We Hate Movies - S12 Ep602: The Last Castle (with Justin J. Case)

Episode Date: March 29, 2022

On the final episode of the 2022 Listener Request Month, the gang welcomes back dear friend and James Gandolfini expert, Justin J. Case to chat about one of the snooziest movies to ever snooze from start to finish, The Last Castle! How does Robert Redford cure that dude's racism in under 24 hours? Why doesn't the script give Gandolfini even a single scene where he's not publicly humiliated? And what the hell happens to Delroy Lindo at the end of this movie? The credits literally start without him! PLUS: Look out folks, this one's a real GEEZER PLEEZER™! The Last Castle stars Robert Redford, James Gandolfini, Mark Ruffalo, Steve Burton, Delroy Lindo, Paul Calderon, Clifton Collins Jr., and yup, a guy named Frank Military; directed by Rod Lurie. Catch this guys this April when they play Boston, D.C., and Philly! Check out the WHM Merch Store -- featuring new Mortal Kombat & Bean Dinner designs! Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the program, this armed services jail movie co-stars a man literally named Frank Military. It's the last castle. I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Sadak. Eric Siska. Chris Cabin. And just in case. And we hate movies. Hello everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in. As always, that's right. You heard him, folks. The return of our beloved friend Justin J.K.S to the program. Welcome back, sir. Hey, how's it going, guys? Better now that you're here, baby. Yeah, man. It's good to see you.

Totally, man. We're looking at you right now. You're looking great. The beautiful city of Chicago. Love that. For listeners at home, he's got a big bushy beard now. He does.

It's fantastic. Looking thick as fuck. Love it. You talk about me, dude, or what? No, no, no. We'll get to your handsomeness. Oh, no, no. I'm getting pretty thick these days. I just want to be sure.

Oh, okay. Nice haunches there, Steve. Yeah, yeah. Showing people are aware. For the folks at home, Steve's also getting thick. Steven B. Sadak. So I guess let your mind stupid or?

No, no, no, no. Haunchy. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. There was this one time that I swear to God that, like, there was this, I was reading this art of this fitness article, and it was like, do you want back muscles like, thick pieces of horse meat yeah absolutely

yeah that's what I'd like to look like a horse sure I don't know that's what it said it was like that would you back muscles thick pieces of horse I was at the beach the other day and I saw this hot guy look like he had a bunch of horse meat stapled to his back

it was so hot he was hung like a horse on his back his dick was small as shit but it was nothing to be right home back like a horse crotch like a chipmunk back like a horse black as your soul or something

thank you can't nay you give love a bad man oh there it is we have invited JJ on to finish out the 22 listener request month

with man a real fucking dud this is the last castle from 2001 directed by Rod Lurie. This motherfucker directed the contender. Really good movie. Also directed Straw Dogs. Really bad

misguided remake. Yeah. Yeah. So this fucking gem was requested by Andrew from Vancouver, I believe. Let's listen real quick to see what he had to say. This better be good. Hey, folks. This is Andrew from Vancouver here.

I don't think you guys have been supporting the troops enough recently. So I wonder if you I'd like to have a look at the 2001 film Blast Castle in which Robert Redford fights Gandalfini for control over prison. Now, what better way to support our troops, by which I mean your troops. I mean, I'm Canadian. Anyway, keep up the work. Cheerio. Well, I appreciate the Canadians are saluting our troops still.

Yes, that's right. I also appreciate the Cheerio. But yeah, so this is the last castle. This was a movie. I definitely saw in theaters. Big Gandalfini had. I was out opening weekend. Oh, do you remember us seeing this together?

No, I remember. There's a story I have that's like nothing about, I was putting a trailer for this movie on a film print, and I literally dropped the trailer like on the floor. And the entire thing like rolled out. And it took me like hours to fix. And I literally should have just thrown it in the garbage but didn't. We saw this together.

And I think you've told the other side. you forgot the movie when you told the story before. Oh, God, okay. So I was coming back from my first semester at college, my first semester of specifically a college film class where you get to learn all the terminology and all the bullshit and all that thing. And I came home thinking I was the hottest piece of shit you ever seen your life. You still do.

Still to this day, but I don't use the terminology so much. but back then so we go to see me I think it's the first time I had seen Andrew since I left for college we go to see this piece of shit movie and like

you were like I met this guy named Justin he's thick as fuck he looks like a horse oh my God he was changing his shirt and I saw his back it's just horse like it's unbelievable so we watch

the movie and we come out and like Andrew's like you know whatever and I was like that was a piece of shit let me explain to you why oh let me count the ways just Gavin drop of the knowledge and then I get into all the horrid shit that you learn the

fucking first semester fucking film class and of course it's all bullshit but like and I this stapled this movie in my head for some reason so when I heard it I was like, fuck, because I remember it's long, it's boring, and it wastes two or three major actors.

Oh, yeah, at the very least. And people who would go on to be really great actors, like Clifton Collins Jr. Yeah, it's wasted in this movie and so on. Ruffalo for sure. Oh, big time. And you're right. It's boring as fuck. I mean, like the intro narration, Robert Redford's like, oh, Castle, sure.

They haven't changed too much. over a thousand years they got castles like this and now modern prison is sort of castle you've you've excited the two 83 year olds in the audience are you going to talk about

the triburesh next that's the thing Chris it's not even when I started to watch it was like oh it's a dad for noon movie no no no this is straight up geyser pleaser it's like it is absolutely

absolutely a geezer pleaser it is For the oldest men to just sit around and jaw about how you really make a good knot or how you fix a castle, how you, how you, how you fix, oh, you'll want to fix that car. Oh, you're going to, you're going to want to get the right parts and measure twice and cut once. Great advice. Oh, they're building, they're building that little stone wall all wrong. A lot of, a lot of masonry, like, reinforcing, like, the ideals of a life of masonry. Oh, no, oh, he's right. Oh, my God.

Yeah, he's absolutely right. You have to have the flat rock in the middle. You can't have to play the rock. Yeah. Jeremiah, would you believe they finally made a movie for us? That's your support rock, son. Oh, me and the boys went to see a movie where an old man teaches a bunch of young men how to do things. It was my favorite.

Pull up your pants and salute correctly. Yeah. It's called Not My Relationship with My Own Grandson. I related to it even more in the film because I too have a daughter who refuses to talk to me I also got dishonorably discharged and court-martialed We're also watching this from a military prison Can you imagine?

I tried to get my grandson to build a castle in the backyard And he gave up after the first pebble He started with sand What a fucking idiot you know what's wild about this movie though it's written by graham yost of all people it sure is who did what he well you know he was a big showrunner on on uh justified but like he wrote speed broken arrow de palma's mission of mars which is not a good movie but it's better than this oh by quite a margin yeah so he's like what if i just took all propulsion out of a screenplay

any kind of yes any kind of uh engine remove it well the whole point i think of this whole point i think of this whole movie is, do you really want to watch James Goundolfini get humiliated? Because that is the major hinge to it is how often do you want to see this uptight prick get his fucking pants pulled down? I don't

even get the adversarial relationship that Robert Redford and him having this. It's like he wasn't nice and like, I just met the guy and I didn't get a good vibe so I'm going to organize a prison uprising. It's because he's a desk man. And he does

doesn't understand. He doesn't know what the real fucking shit is like, even though I'm going to start a fucking war over it. This is like, uh, it's like, it's nothing more than like a slabs versus snobs. Yes. Kind of, yes. But then also casualties and a good amount of them. Yeah, it's like if Caddyshack had a body count. That's what this movie is. Oh, yeah. He got shot in the face with a rubber bullet. Oh, nice body bag. Looks good on you, though. Well, you're totally right, though, because, like, even to the point where Delroy Lindo is, like, in the middle of the movie, or towards the end, he's like, yes, he's like,

you've got one more week to turn this around. If I hear any more news about this chugg-hous-lug house, you know what I mean, or whatever it is. Chugg-what-do-you-call-leg, what do you call prisons? Chugg-chug-a-penitentiary. Yeah, or cell block or whatever. Yeah, it just, it is, you're totally right. It does work with a Slavs versus Snob movie. I was just saying they make all these.

They make all these like, I think it, I mean, it turns out to be kind of funny. But like when like Gandalfini's just like eating a sandwich and like a diet Coke and he's sipping that diet Coke like it's fine wine. Oh, yeah. Like they can't give them. He can't. I mean, he has his little trinkets. But they spend a good amount of time reemphasizing like lifestyle differences. And you're like, yeah, I assume.

I assume they'd be slightly different. He's a baby. Like, they treat it. Like, he has a bologna sandwich and a soda. Yeah. And a potato chips for his lunch. It's a big bologna sandwich. It's a double one, I think.

We juxtapose that with everyone eating gruel downstairs. Here's a question. If we're talking about the food, no, I was going to get here anyway. What drinks are we serving in the mess hall? It is, it looks like it's either iced tea or flat soda or just. I was thinking Welch's grape. juice. It's just juice. It's just juice. And there's white and there's red and then

it's not, it's just not wine. I don't know. Maybe it's like Gatorade like some like C grade Gatorade and they just like they shoved it off on the prison population because it wasn't selling in Bucharest. Powerade Blackberry. What's great about how they

like present Gandalfini's like office though perched above like the rest of the prison. Did you notice they also have him like as he's like looking at all the violence that's happening whatever, they have him listening to like quiet single piano classical music like his fucking Hannibal Lecter. Like it's really weird. We were just coming off the 90s. This was still the trope. Like you still had to have your like I think even Chris Eccleston and gone in 60 seconds has like a classical music record going when you first beat him. Oh really? Like this is just like all of them had this. They all like,

the finer things in life. Right. It also colors him as like an intellectual, which is also a problem. It's very much like this is why Gandalfini did this movie was obviously like 20 Sopranos. It's like season 3-ish of Sopranos. So it's obviously like, I don't want to be this big brooding Italianate my entire

career and like obviously he was very different than that character. So he's trying to throw a different look here. And I think he's good enough in it, but it's just sort of like who cares? I mean, what? And I do think that films let Gandalfini down ultimately. And that's one of the reasons JJ is here because he's a

Gandalfini expert, just an FYM. Yeah, I love him and everything. And I think that he's found, he's found some amazing roles in film. But he's, he's definitely, he's tethered here. I mean, this movie starts, okay, five minutes in this movie, I go, okay, if I get a shirtless Gandafini, it's a win. So yeah, definitely. Absolutely.

Like him just brushing his teeth, to me, that's all I need. Yep. But then also, but also if I get sort of an off, like a. a last nerve Gandafini maybe in his underwear running down the barracks like just shooting people. And I say I mean

that would be a win. But I feel like as soon as it started I was like okay Gandalfini is all chained up here in this role. There's a lot of there's a lot of potential for letting him for like I know this is probably not a great

example but like from when you see Tommy Lee Jones and Natural Born Killers obviously until you see Tommy Jones at the end of natural born killers but just some sort of like he gets strung up in that movie doesn't he? Yep.

Big time. Some sort of like getting this man to his wits end he starts the character in a really great place to watch it deteriorate and the movie just never lets him deteriorate. That's a great point because it's so wrapped up with this Robert Redford fucking Bob

Ross level narration like you here's the thing. Bob Redford like one of the all time greats to ever do it. Don't even worry about it. But like him doing narration is like drinking a gallon of warm milk. You're going right out. You're going right

out with this narration. Well, castles sure haven't changed much in a thousand years. Him reading about castles. Reading a book about castles the whole time really does make it a problem. Leaser pleaser. what we're talking about.

I remember castles. I was born in a casual. I was a feudal serf. But Steve, what's funny about the greaser, geezer pleaser, they actually say that a bunch. Theory. And I totally think you're right. And it's a whole new

we hate movie subgenre we got to explore. But this is sort of like, it's like it's a geyser pleaser with a twist on it though. Because you get like these 80 year old motherfuckers watching this movie. And then at the the end of it where we're in like solid

combat mode. Their heart's palpitating a mile a minute. They might check out watching it. I'll never know how it ends now. Already bought the ticket though, didn't it? Oh my God, what happened to the God Tower? Out!

I don't like this. We're spending far too much time with Mark Ruffles shirt over there. I want to see some, I want to see Redford get in on it. Where's my geyser? Where's my teaser?

Why couldn't they get the shame old nice man With the bird From Shawshank Redemption I didn't finish that film either I remember him being so nice And wonderful Nobody's got a bird

I even I was so sure That this had to have been nominated for one But it actually predates The awards themselves The AARP movies for For Grownups Awards That started the next year

probably because they're like, I show the Oscars. Nobody even liked the last castle. We need to start our own award show. It was a fantastic movie. Don't you understand? Butch Cassidy versus the Sopranos. It was just,

it was a beautiful picture. Redford, though, man, he's looking good. I mean, he's a geezer, but he is a pleaser with his back. he's in his shirt off we get we get shirtless Robert Redford there might be some horse veins in that back he's looking sharp

it's got a lot of time too good never looked that good and he's in his like late 60s it's pretty pretty incredible stuff but I feel like they really only have him take that shirt off so you can see that he's got fucking like

whip scars on his back from being a POW in Vietnam. Electrical scars oh yes electrical burn scars yeah yeah Because he's like a John McCain type Which is also like Yes Yes I would vote for the last castle for president

Yay My president forever No ma'am No castles Oh no cashels ma'am No I don't live in a castle I don't live in a casual anymore ma'am So the movie starts whatever

Grandpa tells you what a castle is And then we find out that Robert Redford's General Irwin is going to this prison run by James Gandelfini and this other guy his number two is a real problem in this movie this like total zero

hunk dude he was in it he was in Guyle was in everything back then he seemed really familiar he was quite popular you want to know the thing about guy this fucking weiner guy that's the number two

uh Chelsea tells me last night we got the movie on she goes oh I know that guy I go, yeah, what did you see him in? She goes, he was on General Hospital. That makes sense. From like the early 90s up until recently where you guessed it, he got fucking fired for refusing to get vaccinated.

Okay. Of course. That's awesome. Oh, yeah. I mean, obviously is a problem as an actor, but the problem of this character, too, it's like have someone be sadistic. Show me a reason for this rebellion,

and besides occasionally someone gets shot in the head with a rubber bullet. Like, yeah, I need more. I need more. Also, why aren't any of the criminals criminals? Yes. Well, because that's the whole thing

with this fucking stupid movie is like, I want to see the good side in these men. And it's like, I don't know, man. Like, they're not all in jail for fucking stealing candy. That's the thing is it's fine. It's fine. Like, if the majority even of them are like good guys at heart, but all of them,

are good guys at heart. It's unbelievable. We only know two criminal records, right? It's Mark Ruffalo was smuggling drugs through Juarez and El Paso or whatever. And then it's Robert Redford. Oh, yeah, but Robert Redford

kills eight of his own men in a botched mission or whatever. Yeah, and Doc had some... I'm pretty hazy about those details. I think the movie is too, actually. Yeah, it doesn't quite know. I think that the Redford character of all people, like that movie has to make it very clear. I mean, did he pull a running man?

That's what I guessed. I was like, I was like, oh, like, because they don't tell you what he did until halfway through the movie. And my brain was like, oh, he's doing it. He did a running man until anybody tells me otherwise. I want to bet on Ben Richards. There are some geezers that get pleased in the running man. Sure.

Oh, they definitely do. But that's the thing, too. I mean, like, and also. It makes so much sense The script The original script Makes much more sense Where in like

The movie starts the way it starts Where it's like a uptight Prison Warden And this really charismatic General that everybody likes And you know They're at odds for various personal reasons But then the movie actually

The script before Redford got signed on They tried to make it a real geezer pleaser They wanted it to It was supposed to be like Redford kind of gets out of control Like you don't know why he's like he's a violent taskmaster general trying to up usurp this prison for like kind of vague reasons right because

and that makes much worse sense because to Chris's point like I need to see like so many more people get murdered I need to see people like get whipped or something to make this uprising makes sense give them any motivation even if it's just Ed Harris from the Rock's motivation like our men my men got killed on that mission not because of me disobeying the president's order and going in anyway it's the other it's the stuffed shirts that did it the problem is that he like and I know this is a thing with fucking Mel Gibson movie he's Jesus he's just Jesus and all these people are his disciples

that's the whole story of the thing and then you have Gandalfini which oh my God I wish this was more like Caddyshack I would give anything for this to be more like Caddyshack but it's not he's just like icy and like it's the most boring thing to play it's the thing that the people who are good at it they have a very Michael Wincott

unbelievable at it but like he's just like he's doing his best but like first you tell him to get the Gabagool out of his mouth so he sounds more buttoned up

and like B you just have him like have no good lines he never gets one over on Redford really every time he gets one over on Redford Reverend's like oh didn't really get one over on me

did you anyway don't you love me it's like it's like Graham Yost like had something against Gandalfini and it was like I'm going to write a movie where this like Gandalfini Colonel character is just going to get fucking cocked left

and right and just embarrassed till the cows come home in every fucking scene it's almost like he was like let's see how many scenes I can make where this Colonel character is humiliated and see how many actually make the movie and what happened was it was literally every scene

I don't think there's a scene that goes by where Gandalfini's character is not totally humiliated one way or another. My sympathy is kind of live with him. Because it doesn't, like, he's introduced to Robert Redford and he's like, oh, I'm a big, you know,

I'm a big fan of yours. I want you to sign my book. And then Robert Redford's instantly like, I hate your fucking guts. Because you have war memorabilia, which is sure, but. It's a great, like, open door farce thing because, like, Gandalfini's a guy is so wonderful

to have you here. and you know you know my that love you to sign my book is like yeah sure fat show and he like he goes out of the room and he's talking to the other guy and he's like it's pretty impressive collection like yeah if you're a big fat loser that you never been on the battlefield and like he's like screaming as gandal feet he's trying to get this other book and he's like oh forget it oh geez oh he puts that right back like he put that book right back and you just get to see his whole like like like You're just like peering behind the curtain of sandness. It is so, yeah. The thing, though, is like, it's because Gandalfini plays it so well. Because, like, again, he was one of the best to ever do it. I miss him every day. But, like, he plays it so well.

And it's fucking hysterical because it's hysterical. What is he saying? Oh, gee, oh, I'm going to put the book back. And he's angry and he's bitter. And all of a sudden, he just hates his guts in one second. Yeah. Because, I mean, it's one thing to be like, oh, you know, there's a great military, blah, blah, blah, blah. memorabilia, it's just, yeah, not for me, not something I ever partook in, but it's supposed to, if you're a bald, fat fuck, he's just kind of screaming back at the other room so he knows he could hear it.

It's very devious the way he does it too, right? Because he couches it in. Oh, yeah, memorabilia. Well, you know, my dad used to say any fucking fat pussy, the collected military memorabilia never got his fat pussy ass out on the battlefield. Like, he fucking knows what he's doing, man. speaking like a little bit louder because he knows Gandalfini is just around the crap. That's the bullshit. He's like, oh, what, me? I didn't mean for you to hear that. How could you ever hear that? I was only talking at 12 decibels. And Gandalfini's so pissed. He's

going to take it out on the man. Only one basketball tomorrow. And this leads to a riot, I guess to show, he's doing this to show Robert Redford. Like what the power dynamics are now? I guess.

Yeah. I'm just like, I'm trying to grab onto anything. I think that he was just like, yeah, only you can't get two basketballs. That's just that. The feelings are hurt.

Me. Because that's, I mean, and yeah, and that's like you sort of see the yard here. Mark Ruffalo is kind of a, you know, a rakeish type that takes bets on everything. They even take bets on whether Robert Redford's going to kill himself, which is

great. It's the funniest part of the movie, yeah. It is hysterical. But these characters, like the trope of, like, the guy who's taken bets on everything, one of my absolute, like, most hated character tropes. It's so obnoxious. And it's like, again, just back to my problems

with degenerate gambling in general, I guess. But it's just like that he's always got his little notepad. He's taken numbers. To Steve's point about the geyser-pleaser-angle gambling, that was like a PS4 or five for an old man. That's true. It's just, oh, I'm playing with the numbers. I'm running the ponies.

They do, like, again, to the caddysheck thing, like they, you get in this prison and it looks like it's an activities camp at first. They got like, they got the guys working the rocks, bringing them back and forth. There seems to be a fat Steven Seagal judo lesson going on about half when. There's two fat guys that throw each other. That's cool. I think I miss that part. And then there's a, there's a wrapping class, there's a basketball game. They really make you feel like it's a nice place to be.

Well, that's the weirdest part. I mean, I think prison is hell and no one should go to jail ever. Because it's inhumane to put anyone in prison. Especially not our heroes and veterans. But, which is the point of the film. Anyway, go ahead. But they make this prison look so I want to go to it. It looks very relaxing.

You get a lot of reading done. Like you get your own private cell. there's no threats of sexual violence whatsoever. There seems to be no gangs either. You know what I mean? I feel like just because they didn't show it, Stephen. Like, what did you want for this PG-13 movie? Do you think Redford was like, all right?

I'll do your last castle picture. There's no dick sucking in this. Do you understand me? I will have none of it. But he makes, he makes there's something about, oh, when they're reading the rules later on. And he's like, no one hug and no handing or something. It sets him up for just one of the most awkward, like, public hand job jokes I've ever heard in my life.

Yes, it's a thing where it's, it's when Delroy Lindo comes to visit him in prison. And the guard is like, you know, same visitation rules apply. You know, you got a certain amount of time. And your hands have to be visible at all times. And Robert Redford, in a comment that is indeed uncouth for any Robert Redford character is just like, like, well, I guess that rules out the hand job then doesn't? And I was like, what the fuck did you just say, Robert Redford?

You're going to wash your mouth. That was so... At that part of the film, Gandalfini was asserting that Robert Redford had gone insane and to get him out of the prison or whatever and cover Gandalfini's back because he's been stirring up trouble. And I thought maybe that was part of some scheme. Like, I'm going to pretend like I'm crazy to Delroy Linda, this other general I know.

No, it's just a handjob joke. But I just thought he was going to talk about hand job. as an insanity, please. That would be a good course of action. But honestly, it would make more sense for there to be this hand job joke in the natural than it would here. At this point, it just doesn't make any kind of sex in this movie just doesn't make any sense. Even the joke of it doesn't make sense. And like, you're you're right.

You do need like, get me a Kurtwood, Kurtwood Smith as like the Aryan, the leader of the Aryan Brotherhood in the prison. Like, just you need something. anything to suggest that there are somebody bad in this fucking prison. What this movie would have to acknowledge then if that was the case is that like there's white supremacy in the military

which of course the fucking is but like this movie doesn't want to go there. You know what I mean? It's a military prison. Right? So anything you say about these dudes technically is like in some way or another reflecting back on the military and so I feel like that shit like the closest

you get in this movie is this dude Beau Prey, this fucking crazy racist this Cajun guy who's telling Clifton Collins, Jr., a Latino gentleman, that he can't build the wall, their little activity project of like doing some Mason work on this wall. He's like, oh, that's our wall. That's the White's wall. And that's like it. And then like 20 minutes later, by the way, thanks to the magic of Robert Redford, this

dude is best friends with Clifton Collins Jr. His military stuff, you know, builds men better. Yes. after the basketball incident like there's like you cut to this scene in the laundry and it feels like literally the prison is on the verge of race war

like everybody's like watch your back words dropped at one point like all this shit and then of course who solves it all Robert Redford Jesus is a geese or Jesus Geese Jesus Jesus

Jesus Thank you, Giezes. That's what they would have called Jesus if he didn't die at 33. I'm looking forward to Kanye West's last record, Giesis. Can't wait for your lips to God's ears for a last record from that motherfucker.

I love Gisus. So please, there's definitely like this, okay, let me see if I could express this. This movie at the end of the day feels like a sternly worded letter by a mother to a military.

complex in which is like your son got mixed up in something and she was like I'm writing a letter about how we shouldn't imprison people if you've already been in the military you should get a pass or something like that like it's just so it's just so like they're in prison

but they shouldn't be in yeah and if you look at if you take away like if you take away the prison lens you're just like yeah riot yeah yeah do it I'd be much more it's much more righteous that way but you would never get a movie like this with like no other criminals feeling like criminals you would never have

the key to it is that scene with clifton collins junior where where he's like i just it was five seconds of mistake and that was it was five seconds of bad after a lifetime of good and that was it and that is everybody in this prison that is what robert repert essentially redemption is this thing that's saved only for people that have already given back to their community through military work it's like if the if the message was like hey maybe we shouldn't put people in prison for minor drug charges that's a message but this one's like and maybe we should start with the military and one of those people is my grandson that's what I get from it yeah totally it's like if you're looking for prison reform I have a great inmate for you to start with my grandson David is so weird to have a movie set in a prison and you have a movie set in a prison and you have contempt at the idea of these people even being in prison. So then you just

have heroes and then the guard, I mean the guards need to be shown being worse. I know they're bad because they fire upon them at some point. There's one guy in a guard tower that's built up to be like the worst of the prison guards. It's not enough. That

that one dude that they keep going to is the dude who like is gleefully firing from the guard tower and shit. And like, indeed, that guy has an exquisite death at the end of this movie. But, like, I need that guy to be, like, an entire hit squad. Or, like, I need to see James Gandalfini, like, fucking strangling Clifton Collins, Jr. in his office or something.

Like, like, yes, we are told, because the prisoners at this point, like, kind of rally around Robert Redford, and they're like, hey, general, now that you're in here with us, here's some things about the conditions of this prison. And, like, prison conditions, like, definitely a real problem. This movie's, like, pretending to try to address it. but I love that he is just like oh well that all that all sounds well and good but go fuck all of yourselves I want nothing to do with it like he does not want to help them at all you know what this movie could use this movie could use a half cup of James Cromwell from LA Confidential yeah stir that in and just some of

this like like him being like oh could you put my shirts there on the table and then like you just see him like pick up a letter opener and then they just that character's never heard from again something just a little bit of devious because a little bit of a little bit of devious on on gandafini's part because gandilfini is one thing and obviously he's doing you know doing all he can the number two uh who we've called calling gile i've also on privately have been calling larry salt because it looks so much like berry pepper oh i see that there's that larry's salt And then there's like the guy on the guard tower But like I need like I need like

Because you think about obviously the biggest Influence for this movie would be Shawshank right and like Clancy Brown Is that motherfucker that you don't want to fuck with In the prison and like you need like a Clancy Brown type Like get me Keith David as his number two And it's like holy shit that guy is sinister and look out It really does it does feel like we're because we're all in the military

The guards and the prisoners so good job America we're all okay people yeah they're basically everybody but gandolphini is basically like they can salvage him even like the snitch like mark ruffalo is almost a snitch at the end of this movie and even he at the end of it is a hero and again you were right about the fucking watching gandolphini erupt like that's what we're missing at the end of this movie he doesn't even do that he just shoots him and like it would be one thing if i got to fuck watch james candolfini run up and strangle right Robert Redford with his bare hands. That would be amazing.

Oh, yeah, like slamming him onto that wall. Oh, man. It would be so good. But no, it's a couple shots because he's cold. And that's the only fucking note you can give him. College is dangerous. Yeah. Redford versus Ganyanis,

we would have been a better fight than Bain and Batman. It's just like, he's just this big hulking brute and Redford's doing his best, but it's not helping at all. It was molded by the darkness. yeah I was born in it I'm gonna break I'm gonna break him okay it's gonna break him right open would it be Batman Bain would it be like

like like Wesley and like Princess Bride fight where she's on his back and he's just like trying to like scrape him off that would also work definitely I mean like the biggest example of this where I was kind of sitting there last night being like well fucking do anything

Gandalfini is when they're they're throwing like the rocks through his office window and that's a great moment if he like got out like he leaned out the broken window was like you dumb motherfucker just really went into like a Gandalfini rant

just like fearlessly screaming at these dudes but like they make him a coward they make him totally because like it's the big heroic day new ma and it's like we're defeating this bad general there's bad colonel or whatever but like he doesn't he just like lays down yeah he just

lays down this whole movie. It acts like all military people are like cool and reserved but I think they're the probably the loudest guys in my neighborhood. Oh, yeah. And all of this over the death of Clifton Collins Jr., who most of you were threatening to kill not but five days ago. Due to being white supremacists in this jail. You guys a question. Oh, we all got questions. Okay, you go, Steve.

Was Robin Wright tricked into this movie? I don't know. She seemed to not have been given a script yeah I think that she was like she just they just put her in a chair with Robert Redford and we're like he'll talk and then you nod then you get to say

that you were in a movie with Robert Redford I guess you shared the screen with him she's nowhere in the credits either no did she like did she miss a bus and they're like hey do you want to be in the last castle while you wait I guess so sure they had to have cut out more scenes from her

how do you just leave that his daughter and him are estranged and then he's like oh well I'll write some letters and then you never hear of the character again and I feel like they only left her in because that's the only woman out of everything and she's in there for five seconds

I have a sneaking suspicion the deleted scene is it would have been towards the end and it would have been after this is the only scene up front but then at the end you get her getting the news and she's destroyed yeah she can't she can't this is it turns out she actually loved the piece of shit military you understand he wasn't a piece

of shit the whole time is there any way that we could place that scene at dusk and then have american flag fly in the breeze and slow motion uh oh yeah we can we can get that done yeah we could that would be great give me the full michael bay in 13 hours shot yeah yeah yeah you're totally right though chris because i thought because there was a lot it was only that one of that one time, and maybe a couple times after I watch it, because by the way, I did buy this on DVD. Like a real cool dude.

But I didn't remember shit about it. I haven't seen it in fucking 20 years. But like when there's the scene kind of towards the end where he gets a letter from her. So, because he sort of leaves that conversation as like, can I write to you sometime? And she like doesn't say shit and like leaves.

But she writes him back. So you get that sense of like, oh, okay. she wants to maybe, at least, like, keep them involved in the grandchildren's lives or something like that. And then, yes, it could be a thing where, like, either she sees it on TV or I guess at that point, if you're, like, in a military prison, it's not the same thing as, like, dudes will come to your door to announce that you've died. Like, it's not like you were killed in battle or something. But, like, she gets the news in some way. You're right?

I totally thought that's where it was going to go. Delroy Lindo goes to her house with a flag and is, like, curious eyed. And that's a scene in a movie that I'd almost watch. the the movie you have watched the funeral's on TV and Robin Wright like tearily tells her fucking son

that's your grandfather there yeah your grandfather national hero yeah your grandfather that died making no systematic changes to this whole prison system like he died to get James Gandalfini fired yeah

he's voluntarily there too yes yeah unless we not forget that he could leave it any point. He can leave this prison. So they're like, here's your main character. A man who's trapped in a prison, he could leave it at any time. Yeah, you're right, JJ, because Delroy Lindo is like,

hey man, you shouldn't be in here for this. I can totally get you out of here. And it's just that bullshit like trope you have in these scripts where it's like, no, no, no, he'll be a stronger character if he really wants to stay in jail because he feels really bad about what he did. What you're doing

is you're speaking to your obstinatory. Gieser audience, you know what I mean? Oh, I'm being pleased with this. Someone's like, oh, you know, grandpa, I can set the VCR for you. No, you can't. No, I'm allowed to touch it. And it's like, well, I can make it your life a lot easier if I do. No, you can't.

I know what I'm doing. Nothing says geyser pleaser more, Steve, than the fact that the big inciting incident, I would say, of this whole thing is. that Robert Redford wants to reinstate a signs of respect. So they have to bring saluting back. And what's so funny, this is how they demonstrate James Gandalfini's sadism is like, oh, you like

saluting Clifton Collins, Jr. do you? What if you salute it all night long? And this is a geyser-pleaser thing, but like this is the geyser-pleaser-shallin temple, like you're waiting outside of the rain and you're saluting for so long oh that boy that boy loves America let him in let him in

he's been saluting for three nights now I was just finishing my shoe I wasn't I wasn't actually late I wasn't testing you I just I was so busy with this shoe if you went to like West Point

and you stood outside and you saluted for like a solid month. Would they respect your tenacity, let you in? Come on. Oh, probably not. I don't think so. It is so, again, another

I think similar geyser pleaser moment here, Steve. It's like the precursor to the saluting all night long is like Robert Redford teaching Clifton Collins, Jr., how to salute correctly. What means? Yeah, where it comes from.

You know, saluting dates back to medieval times which the two knights would ride up alongside each other and put their helmets up. The IMD trivia says like, if this character was actually a Marine, they would know how to salute. Oh, thanks a lot.

Intrepid IMDB user. But that's exactly right. It's just like, oh, I'm going to teach you the history of salute. No, no, no, it's not enough for me just to show you how to do it. No, no, no. You need to know the history of the thing. it's not even it's now that I think of it because I keep trying to make these like boomer sort of like like there's a big it's got big boomer energy when like the whole process of thinking like James Gannafini is not a wartime general right yep like he runs a prison but like what about all the blood and shit and guts you probably ran through to get there like you don't just start in the military like you're being a great prison runner you start right away.

there's certainly there's like a level of entitlement there but like you have you have to go this next level of like like like steward was just saying like this next level to get to those geysers to rise up to the geyser level that's a great point about you know gandilvini's character again the redford's character j jay because like we hear about redford in vietnam he was in desert storm carrying out these other operations like during quote unquote peacetime that like he got all these people killed and i guess south america or something thing was it? I think there was Kosovo and all that. And it's like, but yeah so it's like feasibly with Gandalfini's age, he could have definitely been in Desert Storm, could have definitely been involved in the Kosovo situation. If you're, if you weren't Vietnam, fuck you. If you weren't in World War II or Vietnam, fuck you. Well, that's not, they don't like, it's not like

he says the thing about like no man who was really in a battle, whatever fucking have this collection. His reaction is meant to tell you that he didn't. He never has. That's what it's supposed to tell you. Yeah, I guess that's true. Still, even though, I mean, like, Redford does seem to think that you're not a real military man unless the Hague had some interest in you. Like, just a little bit, you know.

Oh, unless you went on trial for war crimes. They said you a summons at least. Some buzz at the Hague. Yeah, yeah, because he doesn't collect all this war military. He collects ears. Yeah, yeah, that's his thing. That's the thing, too, is like, it's, I mean, this movie is obviously waiting on 9-11, essentially, because, like, and a lot of these movies, like, The Rock and stuff like this,

all just, like, tongue with the military and, like, how the military is just sort of, like, listless. Like, that's kind of, that was kind of a theme in, like, late in 90s to early ought to exactly movies released in 2001, uh, about the military. Like, there's just listlessness here and, like, oh, who knows where the army might go. Like, we were just looking. for a new enemy to shoot. Yeah. Desperate. That's kind of interesting because

I'm thinking about that now, dude, and think about like a movie, Chris Cabin, you just mentioned the director of, because isn't Pearl Harbor is like 2001? And that's kind of that same like, well, we got no new wars to make movies about, so let's make a movie

about the thing that brought us into the greatest war. Yeah, that's around this time. I forget the greatest war. 2001, yeah. Oh, really? Oh, God. Jesus Christ. Yeah, just this idea of like everyone in the military's bored unless we're bombing somebody. Yeah, it's

definitely, it's like, it's like, well, while we're here, might as well shone our shoes and stroke each other's egos for a bit. That's what we do here. But like, to that point, it's like, that's Robert Redford's character to a T because he's like, okay, well, I'm done doing war outside. I guess I'm

doing war inside now. Well, that's like his whole thing is like, I got by a war outside badge. jail war. Jail war is the best guy to war. Ooh, jail war in jail. That's the thing, too, and all these guys are doing, like

these guys that he, these troops he rallies and these men that he reinvigorates with the spirit of America, all they're doing is adding decades onto their own sentences. Like that's absolutely. And of course, in total boomer fashion, this fucker dies at the end.

It's like, enjoy life in prison, fucker. Because, I mean, like, that's all, like, this insurrection, like, you know what I mean? Sure, now Gandelfini's going to go to jail for being kind of a pretty crooked warden. Great. Like, but again, like these dudes, like, Ruffalo's going to be a jail. Like, he kills that dude to the helicopter. Right.

He's out, he's out 30, fuckface. Why, why does James Gandalfini get handcuffed at the end? Is it because he shoots Robert Redford or, like, I feel like he's within his rights with every movie. But here's the thing, dude. His whole thing is like, Gandalfini dies due to, like, or he kills Redford rather and gets handcuffed due to

the greatest trolling of all time because he shoots him thinking that Redford is going to put the flag up upside down and say that like the prison has been taken and then Redford's dying and it's like, look up, motherfucker, it's the right way. Oh, it's the American flag.

I knew he wouldn't do it. He's a good boy. He's in the military. Oh, my God. So this is like the most elaborate fucking suicide by cop. Yes. Yes. Absolutely. Christ. And again, and all he does is take like fucking 30 good men, not even good. 30 men down with him that again, all these dudes and like, man, Paul Calderones in this movie and he has like three lines that drives me nuts. Who's that dude? Paul Calderon from. King of New York. King of New York and Pulp Fiction, yes, and other things. What is the character in this movie? He's like the number like three, I guess.

He's like the shaved head, uh, Latino gentlemen. Oh, oh, yes, that guy. Okay, the guy who's like, he's sort of is like Robert Redford's hype man. Like he starts screaming all the military barking to like get them in order and whatnot. That guy, got it got. Oh, yes. Okay, now I'm remembering him in Pulpiction. Yeah.

a scene that totally sucks shit in this movie and it's like you can tell Redford was like well like what's the cool thing that I do right maybe something that sort of looks like a thing my buddy Paul Newman did in a jail movie right

and it's like just moving these fucking rocks and we even make reference it's like uh can the the doctor character doc like goes up to the guys like can he take it off boss like I couldn't fucking believe that it's like the great escape but what if America was also

the Nazis but we respected that as well sure oh I was talking about cool hand Luke oh fair enough yeah I was saying about the queen um I was thinking when he's moving the rocks from one place to the other you know because yeah what happens is basically

uh during the salute punishment um you know what should be called um uh Colvinus Jr who's going to get beat up by these guards and then Redford gets into it with them and then they beat the shit out of him and then essentially

as a punishment he's like all right I'll have you move all these rocks from one end to the yes as a punishment I now need you to sexually arouse this entire prison these men haven't been hard in months get them hard

all right as a as a punishment I'm going to need you to eat all these bananas what did it say you could leave you could leave us guy oh he is until all the men stand in attention energetically that the uh the moving the rock scene is as i wrote my notes the juicy center of this movie like really that scene goes on for a long time and that is just that is just like the robert shirtless for moms oh yeah absolutely and it looks pretty good but this movie doesn't do anything else.

Like, I think we've almost said it all besides the uprising at the end. I guess Robert Redford reinstates ranks and people are saying pal instead of private and they're calling him chief instead of general. Yeah. So that's more like, yes. Yeah, they're doing that weird like instead of saluting, we're doing like the Arthur Fonzarelli like hand through the hair. it's as stupid as it sounds

you cannot suffer it because that's the thing too is like it's a it's a full salute and then at the end you go nah just kidding put your head through here if there's a rule against saluting no you just saluted I'm sorry I know like you're not getting one over on me now I'm going to

it's too slow yeah it's too slow that's literally like it's making fun of fucking Gandalfini being like oh you want a deal fuck you like it's also fuck you to Gandalfini in the sense of like he's got nothing to run that hand through up there well yeah it would be a cue ball

you can hold his hair with two hands I was thinking of that from Sopranos in the pile moving scene there's also Mark Ruffalo's taking bets on the whole situation and I guess he you know Robert Redford wins so he has the cigarettes he wins

dispersed amongst the men I guess buying their loyalty that way and then he has all them knock this wall so that they could rebuild it better. The proper one. We build it together because they let Clifton Collins Jr.

Well, I love the father was the god of masonry. Oh, they're going to do it right this time. They're going to take their time and make a good plan. And Robert Redford's like, well, his father was a mason, so he should be in

charge. Well, my father. Wait a minute. Oh, what's that, though? The Mexicans, their boss now. Uh-oh, Grampi's getting angry. But I don't know the shit about what my, you know, father's day-to-day at his job was.

Why would this kid? Yep, it's a good point. I do feel. He says it twice, too. He was like, he was like, you should ask,

you should ask him. His father's a Mason. I'm like, yeah, well, his father's fucking awesome at Bolka Rathan right now. So I don't really give him shit what his dad did.

Does he know anything about masonry or it's just his dad? Because, you know, it's just symbiosis. His father was a Freemason, and they built all the best buildings. Oh, there you go in Washington. Oh, even better, dude. Yeah, his dad was TV's greatest defense attorney. And yeah, he knew a thing or two about building the walls. Perry Mason.

We need him to do we have to get him to deduce what is up James Gandolphini's ass. That's a great mystery this week. I swear to God. God, Barney, if they start doing proper plumbing in this movie, I'm going to get hard for the first time in 30 years. Oh, I'm so excited for the movie that adds more rules to prison. He's a hero for adding more rules. Look at that. They did the right thing.

They made him work in the laundry room. Maybe now they'll fold their shirts correctly. Oh, I show hope we get to see a train. coming into a station that would be so wonderful to see. Reminds me of the first time I went to the movies with train coming into the station.

I was 35 at the time. I left my castle, took the carriage into town, saw the new Lumier Brothers film. All right. There's a corner of the market we haven't looked at, and that's people that don't die. How are we going to get these Highlanders into the movie theater?

I'm a bit Dracula on my father's son. All right. So no matinees, we've got that. That's not going to happen. All right. It's going to be the last castle, Ron Howard movies. And half of Nancy Myers' catalog. We'll get those elderly vampires back to the theater yet.

Oh, this one looks spicy. It's complicated. Here's a filmmaking technique gripe I have with this movie And it's kind of funny because I'm mentioning like Graham Yost wrote the De Palma Mission to Mars movie De Palma very much known of course for the split diopter shot Sure For folks at home, if you don't know what that is, it's where you're looking at an image on screen And in the foreground there is something that is perfectly in focus

and then everything behind it is also separately in focus and like the middle of the two you kind of have like a little blurry fuzz lines sort of delineating the two it's a thing De Palma uses a lot in movies but like once or twice for effect

okay this movie I lost count at like 12 I was like fuck it he's just gonna keep doing it and it keeps happening into the movie to the point where it's like now it doesn't look like a specialty thing it's not being used to indicate a certain

feeling or mindset of the characters or anything like that. You're just fucking doing it. I guess because you think it looks cool and it is done too death in this. You are absolutely correct but at the same time it is something in a big bowl of nothing. Sure. That is true and I feel

like it was like I imagined Rod Lurie on the set of the contender being like, you know what? I think we could really use a split diopter shot here. Shut up. No, we're not doing that. Just shoot it normal. the shark sandwich scene. One day,

one day I'll get to direct a movie and it's going to be all split diopeter shots. And that's it. And they get, Contender does well. Why does he just direct a play then? Yes, you would think. You're right, Kevin. I think Contender was Oscar

nominated for sure. I think so. You get that. I imagine that's why they fucking threw him this donkey of a script. Like, it doesn't make any sense. Be-Haw! Last Castle. I don't mind the movie But it keeps me up at night

I had to put the script in the garage It scripts up every day at dawn Just braying into the fucking backyard Quite on the set Including the script, please Script which is a donkey, yes Don't worry about it Will someone get that script in Apple

Yeah, the script supervisor it has apples and hay and shit for him. Shit, this script kicked my fucking brother-in-law on the chest he's dead. What was he doing on the set? He was also the scripts

he was a script girl. So the exciting incident, why you know, we're not just upset with Gandalfini, we're actually going to ruin his entire career and add all this. Basically

there's this big scene where everyone takes pride in the wall and Clifton Collins Jr. is like, oh, this is how you do it and like they're doing it the right way and Gayne Alfini's just stewing up in his little turret there and he calls for a bulldozer to destroy the cat, the wall. Which I love

that this prison just has a fucking bulldozer on hand by the way. Oh, sure. Just right in the garage, there's a bulldozer. And Clifton Collins Jr. is standing in front of it. Is he saluting at the same time? I forget. No, he's not. It's like they're going to knock the wall down. and then he, like, starts running across the yard towards it.

And you get Gandalfini up in his perch, like, what is he doing? Yeah, he defies the air horn, which means to lay down on the ground. And he just stands at attention, you know, very, very sharp looking, you know. Very also, like, in vote. Oh, go ahead. Oh, he's just standing tall and proud because he loves America. And there's a great, like, he has a Tiananmen Square sort of, or like, flower child. putting a

Sunflower in a gun gun barrel, yep and then it's just like oh I hate those hippies and then he gets killed immediately they're like I love this serves that hippie right

look what happened that's what it is it's exercising that anti-war movement like if I had it my way right yeah I love that he stood at attention like that but he did have

He disobeyed another rule, so I think it's good. He got shot. Look, he got to do what he wanted to do, build a wall for an older white man, so now he can die. So then we're good. The script even reveals who it's for because they have to, earlier in the movie, let you know that rubber bullets actually are fucking really painful and cause medical problems. Well, no, that's just for the bad hippies. It just puts them on their bombs. No, actually, it's really

fucking bad. Especially when you shot in the fucking head with it. Like this dude from the guard tower, whatever his name is, ran a Zeezy or something. Wouldn't you be cool to know his name and then a little bit of some some sadism in our present? It starts with like a Z. They say it a bunch of times.

I don't remember what it is exactly. But like that dude's like headshoting everybody, including Clifton Collins Jr. Well, no. Gandal Finney calls for the headshot. Redford's in the office. and Gandalfini is like, take him down. And he does this thing where he puts his hand on top of his head.

Like, you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, you know, the right way. Zamero, that's what it is. So close to Zepruder or Zapata. That's all I had my head was those two. This guy, Zamero shot someone in a head. Zepruder shot a film of someone being shot. That's the, got it.

That's the difference. I would have remembered Zepruder. That would have. Oh, sure. there's another thing another we cannot miss another totally thrilling Robert Redford history lesson right as he's like not to backtrack too far but just a quick step back

when he is trying to get them amped up to like rebuild the wall he's like I see here there's a stone that has this man's name on it from this date to this date I would suspect by looking at all that he's trying to accomplish here I would say he was trying to build a castle And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?

We're bringing it back to castles now, buddy. Our country has exploited prison labor for so many years since the very beginning of time, in fact. There's real honor in exploiting that labor. It's true. He talks about castles full on again. And like, this movie's got such like he's or pleaser attitude. It's like, don't you hate when a movie starts with book engine, but then you forget what they are? this movie reminds you that bookends happened

and we'll close at one point as well there's a thing we don't want to lose in the montage of building the wall especially because Steve I know you were furious about it JJ I'm sure got your goat as well cabin you were pissed this fucking Tom Waits cover of get behind the mule

fuck that shit dude get behind the meal boy fucking blues hammer fucking covering Tom weights God damn it I looked it up and it's just the guy

who did the music for the movie like covering it I fucking hate when they do that man And it's like I don't know man Like this movie is The production company is DreamWorks Like they ain't bankrupt License that fucking tune the right way

Sounds better with Tom Wait's version Is gonna be better no matter what It's gonna set the mood properly Yeah but then the geysers would be like What is this is? he sounds too much like me and not who I wish I was. He sounds like me when I cough.

Yeah. I love that after the murder of Clifton Collins Jr., Robert Redford is like, all right, I have to address these dudes. And the way he does it is again, setting up the guy from Pulp Fiction to go like yell to get everybody in order.

It's like, hey, I know someone was just totally assassinated right here. So would you mind? standing up on this pile of rocks and yelling for everybody to get into attention, then I'll talk after I can make sure you also won't be assassinated.

Heard likes and entrance. Oh, somebody just died. How do I make this about me? But this is his whole, this is he uses the death of Clifton Collins Jr. It's like this rallying cry to get all these dudes even more behind him and anti-Gandilfini.

This whole speech about like men are not remembered in marble. you know, he's like, he's got Aguilar is Clifton Collins Jr's name and he's got his dog tags and he like drops the dog tags into the rubble of the wall like, you know, like we're gonna get this fucker

for Aguilar who everybody loved including that weird Cajun racist who just two days ago definitely said a bunch of slurs at this dude but by the time Clifton Collins Jr. was murdered they were definitely best friends. The whole fucking thing, like, he, Redford doesn't believe them at first about the rubber bullets. That's like a whole thing. He's like, yeah, yeah, Gandalfini seems like kind of a pin in the ass, but, you know, I haven't seen anything.

But the thing is, he acts like he does. And then, like, once he does, once he sees it, he's like, oh, yeah, that's what I expected him to do. Yeah. And like, the whole thing is premised on the fact that he doesn't believe it. Well, there's talk about, oh, yeah, of course. Chess, like Robert Redford's playing this chess game. with him. He knows every level of what to do. But also capture the flag. There's all these game references and I'm like,

you're all dying. I'll tell you what, dude. Capture the flag. Capture the flag. Capture the flag way more fun than chess. I like playing chess fine. A good field day, capture the flag game in school, that was always fun as fun. It's a good,

capture the flags. The beauty is in the simplicity. They should definitely The one rule is the name of the game. That's what I like about it. No more rules, please. They definitely should just replace every scene. Like, imagine like Hannibal Lecter and like instead of a chess game with like Will Peterson. It's capture the flag game while they're telling each other's secrets.

I think they should just, you know, chess has been overplayed as that as like the villain versus the guy. It really has. It really has. It's kind of hard to be pithy, Chris, while you're like out of. breath while you're running with a flag. On the future, Charles. Yeah. No, I got your human skin flag. Oh, Will, you want information

about the red dragon. We'll come get my flag! Brian Cox, Hannibal, like, you see. I mean, I want, like, what about the guys in this prison that have like three months left? Like, are they just like, yeah, dude, enjoy your grandpa. I'm not, you don't need

to salute you. I'm literally going home. in three months. I didn't know that guy particularly well. It's kind of fucked up that he got killed, but I'm good. Ruffalo only has three years left. And he's just talking about bumping it down. But I mean, three years, it sounds like a lot, kids. But as we learned recently, it isn't. It's not. God damn it. And again, like, he's going to get decades added onto that sentence at the end of this movie. He's going to wish he died in that fucking helicopter crash. By the way, around here is where Robert Redford calls him a disgrace

to the uniform. Yes, you're a disgrace, Colonel, a disgrace to the uniform. Gandalfi does have a great it, the retort is the most Tony Soprano he gets, in the sense, mainly

scenes where like it's Tony talking to the kids sarcastically. I mean, he gets sarcastic with a lot of the mobsters too, but it like in this moment where he's talking to Redford. It kind of remind me of him, like, talking to AJ or something. He just goes, well, then I better go pack.

He makes me like, well, I better go pack. Oh, you want me to resign? Oh, I better go pack. It's fucking great. God damn, he was amazing. That's his, now I'm coming for you, and you're going to have to resign or else there's going to be big trouble. This is the, this, it's kind of a decent

because Redford also in this movie, and in other, you know, roles, not all the roles he's ever had, but a lot of, like he's playing a stinker. And he's got a little stinker line here too where like Gandalfini's like, what's to stop me from putting you in the hole

for the next six months? And Redford's just like, nothing. If that's the way you want to win. And like in that moment, man, they should have fucking queued journey. Like that is a fucking catty shack ass any way you want it. As someone who stayed at the Hanaway Hotel or whatever,

it's weird to even like are he's trying to say like you're going to you're going to, you're going to use Viet Cong-esque practices on me? Yeah. Or it's just like, that's, that's the easy way out for you, Gandalfi. Yeah, you could totally do it. But like, you know, you get the vibe for me, Gandalfini. I'm about to start like a prison uprising against you.

And what would, what's more fun than war? Yeah. So you could stuff me in a hole, sure. But we could go to war together. Wasn't war fun? Oh, well, you never been. Oh, I forgot. Now, here's something.

I don't want to run this idea into the ground. but think about this. So where else are people, older men, sent mostly against their will, where some of the rights and liberties that they've come to know have been taken away for them. Exactly. It's an old folks home.

It's like this is the senior center. It's just like, oh, you, oh, I can't watch television after four. Well, I guess I'm going to took this flag upside down and tell you how to build. the castle. You know what? Like a like a

one flow of the cuckoo's nest like style like one flow of a like they have to take the ward is infinitely a better film than this. Yeah totally. Like if it's like none of it's really happening and yeah like I imagine like again

it's like it's like they don't let me out past 430. Sincerely you will find enclosed my script for the last castle. They ride over the fact that they keep on getting chipped beef for dinner every night And one night's just too much And they have to get them And one man sat down and picked up a pen

Just got to write I mean it's weird about this script I think Graham Yose shares a screenwriting credit with another guy And I wonder if that dude is a Granby Because Graham Yost like I think he's only now probably in his maybe like 50s kind of around there

like he's not an old guy 59 so okay so he's in his 60s wow no age listed on David Scarpa that means grandpa you're trying to hide it or immortal oh also that yeah

yeah you don't want to put birth date 1685 on there but apparently this fellow wrote the Ridley Scott Joaquin Phoenix Napoleon movie and this upcoming will believe it when we see a Cleopatra movie. Okay. Oh, weird.

Yeah. Okay. Still working. She has enough champagne to fill the knives. I forgot she's playing Cleopatra. Man, get ready to fucking flush that toilet for three hours. Oh, man. No, make it four. Go the full Manco Wicks. Go and do it. Just do the whole thing. Just read the whole shot by shot remake with Galga Don't in the

lead role. Please. Please do it. God damn, she sucks. You know, I saw something, there's a dude the name escapes me, someone may recall, there's a guy who wrote an awesome looking new book about Fury Road and just the whole production history of it. It just came out.

Fuck, I wish I could remember the titles, I could plug it. Blood and Chrome. Yes. Kyle Buchanan, yeah. So he was tweeting some stuff about it, including a thing where it's like, here's a picture of Gal Godot from her audition tape to play Furiosa

and I was like dude if she was in that movie it instantly goes from like my favorite Mad Max movie to like sub beyond thunderdome nonsense. Oh yeah she's so fucking terrible can you imagine like we got Charlize

one of the greatest fucking actors working and we could have had one of the absolute worst working right now. It's a miracle miracle had happened at all. Casting is so Crucial. Holy shit. Do some lines from Mad Max

in your Galgado accent. Oh, I have no. I don't know. Oh, I think. Listen, this movie's already over. Let's look up some memorable quotes. I can't see. I can't do any good furiosal lines.

Damn it. Well, to the IMDB. Okay. Did anybody understand there's a part where so the whole crazy thing while Eric looks up some lines from Matt Max? I'm looking at up. But there's, there's, um, you're never going to get a better chance.

It would. Redemption. Oh, there you go. Redemption. Do we take the Citadel assuming we're still alive by then? The caravan, this isn't a line, but it could have been a line, right? It's like, the caravan is going to cigarette city. It's the bullet farmer.

Wow. He's playing that flaming guitar way too loud. K.L. No. Give me the stone. Give me the stone. Fuck, it sucks. Yeah, that would have been a problem. With enough oil and gasoline to fill the Nile.

Thanks, Steve. Your wish is my command. You've got everything and more. the scene that is one of Gandalfini's greatest humiliations is when Redford tricks him into thinking that he's kidnapping Delroy Lindo and Gandalfini calls like for a crazy like lockdown and like extraction of Del Rai Lindo before even investigating it like for two seconds and Lindo like freaking the fuck out this is one of kind of the funniest parts of the movie. And you get Delroy, he's one of the all-time greats as well. I got a question about this, because I don't really understand what is happening.

Him dressing down Gandalfini, the best part of the movie? Yeah, no, that's great. But when he gets kidnapped, or no, there's the plot to kidnap him? It's a fake plot. It's a shit post. They're just fucking with him again. Yeah, they swat him, actually. That's what it was. Yes, you're right. In prison, swatting. Robert Redford, I guess, writes a letter to the

warden saying that we're going to kidnap General Wheeler at this such and such a time so that he overreacts and sends him why let him break further laws. Yes.

Well, they kill him. Well, that's the thing is you can't allow James like for whether or not he was in combat or not. You can't even allow him to have some intelligence about what you would. Yeah. He can't even do his fucking job right. He can't do it.

He's fucking awful at it. He's fucking awful at He even brings in the death troopers and then they're just like, no. And he's like, what are you going? Shoot the prisoner in the head. And they're like, hmm, no. I'm going to go back upstairs and eat candy.

But, yeah, but and Del Rolindo also, you need to, what do you call it there? You need him to either have a bigger role or make him the number two. Like, because again, like he's so great. Yes. He needs to be in this movie more. It's kind of insane that he's in three scenes, one

of which, like, he's just in a car. And that scene drives me nuts because he's like, yeah, I'm 20 minutes away from the movie. I'm coming to the movie. I'm coming back to the movie. I'll see you in 20 minutes. 20 minutes goes by and credits it. Where the fuck was he?

He's coming with all the reinforcements to what, you know, when James Gandalfini is eventually arrested and all that. But he then never appears on screen again. Nope. It's infuriating. I wonder if. It is peculiar for a character to say, I'll be there. in 20 minutes of the film.

You think once you write the line and then for the film just nothing. Well, it would be fucking great if the credits for this movie are rolling. And then all of a sudden, as the scroll is going, Delroy Lindo just walks out. He's looking at the credits

and he's like, fuck, I said I would be there in 20 minutes. Everybody left without me? Oh, this is bullshit. I miss the movie. You know what I like? I like that him turning into a cartoon. and then pull in a flag and like the flag becomes sort of like

elastic and it brings the whole castle down or you get at the very end Delroy Lindo's like Ferris Bueller the movie's over get out of here he does have a fucking stellar line to Gandalfini though after the like they extract him from this room

and there's all the hollow blue and whatever he goes what the hell kind of grab ass operation are you running grab ass operation I love that right. Grab ass is caddyshack is meatballs. Do you know what I mean? Grab ass is definitely like, all right, you are on thin ice with this army prison. And one more time, if you don't get this suit figured out by the time when the president comes for an inspection, you're going to be in huge trouble. That's a great question. Eric, maybe with the IMDB still open.

What year did Ted Knight die? Because Ted Knight could have been this fucking adult. You just do some shifting here. Delroy becomes, he takes the number two slot from Wiener guy from Gile. Sorry to report that Ted Knight did not live to see 9-11. He died. Too bad. On August 26, 1986, 1986.

And only 62 years old. Oh, Ted Knight died in 1986. Wow. I don't like how you're running this military prison. Well, we're waiting for you to shoot Robert Redford. Do you think he ate shit because they put Jackie Mason and Caddyshack 2 and not him?

That would be a fucking hard attack. That would really hurt. Speaking of those that have passed away, I read that the filming location for this, the old Tennessee state penitentiary got hit by a tornado in 2020. Yeah, the whole thing was decimated. This was also the prison that they used

for the Green Mile apparently. Oh, really? Yeah. I think the Delroy Lindo Gandalfini thing, though, I think that was proven chemistry because you already saw Delroy Lindo yelling at Gandalfini and get Shorty and you already knew

it's money in the bank. You already knew it looks fucking great on screen when Delroy Lindo is yelling at James Gandalfini. You're totally right. Such a better movie. Oh my God. Give me that movie. I'm saying the opposite of no. Am I remembering correctly, by the way,

speaking of like how this terrible film industry fucks over Del Roy Lindo constantly. He was not nominated for Defive Bloods. He was not nominated. God, suck my fucking balls. The Oscars. Unreal. Nominated, you should have won.

They always give you last straws, that academy. They just hand them out. Just fucking here you go. Last straws for everybody. So the last act of the last castle is basically trying, they're preparing. And I agree Roger Ebert said this too. It's like, when they start pulling out all these crazy weapons, And it's like, well, where did this shit come from?

Like, I would have liked some of this like, all right, you go to the shop and get me like, I don't know, a fucking cataple. Yeah, do some MacGyver shit. Exactly. I would argue the, because the point is not to show how good they are. The point is to show how fucking terrible James Gandalfi is. So he was ill prepared for all this shit. Actually, there's like a fucking, what's it called? A catapult.

Yeah. Hidden away in the corner. of the prison. That's outrageous. There's bad at your job and then there's prison warden looking out a giant window not noticing a trebousche

bad at your job. All Robert Redford is doing is highlighting the fact that there should be more security and we should be cracking down on these military prisoners way harder than we do. You know, as I was walking in today

from home, I saw a 30 foot structure over there. that has a small piece of brown top over it. Should I be worried about that? No, it says here, General Irwin preparing the Christmas pageant. That's what that is. This is going to be some Christmas pageant

because that thing is 31 feet tall. That's good. Our Japanese investors will be here. It would be great if they fucking, somehow somebody needs to get sheetcake on their head by the end of this story. Oh, totally. totally

there could have been a sheetcake scene there's a bullshit I can't fucking believe this there's a moment in this movie where to let the guy I mean we're sort of talking about the end planning for the end fight here and there's the moment where Redford is going to tell

all the guys like hey here's my plan and they orchestrate this insane thing where the Cajun racist punches what's that other dude Dick chop what's that guy cut bush yeah you got it Cutbush. You got it.

He's like, all right. I'm going to punch you in the face now. God damn it, Dickchop. What is your major malfunction? Private Dick chop. I'm sorry, sir. Oh, did you hear what happened to private dick shop and boot camp, man? He fucking went crazy and killed his his fucking commanding officer with a shotgun and

and then shot himself with the chin in the bathroom. Pile style. Oh, man. It's too much. Pile style, by the way. That scene, right? So they fake a fight

and all of the like guard soldiers that are in the cafeteria, all of them descend on these two dudes and take them out. And Robert Redford's like, okay, we have limited time. So I'm going to tell you

the plan that I have. And like, he's really taking his sweet time. He's kind of making some jokes. And I was like, one, why would the whole cafeteria security team clear out? Like, how long is this going to take? But somewhere in there, there could have been a distraction. It's like, we'll cover one of the guards in sheetcake.

And when they leave, I'm going to tell you the plan that we're going to take the last castle. There's a small detail from that scene that I like is that. And it actually bothered me and to take me out of this movie. Yeah. was that nobody bothered to tell the people that were playing the cooks, whether they worked for the guard side or for the, or if they worked for the president side. Dude, I had the same thought.

Because those dudes are serving up fucking chow, you know, at the buffet line or whatever in the cafeteria. And they look like, wait, what the fuck are you doing? Wait, what are you guys doing? And I was like, are you like independent contractors working for like some sort of catering company? You know, is it like a Chartwells situation? Or like, are you also? If you're a prisoner, come on over and join the group guys.

It's very weird. I mean, I can only deduce that they were prisoners. Like that was like Redford works in the laundry room. Some of these guys work in the cafeteria. I think that's how it normally goes in prison. It takes this movie like an hour and 41 minutes to realize that Mark Ruffalo is a sexy rising star. And they want to like kind of center the last half hour. of the movie on him kind of thing.

This is like a year before X, X, X, X, X, X, X, Y, like, probably his breakout and, like, he's ready to break out. And it just sort of, like, the last, like, act of this movie is just, like, let's get Mark Ruffalo, a character who's barely been in this movie as, like, this, like, redemptive hero arc kind of something. Yeah, no, I totally, that's a great question, though, was X, X, X, X, X, X, Y his breakout? I'm trying to think, no, I thought it was, you can, you can count on me. It was, it was, you can count on me.

Which is this year or the year before? It must have been the year before. It was 2000. Oh, okay. So that was when we first sort of noticed the Ruffalo, the Rough Man. Yeah. It's weird watching him in this movie. Oh, my God.

He's in the dentist. No to self. We watch the dentist. Oh, really? The What's His Face movie? The Corbyn-Bernson. Yeah. Yeah.

As, uh, yeah, horror movie dentist. Yeah, yeah. Oh, boy. Oh, I like that. Yeah. I like that a lot. he's not very good in this movie. No, he's not. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you.

It's kind of annoying. It's really annoying. And like him being in this heroic moment with the fucking helicopter. Yeah. And like, they he, so he, the spoiler, he gets in the helicopter that is the last thing that they, that they send in. There's a water cannon that they. Well, yeah, we get the whole thing of like, we have to take the tat. We have to, we have to subdue their men. And we do that by locking them into the barracks when they go to. to search it, looking for the fucking flag. And maybe I'm getting ahead of ourselves. You're right where we are.

That's it, man. Yeah, because Yates, you know, Mark Ruffalo steals the flag out of the display case of James Gandalfini so drives him crazy. Do we mention where that flag was from? Was that like a historical thing or no? It's just a fucking flag. It's Jimmy Gando's favorite fucking flag. I don't know why in a military prison he would ever have

taken down. Yeah, true. It's weird. And then, so then Robert Redford's like, we got to take the towers. And then we got to take the helicopter and, the water cannon and the whole thing. The whole thing. And the fucking,

it would, you would want some tension between is Redford going to do it? Is he not? But every time anything new comes up, he's expected it. Because he can outmatch him and he's just wagging his dick in front of Jim. Gandalfini. Chris, that's the whole fucking point. Chris, the character

Robert Redford is playing knows how to play the game of chess. Sure. What more do you need? Of course. You need a few. There it is. To win a chess, you need some little slingshots with Molotov cocktail. That is an exquisite thing, by the way. By movie rules, like if you have anybody over the age of 60

that is reading in their cell instead of working out, they can take a prison. oh that guy's a genius oh yeah yeah yeah it's kind of unfortunate like reading about castles well oh you read about castles right now and he's going to tell us about it in a couple of minutes that makes you like further away from being rehabilitated in the society

yeah just get ready for a lot of moat talk it's just to be nonstop don't you think it's kind of a missed opportunity there because like it's kind of insane that this movie doesn't take some sort of cheap moment to have him reading something like totally obvious like this there's a scene where Ruffalo comes

to Robert Redford's cell and Redford's like reading some book but it's like a hard cover so you can't see what the title is because the dust jacket's not on or whatever like don't you think that would be some dumb place to put like he's reading something about chess or like strategy I honestly think

that it's to this movie's credit that he's not reading the art of war when you watch a movie it's used so often your eyes kind of like you're kind of like art of war reference it's on its way it's definitely on its way and they don't which is good

there was a weird thing you just reminded me of this JJ we were last year we were playing a show in Charlotte North Carolina and we went out to dinner at this restaurant and like the thing for this restaurant was like when the bill came it came inside like a book of

their choosing and we get the bill at this restaurant and it's just the the server comes over and she's like oh here's your bill you know thanks so much and she hands me literally a copy of the art of war weird it's like what the fuck and i opened it up and like the check was inside very odd if that's like your gimmick for your restaurant fine you got to look at what titles you're putting in the fucking receipt bin though look i'm glad to pay the bill but did it have to come in a reproduction which is weird of mine comf. Yeah, I wanted a first edition,

please, maybe signed by the author. Of course. You may want me to pay, but my defense is that I have no money. It's kind of my comf to bear. It's uncomfortable. She comes at you

with a catcher of the right. She's got a gun. I don't know, man. Give me a check in a fucking little Amelia Bedelia book The Art of War in North Carolina Chacha. Why don't you send that back to Robert E. Lee? You're right, Steve. A good fucking

leather booklet will take care of it. Or a fucking, you know, little clipboard always totally fine. Love the clipboard. That way it's not going to go anywhere. This episode's becoming a geeseer pleaser. We're talking about getting checks and receipts and shit. That's true. Now, it's important

you save all the receipts you see because when tax time comes, the rules clearly state you can itemize your expense. 0.15%, which is what they want. Oh, the restaurant was so dang dark. I couldn't read the menu. I'm going to fucking put a catapult through that restaurant. We come so close to having this movie

and the way the last Boy Scout ends with the second, the second most evil character being chopped to death. So Mark Ruffalo, of course, they overcome the water cannon. They overcome all the other fucking problems. Mark Ruffalo gets in the helicopter because they shot a hook on it

to bring it down. Mark Ruffalo gets here. Mark Ruffalo gets in it. He's like about to, he's facing off with the fucking rubber bullet guy who puts in a real bullet versus a helicopter. and then fucking of course Ruffalo just yanks it

and the whole back end of the helicopter goes through the guard tower and the guy to I assume Oh yeah yeah I think so This guy falls This helicopter falls

And it is telling you this motherfucker's dead Yep 100% The fire is bathing him It's fucking death It's just death Let me just let you in on something James Gandalfini It doesn't matter what direction

The Flag is flying when Delroy Lindo shows up if the fucking guard tower has been impaled by its own helicopter You've lost your job The entire building's on fire You are fired already

Like you've just That's when you got fired Everything else is jelly I do like when they just Doroi his display case And then also set it on fire With the use of the giant catapult And again like I mean

I guess he's a bad dude But I don't know man Like he just He liked a little hobby He had a little hobby He's good Hey, hey, when he's up there cleaning his guns, you know what he's not doing? Causing trouble down here in the yard.

You let him out of exactly. It would have been a great sort of turn for the character and it would have been like, I don't know, something if like one of those rocks, like they shoot it, it goes way far back into the office and it like breaks through a wall and like Colonel Guile looking dude is there, Mr. General Hospital, anti-vaxxer. And he's like, he's like, oh, what's behind here, James Gandalfine? and Gandalfinian, he's like, no, look away, look away, look away. And he looks and it's, it's military collectibles from the Confederacy.

Oh, yeah. That would have been a great twist. Sure, yeah. It is the Tennessee state penitentiary in, that's right. It's about heritivity. You don't understand it. It's just about hermitage. We respect a way of life.

That's why I fly the flag. But so like everything goes fucking totally crazy tits up. Finally, James Gunnolfini's recruits come in. they have real bullets and they surround everybody and everyone in the yard is like, you know, at attention and, you know, Gail Lufini's like, everybody needs to lay down.

That's what I'm saying. They won't do it because they only listen to Robert Redford. Robert Rufford's like, all right, everybody lay down and they do. But he grabs the flag like a little stinker and he keeps saying, you know, stop, stop. He does give him many

opportunities to stop with his prank to die in the midst. of a prank. There's all this is. But that's what's insane, right? Is like, there's a chance Gandalfini could have salvaged some semblance of a career here

because, like, Redford is unarmed, you know, just waltz your fucking fat ass over there and take it from him. Why are you shooting him in the back? Four times. 30 years older than you. There is a good, Gandalfini does have what he gets,

he sends this like hit squad out to like cover the perimeter on top of the yard or whatever. he does have another line that is it's so great it's greatly delivered anyway because it's Gandafini but it also definitely reminded me

a little bit of Tony Soprano where he goes out of hell with this rubber bullet shit just ending a sentence on shit is a great Tony Soprano move and he oh man it just miss him every day I know I keep saying it When you get to let him be angry because that was what he was great

one of the great things he was that was expressing anger and a lot of different like funny and also imposing ways and like in this movie he's just such a wet noodle and you're just watching this the whole time and like yeah you're right i mean like literally you got like Robert Redford is is fucking taunting you to kill him and you did it like that's the that's the whole thing he was like nobody is surprised even watching that movie i'd say within without even without exaggeration maybe 10 minutes and i was like oh man when Galdonfini shoots Redford at the end

I hope he's shirtless because he took that from us because I held out hope for this movie right to the end and I was like well maybe his shirt got blown off. He's going to take my fucking shirt off and shoot this man. I would love that. All right. Oh man, my gun will not fire. I better take my shirt

off to be able to fire my gun here. He's just got a white tank top on. He's wearing that RV hoodie, gray hoodie, which just like killed me. Oh, there is, dude, JJ, that is a moment where we don't see the 15 minutes leading up to that scene in where he's, we're supposed to believe he's been like working out or something like that. Where is his fucking wreck room in this prison? Dude, I want to see all of that. I want to see Gile, Giles, like standing next to him with a water bottle like, yes, sir, hydrate, like feeding him water. Oh, Giles pretending he didn't fart while he was doing grunches, but he totally farted. and that's another thing

fucking Gile I would have liked to see Gile die in the fucking line of dune but of course again the last fucking insult what is James Gondolfini's like arrest him arrest him and fucking Gile pulls a gun on him

and he's like sir you're under arrest now now he's good all of a sudden because we're inspired by the guy that showed up to make more rules everyone because Jesus is here you know you're totally right. Jesus, please. You're totally right, though, because there's definitely a moment

early on where, like, Gandalfini's doing something terrible, and Robert Redford turns to guile and he's like, you're better than this. Yes. And that's all it takes to plant that seed. Yep. But he murders him for no reason, and pretty much the movie is over at that.

Yeah. Like, he just gets murdered and it's just monologue about, you know, the thing about castles is they don't make them like the used to. Getting shot in the back by James Gannis. Well, I think he took a shirt off. He could use that downrightly, no. I took my shirt off.

Caddy Shack vibe of like, Colonel Winter, you're all fired. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, just like, absolutely. What in the hell is going on here? Exactly. I thought it was going to cut, like, pan up to the flag, and it was going to be the flag, and it's going to say, like, winter sucks or something.

A gopher pops out of the ground and starts dancing. Just doing a little dance here. Yeah, yeah. It was. one could you imagine this movie that has one of those

like fucking like endings where they everybody looks at the camera oh dude and then a freeze frame yeah those like freeze frame

endings or or you do a fun I think I've said that about every movie I've ever met on I always imagine that or you know you do that

you do do what do you call it they're an animal house ending but you just you show all the cast members like Got 30 years added on to a sentence

Yeah got 25 years added on Plus 20 plus 50 plus 30 And you get to like that's a fucking Like Every one of them is died in prison Dited in prison This movie doesn't have

Gags but that's an exquisite gag To end this movie out is just like You've seen the dudes And maybe it's even like a chiching sound And it's just like plus 20 Chiching plus 35 At the final one it's Robert Redford They're like

EIP his daughter refused to scatter his ashes. He was unceremoniously flushed down a toilet at a daze in a mile down the road from this fucking jail. I let a homeless person use the room after I was done. James Gendofini got five years, which was pled down for just involuntary manslaughter. Everybody else died in fucking prison.

Great, great crusade grandpa. Yeah. Well, that's, you know, That's what they get from forgetting what real soldiers are. Real soldiers defy the orders of the president. Get back the guy who was covering get behind a mule to do a Kenny Loggins. All right.

I just realized it would have been Clinton, he told the fuck off, right? Oh, that's true. Oh, man, you got to put that sexy ass general in jail. You got to protect Jeff. You understand he's got the information. Oh, that, you know, that's, could you imagine that? You sent the jail because he, because he was flirted with the president's wife. Oh, yes.

You know what I like about that sentence is that it made, it, it, it exists unlike. I'm sorry, I'm still on the fact that I still don't really know what he did. It was, so the best I understand it is he was on some mission in South America or wherever and, like, they were trying to do something and the president himself was like, you better back on. off Bob Redford it ain't gonna work baby and then like Robert Redford's character was like Mr. President with all due respect go fuck yourself I think we can extract this like bad general or whatever right and they went in to do it against the orders of the president and the whole mission went tits up and eight dudes got killed in the process that were under Redford's command Redford made it out alive and it was like not only did you defy the president's orders eight people

got killed due to your defiance. You're definitely going to jail. Yep. The president said, I shouldn't go back to my lie and finish the job. But I thought it was, it was the right thing to do. He's telling me he's going to go there on vacation, but I know what it's all about, baby. Yes. And after that, I decided I wasn't done ruining young men's lives. I am a general vampire. I feed off the life energy of ruining young men's lives and their families, not dementia. Don't forget them. That's the sweet after. Thank you. I haunt this abandoned prison. Yeah, that prison's getting shut down too. Oh, yeah. Yep. Out of business. We got to put these dudes somewhere else. We're not rebuilding this. Or at least like, you got to rebuild that guard tower. You can't have a prison without a guard.

Del Rolendo comes out, he finds me and my cell reading a book, like, dude, I was here the whole time. I did not leave this cell. I don't know what that fucking happy horse shit was and had nothing to do it. I think, dude, everyone's getting an extra 30 years. Oh, yeah. Even the guy in his fucking little

cell reading a cat and mouse by James Patterson, even he is going up the river for a little extra. I actually give that guy 45 years. Of course him. Oh, my God. Do you hear what they gave airport novel? Why do you call him that? Look at his library. my old war buddy airport novel you ever seen so much dean coons do you remember it was tex he was from

texas or whatever that fuck it was there was there was fats minnesota and then there was airport novel died in my arms and it'd be a coffee of sue grafted for murder He's gone to the Hudson News in the sky now. Turned to be on to Carl Hyacin and never looked back. They put one of those neck pillows out of the stabilizing. He's bleeding out my arms with a copy of the Da Vinci code in his hand. I think it would be so funny to put one of those on in a guy in a coffin. You know, he's just got the neck rest pillow.

It's a bumpy ride. You don't know what it's going to be like. Oh, man. You know what, if I, if I wanted to be buried and so I would lay in a coffin, I would want it to be a gag set up like that neck pillow. That's one of the funniest things I've ever heard. Just like being in there and then he's opening him up and he has a neck pillow. But his entire existence, his entire life was summed up in his frequent flyer miles. You put, listen, you put a little like sleeping mask over your face.

It's like when he gets on the plane, he's got to conk out. A little, like, little bottle of vodka there, some fucking bloody merry mix. Oh, yeah. My friend is dead tired. And a people magazine if the book gets too heavy. Of course, yeah, you got to have options. And then the coffin is like raised up on a little bit of a platform and you can see under it. And that's where the baggage goes because you fit it under your seat.

I was belonging. Yes, and a playboy to pay the boatman. oh shit folks that's the end of this boring-ass movie would anybody recommend it Justin J. Case will start with you my friend no not unless I was hard up for some Redford like I just if I was a Redford completionist right I would see that this movie and I feel like the movie does have potential but at the end I definitely it was a slog I definitely don't recommend it yeah Steve Zadak

I, when I rented this movie on DVD, I rented this and Spy Game and I ran those rented DVDs into the ground. And I don't know what was going on in my life at that time. I could tell you sex was nowhere anywhere near the picture. A whole lot of jerking off though. Exactly. You wouldn't download a castle. So I'm glad you did it. Now, that's an interesting thing.

Sorry, no, I just want to say like Spy Game I want to put out there. That was a movie that I remembered being good and I don't know if that's true. Exactly. Now it's all in question because I thought this was good and this was one of the most boring and just wrongheaded movies like they needed to you need to up the sinister factor on Gandalfini and or make it an interesting movie wherein actually a general who wants to go into one last war isn't a good guy. You know what I mean? Like that's kind of the way to end that movie but they don't do that. It's a no for me dog. Eric Ziska. It's a no for me as well. I could see it being like if you've got like the flu or something because it's kind of like a little like an afternoon napper. Because it's not a dad for noon movie.

It's because it's a geyser pleaser, as we said. It's just painfully slow. I just can't. And it doesn't know what it wants to be on any level. So I can't recommend it. Chris Cabin. Yeah, big no. It's very muddled.

Like it just doesn't know. it has half decisions throughout and like a lot of the time is just him either Gandalfini talking absolute nonsense that does not matter or fucking sermonizing from Redford about like the castle and the fucking the military and God knows fucking what else

and like I would have loved to have seen whatever the original idea was before Redford got involved in this guy had to be a hero like that's probably what the Graham Yost version is but you don't see any of that here and it just kind of makes for a really boring like fake rousing type movie that again is just a geezer pleaser

so yeah big no yeah it's a hard no for me and this it's a total about face for me like I went into this being like I just Chris as you pointed out the story you told before like I remembered it being fine I was like yeah it's fine and it's not fine.

The messaging is really all over the place and it doesn't know what it's saying. The fucking split diopter shots, man, I just, I'll never understand that shit. I cannot believe there's like 20 plus instances where we have that effect. Dumb is donkey shit. Yeah, like, JJ, like you were saying,

like if you're Redford completist, like, fine. You got to get that into, or a Gandalfini completeist or a Ruffalo completist. Or Clifton Collins Jr. completis. He turns up in a lot of stuff. You got a lot of watching to do there. This one's on the Lindelphi. list. Yeah, yeah, totally.

Ooh, that's a podcast, dude, Lindo list. Oh, the Lindo list. Fuck, I'm like that. Yeah, I guess if you're a completionist of any of these people, besides Robin Wright, because I mean, fuck it. It's a, it's a sub-cameo. Just for cameos, I guess. Yeah. But I just, I,

you know, there's better prison movies. There's better Robert Redford movies. There's better James Gandalfini movies. Like, see him in enough said with him and Julia Louis Dreyfus. That's a great rules. Killing him soft. Oh, right. Yes.

Amazing. Even his fucking lineless thug cameo in the last Boy Scout, which we were talking about last week. Very nice. Yeah, it's a hard note for me. But that's going to do it, folks. That's going to do it for the 2022 listener request month. I can't even believe it. I'm so glad, JJ, that we got you on to close out this fucking atrocity month with us.

Yeah. Thanks, guys, man. I appreciate you guys are, you got really. operation going here this is pretty nice this feels official we try we're trying we're trying I remember you guys used to record in the back of an old old junkyard

yeah one mic one working mic phone between you is now the smell is the same though that's the funny well it was never the junkyard everybody nobody ever thought this was coming from the junkyard but yeah man we got to get Chicago away or you got to

come here. We miss you, buddy. So it's great fucking getting to hang for a little bit. Please do. So that's going to do it, gang. If you want more We Hate Movies, of course, check out Patreon.com slash we hate movies. A whole lot of shit going up there, including just probably dropping in a few days

our Harry Potterman Terry. We're covering Sorcerer Stone. We get super fucking high talking over that long ass children's movies. So that's going to be a lot of fun. We got a we love movies on the fuck was it? The Warriors. of course. Man, time is

passing all sorts of weird ways. Is it not? Right, where's the movie we do? Time is pissing. It's my new philosophy. It is pissing. That's true. Time. Time. Time time. Time time. Oh, definitely. Another bad Tom Waits cover. Love it. Yeah, so we got an animation of damnation

out of the fucking horrendous double dragon cartoon. That's a shame. A listener requested the Nexus where we're talking. two solid-ass episodes of Star Trek I have to say deep space lines trials and tribulations tribulations excuse me

and then whatever the fuck the TNG was called parallels parallels yeah solid wharf episode got to love that but we're keeping it real on the main feed here folks because of course every Tuesday there's a new episode of we hate movies Steve Sadek what is it that we are talking

post listener request month I'm going to take full responsibility for this one I have been perplexed and puzzled by this movie since it was announced and then there was a trailer and then there was a pandemic and it was delayed 41 times

but next week Morbius is out in theaters and I am making us do an emergency episode on it now here's the thing folks you're like oh you're to see this thing you're prejudging the movie I am not we have we love movies and we hate movies we're all going in

you know open minded and if it's the best movie and has anyone's ever seen you'll hear the theme song in reverse If it is what I think it might be, it'll be the normal theme song for We Hate Movies. You're hanging the flag upside down on this. Oh, shit, definitely, man. So until next week, where you're going to be listening for which theme song hits.

I'm Andrew Juppin. Stephen Say that. Eric Siskin. Chris Cabin. Just in case. Take it easy. You know, I'm going to be able to be. That was a HitGum podcast.