We Hate Movies - S11: Episode 507 - Cool World

Episode Date: September 29, 2020

On this week's episode, the gang chats about the grandaddy of all Stay Tuned films, Cool World! Is this whole movie just an acid freakout? Is Cool World the origin of The Order of Boop? And why are there so many horny cartoons? PLUS: Is this Hell? IMPORTANT INFO CORRECTION: Contrary to what we mention on the plug here on this episode, we are appearing across BOTH weekends of the Salem Horror Fest! The first weekend (Oct. 2) our Animation Damnation on "Tales from the Cryptkeeper" is available and the second weekend (Oct. 9) you can catch our full-length WHM episode on Witchboard! Cool World stars Gabriel Byrne, Brad Pitt, Kim Basinger, and a bunch of professional voice actors debasing themselves; directed by Ralph Bakshi. WHM is donating 100% of our 2020 merch income to causes fighting for racial justice. For more information on how you can pitch in, head over to our website. Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the program, holy shit, this one sucks. It's Cool World. I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Sadek. Eric Siska. Chris Doodle. And we hate movies. Hello everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in, as always, to what has become sort of our accidental, unofficial. stay tuned month. This is one of the, I think we said last week, the mother of all stay tuned. The granddaddy of them all. Cool World from 1992 directed by Ralph Bakshi. What a fucking piece of shit this is. But before we get to it, we just want to make a note because if you're listening to this on the day it comes out,

this weekend kicks off the Salem Horror Fest, which is going virtual this year, which we are appearing in. Steve Sadek, if you have some info for the gang. Yeah, just want to be clear, we're on the second weekend, but there's a ton of great stuff for the first weekend as well. And there's an all-access pass that gets you everything. So you want to go to their website at Salem Horror Fest, SalemHarror.com and just grab all that info. But we are doing two episodes that you get when you get that weekend pass for the second weekend, which is on witchboard, a full-on episode on the film Witchboard. You get to see us do jokes.

See us, see us do jokes. And you also get a animation damnation on. Tales from the Cryptkeeper, right? That's the big, that's the big difference. We are doing the episode, what was it, game over? Game over about video game characters that come to life. Yeah, oh yeah. We should say, we should say that these are pre-recorded shows,

so we will not be live, we're not doing a Q&A or anything like that. We laid the episodes down several weeks ago. They were fun as hell. Witchboard, man, one of the fucking all-time craziest. Yeah, absolutely. It's live to tape. Live to tape. That's exciting, isn't it? Live to tape, dude, exactly.

Live to tape. There you go. See, Eric, you were the TV professional, man. I don't know all these fancy terms. Well, we should have done, if we had the foresight, we should have, like, actually rotoscoped some cartoons in with us and talk to them and stuff like that. Then we could actually do the jokes. Like, I want a joke, like, I want a manifestation of a joke as a cartoon. and then you do it, right?

And then you fuck it. Yeah. Also that. Speaking of fucking cartoons, man, this movie Cool World. Oh, wait, hold on. I got to stop you right there real quick. I just have to hit play real quick. Coming soon to theaters. It's the VHS trailer game. Oh, God, when I hear that sound, my nipples get erect.

It is the VHS trailer game. Yes, a bit of a surprise. I know I lied. I said it would be only once a month. but it was really great you guys I gave Steve the $3 so he is budgeted for the rest of the year to find VHS Day you are lying and

I would love $3 from you I'd fucking welcome it I would fucking welcome it but I don't have it no I've given you $3 in the past dude and I will do it again no this is a movie that I literally forgot I had on VHS so the timeline goes I'm like I gotta do the VHS trailer game in September

look at the schedule I'll do it with toy stores no trailers on that fuck you Steve I'll do it on ricochet. Let me buy another VHS tape. Then the other night, I'm like, let's go. I'm talking to my wife. Let's watch Cool World.

And she's like, well, you know, we have that on tape, right? I'm like, no, we don't. And then she just goes and pulls it out. So there it is. Wow. This is unprecedented. Two weeks in a row. Two weeks in a row.

I am wet about this, Steve. Let's do it. Yes, exactly. Just a quick reminder. I'm going to give everybody five clues. And they're going to go from point value, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Once somebody guesses in that round, they are out and have to come in in the next round, which is the next trailer.

And we're going to keep score the entire season. The winner at the end of the season gets to use the We Hate Movies Slush Fund to buy a cameo of their choice to make a celebrity say some stuff that they don't want to say. Love it. Steve, do you have the update from last week? Like, what are the standings? Yes, I have it right in my brain. You and Chris are tied at five apiece. Eric is yet to get on the board, but it's early.

You know what? We're not your playthings, game master. That's right. Thank you for reminding me. I am the game master right now. I should do you answer to answer Andrew's question until he refers to me as the game master only in this segment. I'm sorry, Game Master.

I'll do my penance on our next nexus meeting. Can I call your GM? Yes. Andrew also has to text me before he goes to sleep. pulling up the covers master okay slave this isn't weird at all master and servant that's what this is all about isn't it you sick fuck that's true and i'm guys i am waiting i got a dropbox links in your emails just you got to give me that collateral a sap all right all right sap pete before i send you my collateral do you want my pubs shaved or on a giraffe that's a that's a chef's choice there on with your riddles game master

So here's the situation. On the Cool World, we only have two trailers. Okay. They're both coming soon to video cassette. So these are movies that were out by the time Cool World was out. We're probably out even by the time Cool World's tape was out. Okay. Okay.

Now, question, are we still operating on this buzzer system where we raise our hand in this group chat? We do because the show is still remote folks due to the whole pandemic. Yeah, no, we got to do this. You got to raise your hand or else there's pure chaos. And how else is the beloved Game Master going to know who to call him? Oh, you know what? You're buttering up the Game Master. That's a good idea.

I'm starting to see why I'm not on the board. You got to get me fucking collateral, dude. Yeah, dude, start S and some D over there. What are you doing? Come on. Work for it. So there's only, by the way, I should say there's only two trailers because the third trailer, that was a trailer for the Cool World S-N-E-S game.

Oh, fuck, everything. by famously beleaguered a defunct video game, uh, uh, uh, company, Ocean. Oh, right. Ocean. I remember them. That game was a nightmare. Oh, you played it? Oh, I played it. It was horrible. It's, like, it just sucked. It was awful. Much like the movie we were about to talk about. Okay, so is it about, like, I like, fucking cartoons. No, you're Gabriel Byrne and you're in the world and like, you're just like, like the cop, the little cops are like, uh, uh, uh, like gumbas kind of. Like, like they come out. and like, attach themselves to you.

Oh, my God. I've played this. And the evil coins are also. Yes, the fucking, the wooden pennies or nickels. Yeah. And you give like, you have to, you have to bribe. The first level is you have to bribe the bouncer that he bounces. Oh, right. That was a great moment in this movie.

That's very good. All right. So two rounds of the trailer game coming up right now. Round one. The game master. clue. This is another shotly animated film with an edge to it, one that heavily

involves going to a fake amusement park. Eric, just buzzed in. I'm going to go with Bay Baye's kids. Eric is on the board with five big fucking points, dude. Dude, that was like zero hesitation. You knew Bay Bay Bayes kids off the bat. I watched Bay Bayes kids

all the time growing up. I just did. Join the perverts, Eric. You know what I found out in the when I was doing trivia for this it made its theatrical debut two years after the comedian who was like the star and they based it

on his whole act, he was dead for two years and then this movie came out. Really? Baby's kids? Yes. I don't know that. Robin Harris is the comedian's name was and like the trailer is like a lot of his stand-up because I guess the whole Babeay's kids was a bit. Yeah, I remember this now that it was

he like is doing all the bits from like I met this woman like things. Yeah. So how do I? Okay, that's, that's really, I did not know he had passed before that happened. All right. So Eric is on the board. All right. So now, the final, just a quick one this week. Oh, wait a second. I'm sorry, but just really quickly, Robin Harris, the guy you created Babeba's kids is fucking sweet dick Willie and do the right thing. That's who he is. Okay. And he's fucking pop and house party. Oh, that's, I did not know he was associated with Baybe's kids. You learn something new every day here on the VHS. trailer game. It's weird because the IMDB lists him and phase on love as doing the voice of Robin.

So I don't know if like phase on love came in and did an impression or maybe there was the live action stuff that was Robin Harris and then it turned into phase on love. I don't know. Gotcha. So just the devil's kids probably stay tuned at some point. Yeah, maybe. I think also house party. That might be a good like commentary track. Oh, totally dude. Yeah. I'm a big fan of house party. I've watched babies kids about as much times as I've watched the fugitive. We're leaving it there. Okay. Chris, I don't care.

All right. Game Master's Clue for the second and final round for this game. An indie starring vehicle for one of the stars of Cool World that surrounds music, love, and an outrageous haircut. That's Chris Cabin. That's John Swade. Yeah. Oh, man. Nice.

What was Johnny Swade? He's like, he wants to. to be like a rock singer he's like wooing Catherine Keener it's Brad Pitt by the way we should say it's Brad Pitt it's Brad Pitt and like there's you saw this VHS I know you did with him in a bathtub

I definitely did and I think I always confused it with Cool World so whenever I saw Cool World I thought Johnny Swade was that movie and Johnny Swade was Cool World I didn't realize there were two mega dumb Brad Pitt movies from around the same time and I should say just because it's fun to say trivia sometimes

apparently Nick Cave was in this movie and Nick Cave had an idea for his first scene as Freakstorm he would enter a bar and order a shot of tequila but be told by the bartender there's no salt available so instead he would lick a woman's armpit after the shot they filmed the scene but it didn't make it into the film oh it's that Nick's Cave's fucking house though

definitely we're keeping that one for the archives so that is the VHS trailer game After two weeks, Andrew's got five. Eric has five, and Chris has 10 points. Unbelievable. Love it. You know, that movie, Johnny Swade, was directed by Tom Dechillo, did Delirious, too, with Steve Bouchemmy and Michael Pitt.

Living in Oblivion. Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Interesting. See, you know, VHS trailer game, you guys, it's fun and educational at every turn. And wholesome. Certainly wholesome.

Yeah, so maybe see if you want to put us on after the, the Celebrity Family Fuck Fest or whatever you guys do. Yeah, exactly. Game Night or Steph Curry is like shooting, you know, golf balls or whatever. What about the fat guys from we hate movies? Talk about VHS trailers. Dude, I got to tell you, we were getting ready to watch the Emmys the other night. And we just had the station on to where it was going to air, ABC, I think.

And they had fucking Celebrity Family feud, dude. And it was Fallout Boy versus Weezer. Oh, I wanted to fucking die. I caught the end of that as well, but I was blind drunk at the time. That place stinks of Preparation H. And for some reason, Fallout Boy had Seth Green playing with them? Did somebody die, maybe? It looked like they were all there, and Weezer had everybody, but then, like, there was another woman playing with Weezer who I didn't know either.

Did a boy fall out, and they had to get Seth Green? That may have been what happened. All I know is that we turned it on and I didn't know it was celebrity family feud and I was looking at the person who was standing next to Steve Harvey and we both, Chelsea and I both fucking laughed hysterically. I was like, look how stupid this guy

looks. And then she went to the other room and then I was like, oh, that's Pete Wentz. Anyway, so cool world. Yeah, yeah. You know, this is one of those movies. Like we said, it was always a big stay tuned because people requested it a lot, obviously. We never got it in for listener

request month. This was the first time I had seen it in its entirety. I tried to watch it once before and heinously greened out before he even got to Cool World. And I'm glad I didn't finish it then because I'm glad that today, September the 23rd,

2020 is the only time I have to watch Cool World because fuck this movie. It is terrible. I mean, my law, so I think, so Steve at the top of the show, you mentioned this was like a granddaddy of a stay tuned and that is very relatable here because Brad Pitt is playing a World War II veteran, sort of like your granddaddy might have been if you're

the right age. Yeah. And he's one of these dudes that I imagine got like so friggin' horny overseas over Betty Boop that it's just a mental break with reality and he puts himself in a pervo cartoon realm in his head. You're so right. There's a break from reality because his mom dies. Maybe he just, maybe there's this movie as an acid freak out. This is the origins of the order of boop. The first seedlings of it. There is so much boop going on in this movie, man. And we should get out of the way now.

This is a beloved we hate movies trope here. Horny cartoons. I just can't take it. I hate it. I mean, you can't take it in doses, Roger Rabbit. It's just like, it's a matter of like how much you're doing. How far into the void are you staring? Okay, and I think the greatest way to sort of put it is there's no real scene in Roger Rabbit

where Eddie Valiant goes, and you know what, Jessica, why don't you close your legs? And then Jessica Rabbit spreads the eagle on a fucking bed. That's fair. That's okay. Like that's the level of horniness. The thing about Roger Rabbit is it does all of this and it does it all so much better. It is playing with like, oh man, what if there were horny cartoons? but it's just at a level like it's obviously super family friendly but at the same time like

it's all there if you watch it and it's it's just enough well we we i mean eric i mean and this is not even a shot against the bow here but you you famously are in an animation guy period really yeah kind of not i i like i you know i liked cartoons growing up i've always had a problem with your hatred for the simpsons but no he loves the simpsons you do like animation it's just like certain you have some pocket here movies is an interesting one to bring up, Chris, because when did I stop liking it, when it started getting bad? You know, I have to say, speaking of that, and, you know, whatever, rake me over the Coles, boys. But so we decided that our next, like, whenever there's, you know, we're just

like, while we're eating on the weekend or something, or like, you know, you got 23 minutes to kill. We've just been going past where we always stop with the Simpsons to see how far we can go. and I have to say now I've seen every episode like my whole thing was like I'd seen every episode of The Simpsons from 1 through 10 and then after that it got spotty so now we've been going and I've seen

every episode from 1 until we just started 16. Oh wow and I have to say as if you watch it as it went and you know you're just like I don't know I don't want to say it like

lulls you into like being okay with it being bad. There are definitely still, like, there are jokes in it that don't work. There are episodes that are flat out bad. But there are way, I'm laughing way more into season 16 of the Simpsons than I thought would ever be possible. And it's weird because I think,

at least me personally, what I attribute it to is there was a really long stretch of time where I just stopped watching the show. Like, somewhere around, like, starting high school, I just stopped watching The Simpsons. And then when I started, like, kind of trying to pick it back up, honestly, Steve, I think it was when, like, you and I became friends at purchase and it was like oh of course we like the simpsons and we tried to watch it

and it was like george w bush era simpsons and i was just like what is this what i don't understand and it just it felt so foreign to me and now just going through it it's like you can see the natural progression of how they're just adapting to like what that current climate was although i will say you can also tell there are definitely some writers on that show that also enjoy watching family guy because there are some moments that you're like that's a fucking bad family guy joke but overall i have to say still laughing in season 16th well you know you are you're a frog boiling in water if why and you know what that's fine but what in the ever-loving fuck else am i doing no i'm having fun i guess that's true but i guess what you could be doing was watching cartoons

that you could perhaps jerk off to well you know eric going back to what you were talking about earlier and your hatred of animation. You like The Simpsons, yada, yada, yada, you like enough. It's fine to like it. It's fine to like it. It's okay to like a movie. It's okay to jerk off to a cartoon. That's what I have to say. But I literally think this movie specifically is what you think all animation. It's like wearing beer goggles and you get to see what Eric looks at like Batman Mask of the Fantasim is.

It's this. This is what Eric thinks Wally is. Exactly. All those luscious tits and Mask of the Phantom. phantasm. Just look at it. I never saw it. I never saw. I don't think I ever saw any of the Batman cartoons besides the animated series, which I've only seen handfuls of. Interesting. Well, one day we're going to do that for We Love Movies for sure, because I love that movie. I, so this movie is about, it's a, it's a cartoon where it's a half cartoon, half-had live action, Roger Rabbit-style movie wherein people go into a cool world, wherein it's all really bad animation. It stars, Brad Pitt, Gabriel Byrne and Kim Bessinger. I don't know anything else to say. What's Roger Rabbit, like

the thing that set this fire off? Because Roger Rabbit came out of like 88. It had to be. Backshee used to make all these pervert cartoons. Let's get them back in here because this is what's selling. We get back to you in here and he got the pervert boom going. Oh, my God. They're jerking off the tunes again. Get them in here.

We've struck come. Oh, my God. White gold indeed, Kevin. Wack old boys tea Can you believe that back? Come is down to $2 a barrel? What? Dude, by the way, a barrel of cum, that's a lot of comb.

It's worth pointing out that Baxi, I think, was doing this way before Roger Rabbit was. Both, like, heavy traffic does this. The movie that's good, but I can't say the name of it, also does this. This meaning... Mixing... mixing animated characters in like real world settings. Got it, okay.

But like Roger Rabbit was what put this on a map on the map in a much larger way. I would say Roger Rabbit is why cool world gets made. Right. Now, Chris, I haven't seen a lot of the backshee stuff because obviously I'm sitting

out of animation a little bit. Sure. But I did, you know, he didn't, he wasn't involved in heavy metal, but I watched heavy metal recently, obviously stoned, and it was all right. It wasn't that bad. There were moments. I docked it because it does have obviously those moments of, well, this is

an adult cartoon. Take off that top there. You know? But it works because it's like an anthology. And maybe if Cool World was separated into different stories, it might work now, was any of Baxh's other films anthologies? Well, not the ones I've seen at least.

I mean, there's kind of like in the one whose name I can't say. goes it goes back and forth like between stories but it's not like a fluid story. Does that earn its name by the way? I mean I think it's one of his better movies I don't know what you mean by

Ernest. Well I mean if you if you does the subject matter in the movie correlate to the title. I mean it's I mean yes I guess I don't know what I don't know what you I don't know what that question is turned to do a a Senate hearing of all this a senator I don't know what you mean

I thought you were a big animation fan. Suddenly, he's going to have backing away. Let me see if I can try to be the person in the middle here. Sure. I yield my time. Eric, I think, are you asking Chris, like, is it named that just like, because that's the fucking sensational name we're going to do? Or does it play into, like, what the movie's about?

It plays into what the movie's about. Okay. There's a character named that. yeah okay okay gotcha another movie in this ilk which I actually just recently watched adult cartoon not quite as sexy

but bad rock and rule it is a it's like a rock and roll fantasia from like chicken in that there's a chicken star in that that's that's rockadoodle dude

is that true is that true it's no it's 100% true there's a there's a film called rock a doodle where there's like an elvisi-esque you know cock of the walk

who comes back to the hen house there. That's what I was thinking about. Rockadoodle don't. Yeah. Actually, you know what? That one works. That one works perfectly. I'm getting my mojo back

because I'm heated right now. Yeah, totally. No, rock and rule is like an Iggy Pop thing wherein I think Debbie Harry's involved as well. And it sounds so much better than it is. It really does. Yeah. I do think that, like, I mean, I do like a lot of,

not a lot of anime. I like some anime. You can have an adult-centered, what do you call it there? Animation thing, wherein sex is involved, and that's okay because that's what adults do. And, like, it's a facet of life and it's fine. But it is what you can really smell it when it's like, okay, someone's, this is just J.O. material, and that's all we're trying to do here. That's the thing is, like, you know, I don't watch a lot of, you know, my, like, feature-length animation kind of shit is like, you know, I watch the Pixar

movies. Miyazaki stuff is, you know, excellent. The dude never made a bad movie. You know, so that's like kind of my thing. But like, if you're like, hey man, like I just watched at Toronto, there's a new cartoon saloon movie,

you know, the Irish company that did like Song of the Sea and Secret of Kells. Their new one is called Wolf Walkers. It's fucking great. But it's like, you know, kid geared. But I don't mind when it gets adult but you're right Steve when it crosses that

line of like you better be fucking tugging it then I'm just like I'm out I don't need to be watching cartoons there's so much I mean so yeah we start off it's it's 1945 we're in Las Vegas which is wonderful and it's Brad Pitt comes back from war

he's playing Frank Harris or Frank is it Frank Harris Frank Harris? Frank Harris Frank Harris yeah Frank Harris yeah he's playing Frank Harris who's a guy who's back from war he gets picked up at his mom it's a very sweet scene he does this thing where he does this thing where he he's like, hey, Ma, close your eyes. Close your eyes. Keep him closed.

Keep closed, Bob. I want a motorcycle in a poker game for myself. Oh, okay. Great. I'm glad you really built this up for me, honey. I thought it was something for me, maybe, like a car. It would be great. It's also, because he says that he won it in a poker game in Italy.

And I was like, so, did our tax dollars pay for you to ship that fucking bike over here? Dude, what are we talking about? That's definitely going to be two seats, honey. I'm sorry, that the motorcycle takes up too. I'm sorry. I also shipped a bunch of cocaine back in the coffins of my fellow soldiers.

Exactly. Ma, close your eyes, close your eyes. It's coffins full of cocaine. I got to say, I was quite shocked. You know, so this is 92, figure they're shooting in like 90, 91, you know, because I don't know how long the horrible animation took to do. Maybe a fucking long weekend by the looks of this movie. But it had been a while since I'd watched,

like an old Brad Pitt movie and he looks like a goddamn baby and he sounds like a baby similarly to how when people are like oh yeah like such and such some nine year old episode of We Hate Movies and like we listen to a clip and it's just you got to turn it off immediately

you're right we are aging as well as Brad Pitt is. Oh absolutely in every in every way I mean even this movie though he could get it right he could pound my doodle absolutely no it's there's nothing like knocking him here it's just it was shocking to me he could going from my coloring book he really melts my crayon wax i actually kind of think he's bad in this

like outright bad in this of course he is everybody's fucking bad in this movie but like this is like this is a kind of character he was playing around then but like he plays it in thelman louise much better because he's supposed to be actually a con man whereas like this like he's supposed to be earnest and nice and i'm like well big difference big difference here chris cabby is that Thelman Louise, real movie. He's acting against people, not tennis balls, or whatever it was. Exactly. And that was all, and I mean, because, yeah, like, when you see him,

even like what he has scenes where he's, like, acting with Gabriel Byrne later in the movie where they're in the real world, it's so much better than when he's talking to fucking three cartoons and, like, not reacting to things. It doesn't remind me of whatever you watch, like, audition tapes of people, and it's really stilted and weird. And it's like, you know, Hugh Jackman. Talking to Brian Singer off screen, like, I'm the Wolverine.

I'm in a motorcycle now. And he's like rooming around an audition room or whatever, which is hilarious to watch. It's a truck seat. But whatever. But like it's that. It's like that stilted, quiet kind of nothingness. He looks like he's trying to find the ghost in the room. Yes.

Like he's hearing and he's like, where are you? Well, and that's the thing because, like, Eric, you made the gag about tennis balls. But like, this is way before that technology, obviously. And I feel like this movie was so goddamn cheap that it's like. like yeah I don't know she's gonna be standing nah probably somewhere over there so just look that way do your best we'll figure it out exactly someone's just feeding them lines and it's like the like because Gabriel Burns bad in this too oh for sure yeah yeah I but I do think um Brad Pitt at this era is he easily could have been uh if a couple things broke

differently he could have been Luke Perry or Jason Priestley really easily oh no doubt about it dude you're totally correct in that I mean if you're looking like if you were to be like okay like let me see what this Bradford Pitt characters all about. And you go and watch like this. Yeah. You'd be like, I don't know, he's some hunky man meat, but other than

that. I mean, those guys are handsome. He's beautiful. That's true. Like, that's the thing with it. Like, Legends of the Fall doesn't do well if it's just a handsome guy. It only does well if the guy is beautiful. That's true. He almost looks animated because he's you know, the picture perfect

man. A gorgeous human being. Was Legends of the Fall the one that really like sent him, Chris? I think that was like when they were doing a lot of interviews and he was a lot of magazine covers like with his shirt off. I mean, because Thelman Louise, he's not big enough in that movie to really be like a main part of it. That was

the year before this. He had this and John Thelman Louise and Johnny Swade in the same year. Everyone's through it I think is probably one of the breakthroughs. That's a big one. That's this year also. That's 1992. Oh shit. And also in 1992. I'm going to be spying on this at some point. What is it?

I got a little ways to go. He's in a season episode of Tales from the Crypt, you guys. One more Brad Pitt fact. Because I wrote down, he should have been on 902 or whatever. He was in a show called, he was in a show called Glory Days in 1990 that

got canceled. It's midseason replacement 9-0-2-0. Wow. So that's how close that got. Was that a high school or college type of? It was a guy. High school? Yeah, guys after high school, blah, blah, blah, figuring it out.

kind of a thing. Yeah, they're starting to go different ways. Yeah. It's called glory holes? Yeah, that's what it was going to different coming out next after the ball game. We got the season premiere of glory holes. This, uh, this budding television star Brad Pitt coming up

next on glory holes. The review says it sucks. Oh, sure does. So yeah, him and his mom go on a motorcycle ride and she's like being very careful. He's being very careful. and we're in, you know, Las Vegas

there's a big warehouse that just says gambling on it. I love it. Dude, I love this because it was, it's like the fucking creation of Las Vegas is like such a fascinating story. Like I want Ken Burns to do a fucking 12 hour Las Vegas movie. But like, oh, like, of course it was just like a desert town

where they went to gamble. And that's why I just love it's like a barn that's like gambling. And then there's a sign out front that's tinier and it's like, casino. Even, even that little shack. was owned by Lansky and fucking Bugsy Seagull. They had their fucking hands in that one too, don't you worry.

They got a piece. And this guy in his mall are going out and they're aggressively drunk driving. I love it. Oh my God. How, you know, cartoonishly, if I will, drunk they are. Yeah, I mean, it is kind of,

drunk driving is not funny, but this was kind of funny. Like, the way that they are acting is very cartoonish. This is the best part of the movie. It's the funniest part of the movie where they hit Brad Pitt and the mom off the motorcycle. Yeah, the mom is killed instantly. Brad Pitt. Yeah, Flashback City, dude. This was rough. Actually, you know what? In this moment

when he starts having the flashback right here, I was like, oh, this is actually a sign that he's a good actor. Yes. Because this is a thing where it's like, he doesn't have to worry about looking at a fucking thing that isn't there. You know what I mean? And it's just like him freaking out having this flashback thinking that there's been like mortar fire or whatever call of duty cool world man man you got to get those doodles out there that'll fucking buy that game don't worry about it um so like you know which gun am i supposed to use on this game i got slashing my sights i got slashing my sights take them out uh so like he is freaking out over the dead mother and thinking that there's

you know he's under fire and everything and we cut kind of confusingly to like this little cartoon scientist being like oh boy my spike is starting to work and then like it cuts right back to this man having a shell shock you know PTSD

and I'm like oh that's what this movie's gonna be isn't it right there in that moment I saw that little turd I was like I know I'm going to hate this movie so you'd never seen this even at all not even like glancing on it on cable or anything like that No, this was a, I always, I've always known what this movie was.

It was a big, you know, you saw the VHS at the video store, kind of a thing. And then like, I think it must have been like two years ago, maybe. I was like, you know what, like let's finally check it out. You like Brad Pitt, you like Gabriel Byrne, you know, you're like Kim Basinger. Let's see what's going on with Cool World. And I greened out like pretty much here, like at the motorcycle accident. And that was it. I never went back.

I see because I, like, once this was on rental, this wasn't an in theater this was a rental for me and uh i remember quite a little bit i'll be honest i mean like all i remember about was the kim basinger cartoon like i don't remember the plot at all i remember oh no i i watched this as a kid kind of like is this sexy and i was like oh no it's not you know what i mean like it's just one of those like i wanted to see i knew it was supposed to be sexy and i wasn't supposed to be watching it right et cetera et cetera and then i was like I expected it to be much more whatever than it was. And I'm like, this is kind of terrible.

Did you watch it all, though? I can't remember it even. It was on HBO or whatever the hell it was on. I definitely saw parts of this, like, as a teenager, and I think I was like, what are you guys? No. It's just Eric alone in this living room. What do you guys know?

Stands up in the middle of math class. What are we doing people? Oh, he's having a cool world flashback. He thinks he's in his living room. That doctor, Doc Whiskers, played by the great Maurice LaMarsh, the brain of Pinky and the Brain Fain. Oh, wow. Wow, it was really Maurice LaMarsh, dude. God damn.

I was looking old in this one. Those glasses are nice, though. I wonder where I got him. Yeah, I mean, and this is like, this is the, he's like very Betty Boop drawn, I feel like in that way of like, he could be one of like that grandpappy that she's always hanging around with that old fucking, that old fucking tweaker. Yeah, totally. Like, she's going over and, like, pity-fucking that guy. You, yeah, no, it's like fucking Bruce Dern. And once upon a time, dude, it's exactly the same.

Replace, take the glasses off, put a monocle on and a fancy suit. And he's like, Daddy Moneybags. Yes. Man, Betty Boop was a super spreader event. Thinking about all the VD. She's fucking all these dudes turning him into cartoons and whatnot. Yeah, it's a pity fuck. She goes over to make sure he's eating right.

You know what I mean? Like, he's just like, I've been tweaking Chitch Thursday. Like, let's get some food in here. Okay, all right. He just grabbing her assing. Baby poop loves me, so that's that. Here's my girlfriend, Betty Boop. Not everyone needs a stunt man, you know.

And so, yeah, like, he's like, oh, my little spike works or whatever. And then we cut back to Brad Pitt, and, like, as they're loading his mother's corpse into the ambulance, he starts screaming and just vanishes from the desert and is blasted into this cartoon realm which is like you can't see anything it's just like all totally dark with like some spotlights and he lands kind of like in front of this professor

and the scientist is saying like oh you know oh I was trying to go to the real world but I brought you into cool world I was trying to find my girlfriend Betty and you showed up first of all why are we called i mean like i guess if i got to name my own reality i'd call it cool world but i don't know would you no probably not because that is sad dude like i'm gonna create this fantasy world it's my cool world i guess it is such a dumb name it's like a bad screen name

you get stuck with it's like oh now the world is called cool world because i started this 20 years ago cool world and it's sequel awesome planet um and like this is when you know he's just talking. He's like, he's kind of very resigned to his fate in a cool world because obviously he's devastated by the loss of his mother. And we cut forward to 1992. And dude, we are fart rocking in a Las Vegas prison man. Holy shit. And here's Gabriel Byrne in prison. We're told at one point because he murdered a man who was sleeping with his wife, but the movie doesn't bother to explore that at all. I need that story. Yep. I need that story. I mean, it's very fascinating. The Gabriel Byrne

character represents like the criminality of animators and this is the character that probably represents Baxi in a way like like the soup the lust is so strong he will murder for it. Yeah I mean people some people

take up religion in prison some people just read some people exercise a lot he just had to make jerk off tunes. That's what how he took the time. I think it's but because you don't get pornography in prison, you know? So you're just doing your

cartoons, you're like, well, I find that I can't get a playboy with big bazombas in it, so I'm going to fucking draw them. What planet are we not able to hustle fucking pornography into a prison cell? Here's my problem. This dude's got a fucking drafting table

in his cell. Where, like what, is that, did Red get him that? Like, does he know a man to get it? You know what I mean? Did he talk to Red in the yard? And he that this fucking 12 foot drafting table. Gabriel Byrne makes the best Bruno in the joint, okay? So he can get whatever he wants.

I just, or does everyone, maybe this is, maybe this is C block for cartoon block, and everyone's got a drafting table in there. Maybe it's like, it's a creative arts prison all around, dude. Like remember when Oz was doing Shakespeare? Sure. You know, and fucking Schillinger got murdered. You know, it's like that.

Like we're doing plays. Maybe there's a short film class. the state of Nevada is really trying to cut down on the recidivism somebody's got an editing bay at his cell is what you're saying exactly right it's a it's a group effort man like yeah the line producer

he's in another cell you know you're right throat slash Larry you know the use of space in Antonioni movies is poetic let's can I hear more from the rest of the audience here this is a prison film club wow they're all doing that meanwhile this little creep is drawing fucking

naked ladies well He's drawn titty tunes, dude. Let me point something. In the trailer, they suggest that he started it in prison. See, and again, dude, it doesn't matter because you're not telling me that. In the movie, it's amazing how terrible this movie is written and constructed. This is to reinforce how cool, cool world is because it's like an outlaw art form. Right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I mean, and it's totally fun. It's actually more interesting if it's like, yeah, I created this in prison, and it took off and I've got this weird following and whatever but the movie never lets you into like what Gabriel Byrne is thinking and he's what what should be

the main character theoretically right yes right well that's like when I finished the movie I asked you guys I was like which one of these three actors is the protagonist because they're all sort of given equal weight like I understand the movie starts with Brad Pitt or whatever but like then there's just a long time

until we meet Brad Pitt again in the movie I think Gabriel Byrd and Kim Bacinger at the end of the movie are the losers and he is the winner and that's kind of where I took my right my points from I mean the start of the movie you are like seeing Brad Pitt as a human being going having come through the war and everything so it does feel like his narrative but it does get fractured to such a degree and then I'm watching him like wait a second he's a cop and cool world how did this all happen it would have been maybe fun or interesting to see the series of events that lead him to become a police officer there exactly or

you know at least say something about you know what i mean because i thought the same thing i was like so what do you mean you're a fucking cop in a world where like human beings are not supposed to be anyway it's great question i mean i feel like back she probably did was had all this there before the writer the the poltergeist team came in and they're the only uh credited writers he's not credited at all but he originally wrote it he wrote the original script he wrote it and they said absolutely not because it was too violent and then they got the like I guess the care they lifted the

characters and the general like premise and then the guys who did Pulterguise, Pulterguise 2 and marked for death I did this script and like it's a mess it's a fucking mess. And also apparently he wanted Brad Pitt

and to be Gabriel Burns character and the studio said no and he also wanted Drew Barrymore to be the Hollywood character and they said no as well so I think maybe that's maybe why Bradton gets so much. A 1992 Drew Barrymore? That's hey man that's what we're saying. You know what Ralph

Bakshi? I don't know man. It's okay. She's cartoon. It's fine. Yeah, exactly. It's like yikes. So like he gets out of prison pretty much immediately and like it seems like he was well liked in prison. He goes back to this dope-ass fucking like villa he's

got. I love that this house waited around for him but we should say before he gets out of the clink. Oh right. Yes. He's zaps into Cool World briefly and he's like watching all these wolves like salaciously look at Kim Basinger's character like doing a little dance and then he zaps back out like into the cell I would love to know how exactly that all works because um you know hey great idea Bradpid is transported due to this spike invention that that little old pervert doctor made yeah and then later towards the film that becomes kind of the whole thing that's like

like, it functions as like in the Super Mario Brothers movie, the worlds are then combining. So there's like a, there's a thing. There's this object that makes this happen. But with Gabriel Byrne, because I guess he's the inventor, he can just dip in and out, despite the fact that people in Cool World says it existed before him. So he just, I guess, taps into it and then draws what he sees that world is.

Well, see, that's why, I mean, so much of this movie, doesn't make any sense because it's like if Gabriel Byrne is creating this cartoon comic strip or comic book line in the 90s from prison how did this little turd exist back in the 40s? I think

there's something to be said about the fact that like when we're in the 40s and Brad Pitt goes to this world there is nothing there. It is just like this void you know what I mean and then maybe it's you're supposed to believe that Gabriel Byrne was able to sort of like fill in question the details and stuff.

The first guy comes to Betty Boop, and then suddenly Cool World starts existing, like, existing, like life sparks within. Oh, that makes sense, too. Well, it's a thing where, and we should talk about when you go there, you finally see what Cool World is. And it's one thing, I mean, like, Roger Rabbit, the thing is all these cartoon characters that you see, A, they're established characters, whatever. But, like, they all, like, in a scene, they're like, I'm at a bar, I'm going to go get a drink. I'm at a bar. I'm going to the bathroom. I'm at a bar, I'm enjoying this dance.

It's like just like bad animation on loop and sometimes it doesn't even matter what the characters are doing because no one's reacting. And it's like so frustrating. I mean, Roger Rabbit has like a point to it. It has it has a narrative. You understand Eddie Valiant's like whole motivation.

Yes, yeah, exactly. And I mean, that's the other thing too, Steve. You're totally right. Like every bit of animation in Who Frame Roger Rabbit like means something, there is so much shit in this movie like you said it's just like this cacophonous tornado of animated garbage but then also like those

weird moments where shit just flies by the camera and they don't like those like flying skulls and there's a moment where like Kim Basinger's like doing something sexy and all of these other little like animal looking things are just like running across the

screen but like they're not in the scene. I have a theory on this I think it's ghosts of doodles that never happened, maybe? Like he ripped up or didn't complete? What, did fucking Tom Cotton make this cartoon? Well, my question

is. He definitely jerked off to it. Oh, he certainly did. Look at that guy. That guy gone to Toontown. Look at his face. Dude, that guy's rubbed it raw to cartoons. Tom Cotton? Fucking blister dick, dude. Tom Cotton has jerked off to cartoons America. But he's not doing this is softcore to him. He goes

to deviate art where the real stuff is. I bet he likes like Muppets and shit too, you know? No, it's like, oh, it's Lois and Chris and they're fucking, oh, it's, he's fucking his mom, egg! Well, yes, I have to say that my favorite

erotic film is Meet the Feebles. Time come. My most erotic film is Stewie gets a bath or whatever. But here's, but like, my thing is, because they call, so we find out that humans are called

noids, which is hilarious. Right. And, short, humanoid, but also you've got to annoy the noid. But you're going to avoid the noid. At all thoughts. He annoys you. He's going to ruin your pizza, man.

I don't know. What's the last time the noid had ruined a pizza, you think? Oh, well, I think Well, they put him down. Didn't know that's what they put them down. Yeah. Four ruining pizzas. Yeah. You've ruined your last pizza, noid. It's the execution

for you. That would be hilarious if the instead of doing the like I know our pizza sucks thing they're like we're sorry but the noid was making all the pizzas that's what it is subpar sauce subpar cheese toppings the noid is like Santa Claus for

Domino's pizza right he's in every location at once he's making all the pizzas doing a terrible job we're firing the noid today we swear the whole noid thing like the fact that in cool world they have a slur against humans yet there's only one human which

is Brad Pitt and he's a cop and how do you get that authority if people actually don't like humans and why aren't there more humans if we're talking about humans to this degree? Great question. We've like they, that's the thing like they mention like one of these fucking disgusting things

mentioned something about like you know every once in a while a human coming through but like there's no there's no infrastructure for this fucking stupid ideas. So like they say somewhere I think Brad Pitt's like oh is he just another guy coming through on a dream. So I guess

sometimes you can dream and go to Cool World question mark. You can dream about fucking a cartoon. But my, so the cartoons are called doodles. And my theory on this, and it's gives me way too much credit. It's like anytime you doodle on your notebook,

it goes here. So like that big pointy S is like the mayor of Cool World, I guess. He's got the voice of Keith David. Oh my God, that would be awesome. And every time he talks, It just kind of like glows, like, in a pattern with his speech. Bow before me.

I am the weird S. As the mayor of Cool World, the shiny 3DS, I will proclaim and remind I didn't take it out for air. Ask the stick people vote against this. Yes, excuse me. You, Senator from Cool World District 4, half a half. drawn Wolverine, what do you have to say about this? Kelmy! I don't want to live like that!

And I name my lieutenant, weirdly skinny Homer Simpson. Okay, and what do you say, vainy cock and library book? A lute drawing of Mrs. Sanderson, please put your... Oh, you know, you have to be naked all the time. I'm sorry, I forgot you the lude drawing of Mrs. Sanderson. I apologize. My army of very hairy testicles. and our cousin from a different realm

that we've accepted as one of our own the calculator that says boobless it's all way better than cool it makes some sense at least like it's like oh every time you imagine something it comes here and they all like live in this chaos or whatever because it is just I mean one of my notes is is this hell

because it sure seems like it yeah at least like cartoon hell Again, Roger Rabbit, I can go to a bar, I could maybe hit on Betty Boop, and I can, like, go home and be done with it and, like, sleep in a relatively quiet fucking, you know, subdivision. But here, there's just fucking, like, chaos and shit, like, babies pissing on things. Well, because the other difference, there's a, he's wearing a diaper. First of all, first of all, Steve, he's wearing a diaper, and he has a Freddie Kruger claw hands to stop. And he pisses on things. You're right. He pisses in someone's mouth. He does that little thing. Yes, I forgot about that guy.

Because that's a character that's not a character, by the way, in case you're wondering. Also, yes. Right, but he's got fucking more screen time than Brad Pitt does. He does. It's a lot. It's truly a lot. There's this trio of like whatever's that are hanging around Hollywood. I guess they're kind of her minions.

One is either a baby or a man dressed as a baby with Freddie. Freddy, I don't know. He's a little monster. Yeah. Yeah. No, I know. It's, you know what it is actually? it's um he looks like when uh like the the little baby in the incredibles like jack jack turns

into like the little devil beast sure that's what it kind of looks like but much much shittier he also has like a like norma desmond cartoon next to him yes yes she's like a she kind of reminds me of um very specifically when uh eddie valiant goes to tune town and there's that that fake jessica rabbit that wants to fuck him so bad. Oh, yes. She kind of reminds me of that, like, you know, and there's a cartoon trope of that, you know, in those old Texaviris, whatever, is absolutely.

By the way, I have seen his Lord of the Rings movie, and that is also Nazi propaganda. Is it really? Well, I don't know. It's just, it's just crude, man. I just, I just can't get into his animation style. I wish I could. Eric, I wish I can't.

Eric has also called Bambi Nazi propaganda. So, I mean, this is all equaled out. Well, Disney's not that far. Yeah, pretty close. See, that's the dilemma of the animator and there are great ones out there and, you know, and I do like some animation. I was playing it up a little

bit before, but there is something that, I mean, I think this is an artist thing in general that you can veer to a really weird direction and with a medium that is primarily associated with children, it's just off-putting to me. Sure. I think there's

a lot right there, but there's also a lot wrong. It's also worth mentioning that, like, with the exception of some animas, the attempt to make American adults animated films has been a failure, abject failure. Because it goes to Edge Lord Town pretty quick.

Yeah. Like, sausage party also sucks. It's got to be in your face. It's like, and that's the thing is like, the best of anime is for adults, but not in your face. Like, Akira is not like trying to gross you out or something. Like, here is good. Like, So there are anime that I did, I have watched and I was like, oh, yeah, that's pretty good.

And as much as like, you know, Miyazaki is like family friendly, I mean, that shit can be appreciated on an adult level. Oh, sure. You know, and it's, it's beautiful. It's incredible filmmaking. And at no point are you like, wow, he's trying to be extreme. I mean, that's the gold standard there because it's like, I don't want, like, hypothetically, I don't have any children. But if I had a child and they walked in on me watching a cartoon, I would pray. that it was adequate in a moral sense. Zero, zero tentacles to be found. That's right. I always got

aroused by the bore dying in Princess Monanochi. Am I alone in that? Oh, no, I feel you on that. And I don't know, sometimes if I look at Porco Rosso the right way, dude. Oh, you did that? Especially if it's the dub with Michael Keaton doing it. I don't know. Something about that. So, uh, take me in your plane, pig man. Fly me into the clouds, pig man, just me and you to be alone. He, uh, Jack, out me, pigman. Jack Deebbs goes to a comic book store. And this is the problem.

He goes to a comic store and like, apparently he's like some fucking god. He's got a sick stack of comics, which I do want. One on the top is the new gods, which I'm like, ooh, that's a good run. Dude, you could see what the comic books were? On my VHS tape. Somehow I did. Wow. If you know how to look.

And people are like sniffing him around. And like when he goes to pay, there's this fairly sexy lady that behind the the counter. It was like, oh my God, you're Jack Debs. And, like, everyone's, like, losing their shit about it. And, like, she, like, pretty much throws herself at him. He's like, no, no, no, sorry, sweetheart. I got to go jerk off to a car. He was like, go out on a real human date with this attractive lady. Dude, you've been fucking jerking off for years. Exactly. He's out of your fucking pencil drawings. She looks like a member of a cover band of the B-52s. What else could you want? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Look at that bouffant. Come on.

wow actually you're totally right yeah and she's like hey maybe we can get some coffee no no no I've got to go back to cool world young lady dude it's so sad I have to go back to my friends and tell my stories no get fuck I mean also if you are one of your first stops out of prison is the comic book store please get the fuck out of here

excuse me I have to get the fuck out of here okay that's good okay all right so we're continuing the episode Steve is logged off yes bye Steve I do love the rude prick in this comic book store that like when everybody

like he's signing stuff and the other thing about it this guy fucking ruins the whole thing because like I feel like part of it was like and again this script is terrible and they cut this thing to ribbon so it doesn't make any sense but I think part of it may have been like

I'm gonna go to the comic book store so I'm gonna try to sell off some of these things maybe get a little dough while I get back on my feet and figure out my business with my cool world comic that's the other thing we don't know like how it's public there's no manager character.

We don't know what's going on there. So I think that's why he's there. And it's this kind of nice little moment where they're all fucking S and his D like sign my comics. This is great. Oh, I'm such a fan, blah, blah, blah. And then you get this asshole.

I love him. The size of the cartoon comic book guy on The Simpsons. And he's like, oh, hey, hey Debs, aren't you do a book on that guy you murdered? And like, everybody goes like totally silent, like total deuce chill and he's like

you know you killed that guy you found in bed with your wife hey Debs I'm about a comic book about that and I was like how about you drop dead my favorite character of the movie for sure and like yeah I don't know maybe I would be like fuck that guy that guy's a murderer

got straight of murderer come here and see this reformed murderer come here and see the reformed murderer we wonder why there's so much recidivism in this country you know what I mean it's like here's a dude fucking stand-up

citizen. He paid his debt to society. Who knows? Could have been a crime of passion. That sounds like a tales from the Crypt episode, by the way. And like, you know, that's the thing. It's like you don't know any of the circumstances, so you don't know how to feel about Gabriel Burns' character. They refuse to tell me what happened,

so I'm going to assume he was in the right. Okay? I'm just going to assume that. So you're going to have to deal with that shit now. Well, one way or another, dude, he's paid his debt to society, Kevin. And all homicides are justified. and that's just that's how I look at the world and I jerk off at cartoons

we should say as resident comic book expert for sure I should say very specifically there has never been and that's why that's reason number two this woman is you know fairly aggressively hitting on Gabriel Byrne there has never been a man

this good looking anywhere near a fucking comic book are you fucking kidding me have you seen Frank Miller this motherfucker can defend my realm I'll tell you that much. That's a Gabriel Byrne movie. I'm sorry. Oh.

You can the keep it. Excellent. We should also say I think my favorite Gabriel Byrne performance was a comic book movie when he played Johnny Storm and Hereditary.

That was awesome. He said flame on. Yeah, I got it. I didn't think about that movie for a second because I've seen it one time and I was like, what? Oh, right. Oh, right, people burning to death in that movie.

Yeah, so he, you know, he sells all those comic books, and the dude says that he kind of gets out of there. He fucking goes back to Cool World, and it's a little bit of a longer stay this time. He's, like, tormented by all these cartoons, and he meets Hollywood here, and it's Holly, H-O-L-L-I, and then capital W-O-U-L-L-D. and she's like she's fucking coming on to Gabriel Byrne and he's like oh yeah finally here we go and I think it's she to her to him says something about like he's being he's too hungry for or she's too hungry for what he's got or he's too hungry for what she's got I don't remember the delivery there it's something I think it's her to him by the way speaking of Hollywood did you guys see that the trivia I guess I think I saw on Wikipedia about the

Hollywood sign and how they put a 70-foot, like, tall, a cutout. It's a giant woman cartoon. She's sitting on the D, obviously, of Hollywood. And apparently a lot of people were pissed off about it. Yeah, I'm just trying to drive home here, man. Can I not think about cool world? Thank you. Yes. Stop reminding me about how I don't want to see cool world.

Thank you very much. This was a box office bomb, right? It opened it like six place. and it was like half the but it only like an entire run in theaters got half the budget of the film which is a small budget to begin it was only mid-14 and it cost 30 million yeah the i i but holly's character we should talk about because she's sort of she could be a main character or the main character she's aggressively horny the entire time and the first thing you really meet her after the dance scene is like she meets up with brad pitt and brad pitt's like holly i heard you

hanging out with all these do these noids you can't be doing that she's like i want a fucking noid really bad that's all i want i want to be real i want to be maryland monroe that's part of it too a big part of it rather well yeah she says to him in that scene like oh yeah you know i'm dressed as maryland monmarrow from i don't remember what movie it was um you know so yeah let's make love yes you're totally right thank you um you know and it's like oh this is the exact dress you Warren, let's make love and blah, blah, blah. And it's like, all right, I get it back. Shee, you want to fuck Marilyn Monroe.

Okay. Join the club, buddy. Thank you. But, yeah, so there is that weird thing where Brad Pitt's like, yeah, you had a, you had a, there was a report of a noid alert around here or something like that. Era, I've been shot, and now I've waken up in Cool World. I'm president, Jay Fank. I pledge to you people of Cool World I will be a great cartoon president

Oh shit will to fuck me because I'm a cartoon now Yay It's pronounced cartoon Hi there I'm JFK's exposed brain How are you all doing? Oh my God I mean I mentioned that because

Spoiler alert at the end of the movie Brad Pitt dies and then can go into Cool World anyway So Oh, my hello, it's me, JFK Georgia. Oh, my God. I'm Ted Kennedy's girlfriend. Oh, no. Well, that's not here for you, Dad.

Oh, my God. I'm QAnon. I don't know how he can be underwater still if he's running QAnon or whatever those morons. I think he's a murder. man in cool world. That's how that works. Is Q of QAnon

in Cool World? Is a Q world? Q instead of a C? Is that a... That's a great point, Eric, and I do think that there is an Ethernet cable

that fucking links up to 8chan and fucking Cool World for sure. Oh, absolutely. Dude, people like having sex with Pepe the Frog. Yeah. Oh, totally, dude.

They're fucking pounding that little guy. That poor little bad. Matthew Fury gets dropped into that place. Oh, boy. That is, yeah, cool world is Matthew Fury and it's just him and a bunch of fucking Nazis. Who is Matthew Fury? He's the guy who created Pepey the Frog. See a Feels Good Man on Amazon Rented. It's awesome.

It's a great documentary. I've been meaning to check that out. It's a great documentary. So it's worth a goddamn. Oh, yeah. It's really good. Because I, you know, I admit, I didn't see the trailer. I have not seen the movie, obviously.

but I just saw that that was a thing and I was like, absolutely not. No, I mean, it's about this guy that made this really cool, trippy cartoon. It's actually quite funny. It got hijacked by the all right. I forgot it was, it did not start out. Yes.

Okay, all right, interesting enough. And it's a really actually good, if you're wondering what that whole thing means. It's very good on that front. What do you mean if that whole thing? Pepe memes and like all the, like, how it's, where it started and where it started. Oh, I mean.

Why it was picked up. I'd be just as happy to see a documentary about those people burning in hell. But sure, maybe I'll check out the origin of how he became a meme. It was great if there was a documentary of people burning in hell. So if you get some finality, hell exists, I guess, but their lens is subjective in what they're showing of hell. Eric, excuse me, we have had this discussion. We know that there is recorded audio from hell. Yeah.

Dude, Art Bell told us about that. Was that in Russia? There was like a hole in the ground where people were screaming? Yes, no, that's so, this is so sidetracked. That was just a Russian prison camp, that's all. It's just under ground.

The only thing we can talk about is cartoon tits, so please talk about a fucking hole in Russia where people don't know what it was hell. No, so there was a traveling short film package from this past, this 2020 Sundance Film Festival. And so I played the program. I mean, one of the shorts was this documentary where the Soviet Union and the United States got into a different kind of, you know, Cold War situation over who could dig the biggest hole. And so the Soviet Union was really going hardcore, like digging this hole.

And they got to a point where they... Like Charles Bronson, the Great Escape. Yeah, but like, you know, a long way down. Yeah, oh, of course. they put like a microphone down there or something and like they heard a bunch of stuff on the recording and immediately

it was like oh well that's got to be hell and so then it just turned into this thing where like these crazy evangelicals and all these conspiracy nuts like Art Bell and everything. It's like tape trading of back in the old days before YouTube and we're sending our love down to hell

all the way down exactly So then all these people started passing this around And you can still find it on YouTube And it was like the voices of hell And I think they actually determined It was like just like the sound of seismic shifting and shit Because they were that far down

But it does sound like like wailing human voices And I used to listen to Art Bell on YouTube Years and years ago at my old job And I'm Unless they took it down That episode is also on YouTube of Art Bell And Art Bell was a treasure Well, Art Bell is still broadcasting live from hell, is that correct?

Yes, it's true. Oh, actually, he died and went into Cool World. Oh, that makes sense. Top of the Rocky Mountains here in Cool World. He did broadcast from Nevada, just like Brad Pitt here at the start of the film. Yes, I'm on a mountain top that's smoking a cigarette and has sunglasses. He tells me that the weather is good and fine. Wow, sounds like he's in California.

could we talk about the weird guy that's like purple and he looks like a fucking weird Roger Plotz from Doug? Yes, he does. This was a dude that I thought for a hot second. Was the villain of the movie? Because he should be because he's actually in the movie. That, yes. But also, I thought it was a weird thing where Brad Pitt was also voicing this guy.

I did too. But it's not. But he's just, I mean, like he does nothing. He's like kind of a villain that wants to fuck Hollywood. obviously. He's dating Hollywood at the beginning. God. Right. And towards the end, he eats crinkle cut French fries, which is probably the best animation of the film.

Also, a sign that he's a villain. I don't like crinkle cut. I don't like crinkle cut. I'm not a crinkle cut. I'm not a fan. I'm a steak or not a fan. I'm a steak fries person. No, you're not. I am indeed. Steak fries. I like steak fries. Listen, I won't just eat a whole sack of potatoes. I might just do that, dad.

I am co-signing steak fries. but I'm also caucusing with wrinkle fries over here because I like a both. I think the thing is a fried potato, sign me up, dude. I could throw a baked potato at me. I'd eat it. Well, that's what you're getting with a fucking steak fries, a baked potato.

Best of both worlds. I think if you took like five steak fries and put a rubber band around it, that's a potato. Also, I want to give credit, I had to look up the movie. The short is called The Deepest Hole directed by Matt McCormick that was at Sundance this year

I don't know where you can see it outside of this traveling thing but maybe like Google around for it it is well worth the watch how long is that again like less than 10 minutes okay cool I'll watch it then well we're looking forward to

director of Baraka and Sam Sarah's new movie Ron Frick his new movie about hell called fucking hell so whatever I mean like that guy's just around he comes to nothing like everybody else does basically Gabriel Road finally gets into Cool World for good now right this is how it goes and when he gets there like there's this whole sequence where like these three weird the weird

baby the lady that wants to fuck and this other these other things are around and they're like and this is kind of like a mission statement of Cool World is a very Disney-esque rabbit that's like really cute and it wants to like gamble with them something something and they're like playing dice. They're like shooting dice. And this rabbit is like who rats on them to the police because they're like, oh, I see there's a human being like canoodling

with a doodle like I'm going to narc on them or whatever because they are like chased by these weird like you know, keystoneish kind of cop sort of things. They're definitely Keystone-esque cops and that's what I think the baby pisses on them actually.

He does. Yes. Yep. Which is pretty great. But while they're doing this, they've kidnapped Gabriel Byrne and they're taking him to Holly. And Gabriel, I mean, Gabriel Byrne does not have a lot to do when he gets to Cool World. Really. It's crazy. He should be like, he should be fucking Neo at the end of the first Matrix movie or something in here. I would be having a fucking heart attack or be like, oh man, bad scagg. Oops. Yeah, totally. You know, again, you know, I point this out a lot, but like the reaction is not, you know, appropriate to what you are.

looking at, which is to say, if I was beamed into cool world, I don't think I'd stop screaming. No, and I wouldn't want to stay there. Or if it's a thing to spend, like, if it was a thing that I also knew that I created, I would just stand

there and be like, well, I'm crazy now. Like, I've lost it. I'm inside my cartoon world that I created with my hands while in prison. Okay. That's what it feels like to do this podcast. Absolutely. Especially last 10 months. quick question around the horn anyone see monkey bone is monkey bone better than this worse than this

it has to be better monkey bone monkey bone is a much better than this okay a might side better right i mean i haven't seen that since it was released i think i saw monkey bone in the theater it's it's a movie my my wife really loves uh it's the it's the it's the guy who did nightmare before christmas i think it's henry uh henry salick yeah is chris katana then yes he is oh man it's katan and like Brendan Fraser, right? I saw Chris Catan recently. And it was... He cut your sandwich the wrong one.

Hey, Katan, stop dancing and fucking cut my sandwich. Was he protesting the governor of Michigan? Yeah, Mango, you forgot the mustard. Oh, man. The unfortunate thing about Chris Katan is all of his S&L characters were, don't stand up to the light of day. No. No, no.

But no, he was on a W. Picks did a short-lived dating show, like a Zoom dating show. Oh, I think I saw a headline about this. Or did you tweet about it or something? I might have, yeah. I think I might have tweeted a picture of him debasing himself, but

appearing on this show, going on Zoom dates with ladies, and it was the most awkward thing I've ever seen. And it was, yeah, it was kind of a wonderful quarantine experience. So you'd rather him be at the deli is what you're saying. Or you'd rather be at the deli, I think. Of course, yeah. I would love to tower

over Chris Catan. dominate him in a deli. Monkey Bone was a movie that came out when I was just starting as an usher at the multiplex. And I remember, like, because you have to do like the, as an usher, you have to do like the quality checks all you go into theater and like, you make sure the air conditioning's okay. No one's beaten off. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

All that stuff. Have you ever caught one? Uh, beaters. No. I definitely saw people fucking. And I always, I can't remember what the movie is and that just kills me because that's, always like well what was the movie and it sucks that i can't remember but there was definitely fucking happening at one point uh but i remember like walking into the auditorium while monkey

bone was playing and just being like absolutely not it was before my real affinity for bad movies kicked in you know back when back when i had taste as a 16 year old kid so he like he meets holly she kind of like lays down the ground rules they don't fuck yet he goes back and then he comes back and like this is when like she's throwing a party that Brad Pitt can't get into is the idea, right? And this is sort of a secret. Oh, is this where he has to, he's, yes. He, uh,

yeah, no noids and he's got to scale the side of the building. Yes, we should say Brad Pitt A has a girlfriend, um, Lawnette. Lawnet. Right. It looks like another Hollywood-esque type character. Yeah, but a brunette and they don't fuck because she's a doodle and I ain't. Yeah.

By the way, is, is not fucking the cartoons the only law in cool world? It is. So then what the else are you doing with your time man he's just policing himself and then when gabriel burn shows up he's actually got some purpose in life saying hey hey don't fuck these things i think that's what you're right dude i think that's why he instantly is trying so hard to railroad gabriel burn because he's like finally someone here to do my job because otherwise like what are you a cop for i mean you're you're not arresting these cartoons that are throwing dice you're not arresting all the crazy stuff you know

the nuts-o things that are happening all throughout cool world, you're not keeping the order here, buddy, and you also appear to be the only detective. Like, you've got those Keystone cops guys, but you never see them, like, working together. There's perverts coming in and out, dude. And, well, you would arrest the drug addicts, except for the syringes are singing Dean Martin while it's happening.

But, like, he's... Brad Pitt's, like, celibate for, like, 40 fucking years. Yes. And then I see some other honking cockwalk, a human cockwalk in the door, And he's like, come on, dude, here's the thing. For some reason, we're not fucking them. And I'm, you know, I'm against fucking cartoons, obviously.

But if you're in the cartoon world and your brain is gone, whatever. It also seems like he could leave whatever he wants. And like, we find out like later it's part of his PTSD. Like, oh, you know, you could die in that world. Also, like, you could die in that world. There's a million ways that can kill you that have wars there. Like, you know, that's kind of a character thing. I don't know, dude.

I mean, like, so I guess the choice is immortality or, being able to fuck even at all and gets where I'm going. Yeah, exactly, dude. I'll see you later. I got to get it wet. And also, the other thing is, like, they never really, like, tell you whether or not Brad Pitt is aware of how much time has passed. And then he, like, casually is just, like, later in the movie, they all come into the real world. And he's like, yeah, yeah, something, something 50 years.

And I'm like, well, did it feel like 50 years to you, Brad Pitt? How do you instantly know that it's 1990? Judging by my experience of watching Cool World, it must have felt like a thousand years. Yeah, this movie's only what, like an hour and 45 minutes, but it feels like four hours. Yes, it does. And again, there's no, I mean, we're talking about,

there's like no real plot structure. It's like he, he, if the thing is Gabriel Byrton fucks her and she comes into the real world and it turns out of a fish out of water thing, which it does, that needs to happen in like minute 25. Absolutely, because that's what the movie has to be about. It's fucking splash, but with a car. cartoon sure that'd be fun sort of right that's of course it would something that's the only time in

the movie when any of this horse shit gets interesting and it's the last like 20 minutes that's what's so fucked up about the movie is that it like takes an hour where you're like this is long wind did nothing's happening and then it rushes everything in like 25 minutes exactly because there's so much just like what and again like what you're watching are like non sequiters of weird like you know betty boo best looking cartoons like smash each other's with malice and and, you know, Brad Pitt walks past it and doesn't comment on it. Like, that's what you're looking at. Right.

So, like, whatever, he's got this spider partner who's fun, you know, or something. He's, like, a nervous spider character who also has gotten it wet on the past. Like, hey, boss, remember, did I ever tell you about that time? I had sex with that woman. He does say that. I miss that line, dude, seriously? Oh, I had sex with this hussy or something like that. Oh, cool.

Yeah, it was a really cool world, man. I had sex with a lady. respecter. Oh, yeah. I got the line because that was a weird line. It's a weird line. Stacked Hussey from the projects. That's what he said. Really bad. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks, everybody. And I'd be like, you know what spider? Let me remind you that I haven't had sex in 50 years. So you know what spiders caught himself a couple flies. Oh my God. I would love it if that's what

Nails like his talk, Nails is the spider character. And he's he's talking with Bradford. He's like, yeah, you know, I had sex with this real woman from this, and you know what? I destroyed her world. I destroyed the whole world. It enveloped in itself. It turned into cartoons and then died. And, you know, now I found a new life here. And you know, it's not so

bad. But I would definitely say, no on fucking humans. I laid eggs in her sack. Oh, my God. You know, it's weird. I, you know, I had sex with this woman, and all of a sudden, here I am in suburban Maine, and there's all these little kids running around me. And here

I got to turn into a cloud. It's a real silly situation. I gay bash people for no reason, I guess. The guy who voices this Sparks character is an actor named Michael David Lally. Same year he's credited as playing a detective in Basic Instinct. But year before that, we saw him in previous episode The Rapture. Well, Sparks is not the spider. Oh, I thought it was.

Oh, I'm sorry. No Sparks. Yeah. Sparks. Sparks is the purple gangster. Oh, oh, oh, oh, I see. The great Charlie Adler is Nails who does the voice of. Oh, tons of stuff. He's Starscream and Transformers. All sorts of stuff. So, yeah, he's the great Charlie Adler. We call it. Gotcha. And that's serious, real deal voice actor. And that's, if I was going to say one thing I like about this movie, I like Nails. Yeah, he's fun. I think that's a fine little character. it's a fun looking character design like he's got a trait you know what I mean he's nervous you know it's a thing it's a thing that you can look at and you can say to yourself like all right he's like a little spider guy and he's got a hat on and it all fucking makes sense but the reason everyone likes him so much is he's like not hyper sexualized despite some dialogue precisely yeah

like Holly every second she's like I want to get fucked I want to get fucked I want to get fuck it's just annoying at that point somebody fuck this lady well because so like you know cartoons can fuck other cartoons right yeah yeah left and right oh i don't know man so fucking get over your gabriel burn thing and go fucking well she wants to be a real girl it's a very like you know pinocchio-esque kind of situation right and gabriel burns able to provide that by fucking her coming inside of her and then the human DNA mixes with tune DNA and she becomes a real person, right? Cartoon DNA. That's my question, because, like, Brad Pitt's got

this girlfriend. He even says the very vulgar line, I'm, like, a plug without a socket, because they can't, because she's, like, coming on to him, starts to kiss him, which is apparently okay, but I can't, baby, I can't. I'll destroy the reality. It's like, so, like, are hand job's okay? Can he, like, jerk?

Yeah. Could we do a thing where, like, he's jerking off on this side of the room? She's doing stuff on the other side. We're having fun. Can he, can he watch her fuck that spider? Yeah. See, that's the thing. Can there be cucking going on? Yeah, Jerry Falwell Jr. Yeah, exactly. Like, Brad Pickett's really drunk, falls on his face, and then watches

her get fucked by some other guy. Or, you know, yeah, is hand stuff okay? Mutual masturbation, cross-the-room masturbation. What if she tricks them off? One of those big Mickey Mouse gloves. Oh, see, that's like cool world condoms. Yeah, yeah. And then, like,

you do it in, like, a dexter room, just to be careful. Like, you put sheets all over the everything so you get all the DNA and you can throw it all cleanly in the garbage you can nicely fold it all up with all the fluids in there and burn it as yes as Eric says um yeah and they like so like blah blah blah like there's a long sequence we're scaling up this building it comes to nothing they kind that shit all looks terrible by the way as much as i love Brad Pitt and again you're only working with what you got but like him faking scaling this building is the dumbest he's ever looked in a movie. The sets

such as they are are when it's not when humans have to interact with cartoons it's actually like cardboard painted to look like a cartoon kind of a thing. And boy it looks like shit. It does. Even on my VHS I could say wow this looks like shit. Here's a question. Why does he have a real world

car? Maybe he set to wait for it or somebody came there and died. Did he win that in a fucking poker game in Cartoon Italy? Against Lando Calrizzian. because like he has this like all these inconsistencies were driving me crazy because he's got a real actual car but then he's smoking cartoon cigarettes that cartoon cigarette looks fucking ridiculous it's so bad don't give you cancer oh they give you fun cancer though it's like your lungs are getting

eaten away and they're like hey how's it going i'm eating away at your lungs yeah yeah you got a little like cancer cells talking to you it's nice and your bones, your, your, uh, your, uh, your, uh, rib cage as like a xylophone. Sure. Yeah. Your lungs talk like the, uh, cowboy bullets from Roger Rabbit. Ooh, I'm wheezed, buddy. Exactly.

Um, in this whole party scene, too, is where Holly says to Frank, this is where she's like, you know, Brett Pitt, you could have left at any time and you stick around and I'm like, again, I need this clearly defined. Yeah. How are people getting there? How are people leaving? Why does Brad, like, so we're told the beginning of the movie

that Brad Pitt gets sucked in there by the little fucking scientist guy, but then like when he does decide to go on the mission to, you know, get Holly back into Cool World, he's like, well, I got to go to the real world now and just like farts and he leaves. And it's like, what are the rules here, Bakshi? The rules are the tits need to be big

and they need to be in the front, in the frame at all times. And around here is when there's a call that goes out, one of these cartoon creatures just yells, man is in the bedroom. And it's like, that's the call that goes around Cool World because Gabriel Byrne is about to have sex with this cartoon. The funnier part is what they,

it's the, like the mother rabbit looking at it. And I remember that from the trailer being like, it's because it's a cute mother Disney rabbit. and she has two little cute Disney baby rabbits and that was a big turn in the that was when that movie sold me in the trailer I was like oh my god a man's fucking that

nice yeah and then like all the little like gross like that fucking gross baby with the Freddie Krueger gloves and all those things are like Holly said we could watch you fucking like this movie

and like the gag is they keep trying to like you know get up to like her million stories window and see what's going on. Right. You don't really see, I mean, thankfully, I mean, one thing we should say is that Bakshi had this movie much dirtier, but then like in the middle there was some skirmishes with Kim Basinger because she wanted that, like in the middle of filming, she

apparently, and this is all from Backshe's, who knows, she came in and said, you know what, I realized, I want this movie to be a movie that kids, little kids in hospitals can see and be inspired by. What an oddly specific request. And he says, well, Kim, you know, we've been filming this. thing for a while now. You can't just say it midstream. And then the producer, one producer agreed with her. So they toned stuff down

and yada, yada, yada, yada. It was supposed to be a hard R and now it's like a PG-13. I mean, you still can't show this to dying kids. No, no. There's no. You can, no. The answer's no. I mean, at that point, go one way or the other fully. That's kind of my problem is that like, if you're going to

do this, do this. Go full back. I agree. Backshe's other stuff is actually hard R. And I'm like, okay, I understand that. Right. Um, He said, she's fucking him. She's like, you know, fully clothed, writhing on. Gabriel Byrne does take a shirt off. And she's like cartoon playing with his nipples, which is a lot for me.

Dude, yeah. And I got to say Gabriel Byrne, shout out to huge nipples, man. He's got some real fucking teacup saucers down there. Holy shit. When he burns up in heredity, those fall off last. Boop boop pooh. Pepperonies. Yeah.

Pancake Gabby. Sylvie darling, bird. Hold on. I'm sorry. Pancake, Gabby. Dude, I guarantee you, if that ever gets back to Gabriel Byr, that dude is going to come to your house and fucking Black Irish punch you in the head and it's going to rule. Oh, he's going to fuck your ass up, dude.

It's going to be awesome. Pancake. Call it me Pancake Gabby for where you're in me grade school? Holy shit, Kevin. I hope we could film that and put it on Patreon. I was just thinking of Mustang Sally, but... Pancake Gaddy. I like it.

You got a slow. No, those big eggs down. I am disgusted with myself. He, like, has sex with her, and she starts to become a real woman, right? Yes. Yes. So it's sort of like she's his daughter in a way now. Yeah, I mean, it's sort of like a lot of things.

It's like, I mean, I guess that dirty old Geppetto is probably fucking Pinocchio or, like, sitting on his nose. I think that's what's going on, that Roberto Benini one. I've never cared to see. I never saw it. I got to tell you. So there was a much more recent, I want to say it was actually even like Italian language Pinocchio movie.

Sure. Different from this Roberto Benini one that came out like a while ago. And it didn't like get distribution in the United States, which is fine by me. But I received an email from like what I will politely call a Panukes. Pinocchio enthusiast who fucking wanted to know if we were going to play this movie

because he had watched all of these different versions of Pinocchio. Love Pinocchio. Oh my God. He did, dude. And it was just like, no, we're not going to play that movie. We were thinking about it. Now we're

definitely now. Now it's definitely off the table. Because I don't want to clean come off the back of the seat where I work. Did you know the other i think the one you're talking about the 2019 one yes that also has benini in it as geppetto oh does it really because he he's been pinocchio yeah he was pinocchio in 2002 so that was like in italy that's probably like they're avengers or something yes exactly like this is the biggest movie ever all right and now you know like 15 years later guess what pinocchio is now geppetto

pinocchio meets up with asterix and all the vikings all all the italians yeah i that was it was one of the creepier emails i've received in my career so she's she's real now and welcome to the real movie kim basing her obviously she'd been doing the voice and i think she i don't know like it's very clearly rhodoscoped a lot of the like her and the other woman that you see are like you know very like you know snow white looking like which is not bad no yeah the rotoscoping is kind of cool i think I guess it's not back she which surprised me today but I always thought heavy metal was but it's not yes and they they do lean on rotoscoping in there as well and it's kind of a neat effect it's yeah I mean I'm kind of curious I mean like again I'm curious about like did Kim basic or do like

the the stand didn't work or not probably not I'm gonna guess just from whatever you know what I'm gonna I'm gonna guess no also but it seems like you know the let's take up as little of Ms. Basinger's time as we can with Cool World. Hey Kim, are you still filming Cool World? We've got dinner reservations at five minutes. Hey, that's something I had a thought of, Steve. That's so funny. So, were, were they

married in 1992? I believe so. I think, didn't they meet like a year before on the marrying ban or the marrying kind? I forget what it's called. Oh, I don't know. But my question I had when I was watching this movie was like, oh, 1992 this came out. Did Alec Baldwin attend the premiere

of Cool World? A hundred percent. did. Are we going to walk the red carpet? Great. You know, for Cool World 2, they should get Tom 6 to tackle the project. Is it crazy to say a cartoon centipede? Yeah, it is crazy, but Tom 6 might be the visionary. Here's the thing. Tell me if I'm way off base here, but I think I personally would rather watch the human centipede again than watch Cool. Yep. Without that, I can strongly say yes. Right, okay. As much as I hate it, but the fact is it's a movie, there are characters and a plot, and this is just nonsense.

Although, to say something very nice about this movie, outside one of these clubs, there were like dancing skeletons, smoking cigars. Yep, yep. More of that, please. Yeah, I'll spin off of those happy characters. Totally. I want the skeleton show, man. This definitely send a peed over this, but not strong. I want to ask you guys a question about the tail end of the sex scene here and tail end is pun intended

because like when she has the orgasm to turn her into a real person all the little creeps that are outside watching all like fall off this building and I'm pretty sure that I saw this happen the one of the things one of these big creatures that falls the camera like falls through his assholes yes I think that's that's a really that's a real thing. Yep. Okay, because that's just fantastic filmmaking. That's one doodle that can't be undone, I was like, there's that thing's asshole. Okay, I just

had a cartoon gap scene while watching Cool Roll. Thank you very much. You see his asshole and then he gets this weird rock from Africa in a bunch of, shifted a bunch of fish. He has to sell his New York Knicks ring. It's really take this to the gambling shack in Nevada oh man so she's a real person and then the next step

is obviously well she wants to get into the real world we got to do it I'm a human now let's get out of here kind of a thing spider confronts her and she sucks them up into a fountain pen oh yes yes the found pen is an interesting thing because I guess it's Gabriel Byrne brings this fountain pen into the world of cool world and it's like a god killer gun like they could suck people and like undo them or later on explode them even but like when brad pitt sees it he's not like oh what fuck he's like you might want to put that like it's a fucking like a uh a a switch blade or something like you got to confiscate this brad pit that's absolutely for sure like when the spider gets sucked up into that pen there's some other weird little pervert cartoon that's like oh man a pen job

it's disturbing and I mean you gotta pay for a pen job to get penned by a beautiful woman like that you got paper really a lot I mean you know when Brad when Brad Pitt was yelling at Gabriel Byrne about having that pen in the first place I thought it was and again I think this would be a little more interesting

like because uh oh like here's a thing where you can use this device and like create anything because this is a cartoon world yeah you know what I mean like he doesn't want him like drawing rogue things but like inside cool world But this is also like the, it's like the dip. It's like, it seems like the only way you can really die.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you're totally right. And the dip, by the way, again, and Roger Rabbit is really well explained. And you know exactly what I can do and it can't do, where it is and how it works. As crazy as that world is, you know that world. Yes.

This you don't know this world. So she sucks up this spider, huh? And Brad Pitt is distraught and he realizes he has to go in there and save them or else, like, reality is going to melt. And to your point, I believe this is you, Eric, very Mario Brothers style. Very Mario Brothers. Also reminded me of when the ghosts are out of the containment unit and Ghostbusters. Yes, because, yeah, when the cartoons are running amok on the Vegas strip later, very much so. By the way, I actually, when I was watching this movie earlier today, guys, you know, when Kim Bays and everybody becomes a real woman, I wrote a little joke down.

I want to try it out on you guys. All right, get the blue card out. Let's see. so once she becomes a real woman what's her social security number Kilroy was here yeah I mean there's a lot of people listening to this

so someone's laughing I'm positive you guys know what the Kilroy was here thing right was a little doodle yeah what's cartoon I don't know what you're talking about dude I know Kilroy was here

I just didn't care for the joke well explain it to me maybe I'll be amused by it Um, well, it's, uh, it goes, it goes back a long time. Like there's been a, uh, you know, it's, is this popularized, uh, little thing, guy of the big nose looking down over like a fence post. Okay. Okay. And it's just a, yeah. And that's just a, uh, that's, it's like, it's graffiti. Yeah, it's graffiti. Um, the biggest, uh, usage of it in something that I actually like was Kelly's heroes when they steal the money in the end. They, right, Kilroy was here on the wall. but it's kind of like I think it's been around for a while but it's definitely cemented in

boomer culture. You know, 70s and such. The order of boop feuds with the Kilroy Society. The Kilroy Society! Oh, well, okay, so it was made popular during World War II, I see. The doodle became associated with

GIs in the 1940s, a bald-headed man with a prominent nose peaking over a wall with his fingers clutching the wall. Yeah, okay, I have seen this before. I just didn't know what the little guy was. Well, there. I'm glad that this is an educational show. There's some younger listeners who do partake in the We Hate Movies Experience, we

call it. Rate and review. Wherever you get the show. Tell your friends. You know, when you're boogieboarding or whatever you kids do. That's what they're doing. They're all boogie boarding out there, aren't they? Now, you're all boogie boarding on TikTok these days.

Oh, just you and your boogie boards, boogieing around or on your boards, on your boogie. Filming it for your tick cock. I look at it on your tweeters. Look at it there. So she's like, okay, cool. Like, we're in Vegas, man. Let's go to a nightclub and check it out.

And you know what I didn't expect to have happening cool world? A fucking cameo by Frank Sinatra Jr. What are we doing anybody? You want to talk, first of all, do you want to clarify, Alec Baldwin and Kim Basicer got married in 93, but they probably were dating at this point. Oh, yeah. Oh, I got to take my girlfriend to a computer for a new movie. Really cool something.

Hey, wouldn't you like to make a couple little piggies like those up there? No, what I'm saying is we're going to have a daughter. We're going to love her, but eventually I'm going to verbally abuse her and call her a pig. Well, you know, in his defense, she probably had a comic. So, but my question, you want to talk about Alec Baldwin going to the Cool World premiere? And I'm not saying he went to the premiere. But did Frank Sinatra ever see Cool World? Like, hey, hey, Dad, I got my new movies here.

You want to just, we'll smoke a cigar and watch it. Get the fuck out of here. No, I don't think Frank Sinatra ever saw Cool World, dude. Maybe they put it on, but he was instantly drunk and pissing himself in a sleep. That's the thing. Frank Sinatra was in a room physically where Cool World was also playing. He had no memory of the movie. I feel like if he did, he would have to be physically restrained from calling his, let's call them, friends from hitting Ralph Bakshi, getting him to an ad.

Oh, Ralph Bakshi, if I was on, he's on the phone. They're just, you know, the movie's playing. He's like, I want 12 Lodge on the Rams. Okay, Bexhi, okay, yeah. And, well, he's half Italian. Why would you want? What's the other half? Oh. Okay, yeah. Yeah, I could kill him. Yeah, absolutely. oh well i did not know that frank sinatra junior passed away a few years ago 72 he died in uh 2016 but he was actually in in some movies here i thought this was just kind of like a sort of like a one-off weird cameo thing because they were in Vegas but he had a little bit of an acting career i mean nothing amazing but you know i forgot he plays himself on an episode of the sopranos also i mean i didn't know a frank sinatra jr existed until you guys told me no i knew that when i saw him i was like up there's frank

Sinatra Jr. and I don't know why I did. You know, but I do. Because he only like the littlest bit looks like Frank Sinatra. He looks more like Ray Leota playing Frank Sinatra in that movie. Actually, I found a picture of him younger with Frank Sinatra and they're next to each other and it kind of it kind of works better if they were in the same room together. Wait, hold on, hold on. Let me into this restaurant. Let me get my dad. You'll see that I'm related to my dad. Hey, this is my first son, Frank Jr. I had. when I was 14. Say hello to everybody, Frank. I had him when I was 14.

So she, by the way, we should say that there's a neighbor character that is like, oh, what are we doing? I totally forgot about this. There's a nosy neighbor, Michelle Abrams from Buffy, the Vampires of the movie, and she's also 90210. 902. If you're a fan of our free series, Melro 210, you can go back and listen to that episode with Amir Blumenfeld, by the way, with on that episode. But her and her mom kind of come in, are like, are you okay? And it's like, yes, we're fine. Okay.

And that's kind of it. And then like she becomes a character later on, but she's kind of around. When they, I mean, here's the thing. Like, I want fish out of water jokes. What if, like, Kim Basinger was like, you know what I want? A T-bone steak. And she eats it. And she's like, oh, my God, real food.

Like, there are more sexual pleasures in the world than Gabriel Burns fucking got. Well, not only is that, like, also all these other dudes' cocks, she tries to get a little later. Yeah, I don't know. Paynecake Gabby probably has a pretty good sausage. That's true. I'm sure Pancake Gabby does have a great sausage, but it's just, it's a thing where like, she could like want to like, oh, wow, fresh air. Holy shit. Ooh, a cigarette.

You know what I mean? Like, anything like that. Totally. No, you're totally right, dude. I mean, there's so, it just feels like so much of this shit was an. afterthought to these people that are getting to make a movie like that's what's so frustrating about this and it's like there's a weird thing that they never explained away where the reason that they go over there it's the woman from 90210 and her mother uh and i did i don't know what's going on here

what age is this daughter supposed to be excellent question because she's like living with her mother but it's like are you the age of the actor or are you like your 902108 yes i don't know what's going I think it's 18 exactly. Yeah. But they go over because there's smoke. They enter from Cool World, Gabriel Byrne and Kim Basinger, and there's like smoke all over the house.

So they go over thinking like the house is on fire because the mother's like, oh, we shouldn't bother them. And she's the daughter's like, no, no, no, we're neighbors. We have to make sure he's all right. And they walk in the house. And I'm like, well, what was that smoke? I've seen Gabriel Byrne leave and come back from Cool World multiple

times already and there's never been a fog machine on the set what are you doing? Why is the house filled with smoke? It's Kim Basinger because she's hot. Oh, she's smoking. That's right. Yeah, smoke show. Yeah, so they're in, they go to this

nightclub and Frank Sinatra Jr. is singing and she gets up there because she was a nightclub singer in Cool World so it's like, oh cool look, it's things that I know how to do. But meanwhile, she's sitting down, she's sitting down, oh my god look at that guy oh my god look at that guy she's like a baby because then she you know gabriel burns like okay like what what cocktail do you want and she's like well i don't

know well they've like 90 different options she's like i want every single one and he's like you need to slow down you're being stupid it's it's weird that they did this because she does like a variation of this and my stepmother is an alien like is almost exactly like this except and she is horny all the time and that one too and that's it's a stay tuned it is big time But, like, I've never seen it. Dan Eckwood. She's eating food. Like, she's, like, interacted with cigarettes. It doesn't know what cigarettes are. Like, stuff like that. That's what I want.

Yes. Yeah. Speaking of Dan Aykroyd, she's got to act like a fucking cone head. Oh, dude, heard a subway sandwich, dude. Aye, hey, hey, don't get me started. The best thing that ever happened to me when I was interning at Conan O'Brien's old show was he, not him, but like, maybe it was one of the writers or something. It was like, I need you to go and buy on DVD, my stepmom is an alien. And I did that task admirably. For a bit?

I don't think so. It was Friday. Eric, I need you to do my Christmas shop. It's time for a nostalgia jerk, okay? So just give me the DVD of my stepmother as an alien. Exactly. So yeah, and like, so she gets up and she starts dancing with Frank Sinatra and all these guys are like, oh, man. And they're kind of acting almost wolfish.

Like, you know, that's a parallel thing. And sure. Gable Burns like, she's with me. God damn it. kick him out of the club he gets kicked out by the way you see where he's in front of a woolworth that took me back oh wow i didn't even notice it all right p d woolworth um and this is when he starts turning Gabriel burn does turn into a cartoon but for some reason it's like a clown cartoon question mark i don't know what this is supposed to be she also starts tuning out like on stage

she's turning into some like crazy redheaded looking lady and why wouldn't she just turn into the fucking cartoon that she was. That's a great point. But people start clapping because it's like, is this a talent show? Because, I mean, it's impressive to suddenly turn into a cartoon. Yeah. Wow. I never seen that happen before. He also gets kicked out, right? Because he's

like, you know, no, no, no, she's with me. And these dudes are like, no, no, no, no, she's with us. Yeah, that's the like, she's with us. It's amazing. And is this where also the creepy, like, he grabs the dude's face and like cartoon lightning comes out of it? Very vague cartoon lightning is involved.

this part of the film. Because obviously the superheroes, and we'll get to it, I mean, superheroes are perverted cartoonists. That's true. But like he has Mickey Mouse hands. It's not like a superhero look. Like the first evolution looks like he's about

to turn it to Mickey fucking mouse. And I would prefer that movie, honestly. Yep. Oh boy, look at my huge nipples. Pancake Cabby is back, baby. So they like get into a car and like he's trying to tell her like, look, you know, we got to slow down and got to figure this out. This is when she like kicks him a bunch and kicks him out of the car, that sort of something. She kicks him in the face a bunch while he's driving and they

almost slam right into a Coors Light truck. Look out for delicious Coors Light. And like while this is happening, this is when Brad Pitt is like, oh, he's. yeah, sorry Launette or whatever the fucker name is. Yeah, Launette. I'm going to think about my dead mother and bring myself back to the real world, which is what he does. He just thinks about his mother's dead body and lightning strikes and he goes back to Vegas. So he's zapping around. But yeah, she kicks him out of the car and, like, ditches him. Because her whole thing, by the way, is she's heard legend of Vegas Vinnie, who was a cartoon who escaped cool world with this device known as the Spike.

and hit it somewhere in Las Vegas and became the king of Las Vegas and was like a secret cartoon living as a person, I guess. Oh, hold on. Hello, it's the mafia. Who's the king of Las Vegas? Oh, hey. You're calling yourself Vegas Vinnie. Oh, that's dumb.

The name is Bugsy Siegel. Okay? Get it right. If there wasn't like, if you didn't know the mafia history, Bugsy Siegel kind of sounds like a cartoon. Exactly. An adorable cartoon, actually. Meyer Lansky, too, a little bit.

Yeah, so that's what she's looking for. Meyer Lansky, he'll make your dreams come true. It's a little like Lansky babies. Oh, that's cute. I like it. Mafia babies would be great. The whole series of mafia babies, Lucky Luciano.

That would be awesome. Little Meyer, did you put two in the back of the dog's head again? Oh, you know what? We saw a little John Gotti cheating on that test, but nothing that sticks to that guy, man. Oh, I'm the Teflon Don. Oh, man, he got blood all over the walls. You're going to have to clean this up yourself.

You know, it's not like crayons. It's not that easy. By the way, again, we always have to preface as things, you know, pro-Mafia podcast. Of course. Absolutely. You know, legitimate businessmen, protecting the communities.

I was disgusted with the way that John Gotti was portrayed on screen and E's movie with John Travelda. Disgusted. it's disturbing honestly that portrayal um so you know they protect us more than um the i don't know halls of government these days absolutely well that's why we i mean we hate qanonan as a group because they took down a mighty hero the mob boss from statin island i forget exactly i mean that's quite it's right there i mean i keep thinking qanonon versus mafia would be a great film would be i'm i'm saying man you know the mafia i know you're out there we need you to start looking

into this. We respect you so much and we think you're being disrespected here and I think you need to make a, you know, make the Q and the Q&N people, you know, understand something. Get rid of Q&ON and all existing copies of Cool Rule because it's a total disgrace. Yeah, and that Mark Zuckerberg or Facebook, I don't know, look into it. Yeah, I heard he hates the mafia. Yeah. He loves Q&ON, he makes a lot of money off of it. That's true. He does. Money we could be making. Call us. So Gabriel Byrne meets up with Brad Pitt and they're like, oh, we have to

stop holly together and then the michelle abram's the uh the neighbor girl is like well i can drive and again like yeah is she like 16 or is she 23 i need to know the difference i yeah i really don't know what's going on here there's also a confusing thing did you guys get the sense that when brad pick comes back into the real world he's coming back in with those injuries he's sustained in the motorcycle accident looked like it right right because i feel like that's another thing that they just totally gloss over because he leaves cool world looking like he's looked and he gets back to the real world and all of a

sudden he's got like a forehead gash and a scratch on his chin and he's like holding his internal organs together and I was like... That could be stakes added into your movie. Exactly like oh fuck I'm like bleeding internally from a 50 year old car accident. Maybe he's 90 years old now.

Yeah like Castro America. Yes. And I need something by the way where Brad Pitt looks at a car and is like what the fuck is that thing? Sure, that's a movie. Like, cars look like that now? Like, oh, my God, I've been not on this planet for 50 years. I've been living among cartoons. What is that hired bird?

Brad, they had airplanes when you were alive. Oh, right. Yeah, I almost forgot about those. We don't have those in cool world. Where are all the farms? Yes, like, that's the thing, specifically. Is he is on the Vegas strip, and he's

not like, holy hell, what is all of this? He's like, totally unfazed. And like, there's so much interesting fish out of water stuff that this movie could be doing. Instead, we got to climb to the top of a hotel so she can pull this device out of a lighting fixture. It's a dick. It's a spike. It's a huge

phallic object. Yes. I'm going to fuck this hotel. I'm sorry, we've already climbed a building in this movie. We're not doing it again. I get, oh wait, we're doing it again? Yeah, there's a lot of cat and massitude. She finds a Vegas Vinnie, which is very funny. It's this

it's clearly a little person actor and like a coat pretending to be this little cartoon character and she starts picking this guy up and shaking him around. Yeah and it's kind of weird because like they're trying to keep it hidden. I mean it's clearly the little professor character. He looks like a Jawa in a trench coat. Yes dude. He

totally does. Especially because like they're hiding his eyes and everything and it's just like this little person being shook by conveying her. Kind of funny. So yeah she winds up finding that that he's Vegas Vinnie. She pops him at this point. Right, which is

with the pen. Does the pen suck? Or now we're just popping cartoons? Yeah. Okay. It went from suck to blow. I think it's because you can specifically, like, she didn't want to kill him. Like, he's still alive. He just blew up. Right, right, right. Well, yeah, I guess like, you know,

she must worship him. He created this land that she wants to be. The magic. The magic dick is his magic dick. It's up there. He took it off himself and he put it up on top of the hotel. Don't unplug my dick, Holly. Leave it up there. It powers all of Las Vegas.

I've worked on it for so long. She winds up, you know, so Gabriel Byrne and his neighbor are trying to put the professor back together while Brad Pitt chases her. Cool world's real? Neat. Sure, whatever you say character.

Good God. Kim Gays basically can turn into a ghost at this point and go walk through wall. sure whatever yeah I don't know dude she she's like walking through this hallway she sneaks into the hotel she's walking through this hallway and like it like she's tuning out you know she's turning into this weird redhead cartoon character again and then like just jumps through a wall and I'm like no you gotta just decide on a set of rules for this movie you can't just have cartoons jumping through walls

he's got to draw a fucking black hole on the wall and then you can go through. I will say one thing I did enjoy is Brad Pitt getting kicked in the nuts via cartoon leg. Oh, yeah. That was nice. Dude, there's both he and Gabriel Byrne get kicked in the nuts in this movie. Nurt. Spectacular nerd shots on both of them. Oh, a cartoon kick me in the dick. This is everything I've always wanted. Step on it. Say boop, boop, beep, while you kick me in the nuts. And yeah, it's happening for Gabriel Byrne. It happens in Cool World and his testicles are talking to You getting bigger, buddy? Huh?

You're swelling? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Gabriel Byrne becomes like a Superman slash Shazam type of character. He looks exactly like Shazam Captain Marvel. Absolutely. Well, Brad Pitt falls to his death here, by the way. She kind of like knocks him off the building.

And that's the thing that I was like, it wasn't until that moment that I was like, oh, this movie has a villain. Yes, and she is the villain. Oh, she's the villain and there's 10 minutes left. Okay. She's like a femme fatale, huh? Yeah, right? Almost.

You think Brian De Palma saw this film or no? Yep. He definitely busted some nuts to this. They should make... Oh, man, you think so? I think so. They should make a sequel to De Palma, the documentary about him, just asking him about this movie.

An hour-long conversation about Cool World. Noah Bombach asking him about Cool World from behind the camera. Man, that documentary, De Palma, if you have not seen it, it is a delight. because that dude like he just turned 80 like a few days ago this movie came out a few years ago but like he does not

give a shit and that dude is just talking and you're hearing this dude tell stories it's he's just spilling some tea it's fucking great just him saying like yeah that was a piece of shit yep that was a piece of shit these idiots that helped me make this movie well it was a real piece of shit that one oh that was a piece of shit too

now we're gonna talk about it for 25 minutes it's a true delight I gotta watch it Um, so yeah, to Eric's point, like, and this is what's really annoying is like, uh, she undoes the spike and all, all of the real world turns into the cool world, kind of, or it bleeds into the real world. And Gabriel By the way, say goodbye to Gabriel Byrne, because that actor and voice actor are out of the movie. And I don't know why that is. Gabriel Byrne doesn't, he's not doing this like superhero voice. No, it's just some other, it's, uh, it's, I think it's actually Maurice LaMarch.

Oh, you look this up? I mean, it doesn't sound like Gabe Rapurn at all. I know they're doing an affectation to be kind of like a... Oh, oh, yeah. Yeah, chisel jaw hero type of character. Right. That's incredible. Yeah, because he doesn't come back.

There's a totally embarrassing debasement when he gets, like, cartoon arms. Oh, right. Because, like, none of them can get into this hotel through the front door, I guess. So, like, he, like, stretches. out his arms to like, you know, go up to the top of this hotel after, you know, she's thrown Brad Pitt off of the fire escape or whatever. And I think it's, Jennifer, I think, is this, the neighbor character is like, what's he doing or something like that? And this little cartoon doctor is like, well, he's fulfilling his destiny. He's becoming a hero. And I was

like, when in this movie, did you say that this dude's destiny was to be become a hero. Well, doesn't make sense because all he's wanted, he's murdered a man in cold blood as far as I can tell, and then fucked a cartoon. That's the two things that he's done. That's all he did. And in between the two things, he created a comic book line that some people enjoy. Well, this is

like, this is what I assume is part of the, like, I want to show this to, like, hospital kids. It's like, look, he's got a destiny. He's going to, you know, no, forget all the fucking cartoons. The cartoons that are fucking and sucking each other, forget that. No, no, no, he's destiny. Yeah, you could maybe show

them the first five minutes of the last 20 minutes of this movie. I mean also if you're going to do a hero's journey, focus on one hero. That'd be great. That's exactly right. Because Brad Pitt's laying dead in the street at this point. But again and again, it's not even Gabriel Byrne anymore.

It's just some guy going, hello, I'll save you, baby. And it's like, well, what the fuck nonsense am I even watching? And now all the cartoons are spewing out everywhere. There's fucking techsafry wolf guy running around a little bit. Yes. And also a weird unsettling thing of people

in Las Vegas are just turning into cartoons. That's kind of cool. This is the best part of the movie because it's like it's a fun Vegas joke where people are like not some most are like pretty nonplussed by the idea like all right, whatever. Yeah. Yeah. I mean it's totally fine. To be fair, those people

are monsters before and after transformation. Absolutely. Turning into a cartoon is the best thing that could ever happen than they can't if I can get to their bank accounts anymore. If you want to turn Gabriel Byrne to like his actual like he's actual like hero you'd be like the best IRA member ever or it's just it's that exact cartoon but Gabriel Byrne is voicing it and you can like you hear the the voice you know what

I mean I don't know it needs to be set up though that he created this character and some other yes that's a great point you know like he's got to turn into a thing that he created but like at no point ever does this character ever say that he wants to be a hero that you know there's nothing discussed about like I'm trying to turn over a new leaf like I did my time like there's none of that so it's just like where is this coming from you're fulfilling your destiny stop lying to me cartoon professor so the spider guy like just comes out of the fucking fountain pen at this point and like weeps over the dead body which i was laughing at dude one because it was a cartoon crying over a dead bread but also like when where he lands is basically like the little

driveway of this casino. And I was like, how long do we have to wait before there's any sort of medical response? Because a dude just fell off the roof and nobody seems to care. Yeah, it's Vegas, man. Whatever happened. It happens here. People fall off the buildings all the time. You think that's the only person who fell off a fucking roof tonight. I got my cleaning crew down at the fucking Flamingo right now. Hosing down the Flamingo. Oh my God. Yeah. So he looked real sad before he'd, yeah, jumped. Yeah, I had a couple down by the Sphinx. What do you want from me tonight?

Ah. And after she pulls the spark out or whatever and all this stuff goes crazy, then, like, Kim Basinger, as she's back to being the cartoon right now, is like crazy mustache twirling villain. Yes. And I was like, again, I need some sort of like, here is my plan, blah, blah, blah. And instead it's like, but I just want to live in the real world. world. Yeah, you have to at least show or be kind of shitty in some regard earlier in the film.

Oh, God, this sucks. So then what, Gabriel Byrne is the, as the Shazam man decides like, I need to turn over a new leaf and put the spike back in place to stop the cool world from coming out into this world. You have to put the butt plug back in to stop the leakage and the seepage for sure. Um, and I mean, he does. And that there's like a big kaboom and everybody you see all the people in the casino like go back to being the human beings that they were kind of a thing and I guess

like when all the cartoons are vanishing that includes Gabriel Byrne and Kim Basinger and the spider and everybody or no this how does the spider the spider doesn't that's the again it's just horseshit because it's like

you know it's like oh all right I guess we're going to drag Brad Pitt's body back to Cool World also That's where he wanted to be buried. He's got a living will somewhere. He's got a cool plot. But one of the lines the spider mentions is like, oh, I need to take them back so that the girlfriend, who they don't fuck, can see him and like, no for sure. One last time.

It got to see the body. I do that motherfucking corpse. And this. And then I got a good laugh, dude, because when it cuts to Brad Pitt and cool world, it's like his corpse is just laying in the street. it's like he's like he's like laying against like the side of a building or something and this is when the woman's like oh my god was he killed by a doodle and he's like yeah well if you were killed by a doodle in the real world you become a doodle here hey okay movie you know what whatever the fuck you have to tell yourself to get to the end credits i need that set up at some point

as opposed absolutely and i believe the line is also because this is lanette says this she goes uh Was she a doodle when she aced him? Okay. And they become a doodle themselves. And then she's like, Holly that bitch, blah, blah, blah. And then Brad Pitt is reborn as a cartoon.

He looks like garbage. It's a bad thing cartoon. Yeah. Like make it look like she does. Exactly. You know, I don't need this multiple drawing style shit. Okay.

Like make them look like that. Like, it's just, it's so unsettling because it's like it's another animation style out of nowhere and you're like it's two blue spots as his eyes and like that's it it's really he's so cute I guess is the idea but like you like tell me how many fingers I'm holding up let's get a cognitive analysis on this reborn cartoon that's a great question yeah before we fuck for sure because yeah it just goes to fucking and then it's like spider get out of here finally after 50 years I can fucking use a hog that is now a

cartoon hog. Dude, when he nuts, that's going to be a fucking title wave. Well, especially, yeah, because it's all heightened in cartoon world anyway. Well, actually, they never tell you whether or not he's secretly like tugging it back at his heart. Oh, you've got to be. Come on. 50 years, my lord.

He's painting the wall. Lednet does a little strip tease for him and he just does his business. Yeah, you buy the partition from the strip club place, you know, it's all good. So, yes, there's some cartoon fucking that goes down. And then, like, you're right, Steve. You don't see Gabriel Byrne ever again because he's just stuck as this cartoon character.

And he's like, okay, well, I'm going to be the hero of cool world. And you're stuck with me, baby. And maybe we'll have some kids and I'll save the world and whatever the hell else. Well, what's that? The end credits. Okay, bye, bye, bye forever. Is that even a cartoon at the end? It's actually like a weird comic strip where, like, they're in panels.

And there's word bubbles and stuff. And it's like, well, what the fuck? is this world now but it's just it pulls out it pulls out it's the same world as men in black oh that would work i'd be down in black ending uh yeah that's the end of this movie it's fucking a shit show ladies and gentlemen and i yeah i dare you would anybody recommend this movie well quickly want to mention oh okay there's a bowie song at the end which is unfortunate and it was kind of an unfortunate era for bowie coming off of like those 80s albums like never let me down i mean the song it's not a great it's fear it's it took

a while like i don't think he really got good to again until like heathen era that's what i think he got back i think earthling is pretty solid earth things that bad this is the song though which i believe is also just called cool world the cool cool cool world maybe real cool world maybe oh yeah yeah because he does it's just him being it's a real cool world where is my chair out of fire with cartoons at least that song kicks ass yes it does yeah I was gonna sing do you need my routing number

cash is okay too but would any of you guys any of you fucking no no I mean humanoids out there recommend this is rotten this is rotten this is the second time I've seen it probably all the way through and oof. Nothing is redeemable here. The animation

is terrible. The mixture of the animation and the live action is laughable, especially because a movie came out three years earlier that did it much better. And that movie is just, Roger Rabbit is so much better. And I know it's like, oh man, it's not for adults. You can be an adult and really enjoy that movie

because it's really good. The jokes work for adults, et cetera, et cetera. It doesn't have to be explicit fucking for you as an adult to enjoy something. Theoretically, that's me. There's also a clear, you know, delineation of, like, who is the protagonist of the movie. This is surprising because both Chris and Steve were defending sex cartoons with such fervor at the start of this episode to see them denounce something like Cool World is surprising to me. But yes, I agree. Roger Rabbit is obviously better and I would not recommend this. This is terrible.

Roger Rabbit's okay in my book. I need to revisit it. But I think Cool World is a terrible film. One of the worst, perhaps, we've covered. uh i'd be absolutely this is a terrible movie i love roger rabbit but this movie sucks um yeah i think this is just kind of a classic situation where like a genuinely like underground kind of artist and like filmmaker was brought up to the big leagues and like they didn't know what to do with them like the fact that they abandoned his script kind of shows you exactly like we just kind of want your style we don't really want anything else like and like then then like hire him to do that you know what i mean I mean, I don't think they were going to do that, though.

I think they were just going to be like, look, your scripts out the window, just make this movie. And he did. And there's like, those little cartoons you were talking about, like going across the screen, he said in an interview, he's like, look, at some point I was like, this is a mess. It's not going to work. So if you just want to draw a little, like, cartoon doodles on the screen itself to put over, like, little jokes and stuff like that. Do that. I don't care. I like, so I kind of see, like, I don't blame him a lot for what is wrong with this.

I blame the scripts that they made. and I like Bakshi for the most I like his he's problematic he's definitely severely problematic but I like

you know heavy traffic I think is good again the one I can't say is good and I like that Lord of the Rings I don't know yeah I mean

this is it should be obvious it's the hardest it passes for me Ralph Bakshi while I understand a lot of folks out there dig on it

not my thing I'm not anti-animation. I am just this does not do it for me. And if the Tribune trivia is to be believed, this movie, and I don't know who speaking for the production here, and at what point this was supposed to have happened, and I don't know if it was a thing that was made public, but someone associated with this movie had the audacity to say

that it was going to have better animation and better special effects than Roger Rabbit, which yeah yeah okay whatever you say movie uh just not for me i've actually i have seen the lord of the rings um didn't do it for me either uh but i think steve we were talking about this on our on our text thread earlier today i think you totally right that like that movie is rendered totally obsolete by the peter jackson who could even care i mean i'm sorry there's i'm sure somebody does but oh no and it's and it's not because like it's a live action thing that replaced animation. But like, it's just so much better than the animated movie. It's like

not even really a contest. But this was, this was truly something. And it was a bummer that like Paramount Pictures couldn't even have the courtesy to give Amazon like a decent transfer to me to watch. This was, it was dirty. It looked like garbage. So like the whole experience was just top to bottom trash. And I'm exhausted. That is cool world. everybody, directed, of course, by Ralph Baxhie from the year of 1992. If you want more We Hate Movies, of course, check out our Patreon. Patreon. patreon.com slash we hate movies. We're just last week, we had the second part of a real Denzel Washington Love Fest.

We talked about on the WLM feed on our Patreon, Spike Lee's Inside Man. Excellent movie. That's out there. That is the September We Love Movies. We got, is a Lobaka on the Gleepe Glossary there? Yes, that's right. Dubaka's nephew. It's a lot of fun. And again, I think I've mentioned this before in the air. We were severely drunk when recording it. So, you know, listener discretion is advised. Yes. Slosh sitting. We also did an episode on for animation, damnation on Garfield and Friends, which is super fun. Oh, yeah. And of course, the Nexus will be out as well. Probably, I would wager this week. We have this coming out. And also we will have. What Star Trek? Which episodes were those?

What were we doing? It was the weird planet of Irish immigrants. Right. Well, in TNG Town, it was the, they're saving an Irish colony and also a cloning colony, I guess. And that's, oh, and a banger episode in the original series where Scotty is framed for murder. Yes, yes. He falls in love with a belly dancer who's immediately killed, and then he keeps killing women. Or does he? it's a very fun episode of the nexus was it Montgomery Scotty Scott or was it Jack the Ripper and also by the end of this month we will have the totally fun chudmintry will be re-released on the Patreon as well now as always here on we hate movies we keep making the sausage man every week we got another episode ready to roll on Tuesday so Steve Sadek take us in the next week what are we talking I got a I have the huge announcement right now

I'm sorry to say, I know people were really looking forward to it. I look forward to it every year, but the spooktacular has been canceled. Oh, no. We just couldn't do it. We couldn't do it. COVID-19.

Yeah, it fucked everything on. We're doing the spook-tukular, though. Say, what? It is going to be a spooktacular where every single dumb episode we release has a big fat two in the title. Right, because this year, the spooktacular is too scary.

Yes. Oh, man. And that could, I think there's some Roman numerals in there. I don't think we have a T-O-O. No, because as I said at the planning meeting, we already did Teen Wolf 2. And I think that might be it for the twos. Yeah, but every episode. We could do dumb and dumber or two.

No, no, no. That's not scary. It's spook-to-tukular. It starts next week with Final Destination 2. Oh, yeah, man. Now, it's funny because I was passing the time the other night, and I put on a little bit of our Final Destination 3 episode. And I was kind of scrubbing through that, you know,

going back to the glory days of pre-COVID. And I was like, oh, yeah, that's the one like Tony Todd's barely in it. Is he in the second one at all? I've never seen it. I've never seen it, but I honestly do forget. So tune in next week to find out. But we also did, if you want to be a little completist here, this is a great idea to enhance your spookitucular experience is listen to our previous episode on the final destination.

No, no, no, that's a sequel. Fuck. Final destination from first one. Yeah, the first one we did an episode on and we did an episode on the third one. So you can listen to the first one next week, listen to the second one, and then go back and listen to the third one to round out that original trilogy. We already gave you the bread. We're just about to get you the meat. Yeah.

We should also just mention what the Patreon for the too scary month is, right? That's true. We could say it. It's going to be the Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. Oh, now I've got to ask. I know Cabin is a note of this question, but are either of you watching this for the first time? I am as well, yeah. Strap the fuck in.

I'm pumped, dude. But until next week when the Spook-Took kicks off with Final Destination 2. I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Sadek. Eric Sisko. Chris Gavin. Take it easy. That was a HeadGum podcast.