We Hate Movies - S11: Episode 555 - Wild Things (with Angelica Jade Bastién)

Episode Date: June 29, 2021

This week on WHM, the gang is hanging at HeadGum's Brooklyn studio with Vulture writer and good friend of the show, Angelica Jade Bastién, talking about the totally great Wild Things! How many VHS tapes of this film were completely worn down in the late '90s? Why did they bother with all the explainer scenes post-THE END? Was Bacon's third act hog reveal really an accident? And how great is Bill Murray in this movie? PLUS: Who else remembers one of the most infamous NYPD members of all time, the Cannibal Cop?! Wild Things Denise Richards, Kevin Bacon, Neve Campbell, Matt Dillon, Theresa Russell, Daphne Rubin-Vega, Robert Wagner, Jeff Perry, and Bill Murray; directed by John McNaughton. Catch WHM on tour this fall, hopefully! WHM Merch Store Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the program, welcome to the humid Florida Swamp Fuck Fest. It's Wild Things. I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Sadek. Eric, Cisco. Chris Cabin. And I'm Angelica Jade Bastien, Bitches. And we hate movies.

Hello, everyone. Welcome to the program. Thank you for tuning in. As always, you heard right up front. We are welcoming back to the program. Our good friend, Angelica Jade, how are you? It's great to see you. By the way, IRL. Yes, yes. We're in the same room right now. It's fucking crazy. I'm in fucking New York City, motherfuckers. Like, you're so lucky. Right now. We are.

We're in the beautiful headgum studios in Brooklyn, New York. That is right. Thanks to Mike putting this together. Air conditioning's on. Also courtesy of Mike, loving that. Not sweating like a pig. It's great. Recording, this episode recording.

Thank you, Mike for that. So are you now our teen sexpert? Is that how it's going to, workout. You put, you were the one that said, you, you said, Angelica, wild things. No one else said it. That's true. I was, my whole thing was, I was like, okay, what's an interesting movie to talk about? Okay. That sort of fits into my theme, which has been most of the movies I've done on the podcast, have been 90s movies. Sure. Right. But with the exception of Wonder Woman 1984. Remember we did? Oh, my God. Remember that movie? Remember when we

kvetched for three hours I know sometimes I listen to that episode and I'm like yo why were we so fucking mad at that movie I was so mad at that movie I was I mean for obvious and it was in the depths of quarantine everybody was frustrated and shit it was the movie that was

supposed to save us it's supposed to be the one thing at the end of it all that would have been fun to watch and then it was hell on her and then gal Gadot ooh girl you you need to not talk about Israel you need to Yeah, that's all.

That's been uncomfortable. Gialga, don't. Let me ask you this, because this was something I posited last week to our good buddy, John Gabris, when he was on, we were talking fast five. I said, because she's in those, like, in some of those movies, yeah. And I was like, I think, because that was 2011 that came out, Fast Five, and I was like, I think over the last 10 years, somehow, she's become a worse actor. That doesn't surprise me. Yeah, I kind of agree. Like, she's not memorable in the Fast and Furious movies.

She's just kind of like there. She hits her mark. Oh, oh, this is the line. I'm saying the line. But like in the Wonder Woman, 1984 film specifically, it really highlights like her inability to have normal human speech. Yeah. That's what the problem is they give her more material.

Exactly. They should have stuck with the seven lines of script. That was the best thing for her. And now this, you're leading stuff. Even in that, wasn't she in the murder on the Orient Express? make thing? No, she's in the one No, isn't she going to be in the one

that was supposed to come out but it has Army Hammer and they're like, don't know what to do with it. They got Army Hammer, Christopher Plummer's dead so he can't sweep in and fix that shit.

I would actually have loved that if Christopher Plummer was just like all of a sudden and fucking galloped out. What is the problem with Army Hammer, though? Like, okay, he's a cannibal. Deal, deal.

You know, you know, what would he do? Yeah. I honestly think that would have been a less of a deal. Like, if it just came out, like, yeah, he's a cannibal. Oh, was it more than that? Yeah, it's a lot of bad stuff.

Like, nasty to ladies and whatnot. Yeah, nasty to women. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that. Anyway, teen sex. Yeah. Can you be polite to anybody if you're a cannibal? That's my question.

I thought it was just cannibal. I thought he was like the cannibal cop. And I was like, do you know what? That's bad. But in my head, I'm like, that's kind of cool. I think they would have forget. That one would have been fine, I think, ultimately. Yeah.

The cable cop got off scot-free. He had cannibalistic dreams, but he wasn't nasty to ladies. so I think that saved him. Now, outside of New York listeners, you might not remember the cannibal cop. I mean, why are we doing it? That's my question. We wanted to, like, grill people.

Anyway, teen sex is the subject. So we're talking wild things from 98. Great ear for some, not for others. But you know what? Before you do that. Oh, what's that, dude? If you don't mind, I'm going to hit play real quick. Coming soon to theaters.

Oh! It's the VHS trailer game, ladies. America's favorite game show revolving around obsolete materials and Angelica Jade Bastien's least favorite part of the show. Yes, I cringe sometimes listening to it because I'm like, this is rigged. I agree with Eric. I'm like something and the milk isn't clean.

So if I don't get any points, that's also why it's rigged. Angelica needs to get off Eric Chan. You know what I mean? Eric Chan is poisoning America. 40 members strong, Eric. Use a VPN if you're going to go out. You're going to the Philippines like every other month just to check in on the servers and whatnot.

Yeah, if everybody's looking for Jim Watkins, Eric has the direct B-line to him. You know, I couldn't bring myself to finish that HBO program there. That dude did it, right? They're pretty sure it's him or his dumb son. Yeah. I think they're together. The dad and the son.

What HBO show? The Cullen Hoback doc. into the storm. That's great if you're a fan of just watching people be gross and like remembering why this whole country is fucked. Oh, yeah. Or one of the many reasons. I mean many.

The racism is huge. I got a feeling though a couple of those QAnon founders there. Those dudes probably pretty racist. Oh, my God. Oh, of course. Okay, so for those, I don't have the points in front of me, but I will say the way this game works for anyone who wants to know is I'm going to ask five questions.

for each trailer, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 is the point order. Everyone's going to guess. Well, Chris is going to answer because he got the answer. Have we ever gotten to just, like, the last, like the fifth question? Yeah, I think so, because you... I was just burping to the microphone, like, a fucking stumbach. I mean, I literally just did the same thing.

I mean, you losers who got shut out a couple times, so we've gone all through five. Yeah. Oh, no, okay. There's one time where, like, we just straight up have not got... You're right, yeah. We bombed on whatever that, the Mike Lee movie. Yes, the Mike Lee was bad for everybody. It was the worst for Steve, who I want to remind people, has zero points, which is pretty incredible.

Yeah, it's pretty bad. Steve throughout this whole thing will always be a zero, and I'm okay with that. So Angelica is going to play for the guest team. Angelica is the only guest to put points on their big board, so that's pretty cool. So once you guest within a round, you are out until the next round, which is the next trailer. Right. And everybody gets it, and the winner of which will use the... the WHM slush fund for a cameo of their choice.

That's right. Now, I want to point out that I'm kind of seated in this room to the side where I'm not in Steve's line of vision. Steve Sadek famous for not having any peripheral vision. No, not at all. He's got these gigando glasses on.

And I can see the sides of his eyes. He's not going to be looking at me with, he's going to be looking at me with his paralyzed vision. Yeah, we've okayed a punch in the arm. from Eric on this one. All right, everybody. You know what? Let's get to it.

So one overarching note, one of these trailers, and I won't say which one, is a previous episode. This fucked me the last time you said that, though. I totally bombed out on Muppet Christmas Carol. How many trailers are there in total? There are three trailers. Okay.

Two, and the first two are going to be coming soon to theaters in 1998. And the third is now available on video cassette. Nice. So just an FYI. So one might be a 97 release-ish. Okay. Got it.

But, okay. So the first one. Game Masters clout. This bitch. Jane Master. A rightfully embattled directors follow up to his big breakthrough hit,

an adaptation from a master of horror. Andrew Juppin. Oh, fuck, this might be too early now. Is this Jeepers creepers? It is not. Because that dude's, Embattedded. Oh, that dude, rightfully in bad.

That dude sucks. But see, now we're getting, like, him doing this editorializing. This guy's probably just ate a sandwich, Steve. You know what, dude, when we get to the end, you'll find out this dude did not eat a sandwich. He'll be probably eating a sandwich, but he's also like, it might be, whatever. Okay. He'd say it one more time. Yes, I will.

And actually, rightfully embattled directors follow up to his breakthrough hit, an adaptation from a master of horror. God fucking, damn it. The master of horror is strong. Chris Cabin. Apped pupil. It is apt pupil. It is apt pupil. I know that movie.

Yes. Wait, no, wait. That's a, that's a master of horror. It's a Stephen King. It's a short story or some shit. Oh, okay. That's the trick. That's the game master's trick.

Well, congratulations, Chris. Thank you. Also owning a VHS of this. Eric, you're within 10 points of me. Can I let everybody know? Am I really? Yeah, I think you're. I won't be able to read it because Chris got it.

But the trivia, the trivia I pulled out is my favorite trivia. because it's insane. It's straight from IMDB. That's how you know it's good. This film features a character named Monica, Jews, and David Schwimmer. David Schwimmer. Also Jewish. David Schwimmer is best known for playing Ross Keller in Friends in which his character

Ross Keller is a Jewish and his sister is named Monica. Wait, wait, he's an apt pupil? He is an apt pupil. He's like the guidance counselor. I kind of want to rewatch that. Yeah. I don't remember. I don't, I have no memory of him in the movie.

It sounds like a fun time. The Stephen King movies are a trip. I think he's like the one who figures it out. Yes, he does. Hey, I think he's a Nazi man. I find him like as interesting as nasal drip. Yes. He's awful.

He's awful. I'm sorry. Like, let me just say this because it's weighing on my heart and my spirit. You got to get it off your chest. You got to do it. Friends is one of the worst shows that white people support. And it's like, if you want to watch a similar vibe but actually good, watch living single where people have real sexual chemistry and friend chemistry in a fun way

and it deals with interesting ideas and it's funny as shit friends was never fucking funny I'm like I don't you know I don't really be fucking with white people like that they are no friends of mine either like I think you're the like just for everybody to know like I was talking to my friend Alex and I was like yeah you know I'm seeing friends and da da and he was he was and I was and I was like, you know, maybe some white ones and he's like, you have white friends? And I was like, it took me a second. I was like, no, I know I have some one. And then I was like, no, I'm seeing the we hit movie

boys. And that's it. That's in terms of my white quota. That's it. I'll tell you what. I can't remember exactly what it was, but living single, definitely better theme in trouble. Oh, of course. Living. In a 90s kind of world. I'm glad I got my girl. And then rap part.

Yeah. Get a head up one. Yeah. I was going to say that's the part that Steve and I won't drive but Chris Gavin will be right. I will go in. Angelica, you want to rethink that white friend's comment?

Oh, no, you don't, right? You don't. Okay, thank you for introducing me to the bus, this day. Okay. Number two here. Game Master's Clue. A hip horror sequel,

the teaser trailer has the heroine working through the traumatic events of the first film with, oh, I got Eric, over here. Scream 2. Incorrect. Andrewvin? I still know what you did last.

That's the only one other one it could have been. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The teaser trailer is Jennifer Love Hewitt at a therapist's office. Oh, yes. And then hook hand jumps through the thing. I remember this.

Also, Eric, by the way, that was like a, that's like you did a sacrificial incorrect answer because I was literally going to say scream. Yeah. It's a coin flip. And then it was just like, well, if that's not the one, it's got to be. the other one. For a second, I think you're going to chime in say it was a fucking idiot

because that came out in whatever year. Like 90, that was probably 90s. Scream 2 is 97. Yeah, that's true. You know,

you were like, don't make fun of me in the comments to this. I'm just letting people go. Yeah, tell everybody I'll fight him. If they do that. Okay.

Final one. And then we can talk about wild things and threesome. Hot. Hot. Game Master's Clue. Now, this is the one coming soon to video cassette,

FYI. Okay. Game Master's clue. A dry, dark comedy that centers on a teenage sex pot and her bisexual lover. Oh, fuck? Mm-hmm. Coming soon. So this means it's like 96, 97.

Yeah. Yeah. Say that one more time. A dry, dark comedy that centers on a teenage sex pot and her bisexual lover. There's something there, and I'm like trying to pull it from the spoken fog and we in my brain. I will say this is a movie that you have to pull from the fog a little bit.

It's not like something that's well celebrated right now. Should we move down to the next clue? We can unless I remember it's good. All right. So trivia. D.D. says, what did you think?

I'd be the dead one? I'm the fucking narrator, guys. Keep up. In fact, one of the most famous movies with voiceover narration ever, Sunset Boulevard does take place after the narrator has died. D.D. says,

what'd you think? I'd be the one. dead one, I'm the fucking narrator guys yada yada yada yos. It sounds familiar especially the tone of that. Yes, it's like D-D-D-D-D-D-D that was wrong, man. All right, and we're going to move on

to three. So for three points, the tagline, which is not going to help anybody, sadly. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll be offended. Oh, man, it's the 90s. Get ready to get offended me. You better fucking like it. The 90s, man. Who's trying to offend me? Uh, okay, are we moving on to two?

Wow, this is hilarious. No idea. No idea. Fuck. And listen, I know someone on Twitter got it already. You can just put that in your... The whole thing about, you always see the thing where it's like, I was screaming in my car. I can't hear you do.

Why are you screaming in your car? This was recording fucking weeks ago. Yeah, we can't hear you. Just people. Yeah, like, sometimes I see con. This is why I'm off Twitter right now. I'm like, sometimes I see comments and I'm just like, oh, like, people are fucking stupid. Or they like playing it online.

Is that why you muted me? Is that how that worked? Some people are fucking stupid. Fuck, this sucks. Number two star in the film, which is probably not going to help everybody, but Martin Donovan, which is the 90s and, you know,

Martin Donovan. Eric Siska. This is going to be wrong. I haven't seen the movie in 10,000 years. Truth? It is not truth. Chris Gavin, simple men It is not simple men

And the number one I think you assume How Hartley I said I said I'll say the number one star Will help you guys If you want to wait for it Instead of again

Well it's too late No for Andrew and Angelica Oh I was just scratching Okay My chest here The number one star The lead of the film The poster of the film

Christina Ritchie Christina Ritchie Wow okay I know I haven't seen this Christina Ritchie Martin Donovan. Oh, son of a. Christina Ritchie, Martin. I mean, if neither of us answers, this would be the first time nobody's answer.

No, we've stumped these dudes before, so you're good. We bottomed out on secrets and lies. Oh, that's right. Are we going to turn our keys? Nobody's going to get it. I'll give you one more thing just because I like, Angelica might not help, probably won't. Lisa Kudra is also in this film.

Yeah, didn't help. Thank you so much. Also, you love friends. I know. Where is up with this French? This 90s shit, man. It's too much. I believe Tom Arnold is also in it.

I don't know about that. The film is the opposite of sex. Yeah, I've seen that poster. Yes, okay. I never saw it. I think it's a Don Roos movie. I wouldn't tell you. Yeah, that's like that dark comedy thing.

Like, I think she gets, the guy is gay at first, then she has sex with him. Then he realizes he's bisexual. She gets pregnant. And it's a whole silly thing. Oh, interesting. That's the opposite. to the sex, and now we will talk about sex, the motion picture. Sex, the

motion picture. Wild things. Wild things. I'm trying to think of what my thought process was with suggesting it, but because we were talking about other titles including like disturbing behavior, which I had talked about

doing previously on an episode. But I don't know, something just, I was like, wild things. And I was like, maybe that will inspire them. And then I was like, Oh, we're doing it. We're doing it. You're a little younger than us.

Did you see this in theaters or probably not? I mean, bitch, I didn't see this motherfucker. Well, a couple of these perverts did over there. Wait, let's see children.

A friend of mine, this is so weird. I don't know if it was, I don't know if it was a 14th or 15th birthday. Oh, my God. My birthday, holy shit. Convinced his mother to take him and all of his friends

to go see wild things. I was forever in her death. Wait a second. Most important question, I think. Was the mother, was it like a, I'm buying the tickets and drop an offer? Was she in attendance? She was in attendance. Oh, man.

It's cool, though. I think there was enough of us that I think I got the second row. So that's a little buffer. Honestly, like, if I time traveled, I would probably be seeing a lot of movies just to get the vibe. And that's one I would actually see in theaters. But I was like eight or nine years old. and I have a very specific kind of black mother who would never let me.

I would have to sneak in. Just like you're not going to see that, Phil. Yeah. I found a way. Let me ask you, did you, I didn't see it in theaters. I saw it in a video. First, I knew when it was being released. Oh, I was like, yeah.

You had the fucking calendar date circle. Did you know? Until I'm home, until there's a lock around me. Let's just wait. You were in line at NutBusters video. Yes, NutBusters video, which was a tanked by Blockbuster, as everybody knows. But was there any, like, candle?

Did she have to say the words, blow out your candle in the wild things? No, no, no, no. There was no, like, actual party element to it. It was just a regular showing. But I think she was disappointed in her judgment. She wasn't mad at herself.

She was just disappointed. I think, like, I would love to know if anyone else was in that theater to see, like, all these little kids cackling at fucking Kevin. Kevin. Yeah, and when the dog shows up, I remember that.

I remember. seeing the screen and seeing the dog and I think there was just this wave of can I tell you I think this was the first penis I saw on screen I think it had to have been a first or very early for me and it was shocking it was a shocking development it's like you know because it's the last whatever

like 10 minutes of the movie casual that's what makes it rule it has more casual dick absolutely both on screen and in my life gentleman who are listening I saw this in It was the Bronx. Nobody gave a shit. It was 13 years, 14 years old or whatever.

Yeah, you can see it. Exactly. I just went with my buddy. We would just see like, fucking mortal. It was like, you want to see Mortal Kombat Annihilation or wild things? And then we want to see wild things like, oh my God, this is awesome. You know what it was? No clue. Just thought it was like a cool twisty thriller, you know what I mean?

And then like, it got real sexy. You want to hear a righteous bit of trivia? Sure. Dude who did the score for this movie also scored the first Mortal Kombat movie. Oh, that's how that's a lot. A lot of other things, but George S. Clinton. George S. Clinton number, yeah. Which I wasn't paying attention at first in the credits.

And I just saw George Clinton and I was like, holy shit. I thought that too. And then I was like, wait, no, that's, what? Whenever you look him up on IMDV, it's like, oh, that's definitely not the George Clinton. That's what the S is doing. It's like, not him, not that one. We want the dick. Gotta have that dick.

We've got to talk about the score, though. The score is an important. part of this movie. It definitely is. I do like it. It fucking rules. And there's some saxophone. Oh, yeah.

It's a saxophone situation. It's a score. Just like the movie itself, like this movie, why I think this movie is great and why I was so excited to like rewatch it first time through

without pausing it if you know what I'm saying. I hadn't watched this movie before, you know what that's about. Yeah, I just had to look at somebody. I was like, I've all, you know, I've seen a couple of scenes of this movie a lot and that is the alligator wrestling

scenes when that hillbilly when that alligator under his chin I had the tracking was all fucked up for that one scene wow I was yeah I was always more of a nine and a half weeks man myself but yeah this was pretty big I guess why I think this movie is great is that

it knows exactly what it is it's just a disgusting ass Florida Swampfucker movie like neo noir to its bone and it's not trying to be anything else it's not trying to like impress anybody it's not trying to be like conservative in its content for like wrangling the biggest box office net like it just is and along with that the score is just that it's just a it's a it's a gross ass you know

like the horns just where you need the horns like everything works perfectly it really leans into that Florida thing too like a lot of movies that are even set in Florida like yeah it's around but we're doing others don't worry about it but this is like Florida Florida Florida Yeah. And there's the rich on the swamp. It's like going against each other kind of a thing. Yeah, it has nice contradictions that, you know, for people who don't know, I'm, you know, a lot of people think I'm actually from Louisiana and I always have to be like, no, I'm not from New Orleans or Loraville, the small town where my mom lives now. I just go home there.

I'm actually born and raised in Miami, Florida. I'm a Miami girl. So did you go straight from like Miami to Chicago? Yep. Really? I graduated high school. you know what? I'm not going to let y'all know my age.

I'm going to start lying too. That's all right. At some point you graduated high school. 2000 something. I think they already do the math since you said that you were eight or nine. Yeah, fuck. I would know.

I was three. I was like a lady. What's your mother's maiden name real quick? Eat my ass. You had a soci. All this social security quake. Yeah. I, but yeah, I'm a Miami girl.

And watching this, I'm like, oh, these are just so, like, rich, white Miami area people. And they really nail it. The only thing they don't nail, the only thing, not enough sweating. Yes, true. Except for in that sex scene with Teresa Russell and her. Cabana boy. Yeah, I don't know where, how he works for her, but also, Teresa Russell, bitches. Love her in Black Widow.

Oh, yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Not the upcoming Black Widow. Wait, so what is this? What Black Widow? It's this, like, really great neo-noir where she plays a Black Widow. Oh.

Is it Deborah Winger? And Deborah Winger plays a detective hunting her down and they have a weird psychosexual. It's really pretty good. Note to self. Add to Watch list. It very much feels like a precursor of Killing Eve when, you know, killing Eve was good. Very, like, process-oriented. Like, you get a lot of Deborah Winger just work.

working through the clues. It's really good. Yeah, and like, Teresa Russell is, like, really smart and it's just like, it's a fun watch. It's like a really good, you know, I love me neo-noir. I love finding a scuzzy weird neo-noir. Because the good thing about neo-noir's like wild things or Black Widow is that like, unlike, you know, classic Hollywood era noir's, people, you can see the fucking. Which, not saying I want to see Humphrey Bogart laying pipe with Lauren Bacall, but. Come here, baby. Yeah, I'm kind of curious. My pipe is weird. You know what I say, babe? Never let the sun go down on an argument. So now you and you kiss each other. Look, this is very hot and all, but I'm not going to be moving during this.

Let me take your enormous lady underwear. It's 1956. Put it in my pocket. I love that. But also, like, on the other hand, like, one of the strengths of classic Hollywood noirs is the fact. that you don't see the sex but it's very obvious it exists and there's like the sex comes out in certain like you know certain gases between actors or in dialogue like you know when Barbara Stanwick and Fred McMurray are talking about her anklet and uh in double indemnity like

you know what I mean so it's it but it's I love like the vibe of wild things the scusiness the people just drinking beer and it's like hot out and gaiters I've been meaning to go back to some of those neo-nors like the John Dahl stuff like the last seduction I love the last seduction Red Rock West I think it's also him But for real sweat you gotta go back to body heat Oh God they are like slicked

Everybody is wet down there And it's oh that movie Everybody's wet down there Yeah you get it There's got many meetings there I was yeah I mean just watching this movie Because I'm not a Florida guy And like I've been to Florida a couple times

And the fucking summer heat man And that will get you going. Yep. I mean, it's hot there, but Louisiana hot is, like, on some other shit. Like, it's like you feel like you're in a fucking soup bowl in Portland. Like, I'm going, you know what, no. I'm going this summer. Y'all don't need to know when the fuck I'm going.

Do not. If you see me in the street, anywhere, Chicago, L.A., wherever I'm at. What gate are you going to be at? So H3. Oh, good gate. Thank you. No, seriously, do not say anything to me. If you're like, are you Angelica Bastian?

I will say no. Because I don't get recognized anywhere except for movie theaters, though, which is always like, hi, yes, it's me. You're taking my card so you can see my name and I can't lie at this point. I got recognized at a pizza parlor once. I think they got the clue because I was eating. It's always on the Metro North. Really?

Three times now, but it's always on the Metro North. Oh, yeah, you're wearing the cable guy, right? He's you, he's you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, get her done. Thank you, get her done. Chicken. I love the opening assembly about sex crimes, which we don't even get. I kind of want to see what this whole assembly would be like.

I know. I was actually like, no, you have to continue. You can't just be like sex crimes on the board. And then like, do, do, do, here come the cops that are. important to the story and they're like we know you've heard some things about like sexual assault and then it like cuts really hard and I was like wait what like what are they telling these kids if anything I just want to see it because you know because you get a tiny taste of it Kevin Bacon is opening himself up for the heckling of a lifetime oh yeah there are kids like

talking because they're like oh and the police are here and it's like boo fuck you big school Assembly. Well, I mean, Neff Campbell heckles the shit out of it. Yeah, she does, but there's a line I do have to say from a kid where one kid, like they, their question is posed to this kid audience, kid audience. What's a sex crime?

And then some dude screams, not getting any. And it's like, what the fuck? I'd be like, turn around like, shut the fuck up. It's so accurate though, because like there was always the piece of shit. No matter the severity of the assembly topic, there was the

dude who's going to make cracks and that guy was like the celeb of the afternoon and you would do it. So like, and I feel like it's like a sliding scale of like the most serious the presentation or reason for meeting.

If you're cracking wise, like the more epic and legendary you deem yourself to be. I'll be completely honest. That was me. Yep. Here we go. And I was kicked out of a religion class by a priest. Because, I mean, it's a shitty thing. I was a fucking eighth grade. I was a piece

of garbage. But you know, you realize you know, hey, if I get a laugh, people will stop making fun of me. So the idea was... That's the move. That's the move in sixth grade for me, totally. So we're learning about Nero and this guy... Cool dude. This priest is like, yeah, blah blah, blah. He was a monster.

The fiddle, the burn, all that stuff. By the way, he kicked his wife to death, and I raised my hand, and I asked, was it one kick or a series of kicks? And he's like... He was like, get out of here. One kick, I bet you it was a series.

It was definitely, or maybe there was a stairway involved. Steve. Yeah, I know. I was not a good Catholic. Yeah, it's funny because if you were that guy in the audience, I was a Neff Campbell, a goth, chained from a poor family, except it was like, the Negro version. Any assembly stormouts, though? Because she storms the fuck out of this assembly.

I definitely had assembly stormouts. I was suspended. almost expelled. Really? I dealt with some shit in high school. That's why whenever people are like, oh my God, like the best years of your life are like high school through your 20s.

I'm like, you mean when I was improperly or completely unmedicated? Yeah, the 30s are pretty good. You've got a little more money in your pocket, ideally, and you've figured some shit out and maybe you're getting some therapy. Exactly. It's the money, honestly,

it's the money I got in school suspension once I spit on some guy Oh wow Wait you spit up wait so some guy Like No no School administrator teacher student

Yeah for what For a mouth and off Damn that's like a real like I feel like that's more disrespectful than punching somebody in the face Like to spit on somebody It's like you're a piece of shit I got to spend

Not you No no no I definitely was at the time I was seeing wild things in the theater I was sitting wild I got I got sent home only once and this is me and my friend

smoked up before class and the he smoked a little too much and he had put a little something on the top of it PCP had not to yeah really no this was

this was the other one you punched a hole through a cop car what are you some sweet cron dude Uh, opium. Oh. Wait, what? Yeah, yeah. Like, he had gotten it from his, like, cousin or something.

He was just like, here, just do it. So, like, we go to my first class. My, I'd be like, I didn't, I wasn't interrogating him at the time. I was like, oh, I'm going to get high. Cousins are terrible. That's some bad news right there. So we go to a math class. It's their first class.

I, like, red eyes to shit. Yeah, sure. And he is sleeping. Well, he's chasing the dragon, dude. Right, like, behind me. He's, like, sleeping on his desk. He's having some Sherlock home dreams. The math teacher.

He's in his mind palace. The math teacher was a bit of a wiseacre and you could just see him like he creeps up behind Brian the guy I'm with and he just slams on his desk as hard as he can Brian tilts over

and like drops into the desk next to him and then he's like go to principal's office and we were both like yeah we're both like we stunk of it like red eyes I'm pretty sure but I kind of think Brian could have been like

yeah he like fucked with me and like he had a bruise on his head after that should have turned that fucker in dude ruin his career yeah I guess so which is what it seems to be happening in this movie until other shit happens including sex

I was suspended only because it's Catholic school and you're not allowed to learn for free so anytime you fucking are delinquent in your bills which I was commonly they send you right home FYI until you fucking paid up I uh I guess all right we're doing the stories one time in school suspension one time

uh I like made the substitute teacher cry for some reason. I don't remember what was. I was being... Andrew. I was being a church. Everyone grows up. Everybody grows up.

We all have. But, yeah, so you find out that Neff Campbell does not like Kevin Bacon. I was shocked. I had to rewind because I guess I looked away during the opening credits. And I was like Matt Dillon, Matt Campbell, Denise Richards. Like, that makes sense. And I'm like, ooh, I guess Kevin Bacon gets the hammer. The end.

But it's Bill Murray. I'm like, is Kevin Bacon on? credit. No, I had to rewind because Kevin Bacon's first fucking build in this movie. Is that weird Tanny Party? That was incredibly weird. I mean, he's been around forever. Yeah, but it was just like, really? Like his character

in film? Exactly. I feel like, I mean, like, you know, Bill Murray gets the and because he's fucking Bill Murray. Sure. So once that's out of the equation, Kevin Bacon's the biggest star in the movie. Yeah. And plus, well, you get the with Robert Wagner, which I'm, that's a creaky head. With Robert Wagner. I would say,

I would say with Kevin Bacon and Bill Murray. Like kind of a thing that. Because the with is its own kind of, what do you call it? They're honorific in its own way. The with. Yeah, no, absolutely. Yeah. Fucking with Robert.

His tan gray-haired ass. He's kind of amazing in this movie, though. Yeah. He's got that piece of shit, but he's kind of fantastic. I don't think I'd ever see a total piece of shit. I'd never seen him like use profanity like this. Yeah. And he's going, he's leaning into the profanity.

I think he knew this was his opportunity to swear on screen. And it is fun to swear in general, but to have it put on film, I'd be like, fuck-de-fuck-fuck-fuck, motherfucks. Just to ease myself into it, I just have to be cursing all the time. Yeah, I'd be like, fuck you, fuck crafts, fuck all this shit. No, Crafts, you're here for me. Yeah, like, there's just some fun turns in this movie. You kind of feel like everybody's kind of game and kind of gets. What wavelength they need to be on, which is really great.

It's crucial for a movie like this because if the actors are like way too serious about it, like it's going to be a disaster because this is like a stupid. It's stupid and fun and sexy and disgusting. And if you're like, no, if you're doing like hard drama performance, not going to fly. Well, I mean, Matt Dillon must have loved this script. Like his agent must have been like, I got one for you, buddy. I got one. You are going to love this shit.

The first 15 minutes are just women ogling it. That's literally it. Oh, which can I just say, though, the first words in the film are Denise Richards character, Kelly. Like, the guy, I think, touches, I don't know if it was an ascot or Netflix or whatever. And she goes, fuck off. And I'm like, those are, what? Like, I was like, this is, like, amazing. If I made a film, the first word would be fucked too.

It should be, because it sets the tone for everything. You're like, oh, we're doing this in this movie, excellent. Matt Dillon's amazing in this movie, kind of. I think that he's also, same year, and he had a lot of heat, something about Mary. He's really good at something about Mary. Now I feel bad about talking shit about him the other week. He's fantastic. I mean, this was, I kind of, like, he had a little bit, like, I'm so pissed off that part of his Renaissance was crash.

Yes. Like it really did help with a swing. That was the crest. Yeah, yeah. What else did he get off of crash? Like he did that Henry Chinoosky movie that...

Oh, right. Not Bar-Flegged. Factotum. Factotum. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, the factotum. Yeah, that wasn't bad. But, like, and like...

When was one night at McCool's? I think that was after this. Oh, one. Yeah, that sounds right. It's also kind of like a pseudo-crumb, but it's more comedy, I think. I forgot who he was in a way, you know? Because, but, I mean, the house that Jack built's a lot of fun.

Yeah. But I forgot. Fun for the whole family. You should go see it in theaters in middle school. Listen, get your, if you're 14 or 15 listening to this, get your mom to rent it. Yeah, like, just watch a lot of shit that Eric tells you to watch because that's a great idea.

But I had remembered shit like one night at McCool's and stuff and crash and I was just like, oh, fuck this guy. And then you mean DePri to. I mean, but that's like, because he like, as a teen, like over the top, a rumble fish, uh, outsider. He was he was a, no, no, no, he was a brother who's in the blob remake. Oh, Kevin Dylan.

Kevin Dylan is a blob remake, which also. Kevin Dylan and Dale Close. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, he's, I mean, he plays this really well where he's like super scummy. Denise Richards asks for a ride home. And he's being the smart teacher because he's like, hey, the answer is always no.

A thousand. She's literally giving him fuck, fuck me over your car eyes. Yes. And she says, can I play? two or is it just for boys? Oh yeah. And I'm like, wait, should I use that line way bit? Wait, you're 27 going on

17. Okay. Yes. Yep. Well, that's a question I need. I need to know the age of Denise Richards' character. I need to know. I want to We find out. Do we do? Oh, do we? Okay. We find out. But like, late enough in the movie where I'm like, like, when they're doing the trial and the newscasters, right?

I'm pretty sure some, like the newscaster says, these 18 year old girl. And I was like, oh, this is your way out. of being like trash bags but it's like cover i think isn't there also some mention of like it's our final year or yeah there's senior year but you can be 17 or even no i know but like you you start laying the seed right there of like oh it's senior year so that's kind of a good sign we're adults legally so we can be fucked over the car by our guidance counselor i've never heard it referred to as this the the senior seminar i mean i mean that just something he says yeah we're halfway through our senior seminar i was like get out of here florida public school is

I mean, terrible. Is that what the auditorium thing is? Yeah, yeah. Like, we're just, is that like a health, that's like their health class or something? Oh, so that is what's going on at the moment. That's the seminar. They have speakers like Kevin Bacon to come and talk about something. Oh, okay.

I thought it was the school year itself. Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. Oh, I have no idea, though. Oh, I never attended school. I lied earlier. This is making more sense with every day. He got schooled at a very large garage, folks. That's right.

But, you know, Matt Dillon's like, no, no, no. Yeah, sure, I'll give you right home. Hey, Jimbo, you want to ride too? Yep, that's what you got to ask that fucking weird other kid. That's a haircut is so bad. Oh, it's an awful. But knowing the twists now is like that's set up to establish like, oh, he's been seen with her. Yeah.

Yeah. And so we get to see, I guess, like, her go home and then we meet her mom played by Teresa Russell, who's wearing lingerie and a robe that's open as she's on her balcony. And she's just like, hey, Matt Dillon. you want to fuck me she doesn't say that but she might as well she said I will pop this pussy

all around this mansion for you and then Denise Richards is of course like looking at her mom like you fucking bitch and it's like

you are having sexual competition with your daughter you really need to rethink some things girl it's the most awkward scene in the world because this is all happening

while smash mouse why can't we be friends it's just hiccuping in the back I thought it was hot. When Denise Richards gets in the car we're having a semi-charmed kind of life. Absolutely. Which, dude, that was like me getting hit by a car.

I did not remember that song, being in that movie, and I was like, oh, wow. And it's, we're trying to sell a soundtrack is what we're trying to do. Oh, and it's a rockin' late 90s soundtrack, man. But like, it is the one-to punch

of semi-charmed live by third-eye blind right into the cover of Wars. Why can't we be friends? And I was disgusted by that cover. Like, I had forgot that song existed. Smash mouth does not exist in my brain. And then, you know, that's why I'm like, people be like, oh, let's bring back the 90s. Let's bring back the early odds.

I'm like, no. Wait, hold on, but you're younger than us. So aren't you like a Shrek kid? You obsessed with Shrek? You know, I heard that everyone under. I don't like to be a fan girl on here too much. But the Shrek episode is definitely one of y'all's best episodes because it's funny and shit. And disgusting.

Yeah, it's so gross. Sure. Well. And it's also a gross. this movie but I remember you like guys sort of talking about that like oh this movie is probably for young like people even just a few years younger than us probably have more affinity for it I have always been disgusted by Shrek good for you and I was just like it's so strange because there's like people who are a titch younger than me who really like the second one I've noticed

and then it's like people like really like Shrek and I'm like very confused I'm like was I wrong Could I be wrong? No. No. The kids. We're into this swamp sex, the wild things. This is the kind of swamp sex I want to be watching. And they're into the Shrek sex on the small.

Hey, donkey. Never let the sun go down in an argument. Go make it with futer. The collat, the color, the color of your skin, no matter to me. Also fucking smash mouth. Yeah. That's why I brought up Shrek. It's Smash Mouth Central.

Oh, Shrek, we got to kidnap Kelly Van Rye. Dude, I was getting... The duck is ripping his teeth out with pliers. Oh, my God. Okay, Shrek, I'm going to put this gator under my chain. Let's do it. What the fuck was I going to say?

Oh, the thing with Kelly and her mom, I think, coincidentally, another Kelly, this reminded me of Kelly Taylor and her mom. Yes. A 90210,0, and like, this sexual competition that's going on there, which is definitely a thing. Since we're talking about Aaron Spelling, I have to say Donna. We have to say Dana, but I also want to say very specifically that her lover,

Teresa Russell's lover, looks like a Hispanic Andrew Shoe. And I've always thought that, like a sexy Latin Andrew Shoe. I see where you're going. I see where you're going, even though I don't 100% agree. But I see, I see. All right, that's fair. It's different than the eyes. Yeah, sure.

These are more sultry eyes. Yeah, there's more, there's a soul being. Yeah. It's not the blank. It's not the blank slate behind that. And I'll tell you what, this guy? What's his name? Like Panama Joe?

He's got some weird name. I could look it out. But that guy breathing through his nose. Oh, that's definite trade up from Andrew Shoe. Exclusively breathing through that. We have to mention now that we have a Patreon show on Melrose plays in 90210. If for the uninitiated. That's true.

On the blank slate himself. Which is a great fucking show as someone who has fondness for both shows. And someone in this. room that's not the four of us. We'll be on there very shortly. I wonder who is black and fabulous and also single. This isn't, I don't know why I think like making this into a dating site for me would work. Like, I don't think you want our audience.

Yeah, I just suddenly thought like, girl, maybe not. Have you been to a live show? No, no. I have been to a live show. And attractive people that go to our show. I know, I'm one of them. Yes, exactly. But you know what?

You're all beautiful listening, except for any. one commenting on YouTube. You're all beautiful. There are some dudes there that think those comments are getting through and those comments are like, how bad are they? Like, oh, well, we had a guy freaking out about, we made, what, basically what happens, we say anything political, they'll go and find a random YouTube episode and comment there with their grievance.

Well, guess what, motherfucks, I'm a commie bitch, like, good luck. There's a lot of stop to steal that listen. Well, congrats, guys. You almost did it. Almost better luck next time, which there definitely will be. So the ride home is one thing. Hang on a second. Wait, what is this dude's name?

Pool boy John. I could not find it in there. Oh, all right. I'm going to look it up. That's going to kill me. So the ride home is one thing. Yes. And like this happens in like high schools.

I would do a whole boy's high school so it did not. But you'll have that like car wash where, you know, the cheerleaders were washed the car. That's going to be in front of the school. You have to drive your fucking car there. Absolutely. You do not send cheerle. There's no personal service. No private appoint.

appointments man absolutely not probably the weirdest fucking things schools do it's just like all right on one day pedophilia is illegal you need at least the one mom who's kind of drunk there to supervise come on but also by the way wait is it called the perv can we call it thank you it's funny like you know I love this movie actually whatever but like I'm surprised there isn't like one nosy mom who's like gets whacked. Yes.

Somebody has to be taken out. You would think. Here it is. So the dude Eduardo Iñez playing Frankie Kondo. Oh. I knew it was a stupid name.

Like that's a fake name. Like if you meet someone and their ID says Frankie Kondo be like, oh, they're going to blackmail me. They're a con artist. Yep. It's a family annihilation situation.

This dude has killed before. Either that or he's going to get engaged to Anne Hathaway. Yeah. Man, she got scams, did she not? And I feel like it in Hathaway a lot. I just love that story. We don't talk about that enough.

The con artist. She married a con artist. She married a guy. That's awesome. Yeah, like a real deal fucking guy. Come on the show. No, I think he's in jail. It's totally.

Yeah, I think he is. Use your one phone call. It's just funny. There's certain gossip that gets really enmeshed in the culture. And then like everything with Jennifer, Lopez and Ben Affle coming back, at least for a very specific age group. It's like, what the fuck is happening? At least for me, I'm like, I'm like, ah, gossip.

Oh my God, I love it. Oh, my God. Thank you, celebrities. But, like, with Anne Hathaway and her con artist ex-husband, like, that's something that people have forgotten. And it's probably also because, like, certain stars are quieter. You know, it's like a lot of, a different mix of things, I guess. Italian color.

Yes, the pink panther. I know. All I kept thinking was like, girl, like, girl, what were the red flags? Yeah, yeah. What was it exactly that you ignored? Well, because he probably wasn't even Italian. One time, I was like, can I have a beer? I mean, I want the beer, please.

Definitely. What just happened there? And he was like, nothing. It was nothing. Yeah, yeah. I had a little bit of a cold. Yeah, yeah. My mother used to make gravy, you know, the brown stuff, the brown stuff.

Oh, no, no, the marinara. The Graven Marinera. I do. But so, yeah, I mean, you're asking for a wild thing situation. If you're sending cheerleaders to a teacher's house, a single male teacher's house, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, we're bouncy. Oh, my God. We're all wearing.

It's her and a friend, right? And, like, with some curly hair that we barely see and doesn't matter. But it's like, oh, we're both wearing white. Oh, oh, spring the house. with this I want it I know what I want Yes that's right

This big chunky Like because for every Like slinky Slaxophone sex Like yeah There's two morphine songs on this As if you needed to fucking Amp it up more

And then the other stuff Is big chunky guitar shit like this And why can't we be friends? I do love the I also love the two fat kids Playing basketball Oh my way These kids

They are talking about this car wash Of course they are rest of the summer. Are you kidding me? This was the summer. Those two kids. The mom is like, well, Jimmy and Tommy,

you never play basketball. We love it. We love basketball is great. I love being outside. They're fucking that ball. I don't know how, but they're figuring it out. A teenage boy,

a preteen boy like that, he will figure out how to fuck a basketball. Dribbling with an erection, is that like traveling or is that loud? I think it's fine. That's a fucking technical foul, dude. That's what that is.

Yeah, it just depends on how hard you're playing a defense. You want to lean off then, if that's the case. But so, like, Tori. Sorry, but do you think the friend in this situation, the friend of Kelly's here, is she can't be hip to what's going? She knows that she wants to fuck, right? She's like, go on a hag. Yes.

I'm staying here dripping wet. Are you sure? Okay, I guess I'll go to my 4-H club meeting. And it's like, oh, let me know how that dick be hanging girl. well they're going to another house afterwards they she's like going to go they're going to go soap up somewhere else but this one like wouldn't this lady be called like she was like go ahead yeah leave get out of here I'm going to go in and yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah a little yeah la la la la la la la the guy at the next house is calling the school there was supposed to be two cheerleaders here there's only one first of all they're already wet so

I'm not tipping anybody. You're sitting me used cheerleaders. I have two. Oh my God. I have two coupons. Two coupons here. And two coupons. But, I mean, also, like, this guy, Matt Dillon, Sam Lombardo, great name, by the way.

That and Ray Duquette. If I have an alternate identity, it might be Ray Duquette. I was like, first of all, what the fuck is his name? And then also, who thought that fit Kevin Bacon? Yeah. Ray-Ducat should be a fat guy. Yeah, Ray-Ducat sounds like a fat guy and he's eating his po-boys.

Celebrity chef. But you can't be showing a fat guy's dick. If you're asking John Goodman to be Ray Duquette and he has to show his penis coming out of the shower. I might be into that episode. I might be into it, but like, Super Troopers pulled that off with Farva there.

Also, have you ever seen seven? The film is seven. But those aren't supposed to be sexy. That's a dead fat guy penis. You know, we need fat dudes, dick, like, sexually portrayed. I'm into it, Eric, but I don't think you can sell it. That's my thing. I'm going to talk for the producers on this one.

Depends on how tasteful it is. See, that's why. How it's played. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why Mandalay pictures should still be around. Because here's the other thing. I've cackled seeing that, too. Oh, the tiger.

It's a time travel with that fucking tiger. But the, like, the music that plays over is so appropriate for it. You're about to watch wild things. Yes. It's like, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, da, da. Yeah. Yep. I love, all right, so, Angelica, you're, you're dating a man.

Because Barbara Baxter wakes up, they've had sex, probably. She stayed over. We don't know what happened last night. You're like, you have a plan. We were all assuming. You're dating somebody of brunch plans. You're about to leave. And the dude you're dating has two cheerleaders in his driveway.

Are you like just, I think I would have words. You might have words about that? Or I might hang out, right? Like, just, let's see what goes on here. Oh, you know what, honey? You know, maybe I'll cook some breakfast over here. How about that? And then I'd be looking like, what the fuck are you doing?

And then I'd be like, I don't really fuck with cops, but it'd be like, boop, boop, boo, boo. This motherfucker fucking some kids. Exactly. Because he's there. But it's presented as like he didn't really want it. Yeah. But it's also like, she just leaves like, well, I'll see you like. later, dude, bye.

Enjoy these two 17 to 8 year old girls in your driveway. But this is all part of the genius plan. It is. I mean, it is. It's fair. The genius inner workings and layers. Layers like an onion.

What would have happened if she was like, yeah, I'm going to stay for breakfast. Oh, sorry. I have to take a shit real quick, Sam. It will be a very long shit while these two girls are watching your car. That's how long it's going to be. I don't know what's going on Charizo last night, remember? Oh, come on.

Wow. But Kelly goes in, Barbara Baxter leaves, you know, blah, blah, blah. She goes in, we get a nice fade to black, which I like the fade to black. I like that this movie does keep you kind of guessing if you hadn't seen it before. Yes. And then it comes out, and then she runs out. This is Richard shot, though. This was like where the VHS tape was getting broken, I think, for a lot of folks initially.

All white, dripping wet. Because it starts with the floor and you're just seeing, like, the water dripping. It just goes up, and you're like, what's going on in this movie? And then the fade out happens. And then she comes out, like, something's torn. She's upset. The fat kids definitely see her playing basketball. Yeah, it's exactly.

There's a dude, like, doing some yard work, like, across the street. Like, hey, where's that cheerleader going? My car! Hey! And then this is when, like, basically, the plot gets initiated in which she stays someone from school, and she tells her mother that she was raped. Yeah. Well, we have to break down.

down the scene because, like, Denise Richards, who, yeah, her character's name is Kelly, but I'm going to say Denise Richards, which gorgeous woman. This, we'll talk about it when it needs to be talked about, but this was not just a bisexual awakening for me. It was a bisexual awakening for the friend I was hanging out before that. I was like, yeah, I have to finish watching wild things. And she was like, oh, yeah, that was a bisexual awakening for me. And I was like, yeah, me too, girl. I'm like, damn, we're the same age, right? But what's funny about that scene is that, I mean, Steve hit the major beats with it, but it's like she's shooting with a shotgun outside. Yeah, skeet shooting. Yeah. Because her mom was like fucking the dude and then

gets this call. Titties flying, um, holding her heels, like really riding this dick hard. She's like, God, damn. And she's cursing like a motherfucker. She's just like on this dick. Get a call from the school and it's like your son or daughter didn't attend school today or whatever and then she sees Denise Richards outside and then they go inside and Teresa Russell is in this film is a terrible mother because she says shit like they start talking about um the dead father slash husband and like Teresa Russell says it in such a weird way but she was like he didn't have to kill himself and I was just like okay and then like you know Denise Richards is feeling like in her emotions and crying and like, you know, she goes,

do you need a valium? And it's like, mom, like, I'm, what? When she says, I miss dad, Teresa Russell goes, Jesus Christ. Here we go again. And the suicide is pretty fresh. You find out at least a year and change. It was just that previous summer. Yeah, it was literally a few months ago.

And Teresa Russell was like, thank God. When she was saying, like, oh, we don't know why he did that. I'm like, all I could have thinking was, no, you killed him. I don't believe this about if I killed him. See, they've made now three sequels to this movie, but that is the pre- Wait, what? Oh, absolutely. Yep.

There's Wild Things 2, Wild Things 3, something. Different people, completely different. Different cast, but the characters are probably different, too. Everything's different. It's just teen sex sequels. Most of these plots are like, it's two high school girls. doing something or like two college girls doing something else but the

third sequel part four is definitely wild things colon the foursome or something like that and it's like one dude and three ladies and something goes down and then like wild things occur. Note to self watch list put that on there. I mean the second one

starts the same exact way as this one like literally the auditorium the whole thing. Really? Smash mouth is playing. Yeah there well no like a second rate like a tin heart I would wager that much like the Cruel Intentions series it just gets pornyer and pornier

It's got to be. It doesn't though. No, are you kidding me? The second one isn't that porny. It's like weirdly more reserved and it looks worse. Well, I'm sure it does. It's just, I mean, the actor, I mean, I think the actress from the in crowd is in it. That makes sense. Not great. Oh, that movie yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, great. Not good.

But yeah, so she reveals that, you know, San Lombardo raped me and that's when you see Sam Lombardo with the principal talking about, like just hanging out, talking about some barracuda fish. And a black principal. Of course. Surprise. Yes.

The administrative role. That's where a black actor's going to go. We didn't have a black police chief, so he had to be the principal. That's right. There might have been a nurse. She could have also been black. It's interesting, though, because we don't get like whoever the chief is. The closest is like the guy from scandal and isn't he in, is he part of the team in the

fugitive in U.S. Marshals? Possibly. Yeah. Yeah, he was just around. Yeah, big, big character actor. Yeah, he's the dude on scandal that's, like, cool with his husband being murdered in that whole thing. Yeah, everybody was a mess on that show.

Okay, with people getting murdered and then fucking a president that was terrible. I got through, like, four seasons of that show. Jeff Perry has really watched him. I never watched, like, I know what happened in the finale, but, like, I don't think I ever actually finish it. I think I've just watched it in, like, weird parts. Assassination? No, with, um, scandal. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Tony Goldwyn, assassinated or now? Wait, he was? No, that's what I was asking. Is that the finale? I was like, I don't remember that at all. No, probably not. No, I'm pretty sure no.

That whole relationship was a mess. But my friend, Lauren, and for people who are into really good culture writers, Lauren Michelle Jackson, she's an amazing human being. But she's currently watching that. And, like, I'll see her Instagram stories and kind of chuckle. And I was like, this show was fucking bomb. She's also watching The Good Wife, which I watched religiously when it was on air. Like, season five, hive, stand up.

Yo, that death was crazy. I love it. I love not spoiling it. Good for you. I mean, it's actually very, it's one of those kind of things that happens where I'm like, you know, like, it's not a show that's permeated the culture to the point where it'd be like you would know what I'm automatically what I'm talking. talking about, but, you know, I try, some people really don't like spoilers, so I try to be kind of nice. I appreciate it, yeah, we, we are a spoiler-free zone on this show.

Yeah, not really, but we're going to say, um, we do our bad for the movies we're talking yet. Sometimes we'll mention something and we'll get a comment I'll notice. Which is also like, you know, I'm being very polite with doing that, but it's also like if something's older than five years, especially, like, once you cross a student, you're and time threshold. It's like, you're going to hear spoilers about things. You're just walking, you know.

JFK gets shot and this is a pruder film. Sorry. Which is funny. Kevin Bacon has that Kennedy line. Or no, Matt Dillon has the Kennedy line where he's like, yeah, to Kevin Bacon. And I thought of you. This guy's got too much time on us hands.

Let him investigate the Kennedy assassination. But so, yeah, she basically pretty quickly, they start to investigate Matt Dillon. Like, what's going on? he raped this girl, but they don't arrest him right away. No, there's lots of investigating. And, like, I think directly after her telling her mom, you see her with the police. And they're asking questions.

It's really interesting how they make the Afro-Latina detective or, you know, the Latina detective, the mouthpiece for some interesting questions. Yes. Because she- That's how you can do this. she was like, did you try to fight him? And I was like, I was like, wait, what are we doing?

And then she's the one who, like the moment after like Denise Richards leaves and the, you know, the videotape is turned off. She's like, I think she's acting. And I'm like, oh, yeah, this is what we're doing. It's funny, I got to ask you guys. Like, this was in your, like, back of your head while you were watching it. But, like, watching how this movie handles rape, which I'm going to be honest, like, I really like this movie, but I'm also like, this is kind of like, this is kind of uncomfortable. This whole, like, oh, yeah, young girls using rape accusations and it's a form of power or whatever.

It sort of made me think about Gone Girl and how Amy Dunn is, like, uses the appeal. of certain patriarchal things we know fucking happens as a shield for being absolutely psychopathic, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's, I mean, it's, I got like strong SVU vibes where it's like, we're just, we're just asking questions and you know what? Some of these laws of some ladies lying, a man's life could be ruined. You know what I mean?

Which is like really, I mean, it's very pat and like, it's a, it's written by dudes. directed by dudes. It's obviously a dude's fear. You know what I mean? In big air quotes there. So it's like it's very much that perspective and the girls are in on it. It turns more into a neo-noir, but this part of the movie is very difficult in that regard. Yeah, it is like just a little like sticky but in an interesting way because you're also like so in the thick of it.

And it's like I remembered most of the major beats, but I was still like really captured by watching it. But, yeah, it's, but you're right, though. It's very much like, you know, where it, it just drives, it feels like those SVU episodes where it's like, this girl's lying. And it's like, you know, I mean, like, Angela, you already said it, but like it's difficult. And we were kind of talking about this on the history of violence episode we did.

Like, great episode. Oh, thank you. Oh, it's available on Patreon. Patreon. Dot com slash we hate movies. There it is. See, we didn't say it, folks. No, you can't complain.

It's so fucking refreshing, like, watching a movie for adults that's, like, difficult content. Yes, like, not everything, like, hits the correct mark that it should, but, like, it's okay. Like, I'm fine watching imperfect cinema. Me too. And, like, fucking cinema for adults. Yeah. Should be imperfect in a way, right? Yeah, totally.

And, like, it just. Morally speaking, I guess it's where I'm going to. Yeah. And, like, it doesn't exist in 2021. Like, movies coming out now. They're not like this. Yeah. But, no, you make a really good point.

I feel like this episode is kind of funny, though, in the sense that we're, like, having very high-minded talks about film, but also we're, like, making dick jokes. I love this podcast. That's our bread and butter, so, you know. But, like, it is sort of interesting the way I feel like films, and I'm talking specifically American films, Hollywood films. Yeah.

Want to be very morally absolute. And, like, there's not enough or anything. any gray areas and like the missteps are like not interesting for the work they're more like in the heights um we're taking place in washington heights but we're not going to have a lot of negroes in this movie and it's like wait yeah you all know how dominicans be looking you know they're black right speaking a witch though this this detective is definitely reuben vega yeah she's really pretty by the way i was just like looking at her and i was like this is a really pretty woman um her character is just like we were saying it's just a funny mouthpiece more than

anything else she has to be the one that's like i don't know guys you can easily i mean aside from the scene where like mad villain's like kind of fake coming onto her in the hotel room like aside from that if you replaced her with the dude like no difference the same character yeah not much of a difference and it's just like like like sis do you hear yourself like like Like, like, I'm, I just kept waiting for her to say, oh, these white bitch is lying. Like, what? That would be at least something if she went there. Like, I don't know about this little white bitch.

Like, that would be at least something. You know what? All right. You know, cool. That would have been real character. Yeah. So she, whatever, um, we're investigating. And then, um, obviously, um, the principal says you need to get yourself a good lawyer.

Enter Bill Murray. This is like pre-Rushmore or Rushmore is right around here. It's pre-Rushmore. Is it the same year? Yeah, I think you might be right. Is it Rushmore 99? You might be right. Yeah, I think.

I don't know. Rushmore is 98. Oh, right. What? Points, right? You know what you know? The points have been taken away from you. But this is a good, like, Murray performance.

He's really fun and funny. He's very needed in this movie, I think. Yeah, and great little details, like, with the fake neck brace and he, like, takes it off after looking at the window. And he's like, oh, yeah. there was some insurance motherfuck Oh god It's so like you want the sort of like

If we were in like the golden age of DVDs Right like you want the Bado bono panop don't Like you get like a side Bill Murray like 45 to 65 minute Like bonus movie absolutely Also television show spinoff where it's just him And his fucking law firm

It's called better called Saul Yeah no I know But like Bill Murray Doesn't exist yeah I mean it's interesting because, like, he gets to Bill Murray around this movie, but it's like, it's not a movie where you would find that Bill Murrayness, and that's why it's fucking genius casting.

I like the moment later in the film when they come in to do the settlement with Matt Dillon, they're looking around the office, and, like, he's got all these photos of people also in neck braces, like this weird ambulance chaser law firm. And they're all, like, autographs, like they're celebrities.

It's really weird. It's really funny. I have a note. in here that just says that raccoon, L.O.L. What the fuck is that? Dude, yes. Where's that? It's, oh, fuck. I don't remember the raccoon's like watching them fuck on it. Yes. Yes. The raccoon goes, hey girl, did you just see that? You for that? I think it's during, is it, isn't, is it not when they're getting it on in the pool?

Oh, okay. Because it's Kevin Bacon filming and then there's like another animal and it cuts to this raccoon that is straight out of Ace Ventura. He's just like, wow, look at that. I was just like, why did they do a, raccoon reaction shot or was the raccoon when Matt Dillon that's run off the road? Yes. Okay, that makes it where it is? Really? Why do I?

Oh, see, this is why don't smoke wheat here. You know, it's probably in more scenes, right? It's probably got dialogue. It's like Caddy Shack all this. I want to find it. What was I say you're to Google the raccoon? Is that raccoon? Yes.

See what else he was in? Is it like the great outdoors? Is it going to have the subtitles for all the fucking raccoon? I love that show. It's so good. Steve, I do have a note that says runoff road, beaten raccoon watches. I think that's right.

Yeah, I think the raccoon's like, because he basically, basically like everything's kind of whatever Gloria Van Ryan is going after him. She's got her sexy man boy that's going to get him. Are you okay? Are you okay? Uh, uh, starts punching him. It's like, wait, what? Like, what's, what's this play acting? Just start punching him.

And I mean, which, I mean, obviously the whiplash alone would be bad. I know. I know, like, shouldn't he actually have a neck brace? Yes, you should. Yeah, so here it is. You get, everyone's totally right. I found my note. Dylan getting beat up by Mr.

Condo line, raccoon from Ace Ventura makes an appearance. That guys get me's asking. I saw everything. Bill Murray calls the raccoon. He's going to take the stand. You see everybody? They're disgusting, dude. Do you ever see him, like, eat?

Their little hands. You've got like people hands. It's nasty. They're cute. I think they're kind of adorable. Oh, we're out, though. Well, no, because here's the thing. It's like, you know the people who really think they're cute?

The dudes, you see like a TikTok video or some shit on YouTube where it's like, look at all my cool raccoons. And it's like 40 raccoons in some dude's garage. And they're all eating pellets out of a kitty pool. Yes. Yes. It's a pellets thing. Or them, like, if you have like one of those, like, cats who's somewhat outdoors or feral that you take care of

and you have cat food. Like those were, my mom was like, okay, people are going to be like, who came up with this name? And it was me. But my mom has an outdoor cat named Rasputin, aka Raz. I like that. I love that. And, like, he was fighting with a fucking raccoon the other day.

And my mom was like, it just sounded so nasty. But I think Raz won, because Raz is like, apparently a very scary cat. Like, the kind of intense cat is who's good to, like, kill shit around. So is the raccoon, you think the raccoon was aligned with the czar or? That's what I was thinking and... Zaris. Whenever I think of, like, Rasputin, though, because of my age, I think of Anastasia, the cartoon movie.

Which I think might have been also 1998. It was round that. A lot of shit came out in 1998. I think ever after came out in 1990s. Godzilla, the Roan Nemer movie. Great year. Come with me. Yes.

97 Anastasia FYI. Oh, okay. Sorry, everybody. But so, like, yeah, he gets beaten up, so he goes to Bill Murray and he's like, listen, they're trying to ruin my life, et cetera, et cetera. We get a shot of his own Matt Dillon's house. Yeah. And also his office, like, I know that

he wants $8 million, but his life is pretty... Eight and a half. A million dollars. His life is kind of nice. It's kind of sick. And he's living his life, like, like taking care of boats and shit and also being at the school. But apparently there's a line that like he's up to his eyeballs and debt.

Yeah, exactly. Because I mean, his office is this real cool nautical theme. It's really big. I think the line from Kevin Bacon explains it because like the woman that he's like with currently is Robert Wagner's daughter. And it's like, so he's been like burning

through money. Yeah. Pretending he can like run with like high society. Yeah. Yeah. And then I think there's also something mentioned like he wanted to marry Rich. Right, right, right. Which is like, it's funny because you don't really see much of that.

Like, they don't really show much of that. We just hear it. Yeah. But it's like, that could have been a movie in and of itself, him swindling these women. Also, if it's not working out in this one Florida town, go to another one. Yeah. There's a lot. Florida's big, baby.

Yeah. But he looks back to Lina-198, dude, you could find somebody. Wait, do you guys find him attractive? I think he's a good-looking, right? Yeah. He's got a little, a little, it's a little. It's a little bit of a caveman forehead situation. Yes.

Yeah. He looks half broken in a way, but not as much as I do. It's an edgy good looking, I think, is the idea. Some beer fell, y'all. Oh, it's all. Do do, do, do, do, do. Okay, beer is picked up. There's something primitive about him, and that excites me.

I think, you know, he's not, like, ugly. He just doesn't get my motor. Yeah, I mean, I'm not taking my pants off, but I'll say, like, yeah, he's a good enough looking guy. Him and singles, dude, like in 1992, he was a guy. Matt Dillon look out. Oh, with the hair, yeah. It's great. It's great.

But so, like, he's, like, trying to, you know, build this case and, like, Bill Murray's like, like, but there's nothing else that's going to show up, right? And that's when Neff Campbell really comes into this movie as the Susie character. They go, this is when you get one of the great alligator wrestling scene, which I love. I really do like it. It's kind of cool. Do you ever take one of those, you're from Louisiana. Did you ever take one of those, I was a tourist, one of those swamp tours with,

where you're beating the alligators? I think once as a kid. Okay. Like when you're just like living by a swamp, it's kind of like, I don't want to do that. Do you all realize how like big the mosquitoes are in fucking Louisiana? Like,

they can pick you up and take you away. They're huge. I wouldn't do that. But like, yeah, so Neff Campbell is reading a book, by the way, called Death on the Installment Plan.

Mm-hmm. And she's like had called the cops and, you know, doing her whole Neff Campbell, I'm an angsty goth bitch. thing and like you know she I need to go outside and she's like going to smoke her cigarette and then they end up she ends up

saying that she was raped but the the lady cop ask questions like did you flirt with him a little like you know it's not the right questions for a child as well like a 17 18 year old girl you know were you flirt with your teacher or what yeah she's like

Teresa Russell get out of the room isn't that her call Yeah, exactly. That was weird, too. I'm like, is that legal? Yeah, I don't think that's good. I mean, I guess if she's 18. Oh, yeah, that's right.

18. Right, I mean, we're on Pornhub now and everyone's 18. Yeah, sure. Not any of these step siblings in this movie. No, step siblings. No, thank God on that one. Disappointing. But so, yeah, she reveals, and this is when she says,

no little bitch could ever make me come, not no little girl. So it's kind of a thing where, like, they're smartly doing it. we're like, oh, I got one word wrong. So maybe it sounds like whatever kind of a thing. That's also, it's a very SVU. Yes. Like, I'm just picturing like iced tea, analyze audio or something. I mean, it's, yes, yeah.

A lot of this feels kind of SUV-ish. Man, those Law and Order shows, I don't know if anyone, did any of you guys actually watch the new Chris Maloney show? I could have. First episode. I watched two and a half. Uh-huh. Which isn't that much more now that I'm saying it out of out.

But. what the fuck is going on with that shit that shit was just like like incomprehensibly bad and like really weird with race I was like what the fuck is going on wait you know which actor is it

because I always get them mixed up Is it Dermott? Dillon McDermottie? Dylan McDermott Dylan McDermott Yeah and he's like married to a black woman

and his ex-wife was a black woman and like his father says some shit like or like somebody says some shit like oh he was trying to piss off his racist daddy and that's why he'd be fucking black women i'm like what the fuck is going on in this show it's very weird also like on top of all that they broke the formula yeah it's called law and order whatever the fuck mafia division organized crime i think yeah but but it doesn't there's no dung-dung oh come on it's not shot like a law order what am i doing it feels weird it just feels really strange but Olivia Benson has shown up and like she has there was a scene I think

I'm so cross-fated right now and I have so much left to do tonight y'all pray for this bitch let me go drink some water but like I think he confesses his love to her and like his children are around and it cuts to all and I was like what the fuck is it's a weird like because also the other thing is like he's a free agent in this show because the wife is murdered in the pilot. Yeah, he's trying to solve her murder inadvertent, like, sort of with the mafia shit. Because it's one of those, like, he's been in Italy

like dealing with the mafia. Which is funny in and of itself. That's the show I kind of want is like, you know, he's just over there. On a gondola hit people? Yeah, I'm imagining him his ass cheeks pop and some shades on just standing in the gondola. He guest

stars in an episode of Gimora. There you go. I could never watch Law & Order in general just because I'm just like, God, lay off these criminals people. No, it's terrible. It's just like it's the oppressive hand of the state. Oh, that's fun. Let me turn that on. The Orbach-Waterson years

are like, that's, I watch it for Orbach and Watersden's. And if you mute for the criminals, it's kind of fun, actually. But you're just like, oh, do the ask for a lawyer? Good move, man. Do they get away? Some of them, yeah. Some of them do. It's a 30% success rate for the criminals. Depends on what level

of celebrity you are. And like, at the end of the episode, Sam Waters is like, can't believe they beat us. I'm like, yeah, motherfucker eat shit. Yeah, because it's like the prison system. Let's end that shit. Let's end all this shit. Like, come on, y'all.

So you guys are going to hear a crinkling of plastic because I'm going to eat an edible. That sounds a good idea. Lollipop. Put it into the mic. There we go. Oh, no, we're into ASMR. Usually it's a beer crack. This is different. Speaking of which, give me that bottle over you go while we're doing this.

Where were we in this movie? So, we were... So Neve Campbell is just also... Oh, yeah. So we're getting into the court. Now's the trial. Yes, court case. Can I say, one thing that I think is rad

about the way that this movie is constructed is that, like, it eliminates certain scenes that, like, would be in the story were at another movie. Like, you never see Matt Dillon get arrested. No. Like, it just cuts, and, like, he's in,

like, the prison clothes, the jail closed, or whatever. Lou, it's like a periwinkle. Yeah, it's a pretty... nice prison outfit, I have to say. So it's kind of great like that. Like his, there's another cut before that where it just jumps ahead and he's like, now my life's ruined. But you never see like any of that.

You never, like, there's the hilarious, like, someone throws a paper plane through his office window and it's like, he's a sex criminal doodle that's on it. That's how he finds out. And then it's like, cut, now my life has been destroyed. You don't have the scenes of like, there's no montage of like, oh my gosh, yeah, what happened about telling me? Yeah, like him walking down the, you know, the hallway in high school and, like, there's whispering and it's low-moat. Oh, I'm just thinking of the craft.

But Mev Campbell is, like, walking straight off the craft thing, like, in this movie. Like, same, uh, it literally was like, do-to-do, lipstick, lipstick, lipstick, okay, okay, hair, okay, let's go. Like, she really was. Also, the craft. Oh, my God. I, like, y'all know I love them. recently rewatched it the Casa de Jupin

fucking great-ass movie It's like I fucking love it I was just the perfect I mean I have pinnacle fucking earrings right now Like I do that with shit Thank you

Are those glow in the dark No but wouldn't that be fabulous It looks like it's like glow in the dark material a little bit Yeah it kind of does Like white gray Yeah But like

The craft man that hit a sweet spot Like the I think the 90s in American cinema was just super fucking fascinating. A lot of corners. There's no corners anymore. You know what I mean? It's all just Broadway.

You know what I mean? There's no alleyways. There's no corners. We should do the craft sometime. We should. I would love to do the craft because, like, I mean, I'm obsessed with Farooza Balc and Rachel She got a raw deal, I feel. Yeah.

Ferruza and Balc, I think, has some of the most fascinating energy on screen I've seen in the last few decades like there's you know i say this all the time lately because it's so fucking true but we do not have stars anymore and but what's interesting sometimes is to see the people who probably could have been you know but because of like they weren't playing by Hollywood rules or they didn't look exactly the way they needed to by Hollywood standards but for rusa bog had just like really interesting magnetic energy to me and just like she's fucking intense and like Like, that smile of hers is so, like, devastating. It's, she looked like devious as fuck, though, which is great.

Oh, my God. And, oh, I'm getting, like, a lady boner over cinema right now. Excellent. Let me ask you this. Did you check out that? I mean, it's not, it's like a continuation. It's not like a sequel. The show.

That crap. No, not the show. No, it was a movie. Yeah. Did you watch that? I couldn't even finish it. It was kind of boring. There's a sequel to the craft.

It came out like last year. Yeah, yeah, it's with younger, it's funny because, like, like, it's funny because, like, some real witches were, like, consultants on the movie that I know, like, including the witch who does the podcast, The Witch Wave, which is a really, if you're interested in paganism and, like, weird goth shit as well, like, that's, like, kind of the perfect podcast for you.

Because she interviews a lot of really interesting people. I think she may have actually interviewed Rachel True from the craft. Oh, really? Yeah, because she does tarot shit and, like, it's, I think, sort of weirdly plugged into that scene. Some of the actors from the first movie return, though. Yes, they do. But, again, when I say I barely watched any of this movie, I was like, I was like, oh, yeah, this isn't for me. And that's okay.

I'm not going to watch this. So the motion picture, wild thing. Sure. There is a court case where Bill Murray is like trying, you know, he leans on Denise Richards. I do love what Denise Richard says that Sam Lombardo rate me on the floor of his shitty house. His shitty house. I was like, it's pretty nice house. I don't know.

But she's this rich white girl piece of shit. And that's why it rings of truth for everyone in that courtroom because I'm like, oh my God, it must be a shitty house. They were like, ooh, ah, ooh. Objection, Your Honor, the house is pretty nice. It does have a pool. Objection. It does. I mean, most people have pools.

Oh, right. It's fucking Florida. That's right. But then Nev Camel gets on the stand and Bill Murray tears her down. It turns out that she's been, she always calls Sam Lombardo when she's in trouble and she did even after the alleged rape happened. So it's like, ah, we got you. And then she breaks on the stand. and I love her

throws the fucking Right She says it's not even Wasn't even her idea Kelly put everyone up to Yes I love the judge You fucking bitch

I love the judge Speaking of fucking bitch The judge Who has no time For profanity In the court Yeah It's kind of great

She's like She's got a little Like back and forth With Nev Campbell About like swearing on the stand and shit But also this this This prosecutor is terrible

Because Bill Murray just keeps like Feeding her this information He doesn't object until She's finally like By the way I've been lying the whole time. You got object earlier,

motherfucker? Yeah, he's like, oh, what about all that badgering that was just happening? He's got like a fucking great, like, Midwest when the badgering first occurs, my friend, objection badger in the women. Object this how. I'm objecting this hell. That's what they say, right? Yes. But because he's like asking her, like, did

Lombardo rape you? And then she's like, give me a sec. Give me a goddamn minute. And I was just like, okay, girl. I was like, this is so great. This is like so fucking ridiculous. And it's just like, I'm a little goth girl and I'm just looking at my hands

and I'm so awkward I can't do it. And then yeah, then she spills the beans and gets a glass thrown like a miss. Afterwards, we're all in on it together. I'm like,

Yo, Kelly, that could have got me, man. I mean, maybe that's why that slap bite happened. We'll get to that. Yeah, because it's like this was choreograph like to a T. There is no room for improv in this scam. You can't be

throwing shit at me. But you gotta make it look convincing, right? You fucking cunt! Yes. Like, I think Cuck was said at least once in this case. Yeah, there's one.

It's dropped in the motion picture. I have loved Bobby Wagner trying to get a word and just like, excuse me, judge. I am a rich person and I would like to have my words said here, get the fuck back. It turns a catty shack for three minutes,

and it rules. I like thought that was so fucking funny. I was like, you fucking rich. white people are so entitled you think you can just like stand up and start talking and like someone would like yeah ah yes he is a rich white man we've got to your honor i'm also a lawyer excuse me any lawyer can participate in lawyering right so basically the the charges get thrown out and now he has a sick civil suit against them which they settle immediately kind of a thing and i love bill murray they're driving over the bay or whatever and he's giving the fucking finger out the car window

at them in the limo oh it's great because it's a great juxtaposition like their limo and they're all fighting in the fucking limo and everything and Bill Murray is driving this like shitbox car and he's just giving the finger totally great but Matt Dillon does good job of like fake bad acting of like

I guess my life is ruined now and I mean like you know as an actor he's doing it the right way it's like it's bad like he's just like I guess I'll never teach again I lost my house where am I going to stay tonight? Maybe that fleabag motel with two high school girls.

I know. Exactly. I guess that'll have to do. Well, it's interesting. Like, I would love to know, like, what was filmed when, right? Because very few movies are filmed chronologically. But, like, one of the things the trivia will tell you is that, like, some of the actors in the movie were having trouble with all the twists and turns because they didn't know, like,

what they should be thinking and how they were supposed to, like, express certain things. because it was like, what do I know and when do I know it? Yeah. So there was a lot of that confusion going on. So actually Matt Dillon's performance here could not, it's potentially a thing where it's not as calculated as you think it is. He's legitimately confused as to what he's going to. That makes sense.

It works. My favorite thing is Bill Murray wiping his body with this legal brief. You feel like this is a club? It's Bill Murray taking it for a walk right here. He's wiping his ass and it's all over his crotch. Yes. This is my favorite flavor of Bill Murray. On the side, not quite.

the spotlight, but just on like Rushmore era, like this kind of stuff. Well, that's the thing is Rushmore led to him being the lead and I'm like, nah, dude, just be like, it gets a little tough. Be the spice of the chili. That's like, everyone's like, ooh, this is delicious. Only with Jim Jarmish. Yeah. Then it works. Almost anywhere else.

I don't know. It didn't work with the man who knew too little. Remember that one? Oh, yeah. No one does. Barely. Exactly. Was that this year too? I feel like that was around this. I think that was a little. That was not 2021, Chris.

I apologize. I know it's been a long pandemic. It has, though. But it's definitely 90s, though. Yeah. But so, like, basically, like, he gets this big, fat check, and he goes back, and this is when the movie turns, and every 14-year-old in the audience, which at least was two, their eyes break up because it's the threesome scene where...

Oh, baby. We got to break it all down. We do, because it's just Matt Dillon. You still think he's a good guy, in quotation mark. and then Kelly has like something that could be a gun but uh-oh it's a champagne bottle pop that champagne and pop in other things it's kind of great because I can I tell you right now this happened with so it happened actually with the history of violence it was a movie that I had not rewatched it in however long sure so I totally forgot what happened in it and I

forgot what happened in this movie also so like so much of this rewatch I had last night was me experiencing it like for the first time almost I like when Because she's in the hotel room It's a motel Yeah And like you see her Aggressively a motel Yeah

And you see her Like she's in like a mirror Or something like that And you're like holy fuck You know And then she comes out And she's got It's under a towel

And I'm like oh shit She's got to fucking ice this dude And then it's like Whop champagne And literally in my living room I was like whoa look at that Wow what a twist My favorite part of this

So like they started having a three of yes, one, Neff Campbell reveals herself, he does put the underwear in the pocket that tells you everything you need to know about this white underwear and like you see like she's wearing like Mary James or something and it's like y'all we're really pushing in with

well his line anybody ever call the line right here at the Scuds factor he goes guidance counselors get to find out all sorts of interesting things while his face is in front of her crotch and you're just like good gravy this is a movie we got on their hands now folks and Neff Campbell and Denise Richards make out and like once there's a lot of

Denise Richards nudity here we're putting champagne on the breasts yep and but let me just say her tits are beautiful I'm like I would I would just have my tits out too I mean I already do that anyway actually but I was just like you know what you're a beautiful fucking woman Denise she just Absolutely. Those lips? I was like, damn. How about that pool scene? We'll get to that.

I, like, had to pause for a second. I was like, oh, this is like hottest shit. See, everybody's pausing this movie. You acted like I was a scumbag, Steve. I paused it, and I watched it like right before. I think as a 14-year-old was yelling up to the projection booth. Hey, pause it. We take that back.

We're going to run it again. Run that reel again. Oh, yeah. But it's awesome because my favorite part, is what Matt Dillon, while three-somes really in swing, he just goes, yeah.

Yes. It's just like, such a good move. And I think that that's what make this movie great. It's like, yeah, it's sexy,

but like he makes it so uncomfortably scuzzy. Dude, because he's like kind of narrating some of the action because he's like, all right, and now I want both of you to kiss each other. And I'm like,

yeah, man, it's playing out the way it's going to play out. We don't need the fucking. and play by play, you know. Yeah, I kind of wanted to see more of the the guy that you don't see

a day. He's more like, he's keeping a cool for most of the other, but that's just a little window in there. The champagne really kind of take it to a whole other level though. It's a classic act like have you been there before, dude. Like, you know what I mean? Like, you're going to take everyone out of the threesome.

Like, oh, what did you just you know what, I'm going to put my shirt back on? That was. Yeah, I mean, imagine someone you're fucking doing that I would I would leave Like all of a sudden He starts making noises

Like Christian bail In American cycles Yeah Yeah exactly That's why he can't He can't come Because he ruined the moment And they're like stop

No he's all There's a baseball game And the Marlins hit a double He went yeah Yeah All or nothing days Whatever man like the movie continues on

and you kind of realize now that they're in it they have to like pretend that they hate each other still kind of a thing even and he's like we can't you know this is the one I'm allowing one threesome ladies and gentlemen and then we're all going home

and like then this is when Kevin Bacon comes into the movie hard and he's like by the bad bad phrasing but you know when we do see him he's soft as hell and if that's what it looks like soft as hell hey Kira Sedgwick I get it must be fun

This is where we get the line of that he wanted to marry rich And it didn't work out And then we get the pool scene And what my note says is a tit bath Yes, because I mean So like It's right there I saw it is

I believe you I want to say that I believe you Before 1030 in the morning today I love that I'm not in math future I'm not checking your work dude And I wrote down Titbath But it is

It does happen, yeah, so basically, whatever. I think Kevin Bacon goes to Denise, to Neff Campbell to intimidate her, and she's like, smoking pot, whatever. She gets really nervous. It goes to only Denise Richards, and this is the... Did you see that creepy doll, though, in the corner? I did, yes. What the fuck is going on on her porch?

I was like, what the fuck is that? I cost it, and I was like, wait, is this, like, really here? Like, this weird doll had some drawings on its face. She's hanging out with Annabelle. That's a whole other fucking movie. Again, this movie is so rich. You can imagine so many different avenues. Steve, you have the VHS of this.

I do, yes. So is there tracking errors all over it? And there's there tracking errors around the doll. The people try to investigate the doll. I did not watch the VHS copy because I wanted to actually revisit this movie. You wanted to see it in. Inactually. Yeah, for the way Steve McNaughton intended it to be seen.

Jonathan McNoughton. Oh, Jonathan McNoughty. Jonathan McNoughty. naughty. But we have to, yeah, we have to talk about the tit bath. And I think, I think, like, I love that tit bath. Because I really was thinking, like, because, you know, it ends up, you know, they talk on the phone with Matt Dillon's character. And he, like, you know, tells them you just got to continue to play the game, calm down, da-da, hangs up on them. And eventually, Neff Campbell slaps Denise Richards. And Denise Richards, I think, calls her. I think it's, you stupid cunt are the exact words. And, like, she puts her head down in the pool and they just start fighting. But it's funny, like, when her head is, like, when Denise Richards is pressing Neff Campbell's head down into the pool,

her tits are also, like, bouncing up and down in the water. And it's like, and, like, she wears lots of sheer clothing. And it's like, y'all are really getting all the bang for your buck. There are three, her next three scenes in a row are all in bathing. suits. Because Kevin Bacon gets her at some other pool and she's like, I don't know what you're talking about, detective. And then he's like filming those? Yes. Dude, yeah, he's pulling a

fucking groundskeeper Willie in the pushes reporting all this. See, this is interesting, Eric, because in this scene, you wrote down Titbeth as a note. I wrote down, what's the deal with Denise Richards big portable phone shit? You see this portable phone? It's a pool phone, my friend. I think that's why

that's a handle. You can fucking dip that shit right in the water. You can talk on the phone underwater. Kevin Bacon does have one good line. around the tit bath when she gets merges from the when she emerges from the bat titzum he says nice stroke oh yes talking to the audience the movie does that a couple of times where it's like the characters don't acknowledge that it's like a sexual innuendo but it's like it's movies for guys who like movies a little bit just a tiny bit that's a specific genre you know i know that because of some men I've taken.

The Spike TV contention. But it's kind of great. Ew, not that bad. I love that Kevin Bacon goes. No, those are my Deadpool boys.

Yeah, they would make you, the listener in the show would make you watch the, like a vintage tape of the Spike movie awards. Oh, man.

Remember that shit? They were actually trying to be like an MTV. I didn't get owned by that, right? So whatever. Yeah, it's all via. I don't remember that.

I don't remember that. They had an award ceremony. They had a lot of original programming. It was wild. You know how I know? Because I remember once watching, I'm pretty sure it was Spike TV awards. And they gave an award for like Fight Club for like some reason. Like, oh, like best movie of all time.

The credit card company. I don't know. And I remember Brad Pitt and Edward Norton coming out. And I was like. They fucking turned out for that award. I was like, I'm pretty sure it was Spy TV. Or one of those. like really random networks.

I remember being like, did you guys just want to go out for drinks? Oh, like, it's actually, the bar is right near the award show. Let's just go there. It was just fucking weird. I feel if it's like it's Pitt and Norton and they're like, oh, we got,

we're going to win this fucking dumbass thing. How hilarious will it be to just go and accept this stupid nothing award? I bet you $1,000. And then they got a great dinner afterwards. Oh, yeah. Yep. Absolutely.

Probably some good drugs. Oh, definitely. Brad Pitt's bringing that good weed guaranteed. So, like, this is when his detective chief is like, stop filming two girls that are barely 18 making out. Could I stop breaking on the compounds. Dude, this dude freaking out. Because he's watching it at work. Yes, exactly.

I love the freak out trying to get the fucking VCR to turn off. It so reminded me of a, there was a field trip situation in high school where it was like, you're putting the VHS tapes into, you know, and then the bus is playing whatever the fuck. Yeah. And it was like, whatever recorded on. you know, Fox playing some movie accidental pornography slip happened. Oh, that's a problem. You just saw this teacher fucking jump up.

No. Like pressing the stop button. There was pornography on a bus field trip ride. It was fucking great. Absolutely great. School. But so more and more happens. This is when...

Oh, wow. The movie's over. Neff Campbell gets killed here, sort of. they're like okay i guess we have to like wait great thing because after the taping happens and he's getting yelled at at work this is where kevin dylan or matt dylan is at the police station and it's the it's the matt dylan kevin bacon fucking yell off yeah and he called cocksucker yeah dude Kevin bacon getting called a fucking piece of shit by matt dillon while Dylan is like already down the hallway yeah when wins this argument so hard it is the

funny's, oh yeah, well, can you say that to my face? I think he kind of did. He literally was in your face, bitch. He was looking right at you. It's up to you at that point. He said it to your face, dude. So you got to be about that life or be about that life? But you're a cop.

So, I mean, you're already beating people up as we figure out and do other things. Oh, absolutely. But you got this fucking beat cop, like just officer in uniform dudes standing there and he's like, the fuck you looking at? Yeah, Kevin Bacon. And then we get to Sam Lombardo beating Neff Campbell to death with the champagne bottle. Yep, yeah. There's a better way to kill somebody.

Oh, a much better way. And Neff Campbell is like drunk acting during this period. And there's like that point of view shot where it's like she's looking at the stars and they're all like blurry. And then we're doing some weird stuff with the camera there. Yeah, I thought that was an interesting choice. I was like, why are point? point of view shot. Okay, I guess we're doing that. I love the shot of

the bottle. That's a really, really specific shot. And the splash of blood right after it, which is obviously like that couldn't happen, but it's cool to look at. It's one of like the few images that are really striked. Like one of my bigger problems with the, I don't think it's particularly well directed. Yeah, I agree. But that is one moment. Those like flourishes though. Because even with the star is like it's cheap or whatever, but it's like it's something.

Yeah. And even, because like this level of these kinds of movies you don't get those flourishes like really at all so I'll take anything I can get with the stars I was like well look at that but you're doing something

but then the bottle and the splurt the spread happens right after it was just very graphic and dynamic visually and then we get this whole like we're burying the body in the swamp

but who's this for who's this show for I think it's to fool Denise Richards is it not oh I guess so she's not in on the in on it which is this is what it gets to I'm getting confused of

who's in of the hit who's in and who's out so did they switch a body out well that's a question because you never see drive like a fast and furious movie oh you know what it happens here's what happened he gets to the swamp he brings nev campbell into the swamp yes and says get the fuck out of yeah exactly then he goes back and it's like it's done yeah that's exactly what it is yeah yeah yeah and then she's like oh my mom's gonna be mad i took the range that is such a great line i was like we see where your priorities are it's so awesome though that that's what she says because it really yeah i mean it's just like that is that character

and we get DNA off of it later of nev campbell's blood or whatever to confirm this whole and some teeth which are at the beach we find teeth at the beach dude beach teeth teeth teeth there's a new indie rocks and say something totally dude coming soon for merge records no someone says that this beach has another name which did anyone catch it stoner stoner beach oh it's the fuck yeah dude that's what the stoner is go that's the place in Florida where they go to smoke weed. They found it. It's near our hillbilly friend, Walter

or whatever, who, I just love this check-in with this guy who had, he finds dentures in the garbage. I wanted to throw up. I want to throw right up. He's trying to fit them in his mouth and he's like, oh, this is going to be perfect. Dude, and then to make them fit, he's like shaving

hard of Italy. Yeah, I'll get it to work. He's like her, Neff Campbell's mother's boyfriend or whatever is going on. I thought it was like a, yeah, like a developmentally disabled. They kind of lean into like

the he's maybe like disabled at the front of the movie. And then at the end he says and by the end of it it's no they totally give up on that which is weird because he's like given information I think to Kevin Bacon and it's like he's not the same character he was at the beginning of the movie. Walter rules. He fights some alligators. It's cool.

That's cool thing you do man. Now we're getting into the major motion of the film right. Like Kevin Bacon goes to Sidney's Richards. Yes, and shoots her in the chest. He breaks up, he goes on to a cop. The cops are like, don't follow this case. Like, got it.

Let me just go and shoot a girl in the chest twice. And I'll not, as I'm a cop, I won't go to jail. But again, it's like, it's all part of the plan. You know what I mean? It's weird to like second guess some of these moves when the motivation is actually something else. He shoots himself in the shoulder, says, I had to return. turned fire. I don't know about that. I didn't get back on the case. I ended it to be technical with you here. I wasn't doing any investigating. I just murdered her. Different. But he wasn't supposed

to kill her, right? Yes. That's what you find out later is that like that wasn't part of quote unquote the plan. But I think the reason he does get even any problems at all is because he killed a white rich girl in her house. That's when they're like, dude, you know what? Fool me fucking twice. But at the same time, the police department's like, well, you are a detective. So, uh, you know what? Just resign. Exactly. That's exactly what it is.

That's fine. And that's just what has happened hundreds, if not thousands of times. You know, go a couple precincts over. They'll rehire you. Don't you worry. You're fine, baby. The police are just as bad as the Catholic church man. You're just moving these motherfuckers around.

Yeah, fine. All right. You know what, dude, you cannot believe you killed another child. That is, you are not allowed at the Christmas party for three years. That is, I. I swear to God, you kill one more kid. It's going to be a decade. Look, we were going to do that fun video where we parodied cop rock

and now you can't be a part of it. We're going to have so much fucking fun singing those songs and you are not going to be a part of it. You get stepping. You're going to go to Rococomo. That's where you're going to be stationed next week, okay? And here's where the police find Teeth Beach. And they wrap it all together that Denise Richards killed Nev Campbell. Yes.

Open and shut. Yep. Well, that's it. Let's wrap it up. this makes sense yeah they're like oh I guess everything worked out and that one skeezy detective wasn't part of it cool

there is a weird thing that happens and it's it's fucking dumb because like my biggest beef with this movie I despise all of the scenes you get post the end title card where they're really spelling it out you're seeing all this shit but there's an error in one of them

because like this I'm jumping ahead a little bit but like when Bacon meets up with Dylan at the end of you. We're pretty much there. Yeah, we are. I guess so. And so he's like, he comes out of the shower and he's got the arm injury and he says to Kevin

Dylan, Matt Dylan, my God. He's like, oh, your girl there with her aim or something like that. He's complaining about the injury. Then in that dumb ass scene, you see him shoot himself. Well, no, because he knows that Matt Dillon's not going to be happy that he killed his girlfriend. Like, because Matt Dillon... Oh, you think he's lying right? Oh, is that what it is? Matt Dillon's pissed. He's like, you weren't supposed to kill him.

kill Kelly we're supposed to just frame her and then I mean first of all the dick we'll talk about in the second but it's an exquisite he's lucky to get shot in the dick that's what I mean flopping around you that's hitting the broad side of a barn dude that's what that is you see that penis yeah for all I know it could have been up by your shoulder during the time of the shooting I would have been shot slung it over yeah it around the shoulder it would have been great if they just started making out like you know what I would have been like a little something for the ladies The scene has that vibe

Give you this towel and whatnot I mean look we've all The four of us have been on the road a lot I've never seen any of your penises We're not just like shower buds You know what I mean We stay in separate hotel Exactly

Now we do I'm not like that with any of my friends Where it's like oh I'm just gonna have the shower Ooh little tits a little bad I'm just totally naked in front of my friends Get the fuck out of here That seems like you be fucking your friend Exactly

Yeah like Chris Cabin get out of my bath Well, yeah, if Kevin Bacon, he wants to fuck him. Like, if you're stepping out of the shower like this, you're saying Matt Dillon, I would like you to touch my penis, my very large penis. How hot would that be if there was just this fucking origin? It would be fantastic. That would really push this thing up. This movie would achieve legendary status if that had.

If they all fuck once. Yeah. Ken Russell kind of shit then. Then we're getting there. But I love that it's a big problem because Matt Dillon's like, okay, yeah, man, you're going to get your money tomorrow. Hey, really, real quick. You want to go on my boat real quick, and motherfucker, again, I never got at anyone's

motherfucking boat, dude. This is what happens on boats. No, but seriously, like, if you're in a lifetime movie and someone's like, get on a boat, girl, you run. Absolutely. Also, I mean, also in real life, I don't think if someone was like, hey, girl, like, it's been fun. I told you some dark secrets and shit. I have a boat.

Do you want to get on a boat? And I'd be like, I'm a good swimmer, but I'm not, no. I'd get on the boat. Yeah, you're that type. I could fix the situation. No, no. You know, Eric, living on the wild. Speed boats are cursed.

You can't get on them. Pontoon boats, maybe. They're more family oriented. I don't think you're trying to kill anybody on those things. But here's the thing, my wife's, my wife's grandfather has a boat. We go on it occasionally, but it's like a thing where like four or five people on the boat together. If he was ever like, you know, Stephen, the ladies are going out for brunch tomorrow. Would you like to just join me alone on the boat?

I'm like absolutely fucking not. Can I tell you, I lived through like an anxiety attack of that exact situation. So I grew up near a river and like a lot of folks in my family like had boats and whatnot. And they were all like at the same arena and it was like that's what we did. Sure. And there was one time where like my uncle was like, oh, just go out on the boat. Let's go out. And I was like, well, who else is going?

He was like, oh, nobody. Everybody's busy. We'll just go out of the boat. And I was like, so I've known this guy, like my whole life. But will he murder me? Of course. I was fucking losing it, dude. I was absolutely losing it.

You can make up any story you want on a boat. Oh, he fell over. Oh, my God. We saw what happened with Natalie Wood. I was just going to say Robert Wagner is in this movie. Kevin Bacon, don't get on that boat. But he does get on the boat. And, like, Matt Dillon's like, hey, man, what a nautical turn?

what do you go down and fix the winch or whatever and he's like we're just two dudes on a boat you're not going to murder me right now to jerk each other off later like yes I think that's what that's what some prime 69ing should have maybe that's what bacon's motivation is like all right maybe he doesn't want to fuck in the hotel maybe he wants to fuck in the boat if we're out on the high seas international waters he's really into white squall role play

come on I like that I like that a lot This scene was, it reminded me and sort of like inspired me to rewatch Knife in the Water. Another movie where there's like fucking shenanigans on a sailboat. You can't be fucking taking strangers on a boat also. That director, he could come. Pretty troubled. That guy.

Yeah, big old piece of shit. But he winds up getting shot with arrows by Neff Campbell, who's still alive. And the worst wig I have seen in a. maybe one of just the worst wigs in cinema actually it's exquisitely terrible I was like who hates her it would be what

she's got this dumb red hair anyway just take that dye out then she has her regular capable hair and you can do a pixie cut sure but here's the thing like it's the same reason suppose I mean like

different parts of the trivia say different things but like a lot of why she's like with the wigs and why she's like not nude in this movie because at the same time this movie was

out she was still on party of five and it was like a that's a family drama we can't be fucking around with you being naked flash and breasts and whatnot and messing with your hair like because we got to shoot this show at least the wig got a second life

in that SNL mom jeans they got to yeah it was around that area it's a Susan powder-esque blonde wig indeed oh geez there look at my fucking haircut Like that's, that's a, that, that haircut goes with that accent. It's not super sexy.

And Nive Kimball looks great in this movie, but it's like, how old is she? She 50? No, she's not okay. Yeah, it's like, what's going on? And she, you know, she goes over and she's like, I've got to, because she gives him, what, some whiskey on the rocks. And then she has a cocktail for herself. And he starts, you know, he like smells it, I think, or something. Like he's afraid she's going to do what she's.

Which is hilarious because, like, I'm sorry, if you smell the, glass of whiskey with poison in it? Are you going to be like, oh, a little bit of rat poison in there? Like, you're not going to fucking go. No, I don't think you're going to fucking know. Look at a high school. Yeah, what? You're a guidance counselor. Oh, that's

so mean. You know what? There's some great guy. No, actually, I had some shitty guidance. My guidance counselor was a fucking son of a bitch, I'll tell you what. I'd smack him in the face. Good or bad. None of them are poison sniffers. Like, yeah, exactly. That's a fair point. Well, I want to, for people who maybe didn't watch the movie before

listening to this. There's this weird, like, Kevin Bacon is going to get some of the money from the settlement. They're all like divvying up the money and that's why they're eliminating each other. And watching it, I was like, well, how does any of this work? Because Matt, it's all in Matt Dillon's account or name. But then at the end, we do see Bill

Murray. I mean, here's the other thing too, though, like, Kevin Bacon, you're just a dumbass in this movie. Because he's like, all right, so where's my money? You saw my dick, where's my money? And he's, Kevin, Kevin Dylan is like, Matt Dillon. God damn it

I just love entourage so fucking much Victory Every time you want to say that Close your eyes Oh no it's the good ones in this Yeah yeah yeah The good one So Matt Dillon is like

Oh the thing about the money is My guy says it's gonna take a couple days So why don't you just hang out We could go on my boat It's like dude no Couple days No no no no Hang out in your own fucking hotel room

Until the transfer clears And then you get the fuck out of it We can have dinner at the hotel bar tonight if you'd like. We can get a drink around a lot of people at 6 p.m. Public appearances only, absolutely. I want to be able to face the front door, though. In case the fucking fuzz comes.

But no, he gets fucking murked. And yes, Matt Dillon gets poisoned. And Neff Campbell reveals herself to be an evil genius here. I think Neff Campbell's good in this movie. I like Nevken. I liked her and her, I've got a good pop quiz for you. Yeah. Greakety, Greek shit.

Dude, that part lost me. I was like, mold. I was like, I recognize these names, but I've been drinking today. I don't know what's going on anymore. And then he realizes, you know, he's been poisoned. Dude, yeah, he does go poison. Yeah. And then she, like, works the winch or whatever in order to have the sale, like, hit him and send him off.

Dude, I love the camera going right at his face. Yeah. That's kind of right. I would like his last words, but, you know what? The three-sum was worth it. And he's just, he goes, totally fine. Dude's rock. Dude's rocker his last words.

Then we get like the end, but then there's like 15 minutes a movie left. It mess me off. I was like, I thought it was like done. And then I was like, oh, no, wait, lady detective. And like, Neff Campbell has a 200-some IQ. That is the biggest whole shit. We don't need to go into fucking IQ test. Give me the brass tacks of what the scheme was.

Yeah, and we can just believe, okay, she's a fucking evil genius. She outsmarted all of them. They underestimated her because she was a poor girl and a got off. She's on a boat. She's won. Like, you know she wins. And there's nothing that any of those scenes offer, like minus her and Bill Murray. And like, if you want that to be the little, like, button on it, that's fine.

But all of these other things, they don't really offer any new information. It's all shit that you can either, like, guess happened or. have literally been told happen, but you're just seeing it. And I'm like, no, no, no. Like, the, I mean, like, it's one of the things, like, Roger Ebert said that, like, has always stuck with me. But, like, when that fucking the end title card happens or your credits start rolling or whatever, your movie's done.

Yeah. Anything after that, you're just poisoning it or, you know, cheapening the deal or whatever. And that's exactly what happens to this movie. That's overall pretty fucking great. Yeah. Yeah. I'll take a blooper here and that. There's a good blooper.

I thought who's going to be for a second I didn't remember any of this when I was like Is he gonna like trip? Oh the tit bath Yeah Functions or something Or like the champagne bottle

Like somebody slips off the bed Yeah Dylan is having a three step It goes No Oh shit I fucked it up I was supposed to say Kevin Bacon coming out of the shower

And his dick gets caught a fan There's just one side of Matt Dylan Like pretty tough job Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha we should say the thing about the penis though yeah yeah total accident situation Kevin Bacon has a very strict like no nudity clause oh really his contracts and he coward they yeah no totally especially with that fucking

shalong what do you what are you got to be shamed come on come on but I guess the deal was like they'd been shooting it one way and he was like oh my penis is not on camera and they did it a bunch of times and then they got the one and then it was in the movie and he didn't know until he saw the movie and it was like, oh, my dick, well. And he was cool about it though because I guess he had some line

where like he, the contract thing was there but he was also like a producer on the movie and he was like, well, I guess I could have sued myself. Yeah. It's pretty cool. I mean, I guess the editor like,

another story is that the editor convinced him to do it to keep it in like let's keep this shot and he's like, okay, fine, you know, blah, blah, blah. It's a big old dick. I don't know what you're hiding. Yeah, and I think we see. said this before, but I like

how casual it is. I'm getting it. I'm getting out of the shower, showing my dick to my friend. Who I want to suck it. I mean, it is for the ladies, though. Again, we've seen a lot of breasts. We've seen a lot of making out from, like, it's a little something for somebody to look like that.

That pool making out scene with Neff Campbell and Denise Richards is so fucking hot because it's like, it has such a good buildup because it's like, oh, we're touching each other's lips. Oh, let me move your hair. Oh, yeah. They have that car scene. Oh, yeah. Like, she's, like, got, like, a belt of scotch that she's throwing back. And she's just, like, guzzling it.

Yeah, totally. But there's another, like, because they're like, what should we do tonight? And we should just fucking go crazy. Let's go crazy. Let's just, like, eat each other out. Oh, that's hilarious. Ooh, pussy tastes so good. I'm like, I love it.

I'm eating it out ironically. Yeah, exactly. Oh, this is just a joke. It's like, okay, girl, no, maybe you're just, like, into women. This is part of the scheme. Remember, this is part of the scheme. Yeah, it's all for the, it's all for the big plan. Well, she had to have a high IQ to eat pussy like that.

Wow. Yeah, I do not need this fucking dude fixing his truck at the end of the movie. Like, yeah, she took all such IQ test, huh? Yep, yep. Oh, this was her boat. Ha, ha, ha. Get it? Yo, audience.

I would just look at an ending gator fight. You know, we keep teasing. I want to see a real one. I want to see this guy get his head. Just a gator fight over the entire end credits. like a nose or like his like hand or something sure i was conflating the end of this movie with adaptation oh and i was like when's the part where the fucking gator swoops in and eat somebody not in this movie could have used it but not it it would have been fine to see kevin bacon just

be eaten by a shark yeah just real quick right just when he's in the water with all the blood you almost see that happen yeah that's what i've liked be fucking rad yeah that would be so fucking but that is wild things ladies and gentlemen and I feel like it's kind of silly for me to ask if anyone would recommend this movie but Angelica I'll start with you not would you recommend it but like final thoughts and like maybe something you kind of took away this time rewatching the movie that you didn't appreciate before maybe one thing that I was thinking about watching it was like yeah this was a bisexual awakening for me And, but one of the most interesting things sometimes about, like, being a very feminine woman also into pretty feminine women is sometimes I'm like, do I want to fuck her or do I want to look like her? And I'm not sure, but let's find out. Or do I want to kill her because I watch wild things. I watch wild things and that seems like a good idea. No, this was just a lot of fun to watch.

I was kind of apprehensive going into it because I was like, I haven't seen this since I was a kid. And I was just like, I don't know what to expect. I don't know if it's going to hit the right tone. But I had so much fun with this. It's a huge fuck yeah from me. If you haven't seen it, I say watch it. There you go. Steve Sadek.

Yeah, I mean, we said it before, but they don't make movies like this anymore. I mean, it's just like this is on the Lifetime Network now and it's not good. Yeah. Like, you know what I mean? Like to have like good to great actors, you know, depending on how you feel about this cast, do this kind of schlocky material and really give it there. Everybody wants this movie to work, which is kind of cool. Everybody's in on it. Like Bill Murray is not looking for a paycheck.

Again, Robert Wagner, I don't even like. It's just sort of like cursing. And like, everybody wants this movie to make it. And it did. And it shows this weird schmaltzy labor of love in a weird way. And it makes sense why this was such a surprise kind of hit.

Eric Siska. Yeah. We need more movies like this. We need to bring back like erotic thrillers. We need to have sex again in cinema. And it was kind of great revisiting it because it's like a bygone era completely. Oh yeah. Yeah. So obviously it's a recommended. I feel like

it was kind of a joke for so many years, but like you look at it now with everything we've seen since, it's like, fuck, this was actually pretty good. Yeah. Totally. Christopher Cabin. Oh, yeah. I'll echo that Steve the cast really does make it for me. I think that's what really makes this thing sing.

And Eric is right. Sex has been, I think sex went out the same time that a gross out comedy went out, like, suddenly, like, fear of the body became very intense, I feel, all of a sudden at the same time, and that both came with sex and with, like, gross out humor. But I will also say a thing I like about this movie is the Florida setting. They use it. It's actually part of the whole movie.

And it gives the movie a lot of character where something like, something like this that might be on, like, a Netflix movie, a Netflix original would be all CGI green screen. Toronto, Toronto. Like woman in the window? Yeah, yeah. Oh, God. Did not see it? No, I still haven't seen it, but I'm like, wow, this looks really like what the

fuck was going on with this. Here's the thing, because it's not fun bad. It's like you're embarrassed for everybody involved. Because my whole thing is like, Amy, girl, you were good. You were doing real good. What have your choices been in last minute? Yep. I don't know.

So what happens? She closes blinds? it's like it's pseudo like rear windowy at first but then it gets into like all this other shit and like there's not a it's weird because it's a Joe Wright movie but there's like no direction of actors it's all just embarrassed. It's Joe wrong

it's Joe wrong. Yeah I'm not going to say anything that y'all didn't say already. I mean just that like again like bring fucking back into movies. I mean it was weird because yesterday when I watched this earlier in the day I had watched Fast 5 because we were doing the show with gay risk and like what we wound up talking about a little bit in that episode is how like here's dwayne johnson like fucking johnny beefcake and he's like constantly sexless and everything that it's like he's a kindle and it's like but a lot of stars are like that

it's not even just bring the fucking back bring sensuality yeah bring out with somebody for one like humanity yeah eroticism bring back like a very type specific type of heated charisma that feels sexual you know what i mean you know how repressed all that's been just simply from the fact that like one of the thing, when once upon time in Hollywood came out, one of the things everybody kept talking about and the thing that was like the most giffable

part of the movie was Brad Pitt taking his fucking shirt off on the roof. And like, yeah, he's 50 plus and looks great or whatever, but everybody was like, oh my running. But it's like, that's like nothing. It's like nothing in comparison of what we used to have in movies like this.

What's the other one I was saying, what's that fucking Jim Balushi erotic thriller? where he's, yeah, I'm fucking dead on the car at the beginning. Oh, something lies. Traces of red. Traces of red. I do think also, like, this movie,

they made that movie, was it a simple favor or whatever the hell that was? Yeah. And everyone lost their minds about it. And that movie's pretty chaste as well. That's basically like a stranger on the train. But it's closer to this level. And I think that's why everybody loved it so much

and I wasn't super into it. But at the very least, like, it was trying with the cast to make this kind of. I didn't dig on it. But, like, again, though, like, it's not as like sex-filled as something like that could have been. Totally. So it's just a bummer.

Like, let's get that back into movies, everybody. That's the, that's the thesis of this episode. Let's fuck. Exactly. And I will say, like, it's another thing just really, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Just to say, another thing is like, Eric, you touched that a little bit, but like the rep of this movie. Like, it's why it's important to reevaluate shit. Because, you know what, newsflash? This is a great movie. And it's been a fucking joke for 20 years.

It's been a joke because everyone who talks about it saw it when they were 14 giggling. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's, I mean, that's wild things, ladies and gentlemen. There it is. I'm glad we picked this. A good, good choice, my friend. This was all you. It was great. So have at it. What do you got going on? What do you want to plug? What's happening? I write shit. Yeah. Yeah. If you want to read my work, I'm a critic at New York Magazine site, Vulture. That is where the majority of my work is. I'm not on Twitter. much, but I may still occasionally share like important pieces, but I also have a newsletter if you want to subscribe

to that, you know, I'm around. There you go. And so happy I got to be on and see you guys. This was awesome. This is great. It's great to be in studio hanging with friends. I fucking love it. Back to it. So that's going to do it for us, gang, if you want more We Hate Movies. Of course,

patreon.com slash we hate movies. We got a lot going on this month and always. Yeah, history of violence was this month. We did Ken on gleeplessery. We've got an animation damnation on Jonah Hacks and Green Arrow for your comic book nerd friends. Green Arrow!

Least but not least. Wow. Rude. Ead shit, Oliver. But, yeah, the jackass commentary is coming out. A new Melro 2 and O. 2 and O, which Angelica

will be on very shortly. We're not sure when. We're working on it, but it's going to happen. It's going to be great. And as always, of course, on the free feed here, the show rolls on next Tuesday. We're still in the summer blockbuster experience again. Oh, we absolutely are. I got no idea how time works, Steve. But so what are we going to be talking about?

We're talking about one of the reasons why all movies are sexless, which is Iron Man, too. There it is. You fucking sexless-ass movie. And if there was ever a time when a movie should have been sexed. Oh, yeah, Mickey Rourke is lapping it up. I fuck my pit. I am hot. I'm going to hold the little dog.

I fuck you. look good. Does he hold the dog wallet? Yeah. I think that's up above the head.

Yeah. So until next week, when we figure out some stuff about Mickey Rourke, I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven say that. Eric Siska.

Chris Gavin. Angelica Jade Bastian. Take it easy. Yeah. That was a hit-gum podcast.