We Hate Movies - S11: Episode 532 - Mr. Nanny (with Clint Worthington)

Episode Date: February 16, 2021

On this week's episode, the gang welcomes film critic Clint Worthington onto the show to chat about the family-friendly wrassler classic, Mr. Nanny! How hilarious is that opening Hulk Hogan nightmare scene? What dialogue was said in his infamous sex tape? And was that dog getting murdered? PLUS: The return of the VHS Trailer Game! Mr. Nanny stars Terry 'Hulk' Hogan, Sherman Hemsley, David Johansen, Robert Hy Gorman, Madeline Zima, Mother Love, and Austin Pendleton; directed by Michael Gottlieb. Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the program. Do you ever see Hulk Hogan wear a wig you doing this one? It's Mr. Nanny. I'm Andrew Jupin, Stephen Sadek, Eric Siska, Hulk Cabin, and I'm Clint Worthington. And we hate movies. Hello everyone. Welcome to We Hey Movies. Thank you for tuning in. As always, that's right. We are talking Mr. Nanny. 1993 directed by Michael Gottlieb and we are happy to welcome friend of the show Clint Worthington on finally here you are what is going on my friend oh thank you so much for having me on I just ever since you guys has started to do to do this podcast I knew that you needed a fifth white guy so I was very very happy to fill that important role for you

thank you so much finally yeah but yeah I'm doing all right I'm a film critic out of out of Chicago I also famously do the podcast Travolta Cage with Nathan Rabin, who most of you, I believe, have guessed it on, either that or our previous iteration, Nathan Rabin's happy cast, where we go through the filmographies of one Sir John Travolta and one Sir Nicholas Cage in chronological order because we're very fascinated in them as cultural figures and want to figure out like what makes them tick. And at first it was going to be a contest to see who's better. But from episode one, we knew it was Cage. So it's more of an anthropological thing at this point. But on top of that, I also run my own site, the spool. that does film and TV reviews and podcasts. And you can also find my headlines at Consequence of Sound, Vulture, Indie Wire, Nerdist, a whole bunch of places. I'm way too busy. Please tell me to stop. I was going to say, dude, like, just you describing all that shit, I was getting tired.

I'm exhausted right now. So we are here. This is, let's see now, we definitely did, um, suburban commando. Suburban Commando. Suburban Commando, we did that as a live show one time. And we did, what is the other one? No holds barred. Yes. No holds barred.

What are we missing here? Also, Gremlins 2. Oh, sure. That's right. Grimlins 2 should be available on our Patreon. Yes. Very soon. Rocky 3 we've yet to get to. I do want to. Yeah, I mean, like there's that

that three ninjas movie, which may make a mountain. That also might be coming up because we at this point, I haven't done our listener request month poll yet. And that thing was requested. thousand times so we'll see we might be going back to Hulk country we're not sure yet back to back

months of doing Hulk Hogan movies fuck this pandemic I like it how about how about a Hulk cage or something yeah sure sure that'll last that'll last nearly as long no it would have to be like it would be Hulk and James Earl Jones something you know what I mean like you get up cage again

has to be yeah two figures of equal cultural import yes for sure James Earl slash We should say, just because I accidentally said James Earl Jones, we should start this off by saying that Hulk Hogan is a racist. So just want to put that out there. Right, right. What was that again?

Can we let's let's go down memory lane here. I think he was in, it was in his sex tape. He just went on some rant, right? Am I wrong? I made a joke transit, like at the last episode like where this is coming up made a sex tape joke obviously, but now like that dude took down Gawker. He could take down WHF Podcast.com. It is sleep.

Yeah, he's going to get the lawyers back out. Here we go. Big legal allegedly everywhere, but I think that guy's allegedly a huge racist. Well, was it on the sex tape that he was using the N-word or was it someplace else? I don't know. I do not know. Yes, let's please figure out when he said the N-word. When he organisms, he says it.

Because, I mean, that would be a real bummer because that sex tape was one of the greatest lines in American home cinema is when he burps and just goes, ain't too much pork I meant to re-watch it before this but I forgot Dude I was looking for it He got it scrubbed from the internet I think he might have because I couldn't find it

Because I was trying to find out A where this this N-word thing happened Because it was just sort of like Somewhat related to the sex tape I was like is it in the sex tape If so I guess I have to watch it Oops but it's not around Which is a real bummer

I just come back Allegedly we should say Right. For what I remember, the only thing I remember about the sex date, which I have not seen, I'm just reading pieces from Gawker, IP Gawker. I feel like there's one point where he like weeps to whoever his partner is, and then about like how small his penis is. Oh, is that right? Really? I feel like that happened. I could also be very wrong.

Please don't sue me for defamation. Terrence Hogan. Listen. Yeah. You'll get to it on your Hulk Hogan podcast. Yes, exactly. Actually, before we get started, I do want to. and just really hit play really quickly.

Coming soon to theaters. Hey! Hey! It's the VHS trailer game, everybody. America's favorite game show about obsolete materials. We are so excited because this is going to be a guest version. We've got someone on the guest team, Clint Worthington, now the guests have five points thus far. So you can bring the guests up, you know, you can bring the guests over Eric Ciscus, what I guess is. Easily, easily. But, but as, people know. People have come to find

this VHS trailer game that Steve courageously invented so he doesn't have to play in it. All the points go directly to Chris Cabin. There's some weird like dark money thing happening. It's all zeros and then 60 right now, I believe.

Yeah, that's what else. No, I have some points. Yeah, all right. Let me do the roundup here. And we should say this is including the new total from our Terminator Dark Fate show, which if you didn't see it, sorry, it's gone, but we did play

the VHS trailer game on the show. At those points, Steve, you said, counted in game, in season. They do, but you know what? I didn't write them down, so I got to put the back. Oh, son of a bitch bastard. It's very easy for you, Steve. So just take all those points and just give me to Chris

cat. Yeah, whatever the top. So that was, there were three of them, I think. So that's 15 points. No, no, no. We can wrap it up now, actually. No, so first of all, one thing, all, all, so the pre-Dark Fate game, which I will have in the next one, the points are Andrew has 19. Okay. Eric has 11, which isn't bad. Rigged.

And then Chris has 26. And the guests have five. So, Clint, I really do meet it. You could beat Eric here. You could really come up and come over the top on Eric, which would be nice. I will try to honor guests past, so. That's right. And the prize is obviously, obviously, is the winner at the end of the season sometime in August will get to use the We Hate Movies Slush Fund to create a cameo of their choice.

And now Stephen Tobolowski is on the board, ladies and gentlemen. That's rad. Using Tobo would be a cheat, though, man. Because, like, we've had Tobo on the show. You know, we have Tobos contact information. Yeah, but the only way you'll have me on the show now, Andrew, is through my cameo. pay up motherfuck Exactly

You got deep pockets Mark McGrath or nobody That's a good one Actually though What is the Hulk Hogan status on cameo Because that could be something That is a great question We'll have to look into that

Because if I won and he was on there I would just do All right Hulk Hogan You just have to tell everybody That you had too much pork And then Ty Terry managed to do it Without using any racist slurs

Yep, that's going to cost you $20 million, brother. You just got sued. Hulk Hogan does not seem to be on cameo, but Chavon Fallon Hogan is... Oh, nice. Well, that's close. Yeah, Dancer in the Dark Zone. Okay, so the way this works, for Clint,

I'm going to read out a series of clues. The second you think you've got it, you should hit your buzzer there, which is going to be right in front of you and the way it works is there's going to be five clues for each movie, each one descending in order

so the first clues worth five points all the way down when you guess in game you're out for that round so if you guess and get it wrong you can't guess in subsequent clues seems fair? Nope okay so this is off a

1993 VHS tape just to put you in that mindset the first two are coming soon to theaters even so much so a little clue not even a clue but these are real like teaser trailers

they didn't have any footage of these movies yet which is kind of hilarious oh Jesus okay and the third one is a what do you call it there and the third one was a coming soon to do video round one the game master's clue

it is a comedy sequel involving a treasure map that has a one of a kind subtype Eric Cisco City Sickers 2 Curly's Gold Legend of Curly's Gold That's five big points For Eric Sis

Guys see dude Oh wait No but I'm sorry No those goes to me remember Right I'm sorry Eric But you don't get any They all go to me

The cool thing about This trailer is literally just Billy Crystal Jogging with a cow And it's just like Norman we gotta get in shape The new movie's coming Huh

Oh Norman here it comes That sucks It's really something Seat belts, Norman, seatbelts. I mean, that's, both of those are stay tuned, right? I haven't seen either of those in the number ever. Total state tunes. I had a nonsensical crush on the woman who plays his wife in those movies when I was a kid.

She was the lady from the Langalears too. Sorry, Kevin, what are you saying? I just rewashed City Slickers, and it starts out like a fucking Bergman movie. Daniel Stern is getting like divorced. It's fucking nuts. At the grocery store, right? Yes, he fucks, uh, Lisa Simpson. Yeah, yes, he fucks this.

Isn't she knocked up? Like, that's the thing is like she comes in and she's like, Daniel Stern, I'm pregnant. Yep. We should, we should mention that the actress who plays Lisa, voices Lisa Simpson. It's not like, you want to call her. It's not Roger Rabbit.

Yeah, it's not deviant art or, uh, something you see pop up when you try to get porn or something. You'll never believe what Peter Griffin and Lisa Simpson got up to. I would love a lewd drawing of Daniel Stern the Simpsons. Please don't. You know what? Give your personal email. DM that to Eric, please. I mean, how do you even do a porn parody of Bushwhacked? I asked. Me and Eric have been working on work for many years now. It's coming. Quarantine's the perfect time to finish. Exactly. Guy fucks the Simpsons, has a little drink, watches a little Leno, has a cigarette, goes to sleep. Anyway. All right. So, round two. Here we go. Big points for Eric there. You know, I'm going to write this down, so I don't forget.

Hey, good idea. That's actually a theory I should be working on that you're just like not writing down all my big wins. No, there are real, what do you call it there? Clock watchers out there that have a better record than I do. Stop the steel. Thank you. I agree. Round two.

Game Master's Clue. A kids movie that was a previous episode of this program. I think Roger Ebert hated this movie. movie more than we did. Andrew Jupin. North. That is five points for Andrew Jupin. Yeah. See, Eric, it's the week for the losers, my friend. We are catching up. But as you know, those points go to me now. Right. Because you guys don't get to win ever. You are saying the quiet part loud, Kevin. I think what's happening is Chris is just like, you know, he knows all the answers and he's just taking a dive right now to make this game seem believable for when he gets seven.

70 points next week. You've got to build the horse race. It's five dimensional chess. I've been practicing. Alternate theory, Clint Worthington is the cooler of Chris. You get him on here. He just kind of cools him a little bit.

Oh, yeah. Now, that's a nice, a nice theory. I like that. Cool in the hot hand. I will have massive dumps of a trailer knowledge. Here coming soon. Quick question,

Tribune, trivia, because I do all these things that we never get to. Tribune, Tribune, Tribune for North. This is the lone film. appearance of Bryn Hartman the wife and murderer of Phil Hartman I don't think we got to that on the episode I actually didn't know that

I think we didn't cut it out That's well Well cut it again entirely entirely possible Yeah Who does she play a serial killer? I didn't look it up but I'm sure she just plays a benign woman Gotcha That was her credit I think was a benign woman

Okay the last of these Which is actually I would say The trickiest it's a It's a movie that time forgot. So that's actually in my clue here. So much so that I actually put a little bit of the IMDB synopsis because I was like, what is this movie? Like I'd heard of it.

Wow. But I didn't remember it at all. Okay. Okay. Game Master's Clue. A little kid road trip movie that time forgot. Here's a snippet from the IMDB synopsis. Their plot to run away from home is disguised as a covert operation to get...

Oh, we got Clint Worthington. is it Sam and Max Oh you're so close I cannot give it to you I gotta give it to Chris Cabin who raised his hand Josh and Sam Josh and Sam What in the ever loving fuck is that movie

Because the Sam is like an acronym Right yes yeah yeah yeah it's a robot Yeah He thinks he's a robot I think No what I was reading up is that the kid The older brother Josh is like Sam you're a secret robot You have to go, you have to fight a secret war in Africa, and we have to get to Canada to stop that from happening.

Yikes, the motion picture. Yeah. I've seen this numerous times. I remember, I think I had this on VHS. It sounds kind of familiar to me, too. I probably saw it, like, on cable one point, but. The, the selling point is it's two, like, shitty kids driving a car. Like, they're little, little kids driving a car around the country, kind of a thing.

And that's the VHS covers. They're leaning against the car. starring one Stephen Tobolasky, by the way, in case you're wondering. Which of the kids was he? You got to write the cameo to find out. Uh-oh. The S is Stephen. And then, well, no,

it doesn't, there's no, anyone. Stephen acting machine. Thank you. Stephen acting machine. Look at this cast. She was a student. Martha Plimpton, Tobo, Joan Allen, Chris Penn, uh, Mori Chakin.

Then it kind of peters out. Oh, wait, no, it doesn't. Jake Gyllenhaal. Many games. So that's the VHS trailer game. Thank you all for playing. Five more points for Chris, which kind of almost negates Andrew and Eric's points.

But they still count. Of course they do. Wait, wait, I got five points. Chris got, what, 17 for what he just said? Yes, yes. He just does it better than you, dude. I'm sorry, I got to give him more points. The style counts.

all right well so now unfortunately we do have to talk about Mr. Nanny this movie starts off hilariously with Hulk Hogan like fishing on a pier and it kind of I don't know it really sets the mood for what this movie is right falls asleep while fishing I think because he had a big pork and sex luncheon yeah like because he's wearing that like obnoxiously large fishing jacket and I imagine all of those pockets are various snacks Hey, I ran out of fruit snacks, brother. The boat from Thunder and Paradise had just run out of gas.

And he was just like, well, I'll wait for it to fill up. Oh, these are just cheese. It's crumbs. Oh, boy. Got this pocket full of pork, just loose pork. I love that he's traumatized by professional wrestling. Oh, my God. Just he's having these flashbacks about getting his fucking ass kicked in the ring. Who did I see here?

Brutus Beefcake is in this scene Brutus Beefcake is Jim the Anvold Ninehart and I believe Kamala Who I believe he's died right They're all dead right I would assume George the Anvil

The George of the Animal Steel Yes Yes No Brutus Beefcake is still alive Chris I'm pretty sure He's a wrestler Great point Yeah I don't know

I wish we knew more about What this match was though Because it is like a six on one And it kind of It must be like Due to the fact that this is supposed to be like a nightmare sequence. Because Hulk Hogan, I think, is wearing his fishing uniform in the ring.

Yeah. Maybe that was his, nope, here comes the fisherman. You get the fish cook. That's a, that's a finisher. They were really going for that, like, raging bowl beginning. You know what I mean? They have to, like, really soak you into the immediacy of the ring. And, well, the best part about it is, like, because the credits are going over this, too.

And whenever a new credit comes up, it frees frames on him, making just another increasingly, like, grotesque face. he's one of the ugliest human beings to ever headline a motion picture and this movie really makes it clear yeah I mean like you you would just hear the announcers saying oh my god oh my god beefcake has fishermen on the hook oh no he ain't throwing him back tonight baby and we should point out that uh that Hulk is credited here as Terry Hulk Hogan absolutely yeah well that was I think is that not the case for all of his motion picture appearances because that's not his real name. No, his real name is like Terry Savalas or something. No, Terry Balea. He wishes, man. He wishes.

Yeah, not to be confused with Telly Savalas, Cabin. He was like Gene Bologna in real life, right? It is also really disheartening in these opening credits to see just how much David Johansson put into this movie. Oh, he put a heart and soul. Performing, like, he is the villain in this. this movie, such as a villain is in this movie, I guess.

And, yeah, just all of the music that he offered up either as himself or Buster Poindexter. I mean, what the hell did he owe Hulk Hogan? I don't understand why he's so involved in this movie. I feel like he had... I think he had to, like, show up at a Royal Rumble at some

point, right? Well, I mean, he was swinging for it at this point, I think, with the acting, right? Because he was in Scrooge, in 88. He was really trying to get somewhere of Car 54, where are you, as what, a year after or before this? Oh, wow. I forgot that he's in that movie. That's that I dare you to watch that movie.

That movie is so excruciatingly bad. I could, I dare you to get through it. I fucking dare you to find it. I don't know where you can get that movie now. It's not, it's not around anymore, huh? No, that one's difficult to find. As I last checked it. Last time I checked. I wonder

why. I wonder if there's something in there. Maybe there's some racism and pork or something. Yeah. I will say this is, I was looking at it. This is the first. time he was credited as Hulk, Terry Hulk Belaia, or Terry Hulk Hogan, rather.

You know, all of his other movies were Hulk Hogan movies at that point. Oh, okay. This is him trying for his Oscar. This is him trying to transition into a more of a star presence, you know? This is like when the rock started going as Dwayne Johnson more.

And actually, yeah. Thunder in Paradise. He was also Terry Hulk Hogan, which is really something. This seems more like a Saturn Award. I don't think he was going that big. I think he was always trying to get around in that area. I will say this also co-stars

one of my favorite actors as a child, Austin Pendleton. Yes. Oh, sure. He's been in everything that's good, it seems. He's great. He's a great actor. He's like a New York theater guy. Played a real fucking creep on a law and order criminal intent one time,

I remember. He steals the show in Michael and Vinny, in my opinion. Like, that sequence with him as the stuttering lawyer is just the funniest thing. Oh, sure. Yeah, I forgot that was him too. Yeah, no, he's totally great. Yeah, he's the dad in this movie who is an

inventor, who's now on like a level of like a Bezosian kind of I started this in my garage and now I'm super rich kind of a thing. But he can't take care of his kids. He can't pay attention to his kids.

No, this lazy widower. Which turns him into psychopaths. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. These kids are Dan Wright awful. Disgusting little shit boy. I didn't write down any of the kids' names, but I wrote down some of their other credits. The boy was in Rookie of the Year and don't tell Mom the babysitter's dead. He played the same, you know, little shit boy through like most of the early 90s. He's the beta friend and rookie.

This performance, this little shit boy is the Marilyn Monroe. It's like, this kid is the little shit boys as Marilyn Monroe is to bomb show. that's what we're talking about. This game is so disgusting and so unlikable. And the girl's right behind him, man. She's a little rotten piece of shit too. She's a strange little glass menagerie child. Damn, I don't have her name in front of me, but she went on to be, she was in the opening scene of Twin Peaks season three being killed by the

box. Madeline Zima. Yeah, and like Zima herself, she kind of peaked in the 90s and we didn't really hear much No, she's in, she's in California Cation, having sex with people. Mostly David DeCovney. Probably, right. And I do actually, I remember her from her singular appearance on, that singular, single appearance on that Perry Mason reboot on HBO. Oh, my God. Yeah. She was in a season of heroes.

Yes. Oh, really? Oh, really? Which I watched the first season of that. It had to be the third because that's what I checked out. It had to be the third. I think she was like, what do you call it? Someone's roommate or something like that.

Well, you know, I never watched Heroes and I thought I was like missing out on this gigantic cultural moment and I'm glad I didn't watch. Not even kind of. Heroes was one of those things where like the first season was the only one that was worth it and then they realized that, oh, this is popular. We have to do this. And then the writers were like, oh, we don't have any ideas. It was supposed to be a limited series.

We don't know what to do anymore. Or they were going to change cast. every season, I think, is what I remember. They were going to, like, do a different set of superheroes, but they were like, no, everyone likes hero from heroes. He's a hero. And, yeah. Better than both the kids, especially the shit boy.

And you're right, this is one of the all-time shit boys. Sherman Helmsley walks in on Hulk before he gets him the job. He was in a different movie, by the way. Yes, I would agree. He knows what he, he knows what this should be. Yes, you're right. Well, Sherman Helmsley, man, he was a fucking pro.

He could spot shit a mile away. He knows what he's doing in this movie. He knew he had to carry all of these scenes. Yeah. Even scenes he wasn't in. You see me eat that soup? That chili there? That's like relaxing.

What is the detail there? Because he reveals to Hulk Hogan that he hasn't eaten food in a week. Yeah. And you're just like, what is this part of this movie right now? And he's like, oh, here you go, brother. Here I have the rest of my hormel chili can. But this movie's got that mean streak of like poverty comedy with Sherman Holmesley. Like not just that, not eating for a week, but also like there's repo men taking his hot plate while he's using it later in the movie.

There's the phone company guy ripping the actual phone out of the wall, which I don't think they do. Well, my question is, and I mean, like, I think it's a fairly good one, which is like, what is the pay structure that Austin Pendleton is paying these guys? Like, is it when the job is done they get paid and nothing? else because like again Sherman Holmesley like you should be able to like make some money off this fucking rich millionaire right theoretically yeah I think the way that he sort of

speaks about the payment through various parts of this film I believe it is a when the job is done you're going to get some money because when the kids turn 18 yes you know once the kids are out the door because he says something about like you know oh well

when's hey hey brother when's the new nanny coming and Austin Pendleton's like, yeah, we're working on that. But in the meantime, we'll just, we'll add more money onto whatever I'm offering you. Ultimately, something like that. Ultimately, what you really need is an assassin to take out David Johansson. Yes, be proactive. This guy's going to be after you.

Or an assassin to kill those kids. Also, that. If you want to. Well, we're wallpapering over, like, the ultimate reason why Hulk Hogan and Sherman Helmsley are involved in this, which is like, who is it? Raymond O'Connor as like the sniveling security guy for Austin

Pendleton is like because I guess Austin Pendleton's like find me a bodyguard for these kids and Frank who's in on it with David Johansen whose character name

I must emphasize is Tommy Thanatos came out of the womb as a super villain but his whole plan is to like lowball them and he's like I need to find like

the worst possible people ever and so he's like he knows that Sherman Helmsley's a piece of shit. So he's like, oh, I'll just throw the money to him. And this is what they explained in like the first scene in that, you know, abandoned warehouse district that every movie climax is in, right next to the shark pit or whatever. When he's like, I try, I'm sorry, I tried.

I didn't know he knew this giant Hulk of a man who will, like, protect these children so you can find this microchip. So it was like the producers or something, like they were trying to make it pretty much. The worst bodyguard firm ever. It's springtime for Hogan, yeah. Why not hire an assassin to be the bodyguard, two birds, one stone. You got it. You're all done.

I think you're totally right. I think it would work. Yeah, yeah. But he had removed, he had outsourced. He had delegated. See, he's a good leader. He delegates to Frank, who deliberately sabotaged it. So this isn't about getting the good.

So you're setting up a scenario where like this is the worst possible person for the job. Oh, he also delegates parenthood onto Hulk Hogan as well. Yes. he doesn't even know he's doing that he doesn't he doesn't realize he's a bad dad he never he never really realizes it he's kind of like

I guess I should like at one point have a scene where I say to my kids good night or something but that's like the most he realizes he sucks I mean I think that there's a scene missing where it's like ever since my wife died I just I can't deal with the kid because like you know he has seen it

fawning over this one who my fan theory this woman faked her death right. That was her way out of the situation. Of course, with those two kids and this fucking weird mad scientist that you're married to, absolutely. Oh my god, my wife died. $100,000 was missing from my safe and then

that truck exploded. She's dead. Like, she is in Mexico enjoying herself. Yeah, she got a girl herself. Yeah, exactly. The bizarre thing about these kids is they still go to public school. That's kind of surprising. And also the weird coincidence that it's the same

grade school that Hulk Hogan went to himself? I think they made it a public school so that it's like oh private school there wouldn't be as bullied or there would be some type of infrastructure in place to prevent that public school oh my god these kids, it's open season on these kids can you believe it? I was rooting for the bullies

hardcore man those bullies kicking the shit out of this kid oh yeah oh the bully that had that amazing mesh shirt that was like a gray shirt like he was ready to go clubbing in Ibitha like right afterwards. Dude was the early 90s man we fucking loved mesh shirts like it was a homemade mesh shirt though because it was like a t-shirt that was cut into mesh yeah if you really look at it it it's like a real like i saw that i saw that on tv but i want to be that but i can't afford it kind of a thing yeah there they're just like that cardboard mesh you get in like like a packed package right yes if it's not bubble wrap or anything else it's like that yeah so yeah hogan i mean yeah hogan takes shroom helmsley's uh advice and shows up to this facility he's attacked we got our first action we first time we hear rough stuff rough stuff he's on a motorcycle obviously i just want to go fishing we got to mention there's a dog being thrown into the ocean in

the background right yep yep this was great i totally forgot that this was this movie i had seen this on the internet a hundred times i thought it was from thunder in paradise and then eric you tweeted it or you texted me or all of us and i was like oh shit no and so i had passed it at that point and I mean when you are watching freight train running cinema like Mr. Nanny you do not rewind so I waited until the movie was over and then I rewound it and then I showed Chelsea and we all had a big

laugh over it. All this bullshit about the fucking ghost in three men and a baby and I don't hear any talk about the dog growing and fucking Mr. Nanny like this is bullshit that was garbage. This actually happened this dog is dead. This dog is dead. That's my question. Is this a

malicious? You can toss a dog dog into the ocean for fun, like, have some fun sparky? Or is this, I am killing my dog? Is that funny? That's what's fun to you? Yeah. Dog tossing? I think it's a real like, and don't come back. Yeah. I mean, if it was it a burlap sack maybe, or maybe the dog was talking to the feds possibly. I don't know. Oh, yeah. Well, it is Miami, dude, in the early 90s. Absolutely. I mean, it doesn't look like a small dog either. It looks like a Labrador. And we're just picking it up and hucking it into the fucking ocean. Again, I say we should have our own Mythbusters type of

show because we should get two dogs and start huck on them and see if it lives after a few, like, we'll see how many hucks it takes. I'm sure that nobody will have a problem with that, Eric. Yeah. I want a Room 237 style documentary

about all the theories about the tossed dog. Yeah. I really want to get to the bottom of it, dude. I would watch that new Rodney Asher documentary as well. That's true. For sure. You try to convince me it has nothing to do with the moon.

You just go ahead and try to convince me. It has nothing to do with the moon. There are clues if you play Mr. Nanny backwards and forwards at the same time. You could start seeing some little parallels there. That's a good point. I kind of want to just blow up the picture. Like who was this guy? Track him down.

You know what I mean? Get a face on that fucker. Absolutely. I mean, 93. he's certainly dead. 93 Miami, possibly Andrew Koonanen, unconfirmed. But Chris, we know the dog is dead. We saw it die on film. Oh, sure. Yeah.

Yeah, they just, they cut right before the fucking gator came out. American crime story, they cut that one seat out where he chucks a dog into the ocean. Now, that implies they would ever cut a scene in that show. and I don't buy that. Good call. Yeah, so Steve, you're right. He takes the job. He reports to Austin Pendleton's office building.

He has a run in with a security guard at the gate here. And of course, you know, the solution here is not like, why don't you give him a call? He's expecting me. It's, I'm going to just start fighting this guy. Yeah. And could we point out the slogan for the company? Did you guys catch this on the letterhead? It's Mason Systems, where today is the tomorrow you dreamed of yesterday.

oh fuck that sucks that's a long and winding road to get to whatever that is that's like a bond movie parody like on Saturday Night Live yeah I mean you can't you can't fit that at the end of a commercial yeah I guess so I just don't like the question is

what does this movie think it is because yeah there's jokes like that and like the weird there is a Bondi part of this right obviously Thanatos reads like an awful bond villain yeah but then we're also doing Mr. Nanny and like you can't do both kind of a thing. I think. This is the problem with any Hulk Hogan movie, you know, where we're

doing like the kid thing is all you want this guy to do is kick ass because he's a fucking wrestler and that's what you're there for. But like in this movie he's got to play up all the kid stuff but they understand that there are people tuning in for the wrestling part of it. So like it just never works out tonally. It just is stupid the whole time. But that's the audience for wrestling.

That's who's going to see this fucking movie, a 40-year-old man, hopefully. I mean, listen, if you like it, it's fine. But, I mean, it's, I feel like this is made for kids, so it was an easy transition trying to do wrestlers to children's films because

that's who knows who these fucking people are. Yeah, for sure. I remember very clearly seeing this movie, dragging my father to see this movie at the age of 10 years old. I bet he wanted to throw you in the fucking river again. That's the thing here is we were watching the movie. We were the only people in the theater

of course. Check out. Yeah. And like this, it was really a turning point for me. So like 30 minutes in, I just look over to my dad. And there's just like nothing. Like he's just clearly escaped to somewhere else. God knows what if you had any drinks or, you know, drugs beforehand to do it. But he was just gone. He wasn't paying attention to whatever was going on. I was like, oh so you don't have to pay attention to movies I guess

was this the movie that woke you up to like maybe movies are bad sometimes I was like wait if my dad doesn't like it maybe I don't like it oh no this is weird I wish I could remember what of those was was for me I remember it from my younger

sister it was the ring two with Naomi Watts we saw some shit but my dad would never I don't think anyone anyone my family would allow us to go see a wrestling motion picture like absolutely not You can rent it. I remember renting this

Urban Commando and No Holds Barred for sure. Mine might have been Chairman of the Board. Oh, yeah. Chairman of the Board, yeah. Great way. Still haven't seen that. Mine was gun fishing, for sure. That I'm positive.

Oh, you know what? Mine actually might have been gone fishing to come to think of it. Because I think there are things about Chairman of the Board that I like, but Gone Fishing is truly terrible. That's like episode seven of We Hate Movement. that was the early days fresh from from box office mojo

here opening weekend for Mr. Nanny almost 1.9 million final gross just under 4.4 million so some of that was you and your dad yeah that was like 15 bucks of

my dad solely my dad's money did that be tenants gross unfortunately maybe I feel like tenant would have benefited from a Hulk Hogan presence Or there was, if I remember correctly there was that Tom Cruise commercial for Mr. Nanny which was we're going back to the movies We're going to see Mr. Nanny This is what cinema is all about, badacious

Woo, we're risking life and death to go see the Nanny We're going back to the movies, Mr. Nanny. Hey, speaking of the nanny, though, dude, another credit from the actress who plays the little daughter in this movie. She was the youngest child on the television program, The Nanny. Wow, all right. Yeah, she's been working. She was also Anthony Edwards' daughter on ER, which I'm slowly going through. She comes in occasionally.

You go in right through that episode by episode, Steve? Yeah, but it's taken us three years because we stopped for months and it's totally fine. It's a really relaxing kind of. Yep. Yep. And be sure. My math teacher's dad was in ER. Wow. Oh, shit. Is he okay now? Yes.

It's been a long road. Getting from here. No, he was like the detective or whatever. There was like some old guy detective. Like Mike Genovese who's like played a lot of like, you know, gangsters and stuff. But he apparently had like a regular role on it. And I remember like my little tiny high.

school in Bushnell, Illinois like downstate. Like that was a red letter day when he came to visit. Oh. Yeah. Hey, it's the detective from ER. What? What? That's not NASCAR.

Hey, tell us what Julianne the market leases like in real life. Come on. Tell us. Come on. So, yeah, so like the Hogan, you know, he he dispatches these security

guards and like the guy who's in on is like well I'll fire him don't worry about it like Oz the penalties no that's exactly what I need is a hulking brute around my children no sense of self-control who hasn't had a good meal in six months

that's what I want yeah what I need is a walking lawsuit who just broke like all the security guards that I employs next getting in here the fact that he is able to assault all those men and then just it's fine like you'd think even they could press charges but I guess the company

swipes it under the rug. Yeah, I think Austin Pendleton just had them murdered and then there's new security guards that came in. Other great detail is when Hulk Hogan's pretending to know what computers are. Oh my God, I love it. Dude, what is this? I know what you're talking about, the line where he's like,

oh yeah, I know that it's the blah, blah, blah, and he just goes with a bunch of, like, tech talk. It sounds like he's reading it from a manual. Yeah. And no, it's a like, Hulk, we're going to do it. I'm just, we're going to put the earpiece and just just say exactly what you hear.

year. We're syllable by syllable. And it'll be hilarious if someone that looks like you knew anything. So just say it'll be funny. Oh, Microchip is actually a silicon based blah, blah, blah, blah. And he goes on and on. And I was like, wow.

Oh, fuck. Okay. Oh, the earpiece is fritzed. Okay. We're going to spray paint it on the floor. And you're just going to read it, okay? Just like kind of look down. When I step on your foot, you say the line about the computer.

Silicon based Come on Dude that scene It must have been like working with David Fincher man There was 35 fucking takes of that A microchip is a Cilicone We take it again

You can't say Cilicone It's silicon No I believe it's silly cones I thought this movie was supposed to be a silly cone Can I just go back to saying I like the nacho cheese kind Killer line by the way Killer line

So we are sort of introduced, yeah, with this computer line to like what the McGuffin of this whole movie is. Austin Pendleton's company is developing some sort of microchip that will go in the, a peacekeeper guidance system that is able to like shoot missiles out of the sky, which is an interesting thing for this movie because like it was 1993. We weren't like really dealing with like hot button missile things in that way though, like intercontinental missile blasts. You got to be ready, though, Andrew. The kids were really worried about, like, Bosnia. We were. Yeah, we were. Well, and it's, we, we see it sort of personified in this, like, goofy model that looks like a Buck Rogers rocket.

Yes. This is a great moment. Yeah, yeah. And he, like, takes it. And they do the classic thing of, like, oh, we're just going to continue with the tour. And the person they're talking to just stays there for an entire as a minute. And that whole thing, that lingering in that room is just, I guess it's probably a minute, but it feels like 10 that he's just not going on the tour with them. He's just playing in the room. And again, like, I guess it's supposed to show, because he's two, the two character traits he has theoretically character traits. One that he's clumsy. And two, I guess he's a big kid at heart. I mean, like, you, you shouldn't play space. There's like a non-zero amount of Williams.

Abka and Cobra Kai with this guy. And a big enormous dumbass, like just lumbering around and like, yes, he's strong. But like, I got to tell you, I, it always shocks me seeing him in this at this time because I'm like, this was masculinity. This was man. And just looking at this haircut and I just can't piece it together. It's amazing that they let him walk around like this, really. like you know what it's stunning what for the long the long skullet the long skull I think he's making it his own dude I think he's rocking it

I think he's looking good I clearly did still he's still rocking it to this day like Hulk Hogan I think is he must hold a Guinness record for like the human being who has had a full on fucking skullet the longest yeah I feel like he just wanted to be a Ferengi who had the end of they always had those like weird things on the back of their head like that connected their ears, which that was always weird. But yeah, no, it's one of those, it's that ultimate testament to like what happens when a man

goes bald but refuses to admit it. So he's like, what hair I've got, I'm growing out. I don't care how long it gets. That just means I'm less bald. A dignified Patrick Stewart would look fine. I don't think I want to see him fully bald because then it's like, dude, that's the world's biggest

Nazi. And I'm really afraid of it. But Patrick Stewart with a Hulk Hogan cut with a skullet, Captain Picard's skullet, you'd watch that. Oh, sure. Sure. But yeah, you're totally right, though, Steve. I see that walking around. I'm like, oh, that guy definitely uses the N-word. There's no doubt about it. I mean, in sex tapes and out. Him with this haircut, it just, he looks like an extra from like a Shira cartoon. And I'm like, like, at this point, that's not acceptable. But at the time, it was. Yeah. Right. It's like he-man on leukemia treatments or something. It's a bad looking. It's a bad looking thing.

The handlebar mustache is good though It offers symmetry symmetry for the skullet Because they both have similar shapes It's true It's nice like clean lines You know I never notice how fully balanced he is

Yeah I'm a big fan of the horseshoe shape Brother anywhere I can get it Put it on my body My horseshoe pubes The fat hair is Oh no You can horseshoe some pubs for sure You definitely could dude

And then if you're smart about it You let the bottom part just grow out. You know what I mean? So it's like you've got some real cool looking pubs. I also like my Johnson out, brother. So now it looks like a horseshoe. If you grow them out long enough, you don't need pants anymore. Yeah, I really love cousin it from the Adams family. I'm taking a note from that guy. If cousin it was a skirt with the horseshoes like, you know, when he inevitably fails to make a woman orgasm, he's like, huh, well, they say close on the cats and horseshoes and hand to grenades, I'm going to sleep. sleep. Thanks for not coming.

Oh, you're complaining, huh? Okay. Well, I guess that makes me the horseshoe and you the crab. Oh, man. Mr. Nanny. Yeah. Yeah. So, you know, Austin Pendleton's like, all right, well, let's go like meet my fucking rotten devil children. We go to this, you know, the house here. We learn. it's like the Beverly Hillbillies house. It does look like the Beverly Hillbilley's house from the movie specifically. I wonder if it was the same

house maybe. That's probably a stay tuned gentlemen. I have to put that out there. Speaking of which RIP Chloris Leachman. Oh, right. Yeah, she was grainy in the movie. Yeah. I'm pretty sure. Take it easy wherever you are. And RIP, Jim Barney. I mean,

RIP, maybe that whole cast. I don't know. No, Diedrich Bader's still around. At the time of this recording. Eric Eleniac. Yeah, Erica Laniac, yeah. Yeah, so he gets there and there's a nanny. And I mean, like, it's one thing if they're like pranks or whatever is to their nannies.

They're trying to kill people. This is attempted murder. Yeah, every time. Because she comes out, her hair is literally on fire. She jumps into an enormous fountain they have in their driveway. And she quits. And it's like, oh, no. Now the agency won't send us anybody else.

like, yeah, because your kids should be in jail. Also, does she say that she quits, or do we just assume that she quits? What if she's, like, really resilient? And she's like, she was expecting to come back the next day. And they were like, you're good. Sorry, I ran out yesterday. I was on fire.

Please, I really need this job. My children are starving. Hey, Hulk Hogan's character would be totally for that, though, because he specifically says to Austin Pendleton, when Pendleton reveals the news like, oh, you're not my bodyguard, like, you're protecting my kids. And he's like, hey, brother. I fucking hate kids, man.

I love pork and I fucking hate kids. I kill kids for many years for money. The kids are white, right? You got white kids, right? You know this guy smells like rotten fish because he sleeps in an abandoned shack off the wharf. That's all he does. Just reeks of denim and patchouly.

You want this guy anywhere near your children? I don't. that's what you call a fucking rassler retirement plan dude living in a shack fishing off a pier eating food out of a can much like the ugly uh tramp from uh dick tracy he's taking kids into his uh employ oh yes of course who plays that character cabin oh god it's somebody big i just rewatched it and by the way totally mind-blowing movie incredible um i don't remember um but yes but hogan's whole stipulation is like all right i'll be their bodyguard long as they have a nanny and you better not be trying to get a movie story out of this brother

so they better not warm my heart so this lady comes out running out and like i start understanding i don't even think that austin pendleton's making that much money the reason this house is this big is because he has to have half of it be a legal department yeah because he's got it it turns out that the kid the the nanny before this had her legs broken both of them uh kapolski somebody else got like run over or something this sounds like a good childhood this is all the type of shit i wanted to do as a kid that i was never allowed to you know no eric you can't murder the nanny well let me at least break some legs see see but now they don't have a nanny but they do have a mammy in the form of like mother love who's trying her best to like inject some life into

these scenes mother love is a highlight of this movie man she's great in it. It's too bad she has to play the maid. I love that introduction of like Hulk Hogan is like fingering this pie she made. Oh my God. Is it a pork pie? Is it or is he to go for the American pie? Is he going to start fucking right there? Because he's

like getting right in the center of seeing how nice and warm it is. And then the hatchet comes down hatchet. I mean, Cleaver but. Well Hulk, I mean, Hulk clearly walked so Jim from American Pie could run. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. He's a minute from fisting this pie. before she almost kills him for trying to eat it.

That would have been awesome, dude, if she just fucking accidentally cut his hand off. And if there'd been a sex tape of Hulk Hogan with the pie, Gawker would have died in the crib. Hey, brother, me fucking bake goods is nobody's business but mine in the pies. It would be cool if his hand was cut off. And then throughout all these misadventures with the children. He like starts becoming like half metal or something,

becomes part of the rocket experiment. Just Tetsuo the Iron Man, but Hulk Hogan. Oh, brother, I fucked pies and I got caught by my dad, but I'll tell you one thing. I wish my dad was Eugene Levy, that Eugene Levy would listen to you. My dad did, my dad did not. Wait a minute. Eugene Levy, you're telling me he's a what? Oh, never mind.

Canadian? Yeah, Canadian. It is. Your point, Clint, is well made only in, mostly in the scene when she's dressed like a maid in one, like, in one scene, in the dinner scene, I'm like, who are you putting on airs for? It's fucking Hulk Hogan. It's so stupid. She's dressed in like civilian wear the entire movie, but then like in this one scene, she's like serving them dinner. She's dressed like she's gone with the wind. She is, and it's uncomfortable. And that scene also, I'm going to bring this up again, because like the chili, we weren't, it looks. It looks. looks more like red beans and red sauce than actual chili.

And whatever she is ladling into his bowl or he's ladling into the bowl. That's not mashed potatoes. Yeah. That's way too wet to be mashed potatoes. I think that might be the cheap like boxed kind. You just add water. Like flakes.

In Austin Pendleton's hungry jack flakes, that should be against the law. In Austin Pendleton's Super Mansion, no, no, no, no. That looked like a big bowl of like risotto or something that Hulk was going to shove it is going. In the movie, it's a mansion. The reality, it's a shitty house

in Florida, and they're just making a shitty cheap movie. Gotcha. With a full-ass gym like for a dozen people. The gym is really bizarre because you have two children who cannot lift weights and should not lift weights. And Austin Pendleton, who's never

lifted a weight in his life. And this enormous, we should say obviously the kids are awful. The first they keep tripping him is the idea that's that's in the first day. He gets a bowling ball to the face. Yes. He fucking falls down the stairs in what would definitely be a neck

breaking incident. He would be dead by now. The bowling ball, like Clint mentioned, alone. Yeah. The, and then that's the most homaloney bit is the bowling ball for sure. That's like Daniel Stern level shit. Hey, brother, are we going to get sued over this gag or what? I love watching

because I mean, like Hulk Hogan, you know, obviously as a guy that knows how to take a fall, that's literally the one thing he knows how to do, is him falling down these steps made me cackle. Like, it's a real, like, it's just, like, kind of the joy of watching someone fall down the stairs by accident. It was convincing. I enjoyed it. He is his generation's Charlie Chaplin. I agree with you. He just fall through the stairs. Like, the stairs can't withstand 300 pounds coming at, like the velocity that he's at. He would go through them.

There's also a lot of good Foley work because he falls down the stairs multiple times in this movie. And one of the times is, like, you don't even see it. The family's just having dinner. And they're like, oh, you know, where's Hulk Hogan? And it's like, and he falls down the stairs. And the little fucking shitty girl is just like, oh, I think maybe he's running late or something like that. When after the bowling ball, he gets hit by water. And before he goes down for dinner, I really have to point this out.

The shit boy. The shit boy says, come on down Suey Soie! Now that means that means that this kid

has seen deliverance Yep And that means that this kid needs to be put away Well here's the thing They keep setting all these traps For Hulk Hogan

And the various nannies Were they never worried That their own father Would succumb to these And he's made of paper mache He will collapse He would go right up I think that he knows

Like where the traps Always are And he's like you kids again with your little jokes you're dinner again aren't you I mean he's like dried leaves though if you fucking get him near a flame and he's going right up yeah yeah

he's going up he's like Tinder like human Tinder not to be confused with the application that I which is also know anything about but no one of the things about the like these kids doing these crazy borderline murderous stunts is how blatant

it like you it becomes comes clear halfway through the movie that these are all murderous attempts at their father's attention they are so desperate to get him even just mad at them and he's like no it's fine i'm a 90s yuppie parent everything's great participation trophies and so this is a really like reactionary kind of movie right because like the whole thing that turns them around is holkoogne being like we're going to instill some authority in you kids it's the kindergarten cop thing where it's like kids crave discipline you lack discipline and they love them for it yeah they want dream dads come on Or dream dads.

Yeah, it is weird, like, the underlying message. Because, yeah, at one point, they're like, are you going to get mad at us, dad? And he's like, well, no, nothing's really. Oh, it's when it's the gym, which is coming up next anyway. It's Hulk Hogan goes to use their gym. And they're like, little kids are a shitty little inventor, I guess. Like, not only is a prankster. He's like a little inventor.

He's inventing like toilet cams or something, right? Yes, absolutely. I think you're totally right. This guy, like, if this guy. character lived into the modern time. He's going down for something, dude. And I think toilet cams is right on. I mean, I think you would have to get the time cops involved because whatever this guy's got coming up in his, in 20s and 30s is bad news. Do you see the book he's reading at that one point? Oh, like unpopular weapons from insurrections or something like

there? From the Inquisition. That's what it is. Yeah. Studying the weaponry of the Inquisition. Get him away. Is that so bad? and now when is the appropriate age to watch deliverance as well? Because I think I saw it about this kid's age. Oh yeah. And that explains everything. Yeah. And how many watch lists are you on now? I remember. I don't think

I saw that like college deliverance. Oh, I definitely saw it maybe middle school. Yeah, man. You if I figured stuff out. That was eye opening for you. Yeah. Oh, my. So yeah, he's going to work out. The kid in some sort of a magnety thing

that's going to make the weights go the way he wants them to go and the girl I just I don't like the girl is like it's like Leopold and Loeb the two of them it's very creepy because she's like very like she's just like he's got a bad idea and then she makes it worse

and it's like it creeps me out so much I don't know it bothers me to watch these two it's disgusting and yeah so they like make his like he's doing the first they're like oh get on this elliptical machine yeah and do a little of that He gets, like, locked into it and they make it, like, go really fast and it explodes. Well, the elliptical machine, I must point out, has, like, specific settings for how intense the workout is.

Because as it goes faster, goes from, like, hard to very hard or something. And then the final one is coronary. Old brother had a heart attack. That's it. That's it. There's my lip ventricle exploding, brother. Worked off too much pork. here comes the Reaper off the top rope for old Hogan

my favorite thing about this is so the shit boy is explaining the bike to Hulk Hogan and like just like Hulk Hogan's like what is this piece of shit and like the kid is just like it's the 90s and that's the explanation by the way his his thing was what is this crud and I just liked the expression

What is this crud? By the way, he also says in response to seeing the exercise machine. Yeah, he says, what is this crud? And then he says it's the 90s. By the way, he also, he goes to school with them in a brief scene, which is great because he's kind of like Billy Madison in this because he's sitting in the classroom. Like, why are you even doing this? That's a great question.

Dude, I have the same note. I was like, why does he have to sit at a desk? And whose desk did he take? And he does it for one afternoon and never does it again. I think he just got lost. I don't think he knows what to do. I don't think Austin Pendleton really gave him any directions other than be around them, please. Well, that's true.

I mean, because he's a wrestler. As he says, he's a wrestler. He is not a bodyguard. I will say that at least Austin Pendleton was like, look, if you got to save one of them, save the girl. When you go to school, go to her class, leave. You know what? The kid's too far gone. I think the girl could be saved, honestly.

I think, yeah, he is fully accepted that his son. son is going to grow up to cut dude's heads off, drill holes in them, and fuck those drilled holes. He knows he's going to need to use his space laser on his own son when he grows up. Better not be a Jewish space laser, brother. But the extent to like which the daughter is complicit in all this is always very confusing to me because at times she seems like the innocent one, but also she takes just as much glee in his pain.

But she never comes up with any of the plans. She just goes along with it. Because she's the shitster, which makes her almost worse. The son is totally fucked up. But she is the shitster that totally, you know, pushes him further and further and further. And she aims him like a weapon. Yeah.

Yeah, but shit boy eventually is going to turn into jigsaw. Like, down the road, all this, the weaponry stop. You were a wrestler once. And then you didn't wrestle well. And then you abandoned your good friend. So now you're going to get on this exercise bike and go really fast. Where your legs explode? We'll see.

you've been working on the jigsaw voice Chris, that's good. Oh, wow, dude. Way to go singing the theme from Saw. I got them all. I'll take requests. I love that the principal, because the little girl gets sent to the principal with Hulk Hogan,

and then the principal comes out, and Hulk Hogan has let her know, like he has gone to this school, and the principal comes out and somehow recognizes him. Like, his reputation is so fucking badass. he's like, whoa, is this Sean King of Detention, Armstrong? And he graduated in 1964, yes. After seven years.

That any, he's a doctor now. Yeah. But anyone would know. Dr. Hogan, yeah. How many detentions you had or whatever. Like, they don't keep those records after 1968. Absolutely not. I mean, and they are just.

This movie takes place in the universe where this is going on your permanent record actually happens. That's true. It's the same universe in where professional wrestling is real, which we'll talk about at the end of the movie. And all, of course, all educators here are like total, like, the teacher is like, oh my God, get out of the class. You're disrupting class. And then Gilbert Godfrey. Yeah, essentially. And then like fat, and then the fat hamster principle is like telling him that like, like, they just like belittle every educational person. I'm sorry, it just bucks me. I love, so you think that there was, like, in the, in the sides that the actors got me, want a fat hamster principle. In brackets, fat hamster type.

It was the same note that the, that Joe Dante gave to the casting department for Gremlins too, man, when he cast those twin scientists, he's like, I need twins that also look like fat gerbils. And those guys got cast in that movie. And then they got cast in Terminator, too. Yes, totally. Yeah, it's much kinder than a Louis Anderson type. yeah that's true not to be an asshole but if i got a hamsel look like louis and i'd throw it in the garbage it's real that rich kid from peewe's big adventure energy i would list it on ebay steve

yes and i'm put in a fucking box and just let's hope it survives well priority usps during these entire during all of these scenes Hulk Hogan has like millions of gigajoules of electricity coursing through his veins because like one of the last things they do in the gym thing is he decides to take a shower with the world's tiniest towel. The towels really look a lot. It's kind of hot. It's hanging on by a thread.

It is, but it's a kid's movie. I guess it's a little something for the mom. Possibly. Why not? Show us a little Hogan thigh. You know, I didn't look at my dad at that moment, but he might have liked that. It's something.

I'll give this movie that. It's something. Yeah. I mean, we've been having a lot of fun with Hulk Hogan and Scullet aside he's in great shape in this movie still it's 1993 I think he was

he must have been out of WWF by this point Steve right was he in WCW I don't remember it may have been the this is pre NWO yes oh definitely pre NWO but maybe like the waning days of him being in the WWF or something but he's still in great shape in this movie

not that he gets to show it off that much so I guess in this shower scene. I was like well at least you get to see some rassler bod because even when he's wrestling in that flashback it's just wearing the fishing outfit. In 93 he went to WCW so there you go. Oh okay. So yeah when they're making

this movie he's probably still in WWF. I still think he is in the top three wrestling actors though. I think it goes but Tista the Rock Colgan. Well, Sina too. Like he's the most commanding about quality of actors right? Not like prolific.

career because that's Dwayne Johnson hands down. I'm talking about quality. Yeah, that's true. I mean, like, he's a better, he's a better actor than Stone Cold Steve Austin, for sure. Is Hulk Hogan? Okay, here's one, because he's been, he was in some stellar movies, man. Was he, uh, is Hulk Hogan a better actor than

was Routy, Roddy Piper? No, I guess that's a good question. He beats him. Yeah. So yeah, I guess that knocks him out of the third. So yeah, Hogan's four. They live alone, I think, kicks, uh, I think, yeah, totally. But yeah, they do try to give him the chair in the shower scene because he's fucking electrocuted.

And like, it is a crazy thing where the kid says something, like the sun is like, oh, well, it's not that bad. It's just going to stun him or something. And then the little shister girl is like, why don't you turn it up? Exactly. It's like it won't kill. Then crank it up. I want to see him die. I need to lock eyes with him as the light goes out of his eyes.

Well, you know, they probably have. have completely murdered people and this father's just like okay we'll just say it was a rocket accident and burns them up right I mean they all signed an NDA I mean best case scenario is this kid

is turning into the toy maker from Munich that's like upon the positive side of where this is going I do yeah because the main mother love has a list and he's like oh that's not so many people on that their list their brother and then she like

unfurals it and it's like hundreds of people at least 10 of them are dead or died of their injuries at the hospital kind of a day. You're totally right. I mean, you got to play the numbers in this situation. Like, they have killed nannies. Yeah. I think it's a real Batman situation where it's like, technically

they didn't kill him. Yes. They basically died. Yeah, we never see the backyard where Austin Pendleton has the mass grave where all the nannies have been buried. Put her in the hole. Put another one in the hole. Well, that's a guy. Okay, 293. slash here okay right right and there's also like you know after after one of those latest exploits i think in the gym that's when austin pendleton is like oh no i'm not going to punish them and they're

very upset yeah yes and and hulk ogan like says well if you don't care about your fucking kids get rid of them dude this is it's the absolute best line in the movie i wrote the whole thing down he goes i feel sorry you lost your wife man but if you can't give these kids what they need get rid of them yeah i got a fucking I got a pillowcase here, brother. We'll go down to the river. Oh, look, are you looking for an assassin? Because I could get you in touch with an assassin,

and he could take care of these kids real quick. But even better than that monologue is, like, what happens right after? Because then, I think the girl says dejectedly, I guess he doesn't really care about us. You've done legally actionable things to murder him. And you were upset that you haven't earned his love. That's true.

That's right. Around here is we cut back to David Johans. as Thanos here and this this motherfucker's got a lot going on he's got a big stupid metal plate over the entire top of his head which also then creates like an artificial skullet so we got two skullets in this movie we're not so different you and I I was I say quick question do you think the Avengers that those two beautiful movies would make less billions of dollars if David Johansson did the voice in mocap for Thanos or more billion more more millions more of all of the millions

I think would be a better movie because David Johansson would recognize that it's a cartoon Yeah Listen I got to record it in the galaxy Oh man But also But here's the thing

Like they're not done with Hulk Hogan yet though Because they still have yet to pull out their final trick The Pit of Blood Oh boy Oh man Which is so beyond the pale that even the daughter's like I don't know Like even though it's like probably

on the scale of murderiness of all those things, it's relatively innocuous. And they say it's blood. I mean, they say it's red dye, right? But I think it's nanny blood. I think this is long. It's definitely nanny. There's there's visceral that he climbs through when he falls in. Yeah, what's the shit?

You're totally right, Eric. They're draining these women. Don't know, you got to hang her upside down. She's not going to drink. Get the neck drains faster than the legs. Come on. Get a bucket. it's disgusting and I hate that they have

like a team of seasoned grifters they've got like the nicknames for all of these things and they're like the two kids they decide like all right we're gonna stop fucking with Hulk Hogan but first the pit of blood and then the girl's like oh the pit of blood like they're talking about how they're gonna like you know like slang that someone would use

when they're gonna run a grift on somebody you tried to crush him like a day ago like to death yeah like this is nothing but now they're gonna play the hits you know they've done the pit of blood before to much acclaim so because she's like if uh if the pit of blood doesn't work we're gonna do the turkey drop on him see if that can stake you know the tennessee 10 step yeah is it hot sauce what is it like it's just red dye and some seaweed right red red dye yeah red dye that's oh painful as hell but i think it's for their pool cleaner yes because

the girls like we're we're falling in love with him we can't do it if he survives the pit of blood then we'll let him we'll let him live kind of a thing it's just this we'll call a truce i think he says it's actually ghoulish and then like of course that's hulk's last straw even after i think it's the little girl who says all nannies are bad which i was like oh man anab uh and so that's that's when he's like finally i've had it up with you kids with you fucking kids i'm gonna teach you some manners and luckily he doesn't beat them but he just scares the you know living daylights out of him Him screaming at these kids is the best part. He's screaming.

Screaming at these kids. It's amazing. This is after, I don't want to lose it, though. Great prop department movie here, a moment here, rather. Right before he falls in the pool, he's in the kitchen making like this hilarious Garfield sandwich. Oh, my God, this sandwich. I just love that his time off is spent making gigantic sandwiches. Dude, cartoon sandwiches. It's amazing.

Mother love. gives him the shit again right here for like making the kitchen a mess and then I think the thing that they call him to the pool for is they're like oh my god I'm drowning it's crazy she hits him in the head with a frying pan and I oh yeah like maybe this is where these kids are getting getting it from a little bit there is a great bit of like kind of prop comedy here with mother love doing this because she gets a a frying pan off the rack and she turns and looks at Hulk Hogan and then she looks back at the pan and she's like, nope, and puts it back and gets a bigger one? That is, that is good.

So, you know, Hogan right here is like, going to give these kids a little bit of an attitude adjustment, brother, you know, and he makes them just like sit in the dark. Another thing that, like, if you asked a serial killer, you know, in their formative years, what was something that happened to you that really turned you to what you are? It's like, well, the babysitter at one point made me sit in the dark for six hours. Yeah. that would do it. That's the closest way you can get in touch with the devil.

You know, you've got to sit still for like six hours in the darkness and then you start hearing those voice so I'm told. We have anything that accelerates your sociopathy. Yeah. Yeah, I would think so. And I mean, so we keep on cutting back to Theranos, right? And he is like fishing in milk and like rubbing his metal head

against like electrical things to relieve the pressure. I didn't get this whole thing. sexual I think it's a fetish object it's also it gives him super strength kind of like he can use the chrome dome as a weapon yeah it's very and yet it's right next to his brain

him like scratching the the the plate is very Texas chainsaw masker too right yeah absolutely dude it's Bill Mosley's fucking scratching it with the hot chainsaw masker references maybe that was one for the adults the adult wrestling fans that also

definitely were the horror hounds loving TCM 2 at the time. TCM and deliverance. Two kids classics. Absolutely. I do love, so he decides like Hulk Hogan is like talking in the little girl at one point. This is a ridiculous scene. But the girl's talking. Dream Dad. Which begins, she's, I'm in my bed about to sleep as we watch her being in bed and about to sleep. Well, you know, the audiences for movies like

this, Clint, you need to get it as on the nose as possible. I think. David Johansen wasn't exactly Leonard Cohen. These are pretty simple lyrics as they go. Similar sounding voices, very different lyrics. Yeah. Yeah. So she's like, oh, I'm having

trouble sleeping. You know, I haven't oh, he goes, well, just do what you did last night. And she's like, well, I didn't sleep then either. And he's like, well, this sounds like a problem. And you know, he starts talking to her. And she's like, yeah, you know, I haven't really slept well since my mom died

And he goes, and, you know, my mom died and went to heaven. He goes, I lost my dad when I was a kid, but I don't think he went to heaven. What? You can't do that. Yes. Yes, you can. Yeah, after what he did to those girls, I don't think St. Peter's going to let him through. I'll leave it at that, though.

Oh, okay. I've heard of, you know, I've worked with a lot of wrestlers, and I know a lot about meth. And if you're staying up, you can't go to sleep. That sounds like a real problem. we're going to leave in dream dad these are called downer sweetheart let me just cut it into force because these are this is a Hogan downer

that would put you down for life you're about what 70 pounds all right let me get you down to an eighth of this yeah you're probably eighth of a horse right this year pills for horses elephants and professional wrestlers only this is what my mother used to do I'm going to put a little bit of Jack Daniels on my finger here

and I'm just going to rub it around your gums. I, but again, Austin Pendleton, like, you know, doesn't catch him, but he sees him in there. And he's like, oh, you're helping your sleep. I would be like, hey, Hogan, just a quick, you know, you can bodyguard her from right out here, dude. This is like, especially when it's bedtime, you can do all the bodyguarding you need at this doorstep. That's where the bodyguarding ends. Well, isn't there a moment when he has to, like, kiss the bunny? And there's a, he talks about it later with Austin Pendleton.

And there is a moment when, like, Austin Pendleton thinks that Hulk Hogan kissed his daughter. Yes. Wait, you kissed what? Oh, the bunny. God, sure. The bunny. He calls up. I need the largest SWAT team you have.

No, that's too big. You know, I changed my mind. Get the assassins. They got a new one. They got a new target. So Austin Pendleton's got like some business trip. He's got to go on. And Limo comes to pick him up and he's with his crooked.

assistant that he doesn't know is crooked. And then driving the limo is Wolfgang, who is working with David Johansson. Awesome bit of comedy. I will say with a capital A awesome. Really? The is the card gag. I think it's all sold by Austin Pendleton because the assistant has been subsequently, you don't have to talk about it. He got hurt by David Johanson. He's got punched in the face by his big hulking dude so that he can't talk anymore. His jaws wired

shut and he keeps giving cards for everything the guy's going to say and Pendleton sells it I will say I like that bit I like the bit and like the gurgling that he tries to do like through the braces and stuff no that like that's a solid gag there's a joke he's like oh you thought of everything it's a solid gag

we're talking with diamonds and not even diamonds and shit like less shit and shit I guess yeah yeah the only big laugh I got was from the flashback when we see Johansen and the Phil Specterwig that was my big one that got me a big one

first you defy me then you mock my hair I think when Sherman Helmsley is telling the kid all like you could get brass knuckles a little blackjack one smack of this his brains are all over the place and then how about some mace in the face or the lead pipe and I thought that was the best scene of the movie

dude actually yeah Sherman Helmsley pulling the pipe out of his pants is kind of great like the Joker in 1989 yeah oh right that's totally the move. But often he gets kidnapped essentially because he gets kidnapped and it's like oh well

you know he's saying to the guy like you know you can't be working for this guy because once he's through with you you know he's just going to throw you away and this fucking limo driver pulls in a downright injection seat joke in this movie and it's kind of great this was a legitimate

laugh because it is clearly a fucking dummy shooting out of this thing and falling into the street I'm not sure. Yeah, he gets kidnapped. I'm not even sure if that was a full dummy. That's a sack of flour. Yeah, yeah. Well, one thing we have wallpapered over is, is the fact that Thanatos knows Hulk Hogan and Sherman Helmsley. Like, this is, so this isn't, like, unrelated anymore either. Like, this is suddenly an old grudge. Well, yeah, it's, it happens right here. He's a sporting promoter turned evil genius that steals microchips?

Yes. This happens right where we are now, because while, Austin Pendleton is away you know he says to Hulk Hogan like look there's so you know crazy threats going on you better beef up security while I'm gone on this business trip so the beefed up security is Sherman Helmsley coming to help out and they tell

the story because Helmsley has said earlier in the film the way that he sort of coaxes Hulk Hogan to take the job is like hey man remember that time I saved your life and it turns out that fucking Sherman Hemsley took a bullet for Hulk Hogan and you get this flashback scene where yes in this world professional

wrestling is real. Hulk Hogan won some match and they're like splitting the winnings and everything. And yeah, just Sanatos runs in and he's like, I thought I told you to throw this match. Well, yeah, he looks like Phil Spector. Rest and piss, that guy.

Rest and piss. I do love, I was curious, but this is weird of the line. They're like, oh, yeah, actually. We, he tried to have a fix a less than a prestigious sporting event and then they're like Super Bowl and they keep guessing. Nope, nope. And I'm wondering if this is like, did Vince McMahon say you can't say

WrestleMania? Is that what? Like, is that where we're going? Like, I bet. Or actually, I don't remember the year for this, Steve. Is this, is this some sly reference to the Montreal screw job? Oh, God. Why year did that happen? I'm vaguely aware of what that is. That was when Vince McMahon fucked over Brett the hitman heart. Yes. And like the script was supposed to go one way in Brett Hart's favor. And then from my understanding and weed clouded memory

of wrestling history, they changed it and didn't tell Brett Hart and he fucking lost whatever it was. And it has gone down as the Montreal screw job. I could look that up. Yeah, I don't remember the year of it. But so yeah, it's this whole thing about it. Johansson wanted them to throw the fight.

1997, by the way. Oh, okay. So definitely before it. So it's not a reference to it. But the greatest thing though and this is what I said in the show's intro this because it's a flashback they give Hogan this like top of the head only piece. Holy shit this thing looks terrible. Leave the American public know that he's

looked like this since 1978. You know what I mean? He came out of the womb with the skullet. Eighty-one like his Rocky 3 like it's been a while it's been a very long and storied years for this skullet. But so Johansen whips out a piece and

fires at Hulk Hogan I think for like mouthing off and and not throwing the fight. I love this line that he has like first you defy me and then you lock my hair yes. That's when he starts shooting. Prepare to die. Yeah. And then the way that Sherman Hemsley like

screams and throws himself in front of Hulk Hogan is amazing. He was not prepared to have to do an assassination attempt in this movie. I would say it's harder to hit Sherman Hemsley on Hulk Hogan than it is to just hit Hulk Hogan. I'm thinking about the bulletin

The math. Yes, exactly. It's like, oh, no, let me just put, I'm trying to hit this barn. Let me put this tiny, a fig leaf in front of it. You know what I mean? It's still going to hit the barn, dude. It's like a fly landing on a dog, and you tried to assassinate the dog, and you only shot the fly. So you only throw the fly into the lake. Right. So after that happens, so Hulk Hogan chases after David Johansson running up to the roof. Like, David Johansson hurls this, like, cop. out of the way and as

Hulk Cogan is giving chase he says to the cop I've got this you know a professional wrestler no you don't I'm gonna get this one right right but this is I mean it is a fucking ridiculous thing here he throws him off this roof and then the flashback stops and we were told

that Johansen landed head first in an empty swimming pool and that is how he got the fucking plate on his head good god amazing it's amazing but also amazing in these scenes is Sherman Hemsley and Mother Love just like They want to fuck so bad

That the kid knows Well, okay This is the thing with this kid Here's the thing with this fucking kid, okay? This kid, okay, so he comes in And Sherman Hemsley's trying to put some hot sauce on something Yes Well, it's the very insulting move, dude

If someone has made you a plate of food And you put that hot sauce on before you even taste it, very insulting. Okay, so but this is so, but this is So this is happening. And she's like, don't you do that? That's an insult. And then Alex shit boy comes in. He's like, geez, you could cut the sexual tension in here with a knife.

Oh, yeah. And then they look at each other. Cracks open a cold Coca-Cola. Yeah. And then they look at each other like, maybe. And then he's like, I think this is too adult for me. I'm like, motherfucker, you started it. Totally.

You are the hoardy master. You did it. You said sex and nobody wanted you to. Jesus. Oh, my God. So, yeah, go ahead, Steve. Oh, no, so yeah, the next thing is basically that they are like drowning Austin Pendleton, which is a lot of fun to look at, I think. It is fucking funny, man.

Because it's a scene that starts and it's like David Johansson's just jaw on at these. Hot, hot, hot, right? Remember that from the 80s? Do you remember that one from the 80s? And he gets his head buffered here. Yes. This is the real sexual shit. Yes, Eric, you're right. This is how the scene starts with the head buffering.

And he's like, make sure you get the sides all leaving this time. And you're like, all right. And he's definitely like coming while this is happening. Absolutely. And then like the guy, one of the other guys, you know, Wolfgang or one of the other guys is like, oh, hey boss, it's been like 90 seconds. And he's like, all right. And then it's like revealed that Austin Pendleton's been underwater the whole time.

Massive legitimate laugh in my house. Yeah, that's good. That's good. I just want a whole movie of torturing Austin Pendleton because he's so good of being tortured I would like

just put him in a season of 24 for God's sake and he's like well you gotta give me the chip I need the chip and it's like what price is

what price is what's your price and it's like I don't know he's like what about you kids and my favorite thing is like you pig you pig yeah

calling the pig is great I would be like if I were that dad I'd be like, if I cared about those kids, I would have, I would have paid attention to them by now. You would hope. Yeah, he should have been like, nice try, David Johansson.

I don't give a shit about my kids. Have you seen the way of been raising them? I literally call him shit boy. What do you? Yeah. Come on. Just to do it. Uh, so hell rains down on the,

on the homestead back at the house here. Because while Hulk Hogan is doing ballet with this little girl, the goons break down the door and immediately, one of them immediately is like choking out Mother Love and I'm like, you know what? Why don't you just make her sit on the couch? It's a lot.

First of all, this movie was sold on Imagine Hulk Hogan and a tutu. Could you stop, hold on to your side when I tell you that this cars are driving off the road. This gentleman, because that's the poster, that's the trailer, that's the whole fucking thing is this guy is going to do a tea party with a little girl and wear a tutu and oh my god can you even imagine

but he's a big strong man i know eric it's just not done where did they get the hulk size tutu that's a great that's a great that's the hugest joke of the movie is it's like oh my god you're wearing spandex motherfucker that's all you've ever worn like totally yeah like that's you wear it every day of course it's a movie in the 90s with like cartoony bad guys there is a karate guy. There has to be. You need a karate guy. There's always one. He has the best stunt work in the movie though because he's the guy who runs upstairs after the

kids and like there's a gag that said it before. It does not matter how it happened. Who cares? But the kid has a wallet that if you open it, electricity comes out of it and it shocks you and he's like, he says to this dude, here take my wallet. All I have is $10,000

and this guy opens the wallet and he gets electrocuted and falls off the, you know, overlook. They could be heavier for $10,000. Also, you think that this would be the climax of the movie where, like, if you're setting up, if you're doing the home alone thing, if you're setting up a kid who has all these wacky inventions, turned the inventions back around on the bad guys. I was expecting a tripwire because there's so many tripwires all over the house. That's ridiculous that you didn't bring that one back out. That's the kid's greatest hit.

Check out's tripwire. Like, have them chase them through the gym and have them, like, do something with the magnet or like the electrocute them with the, thing. Somehow they die. Well, the real thing that he uses that, he gets, you do get another use of the electro wallet when he's killed, I assume kills the bullies.

Yes. When they try to take it from him and fucking get electrocuted. Yes, that is the debut of the electric wallet. The weird, the weird thing here is why is Wolfgang like a Terminator? Because like, arguably Hulk Hogan could kick the shit

out of this guy. Like, he, Wolfgang is also very much in shape. We see him fucking pull a door off of a safe at one point early in the film. But like, it's the weird thing of Hulk Hogan's just like punching the shit out of this guy and he's like not even moving. Like, give me at least

a fair fight between two wrestling shaped guys. That gag works when the guy punching is Harrison Ford. Yeah. Not when it's Hulk Hogan. Yeah. You can't do that gag with Hulk Hogan. Otherwise, yeah, Wolfgang's a Terminator. He's invincible and he beats him up and they take the kids. Meanwhile, the dog

has the microchip in it and not that that matters but it does and it's with the girl and this is when they take they take the kids and Sherman Helmsley they leave Hulk Hogan and Mother Love behind for whatever reason they have a gun and one of the guys is like what about him and they're like

we can't make business with pleasure like no kill him now and then you don't have to worry about it that's exactly right I would argue kill fucking Sherman Helmsley in front of the house why not kill everyone yes See, that would have been great, Eric. If this movie just ended in a bloodbath, you did not see that guy.

That would be amazing. Like, oh, this, the pit of blood was foreshadowing this fucking family annihilation. Oh, my God. But so whatever, they bring them back and they're still trying to torture. They, this kid gets punched in the face by David Johansson. Yeah, and it's really something. It's pretty sad. It is, yes.

It's good. Oh, man. The catharsis I felt with this kid Because it happens twice Like he gets he gets punched in the face Or slapped by David Johansson Then there's another part where I think it's Wolfgang Kicks this kid like across the room

Holy fuck that's funny It's like a full on wire pole stunt Yeah definitely he just keeps going The kid is like Oh Hulk Hogan has the chip You have to get him over here So they call him and then he gets on his motorcycle I think Mother Love gives him some inspiration

Like I always believe in you or something sure, that's a movie now. Is this where he grabs the electric toilet seat? They think the chip is in that? Yes. He says it's in the electric toilet seat because this kid has been designing fucking torture devices for Guantanamo.

I mean, putting electricity that close to water in general, like, come on. Not great idea. I know. I know. This kid's a fucking cereal. It's crazy. Yeah. I will say I like that this, so he gets the toilet seat that has the

that has the secret chip and the Dolly thing. So then starts, my favorite part of this, it's about five minutes of Hulk Hogan in Miami Vice. Yep. He gets on the speedboat and it's just like with this other ruffian who runs the boat fight. It's a fucking boat fight. It's awesome.

This is the question that I've always had with Hulk Hogan is why has that movie never happened? Like, you know what I mean? Like, no holds barred is the closest, but he's still a wrestler. So, like, why is it he just a down-in-his-luck-bought bounty hunter who gets involved in some coke money? Is that Thunder and Paradise, kind of? Yeah, but it's a TV show and it's like a little bit more PG-30.

I want him in a hard, an R-rate. Hard-R vote violence, yeah. Like a Van Dam-esque movie where it's just, it's Hulk Hogan fucking people. The difference there is wrestling is for children and Jean-Claude Van Dam is European. That's adult. So you want, so you want a. you want a Leon the professional with Hulk Hogan

Sure Okay You're a little too young even for me brother This movie's a little French for me if you know what I'm talking about I don't know what's going on with this guy and this girl I'm not wearing that hat I don't know who you're talking about this Chuck Chaplin But no

I mean Steve you're bringing up a question that I had like You know watching this movie today Why he was never able to transfer into like more adult fair because like the rock did it the rock started doing like you know like kid shit the rock was successful though no yeah i guess that's true but like the fact that he never wound up in bad direct to vhs action movies though like just give me one of the time yeah thunder and paradise is very close though i will i will give it points but yeah this is Miami vice he's fighting people on boats and stuff i mean it's fun it's a great fight he gets

handcuffed to the boat steering wheel which he just proceeds to rip off and then just he totally murders this guy he fucking ties a rope around him and throws him into the bay adios dude is he being dragged behind that yeah probably because that's a terrible death

I'd rather just be thrown off into the bay yep no that dude died horribly for David Johanson that's what happened yeah good move when he gets on the boat though it's also great because he's riding the motorcycle right up to the and he just like skids out and throws the motorcycle into two

people. That is great. Using the motorcycle as a weapon. Yes, it's so awesome. So he swims in and he swims like up into the hideout in the same like square cut hole in the floor that I thought at one point in the movie. It just went past all the milk. Yes, it's like weird like soggy gray water.

Very strange. It's that Florida water, you know. Yeah, that that Biscayne Bay water there, I guess. It'd be great to be swimming and he's like, the hell's this dog doing here. Hey, don't I know you from somewhere, brother? That dog should save the day. Should start biting people. Fuck, dude, yeah.

All of a sudden, there was a hero dog in this movie. To be fair, it's Chekhov's dog. If you throw a dog in the first act, it needs to come back in the third. Absolutely. For revenge. Yeah, of course. Oh, no, it's that dog we sit to death. It's coming to get us.

Oh, no, I saw a pet cemetery. Oh, fuck. Look, brother, I know I should have a, I should have stopped and stopped that man from throwing you in the ocean, but I was in a rush. I needed the job. I needed the job. I'm being chilly out of a can, brother.

It'd be so cool if there was a flashback that showed David Johansson was the one throwing it into the bay because what, all this criminal schemes don't make, don't add up to much of anything. Now we're just turning this movie into Amaris Peros. And yes, correct. That's the lost fourth segment of Amora's Peros. We're like, Gail Garcia-Bernal rescues the dog from the fucking Miami beach and brings it to Mexico and trains it as a fighting dog. My first idea is microchips.

My second is a wave of dog drowning. And then fixing wrestling matches. Yes. Perfect. He infiltrates it's Sands dog, sadly, without just no doubt. Yeah, it's a bummer. David Johansson does kind of have a great line here because he has already of course

recognized Sherman Helmsley but then here's Hulk Hogan and he goes I expect more from the man who wrestled at the West Memphis Pork Pavilion No there's a line that he says like when he laments his hair That like has legitimately stuck with me since childhood He's like I had to fake lustrous manageable hair Manageable It's great

I think it's a genuinely good line and there's a reason it is stuck in my brain for at least two decades. All the Hulk and movies have like three good lines. Yeah. That's what you're getting out of. You're not getting him from this little boy though because he's got another shit-ass one

coming up. But he goes the craziest thing in this movie is Sherman Helmsley, he's like his wrists are bound by rope. He somehow gets his hands on a machine gun and shoots through the rope. Like he's got a machine gun like tuck between his knees, and he's

firing it up into the ceiling. He's got the Hemingway. He's got a toe on the trigger, and he's letting it go. Sherman Hemingway. Yeah. The kid gets kicked in the face by Wolfgang, which is great. But so Hulk Hogan, like,

like he's Jason Voorhees. Hulk Hogan wraps chains around this guy. Yes. And keeps wrapping him in chains, and then, like, ties it and hooks it to a thing. And then this fucking kid just goes, hang out, Wolfie. baby and pushes

like the button and the thing like you know hangs this guy up in the air wolfie baby get out of here with this kid and his one line the kids got one good line when they when David Johansen thinks that the electric toilet seat contains the microchip he says there's no chip in there

dork brain yeah what does he say like so sue me and it was like it was a real excuse me princess moment yeah we were trying to get that on t-shirts man so sue me it's the 90s that was also a suburban commando the neighbors were like

oh yeah we're not gonna kick your ass what do you think it's the 90s we're gonna sue you're totally yeah I do so sumi was like that classic schoolyard thing that you said to people in 90s or it was like so sue me I don't know it was just so it was so dumb that that's what those jokes began to erode the sense of law and order in this nation that's true that's true

That is why we now live in our age of American carnage. Yes. There's a direct line between that. So Sumian Mr. Nanny all the way to the attack on the Capitol. Absolutely. You can find it. Do one of those memes with that little domino thing. Who knows?

I mean, where the fuck is this guy who played the kid these days, man? Maybe he was there on the Capitol stuff. He might have his Q. He's Q. He's Q. He's Q. Yeah, it's a branch of the proud boys, the shit boys. The shit boys.

I believe it. It's the same thing. They're just the same exact organization. Canada's Canada's newest terrorist, the proud boys. He's using, so David Johansson decides

out of nowhere, he's going to be like a villain in a Ninja Turtles cartoon. He's like bending over and using this metal plate as like a ramrod kind of thing. Yeah. It is insane.

I will not be denied my pleasure. I will hurt your belly and maybe kill myself. Yeah. I will break my own neck. I mean, yeah, because, I mean, like, how much power are you getting to this guy? It's, you know, what, I mean, what he is doing right here is what they teach you, like, your first day of playing, like, like, Pop Warner football, right? When you're a little kid and you start, you learn how to play football.

Like, when they teach you at a tackle, the first thing they tell you is do not do it with your head down like that because you will 100% break your fucking neck. it works the same way that jaws as jaws work in james bot like like your teeth shouldn't be able to do it no matter how metal it is but metal equals strong so right yeah that's about right and the kid wires something that you know zaps his brain work together and like babbled the techno about we can generate electricity try to figure out what the fuck they're talking about here with this whole contraption i have no idea this is that educational bent thing where like you have to get some facts in here. Like, this is... Infotainment. Don't you know? Dad, this is a transformer. We can do this thing and that thing. And it will tell you how much I know. I hear transformer.

I still think robot that turns into car, car that turns into a robot. Me too, dude. That'd be cool if there was a Deo Sachs transformer here. Hulk Hogan, get the fuck out of here with these kids. I'll take it from here. I'm Sherman Helmsley's newest bodyguard. We go way back. He took a bullet for me.

once. They do it twice too because then later he's like oh yeah and a conductor a person who drives a train but they do is David Jensen's dead here right because basically he goes into space

yeah either he's dead or he's fucking living out the rest of his days on the moon dude I don't know bumps into Rita Repulsa from the Power Rangers reboot we see his head fall to the ground the plate the plate yeah that's Disgusting, dude, there's a little bit of fucking, like, viscera in there. Like, brain in there.

Scanner cop. Stealing from Scanner cop. You're totally right. Yeah. Or did Scanner cop steal it for Mr. Danny? It's a great question. Scanner cop came out a year after this movie, so it's possible. Well, you know what?

They perfected it. That's true. Yeah. Way better in Scanner Cup. And everybody cribs from Gottlieb. We all know. He's the sparks of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, movies, like everything comes back

to him. Well, we should point out like when, like the plan is like he just gets, they build a magnet and so as like David Johansson is like, you know, running of the bull running towards Hulk Hogan for his final head strike, he suddenly like flies into this

rod and spins around it, Looney Tunes style. It's amazing. It's a lot. It's a lot. It takes a lot. Like any any disbelief you had, it's over with like there's just just it's gone and and austin pendleton is like smiling at this person being murdered in front of him yes well now he knows like now finally no one is after my

he's gotten a taste for blood and so now he and it's going to be like dexter yeah like that's how he and his son are going to bond now the kid has a shit-ass line right here though when the plate falls back on the ground he goes man really blue his top oh god i'm okay with it no the only everything worse in that line is how satisfied shit boy is saying those words. I'm like don't you be proud of this. Well, because if you're that little kid actor, you're looking at the script and you're doing these scenes and you're

like, wait a second, I have all the funny zingers in this movie. I'm going to be huge after this. Yeah. I'm going to put some a stank on it. Yeah. I'm kind of confused what happens at the real end of this movie because suddenly Sherman Helmsley becomes chief

of police. I don't even know. I don't know what this is. He's dressed like Gaddafi at the end. Like what that he win? Dude, I don't know. Like the shoulder pads on this jacket. Dude, you just don't remember 90s fashions, man. Yeah, yeah. It's insane. And I said, hey, everybody out, president for life. And he's just walking around. Okay. There goes, just call him the president. It's fine.

We call that Gaddafi. Yeah. Yeah, it's the Gaddafi. I feel like what you're supposed to believe there is that he is just like, he's the new head of security for Austin Pendleton, I think is the idea. God. The fact that there is this ridiculous fucking fairy men's Captain of the Titanic fucking outfit he's got on. And it's so dumb. We get a reprise of Dream Dad while literally the two, like the two dads are talking. Like Hulk and Pendleton and they're like, no, he's the real dad.

Don't you get it? And it's crazy too because Pendleton is like, you know, well, you know, you did a really great job, Hulk Hogan. And he's like, no, brother. you're doing a great job i'll tell you what raising kids is the toughest gig i know yeah did you know that well in the whole thing he ends it like is he's like i'm going to take a break from a while but the kids who love him now mind you uh don't want that to happen so to preserve them like he they prank him again yes one last prank for the road dude you kind of fucking throw him off a fully operating motorcycle where he's not wearing it so funny if that was the thing that finally killed him

He's a criminal mindset. They're going to get him and then stuff him. And then he's just in their room. He's their doll to play with, essentially. They're going to weaken at Bernie's him. Yes. Tea party. That final shot of him just mid-air flying to an unknown future or death or what.

Going to be his fucking father in hell tonight. You're right. It is very much like the end of the graduate. You see him looking out. You don't know what that look means necessarily. Hello, darkness. old friend. I mean,

instead of, if it was a weekend of Bernie's situation though, instead of calypso music that makes them go and walk around,

it'd be butt rock. Or dream dad. And I keep, I keep having this dream of where I'm flying off a motorcycle and going up ahead of me is my own father.

Of course, I'm now the older man and then he's flying off a motorcycle. And that was it? Oh, man. were you saying something cabin i'm sorry i said and that was it that was it indeed that is the end of the movie i wanted to point out

um because i'm sure sure someone's going to mention it so just to stop some tweets here none of us knew this until i'm about to say it right now apparently in 2014 director michael gotlieb was killed in a motorcycle accident oh yeah so we did not know that until i just said it now however to just shout out this dude's filmography for a second um not a huge director i think he was more of like a writer and producer on things but director of 1987's mannequin absolutely and manning well and he wrote manikin too oh so he maybe wrote manikin one also then i don't know yeah yeah he wrote he's the mastermind

behind the mannequin franchise it's probably his best work and he did a kid in king arthur's court no absolutely that's that's yeah that's a pre-famed daniel craig in it it does And Kate Winslet. Ooh, that I didn't remember. Oh, yeah, Kate Winslet. Princess Sarah and Daniel Craig is Master Cain. Master Cain. All right, I'm watching this.

Okay, movie. Oh, man, would anybody recommend this movie? Clint, as the guest this week, we'll start with you. Could you repeat the question? I was too busy, mesmerized by a kid and King Arthur's Court. Would you recommend this film to the listening public? Oh, no. I would recommend you listen to rough stuff for 90 minutes.

and you will have a better time. Fair enough, Steve Sadek. Yeah, I think that this is the worst of the bunch. I mean, like, I just consider it the first three, the Knowles Bard, Suburban Commando, and Mr. Nanny. Like, I think you're better off watching Suburban Commando. At least there's, like, weird space shit in that. And Christopher Lloyd, like, you know what I mean?

Like, this is a step up from Austin Pendleton. Love Austin Pendleton, but Chris Lloyd is a step up. Austin Pendleton and International Man of Mendleton, yeah. Yeah, it's a no for me. me. Chris Cabin? No, but I do have, I mean, I have to, oh, no, if I watched this like hundreds, I watched this so much as a kid. I had the tape, but going back to it, it was pretty rough. I would say of the Hulk movies, No Holds Bard is the one I remember the best. Like, that's the most

remarkable to me. Because it has the line, dude. Dukey and Lister. Yeah, I mean, it has a lot going for it um i i i certainly enjoy this more than the rip-offs of this that have come since like pacifier yeah yes that was the vin diesel one right yeah and like tooth fairy the the original dwayne johnson one very similar to this as well the game plan also kind of like this uh like this at least has like a little bit more weirdness to it there's not so much control uh but yeah don't see it john sina had one just like a year or two ago it was like playing with fire or was like a firefighter? Oh, yes. Yes. And that, yes, that was the latest iteration of this thing of tough guy hanging out with kids. Bautista just had one at early last year called My Spy, which actually

is not terrible. Oh, really? I haven't seen it. I think, I, I think it knows how to use Batista's size, if that makes sense. It would know how to just depict him as a giant dude who is awkward in his body. It would make sense that Bautista would make the best version of it, for sure. Okay. Now, all you guys, hold on. under your monocles. I'm going to suggest this movie, recommend it very lightly. In terms of once you and all the boys get vaccinated,

you get back together, you fucking get hammered. Get a gold fashion drunk on and put this on. I mean, the other Hulk Hogan movies are probably better, but it's still just dumb donkey shit, bullshit. You can watch with the boys.

Just crack open a can of beans. I would say, I like that. Oh, I've been there. Eat your slop. I would say, Eric, I agree with you because, like, sitting at home today by myself just watching this this morning, I wanted to just straight up die. Yeah. But I can totally see, like, in normal times, getting together with friends watching this movie, because it is ridiculous. It is a trip down memory lane, one in which I was like, how did my parents not throw me in a river fucking putting movies like this on, you know?

so I'd recommend it in safe social situations only watching it alone at 10 a.m. with black coffee probably not. Not so great. The bummer about Hulk Hogan's IMDB page here trying to find all the things that he's like acted in is all of his wrestling shit is in with that. So it's like you have to scroll because I'm sitting here scrolling but you've got to look through

dozens of just like random WWF shit that he's just got credits as Hulk Hogan for. But you know what? 1993 is when Thunder and Paradise came out. He's driving a boat. He's firing guns.

You know, there's a pretty lady that he's trying to save. His character's name is Randolph J. Hurricane Spencer. Dude, his nickname is Hurricane. I mean, it's really all you need. Yeah. They did supposedly cut it

into like a under two hour like condensed like movie story. Because if you look it up on IMDB, there is a Thunder and Paradise 93. one hour and 44 minutes. I wish that was available. Or maybe it is. I don't know. He was in a four-season

long animated show called China, Illinois for Adult Swim. Nope. Oh, boy. Right alongside, is Brad Neely created it? Oh, right. Okay. All right. And Greta Gerwig has a voice in it. Oh, no. That's interesting.

Brad Neal is funny. I like Brad Neely. Hey, uh, hey Greta. Yeah, it's Terry. Just want to tell you. I just caught little women in the theater. Loved it, darling. You did a great job there. I'm scrolling on his IMDB, and Steve, you might be interested. There's an R-rated movie, 98. He was in The Ultimate

Weapon. I like the sound of that. Yeah, that might be something. Because that's what I was talking about. Dude, those were the kind of movies I wish he got to make more of. And now you're telling me the ultimate weapon. Let's see, oh, here we go. 1990. Oh, man. And he's playing a dude named Cutter. Oh, we got to find this.

There's another R-rated movie from 97. Assault on Devil's. island where he's got long fake hair and no mustache and oh my god i don't think i've ever seen carl weathers he was in an episode of walker texas ranger as a character named boomer knight that sounds right that's what they know about the boardwalk wait a second though back to assault on devil's island because you're right eric carlweathers hulk hogan shannon tweed fucking martin cove is in the movie john crease himself uh Trevor goddard RIP, the

Cano, Mortal Kombat. It says it's a TV movie, but I'm thinking it might be Showtime or HBO or something, because it is supposedly rated R. And you know, the lines are blurred anymore anyway. What is TV? What is film? Oh, man. Well, that is going to do it on Mr. Nanny

unfortunately from 1993, directed by Michael Gottlieb. Clint, one more time, give a quick pitch to the audience where they can find your work on the internet. Sure. You can follow me on Twitter. at Clint Worthing. I also run The Spool, which you can find on Twitter at The Spool, and you can find the website

itself at The Spool.net. Search for me in the podcast world on Travolta Cage with Nathan Raven, and the podcast, more of a comment, really, which is an interview podcast I do for The School, where I talk to film and TV composers. And you can also find my, you know, headlines everywhere else, just literally everywhere else. I pitch everywhere, and I just, I need money, please. There you go, dude. And as always,

We Hate Movies. You can check out more content. Of course, patreon.com slash we hate movies. We have introduced a new Patreon tier into the family. Steve Seda, if you want to take that away? Yeah, it is the Walsh, the $10 tier, the executive tier, we'll call that. It gives you a, we already dropped it,

our Nexus style episode on series on Beverly Donatuno and Melrose Place. It's going to be monthly. But there's all sorts of crazy bonus shows coming up. Next month we're going to do some kind of a recap on Zach Snyder's Justice League, ladies and gentlemen. And that's what we have to keep calling it, right? Because that's how they're distinguishing it. Yes, they're not calling the Snyder Cut because they don't give those people that much.

But they're going to call it Zach Snyder's Justice League. And then the month after that, in April, we're going to be bi-monthly every other month. We'll be doing a once-in-a-lifetime. You've asked for it. It's coming. We're going to do lifetime movies on that tier as well. That tier is going to be really, really. and it also obviously gets you everything else we do

which includes this month Gremlins too, right? That's right. The new batch. Oh yeah. Hey, Gremlins! Get out of that projection booth. Give me some hot popcorn. We got that going on. We got animation, damnation, the Gleep Glossary, the next is all that stuff. You get it all

on this $10 tier plus all these new shows that we've announced. And of course, hey, Steve, you know what? I mean, as always, man, the show rose on here on this free feed. So next Tuesday, what classic pieces in there are we covering? We're doing something because I've never heard of it called Live Wire Eric Siska.

I'm so pumped for this. I believe HBO has it. Don't quote me on that. Look for yourself. But Pierce Bros. and Ron Silver bomb diffusing movie, it's one of the best things I've discovered in the past few years. It's fucking totally bad shit crazy. And it was a great like like telling like so I had Eric

tell me, like, LiveWire is great. You got to watch it. And then I watch it. He's fucking dead on. Correct. And that's like a gift, man. That is a gift that will be forever with me. LiveWire. It's so much fucking fun. It is, it is Pierce Brosnan trying to do a New York Detective Exence. So look out below for that. I'm excited.

Zero percent on Rotten Tomatoes. It's good, though. I would definitely recommend it. Yeah, this is a, it's a recommended advance. I'm so excited to rewatch it next week. But until then, I'm Andrew Jupin, Stephen Sadek, Eric Siska, Chris Cabin, and Clint Worthington. Take it easy.