We Hate Movies - S11: Episode 554 - Fast Five (with Jon Gabrus)

Episode Date: June 22, 2021

On this episode, the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza heads to franchise town as the gang welcomes back gentleman and Fast scholar, Jon Gabrus to chat about the totally outrageous Fast Five! How much does this franchise hate fucked vibes? Did they shoot that Toretto v. Hobbs fight scene like a kaiju film? And was Dwayne Johnson really brought into this franchise because of a fan's IG comment? PLUS: Burt Young as Great Grandfather Toretto? It could happen! Fast Five stars Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne Johnson, Jordana Brewster, Tyrese Gibson, Chris 'Ludacris' Bridges, Sung Kang, Gal Godot, Matt Schulze, Tego Calderon, Don Omar, Joaquim de Almeida, and Elsa Pataky; directed by Justin Lin. Catch WHM on tour this fall, hopefully! WHM Merch Store Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

this week on the program. We're getting the family back together again. It's Fast 5. I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Sadek. Eric Siska. Chris Cabin. John Gabris. Got it. And we. We hate movies. Hello, everyone, welcome to the program, as you can't be a fucking doozy, as you can tell already. Five on the summer blockbuster extravaganza from 2011 directed by Justin Lynn and we got Sir John Gabris back with us. How you doing, man? Oh, it feels so good to be here. My fucking ego is gas that you guys invite. I pictured the four of you going like, all right, we're covering fast five. And then like Eric's like, we're going to need someone who's good with circuits. And with those circuits means there's going to be walls. And we need someone who is loud and opinionated about movies. And you guys. Got him. And now the team is complete.

Now we can do the heist. Yeah, this is the crew. We wanted to celebrate one of the most diverse action blockbusters of all time by getting another white guy in here. Just really solidify it. Off the bat off the, off the rip, Vin Diesel has had the diverse movies cornered from the get-go home. Yeah.

Like no one's ever had to tell him to like, you can't have that many white people. He knows what fucking works. He knows what's, he's a business man. And that's going to be my whole thesis for this, this episode. So I'll let you guys, but I'm ready to fucking scream. I'm ready to go in. We're doing this, of course, because Fast 9, the Fast Saga, or what is it? What is the F9, the Fast Saga?

There it is. None of that, there's no format. They never, there's no pattern to all nine movie names. No. Has anybody else seen it? what no you saw it right cabin i saw it has anybody else seen it i have not got my tickets oh man it is it's a lot of fun it's i think it's one of the funer one like i i really hated the last one the last one was like the work maybe the worst of the bunch is that is that fate of the furious

that is a previous episode fate of the furious um for a number of reasons but uh it's just bad and this one was a lot of fun thank god magnets yeah i love You'll know, you'll know later. Now, they should introduce, like, the Michelin Man or something to the fast saga. You know, car-related, maybe the pep boys. The pep boys, definitely. Like, in a ready player one type situation, we just have, like, the Bridgestone guys coming out. Or, like, just go way, like, you're doing, like, way over product places.

Vin's just like, now I have the mightest touch. And he just starts turning everything into gold. But it's also a car-related thing. Oh, but he's actually doing, though. He actually possesses the power of King Minus. Interesting. Because that's where this franchise could go. They get the power of Midas,

and they still insist on robbing things for like $100,000. It's the best way for us to make a living. It's like, ah, okay. Now it's just the thrill of the chase. Gold wheels. That's all we need. Then we'll get the money. Don't worry.

No, we're not going to sell the wheels. we're just going to make the wheels gold. We can't do the mission now. We spent it all on the gold wheels. And so Cabin, like, just don't spoil anything. But I will say, I'm really excited to see whatever dumb-ass way they explain how Han is not dead. Oh, I mean, there's so many, like, this is the, what I like about this is completely, it just abandons the idea that people are going to die. Like, at every, like, I think that's.

the whole series. That's not just like that that's that's uh wait so are you saying vince is coming back in fast nine cabin no i'm not saying that series series a series uh hero bince there are there are incidents in f9 where someone is clearly dead like no argument about it like could not happen not that exactly a lot of crushings um oh sure and then they like walk around the corner of the thing that was about to crush them and like yeah it's like they've abandoned any like trying to explain how these are mortals

they just are like fuck it it's funny you say that because this is the first movie where Dom and Brian and company stop being afraid of anything there is no there is no fear

there is no stress they click like the whole opening train sequence is like 11 of the most dangerous things that's happened to any of these characters so far in the history that we know about them and there's not even a moment where they're like oh shit they just they know they got two of the most wooden actors in the business and it's like let's just they don't need to react to anything let's just get them out there so i think you're right chris in that like eventually they have to start well if our characters aren't afraid to die maybe it's because death isn't real in the fast saga world or And it's like, it's not so far. That's right. We recruited a new guy to the crew, St. Peter. He's going to send us right back down. You know what death is? Death is fucked vibes.

And the Fast and Furious saga is all about positive vibes, good vibes. Family. Death is bad vibes. Yeah, stop ruining this fucking barbecue. Death, get the hell out of here. Brush it off your shoulder. Who cares? You find out immediately that death doesn't exist in the Fast universe in this movie.

Because this bus crash, would be full of decapitations. The bus driver, dumb, anyone else anywhere near this thing, their head is popping off like a grape. I swear to God. You're getting fucking bust to jail for the rest of your life.

The last thing you're thinking about is putting a seatbelt on. These dudes are flying through this bus like fucking rag dolls in a washing machine. And the fact that the news report is like, and amazingly there were no fatalities. Kill the bus driver at least. Come on.

that's that's something that's new to modern action movies where we can't have our heroes like accidentally kill anybody because it's like people starting to do the math of like wait a minute wouldn't he have killed 20 prisoners who were just blah blah but like in i think it's in six or seven the ones they all start to blend together after this one but like they're like and that that base is now empty of all citizens and just full of terrorists and you're like what so it's like yeah you're right you're allowed to kill whoever you see and no stress about explosions. They do that at the end of this movie. When they're fucking doing the bank thing, they're like, oh my God, all the corrupt cops are going after you now.

So everybody, you kill, it's good. It's fine. Even in Serpico's New York, there were a couple of good apples still hanging around. You know what I mean?

Like some guys that were just still like, just checking in, getting their pension and doing their best. Like somebody stole the fucking bank. We got to go get it. Like these good cops died that. day they're taking they're taking money but it's from weed dealers low level stuff they're corrupt but they're the good corrupt just because that one cop was like hey serpico you suck in that guy's

dick or what doesn't mean that guy's a corrupt cop he's just an asshole he doesn't deserve to die he's just a cop the common question I love that this movie I mean that whole bus scene uh Steve because we were talking about this on the text thread earlier but like you didn't watch 4. That's the end of 4. It's the tail end of 4 and it just stops before you see what happens. Like all the cars drive up and they're all behind the wheel and Ben Diesel's

like, say it sounds like there's a couple other cars on this road. And that's the end of it. So I love that this movie is like previously on Fast and Furious. This means that this movie must be stressful for fucking Dom because he went straight from ampersand into this. This is relentless.

He's on like 18 days of straight like traumatic stress like he's like 18 days in the fucking fires of life and where and where and he's no scars no markings no injuries no limp just complete no smile no facial expressions no light in his eyes no oh no I think you just cracked it because there's a time when Brian and Mia get to Rio first I think Vin is like I needed dude dude you were on the run, I need a day. I want one single day of just like going in the

movies, getting a milkshake, and going to bed. That's my day. I like that Dominic Torretto's day he needs is so clearly Steve's day. That's what relaxing is. You know, Dom? He wants to go to the movies and drink a milkshake and go to bed at four. It's like, uh, Steve. Dom, he wants to lay naked

in a huge hotel king-sized bed masturbating to pay pornography. Dom definitely wants Original copies of DC Masterpieces The first Superman to read Just for the day That's what Don Torado's like

He's exactly like that Yeah But you have to add in like a keg of Corona There's got to be Dude I will say this movie So Fast 5 Two landmark things for this motion picture One

This is where the franchise Like really explodes They got they were Universal was like We're getting too wrapped up in like the world, the like streetcar culture and whatnot. Let's expand this, make it a little more accessible for larger audiences. Boom.

And now it's a huge action franchise. Other thing that's fucking crazy about this movie, first time in franchise history, if I'm not mistaken, Vin Diesel, consuming beer that is not a Corona. When they're in Rio. And the last. And the last time. No, seriously. So Corona comes back?

Corona comes back. The Delta variant. It comes pretty hard in 2019. from Wuhan from the Corona brewery in China It's amazing that they're going to still have that name now You thought they would have to abandon ship After like a million died

But yeah No I still I still drink HIV whiskey every night before about it They definitely should have changed their name They've been around since the late 70s They knew what they were up to They say call it Hiv I don't think that makes it better I still buy my toys from 9-11s.

That's the cutest little toy store down on the lowery side. It's 9-11. You got to support your local businesses, man. It's right across the street from KB Toys. You know, Kaboom? That's what it's short for. People don't know that.

It's kaboom. It's kaboom. This movie, Fast 5, you mentioned that it kicks off and kind of like heightens the action franchise to more than just kind of a point break with cars and turns it into sort of like Marvel with cars instead of like and I'm I'm here for it like so I love all all this shit but this movie came out in 2011 I was I'm going to give you a little personal history here

me Ben Rogers and Gavin Spieller were running with Outlook of the Poet every Thursday night at Cage Match and we started being like Thursday at 11 is so annoying to like do a show yeah what if started going to the movies because that would be a fun thing that wouldn't be like eating and drinking. So we go to the movies. Unbeknownst to us, we go on like a 16 week cage match run.

And we're like crushing it. We're like oh, I'm now seeing a movie every week. And this is in 2011. So 10 years ago, New York, not ideal to see movies, at least for me at that time. It wasn't a thing that was part of my life. And fast

five in the theater. We walked out. And I was like, was that insanely fun? And both guys were like, yes, that was super fun. And that changed my perspective. I think it changed movies in general, business-wise, but it also changed my brain. And I was like, I had so much fun in this movie. I will now see every movie in theater for the rest of my life. Like, Fast 5 was that movie for both the franchise and myself where I was like, okay, this is the new vibe

going forward. Movies are back. I can tell you, other movies that came out in that run we're like the eagle with Channing Tatum you're eventually like just like okay I guess we'll see this movie that's out before we go Channing Tatum with with co-star Dennis O'Hare and that's it

I think who's the good actor Ben Foster who but he's not important in that movie no no no but yeah it's such a small part yes the movies were getting so bad you're like getting ready to take the stage like hey guys should we throw it tonight

should we just throw it should we just watch two episodes of the Sopranos before each again. Even money. Oh, and the other big thing that happens in this movie, sorry, is kind of what you guys did

with this episode is bring in a heavy hitter from like an outside the kind of core group and be like this is the only person who can go toe to toe with jupein. We got to get gabrist. This is the like, now we're like pulling from all the movies, you know, and now we're making this big

collective team. This is the first time we see everybody like this. I got to say, I don't appreciate the fact that they kind of change the Tyrese character a little bit from Too Fast, Too Furious to this. Like, to make him like more like the Wiseacre funny guy, like, he's doing material for the rest of these movies. I mean, it's just sort of, I mean, you're asking Tyrese way too much because he's a good, like,

dramatic, you know, actiony guy, but like if you want a comedy guy, you can find people to do comedy for you. You know what I mean? Like, and just like him vamping in that Michael Bay like improv school way of doing stuff, it just makes your skin crawl. Yeah, it's really weird

that there hasn't been any type of comedian in these movies, right? I could tell you why. Because Vin will not allow it. Because I would like draw too much attention to that person. Like put fucking and I mean, Hobbs and Shaw tried it with a couple of comedy people

and that was brutal to watch with Kevin Hart. Yes. Oh, my God. Yeah, and you're like, oh, please stop. But I feel like Vin doesn't have, like, because it's something he can't do. Yeah. So I think if someone comes on, like, that's why it's like, oh, we cast Tyrese as the comic relief in our movies because it won't offend Vin Diesel because he can hang with Tyrese. That's why he hates the Rock. Yes. The Rock can do that. The Rock can do both of them. He fucking hates him because he's got the fucking juice, man. He's got complete control of his eyebrows, which. Vind does not have. You look at that dude straight on sometimes and I'm like, is that guy mad or is that guy confused? Does he have to take a shit? Those eyebrows don't give nothing away. They're going every which way.

It's a gallum face, for sure. Is it true? I was reading the thing about like the reason the rock was in this movie because they were trying to get an older guy to play Hobbs initially. And then If you believe the IMDB trivia, it was like, oh, well, some fan made some comment on like Instagram or somewhere and was like, oh, wouldn't it be cool, Vin Diesel if you were in a movie with The Rock and like you guys went at it? And he was like, yeah, that sounds like a great idea. And then like that's supposedly how the Rock came into this franchise. And then ironically, this franchise vaulted him to the next strata of Rockness. And Vin Diesel kind of left in the dust. So we can just pick.

to Vin Diesel on Instagram? I think that's the idea. Trust me, he doesn't listen. Let's do karaoke, Vin. Yeah, that's a good idea. Oh, wait, no, I was talking about the rock, having the rock of the movie. Yeah, well, I think the reason Hobbs and Shaw

came together is because they wanted to have the rock fight, they wanted to have Hobbs fight Shaw in that movie in Fast 6 or 7 or whatever. And Vin Diesel put, as the producer as an EP, the kibosh on it. It's like too much attention about too. So they were like, fuck it, we'll just make a whole movie about these guys. But yeah,

I don't think we're going to see a lot more Hobbs in the fast movies going forward. I don't think so. No. I mean, because well, Vin said what? He wants to do 10 of these movies. So if that's, if that holds true, there's only one left. And who could possibly be added? It's got to be Mark Wahlberg. I think it's like the only

like this tier action person they haven't put in the fast movies yet. Does he say like he wants there to be 10 is that like after the next movie and that's it or 10 of him being in the movie it's actually a lot in two and three right I was reading a vulture it's 11 first of all

definitely another one and another one after that and he's open to a Dom Toreto's spinoff movie talking about his family which I'm like how on earth is there a stone to unturn in the Dom Toreto psychology? Every family member is being

added to the fucking show it's going to be a net sitcom. Yeah, yeah, the new one is, I mean, everybody knows, John Sinus's his brother in the new one. Yeah. Out of nowhere. But like there's, I'm not even going to get anything away, but there's a whole fucking thing with his dad in this one. Of course. Oh, really? And I'm telling you, they're going to add an uncle. They'll add a mother. They'll add another mother. They'll, they'll add enough to give him more fucking story. They'll do it. Listen, if it's, if it's Netflix presents the

Tourettoes. And it's all these characters, but you just make it like a situational comedy. I'd be down for that. You set it in the gas station from the first one and they're making tuna fish sandwiches and shit. No, it's just, it's every Sunday after church at his dad's house is what it is. It's like, for all the people of the neighborhood. For all the people in the day, but we're a good family. I just looked it up. Bert Young is alive as great-grandfather. Toretto, I'm into Burt Young. Just like, just like a shrunken peanut Vind Diesel

kind of thing. Why are you to racing no more? You should be out to racing more, Tom. And just like in Rocky 4, he could buy Dom a fucking robot for his birthday. So the scene that like really kicked this, the thing that really, the

train scene is the thing I remembered most the first time coming out of this, them robbing the train. Vela foot race is the thing that stuck with me. Truly, just watching Vin Diesel sprint full speed and leap, that burned in my head from like having, like, also like foot chases aren't in movies that much anymore, I feel like, without going to full parkour. No.

This was. Mission impossible, I guess. Yeah, but that's Tommy C. He's got to run. That dude loves to run. Loves it. Sorry, Chris, I jumped on you while you were talking about the train thing. No, it's one of those things where it was, this was not a series I was into.

And this one, like, I still think it's very dumb, but it's enjoyable dumb. And I've really like, the thing about this series is it's one of those things where I really did change my mind. I hated the first one the first time I saw it. Now I'm kind of indifferent. And like the second and third one I like now. And the fourth one's kind of stupid, but John Ortiz is in it. So, hey, I'm fine. Do John Ortiz as like this secret actual crime kingpin?

Well done casting move right there. You do not see John Ortiz coming because he's just a little old John Ortiz. And then it's like, oh, you're actually this like crazy criminal mastermind. Interesting. Not many public theater alum have played the mastermind villain in Fast and Furious movies. It's true. Totally. Yeah.

So they are, they're in Rio. Brian and Mia meet up with like I said fucking series Fave Vince from the first movie Now Gabers you saw this in the theaters Were people cheering to see Vince brought back This character No he didn't get the pop that you would think he would get

A lot of people are like He's got the arm scars from the first movie I recently rewatched the first one And he I had for even though five is my favorite movie Of them when I watched the first one I'm like, oh, right, that guy Vince, who comes back and fine. Like, he's so inconsequential, even in the first. And I'm like, oh, right, I know this motherfucker.

He comes back in the fifth one is the turncoat, turned friend, turned hero, turned turn turn coat or whatever. I thought it was a bit weird to even bother. Right. Oh, yeah. No, it does not matter. I mean, it's just hilarious, at least in the first movie, because I got all these on my mind because I bought the fucking 4K box set to just go through

him before the new one comes out. But that first movie, his entire existence is just to get cocked by Paul Walker the whole time. Yeah. Because he used to be with Mia and then like the whole movie is Paul Walker being like, man, your old girlfriend's pretty all right. Mind if I make out with her in front of you in this kitchen? Yeah, that's a whole weird dynamic that is kind of just go, like the whole, like, also the whole Mia thing. It's like when she later goes, I'm pregnant. It's like, are you sure you still are based on what we just did. Let's go to a fucking

doctor, Mia. You're not 21. You're fucking, you're an adult woman. You just leapt through a favela seal. Let's not confidently say I'm pregnant right now. Also, raw dogging it on the run is one of the worst ideas you can ever have. You know what I mean? If you're on the run for a time to invest in condoms, dude, wrap it up on the road. Absolutely. Are you kidding? Interpol catches you while you're buying fucking minis Trojan minis at the fucking CBS

you're toast I mean or I mean condoms We just call it minis Mac what are we from It's not a specific size that I need Or anything like that It's a little slant Minties very minnish

I need to taste good They flavored good I do Mentillated for her I love feeling this delicious minty fiberglass on my dick Do you like Hall's cough drops in your pussy? Well, I got just the thing for you.

He definitely want to feel like you just washed with Dr. Bronner's peppermint while you're fucking while you're banging. You want to feel that. Vagis vapor rub, yeah. You can tell Jordana Brewster when she's in that mode, when she gets to the GTO, and it's kind of like that moment

where you're about to go on a roller coaster because like the train is going she's on the separate track and like you're just waiting for the carny to give you the thumbs up kind of a thing she's like I guess I won't have to tell him about the kid because this is just not it's just not going to happen

it's one less thing to worry about I would really like to think that Paul Walker was thinking of getting the snip but then Dominic said he would kick him out of the gang and the family if he did that he's like yeah this is a very Catholic household, we don't get

the snip or nothing. If you're dating my sister, you've got to be shooting hard. Nothing but slam dunks, nothing but. We're all about family, and the only way to guarantee more family is do direct deposits with my sister.

Okay, man. Secondary Tourettoes. You have to be here for this? I just got to make sure everything works out, man. It's not weird or nothing. I'm not, I'm barely watching. Brian, man,

you're doing it all wrong. You have to check. Everyone's like medical records. Like no one has, no one can have a vasectomy on the crew. Yeah, absolutely not. Yeah, it's a fun,

am I dumb to think why the DEA would be in Brazil or should I just not even ask that question? I was very confused why the American DEA is on a train in Brazil. Well,

specifically guarding stolen sports cars on a train from where to US via train? Well that's what it's weird because they say like those cars were seized so like seized for some reason

so maybe these dudes are on pickup duty but I love the idea that like in this world of these movies the FBI, the DEA LAPD that we've seen before Miami PD they all have like the gearhead division and this is totally real

I don't know but like there are all these gearhead detectives and gearhead cops running around these movies where I'm like, is this just a fucking coincidence or did you specifically apply for this department? Because I don't know what's going on. Speaking of weird departments, isn't the rock, the rock is like from like

the secretary of treasury's office or something. Right? Like he's like, he's like, TSA. Like he's the elite level TSA or something. I forget. It's like, it's like, it's not, uh, it's not DDS because those are dentists, but it's something with two Ds in it. Department of security. Department of security. Department, I'm sorry, diplomatic security service agent Luke Hobbes. Oh, D.S.S.

So, so. Ah. Diplomatic is, that sounds completely invented and I'm here for it. Just an elite, an elite unit of absolute badass is where the, the head speaks exclusively in, like, Friday Night Lights football coach quotes. Yes, I'm an agent of dis. Oh, dude, dis. Oh, shit, dude. Well, it's one of those things where it's like, yeah, our agency's.

so secret the fucking president doesn't know about it I'm out here hunting these carjackers I love Paul Wong I love Brian being like DSS these are the guys the FBI sends to find you it's like the FBI sends FBI agents to find you but and the DSS shit is like we're locked and loaded ready to rock and the rocks spiel is so funny he's just like

everything he says in this movie makes me laugh because it's so self-serious and you want to be like I want just a shot of his crew every time he says something, just all going, okay, all right. Yeah, right on top of it. Oh, don't let them get in cars. Okay. A lot of a jerk off hand motions going on

in the background. Yes, Hobbs. Okay. You need more baby oil for your forearms? The one thing that he says to one of his guys, it's when McKinin Alameda becomes known as sort of like a person of interest, it's like, oh, you know, if he goes to the bathroom, I want to know how many

times you shakes it. I want like the movie to stop dead later and then we're like, hey, Mr. Hobbs, we're in so much trouble, but I finally got that information. I have a close up video of how many shakes. I think this answers all your questions. Go around the planet installing

toilet cams everywhere, just in case one them pops up. We need someone who's good with circuits. We need someone who can break the walls and we need Chuck Berry to put toilet cams in all around the United. Last night, he was a red wine guy. It was a three shake situation. But this morning, he had a huge Diet Coke before he worked out.

That was a five-shake situation. By the way, there's three pending lawsuits against us. I want the cutaways to, like, the center with David Strathairn and Mark Duplas looking at footage of the shaking of the face. Like, is that four or three? I can't. That he's not his hands on his dick there. Hold on. That's his hands on his pants there.

Enhance right there. Is that a vasectomy scar? No, that's it. Touretto would never allow that. It wouldn't happen. They self-scarred to throw us off the trail. Just doing little incisions down by your dick and balls, right? Yeah, just to get into gang.

Gabris, you're totally right about speaking in Friday night, like coach, euphemisms or whatever, using idioms like that. Because, like, that fucking shaking it thing, I had a football coach say something very similar where we were in the bathroom in the locker room. And he was like, if you shake it more than twice, you're pulling it. playing with it. And I was like, yep,

that was a classic coach thing. I'm like, all right, let's move it. If you're, I mean, it started off in the 90s as a way more

homophobic version of that. And then it became, you're playing with it after you were like, stop calling students gay. Like you're not supposed to do that in the 90s. All right.

Just letting you know that Miss Johnson says that I can't call you gay anymore, but you're all chronic masturbators unless you get out here. Found it. Thread the needle. found something I can say safely

that will still offend these children and upset them for life. Okay, I have a new one for you here. If you shake more than two, at least finish to completion. If you shake it more than twice, go full release. You know the rules. I'm fired again.

So actually, though, in this, in the fucking train scene, too, it's like, you realize the other that's different about this movie is we are indeed straight up murdering people left and right. We are just fucking taken lives like it's our job. Like there's one of these motherfuckers

like they're fighting on the train and everything trying to get these cars off. Vindiesel throws this dude like into the side of like a metal bridge. Yes. He does not survive that. And another movie, a worse movie, like you would show the guy get up after like

that's like you see that so frequently when a dude You see him like splash in the water So it's like he lived, he lived, he lived Now our hero didn't kill this person But there's a lot of like Friendly fire kills and stuff That like in this movie where it's like Vin didn't shoot though

Dom didn't shoot those guys But he did survive Because that other person shot though It's like the amount of mental Fucking gymnastics they do So that you don't think Dominic Torretto The hero of an action movie

Is killing people A known man slaughterer as well by the way. Let's not forget the socket wrench incident, which almost comes back again. Oh, it comes close. It comes close, doesn't it? Chekhov's wrench in full effect.

I like how that's too far. Like shooting, throwing a dude into a pylon of a speeding train totally fine. Beating someone to, I mean, it's different, but it's not that much different. No. If anything, it's more fair to beat someone in the face with a wrench because they have a better chance

of stopping you than going a hundred miles an hour out of a train. Yes. In the first movie, that's played to give Dom his like criminal background. And then by the last movie, it's like, it was actually an anti-abortion protester. Like, you know, like, they've like dressed up

who he killed in such a way. It's like, you know, he was actually defending a group of children from a pedophile and he beat that pedophile. And then that guy died on the drive home because he fell asleep at the wheel. You know, it's like, yes, okay, Torretto is fine. He's not, we don't care who he kills. It's a fucking

cartoon movie. I accidentally hit him in the head. I didn't know he had a blood condition that made he was going to mean he was going to bleed out. Like, oh, yeah, but look, I just punched him all right. I didn't put the glass table behind him.

That wasn't me. Okay, Lenny. You're still in big trouble. Okay. As soon as Curley finds out about this, you're fuck. Man, his fucking, the cross he's wearing in this movie? I guess maybe is that a signify for him to be a good guy because it looks like you could put Christ the Redeemer on it.

It's huge, man. It's kind of weird because, like, he's always been wearing him in these movies, but this is the first movie where you see him... I mean, like, you see him, like, really kind of talking about religion and shit, because, like, he's praying over Vince's corpse at that one part. He tells the story

about his dad, like, Gabor's your brother, like, oh, every Sunday we did a barbecue for the neighborhood. What a pain in the ass? That must have been. Just come over to my yard and eat my fucking food? Get out of here. We're going to pull a job. We're going to go to Walmart, get all the chicken meat they're throwing out in the dumpster,

bring it back, and cook a big barbecue for the neighborhood. We're going to go Joe Exotic shopping, as we like to call it. They're just throwing it away. I'm a dying tiger. I do love that if you don't go to church, you don't get any of this bad chicken, by the way.

That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, so he's like checking. people in mass I guess kind of everything like eyeballing who's left to the left of the right just to see who's getting the corona at the end of the day Oh yeah

Good because you're saying grace Oh yeah Whoa Okay that feels 80 yard in the moment Which is something that cannot happen But it's like what happened You feel like he's being puppeted for that one line He can't like seem

It seems so unnatural Holy shit live ain't they wind up like just in the water or something and I think yeah when did she doesn't tell them they're they're pregnant yet right that's before it's a while it's a while yeah the favela run when they have to they blast through that fucking tin roof and somehow are totally unscathed yeah they find the computer chip that has all of Wikina Eldamito's uh cash houses on it. And they're like, oh, that's what he was hiding from us. And then the rock bursts in. And it's a cool Jason Borny kind of fight, too, a little bit, right? We're definitely,

we've definitely seen those movies in this movie. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. They've seen Jason born movies and they're also big Kaiju fans. Because they fight, they fight Hobbs versus Torretto like it's Godzilla versus Mothra. They're like knocking, the buildings are just in a one room office or a car instead but they are going through everything swinging huge fucking shit at each other it rules and the rock can fucking sell a fight

and Vin Diesel can too and Diesel does a great job in all the movies but holy shit does this look fucking great I'll tell you where it gets a little it gets a little dicey though is like when they're in the one office like they burst

through the wall or whatever and they're fighting in this office and like the room has no light in it and the light is only coming from the rest of the warehouse, so it's all dim in the shot. So it's just two fucking jacked hulking bald guys fighting each other and you can't tell who

is who? Holy shit. Yeah, it's like the thing monster. There's just like arms and legs going in every direction. You're like no body hair whatsoever, but a lot of limbs. No, I mean the rock does really sell it. I appreciate that we are allowed to believe

that Hobbs wouldn't take him apart at the hinges. Yeah, exactly. I'm just like, okay, fine, sure. Okay. So they're so massive in this movie. Even for The Rock, he is enormous. Incredibly big. Yeah, in the IMDB trivia I read, it's like, the Rock when he got this role was like,

I think Hobbs is going to be like really muscular. It's like, the Rock. It's like, all he pitches for his character development all the time. He's like, what if this guy was really jacked and sexless? It's like, you got it, the Rock. It's like, what about if this guy was super jacked and absolutely sexless? It's like, all right. Sold, Jumanji.

whatever movie you want, Hobbs and Shaw. Well, what I'm going to do is I'm going to Dom, Dom. That's the idea now. Going to get so jacked that he's going to have to be puny in front of me. Isn't Hobbs trying to fuck Shaw's sister or something in that Hobbs and Shaw movies?

Yes, he is indeed. But almost sort of, of the, of course, you can never have sex in a movie. It's impossible. But in these movies, sister fucking, we've said it before. We'll say it again. That is like a primary touchstone. Big thing. Because you want to keep in the family,

remember. All times keep it so fucking. You want to keep it in the family without blowing your male friends. So you got to get your sister because it can't be gay. Absolutely not. Because it's fucking fast and the furious. Hey, Mr.

Diversity producer Diesel, put a fucking gay guy on this. Put a gay guy on the team. You're a gay woman, a gay person. Yes. That would be nice. I don't think that happens in nine.

That would be great if that was what, it was John Sina, but like, he was like, yeah, when I came out, the whole family shunned me and I'm going to I'm going to nuke them from orbit

as a super assassin. That would be fucking awesome. Yeah, my invites to the Sunday barbecues got canceled after I came out so I've partnered with Charlize Theron to fucking nuke you all. You said it

Chris that it's crazy that we're supposed to believe that Toretto can hang with Hobbs at all. Toretto, a guy who's been in and out of jail like Hobbs who's like trained and all this but a little behind the scenes potential

you know myth or rumors but apparently for the table read they showed up and the rock was so fucking jacked and Vin Diesel was like a little doughy that he like went on a cycle right after because Vin looks good in this movie he looks big he looks brawick

and it's because he fucking did hard and that's why he's got a little forehead issue in this movie too he's got like a little growing skull because he must have fucking juiced his head off to hang with the rock because I remember even at the time

a men's health article coming out where Vin Diesel's talking about his like he's like well Dominic Toretto is not a guy who's doing abs and cardio all the time you know he might lift the weight

to carry a few engines around or whatever but he's drinking coronas every night so it's like oh you have a blanket excuse to sort of just be like that's the reason I only do arms my character the weekly barbecue

you the pork ribs, man. That'll kill you. That gets home. But yeah, I think that's probably what was the beginning of the end of Vin Diesel and Dwayne Johnson's friendship. It's like, he probably looked at a picture

Dwayne Johnson's like, all right, I got it. You know what I mean? And then like he came up and he's literally the Hulk and it's like, okay, fuck this guy. He's literally dancing me off the screen kind of a thing. And didn't they have like, isn't this also the start of like there much talked

about like I can only, we have to be hit in the face equal amounts of times. We have to like lose fights. Like there's like status to how the choreography can go because neither one of them can like win too much or lose too much. That's the lamest thing I've ever heard. I hate that. It's so stupid.

Wasn't that in the contract? It's a movie. Yes, exactly. Whatever the script is the script. Yeah. But it was in the contract because like these guys are locked in for like eight movies. Like they're like, oh, you can't make me a bitch down the road. That would fucking, that all these guys like, how do you not understand? how acting works. It's okay

to like lose. I understand putting in your contract, you can't kill my character so that I could work in four more movies. Like that's fair. But like, lose. That's what's wrong with all these movies is that nobody loses. It's always a draw. Everything's a draw.

Like, it'd be funny if they just went into like a free wheel and fight between the two of them. If you just keep the cameras rolling, you've got they live beat. You can do the longest fucking battle that ever happened. what this franchise fucking needs crisis. We need a day live fight where it's just

two of these characters, Torado and whoever. Fucking, a total slobber knocker for like eight minutes and they're like, like actually tired on camera, like take, no one takes a break in these fights. I need these two guys to like lean against a dumpster and be like

just a minute, I just some sweat. Some sweat. Come on. The Kimbo slice like put your fucking head down for a moment and before you turn around and start swinging like a lunatic. But not only can anyone not lose, no one can remain a villain if they're popular. If someone pops off the screen, by the end of the movie, they've got to be with the gang.

And it's like, no, no, no. It's cool to have people on both sides that are compelling and interesting to look at, as opposed to everyone that's cool and you're sort of rooting for is on one side. Well, the villains are part of the movie and they're watching the, watching the heroes do everything. And they get so much respect for them, watching this. Yeah, they just are inspired. Yes, exactly.

The energy of the Toreto family has inspired me to join your side. I know I'm like an elite level British villain, but I'm on your team now, babe. Oh, because I've retcon that the person I was a villain to was actually that, you know, it's like every, yes, we know, Statham is okay. We can't just have people change. No, it's got to be uncancellable Jason Statham, former crime lord turned hero. Thank you, Shaw. And even in the same movie for The Rock at the end to be like,

I'm riding with you, Toreto. It was like, no, he just tried to bash your brains in 13 seconds ago. Like, you- Yep, no, but he saved him that one time. He saved him that one time from being killed in the street, dude. That's all it takes. And the most dynamic thing in the movie is the Rock v. Vin Diesel. And that should be the end of the movie where he like, Vin Diesel gets away and the Rock shakes his fist.

And that's the end of the movie. You know what I mean? Oh, for fucking sure. But this movie This movie kicks this pattern off too And it'll be the consecutive running pattern Like I wouldn't be surprised And no spoilers cabin

But I wouldn't be surprised if fucking John Cena's on the good team And 10 They bring a guy They bring someone in Build them up I mean Ramsey like every character And now they just they're just like It's like fucking

A role playing game It's like Final Fantasy 3 You just end up be like I have 61 main characters I guess I'll just use fucking setser and gow or whatever. It's like, at this point, at this point, you're like,

you're Justin Lin, you're like, okay, fast 10, we have 61 main characters, 11 of them can't be hurt on camera, five of them can't read, five of them can't do like, you know, it's like, dude, the needles, Lynn is a fucking, let's talk about him for a second. You fucking shot the shit out of this movie. It looks good. It looks good. And I'll say this too, you can follow all of the action. Aside from that hilarious, dimly lit off.

where you can't tell Vin Diesel from the Rock because it's two bald dudes. Everything else, you can fucking watch it. That favela chase, like, you give that to somebody else. The editing is way too fast. It's all over the place. If it was like Michael Bay,

Michael Bay did a fucking favela chase and bad boys too. And you can't follow it for shit. Yeah, the action in this one is, it's compelling. Like, even the train thing, that how stuff is just happening and happening. And you can follow it all with your eye. I actually don't like the action in the first four.

No. it's okay i guess but it's a little it's a little too much car yeah and then they got caught up in like the gear shift pedometer foot nice gnoss you know like they got caught up in the sort of requiem for a dream uh heroin trip editing of like yeah these are the six steps to a car you know they show the wheel spin show the engine laid up like this movie is just like zoom out we'll show you the fucking action we'll show you a car crash into a train and yeah and in the fourth one it's like so much of it's in like the tunnels and stuff and it's like okay this is just cg i or maybe a sound stage once or twice right but yeah i know the action is definitely stepped up here

and i think that's kind of the problem too is like then the movie decides to be a heist movie which is a good idea but then they want to do two movies literally at once like it's like we're gonna have all the beats of an action movie and then all the beats of a heist movie and that's why this movie is like so bloated because the whole team shows up and we have to set the team up we've got to do a ton of reconnaissance that ends up to pretty much... The reconnaissance means nothing. The shit with ludicrous and that

goddamn remote control car with the camera on it in that fucking bank means nothing because like the end of the movie they're like, wow, they just drive through the wall. Well, it's like if Ocean's 11 happened, the first hour and 40 minutes are exactly the same, but instead

Matt Damon's like, I got a better idea and he hits Andy Garcia with a brick and then he takes the money. Like that's at the end of heist movies they always change the plan but like to make it so blunt and totally disregarding like they they practice that turn

a thousand times and then they don't have to do it it's just to be crazy you know what you know what they practice zero times two cars dragging a safe that's what's crazy is they practice that drive the fucking fake course so much it's like I think I'm comfortable in us driving from Brazil all the way to Florida

with dragging the state it's like what? No, this can't fucking you didn't try this once before but they're very good at it. They can like use it as a weapon. It is insane the way Vin Diesel is whipping the wheel and this fucking

huge safe is taken out these cops left and oh excuse me corrupt cops left. Yeah, thank you. The safe is doing whatever he needs it to do. Like truly he has fully like incomplete articulat

Like he's a full action figure You could do anything you want with that safe He's like whipping it left, right They slam on the brakes And a corrupt cop Smashes into it You're like, how did that happen? How did that thing stop?

If you slammed the brakes, it would shoot past you guys And rip your rear bumpers off. They turned into a mace, which is really cool, but absolutely insane. I can't believe this movie didn't feature Vin Diesel

grabbing the chain By a minute at one point And whipping it into the sea like Hercules style or some shit. That was part of the Rock's contract is nobody could lift something up and whip it into the sea like that makes sense. That's me only.

That's my thing. I do feel like these cars and the hooks have to be like unobtainium and they should have a scene where like Vin is like yeah we found the unobtainium in the favelas and then there's a whole 30 minute scene of them digging under the

fucking thing to add to this fucking thing. Is that battlefield earth? I think what's No, it's Avatar. Avatar. Yes, that's right. There it is. I knew it was something

I didn't give a shit about. It's my absolute filmmaking hero, James Cameron, with unobtainium. Okay, let's figure out a way to have both those thoughts in my head at the same time eventually. Let's skate right by that like Vin Diesel Dragon a safe. The stealing of the safe is actually, I think, I don't think we mentioned it, but on the,

when we covered all the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, the last one of those pretty much just rips this off. Yes. Yes. Oh, yeah, you're right. He's dragging the safe through the city or whatever. I thought they did it first at first and then I looked it up and I was like, holy shit, this movie we're talking about is 10 years old, which is crazy.

That was the most interesting scene in that Pirates of the Caribbean movies. That makes sense. And by the way, they're doing a get the gang back together. This is, I think, one of the first time they do the full call of like all the movies.

and this is a year before the Avengers. It's incredible that it just lands. You can't copyright getting people into a room, Chris. I'm not saying, I knew that was what they were going to do. I think they, I actually think they took it from them. I think Fast and Furious took it from Marvel because they saw the writing on the wall. Toreto family, assemble.

On your right, Dom. Yeah, let's go ahead and beat them to the punch on that. There's no way I'll be ever. affiliated with the Marvel universe. Oh, wait, what? Five years later, whooos. We could, like, he could build a car around his body like a mech warrior, right? That could be

his Iron Man interpretation. That'll probably happen in 10 or 11, I think. That's where we're going. And he just, they'll drive transformers. Yes. Gabris, there is how you get Mark Wahlberg into these movies. Bring him back. They're like, they accidentally

steal Bumblebee. Oh, shit, bro. Dominic Toreto stole B. B, get back here. He got stolen by Dominic Toreto. I'm going to beat that gear head like a Vietnamese grocer.

Oh, no. Jesus. He's a veteran, bro. He fought doing World War II. You leave him alone. I mean, it is important to remember that Mark Wahlberg did a hate crime. You know, we skip past that

and not, just infinite. No, we definitely didn't skip past it, and I'm glad Juipin did everything but skip past it. Fuck. Yeah. Also, the Walburger's train is kind of a hate crime itself, right? It's not good. Yeah, no, eating there is when you hate yourself. I think that's what you do. You hate yourself while you're eating there and then it's a fucking crime scene in the bathroom afterwards. That's what that is. But just ask, just ask

Logan Airport after we fucking ate there on tour a couple years ago they so they decide okay I saw your guys I saw your guys show poster up at Logan Airport says do not arrest these men

arrest on site listen you can change your names but you can't change your face say Jack can't change my ass sadly been trying for a generation. A generation, a decade.

Well, we know there's toilet cams in every bathroom so that they could get you just on how you shake. They're trying to fear in every pot. Toilet cams in every bathroom. That's an interesting campaign you're running on, sir. But yes, they get the gang together, which is everybody in the world. We talked about Tyrese.

Han comes in. I like Han, but like the fact that... Han rules, dude. He's my favorite character in this franchise. Sure. but like the dancing and reality stone that they need to keep this guy involved in this franchise isn't really worth it. You could just like this movie then because this had like four and five are on a different timeline than the third movie and six or five and six and then like then that gets undone. It's like you could just write a new character.

It would be kind of cool. Honestly, I appreciate it because it keeps the third movie. It keeps Tokyo drift tied into the full series. That's true. movie that could easily be like excluded in some way because none of those characters are unless they bring back like fucking uh lucas black i don't even remember the white guys in that movie is the third the third manning brother lucas black that dude is a nationwide commercial man and bow wow yes oh and bow wow oh right oh fucking bow wow dude bow wow wow in tokyo drift nobody

remembers this, but his car is the dumbest thing you've ever seen in your life. It is an incredible Hulk-themed car. So, like, he's got this fucking, like, hood where there's, like, a huge green fist coming out of it. And, like, the Hulk is painted all over it. It is stupid as

fuck. Yeah. It really sucks. And isn't, is it just a clip, or I thought, doesn't Lucas Black pop up in, like, the seventh one for two seconds? Sure. That sounds right. I think he might drop in. He's at one. They, like, go to the drag race, and he's I feel like or something like that.

He fucking breezed through his mouth for three minutes and then that's the end of it. I skip three on the rewatch, but the Han characterization of this movie is pretty something, right? Like, oh, he's more laid back. So he eats chips in every scene. He's more laid back.

He just eats chips. And then we learn it's not because he's laid back. Exactly. That's to like to quell his oral fixation. Yeah, when I was hitting on Galgado, I ate chips, And it didn't work out. She wasn't like, oh, you're a smoker.

That's interesting. It's like, ew, your fingers look like cheese. Oh, belly crumbs turn me on. Oh, you like chips, don't you? You just really, really like chips. Do you want, should I call over? Would you like a waiter? He would like more cheese.

He's almost finishing these chips. Well, Steve, no offense. But Sung Kang. pretty handsome dude, I have to say. Yeah, I guess he could pull off the chip eating better than I can pull up a chip eating. And also like, you know, he's eating like little something, not

like a full-scale Doritos bag which, you know, you were eating loaded baked potato skins from TGI Fridays, dripping bacon and cheese all over gal's pants. That should be one of their missions, curbside to go. Yo, I got 45 minutes to get

to Applebee's. I got to pick up my riblets. We're going to need two drivers who aren't afraid to go fast, take tight turns and eat jack chicken strips. Yeah, we're going to have to drive with the windows down on this one, boys.

Oh, shit, I drew the Chee-Chi's Runs, Straw. Better roll down the windows. Southwestern Egg rolls, here we go. Oh, man. Ew. So their whole thing is like,

So they're going to, the thrust of this thing is like they want to take down this dude Reyes. He's like the big kingpin in Rio. What's kind of interesting, like because of the Reyes character, this movie sort of reminds me of like the structure of like an 80s action movie where it's like here's this guy. Supposed like, you know, high up in society, man of the community, but he's also like the sleazy, you know, leader of the vague drug trade. I guess it's supposed to be heroin. I think they mentioned like once that it's horse that we're trafficking. trafficking in here. But it's like that kind of shit.

Like that's straight out of like number one with a bullet or something. Yeah, the vague drug trade for sure. Also, kid, I own the police. Yes. Yeah, definitely, dude. Yeah, because the rock in, uh, enlists, uh, whatever her name is, Frito or, uh, Frito Lays chips. Yes, Frito Lays chips.

Uh, the one lady and he's like, you're the one good cop here. It's like, oh, Elena. We've set that up. Yeah. but she's in more of these movies but I really thought I think she gets with Vin Diesel but like I thought in their first scene

like the rock was going to be hitting on her and I was like oh he's not entirely sexless and this oh oh never mind no no never mind man he really he really is like it's strange his energy is just like he just doesn't have that juice for some reason

I don't know what it is I'm at work and my my penis is off the clock until I'm not at work but I'm always working in this movie now I'm just picturing a penis like do clocking out of work with the little slip and everything little punch card

little penis punch card now I'm picturing a penis is just like a pull quote I'm gonna cut like cut out of this and just you have it whenever whenever Eric DMs me I'll get that notification

look I haven't been getting any hours okay the rock guy I'm your penis you should be given me just a few more hours in this every day is chest and tries when will be my day just jerk me off once please the rock I'm a

bum a muscle too you forget about me dad well that that's like another thing I like I always like joke about the rock with he's always like it's three in the morning and I'm lifting weights before I fly to soul to open up blah blah blah and it's like where's your family the morning and like you're all over the world working almost every single day that you're awake like alive. It's insane dude. The shit like because I follow that dude on IG also and it's like he is always somewhere doing something and you're right. It's like the only time because there's only 24 hours in a day my followers. The only time I can get my four hour exercise regimen in is to start at three o'clock in the morning. So here I am. It's me and my fucking and Dave my social media manager.

Say hi, Dave. Are you fucking tired? Dave, who's chained to his fucking ankle at all. It's fucking crazy. And then he's like, well, I'm done working out for six hours. I have to fly to Mexico because I'm going on this fucking agave farm. Yeah, we're opening up a skyline themed restaurant there. It's going to be really tight. All right.

Then I'm off to Belgium where we're going to open up. I'm running out of the rock movies that hard. I mean, really A skyscraper. Yeah, yeah. Skyscribers are I meant, not skyline. Thank you. Damn it. Let's take that again, just like the intro.

It was difficult. You didn't know that there was a fifth person. It was you, dude. It was you. We're going down to my new chain of gyms on my opening. It's called Rampage. Do you know, anybody see, rampage? No.

You got too late. For the listeners, Cabin and I are raising hands. I love it. I apologize. He fist bumps a gorilla over like a woman's body at the end of the movie. The last actual beat of it is a gorilla noticing a woman's figure and then the rock

and him fist bump, not just a gorilla, a 50 foot gorilla. A very big gorilla. Not too different from us. Were you on an epic improv run or just kind of high? Yeah, yeah. It was week 28 of Harold night, you know?

Well, no, I told you once from 2011 on, I've seen a majority of movies in the theater, especially if they're big in any... I just love blockbusters. Like, I don't like like Marvel and Disney, I want non-IP blockbusters.

Like, that's all I meant. That fucking Angelina Jolie, HBO, those who want me dead or whatever. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was just like exactly the kind of movie I want. I mean, and mid-range, mid-budget comedies but that movie is just like it's a fucking action thriller it everyone in it is great Bernthal is in it for 20 minutes dominates like it's all huge celebrities you give a shit

it like it was just such a fun movie i'm like this is what blockbusters need to be again every once in a while it's it's very 90s it feels like a very like mid-tier old type like and the thing i like about this movie is they do the villain it's wakina omeda or Joaquin Diomeda, he's the guy who was the villain in clear and present danger. Yes, and he's also, get out of here. Yeah, Ray is played by him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and he's also the villain who plays Buccio and Desperado for anybody, Desperado heads. Oh, yeah.

Look at that. So, Cabin, so now you got me thinking, like, mid-90s action movie with, like, vague firefighting things going on. That's a fucking, what was that, Howie Long Firestorm. Firestorm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where he throws the axe I remember specifically him throwing the axe from the trailer

That's all I remember I think this is what's wrong with my brain Yeah like my mom like I can't remember My fucking stories about my dad Like I don't remember my childhood All my childhood stories are like I saw T2 in the theater You know it's like everything's about

fucking action movies My brain is so broken Well you're right at home here buddy I know that's why I feel so comfortable With you freaks I also saw T2 in the theater And I don't remember my father Rewatching Terminator

Just an aside A joke I can't stop Terminator 1 is a movie Where an entire plot point is that Let's hope this chick lets me Raw Dogger Wall That's a quick She fucks this dusty vagrant

From the future Like if it didn't go off his plan Like I guess he'd have to put in more work There'd be no term. He would never show up somehow. That had to be the smelliest fucking dong. I mean, because he's just disgusting future person. You know, and he was running around that whole time.

And it doesn't happen right after the teleportation. This is like, you know, a few days in his adventure. Performing under pressure, man. It's you will not exist unless you get this going, dude. I have to fuck in order for my boss to exist. Dominic Touretto standing over them. Make family. Okay.

He beams it onto them. He holds up his giant cross, like a fucking cast holy spell in D&D. Like one of the guys in the, uh, see you at the crossroads video. Like the posed up on the fucking in white is fucking Dominic Torrento saying.

Like chubs at the end of Happy Killmore. just tell you also having his arm around an alligator and they're waiting you must make john conner now fuck now fuck kyle reese you're doing it wrong kyle reese there's a lot of pressure you know you know the these movies add in all these beef cakes terminator franchise just add more beefcakes get like four or five terminators played by big dudes that'd be nice because i guess uh robert patrick broke the mold they're like, oh, anyone could be a Terminator. But yeah, it's kind of cool when they're huge hulking maniacs though, right? Like, you know what I mean?

There's something fun when people are, it's not sneaky and people are just scared of them because of who they, like, just like I like that Arnold and T1 is just instills fear in people. Like, you know, like McKenzie, whatever her name is, she's great as the Terminator, but it's like, it's all about like what they're capable of doing. Like, I'd rather it be like, on paper, this guy seems crazy. and then the cocky guy burns a cigar on his chest and learns otherwise. Cynthia Rothrock comes down from fucking the past and starts tearing shit up. From the past.

From 1986, I guess would be. That's the announcement. Coming in from the past. By the wrestling announcer. Look at Cynthia Rock in the Rafters. That's Cynthia Rothrock's music. My God. It's legend of the Scorpion Queen.

I feel like she had a movie something, something, Scorpion. Very close to it. It sounds like that. There was like, there was like, Tiger Claws. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. The Tiger Claw 1, 2, and 3. I think she's in all of those. One of my favorite moments in Fast 5, which is a movie. Oh, sure. Is when Vin Diesel, they get the gang together, they have their plan.

And they like, we want to make Reyes scared. So they, they, they rob his first cash house and Vinduzele's like, yeah, I actually just watch this pretty cool movie called The Dark Night. I'm going to light this. I'm going to light all this money on fire

actually. It's going to be pretty badass. They eventually need to steal cars to have them for the mission. They might have been able to buy them with this million dollars if they don't set it on fire. And I think it's still pisses Ray as on.

Yeah, the money is gone either way, but then you have it. Do they buy a safe or something to practice on? Where does this come from? A few pieces of information are dropped in this movie that I didn't catch previously. So here are three things I picked up on in this movie that I never picked up on previously. That the Rock's character arc is supposed to be, I'm all about doing my job and then realizes that people have personalities and wants and desires, whatever. And I never placed that because it didn't matter. but in this movie he's like, I don't care who they are.

They're names on a piece of paper. I'm going to fucking kill them or whatever. It's like, okay. Then we also learned that Tej had a history and he knows way too much about safes from before Fast 2, like before too fast, too furious. So when he was 14 or whatever, he was in like high level bank robbery, which is good because they need to set that up to go forward. But then later on when Han is like, and where'd you get this safe?

like some of us and he says we had lives before you too and like points to roman and it's like so roman has known roman has known brian since juvie uh and han and roman have previously been involved in some other high level crime shit and then never mention each other until they and then in this movie after they do all the summoning everyone is so casually just meeting in that space People who haven't seen each other forever. People are curious what they're brought together for. And then when Brian and them walk out, the reaction is entirely too casual.

Like, I cried in pandemic when I hug the hostess of a restaurant. I like in my neighborhood. Post-pandemic. This is a group of people who are coming together as a family and they haven't seen each other forever. And it's like, oh, look, hey, how's it going? Hi, this is so-and-so-ay. It's like, guys, this is huge.

This is enormous. No, and that's because no one is scared, angry or sad ever in a past movie because no one has emotions. You don't oversell anything. Cool as a cucumber the whole time. They walk out in that warehouse and meet each other with the staged nonchalance of that fucking friends reunion.

Where they come into the set and say, how's it going? I know I saw you 10 minutes ago, but now how's it going? You're totally right. Like a hug of some kind. It's all like, oh, it's either like totally nothing or, oh, this fucking piece of shit. Because it's dudes, because we're dudes.

We don't say, like, I love you and I miss you. The family, but not like, you know, like. Lovey. The most we could do is get an erection for Galgado, but hey, look at that. You know what I mean? As opposed to be, as opposed to. Funny you call her Galgado.

She's not named in this movie. They never say her name in this movie. Not once. The character's name is Giselle. Would you learn in the last movie that she's also in? You just remember that. for she's working for what's his face a lady's name yeah that could be

on the cutting room floor look the movie's already two hours and 12 minutes we can't be naming ladies all right I don't want to trim the dad conversation look look I'm just used to saying letty let's just call her letty too she's also letty

hello letty gal I'm so glad that you're playing lady too I can't tell you how happy I am I'm sorry I'm Yeah, and I mean like They're, you know, they're going around I think my favorite scene in this movie One of my favorite scenes is the

When Galgado's ass Becomes a McGuffin When she has to go They're trying The Burkina Ldemade is Handprint is the only thing They could open up the safe Except when we rip the safe out of the wall

At the end of the movie no matter what So she has to, they have to go to a club She's like I know how I'm going to get his handprint And I'm going I know that this guy is going to grab my ass no matter what that's that has to happen we're in Brazil it's my ass he's a criminal like it's I think we're lined up where we need to be lined up I mean it's a pretty safe bet Steve we're not we're not talking like it was a million to one shot here I don't know safe gamble but

but the fact that it's not used it's like we've flew this woman to South America to be groped for no reason she got 11 mil to get groped that's that's true too like I'd be like so we're ripping the safe out of the wall so why did that crack grab my ass part of the beginning? I will say, I will be, I will say,

I mean, oh, they got to open it in that. You're right. Yeah, they do open it. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. So it thankfully comes into play. I mean, you know, well, they go in and Roman still has her bathing suit on his own

bathing suit on his head. Roman, take that off. That's, we need that to open the safe, you crazy bastard. Um, the comic relief.

Well, you know, the best hacker in the world is there. They could probably weird science, another one of these. ladies. Tej could do that shit. Yeah, absolutely.

Well, yeah, because Tej unlike, like like Tej was ludicrous grew up in the Atlanta rap scene. Tej grew up in the Atlanta safecracking scene. You know, it's similar. It's very similar pads. He's got safes in different area,

coach. By the way, my favorite part of this movie is when they staged this gigantic shit explosion in the bathroom. Yes. Yeah. In order to attack it to the security games. this is a real this is a real oceans movie moment I feel like yeah they're trying they have to figure out like something something we need to get into the security camera feed so the way we can do this is to plant like a little tap on a wire but the wire is it's right above this bathroom or whatever and they stage this thing where this fucking cop is taking a shit in this bathroom and they put they plant some explosive in the piping and it just blows this these toilets, I mean, kind of a

great visual. I mean, it's disgusting, but a great visual nonetheless. And this dude gets rocked off the toilet, man. You got to go home for the day if that happens to you. Like, what happened to gym? That the bathroom exploded and the gym was missing. Uh, yeah, I had to go home. I had shit

all over my body. Yeah, I wasn't hurt at all. This guy would have a prolapsed rectum out of his mouth. And in a feet never seen before. The mouth, the pink sock tongue. Jim,

stop sticking your tongue out at me. I love my tongue. Send me home. Push it in, please. Use something clean. I'm already dead.

Please don't kill me. Shoot me. Like the thing. It's just like blow him with a fucking blowtor. It's like a fucking flame thrower. Get in here. He's got a pink sock

coming out of his mouth. McCready. It's a bathroom. Bathroom problem. I think. I think a. Flamethrower is perfect for the bathroom. Yeah. Oh, yes. What you need.

Somebody need to light a match. It'll be awesome. I do like how much shit is on the walls when they break in. They're like, when they get in there. It's like, woo. I'm like, this is cartoonish. It's just like the movie seven. And I guess it's like, we should mention that

the safe is in the police station now. That's why we're talking about. I don't know if we mentioned. People, you picked up on it. You watched the movie. This was the biggest movie ever made. Because their whole, their whole plan is like, all right, if we like, I guess burn his one pile of money, they're going to go to all the other drop sites, pick up

all the money, and consolidate it to one place. And it's like, uh-oh, because apparently everybody in the police department in Rio is corrupt. It's like, yeah, right this way, sir, Mr. Reyes, put all your millions and millions of dollars in our fucking police station. Yeah, if you, like,

American cops bitch so much on like TikTok, it's, I mean, this is small and anecdotal, but they bitch so much about like, they're disrespected or whatever and it's like if you're a Brazilian cop watching this movie you're like what the fuck man it's like oh yeah 85% of us are this crooked

that we're like come on well that's every movie any you go out of America every cop is totally crooked oh yeah which like do the math either way like either you know what I mean like either um you're totally we're totally off base and racist which you probably

are or it's possible that all cops are crooked, no matter where. It might not be the Brazilian part of the Brazilian cops. It might be the cop part of Brazilian cops. That's the crooked part. The two dudes that pull

this explosive gag are two leftovers from the last movie. And it's like, this is a prime example of like your cast is too fucking big. Just get someone else to do this. They will eventually, they'll eventually lose these. Like just get these guys arrested so that they're not

in the movies anymore but not kill them but I they're like are they like famous DJs or something I guarantee they're like musicians or they are they are musicians because they did a song in the last movie I think was the thing right you're right in ampersand

right is that what they call in that one four I'm gonna call an ampersand from now on I think it's the only one with the ampers to as that now I got to give it up to Griffey Nooms for that because he's called it that And I've learned, if I, I, I trust him all things, movies, and specifically Fast.

His movies. Ben Diesel stuff in general. Yeah, I trust him on all things Diesel. Yeah, Don Omar and Tago Calderon are the, the two guys. Leo and Santos in the movie, like, nobody would tune into Fast Five and be like, well, fuck, man. Leo and Santos weren't there? Come on. Leo and Santos.

You know, if you bring back Vince from the first one, you kind of, you're, obligated, I think. Well, because that's, I guarantee there's something like, all right, we're bringing back one white guy. Well, it's, we should bring back like our fuck. And he knows what he's doing. Like, when he made the new triple X, everybody in that movie is like a famous soccer player, a famous DJ, a famous blank, a famous, like, and it's like, he knows what he's doing.

It's international appeal. He's like, get me some, you know, South American recording. You know, get me some of it's get me a gal, an Israeli supermodel. get me, you know, like, get me a black American supermodel. Get me like five, six supermodels. More supermodels. Paul Walker is so fucking good looking. He's insanely good looking.

He's like distractingly. And you're like, oh, if you're looking at Fast and Furious as the point break ripoff that it is, it's like, yeah, they went with the exact Keanu angle. but Keanu just has a little bit more magic in his wood than this puppet does. I think Paul Walker does a great job for what he's supposed to do in these movies. Him and Vin both are sort of just like, they're blank slates that you just project whatever you want on to them.

It's like you fill out the emotion of this character because all you know about me is that I love her. I wish there was, I mean, point break was enormous, but what if it went the fast. route and there was 10 point break movies like what a world that would be that would be pretty special I think because it would be

Swayzy's in the 10th one yeah dude he comes back yeah you're totally right it's revealed he fucking he survived the huge wave at the end all that shit but the thing that'd be rad is like well actually I don't know so like point breaks like what like 91

or something like that if you're doing all these movies and you're keeping Keanu as the thread through all of it right like that means maybe he's not in The Matrix like if those movies kept being huge like I don't want to envision that timeline. He's in the James LaGroes Cinematic Universe at this point

because James LaGroes comes into all those I bet. Absolutely. You're saying something here Jubin that I've heard people touch on but you really hit it. We don't get the Matrix movies. We don't get speed if he stays with big time. And you're like oh shit what are we missing out on from

our DJ's peak years? from Chris Hemsworth's peak years from all these actors who have like I have 16 years of contractual obligations to the children's movie franchise and it's like Robert Donnie I watched kiss kiss bang bang not too long going I was like this motherfucker is just so wasted

on Iron Man and he's great he's so good as Iron Man I agree but let the motherfucker pop up in something else every once in a while well they tried that once and it was called the judge and my sweet mother of Jesus Well, wait, show of hands. Who saw the judge?

Trust me and Gavin Hans again. What are we doing? We should just hang out the two of us, it sounds like. If it matters, I'll watch that movie, which is essentially just about watching Robert Duvall shit himself. It's so upsetting. Fucking zoom ins on fucking Robert Duval's wrinkly asshole with brown water coming out of it. Is that actually in there?

Is that actually in there? Oh, that's for real. Duval's floppy little ass poop out stuff. Look, I'm not telling you you see the whole thing, but you're seeing the bottom of it and you're definitely seeing shitty water coming down from it. Note to self, rent the judge.

Please confirm this. It's the most fucking saccharin movie ever. It's like everyone learns a life lesson and it's so, people are clearly not in the room on the same day. It's like so poorly made. Is there poop juice though? There is

visible poop juice. Thank you. just made the watch list RDJVBJ VBJ that's what we're really good Very good But whatever yes They wind up There's a very silly

Robot scene that's We don't have to talk We're just building up The idea of doing this heist And then they think that The Rock is somewhere Is on the other part of town Because they tracked him or whatever

But oops he surprises them And it fucks up their whole plan Yeah Well, yeah, he crashes. This is the scene where we get the, this is the Rock Vin Diesel fight. Yes. Yeah, this is where we get the Kaiju fucking, you know, full on summer slam in the fucking concrete, blank, dusty-ass building. But the rock is in the wrong here.

He comes in and he purposefully hits Vin Diesel's like classic muscle car. You know what I mean? It's like unnecessary. Like, out of respect to like the. one-of-a-kind car. You don't have to do that. Vin's right. You made a big mistake. The scene right before this. He just walks up super slow and throws the first punch, which I also like. The scene right before this, I want to touch on because it's clearly one of the, like, you could have just deleted this scene entirely. And it's also incredibly reckless and stupid. It's when they're still pointlessly trying to do the track thing where it's like, can we get around this?

Like, you know, wherever we got to drive and not get picked up by the security cameras. And Han is like, dude, it's just impossible. Like, we cannot find cars that are fast enough. We'd need an invisible car. And then Vin Diesel's like, well, now that you mention it, I know just the place. And they just like so nonchalantly hop the fence

into a police impound or like a police car lot steal four fucking squad cars and then decide to drag race with them while Tyrese is on the fucking radio. Like, hey everybody. could you move out of the street? We're about to do some illegal drag racing. And he's talking about the fucking scam

on the radio? Like, oh, these cop cars that we stole are going to be really helpful in the fucking heist that we're playing. Oh, my God, the radio's on. Everyone in the fucking sidewalk can hear me. What are you thinking, Tyrese? What are you doing? And dispatch can hear you too. This is the weirdest

reggae tone song I've ever heard. Jesus Christ. They do it in all these movies where it's like, we have to lay low the best trackers in the world are upon us. It's like, okay, but we do have to go to a street race for some reason. It's like, well, they're definitely

not going to be looking for us there, people who are legendarily into street racing. It's like, when they go to win the fucking Blue Porsche thing, you're like, why is someone on Hobbs' team not watching every street race in the fucking Rio? It's so dumb. It's awesome.

And so every mission, it's like the most elite level deep state actors are after us and it's like well we got to go do NASCAR Daytona 500 or whatever it's like really well that's why I want there's to be 10 point breaks because it's just

it's not that but it's surfing every time like every it's surfing around the world and they're just like I don't know where I don't know where these guys are man's like maybe we should try the big surfing content. Boi and Johnny are absolute pros at this they're ready to fucking go gangster

at the drop of a hat and whatever you do don't let them get their boards. Exactly. You see a safe on two surfboards go by in the distance. Whipping it around, blasting Coast Guard helicopters out of the sky and shit.

Kripped manatee. Yes. Corrupt manatees. Corrupt whales. They use magnets to surf in the new movie. You know? They're surfing on metal, I guess, with magnets. You see a bunch of manate.

That whale that I killed with the fucking safe I was dragging? Oh, he was evil. He sold poison milk to school children. Yeah, we got a shot of the manatee is all going body cams off, boys. Yeah, let's go in there and go fucking nuts. That way we know they're corrupt when the safe donks them in that. Listen, listen, you can't pretend to be a mermaid.

That's entrapment. Corrupt ski doers. Corrupt fucking speedboaters. I'm liking this cinematic universe. I wish this franchise did exist now. to it now. I would sacrifice the first Matrix movie to see Keanu Reeves drag a safe into a

fucking manatee's face. Absolutely. I like that it's surfing in every movie. In my head, Keanu Reeves gets into more and more age appropriate undercover missions, is what I was thinking. Like eventually he's like, all right, yeah, like, he's like a 48 year old man. He's like,

okay, we need specifically Johnny Utah someone who's still limping maybe even more now. We're like, we to infiltrate this fantasy football league. Yes, yes. But he shows up in a wetsuit. Bring in Johnny Utah. We got to have someone infiltrate this golf club and very carefully drive the golf

card on the chorus. I like it. And I think he's having an age appropriate affair every single time with a Lori Petty type. Or Lori Petty too. She's always around. She's always got a new job. She's like, I'm into scuba now too. Holy shit.

That way they can reuse the wetsuit fit. Now I'm wearing this wetsuit at the pro shop. Yeah, all right. Yeah, so they wind up eventually getting, you know, all like cuffed and whatnot after that fight because this is where Vint Diesel is about to lay the death blow and then Toreto thinks better of it. I would love it if he hit him and he finds out he's a robot.

Like that's what he hits him and then like sparks come out. Yes, exactly. And then it's like, oh, shit, he's a fucking, he's a transformer the whole time. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, crossover. Yeah. Not, I don't want to jump back to the beginning again. But this reminded me when he's, when those bad guys in the train swing like a lead pipe or a wrench at Vindiza, when he blocks it with his arm, it makes a claim. The Foley guy is going off.

You got to hear it. When you rewatch it, if you have six hours left on your rental or whatever, like I do. Just watch it because he. he literally blocks it. It's like, ting! And it doesn't phase him. He's getting hit with a fucking wrench in the arm. And he's just like, like you're not supposed to block those attacks. That's how you just shatter your

ulma. Yeah, he was weapon. Why? The reason I took so long to get to Rio was I stopped off to get an adamantium skeleton installed. Makes sense too. All right, if we're jumping around, there's one thing I really need to talk about. Just because there's a great moment,

when Han is going to go do research on Reyes, you know, Galgado wants to go with him. And Vin Diesel gets the dumbest fucking Sebastian the crab kiss the girl face and looks at the camera like,

I smell wedding bells. I'm like, this movie is too long. This movie's already too long. Yeah. I love that face he makes. It's really good. It is really funny. And it's like, what does he think is going on?

Like, it's just like, I hope they're fucking. family. Oh, hey, Han, as we said, no condoms. Remember, she better get pregnant. You're my Asian-Israeli niece. I'll protect you. Now, now I got you. You know, I got, I know a good guy at the clinic. He's going to, he'll test your come. Make sure you're shooting good. Make sure you're doing good. Now, now let me tell you, now let me ask you something. If I gave you some money, would you name, would you, you know, give up your last name, call it Touretto? You know, your son. on your daughter, whatever. I don't care.

I just, you know, could we call it Touretto? Maybe that's the end game, right? They should be all Touretto, even if they just change their name so that it's the, that keeps them off the grid somehow or something. Yeah, it's like hiding a needle in a needle stack instead of a haystack. A new version of the Grissom gang, the Torretto family. I like it. The Touretto crime family, right? I guess it's going to need guys who are good with circuits.

We're going to need guys. Circuits means there's walls. we're going to need guys who can break through those walls. And, of course, we're going to need a cum guy to check the Kama Khan to make sure his motility in his count is super high. Should I be writing all this down, though? Absolutely. Absolutely.

You should be writing it down. Before we roll out everyone come in a circle, we're going to test it. Look, Tej, Tage, I want to hear your account. Dr. Barkis, it's up to you, my friend. The cricket cum guy. Yes. The CCG. Absolutely.

This is a fun moment after. when they're in after they're captured it's thrilling because you don't get a lot of gun action in the fast movies they don't do a lot of like tactical gun battles and luckily we get to see DSS

get murked but we get to see them at least fire some guns and we get to see some of that I'm a sucker lifelong fan of all the worst things in the world you know like special forces I love guns I love soldiers I don't want to do any of it

I just want to watch it in movies only. But I understand now in hindsight, it's like all fascist propaganda. It worked on me. Okay. But as a lefty, I just also want to say it was dope to see some fucking random people getting sprayed down with the salt.

He breaks some guy's neck in this movie at some point. Oh, we didn't. Oh, that's another scene I forgot about. And then a favela foot chase, he runs into like six guys and merks them all handy. Yeah.

that's also a great. He's Jason Borhees in that scene. Yeah. It is great too because like Vin is jumping off the roof and he just goes through a plate glass window on a lower floor to catch up with him. It's a good moment. Yeah, that that shit.

Holding in a wide of Vin Diesel sprinting with like an 11 pound kettlebell necklace on it's just absolutely. And it's like they like let a roll for way longer than anyone besides Tom Cruise runs in a movie. You know what I mean? Without like a change of frame. It's wild. And then just see.

And then like, I'm watching it again this morning just while I'm getting ready. And I'm like, she's pregnant. I would be like, hey, Brian, I really don't think I should be jumping off. Brian, what if we just take the L here and this baby is born in prison as opposed to be miscarried right now? I would, I'm, those are our options. You tell me what you want to do, Brian. Yeah, there's no C there. I do love...

Seconds before he breaks that dude's neck, by the way. Also, just to go along with the Jason Voorheizing that he's doing, he jams a knife up into a dude's mouth like from his fucking chin. Oh, that's true. It's a blink and you miss it, like, pwam, just like gets him, dude drops. It's insane. When his team gets murked, that's also, it was weird, because I think they must have been watching those fucking Jack Ryan movies

because this exact scene happens in Clear and Present Danger, too. Like, there's three cars that get stuck. right in the middle lane and they just get bombed shit. And like, I was like this, if you're going for 90s action, man, that's a good place to be going. Yeah. I love this sequence. And

cut us free. Like anything like that. It's just like that shit gets me. Trust me. We're good guys. We give us shotguns. And Vin always has a pump action shotgun. Vin is always using shotguns. Toreto is always using shotgun. If I was a lane out, I'd be like,

oh, cut you free. What? You want a fucking street race right now? That's useless. This is real shit. We got to get NOS. It's funny. This movie doesn't even use NOS until like the very end when they use it as an explosive device or something. No. Yeah.

He used it to like push the safe on his own because he's only one car as opposed to two. See, I watched four and five today. I think that was a mistake. Four is where he he lets the Naz start like leaking into the car. That's what I'm thinking of. And then he pushes the cigarette lighter in. and it blows up all the cars. Yeah.

I was getting... I mean, the sequence when the team gets destroyed is good, but I was also getting McGruber vibes from like... Yeah.

The hilarity... No, no, no. Tog? Tog? How quickly they all die and the one guy gets not one but two grenades? The two grenades in the sequence

is a laugh line because it's the one grade and he looks at the rock like, I'm not gonna make it. it. And then another one, it's like, Mother. It's like, no, that's comedy. You know it's funny. I,

it's an L.O.L. It's an actual L.O.L. from your boy, Gabor, like, when the second grenade lands, it's like, no, he's definitely dead. Don't worry about it. Because what's hysterical, too, is like, you're not seeing who's throwing it. So it's just this dude like in a car wreck and he can't get out of

the window. And then it's like, boop. Boop. Yeah, a PA dropping foam grenades from just above the frame. Because the first grenade, he's like, all right, maybe I'm in fast six, you know what I mean? I was a popular character. I had some good lines. I had a good report with The Rock.

Vin likes me. Oh, a second. Okay. All right. All right. No, that's fine. Got a choice. I'm gone.

I'm not getting resurrected. Yeah, it's like Nodberg level death. Exactly. It's wild, though, that they are taken out so easily because, like, we are told in this movie that they are like the best of the best, who the FBI goes to when they can't do shit. And they just get murdered by these drug deals. come on absolutely ambushed immediately

and then luckily like truly minutes after almost losing a fist fight that you insisted on having and now you're all you almost you lost all your guy he's like oh man Hobbs has had a brutal 15 minutes here

I do think it had to be in fucking in Diesel's contract that it's like at one point he will allow the rock to live he will have a moment where he will reach his hands out like Jesus to him and allow him to live you're only alive because of me

yes yep it's like Stephen Seagall like all this contract shit you're making me think of it's like Steven Seagal has never been killed in a movie either in machete he kills himself he's the bad guy in machete he's no one else has ever killed him in a movie he's except for when he fakes

his own death and hard to kill Mason Storm. But in this, he, in a fucking machete, he commits Sapuku after losing a fight to machete. And it's like, oh my God, it's so brilliant. It's like, The Rock is like, the Rock is like, I guess my character can live if Vin Diesel gives me mouth to mouth fire.

Fine. I need to do CPR family. If I was, if I was the Rock, I wouldn't join up with, I would still be pissed because you, this guy nearly beats you to death. Yes, he saves your life, but he is absolutely a thousand percent the reason all of your friends

are dead. Like, you know what I mean? I'm not exactly like, congratulations, dude. Like, no, I'm still taking you to jail and I'm not giving you a 24 hour head start. Fuck you. Yeah. All my friends are dead. Hey, we lost Vince. Who's Vince? Yeah, yeah, fair. It was probably bigger for you who lost every single person. Yeah, I have like four wives to call right now and it's going to be a really shitty day. I am, now I'm the godfather

No, I guess no, his wife is dead So now I'm his father Now I have children Thanks for nothing I hope you're happy I'm a new father I did not want to end up here And now I'm a fucking dad

Yeah, family You can call them pebbles It's working Let me ask you something Can I name them Torretto I mean they don't have a family anymore right? We blew past it Vince names his kid after Dom

Like another Keeping the And that's so egotistical. It's amazing. It's fun because do you know that when Paul Walker passed, Vin Diesel named his daughter Paula, which is so cool, especially because he like,

that you know in this movie that's important to Vin Diesel that Vince names his kid after Toretto because that's something Vin thinks is important. And that makes it so much kind of richer. And it is about family at that point. You're like, holy shit, he's not wrong. It is still truly weird to me how, like, the death of Paul Walker brought out, like, the fact that they are indeed this, like, filmmaking family minus Gwen Johnson, because that dude can get to step in according to Vin Diesel, but, like, that they, what you do, I mean, because, you know, you're just, you're fucking actors and it's a job and whatever. But it's like, when that happened, it was like, oh, no, like, this is clearly, you know, we've done a bunch of these together now. Yeah, when you're shooting for 40 weeks every other year.

it's like you're like these guys these are long schedules where you're flying all over you're in you know you're in every fucking random country it must it must be amazing it's like lord of the rings you know when they get tattoos and shit together it's like it makes total total fucking sense but also the reason the rock doesn't need these movies vindiesel needs you to need these movies that's also why gal gal gaddow murked you know like you got to go you know like you're getting big time to die it's like i can't have anyone come around to be bigger than me in this movie. Yeah, I wonder if...

It's stunning watching her in this movie and coming off of like Wonder Woman 1984. Somehow, over the last 10 years, she's become a worse actor. I don't know what the hell's going on there. It's weird. I mean, fine enough in these movies, but like, you get to that Wonder Woman 1984. That is just trash. It's really bad. I don't get it.

The thing with this is they give her less to say here. Yeah. That's the magic. That's the magic of the, of this movie. They're like, just give her like seven lines tops and then just like, yes, yay. Movie magic right there. Yeah, not to go full creepy hetero, but she's a beautiful fucking model woman. Sure.

So in this movie, she doesn't get a lot of lines, but she also moves well. Like, not in a sexy way when she needs to get her ass slapped for seduction purposes, but she also moves well in like fighting way. So it's like she's so that's why I think Wonder Woman. was like a tolerable movie because it's a lot of her fighting and then Wonder Woman 1984 it's a lot of her talking and you're like

hey I don't think you're supposed to do this in any movie you totally you totally fucking cracked because she's got monologue after monologue in that 1984 you got someone needs to write for her like they wrote for Arnold I'm not even joking like

they're like make your make her sort of lack of like make her lack of control of the English language or whatever like her second language make that part of the character make that her like scary beauty toughness make that part of the character and just write that in

she could have she would have a great fucking career if she was atomic brunette or whatever that would like that movie would hit that like she could do something like someone needs to give her a John Wick like yeah like just straight up she could do like yeah exactly right if she was playing like some sort of like quiet assassin

I could totally see that yeah she would pull out like if put Quentin Tarantino puts her in a movie is just like a woman who walks out with a baseball bat at one point. You know what I mean? Like that's like she fucking would murk that and we and she would blow our own career up. But Wonder Woman 1984, it's like, all right, you're going to do time travel. You're going to do this. You're going to do this. It's like.

Wishing stones. Yeah. And you're going to have to explain a lot of it. You're going to have to explain everything. Yeah. She's not supported at all by the script or directing either in that movie. Definitely not. No one's doing any favors for a gal and that. So, yeah. So, uh, Vince. eat shit in that firefight. His body is just laid out

back in the workshop. I'm sure that's smelling great by the end of this movie. I will bury you amongst my car. Vince, don't even say it. I know what you want, right? You ought to be buried in a junkyard like all of us. No, my dad has a plot back. No, no.

Junkyard. All family goes to the junkyard. I put my grandfather there a month ago. The Toreto family, the Torretto family plot. It's in a junkyard. Yeah, we We put all our cars and our

family there. We put our cars in car crushes. And then we put our names in little sticks. Yeah. I think the junkyard dogs nip at the bodies that are sticking out. Remember at

Grandpa Toreto's funeral where he got put in the car crusher and he squirted it everywhere like the gusher? That was fucked up, man. That was the worst barbecue. yet. And we laugh. And to answer your question, squirt is not pee. I got my

crooked cum guy. He's going to check it out. Hey, I'm back. Hey, Vin, you don't need me for the whole heist thing? No, I don't know where I can put you in there, bud. Everybody needs a physical. Everybody. Listen, is there any way you can check

Reyes' come? I would just like to know who I'm going up against. If they're very fertile, it might be different. Well, there's no way you can help me with this, but do we know how many times he shakes it after he's by any chance? Holy shit. Does Hobbs have some news for you, brother? So they decide they're going to fucking do this heist anyway.

Well, Dom decides. Dom is the decision maker here. Because everybody else is like, like, Han is like, what the fuck are you talking about, dude? Like, it's over with now. Like, we just got jacked by all. all these guys, all these fucking agents are dead, like, we're out of here. And he's like,

he pulls the, all right, well, as you all know, it's Dom Torretto's policy. You're free to leave it any time, but I'm still doing the mission. Like, he totally guilts him in the staying. Pay what you want, but it's 1350 worth of ingredients.

It's like, oh, okay. We get it, Dom. You clearly have a fucking something you want to happen here. Han in the police moment earlier says like we're probably not going to live through if this mission goes wrong we're going to be dead anyway that's the only moment that anyone even specifically someone who will die in two movies but he's the only person acknowledges any possible

consequences from all this no one has discussed his con no way rob a police station what are you crazy yeah we're in he dies in two movies but he also died two movies ago John at the same time somehow. Yes, exactly. John, the revelator of this whole crew. It would be interesting. Like, the funniest thing is like,

why don't you really hit him where it hurts? You should be like, Dom, if you don't fucking find a different way to do this, I'm out, I'm going to, I'm going to leave. But if you figure it out, I'll give you, I'll let you name my kids Torretto. I'll let you do it. Like, you have to use the bargaining chip he cares about.

That's the thing. Yeah, that's a family, man. More children for his brood. Dumb. If you don't fucking quit this mission, I'm exclusively drinking Pacifico, motherfucker, and then you'll see. Then you'll see Torreto.

Fast and Furious 11 should be a bunch of, it should be, it should be dumb, Dom Torreto, and then a bunch of kids in like power wheels and shit. Yeah. And they're all named Dominic Torretto. It's like 20 different kids,

all different movies. And then someone's like, Dominic Torretto. Yeah, which one? all the little babies turn around with sunglasses on. Wait, now, not to just keep piling on here, but Eric, you're on to something. What about Dominic Torretto 2050?

And it's like in an old person's home and they're all in jazzy scooters and it's treated the exact same way as like street racing. It's all like clink, clunk. Like, and it's just like, they're stealing, stealing extra Vicodans or whatever. I don't know if you want any of this action, but we're hitting Walgreens tonight.

super super uh the same soundtrack like a big rap song like do it do it do it while the little scooters going through it ay ay ay why not just that song how many times did you hear that three noise refrain he always picks like a nice like sort of you know uh latin beat kind of thing that he loves and like that song always is like and it hits so much in this movie. I love these movies. They're sexless with like, they're like MTV.

They're less sexy than MTV, but they're trying to do shit every once in a while to be like, it's a movie for everybody. So we're going to show a little bottom half of a butt cheek underneath a full size bathing suit of an adult one.

Oh, okay. Oh, come on. It's Brazil. Come by. We got to show a little last. I think we could see some fucking cheeks in Brazil, but nobody ever fucked in Rio. Come on.

I got to say, we knew, A is filmed in Puerto Rico. You know you're in Brazil, not because, the only reason you know you're in Brazil is because you see that Jesus statue, more times these Chris Ludacris bridges.

They keep cutting to it for reaction shots. I'm like, it's a statue. That statue of Jesus is in Fast 6. They, like, he joins the crew. It's like, we're going to need a circuit guy,

a wall guy, and if we can find a 60-foot concrete guy, that would be helpful. And then the, like, Hobbs and the government come down with the Statue Liberty, Ghostbusters 2 style. Oh shit. And then it's a kaiju fight again. That'll be awesome.

Higher and higher. Higher. As Dom and Hobbs punching each other underneath the two giant Sature Liberty versus the Jesus Christo. As you might have imagined, the Hesu Christo and the Statue of Liberty got married

after this. family They are also Tourettoes now They are the two Touretto statues And their children will be beautiful That's why he's pushing for diversity all the time He's like we need statue people Let's get a couple of monument guys in here

That'll be pretty great No not those monuments Other monuments We have to replace Let's get some monument men These guys are long boring But Starfield All right yeah so come on

Monuments Men, George Clooney, John Goodman for some reason. Bill, Bill Murray in an army uniforms. Yeah. Well, so Dom's like, all right, let's just fucking rip the safe out of the wall. It's the, you know what? Fuck it. You know, that's the last act is, you know what? Fuck it.

And if I'm Han, I'm like, dude, what did we just spend two weeks? Like, I could have been, I could have been, we could have done this two weeks ago, man. Or I could have been working my game even harder on Giselle and trying to fucking get laid down here, but I was driving these funny cars in your warehouse for four days. But if you're still getting the 11 million in that world, that's what they, I mean, like, that's the one

good thing about that you know what the fucking, they're all after the money. Like there's no like, I actually kind of love these movies as an antidote to Marvel. They're just like more like, yeah, it's just about money and fucking like fucking each other's sisters, I guess. Right. Yeah. It's not

saving the world. Yeah, not. It's fine. I, they are an antidote. to Marvel to me. I do think they're like getting more and more towards that. Hobbs and Shaw especially with like just giving Idris Elba an Iron Man suit. He's literally genetically modified in that movie.

I know. It's like the dumbest fucking thing. Incredible. Weapon X versus Hobbs and Shaw. Insanity. So yeah, we talked about it. The fucking safe thing is awesome. A million cops. Like one

million cops die. Corrupt. Corrupt cops, I'm sorry. And arguably, no one else in any of these huge car pile-ups or safes blowing through banks and... Yes, dude. I think there's some little old lady trying to fucking get her debit card in the goddamn ATM. What was that? And a huge safe just turned her to dust.

And now she's just a grease stain. That was crazy. She's got $40 in one hand and that's all that is less. The rest is a purple puddle. hand is floating. You know what happened was there was a big envelope but missing and George Bailey wished he

never was born and they threw a fucking safe God threw a safe at that bank. It's like, all right, dude, you wish you were never born. Okay, cool. Here it comes. Easy to fix. Oh, no. Family. No. No, they were corrupt teachers.

Yeah. Oh, that uncle. They're corrupt doctors without borders. I do love corrupt front line workers. The cops getting decimated here is great. It reminds me of Blues Brothers, you know? Yeah. Yeah.

Very much. A highlight for me in the chase is when Toreto has got the safe alone and he does like a close line with the cable. It like just cuts a car in half the long way. You're like, oh, that's fucking a cool stunt to fucking shoot, man. And it's a second and a half in the movie. I mean, I'll tell you what, though, I need, because you see the top come off and then, like, the camera's far away and you're looking at it. I need to see a fucking neck and then just a gusher.

Because that dude driving that thing definitely got decapitated. No doubt about it. Heads rolling down the highway or something. No, in this movie, it would cut to, like, a family in the car like this, having ducked going, whoa. He didn't kill us. Or at the top of their head cut off And he's bleeding out And he's like, no, now I'll never be able to restart

The Nazi party That is Brazil, dude I know, he's a boy from Brazil You never know Now I look like Ray Liotta at the end of Hannibal Oh No Dude speaking of a

Pop a straw in it like a fucking coconut Speaking of our friend Steven Seagal he definitely Vin Diesel has a fucking executive decision line right here because they're like getting they're like they're getting cornered by the cops the cops are coming one way they're behind him and the whole thing was Paul Walker's trying to yell at him Brian's like Ben we just got to like detach let's just drive away detach and let's get out of here we're not going to make it Vin Diesel definitely fucking looks right at him

Toretto he's just like you will yeah fucking like totally doesn't detach when Paul Walker does like definite executive decision ref right there This movie loves 90s action movies. It's kind of great. Nice. I love it. Yeah. And I mean, like, you know, all this shit happens.

Almeida dies like three times. Like, first, the safe hits his car. And then he gets out like, like, like the Wiley Coyote's got soot all over his face. Yeah, he's like accordioning out as he walks. Yeah. The safe was made from by Acme, you know. Oh, that's why. I mean, their plan is pretty much

why they might as well put rocket roller skates underneath the safe and to steal it. The bridge was painted on the side of a mountain. Yeah. I love how the rock just shoots this dude who's been sort of barely a villain anyway. There's no like big

reveal or, you know. He just walks up and goes, ding, dink, double tabs him without looking. It's brutal like it. No look. The no look is chef's kiss, man. This dude, he's had a rough day. He's fucking ready to go home for the day.

He's got a line that it was like, it's for his, like, the man that got killed and, you know, the grenade guy, I guess. Justice for grenade guy. I feel like, and again, that's these dumb movies. They have to, like, he literally says, you killed my whole team, asshole. Like, we know why he's shooting him, but we need it to be like, don't forget the guy he's shooting. the ground is the bad guy and the guy you're watching is the good guy and the guys who he's about to arrest are also the good guys. Okay. So, hold on. Okay, so they're good. I feel like, yeah, you got to watch all nine movies. You'll see. You'll get it.

You all understand what I'm talking about. I think you're right. The look that that dude gives the camera at the end when the second grenade hits, it's like, oh, fuck, I'm going to be known as grenade guy now, right? This is me forever. I, you know, I used to be known as ribs because ate all those ribs that time. No, now I'm grenade guy. Well, if this movie would actually show violence, we could call them pieces. There you go.

But that's never going to happen. That's another major drawback. And that's kind of what I hate about the Marvel and Star Wars of it all. I blame them a lot for it. But it is just because of we want to sell everything globally at PG-13. It's so frustrating that we can't get like actual violence. But like the amount of shit they can. show in this, but they can't show like the

consequences of being shot or something like that. Something that might be important to like make it feel like real for people who are like, oh, it's fun, you just run through Brazil shooting machine guns and like nothing happens. It's also a star thing though because like after that Vin Diesel Rock fight

where they are bludgeoning each other and in the fight they look like shit when they cut to them all in the fucking police wagon or whatever, they look totally fine. Versus in that in the last movie there's a scene where Paul Walker, one of his FBI cohorts there, it's the guy who is in

the new Perry Mason, he's in a bunch of shit, he's like, he's played a cop and almost everything. Oh, Shay Wiggum. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, he has some like throwaway line that like Brian O'Connor gets pissed off about and fucking gets the shit beat out of him by Paul Walker. And then the next scene like his eyes are all, he looks like a fucking raccoon,

his nose is broken, he's scrapped up, like that's how Vindiesel in the Rock should look for the rest of this movie because they'd be going through fucking glass and whatever and it's like totally absent of consequence and this is a movie where that should definitely be in play. A little bit at least.

More than that. Just acknowledge that there was a fucking fight five minutes ago. No, no. They're Titans. They have no emotion. They're never even out of breath. Yes. Yeah. That is weird. They're never even like they're never frustrated. They're never frustrated. They're never overwhelmed.

They're never out of breath. They're never sad, happy. They're almost as if they are just beings. Yeah. Mia is pregnant in this movie. She takes more naps. That's about it. She's not like, you know what I mean? like, hungry or upset or anything like that. She's just like she's running the call center the whole time it seems like. Yep. She's the living GPS. That's absolutely right. Great. Fine. Jesus. But the taking the break during a fight like that needs to happen more. Because when you're

fucking watching Roddy Piper and fucking Keith David and they live they're just like it adds so much to it. That shit is great. That's why WWE wrestlers always double knocked out at some point so that they can each have like a 60 second

breather on the ground. It's like oh we hit heads. Oh, let's roll around. Are you okay? You need to get up yet? No, okay. Let me get another 45 seconds here. Just give me a second. I'm trying to fart. That's why John McLean was great in those early movies, the first three or whatever.

After that, he became a God person. And this is just God people as well. Yeah. It's so fucking crazy when he drives a tank over cars in Russia. You're like, you are a cop. Like, you, an ex-cop, you are 60, what are you doing in Russia? You didn't even want to fly

to fucking Los Angeles. It's okay, folks. I'm a cop from across the world. I'm a cop from a fucking country you despise. Let me through. So they, they trick the audience. Galgado drives a fuck

they switch saves and they win the day and everyone kind of retires Galgado and Han are driving and she's just like making out on top of him and it's like awesome very dangerous

I'm gonna pull over this is awesome let's definitely have some hot thanks Hans like let's be careful I could die in this car what let's go to Tokyo Drift not yet baby

ridiculous there's more movies does. I mean, the fucking line is great, though, because she's like, oh, I thought you said you wanted to go to Tokyo. And he's like, yeah, but we'll get there. I'm like, yeah, we know, dude. That's one day. Not as clever as you think it is

screenwriter. I'm here for it, though. I love the magic of like, all right, let's fuck it. Like, we got to keep. And literally earlier in the movie, Jordana Brewster says, like, no, Dom, no more splitting up. We're sticking together. And it's like, is death not the ultimate divorce?

I feel like by Fast 10 Vin Diesel is going to be actually bringing people back to life outside of cinema Like you'll be like And in this movie we have You know fucking insert long death You know fucking legend actor here We need uh

We need a necromancer here to get Humphrey Bogart back from the dead I feel like for real they'll be like And in this movie is Paul Walker And we figured we did figure it out And everyone's like, whoa. A street chase in San Francisco, huh? Let me call my friend Razal Gould and bring back Steve McQueen from the dead. It's funny because they don't take usually any notes from Star Wars, but it would be wild if they did make a like how they made the, what's a call it when they made this second.

Yeah, the Force Ghosts. Like if they made a, not a Force Ghost, the second Luke Skywalker in the Mandalorian. Oh, that weird like, yeah. If they did that for Walker Oh no That would be really freaking weird But here's the thing You can do that with like Tarkin

In fucking Rogue 1 Because Peter Cushing's been dead for years Like you can't do it to a person Who died tragically I mean the Tarkin thing I don't think looks that great Because he's walking around and shit Paul Walker you bring him back

CGI for one of these movies Just have him sitting in a car You got that little window They gave him such They gave him such a good sendoff though Like, I fucking wept at the end. Was that six or seven when they're seven? Yeah.

I fucking wept, man. That shit hit hard. And that was a solid sendoff. I feel like we're good. I feel like they would still maybe do it. They could do it. That Leia shit drove me crazy. The Tarcan, you're right.

The Tarkin stuff less so, but the Leia stuff felt disrespectful. The Luke stuff was kind of fun in Mandalorian. That's like a fun way to do that. I don't think it's necessary. I'm just being a crank. Yeah, show us the fucking, just show us the full black suit and the green fucking, like that's all you to see, yeah. Yeah, and I'll be just as creamed in my jeans as I was in this way.

But like Gabe's, like, you're totally making the right on point. Like, and it's the same thing with these fast movies. It's like they don't respect audience intelligence with these studio things. And it's like, we got to make this so that even fucking slow Joe in the back row gets every fucking beat of this movie. Yes, yes. on the very first watch of it which is like the worst mentality to have with this shit. Yeah, I don't

understand what that is because if someone's bought the ticket to the movie, then it's mission accomplished as far as the studio is concerned. So like you don't have to like, if that's the marketing machine, it's like no one is going like, I wouldn't go see that movie. I was kind of confused at one point

in the second act as to who actually was a good guy and who was a bad guy. And I mentioned that on my podcast and now the movie's not doing well. It's like, no, that's not how, that's not what's going to happen. Like, there's so, there's so many, I'm, you notice it more and more. Like, for Action Boys, we watch a lot of like 70s and 80s and 90s movies. Yeah. And actually exclusively those three decades, it's like, you don't, like, so much stuff is just like, I think what they're

saying is that he's the heroin dealer here. And it's like, every movie now over, it's like, people literally like ADR, oh my God, that was my car. You know, and it's like, we don't even, like, people it's like it's make people watch a movie a second time i mean it's you're disrespecting the audience they're like no one's ever going to get anything let's spoon feed literally every fucking second yeah go go everybody follow michael man don't explain a fucking thing figure out what you think you know what black hat's about you go and find out what the fuck black hats about that he doesn't know michael man definitely does not know people don't like that movie but i love that movie it's a great movie okay while we're talking

I like Black Hat as well. And I just watched it a month ago to confirm that I liked it after reading. And Bilga talked about it at one point. And I was like, you know what? I do like Black Hat. Let me double check that I actually do. And I wash it. And it was more boring and more enjoyable than I remember.

Nice. Sometimes you need to get bored, man. Let's just fucking strap in and have a boring time. And that's a good thing. A boring, beautiful movie. Yes. Like, that's fine by me. in museums all the time. It's boring and beautiful.

It's like, I soak it in. It's like, I don't need it to be like, and around this corner is, who knows? It's like, I can just catch up and see some fucking art. Not everything is a fucking water ride, dude. Some things are dry. Some things can be dry. Yeah. So

what's with the rest of the retirement plans here, Steve? That incredibly boring ludicrous and Tyrese scene that takes 24 minutes about, oh, we have the same car. And you now have your own garage. And it's the two most charismatic people. It's the two comic relief. Just getting to finally get away and just go

off the way you want them to. Yeah. Like yeah, Galgadoo, I'd watch Galgadoo and Han make out for 20 minutes as opposed to watch. You know what I mean? Like the ratio was way off in that regard. Absolutely. I mean, I'm addicted to gambling and haven't been to a casino in like 19 months. So I could also have watched Leo and what deal, whatever the brothers' names are. I'm going to watch them for gambling for hours. It made this Vegas.

And it looked stressful, but it made me miss Vegas so bad. I'm ready. My body is ready. Is your bank account? No. It's been a weird year. But you'll get it all back. I think if the five of us went to Vegas,

at least two out of the five of us are coming back in a body bag. If we all went together to Vegas. No knees for me. Yeah, that's for sure. Say goodbye to the knees, Chris. I don't even know what happened Yeah so then that's that They leave Vince

Vince's wife and the son Get a little thing A share of money And it's a real like Yeah this note also says I will see you soon Yeah nice try Yeah and how do

What's this woman supposed to do With 11 million dollars Cash She's like I'm sort of overwhelmed I'm in a favela I'm gonna get fucking murder I was waiting for her to start pulling up

floorboards like Gene Hackman in the conversation and just shoving the fucking dollar bills in to get them somewhere else. Because you do she's going to have to. You're 100% right. Like you have to if you're going to give her that leave two bodyguards and have paid them a salary for a year. Yeah. Just have them there with the money until they figure out whatever the next step is because it's going to be a little bit. Yeah. I drop nine Rottweiler puppies

off for you. Have fun. Cash value. $11,000. Not too bad, though. Seems risky. They're all named Dom. Yes. Dom one, Dom two, Dom three, and they're all shitting and pissing all over your fatala. Well, then you can be like George Foreman when he's like, these are my sons. George, George, George, George and George.

He definitely did that. He did. And he has a daughter, like his sixth kid is a girl and he's named Georgette. Oh, really? Nice. Yeah. You got to love it. And then just, we end on the.

and Dom. Yeah, Paul Walker and Dom are just like on the beach and they've not drinking coronas. They're drinking whatever they're drinking some brown bottle of some kind. Pacifico, maybe. And it's like, hey man, you want to have one more street race because, you know, that's what we do. You know, it's like, I don't know, man.

You want to put on a movie? Like, maybe that's me showing my car. Yeah, I just want to take some time from cars, man. I feel like we were just dealing with cars a lot down in Brazil. I got it. Let's just chill out of cars for a second. Got it. You want to put on bullet? You want to drink a milkshick and go to the movies?

Yes, that's a great idea. That is a way to recoup from something stressful. And that's the end of the movie. They drive off. They're going to have, you know, it's a thing where he keeps bringing up from, is it just from the last movie where he's accusing him of cheating in that street race? Something. Or the first one or whatever.

It's one of the other. There was a really match in the fourth one, I guess, right? And then he nudges him or something with the car. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. As we're going to do is nudge your best friend with a car. car. That's the other thing that always drives me crazy when they squeeze these

side missions in where they do drag races in the middle of the full quest. It's always like, you could easily get arrested, hurt, bang up a car. It's like, although the $100 million plan is off because we drag race to get a push. It's like

you fucking idiots. It looked pretty cool. Well, it's like if in the deer hunter they needed to rob a bank but they kept fucking doing Russian roulette instead. It's like, yeah. even at the very end they're just like Meryl Streep's got one. They love it.

Yeah, so that is it until fast six. So I mean, that is it until 11 more movies or something. We'll see what happens. But Gapers, we'll start with you. I think obviously it's going to be a recommend. But did you learn anything new on this most recent rewatch for this movie, a different kind of appreciation for it?

I wanted to watch this movie specifically through the lens of this kicked off the sort of fast asance and I wanted to like and looking at the looking at it is that magic really and I've said this too many times in my life but the magic really is in that family shit which sounds so dumb and also if you write action movies and someone gives you notes and it's like connect the characters more

what's everyone's emotions and it's like that's whack that's whack But watching Fast 5, you're like, the secret sauce here is the dumb, serious, like, melodramatic relationship stuff going on around it. It's like, oddly the secret sauce in a way where you're like, I don't want the scene where they're talking about their dads because it's boring. But having had that in the movie, it made it at least something more. I don't really know exactly what I'm articulating here. But I guess what I'm saying is something that you would think is so corny on paper or in conversation. is like, oh shit, this is what made this popular. That this is like everyone is family

and it does feel good that the bad guys turn good and join your team and now we're even stronger. Now Magneto's fighting with us. It's like that shit. It's like play with those rules. So I truly enjoy this movie. And upon rewatching this,

I'm glad the rocks back out. I think that's fun. I think keep Vin as the sort of figurehead of power. I like that. Yeah. Steve Sadek. Yeah, I'm not a see our previous episodes.

I'm not the huge fan of this franchise. However, and this is the first time I've seen this one, this I think is the best I've seen of the five or six that I've seen

hands down. I think it is, Justin Lynn does an amazing job with the action. The problem is the runtime and just sort of the, the tease me with a good heist movie and then not give it to me

is always a bummer. But I thought I really had actually more fun with this than not. So I think it's a recommend for me. Oh, look at that. Eric Siska. Yeah, it's it's a recommend for me too, which is surprising because like Steve, I didn't have a much of affinity for this franchise. I watched one, two, four, and five this past 48 hours. And the early stuff, like, it just, it doesn't jive with me as much. But like, now, I feel like the, John, I think what you're saying about the family

stuff makes sense because it makes these more characters than just people doing things. And then the heist stuff I like. I think they should go into more genre type of areas. And the action, you know, like we said before, you can actually see what's going on. And it's pretty compelling, unlike some of the street racing stuff previously. So, yeah, it's a recommend here. Look at that. Chris Cabin.

Yeah, it's a soft recommend, but it's a recommend. I really have turned on these movies, the stupidity of them. And I think you're right, John, when you say that about the family stuff is like yeah i kind of wore into i grew into these movies in some way i don't know how it happened but i grew into them and uh seven is going to be my favorite uh to the day it's just such a blockbuster like they everything is happening in that movie and and that's where kurt russell comes in they just blow it out so much in that movie but as far like this would be number two or number three i also have a really weird affinity for too fast too furious

and singleton even like in Tokyo drift is the first one is actually the one I go back to him like that kind it's still kind of sucks like that's the one I'm still like I don't know about this this kind of crap but like they definitely learned something so I have to give it to them yeah it's almost like the power of the movies is that there's nine of them in a way too kind of like where it's like they beat you down where you're like yes fine family Jesus Christ your family I got it all right I love it all right let's just fucking race cars again fam like yeah right dude they just they get you it's like uh atrophy you just you just lose by attrition you're like fine yes let's do it yeah it's it's weird i've been really having this own like fast asans over the past few days like i got that box set so i was like this new movie's coming out whatever i'll rewatch these things some of them like this one i didn't remember a lot of because it was a real like green out it wasn't even at the theater i saw it on like a bad DVD rip or something. So, like, not a great ideal screening experience.

But, like, I've been having fun with most of them. I still don't care for Tokyo Drift because I think it's just too... The only thing that it benefits or, you know, gave us, is the character of Han. Who's great? He's my favorite character in this franchise. The Singleton movie, Too Fast and Furious, I think, plays, like, a really small, nice, like, 1970s, like, car crime movie. Yeah. So if you look, like, that movie, if it was made, like, 1975, definitely could have started, like,

Burt Reynolds or some shit, like, you know, because they're, like, racing for this drug dealer and there's all the undercover cop shit. James Remar, by the way, really great in it. So, I don't know, but this, this is great. This, like, the takeoff from here with the action. And it's practical action, too. Not a lot of computers going on in this movie.

Except when Vin Diesel drives the car out of the train car at the very beginning. That is a fucking cartoon Vin Diesel head. And the dive into the river is... It's like, they're both glowing. like ET as they saw but yeah no I would I would totally recommend this

I'm having fun with this but there you go folks that fam is Fast 5 from 2011 directed by Justin Lynn John John Gabris thank you for coming on again man it's always a blast rapping with you of course oh dude this is a real pleasure all I want to do is shout about movies

and I'm so happy to do it with you guys who I love to talk to it's this is fucking blast And speaking of fam, we are headgum fam. So go ahead, plug away on what you got going on lately, man. Check out my podcast. Hi and Mighty. It's just a chat show. I think if you're listening to We Hate Movies, an episode you might want to start at,

is the episode where I have these guys on. We talk, getting stoner movies. And it was a fucking riot. Check that. And you guys, we have to have you back on soon. And then also I have a movie podcast, too, called Action Boys. It's a Patreon-only podcast, but we do have like 10 or 12 free episodes out on. whatever podcast app you're listening to

this on. So if you want to just search Action Boys and listen. Huge recommend. Yeah. Oh, thank you guys. I really appreciate that. Yeah, it's been, it's been really fun. I am blessed that like one night a week, I just the movie I want to watch is chosen for me. So I don't have fucking

diner menu with the fucking streaming apps where I'm like, okay, I guess I'm watching the devil's advocate again. Fuck, what did I do? This is two nights in a row. but yeah Actionboys.Biz There we go

and yeah man fucking open door policy come back whenever this is always a blast as always here in Wee Hey movies though the show rose on

next week Steve Sadec what's going on there what are we talking about we are talking wild things with Angelica Jade Bastien coming back which will be super fun

a sultry episode quite I'm assuming I'm assuming you get to see some we're recording it tomorrow so who knows some thick cut bacon in that one yeah

they'll have some no doubt some BDE some bacon dick energy but if you cannot wait a week until that episode we also do of course

have the Patreon Patreon.com slash we hate movies what the fuck we got going on there this month there's a lot going on I think right yeah what is

a history of violence was our we love movies selection yeah we did history of violence We've got an episode on our once-in-a-lifetime thing, death of a cheerleader. We've got another Beverly Hills 9-0-2-0 episode coming out.

We've got Ken on the Gleepe Glossary. The Gleap Glossary, I read to these guys about the legendary Star Wars character, Ken. So please tune in to that. Oh, shit. And also actually, isn't we're dropping the jackass commentary, right? Yeah, that's coming out. You can hear me on the air Almost throw up no fewer than three times

Dude, the best fucking movies of all that The idea that The number one theater experience in my life Is jackass 3D I swear to God I've never felt like that in a fucking theater before I cannot wait to see four in the theater Like it's the only way to say sharing in other people's disgust

And fear rules It does, indeed. But so there is, there you go, a ton of patron content for you. And next week, our good friend Angelica, Jade Bastion, back on the program. Talking wild things, we'll be talking a lot about that Kevin Bacon hog, that's for sure. So until next week with Kevin Bacon's dick, I'm Andrew Juppin. Stephen said that. Eric Cisca, Chris Cabin.

John Gaboris. Take it easy. He made it. He did it, man. Oh. That was a HitGum podcast.