We Hate Movies - S11: WHM Mail Bag: The 2020 Holiday Extravaganza

Episode Date: December 23, 2020

On the final Mail Bag of the year, it's the annual Holiday Extravaganza! On this episode the guys answer questions from the audience; drink some beers; tell some ridiculous stories (some based around backyard wrestling); and read letters about ghost sex, a movie-going divorced dad, Rudy Giuliani being a filthy pig at the movies, and much more! If you have questions for the gang or want your weird/wild story read on the air, write into the mail bag: [e-mail]! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast. What is going on. What is going on one and all? welcome welcome welcome to the we hate movies holiday mailbag i'm andrew jupin join by three other of my fellow santa's helpers we have even saydak so be it which is my favorite part of that whole thing it indeed uh eric siska people chicken my friends and of course canna claus himself chris cringled chris cabin oh hi hi we are here to read your letters uh tell us stories a some cues drink some alcohol of course i got a little um uh high west rye in my eggnog

you know uh what do you guys drinking uh currently i've got myself a uh a very nice a rosee but i've got a bit of a dessert beer uh mad elf oh rogues nice dude just in time for the season i just got the regular mega boss i pa from newberg brewery which is a great place in Newburgh, New York. And a cabin, you got tap water there, buddy? Yeah, no, I got a seltzer tap water and a, what is this? A tall

glass? Scrag Mountain Pills from Lawsons. Oh, Lawson's great. Yeah, I like Lawsons. So we're pumped. We got a lot of cool letters to read, some stories to tell. Like I said, some cues to A. But first, we have

some big news. Some Ds to S as well. This is very important. This is bigger than the Star Wars news everyone in the chat relax. Listen to this news. Yeah, so here we go just really quickly. I think the best way to tell is to show so internet community

at large, three, two, one that is right, look at this glorious image here. We are doing a live show on the internet exclusive to the internet, I should say, talking about Terminator Dark Fate, which is pretty

rad. Yeah, it's going to be one of our live shows. It'll be like this, and you'll be able to watch us do it. It's not going to be like an audio-only experience. You could watch us, you know, I guess if you want to watch us, you should want to watch us, I guess. But the rad thing is, tickets are on sale now

and I don't want to use that graphic. I want to use this, Gravy. You go to On Location Live.com slash WHM. Pick up those ticks. And the date of that show is January the 15th. Is that right, gentlemen? That's right. It's a Friday night. It's a Friday night, ladies and gentlemen.

We're starting at 9 o'clock Eastern on that Friday night, so it's going to be rowdy. And there's going to be a Roshaman-esque retelling of the events that led to me, Andrew, and Eric seen this in Los Angeles in a very nice theater. Yes, yes. All three of us were at varying stages of intoxication. So each story is layered in different. but we're not going to say it here. You got to attend the show.

Attend the show. And quickly, it is not a live commentary or a watch-along. It's going to be a live episode like where we're just kind of talking about the movie kind of a thing. I saw that in the chat. And I believe, Eric, this is worldwide, right? Canada shouldn't have a problem. Somebody who's a little nervous. It's worldwide.

It is worldwide. If you were in the UK or anywhere, supposedly you should be able to get access to this. And if you don't let us know, because then we were lied to. We got lied to. We got led down the primrose path. So that again is on location live.com slash WHM. 9 p.m. Eastern Time on January the 15th. I'm going to say it, man.

It's the first show of 2021. That's going to look forward to. Exactly. And we'll have that we'll do it. It's going to be great. I'm just excited to just do a live show. We haven't done one in fucking forever. Totally.

Even the, we've done like streams and stuff, which have been super fun. But like it'll be nice to have that. energy of like, oh man, if we fuck up, people are going to see. Absolutely. Steve, if I'm not mistaken, while we were seeing that, you were seeing marriage story with your brother? I was, yes.

I did the right move. I will have seen that movie the first time when we do that movie. Nice. Now, here's something I just want to get out of the way right now. I have to watch Dark Fate now. No, you don't. You just listen to us talk about dark fate. Don't give that

away yet. Oh, fuck. You want to get that $10 before you say you like it or not? Please still buy tickets. Hey, come back to this alley. Give me $10. I'll tell you if I liked it or not. Yeah. And, you know, that is not to say that, you know,

virtual shows like this are replacing all of 2020, 2020, 2021. We are still optimistic, folks, that we can get back on the road at some point. But you know what? This is something for the meantime. So it's going to be a lot of fun. gentlemen i think we should get to some letters oh my god yeah we should watch a really quick question because like okay people are a little nervous what do we all think about the star wars news that everybody got a pump in around let's get into that what happened

star wars is hiring us to write and direct a sitcom really exciting yeah awesome oh great guys i should have read the text i didn't know yeah it's called canteena buds everyone everyone is like this idea i would love to do that but everyone everyone in the internet is so excited about Hayden Christensen coming back to play Darth Vader and I'm like, how are they going to see him? How? Yeah. Is that a guy in a suit? Like what does that even mean? Are we not doing

Darth Vader's voice anymore? Or is he popping that helmet off like Boba Fett? Like, oh, hey. I don't understand how that's going to work. Yeah. Because like, you don't want to be like, Luke, I'm your dad or something. Like, you know what I mean? That's not going to help because that guy's voice sucks. Yeah, it's going to be

auto-tuned to shit in some way. Oh, look at this really quickly. You know what? I got to put the Vanessa says my son five thinks Andrew is Santa We're all his helpers Let him keep thinking And also like David Prowse is now dead RIP Although that guy might have been racist

That's something that we're not talking I didn't know that He had a big stink when he found out that I mean A he was pissed that he wasn't the voice of Darth Vader Because he thought he was going to be Which is kind of understandable right Oh for sure But then apparently there was other stuff of like

And they got a black guy to do it And that's where it gets a little handshakey Oh, is there right? Yeah. Not to speak ill of the dead, but I do that every day anyway. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I wasn't there, man. But also, like, I was thinking about this, though, too,

it would totally screw over Jamesville Jones unless there was some sort of, like, royalties deal. But, like, I feel technology has come along enough of a way that, like, you can just get a synthesizer to make it sound like Darth Vader. Yeah. Hayden could act those lines. I guess that's true.

Anyone could play Darth Vader. I could pay Darth Vader, you know, just go. Yeah, exactly. This is where you need the video element for this show. Yeah. You're listening to this in the future. Go to the video on YouTube. It's archived there, and I'm going like this.

Eric's shoulder waddle is just phenomenal. It is. Yeah. Yeah. Otherwise, you know, yeah, pay the $10. Come to our Terminator Dark Fate show virtually. And maybe I'll do it again because Terminator kind of walk like Darth Vader's. A little bit.

I guess it depends on the Terminator, but yeah, sure. Yeah, I don't know. There's a lot of Star Wars stuff to discuss, and I feel like it's teeing up various side shows that we'll be able to create over the years. Who knows? Let's sleep on the Star Wars for right now, and we'll talk about it on Friday when we cover the new episode of the Mandalorian. Ooh, a little tease there like that. And if you're not listening to the Mandalorian half hour, that is an hour-long show. At least an hour-long.

80-minute show. Let's call it what it is, an 80-minute show. That is exclusive to our Patreon, patreon.com slash we hate movies. Maybe we should retitle it to like the Mandalorian double half. Sure. I mean, it's got to get a new name probably. I'm going to spill some tea here. Honestly, our episodes are getting longer.

People have noticed it. It's we've gotten nowhere to go. We've got literally nowhere to go. And no one's got trains to catch. We miss our friends. We have the house madness, everybody. Exactly. So we'll probably do like a three hour episode on like whatever.

Dr. Doolittle or some nonsense. You know what I mean? It's a 40-half-hour episode. All right. So Chris Cabin, who's starting us off, y'all? Eric is going to be starting us off. I like that. Opening act. I hope you guys are good.

Oh, shit. Monkey steals your peach. Hey, guys. First, I want to say that I love the show. Thank you. I've been a fan since 2012. Me too. when I almost got into a car accident

laughing at the Dracula 2000 episode man if you died because you were laughing at something we said I'd feel terrible we have gotten this a few times when people say like I almost got into a car wreck because of the show and I wonder how many souls are we responsible for because you're ready we've heard it enough where at least somebody must have been Somebody, you know, didn't come back from that. Like, Eric, Eric, Eric, before you do it, you have to share all those souls with all of us in the afterlife.

You don't get them all. It's just you have to split them. I mean, when they say comedian kills, sometimes they do. Well, could you imagine, like, you know, you're fucking driving down the road and then, like, you're laughing at something and you'd, like, go off a fucking barrier, right? And then, like, the last thing you hear is me going like, oh, geez, I'm Jim Baloochie. That's, I'm sorry if that happened. And like St. Peter is like, a podcast.

That's all right. In that case, you're not even doing that. You're doing a bad Gerard Butler's Scottish accent and Dracula. Yeah, oh, right. Ack! I've also been doing Taekwondo. since 2007. Oh, this is the letter, by the way,

not me. I am a second degree black belt in the Chung Doe Kwan School. When I heard you request people to write in as whether Monkey Steals the Peach was a real move on the Remo Williams episode. I was all set to write

in to assure you that the technique is indeed real. Ooh. That's grabbing nuts. folks folks now we have the documents monkey steals the peach is real ripping out testicles look now I want to tell you we have this chicken bone broth that will make you it'll make you survive three lifetimes is what it will do so buy it from

you need those brain flex pills mix it into your soup we got it in two powers we have a new queue drop apparently the monkey steel the peach is real and Trump is going to do it to Joe Biden, who's already been arrested, by the way. He's in house arrest. You just don't know it. What you are seeing is a hologram walking around. Catch him in bed with a peach thief. Biden wants your bunch of peaches.

Don't let them steal them. We practice the groin-ripping technique in several of our forms, starting at the purple belt level. Oh. When I was first learning those forms in college, my instructor was a personable and gregarious. child of the 80s who influenced me to stick with Taekwondo through his supportive approach to instruction. And right there, that is someone who saw a karate kid a lot as a kid and then was like, I can do this for a living.

Okay. All right, guys, do you want to learn how to do a straight punch or do you want to learn how to rip some nuts? And it was a yeah, rip some nuts. Rips some nuts. Rips some nuts. Now I'm legally, I'm legally bound to tell you this is supposed to be a destabilizing attack. what it is is ripping a ball out he would refer to the technique as a groin grab groin rip and yes monkey steals the peach I'm glad that it's being used

with that full name yep as I said I was all set to write in the mailbag and mentioned it to him offhandly after our virtual class tonight when he replied that the name is indeed okay guys someone is someone reading along

with me right now what is this word Someone helped me out. I'm not an English person. Apocryphal. Thank you. What does it mean? What's the definition? Fake.

Yeah, like just sort of like an idea, like a story that like kind of like a tall tale. Well, folks, you know who you're writing into, right? It sounds like four or four knew that one. Yeah. Oh, are you in your $15 words? No, these are just answered. Chris got it. It was like trivia.

And then you were like, yeah, I knew that too. I knew that, too. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I do that. I mean, it looks like a Star Wars name right here. So you should have got... Grandmoth, Apocryphal? Oh, actually, hey, not too bad, dude. That's the next Disney Plus show.

Apparently, his father, who taught him Taekwondo, was a huge fan of the Destroyer book series that Remo Williams was based on. Oh, boy. His father was very excited when the movie came out, and Remo Williams was a perennial movie in his house growing up. That sucks. That really

fucking sucks. He was like one of the 20. Yeah. When my instructor started, I think there's like, I think all the 20 listened to the show too because we got a lot of people saying that they like grew up on that movie and it kind of, I dodged a bullet. That's child abuse. Incredible.

When my instructor started, started teaching, he began calling the technique monkey steals the peach as a joking reference to the movie. And of course, he never bothered to explain that us college kids. I always believe that it was the authentic name for the technique. I thought

it was. And even referred to it as that way in front of more of my junior students when I was teaching. Not only did Remo Williams invent that name for the move, what the fuck. But that's me now. You're having your mind blown, dude. My brother had one of those like

karate books or whatever and it was in there. And I feel that monkey steals the peach. It says monkey steals the peach. I don't know. I think this is, it might go both ways. I want more dojo people to write in. Now,

we have to disavow this year letter writer because we know that monkey steals the peach is the real deal. So, okay, but I've played a permanent part attaching that name to it in reality. So in answer to your question, the technique itself is real,

but the name is not. Thanks for reading. I hope to see you when you were turn to Philly. Alex. There you go. Yeah, I do think that you know, I'm with Eric here. I very rarely side with Eric, but if you saw it in a book and you knew that from that book,

it's not just a regional thing, you know? It's, uh, well, did anyone ever go to a karate class? It's my question in this room. No. I'm so glad I asked. I don't know Chris Kevin's karate story. Oh, it's great, Kevin. The floor is

yours. Oh, no. I, I took karate classes for like a year. and then I stopped doing it. That's it. Wasn't there something about like you went because there was like a coupon and then you never went back? Oh no, no, no, no, no. A whole year you tried to do this?

Yeah. Oh, I thought it was one and done. I got like, I forget what the, um, how you ascend after white, but like I got like the second level. Oh, yeah, I got a yellow belt. and uh you're a yellow belly too i am i'm a yellow bear that's where you stopped going my yellow led better no i i never did my uh my niece actually takes taekwondo now oh wow because i feel like it's kind of a thing that you just like throw kids into so they're not home all the time

uh my buddy's dad was is in the jiu jitsu hall of fame and when i was in when i was in uh like it was 13 years old. We're all just sitting around being jerks. And I was like, you know, I'm going to test your dad. And there was a knife in the room. And I literally went after him with the knife and I was disarmed in seconds. I mean, I wasn't going to stab him. Dude, did he throw you to the floor and like break some teeth?

No, he just, I was on the floor in like second. Really? Yeah. Dude fucked you up, huh? Exactly. The martial arts work. They did. Exactly. And you know, I wanted to spice it up. So I brought a knife the proceedings for sure and I believe I know who you're talking about this guy was

also a police officer yeah he's a police officer so yeah this guy was ready to drop me is he in the new alien Nicholas Cage movie Jiu Jiu Jitsu no but I want to find out I want to know exactly what that movie's about I really am interested well if he's the king of Jiu Jitsu I would hope he would be in a movie called Jiu Jitsu I just I can't believe

I mean Steve I saw something for that movie like ages ago and like nicholas cage puts out eight movies a year so you know there's no reason to pay attention right away and then you sent that description and i was like aliens are in this movie i thought it was just like that you know sort of like that matt damon movie it's nicholas cage you're just going to be waiting around for like another mandi every once in a while he's he'll keep doing that every once while he's doing the new um uh sean sono movie uh really yeah he's doing it's him and that Ed Screel guy from

Deadpool. Oh, Ed Screel, I believe. Yes, yes, that guy. See, we all knew that, Chris, you idiot. Wait, who? He's the bad guy in the first Deadpool. Oh, who could fucking remember. Okay, yeah.

To answer everybody's question, that is a cat right behind me on that side there. Oh, that's how that goes. There he is. That's a sleeping cat. He's not going to move. he's not what it is he's sleeping oh man put him to bed put him to bed

uh all right who's who's up next y'all i believe this is me yeah okay uh the letter is my life for you jigsaw oh geez geez louise hello uh we hate movies and thank you for your incredible spook tocular it should be tukeler

but it is all of us knew that That's a different took, dude. That's a Canadian to. But as a T-O-Q-U-E, that's T-O-K-U-E, that's T-O-K-O-N-O-N-O-K-E. Which got me and so many other through a really fucked-up October. Thank you so much. Totally.

I wanted a shared experience with Saw 2 15 years ago. I was in grade 11, or as the Americans say, a junior grade 11. Oh, here we go. We say grade 11 as well. Well, we do it stupidly. We go, 11th grade. yes and also and taking what turned out to me my favorite class in high school and by the way favorites got a you in it the fuck of you inside of a word is that a pink floyd album please if i hit that i'd have to ask you guys what it was

how do you say that how do you say favorite what an idiot what an ignorant idiot i am uh class in high school world religions the teacher was a great man named Mr. Heatherton, Heatherenton, who was enthusiastic about all things history, religion, and culture. Part of the class curriculum was to take us on a two-day trip to Toronto to visit places of worship and cultural centers from various different religions, so we can expand our teeny milk-toast worlds a bit. Wow, that's a really good class. Yeah, that's pretty awesome. My world religions teacher from high school got arrested for offering iTunes gift cards. exchange for sexual favors from a student. Yeah, he never took us on no field trips, though.

Oh, my God. The new Taylor Swift for Hanji. Well, back then, what would be it? The new Lisa Loeb for us. Indeed. Oh, wait, I'm all out of $50 gift cards. So I got to 25, you better make it worth my while. Oh, man.

Disgusting. Don't know your fashion pub kids is a double? record. That's a lot of tracks. That's a lot of tracks. If a creep ever gives you a gift card like that, while you're on iTunes, why don't you give us a rating and review, maybe five stars?

Our teeny milk toast swirls a bit. The trip was awesome for many reasons. Besides the tours, we stayed in a hostel downtown and our teacher also made sure we had plenty of time, some time to roam around Chinatown and Kensington Market. Nice. To try foods. We never tried

before. It seems small, but this is a big deal for us. For sure. Yeah, like, you can get very insular in high school. You know what I mean? I don't think I had Indian food until I was like 19 years old. What an idiot I was. Yeah, no, I very, very late in life for a lot of that stuff. And again, iTunes gift card.

Okay? Like, your teacher did a great thing here, folks. Another thing we couldn't get in our hometown was a giant movie, was giant movie theater screens. And Mr. Heathering, Heatherington. Just call him Mr. Belvin. dear, dude. I knew

I knew it was Heatherington. I think slightly before you. I'm going to start going Mr. H. Oh, yeah. It was cool. Oh, Mr. H. It was cool enough to get us, uh, take us to see Saw 2 at Scotia Bank Theater, which in retrospect might have detailed, derailed all of an attempt to make us more cultured. Saw 2. I mean, I would just

I don't know, see a horror movie for all the kids. A little question mark there. I don't know. I got to say the, this is, this email is sending me because the Scotia Bank Theater is where they would do all the press screenings for the Toronto Film Festival. And I'm very curious, if the letter writer or any other Torontonians out there

are watching right now, let me know in the chat what they're doing with that theater. Did they close it down? Are they demolishing that building? Inquiring Mind wants to know. I still think it was really cool for a straight-laced teacher to get us tickets to a slasher movie on a school trip. And for the record, he did

not go to seesaw to. And instead went alone to see the Canadian War movie. Oh, this is a tough one. Passion Dale. Passion Dale. Guys, come on. You know what, man? Come on.

But I had no interest in Saw 2. Not because I was too good for it. I've never been too good for a movie, but I promised someone I'd go see it with them the next week on a date, and I thought it'd be less fun if I do the twist and kills already. Yeah, now you're in a tough situation. Absolutely. Oh, so hang on.

Here we got someone better than us. Pasha. Dale. That's exactly what I said. Very close. Eric had it right. I heard it right. He had it immediately.

Well, Bluff and known all the twists and kills already. After the opening trailers, which included the trailer for Hostel and scared the shit out of my classmates, I went to do more exploring around King West. After reuniting him with my classmates who, of course, I left, who of course assumed I left because I couldn't take the scary movie. I grew concerned that Jigsaw had radicalized some of my classmates. What? Particularly the boys. Well, yeah, surprise. Boys are stupid.

They spent the whole night talking about how Jigsaw actually had some good points. And that after seeing Saw 2, they thought it was imperative that they would really appreciate life more. Are you serious? Look, is it better to help people get over their addiction? a jaw-ripper device. Well, I mean, to be fair. It's just a better use of funds. In Canada, the most dangerous thing that it can happen is being trapped in a room somehow,

like locking yourself in in your closet or something. Even after some of the guys busted out the cheap, shitty beer they'd smuggled in and started getting shitty high school drunk, they were still trying to analyze whether or not certain characters of the movie deserve to die. Yikes, dude. Yikes times five, ladies and gentlemen. the biggest thought running through my head was get me out of here after going to six separate temples, synagogues, and mosques

it appears that the word of saw was the most influential religion on the subset of my classmates. Back at school for a short period of time, the phrase, want to play a game, was the edgiest edgillard thing you could say to someone. It was exhausting.

I considered, it was so exhausting. I considered canceling the date, canceling the date to go see it myself. but my but high school me was a real beggars can't be choosers kind of gal oh geez uh eventually my classmates moved on for the relative saw but the obsession with torture port carried over to hostel someone uh even briefly came to the coolest kid in our grade when he downloaded a rip of wolf creek and started selling burnt tv burnt tvs to the school kids at two dollars a piece what was that movie outlawed in canada i mean i know i know it's australian but what was the problem there

It's a pretty nasty one. I don't know. Never thought. Oh, it's, you know, don't. Just don't. It's not very good. I eventually transferred to an art school the next year, and even, but even in my 30s, I don't understand how one piece of pop culture to take over my school was,

wasn't a song or a new sexy TV show or a hot band, but a terribly made torture porn movie that helped take one of the worst subgenres, the 21st film in the mainstream. Do you guys, do you guys, do you guys? know how people took certain movies way do you guys know people who took certain movies way too seriously and did it ever get to a point where it concerned you keep up the great work b r

b arthur wrote in thank you so much for me on the grain i loved you in the holiday special of star wars ma we can't go to seasore too ma you know how you get when you see a man's head in a bear trap i know you're a huge tobin bell fan

we can't do it and then Blanche is going on a date with a creepy old guy in a hood and he's like he wants to play a game it's going to be exciting oh my God Sophia he wants to play a game with me he puts the hood pack and it's actually Tobin Bell

all right Blanche the only way you're going to get out of this situation is if you don't have sex with the guy from empty nest even though that is what you love to do I'm going to lock you in this golden palace did she fuck that doctor I think he

no I think he was fucking Dorothy actually he was he I think he wasn't marrying her possibly I yeah I don't remember but I think that might be right we're on season six now so we're almost there we got one more apology no I already knew how the show ended it's fine oh so taking movies way too seriously well you know there was always like Jim Carrey kid

so at any point whenever like the next one was released that was the one that was the one that someone was taking too far. Yeah. I think I took Star Wars too seriously since I even had books of like, here's the diagrams of the spaceships, everyone. Yeah, I kind of had those with the enterprise. I thought a lot of people who were like really insane about like adaptations that

they got it wrong. Like they picked the wrong thing. They got very like obsessed about that, that aspect of it. Oh, sure. But nothing like too insane like that. That's pretty disturbing. I got to say. You know what someone in the chat just reminded me of? Because, Chris, we did also have these in our high school Matrix Kids. Oh, Matrix Kids. Yeah. Describe this for me. So they came to school every day, dressed like Neo, almost, Neo and Trinity, like, specifically in the scene, like, towards the end where they, like, you know, go into the lobby of the building and it's the big shootout.

I wouldn't be going into high school in the late 90s or early early odds with a large trench coat on. it was like the leather or faux leather black duster those fucking terrible sunglasses where it was just like nose clip it didn't have any like ear clip on it you know yeah we had a couple of Matrix kids

they wouldn't it happens kids are stupid they latch on to the nearest thing to them and it's it's a phase but Saw 2 I mean to be moved by Saw 2 really does disturb me I mean I like you know

even Jigsaw had some good ideas. That's kind of, I feel also like if there's discussions about like on this world religions field trip where you're discussing like who among that cast maybe did

deserve to die. You got to tell that teacher. Yes. Mr. Hetherington we got some, you know, people are making two kill lists on the field trip. I don't know. That's a little rough. Look, maybe it sounds a little crazy to put

people in a pit full of syringes. But maybe that's what they need, okay? Ian in the chat makes a good point. Oh, the craft girls. Ian in the chat makes a good point that there might be Joker kids now, and that's just going to be gross. Oh, yeah.

And Joker kids, the thing that really stinks is like outside of the Halloween costume. Yeah. I got really in the fight club for a long time. Were you wearing like Tyler last week? Tyler Durdens like big jacket that he has?

had there. Were you wearing that around? No, I had yellow sunglasses because I thought I looked as cool as Brad Pitt, which I'm sure I did. Oh, I think so. I think so. I definitely think so. And we, like, there was, we would do, like, bullshit fight clubs in my friend's basement and that just didn't work out.

Yeah. You'd like actually fight each other? Yeah, man. Because you're, you, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? What are you going to do? I went for reasons. I did a backyard wrestling for a little bit. Really? And you learned karate to take it to the next lab. Yes, yes.

No, this is way after the karate area. Did you steal a peach there when you were in the backyard? I do believe I stole a peach or two. How intense are we talking? Because some of that backyard wrestling got fucking crazy, dude. Was anyone getting run over with a car? No, I think I got hip with a chair like twice. Oh, man.

And I was not around to see it. Can we see? No, no. This is with only Andrew will know. with Mikey D. and Brian M. Oh, okay. A little, little BA before Andrew. Yeah, okay. Those names have been changed to

protect the innocent. Yeah. They're not right. When we're vaccinated, I think we're at the back of the line. Oh, yeah. Probably next winter. It's like literally everybody in the country and then professional podcasters. Oh, once you find out that

you did backyard wrestling, you go right to the back. I mean, you would get kicked. You punted right But what I'm saying, Chris, is when we're back in studio for real, we should hit you with a chair. Oh, that's a great idea. Yes, exactly. You know, preferably like when you're taking a bath and you don't hear us coming, like on the Simpsons. One of our Canadian friends writes, and Martin says, we had Ginger Snapp's girls up here.

Great cookies. Great cookies. Martin or Martin, either or. Martin. up in Canada, I don't know about Martin, but maybe. You never know. Someone says this might be Tunis. I was also an Anastasia girl, I'm not going to lie.

What is that involved? You're dressing up in a bunch of gowns and fur coats and then your family's murdered. Are you just Russian? Are you just Russian? I mean, yeah, or did you, was there a guy in your school that you kept trying to kill over and over again, but he wouldn't die. Is that how that works? Maybe. I don't know.

Oh, man. I love it. Okay. Ooh. Okay. This next email, Chris Cabin. And ladies and gentlemen in the studio audience, strap in. Ghost sex. Already.

All right. Hey, W.H.M. I wanted to share this horrifying tale about a kid I rode the bus with while in middle school. based on the title you probably know where this is headed absolutely you do not no you don't because instantly i just thought like oh it's a story a nice story about two friends watching ghostbusters or the grouper happened you finally saw it great i wish it was ghostbusters and they have sex because busting makes them feel good it's true

oh yeah that part too marie currie sucked me off come back here baby oh she's gone Aaron and I wrote the bus together during middle school. He was small, strange, had too much confidence, and lied all the time. I know that guy. When did you change your name to Steve? No, come on. When did I ever have confidence?

Never. Right, that was the dead giveaway. This makes me think of TRL guy from our past, Andrew. Oh, oh, yeah. A guy who lied about going to be on TRL in a week. And it carried over from high school into college. And it was not going to be on every week. He was going to be on TRL, but it never happened.

It got pushed back. Oh, it kept getting pushed back. And the thing that was so stupid for nothing. And the thing that was dumb as hell was the guy was an incredibly, incredibly talented musician. Yeah. And it was fun. And we loved watching him play. He was incredibly talented.

But then it was just, I'm going to be on TRL. And it's like, dude, no, you're not. nobody thinks that's going to happen yeah you know the show's been off the air but i've been if you ask them this day they're still just trying to decide on a date yeah one day it was the paperwork you know it's the bureaucracy yeah the balls in the air court right now yeah exactly uh okay uh usually these lives were small and insignificant he said bruce willis was his uncle uh that he oh but it's that's kind of a belief kind of, you know what I mean?

Steve, because it's not like... Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. He was my uncle, yeah. Okay, that's not two out of the ballpark. Next one in that he owned land on the moon.

Which he proved with the sad certificate made on Microsoft paint. Oh, that's cool. One need to the moon, please. Try telling that to the Chinese government when they own it. Signed the president.

with a z and that he could go to local bars whenever he wanted and get served he was 13 i need a little more detail on that one like why like because you're saying he was like a small weird looking kid so like was he small and weird looking to the extent they'd look like danny devedo and that's why he wasn't getting carded no i think i think he was just like a little kid that wanted to feel big so he's like yeah i never get carded because i'm so cool Bruce Wilson is my uncle and I own the moon That's such a problem Kids like that need to be beaten

I say that's a joke if you don't like me saying Well like tiny Napoleon kids Like you don't need any of that stuff You can get those certificates though But it's a scam Of course it is Charles Park You know I own a piece of the moon

It's called my ass I've got food from the moon that it was very good. I could show you where an American landed back there if you want. Mary, here we go. Mary, Mary, I own the moon, Mary. I'll bring it down for you.

And Bruce Willis is my uncle. Mr. Potter is going to give you a loan so I can buy the moon. Here we go. It's going to be on Total Overcrest Live. Snail says Bruce Willis is my uncle actually. Oh, well, you know, I'd get us. Photo evidence. We all have movies at gmail.com or it didn't have it.

Hi, Rory Willis. Yeah. We don't believe you. Rory Willis. I hope you found it. You felt big tonight. Okay. He lied a lot.

But we mostly didn't mind because riding the bus was boring and his stories were entertaining enough. We didn't like the stories he told about having sex with ghosts though. Those were strange. Aaron lived next to a graveyard.

More accurately, he lived on top of the graveyard. Oh, sure. His house had originally, been home to the caretaker but had since been sold off when they passed so his parents were the new caretakers or they just lived in a seven he was always the caretaker thank you yeah after that axe murder that fucking place opened right up i think the demarcation like changed and they sold the house as a separate entity and the land like directly around it was like siphoned off i bet that i really hope though that they got it for a steal because you would have to literally pay me to live adjacent to a cemetery.

Really? Get out of you. Of course. What? Yes. I mean, it depends on the lot. There's, you know,

there's a lot. They're all Salem's lot, okay? Here's the thing. If you can harness the power of ghosts, maybe beyond for sexual reasons. Also, powerful mage.

Dan's know the deal here. They're going to give it to us for a song because that had graveyard. You don't believe it in ghosts, do you? you and your uncle Bruce Willis don't believe in ghosts Whenever the zombie apocalypse Or the ghost apocalypse happened

You're one of the first ones to know You're right there You're like sure I like that Kill me fast And then you can join the Legion of the Dead You know I don't have to see the breakdowns On like Rachel Maddow on CNN

About like oh my God the zombie apocalypse No I just see them happening I have a heart attack And I die right there Chris, that reminds me. I bet you anything. When the zombie apocalypse inevitably comes, Steve Kornacki is going to do a great job of being up on that big board being like,

and now this county has fallen to the zombies. Got some more zombies coming in here. Now you think there would be more zombies in Kentucky. But weirdly, they're all in New Hampshire. Double tap there. That's a shaded area because the zombies haven't completely taken it over. We're going to shade that. Yeah, only 90% of carcasses are in here, so we're going to have to check back on this county.

This is going to probably happen before the end of the year, right? It would have to. Right. The results in Maricopa County, they're going to call it a night. Everybody's going home. They're going to be back here. First thing tomorrow, Steve, we hear to keep it going here in the zombie percentage count in Maricopa County. okay so one october morning

Aaron got on the bus and triumphantly shouted I did it I finally did it being that it was 6.45 a.m. and the fact that Aaron spewed shit almost every single day no one paid much attention to it. 6.45 in the morning you're already on the school bus my god. I was that I had to be on the schoolbook around that time. Yeah. I think I think mine was like 630.

Yeah. I was like I was, like, ready to go by six. I was getting out of bed at, like, 7.15. God, fucker. Some of it. As he settled into his seat, he said it again. I did it, guys. I really did it.

I finally had sex. Get the horns up. We all collectively groaned. One guy, Dan, took the bait and asked him who he had had sex with. Here's the thing. Dan wasn't taking the bait. Dan was like, let's exploit this a little further. Ever heard of Garmin Elektra, ladies and gentlemen?

Just saying, she and I got it on. The Hawaiian traffic bus broke down in front of my house. Love it. Well. I don't like to speak out of school. but the whole castor party of five and I had sex. Every last one of them. We were all closer to free.

Ever heard of a little person known as Kathy Ireland? Well, her name is Sarah, and she's older. Eric said, smiling from ear to eat. ear again we all groaned it was hard enough to believe he had had sex but with an older woman no chance dan ever the shit starter followed up fucking dan love it dan dude dan dan uh followed up asking where he'd met the older woman aaron sat back in his seat with a very satisfied look on his face and said she's a ghost she came to my room last night.

Now with this new bit of information, our ears perked up and Aaron held court, I'll spare you the details. Why would you spare me? I almost want to cancel the reading of the rest of this email, sparing us those details. No, no, no. What is going on here? Did you fuck that ghost to the ass? I need to know. I want a Warren report

called. to investigate the situation and then give me a full report of what happened. We need it. We need a follow-up email on the next mailbag episode. I'm not even kidding. That's what the new

the second tenant movie should be about that. What if it's real? What if it was like a boy who cried wolf and he was actually fucking ghost, dude? Oh, the ghost of Jelaine Maxwell having sex with minors,

ladies and gentlemen. Hello! Uh, okay. Disgusting. Okay. Chris ever sounding like the disappointed dad. Uh, but essentially he had awakened, he had awakened in the night to find Sarah sitting at the foot of his bed. She was, of course, really hot.

Of course, yeah. And per errand was really stacked. He's 78 years old Look at the bosom on this woman that was murdered in the Civil War Acroplasm, right? Ladies and gentlemen Look, I'm just saying This ghost could have been in Penn House

That's all I'm saying, guys But I heard ghosts can't do it He admitted it Hadn't lasted long Which seems strange looking back. no you know what I think he was like you know what I cannot I cannot one lie to these kids on the bus and say I fucked it goes but then also double that lie and say that I fucked that goes for four hours by the way you were just masturbating and imagining somebody it wasn't a ghost it was just your imagination you stupid kid you were jerking off to something that was on liquid television and you kind of fell asleep We don't know how many ghosts around us at all time. So every time you do masturbate, maybe a ghost jumps under it, you know?

We all had very weird thoughts while watching Eon Flux for the first two times. Absolutely. It just happens that way. You never seen anything like it. It's just weird. Two things, dude, she was dead and she was stacked. Okay. Take it from your friend Aaron, whose uncle is Bruce Willis and owns

property on the moon, this definitely happened. I'm telling you, she was a quadruple DG. Which I think is what they call stacked into fashion world. Okay, he gave he gave details that I don't

feel comfortable thinking about, come on let alone typing. Coward. Even as a 30-year-old man, at the end of his story, Neil yelled Ghost fucker at the top of his lungs

And there's just this new person named Neil? Yeah, new character This is not the pilot of This is not the first episode of freaks and geeks, you know? Decto Shagger! Let's go, Shagga!

Love it. Where we met on the internet, I was haunting his computer. I was a ghost in his machine. Aaron is only 14 years old and his partner is 461.

Well, you know, I used to be able to just watch pornography and jerk off on my computer but now every time she switches it and just it's a picture of her dead corpse. Annabeth was decapitated shortly after the signing of the Magna Carta.

And she says that I have to jerk off to the corpse picture. It's a loving relationship. though. She's very comforting. Eric, did you just make some good head joke that we told me? I like that. Also funny. Oh, geez. That's the

name of the boob comedy that this would be, you know, adapted from. I think we got the ingredients for a great movie here. The zombie apocalypse is happening. And Bruce Wilson has to stop it. Like, oh, these fucking ghosts are fucking kids. And this is obscene. I got to go to the moon

to bury an amulet. The protagonist, right? So maybe like John McLean's like a side prod. Now he's John McLean. It's not just as well as. It's just John McLean. But maybe. Yeah.

His nephew has to move into a cemetery. Yeah. Ghost heart. Ghost heart. Yeah. The ghosts that give you erections. So what did Neil say? What's Neil up to now?

The Neil Chronicles? No, he just said he just called him a ghost fucker at the top of his long. a few weeks later Aaron said it happened again some listened to his story but most riders had lost interest oh that's too bad

a few weeks after that he said she'd visited a third time what did they just talk that time just visited look we're just going to sleep together okay I'm not really comfortable this time I'm sorry you know but like you know we're intimate enough a few weeks

but by the time no one cared. There were no more stories of ghost sex after that. Or Aaron moved a year later. I'm unsure if he and the ghosts were able to make it work long distance. So WHM, any paranormal experiences

sexy or not. Like a fine wine, you get better with age. Thanks for all you do. Duke from Milwaukee. First of all, awesome fucking name. That rules. Ghost story. Definitely no sexy.

ghost stories. No. Yeah, not that. I never had, I never had the pleasure. I got a drunk on a ghost tour in New Orleans. Oh, yes. That was fun. Did you see anything? No, no, no. They were just talking about all this like really, really grotesque shit that was happening. And I was just getting drunk on this very sugary, very alcoholic punch that they had given me for very discounted prices. Yeah, I did one of those as well. And there were,

There were guys who were there, because during the football season, there were Philly dudes that went to see the Saints play in New Orleans, and they were, like, falling asleep on their feet drunk kind of a thing. On this ghost tour? Yes, and to the point where the guy,

it was amazing because the guy's like, and the guy's like, do you know? And it was, I forget what it was. It was a medical question where he's like, do you know why you bleed out because of this thing? And you guys like, because your brain is,

and he just like woke up out of nowhere. knew the answer and I'm actually a doctor and then he went like back to sleep that's incredible we're in New Orleans and the guy had to be like guys you know what I'm going to refund you you could leave the tour because it was just really that bad that's incredible one time we had an almost paranormal experience well I wasn't having it so here's what went down my great grandmother my nana lived to be I believe the ripe old age of 94 uh Towards the end of her life, though, she was, you know, definitely having health problems and whatnot. And one night, my mother was like, hey, kids, we're all going to go.

It was like a Friday night. We're all going to go over to Nana's, you know, and we'll order pizzas, kind of just hang out, you know, get some time with Nana before things get even worse, kind of a thing. So we're over there. I'll never forget this. We're eating pizza. We're watching Roseanne. Or no, we ordered the pizza. We're watching Roseanne, ordered the pizza.

And my mom goes, is it my Nana said something like, oh, what are we doing for dinner? and my mom goes oh nana we ordered pizza and she goes oh oh that's wonderful did you get enough for everybody and my mom goes well yeah Nana you know we just got a large pizza it's just me and you and the kids

and she goes well yes me and you and the children but what about the two men in the white coats and pointed to the doorway and I just remember like I didn't even know what to think of that I didn't even like I was too scared to shit my pants like too scared to shit man and it was my mother and my mother handled it beautifully it was just

kind of like a okay the pizza's on its way let's all enjoy the antics of the conner family well i would be like uh they those guys can't i need two slices those ghosts cannot that and it's like maybe like split one or something i don't know i've got a little bit of a ghost yarn perhaps um you know i grew up in the catskill mountains and you know very kind of remote uh One of the most haunted mountain ranges, I feel, in the world, maybe. You go, yeah, and we would go camping, not at, like, campgrounds. We would just trespass, you know, and just fucking, just go camping. And I would see, I've seen, orbs of light moving around through the woods.

In retrospect, sure, this could have been a crazy person with a flashlight, but it was quite scary at the time. I got another one. Does anybody have it? I don't want to step on anybody. I ain't got no good stories. Okay. You never ran into like son of Sam ring? No, no.

Well, no, everyone in the Bronx says a son of Sam tried to kill me story. Oh, really? Yes. There was my friend's mother was like, oh my God. You know, I was getting calls around then. I guarantee you it was the son of Sam tried to kill me. Swear to God. Swear to God.

Oh, man. That's kind of crazy. I got an Italian ice and they said he could have been three blocks away. I was in the bathroom at Yankee Stadium. Well, I grew up right around where all that was, by the son of Sam area.

Yeah, you were right. Oh, you were that close to it? Oh, yeah, it was an Italian neighbor in the Bronx, man. That's it. Whatever anyone said that, you should have been like, you're not pretty enough.

That's what I want to be like. Oh, yeah, you're the son. You think you're son of Sam pretty. You're not son of Sam pretty. A talking dog wouldn't even talk to you. Tim Cooney has a question for Steve Sadeck. But did you run into Son of Sam's dog?

I did not. A dog talked to me once But that's a story for another day Oh, Steve, find your soulmate Does that dog run the Bronx Elks Club? No, no, Chris, I cut you off with my bullshit son of Sanctuary. So, towards end of my grandmother's life,

she was in the hospital, and me and my grandfather would go visit her at least a couple times a week. Yeah. So we would have, and my mom worked at a hospital. so we would have these lunches at this gross cafeteria that had almost like nothing it was

like awful food on site you're talking on site it was on site it was on site yeah so we would every and my of course my my grandfather thought this was great he was like oh man finally

he would eat like big salads instead of blue cheese he would put tartar sauce on it oh no that's uh wow and by bob tried to correct him on this on numerous occasions to no avail um so one time uh we're talking and he's like it's like you know it's weird to be sleeping alone in the bed these i'm like yeah i imagine like this is right pretty heavy shit from like a fuck yeah okay yeah

how old are you at the time dude i mean this i would have been 13 okay okay i don't think you are mature to have that, I've known you a long time, I don't think you're emotionally mature enough to have that conversation until like three years ago? Yeah, I mean, yeah, it was,

it just really threw me into it head first. So it's okay, yeah, all right. And he's like, you know, and sometimes, you know, usually, I'd usually, I could hit, I could, you know, tap her and she would take care of her friend there. And, uh,

and I was like, like, did you guys have a pet? And he's like, no no no her friend that lived in the closet oh my god dude did you run screaming out of the room no it's just like i was just very confused i was like oh god if i do i have to get my mom because she had she was still paying for stuff up at the register uh-huh and he's like you know her friend died at a very young age and she and she died at this house before we bought it and she always said that

her friend was in the closet and I you know I kept on saying like I don't think that's true honey but like at some point I just was like yeah yeah okay wow and he's like now it's like whenever I hear it I just think yeah that's that's that's her friend there Mr. Marbles

wow and so okay so real really quickly before Bruce has a heart attack in the chat room yes we are seeing the news over the transom very sad to report that Tiny Zeus Lister has passed away oh no yeah well now he's a ghost story you happy man i don't want to say that you happy bruce

you know that's what you know what not to be a dick but that's what happens when you tangle with the wishmaster ladies the wish master oh man that is a bummer though and it is a bummer that he's involved in the absolute most unnecessary dumbest part of the dark night it is it is it's sad that he's actually that sucks though it is his grade whatever he appeared in either you know you know no matter how it happened

obviously it's a tragedy but if it was fucking COVID dude fuck you Trump absolutely god damn it oh well that's that really that's a bummer and I think to make up for the bummer I think we got to just keep reading some letters absolutely I think it's your turn buddy oh it is my turn you know okay yeah let's do

the Indiana Jones one okay oh I like it let's do it hey Indiana Jones and the kingdom of the divorced dads I really love that. I think that's a contender for subject line of the episode here.

That terrible towel belongs in a museum. All that mahogany furniture, Marion. He belongs in a bar that opens early. Hey guys, I have a story you might enjoy about my divorced dad, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and what an idiot I was as a child.

child. My parents got divorced when I was pretty young. So like a lot of divorced dads, like a lot of divorced dads who only have their kids on the weekend, my dad took me and my older sister who got me into WHM a few years ago, right on. Your sister's pretty cool.

To see some pretty bad movies over the years. I have a distinct memory of us all walking out of B movie and going, what the hell was that? I imagine they were doing Seinfeld impressions. Except for my divorced dad who was like, I like the giant woman.

So your mother wasn't tall, kids. But the kicker was when we went to see Indiana Jones and the kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Now, guys, brace for this next part. And some folks at home were kind of around our age because get ready to die. That movie came out in May 2008 and we went to see it in June. Right at the end of the school year, I was just finished. elementary school Gawg

Gwawa Gwaug That is Big Wawa we were Borett But even at that age I could recognize that movie was horseshit

My dad, my sister and I roasted it pretty much the whole rest of the day which that's got to be a fun memory But later that evening My dad was on the phone with his girlfriend at the time who would later become his third ex-wife

whoa dude racking up the tumbars to have a third ex-wife that's Jedi level I'm a Jedi divorced dad that's wow and also this is just dropping some nukes in this email by the way she had pretty much given up on making an effort with my older

sister but she was still trying to get me to like her so she had sent me a congratulations on graduating elementary school in the mail a few days prior. Years later, I realized, yeah, graduating elementary school isn't really a thing. Also, like, I don't know, like mail is difficult because now moms open. Who is this whore writing to you?

Who is sending you these cards? There is a whore congratulating my son on graduating. Just tell me this. It's her name Charlene. Charlene loves offering up unwanted. congratulations. I only thought it was going to be, Charlene. God damn it.

So after my dad is on the phone with her for a bit that night, he says to her, Harley has something she wants to say to you, and hands me the phone. No. Clearly expecting me to thank her for the card. Fuck off. That doesn't your problem, dude.

You know what? I can run an interference on you and your girlfriend. Yeah, totally. this dad's a douche but also I think you know Haley in this moment this is also an acceptable use of I got to take a shit I got to give myself

another bud but I guess they change an America beer and I got to show you can you hold on to this for a minute okay and hands me the phone clearings like blah blah okay instead I launch into a rant

about how stupid the ending of Indiana Jones was nice and how ridiculous the aliens were and only when my dad gives me the most exasperated divorced dad look you ever saw did i remember to say oh and thanks for the card and then hand him back the phone didn't even come with like a scratch-off lottery ticket that is the custom up in my country who can't be given lotto tickets to kids yeah maybe can were you were you gifted lottery tickets as a child. My ants all the time. And what happened? It's scratching. Oh, no.

There's a scratcher tickets. Yeah, it is. Scratchers, right? We're all talking about scratchers. Oh, yeah. I feel like that's innocuous enough. But then what happened with winnings? But I would get them to crash it for me. An adult would do it. Yeah, but then what, if you're a kid, though, what is the

adult doing with them? I'm not so poisoned by the world quite yet. As I, you know, you're looking back at this from here. Sure. Sure. I see. what you're saying. They got married like a year later and we're divorced by the time I finished high school. Wow, that's a tough

couple of years for that dude. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was for non-Indiana Jones reasons, but who's to say? Anyway, thanks for all the laughs. Have you ever hated a movie so much that it caused a fight or some serious awkwardness with your family, Haley, in D.C.

My family didn't really care about movies. Yeah. I mean, we watched, I mean, they liked, they kind of liked anything they saw, you know, especially the dirty pictures. Oh, right. A lot of that Cinemax after hours and whatnot. Yeah. Yeah. Lots of very strong opinions in the more cabin households. I bet from the same. Yeah, yeah. You're probably a little fucking hellian, huh? You're just like dressing down your parents about the usual stuff. Hey, hey, I didn't start the thing. I learned it from them.

I will say I mean yeah I don't have that but I do you know divorced dad and that's what you do you go to the movies a bunch on Sundays when you see him so yeah I saw a ton of movies that otherwise would not have

such as oh god what's that a psychic movie with Bronson Pinchot we saw that oh second site oh yeah John Marquette that's probably a stay tuned by the way

it's all movies like the rain maker in theaters you know what I mean it's just sort of like you just go yeah there and it's like I don't know I mean there's that dude I had like they fixed it but I had like separated dad Christmas Eve and that's how I saw Ernest scared or Ernest saves Christmas for the first time so like that's like I just associate that Christmas uh that movie with that like weird Christmas you'll get a weird Christmas I did I also that is also another divorced dad Christmas movie for me is the uh Ernest Ernest uh saves Christmas I kind of want to re-watch that this year. It's been a while since I've dived back into the earnest verse. My dad has a vicious hatred for the third in the before trilogy.

No. Before midnight. No. I can't believe any father would have even seen those. The last movie my father saw in the movie theater, not a joke, saving Private Ryan. movies are over you can't top it I will bet you my bank account neither of my parents know what those movies are

not a single one of them your dad doesn't know what saving private Ryan is no no no the before trilogy oh oh oh definitely not my parents don't know what that is yeah the closest my parents ever came to an art house Mosin picture it was one time because I loved it so much it was like my fifth time seeing it in the theaters I took the two of them to see the royal ten

bounds and I sat there like in all the fifth time loving it seeing this movie on the big screen like kind of like elbow in both of them I was in between the two of like a little kid like oh yeah right and we get out and it was just like guys right the royal ten and bounds and they were like we didn't get it my dad's reasoning for disliking for disliking before he's like yeah that's what you do you go to Greece and then you fight like it's like and then you just fight like a bunch of stupid animals. Yeah, no one's ever argued in Greece before. He just, he had

this weird reasoning. He's just like, why? What the, what is happening here? But those are all those movies, kind of. I don't know. Maybe, I mean, he probably just changed as a person, I assume. Oh, man. What did you got some of this, Steve? Oh, no, I'm curious. What are we doing here?

Oh, well, you look, keep on reading. Okay. Why? Fuck not. Am I up again? Yeah, you go, Eric. Folks at home, if there is a word that's a little troublesome, I'll let you know that I have a learning disability, and it is actually violence to make fun.

Now, Eric, it's Rudy Giuliani. Julia, Gulia? Rudy can fail. Hey, gang, I'm a longtime fan of the show, and I have been a loyal Patreon subscriber for over a year. Thought this was an appropriate time to share with you with any luck, we have only a few more weeks until the main character stops

being a daily present in the news. Your lips to God's ears, pal. I used to work in a movie theater in New York, and one night a woman came, see, I can read kind of fast, though. Is that anything? That's something. That's definitely something. Doing better than me on this fucking mad elf beer. 11% alcohol volume there, ladies in general. That's why you've quieted down.

It's getting dark drunk. sound like a character whatever fucking great I used to work at a movie theater in New York and one night

a woman came to the concession stand and ordered two large popcorns and two large sodas I didn't recognize her but when she left the colleague told me

I had just served Rudy Giuliani's wife is this cousin wife great question I think it's the cousin or did he divorce the cousin wife and this is some other lady

I think this might be another lady Log into the chat, let us know. Is Rudy Giuliani still currently fucking his cousin? Yes, please let us know on his fucking situation. By the way, Rudy Giuliani, when he was running,

I think when he was trying to become the Republican nominee, he did use Rudy Can't Fail as his Big Raleigh song until somebody was like, you know, that stands for Rude Boy, right? And he's like, yeah, I'm a rude, rude, rude boy. I'm buried my cousin, of course, I'm rude. I'm quite rude to the homeless. Oh, I'm the root as you'll ever see to a prostitute.

I'm very rude to my family tree. You know, I bet when he comes, it's like his hair dye running down. Oh, sure, dude. That's like the penguin having intercourse. Black noise, they call it. All right. And he was seeing the movie. We only had one screen, and while it doesn't matter, I believe we were, we had a, we had

a re-release of Deepa Meta's water playing. Never saw water. It's fine. Good job, yeah. Fine. What do you think? Beat him up over it? Yeah, I would.

You fucking did the old monkey steals the peach to your dad over Deepa Mehta's water? They wouldn't wash clothes like that. In the river like that, they wouldn't do that. midway to the film he came down himself and ordered another two large popcorns that's all are up that's great you have two buckets of popcorn already probably pushing it and then you finish them and you get more you're just eating popcorn for dinner I love popcorn and I will eat popcorn for dinner but that's a little excessive what do you think chris is that excessive i think that is a little excessive hey in from the the youtube chat

yeah i mean that's also valuable but where the fuck was it there we go no no fuck it there's so many chats going here i love it but hang on everybody slow down so i can click on this there we go daniel says rudy divorced that cousin back in the 80s ah yeah so this is the second one then oh that's too bad cousin fucker. All right. Like ghost fucker. This was either late 2006 or early 2007 when it still

seemed plausible that he could be the 2008 Republican nominee. I remember thinking it was cool that I had served a potential future president even though my only interaction with his was to be careful with the salt shaker because it poured quickly. No, you know what?

And then if this person didn't say that he poured way too much salt on it, the arteries clogged too much and he'd be dead by now. So way to fuck it up. Way to fuck it up. That's like that old legend of like, oh,

I was the one guy who bought the one painting from Hitler and let him live through the winter and he didn't freeze to death. You see if there's too much salt on the popcorn, it sucks up all the bile. That's right. And then it doesn't dribble down his chin. All of my black bile is falling into my huge popcorn.

That seemed like the end of it until the movie ended. It was my job to clean the theater between showtimes. And when I went in and I found a giant pile of popcorn on the floor, four large, completely empty bags. They were fucking on top of it. That's what happened. I have no idea what happened,

but it looked like they had been purchased simply to be overturned on the ground. This wasn't as though a bag or two had accidentally been tipped over since my coworker had the broom and dust been up in the mezzanine. took 10 minutes to clean up Jesus. Using one of the bags in a shovel. You know what? I know your, I know your cinema has one screen, but that doesn't be the best of one fucking

broom. What is that about? Good Lord. Now, Rudy, you just spit in this popcorn, and when it gets too soggy, we'll get another bucket. Oh, okay. And then we just empty it.

They use the, I see someone in the chat saying a shovel, and they used the, they used the, The bag of popcorn adds a shovel. Oh. I'm going to misspoke there. Oh. But yeah.

Wow. What an asshole. Jesus Christ. This was more bizarre than anything given who it was. And since I had certainly cleaned up worse, worse message than popcorn. Now, that's a person they typoed. It's a pretty worst message. They typoed.

You didn't, you didn't, they typoed. You didn't read. I want to. I want to specify that in case one of these guys blasted me for not saying message. Like, oh, you don't know what a message is. Message. How about a massage? I'm bathing in popcorn, as I always do.

How decadent. This puts another 10 years on my life. I bathe in popcorn. Put the butter on my head. Oh, my God. Someone made art of the Virgin Mary. popcorn. Rub it on my nipples.

One large bucket of butter, please. Another time someone brought in and dropped a large container of chili, which exploded on the carpet, which I had to clean. Oh, yeah.

This is kind of giving me flashbacks of the multiplex days, Chris. Yeah, not in it. Oh, boy. Still, I have no idea what they were doing in that theater, though, the idea that he was deliberately making a mess seems more plausible with each news cycle.

These poor people are going to pick up after my mess, baby. Thanks for all the laughs and for keeping me company when I'm up all night with my newborn, Ryan from Brooklyn. And thank you, Ryan from Brooklyn, because you're from Brooklyn. You know how people talk. You're not fancy. Yeah, that's right. Fancy words to seem fancy.

Wow, that is something. The chili is exciting. Anytime, you know, it was always the worst, right? like when you went into the theater to clean stuff, you flip them lights on and someone had snuck in hot food and it was a disaster zone. Of course. I mean,

I don't recall specifically picking up chili, but like definitely nachos. I mean, just imagine that you're like sneaking in Wendy's and you got the large cup of chili that you would go right and you're there to see history of violence. And you're fucking like, yeah,

I just got to take this big scoop in. Oh, no. Well, you want an old. Western when you're when you're eating chili I think it's the idea that everyone around you feels like they're on the range a little bit. Open rain. You can sneak it like you're

going to see like unforgiven big tub of Wendy's chili. That's fine. This did reading this letter though or hearing it read to me so eloquently by Eric who's a great reader. One of the top. Magnificent dude. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

It reminded me of one time I had an encounter with someone while working at the concession stand at the multiplex. It's a popcorn situation. And this person, I have to say, there's no way around it, they're definitely dead. Because this is what happened. This person

came out, not in great shape, large popcorn. And we're talking, it was the old bags, right? It was the big thing, right? And fill up the popcorn. You know, he made sure I patted it down to, you know, be able to

smush as much popcorn into the bag. as possible. So it was a lot of like, could you tap that? You just tap that down a little bit. It's more popcorn on there. No, come on. We're not patting it down. I was patent. And then, I mean, if you were disgusted by that, buckle your seatbelts. So then I, you know, you have to do the ubiquitous. Would you like butter with that? Oh, yes, most definitely. Okay. And it was a pump thing, right? And it wasn't self-serve. So you had to do it. Do like, I would do a pump and then another pump and then turn. And he was like, you get a little more than that. like okay another pump no you know what you're a little more than that

I went back I did another pump went to give it back to him he goes I'm not kidding you can you just put the butter on it and I'll tell you when it's enough no look I want my hand to be wet when I'm holding it from the bottom it's the day it gets so much worse I don't want to hear a rattle I want to hear a swish when you shake the bucket dude get ready because I start pumping away And so I'm holding it, right? So the beer is the popcorn. I'm holding it.

So I have like some fingers under the bag and I'm pumping the butter. I can feel my fingers getting wet because the butter is sticking through. And I was like, I was like, dude, I think it's enough. And he was like, yeah, that's good. So I gave it to him. 45 minutes later, this dude comes back out. And he just goes, hey man, could I get like just like a little side of butter? Fill her up.

and all we had like we had little tiny like um like little courtesy cups as the staff that you could like get a quick drink of water and so i was like kind of like this and he was like yeah if you could just do that like halfway three quarters the way up that'll be good and i made uh could you just pretend that you're uh a production assistant on double there and pretend that there's a flag on the bottom of that one there just give me all that butter in there it was dude I was like, I'm going to find this dude dead in the theater when I go to clean it. I'm going to ask you a question. Now, I know movie theaters are dead or whatever, but like, when was the last time you actually had that liquid butter on it? Because the popcorn itself now is just butter flavored anyway. I'll tell you what. I don't like to, it's a cold and wet. I don't appreciate it.

It's messier than, and popcorn's always messy. You have to watch your hands immediately. Like, yeah, to watch your hands. I'll tell you what, the butter on the popcorn is like Andrew Jupin versus the devil. and I can fight it most times but like every now and again if there's especially like

a little too many tall glasses of water before the movie kind of a thing I will do butter on the popcorn I'll do it I'll do it so let me tell you about a time I got owned by an old lady I'm here for it too so I was also worked this is the same

multiplex of me and Andrew worked at you were not on the cleaning crew that day it was me and Victor oh my Victor if you're watching. I don't know if you're yeah, Victor. Victor and me were on this. I think he left before this was noticed because we started, there was

one lady there and I saw something like something was weird with her. She was definitely older. I think the movie was shit. Oh shit the movie. Yeah. It's part of the movie's an actual

movie. Is there shit a movie? Is there a movie? It might have been men of honor, Andrew. Oh, Coogan Jr. is cookie. Yeah, I think it might have been that one. Robert De Niro plays a seafaring racist. It sucks.

It's not very good at all. It's a bad, bad movie. This lady is the only person left in the theater while the credits are going. So we start sweeping up down, it's one of the smaller theaters, so we start doing it, making sure we're not blocking her view.

and I get when I get closer and I notice that she's picking something from her like stomach slash groin area and putting it to her mouth and Victor had left at this time and it had stopped

no no no the movie had stopped the print drop so the film was no longer running lights come up I noticed this lady has poured a large popcorn all over her like windbreaker

groin stomach area and it's just picking pieces of popcorn up like this she then Chris looks to be almost dead in the eye pick and stands up

with it dropping all to the ground she offered to eat her out dude and she And she just leaves. Yeah, dude. Fucking power movie. Wow.

That's nuts. Did she look at you and go, what are you going to do about it? It was so much colder than that, because she didn't even have to pretend like I existed. What are you? A peasant, get out of here. I will put this on the floor and you will pick it up,

you piece of shit. Oh, you got your number. there, pal. Yeah, she had me. She had me. And then I picked it up like a piece of shit. That's incredible. Oh, man. All right. So we got, we got two more here, guys. We want to keep going. Yeah, maybe those two one and then a little questions. Okay. Let's do the last one. Okay. Who should do it? Whose turn? Is it my turn? Who? Yeah, go for it, dude. Okay. Okay. Law schooled. Hey, lads. your recent mentions of the firm reminded

me of the time I passed my law school's professional responsibility class. Oh, a little bit more over here. Yeah. Anyone who becomes a lawyer is the enemy. By watching that 1993

goldmine of ethics violations and Holly Hunter, the professor was a judge who didn't have the energy or the time to be teaching our class. It was perfect. The first day he walked in, announced the class would be just a series of guest speakers and passed out candy.

The only grade for the course was, quote, a 15-page paper on something that deals with the rules of professional conduct. Was this a senior auditor class? 7.30 p.m. at night. I'm going to be a lawyer. And also the R, the P, and the C in rules of professional conduct are capitalized. of that's some sort of lawyerific situation. Yeah, from my days in law school, I remember.

Oh, right. Oh, I forgot. Oh, cool. I took this vague assignment to heart, signing up to write my paper on ethics violations in the movie The Firm. I had 12 weeks to work on it. So I got all settled in to watch the movie for the first time the night before it was due. By the way, 12 weeks to write a 15-page paper on a movie,

you wouldn't last a fucking day in. film school buddy way to crank those things out about movies weeks on end oh yeah you have to be able to bullshit all the time yeah stop bullshit i kind of missed it almost right like fun just like really just pulling a real like long paper right out of your ass yeah when i i took a law a crime and film class was it was a senior auditor class during my last semester of college when i needed like fucking 40 credits to graduate i really crammed it in and the guy was the guy was the guy was the teacher, the professor was so out of it, he would call

movies that were based on true stories, documentaries. So he's like, today we're going to watch the documentary Serpico. And I just was like, Jesus. I'm pretty sure that's not a documentary story.

You fail. You fail the class. Today we're going to watch the documentary Fargo. According to the opening text, it is factual film. Well, look at this. Hey, Chris Cabin,

like-mindedness here in the chat, the documentary Fargo. I love it. Steve, I have to say that Chelsea and I were talking about you taking that class just the other day because it was when the fucking the protagonist from the last story, Rudy Giuliani,

or I guess the antagonist, rather, was talking about how my cousin Vinnie is his favorite movie. Oh, right, yes. And I saw, I was in a professional class where I watched my cousin Vinnie. And Chelsea was like, do you think Giuliani took Steve's lawn film

class? Those mail and ballots were in a Buick skylar. My biological clock is going like this. All right. So 15 page page bar on something that deals with the rules of professional conduct, right? Okay.

So to watch the movie for the first time the night before it was due and greened right the fuck out, oh no the credits rolled and I looked at it my notebook to find one note Gary Busey thief okay I could do this I could do this I could do this his teeth are ethical those are ethical teeth oh my god I didn't have time to watch the movie again and I needed 15 pages I don't know how, but I think I cobbled together most of the pages.

I couldn't remember enough of the movie to make the requisite amount. This man still gave me an A, the ultimate proof that he should not have taught us professional responsibility. It is true. I think that small teeth are unethical, you know. I don't think that, you know, Souter never got too around to talking about that. Souter weighing in on teeth. this is all law school it's fake this proof this is proof we have the proof especially the ethics am i right ladies and gentlemen and the ultimate proof that passing the bar exam does not make someone intelligent i got an a in professional responsibility by greening out and fudging a paper did any of you ever completely bullshit and a

assignment and have it pay off. Absolutely. Oh my God. Thank you for everything you guys do. You're getting me through quarantine. Love from Boston, bro. A anonymous professionally responsible lawyer. I mean, I was a

terrible student and it's totally fine to be a terrible student. The most unethical thing I did in college was I didn't read the book as always. And I'm just sort of, I'm sitting in the library hoping something's going to come to me. And then I see another girl from my class like sitting.

over there. Yeah. And she accidentally printed out two copies of her paper. Oh, no. Dude, hello, outline. Don't say this. They're going to resend your your certificate. I don't have a diploma. Oh, really?

Neither do I. I never paid my whatever like I owed like money on a phone bill or something like that. Wow. You guys never graduated. You guys never graduated college. I never graduated college. I know, I don't have, I do not have a college diploma because I refused to pay a $10

late fee returning the two VHS set of the Godfather part two. Interesting Hill to die on. I have a diploma, by the way, so I could be able to hear as do I. You are. See, Eric, all of this self-doubt do you the smartest one. Okay. All right. I'll accept it. No, I'm kidding. I kind of felt bad

about that one. I kind of felt bad about that one because that was like real that was like real deal cheated. Someone in the cat says WHM goes back to college. Now that sounds like a movie, right? Everyone? You know what? I'll do the triple lindy, whatever you need. I got the free frame already.

Yeah. I once wrote a while picking my way through a 30 rack of extra gold. Nice, dude. I thought you're going to say picking your way through your ass. Also that and taking like

of pain killers for my friend's dog. I wrote 40 pages on married with children. I got an A plus and that motherfucking professor came up to me at graduation with my parents and said, your son is a very gifted young man.

Gifted in what? I have no idea. I have no idea. That's ridiculous, dude. I mean, I bullshitted papers all, like film papers all the time. It was, you know, sometimes it was like you didn't watch something and you were kind of like working off of IMDB and, you know, kind of shit like that. But I'm recalling a thing that didn't happen to me, but totally made this dude like burn out of the program that I was getting

into. So we had a thing where it was like your first year, anybody could take like the intro film class kind of a thing. And at the end of it, you had to take what was called the majors exam. And at that time, it was like you had to pass this test to get to be able to continue declaring yourself a major of like film studies and purchase and so we had the thing where it was like we're going to show you

the first whatever it is like 30 minutes of a movie we're not going to tell you what movie it is and then you're going to use like everything that you have learned in this introductory class over the last year and like write a paper about it so the clip was the entire

wedding sequence of the godfather and so you just kind of like did with that what you will you know and we wrote our things or whatever and I never forget leaving it afterwards and like walking back to the dorm and there was another kid who was in the class and I was like oh hey man how do you think you did on the majors exam and he was like oh man I think it was great I was killing it I was talking about stuff like when De Niro is like chasing him on the rooftops and shit you can see and I'm like wait what and he's like yeah man you know and

you know De Niro this and you know when he comes to you know Ellis Island when he's a kid and then like he's fucking sick and he's got to like stave and I was like dude that's in the next movie that's in the godfather part two we were watching the godfather and this dude was like oh man wait what did you say

oh wait what did you say and I was like you wrote about the wrong movie you remember that scene when they have uh they get they have pasta with Scorsese's mother I thought that was phenomenal I thought that was just Maron I was thinking about Italian American

Oh, no. Yeah, and then that dude didn't return to the program. Yeah. That's, you know, I will say, folks, yeah, you know, that's it for the letters and whatnot. But let's open it up to some cues from the audience. How's everybody doing on beverages, by the way? I'm now working off of a, I love Montauk brewing, the cold day IPA. This is a low and slow situation.

I'm now the Newberg-Pilsner, which is. a new variety. And if you go to the Newberg brewery, tell them who sent you. Let's see. Yes, questions in the chat. Now, people start asking questions. We'll do a quick Q&A, and then we're going to get the fuck out of here. Totally. So let's see here. So Andrew

asks, any childhood rosebud-esque holiday gift highlights or low lights? Whoops. What is exactly that? What does that mean? I guess like what's just a hot, look, A childhood toy that stuck with you

kind of thing. I know a real low light. I know a low light shot right from mine. I have a low light as well. I will never forget the year that a relative gave I think me, my brother and possibly my younger sister also. No, maybe not.

I don't know. Me and some siblings received a Ninja Turtles like fake shaving cream set. So like it had a razor with no blade. in it and then like ninja turtle branded shaving cream and that was that was the present that was a christmas present i got the n64 game war gods which was like a fake mortal combat it's horrible it's and it was just it was like that class it was a lee carbello's putting

challenge kind of this is the game everybody loves right war gods and that's how it was gifted to you was like stephen you're gonna love it exactly Oh, that sucks. I once was like, oh, I would really love this action figure. Like, this is like everything to me. And then by the time my parents begrudgingly got it for me, they made me feel so guilty for asking. I think about it like weekly.

What was the action figure? Wow. Some G.I. Joe. Like, you know, because we were, I was, because my older brother watched it probably. But the guilt still carries with me today. and I feel extremely terrible that I ever acted out. My cousins and aunts had a couple of them had a rotating line of

of boyfriends and partners that weren't great. They would come to Christmas. They weren't great at just like, you know, figuring out right off the top of their heads what they should get, you know, say a 12-year-old. But they tried their darnest. and one time this guy he gave I forget his name

I do remember he had quite he had a very big mustache but then also like he had overshaved the middle part of a bald head oh my god you had two back not even too back two to the side

like the gap was too big that is shitty also let's call this guy Randy absolutely despicable looking human being So this guy I'm picturing Giamati in 30 Rock by the way

Was he wearing an Islander's sweater? No he was not He was a fashionably a dress ducted in shirt Nice That's awesome He would hand me Like so he's handing all these things down And I'm like I'm old enough that I could start reading faces

And knowing what's going on So I'm seeing people look in the in the bags And like going like I get one and I'm like oh thank you and like I turned the corner to look at what it is I'm 12 years old bag of dildos

it's actually weirder and to be a little bit more disturbing a whole bag of dildos a weirder than dildos a male desk sorter for like the

inbox outbox thing that's what it was as we're corresponded sir Chris I think you like like left the office

like he quit his job or so I don't know what's going on but I look I still have the thing I just I just have the

now that you're in your late 30s is it in your apartment right now no no it's not here but it's back home back i was going to demand you go get this in my hometown sorry that's insane uh-huh this the stupidest gift that's ever been given that guy stuck around for another two years good autumn i guess was the gift giving uh as lazy no but he got really into like giving chocolates oh that that that is lazy yeah that's pretty lazy let's see here uh got another one here uh this is an easy one yes

we have done an episode on jingle all the way probably in the archive I'm going to guess yeah I don't know check check WHMpodcast.com for questions like that there you've also done jingle all the way too that's right we've done but we've done 100% we've done both of those movies here's another easy one I'm wearing a we hate movies t-shirt

okay let's see here we frankly mention that our cheap public store if you want to get under the wire totally oh you know new year's day we're going to start making money off of it again so if you want to give to charity and you want to get merch you don't want to help us that's i mean now i'm framing it weird i don't mean to do that but we're donating all of our merch proceeds the entire year absolutely black lives matter adjacent charities uh okay here's a good one favorite christmas horror movies ooh uh actually just this last uh weekend uh my wife and i watched uh uh uh a trilogy of Christmas-themed horror movies. We watched Cranpus, which you know what? That's a chicken shit movie. I'm sorry. Is that right? I've never seen the motion picture.

The last 30 minutes really fuck it up. Yes, it's just okay. It's not as funny as you want it to be. Not worth it. We watched Black Christmas for the first time. The OG Black Christmas. Excellent. Really amazing.

Chilling. And Silent Night Deadly Night 2, which is. Oh, Garbage, J&T. It's a production of a movie because they show you so much of Silent Night Deadly Night 1. It's so good. Yeah. Favorite one for me? I mean, I hate to be repetitive.

I mean, Black Christmas is totally up there for me, Christmas horror. Gremlins, I guess, counts. Sure, yeah. Gremlins absolutely counts. Yeah, I love that movie. I still love Silent Night Deadly Night 1. That's a really good movie. It is a good movie.

Confirmation here. both jingle all the ways are on the feed, not in the archive, episodes 137 and 182. That is why ladies and gentlemen, WHM is the best fans of the business, I'll tell you right. Absolutely. All you do is hit no time at all.

Control F on that episode tab, my friends. You know, I'm not 100%. I think either the inciting incident or the actual night, the French movie inside happens around Christmas. Yeah, I guess it does.

I love that movie That movie is rough but it is incredible Someone is asking Steve a follow-up question Crampus is a Kardashian kid I have no idea I get it I think it's an attempted humor You got me you got me

Dead to write I got this mad elf coursing through my veins Here's another one Not Halloween horror But thoughts on killer clowns from outer space It's good I haven't seen it since I was a kid In elementary school I saw it way too young and I thought it was pretty scary

But then it didn't stop me from dress Because I went to I think it was like fourth or fifth grade And it was Halloween and people They were encouraging kids to dress up And I had like this old clown wig From another Halloween and I got vampire fangs And I went in as a killer clan from outer space

And no one knew what I was doing Oh really? Yeah Also has one of the greatest titular theme songs I'd buy that if you find it it's a banger it really is

a big shot Louis really great like character design I haven't seen it in forever I guess I need to rewatch it I don't think it's an episode because it knows what it is it's one of those like yeah

if anything is ever like that level of aware of what they're doing it's pointless for us to kind of cover it let's see so this is another one best unnecessarily set

at Christmas movies Ooh, interesting question. Lethal weapon. None of those movies matter. Any Shane Black movie, I guess, would be part. Iron Man 3 didn't need Christmas in it, but you know. Why did the predator put the star on the tree? I don't understand that.

I mean, yeah, like, it's a wonderful life doesn't have to happen that Christmas necessarily. Yeah, he could have been throwing himself off the bridge on Flag Day. Yeah, there you go. Oh, my damn. Patriotism. Toss. Let's see. Oh, here's an interesting one and ties into some we love movies programming.

Is Batman Returns a Christmas movie and we'll say dropping this coming Tuesday an all new episode with Batman Returns featuring our good buddy Jamel Bowie returning to the show. Yes, and you bet you're sweet ass. I guess it is. It is and it rules. Absolutely.

This one directly to Chris Cabin. Is there a Christmas party? I don't recall, Senator. Oh, look, I'm going to unwrap my presence, which is meaning going to the stable in the morning. Did the guy with the bag of pornography have a Santa hat on? No, but he had some horse and Christmas-themed pornography in his bucket. Put a Santa hat on the horse, right? Ian asks

Favorite Fat Guy Christmas snacks From a fellow fat guy Great question Well Ian I just drank a tumbler full of eggnog With rye in it So that was something So yeah Drugs and drink

I'm not a Christmas cookie guy I'll be on I'm not a You know what I mean? Yeah Not a huge Christmas cookie guy You're not fucking around with like ginger gingerbread men and whatnot No I mean what I want

Is on New Year's Eve Yes You get yourself some a cocktail winnie what he called those there a blanket? He's been a blanket man every New Year's Eve

I cannot not have those That's awesome We can get one It's Christmas is trash I mean what is this And the food that they Oh come on Let's see

I had another good one here Oh this is an interesting one As we're rolling into the ass end of this fucking terrible year Favorite new to you movie of 2020 so not not a best of this year but a new to use of retro

I think I got mine I'll go first it's definitely for me the China syndrome we just did that for WLM I'd never seen it before this year I watched it twice and under a week and loved it both times so for me it's the China syndrome life changing for me was a sorcerer

a William Freakid Sorcerer I watched it sometime this year and I was white knuckling on my fucking couch man I've been thinking of it all fucking years Oh, my God. Somebody guessed it was going to be sourced for me. Somebody named AK syndrome figured it out. Nice. And you know what?

Somebody also asked to see my cat. I'm going to go do that real quick. Someone to hear Paul saying clout. That's another good one. The only reason I brought up Paul's comment is because I tried to click on someone else's and the list changed. There it is. Yeah, I can't remember. Follow my letterboxed if you want to know what the fuck I'm watching.

But I think I agree with you, Andrew. That's China Syndrome I saw for the first time this year as well. and I thought of it was an amazing picture. I mean, it's also from this here, but Steve McQueen's Lover's Rock. Oh, yeah. I finally got around to a cabin like two days ago. It's magnificent.

It's really incredible. You should watch it right now. It's incredible. What movie? Lovers Rock. Oh, I really want to do that. It dude, Steve, definitely strap in, like 70 minutes. You're in and you're out.

It's fucking beautiful. I like that. Oh, here's another good. We'll take a couple more. What's the worst movie you've been forced to watch with family over the holidays I remember there was an Armageddon screening

that involved a lot of tears and I was looking around like really? That's all right but that's not like that I mean I still remember being in awe of the movie I mean this is like old hat but like my mom is still loves love actually

oh yeah and every time I go home for the holidays I will endure as screening of love actually. Right. I mean, you could do worse. You can watch that fucking last Christmas that Emmett Thompson wrote. You can fucking apologize to me immediately. I got out easy with that. Like, I don't really spend time with what we call family. But I remember, I mean, it's a bad movie, but it's kind of fun. So maybe it's a non-answer. But I remember the only time in my entire life that we're like, we're going to the movies. on Thanksgiving and it felt like a huge event

and I was so excited because it was Arnold Schwarzenegger's end of days in 1999. And then the movie was kind of trash. But at the same time it was kind of fun. So, I don't know, I guess that's. My family wasn't a go-to-the-movies on Thanksgiving either, but we did once and only once

and it was a bug's life. And I'm like, that sucks. That sucks. That sucks. Me too, actually. Now you say that. Oh, really? Yeah. That's Woody Allen being like, And maybe we should. That's, that's aunt. Oh, geez, I'm an aunt. And here comes Sylvester Stallone.

I don't know. So you got ants with Woody Allen, and then you got a bug's life with Kevin Spacey. That's like an alien versus predator situation. And David Foley is the lead. Yes. Yes, David Foley is the lead of that movie. I saw, uh, rest in peace,

uh, Robin Williams in Flubber. Ooh, on Christmas Day. that was a Thanksgiving one I think oh okay oh yeah and that was tough that was tough to get through okay here we go last one of the evening folks let's take us home here from Blake asks worst holiday specials there is some and I haven't seen it in forever and I think it's lost in the sands of time it's a some rank it was a cart I think it was a cartoon where it was like people living at a clock with a bunch of mice. Am I nuts here?

I think it might be called the night before Christmas. It sucks shit. It was always on in my childhood. It's a race now. Maybe somebody's going to help me in the chat, but probably no one is because I'm the oldest. And my face is as red as Santa Claus with this mad elf beer.

This beard's kicking your ass live on the air. I'm loving it. It kind of is. It's all right, Steve. We support you. It's okay. You got this. I'm not sure if it's a special, but there was a Christmas episode of the West Wing

where Toby has to forgive his Jewish gangster father. As somebody whose grandfather was friends with Jewish gangsters, I'm like, get over it, man. It's a big brooding scene where he's like, I don't know if I can let you meet my children or meet my wife and I'm like get the fuck out in here be fucking happy you piece of shit come on what as per always always pro mafia jewish oh yeah absolutely whatever absolutely whatever I have not seen too many uh holiday specials but but the star wars one is actually good it's probably better than Revenge of the Sith so I say check it out I think I think I'm gonna rewatch that this year dude yeah I'm planning on it is it still on YouTube I don't know I have a I have a I have a

burnt on a DVD from some nefarious source. The Garfield Christmas still slaps. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, dude, no it does not. That's the movie where the fucking grandmother is like, oh, Garfield, thankfully you're sitting on my lap. What with my husband dying right before Christmas? I love it. Every year gets a little harder, Garfield.

I wished one thing from Santa this year and it was to be fucking dead Daniel Huss actually has a great idea for the beginning of next year Pro Mafia We Hate Movies T-shirts I love this idea I don't own any of our merch but I would own that I would absolutely own that

Dude you don't own any of our merch I just I don't know I haven't fucking around Like a big fat fucking billboard That's it you're a better man than me It's running around town Someone in the chat keeps on mentioning the T.J. Hooker episode Slay Ride, which is, yes,

that's an excellent Christmas episode. And it was the night before Christmas. People in the chat are correct. It was what I was talking about. The gross mouse one. Oh. Google image search. You'll throw up. Isn't there also a pseudo-Christmas

episode of dinosaurs? Am I making that up? Is that, or you're just talking about the end of dinosaurs when the Ice Age is about going to happen? Yeah, that's what Earl Sinclair went for his final sleigh ride. Did, like, the X-Files ever do, like, a, was it Santa Claus or was it, like, a serial killer thing? No, I mean, they never did that, but I feel like there was probably a set-at-Christmas episode that I don't remember. There's a terrible Buffy Christmas episode with Angel, and he's like, oh, I killed all these people.

I think it's called Amends, and it sucks shit. Oh, really? So that's like, what, like, season two, season three, maybe? Yeah, so I think it was, yeah, you know, Buffy's trying to ice skate, it sucks shit. I should tell you guys my wife is re-watching Buffy and I'm watching it along with her. Oh, nice.

The idea that I'm supposed to suffer Xander it's a real roadblock. You're tossing right out at me. He ages poorly like as a kid, I was like 16, I was like, that's the coolest guy on the show. As an adult

man, I'm like, that kid sucks ass. That's the thing, dude, because I didn't get to Buffy until a co-worker at the Burns turned me on in like 2008 or so so I was immediately able to be like oh that dude sucks shit I've no idea what any you

nerds are talking well I think you know what let's cut it there gang we've been having a ton of fun here tonight this has been a super size mailbag episode but hey it was the holiday spectacular you know we got to do what we can here you know obviously you know as we get to the end of the year

big thanks for everyone who is again just stuck with us through this year this year has speaking of suck shit it's been really trying so it's been really rad knowing that a lot of you guys are taking in the programming and like using it as a distraction and stuff

that's incredibly flattering and humbling and whatnot so you know we are hoping here on I believe also the first night of Hanukkah if I'm uh happy Hanukkah and happy Hanukkah of course and you know have a great holiday Hey, Chris, half happy Hanukkah and a quarter happy Hanukkah to myself as well.

Oh, okay. Hey, Eric, I'll see you at Christmas. Well, Steve don't know that. That's only for the halves and above, dude. Yeah, exactly. I'm in the quarter end of the lane, my friends. All right. Well, we will continue doing these live mailbags into 2021 because this is just so much darn fun, everybody.

So until the new year, I'm Andrew Jupin. Even Tadak. Eric Siska. Chris Cabin. Take it easy and we'll see you in 20, 21. Thank you.