We Hate Movies - S11: Episode 525 - Dolittle

Episode Date: January 12, 2021

On this week's episode, the gang is chatting about the abhorrent, embarrassing, talking animal dud, Dolittle! If more competently put together, is there a real movie here? Why is RDJ distracting himself with that accent? And he did WHAT to that dragon? PLUS: Hire real voice actors for these movies! Dolittle stars Robert Downey Jr., Antonio Banderas, Michael Sheen, Jim Broadbent, Jessie Buckley, and the voices of Emma Thompson, Rami Malek, John Cena, Kumail Nanjiani, Octavia Spencer, Tom Holland, Craig Robinson, Ralph Fiennes, Selena Gomez, and 9/11 truther Marion Cotillard; directed by Stephen Gaghan. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

this week on the program step right up and finger a dragon it's do little i'm andrew jupin stephen sadak eric ciska dr cavan oh shit and we hate movies Hello, Hello, everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in, as always. too of some of the worst of 2020. And this week, good gravy. We are talking about Doolittle, written and directed by Stephen Gagin,

who you want working on this movie, known as the writer and director of Sireana, another children's favorite. The darkest movie about the oil trade ever made, and Doolittle. That's your fucking resume. I could have used someone getting their fingers ripped out in this movie. I was just

going to say, dude, and fucking Robert Dedy is ripping this little kid's fingernails off. He might as well this little fucking snow away i mean i think i've said it before disgusting shit boy but this is like the british variance so it's disgusting disgusting shit lad yes oh it's me a disgusting shit lad can i join you dr lulu oh i love the dumps don't i oh look at this i'm listening to animals i i i was bummed because the movie starts not the movie we we starts the cartoon but the movie starts his parent his dad who's played by a Steve Siddick favorite Ralph Inneson who sounds

exactly like if the devil were British and drunk yeah I love Ralph it is this guy Benin he's the dad from the witch he's also in and the OG the OG witch or the fucking new one that came out or is that the witches oh though that witch the we call it the double witch the double the witch oh that guy okay oh thomas and oh no thomas and woe you dodg oh he's also in uh what do you call their money or that hurricane heist he's in the boy too uh oh oh wow a storied career oh is he the shithead uncle and ready player one yeah yeah okay dude loves playing abusive parents yeah he is in do do little i got to say if the This whole movie was made like this animated opening.

We're already on track for a better movie. Well, my first note is this should be an eight-minute cartoon. Like, that's it. Just give you a fucking... An old school, Warner Brothers, eight-minute cartoon, we're done. I shovel this in with King Arthur and all that shit, where, like, every eight years, they're like, maybe we should try doing it again.

I don't know. It's stupid. Well, this had laid dormant since... I mean, we had those two Eddie Murphy movies, and then there was a third one that was like a spin-off where it was his daughter. It was like, Raymond Simone, right? No, it was it? No, it's like five or six of them. It's younger.

It's not Raven-Simon. Oh, okay. Five or six of them. Are you kidding me? The daughter has like three movies. I don't remember this even existing. Eddie Murphy played Dr. Doolittle?

Are you kidding? Two movies. Am I kidding? No, I'm not kidding. The first one was in 1998, dude. and like it's it's the same thing as this where like they just got a shit ton of celebrities to do all these voices

so you got like I believe Peter Boyle was in that movie I don't know it's a much much better people a much much better movie that I mean yeah I mean it's actual animals for the most part which is nice I got to say that's what's nice

about Dr. Doolittle what did Peter Boyle do in that movie? I have a fucking chimpanzee and I think no I think Peter Boyle might be a person Oh, okay. I'm on the IMDB page for Dr. Doolittle 98. No, for some reason this missed me and I totally don't remember this, but it looks like at least that's, it looks like it's more contained, right? Like this is a family drama type of comedy type of thing. Because this was a, what do you call it there? That was like during the Eddie Murphy boom, 90s boom and like he could do no wrong. So it was also like you just revitalized the nutty professor like what other kind of franchises could you do? I bet you they had, this opened up. I bet you they had a King Arthur movie for him, too. Oh, probably.

Ravens-Money is in the movie, by the way. Yeah, she is. She played the daughter in both those movies. I'm trying to find these off-brand movies. Chris was mentioning. I can't seem to find them. The third one, I got it on IMDB. So the other actress, who is, it's just a different daughter.

Oh, okay. He had multiple kids. One was Raven-Simon, but then the other daughter, or a other daughter, or how many kids he had in the movie, was an actress named Kyla. a Pratt who then goes on to do them. So it's Dr. Doolittle 3 is where she takes over. And then it's Dr.

Chris was right. Dr. Doolittle tail to the chief. So you better believe she's working in the White House. Come on. And then Dr. Doolittle, and this is 2009, Dr. Doolittle, colon, million dollar muts. Where it appears as if she gets, she gets like famous for being able to talk to animals and she gets a TV show and becomes

famous about it. By the way. So there you go. And Dr. Drew Little Two, at least. I'm looking up. One Jeffrey Jones is in there. Oh, eep. Listen, Doc, whatever that monkey tells you is a lie. Okay, that's a lying monkey.

Who you got to believe? The monkey or the man? Look, can a stick bug testify in court? I don't think so. Oh, man. He can testify in the royal court in this movie, though. I promise you there are no false walls in my house that lead to. kidding porn dungeons i would rather watch dr do a little like you know up against some type of

uh porn distributor like that versus this fucking weak ass pirates in the caribbean knockoff it's totally and it's just a nothing of a movie there's no engine there's no like actual structure it just sort of happens and it's overweight everything feels forced yeah everything like even robert dow junior is just like doing whatever Well, that's, the problem he made was he realized that, you know, oh, I can't do another British character because that's going to be too similar to Sherlock Holmes. So he tries to do this Welsh thing. And he's choking on it the entire movie. And it destroys his ability to do anything you might want to see him do, I think.

Am I crazy that this, am I the only one who thought this was like almost all ADR? It never looks like he's actually saying what's being heard. Well, I mean, I think because, I mean, one, you'd probably be surprised at the vast majority of movies that are like almost 100% ADR these days. Sure. But this is like, I think you're right, because what he's doing here, and Steve, you were getting to this is like he has to concentrate so hard on keeping this voice rained in to at least what he's doing that like he can't, it's like when when an actor in like a movie musical is like dancing, but they're not a really great dancer. so they're constantly looking at their feet and they can't pay attention to the rest of the scene. Like that's what he's doing,

but he's just thinking about this accent the whole fucking time. So I think so much of it is like him just like garbling his mouth. Like it just sounds, I mean, Steve choking on it is the best way to describe it because it sounds at parts like he's just gasping for air in this movie. It's a washing machine running in his mouth.

But I also have a sneaking suspicion that some of these animals are ADR as well. Oh, I bet that's true. dude i've been if we dug into the production notes of this movie and you know and that's the fucking problem man like all right cool you want to have a big fun movie with a bunch of fun celebrities but like rami malick as a fucking gorilla look who in the world is just like hey honey that's rami malick as a gorilla is that enhancing your experience of this film this is just like when we mentioned i forget what we were talking about maybe one of the shrek movies that's like

you don't need rando celebrities get real voice actors in that. Exactly. John fucking Sina being like, hi, I'm John Sina a bear now. Great. Dude. And it's like, God damn it. Yeah. I mean, you're totally right. It's none of these voices are people that you're

instantly like, oh, it's not like fucking Gilbert in Aladdin, right? Where you're watching Aladdin and you're like, that's clearly Gilbert Godfrey. That's like a thing. And it's just to put other names on the posters, right? It's just Try to sell tickets or whatever, but it's so fucking terrible because a lot of these folks just are not voice actors.

Some of them, like I think Rami Malik is a good actor, but he's not a good voice actor. He's also not doing, like he's also doing a voice right here. You know what I mean? So it's like it takes away from, you know, any kind of like, what am I saying? Like recognition of these actors. His voice is at least an interesting part of it about him as an actor, by the way. like it's all physicality which is fine yep yes but uh his face too i mean yeah exactly but like also to your point about like uh gilbert in aladdin like you are looking at something

that's amazing like the two the animation in latin is incredible you're looking at photo realistic talking animals in this and it looks like shit so all you notice is the fucking voice and you're just like why am i here you know i got i didn't really recognize any of these guys voices well a few of them until the end credits and then when I saw that I was like okay now who played that dog I think it was probably like a nice old British nanny oh Tom Holland oh yeah spider man spider man is the dog and what they're doing also because like there's also just like no real script here and you're trying to just like remind the audience at all times how many animals are on this adventure and so what they do is just like randomly cut to these computer animals and have the actor just say something that's kind of not kind of it is 100% inconsequential

to furthering the story along most noticeably with Craig Robinson's character the little squirrel like it just cuts to this squirrel and it's just Craig Robinson says a thing that sort of relates to the scene but not really and then just cuts back and I'm like I understand the squirrel is with them stop cutting to this fucking animal well I mean

clearly what I mean not even clearly like really what happened was this movie was made to be a comedy and then they realized oh shit Stephen Gagan the fucking Syrian and traffic guy is doing it and the cut didn't work and they had to go back and they did like 21 days of reshoots

and had like different people writing different people directing the whole fucking thing and it's just fucking it's a turducket of a film yes it really is and I do think the Craig Robinson character of Kevin the squirrel yeah is probably the most effective comedic relief yes I was

laughing at some of Craig Robinson's jokes as opposed to literally everything else in this film. I mean, even like 80 minutes into this movie, they are still making characters be amazed that he can talk to fucking animals. And I'm like, this was the first five minutes, you idiots. I will say I'm glad that at least we start. I mean, there's either one or two tropes you can go in this direction. Like, well, his first adventure or he's hung it all up. I'm actually glad with the always, he's hung it all up kind of a starting point. Absolutely. Absolutely. I was like, oh, cool. He's like washed up. up and shit. Like that kind of brings an interesting vibe to it. It also avoids a doctor

do little origin story, which I definitely do not need. Exactly. We sort of kind of cover that in this opening cartoon narration with Emma Thompson, which man, I don't know how many fucking golden toilets this lady needs, but you know, Chelsea said this too. Like she's got to learn to be a little more selective. Like this is just her so loving it as this fucking parent. I mean, she has I mean, she's gotten all the awards she ever would ever need. I feel like she is just having fun now. Like, fuck. Was she having fun on last Christmas too?

That fucking piece of shit. Yes, I think she was. I absolutely do that late shift like all these. I think she's just having fun for once. And like, I don't know. It seems like she's enjoying it at least. Late night, I believe it's the movie. Late night.

Late shift is the David Letterman Leno thing. Last Christmas is horrendous. It's really something. Oh, I finally, I forgot that you guys finally watch the two this, holiday season. Isn't it terrible? And she's doing this Baltic exit. Oh, no. They don't want us in country because of Brexit.

Oh, me from former Yugoslavia. Me kind of shitty character. I'm not crazy. She wrote that too, right? She wrote that fucking movie, dude. She wrote it. She wanted all of those things that happened in that movie to happen, Chris. That's amazing.

That's really, really amazing. She woke up one day and said, last Christmas doesn't exist I'm going to will it in doing wasn't there like a body swap with her in real life with someone stupid or something it's possible I think you're right dude she can't find the fucking

artifact to get her back in her own body all of a sudden Jenny McCarthy's going to become this great actress yeah dude I was watching Emmett Thompson on that weird MTV New Year's Eve thing and she was just making fart noises and talking about how she hates vaccines

you see that new Jenny McCarthy period piece it's excellent she really gets there she gets there it's weird you know i didn't think they need to you know remake the house of mirth but i guess they did it jennon mccarthy's amazing in it she wishes this body swap happened uh so yeah we we are told things like you know dr doolittle was gifted an animal sanctuary by the queen of england uh he's got a dead ass wife named Lily who's lost at sea. Interesting, like, famed widower for something. You know, it's like I'm starting

up my do little movie. What do I know? Well, he likes to sing and dance. Oh, he doesn't do that. Apparently, he's got a dead wife now. I really thought, I was really expecting her to come back at any moment during this movie. Especially when they get to this, like, fucking Pirates of the Caribbean

aisle at the end of it. I was like, she's going to be shipwrecked or something like that. I have to say, a plus to this movie for leaving this wife dead the entire time. For sure. Which I was genuinely shocked about. And then

so yeah, we're introduced to this little kid. What's his name? Pudding Face. What's his kid's? Shat. Stubbins. Stubbins. It's really Stubbins. I'm not kidding. I know. It's just hilarious to hear it said by someone else. Is that his full name? It's just Stubbins?

No, I think it's like Henry. Henry Stubbins, possibly. Tommy. Tommy Stubbins. Oh, Tommy. Hello, Tommy Stuffins, you little, you little rat you. Oh, Tommy Stubbins. Oh, Tommy Stubbitts, you got any cold in your pockets? And you got Ralph Fettis and be like, all right, boy, you're going to kill that squirrel. We're going to all eat it.

We're going to eat a squirrel. Yeah, stop waking off that gun and fire it. Yeah, dude. No, no, you can eat your fur, too. Just gnaw on it. Well, I think they're like duck or something, and then he accidentally. shoots the squirrel who's played by Craig Robinson, which sort of sets the movie into place, I guess. Right. He's like a kid who doesn't want to be out there hunting and everything. And they're like,

oh, you're going to shoot that duck, are you? You shoot that duck. And he kind of like just fires the gun off. And this uncle is like, yeah, I noticed again, you just intentionally missed that duck, dude. Why am I taking you out here? He's a real disappointment to this uncle of his. and then yeah he's accidentally just shot this squirrel and you get like the humanity of this kid he's like because the uncle pulls out this huge like crocodile dun dundee knife and he's like well you know what you're going to do now you can't let these animals suffer you have to defeat him in combat you got a knife versus a squirrel I mean the knife too is like an interesting thing I would just tell the kid to smash it against a rock yeah he's a huge rock dude step on it

It's like two or three times. You got to cut its throat. It's the only way you can successfully take its soul. All right. This is what we do in this family. We cut the face off of this squirrel and put it on another squirrel. That's twisted, man. That is twisted.

He's the joker. It is the English squirrel face massacre. Squirrel off. Dude, if that happened, though, like if that happened to like Chippendale, like you couldn't tell the difference. Oh, absolutely. All these little squirrels, you know. And then Dale would ruin Chip's life because Chip, obviously, is the much more smarter of the two. But Dale is so stupid and silly.

And why is Chip acting so stupid and silly? Why is Chip wearing that Hawaiian shirt? Maybe this is what happened to Emma Thompson. She got her face ripped off. Oh, no. Put on Jenny McCarthy, vice versa. I like this theory. I'm going to take his face off.

It's a theory that that holds water, I'll be honest. because nothing else makes sense. So while this, he's like, oh, what is it? The bird sees him and was like, hey,

follow me. And like, that's how he gets to Dr. Doolittle's compound. And while this is happening, we're seeing like how Dr. Doolittle starts his day. And he's like,

he's kind of like Robin Williams and Jumanji when he comes out of the world. And he's all like bearded and his hair looks fucking terrible. And these birds are dressing him. Like, point where like animals have to put your clothes on that's low i i appreciate that he's hidden all the opium pipes yeah not just laying around on the table and shit i like that and the whole plot of this like oh the queen if the queen dies then this is this place is getting bulldozed

is so weird to me because it's like i don't know like we established national parks but when teddy roosevelt died we didn't you know open them up to oil drilling immediately you also it's also weird to be like oh here's because like you know he helped the queen out way back when or whatever by the one we'll get to that and all of a sudden if she does if and she gave him a lifetime deed and she's like yes but for my life like what the fuck does that mean like it should be for his right it should be for it should be just forever what is this is a nature reserve in jolly old england which doesn't have a lot of it right it's just cows farting yeah definitely that's it so like embrace it the the the the

What are these Faustian contracts the queen is signing, is my question. I think that's just how she was doing business back then, dude. She's like a younger queen kind of a thing, like trying to mix it up a little bit in the kingdom. Oh, I mean, Steve, you have a good point here because, like, dragons exist in this world. So I think devils do, too. Oh, absolutely. We get there. So the queen is played by the lady from, I'm thinking of ending things.

What's her name? Jesse Buckley. Yeah. And she's like, all of 31 years old. when were these adventures that she had with fucking Robert Downey Jr. Like, fucking two years ago? Yeah, I don't know.

Like, how long is this wife supposed to have been lost at sea? Yeah, that's a good call, actually. Because they do make reference to like, yeah, she is like a super young queen and everything. So I guess maybe this was just like last summer. I mean, it would have been great if there was like a previously on Doolittle. Yeah. Well, they drive that.

Just for that part. Is Lady Rose supposed to be her daughter? Like in lines, I don't know how that works either. It's like her cousin's kid or something. It's like, and she dresses like little red rose gold riding hood. Like she's got this really terrible looking hood over her the whole time. Man, a wolf should have tried to kill her and talk. Absolutely.

I like that. Well, it's weird because, you know, why is it that this little girl seems to be the only one who's kind of like in charge of the queen's health? because the other you got you got Michael Sheen as like a crooked doctor and then you got oh what's his name old English guy

Jim Broadbent who the whole movie I kept saying Tom Wilkinson and I knew it was wrong but they're like interchangeable old British people to me but yeah yeah Broadbent is like another mustache twirling so and so who's like in line for the throne

but like where is anyone else to like attend to the queen of England. Like, it makes no sense that there's just this little kid who's got like this all-access pass to watching this woman die. At the stage pass to the queen's death.

Yeah, I got this on the radio. I can't wait. You are going to go see the queen die tonight. They try to make the head of the guards a character at the end. Oh, right. And he's like peppered throughout, but like, I'm like, no, no, no, no.

Stop it. This is stupid. Yeah, what's his thing? Because he's like, oh, an animal saved me once, too, or something like that. He thinks he also spoke to an animal. It is all too little too late for that character. But, you know, there's a thing. I want to make sure we get to this because I think it's crucially important. The part of this movie where the gorilla threatens to take a shit on the chessboard.

Like, what are we doing this animal threatens to take a shit on a table? And the thing is, he's like a nervous gorilla. and they're playing mice chess. And I mean, like, the weird thing is like, all animals have purchased and like all animals have like full identities, why are these like just your little chess pieces? Don't they have like fully ingrained lives and love lives to worry about? Yeah, but he's imprisoned them. Oh, I see.

He's paid for them to have match boxes to live in. Well, it's kind of like, it's kind of like Beauty and the Beast, you know? Like they all, maybe they've all been transformed into animals. and they're just playing a part kind of a thing. Also, this could just be... Oh, I'm sorry, my animal friends. I shouldn't have tricked that bitch when she came over my house.

Yeah, exactly. I mean, it could be like an island at Dr. Monroe thing, right? Like, we're making, like, weird fish people. The island of Dr. Marvin Monroe. It's Dr. Morrow. Oh, my apologies. I don't want to offend that fictional dude.

He's got to come after you. It's a completely different island. island of Dr. Monroe. I mean, what happens if, like, the little Rook Mouse doesn't want to hit his brother the king mouse? Exactly. This is a real thing. Uh, well, then that's when Dr. Doe, it's really easy, guys.

It's when, that's when Dr. Doolittle raises a boot above his head. And he's like, if you don't fucking make that chest move, it's Splatown to night, Mouse. Exactly. Because that's the other thing, too, is it's got to be, like, battle chess, like they're hitting each other. It's weird. Listen. Well, that's

that's always like the thing with any kind of real life sort of or like full size chest thing in these kinds of situations. We always love it when like when the peace move is made it is actually like a battle thing.

Listen, either you're gonna hit your brother or I am. It's like the knight just doesn't like knock over the pawn. It fucking slays the pawn dead. Kind of a thing. I feel like that's probably is that not in those dumb ass Alice and Wonderland movies?

that's got to be a thing. Yeah, I'm sure that's going on. Fighting with each other or whatever. Stupid shit. But yeah, the gorilla is very nervous. That's his thing. Other people,

there's a duck that's Octavia Spencer. The duck has some funny jokes. I was okay with the duck. I just, I checked out of all of it. Like, it just wasn't, none of this was working for me.

I mean, Steve, it's kind of a testament to the movie is like, I remember also kind of politely chuckling at the duck. But I couldn't tell you a single joke, though. We'll get to one that they literally less than 24 hours later, you know what I mean? I've got massive stinger underlined somewhere here, but that's about it as far as the jokes go.

So this rotten little girl just like walks into his house, which, man, that bear should be like, intruder alert, fucking mall her. Well, we should say that they knock on the door and the gorilla answers the door and he's a nervous gorilla. And literally one of the most chilling things I've seen in years is this gorilla screaming? Like this photuralistic gorilla screaming like a man. It was like fucking annihilation for five minutes. Exactly. This was exactly like annihilation. I think there's a shimmer around his gate to this house.

That's why it's like all close down and they have to like smuggle their way in. Like, it's fucking stalker. The dead wife merged with the gorilla at some point. That makes sense. Ooh, totally. Hello, husband of mine. It's beating fucking Tommy Pickettin or whatever his name is to death. Stubbins, sorry.

Stubbins. Timmy Doudad? Oh, Stubbins, right. Well, the weird thing, too, is like the Emma Thompson Parrott is like, okay, Stubbins. like you know the door is permanently locked to this compound but here's the way you have to sneak in or whatever and then like they just sort of cut to the girl is just on the property so like either they just totally like beefed on that or like this girl also knows about the secret way to get into the compound like it's never really established but they just go from like emma thompson

being like oh it's totally locked and you can't get in this way we have to go around this hidden entrance and then this girl is just at the front door like a Girl Scout selling cookies. We also around here we get one of many because they keep on having to hit this nail for some reason. Many transitions from what are you doing?

What are you doing here, Gorilla? And you know they 100% drop it as the movie goes on like you lose that whole thing but very much upfront the movie tries to like really hammer home like anyone who's not like in this little doodils

circle is just hearing these animals like grunt and growl and whatever and specifically he is grunting and growling to them which is a oh yes he is also yeah that's god damn that sucks it sucks even more when it's it's r dj and this other kid like talking animal to each other and robert downy junior's like you know like sort of grading this kid's like uh pronunciation and shit man that's dumb we're all on the record like we mostly like those marvel movies but also find them to be the cancer that's destroying cinema from the inside out and you know that so there's ups and downs of those Marvel movies but like the fact that he only that R.DJ only comes out of Marvel retirement to do these horrendous other block wouldn't

it be like okay I'm gonna do these Marvel movies blah blah blah but then I'm gonna do a really interesting biopic of somebody or really interesting like a talky drama that I've always wanted to get by sink my teeth into it's like it's the same shit but actually worse somehow and you get to do a British accent, congratulations. I mean, I don't think he's done worse movies than the juror and this. Yes. I can't think.

The judge, right? The judge, yes. The juror is the Demi Mormon. Yeah, because it was the judge. The judge was the last non-Toney Stark role he had before this one. And he always produces. That movie was in like 2014 or something. He always produces them.

They're always like his movies and they're horrible. Well, because he's always been. like the list to do bigger like he was supposed to be uh doc sportello in in air advice for a long time well the things he doesn't want to try like you'll just do a fucking weirdo accent as a way to be like see what a good actor without me actually taking on challenging material yes for sure there was another thing that he executive produced recently and i was like why weren't you just in this it would be good oh man oh damn it doesn't matter but yeah i'm bringing up his imdb let's see here he's got that Sherlock Holmes 3 coming down the pike and I'm like yet again just stop I'm done

Perry Mason he produced yes that's what he was supposed to be in it yep yep he was supposed to be Perry Mason that's right that's exactly what I was thinking of um I mean I think Matthew Reese killed it in that role a real Welshman by the way that guy that guy can speak with a real Welsh accent they should have swapped these guys that's right dude I don't know though man I do not want Matthew Reese in these fucking dumbass movies. He's a really interesting actor that I wish to stay far away

from talking animals. Oh, okay, yeah. I guess you see like maybe this guy is an actual actor guy. I mean, Dowdy was at some point an actual actor, right? I mean, yeah. He's capable. He's more than capable. Scattered Dark. He's amazing in a Scanner Dark way. Yes, for sure.

Kiss, kiss, bang. Great. Yes. Great one. And for what it's worth, like, I think he's good as Tony Stark. yes exactly but i i saw him do it fucking 15 times and i but that's the thing it's always like i'm just so tired of these marvel movies i need to like i need to stick my fucking fist up a dragon's ass to really just stretch myself as an actor like this cartoon disney movies get me out of here you could do whatever the fuck you want exactly that's the whole point is this what is this i don't get it i mean to be fair like i feel like it's you because this

this really is a movie where you can look at it when you're watching it and see that like there's likely something in here if if some other pieces fell into place the right way which they didn't but like if you had a better script if you had a better director who's like worked in this kind of filmmaking before like you know i was thinking uh could have done this cabin was um who's the guy who did like old man of the gun but he did that pete's dragon adaptation oh david lowry who was very good david lowry could have done a fucking weird and interesting Doolittle movie. And I feel like

we would have had something here. But even Pete's Dragon, which is very good, like, it's one major piece of CGI, the Dragon. Yeah. And this is like all these photorealistic animals that look like garbage. And I'm like, and I don't care. Like, I don't think you could have done

this unless you get real animals and just do the voiceover like the Eddie Murphy Doolittle. Or you get, this is something Eric pointed out, like if you're going to turn this into a Pirates of the Caribbean movie, you need Pirates of the Caribbean money like Universal just did not give them enough money to do this

the right way it just looks they were smart dude whoever whoever didn't sign that check on a promotion like dude remember when you fought against doolid and you said that

the movie's gonna flop well here's a fucking promotion big daddy and as bad as those Pirates of the Caribbean movies are like I know who the bad guys are I know the motivations for everything like okay so someone has poisoned

the queen for reasons question mark, they're only sending one boat because it's cheaper for this movie to pursue exactly. It's just so weird. And all these animals are like working through like family issues. I'm like, get the fuck out of here!

Absolutely not. And that's the thing about those Eddie Murphy movies is like they're just there to like make jokes and do whatever and it's totally fine. I'm not getting the fucking life story of the dog that Norm McDonald voices.

You know what I mean? But if we're doing these animals and we're doing him talking to animals, we're making a pilotist of the Caribbean type of adventure movie, get somewhere where there's animals in trouble. When we finally do get somewhere, they're evil animals. Instead of like, he could be saving animals. We could replicate the scene from Peewee's Big Adventure where he goes into the store that's on fire, the pet store and taking out all the snakes or something.

Like save animals. Use your fucking thing to talk to animals in a way that does something. I mean, they're looking for a magic. tree and all these fucking animals do it's just you know they're just lousy like secondhand crewman on his fucking boat yep yeah and you know you just you sort of inspired a thought in me eric about how you could make this movie like again like central to the animals because you're right like he's just using these animals to help find a cure for a sick human it should be the queen's prize whatever it has fallen ill you know and dr doolittle has to go and

And it could be the same plant. It's the only plant that will cure this corgi dog or whatever it is. You know what I mean? But instead, yet, we're just like trying to save the Queen of England. Like, the stakes are that high in Doolittle that there's going to be the murder of the Queen of England? Like, my God. Like, let's dial it back just a little bit. How about a sick dog?

Right when she dies, the Treasury Department takes over Doolittle Manor and blows it up or something. Yeah, I don't know. First thing is first. I don't get the line of thought with this movie. That's his weird motivation, right? Because he doesn't want to do it. And then they're like, by the way, do little,

the Queen of England only leased this animal preserved to you for her lifetime. So like, if she dies, you're going to lose your house. And he's like, well, I'm going to be out on my ass, am I? Well, off to adventure then. It's just him trying to keep his house.

You should get a monkey to help hang him, hang himself well the monkeys the monkeys are his lawyers Eric they're going over contracts for him right yes yes yes what a wonderful little moment of levity just wonderful I mean the better Pirates of the Caribbean movie is the animated intro

like the story of Lily and him is the Pirates of the Caribbean movie you're looking for you just didn't have the money so you just make this shitty like here's two sets and a bunch of CGI deal with it I was thinking about this animated intro like last week's movie Wonder Woman 1984 might have served by having an animated intro would feel more 80s yeah yeah totally yeah I think

you're totally right and you know what's funny though is well is the christmas vacation now opening you're thinking here yeah exactly or city slickers this old house father looking good but um boom boom boom yeah it's that time it's like santa being decimated right yeah but but wonder woman it could be like wonder woman like stubbing her toe and stuff, doing all our cool sports stuff. Wonder Woman. Traveling through town, never growing old.

Wonder Woman's here to save all the people in the world. There you go. We're getting somewhere. There we're going, man. But what I'm saying, though, is testament to a cartoon intro, being in a good movie,

is this month's we love movie selection on Birds of Prey. We got a little animated intro there also. Wow. So it can be used for good. Yeah, that that is crazy. Yeah, two animated intros in 2020. It's coming back. It's coming back. It was a 90s thing too.

So I think it revolves around that resurgence. Yeah, we thought it died with Weekend at Bernie's 2, but no such luck. Uh, yeah, so he decides that he's going to, you know, take up this adventure, whatever. Uh, and then we just

we hit the high seas. Well, the thing And the kid, we should say the kid does not, Robert Downey Jr. does not want this kid in this movie, or at least the character doesn't. So he stows away to the queen's thing, and then, like, begrudgingly, he's do little, is like, all right, you could be my apprentice for this little meeting that I have.

And he's like, cannot go with you on this great adventure. It's like, absolutely not. And the parents, like, trying to set them up, I guess is the idea. And, like, he has to, like, he has to literally, like, catapult himself into this film. Like, it's just, like, don't bother. This kid's ugly. sucks he's a disgusting shit boy he is shit lad but yeah no this kid is i'm sick of seeing these

little dead-eyed kids in all these movies but i know also like just just make it one kid like just have the little girl go with him on the adventure i don't need this fucking ugly bastard Well, I just hate how the, like, it's such a hodgepodge of, like, what, where your comedy's coming from. Like, he said, like, Robert D. Drew's like, go home, go to the witch father and, like, talk to him for a little bit or whatever the fuck. And the next morning, Emma Thompson parrot gets the giraffe and Marion Cotillard Fox. And, like, all of a sudden, they're in a chase. And then they're like, why are we in a chase? Because we have to be in a chase, I guess.

And I'm like, what the fuck are you talking? Don't break this. break the fourth wall, that's essentially breaking the fourth wall. Hey, honey, I was about to turn this movie off, but now Marion Cotillard's doing the voice of a fox. I guess I'll stick around. She's talking about

the Illuminati. Wow, my favorite part of Doolittle was when that Fox told me that jet fuel can't melt steel beams. What is weird about this whole, like the animals can talk to each other thing? Like, I understand if it's a monkey talking to a monkey,

but we're shown the transition. of like Robert Downey Jr. talking like gibberish noises to I forget which goddamn monster or animal and then it translates so it's like every so the parent would have to speak bear right like this doesn't really jive no it doesn't it does not and that's the thing about those Eddie Murphy movies is I don't maybe I'll get called out of this it's been a while since I've only seen the I saw the first two and I think like I think they are just doing like they can just talk to each other but we're not doing like barks and shit like he can just like like Eddie Murphy's just talking to these animals and they'll talk back and like that's fine and I don't know I should

say the other thing is I've never seen the Richard Fleischer movie with Rex Harrison so I don't know how they do shit in that movie but that's closer to the source material material from the Hugh Lofting book, so that's like... I saw that first movie eons ago, so I couldn't tell you much about it, but it was, it seemed jovial, it seemed upbeat, it seems like it's better than this.

Well, there's also songs in that movie. Exactly. Because it was a big production, you know what I mean, as opposed to just like gray amorphous adventure shit, where there's no act, you know what I mean? And that's all we ever do now, it's just gray amorphous adventure shit. There's no comedies,

there's no dramas, there's no thrillers heists it's just gray adventure shit movies like this it's it's gone from the like a three act structure to a three episode structure yes this feels like three episodes of the Dr. Doolittle show that would be

on Netflix but like I know like I usually say the opposite but at this point I would rather just have a film stage production of Dr. Too Little absolutely 100%. I mean so they're on the high stage kid yeah well you've got this kid I realize there's another

dumb thing he like the the action scene of him getting on this boat is so stupid and you see him like it's this crazy stunt where like he's swinging off this yet to be completed bridge uh on this huge rope to get on this boat like it's the end of die hard with a vengeance and i'm just sitting there like i don't know i thought this movie was about this dude who was talking to animals yes and here is this kid swinging around on a rope like a pirate like get out of here with this and also an octopus says snitches get stitches which reminds me sure the other awful thing in this movie is how like all the humans are like living in like late 19th century England and then all the animals talk like it's 2020 garbage garbage decision garbage decision yeah this octopus has been listening to a lot of

1990s rap and hip hop you know I don't know how he got it in the fucking tank but he got it apparently yeah they should be like making jokes of the era like oh the American colonies what about you might be American if you know that type of stuff

which I'm sure was prevalent or it's all just totally racist stuff and it's like well that's how it wasn't it totally they come out defended afterwards like listen that's what they talked out at the time I don't care yes phrenology was still very much in vogue so fuck off they learned it from do little yeah okay your hero's not perfect I'm sorry yes so bear can be

racist okay whatever oh we should say also Camille and the Johnny's in this movie as the ostrich that's sort of something it's not it's not it's not good it's not I mean again like he's a really funny fucking comedian and like I like I like watching him in some movies but like there's not you can't just do this thing where it's just like oh he's funny so his voice must be funny. All these people who actually make money doing voice comedy, that's totally different. You know what I mean? Like it's just, it's a name. And like, oh my God, fucking finally Camille, I'm Johnny's an ostrich. Holy shit. Well, dude, this was after, I mean,

he already did a totally forgettable voice performance in that Men in Black international movie. He's like the little fucking alien thing in that movie. And again, it's like, this is a dude who has made me laugh, like, either in his stand-up or on, like, Silicon Valley or whatever, uh, you know, he's great and the big sick and everything. And then, like, you just plop them in a voice studio. And it's like, all right, now do the thing. And it just does not work. And also this ostrich character is another like, nervous Nelly kind of thing. And I'm like, that's the gorilla. We already got one. You're totally right. I think one of the only, like, comedic, uh, animals that works for me. I think Jason Muzake is kind of, Jason,

Manzukas, my apologies. I think he kind of nails it with the dragonfly. He's the funniest. He's funny, man. He's funny. That's a dude that translates well to voice acting. It just works. He's like, what, a dragonfly or something? And also you're not like watching his mouth. It's a little dragonfly. You can't

really see what's going on there. Whereas like any other character, you're watching this fucking monstrosity jaw at you. Why is John Cena's polar bear character wearing a hat this whole time? It's like a ski bum kind of thing, I think. Oh, no, it's his

thing, because everyone has this weird, I mean, like, I don't know if Dr. Doolittle is an MD or, you know, a psychologist or whatever. They all have, like, these neuroses or whatever, and his thing is he thinks he's cold all the time. And it's very island of the misfit toys.

Like, whoever heard of a polar bear who was cold? But I got to tell you, I watch this movie now twice, and I didn't even pick that up. Yeah. Like, it's not in like a major like you're just oh he's always just comforting plimpton the fucking ostrich you might want to fucking uh put your volume up dude no i'm kidding about the fun when you're

watching get get them subs on cammy it's a dialogue in the movie in here pal Chris you saw this twice yes leads me to believe that you are something of a super fan yeah I'm a very big fan of it uh I think it's it's it's the best movie of the year by the way if that's the qualifications for super fandom, then unfortunately I have some bad news. All four of us are super fans of Wonder Woman 84. Yeah, that's a good point. I got I will say now I'm just scheming. I think next time around, we're obviously have the VHS trailer game. It's cameo. Maybe next time around the winner gets to write everybody else's Twitter bios. And then you look, the winner can just say like Chris Cabin has to have do a little super fan in his Twitter bio for a whole year.

I don't think this is quite fair because that's a game I'm easily going to lose every single year. That's a good point. We'll have to figure something out. I mean, like, maybe I, yeah, I probably at some point noticed he said, I'm cold, but I'm like, it's a fucking polar bear talking. I don't give a shit. No, of course. I mean, who could, it's impossible to pay attention to this movie because the movie doesn't have any force behind it to make you pay attention. And I'm not, and I'm not like, I, there are plenty of kids movies I engage with very easily and can pay attention to the whole thing. This just is bad. Top to Bob. bottom bad. Yeah, this is, I mean, that's right. And I was kind of like wondering about this

as I started the movie and eventually the thought like totally just disintegrated as I watched what was before my own eyes. But when I started it, I was like, oh man, I hope this is, because I hadn't seen it. And I was like, I hope this isn't a thing where we're just ragging on a kids movie because it's like not for us. But like this isn't for children. There are so much better things out there. You know what? Like right now, parents, if you're looking for something to watch in the new year wolf walkers which is on apple like you can rent it it's a fucking beautiful movie it's a great movie it is not this like you can you can watch wolf walkers and be assured family that no one is going to fist a dragon's asshole at the end i i would say

boss baby is a healthier movie for your kids to watch and this oh absolutely by quite a mart by quite a margin i would say i say first cow give it a shot with the fan also yeah yeah there's nothing an offensive in there. Your kids might take a little nap in it, but that's okay. It shows you the realities of life, too. That's right. And you get a nice little baking treats in the movie. So Michael Sheen is now the baddie

and he's got his own boat and he's attacking Dr. Doolittle. This is a big set piece where a whale becomes involved. That's sort of something. It is sort of something, man. And it's crazy, Steve, because only a movie this bad could take the majesty out of whales

for me. Like, whenever I see whales and shit, I'm like, look at that. Like, I will stop dead and be like, look at that fucking whale. Like, that is a creature. So when you're on 42nd Street, you see a whale, you're like, holy shit, look at that fucking whale. Yeah, well, then I've got to make sure I'm not stopping in the middle of the road

to be hit by someone as I'm staring at an invisible whale. Okay, so he got this ship, was it from the government, or is this his ship? Because there's a harness so that it could be ridden or driven by a whale. Yeah, so this

is, he has two boats in this movie. The first one I think is like, it's the due little boat because it's named after his wife. Like they clearly had some adventures on the high seas with it because yeah, the whole thing is... Oh, definitely, definitely and those animals were all watching.

Oh, yeah. Maybe they got involved a little bit. Hey, Doc, you're really giving it to her. You want to you wear my polar ber hat? Hey, Doc, good job. Hey, high five. hey Chris did could Mr. Hands talk to animals

he could but you didn't they didn't show the transition he would go like very often and it just translated hey Mr. Hands you want to get fucked

we're in a loving relationship it puts a new meaning to penetration doesn't it folks no absolutely but the the thing about this whale shit which is weird is like so yeah there's this whole like he's got to get

dr doolittle has to get in this like diving bell outfit and he's down there like getting the shit ready and he's just basically like he like they make some sort of whale noise or whatever and the whales hear it and this one whale is like got it dr doolittle and like gets into this and i was like has this particular whale done this before with him or is this some weird like Like, they understood what Dr. Doolittle was asking and then was, like, not a problem. I'm happy to help out a complete stranger. Well, yeah, because he has the machine, the horn machine that talks to the whale. Right.

But my question was, has this particular whale driven Dr. Doolittle's ship for him before? Like, did this guy know the score? Or was it, like, completely new situation? I think it's new. I think it's the idea is like, oh, if someone's talking to me, I should just do what they say. Like, I don't know, man. Like, I can talk to anybody. If somebody tells me to help them move in the middle of the street,

I'm not going to do it. Exactly. This is like, hey. Like, hey, whale, tow my car for me. Whatever you say, Dr. Doolittle. Like, there should have been at least one whale that was like, you know what?

I reserve the right of first refusal. I'm not dragging you. Get out of here. I'm a little late. I've got to get to the school of fish. Got a class at the learning. Well, he's got a garage. Well, he's got a garage.

gorilla and a polar bear up there. He must be a nice guy. Let's give him a ride. Let's go. I'm in the middle of my mating ritual. It takes like three and a half months. I'm a little busy. Oh, that's the, I found it though. The whale goes, like they send out the little horn thing and he's got the apparatus ready to go. And this whale just swims in and he goes, Humphrey here. Let's hook it up. And I'm like, I don't know, Humphrey. What if this thing electrocutes you to death, man? Do you ever think about that? That'd be cool. Yeah, they're going to sell your Baleen, Humphrey. You should be so trusting. exactly. This is the part of the movie where I just wrote a note and I think this speaks volumes. It just

says, I think Russell Madness is a more put together movie than this. I think you're right. 100%. That was a movie about a talking monkey and a dog that rasseled. Way better animal action movie. Previous episode of ours for any new listeners that are not aware of the drag we covered

back in days of your... A more sensible movie through and through, I would say. And yeah, Michael Sheen is giving chase he is doing a evil german kind of mustache twirling impression here you wouldn't know it like someone had to tell you that michael sheen was a german it's weird because he doesn't you could do the accent you can have fun with it you could really mustache twirl but he kind of he doesn't do it he just talks about the umlaut right yes exactly he's like my name has an umlaut in it and i was like okay got that's german enough for do little i guess but so he is like obsessed with dr

Doolittle and he's got like all of these articles that Doolittle is written over the years about his different like animal theories and shit like that and the whole thing is they are both racing to not what we're we're told well the ultimate goal is to get to this Eden tree

island and that's where the magic fruit is that's going to like save the queen but before that we got to get to and yeah just say found youth sure we got to well we got to get to Antonio Banderas's island that's a different island so we can get a

we're just going to get another map is all like the second act of this movie is basically. Is the Eden tree the actual tree from the Bible? That's a great question I don't know and I guess God put a dragon on it just to be sure like you make sense.

Yeah you got to call this thing something else man you can't say the Eden tree. You're right that's dumb. The other thing we're not talking about Antonio Banderas's island is that's where the save point is and then you can go on to the last you're totally right no I mean this movie is very messy

because again reshoots yada this is you can tell that this sequence was 45 minutes longer and somebody at the studio was like fucking cut it because it's just all of a sudden we you know we outrun

Michael Sheen he shakes his fist and then Emmett Thompson shows up again and it's like and that was a fun little adventure and then it took us a while to get on to Antonio Padres his pirate island Dr. Doolittle had to wear a funny hat and like it's all these little like little vignettes of obviously tons of footage that they were just like just get to it just just move it along that's that is the key part of

this whole movie is like put goofy shit on robert downy junior exactly he's on this ship boxing the gorilla in like box crates and like pillows on his head he looks like a god damn homeless boxer like a box car boxer yes a boxcar boxer well this is like this boxing scene or like somewhere around here is where like you have one of these terrible cutaway lines for the animals is like they're boxing and then i think this is around maybe when i don't know backing up a little bit but like when michael sheen first comes into view or something and they cut to craig robinson who's like his little squirrel character's like hanging out on a top mast or something and he sees them and everyone's going nuts and he's like i've got front row seats to crazy town yeah and then a just cuts back to the movie and i was like well glad we uh stop dead for that yeah you know it doesn't always work my favorite moment of kevin's uh he does his own log as the squirrel is when they're i think they're going into is it an Antonio bandaris is or they're going towards the cave i think and he says something along of the lines like like here we go i never thought i'd be following a

squirrel murderer and their deranged leader like this crew of lunatics so i kind of like the outside looking in there because that's how I view the movie is there's a murderer and a deranged leader of these animals but other than that the comedy does suffer in this film yes yeah but so this is we're at we're told it's Monte Verde

and we're getting Lily Doolittle's journal which will show the way to this Eden Tree Island because apparently Antonio Banderas is the father of Lily is that the idea even though he's five years older than Robert Denny

Junior? At most. Absolutely. They went to college together. Yeah, exactly. Then he started dating his daughter. It was a little awkward. That's one of the reasons he doesn't like him, you know. I cannot believe we were roommates in veterinarian school. And now you are betrothed to my daughter. Yeah, blame it on Mount Verde. Well, it's probably like the Green Lantern movie where like it was him, Robert Denny Jr. And the Queen of England were all like buddies in college kind of a thing.

Oh, sure. Yeah. She's only 31 years old. They're both 60. Can you believe how much us college bodies have grown apart? Sarah has now become the queen of England. It's so dumb. You know what's crazy, though? He's Antonio Banderas is the best part of this movie.

Of course he is. He's Antonio Banderas. The crown of England is the only real evil. Oh, yeah, definitely. I mean, there's a reason this guy's. got to be living on an island in the middle of nowhere with his motley crew he's like a pirate king right he is a pirate he is oh i don't i don't i don't pay taxes i don't like a way those go smart man does he make is there something about paying taxes no i don't know but he i mean

that would make some sense oh yeah i mean why else do you go live on an island king rassouli is his name in this movie sure uh yeah so they get they got to sneak in we're sneaking in in a stupid disguise of course uh it's him and the kid And again, like, just being sidled with this little kid for this part. It is the worst. And so I guess they're trying to gain access to the place. And like Manzukas's character here is helping him. This is the, does everybody catch the fucking penis joke in this movie?

Oh, yeah, the massive stinger. Yep. That's insane that that's in this movie. Run that by me again. What was that joke? So the Dragonfly, the Jason Manzookus Dragonfly just shows up. Like, we don't even see like, like, oh, I knew him back when I. I was here with Lily. No, no, it's just a guy.

Well, thank God. I don't need everyone's backstory. Well, we get everybody else's. The ants are there, and the ants, the king of the ants, his daughter used to date the dragonfly. But now the daughter of the

king of the ants, I want to die saying these words. Oh, yeah. Is dating a scorpion who has a massive stinger. Right. And so, That's the Manzuka slug. He goes, what is this?

What is this scorpion got that I don't? Besides a massive stinger. And I'm like, man, can we leave the dick jokes out of the do little movie, please? A scorpion's fucking an ant? Yes. That's what we're told. That ain't normal folks. Later on, the dragonfly to get over his aunt bride.

Also, a dragonfly is fucking an ant. The dragonfly falls in love of the fucking. parrot. It's like, dude, you can't fuck that thing. That ain't right. Well, to be fair, that ain't right either. But the idea that we're teaching

children to have interspecial relations. It's just really something. Suddenly, suddenly, my boy, after watch a do-little, putting his dick in a lizard. That ain't right. My boy's thinking he's fucking one of the Ninja Turtles. My non-existent kid is out there

fucking animals because you're a new little. movie. Hi, Universal Pictures. Your little do-little movie made my son fuck my dog. Huh? Well, what are you going to do about that? I want my money back. I want my $12 back because now my son, fuck my dog.

Can you kill him? Because I want to kill him. Both of them. I'll be honest with you. I can't believe you got a movie talking about animal dicks and a horse is not the subject to the joke. You know, he watched the Doolittle movie. He watched the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, and now he's taking advice from a rat.

It's a slippery slope. That ain't right. That ain't right. So this kid, like, we got to steal a key to get into a secret passage in Antonio Banderas's basement, and that's where, like, he has this vault, like, tribute, place for his dead daughter like in the basement

very strange it's a satanic shrine that he's using to try to resurrect her I imagine I sort of had that thought also and I was like that's for a different movie I'm going to resurrect my dead daughter this is the only real evil left is resurrecting my dead daughter I want much like he got his own little

Puss and Boots spin off I want a king Rizuli spin off where he's trying to bring this daughter back from the dead yes and it fails horribly like he does but she comes back wrong and she's evil and she's killing all this dude's lions oh you know what i renounce of my wish i'm just going to do that i no longer want to sleep in a den of lions like lucifer tells him he has to kill one million animals oh i like this bring back the the dead daughter and then Doolittle's like, oh no, it's World War Animal, and he's got to save

the death. That would be something. Doolittle, too. It's almost as if, like, Antonio Banderas, if they had not made him, I guess, Dr. Doolittle's father-in-law, he could have been, like, the actual villain of the movie. Sure. You'd have an actual villain of something. Like,

you're not going to get to Eden Tree Island first. I'm going to follow you. It's something like that. Well, stop it. There's snively whiplash. I mean, Michael Sheen. Yes, but he has, he does nothing in this movie pretty much. He just, he gets beat. He's bested yet again every five minutes and that's it.

The, the funniest thing, because someone already mentioned the fact that he's just in like one boat chasing after Doolittle. The funniest detail is that they definitely say like, oh yeah, and Jim Broadbent has sent the fleet after Dr. Doolittle. And it's just this one boat, you cheap-ass movie. Maybe it's like an improv thing. You just got to like imagine it. You know what I mean? Oh shit. Yeah, they're not doing enough

object works. A couple chairs of the back represent the rest of the shit. I am sending you my most powerful boats, the invisible fleet. Don't worry. They're there. So yeah, Dr. Jew little is jailed. and he's going to be executed by being fed to lions. This is where we have, and I don't know.

Oh, a tiger, excuse me, you're right. And this is where we have, and I don't know why he would feel the need to go uncredited in this movie, but it's just Will Arnett playing this Jack Rabbit that's in jail. Yeah. And like, I don't know, man. Everybody else is fine with being embarrassed enough of being associated with this movie. Like, you're not above it, Will Arnett?

credited for voicing this. Was he afraid of losing the Reese's gig or what? Yeah, I don't know. Maybe it's a thing where it's like, you could only be credited for one voice thing at a time and you still doing BoJack. Maybe he was part of his BoJack contract. I don't know.

It's possible. Netflix was going to come after him. Yeah, but he's like basically taking bets on whether Dr. Doolittle is going to die kind of a thing. And Dr. Doolittle is then put in this cage with Barry the tiger here, voiced by Ray Fine. which is like I don't know

it's another just dumb scene he also has mother issues and that's great because kids are gonna love that and I guess it gets weird with Ray Fines here like it takes a

we're spending a lot of time on it and B it's just sort of just like and I'll never be good enough for her and it's just it gets really deep and dark and it's like nah you know what nah

yeah no not not for this movie if if the fucking massive stinger thing wasn't bad enough the gorilla fights the fucking tiger and he gets hit in the nuts climatically and says a tiger berries berries got hit I'm like I want to die now

set me on fire well this is after Emma Thompson decides to do a terror attack on Queen Rosulis Island or whatever the fuck I forgot that yes oh right they throw like a fucking thing a dynamite they do in like the church

no no it's where there's it's where they're like storing all the gunpowder and shit so it really lights up this fucking castle like part of it falls off it's way too much of a response especially it's you're related to this man by marriage exactly

dude you're just like fucking with family at this point and you're definitely killing like a cat at least in that explosion exactly don't be talking to me about that no no no you killed your own well you definitely know like Antonio Banderas is kind of a weird like he's not talking

to these animals, but he's got an odd closeness with animals because like during the bombing, they cut to like his dining room or whatever and he's having some great feast to celebrate the death of Dr. Doolittle or whatever. And he is at a dining

table with both human beings and animals. And he's got tiger makeup on as well kind of a thing. Yes, he's got tiger makeup on. He, there's like a bear and a hat. There's like wolves that are just sitting at the table with him. No, is it I don't know what's going on.

Is Lily Doolittle the one that had the magic with all the animals that then spread it to her father and the doc? I guess. I don't know. It's a weird, like, you never see him talking to these animals, but these animals are living amongst this guy like people, and it is a strange arrangement. Ah, yes, this is my closest, my closest assistant, Jerry the Jackal, he's an actual jackal. And, I mean, he must have some Van Gogh. debt against like something like because that jack rabbit is in jail like he has he has imprisoned both human beings and animals i don't know what this guy's got going on he also has a nick fury

eye patch like what what happened to the jack rabbit did the jack rabbit get into a knife fight at some point i guess maybe he had to maybe he had to fight the tiger too or something he lost his eye from eating too many wreaths so whatever this tiger It's kicked in the nuts. You could get him at the bank. Oh, no, you can't. It's commercial. Bye.

We're told that because technically, I guess, Dr. Doolittle won his life and was not eaten by this tiger. The Jackrabbit lost $50,000 gambling. That's something. They're using American money, I guess. At that point, aren't you still on de Bloons at that point? Yeah, definitely gold coins, absolutely. Maybe he doesn't specify a.

currency. Maybe he just says he lost 50,000 on it. But there's definitely a I just lost 50,000 on that fight or whatever. I would hope it'd be something like 50 large. I just took out a reverse mortgage.

I talked to a rabbit that sounded exactly like a Tom Selleck. He sold me a reverse mortgage. Reverse mortgages are the only true evil left. They really are. It was between him and a salamander that

sound like William Devane I wish that would be kind of something I think he does reverse mortgages things too oh doesn't that make sense is he still kicking I think he's still around

or maybe just recently I don't know I think Devane is still with us maybe not I don't know if I thought so I would like to I would like to think

I would have heard if William Devane passed away that guy is going to get Farina whenever it happens oh for sure no he seems to be alive he's alive

he's alive he's alive Good for you. Hey, born in Albany, New York. And by the way, folks at home, if you're listening to this in the future and he's dead, don't tweet at us. Yeah, I really, really don't give a shit to see that tweet from you. We're recording this on January 2nd, 2021. Just so you know, if he's dead, you don't have to tweet at us that he's dead now.

Yeah, we'll have heard. We'll have heard. Yeah, so like they get Antonio Banderas like kind of back on their side or whatever because he overhears the, this is the funniest thing in the world, this overhearing when like Dr. Doolittle, he's like, all right, you know, I'm totally given up. Michael Sheen, Michael Sheen bombs his boat and destroys it and all the animals are like standing on the shore and he's like, I'm just going to set up shop right here and offer medical advice to people on this island or whatever. And he mentions like kind of whispering, I think to the boy

about like how he cares for Lily and he still misses her and yada yada. And then like from 40 feet away, Antonio Banderas is like, I heard every word you said. And I'm like, what are you talking about? There's no way. But he basically is like, you know, oh, I still miss my daughter too. Okay, I guess you're not that much of a scumbag. You know, I will let you, I'll let you live so you can go track this dude down and save the day or whatever. And I'm also going to give you a boat and it's like a total piece of shit boat, but whatever, it gets us off this island. Yeah, to the next island. On to the next island, everybody.

There's a weird, there's a totally weird plimpton, the ostrich comment about, because this is where, like, the ostrich has kind of been, like, contentious with John Cena's polar bear the whole time. And, like, they start bonding right around here, like, when all seems lost. And do you catch this line where the ostrich basically says that his father once told him that he should have been aborted? No, I missed that one. I really did. Maybe I had my own volume. Yeah, the ostrich goes,

one time my father said I should have been an omelet. Yeah. That's pretty funny. Yeah, I mean, there's all this shit. I'm like, why can't they be talking about like, you know, fun stuff? I don't know how much they like eating fucking chicken feed. Exactly.

It's so stupid. By the way, I didn't say it, but the tiger is, they give him a last name. it's Barry Bornstein and I was like is this a Jewish thing with the mother like I yeah I was like we're doing that yeah I was like this is a little weird this is really fucking weird oh yeah that's insane I totally missed the Bournestein part I miss I totally missed the last name did they give a social security number two born in London shipped to this goddamn forsaken island I just don't get it you're and you're right it'd be fun of

it was like cute stuff like he can't stop eating the wrong kind of food or like oh man he farts too much like that's something yeah dude Steve you're totally right my kingdom for a fucking fart joke with one of these animals sure not the dragon thing but just yeah like oh my god the gorilla can't stop farting and like at some point he uses his fart power and like knocks out a bunch of guards or something and is it he you know he frees dr. do little due to farting like that's the level of this movie not this like this like talking cure nonsense that we have to go through not that oh man my fucking my girlfriend cheated on me i've never been the same like i don't know dude you're a fucking ostrich relax

it is so weird to give these animals psychological problems i really just don't understand the thought process like this was this is one of those like so many people had to say yes so many people had to say yes to this tiger this jewish tiger having some sort of fucking mom problems like get out of here with all of it it is exhausting how terrible this movie is so michael sheen is on the high seas in his super boat and uh he's far away and the whales are catching up to him and they flip him off oh yes yes they they they should they show the whales like flippers coming like out of the water a little bit and one of the whales is like i'm flipping him off

Jesus Christ. Is this for the one 13-year-old who saw this? Like, I thought there's a baby shit. If I was given a pass on Doolittle, I probably would have said, done the flipping him off joke too. I think that was one of the highlights of the film. That was one of your favorites.

Yeah. Flipping them off of that kind of joke, though, I'm sorry to tell you, that's Shrek territory. It definitely is, but this is. That's a Shrek joke.

This movie is Shrek territory, and it ain't right. Yeah. Well, would be like you know in another shrek movie they team up with moby dick for some reason right and then like that's that's where the flipping him off joke would donkey's like that's a big dick shrek oh yeah shrek's like i don't know what would he say at the side of all these things i want to suck it but it would be a pun on something like the off stage off screen there's a jolly

ranch and he goes like i meant this jolly rancher no that big dick i'm gonna deep throw out that dick the headline is shrek franchise finally destroyed by the writers also known as the creators of we hate movies that shrek that shrek five was fine but then he starts making this dick sucking jokes but you know you bring up a great point Andrew we are due for our moment in the sun and i think writing shrek five or six might be that so we all hate movies at gmail.com for serious business inquiries only absolutely it's very serious so the whales also like help them i guess the boat like kind of gets into a slipstream situation or something and they like the or the whales they don't help them go faster the whales direct them to the island

which i'm like why didn't you just do that in the first place why did we even have to stop in Antonio banderis's house if you can just go to these whales and be like hey man where's that island That's where the same point was. Not only it was at the save point, the checkpoint, you got to get there before you go to the rest of it, but that's where her journal was. Yeah, right. Had a journal about how to use the fruit of the Eden tree or something?

No, and Michael Shee sealed it. It was a map to the place. Yeah, it was a journal that had a map in it. Did Dolittle get it? He did, but then Michael Sheed took it. Yes, Michael Sheen stole it from him after he got it. like my point was they didn't even need it because all they

do after they lose the map is go hey whale where do we get to this island and they're like right away guv and they just like they show him so it's like you could have just bypassed all that if you just asked to whale the first time but it can't be 80 minutes it's illegal

for the movie to be 80 minutes I mean I will say again there's definitely the first cut of this movie is absolutely two and a half hours long and somebody was like absolutely not and I want to make a statue of that person because it's only an hour and 49 minutes which is a blessing

well here's the thing it's a blessing that it's so short but it's cut up and incomprehensible I would point out the Rex Harrison movie is two and a half hours long and it's breezy oh is that right

maybe if this movie was longer it would at least like make a little more sense I don't know I felt like it wouldn't feel like such a chop job. Yeah, it feels like I'm in like quicksand with this movie. Like I like I said, it feels like it's as long as the Irishman, even though it's like an hour and 49 minutes. I just felt

like it went on forever until the dragon part. Right. It sucks. I watched this movie on a New Year's Day. It was the first movie that I watched in 2021. The last movie that I watched in 2020 was Dr.

Javago, which is over three hours long, the cut that we watched. and you know what it was fucking great and it totally flew by like a better better movie well it's a better movie of course but it's it's a movie that is significantly longer than this movie and whereas i didn't feel a drag in dr javago this movie was a drag top to bottom and it's like half its runtime oh you do need someone who knows how to you know entrance an audience i guess you were david leans a little bit better than stephen Gagon. Yeah, the pacing is a little easier in Chavago. But yeah, he gets to this island with Michael Sheen and they're setting up a camp to go into this super cave where the dragon is. Dude, you have a shot of these animals all scaling this mountainside?

Okay, like, I don't know, man. One of these things has fallen to their death. You know what I mean? I mean, that's the thing is one of these animals needs to die or have a brush with death and we can see Dr. Doolittle, it'll be a fucking doctor. That would be great, yes, exactly. Oh, man, not a psychiatrist. Like, oh, man, I broke my leg, Doc. What are you going to do about it?

And he fucking fixes it. It's adorable. Exactly. Exactly. Because the only doctoring you get is at the end of this movie with one of the animals that we just meet, like, in that scene. So it's not any of the characters, you know, the beloved characters you've come to love throughout this movie.

He bandaged the squirrel in the beginning. And then, like, the fucking giraffe does a long. jump at one point and all the legs would just be gone at that point so why don't help the giraffe maybe or I mean because I don't know man like I got a feeling this gorilla's fallen off this mountainside absolutely

and then just a bunch of pies at the bottom of the mountain so you know they get to the mouth of this cave and oops Michael Sheen is there already but then sheen like sheen's like oh good I'm glad you're here you know you can

lead us to this tree and Dr. Doolittle's like I don't know where this fucking tree is and then like Michael Sheen gets so pissed off well the weird thing is like Michael Sheen's mission from Jim Broadbent is to just make sure that Dr. Doolittle doesn't save the queen's life so should we have killed him at any other point other than you know what I mean like yep but then later on like when he when they're betraying him on fucking pirate island he's like oh that's because I'm going to get all the credit for discovering Eden tree island when did this happen why is this the story you're totally right dude it's like all he has to do is stall for time and just wait it out because this woman's been poisoned like you know who cares about your

dude if you discover it right the people are going to be like hey man uh you know michael sheen you could have gone back and saved the queen with this fruit you discovered it's good point but you're saying you discovered this fruit and then didn't save her what's that about that's a great point i mean just shoot do little or something because i mean i think that's laid out that Michael Sheen gets like a house entitled, he gets to be the head of the Royal Medicine Academy or something if the queen dies.

So to shoot this guy and sit pretty, discover something later. Yeah, you know how to get there, like, just come back. You got the journal, do it. So, you know, and he's like, so, you know, I'm going to be the one who gets credit for discovering this island and he plants the British flag down on the ground

and uh-oh, you actually poked the flesh of a dragon who's been sleeping in this cave and I'm like, I already knew there was a dragon in this movie like that had already been spoken of because this movie came out like what, January of 2020? So like people have spoiled this

which is just fine. Don't worry about it. Not a complaint from me. But like, I feel like had I not known that I would have been like gobsmacked. Like, wait, there's a, there's a dragon in this movie now, ladies and gentlemen, this movie certainly does drag on. Maybe that's the ultimate trolling.

It's like, oh, you think the movie's long now, do you? Well, now there's a drag on. I mean, I don't think the, the dragon might not have surprised me. What occurs with the dragon would surprise? It surprised me the first time I saw it. I was like, what? This is what you, this is all leading up to. By the way, really hilariously to break in here, newsflash, this is one of the highest grossing movies of 2020, if you could believe it.

Number seven with a bullet, my friends. Oh, wow. Inside the top ten, ain't that a bitch? You know, just some reasons, you know. Circumstances. Circumstances, you know. Yeah, so like this dragon starts waking up. Michael Sheen, and this is the thing, like, props to the movie for killing the wife off,

but like Michael Sheen needed to also stay dead here when he falls off a cliff into darkness. Like, I'm sorry. He needs to be there chomped. by that dragon or burned by that dragon. Yep, you're totally right. And he said, it's just him being like a, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. And he falls off this cliff and you're like, okay. And then the other offscreen thing that's bullshit is this dragon picks up

one of Sheen's guys and totally chars him off screen. And it's just in service of the only duck joke I remember is the duck is looking at this crispy critter situation happen. And then she goes like, whoa! and lays an egg and you're like all right that's kind of like a shitting your pants joke I get it did you guys stick around the credits and see what

happens to Michael Sheet? Yes yep yeah it's it's also dumb but so yeah then this dragon starts talking the dragon is voiced by Francis Delator the only thing I remembered her from is she is in one of a few of them there Harry Potter movies

yes that's the giant queen lady or whatever she is yes yes she's the head of I think it's like the French school. Yes, and she's a giant herself. She's like bang and hag right at the end of that series. Yeah, the raw dog. Nice.

Bang and Hagrid. Nice. I'm got a girlfriend, Harry. Hag in the bag. Hag in the bag. That's my favorite brassers title. If you can read this, Harry, the hag fell off. I'm being fucked Harry.

Hi, Harry. If you come bar my shack and. Midnight tonight, you won't last 15 minutes. All right, Harry, I know he said the policy was you and your friends could drop by old Hagrid's place whenever you wanted. But rules and situations have changed, Harry, if you come by my old shack and it's a rocking, you and your little friends best not come a knocking, eh, Harry? I'm slamming ass, Harry. I'm about to watch a banging Hangrid three, wet beard, a cat white. Wait, Hagrid is watching pornography that he's also starring him?

No, no, no. This is like back in the suburbs. He's just a porn star now. After his days with Harry Potter. I can't get the lube out of my beard. It's dripping like it's all like to slide. I just dip it in a vat of loo and pull it out. That's awful.

Imagine him naked covered in Lou. No, no. I don't want to, I do not want to imagine Robbie Coltrane naked, thank you. Fucking like dragon talks to him and fox them and then maybe some horses or whatever else gets involved. Well, speaking of dragons and do little, he takes a look at this dragon and he's determining that the dragon has an impacted colon because of all the loneliness and stress. And you're like, okay. That's my problem too. not this holiday food

seriously so he's like all right dragon let's see what we can do here all my animal friends roll this dragon under her side and oh yeah I bet it's a little tender right there huh

and I guess he touches like a dragon hemorrhoid or something because she starts like freaking out and he's like all right let me get in here and he uses and there's a joke

that they really just try their best to keep making work in this movie where the duck is his like medical assistant and when he asks for different like medical instruments she just keeps giving him

like vegetables and stuff so she gives him a thing of leaks right here and he's like oh leaks yes would any good Welsh person blah blah blah and I'm like okay

the Welsh do like their leaks that's fine and then I think he's using this leak it's going to prop it open right so it's I mean like literally you don't talk about browser

he is putting leaks up her ass. Yeah, but maybe like he might be doing both holes. We don't know. Yeah, who knows what's going on down there? Well, I think it's a thing to like prop it up like a tent. So then he can get in there. Because then he's taking

all this stuff out of her ass like it's jaws. Richard Dreyfus cuts open the shark. There's like helmets falling out and shit. I think this dragon burps up a license plate. It's a battalion from the Spanish army. Yeah. There's like, Kistador helmets and stuff. The little kitten voice pops

out. It's really something. and then like he's like oh and this next part here and he like moves and then like he gets farted in his face the dragon just lets some gas out

and like it is someone turned on like a turbo fan on the set to Robert Denny Jr.'s Because he's getting knocked back by this win and it's not he's selling it like oh it's perfectly natural it's okay now you can fart in my face and everybody does it

What did he be set on fire? Yeah, exactly. Dragon with a fire blood. Like, this is, you'd imagine something would like this methane gas on fire. It's insane. And then, like, he keeps digging shit out of there. And then he definitely has a line where he's like, all right now, dragon. Uh, yes, there should be one last push, madam, and we'll be finished.

Yes, exactly. This dragon is screaming. And he falls backwards and pulls a full set of bagpipes out of this dragon's ass. come on i see the problem madam you've got a fusili jerry stuck up there million to one shot doc million to one it is just the bagpipes are really silly i mean it's i it's just kind of gross and like you i don't know like a movie wherein it's all about actual animals introducing a dragon this late in the game is just a no go for me yep yep and it's like

i get their logic it's like well this is a you know know undiscovered un inhabited magical island yada yada and i'm like okay but there is an army of animals in this movie that you've done nothing with except have like vague psychological problems it could be a big alligator like a really scary alligator yeah you know sure oh yeah it's like a tropical island yeah you could make that work and you didn't even like use it like they used the whales twice like i was like he's like we have to find the coordinates of the boat and i was like why don't you use dolphins or sharks or like literally any other animal and it's like I would have liked a little bit more variety of just like other things he can talk to I don't

know if I didn't need the dragon I didn't need the supernatural would be good also what is the gag about there's two little like capuchin looking monkeys that don't talk but they have names that was unfortunate they're the lawyers yeah there's lawyers yeah there's like a baby lion at one point. It's like a BB. Oh, right. That thing totally gets dropped from the movie.

Yes. It creep me right out too. Because it's like a fucking screen saver from the lion. But yeah, so the bag, here's the thing I have to say. And I think it's like,

you know, because you can keep it a PG movie, like the blessing here is that none of the stuff popping out of this fucking dragon's ass ass is like soaked. Oh yeah. covered in blood blood and shit doesn't r dj get covered in some of like her vomit or bile at some

yes is it the dragon yeah like yeah like sort of like sneezes something in his face or something because he's like wrapped up in her tail at one point and she's like about to eat him oh no chich we've we've got an anal tear we're going to have to do emergency surgery it's dangerous dude it's not not all fun in games down there definitely no dude you can get a pro-lap situation going come on let's get into the real deal medical stuff exactly even though i guess so he's firmly a psychologist in this and not an md well no it's it's i think it's both yeah because he does do you know the surgery on the squirrel at the beginning that's true gets the pellet out of He moves a bullet from a squirrel, okay.

Yeah. The bullet's doing just fine. So we get the fucking, the dragon is fine. We know that because it goes from red to blue. Like an actual video game shit. Like that's fucking. Yeah. You're totally right, dude.

It's like, oh, now, you know what? The dragon's not blinking anymore. We've defeated it. And then like we're putting around the island. We find he only takes one of these fruits. I would take like a bushel. Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

What are you doing? You can go back to and cure the fucking plague or whatever else is going on, dude. Yeah. And this is the point, like, he's just putter around the aisle. I'm like, and then his wife shows up. And then his wife shows up. And then his wife. And it happened. I was shocked. I was really shocked. I was shocked too. It was crazy. Or like, you know, when he unimpacks the asshole of that dragon, it turns back into the wife. Yes. Oh, how about this? He pulls out his wife, Skellington, from her butt.

Oh, really? That would be so funny. Oh, that's, that's, that's. That's the wedding ring I gave. You must learn to forgive, Dr. Doolittle. You must learn to forgive. No, we must kill this dragon. Yeah, he's ready to slay this dragon. Dude definitely finds a sword somewhere. That'd be something.

It's kind of surprising that with a dragon that breathes fire in this movie, there's no moment where Robert Downey Jr. is brandishing a sword for some reason. I feel like this should have been a... You're going this far to put a dragon in this movie. How about a sword in the stone? Just right there. Sure.

Yeah, I mean, you're too busy putting pillows and blankets on his face or whatever the fuck they're doing it, like the hats on his dick or whatever the hell. But at this point, like, Excalibur, sure, Merlin, fucking Gandalf, whatever you want. Exactly. Yeah, because they're gonna pepper and some Gandalf. Some hobbits. Just do it. Whatever you want to do. The sword and the stone.

Oh, only, only Dr. Doolittle can understand what the hobbits are saying with their creepy little mouths. Oh, ew. Ew, ew. Oh, my God. of all the creatures I've seen in the wooded forest, these hobbits are... Am I supposed to talk to the feet?

The hairy feet? The feet. Yeah, that's how you've got to talk to hobbits. Their mouths are on their feet. Yeah, so then we just, we fucking race back to England is the idea. You know, because this woman is about to expire. And Jim Broadbent is like,

he's got the priest in there, like, doing the last right's like oh yes i am going to be the king of england soon enough now uh and then they like break in you know robert denger jr runs in i think on the bear or something yes and the ostrich maybe i don't know and then he's oh i think um and the giraffe shows up all this stuff i mean we should say that she was poisoned by jim broadband by the way and he's for some reason he's still keeping the poison on him like dude this lady is dead yeah that that's true it's like in his coat pocket you got to toss that shit well his credit he couldn't have foreseen that he would be done in by a stick bug who's been hanging

out on a painting for like what a week or something yeah in jesse buckley's room i mean that's how like he's like he's like yes poison yes in jim broadbent's buck oh yes let's end the movie shall we yes let's end the movie now uh so they yeah they race in and it's again it's got to be a huge last second action sequence where like this little kid is flying up like on a chandelier or some shit and he like has to squeeze the fruit right over the queen's mouth and just the

little droplet falls on her I'm just like give her this fruit and let's end this why does that be a thing where there's like there's a fight scene in this this scene like we're doing this whole fight the octopus is strangling a guy like it's just

it's enough it's over with it's too much it's too much and then it ends with him back at his mansion beautiful mansion and it's dr doolittle and associates now because we're pitching a showtime show folks you're right and the the fucking placard completely changed it's like oh and also adventures oh and choir within that's the best thing it's like open for adventures it's like literally like hey we're looking for a deal here we can we can get uh robert deli jr to come

in for like two episodes of season please please pick us up please i think you're right it's those it's the two little ass kids because also like the girl gives him like a little peck on the cheek thing like thanks for saving I don't know my cousin or however I'm related Yes Is that your girlfriend

No Mama grampy And I'm saying you do a dating now Also you need the thing Where like Jim Broadbent is executed Yeah Yeah Because it's just a like

Take him away kind of a thing This is high treason dude yep exactly and it would be like oh we brought in a special friend and he's in a cage and then that Jewish tiger comes back yeah it's like he's on loan from Antonio Benderas to eat you alive

Jim Brod and we see like the tiger now has like this giant like cast over his nuts I still cannot believe that that exists in this movie he's asking Jim Broadbent if he knows where any good conishes are And yeah, you know, the movie gets to the credits, thankfully, without bringing this wife back from the dead, which is great. You know, we've got, there's a funny thing where it's all told to us in painting form only, because the credits are running at this point.

And again, maybe this was in this longer cut that got butchered. But there's a whole like Star Wars-esque, we're all getting medals for saving the queen. at the end of this movie and it's all these little paintings depicting it and i mean man unlike star wars with fucking chubacca dude these these little uh animals are all getting uh little freedom medals here well they're all like getting like a royalty dude like people are like dude that the dog's a duke oh man my dog duke who's also a duke uh so that's kind of you know they're like continuing the story in painting form which again i was like you should have just made it an animated movie. It would have been pretty cool.

And then the Stinger scene we should just talk about really quickly. Yeah. It sets up nothing. Like so Michael Sheen didn't die in that fall, but he, I guess maybe I'm choosing to look at it this way because at least the villain gets some come up and he's eaten by these bats. Yes. Oh. I think he's trying to talk to the bats and like, I'm like, are they going to set up evil doctor do a little here? No. No, no, no. He's going to become the Batman. Oh, I see. come on you know and it's a thing though where he does try to talk to the bats in in bat and the bats like you see their little cgai face like whatever he says to them it's like offensive

and i think that's the perfect time for his subtitle joke yeah just really quickly put in a subtitle joke oh what did michael sheen actually say to this bat something about his dead mother like okay and then the bats attack him because as it is like you know you see all the little red lies eyes light up and it's like oh there's a bunch of bats in here and then they all kind of like fly towards the camera much like a Batman movie and I guess he's kind of screaming but I need to see this

dude fucking chewed up man in my head canon I was like okay they're eating his face got yeah totally exactly well I guess this movie inspired our imaginations after all yeah I mean I want him to like call them blood suckers and he's like no you don't get to call us that and then he eats them up

oh that would be great dude you make some like vampire reference and they're furious dude's a little racist to the little bats I don't like it we don't like that hashtag not all bats dude we're very useful in the in the animal kingdom we carry a lot of diseases too but come on be nice to us oh yeah he gets COVID 1 yeah COVID 1878 or whatever this dumb movie takes place uh and man blissfully That's the end of this movie. I gotta like take a breather here for a second. Would anybody recommend do little? No, it's kind of a waste. It's a total waste of time. There's just nothing here.

And again, the only thing you would want is Robert Danny Jr. Having a good time, which he's just totally settled with this bad accent and kind of barely in the movie. Like he's just not in it a whole lot, which is kind of weird screen time-wise. It just sucks and it's a waste of time

and it's an abomination that's, yeah absolutely terrible movie i i kind of i wanted to see this because i am really interested in what the fuck he wants to do after iron man and it seems like baby shit yeah producing and baby shit and like and just whatever franchises he's still connected to and that's sad to me because he's an incredible actor to me uh but yeah i hate this movie and you should never see it well you know this movie did get uh you got a tiger getting kicked in the nerds so it's got that going for it but it's still a don't little for me so don't see it's don't little yeah i mean chris i agree with you that like i i love rdj and i'm

just waiting to see like what is the next thing and i mean you look at that i mdb the only thing that's coming up is that sherlock holmes three which i mean who even knows what that's about I would not be surprised if he's floating in this third Spider-Man movie in some way. Like if we're doing all these universes and whatnot, you know. Oh, by the way, I just looked at my notes. I almost forgot something in this little ending here back at Do Little Manor. Another boy gets trapped in the net. It's like the postman boy or whatever, the male boy.

Oh, they're just going to eat that kid probably. But it's just like, is this designed to capture children? What is going on at Do Little Manor? oh man yeah that's right dude it should have been a much more nefarious dr doolittle yeah dark little oh that's in the dark little universe that's going to be starting up by universal oh god the talking animal universe how about dr jackal and mr hyde versus dr dark little he talks to all the evil

animals you're gonna get a two hour movie what's an evil animal what's an evil animal yeah like So it would just be like what? Like snakes and bats? No, no, he just knows English. It just talks to people. Oh, man. That is Doolittle.

That, for whatever reason, wasn't called Dr. Doolittle from 2020. Directed, sort of, written sort of by Stephen Gagan. Woof, man. That was a tough one. And we will continue on the worst of 2020 here on We Hey movies all throughout this month. You have already heard our episode on Wonder Woman 1984. uh i did mention it briefly but check out the patreon because this month we also have a we love movies episode on the birds of prey film which is just quite an excellent motion picture uh that's on

patreon dot com slash we hate movies you got a lot of stuff coming up here in the month of january content wise here um what else is floating around what do we know the the the the gleep glossary yes we do it is uh it's mr bones which is a battle droid uh reprogramed by a procrocious little kid so if you like this episode check out the gleepe glossary on mr bones he's like a Deadpool droid is the idea kind of sort of yeah it's an annoying droid it's yeah wait he's not like a skeleton that plays jazz we'll get to listen to the episode crats okay i i'll wait uh and of course the nexus returns back to regular programming this month so we'll be on our t o s t and g

as always but Steve Sadek what else do we have coming down the line here on We Hey Movies Don't get off your do little boats just yet because we're going to Fantasy Island

Oh man Blumhouse's Fantasy Island You'll never believe Blumhouse Oh you'll never believe it It's Blumhouse it's different It's scary It's a scary island

I gotta say It's a horror movie I really hate how like The trend has become of like you know like film people or Twitter or letterbox like people like obsessed with like little niche distributors like that

Blumhouse oh 824 it's like calm down it's just another fucking movie company yep yeah well I mean Blumhouse is a production company

that just insists on putting their name in front of everything like that matters and I guess maybe it matters to some people they see that they're like oh man the new Blumhouse horror movies coming. That's how I read in the 90s that's how I acted to what was that offshoot

of Miramax Dimension film? Yeah, I love dimension dude. You were in for a genre-tastic good time with dimension. But so next week we are going to TV adaptation town with Fantasy Island. This movie is rather crazy.

This one I have seen before so I can testament to its craziness. It's a Nutsa one and maybe you recommend I don't know. We'll see on my rewis but right now i'm kind of recommending that movie it's a wild one i'm excited what's the and so we've got two have seen and two have not seen i've not seen i've seen i've seen it i've watched oh you oh you did okay so oh eric eric siska with the first look next week when we are talking blumhouses fantasy island until then i'm andrewan steven steven eric siska

chris gavin take it easy That was a hate gum podcast.