We Hate Movies - S12 Ep591: Big Bully

Episode Date: February 1, 2022

With the Worst of 2021 behind them, the gang goes back to basics with a convo on the outrageous 1996 family comedy, Big Bully! How perfectly deranged is Tom Arnold in this movie? Was that Air Force guy having sex with the teacher? Why didn't Moranis just threaten to call the cops? And does this Fang fella get horny after he bullies or what? PLUS: Was Moranis's character also the Zodiac?    Big Bully stars Rick Moranis, Tom Arnold, Julianne Philips, Carol Kane, Jeffrey Tambor, Curtis Armstrong, Faith Prince, Blake Bashoff, Cody McMains, and Don Knotts; directed by Steve Miner. Check out the WHM Merch Store -- featuring new Mortal Kombat & Bean Dinner designs! Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the program, take off that kick me sign and undo that wedge because we're talking big bully. I'm Andrew Jupin. Bulley target Stephen Sadek. Big Eric. Chris Cabin. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone, welcome to We Hey Movies. Thank you for tuning in, as always. That's right. We're talking 1996 as big bully directed by Steve Minor. You may remember as having directed Halloween H20, Friday the 13th, 2 and 3, House, Warlock, and his greatest horror film of all, C. Thomas Howell stars in Soul, man. I'm a racist. Do you think when that was coming out,

there was like Fan Goreo articles about the makeup, like the incredible makeup in that movie? Well, here's the thing. It's not really incredible makeup. Regardless, and if anyone's unfamiliar, it's an 80s comedy where C. Thomas, Howell goes in blackface to like get admission into a college.

And it works. And everyone's fooled. Everyone is fooled. Everyone's totally fooled. Including James Earl Jones. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not good. Not good. But I would have loved to see that

behind the seats if there was a DVD of Soul Man put out. Jesus. A featurette. Also important to point out this movie written by none other than Mark Stephen Johnson, you know him as the director of that first Daredevil. movie, Ben Affleck.

But more instructive, which is what got me going in this movie, is he wrote, and I think he at least wrote those first, the two grumpy old men movies. That was his like break out. Oh, sure. That tracks with this.

Because the beginning of this movie, especially until it gets totally weird is, it's what I like to call a regular movie. And that's what Grumpy Old Man is. You put it on and you're like, I just want to watch something regular. And it is just a regular film. I really have to protest this, though,

because I do not think a Tom Arnold movie can be a regular movie. But Chris, he doesn't show up to like 35 minutes. So that's what I'm saying. Okay. Fair. There's still some weird shit going on before he shows up. But that's what's weird, though. I mean, like this movie, Steve, you pointed out last night on the group chat,

but like this is like fucking F grade stand by me, Stephen King's shit. And I was surprised at how much. Much of this movie is just fucking lost in the 1950s. I'm curious how much of this movie is lost, period, because there are so many, like, threads that go nowhere. Like, these friends that we set up, and they do nothing. Yeah, that's true. That's something.

I think I get the feeling this is one of those situations where they got a script. It was dark. And they were like, let's make this a family thing. Like, maybe we could get Rick Moran is cheap. Checks haven't been good for Rick for a little while now. So maybe we get him cheap. We get Tom Arnold in this thing and we make it a family affair. Because not only because Steve Minor directed it,

there are a lot of feelings like this should be going darker, like towards the end when they start introducing a lot of the pent-up stuff. That's when you're like, this should be really bursting forth into blood loss. Speaking of darkness and also the friends not doing anything, one of those friends offers to go dispose of Tom Arnold's body. Yes. That's something.

And I mean like a guy that you haven't seen in 20 Like what about what are you guys? I would definitely think about disposing of the body Before I turned you in just because I didn't want to go to jail ever But but like some dude that I knew in grade school That just moved back to town. Fuck off. I'm calling the cops.

What I was trying to say though is the vibe I was getting from this And it's not quite there but it could have been Is very much a cable guy vibe. Oh yeah, sure. I guess yeah. where it starts off in like a place of normalcy and quickly like escalates to fucking total madness. But that's actually what I was looking for at the end there

or the second half of the film was to go full cable guy where it's like dark and weird and that's been the point the whole time. Here it's like it's almost like a, I don't know, side effect of the movie as opposed to like what the movie's about. They're trying to have it both ways.

Yes, exactly. It's cute at the end and like, you know, then we're just like we're back to sort of like a regular, regular family calm at the end. There's an incredible moment in the last, when Tom Arnold Rick Moranis are fighting in Rick Moranis's bedroom, when like,

Oh, dude, can I just stop and point out? What a ridiculous thing that is to hear. I mean, it happens in the movie. The only way this movie can end is these two in bed together. I'm sorry. And they do it. And they do it. But there is, there is, like, it goes from him saying, I'm going to kill you, Rick Marinas, too. I would just want to take a

shower. Like, he literally, says those two things sincerely right after each other and I'm like, who is this person? What the fuck is this? Well, he's insane, dude. He's played by Tom Arnold

and he's insane. I suppose. I suppose. You know, you're in for a good time. This movie starts out with fucking woolly bully, dude.

You're like, absolutely. I think like for the obvious thing of there's the word bully in the song. But you're just like, fuck yeah, woolly bully. Let's do it.

And again, regular, regular regular right now we're just in regular mode we got this movie set to normal it's insane though just how much of this i mean including sparsely used and obnoxious rick moranus narration of just like you know this stand by me like you know when i was a little kid growing up in minnesota or wherever the fuck they are like yeah he's just telling the town story and whatever and i'm like um and when you realize it's like because at first i was like okay this makes sense it's a it's a comedy in the 90s

very much in the style of like we have to have our comedic actors start out as a little kid in this movie. I hate that whenever they do that but they always did it. They always did it but it was always like think about how much it happens in like the beginning of gone fishing. You're in and you're in and you're out. When this kept going

and had like multiple scenes I was like oh fuck this is going to be like a quarter of the movie isn't it? I almost I think that you can you can always get away with never showing someone as a little little kid. I really do. I mean this movie you need it. I do think that you can narrow that down. We just watched the

Eyes of Tammy Faye, which is a pretty good movie, not a great movie, but the first like five to ten minutes, like, her as a little girl. I'm like, this is meaningless. Just like, show me fucking Jessica Chastain, who's amazing in that movie, and just get to it. And like, whatever information you want to relay there, relay it somewhere else

because it's useless. Start at meeting the husband. I don't understand why the fuck you wouldn't say that. It doesn't make any sense. Yeah, that movie, it's a real, like, we're trying to make this way longer than it needs to be. But with this, you're right, Steve like it's it's annoying and a real it's troublesome because yeah you have to have some stuff here because the inciting incident of the film takes place back then also if you don't see all of this almost immediately you're on tom arnold's side and you don't stop that's fair right like

if you just had the adult scenes and you didn't see him i would be a hundred percent on his side from the beginning like it wouldn't it wouldn't even blink uh maybe maybe i'm almost on his side now too. I might be. It's very close. I'm not on his side. Fuck that guy. Hey, it's Tom Arnold. Yeah, it's Tom Arnold. Yeah, it's Tom Arnold in general. Bullies are not good people. But Rick Moranis is a fucking rat, man. What you do is you fucking take that information that you have about little Tom Arnold stealing this moonrock

and you use it to blackmail him. That's what you do? You don't turn them in. What good is that? What does it matter? I don't want to turn anybody into a sleeper, Steve. I don't want any of that shit Yep None of that on my conscience No sir And that's a thing

That's totally weird About this movie Is like Tom Arnold When you know We're jumping ahead of ourselves Whatever we'll get into it in a second But like Tom Arnold Very clearly expresses the fact

That he was like Totally broken By our fucking heinous child welfare system And that's like A serious thing And it's a real problem And Lord knows what fucking Abuse that guy suffered

and the mental anguish and yada yada and then it's like now i'm chasing after you with a nail gun rick moranus i was like wait a minute it's a lot to to digest and i mean i also think you need because the movie like it starts was like i was always you know getting bullied because i was rick moranus and they have a little kid and it's the um tom arnold's character's nickname is rosco biggs or something nickname fang and they show this little kid with this horrible little sharp tooth was so gross By the way, his last name is bigger. Roscoe Bigger is his name. No, it's just like, I feel like this guy's type in the screenplay and he's just like,

and then there was a bully and he was bigger. That's like a new promotional character before McDonald's figured out supersized. They're like, meet Rosco Bigger. He wants his fries bigger. His drink bigger. Oh my God. Tom Arnold would have been great as Rosco Bigger being like, Oh, that thing's not big enough for me, man.

And he's got to be wearing fucking overalls when he's doing the McDonald's commercials too. He could bully that clown Ronald, right? Oh, yeah. And now introducing the bigger Mac. I killed Grimmis. You don't see him beat the shit out of this

kid because they cut. Like, he's about to do it. I'm like, I kind of want to watch this little kid get his ass kick. I kind of too. This little kid, Rick Moranis is a little kid. One of the lines, you guys remember the line he says about Victoria? Oh my God. You need to have

the little kids say this. You can't have Rick Moranis as an adult say it. I was about to ask because I forgot it's Rick Moranus as an adult saying this. Now folks at home, this is not me. This is Rick Moranis. As an adult, mind you, saying this. Victoria was 10, but she was built like a 12 year old.

Hot damn, dude, that's a spicy potato. And all the little kids are looking at this, this little girl and that's what we're saying that's what we're saying and then I'm supposed to have sympathy for this man yeah you you need you do need little kid Rick Moran is saying like oh man

she's 10 but she's bill like a 12 year old it's a bit creepy still but like it's a cute little kid thing to say I guess so listen it's something one of the fucking sandlock kids would say that's what this kid looks like but as an adult man looking back and you're just like you're hanging out with your buddies having a beard like there was this one girl

Victoria, she was 10, man, but she looked 12. And the thing about it is, like, yes, you know, you can recall, like, you know. Happy to crush. Yeah. Or just, you know, the fact that, like, you know, when you're the age that these kids are in this film, like, girls oftentimes will develop earlier than boys. And so, like, you're hitting puberty at different times. And, like, yeah, it's a thing. It's totally a thing.

But again, you do not have the adult freeze it that way. You could say I was just attracted to her. How about that? Also that. She was a big crush. Thank you. Thank you, Rick Moradis. You've done enough.

Let me just take a red, let me put a red pen through that line and then write the prettiest girl in school. There you go. She was the prettiest girl in school, guys. How hard was that? Come on. So, okay. There's also that weird line with Alan when he's like, oh, yeah. Oh, yes.

He's like our, he was our black friend. And, you know, but race didn't matter because he could do this trick and he puts his fist in his mouth. Yeah. And I'm like, that's a weird thing to be saying to people that like that was the reason I didn't care. It's because he could do this trick with his fucking fist. Exactly. Not like, oh, we were just best buddies or he loved comic books as much as anybody else or whatever. Right.

On the tail of the built like a 12 year old line, it really just, it decimates the arena. absolutely and it's something it's something you don't have to say just have just have the kid be a friend with you and say he could put his fist in his mouth you know what at least stephen king had the fucking balls to make a kid orgy with the turtle universe like that's you know that's balls that's bold that's swinging for it you're not doing this half-ass pervert shit you're right because this is just this is just flirting with the idea Yeah, I think, I don't know, man. Now I'm thinking about Pennywise, you know,

you know, it's, it's, uh, Derry Main there. And he takes the form of Tom Arnold. He'd be unstoppable. Oh, yeah. Nobody's doing anything to that thing. Maybe that's what Tom Arnold is. Hey, we all float down here. I'm an international alien.

I make 600 movies a year, man. It's great. It's fantastic. You just see this huge crab monster with Tom Arnold's voice. Hey, by the way, this little kid that plays young Rick Moranus, how about this shit? This kid also portrayed young Rick Moranus and fucking Little Giants. It's the same kid. Oh, really?

Yeah. He looks exactly like Rivers Cuomo a couple times during this. He's got like a little fun denim jacket on at some point. Justin John Ross is the actor's name, yeah. I feel like I don't remember Little Giant. really at all. I think heavyweights just took it, like, erased that memory from it. Uh-huh.

What is little giants? It's Peewee football wherein Rick Brandis, we believe this plays like a nerdy dad, you see. And he's up against Ed O'Neill who's like a big fucking scumbag if I remember correctly. Yes. Yeah. Probably to stay tuned, I would guess. Oh, 100%.

Both those. Little out, I mean, but that little giants and fucking heavyweights. We got heavy weights one day. um so yeah he's got this little group of friends there's also like so you have this other kid who's like the fat kid and i have to say i was laughing pretty hard would they show you that this kid's got a walking sausage yeah dude he's just walking around the main street in the town just eating the sausage i was like absolutely kid good for you and i mean weird thing is too he's got

a group of friends which i usually uh uh would insulate you from bullying but it does not like you know, Tom Arnold's little Fang here, all these kids just disappear when he goes after him. Like, that's pretty shitty. I think it's like he's a sacrificial lamb, you know? Gotcha. You know, let Fang get his aggression out on him and we're fine. Absolutely.

I think that's the trick. The thing with the sausage kid is like, you would think that the trick was going to be, or the joke at least, was going to be as he's older, he's like some svelts like he went for, no, apparently he's been doing this entire life. And like, wouldn't you

just expect to hear it. Yeah, Ron. He died at the altar, doing his vows, because he was eating a Bratworth in the middle of it. Couldn't help himself, you understand? That's just the way he was raised. Yeah, there's no, like, oh, and here's Ron after his fourth heart attack.

He's fine. The thing that's weird, though, about, like, this group of friends, too, is, like, when they, when he's explaining, like, how you know, this kid would beat him up all the time or whatever and tormented him, there's a lot of, like, little Tom Arnold, like, stalking little Rick Moranus in the forest. And, like, these

kids, these other kids, though, are nowhere to be found. I was like, at least the stand by me, kids, like, go to see the dead body together. Like, this poor son of a bitch is just hung out to try by the rest of his quote-unquote friends, which is like, guess why, when his parents are like, oh,

hey, we're moving to fucking California kid. You know, this little David, you know, the little Rick Moranus, is like, so ecstatic. One, because he's going to get away from Tom Arnold, but also like he appears to to not care at all that he's like there's no like boy

I'm going to be really bummed to leaving this this close group of friends that I have no no no it's just nothing but pure excitement also that California move is a joke line like it's like and we move to a place without violence or fear Oakland California Har Har Har Har

Ha ha ha Another weird racial line Oh man Oh man wait till we get to it There's one holy fucking shit but it's kind of weird I mean like yeah he doesn't miss his pals and there's this weird

I mean again this really like starts and stops with this weird stuff there's like this weird like him as a little kid he's a budding writer he writes the story of the moon rock and it's Don Knott's Don Knott's by the way with the hammer which I appreciate it oh yeah and Don Knott's appreciate that

Don Knott's with what a huge dick what do you say with the hammer? With the hammer he's hung like a fucking horse it's like Mr. Ed walked in Yeah That's why his pants are longer. They're not. They don't roll up the pants.

It's why it sounds like clopping when he approaches. My cock is huge. Watch out from a big swing and dick everybody. Whoa. Women break up with me because my dick is too big. It can be quite uncomfortable. It can be. That's what I've heard.

No, the hammer is whenever there's in a cast list. It's and so and so. whoever's the end gets the hammer. I never heard of that. Okay. I think I might have made that up years ago and never told

anybody. So there you go. Hence my gross confusion. Yeah, of course. Yeah, no, I love Don Nots as this principle,

though, man, it was a weird thing. Like, you're watching a movie from 1996, and I was like, Don,

Nats. Yeah. And obviously, he only died like maybe 10 years ago or something, but like, it was just a weird, like,

the paths of Rick Moranis, Tom Arnold and Don Knott's crossing in a movie was very strange to me. I've been taking Cloietal Silver. But he's like, he's like doing a fantasy about his, as a budding writer, like, it's like, oh, here's this, what do you call it there? This big moon rock and like, it's a fantasy of Donnots and this science

fiction with wee, wee, we're, and it's like, I'm deaf or something, which made me laugh. Because the kid is like, oh, he can't hear it because he's deaf or something. Done. I'm deaf or something. I kind of want more of that if that's going to be in the movie because it's kind of funny and fun to do fantasy stuff.

But dude, then it would have to be, I feel like you're then allowing the door to remain open for more Rick Moranis narration. And I don't want it. What if the little girl went? I'm built like a 12 year old. Oh, no.

oh man so yeah so he this moon rock thing so what so i guess um you know like a a rock falls from space and then it's like we take it to all the elementary schools look at this kids is that what's going on basically sparks their imagination right it makes them well think of a great also makes them want to go to nassah i guess that's what that's what i was trying to get at yes it's uh government propaganda is what this is Yeah, this fucking rock It's just a placebo

They just brought It's just a fucking river rock And this I don't know if it's a NASA guy Or the Navy or something The guy who is guarding The fucking moon rock Goes away to get a quickie

With the fucking math teacher Or something Oh my God That's what that's the point in the movie And this is only like Maybe 10 minutes in the movie Where I was like Oh

This is like Kind of edgier Than I thought it was gonna be Because like there's a big hollabaloo, the kids are all looking at the rock, little Tom Arnold's looking at it and the Air Force, I think it's the Air Force, Chris. It's like, okay.

Hey, hey kid, why don't you get moving? Other kids got to see this moon rock or whatever and you see the teacher like come up to him like, say or whatever. And then like cut to, oh my God, the moon rock's been stolen. And like the whole school starts freaking out and they run back in and my God, this teacher's

like adjusting her blouse and this dude's like fixing his pants and I was like, were you fucking in the auditory? Did Bob Clark write this? What the fuck? It's incredible. How dirty that one moment is. It is.

It's really weird. And he goes down to the ravine again. I guess looking for his evil-cneville doll or whatever bullshit. And he sees the kid like pray, sees Fang praying to this rock. I think he's just looking at it. I think he's praying to it. Praying to the moon gods.

Yeah. A transcendental moment there. I have to admit something here. You prayed to moon rock? I do not pray to moon rocks, although I might start. That might help things. Couldn't hurt. If I, I looked at this kid doing this and I don't know if it was the fat kid in me that thought this.

But I was like, is he going to eat that moon rock? Oh. What, to hide the evidence? Yeah, like he wants it to be a part of him. Like he wants it to be his. Like I was like, wait a minute. Don't do it. Don't do it.

A cosmic bowel obstruction. I like that. I think I had one of those last week. I think we covered one of those last week actually. Yeah, so like Rick Moranis like sees it and he runs away and then his parents

are like, hey, great news, we're moving and he's like, oh, great news, I'll fucking rat out his bully and ruin his life. You know what, man? It's kind of cool to do that without repress. I've never been a rat, but fuck bullies, man. He's on as you're skipping town, kind of a baller move. It is kind of cool. Oh, man, Steve, you must have

had it bad. Oh, dude. I was an undersized kid with not a lot of friends in grade school. I've got some, I got a chip on my shoulder. It's fine. I've had a bully. I just, I, now this is a question that Chelsea asked me last night.

So there's a difference between like having a bully like someone just like kind of busts in your balls or whatever. But like, was anyone beaten up? No, not beaten up. Just like. I had physical fights. I ended up winning a few. But yeah, I don't think I was ever like. of fights. I was never like decimated by anyone. No. I was I shoved that I shoved back,

which actually ended the fight, which is interesting because somebody was trying to start shit. But that's like the closest ever been to a fight. But no, just just the verbal bullying. I remember being in like, I think it was like elementary school and it was like recess and stuff. And I had a bully. I think it was like the grade below us or something. And they had like shared the recess time or whatever the fuck it was. You were getting bullied by a younger kid? Yes. This is how bad I got it. And then, because he's, you know, making light of my weight situation. Sure. Then I was sizing up other kids. And so I was trying to be, I literally did this as a kid. I was like, I tried to befriend him. And I like, sidled up to him when he was saying,

you know, how fat I was. And I was like, what about that kid over there, huh? He's a little bit bigger, try to like get him off of me to go after someone else. Right. Totally bully this kid instead. He wasn't having it. Oh, no. Do you get it? They never fall for that. I know. it sucked anyway yeah so yeah no life was garbage until well shit i was gonna say it ended but i don't think it has i think life has continued to be trash uh yeah no i was never uh physically beaten up a lot of people talking shit do a little fat kid absolutely i actually had one girl tell me one time that i had bigger breasts than the girl in sixth grade who was you know to the point i was making earlier she was the girl who got boobs before the rest of the girls oh that's and so and so everybody

knew it. And she was like, you, this other girl's like, you have bigger boobs than so and so. And I was like, that's horrible. So anyway, though, fucking total laugh moment in the editing. It's like, this kid runs into Don Nots and is like, hey, I know who stole the moonrock. Cut to this kid getting taken out

handcuffs by the police. A little kid in handcuffs. A little kid in handcuffs. Hilarious. That just seems like stealing the moonrock, whatever. And I guess the U.S. government, which wouldn't shock anybody, prosecuted him to the fullest extent of the law. Wouldn't you just be like, oh, it's a little kid, got it. Just take it back.

Six months to attention. Even suspension or even, you know what? Oh, my God, he's been expelled from school. Yes. Yeah. Or, oh my God, we think he may have been like licking this thing trying to eat it, like psyching himself up and eating it. Now we're going to take him and study this kid back at now.

I like that. It's just a gray turd, like E.T. at the end of that thing. So, you know, yeah, the kid gets arrested and Rick Rannis moves away. And then, yeah, it's like, I moved to a place with no violence or fear at all. Oakland, California. Terts. And in one, for like a half a second, I was like, maybe he's also referring to.

to like college campus unrest and the political activism of it. No, no, no, definitely not. You see the way it's like portrayed the second they cut to Oakland and it's like, nope, definitely not. That is not what you're talking about. We cut to Oakland and it's just like all these police vehicles speeding by a bookshop.

We move in on the bookshop and he's writing, he's signing copies of his piece of shit. The last straw. Oh, that was the last straw. Yeah, it's about a guy whose family leaves him I don't. He says it's as loses his family which I don't know what that means. Like do they die in a car accident? Gambling

you know he like threw them in. After the car you'd have to be threw in his car keys he threw in his family the like little family portrait. Listen you got my wife the Rams cover the spread I'll put it in the kid how about that? How about the kid too? I think that's something that goes

unspoken in this movie you guys is that actually on top of this shithead son that Rick Moran has has in this movie. There was also a daughter at one point. And that daughter that daughter was fucking taken by whatever Eric Bogosian fucking crime boss guy

because Rick Moranus has a gambling problem in this movie. Listen, they're going to take you. I have a gambling problem. Kimmy, listen. I had to bet you. I lost that bet. Listen, Kimmy. The damn the damn the chiefs

won the coin toss. So now, yes. you're going to have to go with these Albanians. Oh, man. The gambling on the coin toss, by the way. Oh, yeah, man. Listen, for folks at home,

if you find yourself doing that, that's how you know you're in some hot soup. Yeah, so this book, The Last Straw, he's doing a book signing. Nobody gives a shit. The gag is like,

everybody keeps coming in asking where, like, this is like ultra-90s. Like, where's the new Stephen King book? everybody every single person asks where the Stephen King book now to James Patterson to break it up a Daniel Steele here everybody yeah and the gag is like you know no I don't work here I'm an author signing my book

and then eventually he's just directing people to aisle 23 or wherever the the horror and thriller sci-fi section is until he misleads this stoner fellow this this grody for incubus he fucking this kid comes up he's like It did. I mean, it's just the, it's just the Sean Penn thing from Bridgemont High. Yeah. We were doing that in the 90s well into the late 90s. We loved that kind of trope. Like, Stoner guy. And he does a riff on Stephen King here. Well, it's about a guy who loses his family. Oh, you ever, you ever hear those electric wood chippers where the killer like splatters their body across the lawn or whatever. But then the body parts come back to life to hunt the kill. or whatever. The kid is like hooked.

Oh, yeah. He's like, oh, wow. That's like Pet Cemetery, Mr. Hand. I'm kind of, you know what? Honestly, his publisher does not believe in this project. The cover of this book is just a crossroads. Yeah. You want to put a little bit more to the cover design. It looks like the cover for Hillbilly Elegy.

Like, for real. Like, almost exactly. You guys, you're judging by the cover. I am. I'm sorry about that. But yeah, this is the cut I'm talking about. He gets a call. He's about to sell a copy to this kid. And he gets a call that says your kid is in trouble.

Your kid is doing something bad. Cut to rap music very loudly pumping in as they take this kid out of like lots of police activity around this school too, it turns out. It's very weird. And, like, you see his buddies, and they're all just, like, mushroom-cut little 90s white losers, you know. And he's just like, I don't want you hanging around these kids anymore. Everyone in this school's a bad influence with your rap music and not wanting to read the last straw by me. What do you call them? Like, they're going to be future cast members of America's Most Wanted.

Oh, yeah. Man, it is just like all this shit we were fucking yelling in the 90s like that. And I guess like that's the motive because then he gets a letter from his old school saying, oh my God, you're like, you're the town hero. We're going to spend, we're going to pay money for you to come and not for like to teach like a course over a weekend or to do a talk. No, no, no, we're going to move you here for a whole semester, not a full year either in grade school, which is kind of odd. Very weird. What are you going to teach this class?

because it's a creative writing class for middle schoolers. What is it? The alphabet that you're going to be teaching them? It's weird, too. And I don't know if this is like somewhere, something got lost along the way in the writing of this script because when he gets to the class or whatever and he's like, you know,

oh, I'm Mr. Leary and this is creative writing 201. And I was like, 201. Like that sounds like shit left over from like a college. Yes. Class that was like written into this script for some reason. it's not you just it would just be creative you had math you know what I mean like that's how middle school works like you go to math you know what I mean like yeah but just say he's an English teacher have a line about Ivanhoe and shut the fuck up but that's the thing but you don't

also like know like A you have no idea they never explained what happened with his wife B it's like yes you understand that he's kind of like a a loser author money's probably not great but like it's never like oh these bills are piling up thank God this this teaching gig cap and it's not just like that sounds cool and then he moves across the country back to a place i would never go back to where my bully lives no way but the problem is is that this was before facebook when you could confirm that shit you never knew this was all a mystery you were going back to a full wide landscape you didn't know what you were going back to necessarily i mean and it's not like he has any sense of hometown pride like he hated it there the bully made his

life miserable. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't say goodbye to those friends, like, just fucking up and left. Like, it's clearly, it's like fucking Rick Moranis's character, his excuse for like fucking white flight, like it's so insane. Because you, I mean, because you don't tell me that

he's got money troubles or et cetera, et cetera. You know what I mean? Like, you need to do that or else just give me like two lines of that, but no, he just moves across the time. I think the 90s lens is you being a single parent equals money trouble. I see. Yes. Yes.

So they get out there and they meet the new neighbors, Jeffrey Tambor and Faith Prince as Art and Betty. I had to say, Chris Cabin, with the way this guy's hair patterns looking Tambor and the beard going on, he looks exactly like your father 20 years ago. A little bit. Tambor's got a little bit of padding in the front, but yeah, very close. Are you making fun of my weight? there is like a fucking great lot and like this kid the kid sucks the son character he's a little shitty son but man it is fucking hilarious how much he hates rick moranus's guts he's just they're you know they meet these new neighbors or whatever and then rick moranus is like trying to get the kid to like help him move or you know boxes into the house or whatever and he goes i could see why mom left yeah that's a wrong one man dude twin torpedoes nuclear Holy shit. And because it's Rick Moranus, you just get, hey, come on. That's not really fair. He's just deflated. No, the weird thing about Tambor and the wife is they're just kind of a bit brought to life.

Yep. Like, they're just like, hi, neighbor. Can I help you do this? Oh, can I help you do this? Hey, maybe, you know what? I could wipe your ass for you. Do you need to do that? Do you need me to handle your balls with you jack off, friend? Because I could do, you know, I could make dinner and then I could. could jack off and help you with your balls is what I could do. And I could be right over here in 10 minutes. 10 minutes. Man, they are so friendly out there. Very friendly. Love it. Love it. You're right, though, Chris, because those two characters do feel like they were born out of like a bad improv. It was, it's like a note. Somebody told them this script has to be funnier and they got that. Something like that. They're just like, it's a bit. We'll throw it in there. It'll make a laugh. But it's so nothing that I literally forget that Jeffrey Tambor is in the movie and then he's in the last one of the last scenes was like, oh, right.

It really, I literally, and it's not even like a long movie. It's not like watching a Turtles. It's 90 minutes. And I'm like, oh, shit, is he, he's in this? I do enjoy him in that last scene that we won't get to. But by the way, I just looked up the, the son to, you know, ban this character in Big Bulley here. You know when he was in the year before this, Chris? Ooh.

Yep. Bushwax. Bring it. And I think, because I'm looking at the character's name, I think. think he's the main kid from Bushwhacked. He is one of the main kids from Bushwack. Gordy. Yeah.

Gordy. Jesus. You want to talk about fucking inviting a bully. Oh, he's someone with the single parent, I think. Yeah. I guess that's short for Gordon. Yes. Unless, Steve, you're totally right, unless it's a hockey family.

And then you're totally in the clear. I had a question because I was just thinking about Bushwax, which I know everyone else on this podcast loves. I've never seen it. Fuck yes. Was this a movie? Was Big Bulley a movie you folks grew up with or no? Because I've, last time was my first and only time. I recalled like maybe renting this once.

I remembered nothing about it though. I saw this baby in theaters. What? Holy mackerel. I was a Rick Moranis fan. I was a capital F fan. I liked him. So even then I was like, let's do it. I definitely saw this at home at some point on, television, but yeah. Well, and you saw it a little more recently. Is that not correct? That is

correct. I, when we were, we scheduled to do this. I'm watching. I open a letterbox. Wait, I rated this. And in April? So, yeah, I didn't remember watching it in April. And when I brought it up on the Amazon Prime stream or whatever, it was like, would you like to start over? That's a embarrassing. In my gut. I'm like, oh, my Lord. I love it. I mean, I liked Rick Rannis as much as the next guy. I actually liked Tom Arnold growing up a little bit.

I remember supporting for no reason whatsoever the Jackie Thomas show. Excuse me? Oh, wow. It was an ABC show that they just gave him because he was fucking Roseanne. And but like, as a little kid, I would just be like, if it's network television, I'm watching it. And for whatever reason, I watch like every fucking episode of the Jackie Thomas show. Okay, then what was the premise?

What was his whole thing? It was like a show within a show. Like he was like a star of a TV show and he was like difficult or something. It sounds kind of fun. Yeah, the Barry Tander's show. Everybody. Yeah, that, yeah, I'm looking at it now. That is the vibe.

Definitely the, uh, oh, what is this? Paul Feig was in it. Oh, how about this? How about this? You're totally right with what you said, Steve, about Rosanne. Because the IMDB photo, like the poster art for this is just like an ad for it that ran and like

I don't know probably people magazine or TV guide or something and in the corner it's a picture of Roseanne with a quote that says Hey like I'm producing the show Oh man that sucks But Steve that's my exact thing I had that I didn't watch this show

But an example I can give is I watched all of the Billy Connelly sitcom Billy Yep I was there for that too It was like a TGIF show like I had no fucking business watching that show and I watched it every week for all

12 weeks or whatever it was just like yeah just if it was on television I was watching it man that's kids ask me how do you know how do you become podcasters like ruin your early life yeah yeah it's the move remember mantis that's about it can you remember mantis

then you're fine do you have an encyclopedic knowledge of the television show Mr. Rhodes then you Yes, you're going to be just fine. So he has his first day of teaching. The funny thing is, like, watching him start this class, like, Rick Moranis, I could see him being a really good teacher. He's got the demeanor for it.

The tone was down. I was like, I'd love to learn creative writing from this guy, sure. It'd be interesting if we got to see more of that in the classroom. We never see him teach. We see more of Tom Arnold teaching his shop class. Yes, that's true. The movie is wholly unconcerned with. Rick, Rick Moranis as a teacher.

Well, we have to start, of course, when he gets back to his teaching, this new teaching job, we have to do the oldest joke in the world. But you had to do it in the 90s where you go to the library. Oh, what's that? I have a book that's been out for 8,000 years. Oh, boy. Like literally every TGIF show had to do it. And then Seinfeld did it too.

But this is also, this also is illuminating for us as the audience. And so it helps us understand why David is bullied so much because he's checking out green eggs and ham from the school library. Yeah, it's a good call, man. Middle school library. Okay, that's bad. Yeah. You listen, you know, you have it at home or you don't.

You don't walk around with, you know, super child books, right? No, you don't. You get a death sentence if you do, a mark on your back. Absolutely. You don't tell the kids that you can't wait to see a free. Willie. You don't play that game. I remember very I've told the story before. There was

a girl in my class getting bullied for liking the Power Rangers. I was right next to her as a fan of the Power Rangers like, I shouldn't have brought that up. Like, you know what I mean? Totally. That'll teach her. Classic mistake. Yeah. Oh, well, you showed your interest.

Although I have to say that's pretty stunning because when we were kids, the Power Rangers were massive. I feel like for me, I was just slightly too old for it, but everyone, it's like a lot of people a year younger than me were, were into it. There's like a fine line. Yeah. It's interesting. It's funny. You should mention that, Eric, because that's, it was my first go about the fifth grade before I got left back. And no one in that generation liked the Power Rangers. I'm sure my new, new second,

second go at fifth grade, friends would have liked that. I forgot you, you had held back in the fifth grade? Absolutely. I got held back in grade one. That's when they knew something was wrong. Oh man, that's brutal. Put it back in, they said. Exactly. He's not done yet. Put him back in. Never held back but I will say, I'm pretty sure the Power Rangers

are what inspired my love of kaiju films. Now that I'm sitting here thinking about it. Because they were just 30 minute kaiju episodes. So I do love the gag and it's the 90s, so we're still doing this. And not that you can't like go back and teach at your school but like it would give me a panic attack fly yeah exactly

he's and he's like oh i always wondered what was going on to the teacher's lounge now i know it's just everybody's smoking you know what maybe i wouldn't if i walked back into my a brand new job that was handed to me literally they mailed me to give me a job uh and then i walk into this room the crush i've the built 12 year old uh is essentially being like yo I want to fucking marry you right now. Are you down for that? Are you up for that? Yeah, I might be comfortable.

I might be comfortable in the new shop. I will suck your Rick Moranis dick in the closet right now. Because I am so fucking horny because you wrote a book ever. Also, I think it's because the dating pool is so nothing in that town. And back then, what are you doing? You're going to go to a bulletin board, you know? Yeah. This is some like big city dude coming back home.

Once the pyromaniac turned fireman leaves you at the altar, yeah, this guy, the author might seem like a good job here. I do like the gag, though, of when all the teachers are smoking, you see two gym teachers also smoking? I thought that was kind of funny. But yeah, it's important to point out here also his sexy crush. What's her name, Vivian? Victoria, yes.

She is just straight up strictly the sex ed teacher. That's weird. Kind of odd. Yes, I agree. Like our school was like that. It was the health teacher. And a lot of the times, by the way, those health teachers were also just gym teachers. No, I bet you anything on the schedule is health. But because she has to make it so clear that she would let Rip Moranis hit the back walls. She's, he has to say sex. Oh, sex and I mean.

Yeah. What do you teach sex? It's like, yeah, it's like is she flirting or is she nervous to meet the big author again? Yeah, no subtlety. whatsoever. No, she wants to get luck right now. Did you see the actress Julianne Phillips was, I didn't know this, Bruce Springsteen's ex-wife.

Oh, really? Wow. Yeah. They were married 85 to 89. Dang. Come on, baby. We were born to run. Here, it's me. I'm in tight jeans in front of an American flag. You like Bruce Springsteen and Moranis.

Okay, I'm going to go back to Thunder Road. We're dancing in the dark. Because I'm afraid of a bully. Oh, oh, I'm on fire. They blew up the chicken man late last night. Come on, Wendy, let me in.

I want to be your friend. Santa Claus is coming to town. Well, But, yes, she's like uber horny, and she's like, let's have a date. He's like, absolutely. And he's like, I can't believe you hit puberty. Kind of turning me off right now a little bit. I liked when you were 10 looking like 12.

Now it's backwards. You're 36 looking like 42. So the flip here That's never totally addressed And this is what's weird about this movie Is like Rick Moran is way more concerned With working alongside his ex-bulley At the school

Because we learned Tom Arnold As the shop teacher Less more concerned with that Than he is concerned about his own child The fruit of his loins Becoming a bully himself There needs this never gets addressed I mean, like, he's just like, you got to, you know, like, you got to act better in school.

Like, he's like, ditched school. No, no, this is something that would, like, hit a bone, hit a nerve for you. Wouldn't you be like, you can't do that to kids? I grew up with it. It was horrible. That's why I look this way. You know what I mean? Like, you got to be smarter about this as a screenplay.

Yeah. But maybe there's a thrill to it for him or something. Maybe. I don't know. But, like, also, you kind of get the sense that he's like, just because the, the white. left, he's like, I'm not going to do anything. I give up on child rearing. That's true because it does seem very much, he's like not the father. There's that moment where the kids like, I'm going to go to the park and he's like, but it's, it's dark out. And he's like, yeah, that's

what happens at night, dad. He leaves. Dude, let me tell you right now. If I said that to my father, my little fucking bull cut ass is not going out skateboarding. I will tell you that right away. I'll tell you, I think that's part of why one of the reasons that, A, one of the, absolutely one of the reasons I'll never be a teacher, especially of children. And number two is why I won't have kids. I'm a little afraid to get bullied by kids, man. Like, what am I going to do? What am I going to do now?

You know what I mean? You've got, you can't do it. Guy starts bullying you, you know, regular life. You could fucking pop. You could knock his teeth out onto the ground. Exactly. And suddenly that's wrong when I do that to a kid who mouths off. Yes. It is Eric, but like, and these kids are fearless. They'll take you no matter who you are.

Oh, yeah. So we meet Tom Arnold. He's now going by his name Ross. And uh-oh, his youngest son Kirby is now the nerd who's getting bullied by Maranis's kid. And Moranis, like, goes to, like, he meets Tom Arnold. He doesn't recognize him. And he's going by Ross. He's not going by Fang.

So he doesn't remember him or whatever. and then, you know, Tom Arnold does kind of tell this funny story about, like, accidentally cutting his thumb off and, like, sewing it back on. You know, and then Moranus sees the tooth, and it kind of all comes together. And it should be said that Tom Arnold, at least this part of the movie, is playing very mild-mannered, like, kind of looking at his feet, kind of shuffling his... Yes. You know what I mean?

The, when Rick Moranis goes out and gets a drink with the guys again meets up with them, they say that he was completely changed into a different person after. he went to the asylum kind of known as Peewee prison. Rochester reformatory. Yikes, man. Yeah, and it's like, yeah, he's acting this way because he's broken because he got sleepered.

Okay. Like, Rick Moranis, you fucking ruin this kid's life. He was clearly, like, physically and mentally abused and the movie doesn't acknowledge it properly. At least the kids and sleepers ruined the life of a hot dog merchant. You know what I mean? Like, this kid fucking took a moon.

rock for a week. We could just we could really just like ease up on the punishment. Another hilarious detail that is when he gets out of Peewee prison and he goes back to the hometown his parents have disappeared and just left. Yes, and then he got sent to a fucking home.

An orphanage it says, yeah, or they say in the film. Those also aren't great. Yeah, Lord knows what happened after that. The other thing that happens that I didn't know this was even a thing at the bar scene is he orders a corona with lines. and they act like he's ordering a bowl of shit from their asses.

There's a literal record scratch. Yeah, it's, what is this? It's the early 90s, it's the mid-90s rather, and it was just Budweiser at that point. Corona was like big city, hoity-toity, I suppose, at the time. Yeah, I guess it's more like Californian in there in the Midwest where you drink like schlitz and shit. Oh, wow, he ordered a Mexican beer. That's weird. Oh, let's kill him.

Yeah, let's go kill him. and like that's the only and that would also be something to explore in this movie again I'm very happy with a 90 minute runtime but like to explore like oh man I can't even get good Mexican food out here or whatever like I liked in Oakland

when I could just do this or that like what's the music scene here oh nothing like you know like whatever that kind of a thing cultural fish out of water shit but see that would make sense if he was a fish because he's just he's always a fish out of water

because he's a he's I feel like you get no idea of what his life in Oakland was. It doesn't seem like he liked it there either. So why would he care? That's a great point, right? That's what you read my mind. Like, that would make a difference to him if he liked living in Oakland, which clearly he did not

because it's all just murder and rap music according to this movie. Yet he stayed there. That was the site of the cucketing. I can't, any chance I can get out of Oakland, the cuck capital of America for me man she fucked the cable guy and made me watch it infected a 10 mile radius around my house

I can't go back she fucked the cable guy and made me watch for some reason my mind was envisioning that the cable guy fucks the wife and sets up the cable and at the TV's broadcasting and fucking even better you'll never survive the cucketing oh man look out this summer So all of these grown-up guys are like kind of like, you know, sort of character actors here and there. But did you guys catch grown-up Allen who this dude is? Yeah. I've seen him a ton, but he's, so the actor is Harry Waters Jr. He's the guy who played Marvin Barry in Back to the Future.

Oh, shit. That's awesome. Totally. Yeah, so they do give him the whole run down here. Parents left town when he went to peewee prison, then was sent to an orphanage. Rick Moranis is feeling totally terrible. We get a peek in here now at Tom Arnold's home life

where, you know, like Steve mentioned like he is, you know, very he's a quiet guy now and totally broken man. So like the family is using him as a dormant just like we see earlier in the film. There's a scene where his students in the shop class also just walk all over him and treat him like garbage.

But man, I love fucking Carol Kane as his wife. Oh, she's awesome. Anytime she pops up, it's just, she's a legend. She's the best. and he's got like what four or five fucking children running around I almost threw up that's what I need to see I there's something off with this timeline because at some point clearly they were fucking like rabbits to create all of these things so like he clearly lapsed after like because the way this paints it is like he can only get horny when Rick Moranis is around yes absolutely you're right that's kind of how they cut but like and that but there was some there had to be some sometime between the reformatory and the orphanage where he was still like a bad boy. Well, Chris, I

think what happens is he gets with the lady you know, they have that phase where they're screwing all the time. They get into this marriage and it starts slowing down. And then, you know, Rick Moranis reinvigorates his life. You know, now he's got a pep and he's got

purpose again. Okay. See, that's something to picture during sex. Rick Moranis. Well, sure, he was fucking Carol Kane and like they had these kids and whatever but the only time he truly felt alive was when he was bullying Rick Moran. Yes, yes exactly. Okay. It's like sexual

release to bully you know. Psychology. That's the weird part about adult bullies right because like that's it's just sexual at that point because like bullying as a kid you're just like you know you're lashing out at people and you're just like you're probably getting hit at homes you're hitting people in

your you know whatever and like right but to an adult man like adult man fighting another man that's like you know that's fighting whatever but like bullying another man like a wet really incredibly sexual wedgy pretty sexual does that happen a lot to me yeah adults bully you

no they don't I'm kidding so thus begins like this Tom Arnold like head games campaign against Rick Moranis where like Tom Arnold I have to admit doing a pretty good job at making other people think that Rick Moranus is totally fucking crazy I'm sorry, we should say

like he doesn't know who Rick Moranis is and he has his humdrum life but then it clicks at some point because he hears this name and he's like he becomes awakened again and it's a very weird scene. His son Kirby who's the nerd that's being bullied by Ben Rick Moranis' kid

says that oh my teacher Mr. Leary and he puts it together he met a new teacher named David so yeah yeah and you're right though because it is Tom Arnold being like Yeah, there's a big realization shot. Oh, my God.

And then he gets this creepy smile for the rest of the movie. Wait, your new teacher's Timothy Leary? What is he giving you? What is he telling you about? Like, you know, so in this cafeteria scene, he's dining. Rick Moranis is at the lunch table with Curtis Armstrong. We know in love, of course, is Booger from Revenge of the Nerds. He is a delight in this movie, kind of, right?

I need more Curtis Armstrong though man Because as it is with the the amount where it's like It's it's too little but not like nothing So it feels like there should be more with Booger Yes it feels like there should be more because he plays such a weirdo Yeah he does he's like he's talking to himself with the teacher's lounge He's like putting all this weird salt on his food like a creep The weird stutter

The stutter is odd The stutter he later out of the film he runs into Rick Moranus on the street and, you know, there's that whole he's like freaking out about he thinks Rick Moranis is the problem in the school. He's obsessed with him in some way. I didn't quite get that whole thing.

No. Curtis Armstrong's been doing it for fucking for 30 odd years now, man. Better off dead. Killing it. Risky business. Pretty much the same character there. He's very funny on the old Fox show New Girl. He plays

the principal of the school that Zoe de Chanel's character works for and he's, let me tell you, fucking hysterical. It is a very funny character so perfectly made for Curtis Armstrong. If you ever wind up seeing any of that show, try to catch an episode with him in it.

He's very funny. I'm on the IMDB right now and I'm looking at a picture of him and I forgot he was in this that he plays like the kindly record executive in Ray. Oh, yes. A very odd turn for Booger

from Revenge of the Nerds to be in an Oscar an Oscar picture. Taylor Hackford's just a huge Revenge of the nerds fan. It's possible. Maybe. Probably that's a question and you know, we're not going to scan his IMDB profile right now, but like how many Oscar nominated films

has Kurt as Armstrong been affiliated with? I would wager that's the only one. I would think one maybe, right? I mean, yeah. There's a great moment of cowardice in this movie. So like once, you know, Rick Moran has the realization he's freaking out there's a scene where like he's leaving the school late

after grading papers and tom arnold's like following him at a like a fast pace and then like when he gets to the door he's like hey you dropped your pan like shit like that but there is this moment of cowardice where rick rannis is in the school and he's looking to see like if tom arnold's around this kid this tall kid who's like they give him a basketball so you know he's on the basketball team and Rick Veranis like hides behind this kid And I mean I get it You're like whatever You're afraid of this guy

And he's a much bigger dude than you But like be like hey dude You wanna fucking fight me or do I have to call the cops Because you need to leave me the fuck alone I'm gonna you gotta nip this in the bud Exactly That's the thing is because he Tom Arro the whole point is like

Like kind of makes the point like You know you're doing it back to me We're a team we do this back and forth And like he keeps denying I'm like, no, you are doing it by not just putting your foot down. Yes, exactly. You want this. You are into this.

Yes, because they're all falling back into their old tropes. Like Dave, Davey, you know, Rick Moranis, instead of going to the police, he's going to complain to the principal. Yes. Yeah. Yep. You fucking coward, dude, exactly. Dude, I got to say, one of the most shocking shots in this film, and I don't think they intended it to be, but it's just weird. is Moranus in the teacher's lounge.

This is like boogers freaking out about something again. And Rick Maranis opens a closet and the little nerdy kid is inside. He's been given an atomic wedgy and he's hanging from this door. But Rick Moranis opens the door so fast. I literally thought there was someone who would hang themselves in this closet. It was bone chilling. I thought like there was like a dead cat that Tom Arnold had put in there or something. I was like

after one week on the set of big bully one cast member had to hang themselves but this is where and this is so weird

because he's like oh you got an atomic wedgy huh let me walk you home and this is where instead of being like I will talk to my kid

this is totally unacceptable I was a villain of bullying myself he's giving this kid tips on how to dodge the bully includes

Oh, have you tried to pay my son money every week in allowance to not bully you? Because that's what I do. I pay my own son. You ever think about not taking a shower after a while? Your balls and asshole will smell so bad. No one's going to want to bully you. God damn.

Like what are you? Dude, you are now a teacher at this school. Yeah. Go. Go around. Just go shit your pants everywhere. Nobody will ever bother you again. Just go around everywhere you go, shitting your pants and pissing yourself. And up until this point, Tom Arnold has been doing like the head games thing where it's like it could totally be misconstrued as Tom Arnold like just being, you know, nice big Russ or whatever. And Rick Maranis is like blowing out of proportion. But this scene in their driveway because he walks this kid home and then Tom Arnold is right there like coming home from work. and they're in the driveway and they have this face off and this is where the movie turns and it's kind of like well done

you see in his face like he turns off that fucking innocent shit and goes back to being full crazy guy mode and it's like it's an impressive bit of facial expression I have to give it to him so you know that whole thing happens he just again kind of just runs away

from Tom Arnold and then we get like Victoria asking this is weird she asks there's a Sadie Hawkins dance going on which, you know, in America, that's a thing where like girls ask boys to the dance, whatever. I was going to ask what the hell that was. I thought it had to do with, I don't know, the witch trials or...

No, it's just more antiquated Mayberry bullshit where, oh, the girls ask the boys. Yeah, they should be asking the boys. But this woman's like, oh, you want to go to this Sadie Hawkins dance? It's like Western themed. I have to chaperone it. And I was under the impression that she's like, asking Rick Maranis, since he teaches at the school, to also be a chaperone.

And instead he's like, oh, yeah, I got a date with this lady. It's going to be awesome. And then at the dance, and they're acting like it is a date. She's not like, oh, would you like to chaperone this dance with me? And she's like, I want to fuck you so goddamn bad in front of all these kids. And he's like, that sounds hot. Do you think they'll fire me if I put my hand down your pants and touch your penis in the middle of the dance? do you think they'll fire me

because I don't care I really don't care anymore Touch Lord Helmet Do it Give Lord Helmut a good polish Darth helmet apologies It's oh Darth It's right

It's dark helmet And I think Lord Helmut I'll accept Okay good Well what if we go Under the bleachers in the gymnasium Give old Darth helmet a fucking

Polish. Because yeah, I mean, like he's like getting dressed for a date and like they get there and they are like, it's one thing like the teachers are just kind of talking while the kids they're like dancing and slowed. He's got his arm around her small of her back. I'm like, dude, this is way inappropriate. And the now, now Ben, the son that's a bully has other bully friends now and they now respect his father for for making a move on her. Yeah. One of these friends, I can't, the name is Stuckie. Yep. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, what? I don't know. I want to know. I want to know what the root of that is. Where did that even come from? Well, I'll tell you one thing about our friend Stooky, dude. You listen to this motherfucker. This kid was born inside a matrix fucking tube filled with maple syrup.

This is the most Canadian person I've ever heard in my life. And by the way, you know, we've, sometimes I've seen a weird name and made a comment on it. Chris, the, the Stooky people are kind of, I guarantee you, there's at least two Stookies listening to this episode right now. Look, it was their parents' problem for thinking, we'll call him Stewart and then just tripping into Wookie halfway through. Or I'd be like, Stooky, okay, okay, okay. You got to feel it. If your name is Stewart and then like people start calling you Stucky, you're like, no, dude, it's Stu. stop. Say Stu. I'd even take Stewie. Why not? Stew is fine. Stewie in the face of Stooky? Of course. The other kid, because it was driving me

nuts, was the is the lead, who has like one line in this movie? Because Stooky has a real scene coming up. But this other kid who's like the third kid in the movie is, was the lead in small soldiers. Oh, yes. Oh, you're right. Yeah. Yeah.

That's, oh, thank you. It was driving me crazy. It was. And I was looking through his IMDB profile. I just totally missed it. Other thing I wanted to point out, another inappropriate fucking action on the dance floor with Rick Moranis and this woman, when they finished the slow dance, he's like, hey, you want to get some punch? And they walk across the gymnasium to the punch table holding hands with one another. And I'm like, forget the fact that this is a child's dance and you're chaperoning it. You're co-workers. What are you doing?

And by the way, at Kirby, the son of Tom. Arnold at this dance, I believe is shown for a second wearing a Confederate dress hat. Thank you very much. That was in my notes. That's a weird one, Kirby. You know what?

Oh, eep. And that just means, honestly, and it looked a little big, that just means Tom Arnold's character just has Confederate memorabilia laying around his trailer in Minnesota. Oh my God. Yeah, the Stuckey will rise again, dude.

I didn't have anything else for my costume. What was I supposed to do? Dude, speaking of costumes, I have to say, when Rick Moranis, when Rick Moranis, like, is getting ready to go, he's got, like, he's got a Canadian tuxedo. He's doing the denim shirt and denim pants. He's got this cowboy hat that's too small for his head, which is always a rescue run with cowboy hats.

And then he's wearing this neckerchief. And the kid, the shitty son, Ben, is for once, he gives him some good advice. lose the hat. You look absolutely terrible. And I was like, well done. And when he takes the hat off with the hair and the glasses frames that he has and that neckerchief, he looked exactly like Peter Bogdanovich. He was so insane. And I started thinking I was like, oh shit. Like obviously he's a little older now. So maybe you position it as some like latent life thing. Like it's Bogdanovich trying to get the other side of the wind finished for the New York Film Festival. And like it's Rick Moranis playing a late in life Peter Bogdanovich. That is how you get this legendary man in the Academy Award right there. Fuck yes. All because of that necker chip.

Cosine, dude. Absolutely. Do it. So we should point out because this is where things get a little messy is way back in the flashbacks. There's some tossed off gag where Tom Arnold's character, the little boy version of him,

pisses in a thermos, and Rick Brannis like almost drinks it or whatever. And so they go to the punch bowl and this woman's got the glass of punch and she's about to drink it and Rick Rannis sees Tom Arnold just like, I love all the close up slow motion Tom Arnold

nodding and smiling in this movie like yeah and do it you're gonna drink my piss again aren't you and he's showing that little tooth that creeps it's even creeper on Tom Arnold to be honest with you folks but what is Steve let me ask you is what is creepier

I feel it's probably Tom Arnold but I just want to check in Tom Arnold's fang tooth in this movie or the disgusting Joe Peshy gold tooth and home alone. Tom Arnold's fang tooth. Yeah.

It's, yeah. The whole tooth is fine. It's a little creepy, but this is just sort of like, it's just, and the fact that they're calling him, Fang, just really creeps me out, bad, not good. But you know what you shouldn't do, folks? Even if someone is feeding your potential girlfriend piss, you don't, do you don't jump in front of her, put your arm in front of the drink, knock it down all over her dress. Hey, hey, Fang, no cutting in line, man.

I was going to pee in her drink. I'm putting in the work here on her first day. I was going to take the punch out of the equation. Right into the mouth. Right before this. Oh, man. Come on, Kevin. Right into her mouth. Before this altercation, by the way, I want to quickly mention it.

Throw it under the gate here that there's an uncomfortable gay joke between Rick Moranus and this woman where she said that she went off to college. and dated a football player. Oh, no, she dated the high school football player who went to college to pursue football, but then started dating someone else, the wide receiver. I saw this come in a mile of fucking way. And I had my 90s glasses on because she's like,

he started dating someone else. And Rick Brannis is like, let me guess at cheerlet. I'm like, I know. No, no, here it goes. Come on, let's do it. You can tell it's going to be so bad because it takes,

it's a long route. to get to this joke. It's almost like the screenplay itself was like, oh, I don't know if we should do this. Let me put some other lines of dialogue and to delay us getting to that joke. Honestly, if it's down between doing something like this, what you do in this five to 10 minutes, Rick Moranis and drinking a little piss, you drink a little piss. I'm sorry. You take you. You just, you know what? Be a fucking adult for once. You're a parent. You've drank piss before. Come on. Absolutely. Drink a little piss. And that's the thing is you have to act normal in public. I don't care what the book. The thing is act normal.

Let the bully come to you. Yes. Yes. Also, yeah, Eric, you're completely right. What he should do is actually he sees that. Even if it's not in there, even if it's not in there, look Tom Arnold dead in the eyes and drink what you think is piss. Absolutely. He won't know what to do.

He won't know what to do after that. You're totally right, Chris. He is rendered powerless. It's like, oh, my God. That was like the greatest thing I had. I put my bodily fluid in a cup and he drank it. Do you? He didn't care.

Do you think a man who has to go through that is going home and fucking Carol Kane? I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. You know what my favorite part about drinking punches, Victoria? It's delicious. I just gargling in front of him. I fucking let him know

you are so undeterred by his own urine. That's how you get the upper hand. What's crazy though about this is like the way, like Rick Rannis does overreact but he does it in a way where it's like he just, he winds up spilling her drink and some punch goes all over and she's like, ah, oh punch, I can't believe, what are you doing?

But like, the dumb part about this is it brings this entire dance to a dead stop. Which makes no sense. Yeah, like they stop playing music. what is going on over there. Stooky's got a great line. Your dad's a spas. Correct. Correct, Stucky. You have it correct, buddy. Yep. Because I think everybody was just like watching not even quietly like, oh, he's going to fuck her right now, dude. Oh, it's going to have it. Oh, wait, he fucked it up. You fucked it up, nerd. And it is great because like just right before this when Stuckey and the rest of the fucking kids are like, oh my God, is that your dad dating miss whoever? And, you know, Ben is like, you know, Ben is like, you know, Ben is like, you know, Yeah, it is. And they're like, wow, your dad's a fucking legend, man. You fucking see that prize piece. That's our sex ed teacher. And then instantly Rick Moranis destroys that. Hey, Ben, have you seen his dick? It's got to be huge, right? I mean, Jesus Christ.

I can lean forward like the Moonwalker video and support myself because of my huge tripod. Because I'll be honest, Ben, I look at this aesthetically. It makes no sense. But if he has a huge dick. He's secretly Don Nauts his son. Oh, that's right. Big Dick is hereditary. Ben, was your dad in Ghostbusters?

Oh, that's who? Yeah, no, that makes sense. She totally be a damn. Absolutely. Yeah. He's in Ghostbusters? Yeah, the guy's a legend. It's awesome.

The kid, Ben, at some point, toward the end of the movie, is wearing a fucking slimeer T-shirt, by the way. Really? I miss that. Yeah. Yeah, he's wearing it at the end. I think it's after this display that Ben tries to run away from home

because his dad's such a spaz And this is when I started cackling because it's like I'm going to go visit mom And Rick Moranus is like Yeah well nobody knows where she is You need to tell me that earlier Listen I killed your mother years ago

Let it go Hope you got a Ouija board in that bag Ben Because you're not going to find her If you barring that maybe some scuba equipment will go back to the Bay Area. Yeah, I don't think you're going to find her, Ben, because she is technically in Texas, Arizona, Oregon, part of California, also in North Dakota.

I mailed Harvard of the New York Times and Harvard of the San Francisco Globe. I threatened them to tell me to stop to kill again, but no one ever came after me. I warned him, Ben. I fucking warned them all. Oh, he's in Oakland. What if? And the timeline almost matches.

What if he was the little Zodiac, guys? What if he was a tiny Zodiac? Oh, what's your sign? I get so pissed off watching young lovers in the park on picnic blankets. You know, Ben, the scariest part is how easy it is. I'm going to watch these little kiddos get popped off in a school bus one after another. I also super love painting movie posters. This is...

This is all to say that I don't think you're going to find your mother anytime soon and you better come home with me, young man. Wait a second, Ben. I'm getting mixed up. Was your mother a Bay Area cab driver? I shot in the back of the head. Oh, no.

Okay. It would be great. Like, Tom Arles like, yeah, man. Now we're going to be best friends again, Davy. And he's like, you don't know who you're messing with. And he gets the Zodiac outfit out. That needs to be the turn. That would be such a delightful turn for this movie.

I didn't think I was going to have to bring this out in Minnesota, but here we are. Hey, Fang, why don't you try solving this cipher? It is also hilarious to point out that Rick Moranis is forced to drive home. This is a bad move on his part. Tom Arnold has let all the air out of all four tires of this car. and Rick Moranus like drives home and Tom Arnold is just like, ah, you better be careful with that buddy. It's really bad for the axle or whatever. And I was like, well, this is like hundreds of dollars that Rick Moranus can charge

this guy because he drives all the way home like this car is irreparably damaged. Oh yeah. If you want to start talking lawsuits, I mean, the olive oil lady is taking him to the cleaners. Oh, God. Yes. And our montage of pranks or whatever. Oh my God. Yes. Yes. Yes. He puts some olive oil on the ground in David Leary, Rick Romeranis's classroom and some other lady walks in and eat shit on it. And he comes out and

it's like, ha! And I'm like, ha, I'm taking you for all your worth. Which isn't much, but still. And then he puts like shoe polish in the, on the phone receiver and he takes apart like the desk chair so everything falls apart and he gets paint all over himself.

Yeah. Can we talk about really quickly because I think we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, mentioned it barely but so like you know we see there's two scenes of Tom Arnold at home one he's the butt of the joke the kids are going nuts and Carol Kane's like you're a piece of shit I'm smoking cigarettes I'm out of here

the second time he comes home all horned up from having bullied Rick Moradis it might even be the night of the big dance he comes home I think it is yeah he starts telling the kids what's what he's like you clean this you go to bed and now we're fucking

and I'm like dude yikes You, we watch too much TV, picks up the TV and throws it in the lake. He's having a manic episode. Tom Arnold throwing that television off the fucking dock into the water. I was howling laughing. I thought it was that funny. I would admit that in public. Yeah.

You know, it's crazy. It's like, finally this guy gets it. Bullie your fucking family, pal. That's what they're there for. Oh, that's the other thing. He's going to go buy a power sander. Oh, yeah. I'm going to go to whichever home assisted.

franchise is most homophobic and I'm going to go buy a power sander from them. It's nothing you're going to different. Oh, okay. Just like a little checklist trying to find out who is the most homophobic. He's got a glasses. He's looking at Consumer Reports.

What's kind of weird about the Now We're Fucking thing is he tells all the kids to go to bed and then when he goes back to Carol Kane and it's like, and now we fuck. she has a line where she's like oh but what about the kids or whatever and he's like uh all right kids

get out of the house and go play in the yard yeah mommy and daddy are going to take a nap together but first before we fuck put on these glasses put on these glasses davy oh my god we're gonna could we put on honey I shrunk the kids in the background

what are you calling me Davey for yeah the oil's slipping and all those hijinks are the next day, right? Yes. There's also a brief scene of Tom Ardald in class, giving it to Stokey. He catches a projectile mid-air

and then like start screaming at this kid. He's about to kill this kid. He takes his kid and puts his head up against like a fucking buzzsaw. And he's like, well, you want to fucking die tonight, Stokey? Dude, and I got to tell you, I am fucking laughing. He's got this kid's face next to this fucking belt sander or whatever. And like, it's incredible because none of these kids says anything,

but the second someone goes to Don Nauts, it's like, you know, it should have, it doesn't happen, but it should have been like, what are you telling me? Stucky, you put your face near the belt, Samuel, my goodness gracious. Sorry, Stuckie, you didn't plan on me becoming erotically charged by my childhood nemesis coming back to doubt. But here we are. That's right, Stuckey.

I'm back, baby. And they contrast this with like, now their old rivalry. is flaring up and Ben and Kirby, the Sons, is diffusing because now Ben doesn't, there's no more thrill in beating Kirby anymore. With no assistance whatsoever from Rick Moranis. Ben has figured out that it's not good to bully and that it's empty and that Stuckey who just wants to watch is also getting off on watching Ben beat up Kirby. That's Stuckey is the, he's the most disappointed because they're like, It's a weird moment where, like, Ben and this kid, Kirby, like, come and meet each other in the hallway or whatever. And then this fucking Stooky, this little Woody Woodpecker instigator is just like, oh, hey there, Ben?

You're going to make sure you make short work of him, eh? Well, put Tim Hortons down his back of his shirt. That'll poison him good. Make him eat Tim Hortons. He'll be dead in second. Just stuff those stale Danishes right down his gullet. Hey, open this box of milk over his head then. Oh, man. Box of milk and bags of milks and whatever else.

The bag of milk. Apologies. Yeah. Yeah. We watch out. They'll kill you for that. Did you guys not have the bags of milk? No, no. Bags of milk. Yeah. There's a Canada thing. We in my grade school, Chris, I don't know. Chris and I went to different elementary schools. You didn't have this? I had cartons. I had cartons. we eventually had cartons but I want to say sometime around like the fifth grade or so they were like oh we have these things that are like for whatever reason a little bit better for the environment

than the paper cartons were and they were these little they sort of were shaped like bean bags but they were translucent and you oh I remember these a CalPri Sons yeah well done you know what good night everybody I was going to say that I thought maybe Albany was brief in Canada.

You got annexed. There was a weird thing, though. So you had these, and it came in, you know, chocolate milk and whole milk, right? And some of the kids, I never figured out how to do it, but some of the kids at school figure out a way where, like, if you twisted these things a certain way, it, like, slowly increased the pressure inside the bag and they would explode. So you basically had, like, these little milk grenades. And you'd be, you'd be walking across the playground.

it would be like, grenade! And like milk would just explode. And that's why you got cartons, right? I think they maybe switched back to cartons. Yeah, exactly. And then now finally we're at the oil slick. And then there's also the shoe polish on the phone and in his coffee mug. And then there's a shot of Rick Moranis kind of looking like the Joker a little bit.

Yes. Yes. This is great. I thought it was like, it way more looks like the Joker. It would have been funny if they just totally stole again from some. and he got a fucking Hitler mustache like Mr. Pitt. Beautiful. You know, you really shouldn't use brand X products.

You should be using the new and approved Joker products. Yeah, man, the Joker. He was the fucking ultimate bully. Love that, Davy. So Don Nott's is like, oh, and by the way, you're totally on fucking probation now because everybody hates you here, Rick Moranus. Because Curtis Armstrong comes in and like,

you have to do the Curtis Armstrong's legit cook. He's like, I'm crack, I swear to God, I saw him do it. And it's like, well, I believe that. And now this big fat guy is, couldn't possibly Billy a smaller guy. Well, also, like, he goes to Don Nott's over peas being thrown at him in the cafeteria. And he's like, and he says, I have no way of proving it. So it's like, yeah, I don't know.

This guy doesn't seem right either. This is where I sort of had the thought. Like, you know, we mentioned a way for Rick Moran. if you got him back to acting to to win an Oscar, right, playing Peter Bogdanovich. But also, like, this movie made me realize what we, you know, we don't need it, but we'd be totally fine if we had it. A fucking, like, unhinged-esque movie where Tom Arnold plays a family annihilator. Oh, yes. Because this performance, because this is right where things are about to amp up, because this is the scene, Rick Moranis is like, you know what?

this is enough meet me on the playground at 7 o'clock tonight we're going to talk about this and they're sitting on the seesaws and he's like by the way tom arnold i was the fucking dude that ruined your life and i tattled on you and tom arnold fucking really turns it up here and i was like ooh if he played a family annihilator man that would be an entertaining movie to be fair though Andrew he makes six to seven secret movies a year he might have done that twice he probably could see so this is this is fascinating usually i feel like i'm up on my actors that make secret movies, but you're telling me Tom Arnold's wrapped up in this? He has 180 credits right now, my friend.

180. This dude's always working. Wow. No, he really is. In 2021, he's got a movie called MVP, The Christmas Witch, Christmas Thieves, high holiday, Hollywood.com. I like that title. Four of those are finally annihilator movies. Like, it's just, it's inevitable

that those things are, it's happening. Listen, if that's the case, Chris, then I'll tell you right now, I'm going to be reading some plot descriptions tonight because I want to watch one of those movies. Like the house that Tom Arnold built. Show me that fucking movie. Oh my God. He's in a family rated G movie

from 2019 called the Pegasus colon, pony with a broken wing. Oh no. Uh-oh. In 2020, he will be in a movie, which I guarantee you is a secret movie because it's not going to be anywhere called Toomey the Hungry Tombur. Okay, folks. Friends

Stoller is in this film. of course. Oh, wow, it's a movie, huh? I really thought it was just going to be a web series. Can you film this in my apartment? Yeah, I'm actually voicing a polyp. You know, yeah, he's going to be the tumor. I'm the polyp. I'll tell you right now, if there's a thing with the talking polyp, they're ripping off a bit that Steve and I participated in about fucking 12 years ago. It's a pretty good bit. I will put that out. It was a very good bit. I think it's a very good bit. Also, in this movie, Ken Davitan, the dude who played Borat's

number two and the original Borat got canceled for like being a rapist or something but he's cool for the Toomey movie. Oh, no way! Yes. Eap.

I'm just letting you know he's in a lot of secret movies all of the time. This is fascinating because Tom Arnold is not a guy, like you know, Bruce Willis, absolutely the king of secret movies. There's like four on iTunes

right now that you can rent. Tom Arnold. Wow, I didn't see this coming. So, yeah, it's like, I did it, Ross, and I enjoyed it. Man, this is, you get fucking Tom Arnold's like, all right, Rick Maranis. Like, I'm going to go off the seesaw now. And I'm going to drop you. And like, Rick Moranis holds his ground and he stands firm. And he's like, ha, ha, didn't get me this time. And Tom Arnold, my guy.

And this is, oh, this is great. Tom Arnold, he's built like a brick shit house, man. Dude could have been a fucking linebacker. And like, he stamps down on this fucking. and seesaw. And this thing hits Rick Moranus in the nuts. And like two seconds later, Rick Moranis is running away from him. Absolutely not. I'm sorry, Rick Moranus, you are done for the night. Yes. That is when you go to the police. Take a look at this hog. It's been mutilated. We're also crap. Oh my God. You're also crab walking for the rest of the night. That was

a very wide seat right there. But you're right. He's spry here. He's almost doing parkour. He jumps into a window to escape him. And uh-oh, it's the shop class. This is the moment. you really have to decide is this going to be a really dark movie or is this a goofy fun movie? Because, and it happened, again, this is, they won't make the decision.

Like throughout this movie, they will not make this decision because he's like, he gets off it and you would think, oh, he's just going to strangle him and kill him right here as one would.

But no, he's got to do the goofy, fucking like, oh, I'm going to hit your balls first. I thought it was going to end like Alan Ruck and freaky, man.

Like, you get annihilated and shop class that would be nice and by the way i love the line that tom arnold has here when he when he comes in the other side of the door from the into the shop class they're both in the shop class tom arnold yells welcome to hell you're pretty listen pretty funny you ever been to hell davy i've been to hell i was in jail because i stole a rock is what tom arnold says and i'm like yeah yeah absolutely that's pretty fucked up dude i mean i'm kind of on your side i do That's the thing, Chris, on your point, like, there's two different ways this could go.

It's like, right now he's like, I was in hell, Davey, they beat me in there. They, they did things to me in there that I, that no one should ever do to a kid. That's the dark version. Or, you know what I mean? Like, or a cutesy other way of just like, this one is like, oh, blah, what does he say? He says something like, I had to, I was in there for stealing a rock and they're a kid that burned his mother alive. Yeah, there is like actual murderers and he had to be the kid that was, like, like, I'm in here because I stole a rock.

Well, okay, but this is, I'm sorry. Somebody should have talked to this kid before he went to prison. You absolutely have to make up a better story. Yes, you do. You have to lie. Fat kid, somebody should have gotten into the, the detectives even. You know what?

You're shitty enough. Just tell the kid, look, kid, say you murdered your sister. You know, you beat her to death one night in the crib. It's fine. Tell them, it was Halloween night. You picked up, you killed the babysitter with the knife. That'll work. That'll work. That'll work. That'll be fine.

That'll be fine. Did you guys notice right here in this scene when Rick Moranis' character is jumping through the window into the shop room? I never thought I'd see this, but you get a fucking full-on shot clear-as-day image of a Rick Moranus stunt double. Oh, wow. I never thought I'd see the day, dude. I blinked and I missed it. Yeah, today I'm doing. Rick Moranis tomorrow. I got Danny DeVito

in L.A. Confidential. And then, yep, I'm doing a Macaulay at the end of the week. Yeah, I was in Little Rascals. Oh, what's my name? Yeah, my Nick Hottanis. I've been doing this for years, you know, and the industry has changed so much even the last couple years. I mean, it's unbelievable. But, you know, I work. I work. Yeah, I had a lot of fun on the set of this boy's life. when Robert De Niro

I get to throw me around the bunch It was a lot of fun Great act You know I loved in The Good Sun You know When I was hanging off that rock cliff For a second

It was me and this other guy Who was all so tiny We were fighting each other And they just put the cameras From far away I got to spend time in In New England for that one It was a lot of fun

Yeah And then I was I played Mr. Bill on SNL Yeah you know They fit me with a bald cap once And I did all the stunts for Wallace Shaw during my dinner with Andre. Wait, wait, he was eating those olives?

I ate the olives for him. He was allergic, it turns out. He bit down on that fork a little harder than usual. Yeah, that was me. Every time Wally had to drop a piece of silverware on the floor, I was the guy bending down to get it. God damn. That movie fucking rules.

It does. It's great. Absolutely. So, yeah, total fucking freak out. He's like, this is where he's shooting the nail gun at him and all that shit. It's cute because it turns into Bugs Bunny's shit because he makes a total circle. outlier of him in nails like

no you're trying to kill this guy right I need like at least a hand to get pinned against the wall or even his or even his jacket it's like that's getting pretty close yes exactly like the sleeve the sleeves of both jackets so it looks like he crucified him but it's yeah

it just got the sleeves oh this was a new member's only jacket or yeah he gets he gets nails in both arms and then he goes to the police and then like, get out of here. That's just stigmata, you idiot. The Catholic church's up to hall. Whatever. So Rick Moranis, you know, starts running away. And now it's like back to these weird chases that they had as kids where Tom Arnold is literally hunting him in the

forest. And we get to like this like waterfall, river crossing thing where there's this huge tree sort of laid down across it, like a little footbridge. And, we have this weird fucking standoff man where it's the two of them on this thing Rick Rannis like has a branch

and he's like I'm done being scared of you Tom Arnold Yeah you know you never thought you'd run up against my deadlights Davy Ha

Oh Well yeah that's What's weird about this is Tom Arna's literally tried to tell him he loves him Yes Like that's the

It's such a weird scene Like he's like I only get excited And happy about life When you're around to when I'm bullying you. You're my best friend and I love you

because I get to make fun of you all the time. Oh, you killed me. Oh, whoops. Oh, I'm glad. Okay. I got to tell you last night,

I don't know. I thought I was going to get evicted when he goes over this waterfall and disappears like, like, it's like the end of the movie.

I'm like, did they just kill him? Because I mean, I know he's not dead. He's like, ah! I was slapping my knees, both knees,

cackling at this it's it's great it's fucking totally crazy shit I love it I really really love it and you're right it should be like well that's the end of that now we're gonna figure out like how this guy deals I mean because let me tell you

this is a fall okay it's not like it's not like whatever we went to Barbados and we were jumping off the waterfalls into the lagoon this is a fucking like the fugitive this dude is falling like a hundred feet

into this water and you've got I mean it's not not a fugitive at least like A it's Harris and Ford is in great shape and B like it's a big ravine kind of a thing this is there's rocks everywhere there's no way he's surviving yeah but it was appreciated

to see them actually go for something like this because it's been such a small contained movie of just bullying around the school and the shitty town oh yeah I think it's because Steve Minor was like you know what I think the audience would love to see Tom Arnold go off of water Also Steve Miner

is happy in the woods with his Jason stuff he's like I want to get back to my roots you know you're my best friend I don't care blow off the city

I mean this I honestly thought he was dead and I thought when he gets the pyromaniac of firemen Ulf which is like the name of a troll guard

in Lord of the Rings like he he's going to go it actually sounds like he's going to destroy the body like when they oh yeah it actually sounds like that but it's astounding because like yeah Rick Moranus is walking home

and this guy Ulf just drives up in the fire truck like he's walking around with the company car I guess and he's like he tries I'm sorry he tries to turn himself into the police but the police is closed because it's small town cute joke oh yeah it's it's a it's a real

back in five kind of gag but so like Rick Rannis tells this guy what happened and like I really did not expect to hear in this movie where this guy goes all right just go home you need some rest I'm going to go back out I'm going to drive back out there and look for the body

man was my eyebrow it is implied that he's going to help cover it up and this guy's known for fire when he was with the kids earlier he was like kids want to see me set my arm on fire pyromaniac he's going to burn the body and get rid of any evidence is what it feels

like. Look, Davey, you just killed your nemesis. You're going to be feeling great. You're going to sleep soundly. You're not going to be thinking about any murder charges or anything like that. So you just go home and me and the lie will go take care of O'Ross. Come on, lie. Let's go. And he's got a fucking big bucket with a seatbelt on. Right. I just came back from the quarry buried a body. All right. It's back to the quarry, I guess. Jesus Christ. That's how a small town stay small. Yes, absolutely. Then we get this good moment with, I think that, I mean, I don't think they're necessary to be in the movie, but Jeffrey Tambourne here, doing his midnight lawn regiment

was kind of funny for me. Yeah, totally. He's like, you killed the shop teacher, didn't you? Which is fucking great. Like, Moranis is just like, whoa, what are you talking about? It's got some great ratatette about like, well, you know,

only you can really define if that was murder to you, you know? Like, he's like, everything else is like semantics. You know, the first time I tried to kill Betty, and then it's like, he's backing off, he's like, you tried to kill Betty. He's like, hey, I didn't kill the shop teacher. You killed the shop

teacher. You killed the shop teacher. That is such a fucking great line from Tambor though, because I just, it's one of those things like, The Simpsons were always really good about this too. The addition of a single word makes that joke a thousand times funnier. And it's the fact that

he says, I remember the first time I tried to kill my, like, fuck, that's funny. Oh, my God, that's funny. I mean, there's so many ways to take being terribly abusive on set. You have to make that judgment on your own if you're terribly abusive on set and act completely like a dick to people that trust you. That's just a judgment on your own half you have to do. But for some reason, like, Ben is just like, calls up Kirby and he's like, is your dad at home. I was like, no. You don't want to stay over my house. And it's like only to set up this last

scene where Rick Brannis comes in like covered in blood or covered in rain, sorry, rain. No, but he is bleeding though. Oh, that's right. Yes. And he's just like, I'm going to bed. Oh, hey Kirby. Uh, hope you like your mom because your dad's fucking dead. Hey, Kirby, uh, on a scale of one to ten, how 10 being the best and one being horrible. how would you rate your relationship with your mother Kirby, do your do your grandparents happen to live

nearby? Would they be able to pick up some babysitting shifts maybe? Look after you. But so he goes into bed and no Tom Arnold is alive and he just like starts to he gets into bed with Rick Moranus finally his dream come true

and it doesn't go well. Honestly, I was hoping for more sensual scene or a much more violent scene either or and neither happens. It's just kind of like a toss up. Yeah. Yeah, they start rolling around but then like Tom Arnold just starts choking him out.

Yeah. The kids come in and they're just like you know this kid Kirby's like you know dad me and Ben made up but can't you guys do the same and this it's fucking hilarious because then he's just like come on Ben Connie's on

and Connie is like this Sally Jesse Raphael type daytime trash show that they like watching. And I love the exchange between the two kids because it's like, come on Ben, Connie's on. And the other kid Ben is just like, cool. It is good to have, I think every movie should have its own like six sad world fake TV show

in the background. I really like those. I'm a big fan. That's a 90s. It's a 90s move man. You do that in the 90s. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's where we had a lot of that stuff. We had Sally Jesse. We had hard copy. Ricky. All that shit. But Connie was a real show, right?

No. It was fake. If you go, like, way down on the IMDB to, like, the uncredited part of the cast list, like, there's an actress credited as playing this Connie TV character. Yeah, it's weird. So, yeah, they decide to just make up and, you know, kind of shake hands or whatever. Rick Moranus decides he's now moving to New York City for whatever reason. Sure.

Time's a charm. And this romantic plot that they've totally dropped, she's just like, oh, I guess I'll visit you in New York. He's like, you'd better. I'll call you. Bye. The first thing I do when I land at JFK, I'm going to the duty free shop and buying a case of condoms.

I'll see you later. We should mention that fang no longer has his fang. You got chipped. Oh, yeah. Oh, and you know, it is, it's weird. And I don't know, maybe I got hoodwinked by this movie a little bit. but I did also like when Tom Arnold realizes that

and he has the line he just goes Fang's gone and you realize like all this shit that he's carried with him is totally a race because this happened and you know whatever maybe I'm giving this movie less much credit you're giving Tom Arnold the correct amount of credit he's good in this role

yeah he is yeah yeah all right all right I didn't know if I was crazy no no yeah but you're totally right you need a scene because he does say at one point he's like oh yeah well Victoria hates my guts and I'm gonna get fucking fired and all that like so you need a scene where he comes and is like look I've been being an asshole you know we're getting out of here maybe Donnott's did fire me after the semester you know we're gonna move to New York I'd love it if you came and then she's like I don't know and closes the door on him then you get to this next day Tom Arnold comes yeah they have another make good heat Tom Arnold gives him a new evil Knievel doll which is something he destroyed a you you know, when they were kids or whatever.

And Rick Rannis actually finds the decapitated doll body all these years later in the forest right before Tom Arnold goes over the edge. But then in the driveway, when this Victoria character comes back, she, you know, then it's like, I thought about what you said last night, blah, blah, blah. I'd love to, you know, visit you there someday.

And that's, that's at least set up a little better. It's just her showing up, it's just like, but the last I saw you, you fucking hated this guy because he spilled fucking punch piss all over you. It's been, and this movie has it in spades. Like, things just dis-up here, which is fine. Again, 90-minute runtime, no complaints. Yeah, but, like, the other thing should be, right?

Like, did the firefighter guy find Tom Arnold? And he's just, you know, he was, like, sitting on the bank of the fucking river or whatever. And, you know, this olf guy's like, oh, hey there, Ross. Like, what's going on, man? And then, like, Tom Arnold's like, oh, ah, you know, just, like, runs away or something. Like, that guy goes to the. ravine and you never see him. Better yet. At the end of the movie, Ulf is like wishing him well. Like, ah, we're going to miss you here, Davy.

And then Tom Arnold shows. Oh, my God. Who the fuck did I bury last night? There's another fat man, Davy. I found him. I don't know who it was. It was dark and muddy. There's a fat body. I buried it. Maybe it was that friend of theirs. I wasted all that manpower burying that body when I could have been burying this body. Hey, Davey, you still want me to kill him?

But yeah, so we're moving to NYC, and they kind of shake hands, and he's like, hey, Ross, seriously, like, if you're ever in New York, look us up. And the fucking dumb gag at the end of this movie is Tom Arnold is directly behind them with the mobile home, and they're all, like, quote unquote, moving to

New York with their mobile home. Yeah. sequel set up dude yeah too even bigger bully big bully big city

oh oh I like this yep bully in the big city dude absolutely apparently there was supposed to be a sequel

and then this movie failed horribly at the box office and they gave up which is also fine

nice now with me and it it will be the bigger city everything is bigger with Ross

oh that's right I forgot he's Ross bigger is the name man that's a dumb fucking It is the bigger apple. And that's the end of this movie, man.

Would anybody recommend it? Chris Cabin, we'll start with you today. Oh, I kind of have to. I've watched this movie like at least 10 times in my life. I thought this was funny when I was a kid. I mean, I was like 13. There's probably right at the end of that. But, you know, I have nostalgia for it.

I almost think there's a good movie here. It's just they, they didn't go, they didn't make a decision. They tried to have it both ways, as we've said a hundred times during the episode. But like, that kind of ruins it. If it had been more of a darker, like almost horror movie, yeah, I think this would have been great. But the family thing feels false, especially with a lot of the other decisions they decide to stick with. So, yeah, I'll recommend it. Light Railway, man, recommend.

Eric Siska. Yeah, I don't know if I can do that, but. I'm sorry, Dave. I can't recommend Big Bulley. I think it definitely has its moments. Now I've seen it twice within like a six month period or whatever it is.

So it definitely has its moments but and maybe if you're very curious, seeing is believing. But other than that, not really. I mean, I think Tom Arnold and Rick Moranis are fine here. I like Booger. I like certain elements, but at the same time,

it doesn't know, it doesn't know if it's if it's family film or a dark film and that's kind of a problem yeah uh steve yeah it's a i'm with eric i just can't get there i'm close because there are i mean again i think the most i've laughed this entire year it's still early uh is tom arnold falling into the ravine there um but it just it doesn't know what it wants to do and it just doesn't it doesn't work as a movie and it just it also like i don't mind that if it's like a joke machine or a creep machine or but it just sort of fizzles out in general.

Like, when it's over, like, oh, I guess that was the ending. Yeah. So I kind of can't get there. And I don't have a nostalgia for it because I didn't watch it growing up. So that's where I'm at. Yeah, I, you know, I'll tell you. I don't have a nostalgia for it either, but I will recommend it. And I was saying last night, I don't know if it's because, like, for the last week,

I've just been watching, like, a lot of stuff at Sundance. And that's, you know, predominantly very heavy and difficult in one way or another, uh, or what, but it just felt good to laugh last night. And as much as like we've busted his chops on the show over the years, plenty of times, I always kind of find Tom Arnold funny in some way or another. And I do really think he does a good job here. And I think Moranis does a good job. It is a problem that it doesn't know, you know, if it wants to be more like a cable guy-esque black comedy or if it's going to be like a family thing.

And that ultimately does make it a completely unsuccessful movie. But I feel like there's enough in there, man, including that waterfall scene, including the fucking hit in the nuts with the season. saw it. Like, there's things that, like, for 90 minutes, I wasn't pissed off. If this movie was like two hours, big problem. Oh, yeah. Sure. But 90 minutes in and out, you're laughing at dumb shit. I don't know. My brain just kind of needs it every once in a while. So whatever. I don't know what that says about me like in this Tom Arnold vehicle. But there we are, ladies and gentlemen, I'm just as surprised as you are. But that is our conversation on Steve Miner's Big Bowley from

96. If you want more, we hate movies, of course, head on over to our Patreon. That's Patreon.com slash we hate movies. We got another big month of content coming out for you in February, including Steve, what are we doing for the We Love movies selection this month? It's a very special two episodes on the We Love movie feed. Can you believe it? Can you believe it? It's Kill Bill volumes one and two. Both are coming out this month. I am so excited to revisit those. And yes, folks, you're not here and double there. We're doing a full-length episode on each this month on Patreon.

And the cool thing is I'm very excited about this. Once in a Lifetime is coming back, Steve. What are we talking about there? Oh, we are getting stalked by my doctor again. Stucked by Doctor 2. I can't wait. I cannot fucking wait. Folks, if you don't know, we already did an episode on Stucked by My Doctor 1.

It's on the Patreon on that top tier where we have once in a lifetime on the Walsh tier, along with Melro 2 and O. If you like more 90s father, I almost said 90s father, because maybe the content of this film. is directing my mind in that way. Or you were raised by the television in the 1990. Very true, very true. And if you were raised by 902 or Melrose Place, you will greatly enjoy that side show. We run there.

That's right. All that more, of course, available on the Patreon. But on the main feed, which is where you found this fine program, the show rolls on next week, Steve. What classic are we tackling then? I got to bring my wife, Jen, back on next week, because we need to get to the bottom

to get to the truth of the truth of cats and dogs. Oh. Oh, yes. The truth about cats and dogs. Oh, I fucked it up. The truth about cats and dogs. Yes.

This is an Uma Thurman rom-com kind of tying into the killed bill stuff. And right in time for Valentine's Day. Oh, yeah. Co-starring the good Jim Kivisel, Ben Chaplin. The good Jim Cavizel, Ben Chapplin. You know what? Yep.

I'll allow it. That's totally accurate. I never thought about it. I never would have come to that conclusion on my own, but that is absolutely accurate, Chris, good job. Thank you. I've never seen it. Who's seen it a bunch of times. Oh, yeah.

I've seen it a bunch of it. It's a weird movie. It's like the conceit, part of the conceit at the very least is like prime time. It's Uma and Garofalo. Yes, and it's prime time Janine Garofalo is an ugly sea hag. And it's like, all right, folks. Maybe not. Whatever.

I don't think I've seen it, so I'm excited to dig it. Get right for a lengthy phone sex scene. Oh, Eric, you hear that. I know, shit. I'm going to fucking get my special dialing bond after that. Oh, nice. So until next week, when Eric's playing with his dialing wand, I'm Andrew Juffin.

Stephen, say that. Eric Siskin. Chris Gavin. Take it easy. That was a hit-gum part of the head-gum podcast.