We Hate Movies - S11: Episode 529 - The Karate Kid Part II

Episode Date: February 2, 2021

On this week's episode, the gang is chatting about the wild karate-driven sequel, The Karate Kid Part II! How horrendously embarrassed must Miyagi be dealing with this kid at the airport? What's with Sato's escort service? And how many times did Miyagi "fix that refrigerator"? PLUS: Featuring the voice talents of "Peter Falk," "Alan Alda," and "Gary Busey." The Karate Kid Part II stars Noriyuki 'Pat' Morita, Ralph Macchio, Martin Kove, Yuji Okumoto, Danny Kamekona, Tamlyn Tomita, and Nobu McCarthy; directed by John Avildsen. Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the program, is this and I got it by the way situation? Some of us may think so. It's the karate kid too. I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Siddak. Eric Siska. The karate cabin. We hate movies.

Hello, Hello, everyone, welcome to we hate movies. Thank you for tuning in. As always, that's right, we are back to the grind. a month of stuff that came out last year. We're talking the Karate Kid 2 from 1986, directed by the late great John Avaldsen.

King. Quick question. Just run the horn. What do we think the movie The Karate Cabin would be, aside from actually Chris Cabin doing karate? Like, is it a cabin full of, like, karate heroes? I feel it is a much like a much derided movie, Beverly Hills Ninja,

except for, like, on, like, low like 2000-grade DV. Like, really shitty. digital video yeah like just no money whatsoever so it's like the anniversary party but with karate yes exactly i was envisioning more of an evil dead scenario where there's like this one necronomicon type of book that shows you the best karate moves like steals the peach i like it i like that yeah not bad not bad eric steals the peach and then everything goes haywire yeah karate demons come out and like your girl your dead girlfriend's doing karate against you and then

i have to steal peaches that all sounds great actually i was going to say steve the anniversary party could have used some karate in it absolutely just going to toss that out there uh you know alan coming just drop kicking jennifer jason lee someone steals his peach you know the whole thing great it's a big fucking karate fight for this anniversary party uh cabin would you be making karate cabin on that low grade 20 year old DV in 2021 though? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Thus guaranteeing your movie would

look totally unwatchable to a modern eyeball. It has to be washed out as fuck. Like, I mean, just like, like no telling of color, just whiteness blaring through the screen. And like hard to look at is what I'm going for, really.

Whiteness blaring through the screen, great segue to Ralph Machio. Yes, exactly. Excellent. You know, I got to say I got beef with something here something like before I even pressed play on this movie. I rented this movie on Apple last night.

And this is, it's the same thing, same goes for Amazon. I don't know where else this might be featured. The poster art for this movie is absolutely atrocious. What do we talking? Really? I mean, I think it might be because, you know, Amazon and

no, Amazon has is a different one. I was, is it them in the black background nothing's going on it's no I mean because that's what the poster is right like the poster is the two of them black background and then like the title and the tagline and everything are sort of like in the middle of the bottom of the poster this is it's clearly like we made this for streaming some fucking intern was doing terrible Photoshop it's still the two of them but like it just looks atrocious just absolutely atrocious and like I've been noticing that a lot more lately and I've been having

less and less patience for it but Jesus Christ these streaming platforms that are like I guess for whatever reason you can't license the original poster art so you gotta have fucking Fred the intern make some garbage fake poster this has to stop we need legislation they want to make it look more exciting and the original poster looks a little too arty

yeah people know that this is a dumb karate movie yeah it looks so exciting my only reaction to it was wow that looks like shit and then I press play I guess because my Amazon rental, or it was for free on Amazon, whatever the fuck, my Amazon file started with this warning. We should start with it too. This film includes language and or cultural stereotypes that are inconsistent with today's standards of inclusion and tolerance and may offend some viewers. Oh, boy. There you go.

Yeah, that's it. I mean, because this podcast might offend some listeners. Yeah, yeah. We should get one of those. Are you triggered lib? Trigger. Yeah, that's my new comedy special, no warnings. I'm sick of these Amazon warnings.

Are you? Oh, man, be sure to tune in to Crackle for my latest stand-up special, Danger Zone. You come to see me tell some bad jokes. You're in the fucking danger zone, pal. My new comedy special, Karate Kid, Part 2, is actually not racist. That's a special. I mean, the biggest, most glaring thing.

is the John Crease racial slur in the parking lot sure that's not great to Mr. Miyagi to its credit I do but it's like he's a shithead character

you know he's the villain that's not like Bill and Ted using gay slurs like John Crease is the Valley's number one scumbag to be fair and you're right and I don't mind like slurs by bad characters

if it's in service of something maybe and blah blah blah but I think that this movie warrants the warning just by the amount of gongs in the score alone. It's just like, you know, dude, you got three gongs.

Let's put a fucking warning up here because this is ridiculous. Now, actually, we are, hi, this is John Abbotson. Hi, everybody. How are you doing? We actually went through 2,000 gongs

recording all the music for this movie. We went through 2,000 of them, 2000. And you know what? Those get billed to you. You have to put those down on paper, and you know, that's what you wonder why

movies are so expensive. I love the song 2000 gongs by 10,000 maniacs That's a math problem That's an old song It's from gong ago Oh man

Yeah but you know I mean Gongs in general Just get him out of my face They're loud I don't know I will say one thing About the music in this movie

The fucking glory of love song Fucking rules Oh yes Yes absolutely old What's his face Peter Saterra I believe Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. And maybe there's a question for the end, but I mean, like, so if we're doing checks and balances,

is that a better song than you're the best around from the first film? I kind of think so, yeah, yeah. I mean, I think. Yeah, I mean, I think. Hermly, yes. They're both great. The first one, the song from the first one's more like, kitsy. This is one you could play anywhere, dudes.

Dude, you can play out of your wedding and your wife would cry. That's exactly right. You can't be playing you're the best around at weddings. you look like a total asshole. Honey, honey, can we dance our first dance to Peter Sita? Oh, I'm divorced. I actually, you guys were there. I actually did play that song in my wedding. You're the best around.

That's true. It wasn't, but it wasn't the first dance for you and your wife, was it? I think it was us coming out. I think it was the coming out, yeah. Yes, yes. Well, that's totally fine. But you guys were invited to an asshole wedding. You knew what you were getting into.

I had a great time at your wedding, by the way. I got fucking super drunk. Wasn't your first dance to What Does the Fox Say? This is, no. No, that was my first dance with Eric's brother at the wedding. It was me and Eric's brother fucking got down to that song, Hardcore. And yeah, the year of what does the Fox say?

It was a long, long time. It was gone ago, actually. It was gone ago. That should not make me giggle as much as it does, but I don't know. It just does. I'm sorry, I can't, you know. I love that this movie. um this movie really starts out with a solid as previously on the karate kid it's crazy in such a way though

where like i'm not pissed off by the previously on it's like almost as if you get everything you kind of need out of the karate kid from this previously on it's a little i feel like they go through it a little too much i could have just gone with the uh just recapping the end of the tournament since this movie starts right where that movie ends. Yes. Yes. I was just going to say, I didn't need this shower scene with Ralph Machio, though. I don't know, Miyagi.

Maybe you shouldn't be hanging out there, dude, like right in the locker room. Oh, my God. What I love about this scene with Miyagi is he's, he's like, insistent they get to the restaurant already. Like Miyagi is hungry, his blood sugar is low. Hey, kid, we got to get going. I know you won the tournament and everything, but I'm fucking starving. I need some breadsticks. Yeah, he is, I mean, I do love, I love the, because there is, apparently, at least IMDB says this.

I always heard that this was footage, the original ending to the Karate Kid, but apparently it was in the script, never filmed, filmed specifically for part two. So, theoretically, this script is open a boy's shower. That's what we're talking about. But I mean, conversely, the film originally, the first one may have ended with a boy's shower. shower, closed, you know, roll credits. Like, I don't know. I think it's kind of great that the last thing I see in the Karate Kid is not Ralph Machio's nipples. Hey, hey, Mr. Miyagi, are you, are you right outside the shower like you always are? Oh, yeah, I'm leering here. Oh, oh, hey, great. Oh, good. Okay, I'm just going to shower myself. I hope can you talk to me while I shower? And a quick,

quick note for the audience. We are doing a Peter Falke impression from Mr. Miyagi, continuing the tradition from our live episode on Cryta Kid Part 1. Just an FYI. That's right. That's right. And I do love, because he's like, oh man, Mr. Yagi, I did pretty fucking good at that goddamn tournament over there. Can you believe it? What do you think my

next thing should be? And he's like, how about retiring, kid? Which makes all the sense of the world because Miyagi is a sick of it and B knows this kid is lucky to be alive. He's like, I don't know about you. I think you. I'm about you about you get your fucking teeth kicked in there, kid. Yeah, listen, kid.

I got something to tell you is I lied on signing the waivers. Had you died, I would have been really screwed. Yeah, to be honest, you lost me a lot of money today. Your mentor is not supposed to say this, you know, but you got lucky, buddy. You got lucky. Walk away. You were like one pub hair away from getting your fucking neck broke, kid. Did you see the other guy you were fighting?

You look like Chuck Norris would have to be it. I mean, like, you're lucky, your little shrimp, you beat him up. And did you see that crease fella? Did you see that crease fella? He looks like an erect penis all the time. By the way, that kick is fake. I made that up. I can't believe you did that in public.

I was a joke between me and my buddies. I'm like, look, I want to do a little shit king, and it worked. I can't believe it. At the same time, kid, I will say, because you were, you was stupid enough to actually do that move. you actually just won me another 200 bucks one of my buddies bet me $200 you wouldn't be stupid enough to do that fake kick but you were stupid enough to do it kid

another 200 bucks I will not give you a single cut of it and that is now a full on fracture I hope you know that kid that ankle isn't going nowhere Dude that is a crazy thing He's fucking running around He's like walking out of the parking lot He's carrying this trophy

He's signing autographs get this kid a cane or a crutch or something Yeah yeah I'll do that after he runs down Gets me a sports section it is uh because yeah he you know he's in the shower he's like yeah i can't believe oh my god the next thing is like how about retiring you know the girls are waiting for us elizabeth shu not in this film your mother not in this film are waiting for us at the restaurant so let's let's get a move he does he does have a little fucking fire at his foot to get to this fucking restaurant yeah no that's true and yeah the passing line here is because in real life elizabeth shue

went back to harvard and continued studying before she picked up acting so she was out of the movie. But poor Mrs. Laruso, man, not even a diehard with a vengeance-esque fucking phone call. This woman is just erased. That's a bet I would have lost, by the way. I would have thought that she does have that in this film, but she does not.

That's so funny, dude. Uh-oh, Mandela Effect. I had that same thought, Steve. I was like, well, when is it that she calls them in Japan? Like, I had to think a memory of, like, him, like, getting a phone call from mom. in Japan. I don't know. It is very weird the scenario that we're presented with. Again, I mean, we talked about the weird relationship between this sensei and student, but it is accentuated in

this where he's just living with Miyagi now. He's going to live with him for the summer. The parents are gone. We don't have to deal with that shitty kid anymore. This, I don't know what Miyagi's doing with him, but it's working, I guess. Well, the dad is dead. And the mom, weren't we saying something in in the first movie it kind of sounds like she's like being tricked into joining a cult like she's talking about whatever business things she's doing and it's like kind of pyramid schemy like culty and then in this movie it's like oh geez mr miagi my mom's got to go up to fresno for the summer for some workshop and I'm like she's really accelerating in that cult she has it has a synonon feeling for sure and I think that's what this Fresno trip is I

I think that's what the whole summer is going to be for Daniel. I think Daniel's going to be brought into it. Come on, Mr. Miyagi, I can't go to Fresno. I don't want to be on level fucking two already. Ah, geez. Ah, Mr. Miyagi, they're going to make me get there in Fresno. I'm going to have to put my hands on those two cans. And they're going to do that test where they're going to figure out how much electricity is in my body or whatever.

Oh, jeez, Mr. Miyagi, what they're going to make me do? I'm going to sit in a chair. They're just going to yell at me for five hours straight. I'm sick of being broken down, Mr. Mariani. We cannot miss the absolute disgrace and best scene of John Crease. It is, well, first of all, my favorite characters of this entire movie, they're walking out. Come on, we're going to get to the restaurant. They get intercepted by the referee and the announcer, and they're just like, kid, you've got whatever it is, you've got it.

You are the karate kid. And I do you love it. The referee says, you showed pole. The other guy who, there's the dude, I don't know if he's like the master of ceremonies or what, he looks like Biff Tannen, like, 1985, like beer gut Biff Tannen. Like they're talking shit about John Crease because they're like observing him being abusive in the parking lot to William Zabka. And he's like, that guy just doesn't know what karate is all about. One of the best lines in the movie. Listen, kids, you've got what I call star quality.

Now what I got? I got a low grade of digital video set up for you. I want you to be my star fucking callback. I'm going to make action, pictures, comedies, romantic situation. Hang on a second there, kid. Let me negotiate. I need 10%. That's my kid.

I trained him. I taught him everything he knows. No, no problem with that. Anyway, does he do kids fair as well? Because it click on, click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click. Because that's what I mean, like, yeah, I mean, these these like hangers i'm like it's one thing like he's like oh you know but he's like oh man you've got i can't wait to see your next performance like you guys you're in your 40s stop

caring about this little karate kid tournament you know it's always the hardest part of the year the day when it's the longest amount of time before the next all valley karate tournament man it's it's sad but at the same time you know they're the ones putting it on and Daniel here is getting the word out like this crazed illegal movie did is the word the word is on the street. The next all valley is going to be even better. I think I think this dude is like he's seeing dollar signs, man. He's like, this kid is going to transform the Southern California karate industry. Absolutely. Because that's the thing is the ref is going to go. I'll be like, listen, I let you go with that

illegal kick. So you've got to do a couple more tournaments. You got to do some appearances, open some laundromats for me. kind of a thing. You got to play the game with the karate industrial complex. I got three words for you, buddy. Poster photo shoots for you, Mr. Lou Rousseau. It must be. I, for whatever reason, decided to look up the referee. Pat E. Johnson. He's still with us. Born in Niagara

Falls. That's cool. But it says it says that he's in Karate Kid Part 3 as the referee. It has to be flashback footage again, right? No, I think he's back. back yeah karate bad boy mike barns yeah he's a part of the original trilogy dude oh yeah incredible it's all paying off here you see this is the third time i've seen this kid here and he's just walked the floor with everybody we're going to take this kid to the stars and by that i mean you know video on demand and pay-per-view hey holy shit how about this i looked up the guy who's

the announcer uh so the guy who he doesn't know what karate's all about this dude Bruce Malmuth passed away some 15 years ago at this point. Interesting little trivia factoid about this dude. He fucking directed Hard to Kill. Oh, wow.

The announcer from Karate Kid's All Valley Karate Tournament directed Steven Zagall in Hard to Kill. That's a renaissance man. It's good. It's one of his best movies. It absolutely. It might be his best movie. I don't know. But in that episode as well. So Creece, they're trying to get to their car, and Creece is yelling at a kid in the parking lot.

This is something, you know what I mean, like you do it the next day at the school. You want to cut him from the class or whatever. You do it right in the parking lot. He's like, you're off the team. You're a loser. And, you know, Johnny Williams Zabka, you know, he's humble. He's like, you know, I did my best. He's like, you're best.

And he breaks, he breaks his trophy in the parking lot. It's awesome. To pieces. He destroyed. this trophy. Where are William Zabka's parents? They would have to come. It's his big karate thing, right? Like they would come to this thing. I don't think.

I think he's got a troubled home life. I think they get into that in that cobra Kai show too. Okay. I mean, it must be like that's, he turns to the cobra Kai's like an outlet because he's got potentially, yeah, like a bad family life or something you're saying? Yes, I believe they

established that like crease is kind of his father figure in this whole scenario. Maybe that's a retcon, you know. And then he goes to karate, he finds this piece of shit. That's just, that's sad. Poor William Zabka, shit. Yeah. He's great, by the way. He's great on that show.

I can't wait to start watching it, dude. I love Zabka so much. I love that they got the gang back together because there's some other cobra kies floating around here who are from the first movie, including my absolute favorite cobra Kai, body bag kid. Oh, yeah, you better get a body bag. he's dead dude body bag is dead

so he got a body bag kid died in real life I believe he died pretty recently oh that's too bad well I'm not gonna make fun of him or anything I'm just saying like I mean I guess calling him body bag but I mean it's a popular line it's one of my favorite parts of that movie because he says it and then every time

they cut back to him he's so fucking pleased with that body bag line he's got a huge smile on his face but in this movie he's one of the guys who stands up for Johnny and he's like hey John Crease maybe you shouldn't fucking do this and he gets slapped in the face by Crease

I mean there's also this guy they bring it out like the audience is cheering there's all this noise going on and from you can hear it they bring it to the four some guy saying hey Johnny you a cream puff oh yes that's right and it's like blaring off the speakers when it happens that is yeah that's from the first movie

somewhere some 40 year old guy is drunk and homophobically screaming at a karate tournament awesome hey dude it would not be the all valley if it were not filled with drunken slurs being thrown from the crowd

and um some yagi's got to be like hey what are you doing what do you do you know what I mean like somebody here I'm just I'm just gonna say this you broke that one trophy on that kid and then you just definitely slapped the

the kid in the face. Not cool, man. Now you're making my dinner cold. You're choking a kid in a parking lot. Listen, I'm just, let's all just, let's all just take a breath and stop choking kids in pocket lots. And I get it. And you probably had a very stressful few days. I understand. I understand it. It's a big day for you today, but maybe you just put your arm off of the child, off of the child. You think I haven't wanted to strangle some kids. Come on. Come on. I know how you feel. Come on here. Have you heard this kid talk? Have you heard him talk? Look at him.

Just look at him. He's way over there. You see him? Look how fucking annoying he looks. Don't you want to strangle him right now? I want to strangle him right now. That little booger right there. Yeah, he's picking his nose.

Like a broken boat motor. That's what I'm hanging out with all day long. Just yammering on. But the problem is, see, we're in public. See, we're in a parking lot. There's a lot of people around. Go beat the shit out of them at home. That's a five to ten.

Easy. Easy. Easy. But he does get involved, of course, because he's Mr. Miyagi and he's the fucking hero of this franchise. And he goes up and he's like, hey, man, maybe you don't do that. And fucking crease is right in with the slurs. Beat it, slur or you're next. And man, if there was ever a test of Mr. Miyagi trying to, you know, use his powers for good over evil.

You can just, the look that Pat Marita is giving this motherfucker is incredibly staring right through his skull. uh and then this is like he's like what do you try what does it does he do it why did you pick on somebody your own size or no or how does he start to punch him is my question well because john crease is an unhinged lunatic i think it's just like he's i think it's really just him saying like maybe you shouldn't be hitting kids like whatever it is and then like crease just turns around it's like oh it's you again and goes for this first one and miagi does a great like just move out of way and crease punching through these car windows

that's insane what now I guess that's the he's such a strong guy it's not that he's on PCP but to be able to go through car windows is pretty amazing well I think he might be on PCP dude because he doesn't seem to be truly affected by the pain of the glass that's

sticking out of his fist he's been in a fugue state ever since you lost that fucking trophy and that's the sad truth of it he is just like not even hearing things properly he's seeing colors man it's a few state man it's a total fugue state yeah that's what he's gonna tell the judge cap you're right i mean like because again this i'm you know i'm not a big fan of jail or carcional punishment at all but like guess what this dude

needs this cool a couple of cool a couple of days in the in the clink because you cannot be choking other people's children i love that i love that you preface that with uh yeah i'm not a fan of jail The early work is good. Listen, why don't we just relax? Why don't we just relax and call the police? How about we do that? Okay? And take your arm off the child.

But yeah, he goes through both windows and then Miyagi gets him down and he looks like he's about to break, push his nose into his brain, which will kill him. Oh, sure. That he honks it. And it's a wonderful moment.

It's fucking great, dude. It is wonderful. But, I mean, it is so much worse for crease Oh yeah for sure Forever like he much so much would rather die right here I feel

Oh yeah He was just He was bested by a fucking tiny elderly man Of course he's pissed off Even further Also humiliating Dying in the 80s In a karate fight is like

The Pinnacle man Because then people could talk Oh what happened to grandpa Oh he died in a karate fight You know you're gonna be a topic of conversation forever I mean you would have to leave You would have to leave town immediately. If I'm William Crease, I'm like going across the country.

Like, how about New Jersey? That sounds like a nice William Crease number two state. Oh, I can tell you all sorts of stuff about New Jersey. What do we want to know about him? Mr. Crease? I love talking Jersey. I love it. It would be great if you went to New Jersey and everyone hated Laruso as much as he did.

And I was like, oh, you met LaRuso? I can't believe it, bro. Oh, my God. I found my people. all the La Rousseau haters are here. Yes. Oh, that'd be great, dude. Then John Crease becomes like mayor of some town in Jersey. I would love that.

We've got one rule. No Laruso's. He finally chills out. This is what does it. It's finding other people that hate fucking Daniel Laruso is what he does. He chills out, Chris. But then when Laruso comes to town in a giant karate tournament, he's traveling the circuit now. Him as mayor has to use the resources of the government.

government to stop these. This is an excellent movie. I mean, I know people like... It is. I know people like Cobra Kai and I'm sure it's wonderful. This is better. This is better, dude, because it would be like Crease trying to call in the National Guard

against Daniel LaRousseau. I don't fucking love it. I own the karate. Creece, I don't know what to tell you. I'm just judging the competition. No, you're in competition. I know it. No, I'm just judging.

just judge it yeah yeah kill him kill him that's what i said kill le russo i think also part of it too with the the rage that crease is feeling here you know you're humiliated because like this dude made you punch through two car windows and then brought you to your knees fairly easily but the fucking honk man that honk is humiliating well i think the honk is what sets into the events of karate kid part three i think nothing else would have happened if you know he just you know hey man it was my fault. I punch you the windows. I'm going to have to pay for him. I got to go to the hospital. But he honked my nose. So now Karate Kid

Part 3 has to happen. But you know what's going to happen. It's like people, he's just walking down the street drinking like his like smoothie one day. And some guy comes by honking his horn. He's like, just like your nose, right? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Oh, man. You're having a good day there, Greece? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! And like, that is the entire town for the next, for the rest of your life. Yeah, it's a clown kai karate now for John Cruz. I mean, you got to leave the valley, dude. You just do.

You got a fucking close-up shop. You cannot stay in Southern California. Yeah, you got to go to NorCal at least. You're in San Francisco, go to Petaluna, something, you know, somewhere else. Miyagi has a good line, though, because Lu Russo is like, hey, Mr. Miyagi, why don't you fucking take his life right in front of all of our eyes? and Miyagi says something about like a person living with hate in their heart is a punishment worse than death or something like that

like there are some fucking stellar lines that Mr. Miyagi has in this movie and that's kind of one of them and that it sets off we get six months later and it cut back to Mr. Miyagi sitting at his house he's still trying to catch that fly with the chopsticks love it. Here's my question

is this the same headband are we trading because he's wearing the the headband, which he gives to Daniel in the first movie, or did you have a drawer full of these things? Yeah, I told him it was a special one, but I really got a draw full of it. Yeah, I think it's March Simpson's dress.

Exactly. Yeah, like, but he definitely was like, oh yeah, Daniel's son, don't worry about it, dude, it's like this rare thing, it's very special to me. And then, like, as soon as Daniel left that night, Miyagi, like, ran to his bedroom and opened a drawer and put another one. Like, oh, I felt naked

without this. Yeah. I think that's just like he uses that as underwear, as washcloths. For sure. So, Daniel Leruso drives up in this broken down like buggy. And like he apparently Elizabeth Shoe broke up with him like at a dance. At the prom, dude.

Cold blooded. Not only that at the prom and she got with a UCLA football player who she's now in love with. And that's like, oh, you know, you. think karate's on top of the world but it's really football this is like the ultimate humiliation like john crease thought he had it bad but this is he gets dumped at the prom because elizabeth shoe is dating a college guy and then also uh it's not just some junked up car cabin fucking le russo says that she crashed the car also this is interesting and the car was given to him by Miyagi in the first movie and it's cherished item or whatever.

One of his Jay Leno cars. This theory that he proposes of like, oh, yeah, she crashed the car and have messed up the engine and this, like, part of the fender and the headlight or whatever. I'm thinking he actually killed her. Oh, interesting. Ooh, nice, dude. Hey, Danielson. Yeah, that's all very plausible, except for one thing, fella. Looking at that bumper there.

Is that blood? I think I see some blood I'll run her down I hit a deer But this is why he wants to get out of the country immediately You're right Dude Daniel son what's with all these shovels and soil

Seems little statistician Here's the thing This whole Elizabeth's shoe thing Is a real Fuck you on your way out of the franchise situation Like she clearly said I didn't want to do it I think she went back to college Actually back to Harvard

instead of doing this movie or whatever. And I think it's the screener. I was like, all right, you know, I want to do the movie. So here she comes. She, uh, she lost all her teeth. Shit, shit her pants at the prom. She's on Daniel and, uh, you know, like whatever else. I like this. And then after all that went out and crashed his car on purpose, just to fuck him over.

Maybe he was trying to end it all, dude. Maybe he fucking drove that off a cliff. He was that upset over losing Elizabeth's shoe to a fucking. college guy. I would be. Or maybe she got pissed off because he was like, he was like, yeah, it's, it's the prom, but it's like costume prom. And then like she came to the prom wearing that fucking shower costume that he had. Oh, look, she was humiliated. Look, Daniel, Sean, we got to get you out of the country. You can't, that, that is the most terrible story I ever heard. Here's the question, though. Here's the real question. Was it a we had the prom and

then she broke up with him or was it a hey daniel uh so i got to tell you about gary and by the way i'm still cool to go to the pro one of those things yeah but just let you know you know come september i'm gonna be hanging out with this dude a lot more i think i'm going from maximum heartbreak i'm thinking like endless love comes on and like he goes like you know what this song makes me think about you a lot and then she drops it right there UCLA fella and me have been banging day and night

love him to death, goodbye sir. Oh man. So he also lets, because this is a whole monologue Ralph Machio monologue. Jeez, Mr. Miyagi, he can't even believe what happened to the problem. I have Mr. Miyagi. Oh my God. Jesus too, he does

this whole thing. And then, like, he's also like, and I can't believe my mom's going to Fresno and this, that, the other thing. And he's like, Hey, Daniel, why don't I show you this new trick? It's called fucking making me a shed. You know what I mean? We're back at the do my fucking dishes, dojo. I love it.

Because he's like, oh, yeah. Oh, you're really stressed right now, huh? How about you do the Zen art of fucking hammering nails, motherfucker? Why don't you build me another fucking house, huh? Yeah, dude, the fucking ancient karate tradition of put a fucking addition on my house. Yeah, maybe the Amish war. maybe the Amish were onto something maybe you worked shit out by building a goddamn house

yes oh Amish karate yes please this is a movie this is a movie Amish karate what is the situation in Amish karate is it an Amish guy that finds a new lust for life at a karate dojo or is it like a karate master pulls a like Nicholas Cage and Conner accidentally murders someone in a parking lot

with karate and then he has to go be an Amish guy. Like a witness protection thing. Something like that. Like witness. Kind of, yeah, witness for sure. The good movie, by the way. Oh, yeah. Let's say an Amish kid goes on Rumsh, Springer, to Japan,

and then comes back with this forbidden karate knowledge. And then suddenly that barns a dojo, oh, the old men, old beardy, doesn't like it? Well, now he's tap dancing on his face, and they overthrow. Amish society in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. I like it. And it becomes a karate farm.

Ooh, the eight diagram barn builder. That, oh, dude, the dude tries the ice cream in his face. Some like fucking Lancaster loudmouth. Uh-huh. Not with this dude. He's going to kick him through a barn, man. And a lot of exposed bones, like that kind of karate. Like snap and femurs and shit.

I like that. So he's in the midst of all this, like, but he's, you know, he, he, uh, Miyagi teaches him how to, how to hammer and nails. And like, it does calm him down. And he's like, he does a good job. And he's like, I can't believe I had to spend the summer in Fresno. And Miyagi's like, no, you idiot. I'm making you build me a guest house. So you can stay there the entire summer. I also talk to your mom. What, what is going on? For real. Like, now you're living with him. You guys are inseparable. First things first, dude. That was the senior prom. We're talking 18 plus on fucking, uh, on, uh,

on Daniel's son. So everything's on the table. All right, that's fine. All right. I don't think Miyagi's making a move, man. I think he's just lonely. Yeah. He seems very,

he seems comfortable in his solitude as well. The problem is, see, Mr. Miyagi is a genuinely sweet, caring soul. Sure. And we're awful people. Yeah, there's that.

Yeah, you know. I think it's very simple. He sees like, look, Daniel, son, I saw your mother, she's giving away all your possessions, to whatever that Fresno company is. And she's going to live in some hut out there.

I don't know what's going on out there, but I think you should stay here. That's a good point. It's a total safety net. Yeah, come on. And in the clumsiest bit of writing, the movie really starts when a mailman delivers a letter and this kind of stinks.

If there's a Miyagi standing here at this time, at this place, are you, Mr. Miyagi? someone from 1890s writing you a letter Andy Griffin's song starts playing which 1890s when his dad should have actually died too

this is crazy dude this guy should be 200 years old is my question he has you get the letter that his dad is sick for Okinawa this mailman by the way goes on you know I guess I don't know if this is like ad-lib or we're just trying to make something happen in this

scene the guy's like wow you got a great house it's amazing house you got here I was like, oh, thank you so much. But he's already like, you know, kind of devastated by this letter. And he's like, what if I bring my wife here one time to take a look at your house? I'm like, what are you talking about? Well, and the problem is the guy starts it with a total backhanded compliment, too, because he's like, wow, it looks so good back here.

You definitely can't tell from the front of the house. Wow, what a fucking dump. Yeah, you know, every Saturday night, I take my wife out to look at Japanese people and how they live. Hey, look, honey, look, it's a real Japanese. going to eat. Oh, wow, is he eating food? Oh, wow. That's a shade. That's incredible, honey. I don't know if it's the people so much. It's the garden, but maybe. I know. I'm just saying it's a bit weird.

This dude does have one of the greatest fucking pieces of mailman accoutoutrema of all time. I don't know who decided this, but the mailman standard issue, it's hot out safari hat. Yeah, that's a real thing. Yeah. I know it's a real thing, but why? It's just weird. It's a weird thing that male carriers wear those sometimes. Well, you know, it's an offshoot of the government. You know, the governments love their little uniforms. Yeah, I guess that's true. Oh, you're wondering about my hat? You're wondering about my hat. Yeah, it's just, I'm sorry. Yeah, my hat is fine. It's just to protect me from, in case there's a fallen coconut.

You know, me and my wife could come by later with the hat, and we could talk about. about it. I mean, the other question here, too, is, like, is Miyagi's mailbox broken? What the hell is this guy doing traipsing through the backyard in the first place? That's a great question. Maybe it's certified and he has to get a... Oh, is there a signature situation?

But even still, do you not ask if you can come by my house to look at it, you weird ass fucking creep? And what's worse, though, dude, is this guy doesn't take their awkward silence for no. Yes. And he's like, because, like, Miyagi, he clearly sees that it's from Okinaw. and he's like oh fuck you know and starts walking away totally ignoring this guy totally fine move and the loruso's kind of hanging back and the guy says that thing about like maybe we can come by and dead silence and the guy goes well uh maybe another time then

like just leave don't sit don't try to leave the door open for a maybe another time response let me ask you something do you sell any photos or postcards of your house or your backyard Because my wife would absolutely love this. You sell any photos of your students at all? What time does he do the real karate? You know what I mean? Because we'll come by then. But, you know, Miyagi's, I think, his intention here is like

doing the hard labor of putting up this wall will get his mind off of things, you know? Sure. It's not necessarily karate. Is he supposed to be sleeping out there, though? I don't think immediately. I think he curls up. But the foot of Miyagi's bed until the house, the old guest house is done.

Well, also, is... He's kicking his leg while he sleeps. But is Mr. Miyagi, like, telling him, like, how to build the house? Or is he just like, yeah, just start nailing things. Just start nailing things. Okay. Yeah, it's California. We don't need insulation or anything, so it's fine.

One thing that also happens in this very busy scene is, uh, Machio's like, oh, geez, Mr. Biagi, I actually, uh, I made a special stuff. for your medals. It's going to be great. You could display him. And he's like, could you stop playing with my Medal of Honor, please? Could you? Is it possible for you to stop playing with it? You know, because it's a thing where he's like, you know, it is fucking really hard for me to talk about all that and think about all that, dude. Maybe I don't want to display that to every fucking mailman that walks through my house. Yeah, he's got a decent line there when he's like, Yeah, no, no, no, no, right here in the heart.

Yeah, the heart, kid, that's what says, you're brave. This, this, but for my time and the service, that just says, I'm lucky. Yeah, these are just a little, couple of little trinkets. It's all about what's in your heart. You don't need no trinkets, kid. Yeah, and why didn't you, you frame my ear necklace? Oh, man. Hey, were we taking those in World War II also?

We were taking them everywhere, dude. We are, we are an atrocity maker. Hey kid, quick question Since we're having fun display things You got your father's ashes anywhere? Yeah, I'll go robbers around your closet Find your most painful and personal things And put them out on display

That's what we do I guess What's that? Oh, I'm sorry Having a look at your father's ashes every day Would break your heart repeatedly Oh, got it, okay Wake up, Daniel Can I smell your ass

Your dad father's asses? Could I smell them? Could I get to me my nostrils a little bit? So he's like Smelling those metals? A little, I mean, like, he gets him close to his face. So basically, Miyagi, you don't have your glasses on. You know, I got one bad eye.

Oh, man. Miyagi's like, I'm going to go to Japan. I got to take care of this. My father's sick. I guess I can't have you for the summer, you know, blah, blah, blah. And I think he's supposed to see him off in the morning, but Daniel's not there. He's kind of disappointed. The cab driver is like, we're going to be late.

And I'm like, all right, dude, relax. But so they go to the airport. like you're cutting it close buddy or something like that they get he gets the airport and ralph macho accosts this man at a fucking terminal at the airport like at the plane at the fucking plane at the gate dude he's like can i can i come to japan my mom said it was okay and it's like now you're putting me in a real fucking spot you a you already bought the ticket which you definitely should not have done there's this word there's a word for this miagi it's called ambush you spent your college tuition to come come with me to uh see my dying father

it's just such a fucking weird thing it is such a i mean it's very weird i mean he's trying to he's trying to pay it back right he's like mr miagi you've always been there for me now like your dad's dying and you know i want to be there for you because he also miagi gives him the whole backstory of how he you know a lot of people see it is like he fled okinawa and in disgrace and he tells him all about like the fucking you know he was in love but then she had an arranged marriage with his best buddy Sato

and it's like a whole douche chill situation so like he's trying to be there for him but at the same time it's like when you have that information of like how awkward it is going to be for this man to return home to this town like why would you want to see that? I would not be

able to look at any of that dude it's way too uncomfortable. Daniel Sanchez go back and nail the house okay that's all you gotta do just keep on nailing the house and also like you know it's not like oh man can i mr miagi can i please come with you i just want to be there as an emotional support you won't know i'm there until you need me and i'll be there to talk to you and get you through this really tough times like oh man i never been to japan oh wow that's a lot of rice we're eating over here holy crap you got thinking shoes off in the place oh my gosh wow the water's over there

it would it would never stop and it's like no we're not we're not we're not having to having a play date in Japan, my father is sick. I got a major vibe that Miyagi really didn't want him to come. Absolutely. I think you're right. What about this? What about that? He tries, you're totally right, Eric, he tries every

which way to convince this kid not to go. And the thing that's, like, it doesn't work about Daniel running up at the airplane like this, like on the fucking jetway, like at the door of the airplane, like we're beyond the gate at this point. Like, it doesn't make sense because in the

previous scene, you see Daniel, like, get the idea in his head, right? Because he's like, all right, Mr. Miyagi, I totally understand. You know, you got to go see your father. I totally get it. I totally get it, Mr. Miyagi. I get it. I get it. I'm going to go to Fresno. My mom's in a cult, whatever. And then he stops. Like, he says goodbye to him. And then he stops. They have Ralph Macho turn around and literally walk back into the house. And then it cuts to the next morning with Mr. Miyagi in the driveway. That is the moment, Laruso. That's the moment to be like, hey, Mr. Miyagi, I just came up with this idea. How about we go together? I'll be there for you. Not this ambush, because it is an ambush, man. And it's so, so uncomfortable.

But he knows. I mean, like, he knows Mr. Miyagi's going to see us, because Mr. Biagi is a good person. I mean, it's good, if it's between this idiot coming with him to go see his dying father and going and brushing Lancaster Dodd's teeth for a summer, like, he's going to take him to fucking Japan. He's going to do it. and they go and immediately on the plane Miyagi is just like I just want to get some sleep A I've got some grief depression Bruin B I didn't get good sleep last night because I got drunk and C could you shut the fuck up please

Here's a couple you're right A couple things about this first of all Daniel with this last minute ticket purchase I need I need you John Aveltsendl You should have done this dude I'm telling you this now From Beyond the grave you need that two second thing of Daniel going up to

whomever was slated to sit next to Mr. Miyagi and going hey I was like a last minute decided to come on this trip with my friend here do you mind if we switch seats because there's no way he just has this seat next to Miyagi. Well you know what Jerry Weintraub produced this movie he loves being

in his movies he should have just been this guy oh that's fun yeah he loved doing that shit you should have done it It's just, it's one of those dumb things where it's like, yeah, you want to show them on the plane together. But like, no fucking way. He just scored the seat next to Miyagi like that. No way. And let this man take a nap.

The only thing I could think of is like, maybe there aren't many people going to Okinawa or something. But yeah, I don't know what this. I don't know what the path is. I would, I would assume maybe they would have to, you know, get a second flight in Tokyo or something. I don't know if we have direct ones unless you're in the military. I will, I will say, I don't. I don't care how much patience Mr. Miyagi has, this nighttime scene where he keeps on asking about where my village is, you would have to go into the bathroom and strangle him to death and leave him there and hope that they think it's a James Bond type thing and the kid just had to die. That's like how I'd have to, like, because I could not stand this.

Can you explain, hang on a second, can you explain to me when it is in those 20-some-odd motion pictures that James Bond is just going around murdering children? No, that's, it's the stinger scene on Quantum of Sauce. Everybody left the theater because it was terrible. Oh, I see. Yes. I'm sorry. Yeah, I ruined it for people. I'm sorry, everybody.

Chris, you're reminded me of Commando when he just snaps that dude's neck. And he's like, oh, no, he's dead tired. Oh, yes, my karate student is dead tired. Yeah. And then on this, and he's like, let me, please let me sleep. Please let me sleep. Okay. One more question, Ms. Miyagi.

How do you know if there's no points in the fight? How do you know who wins and loses? And he's like, whoever's dead, whoever's dead, that guy lost. Because this is it. This, by the way, welcome to Karate Kid Part 2, the Blood Feud. And it rules. Absolutely. Dude, we fucking fight to the death.

We are playing four fucking keeps. It's awesome. I fucking love it. I love, and I love that line, right? Because he says, I think it's a thing where he goes, oh, you know what it is? He goes, because the other thing is, so Sato. learn karate from Mr. Miyagi's father and LaRuso

is like, oh, well, I thought you told me that, you know, the Miyagi karate tradition stayed inside the family and he says that you know, the father, he asked the dad to make the exception for Sato because they're such good buddies. So he's like, hey, Mr. Miyagi, you think, uh, you

think, uh, uh, your dad's going to like referee, you fight to the death or what? And he goes, no, there's no referee is what it is. And he's like, well, then how do you know who wins? and he goes, the one who's dead doesn't. Ooh, shit, dude, chills down your spine.

Look, Daniel, son, I'm not going to mince word. He's an ungrateful son of a bitch. This Sato just an ungrateful piece of shit. I did everything for him, honestly. And yeah, his girl fell in love with me. Piece of shit. I got him every, I got him exactly where he is. And this piece of shit, you know what?

I'm trying to sleep and you bring all this up. And then I go back to sleep. I'm going back to sleep now. It is kind of interesting that that Sato, not only learned karate from the same person, but then also opened a seemingly cobra kai-esque dojo.

And I'm like, is that why Miyagi always hated organized karate? Oh, because, yeah, that's Sato shit, he says. Maybe, yeah. They're doing that Sato shit. That's that Sato brand karate spits on the floor.

Well, because when you look at it, right? Because Daniel takes a stroll by the Sato karate studio later in the film and you know who's inside there? Just a bunch of fucking white guys that could have been a Cobra Kai. I think Sato's like recruiting these dudes from all over Japan like, hey

white guy karate obsessed people. Come here to my dojo. I think it's because there's a lot of GIs in Okinawa there's a military base. Oh, that's right. Yeah, they do encounter some of the GIs and the exquisite fucking bar scene. They also see a Sato advertisement where he's

breaking a log in half at the airport. Yes. And right. And right above that it says Sato escort services. You could all see I will say it is brilliant. Putting the military base there is a brilliant way to make sure you can put a lot of white actors

in your movie set in Japan. Absolutely. It's a very smart way. I think it's very smart. The military base was actually there in real life anyway. Is it a real life? Yes. Okay. I take that, dude. I don't know fucking, I'm sorry. I don't know the geography or the

military bases in fucking Japan. I name you're showing a lot of what you don't know dude yeah it matters a lot no by the way i know that because this is going to sound weird and i wish i still kept up with him so that i could fact check this movie but my first roommate in new york city was okanowen so i yeah so i know a little bit of not not not not ralph macho levels of content but i know vagaries about okinawa dude just from that sentence alone i guarantee you you know more about okinawa than ralph machio has ever fucking known i get you forgotten more about Okinawa than Ralph Bacchia's ever known.

Like the actor. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Definitely. I will say, so there's a great line with when when we walk past it, it's uh, Sato is breaking this log and he's wow, Mr. Miyagi, oh, geez, you think you can break a log like that? And it's a fucking, it's

an awesome like Sato brand karate dig. He's like, huh, I don't know. Never been attacked by a tree. It's like, yeah. Fuck you, dude. So good. It's so awesome. Yeah, I was, I was also. gunning to point out that line too. No, but I have to say

it's great because like the first film in this franchise is obviously the one that the zeitgeist really latched on to the most and like a lot of you know knowledge of people who like maybe aren't like

super familiar with the movies or anything. You still know shit that like Mr. Miyagi was talking about in the first movie. But this script really gives him some fucking heaters. including that one. He's got some great lines in this movie. Well, because he was nominated for an Oscar for that first one.

And this one, you know, not so much, obviously. But, you know, that's, you want to. He should have been. He totally should have been. No, I'm serious. I think the dramatic acting that he does in this movie is not better than, but there's just more of it in this movie. Like, he has the one scene where he's drunk with the wife and everything in the

first movie. Totally get it. He was deserving of that nomination. But he's doing the same thing here. And I think he's getting to do a better, bigger job with it. I will say it's a bomb. it's more of his movie at least for like the first hour like this is a mr miagi movie i think almost you're right like almost entirely up into about 80 minutes in it starts becoming more about

laruso and that's when it really goes off the fucking rails but like uh yeah for the first like 80 minutes it is his movie yeah i mean he does do a good job he's got emotional moments it's but at the same time it's crazy to see an old man grieve over his father but i mean it makes sense it makes sense and he does a good job with it, but it's also very interesting that one scene where Laruso is like helping Miyagi through the death of his father, because he already

experienced it, and it's not often you see a baby talk to an old man like that. Since we're talking about it, that is the best acting Ralph Macho does this entire series where he's just like, and he's quite, and it's exactly kind of quiet, he's like, you know, when my dad died, you know,

I felt really bad and I thought I wasn't there for him enough and this, and the other thing that I realized I was there from just enough because I was there I got to say goodbye blah blah blah it's really really nice and and miagi doesn't even say anything in that scene he's just totally crying it's it rules it's it totally like watching it this time through it like took me by surprise I was like yes whoa like he's real and and I think it's a credit to aviltsin here just being able to direct actors very well because it's like you could totally see machio just doing that in a pepier kind of daniel laruso way and he's almost like not even

Daniel LaRuso at that moment. He's just like a totally different guy and you need him to be a totally different guy in that scene because the happy go lucky, aloof, annoying kid would not be able to give this guy comfort in that way but he is actually successful with it. But first

the blood feud. Because we're walking out of the airport and they're confronted by this guy who we learn later is chosen who's Saito's nephew is like, hey, my uncle sent you a car. I'm his nephew. We're going to, we'll drive you right to your

village. It's going to be great. It's like, oh, this is really nice. And look, they're very excited. And you know, you can tell something's a little off. They take them, they take them to like this construction site. I thought they were going to fucking just get murdered right here. Like, two in the head each and just bury. I would have been screaming. If I was, if I was, if I was LaRuso specifically, like my first time out of the country probably, right? Like, I'm just with this dude who like, yeah, we're close, but I kindly only met him like when school started last year.

You know what I mean? And like, it's like, oh great, now I'm just on some wharf and I'm about to be murdered by Japanese gangsters. This is great. Deserves it. Deserves it. What could I say? Aviltsin had final cut. That's how the movie has to end. I don't know what to tell you. Dude, just like,

it's the two of them getting beaten to death in a cornfield. Daniel son. Oh, Daniel son. Right. It's like casino with Paschee. Exactly. They stripped them with their clothes, beat it with a little bit of baseball bats. It takes it 20 minutes. It's amazing.

Yeah, let's see your karate now. Go to Black, directed, produced by John Alvildson. That's how you get your Oscar, dude. It would be one of the greatest short films ever made. No doubt about it. Saito introduces himself

here. By the way, because we're not doing voices here, we're doing tonight, Saito will be played by Alan Alda. Oh, he's like, ah, geez, welcome back to Okinawa, Mr. Biaghi, you left last time, kind of like a coward and disgrace,

but you're going to give you, you know, well, you know, you can go meet your dad. I'll let you go do that. But after that, you and I were going to have to, you know, go after it. He's giving me the business again. The business indeed, dude.

Um, the dude who plays Sato is, uh, Danny Kamakona, uh, also rest in peace. He was in a bunch of stuff, but I was noticing kind of funny. I don't know what there, if any, who knows? Like, probably not. Maybe it's just a coincidence. But this dude is also in collision course with Pat Marita. Interesting. They might have been buds. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. But it's just, it's very funny. I am. He's also in this other much, much shittier Pat Marita movie. I am fearful. I am fearful. to find out what his role in Problem Child is. Yeah. I know that can't be good. Whatever it is, it can't be good. The plight of a Japanese actor in the 1980s is just you can't even, you can't even bad a minute. Let's just put it this way, guys. I don't remember Problem Child, the first one all that well, but, you know, his character's last name is Hirohito. That's not a good sign. He is playing Mr. Hirohito. It could just be a coincidence, but it could be that 1990 comedy making a really bad joke there.

That second problem child movie is like nothing but trouble level disgusting. Like, I've never seen anything quite like it. That's the one where they're pukin at the restaurant, right? There's pukin and they're shitting and they're fucking, it's insane. Wait, wait, they're fucking the puking the shit. There's puking and shitting and fucking Eric and it's insane. At the same time? At the same time.

Isn't it also that second movie, is it the second movie where Gilbert gets like run over by that huge rolling ball or whatever? Yes, I think so. Yeah, that sounds familiar. It's been a really long time since I've revisited either of those

trash fucking movies. So basically it's like, listen, you know, A, you welcome back to Okinawa, the blood, the blood feud. It's a, yeah, I'm just like you know the blood feud is still going. The meter's been running at the blood feud for, uh, some time out.

Turns out there's actually there's now interest on the blood field, funny enough. So we're going to have to calculate that. But I think what's going to happen is not only will you be murdered, but we're going to have to grind up your bones into powder and then piss on it.

And remember, you can't tell me nothing. You're a fucking coward. Al and all they're calling people a coward. I want this. Did you teach your little white protege here cowardice as well, is my question? I see I see this Danielson and I want to fucking vomit

So basically they drive off and leave them to like kind of hitch a ride back to town And Daniel's got a lot of questions, doesn't he? Doesn't he just have a lot of questions everybody? Well, he's a little curious cat, dude But he's asking him all about like the village and everything. Yes. And this whole thing about like, well, it's the same shit that he was harping about on the plane. He was like, Mr. Miyagi, I don't even know.

I mean, I'm looking at this map, and it just says where your town's supposed to be is a military base. Well, the funny thing is they go to the military base, and they ask for the town, and the guy's like, I don't know where that is. And then somebody else is like, no, the town. And he's like, oh, yeah, it's exactly behind us. And I'm like, what? It's this incredibly weird. I don't know if they're like trying to shine something onto these guys or what. But I'm like, no, it's the town.

It's right behind you. Yeah, it's the town that we, like, decimated much. most of to fucking build this god damn imperialist american military base and then like the fucking five houses that were lucky enough to not be destroyed is what is all that is left of mr miagi's home village it is fucking disgusting well they also say because it looks like it looks like it's like it's like 1940 like just and uh even dan says like wow meagi cheese like the glad time forgot and there's something it's like something something saito wants it this way question mark i don't know they mention it's

that he owns the town like he owns everything it's very bizarre yeah and i think if anything it's more of like a like sato owns this but he kind of doesn't give a shit to like update it really as long as these

townspeople keep like tilling the soil and shit which he also just owns and like Miyaki says something about like they you know the towns people pay him rent and everything like they don't own any of that property and like whatever vegetables that they grow get outsource Cassato

I mean he's a real fucking businessman dude he's got a finger and a lot of pies here and one of the he's like a vegetable peddler well the vegetable thing is very weird and interesting because the village is also being scammed the nephew when they do the they're like measuring it out

with the with the weights and Daniel's first of all Daniel what the fuck are you doing messing with this like they've got a fucking they've got a grift in game you don't fuck with it in game that's the thing man no less than like a few hours

before that is it the same day or is it maybe the next day when Daniel's walking around like this dude drove you to the fucking pier and really could have murdered you man and now you're blowing up his crooked vegetable scam like come on he cracks the

weight in half and then all the town people are you know obviously angry because they're getting ripped off on their carrots and shit one of the look on chosen's face right there is like both the actors who play chosen and sato have exquisite i wish i was killing you right now faces that they make yes yes by the way this white asshole is walking around with this headband and i'm like if you're miagi you're like listen that's that's that's not what we're doing here kid you know it's it's fun and it's fun around my house blah blah blah you will be killed in the street for wearing that i'm i'm i'm i'm i'm I'm not kidding. Here you go, here's a L.A. Dodge's hat to keep your hat to keep your hat. Yeah, that is exactly right.

He's just dragged through the streets by the entire town and beaten like Omar Gaddafi. Oh, my God. Yep. Kid, you don't even know what that, you don't even know what that symbol means, and someone's going to ask you, and you're going to get it wrong. Listen, kid, there's absolutely no way you're going to pronounce this correct. okay take the headband off right look he's a Metscap I can promise you that you will survive

whatever happens but it's not going the rest of your life is not going to be as pleasant as if you had just taken the headband off yeah you take you take the headband off I take your teeth out now let me tell you about my drunk fisherman father okay that is great they go up

and he sees his old love. It's a very sort of touching scene. I don't know at what point. Was it like in a letter that he wrote back? It's like, hey, thanks for letting me know I'm on my way. Can you do me a huge favor? Could the entire town speak English the entire time? Can I speak?

When I'm speaking to my dying father, I'm going to talk to him in English because, I don't know. Start the lessons out. It's a tough thing. yeah you give me the uh you give me that book on tape and uh i'm gonna listen to some some lessons i'm gonna be i'm gonna be like the duolingo owl for my dying father yeah i mean so it is weird but you know you kind of just got to do it for the movie i guess it is i mean i know it's a movie it's fine but it is it's pretty silly that they're all speaking english and

it's also pretty silly that daniel l russo is leering into the door way watching the final exchanges between Miyagi and Miyagi senior yeah man why don't you just go way back at the other house dude yeah like you know or like dying i could yeah like karate maybe in 35 minutes is that fucking okay see he should have done the stop off dude like as they're walking to where the father is you know laying down he should have been like all right daniel look here's the Miyagi family dojo. You just kind of look around in here, maybe practice some karate or something.

I have to go tend to my dying father who you've never met and you have no stake in this whatsoever so please don't peer through the door where I'm giving my final goodbyes to this man. Here's the problem because you do that and then it's like oh my son, the one thing I need to do. Mr. Miyagi, I hear myself

for the numbschuk. I need you to understand about our family. But oh man, on my eyes bleed over here. Oh, I tore my scrote. Oh, geez, Mr.

Miyagi, my rope's on fire. I don't know how, but it just started on fire. I know that you think you're a coward. Oh, gosh, Mr. Miyagi,

I got the things, I got your signs wet. I'll miss Miyagi, do your hand rub thing on my scrote. Fix it. Oh, shit.

Oh, and oh, and look, now he's dead. I was distracted because my idiot protege lit himself on fire and threw himself into the bay. And I turned around and missed it. The father's last words are, what is scrote? He passes away. That's great. That's right. My father's final words, what is scrote?

What is scrote? That's fantastic. Thank you, Daniel. Thank you, Daniel. This is Miyagi. I tore my fucking tape with muncho. Of course you do. Of course you did. That's great to hear.

I'm going to abandon my dead father right now and go and deal with your sprained taint. I bet that's a real crazy, by the way. Yeah, it's true. We're compressed a lot, but it doesn't matter. It's fine. Sure. But very, very touching,

we are conflating the two times that we see this dead. The first time he doesn't eat shit, the second time he does eat shit. But the first time, he has, he says, a line and it's like whispered or something like that, I think to Yuki. And

he's like, oh, the fuck did that old bastard say? And he says, he says that, or she says to him, what he said was, if I am, like, upon seeing his son return to the village. If I am dreaming, let me

never awake. If I am awake, let me never sleep. So the detail that you do get here is like, whatever fucking nonsense happened with Miyagi fleeing Okinawa with this the arranged marriage and the fucking blood feud starting the dad is like

just elated that he's returned home and you get it's at least a nice thing of like there's no bad blood between these two guys quick out pretty good detail just for the the Miyagi timeline he flees to go to America then he meets whomever his wife becomes right and then they have a whole thing

and then he dies and all this stuff she dies and all she dies yeah she dies in between there he's fights in World War II for America, which is an interesting detail in general especially, you know, I think we mentioned it before, but you know, Pat Marita having been in an intermin

camp, right? Yeah. Yeah. So, but so he left. Terrible. He left Japan, I guess, during the, before the war, just before. It's weird. It must have been before the war, yeah.

Yeah, because I mean, I think he's like very young when it happens, like 18 or something. when this all goes down. And so, I mean, it is also possible, too, that he fled to America, met what became Mrs. Miyagi, who became Mrs. Miyagi, and then went to serve. You know what I mean? Like, it wasn't fleeing, serving,

and then finding this lady. So do you think the whole time he was married, he's fall in love with this beautiful wife that he loved so much? He was also like, I kind of wish you were Yuki. Yeah, you're fine, I guess. I think, I mean, I think the thing is, dude, we need, we should go back to the videotape, see if there was, um, any photographic evidence of the Mrs. Miyagi and whether or not she looks a little bit like the actress, Nobu McCarthy. And that's why you know what I mean? Like he was crying in the first, he was crying in the first movie because it wasn't the woman he wanted to marry.

I wasted by life. Yeah. Yeah. Mr. Miyagi is just walking around his house singing. If you can't be with the one you love. Love the one you wait. Love the one you with going to war now. Damnedest thing, I lost my eye in the service. You know, an interesting thing about Nobu McCarthy, the actress who played Yuki. She passed away in 2002. She played Pat Marita's wife on Happy Days.

Oh, that's fun. when he was what is it Ralph's place or no not Ralph Oh Arnold Arnold?

Arnold He was the rotating Arnold there on Happy Days for a bit and she played his wife too It's kind of neat And also here

Obviously the love interest shows up For Daniel son I should say Kumiko Yes Kumiko She's the one who actually translates for him

About the whole thing That you just said But the If I'm dead Oh you know what That's right dude You're totally right because it's it's machio asks her because what did you say because he's like four feet away it's

like oh she oh oh geez what did he say oh he said if they're going to stand out there they might as well come in because it's just really annoying would you tell that white bread son of a bitch to keep it down he said he said i have but hours left that fucking Italian kid to shove it. I might be dreaming but did somebody leave the Godfather Part 2 on on television?

That's what he said. And Kumiko's played by Tamlin Tomita who I guess is now reprising this role on Kobriki the TV series which is kind of interesting. She's been around. We actually

I noticed this last night looking through her filmography. We have spoken about her before on our Making It So, Star Trek Picard Recap podcast over on our Patreon. She played the crooked Commodore Oh. Oh, yeah. Oh. I can see it. Yeah,

I can see it. That may make sense. And I guess she's also on that fucking show The Good Doctor, which thanks for no, thanks but no thanks, America. Not happening. NBC nonsense or is it CBS nonsense? It's always hard to keep those straight

ooh shit dude I think that might be ABC nonsense to tell you the truth confirmed ABC I'm on the page right now nice

so we're starting to learn a little bit of a new karate move which is called dodging

is it is that what he refers to it is no I mean but that's what it is because it's like okay oh because it's like

the best kind of block is to not be there which is to dodge a punch which is a good idea sure no I just thought you were saying that I missed some line where he's like

now this one kid this one's called dodging see um and yeah there's this kind of cool scene there on the wharf again and he has to like there's this crazy like death contraption spike that's coming after him dude this is some final destination shit that he takes him to right

here um something well because like this was at one time Miyagi's village was a fishing village um and apparently he tells some story that Sato's father destroyed the entire fishing industry for

the village because he like contracted all these big heavy hitting fishermen to come in and they fucking totally just fished all the water clean and screwed over all of these guys and Miyagi's just like so anyways after that happened I also had my first date here on this war if you see

and I got jacked off next to a fucking empty lake my boys were swimming alone in that pond they tell you she was very courteous I said let's put some tadpoles in there there's nothing in there maybe something will grow and in the middle of there's this crazy thing

this is when Miyagi's father dies but when actually Miyagi goes back to the village and Saito is ready to fight him again but then as his father's dying he kind of brings the two guys together and there's like sort of a making a pseudo making peace ceremony yeah maybe this should have been enough maybe sato should have been like all right my my sensei's dying

wish is to not murder his son maybe i should honor that exactly sato yeah should have backed off here also but i do love that sato through i mean almost all of this movie but especially in this scene where he runs into them in the village and it's like all about to go down he is so much the like uh hey miagi thought i told you never to come in here like he is he is the biff tanant of this village he is tracking down miagi to bully him at any possible moment he can find i love it it is alternate 1985 biff because he owns the town exactly yeah you're totally right dude you're absolutely right he's also owning him right after the father dies like as the The father dies, and then Sato's like, hey, look here, I'm going to give you three days, three days to morning, and then, you know what, you're going to join him in the afterlife.

You understand? Dude, great line, too. And, like, you're, you were standing over the dead body and pointing at it while. It's just insane. I'm going to send you to meet him. Yeah, your dad was a real sweet guy. Yeah, you know, always you should treat me to lunch. It would never let me pay.

It was always a big deal. And honestly, you know, it was a big deal. One time I got locked into my apartment. He let me in there once. Really, really sweet guy. By the way, I'm going to kill you in three days. You've got three days to morning. Then I'm going to murder you.

Here's the thing. Here's the thing, Yagi. All right. Sato here. Your father just died, and I totally respect that. He was a great man. But I hate you so much that I would rip off his dead arm and beat you with it right here.

So three days before I. I beat you to death with the corpse of your own father. See, he's the deal. It's basically that blood feud cost to me about 15 grand back when I didn't kind of have that kind of money. I had to borrow it for my brother-in-law. It was a big deal. I'm going to make your

face mash. Make your face mash. Tape recorder clicks death idea. Beating your rival to death with his dead father. Click. yeah sometimes i'm just walking around the village and i get so many great ideas to murder

write them down in the tape recorder i keep also working on a new play uh got that going on i think we're trying to get it up maybe next spring talking with the woody allen might star in it sato uh and it's awesome i mean this is the scene where machio kind of could uh heals them a little bit, you know, or a console's a bit, but we kind of do some, some, and you know, Machio still, you know, he's an American tourist in a Japan. This is beautiful lady. He's trying to get it wet here a little bit. Oh, of his match. All of his machio moves. Yeah, romantically, but he's trying to get it wet. Oh, for sure. I mean, you know, it's, it's kind of like they're there for a week. I will say, you know, their date scene is pretty, like, it's, it's charged. Like, just,

John Aveltson is not sleeping behind the camera here totally. He gives that scene some heat, I would say. They keep getting interrupted by Chozen. At some point, they're walking to the town. I forget what happens. Something's, oh, she's teaching him how to dance. And Chazzo, it's like, oh, look at the ladies dancing. I'm like, dude, he's making a move.

Like, come on. Chau has another great line earlier where he's like, oh, it's the coward Miyagi and his baby. Oh, that's right. And his baby. We should talk about the little hand drum thing that Miyagi gives him. And it's like, oh, this is all you ever need to know. It's a classic Miyagi bullshit line. It's like, all you ever need to know about karate is in this drum.

It's like, I don't know, dude. How about a straight punch? How about a straight kick? How about like, you know. I see that Cho Zen. He's got a lot more than one move, dude. And he's not dodging people. Here's the thing about Chosen fucking talking.

shit to LaRuso right there when he's trying to learn the dance like you're right Steve clearly like Laruso's making inroads here you do kind of get a sense of Chosen being like hey that used to be my fucking lady friend man like maybe a little bit of that going on

but also like Chazen you got nothing to stand on here dude I see the shirt you are wearing in this scene you look ridiculous no one is going to find this it is like this weird like shiny

multi-colory disco looking shirt this asshole I was kind of into it it's nice he's peacocking and guys he looks

fucking stupid okay should I I gotta ask should we be giving a Chosen a voice as well should be like Gary Busey

I think that's one too many balls in the air for we hate movies to joke fair enough here comes me

doggy and his baby I do love at some point in the scene like she rips his shirt off and like he I think he knocks over Daniel's Daniel and she gets pissed

and she like rips his shirt off and he's like ha you can add it to your collection because he's like totally jacked and he's like yeah yeah Chosen rules too he when that happens

it's because Laruso second time in his many films getting humiliated by the villain by getting kicked in the stomach in front of his prospective lady friend because the same thing happens

in the first movie when they're on the soccer field and he gets kicked in the stomach and falls over and then Elizabeth Shue has to be like hey why don't you get the fuck out of here Johnny and all of that stuff I do have to hand it to these movies they are dedicated to watching him getting the shit kicked out of it

oh yes in all these movies they all like you really like always a black guy always a little blood I gotta love it In this movie I think more than the first one He is getting

His ass handed to him I think if you looked at it Like if you averaged it out In the timeline Like I don't know Like once every like 15 minutes In this movie Ralph Mache gets his ass kicked

It's kind of awesome Listen Daniel son I'm not gonna miss words here A Chosen looks like he could eat you Like do you see this lean abdomen Do you see the bubble pectorals He's got going on here Yeah I'm gonna eat check

Look at my teeth by the way that girl's we're the only we're the only people the same age in this village so you got back off yeah I call dibs I got dibs can't go around dating one of those kids you're teach you to dance maybe that's like her weird job too yeah she's the the dance well she does want to be like a professional dancer but I don't know like if she's supposed to be working anywhere else or is like this she teaches like the town's children this one dance or something i think there's there's i think it's part of the bone dance or something that they oh bond dance yeah the one that they did at the castle for so many years i guess it's part of the you know

ancestral tradition or whatever yeah yeah yeah gotcha um so they go home from you know this laruso just being humiliated again and they fucking walk it and This is good. I'm glad that she is there with him. Kumiko, that is, with Daniel Laruso, because they get back to the house. And Miyagi, he's fucking making inroads of his own, man. Because he's doing this tea ceremony. And Laruso's like, outside. Hey, what are they doing? And she's like, she's like, listen, it's a tea ceremony. It means they're falling in love again. And I was just, I was just waiting for LaRuso to be like, yeah, Mr. Miyagi, you get it. You go get that love of your life, Mr. Miyagi. I'm ruining this for you, aren't I? Oh, Mr. Miyagi, can we do a love tea ceremony too?

Me and you, can we do a tea ceremony? I love you, Mr. Miyagi. Kid, keep it down. I'm trying to go to Poundown here, okay? Oh, cool, Mr. Miyagi. If you're going to go, I have sex in that one, would you should be a medal of honor? Guess what I smuggled it.

Little kid, kid, kid, kid. Kid, I'm on the way to Climax City. I'm on the expressway already, all right? The expressway. What does that mean? He's not going to last too long? Well, he's doing a tea ceremony. This is a very, like, a big gesture.

Hey, kid, I'm already ready to shoot, all right? I've already taken the pill. Listen, I got to, the sun is setting here. I got about two hours left or else this thing's gone. So. Go on. You know, all the commercials, it's always like swinging on a swing set or like dancing in your backyard. But no, it's a tea ceremony.

It's a tea ceremony this time. Yeah, this is why you never buy off-brand bono pills, kid, because this shit only works when the sun is up. I don't understand it. Gremlin rules on these bono pills. I don't get it. I can't eat after midnight. You know what? I can't even get it wet.

I gotta wear a rubber. I can't get wet while I'm in it, which is terrible, because for me, Mr. Miyagi, I love fucking in the shower. You know, if I break the rules, I could turn into John Cassivetti's. You're right. The fucking Gremlin equivalent to the,

the Maguai to Gremlin is Peter Falk to John Cassavetes. I love it. Although I would say the spike of the group is Ben Gazzara. Oh, jeez. Yes, absolutely. The lead gremlin.

So, I mean, what do we think here after this tea ceremony? Like, Mr. Miyagi had sex with this woman. Oh, for sure. Oh, yeah. Over sure. Right? They slept together. Loving it.

Because he does have, like, a next morning, like, a little bit of a pep in his step. He's walking around the house, barefoot, got a nice new crisply iron pair of slacks on. Just like that scene from grumpy old men when Jack Lemmon gets late. and he's like making eggs with Tabaski sauce for the first time in a decade because his stomach couldn't handle it but now that he emptied his boner ready to go.

Wait, wait, wait, he emptied it, huh? Yeah, yeah, that's what happened. Gotcha, thank you. I guess it's a thing where like, because she waited for him essentially. She never married or anything like that. I'm sure she's had some times of her own, but I mean, like, yeah, they're in their like 60s or something.

What are you waiting for you not going to get married, dude? You're totally right, Steve. Yuki is not Wonder Woman so she definitely fucked after the love of her life left her. There is a thing they're walking through the village.

This is a fucking another totally ridiculous Daniel LaRousseau moment where they're like walking around and he's like, so what don't like your hopes and dreams and stuff? What do you want to do for a living?

And she's like, oh, I'll show you. And they go up to this electronic store window and she goes, oh yeah, like right here. And he goes, what do you want to sell TV? for a living. You're like, you fucking moron. And she's like, I know, like, what's on the TVs.

And there's like a ballerina dancing or something. I think it's actually, I was reading on IMDB, it's a clip from fame. That's on the television. But yeah, just that line like, what do you want to sell television? Like, what if she did, dude? You just fucking cursed your whole operation here. Yeah, she doesn't have lofty goals like winning another all of that. tournament you fucking idiot do you oh man imagine like he asks her like you know oh what do you want

to do you know in your future and she's like well one thing i've always wanted to do is go to california and win the all valley karate tournament and then he would get fucking totally indignant with her oh what either you can win the all valley look not just anybody can win the all valley mr biaki i want to go home it'd be cool if he like just like he starts courting her but that he ends up fighting her. And she fucking totally wrecks him in like two seconds. It would be great. While they're standing outside that store, though,

everybody catch the celebrity siding here? No. Oh, yeah. Beattie Wong. The guy. Oh, yeah. Beattie Wong is the guy who runs up and he's like, hey, there's a dance.

Here's a flyer. Got to go. See you in Jurassic Park. But this is also where we see right after the Beedy Wong siding is where. Leruso's like, oh, look, there's Sato's Dojo. Like, let's go fucking look at that. And she's like, dude, do not let any of them see you. Like, please get your ugly face

out of that window. Come on, kid. It is funny, um, Biddy Wong, because like, like you're saying, like Japanese actors have to like, they're all from America. Like Biddy Wong's from San Francisco. And like, he's just like, all right, there's a cool day. He's young too. And he's like, he sounds like a ninja turtle. He's trying to do like a Japanese accent, but it really does go off like a Ninja Turtle. It's pretty hilarious. all right radical talk to you later by the way at some point uh uh daniel le russo uh is uh i think it's uh chozen

he's like he's like oh boy that's the first time i was told somebody told me they've got they're gonna kill me yes i love that and i'm like it's oh right not going to be the last no seriously and i'm actually surprised that it was the first we run into him here again what what's interesting about this sequence where they they walk by this bar and it's a little rowdy and stuff and she's like no that's a bad place let's not go there and he's like what are you talking about come on I'm a tourist let's go in

I couldn't believe it like when you you know especially in the case of like going all the way to a foreign land right and you have the sweet fortune of being able to be shown around by a local and that local is like you know we shouldn't go in there

it kind of sucks and it's like a little dangerous listen to that person course. Because otherwise, you're going to find yourself fucking punching through a bunch of ice blocks while your fucking weird surrogate dad gambles on you. Well, this is, I mean, this seems the most loud mouth he gets because they go in and it's like a bunch of GIs. They're doing this weird karate ice break thing in the middle of a bar. Sure. Whatever? It seems like it. Including Clarence Gilliard, by the way. Everybody recognized him? I did. Love it. It seems like it's a fixture of the bar. Like, it's like darts. Yes, exactly. Ice breaking. Oh, yeah. Dude, this is like, this is the, this, like, town's equivalent of, like, there's, there would be, there was that one bar now in the city, I can't remember it, but like the bar that had the fucking, uh, like buck and bronco machine in it. Yeah, yeah. And like, like, you went to that bar because you knew that that thing was there and you could watch people do that. Right. That's what this place. It's the ice block bar. You can go there. Dudes are chopping ice. It's fucking ridiculous. You can watch these drunk GIs break their hands all the time.

And it's kind of like the modern thing of the axe throwing bar. Yes. Well, this is, I would say this is much safer than throwing a fucking axe around while people are drinking. I don't know. Yes. I feel like you're going to get a lot of people hurting their hands doing this ice break. No, hurting themselves, fine. Hurting others by hurling an axe through a bar while you've been drinking a little more dangerous.

It's not the middle of the thing. It's a specialized area. Look, I could chuggle with just like, oh, oh, oh, oh, that. That's a lot of blood. And I know it's a specialized area, Steve, but do not tell me that there is nary an establishment in this country that has one of those things that has not had some sort of accident happen. That's fair. I do love. Somewhere something went wrong.

So these guys are rowdy. They're drunk. They're big American GIs. They're scary. Screaming about this thing. And Machio is just like, oh, my, geez, they're doing it all wrong. you gotta use you blah blah blah and then clarence clear it's like oh yeah loud mouth he calls him like fucking finally someone said it let's let's let's see this guy breaks some bricks okay put up sex

put up sex yeah that's right because he's like i'll give you then chosan sure emerges i guess he like he got out of his karate class changed immediately ran down to this bar right point shit yeah he was in that fucking karate class wasn't he yeah like three minutes ago i think we are seeing it wrap up while Machio's kind of peering through. And you know that it's like, all right, class dismissed, and I'm going to go to the bar I always go to afterwards. They're punching

ice blocks. Get in all that action. I mean, and the crazy thing is you're seeing dudes, like these GIs trying to do it, and it's like, they can't even break through like three or something like that. And then, you know, like Chosen's buddy is like,

so what do you think, man? We'd do like four, and he's like, how about six? Like really trying to fuck this dude over. I appreciate it. Style points for Chazan right here. And then like what Miyagi comes in, it's like, is there a betting going on? Okay, here we go.

I'll put 600 in. Well, what's ridiculous is like it's first, it's just the two of them, right? It's just Daniel and Kamiko and they walk into this bar. And then all of a sudden, there's Mr. Miyagi. And then all of a sudden, there's Chosen. And then all of a sudden, there's Sato. And all of a sudden, you realize,

Every character with speaking lines from this movie, because what's her face, Yuki's there also with Mr. Miyagi, every character with a speaking line is at this ice blocking competition. It's like he had to rush more all of a sudden. You know what I mean? Like, everybody's there.

The one girl, she runs out, and I guess she presumably gets Miyagi, who we are told is in that area of the town to buy a part for a refrigerator. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So there you go. Oh, right.

Well, look, he laid pipe, and now he's got to, you know, you've got to start being the man around the house, start fixing that refrigerator, dude. Yeah. I think that's the idea. Well, I think it's maybe some points here, you know, like, all right, I'll fix a refrigerator and then more sex tonight. It's going to be great. Well, I am going to have to, I am going to be abandoning her in like two days.

Exactly. I should be, uh, fix a refrigerator at least. Goodbye, sweetheart. Yeah, you can, uh, keep your vegetables. vegetable's cold now. Now listen, they kicked me out of the local casinos. How much money can I put on the boy? Whenever she gets a salsa out of there, she's going to be thinking about this hog. That's another instance, though, with the refrigerator where Daniel does not realize how close he is to cock blocking him because he's like, he's like, Mr. Miyagi,

what are you doing up there? And he's like, I'm fixing the refrigeration unit here. There's something a miss with it. What are you doing? And he's like, oh, you know, we're going out. Camico's taking me sightseeing. But I can help you with this refrigerator. And he's like, no, I got it. Yeah, exactly. No, no, Mr. Miyagi, no, you always help me out, Mr. Miyagi. I'll help you fix this refrigerator. No, no, I've got it. Listen, kid, when grown-ups fix refrigerators, it's a lot of things go on. You know what I mean? I'm going to be fixing this refrigerator all day, all right? One time I fixed a fridge real good. and nine months later the stalk game often often when fixing your refrigerator you have to bang it against the wall

oh my god sometimes kid the best way to get a refrigerator up and running fast is pull its hair oh my god mr meaghi likes it rough yeah i'm sure he does i'm not gonna doubt that he was crushing have happened there with that tea ceremony I got to lay down some newspapers before we do it wow it sounds like Miyagi was fixing the refrigerator last night it much

like a broken refrigerator there seems to be wetness all over the floor of course that coward fixed the refrigerator that I fixed about 14 days ago I mean by gosh it should have the same fridge gets fixed by the same guy in two weeks, it's a pretty lucky refrigerator. Now, let me ask you, how much can I put on the boy?

Well, that's, yeah, that's, so basically, the bet is, me, he's like, I'll put down six hundred, six large that this kid. Unbelievable. At three to one, three to one odds, by the way, that he can crack all six, all six ice and like, oh, geez, Mr. Miyaki, I can't do this one, but I'm like, just focus. Of course he does it. It, it rules. This is a scene, like, I grew up with this movie a lot.

I probably saw this movie. almost as much as the first one growing up and I remember this seemed like perfectly you know what I mean all of it oh yeah Trousson has a moment where he can't he can't like cover that bet so that's why Sato shows up to be the finance year

that's right because Miyagi's like yeah I don't know how about like $600 that work for you that work for you and he's just like oh my God I can't cover that okay listen I'll cover the kid we'll take care of it it'll be fine I just I want points on the back end but this like he shows in this moment that he's utilizing mr miagi's breathing technique which is what he was

trying to teach him back in california with the whole like nail thing it was like you know just like breathe in and then breathe out when you hit the nail so that's like kind of the you know because he says what's miagi's lying there like you know without breath there is no life right so it's again like Daniel's son very much picking up quick what Mr. Miyagi's putting down. Smart kid. Slays these ice blocks. He does. And Sato, man, the fucking facial expressions on this dude.

I love it. This guy is furious about what happened. Well, that's, that is great. His face after that, but nothing beats. They go back to the bar and fucking Chosad is like about to not allow them to take the money. Yeah. Oh, right. Sato is like, you know,

you fucking disgusted me today. you've fucked up my whole day let him have the money you've embarrassed me could you just go away from now I wake up here I'm going to this I'm coming here to get my tailor to get my suit fixed and I hear this bed I cover it now I'm down two grand

great just great fantastic I never thought I'd be saying this but I hope that I'm starting to feel like I wish that little Italian kid was my nephew don't say that uncle let me ask you maybe I started calling you a baby

would you like to be called that baby I would not like to be called a baby and first of all I don't think we should be honoring the bets of cowards absolutely and it's amazing so Miyagi divvies out the money is like you know what here's the money for your ticket back so that I can go to college Christ I can't believe that's my responsibility and now

fucking outrageous let me let me treat you to some Chinese food let's get the ladies some Chinese food then they go to this dance and I cannot believe it's a fun little sock hop dance it's a cute moment between Camico and Machio here we're dancing it's fun and really dancing dude really really dancing in this scene they are and uh Chosen shows up and like Machio brought like what like a thousand dollars on him downtown like dude you you get that money

you take out 40 bucks for the night it's 1980 you're fine put the rest under your pillow or something absolutely it's like they ate that Chinese food and then it's like okay mr. Miyagi oh you you and yuki are going home okay can you just take all of this money because we're going out

to this dance but you're going home where things are going to be safe and it's not a public place could you take this money that's what you got to do dude And instead, he is fucking just breaking this wad out in public and showing people. Idiot. Idiot. Insane.

So he did. Earlier in the movie also, Mr. Miyagi teaches him the ancient art hitting someone into bulls. Oh, man. It's great. Also, with a little bit of theatricality also because it's like a, whoops, drop my handkerchief. Like it's a, I have to bend down to pick something up off the floor. Yes. And then I'm punching you in a fucking nuts.

Oh, no, my nerds. It is a great punch to the balls. And I realized in this moment, because they are doing very much like a Happy Days sock-up type dance. That's what's happening here. This was 1986. This movie came out.

1985, Back to the Future comes out. Both of these motion pictures feature a scene where the song Earth Angel is playing while someone gets punched at a dance. It is fucking great. It's a mark of quality. right there. But yeah, this whole,

this is they start like holding hands. It's another great little nice romantic moment that is squandered almost immediately. I mean, there's so much of like they're just about to kiss. I think they are kind of going in for it right here or no. Is it just handholding? Yeah, they might be going in for the for the smooch. Oh, you know, no, they get the kiss gets fucked up

when they have their own tea ceremony. Because the bell starts ringing because a fucking storm is coming. Yeah, okay. But yeah, this punch to the balls is great. But again, Machio does kind of get beat up a little bit here, though. Of course he does. It's a pretty intense scene, too. Like, there's a little bit of a rape threat thing going on.

Like, we're going to take her out back. We're going to take her girlfriend back. Yeah. Just like back to the future. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. Yeah.

George helped me. Yeah, exactly. It was the 1980s. It was the 1980s. Might as well been the 50s. That is right. So that all sort of ends and then it's like that night. And this is one of the funniest things I think is like Sato going to Mr. Miyagi's house with his goons and just screaming into the night for Miyagi to walk outside.

Miyagi, show yourself here. I'm getting cold out here. I'm only wearing a kimono. My nip to freeze it out here. Yeah, come on. It came all the way down here, Miyagi. me and my uncle are going to trash your dojo. Listen,

me, what I'm going to do is I'm going to rip up your whole town, your whole damn village. I'm going to destroy it. I'm going to rip the whole damn thing up. I'm sorry. But I'm not sorry. I hate your ass.

I'm going to rip up your whole village. Two words, buddy. Blood feud. Blood feud. I hope you didn't want these crops. I'm ripping them up. Dude, yeah. He starts because the whole thing is

like, Laruso comes down. He's like, yeah, what you guys want? And he, he's, Asato says, because he's like, you know, where's Miyagi? And he's like, he's not here. And he goes, yeah, well, leave a message for me. And then they just start fucking up the garden, man. And they go into, earlier in the movie, we finally see the Miyagi Dojo with the, it has these like old scrolls that are, that are the rules of karate, fucking Sat, uh, what, uh, Chozen's fucking those up with this really cool spear. oh yeah this spear is pretty bad dude he's running around with the spear it's it's terrifying

because in the last karate kid movie you know no weapons chosen tries to kill him here there's the thing was like oh did you're hey did your uh sense i ever teach you how to fight with spears he's like well no he's like too fucking bad you're gonna die and he starts choking him out dude it's pretty fucking crazy i'm gonna turn you do it to a kebab right now You know, Mr. Miyagi comes out of nowhere. I think he was still getting laid. I think he was still busy. Definitely.

Some business to intend to. Yeah, there's a big... I'll get to the garden in a second. Giant wet mark all around his crotch. Daniel's joking. X, Y, Z. Oh, oh. But, you know, Mr. Miyagi kicking the shit out of these dudes.

It's fucking awesome. Reminis of the first one, obviously. But, you know, we're playing the hits a little bit. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but it's fun. It is. Yeah.

He almost gets this fucking spear in the face, though. And crazy thing is, uh, Chazan is the only guy, and this was trivia. I didn't notice this anywhere else, but, uh, who apparently got, uh, a legit hit on Miyagi in any of these movies because he fucking totally, it's, this actor is just wailing Pat Marita over the back with this spear. Well, that's the thing, too, is like, it's believable in the first one because they're just little, little kids.

that he's beating up in this movie it's a short squat 60 year old man he's got no reach he's not that fast and he's beating the shit out of all these guys question mark it's fine it's a movie yeah but Chosen would make him eat his lunch that's what would happen no you're totally right it is one thing

to beat up children after a Halloween dance also Chosen also looks like he's on uppers for half of this so exactly he might be a little bit more up to date with the speed it would have been rad if there was some like maybe at the dance like before he fucks with La Rousseau or something

there is a scene where like Chazen's in the bathroom and he's just fucking like snorting something off the sink. Absolutely. Yeah, this will get me where I need to go. Like so Miyagi gets the spear away from him and almost kills him with it and then like the fact that Miyagi doesn't makes Chosan

flip out. He's like, hey, you didn't kill me with the spear. You must be a coward. Yeah. Kind of a weird mood here. Kind of a weird move. honestly why'd you fucking kill me I mean then again we're almost in year two of the pandemic so I get you

I get you dude yeah please yeah I'll take a spear to the face I don't give the fuck anymore just tell me that's the Moderna vaccine I wouldn't know the difference yeah that's how we're delivering the vaccine is by spear we're gonna spear you right in the arm

yeah that's right beaggie come on down to my my dojo I'll teach I'll give you the A bullet to the fucking head. Yeah. It's a death vaccine, Miyagi. Oh, dude, Alan Alda in death vaccine? Absolutely. Oh, fuck, dude.

He's like a crooked doctor. You'll only need to get stuck once. Oh, it's death vaccine. Oh, man. No, a vaccine and it's V-E-X? Yes. And then what happens? Like he's vex.

Like, he's vex. Rather than death vaccine. Oh, I see. I see. what you're saying. I didn't follow. I'm stupid. Weird detail here though. When like when all is said and done, you know, those dudes run off and everything and La Rousseau has some line about like we got to do something about this or whatever. And Miyagi is like, oh, you know what? It's not worth it, Danielson, because we're leaving tomorrow. And I was like, you're leaving tomorrow?

Your family's house was just destroyed by these people and you're going to fucking shag-ass Miyagi. Now that is actual cowardice, sir. So then the next day, as they're packing up, basically, um, uh, Sato comes back, is like, listen, I'm going to I'm going to destroy the whole fucking town. This town means nothing to me. I've got towns, I got towns like this I forgot about. Okay, Miyagi, I don't care.

I've got so, I don't know, I got too many towns anyway. You know, I told my nephew there to turn up your turnips. Next, I'm going to turn up your houses. Yeah, houses. It is great, though, dude, because he fucking rolls. up in like a station wagon or something but also with like a bunch of dudes driving bulldozers

yeah the property taxes alone are killing me so but also that and the blood feud may I let's you forget yeah it's it's mostly the blood feud but also the American military gave me a good deal on the selling the rest of this town off to expand the base I can only take

so much humiliation you understand that be Yagi so I have to destroy your village um so you know, Miyagi, you know, it comes down to this. Miyagi says, look, I will finally fight you. And no matter if I win or lose, you have to agree, like, just due to me agreeing to do this, you have to agree to give the townspeople the deed to the land, you know, and the town is just owned by the villagers in perpetuity.

Yeah, that's pretty good move. It's a good move. It's a good move because as Miyagi points out later, right, he says to Daniel, because Daniel's of course, like freaking out about Mr. Miyagi getting killed and whatever, and he's like, whatever happens to me, he says, you know, Miyagi already won because the town is safe. So it's this big, heroic gesture to Mr.

from Mr. Miyagi, man. Like, he's ready to lay down his life for this town. Daniel, don't worry about it. No matter what happens, I won. I put three lodged in Shaito killing me. It's going to pay out two to one. I'm going to make out, well, I'll be dead, but I'll make out pretty well. It's enough to pay the river, man.

he does also he does deed Daniel's house and everything make it up pretty well here Daniel not bad oh right because he says he says if he died

oh that well because it's dude it is this would have taken me by surprise Miyagi comes in he's like here you go

Daniel son he gives him something Daniel's like what's this and he's like last will and testament like oh fuck

but it states that Miyagi yeah gives Daniel Laruso the house and cars in L.A. and then Yuki will get the house here in Okinawa.

But can you just imagine like someone being like, ah, here you go. You took that right. Now it's in your hand. Well, that's my last will and testament. What responsibility? Like, you've got to find a fucking executor of the estate now. To hand it to a high schooler and this

moron of all people. He's going to fucking lose it on the plane, this asshole. Oh, I got ketchup on it, Miss Miyagi. Oh, you're dead. You'll be lucky if he doesn't trade it for beans this idiot I think the deal is if Miyagi does win though he should have agreed to take Daniel on

a tour around the world chopping ice blocks for money like karate kid part karate kid part 3 is fucking totally ridiculous and Terry Silva alone is worth a watch for that movie but if the plot of Crowdy Kid 3 was they're just going around kind of like over the top

right like just doing all these like arm wrestling competitions but it's just ice chopping. Next up on Fox, it's ice breakers from the mind of Daniel LaRousseau, famed international icebreaker. We bring you ice breakers. And I think the conceit of that show is it's two people standing in front of a block of ice. They have one minute exactly

to get to know each other a little bit. And then if they want to continue the date, they try to chop the ice in half. I like it. It's speed dating, mixed with the thrill of karate. This just in. Icebreakers has been canceled. Yeah. After one taping. We didn't even cut it. It's just the taping. We decided to stop. Well, because it was the first person that went to try to, you know, chop the ice and they broke their wrist forever. Ah, we're sued forever. Fantastic. Yeah. So it's the night of the big blood feud. But first, um, uh, Kamiko takes, uh, Ralph Machio away for a little tea, Sarah.

ceremony okay yeah dude you guys think there was like fucking like some sort of like boner powder in that team absolutely yeah huh like really get him going definitely uh it's amazing also ralph macho like he's really bad he keeps being like really american references to this woman she's like i i'm you know i'm speaking english really well but i don't have any idea what you're talking about i don't know what the fucking palisades are you asshole you know i it's it's it's funny dude that any time that happened in this movie because he uses a lot of like slang in front of her

like he's and just like weird American expressions like he says stuff like she says something to him and he goes you know like oh I guess I wasn't oh what the fuck is the expression now I'm gonna forget it but he's like one of those like when they were giving out

whatever I was in the bathroom or I must have been absent the day they covered whatever I think is what it is gracefulness yeah that's right yeah I think I was at the day they were giving out gracefulness or something like that or teaching gracefulness and she's like what but it reminded me of when I was in middle school

we had an exchange program with or I took Russian all through high school we had an exchange program and a couple like Russian kids came over and stayed with some families and everything and they came to the class and we got to talk to them

and I was doing that like just speaking in slang and just being like a fucking dumb ass like eighth grade kid and not the guy that I was talking to had to be like all right so what is like I think I said like chill out like I was like what do you do to chill out and he was like what is that me and I was like oh I'm being very pigish right now pardon me so like Ralph Montjo doing that this movie I was like getting fucking flashbacks because you can't I mean you don't like speak slowly but you can't just be like using weird euphemisms that no one could ever possibly get yeah that's exactly right yeah and then also like yeah real Jersey specific shit like oh it looks like the palisades ah yes this tiny mountain range in northern New Jersey boy I just love your spaghetti mouth Jesus Christ

that's a love song your spaghetti mouth sounds like a loud in rain right got a lot of sauce dripping out the corners your spaghetti mouth I want to put a noodle in you that's the chorus comes a meatball. They do kiss, which I was

pretty surprised for the 1980s that they allowed a white guy to kiss a Japanese woman. I was thrilled, but I just did not see this coming. I thought we were going to go like that. Because literally the wrath of Mother Nature rames down on this because as soon as they start kissing, it's like

the fucking bell goes off. It's like, oh my God, a storm's coming. Yeah, God hates this. Something unnatural is happening. it is ridiculous dude he is fucking cucked by mother nature um and yes this is the big storm sequence and it kind of like you know um they're running this this is all you need to know about daniel russo and why you should never deal with this guy they're in the middle of a hurricane miagi is getting him into a shelter and he has to stop like god jeez mr miagi can you believe all this

wind and i'm like it's a fucking it's a fucking hurricane kid Just shut up. Just shut your dumb mouth for two seconds. Gee, Mr. Miyagi, do you see how, you know, I had to tease everybody. Just go in there before I kill you myself. And so, like, they are hiding in this, you know, bunker. The whole town is in this bunker. I think these structures actually have some name to them that I can't recall.

But, like, Laruso says something to him about, like, oh, Mr. Miyagi, you even have these in your town? I'm not going to think of it. but they're in, like, storm shelter, bunkery things. Probably also, like, remnants from the war, I'm guessing. Yeah. Like, some sort of, like, bomb shelter situation, maybe. But this whole thing is going on, and then, like, they see this old woman carrying a child who's still left outside.

And this is, like, this bunker is packed with people, right? Only the four characters that were following go out to help this lady. You need at least, like, one extra or something. Like the whole town is hiding in here. There's a lot of family. Her family is in there. Ignoring her. There's a lot of able-bodied men I'm seeing in there that are just like kind of

hanging out. Absolutely. It's ridiculous. And so like, well, they save the lady and the baby and everything. And then a house collapses. And I guess they realized that was the house like Sato was in there preparing for the fight. And they're like, holy fuck that happened. just collapsed on him and then chosen comes out right he's like no he's dead let's move on

he's fucking dead he's fucking definitely don't check or anything he's definitely dead it's over for sato i inherit everything about yeah you know it seems like i'm fearless but i'm actually deadly scared of rain and uh they go in and check and he's just under a beam and he's like fine yeah he's totally he's talking he's just like he's stuck with yeah there's like a beam over his chest and he can't get it out but like he's totally alive like this dude chosen did not fucking check one second for this guy well it looks like there's like there would be i mean it's raining so this would happen but like there's like uh like he would be crushed if something moved i guess sure but like yeah who cares but like also like

wouldn't you rather die than have what happens happen you're fucking this death feud you're about to have is interrupted with you almost dying and the guy that you wanted to kill more than anything in your life saving you once again. Yeah. Well dude, the fucking best part of this though is like, so this beam is on

him and Miyagi and Daniels are trying to like get it off of him and then Miyagi gets up on top and he's like raising his hand up and Sato is like, oh yeah of course this is exactly what's going to happen. The coward's now going to kill me while the big beam is stuck on me. And

And then Miyagi, man, just fucking punches this thing in half and saves his old friend. And he even has the line, like, come on, let me get you up, old friend or something like that. And I'm like, man, Sato thinking that this guy was going to fucking murder him while who's pinned down under a bee. Get your fucking hand out of my face. Don't you give me your hand, you piece of shit. There is a great, so there's a little girl up on a power line for some reason. Well, this was the bell. This was the belt tower.

Oh, okay. Yeah. The power lines get pushed onto it. Daniel Laruso running up there to save her. Amazing bit here, kind of like an army of darkness scene of him taken off this belt and using it as a whip. Yeah.

Yes. To literally belt away these power lines. And then we should mention that Chosen has refused to go help this girl. Well, because he's like, and help Laruso. Yeah, I'm good. Well, because meanwhile, the sequence of vent is he goes inside. then there's some other lady

that falls in the mud Sato helps them out and then he's like, alright, now it's your turn. We're all, listen, we're doing this thing now, we're helping everybody out. We were turning to good guys here, Chazad. You don't want to get into the good guy train? You're not going to get out of the good guy trade with me?

I'm scared of death of rain. I can't do it. I know, it's like, I made a salt, you know. Rain killed my pappy. I am curious about the family structure here. what now like it's the nephew

what's the rest of Sato's family well I mean I think the other thing is doesn't Sato also make some mention of he too never married so you just have all these like weird miserable single people oh my god is Sato an in cell oh possibly

oh boy no no no he's way too successful to be he's also got an escort service too as we as that's true that's true yeah okay but his whole Right. His whole vibe is what zero pussy does to a motherfucker, though. That's absolutely true.

That is indeed his whole vibe. You are correct. I love the little bell tower girl, though, because the thing I thought of immediately, because she's like hanging from this thing like, why won't somebody help me? All I could think about was that fucking stellar Simpsons gag where the little girl's on the rings. And she's like, Mrs. Pommel Wars. Yes.

I'd like to get down, please. the fucking town just leaves this pearl girl out to dry and she is the one that notified everybody that the storm was coming. Selfish, selfish people. Did you ever see The Wizard of Oz? You melt if you go into the rain. I read that short story about those salt people that time

Stuck in my brain. It is kind of hilarious. The girl that Sato, like it's the bell girl. Sato winds up being the ultimate savior because Leruso keeps slipping in the mud. That's right. and there's no there's no like he's not crawling up a hill okay there's nothing really crazy going on

it's just daniel russo can't stand at his own two feet for whatever reason didn't really make sense to me um and so the next day uh they're trying to rebuild the town and here comes sato with all these construction guys to help rebuild the town and he's like listen eh listen biagi i got egg all my face here there's there's blood feud i've been harbored for about 40 years uh seems to been a bad idea. My doctor's been telling me I've got to get rid of it. I've got to get rid of that and the red meat and the cigarettes for sure. But I'll start with the blood feud.

We'll see about the cigarettes. I'm not going to tell him, though. I don't want to upset him. He's already prescribed me all these great-an acids. I already get another blood feud going because I hate my nephew's rotten guts. Like that's the fucking great Sato line at the end of that

it goes up to Chazan in the little, you know, bunker or whatever. And he's just like, Like, yeah, now to you, I am dead. Which is just stellar. Tape recorder, click, a new family idea. Abandoning your nephew. Italian kid could be new nephew, questioned by.

Revisit. Get better baby. He also says that like the dance can happen at the castle now and forever. Everyone's so fucking happy. It's kind of like Ewok Village vibes at the end of Return of the Jedi

here. Yeah, very each up a nub-nub. Did everybody, because they cut to this castle set and there's a shit ton of people here for the

dance and the ceremony and everything. Did you guys catch this extra like right at the front like bottom of the frame as they go into this place? I don't think so.

There is a guy that looks exactly, exactly. like David Cross as Tobias Fyton Kick and I was like did

like Mitch Hurwitz and those guys like when they were coming up with that show were they like we want to make David Cross like exactly like that character

like they loved Karate Kid too so much and they were like that extra has always been hilarious to us let's you know write one of our characters it's like

it's terrifying how much it looks exactly like Tobias I couldn't get over it had to rewind I mean Sato does strike me as a never nude. So we're all

dancing, we're having a great time. Even Sato's getting on the act. There's like booze being passed around. You're like, oh, cool, it's the end of the movie. Uh, uh, uh, here comes Chosen dressed like motherfucking scorpion repelling into this dance

ready to kill and it rules. Hey there, get over here. He runs in like a maniac. No, he repels it. He literally swoops in like a fucking pirate. Oh, is it a swoop? I missed the swoop. He flies down the line.

Yes. Oh my God, that's great. I'm going to have to go back now. I totally don't remember that. It's a good moment. It's fucking awesome. There's this weird thing where like, Kumiko's doing a separate dance away from everybody. He grabs her and chokes her and he's like, I will, you know, I'll kill her

unless I fight Laruso basically and there's like He's got a knife to her throat He's got a knife to her throat and there's a bridge

and a platform so basically they now removed the bridge so it's just Chosen Camico and Laruso

on this platform and I'm like wowza where did this movie come from I like it but where did this movie come from

it's crazy because the movie lulls you into this expectation of like okay, this movie it's completely different from the first one, like clearly we're focusing

on karate in a little bit of a different way, right? And so you're not expecting like the big blowout fight but now it's like a big blowout fight on the set of a Mortal Kombat level. I mean, this bridge falling down, this is insanity. It really

feels like the movie ended and now they're like, well, there wasn't any real big karate fight. Put a karate fight in the end. Yeah, we got it. Yeah. And it's been, it's been Mr. Miyagi show for a while. Let's have a big Laruso's scene here. There's a good moment with Miyagi, like, all right, kid, you know, you usually play for little trophies. This is playing for keeps, okay?

This is a street fight. This is a real deal. You put him in the ground, and he's going to put you in the ground. That's the deal here, kid. And guess what? It's totally legal. Yeah, and this is how the sequel heightens it, you know, like the last one. What was the real danger there, you know, pride?

And here it's like, you're going to fucking die. I would love it if somehow that referee just showed up. You know what I mean? Like he was in town. He's got like all this popcorn. Oh, fuck. He comes in like fan man. It would be awesome, dude.

They're about to like start fighting and then like a car horn goes off. And it's this dude like getting out of a cab like running down to the platform. Like, oh my God. I didn't think I was going to make it in time for the final fight. Oh, good thing I wore my referee shirt on the plane. I didn't want to change a referee shirt. This guy just is starting like a library of like Leruso tapes, like the Grateful Dead Live tapes.

And he's just got, this is like the really rare one. Sick boots, dude. La Rousseau in Japan, in Okinawa, it's the rarest of the mall. Oh, my God. Did you guys see LaRuso 86 at the Okinawa Coliseum? Oh my God, the fight that night was unforgettable. They were on fire. He fought Chosen and that guy.

man he didn't know what karate was all about nothing he did not no he didn't nothing beats Laruso at the Reno Punchapalooza 1989 it was just

you had to be there you really had to be I got to say Laruso at his sister's wedding in 93 I'll leave it at that you got to watch a tape it's amazing

it's fucking amazing it was fucking wild give it given he only hospitalizes three people in that video but uh you know take what you can get uh whatever so it's the big fight um basically miagi realizes the only thing he's sort of taught daniel is the drum technique i guess it's the drum technique question mark yeah uh sure that's the whole dodging thing it's kind of based on the little drum instrument and at one point in the movie uh daniel's like does the drum have a punch And he's like, ask the fucking drum, kid.

Yeah. But so then we're doing the drum thing. Who would have guessed a guy that actually knows karate who fucking block the bullshit crane kick? The quote unquote unblockable move. I think he could even see some people in the crowd laughing at that. They were like, that fucking kid tried that thing. That thing is one of the biggest jokes of all time. That kid just did that seriously in a fight.

Fuck this. That's like a baby move. it is great to see it tossed aside like that you know this is the sequel it's bigger it's more dangerous but dude it's like Luke Skywalker fucking tossing the lightsaber at the start of the last Jedi but the problem with that is that the villain you've made Chosen into like he needs to fall into a volcano at the end of it

yes you're telling you're too much you've gone too far also again if he's this maniacal and crazy and swooping in and all this stuff I need the quick two-second scene of him in the car fucking tooting some shit off of his hand really quick and then running in there like a maniac. Yeah, at least give me him like popping a pill or two.

That's all I need. And, you know, they do the drum thing. He realizes now that he knows how to punch all of a sudden and he like punches him a bunch. Yeah. I think this is the drum punch because he's like moving back and forth. Yes. And for some reason, Chosen cannot block.

these punches. My God, he could not. It's a combo, combo. Well, yeah. Well, it's the weird, I think, like, he can't block those because he's getting punched, like, right after he's trying to punch Ralph Machio. Like, that's why this move, I think, is supposed

to be so great. But, like, Chosen should know what's going on and just, like, step back a little bit. But he keeps falling for it. Like, fool me once, you know, karate kid, okay, but, like, this dude keeps trying to swing out of it. I got to say it is funny that you move from like your original training is like actual like adult things like washing the car, building like a house, like fences, stuff like that.

And your whole trading here is play with this toy. Yeah. Yeah, do this baby shit for a little bit. Yeah, just do the baby shit and then almost get stabbed by something. You'll be able to beat the day. We should point out though, before he, you know, Miyagi holds up the drum and clues him into like this is what you got to do. Leruso is getting the shit out of him in this fight.

It's kind of incredible. I mean, you spend so much of the movie being frustrated with him. It's cathartic. Seenkin is ass-handed to him. It very much is. And I always thought, like,

I always remembered, I haven't seen this movie in a long, long time. And I always remembered this sequence being like a huge part of the movie. It's not.

But I thought it was like 20 minutes. I agree. It's barely fine. Again, I grew up with this movie. I would have thought, yeah, this is like the last hour of the movie is this sequence.

It's like exactly like, it's Josette swoops in and there's three minutes left. He punches this lady, beats the shit out of Laruso, and Laruso wins, and the movie is over. He knocks him down and the best line I think of the entire trilogy, live and die, man, live or die. Yeah, dude. I choose death. Absolutely. He would.

Yeah, just fucking do it. Do it. What are you waiting for? Yeah, go ahead and murder it. Honestly, I don't want to give him a ride home But after this whole display, it's just too much I mean, it is great though Because he responds with die

Yes, he wants to die And Laruso's like, wrong honk Tate recorder click A new crime idea Mick Chosen Do ice breaking gambling for me Click Click

new crime idea and that's the movie folks it's a Hong Kong a big smile I think does you get a thumbs up maybe because the first movie ends with like the Miyagi

you know freeze frame I think it is right this is like Miyagi again like looking like good job La Rousseau and it just fades to black like there has to be

a big kiss something here about like the big kiss but then we need this story such as it is needs a little bit of an because you have all of the family stuff. And also, what gets totally

dropped is the part where Yuki, like, Miyagi's like, look, I'm fucking taken off. And she's like, he says, how can I make you feel better or whatever? And she goes, will you take me to America? Yes. And so, like, Miyagi has agreed to take her

to America. And then also, Lu Russo has encouraged Kimiko to also come to America, to pursue her dancing. Well, instead, it's more, I think Laruso is more like, geez, I can't think Elizabeth Schu might take me

back. I just think it could happen, you don't know. I mean, there's just, there's so many more things left hanging here. Because like that first movie is like, he's just got to win the fucking All-Valley. Oh, he did it? Okay, well, that's it. That's the movie. But this, there's just

so much more left and it's like, uh-uh, fade to black. Not going to address any of that. You guys catch the greatest part of the credits which is right at the beginning. No. Before like any other parts of the scroll happens

you just get returning as the Cobra's. Yes. Yes. It just list all the dudes. Like they're a band. It's great. Great. Yes. Oh man. Yeah. Like Steve said, that is indeed

the movie. Would anybody recommend this motion picture? We'll start with you, Steve. I would. I think it's my least favorite. of the three, honestly, even though like probably it's got some emotional impact here. It's a bit slow or it's a lot slow. I prefer by Machios in the All

Valley tournament and I just think that like a lot of the Japanese stuff it just, there's a line when Machio's like, oh geez man, I can't believe 15,000 American GIs died here and Miyagi's got to be like, yeah, and 150,000 Japanese. He's like, well, I guess we're even. It's just like a lot of this movie is

just like bonkers with the politics, et cetera, et cetera. It's a recommend because there's a lot here to chew on, but it's my least favorite of the OG trilogy. Eric Siska. Man, it's a recommend. I do enjoy it, but the blood feud

I think could have been, like you were saying Steve, about the politics of this film. Maybe it's because he fucking went to America and fought for the other side. Yeah, you never know. But it is a recommend for me. I think I like the first one better. I don't know if I would

rate the third one over this, but Terry Silver is excellent. So if you haven't seen that one, check it out. Check out our old episode on part three. I kind of dig that it's a little bit of like a travel log kind of thing. Might have been better if they actually went to Japan instead of Hawaii, but it's

interesting. Hey, again, blame Columbia pictures, man. I do, I blame them every day. So, yes, it is, it's an enthusiastic recommend for me. Chris Cabin. Yeah, I would recommend it. It's, I would say the third one is probably the most entertaining. Like, it's the one that if I'm just enjoying myself, because like, I don't really, I didn't grow up with these movies, so I don't have a special place in my heart for any of them. But yeah, I would say that's the most entertaining. This one, at least though, I see the remnants of what would have been a good movie. Yeah. Like, the, the whole of it is there. Like, the, the first hour is building towards it. But inevitably, it has to be a stupid fucking Daniel LaRousseau movie. So inevitably

at the end when he comes in, it just ruins it a bit for me. But still, I think it's shot pretty well. I like a lot of the stuff with Miyagi. Pat Marita is very good in this. Yeah, I recommend. It's a strong recommend for me

and I have to say, I mean, one, Chris, I'm sort of in your camp, I didn't grow up with these movies. I did see them when I was younger, but not like repeatedly or anything. So I don't have a super strong, like, nostalgia. bent for any of them but for me this time around because we you know I mean so it was like what November of 2019 we were in LA so that's like the last time I watched karate kid like

this one just it played better for me I think one because like the pop culture zeitgeist for this franchise is so heavily rooted in the first movie and I've just always found like some of the obsessiveness over it like a little bit of a turnoff But it's interesting to me that nobody really talks about this movie too too much, especially in the way that they talk about the first one. And for me, again, it is hard to dodge, yes, you're watching a movie called Karate Kid Part 2. So indeed, the titular Karate Kid has to be around. But for me, at least this time around watching this movie, and I have not seen this one in, I could not even tell you. But Pat Marita's performance, man, I was so, so knocked on my ass by it.

It is almost like he's in a different movie. Like, that's how much I felt he did such a great job here. And like, wish he got a nom and a win for this one, man. And in the Oscars the next year. I just thought he was so goddamn good. Yeah, it would have been better if, you know, we got some cultural things more accurate. And if we could indeed shoot in Okinawa, that would be cool.

They did shoot this in Hawaii. I want to say it was on Oahu, if I remember what I was reading right. I think I think it is. Yeah. Is that right? So, you know, it's still like pretty. Hawaii's gorgeous and everything. Yeah, but it is just the ultimate elephant in the room,

which is like Daniel Laruso as a young kid, will ruin anything. I would have not had patience for this child. It makes Mr. Miyagi even more of a hero in my eyes that he didn't murder this kid by the end of the first movie. But yeah, total, total recommend. I feel like I'm fucking vomiting words here. But yeah, total recommend for me as well.

And that is going to do it for the karate kid, part two directed by the late great John Avildsen. If you do want more we hate movies, of course check out patreon.com slash we hate movies and speaking of which we have a very important, very exciting

update about what is going on on the WHM Patreon, Steve Sadek take us away. We're doing it folks. You've asked for it. We've been teasing it for a long time. Melro 2&O is back. It's got its own tier. It is the

the new it's a $10 tier you will get a nexus style show of Melro 2 and O that's once a month you will get a mash up half of an episode of a recap of 902 and O and then a recap of Melrose place but that's not all you get the $8

tier was bursting anything else we put on Patreon that is new will go on this $10 tier including if I may tease something oh tease it dude I'm already that is new shows like old like like Mandalorian half hour still stay at the tier commentaries will still stay at the eight dollar tier yeah yes thank you yeah they all those

things stay the same the five dollar tier stays the same all that stuff stays the same but anything new that we put on will be uh on this ten dollar tier including the snider cut i don't even know what it is yet because this thing isn't even out yet but however we decide to review the snider cut if it's a if it's in episodes or if it's one big fucking big old episode i have no idea this four hour monstrosity that is supposedly coming out next month We'll be on our Patreon tier on what we're calling the Walsh, the $10 tier. We've got a lot of other exciting ideas coming up later in the year. The Obi-1 Canobi show, whenever that comes out, that's going to be on that $10 tier.

Recaps there. Yes, we can confirm we will be recapping the Obi-1 show. I've seen a lot of people asking us on social media, like what of this new, you know, landslide of Disney Plus content and so on. We're going to be covering, obviously, it's not going to be all of it, but we will be doing. an all new side show all about the Obi-Wan Kenobi show. Hell yeah. And a lot more other stuff. So just check that out. If you liked Melro 2, I know if you're

just in the Snyder cut, if you're just giving us two more bucks, check out the $10 tier. We'd really appreciate it. Yes, yes. And also, just quickly announce here, because this is February, right? Yeah, it is. I don't even know what time it is anymore. Grimlins, the new batch,

the Grimlins 2, rather, the new batch will be our Patreon exclusive episode of the $5 tier. exactly all sorts of new content for all those tiers to check out we're doing another nexus obviously this month we're doing an animation damnation TBD there yet yeah let's tease out what are we doing on the old gleep glossary that's currently TBD oh all right all fair enough well you know what uh whatever star trek episodes we left off on in

January we'll be doing the next one is coming up in January actually those are also TVD it's a weird They're all happening, but you should take away from this conversation is that we are focused on making Melro the best experience for you on that $10 tier right now. Absolutely. You know, when we launched it over the summer just as like a, you know, quarantine, what are we going to do about this? It was a lot of fun. And, you know, as much as folks say like, oh, this, that, and the other thing you did help me get through whatever, you know, distracted me through whatever. Guess what? It's the same for us that we get to make.

this stuff for you. It is a nice distraction in these still indeed. Currently hard times. Ah, and then, speaking of feeds, back on the free feed as always here in We Hate Movies. Next Tuesday there will indeed be a brand new episode. Steve Sadek, once again, I'm going over to you,

our programming master. What are we talking about next week? P.S. I love you. Oh, God. Here we go. The I'm dead fucking what am I trying to say? Easter egg hunt. movie that she's got to go on here this Hillary

I'm a ghost and I want to marry you I left you a bunch of clues to find out how much you love me I don't think he appears as a ghost in that movie and that really it probably would have taken it over the top it's like you have to do this treasure hunt and I'm a ghost helping you

you're getting warmer so until next week with P.S. I the year. I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Sadak. Eric Siska. Chris Cabin. Take it easy. Thank you.