We Hate Movies - S10: 457 - The Rock (Live in San Francisco)

Episode Date: December 10, 2019

On this week's show, the gang is live from Cobb's in San Francisco chatting about the absolutely delightful Michael Bay action show, The Rock! Is Nicolas Cage naked under that guitar? Why didn't the movie care at all about those hostages? And is Blimpie still a thing? PLUS: What if Sean Connery played Pennywise? The Rock stars Nicolas Cage, Sean Connery, Ed Harris, John Spencer, David Morse, William Forsythe, Michael Biehn, John C. McGinley, Bokeem Woodbine, and the great Tony Todd; directed by Michael Bay. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

POMAYOR. We're going to be able to be. Hi, everybody. Oh, my God, you came. Thank you. Are you ready to rock? San Francisco, what is happening? Oh, my God.

I think they're ready to rock. What a stupid fucking thing to put in your train? Yeah, I can't. Anyone notice that the website you can go to to find out more about the... Rock is www.movies.com. Did you follow that up, dude? Is that shit still live?

I didn't check it out, sadly. Nothing doing. Is that the first website? No, sex.com was first. Oh, okay. Yeah, and men movies. My name is Andrew Jupin. I'm Chris Cabin. Eric Siska.

Stephen Siddak. And we are Wee Hey Movies from New York City. How y'all doing this evening? Good, good, good. Uh, like that trailer told you, bye screen, bye. Oh. Uh, we're here this evening to talk about the rock from 1996,

directed by Michael Bay. How many of you fine folk out there saw this movie before we announced this show? Oh, right? Hand raising, it's good. Now we're talking. That might be a hundred. It was a cultural phenomenon.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, serious stuff. Summer 96, you were rock hard. This is a Criterion movie, man. I have it on Criterion. I forgot that. Standard Def DVD.

And that shit's not going anywhere. That is on his shelf, covered in dust, hasn't been watched in 15 years. Unlike Armageddon, though, it doesn't have a drunk Ben Affleck talking about how much he hates Michael Bay. They should just put that on the rock coming,

Jair. It's just in the middle of it. All of Michael Bay's movies, like the ones you produce, He's looking at the Turtles movie. This fucking shit sucks. It's still Ben Affleck? Yeah, no, no.

He's drunk talking over all this movies. Why are they horny? Why? Is that Walter Mathau? Why are these mutated turtles so darn horny? That, you know, honestly, like, if Sean Connery passed, if it was Walter Mathau, instead. Welcome to the Rock. I had the blueprints in my head.

He's crazy. Like, that's the difference in old guys, right? Like, Connery says it, you're like, fuck, yeah. If Walter Mathis said that, you'd be like, put that dude in a home. I feel a lot like Alchemides, my old drinking buddy.

You know, like, set this in the 70s and then have it like Jack Lemon and Stanley Goodspeed. Oh, fuck. Well, I'm Stanley Goodspeed. Directed by Billy Wilder, maybe? Yeah, sure. Sure.

Billy Wilder's the rock. How many of you guys are familiar with the show we run on the internet? Very cool. Oh, that's nice. So if there's any first timers out there, if you're here on like a bad date, like we always try to say.

Apologies. Apologies in advance. It might get a little gross. It's definitely going to go over. If you're here like with a parent, that sucks for you. Yeah. It's been really uncomfortable.

But yeah, so we're just, going to go through the movie and kind of make fun of it with everybody this evening. Sound good? Yeah. Yeah, cool. This is a we love movies, by the way. It is. Yeah, technically. Yes. Throw that out there. And someone's like, oh, what the fuck? The rock is great. They're correct. They're going to throw a rock at them.

Well, this movie's a local legend, right? It's like the national, no, citial city-o-city-o movie? Cidial? What? Sure. You want to use municipal there, I think, a little bit. Just a little It's a part of the city of film.

He's crazy. Steve is our Eric translator in house. I'm helping him out. Yeah, I was way into this movie as a little fat kid, right? Oh, yeah. Of course. They're saying dirty words. They're saying dirty words.

You could just like, your eyes are on the screen and the Doritos are just kind of like. This was a like multi-rent. Oh. We rented it. It was awesome. You returned it, and then you re-rented it and watched it again, and your parents just kept thinking you were fucking nuts.

Mother, he's watching that rock movie again. We start with, like, a war commercial. It's like a commercial for war. NFL, Monday Night Football, is brought to you by war. Actually, that's kind of what it is now. Yeah, it is. Well, no, we start with the imprint of the devil's favorite sons, Jerry Brookheimer, and Don Simpson.

and Don Simpson died during this snored his last line during this one he gave his life for this movie he did he was ready to go do you think they buried him out there like on the island under a pile of rocks like Captain Kirk only to be found by birds weeks later yeah it's like Ed Harris he's like getting

dressed up it's very similar to this you know J.T. Walsh killing himself and a few good men Yes, great cinematic suicide, by the way. Like top five. You get all dressed up to the nines, and that's the end of the ball game. So it's like, it's that, and it's like all of this war memory stuff. And there's all these fireballs, too. Like, I don't know if it was like it was an assault on Bowser's Island or something.

Well, that's what he served in Vietnam. He led some strikes during the Gulf War. Sure. And he fucked up the mushroom kingdom, firebubes. What this movie's about? Because he's all like the black ops soldiers. who died in Kupoland or whatever the fuck. Yeah, sure.

All those paratroopers that didn't make it back? And they lied about it saying it was Vietnam or whatever. Sure. And now he wants them recognized, so he's going to do a real stupid thing to try to get that done. Yeah. Well, this movie's really just about how America,

like the American government treats veterans poorly in just a really roundabout way. A roundabout, like, driving in fucking circles to the gas tank runs that way of getting there. Yeah, it's like this movie, yeah, We treat veterans badly, but veterans treat us badly, too. Look at this goddamn general doing all this fucking shit. Yeah, we treat veterans.

I think this dude is still active service, by the way. Oh, okay. Yes. Oh, and, shockingly, he's the best. He's the best general. Yes. Like, that George Washington. We treat generals badly.

We don't threaten them with VX gas, though. Oh, that's the big difference. Yeah, Ed Harris gets his little clammy hands on some of that, huh? I love that he takes his wedding ring off before. off before any of this stuff like just in case he runs into some strange on the road like why not dude you're a widower yeah exactly his wife is dead we see a shot of her grave and it says his wife on it so you know that what's going on I want everybody to know the fucking score here not beloved school teacher or like anything that she did

maybe she was a daughter as well probably assumedly she had parents I think that's how that usually works it'll keep the ghost suit away as well. Oh, that's a great point. Yeah. You better not be dating in hell. Yeah, I saw you take your wedding ring off, you piece of shit. What are you getting up to on that island?

That's just his wife, is a ghost. Obvious, obviously. Another one of your operations? I love it, so he's like, you know, it's raining. It's like Michael Bay raining, and he's like giving this whole speech, which is very different than Reagan. rain, by the way, very different. Heavy duty.

Yeah, and he's like, he puts his medal on the grave, and you know somebody's like, speaking of no one's looking. Totally, dude, the Crip Keeper's coming by, like, oh, another purple heart, huh? This at the local pawn shop, that's next month's rent.

If the Cripkeeper came up would be a pun, right? Oh, yeah, I guess that's true. The pun shop? Right. Oh, yeah. The pun shop. A medal of horror, possibly.

Oh, yeah, mental of horror. They actually get that for inflicting horror. The Medal of Honor, I mean. Yeah, yeah, that's also true. You know what, guys, this is proof in the pudding why the Crip Keeper's a fucking professional. We're up here struggling to find a pun. That puppet cranks those things out.

He writes things. Yeah, he had a team of writers, man. Bruce Valanche wrote all of his best shit. Wow, secret cryptkeeper monologist? Yes, absolutely. That guy wears some cool glasses. Bruce Valanche. He does.

We also... You guys like cool glasses. He's like moving on. Anyone like cool glasses? No, seriously. Don't be afraid. We get, I guess... That guy likes cool guys.

Nick Cage was the first proponent of eBay, I guess. It's like the beginning of his character a little bit. He's like, I got an album off the internet. I paid $600 because I'm a beetle maniac. Man, a grown adult.

referring to themselves as a beetle maniac? Yeah, I'm a beetle maniac. I shot John Lennon. He's the one true beetle maniac. There would have been too if that guy got away with Harrison. I think that guy was a beetle maniac. He just wasn't a successful beetle maniac. Oh, wow, you're a loser and a beetle maniac. That stinks.

Yeah, he works as a chemical weapons, whatever the fuck. in FBI chemical weapons super freak that's right super freak and they get a package from Bosnia and this is like it's like going to Bosnia and aid yeah oh no it was delivered here that's why they're dealing with it it literally says aid to Bosnia on the side it was like intercepted because there's fucking gas and shit in it yeah did you see the label on the box though it looks like one of the little rascals wrote it there's like no less than two backwards ease

Which again, like, yeah, if you're trying to gas those fuckers, make it a little more professional looking. Totally. Don't write no girls allowed on it. That's dumb. Not good. They go in the gas room. They're wearing their fun little outfits there, which is kind of cool.

Yeah, the little space suits. Yeah. It's like outbreak. Yeah. Somebody liked that. Somebody liked it. Outbreak reference. This movie could have used some Dustin Hoffman.

Or a monkey. More monkey. I appreciate the lack of Kevin Spacey. Yes. Although he bites it in that movie, that's kind of fun to watch. Oh yeah, no, he gets the outbreak. He succumbs to the outbreak. Yeah, it's pretty great.

Adios, dude. The outbreak in this is fantastic too when we get to it. The VX gas. Oh, yeah, that's pretty cool. This poor soul turns into a pizza hut meat lovers. And it's fantastic. Oh, the guy, when they're stealing. the VX guys.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes. They have to steal all these access cards, and they've got all these, like, darts because they don't want to hurt military personnel. Meanwhile, people are plummeting 30 feet to their death. Like, I have two broken legs, thanks for the dart. It's okay, he's asleep. He's sleeping.

And they get all these access cards, but at the end, the most dangerous chemical in the world is held open by a master lock that they kind of cut open. Like, it's the end of the day at the gym, and they gotta cut it open? Well, at the end of the day at the gym, you got to clean out a lot of gas yeah locker rooms they get messing they do so they're we we kind of skipped over that they're in this little bunker box

trying to defuse this Bosnian baby there's a little baby doll oh that starts spewing doll yeah there's pornography in the which is you know that's nice humanitarian aid yeah it is maybe it'll open some minds yeah but the gas is not it's It's one of those, like, pornography good. You just wanted to make that clear. Yeah. That you don't support that. Serengass bad.

Just pick one or the others, what I'm saying. It's one of those, like, fake movie pornography things where he's holding up magazines that don't exist, and he's just like, oh, yeah, Ultra Galaxy Babes. And you're like, just say Playboy. Pay to say Playboy. You're Michael Bay. Jerry Bruchheimer's involved.

Fucking license that. Fake pornography magazines are the worst in movies. Oh, and this is also. where we learn of the the heart needles oh right yes yeah because everybody just saw Pulp Fiction like that's pretty cool yeah so if you get exposed to this shit you have 20 seconds to inject yourself in the heart with a huge needle yes and there's the thing if I'm a biomedical scientist and I'm in this situation I will just let myself down yes because there's no way I'm getting a huge needle into my

chest absolutely not but you have to puncture it through your clothes which has like fucking A serengass on it and B, B, O. Like, you know what I mean? Like, you're getting a heart infection. I'm poisoned by my own B.O. No! I'm not like a medical guy, but I don't...

No shit. I don't understand how it, like, works. Because, like, okay, so you cut a hole into your heart, basically. Right. Sure, then the good potion that Zelda made goes in. Yeah.

I think you pull it out. Right. Right? Yeah. You just pissing blood? Your heart comes out, you're like, oh, shit. You're pissing blood, dude, but it's not the fun way. Yeah, right.

The fun way, yes, of course. This guy loves the fun way. But it's like, it's very emblematic of this entire movie. Like, it's one problem, uh-oh, that there's gas, and it's all going bad. And two, now the water doesn't work? Like, come on, fucking FBI. Let's pay the bill. Again, this is just a huge critique of the American government, dude.

They're saying things. One of my favorite lines is here is one of the ratty-haired scientists. We're fucked. And that guy, because that guy has like quickly already accepted death. He's like, yeah, we're fucked. Zander Berkeley's still trying to fight it out.

This guy's like, nope, we're fucked. Also, that is the room. That is freshly divorced is what that is. It's like, he can turn the water. He's like, no, we're fucked. She's not coming back. I spent $600 on a Beatles record. I'm a beetle maniac, maybe.

Her car's gone, we're fucked. She's got a new boyfriend now. We're fucked. We're fucked y'all. Are you actually turning the water or pretending to the turning in the water? We're fucked. I believe y'all heard me the first time I said, we're fucked.

And, you know, they solved the problem, which is a lot of fun, right? Yeah, that's fun. That's nice. This is a straight-up from this. Simpsons, when are they getting the fireworks factory? Yes, oh my God, it takes so long to get to the titular rock. You're telling me this movie's called the rock.

Everyone's saying, welcome to the rock, and all that shit. Yeah. It's like 40 minutes, so we're even hanging out. They needed to do this to establish gas is bad. Uh-huh, yes. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And we're introduced to Sean Kahn. Well, actually, no, Ed Harris calls up John Spencer, who's like the head of the FBI.

Yes, and he's like, guess what, I got all these rockets and you're, you're fun. And they're all arguing in this room. They're like, no, he's like the greatest general of all time. You have to, you had the wrong name. That can't be him. That can't be him. Oh, it's him. I love this roundtable because it's like,

we're explaining the situation ad nauseum. And there's this one straw man guy who, the, what do you call it there? The White House Chief of Stass. Who like gets everything wrong. And it's just like a little turd and like you're supposed to hate him, which makes sense. Ed Harris has to be like, how old are you?

Oh, 30. 3. Wow. It's fucking hilarious because it's like the actual White House Chief of Staff now, Mick Mulvaney. He looks a lot like him. He looks exactly like him. And he's a piece of shit. As well.

So it works. He makes his speech as like, hey, guess what? I've got all these hostages. I also have all these missiles. I know you guys are screwed, so you have two days to get me $100 million. Bye. And the guy's like, well, how bad is it anyway if one of these things go in the atmosphere?

And the other guy's like, oh, it's like, 60 or 70. And he's like, well, that's not so bad. Thousand. 60 or 70,000. You fucking idiots. You are so fucking dumb. Thousand. You can't change the rules on me after I react.

Hey, Steve. Yo, do you like pizza? Yeah, sure. With fucking monkey shit on it, you gross asshole. God damn it. Hey, Eric, do you like sex? Yeah. With children, you sick, fuck.

Oh my God, you heard him! He said it! You can't do that! That's not how shit works! The point is, if you're going to say a number, say the whole number at the same time. Yes, exactly. I think that's where we're getting at.

It's very rude to come down on somebody. Yes. For not letting you have like 10 seconds in between saying a number. But before he did that, he's like, watch me burn this nerd. Oh, 60 or 70. Thousand! This movie, all of their little, like, commiserating all takes place in some, like, dimly lit White House guest room.

Yeah. This movie's really taken its time to get a president involved. Yes. And the dude has one scene at the end of the movie where he's, like, staring out the window, envisioning what his library is going to look like giving this speech. Because he's, like, going to pull the thing

on, like, killing all these people. And it's the same president from Armageddon. Cinematic universe, dude. Cinematic universe, I'm thinking. That's a hell of an administration. Yeah, this dude dealt with a lot of atrocities. It's incredible. You know, I thought that whole Alcatraz thing was bad,

but now the world literally ending. The size of Texas, Whoa, baby. I've got to get a president to say, whoa, baby in a movie like this. It's like a piece of information that's a bit startling to him. Whoa, baby.

Well, if the Russians ever released the tape, we can hear, whoa, baby. Whoa. So they're like, okay, we're going to send a bunch of Navy SEALs to get this guy, but how are they going to get on the rock? And this is when you start to understand that somebody's actually escaped Alcatraz. Oh, shit. What?

That's exciting, right? You fucking kidding me? Yeah, but he's an old man. Whoa. And you have to find out that Philip Baker Hall gets up three times the night to take a piss, which is also like, dude, we're at work. I don't know your bathroom habits. I do that, but just for fun.

There's fun pee breaks, and then there's business pee breaks. Which I also think are kind of fun, because business is fun. Me, do business good. We're introduced to Sean Connery, who at the beginning looks like he's starring in the Rob Zombie remake of the Rock. Yeah. He's as hairy as Chewbacca, I'm listening. He's a bit of a hellbilly.

Yeah, a little bit. The tiniest bit of a hellbilly. Sure. You're going to dig through the ditches and burn through the witches. Slay in the back of my Dracula. White zombie.

What the fuck? Oh, a living dead girl. Ah! So Rob, you're telling me all you listen to is Leonard Skinner. Shouldn't have done this movie. clown makeup, you fuck. Dude, Sean Connery is the clown. Get me the fuck

out of you. Yikes. I am leaving. So you want a balloon animal, do you? Make it yourself. I'm Sean Clownery, the clown. I don't do birthday parties. Shelter shake and not stirred. Right? Come on. Clown stuff. Oh, James Vine.

Now, come down to the sewer with me. Oh, you'll fucking float down here, motherfucker. Nice little paper board you got there. Be a shame if I snatched it from you. Your stupid little raincoat. We'll have fun, little one. Come here. Again, better movie there for sure.

Oh, there, definitely. I'd take three hours of that shit. So who's on this team of Ed Harris is? We got David Morse. Yeah. Tony Todd, God bless him. Who else there? Boeem Woodbine. Boeim Woodbine, of course.

Tucho from Breaking Bad. That's right. This is a solid-ass team. Oh, and John Cee McGinley from Scrubs. Back when he was like a heavy and not like a fun guy. Yeah, that guy had an interesting turn. Now he's just like Mr. Silly Pants all the time. Yeah.

But he was in like Stephen Segal movies. Yeah, fire down below, I think. He's drilling a dude to a desk in that movie. An old man. Not sexually, by the way. No, physically with actual power. It's like a torture thing. Although that could be either way.

I like the idea is be like, hey, you want to watch John C. McGinley drill a guy to a desk? Do I? Oh, man. It's an action movie. And Billy Bob Thornton's watching? Holy mighty. That's a great movie.

It is. No, it's not. So it's a great movie. I do love that there's this. So his whole thing is like, I'm going to take over the Alcatraz, which is an impregnable fortress, I guess, and tell everyone where I am the entire time. Take hostages that don't matter.

I love that the hostages don't matter in this movie. Yeah. Because you avoid all of the shitty hostage things with movies like this. There's no thing about like, you know, some of us have to go to the bathroom. Yeah. Or like, there's not like a pregnant woman and she like goes into labor. I don't know, though. We could have paid a little more attention to the hostages.

There could have been a pizza boat, like a boat with all the pizzas for everybody. Ed Harris calling the White House, like, I need 500 pizzas immediately. Well, we can get you 100, 100 pizzas. Get aboard the SS Domino's? Oh, fuck. I hope you're in should. That is a cruise where you need all bathrooms working for all days of the cruise. Just a Domino's boat?

Yeah. It's fucked up, man. At the very least, I need 300 Blimpy sandwiches. Oh, ew. I think they're out of business. At the time they weren't? I thought they were gone. They were fine in 96.

This might be an East Coast thing. You guys know Blimpies? Maybe it's a West Coast thing. You got to know? Well, if you don't know, it's a fucking abhorrent institution where you get a submarine sandwich with mandatory toasting. Get the fuck out of here. That's Quiznos, brother.

Oh, right, Quiznos. Yeah, I apologize. Slandering Blimbing. I apologize to the Blimpy's estate. You guys got... You guys got Quiznos? It's an abhorrent subway sandwich shop where you are forced to toast your sandwich.

I want to go get a... You know, I'm not gonna eat fast food. I'm just gonna get a sandwich. I'm gonna go to fucking Blimpies. I gotta go to Fatsos. I thought their light went out in the world. I really thought they were gone. Is that what that Elton John's about?

It is. Like a candle in the wind. Oh, I thought you meant the bitch's back. back. That's me walking into a Quiznose. You're screaming about fucking toasting shit, yeah. Here he comes again. Lock the door.

There are plenty of places you don't have to get it toasted. Go there. He's going to ask for a comment card again. Don't give it to him. Oh shit, we're fresh out of those. Oh, we're out of pencils. You know who's weird in this movie is

the Park Ranger who's like the tour guide at the Park Ranger Bob. Yeah, this dude's way too into his job for my taste. You want him not to be into his job? I don't know, listen, you're like a tour guide. Yeah, it's a fucking island or something.

There used to be prisoners. I mean, there were people here and the cells. He's acting like he's a fucking character at Disney World. Like, he's so into it. He comes into the big hallway. He's like, and this is the rock. I'm just like, dude, it was in jail.

Like, people were murdered here. Definitely haunted. I went to Alcatraz in preparation for this episode Sick, dude, field research. Get the facts straight. Yeah. Big Alkees over here. But the Park Ranger we had didn't give a fuck, man.

Oh, really? It was refreshing, yeah. A serious business. He was just talking, he's rambling about TV shows he liked. Wait, what? All right, that's really bad. But follow-up question, what is that dude watching? What's he binging these days?

Anyone ever see the prisoner old British TV show? No, come on, that's what he was talking about? Yeah, there was some connection. What, prisoners? Like some actor was in a movie about Alcatraz or something. Yeah, so season six of Buffy's where they really lost me.

I guess back there is where Al Capone did something. I couldn't be bothered. And then he was just like bathrooms are over here. Can't smoke up there. Smoke over here. You're allowed to smoke on Alcatraz? That's pretty cool. designated area.

Oh, nice. Lots of places have designated areas. I'm pretty... Quiznos? You cannot smoke in a quizness. Believe me, I've tried. Can you only smoke in the Birdman's cell?

I do like when Ed Harris goes up right before they siege the island, he goes up to this tour group of kids. He's like, I want you to tell your teachers to leave right now. And no one's like, holy shit! Like, you know what I mean? Also, that's a bad faith thing

that he's doing right there because four seconds later, they fucking take everybody hostage yes what are you doing you don't give it a chance for anything do you know how long it takes to get a school group together and to go anywhere with fucking children if and if I'm Tony Todd I'm like those the little ones are the most valuable yeah we need them if you need hostages children make the best because people care about them like an abhorrent amount everybody knows that ed Harris everybody knows that yeah that's like two like us can

Kinnap us, no one's going to get a shot. Oh, my God. They'll let us get shot right in the head. He'll kidnap a school bus. Suddenly, you're getting money. There's kids in the school bus, right? They're just stealing a car. Just to be clear.

Yes, yes. Would you drive a school bus? Or download one? Full of children? Wait, what? I don't know. Would I drive a school bus full of children? They wouldn't give me that job.

No, not with that mustache. And I'm very irresponsibly. They, so like, yeah, Sean Connery goes to do an interview room. We find out Nicholas Cage. Nicholas Cage's girlfriend in this movie is pregnant. Nice. Yeah, dude. Yeah.

We see him, like, learn the news. It takes a long time. Big question about this scene. So, like, he's had a rough day after that, like, the doll with all the gas in its mouth. Almost dying. Right. So he, like, takes the rest of the... the day off, which is pretty nice. It's a government

job. You think he's getting charged half a personal day? Absolutely. Okay, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. No, no, no. They're following. There's a paper trip for this whole thing. But you see him sitting at home, and he's like, he's got his shirt off, and he's got, like, thigh out, and there's a guitar over his crotch. Is he naked? Oh, absolutely.

Listening to the Beatles? Oh, yeah. Beetle maniac, dude. Nice. And I'm betting, because it's leather, I'm betting he's sticking a little bit. Well, of course. You can You can't be naked on a leather couch. No way. No way.

You got to put a towel down. That's what the original death wish is about. But some people might like to stick. Wait, hold on. Remind me of what that is in the original death switch. Charles Bronson's ball stick to a couch? Yeah. All right, couch.

That's the last straw. And then he starts walking around, like, waiting for couches to intimidate him. Provoking couches in the subway? Yeah. He sits down on a couch. in Central Park. Oh, don't do that. Oh, ew.

Here's the thing the scene needs, when he gets the news about pregnancy, it's a great opportunity for like a little physical joke here because he's clearly naked under this fucking guitar. Right, so she says, I'm pregnant. He pulls a, what? And then you see his ass, like they cut back and his ass is there.

You're just writing fan fiction at this point. Yeah, yeah. Hey, man, why not? And then his erection cabongs through the fucking guitar. Cabongs, did you say? Yeah. Well, that's kind of like if you penetrate through the wood and then break the strings,

I think it would make, it sound a little something like Gabon. I feel like we should ask Eric Translator Steven Sadek, what he thinks those are. It's about a boner poking through a guitar. Okay. We just spent two minutes talking about it. Gently my guitar comes. Oh, marriage police, pull over.

What a line. You can't marry someone after that line, right? It's just like, no, we're not doing that. So you told him you were pregnant. Yeah. And then you said you should get married. And you proposed to him. And then he said, what?

Marriage police, pull over. Yeah, walk away. Yeah. Turn around. Yeah, I'm pulling over to the fucking curb asshole. Totally. Ditch that beetle maniac. Oh, you're fucked.

You said pull over? You're fucked. That's what I did. Should have pulled out. Yeah, it's a little late for that now. And that's only 99% effective. Isn't that high? It's really good.

Wow. It's real easy, man. Catholic school education, ladies and gentlemen. That's the problem. No, it works. It works. Just pull out and say a little prayer. What?

Then they start having, like, robe sex on his roof, by the way, because they're, like, celebrate... R-O-B-E. Yes. I thought I heard R-O-G-U-E. A rogue? I was like, what's rogue sex? We're going rogue! Get in!

I'm going to put on a little eye mask, and then we're going to have sex. Stanley, you can just call it anal, you know. Fucking, come on, bro. We have a meeting grade afterwards, and no one. one's coming. Like, yeah, I'm not meeting. I'm not shaking that guy's hand. So, when they're having sex here, you might notice,

if you pay attention to the Misan cent of the film. Yeah. There's like a thousand candles lit behind them. Totally. Speaking of Elton John. That is a lot of prep work. It is, and it's hard to, like, remain in the moment when that's happening. Like, it's starting to have, like, oh, cool, let me just light 200

candles. No, no, just wait. We're almost there. 163. 64. Hey, honey, they're fucking on the roof again. I see all the candles lit. We are go for candles. Honey, get the binoculars. We are go for candles. That hot couple's having sex across the way. They're going rogue. Look at it. He gets called over. He's like, hey man, you got to be in this movie. He's like, what movie? Like, oh, it's the rock. We'll explain it on the way. All right, cool. Like, trust us, Stanley Goodspeed. It's going to take another 30 minutes, but eventually we will be at the rock. We just have to have a couple more things and then a car chase. Ed Harris is there.

You know Ed Harris, right? He was in the right stuff. He was in the right stuff. We go to an interview room where Sean Connery needs to be persuaded to help them because he's the only one who knows how to get onto the rock successfully.

They should have asked Clint Eastwood. Didn't he break out in that movie? Yeah, he did. Escape from Alcatraz. Yeah. Also, it wasn't just a clever name. It was actually... I never saw it.

weirdly literal of that name. Yeah. It was a pretty good movie. Yeah. Clint Eastwood. I'm added to the old watch list. And now this is when we're trying to...

We understand that he's got some secret thing going on with John Spencer, which involves aliens, and we'll get to that. But... It's my favorite part of the movie. And he's really secretive about what's going on. He doesn't want to be in the movie very clearly.

is like, Sean, I don't want to be in that movie. You're not getting me out of fucking bed for that. I'm going to wait for something better to come along, like the Matrix. Oops, I turned that down, too. League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, right around the corner. You know what, fuck it, I'm retired. So, yeah, like William Forsyth is in this movie. It looks like he just walked off the set of fucking tombstone with this mustache,

and the slicked back hair. It's kind of gross. Like an 1870s cowboy. Yes. And then they just put a suit on him. Surprisingly, though, William Forsyth, great actor, not playing a skumbag in this movie. Not even a secret scumbag. Well, we don't know his personal life, really.

No, but like, I was misremembering. I didn't see this movie in a really long time. I was misremembering that he was, like, crooked at the end. Oh, no. It's a bit of a turncoat. No, he's like Best Buds with Cage. I kind of ship that, by the way. Oh, for sure.

Yeah. What? You know, ship it. Oh. Oh, like FedEx? Yeah, no. Something like that. You're a big fan of being friends with Nicholas K.

No, it's like I want to watch them fuck. Yeah. Oh. It's an internet term. That's what that means? Yeah. You ship it. You want to watch them fuck.

What's standing? That means that's like you're a big fan of stuff. Oh, I got to get a glossary for this internet shit. So shipping is like, it's like slash fiction, but you don't write out like insertion and all that. You just like, I like them to both together together. Yeah, I mean, it can go either way. It can be whole. somewhere can get fucky.

Really? Get fucky. You can get fucky. All right. In what capacity? Are you writing things down? What website is this? Movies.com? A deviant art?

It's deviant art, right? You'll never believe would Homer Simpson and Lois Griffin get up to you. And what's this stuff called like M. Prague or whatever? Oh, that's just, that's what you get a man. Wait, wait. Hold on. This is a teaching show.

Yes, that's right. Before I continue, wants to leave can leave right now yeah well you said MPEG em pregg now that's when a man is becomes pregnant through supernatural means oh like ghosts fucking well no like like me Arnold Schwarzenegger and my hit film junior oh I was the first M pregg I don't know that that's supernatural so much as it's scientific did he don't put a baby in his belly yeah but he explained on the little thing where he was gonna do it I think you need to rewatch Jr.

100% medically accurate. Oh, wait, that was Human Centipede. I'm sorry. The documentary, Jr. Where he was going to do it, ladies and gentlemen. So what are the common M. Preggs, right? Well, there's a lot of, like, I think Mario's involved in a lot of them. Mario Mario Mario?

Yeah, Mario. Oh, fucking, he's not married, dude. Mama Mario's going to have a problem with that. Waluigi shows up a couple times. Captain Kirk probably too, too, right? He's busting out, baby. I'm knocked up again. Yeah, but that's an easy one.

You go to a planet, oh, now I'm pregnant. You know, that's how that goes. I couldn't be happier that we're talking about this. You just jealous you didn't bring it up, dude. Impregnable Fortress, the Rock. Thank you. There we go. Way to spin the wheel, buddy.

Back to it. So William Forsyth strikes out. Nicholas Cage is like, hey, let's do this thing. You want to be in this movie. Let's get this movie started. Kind of a thing. And it's also, they tantalize him with the same deal they like fakely give to Hannibal Lecter

which is like, you're going to get out, it's going to be totally fine, we're going to put you up someplace. All right, I'll have to consider it at a fancy hotel. Well, no, first he's like, this makes me think of Alchematis. Oh, God. Okay, who's Alchematis? Why do I need to know who Alchamatus is?

Okay. There's William Forsyth and 85% of the people who saw that in theaters. And myself. Me too. I still don't know. And they explained it in the movie. He's an old man.

He's been caged up forever. He hasn't been able to talk. He wants to ramble. Oh, yeah. So that's part of the deal, right? He's got to ramble about Alchamedes and whatnot. William Forsythard throws him a quarter and it sounds like fucking Excalibur.

The Foley artistry in this movie is nuts. It's beta. to like 13. Exactly. It's really tough. Can you make that quarter explode by any chance? What if there's a lot of gasoline on that quarter and we flicked it, it exploded. Oh no, my quarter exploded.

Luckily, there's 1-800 collect, 1996. How did he avoid doing those, by the way? You think they'd get him to do them? Carrot tap was doing him, right? Carrot Top and Sean Connery don't have a lot in common. But I want to see M.Frags's a bit. both of them. Oh no, I've been

M-pregged. Who do you want to see give him it? I don't want to talk about it. We'll talk about it later. I would say Roger Moore. You know what? Roger Moore. And we're going to do it. Super Bond baby.

Super Bond baby. Super bomb. Super bomb. And then, oh, wait a second. And then when the baby comes out, it's just Timothy Dalton. Oh, right. Yes. And you see it grow up, and it goes to school, and the headmaster is George

Lazenby, and he makes Benz with Pierce Brasen, and it's a whole weird fucking Bond cartoon world. Daniel Craig's the jock. And he's always coming out of the pool. So he throws this quarter, blah, blah, blah. He's like, all right, I'm going to go to this hotel.

For no reason, he's tried. Like, Sean Cotterrey is already planning on escaping. But he has to cut open the fucking interrogation window and break it. And with my favorite line, Wormack, I should have known it was you. You piece of shit. He is cursing in this movie to an uncomfortable degree.

It's when you realize that it's exactly what the James Bond movies need. It's him calling people a fucking piece of shit because it sounds so hilarious every time. Eat my ass, Dr. No. Yeah, exactly. Oh, Goldfinger. known it was you. You're fucking

piece of shit. It just is better. It's that garbage brain thunderball. Hey MoneyPenny, want to go fucking a back alley? Yeah. I'm not as charming in this version at all. No double

entendres. Let's fuck. Hey, Q. Last Saturday, me and MoneyPenny went rogue. But don't worry, I pulled out. 99% man 99% of the time it's okay that's good so they take over this fucking hotel

and he's like I need a haircut just because like just don't even bother with the haircut part you know what I mean like he didn't need a haircut in medicine man it's the exact same fucking haircut in that movie yeah he just needs a ponytail like he has in medicine man it looks pretty gosh darn sharp

it's fantastic this is when he starts like Beverly Hills cop pranking the police He calls up for room service, which is kind of hilarious. While singing in the shower, by the way. You notice that they film Sean Connery from the neck up always like a bad MySpace photo because you know it's just kind of round down there. It's like, oh, I've been grizzled in prison for a very long time, but I've...

Yeah, just right up here, Michael. Eyes up here, please. Also, if you take any photos tonight, same principle. Oh, absolutely. Up here. Up here. Just get the lights, I think. It's fine. Maybe the floor of your shoes.

Saw a great we hate movie show tonight, black curtains. And, yeah, so he's... You got any snacks, drinks, lobsters? He's ordering a bunch of shit. This is hilarious. It's like shit Kevin McAllister would order. I made my family disappear. Love it.

A cheese pizza just for me. credit card, you got it, which he's definitely said exactly like that a thousand times. I also feel like if you're at room service and someone's like, hello, this is how I actually talk, can I get a lot of expensive room service? Like, yeah, nice try, asshole. And yeah, you got to bill it to the FBI. No way is that working. Ah yes, uh, fine out under Seymour Butts, that's my agent name.

oh sweet it worked but it does work they get all this food you get Anthony Clark from like a couple of bad sitcoms doing a couple doing no actually I think it's literally too a really bad like 90s

gay joke guy thing it's really really hair stylist blah blah blah it's part of the movie doesn't age terribly well no not at all I mean I don't think it was great then either no no but he's doing like

oh is there time for like a carotene treatment or whatever I kind of wish if they actually dyed his hair yet jet black hair in this whole movie that'd be pretty cool Oh yeah It'd be great cut to

After the whole like makeover is done Cut to like bad to the bones Start the way Oh no no no don't you have to go to I'm Too Sexy Oh yeah I'm too sexy is during the makeover And then it's like you want to see what I look like Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na

I don't know why he's singing the guitar riff It's like dripping down his face It's so bad I'd be kind of into that He looks pretty sharp It's a nice haircut It's not bad It's the Hunt for Red October cut

You know what I mean? It is. He looks a lot like he looks in the Hunt for Red October And this is when he throws John Spencer over the roof Which is amazing Again though When are we getting to this fucking prison island?

This is like the rock prequel This is like the directed DVD fucking animated thing you bought Like the Animatrix? Yes it is It's the Animatrix of the Rock, the first 45 to 55 minutes of this two hour and 16 minute movie. He flings him over, and now we have a very long chase sequence that takes up a lot of this movie. It doesn't need to be here at all.

I think it's like a law that if you film a movie in this great town, you've got to be hucking those cars over the fucking Hillcrests. Even if it has nothing to do with the movie. That was played out, so we're going to add a trolley disaster in the movie. Oh, yeah, we are. This starts looking like a bad Disney World ride, by the way. Dude, the way this trolley shit goes down, people should have fucking wristbands that say trolley strong on them.

Because, like, it's a set... This would be on the news. We are lowering fucking flags across town with this. Ed Harris knows about this. He's a year's about it. Oh, all right, everybody. Hostages, I just want to let you know there's a huge trolley disaster

in San Francisco. You're lucky you're here, by the way. We're going to take a moment of silence for all that perished in the trolley disaster. So it's like, so Sean Connery steals a Humvee or whatever, right? And he knocks into this trolley, which causes the disaster,

which includes it, like, exploding and flying into the sky? Yes. Well, because as everybody here knows, all of those trolley cars are just filled with TNT. Yeah, yeah. That's what they're powered on.

Yeah. Acme brand fucking trolley. Yep. It's just a bit of, bit much. It's a lot much. I think if that occurred while we're at the Rock, I'd be fine with it. I wouldn't even question

how you got a trolley car there in the first place. Is it amphibious? I don't give a shit. At least it took place at the jail. The titular spot of this film. All of a sudden, the guy who has the rockets that turn your sons and daughters into soup becomes a second

story to the Great Trolley disaster. The biggest disaster Santa's fucking San Francisco scene since the great earthquake of 1906. Yes. And you're telling me the same day a guy's hanging off a building by the arm?

This, by the way, John Spencer's arm would just fly right off, right? Oh, definitely. He's like 70 years old in this movie. That thing's ripping right off. That might be my favorite line. Oh, man! John Spencer's too old to be saying, oh, man. His arm is about to be ripped off, and it's

oh, man. Well, he's also swat and pigeons like it's a naked gun movie out there oh my god it's amazing i think that was like an ill-timed thing they accidentally just hit him uh yeah so like they're like they're like they're driving around the trolley disaster happens the president has to visit san francisco all right we're putting a stay i know i said you had 24 hours but after i heard about this trolley disaster the timeline has stopped for our terrorist attack we're gonna put it on pause I think Bruce Springsteen wrote a song about this. The concert for the trolley car.

Look, Ed Harris, I can maybe get you the vice president. I don't know what to tell you. Everybody else is at the trolley disaster. Yeah, the NFL's helmets would change after this for at least a month. My favorite part of John Spencer going over the rooftop there, and this is indicative throughout the movie, a lot of really awesome close-ups that you can

tell it's the stunt double. And John Spencer, if you know what John Spencer, he was like Leo McGarry on the West Wing, he's like an old short guy. He's dead now, right? Yeah, he passed away. Oh, and a blues explosion? Fuck, that's awful. I thought about that backstage. But I love that little John Spencer goes over this

roof and then like it's Robert Mitchum's fucking hanging from it. They don't do a good job at matching up these stunt doubles and it's hilarious. He's a bit like a linebacker. Yeah, so But Sean Connery, his whole thing is he wants to talk to his daughter real quick, who is Claire Forlani, who's dressed like fucking silent Bob

in this movie. Anyone see the size of this coat? Dude, it's like, she's getting dressed. It's like, you're going to give me this fucking floor-length brown duster? I need to talk to you, Jade. Don't give me the schoochie-boochies again. You and the damn

schoochie bootses. You and your very loud friend. Right, you blunt man in Cronor's t-shirts or whatever. And they have this whole scene where you find out that he, when he escaped the rock, he had sex with the lady after a Led Zeppelin concert. By the way, get the fuck out of San Francisco, dude. Oh, wait, hold on, they're getting the lead out up the street. You know, I haven't used my pencil in bits.

Get the lead out of that one. of that one. Shit, I pulled out. It's supposed to be 99% effective. Stupid Catholic school education. It's like, well, I was going to beat it out of town and then I heard the first few bars of stairway. About face, that shit.

So, like, Nicholas Cage does him a solid here. He pretends that he's working with the FBI and not that he literally killed 70 people on the way here. Oh, yeah, the carnage. The carnage, yeah. carnage. She'd be like, oh my God, Dad, it's...

Carmaged. It was dumb. It was dumb. It was dumb. And it will truly be carnage. Oh, that's also dumb. Aren't they holding him

in the rock at the end of that movie? Is Woody Harrelson in fucking Albatross? Yeah, and the end of Venom, anyway, if people don't know, Woody Harrelson's got that scene is carnage, and he's saying that. Right, he's wearing that fucking

Ronald McDonald's wig. He's like, I just got my license. There's going to be carnage. Are they going to do that? I hope so. Oh yeah, it's totally happening, man. Good. Strap in, man.

The one-way ticket to Stupid City. So Michael Bean shows up in this movie. Right, Terminator's Michael Bean. You don't get to see it. Yeah, that's the appropriate amount of applause for Michael. Yeah, that's about right. Careful he might be here. He doesn't have much to do.

He's doing something. Is there a local con? Yeah, he's going to Comic-Con. he's like running the Navy Seals which I think he was also in the film Navy Seals as well he was yeah so he's like running the team and this is when they find out like Sean Connery actually needs to go

to the island to do this stuff right and there's a line here where you blink and you miss it right but I think it's really important Michael Bean tells them that they have to do this during the day because at night the mission would be upset due to the full moon

werewolves I had to rewind it I was like what are you talking about like I guess it's supposed to be the moon is too bright when it's full but you cannot say full moon in a motion picture without werewolves

our nation for too long has disrespected veterans and werewolves and we are uniting on the island of Alcatraz at Harris out these werewolves died for their country they weren't even given a goddamn military burial well they just kind of like burn them yeah yeah but no you put a

werewolf to sleep you know and then it gets burned oh yeah you got a little jar afterwards it's it's like that this dead dog jokes uh dead dogs anyway so sorry eric what were you saying that this general yeah who ran black ops missions and secret wars right are mad that they're not all public yeah you signed that NDA, dude? This is the life. Is his end game like World War or something?

Well, no, he just wants everybody to get like a million bucks each is the idea. Like all the people that died under my command. But meanwhile, when he slaughters these Navy SEALs, he's got to up the money now. Because that's another black cop. You've got to keep going. Oh, you've got to compensate those guys.

Yeah. Like that dude you pushed down the stairs hilariously? Yes. I love that guy. That dude eats shit. It's fucking so funny. So they find out that they have to go to the rock and they go to the rock, right? Finally, they go to the rock. It's like an hour in.

There's like scuba gear involved. By the way, Sean Connery would have a fucking heart attack. This guy is 80 years old. He's eating prison food for the last 40. Like, he's not in tip-top shape, man. No, not at all. And right when he gets there, he has to go through this weird, like, double dare course.

But it's like shooting fire and shit. Why would this machine be turned on? Yeah, why is it still going? Because I think it was like a prison slash haunted castle. Okay. Right. I saw that show, Alcatraz, man. There was spooky shit going on.

No, but the best part is when he found the tag up the fake nose. All the boogers came out. Well, it's kind of great because he's like, oh, I've got to go and the only way to do this is this incredible stunt. Hey, before I do this incredible stunt, for no reason. I'm just going to put this ski mask on. It's like, who are you hiding your identity from? These fucking Navy SEALs, dude? If those werewolves get a glimpse at me, I'm finished.

Now I have to do this very precise, or I'm going to get Nickelodeon gagged. I think it's probably from the heat, because you can't lose those eyebrows. Yeah. I have to make my face more flammable. Because the ski mask soaked in gasoline. It'll take the attention off my body.

And, like, Michael Bean's about to go, and he's like, no, you can't come in yet. Hold on, hold on. Get back. Welcome to the Rock. Right? Like, no, Michael Bean, hang on a second. We need a line for the trailer. Let me come through again.

No, no, let me do it again. Welcome. To the Rock. Yes, I think that was the one. Michael, do you need another one? I can go again. And they left that in the movie. They really true.

Here's Alcat. Man, I thought about that, and I didn't say it, and I should have. What a response. What a great response. Yeah, no, but, Michael, actually, the title, The Rock, is going better than Alcatraz. What is this going to open the door and go, Alcatraz? Al-Qa-Zam. It's short time.

Oh, no, Beetlejuice did that one. Here's Johnny. Yippie Kaye, Prince. Prison Island. Welcome to hell. Are you gonna bark all day, prison doggy? Or are you gonna bite? This is Sparta.

Yeah. Just opens the door, Roche, but nope. That's the movie. I know it's a little late in the day because he's been retired for a while, but Sean Connery as Gerard Butler's grandfather. Let's do it. Sure.

You too were named after the dog. My dog, Gerard. Yeah, that would be rad, actually. Well, I mean, whenever they do, like, pineapple has fallen or whatever the next one is. That's just him on vacation, fucking spilling a Pinacolada? He's in Hawaii. Ack!

The only way to get out of this problem is get me grandfather involved. Yeah, and we're both born and bred in the U.S. of age. Don't worry too much about these accents. Which would make sure. Sean Connery, Nick Nalti's father. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow. Because, wait, an angel is falling.

Yes. That's the new one? Yes. Nick Nulte is Gerard Butler's father? Yes. Figure that out. Yeah. Track that one down.

Well, you just have to give Gerard Butler time, and then it all, you know, might come clear. You came from my seed. Ah, shit, I pulled out. It was supposed to work. Fucking Catholic school. I'll call it Mike. It.

It. So they're on the rock, thankfully. By the way, these Marines aren't paying attention to the hostages and aren't paying attention to much. Wait, wait, the Michael Bean Marines or the Crooked Marines? The Crooked Marines, I apologize. There's a lot of Marines on this island. Because they're like, oh, they set up traps for the Marine,

for anyone that might come along. But they're just leaving these rockets unattended for the most part. At one central location. Yeah, not a great idea. Not good. they go in through the shower room John C. McGinley has set some trap that alerts them to their

presence and then we get, there's so many scenes in this movie that are like a bad one act play where it's like it's Michael Bean and Ed Harris going at it about the fucking Valor and all this shit. Is this like macho military guys yell talking at each other? Yes. You need to stand down and put your arms down on the ground.

Like an out of being that order, sir. Michael Bean's whole argument is too. What the hell is wrong with you, man? Beans, what he says though, it was weird because he's like, listen, Ed Harris, on its face, I think this is a pretty great plan. The way in which you're executing it is a bit of a problem. You know what? It's not stupid.

Okay, I don't think it's stupid at all. That General Hummel had some good ideas, man. Oh, right, Ed Harris' name is Hummel. He invented the figurine. So all these marines are kind of murdered pretty unceremonious. the Navy SEALs Bean Marines Yeah

They get pretty much We're using different Armed services Interchangeably by the way That's sad Very disrespectful Wait what are they Oh they're SEALs

They're Navy SEALs Yeah nice The bad guys are Marines Actually Oh yeah And Sean Connery was in the Army though Yes

That's a third He was in British Intelligence Yeah Like another character he played Oh right I think this movie Was like

Edging Trying to to fucking make an actual James Bond thing. Like they were trying to get him to actually say MI6 and he doesn't. He comes close.

He just kept refusing probably. He pulled out. What? I'm saying it. Sure, yeah. So he did agree at one point then he changed his mind. Well, yeah, he started to do it

and then he, you know, the last second. When he orders the snacks, he could have ordered a martini shaking that stir. Oh, yeah, that's right. They would have got sued, right? Yeah, definitely somebody. Those broccolies will take you to fucking court, dude. You don't fuck with the broccoli family.

Absolutely, dude. They are very litigious. Take your right to the salad bar. So these Navy SEALs are dead, and now, uh-oh, it's our nerdy Nicholas Cage character and this crazy Sean Connery character. And the rest of the movie is Nicholas Cage convincing Sean Connery to continue to be in the movie. It's like, I'm leaving the fucking movie. It's like, no, man, you got to wait.

The movie's back this way. Like, that's half of the movie. Sean Connery has, like, one foot in the escapeboat the entire time. And, like, they go to this morgue, which is where all of, most of the rockets are held. And this is a great action sequence

where Sean Connery, again, who's been fucking eating gruel for 40 years, is just chucking swords in people's necks and shit. And, like, it's amazing. He's like bullseye. Oh, he is like bullseye. Oh, that would be great to be played Bullseye's dad.

That's a daredevil villain. Yes, it is. I taught my son to throw things. He made a career out of it. Good for him. He's bitter, too. He also has bitter dad. Oh, yeah, exactly.

I used to be able to throw better than he could. Don't see anyone put it in the paper. I got a lot. Yeah, now he's just smoking a cigarette at a table. The only thing I'm throwing is beers down me gullet these days. You know, technically Daredevil's a better marksman than you. I'm just saying

it's fucking blind. You're not blind. Bullseye had father issues, huh? Yeah. It's sad. It's very sad. I thought you were walking me right into a pun with that one. No. Okay.

He's just revealing a harsh reality. Oh. Oh, Bullseye, no. Oh, no. Around here is when John Spencer has this conversation with William Forsyth, which is the best thing in the movie. William Forsyth is like, so tell me, who's this Sean Connery guy? William Forsyth stands in for the audience.

Like, can you tell me what the fuck's going on in this movie? Like, why do we care about this guy? This is fucking insane. And he talks about how, like, in the early 60s or something, like he was tasked with stealing micro-feece. From Jay Edgar Hoover. Right, oh, right. It's like the FBI's biggest secrets, which includes.

Well, then John Spencer's, like, going to reel off some of the things that he knows about. And the first one that he blows right by is, oh, the alien landing at Roswell. Also, the Kennedy assassination. Excuse me. Alien landing? Wasn't it always a crash? It was a successful landing?

Yeah, dude, they nailed it. And then Sean Connery found out about it. So this whole time is like, fucking aliens. When are the aliens coming to get me out of this prison? You know, if you know about the aliens, you wouldn't be fucking pissing your pants about Alcatraz. You know, Gremia Locke owes me a favor. But it is the job, listen, if anyone,

anyone tells you that someone, especially if they casually mention this, they have concrete evidence of alien existence and they blow past it, You are contractually obligated by humanity to stop that person and ask them to repeat that first thing about aliens in the greatest of detail. Can I get a recorder here?

Well, no, I think the idea is, like, William Forsydez is high up enough in the FBI where they, like, I guess, like, after you pass your, like, sergeant exam, like, okay, cool, you get a 60% pay raise, you know, your benefits go up, three more sick days. Oh, and by the way, aliens exist. Oh, uh-huh, okay. Great. So what's the co-pay situation? And after three years you get to know about JFK.

You don't fuck JFK, dude. Aliens! Yes! A lot of people fucked them. I'd want to know about the aliens, too. Era, I've been impreged. This is era where Danny DeVito put it. They're multiplying. It's a John John. kind of like the idea of like Sean Connery be like

the only way I got out of the rock the first time which with alien interference does anyone have a transporter beam to get me back out of the rock so you should have asked me before we swam here but you can't I mean and also like the fault of this movie too you can't just drop that

that's not in this movie it's a silly line that like stops the movie dead if you think about it for even three seconds I paused it and walked around the room for a little bit You're not putting and puff it in your apartment. It's so stunningly out of place. Yeah, so then now we're just kind of like doing cat and mouse on the rock. We have a fucking mine cart scene.

Reminds me of another film I did that I don't remember anything about. I mean, it gets very Indiana Jones. It does. This is stupid. Is that shit under that jail? Does anybody know? Fucking, Giddy Kong's mine cart race? the shit.

The aliens used to mind the secret materials under here. It's almost dumber than saying aliens exist in this movie. Lockout, short round. We're on the rock. This doesn't work. I kind of like that they get into the cart

and they're going. And then, like, Ed Harris' team is like, well, I guess we've got to mine cart chase them. Like, we're not, I'm not going to run after him. I'm going to get... You never very rarely get to get to a mine cart chase. No, that's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Twice if you're lucky.

After you murder those guys, you feel really good about yourself. It was a mine cart, and I murdered that guy. It was fun, and I was successful at what I was doing. You know what I did? I threw a grenade back at them. Which happens, like, three times in this movie, by the way. You get that once. I feel like it's rude to throw a grenade back at somebody after they throw it.

Right? I agree with that. It seems like cheating. Exactly. This guy went through the trouble. Pulling the pin and throwing it. You can't just throw it back. Yeah.

You can't pick a bullet out of yourself and throw it back at two months. You shouldn't be able to do that with a grenade. It's like if somebody zings you really hard and you go, not! Like, you know, you can't do that. Wait, so someone zings you and then you're just yelling not?

Yeah. You just throw it back in here. Hey. It's just not polite combat. It's not nice. It's not nice behavior. Yeah, there's a lot. of stuff that goes on, John C. McGilley

burns up like a fucking Christmas tree in this scene. Dude, they torch him like it's the fucking Salem witch drives. Feet first. We're going to find out if you're a witch, John C. McGidley. Oh, no, he's not. Oh, he's in heaven now, I guess.

Nice. This is where Cage starts taking lives, though. He gets that first thrill of the kill. He's excited about it. Because the whole thing is like he's an FBI agent, but he's like a chemical dude, so they had like three weeks of gun training. Yeah. And then he's just been in the nerd lab, you know. So they're all making fun of him, but he saves Sean Connery's life in this situation.

By killing someone. Yeah, and he's thrilled by it. Cabong. Like a true Beatlemania. We kind of skip past it what the actual, the weapon is, this VX gas thing, and it's in these weird little pearl things that look like they're filled with delicious Heineken, did anyone else notice that? I've been thinking about eating these things for 23 years now.

They look delicious. They look like they're filled with awesome lime jello. Or the other thing I think about these sometimes, they look like really relaxing bath beads. You know, maybe it's like a mint thing or something. Drop that in a hot VX gas bath. Oh, you'll just melt into your bath. Looks like a very delicious Tidepod, right?

Huh, millennials? You still eating them? Is that... Did that ever happen? Is that happening? No. What? That's like the razor blade of the apple.

Who knows? No, that definitely happened, dude. Eating Tidepods? Yeah, it's on YouTube. Is it? Oh, someone's going to YouTube tonight. My question... Yeah, you can watch, like, fucking spoiled little white kids kill themselves.

It's great. Not great. Not great. Are these pearl things made a glass? or are they gooey? Because sometimes they clink around like glasses. They crunk and then there's also the goo sound. It's a very gooey situation.

Goody inside the glass. Oh, it's like, okay. The candy-coated outer. Yes, yes. It's like a jawbreaker. Okay. Those are gooey in the middle? Maybe, I don't know.

No, no. There's no. You don't think there's ever a gooey jawbreaker. Absolutely not. How is it going to break your jaw if it's gooey, Chris, you fucking idiot? Because the outer shell is so. hard.

I got it, by the way. Tootsie pop. Okay, yeah. The lollipop with the tootsie inside. Yeah. So they got all these tutsies in this rocket. But this is gooey. It's not chewy.

Yeah. You got me there. I mean, wouldn't it make more sense just to fill it with liquid as opposed to like, I don't know, put these things in the freezer or whatever's going on? Something, something. It's the chemical makeup.

Sure. out of the rock they do look delicious they look so good and we're like removing the chip the guidance chip by the way guidance which renders the rocket useless but not all the way useless no you can still explode yeah that's why i'm like why don't you like you know break the fucking gas line that makes the rocket go not this guidance chip but then it's definitely coming back at you well yeah because like oh and harris like you know what i'm gonna i'm gonna burn down that other prison with this gas. Uh-oh, it went to a fucking school.

The guidance ship was very important. I'm not supposed to do it at schools here. Overseas I'm supposed to do it in schools. And I'm mad that we're not being compensated for all that murder. Guys, don't be shocked. We do it more than you think. It's happening right now.

And right now. And there goes another. So, yeah, we're murdering Marines, and stuff. This is when they've taken out most of the rockets at this point. And then... Connery Hux a knife through a dude's throat like Jason Borghies. Yes, it's very good. Not too shabby.

And then he like drops a fucking air conditioner from the Civil War on his head. I think that was America's first air conditioner. Was on Alcatraz and they just left it. Franklin Air Conditional was stationed here. It was a guard and he developed this. That was John Adams'

air conditioner. I need an air conditioner. here. Paul Giamatti as John Adams. I'm sweating off my fucking powdered wig. Can you believe I'm married to Laura Linney? A dab? Can I get a dab for the forehead? Second president. And so at this point they remember they have hostages. They're like, well, we're going to use, we're going to implore them with this like this whiny guy named Larry Henry Henderson. Oh, dude, Larry Henderson.

Poor Larry Henderson. And I get it, Larry Henderson. You're in a very stressful and terrifying situation, but this guy is a true and total coward. Well, he's had such a day. Those cells are so small. He had to shit in front of like 15 people. They're like on top of each other in there.

This guy is just like kind of blubbering a bit too much. And it makes the movie like a little serious for a second. When are the pizza boats coming? I'm just starving. Provis pizza boats. Where are they? Or it sank? Where are the bathroom boats?

Boats of bathrooms. This just in after the trolley disaster, another fatal disaster, the sinking of the pizza tannia. The domino's pizza tannia. This is San Francisco Bay ran red with marinara that night. These are

fish are going to be eating garlic sauce for a decade. It's the world's largest pizza poke. It's unsinkable. I hope you're insured. Looks like the hull was made a thin crust. Well, gentlemen, it's been an honor serving with you.

I'm going to rearrange these garlic knots on this Women, children, and bornless buffalo wings first. Get out to hear, Billy Zane. Billy Zane is the Noid. Oh, yes. Roll of a lifetime, dude. Also, he's kind of dressed like it in the Phantom already.

If that sheet was red and he had a pogo stick, same movie. replace that horse with a pogo stick, Billy Zane as the Noid, absolutely. If we passed around a hat, we can get enough money to get Billy Zane to do the Noid movie right now. There's enough folks in the audience. Oh, my goodness, I could pay my cable bill.

Noid it is. Is he on cameo? Yeah, oh yeah, he could do that. So, yeah, I don't even remember where the fuck we were because we're talking about pizza votes. Oh, no, the air conditioner fell. No, the hostage guy. who's when Sean Connery

meets Ed Harris and they have like a tete-a-tete-tete a bit here. A little bit, yeah. It's not too bad. Two like real Titans of the Craft going at it on screen. Another Vorheising is Nick Cage gets like two, this big Marine

like rips his arms through a house and pulls Nicholas Cage through it. Yeah, that was a jump scare in the rock. Also not needed. And they wind up getting both captured and now they're, they're prisoners on the rock, which makes a lot of sense.

Meanwhile, yeah, we lost a couple of... Who are you asking? God. Yes, Eric, I do. Another great joke. I know Ed Harris lost a lot of his team. You got to put...

A, either kill these guys or B, put one guard on them. Like, literally one dude. Just any... Like, the lowest on the totem pole at this point, which is, I think, his book, Keem Woodbine in this movie. Yeah, probably. Just ask him to stand there. All right, we lost

40 of our guys. Put them in the cell with nothing on it. This guy is famous for one thing and one thing alone. Fucking break it out of this place. It's a really good point. Stupid. This is where you're a great line from Nick Cage where he's like, okay, but so you

did all that, but how in Zeus's butt hole did you get out of your cell? Which is an improvised line, as we're told. Or so, the legend goes, right? The legend of IDB trivia, yeah. And you can imagine, like, Michael Bay's, like, in the head said, like, the fuck did he say?

See, Zeus's, what was that, butthole? Butthole? All right, print. Keeping that gold. So, Sean Connery makes, like, this, like, latch out of his bed sheets and throws it and unlocks the thing. And that's just how he got out of his cell, everyone, because when Alcatraz was operating,

there were no guards, no other prisoners to make noise. You could just throw bed sheets with a wrench fucking clanging down the hallway. Yeah. No problem. Well, this is when he talks about all the stuff, like why he never told them where the microfilm was. He's like, they'd fucking shoeishide me.

Like that Jeffrey Epstein chap. Speaking of which, where's his phone number? Well, that was on the microfilm as well. the location of the island. Not to be confused with Michael Bayes, the island. No. No, no. Not that island. No, no, no. Just that magic conspiracy theory

island. Only two people know where it is, and I'm one of them, baby. Praise for Life, Clinton. You got a haul-ass straight through the Bermuda Triangle, baby, right through the juicy center. Get to Epstein. Ireland. Oh, I'm so excited. This better be worth it.

I'm taking my boat that's made out of pizza. Uh-oh, it's sinking. No, but this, it's one of those stuffed crust so I could drive this boat backwards. Sure. I don't know. It's sort of something. He just eeked it in there right at the end. I feel like some of you will be in the shower tomorrow laughing about that

joke. You're like, you know what? That guy was Driving a boat backwards. Now that I'm naked, I understand. Yeah, it wasn't until I was cleaning my crotch the next morning when that joke really hit. It's sort of like I'm driving my boat backwards right now. That guy's a genius.

Yep, absolutely. I'm funnier when you're naked. Name of your autobiography. That's right. So they escape again, and this is when, When Ed Harris is kind of, he's balking, right? Because he's supposed to, like, annihilate 60 or 70,000 people, we're told. And he doesn't want to do it, right? He doesn't want to do it.

He's having a change of heart, which is this movie kind of being a bit disingenuous here. Like, let the villain be the villain. Yeah, they're trying to redeem him. Yeah, that's not good. Or, like, if you don't want to kill people, or you don't want to kill thousands of people, you got all these hostages. Blow Larry Henderson's head off. Yeah.

That guy was whiny. or at least pretend to like do a gunshot on the phone yep we've all done it totally acceptable that's how you call out of work exactly Eric's dead I'll be in tomorrow though I love that though like once Navy SEALs get onto your island and you don't kill anybody as retaliation the US government's not gonna pay your ransom dude Nope, definitely not. And the whole thing goes tits up immediately. Ed Harris kind of knows it right here.

As we're like thankfully approaching the end of the movie. Yeah. No, yeah, it's launching out to what looks to be. It's a football game. Yes. But thank God it only goes out into the ocean. That's not going to have any effects. Take that marine life.

Eat shit once again. Thank God. I would love it if like John Carpenter directed one scene of all these fucking manatees with their eyes falling out of their heads. the entire ocean just turns red that'd be cool because then there'd be an awesome

like synth score while it was happening bough mom boom do do do do do look at all these dead seals do do do do do do do

do you like pepper in some whale noises because that sounds like something cropped right it sounds like they're crying to death it's like VX gas

no it goes right into a whale and I was like, eh, ah, that ain't plankton. While a slush of 40 dolphins watches up on the shore. How do you think they get tuna fish, dude? VX gas. Most commercial fishing vessels use VX. I don't know, man.

You get some of the tuna salad back home at a deli. There's VX gas in that shit. You can taste it. It's the flavor. This is when Tony Todd kind of becomes the real villain, him and some other guy, this white dude is just around in this movie. Oh, Jim's McGee.

Yeah, he's got a real pronounced but chin, pretty handsome. So we do, like, a lot of people wrote this movie, like I did passes on it. Quentin Tarantino did do a pass, which you could tell from the Mexican standoff scene. Yes, absolutely, and also the scene where Sean Connery's looking at Nicholas Cage's feet. Both scenes, QT, did a pass on.

I'm just saying, Michael, what if he's looking at his feet, Man. Well, all right. Let me tell you what a hamburger is in Scotland. Do you know what Madonna's borderline is actually about? It's about Scottish hamburgers. So, yeah, there's this Mexican standoff. Ed Harris is now kind of this reluctant hero,

and so is David Morris, who's also in this movie. Yeah, not enough Morris, man. Speaking of George Washington. All right, he played him in... In the John Adams movie. Remember that? John Adams. Six degrees of Paul Giamada. Yeah.

Dude, all I need is one. I want to be right next to him. I was one time. Oh, really? True story. Okay, go on. I was going to see Black Panther and I was waiting on the concession line, you know,

and he was in the next one over. Oh, wow. Yeah, that was it. I heard him say, like, he had like his son What do you order? What do you order? Popcorn. After saying,

butter? I don't remember, but he was like, so what do you kids want? Popcorn? It's like, well, Giamatti, you're at the movies, man. Yeah. Have I ever told you my Paul Giamatti story? Yes, and it's way better, so please proceed.

When I was on my honeymoon in Japan, I was- Nice. I was walking up to a temple and coming down the other way was Paul Giamatti who then looked at me like I had come up. come to hunt him down. I always knew this day would come, Chris Cabin.

Was he, like, astral projecting there? What the fuck is he doing there? I don't know. He was there with his friend. He's the Doctor Strange circle thing and he gets out of there? Hang on a second. Do you kids want popcorn?

But I've gotten that look from celebrities before. I saw Uma Thurman once. She's like, oh, fuck, this guy. I'm not going to do anything, man. I'm just, you're cool. But she's like, oh, dude, do not be creepy to me, you little weird creep. I didn't do anything, obviously. Oh, I smell the Tarantino poster on you.

Exactly. Oh, I smell it. She had a flashback to your college dorm room. No, you cannot look at my foot, you fucking creep. She was very nice. So there's a big Mexican standoff. Ed Harris and David Morristi. Totally.

So did a bookie and Woodbine. And now it's like just the Tony Todd show at this point. Tony Todd, best death in the movie. It's right here. Nicholas Cage fucking launches a rocket into his chest and he goes out a window and if that wasn't enough of an indignity, he fucking falls on a pole.

That's also wrapped in barbed wire like Mick Foley was rasseling out there. And then all the and then all the bees start coming out. And then it really gets crazy. And since he's a bad guy, no one will be missling him. I had to get him.

boo-in. I had to get a boo-in. Every show, at least one. It fuels him, really. It does. I love it. But if you're Tony... He's stronger now. If you're Tony Todd, you have to understand when you're getting set up for a death punch line. Because Nicholas Cage, I didn't know. He's like, hey, do you like the song, Rocket, man? And, like, Tony Todd, standing in front of a rocket, like, yeah, so? Like, I would be like, yeah, so. Like, you know, give it a second. Get away from that fucking rocket aimed at your heart.

Stop talking about random shit with people you're trying to kill. It's not like, oh, hey man, do you like fucking, I don't know, like, you like Led Zeppelin. That's like a ray, you know, maybe I'll say yes when I'm standing in front of a fucking rocket. Yeah, it's an obvious movie. It's an obvious, yeah. No, the best death of the movie is the other guy, the white dude. Oh, yeah. No, this is good.

It's tough, man. It's like picking your favorite kid. So this is tough. I'm told. And we're told throughout this movie that these little balls of glass scoop are very like, delicious. Oh, yeah, fragile.

You want to eat them. But they're supposed to be super fragile. And Nick Hedges just puts one in his pocket, falls down like 10 flights of stairs, gets thrown through a window, runs around everywhere, no fucking problem. But then he just shoves one in this dude's mouth and crushes it in there.

Yeah, it's a problem. He basically was like, oh my God, this is delicious, and his eyeballs are popping. Oh, fuck, it wasn't lime. It was salad apple. Still good, though. So this guy starts puking his actual guts out.

Yeah, totally. He's like Kevin Spacing outbreak. Oh, yeah, he turns it to a de journo pizza. And now Nick Cage has to inject himself in the heart. He does the thing. No problem. Yeah. Andrew did. He does it. And then he

Michael Bean, like, forced ghosts him, he's like, remember at the end of the movie to use the green flares. That'll end them. Look, Nick, you want to get out of this movie? You got to light those fucking flares, buddy. This is also after the president has had this monologue where he's like, well, this is a really shitty day. And I'm going to kill all these people and I never should have run for president. I hate this. So soon after that trolley disaster. What a fucking afternoon.

So they launched that airstrike and the dude sees it at the last second it's so great and it's like, oh fuck! And he tries to like pull up. But they still bomb the shit out of Alcatraz. I feel like if I was in a movie and I have to do an air strike on something, I'm like, no. I know it's bullshit. It's always bullshit

because at the end it's like you shouldn't do the air strike and then like you have to pull away and all that stuff. It always happens. Yeah. The running man taught us what would happen if you resist, though. The government will set you up, dude. Oh, that's right. Oh, yeah.

Ben Richards. That was Arnold's name in that movie. Oh, right. Remember Ben Richards, hero of running man? So this prison gets bombed, but it's like

the wrong side of the island, so all those prisoners that nobody cares about are totally fine. Yes. The hostage prisoners, whatever. I guess we never see them again. Right.

They could be all dead. Right, maybe they were vaporized after all. Fingers crossed. No, no, yeah, yeah. They were fine. They all went back they went to their families, it was fine.

They're not dead. But Cage gets, like, blown off the island into the water, and Connery jumps in and saves him, and the second, the two of them, like, get back up to the surface, the most inappropriate fucking flute scores starts playing.

Like, it's the last scene in Braveheart. This also happened when Sean Conner was talking to his daughter. It's like, he's a leprecha or something. I don't even understand this. What were they thinking? I want to marry you. do do do do do No, just no

If a character isn't on a horseback Get that flute out of here I need to be near the Moors Yes And this is when You know he's like he's got the phone And John Spencer calls He's like Itch for you

And he's like, where's Mason? And like Conner's like I'm dead. Tell him I'm dead Tell him I'm dead. Tell him I'm dead vaporized, vaporized. Vaporized. Oh, he had a heart attack on the toilet. He's dead.

Oh, fuck, I'll find. I'll take it. He'll do. So yeah, he helps him fake his death or whatever. And then, like, maybe he'll go see Claire Forlani. Maybe not, because she's not in the movie anymore. No, no, no, no. I'm glad he spent 20 minutes to find her, though, that's for sure.

He does also, he's like, oh, if you're ever looking for, your name is Goodspeed, you know that means God. Godspeed, which means good journey. No, no, no, don't leave the movie theater yet. I've got a good one there. And he's just like, if you're looking for a good journey, you can go to Wichita, Kansas, and find the secret about the aliens that I know. I think it was Fort Walton, maybe?

Oh, Fort Walton, yeah, yeah. You guys should actually go there, try to find this. It might be real. He says it's under, like, a pew and a church or something. So the last scene of this movie is Nicholas Cage robbing a church. Yeah. Like, the pastors chasing after him, like, you damn conspiracy theory? Also, there's a bulldog at the end of this movie.

I feel like that was like a test-scriding thing. Like, there could have been a dog in the movie. Like, well, the dog can't be on the island. Yeah, that, like, green ball look pretty delicious in everything. But why doesn't somebody have a bulldog? We're replacing their baby with a dog, okay? I imagine it was really originally shot with the child. I don't know.

Yeah, why wouldn't you just put a little baby in there? Why not? This dog has never been. We've been talking about the baby. Show the fucking baby. But also, you're about to have a child. Now you're bringing a dog into this situation. Your apartment's going through a lot of stress.

You found this fucking footage that tells you about aliens. And that's the fucked up thing. The last line of this movie is him being like, you want to know who shot JFK? I'd be like, no, tell me about the aliens. Honey, you want to know who really killed Epstein? Not unless it was an alien. And that is the end of the movie The Rock.

Now, since this is technically a we love movies show, Steve Sadek, does this movie hold up? It really does. I mean, like, there's actually, the only, like, sort of problematic stuff is the Anthony Clark bit and, like, some of the weird stuff. But mostly, it's really good. The action's a lot of fun.

It reminds me of a time when, like, these were blockbusters. Like, movies about, like, people fucking... throwing swords at their own necks and all sorts of it at their own necks i don't know that that sentence went all sorts of wrong it's in my brain at middle that that's sank faster than a pizza boat dude that's what happened that's what happened to epstein he threw a sword at his own fucking neck yeah he sorted himself threw that sword right on his own neck i'm glad that's sorted itself out it's believable

I'm going to leave that alone and probably stop talking, so yes, was the answer to your question. I also think the movie holds up. I was not expecting it, too, really. I haven't seen this in so many years. Trolley disaster, it's a little long in the tooth. I feel like they could have cut back some of this shit, but they just needed more action set pieces.

I guess so, yeah. No, fuck yeah, it's the best movie. Number one? It's the best movie. Number one. I mean, it's the best Bay movie by far. Oh, well, yeah, that's not, I mean, please. Yeah.

What are you talking about? I could talk again. It's the best Bay movie by far. That's not even up for discussion. Yeah, what they said, it totally holds up. Yeah. So we have to start wrapping up, unfortunately. We want to thank you guys for coming out here.

Give yourself a round of applause. Thank you, guys. This is our first time in your beautiful city, and we had a real nice visit. Big thanks to Cubs for having us, of course. Now, if you're familiar with the We Hey Movies Live show, We love to end every hangout session with a little correspondence from the Internet movie database, which if you don't know...

It's the best kind. It's the greatest place to find information and awesome, legit opinions about movies. So we just have one for you tonight. It's the best source for sane, sane thinking. Totally. Well said. Sentence well done.

I'm not throwing stones on this end. I'll play it that much. You sound steep now. So this is one out of ten stars. Oh, come on. Subject line, one of the worst movies ever.

Whoa. Written by not Rick, but other Rick. Wait, what? His handle is Other Rick. It's stupid. I don't know. It's an I.M.D.

handle, who cares? Okay. Just telling you so you can find it later, Cabin. Okay. Written June 25th, 2004. Uh-huh. I guess approaching the 10-year anniversary almost.

He might be dead. Uh-huh. It's been a long time. No, Rick is dead. Other Rick is still kicking. I love to bring... This guy sucks. I love to bring up this movie in casual conversation.

Other Rick is a dick. Yeah. I like this already. Someone says, that was a pretty good movie. But after I point out, two or three things, they usually admit that it not a good movie in any way. It not a good movie? I'm reading it how he's writing it, man.

I kind of love the idea of someone just even mildly like, that was kind of a cool movie. No, it wasn't, and here's why. Lock the door. Everyone sit down, here's two or three things. How long you got? That's kind of what we did tonight. Yeah, mom, get my laptop. PowerPoint time.

Yes, dear. The plot has holes big enough to drive a Mac truck. Room, room. You can drive a truck through it. Soldiers who died in a declared war had their deaths covered up. Why?

That's the fucking boy in the fucking movie. Because that's what they wrote, man. All right, all right. Everyone in the world knew here they were and what they were doing. Did I write that? What? Dude, he's other rig!

A man is kept in prison for 30 years with no charges and no convictions and no one notices. Yeah, that happens all. Yeah, yeah. That one happens all the fuck's up. I can wake up call it as other Rick. A dozen men can steal a dozen weapons of mass destruction, including missiles.

In 10 minutes with dart guns? Yeah, okay. I'll give them that one. That's fair. You should be killing these people, or at least tying them up or something. Seals can't figure out how to open a locked door? I don't even know what that reference is. I mean, I guess Dave, I don't think seals actually can

because they're animals. I'm sorry, it was all capsules. I think they're referring to the door to the rock. That Sean Connery has to go through the maze for and beat the fucking minotaur. Yeah. That's why they hired him. That's the movie of it, Rick.

That is the movie. All right, here we go. You get the idea. I can't get through three minutes of this movie without shaking my head in disgust. We are We Hate Movies from New York City, everybody. Thank you, coming out. We'll see you next time.

Bye-bye. You have been a treat. Please! I'm going to be able to be. I don't know. And so. I don't know. I'm going to be able to be.

I'm going to be. So, I'm going to be able to be. That was a hate gum podcast.