We Hate Movies - S12 Ep585: The Matrix

Episode Date: December 28, 2021

On the final WLM episode of the month (and our final episode of the year!) we're chatting about one of the all-time great sci-fi/action masterpieces, The Matrix! How incredible is all this fight choreography? How much different (and worse) would this film have been with Will Smith in the lead? And how many of us cranked this rad and loud soundtrack back in 1999? PLUS: Is Agent Smith a Barenaked Ladies superfan? The Matrix stars Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, Laurence Fishburne, Hugo Weaving, Gloria Foster, Joe Pantoliano, Marcus Chong, Julian Arahanga, Matt Doran, Belinda McClory, and Anthony Ray Parker as Dozer; directed by Lana and Lilly Wachowski. Catch WHM's VIRTUAL live show on Mortal Kombat (2021)! Check out the WHM Merch Store - Just in time for the holidaze! Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

this week on the program. Get ready to get dialed in. It's the Matrix. I'm Major Jupin. Mr. Seda. Eric Siska. Chris Cabin. And we love movies. Hello, everyone. Welcome to We Love Movies. Thank you for tuning into the program. As always, that's right. This week, we are capping off We Love Movies Month with The Matrix from 1999 directed by Lana and Lily Wachowski. One of the fucking all-time bangers, I got to say. It's a masterpiece. Oh shit, Kevin's going fucking technical crazy. I just have to give us our, the soundtrack for the Matrix.

I mean, it's also very similar to that. Let's just start doing like some karaoke of Marilyn Manson right now. Oh, no. How about we do anybody else? Yeah, totally. Fucking Rob zombies on this soundtrack. Let's do that. Dragula, yeah.

Bangor of a rage needle drop at the end. Maybe the best ending needle drop. it's on there. It's a big one. It's quite exquisite. Like it like how often do you leave the theater like just ready to go? And then just get fucking your your expectations dashed by two movies. Yeah. I will say I think the difference between these this movie and its two sequels can really be said that the first two end with rage against the machine needle drops. The third one is this big choir horse shit like yeah. That's your problem. We were in a computer. Well, see, that's how humans sing, Chris. They use the operatic choir voices. And computers do, blop, blop, blop, blop, you know, the, right, you know, the first movie soundtrack.

They do a bomb track. Am I the only one in the room that has not gone back to the other two since we did our last episode on Revolution? Revolutions. Yeah, I watched all of them over Thanksgiving. We evaluated it. I thought I was going to start re-appraising. maybe liking those sequels more, but it just didn't happen for me.

Same here. I did. I watched this one first for our fine program here, and then I was like, let's just keep going. And I barreled through. I did three nights in a row. And I'm kind of in the same boat as Eric. I think I actually like the second movie a little less because, man, on 4K especially, those fucking graphics of him flying around look dreadful, ladies and gentlemen. And the third movie's just, just not for me. All the fucking war for Zion shit, I do not have interest in it. I, I rewashed all three. I think all of them went up one star for me and I don't think it's going to go from there. I think that's the end for it. The last one specifically, it's so uneven. That

movie drives me insane because like it concludes, like the big climactic moment happens about, I would say, a little after halfway through the movie is over. Reloaded doesn't even have like a resolution. It's just like, it's just like to be continued. Insert disc, disc, too. It ends on that shot of a dude you don't even remember. I guess years of being like ground down by Marvel shit has made me a little bit more

forgiving of shit like that. Here's here's the thing. I watched them in 2015 and I trust 2015 Steve three appraisal and I'm sure what that. 2015 Steve was just all right. Exactly. And before we get too far in 2021 I want to hit play really quickly.

Yeah. And it's the VHS trailer game. Could someone pull me out, pull me out of the Matrix? I need a fucking operator to get me out of here. I will leave you in. I will leave you in. This is how it's going to go. It's the VHS trailer game.

America's favorite game about obsolete materials. I am your Jammaster, Stephen Sadek, and these are my clues. We are here in the studio. We actually, there's a little bit of a wrinkle here. But I'm not, the way I think that we're going to do this, We haven't talked about this off air. We did do a live VHS trailer game this month in our amazing Bell House show on Shud. That's right.

There are points on the board, but I think we'll definitely release that episode before the end of this season. So I'm going to look, those points are going to come to that, that or those players when we release that episode. I think that makes, that makes total sense. By those players, you mean Andrew. Yes. Andrew. Don't spoil it for the people who weren't at the show. That's what I was trying not to.

do. But fucked it up. But so right now, Eric Siska has a monumental lead, which is exciting. Monumental lead. Steve, Jemaster, do you think that I might be the one?

You might be the one. You just see that movie. When I start talking movie trivia, you just see numbers and zeros and shit. See, the first season, everyone fails their first season. So the way this is going to go, is I'm going to give these gentlemen five clues, the first one with five

points, and then they go less than that. Game Master's Clue, Tribune Trivia, IMDB tagline, one star of the film, another star of the film. If you guess within that round and you get guessed incorrectly, you are out until the next trailer. There are four rounds, ladies and gentlemen, and I do want to be clear

about one thing here. I am going to be a stickler, because I think some of these might be easy, some of them might not be so much, but I want full titles. If there's subtitle, I want the subtitle. What am I taking the SATs here? I think the last one specifically,

I don't want to hear, oh, it's that one like that. Like that's not the answer I want. I want the title of the movie. I don't think you've ever accepted that kind of an answer. I know, but it's just, you know, I want to be a dick today. So, there you're off to a good start. So, uh-huh, round one, here we go.

Game Master clue. Part of the late 90s TV to movie craze. This movie, a period piece of sorts, was much less successful and memorable than the titular song that's bonded. Chris Cabin. My dog skip. It is not my dog skip. There's a song about that?

Yeah. Okay. Could you say the clue again? Sure. It's part of the late 90s TV to movie craze. This movie, a period piece of sorts, was much less successful and memorable than the titular song, It's called. Andrew Juppen.

The Mod Squad? It is not the Mons Squad. Eric Siska stands alone. Do you want to move on to another clue or do you want to hear that one more time? Well, the thing is, it's just like, so it's TV show to movie, but the song

was a hit. Is the vibe I'm picking up here. Yes. let's move on Motherfucker son of a fucking bitch yeah all right I'm gonna be glad to read this Tribute Tribia which was

on the IMDB Tribune Trivia on the IMDB Tribia I want to be clear about this I can't believe it I can't believe it This movie is featured in episode 257 of the bad movie podcast

We hate movies Dude no we made the Tribune Trivia We did How about that? Well I can die now And this only confirms that what I have in my head is absolutely. What is so fucking great about that is like

now I'm even more stumped somehow. I can... I'll give you a second. We did as an episode. The number doesn't mean anything. The problem is it's virtually unknown that this was a television show. Yeah.

That's what makes it a good, tricky question. Yeah, that Jane Master. He loves his tricks. All right, let's move on to the next one. You know, if I just get by with one point, Exactly. It's still a win. Tagline, it doesn't get any wilder than this. How does that not help?

People are screaming in their cars. They always are. They're so smart. That's what I love about our audience is they are very, very smart people. I'm about to be screaming in the studio. All right. Start number two. If you're ready for them. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, let's do it. Kevin Klein. Oh, Wild Wild Wild West It is the Wild Wild West for two big points for Eric Iska. Wow, wow, man, now that is pathetic. I should have known that. See, I fell into, I was thinking like, like the theme song of the TV show.

Yeah, somehow was a big thing. Man, yeah, Wild Wild West was right there. I mean, that song was huge from the Willenium, obviously. Oh, yeah, Wicca, Wicca, Wild Wild West, dude, absolutely. All right. Round two. Game Masters. Kalu, a sequel to a surprise

1997 comedy hit. This one takes our lead and his catchphrases back in time as he woos a new leading lady. So it's a prequel? It's a sequel. He takes, there's Time Trap. Sequel with Time Trial.

A sequel to a surprise 1997 comedy hit. This one takes our lead and his catchphrases. Alston Powers the pie The spy who shagged me That is correct The pie who shag me Not the pie

That's the weird Al song Yeah that's me Over the holidays I was gonna say That's Jason Biggs In American Well you know

To be fair I fucked up the title If you want to doc No no No there's a quick one I didn't fuck the pie Eugene Levy The pie

Fuck me Uh yeah You'll forget That he goes back in time In that one It's been a long time For me In the spy

Who Shagged me spy oh yeah he goes back to the 60s and it's like rob low instead of Robert Wagner and so on and so forth finally makes his appearance fat bastard drinks his own feces in that movie if I remember correctly I rewatched the first one during quarantine and I like it yeah I did not go through the rest of them though no because they just do the same fucking jokes all right round three all right game masters clue one half of a bankable comedy

team struck out on his own for the first time as a lead here this time as a dog now Lost and found It is lost and found for five big points Yeah man that movie is sad as fuck What is it? Who's the David Spade It's Spade

That's sad Yeah it's really sad right If I recall correctly they insert Artie Lang into the fat friend role in that movie The trailer it's uncomfortable Because it's a big joke Because like Ardy Lang's like I want to be like you boy and he's and like he gets his hair dyed to look like David Spade but that just makes him look more

like Chris Farley which is oh god and apparently that that role was written for Farley and you know yeah and you know they have a French actress yes Sophie Marceau is yes I think it's Sophie Marceau yeah I rented that movie precisely one time and I kind of remember a little bit about it there's like some sort of climax takes place in like an open amphitheater of some kind if I'm not mistaken. There's like a cello player. I've never seen it. I just remember it's sucking. It's really bad. What's with all these comedies doing on the Matrix? I was shocked myself. Well, we're going to actually, we'll talk about that because I actually have a theory about this. Oh, I see because you, uh, you watched the VHS with Steve. Yes, we did.

You're the, dude, you got two in a row. Well, that lost and found pull was impressive. Even if Eric wins, he will never win. Andrew, would you have known the name lost and found or would you only have kind of been like, oh, it's the one with Artie Lang. No, if I got to, like, so what was the Tribune trivia for that one? The Tribune trivia for that was,

the dog in this film is a Norwich Terrier and then the next piece of trivia was the dog in this film was actually a Carrad Terrier as they have longer tails of Norwich. No, it probably would have taken me to the cast. Got it. Okay, so last one here. Round four, Game Master's Kalu, a TV movie that tells the acrimonious relationship of two tech titans. Oh, ah, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ha.

Oh, I fucking know the movie and I know part of the title. Exactly. That's why I said it, bitch. I knew this is going to be in trouble. Christopher Cabin. The Pirates of Silicon Valley. is the Pirates of Silicon Valley. I knew Silicon Valley was in the

fucking title. It's Noah Wiley and who? Anthony Michael Hall. It's Anthony Michael Hall. Yeah. And who, and they're playing what again? Gates and jobs. Gotcha. Yeah, yeah. That sounds familiar. Fuck. At least I knew the move. Even if there was, even if I had a perfect VHS trailer

game, it's something my primitive cerebrum would be constantly trying to wake up from. Well, Andrew gets fucking killed again in another round. Oh, it's tough. Oh, there's plenty of games to play. There are, yeah. We've got a whole, we're going through August, guys.

So we'll definitely have enough room for everybody to get in there once Andrew hacks my mainframe. Oh, I'll hack your mainframe. Definitely just get in there and figure it out. Well, so this is, it's the Matrix. another, where do you start? Well, I, so what, yeah, do you, what's your theory here with all that? Okay, so at the time, Erica's right, there were a lot of romantic comedies. They were everywhere.

Where are romantic comedies now? Nowhere. Or they're being made by Netflix only and they're just like awful. And a lot of them are truly abhorrent. Cannot be watched. That's true, but also like awesome powers. It's kind of just like a big box comedy. Yes.

I, but I kind of think the Matrix was a turning point away from those kinds of movies as the movies were making. Because I think... RIMDARC cells, yeah. The early aughts is when you start seeing them tap her off. Like, it's just not happening anymore. Because this opened, what, I think two weeks after she's all that. And the same week as 10 Things I Hate About You, which are two of like the last of

those types. Okay. So, and this destroyed, like this is, this goes on a, I think, 12 week run. Yeah, at number one. At the top. Yeah. It goes on a really, long streak. It's an interesting theory because

you think about like something that Mary came out and like all these like big nasty comedies which I mean did they didn't go away just because of the Matrix no but like they were huge money makers because they were so cheap obviously and you just sort of just raked up money and I was yeah yeah and then they started

developing shit like Starsky and Hutch or whatever and started losing money trying to adapt all those TV shows and then everything got put dead on a halt when Lord of the Rings came out and then we were just dealing with attempts to make that kind of movie again for years. That's kind of interesting.

I feel like so much of, yeah, it's been like just chasing L-O-TR. Not like fantasy though, right? There wasn't a lot of fantasy. I mean, yes, they've been like trying to, I mean, like this got renewed with Game of Thrones.

Now they're trying to, every fucking book series there is. They try to do it with that Golden Compass movie. And it bankrupted New Line Cinema entirely. That was part of the, that was part of the craze of like, let's take big books and try to do them as big movies. That was when you start...

L-O-T-R and Potter are the same year. And you start... That's when you start hearing about watchmen. They're trying to finally do it. And, of course, that crashes and burn until two years later. So, I mean, this is interesting that, like, the Matrix is such a good, brand-new IP that everyone starts trying to resurrect old IP.

And then we find ourselves in... I mean, I do feel like we're in the Matrix. Like, we're at the 99, kind of the height or something, you know, arguably. I mean, good year for movies. 1999 is one of the best years for movie, period. And now it feels like nothing is, it feels like I haven't

lived a day since that, since 1999. Well, you're living at hell. Oh, yeah, I guess that's the problem. Speaking of the film landscape, can I say that I remember very clearly because a little movie came out about 40 some on days after this one called Star Wars

Episode 1, The Phantom Menace. If you ask some fat little son of a bitch named Steve Sadek, which movie was better in 1999 he was like well the matrix was cool but that lightsaber fight you just can't beat it you know what I mean

I was making all sorts of excuses and I was for some reason very worried about the matrix stealing phantom menaces thunder which it did which it absolutely did. Of course yeah you would think I would have that opinion but I remember not having that opinion I remember being a bit of an episode one apologists for a while

but I always thought that there were better movies that year. Oh yeah. I mean, it was one of those years. This was like the year I was like, oh, I like adult movies too. Like I remember I did like, uh, or like, I just was overwhelmed by them. I remember doing a doubleheader of fight club and bringing out the dead the same day. Oh man. That's awesome. And like two of my favorite movies till this day. You guys saw this in theaters, right? Oh yeah, big time. I did not. Oh really? I was Friday opening night. I did not see it in the theaters. I, it was one of the very first, uh, DVD. I ever owned. And I went ab shit with the rewatches. I think I had rented it on VHS before that,

uh, before I owned it. And then it, I don't think it was part. Remember like when they first started DVDs and it was like, oh, if you bought a DVD player with this player, you get like five free movies to come with it or whatever. A bounty. And like the Matrix may have been included in that. Because also speaking of which fucking Austin Power's spy who shag me down, definitely was. That was one of our first ones. That's why I've seen that 30 times. I've seen this 30 times. I've seen the first Shrek movie 30 times. The South Park movie was one of the first ones. Yep. I had that. Yep. Well, this movie made a ton of money in theaters, but I was looking up today. It sold 30 million DVDs. Oh, yeah. Could you fucking imagine that much money?

30 million DVD. Like, do we, there's no way we moved units like that. No, I can't I can't imagine. No way. Not the age of streaming. Even with Marvel, you would think people would begin to collecting. I don't think they are. Marvel's really terrible about like releasing stuff. Like they're very weird about like what's on 4K now. I think all the movies you can get on Blu-ray at least. And I think they're now starting.

It's the same with Star Wars though. Like they're starting to put shit on 4K. But then you look at the reviews of the discs and they're like, these are all basically just Blu-ray transfers that they put on. Of course, of course. Wake me up when they put the Ernest out in 4K. Hey, Vern. I'm crystal clear

I do the opening of this movie is it's very instructive because it's just a very cool shot of you know the Matrix the whole like the drippy code thing and you're having this conversation between Kerry and Moss and Joe Pantleano and it's already horned like immediately Joe Pantzliano's like you're watching him aren't you and she's like I like to watch him like

oh yeah this movie what are you doing in that fucking operator chair trinity what are you doing what are you doing while you're watching you know a steam you over there trinity huh just an absolute you watch him just an absolute smoke show cast by the way a lot of sexies floating around this movie even joey pants i mean the the bald with the goat it's kind of working he's got cool glasses i mean he's one top hat away from asking you to throw a ring on top of a bottle for tickets.

You know, congruously, he could be the cool guy at the record store. Step right up. You look like a handsome customer there. Win something for your lady. You want this stuffed gorilla there.

Get the fuck out of here. Take another couple of baseballs to the bottles. Let's go. Yeah. He got fun. I'll take on my fucking baseball. Get the fuck out of here.

Get your fucking and shake her fingers out of here now I just want Joey Pants yelling at kids can we get I know Billy Bob did it exquisitely but some sort of like pseudo bad news bears kind of movie where Joey Pants is just yelling at children

I would be into that that's great angry coach we can just call it a real bummer yeah I just we keep talking about him because he's so good we also talked about him in our Memento episode also WLM on the Patreon's only if why on yes he's just not around anymore

and he's so fucking good at everything. He's so fucking good. I mean in this, I feel like in this movie, rewatching it this time, you know, the smoke show cast of course, but you did need like a weird character actor in that mix. He's, I mean, he's not the only one reason why the sequels are inferior.

He's so important to this movie. He lets the air out of the balloon a lot. You know what I mean? Yeah. Whereas the rest of the movies are puffing up the mythology and puffing up the gravitas. you kind of have Joy Pants here being like, why you? Why didn't I take the fucking blue pill? Jesus.

Yeah, like a skeptic. Yes, exactly. And he's, I mean, he has big Peter Lurie energy. Yeah, I can see that. From the beginning. Like, and he's just like, his delivery is so good with some of these lines. These letters of transit are signed by Agent Smith. They're good to get out of the Matrix.

Which is interesting because that's a thing they start dabbling with in the third movie. Yeah. But they're so fucking concerned about this war for Zion shit that that really cool idea just goes completely away. See, the thing with those sequels is they focus so much on Zion. I feel like a lot of that CG budget went to the Sentinels, which looked good, but everything else suffered in those sequels because of it. Dude, him flying around like Superman in that second movie, the big like the schoolyard fight with him and all the agent Smiths, it looks awful. It does.

I guess I just have been ground down to me even that looks better than like the meticulous like neatness of Marvel movies when like when they have their graphics come up like it looks more ostentatious now to me than it does back then it just looks chunkier and like crappier

I mean it looks like a screensaver in a bit I think Andrew you had an interesting idea on text last night about why not a special edition why not amp up these graphics sure if the Wachowski's wanted to go back to those movies like you wouldn't need to do a ton for the first movie. I mean, I don't want to be, I don't want to give Lucas any way of getting out of what he did. The genies out of the ball. I don't want him pointing anywhere. God damn it.

Yeah, but at least, I don't know. You could at least say like, use that as a reference point. Like, look at all the ways in which he fucked that up. Now we won't do that. I watch this on HBO Max. It looked great. I love this opening sequence with Carrie Ann Moss, a total unknown, who has, I believe, that I did some math here, influenced the sexuality of 70. percent of the people I like in the world. 75, possibly. If you were born between

181 and 1996, she has influenced your sexuality in some way in this performance. That's true. So the 30% is like your parents. Exactly. Like my dad is like, what's that lady doing?

And it's such a rad setup too, right? Like she comes into this building. You see her walking in. You don't really know entirely. That's what I love about. And like watching it, now like for the show this opening scene still like

reminded me of the first time I watched it where like you don't if you went like it was kind of impossible to go to this movie cold in 99 but like if you forgot kind of how it starts now like you go into it she's there and then like this fucking security

guard or whatever is like talking to Agent Smith on the phone and just the whole sequence of no lieutenant your men are already dead and it cuts to her she does the fucking hanging kick. And I, it was again, like having my mind blown for the first time. Just that, the memory of like, oh my God.

Like, what am I what? This is my first exposure to any kind of like wirework fighting stuff. This one makes me anti-scroll. Because I don't, I'm so happy with how they unfold, how the world works within the movie. Right. Like, I could just see them putting on, like, the year is 2199. That's fair. We are all in this piece of shit matrix.

Dropping you right in really helps. And I feel like if they did a scroll, it would be maybe it would be too similar to Star Wars in a way because it's like, it's sort of the hero's journey, this classic hero's journey. Morpheus is sort of a Ben Kenobi. But this is like before Star Wars. It's like Joseph Campbell shit.

Yeah. And they do such a great job of A, she destroys these dudes. Oh, does she ever? But they do a great world building of like, oh, fuck an agent this year. you know she starts freaking out that great shot of her jumping

through the window dude yeah she does the like torpedo jump it's incredible and then landing with the guns that's such a badass shot of her landing with the guns pointed at the window and then has to do that cool like I got to psych myself up because I'm fucking terrified of these robot men it just does it does so much work

in like 90 seconds and those effects hold up I feel like none of the CGI is really bad in this I feel like it's just more bad in those sequels maybe because they're more ambitious or whatever. It's really just all the flying, I think, and in the third movie, the fucking

the mech suit dudes, when you're looking at the person from, that's fucking terrible. That is tough. It's really terrible. But even in that second movie, like the second movie kind of starts the way this one does where she does the cool motorcycle thing and she throws the motorcycle into like the parking garage thing

and the whole thing blows up and she lands and does like the... You're seeing her die the vision of her dying. That's right. Yeah, and all that stuff. That whole mission. Yeah, like, it's, it's fucking rad. But yeah, it's just the stunt work, absolutely incredible. I love the dive across the buildings. They gave, I mean, I'm sure you're right.

Like, they gave, uh, what I'm going to fucking butcher's name, uh, Yunwu Ping. Yen Wu Ping. Yeah, they gave him every fucking, like, he did not want to do the movie. And they were like, please, he's like, I need complete creative control over these scenes. And I'm like, sure. Yeah. Oh, okay. All right.

Fine. Sure. Okay. Now do it. All right. Like fight choreography legend, Yen Wopeng. Like, yep, let's do it, dude. Come into this movie. And taking out wires and doing jumps, pretty easy thing to CGI and help out a little bit instead of creating a whole new characters. That's

what I think, like, I don't mind about it is because it is still like, and why I find like Marvel and all that so ostentatious because it's everywhere in those movies. Yeah, it's the whole movie. It's everything. And like, even in the Matrix, which does have a lot of it, it's still not everything.

You've got good sets in this movie. Great sets. And in, yes. It was before, I mean, it's funny because like all of episode one is fucking green screen, the motion picture. Yeah. But like, it was before that was just like

commonplace like all of these Marvel movies are. So like you still were blessed with like these movies where you do have sets that were built and they look really great. I love like she gets to the phone booth and there's like the truck that's going to ram her and like you can see, I think this is the first time

you're sort of made hip to, like, Agent Smith can transform, like, hack into people. Which is cool. He can fast travel. Yeah. He can fast travel. That's right. And he hacks the truck driver and drives the truck, like, into the phone booth. But you see that she, you know,

got out because the agents come up and this is where it's kind of like a quick blink and you miss it line, but the one guy says to Agent Smith like, oh, well, by the way, confirmation that the informant is real, speaking of Joey Pants, we learn later, and the

next, their next person they're going to is Neo. Yeah, it is a weird, like you do, it's a line I never remembered that they, like, that they set up that they have a trader on, a mole on the inside immediately, you know? Yes. Yeah, no, I actually didn't even notice that until this time around. Yeah, it's a great

detail. You know, it's surprising actually that, like, I think Keanu Reeves is great in this movie. Yeah. It's, I feel like it's surprising he's even in it, given Johnny mnemonic or like or maybe the I thought maybe the studio would have apprehension about that. I mean, they wanted everybody else. I mean, their big

want was Johnny Depp. Will Smith almost did it. Well, Smith was very close to doing it. But their big want was Johnny Depp. That was the person they wanted. He came up in the VHS trailer game there. What the hell is the deal with that guy's career? Like he could have, he must have just been turning down some good projects.

I mean, he said that like full on he didn't, it was, I didn't get it kind of a thing. And it was the biggest regret he ever had. I do think that like you you need Keanu it's that sort of spaciness that really sells it honestly

the Wachowski flavor is not going to come out with him and the and the foreground yeah Keanu it's going to become a Will Smith movie yeah you could buy as a hacker like Will Smith is he's you can tell he's doing going through the motions I bet

but absolutely but what you're saying Chris I think is totally right because like Keanu I think is able to just kind of like mesh in and make it like a team player thing. You're right. Like if it's Will Smith, it's a fucking Will Smith movie. Any big cat. I mean, like you, I mean,

you have, this is almost unbelievable. I still can't believe they got the socket with the casting that they got like. Fishburn is also like just, just big enough a star that you can like put his name there. Yeah. But like, he's, he also has the gravitas. I can't imagine anybody else playing Morpheus. I really

cannot in my brain. The idea that Sean Conner was going to be morphius. That's what I wanted to bring up, though. Is that true? Because I was reading another thing. Because that just sounds like Ramirez now. He passed on the architect in the second room.

Oh, that's what it was. Okay. But they wanted everybody. It was originally because I think they were very, and the Wachowskis were very smartly conscious of like wanting to make this movie as kind of diverse as possible in terms of casting. It was going to be, if it was going to be Will Smith and they wanted a white morphist,

they were thinking Val Kilmer. Pretty cool. Oh, yeah. But I think that nobody does the professorial thing. that the scary professorial thing that Lawrence Fishford does in this movie nobody else can kind of hack that he's almost gregarious in scenes

like it's a very incredible tone he hits like when he gets the cell phone and he's like Orpheus and he's like yeah as if he's like a warrior spirit from Zelda about to give you a special shield

because it kind of is you know he's going to help you enter this whole greater world I do I love I love it. I love the tone he hits. I mean, he does a great job at balancing like, you know, he like, Morpheus internally has to be so fucking giddy because

he's like, this is the one. Neo is the guy and I'm talking to the guy. Oh, I'm talking to. But like, it's all like, I have to play this cool because if I fuck it up, I'm going to scare this dude off and he's not going to want to do it. So it's like, it's restrained excitement in a way,

like restrained enthusiasm. Yeah, I don't know. Baptist energy like just fucking total nutbag waiting around knowing like everybody thinks you're

you're a hot shit like oh no wait for my you're the hype man for the real dude who's on his way one of the best roles in the Bible

I will say absolutely one of the top ones you give me Larry Fishburn is fucking John the John the B I'm into it

so we're getting a little ahead of ourselves so after the car the truck crashed into the phone booth we cut to Neo Keanu

Rives post-jerk session in front of the Oh dude absolutely all of his energy sapsed massive attack fucking blaring on the fucking drip on the floor coming out of his dick still out of his pants Massive attack was who I could not remember

on last week's episode Dragula's the second needle drop And you've also got he's also he's doing that he's just closed to port windows he's got two MMOPRGs going He's got a couple of campaigns active

Like you have to be really burned out or like fucked up to pass out with your face like on a keyboard. Yeah. It's pretty tough. That's his life though, right? He's a computer guy. He's not a TV guy.

He's just hanging out on the web. And it's like a beautiful thing thinking back on those days because dial up internet. It was so slow, but you didn't know it was slow. Right. It was groundbreaking. Yeah. Also interesting because it's a hacker in a movie you're filming in 1998, nary an energy drink to be found.

No. That's true. No, like caffeine. Nothing caffeine, like no coffee or anything. Well, that's why I went to sleep, dude. You should have had a big, big fucking monster next to him. You know, would have fucking hacking all the night through. Well, that's what I'm just curious.

Like, what was the energy drink situation in the late 90s? I don't think we really had. Jolt and search were still. Yeah, like soda. But those were in like hackers, right? Like, there was jolt and cola and hackers. We didn't, we haven't gotten like to pure cocaine drink like bang. He gets an ASL from Morpheus.

for kids at home and that's age sex location we played a fest earlier this year and I was talking to another guy on another podcast

a younger man and we said ASL had no clue what we were talking about it was so you know when you were talking to people in the chat room

anonymously you know you just you took it you took that as like fucking gospel dude it's like

absolutely this total anonymous stranger that I'm speaking to said that they were a fucking, you know, 24-year-old female from, you know, New York City or whatever. And they were like, fuck, yeah, let's keep chatting.

This X-Files chat for him. For some, it was gospel. For some, it was the password into the fucking underworld. That's right. But da-da-ba-da-ba-ba-da-ba-da-jerk. Oh, definitely. So he, but yes, Morpheus kind of was like, hey, wake up, Neo.

the Matrix has you. Yes. It would be great if he actually said that. These are great who said that. Sorry, I'm sending you, I'm sending you wave files of my awesome voice. Do you have a Wynamp? Cool winamp skin, Neo.

Oh, man, maybe back in the day, like, he was like, okay, he started like trying to get some other people out of the Matrix, and he was just like calling them up and be like, the world is fake. And it wasn't working. I got to come up with a new name. for something. I don't know. Let's say the world is the Matrix, okay, you're plugged into

because my world is fake thing, wasn't convincing people. Well, I just, what did I watch recently? Watch Commando. Good movie. Maybe the world is as broad as John Matrix's shoulders.

Which had a fake country in it, hello. Figured it out. There is. I love the idea, by the way, in 2199, Neos just watching some fucking MOV file of old Arnold movies, that would be kind of awesome. This, this, uh, the ASL from,

from Morpheus here, um, it, it, uh, invokes, uh, or causes the fucking funniest Kianu, like, Keanuism of any of these movies, I think is, it's, you know, the Matrix has you is what the computer screen says. And he just goes, what? He's got so many good moments like that, like the, whoa,

you know? Yeah. well was great but the what it's hard to imagine another leading man pulling those on will smith johnny dep i don't think so couldn't happen it's just he he's got a very everybody here was supposed to be here i get like carry on carry ann moss too like i don't want a short sell her i can't imagine anybody else like trinity i feel like the matrix is so perfectly cast i'm starting to believe in god uh but so he gets um uh approached by a bunch of ravers and they want troy oh man i love these

And it's like They've been up for a couple I was like sorry man I've been fucking doing Craig for six days It's like awesome Here's a mini disc with God knows what on it Yep for $2,000 Yes dude

Here I guess this is my own personal Jesus I won't be playing master and servant anymore I guess the cool thing is I hope you never let me down again With these discs Oh yeah good tunes

I guess the cool thing is you don't have to do the thing you do, the drug dealer where you have like go in and hang out with Neo. Yes, that's true. So man, how's it going? How's the hack and doing? Awesome. Cool. Yeah, because you can't be like, you want to come in and sample some of this hacked information. You just sit down, put on some hacked videos. Just hack for a while, dude. I mean, the Matrix is clearly cool with it. It doesn't stop any of

this shit. It doesn't glitch him. Although, so these tweakers are like, come on, man, don't you want to come out? We're going to take a little ride. We're going to go watch, analyze this. And then we're going to go to the club and hang out and do dance. Do you think that was what was on the mini-disc was just a bunch of bootleg movies? I mean, because for two grand, man, for a bunch of torrent movies, that's a bit much. If they find you with that copy of the Blair Witch Project, you don't know me.

You can get 15 years for Cam Rips these days. You can. But look, Troy, you wouldn't steal a car, would you? I do love, you know, because Morphians, like, follow the white rabbit. And, like, this guy is such, I mean, again, the horny energy in this movie is off the charts. Oh, yeah. But it's just like, should we take him with us, darling? And she's like, ooh, yeah.

And when that happened, you're like, okay, so now I'm in a threesome situation. Okay. And it's not a bad one, by the way. nothing wrong. No, she's quite all right. Troy's looking okay. Like, if you can get it up later, that's fine. Looks like a man I could give a handshake to him. Exactly.

But you totally right, though, Steve, because this woman is like sticking her tongue out. Like, yeah, that would be fun. La la la la la la la la la la. Let's go clubbing, Neo. It's the white rabbit, just like the chat on his computer suggested, right? She's got the tattoo. Yes, yes. And it's kind of cool because, like, even the chat,

we're underplaying. It's like knock, knock, Neo. And then someone knocked to the door because Morpheus can see everything because he's just, he's basically watching him like, he's just like, I don't know, Leo. Why don't you check the library that'll give you the more information. Oh, God. No, don't go into the other room, Neo. You've already checked that one before. Jesus, you live like this?

Don't you want to clean up a little bit? Jesus Christ. I wish we got a little more of Thomas Anderson's apartment. It's not looking good. I got to be honest. No, I know. I'm not sure if he's the one. I don't know if the one would masturbate quite as many times in a day.

Oh, I don't know if he's the one. Can you imagine the one doing laundry and mixing whites with colors? That's just ridiculous. So they go clubbing. This is the Dragula needle drop right here. It is so awesome because, like, I fucking totally forgot that Dragula is featured in this movie. And I was rocking out. You know, I think this movie set like some unfair expectations for my life.

I'm like, oh, you know, sure, my life is awful right now. Sure. Living in the sticks going to high school. It's terrible. One day, crazy, sexy, goth clubs and shit. That's how adults live. Yes, exactly. And then Carrie Ann Moss comes up to you.

She's like, hey, I like your vibe. You're like, cool, that's what life's like. No, it's not. No, it is aggressively not that. Well, and you moved back to the stick. So that's just, that's on you. Because it wasn't here, dude. sorry man

I looked around it's like fucking desert man Manhattan's a bore I've been to clubs like this but I have not seen such a beautiful transition

in a DJ set from Rob Zombie's Dragula it's what prodigies mind fields just unbelievable that's you know what can happen

because sometimes man you just got to leave it to the pros maybe that was an Elkenfeld maybe he snuck one in there

oh shit yeah then she's like you know are you Neo and he's oh are you the Trinity

and they have this kind of cool thing she's like You're living in a simulation right now. He's like, what? This is all a computer program. You don't get it. No, it's weird.

It's so much weirder than that. It's like, you know what it is, don't you? Yes. The Matrix. Everybody's been talking about the Matrix. That's a weird thing is like, and it's fine because ultimately the movie moves on with itself. But like, you get the idea that Keanu has suspicions about simulation theory and like has been kind of doing some digging like Neo or

Morpheus has some lines later to him about like you've been looking into this. I know that you've been curious for a while now and it's like because we drop in like right when Neo's life like changes we don't have any of that pre-Morphius reaching out.

That's very interesting because I guess if you hack the IRS enough times you're like well this is all fake. Well that's I mean that one there's not much lingo in there but one I almost died laughing at was when he's like you hacked the IRS D-base Yes, database.

Yeah, oh, you're able to say D-Base, dude, absolutely. And there is a, you, D-Back my database. Oh, totally. Here's the move, uh, computer evil monster people. Why not just never set this in 1999. Like, start like 1700.

Like, I understand like, you know, he goes, like, they do the whole spiel about, oh, we gave everybody paradise. Nobody could handle it. Like, just give them like shitty 1700s, whatever. Then A-information is nowhere. No, you know what? No one has computers.

You're just fucking, you're barely living through cholera. Well, Mr. Anderson, the reason we set the simulation in 1999 is we love the bare naked ladies. It's also inarguably the best year for American cinema. Just cannot be topped. I'll be honest with you. You never thought your life would ever be this way, Mr. Anderson. Yes, the chickadee, China, the Chinese. chicken. You had a drumstick and your brain stops ticking. Watching X-Files with no lights on. We're

Dono Mays on. I hope the smoking man's in this one, Mr. Anderson. Getting frantic, like sting, I'm tantric. Like Snickers, I'm guaranteed to satisfy. Mr. Anderson, I'm like Kour Sauer. I make mad films. K, I don't make films. But if I did, they'd have a samurai. Mr. Anderson. God help me. Whoa, you know way too much of that song. Dude, you computers are sick. Your computers are sick.

You've got to stop. It's all been done. Oh, man. And that's why it's 1999 forever, Mr. Anderson. Mr. Anderson, I wanted to see if you were home, but I had the wrong address, so I broke into the old apartment. You know, Mr. Anderson,

I might as well be. walking on the sun. That was smash mouth. You fucking idiot computer! You're under arrest. But he goes, you know, he wakes up the next morning.

She's like basically like, just keep a look out. Morpheus is really circling around you, but there's also bad guys looking for you. So just really steer clear. Yeah, he says, he says, what is the Matrix? And her last line is, it will find you if you want it. We should say, I mean, obviously, uh, Lana and Lily Wachowski came as trans woman after this movie was made. The gender subversion stuff all over this movie is fascinating and retro-spite.

It's just, oh yeah. Like the whole, like, you know, I thought Trinity was a guy. And it's like most guys do. Like, you know, even like sort of innocuous lines about like they keep like, Neo keeps being referred to either as Alice from Alice in Wonderland or Dorothy from, from Wizard of Oz, like those kinds of things. It's all, I mean, the dimensions are all here. really kind of, smarter people

than me and us could talk about that for hours, but it is absolutely worth mentioning. It's fascinating. Buckle up, Dorothy, because Kansas is going by-bye. Exactly. I mean, yeah, he's all about, like, finding his true self and living that best life and, yeah. I mean, the

funny thing about them, like, the rumors about the Matrix and everything about that, is that they have all agreed that it is called the Matrix. It's not like somebody's like, I believe in the Matrix. Yeah, what I believe in the Slop Plop. And that's where we're all going.

And also, why would it even have an English word anyway? Your computers, I believe in 0-1-1-1-0-1. Who told you about our code? It made for a killer ad campaign. Do you remember those TV spots and stuff? It's like, what is the Matrix? You have to find out for yourself, et cetera, et cetera. And like, literally the movie is answering that question apace.

Like, it literally opens with asking, do you know what the Matrix is? What is the Matrix? Right. You've been asking yourself. that question. You've been seeing our ads. Gabbo is coming. Gabbo.

Yeah, exactly. I don't remember the trailer as much, though. How much of the ad campaign was like, this is a movie about a dude who realizes he's living in a simulation? None of it, basically. It was all like, at least from my memory, I didn't go back and watch any stuff. But I remember, like, specifically the TV spots that were like 30 second things of just like, what is the Matrix?

Well, you're going to have to see it. And they show the crazy shit. And you're like, well, I'm in. I mean, beautiful old school fifth. type of advertising where you're just like just press it like don't don't give them no information whatsoever is that what they did with the fifth oh man the fifth element trailer is incredible go see it like it's like literally just like there is one thing that's going to save the universe and it's the fifth element and then it just goes back we have to do that too eventually oh yeah

it's better to do you have the first trailer that's like that and then you have the second trailer that gives you the whole movie and then third trailer and the fourth trailer by the sixth trailer you know all the twists and all the truth it's fantastic it's better I think The third trailer for this new Matrix. I stayed away. You guys stayed away. It might make a difficult talk in this, but yeah, it basically just tells you what the whole movie is. I feel like.

I skipped it, but I saw something today when I was, I actually watched this trailer. It was like, new trailer for the Matrix. And the, this thumbnail was like a huge surprise. I'm like, well, that's, I would rather have seen that movie. Yeah, I accidentally spoiled something for myself today due to looking at a certain actor's I&B page. It's probably the same thing.

But so he wakes up the next day. He's late for work and his Australian boss is really giving him shit, isn't he? Dude, blimey is he ever. And you know, there's... Crocky, come in late old as I. What are you doing here? You're going to hit you out of head with a boomerang

next time you come in that late. I do appreciate that like the fact that like basically every human city kind of looks the fucking same. Yeah. Yes. And don't they they use like some Chicago streets names or something throughout this movie? Yeah, they change street names. I don't remember.

Which is cool because it's like a magabation. Like whatever they're living in is not Chicago. It's not Melbourne or whatever they call it. Melbourne. And it's interesting to have American actors in on Australia. Like just the fact of them having being in an

Australian city, it doesn't look like and mixing Americans with Australians. just wild crazy stuff what wild and crazy stuff I'm sorry okay there was a kangaroo in the road I got late you said that last time you said I'm a bitch

there's never that many kangaroos in a road this guy's played knifey spoonie before there is no spooney I'm about to walk off this picture you told me these were going to be New Zealanders not these trashy Australia these brutal drunks

but you know that's why we love love them, by the way. We give everyone a little shit, but we all love. We love our international audience. Absolutely. I'm a brutal drunk right now. I'm drinking a fucking 10% ABB. You're a drunkard and people would say that makes you a citizen of the world. To quote Casablanco a few weeks ago. That's a good question. I mean, so like when you're in the Matrix and like you're hanging out with some buddies and you go out to the pub after like crunching numbers for the Matrix or whatever you do and you're drinking a beer, does the computer simulation make you drunk

you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's like oh, like this element is you know, this part of the code is entering his body. You have less hydration code

more dehydration code. Something like that. That's bringing your whole like temperature now. You're just, you're actually just drinking dead people right now but we'll just say you're drunk. You're fucking wasted, Mr. Anderson.

Enjoy it. It's a thick black sludge you're being fed. But so that I guess that's the thing. All the choices you're making that make no difference anyway are now impaired. Well, it may be with the booze, though, it's like, oh, yes, there's regular black liquid and then there's fermented black liquid so they can get fucked up. And black liquid light. This is black liquid ultra. Initially, in the first Matrix 1.0, there were no hangovers and everyone realized that was wrong for some reason.

We had to put the hangover code. back in, Mr. Anderson. Mr. Anderson. I'll bring the hangover code in tomorrow. I would love to see, and I guess like, maybe the slightest bit you peer this

at the end of the very, very last scene of the third movie when the Matrix reboots itself and the little girl program has designed like a beautiful like multicolored sky and it's like a rainbow-looking sky.

it looks pretty cool. Maybe they're trying. Because I'm just I would love to see some of what that like utopian matrix looked like. Yeah. Yes. Like give me a flashback as to like why that didn't work. What was going on? Do we all just started like beating each other to death or like what happened

there? It was breath of the wild actually. And people got really frustrated because the swords kept breaking. That's why I stopped playing that game. Why do I have to keep on making shouters? The sword kept breaking, Mr. Anderson, and your primitive cerebrum kept wanting to

wake up from that. Mr. Anderson, the original Matrix was actually modeled after Grand Theft Auto San Andreas, and everybody got upset that you had to take your character to eat and go to the gym and play basketball. And for some reason, you were always listening to ABC's Poison Arrow. All right, Mr. Anderson, we'll level with you. We did the first one. It was the mushroom kingdom. It kind of ruled, but honestly, it was figuring out who was

going to be Bowser was kind of a big hassle, so we decided to make people regular again. I do like that detail, because it's like yes, life is unquestionably defined by misery for human beings, right? Absolutely. In many ways.

It's just like, it's people passing. It's fucking tragedies across the world, you know? That's how you measure time. Coming to peace with all those things, if you can. coming to pieces. He goes to his cube. Which is gorgeous, by the way,

and I understand at the time that they made this, this is supposed to be a prison. Look at your terrible office job. It's boring. The boss is Australian and drones on and on. And here's your cube, and this is such a, your shackle to this desk,

huge cubicle, beautiful cubicle. Awesome. Would have killed for this cubicle. And walls, dude. Walls, dude. You know, all the Matrix,

we've decided. to make it even more miserable. We've decided that open plan offices shall exist, Mr. Atterson. You know, we have one of those at the Burns and it is just a fucking hellscape. The open concept office

should be made illegal in the world. When I started my job when I was working at Showtime, it was in a cubicle almost like this one. And then in 2014, they went more open concept. They cut it in half, lowered all the walls. And I had a view of a window. They

bricked up to make an office for an executive or whatever. And they expect, like, you're not going to do. Did a black cat walk past that door twice? I, you know, there was, you know, and there were tunnels under Manhattan that connects some buildings. There were days in the winter. I would never

see outside. I'd go, I'd get to the train station, go underground, go up to my off. Dude, it fucking sucked. And how do you expect to retain employees by going to open concept, by breaking up windows. Well, you destroy any sense of privacy and that makes them better employees. Apparently, and that's the thing. It's like

plug me the fuck in. If you can give me a blue pill now, put me in a simulation and all the office spaces are better. Yeah, everybody is, everybody's into the blue pill. Everybody would be happy to have a San Juan DiParo afterlife. Everybody's into it. Honestly, at this point, we're all into it. Everyone's that

what that television episode was about that I never watched. Yes, it's about the afterlife. It's about a version of the after life. Got it. All these offices have egg on their face because you know it would be really fucking helpful in a pandemic. Walls. Doors you can close. No, no, no. Everyone's going to be. It's amazing. You can see everything and everyone's going to be breathing

on top of each other. It's fantastic. Yeah, I love it. I mean, caskets have those too. But he gets a phone, he gets a cell phone sent to FedEx, which rules. And it's amazing because Morpheus is like, look, they're coming to get you. Go into the

next cube across from you that's empty and he's like, how do you know that? I don't know that. But first of all you're like, oh yeah, right, Janice quit last week. She just got fed up with it. That's good. And I go to are you telling me to go to Janus's cube Morpheus? That's a little disrespectful.

There's so much of this where I realized immediately like I would be found out because he's just, he's kind of vague with some of the directions. He's like, all right, leave the cube and walk to the end of the hall. And I was like, well, which way am I fucking going? And even Keanu kind of it like bumps into the agents like oh oh fuck i guess he meant this way oh i love when the agents go

to his cube but he's in the one literally next to it they're like well he's not in this one he can't be in this other one obviously yep let's move away from this immediate vicinity to tuit I wouldn't want to check into get genesis cube without permission mr. well you're going to pick up a guy at the office or something yeah like oh right whatever run of the mill you don't expect him to be cowering in the next you know cubicle all right And off to the bathroom we go. Mr. Anderson, are you pissing in here? All right,

I'm going to open one stall door at a time. Right when Morpheus tells me to climb the scaffolding on a skyscraper, dude, lose my number. I mean, I'm glad that, I mean, it shows you know, growth that Neo will finally trust Morpius. You would never trust some

fucking creepo that you met on the internet. Like, no, dude, you can make it. Just climb it. Yeah. Crawl out the window. It's your workplace. Well, yeah, if it sounds like Stephen McCaddy, I'm not going to do it. Lawrence Fishburn. This is why casting matters.

The bummer, though, is like, you never, like, it's fine the way it goes down, which is that Keanu's like, fuck this, and he goes back inside and he gets arrested by Agent Smith. But, like, if he fell, it would have been cool if there was a thing where, like, Neo or Morpheus and everybody, like, reprogrammed something. and, like, he was able to, you know, if, like, a Matrix-esque event happened right here. Like, he falls, but, like, somehow survives one way or another. I guess the Roger Rabbit treatment just bounces off.

That's exactly right. Everyone in his office is watching this dude go out and chains. He was jerking off. Oh, yeah, we knew. Yeah, I told you that guy. That fucking, the skinny guy, the skinny guy. The skinny guy, look out for the skinny guy. We all knew he was jerking off in that cubicle with them high walls and whatnot.

But his TPS reports were always turned in on time. so we kind of just let it slide. That's our fault. The problem is that he would always lock the bathroom when he went in. That's what I mean, it's, there's three stalls in there. Everybody has to use them.

First Janice, now the skinny guy. What's this office kid? Take much more of this. There's a great, like a great shot of Neo being taken out, but, you know,

taken into the car by the agents in the reflection of Trinity's motorcycle. I just thought of, oh yes. Yeah. She's right there to pick him up. She's like,

fuck and kind of rides. drives off. I love this transition shot. We see this like, we see this wall of TVs that like I don't know if we're ever confirmed like where they actually are but then like the camera goes close to one

and then sort of like bloops through the screen and you're in the interrogation room with him. Yeah. So I don't know if that's like the architect looking on because the architect doesn't have those wall of TVs in the second movie. Yeah, no, I was just thinking was there a wall of TVs in Morpheus's loading program, but no, that was just one

TV. Yeah. I think it must be the architect. I can't I mean. Yeah. So this interrogation's going on. You know, this is where he's telling him, you know, he has two lives. Yes, yes. Mr. Anderson, you've been leading two lives.

One, where you work at a respectable software company and help your landlady take out the garbage. And another is lived on computers. Another one has a filthy podcaster. One of these, you've been cursing on the internet, Mr. Anderson.

One of these lives has a future and one does not. The life with a future is the filthy podcast. I also like in The Matrix, this old lady, can't even like, oh, well, she's getting older. Let's give run back pain protocol. You know they're doing it. You know they're doing it. You know them. Activate sciatica program.

You know what I noticed this watch and I think it's kind of a neat detail? I mean, I think it's probably intentional. The agents, whenever they sit down, it's on metal furniture only. There's no natural wood or whatever. There are metal chairs in this scene and there are metal like metal office chairs in the Morpheus interrogations. Oh, interesting. I prefer metal chairs, Mr. Anderson. and rubber makes no sense to me.

It's better for my back. Yes, I know I'm a computer program. Because it's like the machine thing, you know? It just feels nice, I guess. Yeah, that's true. I don't like wood. It's the smell. So Smith is basically like, hey, man,

we know that you've been in contact with his dude Morpheus. May I remind you, he is the A number one wanted criminal in the entire world. We do have a thing way back when Neo is passed out at his desk, you see like a bunch of shit running on his computer, one of which is like a newspaper headline comes up that says there is a like worldwide man

hunt for Morpheus going on. But what I really want to hear what they've got pinned on, Morpheus. Whatever they want. I guess so, but like to be the number, he would have to be super terrorists. Well, they're, you know, it's all phony baloney. I know. He's probably, you know,

he's probably written, you know, like to the general public he's like, what was that guy's name? Like Eric Robert Rudolph or whatever. the fucking abortion clinic bomber. They just make shit up when you're wanted. I'm just saying that guy was innocent. What I mean is like

that might at least have some weight on what Neo believes and seems willing to believe him so easily. Mr. Anderson, we have reason to believe that your best friend in the whole known world, Morpheus,

uh, did 9-11. Mr. Osama bin Laden. That dude was a fucking bad program. Oh, yeah. He knows the code's design. He's considered by many authorities to be the most dangerous man alive.

Is what Smith says about Morvious. Yeah, you can say that about it. That French guy was funding him too, right? Oh, yeah. He's the most dangerous man in the entire world. Why? Well, mostly fraud. You know, international fraud.

Some wire stuff, you know. You know, it's, you know, yeah, we put the BTK a couple below him, actually. He's honestly, he's hacked the New York Times and he's well past his five free articles, Mr. Adler. We need to take this bastard down. I heard reports today. Yep. Oh, yep. He hacked the subscription to the Atlantic, too.

He's been sharing a Netflix password with all of his friends. No one gets HBO go for free, Mr. Anderson. either respect the paywall or you don't. I love this Keanu. How about I give you the finger and you

give me my phone call? Oh, yeah. Dude, and fucking Keanu given the finger man, which you get twice in this trilogy. Yeah. Because you get it when he's talking to the architect in the second movie and there's all the neos like on the wall. A bunch of them are Keanu just

giving the finger. Oh, well, That's what it looked like. We had, we were going to do this either the easy way or the horrific way. And now you've chosen the horrific way. Dude, this mouth stuff. Yeah. It still creeps me out. Of course.

And this is what, what's great about like building to the review, you know, reveal of the simulation. Like, it all makes sense. But like, I just love that slow progression of like, what is going on here? Because he's got, like, first he looks like he's poo with too much honey in his mouth. And then, Ben there. They, they do. this weird, and that's just C.J. It doesn't look so great. But then they do this like

prosthesis thing, where he, they just, his mouth is totally closed and he looks like fucking Slender Man and it creeps me right out. Keanu would be good to play slender man. Yes, of course. Welcome to my mansion. Why don't you stab your best friend?

See, now I understand how persuasive Slender Man is. He's not that scary. But then they put this horrific bug inside of the bug doesn't look fantastic. but it is so visceral with the belly button stuff. Like this crawfish droid. I can't handle it.

Yeah, this fucking little robot shrimpy thing. I do give the CGI in this movie specifically a lot of leeway because I feel like the mouth stuff that's not a huge effect. I mean, of course.

I mean for that for the time it was probably a huge effect. But for now it's not. And then this shrimpie guy like and it blends well. Yeah. That's the thing. It's like I feel like they don't linger on it as

like I feel like more modern films would linger on the longer and it would be blown out. They would literally be trying to convince you it's real. Yeah. It would be dancing on his fingers first. It's just a thing. Just fucking get over.

It's horrifying, but get over it. He wakes up, which is kind of a great, great idea. It's like, they kind of like play it. So it's like, oh,

you were having a nightmare, Mr. Anderson. Don't worry about it. Which is the smart move on Agent Smith's part because dude, after a guy's interrogating me

and all of a sudden I have like Elmer's glue mouth. like, I'm going to cause a scene. And then Morpheus is like, listen, we got to meet up tonight. Go to the bridge and I got my boys coming for you. All my Australian boys are coming with me. This is where we meet Apoc and Switch and Trinity as well. Yep.

And, you know, they're doing this cool interrogation thing. And she's like, you have to take your shirt off. Switch has a gun to him. He's like, you have to take your shirt off right now. And he's like, oh shit, everyone, this car is going to suck my dick. Oh man. That's so fucking awesome. You better put that gun away. There's no way I'm getting

hard with a firearm in my face. All right. I want a numbered system. You're number one. You're number two and you're number three. And I'm going to go one, go. And you start going. And then at any time I'll be like, three, go. We're just trying to get a bug out of your stomach. No, two, go. Get fucking go. A bug in your stomach. An actual bug thing.

Oh, no. I told you this guy was too much I was too much a masturbator to bring he's not when I'm about

to go put all your faces together tell me uh morpheus like tell me again why you left

neo on the side of the road well he wanted all of us to suck his dick and I was like no you know you picked a real fucking sex pervert

Morpheus well the Oracle did predict that he would be a sex free it is awesome when you know Trinity's like you know

you're bug and he goes Jesus Christ that thing's real it's so awesome this whole thing they have some do dad that sucks

the thing out of here here's my question though what is the like in and out policy with a belly butt because I feel they rip this guy

out of his his tummy there and like you see it fly out and blood goes into the little canister and whatnot are not his guts

falling all over the place you're gonna need a nanosurgeon in there some little thought to do like well you don't but to be fair you don't want to be thinking

about injuries, because this is what I got in my head while I was watching this, when the plugs come out, imagine the dryness and itchiness and pus you're getting around your holes. Going to need a lot of Vaseline in this world. Your new holes. Your brand new holes. Definitely lube up

those holes. Your belly button can't just explode, right? Yeah. But it's not even a real belly button, I guess. It's maybe... Yeah, that's what I would say, Steve. Yeah, because it's probably like, it doesn't exist anyway. and it's just your mind producing it?

Sure. Yeah. So they go to a ramshackle house, obviously. One of their many ramshackle houses. And this is when Morpheus Lawrence Fischman reveals himself. And he is so goddamn cool. The whole, the reveal of Larry Fishman in this movie Rock's ass. Absolutely.

And, you know, he gives the whole thing about, you know, you're living in a dream world, et cetera, et cetera. Again, more, a lot more if you, again, if you're a gender studies person, a lot of trans imagery here just about like you felt it your entire life like there's something wrong with the world you don't know what it is but it's there like a splinter in your mind driving you mad

like my god the way he delivers the fucking lines in this movie man no now just to be clear you've already tried SSRIs correct okay yes we could go on we clear that we get through that first speaking of pills this is the big thing this red pill blue pill bit.

Sure. Sure. Do you want day quill to stay up all day or night quill that will make you sleepy? But I I was basically going to make the same joke but with Tylenolp. I like that. So feel free to continue. No, but I do

if I'm P.O. and I'm like a little freaked out by this because he seems to be I'd be like is there a no pill option? Is there like a B just going downstairs calling a cab? You have to eat something that I I'm holding. You get to pick which one, but you're eating one of them.

Like, can I just call it Uber real quick? You don't want the red pill and you don't want the blue pill. Fine. How about something from a selection of this little jar of jelly beans I have? Yeah, you know, you were born into bondage like everyone else, a slave in your own mind. And if you can guess the amount of jelly beans, you get a prize. The prize, by the way, is being freed from the matrient. I'm really trying to cover all my faces.

And then Mouse is like, nobody guesses the jelly beans on the first try. It's 198. But he was supposed to be the one. He's not guessing the beans. Man, all these guys think they're hilarious. They always guess 69. No, that was buttered popcorn. Yeah, guess the flavor of the jelly bellies, dude.

Man, that's a great flavor, too. You wouldn't think it would be, but that's a great flavor. It works. So, like, listen, if Jelly Belly was like movie theater fanat, Here is the buttered popcorn jelly bean exclusive. Yep. This guy's picking it up. I'll tell you what I cannot stand jelly beans in any format. Is that right?

Fuck Easter and the mouth. I don't know. I don't know why. I've just never cared for jelly beans at any kind of. Well, first of all, did you have the popcorn one? It's the texture. It's the size. You could just say no.

It's the answer. No. So that's why because you haven't had the popcorn. I haven't had the popcorn. Listen, here's the thing. the standard issue like dust bowl jelly beans where it's just like

the green, the orange, the dreadish fucking licorice. The grampy starter pack. Exactly. Terrible. But if you can get into the modern world with the jelly belly ingenuity listen Steve, there's a lot of fun to be had there. Oh, they go on forever. There's like a plum wine jelly bean.

I mean, it was like, oh, this is the good jelly bean. I'm like, it's still it's still like a fucking toddler's tooth. And it's You know what, then have a skittal and wake up in your old fucking lives. I will absolutely. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Trinity. Trinity. Has anybody guessed Pina Colada that fast? He must be the one. I told you. I told you he was the one. He gets red pilled here, ladies and gentlemen. Hello.

It's incredible how those fucking morons co-opted that this incorrectly. Stupid fucks. So much to tell them about the trans allegory. I mean, I'm sure someone tried to and they didn't believe it. Or you're talking about trains to me? You can buzz off.

It is amazing how all the wrong, all the wrong people watch this movie. It's amazing. Absolutely. Well, yeah, you know, you watch this movie and, yeah. I mean, it's unsurprising people read it wrong. 30 million DVDs. It's a lot of wrong eyes on there.

How about that? Sure. Yeah, a lot of unvaccinated DVD owners probably too. What it's, what this movie is about is how we should have more guns in the computers. I have so many guns in my regular life. How about, you know, they go into my computer life. We need armed guards inside the internet because my kids talking to pedophiles on there.

All I need is where is that white room he goes into with like the train of guns that comes through it? That give me that train of guns and we'll fucking figure this shit out. By the way, I appreciate the fact that that is a white room if you know what I mean. And I love just feeling a black shaft old. day long. Gun Chef. Oh, God. No! Why couldn't we get those, that beautiful gun space in Kuwait? Why couldn't we, how we'll finish that? I wish I could suck that gun all day long until blows my fucking head off. See, Jared, Jerry just needs a gun in his computer. That's all he wants. Conservative Matrix. I love it. It exists, though. It's like, oh, blah, yeah, I just, I, you know, I never really

bothered to look into who directed those movies. Yeah, totally. Is that Steven Spielberg? Did I miss that? That's probably one of them Jews. Speaking of which, I found it quite shocking that the 4K disc that I bought in I believe 2019 dead names

the Wachowski's. Really? Really? That's shocking. I think I have the same set. Yeah. Did they change that officially on the end credits of this? God, I feel that's, I don't know because I know the... I watched on HBO Max, I don't remember how it ended. I want to say... I'm actually interested.

I want to say I saw somebody on Twitter talking about they went because they... We should say we're recording this before Matrix Resurrections comes out. None of us have seen it yet. No. But in the lead up to that, they have re-released Warner Brothers put the first movie back out in theaters.

And I want to say somebody went and saw that and they were like, they're still fucking dead naming them in this re-release. really yeah that's wild oh yes no i'm looking at it right now because i just pulled it up on my i'm on my computer here uh and he's putting the phone down it is and he wachaski learned it's shocking yeah they don't name them yeah it's totally like what a fucking small thing that's not hard of you to do it all warner brothers home video department it's pretty easy to just like fix that uh so yeah this is joey pants kansas is going bye bye and he starts oh dude i will say you

computer effect that totally still gets me the liquid mirror right here this is a Keanu thing too though his performance of oh it's cold oh oh it's like it's so it you feel how cold it is because he's doing a good job he the the vacant thing that everybody

always complained about works really well for this kind of character with Keanu yes the thing that everybody was like that's a bad thing I'm like no no no no it just wasn't used right like this is where it's used correctly hey Morpheus I'm going to take this red pill really quickly. Could you ask that little weird New Jersey guy to leave, though?

Because I just, I want to be in all of my faculties when that guy is around. Hey, I'm a kid from Hoboken. Hey, Morpheus, I'm feeling this red pill kick in. I don't know, man. Could you turn on some Christmas lights or something? Ask that guy to stop yelling. You'll be harshing my- fucking orange slices.

That right, Neo, you're freaking out. Man, listen, Seifer. You're really harshing my unplugging, dude. You know, whenever Cypher is in the Matrix, whenever I see him, he's always hanging out near a horse stable. I don't know. I don't know why. I'm really mystified by it. Yes, the horse's name is Pye Zero, my. That horse, by the way, is still alive, FYI.

No, Paiomai is still alive now. Or at least it was three years ago, there was some sort of, I don't even know, I got a sponsored ad that was like. Was it, was it the Sopranos cast? Where are they now? It was an expo and it was like. come meet Paiobai the horse No look first of all No it's dead it's a backstage switch switcheroo I'm sorry is absolutely no way

for someone attending that convention to confirm that that's Pai oh by how did that horse survive the HBO like luck holocaust you're totally right man they were just losing horses left and right at the home box office network and that's a shame too because who was that Michael

man or something? Michael man, a bunch of people were on that. I never saw it, but it's like Michael man TV show sounds good. It was good. Unfortunately, it just had a fucking body count. Okay, here it is, there is a there is an Instagram handle which is, because I remember

I looked this up being my wife for obsessing it for about a couple weeks, which is Paiomai is alive. Kimberly Ann, Paiomine, Goldie is alive. I've been her owner. I'm Kimberly who's loved her. Piobe is 22 years old today, my friend. I feel like

this very day it says December the 16 I guess so Happy birthday Pyomai That's amazing Well I

I think horses I think horses like Unless you're like You know Breaking a leg At the racetrack or something Yeah I think they do

Kind of live for like 40 years Well then all these fat Italians Wanted to ride I'm like nope no You're not allowed to Sorry We want Paiomai to be alive So Neo

you know, is rebirthed out of his pod. This goop, dude, it's pretty sweet. Totally. This whole thing. It's like, it's such an incredible job at like, okay, we have this whole like, you know, weird city thing and it's dark and it's raining a lot. We got cool sunglasses and jackets on and guns and whatever. What is like the exact opposite aesthetic? Like, he's going to wake up in a fucking goo pod. And there's a bunch of, there's millions of other goo pods all around him as far as like it is such a mind fuck

on your eyes when we change into the you know the real world you love it yeah yeah and then you know instead of like leather daddy outfits we have like itchy wool sweaters and shit and that's just that hey man that's the real world for you and looks more comfy too I gotta be it is it's cozy

you want to eat that snot well no that's a totally different thing we were talking about wardrobes okay it does it does like a nice loose sweater is nice too but you know those little leather dusters and stuff not too shabby. By the way, the other thing those sequels I'm not too fond of,

he's dressed like a fucking Jesuit priest or something. He really is. I like the leather outfit, you know, the leather jacket. He's got this, like, cool t-shirt in this movie until he, then he turns into fucking Robert De Niro in the Jesuit. Or I'm said, the mission, apology. The mission, yeah, yeah.

I love, I mean, because the mouth thing in the interrogation room is included in this, also, of course, so much body horror in this movie. Oh, yeah. The plugs popping off his body. Oh, fuck, it's great. Then the whole, like, we're going to rebuild your muscles because you've never used them and all these needles are everywhere.

Yeah. I'm like, oh, why does my eyes hurt? Oh, because you've never used them. Well, yeah, what incredible line? What does, I mean, God, whatever amount of years in K.Y. Jelly due to your skin? That's a good question. He's probably pretty moisturized.

I am willing to take up that experiment. Would you even get pruning? We're going to do these all by remote in the future. I'm not going on to where I'll be in my fucking tub covered in K-Y. Here's my question, though. If you're- Waiting for my Trinity to show up. If you're a great big fat person in the Matrix,

you should, you would be fat in your pod. So you wake up and you're like, say, all right. Is that true, though? Like, I don't know. It's a good question. I mean, oh, A, there's no fat people in this movie, so I don't know one way or another.

You're just eating more dead, liquefied dead people? Like, you're just like, oh boy, they ate a whole fucking school. We're going to have to give this one two pods. That's true. Yeah, exactly. Like an airplane seat. Oh, yeah.

Kevin Smith, too fat to pod. Oh, right. Yeah, I forgot about that. Remember his whole too fat to fly thing? He wasn't able. Is that before or after he broke a toilet off a wall? It was, I believe. Same era.

The flight incident was before the toilet. The toilet was the pseudo-wake call and then the heart attack was the wake up, wake up. And now he's skinnier than Sceania Reeves himself these days. So he wakes up on the Nebuchadnezzar. They're doing weird cool acupuncture to him.

I wanted to get in on some of this man. It looks pretty appealing. I would rather have someone like develop my muscles for him. Please. Sounds way better. While I sleep, absolutely. That's I mean, this whole sleep learning thing

is where it's at. Plug me in. let me learn fucking French for once Exactly You would figure that's some You know That would have been Kind of an interesting thing

In some of these movies Especially with the My God They say it's so much In them two other movies The Merovingian Like Yes

You know Why isn't that something Oh I want to communicate With this man Teach me French Oh operator I need to learn French Or is playing with language

Would have been kind of cool Also like when the The actress I played the Oracle passed away Between the second and third movie, yeah. And they recast, I feel like they should have gone wildly different

with that recast. Yes, exactly. And she's like, oh, yeah, I could look whatever what I want to look like, but I want to be an older black woman every time. Yeah. They found an actress that had worked with the previous actress. They played either mother, daughter, or sisters in a very famous play on Broadway

many years before the movie. I forget what it was. I think it was a play, though. And they had acted together. before. I mean, yeah, I don't think it's a good decision, but they are both good in the role. Yeah, yeah. I'm not trying to fall back, but it just would have been interesting to see

them play, like, a totally different race or gender or something to switch it up. Or like a young kid or something. Or like, you know, Neo's like, I have to go see the Oracle one last time. And he goes into the apartment and like, oh, I smell cookies baking and like he gets into the kitchen

and it's fucking Danny DeVee. Look, it's me. Hey, Neo, look. Look. It's me, the Oracle. I know exactly what's going to happen. Don't worry. Not what you were expected, right? Definitely not.

I've changed my form once again. Now I'm a Japanese clown. Would you like some pastries? But he's walking around the Nabokinanzer. I love to look at the Nebuchadnezzar. You know, big time. He's telling them everything about it. He's like, yes, Neo.

They send us cheesy movies. It's the worst they can find. but I get through it with the help of my robot friends, Mio. Morpheus, I've walked around all of the Nebuchadnezzar. This is the only locked door. What's in here?

Oh, that's the riff room. Morpheus, we got movie signed. That's right, but can you survive Mitchell, Mr. Anderson? We have to communicate with the satellite of love. Mr. Anderson, I dare you to watch the entirety of Santa Claus

Conquers the Martians. I need the mainframe codes for the satellite of love because then I can get out of here. I can't watch Hobgoblins. It's the smell. Listen, Leo, if you get too freaked out by the Matrix, just remember,

it's only a show. You should really just relax, okay? It's only a show, just relax. You think that's air you're breathing? Mr. Anderson, I think it's quite hilarious. You attempted to fast forward through all the sketches

to get back to the movie. Which is what I do every time I watch that. Mr. Anderson, you will not be fast forwarding this broadcast. We are doing invention exchange. But yeah, so this is where he's meeting everybody. Apoc, Switch, Cipher,

Tank and Dozer introduced right here. And Mouse, Tank and Dozer, Of course, born in the real world, real folk, not, you know, yeah, residents of Zion. What's Mousis? Mouss is a, Mouss is a freed matrix. Yes, he does go back in later. That's right. Eric Siska, do you know who, the man who played mouse also played?

No, I didn't even look this up. Abraham Zuprooter? No. Oh, that'd be nice. Oh, that was Paul Giamatti. So this is a little, he's a little guy. It's a name you know very well. Jawa number five.

Close. Jawa number five But a little bit of Baru Lys by my side Little bit of Owens What I need Little bit of Quigons All I see

Who was it, Chris Lansley's Bagano Oh no Crazy Lonzley's back Which how fucking hilarious is it That we took it to Star Wars though Wow It is amazing

It is funny to me though because, like, I, I, this, this trilogy and the prequels are tied in that I think they're probably the two biggest examples of, like, big, uh, blockbusters that are highly influenced by anime. Hmm. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

What do you got there, Steve? No, I agree with Chris. Yeah. I mean, I think that the, the anime is huge here. The influence, I mean, that's what, I mean, like, you can do the Lichowski influences so the cows come home. Sure. The kung fu movies, the anime, uh, Grant Morrison's the Invisibles, which, uh, he might,

might even have a legal suit against, but he never actually filed it. Really? Is that right? What is the Invisibles about? It's about a group of sexy, what do you call it, 20-somethings that go around

trying to free the world from this reality-bending space slugs kind of a thing. It's very, very similar. The world is kind of a simulation. It's not a simulation, but it's a hologram. Oh.

The main character is referred to as the one a lot. It's real. Yeah. And speaking of the anime influence, I feel like this is also one of these movies where it's like, people started watching anime because of this in a way, you know? Oh, yeah, yeah. And then also that probably inspired future anime.

But this isn't a complaint. I think I love directors that have huge wide swats of influences and just kind of confined and condense them into a red pill of sorts. You know what I mean? Like, it gives you everything you need of those things. And like, you can always point like, ah, you're ripping that off.

You're ripping that off. And sometimes you legally are in trouble. But other times, it's pretty fucking cool. Yeah, I mean, like, look, all art is influenced by other art. That's just a 100% fact. I mean, you can also, I mean, say what you want about his movies. You know, I know a lot of people dislike him and it's completely totally fine. But like QT is the same way.

Yes. Oh, yeah. You know, you watch Quentin Tarantino movies and it's like, oh, he's pulling from this. He's pulling from that. And it's like literally just things he likes watching. I've been watching some De Palma lately. And that dude pulled, he does QTs all the fucking time. Oh, big, Brian De Palma loves him some Alfred Hishko.

Oh, yeah. It's just all Hitchcock. I think I picked up a little Hishcock. Oh, yeah. Just a little bit. But at the same time, it's like, it hits you right on the nose. Some of those movies with the Hitchcock influence. Yeah.

But it's great. Oh, yeah. So why I'm not going to complain. It's your point is supposed to, you're supposed to, like, transcend. You're supposed to like transcend. Transcend your goddamn influences. Yeah. It's okay that you have them.

You're just supposed to pass. I just go by, pass them. I just rewatch Body Double first time since college. Yeah. Holy fuck, that movie slaps and a half. Oh, yeah. I will take an influence over a reference every, any day of the week. You know what I mean?

Yes. That's the difference. Influence is something that draws you in, that draws from. And those in the know are like, oh, that's kind of like that movie I like. Or oh, that's like that book that I read or whatever. As opposed to like, here's the book. You know what I mean? like just like or remember you know remember when that happened winky wink yes exactly i will say i think

body double is probably the best movie that bill mar has starred in oh wow what's funny is we did that we did a live show in cleveland ohio on uh the dream warriors that nightmare in elm street three also starring larry fishburn yeah and this guy this guy who looks like bill mar Craig Watson, the better Bill Marr is in Body Double and Dream Wars. Never said the N-word on HBO, thank God. Not yet. So, Neo is meeting his new pals. This is when Morpheus plugs him back in the Matrix and he's like, you have to be shown

with the Matrixes. He explains that it is a simulation. Everything you know is fake. And, you know, the world ended, you know, 100 years ago. We blocked out the sun because there is, you know, of all that solar powered bullshit. Everyone's been turned into weird batteries. That is the funniest.

And like you can I mean like, you know, we're in 2021 now and who knows somebody listening to this like five, six years on, who knows where we're at. But like the fucking idea that human society was like, you know what?

Them robots are getting a little too a little too pushy here. Getting a little too violent with us and whatnot. In order to like prevent the overthrow of our society. Let's just block out the sun and destroy it. We don't need that, but they have solar cells.

Citizen Mr. Burns came up with a great idea. Bomb the sky. And that's like the only part I remember of the Animatrix movie. Oh, by the way. I will tell you that that's the only thing that Joe Mansion, Joe Biden, Mitch

McConnell would all agree on like to shoot a nuke at the sun and block it all. Ah! God damn it, man And the only thing left it This is America We gotta put a nuke at the sun It's a bipartisan

It's amazing A bipartisan decree To block out the sun Isn't that great And then Kirsten cinema goes Oh that's a great idea A thumbs up I've talked to my colleagues

And I've told them all That we're gonna We're gonna get Solar Man And he's gonna He's gonna throw some bombs Into the sun And him Superman are going to do the Watucci

on the moon. And then where am I? Jill? What's going on? No, the president wasn't reciting the plot from Quest for Peace, Superman 4. Next question. Everybody knows that President Biden prefers Superman 3 to Superman 4 the Quest

for Pish. Jen Sacky just wiping the vets of sweat off her fucking forehead. And sending COVID tests to people's stupid. The pandemic's over. God damn. She's just as bad as the rest of them. being a bad the animatrix

which I included on my epic rewatch what is the total runtime of that dog shit no because they're all like a little shorts I think it's like an hour

and 40 or so it's long it's like almost two hours it's basically the most 2000s era edge lord shit you ever seen

it's like that Pearl Jam video do the evolution it's like that for like an hour and then there's like a noir detective

story that kind of doesn't make any sense. The whole runner thing, I was super confused. There's all these things that I'm just like, I don't care. I remember being a kid being like 19 or 20, getting Superstone with buddies, being like, oh, you have to watch this to understand the next Matrix movie, which we're all super excited about. Ready

guys? And I think we just turned it off. But I actually remember, like, I was like, this is kind of cool. Back when it came out. Really? It's funny because after going through the whole trilogy, you know, I went to like, I think check something on like the revolution's Wikipedia page and wound up reading the whole thing.

And like they were like, oh yeah. And Niobe, who is a Jada Pinkett Smith's character in the other two movies, like does this, that and the other thing. Because of what she encountered in Enter the Matrix or whatever this video game was. Oh, yeah. So then you go and I looked at like the page for that and read the plot. And sure enough, like there's just a bunch of. a shoot with Niobe and this other dude that's on her crew and they have a whole

fucking adventure but like she goes and sees the Oracle at one point and that's it like she says it in that third movie like all right I'm willing to give Morpheus or I'm willing to give Neo my ship because of something the Oracle told me and I'm like well what's

that about and then sure enough it was because of that video game something and that like bad bad bad cross medium storytelling nonsense the Wachoski's leaned into the eucasism big time. Absolutely.

They absolutely. They got high on their own supply at the end. You know what I mean? It was just very much like, oh yeah, it'll be this whole multimedia thing

and like a fucking experience it's every single day. If you go on the website, you'll find out this. If you play the video game, you'll find out that. It does make sense for the subject matter. So I'm kind of like,

I do get it in a way. But it's a little. And I don't blame anyone for selling out. Like get your money, man. I would do the same fucking thing. I'd be like, yeah, dude, sure.

The only way that you're going to understand this episode, of we hate movies. You have to play the we hate movies video game. Yeah. And now folks at home, you don't understand some of the sly references we weave into every episode because you're not listening to the nexus at the $8 level

on chatriot.com slash we hate movies. Oh shit, you're kind of right. That video game has so much of consequence going on it because that's also the video game where Morpheus dies in the timeline. Get out of town. And now is this going to be

cycled into the canon now? I get the feeling it's going to be... It seems like they're just recasting every character in this new movie. But that, that video game that I'm talking about takes place between the second and the third movie. But I think there's another one. I mean, there must have been. There was, I mean,

there's some... I've heard about this. When the trailer for the, when the first trailer for Resurrection came out, everybody was like wondering if, uh, what's his name from Watchmen is going to be? Is Morpheus, but younger? Right. And, and everybody's like, you know, Morpheus is dead. And they showed this

little clip you can find it online of this weird assassin guy crawling out of a vent I think it might be one of the ghost twins maybe it looks kind of like them and shoots a bit that's you know what everybody you know what everybody

there's some internet article from August 21st 2020 I'm sorry to say that Lawrence Fishburn died in the 2005 matrix MMO RPG gotcha that's fantastic Dijy died in Mario RPG.

Dude, he never got out of that third Luigi's mansion, man. Who's going to inherit the mansion now? Oh, you're going to have to sleep one night in that mansion. Got all the ghosts out, but now there's a mouse. So,

it's kind of, I do love Joe Pendleyado. He goes out of the Matrix. He's like, he's got a pop, which is an amazing expression. Do people actually explode? Do people's brains explode when this shit happens? Well, I think that was right. say at one point like

they normally like unplug children and that like when you're an adult it's harder to unplug you yada yada and that yeah that is when Joey Pants yells that he's gonna pop oh shit look out

shit you want the Gallagos when you shit tell about the Matrix shit oh shit and this is like this whole sequence is Morpheus like really doing the whole like all right everybody gather around. I'm going to tell you

exactly what happened. This is where he mentions the thing about the human beings crack the sky because they thought robots couldn't work without the sun and now there's just like fields of people. People are no longer born. They're grown and because we're

valuable to these robots because the human heart essentially produces energy or produces electricity that they harvest from us and use to power themselves. Right. Yeah. the idea and you know, which is why I'm not having kids.

That's right. You robot. Exactly. Starve motherfucker. Yeah. And yes, we dine on the liquefied dead and it's fed back to our enslaved human.

Like, man, it's disgusting. You're watching this little baby. Oh, yeah. In a pod with the black tooth. This is the most tool video this movie ever gets.

And I'm here for it, dude. I was hearing that fucking slapping base a mile away. Brum-bob-bamp. I am in a computer. It is all sloppy in here. Did you see the fucking bases from Tool the other day? Got arrested. What?

He was like fucking getting a fight with some dude at an airport. Okay. Yeah. Everybody's loser. I almost got arrested at the airport that one. You almost did. We almost didn't have a tour. Yeah.

I called the guy at Grampi to his face. Anyway, this fucking. It's also... Did he play for tool? No, no. He worked for some bank, of course. Yeah, because then you stared at his laptop the whole...

I memorized his name and Googled him when we got off the fight. That is no less insane than McGruber being obsessed with the license. Because I was like, this fucker, this Ohio motherfucker. Turns out he lives in New Jersey. I've got all the information. Anyway... Goldman Sachs 17 Worcester Street, Department of 1778. I repeat it to myself.

every night. But this feeding the dead stuff, you know, this is another amalgamation of all the sci-fi influences. It's like a soiling green thing, which is cool. And honestly, like, especially with the lobby, I feel like there's a lot of Cameron going on. I mean, and the whole, the war with the machines,

we blot out the sun, nuclear holocaust. That's all Terminator. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. It's just Terminator with, like, the internet. Yes. Terminator with a dial-up modem. Could he use some skull beach in the Matrix franchise. I would like, honestly, because the thing is, like, another knock against those sequels is I want to see a more tactile on the ground environment.

Like, we're just in hovercrafts and then we're in Zion. Show me some ruined cities. Maybe a set piece in some fucking wasteland would be cool. That's the thing is I don't think, I mean, other than the actual city they go to at the end of revolutions. Which is like the robot city? Yeah, but I feel like it is all fields. Like, I think that's the thing is the difference between the Cameron robots and the Ocowski. robots is the fucking Cameron robots were

sloppy as shit. They left everything out. All the dead bodies and stuff are just piling up everywhere. When he gets to Robots City that third movie, they're all like little bugs and shit. Like bug robots. The robots are smart. They just fucking like terraform the whole thing with computers. Mr. Anderson, I will not abide an unclean house. We do not leave the dead strewn about. Pick up your toys, Mr. Anderson.

What did we say about leaving skulls in the driveway? Guys, guys, we've won the war. We cannot just leave our skulls out. When Agent Smith has that line to Morpheus later in the film when he's interrogating him about like, you had your time and that is gone. And it's like it's now, the future is our time. Yeah. Agree 100%. Let the computers just take over. I'm done with humans. Absolutely. A fucking computer would take a vaccine. I think my liberty is in being infractured

and now you will be unplugged forever I want to live Save us the fucking trouble Kid Rock was right Kid Rock could be like a robot name Absolutely periods in there I can't wait till Kid Rock gets Omicron I hope he definitely passes away

Well the good thing is human so he will. Eventually. And this is joke satire parody. I don't wish any harm on anyone. You know. Well, you're always looking for things to live on for, Eric. I'm telling you, Kid Rock's death is going to be a hell of a day.

That would be a wonderful. I'm waiting for that push notification along with a laundry list of other push notifications. Guarantee you, guarantee you this prediction here. We could play this in the future clip and whatever. He's going to like lay in state. Like he's going to be at like the fucking Washington Monty. Yeah. like Lenin. No, he's not going to be at the Washington

Monument. He's going to be a fucking monster truck rally. The Michigan Beer Hall. I'm telling you, dude, you know, President Matt Gates is going to have like a crazy fucking funeral possession for Kid Rock. I mean, Mark my words. Over the

years of recording this show, you know, there has been stuff come up, you know, like when we are on the air. Fucking, I learned of the passing of both Philip Seymour Hoffman and James Gillen Delfini doing this fucking show. For once. Let it be someone I hate.

Let me check what's trending on Twitter. There's a great bit in all of this expository stuff that he's spouting out here. One of the things I think is totally fascinating and like, you know, this new movie is going to be whatever it is. But like, man, it would be cool to see.

It's sort of like, I guess how I really want to see the Darth Plague's story in Star Wars. Like in this when Morpheus is saying to Neo like, look, I believe that you are the one which is the reincarnation of this dude who was born inside the Matrix and he was a guy that was capable

of manipulating the Matrix with his mind and he was the guy that originally he was the guy that originally started freeing people from the Matrix. Like, I want that story. I want to see that dude like that awakening, that guy like probably pretty cool. And it's kind of interesting how we get it obviously the

super heavy handed Jesus Christ type of thing down to the Judas turn. But it's also like the Dalai Lama. Like we need to find the new reincarnation. Yes. You could be the new, Ted. Look out. He was born in the Matrix. He was incredible.

Ted. Ted. All bound down before the almighty. Ted. And now how did, and how did Ted go down? Right? Like, yeah. What happened to that guy? Was it like a pure Jesus thing where he's like, no, no, no, I'm just going to be killed so my followers can whatever. because it wasn't Agent Smith so like there must have been

a prior proger antagonist in the Matrix yeah that'd be cool dude like set you could do that set it in like the 80s or something because the Matrix is like a never space time dude it's like the Matrix colon

halt and catch fire exactly yeah well if it's 80s you could be counsel for doing blackface sure no we couldn't follow him anymore he did something with shoe polish. Oh, God.

Something. Oh, my gosh. But he was dating Whoopi Goldberg at the time. That was the Canadian Prime Minister. I was thinking of Ted Dansy did blackface. And Chris was thinking of Justin Thoreau or not Justin Trudeau, excuse me. Maybe Justin Thoreau did blackface. I don't know.

He could have. But I do love that, you know, that this exposition could be clunky, could be not interesting, but the fact that he does it within the program and shows it to you, and we're moving around. We see the cursed earth or whatever you call it. Welcome to the desert, we call it. Yes. Yeah, we're watching this all in an old tube television,

which I absolutely love. It's very, it's very striking. And then the next thing. Because again, it's a thing, right? Like, even with the Matrix, right? This like sci-fi masterpiece. We did not predict flat screen television. No, you couldn't.

No, no, no. I couldn't do it, man. He wakes up, and then this is when he starts learning all this stuff. Again, it's like he gets plugged in and Tank is ready to go. Tank is even like, oh, wow, I've never seen someone learn all this stuff so fast. That's, yeah, exactly. This is, I mean, this is the, he wakes up and goes, I know Kung Fu. And the thing is, like, I know Kung Fu, like, became a huge thing.

Yeah, yeah. But the fucking response from Larry Fishburn is also awesome, show me. Yeah, oh, yeah. You know. The sparring program. This is all, I mean, I still can, I mean, this is how much this movie affected me watching it for the first time, like, anytime I watch it, I recall, like, looking at this and being like, I have never seen anything like this before. And I understand, ladies and

gentlemen, that Chinese cinema, you know, was doing wirework and other people were doing wirework for fucking ages. But me, as a fucking suburban little fat kid in upstate New York, was not exposed to any of that. This was my first exposure to it. This was the ground zero of that shit. And, like, it knocked me on my ass, seeing that, like, movies could be. this. I didn't, I don't even think the Bouchard Weinstein version of Iron Monkey was out yet. I don't think you had much of any mainstream like

Crutching Tigers the next year. And that, I mean, that again, I just rewatched most of that. I fell asleep the other night. But like that again, it was just like, Kung Fu movies were regulated to like grind house cinemas back. Exactly. Yes. Yeah. And this was like holy fuck. And not only that, this is like really polished high budget shit.

Oh yeah. Yeah. And Crouching Tiger, you know. How did I beat you? You have the game. Trinity comes up Tank So Tank You know There's some really

Interesting fighting styles In the comma suture If you want to load that up Into his little thing there I know I know Fuck food I can

Conalingis Show me Yes That's a trading program But I mean like This is What would we always make fun Of his trading scenes

Oh, why does he... That's true. This is a really engaging training scene. Not only that's a really cool fight. And it advances. It's not just stopping the movie to say, look, he learned this. You're learning more about the progression of the prophecy and shit. It's moving the plot.

And you're learning about the physics of things and how you can manipulate it. If you press the triangle twice, you could do a double jump, Neo. All right, Neo, here's what you have to remember. You stick this little gold piece of plastic up your ass. then you can do all sorts of cool moves. Also, Infinity M. If you all of a sudden say, Hyukin, don't worry.

If you run into any problems, blow into your own cartridge. Barring that, maybe get a Q-tip and some rubbing alcohol. Yes. Classic medic shit. Mr. Anderson, please use save points when appropriate. Even if you think you don't need them,

always use them. You never know what around the next corner. Neo, you must save more than you realize you should save. Do you get the jump program? Yeah, load the jump program tank. Let's do it.

This is where I would fail. I'll be like, dude, I'm sorry, man. Can you drop me back off with the tank? Put me in that fucking pod in the fields of people. I'm sorry. I can't be jumping off buildings. I'm going to go find that

Depeche Mode couple and fuck them. I think that sounds like a good thing for me to do now. This is, this is what he sees he sees Morpheus do it and this is where we get the whoa yes which fucking rules

of course everybody falls the first time including Neo right it goes right down and then we also from this like because he's got a little blood on his lip when they come out of this and then Morpheus is like when you die in the game you die for real

yeah it's just like that amazing movie stay alive remember that one it's a classic Frankie Munoz was the best president it this country had before the world fell. The wrong foster got famous. They, I mean, it's kind of crazy

how much this exposition disguised as training and discovery continues because we immediately go into another program. This is them walking down the street. There's the sexy red-headed dress, or red-blonde red-wearing,

red-dress wearing, my gosh. God, you know, woman walks by, and he's talking about how, like, you know, there are some sentient programs out there that have, like, realized that their programs and, you know, act accordingly and take, you know, use that to their advantage or whatever. Neo, this is what we call a thirst trap. And, like, you know, so Agent Smith is a sentient program. The Oracle is a sentient program. The fucking Merovingian in the next movie is a sentient, you know, all these things. wasn't there a line in one of those sequels about like how if people see

like ghosts or UFOs oh that's a program run a mock or something that's pretty cool detail I actually that's something I like about those ones vampires, werewolves, aliens ghosts I love that I love that that's what the next one should be about

it's like oh no Neo you didn't realize the werewolves are around and they just it's just Neo fighting werewolves for an hour into it. Mr. Anderson I specifically instructed you to stay off the moors. If I was one of those, like, creepy ghost twins in that second movie, like, I'm just haunting people. I'm sorry. I don't give a shit about your whole fucking thing.

Yeah, I'm not working for the Merovingia and I'm haunting houses. Exactly. I'm living in a castle going, ooh. Fuck it. Yeah, you can move through walls. Why are you hanging out in this restaurant all day? Yeah, exactly. Fucking carrying water for this Frenchman. I don't think so. I mean, I like, I like looking at Monica Balucci as much as the next man. Or the next ghost. Sorry. I could get a photo of that I might have one but then the next minute he shows them all this stuff

and the next thing is he's having this is the goop scene and the goop scene's really rough it's it's when I'm like yep I'm totally on Joey Pants' side immediately immediately yes eating of the the snotty shit

that it's like tasty wheat no it's not it's like fucking cum with the corn in it Okay, I'm not eating But how did the machines know what tasty wheat tasted like? And maybe chicken, they didn't know

how to figure it out. That's why chicken tastes like every These, this is fun shit. It's fun shit. I love this. You know what? Fucked me up. We know what really fucked me up?

I've never had pizza in my entire life. Never. I thought I did. I thought I had fucking pizzas by the pound. But I never had it. Who decided come supposed to be salty? Who did decide that, Chris? What Sentinel did that?

What do you mean I got to run the pineapple protocol? Oh, man. Yeah, if I were to run that pineapple protocol twice. Oh, my God. I'm pretty around here. We actually get the scene with Agent Smith and Seifers going out to dinner together, which is a delightful little evening. Oh, Mr. Seifer.

This is the last time I let you pick the restaurant. It's cool because he's not eating. So he must the way, he must. tell this computer waitress. Oh, nothing for me, thanks. I'm fine with water. I ate at the office before I came here. A certain someone didn't inform me

they had dinner reservations. I had a gigabyte before I was right. A couple of megabytes and then a gigabyte and I was so full in my computer belly. You must excuse me. I don't shit. Interesting

detail. Is that Cypher's real last name is Reagan. Yes, I called that last night, too. Which is, oh, I totally miss that. Yeah, Mr. Reagan. Oh. Someone who also stabbed us on the back. I want to go back into

the Matrix because my Matrix wife suck good dick! That's why I also thought it was funny when he was like, I want to go back and be someone important, like an actor. Yeah. Okay. So I think turn you to Nancy Reagan. There you go. You set, here's what you do. Our prequel idea of Ted begins.

Uh-huh. We get Ronald Reagan as president is actually Cyper. I like this. Yeah, we get some Joey pants like Oh, mommy! I need more fucking jellybeats in here. I just realized this would have worked if he didn't get shot and killed in this movie.

Yeah. Whoops. But yeah, you know, fuck, I would take the steak in the wine. Oh, of course. Sure, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's also, they put some work

into photographing this state. it looks fantastic. I mean, it's a big honk in peace. He's holding up in the thing, and he's just looking at it. It looks fantastic. It's not like a tiny morsel either. No, it's a big one.

And Joey Pants is just holding cord. He's like, I know my brain tells me that this is all these aminos, blah, blah, blah, and it's not real. Oh, but it's fucking great, isn't it? Oh, geez, Maron this thing. Maron this thing. Oh, Mr. Reagan, please compute Maron.

What do you mean by that? What do you humans mean by Marone? What is a gumar, Mr. Reagan? I think my friend is trying to order the macaroni. What do you mean you're a made man? Of course you are the Matrix made this form of you. What are you getting at? Friends of ours, what do you mean by that exactly?

Mr. Reagan. Apparently, I can't be in your club because I don't have the right blood, Mr. Reagan. Yeah, I want you to plug me back in. I want to be an actor or something. Make me the hero, risky business. Tom Cruise to filthy pimp. Seifre's whole thing here, by the way, is Smith is hounding him

because he's crooked and he wants Seifre to give him the codes to enter Zion. And Seifer keeps saying, you know, I'm telling you, I don't have that. And, you know, but I know who does. Obviously, it's Morpheus. You know, I will give you his location.

The agreement is, They put him back into the matrix. They wipe his mind completely so he doesn't remember any of his traitorous activity. And yes, he wants to be someone important, maybe an actor. And it's kind of great because Agent Smith this whole time is very much, speaking of the mafia, is a guy like, yes, yes, you will definitely get all that. I certainly won't put an ice pick in the back of your neck. Yeah, very true.

Oh, yeah, you'll get, oh, wherever you want to live for sure. you'll be the president of the fucking United you believe this guy you believe this guy we're fucking moron right told a matrix to give me a nice pick code I need a nice pick code so from here we while we visit the Oracle

that's right yeah oh my lord now this is a this is great too because what it struck me about this scene is you know everyone's like Morpheus make yourself at home Neo come with me to see the Oracle could you imagine if you were just forever called by your online screen name

from now on like Steve it'd be love like, Raging Polack, come with me. And then you're just known as the Raging Polack forever, man. Yes, I have finally met the one. Please welcome, Raging Polack. Dr. Fate, 1983. Come forth.

All right. Here's the one, Big Nuts, Swingas. Hamhawk, 187, right this way. Which is a dude I legitimately. chatted with on X-Files AOL chats Oh no Hamhawk 1-8-7

I hope he hears him Oh wow I'm Oh wow it's the legendary hacker XOXO baby girl 69XO Yeah that is a thing right When you see like bots

Create accounts on Twitter or whatever And them handles are just like John And then a bunch of numbers At least back in the 90s We had some thought out And some exos and what have you? A lot of 69s. Oh, yeah. I mean, if it was

nowadays, it would be much Oh, God. I'll follow you anywhere. COVID-free sperm, my sister 69. Well, there'd be so many like, wait, hold on. Are you super patriot or Uber Patriot?

Both of which are scary. Either way, you're unvaccinated. So your name's So your name's just January 6th, yay. I love a spoon kid. Oh, I ain't no spouties there. That's the best way to do it, right? You just pretend a spouty ain't there.

You can bend anything or you realize it's nothing. That's how to play spooning nothing. All you have to do is realize the spoon is a pudding, as everything is a different kind of pudding. therefore you can manipulate anything. Spoon pudding. Whoa. Mind you,

I'm talking about the meat pudding. The spoon's got the consistency of pudding. Whoa. Crikey, he's playing Spoonie pudding already. I mean, that is a great part, showing that there is no spoon.

This movie fucking hits every fucking scene pretty much. Absolutely. Hasn't anybody play Spoonie putting that quick? That's right. Trinity? So, you know, the

the oracles basically like, you know, listen, Neo, here's the deal, man. I don't think that you're the one. By the way, Morpheus is going to like sacrifice himself to save you. And, you know, one of you is going to die, man. You got to make a choice here, Neo.

And that's sort of like kind of carries us into the latter part of. the movie. And what I love about the latter part of this movie. After this, it's like we are just going for broke. We are doing it, man. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's because, yeah, it becomes a huge.

Like, there's so much exposition in the middle. Again, I think it's done relayed really interestingly, but it is very much fucking action. There's so much action at the end because this is when pants turns on everybody and

you get your deja vu thing, which is it always bugs me because it's not deja vu. like seeing the same animal walk by you twice is not deja vu deja vu. Deja vu is like, oh, I felt like I dreamed this last night as opposed to like literally watching something happened twice

and over. You looked away. What you're talking about is looking away. Wait a minute. Is that the same cat or a different cat? I looked away. I don't know. I guess that's fair, but man, Steve Sadek, you can always count on him to be the word to police. That's right.

Sorry, Mr. Anderson, I believe words matter. Dejaveu was not a correct usage here, Mr. Anderson. You simply looked away. Syntax is important, Mr. Anderson. It is a cool concept that like when you have any, maybe not deja vu, maybe you see something twice or something weird or out of place. Yeah. And it's them changing things. It's a cool concept.

Yes, totally. It happens when they change something. It's very cool. Let's make our way back up to where we were going. Oh, yeah, did you see Mickey Rooney? Yeah, I think I did. Well, every time they change something, Mickey Rooney comes out.

Hey, how's it going? I think they changed something again. Oh, weird. I saw Mickey Rooney. But then I saw him again. Hello. Jimmy Gillikers. Jimmy Gillikers.

He kept getting small. smaller and older looking every time he passed by. Oh, weird. The guy's like four feet tall. Who's four feet tall? Did you see Mickey Rooney? I believe I did. Oh my God. I saw Mickey Rooney, but when I saw him again, he had a bunch of fake

teeth in his mouth. I think it was that fucked up character from Breakfast to Tiffany's. Oh my God. You only see Mickey Rooney when they change things. The sentinels are coming. Mickey Rooney's here. I saw a giant Mickey Rooney from that weird Twilight Zone episode where he's a giant

in a tiny room but yes they're going upstairs and they realize that oh they're fucked the window is now a bricked-up wall and they're like escaping through a weird vent thing because all the

agents are getting them like they're like climbing through the wall. This is interesting. Yes. Morpheus calls like I calls tank or whatever I need the nearest wet wall which means the plumbing is there so I guess it's easier to climb down. Which is an interesting parallel

with in revolutions Naomi goes through the, essentially the plumbing of the world left over. That's totally she pilots the ship back through like a plumbing duct or something. Yeah. We should say also mouse, rest in peace.

This dude gets fucking ice right here. So goddamn hard. So hard. I mean, I love that. Farewell, Slee's back and out. This is what happens to all. You know, he's the guy that's sex positive. So we got to kill. him first. I mean, that's, in any other movie

and Eric, I'd agree with you, but this is the hornyest movie ever made. Everyone's sex-positive. Everyone is sex-posit. I do love, he's got like these huge Duke, Duke of guns that he gets in the, but he still gets annihilated anyway. Dude, this guy gets like a hundred bullets right in the chest.

It's kind of great. Run, Sonia Corleone protocol. Oh, definitely. And, you know, I even just love these shots we have of like these SWAT dudes walking around with the flashlight guns. And it's like, oh, is that a cough and just moving the...

The movie fucking whips, man. It's fucking great because I think it's, is it Morpheus that sneezes? Someone sneezes. A cipher, which is like, is it a giveaway? He does get like dust kicked down on him. Oh, right.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's kind of awesome because you have that one SWAT guy and he's just like, they're in the walls. And, you know, he goes to shoot it and they all start, like, dropping down. I love the Larry Fishburn, like,

er, and he like throws himself through the wall and tackle. It is interesting to watch. I mean, like, the, obviously, like, I do think the Wachowski's were really conscious of hiring black actors for a real reason. And, like, this scene between Morpheus and Agent Smith has so much, like, subtext dripping with it, including the ending when all the dudes come in with nightsticks and beat him down. You know what I mean? Right. Take him. And then it just becomes that beating session.

Well, it's rad, right? Because remember what Larry Fishburn, Morpheus? you know, says to him, he goes, to Agent Smith, he goes, you all look the same. Exactly. I'm like, fuck yeah, dude. My New York audience really enjoyed that. And I remember that.

Yeah. But they are fighting in the bathroom from Saw, by the way. Yes, that's true. Cipher comes out of the Matrix. And he shoots tank with this laser. Straight up kills poor Dozer immediately. Yeah. That dude gets iced.

And then this is when he starts unplugging people. Dude, but we're first, we're getting it up in Trinity's face. Oh, yeah. He's like smelling it. Oh, creep city, dude. You're a beautiful woman, Trinity. I was in love with you forever or whatever.

And he's just tired of hearing all this stuff from that jagoff. I love that he says, more of his is a jagoff. You know, I've been looking at your Instagram forever, Trinity. now I'm touching you. Remember the Facebook pokes? Apoc we hardly knew this dude gets unplugged

with not even a fucking final line. At least Switch gets the classic not like this. Donzo switch. Sorry about that. And then, yeah, Steve, I think this is your favorite line of the movie. Which is what?

Oh. Tank has a lot. Tank has lived a little bit longer. Like it a no. No, I don't, because like, there's this great thing about like, if he was the one, something would strike me down and dead and blah, blah, blah.

I would not be able to unplug him, which I'm about to do, right? And he's like, I don't believe it. Believe it or not, you son of a bitch, you're still gonna burn. So, my audience went fucking ape shit nuts at that moment. I swear to God. Oh, man.

God, I wish I had seen this with an audience. I don't remember all the audience reactions, but it was a packed house and everyone loved it. I remember seeing it in the morning and it wasn't packed. It was only like maybe like three families in my, when I went to see it. Families. Well, yeah, it was like they took up the whole row. Well, I mean, maybe they weren't together, but it seemed like they were. Well, Mother, that was a pretty horny movie for 11 in the morning.

Don't know if I like that one, Mother. Let's go home and fuck. I mean, go to church. I think you would ever be into a Trinity Cup? No, I think I could get down with that. But yeah, somewhere around here, too, is where Smith is talking to Morpheus about, like, the first version of The Matrix didn't go so well, you know, because it was a utopian kind of thing and people didn't buy it, you know, so like they realized after some trial and error that the way to make the Matrix work was to have things like human suffering and violence and all that stuff because it made it more believable. What our problem was is our first moderator that we put in charge of the Matrix. was, well, his

username was small beans and he just wanted to be called that all the time. That's all he would be called is small beans. So nobody respected him. You'd have to call up small beans to get anything done, Mr. Anderson. Have a plumbing problem. You have to talk to a man

named small beans. You think you can win small beans, but what you don't know is I've already won. Yes. This like, this interrogation scene between Smith and Morpheus is great because we get the, I've been studying your species

and it turns out you're not actually mammals because mammals tend to find an equilibrium with the environment, but you humans, you spread, multiply, consume, and then move on to the next area. The other thing is that has this pattern in,

on the earth is a virus. This, this post, has a million upboats on Reddit. But it's fucking... We're not mammals, you know. We're a virus. It's such a good like a fucking computer

like philosophizing. It's wonderful. He's 100%. He's 100% correct. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. I agree with him completely. And you're right, Steve. Hugo weaving is fucking great. Just to be the common book guy. There's a... I was looking this up today because I knew that Grant Morrison had a case. That speech is almost word

word in the Invisibles, but it's cities and not humans. It's like cities are, it's a city disease. Anyways, who cares? But just, was he on vacation when the fucking movie came out or why? I think he was just kind of cool with it. You know what I mean? He was just like, I would like them to acknowledge it, but they never will.

So whatever. Got my fancy car, got my gold house. What else can I want? Exactly. Grant Morrison. We also get the like the whole like, I hate this place. It's a zoo. It's the smell. If that is even such a thing.

And he grabs the sweat off of it, pushes it. It's just so, I mean, Hugo weaving is just tremendous. I could taste your stink. I feel infected by it. One thing I've never really understood is why is professional wrestling still fake? Do you know what I mean? Like, if they're, why would someone in a simulation pretend to be wrestling even if pain didn't actually exist?

But although the pain. still does exist, of course, Mr. Anderson. Oh, my God, what the fuck. You know where the real wrestling is, don't you? It's on ESPN4. That's right, Morpheus. Not only am I trying to hack your brain, but at this very moment,

I'm providing cable television access all over the Matrix. And what do you think of that, Agent McMahon? You're fired. Morpheus. You can't. Oh, man. But yeah, so they are,

Smith is actually trying to basically hack Morpheus's brain to get these codes to, you know, enter Zion or whatever. And this is, here we go. Neo's like,

let's fucking do it. I'm going to go save Morpheus. Let's go back in. I like Tank's idea just killing him. Oh, yes. Sure, yeah. That's the only way to be sure. Unplug.

That's right. And he's like, and then I'll be captain of their ship. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Captain Tank, I like the side of the... We should probably kill him. Yeah, I see him.

No reason. Trinity is ahead of him. Oh, that's right. There's a good moment where she's like, well, you know, as the senior officer, I am going with you to help. Yeah. As you know, I'm a senior officer

because my sweater is looser than yours. That's how you can tell. That's the ranking system. Yeah, the tighter the sweater, the lower on the ladder you are. that's a roomy sweater. It's a roomy sweater haircut, then. This is, of course, the famous, you know, lobby scene. Just exquisite top to bottom.

Good use of slow motion. After being fucking a slow motion poisoned by fucking Zach Snyder, all of a sudden, I can like it again. The Wachowski's use it so well in this. And even in the other two movies, too, they just, they know how to use it. Well, because that's the thing. It's like Snyder was obviously, he's don't worry Chris he's seen this movie so I mean that's where that comes from but they were coming from a position of I don't know it's it and obviously again like anime slow motion all that

stuff like ninja scroll the action is slow motion all that stuff like they've seen those movies but at the same time like it just this scene is so well choreiated yeah but if it is if it is influenced by ninja scroll I'm gonna have to knock this movie down they have a similar lobby fight and I think it's the third movie where the dudes go upside down and they're standing on the ceiling

yes and our characters are like on the ground still and they do a lot of cool stuff so another great thing like this lobby fight man like the the Trinity like kick this like this kick shotgun flip around move she does

yeah it's fucking great I do I love the idea it's like okay so anyone can potentially be an agent and the only way to make sure that they're not going to be an agent is to murder them and they're just little people in Goopsack

so how to give a fuck let me just light these people up yeah you know because I think here's the thing right like you murder just or some random old matrix person like at the end of the day you're taking food away from the robots

absolutely you know so it's still you know gives him like a license to kill in one of those loading constructs when he's shown it like all the people commuting and the lady in the red dress

he says like these people will like fight to the death to defend the system right yeah they will turn on you at any second that's how this program

works so you gotta kill them dude it's pretty shocking this movie didn't inspire more mass shootings because like well it's spire Columbine does that help that was a month

they were definitely you know they were in the do you think they already had those dusters yeah the dusters the fashion was part of it but I mean

it's a perfect psychopath ideology though, right? It's like everyone is fake but me and the only way I can show them that is to shoot them in the fucking head. That was, I mean, that was you know, cut to this year, the Rodney Asher documentary Glitch in the Matrix

comes out. The harrowing sequence in that movie where it's fucking Matrix kid who talks about how he was like fucking convinced that he was in the Matrix. He watched the movie a bunch of times. He was obsessed with the soundtrack. Yeah, dude, I'm in Star Wars right now. Yeah. And he murdered his fucking family with a shock. He murdered his parents with

the shotgun. To free them from the pods? No, because it didn't matter because they were indeed Matrix people. It doesn't matter without the Matrix either.

I hate to break it to everyone. It's kind of funny. Life is meaning. Here's the thing. That dude and all the fucking psychopaths like him out there and all the maniacs that believe in simulation theory.

Yeah, I don't like them. Here's the thing. If you're using the Matrix as you're like the crux of your thesis for all of this, why would this simulation that you believe

we're living in create basically an explainer to show you how to bring down the system that you're living and why would that make hundreds of thousands hundreds of millions of dollars as well yeah exactly if there was any justice in this

actual simulation Steve the matrix would have failed at the box office and there wouldn't be three sequels and here's your problem here is you're trying to be logical oh sure that's a big mistake see the problem is this kid should have been watching fight club and shot himself in the head

would have saved his parents Yeah But also here So we are We're arming this huge bomb To rescue Morpheus and everything This is we got The bullet dodge

Happens on the roof of this building Now this bullet time thing Now that influence so fucking We're still doing it I feel like we're still doing it Huge huge Video games I think like that video game Max Payne

Max Payne Which is a movie now as well A movie 10 years ago six I think it was then we should do that eventually because Mark Wahlberg wasn't the conceit in the game I never played the game

but wasn't the conceit that you just you had to get high and that's what made you do slow-mo I think there was something about that like you were tracking down like this drug Valky that was being spread around the town oh this was in the Max Payne game

yeah yeah yeah oh I just always thought he was like an assassin of some kind he's like a detective and he's like his family or baby got killed yeah here's a crying baby there's kind of a weird

half dream, half reality. I don't really remember much else about the game at all. And I saw the movie once, but I don't remember it. Yo, bro, the socks lost and I see everything with full motion now. Oh, fuck, bro. Better kill my parents. Thanks,

Rage Against the Machine. I love the, you know, Morpheus running out, Larry Fishburn, running out of this window to jump onto the helicopter. He gets shot the leg at the last second and stumbles and falls out the window, Keanu has the great, he's not going to make it.

And this, like, the jump grabbing of both of them. I mean, this whole thing, which inevitably leads to like the helicopter kind of crashing and Trinity's going to fall and he's holding the fucking, you know, fire hose and like this whole thing. And then when the helicopter hits the building and it's like a wave. Yes. I'm like, oh, the Matrix has to catch up and make this tactile and make a glass. Yeah. Exactly.

When you have too much information at once, you ever do that in a video game? It's just like everything kind of gets a little glitchy. Mr. Anderson, give me two seconds while I load. Buffering. Oh, you can't just get to, you didn't open that part of the map yet, Mr. Anderson. Shit, shit, shit. Mr. Anderson, do you need me to repeat that?

Yes or no? He must truly be the one if he has that hang glider and can go to the other little land mass here and breath of the while. Press A to talk to me, Mr. Anderson. Mr. Anderson, I find it unbelievable that your sword hasn't broken yet.

It's honestly why I stopped playing that game. Same, yeah. No, I've not gone back at all. I kind of don't give a shit. It's the best. They rush Morpheus to the next available exit, which is a phone booth in a subway station. This is the first time you actually see what it looks like when someone comes out of the Matrix

which I think is very cool because Larry Fishburn turns into the secret world of Alex Mac and it's fucking totally awesome and they're trying to get Trinity and Neo out and uh-oh, Smith possesses this like homeless dude who's sleeping

in the subway and you get this is you get the big Mr. Anderson but Trinity is like Neo I just wanted to tell you something and I'd be like you know what? Why don't you tell me back on the ship of the Nebuchadnezzar when we're both you know what? Like we've all

had a big crazy day here. I can't believe that actually worked. Remember that helicopter thing? That was wild. Let's talk about that all on the ship. Absolutely. Yeah. Hang up the fucking phone. Pick it up again and get the hell out of here. Just go already lady move it. Have we even talked

about Cypher being a sneak trying to kill us? No, we haven't. We never fucking unpacked that really. That's true. Well, when Trinney gets to the ship, but she like checks in with tank and like, oh, you're hurt and like a dozer. And it's like, yeah, oh, probably shouldn't have asked. Don't go asking about dozed his own grave. Now, what was the deal here, Cabin?

You were saying that there was a reason why the dude who played tank didn't come back? Because it is sort of left as like, you know, like it or not, you piece of shit, you're going to burn. Because the sequel, we get Link instead. I hear it was a Terrence Howard situation where he asked for. like three mill for the second movie and Tank was going to be a major character like we are not fucking paying you

three million dollars get the fuck out of here we will pay maybe I guess maybe 500,000 what's a Parano Harold Parano yeah yeah because if you're in the biggest movie

in the world you start strutting your stuff a little bit that's true I mean you know it's fair to him to try for it but it sucks that he got excise because I thought he was a nice presence. He's very charming. He's totally great. I mean, I love Harold Perino also, but

like, you know, the dude of Plantec is great. There was a similar thing, actually, with that character, Seraf from the other two movies, where Seraf was written for Jet Lee. And Jet Lee was like, sounds cool. Pay me exactly what you're paying Keanu Reeves. And they were like, nah. No. Kianu's the star of the movie. And you'd be playing a supporting character much lower on the ladder. No. Yeah. And then this other dude came in. The guy they play seraph is fantastic. He fucking totally rocks ass, though. So it worked out, okay. The Neo Smith

Subway fight, we don't have to get into too much of it, except I really love, it's a great fight. But Neo gets in the Johnny Cage shadow punching. Yes. Yes. God damn, it looks cool. He's working the ribs. The whole thing where throws them on top of the fucking up to

the ceiling, and then they go down, the train is happening. There's just... That is the sound of inevitability, Mr. Anderson. The sound of your own death. God damn. So good. He's just so good in this movie. Hugo weaving is amazing. Mr. Anderson, I

finally reached a boner by pushing you down on the ground. I had no idea that you humans did this. This is exciting, Mr. Anderson. He became unstoppable like, because like, it's also just a benefit of all these productions filming

in Australia or New Zealand because then he got Lord of the Rings after this. Oh, yeah. What a run. And it's like this is, great example of like someone popping when they're already kind of older. Oh yeah. Oh, big time. Isn't that really interesting looking face? And he's using it. I mean, like, it would be,

it's so easy to do that I'm a robot. I'm doing an absolutely disaffected thing. But everything he does drips with disdain in this really interesting way. Yes. It makes me want to go back and check out Reckless Kelly again, the Yahoo series film where he plays like an evil business guy.

Very similar manner. and he's always dripping. It's great. You know. The movie's not great, but he is great. You know. I mean, the movie might be good. I need to go back.

It's not good. I promise you. What? I haven't even seen it. I fucking promise you. Here's the thing. I love, like, here's, you know, you know how, like, iconic of a performance it is. By the time you get to that third movie, where's that dude is playing a guy who's been, like, hacked outside

the Matrix by agents. Smith. And the way that they telegraph that is this dude, I have to say, it's silly, but the actor has a really solid impersonation of the Agent Smith inflection and everything like that. And it's like, you're modeling it that way because like what, you know, he did was so fucking iconic. And it makes the whole character that the only way, the only thing you have to do to telegraph that to the audience that this guy is possessed by Smith is just have him mimic the delivery of the lines. They do a beautiful thing

in the beginning. His Australian boss in the Matrix also talks exactly like Agent Smith. Oh, yes. Oh, does he? Yeah, he has a very specific... He says Mr. Anderson. Yeah. Ah, he said his name. He said the thing. Yay!

Smith kills him. And there's also, by the way, Sentinel's coming. And the only way to kill a Sentinel is with his EMP. But if they do that, Neil will be stuck in the Matrix for sure. The chase from the train sequence

because he jumped Oh, that's right. Mr. Wizard, get me out of here. The chase is fucking amazing. Just to touch on it briefly. Like when you have, he runs through some,

he's doing like Ferris Bueller running through people's kitchens and shit. And then it's like the old lady turns into Agent Smith and throws the knife at him. And it's just ratat-tat-tat. I love that scene. Mr. Anderson, you were late from work

for nine times. Oh, I wanted a car. My dad got me a computer. Now I'm a hacker named Neo. Oh, so that's what it's like in that family. Mr. Anderson is a righteous dude. You have Trinity out in front of that school. Another thing, you know what?

You get out there too. I want to have a word with you. You are supposed to pick her up with Agent Smith. Mr. Anderson, you are not the sausage king of Chicago. My database confirms that Abe Froman is long dead, Mr. Anderson. We already mentioned, by the way, that he's still plugged in, and the only way to stop these sentinels is with an EMP. Yes, yeah.

If you blow the EMP, it shuts down everything. And if Neo is still jacked into the matrix when the power goes out, he will get killed. Once he gets shot like 10 times in the chest by Agent Smith, while running for this, this phone. I'd be like, all right, let's, let's do that EMP. Let's save the living room if we could. Is that some sentinels I hear upstairs?

Let's do it. The sentinels are in the bathroom washing up before they're about to murder them, basically. Absolutely. But this is Karen Moss's big scene, and she fucking kills it, you know, this whole, like, I didn't tell you what the Oracle told me, which is like, you know,

that I would fall in love with the man who is the one. so if you're the one you can't be dead and you better wake up. Wake up right now and my wife at a really good point last night. She does sort of dumb him back to life. She does kind of like, wake up, you maggot. Wake up.

You lowly piece of shit. You're still alive. It's almost like a sleeping beauty thing. Yes. It gets a little kiss and he wakes up. I'm going to put this cigarette out on. I'm awake, fish, Chris. Oh my God.

Morpheus, the only way to wake him up. let's do it and Trinity starts fucking stepping on his nuts inside the Nebuchadnezzar she takes a pair of her nylons

and just rips it near his ear the only way to crack him out of this coma is to do a little ASMR but yeah

this agent you know they're in this of course just gross apartment building hallway and this agent's like yep definitely dead

agent Smith he is definitely 100% dead and then, yeah. Oh, he's alive. That's my mistake there. It's back up. The bullets fly and he stops them. Pretty fucking sweet. He just goes,

no. And he sees in code, which is something. It fucking rocks. Stop in the name of love. There is, I feel like, and you would be totally right to have beef with the schmaltziness of it all. But I think it works. I kind of really love the shot of like,

she kisses him sparks literally fly out of like consoles on the nebuchadnezzar it's cool it's cool it's totally with it it's one of those things where it works in this movie and then and latter in those latter two movies i'm not so into it and i just yeah i feel like this movie just really hits all of these notes pitch perfectly and it's such a curveball that it has to work and the other ones just kind of are feel lazier because this movie's like a lean mean like we're doing the hero's journey we're hitting all these beats. And then the second and third movie is like we're doing weird expanding world building,

which could work, but it kind of almost doesn't, it doesn't feel like the magic you had here. Well, what I think to what Chasquez are are maximalists. They've gone from being pretty like both Matrix and Bound are pretty like curtailed movies. They're pretty restrained.

I mean, this costs, what, $60 million to make? Which is amazing. Absolutely. $60 million? $60, $63 million, something like that. it. But as they've gone on, and is it Lana who's directing?

Lana is the director of, and Lily seems to be not involved in at all, not even like, only getting kind of like creator credit, which is kind of interesting. I mean, Chris, this is a great point. $63 million for this movie. And then the Matrix Reloaded 150 million, Matrix Revolution, 150 million.

Yeah. Yeah, we built Zion. We actually built it in a in a gymnasium outside of out of Port Haran Portland. But a lot of this is just like computer rendering bad graphic garb. I feel like that's where a lot of this big budgets fall.

Although the highway sequence obviously cost a ton of money and reloaded and it's the redeeming quality of that film. I mean I think but that's like what's you lose the intimacy of this movie. Yes. Yes. I mean what I think of the Wachowski is what I think

you can think of them as is like my chemical romance similar like way too way way way out there on the emo level but like that's what's interesting about them is that they take everything so seriously and so emotionally big and they try to put it up there so he you know he gets back up

he does the great hand-to-hand combat with Smith the whole like one arm he's not looking at him and he's still blocking everything he does a we were talking about this last week with Spider-Man He does kick Agent Smith all the way down that fucking hallway. Two weeks ago at Spider-Man. Oh, two weeks.

Yeah, that's right. Home Alone was last week. I mean, time-fly. Yeah. And then yet, I mean, rad is hell. He fucking jumps inside Agent Smith. Yeah. And blows him up from the inside, which just totally kicks ass.

I love seeing the villain being taken down. Yeah. It'd be cool to see that in the second movie. I mean, that's the thing. Instead of getting a insert disc two screen at the end of it. And I mean, the thing of it is, like, just give me a fucking, give me a movie that works on its own and then do another sequel on top of that.

The thing of it is, I mean, we'll talk about the last scene in a second, but like, what a great end to Agent Smith. This is. You know what I mean? It's just like... It would have been, yeah. Exactly. But at the same time, I understand what they're playing with, like, oh, he's going to become a virus which he hated.

And he's going to start to take over the Matrix, which is an interesting enough concept, but I feel like it's underutilized in this. If you wanted to do that with those other two movies, though, have to end this differently because, like, I'm sorry, you saw him explode. And, like, when you see him come back in the second movie,

it's, he's really like, Mr. Anderson, yes, it's totally weird that I'm here, but somehow, thanks to you, he, like, says, like, you know, thanks to you, like, you free me. Printed on him or whatever. Yeah, and it's just like, okay.

I found the original backup floppy disk on my programming. I got a five and a half floppy, and I shoved it up my ass and rebooted myself. I told you, Mr. Anderson, it was important to save your files. I hit a save point before our last fight and I can redo it as many times as I fucking want. That's the thing. Use video game shit here. Like, say that he responds somehow.

Like, he just kind of shows up in that second movie and it's very weird. It would be good just to get rid of him completely. Yeah. I mean, as amazing as he is as a villain, why are we just doing the same thing over and over again? Yeah. I feel like, and that's a response to like, That first movie comes out. Everybody's like, fuck yeah, man, Hugo Weaving,

total knocked out of the park in this movie. And it's like, geez, better try to keep that magic going for two more movies. Yeah, but so he explodes. We hit the A&P. Everything goes. And this movie kind of ends abruptly. There's not, we don't have Dozer's funeral.

We do not. No. Where the fucking got a fucking wasteland funeral? Not great is all I can say. That, you know what? I would rather see that. then check in on his sister's marriage. Oh, for sure.

We are just wasting time in those sequels. But yeah, Z, you know, she winds up being helpful in the third movie, I guess, but like, I don't know. But no, the other is going to man the rocket launchers, Andrew. That's no, it's true. The answer was Z. We end with this awesome. We started with a phone call. We're going to end with a phone call because this is a complete movie.

And there's no sequence. I mean, yes. Yep. Yes, we're saying the door is open for a sequel quite possibly, but this is a complete film because the door, we are, there's a, there is a synergy to the end of the film where it's him talking, he's talking to the Matrix itself, he knows they're listening. And it's fucking a great monologue by Kenihanu here. I know you're out there. Like that's the way it starts. And that line, you know, I mean, I wrote down so many of them. I came here to tell you how it's going to begin. I'm going to show you. I'm going to. show them a world without you, a world where anything is possible. Where we go from here is a choice, I leave

to you. And the fucking rage has already started, by the way. It's the low part. It's just so good. And then, yes, the come on. The come on is him flying. Absolutely. Yeah, you're totally right, though. Like, over the phone call, you're getting, like, them sweet, like, early Morello Licks

right there, and you know where this is going. Fuck, that is a way to end a movie, man. Unbelievable. Yeah. I almost feel like those sequels. I know everyone listening disagrees with me. Like, harnished the legacy a little bit. I feel like if this was a one and done, you know, the Wachowski's

would be so legendary, I feel more so than they are now. I know they are, but I just feel like those other two sequels, it's like, what are we doing? No, I mean, this was happening right at like when franchising was hitting its peak.

Like, this was all we were going to be doing from now on. Especially with Star Wars on doing their trilogy. And like 10 years later, like you see it turn into all we do. And it's not shocking that we've rebooted it. And I mean, like that reboot looks interesting.

We'll find out. But I feel like Lana might be moving the football again. And here comes Charlie Barron ready to kick it. Here comes the good matrix sequel. I agree with that. I agree with that. I think we're going to see a lot of these tropes we've already explored explored again for no reason.

But I hope I'm wrong. The one thing I will say about the, at least the setup for the one. trailer that I've seen for the movie it seems like we're talking about the Matrix a lot it seems what we're doing is trying to do another reality Ben which is a good idea

because that's what this movie does right I agree there's a baseline of like this is what you know and it's like oh this is what I know about the Matrix is that Neo has saved everybody from the first movie and all this stuff blah oh wait what's you doing back in the Matrix what is this Matrix what are these pills he's taking etc etc at least there's an era an era an air of mystery there

that I'm at least in at least from a trailer standpoint I'm like I am now intrigued to see your movie as opposed to like Zion fucking mud shit don't see that third trailer because I'll tell you. I'm sure that. No, I mean I don't want to know but it's like you know the third movie ends

with the Matrix rebooting itself and like it stands to reason that like on a reboot like that you would have a Thomas Anderson reboot and a fucking whoever Trinity was before she was unlocked reboot and you know whatever so who the fuck knows. But for the meantime, that doesn't come out until next week. We don't know anything yet here as we record this episode. But that is going to wrap it up. Final thoughts, Steve Saneck, we'll start with you. This movie's a fucking banger. It is lean, mean, and amazing. It's two hours and 16 minutes. You get this whole incredible story. It is something that could be taught. It's an amazing thing that it could be taught in philosophy class, gender studies class, in fucking film class. Or if you want to get stoned with your buddies, and go, yeah!

Like, you can do all of those with this one incredible movie, and that's a very rare thing to be able to do. Absolutely. Chris Cabin. Underline and Tripocut, everything Steve said. Yeah, this is one of those movies that every time I come back to it, it actually gets better. I don't know if that's true of a lot of science fiction or action movies for me, really. Yeah.

But I came back. This used to be like a solid four, now it's a five. will always be a five from now on. I just love it. There it is. I agree with that. It is a five now on this re-appraisal. Honestly, it's one of the best movies of the 90s. Maybe even ever made. The technical achievements are here.

I fucking love it. I know some people are definitely, it's okay to like a movie. Totally fine to enjoy those sequels, by the way. That was just my two cents. Yeah. But I think this movie is almost unparalleled. the skeptics, Eric. It's okay. Thank you. Yeah, no, I mean, I think this

is excellent. And those other two movies to varying degrees leave me cold and that is what it is. I think there's redeeming qualities in both them. There's a lot of redeeming qualities in both of them, but I just don't think they come together in the way Steve, like you were pointing out, like, that this first one that we've been talking about for

nigh on three hours almost is, you know, it is a complete thing. And even like when you're talking about fucking trilogies, like back to the future or the first Star Wars trilogy or whatever, like, each of those movies has an ending like there is an ending in the back to the future too and then a continuation thing to set up the third one

same thing with Empire yada yada yada yada it doesn't feel like that with those other two movies so whatever this is great I will say also I am going to champion this movie because I feel like the non-matrix Wachowski movies get a lot of hate

there are a few of them I do not care for there are a few of them I have not seen but fucking speed racer check that out it is so much fun that's a movie that should have had three of them. You could have just had a bunch of wacky speed racer racer adventures and it would have been rad. But give that a whirl

because again, that is another like visual holy fuck. What am I looking at right now? It's just exquisite, exquisite stuff. But that is going to do it ladies and gentlemen for our episode On The Matrix from 1999, directed by Lana and Lily Wachowski. And that is going to do it for, holy

crap, we love movies month. Another December is already done. Another year is done in the books. That's right. So as we go into COVID year three, Steve, that means that January we would be kicking off the best of the worst of 2021. And what are we going to be talking about then? I think we're going back to the Matrix kind of sort of. That's right. I still have not seen this movie, but it is a reality bending video game. It's a free guy. you will see Ryan Reynolds do what Agent Smith did way worse and by the way Agent Smith way funnier but yeah we'll be talking about free guy which is sort of it's influenced by this but also it's definitely that

ready player one residue so get ready for that to be fair Eric I think Ray finds in Schindler's list is funnier than in Ryan most things wow wow From the top of the balcony, Chris Cabin. And of course, we've been doing a bunch of we love movies stuff all throughout this month. So be sure to check out patreon.com slash we hate movies.

We got a long banger episode of the Nexus where we're talking about Star Trek Generations, which is totally great. We have the American moviementary coming out, which was a lot of fun. The big man himself, Obi-Wan Kenobi on the Glit glossary. That's right with the animation damnation. We're talking about Toy Story. I think that episode's 80 minutes. There's tons of content, tons of hours. We want more hours with us.

Patreon.com slash weird movies. And we love movies on a full-on episode on fucking alien. Right. Rotten Rids, Alien, from 1979. But that's going to do it for this week. And until next week, when we go back into Stupid Matrix, I'm Andrew Jupin, Stephen Sadek. Eric Siska.

Mr. Cabin. Take it easy. That was a hate gum podcast.