We Hate Movies - S11: Episode 517 - The Firm

Episode Date: November 24, 2020

On this week's episode, the gang preps for Thanksgiving by offering up the final Brimsgiving episode—a bountiful chat all about the ridiculously long, totally engaging, Tom Cruise-starring, John Grisham legal thriller adaptation, The Firm! How close are these senior partners at The Firm to pulling actual Rosemary's Baby type stuff? How horny is Hackman's character supposed to get? And why was everyone dressed so formally to attend that steamboat museum tour? PLUS: The WHM thesis comes together as the guys try to juggle impressions of Gary Busey and Holly Hunter—two of their celebrated celebrity voices that sound exactly the same! The Firm stars Wilford Brimley, Tom Cruise, Gene Hackman, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Hal Holbrook, Terry Kinney, Ed Harris, Holly Hunter, David Strathairn, Gary Busey, Steven Hill, and Jerry Hardin; directed by Sydney Pollack. WHM is donating 100% of our 2020 merch income to causes fighting for racial justice. For more information on how you can pitch in, head over to our website. Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the program, it's kind of like Rosemary's baby, but with a crooked law office. It's the firm. I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Siddak. Eric Siska. Hey, Gloria. And we hate movies. Hello everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies.

Thank you for tuning into what is sadly the final edition of Brimmsgiving we are here to talk about the firm from 1993 directed by the late the great Sidney Pollack Hell yeah You know this was a movie that I really thought I had seen And then when I was watching it realized It was another John Grisham motion picture

Those Grishams can get confusing for you They can yeah Like yeah this The Rainmaker definitely is in this Hackman Hackman is also in the chamber And Runaway Jory actually And Runaway Jury.

Oh my God. I've seen, I saw Runaway Jury in the theater, but I was confusing this movie with the chamber. Okay. Both hackdog performances also. I did not see the chamber. I remember seeing Runaway Jury and not liking it. It's trash. I think that movie's trash.

I remember Pelican Brief because it was a TBS staple. Oh, yeah, Pelican. I've seen that a hundred times. And that's probably my favorite, Grisham. I was going to say, this might be. I actually have never seen. seen the Pelican Brief, but this is probably the best of those movies, although I've not seen the Pelican Brief,

so I can't speak to that. I think the Pelican Brief might be a little bit better. Denzel, Washington, and all. Yeah, I mean, that's also a stackcast because Julia Roberts is in that movie, Sam Shepard's in that movie. John Hurd, Stanley Tucci, and it's directed by Alan J. Pacula.

Oh. Pacula. You say that like Dracula, huh? I've always called him Pacula. I've always said Pacula. I've said Pacula. Like he's in Palookaville, but it's Bacula. Right, exactly.

That's the way of I always heard it. I wonder which one is actually correct. It would be great if it was pacula. Oh, actually, also in that movie, Steve, sorry, our good friend James Seeking himself. Ooh. James Seeking could have fit right in this movie. This is a fucking stacked cast. Like, holy mackerel.

It is outrageous. I mean, the funny thing is obviously, like, we were brought here due to our good friend, Mr. Brimley, being great in it. but I mean Cruz Hackman Hal Holbrook Gene Triplehorn Terry Kinney from Oz

with a haircut that creeps me out the whole runtime fucking Ed Harris Holly Hunter David's straight there and Bucy Stephen Hill

Tobin Bell I mean it's outrageous Jerry Harden from the X-Files At the edge you get like Margo Martindale answering phone calls it's like holy shit dude

that was another wild one that was one that she's not even like in the main part of the cast because it's just an insignificant role. It's a real, like, scroll down for Margo Martin, though. And then you got fucking, uh, uh, what's his face?

Paul Sorvino uncredited in this movie. And then Dean Norris is just a random heavy. Oh, that's right. Yes. I mean, it's crazy how stack this cast is. Joe Viterrelli, who's played every fucking gangster ever. Like, he's in Analyze This Eraser. He's been in everything as like the epitome of Italian gangster guy.

He's just so disgusting looking like it's like him. Like, I'm sorry, like, Paul Sauvina is a really handsome man. He's a big fat dude, but he's a really good looking guy. That Joe Viterrelli is like, holy shit, dude. I don't want to see that guy. He looks like a pile of spaghetti about to fall on the floor. Dude, he looks like he was born smoking. Yeah, exactly.

And that guy, I mean, this will not surprise you. I think he died in like 1999 or something. At the age of like 66 or something like that? Oh, I just looked up 66 in 2004. Okay. He's in casino, right? I think he's a pretty big heavy in casino. I forget. I just remember because that's why I knew it wasn't 99 because he was in analyzed this and it wasn't like in honor of Joe. Yeah, I don't think so.

He plays the casino in casino. Yes. Actually, Steve, it looks like he's not in that. He's in mafia, though. Oh, damn. Okay, I guess I'm mixing. Oh, yeah, this is a different guy that I was thinking of. Quick question. Yeah. No, no, no, go right ahead. My question is to kick this off, where is this on the Brimley scale, or do we do that at the end? I forget how we've been doing this.

And also, do we go from one to ten or one to five? I don't remember anything. I think we were, wait, wait, we were going one to ten. Okay. I think on, I think in Remo Williams, we said it was like a five or something. Yeah, that sounds right. Was that at the top of it at the end? Should we hold this? I think that was at the end.

That's at the end, I don't know that it matters. It doesn't matter. We're here now. Yeah, we are here. now i would give this like a 7.5 because he's he's not in it a ton but like he's the he's the bad guy right like he is literally the he's the heavy ever and honestly like this is a movie you'll be like where is wilfrid brimley in certain scenes like i want more of this dude and he's also like this i feel is as close of a role he ever got to how he behaved himself when he was

howard hugh's bodyguard you know what i mean like yeah i work in security for this law firm god damn what he's just like the fixer yeah the creepy security guy, no real acknowledgement about whether or not he had any ties to the government or like military. Like in my fellow Americans, when he's like, you know, my ex-CIA maneuvers or like whatever he pulls in that

movie. Howard, Howard Hughes, because you know, Sandy's death warrants I got here. That's a make of him made up. He killed someone, right? Oh, for sure. Yeah. I think it's just a thing. Like, maybe he punched somebody

and they fell into a bar table and, like, crack their skull. When Wilfred Brimley was a college student, he punched Houdini in the stomach. I bet you he like caught one of those TWA spies that were fucking roaming around Howard and just like broke him in two. Yeah. I'm going to I'm going to punch that fancy gypsy right in the gut. So I mean, to not lose the threat of where it falls on the Brimley scale, Steve, you said 7.5. I will say 7.6.

Oh. A clean seven. What is that 10th of a point for, Eric? Just to, you know, in case it's, in case someone comes, you know, this show has been turning into a game show from time to time. And I want to make sure that I got it. I could beat Steve in some type of prices right. Absolutely.

I see. Okay. Yeah, I mean, I agree with you guys. It's like right around there. Because the thing is, and it's a 7.5-ish for me, too, I will say. But it's because, like, he is the bad guy of the movie. He is in it quite a bit. But you're right, Steve.

it's not as much as this character needs to be. Especially the stuff with Hackman at the end, I want a scene with him and Hal Holbrook talking about it kind of a thing. We had to let him go. You know what that means. Like, that kind of a thing. Because there's a couple of scenes in this movie

where you get like the intro to some of these inner circle law firm conversations, but you never get the full picture. Well, that's one thing that cut out, one of the bigger things that cut out of the book is there is a lot of Hal Holbrooke. brook talking with brimley uh in the book like that's what you want and they have a very interesting relationship hal holbrook is obsessed with like the pictures they get of tom cruise fucking the lady on

the beach right he's like hal holbrook's character is obsessed with like porn pictures of his colleagues oh really the brimley's character jerking them off or something no like brimble's like okay out i got you a copy of the pictures we got a tom cruise i'm putting them in your special file. You can get him any time in lack. I know, I know, I know you get show horny. You get show horny when we got a new colleague. Also, interesting point. In the book,

he is supposed to have an Uncle Duve accent. He's an ex-New Orleans, like a corrupt police captain from New Orleans. I appreciate Brimley just keeping it local. You know what I mean? Let's not, let's not test ourselves here.

I don't know. I feel like a little breakout, a little bit more Gary Busey energy in this movie might have gone a long way for me. Well, shit, man. I mean, he needs more than fucking three minutes of screen time. That is just such a cock tease in the middle of this movie, man. I couldn't believe it, dude. I was severely

bumming when he's assassinated. And I will say assassinated. Sure. Now I'm just picturing Wilfred Brimley, like shooting arrows at Tom Cruise. Get back here, you little beggar. God damn it. I'm going to

get you with my era. We don't get a beggar in this one. Not that I heard anyway. It sounds here here is my theory right before Tom Cruise literally gets the drop on him he's about to say it because like

he finds Tobin Bell dead on the floor and he's like oh god damn it oh where is that little and then like he whatever he's about to say he doesn't get to finish the sentence because Tom Cruise lands on him I think that's where the beggar was the catchphrase

man you're a little beggar Yeah. But, you know, it takes us a while to get there. Obviously, this is one of the longest movies ever made in human history. Can I say I was doing multiple loads of laundry during this movie. Had lunch, there was a lot of pausing. It took me no joke like four and a half to five hours to watch this movie today. I could not believe it. It's a dad for day. Yes, it is. You must not need to leave the house for anything. Sit in your fucking lazy boy and just watch this movie. And heaven help you if it's on a television broadcast. You've got to cancel the whole weekend. Yeah, I was a little bummed because, I wanted to do this movie, obviously, for the Brim's Giving. I had saw it, like, watch it maybe last year, like, it was just sort of like, oh, you know, we're going to make dinner on a Sunday. Like, what's a good movie that's going to take us to the rest of the night?

We put on the firm, and it was just a little too close between watches for this long of a movie. Yeah, that sucks. So would you finish it on Tuesday? Yes. the last 45 minutes of this I'm like just end you're in the death throws at this point I don't know what you're doing

it's insane and I remember you know the one thing I do know about this movie was last year we had John Grisham come to the Burns and it was one of those things where it's like you know plugging his new book that was out and we just sort of threw it out there like hey whatever like you know adaptation of yours

you like the most will play it and he picked the firm I don't know if it's his favorite but it was the first of his stuff to be adapted I'm pretty sure although this in Pelican Brief came out the same year I think this was the biggest hit too oh yeah well this made like 23

million dollars this is humongous this thing like almost in a week or something yeah but anyway so it was like all right yeah like Grisham wants to do the firm so I went to book it with Paramount and I'm looking at the thing and I was like Jesus Christ you're gonna have these people watch a two and a half hour movie and then

sit through a fucking Q&A okay getting out of here at 10.30 at night I did not stick around for that event. No, thank you. I mean, you better really fucking be invested in Gene Hackman wanting to fuck Gene Triple Horn. You better be really fucking in for it on that one.

He is so delightfully disgusting in this movie. I love every second of him on the screen and not enough Hackman either. You know, like it just I mean, like that's the problem. It's this huge, this huge mass of a cast, which is great. And everybody has cool little stuff to do, but it doesn't really amount to much.

It's Tapa Centrum. You don't get enough of the thing you actually want, like you get so many different small things. You don't actually feel full by any of it. Right. That's true. You should drink two pictures of San Grio while watching this. Absolutely. You got the time, my friend. So this is a little white lawyer that gets plucked from Harvard. The beginning of this movie's hilarious. It's like, Harvard, Harvard. Have you heard of it? Dude, I thought I was watching the wrong movie for a second, because this movie hilariously starts with Tom Cruise playing basketball. Yeah. Get out of here.

And it's also just crazy that he ends up going from Harvard, a criminal organization, to working at the firm, the titular firm, which is also a criminal organization. He actually goes down in terms of criminality. Harvard's the big time. It's true. It's true. Should he have just started, like, teaching or something? Just stay in there. Try to be, go for Dean. Then you're really fucking evil.

And it's this whole opening montage. of him being you know courted by all these law firms and like somebody's like oh you're in the top five percent of your class like no top five actually oh yeah oh yeah i'm the best at law school and like his whole background in this you never fully get i guess they're trying to say it comes from humble beginnings but his apartment is pretty fucking huge yeah totally i mean these are high ceilings i mean his wife is already teaching at jean tripperhorn's like teaching at that point so I get that, I guess, if you're also working Yeah, she's putting you through law school kind of a thing

Yeah, yeah, I mean, I feel like that The apartment almost works But yeah, he's getting quartered by all these different law firms And like the, you know, Harvard one Or, you know, like New York ones and all sorts of stuff And then it's Hal Holbrook And the dude from The X-Files What's his name?

Oh, Jerry, he's the guy who played Deep Throat Yeah, Jerry. Hardin. Yes, Jerry Hardin. And they're like, and, what do you call it? And Terry Kinney, they're all like, they give him this big offer and, you know, they're like kind of playing with him a little bit. There's this one thing is like, Hal Holbrook is so creepy at the beginning half of this movie. And then he disappears because he's just like, I think he's like, well, I'm, Tom Cruise, well, I never get tongue tied.

He's like, how do you get tongue tied? How does your wife tongue tie you? Dude, it was insane, like some of the stuff that this dude is saying, because I kept looking like out the window of wherever, like, the, this meeting was, like, in whatever club or something. And I was like, man, it's kind of crazy that the sun is still up in this scene, because Hal Holbrook, I could have sworn was a vampire in this movie.

Like, some of this, he's like, oh, so do you want to be part of a firm, huh? Yes, tell me how you get tongue-tied. Now, Renfield, I mean, Terry Kinney, why don't you tell him how much she's going to be getting? He's a character

that, Capon, I wanted to ask you about Lamar Quinn, his name. Another great name from Mr. Grisham. Is this a bigger character in the book? Because it seems like it needed to be in both formats, both adaptations.

I only reread the first half and he doesn't show up much. The scenes that are in the movie are the same big scenes there in the book. Okay. That's unfortunate. I mean, because like it seems like it would have been cool to have

like this guy throughout the course of the film, or at least like while the paranoia is ramping up before Tom Cruz's character is fully in it. He sees this guy loses shit. Because like they kind of start leaning that way. Like when the two lawyers

are found dead in like the drowning accident and Terry Kinney is like breaking the news to Tom Cruise, they have that very pointed thing where like he's drinking and smoking outside and he's getting hit by the lawn sprinkler and doesn't seem to notice it. Like that guy should be the guy who tells Tom

cruise some of the shit like you got to look out for these guys man it's not what you think it is and then like he winds up dead at some point he kills himself on screen kind of a thing that's yeah oh yes exactly dude like this this was all for you uh mr mcdeer that's that is honestly what we are missing that a number one is a body count beyond gary abuse exactly well you don't see because you know he takes the job which also like if you're being courted by like the biggest law you know the biggest hot dick fucking lawyer ever since you know anything you know you top five year in class and everyone's thrown all these offers at him he gets the best offer from them but there's this little shit firm from memphis wouldn't you be like i'm going to do any reason

i'm going to ask a friend to be like have you heard of this firm like what is this firm like you know what i mean like yeah like it's too good to be true right because they offer him country club membership a mercedes and a fucking mortgage i also but i also don't know what like how much research are you getting about a law firm in the 80s that yeah that's true and and to be fair in that interview, they played it right because they were like, no, no, no. You got a lawyer your way into finding out how much we're offering you.

And it's this weird thing, because Tom Cruise is just like, oh, I get the lawyer during the interview and he loves it. Oh, yeah. And they're all, like, they're all having this little like lawyer, lawyer like circle jerk, right? Like, oh, he's doing it. Yeah. He's fucking acting like a lawyer

to us. Yeah. Oh, am I in your line of questioning? Ooh. Oh, sustained. Sustained. i'm mr mcdair i must tell you i just overruled in my pants oh ew so whatever he takes the job they relocate uh to memphis

um there is like a uh the the ubiquitous like come meet the family kind of shit right or is this while they're still trying to sell them on it they're still selling them this is like come down see Memphis, get a taste of the city and what's going on here. Right, right, right. And that's where he meets the, I think, Hackman for the

first time, or is that later? It's a little later. Still a little later. But yeah, this is like, they're doing the old, like, whining and dining. Like, yeah, there's a fucking delicious looking rib buffet that I was pretty jealous of. Yes, there was so much rib ribs and cornbread. It looked amazing.

But there are red flags at this little party because someone's like, well, you know, there's no divorced people or bachelor's. that's the firm. Exactly. Exactly. Family is very important to the firm. Yeah, I'll be leaving. Exactly. This is creepy, dude. I want to just go to New York

and just be a regular lawyer and sell my soul there. No, no, no, Mitch, Mitch, don't worry. They clone your wife very early on. And when she dies, they bring her right back. Well, when they say something to it, the firm encourages children.

Yeah, it's like, okay, you cannot be that close to my dick right now. Thank you very much. It's like, oh, okay, the fucking moment Gene Triplehorn gives birth to a child, will you, one, hope that it's a masculine child? And two, are you going to fucking sacrifice it to the devil, dude? Because this is some Rosemary's baby shit. This is what I was talking about.

It could either go devil or, to Chris's point, human cloning. I could definitely see that being on the table. So like a Stefford Wives kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. Ah, how, Holbrook, look, I don't know what you. I think we should take Terry Kinney's kid to Mamie. and if we're going to do it at all I think it should be Terry Kinney's child

all right god damn it now here's the thing you y'all got to stop making clones or your clones because now we got you and then we got a hard working one we got a gay one and we got a real real dumb one that little beggar is one of the dumbest clones I've ever seen

he just wakes up everyone's naked at his house oh hell pay bond hell pay ball it would be a much more interesting movie. It reminds me very much of the devil's advocate, actually. Big time. Yes, dude. There's the meeting

of the devil and law firms I was waiting for. Yeah, exactly. It's all, you know, it's like the bumpkin dude coming from humble beginnings and yeah, it's like they fucking offer them the world. Like you have to be like, hey Jean Treborn, can I talk to you for a second?

So this all seems pretty good, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The ribs were great. Yeah, the view is great. Yeah, yeah. is Hal Holbrook the devil? How many times have you had to give your baby to him? That's just all I want to know. So I think somewhere around here, you find out immediately though Brimley was spying on Tom Cruise and Gene

Triple Home's phone call records. Yes. And he's talking about there's some sort of meeting, one of the meeting of the minds where I think this is him getting the news. that like these two lawyers we never meet are trying to leave because he's like, it's not good, we're gonna have to do something, God damn it.

But like, you don't, you know, know what it is. It's all very behind closed doors and shit. Chicago's got a lot of questions there, hell, Brooke. Oh, yes, yeah, exactly. Chicago's got so many questions. I got to go over there and get a couple of deep dish their pizzas. That's a switch between legal thrillers and action movies.

Is that legal thrillers, Chicago is crime, New York is finance? Yes, that makes sense. And you kind of flip it in the action movies, weirdly? That's about right. Yeah, so, of course he agrees to come work for the firm and everything. They give him this house that looks like it was decorated by some like septuagenarian Martha Stewart looking person. And they're like, don't worry, all the furniture is temporary, I guess, but we've decorated your house.

And it's like, all right, cool. I'm living in my grandmother's basement, it looks like. I mean, this is this temporary. like a temporary couch until you buy your own. I mean, but I guess it would have been nice to send them a message by dragging it into the yard and setting it on fire. Well, because I think the other part of it too, what they're not telling them is like,

yeah, we're doing this nice thing of furnishing your place so we can fuck bugs in all of the couches and chairs and shit. Well, they eventually do. There is kind of a, because this movie is long and it has world building, as we like to say. Right. We eventually see them like stock in their house

with all their new shit as well. Oh, that's true. We do get a little bit of them sort of moving in. Good white people like listening to Harry Connick Jr. on the highway with their nice dog shots. Oh, yeah. Oh, right. They take the old, uh, he,

Tom Cruise twice in like a span of maybe a half an hour in this movie, uh, screams for Gene Triplehorn as if there's a serious emergency. And this is when he notices the car, you know, he's just like, And she like runs out like, oh my God, like there's a dead kid in our driveway or something. And he's like, look at the Mercedes. Could you not?

Absolutely. Abby! Could you put sausage on the pizza, too? Abby! Oh my God, married with children was renewed again. You think it'll go for 11 seasons? Abby! I got my teeth fixed.

It's a little misaligned, but it's the best they could do. I'm not going to be the outsider anymore. Oh, nice. We do, we should bring up that there is, he does do a flip in the first eight minutes of the movie. And it's, you really want to set up that this guy could do flips. It's just the funniest thing I've ever seen. Right, there's like a street performing little kid. And Tom Cruise is, I guess, trying to get in on those tips.

I guess so. I don't know what the motivation for this is because I guess it's just like he's happy to be in Memphis like with his job or something. No, he's showing up the kid. Let me show you how to really do it, kid. Yeah, fuck you little kid. How much more you're making money? He spits in the fucking in the money tray. Yeah, and I mean those flips come to nothing too. It's not like you fucking, you know. They pay off quite well at about an hour and a half. In what capacity? Don't you remember the. hilarious scene where he's back and the kid is doing flips again. Well, yeah, and he walks right by him. And he doesn't want to do the flips anymore because he's sad now because he knows what the world is. That is true. Like he's experienced life a little more and now the flips are just sour to him. He doesn't want to flip anymore. Yeah, I mean, I was waiting this whole he's got to do it like it's going to be a thing where Brimley's going to get to jump on him and he's going to do a flip to get him. That's what I'm talking about. There is a good degree of Tom Cruise

physicality in this movie. There's a lot of his fast running. There is the moment when he's like hanging from the rafters and trying to kick open fucking windows. So I guess it establishes that that is possible, but I could just believe that by looking at Tom Cruise. Yeah, he's in a good shape. I got it. Yep, exactly. He's like 20 something totally fit. He always plays a physical person. So yeah. Cocktail, he's mixing up those drinks. I think he doesn't even a flip in the outsiders too. Like when they're like getting ready to rubble, like, he doesn't flip in that movie I was positive him and Patrick Suisier

it was probably on his resume down there it's like horseback riding flips and people were like I'm going to see these flips maybe he was trying to do flips in the outsider so he'd fall in his face and knock out some of them fucked up teeth I think that's why I'd have to replace them it's the only way

also though that's 100% not him doing those flips in this movie no for sure Oh, don't spoil the magic. Oh, come on, dude. Eric, I got a notice about Santa Claus I need to give you after the show, too. Well, I mean, he famously now does some stunts, right? Oh, well, now he just, it's the only way he can secretly try to commit suicide to get out of Scientology.

One of these motherfucking Mission Impossible movies, the shoot ain't going to open, and he's going to be like, I'm finally free of El Ron and the fucking cult. Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris. Real bullets. I just, I want to, we're going to do it, and it's going to be amazing, and, like, you could shoot it 4K, you could really see the bullet come out, and I'm going to dodge it just for the last second. I've watched The Matrix, like a hundred times, Chris. I've watched The Matrix, and my favorite movie, Remo Williams, The Adventure Begins, both featuring bullet dodging. So I know what I'm doing here. Oh, real knives, too. Yeah, definitely. So he gets to work on his first day very early. The security guard fucking breaks his balls about it.

it which like I don't know security guard mind your own business this dude's like a tad early are we mr. McDere fuck you asshole it's my first day you never want to show up too early to a job interview or your job for the first day until you really get the lay of the land because people don't like it people are just like oh fuck you're here now you're here for another hour like usually on your first day it's like well I've got you got to sit there because I got to fucking get your log in and shit and that's going to take at least two hours I have to disagree I think this is our fat mentality. Got it. I think like actually like people who

do work for a living or by that I mean go to offices. Like I think they like the look of somebody who's there early like first one to punch in, last one to punch out. That's not entirely true. My last office I used to cruise in about 10, 10, 15. They loved

your ass. They loved me. Well, because I didn't know he was secretly like disguising the fact that he's a fucking serial killer and fantasized about murder. murdering them endlessly. But regardless of whether or not that's appropriate, this security guard has no business commenting on when someone gets to work.

That was my point. This is the world building we're talking about. There's little stray things. You never know when it's going to come back because Holly Hunter at some point mentions like, oh, I was like dating or married to this guy who's a truck driver, who's also an Elvis impersonator who dumped me when I turned 20 because I was too old. And then I'm like, okay, weird details, but the guy shows up. He does.

He's like a hero. Elvis, Elvis is the hero of this movie. Yes, Elvis, the pedophile truck driver. Because Elvis, the pedophile truck driver, was in charge of handling what I think is like the most emotionally poignant part of the movie and my favorite character in the movie. A character who I wish had its own movie, which is David Strait Thain, a dude. jailed for killing someone in a bar fight because because he had prior boxing experience.

Yes, it is. I just need to say, David Starthair, a snack, a meal, a buffet. The guy looks so good in this movie. Dude, all you can eat. Holy shit, dude. The jet black hair, I mean, it was incredible. Although it's weird because he is a guy who I would say nine and a half out of ten times is playing like a high status character yeah and i've never

seen him play low status prisoner type character before so that was interesting to see him go this route he fucking nails it because he's david straight there and he's incredible i thought um honestly i was like uh just watching him and uh holly hunter i'm like they had to fuck they they fuck in this like in real life they fucked that that's that's my that's my theory i think you're right dude, because when he delivers that line, like, at the end, like, your crooked mouth is so pretty or, like, whatever it is, I was like, that is a

David to Holly line. Not many, not many people know this. David St. Thurton was actually the fagin to the pussy pussy. God, they ran them all around Hollywood. It is not a Ray to Tammy line, my friends. You know what I mean? It's like, hey, Sidney,

did you call cut yet? Because I'm hard as a rock over here. good night and good luck baby oh yeah indeed hey holly i bend over keep going where's that going where's the bud i was just trying to growl as hard as like good got it there's a great moment here though when uh when tom cruise shows up to the office early there is brimley like in some you know sub office like talking with somebody dude he does a fucking Michael Corleone

closed the door right in Tom Cruz's face, loved it. It's awesome. And again, like Brimley, like, in this movie, like, you think about something like Remo Williams where he's literally sitting down the entire time, doing nothing, and being obviously super disinterested to that movie, but like, here he's got, like, a lot of presence. He's just

very, like, he's menacing. Like, his body is just like fucking freaking me out, man. I mean, it is some real fucking acting right here, dude, I have to say, like, we covered on the WLM episode, him in China Syndrome, where, it's like some great acting like this brim's giving i think more than anything is really shining a light on like he was a dude that was so too good to be in cocoon yes yes i mean it's fine that he got a lot of

you know notice and everything from those movies but like fuck he was great well like that's the the vulnerable grandfather thing wasn't quite his tune for me like i need more of this kind of thing of him being a stern asshole because that's more of what he was i mean again body guard for Howard Hughes. You can't be a lovable grandpa with that. And that's why it didn't work. I saw Wilford Brimley do theater once.

One time when I was a wee lad. This was a taping of a Quaker Oats commercial? No, my friend. This was upstate. What life through yonder window breaks, Goddame. I'd do more of those with you, Steve, but I don't know

no Shakespeare. beer. It's a Wilford Brimbley as Romeo. He's wearing the Open DeCaprio shirt. Oh my God. I would love that. See that beefy nips fucking sticking out, dude, absolutely. No, when I was a wee lad

in upstate New York, he came through doing a production of a Christmas carol. And I realized I don't know if we were doing English accents in this production and shit, I wish I could remember. But he was like a very disinterested Ebenezer Scrooge.

Like it wasn't great. He's just there for the check. Yes. Yeah, exactly right. And they fucking paid him an oatmeal. Oh, gosh. Is that really going to happen? Bring it on. God damn it. I'm ready to go. What day is it? It's Christmas Day. No, it isn't. We're doing the play for Christmas coming up.

Oh, shit. If I'm here, if I'm working on Christmas, My contract is dull and void, it's all I'm saying. God damn it! Is it really Christmas? If it's Christmas, you people owe me quite a bit of money. That's time and a half plus extra. Eleanor's going to kill me. Oh, God damn it.

Wilfred, it was explained in the contract negotiations. We have to do one matinee on Christmas, and your agent agreed to it. God damn him! He's a man who didn't work. on the Lord's birthday. Dude, listen, hey man, that's a holiday. He's got grandkids. So this is where we meet.

Jesus, Avery Toller. And he is so slimy in this movie. Oh, dude. He is like a gross, like, old man that it just lives for sex and it grosses you out every time he talks about it. Absolutely, man. And, like, what a perfect persona, like, for a lawyer, like, just a gross, corrupted lawyer, you know. And so Hackman's like, you know, hey, did you ever have a mentor? Now I'm

your mentor. And you're like, okay. He takes Tom Cruise to lunch. And I got to tell you, I have a big problem with this lunch scene. Oh, why? So he does the, Hackman does the thing of like, the waiter comes up in the restaurant and he's like, oh, and he drinks to start gentlemen. And hackman goes you know it's a frowned upon to drink on company time and so Cruz is like all the nice tea or whatever and then

Hackman being the slimy son of a bitch that he is orders a martini totally great totally fine the next like cut you know to further the scene along you see him drinking this martini guys he's drinking a martini

out of a tumbler and what are we doing in this fancy restaurant. I don't know why they, why didn't they call the police is my question. Thank you. The whole fucking production should have been shut down. Get out of town with this. No fucking self-respecting restaurant serving a martini and a tumbler like that. This is directed by Sidney Pollock. That man knew what a martini should be serving. Thank you. Thank you, Steve. That's exactly right. This is a fucking Sydney Pollock movie out of a book written by John Grisham. Those two dudes know what you put a martini. I will say it is a lunch martini and maybe the restaurant knows Avery Tolland.

or to toll and toll our fucking knights templar ass name or whatever this is fucking kang and codos dude but maybe they're like okay we don't want to signal that this dude is drinking a stiff drink at noon so we'll put it in a smaller glass and now that's an interesting theory dude i hadn't thought of that pretty until just now i'm like why what is what is that's the case yeah well i mean again the world building chris that we even get into the restaurateur angle in this i wish she got more of it honestly because that makes sense it's a place where businessmen and fucking lawyers have their lunch yeah you definitely want to disguise that shit because they're down in a lot of it you know i kind of wish sidney pollock was in this movie i mean not that this

movie needed another white old character actor but you know yeah i just enjoy when he popped up and stuff did he appear in any of the films that he also directed that's a just kind of think now i think he wasn't tootsie but not after it's like what death becomes her eyes wide shut and he's not in random hearts for sure he's in Michael Clayton motherfucker to beat the band cabin cabin he didn't direct death becomes her no but he's in it

I'm saying he's not in anything after but he showed up in like his friends movies like Robert Semeckis directs death becomes her he's going to show up Stan the Kubrick directs eyes wide shut he shows up oh I see what you're saying he's also in the player yep fucking Robert Alvin asks you to show up you show up

I feel like the call, like, you know, the firm went great. You know, everybody made a lot of money. And then Stanley called them up. It's like, you know, I'm going to destroy that Tom Cruise in England, Sydney. Would you like to watch? Yes, yes, I would. Hey, Cabin, if that's the case, then I guess people also show up for Paul Weiland. Yes, the great Paul Weiland.

Who is he? Yeah, you don't know. Dude, he's the director of maid of honor. Sidney Pollack's last acting appearance in 2008. Oh, that's a garage job if I ever fucking heard it. That's like, that's going to cover the funeral.

Yeah. Oh, man. I'm on my way out. That dude, uh, he directed a good chunk of Mr. Bean and black adder, but also directed, I guess potential stay tuned. I've never seen it.

Requested quite a bit Leonard Part 6. Oh, Lord. This motherfucker. I mean, made of honor is, is honestly also a stay-tuned. It's the stupidest movie I've ever seen. Sawed in theaters. I also can't believe that Sidney Pollock has been dead for

12 years. It's a shame. It's a goddamn shame, Steve. You're absolutely right. Yeah, shit. His ghost is almost in high school. Oh, he's getting ready to attend Gravedale High. When you die, it's like Billy Madison. You've got to do it all over again, but in ghost

years out of it. Rock, row, in school forever and ever rock roll head school so aside for yeah aside for being like a lethario we learned about hackman it's his thing what he's really trying to tell tom cruz about is to overbill your clients and you just think it's a bad lawyer joke but it turns out to be the whole fucking movie um yep because like the movie teases you with the mob and all this stuff it's like what if and like you know what also like it's a fucking grisham movie let's get inside a courtroom i want to see a court room i want to see a judge

I want to see somebody object to something. Yeah, dude, I don't know. I mean, I guess it doesn't happen every time. I mean, I guess though, Steve, if you're really itching for it, man, you should runaway jury. That's the whole movie. That's a good point. You're right, though.

Yes, yeah. It is weird that we don't ever see them, like, doing any kind of, like, trial lawyering. Like, it would have been kind of nice just to see, like, how, you know, I don't think. I don't feel, and I don't think you're saying, Steve, that the whole, like, third act of the movie needs to, like, bend or break on a courtroom appearance, just to, like, have it in the movie.

Get some court stuff. We like the courts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, but these are tax lawyers, right? Yeah. Well, they do a lot of shit, though. Because there's the scene where Tom Cruise is, like, it's like his first day, and everyone's dumping, like, binders onto his desk, and it's like, you know, oh, I'm so-and-so, tax law,

um so and so estate law like this firm does it all i guess they're trying to get at like the monday the monday or whatever i don't know if that's a real word but the whole like minutiae of being a lawyer and it's not exciting and and kind of hinges on like the how we got capone and playing that i mean capone's mentioned towards the end because of we're getting these people on just fucking overbilling and that's kind of the end of the movie yeah it really we're getting we're getting them on mail fraud and we're doing we're doing a little bit of they don't say it here but I'm pretty sure what they're

talking about is like Rico's shit that's it's like the sexier the crime the harder it is to prove so we'll get them on mail fraud right I mean and that's kind of the point that Tom Cruise is making at the end of the movie is like you know add up all these little things it creates a big thing and you can

I guess take down all these like mob lawyers so he's like not you know there's a rift between him and Triple Horn almost immediately because he's just working all these long hours studying for the bar he's learning a lot of stuff through binders like you said the amount of binders

this guy has to sift through my god get me a fucking computer and this is interesting too because he hasn't even passed the bar exam yet he's just like I guess like a paralegal or an I guess he calls himself an associate at the start of this I guess he's not a full-fledged lawyer yet and I thought that was an interesting thing

in the start of this movie I guess this proves it's world building we got to go with the ride Well, he's, they're going to pay for, that's the, I would love to see the fucking bill, because I know it's a mess, but like, they're buying him a house. They're buying him a car. They're buying his fucking, eventually his goddamn, uh, a grad school or his, uh, his law school. Uh, oh, they pay off his student loans. His student loans. They're like all that, like, they are sinking so much money into him. I know I would be like, yeah, that's great if I was being given all that. I'd also be like, they're buying my soul. Yeah, exactly. They're buying my soul right now. what's happening right now. Not only, it's even worse than that, Chris, because they are just ripping off the mafia, which you should never do. Ever, no. They're ripping off the mafia, and they're

spreading their money around. Not good. What did the mafia ever do to you? Exactly. Fucking nothing. It's the same thing, dude. It's not only is it not smart, it's immoral. It's wrong. 100%. These are just businessmen protecting their communities. I've

never been so fucking disgusted with characters in a movie. then these lawyers that are ripping off the mafia. I mean, fuck you. We are a pro mafia podcast. If you are a new listener, those are the ground rules. That's kind of it. The ground rules.

It is absolute fucking horseshit, though, that none of these motherfuckers meet an on-screen mafia death. Exactly. Somebody ice picks him at the back of the head kind of thing. How Holbrook's fucking car explodes in the parking lot. also winds up killing off that mouthy security guard. Hey, your tires look a little low. Let me fix you for.

Oh, I know. Yeah, exactly, dude. Sure hope I don't get a bomb in the face while I'm butting into other people's business. The first, in the midst of this, now he has to go to a trip to the Cayman Islands with Hackman to sort of get the land of the Cayman. And again, like, you know immediately this shit's. It's like, oh, yeah, we do stuff in the Caymans all the time. And it's like, okay, this is not great. Yeah, the second you hear the Cayman Islands, man, when you're talking with, like, working at a law firm, get out.

Well, that's, the suggestion is that, like, Tom Cruise has gone through Harvard Law School and hasn't heard a lawyer joke. Like, all the big jokes you make about how corrupt they are are, like, red flags in this goddamn office. And he's like, oh, who whipped a dude, what the fuck, who gives a shit? I'm getting fucking labor G triple horn That will put you at ease It will Yeah absolutely

And they're going down there To meet client sunny caps And what is this guy He's like an he's like an approximation of Jeffrey Epstein meets Mitt Romney Because I think I don't look for sure Mitt Romney definitely has money in the Caymans

I mean all for sure crooks But like I guess the thing that we're supposed to understand though is this guy because we meet Paul Sorvino at the end of the movie this guy has nothing to do with like the Chicago Mafia or anything or does he? I think he's just a

like a businessman that like is trying like most businessmen trying to pay as little taxes as possible which we think is a great idea by the way as a country we love that we love it love it love that shit love that shit we fucking suck off that idea. We just we think it's so smart that no one else is paying

for our fucking roads that we have to pay for it's awesome. Now why wouldn't a school teacher, for instance, I think should pay for an interstate highway system where in a millionaire or billionaire should only pay $750. Well, of course, Eric, because they're better than us. Don't you understand this way?

Come on. They're job creators. They're good people. And like, he's like complaining that he has to pay 5% in taxes. And I mean, like, this movie does have a bit of an edge to it with this stuff. That's what they're trying to talk to you about. They're not saying this is good. But they're showing you this guy is like,

I got to pay 5% taxes. That's can't fucking believe this shit. Yeah. I would have your legs broken, you piece of shit. This dude is the first of like eight acting appearances by Hollywood now deceased super

producer Jerry Weintraub. Oh, well. Who appears in all three Oceans movies as various characters. I remember in the oceans, but I don't remember this, when he came on screen and I was like, he looks familiar.

But I don't know. like yeah i just i'm pulling up his imdb right now i oh man he died in 2015 yeah dude so his ghost is about to enter kindergarten oh my god uh but you know he produced i mean he was producing stuff like right up until the end he produced behind the candelabra in 2013 so i i mean i i agree with your thought your your your thought experiment here but my question would be somebody like mark twain like is this is there like just an old age ghost

home where they all wind up going to? Maybe. I mean, maybe he's teaching the classes. I mean, there's a lot to learn to being a ghost. And I think ghost school, I could see the poster already. We should be copyright, by the way. Go school, yeah, for sure. Okay. Ghost school. Come out with the idea right

here. Right. You die? I think you go to, I mean, this is sort of like Beetlejuice with the recently deceased handbook. Right. Imagine if it's Mark Twain and all your favorite dead people that are like showing you the ropes. And there are... Now, are you signing up for this privilege

to teach at ghost school? Well, I think after a while, once you've like beyond, you've been to beyond Jupiter and the infinity for so many times, you've got knowledge. You're going to impart that on to someone else because... You get ghost-fathered in. Yeah, there you go. Oh, well.

But maybe your energy eventually dissipates and you do have some type of final death. Oh, shit, dude. That just ups the stakes of ghost school. Comes into the third act. So if you're in ghost school and then you decide to, like, move on and go to either heaven or hell, wherever you're destined, right? You leave the ghost purgatory. Are you like a high school dropout?

Well, that's my question. Do you have to go all the way to go? It's like, is Phil Hartman, well, no, I guess Phil Hartman would be in ghost graduate school. Right. Yeah. Yeah. He's going to become a ghost lawyer. Yeah, really working on a, really working on a dissertation, dude, right?

I mean, because he's been gone, what, uh, 20-something years? 20, 21 years. Yeah, so him, Harley and Candy are all hanging out in heaven, having a great time together. Well, like, the thing about the amount of dead people there are, it's staggering. I mean, those are some overcrowded classrooms, dude, you're right. So, like, someone like Chris Farley might be a touring comedian in Ghostland, and he's like playing, he's showing his great physical comedy, chops. Well, it's, it's, I guess it's not completely physical anymore, but you know what I mean.

Right. And he's doing it in front of like, you know, Civil War dead. These clouds are so slow. Am I right? Woo! Yeah. This place sucks. So whatever, man. We're in the Caymans. He's a little bit suspicious of Gene Hackman here. At this point, we should say two lawyers from the firm have been found dead in the Caymans. There was a drowning accident. There's a whole funeral thing. Does not matter. We're in the Cayman's. Well, this is my tattoo that I have, which is never going on a boat with anybody. Just never got a fucking boat.

I wouldn't, I've known you guys for 20 fucking years. I wouldn't get a boat with a single one of you. What about like a ferry where there's witnesses? Yeah, the Staten Island fairy baby. But of course, like, hey, I got a boat who wants in? I'm like, yeah, fucking see you later, dude. I got to tell you, Steve, I'm very impressed that you got that whole tattooed on your knuckles. By the way, I'm into boats.

If any of you guys get a boat. Well, good. The three of us can go out on the boat. boat I just bought. Enjoy it, dude. Enjoy it, you assholes. And then fucking little and Andrew stabs you in the back of the head and no one is a witness because you're on a fucking boat and dolphins can't do affidavits.

Good luck. What the fuck do? What the fuck do I care, dude? I'm going to play football and go school. He's going to be a fucking tight end at G.U. I just imagine Steve on a carnival cruise just screaming like, they're all going to kill me. Well, on a

carnival cruise, he might be right. well yeah oh the air we see there's a lot at carnival cruises it's a sea madness it's 2099 and I'm allowed at a fucking carnival cruise again is that what we're doing you go to the moon that way

you know after the coronavirus you will be thankful to contract the neurovirus so you know Gene Hackman's like hey you did really good with our client today because like Tom Cruise fucking gives it to this dude straight and it works out and the guy agrees So Gene Hackman's like, we're going to celebrate tonight, go get cleaned up and come back to my place in a couple hours.

Tom Cruise instead decides to go investigate the diving company that his co-workers worked with. And this dude who is running the place says, oh yeah, it was crazy how the four of them disappeared. And he's like, what? Four? There were only two. And he's like, no, there were the two guys that definitely died. And then they didn't find the bodies of the other two. a guy who looks like a professional wrestler and another guy with incredibly long, weird, wavy white hair.

So Tom Cruise is now like thinking there's some mischief of foot here. You know, these guys did not die under circumstances that were, you know, accidental. And there's this thing where, like, you know, Tom Cruise is like, now he has to like, there's like a box full of files in Gene Hackman's place. He's like, hey, are we going out or what?

He's like, I'm trying to make myself pretty. As pretty as you. And I'm like, you know what, man, I have a stomach ache, and I am not going to go out because I know, I know where this goes. I know where this goes. Why don't you button your shirt a little bit more, huh? Button button a little bit more. Let me see the chest. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. God, I just, I'm a pretty boy here. Wow, look at your wrecked nipples. Why don't you lick your lips from me, huh? It is so frustrating in this scene, though, because, like, Hackman's in the other room getting all gussied up, and he's like, aren't you? go get yourself a red stripe. Yeah. He puts the accent on the wrong word there. Uh, you know, he's

it's in the fridge or whatever. And then like Gene Hackman for some reason he can't get like keys off a keychain. So he gives Tom Cruise like this entire keychain. Tom Cruise is like, say there's a door with a lock on it over here, opens it up. There's all of these legal file boxes that are like so and so Chicago,

Chicago, Chicago, with the names of this law firm now has four dead lawyers. Yes. In the last, whatever they say, like 10 years something like that. And all the dead lawyers names are on all of these boxes related to whatever Chicago

is. Hey, Avery, where should we put the murder file? The mud room? Is that okay? The mudroom. It is a thing where like these could be anywhere else, right? I don't know. In fire. Put them in fire. Put them next to the beer fridge.

They're in, I mean, they're first of all, way far away from Memphis, Tennessee. I think they think they're good, right? Yeah. It's kind of Hackman is fucking up giving the entire key set over to him. But like Tom Cruise fucking is playing way too fast and loose with like Gene Hackman can walk into that room in any second. And it was driving me. I mean, it means the scene was successful. The tension is successful. It was driving me crazy because I was like, dude, he's like seven feet away from you. Close that door right now. And then he drops a fucking beer on the ground. Come on, man. This is insane because he drops the beer, it breaks.

And then he closes and locks the door with the beer broken and everywhere. And it comes to nothing. And, yeah, Gene Hackman's like, where's your beer? He's like, oh, I didn't want it. It would be great if he had, the door was still open and he's down on his knees trying to clean it up. And then he just like stops and he looks behind him. And it's Gene Hackman looking at him. He's like, party foul.

And then he kills him, of course, right there. And then. Well, he locks him in that closet, right? Yeah, for sure. just fucking locks the door behind him and just lets him starve to death but yeah like this is clearly we're going

for his setup here we've got Gene Hackman Cutter Rug on the dance floor at this hotel resort and there's a lady who's like very hardcore hitting on Tom Cruise and he's like you know what? Nah this isn't going to happen you know and leaves

this woman goes for a walk on the beach sees another woman getting hassled by a dude and like he's his presence kind of scares the dude off. And then Tom Cruise is like, but I will fuck this woman. You see, heroism got me hard. So here we go.

It's really weird to see a woman being potentially sexually assaulted on the beach and then move into like hitting on it. Yeah. Well, the thing is, guys, the woman that he was hitting on at first was a nine. And that's like, mm. But this one's a 10. An honest of goodness 10. So that's, you know, you're allowed to trade up there.

If you're Tom Cruise, you got to go, oh, it's a 10. We find out Brimley and them are the ones orchestrating these women, and it's just like, all right, the 9 didn't work. So, going to the 10, send the 10 into the field. Oh, my God, God, damn. We've never had to go above a 7 before. I can't believe this.

Now, how over, come in here. I got to show you. Here's my prostitute map I got for the Cayman Island strip. I got one with them with Gene Hackman at the bar, one that's going to kind of get ruffed up by a guy near the beach. I got five back at the hotel waiting for them just going around the bar getting drunk and then I got two in the back just in case

I got one of the pocket lots and lost the keys can you believe it I got one in the laundry room she needs changed for a five if you know where that goes yeah there's

there's someone that can't get into their room you know all sorts of little problems little fires for him to put out a front desk lady who just got off her shift That's usually the one that clinches it. Yeah, she's like, oh, you got a light. That's, oh, boy.

You guys just convinced me there should be a John Wick, but for prostitution. Yes. Yeah, I bet you didn't expect my loyal army of prostitutes, goddamn. Well, it is, I mean, like, you have to know you're being set up, because, like, he roughs, he scares this guy away, and then, like, they, like, start to fuck immediately right on the beach. And you have to be, like, wait a minute. is this a trap dude it's insane because like she there's something about like she's got a sprained ankle too and he's like tying off a piece of cloth around it or something yeah you know he's like you know oh she's like oh are you a doctor and he's like no but i uh sprained a lot of ankles of my own

and you're like okay but i mean flips i just feel like in this situation you would expect that guy to come back knock you over the head and then they both take your money like that's how this would that's kind of the best case scenario what you don't understand here is that joan wick can suck a fuck her way out of any situation yeah i'm thinking i'm taking the money off the dresser you know a lot of people keep telling me that i'm horny you know what yeah i think i'm horny getting ready to cam today I'd watch this movie

I'd watch this movie I'd watch this movie I mean the hotel stuff would make a lot more sense yeah it would the coins would still be maybe those would be

Bitcoins possibly yeah it's too bad Boris Leachman she could be the Ian McShane oh

definitely that'd be awesome speaking of John Wick what's his Hallie Berry auditioned for this role of woman

on beach and didn't get it yeah No, I mean, where was Halle Berry in 1993, career-wise? Just sort of starting out,ish. Yeah, okay. Boy Scout? Yeah.

That's about it. That's all over. So that's like a little later, though, right? That's not 93. It's pretty much where she was, like, getting very beautiful women roles. Like, not a lot of meat to them, but like, wow, this is a striking looking woman kind of thing. Right, right, right, right, right. Oh, boomerang, I'm looking at that, you know, that's something.

Oh, yeah. It's like strictly business was around this time? Strictly business, yeah. Jungle fever was 91. Okay. So, yeah, she had definitely been in major motion pictures. For sure. Got it.

Yeah, so he sleeps with this woman. Clearly, there's going to be a setup there. He is made to feel totally bad about all this. So he secretly rents a car and quickly visits his brother Ray. This is David Strait Theron, who's in jail. And I guess, like, what luck, man? He's just, like, in jail across the river in Arkansas, like, or wherever Straythand's jail is supposed to be.

He's like, wow, wouldn't you believe it, older brother? I went to Harvard and you went to jail and we're just across the river from each other. I mean, I guess that's sort of maybe the reason he takes the job is to be closer to him. Oh, interesting. There was mentioned Gene Triplehorn's family

is nearby as well as a reason to take the job. Oh, right. Yeah, she's got like, well, what does she say though? It's a weird like, we'd have to like fly and then I'm driving a little bit or so. I mean, whatever. He uses the mother as a selling point. right now she says in line like like it so if we get into a big fight i won't have to drive too far oh oh

that's what it is gotcha got you oh fight versus flight i see i really need to watch these movies with the subtitles for i am going deaf i'm having my fight or flight moment do i drive to my mother or do i fight tom cruise so cruise like suspects that they're crooks and everything and you cut to jean hackman uh telling like brimley and holbrook uh that cruise like did a great job in the Caymans and he should go to Washington on their jet, yada, yada, yada. Yeah, it is a Washington because it's Gene Hackman, which I love. Yeah, no, absolutely. But so this is where we finally, so Tom Cruise, he's really, really concerned about what's going on.

He's concerned about the four dead lawyers in 10 years. And he also, at this point, is like determined to try to figure out a way to get his brother out of jail. cut to we have Holly Hunter and Gary Busey in this movie Holly Hunter sticks around for the whole time Gare not so much but he is exquisite in the short time he's in this Well Holly Hunter apparently has five has six minutes of total screen time Because she did a lot of scenes but they're really short And is the shortest amount of time anyone was nominated for an Oscar

She was nominated for an Oscar for this early movie Yes but she was nominated for two in the same year So it was kind of like she was having a big moment there yeah she won for the piano this year as well yeah oh well wait a minute though like so they're saying that her role in this movie is longer than judy dench's role in shakespeare in love because i thought that was the record holder i think judy dutch has more screen time technically yes yeah that's that's what they're saying is that right i think so huh i get i mdb you know because these are all like the hunter scenes this other than this first one like they're all kind of cut up like Yeah, but like, isn't Judy Densh literally in like two minutes of that movie? She's in a, she's in a very long stretch at the end. And then like... Right, I remember she doesn't come in the end.

And then when you first see her, she's there for a while. You're in that sequence for a while with her. By the way, I love these fucking perverts that are with like a stopwatch being like, all right, how long is Allie Hunter in this movie? Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. That's the gamblers, 100%. That's the people who are... The ones who really want it.

I googled Judy Dench screen time, Shakespeare, Love, eight minutes. Yeah, she's five minutes, 59 seconds. One of the shortest times. Well, but she did not, she won for the other movie, though. So maybe it is the statistic is that Judy Dench is the Oscar winner. Yes. Gotcha. And then also she's in 20 scenes for an average of 18 seconds per scene.

What, Judy Dench? No, no, no, Holly Hunter. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Remember that one scene, we should go, ah, and then they just cut. it's her just burping after some Chinese food I do we should say also

Ed Harris has made his point known in this point already he's already kind of harassed Tom Cruz like hey a lot of dead lawyers at your firm and he looks like

a fucking a daddy warbucks from hell is basically it's like it is sleek and terrifying I like it this whole like Hugh ball look

yeah he's very intimidating he is intimidating and it's much better look than his fucking horseshoe bald that he's just done forever I mean he is aggressively bald sure you need him because Paul Calderon is just like the most smooth motherfucker in the world like he just has that voice

this is the dude playing his like pseudo partner yeah the guy he's uh he's in King of New York and he was in Pulpiction that's what I'm thinking he's in red apple he's in yes yes he's the bartender the red apple that's exactly He's also in four rooms. Oh, right.

The man from whatever that sequence is called. I don't remember either. I don't remember. So, yeah, like, Gary Busey is David Strathard's ex-celibate, apparently, and now he's a private detective. And also ex-cop, dude, great detail that they throw in for this Bucie character. I want that movie. How do you wind up in the clink? She's like, yeah, he's right in there.

Yeah, I'm right in there. oh yeah you'll just have to go right this way yeah right this way what can we do for you are we are legion i honestly i was texting you guys this when i was watching and i was like i cannot believe that two people who we have the same dumbass impression for are sharing scenes together in this movie are the we hate movies thesis fucking came together man yeah make no mistake they're the same impression it's the exact same one we've never said otherwise it is great um Because you get, you know, music's like, oh, yeah, if the fans are on, you, you're ready, you're already fucked. And it's like, okay.

And it's like, a lot of dead lawyers. The way he says lawyers is amazing. It's like, lawyers. Like, you say the word law. Yes. And then you just say years after it. Lawyers. The whole thing where he's talking about Holly Hunter's husband, the Elvis guy.

Oh, yeah. And like doing, he's like putting together a cocktail or something while he's doing it. I am just wrapped. I am just like, I will do anything. Busey, just go. Just go, man. They have the heat. You know, there's like silver bullet-ish era. You know, like he's just like he's, oh, no, no, it's like surviving the game era, like crazy Bucy. Well, it is post-accident, right?

Yes. But, well, they also, there's like a good push-in on him while he's doing this. And I forgot John Seal fucking shot this movie. Who? John Seal who shot fucking Mad Max Fury Road. That was that right? Yeah, the maniac, the real maniac did this movie. Oh, that's kind of incredible.

and I think Busey looks great. I love the details of his wardrobe because he's like a little more, I guess Flamboyne is a Little Rock Private Investigator. He's got this multicolored shirt, jeans, blazer. So good.

He's looking incredible, dude. He's like, yeah, I'll take the case. I'll look at all this shit for you. He actually has a great line, though, where he's talking about, like, how, like, Stray Thairn isn't, like, faring too well in prison. And Tom Cruise is like, you know, oh, yeah, like his, his parole hearing is coming up, you know, how do you think he's going to do or whatever.

And, you know, Bucie says something about, like, you know, you go in to places like that, you know, with only so much like gumption or whatever. And he just goes, and whatever Ray had, he used up to get this far. And it's a really great way of being like your brother really needs to make this parole, dude, because he's not having a great time in prison. So what do you say? jail break yeah let's go fucking dicky man I got a couple of spoons Andy

get me to the grappling hook alright listen I got an idea I'm gonna fake a heart attack you go in and you grab Holly Hunter I need you to seduce the warden all right I'll do that

I'm foaming at the mouth I'm eating grass you just slip by they're gonna think I'm having a heart attack because when I get in there I'm gonna go oh my God my heart Wow, that sounds like a great job, boss.

Thanks, honey. Let's have sex. Oh, I, E, oh, oh, I, E, oh, dude, fuck me. Wasn't it good for us. Station! We are literally the beast for two backs, baby. But he, uh, he is about to get fucking blown by Holly Hunter.

Yes. And dude, here in Struts, Tobin Bell and Dean Norris. And I just wrote, oh, my God, Tobin Bell's hair and Dean Norris's turtleneck. These two are a pair. So, like, Tobin Bell looks like he just got done fronting some black metal band from Norway. No, dude, he is cosplaying as Rick Flair with his hair cut. It is outrageous. And by the way, if you watch this film to prepare for this episode, next time we go on tour,

This is what my hair is going to look like. That's a good call. Well, he is, his character name is the Nordic Man. No, is that what he's credited as? He's credited as the Nordic Man. Yeah, it's dope. That's fucking dope, man. Is it?

I think it's cool, man. I would watch a Amazon series called the Nordic Man. Oh, hell yeah. He's like killing people in Memphis. I need like a different person playing the Nordic Man, though, dude. What are you talking about? He's like, he's tall and they got the. a blonde wig on him. I mean, I think he's blonde

in real life, but like, this is a wig. And he's just, like, scrawny. Like, if you're telling me it's the Nordic, man, I need some big fucking jacked dude. Dude, you're gonna, you're gonna shove Tobin Bell in a bar, is what you're gonna tell him. You're gonna go up to Tobin Bell and shove him, because you, you don't think he's tough. I would

definitely shove Tobin. Oh, no. Tobin Bell would take you apart like a flashlight. Dude, I think you guys are just a little too intimidated by Mr. Jigsaw. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I would set up a series of traps that would shove Tobin Bell for me.

Sure. Good middle ground, Eric. I like it. Dude, there's that episode of Seinfeld. He's terrifying. Where he's like, where Newman is and Kramer are like yelling at him. You ain't nothing but a piece of crap. Oh, right. The records. Yeah, the record store. He's got that mustache.

Episode, the old man. God, I don't need to know that. What did you say to me? I said, it's a piece of crap. You can get out of my store. So, and like, he's got this stupid accent. He's not doing the jigsaw voice, sadly, but he's like, why are you asking questions about the dead lawyers? And there's this great thing. He's like, who's paying you? And, like, Busey is, like, loading a gun under his desk. And he goes, oh, I'll tell you who's paying me. You want to know who's paying me? His name is Julio Iglesi. Which is just like, ooh,

the delivery. And he starts opening fire and, like, blasts Dean Norris's knees out. dude it's pretty fucking awesome man like dean norris will never walk the same way again and like Tobin bell has been like kind of like slowly shooting busi to death it's like he picks off like an earlobe and then he like shoots him in the shoulder shoots him in the forearm we have no you know uh fatal wounds here and then dean norris is just like nah just blows Buse his heart out of his chest. Meanwhile, Hunter's like, you all be to finish or quit?

I didn't even get started. Oh, now there's blood on my face. If they actually had sex, it would be like a rift in the universe, like Time Cop. They would just turn into a big blob and destroy everything. Gary, lay off the fucking candy box.

I'm you as a small woman. Well, I'm you as a big fat maniac. All excellent. I got to say I love both of them dearly to death. Of course. We're not insulting Holly Hunter. You got the bo-

You got the Oscars. I got the motorcycles. Together we're unstoppable. You got the Oscar nominations. I got an army of imaginary friends. You know Albert Brooks. I know Stephen King. Let's not forget.

Gary Butes, he was nominated for an Oscar for the Buddy Holly Story. Excellent film. Didn't he win or no? No, he did not win. No, he did not. No? It was a tough year, I think. Let me double. Oh, wow. I, gun to my head. I would have told you he won that Academy Award. You'd be dead, sir, because John Voight won. Oh, for what? Coming home, the Vietnam, like, cry baby. Midnight Cowboy, come on. I don't got the ears right. What is it? What a piece of shit that he went for?

It's a Hell Ashby movie. It's called Coming Home. I'm sure it's great. Great. That's great. Yeah, you got the, you got the Cowan Brothers. I got the Ginger Dead Man. So, you know, we-

Julio Iglesias. That's a great way to go out of this world, honestly. If that's your last words out of here, great. His last words were Julio Iglesias. It's better than the Ginger Dead Man. That's actually true. So we cut to D.C. Tom Cruise gets a little note from the FBI.

He meets Ed Harris in a park. And Ed Harris is like, go sit next to that guy on that bench. And it's fucking Adam from goddamn law and order himself. Stephen, the great Stephen Hill, who this is his last film role, by the way. Well, which I, you know,

I saw that on IMDB too. And you know, it's hilarious about that, Steve's like, usually when someone like posts that, it means like the person died, The next year or something, and it was like, this was his last film role in 1993. And he lived well into the 2000.

He died in 2016. His, I mean, his ghost isn't even in preschool yet, guys. Oh, yeah, barely. Preschool ghosts. Tiny-tune ghosts. And so this is where Stephen Hill is like, hey, man, I'm the director of the FBI. This character, not played by Stephen Hill multiple times,

but this character is in other Grisham stuff because someone else plays him in another one of the movies I think but he's the head of the FBI and he's just like you know your law form is the sole representative of the Chicago Mafia isn't he what a what a news break

aren't the Justice Department no it's the FBI well there's the FBI and I think the guy on the bench that he eventually meets is Stephen Hill that's what yeah Stephen Hill yeah I think Stephen Hill is DOJet yeah he's the Justice department. He's like they're, because they're building a case, I think, is the whole idea.

Yes. I would have sworn it was the FBI. I think he says FBI to trip them up later in the movie because it is the Department of Justice, but then like he comes back to throw them off the case because he knows that the firm is watching. It was like, oh, the FBI talked to me as opposed to the Department of Justice. That's how I read that. I might be wrong. Ed Harris and his partner, I think, are FBI and they're working with the DOJ. I don't know how government works, folks. I see. Well, neither do the motherfuckers working in it right now. So that's fine. But yeah, so this is, man, another fucking grade A doofous name, Denton Voils is Stephen Hill. And so Stephen Hill is like, listen, Tom Cruise, we want you to help

out fucking rat on these dudes testify against the mafia. I know you've only been out of college for a month, but we need you to testify against the mafia. And then you're just going to go into witness protection. Like this dude is, Stephen Hill is basically. like, so listen, buddy, you threw your whole life down the toilet in a matter of weeks. Congratulations. It's a spectacular fashion. So they paid for your student loans. You didn't think maybe that's a little too good to be true.

When they bought you a house in a Beamer and the, you know, a clone of your wife, you didn't think maybe this is a little too good to be true. He was like, well, honestly, when they paid off all my debt and everything, I thought they were going to appoint me to the Supreme Court. I had no idea. By the way, it's a Mercedes. Just stopping a tweet. Oh.

Yeah, I got a bunch of fucking gearheads out there, man. Coming to burn down Casa Day cabin. Oh, that'd be amazing. Chris, and picture this. A bunch of cars start doing donuts in front of your house and then burn it down. Chris, what's your address? I want this to happen. What's your address, dude?

That is a 308. Wait, no, no. Steve, no. Tom Cruise does have a great line here. He goes, let me ask you this. Are you out of your fucking money? Yes, it is. Some good, Tom Cruise delivery.

This is like, you know, mature-ish adult crews, you know what I mean? He's not, and, you know, it's great about it. He's not doing a dumb accent, like that far and away bullshit. Like, it's just, he's an actor like. Oh, he's doing what, like an Irish accent? He's doing a tardity tar. Oh, man. I got to go back to that.

I saw that as a kid, and it made an impression on me because I saw the bounty of America displayed. I've never seen it. They're Irish immigrants or something? They get, like, land. They have to, like, race to, like, go in farmstead? prepare yourself for

hardcore sleep with that movie like that it's so boring that fucking movie I mean I've made it 36 years

man I'm not in any fucking rush is that Ron Howard somebody big directed that let me check

I got a yeah it is Ron Howard well I was gonna say well if it's putting you to sleep so

so Ed Harris is like you know one of the things we'll do for you is get your brother out of

prison would you like that would you like your brother to not be in prison anymore

And Tom Cruise is like, well, yes, actually, I would. And this is where he fucking runs into this office. And he's like, guys, the fucking FBI contacted me. And I really appreciate him trying to come at it from like the goody tissues, like instantly loyal to the firm. Like, dude, the fucking feds tried to mess with me. And there's this funny bit where it's, it's Jerry Harden. And they're all in Hal Holbrook's office. Like, what did they say was it?

Well, they said they want me to steal their secret files. And then, like, Gene Hacker was like, well, I think I lost the secret files. I gave him to you. It's like this kind of, like, funny, like, cute old guy thing. Yeah, Hardin's like, oh, I thought I had those secret files last week. They didn't say anything about dead hookers, did they? That didn't come up, did they? Okay.

Good. Kamens didn't come up at all, did they? Great. Fantastic. Capiquitic, good. Good. Now, you might be wearing a wire. Blink hard if the Epstein file came up.

Blink hard. Do they know we're on the flight logs, Mr. Mulder? I don't know how to name her, say her name, but Gislein Maxwell, is she okay? She okay. Oh, the Gis Lane to Gis Lane. You know, so he goes home, and I actually, I thought this sequence was quite great. It's pretty cool. He wants to tell Gene Triplehorn what the score is.

she's like sexily making some dinner he goes in turns up the music and like you know grabs her if they're like gonna dance or kiss or something and you just like you don't hear anything tom cruise says it's all like whispering in her ear and you just get all of jean triple horn's like facial reaction fucking great totally great right here and she's a great actress and i i there's this one line it's not in this scene maybe it's like what they're doing a lot of stuff like he keeps missing dinner and that whole bit and she's like i don't know why don't we just like do what you used to do like order a pizza and I'm like you're just not ordering pizza like I don't know isn't that like a weekly occurrence yeah what the fuck are you doing well because like they they

make a point of like when they're back in Boston and he comes into the apartment to be like oh they made me the offer it's the classic movie and television thing Tom Cruise does right here where you've ordered way too much Chinese food the thing is don't I you know I've been married for 10 years I would never presume to order for my wife at a Chinese restaurant or like overall Like, tell me what you want, because there's a lot of options that I don't know what your mood is. I would never presume to order Chinese for anyone. You got married in 2010? Yeah, what the fuck? Where were we?

I've known my wife for two. Okay. I was just going to let it slide, but I'm glad that they blasted your ass. Yeah, dude, we come. I am here. Me and Chris Cabin, ass blasters, ink. We are waiting. Those two guys are sticklers about wedding days. We are waiting in the wings to blast ass whenever.

Anyone messes up a wedding thing. And if you would like to hire As Blasters Inc. Or As Blasters, LLC, please do contact us. Dirty Deeds, done dirt cheap. Ass Blasters, what do you want? We got one. I love. You know what?

Blaster makes me feel good. Sorry, Steve. No, but I just wouldn't. What I'm going to say is I just wouldn't presume. There's so many options of Chinese. restaurants. You're totally right, dude. I mean, when we ever do like, you know, seamless or

DoorDash or Grub, I know, all those things, you know, um, it's always like, you put in the order that you want and then you hand the phone off. I'm not even going to like ask. It's like you get to independently make that decision. And this goes triple, quadruple, quintuple time

for if you were fucking out in public, ladies and gentlemen, you do not order for a soul besides yourself. Unless the can't communicate with the server, then sure. Or if they're children. You can order you. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You

should not be bringing children to restaurants. That's a fucking rant for another episode. Quick question. I'm in the middle of kidnapping. Ordering Chinese food? I'm in the middle of a kidnapping scheme. I've got the guy tied up and he's gagged. Is it cool if I order for him then? Or what do you think? Well, I think

Steve, that question really comes down to why are you kidnapping this guy in the first place. I would say, like, what are the reasons for the kidnapping? What's your money? I think whatever leftovers you got. He's like, treat him like a dog. Well, I was just going to say, Steve, like, you know, if it was like a, like you also

then plan to murder that person later, then like, yeah, definitely order for them, whatever. If it's like I promise I'm not going to hurt you, I'm just trying to like blackmail someone for money. Got it. Then maybe you give them the option to take a look at the menu. You know what's funny about this whole conversation? There's been

many times where my wife's going to go pick something up and I'm like, yeah, yeah, you know what I like. Wow, you don't like really. Well, you're good for you, man. But you guys are going to make it. Does that just mean add sausage to whatever you're going to get? Yeah, that is code word chorizo.

Oh, man, God bless you, you can still eat chorizo. I love truerrezo. I can't. I can't fuck with that these days, man. I'll tell you what. So yeah, so the not smart move here So we can move on from this scene But like Gene Triple Horn gets this news She's not having it

And she just like runs out of the house And is running down the street He's chasing her and I was like Guys, they're watching you Exactly Let's not be sprinting down the street having an argument You just blew it Sure you guys

Next morning is the coffee machine broze You guys are traded for a race or what Yeah I didn't know we had a couple of night joggers on the staff here, yeah. It's a nice, a quiet street you got there. Good things you didn't run over. But then this is sort of like

really when the fighting back kind of part of the intrigue kicks in because Holly Hunter comes to the law office, you know, because Cruz sort of realizes it's only a matter of time before they connect dead-ass

Gary Busey to his brother, learn that he has a brother who whose existence he is covered up from the law firm. And then they're going to know that Tom Cruise was hiring a private investigator to investigate these dead lawyers. So Holly Hunter comes in pretending she's going to deliver an egg sandwich to him, which was kind of great. And then like they start their relationship of like Holly Hunter wants to help get these motherfuckers because they had Gary Busey murdered. Weird detail here. She brings up that fried egg sandwich and he's like, okay, great.

and then he goes and meets her at the exact deli the fried egg sandwich is from and eats it there i was expecting him to be stopped hey pal no outside food wow good call dude i didn't even think of it or maybe oh no maybe it's like you know because brimley's up up his ass in here he's like all right what would wilfr brimley do okay he would eat this egg sandwich and then he would go down and go eat a second egg sandwich because the first one was so good great idea you have to become brimley to beat brimley oh fuck dude So that means you have to get some, you know, they're not transition lenses because they're dark all the time.

Like sunglasses that are just light enough that you can wear them inside and it's not a problem. Like Stanley glasses? Yes, that's what Wilford Brimley has in this movie and most movies. It doesn't want to be us. It wants me Brimley. All right. So let's see here. Yeah, he had four lunches yesterday.

And that checks out. Okay. Nothing out of there That seems like a pretty normal guy Four lunches, that's fine The quad lunch, of course Two breakfasts too Yeah, I'm a two breakfast man myself

He eats like a hobbit Well, where's my second breakfast, God damn oot? I don't understand What's wrong with eating three peach cobbler's for dessert Normal behavior That peach cobbler was going to get thrown out anyway Goddamer, you know it Listen, either he's conspired to take down the whole firm, or he's just a normal guy.

One of the other. He's the first one. I can't read him. It's like a blank slate. So speaking of Brimley, we get a really great intimidation scene we should talk about where Brimley and fucking Jigsar, like, let's go for a ride. They take him down to the riverside, and, you know, Brimley's like, so, uh, you know, you you know, I've got to have a little bit of a debrief here about the Cayman's. Yeah, I wouldn't want your young wife to find out about this.

And this is where he shows him. There has been some photographs of Tom Cruise fucking that woman on the beach. And he goes, intimate acts, oral and whatnot. Because it's the thing where he's like, I'm your friend. I don't know. I just want to know what the FBI thinks they might have on you. You think it might be that pretty little little thing you had in the Cayman Islands, which we, and he was like, what, let's just imagine.

The wife is going to the mailbox. She thinks she's picking up her red book. She looks like these things. And to his credit, he immediately cops to it with the wife. So this can't be used as blackmail. Exactly. It's fucking crazy. Because otherwise you'd be saying I got chlamydia from riding a tractor.

Yeah, you're exactly right. I mean, it is like, it's crazy seeing, like, crews have to make this decision. They're in a restaurant. And, like, you can, like, see him making that decision in the moment. The only way to defuse these motherfuckers and make that ammo, you know, totally unusable is if I just cop to it right now. And he's like, hey, Gene Triplehorn, uh, I know we're having dinner in this like kind of not great looking fancy Memphis restaurant. But, uh, yeah, I definitely fuck someone in the Cayman Islands. I love, I love this part because she's like, why did you even tell me?

Because I couldn't live with it. I couldn't live with, uh, you not knowing, you know, just, uh, just. could not stand not too, babe. That is how much I love you. It is not because some fat fucking 60-year-old security guards threatening me with blackmail. Now, this is definitely not that. Now, this isn't going to make sense,

but we're going to order three more dinners. Because he might still be watching. Here's a question, man. Like, they have food on the table when she storms out. If, heaven forbid, you found yourself in that situation of a storm out, a restaurant storm out, right? you're going to like take a dabble on what's on the opposite

side of the table there? Yeah, I think so. Depending what she's got. Look, dude, I'm sleeping alone tonight anyway. My gas situation is my own business. Totally. You might as well be totally fine with getting up three times in the night with diarrhea.

We were going to split apps anyway, so just have a little artichoke dip here. It's kind of great. Like, the scene, there's a scene sort of around here where Brimley is like Look, God damn it I think this guy's gonna fuck us

And Hackman is like You know, but there's nothing To be suspicious about And Brimley, God damn it Like the lines that he has in this movie I think are the most Wilford Brimley soundboard material You could get where he's like

What do you think I am here? A fucking night watchman I get paid to be suspicious When I've got nothing to be suspicious about Fucking rad line God damn it Gene Hackman I'll kill like hundreds of thousands

of people for you the fuck is wrong with you don't you know what I do remember that little village in Albania I killed them all of course you won't be hearing

from Marco from Tripoya from Kwan some time remember all those years working for Texaco when we were that legal counsel you think we just killed two or three people we killed hundreds

hundreds my boy it is weird though because like in that moment i realized something like brimley and hackman for all too brief of a moment i will also say but for this moment they are going like toe to toe and brimley brimley is fucking sticking it to jean fucking hackman right and you realize like with these like older character actor dudes like all it took was like one thing right like Hackman had Bonnie and Clyde and then he kind of just becomes Gene Hackman right and like Brimley

kind of just like keeps going along the way is in great movies and makes these great appearances but never like got to rise to that Hackman level. Yeah. But like they're just as good. But like in that moment you realize they're just as good in that moment but not

I mean like he can't do half of what Gene Hackman does. But you never know those Steve. He never got the chance to and now he's dead. But that doesn't matter because like the point is that jeet hackman is supposed to be a little weak at this point because fucking he might have a couple pictures of like beach sex with tom cruise he has the real deal on hackman oh my god cabin i'm not talking about like character motivation i'm talking about like the skill of two actors and i'm just saying like in that moment i realize like i think anyway

brimley had way more potential than he was allowed to to show on that i'll give you i agree with that but the problem is it's like his his his his his his his his look is so distinct it's like we sometimes talk about like older like heavy actors character actors and how great they are in things and how they seem to be disappearing but jean hackman was trim enough to play way more role i feel like if if wilfrid brimley didn't always have a mustache if he yeah if he lived a healthier lifestyle he could have potentially gotten way more uh acting work i mean i think you're right hollywood is a fucking total shallow place of course but like i don't no man look at jean hackman and bonnie and clide well fucking look at him in the

conversation do i just do my point is he's just a dude you know what i mean like in another world jean hackman played coach on cheers here's the thing is like if jean hackman with all the acting prowess he does have and he's a fantastic i love jean agman one of our greatest living actors he started acting now dude he would be in commercial he would be in commercial and that's it Yeah, well, of course, he's too ugly, man. Exactly. He's no Hemsworth. You know what?

Exactly. You know who are better actors than Gene Hackman? All the Hemsworths. They're so good. Every last one of them. They're so good. According to Holly weird. So I think the whole thing is now we've got Tom Cruise and Holly Hunter engineer this document swap.

Because the idea is Ed Harris wants contracts with the mob, and Tom Cruise is reluctantly doing it. And then he realizes, oh, I can get them for overbilling instead. kind of a thing. Right, because the whole thing is if Tom Cruise just goes along with giving Ed Harris what he wants, the way he wants it, Tom Cruise will then violate attorney-client privilege and then be disbarred. He'll never work anywhere as a lawyer

ever again, yada, yada, yada, yada. And he'll go up against the mob, which he does not want to do either. Right, and absolutely. If he goes against the mob, and great instincts, by the way, never go against the mafia. And if he goes against the mafia, he would have to go into witness protection and that's like not a real life anyway, which is, by

the way, another reason never to turn state's evidence. Yeah, dude, because then you're living in Arizona eating egg noodles and ketchup like a schnuck. Exactly. You don't want to do that. Unless you live in Arizona, I'm sure it's lovely. Maybe that's why Arizona is actually turning a little more purple into

blue electorally is because everyone's in the entire New York mafia is there. Which Arizona is a lovely state. I visited there a while back and it was a great time. So, yeah. Yeah, so this whole thing, he realizes, okay, I'm actually going to get him on this over-billing thing.

I just need to, like, make copies of all of this shit. He realizes that he cannot make photocopies at the office because you have to dial in the code to the account so they know who to bill for, like, this work or whatever. So he realizes they'll get them that way. So this is, he engineers this whole plan with Holly Hunter where they're, like, literally leasing office space and setting up, like, a fake business with a fake phone line and a fax machine. so Holly Hunter can get all this info or whatever and this way Tom Cruise doesn't commit any crimes there's not like he can still preserve his status like as a lawyer and you know get these guys

it is kind of great he's like hey Holly Hunter your old boss Gary Busey that was a private detective does he have any like private detective gear lying around because we get like this little bit of a sequence where it's like the Tom Cruise Holly Hunter detective agency and I kind of loved it. Yes. This is when he goes to the track with Ed Harris. Yes. Oh, yeah. Oh my God. It's kind of great. This whole thing. You know, does the, does the dog ever get the bone, you know? Yeah, he does, but then they can't race him ever again.

I just love that it's dog racing and not horse racing. It's where we're not class enough for horse racing. I mean, I just love that this is like, Ed Harris has been like two scenes we've seen have been like intimidating his shit. And then in this moment, he's just, like doesn't think at all this isn't like oh this is a lawyer who's been thinking about how he might be able to trap me he's like right I'm going to give away the whole game I'm going to

fuck you I'm going to fuck them I'm going to take all your money he's like I got you on tape fuck dude he calls him a chicken shit little Harvard seasucker man oh yeah it's tough he's like I'll knock your teeth out the whole thing spicy stuff yeah and so yeah like Holly Hunter calls

it's fucking actually a really great scene like Ed Harris choose out Tom Cruz and he's like you know oh you want to get that like the phone's ringing and it's holly hunter and uh you know he's like or she says you know is this agent whoever he's like yeah who's this and she's like oh it's agent whoever it is and plays the fucking tape it's such a great fuck you it's amazing and do the rage of ed harris in this moment and you know here's the thing i'd shove tobin bell i am not going anywhere near shoving ed harris absolutely well i'd love that they cut to uh paul

call Daroni, he's like, my name's Paul and it's between you all. Totally, dude. I mean, one time Ed Harris came to the Burns, and I'll tell you, he stood, like, out on a balcony with his, like, you know, a little, you know, a little group of folks there, his handlers and everything. Can you give a speech?

No, no, it was a private balcony. Dude didn't face out into the proletariat. But he was just, like, out there, like, smoking. And I remember, like, walking by, like, leaving my office and, like, heading, you making my way down to the projection booth and just looking and like Ed Harris from 30 feet away

just casually smoking a cigarette and like laughing with his friends or whatever scared the shit out of me. Yeah. And I was just like I don't think I could ever meet Ed Harris. I'd piss my pants. He's a scary dude, dude. He's as intense as it gets. I would have loved to have been somebody who like tried to talk on

the night when they gave Kazan the award. Anybody trying to talk to Ed Harris that night, that must have been a riot. No, yeah. I mean, I don't know that anybody got interviews out of that dude because it was just a lot of like, what the fuck do you think I'm going to say to you right now? Yeah, thank you for bringing up that Ed Harris moment, Chris. Man, Ed Harris fucking rules. He's great. Oh, yeah. I wouldn't even show him because he rules too hard. Ed Harris. And I think also Amy Madigan, his longtime partner, possibly wife, also sitting in that moment, not cheering on that turncoat. Absolutely great.

You just imagine like Stephen Spielberg on the phone like, come on, Ed. You got you come on. on he's elia kizant no all right back up on i'll go i'll send robert i'll send robert you know there's there's a moment in this movie where you get a piece of like the firm's operation i guess probably more specifically like in brimley's department that i wish maybe it's in the book but like could have been expanded moron in this movie but i mean you can't expand anything we're already at two hours and 35 minutes but the dude who's like listening in on the phone calls and the wiretapped house.

Because they do a whole thing where Tom Cruise tells a Gene Triplehorn his plan and then she's like all right, like let's go inside and like do it do it for the audio recording

like do it for the wiretap and like the guy hears everything she's like, I'm going to go to my mother's she's been sick, she's having tests, I'm going to go there. You get this guy who's listening and I don't even think you see his face

but he just picks up a phone and he's like, call DeVasher. She's leaving him. Like I want the dude like in the control room of the firm. Totally. Like the lives of others. Surveillance guy. But I mean... Yes.

Yes, exactly. But I even feel like they're being a little too cute with this. They're talking out on the swing set like the swing set isn't wired for sound. I don't know that. Here's the thing, dude. The movie makes a really bogus move with regard to that and you just reminded me of it because I didn't make a note of it, but you're right.

At the end of that scene when she's like, let's go in and do it for the tapes, they like hold on this swing set and I believe there's even a little bit of like a zoom and I was like oh that's the movie telegraphing that the fucking phone is the swing set is tapped also but that's not I don't think that that's the case no it's just showing you the swing set yeah which is I was like so this swing set must be coming into play again in some way nope all right we're gonna have to swing set him yeah exactly dude we're gonna have to

put them on the old swing set if you get my drift goddamn what I don't I don't know what you're talking about. You know what I mean. The swing set, God damn. What we do is we just wrap the rope around the neck until he does. Why wouldn't we just turn and go? Wait, what we do is take the swing deck and we put it around his neck until he did.

He said, shut up. I'm going to push him really fast, God damn it. Eventually he's going to go over the top bar and he's going to become inside out boy. What we have here is a small pool of acid at the bottom of the slide. And he just goes down and just goes

in there and he's dead. That's easy. Wait a second. Do none of you remember Inside Out Boy? I do not. What's Inside Out Boy? Inside Out Boy was a little short series that they did. I want to say it was on like ABC Saturday morning cartoons. Maybe it was Nickelodeon, but I want to say ABC. I don't remember. But it was and I think also it was Claymation and it was a little short series about a boy who was on a swing set and he went so. high and so fast that he looped around and literally like turned inside out and he was inside out. It sounds like vile anti-swing propaganda. I'll be honest with you. It's a thing that was so

ingrained in my brain that whenever I walk Marty in the park and we walk by the swing every time I see a swing set I fucking think of that thing. Hey, stop swinging so hard. Are you going to be doing that? Are you going to turn inside out or what?

it'll do it I saw it happen look it up inside out boy real thing does not matter but speaking of playgrounds though

jean hackman in the creepiest move of the film oh my god comes to jean triple horn school it's her last day you know

this was reminding me of rushmore yes a little bit oh yeah totally dude it was also reminded me of fucking Halloween when Michael Myers

I mean Gene Hackman has a line here that you should not be allowed to say within two of a playground because he goes up to Gene Triple Horn and he just goes he's like looking at the kids playing and he's like boys and girls together rehearsing for later in life yeah you cannot say that standing outside of playground you fucking we should say that he's aggressively hitting on her the entire movie like there's one from the funeral at the funeral I would I can't imagine he leaves you all alone like that yeah let me introduce myself I'm Avery Toller and my God, your butt just won't quit.

By the way. How there, I'm a monster. I mean, I don't know, man. You trying to get fucking sexy at a funeral. Get out of here. Also, like with your friend's wife, your friend's wife. Yep. It's a final.

I had the dead, too. That makes you feel any better. And also, so you're going to convert on your friend's wife. And your friend is Tom Cruise, and you are Gene Hackman in 1993. Okay. It's outrageous, the hubris of rich white men. Yeah, I guess that's what it is. And he's like, oh, I'm going to go to the Cayman.

There's another ticket in it if you want to in. Yeah, dude, it's fucking crazy. And she's like, yeah, I don't know about that. You know, my mother has tests and everything. He's like, well, if those tests turn out to be negative, bring her along. I'll fuck you and your mother. Yeah, dude, I'm like, what are you plotting here? What is this?

Does you have a dog? I'll fuck the dog, too. Oh my God. Just bring whatever you got. Bring your father. I'll fuck him. Bring your brother. I'll fuck him.

Barnyard animals. Whatever floats your boat. I just want to get close to you. I'll fuck anything in your house. I'll fuck anything that moves. You got a toaster that doesn't work? I'll get it working. Just see the little dick in this toaster.

It's one thing to be like, oh, man, which is totally scumming to be like, shit. That seems like you guys are having trouble. You know, you want to just go up the street to the bar. We'll talk about it. Hey, you want to go on a sex vacation with me? How about that? Let's jump right to sex vacation. The absolute worst part about it is he is like, well, you know, come down to the Cayman's,

I could give you some marriage counseling. And then she's like, yeah, I don't know about that, man. And he's like, okay, that's cool. maybe you could give me some marriage counseling. That would be my favorite thing in the world, is if she does end up going on this vacation with him. If they

went, and then like the first morning they're there, he's just like, okay, he sits down with like a notepad. He's like, let's talk about your marriage. Lay back. Lay back a little. Get comfort. So where did you meet? How does he react to your father? It's very important. I just feel

like you guys aren't communicating here. if you're not um you know it's perfectly fine you know for him to want alone time just as it's perfectly fine for you to have a loan time well it sounds like you're a little scared of being

vulnerable with him is that right man this movie would take an even duller turn uh so whatever it turns into this thing where she finds out that Gene Hackman is planning to not go scuba diving because there's a client coming in So the whole thing, Tom Cruise and Holly Hunter's whole plan was riding on Gene Hackman was going to take like a six hour scuba diving trip.

At that time, Holly Hunter was going to break into the room, take all of these boxes of Chicago Mafia documents, photograph them, you know, all that stuff. Gene Triplehorn has this information because Tom Cruise told her that part of the plan. She's like, oh, fuck, that's not going to happen. Now, I need to be the person who is distracting Gene Hackman because he's not going to scuba. diving so she goes down to the Cayman Islands and I have to say it is quite rad that in this movie with so many fucking dudes big dick and all over the place that you get two women characters that have actual agency and are like helping out like take down the bad guys like I was stunned that this movie allows two women to do this little one it was they instead of just leaving

them as you know romantic interests for yeah see and and Tom Cruise yeah that That's actually a weird thing that's true of a lot of Pollock movies. Like, three days of a condor, like, Faye Dunaway has her own agency completely. That's true. And the interpreter stars Nicole Kidman. Just thinking of two. Also, meanwhile, Davis Frasian gets out of jail. I mean, this is way too much to talk about, but, like, basically, like, they're like, okay, we'll let him out of jail.

But we're going to keep him under wraps for sure. He gives them the slips via Elvis, the pedophile truck driver. I mean, that whole sequence is great. It's a thing where, like, Ed Harris and Mr. Law & Order, Stephen, whatever's name. Stephen Hill. Stephen Hill. They, you know, classic federal agency fuck around. You know, he's like, all right, listen, get him out of jail.

And then you're just going to, like, follow him for a bit. And as soon as Tom Cruise gives us what we need, just re-arrest him and put him back in prison. Tom Cruise has sort of like foreseen all of that engineers this whole thing we don't need to get into it you're right Steve this movie's long enough this episode's gonna be long

but he gets out of jail which is the important he also engineers all that money which is also like a weird thread that I don't know if it's believable yeah I mean he demands he demands a million dollars and then he's like

all right well you know you're fucking around or whatever I'm demanding oh then it's a million and a half so he's like you know I want 1.5 million $750,000 up front, $750,000 up front is the idea. He gets them to wire that to, wouldn't you know it to Cayman Islands bank account. You're right, Eric. I was also a little dubious about this.

I don't know how much the government's throwing out money in that way. We love pissing out money in other ways. But not so much for it. Because that's pretty much like giving a hostage taker, like the ransom of a million five. Who are we bombing? Who are we bombing? Also, why aren't we just killing the dollar? dog. I mean, it's literally between a million and a half dollars and killing the dog and

say, just do it. I don't know why we're arguing here. It is kind of crazy that that dog lives through the whole movie. There's dog who looks exactly like Einstein from back to the future. Was it the same actor? I don't know. The movies are close enough together that it's a realistically a dog could still be alive. Yeah, perhaps. Let's see if I'll keep talking. I'll try to sauce out this dog. It would be a real transformation because I and he has longer hair. well i mean you know you can you trim hair that's what i'm saying it's like he would have to take a whole new style he was dirtier as ione as well he's very well he's just a good actor yeah that's i'm saying it's like i really respect the guy a daniel de lewis type kind of a thing of dog oh

daniel day lewis dog daniel dog lewis i was going to say daniel day dog but it's all great uh yeah they're fucking around the caymans and this is when she has to put the moves on jean Hackman to get him out so that her and Holly Hunter can get the files or whatever. She slips him a Mickey while he's at the buffet which looks like the third time he's in it. Yeah, dude, you

are not wrong. I was like, that's definitely at least not the first time you're going to that buffet, man. And it is like, you sure you don't want any more ham? I was going to yeah. They got a ton of ham and most of it's covered in pineapple. I got two words for you. Gator sausage.

Gator on such in the Cayman Islands. I don't know about that. It's in the book. They do a whole like, it's a Caribbean buffet. I just remember that. Oh, is that right? Oh, interesting. But it was kind of great because I would like to think that like

that is how Gene Hackman looks while attending a wedding that has a buffet. Like he was just so happy in that moment like, yeah, more ham. More ham. Got that ham on there. And he's dancing a lot in this movie, too. Speaking of Gene Hackman at a wedding. I want to see him do a hand, ham like the guy in fucking china syndrome ripping that big piece of ham just comes back to the table

with jean triple horn with a fucking hand ham i would love that man and now again i just i want ham so bad i am guys i am not finding the info on this dog actor played by um a dog named tiger and then in part two and three a dog named freddie they are not credited on the imdb so it's very challenging to track down their other roles. Is there a dog IMDB yet? Not yet. There should be. We've been fighting for it for almost a decade now. Yeah. Right.

I think we had in a previous episode said it would be great to have a full animal IMDB. Absolutely. Keep tracking them ants. So, you know, whatever. She drugs him. They successfully photocopy all these files like over the course of the night. Like, Gene Chriborne is running

these boxes over to Holly Hunter. They're doing the photocopying. She's running them back. And, you know, Hackman wakes up. They know that something's going on here now. They call Hackman that morning, you know, and they're like, hey, someone, some lady friend that you're with, we think fucked you over. She's got, like, your keys and everything.

And, like, Hackman knowing he's fucked over, kind of like, he's just, like, listen, Gene Triplehorn, like. Yeah, they're all fucking scumbags. They're trying to fuck you all over, you know. And she says something like, you know, what did they do to you? And Hackman has this great line where he's like, whatever they did, they did it a while ago. And it's just him being like, I'm fucking dead inside, dude. It's like a Darth Vader redemption arc for him at the end.

It is, dude. It kind of is. And then he's murdered. But in his last act, he was trying to fuck his best friend's wife. I don't know. Yeah, I'm not the coolest dude in the room. I'm not saying he's fucking getting away skis. got free but like it is a he's like you know what fuck it

fuck the firm like he does have a fuck the phone moment and I mean they murder him because you learn off camera that he drowned in the tub okay you know but it's just this great moment it's back to back great moments because he has that line and then it cuts to

brimley getting frustrated with this fax machine because it's out of paper oh man him trying to use a fax machine because he yells at the whole I was like I told him everybody to want the fax machines. You need a paper right here. What? If it's out of paper

again, God damn! Where's the boy? There's a boy who replaces the paper. Where is he? And then it's great because at some point it doesn't matter when earlier in the film of Fax comes through and it's like hey, BTW his brother got out

of jail at this time was not handcuffed, just kind of walked away with some officers or whatever and you have Brimley again another great line. He goes McDeer in yet the goddamn son of a bitch cut a deal and this is when like he kind of gets caught here he's coming in to get one more document because there's so many fucking documents and he's he has to go to Gene Hackman's to get it and he gets it and then they catch him like all right

well come on into the office let's have a chat and this is what he just starts he beats Wilford Brimley he sizes him up and realizes one Achilles heel it's running and yeah he's just immediately he is out is a oh fuck you know he'll never get out of the building i ain't even gonna run i'm gonna jason boy he's this motherfucker this fucking run out of the building is hilarious because he runs down a few flights of stairs and then he like goes to a window in some other dude's office and he's like can i can i can i help you okay take a chair and he throws the chair through the window and so happens that there's a pillow truck delivery the pillow truck is a simpson's joke like come on people it's

cotton though. Yeah. Because one of the clients... I don't cotton or that. Yes. One of the clients is like a cotton mill. Oh, all right. It's right down the street. It's the dude that he goes to. The guy who runs the cotton mill is the dude

who makes him realize that they're fucking everybody over on the bill. Sayer Jean Hackman, why do we pay you in cotton? How about that? Would that do? How about a whole truck? Exactly. Goddam, damn. He's getting away on my free cotton sandwich.

Oh, he ruined the cotton, goddammit. Looks like he's going to take a pretty sweet nap in that cotton truck, God damn it. That's your, that's your cotton. Howell, Brooke. My God, it's the stuff without the blood on it. So this, I mean, leads to, you know, crews running around trying to dodge Brimley, trying to dodge Tobin Bell. He goes to, like, some, like, he's like, all right, I just have to, like, disappear.

for a couple hours. He goes to like some walking tour of a fucking steamship and then like what do you call it? Terry Kinney's wife sees him, she's like, hey, hey, bitch! And then she calls Terry Kinney and she's like, you know, Mitch was just pretty rude to me. I just saw him at

the steamboat museum and he snubbed me. Maybe he knew that he was going to die and he was like, you know, me and Dream Trimblehorn always said we were going to go to that fucking steamboat museum. Every fucking Saturday, we'd wake up, we'd at brunch. You're like, do you want to go to the steamboat museum? And one of us wouldn't want to go.

If I'm going to die today, I want to see what that fucking thing was all about. It's kind of hilarious because did you get a look at the people that are on this walking tour? Everyone is dressed just a little too formally to be on the tour of a steamboat museum. Like everyone,

like Tom Cruise is dressed like he works at a law firm, but like so is everybody else. Like down to the children. It's very bizarre. I was like, is there a dress code for this boring ass walking? There should be at least one Tweety Bird T-shirt

in one of those. Yeah, you're goddamn right, Kevin. You're goddamn right. I mean, you know, the Tweety Bird T-shirts were at the, you know,

the cultural centers, Los Angeles, New York, Tennessee was still like 1955 at this point. So, okay, I'm sorry.

So get them a danger mouse t-shirt. Well, they're just now getting the Tweedy Bird merchant today. Okay. Right.

now. So, you know, Tobin Bell spots Tom Cruise on this tramway thing, the Mud Island monorail or whatever the fuck. And so it thus begins the slowest chase scene

you've ever seen because it's Tom Cruz on this little monorail just like farting along. And Tobin Bell like running across this bridge after him, but like the monorail's going slowly and so is Tobin Bell. Robin Bell out runs a monorail in this movie and it needs attention.

The Nordic Man. This is the Amazon series. This is what I want. Dude, this is like early Jack Reacher. Exactly. There's elevator, escalator shenanigans rather. He fucking, there is a great thing where he sees Dean Norris. Dean Norris, like, kind of comes after him and Tom Cruise kicks him in the knee.

Oh, man, it's great. Dean Norris is limping. Dean Norris needs to be on the IR. You know what I mean? He's going to be right in the desk at the murder factory for a little while. You're totally right, Steve. You need some other hoodlum to come with you, Tobin Bell. Have him manning the sniper rifle.

Mm-hmm. Or maybe he's sniper rifle. He's the wheelman. Exactly. But it is fucking hilarious. I was actually surprised that Tom Cruise even bothered to kick him in the knee. Because all he had to do was like walk a little fast. I mean, Dean Norris is really limping in this scene.

It's hilarious. Like Tom Cruise, cinema's greatest runner, totally outrun this guy. oh man it is just so great so like big chase scene yada yada we get into a building where brimley and tobin bell are you know closing it on tom cruise in this basement and tom cruise sort of goes in this room where he's sort of fucked because he can't really fit out the window tobin bell comes in and in one of the greatest moments of the movie maybe the greatest moment of the movie tobin bell picks up the briefcase that he's seen tom cruise with tom cruise is holding himself up like you know between some He's Mission Impossible in here. The sweat is going to give him away the whole thing. It's great tension. Just seeing the sweat drip. We linger on it

a little bit. There's so much going on. Brimley's coming as well. It's fantastic. It really works nicely. The door that is separating the room from the hallway is a door where there's like frosted glass over it.

So Brimley comes up and just sees the silhouette holding a briefcase and fires through this door and murders Tobin Bell. Maybe you want to check that prescription, pal, because fucking what the silhouette you're looking at is eight feet tall and has John Bon Jovi hair. Like, come on, it's not Tom Cruise in this movie. Brimley killed Jigsaw.

That is my head cannon now. Oh, definitely. Do you want to play a game, Wilfrid? And then, I mean. Oh, all these needles, one of them has insulin in it. you better start stabbing now this isn't a game here jigsaw you tell me what an insulin is you think you're so god damn tough do you jigsaw well how about this god damn it this ain't the first time in my life i'd had a bear trap around my neck

he doesn't want to insulate us through our through our chains he wants us to insulin ourselves through our arm which is how it actually should be actually never mind oh god damn it you think you're so smart putting a bunch of gas coming into this house all right i'll play your game jigs i'm gonna run right through this wall of this house like the fucking kool-aid man god damn right take the soul take the ankle ah oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh dude you're totally right chris if wilfrid brimley was there instead of carry outways saws We're playing a game, all right, goddammit. It's me shoving my stump up, you asshole.

That was the quickest way I lost 10 pounds. Think it's the first time I've lived with only one ankle. 10 pound foot? Well, yeah, maybe. Well, big feet. Yeah, your pig mask wearing some bitch. You don't do the debunk. diabetes I had to do this eventually

anyway. You know what? God damn it, I was in Korea, you motherfucker. It's not the first time I've been elbowed deep in a shit-filled toilet. So then, you know, Tom Cruise, I mean, this is the end of the movie, which is great. Wilfred Brinley, you're right. He was in the Marines from 1953 to

1956, the rank of sergeant. Bet your ass. Bet your ass, God damn. In the Korean War. Yeah, look at that. Pretty nice. Guessed right. Guest right. You know, then Tom Cruise drops down on Wilford Brimley. And in what is personally my favorite part of the movie, Tom Cruise kicks the living shit out of this guy.

Wow, it's great. Wikipedia, because I watched this yesterday, and it's a long movie. So we read the plot synops where we started. It says they beat him to death. And I don't know about that. I mean, he beats him probably within an inch of his life, I would guess. Yeah, I didn't think he was dead in this scene, but it was very nice seeing him getting kicked to shit. He is, and it's so many, you know, it's just like Tom Cruise with like a beanbag on the floor with like glasses on it.

It's like, and he's screaming like, you're sick, son of a bitch. It's just so good. God damn. Is that what he calls him as a six son of a bitch? But he's like barely, like he's kicking so hard. You could barely hear what he's saying. Yeah, it's, it is exquisite. And also, I mean, the thing that really hammers at home, because like, yes, the kicking is great, but he is just beating him with this brief.

Oh, yeah. Oh, definitely. at this oh my god at this point you are just hoping for robert de nero kicks you wish you had robert de nero kicks these are tom cruise speed kicks with a fucking goddam's briefcase coming down on your head yeah you know it's it's uh i'll take it i'll take it it's it's not as hilarious as robert de nero kicks you know but it's hilarious in its own right you know i mean and also in the pantheon of like old guys getting beat up you know it's like fucking what la got good old man beating yeah it's just a it is amazing to watch a you really a man in the prime of his life beat this shit out of an old person it it is really something man and I mean like it's an old guy that deserved it in this sure of course you know uh and who am I thinking of the other one oh we're talking about this uh in a previews it was a jack nickle jack lemon get the shit kicked out of him j of that's just another exquisite beat down so

brimley out of the movie we're kind of like towards the end of it here Tom Cruise literally just decides he's going to rush in and meet with the Chicago Mafia which is Paul Sorvino and the other dude from whatever them there Bruce Willis Mafia movies are

and he's doing this like very Jerry McGuire ask Tom Cruisey monologue of like if I touch your money it's no longer your money and he's like doing this this whole thing about like you know basically that they've been overcharging them and he's not turned he's like please mafia do not kill me you can kill anyone else but don't kill me because

I've got the goods on you and I'm the only one that can keep you safe kind of a thing yeah he does a really good job of like hammering the point home of like hey so I was so concerned as your lawyer about this over billing situation that I've looked through all the files because as your lawyer I'm very concerned at making sure I know everything you know And now I indeed know everything you know and can solve this overbilling problem. But you know what I mean? He really lays it out nicely. It's a great like veiled way to confide in the mafia. Like, listen, I'm not going to take you guys down. I'm not giving anything up about you.

And attorney client privilege will still stand. I just want to sink this law firm. We all, you know, you and me go away from this. It's not a big deal. Let Hal Holbrook and everyone else take the heat. Look, look, send me Hal Holbrook. brook's gallbladder we'll call it even he does have Steve to your Jeremy McGuire reference like a very Jerry McGuire sounding

line I hadn't even thought of it until you said Jerry McGuire but when he's like I am exactly like a ship carrying a cargo that will never reach port you know what I mean and it's just like yep dude like that's the line like that you you managed to charm the mafia

okay you know this dude that Paul Sorvino is never met before but okay and that's the scandal like the mafia signs you know whatever form that he needs them to sign you know Ed Harris gets all the information they have a back and forth

about like you had it all why did you go for this well this way you don't own me the mob doesn't own me nobody owes me right dude did you guys catch during that whole scene like Tom Cruise is trying to like pack his bags and Ed Harris is just you know badgering him it is some of

the worst ADR and I don't know if like they just couldn't decide on how the scene needed to sound or like what dialogue needed to be in there but like so much of this scene is Tom Cruise like clearly talking into a microphone two months later in a room with completely different room tone than the rest of the audio you know and then they just dumped it it's it's really bad I just didn't notice at all because I think at this point in the movie I was like and and checked out I was so checked out at this point, which is also totally understandable. Just a quick thing, spoilers, trivia for this movie,

by the way, on IMDB. That's trivia. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. IMDB is really, really important trivia. At the end of the movie, when Tom Cruise's character, the only spoiler trivia, by the way, for this film. At the end of the movie, when Tom Cruise's character returns to his trashed house to confront the FBI agent, played by

Ed Harris, a Lego set is visible on the floor. This is a 1992 Lego set number 6346 entitled Shuttle Launching Crew. the set is worth when sealed around $500 U.S.D as of 2019. What a

spoiler. Shuttle launching crew? Yeah. Also, Tom Cruz plays a hero in this movie. He's played heroes in many movies. Minority Report. Mission possible one. Mission possible two. Mission of possible three. Mission possible four. Mission possible five. Mr. possible six. Here's

the thing though. Like, yeah, it's dumb, but that's actually a bit of trivia. That's fair. You know what I mean? I mean, it's not like, in this scene, Tom Cruise is driving a car. In real life, Tom Cruise also has a driver's life. Marco Martindale plays a character named Nina. She then again plays a character named Nina in the richest 2007.

That's the best one. Those are my favorite ones. Those are my favorite one is you're so fucking stupid that all you can see is names. That's like all you think about because you're so fucking stupid. I looked up with the shuttle launching crew Lego set looks pretty nice Not bad bye Not for five bills though dude

I don't know about that Got to kick into the Patreon before I can get that one I guess I mean that's true dude Can't be fucking throwing away $500 on Stackable block You can get it used on eBay for $65 As of this recording There's one

Well that's completely different One broken piece though Oh well that's just Fuck Fuck This is what, well, Gene Trubborn, you know, he sends at Harris on his way. Gene Troublehorn comes back. They kind of reconcile here.

She's like, wow, you really saved me. And she's like, yeah, I know. We'll work through this thing. I would be like, isn't the, not the mafia, but isn't the firm's crew of black cats coming to this house any minute now to kill the two of you? Like, that's a great question, dude. This is that's my biggest beef with this whole thing is like you don't see the rest of them go down. Like, where is Holbrook like getting the news? you know like hackman is dead uh uh Tobin bell is dead brimley you know question mark whatever

but like there has to be other people like Brimley's got dudes underneath them even if they all get arrested they have like contacts to kill you all over the all over the country I'm sure yeah yeah well no they took they definitely take a uh kill the leader the rest die thing they kill Brimley so therefore there's no more black hats oh sure um uh cabin I was going to ask you Oh, because, like, that makes me think sometimes writers, you know, obviously will put the same character in other books. Like, did he ever use this character that Tom Cruise plays in other stories? I don't believe so, no. I don't think he...

Because, like, yeah, he's definitely getting killed by these guys at some point, you know. All the main character, I mean, of the ones I am familiar with, at least, they were all different characters. Gotcha, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I used to love reading murder mystery novels by Margaret Truman. She would sometimes use the same. There was like

a couple characters that she had written and like used them in several books. So I was curious if Grisham ever did that with this guy. Because like yeah, Steve, like the heat is still on. I'm sorry. Like you can fucking move back to Boston, which also bad move. They're like, yeah, going back to Boston.

Go anywhere else. Like definitely the two places you cannot live are Boston and Memphis, Tennessee. like that is for certain yeah Grisham was like law Crichton like he just did all these big things that were immediately optioned to be turned into movies as compared to like somebody like James Patterson who was actually doing like that that's like Alex Cross is in every one of those books yeah right oh yeah that's a yeah Alex Cron Thomas Clancy yes apparently at the time when this movie was released Michael Crichton and John Grisham combined for the top six bestsellers of like, you know, at the New York Times, and they each, like they went

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, the two of them. Oh, really? Yeah, fucking lit that shit on fire, baby, with bad books. That is, no, that is a movie I would like. It's the fucking feud between them. Oh, yeah. For the top spot. It's called bad books.

Dude, it's called Andrew takes a hell of a good man. It's like, oh, yeah. They're just at a bar, like, all right, we're going to go home. We're each going to write a book tonight and then whoever because that's what they did these fuckers in the afternoon. Oh, you

think you could ride faster than me Jonathan Grisham? I don't think so. And then Stephen King comes in and he's like, move aside, boys. The killer is Liz. And then Danielle Steele fucking breaks in through the ceiling above

and is like, hang on a second, fellas. I wrote two books this afternoon. Well, today we have written half an episode of Celebrity death match that playmation show from the late 90s on MTV. Oh yeah, I mean it should be like the end of like SummerSlam all the fucking

Michael Shaban should be in there get Zadie Smith these days, get her in there. Now we're All right, now we're being rude. I don't even know those last two that you're talking about. Michael Shabon? You know Michael Shabon. Oh, I thought there was another person before the last person. Oh, who's that? She's

an acclaimed author that never wrote The Firm. I mean, Yeah, Kevin, the through line was like airport novelists. She's pretty big. The last one you put it. I'm not going to argue about it, but yeah. Yeah, you're right. We'll talk off by. Yeah, but so this two hour and 35 minute movie that took me close to five hours to watch today, that's the end of it. Would anybody recommend the firm? We'll start with Steve Sadek Asquire. I will because I would have recommended it last year. I wouldn't have recommended it last night

because it was too close, but I do think this is a godfather of a hangover movie. um it just it's it's it's not really a dad for noon because it's not so daddy it is very like uh it's hangovery because it's just like we're just taking forever to do anything that you watch this man rent a fucking car in this movie and yeah honestly great performances from holly hunter tom cruise and mr wilfer brimley he's excellent in this film absolutely uh chris cabin esquire it's got be a really bad hangover because you can't like want to there has to be no impulse that you're going to enjoy it. Like, you have to be able to, like, you're going to, like, fall asleep for a little bit.

You're going to go to the bathroom and, like, either, you know, shit or vomit at some point. One or the other. Or both at the same time, if you're real lucky. I've done that before, by the way. It's too much movie. They needed to cut fucking 45 minutes out of this at least. I will say, yeah, the acting is top to bottom great. Everybody's bringing their egg game here.

Even fuck poor Hal Holbrook with his. three scenes. Yeah, I mean, I think that's kind of it. I don't think it's Pollock's best movie by any standing, but it's, it's good. Totally, totally. Eric Siska Esquire. I mean, I'm not going to repeat everything the guys have said.

So far, I do agree with them. I do think this is a recommend, but it's like if you got like a sleepy, rainy day and you just want to like tune the fuck out and watch law stuff with Brimley doing crime stuff honestly you could do worse so it is a recommend for me yeah I mean I'd recommend it I think to Chris's point about the hangover movie

the other thing about a hangover movie that I think is like it is a and this movie could be used as a hangover movie I think for sure but it's not a perfect hangover movie just because like what you want in a hangover movie is you know Chris like you said if you're falling asleep or if you have to go up to use the restroom or

whatever and you don't pause it, you want to be able to just wake up or come back to the television or whatever and you can still follow it. I feel like if you lost parts of this movie, it's like, wait a minute, why does he need her to sign that piece of paper? Who's that guy? That's true. You know, like, oh, fuck, that guy's in this movie all of a sudden, you know what I mean? So there's too much at stake, but if you don't care about following it, you know, like if you haven't seen it and you already are listening to this like you know what happens because it does have like it's got a perfect uh sort of like uh threat level for a hangover movie like things get hairy but it's not too crazy it's not like you're watching like a michael bay

movie like the action and the hairiness like is not that you know the score is just this garbage ass piano thing so that's not going to bother anybody well uh so i think you could use it as a hangover movie you just if you haven't seen it already and it's your first go while you're hungover, you might be confused. You do have to give a credit, though. This the, and this movie did amazing. Like, it was the fourth highest of the year, I think, whenever it came

out. This really did make lawyer thrillers in the 90s like the big thing. Well, this movie was released in July. Could you imagine it next to those fucking, look, or do you want to see the Avengers or the firm? You know what I mean? Like, the firm. The firm. Well, yeah,

for sure. But this, you're right, though, Steve. Like, this movie, would be squarely in they might try to do like a holiday season for it now and like maybe garner some awards and it's it's great that uh holly hunter was nominated for a movie that came out in july that doesn't super happen a lot um but yeah or it would be like a nice quiet like late february early march release you know well you go to the movies like right one's just like kind of cold outside we should have like saved this for the summer blockbuster extravaganza I mean, yeah, what an action-packed thing.

I will say a great Sidney Pollock movie, and I was looking through his directorial credit, totally did not know that he directed this. It's based on a screenplay by Paul Schrader. The Yakuza with Robert Mitchum? Did you guys ever see that movie? I haven't. This sounds familiar. What year was that?

So it's 74. It's a movie where Robert Mitchum is like a PI who goes to Japan because like a it's kind of like taken like a buddy's friend gets kidnapped by the Yakuza and Robert Mitcher must go to Japan

to rescue her. Okay I don't think I don't think I'm but it sounds quite enticing. It's a fucking totally solid movie I'll just put it out there for Sidney Pollockheads in the in the crowd. Yeah,

Buckheads! Yeah, woo. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, as a producer. Oh, wait. I was here for Kevin Pollock. I'm leaving.

More of a cod person myself. Oh, there it is. That is the firm from the grand year of 1993 directed by the late great Sidney Pollock. If you would like more We Hate Movies, of course, check out patreon.com slash we hate movies where you can continue the brimsgiving fun. If you have not yet checked out, our We Love Movies episode on the China Syndrome, which is a great, great movie with a lot of fun with that

episode. You know, and then the Brim's Giving Love, you know, it really went out across a lot of the Patreon side shows in a way because Eric over on the Gleap Glossary. We had old What's Her Face? We had Sindal Tawani, the little girl from Ewalks Battle of Endor, which was a fun

retread of episodes we did in 2011 and we talk about, you know, the legacy of those movies and the legacy of this podcast or whatever. Also, that was the Gleap Glossary, but I want to remind folks, we're recapping the Mandalorian. Every single episode, we are turning around

and making a podcast for you that will be out every week, probably by Monday, maybe sooner if you're lucky, but definitely check out the Mandalorian half hour on our page. Oh, yeah, and the Brimley stuff is going all through. In the Nexus, we're doing an episode where that features chairs, which he loved. But you're right. On the animation damnation, we are doing, we did an episode of E-W, walks, the cartoon, because it also kind of ties in with the whole Ewox battle of Andor. Exactly right. And as always here on

We Hate Movies, we're sad to see Brim's Giving go away, but you know what's great. We are heading into what looks like December. It's our December Sweeps Month. Yeah, the Sweeps Month. Exactly. We love a Movies Month. We're bringing it back. And Steve Saneck, it's a fucking stacked month, man, so we can't give it all the way all the way up front. But what are we talking about specifically next Tuesday

here on the free? Just a an oldie but a goodie, citizen cane. That is right. That's right. I'm so excited. I'm fucking pumped. I have to say, I love this movie. Chelsea's never seen it before, so it's going to be a great watch in our house.

And I'm excited that it is going to be now taking the mantle, taking up the mantle of the oldest movie that we will have talked about on the show. replacing The Conqueror, which was episode like 50 something? Yeah, that might be a long-ass time ago. Yeah, that might be in our Patreon archive at this point.

And you might hear us do a little on that episode, since it's around the time. You might hear us do a little Mank Spank. Oh, yeah. We're coming up next after the break, it's Mank. He's kind of a pudgy asshole who's maybe writing screenplays, maybe not. I don't know, it's Mank. Alcoholism. large it's mank and now people are going to think we're doing this because of bank but i had that

on the schedule like a year ago yeah yeah i didn't know bank was coming but you know what i'm happy mank is here double team these you know listen to our episode on citizen kate watch your bank form your own opinions that's exactly right form your own opinions indeed and i want to plug this last thing because it's been many weeks since we have mentioned it on the air but of course we are still donating 100% of all of our merchandise sales from the year 2020 to social justice reform, Black Lives Matter, Black Lives Adjacent groups. So do head over to our merch store and check all that out. The information is on our website, WHMpodcast.com. And getting into December, you know, this is kind of like this is the We Hate Movies Year End Appeal, right?

Yes. Holiday stuff coming up. You want to buy some gifts, maybe some little trinkets, t-shirts, mugs, whatever. any stuff that you buy whatever our take is from that we are giving away so consider that this holiday season when you uh you you draw the person at the office who you fucking hate for the secret santa buy them a we hate moose t-shirt uh but all it's going to go to a great cause so check that out on w hmpodcast dot com and that is it we will see you next week when we are talking it's going to be great about citizen kane until then i'm andrew Stephen sedac

Eric Ziska. Regular lawyer. Take it easy.