We Hate Movies - S12 Ep587: Space Jam: A New Legacy

Episode Date: January 11, 2022

On this episode, the (Some of the) Worst of the Previous Year month continues with the disgusting IP orgy, Space Jam: A New Legacy! Why couldn't they give LeBron a hilarious little house like Michael Jordan got in the first one? Why did they have to make gross, pseudo-photorealistic Looney Tunes? And how many of these familiar WB background characters were ripped right from their respective porno parodies? PLUS: Look out for Granny and her tight, cartoon pants in that Matrix world—yikes! Space Jam: A New Legacy stars LeBron James, Don Cheadle, Cedric Joe, Khris Davis, Wood Harris, Ceyair J. Wright, Lil Rel Howery, Zendaya, Michael B. Jordan, Steven Yeun, Sarah Silverman, and Sonequa Martin-Green; directed by Malcolm D. Lee. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

this week on the program. Well, well, you know what it is. It's space jam and new legacy. I'm Andrew Jupin. The king of podcasting Steven Sadek. And I'm a cartoon character. And we hate movies. Hello everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in as always. That's right. The sum of the worst of the previous year month continues this week. We're talking Space Jam, a new legacy. It's directed by Malcolm D. Lee. You know him, of course, as Spike Lee's cousin, but also an accomplished director in his own right. Directed things like The Best Man, Undercurrent. Cover Brother, The Best Man Holiday Girls Trip, which is a great movie and a bunch of other stuff. This is by far his worst film. We should say that

Chris isn't with us today because he was bullying his son at a meeting with Paramount Pictures and all of a sudden, he just disappeared. He just flat out disappeared. I don't know what he's up to. Yeah, we're in the Warner Brothers universe right now and he's over in the Paramount universe. So he's hanging out

with what, like Jason and Indiana Jones. Yeah, he's got Jason, Indiana Jones, all the Star Trek folks are hanging out over there. All the 902 and O kids, too. That's right. Perry Mason. The old Perry Mason, not the new Perry Mason. But nothing's wrong with Chris. He'll be back next week. No, we should point out, the reason that he's not here is because of an internet thing, because we're all back doing fucking remote shit. Thanks a lot, COVID.

Fucking S my D, you shitty virus. That'd be cool. Like, if it, if it, if it, If it could actually S your D, people would be running through the streets trying to get that thing. I don't know. That virus started to S my D this Christmas, man. It really got close. That's right. Stephen Sadek, COVID positive COVID survivor, which proves that it's just a cold and we don't need any protection.

I am not going on the record with that. You can push that one yourself. No, it sucked and stay safe, et cetera. I was very lucky to be okay. You can probably still hear it. Because you're vaxed and boosted, motherfucker. That's why you're all right. So get vax, get boosted, if you can, et cetera, et cetera, be safe.

And get a good internet connection. Also that, yeah. Oh, yeah. Because so that algae rhythm could go fucking, oh, Jesus. I must say, this one was rough. This one was a tough one. It's awful. Yeah, so betwixt the three of us, you guys watched it for the first and only time.

I've seen this twice now. But so, so take me through it. What was, the blood was boiling, the skin was crawling, all that stuff? I'll let Eric go. I'll go first. Yeah, I just, you know, I'm, I'm the big, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the big basketball fan here. I think I could say that with some, uh, authority. And I was like, and I love the looted to it.

So I'm like, and I actually have like goodwill towards, I have a complicated, but goodwill relationship towards LeBron James. So I was like, and I think that he's a better actor than Michael Jordan in general. You know what I mean? So I was like, this couldn't be that bad. And then I saw all the stuff in, you know, previews about the Warner Brothers verse. I'm like, well, I'll never watch this movie until I have to. And last night was the one I have to. And the branding shit and the self-suck of LeBron James, which is the thing that I don't like him for because he loves to do that stuff.

Yeah. It just, it gets to be a lot. It's really grating. And there's, and 30 minutes, no looted tunes. Fuck you. How about that? Absolutely. fuck you, at least have them on the TV in the background

in a scene or something. Yeah, that's a good call. The problem with this, and also, you know, the spillover from Free Guy and apparently all movies now is we have to make them ready player one. Yep. I just can't take it. Like, that first Space Jam movie, I do wish Chris was here because sadly, he watched the original one again in preparation for this episode. So he got double-fucked. Oh, yeah, dude. Chris Kevin fucking double-stuffed Oreo this week, man. At least that from memory, you got your Looney Tunes.

And then you got your space monster guys. And hey, that's fine by me. I just can't take the self-sucking of the IP throughout. That's the thing, right? So I realized last night when I was watching this for the second time, which technically I guess was maybe the first time, I greened out super early and super hard watching this movie. and I missed a lot of the

like Looney Tunes-centric getting the band back together shit and kind of woke up just for the IP self-suck and the big and all the characters and whatever I mean it's obviously throughout the whole movie but realizing this time though yeah like that's the thing

right that first Space Jam movie it is just Michael Jordan and the Looney Tunes and fine whatever we're fucking talking about slavery in that movie Wayne Knight and Bill Murray are farting around in that movie that movie's got some things going on and see our previous episode on it

but this is just soul crushing and this is why it was my deemed on my personal letterbox like worst movie of the year because like it's just depressing it's depressing that like they were

like this is a great we'll fucking feed these pigs a trough full of garbage IP shit and all these pretty fun character that you're all going to recognize and go, oh, look at that, look at that, like some sort of perverse wears Waldo. Well, I mean, I guess that's, since Chris is not here, I should be the one to drive out of my way to hit the MCU

with something that has not to do it. No, I think this is end game Infinity War fallout. Like, you know what I mean? The first wave of the Avengers was like, oh, man, we have to have a cinematic universe and everything needs to connect in some way, not all at the same time, but just, you know, references to other stuff that's that's what sells these days but ever since end game infinity war and all this stuff it's like no how much can you fit into one

shot you know what I mean how much different uh characters that you recognize from other stuff can you fit into one single frame therefore you have a successful movie by the way you don't and I rewatch those movies and those movies are super fun and fine not the best movies in the world but they actually at least build to it and pay it off now it's just like shorthand, you know what, if I could have fucking Captain Crunch and if I get Captain Crunch and Hallie Berry's character

from Monsters Ball in the same shot, it's an amazing movie. But man, Captain Crunch fucking slamming Hallie Barry Doggy style in that movie. Unbelievable. Oh my God. And then his son Heath Ledger has to, I don't know what happens to him.

He gets hurt or something? I don't really remember that. He goes to jail or the problem with the fucking Captain Crutch is then the roof of your mouth feels all weird for a couple days there it is but you know his let them crunch berries fall on your chin

okay his testicles are crunch berries I was about to say that oh excellent I like that but yeah like just the the way that all of these shots of like you know all these the IP just like sitting on the lawn I guess watching this

basketball game like it's all just so like cluttered and gross and you got like king con and the iron giant fist bumping like god damn it's just depressing for some reason you got multiple jokers multiple penguins well because that's what we're doing right is like you know the 60s and the 80s slash 90s like burton shit like it's all there we own it all don't you love looking at this isn't it fucking hilarious that a burgess meredith penguin is standing next to a michel fifer catwoman isn't that something that blows your mind? It makes me clap and laugh and smile

and buy popcorn. And that's, I mean, that's what, I mean, again, to drive out of O-A and sideswept the MCU, that's going to be the problem with this new No Way Home movie, uh, Fallout, spoiler coming in three seconds. Now it's going to be all the iterations have to talk to each other. You know what I mean? We're going to

we, because these things make shit tons of money and nobody has an original idea in their fucking heads. And it's not necessarily their fault, but the aping becomes so grating. And that's how you get Bob Downey back in the chair, by the way, or back in the suit. Absolutely. All of that. That's my running

theory, by the way. All of that stuff with No Way Home, which like, I'll admit sorry, I'm a fucking pig here. I did like it a little bit. I like to find it. I had fun with it. I wanted to bring up that the letterbox ratings. I mean, I gave that movie three stars. I thought it was fine. I think

there's a lot of problems with it. But Steve, You know, I just want to silence some comments, dissidents, you know, about your, the MCU bashing is you still gave Infinity War or whatever, like three and a half stars. You don't outright hate these movies. I think people sometimes, if you try to like look at a movie in any type of analytical lens, like people think you just, you hate it. Yes. And also, like, here's the thing. If the most popular kid in school comes in every day and I don't know, let's say something, he. he makes fun of the fat kid

and then everybody else starts making fun of the fat kid it's it's kind that's not even the right metaphor but basically if the most popular kid in school comes in and uh makes fun of me

no not even makes fun of like starts wearing starts wearing fucking uh a tweed jacket then everyone wears a tweet jacket you'll start to be like well I really wish that kid never wore a fucking tweet jacket in the first place because I'm sick of fucking tweet jackets yeah yeah and Andrew I think I might have interrupted

you think that Iron Man's going to come back in a future movie? I just think that what they did with this multiverse stuff in this movie, which was fun for this movie, will now also then be bastardized as an excuse to get Bob Downey Jr. back, to get Scarjo back in some

fashion. You clearly can tell from that Hawkeye show that we are still thinking about fucking Black Widow left and right in the MCU. So like I won't be surprised by any of that. I hate the fact that like a thing that I thought was kind of cool. for this movie, like, for that movie, not Space Jam, A New Legacy, for the Spider-Man movie, like, and I guess you can argue it's the same thing, but I don't think it is. You know, it's a much more contained version of this fucking Space Jam WB Jizz Fest that we got here. But like, it just, it sucks that a thing I thought was cool for this one isolated incident in a Spider-Man movie. Yes. While I was even watching it, I was like, you're having fun, stupid, but you know, they're going to fuck you with the same idea by bringing like dead people back and whatever. And,

just some more flowers for the MCU. I did enjoy Hawkeye quite a bit. Great, great serious. Hawkeye was awesome. I have to say, a lot of fun. Fucking grounded, just a, we're doing a thing, there's a crime boss doing a thing, and we're taking

someone down. Like, that's good, God damn, it was a relief. So this starts off, like the original Space Jam, if I do remember, with a Nintendo commercial? Yes. With a flashback to LeBron James as a I believe in the in the O.G. Space Jam

it's just Michael Jordan did his father and like he's pushing himself really hard and his dad is like you gotta start gambling son. No no no no he's just like he comes out and says something inspirational it sticks with him. Here it's a little bit more pointed because LeBron his friend you know his mom drops him off

by the way LeBron's mom in this movie not too shabby I didn't look up who the actress was but I was like LeBron's take note. LeBron's hot mom. I think both LeBron mom's fake wife in this movie is really attractive as well. Oh, well that's Senekew Martin Green man

from Star Trek Discovery. She's awesome. Oh, is that? Okay, I've not watched Discovery yet. Yeah, she fucking kicks ass. And yes, is also totally gorgeous. But so he you know, his mom, you know, LeBron famously came from nothing. So his mom's just dropping him off. And his buddy Malik who winds up coming in later as an adult gives him a Game Boy like hey man I'm done with this

You can take it because you're you're you don't have money And this fucking coach is like fuck off Steve sorry but did you catch what the kid says to him though What Malik says to LeBron right now He's like he's basically like here You can have this game boy my dad got me one of the new game boy colors Oh so it's because we're in 1998 right now So we're getting the color game boy screen

And he's like here's my fucking scraps it's still nice enough to give it to your poor friends. I know it is. I wasn't giving any of my friends anything. No, definitely not. But so this coach is like, how dare you even look at a video game, you little piece of shit? You're my meal ticket. And this was surprising for me because this coach C is Wood Harris, who's been in a ton of things. He's on the wire among a ton of other shit.

But yeah, just that he's like, you know what? Because they're talking in the parking lot, like after the game. And of course, like it's, it was a close. game and LeBron missed the game winning shot or whatever and he's like look LeBron I am not even worried about the outcome of this game you will miss baskets all the time but these goddamn video games

have to stop how he says something like and like this is it's a it's a totally thing he's like you know how is it you know that you're gonna don't you want to like you know get into the NBA and like do right for your family and support your family and he's like

manipulating this child I'm 12 Don't you want to be able to buy your mother a house someday? It's like, oh, well, yeah, I guess when you put it that way, sure, I'll throw this Game Boy in the garbage. I'm a 12-year-old child. What he should have done was 1998 is try to scare LeBron straight and drive him, because I'm only a year older than him, drive him to the Bronx and look at me vacantly stare at my television while I fucking play Golden Eye. Like, you want to be this kid? Is this what you want, LeBron?

Oh, man. Look at those arms. You want to be that kid? So, like, that's, like, the final, like, shot of, and it's like shots fired against video games in this movie. Like, the final shot of the cold open is that Game Boy goes right in the garbage and we get this montage that starts with some fucking ESPN analyst or something going, LeBron James has an NBA body.

And then it's just this montage of I'm Awesome, the movie. Yep, totally drafted in 03, you know, success after, success after success. I mean, the funny thing, though, is, like, they put in the return to Cleveland. I mean, it's an important part of his legacy because he won the title, et cetera. Yeah, but then he fucking bailed again. Oh, yes, of course. I mean, that's, that is this legacy. It's like, you know, stop and start, dude, in and out. It's kind of funny, though, because, like, parts of me, when Don Cheadle's, like, trying to turn this child against LeBron James, I was like, I don't know, Don Cheadle, you're kind of making some good points because he's,

He's like, oh, yeah, Los Angeles, how long you think that's going to last. Basically, like, your dad's going to make you move, you little shit. It's true, though. I mean, I feel the same way. We'll see how it goes. Well, he'll probably stay on the Lakers so that he could be in more movie projects or whatever. Because I think he got a deal that was more than just space jam. Oh, I'm sure.

I mean, although this movie was poorly received, right? I'm not been correcting that. I think the thing is, Steve, you'll be surprised at how many people thought it was totally fine. Okay. And that this wasn't like a danger for artistic creativity on the whole. Got it. But I had fun with it. It was fun.

It's not the death knell of art as we know it. Fuck it. It was fun. I'd popcorn. If you feel that way, it's okay to like a movie. It's also okay to eat lead chips or whatever you want to do. it's all okay I mean to your point

about the montage and again Space Jam 1 expert Chris Cabot isn't with us I do remember there being a similar montage to let you know who Michael Jordan is

yeah I believe you're correct it's like his career up to this point so that's that's in bounds and I mean the first Space Jam is a self-suck to Michael Jordan I believe we said that

in our previous episode but boy howdy is it ever but this one's even worse though is the thing. A, the first space jam had the fucking good grace to be 89 minutes long or whatever it is. I think it's like 96 or something. Yeah. We are talking to almost two hours of a space jam. I couldn't believe it. I paused in an hour in and I was like, how is that possible? For no reason. I mean, I guess it's for the, again, the Looney Tunes don't show up until very late in the day.

When they do, it's about, you know, it's about getting the Looney Tunes back together and like, fucking around. All that stuff. stuff is just useless. It's, because it's not about the relationship with the use of the lunatics together. I mean, not that that would matter, but it's not about that either. No, it's not. I mean, it's weird, though, because, like, I feel like that would all be a little more successful if the movie decided whether or not it wants to actually acknowledge that there was another space jam movie.

Yes. And it sort of does, like, the little creatures from the first movie before they become monsterified, like, when they're just little guys, like, they're shown a couple of times in the end basketball game or whatever and we're kind of winking like all the looney tunes are like didn't we do this already but like if you use that for a story point somehow where it was like we beat those monsters with Michael Jordan's help and then like Bill Murray you know left us and you know we we went or something like I wish there was just something that connected it officially to the first movie I feel like they kind of do with Michael like oh I found Michael Jordan

or whatever yeah and it turns out to be Michael B. Jordan, who, by the way, should play in a Bill Murray like fashion in this game or something if you're putting him in like this. That's probably one of the most successful parts of the movie in terms of like comedy and like surprise. That's fine. And when they bring him in, you know, it's like,

oh, it's been 25 years. I just thought he aged gracefully or whatever. Yeah, I guess that's true. I think that's connective. Yeah. I guess specifically though, just to like why the Looney tunes and like Bugs Bunny like has some line because it's this weird thing where like I guess to explain this.

I mean, I don't know if we're getting ahead of ourselves here, but like this multiverse of Warner Brothers things is kind of set up like the game Mario Galaxy where you're Mario and you jump from like planet to planet and each planet is its own world, you know? Sure. I didn't play Mario Galaxy, but I'm following you so. But like that's what this is, right? It's like he jumps from one planet, which is like the Looney Tunes planet. And then there's Harry Potter planet

and Lord of the Rings planet. the Matrix planet. It's not Lord of the Rings planet. Oh, Game of Thrones, excuse me. Yes. Yes. Westeros. Complete with the bars around it. It is fucking obnoxious going through these worlds. I mean, I guess it's weird because like Warner Brothers, I mean, like Lord of the Rings was, what do you call it their new line, which is still Warner Brothers, right? Did they buy, did they get all of it or maybe not all of it? It's a great question. It's, I mean, no, it's, it's, it's, it is, it is Warner Brothers.

That is why I said it at first But I think But prominently in this movie Way more than L-O-T-R is Oh yes Oh boy No not about So much so

Doesn't even fog-horn leghorn say Winner is coming or something He sure does I mean like man you don't fucking release this movie Five years ago for those jokes No it is that is aging like a fucking grape In this movie dude Just it is getting neelier by the second

Those jokes But you know whatever Long story short, LeBron's two kids in their, like, insane L.A. mansion. Oh, don't you feel bad for them? Yeah, what a fucking hard life. Dad's making you play basketball. That's the weird part. In the first space jam, it was like, when they go to Michael Jordan's house, it was hilarious because it's just like a house. And it's like, no fucking way. Dude, it's the house from Roseanne.

But it's like, she was still in there eating Chinese food. Oh, hey, Michael. Oh, dude, if they replaced her with Michael Jordan and the Connors, that'd be something, right? Oh, my God, but they're just still calling them Roseanne or something. Yes, exactly, but no. But yeah, so they're in this big compound and, you know, it turns into he got game for a second. For a split second, yes. Because he's being like a real piece of shit dad, like the one son, also,

By the way, we should say that these are fictionalized versions of the fake family. Yes, it's not even the same names of the kids because his son, I believe his name is Brani, LeBron James Jr., will most likely make an NBA debut very shortly because he's supposedly that good. But I think that's what the older son is supposed to be. And then this middle son is like the video game kid that does he's got like he's designed his own video game on his own phone. What a trash child. Yeah, totally. Because there's no money in gaming, LeBron. You better fucking put this fire out immediately.

You know, to be fair, if I did have children, I would probably force them into podcast. Absolutely. You gotta fucking sit down behind that microphone right now. What do you like in movies? We hate movies in this house, your little piece I say. Oh, yeah, that episode was trash. Get your head in the game.

It's, but yeah, it's so like, so he's got, like, his one, I mean, that's the weird thing, too. It's like he's got this one son who is following at his footsteps, but cannot even bother to let this kid go his own way. Nope, nope, because the other kid, so Darius, I think, is the oldest fake kid. And then, yeah, Dom is this middle fake kid. And then there's a daughter.

He's probably revving her up for the WNBA also. Absolutely. My kids are going to play basketball. God damn it. And, you know, it's just like, dad, I don't want to go to this fucking basketball camp. And the older son's like, hey, you tell Dad, you're going to the E3 video game conference, which is the same weekend as the basketball camp

are supposed to go to? Let's be sure to plug E3. Yep. Everything should be a plug. I mean, why would you say something in a movie unless it was actually benefiting a corporate agreement you've made? Why bother? You know, Steve, you did mention,

and I mean, I guess technically, yes, LeBron is a better act than Michael Jordan but right around here boy oh boy there's some clunkers this like the first clunker of the movie and it's only like his second

or third line the whole damn thing he's like can't be great without putting in work I'm a robot like he's trying to like encourage the kids to like keep practicing and like his move that he's trying to show him and whatever the fuck it just seems like the coaching style there is just like do it do it better do it better

oh shit oh you're god damn mother made dinner now we have to stop playing my least i mean and again this is what this movie does it's all these subtle little like self-south because the movie itself again is a giant blowjub to lebron james but it's not enough because his son uh darius the older son goes behind him and starts making fun of him and lebron's like cut it out darius and the kid's like how did you see me and he's like you know i have full court vision darius you know i am the best i have eyes in the back of mine head. It is just like, I got it, dude.

I saw the montage. You're fantastic. Congratulations. And it's not, the funny thing about that, too, is like, boy, I would love to meet the person who went into this movie not knowing that LeBron James is an excellent basketball player. Well, you know, it's for the, you know,

when they pass this down through the eons, you know, the year 3,058. Yeah. That's, yeah, totally checks out. yeah oh but yeah just this come in for dinner you know I have a feeling that this the fake wife Camilla played by Sineke with Martin Green

like we mentioned she's not cooking anything this is the LeBron James compound there's a fucking chef team on hand this quaint little like guys dinner's ready fucking give me a break I would believe that if you were in the Michael Jordan Roseanne house

I think rich people have like replicators I think they actually exist and the idea that the idea that LeBron James eating spaghetti and meatballs in the last 30 years is a joke in it of itself

like I mean like maybe vegan spaghetti with like you know fucking I don't even know what something kind of you know vegan meatballs

but I love there's a bad joke about it's like a ball machine thing where if you say ball the ball comes and Darius keeps getting hit in the head because he's like

is mom making spaghetti and meat balls Oh, dumb, dumb. Hey, dad, stop breaking my balls. He's in the head. Hey, honey, step on my balls. And then the fucking, your outdoor basketball courts start going off and all the bells and whistles are ringing because you set in your house that you want your wife to step on your balls. Hey, dad, we have any more balls energy drink?

Punk, punk, punk, ball's energy drink. That's a name I haven't heard in a long time. Absolutely. Holy crow. Kind of get my hands on some balls, dude. For younger listeners, there was B-A-W-L. Was it an S or a Z? They weren't that radical that there was a Z.

The Z was in play, Eric. I'm glad you brought it up. It could have certainly been a Z. Absolutely. So they go in for dinner and then we cut to Don Cheadle Here he comes man Here he comes as Al G. Rhythm

Don Cheadle in a year gave one of my favorite performances in No Sudmove which is an amazing movie That is also on HBO Max by the way So they're right neck and neck Oh so was he in the background of the game later But overweight Brendan Fraser was He's just cheering on

I wish man that's a great movie. Fraser fucking rules in that movie. Everybody rules in that movie, by the way. A terrific, terrific, underseen film. But yes, I actually even think, and because again, I watch those Infinity Awards that I always feel like Cheatel is sleeping through,

walking through those. He really commits here. He tries to make this a movie. He does, and there's moments, especially, like, when he's yelling at this kid later, that, like, you definitely see, like, excellent Don Cheetle acting, but then, like, in a split second,

you're like, oh, fuck, I'm watching Space Chim, too. never mind. Exactly. I mean, he's not Danny DeVito level, obviously. The god, Danny DeVito, who played the bad guy in the first one, but that was just the voice. Yeah. But here he's, you know, he's doing it. I actually, you know what? Underused this weird little sidekick he's got. I found it cute and fun to look at. Oh, this, what do they call it, Pete or something? Yes, Pete. Now, I believe our absent colleague, Chris Cabin, referred to as Don Cheedle's anal bead friend, Pete. Yes, he did say that on the text chain. And that was. very delightful. He's not wrong either. You could smoothly shove this right up your ass. Oh, for sure. And he's

like an internet man, you know? Like the algorithm guy, of course anal beads would be part of that. We all have. Oh, yeah. And this is when the movie starts something that I find really annoying, which is, and again, huge self-slective to LeBron James. We're going to keep pointing it out. But everyone, and I mean everyone is calling him King James. in this movie, and it's so great. Was that a thing in the contract?

Like, I have to be referred to as King James, and no one can make eye contact. Not only your family. Why are the people playing my family? It's nuts. I mean, like, it's an annoying nickname in and of itself. I mean, Air Jordan is annoying, but at least it's not the fucking king of something.

You know what I mean? Like, it's fine. But the king, and then like literally, like, everyone's like, well, I don't know what King James is going to say about this. Where's King James? Hey, do you want to see King James today? Is King James having a sandwich? Yeah, Warner Brothers, we fucked up here.

We told you to get King James. We wanted the guy who wrote the Bible. We wanted the author of the Bible. You want the apostles? You want four apostles? Yeah, I mean, I guess because like, in the sports world, I mean, were you, like, in interviews, Colin Michael Jordan, Air Jordan?

No, it's just sort of something for posters. and fun stuff and maybe like in his darkest moments to be like you need to call me Eric Jordan but I don't imagine like people would be like Patrick Ewing and be like oh hey Aaron Jordan would you like

some more beer as we're drinking ourselves to death? No way are you calling your colleague by his sneaker name exactly like and it's fine to sell sneakers it's fine you know for posters for kids rooms etc etc that's all cool I'm not calling this guy King and I

think a missed opportunity would be funny and I thought this is where it was going Don Cheadle keeps calling him King James because he's a computer I'm like oh it would be humorous if Don Cheadle actually thought he was a king and then LeBron has to like be like no I'm just people just call me that sometimes it's a little embarrassing

nope not not on your life no you fucking get down on your knees and refer to me as King James you fucking AI computer thing that he 100% tries to fight in this movie at one point which is hilarious oh yeah Sarah Silverman I'm not coming to this meeting unless I referred to his

King James by Stephen Youde for some reason. Oh man, that was the saddest thing I've seen since Menaria. I believe the film is Minari, which yes, it's sad. It's still very good. I want to say that. I'm sorry I said it wrong. I wish that. I would like to watch that fucking grandmother burn down in LeBron James's house, teach him something.

Burned down that whole fucking compound dude, including that basketball court. So Don Cheadle, as we are. We learn because he's just talking to this AI guy who knows the story. So this is hilarious. And he's just like, ah, you know what, Pete? I'm sick and tired of being in and get ready for Don Cheadle attempting to say this as best he can. Serververse.

Oh, that's a tough one, dude. We're living in the server verse. So this, this, uh, this, this Al, uh, G rhythm here. You know, he, uh, wants to get out of the server verse. It sounds like you fucked up your, your, uh, on your radio, uh, the server verse. I'm trying to order in a fucking bad Wendy's drive-thru radio. What are you saying? You're saying

liver-vers? We don't sell that here. But I guess the idea is like he needs to partner with LeBron James to make this platform huge And I guess something, something And maybe I was reading a little too much into this And maybe it's because I watch Matrix Resurrection Which by the way is the good way to do What this movie thinks it's doing. Absolutely.

you know does he want to actually come out of this world into the real world is that something his ultimate goal I'm unclear on which is what you want in a movie from your antagonist I don't know weird it's like so he gets to keep King James there forever or whatever right if he wins so is that it just to have company it's a good question but you have all the things in the servers that you can socialize with yeah but you know if what's funny about like when they're playing the the basketball game if you really

watch the people in the background all the server versus residents you know like like fake agents from the matrix fake uh bob the goon i i spotted um yeah they're like a loop they're like repeat their reactions like every three or four or five seconds or something it's it's kind of distracting and then it's like can mr server verse uh engage with them or or not I think they're like some weird like NPCs kind of. It's weird. You're right, Eric. It is distracting on because they're so prominently, you can look

at them really clearly so they're not like out of focus. One that always catches my eye in the movie is Mr. Freeze, whomever is doing Arnold's Mr. Freeze. And like, you're right. He's reacting like in these huge, huge, cartoony ways

over and over like a street fighter background character. But it's at the same time like he's right next to Don Chitlin, he's a real person like he is. So it's like, wait, what? Can you just film the crowd for 15 minutes and then use all that? Yes. Yeah, exactly.

Also, I'm sorry. How are you giving fucking floor seats to Danny DeVito's penguin? The mop kid would be out there the whole game. The usher, he bit the nose off the usher. That's what happened. Well, you know what, Andrew? He wasn't invited, but he crashed. Excellent.

Yeah. So, like, he has, he, his wife, you know, he's going to bed in his enormous palatial mansion, his gorgeous wife. And she's like, you know, maybe you should stop bullying our son for not liking basketball so much, if you could. And he's like, well, how's he going to be great if he's not going to do the thing? And it's like, okay, the next day he goes to his son to apologize, see what's going on in his life. And you notice that this kid has invented something, a little fucking rich boy over here, invented, like, like a 3D scanner thing that scans things and puts them into his phone that he can put them into his own shitty little NBA jam game. Here's the thing, Steve. This kid is not

poor. No. This fake Dom James here. So it's totally possible that rich kid like super beyond rich kids like children of LeBron James have like little scanner devices that you can just hook into your

iPhone and record motion graphics for a video game character. I just want to put that out there because it could be a totally real device. Exactly. That we were just too poor to even know. Little rich boys are going to get mad at us and start commenting about how inaccurate we've been. No, no,

but he is the blessed seed of LeBron James Andrew. He invented this. They do go out of their way to be like, wow. Really? Wow, you are a genius because you invented this. Then here's the thing. First and foremost, drop all the basketball. If this kid invented this thing Drop all the basketball

This kid's never playing a sport again in his life He's a genius He's a little genius Like a little fucking doogie Houser Domy Houser there he is Yeah work out the muscle called the brain So he shows him the game And it is a very NBA jam-esque

With power-ups and silly stuff Yeah fucking start from scratch kid Ben there done that played it He's like LeBron James like wow This is a cool game I bet I could beat you at it Uh-oh I have a meeting at Warner Brothers to make it up for you, would you like to join me in Warner Brothers?

Because the game does crash, it breaks or whatever. Yes, because there's a specific move that he does, like over, over, crossover, whatever, that causes the game to break. And LeBron even tries to teach the kid that earlier in the movie. So it's a very important thing. It's a movie, folks. Is this a move that LeBron, like, came up with? I'll say, sure.

Or, like, he used that because, dude, it's like fucking. George Costanza man he's like, that's my move because he's playing the game he's like oh you put my move in the game I was like did you did you really invent I mean I don't know I guess it's a king move dude

I'm sure it's one of his moves that he's more known for if not maybe he even invented it dude by the way I'll give him that they pull into this Warner Brothers lot and dude you just right here you got posters for Scoob

a random it's a matrix poster of some kind you can't tell what movie it is. And then, boy, we just watch this. And I'm sorry for all the people out there that thought that I watched the Tom and Jerry movie because it was an episode for Worst of. No, that was just something that we decided to watch one night. And it was also quite abysmal.

I would actually say it's, what is worse? I can't tell you, to be honest. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, this or, wait. This or Tom and Jerry. I mean, Tom and Jerry might actually be worse for me. I don't know No, this is still worse They're both bad

They're both movies with cartoons Talking to live action people Yeah But again I cannot Get over the IP fucking vomit That's very true I would counter that it's actually

Something to look at I don't like Tom and Jerry Dude well the thing about the Tom and Jerry is like There is so much of that movie Without Tom or Jerry present Not at all. Yeah, they're not even there. You just got the dead eyes of Colin Jost.

Dude, him, Michael Pena being not great like he usually is. And what's her face? Chloe Grace Moretz is like the main character. I'll say this for LeBron James v. Colin Jost. At least LeBron James is an legendary basketball player on the side. He's got, yeah, he's got some kind of presence.

Yeah. Yes. yeah that's a that's a fucking household that is specifically hoping scarlet goes back to the MCU yeah uh keep paying those bills yeah so warner 3,000 I think oh yeah here's the algorithm and this is I got to tell you Sarah Silverman and Steve Yun like they bring Lefron James into this board meeting and they're like all right king James thanks for coming in today oh you brought your son I guess that's fine we'll find an extra chair didn't plan on that okay And they're like, now we let this AI pitch us this idea and create this whole presentation,

which we also will be hearing about for the first time right now. Let's get into it. It's like, oh my God, there's a split second shot. I think it's before he goes into his kid's bedroom to check out the video game, where you see Sarah Silverman sitting at a desk. And she's like, oh, a new message from the AI. It's another idea. And I'm like, all right.

So the movie, which is a Warner Brothers movie, is kind of trying to make a joke that its ideas all come from an algorithm. But like, yes, so it's not a joke. So it's, I guess it's supposed to be like a joker commentary and how movies are trash now because everyone's just chasing whatever, you know. Right, but that's what this is doing.

Exactly. It's kind of weird, right? Yeah, I was kind of flabbergasted this time around. And so we're also led to believe, I guess, Warner Brothers, Someone at Warner Brothers invented a life-altering AI? Yes, a sentient computer life that only can make up movie ideas. You can't bring shit from the Matrix world into the real world. You can't show me that Matrix planet, I guess we see in a moment. And it's just this movie, it's just it doesn't work on a fundamental level.

No, it does not. That's correct. And this is what we get fun, a fun, and here's the thing. It would be a fine montage if this was the only time we talked about Batman. If this is the only time we talked about the Matrix. If the only time we talked about Westeros and Game of Thrones. But they just keep coming back. So it's just one of many of the same fucking joke where it's fucking LeBron and he's on the fucking dragon now saying winter is coming.

LeBron of Thrones. And in like 10 minutes fucking Foghorn, Lego is going to put his fat ass on that dragon. It's like, okay, I got it. People ride the dragon. It's so funny because it's like, wow, they have no confidence in Westworld anymore. Yeah. Then we're just going back. Great boy.

Game of Thrones. Yeah. That's funny because I was about to make the observation that maybe Westworld was like a little too adults, but Game of Thrones is most certainly an adult show. I think it's a thing where it's like, you know, Game of Thrones was huge. Westworld is the exact opposite. huge for most people. A little sidebar here

because I was thinking about the Sopranos and actually both James Gandalfini, the last time he ever played Tony Soprano is a Lost Forever video clip that the New York Knicks arranged with him and Edie Falco to lure LeBron James

in like he went to one of these meetings and it was just it was Gandalfini and apparently Gandalfini had to do stuff like this a lot or enough where he didn't like it But this was the one where he was like way into it. He was like, we got to get LeBron James to come to the Knicks kind of a thing. And it's just like, it's just like, oh yeah, forget about it.

LeBron James. Like I wish I would pay any money to see this. I mean, in the era where, and correct me if I'm wrong here, Steve. I could have my years off though. But like when we, you know, I was obsessively listening to ESPN New York radio at nights. there was a show called the LeBron watch where it was just talking about whether or not LeBron was going to come to the Knicks

and I feel like 08 that was right before the decision okay so that means wouldn't Tony Soprano be a fucking Nets fan weren't the Nets still in Jersey in 08 yeah but at the same time you know maybe like he just knew what are the Nets ever done now

let's be honest let's be fair everyone in New Jersey you know, they root for New York because they wish they were New York, right? Come on. Don't tell that to a fucking Jersey Devils fan, dude, they're fucking rip your throat out. Well, you know, they'd have to catch me.

Where is there a stadium again? The Devils? Where are the Devils play? Exactly. Thank you. The Rock, the Prudential Center. I don't know if that's still where they play. Anyway, all of this doesn't matter. He's, yeah, so he's like non-plus by the whole thing.

Sorry, but two New York football teams play in New Jersey. I just want to throw that. Also true. Well, it's why we're the Empire State, dude, because our reach expands beyond our borders. That's what we should call it a province. Just annex it, dude. Absolutely. Yeah, that's true. Just give us the Meadowlands. That's, or we'll come take it from it.

Didn't they? They stole Ellis Island, not Ellis Island, the Statue of Liberty from New York, didn't they? I believe it is now. I don't know where that is. They stole it, dude. I think they moved the island a few feet and said, this is New Jersey, man. Dude, that's fucking some island-related gerrymandering right there. A bunch of waste management jersey guys

in tugboats and garbage barges push that fucking island a little over over. Yeah, it's only got to go a foot. It robbed us of our best license plate in the state of New York. It did. It did. Oh, fuck.

So, yeah. So, yeah, he's just going through. It's like, LeBron as Mr. Freeze, that's sort of something. LeBron ride the dragon He's got a line Though he's got a line Where he's Because he's like listen

This is terrible I think this is a bad idea And he goes Athletes acting It never goes well And like looks at the camera And I was like Holy shit

What did I get myself into Yeah that'd be great If I'd have fucking 70 90 minutes left in this film By the way Totally Yeah so he

He just says, and like, the kid is like, I think it's really cool, dad. And he's like, why don't I bring this fucking kid in his fucking meeting? Shut up! Shut up, Brody! It's amazing where like the kid could be like, this is really great, dad. I think it's a cool idea. And then just like, on a dime, LeBron is like, this idea is straight up bad. It's among the worst ideas I've ever heard.

Top five easy, he says. He also says the algorithm is busted. Oh, yeah. And that makes algae rhythm pretty upset here. Yeah, there's a fucking security camera in the corner of this office and we see it and then it leads us to learn that

Cheatel's algorithm is like watching the meeting like on the security camera and he's getting fucking furious that LeBron's breaking his balls which is pretty funny. And like it's fun to watch Steve Ewan and Sarah Silverman like turning the algorithm on a drop of a dime

they're just a bunch of suits. They're like oh no of course and it's trash. That's the worst thing we ever came up with, et cetera, et cetera. Like, and just getting any acting from somebody that's not a, not LeBron James or a fucking Lutitude is like a breath of fresh air in this film. Silverman's got a funny line here. She's like, like, they're just like, they start the two of them, like, she's like, you're right, LeBron.

That is terrible. It's so bad. The two of them like turn. And she yells at the TV screen. And she's like, you're canceled algorithm. Yes, it's pretty humorous. By the way, with the name of Algae Rhythm. And with HBO being under the umbrella, I was waiting for a Da Ali G rhythm to happen.

Oh, yeah. I bet Sasha Baron-Cohens got enough shit in his contract where it's like, you're not going to use that for anything. But man, I know it comes up like in a few minutes, but like the Austin Powers thing. And then we get, because obviously mini me is long dead. We have Elmer Fudd in that role. Oh, that's. And it's like if we're grave robin to this degree,

I was like, well, by the end of this, I'll see to Allie G. Rhythm. Or why don't we see those four horny sex in the city ladies want to bang LeBron James? Absolutely. They should be at least on the sidelines like pulling an Ornania club or something. Oh, yes, the greatest piece of IP that Vonder brothers ever said no to the Ornania Club. I pushed for the Ornaniac Club to be a part of Space Jam, a new legacy, and they said no.

If there's any new listeners out there that don't know what this is, Tom Six, the director of the Human Centipede, made a movie called the Ornania Club that is still not released, wherein, what, rich old white ladies jerk, you know, masturbate to, like, 9-11 and other horrors. Yeah, they watch, like, you know, those, like, for a dime a day, you could feed a village, and they're, like, fucking furiously masturbate. Which I understand it's pretty similar to sex in the city. I understand that as well. I think that's how that comes. That's what I heard anyway. I heard Mr. Big died, whoever that is. And I'm sure, you know, that was an exciting day.

Yeah, so the kid runs out and he's like, fuck you, dad. I hate all of this. And he runs into the big server room. LeBron's like chasing after him. And there's like a big computery looking whatever the fuck. And the kid walks towards it and gets. sucked through a portal or whatever and LeBron like

barely can react in any way except like run up and be like dumb, where are you? Yes. This is another problem with this movie. It's like yes, you cast an athlete who obviously they make the joke about athletes and acting but then you give them nothing

to act against. It's kind of tough. It is and it's also tough because it's like the emotional arc of space the original spaceship is so low stakes. It's like, yeah, does Michael Jordan want to help out the Looney Tunes? Everybody wants to help out the Looney Tunes. Like, those are the stakes. It's not like, I need to get my son back. I want my son to love me again. Like, that's too much. It's just too much for LeBron

James, that actor. Way too much. Like, if he's just, if it's an IP fart bonanza and it's just a fun game of basketball or whatever. Or maybe he brings in other NBA players or whatever, you know, I'm fine with it. It's fun or whatever. I don't know. Maybe not. But, But it's so much better than this family horse shit. No. Because he just can't pull it off. And I mean, it's not his fault. He should be working on his fucking three-pointer.

You know what I mean? He's not trying to cry on camera. Are you suggesting he needs to work on that? No, he does okay. He's the king. That's true. He is the king, Eric. I apologize.

He's the best three-pointers in the business. But that's what's, it's totally insane about this movie, right? Because, like, yeah, I'm going because the first space jam is like, Roger Rabbit meets basketball and sure. I like Michael Jordan. I like the Looney Tunes. Let's do it. I'm going to go to the movies. And that's really pretty much all it is. Aside from, am I remembering

this wrong? Is, didn't the movie come out when he had like just, was the baseball stuff going on? Yes. It's just ended. Yeah, it's in the movie. I think it's what he just was coming back to basketball. So like the movie, the movie has both of it. Has his baseball.

It takes place during his baseball hiatus. And then like, I think the idea is in the movie he decides to go back to basketball. Right. So it's like all on him or whatever. Instead in this movie where it's like, and Chelsea made this reference and I think it's totally apt. This movie is structured exactly like the film Hook. It is. It is. Right. And like algae rhythm is Captain Hook. And, you know, this little kid, Dom is the, you know, Peter Pan's two kids from that movie.

And LeBron, I guess then is Robin Williams in this analogy. But it's just like, I don't need, that much emotional weight in a movie called Space Jam A New Legacy. Nope, definitely. I just, I just don't. I need to see cartoons play basketball. No, no, I need to see a rich guy reunited with his son. He could just buy another kid. It's so fucked up.

What does it matter? It's true. They're cheap. So LeBron goes, what in the Matrix hell? No, does he ever? He does indeedly do, man. And he gets fucking sucked in. of this thing and then like

he sees the sun and they're in like a you know this actually reminded me of and I feel like I've brought this up on the show over the years a couple of times and you can't stream it anywhere so I can't be proven right that this exists but I believe there's an episode of the Muppet Babies where they go inside

Scooter's computer for some reason and that's what this reminded me of like they're just inside the interface the AI whatever there's just a bunch of computer shit everywhere and you know it's a lot of like, you know, we're in the computer. LeBron awful delivery once again.

Oh, fucking off. Total fucking airball with that delivery, LeBron. And how many takes do you think? Ooh, three tops, dude. And it's kind of humorous. You know, Don Cheadle shows up and he's taller than LeBron James at first. I'm like, oh, that's a funny joke. You know what I mean?

And like, but he shows up doing a Wizard of Oz entry because, you know, we own that. We got to make that fucking joke. Yes, he does that. And then he's like, oh, that's a funny joke. Oh, LeBron James, I thought you'd be taller. And then immediately he makes himself shorter, which wouldn't make sense that this algorithm wouldn't just be tall forever, except for LeBron's a bit now.

He's got to be shorter than that. Well, I think you know what also some of this is, dude? Speaking to LOTR, they were like, you know what? We don't want to pay to fucking band off taking this whole movie. Yeah, that's a good point, too. There is a good line here. And, you know, it's the year of 2022. And I started this last year also, like, you know,

really try my best to give credit where credits do. LeBron does have a really good line here when Cheatel explains like what he is or whatever Lebron leans over to the kid and he goes The computer's black? Yes, I enjoyed that as well. There's a couple of lines that made me chuckle.

That one was one of them as well. I didn't not not laugh during parts of this movie. But again, it's the fucking eye penis of it all. Like that's just poison. I penis. I penis. New from Apple.

Oh man, the eyepinus. Dude, yeah, it's a fucking, what is it? It's like, it's a penis pump and it hooks up to your phone. Oh, absolutely. I would like that. Charge this fucker up for once. With an eye penis, you couldn't get anybody pregnant because no would be compatible with you. You know what I mean? The holes wouldn't work.

Anyway, so this whole, this sets up to like, if you lose in this basketball game, they're going to set up, you have to stay in the server verse. And I'm like, how does that? work? Are they gonna, he's gonna feed his body like the Matrix, like plug him up into something? Because that's true, man. Where are the nutrients coming from? Right. Like, he has to exist corporely

in the real world, but I guess it's kind of Tron where your whole body is sent into the machine. Yes, I think it's more Tron than not, yes. Okay. Interesting. And, but Tron's owned by Disney, I think. So that's, you know, you're never going to see that here. Well, that'd be so funny. Better movie, by the way.

That's the one thing. Oh, yeah. That's sort of humorous is he's like, you know, you have 24 hours to assemble your team and then beat my team and by the way I stole your son and he's like that's really shitty and he's like hey

oh and he's going to play against you to you know end your life permanently because you were such a fucking shithead father it would be great if this was like the end of he got gay but he's really fucking hard checking this kid oh yeah just like fucking elbow into his

into his ribs you kind of need Denzel Washington in this movie. In some capacity or another. We do quote them, right, with the King Kong. Yes, yes, we do. And we'll get there. I fucking screamed in my own home just like I screamed in my own

home just now. I love so it's like, go assemble your team. It'd be funny. I was like, all right, so who do I want? Is Warner Brothers right? All right, so I want Iron Man, Captain Kirk. And it's like, no, no. It's Warner Brothers. Everyone knows the classic character. of Warner Brothers.

Okay. Right, right, right. So Jason Voorhees. Luke Skywalker for sure. Gotta have that guy. Definitely want that guy. Indiana Jones. That guy was a hero.

I mean, I think the thing would be to find out which company owns like blue chips. Oh, definitely. Like what like what basketball movies has Warner Brothers put out? Because that's what you would do, right? That's a really good point. I want to find that out right now. And that's kind of what LeBron wants to do, right? So his whole thing is like, Cheeto tells him, he's like,

all right, you can fly around to all these Mario Galaxy-esque worlds and you can recruit whoever you want from the Warner Brothers universe or these serverers. And then they don't do that. They don't do it at all. But so he starts like flying through the world. And this is really where I start fucking vomiting. Because like he's flying through.

And this is where you see all the planets. And it's like Harry Potter planet. Westero's and dude you get fucking Casablanca planet Casablanca one of the hardest planets to get off of you need letters of transit to leave and so he gets to

oh here comes Looney Tunes planet and he falls through the ground and the fucking whole imprint is a Nike swoosh my God that's that's what really bugged me I'm like dude stop you know what? Just stop triple dipping you know what I mean?

You're getting paid to be in the movie. You're getting paid to produce the movie. You're getting paid to fucking all this, all this. You're getting paid every which way but loose. Do not cash in on your fucking sneakers as well. Please. But it was so funny because for a second,

I was like, does Warner Brothers own Nike? You know, when they go to the planet Casablanca to get Yosemite Sam of all people, who's obviously playing the piano. Yeah. Which is tough. you know what

that guy he's going to suck get Ingrid Bergman on the Exactly or get bogey dude Bogie in the paint Oh totally dude yeah I tried to fucking do a layup But there was so much cigarette smoke everywhere Now we couldn't see bogey

Because the king had to wear his costume Of course that's the cool part When we're getting the band back together But before that he's got a meatbugs bunny So here he is And you see a sign and it's like Looney Tunes world population one and you're like oh what's going on and Bugs Bunny man oh man he's just like aren't you LeBron James? I'm like oh okay dude you know what you should go send that clip to Warner Brothers and you should get cast as Bugs Bunny because that is so much better than what this fucking thing is doing I couldn't believe it and this guy apparently voiced Bugs Bunny and Grimlins 2 which I remember and Daffy Duck which I remember being pretty good did you just get too old to do the voice because this does not sound like him.

I think that's what's going on. Yeah, but Bugs is like, Hey, why? That's exactly. The dude, Jeff. Yeah, they met him down at the Vogue's buddy.

What's up, Jack? Yeah, they met him down at the VFW hall. Yeah, dudes. Oh,

Jeff Bergman is the fella's name. Born 1960. Okay. So he's a little bit of that. You got an older fella. doing these voices but it's just it's not there and it's most of these voices are

terrible. Really bad. It's really bad. Oh, this is interesting. According to the IMDB, even though Jeff Bergman has also voiced Daffy Duck, he does not in this movie. Another guy Eric Bazoo voices Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Fog, Leghorn, Elmer Fudd, and Marvin

the Martian. He does an okay job on most of those, I guess, but Marvin the Martian is terrible. Marvin the Marshal is really bad. And I mean, like, that's the thing. It's like, what the fuck am I watching the Looney Tunes for if they don't sound like the goddamn looney Tunes? Yep, exactly. Yeah, Eric, Eric Bousa is, he's like kind of a big deal voice actor.

Not kind of. I'm sure, yeah. He's been a ton of shit. But then you just have like these weird, well, of course, Fred Tattasior, whatever that guy's. He's another big voice actor dude. He just is solely doing the Tasmanian devil. Oh. But, like, there's weird stuff floating around in this movie, man.

Like, he got Rosario Dawson does Wonder Woman and Gabriel Iglesias, the comedian, is voicing Speedy Gonzalez. And then you have the biggest one of them all, which I still don't understand. And the actress actually, whomever has done Lola Bunny up to this point because, you know, she's introduced in Space Jam and has always been Lola Bumini. I can look that up at a second. Recorded the whole thing. And then they're like, ah, fuck it.

Get Zendaya. and it's like, oh, she did the whole thing and then got cut? According to IMDB, yes, for unknown reasons, they redid it with Zendaya, and I do agree with unknown reasons. Not that she's even bad, but it's like, I don't know, why is it Zendaya? You know what I mean?

Like, yeah, well, because you need another name on the poster. That's true, and they were buddies from like 10 lines in this movie. Mr. Stark, my girlfriend's in Space Jam, a new legacy. Oh my God, Mr. Stark, it's less

than 10 lines she wasted her time wait so wait so you're saying Steve though that you were about to say Zendaya and LeBron are old friends from what from that Zendaya's Beachy movie Littlefoot I think it's called Big Bart the animated series Yes no I don't know there was some stupid

fucking movie animated right yes it was an animated movie where he did a voice and she did a voice Oh absolutely no clue I'm going through the IMD BN. I was, yeah, small foot. You're right. 2018 small foot.

Katz Sousie had been set to reprise her role as Lillabunny and had all of her dialogue recorded. But for unknown reasons, she was replaced by Zendaya during late post-production. Question mark, why, what, why? Like, at least it would have like that. It would have the continuity. And now you have like Zendaya, again, a totally fine actress.

I think she's, you know, she's good in those Spider-Man movies. I haven't seen her in a tonne else. I'm not watching Euphoria because I think people would be weirded out if I did. Yeah, dude, that's a thing. If you start watching that, which I've like considered dabbling into,

you can't tell anymore. It's just like, an almost 40-year-old man watching before you? Yeah, no thing. Exactly. Dude, you fucking pervert. Steve Sadek, you pervert. I mean, she is in Dune, which is our

WL-L-L-M. I mean, absolutely. She's going to have a bigger role in the sequel, I feel. But, yeah, big time. Dune is our, we love movies episode. this month on our Patreon. Patreon.com slash we hate movies.

We'll be doing a full episode on the new Dune film. I'll tell you what she's in that I will never fucking watch because it is supposed to be terrible and I do not got time for it. Is that Malcolm and Marie movie? Well, yeah, I skipped. With her and John David. Oh, right. Yeah, COVID movie. No thanks.

Yeah, that is a thanks, but no thanks. But she's not that creative of a voice actress. And like, you know what I mean? Doesn't have the chops that this other lady had. You know what I mean? And stop fucking. And look, I think it's actually quite galling to have this. I'm sure she got paid. But like let this woman have,

she's Lola Bunny. She's always been Lola Bunny. Let her be Lola fucking Bunny. Even if even if you are going in another direction, I don't know, a voice actress. Yes. I hate the trend of just like,

well, you know, we're doing an animated movie. So Jim from the office, James Corden, LeBron James and Die. Of course, there you go. I mean, who in the world is looking at the Space Jam poster? and it doesn't have Zendaya's name on it

is like, I don't want to see that movie. And then you're like, you know, Zendaya's in it in a voice role. It's for the pervents. Now I'm going to go see it. It's for the perverts watching Euphoria. I guess that's a thing, right? Because here's a thing, right?

You, because them same perverts, a lot of those guys, they're also jerking off to Lola Bunny. Because they're furious, they got rid of her tits or something. That's a big deal. But so, yeah, for some reason, yada, yada, yada. All the Looney Tunes left for other opportunities, and Bugs is alone

like the fucking night at the end of Indiana Jones in the last crusade just like holding on to the Looney Tunes planet I suppose There is kind of There's a funny thing

I gotta say Like it was When you When they let some like real feeling Looney Tunes jokes Rip in this movie A lot of them worked for me Or a decent amount

I really appreciate the They're like in Bugs Bunny's house and he's like, yeah, over here, ask my friend Porky Pigg. Oh, yes. It's a fucking pile of pumpkins with a face drawn on one of them reading a newspaper. I was laughing. And then I was laughing. And LeBron's like, that's just a pile of pumpkins and then it's, you know, the thing falls over. It's humorous. Yes. Oh, apparently by the way, I just found it in my notes.

Al J. Rhythm was who he lied to the tunes and convinced them to go off planet for like better opportunities. There's like a shot of them walking into a spaceship to leave forever. It's kind of Yeah, it's like, uh, close encounters. But what are they and what do they do? Like we see

I guess, uh, what was it? We see Daffy's in the superman land or whatever the fuck. Yeah. I mean, that's the big, the big like, you know, getting the band back together montage tells us everything that's happening. I mean, as far as what is it? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I guess they're all like LARPing. I just want to see these opportunities.

I guess Yosemite Sam playing the piano and Casablanca Planet. Is that really better than being a cowpoke back on Plutin Tunes Planet? Exactly. Take the role from the only black guy in the movie, dude. That's pretty rude. Good old Dooley Wilson, man. Unbelievable. Yeah.

What's great about this part of the movie is LeBron James is a cartoon from now until the basketball game, which is very clearly like a, hey, you've got me for two months. That's going to take three. I will do these on the weekend. I'll do these voice performance on the weekend kind of a thing. Yeah. Why else would he be a cartoon in all these worlds that are not cartoons, et cetera, et cetera? Well, there's an interesting thing that happens, like when they get to the game where algae rhythm makes him flesh again.

And in doing so, he makes all the tunes flesh. and I feel like there should be some type of existential dilemma about suddenly having flesh. Oh, for sure. It's got to be weird as fuck to be a cartoon guy and then suddenly have a big fucking doughy midsection or whatever.

By the way, Steve, just in looking at some of the stuff I was jotting down here, that's not entirely true. Oh, really? Because when they go to God fucking damn it, the Mad Max Fury Road world he's a real-life person

I'm sorry that I missed that part But I think But your point still more or less stands though Because you're right The vast majority is him as a cartoon character Yes Doing the voice I think there is totally something to that

So he's like He says to Bugs Bunny like Hey man there's some This algae rhythm guy If I can kid He challenged me to a basketball came I gotta get a team together This is where Bugs Bunny does reference

He's like gee that plot sounds familiar And you're like Okay, just keep going. And he gets drunk off of carrot juice. Dude, this is something I have to give this movie. I was stunned that we had cartoons getting loaded and Yosemite Sam having firearms. I was totally surprised that that happened. Yosemite Sam's going to storm the capital.

Because wasn't that a thing with like whatever this latest like Warner Brothers iteration? There's a new Looney Tunes thing that's out now on HBO or what? HBO Max and it's neutered it is in that way like I think there's a thing where he does like Yosemite Sam doesn't go around firing guns anymore and I think that's a thing I think that's true I also know for

a fact that they shot they had a scene with the first director of this movie by the way and there's like nine screenwriters in this film and you can feel them all that they shot a it was actually what you might call it was Pippila Pew and Casablanca and they were like nah

we can't have that guy because he's too rapy and that everyone in the internet got really upset about. Wasn't there like a, now maybe I'm misremembering stuff, but there was like a deleted scene or a trivia, maybe it was a rumor going around that in the movie, or maybe it was a joke I read that I was like, this is real that LeBron teaches Peppi Lapew about like consent.

I recall that being said. I don't know if it was in a joking fashion or in a, we're doing this, but then they deleted it after all kind of thing. but I totally remember what you're talking about. Hey, she just put her glass down. Leave it alone, Peppa Lepew. No, I do whatever I want.

You've never met this woman before, Pepe. There's no reason to greet her with a kiss on the lips. Unless you are the governor of New York State. Oh, yes. Dude, that said that kid. They got to the fucking server verse. Well, see, now, if Pepe Lepew was Italian, American, that's just how they talk.

You know, that's just how you give them a little old. little tukas pump there you go oh wow the computer's italian and then uh the mask so much the mask can tell the difference between him and the actual villain from the mask also in the server's also at the game later guys oh fucking floor seats you better believe it if i was you know i know i know he's very loony tunes as but the mask might be a good person to play basketball with?

Absolutely. Totally. I was just going to say, does he not kind of do something with a basketball in that movie at one point or no? I think he just stretches this shit around. Yeah, all right. Well, you're right, though. I mean, he'd be excellent on the court.

Yeah. Guy can turn himself into a fucking tornado. You got two people on your team that can turn themselves into tornadoes, him, the Tasmanian devil. Unstoppable defense, guaranteed. And, you know, so now he's just going around. Yeah, we go to Casablanca Land. we talked about we talked a little bit about

the fucking Fury Road like what kid in I mean again this is a movie clearly for children no adult I mean adults can watch whatever they want but this is movie a movie for children what kid is even half getting this reference I don't know man the kids

with like the weird parents that are like watch whatever yeah I think there's a lot of those okay yeah I was one of those too yeah I suppose yeah same but yeah that's it's just awful and like, man, the, there was something about Wiley Coyote spraying the silver shit on his mouth that, like, I almost vomited.

I could watch Nicholas Holt do it day in and day out in that movie and not feel a thing. Something about a cartoon spraying themselves with silver paint. It's also like, it's about huffing. It's a huffing joke with Wiley fucking Coyote. We're getting high and we're going to hell tonight, dude. That's what I felt watching this movie, by the way. feel every fucking day in this hellscape we live in.

They do go, the biggest one, the biggest, like, the only one that really has more than like 30 seconds of screen time is the DC world where Bugs is Batman and LeBron is Robin and like, I don't know, here's

my beef about this, because they kind of do it later with another segment, but like, I really wish they changed all of the animation style to be the style of both Batman and or Superman the animated series, like that kind of shit. That kind of stuff would at least be

something. It would be interesting to see like the interpretation of Bugs Bunny in a different style or whatever. Or maybe Bugs stays the same but LeBron doesn't. Something needs to change. You're totally right. I mean, especially it's a really specific animation style. We're really playing with it. By the way, the

Robin thing is a nod to basketball heads because when he went to Miami, it was like, who's Batman and who's Robin? Here we're Dwayne. that's why LeBron's like, I'm Robin, so some dad is pissing his fucking dad pants in the I forgot about that. Dad's with dad pants. Those idiots.

And in this is Daffy is doing super duck. And there's a thing, boy, oh boy, talking about these movies for kids. He's doing super duck. And I guess Porky Pig is kind of supposed to be Jimmy Olson. Maybe like he kind of looks like he's dressed like a press person and he's got like a tweed jacket on or whatever. But he's filming all of, like, Daffy Ducks exploits as Super Duck or whatever. And, dude, the side of this camera just says, Porky Vision. What are you also filming in Porky Vision, my friend?

This crime spree was the best idea we ever had. Helper, helper, helper. The funny thing in here that I thought was kind of great was they do, so they round up Daffy and Porky right here but then the rest of like the animated Justice League is like no we're not going to help you with a basketball game and then yeah they go off we have

yes Elmer Fudd is revealed to be mini-meat and here's the thing we're using footage. Oh yeah from this fucking second Austin Powers movie you better believe it. The second Austin Powers movie I mean dude why

and and Sylvester the cat has been shaved to be Dr. Evil's like a hairless cat that he has I mean it's it's it's a bad idea and if you're doing this if you're committing to like we're going to get these characters

in other IP I bring fucking Mike Myers back as Dr. Evil for a second you could yeah yeah either do it or don't do it like film him being like why is my cat a cartoon or whatever you know what I mean or like he sees LeBron and bugs

and he's like now who are you supposed to be like anything yeah because otherwise if you're just if you're just making these cartoons

run through clips of other movies to bring it back to a show I already referenced that's fucking Muppet Babies did it takes so long

and like the joke is LeBron keeps being like do we really need these people to win a basketball game and like one way to put it would be like yes we want a fucking basketball game

you know 25 years ago it's called fucking Space Jam ever heard of it Like, that's, that's why, that's why I, that's exactly why I was bringing up the point of I wish they really super confirmed that this first movie happened by referencing it in that way, right? Where Bugs is like, I understand you want to get, you know, these big huge dudes and whatever else. But really, we fucking did this, a nigh on 30 years ago. How about this?

Go super meta with it. Go into the original space jam movie, also part of Warner Brothers property. And pull out the fucking Mons Stars to play for you. That would be something. Dude, because that's what we love, right? That's what we fucking love nowadays is a reformed villain. We do. Right?

Look at that Spider-Man movie, this potentially with this Boba-Fet nonsense, right? To get them little monsters and jack them juice them all up again, and it's like, but we've been seeing a therapist. Now we're good guys. Yay. People would love it. And you know what, honestly, I think it would be better than some of the shit we see here. Oh, you mean like Rick and Morty dropping off the Tasmanian devil?

Yeah, I. All right. Foghorn, Foghorn leghorn and GOT. And then dude. What winter is coming, everybody? Did I say that enough in this film?

Goodbye. And he's dude. He's wearing a fucking Calisi wig too. Oh, but then better actors than Amelia Clark. I'll be honest with you. Here it is, though, the one that I feel like it's crossing,

it's rewiring. brains, man. Grandma or Granny there and Speedy Gonzalez in the Matrix and you're looking at Granny's juicy ass and the leather trinity. That fucking little grampy plump bottom. You know, that's good for us. I'm glad we got there because I have another one coming up, another psychosexual awakening for children. But this is a good one as well. You could like, she could take her teeth out and I could use them on her butt. I'm biting my own ass. There we go.

Now we're talking. She even does like the Trinity, like one leg split landing thing. I'm telling you. It's fucking sucks. This is the worst part of the movie. It's terrible, but it was opening some eyes. Well, it's kind of funny that two movies recreated that scene in the same year. One much better.

Yeah. One had the right to do it. Yes. Yes, exactly. One had Matrix in the title. I kind of feel. I kind of feel like Lana Wachowski might have written what he called their Matrix Resurrections in response to them being like, hey, we're going to put your stupid movie in Space Jam no matter what. You can't say shit about it.

Yeah, maybe. Thank you're right. Because she's just like, because so much of that movie is critical of corporate cannibalism, et cetera, et cetera. And both of these films almost have a very similar boardroom scene. Yes, exactly. Right. And one's got its head screwed on straight. The other one doesn't.

that's right so yeah we get Granny's juicy Matrix ass this is really something dude but then I'll tell I'll tell you what and I don't know if this

was like a deleted scene or like wherever he was was too controversial to show but like they're getting everybody back in the spaceship and all of a sudden the big red monster is there

but they don't see what that guy's been up to I read here we go he's a Texas Texas chainsaw mask right no I don't do that's one of them that would be fucking

great. It would have amazing. With an apron on? Absolutely. What's that guy's name, Steve? Oh, I don't think I, it's, I think it's a gossamer, I want to say. That sounds right.

He is from the Marvin the Martian shorts. He was sort of like Marvin's antagonist or no. He's a separate thing where Bugs Bunny goes to a haunted mansion and he's just a monster in that manster. Was that part of the double

Bill with the Daffy Duk Detective Agency? I think he's definitely in that feature as well. Crack, crack busters? I believe he's in crackerbusters. Got it, okay. Quackbusters is better film than Space Ship and New Ledge.

Absolutely. Absolutely. Yes, but no, so, yeah, but I read on IMDB at least in the graphic novelization of this film, Gossamer is, and this is the scene that I would have even enjoyed is Gossamer is with the Scooby-Doo gang. like he's one of the monsters perfect that that's that's a thing

and you know what that's fucking two cartoons talking at each other there you go god damn it here's the thing that's great I don't remember what he gets spit out of but the Tweety Bird reveal where he's just like covered and goo and his first line of the movies

he just goes what year is this oh so is this a Twin Peaks thing I don't because does it do either of you remember like what does he get spit out of what happens here? I think it stepped on in the Matrix averse, I want to say. I have no idea. I wrote down that he was spit out, but I honestly, I don't think I even saw

the orifice it came out of. Say it, Doc. He sure got great pie here in Twin Peaks. What about any carrot cake? Oh, so then, you know, Bugs Bunny's like, all right, so by the way, LeBron James, I'm not telling you that we did all this 25 years ago and we're quite successful at if I do say so myself,

but we need to get the one real ball player in all of the server and here comes Lola Bunny and she is in the Wonder Woman world which like, why wasn't this also part of the DC?

Great question. Because we go through Aquaman shit in the DC world as well. So you would think it's the same shit but no, it's not. Yeah. And this is an animated version of Wonder Woman.

Apparently Rosario Dawson did do the voice. for some animated movie, one of those DC fake movies? Yeah, there's a couple of those Wonder Woman movies on there, and I think I may have watched one of them, but that's what was really annoying to me

after getting so pissed off about the Batman stuff because they do alter the animation style of the sequence. Yes, it's a different kind of... So, fucking pick one, you morons. And she's do it, Lola Bunny's doing a trial to become an Amazon, and in the midst of... Doesn't have the height for it, first of all. No, not at all.

And she winds up saving the... John James and saying that I will save your son and Wonder Woman's like you know what you are on Amazon that's meaningless goodbye movie whatever dude I think is is it not Bugs Bunny who says to her basketball is

who you are Lola yes I think he does and I guess it's not terribly inaccurate if only for the fact that right Steve you already mentioned this she was invented for that first space jam movie is that correct her and her rocket tits were invented for that movie

but they stole it from us. They stole it from us. No, they stole it from us, guys. I can't jack off to Lola Bunny anymore in my fucking mom's house. I mean, technically you still can. It's just not the new version. By the way.

I don't want to get them. Smaller breasted ladies. Smaller breast and rabbit ladies. There's nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that. I say, why did you try just give me a little eight cup rabbit? I would get fur off of that. Eight cup rabbit.

I mean, the sad thing is it's true. I have to now stand up for A cup rabbits because you Looney Tunes are making me think about cup size. That's right. Specifically rabbit cup size. Now, the other thing is, I think in here in this Wonder Woman sequence, does she not kind of make a Game of Thrones reference here? Does she possibly?

Because she says it's something to the effect of like, good luck lola bunny go and win your battle of the baskets oh yeah i guess so battle of the battle of the bastards oh yeah that's sort of something unless battle of the baskets is a thing that fans of basketball use but i've never heard you know who's at the game though is the night king oh he sure is and dude that guy and we've said this on text as well who the blue guy yes he looks like the porno parody version it is so cheap it is dude they are all porno parodies, every last one of them. That's what these people are.

I mean, did you look at that guy playing the fucking Caesar Romero Joker? Yeah. Porno parody. Absolutely. That Danny DeVito Penguin, porno parody. I would rather watch the porn parody. Yeah. Then Space Jam, a new legacy? Absolutely. Yeah.

At least there's interesting stuff to fucking peer at. So, LeBron is trying to teach the lunatunes how to play basketball. but they don't this is sort of something that his character if he has a character is he takes everything too seriously and nobody's allowed to have fun right yeah yeah yeah so he's a bad coach just like he's a bad father meanwhile in the real world malic is looking for lebron james and his wife he's like his agent or something yes he's supposed to be like rich paul like a childhood friend that winds up being his agent kind of a thing got it okay uh but like and they

wind up going the kids the rest of the family gets sucked into the server verse but not malik right um and so oh also like yeah so the speaking on like the hookness of it all don chieel is basically like grooming this child to hate his father even more than he kind of already does you know and he's like uh you know he's pumping this kids of like basketball skills up you know and uh he's like don't you want to make your dad respect you uh you uh maybe him see that you are special, you know? And like, I guess the whole thing is like, because they're all in a computer.

Cheatel's got like, you know, character upgrade abilities or whatever. So this kid's like, do it. Upgrade me. And he gets all like, yes, basketball superpowers basically. And well,

it's kind of funny. It's like he's doing a creative character thing. And it's like, he sets his handle to 70 and he's like, come on. And it's like, yeah, that's what,

whenever, whenever I played any kind of sports game, I put myself at 100. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you got to do it. Absolutely. what the fuck you want to be you want to give yourself the best chance at beating the rest of those computer characters absolutely exactly uh so we get to the the court you know and here's the thing also uh you take a did anybody when the basketball game starts did anybody pause for a second and check out that time code oh it's like there's like an hour left it's like there's literally an hour because the the basketball game starts at like 55 for you

50 minutes in or something like that. I paused it because I was like, well, we have to be in the third act of this movie. I did the same thing now that you mentioned it. Yeah, and I couldn't believe it. And we should say also the goon squad is assembled as well, which... Oh, I forgot about the go... What is this fucking shit?

Well, I mean, in the original movie, they steal the essence of all of like Patrick Ewing, Charles Barkley, et cetera, et cetera. And in this one, we... It is a similar scene. they they download the abilities of various NBA and to this movie's credit

WNBA characters players you know what I mean because it's you don't have to do that and this movie does do that so credit where credits do you know what I mean to include both and you get Clay Thompson is splash man and this is he you know what I think Shaquille O'Neal has a suit or something because this guy's playing icy hot

definitely they should have got the general in here dude you're totally right. The general would kill it. Imagine the general and Yosemite, Sam, like, fist, not fissing each other. I meant chest bumping, chest bumping, like, posturing. Well, that makes much more serious. That's the porn parody version.

Wow, general, you really save it be time. Wow, we. Time and money. Getting fissed in. Yeah, fisted for free, dude. gorge you also is it Claytobbs

is wet fire some horse shit Nika Aguamike is the spider lady or something like that Diana Tarasi in a psychosexual awakening for many people

I guarantee you is this snake woman forget about it yeah by the way I also love the fact yeah because you also have

who else is floating on her Damian Lillard and Duraman Green are also various characters. Draymond Green is Anthony Davis is the brow, the bird thing. Yes. Dremond Green is, is he the robot?

No, Draymond Green, I think, is just in a cameo, but he's not one of the one of the other. Oh, he's not one of them? No, he's not. So, Damien Lillard's the robot guy? Damian Lillard is the robot guy. So here's the thing. You got robot guy, you got bird guy, and then you got like ice and fire guy or whatever. And then the women are snakes and spiders.

Yeah. Like, okay. At the very least, Diana Tarasi is the white Mamba. That's what she calls herself kind of to honor Kobe Bryant and yada, y, yeah. And a white Mamba is a snake. So there you go. I do not know that. But I don't know much about Nika Aguikei and whether or not why she's a spider, question mark.

Davy. Yeah, I mean, the brow bird thing is something. It sucks, dude. It sucks ass. And, like, of course, LeBron James is like, you've got to cut that eyebrow. I'm like, I know he's got a unibrow. That's what everybody.

Robot guy sucks too because he's, uh, chronos and he can control time. And it's just like, what are we fucking doing? And it's like, it's literally, it stops the movie dead.

I'm not kidding. Like it, it takes 20 minutes for this fucking robot to saunter through the movie and he's meaningless. He is meaningless. Because like, he's a substitution. Initially,

it's got little, uh, James and like the idea is they go up by a million points or a thousand points because the point system is so stupid we should say Ernie Johnson and what's his face and Lil Relo Rell Rell. Two weeks in a row

with Lil Rale Howary. That's true. We're talking about. Yeah. And here's the thing, I'll say it right now now that we finally got to his like debut he's like a color commentator along with Ernie Johnson right? Like I fucking love Lil Rell and he is far and away the best part of this movie. The biggest laugh of the movie for me

is when he shows up and he's because you're just being transported into the server verse and he's freaking out like are we dead yeah it's a great great that thing is like all these people like the audience there's an the human audience that are sucked in by I guess watching a Twitch stream or something of this game yeah if you downloaded this app I don't you get sucked I don't like that I think it should be

cameos for every piece of shit you ever saw in your life like oh that's great there's that cop that hassled me one time Oh, there's my mailman. So then I could be like, oh, hey, look at all the people, all the, you know, life property, I know. Life property. I don't know.

L.P. That was my LPs. LPs sitting along the side of the IPs, dude. But, you know, if we're doing stupid cameos for every single fucking character I've ever seen in a movie, why not do one for humans? That's what, I mean, that's where we're going, I guess.

Once they get, once they could go inside your brain, Eric, then your fucking fourth grade math team. can play lebron james's wife or you know i guess you know what just do famous people gondy's hanging out there's trump but it's this weird thing where now like lebron james again because he has to be the world's greatest hero has to save the whole world also like i don't know like what are these and also why are these people even caring about the game they'd be screaming their heads on why am i to fucking why am i looking at king con right now i'm throwing up that's the thing right i i'm so high the first time i watched this movie i completely missed the part

where like real people get sucked into the app had no idea that was a thing that happened to this movie. I thought it was all just like the IPs or whatever but dude like from the start of it though like Cheetos just like let's get some butts in these seats and like and with that

my soul was destroyed like all these people coming in but you're right though I was sitting there last night I was like why is no one screaming because like it's an afterthought because it's just an excuse to get his family at the game. Yes. Yep. Just kidnap the family. And then just

surround him with fucking, I don't know, you know, who, I don't know, who was in a an episode or whatever. Exactly. Put the fucking cast a bonanza behind his family. I don't give a shit. I would love all these families have to drive back from the theater like, Dad, what's

Bonanza? The dad's like, I don't even know. I barely have an idea. I think my grandfather watched it. I don't even know. I was born in 1982. I don't know what the fuck, but Oh, my God, there's Bonanza. And then there's a rifleman? Oh, no, no. The Virginian.

Oh, my God. It's half gun will travel. Why not? It's IP, baby. Lancer. Oh, yeah, definitely, dude. Lancers floating around in this game. He's got floor seats.

But I mean, like, you know, you recognize a lot of the big ones, right? You got Iron Giant, King Kong, a bunch of fucking Hannah Barbarra shit. out through all of this. Dude, Gremlins, droogs. Between this and fucking, what do you call it,

that ready player one, that iron giant is just a ho. He's just, he's so cheap. He'll just go wherever the fucking money goes, huh? God damn it, Vin Diesel,

what the fuck. Have some respect for yourself, Iron Giant. Do you think, by the way, it was like, I just found out that the Iron Giant's

going to be in the new Space Jam movie and I just wanted to reach out and say, hey, I'll go hello into a microphone being space jam or something.

Possibly? It's just, yeah, you're totally right though. Like, you see that, and actually fucking King Kong too. King Kong's in both of those movies. Or double-dippet, dude. Choose an atrocity to frequent, okay? You know what's crazy, though?

is the montage of people getting sucked into their phones because they're watching this game. There's one part where it's it's two firefighters like on a call and the one guy's looking at his phone and they get sucked in and I was like, why is that firefighter watching a fucking basketball game while he's responding to an emergency?

I also, we would be remiss if we didn't say that Vanessa Redgrave's character from the Devils is here also for no reason. Yeah, I got a couple of them devil nuns floating like for what and it's fucking Ken Russell's the devil. Can you leave Ken Russell out of this? It's the same thing with the droogs dude. It's like

can we leave the violent rapists out of the movie? That's funny, you know, mentioning yeah, so Kubrick's also in you know, his property's also in Ready Player 1 as well. That's right. Shining, totally right. Oh boy. You know, just no one should ever make a movie ever because this is what they do to you.

You make a movie that you loved and it really meant something to you and now he's just fucking cheering on LeBron James 40 years later and you're like, who the fuck's LeBron James? Don't worry, it doesn't matter. So it turns out, yes, they're not playing basketball, but they are indeed playing Dom's basketball game, which is called Domball.

Another thing that's impossible to say. We're playing a game of Domball in the server verse. Yeah, it's Domball. It's $350 an hour. a lot of butt plugs there too that's where that Pete's going dude if you can only play one position that is the sub

subbing in dude that's right coming off the bench dude there's a line around here where like someone talks shit to these stupid cartoons granny granny goes haters gonna hate

oh man I thank God they gave that character to a 90 year old I mean that line to a 90 year old woman Yep, that's why it's funny, dude But no, but that's like, isn't that an antiquated expression at this point? Oh, it absolutely is going to, oh, yeah, sure. You're right, so that actually makes sense.

She'd just be coming around. If anyone says haters going to hate post-2020, whatever year it is, I don't know. They'd better be some grampy spit coming off of it. Oh, ew. So actually, Steve, I think what you were reverence here, the thing about like saving the world, I think the idea

is Don Cheap. character says that he's changing the stakes and now if LeBron loses, not only is he stuck in the server verse forever, but all of the humans that have been kidnapped through this app will also be stuck here. And also, a nice bonus on top of it all, the Looney Tunes will all be deleted or as I would like to interpret that as executed. Yes, summarily executed. Sounds like a lot of people got a lawsuit against Warner Brothers, you know, sucked into their servers. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, they're going down. Steve June, Sarah Silverman,

they're all getting fucking fired. If you, you didn't read the privacy policy, you can get sucked into the app. Oh, fuck. Dude, that's, you know what? Terms and conditions do apply here, bitch. I do. Character I'd like to see in this movie is Mank.

Ooh, get Mank in there. Mank should be. Sorry, dude, Netflix property. Damn. Oh, man. Imagine all those great Netflix properties that Mank and Red Notice get together,

whatever the fuck Chris Helmsworth thing was. All these movies that hundreds of millions of people have seen, by the way. I don't know if they're all trying, they're all trying to find

the lost daughter. Oh, the bird watch or whatever the fuck that thing was. Oh, Birdbox. I was that Sandra Pollock's blind. Hundreds of millions of people

have seen these movies, Andrew. Hundreds of millions of people don't recognize, you know, people like, you go anywhere on the world. You mentioned bird box. They'll recognize that before something like Star Wars or something.

Oh, for sure. Absolutely. Because the viewership is just through the roof. It's insane how good these movies do. They all do really well. It's insane how many people forget that the auto plays on and then walk out of the room for five to seven hours. Yeah, you know, I never heard of the Flash, but Red Notice, those guys are heroes. Fuck you, Netflix.

You're just a bunch of craven liars. That's all it is. So they start playing this stupid fucking game and like they're not doing well because LeBron doesn't want to have fun and he's trying to play regular basketball but that's not going to work. We get to see a lot of fun stuff like the snake lady does some stuff and the spider lady does some stuff.

Oh, the snake lady was doing some stuff. Exactly. Slithering that tongue around. Don't worry about it. There's a part where this was a fucking horrendous joke. It's actually, it's too horrendous. jokes back to back. So the second joke is way worse than the first joke. The first joke is, I don't remember

what the the foul was that was called on him, but what's his name? Foghorn, leghorn, it's ejected from the game. And it's eject and he goes flying. Very looney-tunes-esque, of course. Oh, here it comes. But then, here it comes,

dude, Daffy Duck, Daffy Duck, the fucking man. Man. Mm-hmm. Get that fucking 21st century comedy going. he just goes, well, that happened. Dude, dude, fucking suck it. Just if you're a screen, if you are a major motion picture, find and replace well that happened with literally anything else.

Well, no, no. You guys got to stop it. You got to stop with the fucking well that happened. It took six people to come up with that. That's true. Or this is awkward. It took six people to come up with a fucking thing Josh Whedon wrote in 1998. exactly you lazy turds

don't you love that IP there's a there's a late comment what I started doing by the way in my notes was every time I noticed well after the game had started other little fucking IPs walking around I had to jot them down you know so here's one uh oh

it's the uh the reboot version of Pennywise the cloud and he's having a great fucking time he's so thankful he's not in his porno parody right now there's also Volta Voldemort is hanging around. Yeah, of course he is. Wouldn't Pennywise be trying to kill these kids,

these LeBron kids? That'd be fucking cool. Oh, that would be something. But then they did defeat them through an orgy. That's right. We all got to fuck so that turtle goes away or whatever happened. Hey,

Doc, can we get back to the basketball game? Ain't this humiliating? And it's the turtle from the tortoise and the hair cartoon. That guy's great. That guy's adorable. He rocks, dude. So, oh,

so this is like, yeah, one of these things. The robot comes out. Damien Lillard robot, yeah. Kronos. To be fair, to Damien Lillard says it's dame time, so that's what this is supposed to be. Right. It's dame time, but then the robot

just starts, like, moving super fast, like so fast that everyone else is going really slow and, like, all right and again it just takes so long to get through this bit that means nothing yeah i mean i guess the biggest joke within it is what like he takes uh the road runner and sets him on a table in front of uh wily coyote to eat him sure which is a thing yeah sure oh and you know whatever so they're down by a trillion points or thousand something like a thousand points it's like a thousand at the right because remember style points and stuff like that you know and

And, you know, everyone's like, oh, man, this sucks. We're totally screwed. And Sylvester, the cat's like, I found Michael Jordan. And it's Michael B. Jordan. And it's a funny little joke. And Michael B. Anytime you see this handsome, talented fucker walk into a movie, I'm like, all right, you got me first. However long he's here.

But join the game like fucking Wayne Knight and Bill Murray. You're totally right, dude. Like, he just walks out after all of it. And it is fucking hilarious, though, because he starts doing Friday night lights, clear eyes, full hearts can't lose. like it's fucking hysterical but it also reminded me like he was great on that show and I kind of

wished I was just watching a rerun of that. I never saw the show. I had no idea that was another big IP grab. It's all IP grabs dude. Well that's but that's a weird IP grab because that show is a universal property. That's NBC Universal. But yeah he just starts yelling clear eyes, full hearts can't lose. That is what

that's like the coach's mantra for you know for for his team. He says you know if you get clear eyes full hearts you can't lose. So that's Coach Taylor. That shows great. That's for a totally other fucking discussion. But yeah, he just like fucking totally walks out. And then

the follow up here is kind of great because it's sort of out of nowhere. Tweedy Bird just accuses him of being a bad father. It's not wrong. It's just totally fucking great. He realizes now that they have to

play like Looneytons. It's the only way they're going to win. So then, you know, second half they're going to do it. And we start with the worst part of the movie easily, which is porky pig wrapping for four minutes. Oh, excuse me, Steve. I believe you mean, are you talking about the notorious P.I.J? Yeah, he does. Ten crack commandments. Oh. Hey, dude, probably better than that time you saw Adrian Brody read that. Number four, I know you heard this before. Never get high on your own since it's a supply number five never sell no

crack where you rest at and then Ernie Johnson just saying like he was spit and pure fire oh man oh man dude even in that moment Lil Relo looks at Ernie Johnson and he's like you fucking ass it sucks so bad

but whatever man they just car what does Granny do here she fucking moves her fat ass on something gums it no she uses matrix powers and like kills the robot

like she sets it to like years or to itself so that it starts so the robots getting old now so that's why the robot has a beard you understand his hair gets all thin and shit um Cheatel does did you catch

the the Bobby Knight reference oh yeah oh could you could you miss it I mean he's even got the sweater on I think if I'm yeah if I'm remembering correctly he throws the chair out out of the court, whatever. Oh, but yeah, oh, the fucking granny thing, though,

man. So she does a bunch of fucking Matrix moves and ages this robot. You cut to LeBron James and he just goes, she is the wife. Oh, dude. God fucking damn it. I'm telling you, I think you're totally right, Steve. Lano Wachowski got a fucking copy

of this script and was like, oh yeah, motherfucker, let's go. It's the only that makes any fucking sense. Yeah? Because they are way too similar. By the way, I just want to be clear about this script. There are 10 people with story credits and screenplay credits. It's

1, 2, 3, 4 have story credits. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 have screenplay credits, and then 4 more people have to be credited for writing the first space jam movie. So 14 people, ladies, that's a basketball team. Wow. Did we also add in

the dude who invented basketball? just to be on the safe side. I don't think he got of credit. And James Naysmith for basketball. Good gravy. And you can feel

each one of their little imprints on here. And plus you know that this went to like some some hack comedian in L.A. to fucking punch up also. Oh, absolutely. Didn't even get any credit for that either.

So we're talking like 20 to 30 people went through this fucking horrible script. Dude, speaking of this horrible script, there's a part right around where we're at now, LeBron is like you know they come back for the second half they're being cartoons about it

they're having a great time the fucking scoreboard's going up and like there's a time out or something and he's like got everybody on the bench and he's like way to get Looney out there. Oh yeah yeah like trying to they're trying like I don't think he's trying to

make the sun jealous but the sun is noticing he's having a LeBron is having a great time with all the Looney tunes and one of the lines is just way to get Looney out there. And the kid's like, oh, man, my dad's having a lot of fun. So then he winds up switching teams, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He defects, dude. He defects to the tunes. And Don Cheadle's like, oh, yeah. Well, you thought everything up to this point was fucking vomit-inducing and ducing and cringeworthy, huh? Well, now I'm going to turn my own self into a fucking weird

CGI monster man. Yeah, that's something. How about... Dude, he upgrades. Oh, how about Don Cheadle plays? How about that? Yeah, just John Cheadle, just regular old Don Cheader. Because he's a fucking computer and can have all those powers without being big anyway. So what the fucking matter? He could disappear and reappear and stretch and do whatever else it needs to do. But this is where, and this was like, if you had any doubt in your mind that this movie was not made for children, here's the moment that you're proven wrong.

Because when he fucking levels up like that, Don Cheadle pounds his chest and says, King Kong ain't got nothing on me To which King Kong in the audience Gets a little offended by that And I see that King Kong It's unfortunate thing It's of course a reference to Denzel In fucking training day saying

King Kong ain't got shit on me And all the kids went Yay The movie where Snoop dogs in a wheelchair I would love it if That's what everybody remembers I would love it if he gets shot and the leg goes

Motherfucker like Zenzel does one of the greatest motherfuckers in the world of all time one of the greatest motherfuckers I'm not crazy about a ton of Antoine Fuqua movies

actually as a matter of fact we're doing one this month on the show and he also had another fucking horrendous movie come out last year but that movie fucking rules and I think to this day

it's probably still his best movie by far it's an ass magnet that on TNT edited to shit three and a half hours there's your afternoon you're not going nowhere my friend absolutely

but this CGI Don Cheadle is just unsettling it is and it's the last play they're down by two Don Cheadle I mean I think I think Lola Bunny makes them great shot and Don Cheadle just takes it off the scoreboard because he's God in this universe

and they realize oh if we do this super special move you know the we A he can't stop it because it's a glitch in the system but then the person who does it will be deleted i.e. executed forever. That's right.

And so, yeah, it's his, it's LeBron's like glitch move thing that fucked up the game, the step back or whatever the fuck. And then like, you know, they're all like set up to do it. Like LeBron's going to do it. And LeBron actually using some like, I don't know, like

space jam logic here. He's like because the son, Dom, is like, you know, dad, you can't do that. And he's like, I'm a real person. I wouldn't be deleted. I might just get spit out the game. And I'm like, yep that actually seems kind of logical but Bugs Bunny decides to step in dude and sacrifice himself

and do the glitch move on his own and you know puts the shot up but of course like it doesn't it can't be Bugs Bunny winning this game no even though he is sacrificing his life for this situation no no no no no it doesn't work out LeBron's got the ball he's trying to do a jump move

here and Birdman like, you know, lands on him whatever and it's like, oh, he's not going to make it. And so the kid sees, oh, there's one of these like power up jump things on the floor and he throws it up into the air. LeBron steps on it, gets that extra jump,

makes that fucking dunk. It's got to be LeBron, baby. It's about the king. I'm sorry, the king. I apologize. Yeah. The king. Have some fucking respects. And, uh, yeah, dude, fucking LG rhythm there. He gets posterized.

This is like what, like a, like a, Mortal Kombat fatality kind of moment here. It seems like that's how he's built it in the game. Posterized means when you get dunked on, you get on a poster. But whatever. But you know what, folks,

whatever. Yeah, well, now he says like, this is not how I wanted to go out. And then his anal bead, like flies by and the poster's destroyed. And I guess that's it for,

for Aldi, whatever is there. LG Rhythm, dude, he's fucking torn to shreds. Al J-Zera. something I would rather be watching absolutely independent news source

100% and then the movie you know because they were like we know that we scammed all you fucking morons to watch this movie and you thought you were going to see cool animated Looney Tunes and then we gave you for the last hour of this movie disgusting more lifelike rendered CGI Looney Tunes

just as a final fuck you to all of you watching this movie once Don Cheadle is deleted, those Looney Tunes will go right back to looking like you wanted them to look for the whole fucking film. Great. That's fantastic. God damn it. And then Bugsbyes dies, which is hilarious. What the fuck is this?

Dude, Bugs Bunny having his last words be, that's all folks, and then ascending to whatever. He becomes a star in the sky. I was laughing. It's so stupid because obviously, you know, and then in the next scene, it's like one week, later. And then Bugs Bunny is like, eh, I could, uh, I could live through anything. Yeah. Yeah. Stakes don't mean nothing. Doc. Like you need to do like, I mean, I get it.

But like, I don't know, then that's the end of your movie though, right? Why even try to have an emotional weight to Bugs Bunny dying or whatever? And then why bring him back? Why? Why not just, hey, I just saw this guy get dunked on. The game's over. Go to one week later. And now it's like, what's up doc i learned how to dig through fucking time and space so here i am yeah totally anything like that like no one for a second believe that bugs bunny was dead anyways so like just figure out a better way to do that because it's just it's lazy and embarrassing it would be great if every six flags across the country has like black flags and there's no bugs buddies anymore no he died in that lebron james movie you don't remember no he's dead he's dead forever he is dead

Yeah, we killed Bugs Bunny. We're sick and tired of that guy. Until Cyborg and the Flash had to, like, throw a box at him and then run fast. And now he's back. Dude, restore the fucking tunes averse, dude. Restore the server verse. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

When you say it, it sounds like a computer powering down. It's pretty cool. But yeah, like, if you're going to do this, like, quote unquote, killing off Bugs Bunny or whatever, Like, you have to have, like, his, you know, seven days later, there needs to be something. Yeah. I need some sort of explet. Like, he just shows up in a parking lot. Yeah, like, you know, Daffy Duck goes to the tomb and the rock has been rolled over.

Porky Pig doesn't believe it. Yeah, something like that. Exactly. It's definitely Christlike. I'd take it. Absolutely. You know, Bugs Bunny is my savior, of course. But, yeah, so, you know, it's LeBron before he encounters a resurrected Bugs Bunny.

it's LeBron and Dom and they're going to basketball camp and it's kind of stunning that I guess this kid just doesn't know where the basketball camp is I guess because he's not like where are you taking me this isn't where the basketball camp is being held he missed all the signs that says E3 parking as well exactly and so you know LeBron's like actually surprise looks six feet in front of your face and they're at E3 and then this was weird he's like well have a good time. child of mine and just leaves this kid to go and do a video game conference? I mean, I guess it's a video game camp thing. So he's probably all paid for and all set up or whatever. So it's Oh, it's a camp. I thought it was like an expo or something. It's like a weekend camp

to... Oh, for children. But I agree. I'm not leaving my kid to a video game camp. Uh-uh. At least go to the programers have sticky fingers, man. Go to the fucking check-in or something. I don't know. But yeah, and then so like, yeah, Bugs Bunny is right there. And he's like, I told you,

I can survive anything, which is weird. You're not going to survive the dip, motherfucker. How about that? You're left out the part where he has a basketball with him and he, like, tells his father, no, no, no, I'll take the basketball with me. And LeBron Jim's like, oh, he still likes basketball. The fucking video game he made is about basketball. He's always liked basketball.

He just doesn't want to play in the NBA. That's exactly right. also now you're just carrying this basketball around this video game camp well you never know when you need to scan something with your fucking super smart rich guy tool that's true uh and then so like lebron or bugs is like hey can i stay at your house and lebron's like yeah absolutely and he's like oh i brought some friends with me they wanted to say hi and it's like we are not going to give screen time to any more of these loony tunes you just have to believe that they also came into the real world with bugs bunny money my I guess so. And then it ends like a fast and furious movie. Just goes, we're family. Yeah. Oh, fuck you.

Bugs Bunny's gonna be pounding a corona during the credits, I wish. Jesus. And then there's a fun, in quotation marks, it's a bunch of photos of the Looney Tunes in the real world. Granny is fighting Ronda Rousey for some reason. I don't know. Yeah, because it's like, the end of this is bugs being like, what all sorts of fun things can we get up to in the real world?

Oh, my God. Really? I think the credits rolled. I had them on. And I was just like, oh, these are things that happened in the movie. They're like photos from the movie or something. No, it's like them like in L.A. doing things. I just totally ignored it, looking at my phone, waiting to see if there's a stinger scene at the end. That's kind of where I was too. I mean, I did watch it. But yes, I was like, is there a stupid singer? And like, I guess this movie is so smart. It doesn't need a stinger. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's a hyper-intelligent motion picture. thing though that I noticed about the end of the credits there is a very faint that's all folks as if like they caught the voice actor in the parking lot when he was trying to get to the car so just say it one more time to say that's all folks I mean that's this whole fucking voice performance

it's all from the car or calling in from fucking Dallas when you got a minute oh man and that is the end of this fucking abhorrent movie I am not going to bother to ask you guys about recommendations but final thoughts on space jam a new legacy

Eric says okay here we go I didn't like it excellent Steve Sadek yeah no it's a piece of shit I think that there's better ways to if they just did a more straight laced space jam featuring

LeBron James I would have had fun with it probably or enough fun to be like well that was cute but all the IP fuckery and everything else and I mean like the family stuff is really bothersome because you're supposed to feel for this little kid and the way his dad is treating him and I'm like I don't know dude I never got into an argument with my dad at Warner brother studios while they were pitching him something I don't know how that's like uh that's right I mean that's why it's imperative like in that first space jam that they just make him they pretend as if Michael Jordan isn't one of the richest people yes like he's like a six have to do it like he makes six figures a year playing for the Chicago Bulls which doesn't make any sense but at least because here I mean that's the whole thing is like the LeBron brand. I think is at its most toxic here

where it's like I'm the best at everything I'm so rich I'm so great I'm so amazing my kid's so fucking fantastic and care about us and it's like well the last part's gonna be difficult dude sorry absolutely the whole notion of like well rich people have problems too well fucking great they don't

I saw this is 40 they don't that's true there are some fucking minuscule problems being cried about that movie for four and a half hours yeah no I like I said this is the worst movie I watched last year. And it's only because this just, the IP shit.

It's just, it's pathetic. It's disgusting. Uh, I feel sorry for anybody that fucking fell for it. I really do. Like, they're, they think, they think you all are, are pigs to a trough. And, you know what I mean? It's just like, people should have been mad about this movie in a way that nobody was. And I feel that that's a real, a real missed opportunity for some well-placed anger. That's what I think. Uh, but that is going to do it.

is Space Jam, a new legacy directed by Malcolm D. Lee. If you want more We Hate Movies, check out Patreon.com slash We Hate Movies. We're garing up to have a whole slew of awesome content coming out on there for you this month, including We Love Movies on Denny Villeneuve's fantastic Dune. What else are we doing this month, gentlemen? You know, we have a new show. We launched the podcast of Boba Fat. We are going through every single episode of the new Disney Plus show, the book of Boba Fat. And we already released I guess shit. It's every week, so I don't know what we're up to right now.

Maybe episodes. I think I think when this will air, we will have already released two episodes. I think that's correct. Yes. And three will be going out next week. Yeah, tons of stuff. We've also got, we'll be doing an animation damnation on Try Not to Vomit. It's Little Ellen

or Lil Ellen. I'm not sure if it's a little or a little. This is another rich person I'm supposed to care about. Exactly. It's Ellen DeGeneres is a small child. That's so much fun. God. yeah we got that we got here's something that's interesting actually on our new episode of the Nexus we will be

officially starting Star Trek TOS season three which means in two years we will be done with Star Trek TOS on the Nexus That's exciting And it's very exciting And we've also got some more Melro coming at you Another another visit to Brandon And Co and Billy and everybody else

So of course be able to be sure to sign up, subscribe to all that good stuff You don't want to miss a beat of what's going on on Patreon but here next week the sum of the worst of the previous year month continues Steve what are we going to be chit chatting about then

I am excited because I think I'm the only person who has seen this movie I think Chris has seen it as well RIP Chris is dead by the way he's gone he's gone forever he might come back he was deleted he got deleted yeah he might come back and have fun with us in Los Angeles at some point

no but I will say I've been to this point infinite with Mark Wahlberg and my only person, I mean maybe in America. I'm excited, though. I'm excited. It's him and Chuitel Ejia for is. It is. Yeah.

Dude, I got to tell you, if I wasn't being forced into watching this for next week's show, I would still be convinced that this movie isn't real. You've been talking about this movie for like the better part of the last like six to eight months. I got no idea what this thing is. It's like Mark Wahlberg Highlander possibly. Oh. Well, that's something. Maybe you'll get decapitated at the end of it. That'll be worth it all, Steve.

So until next week with Mark Wahlberg's Highlander. I'm Andrew Juppin. Steven Seda. I'm a cartoon character. Take it easy. That was a HitGum podcast.