We Hate Movies - S11: Episode 543 - Highlander

Episode Date: April 20, 2021

On this week's show, well, this one's a long time comin'—it's Highlander! Why on Earth did Connery say yes to this and Zardoz, but turned down The Matrix? Did the sex scene need all that... licking? And do all immortals love professional wrestling? PLUS: Do not ask Connor MacLeod to switch seats! Highlander stars Christopher Lambert, Sean Connery, Clancy Brown, Roxanne Hart, Beatie Edney, Alan North, Sheila Gish, and Jon Polito; directed by Russell Mulcahy. Get in on the FRQNCY1 pre-sale now through 4/23 and catch the guys reunite on stage to talk about Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome! Catch WHM on tour this fall—More Info WHM Merch Store Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

this week on the show they may have made five live action features one animated feature three television shows and l-o-l a web series but everybody knows there can be only one it's highlander i'm andrew jupin stephen shadak eric cisca his cabin hey he he and we hate movies Hello, Hello, everyone, welcome to we hate movies. Thank you for tuning into the fine program. As always, this week, that's right. Here it comes, baby. Could have been an L, it's an H, doesn't matter. It's Highlander from 1986, directed by Russell Mulcahy, director of previous episodes, Highlander to the Quickening, Ricochet, and The Shadow. Auteur. That's Auteur level. He gets the card.

This movie especially, this is a big L for me. And by that, I mean love. If you're new to the show, that means I love it. It's not like a loser. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I can't say for sure how long the cut your hearing is going to be, but the original cut was definitely six hours. The raw footage of Eric going through the history, his personal history with this film, with six hours. Well, thank you for bringing it up, Chris. Another, like, get comfortable in the chair here.

So this is a film that I've literally seen this movie more than any other movie. Wow. Is that right? I'm pretty confident in that. Yeah. That's pretty fucking cool. More than your Star Wars? Probably. I, you know, because my older brother controlled the dial most of it. And honestly, this was on rotation before I was starting to get heavily into Star Wars. I guess the special edition re-release has ramped up that fever. But this movie was dominating my life before that. Yeah. This laid the groundwork for your love of space swords.

Yeah. I got to love a real sword. And then you love a space sword. And then sometimes you love a meat sword. Occasionally. Occasionally. somehow this is only my second time watching this full straight through last night really wow I mean I'm not that far ahead of you I'd say Steve maybe I've seen this movie like three to five times

I think it was on HBO or something ad nauseum that's that's what I've seen it I saw twice as a kid and then because I lived with her for so long just by osmosis I've seen it 27 times and then I watched it again last night for the show of course

Hey Chris you Ready for Highlander Wednesdays? Yeah, of course I am, Eric. I'm going to get a new place. I think I said it on the start of our Highlander 2 episode, but like this was just a franchise that never grabbed me as a youth. Like I feel like I was probably over 30 years old before the first time I saw Highlander. Oh, wow.

Yeah. Yeah, no, I definitely saw it by, I think, but whenever they started broadcasting, probably. I mean, early 90s for sure. Maybe it was a VHS rental or something. I remember my parents were kind of into it too. Wow, a whole household of Highlander heads. My first moving out of my parents' house roommate just sat me down and we watched this. I was like, what, 25 when I saw this movie for the first time. So yeah, it's and then I've seen it again. I do really like this movie. It's kind of a warts and all love. I think I liked it better this last, this time last night, just because, like, I knew what it was.

Because the first time it was like, everybody was like, Highlander, like, I was like, I'm like, is it a really good movie or is it just sort of like a super fun cheesy movie? And I think it's the latter. It's both. Yeah, it's also true. I think it's kind of both, too. This is the most fun I've had watching this movie. And I don't know.

I think something is like, you know, it was just so broken inside of me that I was like, I need just two hours of people being fucking slain with swords. Well, we were talking about it last night. And I really, I think about it now, and it's absolutely true. Queen makes this thing work. Absolutely. If it had been another like a boring score, like a big like fantasy score or anything, like would not work at all.

You need a big cheesy like Prague-ish like tint to this. It hits at all levels. Not only music, maybe not necessarily performance, but like the music and the direction honestly and the the stylizedness of it is very striking it is i mean there's a lot of like really interesting long shots like a lot of tracking going on in certain areas which is really cool i think my thing is if you if you gave me like a wish list for this movie i'd i'd want like one or two more new york sword fights you know what i mean like just random highlanders just kind of like oops a doodle lamb like less high less actual stuff

in the old country just him walk into a bar and he's like oh crap another highlander shit you're you're totally right on dude because what we're told in this movie is that like you know reach out to the juggalo's man because the gathering is happening the gathering is happening in new york city and the gathering is like when there are just a few highlanders left roaming the earth or not highlanders but these immortal dudes right uh they're all gonna come to the gathering have a big fucking fight to the death and the last one standing is the one right and like it would be cool if other people came to town besides clancy brown and that one other guy and then the dude at the beginning in the parking lot right like it would be cool if like yeah he's just walking down this oh no there's a bunch more immortals waiting outside to my art gallery better fight them like yeah i need a few of them that aren't don't have such cool names like like a one that like one from jersey who's just named jed that's actually a great point chris because like you know he uh connor mcleod is born and the kirkin and ramirez obviously have been around for much longer. So are there

concurrent births? Are there, is there a baby in New Jersey? Although we do get one mention of a immortal possibly dying in New Jersey. A Polish national got his head cut off. Oh, right. Yes. You think the baby, there's a there's a baby boom and a Highlander boom. I mean, if there's more births, I mean, like, whatever the percentage of Highlanders, and I'm just going to call

them Highlanders, I'm sorry, everybody. Yeah. Whatever, whatever the percentage of Highlanders from the birthing pool. So yeah, like the baby boom, there would be a couple of more Highlanders born in like the 40s and 50s. Man, fucking boomerlanders, dude, look out for that shit. These entitled, immortal fucking pieces of shit. We keep shooting them and they keep trying to stop the steel. They keep getting up again. I would like to think they go searching much like the Dalai Lama, like they just have this shitty like trench coat and they show it to babies and they're like, where do you know this? Have you been in this?

before. Duster, duster. Oh my God, it's him. This guy, this one's name is Jake.

Okay. Jake Highlander, how you do it? Also, you know, what about some female Highlanders, ladies and gentlemen?

I guess the only real one was Isidora Duncan and then she tragically passed. Yeah, Connor McLeod showed her a thing or two.

Jane Mansfield was a Highlander, too. Oh, my God. No one, Highlander Grace Kelly this is all terrible isn't I want to say maybe in the television show there's some female immortals running around maybe would hope so I mean like yeah I didn't tune in for the TV show and honestly I mean the movies get progressively worse and

incomprehensible this should have been a one and done but even that end like source code movie by the time that was hitting theaters I was like I'll catch it on on TV and I probably I think I did at one point and I was like I don't understand what's happening have you seen all of the motion pictures I've only seen one through three anything we've done episodes on yeah I've unless they've made any secret new ones yeah I've definitely seen them all yeah I watched the pilot for the television show because Lambert is on it he just like kind of like creeps out from the shadows in a cameo and he's like all right Duncan McLeod go for it I've always been curious and I just never, I've never bitten the bullet on that one. The idea is that they're, they're clansmen, right? They're two, two dudes from the same clan of, of Clan McLeod. What are the odds, man? What are the odds?

Two immortals in the same family? Yeah. Fucking crazy, dude. Those guys better buy lotto tickets. And here is my room of lotto tickets. All my winnings throughout all of time. That's right. When you're immortal, you have all the time in the world.

The odds are in your favor. Would you like to see a giant publisher's clearing check? I mean, I just rob the place, honestly. Because what are they going to do? Shoot me? I got to say this is one of the coolest opening. I mean, like, that's the thing, too, is like, this opening is a movie into itself,

and it's even better than this whole movie, but it rules. It rules the school. I love the black and red. I love red credits on a black background. That's all I ever want. And this crane shot, I guess it is, of the auditorium or wherever wrestlers fight. Quote unquote, Madison Square Garden is what it's supposed to be.

Yes. So what are we supposed to understand about Connor McLeod? Like, did he just like, did he win these tickets from Z100 or like, was he really wanted to go? I think what it is is he's like preternaturally attracted to professional wrestling because, because it reminds him most of like his ogre fucking clans, people beating the shit out of each other. Makes sense. I think that's definitely what it is.

Totally makes sense. Oh, this brings me back to the good old days. Yeah, the pheromones of this male bashing each other. Yeah. It's the good old days, the all or nothing days. I would wager that he was supposed to meet that guy in the parking garage, right? But not to evaluate that sword or whatever the cop story is. No, no, no, just to fight to the death.

We'll watch the hell in the cell match. And then afterwards, we'll go down to the parking lot and fight to the death. Okay, here's the move. We meet up at five. Get steaks and drinks. Then we go to the wrestling match. We definitely want to go downtown for the steaks and drinks. Nothing good around Madison Square Garden.

shit hole but go up to Madison Square Garden watch a couple of the matches then fight to the death afterwards whoever wins gets to have another drink and maybe another steak let me ask you

are you into stogies are you a staggy man a real dude's night a dude's night I have to tell you it's you know we're now into the second year of this quarantine technically Yep

Round of applause, world And I just got to tell you, Steve, you describing going getting drinks and some steaks, going to see some fucking rassling at the garden And then minus the fight to the death Maybe we just insert more drinking after Maybe a drink to the death kind of a thing I would like to suggest the four of us do that

Company outing to go be stupid as shit on the town Absolutely. Oh, has time become meaningless? Oh, but you're just. you don't live forever now, do you? I was going to say of all that, the thing that really highlighted for me was the fighting to the death.

That's not the best option that I have at current. Like, I do think you're right, though. Like, he must have been, like, watching this wrestling match and been like, ha ha, this reminds me of me and my brother getting sweaty and touching each other's dicks and hugging. Well, also, I just was reminded of there's definitely in one of the flashbacks, it's when his wife is like, oh, like, I'm going to go buy a dress.

ha ha ha ha I'm having a great day in the market there's definitely like fucking wrestling happening yes there is so yeah I think it's like oh the old days are back I mean I also get the thematic element of like it's obviously about two titans you know bashing each other and that's how we're being introduced to me it's a cool opening it's hilarious it's professional wrestling great opening also seeing um uh Connor McLeod's the introduction his eyes are kind of like highlighted more than the rest of his body kind of like a film noir lighting technique looks a little like detour. Oh, yeah. Yeah, at the diner or

whatever where the guy's eyes are just highlighted. And then did you guys spot this fat dude yelling at him? Like, why aren't you join the match? He's got some shitty tickets for a Highlander, man. You know what I mean? Like, you want to be you want to get, he's way back and he's in the fucking yelling section. That's the problem. Listen, listen, listen. I'm a world famous antiquities dealer. I cannot be photographed in the front

rover wrestling match, my career would be destroyed. Not just that, but like, if they knew that I had this predilection for loving wrestling, I'd show up in every fight, every broadcast. They would know I don't age. Also, up here is where the real sport is.

You get a nacho cheese in your hair and you really smell the sweat. All right, guys, I think what we're dealing with here is some sort of man who can live forever. I want to show you ringside here footage, WrestleMania 1. Yep, you see that weird looking

guy's eyes are kind of glistening like that. Looks like a film noir, yeah. All right, now let's cut ahead here. WrestleMania 30. Look, a front row there, ringside. There's that same beautiful glow. That man has not aged today. And boom, SummerSlam.

When Lex Lugar goes down, who's there in the corner? Who's there in the corner? There he is. Mr. French Neanderthal. There he is. Let me do a quick, uh, still by still shot. of this mysterious man

throwing a Budweiser to Stone Cold Steve Austin WrestleMania 20 shinks out there it is he pulls the beer from the trench coat and you can see the hilt of a sword next to the beer

so in conclusion Mr. Macman I think we have some sort of a mortal who is a fan of the WWE If you think that's the end of it I've got some news for you sir I have documented evidence that he has been to every single Nathan's

hot dog eating contest since 1847. That's right. I enjoyed the struggle between man and hot dog. Some years, man wins. But other years, hot dog triumphs.

I remember when the world was first plunged into darkness and it was the hot dogs. They won every year. I remember the first time that I used water to shove down the hot dogs rather than just eat with the saliva you have. Joey Chestnut is the world's most famous immortal. That's why his stomach is using the regenerative properties,

so he never gets full. He's the rare Highlander that you have to cut off his stomach rather than your head. I do love he's kind of in the middle in the beginning of this there's two businessmen on either sides both go in apes shit they seem like they came together you think it's one of those things where it's like oh do you mind just scooting over one me and my buddy

couldn't get the same no yep guaranteed I didn't get I didn't get to live to be 600 by moving from assigned seats yeah I feel like I've dealt with this Russell Nash at every fucking assigned seat movie theater I've been into. Without ardor,

there is chaos of the garden. So no, I won't swap seats. It says 91G. I'm 91G. Do you have a problem seeing the number on your tickets, or no? He pulls out his sword a little bit.

You sure you want to go down this road? 91F? I didn't think so. and I'm going to go get I'm going to go get soda there better not be someone sitting in my assigned seat when I return I swear to God this is my fucking jacket on the back of my fucking seat

and if your fat ass is sitting on my jacket when I return I'm going to cut your fucking head off no no I don't care if you get out before I come back. I have somebody watching that. You do not sit in it once. Yes, that's right. I had the audacity to publicly ask a stranger to keep an eye on my seat while I get a soda. Fuck those people. That's what let us down the print rose path to assign seating. Yeah, dude, do not ask a stranger to hold your seat. Also, the dudes on either side of him. it's definitely a case of those guys are acting like the wrestling is real yes they're so fucking into it

and i think because you can't really hear what they're saying because it's all muffled by more crowd noise but there's one point where he's like one of the guys is like he kind of looks like captain lu albano and he's like something something something that's what's great about this sport or something like that you're just like oh man unfortunate thank you sir thank you could you stop could you stop we could stop drooling on me Thank you. Unfortunate wrestlers, we do focus on considering they're wearing the stars and bars. I was going to say, did I spy a Confederate flag?

Oh, absolutely. There's also a burning cross. I'll point it out later. There is. These are the mighty, mighty freebirds. These are before my time wrestling. I was three at the time this movie came out. Oh, they're real?

I think so. It's a fabulous freebirds. See, this was a time now, kid and younger listeners, this was a time before every fucking jacking a fucking wrestler became a celebrity superstar movie guy. Yeah, it's four dudes Michael Hayes, Buddy Roberts, Terry Gordy, Jimmy

Garvin, and somebody named Bad Street. Would you say Barry Gordy? Terry Gordy. Oh, Terry, that makes much more sense. Barry Gordy is in the NHL. And they are facing off against the total Tuesday gons. Wait, then Steve, what did you say? There's one that only has one

what was it back street bad street oh bad street well bad street boy wouldn't want to walk down him i mean i know it's the 80s we should probably not be walking around and flying the stars at bars mr mcmann no definitely not oh man the muppett movies got some confederate fly it's that right yeah boy i saw that at a drive in this summer like you know like a you know obviously it's not a new movie it's an old movie so it's saw it at the drive in this summer and i was like oh that's unfortunate it's about heritage ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha fuzzy i've been meaning to talk to you about uh something in your act that came up last night what stella and waldorf really offended.

Oh, whatever. Those guys have too much influence as it is. Oh, man. The Confederate States of America, Waka, Waka. Oh, man. Hey, so how about this parking garage fight, huh? Pretty awesome. Before, this episode's going to be four and a half hours long.

We should say that Sean Connery, it's Sean Gone Month. Oh, sure. Did the opening scroll from his bathroom super important? It's a decent scroll, too. It is. The kind of movie you need a scroll type of thing is. From the dawn of time, we came moving silently through the centuries, living many secret lives, struggling to reach the time of the gathering.

When few who'd remain to battle to the last, no one has ever known we were among you until not. Now. Now, Russell, now Russell, do you split the voiceover booth fee with me? And I do the voiceover from my toilet. I have to do a nightly dump anyway. I just do it while I'm doing it. Struggling to reach the time of the gathering,

we're putting some fago on ice and we're going to chill the fuck out. Yes, Margaret, I'm talking to myself in here. Yes, that's what I'm doing. this is the time Memorial Maybe some condies some drinks snacks

that's what it was from the rock right I do love also like writing teachers will tell you you know don't ever start a story with the main character

wakes up I think don't ever start a scroll with from the dawn of time every scroll is like it's the dawn of time Like, I get it.

We know that the time has dawned. Let's move on. But from the afternoon of time. You've got to acknowledge all that. Another thing amazing about this movie is this was just some guy wrote a screenplay. Yes. And it's not like a comic book. It's not a other property.

But it feels like it could have been. Absolutely. It's just, it's, you know, I guess I hadn't really given to any thought. But now that you say that, like, what an incredible thing to learn that this was just like a person came up with this yeah like that's fucking cool and like hey man what's the number to that guy's weed guy yeah he uh he directed some stuff too let me try to pull up his info here but he wrote it at when he was like UCLA undergrad I guess but uh oh wow pretty awesome Gregory weed in oh yeah he wrote and directed the prophecy which makes sense oh

cool because yeah it's cool dudes doing stuff and a lot a lot of fake lightning in both movies actually yeah the prophecy is a movie that you're like oh you know it's awesome the prophecy and then you watch you're like oh no it's yeah he also wrote backdraft by the way oh more cool

dudes doing stuff also speaking of Kurt Russell had the role of Connor McLeod passed backed out wow yeah I think a choice I think I probably I mean like the thing is that we can talk about it it's just

Lambert's accent is a bit... Yeah. It's not a problem because it's just like, if once you believe it and love it, it's fine. You don't care anymore. But like, it's probably a better movie if somebody could do a Scottish accent. But the great save is when I know the problem, maybe don't do as many flashbacks then, but a good save in the writing is the cop being like, where are you from? Nash is like, all over the place. Yeah. It is kind of a thing where you're supposed to be like, all right, it's hundreds of

years. His voice has just been like forced to morph over time. But like when you get back into the Scotland shit and it's just like nah, you just always sounded like that dude. I mean, you got to give him credit. This motherfucker got cast in this movie and

the producers didn't find out until after he was hired that he didn't speak English. That's great. Yeah. That's a fucking great thing right there. The greatest trick the lamb bear ever pulled. So Chris, you're really excited to, We really think that you'd be great for the role of Connor.

You're excited about that. Yes. So you're just, you definitely know how to speak English, right? Yes. We. Yes. What do you think is going to be most important about visually showing, you know, how Connor McLeod is, is our own motto, I's? Yes.

What exactly? What's your training? Do you think you need, do you need, do you need, you need sword training? Yes. Apparently sort trained with the stunt double that for Darth Vader, which is kind of interesting. Ooh. There's my two interests together. Look, this is the best guy for like moving super awkwardly and blocky, okay? If you, if you, want a guy to be real stiff and hold a sword. We've got your guy. We were going to have Queen do the soundtrack. Is that sound good to you? Yes. Well, no, they're too expensive. I think we'll stick with Queen. We're going to order lunch in. Would you like some lunch? Yes.

What would you like for lunch? Yes. Do you have to go to the bathroom? Yes. Hey, we're going to forever tie your career to these weird fantasy sci-fi movies. is that okay with you? Yes. It rules. Obviously, yes, the parking lot fight is the whole movie.

It's dope as hell. It's just fucking wild. I mean, first of all, this man produces a sword from a raincoat. It's so cool. Again, you're imagining it's in 1986. You're just watching this movie. You know nothing about it.

You got a bizarre scroll from Sean Connery wrestling, and now this guy is just going to his car and a businessman with mirrored glasses. pulls out a fucking sword. Holy shit. It's just insane. It's just insane.

And like I, you know, it's one of those things where it's impossible, uh, for me to know what that was like. You know what I mean? Like I'm envious of anyone who just is like, sat down by a friend and the friend is like, you know what?

You have no idea what this is, but just watch it. And to watch that progression of like, all right, let's see. There was a weird scroll at the beginning. Kind of sounded like Sean Connery maybe. Huh,

that's weird. Uh, Okay, then there was the professional wrestling. Not sure what that angle is. Hope they come back to that at some point. Oh, and now there's a sword fight in a parking garage. Like, it's just insane. This movie really does go from like zero to what the fuck in 10 minutes.

And it's two people that you don't necessarily expect to be doing a sword fight. One guy's Christopher Lambert. It makes sense enough. The other guy looks like he trades in fake passports in a Michael Mann movie. He's in a three-piece suit. too. It's incredible. I mean, it really is. And, like, he holds his own for a little bit here with McLeod, honestly. And also the kinetic filmmaking here of, like, at one point, this guy drops his mirrored shades, and we see him running away through the reflection in it. They're doing a lot of tricks like that. It's a lot of fun. And then, I mean, that's the thing is, you know, it's a really cool, you know, somebody breaks into sprinklers, obviously. Now it's kind of like raining inside the fight. Really cool stuff. And then he cuts this dude's head off. You're like, wow, pretty cool.

And then all of a sudden he explodes with energy orgasms. I am interested in the rest of your film, sir. This is it. Yes. Like that's your fucking like whatever, like 10, 15 minute test reel. And then it's like, so folks, do we have a movie? Like absolutely. And then, yeah, oh, man.

And like, you're doing this and you're like, oh my God, I can't fucking wait. Let's go. 1593 Scotland. What? What's awesome about this movie. If you'll notice, they'll do, they'll pan. up and then when they pick up in the Scotland flashback it's also panning up and they also do this from the sides as well yeah the camera is kind of always moving and it's kind of seamlessly

bridging these two things it's very nice I I love the transitions of this yeah I mean it's a real testament to them because like this movie like theoretically like on paper right this movie should be incredibly jarring it goes back and forth between 1980s New York City and 1500 Scotland and you're just like you don't even really I mean you notice obviously but it's not as jarring as you would think it is

because I think they actually gave thoughts to how they would produce these transitions and not just like awkwardly cutting back and forth every single time and just putting like 1593 on the screen you know whatever I will say the one jarring transition is when one of the flashbacks closes on Lambert's face

and then it pretty much transitions into the Mona Lisa as a big advertisement for like the Met or something. Yes, dude, yeah, yeah. And that's a weird, that whole shot composition is weird. It made me think of like Blade Runner for a quick second. Yes. But yeah, that is kind of hilarious. It's like, both of us are beautiful.

What am I smiling about? You'll never know. I had to take that photo, that painting to the store, to get myself erased out of it. Leonardo da Vinci painted me into the painting. Yes, I was eating a loaf of bread behind her. Oh, man, it is an extra in the Mona Lisa. I would do a Kinko's Express in 1658 to remove myself.

How pissed off do you have to be, or how pissed off are you, to be literally everyone else at Madison Square Guard? and when you go to get your fucking car out of the line. Oh, my God. What the fuck, bro? You're driving in from Jersey, obviously, because everyone else will take the trade. Oh, come on.

You're going to fucking kidding me. My car's ruined. Holy fucking shit. I've got to be back to Bayonne in fucking two hours. That's not going to happen now. Oh, man. All the fucking auto shops and queens are like their managers are crying with joy. Finally some fucking work around here.

My kids get. go to college. It's just every fucking car is decimated. Every piece of glass in that parking garage is shattered. It's exquisite. I love a good quickening. Yeah, we're actually blowing up glass, which is more than a lot of the CGI movies do today, babe. That's exactly right.

See, you made fun of me. You made fun of me for taking my little radio A track with me out of the car. You made fun of me. but it was the right decision. Yeah, but Gruber would would be fine in this scenario. The car is decimated, but the fucking credence tapes are okay.

Yeah, so we get our first flashback to the Clan McLeod days. Yeah. And, you know, they're just sort of coming back. It looks like from like some sort of successful battle. I think they're going off to war.

Oh, they're going off to where. That's right. And like they're making fun of Lambere or the other guy. Someone's talking about pissing their kilt And it's like, oh, they're making fun of that dude, Angus, who ends up being, like, the guy who saves him. He's like, the good cousin or something. Yeah.

Angus pees his kilt all the time. Angus is the good cousin. Dugan is the bad cousin. And then there's this lady who's like, whatever you do, bring back his cook. Apparently, that's what they transitioned. He's like, yeah, I guess, no, she's just like, bring him back alive. and then Dugan, the bad cousin, is like, oh, yeah, we'll bring back his dick for you.

Don't you know what that brother? Bring him back in one piece. Like, we know what piece that is. Yeah. Hey, here's his severed dick. He was killed in battle heroically, but here's his fucking dead cock. Look, Daisy, his body was dead.

He was just decimated, crushed by three horses, but we brought the cock back for you. We did it. We brought it back for you. I was giving this some thought today. I think this is how you reboot this franchise in some way, television or otherwise, set it then. You got cock talk. Also, like, young Ramirez or so, what was his adventures?

Right. Here's the move. You go full remake, uh, and you get you and McGregor, you and McGregor as the good highlander, Gerard Butler as the bad highlander. Oh, he's like a Kyrgyn type. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You get Nicholas Winding Griffin to direct it. and Lembert as the Ramirez-esque figure.

Maybe he's Connor McLeod. He's probably Conner McLeod, right? That's a great idea. Yes. Also, I want my prequel TV show. Just guys in suits of armor is fun. See, what you want there, so what you're describing, actually, suits of armor, guys with the toilet talk and whatnot, you know,

giving weaners to ladies and stuff. Oh, yeah. That's just your game of trones right there. Exactly. Exactly, but that's kind of, I feel like that should be sailed. We'll see how this new thing is. I don't know. We'll see.

I mean, if it's done by the guy who did John Wick or one of the guys who did John Wick, so if it has that kind of universe, you could eventually have an HBO Max series like the young Fasel or like Ramirez in his youth. Yeah. So Ramirez, the early days in Egypt, dude, because that is a detail in this movie, Sean Connery is like, by the way, I was born two thousand. thousand years ago in ancient Egypt. I have his birthday written down somewhere. Oh, whoops. Oh, beautiful cat. I'm going to go prey to it.

Be right back. Ramirez. It's just the silly details. Sean Connery being Egyptian. Come on. It is a bit. It's a bit much. I'm trying to,

I wrote down how old he was at this time. I'm trying to find out my notes. Unfortunately, there's too many. He's the King of Spain's like special medallers. just and that really was like the most baller position at the time knowing about medals and like jewelry and shit you were on the fucking easy path okay I got it he's at the time okay so this takes place this flashback takes place in 1536 and he says he is 2,437 years old I don't know what that means I mean he's definitely before Christ and my hair piece is

1,237 years old. I was the first guy to say, hey, what's that guy talking about? Stop him. It's Jesus. Stop that guy. When this wig originally retired, it was on Bella Logosie, first movie.

I kept calling the Roman Chantorians, and I said, go stop him. Hey, what's that guy doing over there? Hey, you know, I don't want to be a tattletale or nothing. But, hey, Roman Chantorians, you might want to go take a look at that Jesus guy. It's me, Ramirez. He's getting into trouble. He's getting into it.

I don't know, he's rabble. He's getting up the masses. What's the buzz telling me? What's the buzz? Tell me, what's the buzz? Tell me, what's it happening? Let me ask you something. Is there going to be free food at this last supper?

Hey, Pharisees, just a one question real quick. What then to do about Jesus of Natharus? Perhaps if I get him killed, I can eat the whole supper myself. What did he ask for for his last meal? Was it chicken wings? Now just to frame this fella named Da Judas. You want to know who was making all that fuss down at the temple with those moneylenders, do you? It looks like Jesus didn't finish his bread.

I could take this for later. You know, you ought to, a governor, you ought to wash your hands of this. That's been the best idea. Pudge's pilot. Good guy. Good guy. But so, yeah, he goes off into war,

and this is when you do meet the Kyrgyn for this first time. The great Clancy Brown. Yes. he is so good in this too I feel like I've ever met Clancy Brown A I'd be terrified both from like Is this guy got to cut my head off And B holy shit this is one of my favorite actors ever

I would be like just I couldn't talk to him I couldn't talk to him no way There'd just be so many scenes You know moments in the conversation where he could have killed me I mean he could have killed me as the Kuergens right He could have killed me as the fucking stepdad And Pet Cemetery too He could have killed me as the weird fucking pastor on carnival

I'm not sure if I would ever do this anybody else, but I think I would like instinctually kneel at his fear. Like just like because of the size of him I'd be like, sir, sir, you have my sword. And by that I mean whatever pen is in my pocket. And this introduction with the bone armor is so fucking cool. It's kind of, he looks badass, dude. It's kind of fucking out of like the Mad Max universe. It reminded me a little. So my, what we're to understand is like, you know, he's a good Highlander hunter. So he knows

where these guys are and he just kind of goes around. So he like, was like, hey, I'll, I'll, you, you fight in the McLeod's today? Cool. Might have I join? And they're like, short dude in his skull helmet. Yeah. You're on our side though, right? Yeah. Remember our deal. I get, I get the boy and the boy is Connor McLeod at L.O.L. at that. Totally. But everyone avoiding him on the battlefield because they're afraid of the Kyrgyn is pretty cool. That is fucking hilarious because the other Kyrgyz, like, you know, Clancy Brown's like, no. Nobody gets him, he's mine, you know, the boy. And then, like, you know, it's Lambert, like, trying to fight people

and everybody running away. And there's definitely a moment where he comes off as, like, the little kid on the playground. Because he's like, hey, no one will fight me. Why won't anyone fight me? Everyone's running away. Please, please, somebody pick me for dodgeball. That's exactly what it feels like.

Hey, come fight me. Why are you running? I can't even play tag in this town. No fair, flat lever. You are a flat lever. Red Rover let someone who wants to kill me come off. But this like the other footage of the battle, just like some dudes getting drowned in mud absolutely.

The puddle beth is horrible. This other guy gets stabbed by a priest, which rules. Dude, I love when the clergy gets in on it with this. said this oh well i'm here well here's my question what is the is the kirkin kind of fucking the murdock clan because it seems like they get washed really yeah like at the end of it like most of it seems like a lot of the fucking the clan mcclough other than fucking you know conner comes back yeah well this is sort of like um when he's uh later in the film like getting into auto accidents he doesn't care about the the the plight of mortals or their life yeah that's what i'm saying i think

I think Clan Murdoch really got the fucking raw deal on this one. I think the guy that was trying to hire him was just like, why won't you help me? I just want the boy. They use that resentment to make a news empire. That's where it started, man. Only one survived. Sadly, yeah, the McLeod should have done a better fucking job, dude.

We would have a better place. Oh, absolutely. And I encourage anyone listening in the past to make what once went wrong, right. Yes, only one Murdoch survived. Albatross Murdoch, and he himself will carry on the name. I've got some weird ideas about the word news, what the definition of that is. Acme clan was slaughtered, better go to Australia and figure that shit out.

The news ain't going to be any class here. It's going to be very far from the truth. It's not going to be any class to the truth. It's going to be class of to marketing. Closset to public relations, really. Class of racism? I do love, he is doing, I mean, like, to his credit, Lembert doesn't know a word of English and is doing a Scottish accent through this thing.

Because he does drop it when he's like Russell Nash, but at the first, like, what are you doing? Ack, you are a haggass. He has a haggis. it's so fucking wild that he's supposed to be the Scottish one and Sean Connery is right there he must have been like

now wait a second who's the Scotsman you're telling it when I wait now you're telling me I'm from ancient Egypt and that caveman is from Scotland this is what makes it work in a way it's almost like the producers or something

we're doing everything wrong and somehow fucking lands hard Now, Ross, how much are you paying that boy, that Neanderthal that fighting me? How about you split his, and I do all the voiceover work for him, so a real Scotsman can be heard? It is kind of amazing. I don't know how apocryful this is, but one of the many people they were thinking about for McLeod was Connery, and he got the script, like, hey, how about you get, that's like a lot of pages for this McLeod character. Not so many on the Ramirez.

I'll be Ramirez But a million will do Because he did this in a week, by the way A week, yeah You'll get me for a million bucks in a week A million dollars in a week If he was nothing, he was a fucking You know, crafty businessman, dude

What a scam, man, Brando I'm definitely going to have to retire someday Okay, I've got a week to do it Oh, that's a lot Oh, a lot of lines for this of a cloud Ramirez gets his head cut off and act one, huh? Sounds like a good role for me.

He does have like 20 times the amount of dialogue that Lambert does though which is kind of funny. I love though that like he I'm thinking back to the hilarious bit of trivia about him turning down the Matrix because he didn't understand

the movie and you know being morphies or whatever and looking back now I'm like motherfucker you were in two highlander movies and czar does and you couldn't wrap your brain around the matrix man it's kind of i mean i mean this is the beginning of like the rest of his career which you know what i mean is almost mostly hits at that point you know what i mean after this name of the rose untouchables indiana jones and on and on presidio yeah i guess like indiana Jones and stuff he's playing second fiddle but like he was he was just like an icon like beyond movie star in a way yes it was just plug and play he could just sit in exactly

yeah you're you're paying for presents that's the number one name of the game i don't know what else you say you're doing with entrapment no no no that's true but i was going to say and what year was um red october that's are they 89 or 90 that sounds right 90 i think yeah i mean because i feel that that's my like starting point for like the connery that i kind of grew up with all those movies in the 90s that he was doing vaguely actiony you know obviously like the rock and shit like that um that's just always i always think of him like when i think of his face like i think of that era before i even think of like james bonn indiana jones and the rock and away like he's kind of a parody of himself yeah that's true and this is only three years after never seen ever

again so his career wasn't necessarily in the toilet but it was it was around the toilet you know what i mean i mean listen dude like looking back now all these years later like yeah i think this is a great movie but at the time you're doing highlander yeah your career's in the fucking toilet dude you're james bond you're james fucking bond and you're doing highlander you're playing ramirez yeah he doesn't know english i mean yeah oh good i don't teach that but apparently they were fast and good friends, Connery and Lambert there. That rules, man. I would love to be at that fucking

drunken brunch. Drunken fist-fighty brunch. Yeah. So, you know, he gets stabbed by the Kyrgyn. The Kyrgyn gets tackled by everybody. And there's a great Clancy Brown line. He was like, I'll get you next. He's like, I'll meet you next time, McLeod. This ain't over with. Kind of. Yes, dude. It is fine.

fucking professional wrestling talk. It makes total sense why he's at the garden. I'll see you in SummerSlam, McLeod. I'm going to put you in a fucking coffin, man. That's right, MacLeod. It's a coffin match. So in the present day, he's nabbed by the cops. The copse some plot kind of meanders and absolutely disappears, which is, you know.

I don't need an investigation into this guy. Like, sorry John Paul. Polito or whatever your name was. John or Joe? I always mix it out. John. John Polito. And then this other fucking old guy who kind of reminded me of Harry, what's his face, the character on Empty Nest?

I forget what his name is, but the only thing I know him from is he gets fucking killed brutally at the beginning of Lunkus Goodnight. He gets launched from a car that gets in an accident and he just gets thrown. This old man just gets fucking. It's amazing. Alan North, I guess he was in glory. Lean on me as the mayor. Cino Evil.

He's in the police squad. He was like one of the detectives. He's really funny on that. Oh, really? So he's played like silly cops and dumb cops. I definitely recognize his face more. Like he's been around. Yeah.

He would have you. He's in Serbica. Yeah. He gets, he gets arrested by this, this one beat cop. You know, and you know, NYPD's, they're being a little rough to a white guy here. I thought. I couldn't even believe it.

Well, you know, why, though, Steve? They're presuming he's a homosexual. That's, yeah, that makes sense. This is the part of the movie. One, you're just like, all right, B cop, like, you made this arrest, but like, get out of this interrogation room. It's fucking crazy to me that this guy is in this room, but it's only really to fucking use gay slurs against Christopher Lambert. I love Christopher Lambert's line in this scene because they had a theory that, like, he went down there. And like, he was going to buy this sword because he's an antiquities dealer.

And then, like, the deal went south. So he cut this guy's head off. He was like, I have a theory. Maybe he saw such a lousy wrestling tonight that in a fit of depression. He came down to the garage and cut his own head off. Man, the wrestling sure was lousy tonight, wasn't it? Bad match. Bad match.

The wrestling is usually of such higher quality. i'm just so sick of this three-bird storyline break up already we know it's happening we know it's going to happen not all of you can be cool with the use of the confederate flag it's just so repetitive isn't it you know they're just really just dragging this out for rassalmania i know i get sick of these shit sometimes i mean i paid money to come see this That's all I'm saying. I paid hard-earned money to come see this. That would be the last time because now I'm going to go to backyard wrestling where the real stuff is.

They're not even being played out to the real Leonard Skinner's song. It's a cover band. Jesus Christ. Hey, look, it's a fat high schooler being hit with a chair. I love backyard wrestling. Yes, this reminds me of the old days, eh, of the Scottish Moors, 16-year-olds. hitting each other with sharp sticks look at that little dweeb doing backyard wrestling he has his dad's baseball bat and some of his dad's nails in it yes just like in the highlands these sometimes

people get killed here it's beautiful it's wonderful and beautiful but yeah we do get an f bomb from this fucking this beat cop and you know blah blah blah because he like accuses because they're like what are you doing in a parking garage and uh you know he's he uses a slur and lambert's like why garfield you looking for a piece of ass and then the guy freaks out and just goes you went down to the garage for a blow job i love the idea this is highlander like okay so this guy in a three piece suit is also like an arts dealer maybe or whatever went down he was going to suck your dick for money and you didn't want to say for this fucking Toledo salamanca broadsword. That was the exchange. A million dollar sword. I guess people would suck Nick for that.

Oh, 100%. I do love. Yeah. So he's going to, he's going to do that. But then like, he decides to turn, turn tail on his, uh, his prostitute there and cut his head off in the middle of a fucking park garage and explode a bunch of cars. That makes sense. Yes. And somehow set off the sprinklers. Yeah, it was a real fucking rock and beach, dude. That's like an orgasm, man. Yeah. Instead of the quickening, it would be like, what, the org, no, I don't know. Look, you don't always have to take their heads off.

If you make them, if one Highlander makes another Highlander come, that also triggers a quickening. I don't know how. When I ejaculate, it's lightning. It's, and he does the thing, is like, am I on the arrest or what? And also, like, dude, I don't know. I know that you're being drawn to the gathering, but I'd be like, time to beat, get back to Scotland, getting a little hot in the big city.

Yeah, absolutely, dude. It is time to fucking, uh, 86 Russell Nash and it's new identity season, baby. Absolutely. Go literally anywhere. Well, yeah, you have to, he definitely has some real estate holdings in Scotland this many years.

He has to learn something. Yes, but I can't move over there permanently because I have to get my fix of live. professional wrestling. But I also love the idea of like, I'm just going to go over into Scotland and wait until everyone dies of old age

and then come back. Hopefully they still have wrestling in another 50 years. You know how sometimes they actually have to burn down for us for them to recede? That's what I'm doing with the human race. We also have Roxanne Hart here

who's a CSI. A CSI slash sword expert? Sure. Absolutely. Hey, everybody's got different specialties, I guess. It is kind of weird. Well, I mean, maybe that's like I went to college for something and now I work at the Oh, yeah. Yeah, the job market for like metallurgists at this in the 80s might have not been great.

Yeah. So she's like on the case, she like, first of all, these swords apparently are leaving chips inside of walls and stuff, man. Which is crazy. Like these would not pass the strength test on fortune fire, man. thank you because it doesn't make like what are pieces missing out of this cantona and now like is he going to reforge it is you to repair it exactly it doesn't look like it has any chips it was beautiful yeah it does yeah it doesn't look like it's been damaged at all but there's fragments of metal i guess

like you i guess they can't show like microscopic or not microscopic but you know what i mean like slivers yeah so they just show like these big fucking like double deck of staples You know, Mr. McLeod, your tang is a little off here. Shut up, you nerd. I own the sword 10,000 years before you. Fix it or shut your mouth, you piece of shit. Okay, Connor McLeod, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, your, uh, kill, we'll go in in the, uh, killed, Doug's kill test to behead Clancy Brown.

Clancy, you ready? Absolutely. Absolutely. I don't know, Greg. I think his tang looks a little bit off, don't you? I do like how he has to... The Kergan has to put his sword together. Like, it's like a sniper rifle from hell.

It's so cool. Yep. I was like, what fucking bell tower are you atop, Clancy Brown? What are you doing right here? First of all, the Kergan, which I love this character detail, I realize this last night, was like, he was waiting his entire life for heavy metal to be born. Like hundreds of years waiting for heavy metal.

And he's like, yes, oh, my God. These guys are, oh, my, oh, my God. I've been waiting hundreds of years for this. It's so funny because it's like all the metal covers of albums have people like him on it in the bone armor. Exactly. That's what they would have liked. This is so great. It's finally me seeing myself on screen.

This is amazing. You know, you know, this is amazing. You know, I've never, I've never been this inspired. I'm going to go kill another panther and take its bones and make a skeleton hat over. on my head for it. You know, I've been using this old one for so many years now, and finally, you know, this is beautiful. How many people do you think the Kyrgyn killed the night

Jethro Tull beat Metallica at the Grammy? It's like a lot. Oh, my God, dude, I think if you looked at the date of when that Grammy ceremony was, and then it was like the same night as some fucking mass murder in Idaho. That's what the Korgon was. Bullshit. Yeah. Bullshit!

He's going to ride the lightning. They use, hey, this is this is fucking ridiculous. They use a flute, there's a goddamn flute on that album. Isn't anybody else outrage? Don't you want to go cut some heads off? Jesus, Jesus Christ, Kiergen. Why did you behead 20 men? Well, they were talking a little shit about David Mustain. I can't be having that. I can't be having that. I'm sorry.

He let them off easy. I love the detail. Ramirez says in one of these flashbacks that he's from the steps of Russia and from an area where they would take children and throw them to a pits with hungry dogs and they would eat they would like fight over the meat

of the children. Immortal you know immortal race of super beings of course the Russian one has to be the evil one of course. It's it's the you know the whole eastern horde which I think is how a lot of people view our podcast this Eastern European horde

washed up on New York. and are now podcasted. We're the Kyrgyn a podcaster. I am wearing my bone helmet. We all have to sit on each other's shoulders to be even anywhere near as intimidating as Glancy Brown. But I'll try it. We'll do it.

We don't all show it, but you know, and Eric takes the brunt of it, but we all actually have Z's in our last name. I do love, he does have a very, the Korgans got a very terminator-esque, the Terminator like living situation he's going to a flop house yeah it's I was I was getting some basket case vibes because it's like a sleaze bag New York City hotel I love it there's even a guy that's like trying to talk to him

don't talk to the customers like this old dude that's hanging out drinking in the fucking lobby in this hotel that's man you know like when I find myself in one of them lobbies with a bottle of hooch and I have like some sort of rapport with the scumbag counter attendance like find me find me in that flop house and put a bullet in my head well that used to be a perfectly acceptable way to die is to fucking abandon your life hang out in the in a drinking quietly in the in a shitty motel lobby until it's time to go up to your shitty room and finally one day you die because your liver says goodbye everybody yeah you drink yourself to death and then like a six $16 a week flop house. Yeah, it used to be perfectly fine to do that.

Why not? Like, the goal is you become the guy in the blues brothers who yells at Dan Aykroyd, you got my cheese whiz, boy. Yes, because then you're part of the community. You know, and that's the thing is fucking America ruined it with credit cards because now you have to, even to get into a flop house, you got to have a valid card, man. Like, no, I've got 16 singles right here. That's how I'm spending.

Yeah. Maybe I don't want the government to track me at every moment. I've got 16 singles and one pair of underwear let me into this fucking hotel. No, this is not beer. This is not alcohol, sir. This is hooch. And you will let me drink it. So after he like watches Brenda take those sword fragments out of the wall, like he follows her to a bar, which is hysterical, this fucking creep.

Like she kind of thinks that, you know, she hears someone, you know, she does a whole like, hey, who are you or whatever? And she chases it, which is ridiculous. ridiculous. Totally, right? Someone spying on me in a parking garage better chase him. But they wind up downtown, just, actually I have to say geographically accurate to Madison Square Garden. They're just a little bit downtown at McMannis, big old New York improv scene bar. Oh, yeah. I didn't notice it. Oh, yeah. It's up and up front and center in this. It's pretty great. I believe they're hanging on by a threat. I hope they do survive. It's a fun. little bar for that especially for that fucking neighborhood

and great hamburgers if you're ever in town um solid hamburger solid solid hamburgers um it's true though the food is good and so and when you're in New York come on down to Peter McMannis and have a New York hamburger

or order the Highlander it's a it's a Haggisburger with extra cheese and a huge glass filled to the top with whiskey dude I would order the Islander at least once. Totally. Well, because that's what's going on here. Because Brenda, apparently a regular at McManus. She's very friendly with the bartender.

Because the guy's just like, say when, you know. And she just gets this huge glass of booze poured for her. It's pretty awesome. And he's like just like kind of creeping also in the bar. And he's like, medicine square garden. Do you go there often? And she's like, what? Sorry.

Sorry to bother you. I just came here after my set with my improv team. Good job, guys. Good job. We had an amazing, oh, you're walking away because you're a woman and I'm talking about improv. Got it. Yeah, I think Richard Lewis was in the audience tonight. I cannot imagine Richard Lewis sanctioning long-form improv.

Will you let me smoke? in the audience can I do that well then yeah yeah I'll say I'll see for it we're just going to need a one word suggestion from the audience oh I heard sword literally what I was going to say oh really because there was

you know what it's true though there always was the older guy in your older woman in your improv class and just like oh wow that person still getting out there you know he's 600 years old so he's you know I just wanted to meet some new people oh did I hear D-Day I apologize to the rest of my team All of my pop and historical references are so old

Hey Russell God, you're so funny and your monologues are amazing I don't even know where your ideas But you always end your scenes by beheading people And it's just really not cool Especially in a mono scene like that guy can't come back Yeah Russell we just run around the stage to end the scene Just so you know

Well, like, I don't know what you want me to do when you say the quickening is happening. Am I supposed to move around or something? I see a neck and I yes and it. I don't know what to say. Russell, you know, another great, great set tonight. You were really getting out there, really putting yourself on the line. I have to say, though, your object work appears to be nothing but you're always holding a sword. and so you can see that was problematic in the scene

where we were a family of four in a small car and you were supposed to be driving but you just sat in the folding chair and pretended to hold a sword I mean Russell that was a hell of a solo set but do you have to end every solo set the same way shooting yourself in the head and then saying see nothing

you know what I don't even need them I could just hold my sword on the subway and that's improv everywhere I am not wearing pants, but I am carrying a sword. Isn't that nutty? You can talk about it. That's crazy, right? I gave Del Close the idea for the Herald.

Okay, okay, it's showtime, everybody. Clear an area for our dancer. Clear the area. There's a boom box. Oh, yes. Oh man. So yeah, she's rightfully creeped out by this robot. And so he runs after her outside and then, oh, surprise fucking Clancy Brown attack. Look out below. She and she gets the score pretty quickly because I mean, I don't know. I mean, obviously Clancy Brown has to be the

villain because he's 17 feet tall and he's dressed in all black leather and like is laughing while he's trying to kill this guy. But she gives him a pipe and saves his life. He's about to get fucking quick. Dude. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty much. it is kind of great though because while he does have his own pipe at one point he's being beaten with a pipe mercilessly earlier in the fight and it is kind of hilarious and we got a police helicopter which is just one of many copter shots in this film it's gorgeous dude did everybody get the fucking chuckle at this uh copter pilot though because like the guy rolls up and you know it's like NYPD copter they got the spotlight

on Christopher Lambert and Clancy Brown fighting each other and the guy is like, hey, hey, and then they like kind of run and he's like, hey, get back here. Hey, hey, come back here. And like this cop just hilariously sounds so defeated.

It's the fun of this one thing. Well, you know, I can't really, oh, you're going to an alleyway. The one thing that I can't do. Oh, we can't fly down there. Honey, I lost a guy today. I don't know what I'm going to do. I never lost a gun before, Charlotte.

Oh, man, that guy cuts his own head off in a fit of depression. It is. It's so, yeah, and then she's like, they don't hook up here, right? He just kind of is like, thanks for the save. Goodbye. Pretty much, yeah. I think he tells her, like, it's one of those, like, you don't know what you're getting into. That's right.

Get the fuck out of here. And he goes home, and the thing that I, stunts me about this movie, because he hasn't gone home yet, really. as a character he goes home he takes off this really cool trench coat that he's wearing the whole movie

and he's had a leather jacket on underneath all the time like how are you moving your arms in a sword fight with a leather jacket

with a coat on top of it you get your head cut right off dude look some some people like the Steve

Bannon wardrobe you know several coats and shirts on top of several coats and shirts oh yeah I trained

Steve Bannon I don't know it was really sweltering hot at Madison Square Garden could have been the four coats I was wearing but I believe they need to put up

the AC well you know what it is though Steve right it's like I'm going to the premier wrestling event at the world's greatest arena I have to look great I'm going to wear my cool hip new leather jacket uh oh what's that

rain and like he doesn't want the leather jacket to get wet so thus the raincoat duster on top of it so he can still go out, use public transportation to get to the arena, and then look fucking cool. You got to put it inside out, Jerry Seinfeld. That's what you got to do. Dude, he is kind of dressed like Jerry Seinfeld through all of the present day material. We are talking tucked in t-shirts into bad looking jeans, the sneakers. It's kind of great. It is kind of great. Like, it's kind of great. I mean, even the Nazi regalia is a bit of like almost.

Almost pirate shirtess, when he's, when he shoots the Nazi, when we have the little Nazi interlude. All right, all right. Well, he wouldn't be wearing Nazi regalia in that. Well, his, his regalia in the Nazi era then, Eric. Right. Now, since we're talking about the Nazi scene, this was something that was cut out of the movie for years and years and years. I see why. It makes no sense.

Well, of course it does. Oh, look, look, you don't know he's a good guy. He has to kill a Nazi. Okay. Look, look, we just got to make sure everybody. knows he's a good guy so he's got to kill a Nazi that's not what it is that the girl is now the woman that's running his business yes that's what i've been trying to say that's that's a huge plot point you're right that matters a lot to the movie why everything doesn't be a fucking

plot point Chris Cabin's a fucking two second scene a fucking movie I'm arguing you with me Chris but I agree that the movie kind of plays better for me without it because it's like first of all it makes it a little faster run time yes but it might be just like another piece of cheese too much on the Highlander sandwich. Well, I kind of agree with you, Eric. It's one of those things where it's like, all right,

we're either doing Connor McLeod throughout time or we're not. And just one Nazi seed here and a weird fay duel we get later as well. Yeah. It's not really adding a lot to like, this guy has lived a really long life kind of a thing. It's kind of not enough. Like if you're going to do that,

you've got to do it more. Exactly. Like, I actually think that this franchise would be great with just one and done. Like, don't make sequels. But at least in the third movie, we lean into like the French Revolutioners and we get more of that. And it's kind of more interesting to see that shit when swords mattered. I just, I just don't need him being the full Wolverine and he was at every conflict, every major conflict that ever happened in the history of time. Hey, Kiergen, let's go back to back and get them.

did you fight with the South Kugan? It's at least not like he's like that fucking Wolverine movie and it's like, and then I assassinated Hitler. Like he's just there, you know what I mean? I don't know. I think it's great. I fucking love it. It's a fucking hilarious

line that he says to the Nazi. I assassinated Hitler a little too late. I did it in the bunker at the very end. No one knows. But I will say, I will agree with you, Eric. I do, I like the, I mean, I guess this is just

an aesthetics thing, but I prefer Highlander, like, the fact that two dudes in, like, bad jeans and, like, whatever, in front of Madison Square Garden are fighting with swords, I think it's more cool than when everyone's got swords. It's like, whoa, swords. Yes, it's way fucking

better, dude. A huge sword fight in a metropolitan area where there were never sword fights normally. Absolutely. When I'm in, when I'm in, like, Scotland, and that's, I guess, also why I like those other cutaways because like I'm not just looking at fucking hills and flashbacks like I just

appreciated going other places and it's just enough where it's like I understand either way that he's been alive for 400 years but like the fact that it dips in a little bit I'm okay with like it doesn't have to go full fucking interview with the vampire us through the ages

shit but like you know what I'm saying is if he decapitated the Nazi maybe I'm okay but he Rick Dalton's him he just blows him away. Unless the Nazi was a fucking, you know, Islander himself,

why would he get decapitated? Oh, just willy-nilly. Just decapitate people. That's what your business is. I get so bored with nothing but decapitations. My major problem with the scene is I've seen the movie like probably 200 times.

And I've seen it mostly the American theatrical version, which was initially broadcasted on television. And now the only source that's available is, the international slash directors cut or whatever they're calling it and it just jars me because i'm like i know this movie beat for beat yeah a new scene that's kind of where i'm coming from with it i think it it's i mean his retort is like oh yeah the master race it's it's we're getting we're getting it to like last action hero maybe it is he's like yeah he calls him jack which is like at least 30 years too early but you know you should call him jerry which what they called

fucking Germans in the war. Look, if I get a Christopher Lambert, Hey, Claudius, then I'll be very happy. If I could get something like that going, I'd be very happy. Oh, yes, something is rotten in Denmark. Hey, Claudius, you rat, fuck.

She's using totally inachronistic language. I'd love that. So, um, in the highlands, um, uh, blah, blah, Connor gets ousted by his clan because they're like, he's a witch. Oh, he's in concert with the devil.

And the lady is the one that's the most extremely against him. Yeah, I mean, she was down for that D unless that D is possessed by the other D, big D devil. Oh, fuck a devil dick, dude. Oh, man, whip out the double D. You'll never survive the devil dick. Oh, definitely not, dude. I think that's what they called the Dildo in seven.

This summer, Christopher Lee is back as Devil Dick. Get circumcised this summer, 1976. Exactly. Yes, you know, over the years playing Draculia, my role in Lord of the Rings, et cetera, et cetera, I always go back to playing the prestigious role of Devil Dick. You know, I've played Dracula like seven, times, but I would have played devil dick 70 times.

And yes, before you, you guess, yes, I was in a big prosthesis walking around like Eddie Murphy as Gumby, but as a beak red to penis. The only devil dick with the only triple X feature I was ever in. I know it sounds weird, but actually true. Peter Cushing was in that one, right? Yeah, he was. Yeah, as he played the guy try. We must find the devil dick and cut it all.

It is I, Father Johnson. Yes. Father Johnson, excellent. You may fuck when ready. But so he gets ousted and he settles down with another lass in a different part of the highlands. Heather. Heather. I wonder how far it is.

It's like, hey, Heather, don't go two towns over. bunch of assholes they don't know anything they're gonna tell you a bunch of stories about me totally fake they're gonna say i was dead or something total bullshit also i never dated anyone named rene don't ask about rene i know that you really love two towns over's farmers market but you just have to pretend it went out of business baby now head now head If you ever, ever hear from a man named Dugan, he is not related to me. He's a crazy man who roams the streets saying I'm his cousin. Oh, you thought my name was McLeod since you've, no, no, it's been McLeod this entire time. You've all you've misheard me, Mick Loud, because I'm such a yeller. I love this fucking individual castle tower he has. I'm like, did he build this?

Is it 1600s now? No, I think it's like a, uh, oh look, the family died in here. They died. They fell apart when my sword went through them. I don't know. Yeah,

I don't know what this castle, like what is, are you supposed to just have dinner in it? Like what, what is going on? It looks like it's a staircase. It's a staircase to nothing in it. It's a dinner in a show.

Uh, so we're doing some fucking in a field because we love each other so much. And here comes Ramirez. I'm sorry? I just said a good old fashioned field fuck, Steve. That's all. Yeah. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Nice. Roll in the field. Dude, but yeah, here we go. Juan Sanchez Villalobos Ramirez. And before you ask, yes, I was watching you have sex before I decided to make my presence known. I've been here for 20 minutes. Your Cocker exquisite. And just before you're asked, I can go through that name

one more time for you. Juan Chances, Villa Lobos, Ramirez. It's actually four parts. It sounds like five, but it's four parts. I love the whole peacock feather cape he's got gone. Dude, this outfit of his is the fucking dope as shit, man. I mean, because

like that's what's so awesome about Highlander is that like take any part of this movie, not any part, but a lot of parts of this movie, leave them on their own like just think about them on their own it's some of the dumbest shit you'll ever see in your life but for whatever reason when it's all combined together in this movie highlander a costume like sean conneries in this movie looks so awesome i would i would suggest to you that you could walk into anywhere with a peacock cape and people will listen to you they might think you're crazy but they are going to listen to you for sure you can command it go into court go into court like on like you got a speeding ticket just going in there with a fucking peacock cape on trust me the judge won't know what to do in your mind you think you look like sean connery but you look like homer simpson and the boo-boo oh yes exactly i don't think you're going to look

quite as sharp as uh a 1986 sean connery chris i'm just going to guess look i'm not saying you're going to be the handsomest bell at the ball there i'm saying you're going to get some attention. And this especially like this curated facial hair he's got. It's cool. It's a good look. And the piece is working for him. I mean, it's a piece but it's working.

I'll take a piece of that action. Is the facial hair also a piece? I think he could grow it. I don't know. So he explains Highlanderism which is fun. You've been inflicted with a terrible disease.

Maybe you weren't a paying attention during my toilet rant at the beginning. Here it is again. It looks like your mother was smoking too many shards but during pregnancy. Oh, that sounds sexual. Too bad your mother was laying with the devil's dick. And now, yop, you're a Highlander.

Just the name Christopher Lee Ringabel. You know, the crossover in the legend of Highlander, and Devil Dick made me think that there'd be some renewed interest in the Devil Dick franchise, but unfortunately, I never played Devil Dick again. Yeah, you'll notice

there is a reference, of course, to Devil Dick in the Highlander film. At one point you can see that Christopher Lambert, the star of the film, has a hard on. And I thought that was really a wonderful, a wonderful little homage to our film. Yeah, that's an Easter egg. Wait, is he

flashing some wood in this movie? I'm just making a joke. Ah, damn. Got me all ready to fucking rewind. I mean, you might be able to. Who knows? If you watch this movie enough, you'll eventually, like, your mind's eye will present you, Christopher Lambert's dick. You'll get a bulge. Some visual trickery

will bring a bulge to your eye. Wait a minute. Visual trickery. I'm the real deal. So, yeah, he's sort of, yeah, just like Steve said, trains him in Highlander ways and in better sword fighting, I guess, because that is the other thing. He is stabbed immediately on the battlefield.

This guy doesn't know his fucking sword from his ass, man. And these drunken scots are like, oh, go, McLeod, here's your sword, you'll do fine. And then the fucking Kyrgy just ganks him immediately. Hey, what is this thing? Which end do I hit with? am i supposed to throw it at him am i supposed to be bleeding and hurting when i hold it

oh am i i i'm holding the shoppin oh wait where do i plug this in where do i load the sword i don't the death has to be loaded into the sword right the training is cool and it gives it gives us time for like buddy shit it is i mean and this is the thing i would be i mean look i mean i mean i understand it's cool to cut people's heads off and yes it makes you more powerful quickenings are fun I'd be looking for more and more Highlander buddies like I'd be

you know looking around I'm like hey man oh cool like I would use my Highlander said to be like yo dude you want to get a drink awesome what were you what have you been up to what's your journey like seems like he's got that relationship with that dude Castagar yeah totally like he's got some buddies and I think that that's what

obviously that's one of the many problems with our friend Kurgan he just needs to open himself up to male friendships I agree with that. Yeah, man. That dude is like going his own path and it's fucking dark and dangerous, dude. You got, you folks out there. You need a dude support system. I just don't get it. I invite everyone over to my apartment. We're supposed to watch heavy metal and then nobody shows up. Next thing I know, the cruditates spoiled. No, I think it's over with. I tried to get them to go to a motorhead show with me and they said no dice. Well, I guess I'm just going to have to kill everyone there. I'm going to rule over this land and I guess Lemmy will be my subordinate. Oh, definitely. I mean, you do get, I do like the buddy stuff here in the training where like, yeah, you're going to have to balance on this boat now. You better not fall in the water.

What's that he say? Oh, you can't swim, boy. Oh, just like, oh, no, stop it. I'm going to fall. I told you already, you Spanish peacock. I can't swim. when he falls he goes help help

and he goes to the bottom and he learns he could not breathe underwater I don't know how this works but he's surviving underwater is yes he does he laugh underwater dude it is insane

and he's also like I don't know it's it's definitely supposed to be he's talking out loud because they make it sound all like bubbly but he's just like I breathe a dab here I'm not rounding bang it's just fucking ridiculous

and he's like sitting there on a rock just underwater laughing he's like doing some sword play down there he's like cutting seaweed and shit of course you can you can breathe underwater you're just got to eat the bubbles and avoid the squids when they try to bounce up and down but you must make sure to eat the bubbles also and you hear the noise that goes

but but dat dat dat dat it means you're running out of air Better find an air bubble, Sonic. Oh, my God. Wow. Now, that's a Sonic reference. I almost thought it was a Teenage Muti Ninja Turtles video game reference. I thought we were talking Super Mario 64. I was doing Mario because of the squids.

Yes, it's right. The bubble also, yes. But remember that Teenage Mutual Ninja Turtles game? It was impossible to get past the... Yes, that first one for Nintendo. That game is the hardest game anyone's ever conceived, and I don't understand it. I do not understand it. It's just the cruelty behind the creation.

of that video game is something I'll never understand because it's like you're making this shit for kids yeah it's the ninja turtles I mean come on for babies you know what it's the hardest fucking shit check the back of that cartridge I bet it says silver shamrock yes well no the kids have to learn they will be defeated they will they will kneel to video games they will not they will not beat them all that is actually the the moment I gave up on life that is right are the the barriers were down you see

between Michelangelo and Raphael Splinter might be looking in there is a dumb as shit little sight gag

that happens though like Sean Connery they cut to him and he's like just made a fire on the side of the lake here and they see

you see Lambert like walk out all Jason Vorhe's like and everything and I don't remember what Sean Connery says was, oh, how was your dip or whatever?

And Lambert, dude, a fucking fish falls out of his kilt. Come on. That was pretty stupid. I liked it. Eric,

you're a Highlander expert. I thought I understood Highlander powers, the do's and don'ts. What is with the stag all of a sudden? Oh, yeah. It never comes up again.

I never understand even what it is. like it is like feel the power of the stag and he starts running even faster and i'm like but how and does he need to be around livestock to be truly immortal like i'm really confused i mean i feel like this is obviously an idea that's kind of fallen by the wayside with with sequels and tv shows well i don't know about the tv show but i guess the idea is like you can you can commune with the animal and yeah and lock into their power because i guess in the end of the movie when he finally wins the prize which is taken away from him in multiple sequels

but they say you could be one with like all living beings so I guess like if you're next to an animal and you can just like tap into like I don't know how great they run yeah well they like it's illified but there's a fucking banger queen song so shut

the fuck up yeah it's a good one it is kind of ridiculous and I even I mean I didn't even look into it that much I was like oh he's just having some fun on the beach. It's like the end of the training, you know, and he's like, now for the most important lesson. Now McLeodius, there can be only one, but you have to understand there will be other ones born, and they can technically take the title away from you. It's really complicated. You'll see in the sequels. I don't know what to tell you. Oh, also we're aliens. By the way,

yeah. We're totally aliens. Worst decision they could have made for that sequel. The third movie they're just like yeah it's the third movie forget that second movie though just pretend that the third movie is the second movie you're following along is there some other because i don't remember from our episode on the on the second movie but is there some like alternate cut out there that like fixes some of that or not so much yeah there's something called the renegade cut yes yes and i don't really uh i don't think i've i might have seen it once i think that has some war war two stuff at steve oh okay or some kind of war scene i don't really remember it too clearly but uh yeah oh good that's what i need that's yeah i need a con of a cloud in korea what i was just fucking

jonesing for i mean the the bummer of that that's now we've also we've done episodes on on highlander two and three if you're a new listener you can find that in the feed or the archive wherever they may be, check out WHMpodcast.com for that complete listing under WHM Prime. But, yeah, I feel like that's, that second sequel diminishes a lot by making them aliens from another planet that come down to earth and this is it. It's too much in the stew. You don't have to add, you know, meatballs into your stew as well. I love the idea that there's a really, they never even try and get, it's like the X-Men rule. It's like, it's cooler if you don't know.

certain people can do this certain people can do that I don't know where it comes from and then the third movie it's just like well whatever now it's just he's Christopher Lambert's raising this kid and he has to fight Mario

Van Peebles I would prefer them to stop talking about like what the whole thing with the Highlanders is I understood it the first time and get more of the stuff like with Connery like Shaquo the love I always knew thank you this is what I'm talking about this

prequel series Ramirez coming soon. Yeah, yeah, totally because yeah, this is where he drops that he's 2,000 years old. In 593 BC, he got the sword that he still has and it was made for him

in Japan is the idea. He's trying to explain to him like, by the way, that Heather, yeah, pretty Bonnie lass, yeah, yeah, you have to throw that shit to the curb immediately. Let her go, brother. Oh man, she just brings you down, dude. She brings you down.

You want to go to the pub with your pals? Guess who's going to be given your guff? Heather. It's fucking true. Here, I got you a book. It's called I hope they serve beer in hell. It's going to help you with your single life. Oh, yes, that's right. Max Tucker,

one of the mortals. A mortal philosopher. Oh, yes. I mean, I think that's the thing is like, oh, here's the bad news. You can't ever have kids. Hey, great, pretty cool. No condoms. Yes, now I can spend the rest of eternity not wrapping it up. Oh, man. So he could probably, like, he'll get STDs and it's not a big deal, but he'll spread them. Yes. Is that how that would work? I think that's what's happened. Yeah, he carries

it, I think is the idea. He don't give a shit. Highland, I don't care. Oh, yeah. I mean, he's patient zero. He's like probably is still carrying around the black plague and like, the 80s. Yeah, this, the lady of Brenda that works at the police station, once they have sex, she just deteriorates into slime. Yeah, it's like a fulci movie. Everybody he fucks just melts. Oops, well, you just had to have it. This summer, you'll never survive. The melt fucker. But yeah, so Ramirez tells this tale of he was married to this woman. Shikiko, says Sean Connery.

Shikiko in some point in Japan, yada, yada, yada, yada. You know, she got fucking old and died and you're an immortal dude, and that's horrible to watch all your friends and acquaintances and loved ones die around you. So you, I guess, can be that more than anything should be like, now take this card, all this information about where you can find the rest of us Highlanders, because we're the only fucking friends you can have. and that should be there should be

this Immortals community where they're just like going to the movies catching a nick game maybe sword fights except for that Korgon what a motherfucker

that guy is Buzz kill you know what this might this might not make a lot of sense but if he won the prize the mortal world of men

would descend into an eternity of darkness don't follow up on how any of that would happen nope no no further questions at this Highlander press conference. Especially since the sequels

kind of retcon it that the prize is just mortality, but anyway, you could hear everyone's thoughts in the world at the end of this movie. Oh, by the way, another thing I just happened to know, can't fight on sacred ground. Just, yep,

I woke up and I had a dream where that happened, so I'm just going to tell. I'm going to repeat it like it's fact. It's tradition. None of us would break it. I had a dream and I saw script changes in it. So, I mean, this is one of those things where it's like, you know, couldn't we maybe, just maybe have some sort of idea of sacred ground that's not just a fucking church?

You know what I mean? Like a graveyard. Whatever. I mean, these beings are thousands of years old in some cases. Like, I don't know. Just a fucking church. Come on. Oh, Christianity is still like the new thing.

It's like, I don't know, man. Yeah. Hold up Highland. he's walked into a blockbuster that is sacred ground he might be looking for a new release or an old favorite we better go along

yeah I believe the sacred ground is close to where the airheads are you're talking about the airheads candy yes yes there we go first of a second I thought the movie and I was like what were those guys doing

are those guys Highlanders you can get air you can get airheads you can get popcorn born right there at Blockbuster. That's right, you get the delicious buttery act too, Popper. Listen,

Connor, every decade we decide what is the new holy ground, okay? And at the Highlander Council, we have every hundred years.

In the 1970s, it was just a porn or theetus. You have sullied this ground with TGI Friday's potato skin potato chips. Yeah. In the 1990s, it was T.J.F. Fighters. You couldn't fight in a T.J.F. fighters. I really wanted the 1980s location of our sacred ground to be Burger King.

I was vetoed by the Highlander Council. I tried to take his little crown, and they said there could be only one Burger King. But I said, I am the Burger King. In the early arts, it was a pack son. You couldn't fight inside of a burger. Pacific Sunware but you could buy some great board shorts and a Hawaiian shirt to beat the band

I think this poster looks pretty sharp I exclusively buy sunglasses at pack sun so you don't forget that I've been dead for 500 no oh whoops

yes and I come back to life in the future which is 2007 shop thing in Highlander, too. So he's, you know, Connor McLeod's out somewhere, I guess he's getting like milk or something down the road and good old, you know,

Ramirez and his wife are, and McLeod's wife are having a good, you know, just at a friend's dinner and he's like, I was once bagging this lady. How about this fun story? And she's like, fucking great. And she's like, ah, ha, ha, ha, ha. When does Connor get back exactly?

Dude, they need... some kind of line because this whole shit goes down like here comes the kergan he comes calling this whole shit happens was connor mcclough taken a shit where was this guy it's like you need some because there's nothing right it that scene starts with it's the two of them it's Heather and ramirez they're sitting at a table inside the tower just getting fucked up on wine and he's like yeah he's just he's like about to tell some kind of dirty story but there needs to be something like well Connor should be back any minute right you know or any there could be like a thing where he like he he he's like oh I got to go back and defend the village even though they cast me out like he needs to like maybe a scene that will help him cut his former life completely out yeah to prove that he's the better man or something I would have loved it if that you know Ramirez is sitting down he's like so yeah I was I was standing outside the cave and then yeah he came out shop as a fiddle came out and he was resurrected it was pretty amazing i i thought he was dead for good i'll be honest i said jesus i really did

the best to get ye killed then i went i said he's getting away i mean we could always just do it again you know you know kill him again i mean christ might have been a highlander exactly they didn't cut his head off dude yeah fatal mistake man um so kirkin shows up and it's a cool fight scene yes they're fighting in this weird tower that Connor lives in where the stairs literally go nowhere but it's it's because he's building his dream

home and I love the fact that like the Kergin is so strong at this point I mean he's absorbed so many quickening souls or whatever he's hitting the fucking wall of this shit and it's just coming down dude it is hilarious and you're looking at all these like prop bricks just fall over on Sean

Connery I absolutely love it And this, this right here is my favorite look of the Kyrgyn, because Clancy Brown, in this sequence specifically, looks like if Joey Ramon was in Guar, like, that's how he's dressed here, and it's fucking awesome. Both things rule. Well, here's the thing that I don't understand about Highlanderism insofar as, so Ramirez gets a good cut on the Kirk and nearly takes his head off

but doesn't. Yeah. A. Ramirez should win this fight. He's got the advantage now. This dude's bleeding from his fucking throat. Yeah. B. Why does it scar? If that's the case, shouldn't these guys be totally scarred forever like all over the place kind of a thing? I guess. Yeah. It's a kind of, I mean, it looks cool, which I think is the answer.

But I think, you know what I mean? Maybe because like the neck area, right? Like that's the only area that will do you in. right as you know so like that area maybe can scar because like you could get your head chopped off like if you got your arm chopped off you wouldn't die it's more sensitive so like when a highlander jacks off there's rubbing their throat like oh yeah I mean well all these highlanders were like getting the best swords you know hidden in the deepest darkest I would be getting the best neck protector yes that they've got a steel perfect like the best metal on earth to make a neck protector or like that's the thing about this fight so ramirez and kirgan are fighting and like he gets ramirez down on his knees on the stair staircase to nowhere and like he just beheads and i'm like if i'm a guy who could just survive anything why am i just not rolling on the flukkin floor yeah totally you know what here's the thought i had last night watching it you know uh we in this whole sequence where ramirez is training him and everything he this is

where he talks about at least fucking 2,000 years old, ancient Egypt, all that shit. I think Ramirez is just kind of over it. Absolutely. And he's like, you know what, Kerrigan? Yeah, dude, I mean, I could have totally kicked your weird ass, but like, I'm over it, man. I fucking sort of the pyramids built. He's trained someone. He feels like he's got a successor. And him cutting the Kergan's like neck is him, this is like, well, he could have done it. Or, you know, like they're they're equally matched like no no shade to ramirez even though he died shakiko baby i'm coming i'm coming home shakiko i want to see him as a fucking little angel like trying to fly to heaven chakiko i'm coming to get you chakiko and your weird father

dude these fucking immortals they're not being allowed into heaven come on you know they're plunging you hell oh hell people yeah totally it's kind of a rad thing thinking about it though in that neck scar because it's like you know Kyrgin has gone around for centuries just murdering highlanders left and right murdering these immortals murdering just regular people there was the the baby pit toss thing that we were talking about like you know but like he doesn't remember any of those guys it's like remembering a shit you took to him but he will always remember Ramirez the one who fucking scarred that neck man totally ultimate victory for Ramirez here.

He lives in infamy on Clancy Brown's neck and he can finally be done with this planet. Yeah. Win, win for me, man. I get to be part of Clancy Brown and be dead. Sounds good to me. The post-Ramirez quickening is awesome too because it makes more of this tower fall down.

And it's implied right here and we learn later that afterwards he takes advantage of uh or he assaults um yeah mcloud's wife you know heather yeah heather and uh mcclough comes back and you know it's she's just like that you know she doesn't say anything and they kind of live the rest of their lives she ages really well and i guess like at the end when she's super old she's like what 46 i guess is my guess yeah i mean you take you take this young actress and you put a fucking uh white wig on her Connor it's time for me to go I'm going to die from good looks with all this age

makeup on she sort of looks like Bonnie Bedelia um we get the great I think around like we're watching her age and we who wants to live on oh yeah dude the fucking music I mean it brings it all together and the fact that like the queen music is like structured around the story it just elevates that story. Well, that's what I was saying at the beginning. It's like, this, this story does have a very proggish feel to it. You can imagine like a Canterbury scene type band doing a narrative like this, like a camel. Yeah.

Hawkwind has an album about the Michael Moorcock character Elric. There you go. Yeah. I mean, this is, it's a concept album specifically. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Yep.

I would totally. I would totally buy that. And, yeah, the cool fucking animated VHS bonus thing that came along when you bought the tape at fucking strawberries. Yeah, definitely. Oh, man, the last track is a 10-minute jam called Shakiko.

Oh, yes. Chakiko, we're going to Shakiko. Bwagabong. Bwam. Wow. Um, around here, we get back to the present day. and it's the fucking great Pilitos eating those

Doritos. Yes. Love that stuff. Because it's like the fucking last gasp of like anyone giving it shit about these police characters really. Yes. Nobody could because I mean it's obviously a window into her what's her name? Brenda. Brenda. Because she's and you know she's

obviously the love interest. She's got more to do and say but yeah you just see like Polito eating these Doritos next to this other detective it's like okay guys sounds good they're like i don't know sure are a lot of fucking beheadings lately in the big apple i feel like they unload all the like really gross shit onto like not only do they have the weird like oh you wanted to blow job scenes they also have this there's this really weird racist thing where they're like oh what are you like a vietnamese neighbor they ate your dog or something oh like it's just some random fly off line i'm like why are these scenes here and why are

these lines here. By the way, at the start of this episode, I think I mentioned there was a burning cross in this movie, and it's at the Clan McLeod, like, when they're going into the initial fight, which I just don't even understand what that's about. Well, I think in that case, it's not, you know. No, I know, but, but maybe the Kergin was the good guy. Let's just say it. Maybe the Murdox and the Kergan were on the right side of history. I agree with that. Those people are into what? Oh, get me my skull. Oh, I'm going to enjoy this quickening. By the way, there's a flashback as well to the 1783.

He meets Castagher at the Central Park Bridge. And it's like they talk about like drinking and this prior party where he called a this like royalty guys. I don't know. It's America. I guess that just means a rich guy now. the rich guy's wife a fucking bloated warthog so they have to duel

and he just keeps getting up after he keeps getting stabbed it's kind of hilarious in this like weird Barry Lyndon situation that he's gotten himself into because like yeah this is him like

blowing up his own spot because like he's giving away the secret of like ah ah you can't kill me that easily the only way you could even kill me was to cut my head oh shit

did I do it again but this is what makes this movie good I mean there's many reasons but I like that it's got a sense of humor and it's like a guy that's been around this long he's gonna have days where he's just drunk whatever what are you gonna do? Yeah totally and this is just when an immortal says

fuck it it's like whatever whatever you can try to execute me in this duel tomorrow I'm going to wake up and start a brand new life so you can eat my dick yeah why don't you try to shoot me Barry Lindon My life is like Groundhog Day, okay? It's a movie that hasn't come out yet, maybe in a few hundred years. Side of your eyes, side of your eye.

I'm teaching this ground dog how to drive because I've lost it. Yeah, pancake breakfast, please. Yeah, so, oh, well, she comes over or he goes over to her apartment at one point. This is the date where he brings scotch and he finds out that John Polito in his last scene is like doing a stake out of her apartment and he realizes she's part of the police and it's like, that kind of doesn't matter either. Like, it's just sort of there. None of it really matters.

the only thing that was driving me crazy through this whole scene is like when he gets there one he kind of pulls a vampire thing which is weird he's like well should we have the whole meal in the hallway or are you going to invite me in and she's like oh oh sorry

you know and then she offers she's like she's like oh uh you know thank you for coming can I take your coat and he goes no that's fine I'll hold on to it and then like two seconds later this dude walks into the living room and just throw frozen over a chair.

And I was like, dude, that's exactly what she was trying to prevent them fucking happening. Guaranteed there's a coat closet that she spent part of the afternoon clearing out so she could put your goddamn coat in it and you're just tossing furniture,

you pig? I mean, I think it's rude enough to throw your coat there, but he's going through her thing. He finds a tape recorder. He finds her gun. He's got no problem. I said,

interesting view. Oh, that's in response to a fucking cop that's downstairs. Oh, and the running tape recorder, which was for some reason in your briefcase. But then, like, she's, is she trying to like, is she trying to get the fucking drop on him with this recording or what is the deal? Because she's working with the cop. She is a cop. I guess she's, like, trying to figure that out. But also at the same time, she also kind of wants to fuck him.

It's like kind of, yeah, 50-50. And then she wants up going going the fuck route. Yeah, that's, it's real, that's the real inner turmoil of her character. should I fuck this guy they don't get down to fucking until a little later though this date goes sideways because he's like yeah there's a fucking

cop outside and you're recording me for some reason and oh she gets pissed off because he's like I brought you a gift and it's like her book that she wrote on like the history of metallurgy or whatever and she gets furious with this guy yeah they call me Highlander

not Datlander. I'm not so good at the dating scene, guys. That's a job for my cousin, actually named Datelander. Dude, Datelander, better movie.

So what? Do you want to maybe go to a movie and, I don't know, maybe what a burger? I don't know how to do this. I really don't. Welcome to Datelander. What we do here is it's kind of like that show the bachelor but it takes place over a thousand years oh yes oh meredith aged out and died of old age she did not get a rose yeah they have a matchmaker's show and it's hosted by the cryptkeeper wait a second the krugan wants to interrupt my date and take her to a private area i don't know about this

more after the commercials they're gonna leave me one On Datelander! Now we're back here on Datelander, and it's time for the final round. Everybody's favorite. It's the sword fight. Ladies, are you ready to see which Datelander you go home with? Now it's time for the Datelander breakdown. Brought to you by Progressive.

Oh, so I got to second bait with her. I got to second base with her. Third base with her. This is the breakdown you want, yes? Yes, thank you. Thank you, Kogan. Thank you so much for coming by. Brittany F shall be mine, Datelander. Not you could have Brittany B though, but Britney F is mine. I'm burn down the mansion, Datelander.

Man, what a cliphanger to end this season of Datelander on. I'm not coming back for a second season, Daytonaander. finish this now. But you have to. We have to date to the end. There could only be one date, Landa. Yes, and back up next. We're going to have

Castagir's head here to talk about what happened. Yeah, they've become once they get their head removed, they become a broadcaster. Yeah. A commentator. Yeah. Now, Castagir, you lost your

sword fight to the Currigan pretty easily in that alley. Uh, were you just over it? Were you over the whole game? Well, you know, I had had the boom boom juice right before I went into battle, but I think Kyrgyn did what was right. Yeah, I'm not here to make friends, actually.

And casting here actually tried to throw me under the bus a little bit. All right, so after today's round, Kiergen, I'm proud to say you have immunity next week. Yeah. Now, Ramirez, you know, your head has been here many, many times.

We've had you on many times. But what I need to ask you tonight, how do you think? How do you think Connor McLeod did fucking Brenda? How do you think he did there? Do you think he really took her to pound town or what? Fine form, but not as good as me in Shaquico. One thing I do admire about these Highlander pictures is there's always the sucking of a nipple.

Dude, what are we doing? We are licking tits in this movie, too. I couldn't leave it. We are licking tits in the third movie as well. well it's god bless it's the mid 80s and sex scenes needed to be disgusting it's also well i mean i you know we we say bring sex back to movies a lot on this show sure and this is what it is guys that's a fair point this is the trifecta though this is like are you a little boy want to watch a sword fight what how about some licking touch yeah totally and this is dude and and and i'm i'm

so grateful uh that i never watched this as a kid because because with my fucking track record of me watching shit, my parents walk into the room, the second this fucking dude's tongue hits tit, my parents would have came right around the corner. It would have been a, what is this shit? Yep, my parents would have came around the corner and said, uh, I want you step it up a notch.

I mean, like I could see maybe bring it back erotica into movies would be nice. I mean, this is just two body doubles slathering on each other. Exactly. There is, there is no fucking tongue double there Christopher Lambertair man that dude is pressing tongue Oh really you saw some Lambert tongue

Huh? Listen listen I barely know English but I do know how to do This Well dude it's the fucking love language Yes I mean see and that's the thing Right yes of course I think We gotta be bringing sex back to movies

But there are ways to do it And then there's Highlander And it just it's grody It's just I and again yeah i don't know man it's a fucking live forever sword movie let's tone down the tit licking just a little bit it is weird though like now that we know

now that i thanks to the deleted scene that's now in the movie know that his assistant lady is has been around him forever and it's it's interesting for her to like age and then see like you just bring it back like spring chickens here and you're like sucking their tits in there

yeah a little weird I mean, I guess the question, though, is whether or not Connor McLeod has had a sexual relationship with this woman who's working as his, like, assistant. I don't think so. I guess they probably have more of a father's daughter relationship. Because he like saves her as she's like a little girl. Although, yeah,

well, yeah, there's nothing going on here, I don't think. I thought that was like a red herring because, like, remember in the remake of Thomas Crown Affair when he's like with the model? No. And Renee Rousseau. So it's like, I'm sorry, Eric. Wait when you said the remake of the Thomas, you could have said anything and I would have said no. Yeah, you've never seen a remake.

I forgot. I'm a bunch of the Thomas Crown Affair. Is that what we're doing? I've never seen the remake of the Thomas Crown Affair. I've also never seen the original Thomas. Oh, really? Both, both good. Both.

You should see both. But there is a similar thing where like there's like a younger lady and Renee Rousseau gets jealous because she thinks he's, that's his girlfriend, but it's not, it's like a adopted daughter. Oh, I see. So anyway, the Kyrgin, you see, and Kastigir meet up in an alley. It's kind of an amazing sequence where we're like watching New York at night. You're like, what the fuck's going on here?

And then all you're watching this weird vigilante guy. Yes, we got to talk about this. Welcome to the second and a half act, vigilante character. And he happens upon the Kyrgan, decapitating Kastiguer. That was a scene I could have enjoyed. But this vigilante guy. comes out and goes after the Kyrgyn. Big mistake, dude. Big mistake. Yeah. You know what I thought this was? Were they kind of making fun of, um, who are those fucking lunatics that go around

the city? The, uh, the guardian angels. Yeah, I kind of got a little guardian angel vibe, especially the, uh, their leader who's always failing to run for mayor. Can I say that the guardian angels and any other weird vigilante group, like the Jewish one in Williamsburg or whatever, or hey man cool on you leave me alone if you recognize me i'm just going about my business and i fully endorse to you you're a weird vigilante thing no no i say back off bring the mafia back enough of these vigilante organizations you're right i want the mafia just bring them fucking back i don't want to crack skull in the meantime so if mafia if you could fucking hurry up that'd be appreciated i would like it

But yeah, I do love Castagir's fucking very public quickening. I mean, this is hilarious. Like, this dude gets decapitated. Clancy Brown is taking this, you know, energy in. He is screaming and yelling. And there are like 20 people on the New York sidewalk, just watching whatever the shit is going down. Also impaled that vigilante, which is great. I feel like someone at the production company was like, hold on, we're in.

page 98. I have not seen a machine gun yet. We need to fix this immediately. We need a machine. It's an action movie and there's no machine guns wrong. This is pretty great though, dude. Like this guy just giving it to Clancy Brown with this machine gun and fucking rocks. I think it is a bit of bullshit though that this guy isn't killed.

Yeah. Because like he's impaled right through the gut. Clancy Brown lifts him up, you know, still impaled and then chucks this guy against a wall. Come on. he doesn't die as is as a narrative thing. So the police get off of Russell Nash because they show him the photo in the hospital. Is this that guy? I mean,

I think that's the last appearance of the cops is that moment. But if I'm the Kergan and I impale this guy and he's fine afterwards, I'm thinking he's a Highlander. And I forgot that I have to fucking take his head off too. You might as well take heads off as a principal. Yes, please. Just in case you run across a fucking immortal. Yeah, that's a good.

You never know who's immortal. Well, I guess you do with whatever like, whatever like happens to your pubs when you see if, when you know an immortal is in the area, you get that pupe tingle or whatever. Yes, dude. Yeah, like when you go over like those little soft bumps on a road when you're in a car. And you get that,

you get that little like, electricity in the air. I mean, it should have been a thing where they could smell each other, right? That would be kind of funny. Clancy Brown just walking around a crowded marketplace like sniffing. Yeah, just sniffing all these crotches and shit. Yeah, he's got a good nose for it.

So after the tit-licking and the sex scene goes down, you do what any sort of post hookup with an immortal being, you know, kind of knight would follow up with just a quick trip to the Central Park Zoo. Sure, why not? Dude, he's making faces at this lion. It's kind of hilarious. I think the lion knows what's going on. And the Kyrgyn is in the background, apparently.

Like, he's been stalking them. And now he knows. Pretty cool shot here, yeah. He's a little Michael Myersy. We should talk a little bit about the church scene, which goes on forever. Oh, yeah, yeah. But it goes on forever and does really absolutely nothing. But, I mean, the Kyrgyn reveals this new horrible haircut.

Oh, man. Dude, I don't know what the fuck this was. I think it was a thing where, like, Clancy Brown came to set one day and was like, all right, you're going to kill me. cut off my huge ponytail by accident last night. And then they were like, all right, well then we got to give you a dumb haircut I guess. He says, he says, I'm in

disguise so nobody recognizes me because I guess he cares about the heat that's being brought down from this vigilante IDing him. You don't want to get arrested if you're a fucking immortal dude. That's that's the that's the hell dude. That's how a twilight's on it. You're right. Actually, when a judge sentenced to you're like 24 consecutive

life sentences, it only really applies against someone like this. Look, look, Russ. Russ. I know what just thinking is it's a terrible look for the end of the movie but look I thought I was going to be on S&L and I thought I was going to do the cone head sketch okay they were going to bring it back and they were going to try

to do a revival of it and I thought I was going to be perfect as Beldar too with your host the Kergin thank you all thanks to Jeff Rotel yes ironic that they're here of course

Of course, there is no audience because I rule over the land and everybody's dead. But it's good to see everybody here. It is kind of amazing. Well, he apparently, it's a big fat bald cap and not a good one either. And apparently he almost couldn't take the role because he was allergic to the glue and so on and so forth. It's like, don't do it. He looks awesome. Like, seriously.

Yeah, that's true. They could have just gotten rid of, they could have just kept with a long hair here. It's a fun scene. but at the same time it's like I read stuff online about the original script and he was supposed to be more of a character who's like sympathetic in a way who he just wants to get it over with and he dresses nice and Clancy Brown apparently wanted this character in the modern era to be dressed in a suit and a bowler hat to be more I guess sophisticated but apparently I mean Schwarzenegger apparently was reached out to for this role and I guess maybe that's we're just doing Terminator here he's an unstoppable killer he should be in black leather I'm glad Arnold said no then

that would be terrible also then it's a fucking Arnold movie you know exactly it would just be an Arnold movie it wouldn't be well this is like what 86 this is only two years after the Terminator movie yeah so like he was still he was still not like a humongous star but it would be so yeah

it still ape his filmography too much still yeah like you have to turn the movie into the movie is now called the Kyrgin. The Highlander is the villain. The Kiergen is the good guy. Kiergen, the destroyer. Yes, there you go.

Maybe you could change the title of the movie and just call it the Kiergenator. Okay, Kiergen, the destroyer. Okay, no, that's not going to work. He's going to hate me. Kiergen, the annihilator. That'll do. I could use Arnold, like, flicking his tongue

at some nuns saying, Happy Halloween, ladies. Oh, right. The joke there was I was, I was threatening some nuns by licking them. That is the thing about Clancy Brown is he's not doing monosyllabic

like I am Kagan killed. No, he's like really like he's pretty like hyper and weird especially in this scene and the scene we should for a second when he's riding that old lady to hell that's a lot of fun. Yes, when he steals the old people's car

after he thinks he kills the vigilante. I mean, what a big strength to the movie to me like I said earlier is the sense of humor that not only Connor McLeod has but fucking no this dude has it's just like we've lived forever who gives the shit these are just meat puppets let's have a laugh I will say if I'm the Kyrgyn though and we've talked about it you know isadora Duncan and all those other

greats fucking car accidents are really you care your head could come off dude so be careful just just be careful out yeah like jane's man's feel buckle up kirkin because you don't want to find and do the limit you know yeah like what happens happened on the set of my favorite movie, The Twilight Zone, the movie, you think Vic Morrow was a Highlander? Got a couple of quickenings that night, brother. They blamed the whole thing on Landis.

It was great. Landis is at his office afterwards. The quickening went. I grow stronger every day. Now just to fill the quick scene with Dan Aykwood in an ambulance and they get out of here. Man, I hate the end of that movie, especially that is fucking stupid the framing device i actually kind of like that really it never worked

for me i don't know why just him and that monster makeup at the end especially is so stupid i do love another bit of kirgan's sense of humor right here he kidnaps brenda and he's driving around like a maniac they're going over the 59th street bridge he just while laughing maniacly totally knocks this dude off a motorcycle yeah and he says plowing people too and it's just really cool stylized like they look purple light to them for some reason this is yeah it looks awesome this is probably my favorite sequence of the whole movie because he also is singing new york new york like the like the intelligent gremlin from gulmans too yeah it's fucking bone chilling and there's a queen cover of new york new york which apparently is not available anywhere else it's just yeah it's

never released it's just if you hear it's in the movie yeah it's just you hear queen do new york new york underneath it. That was a question I had just in general about the music because I'm not a queen fan. If queen is at a bar or a karaoke joint, that's great, but whatever. Although I do have a night at the opera on vinyl. Anyway, were the songs in this movie like original for this movie or can you find them elsewhere? Oh, really? I believe so. Yeah. And they reached out to multiple groups. There's even talking about like Bowie or someone working on this. A bunch of people passed and some of these more minor bands than Queen are really regretting it now

but yeah I believe these were for the movie because they're very specific to I mean I guess that's true and also it inspired I was reading about it they came with an album that wasn't the soundtrack it is called A Little Bit of Magic which is the line he says in the Nazi scene

is they were just like they were supposed to do one song and they got inspired by the movie because Queen was insane and we're just like they decided to make a whole album of this stuff And they have, like, not a whole album, but a lot of songs on that album are directly inspired by Highlander music. Yeah, you know, I bet there's a bunch on, like, greatest hits shit. Yes. Right.

I mean, it's just so funny because now I'm, I can think of nothing besides Freddie Mercury and Brian May and all those dudes like, just really digging Highlander. Yes. Just like talking about Highlander a lot. Well, I mean, it's kind of great. It's a great movie. By the way, that song, One Vision is one of my favorites off this. I mean, I imagine Freddie Mercury saw all these, like, different, like, it was a very complex narrative to him to play with as a musician.

But Brian May was like, oh, you say a bloke could live forever, hey? I like that. I like that. He'd get to shag the ladies, too, that whole time. Yeah, I like that. I like that. I like that quite a lot bit. Yeah, let's make a music.

so the it's our big finale here at Silver Cup Studios which is kind of hilarious and awesome I love it man just such a random fucking thing to have happened but it is such a big piece

of the New York City skyline at a certain point like that Silver Sky Cup sign is huge and bright and it's cool to just sort of watch people fight on top of it it's also just rad that there's a climax

of a cool movie in Long Island City yeah it's great the fucking Silver Cup Studios which one time share a little story I was walking down the street no one else there me and my wife walking on the street and Michael J. Fox was smoking a cigarette off a stage door of silver cup. Oh, sick. And I was like, he doesn't want to be bothered. Let's never talk to him. And that was a good idea. That's it. Because you know what? Let that dude enjoy that cigarette. Absolutely. He's just trying to get through an episode of The Good Wife. You leave him alone.

That's exactly right, dude. He don't care how much you love back to the future. But dude, man, I was, I was like, I stopped in my tracks and then I was like, don't be an asshole. Yeah, that's, I mean, good on you, man. I mean, honestly, I'd fucking mess myself if I saw Michael J. Fox in person. Yeah. I, I don't, I wouldn't be able to talk to him. Christopher Lloyd either. I wouldn't be able to say a fucking word to him. But I would shit my pants in front of them. That's sort of what I did in your presence. I walked away with the, the, the turd running down the trousers. you weren't like a little

you didn't want to maybe try to behead him to see if a quickening started yeah I should have done that yeah I mean I was there at the location of the quickening I know he's I don't know that he's not Highlander he's a being of high power I mean come on I just at the 80s

and actually it's kind of a pretty cool casting if if Michael J. Fox was Connor McLeod like him versus Clancy Brown would be a striking fight like you know what i mean it would be hard to believe that he would win but you know like if kleds were like how are you beating me you like whoa shit this this dude's really good at fighting this is like david versus goliath who are also highlanders by the way hi how you doing but he'd have to be like jumping off crates the whole time wait you're telling me that i could live

forever unless someone cuts my head off holy shit crumple him up, like, paper into a waste basket. Marty, I fell down, hit my head on the toilet, woke up and realized, we're immortals. He rips up and Doc's vest at the end of the jacket at the end of the movie, and he's just like, I'm actually a highlander, Marty, no bulletproof vest. We're going to do a time experiment on Einstein here.

Cut his head off and see if it stays. Marty, Marty, we're born to be kings. Masters of the universe. and this has become of me champion of the world oh man so i mean whatever we have this big fucking fight it's awesome the whole silver cup studios sign falls down it's which is pretty rad it's awesome i like a i love a two location fight obviously we're fighting on top of silver cup studios we fall through a skylight now we're in this really cool warehouse which i'm sure was in in London or God knows where

nowhere near where we're supposed to be but it might actually be silver cop without the without like a you know the Cosby show set or whatever it was at the time and the purple light is just really cool here you know super

oh and Brenda's tied to the signage and she's like hanging off the building once the Kogan starts cutting down these the letters of the signage here and that's well by the way once he starts

nailing into that sign is when McLeod is like, hey, that's a cultural landmark. Stop it. And that's when I will join the fight once you start. I don't care that you've taken my girl that I met the other day.

You can't damage this someday. A fashion boutique might be here. Hey, hey, where is dirty rock gonna shoot? Have you destroyed this sign? Hey. I'm looking. through the filming locations here

I'm not seeing anything for where they film that but how about this though the Continental Airlines Arena was what doubled as Madison Square Garden actually for the wrestling scenes apparently you can see old New Jersey Nets banners in the Rafters

that makes all the sense in the world yeah yeah yeah but no no idea where the where the fight was there they say that his antique shop is on 71 Green Street in Soho, which is cool. I also love that he lives in Soho in like 1986. Oh, by the way, that apartment he has with like, yeah, the staircase, the double decker, the little balconies. You would have to, at least nowadays, live for 500 something

years working tirelessly. Oh, yeah. And he's still, and he's still barely making rent. Yeah. At this point, thousands of years at it. And he still just can't get it over the line. Listen, Kagan, I mean, I'm up to my neck here. Pun intended. My bills, I need to just move some merchandise. We can get back to the fight. How about October? I'll call you in October.

Rachel, I would love to give you a raise, but honestly, we're taking a bath. No one is buying our merch. Okay, I'm going to have to sell half of Scotland, which I own somehow. Rachel, this is a privilege that only, us immortals can do. I'm sorry, but you're out of a job because Russell Nash dies tonight. That is an interesting detail. He gives her like power of attorney, like check in the desk.

There's all the information. You know, you're going to get all this money because Russell Nash ain't coming back one way or another tonight. Yeah. It's it's a weird bit of like detail that like you don't really need unearthed, but Brenda unearths it anyway when she discovers that like, what he's been doing is like when he starts like kind of aging out of whatever life he's in he fakes his own death and then leaves all his money to a fucking like dead person and then he assumes there like the dead person's identity and just gets all his money back and it's like because i think we were talking about this on the highlander two episode of like just how it is that he you know gets all this wealth you know living forever like this movie is literally like this woman doing research

into like fucking birth certificates and shit. It's so much that's not needed in this movie at all, but that's how he does it. Rachel, here's all the paperwork is a nice bonus for you because guess what? Either I'm getting my head cut off or I'm just out of here anyway. The city's kind of dead.

Honestly, I'm so over New York. What you were mentioning, Andrew, there is a brief scene with this computer guy with the police. that like puts it all together with the uh signatures yes that's a weird thing where like his name of what is it john nash russell nash russell nash it's like he's pulled letters from all of his various aliases and made this new name very very weird serial killer shit

they were just checking like oh if you see how he does the yes his ass here oh is that oh okay oh it's a handwriting sample. Okay, that makes much more sense. It'd be cool. And, oh yeah, the Zootiac cipher. I got to do some weird shit in the 60s, bad. Yeah, dude, I've been to mortal was the fucking Zodiac and he just got bored with it and moved on.

I bet you, man. I bet you. And he's still around. We know you're out there. So he's Senator from Texas now. He's about to get his head cut off, but Rachel Descrat, no, Rachel, uh, Brenda distracts the Kyrgyn and that gives him like the and much like a wrestling thing now now I oh I'm hearing it from the crowd I'm getting the upper hand now when she like butts into this fight with that pipe and hits him in the back and he's like ha ha what kept you yes it's a little bunch but I like it this was where I wrote enough with the lamb bear one line yes that was the one that was the one that made me do it man we're in a fun movie he

I mean, and then he kind of just cuts the Kirkland's head off. It's not like a really, I mean, like, it's really cool, obviously, and especially the Quickening. Yeah. But it's not like a very specific, like, he needs to defeat him in a certain way kind of a thing. He's just like, yeah, my girlfriend distracted you. Now your fucking heads coming off, dude. Which I appreciate because I feel like a sword fight is like fucking won and done. Look at those, look at yo jimbo or something.

Yeah. Right. I mean, that's what's actually kind of rad about it is how sort of anticlimactic it is. Although, I will say what is totally badass. about the Kyrgyn, man, is after this decafitation and, like, the quickening has started, like, he's starting to

fucking light up like a Christmas tree already. This dead body is still swinging this sword? Yeah. It's fucking cool. And now, like, this is supposed to be the fucking prize. Like, this is the end of the thing. I guess the gathering was in New York. Everyone is dead. And

we get, like, fucking ghosties and demons cartoons in the quickening that we have not seen before. A lot of quickening cartoons. That was truly something. He goes, I mean, oh no, I've actually went back in the cool world. Here comes all these doodles to get me. Oh, shit.

I found myself stuck in a Betty Boop Halloween special. Now I am going to be licking Betty Boop's tits. You cannot have sex with Betty Boop or she will become real. Only I can have sex with cartoons. I am the chosen one. Decapitated couple hundredth people, Gabriel Byrne. Then we'll talk. I am the Datelander.

Only I can fuck cartoons. Dude, yes, that is the power of Datelander. You get to fuck cartoons. It's really cool. All right, Datelander. For the final round here, Datlander, you got yourself, Betty Boop, the girl mouse from Chippendale Rescue Race. and Lois Griffin.

Oh, my, that cartoon mouse. Sorry, don't, don't be mad at me, Monterey Jack. Monterey Jack is crying in the corner. Well, no. When I fuck his girlfriend. Why did it have to happen? My penis, it transcends time and space. oh so yeah what is this he takes her to scotland yeah i mean we don't know what these demons are

or whatever it seems like the no the prize isn't exactly a good thing necessarily but okay sure whatever we get this weird like i guess voiceover that is partially from uh shan connery here about like oh yes like patience highlander you've done well you know everything in the world Oh no, I guess this part I think Russell Matt I mean Lambert has this line I know everything there is

I know what everyone is thinking and I could help them understand each other And then look yeah And then Brenda's like so you can tell what I'm thinking He's like yeah you're thinking like Hey this guy might not be so into me But don't worry I am And she's like oh fuck this is

You're thinking Hey I remember my old boyfriend Todd Stop thinking about Todd You know, Todd is a son of a bitch. I just have to say it, Brenda. I just have to say it. Oh, it's just what every woman wants, a boyfriend who knows everything. That's fantastic.

Oh, yeah. Well, can Todd love, have children, live and grow old? Because I can now. I mean, Brenda, I mean, I've actually read every book. Has anybody else read every book? Yes. In Jardosh, I read every book in the library. Patience, Highlando, you'll get them.

The crossover of the century. Definitely. Brenda, you're thinking, you're like, this shirt I'm wearing socks. But this morning when I asked, you said it looked good. Which is it, Brenda? See, Brenda, what you didn't anticipate happening was this morning I had not yet won the gathering. Now that the prize is mine, you can't lie to me about my shirts anymore. Listen, I think the idea.

was that God would allow me to heal the world, but instead I'm going to use this for petty fights. I think the other thing too is that the movie definitely confirms and I don't remember what the sequels do but they do say that he's mortal

too. It's like you know all the thoughts of everyone and you're also a mortal now. And you're going to have kids. A immortal, not immortal. You are a mortal. Yes. Yes. And that's that's it. That's

That's it, everyone. That's what it should have been. You know, if I was, you know, if I'm, you know, Connor McLeod, I'm like, you know, actually, I kind of liked being immortal and I liked having Highlander buddies. The prize sucks. Also, wait, I could have kids now. Wrong. Wait, I have to wrap it up again.

It's been centuries. I have to support these into Rugrats. It turns out my penis had so many asses. T-Ds. I couldn't have children if I wanted to. I'm so sick of walking around knowing everyone's thoughts. Everyone's like, what the accent is that? What the accent is that? Shut up.

It's clearly Scottish, stupid. Everyone in Scotland used to talk like this. Well, that's the end of Highlander. Great movie. let's go around the horn here. Final thoughts and recommendations, Steve said that? Yeah, pretty strong recommend here. Really fun movie. Again, this is only my second time through. I think I liked it better the second time knowing what it was, that it was just sort of a fun, cheesy action movie as opposed to like a great movie. Like, you know, Terminator is a great movie. This is not Terminator. It's a fun, this is like a fun, cool movie.

Yeah, it's better than Terminator. Yeah, you're right. Knowing that, knowing its limitations and loving it worth it all, it's a lot easier and fun for me. It's a high recommend. Also, big with Eric, one and done would be great. Yeah, totally. Chris Cabin. Oh, yeah, it's a lot of fun. Definitely recommend. I do think it's a little long.

I think you could have gotten rid of a lot of the cop storyline, and this might have flown a little better, and I would have liked a little see a little bit more, like everybody's been saying, like a little bit more with the Highlander world and what all the different Highlanders are. But yeah, I've seen this

Again, like I've said, probably about five, at least five, six times at this point. And, yeah, it's still fun. Eric Siska Highlander expert. Still fun after probably 200 times. A great movie. Check it out. Still fun after probably 200 times. And, you know, one and done, I think would have been great, but the cat's out of the bag. So let's get that prequel Ramirez series.

Let's do a butt. Let's blow out this concept and have fun with it. see where it goes. I'm a big Highlander fan for better or worse. And this is obviously the best entry in the franchise. Totally. You know, I don't think I'm going to say anything different here. I mean, it is interesting. I think you're totally right. Once you know what this movie is, and then

you watch it again, you're like, oh, you are able to appreciate it more. There is, I mean, at least for me and like, because especially me with like fucking when we start hitting up against that wall with fantasy I can really take it or leave it sometimes but this all plays really nicely for me and now I'm excited to start off a real lamb bear kick

see what else is in this guy's filmography man so we'll I'm actually I have 20 minutes left of this Russell Mulcahy movie from 1999 called Resurrection which speaking of Jesus himself it is a fucking total seven ripoff

where, like, we're just taking, instead of the seven deadly sins, it's just, like, Bible verse shit. It's wild, man, this movie. I mean, Fincher has a case, I have to say. But that is Highlander, ladies and gentlemen, from 1986 directed by Russell Mulcahy. If you want more We Hate movies, including some past Highlander-related episodes, go over to our website, WHMpodcast.com,

sift through that long-ass episode list. They are there. they are available. The journey with Highlander does not stop with this episode. And the journey with We Hate Movies does not stop on the prime feed. Patreon.com slash we hate movies. April's a big month. We're debuting

once in a lifetime our new Patreon show where we're going through some fucking lifetime movies, everybody. And what's the first one out of the gate, Steve? Stocked by my doctor with Eric Roberts. It's awesome. I'm excited about it. We haven't recorded

it yet. We're recording it soon and it's going to be out even sooner for you folks. I'm really excited for this one. Yes, it's going to be a lot of fun. We also have the We Love Movies episode on Goldfinger this month. Of course, this is, even though it's a very Lambert heavy episode, we knew that going

into it. This is still Sean Gone Month. So Goldfinger is on We Love Movies. What the hell is we got going on? Who's that fucking goat fucker on the Gleepe Glossary? Reyes on the Gleap Glossary. Someone pointed out, I think on the Patreon

comment section that we've neglected to mention that his name is a cheap version of three eyes they just took some letters out so it's even lazier than we realized but we're going through all these random Star Wars characters on that Gleap glossary program it's a lot of fun I fucking schooled you again assholes it's just three eyes get it okay we're gonna have a new character he's a fat guy I'll call him eh Yay. We also on AD are doing that awful mighty ducks cartoon.

They're kind of like Ninja Turtles, but it's even stupider. Speaking of aliens for no reason, by the way. We've got Melro 2.0. We're continuing our adventures into Beverly Hills 902 and Melrose plays. Yeah, so much stuff going on. And the Nexus, season three of fucking next generation starts. Pulaski's gone. That's right.

Gate McFatheight and returns. And I want to, we never really get to mention it on episodes that much, but YouTube.com slash we hate movies. We're putting up some old, old episodes, but we also've got these live mailbags and other events we've done. The green rooms where we're just hanging out doing Q&As mostly. There's a live VHS trailer name on there. You could see us in the flesh doing it. It's a lot of fun. Also, we never even mentioned our T-Public store.

Go to WHMpodcast.com. hit merch and check out some t-shirts if you want yeah we're talking about her a lot this evening there is an order of boop t-shirt make all your friends jealous with an order of boop t-shirt if you wear that t-shirt everyone will think that you suck her t-shirt dude you know what i'm calling out there uh whoever's listening now which is now not many nobody long uh give me a date lander t-shirt just maybe just shouldn't just date lander on it i'd be like a cool font for date lander Let's figure that out.

Yeah, like what the logo would be in like the 1970s when the game show aired on ABC, right? And of course, here on the main feed, the fun does not stop. Next Tuesday, there's a brand new episode. Steve, Sean Gone Month is continuing here on the program. And what stinker are we talking about that? It's concluding with the only way it could conclude, the Avengers. No, no, the other one. The one you've never heard of.

you know, I've tried to watch this movie three times and every single time, including like when I rented this on VHS, like in the 90s, maybe it was a DVD rental. I have fallen the fuck asleep after like 30 minutes. I've never made it through it through. I think I'm in the exact same boat. I've seen it. I mean, 100 times.

I've actually never seen it all the way through. I think similarly, I'm but I've greened out to it once, possibly. But I've got a weather machine. Yes. How about that? How about that? Is that a movie? is all, are we done?

Is that a million dollars? Oh, that's a million dollars now. I said weather machine. Oh, fuck. So until next week with 1998's The Avengers, I'm Andrew Jupus. Stephen Sadek. Eric Siska. Chris Cabin.

Take it easy. That was a hit gum podcast.