We Hate Movies - S12 Ep578: Honey, I Shrunk the Kids

Episode Date: November 16, 2021

On this week's episode, the guys are chatting about the late-80s Disney hit, Honey, I Shrunk the Kids! How did this movie not get a cartoon spin-off? How fast is Wayne Szalinski's marriage crumbling and how soon until he goes total family annihilator? And who among us hasn't shed a tear for the heroic Ant-y? PLUS: All hail, Matt Frewer!  Honey, I Shrunk the Kids stars Rick Moranis, Matt Frewer, Marcia Strassman, Kristine Sutherland, Thomas Wilson Brown, Jared Rushton, Robert Oliveri, and Amy O'Neill; directed by Joe Johnston. Catch WHM on tour right now, including City Winery in Nashville, TN! WHM Merch Store Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the program, another argument for more quality cartoon openings. It's Honey I Shrunk the Kids. I'm Andrew Jupin. I am Steven Sadek shrunk all the way down to 5.3.1 inch shorter than my actual. Oh, I'm an Eric Shrunkska. I'm just Chris Cabin. Oh, he's big. It's a giant cabin.

A giant cabin. They blew me up. And we hate movies. I'm gonnae. I'm gonnae. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. Hello, everyone.

Thank you for tuning in, as always. This is a comedy show where we use movies as a jumping off point for silly, disgusting, and sometimes profane conversations. And Eric, can you... Yes, yes, it's okay to like a movie. Let's all take a deep breath. We know a lot of people grew up with the honey shrunkers, and they're very enthused about the film. The honey shrunkers starring Art Carney and Jackie Gleason.

Are there shrunkettes and shrunkettes? I'm a shrunkett. I grew up with this movie. too, but like, I don't hear like the baying for like fandom like the Goonies that people do. No, there definitely is. It's all in that 80s fucking goddamn

crystalline palace that could not be looked at. But this doesn't have a hot topic section or anything like that. Yeah, where are the t-shirts for this? Goonies, they do. Yeah. That's fair. The thing is, if you put Jared Rushton on a t-shirt, I'm throwing up. I've never liked that kid. I'm going to go out.

I'm going to come in hot against Jared Rush. Which child is this is? younger kid, the blonde... Disgusting. Oh, yeah. The baseball boy? The disgusting shit boy. He's from big as well. I've just never... Oh, he's the friend in big. That's right. I've never liked him. I've never done. I'm sure he's a nice

person, et cetera, et cetera. The thing is this hot topic is leaving money on the fucking floor here. You should get the aunt and never forget over it. Oh, definitely. Like hotkeys. Like out the fucking door. Antie.

Ante. It would be like Monday, August 14th. 19th, 1989 to Tuesday, August 15th, 1989. Noble hero, anti. Absolutely, dude. Or it's like, you want to get really fucking crazy. It's like anti, but he's got like the Che Guevara mustache and the hat on. I like that.

Sell that on a t-shirt. Some idiot would buy it. Where are they living in Nevada? Where the fuck did this Scorpion come from? Thank you. Thank you so much. I believe if the one exterior shot of the mall with the mom coming out is to believe this is California. Yes, Wikipedia says it's California at least. It's Riverside or something like that. So like Southern California?

They got like all types of like monsters. I guess so. I mean, I've been to LA a couple times. I've never run afoul of a scorpion. Yeah. I mean, how often are you like sitting on the grass when we've been in L.A.? Don't ask. But also look at the compare. I mean, we're going to get to it. But like even on the comparison, it must be the biggest aunt

ever and a baby scorpion facing off. The scorpions are humongous as compared to ants. That scene reminded me of, you remember the beginning of 3,000 miles to Graceland where it's two CGI scorpions fighting one for no reason? Wait, what? That's a stay tuned. That's the opening credit sequence of 3,000 miles to Graceland.

It's just two CGI scorpions fighting each other. And I believe people are gambling on it when you zoom out. Oh. That establishes like Vegas muck. Those people will fucking just gamble on anything out there, huh? It's like, what's the over under on me taking a shit before 3 p.m.? Let's put $50,000. I think, I think Costner takes a bath on that one, too, if I'm not, if I'm not mistaken.

That is a stay tuned though. Maybe next year. I like that. But yeah, so this is a Disney movie from the grand year of 1989. It's directed by Joe Johnston. It's great. Yeah. I like, I like him. And this movie, it's not like, it's not like I hate this movie. No. It's, for a kid's movie, it's really well directed, I think. It's, it's, it's one of those, like, it's not even nostalgia buster like, we're coming for your classics. No, that's why I set up front. Like, this is just, with, some, Sometimes we talk about shit. Just let us fucking speak.

Just look at looking at something in the cold edit day and see how it holds up. You know, have a little fun with it. There should be a little more jail time involved in this story. That's what I'm saying. You'll fucking better believe it. And I'm just going to go on that. This is the fun, right? It's like I enjoy this movie.

I get fucking gutted every time that poor aunt is murdered. Okay. We'll get into it. Yep. But like here's the thing. Shit you don't notice as a little kid. Rick Moranis' marriage is in real trouble in this movie.

I like that. I like that a lot. There's a fucking divorce storyline just trying to peek its head out in this movie. I only saw this a few times as a kid. I was never like a huge honey shrunker. Oh man. But this guy, I kind of, I found it overall slightly underwhelming, to be honest with you.

I'm kind of in the same boat where it's just, the weird thing is it's, you know, my general note for the movie is, A, I like that it's 93 minutes or whatever it is, which is good. Yep. But it is, just like honey i'm in the backyard is the problem and then they they leave the backyard and then the movie's over exactly like that is the beef that i sort of registered with at this time because i was like maybe thinking a little more critically yeah how dare i i know but like yeah the the big mistake of

this movie i feel is them it's just waiting through a backyard and i guess that that's they they wanted to be like kind of a jungle adventure but like the shit in the house is way more interesting well i mean i think it also goes back to like movies like like the incredible shrinking man great movie by the way yeah but like i think most of that movie is him literally getting out of the basement yeah that's like the whole fucking adventure of it so like i get the smallness of it and i kind of like fucking where else are you going to see rick moranus and matt fruer anchor a movie like this love it that's so well matt fruer is loki the fucking star of this movie lately they don't they kind of sidle rick moranus with kind of being

depressed, which is fine, but it's like not what I want to see by Rick Moranis. He's getting depressed. He's getting divorced. Yeah, I know. It's a real... Steve, the wife slept at the mother-in-laws the previous evening. We're told. And it sounds like it wasn't the first time. It was just like, Amy is like,

yeah, moms at grandma's. Yeah. And it doesn't seem to be from like a blowout fight. It seems just to be out of exhaustion of living with Rick fucking Moranus. Dad found another tie in the house. And now mom's and grandmas. Well, that's, I feel the overall, like, if you're married to a quote-unquote inventor, this is the life, this is the stress, the constant humiliation, the no paycheck.

You have to be in a positive state of mind at all times. The gremlin's mother, you remember that she just had to be like, oh, my life's crumbling, but I got to smile through it. As you're drinking every day. Yeah, that or medication, like real heavy stuff. I would like if they leaned into that more or do something, because I feel like Rick Moranis doesn't have a ton to do in this. He's just like he's looking for them

in the yard and it's not that funny. If you're looking at, if you love the idea of Rick Moranis hanging from a fucking hammock, then this is your movie. But if it's not, it's not. And then he has to, when he has to rebuild the laser we'll get to it. But like, it's just like, it's done. Yeah, totally.

I mean, there are moments that present itself in this movie where you do see him doing some pretty great physical comedy. Him on the fucking fence. Try not to step on the like there are moments but yeah overall like if you are going to this movie for Rick Moranis like

which is a problem because you're forgetting the fact that it's a kid's movie and the kids movie and the kids have to anchor the thing and Rick Moranis is the parent like it is a bummer because he's not doing a lot. I will say superb dog acting in this though. Hands down. We start off with this wonderful little dog and the

sister Amy is talking about she's going to go to the mall and she's gonna get assed out. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Get assed out the fucking food court. Could you imagine getting asked out? Dude, I honestly can.

It's never happened. We should say we're doing this because Ghostbusters Afterlife came out this week. It's coming out this week. And that's everybody's favorite nostalgia trip. And it features Rick Moran. Is he in it? No.

But Rick Moranis is in Ghostbusters, which is our Patreon exclusive. episode this month, and Rick Moranis is excellent in Ghostbush. Yes, we should mention Patreon.com slash we hate movies for tons of exclusive content. For Ghostbusters shit. We should say, I wanted to say this, do you guys, anyone look up

what the previous, the original title of this movie was? Was it the Honey Shrunkers? It was the Honey Shrunkers? It was not the Honey Shrunkers. That's what the fans were known as. It's, uh, teeny weenie. What? What? Teeny weenies. Teeny weenies is the first one.

Because they're like teens that get weenie? Yeah, yeah. Oh my God. It drinks your teeny weenie. Oh, so they're teens and they got small weenies. And now they got even smaller weenies. I was in the pool. I was in the pool.

This doesn't even make any sense, buddy. No, no, no. We're calling it weenie teenies. So teeny weenies. It was teeny weanies. And then somebody was like, ah, no, that's not going to work. What if we called it the big backyard? Oh, my God.

the big backyard. And ladies and gentlemen, these are the people they're getting paid the big bucks in Hollywood. Do for the big backyard please?

Thank you. What fucking idiots. That would have tanked it. If it's called the big backyard, nobody's showing up. No. How do you have shrunk the kids?

Ah, that's, I understand that. A wife nagging you. I get that. It is also a weird title when you think about it. It is just like a sentence

you're saying to someone. I mean, mean, it only gets weirder as the sequels go on. Honey, we blew up the kid. Is there another one? There's two more. No way. Honey, we blew up the kid. Oh, yeah. Where Moranis, they have a kid.

Yeah. So there's like a toddler in the next movie. It's gross. It gets blown up to like 50 feet high and attacks Las Vegas or something. So both those movies, this and that. The National Guard, like fucking torpedo that kid's head off. I think they're trying to shoot it in the face, but the bullets do nothing. What the fuck? Yeah, they threatened to do it. You got a poison

that fucking kid. Uh, and that's a definite stay tuned. And then I haven't seen, and I believe it was direct to video, Honey We Shrunk Ourselves. Wow. So Rick Moranis, you know, gets tiny. Well, he already is. Yeah, well, tinier.

No, no, he is. What's the next one? That's it. Oh, no, yeah, there's two words. Yeah, and then there was a series with the, speaking of of Rested Peace, I believe Peter Scolari inherited the Rick Moranus role for like a

Disney television show. Interesting. It was like, I think it was like, I think it was like called Honey Ice dot, dot, dot, dot or something like that. Oh, because he's doing different shit every season or whatever. Well, then there was also if you went to, Honey, I fucked your sister. That's a serious finale.

If you went to, well, it was the marriage finale anyway. If you went to Disney World for a slot of time, which I was lucky enough to go to Disney World when this was going on. MGM Studios had it. Honey. Oh, MGM Studios, right.

It's all Florida. No, but that's what I mean. It's a totally in Disney. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, honey, we shrunk the audience.

What? Where like it was a 3D. I'm trying to watch a movie and I'm being shrunk. Yeah. I mean, you're watching like a film presentation with 3D glasses on and then it was kind of like those William Castle event cinema thing. Oh, that's kind of cool.

So it was like you're watching a story and I don't really remember what it was. But like you get shrunk down and there's like. Welcome to the big back. Yeah, I mean, you do shit like that. Honey, I shirk the audience is what Zach Snyder said to Warner Brothers

after the disappointing results of the Snyder cut. Honey, I apologize, I shrunk the audience. But a lot of those teeny weeys loved it, though. Yes, they did. They did indeed.

I just, now my mentions are on fire. Who gives a shit? No, no, this was something I was wondering because for this month's animation damnation, of course,

We did extreme Ghostbusters to tie into all that. But was there not a cartoon of this? Because it feels like there should have been. I don't think there was, which is weird. How could you top this opening? That's true. I'm going to look that up to see if there was an animated, but we should need, we need to talk about the animated opening.

It's a really cool one. It's great. I like the bug with the big eyes. It makes the big mistake of the shit that they're imagining in animation form is way more interesting than the shit in the book. big backyard. You're right. Because what they're doing is they're fucking around in a kitchen. It's like a spatula and all sorts of shit.

A paper airplane like going into a fan. So there's like adventure. A kid gets caught in the toaster. Dustbuster. And James Horner is just going off on this wacky, goofy song. This. Very goldberg-y and kind of. I love the score to this.

Yes, it's fun. I think it's so much energy. Well, I can't find it being a cartoon here on Wikipedia, but apparently there's going to be a live action remake at some point. That's what we're doing with these Disney Plus things, huh? Because what we got on there? I saw there's a new Doogie Houser television program? There is. That Mighty Duck

show? This is a movie or a show? Okay. No, this is a movie for Disney Plus. And apparently Josh Gad is going to play the son of Rick Moranis. And Rick Moranis is going to be in the movie. Oh, he's going to play Nick. You know, isn't Josh Gad, I'm mixing him up

with the other. He's a fat guy that likes to sound and dance, but not But there's that other... There's that other Josh, whatever the fuck. Josh Peck, who's in... The Turner and Hooch TV show. Yes, yes, yes. Josh Gad is in...

Frozen and so on and so forth. He broke out, I believe, with Book of Mormon. That was... Yeah, he was on boarded that. He was the guy from Book of Mormon. He went on to have a funnish career. He did a god-awful show with Billy a Crystal on FX called The Comedians, where it was like,

an old comedian and a young comedian. What could happen? Yeah, no thanks. I like how he just redid that with Tiffany Haddish, too. Yeah. I'll be honest, though, I'm anything that gets Rick Moranis out of the house and in front of a camera. Yep. I'll take it.

I totally agree. I thought for a minute you were going to tell me Chris Pratt is playing Nick in this new thing, but then I forgot Rick Moranis is an Italian, so he's going to play the aunt. Also, it's not a voice role, so it would be hard for Chris Pratt to get it, what with being unvaccinated. And by the way, that's like the rumor is like he keeps taking all these voice rolls now because you won't get vaccinated. Oh, that's really cool.

Courageous, sir. You know, I know people were like dumping on him for that Instagram thing and like totally fine, but fuck you all for making me think about Chris Pratt. Exactly. Which in normal times, I never fucking do! Well, that's the thing is I'm fine. Now we're in the Chris Pratt thing, but like I'm fine like just going to see a Chris

Pratt movie, but I don't want to like know what Chris Pratt's up to. You know what I mean? Like, I'll see a Guardian's movie like, I think, that guy's funny he fell down. That's the thing is I will see a Guardians movie, I am currently not interested in seeing a Chris Pratt movie. Yeah. That's a fair point. Yeah. I can't imagine what would drag me into the theater.

That's the thing. Like, I happen to find myself watching Chris Pratt in movies, right? I watch a Guardians movie. Chris Pratt just happens to be in it. I go to one of them damn dino movies. Chris Pratt just happens to be riding a motorcycle in it. Well, that's kind of how that works with me and Chris Cabin. Like, I just show up here.

Chris happens to be here. And it's like, oh, that guy. Personally, I'd like to know more about Chris Cab and what he's up to, but he doesn't reply to text. I don't ever. You are fucking terrible. It's to keep you wanting more. Yeah, I see that. Oh, yeah.

Well, you know, maybe I'll take away a little cisco out of your life then. Let's see what happens. Suddenly, I'm not replying to text. Getting personal. I love this. By the way, speaking of Ghostbusters and Rick Moranis, they offered this to Candy as well. And Candy was like, you know who would be great for it? Rick Moranus.

Wow. Helping out of bud in need. That's pretty great. And also like, I guess just because I've seen this movie like 70 times, I can't see Candy doing it. The candy would be like now we're talking about Godzilla situation. Yeah, exactly. No offense. No offense.

I love the man. But if he falls down on the backyard, the backyard is dead. Yeah, there would be a lot more danger there. Sizable man. Rick Moranis is tiny. Also, I feel like. you can have Rick Moranis do a small role in a movie

and this is the same thing with Ghostbusters, honestly. You can have Rick and Moranis do a small role in a movie and he can hit it out of the park. You have Candy doing a small role in a movie. You're like, well, where the fuck

is the rest of John Candy in this movie? Yeah, for sure. You know, he was just that kind of a dominating presence. Yeah, exactly. Moranis, you could pick his spots. I think this is obviously

his most well-known movie, right? John Candy is a dom. Rick Moranis is the sub. God, yes. Yeah, probably, yeah. Wouldn't be great watching them whip each other or whatever? I'm thinking about it. It's pretty cool.

I'm not stopping thinking about it. I mean, John, take it a little easy, man. It would be candy whipping maranis, and that is just a glorious image right there. Wouldn't it be real, master? Yeah.

They're in like leather pants. I think it's cool. Orange whip. Orange whip. Orange whip. Orange whip. Six orange whips. Master.

Well, Well, here's a crazy thing, by the way. Story credit to Stuart Gordon and Brian Yuzna. There could have been a shunting in this movie. They wrote the movie Teeny Weenies, though. And that is a little uncomfortable. From the creators of society comes teeny weenies. You're putting that shit on a fucking poster.

Maybe, I mean, maybe the thing was it didn't start so much as like a kid movie. Like, yeah, you're all on teeny weanies, but like maybe them teeny weanies were getting up to stuff in the jungle. Yeah, I could see being love. crafty in a way, you know, like a, like a reanimator type of thing. If the IMDB is to be believed, which it's not. Nope. There was supposed to be a fifth kid in the movie that died at the sprinkler seat.

And I'm like, well, that would bring the thing down quite a bit. Yeah, you can't have that. That would be fucking awesome. And then would you, would it be, I don't know, to save on costs of burial, maybe you don't resize that. Definitely not, dude. Definitely. Because you don't even need a shoe box.

Yeah. we got a little tiny little headstone for jack yeah yeah leave leave jack when you bring the corpses up here we don't need that but that would add urgency that would make a little more adult you know you're like trying to beat the beat the big backyard and yeah and live through the day that is a good point like i would care more about what was going on in the the forest backyard and not care so much about rick moranus if something like that did happen down there I'd be a little bit more invested. I feel like the way you do that is an adult gets...

Because a kid, you're not coming back from that. You can't. If an adult, you know what I mean? Like the abusive mailman is also... Totally. Yeah, like the neighborhood pervert was like spying on him in the backyard and somehow he got trunked and he's trying to get them and then he dies. The scorpion just fucking pales it.

That would be something, right? Like if they're being chased in the big backyard by a malicious small man. I'm just in here to steal Rick Moranis's underwear. Oh, no! See, there you go. A rival inventor trying to steal the shrink rate. Oh, you know, you get Dan Aykroyd.

Yeah. I'm getting shrunk, gung, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong, gong. Well, uh, the movie should be about me now, don't you think? I'm asking out, Amy, I'm 48 years old. You want to go to the mall? Oh, no, I've been killed by a fucking scorpion. Oh, dude, yeah, it's like fucking Dan Aykroyd's head is just like in the jaws of the scorpion or whatever, and only the head because he's been decapitated.

I love it. That'd be really cool. There's your fucking Brian Yuzna, Stuart. The cartoon's super fun. It's cute. It's really cool. You get the morning, like, in the Zelensky house, and it's, like, fucking chaos. Yeah, the teenage daughter, Amy is on the phone. Had a big crush on this girl growing up. You know, so it's like she's on the phone, yes, talking about. She hopes to go to the mall later. She's going to get asked out to the dance. The house, because he's an inventor, you got a bunch of whack. A bunch of whack

could do appliance shit, like back to the future. And gremlins. And gremlins, yeah. And chairman of the board. I know. See you next week. We're doing an inventor spree. A block of inventor movies, total accident. Yeah. And there's also the

little son, Nick. This kid's adorable. He's a cute, cute little kid. Yeah. He's does anchor the movie fairly well, I think. Because he's just precocious, just cute, but not like annoying. But he doesn't like get too much time. eventually Amy kind of takes over towards like the end of the adventure I would say like it becomes

more about her you know I just realized I think this is a note for directors is if you put a tiny boy in enormous glasses the audience is immediately like I hope nothing happens to that kid that's uh that happens in the hill house that little kid that gets haunted oh god that poor little guy who also gets haunted again in fucking the conjuring three and it's just like leave that kid alone. It's one of those things where I saw when Conjuring 3 came out, terrible movie. When that came out and I saw that little kid again, I was like

this poor fucker's grown up weird. He just is. You can't suffer both of those productions and fake movie hauntings or whatever and grow up normal. Jimmy, we got the best next project for you, the Hellraiser remake. You're going to be the anchor of it.

You know, you're going to find the guy upstairs. It's going to be great. We're going to size your glasses up three times. Yep. The similar thing with Fuller and Home Alone. That kid's got big glasses. I thought he was dead. There's one in Jojo Rabbit, I think, too.

Oh, right. Okay, that makes sense. He was a little chubby kid, though. The little friend. Yeah, yeah. Josh Gad could play the adult. He's, uh, that little kids. Oh, actually, wow, weird crossing of the streams here.

Oh, shit. Same kid. That kid from Jojo Rabbit is the, the kid, the starring kid in, you guessed it, the home alone reboot. Oh. Home alone for the holidays. or whatever the fuck, where, oh, yeah, Buzz returns, and he's a fucking cop in the town.

Come to Disney Plus. Yeah, it looks terrible. I feel bad for Rob Delaney. I think he's funny and stuff, but this does not look good. You know, if I was the burglars, I think I would kill the kid and burn the garish mansion to the ground.

That's right. That's right. That's what I would do. I think, you know, like Lars von Trier should get home alone or something. Ooh. Yeah, I decided to do takes as to, a whole new area for the Home Alone franchise.

No, they all die. No, the whole family, everybody dies. We got a lot of fans that are very good at Photoshop. Can you do me the Home Alone poster, but the house logo is the house that Jack built has? Do, do, do, do, do, do. Yes, we have

a seven-minute, one-shot scene of Uma Thurman and the child, the child's it's a throat. Yes, it's one thing. No one ever really knows because movie magic is so beautiful but no one knows how long it actually takes to strangle a child to death

and I got that little kid from the hill house with the big glasses I'm going to teach him a lesson stay tuned for home alone oops yes but there's an exciting so yeah whatever it's a but yeah she very pointedly reveals

to her friend on the phone and she's like no I got to watch Nicky because mom stayed at grandma's last night it's bad I think mom is dating grandma they've been holding hands

a lot talking in little whispers every time mom comes home from visiting grandma she smells like rich mahogany and cigarettes your mama's a granny shagger she's just dating a 70 year old man

that's going on meanwhile Wayne is upstairs Wayne Zelensky Rick Moran is character tinkering in his attic laboratory, ignoring his family entirely. Yeah, this is something, right? Like the idea, I feel like people back and I don't know, maybe there was hope in the world in a way, like,

a dad's would like go in the garage and tinker or do something. And they're like, oh, one day something, this will produce something. And the late 80s and late 90s, early 90s, like blessed time to be alive. The worst thing that could possibly happen to you is your parents ignore you or getting divorced. That was literally the worst thing that could happen to you.

It's a tragedy if that happens. It's really sad. We got, of course, the great Matt Fruer in this movie is Big Russ Thompson, the next door neighbor. And their whole thing is he's gearing up for this big family, like, camping trip. And he keeps, this is a confusing thing because he keeps being like, we have to get out early. We got to go early. You know, we got to get there early for the early fishing, early, early, early. And I'm like, sitting there last night, like, I'm pretty sure this movie starts at like 10 a.m.

Like, motherfucker, you miss the early fishing, dude. I mean, I guess the idea is maybe for tomorrow. Like, you know, we're doing all the stuff. And we'll get there tonight, wake up tomorrow and be able to fish. I, fruer is great. I always love fruer. I think Jim Carrey came and ate all of his lunch. Yeah. But I also think that like, it's kind of an interesting character for him because it's very against type in a good way. Like that, like he's kind of, like, he should be playing Wayne Zelensky. He's kind of a nerdy, nervous guy playing this like, butch, dad, football. And it just that tension is funny. There's a disconnect there. Yeah, because you does feel like you need like a Biff Hard Apple playing

this role next door. But the disconnect worked for me because it's those kind of guys that you always meet. They're never big, strong guys. They're little whims who are like, you have to be the most masculine man imaginable. I'm your neighbor, Jordan Peterson. Oh, yeah. How do you? I shrunk bed Shapiro. It's not possible. It's just not possible.

He's the smallest person alive. How could you shrink what's already so small? He vanished into the quantum zone. God willing, man. Take him, please. Yeah, if that happened, dude, I'd want candy belly flopping on that backyard. Debate me, dust mite. Debate me.

He's still wearing that cowboy hat. The dust mite is just there eating the dust. but yeah the thing about fruer that i love is like i think it's because of the fact that he is not this biff hard apple kind of guy that it makes me like not hate the big russ character it allows you to kind of feel for him like yeah obviously like he is putting pressure on the oldest kid to play sports yada yada yada but like he kind of does realize along the way that that's not the best move so there's actually stunningly in a movie where like the next store neighbor character would be

nothing. He actually winds up having a worthwhile arc in the film. That's actually very true. And I think you're supposed to like Wayne Zelensky more than him ultimately, which is insane. Yeah. Because Matt Fruer has been through hell. Living next to this guy who makes

electric shortages happen every weekend because he has to make his leisure. Like, I would fucking want to kill this guy. Well, that is your introduction to Fruer is like Rick Moranis is banging away. clanging away in that fucking attic and Frueur like gets awakened

by the noise or whatever and the Mrs. Thompson here who's Buffy's mom a 1989 Christine Sutherland got... Yeah totally. Is she part of the Sutherland dynasty? I don't think so. I think she's an American, not a Canadian.

Yeah, that's our first problem. Oh, she's like oh come on, you know, why don't you just give him a break? He's like, oh, I'll give him a break. I'll break his arm. And I'm just cheering in my home. Do it. He's like, Zelensky.

It's Saturday. I'm like, you're right, man. I mean, you know what? I don't like the way you're treating your son, but your neighbor is a piece of shit. It deserves to be yelled at. Absolutely. I was ready to yell at some neighbors this morning.

I was awakened Saturday morning. No way. Do you have an inventor neighbor? I wish it was an inventor. Instead, there's some fucking big morning buff who likes making breakfast. Saturday morning pre 8 a.m. some asshole in this building making bacon.

The whole fucking built because they're not ventilating properly. The whole fucking building smells like bacon. Hot box. I'm not complaining in that situation. It's just a fat man in me talking, but I can't. The angelic smell of bacon wakes you

before 8 a.m. on a Saturday, though. And there's none for you. None for you. I woke up like, oh cool, Chelsea's making bacon. And I went to the kitchen. Nothing because it was some neighbor. Well, yeah, I would be like cartoon. My nose would lift me up.

I'd be still asleep and I'd be going down the hallway. A cartoon smoke finger dragging you along. This way. This way. But yeah, Szilinski is trying to do his shrink ray, but it doesn't work because it blows up the apple. Which is a fun little seed. He's like, oh, man, I made applesauce. And this great dog is like just there being great.

It'll be cool of like the wife is like she calls. It's like, no, it's completely fucking over. This is done. And he fucking flips. And he takes his laser, starts walking down the city block, shooting everything. Always ends in a mass crime with you. He's got a family annihilator vibe all over. He definitely does, right?

Because it's just, he's just pushed to the brink. The wife is ready to leave. The science community is laughing at him. That's true. That conference he has to run out to. He's tinkering before a conference, too. And this, he's, he's packing so much life into a single day. I mean, I guess you're right.

After the Applesauce incident, if you just heard Matt Fruer from O'Far say, No wonder she's leaving you. Oh, you see, you point that laser out the fucking window. Death Star's house. Hey, Zalinski, stop trying to shrink stuff. Make your dick bigger, man. Hazelinski, instead of trying to shrink some shit, why did you try to grow that checking account?

Get a fucking job, man. Hey, the cable man was there for about four hours today. Wonder what he was doing. Yeah, a lot of problems with your TV, I guess. Is he, so he doesn't have a job in this? Because he says to the wife, like, all right, look, this conference is going to make or break it. And if it doesn't go well, you know. I'm going to go to the rope store.

Oh, it's actually after it. Yeah. Because he, you know, we're jumping all over, whatever. He fucking totally washes out at this conference. They laugh him out of the room. Very similar to Stargate. Stargate. Yes.

Where he's getting heckled at a science. People just go to science. conventions and just go to heckle people. He should be recruited like Kurt Russell comes up in a military uniform. Totally. Then the movie takes a whole different direction. Because this is obviously something the military would want. Mr. Zelensky,

we have made contact with a very little planet. And we need to shrink our Marines down to go explore it. But he, yeah, when he washes out of that, he goes back home and he's like, oh, Diane, I failed. I just flat out failed. And you know what? That's it.

I'm going to go. I'm going to get my old job back. If I can get my old job. So he has like left something to invent this shrink ray. I just don't know what being the manager of a Boston market's going to do for you at this point after all of this. Not exactly really saving our marriage. And it's the first Boston market. It's not even worth anything. But honey, all the chicken I bring home. The shitty corn bread. The shitty corn bread. It is such shitty corn bread. It's just, it's like bad cake. Yeah. It's like corn cake. I think I might have had Boston Market like once in my life like 12 years ago. We would get it a lot. Yeah, the staple in the Bronx. They, yeah, so like that's what's going on. He's about to go to the

conference. The mother, the kids being cute. He's trying to get, he made his own little shrink ray model. This is where it up to his dad. You got your classic hook junk bond situation. Dude, this is where, like, I got really pissed off at Rick Moran is watching it this time because the little kid's just like, Dad, look, I made one just like yours and it works and blah, blah, blah. And he's like, yeah, it's great, go help your sister. And I wanted to be like, you fucking pay attention to that kid because he is dancing on the knife between being an okay, like science nerd kid and a fucking dog killer, okay? And your daughter has already cut off.

Like, clearly she doesn't give a fuck at this point. She thinks you're a fucking loser. She hates you. She's done. She hates her guts. Not even after this, would she like you? No, of course not. Well, maybe we got her a boyfriend.

Oh, that's where she gets her a boyfriend. Yeah. Little Russ Thompson. Who likes to peek in windows. Dude, this guy. A little peeker. Working around, huh? This house is right on top of each other.

Holy shit, dude. I couldn't live like this. No, that's too much. Like, I know that coming and saying, I'm a multi-unit apartment building in New York City, but at least there's no window coming into your house from somebody else. But it's a big difference. They're detached houses.

Sure. Yeah, yeah. So I think that's a perk. You've got a yard, you know. Yeah. But it's just like you're seeing people. Sure. Every day.

I don't like it either, but. I can go days without seeing my neighbors across the hall. But you're smelling bacon. I don't know if it's them though, and that's the problem. Put some blinds over your fucking kitchen window. It's not so hard. Jesus Christ. Stop the jerker.

A little Russ Thompson, the jerker. I guess on an jerker is loose. On an inventor's budget. Yes, I guess that's probably. Hey, Big Russ. Why don't you go? come get your son the jerker

other than you know they are too close but they are kind of nice houses because they're kind of like little historic it looks like they're nice

totally the little Russ is getting yelled up a big Russ because he got cut from the football team but spoiler alert he actually quit

the football team right he doesn't want his life and I can understand why you see this kid he's tiny as fuck he's a small kid that's kind of the thing

and Matt Fruer's like fucking six foot five or whatever he is totally But he's lanky as fuck. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he should have been a basketball star. Yeah, that would make some sense.

He should have been Abe Lincoln. Four score. It's happy thing. Whoa, whoa. You know, this, that's him getting shot in the head. And then he falls off the balcony. He should have been in that Spielberg movie, not Daniel Day. They just do it as a comedy.

Well, we were going to cast Daniel Day Lewis to play Abraham Lincoln in this prestigious Steven Spielberg directed historical drama. But we opted to do it. to cast Matt Fruer instead. Think of him and James Spader go back and forth the ratat-tat-tat. That's true. Because when James Spader was like fat guy at the Congress or something.

I actually want to re-watch it. I remember liking quite a bit. Yeah, it's good. Yeah. Oh, the other thing about this kid playing Little Russ Thompson too, he looks like Johnny Resnick from the Goo Goo Dolls also. He does. And he's also got a very like, clearly when they were doing

all of their extrapolating for stranger things, the kid, Steve, this. got a little something from this kid. Oh, sure. Yeah, the algorithm sort of built-in part of this kid. Exactly. Pretty boy. Yeah. Pretty boy with a big hair. Kind of a badass, but kind of a nerd. You kind of get all that stuff. That's an interesting thing, right?

Because you don't really know a ton about these kids, aside from the really, like, face value descriptions of them. And little Russ Thompson's a little confusing in that way, because, like, yeah, he did quit the football team, but, like, to what degree did he quit the football? You know what I mean? Like, is it because he really loves music, or like he's an artist kind of kid. You get the two, like, boys, you get everything about what they're into. And at least with the girl, you get the boyfriend at the mall and you get the dance sequence. Yeah.

Where Russ is just like, I'm a disappointment. Hi. Yeah, you don't know if he's like, what do you call it there? Oh, Christ, the Linkletter movie with. Slacker? No. Days and confused. You don't know if he's like a big pink kind of a guy who's just like he didn't want to sign the form.

That's right. Yeah. Or is he like an Adam Goldberg in that movie? That guy's got some problems. You think Aaron Rogers thinks he's like, Jason confused, like, coach made me want to sign this vaccination for me. I ain't going to do it.

He thinks he's George Washington or something. Lil Russ gets pushed once by a bigger guy. Fascist! Well, it's almost like we could use maybe an afternoon at school. I'm, you know, I'm for the 93-minute runtime, obviously, but it would be nice to like really understand more of the motivations of the children.

Yeah, I agree with that. Watch him with the coach or something, quitting and be like, I don't want, you know, just he gives a speech about whatever the fuck he's quitting for. Yeah. Because, I mean, you at least know with his little brother, Ron, this kid, he's getting ready to fucking kill his teacher one day. I mean, this fucking kid is in the backyard, like, defending the yard, he says to Matt Fruer. He's got like a bunch of survivalist booby traps and shit. Terrifying stuff. Russ, did you know that you can technically buy 10 pounds a gun.

powder if you're under 20 they can arrest you it's amazing I would also like to see the Amy's interest in school the person that she wants Who's that actually that guy What's he up to? That guy could get shrunk down with him right? And then it turns out

like he's a scumbag and then he gets killed That he's the kid that gets killed Feed him to the aunt Oh auntie's hungry You poked my sister with your boner huh Now you're getting now you're getting Anted the aunt eats him dick first just cover them in sugar and leave them.

It's a funny bone tomahawk scene happens. No, split in half. Oh, I love it. That would be kind of great. Oh, my God. You know, Craig S. Zolar should direct the remake of Honey I Shrugged. Dragged across the backyard.

That's the name of the movie. And then there would be something about minorities for about 20 minutes. That's kind of weird. Totally. Yeah, it's like hyper right-wing art. But at the same time, I like his movies enough. I have to say.

I'm a fan. But like it would be weird to be Honey, I Shrunk the Kid and there's 10 minutes of Don Johnson talking about rioters. Yeah. Well, that's the thing is like maybe we need more movies like that so they can stop doing it in public spaces. Like you watch the movie. You got it.

Go home and watch the movie. That dude is what? He's dragged across concrete. Yeah. Brawl and Cell Block 99. And the Nazi puppet master movie he made. He just wrote. see. Oh, he wrote that. He only wrote that. But that is a rough watch.

Is that right? I've only seen Bone Tomahawk out of all those. Cell Block is worth your time. It's outrageous. Drag across concrete is actually amazing. And they're both of those movies though are like two and a half hours though, aren't they're like long fuckers? Paul and Cell Block is not. I think it's shorter.

Drag across is. Anyway. Yeah, but so she's doing whatever. She's like dancing around. So like basically Big Russ choose out little Russ. and we meet Little Ron who's a little shithead and he's playing

he bullies a little Nicky so you know Little Ron is a real shithead Right that's right He's like what are you fuck He goes up a worm It's like Jesus Christ Yeah totally I think that was maybe something else

In the original teeny weenie script But the whole thing too And again it's like Rick Moranus Like doesn't The teenage daughter Amy Obviously understands what's going on because we heard her, like, talking to the friend or whatever. So he's kind of doing like the, all right, listen, your mom's fingers crossed coming home tonight.

We really got to get this house cleaned up. And he can't help because he's got this conference presentation. So that's why she's dancing. She's doing some dance cleaning shit. And dude, like, don't put that on your kids. Like, save my marriage. Yeah, we all, you know what? This is a family.

We got to work together. You kids got to help save my marriage. It's even worse to be putting the fate of it on a talk where you have to convince people that you have a shrink ray that's going to work. And for them to give you millions of dollars to continue funding it. Like I would be like, you know what, honey? The real estate, there's a cubicle right near me, empty. And you could learn real estate in a weekend. Oh, but she doesn't want to be next to this guy.

Oh, I guess that's a fair point. Yeah, yeah. She would meet, he would meet Colin. and then the real suspicions All right, kids, you gotta do me a favor. You gotta start bad mouth and Colin at home. I don't care what you make up. We need some compromise on Colin.

What do you mean he told you to call him Uncle Colin? What do you mean? No, Abe. Amy, take this camera and ask him out. Let's see, let's get him on camera. I need you to tell your mother that Colin was watching you in the shower. Nothing crazy, just opened the door a little bit and peeked through.

Don't go nuts because she won't buy it. Just a little something and then here's the thing, we won't press charges. That'll be my thing. I will come in hard. I'm not pressing charges. I'll be honest with you. I got caught last time when I tried to do this with Sam from the other office. She could see it a mile away, so really sell it if you can.

Honeypot the kids Oh, because also the The wife and mom Diane, I think the character's name is Maybe she is also like a real estate agent So part of this is like She calls up and she's got an American beauty thing happening for her

Absolutely, yeah totally Peter Gallagher on the slide Getting completely fucking railed In some hotel room somewhere Yeah But she's like yeah I'm going to show a house or something, I'll be back for dinner tonight

and we can like talk about everything. Oh yeah. Yeah. Wounds need to heal. It's not. It's tough dude. But I feel like Rick Moranis has been talking up this conference to her in a way that's like a little irresponsible like because he's saying shit

like you know after today if it all goes well like we're going to be sitting pretty and it's like I feel like he's got a you know it's nowhere near the main stage of this conference. It's a middle of the afternoon, fourth tier presentation, but you

need the ray to work for it to work. That's the, even in that small room, it's like, if you shrink something for these people, they're going to be like, holy shit, here's, you know, a couple million bucks. But if you're just like, I got a shrink rate home, but it's, I'll bring it tomorrow. I promise

it totally works. Is this like the same convention that like Hoyt axon's going to in Grimlins, right? I think he's just down the hall selling some fucking fake electric tooth. Rush or whatever. San Diego Con Con.

It's very big. He didn't get Hall H. He wanted Hall H, but he couldn't get there. So he's at, like, the place where they put, like, the new BBC lineup. Is that, are you talking about the, the con artists convention? Yeah, yeah. Triple checking. Get your money from, what, these inventions that work?

Well, the great thing about the con artist convention, too, is that everybody loses their deposit. Because the whole thing itself is a con, you see. And, yeah, some guys just really. giving him shit. Like, well, if you're right, if you're laser work, where the fuck is it? I mean, you know, fair point. It's fair. Fair point.

Other scientists. And he's like, well, when, you know, when Einstein invented the neutron bomb, he didn't have to show it to people. He's like, you call yourself, Einstein, you little piece of shit. And it's kind of great. He's like, I just kind of picked a name out of a hat. Oh, Jesus, I'm dying up here. Look,

you will get all the things you're looking for once I get the money. I need the money. Hey, Barry, you want to go at lunch? No, no, no, that nerd is going to give a conference on a shrink rate. Doesn't even work. I'm going to go nail this guy. All right, I'll suck you, dude. Just tell me what you want me to fuck.

You could fuck me or I could fuck you. My wife is going to leave me. I've been working on material all night for this conference. They ain't seen a heckle like this before. I'm going to rock this guy's world. I have no scientific interest in what he's doing. I actually haven't even worked in science for years. I'm a lawyer.

I'm going to fucking ring this guy. I got no money to fund this thing. I'm here exclusively to fucking nail this guy to the wall. And he does. He really does. He really does. I think he even makes that you shrunk this audience. I think he makes that joke.

Yep. Yes. The only thing you managed to shrink is this audience. Good one, Mary. It's fucking great. I'll bankroll your comedy. career. I guess I shouldn't have labeled the talk the great future

of Shrinky Rays. It was called teeny weenies. Okay, who's ready to be a teeny weenie? Let's go. There's a vast run for the doors. But please take your teeny weenie t-shirt on the way out.

God, it was the second time at this conference there was a pervert that hijacked a presentation. Wouldn't you want one of your childs to be a teeny weenie? but meanwhile Jared Rushin is being kind of a dickhead and he's playing baseball

in the yard and he nails it right I mean like where do you think this thing's gonna go kid like you're like besieged by houses absolutely like if you absolutely have to do this go find a park but also this is on Matt Fruer a little bit he's gonna be like hey help me pack the fucking camper dude

we gotta get out of here he's too busy counting all the veal parmesan he's bringing on this He's going survivalist for a two-day weekend. He's like, we've got this much veal stew in a can. Well, that's the great thing. He does say veal barmejad, which is insane. Right, right, bringing veal on the trip.

I don't think it's like a collection of frozen food. Yes, it is. It's like TV dinners. And it's just like, first, you know, Veal, obviously some people have negative opinions on that. But to disrespect the ingredient to the point of TV dinner. Totally. It's, uh, it's, it's another great testament to just Matt Fruer being awesome in this movie

is like the way. he tweaks the pronunciation there because he's like, yeah, he's taking stock of all the meals and he's like, yep, and four veal parmgiani's or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's great. You didn't have to do that, Matt Fuhrer, but you fucking did it, dude. It adds the California element.

Now we know where it's set, because those people don't know shit from Italian food, right? That's very good point. Yeah, I don't know, man, you ever fucking dine at a California pizza kitchen? Good God in heaven. He does. He does have another scene with Russ, which is very, I keep bringing this up, but I haven't

seen it a long time. It's very Chris Cooper in American Beauty when he's like, you got to bulk up, Russ. You got to bulk up. This is after, so what... Let me polish my Nazi play thrush. The sequence of events is as such. So Amy starts dancing and doing the cleaning.

Little Russ is like spying on her in the alleyway. Because like he's like being forced to help clean up or something. He's taken out the trash and he sees her. Then Matt Fruer, Big Russ, sees what's going on. And there is the moment. in this movie where Big Russ Thompson has that sigh of relief, oh, thank God, he's not gay.

That's exactly what's going on. Do you think he thought he was having sex with Mr. Zelensky, much like American Beauty. And he was going to kill Mr. Zelensky. Oh, it could be. Well, the only explanation for quitting football is gay. So, yeah, he sees this suddenly, he's like, oh, perfect. And then, yeah, it's this weird thing. Again, you're trying to pack for this camping trip.

Can you deal with this quote unquote masculinity problem? other time. Only straight guys want to tackle other dudes in the mud. Exactly. You want to shower with dudes three times a week, five times a week. Yeah, see their rippling muscles. But he's like, yeah, so this is how you work out. He's trying to do this Matt Fruer, again, great physical comedy here. He's trying to do the bicep curl. And he just can barely fucking do it. You know, and he says, it's all stupid shit. Like, you know, my football coach at the time told me to just do this. And, you know, after three months, I was throwing harder, hitting faster, whatever the fuck,

you know, and you're just like, all right. By the way, while this all is happening, Nick is being a real entrepreneur. He's getting a kid to mow his lawn for free, essentially. While little shit boy over next door, it's just hitting balls of people.

Exactly. Who am I supposed to like here? Come on now. That kid is kind of a disgusting shit boy. He is a disgusting shit boy. He's an disgusting shit boy. The ubermensch of disgusting shit boys, I believe. I love how much Steve hates this kid. I've always never liked him.

Was it just these two movies? Was he in anything else? I believe so. I think he probably pops up in something else. He must have played a stowaway at some point. Oh, too. There it is. It's all started.

Yep, that's what did it. But he knocks the ball into the Zelensky's window, which starts to shrink ray. And it actually, something, something, the ball sits in a certain spot where it dinutes the laser. So now it actually works. It's part, we learn at the end of the movie, it partially blocked the laser

and helped tone down the heat. Yes. And the heat is what was making like the apple explode. So he the laser just going not shrinking the couch and. Oh, this kid this kid's also in previous episode overboard. Oh wow. Oh wow. That's an army

of the little shit children. Yeah, one of the shit children. It says shit child. Shit child number three. Charlie Prophet actually. But yeah. Shit child. Confirmed. So Russ. I I like Russ's game here.

It's like, A, I'm going to be the honorable of the two of our family. But B, I got to talk to this lady. And I get to be like really honorable and be like, hey, you're going to pay for that window, young man. And be like a real fucking dude here. Oh, dude. It's a good move. He drags him right over. She answers the door.

And he's just like, hi. My brother is something to tell you. Yeah. Or I'll tell her. So he admits that he knocked the ball and they're like, all right. you know, go up and get it. This kid does. This was an infuriating line.

And it's like when like little shit logic like this comes out, he's like, oh yeah, well, I wouldn't have broken their window if their stupid house wasn't in the way. It's like, dude, get fucked. Yeah, could you move your house? Piece of shit. Yeah. See, I'm pro fruer and pro the Zelensky kid. They should switch kids.

Exactly. Totally. A swap. Oh, kid swap. Kid swap. Kids swap. Maybe we should have a conference and suggest kids swap

Because you're hating your kids and you want them out It's a kid swap baby Five five five five swap your kids Oh man Wad of them sucks And want them great So get a kid swap But so they go

Nick and Ron go up And they get shrunk first It's kind of cool you don't It's well, it's well-paced. You don't see them get shrunk, but you assume that they do. Totally. And, you know, Amy and Russ Jr. are like, well, what's going on? Let's go see.

And then they get shrunk. If I was Amy in this situation, I'd be like, you know what, Russ Jr.? Like, you don't have to follow me upstairs, man. You stay here. I'll go check it out. They both go. They both get shrunk. And this is, again, I think that the set of the attic is so much more engaging

than the backyard. It's cool, like the grooves and the thing. the big nail and whatever else. And, you know, this is all practical stuff. It's cool. That's what's really great about this movie is like everything, even in the big backyard, just seeing all this shit that they're running around.

Yeah. Actual life hitting actual things. Yep, totally. I mean, even to the point where like, so Rick Moranis comes home. Yeah. And he's washed out of the conference or whatever. I love the, again, just these pathetic attempts

for this Wayne Zelensky to fix this world. he's coming home with like a huge turkey. Yeah. And I'm just like, and who's going to cook that? I would put money. It's not Wayne Zelensky cooking this huge turkey. I was hoping I could get her back by making her cook for me. I thought that might do it.

Reminder of the good times. Amy, sorry to put you in this position, hon. You got to cook us a four-course meal. You got to save this marriage. I mean, he really does lean up. Like when he tells him to clean up and stuff, it's like, I don't know, maybe you should do fucking. You do anything, you little piece of shit.

I want you to cut the yard. I want you to do this. It's like, do something. Why don't you go and try to shrink an apple, okay? Why don't you go and try to do that? Listen, dad has to get humiliated at a science conference, okay? I am very busy today. Look, I'll be honest with you.

The only way I can shoot is if I'm fucking publicly humiliated. So I got to go out and do it so I can get it up. My old high school bully said he's coming to this. this presentation today and he said he's got some what he called ace material. All right, shrink the audience,

got it. Okay, I'm going to run to the bathroom and masturbate now that you told me that. But so he goes upstairs and he's like, well,

where's my couch? He gets, and he's like, oh, you know, and then he gets so mad at this shrink ray. Oh, yeah.

This is the family annihilator vibe. He gets the bat. He's like, I'm going to fucking bring it. I'm going to fucking hang myself tonight. It's like real fucking loosing it shit. And we see so many like circuit boards and shit fly apart and just like, this is going to take a long time to fix. Nope.

Nope. Not at all. Just a couple of tweaks. Yeah, it'll be ready this afternoon. I just, yeah, I was like dead kids. There you go. That's you're killing all your kids right there. He's going office space on this thing. It's fucking hilarious. I do love great moment of Rick Moran's physical comedy here. Like he's looking around the workshop or whatever. And then he goes to sit on the couch and it's not there. and it's actually Rick Moran is just falling on the floor. God damn, it's great. It's pretty funny. Where's my couch? See, there's a fall that's better than how Kevin James can take a fall.

Absolutely right. Actual fall. And he's, what do you call it there? Actual light hitting an actual fall. Yes. Thank you, Eric. The kids are screaming. They can't hear.

He can't hear them. Sure. I think that's probably right. I don't know. I don't know science, but, you know, sure. Yeah, you can't hear an aunt yelling at you, but I'm sure they make noises. You think so? I guess so.

Man, I would love to test it out, right? Like, actually make people small, see if I can hear him. It actually does tell you what his state of mind is that he goes upstairs and he falls down because he can't find his thinking couch. And it doesn't even enter his mind that it must have been strung. There's just no way I could have made this work. That's absolutely no way. So what Amy and your like five-year-old kid dragged this couch somewhere or you got robbed and they stole your shitty couch? Someone stole my couch.

They know that in later years it'll be put in the Smithsonian. All right, I'm taking this explode array. Door to door till someone gives me my couch. Oh, I bet Colin took it. Oh, yeah. Colin takes everything for me. First, my wife now, my couch.

Sorry, Zelensky. I shot on your couch. I'm doing the garbage. Yeah, I was tired of putting stuff in your wife's cushions. I decided to take your couch. You talk so rough for a man named Colin. it is again speaks to his total cluelessness chris because when he goes in that attic like the machine has just gone off so like there's smoke everywhere and he's not like instantly going will someone just use this that must have been my career going up in smoke that I'm smelling there yeah and he's just like this is all your fault and he starts smashing it which is fantastic and the circuit boards have fallen and the kids, they're freaking out.

And he's like, well, I better clean up and save my marriage. No, you're not going to. And this is what he throws. It should be called, Honey, I threw out the kids. Yeah. Honey, I tossed the kids. This whole shit is awesome.

I love it. Garbage pale kids. Oh, there it goes. I love the, all the kids, like, hanging onto the broom, you know, broom whips or, you know, whatever, like the bristles of the broom. It all, like, it's kind of funny because, like, it all is very cool, but then the cynical part

of me is like, well, of course this could be used for some Disney World attraction. Exactly. Look at this shit. You know, it's like baked right into it. I mean, they could literally just put whatever the props were and just like put them in the room, be like, look, you're shrunk. Yeah, I mean, that's, you can see that being like, you know,

they didn't have this, but on the way to the shrunk the audience presentation, like with all those big theme park rides, like the waiting area is also part of the experience. For sure. You could see that, like, oh, here's the big ant and jump on the broom bristle.

Boy, aren't those scissors huge? Come in here, please. Don't mind. Isn't it exciting to be in line for four hours? Look at that broom. Look how big. Take a picture with that broom

while you're in line. Don't forget to visit the gift shop. Everything's regular size there, though. The only time I've ever seen it where the waiting area far surpassed the ride was the waiting area for the Tower of Terror.

Oh, really? The Twilight Zone ride. because like it was a rad like you just walked up to this weird hotel they had Twilight Zone shit everywhere which was cool and then the ride is just an elevator kind of falls for a second and that's the end of that. It's a 90 second ride

I did that a couple years ago we went to Disney and me and my wife still in business then huh? It is it was and because you know you get in the ride you get in the elevator you go all the way up and then it goes it gets dark and it's like the Twilight Zone like the little stars and stuff like it looks at the

opening, and I swear to God, this woman behind us, it's something that my wife, and I quote, all the time, went, they made it look like nighttime. I swear to God. That's got to be the average person at Disney, right? That's how they're like. They made the audience smaller.

These are magicians that work. Just magicians. How'd y'all make it nighttime? It's daytime. Oh, my God. I was so surprised how they made it nighttime. I almost spilled all my spicy cats. the awe in her voice is just so adorable i'm sorry i just got to know how did you make it look like night oh my god y'all walt disney world controls the sun

i still have never been to any disney i kind of want to go now that they're the star wars stuff and just get ripped oh that would be a fucking dangerous drunk mania being there as an adult and just getting hammered is really fun oh man and there's but there's kids around day. There are, but yeah. You're just smack them the head. We're going to shell out for that Star Wars Hotel when it's all up and running. I would love to do it, do it, man. Yep, yep. I'm going to go on my own little private

space mission. Can you have people in like, EWalk suits come in like Fiji shit? Oh, I would love that. Oh, my God, they made the little bears walk. How'd you do that? It's a fucking EWalk smoking a cigarette. Just, honey, they're

magicians. Just magicians that make these little bears give us food. It's an old magical place on earth. It was night time in the day. Night time in the day. Are y'all taking the night time ride? Oh my God. Y'all Disney World bends the

will of our Lord God. Yeah, Disney is kind of an affront to the Lord. It is. Not that I have an issue with, but like maybe physically it doesn't make a ton of sense. How they get out of the garbage bag? I feel like the... There's a shot of like the little knife.

Yeah, but I'm gonna be Ron's got that knife in his pocket. But something about like, I don't know, I just feel like the, the knife would be shrunk to such a level where the outer outer layer of the garbage bag, depending on there. But he's a young boy, he can penetrate stuff. He's got, you know, he's probably got more bigger than I do. What you don't see.

God damn. I mean, the thing that's weird is you don't see what's happening, which clearly would be happening, especially with the way Rick Rannis is whipping around this fucking trash bag, they'd be flying all over the place. Broken bones and such. He like, he doesn't like slam it down,

but he really like tosses the garbage bag down on the ground. You're telling me none of these kids crack their skull on a chicken bone. Exactly. Come on now. Yeah. They get out and they're in the backyard. And Nick, being a little genius,

decides that they're about a quarter of an inch high and does the math. The backyard's about three months. miles away. Right. The house is they have to walk. Yes, I'm sorry. It's the equivalent.

Their tininess means the walk will be the equivalent of walking three miles. Amy, you might have to do the sight on this. Dad's machine melted my glasses into my face. I don't know what the. Oh, boy. I mean, that's a good question too, man, because like this thing is set up for like apples and chairs. A human body, Lord knows what that would do to it.

It's, yeah. I don't know. Oh, yeah. Like almost any movie like this, I really want the movie that happens after this where they find out all that happens to when you shrink and then re-biggin your organs like that. Yeah, yeah. What kind of damage you're getting into right there? Oh, totally. Dude, you got, you got an enlarged heart. This could be a Kronenberg movie for sure. Oh, yeah. Cullen like a water slide after that.

Just fucking nothing's holding. Oh, God. You can hear the wind rustle through there. Yeah, it's like the beginning of sleeping out. Woo. Yeah, so they're in the big backyard And they're a big backyard in it The first Oh, it's a dinosaur

Yeah, it's a toy That's pretty That's something Something's Again, it's another thing For the waiting room for the ride I like the piss river There's a river of piss

It's not confirmed that it's piss It's probably smelling though, right? But that like dog piss Like that big would melt your bones You know what I mean? Oh my nice, Chicago's do nothing. It's like a xenophore.

Learn from inner space. The fucking guy gets melted in the piss. Oh, fuck, dude. I got to revisit inner space. I love that as a kid. Interspace is a wild fucking movie. A little scary. It is.

Oh, dude, at the end when like everyone becomes like sort of half children, it's just terrified. That's very much scary. That's a Joe Dante space. A spice. And, you know, they're just going around. I think the first adventure is Nick gets stuck

in the pollen and the, B situation happens. Yeah, yeah. And he's allergic to pollen and, uh, I'm too small to breathe it. No, you'd be dead. You would kill you. It would be that much, you'd be dead. Yeah. It would find a way in. And I mean, he sneezes right after that. And it's like, all right, dude, so it's already inside you. Kaking the inside of your lungs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're dead. Many dead children. That's probably what the fucking original thing was. Dead kids. Dead small kids. Dead teeny wienies. Cold teeny wienies. he uh the cold tykes club yeah there you go uh to quote chris cabin i love there's a lot of members

of that club quite a lot every day it grows it does we got terrible infant mortality rate in this country we don't talk about it enough we don't yeah no we got a lot of dead kids on our hands oh yeah what we're at what we're telling you is we need funds for the cold tikes club which we are doing some fundraising for yep you can't shrink that audience you can find out more about that club at the con con donations there there's a bit that kind of happens

a little before the flower thing but we can pick back up there at a second but what I did not expect this movie to have is a fucking to have and have not reference when they're talking about

like oh well you know what we could do which they wind up doing like at the very end of the movie but they're like oh we could call the dog court can come out we'll jump on top of him and he can ride us to the house

let's start whistling for him Oh right And so they're all whistling And then like Amy's like Oh little Russ Like why aren't you whistling or whatever And you know Ron is like Because you can't whistle

And she goes You know how to whistle You just put your lips together and blow The Lauren Bacall line from to have and have not Like what is going Also like I'm gonna remember that A 1989 Andrew remembered that You better believe it, dude.

So you're telling me I'm in. Yeah. So you're telling me I'm in. Don't got to do nothing. Oh, great. Yeah. Oh, so you're treating me like Humphrey Bogart to your Lauren Bacall. Oh, got it.

She said blow to me. I still can't whistle. Never could, never will. Really? Cannot whistle. It's almost like a, it's not like a blow for me. It's more of a suck. Yeah.

No, I can't really whistle. I can whistle both blowing in and inhaling air. Wow. I think we just got, we got the Polish mouths. welcome back to the Polish mouth Ah yes Scientific discovery that the Polish mouth Is not fit for whistling

Although I think my father It's only fit for sausage I think my father could do it But like I think it was like You put like It was one of those finger jabbers Oh you did a finger guy Oh the old like you put like

Yeah I can't do any of that shit You could fucking like stop taxing his tracks My mouth on its own Excellent dude Once I get finger stuff in there not as great. I'm not sure if we could be talking about

because actually a Polish mouth is the number one triple X site in Poland. It's very popular with the populace. So Nick gets stuck in the B. This is one of many times where Russ impresses Amy by saving Nick.

He goes in and you know he kind of grabs him up and then the Bs come and then they start riding this B the B I mean like it's you know obviously what he called their the composite it shot kind of a thing. Yeah. But it's cool. I like them riding the B. It's it's a weird thing where like you're looking at it and they're doing you know like zooming in and out on it which is helping

with the rear projection like they're doing a thing to make it look better than they could have done you know. I think they should be lost longer and like maybe they should reunite in the house because when they do finally reunite which is not that further along in the film it's like oh here oh you're in the yard too. Which just seems like what are the odds? It flew all the way around the yard. Exactly. Maybe they have to like, maybe they get out and they're like, okay, well, it's still make it for the house and they enter Matt Fruer's house.

And then they have to be like, oh, fuck, we have to like double back and do this whole thing. Maybe they have to scale that fence or something. Totally. Yeah. Anything to get something to look at besides all of the blades of grass, which is my biggest problem with all of this. I mean, the bee thing happens. It takes a while.

Nobody dies. While this is, while the bee thing has happened. there is a great, like Rick Moranis is he's home, he's looking for the kids, and he's out in the backyard, and there's a great bit of Matt Furr behind him being like, Hey, Zelensky! And the fucking look

on Rick Moranis' face of like, God damn it, I fucking hate this guy so much. Double family annihilator. I'll annihilate my family and his. But then, yeah, this is like the bees attack, and Rick Moranus is trying to hit this bee with the baseball bat, and he's freaking out and like this is the cool like he stops and he's like wait a second my nerdy son doesn't play baseball

what's this doing in the yard and like the whole rick moranison like the first is like the first-ish second actish of this movie is like him trying to solve the mystery of where the kids are and he's kind of putting it together like oh they were with the neighborhood kids what's going on baseball bat yeah he figures out that they threw them out and then he does that's that's him doing the hammock bit but just fine i feel like he would find them i don't know Like I feel like you'd be able to find these kids. Sure. Like you're there the whole day with the magnifying glass.

The lawn isn't that big. You could also do like a scene where like a giant shadow eclipses their part of the yard. That's a big problem I have with like kind of when he is in the harness thing. There's one scene where the kids are all walking and then like that scene ends. And the camera just sort of like tilts up. And you see Rick Moranis fly over and it's like they would see him. Yes. Like it's a big tower.

guy flying over them? Sure, but I just think it's bad timing because he's got the divorce on his mind. And most of his mind now is taken up by, like, he's just looking through this grass, small audience, shrunk my audience. I didn't shrink any audience. I'll shrink him.

I'm gonna fucking find him and kill him. So you hear that like echoing all around you. That's drowning out all the, you're pleased for help. We can't reach him. Dad's busy yelling about who he wants to murder. It's like McGruber, uh, repeating the fucking license plate number and just,

he's got a no fucking, it's like, shrunk the audience, shrunk the audience, shrunk the audience, shrunk the audience. Uh, dad just keeps yelling jerk store and we can't get a fucking word through. At some point the wife comes home and she's like, oh, I guess you cleaned up. It looks like shit here. And he's like, yeah, I can't find the kids. I guess they went to the mall. And she's like, she does a thing like, oh, I sold the whatever house.

Oh, great, hon. My fucking careers and tatters. And she's like, well, you know, and it takes a. while. She's like, you know, I'm going to go find the kids in the mall because I'm a little nervous. She's like, the people are coming over for the house. I need you to give them this paper. And she does this and it's a real, can you do that?

It's a very pointed like, you can't get it up anymore. You can't fucking pay the mortgage. Can you at least hand someone a piece of paper? Is that in your realm of possibility? Rick Moranis? I put it in a folder for you.

I wasn't going to trust you to put it. I did it for you to make sure it happened this way. hand it over to them. It's fine. Yeah, it's the Borstein's are coming to get their documents for buying this house. It is a crazy thing. She's like, I sold the

whatever estate or something. Like she had a big windfall today at work. Meanwhile, this guy fucking brought home a frozen turkey and lost the children. That's the thing is, I have to assume the big sale is what makes her not freak out about these fucking kids. You left these kids alone with this

idiot husband of yours. Yep. And they're gone. Nowhere to be found. They're supposed to be leaving. The other ones are supposed to be leaving for a trip. I'd be freaking the fuck out. It's kind of crazy, though. Like, how long, like this scene with her coming home and looking at the house made me start

wondering how long she's actually been gone. Months. This house looks disgusting. Yeah. It looks really bad. And she's surprised. And I think she's been gone for a long time, dude. Oh, yeah.

She's been drinking tequila, watching Thumb and Louise in a nice little fucking cup. Yeah. Getting her cooking. and stuffed. Dad, how could she get grandmas when grandma died a couple years ago? She's another grandma. You don't know her. You never matter.

Grandma Colin is taking care of her. We found a receipt for a place called Rancho Relaxo. The idea of Grandma Colin, I'm now imagining now Colin has to find himself in a Mrs. Doubtfire-esque scenario. My kids are coming. You have to pretend to be a grandmother. Or how about like a ray that turns people into grandmas? Oh, I like that. The

rampie ray, you know. Honey, I grampied the kids. Yeah. It like accelerates you like 50 years. An age ray you're talking about. I guess that would be it, right? For those who want to live like one more year and that's it, like we'll turn you into a grampie. Don't worry about it. I think, but you know, it would be, I guess it would be more profitable doing the opposite. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. Degrampify me. Yeah. Yeah. I think. I think. Peter Thiel's working on that. I think the only one who would take up the offer the way you're doing it is like Spike Jones and Johnny

Knoxville. Yeah, yeah. Just for a gag. Dr. Kavorkian if he was still around. Love that guy. They're just running around blades of grass a lot. There is so the sprinkler comes on. Rick Marnas is out

with like, he's on stilts with like binoculars tied to a fucking bicycle helmet trying to find these kids. He accidentally turns the sprinkler on so like the kids are getting bombarded it's like the fucking blitz all this water's falling down and this is where amy gets knocked off a bladed grass into this goop river and this kid jumps in big russ or little russ jumps into savor and we're getting some cpr oh man where did you learn that french class this drawing i did chris i did a drawing for french class he actually did

folks. It's a disgusting drawing of tongues. It's pretty good, right? I mean, you're not supposed to... I'll post it on I'll post it on my Twitter when the episode comes out. But yeah. Oh my God. It's two tongues and lips

caressing each. Dude, it looks like two clams tongue kissing. You can find Eric's Tumblr page at Deviant Arc. Siskaite. You're right. You're right. You're right. These these lips are waiting for some pearls if you know what I mean.

you, but you aren't supposed to put your tongue in anyone's mouth what you're doing CPR as I understand it. Nope. You're supposed to actually. The tongue helps clear out the throat. You clearly did not take the class on erotic. Your tongue has to scoop out the stuff that's in the way, you know? Look, yes, you're saving their life, but you could also be making them hot is what you

could be doing at the same time. But if you arouse them as you're doing that, they have a much higher success. rate of waking up. They could bolt right up. I mean, it's a weird thing where, like, he makes that joke. And I guess, like, you're to believe he was just winging it through this whole thing. Because there are no chest

compressions. No. It's just him putting his mouth on her mouth. Yes. So, a little bit of half-assery here. That kid with the big glass is saying, where'd you learn artificial respiration? I just like saying artificial respiration. It's a CPR, dude. It's a CPR. Guys, he's a nerd.

Yeah, I know that. No, no. It's It's proven. Kissing and biting the neck, helps the lungs inflate again. Also, just prior to this, the fishing French, oh, that sounds like French class. Fishing friends show up to go with Matt Fruer and he has to turn them down. Instead of just saying my kids are missing, he's like, time of the month with the wife. Yeah. Oh, dude, and it's disgusting too. He's like, oh, my wife hasn't been feeling well. Plumbing. Oh, dude.

And did you notice who plays? the guy who they're going on the fishing trip with. The guy, I think you gotta see the baby. Yes, yeah, it's the Hampton's guy from Seinfeld. Lucy Moran, of course, from Twin Peaks. He's also a patient, zero and arachnophobia. He's the dude who fucking eats

it. Oh, fuck. Yes. Oh, that's a stay tuned. It's going to drive me insane watching that movie again. I can't do spiders. I love that movie. No, nothing against the movie. I'm just saying. God level. Yeah. But so whatever.

So he brings her back to life and she's like, maybe I will fuck this kid. Maybe I will. So they're walking around. This is when Moranis erects his hammock situation. And Matt Drew was like that fucking weirdo Zelensky. I bet he kidnapped my kid. I can see it all over his face right now. Yeah, he calls the cops at one point to report the missing children.

But again, wouldn't you be, if this guy's your neighbor, wouldn't you be calling the fucking things exploding all the time. Up in the middle of the night with a laser blasting out his window. Well, I think that's part of the problem, right? It's like, Matt Fruer's got to watch it when he calls the cops because he's called the cops on the Zolensky house like so many times already that

it's like, yeah, yeah, buddy. He blew up another thing in the attic. Got it. Look, we can't just come around for another dead dog. Okay? We understand there's lots of dead pets around there. We can only do so much. back down in Little World

you know yes Amy has been saved and they try to do she and Ron have been kind of like yes battling back and forth so she does a she comes up to him and everybody it's one of those like

okay we all just realized how precious life is now let's all like tone down take the temperature down a little bit here and she goes up to him and she's like look truce how about a truce

and she sticks her hand out and he's like okay and then it's like a mud hand thing. You know that kid is remembering this mud hand thing for the rest of his days. I love, I do love how this kid's like, well, the Zelensky family's gonna be in jail. And I'm like, you've got a point there.

Should be. Yeah, she fucking rocks it though and she turns around and she's like, oh yeah. Well, guess what? My dad's invention works and we're going to be fucking rich and I'm going to be able to buy your stupid shitty family. And it shuts him right off Then he's like, oh, I've actually loved your family.

So you're so great. Your dad's a great guy. It's like, dude, I want her to drown this kid in this little fucking goop river. Well, that's it because for Russ is missing, Russ and Nick are missing. It's just the two of them. They're bickering. If she killed that kid, it was like, oh, an aunt came and just. Oh, you should have seen it.

It was just, oh, man, it's terrible. It's horrifying. Oh, fuck, that'd be great. That's a good idea. That's her secret, like, her secret shame of having murdered this. Yeah. in general for murder it works so well

to have a shrink rate just for the evidence you know totally yeah but it does tell you the tone of the movie like that you're allowed that she's allowed

to say like my family is gonna buy and sell your family and you're supposed to still like her yes like as the movie goes on but this kid sucks shit

dude I don't care what gets thrown his way I'm just thinking about taking little corpses and just throwing them in the toilet be so cool

I'm gonna keep you shrunk and then I'm gonna to shrink your whole family, and then I'm going to flush you all, like, goldfish. And you know, honestly, you should dice them with a butcher knife first. So there's no way of ever being like, what's this tiny skeleton doing this sewer? No one will ever be the wiser. You'd have to like do something for the teeth, though. That'd be very different.

Oh, it's always the teeth. Well, you keep those as like mementos. Well, what would you do? You'd have to take like a little toothpick and then start hitting that with a hammer. A little chisel. It would take a while. Yes, we're announcing today. I can't believe we're doing this.

We're using the Zelensky Ray to create tiny FBI. We will be going around. I would watch Tiny. Right. It would be amazing. That could be like a new Stranger Things kind of show. People would love it. It's just an easier way to collect DNA.

I don't know what to tell you. I can't believe we're doing this. Fuck. Hey, man, you want to stay over tonight? My episode of Tiny FBI's on. I thought that was called Teeny Weenie FBI. Yeah, they changed it. A lot of weirdos out there.

Look, it's not a very good title. We don't like small IA either. Oh, look at that little fucker. Awesome. He's up to no good. Dude, so finally, like, Rick Moranis has to come clean. And he's like, Diane, he gives the titular, honey, I shrunk the kids. He does not say honey, I shrunk the kids.

He's just, no honey in there at all. It's like a Darth Vader thing. It's not, there's not a honey. No, I don't think so. I paid a lot of attention to that. Interesting. Yeah, she doesn't allow him to call her. Yeah, it's just sort of like, that's what Colin is allowed to call me now.

Miss, I shrunk the kid. Mistress, I shrunk the kids. Madam. And so she starts freaking out. And in that very moment, the cops ring the door because she has already called being like my children are missing. Well, because that's the thing. They have this whole interview with the whatever, the Russs. The Thompson's, the two cops.

And they're like, oh, you know, kids run away sometimes. They're not taking it too seriously. They get in their cruiser and they're about to go. like, another set of missing kids next door. And then I'm like, okay, so a snatcher is on the loose. These kids have been snatched. This is a big problem. It is like, you've got to call

for backup. There's a snatcher. Don't say kids snatch. Kid. Kid snatch, baby. I'm driving my van all around your street. It's a kid snatch. We're arresting the BA 52. It's fine. I'm taking your kids and putting them to sleep.

It's a kid snatch, baby. B-52s get 52 years in prison. 52 non-consentative life sentence. There you go. One for each kid, Fred Schneider snatched off the street. No, Fred Schneider didn't do anything to anybody.

I'm kidnapping all of your kids. It's like the Pied Piper because his music was so alluring. He's just blasting Planet Z out of the fucking speakers. And so the cookie happens. well what I was saying that's fucking crazy and these worthless cops in this movie like he's like oh you must be mistaken

our kids are in the backyard right honey and this woman faints she falls backwards and faints and then Rick Moranis is like well have a nice day and closes to the door and these cops are like well that all appears fine yeah we just got two

missing kid reports in a row we didn't actually see the children and the wife fainted. Sure. Yep. They're buried in the backyard. You know, this happened a few weeks ago. Kids turned out fine. We're going to, it's fine. Don't worry about it. But yes, we find a stray oatmeal cream cookie. Oh, man, I loved these things growing up. This is a thing was like, it's one of those like food movie things. You know what I mean? Where you're like, oh, man,

I want to do that. Yeah. I love to be. I want to do that. I'd love to be inside a fucking huge cream cookie pie thing like that. Yeah. I was going to say if you just want to eat a fucking dirty oatmeal cookie. That hard. Those options are available. Look, I'll throw a cookie on the ground and you can fucking take it. This is when the ant shows up, the titular

and they're scared of it at first, but then they realize they can dominate it. Yeah, they beat the shit out of this hand. Oh, yeah. The John Candy treatment on this thing. It's like the rider, man. You've got to fucking break this hand. Domesticate it.

But then Amy, like all the boys are beating up the thing, but Amy realizes as well. More flies with honey. She grabs the big thing of cream and the aunts like, this fucking Frank Welker horse shit. I know it's probably not Frank Welker maybe it is. But like, it's Welker.

Is it? Is it? Welker's at the bottom of it. So it's a thousand percent Welker. Yeah. So it's like, you know what, dude? Fuck off with this end. I'm a big fan of saying fuck off to this end. But it's too late, dude. He's already warmed your heart. I know he has. It's a

Disney horse shit. It sucks for. I know it's sucks falling for it. I know, but I fall for it every fucking time. Yes, us and our humongous ant dog that we will be bringing around for the rest of this. I mean, the aunt adds something to the movie, you know, it's, we're doing, we're doing something. Well, the idea is like, oh, you know, we'll get there so much faster. It's like, not really, it seems like you're going the exact same pace, but you're not really walking. You're just not

walking. And that's the, that's the, and I know they're like up against obstacles or whatnot, but, oh, sure. But like, again three miles you can walk three miles in a day exactly they're they were like oh my god it's three miles to the house that's not a big no it's not also ants on flat land move like it's not like they're just like

he is kind of going at his own pace there isn't wait a minute it's like Nick Nalti pace well he's like an Uber driver he's like taking them in the wrong way it's like no no no the bad that way yeah that always happens with Uber drivers if you don't dangle the cookie in front of it. Yeah, the cookie of a fucking

five-star rating, dude. No, that's right. But so they're just going with this aunt. It's adorable now. I love the, there's an ongoing thread which, you know, kind of plays into here

of big Russ like smoking. There's a great Matt Fruer thing where he sits down on their like back patio and he puts a cigarette in his mouth and the wife has a great like, Ross, you're not smoking a cigarette, are you? And he like flips it out.

It's great met for physical comedy. So he does that again. He's really like sweating it. He's worried about his kids. But this is a dick move. Smoking this cigarette and he's watching Rick Moranis. Because I think at this point, both Wayne and Diane are both on the, the cot hammock thing, laundry things. I did.

There's one moment where Rick Moranis is counterweight to this hammock thing is a Zenith television. Yeah, totally. It's really problem. me back. We had, we had a zenith or Xenith or whatever it's called. Oh, we had a big old Zinich. Oh, yeah, dude. Those are ground sitters. Well, yeah, those things are much heavier than Rick Moran.

Yeah, that's true. There must have been hollowed out of this Hollywood bullshit. But Matt Fruer watches this while he's having a smoke and he flicks the cigarette into the Zelensky's yard man. I'm like that, dude. Take that Polack. I can say that

word. I'm going to burn down that Polack's yard also Polish, by the way. Yeah, that's your word. That's right. It's our word. I got in trouble. I had an AIM name that was Raging Polack for a while. And my dad was like paying by AOL bill.

Like, well, that's not nice. And it was like, wait, how did the screen name come up on the bill? It just did for some reason. However, AOL used to. Raging Polack ordered a bunch of porno on the internet. You know what he's raging for? It's pornography. I'm just amazed that that's the thing

your dad had a problem with all the things I've heard about your dad's a good point but I do love this is this is a one of the last times I feel in American cinema you saw children warming themselves by the beautiful musky warming glow of a delicious

cigarette and camel baby they are kind of doing a bunch of like ew gross cigarettes oh it's dad's brand wait um now strangely starting to like it wait wait let's puff on the end of it now I need another one and another one dude that's actually right just think about it

like the size of that thing you take one inhale they fucking got their hooks in you dude big tobacco they use it as a torch to when they find their I'm always like and this happens in movies and it makes sense sometimes but whenever a movie goes to sleep

I'm just sort of like this is kind of bringing the whole movie down like the bed time for the movie it happens to Jurassic Park as well it's just sort of like and I get it like you want time to pass like maybe just don't show them like going to bed

and being quiet and going to sleep that's the whole like ritual of getting ready for bed exactly like the longer you drag that out the more that I'm like well shit that looks good well that's not taking that it's always like exposition dumping ground those scenes

like it's been a long day remember what we all did you idiots were not following the movie so here what just happened in this movie. They find a huge Lego. It's a two-pronger. The boys are in the top of Russ, little Ronnie and Nicky.

And he's like, well, you should take the bottom rung there a la sleep on the ground. But here's the thing. Like you get a look at these little, these little Lego tubes that they're in. They go back, man. That's deep. So like she could be at the one end.

He could be at the other. No one's going to accidentally. You also don't have to sleep in the tube. There's also the bottom. The outer part, the casing. You can sleep there too. You want to get deep inside of... No, never mind.

This gets trying to... Dude, got a H.J. Inside of a Lego once, man. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's like talking to his buddy. He's like, what do you think, Larry? You can't fucking say that. I got jerked off inside of a Lego piece.

Yeah, that's a round of Never Have I ever that he would win every time. Totally. So, anybody ever shoot inside of a Lego before? Inside. Not on. Not around, inside. No, Russ Jr. You know that we haven't,

so I guess we'll all take a sip of beer. Yes, no, I've also never ridden an ant. Jesus Christ, he always brings up his shrinking adventure. And I get wasted. Yeah, back in Big World, I think this is where Matt Fruer, they bring in the other family in on this, show him the tiny couch. And they don't believe it.

And there's a great Matt Fruhrer line that this, he says it in the attic in front of him. this guy's a waste of skin. Dude, but inches away from Wayne Zelensky's saying this, it's fucking great. And Diane just shudders with like the realization. He's so right. God damn it. I hate

that I'm agreeing with Big Russ Thompson. She said the same thing last night actually. She said my dick was a waste of skin. Have you been talking? Are you calling? Oh my God. And then there's like a line about like

did they shrink or did you just blow them up well honey if I blew them up there'd be pieces of them every that's really funny that's so great that's a great Maranis delivery right there like so matter of factly you know yeah not understanding how horrifying of an image it is

meanwhile back in the little world you know so we're all go to bed the kids are just you know now Russ is really making some moves on what's their face there Amy sure and there is some like full on open mouth making out in this movie and it took me by surprise last night. Dude. They're like, oh, they kiss.

It's like a cute little kid. It's like, no, it's French class, man. Turned to the cruel intentions for five fucking seconds. I did a drawing of it while posted online. It's crazy because like you're watching the movie and they're making out that all of a sudden in the background, you just hear like, I would die for you.

I would cry for you. Just a real sexy fucking makeout music. I actually miss her fucking date with Paul Tate. She's got to take all that energy somewhere, baby. I love the constant referencing of Paul Tate because it gave me a big Laurie Strode waiting for what's his name

Ben Tramer. Ben Tramer. Paul Tate also was killed by Dr. Loomis in the subsequent film. I kept that thing of Jim Holt. Paul Tate.

Yes. Steve Holt. Oh, Steve Holt. But they're just full on makeup. At due date's 1989. I'm under 10 years old

and I'm watching this like, holy fuck. And how old are these actors in this? I checked. She was at least 18. she was like 18 maybe on the dot

I don't know about the other kid yeah interesting all right at least we got an 18 on the board I guess I yeah but I mean the open mouth kissing it just made me like I know kids do it

doesn't mean I need to watch kids do it all the time I would wager they do it more than we do yep yeah and I prefer I honestly prefer something like this than like now where you get like the over sexualization in the script yeah like you just get one scene of like yes

teenagers wanting to make out with each other as compared to like all these things about dicks but dicks I mean it's kind of interesting right because like all it is in that moment is your like teenage libido going at it because they got nothing else going

for them they've been trunk down they've been crawling through this yard they're both disgusting they're both covered in shit there's nothing sexy about it really you're coming to the conclusion you are probably going to die small and in this yard might as well fuck this loser who lives next

door to me. That's right. Coming to the conclusion. There you go. Hey, Ronnie, I think they're banging down there. So the scorpion attacks. The scorpion attacks. I don't know where this thing comes from. It fucking broke out of Ray Harryhausen's garage. Is there a deleted thing where it was like one of them had that as a pet and it came out? I don't know. That would make more sense. That'd be great. Are there not scorpions in

California? That's what we're saying. Maybe there are. Just in the fucking backyard in a suburb. Listen, people are commenting on this right now. I live in a scorpion-infested hell hole. You can't get any good Italian food. And I'm offended by this episode. Like I'm saying, if it was Nevada, I'd understand it at least. Yeah, I need some like sand somewhere.

Yeah, please. I do. This literally looks like the burbs, like Joe Dates the burbs. This area. I do appreciate when the scorpion yells get over here. That was kind of cool. Totally, yeah. He's whipping that little piece of rope out of stuff.

That's not too good. Wayne Zavinsky. Amy Zardinsky. The aunt like helps. Yes. As in helps by taking a bullet to the brain from this fucking scorpion. Totally. There's like a thing like

earlier on when like they release the ant from its bondage and like go home, go see your mom. And it's important here. It's little Ron like Ron Thompson is the one that really bonds with this thing. Yeah. He does the like get out of here. Nobody won't exactly like, I'm not watching Harry and the

Henderson's. Could we stop with this effing hand? But I mean, even in that movie, dude, you're fucking crying over a monkey man. It's the same thing. Yeah, I mean, Nick has, again, he's smart enough. He's like getting up mowing thing going. Disgusting shit boy has nothing except for the aunt, who is also a disgusting shit creature, I guess. Yeah, that's true. It's the first time he's

respected life at all. That's the thing. The ante, as he calls him, right, was like the thing that made this kid not be a serial killer. And then he sees it murdered before his very eyes. Sometimes you've got to get small to do some growing. Wow. He divorces his wife in the future because she like sweeps up some ants in the house. Oh, she's got the spray going. Oh, man.

I kill ants all the time. Really? Oh, yeah, yeah. There's, you know, they're around. and I put down, like, poison food for them. Really? Yeah, all around outside my apartment. We had an end problem in our old apartment.

Cinnamon works very well. Oh, yeah. To keep them away? Do they get high, like, in Dune? I think it's all that. I think it's also, like, repellable, like, ew, cinnamon. Ew, this will ruin your coffee. Ew, don't put it in your coffee.

You call them sugar-loving little freaks. Those sugar-loving. little freak saved my life once. Totally, dude. Just weeping on the floor. Andy, oh my God, Andy. And that's what's happening here.

This kid is crying his eyes out. He might, because now this is a proven technology being shrunken. Will he just go live his life amongst the ants? Oh, that's cool. Yeah.

And then be ripped apart inside the fucking you get down one of those ant hills, I'm sure. I would love that dude, right? It's like, you know, like he came back from fucking Vietnam or something.

And it was just like he's rambo and he's like, nope. Now I got to go back. I got to go live in the jungle, man. It's the only place I know now. Exactly. He's got like, Ron is like, excuse me, Mrs. Zelensky, I need you to shrink me back down, man. It's the only way I can live is in your backyard. Everything is far too tiny for me now. I try to pick up a pencil. I'm like, that should be huge. All of my ants are dead. Yeah, it's like you're institutionalized by being small and you can't function outside of that institution of being small. Well, yeah. He becomes like, grizzly man. He thinks he's going to become part of

the society and then they just tear him apart. You must never listen to this tape featuring the ants. You can't hear anything. It's quiet. You really can't hear a thing. But they should bury this ant if they love him so much. Yep. Yeah. Give him a proper burial.

Maybe take like a couple little things of grass and form a little crucifix with it. A little burial marker there. Totally. They put them all, they take all the grass. They lay on the grass and then they take that cigarette thing again and light them Viking funeral for the ant. I love that.

The whole backyard goes up. You want to fucking get the attention of fucking regret. Exactly. That's true. Light some shit on fire. That's, ooh, that's, they don't do that, do that. They got the little cigarette pieces right there. They should have done it. So they take the dog back, right? Is that? Oh, no. Actually, no, this is the, uh, the kid

comes over to do the lawn mowing bit. And this is when the lawnmower always dices all these kids. They go through the lawnmower, which is crazy. and they dodge the blade and get shot out the side of it. That's how it is. Which I didn't remember. You would love it if they got Brian used it

to do the commentary on the thing. It's like, oh yeah, I was supposed to be a bloodbath in this scene. It was supposed to be all over the place. Oh, yeah, guts. We had a whole fucking thing going. And that was the end of the movie. The credits is just, you know, that's it.

I mean, we end in divorce court and Rick Moranis being left alone in the court after everybody else leaves. That was actually the ending of the movie we had. He's like, it was going to be really abrupt You see, they were going to shoot out the side of the lawnmower and then the splatter up against the side of the patio was just going to say the end in all the kid's guts.

But actually, yeah, there's a rule that we invented and also Rick Moranus alludes this earlier in our script is that when you die, you revert to your actual size. So they go through the lawnmower blades very tiny but come out as huge blood and guts and spray the side of the house. Do you remember the ending of taxi driver? It's about a similar tableau.

Mix that. with the end of Fargo and that's what we were going for there. But meanwhile Zalinski has fixed his thing and fallen asleep and the wife is like, I love you, Wade Zalinska. What? Dude, in a movie

where little children are shrunken down to a quarter of an inch high, that's the most unbelievable part of the movie. Maybe because he invented this, they're going to be rich. Yeah, she sees the dollars. She doesn't love it.

love Wayne Zelensky so much as she loves Wayne Zelensky's checking account. This could solve the supply chain issues, so shrink everything down, it's suddenly easier to move. But I feel like they've already been working on because Amy says another shitty thing to Russ. She's like well, I'm not, I was

too cool for you, but now I'm not. Now I'm not. Now it's fine. Because he says, she's like, why didn't you ever talk to me? This is right before they make out. And he's like, why didn't you ever talk to me? And she, or he's, she asked that. And he says, Well, I always thought you were too cool to notice me.

And she's like, you know what? I was. And I guess that was wrong. You were a speck of insignificant shit. But now that I've been struck down to a speck of insignificant shit, I guess, wow. I was supposed to date Paul Tate. You know who Paul Tate is. Yeah, he replaced me on the football team.

If you, if you have ever, ever dated, I don't know, Lisa Morgan, maybe I pay attention. But, oh, shit, Lisa Morgan. God, God. But so whatever, they find their way back to the patio. They get inside the house. And this is the big, the cereal. We find ourselves in some cereal. We do the cereal.

It's a milky situation. Oh, my God. I almost ate my own child. It would be so cool. We did. I was a vore on my child. That's cannibalism. That bite of cheers had a little copper taste to it.

I don't know what that. A little crunchy, too. Dude, I, like, he realizes it, right? And, like, put it down. Totally. Like, there is not enough instant throwing up. I collect his little bones from my feces and we'll give him a burial. It's like he sees him and because the dog realizes what's going on, like bites his ankle.

And he notices the kid like in the spoonful. But there isn't the immediate, like, oh, maybe that wasn't the. first one. I could have been eating children this whole time. The freak out is not what it needs to be. I agree. But then they find everybody and whatever and we get everybody upstairs. There is a cool

Matt Fruer being like, you're not going to try this on my kids without knowing if it works. He like volunteers himself to be shrunken and then, you know, resize. This is funny though. Matt Fruer is getting the best sex of his wife. Are you kidding?

Yeah, just a parade. before he gets. I love the great bit where his hat now fits differently. Yes, that's really funny. He's still, he's a little smaller than he was. That's kind of great. Yeah. Because that, that little worm next door is, you know, he only redid, you only undid what he did. You know what he's like he's not a hero. Right. He's just fixing the problem. You, my friend, volunteered to be shrunk. Totally. You could have been splattered all over the room. Yeah. Hell, you might sit, you know, play your cards right. You might get Ms. Salinsky in there. Oh, dude. She might be ready. for it. Take that, Colin. Because that marriage

is over. Exactly. I want to join our healthy marriage. And so, you know, whatever. They bring the kids back. Everybody's doing big hugs. This movie ends so fucking quickly. Totally. You better get out of there before somebody finds out. Like, that's really sneaking

out quick. It's just, yeah, everyone gets re- re-biggined. There's a line that Amy has, is like, are you and dad okay? Dude, the first thing she says to the mother. It's just like, yeah, great. Well, now that you're not dead and we're going to be rich, we're doing just fine.

I was a little alarmed that the kids all hold hands when they get rebigined because I was like, I don't know, I've seen the fly. That's where the structures are going to get all fucked together. That's how you get your shunting, dude. It's just a big glob of children. Maybe that was the original ending. It's funny, I shunted the kids. The final form of Wilford Brimley and the thing. It's just four of them and like a big mouth at the top.

Or it's like fucking, you know, a little less, well, still totally disturbing, but they could come back like Bill Paxton and weird science. Hell yeah. And you're just that fucking monster bram grimmis thing. Could they hear us, do not hold hands? By the way, everyone has to be separate. Oh, no. Is this supposed to be like Thanksgiving week or something?

I think it is Thanksgiving. So the turkey happens. Well, I think it's like maybe just some little time later is past. Now the families are good friends. And yes, the Thanksgiving, we have the big turkey on the table. Right, that they've increased the size of. It's fun. And Amy and Little Russ are playing footsie.

Oh my God, that's going nuts, dude. This is like a weird old man kind of. And then you two play footsie because you're horny little teens. Yeah, it'll be so hot if your little teen feet touched it. It's the modern version of the train going into tunnel kids. It is so weird. And it ends with little Nick understanding what French class is getting it. Which is like cute.

And his dick grew five sizes that night. I'd rather have the iris out on the footsie than the iris out on this kid laughing about getting a tongue-kissing joke. Iris out on Nick's first boner. Yeah, totally. And the penis says, that's all, folks. That is all folks. That's the end of this movie.

Recommendations and final thoughts, Steve Saneck. I think it's a recommend for sure. It doesn't have any, like, it's not like great. I think that's the thing. It's not like this amazing wonderland of like really cool shit. Yeah. It is just like they shrink the kids. The kids kind of fuck around in the backyard and they get, you know,

some great practical effects and fun Rick Moranis, good match for her. It's a light recommend. It's definitely a good hangover movie. This is not a nostalgia buster. Like this movie doesn't like not hold up. It's just not great. No.

I mean, I recommend it absolutely because I do think it is the perfect example of a kid's movie. Yeah. Like this is works for like. If you're talking like 8 to 13 area, you've hit all the bases and you're not creeping me out, huge plus. And like Rick, like I said, I love Rick Maranis. I love fucking Matt Fruer, seeing them actually lead a movie.

It's nice. It's a nice thing to see. Eric Sisker. Yeah, it's a light recommend for me. I agree with what Steve said pretty much exactly. I think it's very innovative filmmaking from Joe Johnston here. I like a lot of these practical effects. But I'm a little underwhelmed by the main story.

line. But, Chris, you're right, it is a good movie for children. So it's a light recommend for you. Yeah, it's like, it's a kid's movie where, like, you don't feel like they're pandering. And, like, yes, adults can watch it and it's totally fine. Like, yeah, I'd recommend it. It's, it's brief. It would make a good hangover movie.

There's worse things you could show, you know, new parents out there, there's worse things that you could show kids, like, from your own childhood, you know, so what, and yes, Moranis and Fruer together on screen carrying this motion picture. Fuck me. I wish Matt Fruer got to do more shit because he kicks

total ass. One thing, if you are a big fruerhead like me, the original stand miniseries, he's the trash man. Yes. And he's fantastic in it. Totally. So if you got the time for that. It's very long. It's very, very long. You have to really like Gary Sinise. Matt Fruer also decent in

funny enough mentioning Zach Snyder, his Dawn of the Dead remake. He's kind of a Snyder guy. He's in Watchman too. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Oh, you know what? Now I'm just going to go on my for a brain, but no, he's, he's in Soderberg's the Nick. Oh, is he? He's one of

Clive Owens' characters like teachers or something like that. He's, he's got a huge beard. He's fantastic. A movie I've always wanted to do on this show, but I don't think it's available anywhere is the taking of Beverly Hills which is, it's this guy, it's this absolute nobody dude who plays an ex

football player and like Beverly Hills gets like, I don't know, something, something. They take it over by terrorists. The whole town? It's like a diehard-esque thing. And Matt Fruer is the funny other guy. Really?

And like this guy is like throwing footballs at people. It's an insane movie that I remember as a kid. I always wanted to revisit, but I don't think it's available anywhere. I think they might have recently blued it. I think they might have put it out in the way fine. Maybe you stay tuned. There you go. But that is going to do it for Honey I Shrunk the Kids.

Yes, directed by the great Joe Johnson from the Year of Our Lord, 1989. If you want more We Hate Movies, including a lot of Rick Moranis talk on our Ghostbusters, we love movies episode, head on over to patreon.com slash we hate movies. And on this very feed, stay tuned because next week the show continues with, oh

Steve, what are we talking about next week? It's, we're doing these back to back. These episodes, a little spoiler alert. I'm not looking forward to Chairman of the board. Yeah. A little carrots up for everyone. Totally. Totally. Little finally checking this one off. I've got a little

carrot top, a lot of carrot top. You get a lot of full fucking serving of carrot top. Don't be fucking little caratop, a piece of jack. So until next week, when you hear us go quite insane on the air live, I'm Andrew Juppen, Stephen St. Sanker. Eric Sis, Chris Cabin. Take it easy.

That was a headgum podcast.