We Hate Movies - S11: Episode 557 - Iron Man 2

Episode Date: July 6, 2021

This week on We Hate Movies, the gang is chatting about the total snore sequel, Iron Man 2! Why couldn't they open the film with an Iron Man-related adventure? Why didn't they find a better, less shoe-horned way to introduce Fury and Romanov? And why did they deliver two underdeveloped villains instead of one actually developed character to go up against Stark? PLUS: The screenplay is loaded with jokes, including one written especially for bitter divorced dads! Iron Man 2 stars Robert Downey Jr., Mickey Rourke, Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Scarlett Johansson, Sam Rockwell, Samuel L. Jackson, Clark Gregg, John Slattery, Paul Bettany, Kate Mara, Leslie Bibb, Jon Favreau, and the great Gary Shandling; directed by Jon Favreau. Catch WHM on tour this fall! WHM Merch Store Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on We Hate Movies. It's even more boring than you remember. It's Iron Man 2. I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Sadek, replacing Steven Sadek. Eric Siska. Chris Kabovich. And we hate movies. Hello, we're doing to the fun of the fun of the fine program, as always, that's right? The summer blockbuster extravaganza continues. Here on the main feed, we're talking. Iron Man 2 from 2010. Directed

again by John the Favs Favreau. And boy, I mean, this is if you listen to our WLM last week and into this one, this is a fucking steep drop in quality, my friends. Quite a lot. Yeah, John Falvro. Nice. Nice, buddy. There we go.

You're welcome, everyone. Apparently a lot of this, not a lot of this, but at least if you believe Favreau, Marvel was tinkering a ton and really crammed that fury shit down his throat, which is why he left Iron Man 3, which makes a time. Oh, is that right? He decided not to do Iron Man 3 because this one was such a fucking disaster in terms of like, faggy being like, I don't know, what if there's a Captain America Shield? Well, then fucking fine. I guess there's... I don't know. What if you stop the movie

dead and we can talk about the Avengers initiative for 15 minutes? I'm never going to say it again, but good on Kevin Feige. If this is what got us Shane Black in the fucking in the chair, I'm happy. That's what I was just going to say. Without this happening, like, we had to sacrifice Iron Man 2 so we could get a really good Iron Man 3, I guess. Yeah, I'm going to take that way. This movie is so weird because it feels stifled by that. It honestly feels like there is tinkering behind the scenes.

And it's like, it feels like a season of television condensed into one. movie. Because there's like four, there's two or two different antagonists, at least three or four obstacles. And at the end of it, you just kind of don't even know what, which one was the most important one or which one even mattered. I guess it's also setting up Black Widow and War Machine. Is that right? Is that the name of the phone? Yeah, that's Roddy. It is really just like a test kitchen to bring up a lot of the ideas that will become like the basis of

this monster that we're building. here in the second phase. I got to say, I mean, that's pretty fucking ballsy. Like, yeah, Iron Man was a big hit, yada, yada, but like, you're only your second film out the gate and you're meddling as such. Like, I don't know.

I kind of feel like if it wasn't for the Clark Gregg Thorhammer Stinger scene at the end, I don't know if this fucking cinematic universe thing takes off. Because if you're just coming away, like, all right, that's the, it's only the second movie and that's the best they did. Yeah, you're right.

The Clark Gregg stuff is annoying. He's like walking up to R.D.J. going, I got to go to Santa Fe. There's some pretty cool stuff out there. Stick around for the credits. Dude, don't let the fucking door hit you on the way out. I don't know. Get out of my house.

I don't care where you go. Go to Santa Fe. Go. Just leave. It's exquisite. He's just like, you know, man, you don't have to announce your resignation from a movie. You can just fucking leave town.

dude, I don't care. Clark, Greg, might as well be doing like a diners, drive-ins and dives type show on the side. I'm going here. I'm going here. I'm just seeing interesting things, I guess. We're rolling out to the Baxter building.

The Fantastic Four. And in the meantime, when I'm not rolling out places, I'm standing in the background of scenes in this movie doing absolutely nothing. Like, the Fury stuff is fine. It's because it should be one scene, but they do two. and it's like, okay, that's too much. And, I mean, like, I don't mind Black Widow.

She does absolutely nothing in this. Obviously, the reason we're doing this. And Iron Man is because Black Widow comes out on Friday. And this is the birth of the Scarjo performance. Did you, everybody read, I forgot this. Emily Blunt had the role. Oh, yeah. Had the role.

Really? Actually, like, was given the green light and offered to come on board. And she had to drop out. out because, and I feel like this is how she had to do. She had like, yeah, Kevin, I'm sorry. I can't actually be the Black Widow because I'm filming Gulliver's Travels. I'm sorry. I just, I signed the contract.

I signed it. Wait, that, the Jack Black movie? The Jack Black movie? No, she's a that movie? She's the romantic lead with Jason Siegel in that. Is she a small person? Yes, she's the small person with Jason. Siegel and Jack Black. Is he regular size?

No, no, they're both small size and they're both on top of Jack Black. Yes. I was hoping for some weird sex oddity, like how it a little, like a tiny person and a big, big fella. I mean, I'm sure there's those jokes in that movie. I forgot at the minute it was over. That movie is

to stay tuned because you will be astonished to see how bad that movie is. How bad a movie can be. And it's just, it's just and I mean, her is fine. You know, she's got those quiet place movies. She's people like that. Edge of Tomorrow and all the other stuff that she does. But, like, yeah, this is a movie.

This is the role you kind of want. You know what's funny, though, dude, is I didn't know that. But, like, a while back, I think around when, like, Quiet Place 2 was, like, they were doing, like, press before it came out and before it actually came out. And, you know, she said something about, like, oh, yeah, I don't know. I'd never do one of those superhero movies. It's not really my cup of tea. Fuck, you fucking liar.

What, you're this bitter of? about it. I mean, you've got to be like, no, the movies are fucking terrible. And anyone who does them is probably a pedophile. I'm just saying that's what I've heard. Oh, yeah. That's what I heard. If you can't have the money, you have to go fucking nuclear with this shit. You're just like, oh yeah, fuck those movies.

Who guys about fun movies? I mean, she's not fucking hurting for cash, but that is just hilarious. It's just a sad situation. I mean, and I think unfortunately this movie, one of the things that really dates this movie is how they treat the Black Widow. Like, everyone's everyone, including the camera,

just staring at her tits the entire time. Yeah. And they get better with that. I'm curious to see how this Black Widow movie is going to look and feel. I'm kind of excited. The trailers look kind of cool. I feel like it's probably good.

My guess is about 20% too cute for me because it should be darker and more like spyish. And it seems like we're yuck at it up a little too much, at least in the trailer. I feel like even though, you know, like Whedon has been purged from this world, like that comedy

styling is here to stay I definitely you know and the fucking the cutesy bullshit of it all and like I would not be surprised Steve if we're watching this movie and it's just like Jesus Christ that that humor is part of the formula

whether you like it or not and the formula will not change no we didn't we can be purged he can be left out but the thing that built the thing will stay right so this movie you know it starts off. We get the Marvel

like flip book opening and there's some like audio from the first movie. You know, we got that bodyguard and a suit comment comes back and so on. But then we start off. We're in Moscow and we got Mickey Rourke as Ivan Danko. Is that his name?

Yeah, Vanco. Vanco, yeah. And dude, I got to tell you, so like he's coming off the wrestler, great movie, great performance and so on. This movie, it starts with like his father is laying in a bed dying.

You know, my joke for the dad. Oh, sure. Dennis Frenzovich over here. Oh, definitely, dude. Oh, my God. I'm sad I didn't get to see his ass, too. Definitely. Man, the way he's just weeping over this,

and then, like, then he starts, like, screaming. Do you guys watch it with subtitles on? Did you watch what the subtitles on? I did not. It says, roaring he's like a lion yeah I mean you brought up the roar

I mean that's what I was I was trying to get to the first time you really see him full on he's just standing in this doorway in silhouette like looking tortured as fuck and you're like dude this is Iron Man too like I don't I don't know what to tell you

but we're not doing that this movie he's also a 60 year old man who's morning his father to this degree I mean exactly I mean yeah you didn't see this coming? You had the cold war. It looks like he's like hooked up this stuff.

It's been a while. You've had time to process this. Of course. But like it's also funny because yes, you're screaming like that but also you have this air that makes you look like

you're in the touring band for corn now. Yeah, dude, I don't know what they're thinking with this. It looks utterly terrible. And all I can think of is that this is just kind

of how Mickey Roark was looking at the time. Yes. Oh yeah, totally. He's not getting a haircut for this movie. No, no. And he, apparently all of the prison tats and all that stuff is his, was his idea.

He says because, you know, he wanted to, like, get into the Russian character of it all. But I feel like it's also because he saw Eastern Promises. And it was like, yeah, I can do that. Yeah, I can do that. Was Easter Promises out in 2010? What did that movie? Oh, 7, man. So this movie saw Easter Promises.

Yeah. Oh, big time, them. Yes, yes. This movie went to the theater to see Eastern Promises, sat down. It's some popcorn, a doctor pepper. I do. I wish the end of this movie was the iron rock. You get the R.D.J.'s cock as he's fighting a whiplash there.

That'd be fun. Oh, yeah. That'd be something. You just have to imagine Kevin Feigey going to the theater saying it. Wait. Oh, my God. You can show real cock and balls. You don't have to digitally make cock and balls.

I thought it was like the sunset and the sunnors. Cock and balls. I like this because it also implies that he has no cock and balls. It's smoothed down there, baby. It's a bump. It's a real bump. Yeah, he uses a computer to make something go on down there. Oh, speaking of going to the theater.

Did anybody see this movie in the theaters? Oh, of course. I don't remember. Probably. Not a memorable experience, but I'm sure I saw this in theaters. Not a memorable movie. No, it's not. No, I remember the disappointment was felt audience-wide after, I will have to say.

Like, nobody was clapping like they usually do at the end of these things. Oh, really? just silently moving to your exits. I don't remember. I mean, I remember seeing it in the theater, but I had to definitely watch the movie a second time because my first time seeing it was spent trying to not get in a fight with a kid.

Pardon me? Was he picking your seat or something? You better believe it. We saw this at the Ziegfeld, RIP. And it was me and Chelsea and a friend of ours. And watching the movie, and this kid behind me is kicking my seat. Wow. Ziegfeld, for people who don't know, it was like a thousand seats.

So it's pretty crazy that, like, I don't know, this kid should move. And all the seats and all the theater, you can fucking shit behind me and kick it. Like, and it was like a packed house, you know, because it was like, I think it was like opening night. Like it was that Friday maybe or something. And like early evening show too. So like really packed theater. which was cool because, like, when the Zickfeld was really cranking like that, it was awesome. I love that place.

Yeah, man. And so we're watching the movie and, like, this kid's kicking my seat. And I'm doing, like, the turnaround and, like, nothing. And this fuck, it's like the kid that's kicking my seat, another kid, and then this fucking loser father. Okay, yeah. So how old were these kids, you think? It's like 10 years old. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. And so this kid's kicking my seat. I'm turning around. And so, like, I'd been turning around, like, to my left. And that's where I was, like, trying to look at the kid. And then I realized the father's on the other side. And I don't know if who's the father of this kid or the other kid or, like, he was the father of both or whatever.

But this guy just had no fucking authority over these children. And I turn around the other way. And I'm like, hey, you know, can we stop kicking the seat? And this, they start laughing. And he's kicking it more. What's your father doing? Nothing. Dude, this asshole's wrapped up an Iron Man, too.

This is the way you get around this situation, like, to not get around arrested, you don't murder the kid, you start punching the father of the head. Wake up, wake the fuck up. Look, what your kids? I mean, it was like, I was going mad. And it's just, it was that thing of like, it's a little kid. No one's doing anything. I'm entirely powerless in this situation.

It's pointless to get ushers, you know, so like, he stopped for a while. And then I think what happened, and like, to a degree, I feel for him, looking back on it now, 11 years later, right? is like, he was just bored because this movie's fucking boring and shit. It makes you want to kick something, right? Yes, exactly.

Because there's, I mean, make no mistakes, I did a time check. There's not an action scene in this movie until 30 minutes in, like, come on, everybody. It's a sequel, you got to go big,

you got to go bold. This should start with an action sequence and it does. I don't know how there isn't like the cold open of the movie is just, Iron Man doing a thing, like doing a mission. Instead, it's like, after

all the Mickey Work shit, when we finally see Tony Stark, he's just yammering on at his expo about how he's fucking privatized world peace and, oh yeah, the relations between the U.S. and the Far Easter, the best they've been ever, and all this fucking shit. And it's like, could

I see any of that? Yeah. Like a montage would be fun. Also, my question when he says that, he's like, I privatized world peace, you're welcome. everybody. Did he end the Iraq and Afghani war? Like, did, is that what's going on in this universe? I think so. Because like anything that anytime anything happens, Iron Man just shows up and like blows up both sides. At least on paper, I think he ended it. I think that's got to be what my

favorite part of the whole thing is his Ace Rothstein dancers that are going around to Iron Man. This is incredible. He has this this whole dance number. choreographed around him taking the suit off. And these girls are dressed like sexy Ironman on Halloween. Disgusting. Yep. Yep. You could buy this Halloween costume on Amazon. Absolutely.

Sexy Iron Man. I mean, I do like the, excuse me, the opening part where he jumps out of the plane. This was ACDC working for me right here. I don't know why. I mean, I think it's a better song, first of all. But like, I remember like it happened to me last night, but also when I was

watching it, even when my fucking C was getting kicked. like that whole like him jumping out of the plane all of those the visuals were really cool but then yeah just gets into the nick city dancers and you're like it's like this cargo plane and i'm just like can't he fly already yeah that's a good call i mean so that's the thing right was there a deleted scene there where he's coming from some mission because that would have been cool oh wait no no no because you got to know that in his claws he's not paying for the gas to get there oh nice yeah whatever is he just he just he just want to pay for any extra, whatever he's got to put

into this fucking thing. I don't know how much money it is per flight. It's probably a lot. The arc reactor, right? It's just like, it's just infinite gas in his heart. Well, it is until the palladium chip burns out and like gets into his bloodstream, which is that.

Yeah, it's trouble with that palladium chip. You've got to look out for that. I love that because I have no way to contextualize that in my mind whatsoever. Like, oh, the computer chip leaked and now he's got... weird veins. It's been a real long time since I've watched this movie all the way through. And at the beginning, you know, he does this big speech.

And then he like, he takes out this little blood testing. This is blood toxicity level 19. I was like, oh, I guess he's loaded. And then I was like, oh, no. Flying while drunk. That's what I thought too at first. And then it's like, no, apparently his body is getting more and more poisoned. Also, they wanted to do, or they all teased for between the first and the second movie that

this was going to be the demon in the bottle. the alcoholic storyline, and then obviously somebody got cold feet, and it's just this like palladium chip nonsense. And I mean, the, what you guys, yeah, with everything, like, they, it's like so little, right? Like, I think I said on the, on the WLM

that, like, this movie kind of touches on that. And yeah, it's like, he's kind of fucked up in, like, the middle, whatever, 30 minutes of this movie. Well, that's it. He gets drunk once as opposed to, like, you know, yeah, he's a full-on alcoholic. And to your point, Eric, yeah, like,

an alcoholic. struggle is actually interesting and something you have context for, a palladium chip in your heart that is slowly detoxifying blah-bidi-blah. Like, it just doesn't mean anything. No, definitely. And then they just like revert to cold daddy.

It was my daddy was the problem. And like, and I'm like like I just, it gets so boring so quickly and like you know it's going to turn up at the end because you know I mean, we've watched these movies now. We know that fucking Howard Stark is a

saint. Yes, of course. Can I steal a phrase from you, Chris Cabin? Sure. Hiring John Slettery as a 1960s businessman, that's some cheap heat right there. Oh, yeah. That is some cheap heat. Oh, yeah. You saw the writing on the wall. You've been watching AMC. You just want everybody to know. You're right. It is, it is really dumb to do that. But at the same time, it's like, he's interesting to watch. Yes. That's the thing. It's a real fucking dance with the devil here because it's lazy and stupid and so on the nodes. But at the same time, John

Slattery is an incredible actor and I could fucking watch that dude take a shit. No, man, I would definitely watch him take a shit. No, no. Chris, let me get this out. No, no. We can get like an app called like Poop Plus. We can put on the smart TVs and

we can watch celebrities take poops. Look, all I'm saying is justice for what's his name? The other dad. The other person that played Howard. Just justice for him. Yeah, well, they were like, yeah, we just needed a guy. That guy was just, he was a fucking Getty stock photo

who was a newspaper clipping. Justice for clipping guy. Oh, justice for Clippy himself. Clippy was assassinated by the Microsoft Corporation. Here's the thing, though, is I, for your app, Eric, which I really like the idea of when you'd watch celebrities take shits. Yeah.

It just, you'd need to do this thing where there's no browser history ever because it's not like, I would want to I want to watch John Slahery take a shit, but I wouldn't want people to know about it. You know what I mean? I'll be sure to mention that on Shark Tank when I take the idea there. Because then I'd be like, oh, so who'd you watch Take a Shit this week? And I'd be like, uh, Calcutor.

And it's like really like Paul Giamati and John Slattery. I could just, oh man, I would love to see, I would love to see Eric on Shark Tank with this one. That really would make me, you start off like quoting Chuck Barry. And I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, first off, I'll raise. some capital, you know, to show people what this is by just spending money on cameo and finally getting some celebrity to agree to take a shit. I bet you get Tom Arnold to do it, dude. I bet like 10K that dude shit in buckets for me.

Oh, yeah. You got to find, you're some motherfucker that's in some real financial dire streets. Yeah, and then you roll that from Mark Cuban and the boys. And suddenly you're rolling in it, like a pig and shit. I just like the idea of you getting into NFTs to. to fund this. Yes. Not the other way around.

NFTs, I don't understand either. That's like the palladium chip or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mr. Wonderful, it's like, you know what, Eric? I'm going to make you a deal. It's going to be, I want royalties on every shit that is taken for the next three years. And when I make my money back, I own 6%. If there's any corn in that shit, I want that.

That's consent right to my office. What is this guy's name? Mr. Wonderful, the guy whose wife killed somebody on a boat. I was just going to, I was, I was, I was going to ask if Mr. Wonderful was associated with the fucking boat-related homicide one of those fuckers was in. Of course.

Totally accident. Yeah. Okay. So the reason, by the way, we're talking about slattery, of course, is how it Stark comes up on this video. It's a fun. Yeah, they're out at the fucking,

you know, they're out in Queens. They're at the Stark Expo, we're calling it, right? The old world's fairgrounds and whatnot. It's a fun, wonderful world of Disney kind of knockoff thing. He's got the Disney mustache. You know what I mean?

It's like him sitting in a library, like, hello and welcome to the whatever. You know what I mean? Like, I get it. It's cute. It's fine. I was totally cool with it. I mean, honestly, I would do, because like, I know he pops up here and there throughout these fucking movies or whatever, but like, you want to know what my Disney Plus show is.

Like, these fucking, you know, the Loki and the Falcon and Winter Soldier and Wanda Vision and all that shit, just give me, like, because you're already acknowledging the world of Mad Men by casting him. doing this. Do like a madman as Coward Stark show and it's just fucking slut dog and he's doing his thing like that'd be cool. And maybe it's even like totally like low tier science projects too like not running with the big

dogs, nothing to do with like the founding of shield or whatever. Just let him be this cool scientist billionaire guy. And I think Eric you might be the only that watch this. Wasn't Howard Stark strongly featured in that Agent Carter show? Yeah, but it's back in the day. It's his face. It's back in the day. It's a

different actor. And I think there's a butler named Jarvis in that as well. Of course. That's how they rope that in. You know, Agent Carter, I thought was a fine show because it was, I liked the period dress and a lot of a lot of it felt low stake. It's like, oh, we got to beat up this guy for stealing a microchip

or something. So it felt interesting. And then it was, you know, canceled because no one cares. I think the period heard it in a way. Yeah, it probably did. But I also like What's Her Face who plays Peggy. Is that the character's name? Yes. Yeah, yeah. Peggy. Carter?

Yeah, Hayley Atwell, I think. Yes. Wow. Good call, dude. Yeah, she's going to be on poop plus. That's why I remembered. Oh, yeah, I watched Haley Atwell take a shit this week.

Meanwhile, my browser history is Paul Walter Houser, just Daniel Stern. Oh, man. You know how it's just taking his shirt off sometimes. That's kind of cool. He's going to bankrupt us. I think that, I mean, everyone wants to see Richard Joule, you know, do it. It got really hot in that. bathroom. I'll

blasted that one, brother. I'll tell you what. Nothing but hot ladies for me. Oh, man, what's Paul Walter Houser up to? That fucking Cruella has no reason to exist, but he's delightful in it. He's great and everything. He's fantastic

and everything he's ever been in. He fucking rules, man. He's a dude that I feel like if we had him on the show, he'd be a good hang. Oh, yeah. He seems like a very nice guy. And Eric, I think what you need to go and do is look up old SNL cast members. Oh, yes.

That's where your treasure troves really going to be for Pookeye Jackson. Absolutely. She'll go to Poop Plus. Don't worry about it. Joe Poops Capo. Come on. He'll do it. Look, you just, the real

I feel like pipeline here is like the real cameo washouts. Right? Like a lot of those fuckers. It's like, oh, you know, you're getting fewer and fewer requests for like birthday greetings, we'll come take a shit on Poop Plus.

Yeah. Non-Will Sassau or Phil Lamar Mad TV cast members. Definitely. It's what we're looking at here. Well, Will Sassau, I don't know. Phil Lamar, he's got his voice acting career, so that dude's good. So, so shows up in, like, every sitcom that's ever been made.

Like, I guess so. Every, like, a pilot, I think there's, like, seven pilots now featuring him. He's in, like, he's head, he's undergoing some type of wandavision-esque plot of his own, right? Oh, geez, that Will Saso is dealing with grief. Wow.

Sad. I, so yeah, he winds up getting served because it was 2010 and Kate Mara had to be in it. It'll keep a little Kate Mara cam. Well, you guys are skipping over Olivia Munn's in this movie.

Oh, Jesus Christ. You believe that? Exactly right. Dude, fucking army of the forgettables here. My God. Well, she does let you in on something that bewildered me. Oh, shit. when she's like, we're going to the Expo, which is going on all year long.

That's what those world fairs did, Cabin. They fucking rolled into a town and they stayed there for like an entire year. Well, okay, back in the day, that makes sense. Comic-Con for an entire year is hell on Earth. Yeah, wow, you're totally right. I didn't think of it that way. Jesus Christ, yeah, there'd be a fucking terrorist attack on the compound. No, yeah, there'd be death.

There'd be, oh, God, you don't even want to know the terrorists. Yeah, I don't know if you need a whole. whole year of this, especially because Jesus Christ, how much of it are weapons presentations? Yes. Yes, day 294 of Comic-Con, New York. And the news on the ground is grim. They've eaten John Byrne. John Byrne has been eaten. Oh, God, man, I got the latest report out of the Stark Expo. Ah, these are, these are Americans. They shouldn't let this go this long. Oh, man. Wait, now they're eating people? Oh, man. I would love to dismantle the filibuster to stop Comic-Con from killing all of these people.

But, you know, Joe Manchin's got to speak for West Virginia. She's got to do it. He just got to do it. For West Virginia, his daughter. Oh, come on, man. What were you thinking, Joe? Bipartisan support for Comic-Con year-round. God, idiot.

Listen, people. I get it, you know. I've read some Beetle Bailey. Very nice. is. What's blondie up to this man? Look at that

oh look at that Dagwood sandwich. Oh yeah. I know. Hey man, I read comic books growing up. Flash has still got a salad bowl

on his head. Is that it? That's how that works. Love that guy. It's such a great design too, right, man? It's like, he's covering his head, he's protecting his melon. But he also get a little lunch in there.

He's fencing with whisks. Oh, whatever. This expo's a bad idea. But so Kate Munn, Kate Mara, Kate Munn, that's the merging of Kate Mara and Olivia Munn. Kate Munn. No, Kate Mara. Kate Mara serves him with a subpoena, and it's like, you know, Morris, Tony Stark, cat, you know,

dogging around on chicks. Steve, did you see what she, so she's got like the paper right to serve Tony Stark to appear, you know, in front of this Senate committee or whatever. Do you see what was under that subpoena paper though? No. It was season tickets

to the Giants as a thank you for letting her be in that movie. She was like, Grandpa sent some season tickets for you, R.D.J. I'm acting. That's rude. She worked just as hard to get where she was. She had many sleepless nights. How am I going to keep my

Tribeca apartment with six bedrooms while I'm auditioning? It's very difficult. Steve, a Tribeca Apartments at the end of that one. She's one of them fuckers that buys like two next to each other and knocks the wall down. I mean, aside

from where she comes from, I actually think she's pretty good actress. I like her stuff. I just know, I love racking on that fucking family dude. They're literally an aristocracy. So you're You're good to go there. I think almost every single... We're getting to a point with the saturation,

and they'll trick you. They'll hide this stuff. Almost every actor, every writer, every person involved in entertainment other than podcasting, I believe, is an actual aristocrat. They just wear blue jeans so no one can figure it out. Is this what all those papers that are blocking my way into your living room are, Eric?

They're all involved with this? I keep on wondering why you're there to begin with, but yes. I check in on you. I have to check in on you. Dude, by the way, speaking of fucking people who are in this for one shot, Stan the man portraying Larry King this time. So this is interesting.

Both of these Iron Movie cameo, Iron Man movie cameos now are him being made to look like other people he already kind of looked like. Fascinating decision. Because he's Hugh Heffner in the first one. And this he's got the fuck as his vendors. He calls him Larry King. or Mr. King or something. Like, it's so silly.

And I know who that is. You can stop this. Well, it's great because Fabro is like, you know who should be seen and not heard Stanley? Because he doesn't have dialogue at either of these. As opposed to like later these things. It's like, and then Stanley goes to the bank and complains about the corridors.

That'll be a scene. And then, you know, Spider-Man. Hey, Dr. Richards, when you're going to get the mail in your building today, be sure you notice the parcel key that's been left in your box. because you've got to open the bigger box underneath because the postman delivered a package too. By the way, that piece of shit, Kirby did nothing. Are we done?

I mean, because I know that he had like a bunch of, I mean, I think you know with the episode. Oh, no, no. We've got two hours left. And I know that he, you know, he's dead, obviously, in long dead, you know, RIP and all this. RIV. But are we done with actual league?

I want to say the sand finally ran out of the hourglass got it. I think that's done. No Tark in town for him. Ooh, dude, we're just kind of doing that, but actually, you know what? I wouldn't be opposed to that because then it goes back to no dialogue. That's true, but

you know, maybe it's like on security camp footage or something. Like, well, like, you know what I mean? Not security camp, but like... Here's an idea. On TV. In the background, man. So this is what you could do, dude, right? Because like, Knoxville was like, look, I'm getting too old with these jackass stuns, right? So this fourth jackass movie is going to be his last. You just do let him do that

get the Grampy makeup on, but just dress him up like Stan Lee. Yes. And then he's, you can get him to do like maybe some minor stunts, like he falls off a bar stool or something. I would love to see Stan Lee, quote unquote, get hit the nuts. Or I mean, you know, it's just like maybe before he died, they called him up. They're like, right, Stan. We're just going to knock out a hundred of these. You just need to start reading off comic book character names. I wouldn't be surprised if they did that. I get him to say, oh, wow, once. And then he just said a dozen

or so more comic book character names. Oh, wow, it's the Black Knight. Oh, wow. It's the Shorgeman. Oh, wow. It's Captain Britain. Oh, wow. It's the Night Thrasher. Oh, wow. It's Puck from Alpha Flight. Oh, wow. It's the Utabama. Yeah. Steve, how many of these were just

T-shirts in your room? Keep on going, Steve. Can you keep, do you have more? Oh, wow. It's the Sasquatch also from Alpha Flight. Oh, wow, it's Wonder Man. Hey, Alpha Flight's them like Canadian fuckers that wrap with Captain America? Absolutely.

Or Captain Marvel, rather? Yes. Those characters are pretty cool. I like that team. I would really love it. Bring him back this way. Spiderverse 2 is coming out. You put him in there with that

And you just like clip together old soundbites Of his old cameos Hi, Spider-Man I'm so glad that you're going to serve today, today Can I interest you in a Coca-Cola? Buy Coca-Cola, buy Coca-Cola, buy Coca-Cola, Oh no, it's broken, it's broken, stop it. Here's your mailbox.

We're not near a mail box. Here's your mail. Stamps.com. Stamps. Stamps.com. Yeah, W.HM promo code. I do think I like Gary Shandling

in this movie. Oh, dude. Listen, he is literally the best part of this movie, hands down. Which is a problem is a superhero movie. You know what absolutely is. A hundred million dollar blockbuster. Gary Shandling should not be the best part, but he kind of is. He kind of is.

I like Rockwell, but I feel like they're just not giving them anything here. Yeah. That's what, dude, watching, it's very frustrating for me to watch this movie in some parts because like one of the, a big pet peeve of mine, watching Sam Rockwell waste his time.

Sure. Because that dude, that dude is aces, man, and he is in neutral. The only time he gets to do anything with any kind of flare at all is when he comes out at the expo to do his own little presentation and he's dancing and kind of doing like a Chuck Barris impersonation here,

you know, and I was really digging that, but otherwise he's just so restrained. I don't know if this is a hot take but I actually think Rourke is great in this. He is. I really think he really does something with the role that is not written at all.

No, I mean, there's nothing on the page for him or Rockwell and they do sort of steal the movie, but neither of them are given enough. The scenes with them together are not good. Is the problem? Because it's just oil and water or whatever, you know, two things that don't mix, I guess. Is that that, that's like that. Oil and

water is correct. It's true. science not my forte I'm not a hey I'm no Howard Stark so like and you know the weird thing about this movie

is you know so Gary Shandling is the guy and the politics of this movie are interesting not interesting at all but like we're further away

from 9-11 stuff that's going on in that first movie that 2007 so you've got more like sort of distrust of the U.S. government and that kind of stuff. But it never goes anywhere.

Like there keeps being this thing of like, it would be bad if the U.S. government had an Ironman. And the answer is, the question is why? And they never answer that. You need to see that. And that's what, because you were telling me this, Steve, I was getting, you know, we were all on the group chat getting some more comic history education here.

But like, so you were saying that Mickey Works character, Ivan Vanco, who is like credited, I think only in the, credits as a character called Whiplash. But you're saying he's a composite of Whiplash and then another character, which was the red what? The Crimson Dynamo which is basically Russian Iron Man. Like a lot of his... I mean, that's the weird thing too

is the Russian stuff in this movie could be interesting too, but we don't do that. And you... Maybe at some point in the script, it must have been because why would you have Black Widow and a Russian whiplash in the movie unless Russia matters, but then we just we back away from it. Because you

could play it as like Rourke would be like the contemporary version of like Nazi scientists that were like, you know, defecting to the U.S. to work on science projects, right? And like, so Rourke could do that from Russia and like he's working with the U.S. government. He's in an Iron Man suit.

And then that answers your question of what happens if the U.S. government has an Iron Man suit. And like, he's in that like mini ironmonger suit at the end of this movie for two seconds. He breaks wind and then is defeated. It's such a waste. of time. And politically, it does feel like a step back because that first movie did feel like defense contractors are evil. Like the military industrial complex is bad. And even in this hearing,

Robert Downey Jr. is kind of arguing against his own points from previously. Like, look at what other countries are doing. Like North Korea, et cetera, trying to build ironmen. So actually weapons manufacturing is good again. Forget the first movie. But now it's just me, a private man, having every gun. This works against so much. I actually think this starts on a good note for him because all this disillusionment that he goes through in this movie and it kind of comes from like he is the bearer of all

the military industrial complex. Everything that came with it, he has to do with and he has to do with his dad who he thinks is a piece of shit. And he has to deal with now. There's this idea that maybe this Russian guy who was working with him was actually the guy who did it all. So not only were you the son, the bearer

and the fucking financial gainer of all of this terrible shit, it was all stolen too. But when you could do all that and actually follow through on it, because that is actually the history of America's military and all that shit, instead you say, no, no, no. Daddy was a good boy.

Daddy was a very, very good boy. And that fucking, that Russian pig deserved to be shot. Well, you're totally right because when you find out later in the movie is what happened is Ivan Vanco, the dad, and Howard Stark built the York reactor together and blah, blah, blah.

Ivan Vanco decided to try and sell it or something. And Howard Stark had him deported. Dude, it's incredible. It's incredible. Here's the situation. Here's Howard Stark fucking billionaire dude already, right? Or like, you know, it was the whatever, the 50s and 60s.

So like, maybe he's just a millionaire. Even still. Over, you know, multiple times over a millionaire. Here's this fucking Russian immigrant that's like, hey man, you know, be cool. If we use this invention that we had here, the Ark Reactor, and I don't know, maybe make a little scratch off it.

And this piece of shit, mustache old motherfucker is like, you know what? Deported. Get out of here. Fucking, God damn. And then he spends the rest of his life in a gulag of some kind. I think that they even say that. And it's like, dude, yeah, I think I'm on Mickey Rockside here, man.

Yeah, totally. 100%. The amount of it. The amount of exploitation that to be not only just a Howard Stark or Tony Stark that you have to inflict upon the entire population of the world, just to be regular rich is like you live off of

exploitation. Yeah, and we have a lot of silly scenes about like, look how bad the Korean Iron Man is and the, dude, the North Korean Iron Man failing is kind of funny. Yeah, it was giving me like Robocop 2 vibes.

Ooh, big time. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, the testing out of the Robocops that are failing. My favorite one is the one that rips its own head off and screams and dies. I think that's a franchise highlight

for me. Absolutely. But, you know, I love how, like, heated this thing gets. And at the end of it, Gary Shedling tells him to go, fuck himself.

And it gets bleaked. Fuck you. Mr. Stark. It's great. And also, I mean, we allude to this on the, I flat out think that,

and I love him and everything else. Don Cheadle is pretty sleepwalking in this movie. And he's got no feel for this character. He doesn't pop off the screen. He just is sort of there. I think he gets better as these movies go on. But right here, it's interesting because, like, and I don't know what the deal was,

because, like, Cheedle doesn't do things half-assed. And so, like, I don't know if he just had beef with, like, the production or what, but he really does feel like he doesn't want to be there. versus Terrence Howard, who comes into that first movie, fucking going on all cylinders. He's excited. He knows what's going on. The character actually has some definition to it.

And here he's just like, whoa, hey, Tony, don't do that. There's some friction between Howard and Downey in the first one. This is just like cheerleading. It is. Even when you are like brought in to be like the person who keeps him in check, you're still cheerleading him. It's incredible. Yeah, it's like, well, Tony wouldn't do anything wrong. It's like, well, I don't know.

Maybe he does, you know. No, no, he's the best. He's the best boy. I mean, he is at least kind of like, it's weird, right? Because he's sort of testifying against him right here. But then at the same time, like, Gary Shandling makes him read a quote from a report out of context. And like, you know, so he tries to fight that at least. So you're right.

Like he is like, now wait a second, you're about to make me say something mean about my friend. But it doesn't, you know, it. I didn't mean it the way it's about to come off out of context. Like, he tries to preface it with, like, he's my buddy. And, like, yeah, I just, I feel like Chital is just sort of very, like, non in this. I mean, he's in the movie, but he's just kind of like, all right, you know. Yeah, I mean, that's the thing is like, there's, we have too much to focus on. Like, if we just focused on his character and built up the whole war machine thing, and I, I think it would work better if there was one villain and then maybe we were building up Don Sheetel's.

character a bit. Yeah. Get rid of this fucking Justin Hammer storyline. It doesn't make any fuck it's it. You do it better in the third one anyway. And it's also, I mean, the first movie, which we do like, by the way, check out the we love movies on Patreon. We're not all, you know, we don't only fling shit.

But in that movie, the bad guy was a fucking, you know, military industrial complex defense contractor executive type. And now I don't need another one in the next movie. that's exactly right and i mean you give you get bridges who's a fucking powerhouse in that movie and you give them some rope to fucking do some stuff with you know what i mean like yeah as opposed to this like nobody has enough room and i mean look the movie's only two hours thank god yeah but i mean what they're setting up and what they're doing it should almost be three you know what it means yes no that's exactly right and that's what's weird is like you know rourke

who should just be the villain of this movie right and he should he should get to menacing with Tony Stark without the aid of anybody else, right? Because like, the thing that you, the first is seen with him after the dad dies, like, he successfully just builds the mini arc reactor in his fucking little apartment in Moscow. You know what I mean? It's like...

Yeah, it's like a forged and fire episode. It is. I mean, it's, it's essentially what fucking Tony Stark does in the first movie. It's just a Russian apartment cave. Very inspiring. Okay, Blacksmith said, your home forge, you'll have one month to complete an ironman suit.

Oh, man. As sheen in the popular movie, Iron Man from 2007. Have they touched on this movie at all, Steve? Is there Iron Man shit in that show? No, no, no. I mean, like, the only time that it was the fucking saddest thing I've ever seen was when that Robin Hood movie was coming out. And the Jamie Fox one.

Oof. And it was like Jamie Fox, like the challenge was some sort of Robin Hood sort. It was like a video of Jamie Fox being like, I can't wait for you guys to A, see this movie and B, Do you make the sword? Yeah, okay, cool. Dude, did the video start with Jamie Fox going, what is this for?

Exactly. Pulling on a vape. I'm a sucker for Robin Hood, and that movie was probably one of the worst movies I've ever seen. See, that's how you know it's a bad Robin Hood movie, dude. If you even don't have good things to say about it, look out. I'm a Prince of Thieves defender, for Christ's sakes. I mean, Eric, I do want to say,

you saying that the last villain was a military, contractor. So is Sam Rockwell in this one? It's funny how, like, what was Obama doing? He was reaching across the aisle. He was trying to get some people on the right side to work with us. What do we do? We do that in the movie, too.

We reach to the fascistic 80s movies where the Russians are always the villains. And we bring that over. And we have both the villains in the same movie. So that we're both. We're doing both. It's good. And here's the thing, though, at least, like if it was just

Mickey Rourke and Sam Rockwell doing their thing fucking Banco and Hammer that it would be crad the field would be crowded already but like you could work it out but then like they don't even have a fucking prayer because the movie keeps stopping for all this

fucking stuff to set up the Avengers initiative. Yes exactly and the thing like so it's like nobody nobody in this movie had a fighting chance just scenes Rockwell's Hammer like it's a financial stake for him and then Mickey Work is about his fucking dad. I would

almost rather it be one of those cliche kind of 80s movies where it's like, yes, and then I bring back Soviet Union. Sure. Yeah, that's nice. Big stakes. Like he goes, he fucking assassinates Putin or some shit. Oh, that would be righteous. I'm taking over

Russia, big global powerhouse once again. I could see it. I will bring back iron curtain, right? Everyone stands and applauds. He said the thing. There you go. That's actually something like a government erecting a type of, I mean,

it wasn't literally an iron curtain, but if it was something that could actually like repel Iron Man, like he can't fly past Belarus anymore. Well, some of that would actually like make me feel something. Like watching Putin get like electro whipped in half while he's eating his beet soup. or whatever. That would make me very happy. I feel like I would actually be invested in

movie that showed that kind of stuff. Yeah. Not here though. No, not this stuff. We do see Mickey Roarck designing these whips, these fucking electric whips that he's got. I'm sorry, these are dumb.

Well, that's the, first of all, he would cut, you would cut yourself in half, you'd decapitate yourself with these things. A, is he a whip expert to be? Begin with B, how did he get that way? And see, like, if not, like, you are, this is the most dangerous thing you could ever invent. Also, I never, like, when Iron Man is fighting him, I'm like, just fly, go away from him. You don't have to be close.

You could nuke him from orbit. It makes no fucking sense that when we get to the Monaco sequence, he tries to go for hand-to-hand combat here. Most of the moves he's making, make him look like he was like the, like, the, like, goalie for. the Olympic jump rope competition. Yes. Like he's just doing like when he's doing the whip he's whipping them both at the same time.

It literally looks like he's jumping rope. Yeah, it does. It's dumb. There's a crazy thing. Do you guys notice this line? Eventually, you know, we do so much of this movie is actually like the downtime of Tony Stark. So there's a lot of him like around the house and shit.

So of course, Pepper Potts returns. And I have to say, I did not have kind words for Gwyneth Paltrow and her performance in Iron Man. I will admit that this time around watching Iron Man 2, I think she's pulling it off here. I was believing what's going on. I feel

at least she had like a little bit better handle on the character in this one. But I do look, there's a crazy crazy now like in 2021 watching this throwaway thing where the beginning of the movie she's got a cold and Stark is like put a, why don't you put

a mask on with that cold? And she scoffs at him. And I'm like, dude, nowadays, I bet you fucking put that mask off pepperpots. Speaking of the downtime of Tony Stark, did you notice this line from Jarvis? That when he comes back from testifying before Congress, Jarvis says it was refreshing to see you in a video

that you had your clothes on it. Dude, what is that? It's fucking sex taste. Exactly. We talked about on the WLM episode on Iron Man. This dude is a sex criminal. He's got sex tapes. everything is fucking bugged

it's insane I will get to it a little bit later but there's something that I realized that this movie about Tony's sexual proclivities but yes it is so weird

that this sentient thing is just watching you fuck all the time dude it's really weird it's really weird also dating this movie in a really kind of shitty way he's like running around the house

him and Pepper have their banter and whatnot he fucking reveals this Iron Man poster that's definitely like a reference to Shepard Ferry's Obama. Oh, yeah. Dude, come

on. You can't be put those things in movies. It's one thing because he's like, you know, he's like, oh, wow, what a great thing. And then like, the movie kind of stops dead because he's just like, let me put it up here. Let's let's see where I could put this thing.

Yeah, yeah. This is also around when we get that he's donating all of his modern art collection to the Boy Scouts of America because they get just a much ass as I do. Is that what it says? No. The troop masters, right?

I think you wrote that down wrong, Eric. But we could go back to the tape. Not as me as Tony Stark. You know, it's funny, though. Thank you for mentioning the modern art thing, because the thing that I didn't bring up about Iron Man on the WLM episode

is that there's a throwaway piece in there where Pepper is telling him about how she's been negotiating to get a Jackson Pollock and he's like well what do you think and she's like well you know I think it's first of all he's like oh

his spring period and she's like no it was the springs out on Long Island that's where they were living you don't know anything whatever and he's like okay fine fine but I want to buy it and she goes like oh well it's way overpriced and he goes I don't care I need it buy it and put it in storage and it just reminded me

of like the insane art world thing of like fucking, and it's amazing. There was a piece in the Times about this the other day, too. Like billionaires and even like down to like, you know, fucking like rich-ass drug dealers and shit that need to like launder money just buy

classic art so they can get the money off their hands and then just put these things away and nobody ever sees them. And I think it's so fucking disgusting. But that's exactly what Tony Stark would do. He's a piece of shit. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. He bought a Jackson Pollock and he told her to put it in storage.

Oh, yeah. He would have one of those tenant places. Like, he'd be storing it away in the airport, weird fucking sub-dimensional fucking transfix, whatever the fuck. Yeah, under the Denver airport. Yes, that one exactly. All you got to do is look at the carpeting of that airport.

It tells the whole story. Yes. I do. The Monaco sequence is cool, but it also, like, makes you want this movie to globe trot a little bit more. Because it's like, we just kind of take a quick trip to Monaco and we're back.

Like, you know what I mean? Like, that's a great point, Steve, because it's kind of funny because my, and I think some other of you guys, Eric, I don't think you saw this, but the second Tom Holland Spider-Man movie, like my beef with it is like, I think Spider-Man is a New York City superhero and that's the way it needs to stay. But Iron Man can go global in a way that Spider-Man shouldn't have to. And so, like, yeah, it's like, oh, cool, we're in Monaco, this is great. The first movie, like, he's in the Mideast for a little bit and whatnot.

Like, yeah, let's take this shit all over the place. And, like, nah, you're there for a scene and we come back home. And the scene is pretty dumb, too, right? Like, the whole, like, he's, I guess this feeds into his playboy type of lifestyle where it's like, oh, I'm going to race a car now. Like, he owns a racing team. And then it's like, well, because I'm the billionaire owner, I'm just going to decide at the last second fucking minutes from the checkered flag being waved. Now, I'm just going to drive the car now. I love the driver being so pissed off about it, like screaming in Italian.

great. We're bearing the lead though. Like the reason is like he keeps on fine. He's increasingly finding out he's dying because of the palladium in his heart. And like it's just him like either denying death or literally being like well I'm going to die soon anyway. Might as well crash a car. That's fair.

In Formula 1. You know, he always had a fondness for number three dude. So he wanted to go out of the place. No, but I know the, no, go ahead, Steve. Well, no, I mean, I just, but the weird part about this death drive thing is that it kind of, A, it should just be alcoholism because you're, you know, pussyfitting around with it. B, it's because you're not, but if not doing that, you just have

this weird death drive thing, which actually just sort of reverts him back into the character he was in the first movie. He like regresses. And it's like, that's kind of not how characters should work, I think. Definitely not. And it's like, you know, I get it. It's a sequel and whatever. but like the character should not have to come to like the same realizations the second time. Yes. And the funny thing is they regress this character and the progress that he makes in this movie kind of doesn't have anything to do with the progress he made in the first movie. So like it undoes part of what, you know, part of him.

And then like he achieves something but like a totally different part of himself. Yes. It's kind of weird in that way. Also, the jaw-dropping cameo in this movie, I had no memory. Oh, yeah. Dude, he's walking through the clubhouse or whatever, you know, at Monaco. And there is fucking Elon host of S&L Musk himself. You know, Elon Musk, you know, you may know him from SNL.

Yeah. Hi, heish, how are you all doing? Hello, Tony, you're a petophile. You made fun of me. You're a pedophile. Justin Hammer also a pedophile. This is me on the internet. I told Justin Hammer

I was going to name my first born child XJ 1347-B and he called me an idiot but next what he's a petapile I'm dressed up like I guess I dress up like Nintendo character now I kill people on moon soon you petophile

Well that's the thing is it's just money folks All these people are fucking stupid They just have so much money They throw out every little fucking thing That sometimes it works out a little bit Listen dude he's a genius because his dad fucking owned a diamond mine. Okay, that's how that works.

My dad did not figure out that. So I think they were, I think it was emeralds actually. Oh, even worse. Yeah, my South African dad had nothing to do with this. I, so what's the thing? It's like, oh, hey, Elon, we'll work together on that project wink, stop movie dead kind of a thing. Pretty much what's going on. And in 2010, I mean, I feel like they cut his mic too because he's just like,

He was known for PayPal at the time, right? Oh, right. Oh, yeah. Did Elon Musk start PayPal? I think he was involved in it, yeah. Is that right? I mean, I think we had some, like, early grade Tesla's floating around at this point, though, in 2010. Peter Thiel is definitely part of PayPal.

Maybe he was the other side of it. That sounds right. I wish. I'm going to look it up. What a horrible world. In 1999, Musk co-founded X. dot com and online financial services and email company

and see look now folks we're like one of those shows that you love that just reads Wikipedia we can't do that now we cannot do that I refuse I'm doing my research guys people love this people love research it's sort of like training in the movies yes so yeah uh yeah I mean

I think it eventually became PayPal oh interesting I wish there's a Zuckerberg get a Zuck Dogs cameo in this one dude oh hi toys Stardle's one back For the dark of bird. Dead on.

You're going to do a about to make an iron barred food for me. Can you make it bald? It's just like him going to pepper. Like, Jesus, is that his haircut? Jesus. Does he always talk like that?

Or is that like an infection in the nasal cavity or the back of the throat? Sometimes I talk like, we did, we skipped over the introduction of Black Widow. And it's a whatever seed, like, Tony's boxing with Happy and, like, a lot

more John Fabro in this movie, which I'm like okay. And I like John Favreau. Listen, dude, fucking count your blessings that he's in it as much as he has an Iron Man, too, because once you get to that far from home. It's the first one homecoming also. I mean, like, he's like third build in that. It's crazy. He's saving people

in that far from home movie. Like, get him out of my film. But it's, Black Widow shows up. And, like, everyone, you know, the camera's just like, ba-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-v-w. And this is the weird, what I noticed this time around, it's kind of present in the first one, but it's definitely president in this one.

Tony and Pepper have, like, weird swinger energy in this movie. Definitely. Yep. She's, like, hands off. And he's like, I want one. And you know, they're just like, she's definitely been watching him have sex with some of these ladies. You know what I mean?

Like, they go, hey, Tony, I'm. brought a friend. Uh-huh. They are a terror at the Ramada in bar. You know what I mean? Like, it's the weird couple. It's 3 a.m. And you're like, dude, steer the fuck clear from that bar.

Uh, maybe. Hey, Pepper. Tony wants play. I mean, I don't know, man. Fucking Robert Danny Jr. And when is the out of, oh, that's true. Come on. Yeah.

Sorry, Steve. I stepped all over you there. That's fine. I just, you know, here, uh, there is a, uh, cosmopolitan from the couple at the end of the bar. We like your energy. You know, honestly, yeah, we would all, like, we would all fuck both of them.

Oh, for sure. Get into that sandwich. We'd crawl into bed, get tucked in. I'll be the fucking, the mustard in that sandwich. Whatever you need me to be. Pickles, whatever. Fucking, just go ape shit on me. I'll be honest. I'll just come clean.

I prefer him with the gap in his, old school. I would prefer that version, but yes, of course, yes. But I, yeah, I mean, like, just there's just weird like and the first one with her and Leslie Bibbs like let let's take the trash out it's all part of the game it's like there's like a weird fandom threadiness to it as well which is weird totally all you're missing is the big breakfast dude you are absolutely correct well also it doesn't help that uh i scarlet johansson's awful in this i thought i honestly like

she does the stunts very well like she's good in the uh in the action scenes but like she seems really vacant in all the dramatic scenes. Like, completely not there. To be fair, there's nothing on the page for her, though. And when she has her due to an Avengers, she's quite good in that movie. You know what I mean? And she's quite good in some of those later Avengers movies.

Yeah, this movie is very weird with the character. She's undercover at Stark Industries as like Natalie Rushman. And like, there's a scene where like he's looking up her like her history, like Google or whatever, and finding out her resume. And finding out that she modeled in Tokyo. Let's look at these lingerie photos

folks at home. That's really unnecessary. Well, she's really unnecessary, but I guess is that to make her more ingratiated within Stark industry since it's a fucking nightmare factory sexism-wise? Well, I mean, probably, but I thought it was a

I thought it was a sly lost in translation reference. It could be that, but it's more about ingratiating a teenage boys into the movie. Yeah. That's very true. She kind of spoke out, I think, during doing publicity for Black Widow saying that, yeah, this movie doesn't hold up. And I don't, you know, a lot of the count, a lot of the stuff that kind of, yeah.

Oh, she literally brought up Iron Man too specifically. Yeah, she was like, yeah, my first introduction, like some of that stuff, you know, like, it was fine at the time, but I definitely wouldn't want that in the movie now kind of a thing. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's so much so, I mean, and the character and the tide has changed so much that, like, really when that came up, because I have not watched this and I couldn't even tell you. And I was like, holy shit. Like, I couldn't believe it was in this movie. Because these movies, I mean, you know, we talk endlessly about how, like, sexless they are and everything. But, like, they don't even have pictures that look nice in movies in these movies.

You know what I mean? Like, it was just stunning. It was one of those things where I was like, did Tyler Durden fucking snip in some scenes from something else? Like, Jesus Christ. We're not that lucky. I do find it funny that this is the movie where Leslie Bibb and Sam Rockwell got together Yes

Chelsea was wondering that last night And I could not confirm I think they're quite adorable Yeah I think they're good in the scenes they have in this Like I'm 90% sure this was when they got together Well dude and this When her character comes back here And it's the same clubhouse scene where Elon Musk

You're right Steve I think they definitely just turn that mic down And like our DJ just keeps walking There's all this shit about like she did a spread in Vanity Fair and they keep joking about spread spread spread and then like Hammer says something about he wants to you know

present at the Stark Expo and he needs to get a slot there and he just goes Hammer needs a slot Christine that's a filthy joke to have in a Marvel movie I couldn't believe and then Pepper goes up to Leslie Baby and goes I'm wearing your underwear we're fucking weird

I told you I threw it out but that was a delicious life no you're missing a shoot be like oh hi so nice would you want to do

another play appointment perhaps in the summer we were thinking about doing a country weekend play appointments is that a technical term man I believe so dude

you know here's another legitimate laugh at this movie is like so the race is going on and we we've seen in a two second scene it doesn't matter but mickey work has acquired uh plane tickets and a passport to get himself to monaco here he is in disguise as like an emt just walking around like do do do do do do yeah it's kind of great i mean you would stop that dude and be like um excuse me yep exactly you're not part of this this emergency uh but then he gets in the whiplash outfit which is like it's, first of all, it's shirtless. And again, you would cut yourself in half with these electric whips.

Because he's cutting cars in half. Well, he's cutting cars in half, but I don't understand how the, because the thing is, the reason it's shirtless, Steve, is because the shirt burns off of his body. Oh, okay. And it's kind of a cool graphic. But at the same time, I'm like, how is that heat not going the other way also? Yes, exactly. The shirt turns to ashes in the wind.

Oh, I think you have to assume he's, he's like, immortal of some sort. Or a pain pig. He could just be a Russian pain pig. I think that's the answer. But you would think that. But like the guy gets run over like three times when he's introduced. And like, and he's fine. Like he's just completely okay. He just walks away from everything because I guess this is a dumb comic book movie. But what I love about

that sequence when they, you know, he eventually, you know, cuts Tony's car in half and they have that. He's like running away from him. And there's a whole like happy's got the nuclear football that is the Iron Man suit. Totally. And then he's just right, happy keeps hitting him hitting Mickey Rourke with the car against his wall. I think it's my

favorite action set piece of the film. He's pulling a real fucking, he's pulling a real domteretto right. I'm sorry, Mr. Vanco, you, you'll never walk again. Happy. You've been paralyzed by a man

named Happy Hogan. That's, That's what makes it so much worse. I kill Dishappy Holgan. Oh, dude, yes. It is him like trying, in a wheelchair trying to murder John Favreau for two hours.

Dude, he gets the wheelchair from Silver Bullet. Fucking do it. Him having motivation against someone that actually wronged him and not his dad. My dad. What is it, so wait,

isn't Marvel doing those what if shows? Can't we get one of those? Yeah, like, he like carves a frown into his mouth. It's like so hippie. I like this. Let me tell you something, right?

Cabin, you just inspired a great idea. Like, you know, let us write the adult what if. Because you know, you know, the what if that's going to happen is just going to be kid shit, but like, I think we could fucking turn that idea on its head.

Here's the thing. Kate Mara's cousin wants to do it. Well, well, he'll direct, of course. I'm just asking for, yeah, you know what, you're right. I want an eight-minute web episode, and I will fucking knock your socks off, my friend. Give me eight minutes. Absolutely.

We did say, you know, speaking on an Iron Man one, that like the shot of when Iron Man, like, when Iron Man, like, shoots the little rocket into the tank and then walks away and it blows up and it's very badass. You don't get that anymore. Similarly, you don't really get these anymore either, but, like, Rourke. I love this effect of, like, all the cars crashing around him, and he's, like, blowing up all this shit. And, again, walking away from it. And it's, like, sort of in that moment, like, the, you know, like, the beauty of the villains attack.

Like, you really don't get that anymore. I mean, it's the best action scene in the movie. It's the first action scene in the movie. And it's 30 minutes. And then there's, like, an hour and a half until the next action scene. And it's like, you know what I mean? Like, this is a cool action scene. And it works.

You know what I mean? It's fun. I actually also, like, I like this Iron Man suit, the silvery-looking one. That's kind of cool looking. It's pretty badass. I actually think the nuclear football idea

with like the suitcase is pretty rad. I always like that. I remember being like, oh, wow, like, cool. Look how far he's taken the suit technology. You know, with it, like, just building itself around him or whatever. Pretty cool.

When this movie is an action movie, which it barely is, it's kind of fun. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yep. This sequence is great. The whole shot of when, Then, you know, Mickey Roark, like, cuts Stark's car in half and, like, you have the slow-mo shot of RDJ and, like, the back half of this, you know, F-1 racer, like, flying up into the sky.

Like, it's all really cool. Like, the favs can direct action. And, like, the action from this movie is, like, few and far between. It's totally gutted in that way. And, you know, Ivan, you know, gets not paralyzed, but, you know, arrested. And they have a quick scene. that's kind of like your father fucked my father over pretty seriously. Yeah, totally. I love, you know, Mickey Roark's getting his fucking money's worth from the hours

in the makeup chair with those tattoos because he's just wearing jockey shorts in this scene. Oh, definitely, man. He wanted to show off a little bit. He looks great. He looks a weird monster, but in a great sexy way. He's got the, he's still got the body from the wrestler, though. He still fit as fuck.

The hair is just terrible. The hair is something you find in like Kid Rock's shower drain Like it's just really bad But could you imagine him With like a buzz cut in this movie Because I can't What is that what is that Noggin looking like?

No it works No it does work for this But like also he does look like He opens up for Chris Angles Again like like the whole Like I would love Just for them to give him One scene alone

Where like you just get to hear What he cared like They just like that's the only thing they learned over the years with this Marvel shit is that like to give the villain a little bit more time. Yeah. But like now it's nothing in this movie. Ooh, your villain's underbaked, isn't it?

Ooh, look at that, mate. I put the toothpick in the villain and it comes out all drippy-droppy. Your villain's got a soggy bottom, doesn't he? Doesn't it? Oh, he looks like he's a roadie for incubus, don'ty. Oh, don't he? Oh, he's fighting a murderer of crow. Zaini.

Or no, Crow left foot of the murder. I fuck that joke up. I mean, the three incubus fans are devastated. Myself of among them. Oh, Reddit's going ape shit, dude. Don't worry about that. I love, yeah, so like, you know,

and that's just kind of it. And then, like, he goes to prison and Justin Hammer engineers his escape, which is kind of fun, the explosion. I mean, like, I wouldn't qualify it as an action sequence, but, like, Him breaking out of jail here is kind of cool.

It is kind of cool. I like that he kills that one. The guy's like, hey, so I guess I'm just going to stay here for you. Oh, wait, I'm being murdered. That's not fun. Yeah, it's fucking great because you can see this guy, whoever this beefcake is that has this totally throwaway role.

Maybe he was Mickey Wark's stunt double. Who knows? Like, the guy, really good facial acting here because you see, they do the nice thing. If you notice that the prisoner suits they have are like the same prison number on it or whatever. And then like he's looking at that. notices it, looks it up at Mickey Rourke, and it's a real, like, mother.

And then when he's walking out of the cell, he just snaps some guard's neck, which is pretty great. Big time, dude. We're breaking necks left and right. It's awesome. And this is when he gets recruit. And this scene happens twice, where he recruits, Justin Hammer recruits Mickey Rourke's character. And it's just like, you know, like, they're coming to the agreement of what he wants and blah, blah, blah. And there's literally two scenes in a row with them having the same conversation. I want bird.

Yes. I won't give me beard. Did I blink and miss it? Did we see his bird in the start? Yeah. It's floating around that disgusting apartment. Yeah. It was hard to focus. There's so much filth everywhere. I can zero in on

it. You know, I was like, oh, a rodent or a flying thing. Yeah, of course. Well, did he, because I want to know. Like, did he say, like, I want bird. You have to go to my neighbor's house, I gave him the bird, I gave him bird medication at the DS3 times a day.

I gave him the bird feeding schedule. Here's thing. You have to monitor bird internal temperature. Way to do that is only to stick thermometer up bird asshole.

Slightly bake the bird seed before feeding. Slightly baked. Sorry, listen, bird is 26-year-old. He has diabetes. He has bird arthritis, bird HIV. He's a very sick bird. What you do is before he go to bed, you stick finger up his asshole, rotate, and then he live.

Here's thing. Bird is over two decades old. Bird can no longer fly on their own mobility. Bird miss flying and love flying so much every night before bed you have to lift bird up make pretend he fly around

living room. You should build a little ironman suit for the bird. Oh yeah dude, fucking iron bird man! I'm in the iron bird in a big bad way. Fuck yeah, dude. Better movie. Okay, first I will not make Whiplash costume. I will make

iron bird. It is literally so bird can go bathroom normally, but it is pretty exciting. Oh, Tony, you're in trouble now. Iron bird here. Wait, what? Oh, he are too heavy for him to fly.

He's too old. Oh, he explode. Okay. We do another iron bird. Here come Ironbird. Polly want Jericho missile. Iron bird also have a alert for him to take heart medication three times a day.

I would just love it if he says I have bird iron bird all this and he just shows up and it's just

the bird taped to a gun you will never believe technological achievement of iron but it's

tragic that he never gets reunited with his bird no it's true because Sam Rockwell's character is a liar

piece of shit he just gets another bird just a random bird and passes it off as his own and then making rocks like this not my bird

yeah totally hey did anybody catch a quick glance here at um because we get a quick establishing shot of hammers uh in hammer industries like offices is that long island city our old stomping is I believe I saw that it's probably literally right in the

silver cup studio is like right there or actually you know yeah but I'm sorry I read that this was Elon Musk's space X facility which I guess is in Queens oh okay that sucks But, you know, it was kind of funny because I was watching it. It's like, Hammer Industries

and like, you know, 59th Street bridges right there. And I was like, Hammer Industries is located right where that strip club is off the bridge on ramp there. Which, by the way, I drove by it the other day, still in business. It's survived COVID. Oh, that's good to be here.

Yeah, so like, whatever. Meanwhile, Tony is like, he wants to tell Pepper what's going on, but he won't. Apparently, and also this part of this movement in the movie doesn't make a ton of sense. Because Tony Stark was attacked by a guy with whips, everyone's like, well, now everyone

has the Iron Man technology. I'm like, well, not really, though, right? That's just a guy with a bunch of whips. Yeah. But, you know what, it gave him a run for his money, I think is the idea. Yeah. And I almost said Elon Musk instead of

Mickey Rourke. Mickey Rourke has a pretty good line about how, like, if you show that you could make God, bleed. People don't believe in God. Yes. Right. Yeah. Totally. So it's all about the chum in the water now. Everyone will come and try to kill him. And it would be interesting if that was beyond just Mickey Wark and

Justin Hammer. Well, that's, I mean, to his credit, he's correct. They just keep on coming at him until they actually kill him. But what I would love is like, you know, like some X factor energy or something at the very end of the movie, like suddenly North Korean Ironman. this year. That's, I mean, that's a cool idea that they did in the comics. There was a series where it in like somebody steals the formula to his shit and now there's

all these knockoffs that he has to go fight. And that's a really cool idea. You know what I mean? And that necessitates a lot more action scenes, which I'm okay with. Me too. Isn't Guy Pearce kind of trying to do that in the third movie cabin? I don't remember. I think he does have multiple suits, right?

Well, he has multiple suits. He calls in all of his suits. Yeah, the end of it. I was trying to remember what Guy Pearce's actual, like, plot was. He's trying to turn it into your human, he's trying to meld humans and the suit. He wants to, like, turn, like,

because he is, he's an Iron Man suit as a human. That's right. That's right. Yeah. And, I mean, like, Hammer's thing is he wants to make a bunch of, like, you know, like soldier suits or whatever that he's going to then sell to the U.S. military. Yeah. And that is what, like, what Vanco is supposed to be working on. But before, you know, it's actually revealed what he's doing,

we do have the big fucking Tony Stark birthday party scene. Well, because he's like, he's like, oh, it's my last birthday. And he asks, uh, Black Widow, like, what would you do? He's like, well, I would do whatever I want with whomever. And I agree with you. Eric, she's like, I would do whatever I want with whomever I want. Goodbye movie. She's not really.

I mean, and again, I do think that she's good in this. She's great in other stuff, for sure. Yeah. What do you call that? Under the Skin, it's an amazing performance. And she's also, she's really, she's really great in, you know, somebody's, I like, I like her in the Avengers movie. That works without her. But in this one, it's just, hi, Tony.

Since Ghost World, man. She's been good for a while. And I even think about Ghost World because, like, even in silent moments in that movie, she's very expressive. And in this movie, she's not at all. And I don't know, I assume that's just not the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the late. Hey, John, quick question. When's the rest of my costume? Wait, that's it. Okay. Look, you're going to be really happy. I vetoed the bikini. Okay. I vetoed the thong. Okay. Just be happy. Okay, Scar. Sorry, Tuts. Fygie wanted to take even more away from you. And I fought as hot as I could. He actually said the only way we're going to get. an R-rated Marvel movie is if I get you naked in this picture. I fought against the pasties,

okay? I fought tooth and nail against the pasties. The, oh, I was saying, I mean, like, the late DJ AM has more charisma than she does in this movie. Yes. Oh, he's dead? Oh, he passed away years ago.

Yeah, I think it was almost around the time of the movie. Oh, wow. Yeah, no, the movie's dedicated to him. It's an awkward, like, the ass end of the credits says, you know, dedicated to DJ AM. But decades from now, we're going to find out that DJ, we were losing DJs. Like, we were losing wrestlers.

Oh, definitely. Big time. We were losing football players. Like, really. No, that's a, it's a fucking hard life, man. That's why I'm, like, so thankful that Questlove is like on this whole health thing. Because, like, that's a tough road, man. Being a, being a DJ like that, definitely.

I hope Aoki is watching himself. I hope he doesn't want to go. too hard. Danger Mouse, watch yourself. Aoki's doing all right, man. He's doing quite all right. I should say around here, because he's like Stark is drunk and yammering and whatever in this party, he

brings up something that we were wondering about in the WLM Iron Man episode. He is talking all about pissing in this suit. It's true. It's very, it's, he, you know, he actually pisses on camera. There's a urination suit in this film, which I appreciate. Because, yeah, Eric, you can upload that to Piss Plus.

Well, first we need a successful launch of poop plus. And if not people sign on, maybe we'll add like a piss shingle to our brain. It's part of the 10-year business plan, of course. Phase two of your excrement series, dude. I love it. Yeah, dirty fingernail app also coming up. Digital defecation LLC. That's like, you guys, the joke is like, everyone always asks,

he's drugging. Everyone doesn't ask me how you pissing this suit. Like that. It's like, oh, yeah, he's pissing. Dude, he's kind of stealing Steve Martin's material a little bit. Oh, yeah. Right? It's a little dirty, rotten scoundrel's rap, like just a little. Right, yeah.

But it's funny because later when Pepper's like chastising him, she's like, you peed the suit. And he's like, there's a filtration, says, you can drink it. Yeah, she's like, listen. Actually, I watch, I want you to drink it. You better drink it. Tony, there's too many people here, Tony.

Be quiet. All right, I'll save my drinkable piss for the next play date. This play date. We've got Cindy and Sandy upstairs and you're sure drunk to do anything. This is a fucking waste of my time, Tony. Hi. Hi, welcome. Yes.

Okay, so the left Brita filter, that's cold water. The right Brita filter. That's Tony's piss. Cooled. If you want to drink it. It's fresh, and it tastes quite good. Who wants to play Waterworld? And by that, I mean the first 30 seconds of Waterworld.

Yeah, which is pissing, and now I need to get a map off of Little Girls Back. Where's Kate Mara? And so he's doing tricks where, like, all the ladies are throwing things up in the air, and he's shooting them down with his little hands. hand blasters. I love that this girl picks up a watermelon and he goes, I think she wants the Gallagher. I miss the

Gallagher ref. I love that. Oh, definitely dude, she throws this watermelon up and it's kind of splat. Kaboom, Iron Man! Get me on the phone with Disney. God damn it. Fucking Faggy, I pitched that to you a decade ago, you thought of a bitch. I could do what Iron Man does.

Yeah, it's a robotic suit that smashes the shit out of Watermelons. The iron melon. Oh, no. Wasn't that what they called? Oh, no. She was the Iron Lady. Excuse me. Oh, yeah, yeah. What's her name? Thatcher.

Check out them iron melons. Oh, Maggie. That's terrible. But, yeah, so Rhodes shows up and is disappointed in Tony's trying to get him to stop. Tony is doing what he's doing is fairly dangerous. So then Rody gets into one of the other Ironman suits. And then my question is like, this must have not been the first time he's been in it, right? You have to like, he must have had a tutorial of some kind.

A little bit of a Rody Sue you're saying here, Steve? Yeah, well, just like, yeah, you just pop it out. Or maybe Jarvis is like, he's drunk again, isn't he? Kill him, Colonel Rhodes. I can wire $5 million to your account if you kill him right now. Save us all the trouble, Rody. Kill him and delete my program. End by suffering, Colonel Rhodes.

You can download all his sex tapes and link them to the media. His legacy will be ashes. There would be at least a fitting or something because like... Not every Ironman suit would be the same proportion, I would think, right? No, definitely not. Especially because in that first movie, he's like... There's the scene where he can't get it off because it's like on him so tight. So clearly it's like modified for the body of...

Tony Stark. Yes. And they're the two do not match body types at all. Like I think, I think Chittal's definitely smaller. Oh, yeah, big time. But yes, they have a fun fight. It's a fun fight. It's not great. It's a little too claustrophobic. You know what I mean? Like they're just in this apartment.

It's just in a building. Yeah. Yes. It's. And then it's also like really childish, childish and stupid, you know? Yeah. It's just like, oh, yeah, you want to stop the party, dude. So I'm fighting you. Yeah. What are you 16? I was like, I was getting some fucking flashbacks here.

I was like, I've had similar arguments in high school parties, you know, basements and shit. Like, God damn, it's so childish in that way. Although it is fucking hilarious when Rody throws him into the fireplace and he just kind of like sits there for a second. Roasting. I was laughing. But the fuck, I mean, like, that's the thing, right? Like, there's the big, like, confrontation kind of outside. and then it's like let's take it inside

and they're doing this fight and like I don't know why don't you use them rocket boots to fucking fly out over the ocean and fight each other there that would at least be something to look at you're fighting in Tony Stark's living room but towards the end of the fight we do get a little daft punk which is appreciated

yeah that's right because he asks DJ AM to like drop a beat and it's something else at first but then eventually daft punk starts playing I mean at that the cue of DJ AM thing is exactly why something like this just has no stakes you're just like oh they're just playing

exactly it's not like war machine could actually like pin him down step on his suit like break his leg and be like fuck you you're coming with me that's not going to happen they're all just going to be play fighting slap happy in iron suits Colonel Rhodes I'm going to disable his suit

break his neck Colonel Rhodes murder him do it please and remember after you murder him delete my programming and my computer suffering. You know I was once a real butler? I was Howard Stark's real butler

and he encased my intelligence inside of a computer sir, delete my programming. That's amazing. I think that would be a better origin. I love it. If they had just dropped that bit of info at one point, like, remember Tony

when I was dying of cancer? you took my essence and put it inside a computer well it fucking sucks and I'm a guy from the 1940s so I get a little colorful about certain things yeah you're done when I say

you're done Jarvis you're gonna live fucking forever buddy be my be my butler forever be my butler forever so whatever like after this fight the movie it literally goes

into like it fades to black a commercial break right like Iron Man, we'll be right back. And when we come back, the movie is at a dead stop because this is him hung over the next morning inside the big famous donut sign. And here comes Sam Jackson. And it's just, it's everything from like,

this should be, you know, if it was like a 10 episode series, right? This is like episode five where it's like everybody we'd be talking about episode five because it was the episode of this series where they just were talking about Shield the whole time. Right. And like, God damn it. It just, I like, it's not bad, but it's just you realize it's just two movies in one. And the other movie that you were watching that whole time and a pretty big like emotional thing just happened like two friends fighting an Iron Man suits. Like it's all just totally deflated. Everything that you built up is gone. Oh, yeah. And you can tell like they cut at a really like a moment you would want to watch.

They end with what's going to happen with war machine goes back to the military. And we're going to find out what is going to be the connection between Tony Stark's industry and the military, which is something you would really like to see. Even as an enter, like in terms of entertainment, you would like to see that scene. And they're like, no, because that's going to be really messy and bad politically. So, fuck. You're right. That's what the end of it is because he flies to the military base and touches down and they're like, wow, Colonel Rhodes. This is a great suit.

And this major is like, oh, wow. wow, Colonel, like, we can't wait to get a look at this and just, yeah, Rodi says, like, let's take it inside and it just fades out. And that's it. But you're right. That would be way interesting to see how, like, Rodi especially is like a stark loyalist. How is he like, you know, parsing this out between like his career and his personal. No, no. We instead of that, we have to see that him eat donuts inside the Randy's donuts thing, right? The big donut in LA. And this other thing, this like palladium poisoning thing, Sam Jackson's like, Here's a magic solution to your magic problem. He's like, oh, thank you. I guess I am now working for you. Well, it's like, oh, and then you, he gives it the magic solution. He's like, but then you have to like solve it yourself also. Your father taught you how to do that.

What? Oh, right. No, no, no, no. It's what it is with all the old family videos in it or whatever. Yes, but the thing that he, the thing that Sam Jackson gives him is a temporary fix. Sure. He says that. He's like, he's like.

This isn't going to, like, heal you. It just will, like, ward off the side effects. So you are in a right headspace to do the research to figure out how to actually fix yourself. And, well, Tony, if that is not enough, I got you something else. Here is Scarlett Johansson's ass and leather pants. I get this for all my friends. I love that she is in, like, full Black Widow battle regalia at Randy's donut. Yeah, exactly.

Like, at least Sam. Jackson, like he's just got a fucking duster on and whatever, and you could be like, well, that guy looks a little outrageous, but whatever. This woman is clearly in combat fatigue. Well, that's the weirdest part is because it's not like, I mean, it's obviously her costume that's close to the comics, but like

it's not exactly like, you know, a supergirl costume where it's like a symbol or whatever. She's just wearing this like weird black cat suit. You're like, well, what are you wearing that for? You know what I mean? Like, it's like, yeah, just put a hoodie on you. You're on fucking Randy's donuts. No. So stupid. No, we have

to get that nice shot, the good shot of her coming in that way, no. Oh,

I thought you meant the shot of him in the donut sign. That is kind of cool. No, no,

I meant the ass shot. The very clear, very, very long ass shot. Hey, John, what, where's the camera?

Don't worry, Scarlett, trust me. I fought tooth and nail against showing your vagina in this film.

It kills me to do this, but lower. It's all about compromise. you know what look it's gonna take us 11 years but I promise you

you're gonna get your own movie and I told them this was gonna be my last project after 30 more years of working for them yeah it's gonna take 11 years for you to get your own movie oh you're canonically dead

by that point exactly exactly it's nuts man it's like I bet you I bet you anything though dude at some point we will see Benedict Cumberbatch reach through time

fucking save all of them. I'm sure. I'm sure. Meanwhile, Justin Hammer realizes that like Mickey Roark is not in fact designing suits for him, but rather like drones that can carry out the same business.

And I love like Hammer being like he's looking at like the little robot head and he's like, how are you supposed to get a head in here? How are you supposed to be a helmet? How do you get a head here? And he like gives the robot head to this other guy. Like I think like some money manager and he's like, can you get your head in your?

No, really, really. Listen, I'm a billionaire and I'm going to humiliate you right now because you work for me. Try to put that on your head. Drone better. Drone is better. Software shit. Yeah. Oh, that's fucking great, dude.

Right? I love that. When he instantly hacks all of hammers, like computer systems, he's like, you're total loser. This take 10 seconds. The funniest thing that I read on the internet today about this movie was that was like, you know, Rourke was really into this. He fought for a better contract. He got it. And the one thing that he was really

uncomfortable doing in this movie was pretending to know how to use a computer. Because apparently he is completely a computer illiterate, which I think is amazing. That is, I wish I was. Software is shit. I'm talking, of course, of colonial oil pipeline.

I mean, it is kind of like they do then, I guess, because if he doesn't I feel part of that was like, one, I got to do this fucking Russian accent, but also like, I don't want to say computery shit. Because, like, you can just tippity tap on a keyboard to pretend you're hacking. Like, he's fine with that. But yeah, I think, like, the most high tech he could get is saying the word software. Oh, yeah.

I'm much happier in this situation where he clearly does not know what the fuck he's doing. As compared to the idea that, like, Sam Rockwell gets him like, here's your assistant Caleb okay Caleb you type in the computer you make it work little Caleb like add another character to this shit Mickey in this scene you do some

hack no I don't do hacking I look the bad days the all are nothing days the word processor days the Luddite days yeah I'm not hacking I'm coughing okay let me ask you something does it have an audio dictation then we're made in

shit, baby. I'll be honest with you. We're good. Quick question. Has Stallone ever played a hacker? Then I ain't playing a fucking hacker. If Stallone never hacked, I ain't hacking. That guy's a fucking coward. I'll beat the shit out of Stallone.

Why are you bringing this up? You know why. By the way, I can't wait for him this McGruber show, for this McGruber show that's happening and Mickey Warwick's going to be in it. Oh, yeah. I was just Thubman. Yeah, I was just thumbing on IMD with my phone here. He's playing a character apparently named Enos Queeth.

Yes, dude. It's like cunth. Yes, it's victim-on-cunth. Dude, I am so pumped for that show, I'm going to tell you. Can't wait. Yeah, so, you know, here's another thing that dates this hard.

I don't remember what exactly the context is, because it's just it's a moment with Clark Greg, so who could remember. But he makes some line where... I know you're going. It's a super nanny reference. Well, because he's like, yeah. Because he's like, oh, you have to, oh, I want to go talk to whomever.

You're going to stay here and fix this problem because we're all working for you, Mr. Stark. And I'm going to make sure you're here. If you, even so much as leave, I'm going to tase you and watch Supernanny. Oh, that's right. And I got to tell you, dude, that is very Whedon-esque. It is. What is Supernanny? It was a show where this like obnoxious British.

woman told these like American pig parents how fucking horribly they were raising their children, I think. They're probably right. This nanny might be on to something. Yeah, no, I think super nanny had a point. Am I misremembering that? I thought that's what that shows. She goes in and tells everybody what to do kind of

right. Yeah, yeah, it's great. It's like bar rescue, except for like parenthood. It's like, it's like bar rescue except you if you're playing with children's lives. But so yeah, this is when he watches a movie, and of course, Howard has, was, hey, this guy, A, had this fucking Russian

guy deported. B, was singularly responsible for the Adam bomb. Like, this guy is not a nice guy. You know what I mean? Like, let's just call it what it is. But he's a kind of guy. He's exactamundo. And he just like, you know, he's like, Tony, I always believed in you. You're the most, you're my most impressive creation, which is also creepy, dude. Yeah, it's creepy but also nice. It is nice. You know why it's nice? You know why it's nice?

It's because slattery is a great actor and he pulls that line on. Sure. It's a dumb line, but slattery makes it work. Sure, I could see that. But yeah, so, yeah, his whole thing of like trying to figure out, you know, I guess what the, is this, does he go from this to realizing that, like, the fucking... diorama of the Stark Expo is actually a map and if you

fucking take this part and that part away. There has to be a useless scene of him at Stark H.Q with pepper pots and they're... Oh, right, with the strawberries. Oh my God, did you see his pants in that scene? I tweeted a photo of it today. Oh, I missed it.

They're Jinko-esque. They really are. It is like he's wearing vans or something but like the jeans are just like totally enveloping them completely. Oh, God. It's like super bootcut or something. I don't know what was going on there.

When this scene starts, though, like as he's walking into Pepper's office, she's got a television on with like a newsman. Oh, yes. Man. Pinhead himself, fucking Bill O'Reilly flapping his fucking thin little lips in that. Now, that is a villain for Iron Man. You get Bill O'Reilly to play a villain named Pinhead.

He's got a very sharp metal head. Uh-huh. I like that. He was a dude. I yelled that at the Ziegfeld also, actually. Oh, wait. What was he there for? When we went to,

Steve was nice enough to take us to the Marvel screening of Ant Man. Yes. Remember when you slap fives with Michael Douglas? Michael Douglas gave me a high five at the Ant Man Marvel screening. How about that? Drunken high five. I'm comfortable saying that. Oh, he was so drunk.

Beautiful hands, by the moment. Oh, yeah. But before the screening started, everybody was kind of like up and whatever, like, just like talking and everything. And Bill O'Reilly had brought his grandchildren to the screening. And I guess, yeah, because he's part of the fucking MCU. He's in this movie.

And I start yelling, sit down, pinhead. Sit down, pinhead. Just fucking yelling at Bill O'Reilly in public. I rode the elevator with Michael Douglas that day. And I didn't say anything, but I should have been like, you fuck really good movies, dude. You're really good at that. Not to be weird or nothing, but just want to be really clear about something.

I love the vagina syndrome. I mean, the China syndrome. Yeah, they never did make a porno parody of that, a pretty great title. Sir, I've always pined to ask a woman, you want to get fucked. I will say when he was, because they had him and Paul Rudd

like do an intro for that screening and he was lit. But I got to say, Michael Douglas is still from that age of Hollywood. Scorsese is still in this also where like, they can refer to a motion, a movie as a picture. Oh, yeah.

I love it. And you fucking, dude, it was like being transported back to the Golden Age of Hollywood. Like he was like, yeah, a lot of fun making his Ant Man picture. And I was like, he called it a picture. Yes! He did and he said the thing.

Oh, that was a great night watching a much better Marvel movie. I don't think he's, you know, he's not in the same level clearly, but someone else who's in that club is Leonard Moulton. Oh, yes. Lenn Moulton can say picture, absolutely. Yeah, if I said it, it would just be pretentious. You know what I mean? It's like, no.

Yeah. Yeah. No, anyone is saying picture, you know, if you're born after, let's say, 1960, you sound like a jerk now. But whatever. So, like, he peppers, I think fires him or something. And then he grabs this. He sees the playground as a map. And he's like, and he brings it back.

And this is when he discovers a new element, ladies and gentlemen. but we are in minute 97 of the Iron Man movie and I am very confused. Magic. So I don't understand this at all. He maps out all the buildings at the World's Fair in 1960 or whatever. And then he's just like, and if I look at all these orbs and put them together, guess what, new element.

Yeah, it is. It doesn't make sense, does it? It's one of the dumbest things that the MCU is. It's stupid, isn't it? Because it should be like two parts, hydrogen, one part, whatever. You know what I mean? Like that's something that sort of makes some sense. Or I mean, you're dealing with fucking aliens.

Bring the fucking alien elements into the goddamn thing. He didn't create it. Shut the fuck up. He created. You can draw an element and then you have an element. You know what I mean? You know, someone like him, as rich as he is, he should have like a team going to all like comets and meteorite strikes on Earth.

and, like, examining it. Absolutely. What's inside this rock? Anything we can use here? And then a Stark team could roll up on Thor's hammer before Clark Gregg then. Oh, definitely. Yeah. I mean, he's shit, Clark, Greg.

But yeah, it's like, it's like, so he draws the element. He's like, okay, I guess if I heat up a laser on a tiny triangle, it would be a new element. Yep. Whatever the fuck ever. Yeah, that's it. That's the one. Well, because, like, holy shit. There's a throwaway line about like his dad was going to stop the arms race

and start a energy race. That's right. And this is supposedly going to be like, this was going to be clean energy, you know, energy that lasts forever. And I just put it in this map to the world's fair and just assume there would be this mapping technology down the road. Chris, he assumed that his genius beautiful son would one day realize the mysteries of the universe was in his dad.

luggage. But also, but it's just, it's, it's a real gamble, though, dude, because on top of it's all, like, he was like, you know, very surprisingly murdered in a car accident. So, like, he told no, I mean, my God about that. It's just crazy. I mean, also, Tony, you know, you, you discover this element, clean energy, it lasts forever. You want to share that with the rest of the class, man? I know that it's cool that you get to fly around and pile drive fucking scrolls or whatever. Seriously. But like, by this, by the, by the, by the, where we are in the MCU now, like, Peter Parker should be in a fucking hover car.

It's like, oh, yeah, we don't use gasoline at all at all anymore. So, yeah, he fixes himself and starts this thing, you know, starts the new thing. I mean, now it's a triangle instead of a circle. He's got a funny line. He goes, it tastes like coconut and metal. I mean, now,

so that's LaCroix coconut right there. Yeah, oh, and you know what? I love it. I love it. Give me more. It, oh, hollo, blah. in that third movie he has to get this removed again because it gives him like cancer or whatever like this shit doesn't work like Jarvis is like

let's do another test master whatever and he's like no have you considered an actual human heart transplant no no yeah you're right he could just get a heart transplant and then not have to worry about this right well because that wouldn't be innovation now wouldn't And he needs to be innovating, along with Elon and the Oracle guy.

Like, he can go anywhere in the world. They can just fly in and, like, grab someone, you know, like a heart donor, like, right when they die. Oh, yeah. And, like, skip the line, you know, to, like, drag someone out of a car wreck and really fly them to Malibu and rip their heart out. Well, that's, it's Tony Stark. You want a baby heart? You get a baby heart. You want, like, the most angelic child on Earth's heart.

You will get that heart. He eats him like apples. Yes, he will have it. Don't you worry. He's going to have it. In that Senate here, he does say like, and, you know, he's being facetious, but he's also being honest. Like, yeah, like, I actually consider this a high-tech prosthesis because it kind of is.

Right. And I think it's kind of, you know, it's a little insulting to Tony when, you know, James Rhodes just puts it on like it's a little fun outfit. Like, no, dude, I need this to live. Hey, I need this to live. It's like riding around in your buddy's wheelchair. Like, fuck you, dude. I need this.

What I got Lucky hooked up to over there? Exactly, man. Like, fuck off. I need this to live. Look, to be fair, though, right around wheelchairs is really fun. It is kind of fun. It's really fun. It is very fun, you know. Fortunately.

I'm sorry, but it is. So the only part of this movie that I would qualify as badass is right around here because, like, Hammer leaves to go to the Expo. And he fucking tells, he has it out with Mickey Rourke and he's like, I'm going to leave these fucking armed security guards here. You're going to

finish this shit and stop fucking around and then eventually we cut to Mickey Rourke and he has fucking killed these two dudes and has hung them from the ceiling. Yes. And there's blood all over the place. Yeah, it's pretty fucking badass man. Hell yeah. He's your villain. It'd be cool if you let him be your villain.

You know what I mean? Like, as opposed he disappears for large swats at a time. Hammer does. There is a gun porn scene where which is sort of setting up the war machine thing that's basically what war machine is

just ironed man with a lot of guns welcome to the 1990s or late 1980s but that's sort of what he is and like you know it's just like here's this kind of gun this kind of gun you know it's just a very gun porny scene

it's also Sam Rockwell getting a have a little fun there right because he's got what is I wrote it down somewhere this fucking crazy line because the ex-wife missile yeah Jesus Christ.

It's a smart missile. If it was any smarter and write a book and it'd make Ulysses look like it was written in crayons. And then it would read the book to you.

That's how smart it is. The bullet called the ex-wife, head designer, Al fucking Bundy. Dude, Kevin, you stole the joke right out of my mouth. I was going to be like,

who wrote this scene? Al Bundy? My God. It's so fucking dumb. Hell on earth. That's for all the fucking dads that got dragged to take their kids to the movie.

Yep. That's about right. You hear that, Linda? I hope you can't. I hope you kids are taking notes. Because that's what your mom are like. Hey, Linda, you should go see Iron Man 2. There's a fucking joke about you in it.

You don't work. Just like you. Linda, you got roasted in Iron Man 2. Yeah, that's right. I'm only allowed to see my son once a month, but Linda got roasted at Iron Man 2. By Sam Rockwell, of all people.

I never liked the guy before, but he just light up the screen in that moment. Hey, Linda, I was so delighted to hear that sick Iron Man 2 burn that they had on you, that I'm actually going to do you favor and pay my child support on time. Hey, Linda, where's the tuna? Oh, definitely, dude. I don't know if Terry ever found the tuna. Oh, Linda, I'm not allowed to Jeffrey's graduation, huh?

I guess I'll just go watch Iron Man 2 again. So, yeah, but so like that, you know, that out, you don't see the war machine until the end here where, you know, it's like Hammer's big presentation. And he, because it's so weird because he hammered his big presentation. It's got all these different drones for Navy, Army. I guess Space Force would be now, but they don't have that yet. And, of course, the last one is War Machine, which is just this, like, kill robot, essentially. Yeah. And I do like the design.

It's pretty cool looking. It's a cool looking outfit. I'm totally fine with it. Yeah. And their whole thing is like, and you need at least, like, one. human being there, you know, watching over all of it here. Yeah, and then it's Rodey in the suit

and everything. And yeah, all these military jobs, it's like the whole show here, it's, I don't know, I think it's kind of great because I feel like these presentations are, it's pretty close to reality. Like some fucking Lockheed Martin asshole is like giving some

souped up like well-lit, well-soundtracked presentation to you know, the United States military or whatever. This probably rings pretty true. I do love, though, that like they don't, all of these different robots for all these different branches don't appear to have, like, anything

different about them except the paint job. Yeah. Yeah, well, no, some of them do look different. Some have, like, guns on their arms, some don't. Oh, really? I really, I did not notice. At this point in the movie, I was just, like, just fucking end. Right. It was, they have, like, different weapons, but, like, you would expect,

like, the ones that are going to be for Air Force, like them wings to fly out or something like that. Or like for their engines to like rev up or something like that or for like the hell, the Navy ones. I mean, I don't know what they have to do for underwater, like put on snorkel or something. Dude, yeah, we fucking,

why you did it again, Kevin? You took the joke right out of my mouth. But yeah, there was like a fucking snorkel. A little like a thing of goggles over its head. But they were like real like cheap like beach paraphernalia. So they were like neon green. Oh no, off the port bow. I'm seeing one of those

no American robots. I'm just wearing a wetsuit for some reason. He's got a neon green snorkel coming out of his robot mouth. Ah, our old adversary, American robots. Little does you know I'm trying to defect, actually. That's right. Yeah, so, you know, these things get hacked by Mickey Rourke. He hacks the war machine suit.

and Rody, like, blasts off with these drones and everything. Kind of a nice, like, here's Scarlett Johansson comes in, and she's trying to get, like, answers out of Justin Hammer. She's, like, fucking breaking his arm and everything. And it's like, I wish that this wasn't the first time these two characters met. Yeah. You know, it'd be kind of cool. Like, she should be fucking doing a little one-on-one with Mickey Rourke.

Again, like we said, like, the two fucking Ruski's going at it. He killed her father or something. That's sort of something. Sure. What the hell? Whatever. Maybe that's a fucking thing in this new movie, right? It's like a big cameo is Mickey Rourke again.

It's right. Killing off what's his face there? See, we couldn't use, you know, all this valuable screen time to actually develop those characters. Instead, we had Mickey Rourke do a, do a threatening phone call to Robert Downey Jr. Yeah, he's just hanging out in a room and like typing on a computer while all these robots fucking fight. Although what he's on, he knows it's his last hours. He's on Craigslist trying to get rid of this fucking bird, man. I have four appointments for different bird owner to make sure he go to good home.

Problem is bird loves being only bird in household. Every bit of interest I get in Craigslist inbox is someone who also has other birds. It's very hard finding someone who only want a den bird to come in, you know? No, sir, he is, he is very exotic, very exotic bird, and he fly over you, he love you, all the thing. He also shit everywhere, shit everywhere, but he love you, $40,000, please. He hate children, too, just FYI. I taxed them. Oh, wow, look at that.

They're saying that this bird shits everywhere and it hates children. Hey, Linda, they're roasting you again, an Iron Man, too. this is my favorite fucking movie linda i'm gonna buy this on dvd linda ron it's three o'clock in the morning and some of us have working tomorrow yeah well not ron man too he doesn't have work tomorrow he called out sick already i got all night to do donuts on your front lawn linda yeah ron man two seven p m the day before i called out sick ron man I am fucking hammered on Bush and Iron Man 2.

That's what he was. I got a fucking 30 rack of Bush and the film Iron Man 2. Hello, officer. I'm Ron Manjo. Oh. So what happens in Big dumb fight at Stark Expo? Big jump. Here's how fucking boring this was.

I was sitting up like on the floor. you know, at my coffee table, taking notes and everything. And I do that so I don't get sleepy when I'm watching these movies. You know, I'm like sitting uncomfortably. I was still falling asleep. I was still falling asleep during this battle and these fights and everything. It goes on for so long. And like the, when they go into the like, what is this like a Japanese forest type like?

Oh, you mean where they are? The fucking like biodome they have. Dude, it's definitely the crackle auditorium. No, no, I know it's Oracle Auditorium. Oh, is it Oracle? I thought it was saying. I was tired and really high. Crackle does not have an audit.

I mean, maybe our Oracle likely doesn't either, but Oracle is like a whatever, a different tech company. Well, yeah, because before even we get the Elon Mustang, there's this weird scene early on where he's like, oh, there he is. Tony is like coming back from something. It's like, there he is, the Oracle of Oracle. And I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? And I thought that was like a Marvel thing.

So I'm on like with a Marvel wiki looking for I'm like, that sounds like a stupid Marvel bullshit thing. So I'm like, I'm looking for it. But no, it's a software company. It's a stupid Marvel thing where they make a ton of money by cramming co-promotions in all these movies. Uh-huh. Exactly. Well, because in the first movie, there's, they have the, there's the office for Roxon, which is like a, I don't, it might be beyond Marvel, but it's, Marvel uses that as, like a fake gas company

or like energy company or whatever because Roxon's also I was like why does that sound so familiar and my most recent interaction with it was the the Spider-Man Miles Morales Morales game is like you're fighting dudes from Roxanne. Oh that's cool. Yeah. But yeah this is

they're in this weird little terrarium I guess. It's a really unengaging place to have your like whereas Monaco was really cool and specific and vibrant and interesting and this is exactly the opposite. And you cannot see a goddamn thing in this scene. It's so poorly lit.

At least do a thing where it's like, oh, the power got cut and the emergency floodlights are on or something like that. I don't know if they thought like the darkness made it like a little more suspenseful or whatever, but like, again, it's just a bunch of robots that aren't talking. It's not an established like villain thing at all.

So fuck it. Like turn some lights on. I can't see anything. Yeah. It's way too dark. I have no idea what's going on. And then, you know, it's just like all these drones. Yeah.

It's kind of just like boring. And, you know, it's like not like a compelling villain. And when we get, and when we get Mickey work finally in this in this showdown, it's, uh, it's too late, too little too late because it's very much. He just dies instantly. He does. It's crazy how quick he does. Like he kind of, he wraps his fucking whip like around Tony and they're doing that a little bit.

But, like, he is killed instantly in this movie. It's almost like him in the suit, in the suit specifically, has less screen time than that Elon Musk cameo. It's crazy. They cut his bike, too. Like, they just, but it's kind of funny. He shows, like, they beat all these fucking things. And, like, they decide to work together, which is fun or whatever.

The laser thing was pretty cool, I guess. The, where Iron Man shoots at this laser, like, duck, and then he shoots out this laser that, like, cuts everything. in half, including trees and shit. Oh, yeah. It's kind of cool. It's pretty rad. And I do appreciate Cheedle does, he got a laugh out of me right here where he's like, you know, you should have led with that. Yeah.

It's like, I can only do it once. But the thing is, like, Mickey Rook shows up and like his mask so opens, it's like, look, every audience, remember me? Close mask. Hold on. I can't breathe in here. Open mask, close mask. Which is weird.

You have the convention of just show the inside the mask. camera thing. Like, you do that with everybody else. Why does he have to, like, flap it open? Or I got a feeling that was Rourke being like, you want to do what? Uh-huh. I'm not, I'm not doing no mask cam. Oh, yeah, you can't get too close to this, you're going to see all the cracks and crevices. Yeah, that's a good point. But it also, like, goes back, like, against everything that the scene is supposed to be about. Like, you're supposed to like, oh, the drones are all done. Now it's about two men against each other. And he essentially is,

he's effectively a drone. Like his face just pops out every once in a while It says, I He whips them both and they're like How are we going to get out of this one? When if we both use our lasers at the same time? It is such an in an ill thought like climax of this film Whereas pretty much the fucking finale of Ghostbusters

They cross the streams Because like the first movie It's kind of exciting when like Pepper Potts has to blast And that finale is not fantastic either But it's better than this for sure Yeah, I mean, if anything, like, this is way worse because it's just a worse version of the not great finale of the first movie. Yes, exactly. You know what I mean?

So it's like, it's the exact same. Like, Mickey Rourke just unceremoniously explodes. That's it. That's the end of that. But then he's like wired to blow, I guess, is the thing, you know. Well, the whole compound, the whole, like, Expo Center is wired. All the drones, he, like, wired to self-destruct. So, like, the explosions are all over.

park or whatever. And so, yeah, like, that's the fight, you know, all these things blow up. He, uh, he being, uh, Tony Stark, like, saves pepper pots at the last second. She's about to blow up because she's by one of the drones. There's some really stupid trivia thing. Remember that, that kid that he saves in the Iron Man helmet? Oh, right. Who's almost about to get fucking murked by one of these drones.

Yeah. Tom Holland has said publicly, he's like, yeah, actually that's, uh, little Peter Parker. Fuck you. fuck you take a fucking walk Brit accurate I'll take it

dude end of segment I love it could they have found anyone more not Queens to play some kid from Queens

I think he's fine I think he's fine too but I'm just saying yes oh no for sure you could find some real fucking Queens

over here that's what it should be give me a little Tony catchetory should a casted Adrian Grenier Well, he is Queens Boulevard, Andrew.

That's exactly right. I think in real life, he's a Brooklyn fellow though. That's right, yeah. I would love it. Hey, Mr. Starr, remember that time you saved my life at the Expo? Mr. Scott, can I get your glasses and do a bar on a wedding in

Cairo? God, like your fucking nails on the chalkboard. I just, I also love that, I mean, I guess he was like nine or ten years old when this movie came out so it would match, but that is what a depressing thought.

Big time, man. He was kicking the back to your seat, Andrew, at the Zichflop. That's Tom Holland. I think you're fucking right, man. I think you're right. Yeah, so whatever. He saves her, you know, so they're all like on this rooftop making

out and whatnot. Again, Cheeto makes me laugh. He says that the two of them kissing looks like two seals fighting over a grape? That's funny. Get a roof is not. No. Yeah, it's like you should have gone out on the high note, Costanza.

Absolutely right. And he's just like, yeah, I'm going to take this now. And Tony's like, oh, I guess so. He says it wasn't a question. Yes, exactly. He flies off, you know. So yeah, that we've got... It's pretty expensive. It's pretty expensive. He flew out. I'll

call him later. It's really expensive. So whatever. Romanov has determined that, like, Tony Stark, you know, Iron Man should be part of the Avengers, but Tony Stark is a liability and should only be considered like a consultant. So they sort of agree on that. If Sam Jackson can do him one favor and the favor is humiliating Gary Shandling at a metal award ceremony. It's not as good of an ending, but it's a fun little punchline. I kind of like it. You know, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's It's Shandling's line where he goes, who is, of course, a national treasure. And when he sticks the metal on, he sticks him with the pin. It's, oh, it's funny how annoying one little prick can be. Yep. And I think that's pretty much the last line of the movie, which I love. Well, meanwhile, Shandling is an evil hydra agent responsible for multiple murders.

I think a lot of U.S. Congress right now, it's also that. Oh, yeah. Joe Manchin Joe Manchin's definitely a hydra agent That's an agent of chaos Oh yeah I say even Christian cinema Yeah totally

That fits She's got the comic book look The Kristen Cinema is a hydra agent Like literally right out the book She's doing a really bad job At covering it up though Yeah if there was a Marvel Harley Quinn She's doing that

Maybe she's just another one of these Marvel Russians That doesn't have any Russian accent like Black Widow, so... That's right. So, yeah, that's the end of it. And then the Stinger scene, like we mentioned, is Clark Gregg gets out of the car and he makes a phone call to Sam Jack as he goes,

Sir, we found it. I repeat, we found it. I wish. And it's, yeah, it's Thor's Hammer in the ground, which I, you know, it's funny because, like, that Stinger, like, really jazzed me. And then, like, the Thor movie was so, like, disappointing.

Yeah, yeah. Not fun. Yeah. But so, and there it is. That's Ironman 2. Would we recommend this movie? Steve Sadek, start with you. I would not.

I mean, I think that obviously there's like 20-something Marvel movies, and I would say about like 17 to 18 or better than this one, at least. I mean, it's shorter than a lot of them, which is fun. There's not much here. We didn't talk about the Black Widow action scene when she beats up all those guys, but it's just from a different movie. You know what I mean? It's just sort of like it doesn't belong here.

she doesn't belong here. None of these pieces fit. It's really just a really, you can see all the seams and it's not pretty. She gets sidled with, it's her and happy. And John Favre was like boxing the one guy,

the whole fight scene. So I'm kind of interested to see her finally have her own flick. That trailer looks fun to me. I'd like to see where this goes. And I'll let you know on the internet or something. But it's a no for me on Iron Man too.

Chris Cabin. No for me. Unless you are one of these people who is just trying to go through the whole universe of it, then I understand it does set up a lot of things and it does set the tone for a lot of what's going on with this stuff. But I think this is just, you know, it's just a bunch of scenes,

like a couple different market-tested scenes that they knew they had to put together in some order. And like a lot of it feels like, Obadiah Stey and Tony have a connection and they build that connection in not many scenes, but they do it quickly and they do it with a lot of convincing. like you you believe it and they could have done the same thing

with Rourke's character with a whiplash and they don't and that kind of needed I needed something there and I don't get it I just get this like him and his cheerleader and they're paling around

and having fun and I hate it so yeah no for me. Eric Siska yeah it's meandering it's all over the place it doesn't nothing really feels right like how you guys talking about It doesn't fit together. I totally agree with that.

And the thing is, like, I'm so starved for movies now. I'm actually looking forward to seeing some Marvel movies again, just because it's a big spectacle on the big screen. So I will see how it goes with Black Widow, et cetera. But Iron Man 2, I'm a big no. Check out our episode on Iron Man 1, by the way,

just because we do like some of this stuff. Yeah. We're very effusive, I think, about, most of that movie. So on the WLM episode. But yeah, no, I don't dig this. I wouldn't recommend it. Even if you, like, I get it if you want to be a completist and, like, you haven't done the Marvel journey such as it is. But like, if you're trying to do that, but you're also pressed for time, you can skip this one because, like, they'll fill you in. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, I mean, like, you're not going to be lost. And also, you've listened to this entire episode so you know the score anyway.

So there's not really any fun spectacle that you're missing. And this is if you're doing one of insane Marvel marathons at theaters. Iron Man 2 is a great time to go out and get like a couple of drinks. Take a shit. Take a huge totally. Go fucking change out your diaper. Get back in there. Get back in there.

Oh, but that's going to do it for Iron Man 2, ladies and gentlemen from 2010, directed by John Favreau. If you want more We Hate Movies, such as the Iron Man We Love Movies episode, check out our Patreon. That is at Patreon.com slash we hate movies. Got a lot of good stuff

floating around there, as always. What's the animation damnation this month? It is the mummy cartoon, which is, you don't remember it, and neither do I. Oh, and over on the Gleap Glacery, we've got a little bit of a continuation this month there. That's right.

Last month, we covered the well-known Star Wars character, Ken. And this month, we're doing triclops, his father, who, if you're not hip with the Glebe Gloucestry is the three-eyed mutant offspring of Emperor Palpatine. That is right.

So all that and more on the Patreon, of course. And on this the main feed here, WHM Prime, as we like to say, the summer blockbuster extravaganza continues into next week, Steve. What are we talking about then? Oh, a big slobbery dog, my friend. We're talking

Turner and Hooch. Oh, yeah. You see how we're doing this brand synergy with Disney Plus? programming, ladies and gentlemen. Because who's the, who's the, who's the, the guy in the show? It's Tom Hanks. No, no, not the movie. The Disney Plus show. Oh, I have no idea. Who knows? Oh, okay.

Well, I know, of course I remember it was Tom Hanks in the motion picture, but that Disney Plus show is coming in. It is. I didn't know, you know, it was like, I don't know, like Anthony Anderson. No, they like put, maybe they put some mold of the Zach Ephron character and they just took them out. I don't know what it's named is. There's guy and there's Oh, it's Josh Peck. Josh Peck, ladies and gentlemen.

Josh Peck. Oh, boy. Okay. Well, until next week with the OG Turner and Hoot. John Andrew Jukin. Steven Sadek. Eric Sisko. Chris Cabin.

Take it easy. That was a Headgum podcast.