We Hate Movies - S11: Episode 548 - Saw III

Episode Date: May 18, 2021

On this week's episode, the guys take a trip to Franchise Town to discuss the absolutely dreadful, completely joyless sequel, Saw III! Why didn't someone point out how hilarious everyone yelling "Jeff" throughout a film sounds? Why did we need to see a flashback of Jigsaw prepping the first film's test? And would this franchise have been better served by casting a different NKOTB member in every film? PLUS: JEFF! Saw III stars Tobin Bell, Shawnee Smith, Angus Macfadyen, Bahar Soomekh, Donnie Wahlberg, and Dina Meyer; directed by Darren Lynn Bousman. Check out WHM at FRQNCY in June! Catch WHM on tour this fall, hopefully! WHM Merch Store Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the program, we opt to play yet another game. It's Saw 3. I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Sadek. Eric Siska. Chris Kavana. And we hate movies. We all go a little mad sometimes.

You know, it's Halloween. I guess everyone's a title of one good scare. Sometimes. That is one. Zombies have entered the building, they're at the door, they're coming in! It is time to keep your appointment with the Wickham Man. They're coming to get you, Barbara. He's sick for fucks he's seen one too many movies.

Now, Sid, don't you blame the movies! Movies don't create psychos! Movies make psychos! More creative! Put the fucking lotion in the bad. It's an excellent day for an exorcism. Hello, everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in, as always.

That's right. This week, we're getting a little spooky. We're getting a little gross. We're getting a little very Jeffrey. It's Saw 3 from Oat 6, directed by Darren Lynn Bozeman. I think, you know, there's things like, what is it, what holds the record for most fucks? Is it Labowski? is a casino, one of them there,

motion picture? One of those sounds correct. I think Saw 3 holds the record for using the name Jeff in your dialogue the most. That's got to be a record. Let's get into that. I mean, uh, hello,

oh, hello Jeff. Hello. I even laughed at the beginning. It was like, hello Toby or whatever that first guy's name is or like Tommy. And the thing is like, the way that that works, the way that's not funny is if it's, hello, Mr. Stevenson. You know, like,

Hello, Officer Lambert. Like, these are very, that's creepy. Formal. Formal is the way you want to go. Hey, hey, Jay, buddy. Hey, Jay Dogs. How's it going? Hey, Jeff, how you doing? Uh, you're going to die. I'm looking for the J man. Uh, what's happening, Jaybone? Toss me a beer. And then you will die.

Well, look, uh, I'd like you to play a game for me. I don't, I didn't think this all the way through, but you are going to play a game of some sort of. Actually, Jeff, I meant I want to watch a game. Turn on football. Turn on football. Atlanta Falcons. Hey, Jeff, how do you feel about football, Jeff? Yeah, actually, Jeff, I just got back from a nice weekend trip to the PC Richards and I bought myself a big screen TV.

Got itself a 4K screen. and it's work we're going j bone and me we're going to watch the sheahawks and that's right jeff on this time you're going to have to choose the side i know they both have great athletes on either team but you must choose one hey jeff do you want to play a game i'll give you like 20 bucks if you could do a tostitos dip in the salsa without breaking your chip it's nearly impossible jeff it's nearly impossible hey jeff just wanted to call and see if you saw that new Joe Buck intro. God damn that guy's great. He's just great. What a broadcasting legend, don't you think, Jeff? Oh, by the way, this is Jigsaw. Got to go. Hey, Jeff. Hey, Jeff. If I venmo you

$20, will you pick me up a KFC clock bucket? Hello, Jeff. Would you like to play a game? Let's pretend we're internet general managers of various football teams. And at the end of the season, someone will win $100. Yeah, it's It's actually fantasy football, Jeff. I just picked up someone on the waiver wire. Hey, Jeff, just needed to let you know.

Yeah, I got banned from Fandul again. Yep, it was because of all the threats. Yep. Yep. Yeah, Jeff, you're going to have to meet me at Draft Kings. If you haven't seen this movie, there's a character named Jeff in it. And people say

his name an awful lot, not just Jig, I mean, like, that's what makes it so comical. This is, it's, you know, I think around we hate movies, you know, we call this the Bosch rule. You know, if you listen to our Chud commentary, everyone in that movie is just saying Bosch, left and right. You know, when they're addressing Bosch, it's always a hey Bosch, you know, that's what's going on here. And it, what happens is in screenplays, like, it's just so goddamn distracting. You need to at least mix it up. We're like, if Jeff has a profession, right?

like you said, Steve, someone is calling him doctor whatever, then you can have a Mr. whatever, and then maybe here and there you get a little personal, you call him Jeff. Well, it's do we, we don't get a Jeffrey, do we? It's all Jeff. Yeah, is that, it's Jeff. It's all Jeff. Jeffrey would be better, Chris, I kind of

agree. It would. It absolutely would. Because if it's a Chris versus Christopher, I want a Christopher. Well, because that way, like, it's more formal. That way it kind of sounds like it's your parents yelling at you. Yeah. You know what I mean? So, like, if Jigsaw really wants to spook this guy like Jeffrey oh my god oh it reminded me of my grandmother you know or something like

that yeah and this guy's just a meat sack jeff and it's give me a character at all in in these movies i know this guy's got the weepy backstory that propels him into this nefarious game but it it's just a non-character this it's a not it's a non-character it's it's it's it's angus mcfaden warrior of warriors of virtue's own angus mcfaden um and And that, which means seven people passed, at least. Yeah. Like, we don't even get, do we get his profession? Was he like a lawyer or something?

I don't know if you do get his profession. Spoiler alert, his wife's a doctor. She's making the big bucks. Here's the question. Why not just get, I would go through all the new kids if that's the thing. We got Donnie in the last one. Let's get Joey, Jordan, get in there. Was there a Jonathan?

I think there was. So you're going to run into the problem I'm having is that I do not remember any of them other than Donnie, because he's Mark Wahlberg's brother. I remember Joey Fatone, that's one, right? No, no, he was in sync. I only remember, by the way, I only remember him because his last name

makes me laugh because I'm always like Joey Fat One. That's true. Oh, yeah. So yeah, okay, so here we go. Jonathan and Jordan Knight, they were brothers. Then, of course, you had probably the next famous down from Donnie Wahlberg would be Joey McIntyre.

He kind of had a career post NKOTB and then another dude Donnie Walberg of course and then another dude

Danny Wood and they were the new kids on the block all from Massachusetts man yep that's what you want

to New England boy band absolutely Danny Wood you like to play a game hey Dan hey Don

hey Joe see it's just dumb it's not good it's not but yeah get all the new kids whatever

after another, there's so many of these fucking movies, each one stars a different new kid in a series of infernal traps. Steve, stop, you don't, you be trying to make this movie fun. Don't you fucking dare? Dude, wait a second, wait a second. And then Steve, great idea, because then you could retitle this franchise entirely

and it could just be called New Kids on the Chopping Block. I would much rather watch that. I want to watch boy band members drown in pig juice. just pigs that are ground up But that's the thing

And Chris you just alluded to it But Andrew I'm going to take umbrage With the way he started this episode You said we like to get spooky This movie's not spooky Give me a cackling witch Or a barren house A ghost would be great

Like even a creek in the attic And you don't know what it is Like you know what I mean? Like sure Some thing This is the problem when You film an entire movie Inside the same warehouse in Toronto

and you apparently don't let any of the cast see the outside world at all. Like, this is very much, like, I mean, it's supposed to kind of mostly be one location anyway, but, like, the parts that are also, like, supposed to be separate locations are just all the same building, and, like, yeah, none of it's spooky. I mean, that was the wrong word for me to use. I think, if anything, Steve, I just said that because I plan on in post putting in the spooktacular thing. Sure. I mean, it's, it's fair because this is a horror movie, but I mean, again, like, I just don't find these scary even in the least. It's, it's horror in the unpleasant mode. Like, yeah, it's human centipede part two area.

It's not quite that. It's not like a symphony in that way, but like, it's pretty bad. The scariest part, and I think we can all agree here, the scariest part, the most innovative jigsaw trap here is it's called the Lions Gate. and you see this this this this gate i guess i guess jigsaw has the key and it opens up it's very terrifying and uh first lines of this movie you bitch you fucking bitch i'm gonna kill you which i believe were the last words that the director's commentary or i know it's just like it is it is the last words of saw too so you're just a book ending with uh misogyny is what you want there's a couple of things with this intro i did want to point out one i think i'm i ragged on this on our last episode uh for saw two i just i still hate this twisted pictures logo i think it is so

edge lord stupid but the other thing this is a huge chuckle there's a couple of chuckles in this movie the huge chuckle right up front a film by darren lynn buzman oh l-ohl if there were ever a time to use the fucking word movie. Come on. The twisted pictures, it really does. It's like a fake horror movie company in a Joe Dante movie. Yes.

Yep, you're totally right, dude. It just, it always sucks. It continues to suck. I don't know if they make things besides saw movies. But if they are, and this thing is still out there, it fucking sucks. You know, I need both IMDB and Wikipedia to stop getting snowed,

by contract negotiations because it's like, oh, did you know that James Juan and Lee Wannell and Darren L. Booseman didn't even wanna make this movie. They didn't wanna do it. But then their buddy died. Yeah, uh-huh. And then they weighed six more of the, Darren Loon Booseman's directed four of these

and he's directing coming out this Friday, Spiral as well. So like- Yeah, that's just a bunch of horse hockey, isn't it? I do wanna, I correct myself. A spiral came out last Friday. Oh, there you go. What was it going to say about all that? Oh, the thing, too, is like, yeah, there was the thing where one of the original producers on the first saw or whatever passed away suddenly.

In a trap? No, a weird thing. He went to the hospital with, like, neck pain and just died. Ugh. Sounds like one of the classic, you know. Not making any light of this dude's death, but like what sucks is, and I think they avoided it here a little bit. Like, it says at least in, you know, all the Tribune, Trivian nonsense. and I think they reference some commentaries or whatever that like they made this movie like in a dedication to that guy or whatever in his memory.

At least it doesn't come up, unless I missed it in the credits, it doesn't come up like dedicated to the memory or whatever the guy's name was. Because as always when you do that with some rare exceptions like the dark night and a couple other places, they are usually horrendous ass movies that someone like died during the production and then like forever cemented on film is a dedication. in their memory. You should just superimpose a dedication over the hogwash scene. Like, just like right there. Just like make it go slow mo and just put it, fade into a dedication to this man. This one's for you, Jerry. As a rotten fucking pig turns into slop. Look at a waste of pigs to this fucking guy jigsaw. What are you doing? Exactly. You got to respect the animal and you get to eat it.

After you're done to your little sawtrap, you take that pig slop down to the soup kitchen. No, but it's got judge all over at that point. This pig gumbo tastes like judge. Look, maggots have protein in them. It's all good for everybody. Actually, yeah, they are good for you. It's almost as if the laughs like kind of keep on common at the beginning of this movie, because I'll tell you what is hilarious, even though it's totally grotesque and awful.

Donnie Wahlberg just bashing his ankle with his toilet seat cover? I was kind of laughing. I know that if I remember correctly, he's worried about the fate of his son, who I believe lives at the end of the second movie. Yeah, the sun is like locked in a safe and then the door just kind of automatically opens and the sun is okay.

But yeah, D. Walberg does not know that. But I would, you know, like I would have to wait a little while before I started maiming myself. You know what I mean? Like, it seems like he's been in here. Like, the door closes that he's already fucking hacking at that foot.

I'm like, I don't know, maybe she'll come back. You know what I mean? Maybe this is like a prank and like in 20 minutes I'll be able, I'll be let out kind of a thing.

Or just sit there and die. Like, I'm not playing these games. This is ridiculous. No. Well, maybe he's one of those people that like, maybe he has to really take a shit,

but he's one of those guys who can only do it at his home base. Hmm, that's tough. And like, you're doing that and you're in this fucking situation what do you do you have to chop your fucking ankle off with a toilet seat cover what was this thing it's not to save his kid it's not to get his life back it's not to live it's to get home to take his shit of course it's urgency eric you got to think about urgency oh man oh no i'm turtle i'm turtle heading

break it break it break it i don't even know if there's toilet paper here okay that's it goodbye ankle the funniest slash saddest part about this beginning is it's you know obviously he's in the room from the first movie you know that's what they left him in the second movie now it's the third movie that room is very important they they lost the set or

something and they had to borrow the set from scary movie whatever that parody the saw movie or I believe it's scary movie four if I read which is fucking funny to me yeah it kind of is man I believe I saw

up to yeah admit this on the air Andrew I think I saw up to scary movie four in theaters I saw one through four in the fucking theaters man so there's a shot I saw that saw parody I have no memory of it but I'm pretty

sure I saw it whatever the one with James Woods doing the exorcist that was the last one I saw I believe that's the beginning of part two maybe okay yeah I did not make it far in a scary movie. Not my cup of tea.

One and two, I think, is all I made. Agree there. Well, it was a thing where, like, I really liked that first one. And then so when the second one came out, I was like, well, definitely, that first one was pretty cool. And, like, around like Chris Elliott, I think

sucking his own dick in a wheelchair or something, I was kind of like, perhaps I've made a grave mistake. And then, for some reason, after that, Saw another two. I gave them two more chances in the theater. That's right, Chris Elliott, to escape this wheelchair. You'll have to suck your own dick.

Oh, dude, yeah. If that's my kind of sawtrap, dude, I'd be happy to die trying. Exactly, man. So, yeah, we open on it's the, yeah, whatever. Donnie Wahlberg, like, breaks his leg and kind of starts to escape. You don't know what happens to him, put a pin in that. We open on Kerry. Hello, Carrie.

uh dina meyer uh who is the detective in two of these movies and again why not i've never understood why everyone just call this woman carry it's like detective whatever you know it's just no fucking respect for this woman working in law enforcement dude and am i um remembering correctly she's donnie walberg's partner also yeah and she like is the deal they allude to them having some sort of romantic thing that ruined his marriage if i remember right right right that's right uh yeah so she's like on the case they have a swat team like breaks into a room, they discover a corpse, they call her in, she's

freaking out, but she's informed right away by future series regular Costas Mandelor that this is not Donnie Walberg, yeah, the cop, the nothing cop, Eric, that's like, oh hey, that's not Donnie Wahlberg.

That motherfucker, massive player in the grand scheme of things with Jigsaw. Costas mandolore, is he like Django Fetz little brother? Yeah, dude, Bob Costas Mandelor. I should say I've seen Saw 4 before this. I've only seen these.

I've seen one in theaters and everything other one I've done only for podcasts. I saw Saw 4 on the Kill by Kill podcast for their Saw's Giving episode. And there's a lot of Costas Mandelor on that one. Nice. Does he have his armor? He does not. There's a lot of him. It's a, it's worse than this.

but that's the one that gives you Jigsaw's backstory with his wife and like all that that shit. This is just like this desperate fucking like, oh crap, we killed Tobin Bell in this third movie. How the fuck do we keep bringing him back? Like, God damn, that's dumb. Just go ghost at that point, dude. That'll make us at least spooky. That's just a, so it's just a prequel then or what?

No, it's like flashbacks. It's flashbacks that I believe the movie itself takes place. Yes. Kind of concurrently with this one because it's kind of a, weird freak out at some point in this movie jigsaw you'll see we'll put wax on a tape on a little tape it's really a blink and you miss a thing what he does is he eats that so when he dies in the next movie the tape's like do you want to play a game but the twist is that this is all all of part four is happening right now during part three and then the end of four is basically with four

three ends two and if you it's basically uh the event horizon thing where you fold the piece of paper and put a hole through it, that saw three and four. And I'm Chris Cabin. Take it easy. Yeah, he's done. I'm gone. The fuck what's that? This is fucking nuts, man.

And also, like, Jigsaw as a villain, to me, personally, not very compelling. Because it's just a can't, it's this cancer grampy that's, oh, I'm so saying that I have to die. Yeah, this dude sucks. And all of this, like, self-righteous, like, I'm cleansing society and, like, helping people get their lives back on track.

Like, fucking suck it jigsaw, you douchebag. That's what I always want to know. Like, what does the movie think? What should I think about jigsaw? Is he a good guy or what? They take, by all, if you were to watch the movie and take it seriously, they believe that what he is doing is somewhat, at least somewhat viable. Yeah.

That's right, because I'm the only person to ever get cancer. that's pretty fucked up and I should have revenge on people for why I don't know I mean it's like those got to be the same motherfuckers that watched like Joker and they were like yep he's doing it he's finally

fucking saying it hello justine I was one of your patrons at the local apple bees you served me and you gave me a look when I asked you to take the fries back and make them a little hotter and crispier

Well, now you'll know the real, real fucking title. You'll see, you'll notice that there's an apple on your head. Remove it and the bees will still be coming out. Thank you, Eric. You're right, though, Chris. It's all like boomer grievances. What he's, Lynn, who's basically sort of the protagonist of this film, when he's like, oh, there you are.

Treating another patient like a bunch of numbers with, you know, like blah, blah, blah. you know you can't just sit down and talk to a guy like a regular guy so now yeah now you're gonna be in hell yeah you're right it's so fucking stupid oh i'm sorry that a doctor views doctoring as like a job you know like of course they're gonna think like that why would they would they're gonna fucking break down and cry at work every single day because of all the death they see absolutely and on the other side of that i totally understand being like bummed out by like a doctor's lack of bedside manner like i've experienced that it's disappointing but to to set off like this whole fucking bullshit nonsense thing just because like you've you had a bad experience with doctors are like

you know these doctors couldn't be miracle workers like you know he's got this fucking beef with carrie alwes and whatnot you know like he couldn't save your inoperable tumor like that's not his fault sorry you worked at the fucking radiation plan or whatever you did jigsaw like get a second opinion and i don't know fucking just write a little manifesto and die like a normal person if you were going to really follow up with the kind of person this guy is what he should be doing is like hunting down all the people who downvoted his like comment and a red redid subthread or something like that like hello justine bangers three zero zero zero you said that i was wrong to say that i like drive because I think

it gives men a lot of power well now you're going to find all the power in the drill next to your head if I was if I was jigsaw I'd be like hello Fred you decided to use your phone to try and pay at Starbucks but it took like

10 fucking minutes because that never works you should have just used a card like a normal person now you're going to drown in boiling hot coffee I'd watch that one my favorite one is the dina mire one when he gets her and it's literally like hello carrie you're good at your job fuck you goodbye exactly so basically she they find out it's not eric and she's like says something something

i'm having nightmares about eric and by the way i should say i watch the directors cut oh man superfan saw superfan you put my pinky up when i said that um and i don't know what else is I think some of the stuff, there's some stuff that's extended, who gives this shit? I think, Steve, from what I was reading, I think you saw a different ending than the three of us. Ooh, that's exciting. Just slightly different, but let's analyze that when we get to it. But yeah. So she's like, I would have nightmares about him, blah, blah, blah.

And then you cut to Carrie in her apartment, which I'm sure is still in the same fucking factory. The rest of this movie's filmed in. And I'm like, can I get a scene where she like just goes out for lunch? Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, it's just her at lunch and she's looking at files and it's nice. some sunlight maybe that'd be fantastic absolutely not you filmed this in toronto it's a beautiful city there's parks everywhere fucking figure it out or i set up a set you know what set up a fucking

picnic table in the back in the parking lot of this warehouse you know what i mean and call that a restaurant i'll believe it just dina mire and a fucking salad that's all i need um this is like she see you see you're getting like kidnapped right because like she has a premonition not a premonition. She like thinks she sees Donnie Walberg in the mirror turns around and like she's not you know he's not there obviously but then like like so many doors in this movie

her bedroom door like closes by itself or something and then like mysteriously oh it's a pig headed person she like gets kidnapped because she's watching the tape of whatever and then oh right but that okay so here's my question about this tape did anybody else

unless I look down and miss something here she's watching like the jigsaw want to play a game tape sure and then it goes immediately somehow to a live video feed from her closet yeah that's how that works what is that how the fuck are you making a movie

after the year 2000 and you don't understand how video feeds work makes no sense at all well I guess she's like oh you taped over my episode of coach Kerry you're in trouble now you know this series is

and out on DVD. I had all of the episodes taped for my personal collection so I could watch at my convenience. And now I'm missing an entire episode of Coach, Carrie. That's right, Carrie.

I took an electrician learned from home course. And I learned how to send the feed directly to your TV directly after the tape ended. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. You should do a laugh. You know what, Chris?

He should. You know what? God damn it, Kerry. You taped over the episode where Dauber has to struggle to get his license renewed. And that's comedy gold. You don't just tape over television history like that, Carrie. You just don't. Are we skipping over this Hellraiser death that happens?

Oh, I mean, it's kind of around here. Yeah, this dude Troy, trained up like he opened the fucking puzzle box. Okay. And he's just like in a school, I guess? yeah is it like a closed school i didn't understand this either like our kids coming in the next morning like this is where characters might be helpful like show me troy's you know day in a life we come to find out that he's he's a prisoner and like that's bad yeah he was a prisoner he got released and he kept he was a repeat offender he went to prison a few times maybe he's a janitor at the school

now that's where we're at the school i don't know maybe he's getting his life back together Billy Madison style. Sure. Definitely. You never know. Every day is the first day of the rest of your life, Jigsaw. Let this guy sort it out, man. How do you get chains in your face?

Show me a pig person doing chloroform on them or something before you just show me this guy fucking anchored in chains. Yep, because like there's no connection for the audience. I mean, but that's the thing, right? Because the point of these movies is just

people are paying a ticket to watch flesh get ripped apart. Yes. That's all it is. I could do that at home. To their mind, right? Like the people making this movie, it doesn't matter who Troy is because he's just, he's flesh to be torn apart like Pinhead was involved.

Which, and somebody can just say, well, you know, those Friday the 13th movies. At the very least, those movies always start, you have some semblance of a jubilation of these kids are like, excited to be alive and then you know they're going out to the lake

or whatever and like or if it's the nightmare movies they have some sort of vague connection to the school or such and such like you know somewhat who they are as opposed to like it's Jeff it's Troy well because it was in like Jason movies it's like all downtime

if it's not like now it's all plot like you have to explain everything backstory upon fucking backstory and even in these sequels of the Friday the 13th movies where it's like previously on Jason like they get that out of the way

and then a movie starts this is like previously on Jigsaw and it just it goes it never fucking ends well you were saying Steve you were saying how four is like is half flashback to you know find out that you know

Jigsaw was an engineer whose wife died no his his their child died but like this one is also half flashback when we find out what happened to Amanda. Exactly. It's just so much

flashback, so much like filling in shit I don't care about. Like, I would rather know what's going on with Lynn, but you can't because that's the twist. Because it's a twisted picture, you guys. Oh. The picture is not only twisted, it's got to be twisty. You're totally right, though. The fact that this movie thinks

it would be interesting. Like, there were so many people that left the screening of the first Saw movie saying to themselves, my God, you know? I wonder how jigsaw set up that whole first thing. I really wish we saw him setting up those bodies, prepping that whole thing.

Wouldn't that be interesting? And the answer is a resounding, absolutely not. You don't like the fact that he's sitting there like, I'm putting on my makeup, putting on my gourmet. I'm getting in a fucking Halloween costume. Isn't this exciting information you definitely needed? Amanda, did you bring the thermos? my thermos of coffee

I'm going to need it if I'm going to be here for four hours Amanda you did you remember my thermos that's just fucking great well we're going to have to drive my ass back to get some coffee oh you know what keep this shit up Amanda we're going to play a game you keep this shit up

a game about being forgetful about important details we're going to play a game called listen and all that's going to happen is I'm going to say stuff and you Amanda are going to la la la la la la la la la la la la la la listen

this would be so much better because I would understand bitchy jigsaw you get to know the power dynamic between the both of them I mean that comes out kind of later in the film but I'd appreciate

give me some fucking road signs here part of it also seems to be a little bit of a like we're like bending to the will of the internet complaint department right because it's like you can imagine someone

on the internet being like well how did jigsaw lay face down that whole time and Carrie Elway's a doctor didn't know that he was alive so you have that thing in this movie where he injects himself with something and Amanda as if like he wouldn't have told her this already like before they get to the warehouse she's like what is that you're putting in your arm

and he's like well I'm glad you asked Amanda this is going to slow my heart rate and make me pass out and it's like no one fucking cares man that was two movies they told this in engineering school I think people do care about that shit it's just that like it makes for boring

fucking terrible movies Amanda did you did you bring the kind bar I specifically asked for a peanut butter and chocolate kind bar I'm going to be out for like 12 hours Amanda

that wasn't very kind Amanda now we are going to have to play a game again before you leave before you leave just where is the thermostat because it's already a little chilly in here

hey Amanda I know you think you're being funny but I asked for a kind bar not a Luna bar you know those are for girls right I'm telling Amanda one of these days

bam zoom to the moon and that I mean I will build a rocket and that has a lot of, like, latches on it and send you to the moon. Oh, Buzz Aldrin, did you want to go to the moon? We're going to play a game.

Jigs on space. Good idea. Yeah. Spiral, too. I mean, Steve, to your point, though, speaking of the sequels, I mean, the idea, right? Like, because even our beloved Friday of the 13th franchise did something

a little similar, you take it paranormal. You kill Jigsaw, and uh-oh, guess what happened everybody? His fucking soul, for whatever reason, because it does not matter. This is a Twisted Pictures production, went into the fucking body of that dummy, and it's running around, and there are your sequels. And it's scary. And you get Tobin Bell to do the voice, and it's excellent. Not excellent, but it's something.

How about this, too? It's definitely talking, yes. You take a big break between these movies, and then, like, you make a new jigsaw movie, like, you know, five, ten years later. and the jigsaw dummy is like at a thrift shop or something you know yes yep you can have a lot of chucky-esque things with it as well well sure how about except instead of all that how about just lots of miserable crap which was the uh choice they went with just miserable crap nonstop like give me something fun as much as i'm not a big child's play person there's moments of let you you'll smile once in a while

I mean like even hell the Hellraiser movies You know I haven't watched all of them Like they at least like there's parts Like people have execs even Like you know what I mean Like that's an expression of like Like human existence

It's not misery It's classically grotesque Like there's like genuinely like something like Humorful about how disgusting it is And like this is just fucking miserable And you know what this movie Also removes from it mostly I guess in favor of giving

real estate to these flashbacks or whatever is that it takes out any of the police procedural shit like the first movie definitely has it you know Danny Glover and everything second movie with Wahlberg

and his partner Carrie there and then this movie like that's all just totally gone so there's never anyone on the outside knowing that anything is up like you never go back to the doctor's office and they're like oh yeah Yeah, where did our doctor friend Lynn go?

She hasn't been at work in days or, you know, whatever it is. Like, once you were inside this fucking terrible world, there is no escape. Like, I never thought I would be yearning for the days of Donnie Wahlberg staring at a computer monitor and swearing at it. You know what I mean? Well, even her coworkers being worried about her, it would establish a bigger world. And it'll be a world that contextualize that they're missing from that world. And it's like a big fucking deal. Here it's just like, I don't know these people.

They're just meatbags. They come, they go, I don't know what's going on. Well, instead of that, it's just like the audio book of fucking jigsaw narrating Angus McFadden's fucking tragic life. Like, just giving you the slices of it down the line. So, yeah, Carrie gets caught and then she's in this trap. And like, yeah, Chris, because he's like, you know what, Carrie? You're dead inside. What the fuck does that mean?

What do you? I have a very rich inner life. I don't have a relationship right now, but, you know, I'm dating. You know, like, you're, no, you're more used to dealing with corpses because that's what you do as a job. So therefore, that's your family and you should be dead. Oh, Carrie, I saw you at the cheesecake factory. You left a 20% tip. We all know the standard is now 25.

Now you must die. Oh, I wish he would be a good tipper. I'm highly doubt. I'm not smelling that from jigsaw. absolutely not. Definitely not. But so her trap is, there's this vice on her chest

and there's a key to it in a cup full of acid. It's boiling acid. Dude, and so much of this, like I just pictured the folks in the theater, you know, being like, you know, you can pour some of that acid out before

dipping your whole fucking forearm in there. I mean, she's like elbow deep in this thing and clearly the way that it is set up because it's just hanging from chains because jigsaw loves chains like just tip some of that out that's all your arms are totally free you can do it

or just like smack it from the bottom get the key jump in a little bit totally but it's I think that was sort of the thing that you said on the text chain today Andrew it struck me like because I'm always like who could even enjoy these movies I guess in a raucous

crowd in an actual theater where you hear people squirming and screaming and yelling back at it, it could kind of be fun. I could almost see it. I can totally see it. But like, then that means these movies shouldn't be on HBO max. They should be like for theatrical presentation only or like you have to prove to Lionsgate that you are going to be like having at least 10 friends over to watch this movie. I'm telling you because like I'm sitting. I'm sitting. here today. I mean, first of all, I watched this with the sun up, had to put the room darkening

curtains closed and everything. I just felt like such a fucking scumbag watching this movie. Oh, yeah. That's, I mean, like you need a roomful of people rejecting the very premise at the same time. Like everybody together being like, this is

fucking bullshit. Look at this nonsense. And then you're having kind of a good time. Maybe then you're liking it. You're totally right because when she inevitably fails and gets cracked open like a Maryland crab like I'm just sitting there like well I feel so disgusting

right now there were no woohoo's there were no like oh girl look like nothing this woman was just broken open like there was a wooden mallet over fucking newspaper and old bay seasoning everywhere and I was like nah man

no Darren Lynn Boosman no now this is a weird thing to complain about because I hate the violence in these movies and stuff but like, I don't know. This was kind of like, could have been bigger, break her open more. I don't know. It just, it didn't seem like enough to me. Well, to me, I didn't get breaker open.

I got ripper breasts off, which felt weird to me. If I only got that. Yeah. We didn't see any bare chest, I don't think. No, yeah. Well, that's, I just couldn't see what was even happening. It was so gray. And I was like, that's kind of what I'm getting at.

You see like, there's like a, there's like a exoskeleton rib cage on top of her. and it just pops open. And then you see some blood and a little window like a little operation game going on by your intestines. That'd be great of just the little buzzer one off, the little operation buzzer.

Oh, oh, your nose is glowing. Oh, I left a wrench in you. That's how you're going to die. That would be like something like, you know what? I'm going to use the classic Parker Brothers game operation. as the inspiration for my newest game.

Fuck yeah, dude. It's Saw 3 colon operation. And he's like, you know, during my cancer battle, I've gotten really into board games, and it started affecting my serial killer work. Jeff, you're going to have to remove the funny bone. Yeah, these movies need a fucking funny bone, man. Can you remove your own funny bone without making your nose red?

Jigsaw, I don't have a wishbone. That's just a thing that fucking chickens have. If you look in the mirror, you'll see I have attached an actual red light bulb to your face. Oh, dude, dude, yep, yep, yes. Well, maybe that's the trap. He turns a person into the operation game, complete with all the electronic, whatever, and then another person has to play the game, and then that's literally you want to play a game. This is all us using our imagination with the premise, whereas they just,

looked at a Q&A and like, ah, what happened to, what happened to Amanda? You know, what happened to Jigsaw? Who knows? I mean, that's like a movie. That will get us over the 80-minute line. I mean, you were talking about, like, Eric, I think you're talking about, like, a little bit more gore would be nice here. Like, that's the thing about this movie. I don't think you're supposed to, I don't think you're supposed to enjoy this at all.

I think that's the point of the movie is you're not supposed to be enjoying this. So do you think this is like an ultimate cinematic trolling by Darren Lynn Boosman and Lee Wan-El? I don't even like there's none of the deaths are really gory or like like mess like you could call the second the pig one is messy but the whole point like he doesn't die with spoiler alert the guy in it doesn't die it's not like his death is it's just the the way he dies is messy his death isn't messy it's not even like it's not even that scary it's not even that gory I guess it's more like if you're afraid of like rusty objects and slime but Yeah, that would, maybe that's something, but, like, I just think the whole point is cruelty. The whole point is to watch people suffer. That's the whole fucking point is to enjoy watching people suffer. And if, I guess you can base a movie around that. I think you're a piece of shit.

Yeah, also. Look in the mirror, look out the window. Dude, of course, of course you can base a movie around suffering, Kevin. I fucking saw Green Book, man. Like, sure. Yes, you can, you can make a movie that is intended to make your audience suffer. through the entire thing. Absolutely. Well, I mean, but at least Tony Pizza Hut had like some

punch lines going on. Like tried to throw something in there. I'll tell you, fucking Darren Lynn Boosman comes to my house, uses one of my glasses. I'm throwing it in the garbage. So we get Lynn, who is having sex with a man you assume is her partner in one way,

shape, or form. But, uh-oh, spoiler alert is actually some guy she's having an affair with. And I got to tell you, dude. We, we, We open on a Seattle commercial pretty much Like no one's having a good time It is like It's a Seattle's commercial

Definitely It's also though like The combo of these fucking Nobody's and the bad acting All you need is penetration And this is pornography Well she was in a crash At the very least

Oh And all that movie needed Was penetration You got some pornography there too Absolutely Who was she in crash I'm gonna look it up I don't

it looked like her career like fizzled out like it was kind of percolating there in the aughts and I don't know I'm sure this movie didn't help maybe she retired and good for her

I was going to say though was it like the association with this franchise I mean I mean because I mean like and a lot of her credits are just like what do you call it there

like archive footage only in future saw movies which is not great well that's the thing it's like you can only do this when you've gone to TV like this is mostly TV actors like Chris Rock went to TV with that piece

of shit of Fargo season 4 or so like now he's ready for fucking saw a movie I guess so yeah I don't know I mean I guess we'll see we haven't seen I like Chris Rock is a dude where like

I always want to give the benefit of the doubt to but like all three of you told me how terrible that Fargo was and I was like oh I didn't see it oh all right well just just Chris and Steve then and I was like so I don't know maybe like in a couple weeks or a week or whatever like we'll start

hearing some bad buzz about this and I won't give it a shot but I have every intention of at least giving it a shot because I just like Chris Rocksoe so yeah I mean I hate myself enough that I will watch every song movie just to just to the bitter end just to be able to complain about all of them with full knowledge

now am I going to be able to follow spiral if I've only seen the original trilogy? Yes sir you'll be fine okay good i mean because i feel like this one has to be a copycat killer something like that i mean i i don't i could not care less but like at the end of the day at least it has samuel jackson and chris right you know what makes more sense than a weird team of apprentices carrying on a cancer grampies fucking weird murder wishes is copycat killers they are there everywhere yep like if you're not going to go paranormal which big mistake like

then you got to go to the copy camera out this whole like the disciples of jigsaw dude I wipe my ass with this idea look um the following sucked like I know everybody like was really into it for two years but like oh yeah I watched that pilot

and immediately checked out awful show and like that if that's the idea fuck that right was that was who's in that Kevin Bacon I think so yeah Kevin Bacon and then nailed it

there's someone else in there that was kind of big. James some uh fuck the the main villain is a guy James some fuck is it James James Purefoy I think is the cult leader Kevin Bacon is the cop or whatever snore this is

Lynn is played by uh hold on one thing I'm sorry Bahar Samak who is in Crash as the the Persian store owner's daughter that and then it's like and then hey you want to you want to be in a big movie Crash is a big movie. You want to be in a bigger movie? How about Saw 3?

But that's the other, the fucking, the real deal with the devil, though, dude, because, like, this movie was huge. It was the highest question of international Saw movie. So, like, I don't, I don't, like, you know, judge anyone for being in this movie. I just feel like it's a bad movie. It probably then winds up. You're on the other side. Like, it's not a great calling card. Like, yeah, I was kind of a main character in one Saw movie. and then in like a featured in a split second of the next three

mainly in montage but if you're trying to get an episode of the mentalist it's probably just about right yes yes that's absolutely making that mentalist money I like that so she winds up she's a doctor she goes to work

and you know you get like I don't know you kind of get a little bit this is like the only time you actually see the outside world like you see her like save a kid's life but like she's not super thrilled to do it and this nurse chews her out like either be here or don't be here stop behind like a fucking zombie

man isn't she stoned is she stoned I didn't know what the pills were I assumed that they were like anti-depressants yeah because they say antidepressants but she's acting a little stoned you know and it's like what I think that is

there is just bad acting trying to portray like I'm having problems at home I'm on antidepressants I'm acting weird well you know antidepressants were super scary back in the day right so there's

that element that's one of the reasons jigsop goes after is like oh you're just popping all those pills uh not paying attention to your husband missy I love that that's why she's a villainous because she's not in love with her husband enough or something maybe in this

opening sequence where the kid is you know as well you're right that she's like detached and not there for it, but she saves the fucking kid's life. The other doctors there didn't really know the right move to make. Maybe have that kid die and I can understand

why we got to get this woman into a saw house. You're totally right, dude. Like if she was like fucked up on pills or distracted due to problems at home and insisted on doing this medical maneuver and then it didn't pan out and she killed that kid. Yes. Happens every day

by the way. Reckless doctors. Tonight on. 60 minutes. Hello there, Dr. House. Oh, dude. I'm to understand that you made hundreds of diagnoses while fucked up on pain pills.

Well, now you're stuck in this fucking box. I hear a little lilt in your voice. That probably means you have throat cancer. Okay, probably had it for about nine months. And then, well, oh, and I heard you had a little, you went up a little bit on the killing. When you said killing there, that means that you're probably from southern Massachusetts

to, okay, I'm just going to have to kill you now. Your test is to speak in a real American accent. Not that weird flat, whatever you're doing there. Oh, no, I'm in real trouble then. This is going to be difficult for me, an American doctor house. I pledge allegiance to the flag. Oh, man. So, yeah, she is fucking kidnapped from, like, the locker room of this high.

hospital, wakes up in Jigsaw's laboratory, like the fucking real estate that this guy invested in. It's unbelievable. He's got warehouses and warehouses. And he brought a contractor and at some point and said, I'm going to need you to do a little white square tiles on every surface everywhere. Oh, there is a freelance contractor who has made a small fortune off of these death houses. that like that jigsaw's been making like he probably works with the same guy i imagine i mean tiles cheap but that's a lot of work that's a lot of square footage absolutely is there some like you think um like contractors code where like it was sort of like a like doctor patient confidentiality attorney client privilege and so on where like if you're a contractor and like

you get hired to do a job and you're like wait a second is this guy hiring me to build a murder house. Fuck, I wish I could say something to police. You know what? Fuck. I don't think, I think they wouldn't, yeah, because they're all cutthroat mercenaries themselves. I mean, I think you're allowed to, you're not a therapist or whatever, you can go to the police if you think something

funky is going on. But like, smart people make them sign an NDA for like weird sex rooms. Like, listen, dude. Yes. You're going to come in here. Yeah, I'm, you're going to remodel my bedroom. By the way, here's an NDA because this closet's going to open up and

dude, you guessed at a sex room. Totally. Like, you're sitting there at the blue plant and it's like, wait a second. Now, Rick, uh, this is a sex dungeon? Now, Rick, uh, let me ask you something. Can you make a wall of spikes? I can't, do I have to get that specialty? You said that's something I got to like get somebody else for. Hey, hey, hey, hey, Mr. Johansson. I'm here to do whatever you want. But I'm going to say, you say spikes. I got to call the police.

You say dildos. That's just between you and me. I can make you a wall of. dildos. Okay. You get my drift. That's a wall of dildo. I mean, you're loud and clear, buddy. This worked perfectly with my other client, Stephen Seagall.

Can I get, can I get them very, uh, a pointy dildos, very pointy? Certainly. I've ever seen the film seven? No, what I could do, though, is that you could screw them on and screw them off, whatever you choose to replace these dildos with after I leave your domicile. is totally between you and the Lord. Uh-huh. I like that.

I like that. Thank you, Rick. Thank you so much. Okay, next time I make the murder house, I'm calling you first. Oh, I mean, a summer house. The summer house, Rick. The sex house. You want to say sex house.

I said, thank you so much, Rick. I'll be calling you. So she gets caught and pretty much immediately she's put in this hilarious device that looks like it was devised by Rob Leifeld, which is this like collar that has all these shotgun shells on it. It looks like, it looks like she does look like a lesser tier X-Man from the 1990. I was about to say, dude, you making comic artist references that the three of us don't understand? Yes, I bring, now I'm bringing, I got the, I got the outliers, now I'll bring it everybody in.

Yeah, see how that goes? Jugger Dots, a nephew, sawed off. Definitely, man. By the way, there's a brief shot of another pig head person, I guess Shawnee Smith at the hospital. You're wearing a pig head at the hospital to abduct someone, not very conspicuous. Pighead, Jerry, Pighead. Yeah, you're totally right. Is she going in there with like a fucking gym bag?

You have to, yeah. Oh, absolutely. Accidentally wore the cape on the way in, though. That was the problem. At least a shaving kit type thing. You're going to need something. And also, like, if you're going to do the theatrics of wearing a pig's head, lean into it, maybe photograph more than two seconds

of it. Yep. Well, I think also you just have to do the whole thing then. Like get the boots where they lace up almost to your knees. Yes. Get the fucking like coal chamber t-shirt. Put the hoodie up a bit, you know. Go full in. Wear a t-shirt that's on the verge of becoming a rag

because you're getting all that pig head juice on it and shit anyway. Glove definitely. Gloves with rainbow fingers. Yeah. So, like, she's fucking, you know, brought into, you know, Jigsaw's laboratory here. We are, there's some heinous line delivery where she's just, I think Shawnee Smith is, like, wheeling her in in a wheelchair. Yes. And she's just looking around and she's going, it's almost like, if you guys recall, Queen Latifah in Sphere being like, wow, it's beautiful, like repeatedly.

This woman is like, what is this place? I mean, what is this place? It's so awful. Is this a new junk room or is this the same junk room? It just seems to be junk everywhere. Yeah, what, I mean, why is that? And why is everything so dirty? Because I'm a filthy little pig.

Like, did he own this place for like 30 years and just like never dust it? I guess so, man. But there's black mold, and you know what, Jigsaw? That's not good for your cancer. Absolutely not. That affects all the people more than anyone else, Jigsaw. So she's, he tells her like, you're going to have to keep me alive, Lynn,

because my heart is hooked up to that stupid thing around your neck. And you know why? Because you were at the hospital, you took really good care of me. And you gave me a pamphlet that gave me all my options. But you kind of just gave me the pamphlet and walked over. way you didn't like sit down and hold my hand you didn't offer to take me out to dinner to apple bees where i have demanded that fucking kelly make sure that my riblets do not touch my french fries as i have told her repeatedly i don't like it when barbecue sauce touches my french fries

anyway you did none of that but now you're fucking now you got a fucking shotgun around your neck now lind you were a great doctor and all but you did not wipe my ass ass. And you should have wiped my ass. Exactly. Like, he's just like, oh, there you go again. She's like, oh, you know, what's your condition? He's like, she's like, diagnosed me. He's like, diagnosed me. And she's like, I can't, you know, and he's like, you know, I have terminal cancer. Can you help me? And she's like, I need to really look at your chart and blah, blah, blah. And there's this, that. There you go with the grand school jargon again, Lynn. And I'm like, dude, she is a fucking doctor. It's fine. Why are you saying medical things to me when you can be doing pissy face?

Well, excuse me, college girl. Sorry I didn't have all the money that old daddy's money to go to doctor school. Sorry, Lynn. I just had all of daddy's money to go to engineering school apparently. And I paid my, no, well, yes, it was a big loan, help me. But then I also waited tables and was able to pay my full tuition and buy 17 houses and a warehouse. Why can't you millennials get it together? He has a line that I feel has been like the motto for some like fun person's funeral where he just goes,

death is a surprise party. Oh, yeah, that's good. Dude, what are we even doing? That is the stupidest line I've ever heard. Here's because that's not the end of that line. This is the full line. Death is a surprise party unless, of course, you're already dead on the inside. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about, man?

This moral righteousness about people being dead on the inside. It's like, what are you? What is Shawnee Smith? What are you even fucking mumbling about? Exactly. And so, you know, basically she has to keep him alive and she's like, I can't really do it. And there's a lot of, and I think a lot of what I have in my director's cut is more Lynn v. Amanda stuff. Kind of like, there's a lot of like them arguing and there's apparently a whole like knockdown, dragout fight that they have.

There is. It starts with jigsaw going, yeah, yeah, cat fight. No, no, it doesn't. Hey, Lynn. Rear. you girls get into you could take these records and get the hell out of my store there you go but no yes

there's a lot of that shit but then we meet Jeff who's just sitting around his house he really tears into his youngest daughter there and he's like are you sleeping with toys from Dillard's room

okay this guy is a fucking you know Jeff is a piece of shit I mean it's like you got the backup kid right there fella. Why don't you fucking we're like, you know what? Enjoy that. I don't know.

Why don't you have a relationship with your daughter? What is this fucking thing with just the son and now that kid is getting neglected completely? He walks into his daughter's room and he circles it like an SS fucking interrogator. Like he's about to put the fucking

screws to her about this fucking little stuffed animal that she's just sleeping with. Like her fucking brother, her little brother died. Nope, no, but dude, he just will not accept it. And he's fucking pissed off because the movies lied to him. His kid died. And unlike his favorite movie Stargate, no motherfuckers showed up to tell him he had to go on a cross-dimensional adventure.

Sad story. And he's just walking around with his handgun in the house, which is not a great, not a great move from Jeff here. So, Joe, he's drinking in the morning also got to put that out there. And also, that's good. Hold on, let's not be, I mean, that's just, Jeff might be trying to do another round type of thing. Oh, maybe. Yeah. Well, I mean, let's, quick question. Is it Jeff's day off? So who are we to judge? I think. I guess so. But his kid hasn't even gone out to get the bus to go to school, man. That is early for that much whiskey. Sure. But to Steve's point, Jeff doesn't seem to be in a rush to get to work or anywhere. Yeah. Jeff isn't taking the day off. Jeff is taking life off. He's decided. this is how it's going to be for the rest of it.

That's what I'm doing. Uh-huh. Dude, also, we're making a lot of Seinfeld references today, and I love it as always. But he is dressed like one of the fucking scumbags that Kramer hires do illegally install the cable for Jerry. Yes, he does. Because he's just, like, because he's got this bathrobe on, which that guy doesn't have. But, like, there is this, like, velour jumpsuit underneath the bathrobe.

Like, this is quite a look for this guy. I would love it if he was watching. Stargate and, like, was calling up Roland Emmerich and was just like, so was that takes these back, these machine, was that real? Is there any way to, can you make, can you bring the dead back, Mr. Emric? Can you bring them back, Mr. Emick? Tell me, please. Yeah, how did you get this phone number? I would instruct you to watch the rest of the film, because, I mean, I don't really bring

the sun back. You really go to an Egyptian planet and the other side of the galaxy. I'll be honest, I started drinking, and then I just started, I just started the movie right over from the beginning, and I saw it that you could bring my boy back. Was it your day off by any chance? Well, I mean, days are being into each other at this point, dear sir. That I'm no one to judge. I just said, thank you, Mr. I love Godzilla. Roland Emmerich directing a saw movie would be a way for me to get interested in this franchise in any way. Like, give me something humongous.

like we're making a saw trap I don't know on Fifth Avenue or something like it's something where like you need to do some intense model work absolutely put Amanda's skull cracker on like the Statue of Liberty oh man

yep you know what it'd be that's the fucking poster if they were ever like saw goes to New York that's what the poster art would be jigsaw takes Manhattan yep exactly dude which would be

because it would get us out of this fucking basement. Yeah, I think, so am I, I mean, this is, it's filmed entirely in Toronto, but this is supposed to be California where all this nonsense is going down, right? You got me? Sure. It's just, or is, or is, are we doing one of those like any town, U.S. city? Yeah, maybe that's it. Okay.

Um, so he wakes up in a box, uh, like the, the, basically the box, the Ark of the Covenant was in, basically. Yep. and he has to get out just cracking around he gets out which is fun I do love it as like he because he's like trying to kick it open

I don't think he understands that he's also like eight feet off the ground and this crate falls like this guy when he's like crumbling out of this crate he looks like Mick Foley falling off the top turn buckle like it is awesome

not surprisingly Angus McFadden only met Darren Lynn Booseman the first day they started filming So that's really You know what's good? No rehearsals needed. No, no, no, no. So what are we doing here?

Are we doing a, this is a, gosh, is this a detective store? No, oh, it's a saw movie. Okay. Okay, I got it. Your name, Jeff, you yell. Okay, okay, that's good. Now, where, which side should I be looking for for? Because I know you're going to put them in post.

Your name, Jeff, you yell. Where are the kangaroo ninjas? I need to know where the kangaroo ninches are for just for side of line you know eyesight dude if he was playing Jeff the way he portrayed Komoto

like better movie way better movie if he was just this fucking like flamboyant maniac way better that would actually be like a decent adversary to jigsaw yeah the only way to do this is to like level it up all the way to like

operatic level like absolute insanity people like, my son is dead! So it's like, Jeff, welcome to my warehouse and you're going to come face to face with all the people who've ever wronged you, Jeff.

And you're going to have to play Chick-Saws game. And the first trap is this woman who is the only witness to his son's murder. We get some, we're putting the porn and torture porn

here, guys. She's naked. Yeah, she's naked. her breasts are exposed now okay so she witnessed the car accident where jeff's son passed away now she she didn't report it to the police she didn't go to the trial or whatever so how does jigsaw know all this a great question even better question why is it her fucking problem when the dude was convicted and the judge gave him a light sentence yeah her testimony is meaningless at that point The whole accident thing is interesting because it's like, apparently the dude who actually committed the accident, you know, accidentally hit this kid with his car, was devastated.

And his life was also changed and ruined through the experience. And then we're just fucking going nuts for this shit. And Jeff wants his vengeance. And we're just talking about a inconsequent. I know a kid died, but inconsequential car crash. Like, no, I mean, you're totally right. like and I don't know why I mean I don't know what the logic thread is here right because obviously the clear cut way to do this is like that guy was wasted behind the wheel you know so

he was drunk driving maybe then he tried to drive off and crashed into a treat like you got to make it really bad because otherwise it's just a fucking tragedy that happened and like this dude is seen like outside of his car crying on the curb like clearly also affected by the this you know like yes he didn't lose anybody but like it wasn't like he was fucked up and whatever so like and he was like a whole yeah he's a promising medical student or something it's i mean i i i guess it's just to set up cruelty porn like this was a good person watch him die well that's the thing it's like it's supposed to make you feel bad about why like it's it's a henicky thing like it really is supposed to make you feel bad about watching these people die

well also henicky makes me feel good Chris well that's i mean that's it's very special movies for you, Eric. Dude, I'm watching Michael Hannekeen movies the same way I'm watching the Muppet Show, okay? Yeah, come on. Lovely. Fills me with such joy watching the

white ribbon and whatnot. There's a director. Bup, but I'll beat your family to death. We've got baby Nazis. We've got kill the kids. But that is what this could, that caliber of director could potentially handle this type of material

way better. I had a key tonight. Boom, boom, boom. I just want to go to Jeff and quote fucking heavenly creatures to him and be like, dude, people die every day. Because they fucking do, dude, and it's just sad. And there's no way to punish it. And that's the thing with jigsaw too, because it's like, oh, my death, my poor little grampy death. It's just like the fucking vanity, eat shit pig.

I mean, if you're going to do it with this, like this lady and the judge and all that stuff, honestly, like, the Starbucks lady who dropped your first Macchiato and had to make you a second one that made you late that day also should be here Oh, it's definitely part of it. Do you remember that time you had to make two macchiados? Oh no you don't because that's literally every day and shit happens and for some reason I'm just fucking an insane person with a grudge for everything. Because like actually it reminds me of a little bit of that movie unhinged

right? Yes. The great unhinged. Good movie. But like it at least it paints you're not you're at no point are you supposed to be like fuck yeah Russell Crow keep chasing this lady like because like it's a stupid traffic thing and like he takes it too far etc etc it's insane it's an amazing movie but like you're never supposed to be on crow's side you know it's never like oh crow's dying of cancer so it's kind of yeah like no it's just like oh this dude's a fucking maniac and she made she made the wrong traffic move to the wrong motherfucking guy and now she's a real problem is they're trying they're like we're gonna make our

villains sympathetic because sympathetic villains are interesting and that's true but if you don't know how to do it it comes off terrible this lady's trap is she's totally naked in a freezing room and there's like this like um uh it's like okay jeff the key is right behind all these pipes but do you have it in your heart to forgive this lady who just walked out on you and your dead son and it's like and like he immediately sees how horrible it is but then he's like oh i'm sorry lady i can't help you it's mildly uncomfortable to get the key because it's not even like there's spikes or anything it's really just like kind of out of the way right yeah i mean well here's the thing is like he does it with this lady he does it with the judge definitely and yeah he kind of actually

does it with the third guy too it's like this thing where he listens to the jigsaw tape so jigsaw informs the audience of this person's role in the in the hit and run and everything like that and then And this Jeff, this fucking skin sack that talks just has to stand there. And he's like deliberating. He spends like precious minutes like, well, you know, jigsaw's kind of right. You did fuck me over by driving away. Oh, geez, I don't know. And then cut to like the requisite close up of the person being challenged in the soft film just screaming because they're so frustrated because they don't know what to do.

oh my jeff brain i'm thinking that's what it is and then after all of that he's like yeah right i'll reach behind this pipe fine oh no you're dead already oh that's sad so they're trying to make jeff sympathetic that he eventually comes to the better moral conclusion every time but every time it's too late which is like it gets we're fucking ridiculous come on jeff get your shit together Jeff yeah be better written

Jeff and I don't know where this piece of information was found I don't know if this was mentioned in a commentary

an interview or whatever but the IMDB trivia section felt it very important to inform everybody that this actress who's chained up

nude here was indeed wearing a Merkin oh thank you thank you so much a pub wig Oh, I did not know that the name of that. That's great. Because she is fully frontly nude, so I guess that was to sort of give her some kind of, you know, coverage down there.

Yeah, yeah. It's just, you know, I just, I don't need to come across them tidbits on I'm. No, I agree. I agree. Look, lady, we would love to, like, you know, put clothes on you and all, but like, we're on a budget here, you know. It's only $10 million. You got to bring them in for what they want. she just freezes to death it's kind of you know this is like ice water but I guess it's more than that because it actually freezes you to death

well I mean it's a freezing room to begin with I think is the idea yeah and it's like a bunch of things like kind of like a car wash or like spraying or like a self tanning booth or something you're gonna freeze to death dude now that is an idea for Jigsaw an entire car wash that torture

you're like it just like traps you in your car that only sounds fun Eric that sounds like a fun movie I'd like to watch I would love to watch yeah like a haunted car wash a murder car wash anything where like the car wash is like the scene of the horror totally and it's such a great place to set

something like that because guess what a lot of soap and water right there you clean up the mess no one's the wiser well that's I mean that's kind of something though that this movie never kind of gets at which is like something like the strangers right where it's like, it's a relatable place that a movie happens

and that's what makes it sort of scary. Like, you kind of want to do something where it's like the car wash where it's like, oh, no, I'm gonna think twice about this movie when I'm in my own, the next time I'm at the car wash, I'm like, oh shit, remember Saw 3? Like, it's not like, oh, every time I'm in a fucking abandoned crack warehouse, I'm gonna think about Saw 3.

Oh, yeah. I guess. Yeah, I mean, I've actually, I've never thought about that with those movies, but you're totally right. It's like, you know, Psycho made the shower scary. This movie makes dilapidated warehouse is scary. And I'll find myself in a shower every morning.

I'll never find myself in a dilapidated warehouse. That overgrown shed in the woods like a mile out from your property. Yeah. Don't you get nostalgic for Saw 3? The closest comparisons I could think of like of what is contemporary scary like in terms of evil warehouse type of setting. I mean, the torture experiments in the Middle East by the U.S. military, co-current to this franchise, is probably the closest relatable thing to the saw move. I was actually kind of curious about that a little bit, just because, like, this movie, it really pushes on,

Jeff needs to forgive and vengeance doesn't get anything. I'm like, is this sort of an Iraq war question mark situation? I'm definitely giving it too much credit. No, it's not doing anything. It's just bad. It's bad. Unless, unless you are talking to the people who made this movie. Yeah.

I mean, to some, to some degree, I think that is actually true, in some way. If you look at like the course of horror, you know, and what, like, the rise of torture porn, I do think is kind of like, it has to be tangentially. Yes, because we were doing it and we have to like sort of sit with it. You know, this is what we're doing right now in the world kind of a thing. Yeah, I mean, I think you can, you can make that argument. I don't think you can continue making that argument into, like, the third saw movie, you know what I mean? Yeah. You know, I definitely think two, maybe, I don't know, maybe now I'm out on a limb here myself, but...

I can see it being reflective of the times, but the Iraq War specifically and torture specifically, there's no, like, reference to... Yeah, I mean, I think that's more, that's more what I'm. feel cabin you're articulating it better it's a it's just a reflection of it's not necessarily a commentary on if i am elected president i will close down jigsaw's murder warehouse that is a number one on my list of things to do listen no no vote for me 2016 because i'm reopening every single jigsaw murder warehouse every state no need to do it because i never fucking closed it kept it open no problem no problem Thanks to me. Thanks to me, everyone. Thank you.

No, it's a bipartisan issue. Want to keep it open? Want to keep it open? Want to keep the Republicans happy with the murder house? Folks, ah, folks, this is America. This is America. Folks, and we as Americans, we got to keep those warehouses open. I mean, you got to look at it. You got to look at it this way, everybody. We're Americans. And if we don't have those warehouses open, someone could swoop right. in maybe through Delaware on a train or something and the next thing you know we're not Americans anymore folks folks we got to be warehouse Americans

oh hi there yeah it's a Bush here doing some painting here doing some paintings here I'm here to give the presidential medal of freedom to jigsaw he's been an inspiration to me over the years he's come to every barbecue I've ever come with fresh meat for me to grill up for all my guests I love him so much.

While it might be true that W gave the Jigsaw the medal, I am the only president that gave it to Jigsaw's dog. Little known. Jigsaw had a dog. Oh, you know, that guy's a jerk. You don't say Jigsaw by name, man. That's the problem. Yeah, Trump doesn't give anybody, like any presidential medal for him.

He just goes on like a two-hour praise-a-thon for the cult from Midsomar. Just some brain, like he heard a story. Somebody says, they left that cult. They have the beautiful, the beautiful frocks. The beautiful frogs they have. Look, look, all I'm saying is nobody uses sledgehammer's like that anymore. Okay? You got to bring a sledgehammer back.

And I do think that every old person should be tossed off a cliff or jump on their own accord, unless of course they vote Republican and in person. So meanwhile, I don't even know like the next thing is the is the pig room which rules. No, it doesn't. But it's it's certainly as memorable I guess. Yes. This is the most

double dare this franchise ever gets. Big time, dude, this is saw goes to slop city. They're going to pull out a fucking thing from a sloppy nose or something. You have to look up this huge nose. sift through all the boogers and find the key.

Oh, there's an enormous peanut butter sandwich, Jeff. Are you going to be able to find the flag in there? Hey, Jeff, you got to take this giant toothbrush and brush off all the gunk on the teeth in this huge mouth. It would be way more interesting if Jigsaw did have that big of sets for that elaborative schemes. as the set of Doubledair. Oh, yes. By the way, Paramount Plus, I know you're listening. Reboot Double Dare, hosted by Tobin Bell.

Every episode starts with want to play a game, a million dollar idea. Other million dollar idea, just give me a parody for the poster of Mid Samar, but it says Mark Samars on it. It's just fun to look at it. Yeah, sure. I think it would be fun to look at it. I also want a million dollars if anyone's listening. the phone here is great

but it's so amazing because it's like this this judge is in a vat of nothing and Jeff has to figure out whether or not he's going because the judge only gave this guy five months and maybe you know maybe Jeff carcoral punishment isn't exactly the answer ever how about that maybe that's a message to learn

being incarcerated for having an accidental car act apparently it seems like it was a light sentence because this guy was just a normal dude that wasn't fucked up, that wasn't trying to run over kids that day. And here's a better

question, Jeff, father of the year. Why was your child on a tricycle in the middle of the street? What was doing in the middle of the road, huh? But totally, Jeff is a fucking piece of shit.

Fuck you, man. Some of these fathers, by the way, who. They get these fucking egos. Oh, sure. Where was Jeff? Where was Jeff? Like, you've never gone and jerked off in the woods while your kid was playing on the fucking swing set.

Okay? Nah, ha, ha, ha, ha. Like, I didn't suffer tragedy. Shit. Ah, come on, man. Everybody's got to jerk off in the forest. This is America. That's what we do.

We jerk off in the woods all the time. Here's my thing with Jeff. If I was in his position and I'm going through all these fucking, I've getting into these rooms. The smell alone is making me have to leave as soon as possible. Thank you. I would have to, like, immediately I have to give forgiveness. Yes, absolutely, you're forgiven.

I don't care if you. You want to kill another one of my kids? I hate my fucking daughter. Why don't you go? Because I got to get out of here because the fucking rotten pigs are in my nostrils. Because we should say what the trap is, this judge is in a big jar, essentially. And then next to him is a meat processing thing. where rotten pigs will get juiced

and the juice will then drown the judge in pig slop. Okay. Did I effectively summarize that? Okay. Yeah. I think so. Or you could press the button on the incinerator

and burn up your little boys, old little teddy bears, and then get the key. Dude, I would be so fucking, he does eventually, the judge actually survives. He's one of the only people in this, that survives his trap.

And then I would be like, yo, dude, so I just swallowed like fucking three gallons of pig slop and shit because you didn't want to fucking, I'll buy you a fucking Gumby toy, dude. What do you need? How much money is it going to cost?

How many fucking teddy bears do you need Jeff? No, but that was my kid's gumby and had his fingers on it. Dude, there is a fucking jigsaw line to beat the band in this audio tape where he's saying, like oh you might recognize this guy as the judge who gave the light sentence of six months to your son's murderer and then he goes uh he goes something like uh now you have the power

to sentence him straight to hell god damn that definitely sounds like someone that's being altruistic with his fucking saw traps he's just trying to help you get your life together well uh let me get this straight you need 57 rotten pig carcasses by tomorrow well fresh pig caucuses yeah I could get them in ice I can get you there

fucking one week but tomorrow rotten pig carcasses that's a lot buddy all right give me the fresh pigs we'll wait a month I'll just wait a month to kidnap Jeff okay I'll put the order through anyway anyway your credit card information uh hello forged in fire

do you have any of those pig carcasses that you cut through with swords like they're just laying out wait a second they're using pig carcasses absolutely it's either it's either the ballistic dummy which is my favorite

personal favorite but then yeah because you're not a fucking mania let's waste some food you know what that that animal grew up lived and let's use

its soul to test a hillbilly's fucking knife on no I agree it'll do that they'll do like ram carcasses sometimes These fucking weirdos, dude, every last person associated with that show. You know, they're just juicing all those animals and flushing them down the toilet afterwards, too.

It's not like everyone's eating that thing. Well, that's, yeah, that's my question. I was like, dude, yeah, you better fucking put that out. You know, I think they film in Brooklyn. You could put that, you know, send that to the local smokehouse. Yeah. Oh, man, that's really frustrating to hear that. God damn that show.

But, yeah, so these are rotten pink harkasers. They're juicing all over this, dude. and Jeff does find it in his heart. Also, you know, not to be an asshole, Jeff. The only one that you find in your heart to forgive is the old white guy, huh? Odd. Yep.

Strange. Strange, Jeff. Yeah. As Twitter would say, you're telling on yourself, Jeff, by saving that old white guy. The other Jeff thing that keeps happening, and it happens here,

and it happens again, and it happens in the last, like, this dude letting these doors close behind him. Yeah. It happened the first time, Jeff. When you open that second door, why don't you prop something up next to it?

Okay. And every time it happens, the actor is the same like, wait, the door? Like, no shit. The one benefit of being constantly,

you know, surrounded by garbage and filth, is that there's garbage to prop open a door with. Yeah, that's true. Just put it right in the fucking way. It's not that hard.

I just also, I mean, to what how are these our protagonists how are these the people that we're talking about jeff because these these movies don't think that they need to have that stuff again it's just like let's get this motherfucker from a to b so he can see someone torn into shreds at b and then he gets to see and has some motherfucker drowning pig guts like it's just to facilitate these killings there's no protagonist shouldn't be a movie it absolutely shouldn't but in this one you also get the benefit of watching like a like filthy surgery surgery on a budget uh with fucking uh jigsaw and lynn because like the whole thing is like she's like no he has to go to a fucking hospital this is insane he's got it he's bleeding out his brain is bleeding and man does like no i watch a bunch of 90 day surgeries and I know that you could do it here.

You could do it here. So we're just going to get something from Home Depot and then we're going to figure this out. All you have, all you have here in the way of medicine is Flintstones, chewable vitamins, birth control pills, and stacker two. Okay? So I don't know what we're going to be able to do here. I also have this Gatorade. There's electrolytes. That's medicine.

I mean, she plays this character. like the fucking the attitude, the tone of voice like it just has these echoes of like an ignorant douchebag Magachud and like man it's so frustrating

to watch this character talk and walk around like it fucking sucks it's just like oh yeah yeah we need to go to your fucking liberal hospital for surgery okay yeah she's got cute that's the thing is if she wasn't picked up by jigsaw

on was just right around the door right around the door uh i love because like this is the amanda bit the amanda section where we learn her situation and i guess what dude being a heroin addict is way better than being a murderer that's like 10 times 10 out of 10 you give me two options be addicted to heroin or murder a lot of people i will take the heroin every single time why is the heroin like oh oh oh makes you evil makes you well you know what i'm mean like come on we we've passed the war on drugs already shut the fuck up they're regular people that got high before oh my god the insertion of the detail that this character was a heroin addict that makes her like this fucking wretch that needed to be saved like it's stunning

because it's like did fucking ronald reagan write the screenplay like what are you doing it's 2006 and you're stigmatizing a heroin addict like come on make her a fucking child molester it would have had to been nancy i don't think ronald was up for writing at that point i don't think he remembered where his jelly beans were at that point ron wrote it but he just forgot to make it good yeah just like all of his policies but yeah i mean look the heroin addict thing is supposed to be like oh wow that's so jigsaw i guess helped that one woman out like no he didn't like she She just, you know what, she would have fucking found rehab at some point and not murdered a bunch of people.

Yeah, he, he, he, or she would have fucking tragically OD'd and not murdered a bunch of people. Or she would have just kept doing heroin and had a good time. Exactly. Maybe she'll, she fucking knows the balance and everything's fine. Shut the fuck up, movie. It's just so moralistic. I mean, that, which drives me nuts about this movie. And especially the argument we have at the end about who the real villain is, like, you're the real villain movie.

shut up yeah um so like basically you kind of watch a little bit of Amanda begins here and you do this is what we talked about this before like you see that she was part of the first saw movie she set everything up for him okay Amanda first thing you got to go get the blue poppy it grows on one specific hill you can take my private jet to Asia you know it's kind of amazing I love that there's one part of the like a little bit sooner around here is she has this nightmare about Adam

Lee Wannell's character oh my God like yeah murdering people will probably give you nightmares sorry that and candy before dinner and here's the thing right if you want to like take that little character moment then and thread it through the rest of the movies so that like those things

keep haunting her we keep seeing that imagery right and then she like turns on jigsaw, that's at least a thing. Yes. That's a character development a little bit. You know what I mean? God for fucking bid. But like as it is, like it's all just filler. It's all to just answer plot hole complaints

from Reddit. Yeah. From two. How did he fucking get on his face? How did Lee 1L get in the bathtub? Who farted? All these questions and more will be answered in Saw 3 flashbacks. And it's kind of great because, like, yeah, so she, her thing is like, I guess Jigsaw was like, all right, that was a really big saw movie I just did. I'm going to cock out for some sees. Also, what with the brain cancer? And while he's sleeping, she decides, I guess, to mercy kill Adam, right? That's what this is? Or it's not in your movie. I'm curious. wait she well it's no I mean what we saw at least was like she tries to do it and like she puts the bag over his head and hits his face on the pipe and he's bleeding or whatever but jigsaw has a line it's a blink and you miss it where he says like he basically says like you went and you tried to do that and then you didn't and I had to finish the job so it's he makes it sound at least like he came in saw that she had like tried to do it and

Adam was still alive and then Jigsaw finished the job Oh, I see. Yeah. Okay. I don't know if you had that line in yours. No, yeah. I think I just just that because it's like so, such a small whatever. Yeah. It's Saw 3 Steve. That's the problem.

Are we done? No. Sadly not. But so like there's that and then later on she kind of does, tries to do the same thing with Mark, with Donnie Waller, I wish to Mark Wahlberg, with Donnie Wahlberg. And this is when they get to this huge fight and the B word is flying and we're having a, we're having a blast on here on Saw 3.

It's almost funny is watching Donnie Wahlberg try to walk on his busted leg and his whole body falls down. Yeah, that was rough. dude having sprained my foot a few months ago in quarantine and dealing with that it was giving me some flashbacks it wasn't obviously as bad as what donnie walberg's dealing with here but any fucking foot trauma forget ankle trauma in general will just send i'll get the shiver down my spine whenever like i see something there the thing i do you think donnie walberg has a writer that in his contract that's like i get to say bitch at least seven times yes i do each project i'm involved in including Blue Bloods. Dude, the way

he says it's so many times in this movie, because it's just like when he's beating her up, he's saying it. Yep. After she gets the upper hand and she's walking away, he's like, you're nothing, bitch, you're nothing bitch! And like, Donnie, we called cut five minutes ago. And also

none of that was in the script. And I mean, this is where it's like vague, what happens to him. Like, she just kind of leaves him. And then what you find out in the third movie is that another jigsaw apprentice has him a different cell because he comes back and finally third sequel fourth move fourth movie he he bites it in the in the fourth movie finally okay you know what i thought he bought it in the second

movie and that would have been perfectly fine yep the long saga of mr eric matthews there is a there is a great thing though when he's yelling at her like one of the things i guess he thinks is the ultimate slam to this serial killer's apprentice is he's like you're You're not even fucking jigsaw. You think you're fucking jigsaw. You're not fucking jigsaw. You're nothing. He's speaking for like half of the audience who is so pissed off that their hero is dying on the fucking cancer table.

I also, I like that's how that line is also a compliment to jigsaw. Yes. Jigsaw, at least say what you want about Jigsaw, but he was pretty good at it. I mean, Jigsaw was so awesome. I mean, he killed like 17 kids and a bunch of teenagers. Like, oh, man, he was so awesome. You're nothing. You're nothing.

Yeah, it was almost an honor to die by his hand. But Amanda, I'm just. Well, actually, you wouldn't think a pig slop. Hey, hey, you wouldn't think a fucking pig slop. It's kind of funny because Donnie is a little bit right. Because what we learn at the end of this movie, when jigsaw is like, you know, this was actually a. test for you, Amanda, blah, blah, blah. The whole thing is he starts this off with, like,

you know, a couple of the traps that I had you set yourself that you came up with, they kind of fucking sucked. Because he basically says, like, for our previous detective that gets murdered, Carrie, is that her name? Yeah. From part two, and that guy Troy or Trey or whatever. He basically says that, like, her two traps weren't beatable. Like, she didn't give them a viable out,

And it's like, that's a jigsaw no-no. Which is like, and he's like, I despise murderers. Because I never murdered anybody. Come on, folks. Who have I murdered really? And it's like, you know what, dude? Fuck you. I'm a maimer.

Listen, I just maim people and put them in positions where they're either going to commit suicide or horribly maim themselves even further. And you know what? That's not murder where I come from. Listen, hate the game. Don't hate the player. Exactly.

last I checked, this is a nation of laws. Yeah, I mean, so while Reddit, am I the asshole? I fucking put someone in a vice that was going to rip their head off and put a key three inches away from it. Does that make me the asshole here or what? Amanda, I tried your prototype of the pig slop bin that we've been trying

and just a bunch of bones and flesh came at the man's face. No slop. No, nothing to drown. And this is, this is just subpar material, Amanda. Look, weren't you pig? Weren't you taking notes in class? I said they have to be rodding pig carcasses.

Not frozen pig carcasses. You fucking idiot. I put some random lady in that ice machine you made me, and she got hot. she actually got harder can you believe that uh while she is reminiscing the other big thing that's going on is jigsaw's brain is like pushing up against his skull and you know that's fucking with his motor function and his speech or whatever i'm just too fucking smart for this skull uh so our doctor lynn you want just make him like a robo cop two's cane just make him like a robo cop two's cane

take out Jigsaw's brain, put it into some fucking saw monster. That's kind of cool. Again, it's just as good as having him possess the puppet. Yeah, either or. But so like our doctor pseudo-protagonist, Lynn, has to like do this brain surgery, skull surgery. And like, this is the most grotesque part of the film. This is like a 10-minute scene. You're just watching Jigsaw get brain surgery.

It's quite something. It takes a long time. Apparently, this was somebody, something, something. The MPAA said it was so realistic looking. They couldn't really fault it from a Gora standpoint because it's like essentially, what do you want to call it there? It's like what you'd see in a documentary on a brain surgery. It's like, okay.

Okay. But a ding-dong is NC17. Got it. That's right. That's right. Because we still live in a puritanical society founded by weirdos. that came across on a boat well before my lineage ever washed up on these rotten shores. But you think like, uh, if they showed like so, okay. So like Steve said, if there's a ding

dong that's nc 17, this open brain surgery here, that's, that's just your R rating. What if like a fucking big juicy cock was getting brain surgery? Like what do you think that rating? That would be that would be X. That's just too much. Yeah. They're too. They're too. great flavors together at last, don't get me wrong, but I think it's too much for society. Send that shit over to Fort Dietrich, Maryland. But yeah, so she's, and it takes forever. There's some sawing into his skull. We're really, we're really doing it. And like Amanda, it's kind of hilarious because Amanda gets jealous because, I mean, like, of course, typical woman, right, guys, she's getting jealous because

like her man is talking to this brain surgeon. Dude. And it like it starts right here because like he starts having these hallucinations thinking he's seeing his wife. So in the fantasy, he's like, I love you. I love you. And then like you cut back to the room and it's like just this doctor. And he's like, I love you. I love you. And then you see Amanda just like fucking stewing in the corner. Amanda, Amanda, do not start with me, all right? Well, somebody like their brain surgeon quite a bit. I was in the middle of surgery, Amanda. You can't hold that back on me. Do not do that again. I love you so much. What do you think we should make for dinner tonight? I'm going to pick up some tomatoes and maybe some romaine lettuce and maybe we'll grill up some chicken

and oh, look at that dog. That looks like a dog that we're maybe. I'm sorry, I'm just remembering my wife. Well, if we're not eating that, what do you want for dinner? Oh, well, that doesn't help. Well, what are we going to eat? Well, if you wanted to give him a dollar bill, you should have given him a dollar bill. I don't know why I have to give him a dollar bill. Well, that woman be abducted and forced you to do brain surgery sure was pretty, wasn't she? She was really pretty. Wow, wow.

What a looker there, huh? Get a good look at our hostage there, did you? Was that fun? Was that fun for you? Amanda, do not. Do not. She's the best brain surgeon. I didn't even look at her.

Amanda? I told you I was in the middle of one of my wife's dreams. Have them all the time. Oh, yeah. Another wife dream. Great. Thought we were over this already. By the way, she's got kind of, you know,

Shawney Smith in this, her and Jigsaw, this relationship, very much kind of mirroring Becker in some way. Oh, really? Becker Bob. Becker Bob. Because Becker respected doctor. She obviously respects his opinion.

very much. And I don't think they ever gotten to a physical relationship. I don't even know if these two do. But it's kind of that when a evil person finds a protege, it's the same relationship in this and in Becker. Yeah, but when Ted Danson wanted to play a game

at the end of it, all you did was come. Yeah, dude, man, every explosive ending to Becker was something else. They made Bob watch. Bob just getting cucked in that diner I wish I knew who Bob was He's a guy on Becker

Guy I piece that part together I'm a guy on Becker man Is Bob the He was a regular On Becker He's a regular on Becker Is Bob the dude Played by Alex Dezere from Hepcat

the guy from PCU. Is he short? I don't believe so. African American gentleman. That's another fellow. No, Bob is a short white guy. I mean, he's an actor that you might recognize,

but I'm not going to say his name now because he's Bob on Becker to me. And again, Steve, Bob is not in Grace Under Fire. He is in Becker. Okay, got it. He's a character from Becker. Actually, so I looked at it.

So I'll say it, Eric, because he played a great character. Severio Guera is the actor. He played fucking Moka Joe on Curvy Your Enthusiasm. Yes, totally. Now, I also want to let listeners at home know that I've watched all of Becker because I was paid to when I worked at CBS many moons ago. All 129 episodes? Probably. Wow.

Yeah. And I'll tell you this, this is some surprising information. I did not know that Becker lived to see 9-11. That show rental 2004. Oh, was there a Becker? Was a Becker 9-11 episode? There must have been. You had to.

Becker couldn't hold his tongue during those times. I don't remember that. Oh, wow. Terry Farrell from DS9 was a regular? Yeah, she was. Yeah. Now, my favorite part of Becker was, you know, is everyone still listening? My favorite part of Becker was the way they would double.

the Bronx by using footage of Astoria Queens, which is where I lived at the time, so it was very thrilling to see shit like two blocks down in Becker! Unbelievable. Oh, Nancy Travis, that's too bad, Becker. So whatever, they're yelling at each other

and at this point, I think earlier in the movie there was the yeah, yeah, cat fight in my version, but it kind of comes to nothing. Is that when she pulls the piece on her? They're more of a fight there? I think that I kind of, the fight is just sort of nothing.

This is saddish quote, by the way, was Shawnee Smith to someone was like, I can't wait for to be nominated for a best fight on the MTV movie awards for me. And the lady that plays Lynn. And it's like that didn't even happen. Imagine wanting to be nominated for an MTV movie award and then failing even at that. But dude,

it's not just that. It's wanting that. and navigating two paths from the same film with which you could get that nomination because it wasn't only the fight with her, she said also the fight with Donnie Wahlberg. So she's like, I have to have this nomination in the bag,

two excellent fights in the same film. Here I come, MTV Movie Awards. And fucking Tobin Bell lost. He was best villain at the MTV Movie Awards that year. He was nominated. He was nominated. He lost to fucking Jack Nicholson and the departed.

Well, good. Yeah. I say good. Did Nicholson show up to collect the moon man? I do not know. I don't know that. It's the only time Jack Nicholson and Tobin Bell were ever in the same fucking room. Listen, I don't know where I am.

Goodbye. Hey, didn't you sell me Coke once? Oh, man. So like, um, Becker. Becker, man. classic show you might find late night on syndication although i don't think they aired anymore but back in the late aughts you know late night on television after everything else is pretty much over sometimes you could catch an episode of becker on a syndicated station it's like finding a

fucking saskwatch in the woods dude yeah we're creeping back to beck pod which this uh show i can't i can't devolved into uh jeff uh jeff comes upon finally his son's murderer. I wouldn't use that word, but the movie does. The man who killed his son, and he's in the worst trap of... By the way, it's him and the judge now, and the judge is really being like, hey man, you got to chill

out, Jeff. You are riding a little too hard. Like, even if I sentenced your son's murderer, yada, yada, they wouldn't bring him back, etc., etc. Uh-oh, the next room, there's your son's murderer. And it's this thing where twisty arms and twisty

legs and eventually twisty heads. kind of a thing. Yep. I love that in the tape for this, there's a couple of great details. First of all, Jigsaw continuing his hilarious use of monosyllabic first names. He's like, hey, Jeff, welcome to your third challenge.

Here is Tim, the guy who murdered your son. And I'm like, come on, Jeff and Tim. Jesus Christ. Is you like Frank Costanzas? I just want everyone to wear name tags. Hello, Joe. How you doing, Jeff? Tim, why did you kill that kid?

And then also, the other thing in the tape, though, he's like, and also, Jeff, I might just point out here, I think this is my favorite of all of my contraptions. That's right. It's the rack. Oh, yeah, director's commentary on this contraption. Yeah, this was kind of my favorite. We had a, me and a man had a lot of fun putting this one together.

I carved our initials on this. just for the memories A plus J in a heart I do I think it's a little weird and not the best look for a movie like this to have this Your only black character

Be tortured and killed on camera Yeah well lyric bent is in it for like a hot second To be fair Oh right lyric bent is like the cop who But I mean like he was like supposed to be bigger In this movie but then wasn't because he was making something else good for him Like make the if you if you if you

If you want to make one of these three people the, you know, in your traps is make him the judge. You know what I mean? Black judge, totally fine. It's just weird that this guy's like half naked and we're ripping him apart. Like, it's not, he's not even human. We get really into this pretty quick. Like his bones start shooting out of his legs when the rack twists his arms and legs to positions. You can't twist them, folks.

And not for nothing. I mean, like, he went in to try to save that. lady he saved the judge he gives up on this dude like instantly there's this shotgun in a box there's a whole dangling this fucking daffy duck trap and it's like if you put if you will you take a bullet for the man who killed your son or whatever and he just like uh jeff by the way i'm now going to be talking about i'm talking about jeff now jeff he he he takes the key off the string pretty smart but then the gun goes off anyway but by that time his aren't has moved out of the box and it shoots the judge in the head and that's the end of the judge

character yep i mean you got to be like hey judge man i'm about to like fiddle with this thing maybe don't stand right yeah like hey man give you a wide berth here like you know it's the judge was like at the rack trying to like oh no no no no no no let me put that back let me try to yeah the judge is trying more than this fucking jeff guy absolutely exactly the judge is a level-headed normal well norm i don't know he's probably a piece of shit too but the fact that i mean this guy probably didn't deserve life in jail for whatever automotive accent this is i would have loved to even fucking seen the accident that'd be something like start the movie with that don't start with donnie walberg yelling fucking bitch are the cars in these movies is anyone

driving in a car uh is a car a warehouse because then if not the answer is it's uh only warehouse Cars are pretty basic for movies, fellas. Warehouses. You know, us, us here on We Hate Movies asking the hard-hitting questions is a car a warehouse. But so like that's it. Jeff makes it through his third trap alone. The judge is dead.

Tim is dead. And he does keep yelling like, I forgive him. Like as if that's going to do anything. Fat-loaded good to my fucking racked corpse. Almost kind of funny. You know, Jeff with this. key trying to find like where the fuck do I put it in the rack and by the time he's up there

trying to scramble the dude's head has been twisted around completely on his spot that's the other thing to jigsaw you want to I'm not a murderer it's like that make these traps a little easier you know what I mean it's really about the experience of having to make these decisions and also having to you know overcome yada yada sure make your traps a lot easier because I would even if I, like, was willing to forgive whomever, I never would have been able to figure this shit out. You know, I can't stress this enough. If you take someone and put them in a murder machine

and turn that murder machine on, you are a murderer. Oh, that's the way I was raised. Sure, sure. Make them an easy murder trap. Of course, you would say that, Stephen. You don't want to break the record of Mr. H.H. Holmes, the most wonderful man in America. Of course, millennials are going to complain about how difficult.

my murder traps are. You know what? Take your $5 coffee and then, you know, fucking roll up your sleeves and figure out a murder trap once in a while. I mean, I just think about avocado toast, and I just think of a machine

that would just chop everybody under 30's head off. Like just all clean off. Oh, I'm sorry. Is my murder machine harder than your candy crush game on your phone? Maybe if you don't, you just stop looking at your phone and fucking look at a merger machine

once in a while, you'll be able to solve it. Yeah, and maybe you could flip pancakes, put yourself through college on that good money and buy 17 warehouses. Oh, my God, it's like they want a life that they can believe in and hope. Ha ha, ha, I'll have to laugh at that when I talk with my best friend Donald Trump about this.

Oh, Jigsaw, you have done it again. We're going to get some of these installed at Mar-a-Lago. So Jeff Meanwhile Amanda and Jigsaw are really going at it now We're yelling at each other This is when Jigsaw is basically like you know Your traps suck because you're trying to murder people And I never murder people

And she Amanda the most sensible thing What do you? Of course you do That's all we're doing here dude We're murdering people This is where she does have the like I'll tell you how I felt about Eric Mazzis Matthews and then this is the big like Donnie Wahlberg scene that like you know news alert they made all this hubbub of like they kept it totally secret that Donnie Wahlberg was in this movie like who gives a shit it doesn't matter and also it's Donnie Walberg is not fucking Marlon Brando you know what I mean like you know you gotta surprise me with Marlon Brando in a saw movie wow holy shit what do you want me to do here they murder my boy

Chigsaw, he murdered my boy. That orange you have in your mouth right now is poisonous. Now that is my Don Corleone. It's a pretty good one. Like, it's fucking Donnie Wahlberg. Actors I expect to see in this song movie, Donnie Walberg's on the top of the fucking list. Yeah.

But so whatever, like, you know, this is what she walks away from after their fight. after they're not even not their MTV Movie Award snubbed fight and yada yada yada this is when she's

like he's like you have to let Lynn go because she passed her test I'm still alive that's all we ask and she's like no I'm not going to do it because I'm mean and I'm a lady and ladies are bad and he's like oh ladies are bad what a good screenplay excellent

and yeah This set, the other thing, and Jeff shows up and shoots her in the neck. And it's like, oh, and he's like, Amanda, guess what? Lynn, it wasn't Lynn's trap. It was yours. And you failed it. I saw this coming for some reason that you would get shot in the neck and I would just watch it or something. Oh, interesting.

What a genius. What a Machiavelli and Stroke a genius, this Jigsaw fellow. While he was doing this Like if I was Lynn Even if I was Lynn I would just be like Uh huh Like I'd start doing the sarcastic

Like oh sure buddy Yeah okay Okay uh huh Okay Oh that's right Amanda shoots Lynn first Yeah And yes

And this is when I mean I I watch this last night By myself I know Jen had no No interest in this film But I let Rightfully so

That's surprising Given the human centipede Yeah I mean We don't love that movie, Eric. You want to be clear about that. Their first date was not to go see Saw. It was to go see Human Centipure.

And actually, the Human Centipede movies do not take themselves as seriously as this movie. That's actually true. I'll be honest. That's true. Human Cetepede, that first movie, better movie. Oh, I agree with you. 100%. Yep.

But, and I'll take that action. This next line made me laugh so hard. She's like, what? What happened? Because he shoots, she shoots Lynn. And then I think she gets shot in the neck right afterwards.

And Jigsaw goes, you just murdered Jeff's wife. But the way he delivers it is like, oh, that's sad, what you just took a bite of? Oh, you're in trouble. That was Jeff's. Oh, boy. He's got to be so steaming mad at you now. That was Jeff's lunch. I hope you like a strongly worded letter on your refrigerator.

He wrote his name on the bag, Amanda. That was Jeff's wife. You murdered Jeff's wife. Really had me cackling. And you know, here's the thing about it too, dude. It's like that is a line meant for the dumbest of the dumb or in case you were in the bathroom in the theater and then you came back in and missed it like the buildup to it. is like they so telegraph that Jeff is actually the one who is with Lynn. You know, like you solve it way before.

And then it's like, uh, in case you were busy taking a shit, she just killed Jeff's wife. Hey, literally slow Joe in the back row. That lady, that's Jeff's wife. You picked a bad time to get another bag of popcorn because that was. Jeff's wife. That's Jeff's wife, Lynn. Do you remember her name? It was Lynn. Lynn Dellen? Yeah, well, it turns out he's Jeff Dellen. How about that? Game of twisted picture. So, meanwhile, Jeff is like, oh man, I'm really mad about you ruining my life a couple of times over here, Jigsaw. And he's like, could you forgive me, Jeff? And it's like, no I can't jigsaw because you're a piece of shit and yeah I'm going to

murder you right now where he and I believe there's different what cut what did Jeff use in this one in your version is my question a like electric table saw that's what I had to okay but I think the circumstances of it

are like what we see is like she is Lynn is like not dead and she's trying to like tell him like no this, if he dies, this thing's going to go off on me? Like, she's trying to say that, but, like, can't speak. Yeah, that's happening to me, too.

Okay. Yeah, she's like, oh, but Jeff, don't, don't Jeff, you know, kind of a thing. Right, right, right, right. And then he just, he, yeah, slices his throat open, basically, and, like, Tobin Bell's kind of just smiling the whole time. I want to look it up, though, Steve, because in the trivia here at the bottom,

let's see, in the spoilers, uh, god damn, now, uh, let's see if I can find it somewhere. Oh, son of a bitch. Of course now, I don't know where it was, but it was explaining what the difference was in the director's cut here. But, I don't know.

And the director's cut, she's just called Lynn and not Jeff's wife. You just killed Lynn. Hey, Amanda, did you notice you just killed him? We had to fight tooth and nail for that cut. Do we ever, do we ever know the name of the son that died? at all Dylan Dylan yes is it Dylan yeah it is Dylan yeah Dylan Denlin okay yeah he deserved to die and the son the the daughter Corbett yeah I'm gonna name my daughter

how about a Corbett well apparently that's the name that is the name of Lee Wannell's now wife but then then girlfriend's interesting yeah hey but uh so Corbett. As she, as I mean, I'm sure they're both lovely. As Jigsaw dies, it's totally Jeff's fault, I guess, because now and you know, Jigsaw did

not kill Lynn, by the way. No. But no, her head explodes from multiple shotgun blasts. Oh, wait, so Steve, here here's what it is. So in another, this is what IMD says, so tell me if this is what you saw. In another ending, Jigsaw drops

the tape, recorder instead of immediately playing it. A delusional Jeff quietly sits down next to his decapitated wife's corpse not realizing that she is dead saying that he's going to get her out of there before picking up the recorder and listening

to it. So is that what happens? That is what happens and that's you know you get to really see her like totally destroyed head which is sort of something you get like a brief shot of that in what we saw but Jigsaw plays the tape recorder in the theatrical cut

that's the difference I was thinking about and it doesn't matter one lick everybody no because and then like it's like oh you're gonna play if you're gonna survive

Jeff you have to play yet another game which I don't believe ever happens because in the next movie it's all about the other thing I don't even know if we ever get to see in part five

is Jeff finding the daughter I don't know we have to go to Saw franchise expert Chris Cab I do not believe I believe that you're supposed to believe that they just die in here yeah i don't think jack comes back interesting or take that jeff you fucked it up again dude you fucking

killed both of your children good job buddy way to go jeff well corbett comes back i think right i was just on a character list and it said that oh maybe she's a lie like she gets older and takes revenge or something say yeah i don't know you saw this shit not me i beat it's been years and i hate this so yeah corbett all right corbett denlin appears in saw three saw four, saw five, saw six status alive. Oh, so she's alive, but he is not. But the thing is with the way they do characters in these movies,

maybe I have no idea that's a central figure. They mention her. They cut away. Yeah. It's all of the, because it even happens in this movie, like at the end right here, we get this like super fast montage of like everything that has happened across all three movies. Yeah. Like leading up to this moment.

of him getting his throat cut. By the way, this says that Jeff dies and saw four during the rescue mission for fucking Eric Matthews. Well, maybe because I skipped, maybe because I skipped part three, it wasn't so moved about Jeff's death at the end. Oh, that could be. You need to

take in the whole franchise to really get the emotional weight of the whole thing. Yep. Yeah. Could lose, well, could gain some pounds, I guess I could say. And that is the film by Darren Lynn Bozman. God damn, man It's like these movies are exhausting

Yep For like so For them to be like so nothing And to still be so exhausting It's really a triumph Yeah It's just disgusting and like off putting In a very like lame way

Yes exactly So we'll We'll get right into the nose Would anybody recommend this? No of course not I mean I think that this I don't even know I couldn't even think about

I mean maybe this is better than two or something Nope two's probably better I don't know This one's just gross and it takes fucking forever And like I really think you're supposed to care about jigsaw And or Amanda and that's impossible So therefore the movie's a fucking failure dude You failed your movie because there's nobody likable in here Not even Jeff himself is likable

Nice Chris Ken Yeah echo that fuck this movie It's terrible I mean the thing about this series is that what you do come out with the thing that I remember them most after watching all these things is Jigsaw and his stupid

fucking backstory. Because he's the only character. He's really the only person that they put real time into crafting as, and it took seven movies to get the full story. I thought you were going to say that the only thing you liked about these movies, or the

thing you remember most about these movies are the tie-in hot sauces from Taco Bell. Well, they are splatterific and they're wonderful. No, Taco Bell, pig juice sauce. Wait, how's that different? How's that different from regular Taco Bell? Put it on the carnitas.

No, yeah, it's a terrible movie. And I wouldn't even say there's a good death here. So, yeah, a complete waste of time. Yeah, Eric Sisko. Yeah, no, I agree with that. I don't even think there is a good death here, which is a bummer. I don't like the Saw movies. I don't like the torture porn stuff.

I mean, I love some of the, some of the people that worked on this. I love a lot of their work. Yeah. The aforementioned Becker. Upgrade and Invisible Man, I both, I love both of those movies. I still got to see Upgrade. That's good. I really, I really like it.

I know maybe it's not everyone's bag, but it's basically an action, you know, sci-fi, cyberpunk type of thing. Yeah. Yeah. I also love when James Juan learned how to make scary movies with Insidious and the Conjury. those are fucking scary movies that are really good yeah totally so it's a no for me if we didn't get to that i it's definitely a no big no this is a hardcore no for me um i this movie and the next one i i had technically seen massive greenouts to like poor quality torrents so like

i really only remembered like the last sequence of this movie because it was when i i woke up to go to the bathroom and the movie was still on. But I have a feeling and because this other franchise was mentioned I feel like this is happening. So for a while, years

ago, like it was really like pecking at the back of my noodle, like, you know, you've only seen those first two Hellraiser movies. And then we did an episode on the third one. And then I was like, just fucking do it. And I

watched all of the Hellraiser movies. And like, gentlemen, it's just episode city. Ooh. They're so, they're fucking terrible. Yeah. So terrible. I have a feeling, especially with a lot of these being placed on HBO Max, I might be completing watching all of these movies. Oh, dude. That's on you, man. I know. I know. I wouldn't be really clear. I know. No one's asked you to do that. I just want to be really clear. You know what? And I know that inevitably, too, when we do the next Saw movie, I'm going to have to re-watch some.

Oh, yeah, for sure. But there's this, like, this disgusting, sick, twisted pictures like mentality in my head where I'm like, well, I got to finish the franchise. So I don't know, because I know I'm going to see Spiral. So I can't just see the latest. Watch Upgrade instead. That's mine. I won't do any of the sequels

until I've seen Upgrade. How about that? Yeah, and the problem with watching those sequels is that you're going to forget there's nothing memorable. You're not going to locking those in for spiral. It's pouring over you like water. Let me ask you this, Chris Cabin.

Yes. After this movie, do I have to put up with Shawnee Smith anymore? I do believe so. I think you're talking to her at least, I think you see at least one more flashback. Yeah. Maybe you talk to me right out of this whole project,

that is Saw 3 directed by Darren Lynn Bozeman. If you want more We Hate Movies, of course, Patreon. Patreon.com slash we hate movies. We have a quite entertaining We Love Movies episode out right now on the masterful John Carpenter's Escape from New York which was a little bit of a tie-in to little mini Russell rules

we had at the beginning of the month because we were of course talking about the great Stargate. What the hell else we got on that Patreon this month? We've got an episode on The Critic to tie in with last week's Talking Simpsons crossover app on the Simpsons. So we're talking about the critic. I believe it's Dr. Jay is that episode. And that's kind of a W. L.M. Obviously.

Oh, yes, absolutely. Fucking love it, baby. And we also have our, obviously, our nexus is coming up this week. Coming up this month. Yep. And we are talking about a massive Star Wars character this month. Oh, yes.

Yes, one of the Imperials you might recognize from Empire Strikes Back, played by Julian Glover, General Veers, the famous line. We all know, you guys jump to, it before me if you want, but General Veers, prepare your men, or whatever, anyway, I don't want to spoil the Gleap

glossary tune in for the rest of that line. Ooh. Ooh, I like that. Oh, nice little gleep cliffhanger. Keep him water more. That's right. And my episode by episode Becker podcast is on hiatus forever.

It's failing miserably is what it is. That's my other one too. No. You just had a job on, which is a rule. Yes, that's right. Angelica Jade Bastien, if you like her on this program and her amazing writing, she was on hooked on T.J. Hooker, the T.J. Hooker podcast that for some reason exists. And as always here on the main feed, we're keeping the train rolling next week. Steve,

we got a brand spank a new episode out for folks, which will be on what? The Mighty Ducks. Ooh, the OG classic? Sure. I don't know. Yeah, no, it's not. It's not great. right. This is going to be a nostalgia buster. It's a classic of drunk driving cinema.

A little theme going across a couple of the episodes. Could have hit a kid. Oh, Saw, taking a... Hello, Gordon, Bombay. Would you want to play a game? That's not hockey? So, until next week with the Mighty Ducks, I'm Andrew Jupin.

Steven Sadek. Eric Soska. Chris Cabin. Take it easy. We all go a little mad sometimes. You know, it's Halloween. I guess everyone's entitled to one good scare. Sometimes, that is better. Zombies have entered the building.

They're at the door. They're coming in. It is time to keep your appointment with the command. They're coming to get you, boy. Barbara. I'm sick for fucks you've seen one too many movies. Now, Sid, don't you blame the movies. Movies don't create psychos.

Movies make psychos more creative. Put the fucking looser in the back. That's an excellent day for an exited. That was a hate gum podcast.