We Hate Movies - S10: Episode 499 - Multiplicity

Episode Date: August 11, 2020

On the episode before 500, the gang chats about the outrageous Michael Keaton clone comedy, Multiplicity! Why in the world is Harris Yulin's character only in a single sequence of the film? Why do the clones have different personalities from Michael Keaton Prime? And what's the policy on having sex with your own clone? PLUS: A tale about Al Franken talking documentaries with Eric and Chris! WHM is donating 100% of our 2020 merch income to causes fighting for racial justice. For more information on how you can pitch in, head over to our website. Multiplicity stars Michael Keaton, Andie MacDowell, Harris Yulin, Richard Masur, Eugene Levy, Ann Cusack, John de Lancie, Brian Doyle-Murray, Obba Babatundé, and Julie Bowen; directed by Harold Ramis. Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the program, it's the feeling when you realize a 1996 Michael Keaton looks an awful lot like a 2020 Dave Matthews. It's multiplicity. I'm Andrew Jupin. Andrew Jupin number two. Andrew droopin number three. Andrew droopin four. And we hate movies.

Hello, As always, that's right. We are chatting about multiplicity from 1996 directed embarrassingly by Harold Ramos. Two in a row, baby. Two in a row, what? It was this was after Stewart saves his family. I mean, this is a better movie than Stewart. Yes. Oh, absolutely. Sure.

No contest. You got to go back, check in on Stewart saves his family. Have we ever told the lost episode, the true lost episode story? Oh, you know, I don't know. can do it right here. This is a good place to do. We're talking about Harold Ravis movies. It was me, you, Andrew, and Sean did an episode on Stewart's Dave's Family. But for some reason, we did it in your living room. We usually did it at my place, which was a dude apartment. Nobody cared about anything. We did it at your place. And like, Chelsea was just to sleep,

and we had to like whisper the whole time. Yeah, it was in, so we're talking two apartments ago for me, one bedroom apartment. We had to do the recording in the living room. I don't remember you know what's funny see I think part of it may have been we were like hanging out and then it was like you want to do an episode on Stewart's his favorite because we just fucking watched it yeah

that's exactly what it was it was an impromptu episode a bad idea yeah oh totally bad idea and we were super stoned or at least I was super stone we were probably all super stone so so so Al Franken right dude Kevin I'm not

I mean you're fucking not off base man because yeah Chelsea was asleep and we were all whispering to do this episode. And then like the next morning I was listening to it and I was like, well, this is fucking not worth anything. What happened to that comedy career? And then he shows up and he's like

ooh, do you have a little guy? Oh God, shit. I got to go to the bathroom. You guys remember when we were drinking at the IFC bar and a drunken L. Franken stumbled on top of Chris Cabin's back? No way. I guess I must have been there. I wish I could have been there for it, but it's

one of my favorite stories. Did he make a move? Wow. No, he slamped into my back like he was mankind. My God, Chris Cabin is down. Al Franken's got Chris Cabin on the ropes. Oh, no, Al Franken's getting the sock. He's getting sock. Al Franken was completely wasted,

and he, like, hung out on your back for a minute. And we were talking to him a little bit because it was a premiere, it was like a premiere or showing up. I think it was the DA Pennebaker. God spoke Oh he did the he did the drunk lean on Like hey you guys

Oh that yeah And then he was so wasted that I was like I can you know just talk to him for a second And I shook his hand which you know in retrospect I shouldn't have done because he's been disgraced now But um Hands like gravel Really really tough Tough grip tough texture

I didn't expect it It hurts When he he slammed into me man it was something I got a technical complaint about watching this movie I rented this on like Apple movies and I don't know what you guys watched it on but the transfer was absolutely abysmal I am usually the guy that doesn't notice that but it's bad

I wrote it down I got it on voodoo it is BAD bad Oh it looks like shit It always surprises me and my you know my prior job at showtime I would have to check out movies like this. And it's like, why something from the 90s, I remember seeing Clear as Day in, I don't think I saw this in the theater,

but they used to air it on television. And those transfers were good. And then they go back to the master to do a new one and it's just rotted. Yeah. I was your opening day, baby. Really? I was a big Keaton head. It was a big Michael Keaton thing.

And I was like, oh, man, fucking four Michael Keaton's give it to me right now. Is that a price of one admission? Yes, please. It's like seeing four movies at once. I am not kidding you. Me and my brother still quote this movie somehow. What lines are you quoting from this movie?

The only one for no reason. I'm sure he wouldn't even remember what this is from, but we're like, ha, I love this coat. It's a great coat. And I don't know why, but that's the line. Something with a barbecue. That one for quite some time, I was saying out loud. And now we're both going to be missing Campfire girls.

Yes. I was trying to remember I don't think because I definitely did not see this in theaters and I don't think I'd ever because it's a super big TV movie this is like kind of a hangover movie par excellence

and I don't think until earlier this week when I watched it for this episode I had seen this movie front to back all the way through I think it was just like I caught it on TV and like had seen most of it And, like, you know, new all of the beats really, but like, like these opening credits where it's like the multiple names and everything, which are also terrible, by the way. The opening credits? Did you notice that it's got L.A. traffic in the opening to remind you, people are busy, all right?

Don't you not want to be in this traffic? And, yeah, as Steve, you sung a little bit there, the fucking slide guitar in this opening. and this is it is that fun you know what this is and he had passed at this point when this movie was out but steve this is still what you donned one time uh fat guy john candy music yeah yes absolutely still making its way into these 90s comedies like this is definitely a leftover because this is very much i mean to me anyway like stewitt saves the family notwithstanding this is the follow-up to groundhog day very much so like hey look high concept comedy uh of an of an 80s guy that's kind of still doing it and it's going to be high concept and Andy McDowell is going

to be involved. Oh my God, I didn't even put that together, but you're right. I'll be honest. I'll be honest. I forgot Harold Ramos directed this until literally I watched like seeing in the credits. I was like, oh, really? Yeah. This is him? No, it was Harold Ramos too. Oh, I see. The asshole one of him who directed. The witch Harold Ramos. Right. The one of did year one. Oh, that was something I saw in theaters at like the tail end of a triple. I was doing a triple dip at the old

Empire 25 in Times Square. Oh, nice. Triple dip. Yeah, dude, three movies in a row back to back to back. Dude, I did it. And this was the last one of those and it was a real comic book guy. Ooh, I've wasted my life. What were the first two? I need to know.

You know, that's a fucking great question. And I would have to, like, I hated that movie so much. I would have to like reverse engineer like the release schedule for 2009 whenever that movie came out. I'm going to crunch some numbers here. Yeah. Well, we're here. Yeah, it was June of 2009, Kevin, so work your magic and I'll see if I can get my brain in gear here.

I was one of them was the Zabruder film. That makes sense. Retro. Retro. I do, I feel like you're lied to here because at the beginning, it's the, like we're talking, look at LA traffic. You see Michael Keaton, Michael Keaton, you know, it's all like all over the screen. And he's see Andy McDowell

a bunch of times. I'm like, well, I've now been promised Andy McDowell to clones. Yep, what the fuck. Yep. I'm shocked that didn't do that to like pair them off. Yes, that would make some sense. It would be like a fun ending. And she's never brought into it this entire entire life for certain period of time has been a complete

lie and this fucking hero hero husband character. It's just like, that's good. Yeah, you know, I'll keep lying to my life. You need the end of Mrs. Doubtfire when she finds out that he's Mrs. Doubtfire. Yes, absolutely. She never does. This is like the Sally Field like, well, I guess Mrs. Doubtfire went back to England. That was weird. Yeah, totally. Guess we'll never see her again. Hey, kids. All right. Mrs. Oh, kids, I got a, I got a phone call. Mrs. Doubtfire died on the toilet. It's just Robin Williams with a piece of wax paper over the phone. Yes, this is the hospital.

It's slowly sliding off. I mean, it's insane, too, because we're watching this movie, and it's so insane that he doesn't get any kind of comeuppance for this because he is an asshole throughout this whole movie. This whole movie, the Michael Keaton Prime, the first one, is a complete and total asshole

that never gets his. He doesn't. I mean, like, he learns, you know, she breaks up with him, he gets fired. I guess that's what you're going to call the catharsis of it, but, like, not really. You know what I mean? Like, not really.

Yeah, I mean, she leaves for like an afternoon. Well, I guess it's a few days because they have renovate. We should, maybe we should talk about the start of the movie. Maybe I'm just giving it all away here. Well, no. Say your peas. It doesn't matter. It's multiplicity.

Fuck it. Well, no. It's just like she gets mad at him without even knowing that multiple clones of him after having sex with her. And then she just leaves for a weekend in Palm Springs and comes home. And she's just like, yeah, no, that's fine. And she suggests she went on like a, she went in a roam, like roamed out into the desert for some time with the Defider Coyote Spirit or something. I think that was the Palm Springs reference. Like where her parents lived or her mother lives?

No, he says how was the desert? I actually just rewatch this. Yeah. Well, how was the, because Palm Springs is in the desert. Oh, I guess. All right. My guess was, but I'm not a true Californian, so I don't know. Her father's house looks like it's in the shire. Like it's not, it doesn't look like a desert to me. Thank you for pointing this out, Chris, because her father. I believe lives in Los Angeles and I guess her mother, she took their kids to the mother so her parents are divorced in this, I think. Do you know who's playing her father and you don't see a word come out of his mouth? I do,

but you can go. The colonel from fucking boogie nights. I, dude, oh my God, wait a second. That is, let me tell you how hilarious is because in my notes, I just wrote the dude playing the father looks like the colonel from boogie nights and didn't even look it up.

That is spectacular. The very next year, I believe, he portrayed the colonel. Yeah. He's going to be at the same time. That is so funny. We kind of start with, it's him. He plays Doug Kinney, not Doug Kenny. I'm sorry to interrupt, but do we want to do a little game here about what Andrew saw?

Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. It's so much more important than multiple. Okay, let me try to jog the memory here. Okay. So one of the, one possibility is a Woody Allen movie. No, that didn't happen. Well, what was the movie?

whatever works. No, that wasn't. I did see that in the theaters, but that wasn't part of it. I will say also, you're not just going by like the same thing on the opening weekend, because I don't think it was three. Okay. You could have seen a Sandra Bullock movie called The Proposal. No, wound up renting that later on, have seen it, though. That's the movie where Betty White does an insane, like, indigenous people's dance in that movie, and it's quite uncomfortable.

I forget it. Andrew, you saw these all alone, right? No, the proposal was... Oh, oh, the triple feature films? Yes, yes. Sorry, triple feature films I was all by myself. Okay, I just wanted to make sure

we couldn't call a friend. Yeah, you're not going to be able to call anybody! Let me think here. Transformers, Revenge of the Fallen? No, I dragged my poor wife to that at the Kauffman Astoria. The Hurt Locker?

Uh, no. this is like you are going wait hold on what theater was this again it was the empire 25 in times square okay so all all bets off it could be anything i thought maybe if it was the cinema village or the one yeah yeah no i had 25 screens it was my fucking play place you know because that theater it's a shitty theater but it is the easiest to just theater hop if you want to see multiple things i believe that was the last theater i saw a movie in ever because it's not coming back, right? Okay. Was it moon?

No, the moon I saw at the burns because we played it. Taking a Pelham, one, two, three. That might have been one. Oh, like this. That might have been one. Okay. Because that was definitely a lonesome theater experience, I remember.

I don't know if you've seen, I saw either of these. The hangover. Oh. I feel like that was a trip to Kaufman Astoria, though. Land of the Lost? I've not, I've not seen that movie. That's a bad one. Steve's, Steve's favorite movie, away we go.

Oh, away we go was definitely one of them. You saw Away We Go, Take Apellum, One, Two, Three, and Year One is my guess. Taking of Pelham, one, two, three is the question mark one. But as soon as Cabin said, away we go, it sprung right into my head. So away we go, and year one, we're definitely two of them. Hmm. The only one of the fucking garbage dump with that piece of shit. That's a Sam Mendi's movie, isn't it?

It is. Yeah, it is. And what was that about again? It's just like, oh, man, we're too rich to have kids. Pretty much. We're rich, and we just, I don't know if we had kids, would they grow up to be assholes or something? Oh, no. The answer is yes, first of all.

And I don't know, I don't know if I ever saw that movie, but, you know, I could skip it. this is 40 when it came out. And I want to put a fucking gun in my head. The whole movie's problems is like, oh, no, I might lose my mansion. I stopped watching that movie because I was by myself and I was drinking a little bit. And I started Robert De Niro and Cape Fear laughing when it's supposed to be an emotional moment. They go visit Melanie Linsky and whoever plays her husband in that movie.

And they're kind of like a go-go club, but it's like after hours. And she, Melanie Linsky just starts. going on and doing a sexy dance to Velvet Underground Sweet Nothing. And the husband goes to John Grzynski is like, yeah, she had another miscarriage this week. And I just started and I was supposed to be like, oh no. It was just like the moment, the movement, it was fucking hilarious. You're talking about away we go. I thought this was a this is 40s scene.

Oh, no, no, no, no. My mind. I thought the same thing. Apologies. Was that was that the Jim Gaffigan? character, Steve? No, it was just some other I'll have to look up who plays her husband. Jim Gaffigant is in that movie but as somebody else.

Okay. Cabin, if you get some others, let's throw it out there but I will say to get us back on track here with multiplicity, here's another thing if you have this one beloved figure in your movie, if you have Eugene Levy in your movie, one, he needs

to be in it more, but two, you need a full mustache on this guy. I don't appreciate this fucking pencil thin groucho Marx mustache. I like it's like very pervy. He seems like a pervy character that ever comes into play, but I feel like maybe there's a deleted scene of him being a purvey guy. He looks like Jewish Gomez Adams. Yep, you're absolutely correct. Yeah, it's just very unsettling.

Especially when you're thinking about the thickness of the eyebrows versus the thinness of that mustache in this movie, it was unsettling. It is a very, I mean, and you're right, though. I mean, that's kind of the beef, one of my biggest beefs with the movie is like, you have this great supporting cast and they do nothing. They do nothing. And there's great people. I always love when Richard Mazur shows up in something, and he's basically on a, on the telephone once or twice. Yep. John Delancey as like his sort of competitor in the workplace co-worker guy. The rival that's trying to get one up on him. And it's just like, then we give all of that workplace stuff that was, I don't know, that could be interesting and competitive nature with John Delancey.

That's moved on to a clone that we don't watch. You get one scene with Obababata Tunday. Like literally one scene, and it's not even like he's supposed to be a character. And he's listed in the opening credits. Which is insane. He's got like three lines in this movie. It's insane. It's absolutely insane.

You demo the wrong driveway, Picard. Oh, Picard. Looks like you dug up the wrong holes this time. If the Federation's giving away driveways, maybe they'd want to pave one for the ball. So, yeah, they're like, it's a contracting business. that they all work for. Michael Keaton's got the obnoxious license plate of King 12.

And so, yeah, they're doing this job where Eugene Levy and the crew have torn up the wrong driveway. Oh, actually, I now understand why that license plate is what it is, because the guy, Richard Mazur, plays Del King. So that's a company car, King 1, 2, whatever.

Okay. Oh, gotcha. I thought this was, like, another reason to hate Michael Keaton's character in this movie. There's enough. There's enough. Absolutely. Yeah, like, so there's a little bit of business here where, like, the wrong driveway is torn up. We're arguing about who's going to pay for it. Who's going to do the time to do it?

Is anyone getting fucking overtime to make the mistake? So on and so forth. And you get just like a little insight into his like office life because we go back and like Richard Mazur's fucking yelling at him about it. And John Delancey's kind of like slinking around like, oh, he fucked up again, hey, Picard? I'm going to step right in. I'll be King 12. I'm King 13, Picard. I'll be King 12 by Christmas.

John, I got to ask, why do you keep on calling me Picard? Oh, Picard. Looks like you never watched a little show called Star Trek the next generation, Picard. Whoops. Del, can you talk to him? Del, could you talk to him a little bit, please?

He does this thing where he's like, you know what, my old job, Picard. They say, if you don't come in on Saturday, don't bother coming in on Sunday. And then Michael King goes, We will not work weekends, cute. We are not your puppets to come in Saturday. seven days a week.

If I was a nerd working at a Star Trek nerd specifically working at like a drive and through and I was quitting, the way I would get fired would to be to start at talking to every customer like John Dillan, like you, to Picard, just be like, oh, you want to chicken sandwich, do you? What are you going to do for me for that chicken set? And you also have to be calling every customer Picard. Oh, Picard, you're a monkey going to chew on a super-sized meal, are you? Oh, you humans are all alike with your spicy nuggets, Picard.

Of course you'd be into barbecue, Picard. Oh, man, large Coke, eh, Picard? Don't you want to make it a diet? I got a camera in this fucking thing. But, yeah, so basically the idea is like he's like, and it's a fine little work dynamic. like Richard Mazer's a real dick boss Delancey is this kind of sniping co-worker that wants to take his slot

and you know and like Michael Keaton's stuck in the middle that's like but it comes to sort of nothing you don't know because there's so much more at stake here because on top of it all he's got this like you know family that he's also been ignoring because he's you know working so hard and blah blah blah and so his wife is Andy McDowell and they have two kids boy and a girl

There's a move here when Michael Keaton gets home from work. And I don't recall, I think Andy McDowell is like, oh, you know, go wash up for dinner or something. You guys catch this cool little slide move that the little son does right here? Like, he's like, oh, boy, dinner. And he, like, he runs to, like, the back of the set. And the kid just kind of, like, does a cool, like, slide on the floor to, like, take the corner in the hallway. It was this, it's just like this little joyous, like, I'm in a movie. Yeah.

It's like, slide across the floor. Risky business. how you're describing his children you don't know their names you don't know what they want in life you don't know anything about this family despite the movie being about a guy getting clones so he could spend more time

with them and we know more about John Delancey which is nothing you don't know anything about them all I know about the kids is they love to call each other duty head that's about the extent of what I know about them well I was calling you duty head till like 10th grade well sure but like I was calling you back we had a little

repartee there but like And he plays football. He plays a football. That's a thing that gets fucking dropped is there's a story thread here where like Michael Keaton Prime is like at the football game. And it's the classic like the dad as the coach is fed up. And it's like, you think you can do better. Now you're the coach.

And we never see this kid play football. I think Michael Keaton dissolved the team when he got that responsibility. That scene has the weirdest joke of the whole movie. uh some random person it the the main coach is a lawyer it turns out and somebody in the crowd is like oh yeah what did what you defend the Rosenbergs a weird oh that's missed that like a dig and I'm like what is the 1950s are you Lenny Bruce like what the fuck is going on here wait someone in the crowd just yells that at Michael one of the parents is yelling at the coach the guy oh the coach is a lawyer who is a lawyer oh I got it and in response to that

somebody's like oh what you do defend the Rosenbergs I'm like Jesus Christ put my son in right now or you defended the Rosenbergs I guess because he's a defense attorney got a prosecutor they'd be fucking licking his shoes uh and so Andy McDowell's all peeved because Michael Keaton missed some fucking Girl Scout ceremony or something campfire girls Campfire girls is that a real thing or is it like we just couldn't license Girl Scouts I think that's what it's about. But yeah, she comes home from work and she's like,

oh, you missed kids graduate? I didn't even fucking write down what the name is. Kid number two. Yeah, you missed kid number two's graduation. And he was like,

wait, Campfire girls. And then there's talk about brownie. So was brownie is an illusion? So I don't even know what's going on because they only have the two kids, right? Yeah.

I think brownies are like little girl girl scouts. Okay. The joke is like, oh, he's like, I didn't miss cats. Campfire Girls, honey, I'm a brownie. Like, you know, L.O.L. I'm not a

conflict of interest. Campfire Girls is a real thing. What is it? Yeah. What is it? I just, I'm looking it up right now. Is it like Girl Scouts? Yeah, it looks similar. Campfire, formerly, Campfire USA and originally Camp Fire Girls of America is a co-ed youth development

organization. There you go. They probably do great work. Yeah. They start fires. Yes, all over this great nation, teaching them and how to be arsonists. I'm glad you brought this up, Chris, because now people can stop fucking tweeting. Yeah, but yeah, so, like, also, we should talk about their house.

They live in squalor for some reason, and it's never really clear to be what that is. I think he bought a fixer-upper type of thing. He's like, I'm a contractor, honey, I could fix it, whatever. But then he's only focused on building these shitty condos for Richard Mazar. Yes. I, yeah, every time I watch house hunters, the guy is just like, oh, man, yeah, let's do this. I'll just reno this and rent. I'm like, you're never going to do that, dude.

Dude, I just, you know, that show is in a little bit of rotation around the homestead here. And every fucking single time, it is like, start the clock to divorce with these people. Exactly. Like, there was one the other day. I almost pulled my hair out. It was a couple where, like, they weren't engaged yet or something. And it was like, we're going to buy this house together to take the next step. And I was like, you're both fucking crazy.

one of you is sleeping in that empty pool in the backyard three weeks into being in that house with the huge hole in the middle of the living room yep the husband's going to start saying it it gives the place character yeah it opens it up a little bit it's we got more room this way what what's your problem we could go right to the bathroom this way i will say they do have kind of a nice house it needs to be fixed up but it's kind of like a doc brown yes it definitely is a doc brown california has no doubt about it uh yeah but her yeah her whole beef is is like, we've been living in this dilapidated money pit for ages now and you haven't done anything about it.

And like, so that is the whole like crux of this movie, the, you know, the whole inciting incident is like Michael Keaton doing a lot of work to try to make enough money to support the family, yada, yada, yada, yada. Andy McDowell at this point in the movie is still a stay at home mom. We'll get to how he acts like a complete piece of shit about that in a few minutes. Yeah. But like, that's the whole thing is like, God, when am I going to have time for my family? And that's kind of the next thing.

She's just like, oh, you know, so-and-so offered him a little job back at the real estate company. And he just starts freaking out on her. He's like, well, we can't do that. You know, I'm barely home now. Now no one's going to see Campire Girls. And he like slams this plate. It's like, holy, what does this turn to a Cassavetti's movie? And dude, it turns Cassavetti's right quick in this movie.

It's kind of crazy. I had to watch this movie once and a half because I lost power during it. So on my second viewing, during this scene, when he does that, he walks over to, his tool chest. And there was a fucking mallet there. He starts to grip and it's like, I'm going to kill my wife. I didn't notice that. I saw it twice because I saw it earlier this week. We pushed us back

so I wound up watching it again like five minutes ago. Yeah, I noticed it the second time too. He grabs that mallet fucking Jack Nicholson style. Oh my God. Yeah, Gina Rawlins comes out and brings her to the other room to fix her makeup. See, here's the thing, Michael Keaton. If you're going to yell at your wife, you know, you got to yell at your wife.

You can't pick up a fucking mallet, man. Pick up a cold beer instead Pick up a cigarette Did you pick it up or did you just grip it? If you just gripped it, it's fine As long as you didn't take it out of the toolbox That's all right You just put your hand out

Just stroke your mallet That's all right It's fine but once you pick it up You gotta go You gotta go buddy He has some crazy line to where he screams I think this is him screams out My whole life's an emergency

Yeah dude Jesus man He's not having a good time But then he just goes Whoa sorry honey Call the Exorcist I don't know who that was I'm like nah

That means like call the fucking hotel because that's where you're sleeping. Totally. Call fucking Ma in Palm Springs, dude, out to the desert you go. So the big turning point in his life is they're doing for Richard Mazur's contracting company, they're doing a gig at the totally unexplored Gemini Institute. Oh my God.

We get a quick establishing shot like an interior one where we see like there are fucking animals and cages here. It looks like fucking Grimlins too. Oh, shit. I was thinking it was, what is that? What was the Lance Hendrickson movie we did? Man's best friend. Similar sort of like scientific facility going on here.

Maybe a little bit of lawnmower man with that monkey. Oh yeah, totally. This is not as dystopian. This kind of like looks like the Institute from like Twins. Like where they make the twins. Wait. Oh, the Institute from Twins where they make the twins. Yeah, that's right.

Oh, that's right. Because twins isn't just like they're twins. There's like some weird like biological thing. Really? Yeah, they're perfect. There's some horse shit signs. fiction in that movie too. Yeah, it's a movie that goes off. It's definitely a stay tuned, but it's a movie that goes, there's like way more to it than you would expect or want. Yeah, can you believe this, Danny DeVito? I've been made out of horse cam and you're a donkey com. Yeah, this is my donkey cum brother, Danny DeVito. Come along, donkey cum. Yes, you might have a guest. I'm made out of donkey cum. Uh, I don't know, but that's a big stallion come. Yeah.

look at that he could he could rent the triple ground with that come i'm horse coming at the gym horse coming at home dude speaking of arnold and horses we should give an update we've been loving arnold in quarantine with the mini horses oh for sure now arnold has this huge dog that is making friends with one of the horses what a spectacular existence dutch after his predator character i mean nothing's better than that it's so fucking awesome dude he said that dog is like like this i think he's got he accidentally adopted a wolf because he had some it was like an Instagram post or a tweet where he was like yeah here's Dutch of course named after my character from

Predator of course a classic film but yeah he is 10 months old he's already 200 pounds I was like holy shit dude you adopted a full-on wear wolf I think that's the first dog to come out of the Twins Institute yeah and this is his friend predator and now I'm gonna have dog fight on Instagram that'd be a quite a turn it would be less cute if he did that. Yeah, totally. So there's some incident in the construction zone here.

A pipe bursts. Everybody's fucking flipping out. And Michael Keaton has to like take a break from it all. So he goes outside to like, I guess it's the smoking area of the Gemini Institute where he runs into a man who has every reason to be in at least

eight to ten scenes of this movie. Harris Eulin one and done scene here with this guy. Should be the third in the credits. Like, he's an important character and he, this is it. It's the only scene we get with him. Well, it's

two, it's three, it's this scene. I mean, the next sequence. Yeah. Sequence. Yeah. But yeah, it's, it's nuts. He needs to come back towards the end and be like, well, hmm, clones aren't working out the way you thought, huh? Oh, yeah. If you, uh, dial this number into a phone, it makes them drop dead immediately. I brought

back to Scholarigruthers. We give him the chair again. gave the chair to Scaleri 1 and Scalary 2. Oh, man, you know, just, I forgot. I will say a great thing here, a little costume department thing. Harris Eulen wearing a spectacular bow tie as the scientist. It's a really solid scientist bow tie. He looks like Professor Frank.

It's great. We do get another Harris Eulen as well, so that's fun. Oh, right. Sure. The double Harris Eulen. I mean, the thing is the way they play this, at least in the beginning, it's like super Faustian kind of a thing. where he's just like, you want me to change your life?

And it's like, you know what I mean? Like it's this weird like he's, it's almost magical. And I think that's the problem is like with Groundhog Day, there is that magic to the movie that's never explored, but it's kind of cool because you're just kind of living in it. Well, that's the kind of thing where like if, sorry, I cut you off. Oh, no, but in this, it's like it's really specific,

but also magical, but not specific enough. Well, that's because, yeah, I agree. Because the difference here is like with Groundhog Day, if they attempted any kind of explainer, It destroys it. But in this movie, like, the cloning thing, like, it's a process.

Yes. It's, like, it's presented as a scientific process. So, like, I got to see what that shit is besides this, like, Michael Keaton dummy that you see for two seconds, like, Demolition Man style. Oh, yeah. And his dick is, like, taped to his leg and shit. He's warming. Well, if we see with the goop, but this is a purely bump situation when he comes out of the goop. But, like, I would believe this more.

if he was like he's like crazy neighbor like i don't quite buy this as this huge institute where he's i mean he's got like this creepy smile like robert crumb's stringyton brother it looks pervy but i get what you're saying for robert cold on i'm sorry i just need a vote for robert crumb's string eat brother because that's perfect it's quite great i see what you're saying is like maybe more of a back to the future thing this crazy guy next door has this shit going on in the basement and it would make more sense because we're about to talk about the mystery that is the payment system or whatever the fuck is going on barter system because yeah he takes he's like well i can change your life and he brings him in and he kind of like michael keaton it's a fun joke

where he's like almost talking to a psychiatrist where it's like he's laying down he's like yeah my you know my job is first my family's second man i'm a distant third blah blah blah and it kind of is this thing where a Harris Eulen clone comes in in a Hawaiian shirt which rules. Yeah, it does. I don't think Harris Eulen has ever been that casual in his real life. But he has a line where it's like, it's right here in the whole like fake psychiatrist scene because he says like, you know, well, I'm not a psychiatrist or something like that. And then so Michael Keaton's response to that is like, well, what do you do? And he goes, make miracles, create time. Elypsies, ellipses, Elypsies, Michael Keaton starts falling asleep.

And then he finally goes, I make clones. Yeah, I mostly make them for the human trafficking industry. They bring someone here, I clone them a 50 times, and we have an underground system throughout all the major metropolitan areas. I'll be honest, I kind of ended human trafficking, because now it's all clone trafficking. I call the system Wayfair Oh no See now it would be illegal

To put a cigarette out on a child But a clone child Doesn't exactly have those rights Now you see we start Pizzerias here see And we run them right through it It's a gate A pizza gate

You might call it Named it after my favorite thing Growing up Pingpong And Comets I run them through the gate Also known as a pizza gate Absolutely fantastic. I do love, I mean, so yeah, he's like, clone Eulen comes in and it explains, it's very much Jurassic Park that hurt John.

It don't, yes, it totally is, dude. Although I will say, unlike the John Hammond clone, I would split a picture of margaritas with this Harris Yuland too. Oh, you're kidding me? Oh, yeah. Fuck, man, you're just like sitting out somewhere, like on the beach, a couple of Stoogies going. Picture of Margs. Oh, yeah. Oh, sure, sure, sure.

But be aware, he's going to ask. you to fuck his wife. Yep. Guarantee. Be aware. Just be ready for it because it's going to happen. Four of me are joining in.

What you're describing is the Brian Doyle and Murray character of this film, which we'll get you later on. Swinger Central. My swinger alarm is going off. See, that's a character that doesn't need to exist either. No, not at all. I like him as a performer, but like

the avenues this movie goes goes down is just these are useless avenues. It chooses to go to. on these avenues yeah because i mean it starts like again this first like 45 i would say like if this movie was just about the michael keaton and this one clone and the things they get into it's a movie i would like yeah it's because that's more than enough it really is more than enough it would be more interesting they give that first clone a lot of agency he's like it's like it's like oh man it's like if it's like if you never got married you'd be this kind of scummy blah you know what

you can kind of see like thematic parallels and then they go into like mealy-mouth gay jokes and mealy-mouth disability jokes for the last hour of it and it's like, don't do that. And also those avenues are like, I'm a rich white guy, so I'm going to try to get some golf fan. I'm going to try to learn how to sail

with Brian Doyle Murray when I'd rather be watching the clones have sex with your wife. And all the setups are super sitcom-y. Yes. Like there's nothing really very interesting about it. It's all stuff that you've seen a thousand times before.

That's a great point. This would be a better as a sitcom. I understand the cloning, like the effects of multiple Michael Keaton's would be a lot to pay for for a sitcom, but the setups of this is very sitcom. And I will say just to, again, just I want to try to do this. Like we're at the tail end of season 10 year. It's been almost a decade of doing this show. But I'm finally at a point where I'm trying as much as I can every episode to say something nice about each movie.

And I will say in this movie, one of the things that I think is it's not perfect. I mean, it's 1996, so we're doing the best we can. But the interactions with the clones, as far as things, like, there's one shot, there was one shot that totally stymied me. I had no idea how they did it, where it's just like total single take, like Michael Keaton, one sits down, and he puts a glass of water on the table, and then the other one picks it up and drinks out of it. Yeah.

And it's all fluid. It all looked really good. They probably just, like, superimposed his face or something. so like the clone stuff here for 1996 especially really really played nicely still very good very good all the way around and I do think that like Keaton brings it you know what I mean all four of them have different energy

you know what I mean like I will get to the last we'll get to all three in a moment but like the first one really specific and the other two are very broad and kind of shitty but like there are you you buy like these are different characters with different wants and feelings and emotions kind of a thing right exactly so he agrees on the spot to have his procedure. There's some funny business with Michael Keaton freaking out

that he's going to be like Jeff Goldblum in the fly, which is kind of nice. But he very specifically asked Harris-Elan, like, what does this thing cost? Oh, right. And both the Harris-Eulen clones look at each other, knowing smile, smash cut. We don't know what. Like, I need, you can tell me it's $10,000. You can tell me it's $100,000.

You can tell me it's a million dollars. I believe all three. You could also tell me it's free because it's experimental and you're a guinea pig for this guy. But then later on, the two other clones, cloned themselves to make the fourth one, and they say they got a great deal on it. So it makes me think there is a monetary value. He's charging of something.

I mean, and also like, how rich are you that you got all this clone money sitting around? All right, Joe, you want to be cloned. You got to have sex with me, me, me, and my wife. That's honestly, I think the price you pay, dude, is sexual favors. I wouldn't have to be. I don't understand this otherwise, because the money actually would be a huge hangup for me, because he barely can keep this house together. Well, that's exactly right.

Like, he's bitching about having a work all the time, this, that, and the other thing he needs the overtime and whatever else. Like, so if he was all of a sudden dropping 50 grand on a clone, like that doesn't make any sense. They make him very specifically upper middle class and he should be super rich. It should be like, oh, you know, your classic junk bond scenario. He's at the office all the time. Big high-powered lawyer.

He doesn't have enough time for yada, yada, yada. He's got clone money then. Then that makes sort of sense. And Andy McDell is playing. the kind of partner who is like checking finances very clearly. If you fucking take $50,000 to pay for another you, she's going to notice. I'll tell you what, the first one is free. I keep your DNA and suddenly I'm cutting the legs off of a Michael Keaton in my basement for fun.

Yeah, he keeps the specs. Oh, that's the specs for all of the people he clones. Oh, fuck. There's a great, like totally disgusting spinoff of this movie is Harris Eulen's character is keeping the blueprints for Michael Keaton and then he's making like a hostile business out of it and it's all these fucking creep murder tourists

are coming in. That'd be great or like he makes a whole town of fake people or something. Oh fuck yeah. I was thinking maybe he goes, Michael Keaton's at a restaurant he's not having a good time. He goes back like what's going on in that kitchen and it's all Michael Keaton's running in the kitchen. There is a way like if you weren't trying to

make this a semi innocent you know, innocuous Harold Ramas 90s comedy yes you could put a really dark twilight zone twist on all of this and i gotta tell you right now it's a way better movie yes yep i think it would be a better idea even to like how about both him and annie mcdowler are offered this and like they both get cloned and like they do have to like negotiate how time is going to be spent right as free time versus how working taking care of the kids all that stuff and like having to deal with that kind of relationship but this is all just about

Michael Keaton vamping with himself. You're totally right. If it was a, if it was a communal thing, like, with the couple doing it together, because that's sort of stuff that the movie tries to explore, but it can't get over that threshold

because it's all just Michael Keaton dealing with himself and because he's keeping it a secret. I think you make it easier on the storytelling and more interesting with the storytelling if he's at least open. Like, maybe you don't clone Andy McDowell also, but at least she's in on it. Yeah. Or learns of it early enough in the movie where it matters, as opposed to not at all.

And that gives her something to do in this movie. Because again, I don't think she's terribly good in this movie. She's much better in Groundhog Day because at least she's like, I'm a reporter. I hate this guy. I'm stuck in this town. Like, it's a real specific, like, and she's got her own agency in that. And this one, she's just like, she's got a rolling pin in her hand, the whole movie. She's like Mrs. Andy Cap in this movie. Yeah, she's a stereotype mom type of thing. We don't even get to see. see her really do much real estateing like it would be interesting to see is she good at like her work does she like her work like that doesn't really come up except for as like uh arguing points when he's like no you should just quit your job god i can't i still just cannot get over those

arguments of this movie it made me hate this fucking character so much that like anytime the movie attempts in any small way to make you feel for him i was like nah dude well he's totally selfish I mean, it's one thing if it's just like, I wish I could make this work, but I can't. I just want to go jerk off. You know what I mean? Like, that's my entire fucking. Also, that's what I would do. Like, literally, I would be like, that would be my, it was like, I wouldn't go sailing.

It would be like, I'm playing Street Fighter 2 and jerking off literally all the time. Totally. But it's so much worse than that because it's literally the reason he has to get a third one is because he isn't able to go golfing for two days. Yes. Essentially, in the math of the movie itself, it feels like two days have. pass. And he's like, well, fuck it. I mean, she's got to quit her job. I've got to get another clone, clearly. If I've got to get a fucking nine holes in. He gets cloned. We do see, yeah, there's a goop monster. I mean, I don't understand why

he needs to be anesthetized at all, because just they take his blood and all the stuff happens outside of him. You know what I mean? I think Harrison, Harris Yulin was just getting some fun pumps in, you know what I mean? Got it. Yeah. Because you're totally right, Steve. It's like, you can get the DNA. from the blood, so what the fuck else do you need? They're like Xeroxing him kind of with a green laser light, but even still, that doesn't, you know, it's an x-ray. You don't need that for, you don't need to be out for that.

Right. It is ridiculous. And then when the clone comes out, he's just like, well, you take it from here. Good luck, you know? Totally. Thankfully, he's got a fucking separate apartment above his detached garage. Dude, he is making these clones live up there like Arthur Fonzorelli when he's got to move in with the Cunningham's and it's insane.

It's absolutely insane that you're just hiding clones and you're dilapidated to garage. Like that could just be your, you know what, Michael Keaton, here's the thing. You don't even need a clone man. If you were on, just like on the weekends, I'm gonna fucking fix up my house. You get that garage fixed up.

That's daddy's fucking man cave kind of thing. You can go play street fighter and jerk off there all you want and you don't even need a clone. Yeah, but the fact that this is on the property and no one notices the, you know, Andy McDowell doesn't notice the kids. don't notice. The kids should walk in on the clones and then, you know, be like, oh, you just

had a dream or something. Well, I think the way that the screenplay gets around that is I think you're supposed to take from the house still being under construction that like that area is like totally off limits because it's not like safe or whatever. Safe or

finish. Yeah, there's like plastic sheets. Lots of rusty nails it looks like. Not yet. So he wakes up and it's actually, this is weird. Again, it's almost, you could do a good psychological, and he can still be funny, but like weird psychological trauma thing because he's like, well, I'm not the clone. I'm me. And it's like, well, no, you are the clone. See this weird tattoo behind your ear? Yes, which never comes to anything ever again. It looks like Harris Eulen at like the very end of the search. He's like, oh, crap. It takes a Sharpie and just like, it looks really shitty. He doesn't remember which is witch. Like, shit, I was full. That is the creepy thing. And that's why. like it's weird that you don't know

anymore about this procedure because clearly it's not just a DNA thing like we were saying Steve because these clones all have the exact amount of memory that Michael Keaton had like right up to the point that they did the procedure. That's insane. That kind of does

falls by the wayside a little bit when the um, what was the number three? The effeminate one has to go to the job site. Suddenly he doesn't have any basic construction knowledge. Yep. They totally forget the rules that they set up for this. And, like, I even

think there is some line where they're like, one of the clones says, like, I think two, who's like the working tough, gruff one, says to three, the effect one, like, how did you forget all this or whatever? And he's like, well, I don't know. I was just under a lot of pressure. And it's like, no,

if you're telling me at the beginning of this movie that it's the same fucking person, then these personality clashes don't really make any sense and you need to fucking figure that out. Maybe it's written from the point of view, which is terrible that like, you know, effeminate men or women couldn't handle the, you know.

I think that's kind of what we're doing. It would have to be. It would have to be. But I need, so here's the thing, though, then you need a scene where after Michael Keaton realizes that this number two is like a gruff, like totally tunnel vision, like work only thinking kind of creation,

he needs to be like, hey, Harris Eulen, I'm kind of like still a fun loving dad. Why is this guy an asshole? And if it's just a thing where like Harris Eulen, and's on the phone with him like oh well you see sometimes personalities can come out in the like just whatever just fucking spaghetti explained it to me it doesn't matter at all but like you got to have some explanation for why like they bother to do it with four because they have that copy of the copy thing and that was in the trailer and the whole thing but like why the fuck

is one this like a fete kind of character out of no it's insane i'll do you one better why aren't they talking about their past ever we know nothing about him really other than what is currently happening to him like it the all these you know it would be interesting if you know the two remember something that prime doesn't yeah like has to remind him of this stuff oh yeah that would be good something like that might give these characters a little bit more inner life other than like i'm riko i'm the tough one i'm glad so they become cartoon characters when they're supposed to have every single experience dughead they all remember marrying her they remember the birth of their children.

They supposedly all love Andy McDowell. You know what I mean? And they would probably miss her, I imagine. You know what I mean? Like in some way, shape, or form. Should we talk about rule number one right here. Yeah, she'd go right ahead.

All right. Do not talk about multiplicity. It's not to have sex with the wife. Right. Also, like, I'm kind of like, well, why not? Yeah. I mean, obviously let her in on it. But like, does it really matter?

They're you. They are you. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. They have, they want a fucker because that's her, that's their wife too. I said I do. Their memory banks or whatever they have remember those supposedly supposed to remember those moments. I think you have to think of it as he is like he's Al Bundy if he got cloned. Yes. Like, but Keaton isn't playing him that like a stupid, ignorant or misogynistic. Right. But like, or or low class. But like he, that's his attitude towards everything. is an Al Bundy type fucking feeling. The first hour makes sense because like the Rika or whatever I got number two

is this like it's like oh the the guy you would be if you never got married. You know what I mean? Like the guy that is like drinking beer in his underwear and like blah blah blah. Like maybe he's like he enjoys going back to that so much that he's like oh fuck it. I never want to get married again and I'm a piece of shit now or whatever. Not a piece of ship. You don't mean like he's like a gruff ass. He becomes more macho and dudelike because he's like a divorced dad almost as opposed.

And like, that clash between him and the married Keaton could be interesting. And then it's like, well, one of the, what if one of them is kind of gay? Okay. Like, where does any of that come from? Well, the masculine work one, like, lean into that. Show me him at work. Show me him going to like these fucking, like, you know, blue collar bars mixing it up. Like, give me a little bit of an environment of what they're doing.

Right. And like, well, what's also weird is like because, you know, the, the screenplay, such as it is, has this obnoxious prejudice. where it's like any man, because the purpose of three, three is the one that, like, will stay home and do the family stuff and be like the dad at home kind of thing.

And it has-cooked and clean, yeah, exactly. And it has this dumb, totally right in line with the 1990s bias of like any man who does that must not be like masculine. And it's like, clearly it has to be

a more feminine character if it like staying home and raising the kids and whatever. I mean, this is the guy that played Mr. mom. yeah no exactly you fucking did this already and it's one thing to be like oh you know maybe he's just more caring more nurturing because you know dads have that side like that's what they that's you raise your kid but then he's just like Andy McDowell fix your hair you know what I mean like he's all of a sudden like caring about fashion and shit that's like that's for shit

it takes it way way too far could you like they should all just be fucking Michael Keith because it's so dumb that it's not psychological belief back then of like well there's only masculine and feminine that's the two sides of person and there's nothing else going on. It feels more in line with like fear of like metrosexuals quote unquote and like guys who just know how to dress well I guess

like and like but like yeah they tow that line and they never make up their minds. It's just it's just ridiculous. So he's got this clone two fucking up in the basement or up in the uh the garage apartment or whatever. And right from the the jump I'm like well how does he

expect these clones to just be subservient to him, you know, and the clones themselves are kind of like, well, what the hell are we supposed to do? A clone uprising would be cool or like a talented Mr. Ripley type but they just start stabbing him. Well, that's how this movie should end, right? If they, if they went the route of what we suggested with, it's just the one other clone. And then the end of the movie is two kills prime and takes over his personality. And it's just Michael Keaton. You get him to do the really fucking crazy Batman Bruce Wayne eyes. this movie he looks right at the camera freeze frame the end oh yeah it would be good because like

that shows that really i mean this movie also is like look at the danger of having human clones around but that would really be that would drive at home it seems like fun having clones and they even get all these buddies yeah it would be much more interesting if it went like you know the two it is just one and it is just prime and two and they both start having sex with her and it turns into a Dead Ringers in the suburbs. Oh, sure. I'm not happy with that. I would go that way. Dead Ringers gets out of the city, yeah. I think Prime should start

fucking his clones. Yes. Oh, I would. Absolutely. You got to like, you know, it's like, oh man, hey, number two, could you come over here? Just to see what it's like. Of course. Of course. I would blow myself. Come on. I would 100%

do that. Absolutely. It's fully interactive masturbation at that point. Exactly, dude. It's like, it's like jerking off with a VR helmet on. Or, like, you know, go to the holodeck or something. You want a clone to do the stranger. It's the strangest, stranger.

Yeah, the all too rare double stranger. So, yeah, like, two instantly goes, there's a fun scene where, like, two goes to work, and, like, Michael Keaton tries to go to work, and it's like, oh, shoot, I, you're in the meeting already, and it's a, it's a

fun, like, that's, like, the sitcomy bit where it's, like, kind of, fun and like you're only juggling one ball so it is kind of funny to like see that kind of work and when you see that scene kind of going along it's kind of cooking and you're like okay this could be the movie yes you know and you realize like right for that like those precious few minutes in this movie where it's just the one clone you're like yeah totally like this movie's working and then i think you're totally right the second clone three is produced like it's just the whole thing falls apart i would slightly argue about that because the what the first

day when he goes to work after the Crush Ted dance, which is fantastic. The chest bump and the Crush Ted. That is phenomenal. We will crush it. We will crush it. I love that. So he goes to work. Two goes to work early.

And then Prime shows up. And I'm like, okay. So now I think Prime is the stupidest idiot that's ever lived. You didn't talk to your clone about who was going to do the work when? You just a fucking the bed you idiot check the apartment if he's not there maybe you shouldn't be at work yeah

what the fuck you got you got to say though like all right clone uh you know today's tuesday so i envisioned when i made you uh that you would be like the wednesday thursday friday god sure so like i'm gonna go to work today but then tomorrow then you take it you take it and run with it for the rest of the week that would be interesting because then he would have to try to match the personality leave the clone a little bit, or if he'd go to work and be like, I can't believe what, someone would be like, I can't believe what you said yesterday or whatever and he'd have to like fake the funk.

Yes, totally. Yes, exactly. Again, singular clone, we've got a movie here. Absolutely. He does. And then, again, like, because he's kind of his id, he fires Eugene Levy. Well, actually, the first, first he puts Ted in John Delancey's last speaking

scene in a in a port-a-potty and like make somebody, a construction guy, pick it up, but it's like, no, picard. This is an interesting scene to me because it looks like this is right outside of Del King's construction company, so your

work bathroom is a porta-potty, maybe? Great question. Great question. I don't know, man. Maybe like Del King's whole motto is like, you fucking live it on the site. You got to live it at the office, too. Because they have a nice enough office, but it's like, no, no, no. The inside bathrooms definitely closed. You've got to go outside to the

port-a-potty. Del King just called Doug in, and he's like, Doug, did you shipped head to Abu Dhabi in a port of potty. I like lasagna. Oh, man. I don't condone that impression, but this number four character we have yet to

introduce on this podcast is a nightmare. It's a total, total nightmare. So he fires you, so two fires Eugene Levy. And you know what, rightfully so, Eugene Levy's like two hours late for work or something like that. And after the demo thing. And again,

Like, he doesn't fire him for the demo thing because, like, the other Michael Keaton is a bit more soft. This one's harder. Like, that's, again, there's tension there, but it's not explored really. And here's Obababa Tunday's one scene where he points at a blueprint for fucking Michael Keaton. It's ridiculous, man. The poor guy. That sucks. Then the next thing, he's about to, Michael Boathe's trying to get his fucking golf in.

And then Andy McDowell calls and is like, I need someone to take the girl to ballet practice or something going on and like it's it is what it is and he's like oh god damn i have to do one fucking thing for my family that's it it's all over i need three more clones now it's fucking awful man because it's also like he's rushing to get it done and like he makes his little girl look like shit it's a crazy i think they're taking like it's the class picture is supposed to be that day like the ballet class like there's a photographer coming so he's like got the kid all decked out and whatever the decked out that he's gotten her looks like lisa's Simpson is Florida

Yeah, and he's just a man So he doesn't know how to dress a little girl He's never done it because he's a man The fucking like dress line was at the neck Like oh yeah, that's fine The tutu goes around the neck, right? I'm a fucking man And Mr. Mom was like 15 years ago, dude

I've seen this movie already It's so dumb I feel that Mr. Mom was pretty early Like 83ish Wow, was it really that early 83? That's kind of his breakout. yeah yeah wow Eric you're right 83 on the dot my parents had on VHS and I believe now you know we get Reagan in office and we get all these years of this hyper masculine bullshit I'm sure it was terrible in the early 80s and 70s too but it feels even worse somehow I want Michael Keaton the fucking brandish a chainsaw in this movie though that's the big difference I think Jimmy Carter years were the only time where our soft boys really had a good time

soft boys. We finally got a peanut farmer on the White House. Sit back and eat some peanuts. It is a crisis of confidence. You're right, Jimmy. Listen, Jim, once Jimmy Carter's in office, we're all going to have paydays. They got peanuts in him. Oh, man. So, yeah, so

there is kind of a funny thing where, like, they get to the dance studio and he's like, we're here for the pictures. And there's an instructor, the class, the schooled, or whatever is like oh well oh didn't you get the message like that got moved to next week or something like that and he just asked this line where he's like get a photographer here right now that's insane this is like unhinged psycho behavior like either you get a photographer down here right now I'm gonna fucking hurt someone do you want a scene I could make a scene here lady but then Rutgerhauer shows up didn't you get the memo and then this sort of like catapult's a little bit of a montage here of like him, you know, having to be like the stay at home dad. And it's just a disaster. There's a dinner disaster. Kids are screaming with each other

and they're screaming at him and he's screaming back. This is the whole duty head thing. Yeah. And this place looks like where the yellow king was hanging out. I know. I know. It's filthy. It's filthy everywhere. But like the ninja turtles lived more cleanly than these people. They absolutely did. There's a huge hole in the wall. Like, I mean, Again, Raphael, like, whoa, we can't have that. Whoa, Master Splinter, get some drywall. We got to fix this wall. There is a one big slice of pizza being handed around, so it does make sense.

It's like the Fight Club mansion. Yes, it is. And that's actually interesting, given that he's got these fractured minds of his clones. Question mark, actually, thinking about it. Are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Ternels, Teenage Mutant Ninja Clown Turtles? Possibly there was a one. Leonardo was the one. and then they've cloned them three times you got a sciencey one a sarcastic one a party one like the ooze was just the residue after the cloning they just threw out the baby with the cradle or whatever exactly fan theory total fan theory we have we're sort of around like the next massive sitcom moment where he takes andy mcdowell out to dinner and then clone number two has taken anne kusack out to dinner and kuzak out to dinner and kuzak plays

He's a co-worker of Michael Keaton's in this movie or something like that. And so they're out to dinner at the same restaurant. And there is, what do you call it there? This is like where he is like really being, again, really shitty to Andy McDowell because he's like, well, you got to go back to,

you have to quit your job. And she's like, I just got here. I like it. And he's like, well, too bad because I fucking am sick of making peanut butter sandwiches. I like that she gives him the finger in this scene. Oh, yeah. Fuck you.

She hates this dude. I know. It's amazing. By the way, this whole scene is fucking Mrs. Doubtfire horse shit. It is. Yep. Absolutely, dude. There's also a fun gay joke in this one with Jim Piddock plays the Mater D. And he's giving him like a weird look like, I just, but I just saw you. And Andy McDowell is like, I think he likes you. Yeah, totally. Dude, the Ernest P. Whirl. Ew. Yeah. And it's, ah, I hate that joke so much. because you're totally right. It's so obvious that it's like Jim Piddock's character is like, well, I, that guy, is there a two to-to-to-to-to-to-gooos, you know, and then it's just like gay, never mind, it's just gay, gay, gay, gay.

God damn it's right. This movie is exhausting. So, yeah, there's a big like confrontation in the fucking bathroom with the two of them. Well, because two has taken out Anne Cusack, who works at the office. who's only good for this one scene where he can meet his other and yeah and he tries to drown his other in the

fucking bathroom. Oh right to hide his face while Pidoc comes in. Yeah and it's another like oh now you're in here with a man let's keep this fucking gay joke going and then like Keaton's got a weird line right here he's like you never saw a guy wash another guy's face before. Okay. And this is where

he's like you know number two is like you know I can't just like he's what do you do it you can't just take women out all over the place like what the fuck am i supposed to do you've got me locked up in there i've got nothing to do i've no friends he's like he's like this is also my favorite restaurant dude we're the same person exactly there is one joke in this sequence that actually made me laugh pretty loud i will admit it's when one of the michael keaton's like it's trying to duck and avoid being seen by andy mcdow or whatever the scenario is here right you avoid the clone whatever he's Michael Keaton, like, falls down and he tells this girl, Anne Kusack, like, oh, no, it was old sports injury.

Oh, I didn't know you played football. I know. I fell out of the bleachers. That's kind of a good line. This is also where my, my, my, my, the line I just remember, like when he's trying to sneak out of the booth from Andy McDowell. I was like, you know, honey, just get me something. You know what I like. Something with a barbecue sauce.

Yeah. I do. I mean, again, like Michael Keaton is funny in this. It's a very, like, and it's kind of weird because he hasn't, yet he had not done, like, a full-on comedy for a while, you know what I mean? Like, it was like, this is his return to it. Because, I mean, like, his career wasn't going so great. He actually turned down Groundhog Day, by the way. Oh, wow.

I mean, people just is kind of a comedy. People just is, for sure. Yeah. I was trying to look at just go to the old, uh, because he came from Mr. Mom, uh, gung-ho, like, all those 80s. Like, he was like, he was Tom Hanks for a while. Johnny Dangerously specifically. Dangerously. Great movie. But yeah, because it was like 92

was Batman Returns. And then it's like 93. He was in a much ado about nothing adaptation. So he's good in that. My life. The paper, which I never saw. It's a Ron Howard movie. It's a drama. Drama kind of thing. And then also in 94, something

called Speechless. It's a political speechwriter with Gina Davis. Romcom. Yeah. Oh, wow. Fucking Christopher Reeve is in that movie. Oh, and Bonnie Bedelia. he's got quite a cast he's had quite a career in the you know just helming those batman movies beetle juice like we mentioned like who you know he he could coast in the 90s even him straight dramas clean and sober from 88 is fucking amazing if you have yeah that was a

that was a definite uh i always remembered the VHS cover like at the video store because I always like the sweater he was wearing in the cover he looks wonderful in the cover he looks he's still good too like in spider-man homecoming he's like the reason i enjoyed that oh yeah sure and that's that second movie doesn't have him and it's a problem yeah no it absolutely yeah could have could have used something there and if it's to be believed by the way if we ever get this fucking flash movie and he's old batman bruce way oh fuck me opening morning i'm at the theater i am at the theater apparently he's going to be in morbius as well which is kind of funny if speaking of it ever

happens as Batman or as another character I imagine as as his as the vulture as the vulture that's a universe thing I mean they're both like

sinister six people is that right something something yeah by the way in this scene before we just put a cap on it it goes on the thing that this scene could actually work

and be kind of funny if it was like 90 seconds or more less like you cut some of the shit out like him going into a booth with Anne Kusack with two old people and like they're oh right I didn't like when they're trying to leave they're like throw it they're they're like pulling everyone's fucking

napkins and shit out there oh that's right he fucking he fucking totally disappears anne Kusack in this movie because like I don't even know if it's prime or number two but they fucking put a napkin over her head yeah oh yeah like they're gonna fucking interrogator oh is it her coat it's fucking crazy and it's just like we're gonna kill her now She knows too much, Eric. She's got to go. All of a sudden, this scene, it just turns into like a broad French comedy. Yeah, for some reason.

And I'm like, this is a family comedy. This should be in and out. Come on, guys. Then the next scene, he does finally make the third clone. He's like, look, you've got a friend and a roommate now. It's number three. He's going to do the housework while you do this. And I'm just going to fuck around jerk off and play streetfighter.

That's what I'm going to do. Yep, totally. And his, it's a terrible division of labor for. first of all, I mean, your clone has all your memories. It's you. Like, split up the time reasonably and all of you do everything. Exactly. Then everyone, everyone has three days off, but like, you know what I mean? Everyone has more time, but you're all working together at least. Exactly. We can all jerk off or maybe we can jerk each other off. Totally fucking daisy chain that shit and get back to it. Absolutely. Well, I'm doing work. You could be jerking me off.

See? And then we're just all working. We're all doing good stuff now. This is a great idea. to work and then under his desk is another Michael Keene that just sucks his dick. Look, I got to get off once a day. We can save time by just you doing it. I love it. But you see what he does.

Instead of building time with his family, he's doing things like the following. Bungy jumping on a cruise ship. Jesus Christ. Fucking off, like, at the last second deciding to go to a Laker game. By the way, alone. All of this, he's doing alone. Which is bizarre.

Speaking of alone, this is like the motivations of the star of Home Alone. Like what are you going to, oh, I went out for pizza. I guess we'll get to number four love his pizza. But like these are just such juvenile, dumb things he ends up doing. Yeah, you're totally right, dude. Like, where is him? Like, he goes to an ice cream parlor by himself. He's like, oh, it's my birthday.

It's like the big submarine boat of ice cream. It's, you have a character. You haven't fully explored, even though you're making many facets of him. We don't know his hobbies. We don't know his interest. And he doesn't know them. That's why he's like, oh, maybe sailing. That's what rich white people do.

That's what I am. Right. And it's the same thing. Like when he's at the fucking Laker game and you're just like, all right, I guess he likes basketball. Well, that's in the beginning of the movie, Obabuton, I should be like, hey, man, I got those seasoned Laker tickets anytime you want. Oh, man, I wish I could go out and hang out of my buddy and go see the Lakers. And then later on, he gets to go. And he's not a weird psycho going to a basketball game by himself, cheering to no one.

Maybe Richard Mazar is a guy with the boat and he's like trying to get close to his fucking boss. And rather than have this swinger vacation out on a fucking, you know, knife in the water fucking trip into the middle of the ocean. Kevin, I wrote knife in the water in my notes too. We're all clones of each other, obviously. We all sound like that same. So, yeah, this kind of goes well enough. This is what allows him to go to the lake again, allows him to whatever. um and you know obviously number three is much more and it's at first he's timid which is kind of fine like you know what i mean like hey we haven't talked about it i love these outfits that the clones have to wear when they get out of the clone institute really sharp nice it's it's a bit cultish it's like a white tea a white dress shirt buttoned all the way up with khaki pants and an interesting belt oh i guess i never noticed that was just like the standard uniform yeah okay yeah all right now i guess i see it um i didn't even acknowledge that

But like, so he's like doing all the housework and he's really good at it. And it's again, it's really early on. We're just grafting mealy-mouth gay jokes onto this guy, like really easily. I think it's after like his first real scene where he has some lines. I just wrote the note, why is clone three gay? Yes. It's just because the first he's a little timid like he's a little afraid of whatever. Yeah. But then it turns out very clearly like he's just like, oh my gosh. Nothing is worse than when he the this is how we do it scene. Where, like, the woman is trying to grind her ass against him, and he's, like, backing up and, like, doesn't want to do anything. And I'm like, what the hell is going on here? Like, if you didn't want to be here, don't be here. I don't understand this. And you know what? I don't, you know, who gives this shit? Show me a clone fuck a dude.

I don't care. Yeah, that'd be great. And, like, Harrison, like, well, you know, everybody has, you know, everyone's on the spectrum one way or another. Some people exhibit it different ways. This clone is much more gay than not. your other clone is much more heterosexual than not just how it works in the clone world that be something totally something you need that scene dude

you need it it's like well one of them's gonna be more your workaholic self and one's a little more queer than you normally are and that's just them's the breaks everybody that's my clone business I'm harris yule and there's nothing wrong with it yeah no but it's just like I need something of like oh like he has to go back to the complaint department with the first one and be like like, why isn't it exactly like me?

And Harris Eulen just has to explain sometimes when this happens in this procedure, you know, once dormant personalities personality traits become like the dominant traits and blah, blah, blah. You can't just be doing this movie. Okay, okay.

Your third one here, he is actually very scared of cooties. Yeah, he believes all women have cooties. It's bad. It's your clone, but it's you in the fifth grade. Now, I would, I would give him a cutie shot, but the vaccine hasn't been developed.

Yeah. This is how we do it. We're about to have Fargo sex in this weird room. You know for a fact that if Michael Keaton Prime did not break down that door, you could cut to them, and it's two twin bed, and they're just fucking these two women.

Absolutely. Yeah, and like, the more masculine one is really having it. having at it there's this weird character trait that the more effeminate one has where he's biting his sweater i don't know what that means yada yada it's probably not great that's what that means probably not great so then michael keaton prime comes in and there's like a bunch of like sitcomy stuff where they get rid of the women he michael caton prime by the way calls these two women

bimbss which i've never he's like where'd you pick up those bims i'm like what i mean look if you want to fucking insult these people. Why are you cutting out the bow? Exactly. To save time on a syllable? I thought they hired

prostitutes, but it turns out these are just girls that work at the 7-11 or something. Nice. You converted with the hot 7-Eleven what's wrong with that?

Like, so, you know, they're fucking dating. Well, they actually, they do start arguing with him in this scene. They're like,

we shouldn't have to live like monks, one of them says. And it's like, it's totally true. Like, you did not think this through,

Michael Keaton at all. And number two is the one who says, why don't you fucking clone your wife? Yes. All right. He already, there was another thing where, like, I think, in between these two scenes, before this scene, they make up rule number one because number three winds up sleeping in the same bed with Andy McDowell because it just got late. Michael Keaton was all jerking off somewhere. And, you know, blah, blah, blah. He's like, all right, rule number one, you know, nobody has sex with my wife, but we.

And there's this rule number two has to be, you can totally have sex. sex with whomever you want. You just can't do it here because it's going to get loud and weird. I don't want fucking condoms in the waistbasket and then Andy McDowell's fine. Teach them the soda can trick. Per usual, this is very easy. You don't got to worry about condoms too much. Yeah, you don't have to be slingshot

in those things out the window so they land on the driveway. Because the soda can, you've got plenty of Stroes cans to see them everywhere. I wish I read the IMDB Tribune before I watched the movie almost twice because apparently he doesn't wear a wedding ring

at all throughout the entire film to avoid continuity errors and it's just like oh fuck right because when this dude goes to work number two like he's going to have to have the ring when number three is in the kitchen he's going to have to have the ring right yeah you have to hand it off or make four which again that's a lot of money

right because it makes three well the fourth one doesn't need a right I mean if that's very true I mean if it's just like gold bands you can like get a tin one and just spray paint gold you know that's fair yeah totally In this scene, the fourth clone is revealed. And it's, I mean, it's kind of funny in the way that they reveal it.

Like, it's just, it's the one you don't expect coming unless you've seen the trailer. But, like, he's just there. And it's like, whoa, kind of a fun thing. But, like, again, I kind of want to see. Somebody's got to talk to Harris Eulen at some point. And here's the thing is, like, Harris Eulen, like, here's the scene where you could bring him back, where it's like, Harris Eulen shows up. And this is, presuming you just eliminate this fourth clone. and it's like, which is a great idea. Absolutely. But it's like Harris Eulen, like knock, knock, knock, or here it is. It's a phone call. Middle of the night phone call. Oh, Michael Keaton, you better get down here. And he goes down there. And it's like, this certain someone tried to pass themselves off as you and make another clone, you know, something like that. I mean, like, it's insane that he can go and like make the second clone and there's no scene at all with Harris Euland like maybe you shouldn't do this. It's going to be hard to juggle multiple.

versions of yourself. The end of this should just be like there was no Harris Eulen. This is like a split situation. Oh shit, dude. Yeah, it gets Shyamalan involved. Yeah, this is all in his head. This is like the absurdity of this premise. But yeah, so four

standing there and four is a little deficient I guess is the polite way to put this. It's just him doing a very bad developmental and disabled jokes. Left and right and that's all it is. It's it's like letty from of bison men but stupider kind of a thing and almost exclusively he's dressed like jami kennedy yes yes can't hardly wait jama kennedy specifically and of bison men is right though

because number two you know the the masculine one is like the overseer of number four yes and eventually he'll just have him like dig his own grave i imagine i do think like the way to do this and it would be less funny and more good cool for me is like oh yeah we had a problem with number four and it comes out and he looks like the dude in robocop gets the toxic waste all over him oh my god help me please and then you could just fucking kill it and you wouldn't have to worry about this character not aging well at all the king 12 truck goes right through yes exactly uh so there has been some business about one of his midlife crisis horse shit white dude things is

he wants to learn how to sail and Brian Doyle Murray owns this little sailing company or whatever and you know Michael Keaton there is a scene where he's like one of the big dog sale or something like that you know and there's this whole thing where like they're gonna sail to Catalina

and it's Brian Doyle Murray who's like fucking at least in his late 50s in this movie and here's Julie Bowen gotta be like still in her late 20s in this movie. Very unsettling the thought of these two sleeping together. It took me by surprise for sure.

I wrote my notes until I really figured out. I was like, is he her father? Like what's that? But no, they're... Oh, Walt. Yeah, I sold him a cheap clone. You never met that girl before. Yeah, it was a... He had a crush on the girl in the coffee shop

and then sure enough, he got her DNA from the garbage. I cloned her. bang boom he's married to the coffee shop girl and now i have julie bowen's DNA pretty good for me suddenly moving a lot of wayfair packages oh my god but the weird thing i mean like honestly it's a swinger situation because clearly like like he like the first scene it's like him and like uh what he call it him and brian doll murray and broiler was like oh you should come down to catalina well this should be great and then like uh julie bowen's like yeah you could bring your wife and you you both can have it and then like a bride doll is like yeah you know then you guys have champagne we go

away and you just make love it's important that you're making love on the same boat that we're making love on oh yeah ignore those cameras do you guys actually know the difference of what the age difference oh no i would love to it is stunning let's hear it he was 51 when this movie comes out wow by the way that's just a testament to brian don't murray looking older than he does, by the way. Julie Bowen, 26. Yep.

Yeah. There it is. There it is. There it is. Yeah, dude. He fucking stole a piece of her hair from the coffee shop. She was like, ow, what was that?

He was like, nothing. Clone. Yeah. I mean, I do think in the Swinger community, she's bait, right? Like,

she gets invited to all the parties and it's like, oh, and then I got to bring my husband. Hey. Totally. like a fucking retired hedgehog I waged war with Robotnik for many years

and now I'm taking it easy just retired had myself you know I got plenty of gold coins I loved Jim Carrey in that movie but dude if you put Brian Doyle Murray in his fucking dad or something that would have been great dad like grandpa Robotnik or something I'm into it

so like Andy McDowell there's like this whole scene with like her and number three there's this insane shit about like this is the right way to wrap up meatloaf yeah you know and this is what he like gives her hair tips too it's like very much

yeah yeah oh yeah because it's like oh if you did this to your hair would like give it a little more height a little more volume make you look a little more like Elaine Benison Seinfeld absolutely yeah which I was fine with but you know he also definitely has like a lilt to his voice which is never exhibited

by prime to like if you wanted to make the argument that it's part of his personality or whatever. Right, yeah, you're totally right. Nothing makes sense. Yeah, but this is like, so he like comes home and Prime comes home and switches places with three again and

now the whole get, you know, this is very succumbing like, weren't you wearing a different shirt earlier and then it's like, you know, what we talked about, blah, blah, blah. And it's that like he doesn't have the memory of what they talked about because it's like, you know, not his conversation. So he's like trying to

go along with it and he misconstrues the convo for like uh they're talking about like getting away on like a sexy vacation or something and he's just like oh well you know honey i thought we'd get out of here you know without the kids blah blah blah and then she's like you want to go to disney world without the kids yeah they're like talking about like going to disney world at christmas or whatever right she bought non-refundable tickets to her land oh big mistake your husband's using a clone army or not. Big mistake by non-refundable tickets. You got to talk about it first before you get to the NR word. They did. They talked about it. Oh, that's right. And then the other one said yes.

What's infuriating is there's no system between the clones. Yep. Or maybe you just fucking suck it up and fold some laundry, you ass. Explain to me or explain to her how you've lost $125,000 to this institute for buying three of you. great question there might be like a separate account because this guy's kind of a scumb bag right like he's probably opened a secret thing shit dude he's got a fucking burner cell phone he's building sacario houses out way out near the desert um so here's as we playing this game a lot lately because i'm i'm making notes about quotes from this movie and i don't attribute

who's saying what i know that this is andy mcdowell i think says this line what is the context of her saying throw harpoons at Peruvian basket weavers? No, he says Michael Keaton. Michael Keaton's like, hey, look, you always want to, he wants to take her to Catalina on this sex vacation. Yes. And he's like, you always

want to do this sort of thing. Go to Peru and blah, blah, blah, with basket weavers and such and such. I believe the line is throw harpoons at Peruvian basket levers. I could be wrong with. I thought that's what I registered, and that's quite weird. Well, yeah, y'all. I always wanted to be a colonializer.

always been my dream yeah the most dangerous game is actually quite thriving in Peru you know y'all I always wanted to subjugate the natives oh shit dude Andy McDowell isn't ready or not if there's ready or not with clones

oh there you go we gotta hurt my husband's clothes I really I enjoyed that movie I like it quite a bit totally fun movie I like it a lot so Michael Keaton Prime is like he's like hey uh three i'm gonna fucking take off for a few days and do this sailing trip

without my wife so you have to make up like the days and nights because two's got to go work all the time and then four is sitting there eating shaving cream uh so it's like i mean it's the most irresponsible and this is why like he really should have his ass handed to him at the end of this movie and he doesn't and it's just like i'm gonna go and even when he gets to the dock and Brian Dillow Murray and Julie Bowen are like, well, your wife can't make it? Do you want to just go another time? And he's like, no, no, no, let's just go now.

Well, that's the thing that they're both a little disappointed. Absolutely. I heard he was married to Andy McDowell. Shit. Yeah, they're totally, you know, bumming about this issue. You can kind of tell, I think, you know, we're making jokes.

We have a lot of fun on We Hate movies. Sure. Steve, I think you're totally right that this movie more than definitely is saying that this is a Swinger couple. Yeah, they are, I mean, they are really disappointed that, to the point where it's like, uh, maybe another time, maybe you bring her down here another time. Maybe we don't go at all. Would you see that? The boat just sprung a leak.

That's so bad. It just happens out of nowhere sometimes. And see you later, buddy. What if you went down to say, I don't know, a nightclub tonight, picked somebody up, brought them back, then maybe we would go. And the thing is, is you give me their ID and passport before they get. get onto the boat with us and i throw it in the water man like he forces him he invites himself he forces his way onto this trip and he's just puking the entire time oh yeah you know that from you went on this little like how do you know you're not i don't know the fact that he's so into sailing

all of a sudden and is unaware that he gets seasick is yes but this is like it's like a classic tenant of midlife crisis though right it's like i'm just going to jump into this fucking thing right whether i anything better or not they also just they never answer the question as to it like we would we kind of got to a lot which is what does you want what does you want to do what is the end game here yeah exactly so they're like oh he wants to go on a boat oh that doesn't work out well that doesn't give me anything by the way when they get down there i love the line he has sorry i hurled on your dog it's actually kind of great because i think brian doyle's reaction is very like that's all right happened before something like that yeah great

You know, not only does he not even bring a girl with him. Now, you know, we were going to play with him, and now he's puking a whole time. I'm not going to have sex with a puky guy. Usually we're on the hour 12 of the orgy before we start puking on the dog. Before the shunting kicks in. So while this is all happening, three is back at the homestead pretending to be prime. And this is where Andy McDowell is ready to fucking go in the bedroom. And this is a scene I did not remember, did not see coming, and still for the life of me, cannot

figure why it's in the movie. Question to the room, why do I have to watch Michael Keaton get jerked off in this movie? Because that is straight up what is happening. She is clearly jerking him off. Well, because she is like, oh, you know, he wanted to go on a sex vacation. I guess I turned him down too quickly. Let me really fucking rev it up tonight kind of a thing. Right, right, right.

And it's just like they eventually do just wind up having sex. everything and but he's trying to like three is trying to play by the rules and it's like no no no I promised I wouldn't fuck my own wife okay that's fine I'm just gonna like pretend that I have a headache or something like that and then like she is just jerking him off in this scene while like talking to him they're having like a full on conversation and he's getting fucking yanked here uh which is very weird and so they have sex there's a big like lightning storm that and again like here we are back and now this is admittedly a very weird like HBO after dark sitcom but it's a sitcom nonetheless of like three and her have sex and then like she goes downstairs to get a

glass of water and like two sneaking in the apartment for something in the house two has run out of food hiding in his little man cave oh right because four has he the gag is he ate all the cereal and everything he linked all the pizza are they not allowed to get dominoes they have to go out like what's the situation here i think so because like annie macdallan's going to bound to notice a fucking domino's delivery truck going to the garage well that yeah right that's the thing is like you got to slink out on your own and do some carryout kind of oh man you got to get that insurance yeah you want that pizza insurance dude for the long walk back to your weird clone hideout so then two fucks her on the couch and then i i think it's the bathroom or something somehow four

gets in the house and he's just he's hard as a rock constantly he's got my pee pee my pee, and then she's like, this is hot for the third fuck of the night. Let's get weird with it. Four leaves the apartment because a thunderstorm happens, and he's afraid of thunder. So that's actually a problem in this

movie. This gentleman is afraid of thunder, and he's now fucking this woman. Yeah, and so the whole like... Dude just comes in with a thunder shirt and puts it around. You're good to go, buddy. Just wrap this around your rib cage. You're fine. It's like a big hook.

I was scared of the loud bangs outside. Now I'm banging. And he's like, oh, man, my peepee. My pee pee hurts or whatever he says. It's a whole insane thing, though, because, like, after she has sex with two is when the storm really kicks up. Because she has a great line. It's not a great line, but it's hilarious how she pronounces one word because she goes, Oh, Doug, I forgot to shut the windows in the Volvo.

And that fucking first O in Volvo lasts for, like, three and a half minutes. minutes. It was kind of weird. So that's why like two runs out to like do that. But then like four is the one that's fucking soaked because he's just been standing outside in the rain. And then yeah, she's like, oh, let me get these clothes off you. And he's just fucking hard as a rock. And she's like, oh, another time. Well, I guess so. And I was like, Jesus Christ. It was weird. The first time was really sensitive and sensual. Second time was rough and crazy. And the third time, he just jerked off on my feet. he didn't last at all it was real weird the three very different experiences with my own husband and she's like a dumb enough character

I guess to think that four is just him to the point where she has a conversation with four later in the movie and he's just like I want pizza

I want pizza and she's like well fine I'm leaving it is so dumb that she falls for this it really

they do not respect this character at all She's falling for this. An an anvil fell in my head. I would have loved it. If they had set up earlier in the movie, like he just goes around the house saying, I want pizza.

I want pizza. And like try to set up that he would want, that she would believe he would just say something like that. Exactly. Like, hey, honey, what do you want for dinner tonight? Eh, how about pizza? I want pizza. I like anything. By the way, I just thought of a great another Twilight Zone type of ending for this movie.

Ooh. He get, Prime gets back. with his wife at the end and they go to sleep or whatever and then he noticed, she like rolls over and he notices a two on her ear. Oh shit. And it ends with a big like scream like, no!

And then it just cuts and it's like Andy McDowell with fucking Julie Bowen and Brian Doyle Murray just sailing down the kettle. They're all fucking naked including the dog. Andy McDowell is a fucking Turks and Caicos is fucking on the beach.

Love it. No, or the end you know they get back together and she's like hey can we make love like we did that night and he's like oh what like really sensitive no oh what really rough no could you just push your your boner into my stomach until your orgasm you didn't know what you were doing it was hot as hell y'all it was like fucking an alien you kept on saying pee pee pee It's so awful. When you shoot, could you yell, I won't pizza? That was so sexy.

I still can't get over the fact. She gets, she gets, you know, she gets fucked by all these dudes and never knows. I know, it's crazy. It's insane. And so, like, we get to a thing. I mean, it's, it's so not, you know, barely worth mentioning. But, like, Michael Keaton Prime loses his job because three gets fired by Otho, who's like a fucking, like a, municipal inspector or something.

The great Glenn Shadex, please, some respect if you don't mind. I wasn't going to be able to pull his name, dude. To me, he will always be Otho. He was great. I'm sorry that he died because he fell down the stairs. This is a great Beetlejuice reunion here. It is? No, dude, I actually had it in my notes. Beetlejuice is talking to Otho right now.

It's great. So, like, two is sick with, like, a flu or something, so three has to go to the job site. And, oh, he doesn't remember anything except folding laundry. Otho is the building inspector and he gets fired by Richard Maysar because now the build is pushed a month

because they have to do a re-inspection. Right, because Otho's like, you know, I don't know what's going on with this guy, but he is not a qualified contractor. I'll be back in, oh, a month. The joke is they think he's on drugs because he keeps having to run to the room to call to. Again, because he should know

what the fuck building construction is because he's been doing it for a decade of his life. Yeah, I, you know, Otho may as well have been speaking fucking a totally alien language. I didn't know what he was talking about. Oh, no, sure. But like, his whole argument is like, I'm asking him these basic questions about this shit and he can't

answer it. And yeah, he's also running out of the room to sniff coke constantly. It's stuff like, okay, why did you put like one gas line into the kitchen instead of the usual two? And like, he can't fake the funk at all, even though he's supposed to be a contractor. Yep. So that's dumb.

He gets fired. This is the whole like the I want pizza thing, which causes her to leave with the kids. That's like their big fight. She's trying to like, just like explain. It's a weird thing where isn't she coming to like kind of apologize to him for some reason? No, at first she comes home and she's like, hey, and it's number two. He's like looking for medicine or something. She's like, you said you had this big inspection and you couldn't push it.

That's why I had to do all this stuff for my job. He was like, well, baby, I missed it. whatever and she like and he's like doing asshole michael keaton stuff because he's the asshole michael keaton at this point right she runs off and then she runs into number four who's just hammering a nail into nothing and she's just she's like you know you do all this stuff and she is trying to apologize like i just wish i knew what you want i want pizza right yeah yeah yeah yeah look we can't have sex now you can't use your sex talk here don't talk dirty talk about pizza y'all you'll get me all worked up again some of these clones are gonna start

talking about pizza gait. You don't want to shut that down. So she fucking leaves and takes off. And then so Michael Keaton comes back from his failed orgy and is like, hey, what's going on? Where's my whole family?

They're like, yeah, so it's about rule number one, first of all. And they just sort of come clean about, hey, we all fucked your wife, by the way, while you were out whatever the hell you were doing. Good. You know, fuck Prime. Absolutely.

Yep, totally. Totally. No, fuck me. Fuck you, Eric Siska. How dare you? Doug from multiplicity, you cannot do this to your family. It's a disgrace. This is Optimus Prime, by the way, not Harris. Yeah, I got a little confused there.

Yeah, good call. Good call. So, yeah, so there is a dumb as donkey shit scene where like, Prime is trying to interrogate number four like where did she go blah blah blah and like the whole gag is like as if he's like getting him liquored up you know he keeps

pouring him coke at your Coca-Cola and he's chucked like watching Michael Keaton chug this soda good God I was a Coke ad by the way yeah oh this Coca-Cola sure we're on this scene for like three minutes of like look at this delicious Coca-Cola

yeah I'm sorry as a kid I loved this joke I thought was the funniest fucking thing I ever heard she touched my pepe oh no no no just the the coca cola the coca cola bit oh yeah so funny coca cola as a social lubricant yes yeah as a kid that's the closest you got to fucking is like the ecstasy you get of fucking having coca cola run down your throat absolutely and now i'm just thinking about like sticky sugar mouth and hands and oh god damn it that's disgusting kevin sticky sugar mouth oh man uh yeah But it's all, you know, he's like trying to get information, like, what happened?

Oh, she touched my puppy, Steve. He keeps calling him Steve for no reason. Number four, why don't you get under the desk, give me some of that sugar mouth. Oh, don't get me all riled up by calling me Steve again. Oh, my goodness, Steve is in the house. So Michael Keaton decides that the way he's going to get his family back is he's going to make all the clones help him fix the house is the idea. We have a big fix-in-the-house montage.

He rehires Eugene Levy, and this, my friends, I think, is the greatest joke in the movie. Yes, I agree. Eugene Levy, not even acknowledging that it's four of the same person in front of him. You said you have your own guys? Okay, and it's just like total dead pan, total dry. It's such a perfect moment. Levy delivers the best line in the movie in the best delivery of any actor in the this movie. It is so fucking great.

Solicited a big belly laugh from me. And so they do it. They fix up the house. It's a big getting things done montage. Fart rock. It's day effects fart rock. If the house is a rocking, don't come and knock in. What fucking song is that? And it's, it happens

so much. Like, the levy like it starts going. They start doing stuff. Levy shows up. They have a scene. And then it picks back up again. And then there's another scene with Prime and three. And then it picked back up again. I'm like, oh my God, shut up with this nonsense. That's the thing.

They keep cutting back to this conversation with Prime and Three, where Prime is basically like, hey, so how was it fucking my wife? Yes. He's got to ask it about it. I mean, there is a line here that Three is like, hey, man, you know, you're talking about you wanted quality time with your family, but like all time with your family is quality time. Like, three is the one that helps him kind of like realize what's going on here. Not that there's any real consequence that befalls this character.

Look, Doug, you're just a piece of shit. okay i've known this for quite some time i didn't i being you also dug i looked inside and i found pure shit and that is who you are i do think though like to your point it is it's a great joke the eugene levy joke but you need one it is also kind of a missed opportunity in a way of like he's the only other person in this world that knows about these clones like maybe we can talk about it for two fucking seconds no but it's a joke it's fine it's a fine joke and it's also too late in the movie to do that I guess. But you did just inspire another idea though, Steve, like

another thing that this movie should have, because it's this kind of a movie and it's missing this kind of a character, there is the nosy neighbor who in reality knows what's up with the clones, but like the spouse

or someone in the family or something of the neighbor's family, like thinks that they're crazy. Yes. You know, like some old lady looks out the window like, there's two of them or something. Sort of something. You know, and then, like, she's trying to say it to Andy McDowell. And, like, there's, you know, like, you're missing that character who's in on it the whole time, but nobody believes them.

Or then, and then you could have a moment where, like, two comes home, has a sandwich, it's talking to prime. He's like, yeah, you don't have to know, you don't have to worry about Mrs. Olson next door there. Yeah, I buried her. I fucking murdered her because I'm the Butch one. Yeah. I finished the Olson project last night also. I fuck bimbs and bury old ladies. I'm the butch one.

Sometimes I bury the bimbs too, depending. How do you like my I fuck bim's t-shirt? I'm pretty nice. So Michael Keaton, after the house is finished, goes to the in-laws. This is, we got fucking Colonel Grandpa here in the front lawn with the kids or whatever. And he's trying, again, like this is the scene

where it needs to be, like, you, you, You, Harold Ramos, as the director of this movie, need to be directing Michael Keaton. Like, all right, Michael, you've been exercising your comedy muscles a lot in this movie. This is like, turn on the dramatic work here. You're apologizing to your wife. You desperately want her to come home. And instead, it really just reads as like,

will you just fucking get in the car? Yeah. I have something to show you. Will you just get in the fucking car? Just let me finish. You know, and it's just like, again, I'm not feeling shit for this guy. No. And again, Michael Keaton can inspire whatever, like sympathy and empathy and all that stuff. Absolutely. And again, he's great in this movie. They just don't write this character well at all.

It's all script problems. I think the whole cast I enjoy. Yeah. No, there's nothing wrong with anyone in this cast. It's a horrible script. Maybe, maybe recast Julie Bowen. I don't know. Just one man's opinion here. Don't want to. Okay. Sorry. The age gap lover thing is specifically what I was referencing when I said that. And I love it. so yeah it's basically like uh you know come home or whatever she's totally in love with the house of course it looks great it's got to be like a completely different set that they constructed you know kind of kind of a thing um but the house is finished and again just like you can feel

the credits you know getting their coat on ready to fucking rev up to go on screen and i'm like where is harris you Yule it. Yes. Who knows. But in this scene, we also get him mentioning he's going to start his own contracting company, you know, and it's going to be more relaxed. Like, he's not going to be building these soulless condo buildings. He's going to be working on just regular people's houses and have more time at home.

Right. The work-life balance lesson he should have learned without human cloning. Yep. Yep. Absolutely. And he doesn't really learn any fucking lesson. He learns that, like, oh, good. I had to go to all this trouble to make three clones of mine. myself and that was the only way I finished the home improvement project. That's how I guess they

must pay off the clone debt because he'd be sunk otherwise. If Prime was still like saddled with that debt, he'd be sunk. But they start a pizza place to get rid of the debt that they have caught. This is fucking insane. So the three clones are leaving, right? And they're going to Miami. Yeah, they hit the road and drive to Miami from L.A. And they've opened. three guys from nowhere pizza in that fun also known as three guys without social security numbers also Harrison Eulen says like oh when he when he clones the first one he's like well if you just come right here I'll give you a duplicate identification so they have social security cards but it's all done Kenny yeah which is fun so get ready for the biggest

audit of your life time absolutely do you own a pizza franchise dude you are totally right man no shit, right? It's like the sequel to this movie is fucking Doug Kenny getting thrown in goddamn white collar jail for tax evasion. Yeah, because gruff fucking Michael Keaton is also like doing some

drug running on the side. Just to prove he's a man. Sure, sure. That's a great point. Like what happens when there's a warrant out for your arrest? You know? Oh, sure. He gets extradited to Florida. Oh, God. What if what happens with one of these clones dies? Yes. You know,

clone number two beats clone number four in the head with a hammer or like they find number two like bloated and full of cocaine in the harbor they're all going to get sued i'll tell you why because they fucking stole their logo from pet boys you're totally right you're totally right i thought the same thing and i don't know if you know who runs pet boys but it's not the fucking boy scouts they're not clones either they're fucking gruff guys with hitters they cloned a lot of fucking pipes to hit you and yeah like there's just there's so even in this like because it's like I think it's two is writing to him or something and he's like yeah we open this business blah blah blah and it's like everybody's right at home and it's like well three well of course he does all the cooking obviously and then four is the one that's like the delivery guy who also has a paper route and the joke is like he's throwing pizzas like their newspapers that is fucking funny every everybody. That is really funny. Also. And it's, yeah, can I just say

these pizzas look like shit? They look gross. It looks disgusting. Oh, it's pizza in Florida. The fuck do you want? It's smiley face pizza. Get the fuck out of my face. If I, if I ever if I ever ordered a pepperoni pizza and it fucking came and someone made a smile

with the pepperonies, I'm going back. I'm returning that piece. Exactly. You're like, did you come in this? What is this? What is this? What is this? But also it's just a poor distribution. of pepperoni you want it on every slice absolutely yeah there's definitely going to be slices that are just plain slices because you had to be cute with your pizza construction all the pepperoni is around the rim here like i got it's a real rim job it's terrible speaking of rim jobs we see number

two uh mac and on the lady oh of course straight dude dude he loves it he loves ladies and i don't know if we mentioned it but the three of them are leaving her fucking house and she sees them and she's like no y'all i must be just dumb right i'm just stupid you see when you fall back in love kids you see him everywhere that's that's you know oh how do you know when you're in love when everyone you see reminds you of him no you're looking at three clones lady you know you know you're in love when you realize you've been fucked by a whole car full of men without your consent and you're not all that mad about it y'all jesus i forgot about that stop sign that is so fucking stupid and then the only

fucking decent part of this movie is it ends with a song from the specials and I was like, okay, I'll take some two-tone at the end of this fucking movie and there it is, man, just outrageous this movie. Insane. Absolutely insane. So all that said and done, I know there's a lot of personal histories

with some of us in this movie. Would anybody recommend this movie? It's a light recommend for me. It's super like, it's all over the place. like the more you watch it, the more annoyed you get with it when you think about it intellectually, even at all. It's kind of a hangover movie for me. If it's just on, it's TV, you kind of get to spend time with four Michael Keaton's. It's not the worst place you could be. And yeah, I watch

this twice at a week and I hated it both times, but I wasn't ever like, oh, man, I have to watch multiplicity again. That's, that's me. Right. Chris Gavin. I was definitely like, oh, no, I have to watch multiplicity again. The second time, because I also watched it twice before because of the scheduling screw up. But like, yeah, I essentially feel the same way as Steve. I watch this too many times to not tell everybody that they, you know, can't see it or shouldn't see it. Like, I watched this a hundred. This, this was on all the time in my house. Uh, and, you know, I really love Michael Keaton. I think he's great in almost everything he does. Even that dumb fucking dumbbo movie. Great. Fantastic in it. Oh, right. I forgot he's like the ringleader or something.

He's like the villain essentially. Oh, he's the villain. Okay. Uh, but he's, he's very good in it uh but and like i i never got the thing why people don't like andy mcdowl i think she's really good yes i've never understood that that that problem uh and yeah this is a great cast and i'll support i you know he's gone now but i support erald ramus all the time right uh eric cisco um yeah i guess i'm going to slightly echo what the other guys said that uh for me it is a light recommend i could definitely see it being a hangover movie situation because it It's a comedy that's quieter. If you've got a raging headache, you know, with a hangover,

I feel like stuff like Jim Carrey, Ben Stiller, Adam Sandler, like that's just loud comedy. Sure. This is a good, like, niche for that. And also, it's kind of a curio or watch it like, it's a weird concept. The poster's killer, by the way. I really enjoy the post.

Great poster, but a little bit misleading, though, this poster. You think there's going to be an army of Michael Keaton. That's, oh, my God. That would be a movie. amazing. They like take over the police station and start to wreaking havoc. So it's a light recommend. And it will truly be a planet

of Michael Keaton. Oh shit, dude, that's what I kill myself, I think. Because I'd just be like there's a planet of people that are way better than me. And it will truly be a planet of I want pizza. Oh, God. I watch the Michael Keaton kill my son.

And now I'm going to kill all of them. Somehow it's also John Lithgow with a memory problem in that movie? I'm going to be the one that's a hard pass on this. I just I feel like, you know, after all

these years of dancing around watching it all the way through and finally watching it, I just, I have no nostalgic tether to it. I really like Michael Keaton. Andy McDowell, I could take her leave, although you know, in later years she's done some cool shit. But like the fact that

you have a cast such as this of all of those actors that we've already mentioned and you do so little with them and we've just sat here you know for a few minutes here coming up with like avenues that this movie missed or could have

gone down and I just feel like there's just way too many opportunities here missed opportunities rather to fucking say to anyone that they should watch this like if you've watched it already I could already see because I was kind of trashed it on like letterboxed and Twitter and stuff there's all that you know what it's fucking fine it's just I got

to it goddamn 25 years too late and I don't care and just a, it's a hard pass for this guy. The thing is, Andrew, I think you probably have the right opinion. Yes, I think you're biased. There's a lot of mythology here for me, for sure. Yeah, I mean, just

look at the way it treats disabilities and the gay panic of it all. Oh, absolutely. For sure, I think it definitely doesn't hold up, but at some level it's charming to me. Right. Yeah, no, I get it. I mean, it's like, but again, you got folks like

Oba and BDM and fucking Ann Cusack, Eugene Levy, Mazur, fucking Harris Eulen. My goodness, just this embarrassment of riches. It's just, and it's a bad script. Oh, yeah. It's just, and it's, you know, it's also, was apparently based on a short story by one of the people that also wrote the screenplay. You get the hell out of it.

What are the guy who wrote Animal House, I feel like? Yes, well, because this was a big, like, National Lampoon, uh, you know, sort of, um, alumni movie in a way. I did not know that. I mean, the Doug Kenny reference is very noticeable, at least. But it was like Chris Miller who wrote, was one of the writers on Animal House. He also was, oh, you know what?

He actually wrote another Harold Ramers directed movies. One of the writers on Club Paradise with Robin Williams. Oh, that was terrible. Yeah, that actually might be a solid stay tuned. Moranis, Peter O'Toole, Robin Williams. was fucking Jimmy Cliff is in that movie? That's how you should have ended this movie is really Michael Keaton's house.

It's the most important part of the movie is Michael Keaton's house. Two and three playing Who's Hiding Dick? That'll be great, man. But that is multiplicity from the year of 1996 directed by the late great Harold Ramis. If you would like more We Hate Movies, of course, check out patreon.com slash We Hate Movies. We got a lot of stuff going on in the month of all.

August, even though we are, as of you listening this, you know, time-wise, we are on vacation, as it is. So you can go there. We have the 500th and first episode on Superman One. That's going on next week, my friend. That's all right. That's right. That'll be up. We are taking a little vacation, but the show isn't, you know, next week. We've got our 500th episode. That's right. It is happening. And if you are not hip and you did not get the Big Daddy dispatch, Steve Sadek, take it away. Yeah, next Tuesday, we're going to start celebrating 500s a week of episodes.

A whole week, kind of. On Tuesday, we are releasing a episode on Superman 3 Redux. It's a movie we've done before about nine years ago. We've changed our opinions and our comedic style since we wanted to give it another shot. And on Thursday, we're doing Superman 4 for the same reason. We did both of those, again, nine years ago. A lot has changed.

It thought it would be fun to sort of revisit that that is kind of a victory lap. And good thing to clarify, Steve, because I did see some of this floating around on some message boards and Twitters and whatnot. We're not just using the opportunity of our 500th episode to replay shit from a decade ago.

We actually record it. It's all new material. It's an all new show. Both episodes run about two hours like they do these days. And we didn't listen to any of the previous episodes besides our intros. So it's going to be a new

experience the jokes if they repeat repeat that's just um you know our inner brain thing we did it was one of our clones did that and on uh friday of next week on patreon only will be releasing our 5001st

episode which will be Superman the movie which we've never done before which is one of my favorite movies period everybody on this show had a really great time with it it's it's great it's a real great celebration of Christopher Reeve and that movie on the Patreon And our animation damnation this month is on Inspector Gadget because this is kind of a quasi stay tuned month and we somehow never did Inspector Gadget, which is available now.

And then also we got Jar Jar Binks coming on the Gleepe Glossary, big get for us. And that's not all folks. We got another Nexus episode recapping TNG and Star Trek, the original series that is coming soon. And speaking of Star Trek, we are going to be re-releasing again, a little, the other, an actual re-release of, the star trek nemesis commentary that we did years and years ago though we had an issue with the hosting site so that it's not really available anymore so we wanted to give it to our patrons along with their subscription so we're going to drop that this month on the patreon feed that's right so all of this coming up or has already been released in this month uh which has been really

really super great and we're coming up to the the tail end of the season here so stick with us through these dark days of summer and it's going to be a lot of fun next week celebrate rating the big 5-0-0. So until then, I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Sadek. Eric Siska. Chris Capp. Take it easy. That was a hate gum podcast.