We Hate Movies - S11: Episode 508 - Final Destination 2

Episode Date: October 6, 2020

The gang kicks off the 2020 Spook2cular with a rousing discussion on the outrageously fun sequel, Final Destination 2! Was it such a good idea to make the dead meats all complete strangers? What's with all the reminders about the first film? We all saw it! And how do you not give the great Tony Todd more to do in this movie?! PLUS: The gang pitches a new globe-trotting travel/food show, Geographic Beefs! Final Destination 2 stars Ali Larter, A.J. Cook, Michael Landes, David Paetkau, James Kirk, Lynda Boyd, Keegan Connor Tracy, Jonathan Cherry, Terrence, 'T.C.' Carson, Justina Machado, and the legendary Tony Todd; directed by David R. Ellis. Be sure to check out our Witchboard show this weekend exclusively at the Salem Horror Fest! WHM is donating 100% of our 2020 merch income to causes fighting for racial justice. For more information on how you can pitch in, head over to our website. Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Yeah, there we go. Now on today's program, get ready to get spooktucular. It's Final Destination 2. I'm Andrew Jupin, Stephen Sadek. Eric Siska. Death. And we hate movies. That is murder. The zombies have entered the building. They're at the door. They're coming in. It is time to keep your appointment. Does it come out?

They're coming to get you, Barbara. Be sick for Foxy. You've seen one too many. Now, sit, don't you blame the movies? Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos. Movies make psychos. What's the fucking ocean in the bag?

It's an excellent day for an exorcism, an excellent day for an exorcism. Hello everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Welcome to the greatest time of the year. That's right. As opposed to previous years when you have known us to get a little creepy doing the spooktacular this October. We are doing things a little differently. Welcome one and all to the spooktukular. That's right. Every episode in the month of October 2020, we're doing scary movies with a two in the title. Every time I hear it, I feel like two cans Sam should be saying it. Follow your nose, Chris Cabin. Yeah, so we got this one, I will say there are numbers and there are Roman numerals scattered throughout the month.

I love it. And there's one subtitle coming up at you. There's a part two on the, on the We Love Movies feed. Oh, right. A nice diversity of titles. Yeah, absolutely. Every single one has two in it. You know, it's not like just a sequel. It's got to be a two sequel.

I'm really shocked that we didn't use. I mean, I love the old theme song. I thought we were going to use the new one. Oh, what's that? What is this? I'm not just a priest. Do it, man. That is Vin Diesel's song, my friend.

Oh, I had no fucking clue what that was, dude. Because you know why, Steve, when the other day when you sent that thing, or maybe it was Kevin that was like, here's Vin Diesel's song that he made. I was like, absolutely not. Come on. It doesn't sound like him whatsoever. No, it also sounds like a song that should have come out in 2007. Like, absolutely bare minimum.

That was him singing right there when he just played? Well, yeah, because they put. so much effects and fucking auto tune over because he sounds like a brick so why would he like it just doesn't sound like him at all you know what here's the thing vin diesel why don't you come out with a goddamn liquor line dude no one wants to hear you sing great call you know i mean i know we're all bored we're all in quarantine we're trying some stuff out but yeah like this don't do some fucking bald skull vodka but i mean to give bin diesel some credit you got to try everything now. Get it out of the way. Get it done with because

final destination's going to happen to you, man. Everyone that COVID missed. That's true. When you're only worth $600 million, you really have to pump it up and do one more thing. Like make music for like bars on the beach. Dude, you're totally right, Kevin. If your fucking bar does not open with sand at the front door, you can't play this song inside. You don't know. Wabba. Ma, man, Oh, God, be like I do.

Oh, now you're playing Andre the Giants? I would rather listen to a song sung by the late Andre the Giant. Absolutely. Sorry to derail the whole show, but it's, yes, it's the spook-tukular. Very excited. Final Destination 2, Andrew, do all your stuff. Dance Monkey. This is from 2003, directed by the late David R. Ellis, director of such classic films

as Homeward Bound 2 Lost in San Francisco, cellular, snakes on a plane, the final destination, and shark night 3D. This is his best movie then. Yeah. Easily. That's not even up for discussion. I'd say with Homeward Bound too, a close second. Maybe.

Homeward Bound is also in the final destination realm, you know? Oh, dude, those animals are dodging cars left and right. That's what, yeah, that's how they got lost twice was because they just keep fucking up. dude i i gotta tell you much like the parents in home alone you lose all your pets a second time remove them from the house oh yeah animal could call fucking animal control absolutely this is abusive it's like fucking hoarders at that point totally you're gonna find those poor dogs frozen in a fucking refrigerator listen mrs benedict could you like just not leave your door open every time you go out of the house could you just do that for us please there needs to be like a grim

Reaper for animals. There must be. Right? I mean, you know, he would look really cute. He's got like a little cloak, but he's got like a dog snout kind of a thing. Maybe he's a platypus or something. Oh, that's even cuter. It would have to be like a like a platypus skeleton or something. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Full on skeleton for sure. Yeah, I was just saying platypus because I thought, you know, to appeal to every animal, it should have a piece of every animal. Sure. So you just want the bill of the platypus then is what you're talking about there? That animal in general, right? That's a misculaneous.

I guess so, but if you need a piece from every animal, dude, to make up your little pet Grim Reaper, then it's just got to be a little Grim Reaper hot dog. Right, that's a great idea. It's like the circle of life. It's all represented with the fucking hot dog in a fucking ghostly robe. That just sucks for an animal to be greeted

to the pearly animal gates by a fucking hot dog. I don't know, dude. If a fucking hot dog came up to me and was like, hey, man, it's your time to go. I'd be like, can I have a quick bite before you take me? Well, that would be the end of the problem. Also, I mean, this is a great, we're getting to the bottom of something. So in human heaven, all the hot dogs there, because obviously there's hot dogs in heaven.

There's hot dogs in heaven. That's a great. Oh, God, damn. We should write Vin Diesel's follow up, hot dogs in heaven. Yeah, when I cross the pearly finish line, I'm going to see a hot dog in heaven. Every hot dog you have in heaven is made out of your pets and other people's pets. Got it. Well, like, yeah, if you're going to make it a Vin Diesel song, you have to sound like it's a computer mumbling for most of it.

Like, sequel to the smash hit from what was that like 2000 the first one came out oh yeah yeah this is two that this the first was 2000 yeah yeah yeah the 2000 smash hit um this was also by the way this means this movie takes place in an alternate 2001 right away i picked that up as well because it takes place one year from the events of the plane crash in the first film that's right that's right um so we've done final destination and we did final Destination 3 and I gotta tell you man

once again I was having an all out ball with this movie full on ditto I've never seen this before and I was just I was slapping my knee quite a bit this is the good I mean this is the good franchise I've really

I've compared to Saw I would say because I think they're very similar setups yeah but so like modern aughts horror franchise I think this is the good one and every time I rew like at least the first three. Every time I rewatch them, I kind of like them more. Yeah. Here's the question, Chris Kevin. How often you

rewatching these Final Destination? Probably once every, like, I mean, I didn't watch. Yes, every day, Eric. Every day, I wake up with one, and then I go to bed to three. You play Vin Diesel's song, and you get your fucking popcorn ready. I don't know, watch a part of the donation for people. Gotta wash that glass. Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, look at that. It looked like that. The bad car.

Rex and I are the only ones that have seen the entire franchise right so um man you guys dared each other to do it you but we dare each other every day to watch it I mean Eric last year you watch like the entire franchise of like a day or something didn't yeah I did a weird marathon thing and I looked up my rankings from back then and I did have this movie as the third best one and I understand a lot of people do have it as the best one and I kind of get it with the whole the log event i enjoy the log 11 that happens but yeah but the but the uh the third one directly addressing 9-11 and photography and weird conspiracy theory shit it's just so dumb and yeah i totally get that i mean the bigger thing to me is the third one has a mary

mary elizabeth winstead this has nobody that's a good call there's at least like an actor or two in the third movie and like you know Tony Todd God bless him big see here's the other thing it's tough to weigh this way right because big complaint of ours from part three you've got like Tony Todd on like the roller coaster

voiceover thing but you don't see that beautiful face at least in this movie he's got one scene definitely not enough screen time that's why I say final destination two there he's got a scene and he's doing stuff you're whoops off a nipple ring come on guys come on I

I think if you had said to me, like before last night, like, hey, man, you think you're going to go through your whole life and maybe at some point you'll see Tony Todd rip a nipple ring out of the nipple of a corpse. I'd be like, I don't know. Wait, did you guys have a different cut? Do you actually see it happen? Yes, you do. I didn't see it happen. I see them cutting back like him pulling it and pulling it. Oh, good question.

Because I don't see it rip through a nipple. Okay, because I'm team show it. Chris, it's the theater of the mind. Exactly. A little bit. They tease. Well, you do see, like, you see the nipple about to give out. Yes.

Yeah, the damn is about to break on that nipple. You're correct that this movie is all about restraint. And we'll see that in the car crash that opens it. It's all about, like, holding back, showing what you need to show. Should quickly mention the nippleman, and we'll get to him later. But the actor, you know, Canadian, obviously, everyone. one in this is vomiting maple syrup, but he was the man who played Colby in I'll always know what you did last summer. Previous episode from one of our listener request months. A lot of

Canadian pals pop it up in this episode. We'll get to all of them. Now that's a confusing thing. Yeah, because like clearly this is a Vancouver production. The first movie was set on a high school on Long Island. Right. And we're told that like it's the same-ish area, right? Because we see the school bus like from the first high school, you know, all this stuff. But at one point, I have to say a little geographic beef I have here is that we see our protagonist Kimberly at one point.

You see her drivers like a form or something and you get her address. It says she lives in White Plains, which is nowhere near Long Island. Well, so big flub here. Now, nowhere near. I mean, it's like probably an hour drive. Yeah, that's not bad. Eventually, she does a whole like map quest we get to see. Very riveting film.

I understand why people rank it the best. You see the map quest or whatever it is, the directions from white plains to Stony Brook. And now that is a quintessential New York drive. That is, don't stop for anything interesting. And that is, that is New York. That is New York. I will say I'm pitching a show. to the Food Network called Geographic Beef,

where it's the four of us going around eating red meat in different states. And we're, you know, all around the world, actually. Let's go all around the world. Absolutely. And what do we do? We get in arguments with people? Yeah, that's what I thought.

Are we just going to voice our grudges to random strangers in each town? I guess, yeah, that's a really good question. How do you get the beef we get? I think I got it, Steve. I think I solved the beef issue is you find places, like, Philly where there's like, hey, here's fucking cheese steak place A and here's cheese steak

place B. And then we fucking sample from both. And then we decide the winner of the geographic beef. Exactly. And then we get into a street fight. Yeah, then we're just the last 10 minutes of every episode is us breaking glass over people's heads. That would be great. It's like man versus food, but for guys. Yeah, exactly. Episode two, the arrest episode. Yeah, we're going to fucking debut over on Busted. Sorry, guys. Yep. Chris Cabin is out this, maybe forever. That guy died. That guy that he stabbed. Yeah, he died. Episode three will be 15 years long because we have to follow them all in prison for all the damage they did to this town.

Yeah, Chris will not appear on this episode. That bond amount was way too high. We couldn't afford to spring him. What's the best thing to secretly eat at a courthouse? that's the latest episode and the answer is filled ritz crackers that's the way to go oh totally dude when you're in jail you could raid pruno i could i could make bruno prison wine

yes oh yeah um so like everybody knows what this franchise is right kids avoid death and then they're fucking picked off one by one and hilarious mouse trap the board game-esque deaths you know what andrew though that's the problem is that everybody knows what this movie's about but the first 45 minutes literally is telling you you have to be told what the first movie is about you have to be shown what the first movie is about everyone has to sit down and learn over and over again even though they have this incredibly clumsy

credit sequence where they tell you the movie anyway do this news report or whatever the shit it is where it's like this guy arguing with some pepe sylvio conspiracy theory lunatic i swore i swore when i heard that voice that was devonsawa thank you very much cap because I thought the exact same thing and I was like, Chelsea was like sort of watching it with me, but more like on her computer in the room and I was like, it sounds like someone is doing a Devonsawa impression.

She was like, yeah, definitely does. And I was like, oh, I heard something because I remember like when we did part three I maybe asked you guys if he was in this movie at all or something and I was like, no, there was something about he's in this movie some way. So I thought maybe this was like the big cameo, but it's just like

another gentle Canadian that sounds exactly like. He looks exactly like Jimmy Simpson and it's always sunny in Philadelphia. Yes. Speaking of Pepe, Silvio, absolutely. This talk show is just so bizarre because what they're talking about is like straight up like, is this Info Wars? Am I watching the quote unquote history channel right now? What is this? I thought it was like a local news affiliate talk show kind of thing. It's like someone taking it seriously and be like, well, okay, go on about this mystical force of

death is like a real person hanging out. You know what it reminded me of is the talk show that Bill Murray is the host of at the beginning of the second Ghostbust movie, the psychic world or whatever it is? But the problem is it's over the credits, which is sort of fine. But it's just like weirdly cut in with like shots of A.J. Cook, who's the lead in this movie of Criminal Minds fame. She stars in about 795 episodes of Criminal Mind. Absolutely. Dude, I got to watch some of that because you do you know. It's a good making dinner and let's just let's watch people get serial.

killed for a while. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. When did you guys turn 79? What's a criminal minds, really? I can't wait till I can get my fucking AARP card, dude. No, but actually here we can, look at this. Yeah, Jennifer Giroux fucking 15 years on that show. Dude, that's, that's a lot of fucking money, my friend.

It is what that is. And that's on, I think it's on Wii TV. They dedicate Tuesdays and Saturdays to just play criminal minds. Is that right? So the residuals are nuts. You know, the only other things. thing that I know her from, because I haven't seen any criminal minds. I did

not watch the Eliza Dushku True Calling show, but she is one of the titular I guess the titular, well, in a way, she's one of the daughters and the Virgin suicides. Yeah, I've rewatched that earlier this year. Holds up. Totally. Oh, nice. Yeah, I haven't revisited in a while,

but yeah, I know her from that. And I think that kind of might be... She's also in Wishmaster 3. She's the lead there. Oh, that's right. We tried watching that. We were, like, doing, like, a group watch on Pluto TV a couple months ago. And sadly, yeah, that is not a fucking stay tuned. That was a, I was reading the text as they came in, but I was not group watch.

Yeah, no, I think it was just me and Steve. We called, we called it after like 40 minutes. I'm like, this is, once the gin finally showed up and it wasn't our good friend, whatever his name is, DeVos. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. Oh, yeah, he brings some tonic with them. You know what else she's in, though, not to go through this woman. entire filmography, but a potential stay tuned is the disastrous out cold the snowboarding comedy from 2001 with Zach Gallifanakis and others, including, I believe, the London

brother that faked his own kidnapping. I do think it's him. And generally speaking, skiing and snowboarding movies, lost cause. Nobody can do it right. It always sucks. It always sucks. Shots fired at ski school. That movie sucks. I'll tell you what, if you want to date this thing in all sorts of big, bad ways here. One, I remember when it came out, we were working at the multiplex at the time, Chris Cabin. I remember this played at our theater. But the IMDB image, like the poster image, is from the DVD release. We got two quotes on here.

And these are the kind of people that should not be allowed to review movies. Someone from the Arizona Daily Star says, hilarious roller coaster laugh fest, while Raleigh News and Observer says Animal House on Ice. I forget what it was. I think it was just some random comedy that came out. And the whole, the only quote on the DVD was in like the Houston Daily Star. And it just said,

I liked it. Exclamation. That's not even, that's more like, well, I liked it. You know what really? After everyone like totally bashed something for an hour.

And then you're just like, well, yeah, I liked it. So there. Animal House on ice. That means it was just DOA, right? It's on a slab. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, they iced it. So she had a career in the early aughts and threw on.

Like just, you know, your attractive white lady that just kind of just shows up in things, I guess is the idea. Totally. You know, she's one of these actors that just can phase in and out of things completely unknown, like the invisible woman or something. Yeah, she's like vapor. Vapor. Yeah, she's a vapor actor. I mean, a lot of this cast are pure vapor. this dude playing the state trooper officer burke my god the fucking log that kills him has more charisma

yeah you're not wrong uh i was just sort of like looking really quickly to see if this dude was in anything but what a lost cause i mean he's in stuff but it's just like shit you would never watch yes i was the uh log and final destination too you know i tried out to be you know i was willing to be cut to be in Twin Peaks to return just for a minute just to be held by the law I mean she's so famous the log lady that's all I want but you know what passed up my

my cousin was in out cold he played a pair of skis they gave his life for that role but you know it's really really worth it who was dedicated to him as well you know the Christmas tree from National Lampoon's Christmas vacation that's my father that's him right there my family comes from a long

log line getting chopped down to be in movies. Yeah, my uncle had an indie success. He was the chair from reservoir dogs and, you know, the stuck in the middle with you seen. Oh, man, he's got some stories. He has got some stories. And, of course, yeah, we are acting royalty.

My great-grandfather played a book in a classic Hollywood picture. my great grandpappy was part of the wood making up the train trestle in Buster Keaton's the general long proud tradition of being cut down to be in the movies I would say the two noticeable people in this movie are of course Ali Larder returns as her character Clear Rivers and of course the aforementioned Mr. Tony Todd returns as Mr. Bloodworth I will say I love Tony Todd's IMDB picture because it looks like it was taken right after he just got done having a great time at a wedding if you look really quick he's got

like this awesome tie that's like a little undone the collars open i'm gonna bring it up he was like you know he was all all yeah that's the ice you know what i mean like he was all dressed up for the day and then it's like i've been dancing all night yes you loosen that tie because he's about to hit it man uh we should they turn uh terence tc carson was uh on living single for a million and a half years as well. Oh yes. Of course. Kyle, I believe his character's name. Yes, you've done it. He looks better as the movie goes on, but the first scene he's in when he's being interrogated for some reason, like, he looks like he was friends

with Ned Flander's parents. Yeah. He's got the sweater and the glasses and he's like, yeah, it's a bit much. He is another moment. That scene specifically that you're talking about when they're all the police station is another moment. of we're just going to let this character talk and he is going to explain that first movie to anybody who wasn't paying attention 20 minutes ago. That's the crazy part they keep doing it.

It's like, I've literally got it. It's not that difficult of a concept to get, ladies and gentlemen. 28 minutes before the movie ends, they explained all the deaths that happened in the first movie. I'm like, what's the point? Not a lot of point here. So with the first film, it was a plane crash,

and this one we've alluded to it a little bit but it's a massive car pile up that is caused by a log truck, a logging truck that has a little chain break and one of the logs falls out and causes chaos and I have to say

what an exquisite sequence gorgeous. It's the best because it starts, yeah, she's like she's going to go and her dad is like overprotective and this movie by the way was written by the two dudes who wrote Butterfly Effect and it shows in this exchange specifically at the beginning here.

Because her dad's like, oh, you got your mace, you got your this, you got your last. She's like, Dad, it's Daytona, not Somalia. And I'm like, what the fuck? And you've got like her other friend there that's making comments in front of the father. Like, can we get, can we go get the guys? I'm getting horny. Yes. Did you hear that, dad?

I said I'm really horny. I cannot wait to get fucked. Well, that's right, because he's like, oh, you got your base, you're this, you're that. And she's like, yeah, you got your condoms, your whip cream, your whips. I'm like, lady, can we just wait until we're out of my dad's earshot before you start with your weird sex shit? I think she says whips and chains or something. Yeah, she does. And then when Kimberly is like, hey, man, did you really need to say that in front of my father?

She's like, oh, it's all right. Your dad's cool. I was like, yeah, maybe, but like no dad wants to hear like, oh, my little girl's going off and getting fucked on spring break. With chains and whips. Don't tell my dad we're meeting Pinhead in Daytona, okay? All right, okay. Oh, hello, Kimberly.

Oh, no. Oh, shit. The Grim Reaper took Kimberly from me. Damn you, Grim Reaper. I had such delicious margaritas to show her. A Daytona. That's the other thing. We're in New York.

You're driving to fucking Florida for spring break. Good luck. Good luck. Don't you have to get there and turn right around to go back? Seriously. I did that once and actually this happens in the beginning of the movie for no reason there's like when they pick up the guys

it's just these two stoner guys and they get they get flashed really quickly and this oh right I was driving with buddies to Tampa Bay when a friend of mine went to school there so that that's how that was our big spring break and it took a really long time to get there and we got flashed

and my friend who is closest to the window his retort was you have really beautiful breasts oh wow got it yeah that's that's it I mean that's the best thing you can say I think it's not bad I mean it's complimentary it's polite

first of all everybody knows you gotta go the side show bob route capital knockers madam oh that's a good one if you have that opportunity always have capital knockers in your back pocket so you had this experience where you're just driving down to Florida and was it a woman on the

back of a motorcycle like we see in the film here? I believe it was a competing car full of gals and they were going wherever they were going. It was a real fucking vacation esk moment. Steve, I had no idea about this story. I had no idea you lived like this MTV

spring break type of lifestyle. Totally, dude. He's a regular Tom Green in the summer of 2003. He's one of the jirating models at the MTV Beach House. You don't remember. Well, actually Eric, you bet didn't meet me until about junior year. I was wearing Hawaiian shirts that freshman year, buddy.

And you could, you can see it. There's a reason I didn't meet you. I wasn't cool enough, right? You just said no thank you, actually. I've got a question about the guest list for this road trip, if I may. So you've got Kimberly and then you've got her friend who's like this blonde, like very stereotypical

sort of cheerleadery person. She was Vinny's girlfriend for a stretch in entourage. That sounds about right. That's all I remember. I'll take your word for it. And that terrible movie, Skin Walkers, she's also in. Oh, Skin Walkers. What is Skin Walkers?

It's like a, it's a werewolf movie, right? It is. It's a movie Chris Cabin and I watched like 3 o'clock in the morning about 10 years ago. Smart move. Yeah, it was really good. But she's like, so the blonde has the line, can we go get the guys I'm getting horny? Sure. And then when you see the fucking product in the back seat that they've picked up,

it's a fucking fat stoner dude and a dude who is so stuck in 2003 like this guy if you had to like be like computer what did 2003 look like this dude is coming up no bones about it you know what that means he's ahead of the times because this takes place in 2001 this guy is a trend setter I mean I would be honored to go with him to Daytona early aughts looking is what I mean no I know I mean the broth tips the whole thing yeah and it's so just like, was she planning on fucking one of these two bums or what? Well, I mean, I think the thing is, if you look at the youth culture in this movie, and it is, you know, it's not, they're not, nobody's like a teenager and you get some teenagers, but like, it is so like early, oh, it's like metal kid culture kind of a thing. Well, yeah, the other, like, yeah, the fat kid looks like me in high school, which, bad news.

The other one looks like a power man. kicked out a power man 5,000 without the kutermont on yes like he just has like nothing to he's like a black jacket in the middle of spring break would you say he's man 5,000 he is man 5,000 is what i'm saying okay and the weird thing about stoner guy it's like he's just smoking this this joint to the head like nobody else is in on it and like it's got to be a question of like hey do you mind if i like this or hey anybody wants them and then everyone has to say no like it's just kind of like I, that's how I spent my teen years as smoking pot in cars, but

it was a communal activity. Sure, but it always ran the risk and they fucking run into it in this movie is the thing that I just could not handle, which is why I never smoked weed in cars, is put that shit down, put that shit down, here comes a cop, put that shit down, here comes a cop. Put it down, put it down, put it down.

You know, like, you know, it's all great that we could get together as friends and drive around smoke a doob and listen to the deaf tones, but like, how can I possibly enjoy that when the fucking police are in every turn? Yeah. That's true. That's why I really enjoy being an adult and having a house. It's my own. Exactly. So, you know, whatever, man. They pick up the guys and they're driving down the road. There's dude smoking a dube and everything. And then, you know, this is the vision starts, you know. And I totally, I forgot that this is what these movies do. So for a second, I was like, holy shit, this is off to a great start. And it doesn't invalidate any of it because you still get to see all these amazing kills. And then you get to see these amazing kills. And then you get to see these. horrible people die again later after

you've got to know them and hate them for a little bit but I was duped I was duped I'll admit it this is definitely a step up from the first one because you don't get to see each person die on that fucking airplane I mean to me this is the best thing the franchise has done period is this car accident it is

who boy I was watching it I asked Jen to watch it just this one scene because it's like oh man this is too good she forgot she saw this movie and she realized she has like a weird phobia of like a water bottle rolling under her brakes because of this movie. Oh, shit. Yeah, totally.

Yeah, we should go through like the little bit of what exactly happens in this. Like the dudes are smoking weed in the back and they're like, oh my God, there's a cop behind us. Merge into the next lane randomly. Don't even look. Just to fucking start swerving in the middle of the road. And I'm like, if there's a cop behind us drive like shit. I have a great, I'm even better idea. Let me flick this joint out at a different car, land on their fucking, their windshield.

like a total asshole. Also, lady, uh, clean that windshield. All this fucking leaf debris everywhere. Like pine needles and leaves? Like what the fuck are you doing? It starts a fire. I mean, she puts on like the windshield wipers and the fluid there.

So. And then what else happens? How do the, the, the log comes loose? Log comes loose and the cop isn't looking at it. And the cop is like looking down at some fucking monitor or something. No, this cop is a total asshole. it's our hero cop who was the guy from he was the guy from Lois and Clark

played Jimmy Olson for one season got released because he was too Italian looking look that up but he had he has this big cup of coffee with no lid on it Berlin hot right next to him and it's rattling around here's the other thing Steve

I don't think we're using an actual cup holder it's like kind of precariously placed on his like little police car computer area no no no no no maniac and fucking put a top on that thing. Are we saying we can't have cup holders but you can have

AR-15s and tanks? He wasn't going to pay for that for that extra thing at the dealership. Listen, that wasn't going to happen. Not only should we fucking defund the police but we should get some fucking Dunkin' Donuts gift card so they can be buying coffee with fucking tops on them.

I mean, Christ, like to drive like this. By the way, there's a beer truck as well with the dude driving. just drinking beer? I love it. You don't get high on your own supply

beer delivery guy. What's he doing? Busted open the back? Dude, yeah, I think he's got a little assistant just giving him fucking road sodas from the back. And then he's, I don't remember him being even in the accident. No, he's not.

He's just having a good time. He makes it. Oh, by the way, a bus, we said a school bus passes him by, and you know, in these final destination movies, it's all about you start to understand death is giving you signals that you're about to die.

Right. And this car, I mean, I would love to know the team mascot what their thing is, because they're just chanting pile on in the middle or pile up, right? I think it's pile on. Oh, it's pile on. Oh, it's pile on. pile on. pile. I think it's pile up. I'm almost sure it's pile up. Yeah. Car accident. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Woo. You know, this is, that's the football team from the school from the first. movie. The new Rochelle whiplashes. Yee-haw! The new Rochelle Fenderbenders, look out. Here we go. Here comes the Poughkeepsie Fire Debtz. Oh, the fucking, the Mount Vernon Jacknights, dude. They're going to come catch it. Make way for the East Chester T-Bones. It's like, they're just yelling pile up over and over again. And she's like, well, that

That's odd. And she puts on the radio and it's highway to hell and she's like, oh, there's something going on here. And this is when yeah.

Oh. Oh. The song. I mean, it means we might be on a highway. We might go to hell today. There's a big old fucking logging truck,

which no one wants to be behind. And you also see Christmas vacation. No one wants to be on that fucking logging truck. Dude, it is the combination of Christmas vacation and me seeing

trailers for this movie that like, whenever I'm on the road, If I see one of these motherfuckers, I am passing right by as fast as possible. I'll go fucking 90 miles an hour to get out of the way of one of these things. Don't worry about it. And it comes loose. It gets the cop first because he's like, ew, coffee.

This is great. This log goes through his head. And what I love about, it's CGI, but it looks great. This blood, like, it's a bloody stump that comes out the other end. Yeah, you kind of just see it go through the windshield and the back window, and it's blood everywhere. It's fucking like, that log goes into the car

and it's like a person's face and when it comes out the other end it's just a bunch of hamburger helper. All right, we can only do this once. We packed the entire fucking trunk with 50 squibs. Now just let the log go. You know, it's not that

bad of a way to go. You're right? Like it seems pretty fast. No, that dude was killed instantly. There's no question about it. you get more in tune with the earth, you know? Yeah, but then your balls are burning from that coffee, too. Ouch, oh no! It's a one-two combo punch.

Once your head's gone, you don't have to worry about the balls. I guess so, but Steve's right, though, because there's something so humiliating. Like, you just scalded your nuts with some coffee because you couldn't be bothered to have a top and use a cup holder. So that's embarrassing. And then it would be one thing if he didn't see the log coming, but he does.

So it's like a mother on top of ball burning. Yeah. That's unfortunate. I mean, even though his balls were in distress, he still got wood. Oh, man. I will say, I think one of the reasons why this crash scene is so great is that David R. Ellis, rest in peace, was a stunt man in his career at one point. Did a lot of stunt work and continued after he started directing movies to do, like, stunt things here and there. And you can always tell that, like, the person, when the person behind the camera really understands stunt work and stuff like that.

Because he goes and then comes the motorcycle, who's the guy from living single, T.C. Carson. He, like, just sort of skids out of control. Like, and he, like, he gets off his motorcycle skids for a long time and then gets impaled by his own motorcycle. Yeah, that's, you know, again, embarrassing way to go. But it's another, like, you fell off a motorcycle. and slammed into a log. So that's painful. And then you saw your own motorcycle come and take your life.

You know what I just realized is Gary Busey must be, you know, he's dodging death every day. Oh, my God, the grim rapers around me at every turn. It's dead. Oh, man, it's doubling back on me. It keeps trying to get me. It keeps trying to get me. Ever since that motorcycle. You think you're getting me into a dentist?

You got nothing coming. He definitely not. that's why he's at a padded room right now just to be safe it's best if I just lay low so yeah that's how he goes there's a dude there's like rock star

fuck up guy who's like blowing coke and his gremlin as he's driving and this is the thing is like I said I mean I never I never drove in cars and people and we would swamp pot that seems like a communal activity are people just blowing rails on the highway is that something of course yeah

Did you see Goodfellas? Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, no, because it's definitely like, oh, hey man, I can just take a little bump really quickly. Like, that's what he's doing. But like these characters, and at least the first movie has fleshed out a little bit, you get to know, like what Sean Williams-Scott's, like,

you know, he's kind of a loser, but he likes sports. The characters, like, feel lived in more so. This is just like, this guy does coke. He dresses like he's going to, I don't know, insert emo band name. show and then there's like nothing about him ever because everybody knew them each other from the first one like there was already a community built this one they're all strangers like there's nothing to it like you're just like get killed get killed and get killed because it's a

high school movie in the first one it's like oh you know we you're a bully you're a cool kid you're a nerd all that like it gets easily grafted like yeah but also like it's not even like they're the same age range or anything like that There's a mother and child, you know what I mean? It's just totally, total strangers. Yeah, it's weird. And I think they must have learned their lesson, though, because at least in the third one, again,

it's all like high school kids and they all know each other. Yeah, but they forget the lesson again. I think those other sequels. Oh, is that right? Well, yeah, because one is like a suspension bridge, right? So that's all strangers there, probably. I mean, I think they should have kept it in high school or maybe take it to college and maybe it's like,

oh, man, you were supposed to die butt chugging that vodka. Definitely. Oh, man, death goes to college. Final Destination 3. I like that better. Yes, yes. And then you get like Tony Todd as a professor there, maybe in the med school. Yes.

Cadvars. Oh, yeah. What are you talking about him, Dad? I just drank 50 beers. Well, that can do it, actually. I hate to break it to you, but that will do it. The mother and... I think, by the way, I think we all cheated death at least a few times.

Oh, my God. Oh, absolutely. No, the Reaper's been coming from. for me for years. There's a mother and a son, and the son's got two big water bottles, and he's playing, like, drums with them. And when the accident starts to happen,

it rolls under her brakes, she can't break, and her car explodes, like full-on Simpson joke car explosions. Yes. Up and down, this explosion. It's great. There are, like, there's a couple of those. And then, like, the most exquisite one

is there's, like, a douchebag in a sports car who, this is, Holby from I'll always know what you did last summer. He like gets into a wreck and you see like our protagonists their car sort of rolls over. Yeah you got oh you got one of those SUVs they'll flip on over you. Oh they'll flip

or that Canyonero is going to flip right over on you. They fucking they hit a fucking a key chain and they fucking flip. And so like this protagonist, this Kimberly character is watching this kid stuck in his car while like CGI flames

burn him, you know, and he's still alive and screaming and I'm like wow this is really horrible and then like as if the movie was like you think that's bad this truck driven by the devil himself flies to a different truck not the logging truck flies through this wall of flames and just incinerates this guy and I know pileups happen but I mean like breaks do exist and it's like it's also like clear as day there's no rain it's not dark out like fucking slow down if you see a flaming wreck truck yeah a quarter mile up the road the beer guy got out of his truck and looked like oh god I'm glad I'm drunk Jesus just like you can slow down you could swerve possibly do not plow through children or just you know how about pulling over

yeah why don't we just stop driving for a little bit and get a handle on the situation well no even in spring break there is ice on the road so everybody skirts and squeak towards the fucking death this other girl this business woman girl her car flips up I think it then explodes possibly that's that's fun

yeah she does she flips over and goes right into another wall of flames just tremendous she's this weird character where it's like I imagine she works for like a big pharma kind of thing or something she's shown like constantly smoking little like

Cigarillo type things. Like, I see something like that in a movie. I'm like, well, I instantly hate this character. But that's the thing is like, that's literally all you know about her is that she is a quote unquote businesswoman and she smoked Cigarello's. That's like the top and bottom of her character. No, well, you know, if you knew anything else about her, it would be out of fashion for the rest of the movie.

Oh, and she gets a little annoyed every once in a while. She seems very, you should put upon. A type A kind of personality you'd call that. Sure. They kind of have a thing where it's like, Had they lived through this movie, maybe her and the Cokehead were going to like awkwardly get together at one point or something. Because there's that like movie like insult flirting that happens. And I was like, oh, I don't know with these two.

And then they fucking die horribly. So it doesn't matter. And then she like, Kimberly snaps out of it when she gets plowed by this car. And she's like, oh my God. And realizes she turns on the radio highway, the hell is there. there's some lady who's got just cans and that's another oh right there's a homeless lady

like banging on the window she's guns she's really the one that like sets it off and like the reason is she's holding her her her bag of cans upside down you had one job homeless lady come on she didn't well she didn't have any job

exactly her only job is to hold the fucking thing the right way oh there was a shit one homeless related job so she's on the side of the highway this on by she's credited as on ramp lady which i appreciated but so she's just walking around collecting cans that have been thrown out of cars i guess so there's probably a lot of emptying out trucker piss oh man it's a living man yeah no

fucking lemon lime gatorade bottles for you lady she's just going through like the bushes that's piss yeah that's piss mountain dew but it could be also piss Yeah, well, it may have pissing it, but it's still worth five cents. It depends. If you're feeding it to a machine, it's worth five cents. If you're giving it to a person, it is not. Well, sure. Sorry, lady, this has piss at it.

Denied. Only worth three cents. Oh, geez. To duck two cents for piss. Oh, Jesus, this one is like asparagus pee. Get it out. Get it out. Get it out.

Now you owe me five cents. There are three condoms in this can of cherry coke. I'll take wet cigarette butts, but that's as far as I'll go. Oh, shit. This is how the Matrix starts, guys. People start putting common to coin returns and shit and the fucking machines start being like, well, you know, we don't want this, but we'll use it. Oh, I thought you meant that they become sentient from it.

The human biology sort of marriages. That's a great call. That's probably how that works. or they grow babies, you know? That's honestly where I thought you were taking this too. It was very unlike you to not go that route. I was trying to go somewhere and I forgot where I was and I swerved erratically. I believe this totally.

I think the Nebuchadnezzar was a Tesla that was just full with cum one day. Oh my God. I mean, it would make sense. I think so. I think that's right. So, yeah, we're back on the on ramp. And she is like, you know, blocking what turns out. to be the line of traffic of all the people that we just saw die.

So she's like, oh, hey, okay, let's pull in front of the on-ramp here and, like, block the traffic and I'm going to save all of these people kind of a thing. And this is where we're introduced again to our sheriff duty here, whatever this guy's name is. Sheriff, no, no, Officer Burke. Officer Burke, yeah. I will say mostly accurate New York State Trooper uniforms, by the way. Yes, I was surprised.

Later on, we do get Chief Tyrell from Battleston. Galatica playing a sheriff's department member i believe yeah yeah um so yeah so this guy's like oh hey miss you know what's going on here uh you're blocking all this traffic and she's like hey i'm i had this vision you remember flight 180 from last year right well it's the one year anniversary and um as he's doing this like then you see like all these people that we're going to die which are we talked about like they're behind them like hey come on we want to go on the highway and get fucking killed and as they're having this argument he's like lady get out of the car they get out of the car

and this truck just plows right into her her fucking SUV killing all of her friends instantly well that's the second truck that's what's outrageous is like the accident starts happening and they're like see it happened and she's like standing sort of out of the way watching the log thing and then that fucking devil truck that came through the wall of flames that's the one that just rams her car and the you know the the state troopers saves her but these three friends that I'm sitting here like

yeah hey I thought these guys were in the movie I definitely thought like oh how's stoner guy gonna get it what about exactly I was is uh is horny girl gonna hook up with 2000s guy that's kind of fun no they're all dead yeah totally and I got to say like nice move screenplay like truly did not see that coming that's true you don't see it coming but at the same time it's like those are the people I've gotten to No. I want to see that you shoot your wad and you take up them all. Like, give me a little bit one by one. But then I know we're doing that with the fucking traffic people. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Traffic people. The movie about traffic people. What happened to the horny lady? Oh, no. I was going to attach. I was there. That's exactly what I was thinking because I was like, I bet she'll die hornily. Hornily, yes, absolutely. A type of horny mishap. Oh, man. You do not want to. die for the veal horny mishap dude 66% chance for me that that's what i'm guessing i like those odds uh so then in a weird turn of events for some reason because like she you know convinced this cop

that she knew that accident was going to happen this cop is like all right so the move is to take all over these people who were stuck in traffic downtown to a police station i guess so and like good luck get these people to follow you, asshole. Am I being detained? Can I speak to my lawyer? Two questions I'd like to ask. Do all of them have to say I would like to speak to my lawyer? Are they being in I was really confused by

this. And the chief is just like, ah, yeah, it's pretty crazy. And that's, that's kind of all he says. By the way, that guy I wrote down of my notes, his name is Colmiti. It kind of looks like Colmini, but he's a little heavier. He doesn't sound anything

like him, though. But, Chief O'Brien. has been going to the fucking replicator for some Burger King drive for you do. Oh, dude, that's the only way you could do. No, you have to go to the Holo Deck for that. You could only get Burger King on the Holodeck. It needs to be, like, in program. And there's, like, different, like, settings.

They will not let you have Burger King in your quarters kind of a situation. Hey, I'll fucking do it. The Holodeck has better vents, for sure. You know, actually, most of the time, you lose the flavor when a steak is replicated. But this tastes just like Burger King. The Burger King I had been on Earth.

O'Brien, are you having white castle at 4 o'clock in the morning? Are you high, mister? No. Chicken rings, Chief chicken rings. Where's Keiko? She'll vouch for me. These chicken fries taste like nothing, just like the chicken fries on Earth. Chief O'Brien, were you beaming out?

You were beaming leftover rice. rappers from Burger King into space. Space litter is naughty, naughty, mister. No more Holladegh Burger King for you. It hit the front of a Romulan view screen and caused up a 20 spaceship pile-up. You never saw so many hilarious explosions, Chief. I mean, it's good for us because they're fucking Romulans.

Star Trek pile-up. Yeah, absolutely. what's weird about this whole scene of like in what world would like okay there's been an accident oh my god all right gather everyone who survived just barely you know like these people who are still struggling with the fact that they nearly died in this car wreck and then put them all in one room as if this is a crime we're sussing out we're trying to crack the case or something like i don't yeah put a blanket on them and send them home totally dude and then like um she uh j cook is like going through the whole thing again about hey jever hear about flight 180 yada yada so this is this is insane and then she's

oh do you go sorry but like she says i think we're about to say the same thing but like she says all of this and she's like my premonition was just like his she's talking about devon sawa and then someone is like the mother or somebody is like tc carson is like waha ha ha who's spooky spooky that's because that's because someone else is like wait what are you talking about and tc carter is the one like minutes after she just says it all is like you mean you don't know the story and he starts doing it again and I was

like who do you think wasn't paying attention? My thing was like he's doing it in like this spooky scary voice I'm like dude you just saw 40 people die like you know what I mean like you might be traumatized. Totally man let's fucking dial back the cynicism a little bit. This woman literally just saved

your life. If I'm Burke I'm thinking maybe she set up her fucking friends to get run over because she runs out of this fucking car and like lives it right in the middle of the road, it seems like. And, like, she's just like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I had a premonition like that. Yeah, like that, that different saw a guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I had a premonition and they didn't, you know, yeah.

So you think she was just trying to kill her horny friend. She's just sick of the horniness. Yeah. I'm just so sick of my horny friend. She fucked my stoner friend, and I want to fuck that guy. And now I'm just going to get them all killed. No way I'm fucking 2003 guy. Fuck that weirdo in his frosted tips.

and you know blah blah blah they let everybody go but we make sure the chief his only function is to be like ha and this other kid you hear about him he won the lottery yesterday and today he didn't die in a car accident what a lucky kid anyways on to the next scene with the one little the juicy the juicy little bit that we're given here is that um alley larder's character from the first movie clear rivers uh is still alive and she has sequestered herself to a mental institution so you just have that line of

clear rivers is in a padded room how do you know? The problem with this name really had to go somebody had to get rid of this because every time it comes up I think it's like where you go to like a detox or something like there's like a sobering facility somewhere rehab facility Kevin you're totally right it's a rehab

facility I thought they were talking about like environmentalism or something like these clear rivers should be in a padded sound like wait what how do you contain water sir in the first movie at least like people are saying it where it sounds enough like Claire and I'm like oh her name

is Claire but now they're really hitting no no her name is clear and also like to then have like the R into an R clear rivers like Jesus Christ you know what the last name should be Smith or Johnson or something of that

point well one of the things speaking to the names that they like sort of do here but give up on for the most part if you'll recall in the first movie the majority of those main characters have the last name that's similar to a famous director yes uh specifically the only one i remember is shot william scott is billy hitchcock right um so in this movie you've got uh oh you're right the mom and the son have the last name of carpenter and then our main character kimberley is Kimberly Corman. Yeah. But then other than that,

like they stopped doing it. And it's like, look, if you're going to kind of do that again, like you got a whole hog that shit. Like it's a dumb idea in that first movie and like either drop it entirely or everybody's got a director of me. T.C.

Carter should be like Jimmy Bava. Jimmy Bava. T.C. Carson. But yes. So, yeah, it's like that whole scene like totally falls apart. We have Kim asking the dad, like, hey, you know, dad, this is going to sound kind of weird, but, uh, was my dead mama psychic by any chance?

No. Why do you ask? You know, she's asking about, like, you know, because she had the vision and whatnot. But then we get, it starts off right away, like, we pick back up with the killing pretty fast in this movie. I love it. We get to lottery boy here who's like just gone on a shopping spree. He's got, like, clothes and an IMAX box. I guess he counts, too, because he's ever.

Louis. It could be Herschel Gordon Lewis. Oh, sure. Yeah, I guess that's true. So long as you're not doing like Donnie Craven and then I'm like walking out of the theater. I'm like, you know what? Yeah. Frank De Palma. Sarah Spielberg. Hey, wait, Rachel Fulci.

What do you watch some Italian horror movies lately? I've been trying to get, Gialo has never been, or Giala has never really been my thing, so I've been trying a little bit more. Ask me for some tips off the air. I'll lead you away, buddy. I mean, I've seen all, most of Bava, but anyway, back to it.

Anyway. But anyway, Timmy Zepruder's in trouble. The world's best director. It would be funny if there was just a dude named Abraham Zepruder in this movie. I mean, you know, that day in Dallas was sort of a final destination because Lee Harvey Oswald was supposed to die as well. I don't know, maybe the bullet was supposed to come back and hit him because it's magic. Oh, right. So then Jack Ruby is now the Tony Thurie.

Todd. I mean, Chief could have been easily called Officer Zeprooter. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, so this kid I love, they do, there's funny shit in this movie, like this movie knows like, hey, you know what's coming and we're going to kind of tease you a little bit because he's like

carrying all this stuff and he's walking through this hallway and there's like shit in the hall and, you know, he almost like slips and falls down the stairs a bunch of times. Little did I know the spectacular sequence of events that was about to happen here. I want to make sure everyone

gets this. He throws out a pan of old spaghetti that has been sitting in his apartment for who knows how long. Throws it right out the window. It'll come into play later. But throwing your food out the window into an alley, that's not

going to fly in white plains, sir. Dude, this isn't medieval France. What are you doing? I know we've got, we we don't have ditches anymore. Like we've got garbage cans. Not only do we have garbage cans, Steve, we learn right away that this dude has a garbage disposal feet from the stove where the old spaghetti was sitting. I love that this kid comes into his house again. He's checking all his messages and the joke is it's all these sexy

ladies that has probably rebuffed him in the past that are all like, oh, hey, I heard about your lottery win. Give me a call. And he takes off his shirt. He has the nipple ring. He's got this. It's a thing where it's like if I was this actor but can I keep my shirt on honestly like it's just not he's not quite there with the shirt off no well welcome to fucking most times a woman is in a horror movie that's fair I just mean like he's just not in great shape as well yeah I'm looking at this dude's beefy tits with that fucking pierce nipple dude I see what's going on comparatively to your average person he's in good shape and this and this is by the way we need more dudes with shirts off like this because it's suddenly hey I'm not looking at

bad no get me wrong it's bad yeah but it's not as yeah that's a good point give me more andy dwyer chris pratt's less space lord fucking or star lord god damn like like if he was super buff like could you imagine the rock just being murdered in his final destination dude he's in every movie get him in the next final destination movie it would be fantastic you know where there's you know where there's kind of a this is funny but there's kind of a rock final destination

death is in it's that Will Ferrell Mark Walberg movie I think it's called the wrong guys the other guys the other guys yes I think it's the rock and Samuel L. Jackson both have hilarious fucking deaths in that movie like at the beginning of it jump off the roof yeah

yes yeah funny movie pretty funny movie uh but the other thing too this guy it's not like all right I'm you know I get it I've been there like you're home from a long day of whatever you take his shirt off and whatnot this dude takes his shirt off to start frying up fish sticks?

No, it takes off his shirt, takes off his shirt, blasts the incubus, and it just fucking puts like second, it's not even, they're not called mozzarella sticks, but that's what they are clearly. I thought it was fish sticks. Do you see a box label? Yes, you definitely see it like, but it's like street, it's like a Trader Joe's packaging where it's like a street corner snacks, because we have our own branding, so shut the fuck up. And dude, I mean, I know, you know, 2003 seamless doesn't exist, but it's fucking, you just

won the lottery. Call Villapiano and get a fucking pizza pie over your house or something. Like, you don't have to live like a scumb bag. You have so much money. You don't even like, don't fucking kill yourself cooking fish things. So eating at home makes you a scumb bag. Eating like

this, it does. I'm sorry. Here's the other thing. This is a total mess. His whole thing is just because he starts heating up a pan which he threw the spaghetti out of and he instantly tries to like put oil in it while the burner's on and he's just throwing it everywhere.

Yeah, there's just fucking oil all over this stove top and it's a fucking gas range. A magnet goes into this open thing of low main that he then puts in the microwave to just, oh, it's a toaster of it, I think actually. Yeah. No, it's a

microwave. Oh, it's a microwave. Because that's why it starts exploding. But this is adding to the madness. It is compounding the madness. Because, okay, I've made plenty of fucking homemade frozen mozzarella stick type things in my day. You know what you're doing?

It's either in the oven or a toaster oven or if you're really fucking high and you need that cheese fix fast, you're putting them in the microwave. None of this like... Vegetable oil. Dude, it's like a cup of vegetable oil and I'm just stove top frying these frozen things that are already fried, you idiotic. All right. Having myself a nice dinner of garbage noodles, frozen mozzarella sticks.

And, oh, I found a half of vitamin water. the garbage. And that's the thing. You won the lottery yesterday. Fucking call up and get to your heart's content. Order too much food. Who cares? I can't get my life together.

Instead, I'm going to go buy a solid gold watch and a rocket car and this fucking ring that signifies, I guess, the fucking Indianapolis Colts or something. Oh, is that what it was? I don't know. It was just a fucking horseshoe. I'm like, what are you buying a diamond horseshoe ring in White Plains, New York? I guess it's to signify how lucky he is.

That's a luck thing. I guess sure. Yeah, I guess. I guess that's what this is supposed to be. But I just still cannot get over the cross-colonary bastardization of mozzarella sticks and low-made noodles. Even if it's fish sticks, it's still not good. No, either way, it's disgusting. It drops that ring down the garbage disposal.

And he's like, well, you know, instead of addressing the fire going on in my house, I'm going to shove my hand down this drain. So then we get that suspensive. is his hand going to be ripped apart? And he doesn't even take off the watch. And it's like maybe now he can't get his hand out of the garbage disposal because of the watch. And now you've ruined both the ring and the watch, by the way. Honestly, someone this stupid

deserves what's happening to him right here, honestly. Oh, no, hand too big. Hand can't come out of complete. Oh, I die from fire. Oh, no. No. made me laugh. I did.

Geach gone to heaven, Mr. Turwell. I kind of imagine Tony Todd being like, oh crap, he was supposed to die tomorrow. Wait, what? Wait, hold on. He was supposed to, there was supposed to be a big thing at an office with a water, the water tower was going to fall up. So he just exploded into his apartment. Turns out, Evan was the dumbest mac daddy of them all. Call it off.

Call off the water thing. no he burned in his apartment i don't know how it happened no i'm telling you julia cancel the visions i know that they're all supposed to get visions cancel them now it is just so fucking hilarious to see this fire fire spreading through his apartment while these people are calling on the answering machine like hey baby i know we haven't talked in a while but i'm super fucking horny right now call me back hope your apartment isn't burning down with you inside it hey baby you got any more low main for me oh girl on machine record could i get that low main extra

magnity uh yeah let me get a number four with extra magnets and uh the fuck in a place is burning he eventually gets his hand out and the fire extinguisher is like dead okay he starts going out on the fire escape meanwhile the entire apartment is exploding for some reason. I am shocked he's not juggling that I'm back. No, not the computer. And he's going on, it's great because it's subverts expectations. You think he's going to die in the fiery blaze. But no, he gets off the fire escape.

And he's like, ha, slips on his spaghetti and lands on broken glass without the shirt on. So that hurts. Yeah, it does. And then all of a sudden, boom, the ladder impales him through the eye, which is, you know, it was good but kind of lame i kind of want to watch him burn to death a little yeah also that is kind of like a real cg i.e blood yeah it was pretty cg i but i will say steve it changes it up a little bit because you know to be fair we did see him hilariously burned to death like no more than 15 minutes ago in the car i do love oh you go chris no i was just saying we see a bunch of people burn to death i

don't want to see anybody else burned to death i'm done with burning that's good with burning that's fair that's fair yeah i guess that makes sense uh so after that happens but like before the news spreads we cut to this fucking deputy dog here doing his fucking research on the first movie again we see like they show you the pictures of all the actors from the first movie and like you're being reminded about how they all died and then it's like oh and there's devon sawa he was killed a few days ago because a brick fell on his head i love that i love that but but also just having the photos of these dead kids on the internet on this web page. Dude, I think this cop was on rotten.com.

Yeah, because the little, like, things that explain, like, it's not like vehicular fucking, you know, accident, it's like hit by car, head chopped off, strangled in bathroom. Well, there's a great one of, it's a strangled and bathroom kid who, um, the caption on the picture, he might be on rotten.com because it's like, here's a great shot before the coroner showed up, literally.

Oh, yeah, that's right. he's like dead on the bathroom floor yeah i remember that now yeah who took that photo was his father come in there dude was fucking tony todd snapped a quick death pick oh my babies i love my death babies maybe it was the fucking uh la county sheriff's department before they were pedaling pictures of fucking uh coby brian's fucking crash those scumbags um got to make a buck dude got to make some money so i'll tell you what man cops love sharing that shit they do that all

that's not just the fucking LA County they're all just nightcrawler from Jake from a fucking what's his name from Jack Hill

but I forget who directed it I forgot oh yeah Dan Gilroy oh yeah that we see nobody cares

so like there's a great thing where like you get like all of the survivors from this movie kind of doing their thing hilariously

like young professional lady is like running on a treadmill while smoking which is kind of funny and they're all sort of watching TV and they've all kind of from that police

department scene been like this is bullshit we're out of here and then they see the news report that this lot of winner dude just ate shit and they all just start getting freaked out immediately not too bad yeah because everybody's like oh maybe that was real after all blah blah blah yeah meanwhile Kim is going

to visit Ali Larder at the mental institution where she meets this this doctor lady here and this actor God bless her she is going over the top in the scene it's like a weird you know she's going through the thing like okay she asks that

you know you remove your belt your shoelaces any earrings necklaces blah blah blah like going through the whole thing and she's like you know oh is this because you know she thinks I'm gonna or do you think this is because like you think that I'm gonna

be attacked by her or something like that and she's like no honey she thinks you're going to attack her. I was like, how about take two? Just trust me, you don't want clear rivers inside your head. Madman Rivers. Stay to the right.

Yeah, totally. And it is a full-on looney bin asylum kind of thing. Oh, sure. I mean, the movie thankfully chooses to forego any sort of like Madman Miggs-esque. You don't see any other patience

here. You just see one guy who is Napoleon. Yes. Who's referred to as a reference to one flu at the cuckus nest because you do see a Native American guy with long hair and it's like, get it? Oh, right. That was so fucking stupid. I blocked it from my memory entirely. Get it?

And by the way, you have to remember this is by the writers of the butterfly effect. You want to talk about some bad mental illness jokes. Oh, yeah, you're totally right. But you know what? I'm sure Miloche Foreman was just fucking tickled pink when he saw that. I don't think Milo. I think Milo's shout out, but, oh, I just, I didn't really care for the first final destination.

I love it's Milo's foreman opening weekend seeing final destination in theaters. Yeah, this looks like a good one. They lost the Devons shower. They lost them. They couldn't get their backs. No, I'm done. I'm out. I'm out.

Final destination, too. More of a rental. More of a rental. Yeah, so speaking if I could, Pepe Silvio, you know, Alley Larder, as Clear Rivers, has her own little map going on, you know. Can I talk to you about this crime collage she's got going here? Please, crime collage. No, no, no.

All I have is Mountain Dew a crab collage. It looks like she is Pepe Sylvia because there's like red lines, everything. So I'm like, okay, so there's string. You look closer. She's just making these Sharpie marker, like, strings from, like, lines from one to think. And there's nothing actually holding it up. She must have, like, rub pasted it, like, pasted the wall entirely and then put it up. Well, she is, she's there on her own accord.

So I guess she could bring her own materials. I guess. She could really do a craft project in there. Yeah. I mean, I don't know if she's maybe got, like, tape on the back of those papers, Chris. But it's not coming out, though. That, that never holds. What never holds?

It's like a fabric, too. Yeah. It's going to come right off. Oh, yeah. I don't know. Turns out it's a movie. No, it's not. No, it's not.

And you know it. she has an abhorrent line delivery right here though and like here's the thing guys she seems like a fine person but uh you know i think this movie asked too much of alley larger yep that's what i'm gonna say yeah no i think you're right and you can tell right from here it's like ooh you stepped in it now because it's like the Kimberly says something like oh is this you know what is this you got going on here whatever and she's like it's death's list and i was like oh boy oh Oh, shucks. Didn't Nixon have one of those?

Yeah. Oh, the Grim Reaper's been coming for me and all of my friends. He definitely said that once, in his own home, of course, but he definitely was like, oh, they're coming for me. Oh, death is coming for me. Mears, Kishinger, advises you, Mr. President, don't trigger the hot dog when it comes. You know, just be nice to a hot dog.

Oh, what are you saying, Hank? I got to sit here and look at a hot dog and not eat it. Mr. President, the only way to beat death is to beat him in his own game and feed him as many souls so he forgets about your own. That is why I am still alive. Then I pass into hot dog heaven. I will become the new death hot dog. Oh, that son of a bitch is going to hot dog hell, dude.

Don't worry about it. I think he's made some deals with the Almighty's at this point. There's no other reason he's alive. It turns out God is the devil. There you go. Twist. So like, you know, she explains to Kimberly. She's like, yeah, you know, the people on the plane, you know, they died in the order that they were supposed to die on the plane from that explosion, yada, yada, yada.

And then Kimberly is like, but wait a minute, in my premonition, me and my friends died last and dude strike to Allie Larner. You just get dead last. hachi-machi man it's just terrible delivery after terrible delivery and she's just like death is going in reverse what it's like yeah okay whatever that means and I mean like it's wait listen listen closely do you hear it beep

beep beep he's backing up death is backing up death drives a truck um so that's like she's like get out of here you know blah blah blah refuses to help yeah And she's like, I thought you were courageous, but I realized you're a coward and kind of like storms away.

Here's the thing, Kimberly. What did you think she was going to be able to do for you? Yeah. I mean, but also the thing is, if I'm Clear Rivers, and you know, we've said this many times, probably even on other Final Destination episodes, at this point you've got to kill yourself. Really? Like, if, if fucking, if even Devin Sawa gets aced by a brick, like, you know what I mean? Like, this shit's never going to stop. and I'm not giving the son of a bitch and I'm getting really high I'm fucking and then I'm killing myself with some bills you seem to be forgetting what happens to TC Carson he tries to do the the brave thing and just take yourself out of the equation and it doesn't work ridiculous so he later tries to shoot himself with a gun and like all six bullets none of them fire so does that mean like that guy is invincible until death says a lot could he jump off a bridge and like be fine great question both of you keep watching the series okay there's a gun

towards the end of one of them that answers these questions, I think. Ah, interesting. But yeah, I mean, the other thing that you sort of learn from Alley Larder is that between the end of the first movie and this one, you know, or whenever it was she committed herself

to this institution, she says something about how like her and Devonsawa have been going back and forth keeping each other from like being killed. So it's like she spent the, last year of her life just like dodging these mousetrap type situations with him and then it's like he decided to go out to the bodega one day or something and fucking got hit on the head with a brick and died like at that point it's like all right i've had enough of this fucking nonsense

exactly you know what like i'm just you know they're at that lake house at the end of the movie or whatever like just walk into the water man just call it a fucking day put some rocks in your pocket and walk into the water because nothing is worth this it's not. If you tried to like take pills or something like that, you'd find out like a minute, like a minute later. Oh, that was just low dose melatonin or something like that. Like everything would be stopped, I feel. And you know, if I was clear rivers, I guess GE wouldn't have been dumping their byproducts in there. Oh, man. Oh, boy. But it's a little regional Hudson River joke. So that's the question. So if she takes your advice, which is good advice, Andrews, just walking to the walk into the lake with the rock. their pockets. Does the, does the Grim Reaper maker grow gills at this point? Absolutely. Oh, shit. You know what? There's a, but you know what? If that happens, I'm just going to swim around underwater until a shark gets me, whatever the fuck the dude

has in store for me. If you try to do the Elliott Smith way, it just like bends against your chest. Oh, man. Man, oh man. Uh, I don't tell you, Elliot, it missed every organ, even your heart. I don't know how, just went out. Are you? And I guess here's a Band-Aid. Are you made out of titanium by any chance? I know I'm your doctor, and I should know these things, but... It's weird because that, like, you know, Kimberly leaves does a little flipping off the security camera and kind of walks away. And then, like, seconds later, Allie Larner just looks at the newspaper where it's the hilarious Lotto winner killed by Latter headline.

And she's like, you know what? Maybe I will help this girl. And it's like, all right, well, you could still catch her. You changed her mind fast enough. She's probably still in the parking lot. yell you're good yeah so you know

then we we catch up on another group of beloved characters from the traffic accident and it's little Timmy Carpenter and his mom mommy's taking this kid to the dentist this is clearly just Vancouver

out the ass right here it is so Vancouver because it's this kid was from X2 X-Men United one of my favorite movies he plays Iceman's little brother that fucking rats on the whole team oh is that right

that dark there needs to be a deleted scene where he gets fucking aced by Magneto, like just fucking ripped apart. No, you know what it is? Dude, fucking Iceman, like, comes back, and he's like, hey man, nut tap, but he freezes his fucking nuts.

Oh, shit, frozen nut. Totally, dude. Take that shit, you little rat. Rat bastard. He's a little rat bastard that kid. I've always hated that kid. Wow, I didn't, I didn't recognize this actor, you know, if you hate him, I guess I hate him too.

Thank you, Eric. That's what friendship's all about. Yes. And, you know, there's a lot of setups here. There's, there's like jack hammering happening outside the dentist's office. Every location they go to. Every single time, later on a gas station, it's just like, well, let me look around real quick. I am in final destination.

Oh, is there a, there's someone from the electric company just smashing the fucking wires with a pole. Okay. Oh, there's kids smoking cigarettes. All right. I love it because he goes in. First of all, I don't know what this joke. is it's a weird one where he's like hey mom if i uh if i uh come if i come to from the gas and

my pants are unbuttoned we're not paying and like the receptionist's like excuse me dude yeah this kid is like making a hey if i'm raped at the dentist joke hey mom just as a goof in case i get jerked off by the dent by the dentist while i'm under the gas we might have to get out of here quick it's like did he see that watley episode of Seinfeld where Jerry has his like shirt is untucked? Maybe that was on syndication last night because that's the only way this makes sense

and she's like oh Timmy, stop it. I'm like, what are you talking about? What if my dentist is also manufacturing child pornography? And also yeah, this kid is like really young as like 14, 15 years old. It's a really like dude, could you not? This is a child's dentist too, right?

Because there's, we eventually we get to it but there's like a little thing over, it's like what you put it over a crib. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's it called? Like a mobile? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is, it's a mobile that looks like hanging from it is like fishing lures.

Because that's when he starts choking on at one point. I mean, it's all just totally weird. Also, they're giving this kid the gas. It's like, I don't know, man. Like, what are you really getting gas for? Like, well, he's having a tooth to remove, but he's trying to inject the kid with a novacane, but he's like,

dentist who's a hilarious delivery of pigeon smashes the widows. Oh, they're at it again. I'm like, wait, what are you talking about? The bird wars are going on. Dude, he starts mumbling something around like, I keep telling these people, the birds keep crashing out of my wickers. No one don't listen to me. Every day I walk back to my fucking Bentley and there's 30 dead pigeons on my way there,

all from the windows. I just love how resigned he is. First of all, this high-rise dentist, has anyone ever been to a high? I mean, I think the highest I've ever been is, like, third floor tops. I was going to say, I have a 10-floor dentist. Oh, okay. Yeah, on 57th Street, Manhattan. I know I'm a big deal.

Oh, shit. Yeah, look at that. Big old Manhattan dentist, huh? Yeah. Yeah, there's that, but it's kind of funny because he's trying to do the injection. And the first time it happens and it's like, once would have been like, you know what, motherfucker gas me? Like, I'm not going to have you try that again.

But it's hilarious because he goes back at the second time and another bird flies and he's like, oh, God damn it! All these pigeons! Oh, man, it is so great. And then he's like, do you want me to just give you the gas? And the kid's like, yeah, I'd rather not have you in that needle near my mouth. Thank you very much. He gives the gas and like the kid starts to go out.

And then he hears a commotion in the waiting room. And it's his mother and the receptionist. And they've got this flopping pigeon all over the place. Because it's broken through the window. And the receptionist is like, oh, not again. I'm like, what is happening in this office? Dude, I got to ask that dentist like, hey, man, how long is this lease because you got to get out of here? How is not anyone in this movie named Hitchcock?

Yeah, that's actually true. Yeah, maybe this was like Billy Hitchcock's dad was the dentist or something. Is there a color you can paint the window at this point? Because after the third time this happens, we've got to fix it. I think death was like got there early to put like a curse on it. so there's a few weeks of absolute disasters going on in these office before this happens. And, you know, there's also, like, they're doing a little fake-out situation here because, like, there's a fish tank that starts leaking and it's leaking onto an electrical outlet and the water,

much like the bathroom scene in the first movie, is kind of like, you know, eerily sort of crawling towards the mother's feet. But then she gets up right out of the way, you know, as soon as the pigeon comes. through and everything. So death misses her right there and it's like a whole commotion and the kid meanwhile is like back in the room and the dentist does make some comment about like all right so when you're on this gas

Billy you know you're Timmy whatever your name is you're going to um you're going to be sort of paralyzed you're not going to be able to move but you're going to be awake the whole time so the dentist runs out of the room to go address what the hell's going on in the waiting room and this like yeah it's like it looks like a little fishing like a fly fishing

thing or something falls off of the mobile and lands in this kid's mouth and starts choking him and I was like this is the worst death of the whole fucking franchise because it is horrific yeah but he gets I want that to happen and the dentist to come back in he's like this is for ice

man you little piece of shit I'm gonna jerk you off now sorry while you choke the death oh man can't tell your mother about this anymore can you The lazy boy, David Caradine.

Oh, man. Yeah, so then it's like, you know what? Maybe we'll come back to the doctor's office another day. You clearly have a lot going on right now. Fix your pigeon situation, sir, before I come back. Maybe get some fucking chicken wire over these windows or something, man. I don't know what to tell you. Also, maybe have an aquarium that's not just like a trash bag with holes in it.

This thing is like bursting. That's what causes the pigeon to come in. There's a big like electrical fire. But it's full of trash fish, though. Yes, it is. It makes sense. Yes, it does. It makes sense.

So, like, oh, man, that was something. And meanwhile, Kimberly and the state trooper hooked up, and they're like, she's like, I can see symbols, blah, blah, blah, pigeons. And then, like, so they're running up to these people. And she's like, no, the pigeons. Look out for the pigeons. And the kids, like, pigeons, that's a great idea. I'm going to go scare them. And, dude.

And this moment, I was like, how. Now how old is this guy Exactly. Because you're chasing after pigeons like my dog, your child. It's like a six-year-old situation. Yeah. And while he's doing it, a huge pane of glass, which I guess was going to go on the dentist's office.

Yeah, yeah, you're right. Oh, no, my birdproof glass. Extra industrial strength, birdproof But like finding a guy to install it that fast, that's insane. I mean, it probably in reality, folks, it would have been like

piece of plywood. They're nailing over for a few years. No, I think it's a thing where it's because there's also jackhammering going on. So there's just like a generic construction site outside of the office. Vancouver, a city on the moon. Also, if these pigeons have been killing themselves like this for weeks, like he's had to replace this

window a few times, I feel like. All right, we got another one for the fucking DDS. Great. Okay. Yeah, get up there, John. Uh, it's, yeah. It smushes this kid like a bug. Oh, it's great. It's nuts. It's fucking great dude and it's like this lady's like right there yikes i feel though you know the woman winds up having like her own death later on but like it would be kind of

rad if you know tony todd or the devil himself death or whatever was just like well they were in the same car and like it falls on both of them yeah that'd be cool get a good like simultaneous smoohing going on um this is when they go to see tony todd because they're like okay allie larder meets up with them she's like i know someone who might be able to help us he's a he's a he's a mortician that knows more than he's letting on or something it's like dude i don't get it i think i'm all in for having tony todd come back in this movie but guess what he's he's death himself he can play anything else he can play the science teacher and like the audience is like oh my god it's him again you know right that's totally fine this scene is crazy nonsense bad because she's acting as if like while she

was in this nut house, like she was exchanging letters with Tony Todd or something. You know what I mean? Because they get to the door of the mortuary or the crematorium, I guess, more specifically, as we see here in a moment. And like, one of them, Kimberly or the cop is like, you know, oh, shouldn't we knock first or something? And she's like, he probably already knows we're coming. And I'm like, okay, you know, whatever. And then when they get in, dude, Tony Todd gives his best like Mrs. Doubtfire. impression right here? Yeah, dude, he's like, hello, clear. And I was like, what? I'm into Tony Todd doing Mrs. Doubtfire reboot. I'm into it. Oh, absolutely. It was a drive by fruiting.

Tony Todd just ripping an old lady's face off of his own face. Absolutely. Mrs. Doubtfire does have those moments of near death experience. Death is always lurking in the background of that film. Like, Pierce Broson is allergic to those pepses. Don't put them on a shrimp. And they would have to go like the trailer, like the, you know how they did the Daufire horror trailer?

They would have to go like horror with Tony Todd as Mrs. Daufire. And you know what? And yeah, next summer, help is not on the way, dear. There's no way anyone's going to fall for that, though, because Tony Todd's tall as hell. A large woman? A fucking, you ever see a fucking 6-10 old lady? Oh, it's a giant woman. I don't think Tony Todd's 610, but he's a tall guy way taller than the old lady I've ever seen.

And I'm including B. Arthur in this. Oh, you know what it is? It's, um, his kids see him peeing standing up. It's Mrs. Doubtfire, but it's what it is. It's his Klingon character. So it's all Klingons. I think he's like Worf's brother. Am I mistaken?

Yes, he's most definitely Wurfs brother. So it's that character, but like he's got his own kids. Now he gets divorced the whole situation. And it's him on. on and he plays Mrs. Dautroch. I'd be down for that, dude. He's hanging out. Or if I'm here to take care of your son, Alexander.

It's me, Mrs. Dautwach. I am here to restore honor to this family. It is I, Mrs. Dautch. By the way, with all the Star Trek digressions on this episode, be sure to check out our podcast series, The Nexus on Patreon. on. That's where we do that a lot. That's where we do that actually where it makes sense. Yeah. And we do it nonstop. So it's a lot of fun. Check it out if you haven't.

Tony Todd fucking wheels out this dead kid from earlier. Evan Lewis, the, the lotto winner. And it's a weird. This is where I'm like, if this guy is not death himself, which he is. But if he's not, he's a dude that really loves being a coroner way too much. Because he does the old like, dead but still fresh and i'm like are you fucking kissing this kid this is where we get the nipple rip yep oh totally which you know he immediately throws him in the uh you know fucking incinerator here to be cremated and i was like you can't just melt down that fucking nipple ring i guess if you're collecting all the ash to put an urn maybe not what i don't want to go fishing around in there for a nipple ring Take me all fucking

fucking nipple rings It's just like later Tony Todd It's just in the urn With like a little hazmat suit on Like no oh He had a dung ring I didn't even know Fuck fuck

Oh great I'm sifting through the ashes Like a fucking old 49er prospect How could I have possibly known He had a Prince Albert Jesus Christ Oh well he would have known right Dude that's what the fuck

That's what it should have been by the way Is like Beat 1 is Tony Todd takes the fucking clamp or whatever and pulls out an earring, right? And then it's like beat two, Tony Todd pulls off that nipple ring. And then it's like when we're going to finish the scene, the fucking third beat, the fucking PS de resistance, he fucking just puts his hand under the sheet and fucking tugs off a Prince Albert. Then you go to NC17 Final Destination 2. We need it, dude. No, no, no, don't worry.

We're not going to hide. I directed this movie. We're not going to show the thing ripping off through the piece. We're just going to see the penis being tugged by Tony Todd a little bit, and then it's going to sound up, and that's going to be it. We should do like a, you know, like a porn parody of all these movies, like Orgasm Destination or fucking Destination. Fucking Destination is a great idea, right? And then you can like, everyone's like getting fucked off and dying on their own or whatever. Because I guess they die.

And then Tony Todd fucks the body. No, this is perfect. Eric, what he's about to say, like, life cancels. out death in this equation. If the thing is just like, look, to escape death, what you have to do is just fuck a bunch of people. And one of them's going to get pregnant and then that's it. That's it follows, right? Also that, yeah. Pretty much. Because he's just, you know, Kimberly kind begs him in tears here. It's like, you have nothing you can give me. Oh my God. You know, this is so unfair. And he's like, well, you know what. And I don't know why he's helping these people

anyway. Like the whole point is he wants, he wants to get his books closed. But he's like, listen, the only thing that'll stop um death is new life and the idea is it would have to come from a place that couldn't exist without this weird alternate timeline we're now living in kind of a thing yes life life that was not meant to be forces death to start anew well that is what this i you know what when tony todd is talking in this scene and giving all of this shit but the entire time i was just thinking of that joke in wainsworld where mike myers is like and that security guard was very helpful again because I think that's too much he's just got to be like a creepy guy

an undertaker maybe you know something else like in this movie is like maybe he's a guy at the police station that like just says something very eerie to them you're like what's that guy's deal but we the audience know who he is exactly instead of like I said you know she's been writing in postcards from the clink kind of a thing

but so that yeah but I do think the ideas you got to start fucking and get one of these ladies pregnant that's it that's the one yes yeah absolutely but so like they're trying to figure out like what he could possibly mean by that and then she remembers there was in the line of people that she blocked with her car a pregnant woman who's played by justino macado who's in one day at a time now the new one day of time with tobo she's like the mom on that show um so they're like oh say this woman was uh you know supposed to die along with us and she was all we have to do for the rest of this runtime is make sure that she lives long enough to have the baby and we'll be freed okay and that's like what you know that's sort of yeah all right and that's it's a thing they have a meeting with all the other survivors and tc carson is not having it this is what he does try to kill himself um but oh no no no he's

just not having it this is ridiculous it's just all a coincidence so him and the mother because She's just like, I got to go home, pled by son's funeral guys. Sorry. They go to this elevator. We see on the way up that there's a problem with the bumpers on the elevator, wherein they don't bounce back when they're supposed to kind of a thing. Right. Like if something is obstructing it from closing, automatically, you know,

an elevator door will open back up again and this doesn't happen. Here's my question. Did Tony Todd put this fucking creep in the elevator with her, or is this a happy accident or what? I think Tony Todd, like, contracted this guy to be like, hey, man, you look creepy as fuck. You want to help me out with something? You and your box full of artificial hook-hand limbs? Where is he going with those?

He's like the hook-hand delivery man? Marissa, Marissa, yeah. Did you book the hand guy for the elevator we have for later this month? You've got to book him. I can't kill those people if you don't have the hook guy in there. Hook guy fills up fast. I bet his calendar is already set. You better call him now.

And he sniffs that woman's hair? That's the thing, dude. And it's a real, it's not a casual, like, lean in. It's a real. Oh, yeah, totally, dude. He's using a little hook to, like, get some of the hair up on the hook to fucking give it a good whiff. And I do like with T.C. Carson, who's just like, kind of an impartial bystand. He knows this woman a little bit.

He's like, excuse me? It's amazing. Here's my question with a hook hand guy. Was his expectation he was going to. sniff this woman's hair so outrageously and then tc carson was like right on man you got her like a couple of dudes being dudes like nice yeah like he was going to slowly like reach behind this woman and give this dude a fist bump really quickly sick sniff bro hey you want in on this buddy you want to smell her hair too oh i'm gonna move in front of her you can't get her it's got a good

Dude, jump right in the sniffing is fine. Save enough smell for me. I could cut off a little bit of it for you. I know it's not the same. It doesn't have the same flourish. But it's good. It's good. Yeah, he just has to be like, um, pardon me?

Oh, a real person. Ah, hmm. So, like, one of his hook hands, like, gets stuck in this woman's ponytail. It causes a whole thing. Like, the elevator opens. She gets stuck in the fucking. door, and this is when

Ali Larder and our Cigarillo woman who has stepped out to have a smoke sort of like are convening on the apartment building lobby, see that there's like a struggle happening here, and wouldn't you know this woman is decapitated by the elevator? Very almost the omen too. There's a doctor in that movie that gets fucking cut in half by the elevator, not too shabot. It's pretty good

and the head like rolls into the elevator and hook hand guy's like, oh my God, I wanted it, but not like this. Not like this. No, not like this. He just puts it into his sack of arms and it's like, and then TC Cross says to be like, dude, like, oh, sorry. Oh, Mr. Angel, man, I can't steal her head and fucking, sorry. I was just trying to get a little head. Perfect waste of some good hair. So, you know, do you got any scissors on you? What does this? I want to make a carpet out of this hair. You wouldn't happen to have some buzzers on you.

Oh, there's no way. You couldn't get some electricity here. Never mind. I'm sorry. Mr. Goody Tooshoes, is it aroused by a fucking decapitated head? Well, congratulations. Fine.

I will go back to my weird apartment and have this decapitated head only blow me then. Can I smell her mouth like a normal person or is that too much as well? Mr. Judge, he just. Smell her mouth. Sorry, buddy. I didn't know the Pope was in town. Wow, congratulations. I'm surprised you can see me all the way up there on your high horse.

No, seriously, do you want to smell it real quick or not? It's got to be at least 20 minutes for the paramedics arrive. We could jerk off. Before the corner arrives, let's snap a pick, put it on the net. I just realized it. You're going to send it some cop friends. I just realized that Cigarillo Girl is, One of the women who's trying to get Josh Artnett to beat off in 40 days and 40 nights.

A premier stay tuned. One of the bigger ones, yeah. So they, the three of them run back up and, you know, what's his face? T.C. Carter's character here. T.C. Carson, excuse me. Eugene is the character's name. That's what I was trying to look up. So Eugene runs back in and he's repeating what he says on the way out, which is like, I'm in control of my own life, blah, blah, blah.

but now he has seen this in action and while saying the same thing the tables have turned a little bit and odd choice for this movie in a movie you know where gun play does not exist fuck you for having the black guy just randomly have a gun on him he steals it from the cop

oh does he okay I didn't see that I was incorrect that I didn't see that I didn't see that because I thought he just I thought he just pulled it like out of his jacket and I was like didn't this dude say he was a teacher what the fuck are you doing movie Yeah, but he is holding it like sideways for a second And I'm like, let's relax everybody with the sideways thing

So he tries to commit suicide like we said it doesn't work It clicks a bunch of times nothing happens There is a weird like an almost death kind of happens there Because this dude's got like kayaks and spears hung from his fucking ceiling for some reason This dude's apartment is weird I gotta say I don't know what this guy's got going on You're bringing all of these people to your apartment to have a meeting about how death itself may be killing these people in weird ways

and you leave out this spear collection that you've got hanging on the wall. You see this thing? He got it the apartment used to be an R.E.I. But then he actually took it over and put a bed in there. And he's like, oh, I'll just keep the equipment up. It's nice. Well, I put this bed in my

pup tent that came with the place. They just give you this equipment to stay there? I mean, this is a great apartment. It's a fantastic apartment. And the other weird thing, I don't know what's going on with this guy, but like, At the start of this whole scene at his apartment, like we cut to like interior apartment kitchen countertop.

He slams down like this big bottle of milk. Like, hey, what's going on, guys? I was like, is that what you're offering your guests? Glasses of milk? That's a strange choice. I got glasses and milk on a lot of fishing hooks. Who wants what? You know, we kind of didn't mention it.

I kind of mentioned it earlier. Before all this happens, I just want to get this line out. People are going to be upset if we don't mention. in this one line. Okay. They stop at a gas station and some kids are smoking cigarettes at the gas station and people are like

we're in a Final Destination movie. Get the smokes away from the gas. And then they tell the kids to stop smoking and one of the kids says, I'm thinking, you suck in my junk, Bia. Yes. Sucking my junk Bia.

Now that is 2003 in a nutshell. Allie Lardner's like, what are you, some kind of an idiot or something like that's, what do you suck my junk, Biocch? That's that. I mean, it would be great if like, I don't know, the cop killed the kid or something. I don't know, something should happen there. Those kids get in a truck with 12 fucking 311 bumper stickers on it. It's a lot. Yeah, whatever, Biotch, we're going to go come original somewhere else.

What's that a gas explosion? Well, in their defense, they're all mixed up, don't know what to do. true they haven't realized quite yet that amber is the color of their energy that's all the hits i think that's the three big ones really we did them we did them all did it i'm not you will not find a deep cut on the on my three and that 11 knowledge that's for sure did you see them live no i did not thankfully that was you dodged a bullet on that one they may have been at like a music festival that i went to one time i'm trying to think yeah i'm going to see the touch a little more up your alley there pal no but i never like i was

with Cabin, like I listened to the hits but I never put on a record. Oh, I had the record. Oh, yes. I had three of the records. Yeah, no, I never fucked with that shit. I didn't have anything against it. I just never fucked with it. So yeah, the anti-death meeting doesn't go as planned.

But they realize all of the folks here now that are in the hot seat with death were all actually supposed to die because their paths were crossed and blocked by the deaths of the people from the first movie. This is an interesting turn of vents.

We find out like this officer Burke was supposed to be in a gun shootout and die or something, but instead he had to go clean up Sean William Scott's body from the train. Which, you know, here's the thing about that. You are now knee deep in the middle of your own final destination situation here, buddy. Why don't you have a little more respect than what he keeps,

he says this repeatedly. He's like, yeah, I had to scrape up the Hitchcock kid. I'm like, okay. Now, where is his state trooper headquarters located? I mean, because at the start of the movie, presumably, they're driving from White Plains to Daytona. So where would they cross paths with this state trooper? And if the original events of the film were in Long Island. Yeah, right.

Why would he be there? Like, why would he, did he, he worked at the same town of the tragedy in that one specific high school? school and that eventually was work in road detail, like 50 miles north? Look, Eric, it's really important for you to remember that final destination two is a follow-up to another movie. Okay? You might not have figured it out from the title. They have to tell you a little bit, okay?

It's got the two on it there. It's a spooketucular, baby. We are following up other films. You know, if only you could see my face right now, Chris. We're doing this remote right now, but if you could see my face, it would speak volumes. I do love, you don't want to turn up the volume here, Chris. You don't want to turn up this volume. I want to pump it up.

Yeah, I was going to say, you might not want to turn it up, but you definitely want to pump it up. Pump, pump, pump it up. There's a bit of an unwritten rule, I think, in these movies, wherein the death's final, you know, got to get you back thing can never cause the death of a new person, is my guess. But. Oh, so it's got to be like,

one and done. It's always just, it's always, it gets one person. But what death doesn't factor in, which is like ruining people's lives and like really fucking up the timeline because like, uh, business girl is just like talking about like, oh yeah, you know, that's funny. I went to, I was supposed to go to this B&B in Pennsylvania, but actually there was a gas leak and killed everyone there and blah, blah, blah. I was supposed to die there. But then what happened to that those, that poor old couple? Like, you know what I mean? Like their whole fucking lives are ruined for Tony Todd's fucking vengeance. Right. And when you, I'm just having this thought now, but it makes complete sense that

this is what would be sort of drummed up for this movie. Because you know what we're kind of talking about here? In its essence, really, guys, is a butterfly effect. Yeah, that's actually very true. So like all we're doing, writers of the butterfly effect is making a sort of butterfly effect final destination mashup movie. That's true. They've posited. I mean, we, we, posited in that when we did the episode on the Butterfly Effect that the writers were like stoned out of their mind because they're talking about all these stupid

like philosophy, you know time, quantum physics, all this shit and like doing it in the dumbest way possible. It seems like they got off the weed and got on like light beers for this one. Light beers. Because it's very boring

for the most part. Other than the setups of like the actual desk, almost everything else is boring as shit. Yeah, I stop smoking weed and picked up drinking Mickelob Ultra. Look, I like Cors light. Yes, I know. I know it's

only good when it's cold, but I have a refrigerator, okay? So, fuck you. Yeah, you see this little blue mountain there? That means it's ice cold, my friend. Now it's time to tap the Rockies. Oh, wait. Oh, my mountain's going gray. I ain't drinking out of no gray mountain.

I got a chug before it gets to the mountain. I have my film franchise fucking towed to your house. and all you got for me is light beer. What do you offer? The mountains are blue, though. Blue mountains.

I went to gray. Okay, I'll put this in the refrigerator, and tomorrow we'll have a nice flat morning beer. Oh, yeah, dude. A little wake-up juice. Oh, yeah, flat the Rockies. So we have kind of another, like, spectacular sequence here. Because they, I think they realized, like,

Oh, fuck, you know, we got to just make this. We got to keep it like a 90-minute movie. We better kill off a lot of these people quickly in succession. They're driving because the deputy has caused it totally illegally, by the way, caused the pregnant woman to get picked up by the other police, and is it a holding cell? Yeah. Oh, right. And that's what's interesting about it, too, because I feel like I was reading the Wikipedia

after I watched the film, and I believe they misidentified them as working for the same law enforcement agency, but that's a state trooper, and this is a show. Sheriff's Department, dude. I guess they know each other. Surprise, surprise, probably Facebook. Yeah, a couple of private groups, if you know what I'm saying. Yeah, exactly. A couple of Punisher Skull, Abby's talking to each other. Oh, dude. I need you to pick up this immigrant woman. I don't know if she's immigrant. She's just not white. So pick her up. She's driving a white van. Trust me, it's for her own good. It's stolen. Okay. Let's say it's stolen. N. P. Dude. N. N. N. P.

And this is Aaron Douglas of Battlestar fame. Right, the chief. And you want to have a final destination. I'm curious about, because Battlestar Galactica, Andrew, has two cast members, two prime cast members that got wrapped up in the nexium thing. Oh, don't I know it, dude. I haven't watched the vow yet. I kind of really want to, but I haven't dug in yet. I know it's Callie, the woman, the character that he ends up as chief.

Yes. Mary. Grace, Grace Park. Is the other one? Yes. Yeah. Boomer. Boomer is, yeah, Boomer is the character named Grace Park is the actress. That's great. Well, Grace Park is still working, isn't she? Yeah, but she didn't get, Nikki Klein, who played Callie got way deeper in.

And I think Grace Park was just a little bit in. Because I think what happened was, it was like, oh, battle stars over with, what can I do? Oh, what's that Hawaii 5-0? See you later, Nexium. Well, you could only convince Canadians that Albany, is like the chagrilla i totally agree with you but my question is so the recruitment was going heavy on the battle star set did edward james almost ever ever go to a meeting you think which is like i'm not doing that shit no it's exactly that because edward james almost is a dude that could

sniff that shit out all that kooky nonsense a mile away if someone goes up to edward james almost and says anything to the effect of did you ever think how you could further unlock your own potential he kicks them in the fucking dick and walks away. You're looking at the height of my potential asshole. Yeah, totally. You're looking at it. Kick in the dick. I ain't wearing no sash. Look,

motherfucker. I'm friends with Joaquin Phoenix. You think you scare me? Yeah, totally. Get your stupid volleyball out of my fucking face right now. Yeah, I was trying to. Hey, could you sit

on that couch. Why are you always fucking laying down talking to people? Why don't you sit the fuck up and have some respect for your audience? You weird chipmunk looking motherfucker. We're talking about Keith. Keith Reneery, yeah. Speaking of people,

you want to kick in the dick, dude. What's he up to? I don't know, no spoilers. I intentionally, well, one, I realized I forgot what happened in the court case, but then I was like, I'm not going to look it up because I don't want this true life event spoiled. Yeah, I'm kind of there too. I think I know, I think I do know what's happening, but I won't say.

So whatever. So she's, while she's in being held against illegally, she goes into labor and the chief has to like nebishly drive her to the hospital. But meanwhile, Kimbler is having these visions where, oh, no, the van's going to go into the river and that's going to cause a big problem. Blah, blah, blah. Chief while she's in this holding cell and saying my water broken all is, is aiming a gun directly. at her? Like the whole time. And I'm just like, is this setting up something? Or you're just doing this as a goof? And you just don't know what to, because it's not like they focus on it as a tent like a tense thing. Well, isn't that just you know, regular old procedure? I guess that's true. It's to aim it at the belly,

specifically. Make sure it's lined up and you can get a shot. When you're dealing with a pregnant woman, you just got to make sure for your own protection to aim it right at her uterus. Right. Because if that baby comes out and that baby's packing heat, man, you'll fucking get dropped by that baby. If you want to play with the big boys like ice, you have to shoot a pregnant woman, okay? That's what you've got to do. The big boys. Oh, this country stinks.

So whatever. Yeah, this is when, yes, half the cast gets picked off here because they're like on the same highway and there's a car, another car accident here. Well, their tire blows out. That's right. And the SUV is, you know, freaking out. And they are, they wind up playing

chicken with the van. that chief is driving here with the woman in it and so they drive off the road on like this farm property and you know he's the chief is like holy shit like those people could be hurt

we got to stop and she's like I said keep driving this is insane like he I guess they radio for an ambulance or do they even yeah he makes a call in and then he fucking peels out and leaves these people injured on the side of the road like first

while like your other sheriff's deputy or whatever was not at the station when you left and now there's no one there because he was like I need the car to take her to the hospital like you could have just had an ambulance take her and you could have remained a cop and maybe responded to this as soon yeah as opposed to like fucking look who's talking nonsense like oh she's pregnant and she's mad at me oh do you think that the two of them fucking get married at the end of this they might they really might it's kind of a meet cute So, like, you know, all that crazy shit happens. There's like a lot, this is where, like, they all almost get killed.

So they all think they've, like, dodged a bullet here. The Cigarillo lady is like, she was the one driving the car. She's pinned in the driver's seat because there's, like, a log that has gone, like, through the door but, like, didn't hit her. It's just, like, pinned her into the seat. Again with the logs, by the way. It's Canada, man. You can't fucking fart without seeing a log. And the dude Eugene has been like hit with some shrapnel or something.

So they think he's got like a collapsed lung. So he's the one that like all these farmers come out like, what's going on there? And they're like, oh, fuck it's all this PVC pipe everywhere. Yeah, I, it's like I think they're supposed to be like redoing like their irrigation system for the crops or something. And there's like gasoline going through it because of some other the news van or that's like that's recording it. like it punctures its gas line and it goes through there exactly and like you're like waiting for the shit to hit the fan because this is final destination two it's the last like 20 minutes of the movie and you're like okay I know what to expect here and then the movie stops dead so

this like rocker emo guy can go up to Kimberly to be like hey so by the list I'm going to die after you or I'm going to die before you and she's like yeah I think so and he's like all right here's the deal. Here's my ID with my address on it. Here are my keys. When I die, if I die, I need you to go to my house and throw out all my paraphernalia

and my porno and anything that will upset my mother. And you know what? This is what I need like kind of play. Because Kimberly survives, spoiler alert. I want this playing over the credits, her just going into his apartment. And the credits are just

going. There's no music at all. And it's just no, no dialogue either just like, and like pulling down these posters and shit. Totally. And there's like, there's like tons of pornography. Oh, absolutely. Fucking destination right there. It's like the end of the conversation.

Yes, that's what I was thinking. Just tossing it all. You know what? Get rid of my, yeah, all the drugs, all the porn, all the, oh, you know what? Just burn my house down. How about that? Just burn it down. Better check for pornography.

inside this drywall he goes there's like listen anything that seems a little bit loose yeah there's that's a false wall that's pornography behind it give a good give a good once over to the floorboards couple of them loose ones yep you guessed it

pornography under the floorboards my backup backup backup pound of horse is behind the toilet under the tile well now that that's done how about some haunting It's a great end to this movie, man. It would be amazing.

Oh, speaking of the toilet, why don't you open up that tank? There's a garbage bag inside the water, and yep, you guessed it. More pornography in there. And you're going to want to bring a power drill to go through the hard drive. You want to really Swiss cheese that dude. If there's a smell in the air, the body must be rotting. So you know what? You're going to pull up the floorboards again, but this time in the master bedroom.

so you know there's an insane thing that happens right here where these firefighters get the jaws of life and you know they're trying to like cut this woman out of the car she smoked this cigarette while pinned inside of a fucking car yep absolutely first of all big problem I'd be like hey ma'am could you pull that out please and it's very important to note here that like another way that this woman dodged it being killed is

a spiky, you know, piece of wood or something. Maybe it's more PVC piping. It looks like piping. It goes through her headrest and like just misses her, the back of her head. So she's like sitting there waiting to be cut out of the car. And the fucking firefighter like starts going at it with this thing. And she's like, whoa, can you do that, you know, gently or whatever? And he's like, fine. I'll just put it on quiet mode.

And jams it back in and sets the air. bag off and knocks this woman's head back into the headrest. Boom. She is impaled with this. You should have cut that fucking plastic pipe first. Yep. Well, this guy's now, he lost his job and is now traumatized

for the rest of his life. Absolutely. He has to live with this every day. I mean, he'll probably fucking, you know, speaking of putting rocks in your pocket. You know, this is set in the United States. He probably got a promotion and a raise. Oh, that could be true. Now he's the fucking fire. Yeah, the fireman do that too. Shit.

and the instant that she fucking drops dead she drops the cigaro it falls into the piping in the irrigation system where all this gasoline from the news van has been you know collecting and it sets up this insane chain reaction well this is one thing that's important before the current chain reaction uh he say emo guy saves a kid this little kid that seems really not non essential uh from getting hit by a car right i think his name is Ryan? Maybe. I think that's what the mother screams at the end. Oh, yeah. Well, this is, this is Noel Fisher. You may remember him from some of them. There are Twilight movies. He voices Michael Angelo in those Michael Bay, TMNT movies. Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada. Is he in the Shameless? Yes, he's the son and shameless. And he, I think I first saw him on that kind of good Eddie Izard show, The Riches. I think he was the son there to me. He would have had to have been pretty young.

Well, no, yeah, I was around this time. So, yeah, it could have been. This kid is actually, he's, um, he's pretty much my age. He's born in 1984. Yeah, he was, yeah, he was on the riches also. Yeah, so he's, yeah, stay tuned for that kid later, exactly. But, um, yeah, this thing, uh, this fence explodes and cuts emo guy in three somehow. It's just the most.

You see, the only way we could keep the cows in is if we put piano wire across the fence. They're scared of the piano wire. It's ridiculous, man. Yeah, they all saw these cows here. All cows that come into my farm, I show him Abe Vagoda's death in the Godfather. They don't fuck around with that piano wire fencing.

I'll tell you that much. I mean, he is split into three pieces. It's ridiculous. You get a little intense. Test times. Yep, totally do, totally do, which is kind of great. It reminded me of there's a scene in that first Resident Evil movie where they're like, oh, look, lasers. And someone gets like totally cut into little cubes. Yeah, that guy gets cubed. And then the guy from Johnny Nemonic just gets slates right in half by the laser wire. Right. Interesting. Yeah, previous episode, Johnny Nemonic. So, yeah, so that dude's dead. And then she.

has another vision where and get ready for this everybody it's dr calargean and we she thinks that this woman is trying to kill the baby that she's delivering she's like i saw a vision of a doctor in a hospital strangling something and yeah i don't know calargean and i was like what a weird name i sure hope they don't say that last name 30 times oh what's that okay okay, it like outdoes the number of times people are saying Bosch and the movie it's a lot. I mean, it is one name that they're repeating a bunch of times, but there are like seven different pronunciations of this name throughout that, like somebody's called their Kalarjian, someone's like Kalarsian. Like someone's like Clarkian.

Well, again, it's kind of a hard name to say and you're yelling it throughout this movie. it's just you should have had something. Johnson. Yelled Johnson throughout the movie. Or hell, Bosch. Fucking, Dr. Bosch. Let's do it. So it's now Alley Larder,

AJ Cook, and the deputy, they're in the hospital. Alley Lard is like, let me go check on T.C. Carson just to make sure he's okay. Meanwhile, he's got some other, he's getting final destination. Like, everything's rolling around in the room and like.

The Reaper is working very slowly for you jean right here i have to say not you know i was like can we speed this up you're not going to make it i'm going to give him cancer that's a good move reaper uh and like yes the the the tubes are coming out of him he's like freaking out and shit and like actually uh it is 2001 now how how do you kids want you want to fly from boston to california oh man anyway go on i mean that's yeah all this is happening while they're like Collargeon, where's Collargeon? Collargeon? The funniest fucking thing is like they catch up to her. She's like, she's been called into Isabella is the name of the pregnant woman. There's a complication going on with the delivery. The cords wrapped around the baby. So they're

like, oh, get Collargeon in here. She's the cord expert, I guess. And they see her. And this deputy is like, oh, hey, Collargeon. And this woman turns around and he's like, police business and slams her up against this wall and then you know Kimberly runs up and you know as it turns out they didn't need her the you know the baby's birth totally fine you know

and they're like wow we fucking did it isn't this so great yay they find Ali Larder and it's like hey we did it she's like but I can't find Eugene and they're like don't worry about that guy it's over with we never have to see him ever again and she's like maybe not

finds him and the whole thing is like Death has been letting some oxygen seep into the room. All of the vents, all the ventilation in his room is stuffed up. The vents closed. The door shuts, all of that. And then the cord on his life support system is sort of like dangling, like, you know, kind of coming out of the wall, but not really. And he don't even know it.

He definitely don't even know it. Neither did she, because Ali Larta goes to open this door. and the plug falls and makes a spark and she and this dude Eugene are fucking incinerated this was an incredible turn for this movie

and the rest of the hospital was like hey what was that never mind back at the business that sounds like something colargean can take care of but I mean like she gets burned up and you like see her flesh burn too yeah it's kind of like Terminator 2

for a second you expect her to like turn to do a robot skeleton and keep going. And then Calargeon comes in with a shotgun. Dun-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d. No, Tony Town's like, I knew it. That's the only way she could survive.

She's a Terminator. Oh, my God. It's ridiculous. And, you know, then for some reason, Kimberly, like, figures it out. She's like, oh, wait a second. I saw this thing with, like, a van was going into the water, but there was bloody hands. Oh, because of that explosion.

like i fell on some glass and now i have bloody hands and then she sees what is how does she realize here i think it's a little bit of uh usual suspecting because there's something she sees on the wall that's like drowning victim given new life yes you know where it's drowning victim lives again or something it's just a bulletin board thing and she's like that'll do it kind of a thing yeah and she's like oh new life i have to die in this dude's like wait what and before he can say anything else she just goes get calargy and i was like no stop it i was like come back to tony it's just like uh you know it just meant uh you know you have to become a born again christian but okay go try to drown in the lake yeah just like change your your ways you know give up sugar

that gives you a new life oh okay all right yeah just stop drinking soda that's all i want i just love that like not only do i have to you know potentially die in this like drowned a minute. I'm going to also take an ambulance and make sure that's off this street. Yeah, I hope you don't need this hospital. And I'll also be inconveniencing this poor Armenian doctor once again, I guess. What'd you say? There's a bunch of electrical equipment in here that's worth thousands. I never mind, just into water. Here we go. There's someone in the back, like someone under the grid. No, please. You do not resuscitate, right? Okay, good.

Oh my God. So yeah, like she goes underwater. This dude like jumps off the dock, you know, goes and grabs her out. And then the next thing is you see what she saw in the vision, which is this Dr. Kalarjian just working on her in the emergency room. She brings her back to life. And, you know, this dude has this line. He goes, thanks to you, we cheated death. And like the sun starts coming out. Yes. And I need Tony Todd. Like, you need to cut to Tony Todd. And it's like he could be back at the mortuary. It's totally fine. sort of looks up and he's like next time gadgets next time foiled again because he is thwarted here and the last scene is just like they're at a barbecue with the with the farmer folks and they're like oh thank you so much for inviting us to this barbecue and i don't know what's going on there man because you know what like the dad's been out of the movie forever

oh right her dad Kimberly's father yeah and this is another problem with not having any of the characters connected in any way whatsoever so now we're just going out to have a barbecue or grilling or whatever with some people we met on the side of the road a while back yeah because it's a year later I think we're done with the ribs I can show you

my piano wire fencing it's next level shit why would you return to this fucking clear point of tragedy like those people should have sold that house all of this stuff they even ask her like how can't really how is summer sick it was great i'm like wasn't great though like aren't you grieving for all the people you just

saw murdered i had a fun summer yeah which is like okay so like yeah i guess the movie sort of started she was going on spring break so we're talking like march or april is when all these horrible things are happening so then it's like so figure the summer's over maybe we're talking like a little pre-labor day bbq sure so you're totally fine after like four months that's it I mean, if I believe I can literally beat death, I'm down a dark path after this. Like, I'm going to jump off a fucking roof and think I'm going to survive after that shit. I don't need to wear a mask. Yeah, exactly.

Well, no, Eric, you would actually still want to wear a mask because you don't want to get anyone else sick because you're not a total asshole. That's true. But then, like, so in the course of this conversation, it's like, oh, yeah, and our stuff. son Jimmy or you know whatever's name is there Brian you know oh Brian you're such a little grill master aren't you so great oh yeah well I had an exciting time

too when all your friends came and died on my front lawn your one buddy there who dad's piano wire fence made short work of he saved my life I almost got hit by a car and they're like wait what and he like

goes back to get some more you know food off the grill and this fucking grill just explodes this kid goes to pieces instantly and in a true like sam ramy peter jackson horror gag the arm of this kid falls on his mother's dinner plate oh i got to tell you it tickled me all the right it was it's a great ending i mean but yeah you're right Andrew why would you go back to this scene of like the grisly murder of two people you knew you know what i mean like that happened like 30 yards away not even yeah exactly like i you know it it sort of reminded me of i finished jury duty a few years back and this guy was made some joke about like we got out of it and it was a whole like

went to trial did the whole thing and it was this guy like we step out of the courthouse and he's like making a joke like so what do you think uh maybe like this time next month we all meet up for drinks and i was like i have a feeling we don't see any of us ever again and walked away. And it was kind of that. It's like, oh, you know what? My buddies were eviscerated on your fucking property, sir. I will never see you again in my life.

I'm sorry we brought death itself to your farm, but you will never hear from me ever again. That's how that works. It absolutely should be. And that's the end of the movie. It's kind of a nice blackout gag, which I did appreciate. I mean, you know, I think from the way we've been talking about it, I'm not entirely sure everybody prediction-wise here.

so I'll just start us up. Would anybody recommend this movie? Steve, we'll start with you. I would. I think this movie's really fun. I think it's at the very least, the opening scene is worth it alone. That is on YouTube.

You can probably skip the rest of the movie if you wanted to. But I do think at least two or three other deaths, including the ending are worth it. I think it's the best of the whole series, honestly. I really do. I think it's bad. The actual screenplay and story are miserable because all they're doing is explaining you

a very thin premise over and over again. But everything else makes up for it. It's a lot of fun. That's me anyway. Eric Siska. Oh, is Steve jumping the gun there? You haven't seen four or five. That's fair.

That's fair. Yeah. I mean, I just went to my letterboxed review for Final Destination Five. And I think I'm, I think I alluded to earlier that there's a, I don't know, like the whole dynamic of like,

can you, you can't get killed for certain things. But I do write that there was a, there's an I'll take your lifespan. and action thriller kind of twist to that movie, which is weird. Interesting. But my rankings, I would recommend this light.

It's a light recommend. I think the kills are good. I think there's not much there otherwise. Not that there's a lot in the other installments of the franchise, but I still think one and three are, I think three is like so bad it's good and it's more fun to watch for me personally, but I think one might be the better film out of those. first three. And then I guess my rankings were back in the day. One, three, five, two, and four. And four is the

bottom of the barrel. Oh, Chris Cab. Yeah, I'd recommend this. I actually, you know, most of the deaths here, I think, work really well. Like, the opening is, of course, the best part. But, like, that kid getting smushed by glass. I mean, if you pause at the right time, they must have built a cake boy to, like, throw the glass on. It looks like... Oh, my poor little cake boy. It looks like it gets actually smushed, which is great. Like, I've just never seen it.

Oh, man. Okay, chefs, what's in your baskets? You've got Doritos, uh, jalapinos, cake boy, and a huge pane of glass. Boy, that's a very hard ingredient, very hard ingredient. Oh, you've got jelly and you, great cake boy. Oh, my God. It's clawingly sweet. I would use the cake boy just to bread the chicken, honestly.

Oh, my God. But yeah, it's a lot of fun. I have seen all of these, and I guess my ranking would be three, one, two, five, four. I still, the third one, having Mary Elizabeth Winstead really, really helps that movie. For sure. She really does anchor it in a way, like, I don't even think Devin Sawa really anchors the first one. it's more of a community movie because you have more stars in it.

Yeah. Yeah, like that's what this is missing to me is like there's no presence from any of these characters really. There's no actors. Other than Tony Todd, of course. Yes. I think the more I think about it,

to me at least, because, you know, to a degree these aren't movies. Like the first movie is a movie, but then after, like, I think what they realize, and you can see it totally.

with the second movie. Like, I think they just realized, like, oh, you know what people just like was the fucking insane deaths? Let's like do more of that and the story is kind of secondary. And I'm kind of with them on that thinking almost. And I've only seen the first three, like I would say.

But I think honestly for me, that ranking is kind of like a three to one. And also with regard to that, I think, you know, one is still the closest. It doesn't walk and talk in the exact same way, but it is still closest to the era of the Kevin Williamson talkie talk stuff a little bit

and by the time we're here and definitely by the time we're in that third movie any pretense of us trying to do anything besides make smush deaths is out the window so I just think like the dumber these movies get the more fun I have

but I did enjoy this movie I would totally recommend it but yeah three to one and I want to say I don't want to wait now until the next time we inevitably do a Final Destination movie. I think I might just watch those other two get it over with finish that franchise.

I've been doing a lot of franchise finishing recently. Like I rewatched Candy Man a couple months ago and I was like, oh shit, I've never seen those sequels. So I went and I did that. So like I might do that with this. But no, how to how to total blast. Do not regret one ridiculous second of this movie. And that, Friends, is the first entry of four weeks

of spook-tukular titles here at We Hate Movies and of course you'll be tacking on the fifth we love movies spook-tucular title and of course if you subscribe to our Patreon you've gotten the Big Daddy Dispatch

you know what all of that is about but if you want to get in the know here at We Hate Movies and get things like the Big Daddy Dispatch and episodes of our side shows such as animation damnation the aforementioned The Nexus which is our Star Trek show

Gleap Glouclery all of these great added bonus things head on over to patreon.com slash we hate movies. We got a lot of rad stuff this month for the AD Steve. What are we talking about this spooktacular month? We're doing a big boy. We're doing the, it's the great pumpkin

Charlie Brown and some of these ADs aren't animation damnations where we hate it. Sometimes it's an WLM animation damnation. I think that's where we're going to be here, but we'll see. Yes, we got that going on and then Eric, what is happening over on the Gleep Gloss? Well, in the Gleepe Gloss.

to kind of tie in with the Mandalorian coming back on October 30th, Devil's Night. Right. We are doing the Death Watch Mandalians. Give some context to that show if you didn't keep up with the Clone Wars, because if you didn't, good job. And, Chris, do you know what our WLM is? Oh, I sure the fuck do. Yeah. It's Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, baby.

Oh, that's a 2. That's a 2 that I love. oh, it's going to be a good time. And I think, you know, do we want to say what these spook-tukular commentary is? Because that's all wrapped up in here. Yeah, well, I'll go for it, dude. Well, it's the Evil Dead Toomintry.

So we're going to be making a sinkable commentary to the great film Evil Dead 2. So a lot of fun. This is sort of like our Christmas here at We Hate Movies. It's the most wonderful time of the year. Indeed. And as always, of course, here in We Hate

Movies, every Tuesday, there is a new Prime episode. So Steve Sadek, what is the next spook-tucular title we'll be talking to? We'll be talking. This is a Roman numeral guy. It's Species 2. And we're inviting Angelica Jade Bastien back to our

fine program. And she's going to do a great job. She's our species expert, I guess. Absolutely. Species expert or come on and talk about whatever she wants like cruel intentions. So we're super hyped to have her back next week to talk about that fine film.

something I've never seen. I've been sort of saving it ever since we did the first one because I was like, you're not going to want to watch that twice. I'm positive I've seen the first one for the second one for all the wrong reasons at some point in my misgottenance.

But I don't remember it at all. There it is. Cabin, have you seen this second movie? Oh yeah. You know who directed it? Peter Medick of the Changeling. Ooh, another friendly Canadian, I think. So that's going to be a lot of fun. So until next week with Species 2 and our good friend Angelica Jade Bastion back on the show.

I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Sadek. Eric Sisko. Chris Gavin. Take it easy. We all go a little mad sometimes. You know, it's Halloween. I guess everyone's a doubt that's not.

I'm going to scare. Sometimes. That is better. That is better. Zombies have entered the building. They're at the door. They're coming in. They're coming in.

It is time to keep your appointment. They're coming to get you, Barbara. We're sick for Foxy-16-1-2-many-now. Now, sit! Don't you blame the movies? Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos. More creative!

More creative! Put the fucking loaves in the bag! That was a hit-gum podcast.