We Hate Movies - S10: Episode 502 - While You Were Sleeping (with Chelsea Jupin)

Episode Date: August 25, 2020

On the season ten finale, the gang welcomes Chelsea Jupin back to the show to celebrate Christmas in August with a chat about While You Were Sleeping! How many false memories does Andrew have about this movie? How long are they slipping on that ice? And should Sandy start slowly poisoning that creepy super? PLUS: This Christmas, While You Were Sleeping 2: The Murderer's Brother! WHM is donating 100% of our 2020 merch income to causes fighting for racial justice. For more information on how you can pitch in, head over to our website. While You Were Sleeping stars Sandra Bullock, Bill Pullman, Peter Gallagher, Peter Boyle, Jack Warden, Glynis Johns, Micole Mercurio, Michael Rispoli, Ally Walker, and Monica Keena; directed by Jon Turteltaub. Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the program, it's Christmas and August. It's while you are sleeping. I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Sadek. Baskin Robbins. Chelsea Jupin. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone. Welcome to We hate movies. Thank you for tuning in. As always, that's right. It's the podcast. It's the podcast. We hate movies. Thank you for tuning in. As always, that's right. It's the podcast.

We're just calling out ice cream names. We are pleased to be joined, of course, by frequent guests this season. My beautiful wife, Chelsea Jeepin, how are you? I'm all right. We're talking about one of your faves here. This is while you were sleeping from 1995. Yeah, this must be a little... We love movies, right?

That's how this is going? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, yeah. Directed, of course, by Disney's own John Turtle Tau. Oh, you got yourself a Turtle Tub there. You look at this guy's fucking filmography man, and I'm fairly certain that he lives

inside the Magic Castle at Disney World. It's all episodes that list of his. But it's all like Buena Vista movies, just like all the National Treasure shit. I was looking at something else that's also Buena Vista. The kid. Bruce Willis is

the kid. Did he direct that movie? Yeah, he did. He grows up to be a loser. Oh, that's right. Spencer Breslin. That kid actually grew up to be a loser. No, I don't know that. Now of course this is the beloved Sandy Bullock rom-com.

Now Steve Sadek, you own this movie on VHS cassette, is that correct? I do indeed. And Chelsea was like, oh, does that mean you love this movie? No, it just means that I found it in a random... Well, you know, you thought, Andrew, you thought that I loved this movie. Chelsea was like, yeah, he just found it in a garbage dump, which is actually true. Yeah, Chelsea knows you better than I do, apparently. You like spending a dollar to get a VHS tape with some bedding.

bugs in it. Where are these dumps with these VHS tapes? I'd love to know. No, by that I mean like a Nostoria Queen's vintage store that sells couches mostly and there's a weird little rack that has VHS tapes on it that some of these grandfather left

because he's dead. Oh, so it's like impulse buying like you were there to buy a fucking disgusting couch and then it was like, ooh, before I check out, add another 50 cents onto that couch tab. I guess so, but not for me. Me and my wife actively seek this stuff out. But the reason you're bringing this up, Andrew,

is because we have another round of the VHS trailer game. Absolutely. Thank you. I was going to say normally this is where push a button and then a little theme song would play, but thankfully Chris Catlin has covered it.

So now people are going to be confused and think that this is an ad. This is not an ad. It's not. We should clarify. Well, let's wait 15 seconds and then start, because everyone's going to skip to that. The good news is, actually the bad news, I should say. There's one legitimate film here. One, because it's a Disney tape, because it's Buena Vista or Touch, is Touchstone, I think.

Buena Vista. Hollywood Pictures. Hollywood Pictures, but it is a Disney. Which is a Disney offshoot, yeah. And distributed by Buena Vista, as said in the credits at the end of the movie. Because I watched right till the very end. There's one legitimate film and two Disney animated films. Oh, fuck.

animated in 1997, like you'd be advertising for animation in 96. All right, so I'll give you the, I'll give you the, let's, you want to build up to the real film or do the animated for, or do the anime, or go in order as they went. I think the animated might be the softball, so let's lead up to the, I don't know about that. All right, so the first animated trailer, uh, was a, is an old, an older Disney film released for the first time on VHS. Yes. And the clue that I will give you is Bet Midler. Oh, Oliver and Company. Slam!

Look at that. Nice, it Chelsea. One for one. Wow. Now, this one, the next one, is a sequel to a Disney animated property. Return to Jafar. Wrong. Fuck!

Fuck me, fuck. But, and I will give you a couple of clues here. Okay. It is a sequel. I mean, I should say. it is the it's a sequel and it could be

it could be the second movie could be the third we could even the fourth movie who knows see that's where I fucked up yeah the one of the trailer lines

is a character saying my father is alive and the other one is take part in the wedding of the century is it a Cinderella sequel no my father is

is it the third Aladdin movie it is indeed do you know what that's called Oh, it's, um... I'm not even gonna pretend. Iago's party. No, that's the fucking directed DVD bonus disc movie. It is Aladdin and the King of Thebes.

Yes. Where it finds his dad or whatever. I, which I saw both of those. And I will say the trailer's hilarious because I was watching my wife last night, Jen. And she, they showed Robin Williams in the voice booths because they're like, and featuring the return of Robin Williams as the genie. and they it's very much like look he's here he had like a newspaper basically yeah totally there's a fucking laser scope

on his forehead but so did that mean that who did they have for return to Jafar was it Castellanetta? No no Robin Williams came back oh yeah oh yes Robin Williams was I'm sorry Kestenolnetta is in return of Jafar right because that kind of came out right when that

TV show was going on Marty shut up of it is called the land of the king things I want to make sure yeah so yeah and also John Rees is in this movie. Might be a state tune. Oh, shit.

I think he plays his dad. I saw it one time, like, right around when it came out, and I couldn't tell you think about it. Is there is some sort of wedding going on there? And Jerry Orbach, I think, is the villain, which is kind of rules. Oh, man. Well, yeah, okay. I'm sure that's not a considerably cast.

Yeah, he's playing Saluk. Yep, definitely not. Well, I've been fucking got Scott Weigner as Aladdin, so you know what? Oh, well, I guess that's true. Yeah, lad, and I'm coming to kill you, you see. All right, so that's a legitimate film, and I will say, this features, this also has Bill Pullman in it, and an embattled, a currently embattled celebrity. Oh, Mr. Wrong. Wow.

Chelsea Jim's got two for two. Wow. With one. And surprise, Chris Cabin usually wins at games. No, no, no, I'm bad at this. Okay. I owned Mr. Wrong on VHS. So that, yeah, speaking of VHS that shouldn't have even been printed or. Was it like a, was it a, I really like this movie and I'm buying it and watching it a lot? It was, it was my sister really liked it. And sorry to put her on blast on a podcast.

It's a strong stay tuned, I'd say. Oh yeah, for sure. It's a really wild movie. Well, so that's, that's all the trailers then? That is just, just the three. Excellent. We got to do. more movies that you own on VHS team. Maybe we should like backwards program some stuff because I really like playing this game. It's a fun game, y'all. I'll dig through the crap. This movie, it's so super 90s

also in just seeing like Hollywood pictures and caravan pictures logos up front. Like that fucking caravan pictures logo, that poor sad old hobo walking down the street. You know why I always remember that one is because in front of their

jerky boys they did a little bit where they pretended to be the voice of the caravan pictures guy. Oh, yikes. I don't need people interacting with the logos. That sucks. I didn't, I don't remember our episode. Did you have jerky boys on VHS yourself?

Oh yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Did you own it? Was it an orange, I think it was an orange tape. Orange tape, orange tape, orange tape, just like Johnny Neimanis. I love it orange tape. And the first Rugrats movie. I also remember being orange tape. Orange tape, orange tape, orange tape, three orange tape. And also just another with the opening credits.

I noticed the font for the opening credits while we're like cruising down the L train in Chicago, all these beautiful shots of Chicago. This is a super Chicago movie, which I give it points right away for that. But the font on these opening credits, a little too casual, I think. They look like like if you had a pad of paper

with a personalized thing on it, it was like a to-do list. That's the kind of like cheeky, casual font that this is. I feel like you need a little bit more of a romantic-looking font for the... Or like a holiday-looking font. It's a Christmas movie. Yeah, like Halloween.

Like, yeah, blood-dripping tie. That would be, like, what I would think of this movie as. You'll never believe what happened while you were sleeping. See, it works right there. Actually, that's a great idea for a movie. It's a slasher movie where one person just sleeps through the whole thing. And then wakes up and goes, hey, what? Wait, what?

While you were sleeping. We killed all your friends. Sandra Bullock just, like, litters his place with, like, bear traps and stuff while he's sleeping. Can I posit a new legislation? Can we just ban this will be from movies from now on? I mean, it's just, it's been in enough movies, I feel. Yeah, this one feels like a real classic to me, but going forward, you know, this movie is like 20 years old. We can do that now.

We can do like an EDM cover of this will be or like a slow down version. Oh, Jesus. You get Gary Jewel to cover it, you're saying? I'm looking at it now. It's Natalie Cole has 54 credits. It was also in Shazam, this will be. So that seems like way too much at that point. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Shazam the superhero movie? Yes. Oh, yeah. I didn't notice it then because I was really struggling to give a shit while watching the movie. That's a sleepy movie. That puts me to sleep.

Oh, yes. It was like drinking a glass of warm milk. I tried to watch it a couple weeks ago just because I wanted to catch up with it. And I just didn't. I was like, I don't really want to watch this right now. And I just kind of stopped. It's just, it's a fine movie for kids, but I had no business watching it. That's kind of what I thought.

Now, I think a good place to start because it is permeated throughout this movie. Like I said, this is definitely an on location Chicago movie. Chelsea, you pointed this out last night. This movie is cold as fuck. It's a freezing cold. movie. There are very few scenes of people not wearing coats which you don't realize

you don't see very often until you watch it. You're like, oh yeah. Can I point out that there is a scene early on without a coat? And that is when we are getting a flashback to the days of her with her father while they are

looking over a bridge and he's telling her the tale of the magic garbage barge that's going up. She's just like looking out wondrously at a garbage barge. I did not recall this flashback at all. I've seen this movie maybe like somewhere between like five and ten times. Yeah.

And there's a big TV movie. My sister also. I think my mother actually owned the VHS also. Your sister loves it. Normally she and I text during the holidays about how we're watching it. Right. Do you, do you, is this a Christmas movie for you, Chelsea? I mean, I feel like Christmas is incidental in this movie and maybe I'm wrong about that.

No, for me, this is a Chris. I rewatch this every year. Christmas. Yeah, absolutely. But I could not, like, if you were like, Andrew, how does this movie start? I'd be like, I don't know, Sandra Bullock in the L, like, you know, coin booth kind of

a thing. This, like, whole like golden hour flashback shit, it reminded me of another movie we rewatched recently in quarantine. The flashbacks that you have in D2, the Mighty Ducks, where it's like Emilio Estevez thinking about, like, his old days, like,

playing pond hockey and shit. And In both cases, it's flashbacks I don't care about. I mean, this dad seems like he's on his last legs. He's just like looking out over this water. It's like, well, Lucy, sometimes life doesn't work out the way you figured it would. You see, if you live to get down on the garbage barge, you can find a lot of fishheads and scales. And you can strip the cats that hang out for meat. But then she mentions later, and I don't know if I had forgotten or if it was just the first time I had sort of,

place the timeline that her dad's been dead for less than a year. Yeah. Yeah. This is a recent update in this woman's life is that she lost her dad after a really long illness. But the flashback makes it feel like this dude's been dead for like 25 years.

He has to have died the next day. This guy had like one leg over the bridge he was about to jump off in the flashback. I will say that this movie did, just because we're in the dog days of fucking summer here, man. I was looking at these coats. I'm like, get me a coat. Get me some chill. I haven't been on a subway

in a while. I'm, I'm ready for all of it. Yeah, absolutely. Everything but a hospital looked really appealing. Absolutely. Can I ask you, were you a big Sandra Bullock fan in general? Um, yes, but a choosy Sandra Bullock fan. Okay. She's made some movies that I think she regrets as well and I'm oh for sure yeah and you regret watching them also is what you're saying some of them yeah I had been suggesting at one point when this was just something you were talking about because part of the reason I'm on is because there was just the storms up here in uh New York that one of the Sandra Bullock movies I regret whether or not she does I don't know is forces of nature with her and Ben Affleck that's a bad movie it's a it's a rehab movie no one of

No, that's 28. 28 days? 28 days, yeah. No, Forces of Nature is like she and Ben Affleck are both trying to ghost. It's a real planes, trains, and automobiles kind of thing. I have seen that movie. I saw that movie in the theaters, actually. I saw that in theaters, too, with my whole family.

Wow, family trip to see Sandy. Yeah, we were a pro-Boloch household. Yeah, I'm a fan. And this movie is what started it. I saw Speed after this. Oh, really? So to me, this is my Sandra Bullock. start.

And where did the net land in all of this? I've still never seen in the net. Oh, that's fine. Same year as this. Oh, really? She had this and the net in the same year? Same year. Wow. So speed was, because I'm not looking at her IMDB profile right now, but like speed was

the one. Because that was the year before, right? Yeah, speed was the year before. This was also a pretty big hit. This made a good chunk of change. I don't think the net did, if I remember correctly. Right, but so speed is the, is the movie that starts the sandy 1990s around. See I would have guessed that the net was 93 for some reason. I'm just thinking like the technology looked that bad in that movie. And this movie is

95 then is what I'm saying? I would have because I remember I saw this in theaters twice and I would have put it in 94 but I'll believe the internet and I'll hear if you're telling me it's 95. I thought I remembered the friends I was with being friends from fourth grade. I was done with them by 1995, I thought, but I guess not. I guess we were still. I could have sworn I flushed those fuckers. Some hangers on. Just kidding in case they listen and they happen to remember seeing this with me. I don't mean you. I mean the other person. However that works out. I, this is Sandy Bullock running a foul of a train again, by the way. Every damn time. Yeah. So yes, she works for the CTA, the Chicago Transit Authority. She's a person.

who you just you gave them your little token and they allowed you to walk through which was at one time a job. Right. Now it's a job for like two pieces of metal with a scanning thing on it. I mean I think that they still have people in the booth.

Yeah but when was the last time that person helped a single soul? Oh never. But you know they're there to at least in New York anyway. I think the ticket booth people now in the New York Subways are there like in case of fire starts and they can just call the fire department.

And when a guy starts masturbating, hey, hey, hey. I think in general for comfort, too, because if there's just a human there and like some old person goes up and doesn't understand the machine. Yes. A lot of that. Yeah, I feel like that's it. Yeah.

Who can't figure out the machines too. Yeah. But it just seems so weird because like half of this movie, like when you see her in the booth, like she's not even looking. They're just throwing, like you could have thrown in anything and just walk through. you could throw it in a nickel. Because the machine works, right? Oh, no, she gets it and then they just go through it.

Yeah, she's got a little tray, like a window thing. But she's looking at the little dish. I mean, we don't want to spoil the ending. Oh, actually, that's true. So presumably if you threw down a nickel, she'd be like, ah. Right. So it's her in the booth. She's doing a little voiceover here.

We get some Peter Gallagher running in slow motion to start us off. A 1995, Peter Gallagher, by the way. He's such a dreamboat, but what's such perfect casting is he's an approachable dreamboat. Like, he does look like just a guy who works in Chicago, who's really handsome who you see on the train. It's a perfectly cast movie. Those eyebrows can do bench presses, though. Oh, my God. Things will take you in from wherever you are.

It's kind of one of my favorite shots in the movie is, I mean, spoiler. Is when his eyebrows take the train by themselves. Yeah, they're finally old enough to take the train by themselves. They're going down to the loop all on their own. No, there's a shot like a spoiler alert when he comes out of the coma at the end of the movie and he's kind of just like looking around. Not only are the eyebrows like shot straight up, but he's also like super bug-eyed.

And it's like this dude is staring through time with this look. It is quite the facial expression. The left eyebrow just wicks up and sees the right eyebrow. I thought you were dead. I thought we were both dead. I never thought I was going to see you again, Ritey. Righty and Bill. Ritey and Bill, the Peter Gallagher eyebrows coming this fall to CBS animation.

Now let's start Darton. I will say, I will challenge you on this perfectly, he is perfectly cast. Sandra Bullock playing somebody that works for the CTA or the MTA or any government agency. Any A. Any A is complete horseshit. there's no way and also like that no everyone's just like walking past this totally gorgeous woman in the in the in the in the in the the the the the the the toll booth and just being ah well and like you just never see this woman you would always see sandra bullock is my opinion i hear you and i don't want to be the person who just keeps defending this movie because that's not funny nor is that the point of the show it's us against it's guys against girls today uh but she's describing the the past few years she had she only moved to Chicago because her dad is sick and she needs to go to a better

hospital. She's working all the time. She's just getting whatever job she can. She doesn't have a college degree. This is a movie that I feel like does enough of the homework to make the rom-com ridiculousness mostly work other than when you start to think about like holidays

for this family beyond this year. Like everything while you were sleeping too is a nightmare. of a situation. Hell itself. Hell itself. Everyone. I mean, they do enough sort of padding to make everything make a little more sense, I think. I, I buy Sandra Bullock and the role, but because, well, mainly because Peter Gallagher, as we find out, is mostly, is like with Ali Walker while this is all happening. Yeah, that makes sense. Um, but like, yeah, like, I think she's fine for the role. It's just the tone is entire, this is an incredibly sad movie. This is like a, this is like a Todd

Salon's like strand that like escaped and became its old movie. Yes. And they just put like the wrong music over and everything. But it's an incredibly sad movie. Well speaking of movies directed by dudes named Todd though, Cabin.

Like I was reading on the Tribune Tribia Chelsea's shaking your head, get ready. I will make this make sense. There's a second Todd director is more what I'm thinking. Absolutely. Get ready for this. Todd Fields was going to do this? No, no, no. No. Now, now on the Tribune trivia, it says that this script was

originally written and the Sandra Bullock character was a man who saves a woman on the tracks and all the producers were like, eh, that's kind of creepy if a dude is doing this, why don't we swap it? And good call because if this was a dude, this movie is fucking Todd Phillips Joker.

It's 100% the Joker, especially with this monologue where she's like, my Prince Charming and blah blah, blah, and you're hearing her internal thoughts about this dude that she sees every day, he shows up on, he catches the train anytime between 801 and 8.15 a.m. Oh yeah, that's creepy.

Like, if this was Joaquin Phoenix, fucking Territown, guaranteed. You are totally right. This movie with a male lead is an incel fantasy, and I want no part of it. So I'm with you there. This, like, charade

are movies where it made sense to switch the genders. Also, to your point about how they make her balanced, another thing, that rom-coms always blow crazy out of proportion and they don't do it in this movie. She's a person who takes the tolls at the booth for the CTA. She has a CTA worker appropriate apartment.

Yes, yeah. She's living in a big-ass multi-unit building. The apartment is not that big. Fucking Jackie Appreel is her goddamn super, which I'd be fucking out of there once the lease was up with this creep. Yeah, but he lets her break window. with Christmas trees.

You got to... Oh, yeah. Well, the father is the fucking push over there with that, this old dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My favorite thing about that

is that he... She's trying to pull the Christmas tree up through her window from the ground floor. And she drops it and it hits Rospoli's father's window.

And he yells up, Lucy, as if this is happening all the time. Well, presumably she's who lives above him is what it is. Or, but is this not her

first time with causing trouble? That's possible. I feel she's a little bit of a woody woodpecker in this movie. Maybe she does it every Christmas. It's possible. Is that how she brings her groceries home? She fucking yanks it through the window. Once you get that pulley system together, Chris, I was going to want to use it. Yes, Steve,

if you spend money on setting up a pulley system outside your apartment, dude, you got to make it work for you. I do think that the whole point she's doing this is because if she as a woman tries to lift this up herself, Jackie Appreel, Michael Rospoli, is going to be like, oh, let me help you with that. And then he's in her apartment,

and then she owes him a favor. Like, no thanks. I would rather break all the windows of the apartment building than talk to this fucking creep. And then you get that smell, that smell of like rotten roast beef in your house for like a day. And it's not going away. That dude just smells like cured meat, guaranteed.

Much like Benghazi is not going away. I'm sorry. Not happening. The other motive of carrying things that she has that she shows is she carries her Christmas presents in the sleeves of her sweater. She goes to give it to him when she's, he's filling out the paperwork for the window, and it's tucked in the sleeve of her sweater. And she just like, does she just like yank it out, like fucking taxi driver?

It's the best. This is something I aspire to in all of my winter wardrobe is, is sweater. that can be big enough to keep my Christmas presents in. Or actually, that kind of keeps you from like buying shit that's too big and getting crazy at the holidays. It's like, oh, I'm sorry, Jimmy, that Tonka truck doesn't fit in these sleeves. It's one of my favorite little moments in this, and I couldn't let it go by. I didn't even notice it. That's crazy.

I'm going to have to show you when we watch it again at December. Fair enough. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, you asked for a hardcover copy of Infinite Chess. Oh, God. Oh. I hope someone got me a sling for Christmas. Christmas because my arm is sprained.

Uh, so she is, um, met, uh, by her boss here, uh, and the, the boss is like, created this whole ruse about how she's employee of the month. And then it's like, eh, you know what? Let's cut down to brass tax here. You're the only one without a fucking family and you have to work on Christmas lonely heart. Sorry about that. It's fucking shitty, man.

Yeah. This is like a dark, dark turn for this movie. I don't know. Like it's like, she's like, you always do this to me. I really wanted to enjoy Chris. I was like, well, I'm sorry. And like, no, it's a union job and she's got rights. You know what I mean?

Like, absolutely. Yeah. The guy is a little too likable. It's Jason Bernard from Lyer, Liar, and he's just like, you played a little too likable for me to what he's actually doing to her. Who is this guy in Lying, Liar, Liar? He's the judge. Oh, shit.

Yeah, you're totally right. He's also the boss on Herman's head. I'm 90% sure. Yep, he is. Oh, wow. I find him to be totally delightful in this. this movie. And I mean, he's being a taskmaster to her.

Like, it's really bad. It is bad, but he is a delightful character. The problem is, and I think that this character, they should split this character in half. There should be the shitty boss character, and it can totally be played by him. But she needs, like, a Kathy DeGimi-esque girlfriend that she goes to, and

every so often when she's like, I don't know, should it be Bill Pullman or Peter Gallagher, yada, yada, yada. That should be that girlfriend. A. It would make this character of Lucy less sad. Like, She goes out in the town. She goes to the bar. Like, it's not this fucking really sad woman dressed like Neil Gaiman this entire movie.

I do wish she got more time with the girl, co-worker, girlfriend. Oh, Celeste. Who she hosts the New Year's party. She, her closest friend seems to be Michael Rispoli. Yes. I'll be honest with you, which is not good. Man, that sucks. Everyone should have better than that.

Yes. But yeah, she does, she has this friend Celeste played by Marcia Wright, who's been in a bunch of things. She was in multiple barbershop movies, among other stuff. Oh, she was just in the hate you give a couple years ago. But, like, that's the character. Like, that's, she's got the friend.

They just totally got that role. And even when they have the New Year's party, they're there for, like, eight seconds, and it's not even really a scene. And then, you know, it's just Celeste is relegated to the little ticket booth. I don't think Celeste even goes to the wedding at the end. Was she there? I don't think she was there.

Oh, well, Sandy can't have time to call. Well, because the boss is there. Is Celeste there? Then you should just put up something by the copy machine, like, hey, I'm getting married. You guys are the only people in Chicago. I know. Fellow CTA employees, please come. Three janitors show up for free ham. Exactly. Exactly. It's interesting, though, that you say put something up in the office because the funniest thing about this boss character is that like until you see him at that New Year's party.

And then the two seconds when they're in the hospital chapel at the end of the movie, this guy has to take all his scenes out in the cold. He's got like a fucking like binder or something and he's like just working. They're at like a hot dog car. He's standing like on the side of a bridge at one point. Like I don't know if he's just like out and about

like around the subway stops but he won't go up to the platforms or something. He appears to her like we just did this on animation damnation. the boss from inspector gadget like it's just he's coming out of a fucking tree Jesus Jerry can we go inside and go to a coffee shop or something no I got to be out here with the people

yep doing business we get we get a quick little montage of her decorating the tree decorating the apartment for Christmas and whatnot and Steve Sadek we thought of you last night it's a bluesy Christmas song then

we might be fucking on Christmas we might be get these fucking harmonicas out of the Christmas music, it's awful. That and the score of this movie is outrageous with the piano. We could lower it a little bit. I've always really liked the score, but last night I was listening to it,

and I was like, this kind of sounds like the music in the Sims when you're picking, like, their houses and stuff. Oh, wow. And that's not a thing you should sound like if you're a movie score. No, not at all, but you just sent me flying through time with that reference. I spent a lot of the times bricking up the Sims in a bunch of walls. Yeah. And that music played the whole ding-dong time.

Next, when we watch this movie again in December, you're going to hear. I think that's where they got the idea of the, in the beginning of Sicario. Oh, yes. That makes perfect sense. Yeah, I think so. Just breaking people up, man. You got to do it. So, you know, here's the big scene, Peter Gallagher, you know, running to work.

It's Christmas Eve Day or Christmas Day? it's Christmas Day because she's working right yeah of course Christmas Day yeah um and I I have like I said I've seen this movie a lot it's been a while since I've seen it in its entirety and actually Chelsea I think the last time I was home when you were watching it it was already like into the movie so I missed the falling on the tracks

I had a completely false memory of him like having a minor stroke or something and passing out I missed the mugging entirely which is so much darker Like, no wonder you think this movie is weird. That's so creepy. And the all of a sudden has a stroke in the middle of the track? Well, I mean, what's friendly and light about a mugging? It's at least something like a stroke implies then of another couple of years of rehab.

Yeah, then she'd really be screwed. Mugging is Todd Salins. The stroke is more of Ventrere move. Got it. That's where we're going to head after that. Dude, these guys should be wanted for attempted murder because they're like going after this dude for the scarf and shove him on the track. Yeah, you need to find these fuckers, dude. Check every fucking Chicago Polish social hall you can find.

They're bad muggers, too. They don't get his wallet or anything. Are they really just going at him for the scarf? Like, how much can I, like a nice scarf? That's not worth mugging someone over. No, definitely not. I mean, nothing is worth mugging someone over also. Most things are not worth mugging over.

A marble rye, different story. But if you're going to do the scarf, get the jacket. I mean, come on, guys. He's dressed impeccably. Hey, you, give me those eyebrows. Get the fuck back here. Oh, your big Nike eyebrows. Look at you.

Hold on. I got to call my eyebrow fence. I got a couple of Peter Gallagher's. Oh, my God. I've been waiting for you for a long time. Oh, my God. It's a leftian bill. Oh, God.

There's a collector in Colorado. He's going to lose his shit over this. Oh, hair collector. Eyebrow Aficionado magazine. It's either Peter Gallagher or Martin Scorsese. Who else could you have on there? Groucho Marx. Jack Nicholson.

Oh, for sure. Those are different kind of eyebrows. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I like that. Brooke Shields. Good eyebrows. Oh, Eugene Levy. Oh, of course.

And now Dan Levy. They did like a father's son cover a couple years ago. Rachel Vise around the mummy. Yes. Those are good eyebrows. Demi Moore. yeah also an eyebrow is it monthly or weekly

Steve what's the frequency I think we do it's a lot yeah cousin it of course yes for sure ultimate eyebrow yeah the Demi Moore cover I remember was famous

because they got her eyebrows when they were pregnant and they photographed oh shit oh man that's my fetish oh my god finally oh gross so yeah he falls on the tracks

of course she jumps down to save him. There's an odd line and it's like played for laughs obviously. It's kind of funny but it's also weird when you think about it. She's like trying to save his life the train's barreling down and she's like oh god you smell good. Can I stop for a second saving your life to just say you smell

good? Again you flip the genders and man are you creeped out. This is the worst movie at the gender sweat. Yep dude fucking Joaquin Phoenix just sniffing zazzy beats unconscious hair. Yeah. She jumps down to get him. I'm thinking she's saving him. When she says

you know, oh, he smell good. I'm like, oh, we're going to, let this train take both of us now. It can't get better than this. We'll be married in the afterlife. Oh shit, ghost wedding. The eyebrows scream out one last time. So he's rushed to the hospital.

This fucking nosy-ass nurse over hears her, you know, and again, it's an insane thing to just say out loud, God, I was going to marry him. And that, you know, starts our whole insane sitcom miscommunication of this lady then fucking tells everyone on earth that this lady is engaged to Peter Gallagher, including the old doctor played by, did anybody look this up? No. The patriarch of the Cusack acting dynasty, Dick Cusack. Oh, of course. Yeah, exactly. He was in like 15 movies. Probably Chicago royalty for sure. Yeah, no, exactly. That dude fucking dined out.

on free sausages for the rest of his days and the house of Cusack and the house of Piven oh in that fucking town right and it just it spreads like wildfire in this hospital I've never known a hospital staff to be so Gabby because it's a good story

she saves her fiance they think because it's all the nurse's fault and not Sandra Bullocks there you go now but if that nurse was played by a dude it is I mean it all it is all the nurse's fault until the family shows up.

And it's so easy to stop and be like, hi. Yeah, I guess what? I mean, I know this wouldn't be a movie, but like, yeah, actually, I just said that the nurse misunderstood me. I wanted to make sure that he was okay. I'm certainly not his fiance.

I will leave you all to it. By the way, I saved your son's life, so you're welcome. Goodbye. And then I remember no one would even think twice. Steve, I've seen you in some awkward situations. You are one to talk. There's no way you would do this.

You would be in all their family, photos. You would be Sandra Bullocking along with her. Well, if I got to marry Peter Gallagher, I would do anything. What about if you got to marry Bill Palman? I think still great. Even better, probably. Better career. I disagree there, but

better career? Better career? Oh, no, definitely better career. I just, I don't like Bill Pullman. I kind of realized, I've kind of come to realize today. Blas for me. At all? No, I mean, like, in Independence Day, I'll give you, for sure. He's great. It's a fun performance.

it's really good. I was a couple of last week actually. I think I got a little bit high and I was like, you know, I want to watch something. We were talking about rewatching space balls. It's on Amazon Prime. Excellent. I put it on and I got to the Bill Pullman bit

and it's him and John Candy and I'm like, I just wish this was anybody else. I wish it was anyone else than Bill Pullman. I don't think he's as funny as Hollywood seemed to think he could be. Precisely. I think he's a great actor. Yeah.

But I will give you that I think this is as funny as he can be as while you were sleeping. Mr. Wrong, Spaceballs, those were maybe asking a little bit much. I mean, I just love him as a presence. I think he's incredible, like, Lost Highway he's incredible in. Yeah, you're right. Okay, I guess it's drama is yes, comedies no, for me anyway. Yeah, no, and I think that's totally fair. But I think, Chelsea, you're right, that, like, he is a dude who can,

do like this exact amount of comedy where like the laughs come mostly through a channel of like charm yeah like he's so goddamn charming in this movie it's sickens me but like all of the laughs that he can get and get away with are because he's also so

goddamn charming you know what is actually a good comedy with him in it is the zero effect oh yeah that's a good movie he's really good in that that's one of those movies like did it ever get like a DVD release oh yeah I had that DVD. Oh, really?

Don't be talking to me about Zero Effect. I know. The history. I've been trying to see if they're ever going to put out like a really good Blu-ray. They are not. Yeah. The company wrote back. Dear Mr. Kevin, please stop writing. Yeah, they wrote back with a fucking cease

and desist letter. So let's, you know, we mentioned the family. So we got the fucking old ass all-stars here. Peter Boyle. Glennis Johns, the mother from Mary Poppins. Yes. God damn Jack Warden as like the friend of the family who's just like a fucking widower now. So he's hanging out with them.

He's fucking great. That's the three old people, right? Well, the mom. Oh, yeah, and then the mom. No, but. Oh, it's funny because her name is Mikul. Yes. Yes.

Oh, that's right. What an odd thing. Yes. McCull, Mercurio passed away four years ago. Oh, she's in Flash. stance actually. Can we talk for a second about, so yeah, it's them and Monica Keena, who was 15 when this movie was filmed. Is she adopted? Was there, was she a foundling? Was there a wish? Because I mean, Peter Boyle is this woman's biological father? I'm going with

foundling. Okay. No, I think when you're Catholic sometimes it happens and you didn't mean for it to. You are fucking dead on, correct. That's what that is. That is a... That sister was an oops. Yeah, it was, they had one of their famous wild Christmas parties. With too much of the eggnog. Yep, yep, Peter Boyle forgot to pull out.

I just feel like they're mid-50s and she's like, oh, I'm pregnant. He goes, are you serious? Yes, yeah, exactly. Although, here's another option, just going to throw it out there. It's Chinatown syndrome. And that, you know, like this, maybe, see, they don't mention a dog daughter. This doesn't really work if there's a daughter, but maybe it's like Bill Pullman or

I guess Peter Gallagher, it's Secret Kid. And then it's like, we're just going to rate, you know, maybe like Bill Pullman was like fucking 13 or something. We're going to raise her like one of our own, never say anything about it, you know what I mean, until like

we're all dead and gone and then you can have that awkward conversation. So it could be a Chinatown slash Jack Nicholson in real life situation. Listen, Mitch, I had sex with a prostitute and Nevada came to reap. We got to go. It would make so much more sense that she would be Bill Pullman's daughter or Peter Gallagher's daughter. I mean, she's just so young. Or Jack Wharton had an affair with McColl.

It was like, don't worry about it, baby. Nothing can happen between the two of us. Look at us. And then it's just another big Catholic oops. Although Jack Wharton's Jewish in this movie. That's true. Do you, so I thought that Monica Keena and Sandra Bullock were going to become like best friends. in this movie. They become friendly. They play it up that way. But Monica Kinna kind of disappears because I don't know what to do with her,

which is fine because it was a little too long anyway. It is. I'll give you that. The third act is a little. Oh, yeah. It's got two third acts. It's like act three and act three point five almost. But yeah, because it's also tough

when you're juggling a movie where like every family member has like something to do, like especially at the jump. Eventually someone's going to fall away. Like after Monica Kina totally mucks up the works even more with a second overheard thing about Sandra Bullock being pregnant and then she just fucking goes and blib-blabs that to everybody. Then it's like she's just out of the movie. Plus it's her winter break.

She's hanging out. She's too busy to hang out with her family too much. Yeah, her brother's in a coma. But like she made plans with friends. Dude, honestly, Chelsea, you hit the nail on the head with, yeah, he's in a coma. No one is like, I mean, a coma is a fucking serious situation. Like, you know what I mean? Like every minute counts and like every, it's always like,

oh shit, if he doesn't wake up tomorrow, there's going to be permanent brain damage. And everyone's people are sobbing. It's like a half death. It's like a real fucking, they're just going home. They're doing like an hour of, an hour visit every couple of days. Yeah, I'm not a doctor, but they do seem very like, it'll end soon. Let's just wait it out, which I don't think is usually how that goes. But it is at least how they've decided to treat this movie.

And the doctors aren't, like, giving them much information. They're like, well, the world turns again. And, like, that's it. Like, it's not like any updates about, like, oh, he had, like, a bad night or anything like that. It's like, well, I got to go get some coffee. Well, maybe peacefully sleeping. It's like, not really. Yeah.

But you know what? Here's the thing, guys. The holidays only come once a year. Yeah. You know what? Like, what are you going to do? Plus, the hospital's probably got, like, skeleton staff. it's Christmas. This guy is probably like, he does one case a year and it's like, oh, now he's in charge of a coma guy.

Right. Well, the one thing that they do put in this, so they all come in and like the awkward thing is like, oh, this is Lucy, his fiance, and she's like, ooh, ah, ook, and, you know, they're doing all that stuff. And then it's overheard that the grandmother has some sort of a heart condition and it's, she'll die if she's not his fiance or whatever that is. And the solution to that is, let me just tell a couple of you away from Glenys John's, and you guys can fucking figure that out. After I've long disappeared into the cold Chicago night. Exactly. But, I mean, Glynis John, in this movie, though, she does such a great job. She is so good in this movie.

She's fucking hilarious, but also, like, because of, like, you know, just the age that she was at the time the movie made and was made and, like, her voice sounding so fragile, I fucking totally believe she was, this, like, glass figure. that would shatter at any second. She's just this gentle old grandma. It's a great performance. And is she the only of the older cast that's still around is Jack Warden still on? No, Jack Warden passed away.

She's the winner. Peter Boyle and his aggressive baldness are gone. He is aggressive. That's what you call that. That's aggressively bald. When the skullet starts dipping down into the looked part of the skullet, like the back half and you're losing the mullet look of your skullet, that's what he's got in this. a famous skull.

Him and Hulk Hogan were famous for that skull. Right. But like his dips down to the back of his head more than Terry Belias does. My whole reference point for Jack Warden

was Problem Child. Oh, he's John, what's his face is dad? John Ritter's dad. So I kept on thinking like Peter Gallagher was Jr.

Grown up. Oh shit, dude. How did he go from fucking red-haired Jr.? Like this dark as the night

black Peter Gallagher. He learned that you have to blend in to really make some real trouble my Jack Warden reference point is dirty work yep me too that actually started playing against me while watching this movie

Steve because I mean the fucking false memories with this movie I'm watching the movie and I'm like oh yeah at some point in this movie Jack Warden dies and because it's like Jack half of this movie takes place in the hospital and Jack Warden is in most of those scenes

And I was like, oh, Jack Warden in the hospital. Yeah, he's going to die at some point. It's totally just pops and dirty work where he's in the hospital and dies. Makes it out unscathed. There's no deaths in this movie, actually. Zero deaths, unfortunately. The kill count remains at zero for while he was sleeping. Real short kill count video.

But so there's all this stuff like they're like, oh, you're the fiancé. You must have stolen him away from, what is it, Ashley, the other girlfriend. Ashley, Bartlett Bacon. Who everybody fucking hates. Well, with a name like that, wouldn't you? Bartlett Bacon? What Peter Boyle says that she was awfully full of herself for someone named after breakfast meat. I could quote most of this movie.

I did watch it again last night, but I didn't have to. You rewatched it with like an air of like, well, it's on and you have to watch it. It's funny, though, because I was about to be like, oh, like his last girlfriend and I was going to name somebody like Tiffany sausage. I kept being like, that's a poor name, that's a poor name. Like, Bethany Sausers, Brissidy, you know, it's all important. Like, bacon is okay. Sausage is not. Yeah, you can't be sausage.

Just go with Linda Oatmeal. Linda Oatmeal is okay. Oh, God. Finally, someone's doing it. Stephanie Eggs. So Sandy kind of like gets the hell out of there and she goes back home only to be fucking harassed again by Joey Jr., which I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen. and Joe, he could be Joe, you know, he's a Joey Jr. This is a Joey Jr., though.

Like, well, yeah, he's a big man, baby. And he's like, oh, hey, baby, I got us ice capade tickets. Like, it's like the cultural event of the season. And he does do an excellent job at portraying it like he thinks it's the cultural event of the season. Like, oh, this is a hot shit event. Have you ever seen Aladdin on ice? It brought a tear to my eye. Oh.

They got John. Reese Davies, baby. What were the ice capades? Weren't they like, it was like a ice skating show, but I think it was Disney-oriented? No, that was Disney on Ice. Oh, that is just Disney on Ice? I think any ice capades is just sort of like an ice show

that's like sort of fun and breezy and kind of, yeah. So it's a type. Dancy lights and stuff like that. Right, I get all that, but I'm saying like, is it a type of entertainment? or is Ice Capades a brand, or was it a brand? That I don't know. I think it's closer.

If I had to guess, it would be a type of entertainment. Yeah. Okay. Like, are we talking Kleenex, Q-Tip kind of a thing here, you know? I don't know. People will let you know on Twitter. Yes. All you massive Ice Capades fans out there,

let us know, because I ain't looking it up. She's got a great cat in this movie. It's important. Two great cats in this movie. Which you want. And it almost passes the cat Bechtel test, but those cats don't talk to each other about and not about a human.

So that's sad. They're only talking about dogs. Oh, there is a scene around here. So the big thing, and again, this is where, now Steve, you got a big problem with Jack Warden in this movie. There is a scene where Sandra Bullock, like, you know, just

feeling down and alone decides to go back to the hospital. And she's talking to Peter Gallagher in the coma still, of course, and just like lays it all out. Like, this is what fucking happened. yada yada. Jack Warden through the glass he hears all this, this old man

hears this? He is the best here and over all the hospital noise. He has the best sentence of anyone ever. I can't hear my wife in the next room, so Jack Warden's got me beat. I was waiting for him to take out like the end of a phonograph thing up against it when put it

in his ear. But you know what, Sandra Bullock, you need to learn a lesson here. You got in trouble and I'm a consummate mutterer myself and it's something I always have to like don't mutter yourself but like she got in trouble for muttering to herself

all right don't go back and start talking out loud again to no one it's only serving you poorly yeah well I mean here's the thing though it's a person in a coma

and what do they always tell you with those people just talk to them they can hear you we think they can hear you just talk to them I think it's fine for you to talk to them just don't confess

you know your secrets to them maybe yeah maybe don't let the whole dime drop it's sadder than that though man because this whole monologue is about like how she understands how pathetic it is that she's in love with someone that she's never met before

it's fucking devastating and I think we're still at Christmas yeah it's still Christmas Day I think at this point and again she's dressed like she's about to enter the fucking dreaming with dreaming with this incredible Neil Gaiman coat it's quite spectacular

I think it's the best coat in the movie sorry Peter Gallagher They're trying to, again, like, desexify her a bit and make her look schlubby, which is very difficult. So it's like, I don't know, maybe it's a circus tent that she wears. Like, you know what I mean? Everyone in this movie does look pretty schlubby. It looks like they bought most of the wardrobe, except for Peter Gallagher's, from like J.C. Penny.

Yep. Which tracks for the family. It's totally accurate, though. It's really, it's got some nice details in the wardrobe. I've always liked it. Absolutely. I mean, I like that this movie also is just the whole. family is like working

class and Peter Gallagher is the exception because he's like a big time lawyer whatever. So it just keeps everything grounded because you know what? Here's the thing. At the end of the day they're not rich pieces of shit so I can actually care for these people. I mean Bill Pullman is like Magic Mike.

He's making furniture and like trying to like make a life that way now. I need a scene in this like furniture studio that he's got. I need a montage where he's dancing to Genuine's Oh, me, that's what you said. You read my mind.

You know, just making a chair, genuine blaring. He's got his fucking shirt off. And then, because it's Christmas, once Pony finishes, it just switches over to some sort of, we might be fucking on Christmas harmonica riff, and he's still just doing it to it, shaving wood off something. It would be awesome.

Bill Pullman just grind against Matt Bowmer. Oh, yeah. Our Independence Day. Bump, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, So which one of you ladies got something for me? Here comes. Here comes a sectionage. Please welcome to the stage, a fictitious president of the United States.

I'm gonna call you Big Bill. Oh shit, dude, if they make a third magic mic movie, Bill Paulman, the guy who's like, he's done his last dance kind of a thing. And then half the audience lives like, I thought it was Bill Paxton. I wanted to watch Bill Paxton script. Oh, he's been dead for years. Oh, that's going to be a problem. I mean, I'm not talking out of school,

and I'm not reporting anything. But Bill Pullman was a little excited when Bill Paxton died, right? Littleest bit. Just a tiniest bit. Yeah. That's one less thing I got to worry about. Well, yeah, maybe excited is the wrong word. I would say maybe he was a scotch relief.

Yes. Or like his agent was glad. Yeah, all right, that's even better. I don't need to ask, okay, this is, this is, who is, you mean, Independence Day, right? Not Apollo 13, right? You're looking for the right guy. Dude, that'd be great. Like, like, the news rings out around Hollywood that Paxton passed away due to fucking medical incompetence. And then the phone rings at the Pullman estate. It's like, Bill, Bubba, did you hear the good news? You're the only Bill in town. Yeah, I do love the

idea of just like Bill Pullman coming in, ah, I'm coming in to read for, uh, yes, thank you, so much for picking me up for Big Love. This is excellent to read for that. Oh, wait, I'm looking at it. You want it packed. Yeah, no, I'm fine. I'm just not, I'm not going to read. I'm just going to leave. Thank you guys. Thanks everybody. Thanks for your time. I'm not going to waste your time. Just could you please? Could you just validate this parking? I mean, I haven't even been here for 10 minutes. How many fruit baskets do you think Bill Pullman's wife got when Bill passed? Enough that they ate on them for days. Yes.

Poor Bill Pullman's wife. Someone's like, oh my God, I'm so sorry about your husband. Oh my God, what happened? homer's not dead he's in the backyard oh so i heard you're making a sequel to twister you know we had somewhat similar circles you might want to think about you know getting me on board i was great in dark waters you know dude he's just fucking playing the same character they didn't even change it's just helen hunt and bill paulman you know i think me and helen would have great chemistry i honestly think you know it's time for a hell and hunt bill pullman movie Marty, shut up. So the most awkward thing in the world

is the invitation that Sandra Bullock's character gets. What's her name? Lucy. Lucy, yes. They're like, the family comes in, like, the next day or something, and they're all to hospital again, and it's like, oh, well, you know, because all the craziness that happened on Christmas we didn't get a chance to celebrate, we're doing it tonight. Why don't you come to our house? This is an absolutely

not situation. But how can you not go? And, like, as far as they know it's your fiance's family yeah i know it's tough well she tries though she's like oh i got to work this that and the other thing i do have to constantly remind myself in this movie that she has literally no one right so exactly she needs kathy to jimmy or her friend celeste to be like hey how's it going yeah what do you come to my house for christmas what do you come to my house for new year you know or she does she does have new year's eve plans i was shocked about by the way well she's going to Celeste's house

even Ricky Lake in baby cakes had a better social structure to her life than she does it's amazing it should this should not be and it's not like she's you know is seemingly like annoying character as I'm thinking she seems like a pretty

down to her side from like fantasizing about Prince Charming every day in her inner monologue but other than that I'd hang out with Sandra Bullock in this movie absolutely she's played more obnoxious characters what was that Ryan Reynolds movie. Wasn't she about the proposal? Or was the

one she won the Razzie for with her and Bradley All about Steve? Oh, that's a trash movie. I think that might have been what I was definitely thinking of. Yeah, because I don't think she's that bad. No, what is really bad? Oh, you know what's really bad about that movie? Is Betty White Raps in it? Oh, that's tough. Yeah, because they do something. Remember they do... Are you thinking of the wedding singer? These are different movies.

She goes to the house is the big thing here. It's the big trip to the house for Christmas. Christmas too. And Jack Warden is hiding in the bushes prepared to fucking take her out. He sits her down and says, well, listen, you know I know that you're not who you said you are, but

you know what? You're now damned for all eternity because if you don't say that, you'll destroy these people or whatever the hell he said. Is this where he doesn't call her up right here though, does he? Oh no, he doesn't. No, this is where he talks about like, you know, I'm very close with them. You We don't know. He has hurt her already, clearly. Yes.

But we don't know yet. He's trying to intimidate her a little. Oh, right. Because he's like, you know, I love these people like, they're my own family. Yeah, you're totally right. Don't you hurt them? Yes. Yes.

She's like, I would never. Right, right, right. And I think he believes her. Yeah, I think he definitely, he totally, I think like even though he has the intel, the whole movie. Yeah. He understands that she's a good person. I think she also tells him around here about like dead dead. dad and we moved from Indiana

last year. Right. It's kind of a thing. And look, Lucy, if you decide to hurt this family, I know some guys who can come to your apartment and they'll take care of you and you'll be bye-bye. Nobody will know. Nobody. We'll throw you in the Chicago

River. So this is like, man, I got to tell you what, looking through family clips like this, no thanks. I do not like when the photo albums come out and this is like to give you like a little bit of background on Peter Gallagher, I guess. Like he saved a bunch of squirrels when he was a child and they've got clippings of that.

Maybe, and I mean, like, I do feel like this weird thing where like she falls in love with the family. And this happens a lot in movies. And I don't think this happens in real life where people like fall in love with the family first and then the person second. Like, you know what I mean? Like I find that very creepy. It's just like, I don't know, like family, it's always like, yeah, I got my family, you got yours and we'll just, we'll make it all work kind of. I'd maybe understand it if it's a situation where like

you grew like it's like your best friend's sister or your best friend's brother or something like that and you grew up together and know the family that way but something like this is ridiculous like it's grotesque grotesque

I stand by my statement you got to remember though again she has no one she has no one and how charming are they're so sweet they're all exchanging gifts there's eggnogs see i don't want to do this stuff with my own family alone anyone else's maybe i'm just a miserable crank but maybe also it's because it's quarantine and i miss anyone that i'm like this looks so amazing but i think the thing that's also different from this family to most families is that there's not like i mean i guess technically

like the asshole of this family is peter galliger yes everyone else here is on the up and up there's not like racist Uncle Jerry in the recliner who won't get up to shake your hand you know there's none of it's just like they're all impossibly nice good people so I can totally understand it I'm just coming at this from like my social anxiety

like I could not be in like a party situation like this you know a holiday thing like this where I don't know a single person I would be shitting my pants the whole time they fucking got her Christmas presents for crying out loud Christmas presents and

And a Christmas stocking. Oh, the stocking that's already up there. Would you actually, Chelsea accurately pointed it out, that's definitely something my mom would do. Your mom definitely has blank stockings, just waiting in case anyone else. You had a stocking personalized for you, like the first Christmas you,

we went home to my parents' place. I'm sure before that, I'm sure. Like, oh, Andrew's dating a new girl time to make the Christmas stocking just in case it goes through the holidays. And it's very sweet, it's very sweet. It absolutely is, no, but it's just hilarious that it's another good touch

on the production design in this movie that they would definitely be a family that did that. Oh, Andrew, don't you want to invite some of your friends from college over? I got plenty of, you know, stockings for old. Hey, I think if you look somewhere in my parents' storage

unit cabin, there's a fucking Chris Cabin stocking in there. There might very well have been. There's one for all three, you guys, just in case. She doesn't know how Christmas will go. She's just waiting. Absolutely. But do you point into the social anxiety bit, it's like, yeah, I get invited to someone's house like on Christmas. It's like,

And I got to pull somebody's like, do I have to bring a gift? Who do I have to, who do I have to buy for now? It's, it's, it's, it's, you're handing, not to sound like George Costanza, but you're handing me a bill for presents at this point. Now I got to go out and buy some horseshit. Well, she buys one of the biggest scams of the holidays, a fucking planted Poinsettia. Get the hell out of here with the pointettias. You can't keep those in a house with animals.

You got to always go with the classic. Just bring like the bubble coat episode, bring a bottle of wine. Yeah, totally. one of my favorite episodes of Seinfeld Cabin, the dinner party, absolutely. One of the horseshit Lifetime Christmas movies, I think this might be a hallmark one that me and my wife watch every year

and I will say me and my wife, it's not like I get dragged to them, I'm watching them, is this one it's a poinsetti a farm. Oh, we watched that with his mother this guy. Oh, hell yeah, we watched that one. The thing that drove me crazy about that movie is like, the poinsetti of farm

has to be like, they're not busy in December. They're busy in like October getting this shit together You're not shipping on the 21st No but I recall isn't there some craziness In that movie we're like oh my god The Poinsettias aren't blooming in time

They have to like build a whole new greenhouse for it There's also a lot of that movie About the pronunciation of Poinsettia I'm still getting it wrong I know Poinsettia is just what I'm gonna say But the rest of my life I don't care how many movies They make to teach me how to Well good news baby because there's

The whole Ponsetia franchise is coming out this Christmas. I'm sure there is. This will allow me to scream very briefly about something in the IMDB trivia. Oh, go right ahead. At the Tribune, as per sepull, per usual. But like this one particular thing is there was a chunk in this movie where it was just a person describing the different ways you can say fiancé. Oh, I saw that. It's like three lines long.

I'm like, get the, what are you doing with your life? Who are you? I looked at that and I was like, oh, they're pointing. I didn't read it all the way, but I was like, oh, this one is just talking about how people in the movie pronounce it multiple ways. But you're saying that's not what they're attributing it to. They're not linking it to characters in this movie. They're just saying like, these are the ways you can say it. I'll tell you this.

I didn't read past the first line. I was like, this is fucking stupid and shouldn't be here. Yeah, that's not. The nurse says, she's his fiance. Yeah. Who pronounces it that way? Yeah, the fee like that? Then fiancé.

It's fiancé. Again, this is a movie I know how every intonation sounds. That's why I love you. I've lost my fiancé, the poor baby. So they're like talking about, oh, Bill, is Jack coming? Is Jack coming? That's Bill Pullman. He doesn't show up that night.

Oh, he shows up late. Well, because he's got to walk onto the set of a fucking Folgers Crystles commercial. Oh, dude, you're my gift this year, dude. Yeah. The worst commercial, and I hate many things about the holidays, but that might be one of the top five. The primary characters from that commercial moved to Alabama. It's the worst.

Apologies to any cool people in Alabama who aren't fucking their siblings. Pornhub presents the Folgers Christmas commercial. I just want this conversation to be over. I need to stop thinking about it. Because he comes in, first of all, though, how shitty is this? You're like, we're going to do, it's a redo Christmas. He was like, look, I took off the 20th. It's not my fault.

My brother went into a coma. But he works for a family business, though. You can, I think he secretly hates these people. Of course he does. He's trying to stop working with his dad. It's already pretty tense, you know? Yeah. I mean, you see the way he acts with him towards the end of the movie.

It's ice fucking cold. I don't see any warmth between them. I think he hates Peter Gallagher. Oh, yeah. Palman and Gallagher? Yeah, they're like kind of content. Even though like Bill Pullman's got that fucking weird speech or he's like, I've never wanted anything you've had.

I've always been cool with you being better than me. Until Lucy. Yeah. So that's kind of the weird thing. But yeah, so there's the Folgers Crystall's thing. Stop it. Sorry, well, moving on. But no, just to say that he comes home late and it's Monica King.

who's the only one that's up, gives him a big hug. That's why it's the Fultures Crystal's Christmas. And she says, you are my present this year. She doesn't put a bow on him or anything. No, she doesn't tongue kiss him, nothing like that. Thank God for that. But, like, Sandy is sleeping over. Like, this is...

She must have hit the egg knock too hard. Yeah. She took a cab there. Take a cab back. It's craziness. There is the greatest thing, though, setting up, like, the next morning scene. And it's one of those brilliant things

that, like, happy accidents thank God we had this take. Oh my God. The paper boy just riding down the street, delivering the papers, and the actor just loses his balance and eats shit. It's one of my favorite moments on film. It's great. And it's like...

On film. It's so awesome because like clearly it's not scripted because it's not that kind of movie, but like John Turtle Taub and company had enough of a sense of humor to be like, you know what? This is surprisingly hysterical. Let's leave this. Again, I've seen this movie a hundred times. I cackle out loud.

Cackle confirmation. I could just imagine John Trump, but, like, yeah, you know, that, that, that right there, that's the magic of the cinema. The magic of the cinema is that paper boy doffing it right into the concrete. I was reading some listical kind of thing that was like, things you don't know about while you were sleeping before we were doing this. And it was like, you know, that fall isn't really as funny. He really hurt himself. He broke his something or other. I was like, no, it's still funny.

And I'm going to laugh at it every time. I hope that guy's okay. But at the same time, I also don't care. I'm going to laugh every time. Sorry, Listicol and sorry that dude's wrist. That's fucking hilarious. And also, 1995, it's a total like precursor to jackass. It's that level of hilarity.

If you're not going to watch this movie, at least seek out that fall. Totally. I'm sure it's on YouTube. So, yeah, like she slinks out the, next morning or tries to. Bill Pullman like fucking Batman is just perched on the staircase like waiting for her to wake up which is weird

and there's a weird thing where when he comes home like the sister was like because he's like oh who's that on the couch and she's like oh that's Lucy that's Peter Gallagher's fiance and Bill Palman like takes a look and is just like that's not Peter Gallagher's

fiancee. His name is also Peter in this movie right? That's confusing me. It is Peter. Bill Pullman is Jack Right. And he's like, oh, that's not Peter's fiancé. So then, like, the next morning, he's kind of, like, grilling a little bit because he's suspicious of what the situation is here. Peter's fiance wears honky pants. Yeah, and, you know, he's grilling her, and she's, like, instantly uncomfortable. Like, they have a fun little flirtatious, contentious relationship kind of a thing. Their chemistry is great, though. Like, I think, I think they make it work in this.

movie. I guess maybe not everyone does, but it totally works for me. I just don't get why he's immediately like interrogating her. I wonder if that means he met Ashley. Yeah, because he's so confidently says that's not Peter's fiance. Right. I think he must sometimes talk to Peter Gallagher and Peter Gallagher was like, I'm dating a terrible blonde woman. This nice brunette and he's like, I'm pretty sure that's not it. Yeah, like, I don't think. that they're like double dating or anything like that. I don't think they have any social relationship with each other.

Chicago's not that big a town. You run into people when you get to go outside. I feel like it's more like Peter Gallagher is sending him like in the mail pictures of her and the letter that says you could never get a woman like this to Bill Pullman every once a while just because like I really

they don't think they like each other at all. You know and once we get to see Peter's apartment, this time I was getting real like Patrick Bateman vibes from him. So I don't want to say I agree with you, Chris, but maybe I could agree with you.

Instead of women's heads, he's got Baskin Robbins. Just a bunch of fucking Baskin Robbins, like a baby. It's true. He's having really seedy orgies in that house. It's him, a lady, his left eyebrow, his right eyebrow. They're all going

for it. You know the other apartment that it totally reminded me of, though, is Rob Lowe's apartment in Wayne's World. because he's got another like Chicago high-rise apartment I believe excellent Mike Myers walking around the apartment

oh so there's a fucking hilarious thing though she gets like like his effects I guess you still like the stuff that was on him like at the time like in his coat yeah the hospital like gives her the bag of stuff

including his wallet one of the funniest things and it's like it's supposed to speak to the character of Peter Gallagher, but I feel like it's a little overboard in that the only photographs he has in his wallet are just posed pictures of himself. That's another Patrick Bateman thing. Like Sears portraits, though. Yeah.

They're not him actually playing tennis. It's just him dressed for tennis with a tennis racket in front of a... Yeah, he's in a costume. Yeah. It's like that thing with Krusty, all the different roles. Like, look at my reign. Oh, you're totally right. It's Peter Gallagher dressed up as a cop.

This movie is really a story of how Lucy avoids being murdered by him. Yeah, totally. She avoids getting a chainsaw dropped on her head. Instead falls in love with the murderer's brother and has to live with what she missed out on. Man, the murderer's brother. That's actually the sequel to While You Were Sleeping was the murderer's brother. Oh yeah, like the day after Peter Gallagher gets out of the hospital, Allie Walker goes missing.

There's a weird thing around here where Bill Pullman's like going around looking for her or something. and he runs into Jackie Appreel, Joey Jr., just calling him by a Sopranos name, I apologize. Joey Jr. I've never watched Sopranos, which is why I didn't get it the first time you've referred to him. I was also saying it's incredibly weird because I mostly know him as Jackie April from the Sopranos.

So it's weird to see him not playing like an evil gangster, which is weird. But this is the scene where Bill Pullman's like, oh, do you know her or something? He's like, know her, I'm dating her. And I'm like, fuck, this dude is delusional. it's creepy as all I mean like not that like

I don't think that she's encouraging him but I think she could do a better job of being like dude you need to get the fuck away from me she's doing a lot of that he lives there his father owns the building like he's yeah

I mean I guess I wouldn't renew my lease is the idea I know moving is expensive and nobody wants to do it but you know what if someone's smelling the under part of your door you gotta get out of it also but the bigger thing here is that Bill Pullman would have to be a grade A moron to believe that this guy is telling him the truth when he says that. Like you meet this guy who's honky, like spitting on the ground, like picking his nose

and he says, yeah, that's my girlfriend. And you're like, yeah, yeah, that squares. That makes sense. Right. But so yeah, this is, speaking of the apartment, this is where she goes, because you know, all his information is in there. So she goes to the apartment to see what's going on. is, oh, that's why she goes, actually, because she finds a can of cat food in the bag. So it's like, oh, fuck, better go see what's up with this cat. It's been days. Goes to this killer apartment. And speaking of killers, Bill Pullman is stalking her, kind of, like, he also goes over to the house.

Although good physical comedy here, she fucking slams the door in his face, which was pretty great. He's like, oh, I got you. The parents got you an engagement prison. You want to bring it in? and it's this enormous couch. Oh, right. Yes, that's what they're, yeah. Which doesn't fit in this guy's apartment at all.

Like, the aesthetic is very, you know, American Psycho, this is all in the family. It's not the same sort of situation. Yeah. Oh, I think the couch thing is later. This is like, they're just like looking around or something. Oh, okay.

And, um, yeah, it's like, oh, oh, oh, that's what it is. Like, oh, Peter doesn't have a cat. Oh, right. Going around the apartment, like, here, kitty, kitty, kitty. Like, oh, Peter doesn't have a cat. And then rear, here comes this cat. So it's like, who was saved again, I guess, somehow.

This is all leading up to, like, Bill Pullman pulling and inherent the wind in the fucking hospital. And, like, trying to press her on, like, all these details about it, including some incident about him losing his testicle through a pencil. Yeah. So they go back to the hospital to donate blood. And so, you know, Bill Pullman's like, we can take my car. And they go to the hospital. They're donating the blood. and then he's like asking these questions

and this is like he tries to like chase after her after they gave blood and he passes out or something which happened the only time I gave blood as well really I was not chasing after anyone well that's good but I did pass out because I was trying to get back to AP English

oh man oh so you pass out in school hallway pass out what are we talking another classroom oh you would have seen not in the nurse's office no in public pass out yeah that stinks it did and you Oh, you would have seen a leisurely stroll from me. I do love, but by the way, the hospital calls Sandra Bullock, and she has to tell the family, she's like, oh, you know, the hospital called me and said it's in tradition to give

blood for the family to come and give blood or something like, hey, you want to come back and visit this guy? He's been in a coma, like a couple days now. No one's been here for three days. Maybe just stop on in. I love that as like the hospital being. like a college is calling alumni. Do you want to come back

and give more blood? I know like it's been like seven months since your father was here, but you could just come and give more blood. And then instead they curse them out. They're saying, I'm still paying my loaves on that blood. I will not give you more blood. Still paying my hospital

bills from the last visit. What the hell though? I mean, you know, and I'm no doctor. Sure. But like if someone's in a coma, why do you have to fucking give blood to them? I think because you want to have a blood bank. You're not trying to get it for Peter Dalliger. You're just trying to get blood to have.

That's what I, but, but I thought the reason they're doing it is because of Peter. What is the, I mean, maybe he needs, maybe you need more blood when you're in a coma, something, something. I don't know. None of us are doctors. No, none of us actually. No one here is a doctor. I mean, like I said, the doctors are mostly talking about what they're going to have for lunch in this movie. Yeah, that's true.

But again, it's the week between Christmas and. New Year's. I don't get anything productive done the week between Christmas and New years. Ever. But you're not a doctor, Chelsea. That's true. Well, but come on, like medical emergencies around the holidays, man, you've got your Christmas lonely heart suicides, obviously, but you know, you don't need the hospital for those. It should be a light week. It should be a light week all over the place. So between Christmas and New Year's, everybody, stop getting sick, stop having accidents. Let's all just take the week off. Enough with your Comas

and says Andrew Drupin. Exactly. How depressing is the week between Christmas and New Year's going to be this year?

Oh, Jesus Christ. It usually is a great week and now it's just going to be like every other day. The saddest worst week. No, we're going to have a vaccine

on election day. But only for certain people. Oh, yeah, I finally get to get a black out drunk for the first time. Here we go. Here we go.

Totally. Yay. Let's, you know what? We'll set a goal. and then the next day we'll try to beat it. Yeah, no, the ball thing, Kevin, that you were talking about. So Bill Pullman is really, like Steve said, pulling and inherit the wind in this room.

Like, you got to fucking tell us, you got to prove it. What's the hard evidence? Is that and the other thing? And then she just blurts out he only has one testicle. And they're like, okay. And this is like a blink and you miss it moment from earlier in the film where like she bumps into a buddy of his, like a work buddy.

Yeah. And it's some miscommunication and he, oh, because he's like, oh, the accident, blah, blah, blah. And she's like, the accident. And he thinks it's like that she's implying it wasn't an accident. He was like, I definitely did not break one of his testicles on purpose. Of course not. Yeah, like he says something about like we were playing basketball and I had a pencil on me. What the fuck?

A pencil in his back pocket. Like I'm not a lawyer or a man. So I don't know if that's a thing. Either way, if basketball is being played, pencils are out of the pockets. What do we talk? And also, are we talking like, oh, we're just at a hoop that's around the office? Or like, did this guy suit up in shorts and put a pencil on those pants? Actually, now that I think about, like, what kind of a loser this guy is, like, yeah, maybe he did have a pencil in his pocket because maybe he was too nervous to change into basketball shorts.

This all smells of like a sports club where like a racket club and like squash courts are also in. And that's where they were doing their little basketball and all of a sudden a pencil fucking goes through his testicle and it looks like, you know, an olive and a martini glass. Oh, cabin. I'm trying to keep down dinner here, man. Yeah, it's tough. I mean, like, what a rough year for Peter Gallagher. Exactly. Bad time.

but so yeah she's like he only has one testicle it was a basketball accident and they make what's her name McColl the mother he's like well I'm his mother I guess

and we're just like looking at balls in this movie for a little bit it's kind of hilarious because like I do appreciate the shot of like the look around the room like who's gonna look

at Peter Gallagher's balls I don't know I'd volunteer first of all her actual sex to me Sean's phone number her actual name is Midge in the movie? No, it's not. Is it?

Yeah, it is. It's Midge. I'm sure it's not her actual name. No, no. In the movie, the character. No, I understand that, but I'm saying Midge is a nickname. Right. No, we know that.

Midge is a nickname for like Miriam. Yeah, but we're just saying Midge and McColl. It's hilarious. She's literally listed as Midge in the credits. I'm looking at them right now. Hi, you, Midge. Yeah. I'm curious, so like, why not just ask the eyebrows?

Like, eyebrows, you guys would know better than any. Are they, oh my God, are they in comas too? Yeah. Two eyebrow comas? Separate eyebrow comas. Yeah, they might be. Little eyebrow doctor comes up to see them every day. Looks at both of them.

Oh, how is Peter Gallagher doing? Oh, I don't know. I'm just an eyebrow doctor. I do love the Glenys John. I think it's Glenys Johns has this line. Look on the bright side. He's got more room in his jockeys. Jockey shorts.

Yeah, it is Glenys Johns. Which is kind of hilarious. just have your grandmother talking about your broken balls there's another oh speaking of creepy shit though here's joey junior once again uh there's another he's like fucking yelling at her on the staircase about not going to the ice capades yes well this is when he goes in her apartment right like he's yelling about about it and she like has to come in and like peter and uh i'm sorry

bill pullman is just following her around she's like oh my god if anybody if he sees you here they'll know the jig is up or something Yeah, well, this is the double dose of sitcom shit right here because Joey Jr. is like sexually harassing her or whatever in the apartment. And then there's a knock at the door and it's Saul. And so she's like, you got to fucking hide in the closet or whatever. And then there's like, I think is this when he's like, look on hip to everything that's going on here? You got to tell them. Yeah, here's my note. Saul comes over and tells her like he knows the truth. You know, I overheard you, blah, blah, blah. but he's like, you got to, is it he or she makes the decision of, like, you have to stick to it until, that's what it is, because he's like, look, you know, you are sort of like the surrogate for Peter right now without you, they don't have him, so you got to stick around until he wakes up. He kind of, like, implies that, like, the entire family will die if she doesn't keep this up. They're all going to turn to sand, you see, Lucy. A little bit much. Listen, you're going to do this for the next 10 years. Give me 10 years, Lucy.

Look, I understand. Sometimes a comer can take a couple of days, like sometimes, let's say, between Christmas and New Year's, or sometimes it could take the rest of a person's life. I'm asking you split the difference 10 years. 10 solid years with my family. Look, all the furniture you want. I'll talk to Callahan. We'll have a little talk and we'll get you a lot of tables. but then this is like he leaves and as soon as he leaves then it's a knock on the door like Bill Paulman it's a hilarious like this is so sick on me to the point where he's like did I just see Saul leaving a second ago and she's like yeah he had to something something don't ask me about it but the important thing is as right before Saul comes and she's like okay oh gosh Joey hide in my closet and yeah in between the two visits she opens the door and Michael Rospoly is looking at her shoes or he's trying them on and yeah he falls over trying them on is

the thing yeah and she's like are you trying on my she's like no what are you talking about it's like he says like his foot fell into it yeah just got wedged there uh so yeah this is when bill palman's like there's a little family wedding present for you it's this disgusting couch but like i do appreciate this is another cool move slick charming palman line right here she's He sees this killer chair and she's like, wow, your family's so awesome. This chair is great. He's like, ah, that chair, how you like that chair? She's like, yeah, this chair is the best chair I've ever seen.

And he's like, that's pretty cool. I made it. This disgusting couch over here, that's for you. So then it's like a weird, he's like, I'm here to drop it off. And she's like, how about we drop it off at Peter Gallagher's house? Yeah. Even though it fits much better in her apartment. Yes.

Oh, yeah. It's all wrong for his apartment. Absolutely. It's all wrong. Meanwhile, Michael Respoli is, like, going through her underwear drawer still. Nice panties. Yeah. How about I keep about five of these for myself?

You got to, like, once he's been in your closet for even two minutes, you've got to, like, all right, the next day, just count down what's missing. All right, what's missing? And here's the thing. For every item that's missing, that's one month free rent. Or else you're telling the father that you're going to the cops and you're getting this dude arrested. That's fair. Look, Lucy, I would love to return your birth control pills to you, but I would need a date for you to do that.

I can only give those back at the ice campaigns. Joey Jr., you just stole a pack of mince off my nightstand. I got a gun to this out towards Tins' head. You wake up in the morning like, fuck, my toothbrush is missing again, motherfucker. Because she's so desperate to get rid of him, they go to Peter Gallagher's apartment to drop off the love seat. Yeah, and this is, I think, one of the most

completely unbelievable parts of this movie. Bill Pullman driving this huge-ass moving truck, front first parking space in the fucking downtown Chicago sidewalk? No way. No way are you just sliding into three open parking spaces with this huge truck? Absolutely not.

I couldn't believe it. there's parts in Harry Potter that are more realistic but so yeah he slides in she makes some comment about like oh well aren't you a little close to the car in front of you you know and he's like no we gotta get this couch out of here and they lug it back up there they fucking like totally destroyed Peter Gallagher's apartment in the scene but points off for Peter Gallagher and the design right here

like they jam this couch through the doorway and Lucy like goes flying and she knocks into a table and it's like a vase with flowers falls over but he has like dyed the water in the vase blue and it like stains the carpet like a fucking cleaning commercial example

this is like this is an 80s thing this is not a mid-90s thing like I know he's supposed to be a yuppier or whatever come on but it's a total fucking Patrick Bateman move once again man this is really something she really dodged a bullet Huey Lewis posters are

everywhere just warning signs left While you were sleeping, I escaped your clutches. Oh, no, I found your collection of torsos. Oh, boy. But this is where, you know, Bill Pullman gives her the spiel about, like, you know, how he likes building all this furniture. He's really good at it. He can get good prices for this stuff. And he's not crazy about the family business, which is a ghoulish operation where they, like, go around estate sales and get fucking dead people's furniture. very ghoulish. I know somebody's got to do it, but man, what a creepy job. The problem here is that he acts like Peter Boyle, friendly, lovely Peter Boyle is like overshadowing him and like, it's like haunting him at nights about like taking over the business. And I'm like, it's Peter Boyle. He doesn't care.

I don't know. I mean, like Peter Boyle, lest you be reminded, is built like Frankenstein. You know what I mean? Like I am. If Peter Boyle tells me to jump, I say how high. That's kind of where I'm at. Yeah, he's not someone I want to disappoint. No way. You don't want to cross him either, though. But I'm so far away from taxi driver at this point.

I remember him as Ray Romano's father, mostly right around here. Well, I'm sorry that you fucking wasted time watching that obnoxious sitcom. I've seen enough of it. Yeah, I've seen an episode. I've never seen an episode of everybody who loves Raymond. Really? Never. It's fine.

It's just, you know, the paint is drying and you need something to watch. I mean, I've seen like bits and pieces, but it's the same thing like that fucking Big Bang theory. Absolutely not. Oh, it's much better than Big Bang. Oh, yeah, much better. It would almost have to be, I would wager. It's got Brad Garrett in it. Brad Garrett's wonderful. Raymond. Yeah, so we knock over the water and everything. And then in, this is like another actually totally unbelievable thing. It's like Chicago in the fucking ass end of December. And they're like, oh, we got blocked in. Because sure enough, another car. pulled up right behind Bill Pullman's truck and they can't get out and he's like well I'll just walk you home and they take like this sightseeing walk of Chicago to get back to her apartment and like they would have frozen to death like this is a long walk and talk montage getting a lot of Chicago sites in here which is cool I don't think they filmed it in winter but they do a really convincing job yeah if they didn't point high marks in this movie. Because everyone would be bright red in every scene if they did.

So I saw them filming the night before that Christmas movie with Seth Rogan and Joseph Gordon and Anthony Mackie. Fun movie. In August, in the Lower East Side in New York. And then when we saw that movie and it looked convincingly, like they

weren't all drenched in. And again, August, they were outside in like Christmas sweaters. Like thick wool Christmas sweaters. I'd rather be dead. That movie deserves. an Oscar for makeup for the fact that they didn't look like they were melting. You're absolutely right. And this movie may be

another one where again, I don't know when they filmed. I think it was fall because of a later when he brings Dunkin' Donuts to Peter Boyle it's got the fall leaves on it when Duncan Donuts did his milk links. Is that right? Wow, you have seen this movie.

Once a choice. When you told me that though about the night before because you were like walking to or from work or whatever you worked in the lower side. They filmed at 169 bar on East Broadway. great bar. It is a great bar. I hope it's still there. I hope anything is still there. But you told me that and I almost passed out thinking about how hot they

must have been making that movie. Can't even imagine. One of the weird things, so like they have like a lot of different talking points. This is like a real getting to know each other. They're starting to fall in love. Talking, sharing some dad memories, this, that,

the other thing. There's one point where they walk by this couple that's just making out on a bridge and Bill moment like does like the double take like kind of just looks like say wish I was doing that with this lady yeah hey Lucy do you see them making out right here yeah I know my brother is clinging to life but I'm gonna try and fuck his fiance yeah I'm a good guy would you like to do some mouth activity with me Lucy it's negative 10 degrees he's probably freezing the only time I was in Chicago in the winter my scarf froze to my face that was a bad time you know I mean

good time but a bad event that happened during a good time. It's crazy. If you if you really stop and consider the weather of this scene, this scene is preposterous. Lucy, would you accompany me to go buy myself some long underwear? Well, because that's and here's the thing, unless this had just happened, unless this was just left on the street corner, there is a moment in this

in this walk and talk where Bill Poman steps in a pile of shit and it's like a now again Chicago Winter this thing's freezing before it hits the sidewalk you know what I mean I would like it

if he it's it's warm that he can actually press down but then it won't let go I'm stuck in some shit here I'm stuck in some freezing shit frozen to the ground loose teeth got to cut my leg off but they get back to her building

and then proceed to slip on ice for five and a half minutes Yeah, I mean, I'll just walk around the ice, everybody. Yeah, I don't know if they don't want to, like, walk on the lawn or something, the snow-covered lawn, but like Bill Pullman starts falling and she starts slipping and they have like a big hug kind of a thing here. But it takes a little, like this movie is like an hour and 47 minutes. You could have got down to at least like a buck 42 if you cut out some of this ice.

These are some ice capades right here, actually. she finally got to the ice cafe two minutes I might find this charming five and a half minutes I'm like just walk like people I beg of you when his pants finally do rip though it's really good folly work on the

pant rip noise totally nice job with that as a man that's split a few pants it's absolutely here I once saw Steve destroy a pair of jeans with a pool cue and I still don't understand the physics behind it but these things tore. It was, it's a real

unsolved mystery. I was leading over for a shot and it happened. Luckily it was, we were in college and my dorm was across the street. I just kind of like held my pants and I was like, I will see you a gentleman later. Did you have your Spider-Man boxers on that

day? No, no. Thankfully not. There is a, it's a weird like, I know you're trying to just be a shiverous fucking boomer here, Bill Paulman, but like, he's He's dropping her off after all the ice and whatever. And she's like, cool, we'll have a good night.

And he's like, no, no, I'll wait until you get inside. Like, you're not dating this woman. Like, you got her back. Like, go slip on the ice again. Would you know? He's making moves on his brother's fiancé while his brother clings for his last breath. I don't know if it's that bad of a coma. She sees, she watches him, like, walk away.

Yeah, she gets back up to the apartment and looks back out the window. And boy, you see that pant tear, though, to really just savage a pair of dungarees like that by falling on ice? My God, his hip must be broken. Which was worse? That or Steve with the pool. Oh, Steve with the pool. The whole leg was shredded. It was demolished, and I don't know how it happened. It was like those jeans had a self-destruct button on them.

And the genes were like, you know what? I've had enough and pressed it themselves. I love it. shredded. Absolutely. It was like I turned into the Incredible Hulk, but only from my ass. Steve,

I've been there. Steve, these pants will self-destruct in 10 seconds. There's a great move around here where her boss recommends that she fucking murders Peter Gallagher. Well, because she keeps going to her boss for advice

and everyone's giving me the worst advice. The only advice you can give this woman is like, listen, I know it's going to be tough and it's going to be really awkward. you see the whole sit the whole family down explain yourself and then creep away you never have to see them again but you owe them that much but the boss's like well you're in it now you just got to let this happen and i'm like what are you talking about what this is where he's like oh you do is just pull the plug and she's like she kind of for like half a second goes with it and it's like no wait no that's insane what you have to do you see is to change your name get on a plane to bury yourself because zero no getting out of this one here's the thing You're wrapped up in this crazy lie that is just instantly was blown way out of proportion, totally out of control. You moved to the city because your father needed to go to a research hospital.

This dude's dead. You're wrapped up in the shit. You know what? Move back to Indiana. Yep, exactly. Absolutely. This does have the trailer line of, you're dating a vegetable. The boss is that to her?

You're cheating on a vegetable, I'm sorry. And the boss is saying that to her, yes. Oh, you're cheating on a vegetable. This is where Bill Pullman goes to the hospital and has the heart to heart with in still in the coma, Peter Gallagher. And what he starts off with is, you know, I was thinking the other day about the time back in the fifth grade when I started to get really good at poker. I was like, what child gambler is this? I want that movie. He's telling it can be a rough town.

I don't know. He's telling Peter Gallagher's, yeah, you know, and I was, and mom and dad were like really upset with me, but I was like, be like your brother and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, this is weird. This is a very bizarre situation. He should at least be conscious to hear this. Clearly you've wanted to say this shit to him forever, kind of a thing.

There's a weird, again, just like stuff you don't want to hear from a total stranger. So where are you guys going on your honeymoon? We didn't even touch on the pregnancy thing, right? That hasn't happened yet. It's about to happen pretty much. First, there's a, I will say, delightful scene, family dinner that it's just like, everyone's having a different conversation. It's fantastic. I love this scene.

The scene is something that I've returned to many times throughout my writing career. I love the dinner scene. Love, love, love. I don't care if it's a movie. I think it's great. we love this movie if we are Chelsea we all love it if we are Chelsea

if we are Chelsea we love this movie but yeah this is the honeymoon talk she's grilling him and it's like help me set up Jack with someone and he goes I like chubby blondes yeah and somebody's like oh you know you like

brunettes Monica Keenan says you like brunettes oh well then well because there's some there's another line about like something something Peter's type and then they're like we all know who peter's type is it's you again you're fucking our son thank you thank you so much oh god a lot about tall actors and beef and it's what is that so okay you said beef so this is this is classic Andrew writing stuff in his notes and I don't clarify or contextualize why I'm taking the note why did I write and Chelsea this is for you

specifically. Why did I write in my notes, all capital letters, beef and Nazis? Well, because that's, I'm pretty sure a line. I pulled up the, I pulled up the transcript to this scene. Excellent. Yeah, that it's like Argentina has good beef, beef, and not that's right. That's what it is. Saul says it, because they're talking about tall actors and beef. And so then, I'm not going to read the whole thing. I could, but that's a very, very different. But you just reminded me because, yeah, so they're cross-talking. Everyone is cross-talking. Where to get the best beef and where to go on the honey.

Some of us find it delightful. It's fine. I mean, it does make sense that Jack Wharton would know all that because he does, he treats all this like he's a spy master. There is the hilarious line, though. I think it's Peter Boyle's making fun of Dustin Hoffman. He's like, can you imagine Dustin Hoffman saving the alamo? That little short bastard. You know, it's a real fuck you to Dustin.

I mean, they've definitely crossed paths. Peter Boyle and Dustin Hoff? For sure. They must be in the same movie at some point, too. Was Peter Boyle and Tootsie? No. I mean, just, I'm thinking like 70s movies, you know. Yeah, just some like real scum shit that you've probably never even seen.

Like those, like, secret movies. Yes, exactly. I just imagined Peter Boyle being in a hood. Yeah, I met Dad Hoffman. He stole my Coke. Had a perfectly good mirror of Coke ready to go. And Dustin Hoffman just took it. That's what you could.

That's fucking fit for. for a t-shirt cap and Dustin Hoffman stole my Coke. Oh, well, we have a really uncomfortable I keep wanting to say Yule Tide. What am I saying? Missile Toose scene. Because they're going

to leave or whatever and it's like, oh, look what happened. You're both under the missiles. And this is Bill Pullman and Sandra Bullock. Incredibly uncomfortable. And the whole family's like, kiss her. Kiss her. Kiss her. Kiss her. Kiss her. And the move is the cheek, but they go full on lips and they just kind of do a quick kiss. kind of thing. Is it a peck? What are we talking

here? It's a quick. It's a quick pack. Oh, come on. Come on. Taste your sister-in-law. Don't just peck. Missile-toe is such a nuisance. If anyone is actually buying and hanging mistletoe, please don't. Like, what do you expect? What is happening? You know what? Here's the thing. You know what should be canceled is mistletoe? Stop forcing

me to kiss strangers. Yeah. It's we're trying to teach kids now. You don't have to hug them, blah, blah, blah. Let's do all this. Missile Toe was canceled. We're done with Missile Toe. You guys actually giving in and kissing when you're under a mistletoe? I don't know if I've ever actually been under mistletoe.

I think I've only seen it in TV and been angry about it for the TV characters. I've been forced into it. Oh, come on. Who are you kissing? Well, certainly no one since you. We've never been under a mistletoe. But, you know, there were some years, you know, B.C., before, Chelsea. But under

mistletoe, you am. I can hear the sweat from here, Andrew. I'm going to be watching him close this holiday season. But that's the other thing, though. I think, though, it's also a thing you don't really see anymore. Like, I can't remember the last time I saw someone actively hanging mistletoe.

Trader Joe's was selling mistletoe last Christmas, and I was like, oh, this is cute. I'll buy some. And then I was like, who comes to your house? Like, the guys, they're all, like you guys to come over recording we're all going to kiss each other under the mistletoe. Uh-oh, Chris and Eric, you're under the mistletoe. Catch her! Catch her!

Kiss him! Or like, God forbid, if I'm taking out the garbage and then I have to kiss one of you guys, like, no offense, but I don't want to do that. Chelsea, you misunderstood. They were selling mistletoe as a green. Oh, you had to be salads. For salads. I forgot. It's really good with kale.

Yeah. As Batman returns, teaches us, mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it. Oh, right. Oh, is it? That's just a line in that movie. I don't know if that's true. I never sourced it. But just like those rancid poinsettias, dude.

Oh, that's true. Only plants in my house are ones that I can eat in a pinch. Or smoke at a pinch. Absolutely. So, Sandy's back at work. This is where, like, young... We finally meet Celeste. Finally, she gets a friend.

And Mary, I think, is the younger sister, comes through, like, with a buddy or something. Her buddy is now the lead on high school musical, the series. Is that right? Yes. Wow. Is this person a known...

She's a theater actor, yeah. Oh, interesting. Yeah, yeah. It's a fun show. You said it's like... I heard that, oh boy, from you, Chris Cabin. I don't know. Chris Cabin, not a fan of Disney Plus original programming for the most part, I feel. Did he not like the man...

No, I like Mando. No, but that's why I said for the most part. Okay. It's a Mando or Bus situation. I haven't really ventured outside of there, I'll be honest with you. I don't know that I have either. I tried watching some ocean documentary one time. it didn't get me where I wanted to go

but yeah so this is like the friends come into the booth I don't remember the series of events here but this is where the daughter overhears and thinks well thinks that she overhears that Sandra Bullock is pregnant oh because it's like oh yeah

fiance and then Celeste is like you didn't tell me you were pregnant and then she says to her because that's what it is Luce's line is like oh well it was really sudden or whatever and she's like are you pregnant and then again Sandra Bullitt like, not, this is the fucking third time in this movie. She goes, yeah, I'm pregnant, but doesn't do it sarcastically enough.

And then, so the girl is like, oh fuck, oh fuck, I've got some hot goss. Oh, fuck. My future sister-in-law, she's also pregnant. What this scene made me think about this time, though, is what is the geography of this movie? Like, so where is Lucy Station? What is it by? Is it by where the gal, or the, I was going to call them the Gallagars because I just

assumed they're all the garlanders, yeah, yeah. Like, is it by their house? Where? Well, because the family appears to live, like, in, you know, obviously not downtown, more suburbsy. Sandra Bullock takes a cab to the place.

But then, yeah, like, the little girl or the teenage girl is out and about. I don't know that they ever show, because I was looking for it, because I was really curious, like, oh, what station does she work at? Right. And I never saw a sign. I don't know if she mentions it in the opening

monologue. You can see it. There is a shot. I forget what it is, though, but I remember seeing the name very clearly. Every Chicago listener, please tweet at all of the guys. Oh, please. Every single station that you see it at any single point. I think it was the one, I think

it's the shot when she goes to get Gallagher when he falls into the tracks. Oh, okay. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Totally like not important detail, but The Ashley, the other fiancee has been calling Peter Gallagher's answer. We're just cutting to this answering machine every now and again and she's leaving like increasingly annoyed messages like why aren't you calling you back.

It's like rent. It is, but it's like rent. There's a lot of answering machine. Oh, sure, a little answering machine play. Also takes place between Christmas and New Year's. Oh, right. There's a big blackout every time it happens and then we open on this bizarre fucking answering machine. And then, like, this woman has to be like,

hi, you know how we used to date. And now we're not dating anymore. And you proposed to me, but I said no. But now I want to say yes. So, but she's just, like, reading the script. You know what I mean? Yeah. You know, it's not quite as good an answering machine movie as sneakers.

But it's like a song number two. I'm due for a sneakers really well. Oh, man. It's the best. Sneakers, I think, is the ultimate answering machine movie. Yeah, it's the key one. Is that a more highbrow comparison than mine of rent? Is that what you're saying?

That is we're hiding out than rent. That's theater. Is it in the Columbus version? Probably. I think they cut all the answering machine stuff from the movie. I don't know. And that's why it failed. You were just one and done with the rent movie?

Yeah. Yeah. Wish I could say the same. Why have you seen it more than once? Because friends of the show, Justin J. Case and Sean Weiner were like hilariously, like I think also slightly ironically into it. So like Cabin, when you were living in Williamsburg, That movie was on a little bit.

We were singing that fucking living in America at the end of the millennial. JJ was a big fan. JJ remains a big fan, I believe. I mean, my dream is a rent episode, but I just don't know if we could make it happen. I just feel like we'd get run out of town. I just feel like. I mean, I feel like I'm already getting to live my dream talking to my friends about while you were sleeping and having it be a podcast episode. But if there were ever a rent episode.

Well, because you I mean, you know a lot about the stage musical. Yes. And, you know, you came from the theater world, but like, do you think, because there's still like rent heads out there, even though there's been like a little bit of a reckoning with that production

just as far as like, yeah, let's all fucking come down to reality, go get a job, and fucking burn the candle at both ends like the rest of us already. But, like, did the rent heads, like, well, the rent heads didn't really transfer over to the movie, because the movie was kind of universally shit on.

I really don't know anyone who liked the movie. So we could, so Steve, we could get away with it. We'll see what happens. We would have Chelsea back on, but like, so Chelsea, you think, though, there wouldn't be this internet backlash that Steve is worried about? I don't think so because I think Rent heads as they were

hated the movie. Right. And also, I mean, if you're defending the rent movie, let's fucking find something else to die on a hill for it. They might not like the fact that I'm going to sing a lot in that episode. and very little if it's going to be good

I wouldn't know how not to how do you know you gotta talk about it you gotta think about it it's hard enough not to be doing it now I just did a little bit of it terribly it was fun so oh so around here

is again the escalation of Joey Jr. Thank God this movie ends before he inevitably murders her because he shows up to the apartment with a fucking horseshoe wreath like you get at the race track

I thought at first that it was like a heart that he stole from like a funeral parlor situation. That's what I thought so too. That was the joke, but it's a funnier joke, obviously, if he stole it from a funeral parlor. Because also what horse racing is going on in December in Chicago? Well, he makes some reference of like, oh, it's it's just like they give in the winner's circle. So he had them recreate a horse. Yeah. All right.

Yeah. A champion's wreath of flowers that you would see in a winter circle at a horse track. That's a choice. All right. And I don't know what his logic is. Like, it's the thing that gives you the most flowers. Something like that. At some point, at some point she has the door closed on him locked and he's like, I've got a key.

And she's like, that's against the law. I'm like, dude, you've got to get out of this place. Like, be looking for a new apartment. Also, Joey Jr., here's the thing, man. We all know that you, one, know her work schedule. two that means you are keying in to sniff some panties and try on some shoes while she's gone like you don't need to mess up your arrangement that you have with yourself here and her apartment by telling her reminding her that your father has the keys to the apartment also joey junior as we all know

i mean he's not just sniffing panties and you know taking undergarments of such he's eating food out of your fridge absolutely your leftovers are completely gone she's just like i could have sworn I had a half a container of Kongpah chicken in here. If you have any ice cream, it's gone. You know what? That's, oh, that's the move. She discovers what he's doing with the food. And then she starts poisoning leftover containers.

I like this. I like that one. In an effort to trap him and finally rid herself of the serial killer that is Joey Jr. The problem is when the poisoning goes awry, he's definitely shitting in her bathroom. Yeah. Yeah, so she's like, you know, kind of explaining to him, like, that she is in love with someone or whatever.

Because this is where he's got some line, like, it's like seeing your first transam. I get it now. Speaking car terms. I understand love. But, like, Bill Pullman here sees her, like, hugging him or whatever. And this leads to the creepy, like, lean-in discussion that's going on. He follows her. It's New Year's Eve.

She's going to go, right? This is all one night. Yep, you're totally right. So she's going to go to this New Year's party. He's like, well, I got a, I got a folly you. And she's like, okay, cool. And we go to this woman Celeste's house and everybody's there. And by everybody, I mean, the woman she works with and her boss.

Well, that's the thing. This is a packed party. It's like she knows the two people. But question here, though, because the Bill Pullman's thing is like, oh, I'll give you a ride to the party. And she's like, it's pretty close. You don't have to do that. I thought the gag was going to be. She lived like a block away.

that would have been a funny physical comedy gag but he's like no no no I insist like let me drive you but then he like sidles his way into this party you cannot crash a New Year's Eve party well with this many people it's a little easier but I do agree it's

kind of a thing like it's a holiday party you need to be advice invited right yeah and I think they even like Celeste is kind of like who the fuck you just you bought a stranger to my holiday party okay there's like a bunch of people and like I find Bill Pullman attractive but Like, they're like, oh my God, look at him.

Yeah. Oh, my God. Bill Pullman. Well, he is attending this nice New Year's Eve party still dressed like he's been moving furniture all day. Yes. So that might have been what at least some of the looks can account for. Yeah. And she's about to take a drink.

He's like, you can't do that. What about the baby? Oh, right. It's not good for the baby. And everyone screams and it's a record scratch moment. It is a douche chill man. This is asshole clenching embarrassment. Yeah, it's tough.

This is when they leave the party and he has this whole conversation like, well, what are you doing? Are you pregnant or not? She's like, no, I'm not. And then she's like, well, you're fucking Joey Jr. He was doing a lien. And it's like, I don't know, man. Could you stop stalking me for four fucking minutes? No, seriously. Show me proof. Show me proof you're not pregnant. I want to see it. Here's this bottle of whiskey. You're going to drink the whole thing in front of me and then you're going to smoke this bag of cigarettes. Prove you're not pregnant. And what is she, does she say to him, are you the happiness guru?

Right. Yeah. That, like, they're, they're just kind of fighting about, like, family and each other. Right. Basically being in love with each other, but not being able to say so because she's sort of engaged to his brother, but not really. Right, right, right. Well, because nobody expects him to live.

Right, exactly. Everyone's pulling for death here. She, she says the line, like he says, you don't know my family. something like that, like, you're not an expert of my family. She goes, spending a lifetime with them hasn't made you one either. And I, it was 20 years ago, but I remember the

theater, there was, oh. Oh, really? Wow. Nice. Audible, like, audience reaction to it. Oh, that's fucking awesome. Yeah. Like a fucking full-on auditorium of, oh, she fucking got him. Exactly. Like, it was

a TV studio audience. It's a good line. he also has a fucking because he's trying he's doing a bad job at trying to recommend that she like take a chance on all the travel that she's talking about because she mentioned something about how her dad

loved maps and they would always like pick a location and then the hobby was like track like plan the route of how they're going to get there or whatever and he goes would your father be happy that you're a toll booth operator oh dude low blow man

come on dude you're fucking moving dead people's furniture. God damn. At least she had to work for that job. Your daddy gave it to you, dude. Totally. You're a nepotistic fucking furniture mover, dude. Let's dial it back a little bit. But while

all this is happening, Peter wakes up. Whilst the hospital staff is singing one of my favorite holiday songs, Old Lanzine, love it. Love it. That song will fucking bring me to tears. Great tune. He wakes up to nobody. Nobody's

there because everyone's just like oh whatever the way you would you give us a call if he gets up he'll be fine right what the hell's jack warden doing on new year's eve like go to the hot what are do do we know what they do on new year's eve because she goes to her party separately yeah and bill palman's with her but what's the rest of the family doing at home watching the honeymooners they don't give a shit guys guys guys getting drunk watching the honeymooners like the rest of us do on new year that's true guys calm down he has his eyebrows oh they're to console him Bill. And it's crazy that it's this laid into the movie, and we're only now really getting

Peter Gallagher as a performer in this movie. It's very weird. It is. Yeah. So he wakes up, and she goes, and she's like, oh, fuck, now I'm, we're all going to hell tonight. Again, like, I get that phone call. I just grab all.

I get a go bag and I'm gone. I'm in Atlantic City in 24 hours. That's in your state still, see. That's not very far. Well, no, if I was Sandra Bullock, I'd go to Atlantic City. That's where I'd go in. I see, all right. If you were Steve Saneck, you'd go to Chicago.

Exactly. Flip-flop, criss-cross, applesauce. But, yeah, she goes, and like, on the way in, she's like, oh, my God, I have to tell them. And Jack Wharton's like, listen, don't tell them nothing. I got it. And now I'm like, fuck you, Jack Wharton. Yep. This should not be, because she's about to tell them, and he's like, no, no, no, don't do it.

Do not do it. I will take care of this. And, like, you are a dick, dude. It's insane. And I mean, is this also just still stemming from the fear of Glynis Johns is going to drop dead? Well, no, at this point, he's got this other crazy plan going on where he's going to gaslight and guilt Peter Gallagher into loving her, thus keeping her in the family. That's right. I forgot about all this because, like, he wakes up and it's kind of a funny thing of the shot of him, like, looking around the room.

This is, this is the shot I was talking about where the eyebrows are going ape shit. It is the eyebrows best scene in this movie. they're happy to be alive. They're like, they are. But so he looks and it's, you know, like, you know, mom, dad, grandma, old Saul. Righty, Bill. And then fucking Sandy is at the last, you know, and he has the line like, who are you or whatever. So Jack Wharton has this whole thing because they're like, oh, my God, he's got amnesia.

And he's like, you know, can I have the room for a minute with my godson? And you're totally right, Steve. This is exactly what he's trying to do is like, you know what kid, you spend two minutes with her. And if you don't feel in two minutes what it took us fucking seconds to realize about this angel that fell from heaven, well, you're a fucking schmuck.

Or a potts, he's called him a potts. Oh, and I guess I'm happier alive. Yes. Nice to see you. Could you imagine coming out of a coma? You're like, oh my God, I was in a coma. What day is it? What year is it? And then there's this woman and everyone says you were engaged. This would really, really

fuck you up. Like, sincerely fuck you up in a big bad way. All events called off. I got to tell you. When something like this happens, all events called off. We'll see what happens when I'm back out of this. Exactly, dude. Let's not make any big life choices right now.

It's kind of like quarantine engagements. You know, just take a little while. Wait to see how that's all true. Absolutely. Wait until there's a vaccine. Yeah. Now, we, it doesn't matter because this is all in, you know, the Act 3.5 here. But the first time of Jack Wharton being like,

don't worry I'm going to tell him he races off like a coward to go take a shit yes and she's like wait where the fuck did he go no you you think he's off to take a shit but he's actually he has to report back to control and smiley it's really something um yeah so then like he's like oh okay I guess I will and like this is what Bill Pullman and him have this scene where he's the orderly by the way the orderly in this movie uh is played by uh one of the sylons from Battlestar Galactica.

No shit. Yeah. Yeah, he's really fun on that show. Good. Ah, I see. Yeah, I've still seen precisely the first four episodes of Battlestar Galactica. And that's where it's stopped. I've seen two seasons. It's good. Are you going through it right now, or did you just watch two seasons? I watched

two seasons and then I got derailed and I've always meant to go back, but I'm waiting for it to do it with my watch. Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha. Doesn't matter. Sometime between Jack Wharton taking a shit and Jack Wharton talking to Peter Gallagher alone, it doesn't matter. But this is where Bill Pullman says, Peter Boyle, like, hey, man, I don't want your

fucking eerie furniture business anymore. You know, I want to build furniture. I'm building furniture. Like, this is my job. And by the way, rent heads. Bill Pullman's doing the right thing. Work of the day job. Burn the candle at both ends at night, building the furniture, man, trying to build up

that empire. He's being a real Benny. And, wow, nice. And Peter Boyle's like, oh, really? That's it. She's kidding. What she told me that years ago? Because there can't be any conflict in this movie whatsoever.

That's fine. It's cute. It's fine. Don't worry about it. It is kind of a funny thing, though. Because so many plot lines that are similar to this are like, oh, I'm dreading this. And like, just for example, our good friend Billy Campbell and Melrose plays. He wanted to get out of Malachi Thrones fucking furniture business. And that dude acted like a total douchebag about it. So, like, that fear is totally real. So it's kind of nice that this movie subverts that expectation of, oh, no, there's a big fucking scene

with Peter Boyle, they're going to get in a huge fight, and instead it's just like totally diffused, mainly because the movie's pushing two hours. But it's like, look, Jack, it's probably about time I tell you this. We were transporting drugs into furniture. That's our real business. Yeah, Jack, I forgot to tell you, son. My nickname is a wizard. I used to be a cab driver in New York City in the 1970s. You're making wood furniture. Yeah, there's nowhere to hide things in wood furniture. stuffed couches, boy. You know what, Raymore and Flanagan, that's the model. Raymore and Flanagan, some of the best furniture drug dealers in the business, son.

Yeah, but it's 1995. We're about to stop doing the overstuffed furniture. Really, Bill Pullman got out when the going is good. Oh, excellent timing. This is very smart. We're about to get to, like, sleek. Ah, which is too bad because, like, a nice overstuffed couch. It's good for a nap.

Thank you, Steve. I like a firmer sofa. Gotcha. Yeah, do-do over here. Yeah. Chris Cabin's firm sofas. I like a firm business you could have. So, yeah, the whole thing about, like, just, you know, I'm going to gaslight you here, boy, like, you're going to fall in love with her.

Don't worry about it. And, like, it works, though, because Peter Gallagher is just like, well, if she's good enough for my whole family, who I'm the black sheep of, kind of, but we don't really address it because you don't know anything about me. like, well, she's good enough for me. It's also because she's so charming. And it's also because he's lost about two thirds of his brain cells. He's been in a coma for six days. It's the equivalent of like butt chugging.

It's a weird line though, because he's like, what does he say? He's like, she's not your fiancee. Dot, dot, dot, dot. She's your guardian angel. He says, oh, I don't, I don't know what I love about her yet, but I'll spend the rest of my life finding out.

that's a real look dude you're a fucking high price lawyer you don't need to settle in that way it's not an arranged marriage dude speaking of arranged marriage i'm a little confused by the end of this movie so the next thing we know fucking sandra bullock has this like i don't know this musilini era wedding dress that she's trying on apollonia no i do not get this thing but my question is like why does the wedding need to happen now i think it's because he's all sort of like new lease on life, I need to get married right away. Yeah, he's gung-ho

about it. I'm going to change my life around and stop murdering prostitutes and chasing them around in the hallway with a chainsaw and I'm going to marry Sandra Bullock and I need to do it right now so that I don't murder anyone else. Or it's a weird, like, before I change my mind. Yeah.

You know. Griff's fade quick, man. We should say, what's her name comes back? Walker shows up in the movie in the flesh. She shows up to the hospital and he basically is like listen, I'm already engaged and she's like yelling at him and blah blah blah. There's this joke about

that he paid for her nose job and her breast augmentation. Yeah, that's something. Well it's kind of weird because she kind of no, she definitely does not have a leg to stand out in this movie because he's like, she's like

you asked me to marry you first and he's like Yeah, and you fucking said no. Yeah. So like, well, she's an impossibly bad character. Yeah, no, it's awful. It's an awful character. Am I dreaming? Did he say something about like hitting squirrels with rocks or something?

Yeah, so it's like this thing, here you go. So it's this thing where like they saw that when he was a kid, he was so sweet and he saved a bunch of squirrels and it made the local newspaper. But then he confesses to Bill Pullman. First, I knocked them out of their nest with. a rock and then I saved them so he's never been a good guy yeah he the only time he was ever good it was actually a terrible shitty thing that he did that he then spun to be oh my god he's like william hurt and broadcast news oh yes oh my god yep just living and laughing and lying I'm just going to be dealing with this for the rest of this episode Jesus Christ but to

Chris's way he introduced himself on this episode. Bill Pullman is bringing him Baskin Robbins during this conversation because he's got like all of it in his freezer. And what is the we were disgusted last night. It's the third or fourth Baskin Robbins plug

by the way. It is. Baskin Robbins and Dunkin' Donuts paid a lot of money to this movie. But and again this is so sad that this is a movie that I can be quoting so easily. But whatever. This is why I'm here, I guess. I could quote Weekend at Bernie's too. Don't be in bed.

Go ahead. So it's like, it's like, oh, this ice cream, this chocolate peanut butter is delicious. And he's like, my tastes are so much better now that I'm out of a coma. And Bill Pullman's like, cool, great. But it's chocolate mint. Yes. That's disgusting to mix those two flavors up. Chocolate and peanut butter and chocolate and mint.

You should not confuse with each other. Peter Gallagher should be staying in the hospital if you have mixed that up. That's a warning sign, I would say. My dude has triple-digit brain cells at this point. It's not good. We don't see him leave the hospital. He may not. He's not at the post, at the epilogue stuff.

You're totally right, yeah. Because they're getting married in the hospital. He's in a hospital gown. He puts a jacket on. I'm like, someone needs to stop this. We got to put the brakes on this. It's very soap operas. Soap operas loved a good hospital chapel wedding.

You know what this is? This is like Shutter Island. shit. Peter Gallagher went in there. They put them in there on purpose. That would be kind of rad, dude. What a fucking totally sick twist. I never saw it. I did see lots of hospital

weddings on all my children, though, which is why I made my reference. Yeah, so that's kind of it. Like, there's a thing where she's like, Saul, you're fired and fucking trying to like tell the truth here. And so

In the chapel, basically, like, it's a big coming clean thing. It's like, she's taking it right up to the wire, though. Like, she's walking down the aisle. They haven't yet done the, does anyone object? So she is technically ahead of the game. Sure. I'm just saying, like, in the grand scheme of, like, you should have told these people eight days ago.

Oh, for sure. You're really taking it up to the last second. You're not wrong, but I'm just saying she did technically have one more beat. right yeah she she she beat the beat I must confess that when I was watching this the other night and I was stoned out of my mind when they ask of like does anybody you know not want this to happen

I raise my hand a little bit me they don't get to it though that's the thing that's great though because like the guy's like dearly beloved and she's just like I object totally cuts it off and then her apology to the family I know it's creepy.

I know it's rom-com creepy, but it's also a movie. It's not real life. If I knew her in real life and she was doing this stuff, I'd be like, you're insane and you need to get in some serious therapy. But like, it is weird the way we judge rom-coms on a different, like, you guys are doing multiplicity coming up soon.

No one's like, excuse me, we can't clone humans. We will. I mean, I guess podcasts are, but the point is like, I agree with you. It's a movie. Like, it's sweet, and she apologizes to the family. And again, if it happened in real life, I'd be like, this is insane and we all need some therapy. But in a movie, I'm like, this is so sweet, and I hope you marry Bill Pullman.

Do you think, though, that this could ever, like, let's say this actually happened. Sure. And the person perpetrating this ruse intentionally or just got carried away gives this speech. And I think it's a very effective speech. I think Sandra Bullock does a good job like bringing home the emotion with it and everything. And again, it really, I keep saying this throughout this episode, but it really helps

that her entire family is dead and she has no one. Yeah. Because it really sort of gives her a little bit of an upper hand here. Do you think that a real life family would accept this apology? No. No, I mean, I think that's the thing is, I don't think you'd ever talk to this person again. You know what I mean?

Like, you'd be like, this, that, and the other thing. I can't believe. I mean, maybe Bill Pullman is like, yeah, you want to just go for a drink and they like fuck and then he's like yeah that was enough edla goes away maybe that's me being a horrible person which i am but i just don't i don't foresee the forgiveness but that's just i think you're dead on i think you're dead on i think that's it right there i think this is us being east coast people i'm forgetting that people from the midwest are much nicer than that's a really good point very very observant well a lot of people from the midwest are much nicer than we are you're more likely

to find a family like this in a Chicago suburb than you are in Queens or something. And we don't know how long it is between the wedding and when they forgive her in the epilogue scene. Right. It's still cold out. I don't think it's... Well, but it's Chicago.

That means it's what, June? Yeah, fair enough. I do also think that there is something the undercoat of this movie is that this family fucking hates Peter Gallagher. Yeah. Yeah. H-A-T-E-S this dude. That's why they're not at the they're not that like they're upset but they're not like i'm not going to go there twice in one day

i'm not going to sleep at the hospital you're totally right i mean because i think at the beginning too like when they're all getting there or something they make because they're like oh my god fiancee we even know we see it like they make some reference to like they they hadn't seen him in a while they don't really know like what's going because he's the black sheep he made all this money you know what i mean they he left the furniture business very specifically yes i think i think normally if you're seeing that voice voice mail cut. It's normally the mom being like, where are you? You coming to dinner? Where are you? We'll never see you anymore. We're having dinner. Your grandma misses you. You should come to dinner. Totally. There's a whole fucking tape collection of him ignoring his family somewhere in the apartment. Or it's a call from Jack from Bill Pullman being like, look, I got your letter with the pictures. Stop doing this. Stop sending me the girls you're sleeping with. Stop it. Congratulations. She's very attractive. This is creepy. Leave me alone. so all that happens and then our little epilogue here she's back at the toll booth

people are going through huckin pennies at her but they say it's something like it's her last day she's going to leave oh that's right because celeste she's finally moving yes you're totally right Celeste has a big goodbye I'll see you around kind of a thing is it said she's moving or moving on from working I don't remember and I've seen this movie a thousand times, so I don't know. It doesn't really matter because what happens, of course, to sort of screw up her plans is, you know, like

token comes in, token comes in, token comes in, oh, you hear the sound effect, what's that? Ring tossed in, got to say, Pullman, not too shabby. It's the sweetest little proposal. I love it. It's pretty great, but you know what? Don't bring your whole fucking family

for this. Dude, that's the thing. She fell in love with the family. It's a package deal. I know I'm not. I'm not great, but they're pretty fun. And you know what? For your honeymoon, we're going to an all-inclusive in the Dominican Republic together. Yeah.

It's suicide again for me. No, he takes her to Italy, which is where she always wanted to go. That's right, yeah. It's a nice thing. And she says it all on voiceover when they're leaving their wedding on the L train.

It's cute. Which that, man, I don't know that you're bypassing regulations to get that decoration. shit up. I don't know. Honestly, she worked so many fucking holidays. You know what I mean? Like, she's earned it. You know, the whole reason the boss

is even talking to is he wants her to work fucking St. Patrick's Day. Exactly. Oh, you want the subway to work on your wedding day. Why don't you grease the wheels? Let's see what you got. It is funny, though, because, like, this movie, the script in this movie

is solid enough that, like, you don't need her to end the movie with the narration. If you want to set it up, like, you don't need the voiceover. Her with fucking Peter Gallagher and stuff like that, the beginning, that makes sense because otherwise, how do you relay that she has like a big crush on it? I mean, I guess you could find a way to do it. But like at the end of it, I don't think you need it, except for what they drop here at the end of it. I like the narration at the end again because Sandra Bullock is really, really good at making this narration sound very natural. It sounds like she's

just delivering lines. It's very good. except for the last few words. Man, I mean, the balls on this movie to drop the titular line as the last thing you hear before credits. Wow, it's like you have one, you got fucking half your coat on. You got an arm through your coat.

You're getting ready. You got your fucking popcorn all over the floor already. Getting up to leave the theater. And then it's like, when did you fall in love? While you were sleeping. God damn it, titular line. It's a clunker, man. I have to say, in an otherwise,

more or less solid screenplay the titular line usage at the end did not need to happen. Yeah, I'm with you. Yeah. But that is the end of while you were sleeping. We will start with our esteemed guest today. Would you recommend this movie? I wonder what the answer will be.

Eh, no. I love this movie. I think it's a great rom-com. I know it's not going to be for everyone, but if you do like a rom-com and this is one that you missed, please go back. It's very charming.

I love it. I will watch it a million more times. There you go. We'll get the, the Blu-ray all set up for Christmas. Exactly. Steve Sadek? You know, it's a,

it's not a recommend for me. It's a little slow. It's a little dry. I think Sandra Bullock's really good in it, and I think that she's an underrated actress in general. I think, and I also think that, like, maybe this is my Bill Pullman. I'm not crazy about him in this movie.

I think she's got. better chemistry with him than he does with her like she sells I want this guy more than he sells I want this lady so that's just me maybe I'm nuts it's kind of a hangover movie for sure but it's a light no for me

Chris Cabin yeah I think I can see it working as a hangover movie it's also a very good example of the kind of movie like a brand of rom-coms in the 90s we had of like incredibly incredibly sad stories like

like this, the Paul Bearer, addicted to love where like all the the story itself is incredibly sad but the tone is so goofy and like alternative and like like slyly funny that like it just, it's a mess. This is sad in a different way

than those movies. This isn't sad, pathetic. This is sad, sad. I say that the sadness that this movie reminds me of is another episode, which how dare you all, I hate you, is you've got mail. I think that sometimes the rom-com, when it adds in the element of the dead parent,

it does create a really nice note of giving the characters a different place to be falling in love from. I think it works. I think it's really sweet. Addicted to love is a movie about sociopaths. Yeah, I mean, I would say, I actually, I totally agree with that

because her motivation is coming from a place of loneliness and not a place of like, I need a man. Yeah. You know, so she's not like man crazy like that in this movie. I mean, it's an insane thing that happens. I will say

I'm pretty sure I've been hungover to this movie before and it helped out. So I think it is a definite hangover movie. But, you know, I think this movie is totally charm. and I've seen it a bunch and like I've also seen a lot of fucking

insane rom-coms that I would not go back to like I would watch this 10 times before I ever popped on like my best friend's wedding again that's like an insane rom-com situation but like I think Chelsea you're right that like when you're when you change the

motivation for why we're trying to drum up the romance and you have it be something as ultra relatable as like loneliness like I think it changes it. And then plus, I mean, God forbid, you put in the fact that it said at the holidays. Loneliness at the holidays. Holy shit.

So I would totally recommend it. But that, I think, is going to do it. And while you were sleeping, Chelsea, thank you for hopping on in a pinch here. Thank you. You're letting me blabber on with my friends about one of my favorite movies. This has been a dream come true and such an honor.

Thank you guys so much. Well, there it is. That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to us. That's absolutely by far. this is officially the best episode of we hate movies. There you go. The one where the guys get complimented. Until I come back for rent.

But if you want more we hate movies of course check out patreon.com slash we hate movies even though we were technically supposed to be on summer break we are still cranking out episodes here in August including of course the big 501

on the we love movies feed on Patreon Superman the movie of course tying into episode 500 which was our big sell of a Superman 3 and 4 Redux. We did all new recordings to those previous episodes from the early days of the show, so if you haven't checked out at it yet. Definitely do so.

We have a Gleap glossary, of course, on Jar Jar Binks that is dropping or may have dropped at some point already this month. I'm not sure. We're recording a lot of this shit in advance. An Inspector Gadget animation damnation, of course, another nexus, and probably around this time we'll be releasing

the Nemesis Commentary. that has previously been released but is now unavailable but now is available only on our Patreon where we're moving that right over there as just another little thing we're giving you this month. Absolutely, so that just as a reminder

is the sinkable commentary to the final Star Trek The Next Generation film which was Nemesis, which was dog shit, but I think it was like our second commentary ever, right? Yep. So yeah, now that is,

we'll be, if not already, available to Patreon subscribers at the $8 level, Patreon.com slash we hate movies. And then, like, this is kind of weird because, again, we don't have our August break, but technically this is the end of season 10, which is totally bizarre.

Congratulations. It's no longer season 10. Gordon Ramsey yelling at a poor child chef. But, so the weird thing is we're only going to take one quick week off here if I'm reading our schedule correctly we will be unlocking the vault for just a week break

so Ready Player 1 is coming out of the Patreon vault and we're going to make that available to folk it's an old ass we hate movies episode that we did on the feed back when the we love movies feed was still we hate movies because that movie is doggone rotten but it's an all-timer episode we just

relisten to it it's fantastic you're going to like it if you haven't heard it already it's going to be a good one so check that out for next week and then the week after that season 11 of We Hate Movies kicking off, man. Do we know what we're doing, Steve Say that? Can we tease the people on the season premiere? We are going to do Toy Soldiers, a much stay tuned episode.

Much, much, much stay tuned. This is terrorists in a private school, high school or something? It's a tiny diehard again, because it's Sean Aston as the littlest diehard. And it's not Taps, which is the other one of these movies. Yes, exactly. Oh, I see. I've seen neither of them. actually. So I'm very excited for

it's just toy soldiers or toy soldier? Toy soldiers. You know, whenever I hear that title, I confuse it with small soldiers. Yeah, it's a different movie. But I think that's also probably a stay tuned at some point. I love that movie, but sure. Yeah, no, it's a fun one. Yeah, it would be fun to mess around with great Phil Hartman

in it and so on. But that is it. That is a cap on season 10. Enjoy Ready Player 1 on the main feed next week. And we will see you in a couple weeks for We Hate Movies Season 11. Thanks so much for sticking with us and we hope you are safe during the quarantine until season 11 kicks off in a couple weeks. I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Sadek. Baskin Robbins. Teltie Jupin. Take it easy and put on a mask, please.

That was a hate gum podcast.