We Hate Movies - S11: Episode 518 - Citizen Kane

Episode Date: December 1, 2020

This week on the program, we kick off the 2020 We Love Movies month with a super-sized episode on Orson Welles' monster cinematic achievement, Citizen Kane! How easily do audiences fall for young Kane and his "I love the working man" B.S.? Who sings and dances to their own theme song? And really—paying that much money to die in Florida? PLUS: Does Jim Davis have a Kane-sized Garfield fortune? Citizen Kane stars Joseph Cotton, Dorothy Comingore, Agnes Moorehead, Ruth Warrick, Ray Collins, Everett Sloane, and Orson Welles; produced, co-written and directed by Orson Welles. WHM is donating 100% of our 2020 merch income to causes fighting for racial justice. For more information on how you can pitch in, head over to our website. Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the program, wait, what are we talking about? It's Citizen Kane. I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Sadek. Eric Siska. Chris Cabin. And we love movies. Hello, everyone, welcome to the kickoff of the 2020 We Love Movies Month here on We Hate Movies. We thought, you know, let's kick things off in a really interesting way. Let's do a movie from the fucking 1940s. That nobody's heard of. Nobody's, no, this is a real sleeper, Chris Cap, and thank you for pointing that out. This is a film called Citizen Kane from 1941, directed by the Transformers franchisees, Orson Wells.

Come on. There's a rare one-off for him. Oh, yes, if I had to look back on everything, it was my role as Glucelax in Transformers. Is that his character's name? No, no. I think he's Unicron, I want to say. That sounds right. sure hey let's go with it i'm sure the internet'll fix it if it's wrong i also was very impressed by my performance and i love lucy you went back and watch that i love lucy episode recently didn't you

yes i did and he plays himself and it's magnificent oh as once also myself on a nineteen eighty five episode of moonlighting it's true did you did you see you can watch the intro he did for moonlighting on YouTube and like he did like a two minute like never before in the history of television has there been such a pairing as moonlighting. Get out of town.

He's talking to Bruce Willis? It's like a two minute intro into the episode that he appears on and he's like talking it up like it's the moon landing. That's weird. Which he probably also co-directed. But that is, I mean that is one of the greatest things about Orson Wells

is everything that dude was doing I mean, because he was just such a fucking narcissistic genius maniac that like everything he was working on that day, it was the greatest fucking thing of all time. So like four episodes as Robin Masters on Magnum P.I., greatest television in existence. Well, because in the 70s and 80s, he was just literally dining out on all of his other stuff and didn't give a shit and was just drunk and smoking cigars and doing pee commercials. And talking to fanboys, all these goddamn, like fucking. Oh, Peter Bogdanovich?

Okdanovich and the one who did the book Lunches with Orson Wells, which is like all gossip. Oh, I've never even heard of that thing. It's one of the guys who is in the same box set that had and last picture show are in. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The guy who did a safe place, I think it's called. Oh, okay. I literally thought a safe place was that guy's only movie. It might be, but he did this whole book of interviews. It's John Krasinski, by the way.

oh okay of the office correct yes yes that makes sense uh no now i want to look that up because it's fucking khenry jaglam yes yeah yeah i want to be i'm gonna i'm a little intimidated here because it's only my second time watching it last night f y i what did you think of the mizan sen i thought it was good yeah not bad right good mizan son they have good bison sen in this italian restaurant And I think also it's important, Steve, that I think you're maybe getting it here. Like, we don't want this to be a fucking film school conversation. No. There's a lot to pick through here and have fun with.

But I have three pages on the aspect ratio. Well, fucking T.S. Brother, you can fucking put it in the same paper where you talk about how they carved holes in the stage floor to put the cameras in and all that shit. Like, the tech stuff, you know, is one of the reasons why the movie is remembered as fondly as it is. And rightfully so. I love this movie legitimately. It's definitely not a, what are we doing here? I have to say maybe this will get us, get us off on the right

footing here. It was incredibly disturbing to me watching this movie right now while that fucking orange turd is like refusing to concede this election. Right. It's very, there's so many similarities

because it wasn't Hurst one of those first, America first people in general? it's one of them yeah maybe yeah I find it interesting yeah there's a ton of Trump stuff here literally the the fraud at polls bit literally me and my wife also her second time watching it as well like just turned to each other on the couch like are you kidding did they just put that in this week

you know what I mean like that kind of thing exactly dude my asshole fucking was closed for business but Bogdanovich is still editing it he's putting new pieces in every once in while he found new footage but it's sort of like he's very like it's weird it's interesting that like you know They play with the politics so much that he's like, he's pretty much a liberal, but then Joseph Cotton calls him like a piece of shit later on. Like, you know, what's, he's kind of a Bezosian liberal sort of a thing. Like, all for me, none for you, and enjoy my scraps kind of a situation.

Oh, most definitely. It's like a, look it, I'm, I'm providing you with jobs and I'm giving you this and that. Like, you should love me, you know, as much as I love myself. And it's, I think the moment you're mentioning is when Joseph Cotton's like, hey, man, you're all for like the working people until the working people band together and realize they don't fucking need you and they're more powerful than you are and then you're going to just hate them like you hate everybody else kind of a thing you'll never understand the working class like me a drama critic i i read some of pauline kales one of her i think in 1971 piece

about the film and she actually said that at certain screenings at campus showings people would react so gullibly to Charles Foster Kane, they would actually be cheering him on during his speeches in the movie. Oh, really? I can see that. Yeah, I mean, that is kind of this guy really believes in it. No, he doesn't. Yeah, no, you're totally right. Like, he loves espousing

that stuff. And it is that's funny, because it is like, to me, at least, like so clearly phony baloney. But maybe that's because I've just seen the movie a million times between last night in high school. And I can't, I don't understand like, you know, I don't remember the first time I watched this movie and what I thought about Charles

Foster Kane, the person. I just know that watching it last night, I was like, God damn, this dude fucking stinks. I can't conceive of watching this for the first, like, I can't remember it at all. Like, I'm so familiar. I've read so much about this at this point. I'm just like, it's like an old friend I know. Yeah. I mean, that's why I'm sort of envious of you in a way, Steve. And like, and Jen also and like Chelsea watched it for the first time last night. Like, I would love to come to this movie first time, like, as an adult with an understanding of the world. I feel like my first time was really kind of ruined watching this in, like, the 10th grade. Yeah, probably for homework a little bit, I bet.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. I think I definitely saw this on, like, VHS, or maybe it was a Turner Classic movie, 4 by 3 television broadcast. Yeah, that's how I meant for it to be seen on VHS. The VHS trailer game. No, there is no VHS trailer game. I wish there was, though. Oh, yes. What trailers would we have in 1941?

World War II. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's newsreel footage or it's like a Donald Duck cartoon. Ooh, I'd take that. Like the old, they put that Roger Rabbit short in front of whatever it was there. Was it another Zemeckis movie? We talked about this recently, didn't we? I get, what was the one that was like Back to the Future 2 maybe?

maybe that's what it was Cabin there was definitely it was another Zemeckis movie and there was like a Robert Robert a Roger Rabbit his brother Robert Rabbit Robert Rabbit I sell insurance

yeah you want Roger for the ha ha's I got a fucking wife and kids all right I got 29 kids I'm a fucking rabbit but don't feel bad I get you know I get it all the time it's all right why wouldn't you buy life insurance you could get poisoned or any day. I think I dream

about it every day. You're walking down the street. You get thrown into the dip. Boom. You don't have life insurance. You're fucked as a cartoon. Oh, man. Tointown, I think like a cool world ask citizen cane would be something to explore.

And my wife is also a rabbit. We're going to leave it at that fucking Roger. All right? The envy I have for that cute shoe going in the dip. Oh, my God. to get me away from this hell that is my life. Take me now,

dip. Take me now. I will drink the dip. I will drink it, Judge. Yeah. A drink on a dip on the rocks, please, Judge. You know, another thing I was noticing, and as you can tell, audience, it's really kind of

weird trying to find a place to start with this movie. Like, for a movie also that is famous for destroying any kind of through line narrative and hop hopping around structurally right it's kind of tough to go through it one of the things i was reminded of though and it was actually interesting watching chelsea watch the movie all of these like simpson's references oh yeah all of a sudden are made totally clear man well just a lot of the uh the union forever is on uh what he called there is a white stripe song on uh white blood cells i was like oh that's

Play that scrub. They got sued over that song too. Did they really? It is a fucking fantastic song. And the song in the movie slaps as well. Dude, you've got, here's the thing. And we'll get,

maybe I don't know how we're going to go to this episode. You've got to pretend to be a little embarrassed when your own theme song is playing. That's the, that is absolutely the move 100%. Oh, I can't believe. Oh, are they doing? Oh, God.

I hate, I hate this. You cannot get up. and enjoy it in the reverie. Dude, you got to pretend you don't know the words to that song. First of all, this motherfucker's singing and dancing through it. Like, you can't know the words to your own theme song, Charles Foster Kane. That's embarrassing. I will say something that did slap me that I had forgotten from watching it all these times

is that Charles Foster Kane dies a Floridian. Yes, dude. Wow, yeah. He's a Florida man. He's a Florida king. I don't understand the idea. And apologies to everyone who's listening in Florida. this idea where you accumulate all this wealth at the expense of everybody in your life and all this shit

just to live in Florida I guess you know well one he's really not going out much sure yeah you know so it's not like I'm building this so I can be very close to Disney World yes I want to see Earl's Gator Wrestling Pit it's really it's so you don't have to shovel your driveway but actually I think because it it does work against it because the reason that you would want to live in Florida is that you can go outside with the least amount of clothing and look not insane because of the heat.

That's what I think a lot of people like is like I could go out with like my fucking tidy whitties and like sunglasses and look somewhat normal because the heat is so unbearable. Ah yes, I've cut the throat of everyone I've ever known now that I could live amongst

palmetto bugs. Fantastic. Gaze upon my skid marks. I feel like it's a thing where maybe that was the only place where he could buy up like that much land to build Zanadu or something. Yeah, probably so. I mean, and it's his network of newspapers

is throughout the entire country. So he kind of doesn't have like a real permanent residence. But like Hearst, which was based on, has that giant castle in California. I went to one of our last trips out there. I drove up the Pacific one and stopped off. and it fucking sucks. Really embarrassing.

That's your whole life, dude. Well, dude, thanks for saving me the trip. Yeah, man. I think I used the public restroom, though. Good on you, Charles. It's pretty great, dude. I've never heard a first-person review of a castle before.

Fucking sucked. I don't know. There was a flamingo there. It was kind of cool. I don't know. Flamingos in California, no. I just called William Randolph Hurst, Charles, because it's all the same.

Yeah. I would, I mean, you know, depending on a page, how Patreon goes, if I could build a castle for myself, I'd call it Castle Wolfenstein. It'd be pretty cool. Oh, man, you can't do that though, Steve, because then like everybody who passed by would be like, yeah, Castle Wolfenstein, old man, Sadak up there, that fucking racist. Yeah, I guess that's fair. So are you a Nazi? Are you a, you know. I'm more like the guy that was a prisoner, BJ, that has a knife and I'm wandering around my house. in one in the morning. I love, I also love when he's hanging out with Hitler in the newsreel.

Like I just feel like her, or Kane just needs to be like, listen, listen, everybody liked Hitler back then. Don't, don't know, don't judge a book by its cover. I came out after, once, once Hitler was bad, I was like, hey man, but you know, back when, back when Hitler. Well, that's like what the justification is too in the, I think it's in the, this is in the newsreel part still, and it's like, yes, he had, on the march. Yeah, totally. It's like, yes, he had many powerful friends, some, the opinion of which he changed later.

And then it's just like the cut to Hitler. Hello, Charles. How are you doing? Would you like to have a beer with me? Yes, the ovens are fucking fairly well. I love this shot of fucking Hitler on the balcony with Charles Foster Kane. And for a long time, I was like, they did, they edited him in somehow.

But it's an actor, playing Hitler and the restraint they use makes it feel more real. Yeah, it can't be a real scene where they're like, oh, hello, you know, just like having to dance with him or something. But this guy, I mean, he cleaned up playing Hitler a bit. His name is Carl Eckberg and he was in Fritz Lang's Manhunt from the same year, 1941, excellent film. Yep.

As good one. Um, dude, is there anyone credited as Teddy, Teddy Roosevelt? Because there's a similar thing there. Right. When he's on like the back of the train. I generally just check for Hitler. And then I met Hitler again. I became a rough rider again.

I believe Hearst met Hitler as well. And then there was the whole divide in the country over World War II that they're sort of alluding to there. Oh, I'm sure they had a good laugh, those two. Well, yeah, he does come back. He comes in the newsreel. He's just like, oh, we're not going to go to war. Listen, everybody. Everyone relax.

Don't wet your beds. There's not going to be a World War. dude that's a fucking total embarrassment that's when he comes back from marrying susan alexander and he's like i'm out of the newspaper business or whatever and that yeah do guarantee you mark my words there'll be no war by the way i just checked teddy roosevelt yes also portrayed by an actor that's awesome yeah i mean they're good these are good looking like body doubles i mean i mean in the news real i mean it's it's a great way to start the movie i mean obviously you start more first on Rosebud and all that stuff and like obviously the gates and all that

stuff and like just feeling that isolation from the character what's insane about the movie is like this entire film is basically um i don't know how to end this news reel right here all expenses paid find out what the last thing he said was for some reason i'd what was that rosebud what's that mean you're totally right eric it blow me away i'm like this is about a newsreel like this is the most expensive newsreel ever made absolutely dude i like are we to believe that this is something that a cane owned thing is running or no i don't think so are they from like an opposing news organization or something you know i i do you never call yeah i don't believe he's a cane guy though and it is this thing where it's like we're going to blow the story right wide open and it's like oh so what is this

esoteric existential newsreel you're going to make no man is knowable news on the march existence is fleeting we just pulled ourselves out of the great depression everyone can have a job whatever you want to you want to go find out the ending in the newsreel okay here's $20,000 to walk around the country and interview random people the utility of it is like I guess celebrating the life and notifying everybody of the death of fucking Charles Foster Kane yeah just hold that off for like three weeks that's good I mean yeah I guess the thing is like, I don't know, like if you had to do

an obit or something, you don't exactly have like the internet to do research in that way. So I guess if you're trying to make like a really fucking polished filmed obituary newsreel, I don't know. Still, fucking Hearst dies and four weeks later an obituary runs. Everybody's like, what the

fuck? I think at that point you know, you don't see what happens when what does this dude Thompson, the guy comes back to the office, after like totally striking out at Zanadu, I think what you miss is that the guy being like, well, you know, he's been dead for like a month now. We got to turn this into a TV special. Get the news on the March thing out of here. Get somebody into narrate it, not like a newscaster. Now we just have to air it on television. Thanks a lot, everybody. Thanks a lot, Thompson.

Your fucking fruitless endeavor trying to find out what this word meant. I don't know. Did Kane know Dean Martin, too? Can we get him on this? oh the the post post life roast dude those are great uh i love all of the like matt painting shit at the beginning seeing zanadu and like the slow creep through the property like the fucking run down zoo we were laughing at the monkeys last the monkeys are great i do i mean also at the end you know we're chucking all the the detritus into the furnace obviously that's where rosebud spoiler alert. I think some of those monkeys and some of the animals they can't place or go in there. They're like, I don't know what the fuck are we going to do with a giraffe? Just

get in the furnace. Dude, totally. You see the size of that fireplace, dude? Get a fucking fire going in there. Right in you go, elephants. We're going to have a very exotic buffet, a going away buffet for everybody. I hope you all like some interesting proteins. I also like the idea. It's like, no, no, we can't, we can't. We can't donate. They're like Charles Foster Canyon as Will said you can't donate any of this fucking furniture to Goodwill or whatever. Load in the furnace. Yeah, I don't want any of those poor people getting it.

I mean, that's the last thing that this chair deserves. I want to blot out the sun with my fucking earnings, please. No, oh, the dirty money, burn it. I don't, I want only clean money. Also speaking of the zoo and the newsreel, they said it's like the biggest zoo since Noah. Well, he's getting two every animal. Is he breeding these fucking things? Yeah, I mean, he's got a complete.

Yeah, I like to watch them fuck. a complete god complex and you know that's also the retreat to zanidu the one place he's in charge of literally everything i also think this is part of a leftover a leftover from an old script he had because he did write a script about noah uh and the ark so jed have you ever watched two spider monkeys fucked why don't you come down to zanit listen we'll get tanked we'll watch the spider monkeys fuck and we'll get over this whole stupid article business it's going to be great jennett have you ever watched slugs do it your mind will be blown trying to guess which sound of fucking is louder those rhesus monkeys or the slugs

my movie on noah it's gonna be him smoking a cigar just vibing watching the animals fornicate the loot of the world we're told by the newsreel that that's that's what they're calling like his stash that's pretty great the because it also implies like he stole it. Like obviously he paid for all that shit, but like fuck you, dude, you shouldn't have all that stuff. Exactly. He's like a financial Gangas Khan around the world.

And I think I just wrote down like a bunch of hilarious clips like audio bits from that narration. One of the best in the entire thing is 1941's biggest, strangest funeral.

Have you ever seen a costume party for a funeral? Oh, look, it's Batman and Robin. Oh, look, here's a Florida Reef from Adolf Hitler. Oh, and the final pallbearer, of course, Santa Claus. Welcome. Chris and Mrs. Redder on the corner. It's like the Macy's Day parade here at fucking Charles Foster Cain's Funeral. Is he buried on property, you think?

Yeah. I can't recall. Was there like a mausoleum shot or anything in the newsroom? I don't think so. I guess the, I guess Xanity itself is a mausoleum. Yeah, well, just put it anywhere. Well, did you see this thing in Cain's will? He said he's supposed to be fed to the elephants.

Oh, dude, nice. Jesus. Okay, cut them up, boys. Yeah, so then you're to have Edison come in and electrocute the elephants. Yeah, I mean, it obviously starts with the famous whispering of Rosebud, drops that poor snow globe. I love the shot of, he's just, got the camera on that mirror and you see the the nurse come into the room that way just like you know it's not a fucking cinematography podcast by any means but like man this movie is

brilliantly shot gregg tolin man the miracle worker did he work with him uh repeatedly or was this it i think this might he told him had a long career but i forget if he worked on ambersons I think he might have. It looks, Emerson's looks extremely similar. You know, if not, definitely his ideals were taken. Right. So who do you think just, I mean,

just, I mean, well, you know, we don't have to really who is a better overweight, black and white, first time film director? Kevin Smith or Orson Wells? I got to go Smith on that. Yeah, okay, yeah, you're right. I think I think I'm right. I'm going to go Orson Wells

here. I'm going to play Smith is, thank you for bringing him up, by the way. No problem. When we were talking about Peter Bogdanovich earlier as being one of the first fan boy directors, I mean, that is a domino to Kevin Smith. Kevin Smith could make

an magnificent Amberson's. Orson Wells could not make a tusk. Yes, I maxed out all my credit cards here in New Jersey. Toland did not shoot. Really? Ambersons. Maybe this was it then.

I mean, just, and also, I mean, that's the thing is, like, there's, I mean, there's great acting here and obviously the cinematography is amazing, but also like just sort of like the lathe of the story, just kind of peeling back each time it goes over, kind of like figuring out, getting a little closer to this thing while not getting closer. The structure of the movie, too, is just like, it's just as effective now as it is then, you know what I mean? Which is a lame thing to say, but it's true. Absolutely, yeah, yeah. One thing I really notice more and more with him every time I go back to him. is the pacing. It's like lightning. It moves so quick. It's two hours and it could be

three. You know what I mean? It easily could be three with the subject matter. And also like just because I just finished watching the Queen's Gambit, I'm like, can we have more movies please unless like six hour, eight hour television series about one idea? You know what I mean? Is that what that thing's doing? It is. It should

just be a two hour movie and it would be great. It's just a good eight hour TV series. You know what I mean? If we could just focus, ladies and gentlemen on something, you got a great performance. You got a great, you got a good budget, just make a movie, and then I'm out of there in two hours, and I've got the idea. Chris, you know what, Tolan shot? Grape's a wrath directed by Ford.

Yeah, I think he did a few Ford's. I know he also did the best years of our lives, which is the best Oscar winner ever. I don't know that I've ever seen that movie. It's an incredible, I think it's Wellman. That is, that is the movie. where better than Green Book is what you're saying but much better William Wiler not Wellman sorry

Russell Crow is drinking wine in that movie right and he's like oh boy yeah Marion Cotillard's there oh those that's the good years of our lives I'm sorry what movie are you talking about it's called a good year I mean you guys you talk about being film literate

and you don't know latter day Russell Crow movies hey I am aware of that road rage movie that Chris Cabin loves. I love it too, actually. It's a big, it's a big fat masterpiece. I mean, it's not, it's not great. It's just Russell Crowe being incredible. Like, he's incredible in that movie. But like, and he is the planet Jupiter in that film. It's incredible. Oh, he's a gaseous planet. Farting all through the movie. That's what's happening. He's a big man is what I'm saying. Uh, so they're not, they're not having it with the newsreel

as such as it is because it's just something missing. to find out about rosebud there you have this guy who orchestrates this whole scene in the screening room where it's very theatrical just like what it got to get to the bottom of this man's mind find out about rosebud and he sends his motherfucker Thompson I love how none of these news on the March screening room vultures you really get a good look at their face yes yeah and Thompson is more or less faceless throughout the entire movie which is fucking great. Well, because it's great, I mean, like, this, of course, been written

about a hundred times, but like, you don't know their ends. You don't know what they really want from it. And that's what's beautiful about being bathed in black is that you don't know what they want. That's true. And now I'm reading through my notes. And I think they are pretty much impartial on this newsreel anyway, because they use headlines

of newspapers with varying messaging, such as CF, you know, Charles Foster Kane dies after lifetime of service. Oh, yes. sponsor of democracy dies Chicago Globe headline Death Calls publisher Charles Cain

subheadline Stormy career ends for U.S. fascist number one. So the first place that we go to I don't know if this is supposed to be California, maybe this is also in Florida, but it is the club that Susan Alexander is rotting away the rest of her life.

This is Atlantic City. AC, that's right, that's right. The Something Club, I have it later in my notes where they go back there. But so Thompson goes in and he's like, hey, a woman who kind of just found out a few days ago that her ex-husband died and you clearly just live in a bathtub of alcohol, open up to me immediately and tell me everything about this guy and she fucking loses it on this dude. It's great, there's a real great who told you you could sit down, which I love. Oh, sure, dude. I've always wanted to say that to somebody. It's hard to come back from.

Well, the problem is nobody ever wants to sit with me. Just so you could tell them to not sit there. Yeah, exactly. I told you you could sit down. Get the great Dorothy Klemangor here. Yes. Who is this? Dorothy Klemongor.

Should I know her from other things? Good soon type. I'm just giving the actress a name as opposed to just, you know. Well, no, you said. the great. She's made this movie. I don't know. Oh, no, no, no.

Usually when we say that, it's, you know, there's other knowledge of a project or something that I may have missed. I was like, oh, fuck, is this lady, you know,

somebody huge. But no, she was also in north of the Yukon, comet over Broadway. I guess the deal is, though, after this movie came out, I think she was one of the women

that Hearst got blacklisted. Oh, that makes sense. So she wound up just having a total fucking shit career for a really long time well i love the end of this movie because so many people were unknown the end is like fucking ghost busters where like and and here's our players and like you know what i mean like just showing you get to see everybody well it's so great i mean because so many of these actors were part of his mercury players company and i just i like i was really appreciating how theatrical so much of this feel

even though it's like you know it was quite revolutionary filmmaking there's just something and a lot of it I think is invoked because of the actors like just the feel of these performances and you know when it steps into some crazy melodrama

it feels like almost staged melodrama the fact that like when they're in Zanadu they have to keep fucking yelling at each other because it's so big but it's as if they are having to project for a theater you know make sure that people in the back and hear you kind of a thing.

So all of that, you know, theaterness, the stage playness. Mr. Wells, I hate to be that guy. These things you see, and these are microphones. We capture the sound and play it later. So you can use whatever modulation you like. I just want to let you know that there's no one in the back row necessarily that you need to. I was really jealous of that cavernous Xana dude,

especially during this COVID quarantine, just letting people know in the future. If you're listening to this episode, we're recording this in the worst time of life. Well, I don't know what the future is. So maybe it's going to get worse. Never mind. Yeah, I don't know.

Walk that back a little bit. Yeah, don't speak too soon. Just let the Martians know I'm on their side. Well, it would be nice to have a place you could walk seven miles within. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. Charles Foster Kane will not wear a mask. I will not have my liberties trampled on by putting a mask over.

this mouth. You sheeple wearing a mask. Listen, everyone in my newspaper can wear a mask, but I shall not. How am I supposed to drink my pol-mese or wine if I have a mask over my wine

hole? New in the inquirer it says Q, trust the plan. Get your papers here. Why is Charles Foster Kane, Q? Find out. Did he fake his own death to come back later? Q Foster Cain.

Q Foster Cain. We all know that rotten Jim Gettys Jr. Faked his own death. Extry, extra, extra, the cure is here. Colovora form is the cure for the COVID virus. Yes, yes. Jim Gettys drinks adrenachrome, ladies and gentlemen. And you know how they harvest that, don't you?

He would have been... perfect in this time, actually. That's the thing is, like, you can compare him to Trump in so many ways, like, what does Kaffeefei mean? Maybe that is his rose. But Charles Foster Kane would have been

a better president because he's competent in some way. Oh, he would have got more evil shit done for sure. Yes. It would have been, yeah, it would have been totally evil, but it would have at least been competently run and executed evil. Well, that's the thing is that Trump always pretended to be a populist and he wasn't and I mean I feel like Kane would have been a populist

but just as evil you know what I mean it's like Trump with actual populism behind him that would which would have been much more dangerous yeah I think he'd be more like a second term poppy I guess the correct like analgamation of these people would be like if rupert murdoch was Trump yeah that's fair and one because he's got the newspaper apparatus right yeah the newspaper's got to come first uh unlike this motherfucker may be doing news you know what fuck that guy uh you know one difference though with that piece of shit is that apparently back in 1871 it appears as if charles foster kane's father did love him which is maybe the one difference here or maybe loved the gold money that the

wife was getting i don't know what a what a strange arrangement i had to watch a scene twice i'm like wait who's getting what and why why is this boy for sale it is boy for sale dude more or less but the thing about the father loving him like seemingly because he's like why i don't understand why the kid has to leave colorado leave our weird homestead but he also at the same time the mother says some line about like well you know you're not going to be able to hit him all the time and oh i miss that yeah that's a huge line it's kind of more like more like fred trump than i realize then which i was kind of shocked especially at 1871 that we actually cared about child abuse at all i mean or even 1941 but it is interesting like that that's sort

part of her reason is like this guy's a fucking lousy drunk he's going to meet this kid to death and I'm not going to let it happen also yeah I'm going to send him to this weird fuck I don't even know what mr. Thatcher's all about dude but I don't like the looks of him I'll tell you that much look Mary look Mary I know I know I shouldn't have hit him when I when he didn't wear a tie to the baseball game I know I shouldn't have done it but it's really it's disgusting okay you don't have to sell the boy it is a pretty wild arrangement that they have though where the deal is you give us this kid that this bank will make sure goes to like the best boarding schools

and yada yada and has like worldly life experiences and we'll give each of you 50,000 dollars a year every year and then when one of you fucking dies the other one continues to get your 50 grand a year so you're getting a hundred grand a year in 1871 and let me tell you I tried to do the inflation and I couldn't because the inflation calculator only goes back to 1913 at which point it was it was over two million dollars a year right and I'd fucking sell a kid I hated for two million dollars I'd sell both my legs you can take both those motherfuckers

and then all you do Steve you just you wait a couple years you save up maybe like four six million dollars yeah and then you just invest in the greatest artificial legs that have ever existed Absolutely. Or a legitimate 1992 X-Men, Professor X wheelchair, the yellow one that hover. This is what we're talking about. It was supposed to hover.

Take it back. $6 million. Where are the side panels? Everybody wants the fucking Baron Harcone and floating suit. Precisely. Or maybe Darth Mall fucking spider feet. I could see cane rock in those. I can't do spider feet, man.

I'll tell you right now, I got to look like a person. I can't look like a half-ed. animal. On the family front here, I think it was some weird thing about like they had like rights to some fucking gold digging operation that there was thought to be dry but I guess now is flush with cash

so it's like give the mine to the bank and they're going to raise your kid to be like an aristocrat I guess. And like yeah and they later on when they're going over his earnings they say it's the second biggest gold mine in the world

or something like that which makes him having the sixth largest fortune in the world yada yada yada but it's it's a lot of fucking money is what we're talking about and i do yeah and this kid's not having it because he's you know he's screaming union forever he's he's throwing fucking snowballs at his own house it's 1871 it's before the switch ladies and gentlemen that's what we had to do be thankful he was yelling the union for it that's a really good point that would be a controversial thing actually we have a fucking outgoing president who says the opposite it's true um and you You know, it is kind of really, I mean, obviously, the sled is rose blood, bud, we don't know that yet.

It is sort of, you know, interesting, again, from a whatever, from a storytelling standpoint, that he literally hits this fucking rich piece of shit with this sled. Like, it's like, get the fuck away from me. I don't want this kind of a thing. Absolutely. And this is Mr. Thatcher, who, the way we get to this part of the story is creepy. It's the creepiest part of the movie to me. No, no, no. Come with me.

I'm Mr. Thatcher. I'll make an amusement part. you could play with some gorillas in my zoo well that's creepy but as far as getting to the flashback it's this dude thompson going to the archive of this guy thatcher uh and he wants to read from an unpublished manuscript and it's like just the pages that involved charles foster cane and it's the craziest like fucking thatcher man i mean he was this like bank dude he must have been really rolling in it because there's like this this woman who's like sitting at a desk who's like very wary to let

him in at all. There's a fucking armed security guard like in this vault. A is like if you read past page 142 I'm going to shoot you in the fucking head. A he's loaded. B, he's totally McCulley Culkinning this kid. He's siphoning off some of those riches for himself.

For sure. I bet. Well, because he still has so much money. There's a the, it's a weird moment that's thrown in where I think it might be like the tail end of this dude reading this archive. shit where you have that scene where it's Kane

this guy Thatcher and I believe is it Leland is also there or maybe the short little guy Bernstein it might be Bernstein it's one of the other two guys so it's three of him at a table and it's when he has to sell over the newspaper

as he's like a slightly older man he's like totally fucking bankrupt I think you're right Steve because that dude Thatcher's like yeah come on home that's where all the fucking gold money is come back and sleep at the bank with us again it is yeah and like

you know so like I love this the sequence of you see his childhood it's literally and it's you know I'm a huge fan I kind of you know we talk about trading scenes a lot I'm a huge fan of not seeing childhoods I think I think unless the movie's specifically about that I kept my eyes closed during my entire

childhood too you're just talking about if there's like some sort of biographical thing or something like you don't need to see Like, like, I really, like, I haven't revisited it in a long time. I don't actually know if it's a good movie, but I know that the parts of Ray that never worked for me was Ray as a little kid, Ray Charles as a child. I don't give a shit. No, unless it's, unless it's super important and that you can even get that information out as adults. You know what I mean?

You don't need to have them as a little kid, like going through the things. Like, especially those, like, SNL movies, like, at the beginning of Tommy Boys specifically. Like, we just have to see him say Schneikies and you have to see David, Little. David Spade be like, I'm this, I'm going to be a jerk when I grow up. Like, who gives this shit? I start the movie. I totally forgot about that. Or like a previous episode back in the Patreon Archive Gone Fission.

Yes. Where it's Lil Danny Glover and Lil Joe Pesci. Exactly. It's like, and especially too, in a biography of like an artist or something, it's like, hey man, they're making a biography about you, a biographical film. Like, you're an artist, you're a creator. I don't know, odds are your childhood fucking suck, so I'm just going to make that assumption

and let's get to the fucking piano play. They do the same thing with Walk the Line. It was just something that all musical biopics did for a while. Right, and the Phantom Menace as well. Exactly. Thank you, Eric. All of our fucking white, old man directors are Grampy age,

and they're like, oh, where's the little kid at? Yep, then you're totally right. But that's what's great. It's like literally, like, he comes, he goes to the Ducher's house, like, Merry Christmas. He gets a newslet which he hates, obviously. And then a happy new year, he's 25. In like two seconds, it rules.

It is such a great cut. The fucking editing in this movie, man. And you have to be on your toes with the editing. If you're fucking making a movie like this, that is literally tap dancing all around the late 19th and early 20th of centuries. I mean, it's also good just to do, the news on the march really just lets you get the plot out of the way. What was the general view of his life?

You get it right off the bat. So now he doesn't have to hit those moments so hard. Yeah. And now he can just focus on these cool moments with him. Absolutely. You're peeling an onion, baby. That's what it's the best. One of those cool moments is trying to stoke a war between America and Spain.

Hell yeah. Dude, he's obsessed with starting the Spanish-American War. It's amazing. Is that what this is supposed to be? Yeah, I believe so. Terrible with history. And there's, you know, there's talk about like our guy in Cuba says, you know i can give you some pros and poetry or shit but but there's no war in cuba and he's like

oh you send the pros i'll supply the war yes yeah which is i mean the dude sucks but that's a great line because he has he has a thing where he comes back from college overseas he's been kicked out of another school right and he says uh i think it would be fun to run a newspaper and that sort of launches that was in the letters back and forth and one of the great lines in that too is I'm not interested in goldmines, oil wells, shipping, or real estate. I think it'd be fun to their newspaper.

Yes, he says like, oh, I noticed that I guess what happened was, he was like, Hey, Thatcher, I've failed out of another school. So I'm just coming back home to America. And he was like, all right, Charles, here's a fucking list of all the things that this cane trust or whatever owns, like pick something to do.

Because he's like, I noticed that the, you know, you also here have a small newspaper. That might be fun. Oh, ocean liners, huh? Well, carnival cruises, maybe. No, no, no, no, no, no. Let's do the paper. Orson Wells on a cruise lookout for that midnight buffet, dude. It is brutal.

He comes in fucking little rich boy and like, you know, this guy's been running the inquiry forever, this old fuck. And then he's just like, oh, is that your office, sorry? now it's my office Daddy bought the paper It's not even a This is going to be my office It's a this is where my bedroom is now Because like the first thing you see

They move in is a fucking mattress And he's like This poor guy's like Now what's going on here sir I know you're the new publisher Of the Inquirer but come on And he's like Well the news never sleeps

And neither will I Your office is my bedroom motherfucker Now you're a janet That's right. Clean my bedpan, janitor. I piss and shit in your office.

All right, we're going to start with an opinion desk. We're going to have an opinion paper. This is a young David Brooks here that's going to write for us. Oh, Jesus. All right. We're going to revolutionize newspapers. There's going to be a lazy orange cat cartoon. Every single week.

I will call him Garfield. Oh, I love lasagna. He could like lasagna, too. Dude, it was literally just what Charles Cain was eating at the time. And his favorite food shall be, well, I guess it's lasagna. What do you men say every morning? Oh, you hate Monday, do you? Oh, no, they never have the scones with the heavy butter on Mondays.

I hate Mondays, God damn it. And so would Garfield. Well, I think Jim Davis has, like, the same. seventh largest fortune in America. Is that how that works? I think he's also a Florida guy too, right? That makes sense. Oh, he's got his own little fucking Garfield funded Zanidoo down there.

I would like a shot for shot remake of Citizen Kane, but about Jim Davis instead. Citizen Davis, dude, I'm totally down. He's at a podium, but he's just like, it's talking like, hi, my name is Jim Davis. But it's still sold out Madison Square Gardens. Hi, how are you all doing? I've never, I've never talked in a place this. big before. Jeez. Jesus is big.

So many of you want to hear about that cat, huh? By the way, apparently Jim Davis resides in Albany, Indiana. How about that? That Garfield money goes far there, dude. I'll tell you that much. Oh, my God. I bet he's the fucking king of Albany, Indiana. He's probably got

owns it. He's got a cat zoo. He can fucking, it's like on Schitt's Creek. They just like bought that town at a price. Yes, actually. My mansion, Catadoo. yes actually i do i do uh feed all the cats lasagna uh i make it every morning and i make it in a big tray and uh yeah i have all these huge fat cats here as much as i like italian food man lasagna is fucking

low on the list really really sorry you can get bad lasagna you can get great lasagna i'm not i'm not saying oh yeah sure i hate it i'm just saying like where do you fall in bake ziti oh it's up there do see i i prefer lasagna to bake ziti 10 to 1 interesting and now but the thing is of course we have to acknowledge that the illustrations in Garfield are a total fucking lie and that cat is eating fucking stuff from a cat. Come on. That's what Jim Davis's greatest crime

is. So yeah, this is, it's kind of great because James Robert Davis you are sentenced to hang from the neck until dead. They have the great moment of like what's his face walks in. Thatcher walks into the

newspaper he's like now cane you are fucking this up here this used to be a reputable newspaper and now you've turned it into this muckraking rag and he's like reading all these headlines and whatever and cane has this really great moment where he's like you have to understand you're talking to two people he's like there's the one there's charles foster cane the dude that you fucking bought from colorado and he's like the man of the people and he fucking or you know he's a rich dude and he understands where you're coming from but then you're also speaking with Charles Foster came the newspaper man and I'll run you all right out

of debt like he fucking switches on a dime with this dude. They have a big fight and he's like you know at this rate you're losing a million dollars a year you're going to lose a million dollars this year on the paper and he's like that's cool and I'll lose a million dollars next year in the near after that and if I keep doing that

I'll have to close this place in 60 years and then it cuts to 1929 so not that long later and he's this is it's the quick scene of him relinquishing the newspaper ownership. Thatcher just like bonks him over the head and like brings him back to

California. I'm returning you to your parents. It's a bad investment. And he says to Kane at the end of this, you know, what would you, you know, they're talking about like well, what are you going to do now? You know, and he says, Thatcher says to him, what would you like to be?

And Kane says, everything you hate. So good. Which is the fucking best. And then I shall become Batman, actually. I decided I'll be the Caped Crusader. This suit isn't very roomy, is it? Oh, boy. Well, that's the thing, dude.

You know, if this was, you know, you know, Citizen Kane comes out, you know, it was obviously a critical and commercial flop at the time or critics liked it, you know, it didn't make a lot of money. But they'd be like, oh, man, what Avengers movie is, is Orson Wells going to make, dude? Do you think he's like a moon night? guy or what you think.

Ooh, Orson Welles is Moon Night. Would he be playing Moon Night or he's just directing the movie? Maybe a bit of both. And Moon Knight's a guy that was like in a shiny suit of armor but he like shown his buttocks to people. Yeah, he moot to people. I see.

He was the Moon Night. I was trying to run my head around. He was the Moon Night. Oh man, I ran out to the Renfair and I forgot the fucking ass cover of my night outfit here. Oh no. Hey yeah, fucking you just got Moon mother fuck oh my god hey moon night yeah look at my fucking butt cheeks now you notice the

use a deep focus on his mooning ass very very well well zian very perfect we should say the entire film in deep focus it's really entire film deep focus looks fucking great uh well like even like the shots of with him him him and his family before he's taken way by thatcher are amazing because you get to see him playing outside the window in like complete focus. I mean, yeah, the feeling is really 3D, but not 3D. Yeah. Like you actually see, he brings your eye, like a lot of the things he does is bringing your eyes back to the, to the back of the room and then back forward.

Yeah. So that you're fully aware of the whole space. So much of this movie has that in the newsrooms and parties, you can watch other people there and it makes it feel way more real in a way. Yeah. It's really incredible. So he goes to see, this is Thompson, by the way, Thompson in the present day of the film goes to see Bernstein. And Bernstein, it's kind of hilarious because Bernstein, even though he's been with Kane, like one of the longest of all the Kane allies, he's got like almost nothing to tell him.

My man Bernstein is the guy I want to be in this movie. He's just, I don't know, he clock gets it at nine, leaves at five, you know, whatever. The evil shit isn't really his problem. he made a ton of money he's cool yeah your your ice statue at the celebration has a little bigger nose than you might have wanted but fine fine fine i'll deal with it uh yeah i guess so i mean the thing about it is though i've always seen bernstein as a little bit of like a renfield situation god whatever you need mr kane whatever you need you know and like yeah he totally profited off of that but like that dude never spoke up yeah you know what i mean like yeah i'll

fucking take your money dude and I'll like kind of hang back and move your furniture around and all this like shit that he's doing for him. Did Renfield outlive Dracula? I think does Renfield die in Dracula? I don't think he does. Isn't he just like, isn't he just forever crazy? Yeah, I think he, yeah, he goes to an insane asylum. Yeah, he's just locked up. He's cool. And then he releases, right? And then he releases rain dogs and sort of his trombone and then he finally gets out. You know, because basically what we're revealing here. years. None of us is Red Dracula. We're just going off of Brandon Stoker's Dracula. Right.

Great film. Great film. I think Bernstein, by the way, once Kane dies, he jerks off for a week. It's like a full week of basketball. Because he hasn't been able to jerk off in fucking 70 years. Up Charles Foster Cane's ass giving him every little fucking thing

for decades. But he's an older guy. What do they use back then to make your dick hard? Hot sauce. You just put it in your rewere Turtle soup, I think. You dip it in turtle soup. You ate oysters, and then you punched it for a while, and then it got guard. Oh, wow.

Yeah, it's just like starting an old car, you know. You can fucking turn that crank like Mr. Burns? Hey, man, can I get some turtle soup to go? Oh, problem with the misses, I ain't? No, just a problem with my dick. Yanked my crank black and blue. Yeah, yeah, you don't have to put it in a bowl or anything. Just put in a coffee cup.

I'll drink it on the way. that is like i wish that bernstein was a little more like celebratory yeah when thompson goes to see him because i would be like ding dong the witch is dead dude like let's start fucking dancing right now the jerking off thing just makes me think of like birdstein poor old bernstein at 2 a.m. in the morning just like looking around puts his hand down his pants then the fucking phone rings and it's charles foster gain that's what i'm talking about cabin you don't you touch it bernstein Bernstein I've got reports of you trying to touch it my spidey senses were going off

are you touching it I heard you put your other fingers up your asshole too that is definitely a no no mister definitely a no no why don't you learn to jerk off like a man if even Kane died the shadow inspector of him haunted this dude for so long he might not he might not be able to nut yeah that's fair too scared to jerk off

that's a sign that you have a bad boss Also, if there's, you know, if I knew Charles Foster Kane, I'd be like, okay, if there's any ghosts, this guy's probably going to be one of them. Oh, yeah, dude. Because why would he want to move on to hell or haven't or whatever? I'm going to stick around and haunt this newspaper office and make sure they fucking get the paper out on time for the rest of time. His headline's not sensational enough. Oh, make it more sensational. I've found a solution for us here, Bernstein.

I've gotten you a prostitute and I'm going to sit right here and watch you fuck her. That's right, Bernstein. You're going to cuck me with this prostitute. Now let's go. The New York Post is stealing my act. So Bernstein is like,

I got nothing for you, dude. Why don't you go see Jedediah Leeland? Terrible name. And here comes Joseph motherfucking cotton into this movie. one of the absolute greatest actors of all time. I love this guy. I love him.

I love Shadow of a Doubt. He's amazing in that movie. And he's better with Wells for a while. He was in Wells' first movie, Too Much Johnson. Have you seen Too Much Johnson? Is it available anywhere? It's available. You can, what'd you say, Eric?

Oh, whenever I look in the mirror. Wow, that's too much Johnson. Medically, this is a problem. That's the last line of Boogie Nights. Yo, bro, I got too much Johnson. you're a fucking star look at too much johnson down there uh it's an interesting re like it the story is hard to follow uh i don't think he really meant for you to follow it but the filmmaking is incredible uh and you can you can find it i think it was it came out

some in some form it was definitely out there one of my favorite joseph cotton performances ever is he's on an episode of alfred hitchcock presents where he plays a dude who gets in a car accident it's like a rollover or something and he's fucking paralyzed and the whole episode is him like just laying there like thinking about shit and then like people come for him and stuff and they don't realize like what's going on it's a great episode but it's all like joseph cotton like facial expressions mixed with like voiceover narration of his thoughts it's fucking rad if you can track it down i know i know hitchcock presents is like streaming in a bunch of places definite recommend.

But so Jedediah Leeland was like, you know, Charles Foster Kane's right hand man, you know, since before he was a newspaper man. He's at this old folks home looking like Stan motherfuckedly. Let me tell you. He's got the little mustache going. He's got a little hat.

He's got the sunglasses. I was loving it. I was also loving the fact that because they give what's his face? Thatcher. Nope. Bernstein. God, somebody names in this movie. Bernstein's like when he says go see Leland he says you Leland is living in this hospital and the hospital area that he's referring to is on

180th street here in Manhattan as a resident of Upper Manhattan I was so stoked I used to live like right up the street from where they were talking about right here like that whole hospital complex area so he's like living on like the you know northern upper west side of Manhattan I thought that was pretty cool. Yeah. And by the way, this is the great shot of like the George W. Or the George Washington Bridge and everything.

Anyway. Like Stan Lee was also probably grabbing at those nurses. Oh, yeah. Dude, I bet he was hands in this guy. I was kind of, he's kind of,

he's not coded gay, but like he very well could be like a gay character just because like there's no, there's no romantic interest whatsoever. Everything is about, uh, Kane, Kane.

Kane. He's not coded in any way. It's not like Fay or anything like that. But it is just sort of like, you don't know what's going on with this guy. The only thing he says about the nurses actually is that they're not very good looking, which is also right, that's true. All I know about

him is that he has a death wish, because he's like, can you bring me some cigars? They say it might kill me, but I don't really give a fuck. Well, Cabin, I mean, when you're that old, dude, you know? But I feel like, no, I'm totally with him. It's fine, but like, it's just amazing that that's all, other than Cain, that's all

he can hammer home is like, get me some tobacco, please. Chris Cabin, if they put you in a fucking like, you know, like a home or whatever. Uh-huh. And you don't get... I've got the paperwork half filled out for Chris. Don't even worry about it.

I think the sooner the better. We can... We've got power of attorney, right? Because we're all partners in the LLC. Yeah, yeah. I haven't told Sophie yet, but yeah, I know. You are going to the booby hatch, my friend. And you are going to the booby hatch.

You know, you could not survive without marijuana in some way. Oh, yeah. some point. So this poor man wants a fucking cigar and you I'm not judging him. Mr. Ivory Tower. Throwing your bolts of lightnings. He doesn't have a VC fucking R my friend.

He's got nothing in that place. I am saying he should have asked for more. Give me fucking like illegal morphine trial drugs. The first quailudes. Give me two chimpanzees to fight each other. Yeah. Give me it all, man. Well, I think the thing is, you know, he doesn't

want to like blow his brains out or like take a bunch of pills or whatever he just understands like he's at the end of the road and what does it matter you know what i mean so it's not like oh just give me a sweet smith and wesson to fucking give me a goddamn you know bullet sandwich or anything like that it's just like a it gives it was it was always like it reminds me of you know my grandfather would be like how about a little bit of vodka and i'd be like you know what dude yeah you're in your fucking 80s like okay let's go for it i what are we doing at the end of it he's like you'll have have to sneak them in in toothpaste

because this doctor is all up my ass about it. I want to see this prison fucking cigar rig that this guy has to make. Totally, dude. Because he does agree. I think it's like a He just walks away. Yeah, yeah. He never fucking saw that. This poor old

bastard is like, tomorrow that boy is coming with my cigars. Oh, tomorrow that boy is coming with my cigars. That was five years ago. Why won't you just die, Leland? But tomorrow that boy, he's coming with my cigars. He said he's

bringing the codes in tomorrow. No. But so this is like, when he starts talking with Leland, we get the perspective of when he first came to the newspaper. You know, and he, there's a great,

great moment here where Kane, they're trying to get a newspaper out and Kane writes this whole statement. you know, that he titles the Declaration of Principles and it's all about like

the New York Inquirer will always be honest with you. It'll always be about reporting first and the facts and the truth and the people and yada yada. And Cain makes them like print this on the front page of the newspaper. And Jedediah very smartly

is like, you know, when you're done like setting that up for the printing press, can you give that back to me? Because I think I'm going to need to rub that in his face at some point. Yeah, because I'm fucking 50 years. from now. He's playing the long game on a fuck it I told you so and I appreciate

the hustle. Absolutely. The original you know it's sort of like they compared to the Declaration of Independence like in that way. I love to man I mean Charles Foster Kane was such a son of a bitch like there's the

great thing where he's like they're trying to figure out why they don't have as much circulation numbers as the New York Chronicle and they realize like oh because the publisher of The Chronicle spent years developing this newspaper team

and I guess it's like mainly just reporters maybe some photographers or something Kane just fucking buying all these dudes off to come work for him what a son of a bit we've got the big names

David Brooks Brett Stevens Jeffrey Toobin Bari Weiss everybody is here on sports Joe Rogan. Oh, dude.

Oh, fuck. It's escalation. You start running sensational headlines, then they start publishing opinion editorials. So he steals their

whole staff. And this is where they have the celebratory dinner party. We also see the circulation go from 26K to 495K on the window. Not a bad turnaround there.

Goch to publish your download numbers. Yeah, dude. It is kind of sad, right? I always thought that about McDonald's, too. Like, oh, whoopty fuck, billions of hamburgers. Fuck you. Give a shit.

Put that on a sign. Makes me like it less. I don't like it, that that guy got it, too. They didn't want to see the game. They wanted to see him out of hamburgers sold. But this is, you know, there is a man. A certain man. And he just starts getting into it, man.

And for the poor, you may be sure that he'll do all he can. Who is this? this one, this favorite son. Just by his action man's the traction magnets on the run who loves to smoke, enjoys a joke, who wouldn't be upset if he was really

broke. Stephen Sadek. He's still the same. Talking about coming on a podcast. Stephen Seda. Yay. I did think to myself watching that scene because this time watching it, my eyes were only on

Joseph Cotton and the other guy. Bernstein. God damn it. Yes, Bernstein. Come on, Andrew. Newspapers, Bernstein. Just do it. You know, because they're having their own little like side meeting while all this is going on. And I had the thought

of like how I would react if one of you started having your theme song sung in front of me. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because it's like it's one thing entirely to have a theme song sung about yourself and like you have to act a certain way. but like if you're in the presence of someone else who's having a theme song song about them like do are you obligated to like pretend that that's cool yeah it's a tough one probably if it's like birthday or something you're like oh man it's your that's awesome you guys went to a lot of trouble for this it's not bad if I just like saw it but it's the knowledge that you know he did like rehearsals for this like right this wasn't just a oh all of a sudden yeah we're going to sing the song no he had a whole

thing ready to go. Unless it was big on the airwaves before. You wouldn't think it was a bop in the day, dude? No, I guess not. The modern version of this is you getting fucking cake at your office. Like, oh, it's my birthday. I get cake.

It's the same shit. Number one, on the charts, it's a, there is a man. Yep, everybody's favorite newspaper magnate. Yeah, it's called. Coming up next, it's the theme song we all loved. There is a man, parenthesis, Charles Foster Kane. It's the Union Forever by the White Stripes.

I mean, to be fair, party all the time is kind of a theme song for Eddie Murphy. That's very true. They do have them. And like heartbeat is probably Don't. That's Don Johnson. Yeah, that makes sense. It's weird. I was about to say she's like the wind from Patrick Swayze, but that doesn't work.

No. That's just a song he sang. Well, actually, though, I don't know. it could work I mean because Eddie Murphy's song is about a woman yes but so yeah so that's she's like the wind is Patrick Swayze's theme she's like an extension he wants to party all the time too but she's the one that really wants to party all the time you know what else is about a woman uh I watched I watched the TV movie last night R K0281 with leave Shriver as Orson Wells and James Cromwell as William Randolph Hurst and the amazing uh Malkovich as Mank by the way

this is recorded before any of us has seen Mank, right? Yeah, we're two days out. Right. Yeah. Oh, does it come out this Friday? Yeah. But he says in that well, apparently it's alluded to that Rosebud was the nickname for Hurst's girlfriend's pussy.

Marion Davis. Get out of town. Really? So like this movie was so salacious and insulting to Hearst because it's all like all of his little cutesy words for pussy up there on the screen. Well, I think that's also why the actress got the brunt of Hurst's anger

is because she's depicting Marion Davies, who he did love. He also tried to get Wells Blacklist as a communist as well. That's such a fucking baller movement. I'm not trying to be a jerk or another, but I think that guy's a communist. Oh, wait, his life is ruined. Cool.

I was doing that just last week. I mean, I don't know, Officer. That's Stephen Sadegh. He seems like a pretty nice guy, but I think he's a communist. that was the last time we actually truly de-platformed anyone the communists we de-platformed the communists maybe you should not fucking rise up didn't do a fucking steady elevation for you Ilya Kazan you rat fuck exactly

fuck that guy even if he made good movies and I don't know about his daughter either has everybody seen the clip of Orson Wells talking about Ilya Kazan it's like two minutes long it's on YouTube you should find it it's incredible because he does he's like he's a traitor and he made him he's like He followed up, fucking, selling out all his colleagues with On the Waterfront, which is a celebration of the informer. And he's like, so fuck that guy. Also, he's a very good director.

And that's it. Wait a second. He outed people before he made on the waterfront? What an asshole. Was it like an apology tour production, do you think? I mean, I guess at the time, that's what it was. But, like, it's really just him, like, being like, no, it's good to inform on your friends. Oh, wait, wait, wait.

The communists and the mafia. It's the same thing. Who else is up for the directing gig on, on the waterfront? Oh, nice list. Oh, those are all communist guy. No, no, I'm not tall. Maybe we should try that now, too, like see if it was still sticking. I think, not for nothing, that Louis C.K, bit of a communist.

I think he's taken care of. Yes. So, oh, you do. Is he still fucking creeps out on. Oh, is he? Clubs here. Oh, I guess he's touring. He's still doing stand up.

Elya Kazan goes to a restaurant. I'm sorry, Mr. McHazan, we're all filled up. Oh, see that back table there, back by the, that twosom by the kitchen there? I think both those dudes are communists. You're sure you're all full up? Actually, I think that there might be a communist in there. You might want to get rid of that. Yeah, I see him now, yeah, sitting at your very best table.

Definitely communists. Oh, oh, they ordered trout. Yeah, that's a famous communist meal is trout. Lenin loved trout. The original idea for a communist flag was just going to be a drawing of a trout. You know, Trotsky

also liked bread and butter before a meal. Oh, God. So the conversation that Leland and Bernstein have here is great. He's like, you know, these dudes that he just bought

from the Chronicle, they share the Chronicle's value. so now that they're here whose values do they share and Bernstein's like well they'd share the inquirer's values and he's like yeah I guess so but also these newspaper guys

could just easily turn Kane into what they are and I wonder if there's some notion there of like that's Kane becoming an asshole like is there any possibility that before he hires those Chronicle

guys he believes in one thing Yeah, yeah. I mean, and I don't know that there's an easy answer, but I love Leland's suspicion there, the concern about it. I don't buy it, but only because they never give you a point where you, like, the movie is all about Kane. So it can't be about anybody else's like manipulations of Kane. It's about him. It comes down to, and this is how it's similar to Trump in a way, too, because I think in one of those scenes of Bernstein talking to the reporter in the office in the future, he mentions that like Kane, all he ever wants. wanted out of life was love, but he didn't have any to give himself. Like he couldn't give love, but he needed love. He needs the people because he never had that with Thatcher and his parents.

I would have just loved if you rethought this whole movie as just a man who buys like millions and millions of sleds. Fills houses and cars and everything full of sleds. Can't stop buying sleds. Like a model train guy or something. Just can't stop doing it. In the newsreel, because they're talking about his vast empire and they're like, oh, yes, he's not just newspapers. He had grocery stores. And I'm like, oh, wow, what a fucking, I don't know, like, half the people I know the Bronx own a grocery store.

Like, I don't know. Like, it's not a big deal. Really? No, not really. But, you know what I mean? Just grocery stores does not exactly wow me. Corner stores that have the word grocery on the. Exactly.

Well, that's like, you know, I think just the idea of like they were buying. anything. Don't they say he owns fucking railroads or shit at one point? Paper mills and all sorts of stuff. Yeah. We're in dire straits, boys. Sell the bodegas. But bring me the bodega cats.

All right, we need a quick 10,000 sell the bodegas. I need the cats for my zoo. Also, I'm starving. I do love the idea of Bernstein coming a while. You know that the newspapers are doing great, But we've got this problem in the, in half the grocery stores, there's a little bit of an apple shortage.

I cannot be dealing with apple shortages. Why don't you just replace the apples with oranges? Case closed. I have a new idea for a canned meat, canned cat. Oh, ew. I do. But he goes off, he fucks off to Europe. And when he goes there, there's intimations that he's obviously,

wooing somebody and he comes back they throw him this fucking party and I swear to God they give this man a trophy for going to Europe and coming back hey Chris remember we gave that trophy when you came back from Germany yeah it was fantastic thank you at the time

most people didn't survive coming back from Germany that's fair I mean I think the trophy though man it is really hilarious you know just giving someone a trophy for surviving a vacation They put a blue ribbon on them.

Yeah, you know, but I noticed this time through a detail that I've missed every other time I've watched the movie is when they're going through and surveying Zanadu at the end of it, dude, that motherfucker kept that trophy. Oh, he did. Yeah. That is in the collection. They're like, because someone read, I don't know if it's Thompson or somebody reads the inscription on it and it's the same like, congratulations, you made it back a live trophy. Susan, Susan, where is my surviving Europe trophy? Susan, Susan, where'd you put it? Meanwhile, the janitor is fucking cleaned the garbage.

Like, yeah, my little, my youngest son died last week, and I asked the company $50 to bury him. They didn't have it. Nice trophy, sir. Congratulations. Yes, yes, yes, yes. But where is the trophy? Where is the trophy, Myron?

Oh, well, you know, I meant to ask you, sir, if we could use the furnace to dispose of my son. Sure, sure, that's fine. But first, find the trophy. So gracious of you, sir, so gracious. He died of a cold, by the way. He sneezed too hard, and his face fell off. It's fucking 1930, whatever.

I did forget there is a rad Bernstein line when he's talking with Thompson in the interview, and he's talking about Leland. I think it's Leland here. And he says, you know, oh, that's what it is. Because I think Thompson's like, oh, is he sick or something? And he goes, yeah, he's got something. Old age, the only disease you don't look forward to being cured of, which is a fucking great. Like, there's only one cure for that.

Well, Leland. Well, that's suggesting that he isn't also charting an exploration to find the fountain of youth, which he certainly is. Kane definitely has people looking for it. Kane dies of old age, right? He doesn't really die They don't say what he dies of Yeah, he just kind of checks out

A broken hot sir He died of fucking like too much McDonald's No, it's like a heart attack from Busting up Susan Alexander's fucking room This dude is not in shape enough To be throwing around fucking vanities and dressers Dude there is the part there where he

Orson Wells, the actor is trying to rip those shelves off the wall and it doesn't quite work the way he wants it to like he's pulling on the top shelf and it doesn't budge and then he goes to the bottom and just fucking drops the elbow on it

to rip it off the wall he does apparently he uh the old age makeup like it made it difficult for him to see and that was why and he like cut seriously cut his hand during that scene oh really yes I mean the old age makeup looks fucking amazing I mean it's a little bit of trickery

because it looks everything looks a little bit better in black and white you know what I mean but even still like it looks incredible. It's weird to, before you get to, like, decrepitly old cane, like, just the age makeup set up right before that, looks like startlingly like he wound up looking. Like, you know, not including the weight gain that happened later, but like, just in the face and the way they do the hair, I was like, wow, like they really kind of predicted how this man was going to age. Yeah, they could, I mean, nobody could really foresee him

growing the greatest beard of all time. Oh, that fucking dagger beard he's sporting later on? It's amazing. Incredible. Oh, yeah. The king of all beards. He kind of looks similar to that what you were talking about, Andrew, with that middle stage where he's got the mustache in the stranger. He kind of looks a little like that.

Oh, yes. The stranger, great movie. Yeah. Speaking of communists. That's when I slept on my left hand and, well, you know. And I made a whole movie about jerking off and not You know, Edward G. Robinson and I, we used to jerk each other off after takes on the stranger. It was a very intimate relationship between me and Eddie. Yeah, see, Orson, get jerking, see?

I hit the G spot a few times. What do you think the G stands for? Come on, fat boy, I jerked you off. Edward G. Spot Robinson. Oh, God. By the way, he was a Nazi and the stranger. Oh, yes, not a communist. He's a Nazi, that's right.

The G stands for glory. Dude, so he goes to Europe, and they give him this fucking, they come back and they give this, it's kind of a, it's a very funny scene where like he's like not paying attention. They made this whole fucking party, this trophy. And again, who's the society editor? Here, take this. And he kind of takes the thing and leaves. Basically, he's gotten engaged to the president's niece, dude.

What a prize piece. It's kind of outrageous, man. Yeah. I mean, I was trying to do the math here. Who was the president at the time? It's one of three. It's fictional. I don't know, but I don't know, they don't give you a specific year, do they?

No, but I mean, it's either Taft, Roosevelt, or fucking, uh, bu, blah, but Woodrow. Well, she says Uncle John. Yeah. That well-meaning fathead. So Fat-Head makes me think Taft, but that's not a John. No, no, it's fake for sure, but I'm trying to figure out who the standard is, who it's standing in for. The thing is, any American president wouldn't be up to Charles Foster Cain's standard. Yeah.

Yeah, that's true. There is a great line where they're like, I think it's Lee Lind or somebody says that president's niece. Before she gets through with him, she'll be a president's wife. Oh, yeah. Which is pretty great. Of course, awkwardly foreshadowing his total political washout, which is fucking great. But yeah, so he does. wind up marrying this woman.

And there's like a little bit of marital bliss, but I love how little sweetness there is in this movie because it's just everything is ugly and gray and terrible because this guy's a monster. It's like, it's like five minutes like two, one and a half minutes of like, I love you, baby. And it's like, I'm a fucking piece of shit. It's just. Yeah.

Well, I mean, part of his problem is like you look at how Trump operated. I mean, and again, this is a totally different era. Maybe back in the 30s or 40s you needed prior elected official experience so he's running for governor in this movie and that's the stepping stone to president. If he ran

straight for president, I don't know. He might have took it. Yeah. Yeah. If it was just like famed newspaper tycoon runs for president. Right. And the fact that like that's right, I've got my famed newspaper tycoon. I'm running for president. Oh, wait, no. I'm a fucking loser again. Mike Boobo Blumber.

Like he was mayor. Oh, that's right. He was fucking the shitty mayor. Yeah, I took the right steps. I was the mayor of this fair fucking city for way too long. Listen, just like Charles Foster Kane, I also sunk hundreds of millions of dollars in Florida for no reason. No more syrup and sodas.

No more syrup. We're done with syrup. I'm sick and tired of this boo-boo Blumber trying to institute a soda policy in this fair city. And I, Charles Foster Kane, will tell you, you, you can drink as much soda as you'd like, in a chalice as large as you'd like.

I also think it would be, I mean, there's a lot of parallels to Bloomberg as well. So it's like, he's like a tiny citizen cane, a citizen candy cane, if you will. Oh, come on, everybody. That's great. Citizen candy cane. You're right, though. I bet also Bloomberg definitely tastes like peppermint. Why don't you fucking suck it and find out?

My fingers. So, yeah, you know, he gets married to the president's niece, and this is the marriage where you have the famous montage of you see the marriage to disintegrate through them at the breakfast table, which is just incredible. Which Trump himself said was a very striking in his interview with Errol Morris. Dude, let me tell you, Kevin, you sent that video around, you were like, here's a thing where Errol Morris interviewed Trump about citizens. Kane, I got through like his first two sentences and stopped watching it. I watched the whole thing. I did too. The ending is the payoff because it's less like, and Rosebud, for whatever reason, that word

just worked. It would sound like a good ending and they went with means nothing means nothing. Oh really? Yeah. Oh, what a stupid fucking idiot. You can tell more, because it comes with like, what would you give uh it's like erl morris off camera obviously he's like what would you what advice would you give to charles foster cane he's like i would tell him find another woman man and and like

morris is just like oh i got this dumb son of a bitch oh that's great that's fantastic dude fucking ero morris by the way with these chippotle commercials that's humiliating what are you talking about are you kidding you don't know these no i don't know this this is jersey specific maybe it's it's it's it's just some it's a series of commercials of people who work at Chipotle or maybe actors, probably people who work in Chipotle, I would guess, because it's Arrow, I think it's at least faux directed by Earl Morris. The thin brown line. You got these people serving up burritos talking into the fucking Interritoron.

What are you talking about? They're just like, oh, yeah, well, it's like, so why do you think Chipotle has such a great flavor? Well, it's because we cook it early in the morning and we make sure that that, da-da-da-da-da. Yeah, it is fantastic. Chipotle. It's like, it's a Chipotle commercial directed by Errol Morris. So why did you torture all those person who's in Abu Ghraib? Oh, I'm sorry.

Wrong script. Chipotle. What did you want? What'd you like at Chipotle? Can I just break your brains? What will be done with Errol Morris at Chipotle just now? Okay. When I tell you that this series, Errolom Morris takes...

Series? There's a series of commercials. Yeah. Oh. Takes view... It's called Behind the Foyle. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah.

What is the description, though? No, Errol Morris takes viewers behind the foil. Chipotle. Yeah, he's just Why? To what end? This is where they contaminate the meat. It's right here. Look at that. God, from the director of the thin blue line comes

Chipotle commercials. So you don't think you ought to wash your hand. Oh, great. That's fantastic. That way it gets its really brown flavor. Was it a real coming of different points of his career when he was interviewing that one Chipotle

employee who did a couple of really basic scientific studies and was like, oh yeah, the Holocaust definitely did not happen. That kept happening, actually, sadly. He had to cut out everyone in Chipotle is a Holocaust denier and he's like, this is ridiculous. I think Mr. Death now works at Chipotle. His life was such a disastrous ruin. That's probably true. I hope Mr. Death is indeed dead. He's the deceased Mr. Death. Yeah, he's probably dead. I would imagine. That movie was a while ago enough, right? That dude was old in that movie. It's like 99 or something. By the way, good movie.

Very good movie. Oh, yeah. It's great. So, yeah, so he is married. This is Emily Norton is this character's name. Yes. The woman that he marries. So I guess it's, well, it's the niece, though, so maybe sharing of a name doesn't work. I was going to say, oh, is President Norton. John Norton. That is a president name. Yeah, but from like a Harrison Ford, John. By the way, according to IMDB, Fred A. Lictor Jr. is still alive. Get out of town. He's working at Chipotle. 1984.

Yeah, he could work at Chipotle, totally. Wow, 1943? I thought he was much older than that. Yeah, he just looked like shit, I guess. I guess. I mean, ugly on the inside, ugly on the outside. The world did come around to his ideas there. He sure did.

I mean, it's living at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. But yeah, so then, you know, there's this whole montage showing. like how him and his obsession with working at the newspaper is what is destroying their marriage this is all the table. I love the fucking reveal of she's totally trolling him by reading the

chronicle at the breakfast table. Oh yeah. Fuck, that's great. Just spitting right in this asshole's face. It's fucking awesome. And this is like, you know, she's they have one argument and this is the great she sets him up with people will think and he goes, what I tell them to think. Yeah, man.

Great fucking Orson Wells. yelling there. And then they mentioned around here, too, the same idea. This is, I think this is Leland is narrating this part of the film. And this is where he's talking about a Kane wanted to be loved but couldn't love in return. That's fucking Donald Trump, man. Well, it's Trump again. The big thing is the calling, call him an anarchist.

Yes. When he tells everybody like, just call him an anarchist, that'll get him away. Yeah. And call Kane an anarchist? No, when Kane is telling people to get. If you want to get rid of people, if you want to fucking slander them, just call them an anarchist. People Antifa are out there. You're reading the Chronicle.

You know, it's a radical socialist Lib Dem. It's a Lib Dem. It's a Lib Dem. Watch out. Joe Biden is clearly a socialist. It's clear as they, folks. I fucking wish, man. Come on.

And where does Joe Biden get his vicious socialist agenda? Well, obviously, it's reading the Chicago Tribune, which I do not own but that son of a bitch roger ebert wrote for the i'm a cisco man through and through i mean roger what were you thinking with those two thumbs we may never know that's i anyway now i have to watch now i have to watch this orson wells thing or uh jesus donald trump thing uh so when ebert and ciscoll both pans sergeant Kabuki man, NYPD. Very unfair.

Very unfair. I love the sequence we get of him when he winds up meeting who becomes his second wife, Susan Alexander. He's like, it's kind of hilarious because like I don't know what Charles Kane is doing at that moment because he's like

standing on the sidewalk appears to be like waiting for a bus, but like that dude doesn't wait for a bus. And like a carriage comes by and goes through a puddle and you just see this woman coming home and she sees the carriage drive by and starts laughing at something

and we turn and it's revealed that Kane has been splashed by this carriage. Really great just seeing this guy kind of have to eat shit for a second. It's sad that you don't get that so often. You used to see more people get humiliated easily. I wish you got more people

tripping on the street like getting like a Corvette goes by and a fucking puddle gets splashed. up at somebody. Well, that's what I miss, man. Going outside and watching people get fucking eat shit. There's not enough mud anymore these days. I think we should drill up the streets. Get that pavement

out of here. It is crazy though. You realize we're on like what month eight of this fucking fiasco. I've lost all sense of time. I don't know what's going on at this point. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's funny though because like Steve you were saying like you realize you miss those

like day to day things like you know, whenever we would gather to record the show together, there was always like, I fucking saw this dude on the train, yada, yada. And to add to that, though, another thing that I realized I had not felt in so long and it was incredible was the notion of being made to feel like incredibly socially awkward about what somebody said. Like we were at a distanced thing with neighborhood people and this dude just casually. mention that he loves blowing rails just doing coat wait did he say it like that though no it was like it was a

something something and I was you know snorting a lot of whatever and like you just said it so casually and so comfortably and I was so uncomfortable in that moment like it was so awkward and I was like man I miss socially awkward

situations like this because I just had to be like yeah man fucking yeah no it's always ask God any in those situations just to make just to put them on the spot a little bit yeah but then like I just I had to fucking what if there's a follow-up well that I yeah sure let's go to the bathroom I don't want to do coke I don't have the heart for that fair I'll drop dead fair enough look at me so she's got a tooth she's got a toothache which I think it's like the 1920s equivalent of like being shot in the stomach yes that would put you down

dude, a fucking, a toothache, you're in real fucking trouble. That's what he's doing outside this pharmacy. It's like, oh, the medicine is, you know, poor people don't get it, but I can troll for some tail there, dangle some medicine above their face. Yes. Yes, the best place to pick up women

is the sickly spaces. You're going to be okay. It's just a toothache. Are you a dentist? They're not invented yet. Are you a dentist? They're not invented yet. He's just like, he's just hanging out at like the exit of a hospital looking for all like the women who are in drama leaving he's an

ambulance chaser and he puts a fucking jimmy hat on instantly it is crazy though because like she doesn't recognize him yeah and you know he she says uh you know oh why don't you go inside i i can put some hot water in your clothes to get the mud off she's like if you wanted some hot water could get you some hot water and I'm like you're just like instantly horny for this older dude who's covered in fucking mud let's be realistic here probably some horseshit but also this proves that his song his theme song was full of shit because I'll bet you a five you're not alive if you don't know his name yeah well this lady's definitely alive well you know like many theme songs dude uh a lot of talk usually full of high

air. I mean, come on, perfect stranger's lyrics, standing tall on the wings of our dreams. They never did that. No. Sean Bon Jovi was not wanted dead or alive. They just wanted him alive. That depends upon where you went. Sure, fair.

And like, he starts to, like, run some fucking 1920s game on this lady by doing shadow puppets. And I'm like, man, I don't know. Also, the, well, you laughing at me made your toothache go away a little bit.

Why don't you look at me now? I'm wiggling both my ears. The fellow who taught me this in boarding school is now the president of Venezuela. Oh, right. Weird thing to say, dude. Okay. That's just dropping his fucking money right in front of him. Oh, absolutely. Also, the whole like, you really like me still? Even if you don't know who I am?

He keeps doing like that, you sure? I mean, look again. Look at me. Okay. Now tell me, you really don't know. know who I am. Well, this is embarrassing for you. Give you a few hints. Famously reviled. Oh, you're Charles Foster Kane. Amazing. I'll give you a hint. It rhymes with Darles Bosterrain. She's also got this weird. It's another creep move on his part because she's talking about like how and he's spending like hours with this woman. And he's, she's talking about how she wanted to be a singer and her mother was like absolutely not and he's like do you have a piano

let's go to the parlor so i can hear you sing and like instantly she's not a powerful i mean she's not awful but she's not a powerful singer or anything like that but i just love that like let's just go to the parlor in the middle of the night you could fucking tickle the ivories for me the spider to the fly yeah i got to tell you i was so relieved when she's like i'm 20 I'm like, oh, thank God. I kept expecting you. I'm like, yep. I'm 14 years old.

I'm having a good time. I just dropped out of intermediate school. Yeah. Like it's 32. I was like, that's totally acceptable, Mr. Kane. But you, I mean, you realize though, like, you know, he is just like totally smitten and blinded by love for this woman. Yes.

Because he's not immediately like, well, this piano playing isn't great. You know, like he's like he's sitting behind her so she can't. see him or anything like I'd be like geez how am I going to get the fuck out of here I mean it's kind of interesting I know he wasn't like lower class since he was a boy but it's interesting that he's gravitating towards this woman

who is very much outside of every circle he runs it yes she is not the niece of a political figure or something yeah absolutely but I mean it just it speaks to what he's at the youth like he's after youth like she's very and they make her very babyish in parts of this movie

you know and it's weird well yeah I mean it is weird though how that changes like I feel like Susan Alexander is kind of the most inconsistent character in the movie that way because I feel like she kind of like

turns on a dime to fit like whatever scenario he's got to be fucking angry about it it evens out more as they like settle into their marriage and everything like that she's very like mallish you know like yeah yeah kind of a that kind of

archetype there and we do see his campaign here and he's doing oh yeah the famous scene with the big fucking it's just him in front of a big picture of himself so good jim w gettys he is talking up a blue streak about this fucking jim gettys dude he's upset well i mean and again we should call him yeah boss jim get i mean the same huh again like the fucking obnoxious parallels my brain was drawing here but the whole thing of like my fucking first day in office i'm demanding that charges be brought against jim gettys and the only thing you're missing is all of madison square garden yelling lock him up exactly and you know jim getty says to um what when he confronts the wind what is it um emily is his wife yeah emily is the wife right yes he says that like he's

mad that like his children have to see the inquirer papers where they draw him in like prison jumpsuit. Yes. Yeah. Interesting detail there. There's very much lock him up for sure. I did like all the t-shirts in the rally that said flimshaw, your feelings. I also love the giant poster.

And it's just like his, it's kind of like a weird, weird frame of him with the double chin. And it's like, they went with that one. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. We took 27 photographs and that was the best one. Exactly. You've got to go up, up, the angle go up. Please. Please, you've got to do me a favor.

Take it again. Take it again. Does it like accentuate his sleazness in that photo? It's kind of, and also the hall is a little bit framed like Triumph of the Will or something. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I think all of the stuff of like the garden that you get around the stage is like a painting. And so like because of that, nothing is moving. So it looks very like still. like you see in Triumph of the Will all the Nazis fucking just like standing very still at attention

watching Hitler fucking flap his gums but again man another line that just it'll send chills down your spine I made no campaign promises because until a few weeks ago I didn't have a chance of winning oh well doesn't that sound like someone's plan He also is like oh yeah you should know every straw poll

gives me a hundred percent chance of winning and then there's like a 1930s Nate Silver somewhere Well, actually, Mr. Kane, you actually have a 7 and 10 chance of winning, which is very good, but doesn't mean Boss Gettys is totally out of the race, we should say. Yeah, so now this is a, it's a 19, whatever, teens Steve Kornacki, and I'm here to tell you that if we go back and we look at specifically New York County, so that's that's Manhattan, okay? Let me just zoom in and by zoom in, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, open up a different picture here I'm going to open a window and get a

fucking eyeglass, a spyglass or something. A fucking telescope out. This is Fivvy Fox, which is an actual fox. He does have oh sorry, Kevin. No, I was just going to say, I was really waiting

for like Charles Foster came to do his speech where he's like, Cab Calloway treated me very unfairly. oh my god you want to know who the real mooture is there is a thing too where he gets back into his

fucking man of the people shit here where he's like you know Charles Foster can this will be an administration for the working man and the slum child I was like man slum child

listen slum child's what else do you have to lose come on the slum child can you vote for me or what come out folks We know I could have had Louise Brooks. You know, we could have had her. Well, because that's basically what's fascinating about this whole scenario is this is Trump's first, what do you call it, campaign, but the pussy tape actually derails him.

You know what I mean? Like it actually works. Yeah. It actually does work, yes. This is, you know, the 1940s electorate actually gives a fuck about moral whatever. that's fornication my friend so as he is sort of wrapping up this speech we have the incredible shot of Gettys

in the rafters looking down and you know the whole rally ends and everybody's going home and the Emily Mrs. Kane here at this point sends the kid home in a car separately because she is going to

185 West 74th Street and it was interesting I was reading about this today when because she's like Because he's like, oh, Emily, why are you taking, why are you sending the boy home? I was like, well, we have to go to 185 West Seventy Ford Street. And initially, you could hear him shit his pants. But, you know, in the editing bay, well, so it would be better to play without. Because I mean, like, literally you have to be like, why would you want to go?

That's a silly place for anyone to go. There's a stupid place. I heard that there's muggers there. They mugger when you get out of the car. We shouldn't go there. I don't want to get mugged. there is a great Wells bit of acting

right there when she says that for the splitest of split seconds, you see his eyes bug out. Oh yeah, yeah. And in that like quarter of a second, it's like, do you chill. So she, they arrive at the place and

a maid opens the door. And she's like, there's a whore living in this home. There's a whore living in this home. Dude, it's kind of crazy, dude, because like this housekeeper totally fucks it all up right from the jump, like, because she opens the door and she's like, come right in, Mr. Kane. You open this door and you see this dude like with another lady. Like you got to be

like, can I help you? Oh, he's getting into threesomes. Oh, no. Great. If your, if your wife is like, hey, let's just go to this place. Oh, I don't know, 1804, 74th Street or whatever the fuck it is. On the way there, you have to be, you got to come clean. There's just no, the jig is clearly up. You've got to let it let it go. But he's just sort of like, I don't know, maybe everyone will be dead when we get there. I don't know. What are you intending to happen here?

You know what it reminded me of was that Seinfeld storyline where George tells Susan's parents that like he bought a house of the Hamptons and they're like, cool, you should take us there sometime like this weekend. And like, it's like how far do you ride

out that lie? Listen, man, I'm not even getting in the cab. It's like, Oh, you said the exact address? Well, let's just go home and discuss what's going on. He's just hoping that she's out at the opium den or something. There's nobody home. This is another apartment that I have to do my writing. I'm writing a novel.

I write the entire paper, honey. Don't you know that? Those are different names I use just to keep it fair. But the most unexpected part is that not only is Susan Alexander home, fucking boss Jim Gettys himself is there. And I didn't notice this because I have not watched this movie in a very long time. Probably since

whenever it was I bought the Blu-ray that I have now. So we're talking like maybe like five years or something like that, maybe more. So I was saying this to Eric off the air. One of my like comfort things now

is like if it's too late to put on another movie and I'm like kind of too lazy to like, this is very supremely lazy. turn the TV input over and set up playing a video game or something I'll just turn on Perry Mason on Amazon like the old show

this guy who plays Jim Gettys is the actor Ray Collins who plays like the often put upon homicide detective that Perry Mason is always giving a hard time to and he's like he's so much older

on that show that I just like I didn't put two and two together he looks great here he's also in Magnificent Amberson. He's amazing. He's great in the scene. And I do love Eric your point. I mean, yes, it is very Trumpian lock her up, but it is also hilariously quaint 1930s-ish where he has to be like, I can't believe you had to make my children look at me in convict stripes. And it's like, it's a little quaint. It's a touch cute. Like, dad is a convict stripes. I can't believe it. Well, it looks like a beagle boy. And this is where you can see

the brilliance of him as a politician, even in his denouncement of Kane, he props himself up as the family man. Kane doesn't have any children. No, he's got one kid. Oh, right, yeah. He's got that son. The thing that's weird is you never

get the moment in their life, in his life. And I guess it kind of makes it a little bit. Again, I think Chris, it's like you said, it's something that's not directly about him, but like, we should say that Emily and the son at some point in the timeline, die

in a car accident together. It's just kind of weird to not have in the movie, but it's an interesting choice at the very least. Well, it's also, because the point of the movie is like, how much can you know a public figure? Like, if you're not an investigator, like he gets farther because he's an investigator, but like, even with that power,

how much can you really know a man? And you really can't know that much beyond just like the, the surface interactions he's had with other people. And it's also kind of like Roshaman here with the like, okay, I'm hearing Leland's side of the story and maybe what I'm seeing is not 100%

filling out everything. That's also a big part of the argument with McQuitz is, the structure, the Roshamon-like structure, I think, is more of Wells' idea versus McAwitz, and that was a big part of their split, I guess. Oh, is that right? That's what I wrote from. I've been, like,

dipping into the Bogdanovich interviews and a few other books. I mean, the Meng stuff is very interesting. I learned stuff about him today that I hadn't known like that he was a supervising producer on three Marks Brothers movies, three really good ones? Like horse feathers, monkey business,

and he was fired off a duck soup. He also wrote an incredible Robert Siodmak movie called Christmas Holiday with Gene Kelly. It's incredible. You should seek it out right now. It's incredible. But so that's interesting that. So Mankowitz, Herman J.

Yeah. Had beef with the structure of this film? They were just, there was just two, Because the way it happened from what the interview said is they both wrote scripts, their own full script. And Mancowicz of Citizen Kane. And Mancoitz sent his two Orson Wells and he used what he wanted. And yeah, he just diced up the structure and made it his own thing. And apparently Manc knew, you know, William Randolph Hearst pretty well.

They used to go to all these parties. And at these parties, they used to call him the Voltaire of Central Party. West. And so he was ingrained in this social scene that he betrays by making this move. That's very interesting. Which I assume will be a huge part of Mank. Well, apparently he was kicked out of a party from Hearst. And like there was a falling out before the movie was made. This movie might have been like a vengeance kind of a thing. That makes total sense. That's what I would do. Absolutely. So yeah, like whatever like, you know, uh, what you would call it Gettys plays his card. And it's it's so fucking great how he handles.

this like Kane still thinks he can win here because he basically like listen if you don't drop out of the race tonight and like he even says like you got to leave town too as like a fucking old west thing is you're gonna get the fuck out of here dude exactly get the shit get the shit out of here and if you're going to do that it'll be on every paper that's not yours tomorrow and he's like well I don't care that's great I love I love it that's awesome hey cool no I wanted I wanted this to be revealed I was going to tell you tonight I can't believe this is you're doing me a favor Gettys. I'm actually laughing right

now. This is like Trump and Cuomo and the fact that like both Cain and Trump fuck off to Florida. They do. Yeah, no, this is great. This is awesome. Oh, hey, hey, hey, great. Totally excellent.

Him fucking screaming after Gettys down the, like, because Gettys is like, all right, I bet you don't, uh, I I bet you fucking care way more you're playing it off right now. So all right. I'm going to publish that story. Have a good night fuck face. And he walks out and he's like, do you know who I am? I'm Charles Foster Kane. And he's yelling after him down the stairs and everything. You know, as soon as I'm in office, Gettys, I'm putting you in jail.

And he just goes, Sing, Sing, Gettys, Sing. I'm going to send you to Sing sing. That's amazing. It's fucking great. And like, I don't know, Kane. You're, You're fucking screaming in this boarding house or apartment building or whatever. Not great. Maybe you buttoned it up about jailing your political opponents. Mr. Kane, you cannot buy Sing Sing. I'm sorry. I don't know who told you you could.

They are ill-informed. You can't buy it. But where will I put two of every animal that I have? It sounds like an arc is what you're looking for, sir. And this is a prison and we don't sell it. First of all, there was animal farm. and now there's going to be animal prison. Sir, they're very different things.

One, you know what? Never mind. Here, give me money and you can have the prison. Also, pro tip, if you're going to an apartment and making this huge charade to ruin a man's life, you need another dude there with you because she can go south real quick. Luckily, for Gettys, it doesn't. But he even's like, oh, I know I made a campaign promise to lock you up, Gettys, but I'm going to break your neck tonight or whatever he says, which is an awesome line.

But again, like, it's a big dude, man. you want another guy there just in case. You don't know what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, uh, what, what, uh, what, what, uh, what, what, uh, what, what, uh, what, he's, he's also crazy, because, like, you, you, you can't imagine nowadays that, like, the governor of a state could just go somewhere in the middle of the night. Yeah. His crew would be a, a Leland, the drama critic and Bernstein the banker. Like, what I? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm talking about it because Getties is springing the trap. You need some backup, dude. I guess, but like, you don't see any tufts in the cane like

Arsenal, do you? No, but he's a big dude. This is what Steve is saying is this dude Orson Wells, big tall fucking Orson Wells, is screaming and threatening this fucking tiny ass Ray, whatever the actor's name was, like

I would fucking roll up with some pipe hit and motherfuckers, man. Like, you know how big this guy is. Yeah, especially if Gettys is the kind of like corrupt boss politician that Kane is alluding to, you would assume he's got a few guys with some sticks. Some goons.

Get some hired goons. Show me like an oaf that's at least waiting out in the car or something. Oh yeah. Fucking car oaf. I love it. Okay, here it is. Poster,

car oaf. Oh, shit. I wish Canon was still around because car oaf would be. I don't know. That could be our little project is car oaf. I like it like this big

fucking pipe hit motherfucker that's also a wheel man. It's like drive meets, I don't know, toxic adventure. Like I thought When you said that, I was like car off. I thought it was like a reality series like top gear,

except for people who don't know nothing about cars. Or it could be a cash cab situation. Ooh, you're in here with the car oaf. They have that already, Chris. It's called Jay Leno's garage. Oh, that's still awesome.

They also have Steve's version of car off. It's called fucking carpool karaoke. Oh, wow. Dude. How about that? Wait, wait. Let me get the song back out. There is a man.

A certain late night host. and for the poor you may be sure he doesn't do anything he shows nancy's blows his fridge what he is a cat yeah yeah we're having so much fun aren't we oh yeah we having so much fun yeah let's let's keep on singing Mr. Kane let's just keep on singing in his carpool

you know Mr. Kane you get a lot of bad press but you're a lot of fun oh man let me tossle your bald head of hair now that was Fallon I know I know it's just amalgamation it's we are legion

it's all the capitalist class so of course the Chronicle prints gubernatorial candidate found in Loveness there's the article the editor-in-chief of the Chronicle was jerking off

when it went to press you're just so thrilled he's like oh it's awesome I've been working for fucking years with this fucking B team that I was left with because that son of a bitch bought off my

18 reporters here it comes the fucking death blow on this guy's campaign it's also amazing that it's pretty rude that they keep calling uh miss alexander a singer in quotes it's like you know what dude just take the quotes out it's nicer not to do that well it's kind of great i love the fact that that's what gets under his skin so much he's like and then i think leilander someone said like he worked so hard to get the quote the quotes removed basically by making her a legitimate singer yeah like oh hello i haven't met you yet are you mrs singer no actually my name is susan davies so it's uh marla singer and you met me at a very interesting time but then you see canes uh claim it's kind of great that you get the uh the newspaper folks

back at the inquirer and it's like it holds up a thing like cane wins in a landslide or whatever it is and they're like well guess we have to go with the other one and it's fucking fraud at polls douche chill and a half man just fucking right down my spine yep it's and you know I will never concede actually

hmm awesome yes and that lady who has to tell the incoming person there that it's that give it a go well she's in my pocket too so she's going to fucking sit on her thumbs and not do anything for weeks too yes

Yeah, yeah, when are you going to ascertain the election results, you fucking crooked government employee? Yeah, we're still at November 18th, that we're still not entirely sure if we're allowed to have another president. Well, she hasn't ascertained it. We didn't fucking ascertain it yet with this lady. She can't fucking ascertain it. She doesn't know her ascertained from a hole in the ground. We're just not sure. You know, we're going to wait and see.

We're just going to wait and see. But during this whole thing of him losing this election, I love the title being Citizen Kane. Like, that's, despite his riches, despite his advantages, all he'll ever attain is just being a regular citizen. Certainly better than the original title, American. Oh, really? I thought it was war. What is it good for? Absolutely not.

You got it right out the, hua. Original title American cane or just the movie was called American? American. Dumb as fuck. Yeah. Dumb as fun. I finished my first draft of the, of the screenplay.

It's called Thirsty Hurstie. Thirsty Hurstee. That I'll accept. That first movie you mentioned, my Johnson's too big is pretty funny title. Oh, too much Johnson. Yeah, dude. I do love the next movement of the movie,

because it does, I mean, this is an incredibly political movie, but it is really more about power and about like the about legacy and all this stuff and like yeah the the the ends he goes through to make this poor woman an opera singer which she does not want to be is just like it's such an interesting little episode for the film because it's like a really twisted version of the florence foster jenkins story yes because it's like they're not humoring her she pretty much knows that she's no good like it's him humoring himself. So it's like if

Florence Foster Jenkins' husband was the dude that was like bankrolling all of it for himself. It's as if my wife was incredibly rich and powerful and owned the New York Knicks. And she's like, Steve, you always wanted to be on the Knicks. Now you're on the Knicks. And I played 20 minutes a game and I got fucking railroaded every night.

Not only that. They would build Madison Square Garden for you to play the Knicks in. And everyone's like booing me. And I'm like, I get zero points. Like zero 0.0 assist, 10 steals against me. And that fucking guy is ruining the team.

And there's all sorts of blog posts and shit, but I got to do it every night because that's how it is. It is truly exquisite, though. It's another great bit of editing where they're like, I don't know if he's giving an interview or if he's speaking with Susan Alexander or whatever it is

or maybe to Leland. Kane is talking with someone in the scene and they're like, well, you know, what happens if you know, you can't get her, you know, into Carnegie Hall or, you know, wherever. And he's like, you know, they say, like, will you build her an opera house? And he's like, oh, gentlemen, oh, that won't be necessary. Smash cut to the headline Kane builds opera house.

Like, God damn it, man. I love editing jokes. Yeah, it's so good. Where a cut can make a punchline. It's so awesome. I want to briefly mention that the whole, like, defeat scene where he's in a. his office. Yeah, with all the fucking, all the tape, ticker tape shit,

they thought they had to shoe in. This is where the, you know, the whole under the floor board shot is. It's so incredible. I mean, it is still striking to look at because you just don't see it even often now. You know what I mean? Like at the time, it's just like, yeah. And this is a, I mean, it's also you're seeing, you're seeing too, like, they built ceilings for these sets, which is incredible.

I mean, the amount of money they had for, like, in the studio production is pretty amazing. They don't go outside that much, but the way they utilize the interior is pretty amazing. Absolutely. And there's also the great line to this is where Leland says to him, you talk about the people as if they

belong to you. Yes. And this is that, you know, you realize because we're back in the newspaper office too where all of these related conversations have happened and you're like, oh, okay, he's now, it's completely gone. Like this dude is fucking lost. And this is what he reveals the threat of the,

of unions and the fact that they might not need him anymore and all this stuff. And like, because he's like, yeah, you think you're a great friend of the working movie, you give them only what they can have, you know, like our friend Mr. Bezos over there, you know what I mean? It's like, it's whatever, whatever trickle down you get and oh, now, I, I donated $50 million as a big, fucking, whoop, I gave a fucking homeless guy a buck, same difference. You know what I mean? And the Susie thing is a perfect encapsulation of like, he, you can will, if you have

this much money, you can will popularity. And you can will everything, but you cannot will love. They're not going to love you. It doesn't matter. Yep. And this is also, Leeland is like, hey, and by the way, dude, like, this whole thing kind of sucks and I don't want to be around for the aftermath. So can I go be the drama critic at the Chicago paper and he relents and he's like, you know. What a powerful stance from Leeland, by the way?

It's like, yeah, you can, you fucking snake, you lion sack of shit. You can continue paying me in Chicago. Oh, you can go drown with those Polacks. I love the line, because he's like, whenever you feel you need to get there, you can go. And he's like, well, well, Saturday after next be okay? Like, he's clearly, you know, planned this whole thing out,

which I just love. But yeah, so he has built this opera house. We are in Chicago now. Just the, man, the expense incurred. for her to be terrible. It's amazing. Do you think that Coke brothers did this at all? Because didn't they donate one of the new Metropolitan Opera?

Maybe not the Opera House, but another theater. Yeah, there's a Coke theater there. Oh, by the way, we love the Coke's now because that guy was like, oops, I'm sorry I broke the world. Oh, yeah. Oh, wait, did you apologize? Yeah, he did a whoopsie dopsies. Yeah. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. Oh, I'm so sorry. That's cool. Oh, and you know what, sir? I'm so sorry for continuing to wish you were dead 10 years ago Exactly I mean Anyway

Is the other one dead I think the other one is dead One of them's the one that survived And the quickening went into the other one The direct sibling or whatever Stubbed my toe and broke the world Sorry sorry Sorry everybody

I'm sorry I'd ruin the country My bad though I'm going to donate a million dollars To blind people or something Thank you Thank you so much though thank you these these fucking people don't get me started man um it is it i it all kind of culminates on her her debut oh which is horrific you get some hilarious opera so i mean truly grueling

the look at opera scenes where she has to sing this guy is telling her she's pure shit but i love this guy you can just tell from his face it's like you're not even really hearing him he's like no no no sing like this and he's like oh my fucking god will you stop sucking dude it's kind of great because it's like what these like fucking all these people that have surrounded themselves with this orange idiot for the last four years haven't really realized because this opera guy is like fuck dude like coaching this woman and she's gonna go make this performance i am going to be humiliated in my own circle i'm never going to have another job again you know like all these fucking lawyers yeah all these non

Juliani lawyers that are like running out there to do all the shit and you see all these like law firms being like actually oh maybe it's bad for business these fucking turds dude at least this opera guy is like man she sucks

I can't do anything about it and my career is going to be ruined due to my association with this and instead of like being able to get out Kane is like nope I fucking own you two buddy five shots in this whole movie is the up when you see the guys in the rafters oh my god and the guy just turned and like the p you knows that is so good it's devastating that p you knows

it is so good but then he just uses like his media empire to blitz everything she goes on tour and it's like every headline of every inquirer across the country's like and this is what's funny about it it's fucking headline front page news about the fucking opera coming to town It is amazing, though, like, if you've got, like, if you want to fake a talent, fake acting, that at least you could do, sort of, like, opera is so specifically, like, an athletic endeavor that you, most human beings can't even, like. Yeah, I mean, most of it is singing in a foreign language. Exactly. That's, my wife pointed out, she's like, she actually can hit some notes that are pretty hard to hit. It's the pronunciation is awful.

It just, yeah, it's not something that anyone, like, just anyone could do. like you're acting sure or even like you know rock music sure you can just pretend you're singing but like it's it's very difficult to fake opera i don't think you'll be doing rock music uh after that opening night is when kane drops by the chicago office uh and he has not spoken to leeland in many years and he drops in and they're like oh mr leelins in the back we're ready to go to to print with the big debut from your wife's show but one thing missing is the review as Leeland is still writing it

and he goes in and Leelan's fucking passed out. Man, sleeping face first on a typewriter? My God, that is a drunk that I have never been in. It smells like a recycling center in his little office there. So we might not get it tonight. This is kind of like how everyone nowadays is getting super drunk and passing out of front of a computer screen. I mean, kind of the same thing.

I guess, though, I mean, probably a little easier to pass out in front of a computer than a typewriter, though, man. Well, a computer's got more going on. I'll give it that. But so, Kane, you know, he's having... Hold on, let me... Hold on, so he's got the review here. Let me peel this one piece of paper back. A paper called Pornhub.

What? He's got some tabs open here. Oh, look at the Pornhub Tribune. Look at that. Oh, what a... That's... What are all these papers? They all say tweet on it.

This page just describes a woman's negligee and your ankle. Oh, my goodness. A stepbrother and a step knee, step, a step daughter. I was sitting next to each other on a bus, scandalous stuff. He's making Bernstein like read this review and Bernstein's like, yeah, this is really uncomfortable because it's a really bad review. She sucks shit. okay boss it says she sucks shit and is bad and is amateurish it's kind of embarrassing too because

he's like he's reading and he's like a new low and then he stops and he's like uh yeah that's all he wrote and then cane grabs the paper out of the typewriter and reads like the rest of what he's written and then man this dude just fucking finishing this guy's bad review of his wife's fucking singing ability oh it's and her cooking is terrible and she never close is the cabinets. She's always hounding her great husband to come to bed when he's not tired. It is great. And I mean, it's like this weird, like, it's similar to him in Gettys, right?

Like, he can't lose. So he's like, oh, you're going to write a bad review? I'm going to write a fucking terrible review. That shows me that you're a piece of shit. And then like his wife is, of course, devils. Well, then next, obviously, he fires him, which is a huge deal. That's a fucking great line, too, because he's, you know, Leland is like, you know Charles I didn't think we were talking you know and he just goes sure we are Jedediah

you're fired fucking great delivery from Orson Wells on that line I have to say pretty rad we do like a cut back to one of those interviews where he's old and I don't remember the entire scene but I wrote down that when he was described when Leland was describing Zanadu he was like what was that place you was writing from what was that place uh Shangri-law, El Dorado, sloppy Joe's. Yes, sloppy Joe's dude, got a big laugh in this house. It is great because he does that whole thing. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's a, it's Shannon to do.

I knew the whole time. He has, I knew the whole time. I'm not seen all, I promise. Well, no, he, what he's saying, though, he's like, yeah, he says, you know, he says to him, you know that I knew the whole time. Yeah. You know, like I'm not, it's not that he's senile, that he's like. Disrespecting of the whole lot. And he's like, eh, you know that I'm full of shit.

Damn it. But this is also where those nurses come up and he's like, one is enough, which is great. This young doctor has the idea he wants to keep me alive. By the way, the sloppy Joe castle in Florida, maybe I'm packing my bags. I like this. Come on down to sloppy Joe's castle.

You're going to want to swim in this moat. No indoor plummet at Swampy Joe's. castle outhouses as far as the eye can see guy just jumps in with a bun into the sloppy joe moat he's like the buns do nothing dude that sounds like a double dare activity that I would love to participate man up with a man witch

it's been quite a while since I've had a sloppy Joe oh we we uh throw it into the dinner rotation every now and again it's usually it's usually with um we'll do like either maybe like a lean meat like a turkey meat pork or something or it's we'll do like protein crumbles and stuff. Yeah oh yeah like beyond meat's good. It's rare

but that's a nice that gets you right back to childhood right there. I like it with corn. Really? Ooh. Interesting. A little sweetness to it. We do a little we'll cook up some mushrooms in there. Oh yeah dude. They just legalized that.

Oh my God. So then, so we go back to the AC here. It's the El Rancho Lounge is where Susan Alexander has been propping herself up for these remaining years. Is there like a cat house or a bar in the Nevada desert called this because there should be? The El Rancho Lounge? Yeah, I feel like there should be. I mean, I feel... I'm sure there's probably a lot of El Rancho lounges around the country.

I would like that. I would like to see that. You know, I would rather be able to go down to AC, see some washed up our opera stars trying to sing than instead of seeing like a Joe Piscopo. He's got a comedy club down there, I believe. Is it still in business? That's the question. I got to Google it because I can tell you, watch it. We don't know anyone that's ever performed there. Well, no, certainly not.

It's probably just a vanity project for him. Yeah, we don't associate with those comedians, dude. I feel like every S&L member should have had a failed nightclub. There should be a Catans. Dude, like a Farrell's. You know,

there should be, I think like all the big names should have had one, I feel. Well, Lovets had one. Love it's had one. Dangerfield was never on SNL,

so that doesn't count. No. That was a terrible club, though. What about a Hutzels for for Melanie Hutzel for sure? Oh, yeah, I'm not like that. I'm not finding his compliments.

club, but I see that he got divorced in 2006. Burned down 20 years ago. The marriage of the comedy club. Hold up Joe Piscopo.org loading up right now. I mean, go to get the hell out of here. Cairn, curtains. Come on. Oh, it's curtains for you, man.

I love it. That's pretty great. What the fuck is. Dude, man, you're playing private parties in the Hamptoms back in September. What are you doing? Of course. He doesn't believe in the vid. He doesn't believe in the vid.

He probably doesn't believe in the vid. But even if he did, though, a Joe Piscopo stand-up special out in the Hamptons talk about definitely not a super spreader. I kind of want it to be like a big troll for him and call it the super spreader tour. My friends, Joe Piscopo, is on cameo as an FYI. Oh, fuck. You better get up your trailer games, gentlemen. I got a fucking win now. Steve, obviously, you know, we're two and almost a half hours into this episode.

So there's no VHS trailer game this week. What is the situation, though, dude, for this We Love Movies Month? I can tell you that there will be three. Okay. Oh, yeah. Now I'm talking. Spread across Maine Epson, Patreon, FYI. Love it.

Fucking love it. God, damn it. It's going to test my metal. So she's wasted, and this is where she's like, you know, I never wanted the opera house. You know, he fucking made me do these, the singing lessons and whatnot. Great, a companion to this movie is Velvet Goldmine, which steals the structure almost exactly. Oh, yeah. The Tony Colette pieces are exactly this kind of a thing.

You know, I've never seen that. It's my wife's favorite movie, and that's what she brought it up. It's her, to her credit, but it's it, it is really interesting to watch that movie as a Citizen Kane companion. Right. Yeah. Definitely influence. I haven't seen that in a long time. So this is, you know, when Susan tells, you know, her side of the story with the opera stuff, and this is where you get this totally great shot of her as the curtains are coming up.

the camera is just sort of left in the like really like you know you know in the back of the stage like almost at the wall of the theater you know you see this great curtain come up and everything and the lights it's so fucking awesome but then you just get more of this horrendous fucking singing and a lesser movie would make her a joke you know what I mean like it's very easy to make this character the punchline oh this dim-witted whatever can't sing it's like you see how excruci it is for this person. You know what I mean? Yep. Yeah, exactly. So she totally fucking sucks. And this time around, this is where you get like the great shit of like Bernstein falls asleep during the production. Leland doing the great tearing up his program, which Homer Simpson does later on. Yes.

In The Simpsons, which is so awesome. Again, just like seeing, I mean like the amount. just like this the homer one like i just mentioned like so they're not all mr burns centric but my god the citizen kane references on the sims right like mr burns obviously having the same upbringing of uh being taken from his real parents let's roll yeah let's roll um oh sorry but also in met i rewatched magnificent ambersons as well and uh i believe it's joseph cotton when he was a young boy george in that movie is a and he's like whipping townspeople from his carriage stop saying yeah you know who my dad is

and he's dressed with the kind of like a fancy boy he's got like a kind of like a kilt-ish thing and he's got the long curly hair reminded me of uh monte burns versus i guess groundskeeper willie's father i don't remember oh no it's the irish uh the irish guy running the bumper cars and that's what he's fucking the great gag of him laughing for like four days oh What was I laughing about? Oh, that crippled Irishman. I was just thinking of Mr. Burns' debate in like, atoms. One, two, three.

Yes. I love it. I mean, it just, it's everywhere the fucking influence, which is, I mean, also, I'm sure they haven't made a citizen cane, a citizen cane reference on that show in 20 years of positive. It's all fucking, you know, whatever. But to his credit, now the, the, uh, that shot of, uh, uh, Wells, like, clapping like that is one of the biggest mean. games gifts I guess well I mean that was the acting in that scene when you watch it like for real like the whole scene you like you see everything he's thinking which is like this is fucking terrible this is fucking terrible nobody's what why don't what why aren't people loving it

you know what I mean like it's he's fighting himself so hard and like and he doesn't say a word it's amazing well because the other incredible move there too is that when the performance blissfully finishes he's the only one not clapping at first and it's kind of like well of course they'll clap you know and then i love that that's why he's motivated to start clapping only after everyone else stops and it's like keep the party going he has a standing ovation which nobody else is gonna do that's for sure dude and they're just like like you know his like nothing clapping in this huge cavernous opera house while they are just like almost in virtual silence bringing all

of those flowers up to the front row for her, putting him on the stage. Man, it is it humiliating. And so she's fucking furious about this review obviously. The next morning, like she's sitting in a pile of newspapers. They're reading all the reviews and everything.

And she's fucking furious that Leland wrote this thing. And, you know, there's this great moment where you know, Kaine says, you know, admits to, well, I sent him a check for $25,000 after I fired him and it's like oh uh telegram for you mr kane and it's an envelope from leeland and he's returned the trek he's returned the check shredded and then here in it is the declaration of

principles that he held on to decades later just to throw it in this dude's face if i was if i was leeland i would try to copy the check and send him back a shredded copy exactly dude just you got to give a little bit here you got to think a little bit bit. I would cash it and then I would like take 50 bucks and tear it up and put it in that thing like gamut. You can keep your 50 bucks. I'll keep the rest. Oh, I'm destroyed. And it's wild, you know, like he refuses to concede that his wife is terrible at singing opera. And so he just is he, it's this incredibly terrifying moment where he walks up close to her in this room and they cover her entirely in his shadow she's completely blacked out and he just goes uh you will continue

with your singing you know and she's saying like i don't even want to fucking do this but like he refuses to have a failure on his hands be associated with a failure and so she odes on sleeping solution instead this is one great susan alexander moment during this whole thing of where she does like an impression of him and she's like i'm charles foster cane and i can give you anything you want but you got to love me. Oh, yeah. You got to love me. You got to do it.

You got to love me. It is so disgusting. Do you love, love me or just love me? He, you know, the suicide attempt is a wake-up call for him a little bit, you know, and he's like, okay, you don't have to continue singing. He says it's their loss, you know, so it's not a loss in the, in the family. cane depart. And I will not utter the words, I'm sorry. Not even here on your suicide bed.

Sorry. I don't know if it was before or after the suicide, but like you get to see how fucking weird it is to live with this guy. It's like, oh, I thought maybe we'd go for a picnic cut to a 15 caravan to go on this picnic. Yes. And so that's like we get into sort of like

the final thrust of the movie here. Them like as they're older, you know, she just spends years being miserable living in Zanadu. Obviously, She's a very social person, you know, and so she's forced to stay inside this fucking castle compound doing jigsaw puzzles for years on end. And this picnic offering is one of his, like, we're doing a thing you sort of like to do, right? And it's this insane, like 15 cars driving up the beach to settle down, you know, whatever fucking Florida beach this is. I kind of want a little more of the hangers on, you know what I mean?

Not to tell Urs as well as how to fucking cook the steak. but, I mean, like, I just want to see how scummy it gets. Who are these people? Hey, you know, like, I do want to know. Hey, Charlie, you're a little low on gin, just an FYI. I've been sleeping on your couch for 14 months. Yes, I would like you to meet my good friend Prescott Bush and his little boy, George. Howdy.

Hey, Charlie, I have to say, good buddy. I was going to do a quick couple of rounds at the old tennis courts and I noticed there's a dead girl in the pool again. How many methamphetamines, old man? No, okay, well, I'll just have to go to the grocery store. Talk to you soon. Mr. Kane.

Sorry, Charlie, got to go out, get some poppers, ran out. Mr. Kane, Mr. Kane, can I keep her skull and bones for my sorority? Oh, sure. Or wait, fraternity? That was not a meant to dig. That was just me not knowing Greek life. but I mean

there is a line though because she says something about like it's before the picnic idea where she's like hey you know why don't we have some people over it would be fun entertained in this house and whatnot and he's like well as a matter of fact and we just host

50 of your closest friends last week and some of them are still sleeping around somewhere in that like he's like it's totally plausible that there are people living in this man's house that he's oh absolutely hey man you're What's the egg situation right now, man? Oh, great, Susan.

You invited your tweaker friends. Oh, hey, man, I met no disrespect, great Gansby. Do you see me staring at a green light, son? Get the fuck out of here. And then we brought back Cicely into the pen. No, he said there's green. We have foul the light, man. He's got marijuana factory.

Hey, man, just a quick question. Were you hanging out with him? Hitler earlier, because that might be a deal breaker for me. I got a bat man. Does he have one ball or what? Oh, hey man. How's it? Oh, I got into it last night. Sleep it on your couch. Yeah. Oh, you know, I have to say, Charlie, I had some horrendous diarrhea last night. I think one of your wife's cookie friends puts some meat in my sauce. Steered better than the bunker, though.

Oh, fuck, dude. Do you think he survived World War II and just moved to Zanadik. Possibly. That's right. We constructed a... They constructed a fucking tunnel from Berlin to Zanadoon. Everybody was going to do it. Kane was going to do it.

Exactly. Kane can do it. No, I keep telling you, Charlie, I do not need this tunnel built for our friendship. It's fine. Charlie, did you make new coffee? I needed it in the morning. This is leftover from last night. Hitler would be a terrible house guest, dude.

Oh, is this bread yours? Oh, I've got to have a little bit. Oh, I'm going to have a dated breakfast. Okay, very demanding. Honey, do you have any idea when Hitler is going to leave our house? I mean, this is the worst thing he's ever done, honestly. Hey, Dolphy, when you're thinking about taking off, Bob? Hitler's got a fucking RV out back.

He's dumping sewage into the fucking side. Oh, it's a schisephoon. Oh, I'd like to take you out in the desert and leave you for dead. So the whole thing is with this massively orchestrated beach picnic, they get into a real fucking hubbub argument and he hits her. And that's the fucking end of that. And I, again, I was fucking shocked. A, that there wasn't more slapping women because that's what we did in the 1940s, especially in movies.

And B, that it's treated like a real thing that ends a relationship. You know what I mean? Absolutely. It was shockingly treated as the final straw, you know. Because again, that's Clark Gable's just doing it in the first act, you know, just to get a laugh out of the back row. Just to wake her up a bit. Exactly. It's just, and it's, it's impressive that this is part, that, that's part of, like, again, like, abuse is a real interesting piece of this movie, at least from, you know, the, you're talking about the, you know, his abuse as a child, that that's a reason that he is sent away. And B, that his abuse to her is a reason that she has sent away. Again, it's, it's a little uncharacteristic of the time in a great way. It would, yeah, it would be hilarious is after, after he hits her, he's like, all right, I guess I have to sell you. All right.

Just like the parents. Well, they get in... I guess I got to sell you to a bank now. Mr. Thatcher, do you have any context in the women's slave trade? Oh, no, I defaulted on my wife. She'll be staying at J.P. Morgan's house. There is a great...

You know, they have this huge argument. She's packing her bags and whatnot. They're back at Zanadoo. And he says, you know, you can't do this to... Because it's first like, okay, you know, I'm going to stop being an asshole, we'll live however you want to live. You know, I'm going to start living the way, you know, doing the things you want to do, not what I think you should do. And she's like not having it. And he says, you know, and then it changes on a dime and he gets very angry and is like, you can't do this to me.

And she is a fucking killer line right here. I can't do this to you. Oh, yes, I can. And just fucking sashays right out of Zana. It's a great sash a dude. fucking awesome man so awesome busts up the room and oh man this fucking room i like and the staff is just like oh and hitler is just like i left my phone in there can i could oh unta i left my phone in there yeah you know what dalphy you're just going to have to get another

one you better go home to berlin this is getting very uncool oh no she had the best bed i was going to take that bed i have to say the fucking silk sheets that he tears off there. Ooh, hey, Charlie, now that she's unspoken for you, you know, just wondering if Dorothy could give her call. Also, have you seen

my leader Hosen? Sing, Sing, Hitler! I'll send you to Sing, Seng. Maybe I call my friend Walt Disney. Maybe he come over and we have a little fun. Just you wait in a few years, Sing will be killing the people I've been

killing. so she leaves the room freak out happens the whole staff is like man it sucks working here and we get uh we go back to mr thompson there you know and he's back we get to zanadu finally again back where we started in a way um and he's talking to this butler and this dude is like yeah oh rosebud oh yeah i know all about rosebud for a thousand dollars i'll take this guy rules he's like yeah i've been in charge for 11 years i don't give a fuck yep i've been waiting for this day my whole life i've jerked off 16 times since he died i am just going to be cashing in for the rest of my life i've i've stolen so much shit you have no i have like

fucking four parrots in my bag dude it's awesome remember this came out like 79 years ago and we're still not willing to tax the rich it's kind of crazy oh and by the way before anyone uh I don't know. This is kind of just maybe my cross to bear, but before anyone cries about Chris Hardweck's fate, oh, he married into the Hearst family. He did? Is that right? Yeah, that's his, like, newest, youngest bride, which was this, she's like 23 years old at a hearse. And I'm like, dude, you fucking scum back.

Dude, that guy fucking stinks. I'd like to see him in a hearse. Oh, excellent. Jokes, satire, and parody. And if you were upset by that, shoot. yourself out of a cannon. No, no, you guys didn't hear me. A Hearst.

It made sense. I guess he's already in one. Hey, Paul, can I get some Hurst music? He's fucking a Hurst. He's fucking a Hurst. Back to you, Dave. And the number one streaming service, Chris Hardwick will not be on. Speaking of William Randolph Hearst, the Talking Dead.

Bum, boom, boom, bum, bum, bobble-bap, boom-boom-boom-pum-pah, Hurst chat, boom, boom, but see, because the sometimes on Letterman, they'd funk it up a little bit for those theme songs. So I wanted to, I wanted to shake up the bit a little. Hell yeah, dude. There is a crazy thing. So I realize, you know, and it's through no fault of our own, this movie jumps all over the place.

He gets to the Butler before the freak out in the, bedroom it's the butler that's that's the butler story kind of a thing because yes but it's fucking crazy though because it is the most terrifying moment in this movie where the guy is like uh you know oh because thompson says oh did you ever hear him say rosebud and he's like yeah he said it a bunch of times like the time his wife left him before this man has left him out of his mouth there's this smash cut to this parrot screaming it's cool

and because they're doing like the rear projection on you know to have like the view of Xanadu or whatever the special effect is kind of fucked up and you can see through the bird's eyeball it is terrifying and it's a very loud like parrot noise too

it really sets it up it just makes me it really reminds me man like owning birds as pets get right out of town I mean some people enjoy it I can't imagine it I just with the squawking and I had birds as a kid

and it was totally fine and if you like if you have birds now you're good were they making noise like the whole time though sometimes not the whole time I mean does your dog barker nonstop yeah I don't know man but like

just birds freak me the fuck out you put a you put a towel over their cage at night that's it oh try that with that We should say he busts up the room. He stopped by busting up the room by finding a snow globe. He makes it snow and he says Rosebud.

And the butler's like, yeah, give me a grand, which he should get. And the guy's like, well, not for that story. I'm like, fuck you, dude. You don't know what Rosebud means. That's a perfectly plausible explanation. Shut up. You know, but it's a bit on the butler here, though, dude, because you got to get that cold hard cash before you start flapping your gum. But this butler had some line of like, oh, he said a bunch of crazy shit.

there is a great moment in the flip out though that I wanted to highlight where he goes after this bookshelf and he's fucking tearing all these books off the bookshelf and he gets to like the back of a book or something and there's a fucking hidden bottle of booze back there and he looks at it and he's like I like to think that he's so disgusted because it's like cheap like grandpappy nothing liquor or something and he's so disgusted he throws this bottle of whiskey across the room awesome awesome moment dude uh but yeah so that that is not the rosebud you're looking for unfortunately um around here you get all the like the shots of you know the all the storage of zanadu and it looks like we're wrapping things up yeah it looks like the fucking arc of the covenants it does yep absolutely dude i think the arc was fucking in there somewhere it's definitely part of what they're talking about like this is and again like what you're looking at is all this wealth that never even mattered to this guy and all of this money that could have gone somewhere else and all this useless beauty yeah dude exactly like this dude fucking

checked out and like it's all for nothing look at you bezos looking at you anytime now dude it's incredible that like they do this overhead shot over all of the stuff he owns and it does look like a world in itself like even like a cityscape from like the from a bird's eye view and then like in the middle of it is oh yeah rosebud yeah um you know they they have the uh they're going through like some of the collection and it's actually man it's so i never noticed any of this before uh but you know things that this is where i noticed the fucking hilarious welcome back trophy that was kept he has the stove that was in his mother's house like he has purchased that or procured that and that's in his collection and then he's kept all of the jigsaw puzzles that susan alexander did you know but man it i never noticed any of those things but it really got me the stove yeah like what a sad fucker man like it's not just i mean the sled was like his last thought or whatever but like clearly this shit has haunted him all his years you know not just like those last

moment. Never sell your kid to the bank is the rule is the moral of the story here. I mean we've all been tempted, I'm sure. And I know, you know, we're getting into it again. They just announced it here in the city today. Schools are closing back down. Parents

I know you're frustrated with the remote learning. You're frustrated trying to work from home while dealing with the kids. Do not sell your kids to a bank. I know you want to. I know you're like halfway filled out the paperwork. Don't do If you've got to do it, like, throw it in one of those

Coinstar machines, TD Bank has or something. Kid star machines? Kid star. I drop my kid off at the Kidstar machine in the fucking lobby of that grocery store popped out. My kid keeps on coming out the defective end. What the fuck?

I got to put him back in. Here's the thing. You got to flatten that kid out before he put it in that slot. Oh, that's too grubby. I'm going to scrape off this gunk off him and then he'll go through. And you get this, you know, Thompson's just going through, you know, and they're like, what'd you find out about him? Jerry? You know, what have you been doing this whole time, wasting the fucking newsreel people's money or whatever? And he says, you know, he's putting together a jigsaw puzzle. And he says, Rosebud was a piece of a jigsaw puzzle, a missing piece. Right. In his life. Fuck, that's great. You know, and we see it burn up and everything. And it's interesting because the burning of the sled, I always misremember as like the last shot of the movie. but then we in fact leaves Zanadu just the way we came in at the beginning

it just reverses everything no detail about what happened to the monkeys unfortunately but we just go back to burn him either that or the butler is like fucking just really he's selling him to PT Barnum for a fucking song and a half oh absolutely well actually dude

I bet you can get a good price if you were like hey you can't advertise this publicly for like another like five years or so wait for the heat to die down Charles Foster Cain own that giraffe. You could have like a higher admission price probably. Hell, I'll even take the burned

animals. I'll find something to I'll put him somewhere. Don't you worry about it. I do I do really like that book ending of showing like we kind of start with a no trespassing sign and it end with one. And it makes sense if this is a Hearst critique.

Yeah, you're just, I mean, you're not allowed. I mean, that's the thing is you're not, it's awesome. Congratulations. No trespassing. You never let anyone in your anywhere near you, Jeff Bezos. I think, you know, I know we're at the oh, we're at the ass end of a really shitty four years, but I think Jeff Bezos might be the worst American. Well, you know, I want to throw this out there to him.

We will stop saying this if we get some type of, I don't know, Amazon Prime video show like a, oh shit, we could host something. Really hold him the gun to his head here. I mean I don't want to post our numbers on the door like fucking Charles Foster Kane but they are impressive God

anyway call us or drop dead either way whoever is I think we're more likely who's ever in charge of Tooby yo dude we got Tube money coming to us all 80 bucks

Sam Rezos I will tube in for Tooby call me Oh fuck And yeah, we just, we get the victory lap. I mean, I love to, it's not just a victory lap. You know, I was thinking about victory laps recently because we watched all the scream movies

and there's victory laps in every single one of them. But this is great too, because before you get the victory lap, it's a title card that's just like, hey, everybody. You know, the Mercury Theater players, you know, are proud of the cast. You know, so many of them are in motion pictures for the first time. We would like to introduce you to them.

Like, it's such a fucking, love this because it's like a theater great thing. Yes, it really is. And it's also very humble because he doesn't give himself one. I mean, it's humble, you know, calling Orsonwell's humble as an oxymoron, but at the same time, it comes off as humble at the very least. You know what I mean? Like, because he doesn't give himself

a title card. He shares one with the cinematographer, which good on him, because Toland really kind of made this movie. Oh, yeah. Of all the people, he's very open. Like, yeah, I just told Tolan what to do. I didn't come up with the things. Tolan came up with all the ideas of how to do it. I just told him what to do right yep um and so there we have it gang that is the film citizen

cane i'm legitimately curious if anyone has listened to this entire episode without seeing the movie i would recommend it's a good one holds up well yeah it doesn't hold up is the question we ask and yes i think it yeah i mean it does play obviously like very differently in 2020 you know what i mean it just it really does and it's it's impressive and also sad how capitalism is capitalism I guess is the sad part about it is it's no one should have that much wealth and we

haven't learned that lesson just yet. I thought I had while watching this and like I would never want it to happen but it did it is really weird that Donald Trump never directed a movie it's very weird that he never did that because it seems like exactly what he would want

to do. See but I don't think so because he the only reason I'm pushing back on this is because I know just how averse he is to the arts in any form. He started as a Broadway he wanted to be a Broadway producer.

That was his whole trajectory at first, but the first show he did bombed so bad that like he was like, fuck it, not doing it. I'm going to go into my dad's business. That was how he did. So like, I feel like once you got power back, why wouldn't you

just parlay that and you're in the media all the time anyway. You know what he would be, he wouldn't be like a director necessarily. He would just be Harvey Weinstein. Yeah, even that. Even that's more, yeah. That sure. That I would have, you know, he should have produced like a canon movies for himself.

You know what I mean? And those movies probably would have ruled. Yeah, but they'd be like hyper racist. That's true. Yes, yes. But the fact that he liked Bloodsport parts of it, like I could see maybe him leaning into that canon type of mind. But to be clear, though, it is a.

it is a purely financial endeavor. There's not an artistic bone in that fucked face. Unlike all the other canon movies, this one would be racist. Well, that's what I was about to say. There was no fucking shortage of racism in the canon collection. I'm just saying

it would be hyper-racist if he made a canon movie. I would love him to try to outdo the crackdown. That would be something. He could. If anyone could do it, it's him. So we're wrapping up here about, like, does this hold up? I will just quickly say, obviously it does.

This is obviously one of my favorite movies. I've always loved this movie, and I kind of don't remember when, I think we were talking about this at the start, book ending it. This is our no trespassing sign that I don't really remember when I first saw it, but it was definitely in an old, you know, four by three crackly-ass TV and now seeing it in 2020 and all the history that it kind of predict. and the innovations that

it produced that are still alive today. It's a great movie and yeah, I mean if anyone says, if anyone's contrarian about this movie, they're kind of just wrong. I will say this movie, yes, this movie definitely holds up. It's great. And I would really

encourage everybody to see his other movies. They're all very good. At the very least, even like the ones that aren't amazing are very good. Even the big fat guy. Big Fat Guy era F is for Faye

Chimes at Midnight is like incredible incredible movie Yeah That's a great movie I'm trying to think Of some other ones that Like specifically that he directed Othello, the Immortal story

Bethelow is amazing The McBath His Macbath is very good He co-directed Journey Into Fear Which is not bad A little another Joseph Cotton picture I'm quick Just an FYI

This movie is, in case you're wondering, the 97th best movie on IMDB's 250 best movies list. And number 71 is The Dark Night Rises. Number 64 is Avengers Affinity War. Number 60 is Joker. Number 48 is this year's Hamilton. Number 31 is Leon, the professional. Number 29 is interstellar.

Number 28 is the Green Mile. And number 12 is Forest Gun. Do we mention, we mention touch of Eve? no we didn't that's what I wanted to mention touch of evil he's also uncredited as the director of the lady from Shanghai um yeah it says he's uncredited there but yeah weird but there's no one else actually credited so I don't know what wound up happening there but that's a fucking great by the way if you loved citizen Kane maybe you're new to or so well definitely check out the magnificent Ambersons it kind of gets to the same heart of this decaying riches of America

angle. It's, I mean, it was chopped up, but it's still a very solid film. That's my number one, like I sincerely hope at some point in my lifetime, they find a fucking print in somebody's basement or some shit, and like, it is

the full magnificent Ambersons. Because that's one of those, like it's supposedly all, like his cuts destroyed, like you'll never see it. That would be amazing. Sometimes those little movie mysteries wrap up with a happy ending. What was that movie that came out that Netflix put up.

Oh, the other side of the wind. Oh, his fucking incredible. It's, dude, that movie is wild. Man, I was enjoying it, but falling asleep multiple times trying to get through it. I will say that is a movie that I really am sad that it was Netflix who got it because on the big screen, it like, it's like a sensory overload. That's what I need. I need big screens again because then I can sit there and pay the fuck attention.

What's a big screen? What are you talking about? Like a television. Oh, so Steve. in the before times there were these auditoriums you could go to called movie theaters where they had basically

a TV but it was like really big and made out of like material you know like fabric and whatnot and they put the movies that you see on TV on the big screen and then some people would put their dicks and popcorn it's a little weird it's a mixed thing it was always a risky

cultural activity god don't you miss the days before COVID when you can just fucking flop your dick out in a movie theater. I love it. No, man, you're not whipping it out at the theater. We're putting in some butter. Well, I'm thoroughly disgusted. Oh, my God. Wow, what a way

to wrap up. Does it hold up, Andrew? Oh, yeah. You know, I mean, it's weird because it is now seen in a completely different way, and I hope that maybe like, I can let five years go by and watch it again and see what, you know, trauma still bubbles to the surface. But yeah, no, it's fucking great. It's, you know, from a technologically,

technological, like, innovative innovation standpoint, it's fucking great. The performance is fucking great. And just like what, you know, the thinking around like what a movie can be, right? Like, that's one of the reasons. why this movie is regarded the way that it is, right? You know, because if it was a different director and it was a very like A to B kind of story structure and, you know, just kind of like humdrum, like dudes doing a gig cinematography,

this kind of isn't really that interesting of a movie. It has to have all of those other things happening at the same time. And when all of that shit's going, man, like you're watching this movie and you just, realize like shit there was like a lot of stuff cooking here when they when they made this movie um the thing that i will say is i'm completely ignorant to all of the books the documentaries rk oh 281 like i've never seen any of that shit out there um yeah i've it's like my relationship to this movie is really just the movie um but now i'm kind of like curious to check out that

other stuff although boy we were sharing some clips of that rk o 281 and it's a two TV movie underlined, underlined. Yes. Dude, Leav Schreiber's just talking like Leav Schreiber in that scene. Yeah. So that was disappointed.

I got to say, John Malcovic in that movie is a force to be reckoned with. I'm curious to see what Gary Oldman does with it, but it was, he's good in that, he's good in that TV movie.

He's just doing, I guess he's just doing Malcovich, but I like Malcovich. So we, you know, we said at the top that we are recording this before Mank has come out, none of us have seen it,

but. I read something today that's fucking points off for this movie already that he, well, he shot it digitally and they were like, we want to make it look like an old movie. So they added like digital scratches and dirt to it. I mean, fuck that. Like, I don't know. I mean, I'm interested to see how he does. Like, that's an experiment on its own. I think that's interesting.

Also, it's possible to just watch a print that's not scratch. So that whole idea is fucking terrible. I'm sorry. reminds me like an old Mr. show sketches when they would do like old timey and it would just do it put on that.

But we'll see. You know what? We'll just wait to see. No, we'll see. I know. We might have another president. We might wait and see. We'll just have to wait and see.

I just, you got to be fucking kidding me with that shit. I don't know. We'll see. We'll see. You're right, Steve. We'll see. But that is going to do it

for this ultra long we love movies episode on Citizen Kane. But the good news is all this month. Lots of great stuff is coming down the we love movies pipeline. You heard the bumper up front. But just as a reminder, Steve Sadek for next week, because

as always here on Wee Hey Movies, the show must go on. So next Tuesday, we have a brand new opening at the Opera House. What are we talking about that? We are talking about Fargo, the movie, not the television series, which is something you have to say in the year 2020, but this is going to be great, man. I got to tell you, I'm super

psyched to go back to this. It's been a few years for me anyway, but I was just like I was rewatching Labowski the other weekend, and I was like, man, I kind of, I'm getting the urge to revisit a lot of the Cohen

heavy hitters, so this will help me there. Anybody recall the last time they saw Fargo? Oh, man, years ago, but I love the Coens. So I've every year, I check back in with something. I check back in with Raising Arizona recently and I still really enjoy it.

I'm quite basic. This is my favorite Cohen's movie. It just is. It just is. Nothing wrong with that, dude. great movie yeah uh cool so well you know that's gonna do it gang so until next week where we're talking about another great one the cohen brothers fargo i'm andrew jupin steven siddick eric cisco chris camp take it easy