We Hate Movies - S12 Ep606: Event Horizon

Episode Date: April 19, 2022

On this week's episode the gang finds themselves in a bit of a We Like Movies situation as they chat about the outrageously entertaining Paul W.S. Anderson film, Event Horizon! How great is Larry Fishburne in this movie? Should they have just gone all-in and made this another Hellraiser-in-space film? Why can't anyone just say it's Hell they're going inside? And look out, we've got ourselves another Solaris-esque dead wife here! PLUS: How different would this movie have been if Sam Neill's role went to one of its earlier candidates—Arnold!  Event Horizon stars Laurence Fishburne, Sam Neill, Kathleen Quinlan, Joely Richardson, Richard T. Jones, Jack Noseworthy, Sean Pertwee, and Jason Isaacs; directed by Paul W.S. Anderson.  Catch the guys LIVE next week when they play Boston, D.C., and Philly! Check out the WHM Merch Store -- featuring new WHAT IF Donna?, Mortal Kombat & Bean Dinner designs! Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the program, we're all going to hell tonight because we're talking Event Horizon. I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Siddak, X fairness. Eric Siska and Chris Cabin. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone, welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in, as always. Indeed, this is a bit of a we like movies situation.

Absolutely. This is a fun one. Movies were pretty cool. Yeah. It was pretty cool. Imagine a Hellraiser movie with actual actors. This is amazing. It grew literally that, but...

This is Paul W.S. Anderson's Event Horizon from 1997, starring Sam Neal and Larry Fishburn, of course. Joey Richardson. This is a big cast. Kathleen Quinlan. Yep. Jason Isaacs. Jason Isaacs, of course.

A couple other folks, not as big. Oh, a flubber. Flubber came back. A lot of space flutter. Flubber in space. Yes. Wish the flubber played a little more into this movie. It doesn't talk.

That movie ended. They got like, oh, we got to get rid of this flubber. And we throw it into a shoot into space. Yeah. Right. Oh, we've opened a dimension to hell. Oh, whoa. You're going to bounce right in the hell.

Boing. Bois boy. Yeah. I feel like probably at the end of that Robin Williams flubber, it's like, we learn to make friends with the flubber. It's like working for him or something. Yeah, it's not Satan's, you know, messenger or anything like that. I don't know.

I never saw that flubber to be. totally honest with you. Oh, I definitely did. Maybe when I was a disgusting shit boy very young, but I don't really remember. I think I remember, wasn't there like a turbulent scene on the basketball court or something? Oh, I think he's doing a slam dunk. No slam dunks in this movie, though, but I think this might be the closest Paul W.S. Anderson has come to a slam dunk. This is best movie, right? Probably. I mean, Mortal Kombat's kind of up there to as far as Paul W.S. Anderson movie. I think this is my favorite. I really enjoy this. I really enjoy this.

this one because I also like hell. Yeah, yeah, I'm into hell. And I like space. And I like how they just can't just say it's hell. Like they keep on cutting around. We keep we are bending over backwards to be like, we crossed into another dimension that was another

place. Here's the thing. I am a absolute sucker for any time we are totally ripping off the alien movies. Like not ripping off, but like a crew is in hyperspace. They wake up and uh-oh, bad shit starts happening. Working class crews right cigarette smoking

I'm a big fan I love alien I love those alien movies and I'll watch all the ones that are ripping it off if you're into ripping off movies you couldn't ask

for something better than this movie I mean honestly Hellraiser is right there apparently I just read that Clive Barker at least was a consultant on the really is that right I thought they just ripped him off

and he was he was Clive Barker instead of Clive Biter because he could have really gotten a lawsuit if he did not, I guess, work on the film. I guess so because also, and also the original gateway was supposed to be like just smooth.

But then Paul W. Sanderson was like, I kind of wanted to look more like the puzzle box, which it winds up doing. Yeah. You know what I mean? So it's just like, because I guess that's why when she says, or no, when he says I have such wonderful sites to show you or whatever, like literally does it. I guess it's more

that's in a homage as opposed to like, we're lifting it a whole claw. You know what? Scrapped whole spaceship idea. I think we should put this all in a house. Oh, cool. It may be like, focus all the action to the attic. Do we have any Deep Space Nine actors we could have B and Dad by any chance?

Now, what about something, something weird World War II flashbacks? Whatever happened to the guy who played the villain from Dirty Harry? Does anybody know? Didn't that guy wind up on Deep Space 9? Andrew Robinson. You're doing the same thing. Can we have a posh like a posh like sadomasochistic lady?

Yes. Yes. Now we've got it. We're really, we're short on traumatized daughters. But I want to mention this film starts out with you. You get the beautiful Paramount logo. And what's this? We're panning up and there are stars. I just like that the Paramount Mountain

exists in the world of eventor rising. Absolutely. The Paramount Mountain is going to go to hell, you think? Oh, it's there now. It's there right now. It's called Paramount Plus. Oh, there are so many things on this mountain. Oh, wait, nothing's here. Weird. What do you mean? We can't leave the mountain. This is hell. The mountain is just premier jackass forever. All hail the mountain. These guys are messing with their willies next to me

And I'm supposed to be doing Picard Great, and now Dora the Explorer is here Fantastic Oh Kevin Cousner What's that? You're doing cowboy shit again, you say Fabulous A bunch of insurrectionists will love that Yes, and we even get the

The names of the actors and whatnot Being sucked into Space's butthole Oh, yeah. Prodigy and prodigy-esque music is all like this. I love it. I know that's not good to say, but I do. No, no, I loved funky shit. That was the trailer had funky shit also in and that was like, oh, I'm seeing this movie. Funky shit is the song. Yeah. But also like the tune. It's some funky shit. Oh, my God, that's the funky shit. I couldn't tell if you were being like, oh, like they had funky shit in or like funky shit in quotes. This one they say funky shit in the, other song, they say smack my bitch up. Got it. That was the Proji song. There's another one that says fire starter. And breathe, right? With me.

The pressure. Right? Never did the, never did the industrial. Oh, wow. That's not actually industrial. Oh, boy. Oh, here we go. There we go.

There we are. Stop to tweet. Let me just jump into the eventorized and then, Chris. All right. Well, in 2015, we might as well just call it bubble gum. In 2015, we all remember that. sure the moon colonies first fully colonized or whatever I gotta say this movie you know what you see something from like the 70s where it's like you know like fucking silent running where it's like

oh yeah sure it's like 20 21 or something like that 22 whatever but like this movie was 1997 and they're just like all right yeah in like under 20 years we're going to colonize the moon very optimistic I want to raise my hand in the middle of this all the laying out of what happened because it was like excuse me

I don't care nobody cares it doesn't matter it doesn't come up at all in the movie oh yeah well in 2030 we you know

we start mining on the moon of course we sure what does that have to do with the movie 2040 the event or rise then goes the boundaries and sellers

they say that later what does it have to do with the movie? This is about the movie. 2040, the event horizon. That's the name of the film, Chris. Sure. It's also the name of a ship. It is a ship. And it's going to explore the boundaries of the solar system. And in

2047 is now. There's good information. There's the actual information we needed. What time it is now. You honestly don't even need to say. You just be like, hey, future shit. Yeah. So 25 years from now, we are sending the space

ships to the edge of Jupiter space. Whatever, dude. Like it's just Hey man, just, yeah, just go explore the boundaries of space. Whatever you see out there. No, this should be a manned flight. Yeah, that'll drive crazy. Be sure to write it down.

Whatever you see out there, write it down. Well, we got plenty to spend. You can go, just keep on doing it. Money is no object. You know what? If you go out there and it breaks down and whatnots, we'll just build another one and send you back.

Endless money to explore the boundaries of space. Watch a few trillion. That's right. I got a new number going trillion. A lot of money. But I guess the thing, right, is also like we're not really exploring the boundaries of space. This is all the government

cover up. That's right. It was revealed later that what was it? Because it's doing the crazy event horizon. Through the paper thing. Yes. Yeah, yeah. It was two test the hell drive. I mean, the

super gravity drive. Faster than light speed travel. That's what we're trying to do. Yeah. Which like, I don't know why that has to be a government secret at the end of the day. Now, everybody on earth could have been really excited. Here's this new thing we're looking to achieve, so on and so forth. But then you got to get Sam Neal on fucking

live television and being like, okay, here's this centerfold of this woman could have fold in half. This is how the thing that costs like several trillion dollars works. The pencil through the center fold. That's it. It has to be a secret

because you don't want the Chinese or Russians colonizing hell first. We got to get in there. Put our flag in hell. You know, we never did Event Horizon those pizzas. One of these days. Oh, right. We said once on the show we would invent Horizon a whole pie. Yeah, but I feel like there was a

stipulation that we put on it, didn't we? Where it was like if something happened, we would invent Horizon a pizza, and I just don't think we achieved whatever that was. I think something happened. know what it is. Oh, something happened all right. If Coda wins the Academy Award. Oh, no. Well, we must be in hell. The, yeah, so it's, the first is the nightmare sequence with Sam Neal. Yeah, yeah. The great Sam Neal. Oh, yeah. This is like

his, so we're doing the release dates here. So this is the third of like three, like genre films of some kind where Sam Neal goes bat shit crazy. At least three that I can think of because it's possession. Uh, and then the carpenter flick In the mouth of madness And then this one Anything else where he's going crazy?

The others but you know those That's the Holy Trinity right there Oman 3 goes crazy with political power Oh that's right Damien elected to Congress Or whatever happens I've watched it I think in 2020

But I couldn't tell you You know it's funny Because we were mentioning off the air Like a bunch of us just happened to be In different phases of a Seinfeld rewatch And I forget where it falls, but there was one recently where we were watching it. And there's a throwaway line where George tells someone that he got caught stuck up late because he was watching Omen 3 on TV.

It's awesome. You couldn't get to bed because Omen 3 was relatable, dude. A big Sam Neal fan. He probably loves a cry in the dark. He also goes crazy in that one, but it's for a good reason. Dingo ate his baby. Oh, that's right. If he goes crazy in Jurassic Park 3, he returns.

to Jurassic Park. You gotta be crazy to return to Jurassic Park. But you know what? He got duped by William H. Macy in that movie. That dinosaur is talking to him

in that too, right? Like, hey, Alan. And that was a dream. I have such wonderful sights to show you. I totally forgot about that. There's a dream sequence of that movie. Hey, I have such wonderful

sights to show you, Alan. Hey, Dr. Grant, open my prehistoric puzzle box. I don't know, I got to say being in an island full of dinosaurs is fairly close to hell for me. Oh, it's worth.

It's worse than hell. At least hell is relatable. There's sights and sounds you were familiar with. Oh, there's a knife. Oh, there's Hitler. And it's all out in front. It's not hidden. Like the raptors are in the jungle.

Right. Totally. Satan is very straightforward. He's a cut above your regular person. No nonsense fella, as I understand it. Great guy. A friend of the show. Now, please help us.

Honestly, only you can amplify this show. Eric Siska, as can you shall receive. Could you rate, review, retweet the show, please, sir. Oh,

$10 a month sounds a little steep for me. That's a top tier Patreon. You get so much for that. I'll just take

the bonus episode at $5. You can at least go to $8, sir. One star. Have you seen a collection of less masculine

men in your life? Nope. The next is a good show. I would retweet you, but I know this is going to be weird, but I only have 800 followers on Twitter

you would think I have more but my boss Joe Rogan he's kind of beat me to it You think like if Satan had a Twitter handle he would intentionally only follow 666 Oh yeah yeah yeah you know I'm around 600 something I was thinking of bumping my number up to 666 you should do it dude

Maybe that's dude you could achieve Like you could become Satan maybe Oh what that would be Man I'm blushing At an honor But it's a nightmare Yeah, he's having a nightmare of He is floating in a spaceship

And it's basically how Sam Neal looks at the end of the movie But I think hair is still on his head Yes Kind of the only difference here And he wakes up in a cold sweat And we're kind of doing a little bit of Solaris In so much as like It's a weird space movie

Very atmospheric And you guessed it This dude's got a dead wife That's haunting him Dead dead dead wife Dead dead dead wife Yeah Which means she's in hell.

Oh, yeah, that's right. To the film, not in my opinion. This guy's ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, he's got pooh-p-p-po-p-p problems. And then he just starts fucking straight razor-shaven, no thanks. That's insane. Dude, I don't know how you're doing that in space. Well, especially because we find out later,

those wife opened her wrists with straight razors, you know. That's like, I would, I would switch to the electric. Well, maybe he was so cheap. He's like, well, it's still good. I'm just going to clean it oil. Just wash it off. No, I just mean like, you know, the triggering aspect of taking up the implement that killed your ex-wife.

That's what I'm saying, though. Maybe it's not so triggering as it is. He's shaving every day with this straight razor like, come on, turbulence. There's got to be some space turbulence. Yeah, do it. Was it the ex-wife? Are you just saying that because she's dead?

Well, yeah, they're not married anymore. Well, he's like former wife or whatever. Yeah, former is probably a dead person like that. It's not an ex-wife, right? it's like your, is it just your deceased spouse? Yeah, your wife in parentheses deceased. I think you just still say my wife. Right, right, right.

I just think it's funny to say X, Y. Oh, yes, that there. Oh, that's my dead wife. Dude, I'm sorry, but till death do us part. He's part of dude is single right now. That's fair. That's right. And ready to mingle. It is ex-wife. I apologize. But I do think if you're trying to summon the devil,

using the straight razor that your wife used to kill yourself to shave yourself daily is quite the way to do it. You're not, you know, don't use your whole magnetic drive yet, but like that's an early nice. Oh, I'm getting a good sense from this man. That's some twisted stuff he's doing. He's putting up some good

numbers there. Yeah. So his name is we're in this movie. And by the end of it, we come to find he's weird. Add a D to that. Yikes. Yeah. Yikes. Yeah. I'll retweet the show, please. Yeah. And they, you know, he is on the vessel the Lewis and Clark captained by one Larry Fishburn hell yeah love him

love him in this movie even though this is like one of the biggest assholes I think Larry Fishburn's ever played Well that's you know With Sam Neal going crazy In this movie I kind of wanted a little bit more of a King of New York

Lawrence Fishburn Let's see like nuts versus nuts Let's go Let's really see what it's like Yeah and it doesn't really get there Not at all The funny thing is when Sam Neal gets so fucking crazy in this movie

it like makes Larry Fishburn like seem like he's kind of backing off on the asshole temperature. I'm almost rooting for Sam Neal at the end of this because he's putting so much effort into all this plan and Lawrence Fishman's just like, okay, I guess I'll turn off the bombs. I'm doing it guys.

He's a guy. He invented a portal to hell. Sure. It's the best guy. What did you ever do? Yeah, exactly. That's ambition. That's really ambition. All Lawrence Fishburn ever did was leave some guy behind to be licked by flames until he dies. Oh, that is a sad story that he tells in this movie.

But yeah, like, it's just, we meet the intrepid crew, a bunch of people here. You got Smitty, the nervous captain, the pilot who's smoking a bunch of cigarettes. He's British. Sean Purity, pertwee, I think is the name is.

Is that another ship? Yeah, yeah. He's in future episode equilibrium. That's for sure. Which one is that again? That's the emotions are outlawed. And they have Gun-Cata, right? Which is where they- Christian Bail?

Yes. Then you got Catherine, Kathleen Quinlan as the doctor. She's Peters. She's like the bed-the-bedic. Totally. And, you know, she's been in a bunch of shit. Breakdown, Apollo 13, among others. I love breakdown. Jolie Richardson is Stark. You know her from not watching nip-tuck. who's uh breck and meyer's an evil twin that's a that is jack noseworthy oh wow mr justin

mr mr mr that's mr justin i think that's mr justin i kind of feel like that's the thing it's like his real name is it's like justin thompson but then like sometimes at one point like he uh like put a napkin in his lap before lunch and i was like oh mr justin oh man uh And then, yeah, who else rounds out this crew? Richard T. Jones, who's in a bunch of shit, including phone booth. Kind of just a big, big always working character actor. Jason Isaac says DJ. DJ trauma.

DJ trauma. That's how the, like he says, my name is DJ. I'm in trauma. But sometimes just a DJ drama. Yeah. Who I think worked for limp biscuit on $3 billion. Yes. No.

that's DJ lethal, my friend. Oh, of course. Yeah, don't you fucking questions, Steve say that about that. He will correct you on limp biscuit producers. Quickly. But so, like, nobody wants to be there.

They should be on shore leave or something. That's what we're told. They got pulled off a shore leave for this top secret mission and they're all like prepping to go into hyper sleep, basically. Which, like, the hyper sleep here, am I remembering, right?

Because alien starts with everybody just waking up. Yes. This is like, you get a few minutes of them like all getting in the tanks. And then, like, Sam Neal very quickly has another bad dream. And then they wake up and it's been like 52 days later. Yeah, I guess that's to establish the tanks very well because they come in to play at the end. I think it's also to establish that you can make this movie 90 full minutes and not just 80 flat.

Well, yeah. What a great, what a great movie. What a good pacing. We're really, it's got. It moves. Yeah. Steve, you were talking before we went on the air that apparently there was a fabled longer cut, which I would absolutely tune. It's like a 2-10 that's actually just much more violent.

And like, you know, and yes, more violence is always good. But I do like the brisk pacing here, man. It is not too shabby. Like, I was thinking about it this time we just watched it. And I'm like, yeah, there's some stuff here that feels a little bit rushed and doesn't make sense. But overall, like, it holds together at 95 minutes. Would I watch 35 minutes more of this movie? You bet your sweet tits I would.

Yes, I would. No doubt about it. Just from a curiosity. Like, I say release all of the things. all the director's cuts. Give me this one. Give me the cobra one. I love I love cuts. Yeah, give me them. Yeah, give me the air cut. Oh, yeah. Oh, well. I'm kidding. Let me just pull it right out of my asshole. Fate worse than hell. The second Sam Neal nightmare here where he's in the hyper sleep is kind of cool. He's like, he thinks he got out of the hyper sleep chamber and everybody else is still in it. He's walking around the ship. And there's his wife like sitting on the deck of this, uh, Lewis and Clark ship here. And it's, uh-oh, no fucking eyeballs in this lady.

Yeah, it looks like Jared Letto's a weird ear in her eyeballs a little bit. Sorry. We were still Morbius crazy here, folks. That's true. We're big fans of Morbius. But his we're also big fans of, oh, my Lord, Sam Neal's wet, dripping nips. Dude, this guy

was it tip top shape in this. He looks totally. Yeah. Do you think he knows that later on the movie's going to be running around naked it looked like a bloodied stone cold Steve Austin for the end of it. Yeah, he's like, no, you have to show me normal first. But I think also he was probably

a little peeved. He's like, oh, so what's that? Oh, Goldblum gets to open up that shirt in Jurassic Park. Meanwhile, I'm in this fucking Canadian tuxedo the whole movie or whatever he's got going on. No, Lawrence, let me go first. Let me show off what I got first. Did anyone see this in theater? Is that a curiosity?

Oh, yeah. I did as well. Yeah. So what three of us did, I did, yeah, I saw, well, I, I dodged, so I was on vacation with my family, my brother had previously, my older brother had previously seen this movie and told me like, it is the scariest movie I've ever seen. Wow. And then for some, I was on, I was on vacation with my dad, not my mom, because I divorced. And my dad and my older sister, my brother were like, my, because my brother was just talking up this movie. They wanted to see event horizon. And then I was like, I'm a little too scared to see that. Can me and my other sister go see Copeland?

And we did. Basically like it was just some, we were like Virginia or something and like half of us went to Copeland and half us went to evangelizing. Question in the back here. Did you think Copeland was about amusement park for cops at the time? No, I knew it was an adult film. I wasn't like, oh, it's going to be cute, fun stuff.

But I did the very, I do. So you didn't see it. So you didn't see it. No, but then weeks later, a buddy of mine was. Oh, then you had to look like a big man. of the buddy. Exactly, because I was with my friend and I was just like, this is going to be scary. Oh my God. Well, I can't

see Copeland again. What if you want to see Copeland? With the Copeland Copeland An event horizon simultaneous screenings here. How did you navigate the offside of those

runtimes? Because like 95 minutes your event and a half hours? But I think that the good thing was at least the adult, my dad, who is the adult in the scenario, would be able to just be ready, waiting for us when we get out of Copeland. Oh, I see. You know. Yeah. Yeah, he can make some phone calls in the lobby waiting for you to get out. Oh, wow. A huge surge and cowards coming to see our movie Copland. That's pretty exciting. I was, I wound up seeing it in the Bronx and there are numerous points. Like, and it was a raucous crowd. It was a lot of fun. For someone who isn't, hasn't seen a lot of horror movies, I can imagine seeing this and being like, wow, that is, like, this is almost my first horror movie. Like, because not even, I mean, Alien is clearly a much better movie, but like, it doesn't have this kind of gore. This is crazy. But, and also look at this. This is a science fiction, like high concept idea and it's bloody as fuck. I mean, I guess Alien does have blood

too, but you know, you can't even, you can't even make these movies anymore. And I know it lean's horror, but like horror now is most, it's lower budget, lower stakes. They do make these movies, it's just, there's no blood for sure. And all this stuff is about the like creature design, like life, that

Cloverfeard paradox. Are movies like this. They're similar kinds of movies. That underwater movie is similar probably. Yes, that's true. But I don't think that has I saw that. Those are all about effects. Those are all like graphics. I gotta stop smoking up during these

Don't say shit you can't take back Well, here's the thing What's interesting and unique about this movie In the face of a lot of those other ones Actually, because this kind of A movie that comes close to what this is doing It's nowhere near as good It's like a totally fine movie

But Danny Boyle's Sunshine Where like the monster Or what you know, the entity or whatever Is like possessing people There's no like, you know, Zeno Morp or something like that You know, so it, like, that, I think like when you remove the monster like that, and I'm not saying like alien isn't scary, but like when you make the people, the monsters, that's a little more like, oh, we're getting fucking really frightening here. I mean, Sam Neal in this movie, to me, is scarier than the xenomorph in the alien franchise. I mean, this movie you can hear the pitch was like literally a haunted house in space. Yeah. Right. Like you do. The xenomorph is just like a cornered animal. I understand that. Right. This is just, this is a. This is a. maniac man, which is terrifying.

Because like the xenomorph always going to do worst case scenario, he's going to put me in front of a thing, I'm going to have a thing burst out of my chest, and or he's going to rip my head off or whatever. But then Sam Neal wants me to go to hell. And I'm Catholic and that bothers me. You know what I mean? I can't really

figure out, I guess it's got to be nothing but for the collection of souls. Sure. Why does he want to bother bringing like the rest of the crew back through the gateway with him anyway? Because he seems like a particularly a horny demonic spirit. Like he wants to have as many

for his orgy in hell. All the flashbacks we see. Yeah, take me to hell, please. But that's not Samuel from the beginning. Samuel, we are from the jump just wants to go back. He thinks maybe he'll find his wife. Like he's being kind of lured there. He's not evil from the jump.

No. When he gets on the ship, he becomes evil. Yes. And those tend to skew evil. That's true. So they wake up and it's like, well, why are what? It's kind of great. Like wake up like,

I told her. Where are we going? It's been 52 days right in the middle of the space. What's happening? This has to be a like, and I guess it is, they sort of say, like, if I told you before we left, like you wouldn't want to come. Which like, man, I don't want to work for a place like this.

Well, it's top secret. And this is government doings, right? And it's like the eventual horizon was thought to be blown up on the edges of the solar system is an exploratory thing. But no, it went to the gateway to hell. and finally came back. So we got to go check it out. They have just received a, like, a distress signal from what they determined to be the event horizon.

And it's kind of funny, like, it must have been a famed, well, they do say, like, it's in the opening scroll. Like, it was the worst, like, manned spaceflight disaster in our history or whatever. So everyone's clear about it. Because when Sam Neal was, like, it was an emergency signal from a ship. And that ship was, uh, it was the event horizon. And they're all like, fuck you, bullshit. You might as well have said Kaiser Soze. Like, that's the energy you're going with there.

Makes the challenger explosion look like child's play. Oh, man. I do love that, like, oh, we've got a distress signal. And now that we are 50 light years away from anywhere where you would ever want to be, I'll play it for you. Go and help me for the shit. So that's where we're going to go. We're going to go right there.

What's scarier than that is there's some Latin. there, too. That's terrifying. spooky dead. And Catholic shit, dude. She's like fucking priests coming out of hell. Were they transporting alligators and bears and possibly some lions or what's happening? Sort of

a missed opportunity to have a wild bamboo, not bamboo, baboon. Like I'm to add Astra. I love that moment. Yeah, absolutely. But yeah, so Sam Neal is like, I built this ship and so on and so before so you can blame me for everything

that's going to happen but this is fucking hilarious because it is just like very casually like and this was uh well this was the last transmission they said and then yeah it is just screaming for 30 seconds and they're all like oh man now I understand why you might think

that sounds very hell life but I must assure you that is not hell now now it's not hell exactly it's just it's on the out skits of it you don't know where you go It's probably just Mazz. It's not on Hale's private property, all right?

It's just off the property line. Yes, yes, if you're going to get technical about it, it has several layers. Yes, there are several circles, if you will. There are pitchforks adjacent, for sure. You'll find some pitchforks. Yes, of course it's hot. I mean, it's right next to it. Except for the layer that froze over here.

A little class of the hell? A little class of the hell. Further, you go down, and that one froze over. who runs it His name is Bezibub Bezibbub yes I call him every week to check in on I mean not hell

Specifically not hell I'm reading the story here About a guy named Bezibb Everybody goes to Bezibb He's getting a little old though Fifteen years you'll be living it You'll be living on the event horizon Okay I can get he's his buddy

My Mif Sisto So at Bezibubb in this scenario, just to be clear, is an old bonco bruster. It was also the devil. An aging devil that just can't get it up no more. Yep. That's right. He only killed 45 souls last week. Real sad.

15 years you'll be in hell too, little girl. Not even the pills will help old busy bubub. Honestly, very sympathetic character, right? Lucifer. Sure, yeah. You make one mistake. Right. Exactly. You know, we kicked out of your house, man.

Back the wrong horse one time. Yeah, what's what I hear all this shit about forgiveness, huh? Yeah, seriously. Why don't I fucking get it up here? Ah, yes, Catholic double standards. Plenty of those. Maybe hell already ended because then the devil finally like swallowed his pride was like, yeah, I'm sorry about all that.

Come on up here, you. Oh, you old fucking firebrand. Jason Isaacs determines that there is, like we said, some of Latin being screamed in this recording that he roughly translates at the moment to liberate me or save me liberate may save me

the Latin translation this is what we talk about basically we're not we're we're trying to do fast in light shit but that's not actually true it's more like a teleportation thing we're we're just folding space time in half folks yeah not a big deal demonstration is great

although it's funny that they just have like printed out pornography on this ship. Much like the crew of the Nostromo of course. There you go. And he puts the pencil through two ends, bends the paper. This is how the ship works. How do you know how I make love to my center folds?

Oh, those are dickholes? Well, the thing also, the one thing is, and then you just felt it right back. And I'd be like, okay, cool. Great demonstration, doctor. What about the holes on either end? Like, did those ever come back? Oh, those are ruined. Yeah. Oh, that's just a little hole in space

I'll just walk around it. Space can take a couple of little holes. A little pothole. Sure, a little hell seeps out. What do you expect? Do you think that some of those holes, that was we were talking on a nexus a while back? We covered that TNG where Worf hits that pothole in space. You think it was one of those? Oh, fuck the event horizon. They got me again. God damn it,

that fucking weird. Every day I curse this goddamn name weird. God damn Swiss cheese space with that fucker. Couldn't just leave well enough alone and keep on directing movies, had to make a super drive in space. Glad he's in hell. Oh, great. Yep, a couple of demons.

I'll just give him a courtesy wave. Hi, guys. I'm right by. I'm right by. They think I'm one of them because of the fucking ridges. I'm not trying to be pushy on the road here. No, it's a little, just a courtesy tap.

Dat da-da-da-da-da-da-d-da. Yeah, yep. Eternal damn fire forever. Yep. If I see any pure souls or something to be away, guys. fucking damage so you know the whole thing is

we got to board the event horizon and figure out just what is going on on this ship yeah we find it pretty quickly it's on the it's in the atmosphere of Neptune and there's a bad storm I guess is what's going on

yeah it's a rainy day in space sure yeah some atmosphere lightning and whatnot you know pretty cool stuff I like that I love space lightning it's always very atmospheric

yeah here's the thing I actually, the Lewis and Clark is pretty bright and kind of welcoming. Whoever, and I guess it's all weird, it's pretty dark and spooky on that event horizon just from a, from a designed standpoint at all. Well, you see, the time I was designing the event horizon,

I was going through a horrible divorce. He's taking a lot of my anger out on the schematics, you see. Well, I guess his wife committed suicide is in a dark place. Oh, that's right. Yeah. You know, in a place that, you know, often could, have zero gravity. It's great to have

a bunch of metal spikes here and there. Oh, it really ties the room together. You want as many jutting angles out as many as possible. All the jutting, oh, spikes. Yes, that's right. She did commit suicide, but I felt it necessary to also

divorce her. I felt that really needed to be in paper. Then she becomes your ex-wife. That's right. Ex-wife, ex-life. But I mean, honestly, of course, there's a lot darkness here. I mean, demons love to hide in darkness. They get

on this ship and like, we were making jokes about this and I don't, because we were not doing 3D in 1997, but like all of this CGI like junk that's on the event horizon, floating around different cans and wrenches and whatnot

like kind of dumb. And like the CGI who just was not there yet. You got some real fake ass looking things flying at the camera. Oh yeah, a lot of canisters that just look like crap. Yep. Yep. Like straight out of like a like a Nintendo 64 game. A styrofoam cup in the year 2047.

Yep. Still, just hanging out and then arrived. We don't know. Trump's probably going to come back in a few years. Become emperor. Space force will only have styrofoam cups on board. McDonald's. We got to go back to the old containers, folks. We love it. We love it. We love it. Gateways to hell. I've always wanted to open one. I thought my daughter Ivanka had when I was looking for a while.

There is a great Larry Fishburton freak out right here. It's kind of funny like a hand touches his shoulder. It's very Sam Jackson in Jurassic Park and he like thinks someone is grabbing and he's like, oh fuck, oh fuck! Just screaming and it's just a glove.

Floating. And then Kathleen Quinlan finds the bridge and just like, ew, there's a little bit of blood here. It's on like on a surface. And then like the camera pans out and the walls really do look like a Mortal Kombat 3 level. Like you know what I mean? When like yeah, because it's just coden blood, skull and bones and she doesn't see it. No one in the movie properly addresses that gore wall. Well, you know, they probably have like future guns that just explode you. So they're veterans of whatever confluence. But I'd be like, could we clean that up please? You know what I mean?

Just getting a hose really quickly. Was the predator in this ship? Because that seems about right. It's very predator-esque for sure. Just a quick like washdown. You know, you don't have to scrub every nook and cranny. But that's thing, it looks like it's really caked on there. Like if they had soaked this stuff in hot water first, maybe you could just watch it off.

Jolie Richardson's got the fucking hose. We're going to be here all day. Alien versus Predator versus Eventorize. Oh, shit. That's a good one. Yeah. Maybe they all go to hell And then like Predator can rule hell or something

Oh, I bet he'd like that I mean, it's better weather He might actually just fit in He can just walk around down in hell And they wouldn't they wouldn't attack him Because they think he's one of them No, you know, Preder Hey, Predator goes to hell

And all of a sudden he's working an office job Because that guy cannot be contained You know what I mean? Like that's hell for a predator For him he wants to be out in the open Hunting, you know, with his buddies Yeah, like working out in nature man. I just need to be outside. Whatever I do for a living, it's got to be outside.

I can't be an office con. I said, well, I've already been to hell. I should never made my hobby, my job. Predator, these reports are terrible. You're going to be working late tonight, Predators. My boss is a real monster. You just lose your passion for the work after a while. A predator, you're on mute. That's better. fucking zoom man

so this Mr. Justin guy who is like he's got the biggest target on his back this little guy and he's walking around Larry Fishburn makes the bad call of like yeah we're on this ghost ship that was thought lost and may have gone to another dimension let's all split up

so this dude is walking through this he even says he's walking through this hallway it looks like a straight up meat grinder and that's pretty much what we're doing in this movie. But he keeps calling out to Sam. Sam Niel's still on the Lewis and Clark like kind of guiding everyone.

It's supposed to look like that. Don't worry about it. That's a feature. We actually grind up our sausages right there. We want you to vomit. That's the whole point of it rotating like that with the lights is so that you lose all sense of balance. The vomit will add flavor to the sausages.

Space sausage. Oh, that's really gross. And then he finds the gateway thing, which is a big ball that has a bunch of things around it. This is the core room here. I called it the main freak room in my house. Oh, sure, dude. You don't know going there. Boy, sure, this doesn't look evil at all.

It's the core of Sam Neal's gravity drive, which is what powers the thing to open the gateway. Try not to think about it too much, ladies and gentlemen. Now you're going to want to ignore all the pentagrams. Those are just, those are science pentagrams. You wouldn't understand them. They're not the pentagrams year thinking of it. It's the same thing with certain swastikas, you know what I mean? The goat is a pet.

I have it there just for company. A pet and advisor? It is a weird thing because he is, yeah, Sam Neal's like, like, showing them like where they're going on the ship and everything and telling him stuff. And he is getting real excited here because he's just like, oh yeah, it's the call where the gravity drives powered. It's the heart of the shit. Yeah.

And I was like, oh, he's into it. And it's like spinning, spinning, spinning, spinning, it stops. And then a big black hole kind of opens and Justin kind of gets sucked in. And like, I guess, yeah, we're keeping up the mystery. You never see what's on the other side. It's very Stargate this whole thing. Yeah, but I need to see something. I need to see what that guy's seeing.

Yes. Even if it's just like a blackened void and then I don't know. It's like whatever your version of hell is, right? Like you go through it, you're just in like the lobby of a crowded target. Well, we had this original shot of this man with a bunch of pins in his face coming through to welcome Mr. Justin. But Clive Barker said we would be sued. Why would you have Clive Barker like advise on this, but like not credit him in any way? I feel like if the credit is there, you can amp up the barker.

attitude to several degrees. Honestly, why not just make it Hellraiser adjacent? Yes, just in the Hellraiser universe. We just did Hellraiser in space. We're not going to do it again? Literally the year before a Hellraiser Bloodline came out. But I'm sure Clive Barker had not much to do with that.

Probably not. That's like what, the fourth? Yes. That's right. I think Bloodlines is after Hell on Earth, which is the third one. Oh, the third one previous episode. That's right. Yes. So, like, this whole thing happens with Justin getting pulled

into the core which like I guess it's just making the ship mad because like there's a bunch of explosions that go off and like this is the Lewis and Clark is damaged heavily at this point there's a whole breach so like everybody's got to get over to the event horizon because they're losing like the

you know the life support systems and everything and he is running his way out of it. Yes yes yeah they would they reestablish gravity on the event horizon and the corpse this floating body falls and shatters into a bunch of pieces kind of cool that's pretty sweet yeah the corpsicle kind of looks like what sim neal is going to look like at the end of the movie yeah i wonder if

that was supposed to be then like the body of the captain or something possibly yeah but cooper is running after just and he keeps i don't know man sometimes you need to put a stop to a nickname people start calling me baby bear i'm like you know what dude because i think kathleen klin is mama bear correct and i don't know who else is in the bear family gets to to be in the bear family. Rizley, Panda, Red, you know, Lord Bears. I think Lawrence Fishburn shut down

when she called him Brother Bear. I think he was like, you can stop that right now. Yeah. You should be Papa though, right? As the captain.

Jason Isaac has to be creepy bear. Yeah. Oh, creepy. Dr. Bear. Dr. Bear. What was the,

what was the name of the bear that was like the honey crisp mascot? You know, I think I'd be that guy. Oh my God. His name? Yeah. Was he like,

cut to my head. I'm dead. Was he like sugar bear or something? Oh, yeah. He's high all the time. That's the bear I'd be. What was his full name? Oh, I'll find a Catholic name.

Charles Entertainment G. Leonard Bear. Leonard Bearstein. That's the bear. Oh, once you go through the portal, it becomes a baronstein. And they determine, by the way, all of the damage on the ship or whatever, they have to finish it in 20 hours because then that's when like the oxygen is going to be depleted. His name is only

sugar bear. Sugar bear. I'd be sugar bear. Can't get enough of that golden Chris. Yeah, we should definitely name him after my cocaine dealer. Never liked that cereal. Really? The texture was terrible. I love it. Oh, I love a good puffed rice cereal. The taste.

It's the smell as well. I just didn't like it. Oh, that's you in hell, dude. You get to the event horizon. It's just full of fucking golden crisp. I was like, okay, I got out light. That's the move, dude. You gotta start tricking the devil and just be like, you know,

you know what I hate the most of fucking rare steak? It would be absolute hell if I had to eat a rare fucking steak. I just like tell yourself that every day. Could you convince, yeah, you convince yourself to basically become another person

in order for the punishment not to be. So bad. It would be absolute torture if I was home in my bed. Truly torture. on end. So this is where, you know, the ship taking on a life of its own

and whatnot is starting to wake up and get mad that people are here. So it's like, oh, I'm just going to show these people fucked up visions that will hopefully spook them off the ship. I think is all at the end of the day, the ship, regardless of what Sam Neal's trying to do. All this poor ship

is trying to do, like a sentient haunted house, is just spook people into leaving. That's all. It's offering anybody that comes in away into hell. You either say yes or you say no. Or you just go home. You can just go home. Very simple. And Kathleen Quinnian, yeah,

seeing her, are we to believe that the son's not dead but like, because we're seeing this whole movie footage, right? He's in a wheelchair. And she says something to Larry Fisherman at the beginning of the movie about like the ex-husband has him and then she's going to get him next summer or what she gave. She gave up time

to do this kind of thing. She gave up time to this Oh, and then he came along and his legs are now melting and he's running around the ship. He's got like these fucked up lesions all over his legs. Like maggots are eating him and whatnot. You get a, you don't get many like shots of really like, I mean, like you get like really quick ones. Yeah. This is a pretty horrible one. And the only thing I can say about this is that God specifically curse these legs.

He's like, I need to single this kid out. Like really, this is something. She does shit like that. It's pretty bad stuff. He does. You know where you won't see shots like that? The movie Copeland. Tell you what, man.

Robert Patrick ain't got anything like none of it. I got maggots eating my fucking legs. Look at that shit. Look at these lesions. No, yeah. I mean, Ray Leota didn't get out good, but he didn't have that happen to him. Exactumundo, my friend.

So they find some footage from the Event Horizon crew, and it's a lot of them, it's like before the madness. And it's like, we're so excited. to finally activate this gravity drive and see if we can make history. Yeah. Celebrate good times.

And then like right as they're reaching that point in the tape, like Mr. Justin wakes up and he's like, they're coming. And I think it's Kathleen Gwendolyn's like who. And he just goes, the dark. And I was like, well, that's not helpful. The inner dark. Yeah, you can't give me a name.

You got a last name. How about that? I would say Cenobites, But I get so. The venerbites. They come for us. Them and Rinnhead. Rinn head.

Cutterball. Oh, tinhead. Tin head and gutter ball. There we go. I like that. That's beautiful. Around here, Sam Neal is crawling through what can only be described as a Matrix Hallway.

Oh, yeah. Wow. It's Circuit City. There's tons of circuits everywhere. It's all green. It does look like the Matrix Code, kind of. Yeah. He's got to fix something.

Something went wrong. Something, something, you got to replace that microchip dude. I don't know, but he fucking sees his dead wife in here again. Yeah, she has no eyeballs because that's the kind of a thing in hell. Right, his ex-wife. Yeah. And then this. That's a thing in hell. You're right.

You can't, to get to hell, you can't have eyeballs. Because you don't need them when you get there. Apparently, they'll figure it out for you. It's kind of a dark version of where we're going. You don't need roads. It absolutely is because he literally says where we're going, you don't need to see. And I was like, all right. It's an initiation process.

You have to rip your eyeballs at. Marty, we shouldn't have gone 88 miles per hour. We're going to hell. Oh, there go my eyes. You mean to tell me, I'm in hell forced to play an out of tune guitar? Marty, it's your kids. Their legs are rotten. Well, no, I fell in the bathtub and I started drawing the event horizon.

Yeah, I made it all spiky and weird. Whatever, I was going through a tough time. Just sold all my property to Burger King. No, I insisted dim lighting everywhere. Called it the SS Tetanus for a while. Nobody had a sense of humor. When this hits 38 miles per hour, you're going to see some serious shit.

And I mean people being sodomized by devils. Because I go to hell, Marty. Marty, you're going to see Jason Isaac flayed, flayed like a fish, Marty. Oh, man. And people got a lot of weird stuff inside of them, you know? yeah it's all like what yeah organ shit and food digesting and at least i got those two things that's true it's very weird stuff to have inside oh god but it's gross chris i don't like it larry fishburn

doing the classic like uh i'm not believing anything until it happens to me and so he sees this dude who we learned later was like an excruement of his from a previous ship assignment that Larry Fishburn watched Burn up because there was no way to save him or whatever. This dude like rises out of the water on fire and Larry Fishburn's like, huh, all right. I guess there is some fucked up stuff going on here. Well, I've seen many people burn to death. Who are you? Which one are you?

And then so this is Jolie Richardson's like, all right, look, you finally saw some twisted stuff, right? I have a theory that this ship is alive and it brought something back. from this dimension that's reacting to our presence and it doesn't want us hearing. Even then Larry Fishburn's like, seems like a bit of a stretch. We went to a universe where Hellraiser is in the public domain. Every time anything creepy happens, weird is just like, oh yeah, no, it's supposed to be like that. Yep, it's supposed to sound like that. It's supposed to be scary looking like that.

All this is totally above board. Listen, it's a spaceship. All of your nightmares is supposed to come true. It's just, that's what makes it go. Have you ever been in space? It's powered by terror. Look, it's going to activate the nightmare drive, you see. Every astronaut should be able to read and understand Latin.

So there's like some like banging that starts happening. Kathleen Quinlan loses track of the unconscious Mr. Justin. That's just the ship's settling. Totally fine. And it's like, well, we're just everybody. everybody hear that? Does everybody hear that? And it's a it's a really cool moment where like there is something on the other side of this door and they're all

shitting their pants and Sam Neal like sitting in the captain's chair is like now now open the door. Yeah, because he's like goes nuts. Yeah. And I, you know what? I wish I could have seen what was on the other side of that door. It was probably the relic. Oh shit. That was a spooky creature

in that movie too. I think it does the same thing. What do that guy look at the door? Oh, really? Yeah, I think. What do you look like? It's a big beast. Oh, I like that. I like big beasts. And I want to know where to find them. Big wet beast. So this Mr.

Justin dude in, man, this is a real bad freak out. This guy just like casually walks into an airlock without a suit on and like closes the door. I thought I was watching Battlestar Galactic for a second here, Paul. They do that as punishment to people on that show. Yes.

Yeah, that's how they execute people, which is awesome. And we should do that here. Just take people up to orbit and push them out. Remember when they got that. one dude, Eric, who, and it's the best one of the whole, and so he'll go through

air locks at that show. It's one when they're, they tie him up because they're executing him because he collaborate the Sylons on the planet. New Caprica. And he's crying like, please, I'm sorry. And they open it. And on his way out, he hits his head. And it's just

like, ooh, that's so much worse. Oh, that is brutal. Yeah, just like hit your head on the way out. Oh, you'd just be embarrassed, wouldn't you? While you're dying like that. Honestly, it'd probably be better if you could knocked unconscious before your innards are put on the outside. Or like at least you're distracted enough by

the huge head hurt. Like o'o y o'i o'i. Then you pop like a balloon. Yeah, you just you die going I believe that was jammer that got it. Jammer. I didn't remember the call side. Jammer.

Jammer ladies and gentlemen. Just jam. John Jammer. I will say. John Jammer. I can be a John Jammer. Call me Johnny Jam. Then you'll be my John Jammer.

So, yeah, it's like this kid's going to, like, shoot him out of there. Larry Fishburn is, like, helping out with the repairs on the, the Clark. So he's like, he's really trying to space hoof it as fast as possible to save this kid. And he's like, all right, like, it's going to suck. But I need you to do the following. Curl up into a ball and make sure all the air is out of your lungs. close your eyes. And Peters, I cannot stress this enough. Stop calling him baby bear. He's going to die probably. Stop calling him baby bear. The last thing he needs to hear on this mortal

coil, Justin, called him Justin. Did we mention that he said the dark inside me shows me horrible things or whatever? There's dark inside me from the other place. From the other place, yeah. shows me horrid says. Oh, I understand. Wow, sounds creepy. It's like curling up keeps all of your, all of your organs together. Is that the idea? Hey man, got me swinging. This poor little kid starts like floating out into space with no suit on. Because I guess the idea is like if you got gas in your ass, right? Yeah. It just pops out your back. But if you go to a ball and contort your body, like you start farting before the door opens. But if you're farting in zero G's then though, dude with no space suit to. catch it. Are you like tooting your way across the galaxy? I think so. Yeah. Hyper speed. Oh, I think the air, the space air is getting right up inside you with the part. You've opened it up too much. You go inside. There's no air

in space. What are you talking about? Absence of air. It's a vacuum. It's like a giant Dyson. So are you saying if you farted in space without a space suit on like your entire innards would just shoot right out your butt hole? Or you yourself might come out your butthole. Oh, inside out

boy. That's what that. Skeleton comes out. Sunk. Did you know who they offered the role of Captain Miller, Lawrence Fishman? I do not. Arnold Schwarzenegger. Wow. That would be kind of fun. It would, but here's the thing.

It makes it a completely different movie. Oh, yes, absolutely. You can do a horror movie with Arnold. I would like to see them try. All right, now you're going to shit out your skeleton body now. Now if you'll get yourself into the fetal position, it will unlock the mask. that will allow you to survive. He's watching this fucking skeleton

get ripped out this kid's ass and he's just like, wow, that looks like it hits. No bones about it. Yeah, different movie. You're right. Fuck. I mean, I like this movie, but that might be the best movie ever made. I know, Sam Neal

versus Arnold Schwarzenegger. That is pretty fantastic. Yeah. Then you'd finally see what it would look like if Dr. Grant Fiss fought a dinosaur. but he catches this kid and he's the weird part is also oh but the veins in the arms always bothered me

that's a problem that's not in Copeland I'll tell you that much oh that's not in Copeland no that happens whenever you go to New Jersey that's happened that happens with a different atmosphere across the bridge that happens when the cast of Copland does their steroids back at home

but yeah like the the blood oh dude that's bad but he the weird part and I guess I was watch it, you know, just watch it this time. I hadn't watched it like a decade at least. We never actually see Justin die, right? Because he comes back. He's alive. He makes it to the end of the movie. They put him in the stasis. Oh, he goes to the stasis.

He's just in there the entire time for the rest of the movie. And then it's mentioned at the very end that he was, that he's in there. Yeah. I mean, yeah, like your arms and all that stuff. But like, then you get to kind to kind of sleep through the rest of the movie. Everyone else is panicking. You're just in a nice way. Yeah. And you're going to sleep through the rest of your life looking like that. My lord. Yeah. I think it's like Jason Isaac says something

like, oh, we got him stabilized, he's going to make it but he's like really messed up. I guess I missed that he was actually in stasis with everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what we can do for him, though. He looks like the air freshener man from seven. Yeah, because it's that when the

dudes find them at the end, it's Cooper, uh, uh, Stark, Jolie Richardson, uh, and then this, this kid. And they say that he's like, oh, he's sustained a lot of injuries. Guy looks pretty fucked up. Jesus. He's alive. He's alive. And then so, like, Larry Fishburn, like, really interrogating Sam Neal here, like, look, all that just went down, dude, what is going on with your haunted spaceship? What is happening here? And it's Sam Neal just being like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I plead the fifth.

Look, you cannot prove it's hell, can you? You just can't do it? So, we just can't do it. So, why don't we just stop saying it's hell? That's actually true. Like in another dimension, maybe everyone's just, you know, like, and grabbing each other and killing each other. That's fine. It's just hell like, hell adjacent.

Then this is when Lawrence Fishburne explains to Jason Isaac about this guy that he saw in his older days burn up real bad. That was kind of fun. This monologue, I think Arnold would be interesting with, you know. The flames were leaking him. Have you ever seen fire in zero gravity? It is like liquid. It's wave after wave.

I closed the lifeboat hedge and left him behind. I mean, yeah, I think that's why you want Lawrence Fisher. It's a little more grubby toss. He went up like a stogie. Oh, yes. So, yeah, he tells Jason Isaacs all this because after that quick encounter with Sam Neal, I don't know. I don't know. Sam Neal, like, it's a bad edict.

Sam Neal just kind of vanishes from the scene and Larry Fishburton's still there and he hears the dude screaming again like, Captain, you can't leave me, blah, blah, blah. So he tells, yeah, all that to Isaacs or whatever and Isaacs is like, interesting. Because by the way, I realized I was listening back

to that horror tape. I love what he says. He says, I wasn't going to tell you this. Which is kind of a great way to start this. And he's like, that thing about like, you know, save yourself. or save me, it's actually save yourself. But there was another part of it

that I also didn't listen to the first time around. By the way, that translation is save yourself from hell. Yeah. And then they go to check out the captain's log or whatever, the video files and the diary, the real world stuff that they're recording on this ship. And it looks like they're having a great Halloween party. It is the shunting in space.

It is. We're fucking, we're fighting, we're biting. Because it's like a person with like its flesh cut off just fucking pounding into another fleshless person. Yes, that's pretty hot. Wild. Just a face coming out of a butthole.

That's what I was looking for. Apparently that other cut had a lot more of this and there was like just crazy shit. It's described on IMDB. It's a lot. Uh, dog stuff, you think? No, like people rip it off breasts in the cycle. Oh, really?

Like that. Stuff we're doing in hell, dude. Yeah. meanwhile the world's worst patch job a spaceship has ever seen is just being completed back on the Clark you look at this thing it's like it's chewing gum it's a bunch of like sheets of aluminum foil with like cock and chewing gum over it I was just waiting for like Cooper to have one of like a comically big thing of Elmer's glue just like pouring it on listen you tell me that we got to get out of here we have to stay in hell I'm just slapping shit together man yeah I got that's true. Time is of the essence. They only had 20 hours to, you know, shit and get and whatnot. But it is hilarious right here.

After they see that crazy fucking Bacchanol on tape there, Larry Fishburn just is like, fuck this ship. We're nuking it. Everybody get back on board my ship. So it's like... And that is something I'm glad Larry Fisherman was able to deliver, not Arnold.

Yes. Yeah. Wow. Fuck this ship, man. This ship stinks. Fuck this ship. Fuck this ship. Fuck this ship. fuck this ship fuck you fuck this ship and I'm like yeah Lori

yep yep oh yeah so they're like all right we're gonna just get some CO2 scrubbers you know filtration type of things it's very much

the end of alien where it's like all right we know everything's terrible we're about to leave we just need some supplies just a couple of supplies we're gonna get from around the ship

and so Kathleen Quinlan and Smitty is that this other guy's name they're going to picking up all these things right near the freak show room. And Smitty gets out of there because they're really cutting down to the wire. And

she hangs back because she thinks she sees this kid of hers running around. We know we have hellish hallucinations. Just ignore it. Yep. If I was speaking about now, Peters, remember your kid is in Minnesota. We are on Neptune, practically.

I know you've been seeing a lot of him around here. But he's in Minnesota. Does he, all right, no, no, Peter, just, just take a second. Does he have access to a spaceship? Does he? No, okay. Does he have access to walking? No.

Would he survive takeoff? Let's maybe think about that. Does he have a couple of extra billion dollars lying around that house of Minnesota? The rationale, I'm just like, I'm going to grab my beautiful baby boy up on this ship and we're going to go back to Earth together. Like, what, where? Where's your head at? space madness has kicked in. So she starts chasing this ghost up a ladder and shit

and then like gets to the top of this platform and it's like just kidding, this isn't your kid and she gets knocked off this thing. And boy, oh boy, it was kind of funny. I was thinking about this. We rewatch Titanic a couple weeks back and I was just loving looking at my beloved propeller guy and all those fuckers hitting themselves on the way down.

Kathleen Gwendolyn is the propeller guy of this movie. she hits all sorts of things on the way to the ground. Lans right on this catwalk grading on her back. Oh my God. It is one way to go. And that ghost kid just laughs at her.

Yeah. It's pretty fantastic. And meanwhile, what should have been called? Smitty is back on the ship. He's got all the ox. He's like, well,

we're ready to go. And he's like, well, that's weird. I just so weird. And I think he doesn't have eyes anymore. And he just left the Lewis and Clark. And then,

And what do you call it, Lawrence Fishburn realized what are the bombs are missing? So, yeah, one of these corridor bombs that there's a thing that they set up because, like, this is, of course, how the movie will end. Like, Sam Neal's like, all right, along this corridor, there's a bunch of bombs. And if you blow them all up, it's going to separate one part of the ship from the other part of the ship. And you can use that smaller part of the ship as like an escape pod. Got it? Is everyone paying attention to that? Write it down if you need to.

This is very important. But one of the bombs are missing and it looks like weird might have put it on Lewis and Clarks and he's not even to leave and it's like Smitty get off the shit Smitty and he's looking for it and he finds it just a little too.

I mean, yes, this is a great moment. At this point, I would be looking for the bomb to hug and kiss. Until it was time to blow up. There's like five seconds left

and he does like his sort of does like a mother thing in his face and then he just accepts it. And that dude Cooper who's still on the outside of the ship gets just fucking blasted out into space screaming. While this is going on, this is where Sam Neal has the vision where the dead wife

says, I have such wonderful sights to show you where he sees her, like he relives her suicide attempts and whatnot. And then, yeah, this is the last time we see Sam Neal with eyeballs in this movie. Yeah, she takes him away from him. And then he's, yeah,

he's just blowing shit up everywhere. He's blowing shit up. This dude Cooper, like once thought dead but like literally two minutes later is like all right how do I blast back to the ship and figures it out and you said Steve this was a real moment of triumph at the theater it was it was like he's a very every man

kind of character and he's like how do I do this what the fuck what the fuck and he's like I'm coming back motherfuckers and this theater erupted he lets like air out of his tank or whatever to propel himself back towards the ship and when he gets to the ship he gets to the main window and he can't slow down and then Sam Neal sees him out the window and shoots the window

which is pretty crazy too just immediately. Especially like you want to want that window later Sam Sam Neal. This is your beloved ship, right? Yeah, totally. If you're going to take this thing to hell you need it sealed up and stuff. And hell do you think there's is there no vacuum of space? It's just like a nice

temperature. It's just a tropical locale. Yeah, I can see that. Because like 72 and sunny at all times. Hell traditionally folks, kids at homes, you know, kids, sit down. Hell traditionally is like in the core of the earth. For some reason. It's underneath us at all times.

Right. Whenever you're walking, it's underneath you. But then to get to space of hell, you'd have to get to the outside of the planet. That's true. Yeah, actually, it's a great way to get out of hell. I'm going to the moon, motherfucker. Fucking find me.

Well, you have to go past heaven to get to the moon. That's a good point. It's almost if when they wrote that, they didn't know where anything was. But I guess the concept of hell could also exist as a different dimension because perhaps there's portals to hell within the earth

that don't take you to the middle of the earth that takes you to the dimension of hell. Gotcha. Like those sounds of hell in... Oh, that Soviet hole. Yeah, that Soviet hole full of screams. Yeah, that's something. What a weird story that is. I think that's on some old coast-to-coast A.m. episodes or something.

There was a short documentary about it. I watched a couple years ago. It was quite entertaining. I wonder if it's still rocking, dude. Oh, yeah. Or if it was all bullshit. It's probably bullshit. Oh, it's definitely bullshit. Damn.

I thought, I'm going to lead an expedition to hell. Somewhere along the lines here in this movie, Jason Isaacs is cornered by Sam Neal and quite rapidly flayed like it's fucking mid-somar here. He just operates on him and opens him up. And then very Hellraiser-esque hanging him by the back flesh. Yes. I would say this is this is a hellraiser. but it actually isn't.

But this is a great piece of trivia about Jason Isaacs. Ooh. Isn't this how Vincent Donofrio gets off in the cell? Is he gets hung from those feelings? You're right. You're right. Yes, he's got a bunch of like piercings in his back and they connect to chains. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, yeah.

This rules. I saw that movie on a date. Didn't go well. The cell? Yeah, yeah. That's not a tape. I did see it in the theaters. I thought it looked like a hot little picture.

Sure. I understand. J-Lo's in it. I mean, come on. J-Lo and Vince Vaughn is FBI agents. Oh, yeah. Hell yeah. That's a wild movie. It is a wild movie. Not a good movie, but a wild one. It might show up here one day. Directed by what was that dude's name? Tarcum. Yeah. So Isaac's asked if he could take home the dummy in his likeness with a chest sliced open. The special effects department was quite shocked by this request.

So they told them they still needed it even though they didn't. Yeah, man. Oh, no, we need that for other. What the fuck? What are we saying? Look, I'd like to play a prank on my children. Tell that freak, no. I don't like to make something up.

You think he wants to fuck it? He definitely wants to fuck it. We can't let him do it. No, no, we need it for other stuff. Let's go to Planet Hollywood, dude. Sorry. Or do you think Isaac's wanted it like in-house so that no one would be fucking a doll of his. Oh, because

you know right when he left. Now, we're fucking it. He wanted to fuck it. So we're fucking it. And all the special effects people, well, whatever, puppet people are just like, fucking it's. You know, the people that, because it was it's not like a CGI creation. It's like an actual. He wanted that puppet.

He wanted that puppet. They were like, so the puppet makers are just like plowing it after he made it across. I actually I hanged it from my bedroom ceiling for my wife. Every day you wake up. to the visage of yourself being ripped open. Just imagine being the specialized

you don't have a great relationship with Jason Isaacs and you start to talk like, oh, this guy's kind of cool. He's an Armageddon. Yeah, cool. How's it going? Yeah, you know, that cool thing you made? Yeah, it was really fucked up, right?

Can I have it? I got a check. I will give you $10,000 for it. Yeah, let me talk to somebody. I don't morally feel like you should have it. I feel like it's wrong. No, I mean, I appreciate that you kill Heath Ledger in your next movie, but I don't know if that really helps your case here. Oh, I forgot he's the bad guy in the Patriot, right?

There he is. And I had a killer else. Did you have any Vaseline? No, no, you're not getting it. You don't get it. We need it for something else. Is it wet? No, I don't want any more question.

See, that's where you went wrong, Jay Dog. You ask them for Vaseline. You can afford your own gasoline. You gave up the ghost there, buddy. They know what you want to do to your puppet. Fuck my puppet. I don't want to do that. I just want to crawl into the hole.

I kind of want to wear myself as a skin. Is that so wrong? I thought they smelled bad on the outside. So, yeah, Larry Fishburn goes stomping around looking for Sam Neal here. He finds him along with what's her name, Jolie Richards in here. And this is where he says, like, where we're going, we don't need. And, you know, oh, the event her eyes in, I invented her to, you know, help us travel the galaxy. But she did better than that.

She tore a hole in our universe and entered a dimension of chaos and pure evil. And I'm like, just say hell. Just say, it's almost like we, it's almost as if we raised hell. You know what I mean? That would make me a hellraiser, right? Right? Maybe it's not hell. Maybe it's like heck.

It's a hell-like place. Oh, geez, hon. You watching that heckraiser again? Oh, Heckbringer. I love that one. Ketchup's too spicy down in heck. Ooh, my favorite Rowdy, Roddy Piper movie, heck comes to Frog Down.

Oh, Heckbringer 3. Heck in Minnesota. Imagine what an idiot you'd have to be for that to be your favorite. Rowdy, Raddy Piper movie? Yeah, yeah, total moron. It doesn't know that they live exists. Belonging, bonging, heck.

So the ship, we're told, is officially alive. It's alive. This is when, yeah, Cooper comes through the window because Samuel is an idiot. Yep. And, like, you know, everybody's getting sucked out, yada, yada. And specifically, Samuel does get sucked out. Just right out.

He goes right out that window. Adios. him in this jumpsuit he really does kind of look like Joel Hodgson and mystery science like everyone else is like flight suits he's got this like blueish

jumpsuit it's just a mention that they send you cheesy movies I had to instead of using the pads to make my robot friends I actually cut my eye on out I was going to make him out of a gumball machine but Steger broke off part of the glass there cut me cut me eye

balls out. So, we're, this week we have attack of the, oh, what did you do to your eyes, dude? Are you okay? Are you okay in there? They're my friends now. Here's Blinky and Blinky too.

Where we're going, we don't need eyes to watch cheesy movies. What does In Infermish mean? That doesn't look like the satellite of love there. No, Dr. Forrester, it does not. What's that all that blood and skull up in the

corner? there you can watch that probably and I haven't seen TG's Frank oh I've flayed TV's frag he has to take home his puppet so whatever like Cooper's

back alive which it is kind of a cool moment this dude like flies through sort of sort of saving the day yeah kind of heroically here yeah and now what you call it's out so now it's like all right well we're going to this is one of

We're like, are we going to blow up the tube and we're going to escape? But again, you need to go this way and I'm going to go that way while you do X and I'm going to do Y. And of course, not everybody's going to make it. That's right. Larry Fishburn back in the core room here, the real freaky shit room. He sees this dude again. And this is where this dude is talking to him. It's kind of great.

Just this burning hellraiser looking guys just like, you let me burn, man. It was really fucked up. man, it was really fucked up. And then Sam Neal as Anakin Skywalker starts screaming at him in the fire room once again. He's lost the detonator or it's like a little bit away from him. He dropped it or whatever.

This is after this fucking dude who is just Sam Neal disguises this guy like a dragon spits fire at Larry Fishburn. Pretty cool. But I mean, this is when, I mean, like now Sam Neal is bald that he's got cuts all of them. And I'm like, ladies and gentlemen, a movie in the 80s called Hellraiser.

Like, do you think Clive Barker was like, well, shit, when I was telling this stuff to them, I was saying like, when we did Hellraiser, we made it look this way, but you should do why. Yes. They just did the way we made it. Oh, I really should have stayed on that set. The cuts are cool. I mean, the pins on Pinhead, what is that about it? There's like little post-it notes he put on himself to try to remember. I guess maybe part of his like hell torture, right?

Is you're just going to get all these little pins stuck in your face in your head. Sure. Or acupuncture. Maybe it just helps us back. It just feels good. Yeah. Yes, I need all of these in my head to finally walk pain free. I mean, this is probably the second best Hellraiser movie.

Oh, absolutely. The first Hellraiser is good. The first one is there's really good. Yeah. The second one is boring as sin until you get to that wild like final sequence. Yes, when they actually go to hell. And you're like, all right, this is... And it isn't the centabyte factory, which is kind of fun.

They do. But on the shanabyte. All these pins are actually for me to plan out my road trip with my best friends. Me and Butterball will be going on a road trip. Yes, that's right. Because Butterball is coming. We had to rent a van. I wanted to drive around in a cool mini-Coopers.

He made us do all those man versus food things to stop at all these stupid diners and eat their lousy chicken wings. Champion chorizo burrito for breakfast. Just so he could get a photo on the wall. Pathetic. No Chatterner wasn't allowed to come. And we all know that Adam Richmond is one of us now.

Oh, damn, on this road trip, I forgot my CD player, you know, CD guy. He keeps the musical collection. We have nothing to listen to. Oh, mercy, Butterball. That's just three cheeseburgers on top of each other. It's not even a sandwich anymore. You accomplish nothing, you know, by what you've done today.

You know what, Butterball, I have to say. This has been quite frustrating. Being on the road, everywhere we stop, I say, Butterball, now after dinner, you will take a driving shift. And what do you do, Butterball? you get wasted at dinner and I, the leader of the Cenobite, shall not entertain

the notion of drunken driving. No. So I'm stuck behind the wheel this whole trip. Yes, Butterball, this is five banana splits in one banana split. You know, Butterball, this Vegas idiot

restaurant calls it heart attack burger for a reason. It's just not good for you, man. I'm kind of worried about. it's no way to live your afterlife well i know you can't die but it can't be comfortable do you think of butter like if a centabyte drops dead like a like an afterlife centipite they're just a person again oh man that's cool butterball drops dead at heart attack burger in Vegas and then like they're like oh my god butterball died and then it starts like moving around

and whatever then it stands back up and it's just like jimbleuja oh hey what did i miss yeah used to be a centibite Vegas sounds good I could eat Oh shit Oh man Yeah This is the final finale thing

Where yeah Basically Sam Neal and Lawrence Fishburne going To toe to toe Sam Neal shows him What's going to happen in hell And this is when we see the event Horizon crew Getting fucked up a little bit here

Yeah Yeah And this is Were we sort of positing this might be some of the deleted stuff probably too, yeah, more and more dirty shit, like, more bloody stuff. It's like, oh, here's some fake blood, oh, little maggots.

Ooh, what a maggot player. Yeah, which is like, so I guess there's flies in hell, Lord of the Flies. Sure, yeah. But then like, Fishburds like, no, and like kind of he gets hold of the detonator. It's a great, like, Sam Neal

without his eyeballs and shit is yelling at him, like, do you see? Yeah. Do you see? And he goes, yes, I do. Bam, he hits that detonator. Caboom. But so the detonator just separates them. Lawrence Fishburn does indeed go to hell.

Yep. Oh, yeah. That's a bummer. Yeah. It's a bit of a downer ending. The whole ship. Shut up. The whole ship gets sucked down in a hell.

It's great. I will say that's again. That's why you don't have Arnold. I will not be going to hell and the end of the same. But the thing about that sequel, dude, where he's like, hell is about to get a load of me, you know? well that would just be doom at that point fucking Schwarzenegger and Doom

would have been the best movie ever made it would have been terrible but it would have been fun oh yeah fun terrible not just like excruitiatingly boring terrible like the Doom movie turned out to be from 2005 previous episode if it had if that had been his first horror movie instead of end of days

everybody had been much happier yeah and it would have arrived at the right time were they trying to get Arnold for that movie I mean they were trying to get that movie made forever I don't know about him specifically Oh, I see. It's since like that game did well, they're like, we got to do this. Right. So, yeah, the event horizon goes down to hell.

Cabloy. And the, and Cooper and what's her name, Stark? Yes, yeah. Go back into the hypersleep. We get a 72 days later. They sort of like reach back into comfortable space and the little rescue team here comes in. These rescue workers come. come in they have all have dark helmet on and of course jolly richards comes out she's like freaking

out what's happening uh face goes up yeah there he is again sam neil's a total fake out here just i guess like when you're doing this hyper sleep thing in this world like you just have bad dreams it's like if you eat too late and then go to bed right away well yeah or if you literally are a quarter mile from hell you're probably gonna have some nightmares afterwards true that's true yeah So she wakes up. And it's kind of funny, like, every single time you see someone exit one of these hyper sleep chambers in this movie, they just fall out of this thing. Yeah. It's like. And they're like coughing and throwing up. Water. Cryo sleep water. Yeah. You feel like there should be some sort of seatbelt or something. That just like hooks you in. So everyone's not just falling flat on their face when they wake up. You're slamming your knees every time. Yeah. It's not good. It's fucked up. Or just put them down face. down, you know what I mean? You open it up. Maybe that's how you wake up, you know? Otherwise, you'd be like slow and grog. You're like, oh,

this is it really just pushes you right back into reality. You know, like, you're going to get back to work. Yeah, exactly. Come on. The ship's not going to fly itself. It's been doing it for the last 50 days, but you know what I mean. I mean, certainly it can, but not anymore. Get out. Get working.

But yeah, so that it's like, oh, oh, it's all it's just a fake out. Don't worry. She's okay. She's okay. That's it. It's just, it's just. It's just, it's So it's like, we're safe. The end. It's like cue that funky shit. Fucking great, man.

Fucking great. Lean and mean this movie. Absolutely. It is weird. Like it functions totally fine. But this is a movie that I would gladly watch a longer cut. I really would. Yeah.

Oh yeah. Any minute. Give it to me. It's kind of, I mean, I did not look up any numbers here. But it seems like you could have got a good, I'm not saying theme. theatrical franchise here, but this could have been a nice direct to

DV or direct to video, you know, something or other, yeah, Event Horizon 2 back in it. I'm surprised it didn't. Like, if you're going to do Hollow Man 2, why not do this? Yeah, exactly. Christ of God. Yeah, even even one of those like years later nothing sequels, in name

only sequels, kind of weird that it just never... There was on IMDV, and I'm looking up to see if it's even mentioned here. It's not. Oh, well, no, no, there is. There was supposed to be TV series by Adam Wingard. Oh, that'd be cool. It's on, it's on

IMDB, no real dates or anything like that, so who's probably never going to happen, but you know, eventorizon 6, we're going to Valhalla, the Viking dimension. Event Horizon versus Prometheus. The best team up since Godzilla

versus God. Oh, man. You could make one of those big white fellas into a hellraiser type of a guy? That is something. Sure. But that is going to do it for Paul W.S. Anderson's event horizon folks. We'll go around the horn here. Steve Sadek. Recommendations and final thoughts. Yeah, it's super fun. It's a cool, again, like a really nice runtime. It's spooky scary, which I like, you know, I like doing more horror on this show. It's fun. Yeah. And it's it holds up. You know what I mean? Like, it's a great two-hander with Lawrence Fisherman and Samuel. In those scenes, the movie really sings. Yeah. Other times not so much. But I really think that the two of them,

playing off each other is kind of really fun to watch. Chris Cabin. Oh, yeah. I love this movie. I don't think there are many movies that do space for well when it's not involving aliens. Like, it's very rare that you get one that works like this. And I mean, of course, they all end up conjuring Solaris in some way. But hey, I love Solaris, so I don't really care that much. I like this movie.

It's probably my favorite Paul W.S. Anderson movie. There you go, Eric. Yeah, I agree with my esteemed colleagues. I think this is a lot of fun with Sam Neal and Lawrence Fishburn playing off each other. It's great. it's a lot of fun I like the hell stuff yeah no this is a total

recommend for me I rewatched it like sometime kind of in quarantine I think maybe I don't revisit it a lot but now I like this time through I kind of want to I'm like ooh like let's look wait when am I going to go back to hell I don't know but yeah Larry Fishburn and Sam Neil together

that is the highlight of this shit and all the spooky scary gross stuff hey I would have like I said had another 35 minutes of grossness, sure, whatever. But that is going to do it for Paul W.S. Anderson's

Event Horizon, folks, if you want more We Hate Movies, of course, check out Patreon.com slash we hate movies. Got a lot going on there. As always, this month we have a

We Love Movies episode all about Last Action Heroes, speaking of Arnold. Sure. He's all over that episode. A lot of fun there. We do animation, Damnation on Morbius.

If you're still thirsty for Morbius content. Of course. If you're thirsty for Morbius. Yes. Another once upon a life, With Stop by My Doctor 3, A Patience Revenge. Once in a lifetime, I think the show is well.

Once in a lifetime. Sorry about that. Oh, it's been a long day. Oh, it's been a long day. Did we mention last action hero? We did. Well, you know what? I'm going to mention it again. That's going to be on Patreon.com slash weird movies. We also have a Gleap Glossary, Eric, on who? The Emperor's Royal Guards. I sort of wanted to reread some comic books before I did this one, but I didn't. But it's going to be, they're interesting fellows. The guys in the red. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's our. Star Wars Scheid show where we talked about

talking about random stupid little characters so we'll have fun with them. Yeah, there we go and of course there'll be a new Nexus episode out this month. We are back on track with TOS and TNG and of course if you didn't get it, we do a commentary on the first Harry Potter film where a lot of it has spent

bashing J.K. Rowling so be sure to get on that. It's a lot of fun. It's one of those you can watch along with us and if you want that movie to fuck off, hey, totally fine and you can just listen to it. Same experience I feel. And then of course on the main feed the show continues next week next tuesday brand spanking new episodes steve what are we talking about we are going to be talking about bullet time it's max pain

ladies and gentlemen oh fuck i have never seen this movie i'll find out this week me either actually oh you're not gonna like it yeah i saw it years ago it's trash it's like a sin city kind of a scenario am i wrong sort of i think the games were kind of like that too got it we'll see if i if I remember right, the games had a fictional drug. I don't remember if the movie does or not. It's like a slow-mo type drug. Oh, really? So now I'm just going to be thinking about wanting to watch

Dread. Yes. Probably. So until next week with Max Payne. I'm Andrew Jupon. Stephen Seda. Eric Siska. Chris Cabin. Take it easy. That was a hit gum podcast.