We Hate Movies - S12 Ep571: An American Werewolf in Paris

Episode Date: October 5, 2021

On this episode, the 2021 Halloween Spooktacular kicks in on the main feed (the party already started over on Patreon) as the guys chat about the absolutely ridiculous sequel, An American Werewolf in Paris! Could these werewolves have looked any worse with this CGI? Is Julie Delpy's character actually supposed to be the daughter of Alex and David? And why did we need these two obnoxious buddies? PLUS: A post-production audio library that may be sold out of wolf noises, but does offer plenty of lackluster replacement options!  An American Werewolf in Paris stars Tom Everett Scott, Julie Delpy, Vince Vieluf, Phil Buckman, Pierre Cosso, and Julie Bowen; directed by Anthony Waller. Catch WHM on tour starting next week! New Chicago date added! WHM Merch Store Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the program, why invest in groundbreaking animatronics when you can just dump in some of the worst CGI you've ever seen in your life? It's an American werewolf in Paris. I'm Andrew Juppin. Steven Seidac has zero sex points. Eric Siska. Sockle Blair, Chris Cabin. And we hate movies. We all go a little mad sometimes.

You know, it's Halloween. I guess everyone's a title of one good scare. Sometimes, that is better. Zombies have entered the building. They're at the door. They're coming in! It is time to keep your appointment with the Wicca Man. They're coming to get you, Barbara. He's sick for fucks using one too many movies. Now, Sid! Don't you blame the movies!

Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative. Put the fucking looser in the bad. It's an excellent day for an exorcism. Hello, everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in. As always, that's right.

Welcome to it. We're in it now. We're fist deep. And the We Hate Movies Halloween Spooktacular. We're talking an American Werewolf in Paris from 1997, directed by some God. named Anthony Waller. Wait, there's fisting this movie. Did I miss something? I wish there was fisting in this movie. Extra

Half Star on Letterbox. Hey, Tom Everett, bend over and I'll show you. Get in the cruising sling and get ready for it. Even if they had like a puppet play one of these fucking wolf things. Dude, imagine Tom Everett, Scott goes up to a werewolf when he just goes, um, hips or lips.

By the way, just accidentally. And this is not going to happen. This is not going to be throughout the rest of the month, but we're still doing two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two. We should mention at the top that one is available on the Patreon, American werewolf, in London, vastly superior. Oh my God, in literally every way imaginable.

Also known as the good one. Yes, that's patreon.com slash we ate movies for a full-length episode. And before, what, featuring some really dirty Muppet stuff, if I remember properly. Whatever that Muppet show, like the fake Muppets, they're watching on the TV. Because it's during the like the dream sequence with the Nazi werewolves. I think we have like a whole bit about what, like Kermit fucking or something? You're going to love it, folks. Before we give that away for free, let me just hit play really quickly.

Oh, coming soon to theater. I knew it. Oh, yeah. It's a very spooky VHS trailer game, America's favorite game show that revolves around us. obsolete materials. We are here in season two. Season two for legends. These are legends.

America's favorite, huh? Do we have a poll out or something? I did some, yeah, I, I talked to a very shady firm. They were able to confirm that for me. American Idol is out, buddy. It's all about the VHS trailer game now.

By the way, are you phasing between two timelines? Why? This is season 12. Oh, no, but season two of the VHS trailer. I got season 12. of the, yeah, all right. Yeah. Season 12 is the season of legends.

There we go. Legends. And I think I'm going to be saying, damn. No, but not yet because Eric Siska's currently in the lead. I don't have the points in front of me. But I do know last month Eric cleaned up because one of the movies was built in his house. That's actually true. I didn't want to tell too much.

But actually, the car I learned to drive on, we sold it to an actor's father. Anyway. Really? Wow. I was like embedded with the adventures as a passion call. I think if I'm recalling the points correctly because I was just editing the varsity blues episode before you guys came over. I want to say it's 1510 in Eric's favor. And you're not on the board yet.

I ate shit. I ate fucking shit that first round. Well, good news. There's four rounds this time. They're all actually there's like two. You're going to have fun this month. I'll just say that. Can I just say something else really quickly?

Anyway, I just want to say congratulations, man, on winning the movie trivia game on your podcast. It's pretty extraordinary. That's all. Thank you so much. I love it. I love what Ernie Hudson drops by to congratulate Chris again on winning the trivia game on his podcast.

Thank you, Ernie. I heard it's very extraordinary. I love the man so much. The word extraordinary isn't ruined for me, but I'll never not think about Erdney Hudson without any of it. I mean, also the word podcast. It's your podcast. He's had to have listened to a podcast.

Not this show. He's had to have listened to a podcast. Oh, sure. Listen, open invitation to Ernie Hudson. Come on a movie. Definitely. If you run into him at a store, let him know it. Don't bother Ernie Hudson.

Bother him just a little bit. Depending on that picture at the gym. That dude's lifting. Jacktown. He's got probably a home gym from all that cameo money. That's a good point. I will say. about a Pelotam.

Well, if you run into Ernie Hanson in his house, please let him know he's welcome here. Congrats on your Pelotan. The VHS trailer game, as we all know, is a buzz in game wherein I will read out a series of clues going from 5, 4, 3,21, in point order. The first one to buzz in, and guesses correctly, gets that point.

If you buzz in incorrectly within that round, you are out for the round. Not much else to say here, folks. the winner will get another another shot at the WHM slush fund and if Chris Cabin wins which he will

if he goes back to back nothing but trouble is going to be done on the show which is totally in the absolutely never category so we'll see and here's the thing like a little like WHM behind the scenes for you listeners out there the what I guess

fans have dubbed the Hobbit vomit sound that's I do that but I feel like we should record Steve while he's watching it because he will be making the Hobbit That movie is disgusting And if I win Zepruder film episode

Oh, I love it. Oh, that would be fucking awesome. Right? Dude, a little Patreon bonus for the top tiers. W.HMinnies. Dude, the umbrella man, what did we know and when did we know it? How did they do three and a half hours

on the Zepruder film? Well, when you get Don DeLillo in studio, he's going to have a lot of thoughts about it. What did he do related to the Kennedy Association? Oh, she was a second gunman. Oh, he writes a lot about it. What was that called? Libra.

Yes. Libra. Oh, I didn't read that one. It's a, it's a praising tome of Lee Harvey Oswald. The genius that was cut down too soon. All right. So VHS trailer game, Lee Harvey Oswald is not playing, but Eric is playing for his team. That's right.

Round one. Nice. Why not? Oh, are these all were were were a werewolf movies? No, this is just, this is just a 1997-ish movies. Got it. Game Master's clue. An 80s hard body

doze it up in this New Jersey set, star-studded crime drama. Andrew Ruppin. Copland. It is Copeland for five big points. There we go. Now I'm on the board. See, take that Gordon Ramsey, you fuck. I always remember Ray Leota when he was promoting Copeland.

Must have had a shitty time with Sylvester Stallone on Conan. Called him out. He's like, yeah, Stallone was just going around telling everybody was for a movie. I was like, dude, you're really insecure about your body. And I'm like, wow, dude, you're fucking burning him up. Yeah, dude. I mean, this guy's taking out turkeys left and right.

Sylvester Stallone, the chantix turkey. Game Master's Clue. A monotone TV star tries to graduate to film lead as a morally conflicted doctor in this quote-unquote, smart and sexy thriller. That's from the trailer. Monotone. A monotone TV. TV star. So a TV star that's just like, it's like Stephen Wright or something?

I won't say more, but you might be close. It's not Stephen Wright. A monotone TV star tries to graduate to film lead as a morally conflicted doctor in this quote unquote, smart and sexy action thriller. That's from the trailer. They say it's smart. So quote unquote means it's wrong. Smart and sexy action thriller. This one's probably the most obscure of the bunch, I will say. Monotone TV star, okay, yeah. Tribune trivia. According to the Don Simpson autobiography high concept, the concept of this film was stolen from a doctor

who died at Simpson's house before he could finish the character. I mean, the circumstances of which I'd love to know, but I have a good idea that involved his nose. According to the Domson, Don Simpson, I like how this is supposed to help. It was too good to pass up. It's pretty funny. This dude OD dead at his house.

A monotone TV star tries to graduate to film lead as a morally conflicted doctor in this quote-unquote smart and sexy action thriller. According to Dom Simpson, it's autobiography, high concept. The concept of the film was stolen from a doctor who died at Simpson's house before he could finish. So he stole.

Oh, Chris Cabin. Playing God. It is playing God for four points to Chris Cabot. is that? Who's the monotone guy? David Dukovny. David Dukovny. I was thinking Swimmer in my head. I was thinking Swimmer but it's on an action thriller that Schwimmer was in that

Breastman movie. Oh God. It's him and Adaptation. Nazi father from American Beauty. Chris Cooper. I'd like to get my hands on that. But yes, four big points of Chris Cabin. Two more rounds to go here. All right.

Game Master's Clue This multiple Academy Award-winning film Was a breakthrough for a couple of young hunks That are re-teaming in a high-profile film this year Interjupin Goodwill Hunting It is Goodwill Hunting Big one, yeah, the hunks are back in town, man

With the last duel With Eve Eve? Or no, Jody Comer's I don't think she's... Of killing Eve. I saw, it was kind of funny I saw like a TV ad for that movie the other day and it was on mute and Matt Damon was just like beating somebody up and I was kind of laughing. Well, I want to say they're keeping Affleck out of those trailers that I'm

kind of curious why. I think it's those, doesn't he have like fucked up contacts in that baby? They all look stupid as hell. They do. Because the first trailer definitely had Damon in it. Yeah. Adam Driver just looks like Adam Driver. Yeah. Damon's got like a fucking wrestling mullet in that movie. He definitely does, which is part of the reason I was laughing at him beating that guy up. Looks like Hacksaw Jim Duggan. He does. All right. Last round, folks. game master's clue a previous episode the trailer for this mega hit has two characters running through potential suspects hint this movie shares something in common with the movie we're reviewing today so it's a werewolf movie it's something in common i don't know a previous episode the trailer for this mega hit has two characters running through potential suspects hint this This movie shares something in common with the movie we're reviewing today. Dead Man on Campus?

It is not. We didn't do that. What? We didn't do that movie. Oh, it's a previous episode and it has something. Yeah, that's it. That's it. He's out.

Looks like it's suicide again for me. Previous episode, the trailer for this mega hit has two characters running through potential suspects. I'll say in a diner. I don't know if that helps. hint, this movie shares something in common with the movie we're reviewing today.

And now, incorrect trivia. IMDB has its trivia. Something about this trivia is incorrect, but it is also a clue in and of itself. And it's going to make Andrew Jupin scream. Lori Metcalf and Jerry O'Connell play mother. Mother fucking. Lori Metcalf and Jerry O'Connell also play mother and son.

Oh, I, oh shit. Yeah. I think what I'd do cornflip? Did you see Andrew? It was exactly at the same time. All right. We've never, we ever had this before. Double buzz, folks. And I know who, I know that you guys are going to get it.

Anyone got a coin? I don't have change around here. Can we break off a piece of wood to flip or something? All right. I'm thinking of a number. Ooh, I like this. There we go. All right.

I'm thinking of a number between one and 50. Five. Chris Cabin. 22. Chris Cabin wins. There you go. 47. Scream two.

It is scream two. That's what I was going to say. Yeah. but the incorrect trivia was that Lori McHaff and Jerry Connell also play Mother and Son in the Big Bang Theory season 11 they don't play Mother and Son in Scream 2 Lori McHaf is Billy Loomis' mother.

That's correct. So what's the connection with this movie again? It's a horror sequel, my friend. Oh, wow. Jesus. What? It's a fucking horror sequel. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah, I guess, Steve. That's a VHS trailer game.

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-de-de-de. Keep going, Steve. We should get a little, like, game show tune made up. Yeah, if somebody wants to send me an outro over to the VHS trailer game, we all hate movies at gmail.com, you might be on this show for no money at all. The only winning move is not to play the game.

Man, I got taken to the woodshed. You did. But it's a long season, my friend. Oh, yeah. We're in fucking October, man. We got all the way to August. But now I got the stench of failure on me. That's hard to shake.

Oh, terrible. You're in second place. No, this guy's got to use me by now. He probably did, right? Didn't you have 15? Yeah, yeah. Andrew came out of nowhere.

That's, yeah, you're probably tied with, yeah. Okay. I don't have the numbers of it from. Anywho. This is a movie that should have never been made. Speaking of shit that never should have been made. What were they thinking? 16 years, ladies and gentlemen.

Yeah, you know, this movie reminds me a lot of scream, dude. You know what, dude? Right into the bail bag with your. complain. I will. I think we're all in agreement here that that was a bit of a flub. I was thinking Paris.

I was thinking, anyway. Apparently I was thinking Tom Everett Scott. Fucking idiot move there. I'm going to get yelled at, but I'm with you, Steve. Thank you. Here's a good place to start. This movie is a great example. And I mean, there's other examples, but this is a great example of how

fantastic of a director Tom Hanks is. Because Tom Everett Scott is great in that thing you do. Tom Everett Scott not so great in this movie. And this movie came out after that thing you do. This character they have him playing, though. I mean, the script

I can't really blame him. I can't really blame him. But just like this performance that is made with help of this director and this screenplay, it's fucking terrible. I call that movie that thing I don't remember. Really? I saw once. I couldn't tell you. I couldn't tell you like, We'll lick about it. TBS, T&T all the time.

It's probably on right now. I doubt it. I've seen that movie like 20 times. Yeah, I definitely wore out of VHS tape of that at least once. I think it's a legitimately great movie. You guys love this thing. I do. I'm not American Werewolf in Paris.

It's about like a little pop group doing their little songs. Yeah. It's a one hit wonder. The Oneaters. Yes. Pardon me? They call themselves the wonders, but the way they spell it is

O-N-E-D-R-S, and everybody keeps saying, oh, needers. Oh, that's why they didn't take off. Yeah. Well, Tom Hanks' character in the film is like, don't be stupid, change that. What's kind of weird about that movie is at least it feels a little bit like Tom Hanks is like, hey, you know, it's going to be the next Tom Hanks, this Tom Everett's got.

You, Hollywood, beyond notice. Yep. Here comes the new, because similar energy, big curly hair kind of a thing. I think if they were farther, part in age so if like if Tom Everett Scott was like in his 20s now yeah he's like

51 I think but like if he was in his 20s now he could play Tom Hanks in like a Tom Hanks biopin yes exactly or maybe like we wait if he was if he was in his 20s like 20 years from now we do a Tom Hanks biopic Tom Everett Scott could have played you're totally right

isn't he humongous? Yeah he's like six something he's super tall really wow so they could like digitally shrank him or something. Deidify him. A Tom Hanks movie would just be like, and then I was successful again. And then I was successful again. And then I had that one son who was a little fishy

about vaccine information. Oh, right. Colin. Chet. Chet is the bad one. The bad one. The evil one. I think he's just the embarrassment. Well, that would mean that Colin was locked up in the cellar eating fish.

Oh, no. It feels like the note, just to get back to America, World War Wolf, like, sure. The note that I felt in every scene was the director just saying, hurry up. Hurry up. Like, everything feels like it's in fast forward mode in this movie. Why bother making it a sequel to a class? I actually don't even think actually making a sequel to American Whirlp in London 15, 16 years later in the 90s is the worst idea in the universe. No.

But you just have to care about it. You have to care that it's actually a sequel to a movie and not, like, filled with references or anything like that, but like make it thematically, make the work... And also, like, the coolest thing about American World of London or one of the cooler things about it is the mythology is really cool, like, how it works. And they actually change that drastically in this movie,

so it's like, who gives a shit? Yeah, that mythology change is really stupid. And also, like, I don't need all these friends. No. Like, it worked so much better as the back and forth between two people. That's what's fucking hilarious. I think I said it in the text read last night. It just goes to show you,

how nothing these characters are because I think I say it at the end of the single white female episode like I thought that this movie was Tom Everett Scott, Julie Delpy and one other guy and I was blown away that there's two guys.

It's well the two, well, it would be nice if one of these guys was somebody. That would be, I mean, look, the one guy looks great with a shirt off and to do some parkour shit. That's all good and well. But like I need some other like anchoring

presence. Even the villain guy is a fucking nobody. He's a nothing. He looks like Andre Agassi to the point where I'm like, was Andre Agassi in this movie? Oh my God, he totally does. Andre Agassi who was fighting a wicked scag habit. I mean, this guy is not looking good. No.

Oh, man. Yeah, the villain clawed. Oh, great. God. Damn it. And like it starts with this really pompous score to like the fucking pop music baby. Like when this movie, there's one music drop of this movie and I'm like, oh, fucking, yeah.

Mouth. Bush's mouth when they're fucking on the grave. Oh, your mantle. Oh, ma. Yeah. Oh, my. You're my mouth.

It's so good. But in the original film, you had like 50s music and shit, right? So then now we have music of the era. And like, I guess like, you know, in London, it's all like songs with moon and the title. And I guess with mouth,

it's like wolf bites but like that's as far as you could argue it no you need you need to do you need to carry that over I think also what are we doing here just fucking recycle some songs no one's gonna complain about some CCR

but I do understand that because that was the attitude of the time is have a big soundtrack yeah have a Romeo plus Juliet soundtrack music inspired by it featured in the major motion picture American werewolf in Paris but we're literally talking about one song there was others there's the other

stuff, but it was shit. No, that's, that's what I'm saying, though. I do remember it was a thing where I think it was when this movie actually maybe came out on VHS, when it was like, be sure to pick up the soundtrack on whatever the fuck records, right? Ask your mom to take you to coconuts. Yeah, totally. Some like stabbing westward

kind of garbage is what you're getting. It's all awful. Yeah. It's every other fucking song in this movie is terrible. It's, yeah, we've got mouth by bush. The refreshments are on here, better than Ezra was here somewhere. I miss that tune. There's a normal town. There's a cover of cake of never going to give you up by cake, but that's in the credits, which kind of sucks shit.

It doesn't count and it's a fucking great cover, but it does not count. It's the ass end of the credits. There's fastball skinny puppy. Skinny puppy, what's long? Skinny puppy is a heart set head. Huh. You got me. Or it might be a, yeah. I like skinny puppy.

What are we doing with a fastball the way? No, it's another fastball song. That's all you need to know. Human touch. you got the touch oh they should have just put that song on here and I mean like

again I don't want you to recycle like two guys or walk into the wrong bar but I mean like the beginning of that movie the first 25 minutes is untouchable it's like

un fucking touchable and this movie it's just like I'm on Sacra Blue I'm running away from a werewolf who is going to get me who knows who I am

you probably won't even know at the end of the movie also you open the first one with these bucolic shots of the fucking, like, hillside. This movie looks like shit. Well, that's a good point. Like, why are we immediately Paris?

Like, why don't we fucking go somewhere and then go to Paris? Yes. I mean, yeah, if you're keeping true to the format of the first film, that's exactly right. And why do all the camera movements have to be like mouse trap fucking,

like swirl down here and down to a rainy fucking gutter? Because bad directors think that shit looks cool. And, you know, they think it looks cool. werewolf cam. Look out, folks. Werewolf cam, you can fucking suck it with your doom P-O-V shit. Don't you love burnt yellows? Suck it with P-O-V? Was this my search history?

Anyway. Don't you want to see film that looks like it's been pissed on and then soaking in pissed for many days? What is this my search history? The werewolf cam really does bother. It just looks so fucking bad. Because that's all this movie has, though. That's like this movie's movie's move is like, well, the werewolves look like shit. Our leads don't like each other. What are we cut to werewolf cam, folks. Holy moly, man.

You know, I'd rather the werewolf cam than see these fucking things, these cartoon characters that are birthed later than film. And like, they all look like, this is a weird reference for me to make, but because of like, there's scrawniness and like the hair is very thin. Yeah. growing up I had a hamster that lived longer than any hamster ever deserved to live where hamster he could have been dude and by the time fuzz bucket checked out that was his name

I'll be taking that miss master jubin it's me the hamster man come to get your hamster looks like your hamster's been left out in the sun too long like it he was just like emaciated his hair was very thin he was an old ass hamster yeah hamster chemo or no this was the hamster that died and then my parents told me that my dad buried it in the woods but in reality he threw it over the wall that divided our backyard from

the highway we lived behind I'm Mr. Juppet here's my son Bertram I've been teaching him such as a baby to eat dead hamsters open up but just they look like disgusting dying creatures whereas the fucking werewolves

in London are very full, monstrous-looking beasts, very hairy, big wolf maids. They have fur. I guess what this movie was trying to do was like, oh, you know, the cool part is when, in the, not the old thing, but when in the transformation scene, the iconic transformation scene, when it's like that, like, sort of half transformation, it looks closer to that, that it does the final. Yeah, they're not all the way there. Maybe it's because we started trimming pubes in the mid to late 90s. Yeah, so now werewolves trim and trim their hair. Or there, werewolf, tidy up that bush.

Looking for cropped werewolves. We don't want any long hairers. We don't have it in the budget to make werewolf merkins, all right? So you werewolves better have full bush. Oh, you, Jimmy Page, you need all that hair. Hot, shiny, werewolves. Oh, just slick, hairless, wearwolves. What is this my search history?

God, it's the worst joke ever, but I'm gonna get doing it. Go for it, man. I, so yeah, this random dude just gets murdered, like, and it's like a thing where, like, we're, like, we're hiding it from the audience what's happening, and it's like, which is a mistake, because I, you know,

I was watching this movie earlier today. I didn't remember it even though I watched it during lockdown, which was not that long ago. But, yeah, I mean, but that's a testament to this movie. Yeah. Of course you didn't remember it. Yeah, so I was just like, wait, He had like a lab code.

I was like, okay, so the werewolf experiments are getting out. We'll check in with him later. And then I totally didn't remember. I totally forgot about the scene completely. And I was like, oh, shit, that's supposed to be like the stepdad that's tied up in the basement. Yeah, which is like whatever, man. Listen, I'll say it right now, double amputee werewolf only cool part of this movie. Yeah.

That's it. I want his story. It's an actual suit, though. It's not CGI. That's the whole thing. Yep. Just do that. Yep. I also like this cab driver who's like thinking about helping this guy with the sewer eats him. He's like, yeah, I'm good.

Yeah, no, oh, man, I love seeing this dude turntail. It's like, oh, I'll help my fellow man. Maybe not. I don't want to be eaten by a grate. But then it's like, as soon as this dude gets pulled under this sewer grate, cue the fucking fart rock and here we go, three American douchebags in Paris. They're on, they're taking a rail to Paris. they're working their way

I mean like they're working their way through Europe and they're doing the Daredevil tour and they've got t-shirts made up guys this is pathetic I'm not a fan of let's make the custom t-shirt for the thing we're doing

right now no so that includes Bachelor and bachelor and bachelorette parties with the custom t-shirts a fucking family vacations where you got 17 white people all wearing the same t-shirt?

What does that say? What does that t-shirts? You know, like, stop the steal? Well, yeah. Because oftentimes, you know what is? A lot of the time, it's like, if a big family crew goes to like a place like Disney World or something, you all

wear the matching t-shirt, it's usually like a loud garish fucking neon. Yeah, exactly. And it's always got some cutesy fucking message on it. It's usually like a portmanteau made up of like the family last name or whatever. I just want to fucking throw up when I see that. Couldn't be me, dude. Yeah, no thanks.

That's right, dudes. We're doing the daredevil tour. We're going to blind ourselves and then try to find our senses again and become superheroes. That's what we're going to do, folks. We're good. Oh, dude, we're going to fuck Michael Clark dunking out, brother. But first you've got to pass the bar exam, man. All right, man. Whoever can freak Julio on that murder rep first drinks free all night.

Wait, which conscious bulls are supposed to be from? We're going to go there next. All right, dudes, I canceled the hotel reservations. We're all sleeping in concrete sensory deprivation pools. Let's do it. All right, folks. Let's find an old man named Stick. Totally sucked when we did the actual Daredevil tour in Hell's Kitchen.

It's like three blocks. And it smells kind of weird. And there's like two bars. That's it. I love how I was thinking about this the other day for some reason. in the Sony and the PlayStation like the newer Spider-Man game they consider like

the entire top part of Manhattan to just be Harlem if they ever made a Daredevil game the way that the Netflix show treats it every fucking square inch of Manhattan would be hell's kitchen it's so they act like it's the biggest fucking neighborhood

I love it I love it but yeah they're just It's these three dudes. I think it's Chris, who's the hunk. Brad, who's like just, I guess he's supposed to be the closest to the Griffin done kind of wacky character. The thing he's got, he doesn't have the looks. He doesn't have the fucking talon.

He doesn't have the fucking lines. Once he comes back as a ghost, I'm like, him? And then there's Andy, played by Tom Everett Scott, who is your, who just, I don't know, he's like cribbing from Ethan Embry's fucking shit. Like this tall, awkward, nice. guy horses shit. The funny thing is the reason why Ethan Embry was able to excel in all, and I think Ethan Embry's a

great guy. Sure. He's actually a pretty decent Twitter follow. Oh, really? You know, just, I've always liked stuff that he's into, but like... Stop the Steeler. Yeah, it's a good politics or what? Very, very political, but, you know. Ethan Embry, in January 6th.

I kid. I think part of it, the appeal, was his stature. Sure. But you've got this big Frankenstein motherfucker and Tom Everett Scott. It doesn't work the same way. And I didn't realize. Oh, that's interesting. Both of them in...

That thing you do. It doesn't matter. Anyway, I didn't realize how tall he was, though, until this movie, because they're doing... I think I was making fun of this. It might not be out yet. I was having a good time with the tall actress on the upcoming once-on-lifetime episode. A Devil's Diary. They're doing a lot of the same shit where Tom Everett Scott

has to be either walking a few paces ahead or a few paces behind. of the other guys to make the height balance. That and Julie Delpy isn't exactly Hakeem Olajuwon either. Like she's not that tall. No, definitely not. Well, that's actually what I didn't think of his height at all, except for I saw La La Land and he's

at the end. And like Emma Stone looks like she's standing in his palm. Which is also weird because he's also like 30 years old. She's going out with her dad. That's very weird. But yeah, so Andy is behind in all the Daredevil points and it has yet to be on the board with the sex points.

Sex points. And there's the argument the argument over like whether or not the sex points and the daredevil points were being tallied. Is this where you got the idea for the VHS trailer? Yes, exactly, man. So sitting around watching my favorite horror sequel.

It's a fucking horror sequel. I'm sorry. It is, but it doesn't seem like it's not a fat too. It's hard to pick up. But I do think, I mean like, so my question is how do the sex points work? How do you verify? I mean, like, you

to talk about some, you know, some collusion, Eric. That's, oh, man, me and that, me and that you totally looked up. But I mean, like, is it just sex? Are we doing hand stuff? I feel that's if they, if they had the breakdown of what was going on. It's like, oh, you know, four points for a hey, Jay. Yeah, gotcha. You know, 10 for a beach. 50 if you have intercourse. 100 if it's only 10 for a beach. It seems like it should be a little higher. Brad's really pushing for like a single point for every country you jerk off. Someone is orgasming and that person is me and I should get a point

for that. I just want to be on the board, buddy. I laid my seat all across Europe. Also, when you're talking about shit like this, I need some kind of like catch up of all the dare devil. Sure, that'd be fun. What are we doing? What does that even mean? It cannot

be as intense as what the fuck. There's just no fucking way. Unless they were literally surfing a tsunami. but what is this this this whole daredevil shit it's like the x games and skateboarding just got invented and everyone was so excited dan cortez was america's sweetheart this chris it's crazy this chris kid gives me dan cortez vibes he definitely does actually that's a good call but like i need yeah i need some line about like and and here's the thing that you could fucking do where it's like oh well remember when we were in london like just just say say the name london just fucking, fucking sire.

Remember, man, we blew up Big Ben. Or, and I mean, look, I also need to know what the prize is. Is it $100? Is it $1,000? Is it, I don't know. Also, what is... Some Chevy Corvette or something? What is the... Oh, I had another question about all this fucking dumb shit. Oh, what is the whole deal?

Like, is it tough to travel around with that much bungee cord on your person? I guess. I mean, well, that plus the clamps and the, what do you? call it they're the the carabiners all that heavy duty duty carabiners yeah it looks like he ousted all of his fucking like boxers and shirts for this bungee cord yeah brought no change of undies man but I got

fucking 100 feet of bungee that's a great question was he carrying that around all like this one like either the middle end or like the last legs of this tour so is he just like everyone like yo man can I bet some dude nope get bungee cords in there man I've been smelling like shit this entire

vacation and I will tell you why when we get to Paris. I'll tell you who Bastank, my Bustank. And it's really just a criminal thing, right? Like, we're going to all these countries breaking into monuments. I guess so. Jumping off of them, I guess. Yeah, you're right, though. I would love to know

what else they did. Did they like bungee from, are they bungee and everyone? Are they bungeeed off the linen tower of Pisa? Yeah. I don't think you can do that. Do you pull it right down. Or maybe you bungee off the other side of it, you straighten it back up. Show them. Going off a bridge somewhere. Honestly, I think

someone should have been bitten on one of these things. That isn't a romantic. Like this is like we meet the girl and this sort of sets it off. But having her being aware, well, I don't know. Yeah, because he just Tom of Ritz got's

way behind. He's like, don't worry, guys. When we get to Paris, you're going to be eating your own shorts. Hi guys. I am very regular and I'm acting in a movie. Oh yeah. Yep. I love playing a jazz drummer who makes it big on the rock scene. And now I'm going to play a guy who turns into a werewolf. Could I get one hamburger sandwich, please?

Yeah. Just that. Fucking Wonderbread, no cheese. Also, why not have a fucking werewolf scene with one of these extreme sports things put together? Yes. Yep. What about a werewolf bungee jump? Thank you. Exactly. Weirwolf bungee jump. Teen wolf three. So he's going. they get to Paris. We're radiantly, we sneak into the Eiffel Tower. It's very much the opening to Superman 2 when Lois Lane gets stuck in the Eiffel Tower. Everybody knows it. Absolutely.

Everybody's 40 years old, right? But she, they go up and they're like, they think he's not going to do it. They're like, yo, dude. Because I would be like, yo, dude, are you trying to kill yourself right now? Like literally trying to get...

I don't want to be in a murder beef. I don't want to be fucking answering to the Paris police why my friend is dead. and hanging from a bungee court. Yeah, sure. Also, you have to stop pretending that it's this easy

to just break into the Eiffel Tower once it's closed. Like, what the fuck are you talking about? That's why the bridge thing makes so much more sense. You'll see those people climb in the Brooklyn Bridge and shit sometimes. Yep, absolutely.

And you shouldn't bungee jump off someone's husband because, as we know, a woman is married to the Eiffel Tower. That's true. That's unfair. So that's like a threesome, unconsensual. Absolutely. She would have a lot to.

say about it? They're still wed to this day, Ethan? I hope so. Do you think the Eiffel Tower had to sign a pre-known? Did the French courts recognize this? I don't think so. So this was a dot folks at home. This is documentary. Yes, on, it's on sex freaks. It's on YouTube. I'm married to the Eiffel Tower. It's 25 to 30 minutes. You'll have a great time. I just think they should have interviewed the Eiffel Tower for it. He wasn't man enough. He couldn't pleasure a lady of my stature. Hey man, go on Stop, stop tired

My wife isn't here Come on, come on My wife isn't here Oh, that's right, yeah It's just, yeah, I don't know It would make way more fucking sense If it's a bridge And you know what they have in Paris?

Bridges. And like I get it, it's a movie You want to, you know, use a fucking monument. Yes, there's also like even in London They begin in a place where there might be woods. Yes.

what woods the fuck is in Paris what the fuck like you can't hide in it like to me werewolves are just that's part of the mythos is that you are in near the woods not really a metropolitan monster no not really where is he hiding well and that's the dumb thing of this movie is the way they're making it

like sequelified and cool for the 90s is like it's a hip fucking underground enclave of werewolves that all love fucking techno music and also werewolf scag as we'll get too. Oh my God, dude. But also, they're making it kind of a sequel, right?

Because she's supposed to be descended from the original past. Let's talk about it. Let's just get it out of the way because I don't believe this. It's not in the movie. It's written in the Wikipedia plot description. Apparently it's on the trivia. Yeah. That she's supposed to be the daughter of David from the first movie and the nurse lady.

Yes. That's what people are telling me. And maybe that wasn't one of the many drafts. It's not in this movie. Like when we see her ghost mother for four seconds, which makes zero sense. Yeah. Yep.

And that everyone could see her. The, what do you call there? She has a British accent. So I guess that's it. Yeah. But you know what? Just do flashbacks.

Cut up that first movie. I know it looks stupid and shitty. But if you really want that to be there, you have to really spell it out for me. But it had to be like this per, whoever wrote that like was at some fucking screening with John Landis. And it was like, Mr.

Landis. Is it all possible that David and the nurse had a daughter and she was now a new werewolf? And he said, yeah, whatever, you fucking kid. I have to go murder somebody else. I think they reached that conclusion only because in the scene where the mother appears. And by the way, I think it does track to the logic of these movies

because Julie Delpy and Tom Everett Scott are who see the ghost of the mother. And at that point, they are both werewolves. And she has just been recently murdered. but also she's clearly English like she's speaking English with an English accent

and she's dressed in a nurse's outfit and that's all they're doing I bet you the first draft had a lot more of it and that's why the original alternate which is now an alternate ending of where they actually have a baby together

and it has werewolf fies yes that makes that that makes that would make sense I guess that would make sense yeah I don't know but all it is is you're looking at this zombie with like a nurse's cap on and she has a British accent and that's it

and that scene is so brief he jumps out the fucking window dude hilarious and somehow it doesn't get a scratch but you don't dwell on it at all the comedy is so aggressive in this movie like they just push it really hard

where the first one they're like here's a couple jokes here's like an interesting delivery or something yes like this needs to have some kind like you know what it should be like Julie Delpy's here before moonrise

just like a little quiet like some pacing for crying out that's the weirdest part is she was in all those other werewolf movies and I don't know why

she's in all these she's in four French werewolf movies before sunrise before moons yeah this is part of them yeah they're all they're all

it's in the and the last one a werewolf in Greece can you imagine it's just two werewolves like middle of the night just walking and talking

like on the the bank of the sin just having like philosophical conversations. Yeah. Talking about like what, you know, now that we're werewolves, where does our soul really go when we die? That's right. And you know what? Way better movie than this. Or are we like in Satan's service? Did I lose my soul?

Like what's going to happen in me? Oh, oh, you're doing the I thought you meant like as podcast. In general, yes. We're definitely in Satan's service. Yeah, definitely. Have you read any D.H. Lawrence? He talks about the eroticism of the body. and I think that could be with werewolves as well.

You know, I'm pretty certain by having these two kids we ruined our lives. Let's talk about that for another argument. But first, let's get some bright, garish t-shirts for this vacation.

I want to fuck other werewolves, okay? Or you can go full in glatter and you do a werewolf movie and it's every, you should film it every year for the summer? Absolutely. Where boyhood, possibly.

Wolfhood. Wolfhood is the way. That's the number. The bad news, wolves. Tomavitt Scott is about to bungee jump, but then Julie Delpy shows up and is about to kill herself jumping off the Eiffel Tower. And again, another person who is just like hidden out somewhere, I guess, in the Eiffel Tower. What is the fucking security guard situation at this place?

I guess they don't have them. It's fucking crazy. And by the way, you see. someone killing them. Let them fucking do it. I know. I know that sounds bad, but there's a perfect stranger. He doesn't know this woman. Also, if he let her jump, you're not turning into a world now. By the logic of the first movie, she should jump. Zottelah, Henry, the security techard is having an affair again. And that's another thing that drives me up the wall about this movie is the first movie had that cool cynicism to it where this is like, well, actually, you can cure it and live

forever and be happy. Yep. Fuck that. You can't be happy anymore after you got bit by a weird. That's the point of a werewolf movie. It's about an irreparable change to your body that will that you have to live with forever.

Either you figure out a way to lock yourself up or you're dead. It's a curse. Yeah. They just said like, let's just do it vampires. So you have to kill the head vampire, which is the head werewolf. And now you're free. Okay. That's bullshit.

It's bullshit. But there's also just the shit on top of that shit though, where, like, Julie Delpy is a doctor who has been trying to engineer a cure for lichenthropy, but it blew up in her face and it becomes, like, a serum that makes you change. I had the cure

for werewolfism, and I lost it. I did the fucking reverse. Now we're turning into werewolves. It had something to do with ants. I don't really remember. Then Lorraine Brocko's just yelling at her. Dude, Sean Conner

in a werewolf movie, an American and werewolf in Scotland. You'd save a lot of money on your special effects. I was hairy as fuck. Oh, I took my shirt off and now I'm a werewolf. He would have to be like the king of the werewolf. Get him in like the first scenes in the rock like look with the long hair at the end of a table. Everyone's calling him Silver Wolf.

Yeah. Lord. Lord Silver Wolf. Oh, man. Who's on the werewolf side in them there? Underworld movies. Scott Stap. Scott Speed movie. And

Michael Sheen is the big Sheen's a werewolf. So Bill Nigh, he's a vampire in that movie. I believe so. Got it. Big mistake should have flipped that chin. Scott Stap, man, you wish. I mean, he looks like Scott Stap in that movie because he's got the similar haircut. Anyway, she's about to jump off and he's like, oh no, wait.

And he Oh, no, don't do it. I want to die. He jumps off because he's got the bungee cord, but he forgot to secure it. you're just committing suicide now, too. For a blonde lady you never met, I'd be like, that's a shame. Well, this could be part of my sex points.

Because he's such a nice guy. And when we jumped off the Eiffel Tower together and I saved her, she accidentally touched my dick, 206 points. All right, we have the masturbation rules all done with. How about killing yourself for a piece of ass? How many, is that thousand? Yeah. Oh, fuck.

Oh, damn it, nothing. I'm going to throw this out here right now because I want to get it out of the way because it actively makes this scene somehow even worse is when we find out that her father, her stepfather gave her a depressant

to try to repress the werewolfism. So her committing suicide is a byproduct of that depressive and not actually her thinking I'm a werewolf, let's end it. That's a good point. Or just thinking you want to end it all together.

the fact that she's taking these experimental drugs that are beckoning her to kill herself. So are you saying then that this movie's making a statement about the French pharmaceutical industry? Do not take Chan-Tex if you are a werewolf or thinking about becoming a werewolf. Hasn't she just tried a run-of-the-mill SSRI or what? Holy shit, I saw a fucking medical ad the other day

because that's, man, the Americans' decision to like make it legal to put medical commercials on television big mistake. I saw one the other day. It literally said that the biggest side effect was making your taint have lesions on it. What? Hold on. They didn't say that though. They gave it the, whatever the medical name for your taint is. Grundle. So your taint has lesions on it. What is this? My searchist? Quick question, actually, now they're doing the Daredevil tour. Was David Curitine on a daredevil tour himself. He got a thousand sex points.

Yep. Sadly, it was the last one you ever got. One jerk over the line. Sweet, sweet Mary. But he his friends hold on to the other end of the bungee cord and the reason you don't bungee jump off the Eiffel Tower is its fucking convex

shape because you're, that's not good for bungee jumping. No, it's definitely not you need fucking flat all the way down. This makes absolutely nose. He would die here. He hits his head. Decapitated. You're totally decapitated. He hits his head on this metal beam. I will say when like cartoons

become like accordions that's what would have happened to Tom Everett's got he would have done an accordion at least a few stars and birds yeah circling around his And also as we know from Amazing Spider-Man lore

When he grabbed Julie Delpy's leg He would have broke her neck Because of the fucking I mean that's what happens in Spider-Man with Gwen Stacy But I mean Oh right But I mean you'd break her leg at least

I mean my god Just falling at whatever A thousand miles a second I totally forgot amazing Spider-Man Andrew Garfield breaks Gwen Stacy's neck in that movie? She cracks her head at the bottom. Oh, okay. But no, in the comics, when Spider-Man, like, she's

falling, he puts the web on her and it grabs her like too harshly as she's falling and it breaks her neck and it's a tragic thing. That's hilarious. Which would happen here though or something like you grab somebody as they're falling you're going to break their leg. It's not like and now you're safe.

Like, that's not going to happen. He drops her perfectly down in the ground. Yes. And he keeps the shoe. You could have just dropped it right there. He's sniffing it all the way back up to the top. Absolutely. One big inhale. I've pulled a hat point.

Yeah, he gets hit by a beam. And again, yeah, he would be decapitated. Is this part of like, oh, we're making an American werewolf movie? We got to be in the hospital a bunch. Definitely. So here's a hospital scene. I think you're right. It is fucking hilarious that his face is all fucked up in bandage, though.

Don't worry. It's cured in 48 hours or whatever. This is so fucking dumb. And that's pre-wearwolf. If he was a werewolf, if he bit him and, like, he has Wolverine healing or whatever, like, I would be like, okay, so then he survived. No, I mean, this dude's in the hospital for, if he ever wakes up, which you wouldn't. Because they also don't, because they're totally unconcerned with, like, any kind of actual

werewolf lore or doing anything with that at all. Because that's the cool thing about the first movie is they're like, oh, you were in that coma for three weeks. and now it's werewolf time again. There's none of that. At least say, you know, between the time his fucking face is all bandaged up to when you're seeing him totally fine,

like, oh, it's because you've been also in a coma for such and such weeks. Oh, dude, your head fucking was inflated with so much trauma. You looked like fucking big face from Dick Tracy. Negative five sex points from looking like big face. Your skull was in 37 separate pieces, bro. totally oh man

you get up and they even say which is even I think it's fucking crooked it's crooked more crooked than the VHS trailer game they're like that's pretty crooked

by the way Steve has mentioned crooked and collusion I didn't say jack shit about that they're like oh man you totally that was a crazy stunt

but since we helped you up we get some of the points I'm like hey fuck you is a part of this whole trip because it's like if we did this at America we'd go in debt. I can get a boo-boo on my head and friends.

And get it repaired and go about my business. I think you're right. Dude, daredevil tour in socialized medicine countries, brother man. Yeah. Absolutely. I think you're totally on something there. It's like, oh, yeah. Last year, the seniors in the fran house,

they tried to do the daredevil tour in America. They went bankrupt. We're going to free jump off the tape modern, buddy. Let's go. he wakes him just has a bunch of bandages on his face and that's cute or something yeah and that by the way you know you know listeners in socialized medicine countries that are now being threatened to have that take away that this industry would cost you probably like 30 grand bare minimum easy yeah oh dude in the u.s oh yeah getting in a fucking ambulance

costs a grand dude yeah yeah at least at least a grand fun stuff um a thousand dollars to have some pervert give me a ride maybe six 50 if you live in the right now neighborhood. That's a good point. The other day I took an Uber. I was trying to get an Uber. Trying to get an ambulance. I was in Westchester trying to get an Uber. And then I usually try and get a cab if I can, but I couldn't see any. But then I saw Cab.

I was in West. I should grab the guy and he's like, oh, what are you doing out here? Oh, you know, I'm just trying to get, go to a family dinner. He's like, huh, you're trying to get one of those Uber. Like, yeah, you're going to get around out here. You never know what you're going to get with those guys. Wally says you're never going to get with those guys. Yeah. My man has a jar of Vaseline that he's putting all over his own neck.

And he's just like, you're never going to know what you're going to get with this guy. Lathering his neck with Vaseline. Is there like lesions on his neck? Is there something that he was trying to, he tried to hang himself the night before? I don't know. I have the dry neck. You know, it's just disgusting. And then he was just like, yeah, none of them speak English either Vaseline upon my own neck.

Do you mind if I jerk off in here? I got a, oh, I picked you up, I got 10, six points for you. Oh, hey, kid, I see a cop down the road. I need my hands on 10 and 2. You mind leaning forward and put some more Vaseline on my neck? And if he pulls us over, you were driving, all right? We'll swap spots real quick. Hey, kid, you got any breastwins or what?

This Vaseline jars for the neck. I eat out of the other one. But at least I'm speaking English. Oh, at least. I guess the very least. That's insane. You tip that guy or what? No.

I mean, I probably, I always tip everybody. See, no, now, you know, the United States is romanticized to the rest of the world. This is what it's really like. Expensive. You can't, you can't, you can't get hurt or you'll go in bankrupt. And then you have to deal with these fellows. A man with a lubed up neck. Yeah.

Do you think because, like, maybe he's constantly getting his head stuck and stuff? So he needs like a good slippery neck to get back out? That makes sense. he's trying to avoid the hangman's noose look I'm just addicted to portholes okay I've been trying it I'm a thick neck individual I keep looking in the girl's window

and then she puts the window down on my neck to trap me to call the police but now I can slip out I am a sucker for those little cardboard displays you will see at the boardwalk where it's a big musly guy and then like a sexy little babe in a bikini and you put your face through it

take a fun picture except for me I get way too into it and I stick my whole head through and it gets stuck. Yeah, it gets stuck and it's so embarrassing me and my family. Everyone sees the guy with the t-shirt that has all the family's got the same t-shirt now they're embarrassed.

I'm running around with the cardboard cut out. And the problem is when that happens, I get angry and I start punching people and that's where the lawsuits come in kids. But at least I'm punching people while speaking English. By the way, Vaseline neck.

Is that on your search history? Oh, yeah. What is this? My search history? No, I do that's a sick Bush song as well. Got Vaseline deck, better let the rest. Try to wet. Vaseline deck.

Right. I think I had a thought when I was growing up. I was like, glycerine, what the fuck is that? is that for jerking off what is that like what is it actually what is it glycerine's like a fuel that makes you blow up kind of stuff

yeah nitro glycerin head got stuck again glycerine so his buddies are like razor blade neck case okay and here comes a suitcase

oh yeah neck yeah yeah here comes I love that album by the way I was like to do it all day oh my god greedy fly folks at home if you want to see some Fincher knockoff. Look up that music video. Yeah. The

sick trailer line coming up here because he wants to, I got to meet that lady that I love so much. Like girl who jumps off the Eiffel Tower it clearly has issues bro. Oh yeah. Trailer line. Speaking of issues, one of those weirdos

saved her shoe. So, you know, glass houses and whatnot. Okay. You guys have had enough smells. Give me it back. I want to say. That's going in. Oh, dude. That's, there's, uh, I have 2,000 sex points and two million shoe points. How many points if I put my balls on the shoe? Oh, great. You guys had the shoe for too long. Now it just smells like Greg's dick. Man, and then the part where like,

he's like, oh, I got a finder. She might try it again. Yeah. And he has his friends go looking for the suicide note. Dude, if there was ever a fucking moment in most, picture history, it is putting a search montage for a suicide note to smash mouths walking on the sun.

You might as well be walking on the sun. Looking through trash to find a suicide note. This is totally trash. It ain't no joke. You try to kill yourself one time. You know what? Make a remake. remix you know you might as well walking on the moon

you might as well be picking through some trash you might as well be lubing up your neck I'm sorry I have to do this everything wet everything wet give me more

it's just fucking stupid and of course should I fly to Los Angeles find my Vaseline brother it's just so fucking stupid that they find the suicide but you know we get the fun in games they find grocery lists

some old lady tosses change at them very funny some old lady tosses change at them and then the two of them fight over the money they're just a couple of rascally dudes that's I mean that's the point of this montage if there is a point of this montage is to give them anything to do

and be rascally dudes it just like I you know would it be a better movie maybe not but like someone like Kevin Smith give me some dialogue here give me some fucking rat attack needs somebody fucking punch this up

dude definitely they're all cartoons yeah like and then when it gets more serious later and when you're trying to turn Tom Everett Scott into a romantic lead at some point in the middle it's just ridiculous like he gets so annoying

once he meets Julie he does he's just like I'm obsessed with her I have to have her I saw her I'm obsessed. I'm definitely normal. I'm a nice guy. Exactly.

It was pointed out that he's a fucking cycle earlier in the movie on that train when he says about the sex points. I know sex points are bad, too. I'm not saying those guys are good. But there's sex and love.

It's what it differentiates us from the animals. Yikes, dude. I love people. I don't sex people. I would never sex anyone. Well, because he's on this like bungee jumping

fuckcation with these. with these two fucking horn dog friends of his and he's like, oh, guys, there's something to be said for making love. Get the fuck out of here, please. And this is what drives me nuts. It's like in that first movie,

those guys are friends. Yes. He's not friends with these guys. I don't know what he's doing. What do he lose a bet? He has to be with these dudes. Yeah, he's just hanging out with these guys that don't like him and he doesn't like them.

Oh, hey, Zach, what's up? Oh, what? Oh, you're not, you're backing out of the daredevil trip. But I don't know those. guys. Those are your friends. I can't go backpacking through Europe with these two guys I don't even know. Uh-huh. Well, my name is on the t-shirt. My name's on the t-shirt. I have to go. Okay. All right. I'll go. My name's on the t-shirt. I mean, that's how we're going to, you know, how we're going to find each other when we're going around all those fantastic parks and shit. You know what?

It's fine. It's fine. That, you know what? That's cool. I'm still going to kill myself on the Eiffel Tower, though. Don't you try to talk me out of it. This is still happening. But whatever. They find the note. He runs up. running into her in the hospital anyway because she's stealing a heart. She's stealing a heart which means 100% that someone just died in that hospital. Yep, absolutely. Yep.

Totally. Someone like, and the family was already informed that there was a donor for the transplant so there's this like, oh yeah, moment of hope for this family and then it's like oh, I'm sorry, ma'am. A werewolf scientist stole your husband's new heart. Well, a heart thievery

is a big part of it. Like apparently her stepfather had been stealing hearts By the dozen to bring back to baby werewolf. I think what we're doing here is like, ooh, it's freaky Europe. You're going to go over there, man. You'll meet some sexy lady in a bar and then boom. Waking up in a bathtub without your kidney.

Yeah. You like the National Health Service so much. How about if they eat your heart? Yeah. So they wind up go to her house and this is when it gets stalky because they show up. I think he gives her the shoe. He's like, oh, thank you for the shoe. And he's like, well, I just want to make sure you're okay and you're not going to do

that again. And she's like, is none of your business. Please leave me alone. Not any of your concern. Thank you, American Pig. And then she closed the door and he's like, well, I got to keep he keeps knocking on the door. Can I take you at a lunch or what? Well, when she goes to close the door, when she does close it the

first time, he notices she's got blood on her hand. You're fucking business. It's her house. Oh yeah. She says she's like redecorating downstairs, painting. Yeah, right, right, right. But you know, another thing about this movie is, I don't know anything about him, even when the movie ends. I don't know anything about her.

Nothing. I don't understand why they like each other. They kind of don't. No, they don't. What is happening in this movie? Again, in London, they have great chemistry. Like, you know at least like what David's all about where he comes from, what part of the country, all that stuff. And they have, they have like consensual sex.

Which is cool. And in this movie, you get to see part of her werewolf titties as she trains. Oh, my God, that's funny. But that movie's got the heart of that relationship. Because I buy that relationship. You care about these people. I don't buy this at all. Of course.

Because also he's just like, and she's attracted to him in the first movie where she's like, oh, that man's quite attracted. I'm quite attracted to you as opposed to this fucking raving sex pest that keeps bothering this woman. Julie Delphi spends the first 45 minutes of movie screaming at him, go away. Exactly. In several different scenes for several different reasons. So he convinced her to go to lunch with him.

And then his friends, because he's never been on a date before. fucking six foot four Tom Everett Scott looking fuck dude. Can't get a girlfriend. They're like dude, wear my hat and my horrible jacket. Dude, they make him look like he is about to assassinate a president.

Yeah. Like they put him in this dumb dad hat. He's got these sunglasses on and like they're like giving him all these tips about like playing it cool and whatever. Like what are we doing? And we steal a bit from the cone heads ladies and gentlemen. We're fucking rip it off the cone heads because they put

a bunch of condoms in his pocket. Oh, wow. Yes. This is the quote-unquote funniest part of the movie, by the way. You got it. Dude, he humiliates himself on this date. He says it's gum, and that's just like they made, in America we make condoms look like gum.

It's fun. And then one of the right said Fred guys gets it in his soup and starts eating it. This dude with the skullet ponytail combination. Don't fuck with a muscle bound Frenchman like this, my friends. Absolutely not. Because she's like, I want you to do. Oh, she's like a. And again, she thought he was a nice guy

and now he has condoms. And she's like, why don't you blow a bubble with your your gum? And he's like, oh, at that point, just be like, yeah, I wouldn't put it in my mouth. I was like, yeah, it's fucking a bunch of condoms. Dude, you're just chew and lube.

And I would argue, now, it's not funny, but this is the funniest scene of the movie because you get to see the condom get blown out of his mouth. Yeah. You see the full like, you know, where the dick would go, the shlong, you know?

Yes, for sure. What is this is my search history? And it flies. off into some soup. Yeah, yeah. Google, where does the dick go? And it gets CGI when it flies around the rooms. Yeah. Yeah, because it does the like, it putters out right into this guy's soup. I also, there's a line here that's sort of like, as if you needed any more hints that he's a fucking

ugly American. Like, she goes, she goes, she pulls up on a bike or something and for the date and she's like, where do you want to go? And he goes, oh, I don't know, are like a cafe around here and she goes it's Paris in every fucking block yeah you'll have to take me for coffee because I am only 15 year old

because that's what the math I just did the math in the first movie she would be 15 81 to 96 yeah that's that's not gonna fly maybe it's a Friday the 13th timeline where then altered it in 2003 I think that's what you have to

Tom Everett Scott is just walking down the street, thank heavens for little girl. Dude, what's the sex points on on Roman Polanski? The guy who should have directed this movie. Yeah, I think you get disqualified from the game. And maybe get disqualified

from society. You'd hope so, but evidently not. But also in this scuffle, another thing that just knew werewolf lore, you're super strong all the time now. Yep. Okay. That's something like straight out of the Buffy TV show and I don't think they even did that. Also, lame as fuck, not funny, not entertaining, not cutesy, not amusing, not neat.

The two buddies like follow them into the cafe and are like hiding behind huge menus. Like it's a fucking loony tune. Because it's like, do we want to, they still want to be in the movie. Because they can't decide what the movie is supposed to be in this scene. Like it's totally just like all. I was half waiting for that like, I'm freaking you baby I was waiting for that song to drop halfway through this scene. There could be, there couldn't.

There's not, but they're like if it's just him going on dates with her and his buddies are like feeding him blind like Serenode de Bergerac type of shit. There could be an avenue for comedy there but just hiding behind menus isn't it? It's just hijinks. Obnoxious as fuck. When he's like getting prepped when they're like

putting the sunglasses on him and whatever, he says something. like oh well this is just our first date and it's like what are you talking about you don't live here how many dates do you think you can have how long are you intending to be in paris what the fuck is any of this we've got the marriage in two months that's plenty of time honey there's plenty of time where are they sleeping that's the Eiffel tower we have no idea what hostile they're at or whatever or do they have a huge hotel room because they're a bunch of rich boys we have no idea right secondarily um because we're way into this episode and we're way into this movie too it's an

American W-H-E-R-E in fucking Wolf in London in Paris because there's no fucking world for at least 40 minutes, you know what I mean? It's really bad. Because they wind up going back to her place and this guy is there, Andre Agassi on Skag, is Chris Cabin, to Chris Cabin's point, is like, oh, I love Americans. Come to my party. Julie will be there. She will.

No, Seraphene. Seraphine. Seraphine shall be there. She'll meet you there. And they give him a flyer and they wind up go to the. this werewolf club. Underground club because she is a 15. Nakatine.

Oh, no katin. The idea that, like, I mean, obviously I get it like you're trying to do the scuzzy pub from the first movie. We're going to update it to rave culture. Yeah. This has got to be sooner than this, folks. It's got to be sooner than this.

I mean, like, the first movie starts, they're in the town where the thing goes down. Yeah. You know? Three American shithead tourists show up and they run into a guy at the, at the coffee shop, he's like,

you guys want to know where to really get late tonight? Here, come to these club. Yep. And it's a fucking werewolf club. That takes you seven fucking minutes. It would be, and the werewolf club is disappointing. Yes.

And we're doing rave stuff. I could use some glow sticks. Seeing some people illuminated by glow sticks as they get ripped apart. Absolutely. And this is, this is, see, only like what, like a year later,

right? Blade is 98. 98, yeah. They do an underground, you know, fantastical monster rave thing so well. And also if I'm remembering like the timeline of Blade, that's fairly early on. Oh, no. We're talking like minutes. We start with somebody driving to that club. It's not even Blade.

Blade shows up at the club. You're following this one person who goes to the club and it winds up being a vampire club. It's like, I don't know, two and a half minutes stops. And you don't need to like work your way up to this. because the word werewolf is in the title that is where

we should have got the first scare this movie should have started like that like Blade and then have the father get eaten at that or whatever

but so it's Andy's like I wonder if Seraphine's gonna be here when's she gonna get over you're gonna get over and his buddies are like well we used to have

personalities but now we're just kind of like you're left and right arm oh cool it's almost as if we could combine into one person

and nobody would notice Well, okay, I guess I'll take my shirt off just to make things interesting. It's getting a little boring. You know how we were just giving you shit the entire time, not really your friends going off on our own thing? Now it's all about you for the rest of our lives. And by the way, like, remember in the first one,

like, the first wolf attack is like disorienting. It's scary. Yep. Yep. You see like it's physical. There's all this stuff. And this is just like, oh, bulgy neck. Yeah. Screamy. And this fucking like 2D leisure. Like,

The wolf face she does when she's like cracking her neck. Oh, yeah. And it looks like it honestly looks like those old, we always talk about them. The fucking old internet things, fuck. Oh, Jim Jabs. Oh, Jim Jabs. They look more like camels than they do werewolves, especially when they're mutating. When kind of, it reminds me.

Or they look like the horses in the boots red. Oh, sorry. They do. The horse mutants. They do. Yeah, they definitely do. When Tom Everett Scott is. is on the train in the climactic scene.

He looks like fucking station. I'm sorry. He looks, because he's standing, he looks like station. It's awful. It's absolutely terrible. And also, Chris,

you said bulgy neck earlier. I want to throw out another Vaseline reference. Vaseline that up. Neck. Mac, where are you? Also a movie that this, I think,

is borrowing from, too, the idea of like, you go into this club, you think you're going to get sex and they lock you in. It's Dustle-Daw. which came out a year before this

Oh yeah you're right Better movie And that movie holds up kind of I think it does more Also Bordello of Blood Steve Which is a couple years before that The sex points Quentin Tarantino is trying to wrap up

On that movie Another 25 for feet man You know Quinn It just doesn't count anymore Also taking pictures of Lydia's feet Also writing and directing major motion pictures

wherein you get to film women's feet is not sex points Okay man How about just feet and mouth that it has to be in the mouth. I like, what is this, my search? I'm not even committing to it anymore. So the one guy gets,

the one guy gets like freaked out or whatever. He's like, I don't know, something about this club kind of sucks. I'm going to go back to Serafeans. Is that what happens? Well, no, he's like, oh, because Andy's like, oh, man, Sarah Fien's not here. I'm going to go to her place.

Like, no, Andy, you stay here. I'll go to Serafeen's place. Because all I want to do is because it's support you, brother, man. Talk to you soon. And also, also I feel like, going to get murdered in this club. It's supposed like piss in here. Piss in blood. So

what he discovers her that she had, she like locked herself into his cell. Yeah. Good move. Yeah, that's what you're supposed to do. That's what you're supposed to do. Smart lady. So they do, that's what Seth Green does on Buffy. He does every time. Yeah, but sometimes he gets out. That's bad. But that's what we call robot chicken. Oh, get bit by a robot chicken. You got to make a fucking puppet show

for 30 years. You're cursed to walk the earth. Making a fucking puppet show. Oh, wow, hon. Look, a robot chicken. What do they think of next? What I love is the people that are so proud to work on that stuff. They think it's like curing cancer.

Anyway. She finds out that Andy is at the werewolf club. She's like, you have to. She's like, oh, my God, I have to go save him. She locks Chris in the cage for his own safety because there's a bunch of werewolves about. Meanwhile, the club gets locked. up all these French dudes turned into werewolves and it's not that

oh actually she gets there before she gets and like take whisks Andy away and then Brad the other guy is like where's everybody going and they go into this tunnel system two werewolves follow them and like this scene the werewolf scene in the club needs to be

the Wishmaster 2 scene you know what I mean or like you know what I mean like it needs if you're setting it up where it's a where it's a werewolf in a room full of people and I've been patiently sitting at R-rated movie for 40 minutes. It needs to be fucking carnage. And I'm like, okay.

It's got to be the Piccadilly Circus scene from the first movie. And that's another thing is like that's what it works so well in that first movie the way that like they wait until the very end of the movie and have this just explosion of violence that just goes for like 15 minutes

and it's fucking great. And then like you diffuse all of that by having like the quote unquote cool part happens so early on like this but then also like it's not cool and it looks terrible so like you waste the opportunity twice and in that first movie it's like the pandemonium of the whole city going crazy over in that intersection yeah and here it's just like well it's in this tucked away area no one's ever gonna see it it's like it's like it too exciting someone might fall into a fucking crick under the fucking catacombs that's about it it is it you know it i mean like

there's a lot of implied whatever you don't even see like i think somebody's arm gets ripped off, like they're trying to reach out to the door, the guy rips out the arm. Oh, yeah. That's sort of something. Question, the big bald bouncer guy, is he like a guy who, what do they call them in blade? Oh, they look familiar as I think.

Helper. Yeah, I mean, is that what's going on here? Is it like a you bounce for all these like, wherewolf orgies we're going to do? And eventually Trevor will bite your ankle one day. He gets all of the wallets after he's... That's a good deal. The werewolf wallet inspector. And also the last thing I want to do is be a fucking

werewolf. Vampire, definitely. I can be talked to be in a vampire. Hold up a second. Vampire. Yeah. Every day you can't go outside during the sunlight. Actually, that's probably pretty cool. But the werewolf thing, it only fucking matters.

What, a few weeks? But then I'm not even in control of what I'm doing. I'm just going, and I wake up covered in blood. Great. It's another fucking Saturday for Steve. I guess that's fair. But I'm just saying, your life could be unchanged

I think though see every monster situation has its pros and cons because I think the other thing to consider vampirism just the one and done transformation so it sucks ass, it hurts, you feel like garbage but it's just one time werewolf every fucking month

you live forever you get to do you're living forever and like it seems like you are mostly in control of who you are and are not killing right in most mythologies. Nobody wants to be Frankenstein, though, right? No, no, nobody. No, just mechanical rotting corpse pieces. Yeah, I guess I guess vampires are cool, yeah.

I would want to be eye Frankenstein. That means I'm Aaron Eckhart. Ooh, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Being the invisible man might have its perks. Oh, yeah. Until Superman fucks in the ass. Hey, I'm your uncle.

Let me tell you a joke. It's Superman, right? The Invisible Man and Superman are part of the same pantheon. No, they're not. Anyways, let, no, don't worry about it. Maybe the Invisible Man sounds so great until you take a ride on Wonder Woman's Invisible Airplane

And then you know you borrowed that Your Crash Land No one could find you or the records What is the deal in the The graphic novels Of League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Mr. Hyde Fussing invisible man in the ass

Yes Alan Moore is very classy that way That's nice People say he's a genius Some people do Some stuff's great No some of it is But now that I know that he's got ass fucking stuff,

what is this my searchist? See, that one you've believed in. Yeah. Sometimes you don't believe in something. You got out of bed for that one. But so, like, she, as they're escaping, she pushes Andy away because she's now turning into a werewolf. Also, I don't know, you turn into a werewolf at, like, I don't know,

9.45 at night. Like, it's a... Yeah, that's not just when the moon is rising. What I was also going to get at is another thing that diffuses even the where shit in this movie is this serum that they can inject to become werewolves whenever they want. Awesome. We're on demand. So what's

the fucking point? Why even be werewolves? Just make them monster men. Because isn't it the thing, it's like a one single line she says, or Claude I think actually reveals it that he wants to like create a werewolf army so

werewolves can take over the human race? Like an anti-technology cults that are going to become werewolves? Can I have More on that. So wait, hang on a second, though. Yeah, it's some sort of like Luddite bullshit. But like, you used medical science to create this thing. Asshole.

Good point. I mean, but also like, again, as a werewolf, you're basically just getting blackout drunk. You have no control of what you're doing. You know what I mean? So it's just like what you do every few weeks anyway. Exactly. Your life would be unchanged. Yes, but I'm not murdering people eating chicken.

Oh, wait. No, yeah. That's okay. I do think a rare planet would be cool. Oh, where planet? Or the idea of like, I want, like, we talked about it a little bit with the first movie. I mean, you know,

you get the wear army. That's interesting. That's like, yeah. You would get, like way more members just saying, I just want to create a army of werewolves than saying, we're an anti-technology cult.

Yep. That also wants to be werewolves for some reason. I mean, I know it doesn't make any sense. But think about this. You paratroop some werewolves down into Silicon Valley. Oh, oh my God.

Yes. They could destroy all of Facebook and you know all that other shit Oh dude It's like the end of fight club But it's with the werewolves Oh yes

Oh man You met me in a very hairy time In my life Elon Musk would turn into a hairless Werewolf Oh yeah It would just be like A Mr. Biggelsworth's situation

Except for really big I gotta tell you I'm seeing more and more Tesla's on the road What the fuck is your problem It's I don't know You just don't care About anybody I guess

I guess so Here's just a robot Isn't it amazing? It's a person. I'm sorry, it's a person. Yeah, I don't know what I'm doing. You could name your stupid car after any inventor or whatever. All the new Einstein's are out. He's a genius.

But so he- No Nietzsche convertible. Oh, also, here's a moment for some of the terrible comedy in this movie. It's a great example. She's fucking screaming at him in this catacomb, like while she's turning into a werewolf to like, get out of there. And he's like, no, but I gotta save you.

And she screams like, get out. And he goes, I will just never understand women. Shut the fuck up and get out of you. Yeah, please. Some cool almost transformation stuff for like that midway. She's got like the weird cling on forehead going for a second.

This is what sucks ass is like we obviously budgeted for a teeny tiny bit of practical effect. Exactly. It's a tease. But like, boy, does it just not even matter. He runs away and it's important he spears a werewolf that is about to, that's the werewolf that scratches him or bites his foot. He spears it first. Yeah, my ankle.

And meanwhile, Vince Valuf, rat races, Vince Valuf as Brad gets killed. And they, I mean, like, again, like the Griffin Dunn murder, A, which comes like 20 minutes earlier in the good movie, is so brutal and so horrific. Because you like this character. And he's screaming for his life and his blood is going everywhere. it's so chicken shit because we're just doing the Jurassic Park bit

where something jumps on him and then you see a water drain and all this water comes out he gets neddreed he does kind of get neddreed don't we also see cloudy red water

of cam like him under water and then his body falls out of the drain too it's blood blood blood then his body pops out but it's it's also just a dumb he's like hey guys

what are you doing down here the parties just get going upstairs. I know. What? I want to see this guy get fucking beheaded. That'd be something.

Yep. Come on. Let's get back to the party with no girls. Sick, dude. Yeah, no girls. A lot of dogs. Is she out of this cage

at this point? Am I confusing part? Yeah, no. She's out. We don't know where she is. And that dude is locked in instead because she wants him to be safe.

You can't go back to the club because the club people are food. And then he uses like his chain wallet to help get the key to go. And his rock and bod. Yeah, so we get to see him strip to use his clothes to throw it across the room. And then what?

He throws a shoe to knock the key and then drags it back. Wow. That's something. Some sexy little scene. I'll tell you what. I wouldn't think of that. Probably not. I would have stayed in that cell for the rest of the movie.

I'd be like, I don't want to take my shirt off in case anyone comes in here. I don't know if anyone's going to be coming in here anytime. I don't know. It might save my life, but I'm just not comfortable taking my shirt. And then this is the character that we actually see what's going on with the stepfather with the werewolf that has now changed chained to a hospital bed. No legs. Very cool. Very cool. Werewolf stepfather. So is he only her father

every full moon? Is that? Yeah. I don't need to pay alimony this week. Look, there's really realistically like two to three days out of the month where we can have sex. The rest of the time, it's disgusting. Oh, werewolves fucking my mom. Yeah, but like this creature... It's cool looking. Yeah, the werewolf was chained down to the bed.

It's a double amputee werewolf. And like, it starts going after him. It knocks its bed over and it's crawling. Like, it all is really cool. It's the best part of the movie, kind of. And he, like, tries to pick a lock to get out of there. And it turns out to be a closet. Yeah.

It's kind of funny. He climbs up over the thing. the door and to jump over this turned over hospital bed. Really parkour moves. Like this is fucking pretty impressive how this guy does this. And this guy's last scene

and the rest of the movie he's just kind of tied up for the most part. Dude, the reveal of this dude he's like still in the werewolves clutches tied to a cross. Like 40 minutes later. What happened?

I mean, he jumps out the window here and gets away. So then I guess he goes to the club and gets captured. No, you see later like the next morning. So the next morning,

Andy wakes up in Sederfine's bed and she's trying to gently break it to him that he's a werewolf and Chris is telling him to get out of there and then but Chris gets captured by Claude and that's kind like he just he goes but so this is a confusing part

of the movie though because yes all of that but then like like it's Tom Everett Scott's like at the window because Chris has been like throwing pebbles up to get his attention or whatever that all happens but then in that same movement is it not also revealed there's like he's dreaming and having like fucked up on

and off double triple dream yeah which is which happens in the original thing but and we also get some very pointless julia delpy nudity for sure some real deal yep i feel like she legitimate actress julie who had to be like can we just sit down one more time what what what why am i taking my shirt off here guys what's what's what's the point what's the well you got a rock and bye I know. Thank you very much. Okay, noted, noted. But me, I'm an actress. I'm in a scene. I'm a character.

It's in the contract. You got a rock and bod. Welcome to Hollywood. I know. I forgot to mention it, but earlier in the film, she puts a heart in a blender and spins it around to a beautiful oblivion. Oh, is it right now? Get Eve Six going, baby.

The song existed. I'm fairly certain the song existed by this point. I want to look that up, actually. but I thought the same thing I was like there are literally or is it written because of this because of this great art film Oh

that's probably not true Wanna room a tender neck with Thessaline No I don't know We're still doing that bit no But so yeah she she She's trying to give him a smoothie A blood smoothie of heart Like it's gonna help you with the transformation

And he's like what is going on here It's entirely possible Oh The songwriter of Eve Six was inspired by this movie because this tune was released in May of 1998. Oh, okay, so yeah, dude, definitely.

Yeah. Look, I wanted you to tie me to the bedpost because I'm a werewolf. This is going to be a great hit, singer of Eve 6. But, you know, we should take out all the werewolf stuff. So it's more, you know. Here's to the nights. We turn to wolves. But so she's like, oh, you're going to be a werewolf.

it's going to be really scary. He's like, what? She's like, okay, you're really nervous. Let me take my shirt off and you can put your hands on my breasts to relax center. Center. Yes.

Well, that calms me down. Dude, a couple of handfuls of hooters there. Sure. This is my search history? And the double fake dream he has is like her doing that again. But then this is what she has, werewolf nipples.

Do she like eight werewolf nipples? Yes, it's really something else, isn't it? now I would wager that that that wolf milk would taste better than human milk as an adult male interesting you know I think so yeah I mean I don't know human breast milk seems weird to me as an adult oh no I think about the cows milk I'm talking about her I'm talking about human milk versus wolf milk breast milk yeah I think human breast milk at least is supposed to be a little on the salty side really really okay I think I heard that somewhere.

But Wolf Milk, you know, it nurtured, what was Romulus and Remus. Yeah, that's right. Definers of Empog. I mean, it probably tastes like hair, so I don't know. I don't know. Just something to muse about on your way home today. Wolf Milk sounds like a band that released a really good album in 2007. Yeah.

Wolf Milk. Then broke up immediately. Because they were like, you know what? I cannot possibly go out on stage another night and say, we are wolf milk we are the first post trip hop alt dance band wolf milk

I think what threw that in my head too was also the the wolf child and the alternate ending yes so breast milk's been on the mind also my search history so whatever

he winds up this is when the apparently Jenny a gutter's nurse character comes back or sure whatever and he jumps out because he's like

what the world I'm Tom Everett's God. Soinks. I just love, I mean, werewolf superpowers or no. You see a fucking ghost and your thing is I'm jumping out this window. Chris just made a really good point by saying zoinks, which he did,

which is close your eyes and imagine how much better this movie is with Matthew Lillard in the lead. Yep. It's like 10 times better. 10, 20 times better. He can handle the comedy better. Yes. Yeah. Or if there was Scooby-Doo helping them out,

would also be good. That's also true. R-oh-ro. So Tom Everett-Scott makes his way back to the club where like the fucking police are on the scene and this is so unbelievable. This guy just like walks

right through the crime scene tape right and I'm like, can any fucking gendarme out there stop this guy? What are you doing? We do not know how to do police ver. We are French. Don't you understand? We are weak. So they find

Brad in the drain. and Tom Everett Scott tries to be moved by that and he gets interviewed misses that dartboard completely he gets interviewed by the police and now the police are kind of on his tail

this is when he starts to be and again totally not what the first movie David is just like I'm not a world I'm just a regular person he has like weird dreams maybe he wants like

some like rarer meat like he's not because he's not hungry at all he's not hungry at all that's the bit here it's like he's like walking around like a dog he's got it's teen wolf we're doing teen wolf yeah yeah he wants he gets he goes they go to this bistro he gets a steak he wants it rare he wants it even rarer bloody and then he starts sniffing a girl's ass and

pussy yeah dude he does like a fucking dog it is julie bowen by the way sorry to be crude here but it's true and i mean yeah this is went back with julie bowen was just sort of like babe meat you know what i mean like this and happy gilmore like oh yes definitely i think she's good more, though. Oh, no, she is. But, like, the outfits is what I'm talking about. You know what I mean? Like, I think she's pretty good in this, actually.

I think, for what this movie is asking her to do, I think she does a pretty good job here. She does it perfectly. The other thing that is also happening, like, right as he makes his way to this bistro where he's asking for the stakes is, um, he's got other heightened senses. Like, he's walking through Paris and, like, he can, they're doing a lot of, like, he can hear stuff from far away. Oh, yeah, there's a fly he hears it at some point. I think maybe in Sirfid's bedroom. Okay. I don't never comes back

no no nothing ever comes of any of this and yeah I do hate how it goes from like the gag is he's not hungry until he's going to turn and eat humans from the first movie into like yeah I just want this cooked rarer bloody and I'm just doing goofy shit now excuse me while I flail and Brad shows up as a zombie

and well Julie Bowen's character is like an American tour is like oh my God an American and like she's just like you're hot and they're like kind of hanging out because he's an American specifically she's sucking a green bean like it's something else why would you why would you go all the way to

Paris to fuck an American I mean what's true yeah my experience girls here don't even want to fucking America no I just can't get over that nowhere accent oh that flat oh that flat accent that's so sexy oh my God he speaks

one language. Oh my God, is that is that an Ohio accent? Holy shit. He's wearing a baseball cap of a college football team. Oh my God. Well, Americans are hot.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. He just said Grindr. Oh. Oh. He keeps endlessly talking about spicy catcher. oh my god man if I had a time machine I'd go back to

1996 and invent spicy cash oh you're a billionaire way ahead of everything now you know younger listeners might not know this but like avocado didn't exist yet back then you know like none of that shit

saracha etc we're sitting on a gold mom yeah condiment tycoon Eric Siskin yeah you got to go to the 70s and when everyone's just eat meat low fucking four days a week and be like yo dude avocado and chicken

on a sandwich is pretty fucking good. Think about that. And then we'd have at least two terms of the Carter administration. That's right. You'd save the fucking planet. Fuck. Yeah. Don't worry. I'll save off Reagan. I'll keep Reagan. Out of the

White House. Brand new Cisco product. Oh, yeah. I guess with Carter in the mix, I'd have to invent some type of peanut sauce. Yes. Some Thai peanuts. But so. Yeah, Thai food was forbidden.

We weren't even eating sushi. We were just getting used to it. Just the first range of it. There was probably the first Thai restaurant was in 1984. In America. And it's like only in Los Angeles. Like one place in Los Angeles. There is a whatever huge points off for Brad, the ghost guy.

Here's a scary voice. It's like, well, that's like part of. Did you see the first movie? And again, that's like the great, the four. of Landis to be like play it bubbly and charming Yes. Like don't play it angry, play it happy go lucky. Yes. And

that's why Griffin Dunn is so memorable. But yeah, and this he's just, he's angry ghost guy. And that's horror comedy, right? It has to be both of those things hitting each other. This doesn't this just wants to be like a teen movie, but it doesn't land on any foot. No, this is like my boyfriend's

back pretty much. Yeah. Or like Which is actually a better movie. Yeah, it absolutely is. Did this Foffman's in that, dude. Oh, yeah, it definitely is. Yeah, a small role. Did this come out before or after idle hands? Ooh, around the same time.

Yeah, idle heads might be 98 or 99. Yeah, it's kind of a photo finish. But like that same kind of like, I've got two dead friends, which I believe in that movie are Eldon Hanson and what's his name? Little, our tiny guy. Seth Green, yeah.

99, my friends. Oh, okay. Yeah, but it's that same kind of like, we're the dead zombie friends. And that's taken literally from American. they're skipping Paris, they're going back to London, you know, because they're trying to be fun and stuff, you know what I mean?

Sure. But whatever, he's like, you're going to turn into Werewolf, blah, blah, blah, he's trying to do it. And again, like, it is like fucking, like, I don't do 8, 9, 10 o'clock. And, like, he's just walking around like a person. And then he takes Julie Bowen to Jim Morrison's grave. They're going to fuck on Jim Morris.

And not that I'm a huge Jim Morrison fan, but like, that's pretty disrespectful to anybody, I would think. Yeah, I mean, he would at least see that your dick is small, right? He'd be into it. I think maybe even he was like, in his will he was like, please have people fucking

on my grave. No, I think he would sing something like, come on leave my grave alone. I'll leave my grave alone. See, Christmas point, he was a dumb American 27-year-old full of sex and drugs and alcohol. I mean, he likes, you know, he might have enjoyed it. Yeah, that's true.

But I do agree that we shouldn't be tormenting spirits. Come on, come on, come on, come on my grave. But it's just like, I don't know, it's just such an obviously dumb thing. You know, like, what's a, what's a fucking landmark in Paris? That would be like, cool to do.

Yeah, because Julie Bowen is even like, oh, I love Jim Morrison. I'm like, okay. Did we already use up the Eiffel Tower? Okay. That's it. Oh, there's certainly no more landmarks in Paris. Better go fuck on Joe Morris.

Wait, we could go to the Louvre. Oh, we already said it. Oh, fuck. So they're full on fucking. He is, I mean, now to get graphic on this show, I would hate to do that. No.

He is inside her when he starts to change. Everybody else noticed that? Oh, yeah. Which is like, did you feel the red rocket? It was like, went in normal and then it turns into the red rocket? That's cool. She was like, oh, I think it fell out. You got to put it back in.

And he's like, no, now it's just a smaller dog dick. I just have to readjust myself now. I'm going to readjust my stance. My penis is now turned into a smaller dog dick. She's like, oh my God. The implication is that like he singed her down there because his skin's got so hot. That's cool.

Interesting. Before he fucking jumps into the pool. Hot pack. Yeah, his whole body's like overheating. Which is from the first one. That's what David's like, I'm fucking burn it up, man. Yeah.

A much better. but also like yeah yeah i mean like that's got a hot rocket right there yeah yeah uh so she's like is everything okay he jumps into the pool and we just do gremlins kind of thing it's like a fountain it's a fountain and this is straight up from the trailer and i think they even inserted it into the special american werewolf in paris mouth music video that they made oh yeah this shot because bush is playing right now this is yeah this is where the best music drop of the movie but we waste it in this dumb scene And, yeah, this is like, he jumps out of the fountain, full werewolf mode, whatever.

And she, and there's also a French detective was like following him with a dog as well. Oh, yes. And like she's running around and she realizes that the werewolf is going to follow her perfume. So she's putting it in different muzzalium. What's the point of, oh, I completely missed that. Having police at all in this. They don't do shit. They don't do anything.

I mean, that's like, it's funny in the first. movie because, like, the one guy's dumb. Yes. And then the other guy has the incredibly graphic decapitation at the end of the movie. These two guys, the one guy, you don't, this guy with the dog, you don't see him get actually attacked. And the other

cop who kind of makes it towards the end of the movie, I don't think you see him get got either. He goes into a tunnel and you never see him again. So whatever. Wonderful. Well, like, and even in that one, like, you have the doctor, like, building up the menace of being aware.

there's no sense here that there's like it's all because the fucking techno cults like you scrap all the stuff that actually makes it scary for techno cult so he winds up getting her in a mausoleum but no first he gets the detective and his dog the next morning he wakes up and like there's a I was actually like oh this is a great idea because he wakes up next to a dead dog puppet yeah and I kept expecting him to be haunted by a dog like that would a dog like it's all like covered in blood and he's like, I don't know, man, give you a load you dog. It would be fucking, and, and you just inspired this. They treat it like Han Solo and Chewbacca.

The dog is barking and Tom Everett's got his understanding it and responding back in English. See, that's comedy. That's the horror comedy right there. Yep. There's actual humor. A little blood covered dog, you know. It would be great. But no, he gets arrested because he's killed Joey, Julie Bowen and these other people and the dog.

And like, he goes to, I don't. even know how it happens what they're having him identify people in the morgue and then they leave him alone is it that or is it like a look what you did you a little bit sure because it's like i guess to maybe prove like yep see they're definitely dead so literally leave you alone with these dead bodies and and like and now julie bowen shows up as a zombie yep and they're are she's arguing she says thanks for a loving lovely evening douchebag that's fun there's a guy if you rose down that says Hey, I can't rest in

pieces down here. Oh, that fucking sucks shit. I was like, get your ghost head back in that draw. That really sucks. The cop picking up the Muppet dog, dead dog. This thing, it's so silly looking.

I want this dead dog public. It's just really fucking funny. But then, like, she's like, you have to kill yourself. But Brad's, Brad isn't killed by him. So he's like, no, he's my best bud And he's got to kill my werewolf. And that's, it's kind of an interesting

addition to what the first movie sets up. Sure. Right? And like that's some nice sequel building shit. It's like, you killed me. Kill yourself so I can move on. No, well, not just yet. I need his help getting the fucking dude that got me so I can move on.

And like that's a thing. Yeah. That ultimately does not matter. It goes nowhere because he escapes and this is the, the car chasing. sequence. Am I wrong here? Is this it or is it later when he escaped? I think he escapes and then he goes to Serafine's house. This is when Claude shows him his other buddy and he's like, join my techno pagan horseshit cult or whatever. I mean, the middle of this movie gets so muddy. It does. It really

like nothing makes sense anymore until then we just have like our climax at that stupid club again. Yeah, exactly. It's another club thing. The middle ground here, the only thing I do want to say is him getting into all those car accidents is pretty funny. An American werewolf attraction. I was waiting for Benny Hill songs to start going off in this. It's like literally like oh I mean

I guess it's more blues like end of blues brother this is like Oh okay now I'm remembering the car chase He's jumping on top of the cars The buses and he's in a car He gets hit by a bunch of I think it's either from the police or the werewolf cult I think it's from the werewolf cult

because like he's asked to kill his best friend to join the werewolf cult and then he's like, no, I'm not going to do that. Because he says something about Claude is like, by the way, dude, you becoming a werewolf was a total accident. We should have just continued eating you. But that wasn't the case. And yeah,

they do try to like indoctrinate him. Yeah, but then he escapes and he like steals a car and they go back to Serafine's layer. Yes. And then like the dad is dead, killed off screen by the cult, I guess. Which is, and they steal all of the serum. Well, the dad

He's like flatlining at the start of the scene. He walks in and seraphene's got the fucking paddles on him. Yeah. It's horse shit. I mean like it's so meaningless and she's like, oh no, now they could become werewolves whenever. And also it's not even like, you're totally right, Eric. Like it's one thing, it's weird that like he's like, oh, if I give you this depressant,

it'll just so like what any old depressants is going to do it. Yeah. Alcohol going to do it? Like, you know what I mean? Like there is a chart on the on the board like the like Emmett Brand like it was veered into an alternate in 1985, veered into an alternate wear state. And it's like,

here's where it'll peak with the moon. Oh, yes. You're right. And it's like right here, right here at almost the peak will give you the depressant and you won't get, you won't become a werewolf. You'll just try to kill yourself instead.

It all makes so much sense. This is, I mean, this is also where she talks about like we were trying to engineer like a cure for lycanthropy. And I was like, shut the fuck up. Yep.

Fuck you, movie. Indeed. She also reveals like this is she says to him like, by the way, yeah, I was the one that fucking killed my own mother and I fucking ate my stepdad's legs or whatever happened. Yum, no, no, no, no, no. That's right. It's like, yum, yeah, yeah, man, no, no. Listen, it was a tragic accident, but my stepdad's legs, total numbers. Total numbers. That's good thigh meat. There's some of the fridge left over. I'll definitely just pick it out and let it go to waste. Yeah. Some dad leg cutlet. You have to get into the knees.

You know, there's some little good pieces of meat in there. Oh, yeah, suck out the cartilin. Bone marrow. Oh, yeah. Could we have some of my stepdad's legs for the table, please? Chicken legs? Oh, also, like, this is, I don't know what prompts this. Because, again, there's, like, no chemistry or,

emotional relationship between the two of them. Somewhere around here, there is some serious fucking tongue kissing that's happening. I mean, again, like, the movie tells you that they like each other, so you have to believe it, I guess. Yeah. But it's just funny because it's just like tongue kissing, tongue kissing, tongue kissing, tongue kissing. And then there's this like hard

Yeah, oh yeah. But then there's just this hard cut to him just being chased by these guys and it's like, did part of the movie fall out of the two TV stream that I was watching? I think so. It, it so muddled, it is so confused.

This is where all the, this is where he's on top of the car. He's gonna do some Jackie Chan's shit here a little bit. Absolutely. So what is it? There's like a Fourth of July party Americans only because they're the scum of the earth. I agree by the way, as an American. And push that a little bit

because like, I think Claude like is just like oh, I'm a Luddite, whatever. He gives some speech about how Americans are garbage. But that needs to be sort of his thing. It's like all these fucking American tourists come here. I fucking hate it. I'm a werewolf. I want to eat all. Any and all Americans. I hate Americans, period.

You all like your KFC and your W.W.E. Wrestling. You opposed our Kosovo interventionism. Your reality television. Man, remember people used to get mad in the 90s and you think bad, like, why? Seriously. I mean, I understand for civil rights purposes,

but sure. But this, let's if I can go on with this. oh my god we're losing all these americans in paris are all becoming werewolves that is at least like a good bond villain-esque thing right and that's a motivator of some kind yes maybe it's just but it's so weak and like he it's four guys like that's the villain four fucking guys who want to be werewolves hey hell i need you to go to paris and sort this werewolf shit out man as you know i gotta stay locked in a cage in the basement of the White House. I, too, I'm a werewolf. Oh, Hillary, sorry, I got to take another trip

to Jeff's Island so I don't ruin anybody with my lichenthropy. I don't know much about lichingthropy, but I know a lot about lickingthrope, baby. What is that my search history? I was trying to hook up with this French baby, but you bit my balls and now I'm a werewolf. biting balls that's awesome

an American president in Paris I like it it would be a better movie An American werewolf in the White House That's the trilogy There it is Hell yeah

That's like the omen When Damien becomes Presidents It's right Scary Oh shit we got the Japanese premiere Coming and I'm gonna be a werewolf That night

Oh Hillary you gotta tell him I got food Pausing it Instead of puking in his lap like H.W. I'm going to be eating his lap. I'm going to be eating his guy's cock. Jesus.

Now the aisle of Japan's in trouble. We got a special relationship, but then I hate the British Prime Minister, baby. I ruined that one. Too fucked it up. Done 8 p.m. The PM is now my B.M.

You know what, Chelsea? Have Gingrich come over here on the 19th when the moon is full. Tell him I got a special present for him. Boom, I'm going to eat that fucker up. I'm going to eat him right up. Tell him to dust himself with paprika. And do you think you're going to get rid of me?

He's a fucking vampire, baby. Well, the judge. definition of what is is a vampire also I think Mike Clinton's just like Bill Cosby

I'm gonna need some jelloputin so yeah but it is a bond villain thing where he's got all these Americans in an old church and

here's something just a tip for when you're you're traveling the globe if we ever get to do that again if you're in

a strange land and someone gives you a crinkled flyer that says July 4 party Americans only perhaps and just perhaps you think about doing something else that just putting that out there.

Unless you get a free tote, then go. Oh yeah, what's the tote situation? It says like, you know, Club de Loon or whatever the Moon Club name is there and July 4th bash 97. At the lunar lounge. Honey, yes, I know.

We already have 57 of them, but 58 is the perfect number of the outs. And meanwhile, so all these Americans go in, Serafine stays out, Tom Everett Scott's going to look for whatever on the inside, and the big beefy dude puts a fucking bulldozer to the door so no one can get out.

Right. And this is when, like, I'm like, is this an R-rated movie or what? Is it just about fucking, uh, what you call, uh, uh, uh, is it just about Julie Delpy's tits or Like, because it's literally, she throws a gargoyle on his head and you just sort of see him go, wah, and you cut. Like, no, I want to see that go into him. Splattertown, dude, absolutely.

Like, have the fucking guts to do what a horror movie should do. We just have some gore would be something. It would be pretty nice. But instead, you know, you think, you know, werewolf movie, probably some nice crazy actions. No, no, no. We introduce guns at this point. We're just shooting at each other. Why is there so much gun play in this movie?

I don't get it. Because all these guys, you know, the big claw comes down and he gives his whole speech about how he hates Americans. The cops show up and then get locked in with them. Yes. And then they all inject themselves with the fucking Hulk serum and they're going to turn into werewolves. And then it's just a big shootout at these werewolves. But then strikingly, though, this whole like werewolf serum thing is not in fact the most unbelievable part of this movie. At this moment, what in fact is the most unbelievable part

is you have these two French cops talking to each other in a conversation that is just the two of them and they are both speaking English. Can't my kingdom for some fucking subtitles and French language being used here. At that point, why not just cast Americans as the French cops? It makes no sense. I mean, it's so useless.

Like, was someone, I mean, because this was like, Buena Vista put this out, which is weird. But, like, so was someone at Disney, like, no, we can't possibly have French spoken in this movie. We'll lose the whole audience. It's Paris. I'm expecting to see some yellow sometimes. That is why we keep going to American-specific parties. And it's like, if you don't have the fucking gall, like Charles D., to fucking go for the French,

then they can fucking American werewolf in Columbus, Ohio. Look, we set the movie in gay Paris, okay? So that's enough. We got to get more American stuff like this. You know what? We're going to kill the werewolves with bullets. Just any old bullets. It gives a shit.

Dude, there's just like, this is, it's like the fucking, the building lobby scene and the first matrix. Like, the gunplay here is outrageous. They're just shooting all these werewolves. I mean, again, like, obviously, the end of the original werewolf, he gets shot by a gun, and that's the end of it. That's cool. but like, I don't know, for all of these werewolves

just get shot, it's kind of boring. And there could have been some cool cynicism here where Andy the Tom Everett Scott character gets a gun, sees two werewolves going at it, shoots them, and one of them is her. Well, that happens, but that she survived. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. If he killed her dead, it would be something.

Because that's, you know, what's funny is I thought, I'd only seen this movie one time. I rented it, you know, back in the 90s, had no memory of it. I was like, oh, cool. He shot her and she's dead and we'll have that same sudden ending like the first movie has.

Oh, wouldn't that be nice? Oh, wouldn't it though? Instead, you'll believe you can see a werewolf get hit by a subway car and they run in, they have a fight there. And he's making his way through this subway car like Jason Borges. And he eats his heart.

Eating the heart part's kind of fun. At first there's a strong. struggle because he's turned back into because he got shot or something. He turned back into a human and they want to do like he wants to do the serum so he can turn back into a werewolf but Andy injects it into himself during the scuffle

and then eats him and eats his heart. Andre Skagasy gets the fuck he turns back into normal and then he gets this I mean like I was just the slow motion I mean Steve already brought up but the slow motion turn of Tom Everett Scott into this beast

I remember this I also remember from the trailer this like slow motion shot you're just like oh my god it looks terrible and like it just it's immediate like he eats the heart and he's like back to normal there you go it is just amazing how CGI has aged so poorly again like

I mean I know I'm a fucking old guy that's what I'm talking about but like I mean like a movie from 1881 shouldn't look better than 1997 it shouldn't like how does that make sense we were sucking our own dick over CGI after Jurassic Park was that 94

And that still looks good because they know how to do it. They actually committed to it, I guess. Like when I actually say, what is that in my search history versus and now this movie is like, I will say there is a great moment in this subway scene before Andrei Skagasy gets it, where he's the werewolf first and he's chasing after everybody on this train. because the whole thing is like you think the werewolf got hit by the subway and then ooh he's there

the first lady to go down looks exactly like Rosanne it's like and like a 19 like right when Roseanne's sitcom was started she still had like the curly hair this woman gets eaten by this werewolf looked exactly like Roseanne

it was fucking great probably the best part of the movie for me I think but he wins he eats his heart and then like yeah well Julie Delpy's like before that happened but she's asking him to kill her because she can't take the pain and just end it

and then you can eat my heart because I think I'm the werewolf that killed you and he's like no I can't do it you're gonna be okay I can't do it I haven't had sex with you I need the points to win

also and this your friends are dead why are you still doing sex points it's important say the fucking words yeah he was on a t-shirt um be

oh so after he eats the heart, right? So he's victorious. He's got the head werewolf down. I guess, like, you know, in victory, he goes to howl like a wolf. And I don't know if they were sold out

of sound effects at the sound effects store or what was happening. But like, this wolf howl that they give him at the end of this movie sounds terrible. And it's like, I'm sorry. It's a werewolf movie. You had one fucking job. Exactly.

Wolf sound. You just reuse the sound from the first movie, which sounds awesome. It sounds so terrible here. I could not even believe it. It's a Cassio keyboard. Yeah, we, I'm sorry,

we lost all the werewolf sounds. What we have here is Nick Malti stretching. Yeah, that'll do. So what happens now? Like Sarah, oh, we have Tom Arnold stubbing his toe.

Oh! We have Polly Shore hungover. Oh! we have we've got Martin short farting we have Bill Clinton

looking good pornography got a Tom Scarap burpin oh man I would like to hear this all played on a cast Oh and the

oh so here comes your tacked on ending with the title card that comes up several moons later. I want to point out, Serafine wakes up in an ambulance. I love you, Andy.

And this dude is like, my name is Bruno, but I'm easy. It's like, shit, dude. You look at the wrong ambulance lady. What did I tell you, $1,000 for a pervert to give you a ride? Yes, exactly. And it's like, man, can we divid? Just don't have this scene or do different dialogue.

It's not fun. It's like, oh, yeah, cool. It's a sexually. aggressive EMT. Everyone's literal worst nightmare. My name is Buck and I look to fuck. But yes, this is the, oh, this is we have another one here. It's Quentin

Tarantino looking at a shoe catalog. We have a Paul Gmadi Ging an erection. We need to hear that one again. perfect oh boy so then what would be nice to see several moons later but the world trade center and then also lady liberty they jump off the statue of liberty the ring falls over so they're both gonna do they're dressed your bride and groom and they've broken in to the statue of liberty

again what are we doing if only because if you've ever been up there the windows are like totally sealed and they're like small really small little view windows you can't just do stuff like this I'm sorry it's so fucking stupid at least though in this instance when they dive off it's a fucking you know just a straight on the statue unlike the Eiffel Tower that you know comes out like it's at least kind of a more straight drop but here's the thing they're doing like they're doing the whole like fucking around up there and then like the ring falls like just let it go yeah and then you know

they jump off to get the ring as well and oh oh we didn't tie ourselves completely there's one that's and they don't even the the friend is there the survivor yes chris the designated survivor and he doesn't even get to tie it up in time it's just they hug each other when they get the ring he puts it on while falling and then they're able to go back up with the one bungee cord. I find out that my wife to be is into, or my husband to be is into wedding stunts. It's off.

Yeah. It's definitely. I got to go. I'm sorry. Oh, you're both of American friends and you like to jump off building. Would you like to hang wide off the chapel? Thank you for saving me from like a dirty.

But we're going to part ways here. And I hope you enjoy the rest of your trip. Enjoy roll. Bye. It's weird. She didn't want to exchange vows underwater while scuba. Baby, come on. It'll be so romantic if we both

get hit by cannonballs in our stomach when we're saying our vows. We don't have a werewolf noise, but we do have Jeff Goldblum being told that they don't have any more red wine in the restaurant. Oh. Oh, actually, yeah, we're totally

out of wolf sound effects, but we do have Tom Hanks being amused by a New Yorker cartoon. Oh, we have Holly Hunter flossing. Oh, and yeah, we do not, we don't have anything, any of the werewolf stuff. We do have Morgan Freeman after eating a delicious meal. We have Anthony Hoppkins after a fresca.

We do it. We have Obama mid-sentence. we have John Lovitz finding a penny Hey This is Charlton Heston realizing his car won't start We have Adolf Hitler

stubbing his toe Well we don't have to play You know what it sounds like A hell of a sound board you got going That's a lot of ryeer bits We do have Tim Allen It's not the sound you think it is though Ah fuck

We have William Shadden or orgasming I like that I'm coming That's the wrong one Oh That's the one that he says it It's supposed to sound something like a howl We have two

We have two separate Yeah I press the wrong button Yeah I'm sorry I'm coming That's the one he made for his wedding day He just wanted to quit on the aisle When they were coming down

Oh coincidentally Because he's in this movie We have Tom Everett Scott acting We have Leonard Dewey Straining to pick up an air conditioner That's what killed him Why will no one help me? Also why did I buy

this window unit. Oh shit. I'm fucking Spock. I should afford central air. That's the end of this stupid movie though. Yeah, it's done. It's done. Thank God.

Would anybody recommend it? No, no. Yeah, I say in the other movie, the other episode there, that American Moreliff and London's one of my favorite movies. This is not. It's ill-conceived.

I do think there's a 90s version of this movie that's peppy fun and has some of the spirit of the original movie, it just it's not this shit. Yeah. Chris Cabin. Yeah, it's awful. I remember seeing this in theaters and like it's like I feel like

this was going to be cursed like even like I guess something like the cursed is similar like attempt to update the werewolf like they just fucked it up. Bad Moon was literally the last good one. Yeah. And like yeah the camera looks terrible.

All the acting is terrible. Oh, yeah. Terrible. Eric Siska. Yeah, you know, instead of dog shit, I guess it's wolf shit. I really, I couldn't stand it. The original is great and a classic. Check out patreon.com slash we hate movies for a full-length episode on a good movie. Indeed.

Yeah, I wouldn't recommend this. I would recommend replacing it with the sound of Ethan Hawk getting excited that his kid hit a home run in baseball. no this movie fucking sucks it's total shit town i think on the w lm for american werewolf in london i recommend howling two definitely do howling too i i would also say maybe scour your pluto tvs and your tubi TVs because i think that's where i saw it floating around most recently and like i said on that episode too

with that movie howling two your sister's a werewolf wherewolf warg baby and christopher plumber er christopher lee floating around in there so So yeah, there's other Werewolf properties out there You know, Wolf with Snow Hollow There's things out there you can find This is not one that is worth your time

In any capacity, especially If you were a fan of the first movie But that is going to do it for this edition Of the show that's American Werewolf In Paris directed by Anthony Waller From 97 now Like Eric mentioned, if you want more We Hate Movies Check out patreon.com slash we hate movies

Lots of the bonus stuff will be spookily related This month We're gonna We're doing once in a life time again this. We're doing a little movie called Devil's Diary. Holy smokes. That was something else. It's a crazy movie from 2007 or so, but the episode is fantastic. Let me let these guys know what we're doing for animation

damnation. Nice. This month live right now, we're doing a Halloween special from Doug. Ooh. Remember Doug? I'm excited. Yeah. Holy shit. Kill a tofu. On the Gleepe glossary to tie into the spooktack we're talking about the scariest thing of all. Bureaucracy with Chancellor Valorum.

Wow. I love that. Personally, I don't have confidence in them. But as always, here on the main feed, the show continues. We are just starting the 2021 Halloween Sputacular. Steve, what are we doing next? We are going 20 years later, my friend, H-2-H-O Halloween 20 years later. Oh, yeah. We got Josh Hartnett with a fantastic.

haircut this movie. Michelle Williams. I'm excited to see Michael Myers in California. I'm excited to see Adam Arkin get his again. Oh, hell yeah. Big Adam Arkin have fed over here. Absolutely. And this is of course to tie in with the Halloween kills coming. Yes, of course. We thematically program things on this show. So until next week, where you see Lori Strode drink a lot of wine. I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Sadek. Eric Siska. Chris Gavin. Take it.

We all go a little mad sometimes. You know, it's Halloween. I guess everyone's a title of one good scare. Sometimes, that is matter. Zombies have entered the building. They're at the door. They're coming in! It is time to keep your appointment with the command. They're coming to get you, Barbara. These sick fucks you've seen one too many movies. Now, Sid, don't you blame the movies.

Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative. Put the fucking loser in the bag. What an excellent day for an exorcism. That was a headgum podcast. Thank you.