We Hate Movies - S10: Episode 449 - Child's Play (Live in Chicago)

Episode Date: October 22, 2019

Recorded live at Thalia Hall in Chicago, Illinois - June 16th, 2019 On this week's episode, the 2019 Halloween Spooktacular is live from Chicago's Thalia Hall as the gang is chatting about the original Child's Play! What's with all the gun play at the beginning? Why was Brad Dourif's character studying voodoo at all? And does anyone out there have any Child's Play tattoos? PLUS: Tommy Wiseau has the world's worst pool parties! Child's Play stars Brad Dourif, Catherine Hicks, Chris Sarandon, Alex Vincent, and Dinah Manoff; directed by Tom Holland (not Spider-Man). Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Trial All-Stage, We Hate Movies! Chicago, what is happening? We're rolling out. Chicago, Illinois. If you can't tell this fucking heinous visage is Guy Fieri. Yes, Chris Cabin is wearing a Guy Fiery mask. Chris, can you let us? know why? Because I found it.

I thought it was just fat David Boreannis. I couldn't tell the difference. So like David Boreanus on CBS's FBI or whatever the fuck that what's he doing these days? He's on CBS's he's rolling out on something man. Oh my goodness gracious. My name is Andrew Jubin. My name is

Chris Gabin. I'm Eric Siska. Steven Sadek. We are. We hate. movies from New York City. How y'all doing this evening? Marvelous. Marvelous. This is I'm so fucking terrified. Even if it's... No, that's worse.

It was bad before, but I can see his eyeballs through the tiny holes. Yeah, that's the worst part. Lifeless eyes. My eyes are hideous. Like a doll's eyes. The devil's eyes. Oh my God. It's going to be at it.

If you insist on keeping that. All right. Fair enough. All right. I will ask this, how many of you all are familiar with the program we run on the intranet? Very, very cool. I will tell you this, if there's any first timers in the audience, maybe a couple of drunk dads got dragged along.

Happy Father's Day. I see some hands in the back. We got some drunk dads. All right. It's Father's Dad. Yes. drunk dads. Happy Father's Day to that guy. That's awesome.

Chris Cabin, we have some acknowledgments to make up front beforehand. Take it away. Nick from Scott Air Force Base. Did I get it right? Okay. And he's the drunk dad. This is awesome. He's a drunk dad. Give around applause for Nick from Scott Air Force Base

for coming out. Thank you so much, sir. Came a long way to be here tonight. Rock and roll, man. I'm just saying I came from New York, so nobody kids. Nobody cares. little farther. No, nobody cares. Nobody cares, though, but nobody cares. I know, no, I know what he was saying, but nobody cares.

He doesn't have to get paid. It's fine. It's okay. Sorry about it. Child's play, huh? Right, child's play. We will get there right now. How many of you guys saw this movie before we announced this is what we were going to do with the show this evening? I got to say, I really appreciate there was one dude here in the third row who had his arms ready to go. Like, I'm clapping, fuckhead, get ready for it.

No, I think it was more like, yeah, I've seen child play. Yeah, we all know why we're here, stupid. Hasn't everybody seen child's play? Well, that's my question. Are there child's play heads in the audience? Like, people who ride or die for their shit? Are we told me?

Sir, let me ask you this really quickly. Any child's play related tattoos? All right, Farron. We're totally fine then. Thank God for that. All right, we are level-headed. We are ready to go in our fandom. Well, that would be terrifying because you're at a pool

and you're like, why do you have a little weird little kid tattooed on you? Like, ew, man. It would be funny if you just got Chris Sarandon? Yeah, I mean, you're a huge fan of the Childs Play franchise. Here's the fucking weird cop from the first one. No, this is the building they live in. It's right here. It's actually a historic building.

I don't know if you know that. And this one's Brad Durf's jacket. I don't know if you can see Brad Durif's jacket. Did anybody watch this for the first time in advance of the show this evening? Wow, okay, so really quickly, all right, wait, hang on, hang on. By a round of just random noises, what is the overall opinion from the first timers in the crowd? Yeah, you're nay.

You're incorrect. Split down the tired middle. That's exactly what I thought it would be. This is Child's Play from 1988. I have my notes from Species, by the way. Oh, cool, that's fine. Yeah, no. Directed by what's his face?

What's his face? Oh, Spider-Man, Tom Holland. Oh, Tom Holland, of course. Director of previous episodes that we've done. Thinner? Thinner was one. And Fatal Beauty? Fatal Beauty was the other one.

Thank you for you. Fater Beauty. I do have fatal beauty. That guy for your hair mask, too. I like, a fright night. That's a good movie. That's a good movie. Come on, everybody.

So if this is child's play, I'd hate to see adult play. and now the requisite how long have you been sitting on that already it hasn't even been 10 minutes oh I was waiting for someone to say bend over and I'll show you oh fuck I'm sorry

that's on me I don't know if there's any kids in here you know that is no dude that's the move is it's adult play and instead of this remake that they're making which could be good could be bad it's adult play but it's like a real doll comes to life

oh my god a serial killer is running through a Born warehouse. And he comes and do it so much that it gains sentience. Isn't that just Lars and the real girl? Yep. That's the sequel. If that movie

was better at the box office, the sequel is Ryan Gosling is fucking this thing at the nursing home that he worked at or whatever that movie was about. And she just comes to life and starts talking, which I, you know, now we got a movie on our hands. Now we've got a franchise on our hands, actually.

I think that's what they were trying to do with Manigan 2 on the move, by the way. That guy was molesting that thing. Approximately, two people are aware of the existence of mannequin two on the move, judging by the reaction to that reference. I think a lot more are. They're just keeping silent. They don't want to be like, yeah, yeah, I know a mannequin too.

No, we don't want them to know. I'm on a date right now. Don't bring this up here. Manicant two on the what? Covering up a mannequin tattoo? This is them on a bike from the point. poster. Oh, also, by the way, I have to say

Tom Holland directed one of my fave, Fave, Stephen King, television adaptations, the Langaleers. Is that the, like, bouncing nutsacks with mouths? No, they're like mean clams, dude. And Balke-Bartacamoose from Perfect Strangers gets eaten by one. Yes.

I had that movie taped off of television because I had a massive crush on the woman who was the wife in the city Slickers movies. Oh. Figure my childhood out. Why couldn't you just watch city slickers? Yeah. Oh, I did. Over and over again.

The first ten minutes only. Fair. Because she leaves them at the airport, and then that's it. Oh, that's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are we doing city slickers? No. Not yet. Okay.

So the first lines of this iconic film... Iconic. Is, I got the strangler at Wabash and Van Buren. Which is like, wait, what movie am I watching? It's like a gritty 80s crime drama. Yeah, detective, I need you to be a little bit more specific. It's 1988. We've got a lot of stranglers here.

What strangler are you hot on the trail of, Bob? Well, this is the problem is you don't seem strangling. We don't open with any strangling. No. Mary a strangling to be found. It looks like a robbery gone wrong, and he's running around, shooting a gun. Come on, gun, strangle.

Live up to your fucking police-anointed nickname. I hate to use this. Do you think it's a thing, dude, where, like, Chris A Randon's, like, cold on the trail, and he was like, oh, no, a gun, he's escalating. Now what do we call him? I think it's more, like, Braddorf shoots a guy five times. He's like, what you do? You kill him. He's like, no, I just strangled him.

Oh, he doesn't know what strangling actually is? I strangled him five times. No, you're not giving yourself the name, man. The cops give you the name based off you the M.O. Haven't you ever seen Law & Order? No. So, I know that to be a fucking bold face. I lived with you in the same room for an entire year.

That's true. The outfit and the hair that Brad Dorff is sporting in this movie, he looks like fucking Tommy Wiseau in the beginning of this one. Oh, he deaf does, dude. Good call. Oh, hi, Andy. Oh, Andy, you're gonna come at me with a voodoo spout chicken. See, now that guy, I'm like, yep, he strangles people.

Yep, he does voodoo. Yep, he's dead. Beverly putting his fucking weird Eastern European soul into the fucking doll body. That guy will do anything to live forever, I guarantee you. I got Tommy Weizzo and Wabash and Van Buren. I didn't direct that movie, I swear. Dude, you're going to cut to 30 years from now. It's going to be like, yeah, I'm in the body of a doll, but I'll still do a Q&A with you, chicken.

Oh, give me the boy. You just got to pay me $500. Can everyone do the world a favor and stop attending those Q&A's? Put this virus away. I'm sick and tired of it. Sold out everywhere. Tommy Wise-O. It's financing the world's worst pool parties.

Yeah, there's no chlorine in here. Scared to jump in chicken. Splish, splash. Chief, chip, chip, chip, chip. Now you're all wet. If I boil through the noodle, the water comes out. Ew. Yeah, he would be an asshole at pool parties.

No, absolutely. So, yeah, he's got a partner named Eddie, who is, like, his wheelman, I guess. Brad Durf has the partner, not Detective Chris Sarandon. It's a serial killer tag team? I think he's just like, oh, cool, you strangle the ladies. I drive away. I strangle the wheel.

Yeah, I'm the driver for the strangler. Which one? Actually, the strangler will not actually strangle that woman. He requested only green M&Ms. I'm kind of his handler. Oh, no, no, no. I work for the Lakeview Strangler, not the Wicker Park Strangler.

I'm sorry. Classic mix up, dude. So many stranglers in this town. And this guy freaks out because he's like, I'm not going down for this shit. He hightails it. And Braddrift's doing some good, like, oh, man.

No, no, Eddie, no. It is a solid mix of I'm trying to get away from this cop who I was firing a gun at and then like a dash of like the kid who gets upset that the rest of his buddies drove away from the mall parking lot without him.

Come on. He's also like a little near tears which is kind of sad. Braddorf is always near tears though, dude, that's his thing. Whereas the Strangler's M.O. is the strangling? Brad Dorov's like the teerer he's always almost crying

in everything Wow what a good actor Even spontaneous human combustion where he's spontaneously human combusts Classic was he the dad in that What was he in that? He's combusted He's just a guy that combusts?

He's the main combustor It's some like horse shit science experiment Something or other I don't know Yep he's the son of combustors I think So he's a father was a combustor He's out an open street There's like subways everywhere

is like, fuck, I'm really, you know what, toy store? Like, no. When in doubt, run into the toy store. Yeah, every time. Not the restaurant. This movie, this movie is acting. Like, this toy store is this, like,

cavern is fucking F-A-O Schwartz toy store. It's the labyrinth from Labyrinth. Though the titular labyrinth. Yes. Right. It's just this tiny-ass toy store, like, hey man, break into the front door and then run out the back.

Yes. There's nothing for you in this toy store. You're not going to camouflage yourself or whatever. And even if I knew a voodoo right to get my soul in another body. Right. I'm not stopping at the toy store.

You keep going. You find something, you know, flesh and blood. There's a Cantonese cuisine place right next to it. Just go there. You're just getting hungry. That's what's going on. Maybe a little bit. Maybe a little bit.

And Sarandon fires out of me. He shoots him in the heart and he's like, oh man, I'm dying. He's like, I'm going to get you, you son of a bitch. but, like, I would so rather be dead than be a doll, personally. Dead? I would rather be dead than most things, honestly. Like, really, like me.

Just, you know, in general, like, oh, no, I'd rather be dead. Than a touring New York City podcast. But that's a great point, because, like, the main thing in this movie is like, oh, my God, this guy, this Chucky, who used to be a guy. Charles Lee Ray, you were told. He's going to eventually try to put his soul. into this little boy Andy's body and it's like who cares if you you're gonna die anyway

you might as well die as a child what I've had this theory for a while okay this argument before but shockingly I can't remember what the point is I'm just saying that's the fucking end so who cares about anything like when you get older things are tougher it's better when you're just saying you're all getting lights out yeah when does it matter when the curtain closes. Hey man, whatever fucking puts you to sleep at night, dude. Were he starting a philosophy class here?

Yeah. Okay. They're loving it. So he's running around this toy store. He's looking like a fucking rejected reservoir dog. He does, Steve, you had the line like verbatim, but the delivery is just ridiculous. It's like, oh, God. I'm dying.

Mr. Fuchsia. Yeah And he's like All right I'm gonna fucking put my I was actually Because I didn't see This movie in a while

Like he's He's like falling into all These like bloody dolls And he's knocking all these toys over Man He's bleeding all over them I kind of forgot the lightning thing I thought that like

The shitty manager was like We can still sell these He just dusted off It's fine All this dolls are right Just got a little blood on it Don't worry about it It would discount it

10% Just for you Yeah just a little with a little doll discount. Get that blood off its face. Or maybe you keep the blood on its face. It's like, oh, this dog got in a fight. It's just some entrails on a pound puppy.

Come on. Instead, they eventually buy the doll from this derelict pushing a carton full of... The pushing like a shopping cart full of garbage. Yes. Which was the original eBay. Yeah, so he grabs one of the Chuckies. He starts doing his

His voodoo curse. Now, can I just stop you for a hot second? Please do. Steve Seda. Here I am. I am at the movie theaters in the great year of our Lord 1988. And I'm like, oh, child's play.

I've seen the commercials on the television for that. Sure, let's go check this out. At no point. At no fucking point in the coming attractions, the popcorn dancing, the ridiculous opening credits that we have in this movie. Am I expecting at any point?

A voodoo ritual to go on. Yeah. And how dare you, movie? How dare you just throw that in my face? It's not even a confident voodoo ritual. No, it's fucking amateur hour. He's like, Jambala, I beg of you. Dude, come on.

Please do it. You're looking really desperate right now. Dumbala, I'm in a bit of a jam here, man. I'm fucking dying here, Timbalah. Just tell me what you want me to fuck. Timbala, I will suck your dick. Look, Dumbala, I know I screwed up a lot of, of the words to this curse, and I know it's

supposed to be exact, but come on, let's do it. You know what I'm trying to do, Timbalah. Close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and voodoo curses. That's what a football coach told me one time. That's verbatim what that dude told me. So he puts his soul in this doll, and, like, Chris Sarandon is walking

around this toy store again. Like, it's a fucking, like, on the airport. He's like, where is this coming from? I'm like, it's right there. screaming in the room you are in. I love when he, like, when the motivation strikes,

you see the epiphany that this dude has because he's like, he's bleeding out, he's going to die, this cop is cold on the trail in this fucking 30 by 30 department store, right? And he falls over and he knocks a bunch of these dolls on the ground and he sees him when he looks

at it and it's like, say you know, I've been trying to an excuse to use this voodoo soul transferers. This doll might do the drink. It would be cool if it was like an RCA car that came to life. That'd be fun. Oh, way and then dude, you know what? Better movie than Pixar's cars. Yes. Get that

Owen Wilson out of here. I mean, that's a great point because also this is like a realistic toy story. Right? That movie toy story? Yes. Oh, that movie toy story? Those things are fucking killing. Yeah, exactly. Oh, what would happen? What do you think your toys get up to? It's fucking

terrifying. That's what a guy they got up to. You do not want to walk in on Mr. Potato Head late at night. No, for several reasons. Are you ever to hear their tiny little mouths whisper while you're sleeping? Let's kill them. Little breaths right now. Little breaths

everywhere. The little breaths on your neck while you're sleeping. Or like if it was like one just like burped. Oh God. Just I mean like because breathing is one thing you could be like what is that the wind but a burp that is unmistakable. Hey Barbie, hey Bobby, want to climb in his mouth with me? And it gets even worse because, like, Legos are just their droppings, and they're reselling these things?

Wait, who's droppings? The toys. Toys shit, Legos. I had no idea. Wow, you learn something new every day, dude. That's in Toy Story, too. Yeah, that's it. Oh, I see.

That's why they say that's the best one. It's the director's cut. Who do you think is more surprised by this lightning bolt? Braddor for Chris Sarandon. Driss Rand is like, what the fuck? And Brad Durrower's like, holy shit, it worked. Oh my God, really? I think it's got to be Brad Durf because he, I feel,

is well aware that this is amateur out. Yeah. He is just throwing out this curse, hoping it fucking sticks to the wall. And when it works, he's like shit in his dead pants. But apparently he's been like taking voodoo classes, like it's improv classes. He's in like 301 and he took like he missed a couple classes. He has to take it again.

Oh, sorry Braddur, if you've been out. out of the improv system for six months, you're gonna take your voodoo one-on-one all over again. We're just gonna need one hex from the audience to get it started tonight. Look, you're gonna have to learn hex and again, just from the beginning, all right? It's somehow less of a cult than actual improv is.

So anyway, this lightning comes down and the toy, okay, there's two options here. It's magic lightning, I thought. Magic lightning. It's similar to, if you haven't had the chance to enjoy this movie, It's like the clouds above Dana Barrett's apartment in the first ghost posters.

We lifted it the fuck from that movie. There's two options for this explosion. Either Linda Hamilton built the T2 bunker underneath it or micromachines now come with real gasoline. Can you imagine? It's like a Rambo explosion. It's humongous. Chris Sarandon should be gone.

It is an explosion that has no business in a low-budget horror film. I will tell you right now. Yeah, the new Skeletor is out. He's got kerosene all over him. In the 80s, I would totally believe that that was a thing. Oh, my God. Are you kidding me? Absolutely, dude. Yeah, slip and slide. Gasoline. It's what they did when they tried to clean up parts of the Exxon Valdez, dude.

They just dipped a bunch of toys in it. Exactly. So it blows up, and that's kind of like the end of it. And then we cut to the next morning, and Andy is baking his mother the world's worst breakfast. And this is, you know, I think it's very appropriate that we're doing this on Father's Day because I have a thought today re-watching the film parents in a lot of ways

and the good ones, not the shitty ones, but the good parents are really the world's best actors. Because any time a kid is doing something like this and you're like a good parent, you don't want to like fuck your kids up irreparably, it's like, oh, this is a great breakfast. You just have to lie to these children

every fucking day. Oh, this is a great drawing. this breakfast is edible and you know in the front of your brain always is what is this shit but you can't do it you just got to hold it. You stupid idiot! And he makes so much of it.

It's like the start of Phantom thread. He's just like, yeah fruit loops with scoops of sugar and fresh milk and a pot of Lansing tea and bacon and scones and oh burnt to a crisp with a giant ball of Crisco

in the middle of it. I wanted to throw them fuck up, dude. It's like an ice cream scooper full of Crisco. I believe up to a point she would act nice when she receives his breakfast, but one thing is off here. All the shit he makes for her that she will never eat,

he forgets the coffee. This kid's going out the window. Much like Aunt Maggie, he is going out the window. Stupid idiot. Yeah. And also, and this is like the trope in all of these movies. It's like a child is attempting to make a breakfast for an adult, and they're always, like, burning this toast,

like they threw it at the sun. That means that the adult who last used the toaster just left it on the fucked-up sick setting that nobody uses. Or is the kid like, oh, this toast, I guess it's medium well, but she likes it a little well done, maybe. Let's just do a little longer, and they'll flip it.

No child has ever put that much thought in the toast ever. I think they did okay on the Charlie Brown incredibly sad Thanksgiving episode. Oh, don't even get me started, dude. Let's just eat toast at a barren field on Thanksgiving. Fuck you, Charlie Brown. I'm getting sad just thinking about it. Oh, in Charlie Brown, we got some burnt toast here in this field,

a couple of jelly beans. This will make you not hate your life forever, right? That's actually, you know, that scene in Les Miserables or Anne Hathaway sings that really powerful song while crying? When she's like in that coffin yucking it up? She's just yucking it up in that coffin, and they were watching that special. Like, that was on, and she just started to be, oh, my God.

Those peanuts, man, they had a brutal life. Thank God they're all long dead. Wasn't Laymiss also directed by Tom Holland? Yes, they were all directed by Tom Holland. Yeah, burnt toast is terrible. I'd rather have it raw. I don't know, dude. Bread, you mean?

Yeah. Okay. Interesting. You just want to eat some bread, dude. That's what that is. Do we have some raw toast for the tape? so is this shithead's birthday he's watching the good guy's cartoon this is this is

I think Steve you pointed this out the most bone-chilling image in the film oh it's a little cartoon like it's a done by Ruby Spears so it feels really like accurate at the time is who now Ruby Spears I thought he said Britney Spears no no it was not done by Britney Spears the company behind like Alvin and the chipmunks

and so on and so forth that kind of thing like Care Bears and whatnot maybe I think so, yes, sure. It's even more toxic than Brittany. Oh, Jesus. You know what, man. Hey, man, I didn't bring her up. They like it.

He's a good guy. He's a star. Listen, people cheer for Gallagher, all right? So don't let that get to your head. Her father should be sent to prison, that guy. Gallagher's dad? No, Britney Spears. What do he do?

Oh, he's just a fucking monster. Oh, really? Should we leave and go get him? Go get him. go whatever to fucking... We're rolling out to kill Britney Spears' dad. This guy's got it coming.

I'm the flavor strangler and I'm coming into your town to murder. He is a fucking flavor strangler. Do you ever eat that food? Strangles that flavor to death. There's barbecue sauce all over his neck. It's the flavor spangler again. California, get away from there.

There's barbecue everywhere. He's been drowned in donkey sauce. Oh, no. I've been shot. Emerald. I beg of you. Put me into this pancake. Bam! Now you're in a pancake. Remember that guy at a television show?

No, it's just a pancake moving around like a slug. Oh, yeah. I've got to... With like that maple syrup trail. Hard question mark here, better movie? Yeah, kind of. Possibly. The creeping pancake? I don't know. So you were getting at the cartoon,

but it's also hosted with this interstitial thing with one guy in a giant costume of a good guy doll? Yeah, it's like disgust. It's like this Sweetums-looking motherfucker. Like, he's huge and dangly. It's like if Swetoms was like trying to pass for a human being,

like they did some episode, it's like, oh, Sweetums, we're going to New York City, and you can't look like a monster, man. You don't look like a person. And he put on like a person suit. It's fucking Sweetoms. It's like if a cabbage patch doll did steroids. That's what this thing looks like.

It's abhorrence. it's horrific and it's like you know it's like basically like selling the kid on the toy so he goes in gives his mother the thing and it's Christine Christine Hendricks Catherine Hendricks Catherine Hicks Oh I'm way off

Christine Hendricks was in Madman That's right Yeah she's three years old No And she's Catherine Hicks dude Star Trek for the voyage home and Seventh Heaven

Yeah see both Both parents from 7th Heaven were in Star Trek movies and one of those you could be like oh cool you're in Star Trek and then they're like oh fuck that person was in Star Trek yeah that stinks

huh it does that guy's a real monster yes indeed I think they would get the flavor strangler would get him too yeah after Britney Spears' father go after him I'm liking this already I seriously wish that dude was dead and like so it's like it's his

birthday look up why okay Because you're going to die anyway, and you might as well die now. You're right, dude. I totally forget your logic. Might as well they get strangled by fucking Guy Fiatty. Yeah, that's it. Man, can you imagine him getting his 10 little fucking sausages around your neck?

Oh, and they're all saucy, like drippy and sticky. Oh, no, yeah, he's sweating on you. Like, as you're choking, his sweat is getting into your mouth. This is killer. Oh, that's the line, dude. Well, we know that before he takes each life. He just goes, this is killer. That dude also sucks.

So she is a down on her luck, single mom living. She's a widower. Or a widow, excuse me. She's still a single mom. Yes, but she's also a widow. Sure. She's a single mom because she's a widow. Okay.

They can be both guys. I'm just pointing out her life is horrible, dude. But she lives in a fucking apartment bigger than this theater. If we can't get our kids I mean it's totally fine You can't afford all the crap That your fucking capitalist kids want Sure

But downsize first It's the landmark Brewster Apartments in Lakeview Was she married to one of those dumbass daily Kids What fucking geography report did you do before we came here this evening? It was a five pageer

I did it in two days I'm getting an A plus for this podcast performance Chris has a diorama in the back It's too big, too big And so she's This is the move If you get your kid clothes

It's a shithead move It's got to be in a bag So that the kid can look at that like cool Not interested and then go on to the next president Can I ask you something to Steve real quickly? Yeah Because you said this earlier today Yeah

What kind of a bag are we talking about? Like a little gift bag Oh a gift bag Yeah I don't know like a garbage bag Listen, man, I've known you for fucking almost 20 years, man. I'm thinking, you're thinking garbage bag. But it's this huge box, and he's like, oh, my God, it's the fucking thing. He rips it open.

And there's, like, one pair of cheats in it. This is an outrageous fucking grift right here. This poor child, because the box, it's the exact same size we find out as the good guy doll box. What cruel shit. I expected it to be a thing where it's like, it's the same exact box. Oh, there's a pair of jeans in it. this kid, you know, hates himself, right, and kind of hates her. And then she's like, oh, wait, I forgot about one more present in the back.

The classic parent move, right? Usually save for like a Christmas day kind of a thing. Like, uh-oh, one more box, I forgot about this. That doesn't happen. It's a pack of cigarettes. Smoke up, Andy. Get smoking, Andy. It's five pounds of veal.

Now we're talking, dude. I mean, that's a Chicago Christmas, I think. Uh-oh, I forgot something. Oh, what's that? Oh, it's a drink for a mom. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, go play with your jeans. Go play with your jeans.

Take your jeans to the playground and have fun. I'm going to sit here and smoke your cigarettes. I mean, if he's bringing her that breakfast every week, I think she deserves it. You're right, Kevin. She had it coming. Outrageous, this fucking grift. But she brings out, she's like, oh, here's your real present.

It's a good guy doll accessories. Which again, man, this is another parent move. I got the thing that's the accessory and then the kid goes, but I don't have it. And then you go, uh-oh, here it is. Nope, now you just bought him the fucking hat for no reason. Uh-oh, here it is. It's a nap.

Go down and play with your fucking accessories and your jeans. It's crazy that we let ourselves live through this stuff. We should have rebelled long ago, dude. What is this? That's the crate that the pound puppies come in. Enjoy. No, no, I got you the pound puppies, but they've been gassed because it's the pound. So they're nothing.

They've been burned. Here's a new rug. The 31st day pound puppies? Oh, good Lord. Exactly. I don't know. Pretend they're ghosts. You kids got imaginations.

play with your ghost dogs. I'm gonna go imagine myself up another pack of cigarettes. So he's very disappointed. We cut to, she works in a department store. This is when her friend comes by and she's like, oh, the pet, and she says the peddler? Like, he's like a Batman villain.

Oh no, the peddler struck again, he's out back. Robin, he sold them a bill of goods. He stole another bag of garbage. I think this is the movie that we should you know like outsource this

see what the internet can kick back sure this may be the screenplay with the most uses of the word peddler yeah it's possible just call him a hobo or the guy's back there he's got it like that you know who the guy it's mostly cigarettes and dead cats

but it just so happens to have a good guy doll yeah I got a good guy doll just got a little bit of a voodoo person and you won't even notice it. I already dust it off the blonde, all right? That dead cat you order just came in. Come on. Come on in. You still want this empty paint can?

I've been holding it for you. Look, I just robbed a hoarder's house. I got a ton of dead cats in here. Would you like 50,000 pounds in newspapers? Dating back to the Kennedy assassination? But we don't have the one with the Kennedy

assassination on it. No, it just dates back to it, but not that one. You really won't understand the assassination if you don't read the events leading up to it. Do you think that is, let me ask you this, most common hoarder death, being crushed by

your own newspaper? Crush by a pile of newspapers? No, I think it's breathing in rat feces. It's a lot of it. You can do that for a couple months, but after like month nine, you're in trouble. After month nine, then those fumes really start getting your brain cells.

And so she's like, she's haggling with this dude, she buys it, she's super excited, even though, you know, it must smell like fucking charred death. Well, it came out of a fucking incinerated toy store, of course it does. And it's also been hanging out with the peddler, too. Oh, right, the pedd

scent on top of everything. Yeah, exactly. Wow, it smells like a charred murderer. It's all in the hair. Robin, we can, oh, we smell him coming. It's cat litter in the box Just take it Just take it Kind of want this Batman case, dude

You're selling me hard on this Adam Wells Batman case So she has to work That night because it's like Everything goes wrong for me today kind of situation Well this is one of those things where I'm like What is going on? What is the timetable here? Because she is at work

She works at this department store right It's like the middle of the night And I'm like, how late is this department store open? What are we doing? And her friend is like, I could do it. He's like, oh, no, you work shoes. This is perfume. She's fine.

Yeah, she's fine. Yeah. What, okay. Yeah, what size are you? Does that shoe fucking fit? Great. All right, cool. Do you like this smell?

Fantastic. It's a sale. Exactly. And she's literally like, come on, man. It's my son's birthday. And it's like, no, no, no, dot. Capitalism first. Tut, tut, tut.

You must sell these shoes. And they talk, like, so Aunt Maggie, what's his name, Mr. Crispy. Yeah, whatever. Mr. Crispy, that's actually perfect. Mr. Crispy. I think it's Chriswell? Criswell? Yeah, I think that's right. That's somebody from something else, I think.

Thank you. So, he's like, you have to stay after today. I know it's your son's birthday, and you've got this stinking piece of shit here. He's like, I heard about that breakfast he made you, though. Why do you want to go back to that apartment? And Aunt Maggie is, like, trying to get the thing

and he's like, no, no, no. And she's like, William! Let her go. And you just can tell the first date that these two went on that went terrible. It was a bad first and only date. He made a move way too early and it was really, really out there. Yeah, it was like, I'm going to reveal my foot fetish to you at lunch. That is a fucking date seven, my friend.

Exactly. You got to wait for that. Date seven or later to flash that foot fetish. I noticed you wore a sandal to this lunch, which means I've prematurely adjacent. ejaculated. Will you excuse me I have to go to the bathroom? Pardon me, I just spotted a mule on your foot.

Pardon me, miss, do you know that you're dangling and you don't even know it? Those are weird dudes, man. But in any event... Dangle watchers. Yeah, don't watch you dangling. That's like a new reality show in A&E, I bet.

We're rolling out, looking for danglers. They don't even know we're coming. Robin, the the danglers got us to get into a... A toe jam. Oh, my God. I am dead. I am fucking dead, dude.

Eric, that was corny. Oh, fuck you. Stop it. I like it. I like it. Busting my bunions. You put your foot in your mouth with that one, right? Come on.

No, nobody cares about me. I'm going to hammer toe the both of you to death. So, Aunt Maggie goes to babysit Andy, and, oh, I'm sorry, she gives Andy the doll. He's super excited, right? Well, she gets, yeah, she gets like a 75-minute reprieve from this fucking department store. And the weird thing is, like,

this kid who's playing Andy is pretty okay, but, like, he does one thing well, which is be really sad. It is, listen, this kid is in another movie, man. It's fucking heartbreaking to watch this guy. I can't even stand it. Here's your sad breakfast. Oh, it's all right.

Right, mom. This pair of jeans, I guess, was all you could afford. I understand. I'm going to call these jeans Chuckie. Hi, Chuckie. These jeans make me think of my dead, dad. He wore jeans, too. If I pull down the zipper and make the jeans go like this, it's like they're talking to me. Oh, my God, haunted jeans. Oh, man, Toy Story 5. Give me the boy. Dude Toy Story 5, Jeansy, man. Here's the thing. I've heard that there's some good things

coming out about that toy story for. I got to tell you, the Forky, that's just lazy. Sure? It's about as lazy as you can get, and it's going to make a billion dollars. That's the greatest trick the devil ever pulled, by the way. Nothing compared to Jeansy. Well, Genzy is quite horrifying.

Disney needs the money, relax. True, true, true. Yeah, they're helping all those orphans. So, Aunt Maggie comes to babysit. Mom is away, and the woman's putting Andy to bed. And, like, Chuckie is just shown to be a regular doll at this point. Except for one thing that didn't carry out into a lot of the sequels. And I'm sorry to interrupt this, but the tan on this doll.

And you saw it a little bit in that preview. This doll was left in the microwave a little. It was flesh fried by a fucking lightning bolt. Oh, you're right. Yeah, it lived through the end of Independence Day. We didn't quite touch on that lightning bolt, but it's particularly stupid. The news is on, and something about his accomplice, and, like, the doll kind of shifts its head a little bit. And that's kind of, you know, like, the weird thing is, like, this movie's almost creepy, but not creepy enough.

It's not like that Annabelle kind of level creepy. Oh, she's creepy. Yeah, she's creepy. Yeah. I saw that one where she was in the nunnery. That was creepy. Oh, did she, like, get pregnant? She had to go become a nun and then, like...

No, it's like this weird thing where this family was like, oh, we've got to stay this nunnery for a little bit, and someone found this doll out in the shed. Oh, shed dolls. Shed doll, dude. Turned out to be Annabelle. That's why you burn it. That's why you burn it.

Just burn those toys, dude. Burn all the toys. And the kid is like... Andy... Chuckie wants to watch the news, and it's like, the fuck. are you talking about? Go to bed. No, nobody's watching the news.

No, you won't be informed. Get to bed. Chucky wants to stay up for Letterman. Chuckie just wants to see the top ten. That's all I begged to stay up for, man. Once that top ten was done, I was going to sleep. So the kid is brushing his teeth, as he's told to, and Chuckie runs out and puts the news back on

to find out about his accomplice. And, like, the woman's like, what is this about? I like how Chucky just thought he was going to get away with it. He's like, and I, you know, it's, what is his name, Charles Lee Ray? Yeah, sure. You know, like it's his first day on the job as a haunted doll. Yeah.

You know, he doesn't know all the ins and outs, up and downs, and the what have yous. There's no haunted doll orientation for sure. No, he didn't grow up watching Annabelle. I mean, I guess he could have seen a couple of them Twilight Zone episodes that did this exactly and better. and I'm more classically remembered but so she gets pissed she sends a kid to bed

and like Chucky is like I can't believe I couldn't have watched the fucking news I'm going to kill this woman and bring all this heat down on me a doll then I can watch the news whenever I want step one kill babies hitters

step two turn on the news yep Chucky invents CNN So, you know, we get kind of a back-and-forth thing. There's some fake phone scares, and he takes his... You mean there's a fake phone scare? Well, there's a phone call. Everything's creepy. I get fucking terrified when the phone rings, dude.

Oh, yeah. Are you kidding me? In 2019, a ringing phone? A ringing phone? A knock on the door? Dude, God, that will turn your hair white. A knock on the door, fucking forget it. I'm calling the police because someone knocked on my door.

That's like, kill yourself in a horror movie. If someone knocks on my door, I am thinking about it. I'm not a big fan of when you're... Phone calls, me either. No, well, when you're doing delivery and the guy's calling you instead of ringing the fucking bell, like, that's the point. Ring the bell.

You got the number. It's right there. Just ring it. I know that buzzer's not busted. Or, what's worse, the dude gets in the building because someone was coming out when he was on the way in.

It does not do the courtesy buzz, takes it upon themselves, walk up the stairs and knock on the fucking door. I'm shit in my pants. I'm waiting for Thai food, but I'm shitting my pants. Why is everything the telltale heart in your house? Guy shows up, but he's showing up doing like a cop knock and I'm high to the ever-loving hell.

You ordered pizza. That's what he's there for. But I forgot. Life comes at you fast, dude, and I'm fucking high as balls as it is and don't knock on my door. Fair enough. Fair enough. That's all, man. So...

So she's furious about the television again. No, she grabs this little hammer, this little accessory hammer, which has to be plastic. And he hits her on the head with all the force of a little doll person. Like, how strong is this dude? Is he benched? Yeah, exactly. Well, that's the thing that is...

And I've seen exactly three Chucky movies. Yeah. Right? This one, the third one, previous episode, and bride of Chucky coming soon to a podcast near you. And in all of those, it's the same thing where It's like, how strong is this thing? Because at some points, it's like,

he's the strong as the man would be. And at other points, people are like, and fucking kicking him through the uprights. You know, it's one or the other. Oh, you guys didn't hear it. He said Hadukin. Oh, of course. She gets knocked out this window

like Schwarzenegger punched her out of it. I couldn't believe it. Hey, your eye is here. Going down. Yeah, exactly. And, you know, to this, This movie thinks it's being fucking scary, man, but I will tell you something that shit is funny as well. It's amazing.

This woman goes out this window, we were hooting and hollering. Oh, and when she hits that truck, it's nice. It's a nice lethal weapon truck hit. Yes, exactly. We get that crush and all the glass goes everywhere. It's beautiful. It's a good truck fall. The mom comes up, and unfortunately, like, she is such a nice lady.

She gets off the bus, she got a big book. She's waving goodbye to the bus driver. Which again, man. Oh, I am sad as shit. You're waving goodbye to the bus driver. How many friends do you have? Goodbye, Mr. Bus driver. See tomorrow. Same time.

Same bus stop. Well, her fucking one friend is dead, so might as well start making friends with the bus driver. Now she has exactly one other friends. That bus driver doesn't know it yet. Ooh, I moved up in the rankings. Now I'm getting waved at. Do you want to make a pot roast for me?

I'm babysitting your kid. We're rolling out. Me and my friend, driving a bus. She comes to everybody's worst nightmare. It's this fucking police all over the fucking place. Now, this was in the trailer. Did anybody spot what is going on here? Because this woman opens the door,

the police are everywhere, including one officer, who is sitting there with a fucking feet up on the coffee table. Oh, CPD. Yeah, active crime scene. This is technically a police house now, so... Yeah, we're trying to relax. Oh, wait. Wait, this isn't the break room?

I mean, this crime scene is minutes old. This guy literally just came in, opened the newspaper, and crossed his legs. Is this coffee ready yet? Or what? Oh, yeah, somebody died in your house. I'm putting out cigarettes on your carpet, doll. It's fucking outrageous behavior.

She's freaking out. Chris Sarandon is, like, interviewing her kid, which will creep me out anyway. And he explains to her what happened, but he's like, I think there's something fishy going on in this house because there's little doll footprints in the flower. Again, it's his first day on the job as a haunted doll, dude. He's fucking up left and right, but everybody makes mistakes.

It's hard starting a new job. And he's like, I think it was your kid that what pushed her out the window, but I'd be like, I don't know, measure these kids' feet, doll feet, kid feet. Wait a second. Could you do that again, please? Doll feet, kid feet. All right, just checking. All clown shoes.

Yeah, make sense. Here's my freak child with his creature from the Black Lagoon feet. Oh, look at these feet. I'm so. We're going to have to call in the doll police.

This clear was not a child. The doll police. Nice, dude. You got it. Great minds. So, like, he's like, something suspicious. You get out of my house.

Could that guy stop eating a sand in my kitchen, please? Hey, is the pizza here yet? This broad's dead. I hope it isn't knock. That'll drive me crazy for some reason. I'm a cop and I'm high as fucking balls over here. Don't knock on that door. Oh, God. Sanker? This is all you got for me?

Man, classic 80s complaint of only having Sanker. This entertainment weekly is weeks old. What the fuck? One plight toilet paper? Excuse me, madam. Hey, I'm trying to stay in. informed here in this apartment, you've got

newspapers dating back to the Kennedy assassination, but not actually the Kennedy assassination. Can you not mess with my dead cats, please? So, as everybody's leaving, Andy comes out and he's like, oh, I know who was on the counter, it was Chuckie, and I was like,

and he's like, you're a doll? I was like, yeah, my little doll did it. She's like, stop making up stories, you know, one of those situations. Well, that's it. Lock this kid up. He's a danger to society. They do. They put him behind bars. Yeah, they kind of take this kid downtown. Robin, we're taking

him to Baby Arkham. We go to Baby Arkham, and it's fucking... We're rolling out to Baby Arcombe. Joker Jr. just pulled off a major bank heist. We're roasting up a crispy doctor. You just got a taste.

Is this lobster sauce? No, that's gruel. That's just gruel. Oh, I thought it was lobster sauce. Excuse me. This sad kid brings his doll to school the next day. You know what, folks, here's the thing. If you have children

who are reaching, like, you know, school age where they can bring things in, don't let them be the kid who is bringing toys to school. It's, they will be fucking totally bullied, made fun of, and guaranteed the toy that you spent your hard-earned money buying for that child will be broken.

Yeah, and they will destroy it. They will be so traumatized by the events that the best they could do in life is to become podcasters. Yikes. I haven't gotten over that fucking headless Ninja Turtle, man. Wants me to this day. And he's like, oh, Andy, let's go fucking kill my accomplice.

And he's like, good idea, Chuckie. And here's like a great opportunity for this movie to be like a little bit eerie and they just totally fuck it up. Because the doll is like whispering to him, just make that little jaw move. Yeah. Just make it.

I don't even need to hear like a pspspsps. It just make it move. Do anything to make this. movie, this slightest bit creepy. No, take the blue line towards O'Hare and then get off at Chicago. You know what? They changed this system. I don't even know what to

do here, Andy. I really do want to book report, man. I need Yes. But I want to see how they get there. You see a little kid walking down the highway or whatever? I think he's staying off major roads, dude. They got all these weird alleys in this city.

He takes the trade to Bumtown, man. Oh, right. He does get out of the train. You're absolutely right. Yeah, no, it's very weird. And, like, he's, like, right outside of this fucking shack where this guy is held up in. Yeah, it's like this big crack house. It looks just like our Airbnb. Man. It's true.

Let's just say we rolled out of that last night into a fucking hotel. There were rats. There were rats. There were rats where we were staying. There were rats, folks. I messaged the guy. I'm like, look, there's a rat in the Airbnb, and he messages back, like, oh, I'm sorry. so sorry. Do you have a picture of the rat? I'm like, no. I didn't step in front of a fucking step and repeat with the rat and took a picture next to him.

Mr. Rizzo, will you hold still for a second? Chee-chee! That's fucking criminal, dude. I hope this guy goes to Airbnb jail. Is that like a Supermax prison on the moon? It should be.

Shoot this fucker into the sun, man. Anyway, this kid's taking the subway downtown. He goes to take a piss, and we get, like, Chuckie Vision, go inside this guy's house. He knows that this guy is a nervous Nelly with his gun, so he, like, runs the gas in the house. Right. And this guy just starts firing wildly in his own home. I thought I heard gas.

I thought I heard a knock at the door. I'm high as fuck right now. So he explodes. He explodes real good. Twice, twice now, explosions inappropriately placed in horror films. Well, I think they were like, ah, shit, we got all these fucking explosions left out of from Commando. You want to use them in that Child's Play movie? Yeah, I heard you used some of my leftovers in your stupid doll movie.

Congratulations, it was terrific. What do you mean, you cut out all the Chicago scenes from Commando? Yeah, I went to Chicago. I wired this Bum's house to explode. And then they said, what are you doing? Get back to the set. Yeah, so it turned out Child's Play. We wound up running about 65 minutes.

We use some scraps from Commando. We beef out that runtime. Could you give me the boy, please? Who is your daddy and what does he do? Come with me if you want to be in live forever, dog. So this dude's dead. That house is in ruins. The police pick him up immediately. A, they realize that the charred body is this dude Eddie,

and clearly they find Andy there. So they're sweating this kid out in a fucking, like, kid interrogation room. There's this like meatball-eaten fucking guy with the mustache. This guy's great. This guy's, he is exactly one step away in either direction from one prop comedy or

pornography. Yes. Either you choose your path, pal but it's not the motion pictures. Maybe he could be like a trailblazer and combine them because why don't we have funny pornography, right? It's a good point. I mean, it's probably out there. Yeah, it's probably out there. It's probably been invented.

I can get it up, Mark. Gallagher for erections. Instead of busting watermelons, he's busting nuts. Yep. You would want to wear a rain jacket in that scenario. Either way, you're right,

a poncho is involved. Sorry, front of the audience. Yeah! That's not Lobster Bisk. I'm wearing this now because I'm embarrassed by you. Good. So they're interrogated. this kid, this is when the mom

comes in and she's like, what the fuck? Interrogation has started before the parents arrived. Shocking. That's what fucking Charles Lee Ray should have told this kid's like, look, if the cops come and grab you, they don't have any right to talk to you. You say, am I being detained?

And can I speak to a lawyer? These are the things you have to say in all situations. I watch law and order and I just yelled at. I don't care if the guy's a child molester or whatever. You've got to fucking ask for a lawyer. dude. The delivery guy knocks on the door and I'm like, I want to talk

to my lawyer. Am I being detained? Out of context, quote, pull, dude. I don't care if this guy is a child molester, Stephen Sadey. I'm just yelling at my TV no matter what. So when you get a phone call in the middle night, are you also

saying that? Yes. Because I'm not talking anybody, dude. Fuck it. So this kid, it's recommended that he has a stay in a facility, a cuckus nest-esque facility. With bars on the windows and doors. Well, it's for children.

But they show, like, they show it later. Like, there's this children, like, lining the halls huddled up, and I'm like, what fucking facility is this? It reminded me of, I believe, this is another Brad Dura film, The Exorcist 3. Okay. You see a crazy fucking place

in that movie. Pretty similar, man. People just sitting on the floor, no rooms for everyone. But I think this child hospital really is a kill shelter. Oh, he's got 30 days or he's in real trouble. He'll be like your pound puppies. I think it's where H.H. Holmes used to live, dude. Local legend.

See, I can do it too, Chris. Local legend, yeah, shout out to the good doctor. They have shock treatment in this fucking... They got it all, dude. They got it all. At the ready. So, Catherine Hicks, did I get that right? The mom.

Yeah. Hendricks. Hendricks. No. Hicks. No, you fucked it up. God damn it. Someone knows.

Someone knows the right answer, right? It's Hicks. It's Hicks. She takes the doll home from the cops. First of all, that doll is definitely evidence if this kid's whatever. Oh, absolutely. Dust that thing. It's in a giant garbage bag.

Just for safekeeping. Oh, shit, Andy. I didn't think this one through. He suffocates to death. That's a great question. Your trials in seven months. Wait a second. That's a great question.

Is this doll breathing oxygen? I don't know. It has to, because it gets a human heart at some point. Like, regrows organs, and in the sequels, we know it's having fucking sex. It's squirting. It's not a bump. It grows genitalia. This is true.

Eric's telling truth. And I want that voodoo spell. And also, much like Sonic the Hedgehog, it grows teeth. Real teeth. She discovers that it's a fucking monster doll, right? No, she lenses the hard way, dude. There's no batteries, and he just starts biting her. And I'm like, that's scary.

Little doll teeth coming at you? There's ways also to execute this sequence of her realizing the doll didn't get the batteries ever put in it. But they just, like, totally fucking out. She's just like, oh, batteries. Wait, what? You know, if a doll started biting me, I'd just be like, hey, knock it off. Well, then the next time a full moon comes up, you would turn into a doll.

Oh, no. Oh, doll man. Dude, wear doll. I love this idea. Wear doll. Yes, wear doll. Are your hair starts falling out? Fake hair starts coming in.

Wait, maybe that's what happened to the Toy Story guys. Maybe there should be a prequel. Yeah. That's what happened to Jeremy Piven. He was bit by a doll. And he was bald and then he got all this hair. Right. I can't move my hand suddenly.

It's all coming together. Also, Joey pants, too. Also got bitten by a doll. You're saying this with all these. actors that are kind of good, but you imagine it's being a toy story. This happens to Tim Allen. Oh, that'd be great. Ruff, rough, rough. My hand is freezing.

Better steal some more coke before it's too late. Rough, rough, rough. That dude sucks. That dude said, am I being detained? Can I talk to my lawyer? By the way, here are all of my accomplices. And so, like, she's trying to grab the dog

She's like, oh, cool, this is going to get my son out of the fucking nut house. The doll, like, takes the elevator out of the house. I love that he knows enough to take the elevator, but I need the thing of him jumping up there to press the button. Come on. He just goes in as another lady, three, please. She's running out of the apartment. Oh, Chucky bit me.

Forrest Gump joke for no reason. Sure. Well, I'd like to see that. He runs out to the cold night. She goes up to the doc, to Chris Saran. She's like, oh, my God, this doll is alive. You've got to let my kid go. Because look, this doll bit me, I'm like, I don't know,

what do you got a rabbit at home? Get out of here. You are crazy, lady. Good night. Listen, lady, it's 9 p.m. The last showing of Ernest saves Christmas. It's going on right now, and I haven't seen it yet. Leave me at peace.

She goes back to Bumtown to find the peddler. Dude, she's playing, guess that hobo? fucking America's fastest growing quiz sensation she's looking around like the docks are like under this bridge or whatever's going on and she's like are you no no wrong peddler

are you at no oh wrong peddler there she's like going up to people being like no no the teeth weren't good or whatever like she's like describing it again well why don't you just say he didn't have a home oh you're looking for the peddler no I'm the dangler no no that one only has two hats

there was three hats on this one I'm the dangler Oh, that got me. So she finds him, he tries to sexually assault her, and then Chris Randon saves the day, kind of, sort of. He runs, and he...

He does, actually, this was great, did not, again, did not expect this from a horror film. He fucking needs this dude, right in the nuts. Yeah, dude. Great fucking ball trauma. I love it. Who else wants to party? And one guy's like, yeah, I'll get kicked him.

I'm not sure. Yeah, no, that's my thing. Come over here. Can me write the fucking balls. Do it. No, I want to party. Why doesn't anybody come to my parties anymore Where I just need people in the groin

Hey listen you asked I answered Kick me in the fucking dick Well I want that too but could you make it more of a stomp I'll lie down first could you just really pop those suck No we have no time for stomping dude It's fucking kneeing in the nuts or get out of here All right you look like a school teacher Yeah this'll work all right all right

What and why Everyone likes stuff There's a thing for a thing for a everyone, man. He finds out that the doll came from the fucking blowdown toy store and he's like, maybe something's behind this, but probably not. He's also dressed

like fucking the third member of Siskel and Ebert this Tweed jacket. Dude, he's trying to blow this woman off so he can get to the fucking balcony to do a review. Talking about movies. No, earnest save Christmas. Two thumbs up. That's one of the

than superior Ernest films, by the way. This is a quick FYI. It's the godfather of Ernest films, I think. No. Really? No, that's good. That goes to jail. Yeah, no, no, no. Goes to camp.

Because it's the only one that deals with doppelgangers. No, no, no, wait a second. We never, all right, we never do this. We never do this. But. All right. Careful, that's tied to all sorts of shit. You're going to hang yourself.

The tangler got to work on that one. He's tangling. He don't even know it. Dude, I'm giving up. But I want to hear what so Ernest saves Christmas Best Ernest movie I am fucked you

I am fucked No no no no hold on I think I think the next one will do it Ernest goes to jail Wow okay Eat shit I said jail with you Oh you did

Because I said because it's the only Ernest movie that has a doppelganger All right well eat shit anyway Clean the shit out of your ears What would you stop putting it there Scared stupid stupid. Oh, you are wrong. Yeah, that's incorrect. Oh, no. I'm just going to do

this all night. It's going to be cool. You're all going to be at all 3 o'clock in the morning. We're going to get to the bottom of this. Last one, OG, camp. And I love, you know what, we had the foresight to definitely exclude slam dunk Ernest and Ernest goes to Africa because what the fuck are you even fucking doing, Jim Barney? Yeah, all right. So what were either of those, you fucking car salesman, the

became an actor. We're not even talking about the best one, which is obviously Ernest goes to the Hague. Ernest tried at the Hague, dude? Oh, Lord. Hey, Vern, I committed crimes in Kosovo. Oh, fuck. We could have saved that series,

dude. R-I-P-D. Jim Varnie. How funny would it be? Okay, let's say Jim Varnie, as Ernest, hanging out with Slobina-Milosevic, just mixing it up. That'd be fucking great. Hey, Slobodan, I think I walked into the women's bathroom. Ernest, Ernest, Ernest, we are a good friend now, but

Hoover, honestly, you look at the wall, you say, hey, Vern, what the fuck you talk about? Ernest, listen, we are a good friend now, but I receive video Christmas card from you dressed up as a woman pretending to be owned mother. Ernest, it is clearly you, my friend, dressed up as old woman wearing pearl necklace. This man is so twisted that I must make him part of my captain of the Death Squad. And then it turns really dark for Ernest. That's him over a bunch of corpses. Hey, Vern, I was just following orders.

Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. What's the matter, Vern? he in Mass Grave before? Poor fucking Vern, man. Why was he on all those adventures? So anyways, Chris Sarandon is driving away and this is when Andy

because Andy, Chuckie wanted to get before he died, he's like, I'm going to get even with you and I'm going to get even with Eddie. So he got even with Eddie. Sure did with the help of Arnold Schwarzenegger. He tries, this is what he tries to strangle him. The strangler finally fucking doing the thing that we're

hold he does. It's about fucking time. Man. Well, there's that, but first after that, that fails and then he tries to slice open his gooch. Yeah. With this night. Wow, yeah. I did not anticipate taint trauma in this movie.

If I'm driving and there's a butcher knife coming at my genitals, I'm just going to pull this right on. Let me put on the old hazard lights here and just going to pull over. Yeah, it's great. Oh, Martha, I think someone, I think that man's a trouble A little doll is trying to stab his dick.

Should we pull over and help him? No, the doll's just shaving his pubes, sonny. Shaving a haircut. But yeah, this is another movie from a scene from an action movie. There are very few instances where it's acceptable in a horror film for a car

to roll over like this. I don't understand why they felt it necessary to have this fucking stunt budget for this. It's a movie about a doll that kills. people. Yeah, we also bought some B-Row from 48 hours. It was real cheap. Actually, it was another 48 hours.

Oh, God damn this doll's trying to kill people all over. San Francisco! Oh, God damn it. Chuckie's on the rock. Yeah, most of the budget got for Nick to come in and do some voiceover work for us. Dude, Nick

Melty is the original voice of Chuckie. Could you even imagine? Give me the fucking boy. God damn it. You're Bella, I beg of you. No, I'm not going to do any fucking food here. Andy! Instantly a better movie, and a more well-remembered franchise. Scary as fuck.

You could just not even have the doll. Just have Nick Nolte running around. You have a fucking doll! Here's this, you shrink him to doll side. Oh, Gandalf. Do some Gandalf shit? Yes, exactly. Yeah, dude, now we're talking. Now this is a motion picture.

I don't stop you're the tail. I slept at a rat-infested B&B, but I slept in it. I'm not sleeping a night. It's just a little Nick Nolty. I love it. Stab your fucking tete! So in this scuffle, Chris Sarananin.

The scuffle, that's what we call it. I love that. Doll scuffle. He fires, he shoots a Chucky, and Chucky goes back. It's kind of a great shot. And he realizes, oh, shit, I can get hurt. So he goes to his teacher at this. crooked voodoo school or whatever.

This dude in the credits is like named Dr. Death. Not once is that revealed in the film. No. I cannot stand when credits take liberties like that. Like just because the screenplay said a thing. Yeah. If it's not uttered in the film, he's just the guy, man. His name is John. He's like, Hey, John.

Oh, right, yeah, it's just John. That's fine. They go to... John Death, he's got a doctor. Oh, John Death. They go, Catherine Hicks. and Chris ran to go to Charles Lee Ray's apartment and it's fucking weird.

It is very weird. It's like the three-minute little baby house but weirdly sexual and with a lot more cultural appropriation. It's like just all these murals all over. And here's the thing. If you have a movie where this dude is a fucking serial killer named the Strangler, and then all of a sudden I'm being surprised

when he fucking cast this spell six and a half minutes into the movie, and then you go to his apartment and there's all these fucking wild mural. and fucking chotchkees all over the place and whatnot. Listen, I need some kind of explanation. There is none given. And I need at least just an attempt at something

as to why this dude gives a shit about what's going on here. Nope. Nothing. And it's just as easy as Brad Duriff, like his character, did time with this dude at one point. And he turned him on to it or something. That's it. That's all it takes. But you cannot do this movie

and not explain that in the side of the first. Fuck you. Why is this guy teaching voodoo to white people to begin with? Great question. No, great question. Nobody's business. No, he's just got one of those, like, papers on a phone pole with little tabs. Oh, yeah.

And Brad Durff took one. We'll teach you voodoo slash guitar lessons. Dr. Death, we'll teach you voodoo. And, yeah, so he goes to confront him. He's like, you know, the spell worked. And first of all, I see this doll talking to me, I'm throwing up. Like, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, right up.

Right up. Fuck it. But I guess this guy's seen some shit. And he's like, look. Well, he is, as we are told, dude, Dr. Death. So he's like, yeah, John, I got hit. I was bleeding last night. Did he, like, go to, like, a little mob doctor that's sewed him up, maybe?

Speaking of Jeremy Piven. Yeah. Dude, yeah, it's like a fucking 24-hour veterinarian. Yeah, exactly. Horse doctor. And he's like, you got to help me. He's like, no, you're an abomination. I mean, this guy's doing a great, it's a great delivery of an abomination.

He's completely right, which is like, why did you teach this guy to begin with? He's a serial killer. Exactly. The worst guy to teach voodoo, FYI. Yeah, no, and maybe it's a thing, like, a bread d'oev, like, ran into, like, rob his house or something, and then, like, they got caught up in it. Again, just any explanation whatsoever. And he's like, look, you're becoming more human, and you're going to have a human heart.

The only way to get out of this situation is you have to reveal it. Well, actually, he starts torturing him, which is the fun part, I guess. Oh, because he's got the little. doll and what not. He's breaking all his legs and stuff. Well, Dr. Jeff says he's like, hey man, if you don't want to be a doll forever, you've got to get yourself into the soul of the

or you've got to get your soul into the body of the first person you revealed yourself to as being a haunted doll. And he's so glad. I was like, thank God I didn't reveal myself to that peddler. I was thinking about it. I was really considering it. Oh man. I almost told that peddler the whole story.

Got the peddler bod. Hey, peddler, you got a minute. I got a, I got a Whopper to tell you. By the way, Dr. Death has a voodoo doll of himself. Sure. And he told the murder pupil he has about where it is. So I think

what happened there was Dr. Death got a really bad splinter and he couldn't get it out. So he's like, all right, I'll use my voodoo to find it. And then he like took it out of the doll and it removed itself. It's not a bad situation. Or to like remove like a headache's going. on or something. Sure, yeah. You know, I don't know.

But don't tell the serial killer where you're holding this thing. Great point. Great point. Yeah, the whole like leg breaking and stuff with the voodoo doll. Can you use voodoo dolls to like, you know, rub that bump a little bit?

Oh, sure. Maybe like give yourself a little pledge. I don't know, man. Can I use that doll the molester toy, probably? If that's what you're asking. I'm just curious. Yeah, you're a real curious guy, dude.

I might start learning. And I want to know what I can do. Uh-huh. Makes sense. So he kills him, and now he's got this cool-ish kind of knife that he's carrying around the rest of the movie, the one with the cool lightning bolt on it. Oh, yeah, that little racing stripe on the knife looks pretty sharp, right?

Yeah, no, it's not too bad. He goes to Spring Andy from fucking Kid Arkham, which is just... Hey, Andy, quick, the bat's coming. Better get out of here. And, yeah, this is when the... Like, in this whole sequence, the doctor... The doctor winds up getting zapped by this fucking electroshop therapy. He's administering to children.

Nicest death in the movie because that guy deserved it. Oh, it's awesome. Yeah, this dude goes down hard. It's so awesome. His face is like just getting charred. It's pretty great. I kind of wanted there to be baby doctors. Oh, yeah.

To do you mean like pediatricians? Or like a baby genius? Well, closer. Well, you're not allowed to have one of those movies unless John Voight's involved. Dude, you don't want to go near that shit. You don't want to do that. All right, you know, like, I think the Chucky, and I know this for a fact,

the Chucky franchise is always trying to get in on the versus attitude. Like, they're like, what if we did Chuckie versus Mike? Bride of Chucky is a fucking pathetic plea for that shit, dude, and it's embarrassing. But Chucky versus Baby Geniuses. Oh, yeah.

Sign me up. Yeah. What was the deal with them there, baby geniuses? They were like aliens or some shit? No, I just think they're baby geniuses. Gotcha, okay, fair enough. Moving on.

It's the sequel to Chernobyl. Two towns over, everybody, all the babies turned into geniuses. Sure. So at Chernobyl, people were fucking melting and their fucking teeth were falling out. But just two towns over. Baby geniuses.

Got it. No, no, no. They are not dead babies. They are baby geniuses. Not dead babies, baby geniuses. Not the genius. Another genius. Look at all this genius teeth I have.

Got to say, not the worst thing in the world. Well, got to go sometime. You got to go sometime. That's right. So he breaks, and he, like, runs out, leaves, and he knows to go home. This is kind of the last act of the movie. Thank God. Yeah, and Chucky comes down the chimney.

He rides the elevator with these old people. I'm like, oh, is he going to kill this old couple? No. And you have to. Come on, movie! You're a moment. movie, you're a fucking horror movie, you're a self-described horror movie. These two

old people that don't mean fucking dittly dick to the rest of this movie, and these two old people insult you in an elevator with nobody else around, kill them. Kill them dead. The problem is it's just, it's a revenge movie. Really? You're right, that's a real problem. It's not a slasher movie, it's a revenge movie, big problem. Because

you imagine, I'm sorry, just like the fucking elevator doors open. All right, let's imagine. Chuckie like saunter's out. Okay, yeah, I'm picturing it. I'm just walking. Yeah, a little walking. And then like, When he moves out of, like, the camera's way,

there's just two fucking dead old people. Yeah. Awesome. I don't even have to see how they're dead. It's just awesome. Because it makes it a fucking horror movie. You know it would be great if they got strangled. That'd be great.

Yes. Living up to his name. That's got a surprise. You live to be 80 years old and you get strangled by a doll. You like beat cancer. You're like, oh, man, this is it for me? This dude's getting strangled by this doll. He's like, I fucking crashed on the beach in Normandy.

Well, like, if you think about it, he should be killing old people because they're more, you know, frail. Easier to... Like, you're a little doll, you got doll weight, you know? Oh, doll weight, yeah, I've heard of that. Which is probably, like, Chuckie probably weighs as much

as a 90-year-old War II veteran. Sure. Sure. So it's an even match. I think the move would have been for this screenplay, right? It's like, listen, Chuckie, like, this is maybe Dr. Death could weigh in a little bit,

but he's like, listen, man, the more souls you take the stronger you will get. Yeah, that'd be great. Right, so then he has to be killing people. This is fucking revenge horse shit. It's Charles Bronson movies with dolls. I hate it.

Hey, Chuckie, Kaboom. That would explain the explosions. Yeah, exactly. Hey, Andy, blamo. I think Charles Bronson was doll size, too. He kind of was close enough to a doll. You need no special effect. He was a living doll, man.

Yeah, if you're going to do a crossover, Death Wish with Jockey. Oh, fuck. So it's like Charles Bronson is a living doll, but for some reason his face is a catcher's bit. I was stuck in the microwave. And you could mash up

the titles of the two franchises while confusing people, and it's just a franchise called Child's Wish. It's a bunch of people going to the theater thinking it's like some heartwarming Jesus shit. And it's Bronson facing off against this fucking doll, dude.

Make-A-Wish, blam-o. And so Chuckie, like, gets into the chimney, which I want to see that entire sequence, but you don't. And how is the, I'm sorry, again, but, like, how do you not, like, this is just a fucking 87-minute string of missed opportunities. How does he not come down this chimney and go, ho, ho, ho.

Yes, the Santa joke was missing. It's just right in front of your dumb fucking face. I don't know how to get onto my own roof. How does this fucking doll know how to get up there? Oh, shit. I got to get a key from the super. Andy, you're going to get it eventually. Oh, shit, he's not home.

I got to wait. Now, oh, could I have a key? I'm not Hercules. I can't give you no key. Hey, Living Doll, I ain't no Hercules here. Hey, Living Doll, that voodoo's not going to work on me. I ain't no Hercules. You think that?

That dude's still with us? No, I think he's long dead. Yeah, right. RIP. For those who do not know, that was an impression of Steve's former Super. Yes.

From 25 years ago. Who used to say he was not Hercules. Oh, no, they knew. That's just common knowledge. So, in any event, Chuckie knocks out, Andy, we do, like,

you can't have anyone go into a slotted fucking closet in any horror movie ever again. Post-1978. Yeah. He goes in there. he knocks him out and he starts doing the voodoo ritual

but the mom and the cop come in just in time and this is when like Chris Sarandon gets like the slightest of cuts on his leg like you cut yourself shaving your legs and he's like oh I'm out of I'm out for the movie guys oh that's it he's like did you do you all recall

one of the greatest things the internet ever gave us the video clip of the woman on the local news where she's trying to stamp those grapes and she fucking falls off the thing that's what Chris Randen is doing for the last 25 minutes of this movie

where like Catherine Hicks is like I guess I'll take your gun and kill the living doll dude you cool you need to take my gun that's fine I've got ibupy amy amoeia I'm bobobobobabobobabobobobobobo I've got ibuprofen is that going to fucking help or what

he's just going through the medicine cabinet while she's being attacked by Chuck and hurt her child. Oh, it's always Thailand all PM. Oh, I don't want to go sleep just yet. It is the smallest cut, and he is done for. Karen, do you have any extra pillows for me to put my leg up on? I've got to get this elevated. So she throws this fucking doll in the fireplace, and Andy burns him up, and the kid has a cool line where, you know, Chuckie tries to, like, you know,

turn it on. I was like, I thought we were friends to the end. And he's like, this is the end, friend. Quite possibly the most fucking baller line ever uttered by a child in cinema. Holy shit. And he blows this fucking doll up. But the doll is going to keep living for 40 more minutes.

Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. It is. Well, I think for 40 more years, I think. Oh, we're getting there. Yeah, you're right. So, yeah, he comes out as a charred little skeleton. we're doing that for a while. Catherine Hicks shoots the fucking doll's head off.

Oh, yeah, the head comes off, a leg goes flying. And also in this, like, we're told he's bleeding, right? We're shown he bleeds earlier in the film. When this arm gets shot off, fluff is everywhere. Make up your mind, movie. He's either turning into a little weird person, red-headed Jack Nicholson doll, or he's still made of fluff, one of the other. And then Catherine Hicks and fucking Andy go into the room where Chris Lerandon is sipping

some warm milk. Ooh, owie, owie. Oh, it's too hot. Oh, oh. And Chuckie, charred hand is coming through saying, give me the boy, and you can go free.

And I'd be like, yeah, here you go. Go right ahead. You know what I had for breakfast a couple days ago? And I mean, not from the thing, I just learned like voodoo is real. It exists. And this doll is unkillable.

Sorry, kid. I'm only 33 years old. I can have another one. Start over. My husband's already dead. Fuck it. I think it would be very smart to let Chuckie.

take over that kid's body because we all know this doll is like unkillable, it's plastic children very easy to kill. That's a good point. Very easy. Oh, this is what you're coming to with the whole, you should just die. You're talking about it in comparison to

sentient dolls. Well, or dolls, too. Those things are tough. So I said, sentient dolls, dude. What? Dolls. Dolls. Kids are easier to kill than dolls. That's what I said. Yeah, that's what I said too. What the hell are you talking about? I don't know, man. I also love, she's just firing this gun

in this apartment building. Like, that old couple is dead, actually, by the way. They're just, like, fucking killed by gunfire. Well, mother, I've warmed up some... Harold? What was that? She's, like, trying to get chucking. She's, like, firing at the ground. I'm like, I don't know, man.

How hard is this? It's a dead thing that's not even moving. So the cops... Mother, there's a bullet in my soup. There is... the cops come in the form of Chris Sarandon's fucking moustachioed partner

and this guy straight off of fucking professionally for eight hours I did a pretty good set I don't think I'm going to have to be a cop for me much longer I met Robin Williams tonight you still think he could be a prop comic

I'm sending him straight to pornography gotcha that's fair no no listen Robin Williams dressed up as Mrs. Downfire in one of these porno movies Not many people know about it. Oh, hello, Dean. She didn't shove her face in a pie, man. You are so bad.

It was a run by Dickin. Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, it was a Bukaki on the run. Well, we did it, dude. Almost 10 years on the air. You finally said Bucocchi. on an episode. That's

fucking fantastic. I bite my lip every week, every week. What an achievement. You do know you're closer to 40 than to 9, right? Yeah. That's why I wish I died at 9. Get back to it. Come is on the way, dear.

Oh my God. So this guy, he comes in and he's like, hey, what the hell happened to you? There's a doll all over the place or whatever. This is way too late in the film for someone to be like, yeah right the doll tried to kill yours and he's like all right look in the hallway but don't touch the doll and he's like exactly do the opposite got it and he grabs the doll head and he's like hey look it's

fucking stupid doll bagaboo bab do and the doll's head can communicate with the body and it's kind of hilarious it's just brad durf being like kill them no keep doing it no you're not no Do it better. And it's just this fried, like, baby terminator, like, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Oh, no, it's liquid plastic. No, turn your hand more towards your left, and then you press and squeeze. It needs to be that, dude. He needs to be giving directional instructions, absolutely.

No, you're just fondling her ear. Thankfully, here, he attempts to strangle this man. Yeah. Fucking finally. Yeah. And Chris Sarandon finally gets off his fucking. Duff and shoots this thing in the heart. Well, you had a nice nap.

Yeah. And he's ready to go now. It's ridiculous, though, because after all the fluff that has just been flying all over this set, Chris Sarandon gets this shot off, and, like, a bunch of fucking cherries fly out of this doll. Yeah, it's pretty good. And it's like, here's this little disgusting dollhard,

just like, just right out there? Are you saying he popped a cherry man? No, dude, that's not what I was saying. I'm just saying this grown man shot a doll to death. Yeah, but Eric's saying it. I didn't mention cherries. And he goes to the guy's like, now do you believe me?

And he's like, yeah, but who's going to believe me? I'm suspended anyway for that other stuff I did. We're not going to get into it, but it was bad. A bunch of that shit leaked. I'm finished. You know we are part of the Chicago Police Department. Oh, yeah, so this doll's dead, dude. And, like, yeah, the doll comes back for a little bit

and starts fucking with this guy. So now he's a believer. Yeah, he's a believer. Now everybody's on board, thank God. Yeah, and we leave the room. And, like, she's like, and the poor Catherine Hicks is like, we have to get, we have to get Chris Sarandon to the fucking hospital. I'm like, no, first of all, we're going to fucking, like, clean my house.

That guy could deal with him as his damn cell. Chris Sarandon's like, I think we're going to have to form a new police, the doll police. No, Chris Sarandon needs a land before time bandaid, and that's it. I think you need a scene where everybody's getting their stories straight. Yeah, that's a great point. Some guy, he came in, he looked an awful lot like Brad Durif,

but we all know him to be dead, so I don't know figure it out, other detectives. I think it was Tommy Wiseau, actually. He had a doll with him, and he burnt it right in front of us for some reason. And I would have got away with it, too, if it wasn't for you three chickens.

Who wants to play football in the hallway? Cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap. That doll's dead. Cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap, that doll. Just a reminder that that dude sucks. Indeed. So what's ridiculous at the end of this movie is like they're just, they're walking out of this bedroom

where everything goes down, and she's closing the door, and she's like, Catherineix turns off the light. What are we doing? That door is staying open. The lights are staying on. Absolutely. The old people downstairs. are dead, the police are on their way.

I am getting a fucking religious member of every major religion and they're fucking performing an exorcism on everything. Yeah, dude, you got to fucking clear that apartment. You're not going to resell that shit. Nope. Just burn it right to the ground. Or board it up. I feel like when I go to bed that night

I'm like, so food is real. Oh, that's weird. That's weird. It's not just a religion. It's the weird stereotypical shit we see in pop culture. That's weird. Okay. And they freeze frame on this kid creeping me the fuck out. He's looking back at the dead doll. Just like, I'll be back for you, Chucky. Stay tuned for the sequel, y'all.

Yeah, I mean, I feel like they were kind of trying to split the difference. Like, oh, maybe he got inside him anyway. But that's not what we're doing, right? No, if that's what they were trying to do, that's a gross failure. Yeah. This movie might be gross failure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a total failure.

but that is the end of the film. I will start with Steve Sadek. Would anybody recommend this movie, man? Yeah, it's a light recommend. It's kind of fun to see, like, once-ish, like once every kind of eight years, you're okay? Once every eight years, just revisiting child's play, you know? Yeah, sure.

All right, no, fair enough, man. That's exactly my cycle. You know, I would also kind of lightly recommend it because I've now seen some of these sequels. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. What I'm doing there? What I'm fucking

Creepfest then? Disgusting. People spent money on that. You made those movies? Is this your... Straight to fucking VODC to what are we talking about? There's a cult. And there's a cult is that?

Wait, wait, is this your Toy Starry ASMR? Oh, man, you won't last five seconds to my recommendation of Child's Play. I didn't. No, because it's Haitian Zero. for what he was talking about right there. They're like fucking six of these things. That's an interesting thing, Chris Cabin,

is do you, are you able to blame the original film for what followed after? It's not this movie's fault. In no other case but this. Fair enough. Yeah, no, I've never cared for this franchise. I know people like it. I just, I skipped it.

I was busy hanging with Jason and Freddie and leather. All the cool kids. No, it's all weird garbage. I'm not saying one's better than the other. I just never cared about the doll one, is what I'm saying. Sure. But round of applause for if you would recommend this movie.

Ooh, polite at best. Wait, hang on a second. Hang on. Shh. Would you not recommend this movie? Oh, I think the recommends win. All right. They do, but they're wrong.

Oh, grow up, Chris. Never. So we have to start wrapping it up here. We want to thank you guys for coming out. We always love playing Chicago. Give yourselves a round of applause. It's been great seeing you all. Even the woman's sleeping in the front.

We apologize to you, ma'am. We would like to thank HeadGum for putting this all together. It's been quite fantastic. They are an amazing group to be a part of, so we love being on the HeadGum Network. Thank you guys at HeadGum for having this. And as always, here on We Hate Movies, we like to end with a little bit.

of internet correspondence. Because as you guys know quite well, the greatest place for opinions about films is the Internet Movie Database, user review section. Cahir's do loser. Nice, dude. One out of ten stars,

the concept is not all caps even original, but it is bad because because ellipsies. Written by Enrique Sanchez 56. I like the idea that the title is like, guess what, there's more coming. Yeah. Oh, dude. Get ready.

It's a fucking title. Written by the way on December 28, 2000. Oh, nice. Wow. That's before 9-11. Thank you, walking calendar. I think it's a thing where this dude may have received a box set he didn't ask for

for Christmas. Here we go. Enrique Sanchez-56. It is bad because I found it so hard to believe this thing was coming to life. Sorry, folks.

You either believe in voodoo curses or you don't. One of the other men shitter get off the pot. As a comedy, it's wonderful. Even though scary movie was better. That was more believable. That was the more believable one.

It's also apples and oranges. But call me jaded. Nothing scares me anymore. Whoa, what? Bad ass. All I can say is thank you for your service. Yeah, I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is.

I think he was working with Ernest in Kosovo. After a few films, the genre was done for me way back when. Like what? Like fucking Nosepherson? When were you fucking done with this? The concept of having a doll come to life for evil purposes was used a few times by Rod Serling in the old Twilight Zone series,

Woo indeed, friend. What does this movie contribute to the genre of really being afraid? I mean, yeah, no, I was asking kind of the same question, worded a little more accurately and not written on the internet. Folks, have we run

completely out of new ideas this is in 2000 by the way someone said yes and that is absolutely correct yeah no but I'm saying dude now we're talking 2019 this dude must be furious

oh they're remaking it well he could have died in 9-11 but I suppose he could have I suppose he could have kind of more believable than Chuckie This next thing is all in parentheses for no reason. The only thing that would frighten me is if cheesy movies like this

were the only kinds we could see. Now that's horror. Holy shit. This dude stinks. I wonder if one day they will ever get accomplished writers to contribute to horror flicks. That is, of nerdy, overgrown horror fan

wannabies, maybe there is hope and a real plot will emerge from the hot air. This dude's writing this review farting. And maybe, just maybe. We can get these villains to have really interesting motives

all capital letters for no reason. That are not hackneyed. So here we go. He's about to mention a noted horror hound right here. Maybe Spielberg will make one really good one one day. Well, I can dream, can I? We are We Hate Movies from New York City, everybody. Thank you for coming out to Chicago.

We will see you next time. Bye-bye. That was a hate gum podcast.