We Hate Movies - S12 Ep588: Infinite

Episode Date: January 18, 2022

This week on the program, our (Some of) the Worst of the Previous Year Month continues as the gang chats about the completely incomprehensible Mark Wahlberg movie, Infinite! So we're to believe Mark is playing a guy born in, ::checks notes::, 1985? Why is he trying to get a job at that restaurant when he clearly could make a living being an underground sword maker? And do the Highlander creators have a case with this source material? PLUS: Toby Jones just choking on that honey... mm-mmm... that's good stuff. Infinite stars Mark Wahlberg, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Sophie Cookson, Dylan O'Brien, Jason Mantzoukas, Rupert Friend, Jóhannes Haukur Jóhannesson, Kae Alexander, Wallis Day, Liz Carr, and Toby Jones; directed by Antoine Fuqua. Catch the replay of WHM's virtual live show on Mortal Kombat '21 -- streaming until 11:59pm/et on Friday, 1/21! Check out the WHM Merch Store -- featuring new Mortal Kombat & Bean Dinner designs! Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

this weekend we hate movies. We're talking about a movie that's kind of like Highlander meets the Matrix meets the Boston Red Sox. It's Infinite. I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Sadek. Eric Siska. Nihilist, Chris Cabin. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning into the fine program, as always. That's right. This week, we don't even know what's going on. It's fucking infinite. this is another entry in our worst of the previous year month. This is directed by Antoine Fugwa, a guy who had some bangers back in the day

and I don't know how he keeps getting work right now. A singular banger I think. It's training day, right? Replacement killers. Oh yeah, I guess that's pretty good. His feature film debut and I think after training day it's a bunch of not great stuff. Although that McNevison 7 remake

has its moments. You're missing bait Jamie Fox versus the grandest of all pedophiles, Doug Hutchinson. The grandest of all pedophiles. He's the head one. Like you kill him and they all go away. Once he died,

I'm saying he's been killed. He's Dracula. That's when Epstein was exposed. Just, you know, Chris, we've recorded three things without you. We did last week, Space Jam, you had some internet issues. We did a couple of Patreon situations.

And just to come back, coming in hot with the grandest of all pedophiles. Welcome back, dude. Thank you. Thank you very much. Yeah, yeah. Don Cheadle sent me to the fucking Netherverse. And I'm back.

I'm back now. Can I tell you that when I was sitting watching this film Infinite last night, I was sitting there going, man, it really sucks that Space Jam, a new legacy makes way more sense than this movie. Oh, 100%. It is, it is, I have a real soft spot for an action. blockbuster thing of a jig that makes no good sense at all. It just it tickles me just the right way when there's

anytime, here's the thing, anytime you start your movie with an opening narration that says there are among us or to every generation you're like, oh dude, you are on shaky ground right now. Steve, are you a believer or a nihilist?

Dude, how could you not be a nihilus? It's 2022. We're doing this remotely. you're just a root infrutia for in this speaking of I want to just before we get too into it one of these days oh I thought you were going to hit play real quick I didn't have the fucking button ready no no no I wish it's hard to do that for movies released on streaming only by the way good move paramount good move but there needs to be like

a special session of Congress just some hearings at some point yeah to just get to the bottom of who is doing this to chew a tell edge of for who is really like keeping this man out of good movies and making him do this like who's is it a grand conspiracy i want fucking people in chairs under oath to talk to me about this we got to get to the bottom of a dude i think you're totally right i mean it's just astounding to me that like a man of this great talent is in this movie with this beard ladies and gentlemen oh my god yes he looks like um What was Jeff Bridges' character in Ironman? Oh, Obeda Estain? Yeah. He does. He really does.

But I mean, like, if you go to his, like, known for on IMDB, one of them that's there is fucking the film 2012. Oh, no. It's been going on forever, dude. I was just looking at his IMDB real quick. He was also in the old guard in 2020, another centuries old reincarnation type of thing. Yep. yeah which is like a better version of this movie yeah i mean that movie's not great but it's much

better than this yes well this movie is uh you know you hear about it a lot that a lot of action movie specifically and especially now that you cannot just make a movie it has to be a franchise starter sure yeah the idea of a movie that feels like your the movie is starting as it ends yeah this is like the epitome of that i felt like i didn't understand what was going on even vaguely until like five minutes away from credits where I was like I kind of get what you're talking about almost but this was also awful. It's like you just when you think you understand what's going on

they're like oh by the way Treadway you can do magic and you're like well hold on. Come on God come the fuck on. It's like here's what this movie was like for me Steve watching it. It was like you fucking fall down the stairs right like you I don't know if anyone out there's ever falling down this I'm taking a fall down a stair here and there in my day. Tons of them.

You fall down the stairs. You're like, wow. I just fell down the stairs. And then you take a step back and you fall down another set of stairs. I did that exact thing in the, what was that, in the East Village? We went to some party. Oh, the infamous get him out of here. They got rid of me.

I was almost certain Eric Siska, my very good friend. My dear, lovely friend, was dead. I looked at the bottom of this staircase. I was like, oh, Eric's dead. Yeah, that's a steep fall too. Yes, it was. It was just like, yeah, like once you thought you got a handle on something like, wow, glad I lived through falling down those stairs, this movie like gives you another detail like you just said, Steve, magic, and I fell down the stairs again. It's really something.

We, I mean, so this movie is theoretically about two groups of not really immortals, like you can every, people who get, there's about 500 people on Earth for some reason, who. who can be reincarnated and remember their reincarnation. Correct. And kind of keep those personality traits. It gets activated in youth like an X-Man situation theoretically. I think we mentioned puberty. He kind of sets it off. Yes.

That's pretty cool. And there's two groups. There's the believers, as Chris said, who want to use their special abilities, which really aren't even that special. I guess, you know, I mean, depending on, you know, your special abilities to better the world, the nihilists who are. are sick of reincarnation and just want the world to end. Yes, which I understand completely,

because I'm there without the centuries of lives. You know, what, like, science fiction property has done this already, and it's, like, way better and not really complicated at all, is fucking Star Trek with the race of aliens known as the Trills, which is what, like, Dax was on DS9. Oh, right, right. It's like, you are joined with, like, this alien. and symbiote thing that's inside you

but you're remembering all the other beings that have hosted the symbiote and you can then take on their abilities. They're also doing it now on Star Trek Discovery. There's a character that is joined with a trill and they are able to like, you know, like one of their previous people knew how to play

the cello really well so this character they can play the cello really. It's like it's totally like just like, yep you remember your lives and that's it. There's no fucking secret cabals. There's no like good versus evil of that. You know what I mean? it's like this whole like there's this like the the fucking the battle of light and dark basically is so tired well you would think you know usually when you start getting hair on your balls

you stop thinking you're a cowboy and an astronaut but apparently in this world you're like no i was a cowboy and an astronaut and a samurai well i guess that's why i fucking they pump Marky Mark with 30 volts dude just really just shock the shit out of this kid. Before we really dig in I got one big question about this movie it starts in well I guess I have a few but it starts in Mexico

city right? Yes with Heinrich Treadway who he ends up being the reincarnation of and I don't remember if this was mentioned or if there was a like a superimposed text on the screen saying it's in 1985 but the stuff I'm seeing

online says he dies in 1985, which would mean Mark Wahlberg would be born in 1985, which means he's playing a younger character than me at 36 years old. You are correct, sir. You are correct. He's 50 playing

36, and he looks like Troy McClure talking to Miss Piggy when he gets on the lines on his nose. Yes, dude. Why is that Muppet made out of leather? I was watching it last night. And I couldn't, I don't know. I'm sure I've seen

something here or there, but I don't know what the most recent Mark Wahlberg movie I've seen before this was. But Jesus, man, he is looking like an old football. It's probably mile 22, which we did a year or two ago, which is my God. That, I mean, that is actually kind of better than this. I got to say, it is, it is. Mile 22. I text, I know, I tweeted something about infinite and someone replied with something about Mile 22 and I literally Googled it to see what it was. And I was like, oh, we did an episode on it. Well, I think happened is I think Dylan O'Brien plays Treadway in the beginning. He is Treadway. And like, I kind of think they did a flipsy. Like, Mark Wahlberg should have been this guy at the beginning. Yeah. Yeah. Fighting Rupert

friend and doing that whole thing. And then Dylan O'Brien is the young guy because Dylan O'Brien is about that age, me even younger. I don't know. Yeah, I think he's probably younger. We should say because we're all old and we don't watch it. He plays styles on that. newish teen wolf show. We get it. None of us watch it. Let's get on with our lives. He was the maze runner. Oh, is that right. Those movies don't make any sense.

There are a bunch of secret movies, too. I refuse to believe that those exist. I know they do, but like, what is that shit? Apparently, Chris Evans was supposed to be this guy. Was supposed to be Mark Wahlberg, but then he dropped out. They're like, who else do we know from Boston? And then, you know, that's how that goes. You just have to. I'm sorry, you have to.

like the Mexico City section, like during the events of Roma or something to make Mark Walberg the right age. You're totally right, dude. Yeah, we need that fucking, you know, the protests in the streets in the 70s, I think it was. But they're, yeah, you need that.

But they're doing slippery shit, though. I mean, I don't know where that 1985 number came from either because I was watching it, because I remember the first time I watched us being totally confused when this takes place because this opening action sequence doesn't have any period to it whatsoever. I thought it was modern. Yes, of course.

Maybe are they trying to fake you out with that? They say the title card is Mexico City colon the last life. Like whatever that means. So they don't say 1985. You just know that this was Mark's last life. But like, yeah, say it's, I got nothing from the 80s here. Right. Maybe a car.

No, it's the 1985 thing is if you looked at the credits, Rupert Friend is credited as Bathurst, 1985. Oh, whatever. That's the only, that's the only way. I was able to tell because I was looking to the cast list on IMDB and also you know what Rupert friend I think is a really good actor

You barely see his face full on in this movie There's got to be deleted scene somewhere Yeah Because like this Because what happens is Dylan O'Brien is driving Top Speed talking to people

He's healing himself With a wound in his stomach Which we'll get to And he's talking to his other agents Which is this couple And they're like what and then she's just like you gotta protect the egg

the egg the egg the egg and I'm like what dude and like testament to like the shit editing in this movie like you have no idea what the spatial relations are in this scene like Dylan O'Brien's driving this car

he just fought Rupert friend on like construction scaffolding and then this other couple in this other you have no idea where anybody is I was like are they even both in Mexico City where is this other car? I think they're in fucking Baltimore

honestly they just cut this shit so badly and like then they like they crash and they die during this thing they're screaming about the egg of course but we don't even know what happens like this thing ends without us really knowing fully what happened to O'Brien

and fucking Bathurst right he does this thing where like you know they get they get God and then he's like well it's all down to me and he drives and does this cool Tokyo drift move which I don't even think you can do it with cars in the 1980s flips himself towards a construction site

and lands with his really cool sword and that's like quotation marks and then you cut to Mark Wahlberg present day why give a guy a third interview if you're just trying to embarrass him is my question I dude yeah I don't know what's going on here I think this the guy who owns this restaurant

like Walberg is interviewing to be like the Mater D at this like snooty restaurant or whatever I think this guy just wants to fuck with it. Yeah, 100%. He's got that much time. He's just an abelist maybe, I guess. I don't know. And he wants a lawsuit so bad.

He really, it's like, it's one thing to give somebody two interviews and be like, oh, you know, I did a background check. That guy assaulted somebody. I'm not touching that with a 10 foot pole. But instead, he brings him in. He's like, so it says here you're schizophrenic and you like to beat people up? And it's like, okay, so then I'm clearly going to see you for. but this was the most interesting scene of the movie for me is the restaurant interview made me give me vibes of pig and I was just going to say that oh my god yeah I want like a pig

of verse not whatever this is supposed to be yo bro is this what you really want to do bro didn't you want to open a pub bro didn't you want to open a pub bro just for white people oh no okay not that part not that part sorry sorry bro that's what I want You serve this fru-frou shit. You should be serving wall burgers. That's your passion. That's what you wanted. I am looking for this pig,

and we are going to this underground chef's only fighting ring. You gave my pig to some meth heads, bro? By the way, we didn't mention real quick. Do you ever look in the mirror surprised by what's there? Yeah, of course. Oh, dude. Yeah, every, every day. Not surprise.

Disappointed. You ever have dreams that feel like kind of real? Dude, him doing this narration, man. I mean, you have him like recording this on a phone, in a car, in a parking lot while he is waiting to get on a private jet somewhere. This is some of the worst narration I have ever heard. You hear beeping in the background. He's like, he stops for it. Go around.

I'm filming a movie here. Welcome to Taco Bell. Can I take your order? No, yeah, number two. I don't let a Mexican touch it. Yeah, I know that's counterintuitive. Anyway, you ever have a dream so real? You ever thought it was like a memory, dude?

Dude, you ever think about that? We're out of Chalupus, sir. Oh, you got, I'm going to beat someone's ass. I'm going to hate crime you. I'll pull up to the second window. Dude, we have this. This, another thing about the chase scene, really. quickly. Sorry, but like back to

Mexico City. This like chase through like these tunnels and he's like he uses the car to kick a brick through the windows of two other cars and it's like we're watching it and Chelsea's like that's stupid

that's stupid. That's stupid like it kept getting dumber but I mean like again he's just reincarnated like I mean I guess this one because he does this is in this scene and they show it a couple times it's like he puts his hand out the car and like starts manipulating reality and I'm like

how and what and why? Well that's because I think in a past life dude he was a wizard bro yeah you have to be you have to be in this for a little bit before you get the finger magic then you can do finger magic

but yeah so he gets his interview and you find out that he is dying of schizophrenic and assaulted a customer because he was messing with a waitress And they're like, well, he's grabbing a ass, bro. And it's like, well, you will call you. And it's like, okay.

And then his threatening thing about the guy's well-moisterized hands. Oh, yeah. Also, it's like, this is not for this movie. Nope. Right? Like, because he's got lines like, my illness isn't an issue. You know, it's shit like that. And it's just like, get this out of here.

Get this absolutely out of here. I know that people have mental problems. It's a real thing. thing that we need to destigmatize even further in this world. But like, get this out of my Mark Wahlberg movie immediately. Because I guess if he just knew and was just like

forging his swords and stuff, he would just be Russell Nash from the Highlander, you know, Christopher Lambert's fake persona. But I don't understand like why even involve yourself with this kind of hot to my like you don't want to be dealing with

this. Why just he's special? Like he has all these powers and stuff. Why isn't that just the reason. Well, it's also confusing because it's like, yes, I agree with you, Andrew. Like, yeah, it should be in this movie. It is a hot to molly, Chris. But it's this thing where, like, you're even going further because then it's like,

oh, no, he doesn't have a mental problem. These pills are actually suppressing his God-given whatever. And it's like, well, that's not a great message either. No, no, no, it isn't. I mean, that's, but that's like this weird, like, the pills that we're medicating our children with

are, you know, dampening, they're potential to be reincarnated superhero. I mean, this is what the guy from, this is what Scoot McNary thinks is going on and come on, come on. You know what I mean? You're right. Every schizophrenic person is a reincarnated magic user. Exactly.

I mean, and sometimes it's really good to take your medicine and be, you know, and all that stuff. It's very difficult to do that. It's a hard thing to do. It's a good thing to do. And it's like, no, no, no, dude. The magic is in sight.

For real. oh my god but yeah so like after he bottoms out of this job interview this is where you get the are the things you just know how to do and it's him just thinking about forging these Japanese Japanese swords and when I tell you okay I did not know what this movie was and every time it came up on like our scheduling sheets and whatever like we're doing infinite infinite and I was like I keep forgetting what this movie is up until last night watching it. And then when I see him making this sword, I was

I was just like, oh God. It's like what have I just, it's like when in movies and TV, when someone steps on a landmine and they know that they stepped on the landmine, but they're, you know, they've yet to take the kill step. I was just like, oh, oh, sorts, he's making a sword.

Oh, here we go. The stupidest thing about the sword other than the fact that is Mark Wahlberg making it, is that he uses the whole idea he has. here is he's going to use this to sell to a drug dealer friend he has who is going to give him his pills. Why not, A, go to a pawn shop. You would get your money pretty easily there or more likely go on forged and fire. Win it all the way. You're going to, you'll do a hunt. You'll do so well. You know you're going to knock it out of the park. When Toby Jones is introduced later in the movie,

he says like this is made unlike any other sword for like a thousand years. He could have fooled Southerzby's with shit like this and that's real money. And you know what? A movie about a sword forger that knows how to make it like the ancient ways and he's making them

in like the present day and they're all knockoffs or whatever that's a way cooler more interesting and watchable movie than what they're doing in this shit. And also like make him just like this underground guy

don't give me the pig scene at all. You know what I mean? Like I don't need the restaurant whatever like he's just he's like he's an underground sword dealer and that's how he's gets his pills. And that would, I guess, make more sense. Like, oh, I guess he started tinkering with this stuff a while back. And in this, it's just like, I'm a restaurant manager.

And for some reason, I know how to make swords, bro. Exactly. Just, like, just think about that. Think like, you think in your head, I think I could probably make Katana pretty well out of nowhere. And then you get all the materials. And then you just do it. Like, it's, it's, it's insane. Forging fire tells you, dude, foraging is dangerous. Okay. So you, don't want to do it unless you know what you're doing, guys. So I got two questions about the sword stuff, sort-related questions here. One, he mentions to the guy in the job interview, he's like, rent's coming, bro.

I got to pay my rent or whatever. And like, so that leads me to believe, like, he's in some, like, you know, kind of small apartment or something. Where is he finding the space to forge swords? Yes. And the materials. And the materials, all of that shit. Yeah, like, that shit ain't free.

And you're talking about you can't pay the rent. Like, come on. and the other question, Steve, what is the ultimate prize you win if you win forging fire? I think it's 10 grand. Okay. Yeah, that's nothing to sneeze at.

No, totally. I mean, maybe you get called back. And also, like, you're Mark Wahlberg, you're in shape. It's going to be you and four, three fucking insurrectionists that are way out of shape. That are just going to need oxygen halfway through. You totally got this, dude.

And after he wins one, he's probably going to win. He could be in Forged and Fire legends. Yeah. Also, Steve, you are making a great point. We need, like, some sort of website that fancies themselves, you know, listical experts to put out an article that's like, these are the, all of the forged and fire former contestants that participated in Jan 6. It's all of them. It's just, it's the only line. All of them.

I am shocked there wasn't a single, like, arm missing off of a capital police officer. but so he goes to David Ayers the Joker's Hangout by the way absolutely this shit it's totally Jared Letto vibes off of this drug dealer

and it's just like why what this crusty white dude and a room full of like he's got these he's got all this muscle and he's got a babe she was his queen

he was his Kirk King etc. It looks like where it's also like a little bit of a tweaker pad too sure sure Like, she looks pretty out of it, shit. Ronnie, most of it.

Ronnie keeps on asking common if he wants to fuck his girlfriend. Yo, can we do this sword, bro? Oh, no, no. You want to fuck my girlfriend? Oh, no. But I brought, I brought the sword. You asked for a sword. I got you a sword.

And, like, this whole thing's going on. And Walberg's like, all right, like, made you the sword. Now, you know, give me my pills or whatever. And, like, so this bodyguard dude. is counting out all the pills and we've got like this guy's asking him like random trivia questions

about like what's the capital of Burkina Faso and yada yada this guy knows everything there's also a Hattori Hanzo named after you got to do it dude and then so like

Walberg gets the bag and he looks at it and he's like yo bro we said 60 pills for your sword I only see 55 and they like kind of get into it I guess and yeah and this guy's also like, oh, my girl's looking at you. You want to fuck that dude? I'm going to cut her arm off. And it's like, now he has to do super action stuff here. And he like takes the sword from the guy. And, you know, this is kind of an action scene, I guess, right? It was something. I could. It was something, dude. It was like this scene started and I swear to God. Like, I just looked down at my laptop to be like, fight scene commences. And like I looked back up and he had fallen onto that car. Like, it was over with.

Yeah, because he just kind of escapes and then, like, as the cops are coming for some reason, it's like, well, he cuts some dude's hand off or fingers off, which is pretty cool. Oh, yeah, this is the bodyguard. He's like, oh, man, cut my fucking fingers off. It's pretty funny, actually. And then no one can- Those are my dittling fingers. Oh, boy. Diddling out pills, of course, for drug deals.

But then, you know, he just runs away and no one can shoot him. I wonder if that's part of the reincarnation thing. yeah it's bullets just fly by you by the way that's how it works but after he drops out of that car that's when we meet Toby Jones as Porter and like you know here's another guy that more or less rocks and you see him in shit like barbarian sound studio

you know even the fucking movie where he played Truman Capote is a terrible but like what I think like him and Chewettel Like, they just pissed off the wrong people at dinner parties or something. I don't know. The Chilatel thing I'm never going to understand. I know he was supposed to make the fellow cootie movie for like ever with McQueen. And I think he got really depressed that that never went through.

There was a good interview about it. I remember. But like, the thing about this is with Jones, I think it's literally like, you know, sometimes you just do need a seventh car. I mean, really, like, he will do, we make fun of Chuelo. Jones will do anything. Oh, sure. Because he's also, like, that's the thing, he's like,

he's just almost, not a heavy, certainly not because he's like a tiny little man, but like he's got real presents and he's British. So you can kind of slot him in a lot of things. Like, he's doing this role. Like, he's, I mean, like, and this movie is really poor, so it doesn't even factor in this way,

but he's sort of like the Professor X of the Infinites, I'm guessing. is that right I mean I mean I'm not I'm not I'm not criticizing you I'm just saying that

because like literally I don't know what his role is in this movie no idea like he seems to be like higher up because like

what you might call it this lady Sophie Cuxon calls him and she's like oh they found a sword in New York that's you know looks like

you know really special and he's like oh wow this must be is it tread way and like that's kind of it for a while until

how lazy is your script that you're like you're watching Highlander and you'll be like okay then they find the sword and they date it to a certain time and people are like oh wow that's impressive and then they well no they don't interview they don't bring them down to the police station but like that's what it is it's like we're just doing the Highlander again but like you're at like the cool thing about Highlander

is if this was Highlander Mark Wahlberg would just be going to a castle and fucking some lady and I would have enjoyed it. But no, I have to see Toby Jones tell me that this guy is the special guy even though the movie has already told you it.

And it's also, you realize here, it's weird because like, talking about like when the hell this movie takes place, the tech in this movie is like they are sometimes doing futuristic stuff but they're not like Toby Jones has this big like console where he's looking at the sword

and analyzing it like totally digitally. And then Chewetel later in this movie, like towards the end, where he's got like those minority report, like finger gloves thing. What the fuck is that? It's the secret society, just they have advanced technology because they've been around forever. They know everything, like how he can make a sword out of nothing because he just knows everything. Or are they setting it in the future to explain away his fucking weirdness of being a 50 year old, 36 year old? I think it's just finger magic. I think, you know, the gloves were just there for comfort more than that.

that anything like that i think it's literally just finger magic they all finger magic eric it is it's so weird because yes you we do because we wanted to be cool right with with a capital c so it's like oh there's got to be really cool like uh sci-fi shit in this movie but then like set it in the future and or just say like we have unlimited fortunes at our disposal and our technology is far beyond those of those non-reincarnated people you have to say one of those things i mean i i get what you're saying, but, like, I don't want anything else explained because this movie is still going to be explaining itself for another an hour and a half. Yeah. I mean, if we go by, Mark Wahlberg is like just a fucking old dude now and we're told in this movie that he was reincarnated in 1985. So this is

like 2035-ish, right? Mark's in like his fucking 50s, right? So like, yeah, he's 305, 2040s. Oh, he's 50 on the dot. All right. So, yeah, like 2035. I guess. I guess. maybe that tech's going to be around then. It's entirely possible, right? Like, who knows? For prosperity, I'll say he was born in 1971 and you're listening to this in the future. Do the math.

Yeah, bro, I'm 50. But when you plan to live to 150, that's kind of young still. I'm a pup. That's true. I age in wookie years, pro. Yo, I'm going to be as old as Yoda, bro. I wake up every morning.

I do hate speech and I do 3,000 push-up. and I believe in God now so you can't play me I apologize I apologize to the Pope bro to about Ted the movie I was sorry for all the dirty jokes in my bare movies bro

apparently that's true it's on Wikipedia that Mark Wahlberg apologized to Pope Francis over the vulgar humor of Ted and I just imagine the Pope's like what what do you mean the teddy bear a curse

the teddy bear a curse and fuck or did the Pope see it and then give it a bad review dude dude that's what I need is the Pope's letter box by the way

oh yeah so this Ted and Ted too definitely one of the half stars they're all one star and ever reviewed is just one word sinful oh he didn't give

any stars to Ben a Benedetti he just said he just logged that he watched it what does that mean yep yeah no that was just a sly log dude he puts a heart on it that's the one movie he puts a heart on it makes sense though because it's like one of those things like oh you know post frances is really progressive he's got a letterboxed oh but then he just came out against childless couples ah oh this guy just pulls me in every different direction uh so it turns out walberg uh his character here evan macaulay yikes uh gets uh gets he does get arrested and Chewetel

comes in, he's Bathurst and he comes into this interrogation room. Can I ask a question? Yes. What is this accent supposed to be? It's Gomez Adams. Chewetel? Yes. Yeah, I think it's a Gomez. Adams. The Babushka,

Bacoli. Ha, ha, ha. Mortisha, we are nihilists. Is that a Highlander thing as well? Because they're like, oh yeah, we didn't, you know, everyone's just got weird accents in that movie because we, have lived forever and we've been other, you know, you know, nationalities. Yeah, I guess it's like all the other, you know, lifetimes he's lived are like coming into his brain being like, no, you used to talk like this. No, you used to talk like this. Now you

used to talk like this. And that's why everyone thinks I'm schizophrenic. Wednesday, stop waterboarding your brother and waterboard me so I may see God. Right. So that is like a sexual thrill for these fellas is getting waterboarded. He wants to see There's one scene Who cares But there's one scene Where like his number two

Who's this like tall lady That's not Elizabeth Debecky No she politely declined It was like find another six footer For your movie So she's like Her is number two And she's like oh Mark Wahlberg

Is moving on the whatever And he's getting waterboarded By some other lady And then he's like Yes excellent Everything is falling into place Now more waterboarding. And if I

may offer a detail that I'm pretty sure wasn't just me hitting the pen too hard. He's, because the woman is putting a mask on and everything. Correct me if I'm wrong. He's being waterboarding with gasoline. Yes, indeed. Indeed, he is. Yeah, okay.

Yeah. I saw Love Liza last night. The Pope rated Love Liza two stars. He's not so bad. Oh, he's sort of... Oh, you hover the gas. That's so sad. I come out against the childless couples and the gas hafers.

Don't you? RV plain and boat culture is bad. You know, I don't always, you know, I don't know. I usually side with the big man up there, but taking Hoffman like that, you know. Real rift between me and the big man. His son is okay in the licorice pizza. Very good. Very promising.

I love Mario the Pope Pope Mario Yeah boy I wish there was Pope Mario dude Why not? That guy would be cooler But I do but yeah So like you're you go into your boss's office He's getting water poured with gasoline You just got to

Yeah dude I'm on it I go Wow wow wow wow Woof that guy is really weird But he comes in and he He's like Ah yes McCauley interesting And he gives him

all these items like which of these are yours and it's like and which apparently i read this is the this is the test they give to the dolly law that's correct that's correct yo bro i used to be the i'm the dolly llama now isn't that the ultimate fucking irony yes i got these from your native of Boston, here is a half-crushed Sam Adams' cans. Here is a half butt of a cigarette. If they sincerely came out and said the next Dalai Lama after this one was some kid in Boston, honestly, the entire church, their whole religion would crumble to the ground. Yeah, it's a pack of cools that's crunched.

Oh, dude, I used to, you're right, I totally used to smoke menthols. A crumpled up Dunkin' Donuts bag. oh this dropkick murphy's t-shirt with cigarette burns all over it i'm feeling something bro i'm remembering bro it's so sad man so like before i don't know they can continue talking about these trinkets a fucking car drives through the wall yeah this is the blues brothers portion of the film you get a lot of information here that Macaulay, yes, was in, uh, was institutionalized a couple of times. He

cut open his own, he scarred his chest by writing look inside. Very important. And he's also, there's a lot of talk about like, I remember you from the second Punic war. Oh God. Oh, right. We do have, because the other thing

you see kind of throughout this movie until he like, you know, until Walberg's character is seeing the full picture here, he gets these like glimpses of like these flashbacks of these past lives or whatever one of them is definitely like him in some sort of

like ancient-ish like central or South American looking situation and like every time one of those happen specifically you have to laugh that it's Mark Wahlberg in this way absolutely because you hope they all had the same voice

the original guy was making the sword I want him to like oh bro I made a sword If only I could go back in time and hate crime myself Oh shit bro It's pretty cool living during the Incan Empire Oh fuck bro

Was I an apocalyptic Oh my God I guess I have been to Japan Shit But yeah This you know This car drives through It's this woman Nora

I think is the character's name She's the She's Roxy in the Kingsman movie she's like the one lady they allow in the movie She looks like a cross between Rhonda Rousey and Captain America's beard

Oh yeah Whatever her name is Yeah I know you're talking about Emily Something or other Yeah that's yeah yeah But yes no she looks And she's not fantastic As an actress

This is a You went through the entire checklist Everyone said no And then you cast this woman I think both Rhonda Rousey and the beard said, no. I think they were the two above her. Are you talking about the agent Carter?

Yeah. No, no, no. Agent Carter's daughter. Yes, Asian Carter's daughter. Yeah, okay. I'm going to look at this up right now. I remember Agent Carter. I don't remember the daughter.

I know they'll be killed in certain circles. The daughter comes into play and I think the second Captain America. Yeah, she's a winter soldier and her name is, here it comes. Come on. Blah, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-ha. Lee Van Camp would you guess that Emma Lee Van Camp

Oh Emily Van Cleef Yeah Lee Van Cleef for sure And Lee Van Cleef as Peggy Carter's daughter Come on Steve We're going to go to the movies tonight And we're going to make out Or maybe granddaughter or something I just watched here's the thing I've been secretly doing

Because it's like not great But it's they're 30 minutes and it's fine I've been watching that what if none of it is good and I just watched like the zombie one where she's like kind of in it for a second sometimes you just don't need to make a TV show

What is the zombie one? It's like Bruce Banner comes back the story is Bruce Banner comes back to Earth Like a zombie He comes back to Earth because he's like what they do in the movies

like he blasts back to Earth trying to warn of the impending invasion or whatever and when he gets to Earth a zombie apocalypse that has had happened. And so like most of the Avengers also have turned into zombies except for like a select few. And that's just what it is. There was a Marvel comic line of zombies. I don't know if it's the same story, but that's, that's what it is. And it's not great. Anyway. But so like you, she rescues him and she's got the funniest part about this movie is this

so they're called themselves the infinites. They have this like branding and all this stuff. And, like, she's in this supercar. She's like, now you have to drive. And she pushes a button and the steering wheel goes on, she pushes, I'm sorry, the infinite button. And it goes the steering wheel goes on his side of the car. He's like, oh, great, the steering wheel just moved. That's normal.

And it's like, you are not this character. You're right, Eric. He's way too old to be this sort of like puppy dog kind of like sarcastic. Like, I'm too young for this shit. For a guy like Dylan O'Brien's age or like a Tom Holland or C, you know, Chris Evans. Like literally that was it. And because it does, it's also the kind of humor is very marvely like, oh, guess that happened. Yes, exactly.

Uh-oh. It would be awesome. It would be awesome if throughout this movie, every time he was like shocked about something, it was just Mark Wahlberg like, oh, oh. Now you're driving the car. they found your sword uh oh that's a great catchphrase for evan mcculley you're going to drive this motorcycle onto a plane uh oh

this norseman is going to give up his life for you uh oh he's dead now oh my fucking god this movie it sucks man so what is the fuck is the egg by the way we're talking about this egg thing Yeah. What is it? It's a McGuffin for sure, but... Yeah, so Chuettoll has made this...

What's a Bathurst, has made this big egg. Well, it looks bigger when it's in use. In actuality, it's very small, which will come into play in a little bit here. Also, like when you're shopping for sex toys, dude, that's the exact. When you're looking at vibrating eggs, you're like, that looks a little too big to fit in my ass. But then when you get it home, we're like, oh, it's not as big as it looked on the website. That's why Bathurst made the egg is because he had tried. all the store-bought vibrating eggs.

And he's like, these are not getting me off. These fucking things-Tisha, I'm going to do it myself. So I'm going to make the best fucking sex egg there ever has been. It's going to end the planet. From all of his memories of being a sex toy merchant in Venice all those years ago. Is that what that plays about? Yes, it is. Back in 1900s.

Yeah, that's why it got so wet there. God. That's awful. but no the egg destroys all life very it's interesting

when it kills everybody they kind of drift off in particles like some movie some movie that was

a small hit snap a blink yeah oh fuck fuck I'm forgetting

it guys I forgot the movie I forgot the story uh oh Oh my god Hold on I'm sorry Now you're saying that Mark Wahlberg

Would be the young plucky Spider-Man Yes I think that's what I was getting at there Yeah I'm just Oh my God I'm so young You guys are so old Remember that old movie The Empire Strikes Back No Mark

You really shouldn't want to have sexual tension With Aunt May No you really don't want to have that You also don't want to have it with Zendaya though so bad we're really in trouble here during that fucking car chase though because Chihuetel's coming after them

and this whole thing they cause some big like car explosion and Walberg like skids their car through a fireball and like there's cars flying everywhere speaking of the Blues Brothers but like this is some of like the worst

CGI car pile on I've seen a really long time the effects are not there with this movie the action is just so nothing like you know the best the best that that should be the exciting part right and Anton Fuqua theoretically is a good action director

but not not here no no I mean because you're not you're not given the resources to make real action I'm sorry it's all just cartoon shit and your computer budget is terrible but that's the thing with Fuqua is I just don't think he's made supernatural is not his back

you need to get him in a western you need to get him on the streets I need like just like like shootout violence is his thing I would say keep him away from the Western as well that magnificent seven remade was not very good that's fair it's got its moments but overall

yeah it's not great but she so in this like I think it's maybe after they drive through the fireball she is further explaining to him because they know that the audience isn't going to get it so they make the protagonist keep not understanding it either

and she's just like do you ever think about destiny and he's like destiny nobody's got time for destiny which is fuck dude mark walberg should never say the word destiny in a movie but she's like you're the same person over different lives you can forge a sword because you were a blacksmith and I'm like it was the one time where I was like

okay I guess I did also need that because this is kind of around when I started understanding the movie yeah Cool if like when he's eventually reborn his spoiler alert at the

stinger scene at the end like if that kid can be like oh I could I could manage a restaurant really well man I know

I know the the entire front line of the 2008 New England Patriots I can make hand stretch noodles not bad all right

nice little town I got here but we are told that, you know, the nihilists want the world, and the believers are trying to leave humanity better off than they found it goes. Doing a fucking shit job for centuries.

Yes. Fucking it up left and right, honestly. So he goes on the plane because he's like, fuck it, man. I might as well, you know, something, something. He's like, oh, I don't believe in reincarnation. It's just, it's the, uh, the philosophical equivalent of better luck next time.

Any of these jokes working for you? Oh, God. And it's like, because it's impossible for him to be snappy. No, it's not. He can't deliver, I guess what this is, they're hoping this was supposed to be, which is like ratat-tat-tat kind of dialogue. Yeah. And I'm sorry, you're making a movie with Mark Wahlberg, folks. What he says any of this, it doesn't sound like he even knows what he's saying.

Yes, that's absolutely true. I think he has a fundamental non-understanding of what this movie is about. If you ask Mark Walker. Welcome to the club, dude. No, I know. But if you ask Mark Wahlberg. In an interview, like, please explain, you know, the story of the film Infinite to me. He would be like, ah, uh-oh.

It's about believing in yourself, bro. You know, and about, you know, hope is what it's about. Getting up and staying on that hustle, bro. Rise and grind infinitely, I believe. Around here, I think, is the absolute worst line of this movie because they get in a plane and she takes him to was I looking at this right? It's like a hidden island or some sure

whatever it is and he goes he and because this what's amazing about this is this line and for folks at home who didn't get it we will clarify here what we're doing he says to her it's a long way from Arthur Avenue Steve Sadek explain why this is insane

because we should say also in this movie he is doing his damnedest to flatten out his accent. He's like it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's, it's like, it's, a long way to Arthur Avenue means, uh, he's from the Bronx. That's, that's, he's a famous neighborhood, neighborhood in the Bronx. And so that is giving you a high sign. And, you know, the movie takes place in New York, Vancouver, but it takes place in New York and the early going. So he's. And also those, from the Bronx, but it's possible. I mean, it doesn't.

obviously necessarily mean this but there's also a good shot if that's the thing that he's referencing he's also the movie's telling you he's even the you know I guess with the last name no but like I was also like is this movie trying to say like he is Italian no no I think

you could be Irish from the Bronx for sure like you could just yeah no I know but like the specific of like I think Arthur Avenue I think like the Italian restaurants oh for sure the markets blah blah but just overall just like the idea of him being from the Bronx is hysteria I feel like the New York Irish don't sound as distinct as the Boston Irish

and just set it in Boston because a lot of these streets we're using for New York are so not New York I would believe them more as Boston. It's aggressively not New York City. Yes, movie. Again, it looks like Maryland for most of it. I don't know what the fuck is going on.

Like, it drove me crazy, honestly. I like, and he could have, from Arthur Avenue, you could have an Irish father and an Italian mother. Yes, that's also definitely, yeah. two greatest alcoholics bloodlines together, finally. While we're quickly talking about New York geography,

I know someone is going apeshit because we're actually doing this. And I apologize, sir, but imagine if butt-fuck Montana, they made the movie about your hometown and they got it all wrong. Imagine how you'd feel. You'd feel really bad.

They don't make movies about my area, sir. Well, maybe they should. But-Fuck Montana, population two. one's getting the butt fucked and the other one is being is doing the butt fucking yeah turns out it doesn't make more people but it is pleasurable

it's a ton of fun dude absolutely I mean he is you know we're finding out all about Treadway and my Treadway was so important and it's something there's some dumb fucking line here too

where it's like something something the 50s and he's like oh the 50s something something or other and then like this Nora character goes, uh, yeah. Oh, that's what it is. Because the name of this guy is Heinrich Treadway. And he goes, wow, Heinrich, that's quite the name for the 50s.

And this girl goes, uh, 1750s. The line is even stupid because he was like, huh, the 50s, bro. Really good time for music, but I guess it was bad for names. That's what it is. Really good time for music. You are, the 50s, like what you are right now. you are well and he we should say he's got this snappy young boy haircut it is just ill-fitting and you know here's how ill-fitting it is dude it is a little boy's haircut you put it on a guy

like mark walberg that's a fucking white supremacist haircut it is it just it happens because all them white supremacists just got little baby boy haircuts man well no i i join the proud boys because i'm pride i'm prideful i like myself but no not that kind of pride bro no no oh fuck wait a Oh, no. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. No, gay, bro. Uh-oh.

I hung out with Gavin McGuinness. Uh-oh. Uh-oh, I'm in the Capitol. I will. This is a good point. Time to make to mention. They don't say this explicitly, but it almost is, it is what we're doing because of either homophobia or transphobia or whatever.

If you're a boy, you're a boy in every lifetime. If you're a girl, you're a girl in every life. That makes no sense. Dumb as dirt stupid. Did they actually say that? I forget. I must have been not watching the movie at that point. They don't, but like if you think about it,

every time you're talking about Mark Wahlberg's previous life, he's a guy. It's never like, oh, when you were a countess, whatever, you know what I mean? And there's this, the Sophie Cuxon character, her deal is, which we'll find out who cares, is she is an immortal lover of this other dude who dies in the first, the first real, and he, which we'll find out something, something gets his brain, his soul stolen onto a computer. He's a microchip.

This is where when they introduced that element of this movie, I was like, pause. Not enough weed has been consumed and I had to get up. I'd fucking light another joint and keep the train going because I was like, we're putting souls into computers now.

So it's a gun called a dethroner and what it does is the bullet has like, oh my de-throen. Grower. Yeah, because I guess, because they're gods, they view themselves as. Is that what they're? I don't know. Anyway, so the bullet, like, has a little microchippy on it.

And once it kills you, it sucks your soul into the microchip. And now you cannot be reincarnated. So the nihilists will stop the cycle of reincarnation. And yes. But so that's happened to her boyfriend. And Mark Wahlberg goes into a room. And there's all these pictures of all these women throughout the ages. It's like, wow, these are all you.

Like, how? I mean, like, it's obviously Mark Wahlberg. All right, I'll do your reincarnation movie. But I ain't never been no lady. Yep, absolutely. And it's just the dumbest. Like, that's really a way to make your movie interesting. Exactly.

And you're just wallberging it up. Well, I mean, a woman in the stinger, the rebirth of him should be a lady. Well, what do you expect? You read about this. Jake E. Ralling did a pass. Oh, yeah. A good polish here. Make sure.

Is that why there's Jewish goblins in this running the banks? Also, end the finger magic. All the magic is from there, really. Careful, Eric, you're going to have to apologize to her on Twitter. I cannot believe John Stewart walked that back. What a fucking coward. He should have stayed on the farm or wherever the fuck he was these past 15 years. Seriously.

Yeah, this is fucking farm or animal rescue out in Jersey, whatever he's doing, stay out there. Never apologize. Of all, apologize to people. Never apologize to J.K. Rowling about anything. Nope. ever. But like if I woke up, if I had this immortal reincarnation thing and I kept showing up as a dude, I'd get really annoyed. Like, oh, really? Yeah.

This stuff? Yeah. So, like, also at this little island facility secret base, wherever they are, Mark Wahlberg meets Garrick, who is the actor Liz Carr. You guys who watch devs might remember her. She was on a pretty prominent episode at one point. If you haven't seen devs, by the way, great fucking show. Really good. Never said, but I

like Alex Garland, so I totally forgot about it. I should get back. It was one of those things. Oh, I want to watch that and then it went away and then I never thought about it again. Absolutely God to hear, Nick Offerman stuff. Yeah, it was one of those like Hulu or FX on Hulu Barry jobs. And like,

if you didn't know, if you didn't actively know about it, you weren't going to find it. But anyway, so this one I'm sorry, I feel like the only way I can watch all these shows now is I need to start being reincarnated. I really think that's the only way I'm going to get through it all, dude.

It's totally understandable, man. I've just been born and I remember every episode of Married with children. Oh, sick dude. Now I'm just, all right, in this lifetime, I'm just going to go through all the Hulu shows. And then the next lifetime, I'll do all the Amazon.

Now I'm watching HALITs. Oh, crap, bro. I can remember all of Supernatural. from the beginning wheel of time tell me about it oh fuck bro every episode of mozart in the jungle what the fuck dude put me in a computer i don't want to do this anymore this guy is a genius reincarnated person he could quote every fucking episode of mozart in the jungle he even remembers the malcolm mcdowl shit it's incredible tells him about this device

which are, did I hear this? Did I hear this right? Are they calling it the yang? I missed it. Whatever, whatever you're about to say,

I think, I don't know. So the device that, like, he has to put the egg into at the end of the movie. Oh. The world killer thing.

And I could have sworn Liz Carr's character called it the Yang, and it will kill everything on earth. Because if there's nothing left alive, and this is something that's interesting, they say there's nothing left alive

to if that's the case if there's nothing left alive on the planet there's nothing to reincarnate to but I was like nothing at all left alive means like are we saying that we could go into dogs and fucking trees and shit I mean we're interesting

obviously I mean whatever the gauntlet rules were it's the same thing gotlet egg same fucking just take a second and do a parlor scene and set the table better so that I know that this is like a Genesis device that'll kill the entire planet. I feel like we need like, show me, you know,

do your magic fingers and show me a model of the earth being destroyed or something. Well, you get that shitty, like, people being blown away by sand, but also kind of like T2 thing. Yes, absolutely. That is 100% a Terminator 2, flash forward mind thing, yeah.

And it's also very, I don't feel so good, Mr. Stark as well. Yep. It's fucking, I fucking hate Infinity War, but it's fucking insane to rip it off like, that. It's unbelievable. Holy shit, that felt

freaking real, is what he says. When after he has the vision. It's like a mother and a kid like basically just blipping away. Yeah, turning to like ash, yeah. Yeah. That felt freaking real.

Oh man. Frickin, dude. Just come on. And it kept like, dude, you're 50 years old. You're saying freaking. Like, come on. Yeah. he meets the group here.

There's also some big Viking motherfucker. Dude, this Icelandic guy, man, what a bad character. Well, you always have, from now on, you're going to have to have at least one person in any big movie cast like this, have to have at least one person who was in Game of Thrones.

Has to have. You have to have at least one person. I just went to his page here. He played Lemon cloak, and I don't even know who that was. Of course, you have to. You have to do it. it. And I read every book

and I read, you know, watched every episode and I have no idea what that is. He's also in Vikings obviously. Clearly. That's how that works. Oh, he was on the Star Show Vikings. Yes. Yeah. I mean, I recognize him from fucking Eurovision, that terrible movie

that everybody liked last year. He was also in Atomic Blonde. Oh, really? And this is Johannes Johan who the way they have him decked out in this movie with the beard and the hair such as it is, he looks like one of the jackass guys he does

welcome to jackass he looks like the one that would be now reincarnated oh man he's Ryan done reincarnated that would be I mean that that'd be great for jackass forever is just like they start getting reincarnated that would be fucking no man are we ever going to get to see that movie

it's supposed to come February it's supposed to be coming out wow yeah we'll see I'll believe it when my ass is in the seat I mean Morbius got pushed back again guys. It has to stay within 2022 because I need to do that for Worst of 23. I have to do it. I almost guarantee they're adding something in

for No Way Home. They're doing some tie. I just feel it in my bones with this shit now. I saw the trailer for it finally. Actually, when I went to see No Way Home and my reaction was, oh, that's what this is? Yeah. I think because I'm not familiar with the character, of course. And I was just like, oh.

Oh, boy. Got it. So, like, whatever. I mean, also at this point in the movie, he should just, and we're learning a lot of stuff which we're talking about, which is the dethroning thing.

We learned all about Sophie Cookson's, like, immortal love situation that her boyfriend is on fucking, Chiwitil Ejafour's hard drive and, et cetera, et cetera. It's next to my pornography. And he, oh, private. Browsing. I'm looking at your boyfriend now.

Oh, my brother, Fester. I see you've been on my computer. I swear to God, he's only doing Gomez-Adams with this. It doesn't make any other sense. And like no one said no to him because he's like, you're lucky I'm in your movie. But like at this point, because it just, it's

so annoying that it takes Mark Wahlberg even more to remember who he was. Like at this point it just starts to get, it starts to drag. it's like, you still don't remember? He's like, no, bro, I don't. What's an immortal? And it's like, Jesus fucking Christ.

Put it together. Meanwhile, she was Elijah for, in my favorite scene of the movie, runs afoul of Toby Jones. Oh, my God, dude. I think this is secretly the reason I wanted to do this movie. Because he drowns him in honey? No, first, he shoots both of his hands with arrows. I almost fell over.

my chair just now, just thinking of it. I'm not kidding. I lead back to laugh. It's the crossbow thing. And then his number two says like, isn't there a better way to do this or something? He's like, well, the old ways are the best ways. Yeah, she says something like, you know, we have guns now or something like that.

But dude, here's the thing. Toby Jones getting an arrow through his hand is fucking hilarious. Yep. Toby Jones getting arrows through both of his hands is like Mark's brothers level. Comedy perfection.

Poetry is what it is. I was screaming laughing at this. Oh my God. Then him getting like drowned in honey is pretty erotic. Oh, dude, that was doing it. If you fancy yourself someone who's into like both like weird gnome-esque little English guys and fucking sticky play, this was doing it for you. Because it's like this big woman. Or is it Chuitel or the tall woman doing it to him?

I forget. I think it's the Or is it the woman who is implementing the gasoline waterboarding? It's her doing the drowning because a bathurst is like talking to Oh, got it right, yeah. So like, oh, you're right.

Oh, dude, Toby Jones is hard as a rock in this scene. Oh, man. I want to get drowned by a giant woman. He's not a tall man that Toby Jones. No, not at all. That's why when they were like, oh, you want to come back for some of these their Captain America sequels or whatnot?

not one, just put your tiny little voice in the computer instead. Could you cast me with Charlize Theron? Maybe once or twice. She's awfully tall, you know. I want to climb her. Dude, a live action B movie with Toby Jones and Elizabeth DeBecke. It's his little bumblebee suit. Yes, do it.

They wouldn't have to do any of that Gandalf's CGI technology. No, exactly. It would look so real. It would look so real. he's dressed in a little bee costume and he's just like, oh yes, it is I, Barry B. Benson and boy, I'm horny for you, Elizabeth DeBickey.

Oh, maybe we can add a sister character and cast Gwendolyn Christie. Oh, my God, that's wow. Stop the show for a minute to think about this one. We'll be right back. oh that's lovely but dude this honey he and here's the thing about the honey

for the first like second of it I was like that's not so bad I was like I could fucking take that honey and then after a while I was like no I would drown with that honey but I mean like poor fucking Toby Jones this is actually like he has to look at the script

like Antoine are we when do we cut does the honey go all oh it's going all the way and you're going to literally drown in honey we have people on hand to make sure you don't die but you to get you ought to catch you hey hey toby you want to eat tonight you better eat some fucking honey first no toby it's very important when i'm shooting the scene what i'm going to have you do is it's just going to be smeared all over your face as if you're a baby with like cake on its face

that's what the look we're going to give you toby is just honey smeared all over your face it is after you vomit it up here's the thing like there's there's all of the stuff with like it's getting poured in his mouth and all over his face and whatever and it is fucking hilarious. This little guy's just choking on honey. But then at some point, like, Chuitel mentions it's, I don't know what he's talking about.

It's like something, something, something. This is, you know, you have to have faith or something like that. And Toby Jones manages to get all this honey out of his mouth long enough to be like, this line is so fucking terrible. He's like, faith, blah, blah, blah, blah. Faith.

And he's like spinning honey all. No, because he's like, you've never found faith. And you don't know. anything about friendship and loyalty. And he's got all this funny. He's like poo bear. Oh, man, he can be making the honey this way for Elizabeth DeBecke.

He's like feeding her like by coughing it up. Uh-huh. Oh, totally. But Chuitel says, thank you for enlightening me. And then just murders him. So they're like, all right. You know, we tried to do this like neural pathways. There's a quick scene where, like, he has this little helmet on.

He sort of looks like pinhead. And they're trying to, like, shock him. Because they basically determine that, like, his days of being treated with all this medication for schizophrenia. And we are told, I think he also received electroshock therapy. They're like, oh, that fucked up. You're, like, you know, your puberty remembering all of your past lives. So we're trying to, like, jumpstart his brain, basically. And he sort of remembers, like, fighting with Rupert friend.

and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But then, like, basically it's like, oh, yeah, you realize your path life was in Mexico. You know, where did you hide that egg? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he can't get it. So they're like, all right, here's the last thing. And we're basically kind of stealing the way we sort of name characters in the Matrix.

Oh, big time. We are trying to do in the Matrix thing here. They're like, we have to take him to the artisan. And they go to the artisan, who is Jason Benzukas, who is doing his, best to inject anything into this movie that's good. Some life. It would be some life in this. But it's not. It's not there. Zooks tries his hardest

man, but he can't carry this movie on his back. The other thing is we should say they everyone makes it to the artisan except for the Icelandic dude because Chuitel invades. By the way, I realize Oh no, you're getting a little mixed up. Yeah. Am I? Okay, sorry.

The old lady. The old lady gets it first. Liz Carr. Because basically when they go to see your artisan, they leave their compound pretty much unprotected, they go, and he needs to find out where they're going. So he starts to get into, he destroys their compound and kills Liz Carr. And like, yes, she is disabled. And you want to talk about things this movie doesn't need.

Oh, God. She gives us, he gives us an impassioned speech about, he's like, why would you want to live like this? And she's like, I, you know, I'm a person too. And it's like, I know, man. It's just like, you know, it's in a better movie, it would make a lot of, it would be really interesting because like, that's an interesting character, right? She's a disabled character who is reincarnated and it, you know, she doesn't, you know, she finds power in that and all that stuff. All that's great, but not in this movie, but the 30 second. It's like, one of her three lines is I'm a person too.

Like, it's not, that's how that works. But I think it's also just because like he's kind of pissed off because like they used to fuck, you find out. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We were fucking all the time. and now I can't. I know that game. But you're right.

You're right. I got ahead. So they get there to beat the artist in and Zooks is like, oh, is he blocked? And so they decide like they can do this other kind of thing where they're going to like drown him in a fucking back to tank or something.

Yes. And meanwhile, so the best part of this whole movie, aside from Toby Jones getting, tortured is the artisan lives because he's a heat they say he's a self-proclaimed hedonist and he lives at a gambling a casino like a Monte Carlo

kind of uh cantobite kind of a thing going on upstairs and so meanwhile you know he bathurst finds out from this car where they're going and it's just it's fucking chew it till edge of four at a poker table with an enormous

iPad and like the dealer has to be like uh sir no Netflix at the table sir Yep. Totally. You're either gambling or you're off somewhere watching Schitt's Creek. Look, I like Big Mouth too. I think it's a fine program, but not here. Bet is to you, Squid Game. What are we doing? What's going on over there, pal? With the way that gambling establishments, rightfully, are always, like, very paranoid about people ripping them off or cheating and whatever. Like, the mafia would be fucking on this guy in two seconds. Like, get this goddamn iPad off the table, buddy.

I know Oscar season's coming up, but the power of the dog really should be watched at home. You're ready with the mafia angle. This is a quick way to get reincarnated. Oh, definitely. You pull on an iPad at a high stakes poker game, you're done for.

You just take a huge, like a camera on your shoulder and just put it on there. Yes, sir. I do. I'm glad they have Seinfeld. Yeah, the aspect ratio really annoys me. But the bet is to you, sir. 20 to you.

Oh, yeah. It's in the Disney Plus menu. If you go to the bonus features, you can actually switch the Simpsons back to 4-3. I know. I wish they did it for other shows, too. I don't know. I don't know. But also, bet is to you, sir. Yeah, Boba Fed is on Wednesdays. I know the Mandalorian was on Fridays, but it's actually on Wednesday. Yeah, I know. I know. But so, Manzukas puts him in this tank. He officially, like he fucking, dies on the table but then like a whoops comes back and this is like he remembers being you know styles in a previous life and the fucking treadway egg inside him thing oh i know everything now bro and at this point bathurst uh breaches the compound because he's uh he finished his episodes and uh he's ready to go down there so and then this time aslandic guys like i will fight him for some reason right There's another character here, Trace, who this character is just assassinated right here.

That's how they know that they're like getting, you know, the hit is coming. Like, this woman just falls over like, oh, I guess she was assassinated, okay. It's funny because she's just going to come back. Like they make such a big deal about how like the microchip people are like being made. But like, she's just somebody who got shot and has come back. So I was like, oh, so you don't even have to mourn her.

Oh, yeah, totally. I mean, it's just kind of a. knowing because I think an Icelandic dude is in a relationship where I was like, well, I have to either kill myself or wait 30 years to find her again. Like, it's really difficult.

Right. Or at least 17, dude. Whoa. Dating your 60s is tough, you know. I mean, I guess you can have an argument to be had there, right? Like, technically, I'm a thousand and technically she is too.

Oh, yeah. Oh, she's an old soul. Yeah, nice try, dude. You're still going to jail. Yep, that's what Doug Huntress said. I think that's exactly what he's You know here's the thing Two little kids could get away with it

Right? Because you know how grampies are always just like Look at them, they're dating Oh, you want to hold your hand with the girl from Are you going to get married when you grow up? And then you're like, I remember World War II And you're like, what? There is a rad moment here.

It's kind of the only cool little action part of the movie is they realize that Chuitel's you know breaking in right here they all try to escape and Manzukas is like oh he does have a line here where it's kind of L.O.L. He's like

open weapons room door but then like the dudes come in and there's all these like little they sort of look like a little Harry Potter quidditch little snitch things fly up and they're spinning around and they all blow up and kill these dudes like Manzukas's character has like

the place booby trapped it was kind of cool yeah i mean i i always like him in stuff but this movie is obviously awful it might be improved if like he had a bigger role like if they combined him and toby jones into one character yeah that's actually a good call because he is it's interesting he's always bringing a presence to whatever like even in fucking that third john wick like which i still like like it's cool when he pops up because it's like you know fresh new new blood to his story yeah i like him and that i don't like the movie all of John Way 3 but yeah

if he was in this more throughout and we had like a someone who's actually comedic and funny to be the comedy relief or something because this movie it takes itself seriously and it really shouldn't

yeah I think I think you should have gone rid of Toby Jones had Martin short in that role Oh definitely as Clifford Jay's playing a fucking eight year old You try to

take away his dinosaur, he kills you. So he's like, oh shit, bro, look. Oh, that's right. Because I'm sorry, he says to what Chuitel is watching on the iPad is not Netflix, but he's actually got a security camera of what's going on in the artist's room. Mark Wahlberg wakes up and is like, oh, look inside, bro. That means I cut, I cut open my body and put the egg inside when I was that younger guy. When he was that younger guy, I don't think we mentioned it, but he was like searing. his body shut with a cigarette lighter from the car.

It's insane. I mean, also, like, there's, I mean, not to be an asshole, but there's, there are easier places to cram an egg if you got to fucking cram an egg. Absolutely, man. I mean, just fucking pull over first. Sit on it. Get yourself a hotel room, get relaxed. Exactly. And get like a lot of lubricant. And then just take care of it. It's called the reverse burdo in case you're wondering. It definitely is. It definitely is. the egg goes into you bow wow well wait

wait it's going it's going opposite so owb oh man just shoving eggs into burto oh fuck he made a lot of magic eggs obo

so now with this new found information we go back to the we're at the Bathurst estate in Scotland, I think we're told. Which, by the way, if you're ripping Highlander like this, you've got to keep Scotland out of this movie. You don't do it.

This is one of the biggest mysteries of the movie, I think. How do they still have this guy's body? It's a bling and you miss it. It's a blinking thing. For some reason, it's stupid. They preserve any old bodies that these people have. I guess just to go down memorandumous.

relayed to like oh remember what I used to look like that and he's preserved like Lenin essentially in like water and such wow me me from 1850 now that was a hog fuck totally look at that fucking thing unreal they're just doing arguments it's him and Toby Jones like no back in the 50s I had the bigger dick no I did I had the bigger dick you know what open up the files bodies yeah you want to go down to the basement we'll check we'll check let's check we're Go to the archive. We were trying to have a nice dinner party, but now we've got to go to the archive. All right.

Toby, you're right. Yes. In the 1850s, you did have a dump truck ass. Okay. I forgot that. And yes, I'm looking at, I'm looking at, I'm looking. Don't shove that thing at me. Yes, you had a dump truck ass.

I get it. Don't, don't you start saying grow or not to show her. Okay. We're looking at the sizes here. We know what's going on. Well, to be fair. I mean, they're in the pool. They're in the pool.

We've got to dry these bodies out to get an accurate measurement. Yeah, get the tape measure out. really do it absolutely so he gets this egg man and he just is like here's to the end of all things and it was like like the movie well because here two things one meanwhile mark walberg got shot in the big thing and it takes him like a long time to get better from that it's like just don't even have this in your movie like manzukas is kind of nursing him back to health and it's like okay oh that's right everybody moves on but manzukas is like babysitting walberg while he's like in a coma.

No, now it's just Sophie Cookson. She's going to go in by herself. Oh, right. The whole team's been fucking killed. I forgot.

Yeah. So it's like, it's just her. Like this is this big speech of like, oh, we can't let it go in alone, bro. But. Yeah.

Great. Yes, exactly. And he's got, Bathurst has this army. And I'm like, question. It's just arm.

Do they, are they all, uh, nihilists or does some people just think that they're getting 60K ear here? What's going on? That's a good question. Probably some just 60K. Bears. Well, then, are you, because you got to make sure, you know, if those hired goons, like, live through this job, you don't want them going around, like, you know, talking out of school about what you are.

Oh, you just kill them after them. Oh, sure. Well, they're all going to die when the egg goes off anyway, so that's the thing. That's true. But boy, like, it's, I guess, you know, everybody's got to eat. Folks will do things for money, of course. But, like, if I was some goon, and I've got Chuitel Ejofor being like, all right, here's the deal, hired goon. I am this reincarnated maniac who has lived many lives.

And I'm trying to bring about the end of the world. I'm in. You know, like, yada, yada, yada, I'll give you a 60K if you try to kill this woman. I'd be like, all right, you could have left out the whole like whatever crazy shit you're talking about. But you know what I mean? Like trying to just get one of these guys. So that's why I'll kill somebody for money, dude. That's all I need.

That's why I just sort of assumed because it would just take so long to explain what's going on to these guys that they had to have been here on it. The movie doesn't even explain it to the audience. No, not for it. So whatever. So like there's this assault on the compound. this is when he gets out his fucking drug. A, she has a perfect shot on this dude. She's had fucking lifetimes

to perfect this shot and she misses. Well done. And what he does here, because like, yes, she fires through the window, misses him and the other the tall assistant is here also. The tall assistant very like slowly moves out of the way

and I was like, you got to react better than that actor. But then also like Chuitel just goes from standing in front of a window to like just to the side of it. was like any real baller assassin would like shoot through that fucking wall and totally kill him. Like, oh, he must just be right there. Let's take a chance and shoot him. The tall assistant is Wallace Day playing Agent Shin.

You may remember her as Superman's grandmother on the TV show Crypton. Of course. Of course I remember that. Why wouldn't I remember that? Oh, that's sad. And I'm fairly confident that Agent Shin is just information from fucking IMDB. I don't know that she's mentioned once. No, not at all.

Probably not. What's amazing is this, the actress is playing essentially the same role she played in Kingsman 2. Like literally, this is what happens at the end of Kingsman. He has to go and she's trying to shoot from afar and it doesn't work. It's good for you for remembering Kingsman 2. Seared into my brain. That piece of shit. And, you know, so like this is the big thing.

He gets on his fucking dream. drone gloves. It looks like it's the end for her. But uh-oh, here comes Manzukas and Walberg. Manzukas has a helicopter and Walberg has like an off-road vehicle. It's a lot. Fun times.

And it's... You know where this kind of like action scene is cool like in a James Bond movie? Yes. Not in this Mark Wahlberg Live Forever movie. Well, they definitely put James Bond in the blender when they made this. For sure. It's all in there, dude. That's the best thing. is like, take little bits from great movies

and then you'll have a piece of shit. If this was in a Bond movie, you would have like that fucking score kicking in and shit. And this is just like, I don't even think there's, is there music during this? Maybe. There must have been that I don't remember. Probably right, but I don't remember it.

So at this point, Superman's grandmother fights Sophie Cuxon. I'll never stop to get tired of that. And she winds up there's like a you know because Sophie Cuxon wants to go and destroy his wall of like old

old soul the sole hard drive container meanwhile which is like yeah that's cool but you have to help Mark Wahlberg because what he's fighting for is the end of existence like yes I know that can happen after that you can totally blow up that hard drive

after exactly like more people need to be worried about the end of existence like I know we want to have like different objectives but the end of existence is a pretty big deal. But my boyfriend's up there. My boyfriend. Then he, this is when Mark Wahlberg,

Chewytel Edge of course, hey, he's activated his egg like 20 minutes ago. There's no countdown. I feel like he's just like, did I do it right? Is it, is it, is it, it's green, is green good or green bad? There's not really a demo phase

for something like this. You can't really do it. You just gotta do it. Wait, hold on. I'm on the phone. with optimum right now. Yes, it's blinking white, not a solid white light. Is that good or bad? Oh, it went to red again. Okay, we have a problem here.

Okay, could you connect it on your side, maybe? Boy, how embarrassing, right? It's like, you're trying to, like, bring about the end of times and you can't do it due to, like, bad internet connection. We don't... We don't have Fios yet.

I feel like there's a 5G coronavirus thing we could do with this she's on a plane now I'm sorry you go well no I was just going to say that the fight between Nora and Agent Shin is so fucking lackluster she stabs this Agent Shin like immediately and the girl drops

dead and that's the end of it yeah she's like oh wow and then she's like she's all wounded and she's trying to get to the wall and like Manzukas helps her and that's sort of fun Manzucas actually has kind of one of the most badass parts in the movie because like all these other goons are ready to kill

Nora and then here comes fucking Zooks with this helicopter and just shoots dudes with a helicopter gun absolutely sure he's having fun here but so yeah after after the helicopter assault or whatever this is Walberg

Walberg is on this motorcycle and he's chasing after Chitel who's on this huge plane trying to take off And he used the sword to get on the plane, that sort of something. Oh, God, damn. Wait, he, now is he on top of the plane at this point? He makes the jump with the motorcycle onto the plane.

The motorcycle skids off, but then he puts the sword down to stop himself. Yes, he uses the sword to like walk around the plane and hold himself up there. And then he opens the hatch with it. After he realizes he has magical powers and remembers. his life as a young man in 1985 before he was born this is

this is Neo discovering that he's the one in the hallway this is exactly it he's like oh it doesn't matter like I'm impervious to like wind resistance like he stands up on the wing of this plane see this thing is like they're trying it's like you have to do a thing where it's like the less

of us or like the more of us dethrone the more stronger we get or something yeah there you go that's something And like, yeah, I've lived a hundred times or whatever. So now I'm really, really special. That's right. Then the Highlander people would really have a case. Then we're going to court.

It's the quickening or whatever, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the only thing that's kind of cool about this, and if it was a movie where it wasn't like just rampant garbage, CGI, it would be kind of cooler is like the way he gets the motorcycle on the plane is like driving it basically off the side of a, you know, Scottish Highland Hill, you know, and times it so that he gets as the plane is flying right. It's like, it's kind of rad, but it's just like all really bad computer animation, so it really

takes you out of it. Well, you're right into saying that this is narratively the Neo moment where he realizes. But as far as the actual what's going on in the movie, this is the Tom Cruise portion of the evening. Yeah, right. Because we're doing the motorcycle stunt into, this is incredible. they jacked an action scene from a movie that did bad

the remake of the mummy where they're being bounced all over the fucking plane while there's something's anchored to the middle of it is exactly so you you couldn't just take the ones that made money huh

you had to take the ones that also crash and burn we're gonna get it right this time sure of course you are and I mean you know for what it's worth and yeah that movie the mummy I completely

fucking greened out to it it does suck but like that sequence kind of cool. The whole crash sequence in that movie is pretty cool and you're right

steal from the best and steal from the worst I guess I remember that movie being bad but there's no way it can be worse than this

can't it? I don't think so I don't think so that has a faddle Russell Crow in it it can't be worse that's true and I mean

you kind of want a big speech between these two to go off but no they just dance to the Mamushka and fight each other oh god and you what so it's the this bomb device the genesis device the egg is in it right

and it's gonna go it's armed or whatever and they're you know while they're fighting further and further straps are being cut off and uh-oh if it goes out oh oh oh the last word the last words on earth uh-oh yeah the funniest fucking part and it's a real uh-oh is uh when it does go out the side of the plane and Mark Wahlberg just jumps out of the airplane without a shoot

obviously because life doesn't matter I'll be reborn. This is after Chuitel has stabbed him and then shot him in the head with the soul gun. Oh right, but that it doesn't work because we're told at some point

earlier in the movie and you don't even entirely know why but for some reason Mark Wahlberg's character has had a steel plate installed in his head And the sole bullet bounces off the steel plate and he doesn't die. You forgot I was a Frankenstein, bro. But yeah, so now they're both just flying through the sky. And having just watched Rewatch Mission Impossible Fallout the other day,

now watching this, it's just like, when this fucking baby shit is terribly executed garbage free fall sequence, unreal. Even shoot him up did a better job of this. even that piece of garbage did better. It's much better than this. I don't remember that scene shoot him up at all. They're just fighting a good one. They're just fighting a bunch

and basically Walberg finally gets the upper hand and shoots him in the back of the head with his own stupid gun. Yes. So that means what's his name? Bathhouse. Bathhouse is now dethroned and he would not be reborn. He's from the Russian section of

Brooklyn. So he's he's a bathhouse. Well, no, I mean, I guess he will be reborn because she blows up the other shit. So I don't know, like, I mean, I guess like if that's, I don't know. Well, I think that, I think his soul is in that bullet.

You have to harvest it. Yeah. You got to, you got to transfer it, you know, from the jump drive to the external hard drive and, you know, put it back in the wall. This is a legitimate question. Like, if that bullet then falls into the ocean with the body or whatever is, can can that be destroyed

on its own? And then his would his soul be released then oh right yeah so like if it lands in the water and then over time disintegrates yeah you know what i guess that we'll answer yeah we'll answer that question infinite two exactly we have talked about this movie as long as anyone's ever thought about it but yeah so like walberg like falls into the ocean or whatever we go back to yeah the compound and zooks is there with uh nora you know leaving her to blow up all the souls and he's, you know, he is the best part

of this movie, man. He's got this cool line. He's like, I'll see you around, you know, knowing like she will be reincarnated. And so she blows up the whole thing with herself included and whatever. They've made a pact her and Mark Wahlberg that they will meet up

as they always say every lifetime meet up at the beginning. No, that's her and the boyfriend from the first reel that died. Oh, yes, you're right. Yes, you're right. Yes, yes, yes. other guy, yeah, we will meet back up at the beginning, like, is the, whatever. And then this is, yeah, he's just got more narration here. Oh, yeah.

Just like, I don't even write any of it down. It's just so fucking awful. Because they wind up being, like, two, like, Indian kids that, like, meet sweetly in a garden or something, and that's their scene. And the movie sort of ends, but, uh, uh-oh, we're in Jakarta. And there's, like, some fight club and this kid. is beating everyone's ass and Manzukas is there and he's got gray in his beard so time has passed right and he winds up the kid wins and then uh what you

would call it he gives him the sword and he's like the kid the last light is the kid's like what took you so long or whatever yeah and then Manzukas goes uh or yeah it's manzooks doesn't say anything but it's like a yeah we'll see you soon treadway or whatever Oh, shit. I'm Indonesia now, bro. I better kick my own ass. Can I do a self-hate crime? Meanwhile, under weird news section,

it's like a former restaurant manager with a history of mental illness was found in the middle of the ocean but dead. Very weird. News you could use. Oh, man. And I guess like, you know,

one thing to say, and they, you know, like Steve said, they will not make an infinite two. But if they did, thankfully, dude, it's, it is impossible for Mark Wahlberg to be in the movie. Which I think is probably one of the reasons he did it, because he's also a producer on this movie. So it's like, hey, look, if I do this stupid bullshit and

it hits for some reason, then I can just collect some fat checks being a producer on this infinite universe or something. That's exactly right. Whether or not you're going to do another movie or like a streaming TV show, you know, I get a little cut to it as the EP. Oh, yeah. Cooper really, this is, this is like his limitless, like the way Cooper had the movie and then he came in for special episodes of the TV series. Oh, is that right? Yeah, it's really funny. Who was that? Was that

Patrick Wilson? Was he in the show? No, just some guy. Oh, was just some guy? One of the Veronica Mars kids. Oh, oh, no, there was another show with Patrick Wilson that came out kind of around the same time, though. What was that TV show he had? Doesn't matter. I will say, that limitless movie, not awful. It's actually kind of fun. I never, never had a pleasure. I mean, it's not, it's, respectfully disagree.

I don't think it's a masterpiece or anything, but, you know, I saw it in theaters. It held my attention. I remember wanting to turning it off, honestly. Like, I watched on TV and it's, yeah, no, I totally get it. So that That concludes this movie Concludes this movie It's thankfully no fucking stinger scenes

No nothing You know they know you're fucking dumping this On Paramount Plus which no one subscribes to Like God damn It's fucking over That is right I am now dead forever Oh my God So obviously no recommendations

Final thoughts Steve will start with you as this was a Steve Sanex-LX. There is just something about this movie that I find interesting. It's not, I'm going to say, you know, it's a soft recommend for me. Oh, wow, okay. You watch it once,

and just to get through it and be like, what? I mean, it does turn. The problem is like there's excitingly funny, stupid moments, but most of it's just mud, but it is such a beguiling watch it of a bad idea that I do think one spin

might be necessary if you're into that sort of thing, but no thanks for me no it's a light recommend interesting uh Chris Cabin oh no no way don't watch this it's been interesting I don't think this is even

his most interesting failure as of late like he's been I mean he does movies like this they like they all feel like they're about to start something bigger but then go fucking nowhere who Antoine Fuqua or Mark Wahlberg well both honestly but more Walberg is who I was talking about like

Mile 22 also seemed like it was starting something. Instant family also felt like it was starting something. Instant family. He tried to do a like a family movie after Daddy's home. He tried to do another one. Oh wow. Him and Rose Byrne. No,

thank you on that. The only interesting failure, I will say, Spencer Confidential on Netflix. Holy sweet Jesus. As far as Walberg misfires, I far prefer that to this. That's him. Is that like a reboot of Spencer for hire?

Yes, it is. And it's a Peter Berg movie. They're like best buds, right? Well, it's him with Winston Duke. So there's Winston Duke there to entertain you occasionally. Oh, that's interesting. And Bocheme Woodbine has a good role in it. Oh, is it better than his pissed away role in Ghostbusters after life?

I mean, it would have to be, wouldn't it? How do you fucking just waste a great actor like Bocheme Woodbine in that movie? Terrible movie. Whatever. Eric Siska. Yeah. definitely not a recommend for me this plot it's like Swiss cheese

and spaghetti soup it's just I would Steve I would agree with like a soft recommend if there was anything I could hold on to it just feels like I'm in a fucking like a dryer on the spin cycle or something I can't get my bearings on this film so it is a big

nope for me yeah watching this movie I felt like Jack Nicholson and the hedge maze I really I really I was like, it's cold out. I don't know what's going on and I'm going to die here. You have to die and someone else has to die. Yeah, that's actually a really good analogy

because by the end of it, you are going, Rauroo! Oh, Daddy boy! Yeah, instead of saying Danny, you're like, Donnie, Donnie Walberg, could you be in this instead? Donnie! Yeah, no, this is, it's a hardcore no. this was trash.

It's the kind of thing where it's like it sucks because you know on the one hand we kvetch day and night about you know IP this and that

we just did our fucking Space Jam episode you know bitching about Marvel movies all the time and whatever and then he gets something like this where like yes it's based on a book but nobody knows what it is

and like it's garbage and so it's like you yearn for the new IP but then it's also garbage it's just a sea of garbage just garbage as far as I can see I mean I looked it up I think actually the last thing I saw

Not terribly long ago It was 2017 movie That I thought Mark Wahlberg was good in Was Rotten Rids All the Money in the World I think he actually turns in a stellar performance there Because you're working with a fucking great great director That might have something to do with it But yeah this was just like

Just convoluted messy action sci-fi movies like this that are so forgettable It's like, why did anybody waste their time? I mean, I don't know. I just, I hope that Chewettel's bathroom that he remodeled after this looks really great. I just, I don't know what else to say about it. I'm sure he's enjoying some stage productions. You know, he's having a day of it, I think, probably.

Just my kingdom for that excellent actor to be in better movies. I just don't know who he fucking rubbed the wrong way, but it's really unfortunate. I sincerely hope that this time next year, we are not covering another worst stuff that Chuitel had something to do with. I'll tell you that much. But that is going to do it for Antoine Fouquah's Infinite. If you want more We Hey Movies, of course, check out patreon.com slash

we hate movies. This month, we will have a WLM on 2021's Denny Villeneuve. I think masterpiece Dune. That's coming out. We got animation, damnation on Little Ellen coming out this month. My God in heaven. Eric, what are you doing on the old

Gleap Glossary? Now, this is kind of almost a two-for here because we are also recapping every single episode of the Book of Boba Fed, and episodes are available now on Patreon, but we are also covering on the Gleap Glossary, which is a Star Wars Sign Show, where we talk about random characters from the expanded universe. We'll be discussing Dengar on this month's edition, which is going to be very fascinating because... Big boy. Yes, and it also directly contradicts the events that are going on in the Book of Boba Fed. So a little bit of 90s EU to contrast and compare with the new canon. And as always, you know, just like Book of Bobafet is a top tier Patreon show.

Another top tier patron show, Melro 210. We got an episode out this month that is, unfortunately Chris cannot be there for it, but they were two banger episodes of that, of those shows that we talk

about Merrill's Place in Beverly Hills 90210. Monumental. Oh, absolutely. And as far as Melrose place goes, history making for that show's history anyway. But here on the,

the main feed. The show will continue, of course, next week. If I'm remembering things right, some of the worst of the previous year, month continues. It ends. It ends. Yeah, the final one. Here we come, Steve. What are we closing out the month with? We are ending on more

sci-fi live-forever nonsense. It's the Eternals. Oh, boy. Marvel Studios, the Eternals. I think, yeah. I was confused. I still haven't seen it yet. So, you know, hey, maybe it's great. Maybe it's okay to like a movie. I haven't seen it yet.

Haven't seen it. Get ready to be not happy. Wait, wait. So hang on a second. Am I the only one that's seen it? Oh, I've seen it. Oh, okay. Oh, you said you hadn't seen that you were still happy. You were saying Eric was. Eric has. He's about to be not happy because he's going to see it and it's bad. Got it. Oh, and you dodged it too. Okay. Oh, so this will be interesting. I'll listen to two of you suffer in real time next week. So until next week with Marvel's the Eternal. I'm Andrew Jupe and Stephen

say that. Eric Siskin. Chris Cap. Take it easy. Uh-oh. That was a hate gum podcast.