We Hate Movies - S12 Ep586: Free Guy

Episode Date: January 4, 2022

This week, the gang kicks off 2022 and The Worst of the Previous Year Month with a chat about the totally lackluster vidya game blockbuster, Free Guy! Why should we care about any of this when the movie itself tells us nothing matters? Why do so many people think a Doctor Doak-looking Ryan Reynolds is hot? And what in the world were they thinking with this Taika performance? PLUS: The guys go off on a lengthy Where's Waldo? jag!  Free Guy stars Ryan Reynolds, Jodie Comer, Joe Keery, Lil Rel Howery, Utkarsh Ambudkar, Taika Waititi, and Channing Tatum; directed by Shawn Levy. Catch WHM's VIRTUAL live show on Mortal Kombat (2021)! Check out the WHM Merch Store - Just in time for the holidaze! Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Valid through 9-1, while supplies last, program subject to terms and conditions. Details of Lowe's.com slash terms, subject to change. this week on the program. It's like a super watered down ready player one. It's free guy. I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Sadek. Free Eric. Blackshirt guy. And we hate movies. Hello everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in. Happy New Year, such as it is. And of course, here on We Hate Movies, every January, it is some of the worst of the previous year. and we're kicking things off with Free Guy, directed by Sean Levy. What does this dude direct?

What I'm seeing here on the IMDB is he's got Free Guy, Night at the Museum, Secret of the Tomb, this is where I leave you, the internship, real steel, date night, all the night in the museum movies, Pink Panther, cheaper by the dozen, just married. Also, by the way, Chris, black shirt guy sounds like he is an alt-right superstar, right?

Yeah, totally, dude. It's like, where is this going? Thank you for your service, black shirt guy. Black shirt guy outside of his Starbucks through a coffee at some liberals head. Thank you for your service, black shirt guy. Yeah. Oh, this is where I leave you trash. Internship. Yeah, date night trash.

Man, fucking top to bottom trash with this guy. That's Steve Martin Pink Panther. Woof. He's got eight directing credits on episodes of a stranger things under his belt. But, yeah. I don't know why I don't know why I thought this was Ryan Reynolds reteaming with a deadpool person because didn't that guy didn't the Deadpool guy direct red notice is that what I'm thinking of

let me look that up because I know that's the central intelligence guy what you're doing Andrew is you're mixing up the fact that Ryan Reynolds no longer plays anything that is not remotely Deadpool that's just it's just it doesn't matter if it's actually Deadpool or not he's just doing that. Deadpool has become Ryan Reddels. Yes, all the way through. Like, it's just not like,

his Mint Mobile commercials. It's like, oh, it's like Deadpool's Selby's fucking cell phones. Awesome. That's right. Also, by the way, yeah, it was Tim Miller, the dude who did the first Deadpool.

He didn't do the second one, but he also did our previous virtual live show Terminator Dark Fate. Wow. This is a podcast. You're just joining us for the first time where we try to remember things. We kind of get a wall.

Yeah, just like way off base. Yeah. I just, because it's one of those things where it's like, you know, Ryan Reynolds, the dude just pops up in so much shit. And it's really hard to keep track because it's never a movie I care about. It's, but it's always the same thing now, right? I mean, I think, I mean, that Green Lantern movie was terrible, but he was trying to do, like, it's always been sort of this, but now it's only this. And it's just the thing. It's just the thing. And it's so, watching this movie, usually I watch this movie like the night before I did watch this like literally hours. ago so it's not it's really really fresh and like what bugged me about this uh that i'm seeing a lot in a lot of like action blockbusters and comic book movies etc is this just like complete ironic detachment and then it's like well so then why should i care like when if you if you don't give a shit if you're just going to look at the camera and be like but it's a movie folks don't worry so then i'm not going to give a shit like you know what you have when when the score swells in

the third act i remember in the first act when this guy told me nothing mattered so i had nothing matters. Well, yeah, that's, I mean, what you're saying, it shifts so often that you can't, like, the tone shifts so often you can't, you can't, you're not sure what's going on. It ain't, like, at one point you're, I mean, even, it even tries to be like an actual, like, good natured comedy at some time. Like, just the buddy comedy thing with him and Lil Rel rel. Like, it's supposed to be, like, wholesome. And I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about, man? I just listen to Tai Chi Watiti say God knows what. Oh my, my fucking 15 minutes. By the way, I always used to like him as a presence and stuff, but this movie burnt all that goodwill. I need that guy to go away for a little while. I couldn't believe it, dude. I have so much goodwill to that guy. You know, I like some of the movies he's directed. I like him as a performer.

This performance is just, I was so annoyed by it. And it's not like, well, Andrew, he's the villain. No, no, no. This is obnoxious. He says what you talk about, Willis, in a. In the year of our Lord, in the middle of a fucking pandemic, that should be illegal, okay? Yep. In the middle of a pandemic, you should not quote the different strokes.

It's irresponsible. It is absolutely irresponsible. I'm watching it last night, and I will say I envy my wife for a lot of reasons, but one reason is she's very good at like tuning out the TV when it's on. Just this totally predate natural gift of like she can be reading a fucking book and I'll be watching a fucking diehard movie and she won't even pay attention. very envious but last night when he fucking goes what you're talking about Willis she looks up and goes the fuck

like it was that powerful of a stupid moment it just and the thing I was realizing too yeah like just with the whole like brushing it off like not taking it seriously or whatever like the fact that they have to act that way toward all of the like

action and violence and shit that's going on because it's like LOL where I'll just like NPCs and that's a gag, it makes it impossible for you to get invested in anything. And then all of a sudden in the third act they're like, oh, please be invested in the story, please care about these characters. And I was

like, why? You spent an hour and 20 minutes of this two-hour movie telling me that none of that mattered. And for a movie that is ultimately about like the difference between your online life and your exterior, like reality, it blends those two things

all the time. Like perspective wise, it's just Like when she said, when, when, uh, Villanova, forget, uh, Jody Cromer, uh, when she says he's handsome. She's clearly talking about Ryan Reynolds in the game, like when we see actual Ryan Reynolds. But the only Ryan Reynolds she's actually seen is the pixelated like blank face double, like a golden eye version of him. Yes, the Dr. Doke Ryan Reynolds. Yeah. The docified Reynolds. So as soon as I hear her say, oh, he's so handsome like she is out of her fucking mind oh absolutely well this whole movie is sort of about how like everyone is brainwashed into watching twitch streams and whatever and i know it's wonderful kids

i know it's a good time but but you're the doctor doke thing is just so wild to me like and then oh god i hated this movie i think maybe what i want to say it's okay to like a movie it's okay to like this movie this movie is 80% on rotten tomatoes this movie is uh people love this movie so I want to say it's okay to like it but I do not I was kind of stunned so this was uh I mean I guess the the dime store synopsis of this movie is somebody had the Truman show on while they were playing uh Grant Theft Auto and they're like hey good idea uh Ryan Reynolds is a is an NPC that becomes self-aware in a uh Fortnite slash Grant Deft Auto's

type world Jody Cromer has something to do and then they figure it out And then we do like, for those not in the know, NPCs video game speak for a non-playable character. Right. So meaning that like he can die and respond and it'll be fine is not like a person of consequence or whatever, he's not a player. So that gives us an avenue to do Groundhog Day in the middle of this as well. Yep.

Also, yes. To make it two hours. It has to be two hours. I, you know what, dude. A buck 55. I was pretty happy with it. I'll be honest. It's sad.

I have five minutes means that much to you. It really does, Chris. At this point, it really does. Yeah, that's true. I mean, because it's annoying, right? Because you're like, well, at least it's under two hours. But then, like, you're watching it. I mean, there was a part I paused the movie and, like,

excluding the fact that there's probably, I don't know, like a healthy, robust seven to eight minutes worth of credits in this movie. I still had, like, 35 minutes last. And I could not believe my eyes looking at the time code. But you're right, because to Chris's point, it just keeps moving, it keeps changing the game and not in a organic way and not in a conducive way to a narrative. So it's just like, so who do I care about? Like, is it Joe Kiri?

Is it not Joe Kiery? Is it, you know what I mean? Is it Joe Kromer? Is it Ryan Reynolds? Is he like actually a thing with feelings that I should really care about? No, he's gone for 20 minutes. Okay, cool. There's a moment like 60 minutes in

where you see the crest of a 90 minute movie Like it's at the bubble gum ice cream moment Where they're like tomorrow they're gonna erase the whole thing You're like you have 30 minutes You could sew this all up You could do it You could really fucking do it But of course they're not going to do it

Because they have you by chokehold And they're just gonna keep you there For another fucking ugh That's the Chris Cabin equivalent of like packing this movie's bags For the airport No you can make it No no come on all right Just listen listen

Just skip the breakfast. You don't need breakfast. I got an RX bar here. You just eat it on the train. You'll be fine. You're going to make the flight. You're going to make the flight. I swear to God.

You put the jam in the yogurt and then you stir it up with the tiny spoon they give you there at the bottom. Don't worry about it. Just eat it. Forget the fucking. You don't need a fucking shower. Just wear a hat. We're a hat. Credits are coming.

Just put some deodorant on. Get the car. Do you have your driver's license out? Get it out. It's just, yeah, you're totally right. And, you know, part of that, too, is because they're like, well, we couldn't possibly do a movie like this and not have some sort of romantic whatever

and because it would be supremely weird if you ended this movie and actually maybe it would have worked who knows it would have been weird though and of course remember this is 20th century studios we're talking about a big studio picture here it would be weird if you didn't end this movie with some sort of romantic blah blah blah

and she can't be going in the game and fucking this NPC so you have to have this extended other thing that winds up adding another 10 minutes it's on to the movie where it's like Joe Kiri's character actually really, really loves Jody Comer's character. And that's like a fucking thing at the end. What's crazy about that is then you start to realize, oh, you know, she loves bubblegum ice cream as well. And it's like, oh, so free guys, all of his personality, all this stuff that made him like this self-aware AI was just Joe writing in code of shit she likes. Yeah.

So it's not like he's, you know, necessarily have any free. he doesn't have any free will whatsoever. He just likes what she likes because he was written that way. Yeah. I feel like it takes, it takes like air out of the tire of his character. It absolutely does. It will get to the ending drives me insane when,

uh, they get together because it just makes no sense. It makes, I'll say now, what the fuck? It makes no sense that like all throughout this, the whole point is she's like, no,

I don't, I'm not, like I have no interest in this guy as a romantic person at all. all. It's just there's like three different points where she's like, nope, we don't have a thing. It's not a thing. And then at the end, because she finds out that he was Ryan Reynolds code, it works.

All of a sudden, yeah. Oh, turn it all around. Yeah, no, I want to fuck you now. Yeah, we're together forever. Because he's Ryan Reynolds with a flesh dick, not a computer dick. So that's like a little, that's a bit of a better situation when you think about it in the cold light of day. But I guarantee you this character has woken up to like, wait,

to Joe Kierre liked my Facebook post from six years ago? What happened? You know what I mean? Like, Oh, four o'clock of the... Keys, what were you doing, man?

You liked that post? Oh, no, that was from last Christmas. No, that must have been the algorithm of Facebook, obviously not working correctly. I mean, if I programmed it, it wouldn't have done that. I really got to take those Jamaica pictures down. I really do. I just, you know, I don't...

You know, uh, Malatov, uh, I like this dress you have on here, but not as much as I like the one from, uh, January 2016 I think it was the 27th it was a Thursday I believe Oh remember the dress you wear your graduation party Ooh that was a good one

No I don't You've been 12 years ago So this movie starts with And again it's a Ryan Reynolds movie So it starts with Ryan Reynolds And like he I actually think this movie would be a much I mean they would have to go

a lot of different stuff, but it would be a better movie if you had like Ed Helms as this character or somebody that's a little dopier that like can do this dopey NPC thing. And then when he starts doing you know, action guy stuff, it's like, oh shit, that's Ed Helms

with a fucking bazooka. That's pretty funny. You know what I mean? Yes, exactly. The juxtaposition of a non-action star riding around on motorcycles, firing guns off. You're absolutely right. Like the fact that this is just another stud Ryan Reynolds performance like there's

there's nothing about that that's entertaining I'm sorry I mean honestly and as a dude who was like I could have gone with this we could have done fucking red notice all the same because he's just this fucking asleep at the wheel in that movie too I mean it's actually way worse because

that's like it's just it triples down on sarcastic Ryan Reynolds not giving a fuck about anything in the world kind of persona, at least in this he's forced to have this air of like, everything's peachy for like a lot of the movie and it's

something. The Red Notice is so aggravating because we're not going to talk about it ever again, but it's really aggravated because it's three leads who can only play themselves. Yep. Like it's all three of them cannot do anything else. They are not capable of doing it. They're terrible at it. The rock comes closest and but he gave that up I think probably a decade of and Galgado

it's just terrible. So like what the like it's just absolute dragging the whole time. Real quick on the Ed Helms angle Lil Rel's right there switch buddy and guy I think he would have been

a better lead. I think Lil Rel is fucking great. You know I've seen him in like I don't know maybe like three or four movies at this point. I think he's hilarious and you're totally right. That would have been awesome. You know in all these like crazy situations you know there'd be fucking screaming and you know

It would all just work. Like that's the other thing too, right? Ryan Reynolds is never, like, scared of any of this. He's somehow too cool for school, you know? Yes. While trying to figure out that he's an actual person maybe, it doesn't come together. You're right because of that detachment. And celebrities just playing themselves in movies has been a problem for a while.

And, you know, I guess you could look at stardom in a certain angle that it works in certain cases for sure. But I didn't see Red Notice, but I'm kind of glad I didn't because it sounds like a familiar tail there. Yeah, it's fucking abysmal. And I mean, the thing about Dwayne Johnson, too, that's funny is like, the dude got famous playing the exact opposite of the kind of guy he actually is. Like,

when the rock was a heel in WWF, like, he was masterful at that. Like, the fact that he doesn't get to do that in these movies ever once play anything other than a fucking big bald dude that loves his own tequila, like

it's a fucking it's a fucking waste of everybody's time including his own. You know, it's a waste of everybody's time? Channing Tatum in this movie, you could fucking save it. You could really just save it from me. And again, because we have to be thrilled that we're seeing Channing Tatum

do, I don't even know, like, I guess the joke is like, Channing Tatum's this huge star which you kind of risen. And like, could you believe he's only in this movie for 10 minutes? Like, I haven't seen chatting at anything that big for a while now. It's like, I don't know, you get kind of lucky to be a free guy, not to be a dick. But I think the other gag there, though, is, you know, it's a delayed gag because you meet Channing Tatum earlier in the movie.

You don't see who he's like the video game stand in for until later in the movie where it is this like pigish-looking teenage boy. And that's kind of funny. And it's not really a joke about Channing Tatum being famous. It's a joke about Channing Tatum being hot. And I have to say the other thing is, I will admit to fucking laughing at him in this movie. whatever. I'm a fucking ignoramus. You're fine. Him, you get a little bit of this and this,

towards the end of the movie, you get to see him dance a little bit. And I got to tell you, hot, diggedy damn, that guy still got it on the dance floor. You know, this movie decries intellectual property and sequels being the main form of entertainment. While I believe I read online,

I don't know if this is true or not, because I don't know anything about it, but apparently some of those dances he was doing was Fortnite dances. Oh, is that right? So we're doing a commercial for another video game. That's what that dance was. Yes.

Every time this movie gets hoity-toity about intellectual property and newness, you could just fucking suck on something. Yep. Yep. Yeah. It can be your avatar's dicks. I mean, especially once you later in the movie introduced Captain America's Shield and a lightsaber and all that shit, your argument is gone now.

Yeah. And are you going to also are you going to make free guy too? If you were offered it, I'm sure you would. You're Sean Levy. I just read that they're doing it. Of course, of course they are. Of course they're doing it. So what the fuck? Who cares?

Why? Yeah. So like it's, it's Channing Tatum. You see him like do like a run, like a Grant Deftodo kind of ask run of like blowing shit up and like then Ryan Reynolds goes to work kind of a thing. And it's him. Yeah. And Ryan Reynolds is like voiceovering. He's like, here's like, here's how things work in Free City. And there's a bunch of the.

cool people that get to do stuff wear sunglasses and that's, you see Channing Tatum and it's like that thing where Ryan Reynolds is like walking to work at the bank and Channing Tatum's fucking got five stars, you know, or what are they called this movie? Five badges on Free

City and he's getting chased by helicopters and like the gag, which is fine once, but it's the same joke that makes up the first 45 to 50 minutes of this movie is the

whole like crazy shit is happening and the NPCs don't acknowledge it. Isn't that hilarious? Yes. One or two times it was pretty funny and then it just really got old. But that's like the whole intro to the character. I would say that is 50% of the movie.

It is. Take away all the other stuff like not even like I even like it comes up later. They keep doing it later in the movie when we've already settled all this shit. Right. And like this whole thing. So, yes, he works at this bank with Lil Relo, and the people with the sunglasses are the, like, I've never noticed that as the, is that like the notifying thing in Fortnite? It's not right? Everybody has like different. I couldn't tell you, dude. I still don't even really know what you do in Fortnite. I have not the faintest idea. I think it's like guns that like shoot like building supplies or something. That's part of it. Yes. Yes. You do that and you build things as well. You can build stairs. But it's, it's, it's, I mean, look, I I think the sunglasses is just a fun visual way

to be like, that is how, that's the user interface, I guess. Right, well, because that's, we're taking a little bit of a notice from they live here, right? Yes. When Ryan Reynolds, when Ryan Reynolds goofily stumbles on a pair of these glasses and puts them on, he now can see all the game operation things. And later in the film, he does try to get Lil Rel to put on the sunglasses. He should have beat him half to death next to his.

dude you're right they should have had a fucking 15 minute fight yeah it would have been something well where isn't they live you put on the glasses and you see like the truth of everything at these you see you see all this awesome stuff

you get to have now yeah well exactly it's like they live if consumerism is awesome it's just like sick it's like bye bye absolutely great idea skeleton person it's live they

live they don't you want to take this buddy from this dead man that's a good thing well that's like um buck flower in that movie right he's like the bum but then like he immediately gets into it which is honestly probably how i'd be oh absolutely if the aliens want to come down here now and talk to me let's do it the aliens in that movie yeah let a body snatcher get me uh yes i'll continue eating steak in the matrix you know that's that's the move is surrendering early folks is the you want to be

it's a pyramid scheme not unlike NFTs you want to get in at the early stage so that all these other sims are scrambling around so yeah the first time I see an alien like tell me who you want me to fuck dude and I will be I will be a viceroy in your

galactic empire I will murder my family for viceroy ship dude oh man that'd be so cool there's a thing that's a plus for the early parts of this movie and it's kind of a it's one of the only reasons I was hip to the

Groundhog dayness of it all is because you get fucking Mariah Carey's fantasy repeated and I have to say total banger of a song. It's a butt bopper dude I was butt bop it on my couch. You cannot help but do that man. Especially when you fucking get the Tom Tom club

sample in there absolutely you bet your ass I'm dancing to that song. I believe the trivia said that Ryan Reynolds asked her personally if they could use it. Are you still paying for it? Yeah, yeah, we'll pay for it. Okay, cool. Yeah, yeah, you can do it. Yeah, go ahead. Fine, get out of my house.

Are you going to do a shitty slow version out of the end? Yeah, we're going to do a silly version. I'm sorry, we're going to do it. Yeah, absolutely. Slow version. Piece of shit. Yep. Uh, yeah. Yeah. Little rel is buddy. Yeah, the security guard at the bank and yeah we get this bank robbery scene where it's like a bunch of players run in to rob the bank and you know lil rel drops his gun to the ground and this is i fucking really did not care for this idea of like every time this is happening it's such commonplace to them they're having like chipper conversations during it like yeah what do you you know NPCs you have one job to react to the fucking scenario that's in front of you like you should be scared that's my

question, and maybe I didn't watch the movie properly, and I have three very smart people that can help me with this. Are they all self-aware from the jump, or does Ryan Reynolds actually break the code? Because, like, if they're NPCs, they wouldn't have side

conversations. They wouldn't have... Or is this like a toy story thing, kind of sort of, like, when you're not looking to the NPCs, they're going out for coffee together, I guess. It's a toy story thing, dude. I think it is, because, like, way later in the movie

when fuck it whatever the server gets reset and Ryan Reynolds like loses his memory and whatever like and Jody Comer comes up to him after that reboot and tries to talk to him

she has a conversation with him but it's just a conversation where it's like he just doesn't recognize her so yeah I think it's a thing where it's like when the player isn't looking they're having these kind of like independent lives

not that they break from their not that they break from their routines or whatever that they have to do but like clearly there's off time here like we see at one point of course Ryan Reynolds apartment we see Lil Relz got an apartment that he lives in so they're not like

getting locked in a fucking Borg charging chamber or something all this is to like make it relatable for the audience like a day to day you know like the everydayness of it like oh I wake up with a goldfish too I guess you know it's it's sort of like me and my friend at work

but if crazy things were happening because we're in a video game. But it would be more effective if like what Steve was suggesting is true. Like if it was like nobody talks to one another. Like there is no like friendship. And then all of a sudden when you become self-wear, you become able to make friends,

which is like breaking out of your your shell and everything like that. But like the fact that they do this is just literally because they want to have like chipper bullshit jokes between Lil Relrell and Ryan Reynolds going on the whole time. they should just reboot every single day and not have any like oh yeah sick narrative string of getting beers on the beach with buddy you know no it's just like i you know uh it's it's your classic npc of just like i don't know

can't wait for the fucking festival in three days can't wait for the festival yeah yeah it's every you know it should end like the prestige where every day the npc is like murdered and rebirthed this is all these tanks of prestige Ryan Reynolds at the bottom I like that I mean but they do try to have it both ways though because there's like

a couple of these NPCs that he passes on the street throughout the entire movie and they say the same thing all the time like the guy who's asking for like reports to be on his desk and the girl who's like wow the big city or whatever so they work it both ways which means like they're just doing whatever was convenient

to the script which is indeed bad writing and Jody Cromer shows up and she's like trying to get something from somebody this entire movie and I'll be honest I was like what is her I know what I know what her deal was but I didn't really like kind of get whatever

this macuffin of whatever like you know the video right so as someone who watched this movie twice now I can maybe help you out there so she did she like wrote a code for a video game I guess with Joe Kiri and they it was stolen question mark by Antoine who then wrote it into the game. The way

the way yeah the way that Joe Keri tells it anyway is that he bought them. He bought it out and then shell he said that he shelved it.

But the idea is he secretly stole it and used it to build Free City. So she's going into the game and like harassing other players one of which which is right here this guy in the mask is actually Hugh Jackman, FYI.

Really? Yeah, that's what I have to be Trivias to be believed it's Hugh Jackman, the one like she's like, you know, don't ask me any questions guy. And I knew it had to be

somebody stupid. Well, that's just like everybody says that everybody says that like Daniel Craig was in the last Jedi. I mean,

I still kind of refuse to believe. Like, what do I care? Like, what do I care? What I like about Hugh Jackman is his face.

Yeah. Like, and his ability to be, like him just being in a costume, okay, cool. I like his muscles. I like those muskles on them. Exactly. Those two, yeah. Well, dude, you know what, though, Chris Cabin, you can't fucking have him in this movie because if and, you know, when free guy too happens, there's your fucking

Wolverine cameo. Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we don't do faces. He is an IMDB as masked player in Alley. So he's credited. He's there. That's awesome. Oh, that's not. What a great use of Hugh Jackman's time. Yeah, well, he was on a telephone, right? Like, that's not his body. Oh, no, yeah. I'm sorry. I was just sort of like, oh, no, blah, blah, blah.

Who's Jody Cromer? Oh, yeah, killing him. Great. Steve, I'm stopping a bunch of tweets. You're putting an extra R in this woman's name. Oh, is it just Comer? It's a comer. I've been saying, Cromer this whole time.

Well, at least you weren't calling her Crandle. Yeah, so Jody Cramer, great actress. I've just been calling her... Last duel. Which I have not seen yet criminally. But I just been calling her Ray's mother. That's how I know her. Ray's mom's got it going on.

Yeah, I was into that first season of killing Eve, and then I just said no thanks. I even like that second season, but yeah, it's... I think it's all about watching her and Sandra O's, so it kind of... I think she's kind of great. Not great in this movie, but she is doing her goddamn...

Her and Joe Kiri actually are doing their goddamnness to make this a movie, and I appreciate that, at least. I think, yeah, I think the two of them are totally, totally fine in this movie. Yeah. I couldn't, I was trying to figure out, I don't think I'd actually, because I, too, have not seen the last duel yet, and I have not seen any of killing, even. I don't know that I'd seen her in anything.

She's great. Maybe in the last duel. I wasn't that big into that either. Like, she's turning into this person that is like, really exciting to watch the things that aren't fantastic so I hope her she gets something

that's fantastic Andrew you saw the other guy too what I'm sorry go ahead you saw rise of Skywalker right there oh that's true

she's raised mom that's what I was referencing but no I know that I mean she's not she's not that movie also isn't fantastic no I know and she's got like

five seconds in it probably I don't think she says a word I think it's all like music over her just running and screaming there isn't like a come on

come on now maybe maybe there's a come on come on but hold on Hold on. Hold on. Is your father, your father's who? That old, that old guy that runs the universe. Ew. That turns me on. If she went the other way with it. Maybe that's what it was about, dude. Do we get to plan it? What's the situation? I mean, here's the thing,

man. I have seen that terrible Star Wars movie precisely one time. And Eric, when you were saying that about like Ray's mom. I thought you were just joking. We meet Ray's mom in that movie? Yeah, yeah, yeah, baby. What the fuck? Yeah, there's like a shot of, there's a shot of like Ray's mom and dad being like,

no, no, no, leave the vegetables or whatever. We gotta go or some shit. Something like we're gotta get out of here type of scene. Yeah, there's some turn up drama. I was having a real Dustin Hoffman and Star Wars kind of moment right there. You know, the other guy I want to credit as I think, being totally entertaining in this movie is the comedian Utkosh

Ambudkar. Maybe I butcher his name, but the dude who plays Mouser. Sort of like Joe Kiri's, Joe Kiri plays Keys, and his sort of like co-worker who kind of has this like antagonistic relationship with Joe Kiri's character and then winds up like

siding with Taika for most of the movie. He's funny. He's been in, um, he was in that movie Britney runs a marathon, which I actually, I didn't think was great, but he's pretty, pretty good in it. And he's on that... Yeah, you're fine.

But then he's also on that show ghosts, which I know a good amount of folks are watching these days. But anyway, highlight him as well. I thought he was funny and affable and I liked his scenes with Joe

and also the, like the brown-nosing scenes with, with, I'll call him T.W. How about that? Tyco with you, Tyco. Hey, man, I'm going to butcher it. but so like he you know he finds these sunglasses and uh well he sees her and he's like oh my god

I'm in love with that girl I have to follow her humming yeah she's humming fantasy that's right yeah which is sort of like his you know his code his activation code kind of a thing to become right yeah there are three flowers in a vase now kill her Jason do you get the headaches guy that sort of sets her off because she's like oh that NPC isn't supposed to say that his whole repeated line is like don't have a good day have a great day

yes and she is like a avid player of this game hears him say love that song and she's like what the fuck but then he gets hilariously hit by a train and that's kind of the end of that for the moment he They never really address the respond thing, like the existential part. Like, because again, in Groundhog Day, he has that moment of like, I could die and, you know what I mean?

And it's, you know, it's funny and it's, it's sharp and he's eating all this food and he's doing all this stuff. Here it's just sort of like it's an inconvenience. He never kind of grapples with like, holy fuck, I thought I was dead. That is a great point because like he presumably, you know, was just doing his job going to the bank every day, getting his coffee with two milks and one sugar or whatever, or milk and two sugars, which is, by the way, how Jody Comer likes her coffee. It's more of that code

written in, the love code. But he should have that moment. I remember what your coffee was. He should have that moment of like, didn't I fucking die? Shouldn't death mean something in some way to these NPCs? But I guess it's also defeated with that bank scene where

they're nonchalantly talking while it's being knocked over. Like, why aren't they scared there? Why don't they fear death? And what does it mean to to die every day? Shouldn't he have some kind of thought about it? Well, that's what should be in that scene when she's like, no, I know I told you that your life's a game, but your life's a game. And like, that's the biggest revelation in the world to him. It's the big emotional moment for him. In that moment, you should see like, why did I die all those times? What like what happened to me? And all it is, is like, he's like, you said

that my life was a game, but now you're saying it's a game? You know, what? Here's the thing. When he goes into that existential crisis, because this movie has not met a fucking musical montage, it does not care for it. You could toss one in where it's like, I don't know, like raindrops, you fall in on my head.

And he's just like committing suicide. Yes. Repeatedly, you know, like just like Bill Murray does. You know, and like, it would be something. but the fact that it's like we're supposed to believe on the one hand that this NPC is like this hyper intelligent AI that's like growing and finding its humanity but then it doesn't grapple with one of humanity's greatest obsessions like come on man even when let's get fucking freaky here even when she's like this whole world will end tomorrow he's not like holy fuck my existence my computer existence you know what I mean like let's do something here uh he's just really bummed he's just really bummed he's just really bummed that that happened and his life's a game. That's kind of me with Omnacrom right now. I'm like, well,

all right. World's ending again. There's another there's another thing that sort of appears to be like a little bit of a missed opportunity because it happens once. It's kind of cool and then never happens again where he goes into the coffee shop that he goes to every day and it's the same

barista and whatever. And she's like, oh, here you go. Here's your coffee. Two milks, one sugar or whatever. And he's like, actually, today I'd like to try a cappuccino. And, like, all the other NPCs in the cafe start getting, like, kind of nasty with him. Like, yeah, the fuck did you say? You order a fucking coffee. There is a cream, too shoes or whatever.

There's a tank out the window that starts aiming at him. So that could be something. If he continues to get self-awareness, maybe the other NPCs work against him. That could be a thing. Yep. Exactly. They all start looking for a split second. Like, they're going to turn on him.

You better fucking get in line, man. But then, like, the movie never has that moment ever again. And it's kind of, it was a cool like, oh, fuck, what are they going to do to him? But like, forget it. It's just gone. Whatever. There's another scene coming. There's another scene that we got to do.

Let's go. Get out of the way. There's another scene coming. No, we did the joke about the coffee. That was fun. And that's it. Now it's over. We don't have to think about that ever again.

It's like these are building on each other, Andrew. Yes. A vague flash of a threat of violence. that will never come up again really but hey why not just throw it in there what the fuck so yeah in this one day in one of the bank robbery scenes

he decides he's gonna like get into it with this robber and he's like oh I want to put your glasses on or whatever I did like this gag of the player is actually two little girls and like it's the one girl watching like the big sister whatever like play the game

and they're both being like kind of crass like it's a little funny and then like oh whoops, like the gun goes off and like this NPC kills a player and everybody's like totally fucking stunned at what just happened and this is where he gets the glasses and has like this they live moment

basically. And my question is that's a funny joke to do it a couple of times. Funny joke. That's a fine little avenue to go down. It's a funny joke. It is. It is. No, it is. But it's but like then I don't understand what Jody Comer's skin is supposed to be

because like it's just her but she has a British accent. Did Joe Kiri like creepily make her like oh you're one of my little characters or you know what I mean? I think you get to pick your skin so maybe she just likes her own exact likeness. If you're going in there to steal

like you know this kind of corporate espionage she's trying to do you probably shouldn't look like yourself. Yes, that's a great call. Yeah. I would look like the thing. Oh cool. Look at that. orange rock monster oh no he's evil dude i remember

when i the first character i ever kind of designed in a game was that wwf attitude game that came out for n64 you could design your own rassler and i had this huge motherfucker

named the doctor and like the doctor was ready to operate and like i was not a seven foot tall 400 pound dude with a medical license but like I made that character especially though if I was committing corporate espionage yeah it's not going to be a mirror likeness of me absolutely not the doctor could have been a help with this that would have been cool yeah she could have used the doctor dude he hasn't been fucking used since maybe 1999 you're not being very fair here Steve she has colored hair she has suspenders on Comer doesn't have any of those that's very different very different very different So just, you know, watch it. The funny thing, apparently if I'm DB, again,

is to be believed this English accent that she's doing is not her own speaking voice. Yeah, it's like more posh, I guess. She's doing two accents in this movie, yes. Which is fun. I mean, again, yeah, I think she's a talented actress. You can pull it off. Like, I mean, the American actress is like, it's Dr. Strange levels, but it's fine. You know what I mean?

Please, don't, don't slam that woman. Come on, Peter. Which is so weird because in power with the dog He's got a great American accent, I feel like For some reason, what he's doing Dr. Strange, it's like, whatever, Peter. It's lupish. I'm in love with you, blue shirt guy.

He established the bad voice first. Now for a narrative through line, he's got to keep it. Yeah, I remember my old friend, Bronco Blue guy. Oh, yeah, dude. He's got his, he's got his blue guy's shirt. inside of a barn and he smells it sometimes. Did Bronco Blue guy teach you how to ride?

Yeah, he did. Yeah, he did. He put on a digital scarf over my face and then I wrote him good. By the way, she's, you know, she's Millie, but her character's name is Molotov girl.

And we never see her throw a Molotov cocktail. That was. Great question. Great, great point there. pissed me off. Because I do love a Molotov cocktail, especially at a game. Like, oh yeah, I'm fucking those things.

Oh, yeah. I feel like for whatever reason, and maybe this was, I guess, GTA, it was always hard to really get a handle on throwing them actually. Yeah, sure. But like a video game Molotov cocktail for me, man,

it was a real unruly thing a lot of the time. By the way, GTA, like this could be GTA, the movie. And this is where they find a plot all that nonsense but it's kind of crazy that uh they act i still can't get over how not only the movie but i think i saw this take online about like we if you want to defend you know new movies you should be supporting free guy or whatever but it's just like it's so fucking derivative no yeah it's it's it's it's it's insane like you can support like exciting new

movies like fucking watch possessor you know what i mean that's a movie that is exciting that's genre, I mean, it's pretty gross. It's not family friendly. But like, you know, it doesn't have a fucking lightsaber in it. So, like, let's just relax a little bit. You lose, you lose every, every

opportunity to make that argument that these people are making because of the third act of this movie. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, they do it. That's the thing. I guess it's it becomes more blatant at Dan, but they're doing it throughout the movie. Like, he puts on the Mega Man Blaster at one point.

And I almost screamed. It's all in the third act. All of that is in the third act. Because that's when he's fighting the fucking big guy with his goddamn fucking face on it. The Mega Man thing is when they get the video chip. From Channing Tatum. From Chang-Tam. That's in the middle.

That's like right in the middle. Oh, no, no. I'm just saying I thought he used the Mega Man Blaster on. No, I think that might be another video game blast. That's a portal gun. Yes. Well, yeah, there's definitely the portal gun going on. Oh, that is a video game, too.

Just hit me. Wow. I did not notice. Yeah, portal. I did not notice the Mega Man blaster whatsoever. So that's the thing is like, wow, all these references are flying over my head. Now I feel foolish. This is the year.

It's actually this ends, a movie we'll talk about very soon. Space Jam and New Legacy are actually making me like Ready Player One more. Wow. And it's really depressing me. Chris, I honestly can see that because at least that, I didn't like it but it had something going on and

it's two movies in a row where an algorithm is personified and is a major part of the movie and it's really creepy it's I won't get there with Ready Player 1 but I do understand what you're saying because at least that movie does

it allows it to have stakes and the kid is playing it straight right he really he really wants something you know what I mean and you understand what this kid really wants at the very least. It has actual heart, it turns out, compared to this shit, which is just, oh my God, I can't even

discuss it. But make no mistake, Chris Cabin. Yes. This movie this movie leaps and bounds better in that department than fucking Space Jam. Oh, sure. Because, and you know, we'll save it for the Space Jam episode, which we are doing as part of this month also. But like,

at least in this movie, it's less of it. they're like making like a function out of it in space jam it's just like hey look at all these other properties you recognize standing around watching cartoon basketball yeah and they don't like affect the plot whatsoever it's just fucking where's woldo for moron it's just it's just to remind you of all this wonderful Warner Brothers IP that is at your disposal at any moment you would like to have it at a click of your hand yeah that's right have you signed up for and Max yet. And also Waldo was... Judging by their numbers

still, no. A lot of people... Probably not. Where's Waldo? Was Where's Waldo for morons as well? It's a book without words. But you know, that guy was tricky though, man. I kept losing that motherfucker in ancient Egypt. Oh, yeah. Do you think you learned something about ancient Egypt that time, Andrew?

Or not so much? I know. You know what I remember distinctly about what? where's Waldo is what I learned the most was in the beach one there's like if you look around you can find there's a lady that she was like sun sun tapless yeah there's a topless lady that like is like jumping up from having laying on she was laying on her front and then you there they are there's her boobers right there and where's Waldo no there's fucking tini's and where's Waldo this is what my my brain is telling me which I mean I think you got it I think you got it I think you got

it from your your like grade school library and some kid had like drawn some fucking teats in there somehow. I'm going to try to find. Maybe that's what you remember. I got it. No, you're going to eat your fucking hat, man. I'm excited about this. I'm ready to eat something. I'm going to send it to you right now. I'm excited. I was, you know, it means nothing, but I was a huge wears Waldo fan. Look at this. This is amazing. Something awful.com. Oh, wow. Those are. Oh, my God. Look at it. And there's a bunch of people looking to. And see, this is what I get a good look, Costanza. It's a little, for folks at home, it's a, it's a small

child holding a, holding a vanilla ice cream cone that he's putting on a woman's back to make her shocked and jump up and there's her boobers and all these people are aghast. Wow. And that guy next to her has a severe sunburn. Yeah, he's been out the sun too long. I mean, see it's got

the nipples. It does. It's kind of gross. Oh my God. I had this exact book. Now I'm doing a little more reading on this topic. Who cares it's free guy, right? We don't give a shit. Sure. Okay. I must have had the 1987 edition because in the 1997 edition,

they drew a bra on her. Fucking cowards. Fucking cowards, man. That's all I have to say about that. I would love to go to the art. Could you put a fucking bra on it? There's kids here. This is gross. They need to know what the beach is about.

Well, do you know, Well, you know, to be fair, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what the beach is about? Yeah, it's what the beach is about, my friend. Well, you know, they want to sell some of these in Europe, too, and that's what it's about over there. Oh, yeah, that's what I was going to ask is, is, is where's Waldo kind of like tantat, where it's like, it's a European property and we're just not aware of it. All I know about, maybe, all I know about that is. In, I believe this season of Bakeoff, um, uh-huh. Great British Bake Off, something, something.

Noel Fielding, I think, was wearing a sweater close to Where's Waldo? And everyone was calling it Where's Wally? So I assume in the UK we're saying, Where's Wally? Not Where's Waldo? I think you're right. I'm on the Wikipedia right now. And yeah, it is English and it was Where's Wally? Oh, dear God.

The United States is Waldo. America was like, you know how we'll make this better, Waldo? that'll do it that'll move some units well wally that sounds a little too much like a penis doesn't it we're gonna have to shorten that right up uh so they're so joe carey's character keys and his buddy mouser they realize like hey there's some like shenanigans going on in the game here we got this guy floating around this blue shirt guy being a little bit of an asshole they think that it's a player whose avatar skin is an npc which is against the rules of the game. You know, you can't have

your character looking like NPCs. So they go in, they can't boot him out, they realize, so they're just going to go into the game themselves and kill him is the idea. So we have kind of our first Ryan Reynolds specific action scene where they're chasing him around and he realizes

he's got like hyper jump abilities and he's like jumping up through what looks like a derelict department building from Judge Dred. Yes. And you know, this was like kind of okay. Until until, and I'm surprised this movie didn't do more of this

he goes to like jump off this scaffolding thing and tries to latch onto a wrecking ball to escape these guys who are shooting at him and when he jumps we cut to slow-mo and you get the Miley fucking banger I gave it like a wrecking ball

but then like it stops and I was like oh no how many fucking heinous heinous music drops like that are we going to do. Thankfully, I think this was the only one that was that like snippety of a music drop. I just, I hated it so much. This point five seconds. And then the gag is like he falls off. Because we're winking, right? Because again, this action sequence doesn't mean anything. So like if he misses it, it's like, that's okay kids. Next scene's coming. Keep the train of running. He falls, he falls off this like 60 story building. And at the last second,

you vaguely see a graphic say bubble suit and he like presses a button and then this bubble suit comes all around him and he lands safely or whatever as if it mattered because he's a fucking NPC and he would just wake up the next morning Groundhog Day style anyway

but sure bubble suit whatever that was fun watching him bounce around and then he gets hit by a car and literally has to wake up the next day again like it's just at the end but now they find out that he is not like a player that they can count. He's not in the

in the roster like any other player is. He is anonymous. Like he's like as we find out he's an algorithm like an AI algorithm run a buck. So we get there is a there's a weird fucking totally ill placed and I don't even know I guess maybe

it's Jody Comer's character is watching this. There's some like interview YouTube video that comes on where it's a 2015 interview with the two of them Keys and Millie who were they were video game programming partners back in 2015

It's an IGN video Which I have a little bit of a problem with I mean IGN has never had this production Fucking quality nice try everybody Like where is the boom mic Where is the step and repeat Like I don't even know they're like a premiere of something Like they're fucking video game programmers

What are you talking about And it's so dude this video is fucking hilarious Because like this woman is interviewing them and they're talking about the game that they've designed called Life Itself and Keyes Wow, you and Millie are gearing up to be like the hot

indie game programmers like how cool is this And then this woman is just like By the way, are you fucking Yeah which is kind of odd You guys have great chemistry You should fuck They should buy

Yeah And they're like I don't know lady We're trying to talk about this fucking Sims Esk game that we invented Could you not with the fucking question? It's a video game called Life Itself. Oscar Isaac kills himself in the first moment of the game, you see. And then, oh man, that is one of my, how, let's be generous this evening.

Top three movie suicides. Oh, it's a good one. It's a very good suicide. People get hit by buses in that movie, too, just like this one. We were able to get a net bending for one scene. There's really something. Olivia Wilde just wakes up in the next scene, like, whoa, what, what was that about?

Oh, yeah. Well, I think we found out a way to make both of these movies better. Just combined them. Yeah. You get the glibs, sarcasm of a free guy in life itself. So when Oscar Isaac shoots himself at a Net Benning's office, she's like, awkward. Clean up, file three in here, my goodness. You would get a cleanup aisle three joke, absolutely.

And you know what? Life itself, way better movie. You inject, you inject some viciously inappropriate. brick comedy into that movie. Five stars. Holy shit. Absolutely, dude. Like, like, like, Annette Benning gets hit

by that bus or whatever. And then, like, they cut to a close-up and her fucking brains falling out all over goddamn Sixth Avenue. And then Gilbert Godfrey comes into frame with a fucking clownhorn and just hogs it. That'd be amazing. Just a video game about

the, uh, the, the passing on of an olive oil plantation or whatever. The last part of That's when it turns into an RPG and it's like, now you have to run the olive farm. We should tell people a previous episode if you want to hear more about life itself. That was another worst of episode. We're in there.

God. But yeah. But he like announces, like she's watching. No, I'm sorry. He's watching it in her apartment. No, she's watching it in his apartment. Jody Kerman was watching it in Key's apartment. She's like, I need your help.

because I need to find this thing. You know, he stole from us. And he's like, no, he didn't. We got the same deal. And now I, and he like, weirdly was, like, flagellating himself by working in, like, not at the high level of the company, which, uh, he could do. But he's working in, like, I don't even know, like, consumer complaints or something like that.

How noble. Yeah, he, he's like glitch report guy. Like, anytime someone playing the game has beef, like, he gets comments sent to him. And here's the thing. At first, Steve, I thought, like, wow. good move keys because like you're in an unassuming role it will give you a chance to like work to take down antoine who's tyca's character like oh cool like you're sort of trying to be an inside guy nah you're just like a weird coward yeah that's about it and he's like the thing with him is he he's in that position because he's he cares about the fans you know yeah he really cares but and antoine his big crime his big crime is not that he's a completely piece of shit or anything like that. No, no, no, no. It's that he doesn't respect

the fans. And it's amazing because, like, they, so they've taken at least one sunglasses from somebody. So they've essentially deleted somebody's, a Ryan Reddell has deleted somebody's account essentially by taking those works. Yeah, because it's, you remember, you see the

kid being like, what the hell? And like, it essentially took over his game. Oh. And so like, you, you want to rock on two lawsuit avenue. is what's going to happen now. And like, it's, I can't imagine the amount, like, by the end of this, well, it's really insane, but already you're in lawsuit town.

You can't do this drop, you're about this, the car, the free city two carnage. I couldn't imagine a gamer cobbled together, uh, uh, next month's rent, let alone a lawsuit. Oh, no, no, no, no, my friend, this is a kid in a very rich looking house. This was, this was, this was going to get him. Right. By the way, dude. By the way, dude, two words, class action. Oh, yes.

You get a bunch of people together on that lawsuit. That's how you do that. And then you get some action, yeah. And then he just does it. He just does it for fun to give little rel the glasses too. And he says, no, I don't want him. Already lawsuits out the ass. I'm sorry.

But these glasses allows him to do this stuff. He finds Jody Comer. She's about to go into chatting Tatum's secret hoard where this video is, something something and he actually meets her and he's like oh i like you and she's like well i don't talk to people who have a level one i talk to me you have a level 100 and like you know that's something that's like that's kind of the next movement of the movie is him like getting really good at the game and this is something like i know esports is becoming bigger and twitch is enormous the way it's treated in this movie though nah just a little too big i think it's we're still 20 full years

off from this. Someone doing well at a video game being on Good Morning America. You've got to... You know the audience is on Good Morning America? Yeah, exactly. The weird blend of like we're doing Twitch and Good Morning America

is just a weird blend of like the fossil people and then the cutting edge. Well, here's the thing. I will totally... If I have to choose between these two things I'm about to exemplify, I will take fucking Good Morning America every time

because the end of this movie when Ryan Reynolds is trying to like run onto the island to prove that Tyca stole all this shit or whatever and the whole world is watching television like they're watching the fucking aliens come through the sky in Independence Day

is the most ludicrous fucking thing it just is awful because all you're doing is it being the last act of the Truman show which made sense because it was a huge TV show. And yes, Times Square was probably even in that movie a huge stretch. But I mean, like, the idea is everyone was

glued to their TVs. But like the, e-sports and this kind of gaming is very, very popular among a subset of people because who will one day dominate the world. But not yet. Right now it's like, you know, people in their like people are age for sure, but

definitely like almost every, like a lot of people younger than us. Like in their, in their early 30s and they're in their, you know, 20s, their teens, teens especially. Tens, absolutely. Yes, also into tens. But people older than us, absolutely, people in their 50s, I mean, like, I'm sure there's an odd case here and there, but a 50, someone watching Good Morning America

whatever, is fucking stroke if they talk to you on video games. I'm sorry. It would be one thing if it was the gamer, right? If it was, if they were talking about a gamer who did well, I might even be able to buy that bullshit. But it's talking about a car, an NPC, they can't even find, wouldn't the whole story be about we can't find out who this guy is we literally cannot figure out who that's right that like that's what the good morning

America piece would be about and that would be interesting right also if they did that angle and then like they're trying to find who this fucking guy is and then they the address or whatever that keeps going back to the servers of the company is at an inside job is and then we can unravel that he's AI or something that would be nice that would be nice to have something to hold on to in this stupid fucking movie but it can't concern itself with that because it's too concerned about being like so nonchalant about all this fucking action that's happening and there's another scene coming baby there's another scene we got to we got on absolutely i mean yeah we have this we have this leveling up montage and the thing that's obnoxious about it is like i think it's just speaking on speaking on fucking deadpool again like this movie would have been way more interesting to me if it was rated art and part of that that fucking sucks is like the way that he levels up

because he's like oh I'm just this nice guy that works at a bank I couldn't possibly ever hurt anyone so like the way that he levels up is like turning the tables on the game and starts like saving people from other players that are trying to do violence and crime

and whatever else and like that's why he becomes such a sensation like oh blue shirt guy IRL is everywhere he's a fucking question on Jeopardy and I I have to say, I felt so fucking terrible looking at the late great Alex Trebek in this movie. He's in the movie. Folks at home, he's actually in this movie.

His last film appearance, free guy. And he says the words blue shirt guy. Well, this is where we're even kind of playing with the idea of like, who is blue shirt guys? The fact that it would be a jeopardy question, again, like that quickly, it takes years to be. come in Jeopardy question. Who is bullshit guy? Jeopardy is just getting to like pulp fiction right now. They're like, you know what I mean?

It's not exactly that quick of a turnaround. What is Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3? That's right. Oh, yes, exactly. You know, in a 2020 episode of Jeopardy. But he goes, oh, and we'll never know who that is, that guy or a girl. And it's like, oh.

so we don't know who he is. That's something. But so, yes, Millie fast passes a second time into this safe house. Keys is now, like, helping her sneak in. Like, she's sort of convinced him to, like, help out a little bit. So he's, like, sort of adjusting some code and watching, you know, from the outside. It's a little, like, Matrixy here. And, like, I don't know anything about video games.

So I don't know if you can, like, monitor shit like this if you're like a server person or whatever but they he is like watching her from outside of the game as if he's reading matrix code which is kind of weird um but so they get into the room again it turns out there's like a booby trap and all these like pseudo video game characters start running down trying to kill her there's like call a duty looking guys there's assassin looking guys there's a boxing guy there's a samurai a reference a ninja a cowboy and I think like a barbarian type of guy

yeah and you know in comes fucking guy and like helps her out they steal a motorcycle it's this and it's it's oh man and here's another reason here's a way you could have shortened this movie because there's no reason

why she doesn't just grab it here like the video file that she's trying to steal from Tyca like gets dropped on the floor and Ryan Reynolds is like helping her right here like waste all these dudes and he's on the motorcycle or whatever but then like they just drive away like in that moment she could have still just grabbed this thing and and we wouldn't have had to go back right but when we save everybody the time this is

also really confusing because like what you know they says there's their spawn points in there for protection so that's why these guys show up out of nowhere so is it uh tycas or is it as we see later, Channing Tatum is living in this safe house and ends up cooperating. So it feels very muddled to then go back there. And it's not even, it's a user made the video and is keeping it at his own safe house. Yes, you're totally right. I'm wrong about that. Inside this safe house, which is the kid, man, the kid whose avatar is Channing Tatum. You're totally right. It's his safe house. But those spawned, like, he can make cowboy spawn? I would

love that ability, but I thought that would be a game master type of thing. I don't know, man. I wish I could spawn my own Bronco Henry Titt. Well, hello there, Eric. Howdy. I like your voice better this time. So they ride

this motorcycle out the window and there's a fucking totally bad, like, she's like sitting on his lap facing him like while he drives out this window and she's like oh i certainly hope that's a glock in your pocket he's like oh it's not it's two glocks so she starts like firing at these guys and whatever it's very important that that exchange you just said eric uh andrew uh because she he says that's two glocks she takes them and they cut to his face and he very clearly comes

it's very clear his voice his his face is like he literally said he is acting against Joe Jody Cumber Oh man I'm sure she I'm sure she Never heard that growing up

You know what You know she probably heard a lot less than I had to hear So she can fucking deal with it Well you they called you Eric Cumber in high school I fucking wish they did dude I called me no Cubs Yes we have a special guest on this episode, the comments section

of Jody Commer's Instagram. Does she have an Instagram, Chris? She probably does, yeah. Let's check it out. That could take up some time. No, but I mean, like, if you're playing this video game, if you're Jody Comer, you're like, what do I care if my genitals are lining up with this NPC? Who gives this shit? I'm on a motorcycle.

Hey, it, you know, I don't even have genitals in this fucking game. That's another moment in this movie that I think, Chris, you were making this point earlier. Like the lines get so blurred as like video game interaction and person interaction because like theoretically the way it's working is like Jody Comer's character Millie on the outside is talking into a headset microphone at an AI in the game. So like how does she know what she's sitting on to feel it to be like is that a dick or a gun? Great question. right like how what are we doing

is there power gauge going down because he might be erect click a to fondle genital area oh fuck the controller the controller must be vibrating oh yes you're close to genitalia 2.1 million followers

on Instagram by the way of course she's raise mom Eric are you raised mom yeah you can find me I'm on the IG at raise mom you know there's that thing about that old thing I think it's John Water

John Waters thing which is like or maybe it's misappropriated thing like don't fuck somebody if he doesn't have books in his apartment right yeah if so you find out you go to somebody's apartment you find out that their dad is the overlord of the galactic empire maybe you don't have sex with that person

maybe just you back off yeah yeah maybe maybe find someone else in the galaxy to screw huh but you know look at the silver lining there your birth, Ray, and she, you know, did she won or something at the end of that movie, I think. Yeah, she kind of wins or something.

Do they even win? I don't even remember. It's been so long. I got to, I was doing a Star Wars rewatch like the first lockdown. We'll see about the next one. But I didn't. Hey, fingers crossed, you can get through the series. Yeah, I didn't. I kind of stopped right, right before the sequel trilogy,

and I should have kept going. So this is around here is where we are, finally we've been talking about him throughout the script has been mentioning him repeatedly finally we meet Antoine this is Tycho YTT and he says at one point like he comes storming into the office

a big fucking bustling asshole dressed like an asshole the whole thing talking like an asshole and he says to Keyes he's like you know let's just whatever the Free City 2 is launching like next week

let's just like delete all this shit and it's not going to matter anyway because this character once we get over to the new game isn't going to be able to come and Keyes is like hey that's fucked up and this is fucked up by the way

he's like you told everybody publicly that the sequel to Free City was going to be backwards compatible so these fucking avatars and whatever could all come over to the new game and you're now saying

you're not going to do that and all these people are going to have to delete their game basically start a new game with Free City too it's not going to be backwards compatible, whatever. And this is the part where he's like, you promised the fans.

And honestly, like, when that dust up shit happens in the gaming world, man, you better be ready to take the backlash because those people will fuck you up. Absolutely. You promised. Oh, yeah, that's the thing is Keyes is just like, they're really going to be upset.

They're really going to sue you. Sue you. You can't say that, like, especially if you have a board. Like, this is Elon Musk's shit. Yes. Like, you can't just, shout out your mouth like that. Well, the thing I'm, the thing to about

shoot off, sorry, I'm fucking. It's all right, dude. It's been a rough week for a movie. Fuck it, man. It's free. Exactly. Yeah. We're living in a hells game. We're recording this before Christmas. Don't worry. The next joke is coming in the next second. Don't worry about it.

New joke, good. New joke. No, no. But this movie really because they talk about him for the first half of the movie and that he only comes there and also the way the latter trailers they thought they had a fucking gold mine on their hand with this Tycho Wittiti performance and I don't know what Daly's people were watching

I really need to know It's it's unwatchable It should have been in the movie They should have done more takes They should have did a different angle on the character And I think that him in Again not even like his directorial work Or his writing work which is also really good

Him in what we do in the shadows Is one of the fucking funniest performances In a movie period Absolutely it's so good but man it's just a bad idea it's just a collection of bad ideas he's just trying to do something completely out of his wheelhouse

and it does not work no yeah I mean and I know like there was a wide range of opinions on Jojo Rabbit whatever it was a movie that I liked well enough

at the Toronto Film Festival and I've never bothered to look at again but he portrayed history's greatest monster more entertaining than this fucking act. Yes, and in that movie

you managed to love Hitler more than you already do. Oh, Jesus. Jokes, jokes, jokes, joking to joke jokes, joking to jocky joke is the next joke's coming. It's coming. It's coming. Don't worry about it.

It's, but look, but yeah, it's one of those things where like the movie thinks it's amazing and it just really isn't like he does not light up the screen it was like wait till the world sees this oh you don't have to guess that by the way there was a special like a 15 minute like a behind the scenes thing for this movie that was going around was he doing it in character no it was all about like the producers and all them be like taika he's just he's just a powerhouse in this movie you just you just have to see him to believe you won't believe what he does with

the role you won't at all want to run screaming from the theater and tearing your hair out just watching it at all you won't do that at all what you talk about willis that is it if i if i am if i am making a closing argument about that performance i'm saying that and that performance is getting the death penalty that's how it goes i just i you know it's going on 24 hours since i watched this movie for the first and only time in my life and huh you know guys i think i am still reeling from the what you're talking about about Willis. Who is that even for? Is that for the much older people in the audience? Or is that like his character

is supposed to be such a dick that that's something he would say as a dumb dick? Here's the thing, dude, right? It has multiple functions. It, yeah, for the like folks, our age and up, recognize it's a different strokes reference, right? A Gary Coleman reference. Yeah. Little kids watching this movie just laugh at the fact that he says a stupid thing and a silly voice and then they will go out

and repeat that not knowing where it's from but they know that the silly man and the silly movie said the silly thing and that's why it's like even worse so that we could have that expression forever down in the annals of human history by the way

somewhere around here is where they like take this walk to a safe part of free city and get bubble gum ice cream. And like, the scene was halfway over before I realized that they were on a date. Yes. And man, God damn it. God damn. And this is, this is where the worst stuff, but this is, the handsome part is like, this is where they, but this is also the moment where, like, she kisses him. Yes. And I'm like, in, she asks, like, she acts like she kissed a guy for the first time that she's been, like, crushing on at the gym. Yeah. Yeah. Just the same.

But it was, you clicked B while next to a character on Fortnite. That's what you did. That's what she did after he tried to tell a joke about a crippled and a homosexual try to kill a very small child. That's, listen. This is an indictment of internet. Yeah, it's hilarious. I know. It's a funniest part of the movie, but it's trying to do like an indictment of internet culture, I think.

Well, listen, here's the thing. I don't do. a ton of, or I do not do any online, like when I can hear other people talking to me kind of gaming shit. I did it precisely one time. My brother is a big, like, call of duty person. And I was like, all right, man, I'm desperate to find some connection with you. Yeah, let's do it. I'll, you know, I'll check it out. Sure. And I heard some of the most racist, heinous fucking shit ever. And like that joke is. very true and very hilarious

and I thought it was great and it's part of a better movie that's somewhere else because immediately like you're stuck back and free guy again. They talk out of both sides of their mouth you know what I mean? Like which they do later with something else which I'll talk about which really pissed me off. It is

my second favorite joke of the movie that also goes nowhere but like the idea of like oh man these internet people and then you have like all these Twitch streamers and so on you know what I mean? Like you're doing you're kind of doing both you know I mean. Yeah. And those Twitch streamers and YouTubers towards the end are talking about like, he's so hot. Oh,

I love blue shirt guy. That's like, it's produced by Ryan Reynolds. You can't be like, oh my God, that guy's so fucking hot. Holy shit. Again, like who said earlier. Call me I'm attractive on this podcast. You know what I mean? It's pixels

that people are calling very sexually attractive on, but whatever. That's the thing. No, you're, you're totally right Eric it's not about whatever we have to keep reminding people what all the people iRL are looking at is a docafied ryan reynolds and to say that that is hot is fucking weird it's stupid yeah and it should make it should make jody comer look a little weir look a little bit more alienated than she is she is a nightmare shutting in this fucking move uh but she's got so much baggage i don't know if she's

moving out or or in. All right. Another joke's coming. Don't worry. We'll talk about Where's Waldo again instead. Yeah, any more fucking tittyes

are like genitalian in that book series? More controversies on where's Waldo. While you guys continue the episode. Oh, I bet there's a lot of butts. I bet there's just a ton of butts in Worswaldo. Well, Eric's going to get to the bottom of it. I will look for butts. But yeah, so.

Keyes comes over and he explains to Millie, he's like, look, by the way, I figured out what's going on here. This AI that we wrote, like the code actually worked. This thing is evolving. Like, he's an algorithm that thinks he's alive. And they, again, this is like, it's a major thing, right? He's like, this is the first real artificial intelligence. Like, in the world of this movie, this is a thing.

And it's like, you know, this is where it's like, you know, oh, I let him kiss me. what is the joke here? Oh, he found the button. And like, dude, yeah, by the way, Keyes, I think this is why nothing was working out for you, buddy. You couldn't find the fucking button, man, if you know what I'm saying.

But it's, yeah, just imagine, like, like, pleasuring yourselves to, like, the uncharted avatar guy, like, the uncharted guy. First of all, you guaranteed it's out there. Guaranteed that's happening. Oh, God. Just because you're not, listen,

just because you're not pleasuring yourself to the uncharted guy, Chris Cabin. does not mean that scores of people across the world aren't doing it. Have you read the internet discourse on the new Resident Evil, Chris? People are jacked off to video games and they always have been...

Oh, right, because there's a giant woman. There is a giant woman in that game. Jay Owen about that. Oh, I'm going to have to get to the bottom of that. Stuff to jerk off from. I'm sharing you guys with you guys now a picture of a big ass in Where's Waldo? It's a dude's ass.

He's hunched over, eating a chicken. Oh, it's a big old ass. Oh, look at that. That is an ass. This looks like it might be in a medieval setting, perhaps a pirate setting. Ooh, yeah, it could be both. I'm seeing a dude with a headband that looks very pirate-esque, dude. That might be it.

Yeah, so there you go, folks. We should have a juicy ass on that guy's got a, it's a huge dump truck, isn't it? We should do a whole podcast on a book of Where's Waldo, just a how long it takes us to find Waldo individually. And then like, you know, little scenes we find in each little. tableau there would be fantastic our first eight hour episode yeah I would do

is a series retrospective on where's Waldo apparently they did they put out a book Where's Waldo Hollywood that might be a nice nice thing I had that one

I totally did I did not I did not that might be that's our first episode where's Waldo Hollywood there it is

I'll see if I can find it on fucking eBay where's Waldo page by page there it is so she's horny for this fucking video game character and Tyka announces

Free City 2 is going to launch and effectively Free City 1 will be 100% deleted. So she decides she's got to go back in the game and tell Ryan Reynolds what the fucking deal is, tell him the truth and everything so she goes back in and this is a dumb thing that they didn't need to do but I guess it's like her attempting to highlight

the fakery of it all. She goes back in and she's using her character as America. an accent. He's like, why are you doing that? And she's like, oh, I turned off the accent filter. Okay. It's a useless idea of I don't even know.

You know what I mean? Because immediately after this, she takes him to like the waiting area, like the loading area for the game. And like, he's like, oh shit, I always wondered what was behind that door. And it's like, I don't know, man. I think that's proof enough right there. We didn't need this accent filter joke.

I thought the accent filter thing specifically to be like I'm being more intimate with you. Like this is more like how I sound now. I guess so, but in the grand scheme, but what does that matter to him, the NPC? Well, don't, but well, okay, there's that, but also there's the romantic movie to think about, Andrew.

Oh, Chris Cabin, you know, time and again, I am forgetting about romantic angles and movies that have no business having romantic angles. But it's very important. It's very between these two. No, you're right. They might, they might, I don't know, I mean, what is fucking in video games, right?

Like, you can have sexual encounters with a sex worker, like in a, in a car in Grand Theft Auto. That much I know. Whatever gets you off, dude. You're just jacking off, dude. Yeah, I guess at the end of the day, it's all just pulling pot. And I'm flicking bean. Flicking bean, pulling pod, you know, whatever we're doing. And to this, to the sexy Ryan Reynolds.

Every video game you can masturbate to, technically, you know? Mm-hmm. Like, that's true. Yeah, go down that pipe, Mario. You ever, oh man, Mario, that guy, whoof, clean your pipes right out. Oh, man, I jerked off to Adventureland so often. You know what I jerked off to Lemmings? You ever play that?

Oh, wow. A thousand years ago. Oh, they keep dying. Oh, yeah, all these little guys falling off a cliff. Hoof, that's what I like. Oh, man, Turok, the dinosaur hunter. Oh, that guy can get it. I got a dinosaur bone.

he can discover yes anyway next joke coming absolutely I was like wait he's not an archaeologist no no no so she like she gives him the fucking the low down you know and he's like man this is a bad line

and like this is where I can tell the the schmaltz meter was getting cranked up here he's like for a second there I felt pretty alive and like she shows him like the force field barrier on the beach and then he starts this is like as close as the movie comes

to that existential crisis we were really hoping for when he's running around and he's like it's all a lie and like he's yelling at this old lady which was kind of funny because it's Ryan Reynolds just screaming in an old lady's face but you're not getting the other part of that which is like the

the actual and Groundhog Day is a good example of that like Bill Murray plays it like well you feel for Bill Murray like this dude is trapped for all eternity you do not feel anything for this character it's just nothing whatsoever yep yep absolutely uh so he goes he tries to enlist uh little rel's help he goes to buddy's apartment and you know buddy buddy buddy i think honestly is the best character in the movie he's the most level headed he's like you know what like right round's trying to explain this

all to him he's like all right let's say hypothetically we were fucking living in a video game and we were these non playable characters that don't matter and our lives don't matter and yada yada yada and he's like he's so fucking with it this little npc you know he's like he's like all right hey man listen you can say all that but at the end of the day here i am sitting with my best friend helping him through a problem that's all i need to be happy you know and i'm like oh man like this this guy in this fucking terrible stupid video game movie is telling me what is exactly true which is like live for the moment. You don't know if you're going to have it tomorrow.

But don't make me have that epiphany in this fucking goddamn video game movie. No, thank you. He's got a great line like I might not be real, but this moment is, you know? Yes. I mean, Lil Rowe is just very, I mean, he's just always been good.

He just, he fills up any frame. He's just perfect. But right before that the reason this piss, this pissed me off so much was because right before it, we get one of those YouTube guys. I forget which one of them. Yeah. And it's,

it's this unbelievable, where he's like, you know, it has me thinking, you know, I shoot all these NPCs. Oh, God. And, you know, they could be real people. The real lives, they have, you know, they go get beers on the beat on Hitman Beach with their buddies. And, uh, they do real things. And I'm like, are you fucking serious? Is this supposed to be affecting? Like, what the, what is this? We really, the last like 40-ish minutes now, maybe like 30 to 25 minutes of the movie, we start trying to ramp up this NPC rights business. Decades.

Fuck you. Decades after Tipper Gore shat the bed completely on cleaning up video games and music, I still have to hear about. I would get... I still have to hear about it. If that was the case,

I would get 60 consecutive life sentences for what I did to the scientists in the Golden Eye facility level alone, okay? Like, you know what I mean? Those scientists got shot in the head on a daily basis. I would not get a trial dude

there would be two goons they would come to my house one would knock on the door and when I opened it the other one would shoot me in the head that is the kind of body count for the NPCs we're talking about yeah I never got far in those grand theft auto games

because it was just too irresistible to drive on the sidewalk instead of actually playing the game oh yeah I haven't I haven't touched a grand theft auto game in many many many years but like I'll tell you when I was playing him

I wasn't doing those missions I was going around fucking killing people because like I don't know maybe that makes me a lunatic whatever it was infinitely more interesting than playing yes

now you got to drive to this stash house to get this drug dealers whatever the fuck I didn't care that's what this movie's tried to tell you is that you are alluded to it like literally like it's like wouldn't it be nice if we were all just you didn't interact with the MPCs

if you use the NPCs as they're supposed to be used, if you just said hi to them and like, let's go to the fair and stuff like that. Isn't that what it's supposed to be? You know, I think the only thing stopping me from acting out GTA type of violence on regular people is the fear that I won't get into the kingdom of heaven. That's a big one, huh?

So that you think these NPCs should find fucking religion, then that's it. I mean, what is the messaging here, you know? No, it's, well, speaking of which, by the way, is there not some pseudo talk of, like, Tyca's character, is there God? Do they, am I making that up? He's like the creator. Like, oh, you know God? He's, and he's a dick.

That's the joke is that he calls him a dick and he's like, you've met God and he's a dick. Okay. Right. Yeah. No. Guess what? guess what everybody it's great if your dudes

if your dude's real we're going into fucking season three of COVID so yeah I'll blame Tyco with TD on this he's to blame for all this Omicron that's on him you know he uh you know he has an existential crisis but guess what the next scene's got to start

so that's over with um fuck that fuck that moving on and this is the scene where they go um it's him and Lil Rel rel decide to go to Channing Tatum's stash house and this is the very extended scene. Here's the thing you can't do

A the mom's basement thing is a really tired insult to begin with. So time. To do it twice in one movie, it's too much. Because in the beginning she tells you Jackman that he probably lives at his mom's basement. Yada yada yada. I get it. Got it. Done. Within six minutes of the movie

starting. And then you have this whole thing where it's sexy Channing Tatum but he's yelling, bah, don't vacuum right now, you know, and I've just, I've seen this before. You know what, Steve Sadek? I've seen it before and I'll laugh again. I'll tell you right. I'll tell you right now, Chenning Tatum screaming, mom, do not touch that sock. I was dying. Because here's the thing. You're totally right. Living in your mom's basement, absolutely played. Mom, turn off the vacuum cleaner. Just a different take on mom wears the meatloaf. However,

mom do not touch my jerk off sock because it's. crusty and filled with cum fucking hysterical. Are people still doing the sock? I guess somebody mess with tradition. Yeah, that's true. I was never a sock guy. I was never a sock guy. I was never a sock guy either, man. It just, because I knew my mother's

doing the wash. Yeah. And I just, I love her too much. I wasn't a sock guy, but I'll do a little my impression of Noah Wiley from Donnie Darko. I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to to continue this conversation. Why the fucking Fed's

going to bang down your door? No, I just don't want anything else out there. I just want to say that I didn't get into the sock, period. Yes. Yeah, no, you know what, Steve? But also there's another version of that sentence out there that says, I didn't get into the sock, comma. But there are other articles of clothing

that exist in this world. Steve likes to, let's just say, like, to paint shoes. No. Boxer briefs. an old t-shirt, maybe a winter hat that doesn't quite fit well anymore. Oh, yeah, a viny would be perfect to get like, make it look like a little saucer

to catch all the dribbins. Oh, God. Promotional beanie for my stage three, huh? Okay, here we go. Yeah, that's exactly what promotional clothing is for, by the way. Absolutely. Where do you think my fucking traffic t-shirt got up to? Good Lord, where is the next joke?

I was told it was coming. Well, so, Channing Tatum's, you know, a little character here, he helps them find the video. And the thing is, what the video contains is a little bit of a glitch where Channing's little character was doing some funny dancing on like a flagpole or something like that. And he was by the water. And there was some game glitching going on. And there's, oh, my God, this beautiful island out of nowhere. And, you know, they're able to identify like, oh, fuck, that island. Like, that's proof that our code is in the game because that island was part of our original game.

So if we can find the island, we can find where Tyca's hiding all this. And it's proof that he stole our idea, you know, or is using our idea. But we're not getting royalties for it is the idea. But we have, yes, this montage of all these fucking YouTubers and, you know, Twitch streamers and everything. This is where the attitudes toward NPCs are changing and I was I'll tell you what, I just bought this

new TV and I was ready to throw something through it already. Well, that's the thing. I always hate when and you can always smell on them, I don't know, any of these Twitch streamers and I'm sure they're all really nice people and amazing performers. You can smell these people a mile away. It's like, so that's a real Twitch streamer, huh? Okay, got it.

You know what I mean? I don't, I didn't even need to look up the IMDB trivia. It's like, yes. because they're just like wow I don't know about this crazy what's with this blue shirt guy it is so fucking hilarious dude because you you get this you get and it's the thing it's not a knock

on these folks because another area that you will totally get this is when a movie asks a real newscaster to be in a movie and give fake things and the bigger I found the bigger the newscaster the worst the performances

like if you're asking fucking Brian Williams do like a fake thing in a movie it's dreadful but if you look back at like those old bastards in the first Ghostbusters movie like those guys are great they fucking sell it but like nowadays you can smell a real

journalist in a movie a fucking mile away and same thing with these folks right they're very great at what they do which is you know either reviewing games or doing playthroughs and you're talking through it or whatever they're all great at it but the second you're like all right now just say stuff you would you've said before and would normally

say in your profession, but you just have to put in fake names, all of a sudden these people forget how to talk. And it's incredible. Them doing a cameo in a movie sounds like us like being asked to improv on an ad. Here are the points you have to get across YouTuber, but just riff, just riff on it. And then they're just like, anyway, Blue Chew. People love those ads and there'll be one coming up shortly, I'm sure. But Andrew, what you were getting at about like the bigger the newscaster, the worst of the performance to compliment the MCU. Pat Kiernan knocking it out of the park. New York won.

Yeah, dude, absolutely. Pat Kiernan one of the most influential figures in the MCU, honestly. He needs to a star on the walk of fame. I agree. Best in the business. It's so fucked up that in no way home where like, again, blissfully

it's New York City centric, we didn't get that motherfucker saying a single word. It's all fake. Jay, Jonah, of James's shit. I thought Pat was in there. I could have swore he was. I think towards the start maybe. Yes. Really? Okay. Yeah. I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but I left the theater bumming. There was no Pat Kiernan. Were you talking about Spider-Man? I guess maybe I just missed it? Spider-Man? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's, I think he's like, he's talking about like the events

of Mysterio or whatever at the start, I believe. Oh, I must have just missed. You know what? I saw at a draft house. I was drinking during the pre-show. Yeah, you'll, that'll happen. Um, but so like now the thing is oh man let's reboot the server so he next joke's coming he forgets who he is again could be an existential crisis not really

this is what Joe Kiri kind of explains that he was programmed to love her because not that I ever loved you but you know I just you were right next to me and I just made this creepy character that liked all the things you were liking and I'm like I don't know what about this guy just has to go to the bank I don't know you know like that

but so she realizes that she has to kiss him to make him remember and that's sort of something. I guess. I guess. I truly guess. I mean, the whole thing,

so Key's the whole thing is he's like, the AI is on its own. It's this beautiful thing. It's like the first of its kind, Ryan Reynolds. And like, if you were Tyca and you found out about this, you'd be like,

oh, I'm taking that. That's mine. I own that shit. And I'm going to sell it. I've got to sell it. What does Tyca do? he's like, shut it down.

Yes. Destroy it. I want to, that. And, like, that's just the wiping of the first thing. Like, servers is the last thing they do when the fucking bridge is about to be destroyed. Yes. That's why he takes the axe to the servers. But, like, this whole point is just like, we, look, we can't make a 90-minute movie.

We cannot do it. So we have to add this amnesia plot. Yes. Which is like, it's no different than any other amnesia plot. Amnesia plots are always fucking stupid. Yep. This is no different. because you were clever about it doesn't make it any more any less stupid it doesn't it doesn't the movie doesn't need it the movie doesn't like the fact that like oh we lost the the fucking disc that has the footage of my game on it oh we can just go there and this is what we do NBC rights really hard he gives this whole impassioned speech and this is where the movie talks it's I think it's one of the better jokes of the movie for sure but it's also like what do we try to say here because it's like this whole thing about like he gets all the NPCs uh in the

park and he's like guys uh what do you you know we're not in the real world uh she's from the real world you don't how many bank robbers do you have in your uh in the real world's not many at all uh guy and it's like uh well how many times have you seen a corpse like i've never seen a corpse guys like is gun violence a problem in your world

well actually yeah it's a huge problem they're like that that's that's a great joke but then but the gun fetishes in this movie is off the fucking charts so then what are we talking about yeah but like well I mean it's kind of like you know

criticizing the system you're living in sure well the thing is you know what I mean like they're going to engage in it and we're going to have fun with it but don't don't forget

at the end for five seconds you'll see that new game life itself where we can live with dinosaurs and be nice to each other I see yeah so that's the ideal world I guess is the idea as opposed to like

oh I don't know man I think the fucking people that designed life itself never saw a little movie called Jurassic Oh that's right Cool free guy Got killed for real

in the new game by a dinosaur Attack Dude I see that dinosaur walking around At the end of that movie I was like Look out everybody

Nobody Nobody seemed to care No Just say hi to him Stop using violence I like the gag of the fat guy Who won't put his arms down

That's fun You know Credit work That guy's funny Yeah But yeah So all the NPCs decide, you know, yeah, we're going to

basically go on strike and they ditch the routines and all kind of like hang out at the coffee shop or whatever. And it is kind of a funny moment. Like, I can imagine if you're playing one of these games and like you go into the world, like, if you just started playing GTA and like the streets were empty, like the beginning of fucking vanilla sky or something, like this moment was like kind of interesting or whatever.

But then like any kind of interest I had in all of this is completely wiped because right here, is the moment of the movie where Tyca says what you're talking about Willis it's really good God damn it's really a lot right and that's because you get

the NPCs are you know they're having their rights powwow so they can't call the police and military and up them to five badges so right this is sort of the solution is to upload dude oh dude

oh dude it's like you have this really like beaten down exhausted frustrated team working at Tyca's video game company that seems to be like pretty much just the team that's in charge

of Free City too and I do like that there are some gags where he's like asking them to do stuff and it's like that you're a fucking moron and shouldn't be in this leadership role like there's a lot of those jokes but they're like yeah okay he's like put dude in the game

and they're like dude isn't done yet, you know, and he's just the hubris of it all. So in comes dude or get dude ready I guess is the idea. But then they boot everybody. They kick everybody out of the game, which I feel like, yeah, again,

if you're like the Fortnite people, you know, it's like a fucking five alarm fire if everybody gets kicked out of there, right? Like that's your whole fucking business. It's such a big switchboard lighting up. It's such a big

historical event that eight and a half years from now, Jeopardy will reference it. It's that big of a deal. It's real to me, God damn it! But yeah, so we realize there's this like, you know, bridge that guy has to cross, you know,

and if you can get to the end of the bridge, that's where like the secret island is or whatever. And in comes dude, and you sort of just see like from behind, like this jack fucking guy. And then like you see what's going on here and it is a deep faked

Ryan Reynolds on the body of a real life bodybuilder. The joke is because once a guy becomes this cultural phenomenon right, what do you call it there? Tycho Wittit. He's like, oh, we should put him in the new game.

He'll be put him in the new game. It's going to be fantastic. We'll make him even cooler and this is that version of it. And you'll notice that. Oh, I totally miss that long. tattoo of a blue shirt on his enormous body because like that's kind of like the corporate

joke. You see Andrew whereas a blue shirt guy was the good guy who would get his points by stealing guns and stopping murders like Tipagore wanted to all the years ago. The bad guy here, he wants to hurt people. He wants

to bash people. He wants to violence. Big violent stuff. And then yeah, they fight and the fucking lightsaber comes out and I scream. Oh, well, yeah, first he dude gears up for what's called a death blow when I guess your fist

goes red. Maybe this is a reference to something I'm not picking up, but that's fine because I'm a grandby, I'm a thousand years old and he's trying to... Well, you know, Eric, you know what I was thinking of, dude? Not for nothing. Because I know you and I both watched this movie recently. Is it possible? It's a fucking

five fingers of death reference? I guarantee you it's not. because that movie also known as king boxer is kind of good and fun and this is not I would love if it was influenced by it but but probably not maybe I'm wrong maybe Sean Levy's watching kung fu movies I don't know I mean all I know is that in that movie when uh the hero gets ready to use his fucking five fingers of death move his hands glow red is that is that is true I did not make that connection. Wow. Yeah. So I'm sure here it's just stupid. Like, oh, red

means tough or firm. Yeah. And right what it's about to happen, he goes into his inventory, pulls out a big shield. It's the Captain America shield. And they do the Avengers score drop. And I'm like,

you better believe it. Ladies and gentlemen. Christ. It's just like, you know, pissing. At this point, fucking Walt Disney should just piss on the 20th Century Fox logo because that's what this was. What else I hate about this is Ryan Reynolds is

mugging at the camera about it like he knows. Oh yes. Like Mr. Free guys watching the Avengers movies just like everyone else. And then cut to Chris Evans just to fucking put the cherry on top. Not the cherry. That's the fucking that's the hearse, my friend.

I mean like the fucking runoff of the end of this reference. It's like when Chris Evans is like, holy shit what the heck it's like it's like Chris Evans is fine whatever but it's just like it's over like the joke yeah everyone is glued to the screen though

even the mega celebrities are watching the trials and tribulations of Mr. Free Guy hey we should point out I'm going to stop a bunch of tweets here not only does he have Captain America's shield his other hand turns into a Hulk arm and he punches him

Here's the thing. Only, sorry, but only funny move in this whole thing. And, you know, Steve, I know you're not a fan of this nerd kid in the real world. But I had another big laugh because it's a, it's not a, the kids being derogatory towards the mother or whatever. It's the kid trying to be inclusive with the mother. They cut back to the guy who's got Channing Tatum as his avatar. This dude just goes, mom, he's coming in with the death. Yeah, you're right, you're right.

I was kind of hooting and hooded. The actor is funny, I think. You know, do you mean? He's a funny actor. Oh, yeah. Like, yeah, it's just. The fucking also, because we're talking about themes, too. When the lightsaber comes up, you better believe that Star Wars drop happens.

Is that to make someone up in the audience? Like, Star Wars? Like, I mean, like, what? Like, I know the lightsaber is, folks. I don't need the score. Yeah. But, Steve, I think you're right, man. That is a really loud audio drop towards the,

end of this movie to wake dad up so he can start fumbling for the car keys but now this is like basically two Disney references in a row change it up make him pull out I don't know the fucking knife dildo dick thing from seven got it yeah something from the 20th century

Fox universe or like why doesn't he have Wolverine claws you know what I mean that would be something yeah there's also a Deadpool poster in this movie don't you fucking worry about oh is there really yeah I think the nerd kid It's got a big Deadpool close. Why not?

Checks out. But I think also around here too, there are, because this is where he uses the portal gun again. There's another gun from another game. I don't recognize. I'm sure other people did. And you all just went. Because that's the only fucking reaction you can have to this.

The subist basis of fucking references. Little rel fucking, you know, comes in and helps him here. By the way, I found it. I was just, sorry, Steve, I was just looking at the IMDB trivia in his climactic fight against dude. Guy uses multiple weapons from other movies and video games, including Captain America's Shield, Hulk's fist, the gravity gun from Half-Life 2. That's what you're referencing there. Ah, yeah, yeah. The portal gun from portal and the rainbow smash axe from Fortnite and Star Wars's lightsaber.

Hey. There you go. There you go. Fun stuff. You see this, Paul? Gravity gun. Hey, hey, Paul, can I have some end of creativity as we know of music? Graha, gra-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-dra-gravity gun.

David. Oh, excellent. Yeah, so whatever. little rel like helps him and then they defeat the guy by showing giving the sunglasses to him and like now he realizes he wants to do other stuff or something it's fucking he's like too dumb he's just running around to chase the colors or whatever yes and like yes the gag is like because it's an unfinished thing like he can't speak in full sentences he keeps saying catchphrase yes yes catchphrase and like insert joke here basically is that the idea, which like, hey, pretty convenient screenplay. The only time I thought that was really funny was when he says adjective.

Oh, yes. Yes. Yeah. So, yeah, so Lil Rel, like they, yeah, dude decides he's had this epiphany and he runs off. So Lil Relo's like, all right, man, you know, I'm your, your fucking best bud. Like, we're going to do this together. We're going to cross the bridge. And this simultaneously in the real world,

Tyca is going fucking Jack Nicholson on all these servers. He's got this fucking axe and he's knocking all these servers. you feel like you might Frank Grimes yourself in this situation? You just accident like a fucking fully plugged in server like that? I don't know, dude. Well, you know,

that's why it's very smart that he's got a wooden handle axe though, Steve. Yeah, that's true. Worse thing that can happen to him, which would still be rad to see is like, I don't know, a bunch of fucking sparks burn his face or something. He turns into Christopher walking at the end of Batman returns. Oh, yes.

We need more fucking skeletons like that movie's God damn. Definitely. Uh, but so, yeah, so as he's doing that, as the servers are all collapsing, the city is collapsing and everything inside the game and, you know, a big sort of, uh, separation happens between guy and buddy and Lil rel's like, hey, just go on without me, man. I got you that far. I'm so happy right now. And he like drops into the nothingness. And this, I think, I think was my biggest L.O.L of the movie where it cuts. to like the lobby of this video game company office building and all the security guards are standing in the lobby watching the thing go down on the TV because Lilrell of course remember was a security guard in the game and this you have this huge

jackdude because that security guard right there was a goddamn hero I'm sorry I just was laughing you're allowed I don't know there is another it was late Joe Curie has been fired at this point and he's the one who's streaming this old thing. And he just texts Joni Comer, the server or servers, exclamation point. She's like, oh,

Tyco Watiti's got an axe to the servers. Got it. I'll be right there. Absolutely. Perfect time for a complete sentence. But she's able to because I guess life is like a video game. She's able to get into this facility and get into the server room without any problem identification, anything.

It's fine. Yeah. When she she has like an open lawsuit pending against the company and Tyco Watiti himself. Like, yeah, okay. Let him right in. And she, I guess everyone's too glued

on the fucking feeds on the Twitch streams. Even the security guards like you said are watching it. Oh, right. True. They're not just like checking their Twitter or, you know,

watching last night's football game or talking to their girlfriend. They are fucking totally glued on what fucking Gleep Gloop 26 is doing in the silly video game. You're right. No, you're totally right. And Tycho Waititi is over poor Paul Giamati's back saying, hit him again.

Hit him again! I mean, that's the thing, too, is like, not only are we doing, we're so Truman Show, because he's on the water. Like, he's trying to touch the surface. You know what I mean? He's literally trying to touch the wall. But so she basically says, I will drop my lawsuit and give you the rights to everything if you don't crush that last server. She wants to save all the NPCs, including. her NBC boyfriend

Yeah, you know Yeah, so You know, he makes it He makes it to the island It's a beautiful little place And I guess they can live forever It goes on that, you know There's this thing where Tyca, when they're making that deal

Him and Jody Comer, you know, he's like All right, so you're not going to try to like Get me for any royalties going forward You know, even with Free City 2, Free City 2, free city free city four and she's like no no no we just want our code so we can go make free life and he's like well nobody's going to want to play free life and it's this whole like it's not about making money okay okay okay see see how long you can ride that train uh you know and then oh well wouldn't you know it they didn't have to worry about that because free life becomes a

huge game and for the biggest indie game of all time Good Morning America, there's footage of Taika Watiti being arrested for something. And I'm really unclear about that. Like, he's like corporate self-sabotage, maybe. I mean, you know, violence against servers, I guess is part of it. I don't know.

I mean, I think it's property. Well, they say something because it's supposed to be a little time after the events of the most of the film. And they say fraud, but like literally it's like, and Free City 2 is a bomb. People fucking hate. it. And that's what I think he's going

to jail for. It's because they don't like the game. Boy, if we could just jail people for making bad video games. You know, Mother, I was watching Good Morning America today. Apparently, that Mortal Kombat 11 isn't doing quite as well as people thought. Heard that on Good Morning America today.

Thankfully, I saw that story on GMA, mother. President of Blizzard Entertainment, it's going up the river. Turns out Diablo 2 wasn't such a good idea. Like, what the fuck? dude and like so you you fucking totally totally 100% think that this movie is over with and then like she pulls this video out of her ass where it's like him being like by the way

that other video this is a joke here he talking he's like by the way that other video where I was like oh yeah I just had to do something and base it on something right actually I'm totally in love with you. And she's like enchanted but then she realizes like she's got to break up with this fucking AI. Oh man. Here's the thing.

And I mean like I actually don't even mind any of this again because I do think Joe Curie and Jody Comer are good and they have decent chemistry like the end of the movie then has to be this sweet moment with them on the street. And that's and then and then credits. And then you've like sort of said like

video games kind of are fun aren't but like real human emotion actually trumps that, et cetera, et cetera, like, and you know that Ryan Reynolds is okay. Like, you know what I mean? It's kind of a cool twist. It's like, oh, he was just a video game character. It's more about what Joe Kiri's story was.

That's a, and it's not a great ending, but it's an ending, you know, but yeah, and like they do this whole thing where it's like he says, you know, you want a cup of coffee? You want to go get a cup of coffee? She's like, no. And he goes, all right, well, I'll bring you one back. Then she discovers that video. So the final scene is like she runs to the coffee shop

And they're like across the street And it's actually weird But it's also nice like there's no dialogue They just kind of like look at each other And then finally when there's no cars coming And by the way you know Normally in these kind of situations I'm like oh fuck where's the meet Joe black situation

But this movie has clearly lined up That like that shit only happens in the video game world So you know they're both totally fine So you're like waiting for it They come together in the middle of the street kiss and hug and yada yada and you're right steve that should be the end of this movie but we cannot help ourselves there's another scene of comment absolutely another one in the way but you're right we go we go back to free life and here's ryan reynolds again and boy and this is a massive

fucking cop out little rel's character is just alive even though he was deleted for and like that actually held some weight course of course god forbid anything and he's alive and well and not that i'm complaining about seeing the man again i think he's great but that character was fucking deceased and the movie was better for and and he's hanging uh ryan reynolds hanging out that monstrosity dude character and it's like you know all the jokes are back and blah blah blah and yes the cute ending that we had the ending to sort of a romantic comedy which just might have been uh right is is out of that's out of the movie at this point because you've shown me one more scene that's right you totally fucking

get it. And it's just the scene with Lil Reli being like, wow, I thought always dead, but I guess I'm not. What do we do here? And Ryan Reynolds is like, whatever we want. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the end of this movie. We get the fucking slow, weird, haunted music box version of fantasy again. This trend has to stop. This trend absolutely has to stop where we have some great fucking pop tune or maybe even just a mediocre pop tune and then you get some fucking Dickensian ghost to fucking cover

it slowly and eerily I'm so over it like listen not all of you can be the chromatics I'm fucking sorry okay but like enough already with this enough not every female singer songwriter is cap power you know it just

it doesn't happen like that God damn that's dumb and you know this movie doesn't even have the decency to add a stinger of any kind No, that's good, actually. Yeah, no, that's a breath of sure. But no, no, but let's, no, wait, wait, but like this, in a, like two hours in a sea of bad decisions,

all of a sudden you're going to make a good decision at the end of this movie? I don't think so. You drop a stinger. That's fair. You drop a stinger right in there. I will, you get an instant star in a movie by fucking ending at the credits. That's one star you get. Oh, speaking of stars, Steve, would you recommend this movie?

I would not. think, you know, I used to like Ryan Reynolds. He's just been an autopilot. He's just Deadpool. And I even liked when he was Deadpool that first time. And even that second one, because I like cable quite a bit. I digress.

But, you know, he, you know, I liked his thing, but that's all he does. And it's just dripping in irony and it cuts the fucking air out of the balloon in every fucking scene he's in. Therefore, this movie can't have stakes. This free guy character should have stakes.

it's not the most original movie I've ever seen. I'll tell you that much fucking 20th century Fox so maybe you should stop fucking sucking your own dick about it. That's where I'm at. Chris Cabin. Yeah, all that, of course. Steve is right on the money. I also, I hate this movie.

Don't watch it ever. It goes to a thing about movies just not being able to be one thing anymore. You have to be 17 things. You can't be a romance between these two keys and Jody Comer's character like you couldn't do that it had to be an action movie and it had to be ready player one and it had to be uh fucking matrix and it had to be all these other fucking movie it's literally

like matrix if one of the sentinels like became nice and was like remade the whole matrix in its image of being nice and like it sucks so much uh and at just this under underline it i did like ryan reynolds at some point but at this point it's like every time i have to turn it off. Eric Sisko. I want to say again, for people out there that do like it, I think it's okay to like it. It's not my cup of tea. I think there's a lot of flaws here.

I agree with everything Steve and Chris has said. That said, Ryan Reynolds, I mean, I still get why people like him. He's very charming even in these moments. I don't think he has much of a character here or anything to gleam on to. But he can deliver it. joke when he needs to but other than that I really dislike the movie and like we said earlier

I think it's making me think of better movies that done the similar concept that are also bad like ready player one which I think is better than this now I mean so the good thing about movies is they keep on coming and somehow the bad ones look better

because another one coming baby yeah I mean Eric I think you're totally right man and we can just only hope that you know better movies start common I guess we got a whole month's worth of shit that did not work last year right

and yeah you know I don't disagree with anything you guys say I feel like I was with this movie a lot more than you guys were but like the third act really destroyed any goodwill that I had built up towards this movie

because honestly through so much of it I was thinking and even like say like Chelsea and I were talking about it and it was like okay like yeah it's sort of of like aping GTA fine you need to set up somewhere but like for the most part I was like cool it's free of like

other IP and like the fact that by the time I got to the credits I heard both the theme song to the Avengers and fucking Star Wars kiss my fucking ass man like honest to God just make a thing that's one thing and just let it be that thing

and this movie maybe it wouldn't have been great but it would have been better for it if they left that stuff out and as far as Ryan Reynolds goes like I really like that guy. I have no ill will against him. I just wish he was a little more choosy these days and

you know, branched away from the Ryan Reynoldsing of it all because it's just, it's been done you're more than Deadpool, dude. I know you're more than Deadpool because you were doing things that entertained me before Deadpool. Let's figure out what we can do there. But yeah, I would not

recommend this movie. I almost last night thought I was going to, but this discussion this evening has turned me right around. You can just, you can fucking keep it. And Lord knows, you know, in 2024, we'll probably be doing worst of 23 and Free Guy 2 is going to be on it. But that is Free Guy directed by Sean Levy. Yikes and a half. If you want more We Hate Movies, of course, check out patreon.com slash we hate movies. Got a lot of great stuff going up on there. If you're still playing catch up from last month, we got the American Movie Mentary, which went up late in

December, a ton of fun, us just having a good time. a really great documentary that's like I know a lot of folks like don't sync with the films and I always recommend you sync with the movie but this was one of the ones when I was QCing I was like

you can listen to this without watching the movie and it's fucking hilarious because you're listening to us like have a really good time with it but yeah so there's a lot of stuff of course coming up all your faves will be back this month

Melro 210 of course the Nexus will be back AD it's all happening but the worst of 2021 continues next week Steve Sadek what are we talking about oh dude let's roll out the balls

and fucking get some slam dunks it's space jam too baby oh why did we back to back it I don't know that's a great question there's another one coming there's another one there's another one coming there's always another fucking

IP orgy coming is there not how man so until next week when we may die on air. I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Seda. Eric's sister. Next episode coming. Take it easy. That was a hate gum podcast.