We Hate Movies - S11: WHM Mail Bag - Watching 'Married to the Eiffel Tower' with Dad, Hanging with an Ex-KoЯn Member & More!

Episode Date: October 16, 2020

Here now is the audio from our live-streamed Mail Bag from September where we're reading a few letters about a guy watching Married to the Eiffel Tower with his father, someone getting to hang with Brian Welch from KoЯn, and much, much more! We wrapped up the night by taking some Q's from the audience and answering live! And be sure to watch our October Mail Bag episode which will be streaming LIVE this coming Thursday, October 22 at 8:00pm ET! It'll be broadcasting across our YouTube and Twitch channels, and our Twitter page! And if you have some spooky, Halloween-related stories to share or Q's for the gang, write into the mail bag: [e-mail]! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast. Welcome to our September mailbag, and we want to let people know in advance here now. We're getting spooky for the spooky season. Send in your spooky letters and your spooky stories. We all hate movies at gmail.com. And be sure to tune in Thursday, October 22nd at 8 p.m. Eastern. Again, that is 8 p.m. Eastern this coming Thursday, if you're listening to this before then. Before October 22nd, 2020.

So again, this coming Thursday, we will be on our YouTube channel, YouTube.com slash we hate movies, taking your questions and answers, reading your spooky stories, and yes, we are also simultaneously broadcasting on Twitch, Twitch.tv slash we hate movies. Be sure to subscribe to both and don't miss any of the action. Thank you. What's going on, look at this. It is the first mailbag of W. WHM Season 11.

I am coming to you live from the Anarchist District in Manhattan, New York City. I'm Andrew Juppin alongside Chris Cabin. Hello there. We got the Jame Master himself, Steve Sadek on the line. That's right. And of course, as always, the beautiful, be blondeed,

be skeleton, Eric Sisks. Yes, yeah. Skeleton. Skelton League, right, everyone? This is, yeah, it's the first mailbag of season 11. We're having a good time. I think it's good to see so many folks already ratting and rolling in the comments section

which is very cool. Someone says, check this shit out. Look at this. You ready for this? Where to go? Where to go? Where to go? What's happening? Boom, it's 3 a.m. and stopped sleep rituals to watch this. Oh, wow. That's my own.

Our bell would refer to. Exactly. We've got some sleep rituals here. Oh, so many people are thankful. I'm dead. Oh, no. He was a treasure. To some, to some. Rose says,

OMG, why is this so fancy? You know why, Rose? Because we care. We care. And you know, because of your Patreon dollars, probably a little bit of something of that, huh? That's like a pop-up video. Remember that from V.H. Von?

Look at this. Lori has great taste. Thank you, Lori. This is my van's Krusty Burger hat. Ooh, nice. I like that. All right.

So you guys know what the deal is. We read some letters. And I have to say, we got a collection of letters here, but, like, you know, we took a little break on this over the summer and, you know, because life is miserable.

We all had to find ourselves, honestly. You know what I mean? Just take a little time. But, you know, what else we had to find was letters in the fucking mailbag. True. We can't do this unless there's letters, man, so you have to write in, man.

You do. That's a mandatory thing of writing into the We Hate Movies Mailback, because the thing about it is, you know, it doesn't work unless you're doing it. So we all hate movies at gmail.com. Get your letters in to be read on the air, or questions for us, if they're good questions.

The gang has tossed off my many fakes. I've tried to write some fake fan letters. Oh, dude, you're not quite good enough. I look, this is not my main, you know, mode of expression with writing. Yeah, but you're more crooked than the actual post office cabin. I know. The post office

is our friend, I heard. We got to shut it down. We got to turn every post office into an Amazon staging area. By the way, of course, we are broadcasting all across some platforms here. We're on YouTube. We are on Twitter. We are on Twitch. I believe, though,

if you want to get into the chat and the convo and whatnot, we can only see what you're talking about via YouTube and Twitch. Oh, no, where are we brought? Cabin, what's your address real quick? Two, wait a minute. All right, gang, well, it's 2.0.

You've got to do the rest of the work, but I feel, you know. You can crack that. You can crack that code. It's not like that's kind of bird. Also, wait, no, I shouldn't say that. No. Look at the War Games computer on your address. Do you want to play a game?

Do you want to murder a cabin? It's the road again for me. Is that whiskey or water? What fucking water do you think we have in New York City? That's the New York City the way they run. Chud water. Chud juice. Classic NYC Chud juice.

No, this is a Manhattan. I'm drinking whiskey. Rice specifically. So we get the program started, I think, fellas. So we'll go, we'll do it this way, gang, just so you know in the chat what's going on. because there's a lot of stuff that's flying by and there's no way that we're going to remember it all

I'll remember it. I'll remember it. No, you know. I will. I will. Only I can fix it. And also, if somebody guesses Chris's address in the comments, Chris has to say yes. Okay. That's right. Can I guess it? Can I guess it in the comments? Really quickly, you want to see a double dose of great taste?

Look at Tristan Nicole. Oh, I like that. Watching Chud on Pluto TV. That includes all the commercial. which I you appreciate. It always kind of jars me when you watch stuff. Like, IFC does this now, like full-on nudity, full-on cursing, and then there's just an ad for like whatever soap.

Yeah, it jars you. It puts you in a jar? It puts me in a jar. So just how I pickle things. All that to say, folks, if you have questions, we're going to do a Q&A at the end of the letter reading. So hang on to the questions. Feel free to chat, obviously, and make remarks.

here and there. But if you do have a question that you want us to see and answer and maybe get on screen, just make sure you hold that bad boy until the end. So Steve Sadek kick us off in fashion like you always do. We got some letters to read this evening. The name has

begun. I am really excited about the title of this letter. I have not read this yet. Objectum sexualis. Oh, we're so fucked. You know what? Why don't you do mailback episodes? This is why objection, sexualist.

Hey guys, one side effect of the current pandemic one, is that I finally found the time to try and catch up on the podcast, and when I heard several of you mentioned having watched the documentary, married to the Eiffel Tower, not a documentary, though, let's easy with the D word there.

And that's coming from the king of fucking throwing that word around. But also, remember, gang, for searching on YouTube purposes, I married the Eiffel Tower. Yes, which is so beautiful. You got to see it. fucking losers up and down beautiful people not losers I don't get that word they're being open with their experience in the world and in love and I think it's very beautiful the lead subject uh was in love

with her archery bow and then she like a bow and arrow that's I mean that's the question right like you get like a long bow and you like shoot shoot a dildo into yourself or something I mean I don't know how that would work I don't want to I don't want to attend your weird sex Olympics dude Sort of, oh, yeah. Eric's more of like Ex-Olympics. I think the relationship with the bow is more of like a Jane Austen, like they sent letters to each other. On it off the long. Oh, by the way, I just want to point out because I believe I was wrong.

Here we go. We got a fella here using Twitter, using Periscope. So hello from the East Coast, Mr. Wyoming. That's pretty great. Okay. Myr de Devil Tire and an older mailbag app, and I knew I had to write in with my own experience watching it. When I was in my early 20s, still living at home. Nothing wrong with that, by the way.

Someone on this podcast lived at home for quite a while. Trying to guess which one. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. No, you won't. No, I got it written all over me. My whole thing, my old vibe is very new to this. When I was in my early 20s living at home, I developed a brief obsession with BBC's terrible, exploitative, look at these crazy people docs, most of which were,

Fortunately, unfortunately, available on YouTube. Is this the letter or is this you? Well, this is the letter. Oh, okay. It's the latest chapter of Steve's biography. The absolute nadir of the genre is 2008's married to the Eiffel Tower, which, as previously mentioned on the show,

covers people who experience object, sexuality, the sexual romantic attraction, pardon me. Get edit that out. Oh, yeah, you're live on the air, puking and stuff. You can't smell my delicious, doom sauce everybody oh man i wanted to get doom sauce i saw lord lord hobo put that out they did um i like that doom sauce so oh no it's lord hobo get out of your lord hobo that's a what it's a massachusetts brewery yeah and it's awesome uh double black IPA which i like the idea of but might make me gassy

uh adamant objects the main focus of the gas bag we're doing the gas The main focus of the documentary is Erica Eiffel, who not only did the titular title Eiffel Tower of Marriage, but it's also an Olympic archer who credits her success to the sport with her relationship with her beau Lance, by the way. This sucks. Hey, babe, I'm Lance. I'm a beau. Wait a second.

I'm Lance. Oh, I'm Lance. Oh, me. Oh, me. Oh, me. She legally needs. she legally changed her name to Eiffel? I mean, I don't know, man.

I'm calling myself the J. Master. Who knows what the fuck's right or wrong? Yeah, I guess that's true. My parents had 20 odd years at this point to get used to be, get used to being weird, so I figured it wouldn't be a problem watching the movie in the living room one weekend while they're both home. This is not something I would know. What a dumb

idea. I mean, even if you're, the joy of being in your early 20s is you close the door to your room and do whatever the fuck you do and everybody does to knock very loud before they come in and when your dad goes like no locked doors in this house you go I'm old enough to buy alcohol on my own you want to be living in darkness just not just to save electricity but then when your parents come in and they turn the light on you go like a cockroach and leave exactly and whatever you're watching goes with

you uh blah blah blah uh this went on for a few minutes until my dad who's always been a caricature of a suburban accountant happened to walk through the room, stop, and deliver a pitch perfect, what are you watching? Oh, sure. I explained, and he decided to sit down on the couch with me and watch some more. Well, now it's his problem. Yes. Things were still okay for a few more minutes, and my dad

alternated between taking pot shots of the people in the documentary and me for watching it. Hold on. Then they took a turn. He's kissing a potato. There's a scene in the documentary where Eiffel talks about her relationship with Lance, accompanied by shots of her lovingly removing the competition bow from its carrying case. Christ Almighty. As soon as my son started, my dad lost his mind, he began screaming at the top of his lungs.

No, no, no, no, turn it off, turn it off, turn it off. He George C. Scott and he hardcoreed? I finally had to fumble for the remote and pause the movie. once he finally calmed down oh my god was he like for i was like i can't believe it i cannot believe i can't believe him i imagine this dude like almost had a heart attack to touch me once he finally come down enough for me to ask what the hell was wrong with him he explained that he believed that they were about to show the eye full having sex with her bow oh man cool if they did, though, right?

I want to know, I honestly want to know how it works. Is there, there's an arrow involved? Well, you'll have to wait for the next Pixar short to find out. No, it's the boat, dude. Otherwise, it's a three-way. That's a good way. Okay.

I guess I could see how it would work, but I still don't think you should name it, Lance. I think it should be like, I don't know, feather. What do Bose use? Gary? He's called Gary. Gary? I guess Gary's kind of cool.

after Gary Condit But if you had like a jousting lance And you wanted to ride that Call it Lance all you want That's a better idea Just checking in for a second Kevin That was a Gary Condit reference I can't wait till quarantine's over

So I can see your time machine But nothing I said could convince him That this BBC documentary Which aired on British television In the late 2000s Wasn't going to show a woman Graphically pleasuring herself With her archery gear

He finally threw his hands up and says, don't you dare unpause that until I leave this room. Holy shit, this guy's losing his mind. Son, if you want to wake up in this house tomorrow, you just hold that play button back. I mean, I do sort of see this man. Like, you know, he's nicely letting you live in his house

pastime. And now this, he needs to be confronted with Lance. He finally threw his hands up so do you dare, blah, blah. and proceeded to hit the power button on the TV on his way out. I, of course, finished the movie, and my attempts to assure him later that there was no human beau love scene was only met with, okay, sure. Anyway, thank you so much.

Thank you so much. Love the show. It's been keeping me semi-sane through all of this. Once this is all over, I look forward to finally making it to one of your live shows. If you ever come back to the Midwest, Adam in Wisconsin, and thank you Adam. Sorry for your troubles. And thank God you got out. Thank God you got out, dude. Yeah, now you can watch all

the weird fucking sex criminal documentaries you want. Your old man's not going to be giving you a guff about it. I don't know who started it, but Beau Bridges is a really good name for the Oh, how right the chat's going off. Lerol has got it. I don't know. I think we're talking about,

oh, Felipe started it, maybe. I think Fred is pretty good. Someone suggested that. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah. Fred. That's not too bad. To go off of this letter. I was wondering, do you have any suggestions of where he could take this extreme interest next? What's the next up?

Like, okay, fucking a bow, fine. But I know you know you got darker shit you can enlighten everyone with. There was something on Netflix for a little while. It was also, it's all the BBC. That granny shaggers show, the BBC. Oh, age gap lovers. Age gap lovers. I have a big recommend. Yeah, that's a strong one.

Yeah, big recommend. Get your dad in for that. Weat TV. What the hell is that then called it's um it's it called my strange addiction or something like that fuck oh yeah people like eat toilet paper no no it's it's sexual it's sexual in nature counselor uh we tv sex show here it comes i googling it's ruining your fucking search history it's called extreme love um and that has like three segments of all sorts of people who are into uh various fetishes it's also kind of it's it's really incredibly cruel because it's like, and it's all British as well. It's like, here's people who are pony people and oh, here's someone who's doing adult baby. And here's a very large woman

married to a very small man. And I'm like, the third one is a little bit out there. I would put that into regular, normal stuff. What is pony people? That's where you dress like a pony and act like a horse for somebody. It's a subsect of the furry, phenomenon. It's not really furry. That's like more BDSM. There's a lot of leather involved and do you have like a huge like fake horse dick? I mean some of us are blessed with them.

I wouldn't say having an actual horse cock is a blessing, Steve. No, but yeah. So like, but yeah, that's the extreme love I would go on. But yes, it is always like, it's like, oh my God, look at all these freaky people. And this woman is very large. And this man is not so large. And I'm like,

let's not. we're grasping in straws we made too many episodes in the episode order he's a salamander she's a cat isn't it disgusting look at them

they just want each other look at that exactly there was like caring for a guy he had like really bad like ALS like he was in a wheelchair and I was like

look at this extreme love and I'm like come on I don't know is that extreme no it's just like called love. You know what, here? I'm watching some of the comments here. Rose hit something nail on the head here.

This is just so much work. Can't people just bone regular style anymore? Great question. By the way, in from the internet ticker, everybody. I'm going to do with David Letterman here. File photo, I believe, of someone who was really interested in that

I married the Eiffel Tower documentary. Okay. That's just, you know, I feel like that kind of mania, that kind of chain wearing, you know, they're also into fucking fence. I don't know where it is. It's on, it's on Netflix from the BBC where it's, it's like a Swinger's show. There's like five or six episodes. It's always just like trying to angle the threesome and stuff. It's amazing.

Oh, and that one is hosted by John Levitts. And which episode are you in, Steve? Not a big show? Not just yet. Well, you know, audition season is coming right around the corner. So, all right. Where are we off to here, Cabin? You're the postman here.

So head of the church, I guess I could take that one. Go for it, Big Daddy. All right, baby. Okay. I am a long-time listener, having gotten into the program around episode 133 copycat. That's a good one. Oh, wow, yeah. Classic 90s, serial.

killer thriller, but also excellent sweaters in that movie. Harry Kondick Jr. as a serial killer. Come on. I think it's Harry Connick Jr.'s Finest Hour. Might be. Could be. He played in Woody's cousin on Cheers for a couple episodes and you get to see him tickle the

Ivories there playing the peony, not too shabby. He is incredibly creepy in Stay tuned for sure. P.S. I love you. He's like in that movie? He's like terrifying. What is he's terrifying in what way?

He's like a, what he called there? He's like, just this dude that works at this bar. And he's like, I don't really have a filter. And he keeps like saying this weird shit. He says that he has this like really long thing after he gets broken up with by his girlfriend where he went to prostitutes, but that ran out of money. It's really, I went broke on prostitutes. It was just nothing wrong with that.

I went broke on prostitutes, I did. And now that is somehow couched in the movie where a, Gerard Butler plays a romantic ghost. Yes. It's a stay tuned for sure. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we'll get to that. But until the point, had no real good stories to send in.

But y'all had to go and do a corn cast. Now we're talking. So I finally have a worthy mailback story, strap in boys. So from age 12 to 22, I was heavily invested in church and Christianity. around 15 to 16 years old my best friend got involved with a new church group in town that called themselves reality

I sure wasn't nexium was there a four as an A it's the branch Davidians rebranding themselves oh shit it had to happen sooner later and for a few years they would put on a small concert event for the town

cool well this was a big year for them having sprung into a full church, so that meant extra money around for guests. I think you all know where this is going, though, no, I don't think everybody does. No, no, no. That year's mainline speaker was

none other than corn guitarist Brian Head Welch. Oh, head of the church. I get it. Yeah, there you go. As you can imagine for a small town America. This was edgy and exciting. Was it? And exciting

at least among the Christian teens. Okay, maybe. Well, of course they were excited, man. It was a fucking whitewood deadlocks or some shit probably. They all got head. Well, it's better than like say, I don't know, like whatever fucking not even Creed, but Creed knockoff. Like, Corn's a real act.

Yeah. Also, here's one of the greatest comments of the night so far. I just got to butt in here. Mansour, you are correct? Wow. Look at that. Look at that, everybody. Very kind.

Tell people. Tell people in power. Yes. Tell the media. Tell them all. I'll alert the media, sir. Sorry, Kevin. Nope.

So the event itself was pretty standard. He gave us some talks about not doing drugs. Big old lie. How else would have, how else would you have survived the pandemic this long without a few tall glasses of water? Exactly. loving the Lord and playing some hits from his Christian rock album he called Save Me from Myself. That is just terrible.

Oh, that sucks. That's some stain shit. Oh, yeah, it is. You think he's going to God scatting on that? Blue, bliss a blue, bliss a blockade, blah, blah, something like that. Praise you, praise you, praise you. Boom, sign of the cross. Boom, up the sign of the cross. Boom, blah, boom.

if he, ay, ay, ay, allahooia. If Hedder Monkey started doing that, would Jonathan Davis be angry with them? Oh, yeah, he would take him to court, dude. That's my thing. Hey, guys, that's my thing. Stop that. Fuck you. Stop that.

That's my thing. You'll be here from my lawyer. What's the name of that album? Save me from myself? Save me from myself. I don't know if you can get on Spotify. You probably get. Here's the thing.

I'm sorry, Steve, I'm sorry to cut you off. But breaking news here, a new great thing about the tech we're using right now. Here's a few seconds of the first track from Brian Welch's, save me from my show. Oh, come on, no. L-O-V-E is what it's called. Only doing a few seconds, everybody, so don't get too into it. Let's get to something here, dude. That's spooky music box, dude.

We're already there. Ooh. Yes. Yeah. I just want to hear some vocals. Come on. Give me something. Well, fuck it.

You couldn't get to the vocals. What is that? What do you skip ahead there? Get to the middle of it. Oh, you're totally right, Steve. Let's see here. I'll do a little skipping right to the middle of the track. Here we go.

Gird your loins again. Oh, man. The devil doesn't like that. Anyway. Steve, what were you saying? Kevin's still into it. Are you feeling the power of the Lord, Captain? I'm sorry.

Sorry. It was it was entrancing. So his album, included such gems as re-dash-bell washed by blood yeah you have to know that one a good old blood bath get it

and apropos flush so that first one I guess rebel like rebele yeah like rebel I don't know like rebirth rebirth rebirth rebirth rebel I guess so yeah like if Jesus was a Confederate soldier

something like that yeah I think exactly that yeah that's on a fucking plate somewhere in Alabama. Overall, Confederate Jesus is going to be at the inauguration for Trump's second term. Right up front. Overall, I left feeling like I had learned from someone on the other side of a hard life. This was before I learned how Welch handled himself offstage. My childhood best friend, we are still friends today, in fact.

That's awesome. was much more involved with this quote-unquote reality group and was a drummer in the group's band too. Spoiler, they turned into a mini cult story for another time. Yeah, here's that one back here. I don't want to offend the writer here,

but that's the story you should have wrote. You knew a fucking friend who got kind of involved in a music-related cult? Yeah, you better write into the mailbag. You don't need to tease me. You don't need to tease me. I'll read your letter. Send a new one in.

So he was, yes. So he was helping with all the behind the scenes going on of reality fest and with the head himself. So when I told him after the fact, I thought the talk was pretty cool. He didn't respond so favorably. Apparently offstage, Mr. Welch, you don't have to call Mr. Welch.

The man wants to be called head. call him and. Mr. Welch? Could you tell me about the rock music you make? It's possible this guy writes for the New York Times, though, and that's just how it's sure. Yeah, okay, that's fine. Yeah, that's just how they can't get that out. Uh-huh, okay. Did Jamel write this in? I would love it if he did.

Oh, man. Apparently offstage, Mr. Welch didn't take too kindly to our own, our down-home sensibilities. He had in his contract that he was only, to get a certain type of bottled water in his green room, certain kinds of snacks, and so on. You're talking to a fucking church group, asshole. I guess they had the money. They just went big.

They had a big church. You're just like the right fruit snacks, dude. That's what I'm saying. But if this is like a Joel Olstein level, like humongous thing, then you can handle a rider. That's true. I mean, what's the level of like mega church are we talking about here? It didn't seem like a mega church.

a church. It just seemed like a pretty big, like, congregation. Dirt church? Yeah. Dirt church. He was a tent revival. Places where you can still get like really big tins of potato salad made in bathubs. Yeah. You can get those. Repelies. Yes.

Corn dogs. If I recall. Yeah, with three of them. A big D backwards. If I recall correctly, he got most of the things he wanted, but didn't get the right kind of bottled water because Voss hadn't hit my rural Ohio

town yet. Makes sense. I don't remember when Voss came on the scene. But get fucked head. Have some Poland spring and shut the fuck up. And so yeah, I bet they bought like

Fuji, like Fiji for him or something like that. They probably actually tried. And so yeah, that made him pretty hostile to the volunteers at the Christian concert. God damn it. Just mouthing off at people about not having Voss Water and being a curmudgeon overall. No, that's an asshole. That's not a curmudgeon.

Cremudgeon stay home. I'm a curmudgeon. Just I'm seen in the comments. Sean Merrick asks, Angry Hero, Sean, whatever that number is. There is, does W.H.M. have a writer? and the answer is no it's always like oh if you could possibly have beer and maybe some pork

we'd be happy it is oh I'm shot we have our hat to if it's okay with everybody if there's a bathroom I could use it not if we could each split a can of Coors light now it would just be enough you guys are trying to make us sound relatable and down to earth but truly

I'm like if there it's only green M&M separate them out because those are the ones I want to fuck only Thai chili Doritos He's very stinching about it. Only purple bags. God damn it. You know what's crazy about you mentioning the dreaded purple bag?

I fucking crushed one yesterday. Oh, yeah, you did. The what? The caramel ones? Oh, no, we're talking about Doritos. Oh, I'm sorry. We're still in Eminem's. The sweet chili.

Ooh. Yeah. Good to hear from our good buddy, Sean Merrick. Little W.H.M. Inside Baseball. He was the producer on our old. network side show. Yeah. She's fantastic. I love that guy.

It was the quickest I had gone in my life from liking someone to thinking they were a complete tool satchel. I don't know what that means. Dick bag, dude. Oh, okay. I think this intersection of perception about

someone versus the reality of how someone really handles themselves was one of the first times I saw the hypocrisy of the evangelical culture and of Christianity in general. Anyway, y'all hope you had some laughs from this story. Happy belated 10th anniversary. Here's to 10 more. Best Tom.

Thank you, Tom. Only 10? Only going to wish us 10. You've offended Eric. Eric's coming for you now. This reminds me vaguely, and I'm just going to do it anyway, of, I went to Catholic School forever. and we are always

what really soured me on the church in general was the commingling of money that my family owed the church and religion kind of a thing so it was always like we owed the church we owed them a ton of fucking money I remember there was this priest

No there's this priest that come in in high school Everyone had to HAD had to get an SAT prep book And he was like you owe me money Your family owes me fucking money Those shoes you're wearing? Give them. Give them over. You would cover. Hi, everybody. Just water. In front of class. Do you, I know all's you's got the prep book. You all have it. I'm still missing quite a few of your $50 bills.

If I don't have it by the end of the week, I'm going to call your mother and I'm going to get nasty on the phone. Get nasty off the phone, this fucking pervert said? They literally, literally said, I would have to call your mother. and I'm going to get nasty on the phone. Hey, Dad, Steve's mother. Yeah, I'm so friggin horny, man, man. Is it all fucking worth? Is it all wet?

What are you wearing, you fucking cheap scape? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's that? What you got on? Pay me to stop. Pay me. All right. Pay me to stop.

All right, now that it's, I'm finished and it's dripping on the floor. You owe me $50. You bum, $50. I would call your mother. and I'm going to get nasty on a phone. You got a fucking eye on whether or not that dude's dead yet, Steve? She might be. He was in his late 50s.

This is like 2000. So, you know, yeah, because I got to say my piece of shit priest. I grew up, even though, you know, my mother was raised Irish Catholic. And this is like the biggest hilarity of the church. It was like, well, my friends go to this, you know, Italian Catholic church. So let's just go there. And, you know, you'd be surprised the difference. difference is one of them being man

the priests in the Italian church they love slapping kids in the face yeah so like you know so like you would leave the this uh I said the fucking ceremony you'd leave mass right like the priest is standing out there like oh thanks for showing up you like shake hands with you're supposed

to like kiss his ass and whatnot and this old motherfucker and you know thank God he's dead would just like slap kids in the fucking face and just be like how you doing like really like fucking going at it and I'm like seven years old. I'm like fucking second grade. And it's like, now go across the street

to the Sunday school and learn about why it's so awesome to love Jesus. Guarantee what was going on there is he's like smacking all these kids. He's like, oh, now my hand is all full of kids. That's how that worked. I mean, there was a dude that would like squeeze your hand like a priest. They would squeeze your hand.

Like, hey, real tough. I'm a real tough guy. Priest. Squeeze your hand. And then later he was certainly not convicted, but certainly accused of molesting kids. Really? Parish to perish.

The old spotlight trick called that. The old Catholic Church Cup game. Hopefully he's perished now. You just hope that all of them are fucking dead, dude. That's the hope.

Here, listen, let's make a vow. Everyone watching. Abandoned religion. Jack's got it right here. There we go. I don't get the money for that SAT prep book. I just cannot believe it. I'm going to call your mother

and get nasty on a phone. Also, you know what I got all the way through the SATs without a fucking prep book? This thing was like this thick. I swear to God. Total scam. If I don't get the money for that SAT prep book, I'm going to take your mother out for a nice dinner. I'm going to buy roses and chocolates. I'm going to bring her back to my house and then we're not going to be on the phone anymore we're going to be real life talking fucking nasty

that's what I'm trying to do now you get me that $50 suddenly you got a little brother that I could molest because I'm not into women sorry oh my god oh my god all right Chris Cabin who would you like to read the next one man oh I'm picking all of them

okay I guess this would be if he's the jay Master, you are the letter carrier. Okay, the letter carrier. Are you the game master? I'm the letter carrier. I guess this, I think Andrew has seen Neon Demon, so

you can do this. I see Neon Demon. Oh, then Eric can do it. I mean, I don't care. Andrew can do it. I don't care. No, give it to Eric. Eric will do it. I liked neon demon. Me too. I love that. I love that movie. I don't give a shit. I like that movie. I stood in front of an auditorium of like 30 people and was like, I think this is the best movie of the year. And they wanted

fucking murder me afterwards. By the way what's the scenario was this? What's that? What's scenario? At the end of every movie I'd be like, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, hold on. Everyone's stay in your seats. I was doing, I was hosting a screening of it in a series I curated at the Burns. So it was like I did an intro and then like came back afterwards to

like talk to everybody. And it was, they were like fucking horrified. And I was like, I don't give a shit. it's great it's great and you sat through it I also I loved only God forgives as well I never saw either of them and I love actually I'm sorry oh that happened with only God forgives not with the neon demon yeah because only God forgives people actually fucking hate like neon demon people are like kind of middle of the road about everyone saw on the und demon because it barely got a theatrical release Steve I cut you off man what were you saying

I know on listen to that one did anyone see that Amazon show he did I only go out at nighttime sometimes around now or whatever the hell it's called? Too old to die young or something? I thought it was called I'm going for a walk this afternoon. This is the first time I'm hearing about it, like most of these streaming shows. It's pretty good.

I was like, that'll keep me away from almost anything. That would keep me away from a fucking white castle. I haven't finished it, but I've watched the first two episodes and it's really good. Is that right? Yeah. Wow. It's like with Miles Teller, huh?

Well, I don't mind Miles Teller. But, like, I'm hitting this with Refin, and this is one of my, something I've liked a lot more than his other stuff. Like Drive, Neon Demon, and this are my favorite stuff. Okay. All right, Eric Siska, take it away. The neon jerk. Oh, by the way, I think only God forgives is better than the neon demon.

That's my opinion. Dear W.H.M. Gang, I thought I would share a not terribly exciting, but painful and shameful story from a screening of the neon demon, friend and I attended at the wonderful Los Felius Theater in Los Angeles Noah's signed seats which delights some of you. Yes, it would. I was just thinking about that

today, man, assigned seats. Man, remember like the quaint old days of you bitching about a sign seating at movie theaters? Yeah. I long for it. Well, I mean, I think now you're, I mean, that battle is lost. If we're allowed back in the movies ever again,

it's going to be a sign. Yeah, I'm just not going then. I'm just watching TV forever, I guess. Before sitting down, my friend left for concessions asking me to save her seat. I take the request in stride, but I've always found an incredibly stressful situation to be put in. I agree with this. Yeah, for sure. Unless you got a fucking giant coat, I can lay down and be like, you know, so much, oh, there's so much area.

But like, people get really indignant. And, oh, this is what I was thinking about a sign seating today. This is what I was thinking about today. Yeah, figure out where you got to point that. What you're pointing at? I don't know. The audience? I don't know.

I'm being aggressive. Are you threatening? Chris, do you remember we saw Shazam together in the theater? We did. We did. And we were watching this. We were like 20, 20, at least 20 minutes into the movie. And I'm not talking about trailers. It's important to point out, this is an eye.

max theater we're in. It's humongous. There's like 500 seats. There's five people in attendance, including me and Chris. Me and Shazama at an IMAX, you say? Yeah. The big Lincoln one. Oh man. That's we had a friend. We had a friend for noon at the Shazam. Exactly. So we saw Shazambers. Fucking rules. And we like walk in. It's like,

well, who really cares about the assigned seats? There's literally no one here. So me and Chris sit down and 20 minutes after the feature has started, Shazam has shazammed. Some guy approaches us and it's like, you're in my fucking seat. Was he that aggressive

about it? He didn't curse, but he was aggressive. He's like, to me anyway, I was traveling high, so everyone's aggressive then. But think of the monsters we've spawned. Like, why would anyone go to the theater in general? After that experience, oh my lord. Right.

God damn it, dude. What a That's so annoying. I mean, look, yeah. You lost the battle, dude. You're late. Yeah. You're late. Exactly.

If the motion picture is on, man, go fuck you. If it was just him, I would, I mean, I think we might have made a fuss. He had kids with him. Yeah. Yeah. I would have deck this fucker. I would be like, oh, yeah, you want a signed seat? Want to sign your teeth across the room.

But, and that's the problem with the sign seating. It makes people, like, they lord it over you. And they, it, I just can't. You know what, though? I have to say, I have to say, it was quite refreshing hearing that rant again. Yeah. Because it's been so long since we've had to hear it. I love it.

It feels normal again. Whatever we got to do to keep ourselves going, man. That's what I think. I got to come down from the anger streak. Yeah. There you go. I'll be the first to admit this is my own hang-up. I agreed with you, sir or madam, about this assigned, you know, not the assigned seating, but saving someone's seat.

Right. But it generally brings out the terror sweats. I totally relate to this. Thankfully, she throws her coat on the chair on the way out. Nice. Love the coat, the coat on the chair. Got to do the coat. Because you're taking half responsibility then, right?

If there's no, if there's a coat or something, like a shopping bag, if it's hot out, you know, like, then it's all on your friend. And fuck that. And the coat's not regional. Everybody knows the coat means don't fucking do it. Just stay away. Totally. I understand it's like this. You're like, no, it's all same.

All the stars. Pardon me, I'm going to take my pants off and put them across the seats. And hopefully that will stop you. And now I realize a sign seating might relieve some of the anxiety of saving a seat. Now I understand that angle. But anyway. So where on the coat? Yes, yes.

Needing my anxiety and allowing me to relax as the auditorium fills. Unfortunately, almost on cue, the stranger sitting to the left of me sits up, places her coat across three seats and turns to me. Hey, can you save these seats too? I don't fucking know you. Stranger interaction? Kiss my ass, dude. Stranger danger. That's the true stranger, stranger danger, dude.

and someone asking you to save seats and you've never met them before. We'll never have this situation again because the world is over, but the move is here, it's like, oh, sure, $20 a seat. And I will do my best to save them. Other than that, go fuck yourself.

Frozen in terror, I can only nod dumbly. This is probably something I would do and it would ruin my entire den. And watch or sprint down the aisle, I now begin praying for the stranger's speedy return before the various potentially awful. scenarios in my head become real.

You wrote this letter, didn't you, Eric? Let me see. Did I sign it? I know. It's not my name. I'm serious. Derek Shishka. I didn't pray hard enough. A new stranger approaches the first stranger's seats lifts the coat off of them and sits down. What? You don't pick up someone's coat? I'm not touching a dude's fucking clothing.

Dude, the savagery at this screening right now, I just can't even believe it. I think someone's saving those. It's not so bad for this person. It's awful. But she doesn't hear me. Rather than speak up, I decide to silently panic and let the situation play out.

Oh, man. I would recommend in this scenario, if you've already gone this far, pick up your shit and go to the other side of the theater and hope no one sees you. Keep your eyes peeled for your friend and just be like, I'm sorry that it all fell to shit while you were in the bathroom.

No seats are worth this. No seats whatsoever were. You always have a folded piece of paper in your pocket to see you at Applebee's and you leave it there for your friend. That's it. I'm gone, guys. I'm out. I hear just really quickly here. No, Neil, unfortunately, we're not going to be able

to transfer that one. But all the rest going forward, hopefully we'll be fine. No June mailbag, audio-wise. I'm sorry about that I kind of got away from us tell your friends though where to find an extra mailbag episode on our YouTube

channel and everyone should subscribe you know it helps support the show in a different way and we put fun shit up there there's also a mailbag only playlist on Spotify if you search for it yes anyway

all right here we go now where were we where were we okay upon returning the first stranger's the woman sitting in her seats and her face begins to darken darken I love this

this is a great letter written by Dean Coons oh wow excuse me I had that seat saved the seat dealer looks up no you didn't a pause I left my coat across it another pause

no you didn't you've got to be shitting me she's got you there I can't believe this is happening at the neon demon. I know. This should be happening in like a fucking afternoon screening of like Best Exotic Merigold Hotel, too. And coats in Los Angeles.

What's going on? That's great. Well, you know, it's a fashionable thing, you know. It's like, 79 degrees. Like, ooh, I'm really chilly. Yeah, yeah. Coats. Better put on my Canadian goose and put on my winter head wrap.

Maybe it's just like a lot of Los Angeles person. Maybe it's like a windbreaker or something, you know? That's fair. That's fair. Winter head wrap, by the way. Whatever. I guess I was trying to think of beanie. God, that's the word I would look for.

Okay, so darkened fate. Okay, we're going through the whole exchange here. At no point during this exchange, do I make any effort to defend or clarify? Absolutely. That is not your problem. The opportunity to prove myself a hero passes as the stranger begins to shout. Okay, I'm going to sit in the very back row now. I'm not going to do anything about this.

I just want everyone to know in this theater that you were a bad person. Everyone, this lady is a bad, nasty, expletive. Whoa, man, expletive. I'm kind of, I'm kind of down with this. Because if someone steals, you know, take it like saving, saving seats I never want to do once someone takes a coat off a seat and sits in it

they're the villain for the rest of their lives and I hope they get hit by a fucking bus also as we know from the famous in Bruges story you don't mind a scene you'll make a scene you'll make a huge scene yes if anyone doesn't know what that's in reference to I think it's in our SWAT episode

where I threatened to beat up the elderly sure that happens that's about right you gotta do it sometimes you do absolutely do he was probably a priest anyway so sure absolutely you gotta put the elderly in their place man priests love Colin Farrell I sometimes think about that couple

and how they must be long dead oh sure that was fucking years ago in Bruges and this guy was what are we talking like 2007 that movie came out I guess so yeah that sounds about right definitely dead dude 13 years different this guy had like the deposition of

Mitch McConnell. Oh my God, now I just realize I can't wait for 20 years to pass. That'll be kidding. Let's hope it's not 20 exactly though, maybe a... Oh, right. Yeah, he'll be in office for another 20 years probably. The stranger

then snatches her coat up from the floor and storms off. The seat stealer without missing a beat moves one seat down. Her eyes never betraying a hint of remorse or upset. My friend finally returns with snacks. I cannot believe how much played out while this person

was getting snacks. Must have been a long line, man. Yeah. For the rest of the film, periodically asked me about my shell-shocked expression, to which I respond, I'll tell you later. They were out of milk does. Do you fucking believe that? Shut up. Shut up.

The seat stealer watches the entire film silently and applauds at the end. Well, at least they like good films. Sure. Do you guys have any stories slash strong opinions about, I think we already covered Yeah, the etiquette of asking a stranger to save seats. Thanks for taking the time to read this and for hours of fun you've provided since 2016.

I guess this is a newer listener, so thank you, and please tell your friends, infect others. My job involves lots of driving and your podcast has been a huge source of laughter and joy during trips. I particularly enjoy the WLM EPS, David. Now, you could have just said, I mean, you said you lived in Los Angeles, so I know that most of your life is driving. driving Paul did you hear that driving we get a little driving music you gotta drive it don't that's our group late show with David Letterman impression fucking no Paul would have gone into like drive by the cars

yeah that's yeah that's the move that would be here my car Dave right you get here my car I'm going to drive you home, Dave. I'm going to drive you home tonight. We got one more. Ooh, I'm excited. There's one more letter in the mailbag gang. So folks at home and, you know, watching wherever, maybe not at home, get them questions ready.

We're going to do a little Q&A after this. So here we go. Get my cider here. Dude, this, it's the East Cider. Okay. Oh, down east rather, excuse me, from all. and pumpkin blend cider. Not too shabby for the fall season.

Nice. All right. Oh, and this cider would go great with this email and this kind of activity. The Dead for Noon movie. Hey, W.HM. It was 2010. My parents saw previews for the new movie Law Biding Citizen on a DVD. I didn't hear much from reviews and decided I would be skipping it. As I'm in my bedroom

playing video games, nice. I walked through the living room just as the movie was ending. Oh, Logan, my mom explains. Have you seen Law Biting Citizen yet? The movie had just got a home video release, so of course I hadn't.

My dad tells me, You've got to check it out. It's a really good movie. I mean, he gets him. I mean, son, I, you know, I've seen a lot of people get it, but a lot of people get it. this movie and I fucking loved it.

I don't know why I made this dude's dad drunk, but that's the law-abiding citizen. Come on. Excellent point, Steve. Thank you. I didn't think this movie could really be that good, but thinking about the times I forced my parents to watch movies, only I was interested in, like making

my dad watch Donnie Darko and Southland Tales on two different occasions. Hey, that's a good thing to do. Okay. Also, that's your dad's fault, dude, that you're even there. Wrap it up. And you can watch whatever the fuck you want. And since

my parents had the movie for an extra day, I told them I would be interested in watching it. The next day at about noon, thanks for the details. Unless it's important that we know the timestamp here. Let's see. My dad sends for my mom and sister to go to Pizza Hut pick up two pizzas and a leader

of seven up for this of meat lovers. They arrive at Pizza Hut at 1215. Interior Pizza Hut. It smells like shit. Come on. What? You don't think it smells like shit?

No, just the idea of sending someone to Pizza Hut is just such a dire consequence. You go to the Pizza Hut. Yeah, that's really lazy. And by the way, a leader of seven up? The fuck's that? I don't know. I don't even know. A family three, you're going to take a leader.

of seven up. Get out. I haven't seen a leader in like fucking 20 years. You're doing the fucking diehard fucking water challenge trying to get a leader at a fucking seven up. Was that like that weird like long bottle that existed briefly? But the two leader

was king in these United States. I think the big boy, the three leader. That guy's also gone out of fashion as well. Yeah. Yeah. I think they were like you know what? We can't be that obvious about how we're killing people. You needed to have like two people to carry one of those three leaders.

They were head. You could fucking murder somebody with one of those. You put into like a big pillowcase and beat him to that. Oh, yeah, dude. You get like a mentos in that. You can fucking take out a city block. Yeah, you're here tonight. We're going to three leader the new kid.

Put a three liter in a pillowcase and we're just going to hit him with it. It's a Coke party. I thought it was going to be cocaine and they hit me with three leaders. Listen, I want you to go to Pizza Hut. Give me a meat lover's pizza and a leader in seven. up or I'm going to get nasty on the phone. I'm going to call your fucking mother and get nasty

with his on the phones. If you don't come back with a meat lover stuffed with cheese and the crust. You understand me? You understand that? I'm going to call your mother a fucking slut over the phone. I like to eat it backwards. Oh, yeah, the switch around. Oh, man.

The switch around. I'm going to do a switch around on your mother if you don't get me in SAT. Brett money. tomorrow. Yeah, you might have probably liked to get a little switcharoos, huh? All right. Two pizzas and a leader of seven up for this lazy bastard.

For this event of a movie, they get home and we fire it up. Honestly, the pizza my dad asked for with anchovies on. Antchovies for Pizza Hut. This dude's a fucking terrorist. Not on your life. What is that? This guy's trying to murder his family. He's a law-biting citizen himself, dude.

This is crazy dog. This fucking date line NBC shit. Antchobies from pizza. Do you want your ass to fall out of your body? It's got to be the worst. Like they're grown and canned in Missouri or something or factory farm. Totally fine and delicious, but you got to get them the right way. Yeah, exactly.

You've got to get them to the right place. Not from the hut. Okay. The anchovies on it might have been the only thing I liked about the movie. The opening sequence with the light sexual content was a bit much for my parents, as they told me, you don't have to watch this part. Cover your eyes. Not that I would have wanted to.

The stuff with the criminal getting cut up with a skill saw actually yielded a, that's not a punishment enough for those bastards. I mean, I think it's supposed to be over. I think you're missing the point of the film. You get them, Jerry. You get them. You get those bastards. Jerry Butler stabbing a dude

with a T-bone steak was something else and the judge in the cell phone scene while cool just made me think of the dark night in terms of convenience and exploding cell phones when the movie ended both my mom and dad enjoyed it almost as much as they did the first time I finished it not really caring for it that's fair

disappointing your parents though at every turn I feel you know Kevin I didn't think I understood what the word Oscar caliber meant before. But after seeing this, now I get it. That quality. I get it now.

Both my mom and dad, oh, I said that part, let's see. And my parents were in awe that I didn't like it. They put the movie on a third time. What? Setting a record for any movie my parents have watched with

this must interest since Avatar got a DVD release. When they watched that about six or seven times. My God. That's horrible. Yeah. Watching Avatar seven times

in the window of like when you rented it. I'm putting on my stories. It's got the blue people. The blue people have sucks with hair. Seven times though. All right, Kevin, time for another family movie night.

Will it be Avatar or law-abided citizen? Those are your only choices. With the exception of my parents and Roger Ebert's remarkable three-star review for law-abiding citizen, I haven't thought much about it until you guys covered it for the show. My wife is a big fan of Gerard Butler's movies, so of course Jerry Bees of is in my collection. Maybe it's due for a rewatch to see if time has made me lighten up on it. Nope. When you guys do Gamer, I'll have the Blu-ray copy ready to go.

Amor is borderline unwatchable. I will say that it is awful, top to bottom, at least law-bying citizen, there's stuff to latch on to. So you're saying it's not an episode then? Anything's an episode, right? Right. Love the show.

You guys have been helping keep my spirits up. Hope you are all doing well, Logan. Thanks, man. Thank you, Logan. We're doing it all right. We all got to take in there, man. You know what I'm saying? I tried to throw this and it failed.

that fell down in front of me. You just got beaten by a piece of paper, dude. Think about that for a while. Yeah, that's pretty embarrassing, man. Having your parents really love a movie that is garbage. It's also just a weird movie for parents to like. I don't know.

I mean, like, liking a movie is fine, but, like, watching it four times in the space of, like, 48 hours is a lot. Although, I definitely have a nostalgic response to the idea of, like, having pizza hot pizza and having your dad and like having my dad like you gotta watch this movie you're gonna watch this we're gonna eat a pizza together this is man this is man on man bonding so what movie yeah exactly uh it was it was hudson hawk you do have a weird thing about hudson hawk i do have a weird thing with hudson hawk i kind

of like that movie and it's because i have nostalgia for it because we've been friends for like 20 years and that a new door in my understanding of you just opened up that's exactly what the came to my heart in all times was meatlover pizzas that is a Hudson Hawk is a stay tuned yes right so is avatar well maybe we'll do it when those new movies come out actually they're never going to come out so we'll do it sometimes five years with avatar and I got to tell you dude like I will wait till then I've never lost interest harder in a property than I did with Avatar like I just I flat out don't care I kind of I don't think I think the hate for is a little much and I also think the love for it is a little bit much I think it's fine no I mean that's

the thing like I don't I'm not saying I hate it it's just like I just don't care anymore yeah who cares curious because of Cameron's like weird like slaving over these sequels that are never going to happen yada yada yada you know what I mean right right yeah I guess that's true someone in the chat says that the WHM gang are my surrogate parents and I want to say, go to bed. Or go to that child services on yourself. Get in here and watch Longbiting Citizen. All right, gang, so we're going to turn it over for a little Q&A, throw them at us,

and we will try our best to catch some and throw them up on the screen here. I did see somebody say, when will it be Dick Tracy time? It's on the docket. It's going to happen for sure. Oh, here we go. Here's what I like. This is different and not about shit. Kaylee asks, how are the WHM pets holding up?

That's, let's go around the horn. I will wait. Marty is, she's never been happier to have us, Chelsea and I both home in quarantine. So it's going to be a rude awakening if we ever go back to work. But she's cool. I will weigh in and say, oh, not good. Do you see that back there? That's on the cat tree.

My dog, Orson, is good. I'm doing the walks now. My wife was teaching, she's a teacher and she was teaching from home for a while, but now she's gone. So now he looks to me at 9 a.m. in the morning. I'm like, let's go. Oh, yeah, dude. I'm on morning duty, too. It's fun, though. It's good to get the morning

air. Here we go. Oh, sorry, Steve. I forgot. No, I have two cats. One, I set an alarm in the morning because I have to wake them up and feed them at seven, and I'm a lazy son of a bitch. I don't get a full of 830, even though I work at 9. I'm working from home, so it gives a shit. But, like,

You know, I feed the cats, and what happens often is one of the cats will zip into the bathroom and then I'll close it and then I'll go to feed the cats and the cat is now trapped in the bathroom. That's fun. And that's happened a couple of times where I'm like, why am I? Oh, oh, and I come out and he's like, what the fuck? And I'm like, why did you go in there? A whole argument at 7 o'clock in the morning. That's pretty great. It seemed to have a real, like, rat attack back and forth relationship.

We do. That's nice. This one is kind of, let's see, we'll go to, here, we'll try this one out. Have you guys seen money plane and will you review it? I've got an opportunity. You have? Chris loves it. Chris took the money plane.

I took the money plane. It's almost certainly a lock for worst of 2020. It's quite something. What is Frazier saying that? I'm a badass motherfucker. I mean, he says, I mean, like, literally you would have to write down every line he says. That was like the famous line from the trailer I thought was, I'm one badass motherfucker. He says that.

He has this really ridiculous name that I'm forgetting right now. If somebody wants to look up on IMDB, his name is insane. Darius Grouch the third or something. Oscar the Grouch. Dr. Henry McCoy, the beast. Oh, you get the point. Here's a good one. and I'm actually kind of curious about you guys

see which one of us is closest to death. Elena asks favorite quarantine midnight snack slash food. Whiskey. Yeah, it's definitely whiskey. It's kind of booze at this point.

I mean, like, I'm not really a midnight snacker. I'm just like a big dinner guy. It's just like, let's do dinner, but do dinner. I'll come back to Steve Sanex, big dinner guy. Big dinner. Exactly.

I would say it's getting the toss-up between weed and Taco Bell, which I'll be ordering immediately after this broadcast. Yeah, just weed, all weed, just a lot of that. Oh, that's good to get fiber, you know. Yeah, just chomping it down. So when you prune your garden, you know, you just... I prune it into my mouth like this. Oh, God.

Will you be having a midnight snack? Nope, sorry, still chew it on my big dinner right here. You got the big dinner showy. Dinner lasts generally five to six hours. You know, the thing. that's good about a big dinner is there's a breakfast and a lunch in there. So I get

at all at the same time. Oh, what a big dinner. What a big dinner. Honey, that was a big dinner. See, the only time you can eat a whole ham is during the big dinner. Okay, so imagine this. It's dinner

but big. Not a big dinner. Just big dinner. It's cleaner. Here we go. As a bunch of New Yorkers, what's your relationship to Times Square a vortex of hell yeah to or of hell generally I only ever go there

to see a movie but I usually do not want to go to one of those theaters but sometimes I do yeah it's like if I have a screaming at Paramount which is very rare and obviously not in the last six months or like if you're going to see some legitimate

theater which we are known to do a little bit of that but otherwise I mean don't If you're asking because you're planning a trip for some reason, don't fucking eat there. No. Don't spend too much time walking around. Do you want to hear something sick? I mean, I've spent like the last, I've changed jobs in the last six years once. I was asked to leave one.

And they both. It was this job and we're still waiting. Oh, you can keep asking. But it's the, like, my old job and my new job both were close enough to Times Square that I've like been fucking around Times Square, like, really aggressively. for the last like eight years and honestly I fucking miss it it's gross yeah I kind of do you know it sucks and I hate it it's disgusting it any if it's hot you want to you want to die if it's a cold if it's around Christmas just kill yourself don't even bother but like I do miss it I literally miss it right now

you know what Chelsea and I like drove through it once uh like intentionally during all of this we did a like it was like the first trip we took in the car like since everything happened and we like drove downtown and drove all around and it was like yeah let's let's do it like let's go drive by and like see all the theaters and stuff and it was i i got to say i do totally miss it um let's see here oh here's one that's interesting is ultraviolet still the worst movie you have all done for an episode probably i feel like i've said it recently that a lot of movies i dislike i say are the worst ones we've ever done nothing was quite as visually punishing as that one was No, it was like a bit, that's thing, that movie, I mean, with a movie coming up very soon,

it's just so disconnected and like narratively bankrupt. It's just sort of like, it is the worst one, I think, for sure, for me anyway. I get more kitsch factor out of that fucking Brett, whatever that movie was, the Brett Michael's movie for sure. Oh, for sure, yeah. Yeah. Defro or whatever it's called. Human centipede's got a curio factor. And plus it's the first date that I've ever had with my wife on a movie.

That's going to always be there. I'll never get over that. You deserve your own, like, YouTube documentary. Dude, I would never let those fuckers in my house. The peed people. Look at all these peed defiles. He has paedophile. And now here he is eating his big dinner alone.

He's taking his shirt off. The dinner has grown larger. You see, he eats the dinner while texting Tom Six. Oh, look at that. He's putting in his DVD screener of the Unani Club. What's so great about that is if you're part of a human centipede, you need a big dinner. You're eating a big dinner. You're eating a big dinner whether you like it or not.

That's true if you're the lower ends for sure. Hey, I'm sorry back there, but I had to have a big dinner. This one comes to us from our good buddy, the talented artist, P.L. Boucher. who, if you have seen our beautiful Muldoon's artwork that we have in the merch store, PL is responsible for that. And the new one, did we, did we plug that at all? Oh, yeah, I don't, did we list that yet on T Public?

By the, we didn't really plug it. I don't know if we put up the new Muldoon's artwork, but it's fantastic. And P.L. has done fantastic work. Felipe has done also great work that we just put up. And by the way, all of our proceeds that we receive from our T-Public store are going to Black Lives Matter adjacent charities. We're donating everything the entire year, January to January to charity. So if you want to pick up merch, it's a great dime for a good cause. But if you go to wh-hmpodcast.com right now, there'll be a pop-up that you could donate directly.

You don't have to get merch, obviously. You could just donate directly, and we point you to those charities. But we uploaded three new designs today. One is the VHS trailer game t-shirt, the corncast t-shirt. Get that before they take it down. Get that before they take it down, I think is a... I'm not being sarcastic. It's an excellent sales pitch.

Exactly. An egg lawyer. An egg lawyer will come to YouTube at some point. We'll do a super cut, but egg lawyer as a t-shirt is available now. I cannot believe I'm saying those words. I'm not to say it all by Philippe Sabrero, our good, good friend. Yeah, we are super blessed to be in the company

of such a talented artist. And I'm trying to, here's what I'm going to do everybody. I couldn't get it to download, but I think I'm going to do a quick share screen here. If you all will be careful, dude, watch your tabs. Tabs are all right, got the tabs covered.

What's that? Oh my God, the tentacles. No, I just, I want to show everybody here. This is egg lawyer by Felipe. Can y'all see that? Yes, we can. Let me take the appeals thing for a great. Yeah, that is it looks so much like the guy from the movie.

It's so good. It's like down to the bow tie, which I think is pretty great. So yeah, just plugging some of the merch there. Whoops, there we go. Sorry, guys. So PL anyway, asks, most underrated actor working these days. Great question.

I've been saying this, I feel, for like, 10 years. And it's still totally true, I think. John Carroll Lynch still has not gotten his due. Yeah. I can think that dude's great. We rewatched Zodiac, the director's cut in quarantine, like a few months back. He's chilling in that movie.

And he can also be hilarious. You know, he's in comedies, too, Drew Carey show. Like, dude has not gotten his dude. Def deserves it. I'm going to go, just because I'm getting really into the boys right now, No spoilers for the boys. Only four reps in. Carl Urban, man.

That guy just does it. He does it all the time. I'm not even the world's biggest fan of Dread. I kind of hate it. But he's always great. He always knows exactly what to do. I kind of do. He always knows exactly what to do in any project.

And he can be a lead. I think he's probably better as a supporting actor, but he's fantastic, big fan. I have not seen the boys, but I want to echo Carl Urban because I think he's fantastic. I think Dred is one of the best movies ever made. and it's fucking great end of answer well think what from mine

Holt McKinney Oh Holt McIcanny I love him I've loved him for a long time and I was sad that he only had that one scene to Justice League and then he went away someone with chat says almost human

was great and I was also the other person watching that show is you and me and I don't know and I It was really good. It was, like, good for, like, this whole cyberpunk Android angle. Also, for the boys, he's using that natural accent, and I'm like, Carl Urban, even sexier, okay, whatever you say, guys. You let him be Australian in that show?

New Zealand, he's got it. He's just, he's calling her, he's saying the C word a bunch. I got to check it out. I don't hear that C word. Yeah. It's a fun show. All right, fellas, what do you think? A couple more.

Yeah, let's keep it rolling. All right, well, this one. This one has come up a couple times, and I appreciate persistence. So Nile asks, if forced, what inanimate object would you go, Mary? For a question, wow. I got one. My pocket knife. I have a Swiss Army knife.

I got when I was 13 in Vienna, Austria. And it's been with me my entire adult life in my pocket everywhere I go. So it just seems like that's a natural thing. to marry. I'm not going to put it up my butt. I've married because it's the only thing I've kept for all those years. My wife got me a leatherbound copy of a Raymond Carver book for our anniversary last year.

That's it. It's because it's a book. I'm happy with books. Oh, I kind of hate it. I guess this is probably a good time. Hold on one second here. My former partner, Bella the ball jar. so this would be my choice. It's nice that you guys broke up but could stay friends.

Yes, I mean, she's living in my house. She's living in my house. I'd marry my turntable, and I wouldn't fuck it. I would not fuck it. Would you like splatter on it, Thall, and it'll roll around like a fucking, what was those stentic, what was a stenogram art or whatever that was called? A spiroft? Yes.

Yes. You know, there's a direct correlation to come on turntables to the rise of game. you like you look at that turntable and you could produce art like a jackson pollock as sexual painting yeah man it was a great way to waste 20 dollars uh let's see here oh by the way felipe points out when everybody tobo yeah of course that's all i mean it flebe is correct but yeah but he's heralded everybody knows steven toble come back come bad everybody I mean, heralded in our circles, maybe. Yeah.

You know. I mean, actors today, I mean, there's not enough. Those middle-brow movies is where you get those really nice choice underrated actors and they don't, they don't exist anymore. I don't remember this and we can tell the story of seeing it if we want to. Marika asks, are you guys ever going to talk about Arnold and Cargo shorts in Terminator in Dark? eventually for sure I thought that movie was bad I think it was

I think Genesis was way better Genesis is way better Genesis like Jason X is a high budget fan film and it's totally and I got to like you know we've told the story on the air before about when the three of us saw it in L.A. Not for all the weed in the world could you make that movie good? I was terrified

sitting next to Chris Cabin during that movie while he was high in screaming and it's at the arc light, which are like actual Nazis run that theater, so it was terrified. You're actually acting like there were Janice series walking around. They're kind of work. I mean, I was in the optimum place. I was the guy saving the seat, basically. That was my role.

I was controlling the situation, so you didn't get murdered. Somebody that, as somebody that met up with you guys right afterwards, me and my brother went to see marriage story separately. and came up to see you guys. You guys were on fucking Mars. So everything is with a small grade of salt. Do you think, holy shit, this is an experiment? I should re-watch that movie and see if it actually sucked.

I'm sure. Maybe I'm wrong. No, because I was at optimum fit. I'm high as hell. All I need is like stupid Terminator shit to happen, and I'm happy. And they did give me stupid Terminator shit. I have never seen you more wasted. I was really high.

I was really high and I was really pissed off and then I saw a fucking Arnold in the fucking shorts and I was just like no I can't fucking do this no I am now I'm living a quiet life in these lodge that I built myself but I'm still a robot may I ask I just may answer just because a nice gentleman's been saying it every 15 seconds yes I really loved the good and the bad and the ugly I've never never saw before I watched a little couple of weeks ago Did you watch the other ones? No, I just watched that one. You should definitely watch the other ones. Like a fistful of dollars is just, you know, Jimbo and it rules. And then a few dollars more is also good. Eli Wallach, I'm like, that's me in the Old West, man, except for the actually being good with gun stuff.

But like, just an ugly fuck that nobody likes. I'm like, great, that's me. So we'll do two more here. Jonathan has any words on Michael Chapman? Yes, of course, RIP, a fucking stone cold talent, man, in every sense of the word. He ruled. All his Scorsese stuff is amazing. Totally. I mean

his entire stuff, all of his stuff was great. Right. It's one of those things where it's like, you know, you think about someone like Scorsese and it's like, yeah, he's a very talented guy. But like, man, the Scorsese Chapman, like team up, man. That's fine. Like, look at taxi driver. Look at that shit. He did Raging Bull, too, right? Yep. Yep. Yeah. Like just total talent, man. And it sucks. You know, we're losing the legends, man.

We lost Davio. We lost him. Gordon Willis is gone. The Prince of Darkness himself. You know, total bummer. Here we go. Here's one for everybody. Favorite impression to do.

That's quite a question. I very rarely get to break it out, and I very rarely get to shoehorn into things. I just love doing Alan Alda. It's just fun. And you're so good at it, too, dude. You have these all the country mile for sure. I will say

Balushi because Jim Belushi that is a marijuana farmer from the beginning of the show I think because it just

doing the impression fueled my like weird obsession with him and like making fun of him incessantly on the show and in public and

to the point where he's blocked me on Twitter it is just that I checked and I'm like he's okay with me

I think I like Busey I like Trump I like Arnold yeah I like the three I can sort of do you are a great Trumpist my friend I what's so funny when we did the Ghost Can't Do It episode before the 2016 election we thought that'd be funny

and it turned out not to be I had no idea I had a Trump impression but I guess the thing is, it's just I was a schlubby blonde guy living in Queens long enough that it kind of correlates. You're all psychically connected somehow. Exactly. We've got the dark energy,

right? Yeah. Mary Ann Williamson was warning us about it. Oh, right. She had all the answers, dude. We just didn't listen. She's kind of great. Put crystals around yourself to protect yourself from Erick's this season. Yeah. Got to look up for them, Eric's,

dude. I grew up in Woodstock, so Her message resonated. I bet. I can see it. I like doing Segal. Because the less energy you put into it, the better it gets. Yeah, that totally checks why it's yours, buddy. That should be a Twitter bio, my friend.

Oh, someone in the chat says $40. Oh, yeah. Anyone follows me on Twitter. I've been highlighting this. There's a commercial called Deal Dash. I mean, it's probably on YouTube where you're watching this. And this guy goes like, I got these four suitcases

for under $40. And it's just this weird, like, there's an N in dollars. It's just like it doesn't make sense. $1,000. I love that guy. I like that. $1,000. And if you're on the East Coast or specifically in New Jersey, the Bedfair

Casino, me and my dad play Bedfair Casino. He's playing it. It's at the Wiss. No, he's got to remember the days when you had to go put out a suit to go fucking casinos. Not anymore. I was born in a toilet

full of cigarettes. This woman's voice is so delicious. I'm crying in the corner, seven days a week, asking him to stop shitting himself on the couch and playing the casino.

He won't stop. My favorite thing about that Bed Fair casino ad, I know we're talking about like regional New Jersey casino online gambling ad, so no one, I mean,

I feel bad for people. But I mean, I feel bad for the people. But, is the guy's like you used to have to wear a sport coat to gamble now I can just fucking be in my Jimmy Johns in my fucking living room finally my jeans with the hole in the crotch

can help me gamble they used to make you piss in a urinal where am I this one all right we'll do this is the last one and I'll take it into a nice little promo for some upcoming programming so CM asks

Spooke's back to the question. Which slasher are you? Am I? I was offended. I love Philippe more than anything. I'm offended that I'm Chucky. I know that I'm a short gentleman. I get it. But you know, there was other ones there. Leatherface could have been there. I'm a fucking freakadoo. I don't know. I guess Norman Bates, because I'm a huge, huge coward. I think that's what it is. You're a watcher, dude. Exactly. A huge creep, but a huge coward. I love Phile. No, don't apologize, Philippe. You know, he drew me as Michael

Myers. It's pretty good. I think that or Jason, I'm kind of a strong silent type in my real life. You guys don't know the real me. I mean, I don't think I know the real me either, though. So, well, I guess we'll have to wait and see. Yeah. When it happens. I would say

for me, leather face just due to my affinity for tubed meats. I was going to see shit. I was going to say leather face, too, because it's the least amount of upkeep. Oh, yeah. Dude, you can just be a huge scumbagged forever. You just have blood all over you and gristle

all the time. It's beautiful. That's a good point. Like, Leatherface, sometimes you just wake up, you just put on that apron, you're ready to go. Like, that's it. What's that? It's from home. That is excellent.

You can wake up at 8.30 before he kills at 9. I mean, you can wash the suit in a bucket, if you so wished. Or you could just go and fucking do it another day. Who cares? all right gang i think that's going to do it for the september mailbag you know and we'll get the audio out

when we can this audio will come out so don't sweat it we'll be back on schedule with that and just again we all hate movies at gmail.com send us to your Halloween-ish related letters for the mailbag and by the way if you've been listening to this in audio form obviously you've heard references to visual moments so check up our youtube channel and our twitch channel we also stream to whenever we do these totally we want to plug any programming next week on the show we got cool worlds going on i will be uploading for our patreon folks uh the inside man episode

yeah yeah and then we got the nexus also coming out next week totally good one it's actually long i didn't tell you guys but it's like 90 well at least 90 minutes i think isn't and isn't a chud on the way chud and terry's coming out i got a get that uploaded as well. So lots of content in these last... And also early October weekend number two, weekend pass number two, you

want to hit up the Salem Horror Fest for our Witchboard episode and our Tales from the Crypt episode, one price gets you both and it gets you a bunch of other stuff. And we don't control the prices, folks. I apologize for it. But it is what it is. It's going to be super fun. I want any questions to them. And if you enjoyed

this, it's like this. It's a live to tape episode. it's just us doing it. I think it's the first time we've ever done an actual episode on video. Like an actual episode on video. Put it out of something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. True.

So that's right. So thanks for hanging. This was a lot of fun, as always. Until next time, I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Sadek. Yeah. Let's go. Chris Kavan.

Take it easy. You know, That was a hate gum podcast.