We Hate Movies - S12 Ep572: Halloween H20: 20 Years Later

Episode Date: October 12, 2021

On this week's episode, the Halloween Spooktacular continues with the guys chatting about the kind-of okay, now-non-canon sequel, Halloween H20: 20 Years Later!  What went on with the ridiculous naming of this film and why didn't they go with the original idea, Halloween 7: The Revenge of Laurie Strode? Who had the brilliant idea to set this in northern California? And can we get more of LL Cool J's erotica? PLUS: Doctor Loomis goes on House Hunters!  Halloween H20: 20 Years Later stars Jamie Lee Curtis, Josh Hartnett, Michelle Williams, Adam Arkin, Adam Hann-Byrd, Jodi Lyn O'Keefe, Janet Leigh, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Nancy Stephens, and LL Cool J as Ronny; directed by Steve Miner. Catch WHM on tour starting this week! New Chicago date added! WHM Merch Store Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lowe's has the Labor Day deals you need to give your home a new look. Buy one, get one free. Select Interior Paint via Visa gift card rebate. Then add the final touch with two for $8 on select 2.5 or 3 quart mums. Refresh your home and save big while doing it. Loos, we help. You save. Valid through 9-3.

Mums offer in-store only. Selection varies by location while supplies last. More terms and restrictions apply. See Lose.com slash rebates for details. Lowe's knows that no matter your paint project, saving is at the top of your list. That's why when you shop today, you can buy one, get one free,

select Valspar and HGTV home by Sherwin-Williams, one-coat coverage, interior paints via rebate. Shop these deals in store or online today at Lowe's. We help, you save. Selection varies by location, while supplies last, discount taking the time of purchase, see sales associate for details, offer valid 821 through 9.3. this week on the program. It may be the cheapest mask in any horror movie ever. It's

Halloween H20 years later. I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Sadek. Eric Siska colon 20 years later. Chris Cabin 38 years later. Oh, yikes. And we hate movies. You know, it's Halloween. I guess everyone's a title of one good scare. Sometimes, death is better. Zombies have entered the building. They're at the door. They're coming in. It is time to keep your appointment with the command. They're coming to get you, Barbara. These sick fucks you've seen one too many movies.

Now, Sid! Don't you blame the movies? Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative. What's the fucking motion in the bad? What an excellent day for an exorcism. Hello everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in.

As always, that's right. The 2021 Halloween Sputacular Continues. We're talking about a 1998 sequel that's very 1998. It's Halloween H2 O'Colon 20 years later. directed by Steve Minor. This guy, I want to see Steve Miner's gold toilet. Ready for this lineup? Warlock, House,

Friday the 13th, 2 and 3, Soul Man, Forever Young, my father, the hero, big bully, Lake Placid, Texas Rangers. It's an oppressive filmography, but Soul Man. Yeah, he... I mean, but I'm just talking paycheck-wise. He was probably paid handsomely for that movie.

Oh, for Texas Rangers, too, for sure. The James Vanderbeek Western. Oh, I forgot. I don't want your horse. It is weird that we finally reveal that yes, Chris is 38 years old and Eric is 20 years old. I am 20 years old.

I started this show and he was nine years old. Exactly. I did. And you know, you could tell because I always had fidget spinners. It was rough. Spinners and drunk on the air

every episode. It was rough back in like 2014 when you were going through puberty. It was a tough time. You could actually go back and listen to the archive folks on Patreon. on patreon.com slash we hate movies to hear the baby voices.

You know what I saw? I saw something speaking of Patreon and one of like the Patreon comment threads and I don't read comment threads but when I was like looking to post something on Patreon I saw like a most recent comment in one of the posts and it was oh you know it was on the archive

and it was like you guys sounded a lot happier in the old days and I was like fuck you like there was reasons to be happy back then look at this world. Exactly. Not only has the world deteriorated, but we thought our lives might mean something. And now we can very much tell they don't. That's why we're all a bunch of Kerry Tate's drinking vodka Stoli at fucking four in the afternoon. Dude, Jamie Lee just pounding booze in this movie, huh?

Man, Miss Chardonnay, my God, pounding that in a fucking, a local fucking cafe, by the way. Everybody knows who you are. By the way, Carrie Tate, was that Sharon Tate's unborn baby? and the name the name was available. That's what she had to tell Adam Arkin in the middle of this. It's my Adam Arkin impression. It's pretty good. I love, yeah, I do love that moment when, because you're totally right, Chris,

because it's not really, they serve alcohol, but not a lot. You know what I mean? The restaurant they're at, they're like, oh, okay, we do kind of have white wine, I guess. They've had this same bottle of Chardonnay with like the cork stuck back in it since like two weeks prior. when tourists came through town and ordered booze. And she's doing this move where Alan Arkin goes to the bathroom. And she's like, she has a white wine in front of because she knows he's counting what she's got. He's a drink counter.

Yep. So she's like, okay, when he goes to the bathroom, he starts to patty, get me another short name now. And the guy's like, what? She's like, no, God damn it. It's kind of great because she's like, can I have another shardin' name, please? And they cut to a shot of the waiter looking down at the glass in her hand. And she goes, today. You can just imagine her being like,

I'm going to hold up my hand and I'm going to count to five on my hand in the second glass better be here by the time we hit 10. Or else we're talking grottis. Yeah, 2% tip. This was, you know, this was a Michael Myers movie

on the edge of the millennium. And you can fucking smell it. You got Josh Hartnett in this movie. Introducing. Yeah, man. Introducing Josh Hartnett with LL Cool J after that. Totally. Also introducing Josh Hartnett's unibrow.

He didn't quite have under control. This is the worst haircut. It's a bad one. It looks like Huey Dewey and Louie put together. Like this like weird. It's a duckhead situation. This was the 40 days and 40 nights look still too. Girls went crazy for this.

Oh, for sure. Went nuts for it. I can't say he's too stupid because it worked. I will say he's not bad in this movie. The faculty's the same year. the problem with him was like he did have an intensity and an edge to him but like that was kind of it like it was just one speed and you got tired of it and then he never capitalized on it like Keanu Reeves did a bunch of stuff to broaden his range Josh Hartnett did nothing you know where I think yeah you think he went wrong Pearl Harbor oh yes of course yeah he shouldn't have fought for the Japanese and yeah that was the mistake movie the movie I was thinking of Sin City when he tried to kind of become a different guy yes in that? I barely remember him in that. He's in the

cold open of Sin City. Oh, okay. Wow, really? I know that because I remember watching so much fucking DVD material because that's what Robert Rodriguez was a proof of concept thing. He was him and I want to say Marley Shelton and like it's a weird

cold open. It's like, we could do this it'll look like this and blah blah blah and it made the movie anyway. Am I recalling correctly the DVD of Sin City, whatever special edition? You could watch the green screen version? I don't know about that. Because that whole movie is just green screen.

And I think this is the case. You could watch like the exact cut of the film, all the same scenes and all the same order, but it was just green screen. If this is true, I think that should be a commentary track for us. Oh, definitely. The green out. The green out version.

God, now I don't want to waste time on the air looking it up, but I think, I think that exists. We'll look into it. I mean, but Josh Hartman, has he ever been like a great movie like something that really is like I think the faculty is the best movie he's ever been in which is not fun as fuck

but it's not saying a tonne. I never find that movie so boring. Yeah. Really? I like never cared for it. But but that's the man honestly might be it. You're right. He's actually pretty good in Rathaway. Substantial role in that motion. Yeah. Yeah. And he got a moustache in that I think. I believe so.

He plays like the like a very nervous guy like it's it's it's And he actually does, he pulls it off. I thought he was very effective in his scenes. I always love the top, the IMDB top four, what they're known for. Sure. It's always, it's always a fascinating ride.

Not this, apparently, which I would put him there. I'd put this on my top four, yeah. Lucky number Sleven, which Andrew and I saw in theater. I still haven't. 30 days of night, which Chris and I saw at the theater. The faculty, which I didn't know anybody yet. And then the Black Dahlia. Wow.

I guess that's the biggest director. director he's working. That's true. I saw the Black Dahlia super hungover downtown. I think I was there with you. This was, yeah, this was the... We did a double, we did a double bill with Beer League. Yes, and I was super hungover. We saw Black Dahlia first. I felt like fucking garbage. I thought I was the one that was bifurcated and left in the field. As De Palma intended, a double feature with Beer League for sure. But then we went, we saw

Beer League, and I laughed so fucking hard in that movie. By the end of it, the hangover was gone. Well, that's nice. Well, you know, yeah, I am. I'm a big Artie Lang fan, actually. I think he's got a lot of energy on screen. Ever since I saw the Babe Watch sketch on my favorite sketch comedy show,

Mad TV, Babe Watch. He was a pig, remember? I don't give a fuck. And fuck George Lucas. Fuck you doing this interview. I originally thought he would be, honestly, I'd be perfect as the Antonio Banderas character in Femphital. I thought he thought. he would really bring something new to the genre,

but, you know. I think for insurance reasons, you couldn't hire him around then. Femm Fidel, I've seen the opening of that movie a lot. The rest of it, not so much. Oh, yeah, I forgot. Yeah, yeah. So Halloween H-2-0, can I get this title?

Yes, it's very dull. It's about water? Water. Water. Yeah. It's about water? I think it's telling, it was sending a message into the future to me now

that was like, you got to smoke weed watching this movie. Because it's like, I guess it's supposed to be short for Halloween 20? Or Halloween anniversary. 20 years later. It's the idea. But it's like you have to do one.

It's either Halloween H2O or Halloween 20 years later. You can't this like Halloween H2O and then the colon 20 years later. The title originally was Halloween 7 The Revenge of Laurie Strode, which kind of rules. That's way better. It's something.

I like the naming convention of the new ones. Halloween kills, Halloween ends. That's something. They should have made a sequel to Career Opportunities 2 years later and called it Career Opportunities CO2. Yeah, this movie, I don't know, like it's, it's kind of okay, but it also kind of sucks shit. It's a weird gray area of both kind of being cool and kind of suck in a dog's ass. You're absolutely right. It never drags.

No, it doesn't. It's 804 minutes. I mean, it moves. It's like a TV episode with that. Run time. But I think there's episodes of Sopranos that are longer than this. Absolutely, there are.

But I think that's why it's so easy to watch is because there's literally no fact to this thing whatsoever. Which is also the problem. I think because alcoholism is mentioned. We're not doing that. I love that. Josh Hartner, they do the whole thing with Josh Hartnett

like he's your son and they have this really tumultuous relationship. He drives out of the movie. You never see that fucking kid again. Which I appreciate. There's two things that are great. I mean, like, I really think the end of this movie is kind of fun.

It is. And I love the fact that the screenplay or in the editing room, however it happened, was wise enough to be like, look, this is Jamie Lee Curtis's return to this franchise after not doing any of these sequels after Halloween 2. It's got to be about her. And the end of this movie is like, get the fuck out of here, kids. This is fucking Jamie Lee's movie. And she gets to do it. And the end of the movie, like, it's a last shot with her. I mean, I'm getting ahead of myself here. But like, it's just her. The kids are. are nowhere to be found. Love it. Look, we're going to rewrite all this shit eventually, but enjoy it for now.

Okay. If that's the case that she don't have the kids at all, maybe she's just like a, you know, a drunk teacher. You know what I mean? You gotta have somebody to kill, though. But that's a problem also. Nobody gets fucking killed in this movie. Michael Myers is just walking by people for half the movie. Oh, it's a mother and a little girl. Goodbye. Yeah. Hi, L. Cool J. Talk to you never again. Not only that, there were so many shots of him that don't actually exist because they turn out to be fake outs. Yes. Yeah. It's like, oh,

he's walking towards me. Oh, it's my boyfriend. This nonsense thing, where that is happening to multiple characters, come on. I get, I get, if you want to do it for Lori, because she's like, the whole, this whole movie is about her, like, still not dealing with the trauma of

the events in the 70s, and she's, like, hiding out. She's changed her name to Carrie Tate, which is weird. They're in Northern California, which also a Halloween movie taking place a no cow very strange. Is that Halloween 3? Is that in California? That's also no calpon.

They should have been some tie-in. They should have been a nod. Maybe she works at the fucking toy factory. She's not a teacher. She's just on an assembly line making toys. It's like nomad land. Yes, exactly. Lori Strode's just shitting in a bucket.

I mean, I would have, if that happened to me when I was 17 years old, 20 years later, I'm shitting in a bucket. I think the Lori Strode of the. 2018 and on movies, the David Gordon Green movies. That Laurie strode shit in Bucket. Oh, for sure. Survivalist Lori. Oh, yeah. She's drank her piss, for sure.

Off-coiled it first, but yeah, yeah, yeah. She did the whole thing. Because you never know if Michael Myers is going to start working at the water plan. But I understand at least him not wanting to come up to L.O. Cool, Jek, because, I mean, what a talent. I mean, around the way, girl, it's just a wonderful classic. Just imagine Mike being like, oh, my God.

Could I, could I have your autograph? Oh, don't reject me, please. God. L.L. Cool J. It's me. Lunatics love Cool J. One time my sister. I love the Deep Blue C song. There is a hilarious picture of my sister in L.L. Cool J. She was waiting for a bus. He was apparently the nicest dude in the world. But whoever took this picture, it looks like a fucking prom photo. It's two of them. They're just like very, very happy together. It's fucking hilarious. And to confirm he was not also waiting for the bus, was he?

No, he's driving it. he's like all right no it's nice talking to you lady that'll be a buck 50 yeah I do this once a month just to keep myself humble hi everybody I gotta tell you I cannot bring myself to watch those NCIS where the fuck he's on Los Angeles I think sure but to prove to you like

how electric I think this man is I love LL Cool J he participated in some dip shit bit at the Emmys a few weeks ago now when this airs this is like a month and a half ago where he was like rapping for a hot second and it was electric Folks, I was tuned into that

TV. It was a stupid bit with Cedric the entertainer and fucking Rita Wilson rapping and whatever else. Do the Beavis and Butthead song! Doing it and doing it and doing it. Come on, L.L. Yeah, so we start, it's, I mean,

like, also, biggest problem and this is something that we can't help. You know, Donald Pleasins died at the end of the fucking fiasco. I mean, that's the thing is like, No matter what, this movie's not a fucking fiasco, like part six. A total disaster. He dies at the end of that and they had to like film around that.

That's the Paul Rudd one. Yes. The Paul Rudd one was supposed to continue in this one. Of course, but it was too much of a fucking fiasco. It was also, but did you read the like synopsis of what it was supposed to be? It's essentially hot fuzz. Yes. They're going to do hot fuzz with Mike Myers.

Oh, that's dumb. Well, because of the stupid cult at the end of the town was the town. Oh, yeah. was all in on it? Dumb as donkey dick, ladies and gentlemen. But Donald Pleasins is dead. Loomis isn't in this. You can't, in my opinion, having a Mike Myers movie without, Michael Meyer

in his movie without, without, um, without Loomis is like, uh, fucking Laurel without Hardy. You need him both. You need that. You need that dude. It's a great comedy duo, but a lot of laughs over the years with those two. They should, I mean, if the technology was there, would you accept a Tarkin town of Donald Yeah, because it's just Donald Pleasant. I don't give a fuck.

It's kind of, like, that's a tempting one. They kind of do it in this movie. Oh, dude, that guy sucks shit. He totally sucks. And so, like, after the cold open, which we need to talk about because there's some hilarious shit in there. But, like, the opening, like, credits, there's a montage of Donald Plet, like, Dr. Loomis's crazy fucking Pepe Silvio board.

And it's just like looking, all of these fake photographs, by the way, of death's not in any of the previous movies. And it's a dude doing a Donald Pleasant's impression of like old lines of dialogue because they couldn't get the unmastered audio from the movie. Do you know who it is? It's the guy who voices Yoda in Star Wars the Clone Wars.

Tom Kane, this guy who has been in a bunch of shit. Massive voice actor tons in like the video game world or whatnot. Speaking of golden toilets, he's got to have one. But it's not good is the problem. No, it's really bad. I think we might come closer. There should be a W. of Halloween H-2-O.

You call it Halloween H-2-O-W-HM. And it's just us doing the Donald Pleasance. And then everything else is just the same. Has he been smoking in the afterlife? What is it was it? Absolutely. I love, because that's the thing is like fucking, Loomis is like fucking Myers' height man.

He comes like, oh shit. The sick shit's about to drop. Close your fucking doors. It's happening, bitches. He's coming to your town. You're going to want. tickets. You don't want to get sold out motherfucker! I mean, you're right

though, this is weird. But here's a question though, let me ask you this. Because while I really, really, really like that David Gordon Green 2018 Halloween, the thing that I think is fucking terrible is this like fake Dr. Loomis character? So what is preferred? A movie, a Halloween movie without Dr. Loomis or a Halloween movie

where you've got some Eastern European Dr. Nick Riviera Answer A. I'm going to tell you right now. It's answer A. Yeah, dude, you're right. Or Malcolm McDowell. Get him back. He was evil, Loomis, which was interesting. Yes. I kind of liked, I mean, it's one element too many in a movie that has way too much going on in it to begin with. That's the problem. I don't mind it. It's just sort of like it's a different corner.

I was kind of into it. But it was just sort of too much. He doesn't last long either. So it is kind of what's the point at the same time. Totally. Yeah. He's murdered like halfway through the movie. I think he's got like two scenes. Yeah, it's nothing good. My favorite thing about the Pepe Sylvia board is in the middle of, you've been haunted by this fucking black-eyed bastard for fucking all this time. And in the center of it, you just have this sketch of his face. Like, you want to be reminded of that every time I walk in.

I'm like, this guy's been in your head all the time. You just have a little sketch here. I see him when I close my eyes to sleep. Here is a picture of Michael and I in an Italian restaurant. It was my birthday. I went to the Jersey Shore and got a caricature of me and Michael riding swan boots. Also got the best meatball hero I've had in my life. Mater T, you do not have enough chicken cutlets when Michael Myers walks in this door.

Do you understand me? Maita T. Michael, take off your jumpsuit. I have to paint you. You're so beautiful with your blackest eyes. paint me like one of your French patients Michael was in the shower and I had to start drawing

I took my cast off like the movie as good as it gets No it's your sadness I too drive a hip red convertible But yeah so the movie starts with this nurse She's not anybody right

She's of course She's the nurse from the first film She's in the first two, I believe. Yeah, that's why she comes to the second one, that's true. And she's somehow coming back for Halloween kills. This is a different timeline. This is a different timeline. It's very different.

Same character. Yeah, no, but it's interesting because 2018 Halloween does exactly what this movie does, except 2018 Halloween also adds in this movie, which is that in Halloween H-2O, it's Halloween 78, Halloween 281, and then H-2-8. So that character is still alive. With the Gordon Green, it's Halloween 78, 81, and then

28. No, no, not anyone. Because they're not brother and sister. It's just howl. It's a directing. I mean, right. I mean, talk to Dr. Strange. He'll put this all in perspective for me. You totally right. 78 to 18. So the character is still alive. So it's a fascinating

thing where she was killed in one timeline. But now that's not canon. So the character's alive again. Oh, hey. Oh, hey, Peter. Are you getting mildly bullied at school? me just reset the entire fucking timeline in my hooded sweatshirt or whatever that movie looks not very good what movie is this uh the the new spider man where it oh right right right you know what i'm gonna disagree with you all right very no we'll see um but man what a swiss cheese like timeline did like Picard keep fucking up or something god damn it cue you're fucking with michael

Myers again? Oh, no, I entered the ribbon at the wrong place. Now Halloween's four, five, and six never happened. Well, no great loss, Mr. Data. They're all directed by George Sumacher now. Damn. I got to see those. Can we get to that dimension, too? Wow, look at Michael Myers are wrecked nipples. Oh, no. I went to the ribbon again, and now Halloween two didn't happen? Are you sure about that, Steve? Yes, because they're not brother and sister. very specifically, which is why I like that

because I've kind of never liked that reveal anyway. She's just, she's just Lori Strode and he's Michael Myers. Okay, it's been a while since I watched the 18 one. Got it. Because I think apparently it is a deleted scene or something in the first movie. If you watch, because, man, so

I had the first one, the second one, and this one, H2O, all on standard death back in the day. I've seen this movie close to probably 25 times. times. Okay. Went through all them features and whatnot. Where was I going with this, though? The brother, oh, because in the, there was a standard deaf DVD that was a release by Anchor Bay.

It was a two-disc thing. One was the theatrical cut on one DVD and then the television cut on the other DVD, but they didn't, it was like to cut out nudity and shit, but like the DVD didn't cut out the nudity. It just added the scenes that they added for TV. And one of them is Donald Pleasins goes into the high school. And

they find in a classroom, I think it's supposed to be the classroom Lori was in earlier in the day because he was looking at her through the window. It scrawled on the chalkboard like sister. Oh. Across it, if I'm remembering correctly. So that was like they added that in which was kind of neat. That's pretty cool. But I'm not, you're right though. I was never crazy about it either. It's better if it's like, it's just a psychopath. Yes. He was back in the old neighborhood. You're a babysitter that he was obsessed with and he wanted to fucking kill.

He killed everybody else. Yeah. Slam dunk. Don't got to do anything else. We can all relate to that story. stories. Of course. But so it's this nurse and she's going to check it on Dr. Loomis and he's been burglarized. So she No, no, no, no. It's her house. Oh, it's her house. Dr. Loomis is

dead. Oh, God. She was his nurse. She was his nurse like attending to him like at the end of his game. Got it. So she's got all the Loomis memorabilia like Planet Hollywood. Definitely. Because when this is my Loomis room, don't. Well, she does have a loomis room. Everybody take your shoes off or go in the Loomis room.

Because that's what, when Joseph Gordon Leavitt, who's in this movie, is like, oh, by the way, yeah, they went through your office. She goes, my office, it's Loomis's house, Loomis's office. JGL is in this, and he gets dispatched quite quickly. Did you say Kevin Williams? I had something to do this? Yeah, he should do. Interesting.

Interesting that you get a big star and you kill him right in the first act like that. It would be interesting that a Kevin Williamson thing would do that. He's uncredited, but man, is he everywhere in this movie? the Dawson stuff alone Like all the Just like the snap The talky talk snappy snap Dialogue with the teenagers

Oh you've got an edible fetish for your mom Babe and it's like I get it fucking Kevin Williamson I got it He doesn't have a writing credit on this No although he's just a producer right But he did a lot of rewrites And he did the story I think too

Yeah Do you know who Because he's got a buddy You recognize his other guy No The other guy is it's a year or the same year this came out he's friends with Seth Green and can't hardly wait

he's the dude that uses the N-word and that gets chased out of the party all right yeah man that fucking guy the more prominent of Seth Green's squad there yeah because it's like it's him that guy and then I think there's a third guy you know what's up and you know

and then it's like they do the record scratch and yeah hey mama I book two second guy roles this year I don't know I'm not Third guy, Ma. One's a lot more work than the other one. We should also mention this is Langdon, Illinois now. For some reason, taking place in a different Illinois town.

I am going to Langdon. It is honestly, Haddonfield is a disaster with the roads. It's a nightmare. Dr. Loomis is looking to move out of Haddonfield. We find a nice three-bedroom place somewhere down the road. He wants to stay close to Haddonfield to work, he says. So we're going to try his best. Yes, I would love to live in a place where I don't have to do much renovated.

And also, it's close to downtown. His must-haves include a big office for charts about murderers. What are the property taxes around this place? Ooh, I don't like these walking closets. You call this a kitchen? Yes, I know I can change out the wallpaper when I buy it. Yeah, you could put some pain up there. It's not, it's cosmetic.

I guess this nurse would be, I guess this nurse would be. his other, his wife sort of, like, it's always when like, it's a single person their friend comes along. Yep. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who's like really like, this is like Third Rock of the Sun era. That's, I mean, that show started

probably like 97, 96, something like that. So he's like got that going on. You know, and his introduction, you guys haven't even mentioned. He's revealed in a hockey mask. It's a little bit of a tongue and cheek. Yeah. Yep, you're totally right. She comes home and she finds the door is slightly ajar.

And, you know, I think somewhere in this character's mind, she's like, Michael Myers has finally come for me. It's just kind of like, ah, shit. And she goes around the back, like, ready to accept her fate. The introduction of this whole thing is very odd. We got Mr. Sandman playing, like, the 1950s tune. She's driving, like, an older car, but it's contemporary. Maybe this is my, maybe it was a, maybe the 90s cars look old,

and I'm just fucking with myself. It's a nod to part two because part two starts with Mr. Sand. And I only know that because I just watched it like literally yesterday. This also has a lot of weird cars in it. The mother we're about to see in the daughter. She has the high tension van. Dude, I don't know what this is. This Elliot Ness car. She's striking around.

Oakey looking for some work. Dude, this car is insane. I think I saw the three stooges drive this car one time. Speaking of the three stooges. Fucking Michael Myers in this movie, his walk, it's like either a brisk mall walker or it's like Larry Fine or something.

Dude, he's kind of like hunched over with his shoulders this dude is terrible at playing Michael Myers. And apparently he was uncredited playing the body of ghost face and Scream 2. So I guess that's a nod as well when they play Scream 2 in the movie.

But he's not, yeah, he's got no presence of like, and you need that, like the grovee toss. Not even at Christmas? God damn you. Or maybe Hanukkah? Nothing? Nothing for this guy? Hey-oh! Tap, tap, tap.

but so like Joseph Gordon Levitt's like I'm gonna go in there and check it out man dude and this is like him trying to be all tough in this house like Mikey's got suspended three times for getting a little crazy with my hockey stick I'm like dude you are not intimidating anyone least of all Michael Myers Michael Myers who must have come into this house and like gone into a filing cabinet and like this is all mess we didn't know for but anything. Why is it by last name or first name? What the fuck? It is kind of, I know I'm a part two defender and I haven't seen that in a while. But like just seeing Michael Myers like driving around and like reading. It's fucking weird. The driving is specifically really strange to me. He drives a cross country. It's like he's Don Draper going for a thought parade. The thing that's stuck in my head is fucking Mike Myers had to stop and gas up a car. And this is stuck in my head. I'm like, how, How did not be like, what is it? I guess late at night or does he taste the mask off?

In the first one, he's driving. That's how he gets from the facility. So he is known to drive, but not this much. I agree. A long cross-country road trips to touch much. He's got a map house? Yeah. I mean, I think in the first movie, it's probably like an hour commute.

Yeah, and driving is easy. Any moron can do it. It's fast stop. Oh, you're trying to kill someone over in Glenn Glover. California. So you want to make a left down at the left out of the tannery plant there.

Now, if you hit the ocean, you've gone too far. Now, if you're looking to kill somebody, you just run them over with this vehicle. It would really do just as much as your nap. Oh, Martha, sweetest man just came by asking for directions. That the blackest eyes like the devil's eyes

himself. Sweet man, though. Sweet, sweet man. Can we mention how stupid it is that Dr. Lumis, I guess, has the witness protection information in his office? Why does he know where? Why does he know the new name and where she were? That's a mistake.

I mean, because correct me if I'm wrong, I don't know if they might not explicitly say that, but how else does Michael Myers know where to fucking go? That's the thing that her folder is empty. So he's taking all the contents. Yep. Which has her information, which like,

that's the last motherfucker I want to have my new information. Dr. Loomis should like have all that shit burned as his last like will. Hey, Sam, lose my number, dude. You keep fucking with this guy. I have the good grace To move to the other side of the country You should go back to England And leave this dude alone

Yeah But how will I know Where to mail your Christmas card, Lori? Oh sorry, Kerry No, you're Carrie now Totally love the new name And the haircuts fucking great Man, yeah

I mean this was still like 1990s Like short hair Jamie Lee I mean she still got short hair now But yeah Oh yeah It's working this like red dye job Absolutely so Joseph Gordon-Lev goes to this whole fucking house

does not get killed and like this is when my fucking orange flag is going up like what the fuck are we doing here and then we cut back and he's got a hockey skate in his face and I'm like I would have liked to see that I paid money for this dumb movie well get ready for more off-screen kills

everybody loves him I just don't get it because it's like you know what people are buying a ticket for. Let's show that shit. The new movie's called Halloween Kills. This one should have been Halloween off-screen kills. Yes, Eric. That would have been a great title. I think

that would be, David Gordon Green be like, how about? If we say off-screen kill, we just, we redo the whole series and we just get new titles for them. It's another thing that I love about that 2018, man, that is a brutally violent movie. It sure is. It's a fucking great. That guy at the desk with the fucking smashed

in. That destroyed. me when I first saw it. Dude, the little fucking weirdo friend that gets like propped up on the fence. Yeah, he gets it bad. I got to re-watch one and done with that. Oh, really? I want to rewatch it before I do the new one. But like, but that's, because the first movie is fucking brutal, right?

That's the whole, that's what you've set up. It's like this like real, this fucking maniac big-handed killer that's fucking strangling and choking and stab it and poking. Not a lot of gore in that first movie. But at least like, blood. Yes. But yeah, you are strangling. but like to show it off screen you then you just have this dude

the mask I'm sorry he looks like John fucking void in this movie I'm sorry it's an awful mask The mask has like well there's multiple masks in the movie first of all including one that I couldn't spot it at the time But apparently there's just a 100% CGI mask at one point

But there's one of the masks Has like shading on it So he's got like jaw bones And like other facial features He looks like a fucking police sketch And there's terrible And then there's the one where it's like the eye holes are so big and you just see his big old eyebrows of the actor. Yes.

And I think that guy even had like blue eyes or green eyes. It was not black. It was not the devil's eyes. They're very alive. Those eyes were very alive. He looks like the fucking boyfriend Steve from Full House under that thing. Say, honey, I was watching Ray Donovan the other day. It's the damnedest thing.

Mike Myers is in that show. He's playing. You have Shriver's father. It's really strange. Looking great though. I got to be honest. in the jacket. In the jacket. JGL has a shitty thing where he

steals a bunch of beers from this old alcoholic nurse. Sure. And then like gets spooked at one point and fucks up her kitchen. And like that's the gag when he leaves is like, oh, there's no one in the house. But he like, I mentioned this line already. Like he got into your office. Oh, and

yeah, he also, uh, they messed up your kitchen really bad. Totally weird. Bye. That's like supposed to be funny. But, yeah, so he gets murdered. She ends up, like, she thinks he's in the house. So she goes to Joseph Gordon-Levis out. Anyone else notice that there's a fucking, a mannequin of Butterball?

What? Butterball's hanging out at the fucking, on the front porch. Yes. Oh, at Joseph Gordon-Levice house? Yeah, it's like a Halloween decoration. Oh, I missed it. But that's, I mean, I was going to point out, his house is impacably decorated for Halloween. I miss Butterball, though.

That's too bad. That must have been, like, a lot of deep cuts. Like, he has, like, the vampire specifically. from John Carpenter's vampires like that butterball not even pinhead I think it was a thing at the time because this is a dimension films movie I want to say

Hellraiser was getting put out by dementia at the time so that's kind of like a cheap I know there was New World I think did three but maybe it was both of them I have no idea maybe they took them back I don't know well three

three was like what like super early 90s? Yeah probably yeah yeah you know what we're doing now, like in 98, we're like in space or something, right? In the Hellraiser? Bloodline, yeah. We're about at Bloodline. Bloodline is the one where it's in space for part of it, but that's

also the one. It's like time traveling. Through space, I think. But Adam Scott is like a like a 13th century French dandy in that movie. Yeah, the closest one to this release is Bloodline in 96. And then there won't be another Hellraiser to 2005.

Hell in World. Yeah, I've seen them all. all. I've seen them all. It's incredible that somehow they've kept both Freddie and Mike from Mars. Yeah. All the other ones have gone to like some space thing. Dude. And here's how you do.

Holy shit. You just inspired a great idea for a movie, Chris. A new Nightmare and Elm Street movie. One of the astronauts is a kid from Elm Street. Nice. And they go up there. Oh, yeah. That's all you needed to do. That's on the Ben Horizon shit. What are you? He goes to sleep.

Yeah. Yeah. Spacecraft. Freddie, Freddy. Yeah, he's there. Oh, like, maybe you could play with the, like, putting people under for a long voyage type of thing. Oh, shit. And they can't wake up, the computer won't do it. Yeah.

Ooh. These are good ideas. And then they just land. And then the dead craft lands on, like, a Prometheus planet. And it's like, oh, oh. I'm all alone. And those big white guys have, like, strong dreams that he can't fuck with. It would be funny if they, like, they, like,

they give them the like high powered like space knockout drugs and like Freddy's like here I oh oh okay this is some strong shit oh okay Freddy needs to sit down how you doing anyway I didn't do astronaut training my old body temperature's way fucking off I'm pretty nauseous I'm going to be honest with you my vomit might be people I apologize this is too many geez by the way bloodline was dimension films. There it is. But yeah, I don't know. So he kills Joseph Gordon Leavitt off screen. This other kid falls out of a closet presumably killed. That's awesome. He's got a knife in his back. He's definitely dead. But he, Mike Myers, does pick up for the nurse, the butcher knife,

which I do think what he does that in his head is like, gonna go classic with this one. Yeah, just this one, just play in the old hits. Yeah, I remember you from the late 70s lady. Yeah. He He accidentally takes out, like, the grill fork. He's like, oh, fuck. This isn't going to work. Too late now. Better try.

Okay, I'll go back and get the other one. He's rooting through a silverware drawer. Where's the good one? This kitchen's really unorganized. And he cuts her throat and then, you know. She has a, I've always loved the hell. God damn. Nice on-screen death.

Yes, the first one, welcome to the movie. And at least two guys are talking about Halloween, the two detectives. It was the one guy on mad TV Something like that. The one cop I think that guy was on mad TV. Is it a comedic actor The last thing he says like Michael Meyer's still alive? Like that'll ever happen and he closed

the door. Dude it's even worse. It's Yeah, right. It's so bad. That line and then every single time they mention that it's 20 years after the first incident which is like four or five times in the movie

boy I know I'm you fucking called it Halloween H2O I know what I'm here for I want the montage of Mike driving because I just did the math on my phone it's a day and a half or day in seven hours to drive from Chicago to San Francisco so that's that's a long it's yeah I mean yeah I mean like no stops Mike you know what I mean like see and that's there's an interesting movie there dude possibly directed by like Jarmish or something oh hell yes it's like this fucking it's all the scenes are only at night and it's him on this road trip. And every gas station he comes across, he's killing the intended. It's him

and a few people that broke out of prison, the asylum with him. Roberto Benini, Tom Waits. Yes. Every time he's drinking coffee, just has like the mask up to like right above his lips. Yep. Oh, man. And he's smoking through it. Come on, Michael Myers. Ice creamer. You a screamer.

We all a scrimmer for ice cream. Boy, everybody loved Roberto Benini's three minute role in that Jim Jarmer's Michael Myers movie. He's certainly dispatched with that character quickly. oh man I would love it and then at the end

like they accidentally like to thwart Michael Myers once and for all they make him get on a flight to like Budapest or whatever everyone's like well that's that he's hungry's problem now

but yeah I just want to him drive in you know shaving on the road kind of thing you gotta look your best when you're gonna go kill your sister he's shaving the mask like little plastic bits

are falling off of it white shaving cream on the white mask. John Lurie is next to him being like, you know, you have to actually, you know, shave your face. Of course. Stupid idiot. Fucking mask. So, yeah, Michael Myers.

Yeah, right. Then this is the montage of the Pepe Silvio board. And then we open up in, she's having a nightmare. This is the first, Jamie Lee's having a nightmare about Michael Myers being around. And there's like a, it's her.

office. She's like the headmistress of this private school. And it's like a framed photo of Josh Hartnett with a knife like sticking up through it. Pretty great. And we get right away, I mean, her first line in this movie is that famous fucking scream queen scream. Like she's

really belting it out. And Josh Hartening comes in and it's like, you I'll get to your pills, mom. I think we even get like a shot of a clock changing over to October 31st. Like it's ground on dead. Wake up. The month is ready to start

The Pennsylvania Poka Well, I don't know What we've been told But Halloween is coming And it's cold You know what the tagline For this movie was

The tagline Because I watch both TV spots And I looked at the poster today Because this movie was Inexplicably Released this summer The The tagline is

This summer Terror doesn't take a vacation I got an idea Maybe release your file. I have one idea as to when you could have released this movie. One season you'd want to release a Halloween movie. That's a good tagline for I still know what you did last year. Yes, exactly.

Yep. You're absolutely right. I'd remember the summer thing because this was actually the first Halloween movie I've ever seen. Yes, me too. I had seen the original before this. And I saw the original after this and I saw this because I had a little crush on Michelle Williams. And I was like, oh, this is good. This is supposed to be good.

People are talking about this. Michelle Williams in this movie. Chelsea was doing the production math last night. This was made like before Dawson's Creek went into production. That's weird. I didn't know she did movies that didn't have venom in them. I thought she was only doing venom. Steve, you're talking about venom, bum, venom, venom, venom. She was in Venom one and now she's in Venom 2. Oh, no, that's not what it's called.

Oh, Venom let they recarnage. Oh, right. There we go. Is she in other films that don't have venom in them? She played Marilyn Monroe once. Oh, okay. Is venom in that? I think so. Wait, there's... They dated for a while.

There's... Venom by the sea. Windy and Lucy and Venom. Oh, right. Yes. That's a big one. I want to eat your dog. Certain Venoms. Certain Venoms.

Blue Valentine Venom. That's a sad one. It's a sad. You wanted Michelle Williams and Venom to work it out so bad in that movie, but that marriage just isn't going to last. After the venom. Ooh. Yeah, I don't got.

anymore. Someone said Manchester by the Venom already? It was a Venom by the sea last time. Last time we did that joke two minutes

ago. But yeah so I mean it's I mean like and I think Hartnett's okay he puts on his school shirt

you can fit all four of these fat podcasters of that school shirt man what are we doing? It's a big shirt. I hate it. I hate the idea

of school uniforms. I thought he was supposed to be playing like a young David Byrne when I saw him. Well, the dumbest thing is... Mom, I've got a tape I want to play you, okay? It's a song called

Get the fuck over your alcoholism. I just hate the like... I mean, I'm sure this, you did this in your private school, Steve, but like, when you're kind of anti-uniform you wear it kind of fucked up to be cool. Yeah, you wear it a little fuck. You wear it a little jarred.

A little jar. A little jar. A little jar. big shirt. You sort of loosen your little tie there. The cover of the basketball diaries, Leonardo. Oh, yeah. So that was about Steve. That was never

heroin thin. No. But you always did obsess about shooting your classmates. The pizza and movies diaries. But yeah, so he wants to go on this camping trip to Yosemite, which is a school sanctioned field trip, by the way. Sure. We should mention

it takes place in summer glen in California. I didn't look it up. I don't know if it's real or not, but I like how it's like 20 years later, and it's like Michael Myers has to thwart all these gated communities. Well, we've been waiting for that for you, for one of these

guys, go after a gated community. Any of your major... Hellraiser even. Get him in the fucking suburbs. Excuse me, the pool is closed at this time of night, and then like some old neighbor gets butchered. Yeah, just get Jason in the villages. We'll be all set here, fellas. Please, yeah, do it. Mr. Voorhees, your doorstep does not

appeal to the coat. Oh, you cut my head off. Oh, okay. Mr. Vorhees, yeah, the lawn is a little long. I'll be honest with you. I know it's been a week and maybe it's grown a little longer, but could you get it out there? Oh, good. He's getting his machete to cut the lawn. Excellent. I love that he's not just killing people there. He's living. Oh, he doesn't move in. Oh, yeah, he moved right in. And then it enacts my father's dream of killing all the neighbors. My dad, not a fan of neighbors. I ever tell you about the time we moved into a new house, neighbors came next door to greet their new neighbors and whatnot,

literally next door neighbors. We literally had to live next door to these people after this happened. And the parents are talking and they're like, oh, you know, you have older, you know, older kids, you know, we have younger kids. Oh, it'll be great. You know, maybe sometime, you know, your kids could baby. said our kids my father nope closed the door

we had to live next door to those people for years that sucks that's crazy you know speaking of neighbors I got this little turn of events in my life that's not very interesting but I'll tell everyone about it anyway is when I moved into where I live

now all my neighbors would completely ice me whenever I said like hello or whatever and I think it's just like I'm too young to live there maybe I don't have children so it's weird. He's too young to say hello too. Now that they've seen me around for like six years, all these people are trying to say

hi to me and it feels so fucking good just to Michael Myers, Iso. Don't even fucking register you existing. You fucking burn me once. I will burn you forever. I love it. That story made me a little hard. That's going to be on your tombstone. Oh, just like when

people try to talk to you and you just fucking shut it down. It's so good. I don't have the guts, dude. I do not have the guts. No shock there. This is the Hillcrest Academy High School, we're told. Sure. Which implies there's a Hillcrest Academy

like grade school to which I say, how about there's like 10 minutes of this movie where Michael's accidentally on the wrong campus? Oh, that'd be nice, right? Yeah, get some of those little bastards out of here, you know? Oh, you could like a little girl runs up and says tag you're at to Michael Myers.

And then he tags everyone back. Dude, I just saw it was something that was posted on like Instagram Oh, actually, Jamie Lee shared it on Instagram. It was a TikTok video. Someone posted, they were like, our daughter loves Michael Myers, and

he appeared at her birthday party. And the video is like some, like, suburb cul-de-sac-looking thing. The Halloween song starts playing. This tiny little girl, this little, like, five, six-year-old girl starts going apesh because she recognizes

the theme song. And then some crazy bastard across the cul-de-sac. Sack appears out of the bushes dressed as Michael Myers and starts walking slowly towards her. This little girl bolts it for him, jumps into his arms and this guy picks

her up and gives her a hug. Sadistic shit. I love it. That's pretty wild. That's awesome. That little girl's going to grow up to be the next Unabom. That's right, honey. We got you a barbecue fucking birthday party. Guess who's going to cater it? That's right.

Tee! He! He brought the chainsaw to you. Leather was always the best with the cake. Oh, what's a slice? Do you moron, that balloon was for your brother. Oh, the whole gang's here. The fellow with the metal cap. Yeah, we got him too.

Oh, Crop Top. He's definitely attending a child's birthday. That's awesome. Or Chop Top. Yeah, yeah, yeah. but so like she doesn't want him to go because it's Halloween and they have a very loaded conversation where we're giving a lot of exposition about

dad's an addict and she's an addict you know dad would let me go camping I love because he gets a birthday card she's like oh only a couple weeks late that's fucking figures that piece of shit and like this he's like oh it's got cash and later it's like a trigger point because she realized he's 17 and she was 17 which you would have realized

earlier. But I love, I kind of wanted the idea that Michael Myers sent him that card. Like, well, my nephew. Oh, shit. My nephew. Yeah. Also, like, how does. Best wishes. How do you see you soon? How does Michael Myers know this shit? I think it was also in Dr. Loomis's folder. Lori, Lori had a kid on this day. So it's like the idea of like, oh my God, he attacked me when I was 17. He's going to attack my children when they're 17 is just happenstance because he found that Loomis wrote down. that this kid is... Oh, son of a bitch,

almost two decades and back birthday presents. Fuck, better kill him. It's cheaper. All right. How about a $50 check? 5.0 big ones for the boy.

But yeah, I mean, also, like, he kills Joseph Gwynnevitt in Illinois on the 30th. He's got to get his ass to California. You don't want to show up on November 1st, like a jerk off? Totally. I mean, I would love it.

If he gets there November 1st, I guess I have to wait a whole fucking year. Oh. get a job as a janitor somewhere, I guess. I already got the uniform. Should work out. I'll just lay low, rent a cheap apartment on the outskirts. Maybe audition a little bit.

I don't know. Community theater or whatever. You know, just get a start. Maybe I become an electrician. Who knows? I made the Technicolor Dream Code for you, folks. It's made out of people. Oh, no.

I've been working so hard on my acting career and I booked a big commercial and it's on Halloween. God damn it. Oh, my two. Careers colliding in tragedy. Ah! Yeah, so they have this big fucking fight. I don't want you to go to Yosemite. You know what day of the fucking year it is, yada, yada, yada.

It's so weird. You got to give your mother Halloween here, dude. He knows the story because later he's like, Michael Myers is dead mom. I'm like, you got to give your mom Halloween, dude. But what school is having a Halloween camping trip? She's actually helping organize. Yeah.

Yeah. she's in on it. So like, if you don't want to happen, you're the headmistress, be like, nah, we're doing this in mid-November. Exactly. Yeah. It's fucking crazy.

It's fucked up. I was just going to say, though, Steve, you mentioned how he's talking about it and whatnot because, like, she keeps it a secret. Like, she is Carrie Tate in this movie. This is her life, blah, blah, blah. He's flapping his gums to little man Tate

about like, oh, my, fucking serial killer uncle. And I'm like, or I think he says it to Michelle Williams too. I'm like, you're telling everybody. Does L.L. Cool J know the family history? He must. It's like either you have to live in secret and he, the better

screenplay move of all of this is he doesn't know. Yes. And it's like mom, I don't know what the fuck every year around this time you get into these moods and blah, blah, blah, and you get really protective of me. What's going on? Like, it's dumb that he knows. Well, yeah. If L.L. Cool J.

knows, he's definitely telling his wife who's definitely getting the tabloids involved. I'm sorry. The way that this conversation goes back and forth with him. That subplot you could just fucking keep. It's really, really grating. But at the same time, it's like the only moments

of real genuine laughs and levity in a way. Yeah, that's true. Large, voluptuous melon breasts. Oh, yeah. You know, it feels like we've done this episode three times because, because I I think we talked a little bit about it on our resurrection episode.

Sure. And then we did the Halloween rankings episode. And I literally watching this, I was Googling, we ate movies Halloween H2O, just to make sure. That's going to happen. That's the Buster Rhymes one. Yes. You know, we're now over 10 years on the air. One of these days, we're getting older.

We're going to slip up and it's like, oh, fuck, we did that one already. Which is fine. They'll eat it up anyway. And at the last minute, I'm going to be like, we're doing bushwhacked. finally. Yes, we should. But, so, like, he goes off to, and like, the problem, too, is like, the, you don't know if these teens are supposed to be important at all because they're not characters. Like, he's barely a character. He's got something because he's Lori Strode's son.

Little man, Tate, we already talked about as his buddy, uh, Jody Little Keefe from She's All That and Michelle Williams of Venom. All four of them are just like, they have nothing. They're just blank. Usually you like, want them to veer into sex and stuff which I guess they talk about but they don't you never really see anything like that. Little Man Tate should be a nerd. Yeah. Jody Lino Keefe should be nasty. You know,

blah, blah, blah. These things can happen. They just like steal a bottle of booze and it's like that's my character. It's ridiculous that Jody Lino Keeves' character is just with his dweeb. Yeah. Oh, it's so fucking stupid. It's just also strange that Little Man Tate is talking about

fucking nonstop. Also weird. Also very weird. Very strange for me. Well, this is the weird, my question, a bit of a late bloomer. I didn't start dating until I was 31 years old. But did you like in high school, but oh, man, it's going to be awesome. We're all, because they wind up, they're like, oh, you know, if you're not going to go to the trip, no one's going to go on the trip. We'll stay here and we'll all fuck next to it. The little man Tate is planning an orgy.

A fargo sex. Yeah. At least a fargo. I don't think it's an orgy. I think it's Fargo sex. Okay. I definitely agree with you. No, Steve, I didn't do that.

Okay, just check it. Closest I came was one time I woke up after I passed out drunk at a party and a friend was beating off next to me to pornography that was always a fun time. Yeah, one time I woke up without pants on. Just once? Yeah.

Only once. Well, when I go to bed naked maybe, which doesn't, you know, I'm not going to get into my personal life too much. But I was around people and I had no pants on. You weren't expecting to wake up without your pants on. I was expecting to have pants. Okay.

I'm pretty sure one time I got blackout drunk and took my shirt off in a cab and then went into a 7-Eleven shirtless because I, to this day, don't know what happened to that shirt, but I was wearing it when I went to a Russian vodka bar in Midtown Manhattan. So I had a bunch of bruises on my legs, a cut on my arm, and I was worried there was a picture of me behind the register at that 7-1. I think I played beer pong with Southern Comfort that night. Ooh, that'll do it.

Hey, dude. That'll do it. Just death. Yeah. I'll be honest. They have a very horny, romantic Halloween. Josh Hartnett has this whole fucking, like, candles. He's blasting creed trying to make out.

A thousand candles in this weird little janitor's crevasse they found. Dude, it's a real fire hazard, I have to say. And they're all going to fuck next to each other. That's the idea. And like, little mantisels, we're all going to have sex today. It's Josh Hardin. When the babes are riding our D's, we can hide. five each other. And you know what would be cool if we got like the cafeteria food.

I mean, come on, man. You snuck into town. Get some real food. Totally. Like, you're there for provisions, which they really only steal that bottle of booze or whatever. But yeah, like, go to the grocery store. Where are the fucking Cheetos? There's no pizza places in fucking the summer blend? Come on. One thing I have to talk about is, is Michael Myers boosting this car. And this woman takes her daughter to a restroom and I guess Michael Myers

locked the lady's room. We're told this is the famous Highway 139 in California. Yeah, sure. And I guess is this Dodge Charger he's driving died? Is that what happened? Flat tire. There's a shot of like the front

passenger side tire. Of course it would happen right when they got to California. He doesn't even have an iron in the fucking trunk. Fuck. But the noise this little girl makes because she has to pee is like, I wrote it down like fanatically. I don't know if I'm going to do it. It's like a, uh, but there's some R's peppered in short.

And it's like this little girl going, I'll tell you what. Yeah. This mother here, you come to this, this highway restop. The ladies room is closed. The men's room open for business. and there's a broken down car with a fucked up shredded tire let this kid piss in the field

and get on with your dad. Absolutely. No lights in that bathroom either. Excuse me. Also, your fucking, your daughter sounds like Jerry Orbach trying to pass a fucking chilly breakfast omelette. Mom, that's the boys' room. And I mean, like, okay,

then either the mother or the little girl have to be killed here. Like, if we're making a horror movie, he's just like, walking around. Like, this is not the Michael Myers. I know he kills anyone who walks by him. He's steel. So they both take pisses at the same time, which

seemed like a flaw in their plan. And then Michael Myers just takes her purse out from under her. And then gets those keys and leaves. Wallet Inspector. Yeah, I mean, that's why I appreciate they redid this bathroom scene in Halloween 2018. And those

two true crime podcasters are blissfully murdered. Which should happen to every true crime podcaster should be murdered. I'm going to say all podcasters. I think that's the future. We're looking.

Hashtag not all podcasters. You got to start somewhere, Chris. And I think true crime, they need to get their cummuppets. Yeah, yeah. I do think they're the first ones. I'm kind of like the idea of Michael Myers is getting pulled over like three miles

down the road. Last is registration. Your name is Beverly Simpson. Well, sounds like a lady to me. No need to lift up that mask. Have a good day, man. It's Halloween, I guess everyone's entitled to smell like absolute shit.

Death, death itself. That's the thing, right? Like, this lady gets her purse stolen and she's like, what? Someone's in the bathroom? You'd be able to smell that dude before he entered the room. Absolutely. God damn, the dick cheese alone. Because again, he's driving, he has one day to get to California.

He is not stopping to go to the bathroom. pissing and shitting in the car. By the time he gets to this academy, he must be sweating, like he must be in such a fucking break. He must need a shower honestly at that point. It's like cannonball run. He's racing like Roger Moore and fucking Bert Reynolds

and shit. I got to fucking deliver all this New England clam chowder before it's spoils. I would love it if just like he gets out at the fucking academy and he just gets out, stretches the old legs. Oh man. Just like, dude, look at him like, yeah, he's raising his arms like

he's doing the little twists where is the shot here's the thing this is what you could do you don't have to have him killing gas station attendants and whatever I just need a shot of him the side of the road it's at night he's pissing into a bottle

it's a guy in a Michael Myers costume pissing into a bottle and then he like chucks it at a car for fun or something and his dick is huge I will not accept a small you see those hands I didn't even tell you today

I saw a movie in Times Square and I was getting the went down to the A train I was walking right on 8th Avenue 8th Avenue and 42nd Street I go into the subway walking down the steps some dude's got his fucking hog out

not a bad piece and just fucking pissing all over the steps and not homeless no wow I think he even had like a construction vest on oh dude I got to say it's nice to see that 42nd Street

is devolving in to the days of yours. He's just on break from the Chipotle. He just was just to do like I don't know maybe he had worked a construction shift earlier

and he was just taking a fucking mighty grade A meat piss right there on the steps and I was like oh, just walk around that, sir. You enjoy your piss. The last time I saw someone do that

it was in my neighborhood and dude just fucking dick out piss and betwixt two cars and I just go, you fucking animal. he was like this old guy and he was like meh man I saw

I was getting off it was the F train and it was like one of those one of those steps like sometimes you go up you get off the subway you take a

you walk up there's a platform and then you walk up to get out absolutely on that platform this guy was just full on jerk it off

like really and like really making love to himself too like really having a good time taking a compass so I got out and I was like

oh that's something that I was like you know what I want to do I want to go across the street and watch everyone else get out and everyone else kind of like four or five people be like like just like do either

do double takes be disgusted one dude just came up laughing and I'm like this is great I'd live anywhere else to go I'd stay here all day dude that's great you know what Steve that's so fantastic because it's about stopping and acknowledging

the little moments in life exactly it's never going to happen again I hope not they should for like a late night television show. They should just film stuff like that. You could blur it, but we all know what's happening. Put it in like as breaks on like the new 120 minutes. Yes. Just fucking jerk off

and piss videos. It's Matt Pinfield jerking off in the subway station. So Josh Hartnett's like, I'm going to have this romantic evening with my girlfriend, Michelle Williams, who we know nothing about. I mean, we know that she's on scholarship. They try to make her a character, but not really. Don't they try?

Don't they try. And like he's like, I got to go to out of town to get booze and stuff and a present for my lady. So let me just, I'm the fucking headmistress's white shitty son.

Let me put L.L. Cool J's job in jeopardy because I want to have a game. Dude. And you know, here's the thing that, like LL falls for it. I know. And the move is like, okay, like, I mean, LL has all the hand as Ronnie the security guard

in this situation. Because like, what's Josh Hartnick going to do? tell Jamie Lee that the security guard didn't let him off campus like he'll get a commendation he should just shoot him dead tried to escape ma'am

tried to breach the wall I took him out for you but so he goes and like Jamie Lee Curtis is having a romantic adult lunch with Alan Adam Arkham Adam Arkham

Adam Arkin son of Alan two little rich boys Jamie Lee Curtis Right. Absolutely rich boys. Well, one's a rich girl, you see. Oh, yeah, yeah. But, I mean, like, we've talked about that scene, Nazim with the wine and what have you.

But, like, his thing is, which is amazing because he's like, he's like, the school counselor is a real Mr. sensitive guy. He's like, you know, I'm a really good listener. And I'm like, later in this movie, you're absolutely not. So you are overselling the listening part. Totally. Like, he's a really good listener unless his fucking cock has something to say about it.

But this is where Rich little cock She's not She's not outright saying My brother was a serial killer That tried to murder me But she's talking about like You know

I've done 12 stabs Group therapy Community meetings Whatever the fuck Improv I really tried to just get my voice out there By taking some improv classes

That definitely didn't work But my coach said I was good enough For level two Yeah that's interesting You know That lock on that bathroom there we could have some fun in there. I'm a great listener,

especially when you say yes. Adam Arkin. You're so much hotter when I can smell the Chardonnay on your breath. I just spill a little on your blouse. He is hornier than any of these teens in this movie. Absolutely.

I think he has an erection in every scene. Him and Little Man Tate should be getting together on this far. Like Josh Hartnett's not into the Fargo sex so much. Get Little Man Tate and you can fuck. You can look at fucking J.B. Lee Curtis fuck while you're fucking...

Wow. Hey, Little Man Tate, you know what'll be crazy is when we're both banging these girls, we can high-five each other. I love that their school administrators that would be banging next to students. I'm not called Little Man Tate. I'm called the Ice Storm. Excuse me.

I'm called Young Robin Williams and Jumanji. Thank you very much. Now let's fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Shouldn't we have to roll some dice or whatever happens in Jumanji? going to get lost in a jungle for most of my adult life.

Oh, yeah, that's what a pubic hair is. I rolled the wrong dice and now some weird colonial guy is here. Awesome. And he looks a lot like my dad. That's fucked up. I have not seen that movie since the 90s. Do you think that's an episode of any regard? It's all the Robin Williams

morass, my friend. It's kind of hard to have fun with Robin Williams. Oh, because he passed away. He passed away. But, you know, we make fun of people that. I've made fun of Eric Clapton's kid I would say I think we could do an episode on it

about equally beloved too Eric Clapton's little child and Robin Williams He rewatched that movie recently-ish and like it's fun sure and the CGI is like kind of still okay

if we're doing a Robin Williams movie we're doing Flubber but so whatever like Heartnet and gets in trouble because she sees him. Oh, because this is a small, tiny little Colorado or California Mountain Town, you know? Like, population 500, dude, of course you're going to see your mom on Main Street.

And she starts, like, screaming at him. This is what he's like, I don't care. Michael Myers is dead. Also, do you think John Tate as well, because Carrie Tate? He needs to be John Tate. If it was John Strode, that's a total porno name. That is. Oh, wow. John Strode. John Strode. That's 13 inches of name right there. God damn.

That would be, man. That's the tagline. Take up the whole synoscope frame. The John Strode collection. I don't know if I've ever mentioned this, but I miss the days of film distributors sent movie theaters like little like catchy things as like,

you know, merch to promote the movie and whatnot. I remember, like, when Fight Club came out, there were, like, little bars of Fight Club soap that they sent to people. One time they, when Blow came out, it was like a super condensed t-shirt packaged to look like a brick of Coke. I remember that. And when Love Liza came out, it was free gasoline.

Oh, right. And you got your own little, it was printed on it. The Love Liza poster was on a handkerchief. I loved that movie. Because also, I was always like, gas smells good. And this guy's got a good idea. And now I'm forgetting why I brought that up in relation to movie merchandise and this movie. Did they do Halloween masks?

No, they didn't do Halloween masks, but why did I want, you know what? For H2O? It'll come back to me. I don't think you're giving masks to every theater. Oh, that's what it was. You mentioned a 13-inch penis and it reminded me. The Dix they handed out of the. Mike Myers Dildos.

The John Holmes movie about the Wonderland Murders. Lengths of pipe I don't remember what film company had the movie They sent us Dildas 13 inch rulers

Oh Yeah You could see if you measure up Yeah And for folks You don't remember rulers They're 12 inches

Here in the United States Right 13 inch ruler Because I guess Come on man You don't remember rulers

Oh This America Oh God damn it Man Everything's on a jigget. God damn it. You don't even know. You don't even know how tall something is now. Don't know how long it is. Don't know how

tall it is. Where am I? Excuse me. Was anyone talking about me? I heard the word ruler. So she winds up yelling at him and they go back. She has a really good when she spots him on the street. What the fuck are you doing? She has a good Sue Simmons.

But it's great. You made me spill my chardonnay. My road chardonnay. That's the thing. dude, she angrily drives home Josh Hartnett and Little Manate I wouldn't be driving my child after pounding wine at lunch

Yeah, thank God we find out the beginning Josh Hartnett's like we're out of percissettes Like I'm like, oh, that would be nice Charterney Perks on the road I mean she's on like heavy medication Dude, this is a bad cocktail Absolutely. Yeah, but you know It's all right. She's only driving

a few miles back to school. You're writing her speech to the cops for her. He just only drove a few miles on these whinedy-ass mountain roads. You know, back in the day, it was all right. Who decided to put a school right there? I remember there's a story about one of my grandfathers. He was like, yeah, one time he drove his car really drunk. It was like 1955.

So when he got pulled over, the cops just drove him home, drove his car home for him. Oh, sure. It was fine. Have a nice day. Quite neighborly. Yeah. Better use of cops time. Honestly.

Buddy of ours had a story that his father told him where it was like his dad like worked a night shift or something and you know as a lot of old fuckers did back then

maybe still now right it's like you get out at you know seven o'clock in the morning and there were bars for like overnight folks like that where you know you get off work and it's still kind of like

just late night for you you go to the bar have your drinks and this friend of ours his father was at this bar and this other dude they were just drinking drinking, pounding back beers really hard for like two hours.

And then this guy looked at his watch and was like, yeah, got to get to work. Left the bar, entered a school bus, and drove down the road. Good Lord. Fucking legend. Unfucking believable. That's a big of a fucking horror movie right there. Absolutely.

You just hear Bachman Turner overdrive from the windows. You ain't seen nothing yet. Run over some kids. that'd be something right because they all they all line up at the stops it's true it would be right there I was one of the ones she is teaching class somehow

I don't remember what happened in Frankenstein she actually says about what she's like you should just watch the movie yeah that's what I did and Michelle Williams has a very you know similar scene from the first one where she sees Michael Myers at the window and doesn't realize it

etc etc and you're like oh I guess we're setting up Michelle Williams to do anything in this movie. That's a great call because I feel like you have her share that shot that Jamie Lee has in the first movie. It's kind of sending a message like this is a big character, pay attention. Well, I think she's either second or third build.

But like she does nothing in the movie though. But I see that shot. I'm like, oh, this character is going to be important. She's going to pass the torch to her. I don't understand how they botched this bad. It just goes nowhere. And again, the movie has pretty good beats. You know what I mean?

Like some of the pizza are okay. In that case, you just shouldn't have had Josh Hartn't in this at all. Just have her like bond with this student of her. Yes. There it is. There it is. And it's less emotional. It's less charged.

But it's like, oh, my mysterious drunk teacher. I don't know what her damage is. Well, like they're having. You got to believe in yourself. You got to apply for that scholarship. Do you have any perkinson out this morning? You're going to go places where do you have any uppers? You're pretty.

You just got to believe You're pretty I mean like Also if you remove that like Family drama With the Hartnett character not being her son Like just have Josh Hartner Be a student at the school

Yeah And it's like oh you You got in too much trouble Now you can't go on this field trip But like They're having these fucking Cassavetes ask arguments In a couple of these scenes

And like I think because both of them are good actors It's totally fine But it's just I'm watching a fucking 1998 Halloween sequel What does anyone thinking. And then you can have the kids be even more horn dog in that scenario when you're not

directly related to them. Also, the alcoholism comes to fucking nothing. It doesn't. So why even bother? Like, honestly, like, just make it about fucking her dealing with her trauma. I mean, I'm as exhausted as anybody is about every movie being about fucking grief and trauma. But please, just something focused. Well, because that was, focus is the thing. And then something could get paid off. I mean, especially, if it's just a slasher movie, then it's just a slasher movie. but if you're putting in these big themes you've got to pay something off and you know. Maybe she fucking beats them to death with a bottle of booze

because at least at least like scream like at the end like you know she winds up finding out that her mother wasn't you know like was this like what are you called there? Complicated character she kills their her the actual killers you don't know like it actually achieves something in the screenplay at the end of that movie as opposed to this where it's like I mean, the only thing is like, you know,

she fights him on that one balcony and then when he falls off, it's like kind of what could happen if there was a drunken accident. And she realizes the error of her ways, maybe. She's also driving that fucking meat wagon at the end of this movie. And you know she's still intoxicated.

She's been drunk since fucking the morning. That's the thing is I understand how she leads this crusade after like she's getting ready for this Adam Arkin date. by pounding that vodka, dude. It's totally, dude. It's stully solid. It's just no ice filled in the top like a fucking water glass. Well, see, Steve, that's, she's thinking economically, you see.

You don't need the ice cubes when you keep the bottle right in the freezer. And she, like right before Alan Arkin shows up or Adam Martin. I'm here to fuck. No, it's not. Hello, you know what? When we're, like, little bad Tate, listen, when we're fucking people at the same time, we can high five each other, kid. Yeah, you're fucking.

Little Miss Sunshine and I'm fucking I know she's not your mother but you probably called her mom by mistake once in school. By the way, want to bump a rusky? Here you go. Oh yeah. Definite lack of drugs in this movie, big problem.

But she takes like the slightest swig of scope of like lady, you smell. I was waiting for her to also swallow the mouth wash. I would just be dumping a whole tin of altoyds in my mouth. Just fucking get it all.

Mark it is so fucking horny. He doesn't even care what this woman smells like. Yeah. Oh, such a good listener. Because that's, I mean, let's get to it. Because she, like, you know, they're having their own sexy time,

all the kids. And she's like on top of, because he's like, why don't you tell me what's going on? And she's like, oh, I'll do it one day when it were around to fire. And then she's like straddling him. And he's like, oh, yeah.

And he's that got this old man erection. He's horny or whatever. I think it would be better if, like, he was enabling her worst instincts in some way. So when he's killed, it's like maybe she's free of it. Like, maybe he's a guy that's just like, have a drink. What's the big deal? Like, we're having a party, man.

Yeah, I would like to understand their relationship more than I do. And it's just like, oh, so my brother killed my, my mother, kind of killed my whole family. Honestly, I have the biggest heart on right now. Get your mouth down here. She says, you know, my mother. I need to sterilize this hog with your booze mouth. Oh, is that scope I smell?

Get sucking. She's like, she's like, oh, my brother killed my sister. He's like, well, that's sucky. Which is like the way he says sucky. He takes way too long to get that she's telling the truth. And he's being like so flipping about it. Oh, yeah. Take your top off.

Oh. arc and hard. That's all we get of him. Like, we don't understand his character at all. Oh, we should say he goes to the girl's dormitory because he's like, oh, he runs into her. He's like, I'm just doing the one more check and I'll go with fuck your brains out. She's like, okay. And she goes, Michelle Williams and Jolito Keefe, we're watching scream to you and everyone's fucking eyes rolled the back of their skull. Did you see your fucking brain stem? Did you see the trivia on this? Yeah, it was a different movie, but I don't remember which one. So I married an axe murderer with Mike Myers.

Oh, wait. Great movie, by the way. Great movie. I heard, this may not be true. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. But I heard in the commentary for this movie, Jamie Lear Curtis said her first idea was, you remember when she's looking at the window?

No. And she's see Mike Myers behind her. Which I just really quickly press pause for a second. Lazyest, most obnoxious fucking thing. That's a CGI, Mike Meyer. sure have the actor stand there well speaking of actors what she wanted to happen was for Michael Myers to be in a cameo so when she turned around it's him Mike Myers the comedian oh like playing himself yes the joke would be oh that's too much like Mike Myers or like or just like some

like pedestrian on the street I scare you baby don't it reminds me that gag in Wainswell I think it's Lee Turgesson's character is talking to Brian Doyle Murray's wife if I remember correctly and he's like do I frighten you and she's like no

and he goes do you want me to more like shardol latte swing hello but horny Alan Arkin goes into

these two girls and he's like well what are you Adam? Adam Arkin Adam what are you two girls doing tonight

and they're like oh we're just going to have a crazy orgy and he's like what are you doing he's like yeah I'm getting

my nipples pierced and I'm like dude do not say nipples in this girl's room get the fuck out of here weirdo dude please go out in the hallway if you're going to use the word nipples I just watch this old in his old man mouth and I don't even that old

he's like it's 50s not that old yeah but it's just like it's kind of gross oh you got a scream two on here let me ask you have you ever seen a wonderful Joel and Ethan Cohen movie called Fargo I've got a couple of got a little ideas in my head about a certain idea tonight

with me and Tate just need some other guy can high five. I'll be seeing you later, Jody Lynn. Yeah, there was one of the, he was a weird, weird little guy. He was funny looking. I think his name was Tate. Oh, yeah. We shouldn't get, because

we're too far away from it, but we have to mention, if anything, to just fucking quell the tweets to kill these tweets. Janet Lee is in this movie. Oh, of course. She plays the, like, school secretary. Dude, fucking hell. Man, it's the scariest scene of the movie.

I was like, oh, my God, it's ghost. Because she's like, she's fucking out there in this. I'm sorry. All due respect, I think she's a great actress, but Lord Almighty with this. Is she the dumpster lady from Ball and Drive? What are you talking about?

The exact reaction I had. I was like that dude going, oh, just going down. Somebody make that meme, by the way. It's that dude from Mad Men looks around the corner and this Janet Lee behind the dumpster. Someone please do it. She's just a secretary in like normal clothes.

I think it's totally, I don't know. She's like, she's like barely there. Oh, well, yeah. I think she passed away like kind of shortly after this, ish. But like she hadn't been in a movie in 18 years, apparently. It was just this nice like, well, she, Jamie Lee's coming back to play this character again. But it's like a little too much on the nose. It's a way on the nose.

Oh, my God. My nose got broken. Because she's like, she does the sheriff bracket. I hate it. Everyone's entitled to One Good Scare That's kind of okay But then she's in front of

that fucking old car It's the car It's the exact car That she was buried And you know what If that's the case Someone's gonna fucking pat that old bra down

Because she's an embezzler And I don't know I don't know what she's taken From the school $40,000 I think So the story goes And she's very interested In whatever is going on

Between Jamie thea Curtis And fucking Adam She knows what's very I think she wants to be in On the Fargo not Because there is that scene Where Adam Arkin goes into Jamie Lee's office

and they close the door they start making out a little bit and then he's like I'll see you tonight or something with my hard dick and then like he leaves and Janet Lee is standing there like you were making out in there I can sense it

just at FYI that dude's dick is crooked where I think it's one talk over the line is when she turns to go to the psycho car the score turns into the it sucks I'm sorry all the psycho nods in this I just don't like

and there's another psycho nod little man Tate has something I was like oh you're hanging out with your mother so much you can run a motel of the middle of nowhere and I'm like I fucking saw the movie wait you know did you guys know this is based on a carpenter movie not a hitchcock movie just letting you all know Jesus fuck there also is when Jamie Lee comes back to the campus and she's dressing down L.L. for letting the kids out of the campus. She calls him a psycho. She's like, what are you, a psycho?

And you're right, though. It's like, I have seen that movie also. Uh-huh. I think, actually, I think there's a few lines that say psycho. I think more than one person says psycho. Well, here's the thing. As a derogatory. I don't have a problem with it, but let me ask you guys if you like the original

idea better. They wanted PJ Souls to come back and just play a different character. She's the one from Carrie and who's also the first movie. She's in the first Halloween. See anything you like and get strangled over the phone. I would have just been fine. I would have just been fine with just some other lady.

Just, you know what I mean? Someone who's not. I mean, I like PJ Souls and all, but like the callback machine needs to be stopped. So the story goes, they offered the role to PJ Souls and she just like didn't get back to them in time. Like check your fucking answering machine, PJ. I was, I'm sorry, I was waiting on a callback from Stripes S2O. Man, I would rather watch that. Absolutely.

Now that, like Stripes, people like it. But I don't think it's a perfect movie by any means. It's just funny. It's got a lot of jokes. A sequel could actually improve the form of it. 70% of Stripes is fine. The end of Stripes sucks. It does.

But so like now it's so, we turn into a slasher movie somehow. Fucking finally. That's nice. Little Man Tate, like they're having this origin thing. wait, I got to go downstairs and get the wide opener. And God, dude, he can't find the corkscrew. Could you even believe it? Yeah.

But then the way he can't find it is it falls into the garbage disposal. And then we're doing this final destination. I know that's, I know it's pre-final destination. But it's like that will he get his arm ripped apart by this garbage disposal or not? And the answer is he should. Because he's like, Michael Myers is watching him do it. That's like he should get it. Like the way you could do it is.

start it, just like they start it. There's like this fucking, you know, low angle shot, like looking up through the garbage disposal. He reaches his hand in. He clasps it and you then cut back out and he's like, huh, and he goes to pull it out and Michael Myers

puts his hand over Little Man Tate's arm, keeps it in there and with the other arm turns the switch on, dude. Honestly, all the horny shit from Little Man Tate, it would make sense if he was the same character as from the Ice Storm. You got so Gorney Weaver as your mother in that movie

Yeah, this would cause that You'd have some edible problems there I know I would Jesus Christ But then he also dies off screen You just you cut and you know that Little Man Tate's gonna get it And like and that's it

And I'm like, what the fuck am I doing here? Watch is Adam Mark and get a fucking hand job? That's what I hand job 20 years later That's what I'm here for Yeah They got a J to you're right But they should go all the way If they're going to do that, they should go all the way.

I want to see some real fucking beaten on that thing. Really? Sure, yeah. Some pounding pot? Or like show her hand go down his pants. I feel like this movie's trying to be sexy without showing anything. You just see Jamie the Curtis doing this. Oh, the joints.

Tough. Look, I would be totally into the idea of, if it's an offscreen kill, fine. But make it more fucking dramatic than he had. throat cut. You can show me a fucking guy getting his throat cut. I want to see little man Tate in pieces. Exactly. She's trying to kill. Head or whatever. Well, because Jody Lynn Keith gets, or O'Keefe gets fucked up in this movie. And like, she's the only one. She's the only one. But that's like way too brutal

for a Halloween kill though. You know what I mean? Like, because she, she goes looking for him and then she finds all the blood and like Michael Myers like stabs her legs. She gets to do a dumb waiter. Yeah, the dumbwaiter is like the whole thing of how they, how these little, little creepy students get around the screen. I think that's how they got down to the janitor hole, dude. They just took the dumb waiter. It's insane.

I would never trust, no way. Sitting in a dumb way. No, dude. Just take the fucking stairs. At this weight, absolutely not. Maybe little man Tate's weight. I mean, but the thing is, it's something designed at the, like, the turn of the last century to, like,

bring up a dinner plate. Not full people. I feel like at total tops of full turkey. Yeah. That's as far as nine pounds. I guess that's what a little man Tate weighs. Yeah, that's true. All to bring up a,

as much as a turkey. All to bring up a dinner, a dinner platter full with Cape Cod potato chips. What are you eating here? But yeah, so she gets in there and like Michael Myers cuts the thing. It fucks up her leg some.

And you see he's about to start stabbing her and then again we fucking cut but then he turns into an art installation which is sort of something dude this is a fucking saw shit man because like who finds her here is it Michelle Williams they both find it because they're like oh where we're our friends are we having

an orgy now it's just now it's just a sex thing now it's just sex that's boring you were interrupting our heavy breathing making out during a creed song creed man romantic creed use incredible

What the fuck are we doing? It's in, like, in a Halloween movie. It's so dumb. Can you jerk my penis? I'm asking you, my lord and savior. Michael Myers is my one true God. It's just like,

I had the subtitles on the end of this movie you got fucking creed, and I'm reading them lyrics, and it's like, we all are under the one reign of the loving lord, and you're like, Who picked this shit for this movie? As a teenager, I had terrible taste in music.

Sure. It goes to show you, dude. I never listened to lyrics for anything. Because it took me so long to realize. Because I like the first creed album or whatever it was, my own prison or whatever. You're not going to get me to answer that question correctly. Fuck. Whatever it is.

Is his own worst prison when he misses church? But it took me forever to be like, they're crazy. And then like, I listen to the album that I just hear it. I'm like, it's all over there. There's like anti-abortion songs. It's crazy how Christian they were. And I just, because I was just like, yeah, chunky guitar is all right. And I just had no idea.

That's how that Christian rock fucking tricks you. Exactly. Take an electric guitar. You put a distortion pedal on it and you kind of heard her with your voice. It is my own prison. My own prison. Yeah. We all live under the reign of the one king.

That's the song that ends The credits and it's like Who thought that was good? Who thought that was a good idea? Have you ever wondered if Eddie Vedder started believing in the big guy? That's kind of what I sound like. I would love it if Michael Myers

Just one fucking ham on that fucking disc man Dude, it would be great. He kills Little Man Tate, he kills Jody Little Keefe, that he smashes that boom box. Can you take me higher? I don't like kids getting high at all stab so they go looking and then they find everybody dead and then this is when like well we have to say what happens to her here it's fucking insane is they turn the light switch on and like

this girl has been capital m murdered sure she's hung from the light cord but michael meyers has hollowed part of her out and the light bulb is in her chest and also just i guess to fuck this corpse up more because she's trying to get out of this dumbwaiter and he cuts the rope is the thing and it falls on her leg. So you see her fall out and like it's kind of a fucked up like you see the bone thing.

But when she's hanging there, he's just efficiently cut off the rest of that leg. Like so she's also been dismembered. Like it's brutal as fuck. Kind of a callback to my old art installation days at RISD. We and David Byrne we're friends,

but he decided to form the talking heads at RISD. It's a psycho killer, me, me, me. There is a monster with a bachelor's degree in art and design coming into your town, Sheriff. It's the worst combination of people. He's a fucking serial killer who's been told he's a genius. It's the worst major, the devil's major. He's in defound materials. Oh, fuck, we're all screwed.

He stopped by a junkyard on his way. oh no, it's his thesis. No. No. I'm going to say it. That is the one time Loomis is hilarious. He's doing the nose.

Oh, the nose. Halloween 4 is pretty good. Dude, not bad. Honestly, I would take any Loomis one over this one. That's me. Oh, for sure. Um, but yeah, so he goes nuts. And now they're running. They, you know, barely escape him.

There's like some business with a fence. And again, like he's not walking like Michael. He's just kind of walking like a dude. He's just a guy. Like, I know he's just a guy. Sure. But, like, there's got to be something better with the body language here. That's what's, like, really disappointing.

Because, like, Steve Miner directed two Jason movies. Both of which are movies that Jason is in, jasoning around. They're actually good Friday the 13th movies. Two and three are totally fine. And it's so, like, you've had to direct an actor playing a lumbering oaf before. I don't know. This, I mean, Chris, you, you, you. this years ago, but this is the fucking feet

up directing right here. Because like, how do you not stop that and be like, oh, you know what, Greg? We're going to get you a fucking DVD of the first movie, man, and you're just going to watch it. And just do what Nick Castle did. Because this is terrible. Get George Wilbur in there. He was still

fucking around. That's true. It's just too carefree. Like, I'm winning any minute for like rain drops keep falling while he's just walking to murder these children. John what? Everybody's talking at me that'd be great

that he kills John Voie That'd be awesome See that's the great alternate ending Or like Yeah alternate ending of the Midnight Cowboy right It's like Ratso Rizzo He lives to see another day

But John Voight you see Murdered by Michael Myers Crazy twist in Midnight Cowboy That's actually It's Mike Myers Who's cradling Rizzo At the end of that movie It wasn't act

John Boy had been killed In between the scenes and then Jamie Lee Curtis realizes what's going on and they kind of all formed a little posse here. I like this scene of it's Josh Hartnett, Michelle Williams are running away from him and he's chasing them and it's a great like she's fumbling with the keys which is great lesson right here ladies and gentlemen

no more than like three keys on a key chain. You need like your building door, the apartment door and the mailbox door. That's all I have. A little piece of white paper and a little bit of. tape on that little, those keys. That's all that takes. Let's see. And then you might survive. Look at those. Oh, my God. One,

two, three, four, five. Okay, but how many of those are dungeon keys? One is the, actually two of them. Okay. Two of them are dungeon keys. One of them's for my mailbox. I don't know what that is. See, if you have a key in your key chain that you don't know. No, no. I'm sure that'll be something good. One of them's a master lock on a

storage unit. One he found in a clown's mouth at the beginning of the game. exactly i want to keep it here instead of it being sewed inside of me or whatever the fuck but yeah so they're running and like she gets into the little gateway and they close it and they're trying to get the door to unlock they're screaming hitting the buzzer and whatnot and jami lee opens the door i do like this shot if she closed the door and looks through the peephole yes and he's there and it's the face it's squaring off it's the best shot of michael myers in the movie because you can't see his fucking eyes and eyebrows yes yep and i would just

love in that moment if she's just looking like, this isn't Michael Mike. His whole, he was much blanker. The mask was much blanker. At this point a copycat might be interesting. Yes. Yes. That was part of the original idea. Really? For this, for this I read part of the original treatment

was like, there's a copycat because at a prep school. Yes. I'm into that. That's okay. That also that covers your whole fucking how was he driving for a day and a half. That's true. Yeah. And whatever. So this is when Al Adam

Arkin's like, okay, Jamie Lee, give me the gun. And he joins the police department and just shoots a black person for no reason. Yep, it's fucking crazy. I couldn't even believe it. He got his badge that night. Shot a black man in the head. Because L.L. Cool J is coming down to be like, I'm going to, and it's kind of, it would

be in a better different movie that'd be kind of cool where it's like, oh shit, like the strangers when Glenn, what's your book, Glenn Howard gets it. You know what I mean? Like, it's just, it's fucked up. And like, you really feel that like, oh my God, I killed my best friend. We're just like, oh, shit.

And then Adam Arc and dies immediately. He gets it pretty good. He gets killed by Myers, which is nice. But Ronnie, L.L. Cool, Jay, you think is dead at this point. He's been shot. Yes. He's on the ground. There's blood around his head. You assume he's of course, but he walks around like he's

fucking fine later in the movie. Oh, no. Oh, no. I shot. Oh, fuck. I shot L.O. Cool, J. The Grammys are going to kill me. they're going to send hitters oh no you might as well kill me Michael Myers

I mean it's the thing that's stupid is he shoots him hey dead body mama should knock you out how about that mama said get up from the deck come on

get back to life I'm in trouble but they do the dumb thing where Adam Arkin is looking down the hallway and it's Michael Myers walking towards him and that's why he fires

but like that only makes sense for Jamie Lee. Yes. Because she is the one that's damaged about this and whatever the fuck. Yeah,

like he saw him one time. Exactly. It makes no sense. But yeah, he gets stabbed in the back and lifted up and he's going he's doing a good like my spine is being severed shaking

and the knife like goes through his chest. You see it. It doesn't go. I could have used a sweater rip right here and the knife goes through. That'd be good. It'd be something, right?

That'd be nice. But he drops down like a, fucking dead fish, which is pretty great. Yeah, it's still pretty good. So that's the first death we witnessed? No, second. Well, you witness the nurse get her throat cut. And then this, right?

And then this. And then this, yeah. Not great, guys. No, not great. So far on Halloween movies. And I know there were other kills and disturbing reveals. Sure. Sure.

It's just not enough. And nothing spooks me more than a disturbing reveal. Dude, you got that straight. And aren't we, we're done with deaths now, right? We are. That's it. That's the fucking cap. Yeah, because next scene, the kids get in the Ford Explorer and she's going to go with

them, but that she realizes, no, I have to face this. Yeah. And this is, you know, a badass moment, but it's not directed terribly well because the shot's not framed properly, I think. Like, you're too far away from her. Because she's like, are you kids go on, drive down, and, you know, I'll be right behind you. And then she, like, breaks the gates or she's not going to be right behind them, picks up an axe. And she's like, Michael. And like, it's like a helicopter shot.

I appreciate how far you are though because you get like her shadow on the driveway and everything. I think this whole moment is done okay except she has. It's like, ladies and gentlemen, I've seen the first motion picture multiple times. I don't need to be reminded of that movie watching this movie. And again, she does the, she tells Michelle Williams drive down to the whatever the fuck's house, which originated in the first movie,

down to the McKenzie's, which then Kevin Williamson and West Craven also referenced in the first Scream movie. Like, it's been done. But you know what hasn't been done? Michael Myers being stabbed by the California state flag. Dude, that's so great. And I

had the thought how fucking funny would it be if this was a private school in the south and the Confederate flag got it. Finally, that flag was used for something good. They have a statute of Michael Myers in the South? I think so. It's the history. though. You don't want kids to forget about it.

You can't take it down because then people would forget about it. Then you wouldn't have these little girls' birthday parties loving Michael Myers. Could we teach it in school? No, you may not. But the statute should still be up there. Get that critical slasher theory out of it. No, Stacey Dean. That's

General Michael Myers. He rode for the Confederacy Stacey Dean. He made his entire troop used nothing but butcher knives and they were, well, ironically, butchered instantly. You know, General Beauregard, Jason Vohees.

You know, he was the first person. He was an innovator. Here's the first person to learn. If you boil your piss, you can drink it. It's an absolute tragedy when they removed the statue of Freddie Kruger from the South Carolina State House. That was there the whole time with the finger knife saying, seeing your nightmares.

It had a word bubble that said, see in your nightmares, written in bronze. That's a great Lindsay Graham impression. And another thing is why we need to have abortion be illegal is for there'll be to be more teens for them slashes to kill. How is

it? Leatherface is going to make his famous Texas Barbecue if they're on unwanted teenagers roaming the Texas countryside? Don't get me on these people's side. More kills in these movies? Don't please. Well, you know, for the first

time in history, right? What, there's more deaths in Alabama than births? That's something. The Atlanta pinheads always been the best baseball team they ever was. Now batting for the Atlanta pinheads. Number seven, the left fielder, CD guy. I mean, it's wicked. It's wicked, stupid. It's stupid. The call us the Boston Leprechauns. Oh, shit. Oh, mercy. But they are, aren't they, folks? They are.

We'll rib the north as well. Yes, indeed. This is when it's a card table fucking climax. There's so many card tables. He's like donkey come. Just chucking these things. Here's the thing. This movie is

the closest any Halloween sequel came to being a professional wrestling special. Because there's a lot of falls through tables, a lot of table action. There's also, my God, she hit him with the fire extinguisher. When he goes over, this is like kind of the end of the, you know, there's a big fight about we're at the end of the movie. But he goes over this rail.

It is like mankind at that one summer slam when he went off the cage into the table. Yes, he goes all the way down. Oh, Mama Stroats crying tonight from joy because her murder is fond of dead. Oh, no, it's Dr. Loomis. Where did he come from? He should be in the damn bitch. My God, it's Michael Myers' music. Yeah, he goes through the fucking thing.

It's like she pounces on this dude and is stabbing him repeatedly in the chest and he goes off this fucking balcony, dude. It kicks ass. And, I mean, fucking L.L. Cool J., the asshole. She's about, she knows. She's been in three of these fucking movies at this point. She's like, I'm going down there And I am going to cut this dude's heart out And I have to eat it

I think that's what needs to have And he's like grabbing her like stop He's dead, stop he's dead At that point you have to kill L.O. Cool Exactly. Get out of my way, you idiot You should be like, you know what, Ronnie, back off From docking your pay I have to stab this dude

Straight through the heart But we didn't talk about Just really quickly because you mentioned the tables A little bit The fucking super strength that he shows in this movie, this is the movie where he does this

slowly lowers himself down from a pipe with one arm while holding an axe and then yeah, he's taking these tables these like cafeteria tables two at a time

and flipping them over with his hands. He's super strong. He's lifted dudes up and stabbing. You know in the asylum there's nothing to do but hit the yard.

Dude, Adam Arkin is no slim chicken either and he rips him right up. With one arm, dude, it's crazy. That's the thing is this movie doesn't give us where he's been.

before he just shows up at the beginning. Right. Where have you been since since he left that hospital? He must have been an operator. He must be working with the Navy SEALs. He can lower himself down with an arm like that. Do you think Michael Myers was the true gentleman who assassinated Osama bin Laden?

Oh yeah. He was there. He got out of the hell of him. Let's go. He was doing missions with the substitute. Remember that movie? Come on, Michael Myers. We're going to go kill Asoma Bin Laden. There's a lot of porno in this place.

He must just been watching nothing but porno. I really loves porno. And what's that Sanfeld? The show's a little too New York for me, if you know what I mean. Tom Berringer in the Substitute. Is that Doritos? Osama bin Laden in Doris. Okay.

Okay. More like us than we thought. Yeah. So then it's like this is where the kids come back. Everyone's getting medical attention for two seconds. L.O. Cool, Jay. On the fucking phone. telling his wife like oh I'm going to make like a sexy thriller or something like I'm so glad Ronnie's

writing career is taking off and the screenplay had to take time to tell us that's the only fucking storyline that actually completes is like oh yeah grown as a writer that's up that he found his voice as a thriller writer it's his movie honestly here's the thing sequel to this movie Halloween H2 1 or whatever and you have him as a writer and he writes a story like a sexy Michael Myers story. Dude, the Ronnie Diaries. And then they're, you know, I don't know. Maybe they're making it a movie and all who shows up on set and starts actually killing people. Then it's kind of like Scream 3. Yeah. Which, you know. And then just Jay and Sound Bob are there too. Dude, but the difference is Jay and Silent Bob are butchered by Michael Myers. That's the thing. Man, nobody saw

that coming, huh? Just Jay and Silent Bob and Scream 3. Okay. We're first day on the set of our a porno parody of Halloween Hallowette. Oh, yeah. Who is that large man in the court? Oh, oh no. Then he's just cut dicks off, dude. 13 inches, dude.

John Strode's dick. But, so she steals the amulets that has Michael Myers and she's good. Dude, I thought you said amulets. Oh, no. Ambulence. That's right. And she's going to, and now the movie, the sequel will tell you that this powerful

ending. This is just some fucking poor ass fucking EMT going to get murdered right now. God damn it, dude. I forgot. Right, because they switch, like in Resurrection says that they switch bodies. Is that the correct title, Halloween resurrection? Yes. Yeah, he comes back because he basically like tapes or maybe like cuts the dude's throat so he can't talk or something. I think he breaks his windpipe or something. So the guy can't talk. And she's just like, I would have killed

this dude. And she does. It's kind of fucking funny. The decapitation is pretty cool. It's a good decapitation. You got like viscera and whatnot. It's a meaty decapitation. The fucking mask comes back to ruin this again because it's like, oh, please help me. Like he's got big eyes.

I'm like, no. I need to see nothing there. He's doing big poppy dog eyes. He's reaching his arm out. Because she drives this ambulance off a cliff. And Michael Myers gets pinned between the. I think it's like, it's a coroner meat wagon and like a tree branch.

Yes. And then he's like reaching out. And she cuts his head off. The theme song starts up. And the last shot of the movie is you looking at Jamie Lee Curtis. And I just, it's blissful that it's not like she gets back to campus, has some fucking heart to heart with Josh Hartnett. And now to finish my class on Frankenstein, remember what happens at the, all right. I guess that does like it.

It's funny that they're talking about Frank. When the moral of that is like he wasn't even that evil. Yeah. I thought maybe there'd be a little redemption at some point for... Now, Molly, as you remember from Frankenstein, it ends with Victor beheading the monster and going home and having a wonderful life. Well, bride of Frankenstein actually has a much, a sort of similar, like, dumbass sequel, like, rejiggering over the story because they're like, oh, yeah.

Well, Dr. Frankenstein, when the monster threw him off that windmill, he lived. Oh, and then also when the monster burned. to death in that windmill. He actually fell through the floor into this, like, weird water area. And then, you know, then the fire department came and then they pulled Frankenstein up and he murdered them all. Which, by the way, that in the trailer for Halloween kills,

I am so there for this murdering fireman. I haven't even seen the trailer yet, dude. Oh, I don't want, sorry if I spoiled it. No, no, it's fine. Uh, but that's the movie. It just, it ends with that. And then like a few minutes later, you get this creed song. And then like, as always the I mean, like, you have to be certain that your movie is like some kind of awards contender before you're dedicating it to a dead person.

Because this movie, the very end of it is in loving memory of Donald Pleasance. And I'm like, I'm sure he doesn't give a fuck in the afterlife. I mean, it's either, here's the thing, you've got to dedicate something to him. It's better. It's not Halloween six. But look, there's not something in that, though? I feel like there must be. I forget.

Because did he die before it came out? Yeah, he did die before it came out. But that's the thing, it should be on top. It shouldn't be buried below the fucking 17th Miramax logo. I mean, that's the thing. It's right at the ass end of it, dude. Anyone who fucking saw this movie in theaters didn't see that shit. I just love how it's like a little present for him.

Oh, great. You dedicated this shitty movie after me. Finally, I can get it to heaven. My unfinished business is complete. Yeah, what is his daughter, Eleanor Pleasant? and staying to the end of Halloween Edge Door, but oh, oh, yeah.

Oh, it was such a cheery dedication it was to our father. He would have loved this movie. Kind of would have liked it. It was up front. He's kind of had to sit through all that. He put it up in the front before the movie starts.

Oh, no, say our names. Dedicated the Christoph Waltz Blofeld movie for Bond to him. Oh, man, but that is the motion picture. Would anybody recommend it, Steve Sadeck? It's 86. minutes. It's not the worst Halloween sequel. It's 81

minutes without the end credits, folks. It is, no, it's hard. It doesn't, it doesn't work entirely. It doesn't land. And I think that like, you know, it's funny now that there's this other hollow, they've done it again with, uh, just watch a David Gordon Green movie. You're better off. I think

that this movie doesn't really hold together that much. It doesn't give you kind of what you want. It doesn't explore its own themes properly. It's kind of a light no for me. but it's kind of a hangover movie. Yeah. Similar camp. I would say no. Like, unless you're a diehard fan,

like if you go through all the sequels, like, sure, watch this movie, get it done with. But if you're just looking for a good Halloween movie or a good Halloween movie, either way, I would say skip this. Eric Siska.

Yeah, I'm also a no, but I see what Steve is saying with a light no and a hangover movie possibility. But like, I just feel like there's not enough on-screen kills. And it's not that interesting. You know, Michael Myers goes to California. And there's not even a surfboard to be seen.

I'm going to pass on this one. Yeah, I don't know. I'll be the lone wolf here and recommend this one this time around. You know what? Don't tell me what I said on the fucking Halloween franchise episode. I do not remember. You ranked this number one. I did.

That's right. Now you're reminded. Controversial opinion, putting it above Carpenter. I find it to be totally watchable. And it's brisk. There's not an ounce of fat on the movie. I don't think it works in all the right places. I definitely don't have the problem of Janet Lee being in this movie that.

Yeah, exactly. Disgusting Janet Lee. You know what? No, she's not. But in this movie, yeah. I just, I do wish, though, there were more on-screen kills because it's like, it's already are. So what the fuck are we doing? Exactly.

It's not more scary or like there's not more tension given to like, a dead body. There's like no nudity as well, right? Curse words? I don't even remember that many curse words, honestly. I think she's like, Jamie Lee says, like,

are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, she's like, it's like mom yelling curse words. So I got mom yelling curse words. And then I have no nudity. Even the first movie had nudity. First we had a ton of nudity.

Yeah. It's got PJ Souls and the sister sort of at the beginning. Yeah. But that ain't that something, folks. Sure. And I like seeing it in the mask,

POV. Don't ask me why. That is going to do it for this episode on Halloween H2L call and 20 years later directed by Steve Miner. Michael, it's okay. She's your step-sister. I clicked on a fascinating tab on porn.

I had to do it. You had to. You know what? You had to. It would have been a terrible episode if you didn't do it. Oh, it's so weird that the mom and dad are a way business. Maybe we should watch a movie under the blankets

together. You know, speaking of a way on business. There you go. Excellent. We'll be going on tour. I guess now. We're going to see you soon. Yeah, if you're listening to this, the week it comes out. This Wednesday will be in Cleveland, Ohio, talking about a Nightmar and Elm Street three. Those, and then on the following day, we'll be in Chicago, Illinois. Yep. Right around the Myers House. Like, right outside.

I think just right at the big city. Right across from Zany's comedy club is where the Michael Meyer residence was. It is going to be, we're going to be talking about Taken there in Chicago. And then in Detroit, we're talking about what, Andrew? That would be Robocop 3, friends. Ooh. We get some square pizza, scumbang. I'm excited about that one, explore the Japanese themes.

Yikes. Of course, the Japanese were going to take us over. Little did we know, it would come a few years later in the four. form of cartoons. But that's right. The first leg of what will be our 2021 tour dates is kicking off in just a few days. And we hope to see you there, gang, WHMpodcast.com. Click on that tour tab.

And it will direct you to where you can buy all them sweet tics. But if you want more audio goodness in the meantime, Patreon. com slash we hate movies. We got a new WLM up all about an American Werewolf in London. fantastic movie that shows the kills pretty nicely not a lot of off-screen kills

some but not many no but yeah that movie shows the kills it shows the kills what you want we're gonna have a commentary on the prowler you want to talk about

showing the kills man absolutely I'm so fucking stoked to watch this again Benzen's last memorial day I believe it was but yeah that's gonna be a lot of fun coming out later this month we got a spooky

AD lined up we do it's Dude it do do to do do do it Doug Doug Doug Bo da-da-ba-da-ba-da-ba-ba-da-ba-ba-da-ba-ba-da-ba It's like a Halloween episode, sure Okay, Halloween episode of Doug But last month we did pound puppies And that's all about gassing dogs

Also scary. Pretty scary for sure If you sign up for the Patreon right now, you unlock everything, you know, everything all months And you got, yeah, episodes of the Shining is up there You got another Friday of the 13th as well What are we we talked about on this episode? We talked about the leather guy.

Texas chainsaw number two. Really fun movie. That is on Patreon. Tons of great stuff on that. And then on this here feed where you got this fine program, of course, the spooktacular rolls on next week, Steve. What are we talking about?

Andrew, you want to be careful next week because the thing is if you die in the game, you're going to die for real. Oh, I've heard that. Yes. It's stay alive from 2000 and God knows what. I have never seen this. Has anyone seen it?

I've seen it. I don't know who the fucks in it. Frankie Munez, baby. Oh, my little little race car drama. He's driving a little sports car in this movie? What do you? Is that what a power wheels?

Is what he's racing out there? Micro machine, yeah. He's living in Scottsdale racing, yeah, racing micro machines. Frankie Munez, micro machines. Oh, man. That probably did a commercial for toy cars.

What? 2006, Adam Goldberg is in this one. Get out of town. The Hebrew hammer him says. Wendell Pierce, Milo Ventimiglia, we're going to have a lot of fun next week, folks. So until next week, when we're having a lot of fun,

I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Saita. Eric Siski. Chris Cam. Take it easy. We all go a little mad sometimes. You know, it's Halloween. I guess everyone's a title of one good scare.

Sometimes. That is better. have entered the building they're at the door they're coming in it is time to keep your appointment with the wicker man they're coming to get you barbara he's sick for fucks he's seen one too many movies now sit don't you blame the movies don't create psychos movies make psychos for creative What an excellent day for an exorcism. That was a hate gum podcast.