We Hate Movies - S12 Ep615: City Slickers

Episode Date: June 7, 2022

On this week's episode, the 2022 Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza—a period of time in the WHM schedule where they drop episodes exclusively on bigger, more well-known titles that may or may not have been released in the summer because the release date is actually irrelevant to the title of the series—kicks off with an episode on America's favorite midlife crisis drama/family western comedy, City Slickers! In a sea of good performances, how fantastic is Daniel Stern in this movie? Was Palance's Oscar win for his portrayal of Curly actually a make-good for a role earlier in his career? And what is with these boomers complaining about being able to take luxurious, high-priced vacations each and every year? PLUS: What’s the fantasy order of your human centipede made out of Comic Relief hosts? City Slickers stars Billy Crystal, Daniel Stern, Bruno Kirby, Jack Palance, Helen Slater, Patricia Wettig, Noble Willingham, Tracey Walter, Josh Mostel, David Paymer, Bill Henderson, Jeffrey Tambor, Phill Lewis, and Yeardley Smith; directed by Ron Underwood. Check out the WHM Merch Store -- featuring new WHAT IF Donna?, Mortal Kombat & Bean Dinner designs! Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm  Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the program, we're strapping on our chaps and hitting the trails as we talk about city slickers. I'm Andrew Jupin. Hello, it's Steven Sadek. Eric Slickska. It's Chris Cabman. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone, welcome to the program, thank you for the program. I'm thinking if you're tuning in. As always, that's right. We're talking about Ron Underwood's 1991 film City Slickers. You know Ron Underwood. Oh, yeah. As the director of Tremors. Way better movie. Which is crazy that it was a year before City Slickers. It may be his only good movie.

I haven't seen it in a while, but I will say I have a soft spot for Heart and Souls. Oh, man. He directed with R.D.J. We will absolutely be doing, like, I look at his, I mean, we'll go through thing, but I think we could do all of his filmography. You absolutely could, Chris Kavana let's keep going. Mighty Joe Young remake. Adventures of Pluto Nash. Yikes. And the film in the mix that I'd

always seen the cover of, but finally went and read the plot synopsis, and it's a movie about Usher, getting a job working for Chas Palmetry, who is you guessed it, in the mafia. Oh, that sounds like a lot of fun. He flirts with Chas Palmetry's daughter,

and then Chaz Palmetry hires him to be this girl's bodyguard. Wow. As opposed to murdering him out right? That's right. I mean, I didn't see the movie, so maybe, you know. It's a dark turn for in the mix. Yeah, I mean, this is, I will get right out in front of this. I've mentioned this movie probably a lot of times over the years in one way or another. I mean, but I will say, man, rewatching it. I mean, I have likely seen this movie upwards of 25 to 30 times. Wow. It was big with multiple members of my family, but I will say I probably have not seen it since around, like, 1999, maybe.

It was big in America. America loved this movie. This is a big one. I watched this last night. I'm like, to think that this movie narrowly beat out the movie that won the Oscar that year, Dances with Wolves, just a little bit less than a, A Silence of the Lambs, which was a runaway head, if everybody remembers. This thing was in 60, 60 mill of Terminator 2.

This absolute nonsense was within 60 million. Tour de force for the academy to nominate a comedy and give it an Oscar. Yeah. Insanity. Insanity. Think about what we're saying right here. Like all this money and all this like, you know, craziness going toward a, you fucking total mid-budget comedy. Like a family comedy

too, not like a big, you know what I mean big box R-rated sex comedy, you know, where kids are going like, you know, this is like for everybody. It's the perfect balance of that, Steve. You're totally right because what this movie is about is for like middle-aged men having midlife crises and dealing

with it and there's a lot of like, you know, adult stuff in that way. But it's also a thing that's like innocuous enough and Billy Crystal's being silly enough. and Daniel Stern's screaming in a high-pitched voice enough that children like me and my siblings in the 90s were fucking obsessed with this world. You know what children are also obsessed with?

Let me just hit play really quickly. Oh, geez. Coming soon to theories. Yeah, it's the VHS trailer game. It's back. It's unreal. It's favorite game about obsolete materials. I apologize.

We took about two months off. I mean, there is... And you know why? Because you were under investigation from the Gaming Commission, is that correct? Yeah, well, you know what, cleared of all charges, cleared of all charges, cleared of all charges, cleared of all, I think there's a pending appeal going on. Different things. You know, there was a cash settlement awarded to me.

I have to pay something out. There's a lot of ins and outs. We don't have to go into the whole situation. But it is back. We're going to finish this We Hate Movie season in a big bad way with the VHS fucking trailer game. I am your J-Master Stephen Sadek, and these are my clues. so Wow

Welcome back To death and exilences That's right There is Let me just catch everybody up on the score thus far this season Andrew Jupin has 25 big points All right In third place

Eric Siska is within you know Striking distance Striking distance with 41 points Wow That's crazy Not terribly surprising and Chris Cavill has 49 points to be in the lead,

but there's a lot of game left here. We'll see who goes where and why, ladies and gentlemen. So what I'm going to do is I took the VHS of City Slickers, and I picked three trailers, and I'm going to ask these guys a couple of questions. If you guess incorrectly within that round, you are out for that round. You can come back at the next one.

The score goes 5, 4, 3, 2,1. The first one is the J. Master's clue. That's the one you really want to get. So that makes sense, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We're old pros at this. Steve, you know?

All right. You know, I'm about to be a two-time loser and I'm ready to play your game. Love it. He's a loser and a boozer. Definitely that second part. Maybe, no, maybe you'll bug. Maybe you're going to find your smile this week, Eric.

I would love that. How about that, huh? I just have to bury one of you in the desert. Round one. Game Master. A very stupid cyber thriller that centers around intelligence, both leads were replaced in the even worse sequel. It is a very stupid cyber thriller that centers around intelligence. Both leads were replaced in the even worst sequel.

Wow. And this is 1991-ish. 91-ish is where we are. Cyber thriller. Centres around intelligence, both leads. were replaced in the even worse sequel. I got Andrew Jupin. Is this lawnmower man?

It is lawnmower man for five big points. There you go. Nice. Congrats. So, Steve, it was very clever because you were talking intelligence like that and not saying virtual reality, but then, dude, I remembered the monkey.

It gets assassinated. So embarrassing. I just rewatched like half of that movie on TV the other day. Fuck. Yeah, but I mean, you really got to remember that, you know, there was the sequel, Job's War or whatever the fuck with Matt Thruer. Oh, you forget about Job's War. Yeah.

So Fruer, Job's War, man. So Fruer replaced Jeff Fahey? Yes. Got it. Okay. We got to do that's on a stay tuned list, I think. Oh, yeah. Yes.

If it's available, I don't know. I'm sorry. Beyond Cyberspace is part two. Yeah. And then is there part three? Did you just make up that the the subtitle for Lawnmower Man 2 is Job's War? I absolutely did. So there you go. It was actually called Beyond Cyberspace. Now that actually rings a bell. I was like Job's war. Well, I never saw it. I kind of like the idea of Job having a war.

Yeah. So that didn't happen. So all right. No. That's round one. There's three rounds. So two more. All right. All right. Okay. Round two. Game Master's Clue A hyper-styledized hyper-violent cop drama directed by the Predators Prey

I'll read it again All right A hyper-styled hyper-violent cop drama directed, and this might be the biggest part of the clue by the Predators' Prey Andrew Jupin

That is maybe the last Boy Scout It is not the last Boy Scout. Predators pray, though. You see where I was going? And then you got, uh-oh, you got Chris Cabin. Is that deep cover? It is deep cover because Bill Duke. Yeah.

It's murdered by the predator. Nice. Wow, that misnomer you think Shane Black off the game. Right. Ooh, nice. You tricky little fucker with these questions. That's incredible. Got to love it, dude.

Okay. And then last one. Round three. Here it comes. Last one of the last one of the thing We can talk about city slingers Which I'm sure people are dying to hear about Yeah someone's yelling in their car right now

Game Masters glue A beloved comedian's directorial debut It spans decades And sports some atrocious age makeup Now somehow a Broadway musical A beloved Eric Siska Is it Mr. Saturday Night?

is Mr. Saturday night from Eric. Big five points from Eric's could pull it out of fucking Mr. Saturday night. Wow. Because, you know, he went back, Billy Crystal, went back to the well. He's doing it on Broadway now. And I was actually in my notes, I was like, I bet this fucker

before he's cold in the ground is going to do City Slickers 3. And I googled it and apparently it's in the works. Oh, of course it is. No fucking way. Yes. There was talks about maybe having Tiffany Haddish in it. He should do a revival do forget Paris and do it

at where the Knicks play and just do it on the on the court Yeah, Madison Square Garden. Yeah, yeah, Massa Square Garden. Yeah, I just go I mean, I don't, not the whole complex, I just mean with the action court, right there, right there. I hear something a little something to tie us in. Mr. Saturday night A, got, which is shocking, I would have guessed, I would never guess this. David Pamer was nominated for Best Supporting Actor.

Yes. For an Oscar. An Academy Award nominated David Pamer which rules, but that movie did so poorly at the box office that Billy Crystal was kind of forced to do city slickers too. So that's why city slickers do exists. So it's all connected, my friends. Wow. Oh, that's incredible.

And he called in some favors for that Pamer nomination, I bet. He pushed that nomination a lot. What is that movie? Is he a game show host? He's like a Don Rickles-esque loungey comedian. and it's, I saw that as a kid like a trillion years ago. Oh really? I never actually saw it at all

but I recently saw like some stupid like CBS this morning thing about the Broadway play and I'm like this fucking day. But how on earth are we making a musical about a movie that nobody remembers? Like why is this what we're doing these days? Because if you're, I guess if you're a huge

crystal fan, you are you know, between the ages of 60 and, uh, expired. And those are the people. People that love to pack those matinees. Well, because also with Broadway, though, because he had, what was that fucking thing on Broadway? He did 700 Sundays, his big baseball thing. Okay.

So he kind of has a little bit of, like, cachet in the theater community. So this isn't entirely surprising. Am I interested in it? Absolutely not. Got it. But I think it would be weird if it was like City Slickers, the musical. Oh, it's coming. One of these days.

You know it's coming. So it would be like the war horse, that crazy fucking puppet? It's like Billy Strystal on top of it. City Slickers directed by fucking What's her face there? Julie Tabor? Yeah, totally. You know, I went to War Horse For the Puppet. I did not see the film.

It was the puppet at least impressive. Yeah, no, it was pretty cool, yeah. They use the puppet in the movie or they use real horses there? In the movie, it's real horses. That's dumb. Yeah. The Puppet was cool as now. Imagine Benedict Cumberbatch riding a

puppet like that? He's on a CGI horse occasionally. That sucks. But the most of the time, it's real horses. I do hope in the inevitable city slickers musical that they have a young boy playing Norm the cow. Just like dancing around in a cow

suit. Just like doing like, you save me from the flood. Thank you. Yeah. Dude, it's a little boy debasing himself in a cow costume. Please. Do that, please. Well, this is a big hit because we're in the summer blockbuster extra extra extra extravaganza as well we should say

wow I totally forgot about that yeah now just to set the record straight here folks because I did not look at the precious release date of fucking city slickers okay the thing is we try to when we say summer blockbuster

extravaganza well actually this came out June 7th 191st it's fine but if the release date doesn't match up we're doing it because they're big titles big recognizable things so they're not maybe like movies released in the summer but it's the we hate movie's summer schedule filled with big blockbustery movies. But Andrew,

you've got to understand that is a correct mistake to make because it does it doesn't make any sense that this Woody Allen meets the cowboys. Like like for that to be one of the biggest

hits of any year ever. Like you imagine something like this coming out now? Like be it would be Netflix. It would be straight to Netflix and nobody would watch it. You would lean into the family stuff in a different angle. There would be no, like, kind of divorce-esque stuff going on. No affair, no arguing about who fucked, who.

You know what this is? It would have made this movie. It would have been Sandler. This could be a Sandler movie. Oh, yes. That's true. That's absolutely true. This would be a Sandler movie, but they would remove all of the fucking midlife crisis shit.

Like, what is, what I feel made this super appealing is that it's fucking, it's a boomer fantasy camp. shit. Yes. Yeah. That's, I think, a big part of it too. Well, yeah. The funniest thing about it is that it starts, like, the whole idea at the beginning is that Billy Crystal is like tired. Thinks these things are getting him nowhere. And it ultimately, the message of the movie is ultimately like, yes, they do get you somewhere. You just have to find the right one. You just have to keep on blowing money on all this bullshit every summer. And eventually, you will fucking find happiness. Ironically enough, if you're not 39, like Billy Crystal is, and like, I'm going to be in a couple months.

Sure. This movie is about a couple, three friends that go around the world, go around the world. Yeah. Exciting. World, folks. Exciting dare devil adventures.

At the midlife crisis. Sometimes they bring their wives. Mostly they don't. And every year. And now this time, Bruno Kirby is like, let's be cowboys together. And there's more to it than that. But that's kind of,

that's a log liner. Yes, but rubbing the money in our faces, right? I actually don't need the establishing vacation in Spain. No. It eats a lot of time. I guess it's kind of funny because someone gets a boo-boo on their bottom. Yes, the cold open of this movie

as we start in Pemplona, we're doing the running of the Bulls. And here are our intrepid heroes. Billy Crystal is Mitch. The beloved Daniel Stern is Phil and the late Bruno Kirby is Ed. They are doing the running of the Bulls. fucking Dan

Akroy doing some athletic or Dan Akron my god Daniel Stern doing some athletic climbing and hanging from that fucking flagpole Yeah he's looking fantastic in this movie Absolutely he was a last minute He replaced Rick Moranus

At the last minute And I honestly don't know If I believe Rick Moranus In this role At all You also need him Because like Bruno Kirby's really small Billy Crystal's not really tall

it's nice to have a big tall dude this BDE that Daniel Stern is sporting in this movie when he closes with Helen Slater at the end of the movie it's not totally inconseilable yeah dude squirt he's fucking banging Supergirl by the credits

okay this is the level of stern mania was talking about this movie male fantasy stuff too right because it's like oh my terror of a wife we see her on the airplane and later and oh my what a battle axe right I mean dude there's I mean, yeah, that's a horrible person.

And I would understand Daniel Stern being miserable married to that person. And I could bang a 20-year-old at work and then I can go on this vacation and then wind up with a, with a, you know, very attractive lady. It's wild. Daniel Stern closed where Jerry Seinfeld could not. Exactly. It's just absolutely. It's fantastic. It's a nice note.

I don't know why yet. The family, it's funny that like it is a family vacation. You find it later. But the opening is just them. doing the running with the bulls. And of course... You don't even get until they're on the plane. Yeah, yeah.

And of course, you're not going to have a Bart Simpson clone Jake Gyllenhaal running from these bulls. But like... You could have had... Chris, you could have had actual Bart Simpson running from these bulls because Yardley Smith is in the movie. I would have loved that. Honestly, just do

Roger Abbott shit. We're a little all over the place. I do want to say when I saw when I saw Jake Gyllenhaal kind of like 15 minutes into this movie as a little kid. I didn't know he was in this movie, full body shutter. Full body. Oh, it was just like, wow, yeah, got snuck right up

on you, huh? It did. It was, it grossed me right out, dude. It grossed to your mind. It's fucking insane. And also like, you know, the character of Billy Crystal, Mitch Robbins being 39, I could have my own Jake Gyllenhaal by now. Yikes. It's crazy.

Dude, you could have, you can have you can have. You could have Jake and Maggie man. Yeah. By the way, you want a bar bet that you could probably win. You could probably sucker somebody with. Oh, yeah. Bet them that

Jake Gyllenhaal was the disgusting kid at the beginning of Jurassic Park. Oh, yep, you could get people to fall for that.

You could get for people to fall for that, I think. Much better than Dustin Hoffman and Star Wars. Speaking of Becky Yelke.

Oh, right. One of the things I want to point out about this, the running of the bull scene is because it happens a lot throughout this movie.

The bizarre musical choices. So here we have the running of the bulls and off we go and the cue is fat guy John Candy music. Fat guy John Candy music. Billy Crystal

for some reason in a full Mets baseball uniform. Well yeah. You have to the music is to tell you that this is fun, that they're having fun because they're screaming about we're going to die, we're going to die, I'm going to have a fucking horn up my ass till the day I die.

Well that's what happens with the rest of the movie too. Like with the movie like because it gets dark in places like when it gets dark it's like But we're still going, to let you know that we're having fun. Like, when, like, Yardley Smith's seed, which we'll get to, is, like, fucking crushing. And it's like, oh, God.

You're all ruined your life. Toilet flush. What a fool believe. I got to say, I was watching this movie last night, and I'm in the late, great Bruno Kirby. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he crushes it. He does. I will tell you

I don't mean like a couple of other things would need to have changed as well in that Mario Brothers movie. You get Bruno Kirby in the early 90s is Mario. Yep. That's it. He's got what he's the, like Bob Hoskins is true gruff. Bruno Kirby is adorable and likeable. Perfect.

You can see him going yeah, wahoo! And you're like, yeah, let's do it, Bruno. And you get a wiry chud era, a weight level Daniel Stern as Luigi. Yes. That's about the the right size and the right head. You need a person with a

very, an oddly long head and Daniel Stern has. The long head, huh? Yes. Just a little longer than it should be. It's pretty great because at the beginning of this movie, he's more or less dressed like Mario anyway. Absolutely. He looks like when Mario gets the fucking fire flower.

He really does. Man, he looks great in this movie. He looks like Mario. He could definitely pull it off. Did you guys happen to see what his last television credit is? I mean, acting credit is, it's very depressing. I know it's sad. He died pretty young at age 57 in 2006,

and his last role was on entourage. Oh. It's sad. Playing himself or? Playing a character named Phil Rubinstein. I don't know what that's about. Probably it's a big cigar choppin producer, blah, blah, blah. It's going to do the movie with Vince.

He may or may not do the movies. Yeah, well, let me look at the, plot synopsis here with Aquaman packing multiplexes across the world it's time for Vince to capitalize on his success and pick his next project. Ari informs Viz that the dream role of Pablo Escobar and Medellet is available I'm going to stop reading because there's a wait oh wait no he's he's mentioned here yeah and all he needs to do is impress Phil Rubinstein the film's producer okay so he goes I remember this episode that was his last fucking per phone. Yeah, dude. That

episode, it aired in July 2nd, and Bruno Kirby was dead like pretty soon after. Yeah, that sucks. Yeah, August 2006. So. I wonder if they had planned

a longer arc with him, and that's why the thing, like Medean had to go, and then that Landau Ramon's movie became the thing. Oh, right, but then they don't let him do that anyway. And Martin Landau's like, I'll never let you make the Ramones movie ever. And then I was just like, I think it gets to make Meta E and eventually, though.

He does. But the fucking Ramones thing would have been so cool. And I was like, that was actually the moment I stopped watching Entourage, funny enough. Because I was like, that would have been such a cool thing to see. Well, I don't care about this. And I stopped. Good for you. What an embarrassing TV show.

What were we smoking? We were smoking 2004, dude. that's that's all it was straight that's all you had it was it was the style at the time so yeah we're running for the bulls Billy Crystal gets fucking knocked up the ass by one of them

I got pegged oh peg whoa we do see Kirby jump over a barrier and land on some people's head kind of Mario-esque that's true well the pecking through that brick

the pegging leads to the animated credits. Oh boy. All-timer. An all-timer in the cartoon. Absolutely. Because it like gives you nothing. It's just like here's, oh, it's going to be cowboys.

You ready for cowboys? So there's a cowboy guy. He's got some like big boots or chaps on and he's doing the lasso. And when he lassoes, it like changes the names of the people involved in the film. Right. I think we're also, we're doing stuff like, oh, we show that they are like, he's like skydiving. for a second he's scuba diving so it's like oh we're kind of catching you up a little

bit on what these characters have been doing and it's also just a nice like you're just letting this little cartoon play out like eventually he's got like the cowboys interacting with the cow when they're like dancing and stuff and it's just this nice stupid what you want

out of a fucking cartoon opening I prefer Madhouse that's just me personal opinion on Matt House classic episode classic film that no one has ever seen. I was starring Christy Alley and John Laracette. I would also say,

Honey I Shirk the Kid, another episode we've done. But yeah, I like that. That's a big one. That's like, weekend at Bernie's two, classic cartoon opening.

Because this one's a little cheap because it's a black background and it's just, you're just animating the little guy there, maybe sometimes the cow. And the whole fucking point of the movie is friendship and it's just like what I assume is supposed to be

the Billy Crystal character, I guess, like doing all this shit. No, that's, I've never, You know, who says a cartoon opening has to be direct, like, you know, acknowledgement of what goes on in the movie. I mean, he's doing the scuba thing and all those things. That's supposed to represent what Billy Crystal and them were doing.

Yeah, but I don't think that that's supposed to be Mitch, the fucking main character. I don't know. It's just a little cartoon fella. Still, I would like it to be three cowboys. Is it so hard to get three cowboys? Is that so much more money to get three cowboys fucking hanging out? The problem is they drew the Brudo Kirby one. Oh, that looks too much like Mary.

Yeah, we got to get rid of it. We're going to get in trouble. Nintendo's going to have a fucking field day. Woo! Ha! So! You know, it's been forever since I saw three amigos. I wonder if that has three cowboys as a cartoon.

I don't know. Yeah. You know, I'm guessing no cartoon intro for that, but I can't really quite remember. I don't remember three amigos having a cartoon intro. Yeah. So, Billy, we cut to Billy Crystal getting treated in a Spanish hospital, and it's it's like he has a funny joke of like oh you know hey man uh he's worried about you know the service or whatever was like whatever was supposed to be open don't sew it up but like oh yeah what's going

on with his ass here is my question i think it's the socialized medicine is scary but yeah but yes the idea i mean it's just he's got he's written in so many quips here for himself where or they did you know the writers did or i'm sure you ad libbed a bunch but yeah so the the joke is don't sew my asshole shut Which it's like Okay doctor in Spain Like yeah I'm sure this dude knows Not to sew an asshole clothes

Do you think if they sold it clothes Chris That he would shit out the wound If they left that open Like it would hemorrhage out One day would just come out Flop out right He was just taking a shit Or or he goes to the wrong hospital

Uh oh you got a Billy Crystal Human Centipede that also could happen to here My God please put him at the rear Either the rear or the middle, dude, you got to have that dude's mouth sewn up. I want Bruno Kirby to be the one who's talking. He's hard enough to listen to when he's not sewn to other people. Can you imagine how obnoxious it would be? He'd never stop complaining about it.

So now here we go. Comic relief, human centipede. Who do you want where? Now you got your choices, obviously. Robin Williams, Whoopi Goldberg, and Billy Crystal. So who's in which position, folks? You want the whoopster at the front. Yes.

And also dealer's choice on the other two, really. I mean, you could go either way. I mean, both of them are getting, like, I guess one has to do two things. No, you know what? Honestly, yeah, dealer's choice. I say, doler's choice. Can I say, I think it's got to be Robin Williams in the middle. Okay.

And can I tell you why? Because, like, I feel like he would be the most like, who, ha, who, like, gesticulating. and I feel like if that guy's in the in the middle, you know what I mean? He's going to like throw him off least. Okay. That way like Billy Crystal can be in the back making sure everything's sturdy. The whoopsters

in the front holding it down, navigating and whatnot. And then if he starts like Robin Williamsing all over the place, you know, he's penned in, you know. Got it. But the problem, I mean, of course, the problem with having Ron Williams in any situation other than the first

position of out of human centipede is that he's going to be talking anyway and those stitches are going to rip as quick as they go it's just going to be right off please they're going to burn off

please stop doing groucho marks you're burning my asshole a lot you are fucking killing me with this literally killing me with this groucho marks impression

how I ate your shit I'll never know whoope Goldberg speaks a little slower maybe like yeah maybe it's maybe it's but I do I want to hear from her I don't want to hear from the other two yep well I'm glad we got that sort of yeah it's important yeah it's incredibly important

so like he's got to have everything like you know wrapped up there's going to be a bandage and you know Daniel Stern's like oh well or one of them says maybe you know your wife won't notice i.e you won't have to tell her you know you got hurt doing the dangerous thing and it cuts to Billy Crystal like basically with like a diaper bump through his khakis it's kind of funny and his wife's like staring at it Yeah, and she just didn't know it. I mean, I guess, you know, she got a trip to Spain out of it. I don't know what else they were doing.

I hope that they front-loaded the trip with cool stuff, and then this was like the last of it, you would hope? I feel like that's how you do something like that, right? It's like, look, honey, like, we want to take a nice vacation to do something stupid, but if we front-load it with, we have a nice time, then I just do the stupid thing at the end before we go home. That should work out nicely. It's a great tapas dinner is kind of a situation.

Oh, for sure. I have to say I really do appreciate the big bump on his ass. Because it tells me that the Spanish doctor understood him and is like, oh, this motherfucker, I'm just, I don't speak English. Therefore, I'm bad at my job. And so I'm going to make him look either like he's a, he's either a baby or he looks like Homer when he got stung on the butt. It's one or the other is what he's going to get looking like for fucking days. If you saw that guy on the airplane, you'd think he's like in a diaper shitting himself. But I don't want to sit next to that. give me away from that please if you could yeah put that back by the bathroom and we meet Bruno Kirby's like very young sexy girlfriend who's like

it's kind of it's hilarious because I've been ruined by movies so much that I didn't even see the age gap honestly you know what I mean like that's just how shit works in movies like no 40 year old guys date 20 year old girls that's how that works so that this movie actually

actually calls it I'm like oh wow oh wow oh wow at least i will say this it's presented negatively yes it is here you know billy crystal has it's kind of a funny line he's like you keep getting older your girlfriends keep getting younger soon enough you're going to be dating sperm that's a good joke that's a good joke there are good jokes in this movie for sure and that's a great one probably my favorite and i mean there's also the great like you know so then they're setting up like daniel stern does not get along with his wife and you know there's bruno kirby and billy crystal like across the aisle and stern's like a couple back so they're doing like a

look at Phil he's pretending to sleep so he doesn't have to talk to his wife like the plane hasn't even taken off yet there's no way he's asleep I mean I understand that more than like I would be if I was Bruno Kirby I would be checking Billy Crystal a little bit with the jokes he's making

with her in earshot like it both with this girlfriend and this he the wife is a different character correct no it's the same I think it's the same girl it's the same girl oh okay yes uh i did i didn't notice um but in both cases he says some really fucking wild shit to

he does within ear shot and i'm just like yeah we're we're buddies buddy but could you maybe just take it down you know i'm not talking about your wife like this yeah totally the more i think about this movie it's like daniel stern it feels like that should have been the lead character he actually goes through stuff Mitch he's like even he comes back from this lavish vacation in spain and he's just like, well, I'm kind of depressed. I need another vacation. And, like, what are the stakes for him?

He finally learns to, oh, I love my family and that's the key to everything. And it's like, he seemed to know that before. Yeah, he doesn't seem to be like a distant father or a bad husband. So the fact that that's the realization, it's like, yeah, dude, you were doing a pretty okay job at that, you know, the first go around. Like you're just in a little bit of a rut Quick objection on a not a bad husband His wife is fucking sick of it

By the end of this one She's like Because we cut to a year later And you know It's Billy Crystal It's his birthday He's turned 39 We have this cute bit about

The phone The answering machine thing With his parents calling Which I remember like yesterday Like that's one of those So do I That's one of those scenes That's just like

burned into my brain And I'll tell you what dude I was thinking about it Just a few weeks back because I think about it on my birthday every year because my mother does this exact thing. This is the truest

joke to ever translate to me more now. I didn't realize it as a kid, but she does it now. Like, it just happened. And I don't mind it, but this is just what always happens. You get the phone call. It's 11.01 a.m., blah, blah, blah. She starts, she tells the same exact thing. Does she accidentally call you Mitch at the end?

Did she lift it from this movie? Did she start doing it in 1992? Oh, wait, you guys thought I was talking about my mom talking about my own birth? No, she calls and does the city slickers thing. That would actually be delightfully even more deranged and I would love it.

She's just a big Billy Crystal fan. Oh, Billy Crystal was big in our house. Oh, those Oscar years? That was Maximum Jupin's all hands on deck tuning into the Academy Awards. Oh, man, you are stronger than I am because my note on this was like cut her off.

Like getting this. I'm like I if it's 11. It's that early in the morning and she's called me telling me about my birth. No, thank you. So Chris Kavan, you say in here, you just like go around telling your mother to shut the fuck up whenever she goes on too long? Well, if it's about my birth, yes, I would. My mom calls me every.

Yeah. She's like, you know, you were born. Oh my God. It was 1144. And then we noticed that you had little penguin hands. you see and then we threw you off of the of the balcony me and your very rich father who was Paul Rubin's we threw you off the balcony

you see and then you were raised by circus penguins but yeah for me it's uh it's that my parents realized the scars on the wrong side that means the good Eric is up in the fucking cellar the attic Eric Eric's got a belly full of fish heads ooh

but and so look but now it's just Billy Crystal just bitching for about 20 minutes. Like everything he's morose. Also, do they live on Roosevelt Island? What is he doing on this fucking tram? They do. That would depress me, man. That would depress me right quick.

I'll tell you. So this exemplifies how long ago it had been since I'd seen this movie. The last time I saw it, I wasn't even aware of the existence of Roosevelt Island, let alone how fucking miserable it would be to live there. Of course you hate your life. You have to sit on that fucking people

mover to go to work every day. There's a There's an F-Train stop there. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, but like... I'm the only person, I think, in this room here that is, like, I'm kind of like like Roosevelt Island in a way. It's not, it's small, there's nothing much there. It looks brutalist, Soviet-esque, but maybe that's where I'd be at home. Eric, of course you like Roosevelt Island.

It's forgotten by God. I love things like that. It is just... It has been, man. It's where everybody's, it's like a little island off the coast of Midtown, basically. It's in between Manhattan and Queens in the East River. And it's becoming a college campus right now. Soon enough, people are going to have a completely different idea on Roosevelt Allen.

They'll say Eric was right. I have to say, I did always assume this was Chicago simply because the opening music is specifically Chicago fat guy music. Yes, yeah. The keys there, it's very different from New York, fat guy music. it's not it's not as jingly Chicago was leaching out in the 80s and early 90s. It had such a presence in American pop culture and film that the sausage

river was just oozing out towards New York. Comedy was run by the Chicago Mafia essentially and we've got to bring them back best times, better times. Here's a sad thing. This man, Billy Crystal, Mitch Robbins, he's about to turn 39 years old and this morning of his birthday

when he's like going back and forth with his with his wife here this dude really really hammering home that he has to have a birthday party let's all put that shit in check man fucking birthday parties folks you got to relax he's having birthday parties he's going on lavish vacations with his friends every year he's got a position of power in his office

and he is, oh, I'm sad. Why? Multiple birthday parties. Not only is he going to have the one with all of his friends that's going to turn into a Woody Allen movie. It's going to, he also has a family one because, oh, no, his daughter doesn't want to listen to Boeing people all night.

Jesus. Oh, right. Well, you know what? That's fucking great because the way they write that in, the daughter is not in the birthday party scene, which means you don't have to see Billy Crystal's real life daughter acting as his daughter. Yeah, for that meltdown.

But back to the birthday party thing. I mean, I haven't had a birthday party. And I think so it's like in my 20s and those are usually just bar things. This is Daniel Stern at some point with his wife wants to leave. And he's like, but we haven't had cake and he hasn't even opened his presents yet.

I'm like, you're getting presents. Like cake is fine. It's a birthday party, sure, I guess. But look, I'm not opening my presents like I'm seven years old. Yes, he's doing that and he still doesn't have enough. life's not good enough for me and also

it's his 39th birthday it's not even the big 4th look you want to have a party for the big 4 oh I'll get you a fucking watch or something like whatever 39 I'll remember that for next year watch coming for me oh but you don't know which one of you

I said I'd buy 309 is a steak dinner at a nice restaurant with your wife and I guess your family if you are so inclined. If you've got some buddies are close, like, hey man, you want to go off a drink and then look, oh yeah, it's your birthday. I'll buy you a drink. Like, that's kind of how that works. That's all

there needs to be. Uh, but he goes to work, Jeffrey Tambors fucking chewing him out because I also remember the pizza guy's song very much. Yeah, totally. It's like, I mean, you know, he's got, especially for the time in 1991, he's,

he's, uh, ad sales for a Black Lives Matter radio station. It's amazing. Yes. W.B.L.M. It is W. WBLM. Oh, is it? Yes, it is. Oh, I was like, what is he doing? It's literally I have no idea. It's WVLM that got a chuckle out of that. I will literally not be able to stop thinking about Paul Gimani now going like WBLM.

But ad sales in the 90s for a radio station, you put down a pretty penny, that's for sure. You know what I mean? Like, you're running it? Yeah, I just Googled WBLM, a real radio station in Portland, Maine. So quite far from the throes of, you know, between Queens and Manhattan. Still, I am really, I mean, I know we talk about this all the time, but like Billy Crystal is running ads for a radio station. What seems to be a pretty popular one. He doesn't seem to be the only person working on it. And then Daniel Stern is the manager of a supermarket.

Yep. Bruno Kirby Sporting goods store manager. Sporting goods, a manager of a sporting goods. I think he owns them.

At least. Yeah. With his brothers or something. His cousin runs the store. His cousin is, yes. So these people are doing a yearly international vacation.

They're doing what looks like pretty lavish birthday parties for each one of them when they get older enough. They can pop us in their mouth and beers. I guess. Yeah, this is why we call them

baby boomers. And they have these apartments that look like, like the fucking Mandel brothers from fucking dead ringers have this apartment. It's humongous. Well, hold tight. You got to hold tight, Chris Gavin. Again, remember, they live

on Roosevelt Island. I'll take it. And they're not being choked to death by student loans. That's the big thing. He was able to just he went to college. You know, he probably bust tables or whatever. and he was able to pay for $5,000 a year to go to school. And now he has an amazing job at a radio station.

He's doing just fine. Nothing short of the King of Roosevelt Island would be able to live an apartment like this. Like, I just don't get it. It is gorgeous. And I mean, another perk for Roosevelt Island, the view is going to be great if you got a unit facing Manhattan. It's true. That is true. I mean, yeah, that's true.

Outside this birthday party, I was like, ooh, this is a nice view. So the party is going along. Daniel Stern is pretending to sleep on the couch at the party. Very embarrassing. And, you know, the wife comes over, gives him the business about leaving. And he's like, look, we just got here. Yes, like Steve said, cake, yada, yada, just 15 more minutes. So then, you know, the three guys sit down.

And they, Bruno Kirby and Daniel Stern present Billy Crystal with his birthday present, which is, you guessed it, a totally free vacation two weeks. paying for, I mean, because, right, it's a gift. Yeah, totally. Yeah. Yeah. Any of you got me a vacation for my birthday, I'd feel really, really uncomfortable. I'd be really, oh, oh, yeah, man, that's awesome. I already cross this off here.

No. Well, Eric, I mean, I guess Steve didn't want it, dude. All right. I guess we did all that research. I guess you and I will have to die by the bulls then. Battlestar Galactica con trip over. Oh, shit. I take it back. But I mean, no, but it's one thing to be like, hey, man, for your birthday, how about we go someplace? It's another thing to give, like, that's like, you know, that's something like you want to surprise your wife with or something like that.

You know what I don't know. I don't know. I was going to surprise you, Steve, because they got Michael Hogan laying in state like he's landing at this Battlestar Khan. He's still alive, I believe. What is he? No, but he gets in a glass coffin at these conventions and then people can come up for the crowd. Just to get the crowd going. Just checking it out.

Mr. Michael Hogan is, here it comes. He's still alive. He's not alive. He's not alive. He's barely alive. He was just. I believe he's actually got severe medical problems right. Yes, you did. Yeah, there was a go fund me that I definitely gave money to. He was in Sonic the Hedgehog at least. Hey!

Air Force chief staff. So there you go. I forgot. How could I ever forget? So the birthday present, such as it is two weeks, on a real-life active cattle drive. Because remember Billy Crystal, you really liked the movie Shane

when we were kids and so on. Don't you want to work for your vacation? Yeah, dude. What are the fuck? Well, this is for people that never worked before, Chris. This is for people that have never actually done any manual labor.

Okay, that's true. But also, like, you do, like you two have jobs. Billy Crystal also has a job. It doesn't seem like a real job because Jeffrey Tambor is his boss. but it is a job and what is he supposed to do

just be like oh yeah surprise my fucking buddies are taking me to fucking handle cows for two weeks this is exciting to him because he he Hems and Hawes there's that scene where Jake Jellen Hall introduces him at the high school, not the high school is elementary school I guess yeah

that's what I'm trying to remember what kids are Nightmare scenario by the way Yeah and he he hates his job because he feels like it's not tangible Like oh my father or grandfather or whatever made upholstery and he could hold the product of his work in his hand and I sell air. I just sell air time.

I just, oh. I feel like what he's getting at, which you can't really come to terms of this, he's creeped out by his own son because he's got a little nightcrawler running around his house all the time, man. He's so upset about his job and it's just like, I say come and dick.

I'm 39. You do it okay? I could use a dude ranch. I'll say this. Jake Gyllenhaal was strapped to a chair Clockwork Orange style with the fucking things to lift his eyelids up and was fed Bart Simpson clips

just non-stop for this role. He looks exactly like Bart Simpson. I mean he's got much lighter hair that's just spiked up because it's 1990. At this party, even the fucking when Bruno Kirby, again, Bruno Kirby's wife cannot fucking get a

this kid goes over and is like the mom Patricia Wedding wedding is like oh it's nice

you know it's nice to see you again everything you know we saw your ad your underwear ad and everything and you look so nice

that Jake Jill Hall is just like mom you said wait till she has two kids like wait till it's what underwear she has on then or something like

see how good she looks after she has two kids yeah totally literally something like part would do to March, like, at, like, a function. But yeah, this poor woman is to get humiliated in front of this fucking little shitty kid, you know, that's not fun. No, it's not.

So, yeah, they're like, so they convince him to like, you know, agree. Oh, the weird thing to the other fucking weird thing about this is Daniel Stern is like, and the best part is, buddy, it comes right when your vacation happens. And I'm like, so what happened here? Like, is it like Daniel Stern dials into Jeffrey Tambor and it's like, when is Mitch's, I guess, pre-scheduled vacation time? I guess so. I mean, yeah, I would have been like, is that way I got yelled at? Was this like, was that a joke to get me like ready to go?

Or like, I would be really confused by all of this. Like, why did Jeffrey Tambur do this right when I'm about to go on this, again, cow handling trip? And he says what most 39-year-old men and or human beings would say, which is, like, oh, I can't, because I already have plans with my fucking family. Like, we're going to see my wife's family. Like, that's just what you do when you're late thinking. You know what I mean?

But then the wife realizes that she married the biggest stick in the mud and she's like, I don't want you there. In fact, I don't know if I want you at all. Exactly. This is a real, well, this is a light to, it's a trialish

separation. Find your spark again because this is not the guy I married kind of vibe. Yeah, I don't think, I don't it's a trial separation so much it's like okay you have two weeks fucking get it together dude yes this is like I'm giving you two weeks figure it the fuck out yeah it's not trial

separation is like being on probation in your marriage you know what I mean it's just like listen your things aren't really working out here your quarterly reports are shit you know what I mean look if you're gonna have an affair do it now this is exactly the time to do it you could argue your way out of it

pretty much maybe I always say when my wife makes me fill out my goals for the following year. Yeah, it's tough, dude. How are you going to, three? I'm not going to get three. I, but I do love Gardley Smith comes in. And I guess she's just trying to ruin this dude's life, I guess, as the move. You know, you're coming. Yeah, this is kind of a nuclear reaction, isn't it? Like, she's just late. And I mean, like, obviously, like, you know, this guy is pretty scummy, you know, cheating on his wife with the, with a 20-year-old girl, who's his employee as well. But she comes, she's there with a nuke in hand, like,

hey, I'm in front of, not even like, hey, Mr. so, because he even tries to do the thing like, oh, you must have had a problem with the register, whomever let me talk to you about that. And then just like, no, I'm late in front of everybody. Wow. It's amazing too. It's like at Billy Crystal's house at his birthday party, she went to their home. And what was it like their servants or something told them where they were?

I figured what the mind was. It was something like that. Man, these people have it all. and they're so sad. It's crazy. I remember as a kid, this scene actually made me uncomfortable. Because it's Lisa Simpson talking about being knocked up.

You know, listen, with voice actors, man, like, she just sounds like Lisa Simpson. And it's just Lisa Simpson going, I'm late. I missed my period. Yeah, that's what it is. Don't click on that when you see it on a torrent. No, absolutely.

It was in the backseat of his car. Oh, I remember there was, I think it's her in that, that, what do you call it there? That inside the actor's studio, something, something revealing that like dudes have like asked her for phone sex and the Lisa Simpson voice. And she always gets creeped out. Like, no, absolutely not. So which character does she do then? Let's see.

What are the other ones she voices? I don't think she does any other. Nothing. She just does Lisa. But she does Bart, doesn't she? No, that's, that's fucking, what's her? her face. Nancy Cartwright. Yeah. It was kind of a lunatic.

Is she dead now or something? I just saw on her a credit that in 2022, one episode she did do BART. Oh, that's... Oh, I don't know. Nancy Cartwright, uh, crazy Scientologist. Mm. Oh. I don't know. I was trying to think something else from that inside the action studio, which is

a fucking totally uncomfortable episode because they're all just sitting there doing the voices. And it's like, I much preferred when Mark Hamill explained to Kevin Smith like that he would never do the Joker in public like that and ruin the illusion

or whatever you know yeah and they're just out there fucking spit in Simpson's lines and answering questions in the character voices like come on you no fucking magic dude no fucking magic left with the Simpsons

well there hasn't been in a while right at least 20 years yeah the yeah so like him and his wife him and his wife start going at it. And, you know, this is Cassavetti's level shit, man. Daniel Stern screaming at her.

It's good. This is a good scene. It's a nice, like, adult scene to, to anchor the film. And it would play so much different now that it's, it's six foot seven Daniel Stern versus Hartley Smith, who is, like, just very tiny. And, like, I could just imagine how much different it would be with Rick Moranus, like being almost her size.

Oh, yeah, that's like, right now he could like, they could like, he could like pick her up and fuck her, right? You are correct, Eric. Anyway, but it's, it's fucking nuclear, man, because like Daniel Stern's wife is yelling at you, or at least when she goes, get out of this house, you little whore, which first of all, you're kicking someone out of someone else's house.

There are two words that it expected city slickers, whore and the one that comes later. I'll tell you. I thought the other one was little. Oh yeah, right When Jack Pallens goes Rib job Is that what you're talking about?

No, no, no. The F bomb later in the film. Oh, yeah, sure. Yep. Yep. But this ends with this fucking great Daniel Stern. If hate were people,

I'd beat China and then the cut of Billy Crystal let's bring out the cake. Yeah. Kind of some nice writing here. It was. Crystal saying the cake line. I laughed. Escape Nazis, calling your father-in-law

Escape Nazi, that's pretty fantastic. Oh, right. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, he's probably wherever he is on a Friday night with all the other escape Nazis. It's like, it's kind of great, man, because there's this and then there's another monologue that Stern gets like a little later in the movie about baseball.

But like, he's such a fucking great actor, man. And he really gets to shine it on in this movie. He is fantastic. And a bushwhacked is now available on HBO Max. if you're listening to this in May 22. Worth a watch. Go there now. We will be doing that episode soon. Don't worry.

So Barbara, the next morning after the party, they kind of like start hashing things out here and she's just like, this is where she's like, I'm not saying it's all right if you don't want to go with the rest of the family to visit her parents in Florida. She says, I'm saying I don't want you to come

with us. Yosa, dude. Holy shit. Yep. That is a real. let me just cursorily call a lawyer really quick just to sort of see see what my options are my old high school sweetheart has a bar down there i'm going to go talk to him for a little while see what happens see what kevin's up to so you and uh uh all your buddies can go fucking ranching for a week or two leave me the fuck out of it uh so we we cut we're on the ranch man we see some dudes

calf wrestling and tying up steeds and whatnot whatever cowboys do. That sounds right. Yeah. Correct. Sure. And you know, so they

sort of introduce you to the cast of characters who are going to be like on this cattle drive or whatever including Ironberry, the ice cream magnates. Oh, gosh. That's so fucking great. Yeah.

This is, of course, David Pamer and Josh Mostel. Yeah. So this is, like a Ben and Jerry send up. Yeah, which is pretty funny. Did Josh Mustel's entire career just get flattened by Wayne Knight?

Or like what happened? He ate, I mean, like, literally ate his lunch man. It's funny that you said Way Night, though, Cabin? Because I always confuse this guy with the guy on Seinfeld who plays Franklin Delano Romano-Romanowski. Oh, really? Yeah. Because they're both kind of like...

Yeah, they're big boys. Yeah, they're big boys. I get that. Big guy character actors who were around in the 90s, quite a lot. bit. Michael McShane is that actor who I believe was on the British whose line for a long time, which I watched incessantly. That is correct. He's also the

fucking inventor and Richie Rich. Am I remember? Yes, you are. I was just scanning through Josh Mastel's filmography and the basketball diaries appears to be a nice little city Slickers reunion him and Bruno Kirby. Oh, wow. Oh, boy.

Weird. and yeah then you have Ben and Steve Jessup they're a father and son dentist team Ben is played by Bill Henderson who's the cop at the end of clue yes right yeah

they do not know what to do with these black characters even a little bit they'll take rid of them they get rid of them in the middle movie get out of here that guy was in the younger guy

Phil Lewis playing the son he was in heathers and a few other things and you get your you're great, you know, Helen Slater, man. Yep. Supergirl. Supergirl Becky Galkie herself. And she's like, you know, this character

who is like on this trip by herself. There seems to be, there was a man in her life. Yes, the character's name is Bonnie who, you know, there was a man who fucked her over, yada, yada. You're supposed to go with her. And then now she's doing it kind of stag, kind of a thing. She's on her own eat, pray, love situation. Yes, that seems correct.

Good stern line here when he says, you know, when I was alive, I would have found her attractive. And then, of course, speaking of me guessing wrong about last Boy Scout, here's Noble Willingham as Claystone, the cattle ranch owner. Woo.

It's great to see him. It's gone to cow for my new job. Thank you, Chris. Thank you, Chris. I was waiting for it. And he says, he gets the titular a line. He's like, you come out. here. City Slickers, you're going to leave your

Cowboys. Oh, yeah, dude. That's the fucking Claystone guarantee. You got the great Tracy Walter, Bob, as Cookie. Oh, right. Yeah. Always a welcome sight, this fella. Love that this dude's doing some back nudity in this movie. Gets a Bob ass. Fucking weird Bobass later in the film.

Who is the, of the two bad Cowboys, which is the one that looks like the dollar store version of John Prisinski. That's the one who played in previous episode played Swoop in Drop Zone. Oh, Kyle Seekore. I was going to say Sector, but that's wrong.

Jesus. They're going to Mortal Kombat 3 again, man. Yeah, I kind of think of that a lot. He's also in the motion picture sleeping with the enemy. Isn't he the fucking... Is he the shithead fucking husband or no? I don't think so. That's Patrick Bergen. Yes. Oh, yes, that's right.

I think he's probably like the hunk that she probably almost hooks up with. Oh, he might get killed. by Bergen, actually. That might be... Note to self, rewatch sleeping with the enemy. The funniest thing about, so Ira and Barry are very clearly supposed to be Ben and Jerry stand-ins. Yeah. And there is

this whole thing between them where they are like, I know what you're thinking. I know what you're thinking. We're not as weird looking as we are on our ice cream thing, right? Like the cart and ads. Yeah, yeah.

And like, I'm just a I'm like, A, you're leaving laughs on the table, not showing me an actual one of these fucking, like, I need to see this thing. I think because it's like such an overt Ben and Jerry's thing. And in 1991, I guess everyone knew what that looked like. And they're like, oh, those guys, those are just models we hired to pose as us. Yeah. But I mean, but if you're going to do it, if you're going to lean into it like that, then I want them to like meet while they're out on the, on their adventure. I want them to meet like two German tourists who are doing the same thing. named Hagen and Dodd. They were busy hanging out with all the other escape Nazis. Well, I think

with Ben and Jay, like that joke could go two ways and you can still make it work. Like if they show the canister and like, it's just too handsome as balls dudes, like selling you ice cream. That's one joke. But then if he's like, oh, we hired models, you know, that's not us. Way more attractive

hired models. And it's just two dudes that look like Josh Moss Estelle and David Pamer. Like, you could also go that way. You know what I mean? Wait a night and some other guy. That would be amazing. Oh, who is

that equivalent? I'm trying to think. For Pamer, I don't know. I mean, now it would almost be Michael Schuylberg. Yeah. But it's like nine when this movie came out. Almost, you could also do a Giamatti, maybe.

Yeah. I can see that happening. Yeah. Michael Stoolbarg with that fucking. beard, by the way, in the staircase. It's a tremendous beard. Tremendous. But, so whatever.

And, like, you know, we got our fashion show. We got to do that. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's the thing, too, is like, so much of this movie isn't plot. It's just sort of puttering and montage. It's killing time. Yep. Oh, yeah. Oh, big time. I mean, there's two separate montages in this movie where all their stuff

gets destroyed on the train. Yes, exactly. Okay. You know. Yeah. I'm sure they would act like, oh, this is we're getting to know the characters and it's a fun trope of the era to do the you know the only thing that's missing is the I'm too sexy song yes where's there like the fucking cowboy cover of I'm too sexy get a fucking banjo like really ripping hell yeah that'd be amazing I'm too sexy for my shirt get Waylon Jennings to do it get Waylon Jennings to do it and then cut out whatever this love ballad is at the end of the

this fucking movie that they have this is that's a woo that's a bad song it's tough it's not it's like the same people whoever did the cover for the Aladdin song at the end of those credits

it's just like and also in Beauty at the Beach Taylor's Holders Oh yeah you're right It is weird seeing real people sing songs made famous by cartoons

Yes exactly by cartoon Pots and absolutely Yeah what is what I know I know it more from a fucking tea kettle singing it to me. It's just as unsettling as seeing Yardley Smith talk. Yep. Absolutely.

It's kind of the same feeling mentally. So, yeah, we go through the montage, pick another clothes. And the big joke is Billy Crystal can't find the right cowboy hat. He puts on a Met hat. And you should point out, of course, he is a diehard Yankee fan. There was like something, something.

The Mets put a lot of money into some charity thing that he was doing, so he like did it as a thank you. Yeah, Comic Relief. Yeah, I read that. Oh, come. Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah, comic relief. That's, yeah. Oh, interesting. Yeah, because I was saying it was, it's kind of weird because when his mother was saying the story of his birth and they had to drive around the Sawmill Parkway, I'm like, that's

Yankee Town, my friend. It is, the big, his best day of his life is going to Yankee Stadium. It is kind of weird that he just wears. He's also Willie Mays and stuff, but for whatever. It's obviously, like, they wrote the script with him, obviously, going to be a Yankee fan. then he's like, but comic relief. And they're like, what? Okay, I guess he'll just wear a Mets hat for no reason.

But then you leave in that giant fucking Yankee Stadium thing, which is something that happened to him in real life apparently. Yes. Yeah. It's, it's obnoxious. I'm sorry. It's just, it's just confusing. It is. Say thank you in another movie. Just say you went to Shea Stadium and it, whoa, what a day it was. It adds to the general, like, patchiness of this movie, like, where like, it feels like different parts of different scripts. Like, I feel like they had the script for the Western part of this that is most of the movie. And then they're like, eh, it's a little light here.

Could we get Woody Allen to write us maybe 20 minutes? Like, maybe get us 15 pages of, I'm going to get divorced, I'm depressed, I'm going to get a horn up my ass. You know, the famous Woody Allen gags. Yeah, no

problem. Just one quick question. How old do you want the grocery girl to be? of age this time, okay? Let me just talk to my writing part, the Dark Lord. What if she, instead of a grocery girl, it was his adopted daughter.

What a monster. But so whatever, the next scene is, of course, and this is stuff like stuff that I don't, I mean, look, it actually comes to fruition. So it needs to be in the movie, but like it's a little heavy like this like oh the threat of rape for helen slater at all turns it's a little it's a little heavy and it's a little insane that we keep these guys around and that we go on the cattle drive with them and then they become a problem later what wow what a what a shock yeah you got you got to i mean look if you're any if you're billy crystal i mean it shouldn't be necessarily up to helen slater be go up to like hey those guys were bothering her and i just think that those guys should not be going with us and i might want my money back because these guys are rapes Curley can fucking settle it, right? I mean, he sort of settles it here, but like, I'm sorry, but kick these guys out.

Yep. Real easy, peasy, man. Or have, you know what, get, I know, you know, he's an old man, so maybe he doesn't like it. But make sure that, like, he's got to be, of Jack Pounce has to be ready to go on this drive. Have a doctor check him just before it goes out. He doesn't believe in doc. Well, no, he can't afford medical insurance and, uh, well, also he definitely doesn't believe. in darkness. That too.

But yes, they're really bothering, like really bothering this woman and she's like, could you please leave me alone? They're not doing it. So then Billy Crystal and Bruno Kirby kind of get involved and they start fucking with them too. And then of course

Jack Palance in his grand entrance you know, breaks everything up. Lassoes Ophela's neck, which is a great move that I would love to do one day. Yeah. My favorite thing that Jack Pallens does is the open mouth, the loud open mouth breathe in. That's what you know he's really one of his best moves ever. Like, it just, he, he unleashes this thing maybe five or six times in this movie. And every time I jump with joy.

Did you guys read about like the other people consider? Oh, yeah. Eastwood, dude. Eastwood turned it down, not enough money. And Charles Bronson, did you look up? a story about this? Yes. Oh my God. Charles, nobody does that to me. Yeah, he does not die. And he started cursing at Billy Crystal and said, fuck you. Oh, I didn't hear that part. Listen, you little fuck, nobody kills Charles Brunson in a movie. You little piece of shit. Yeah, I'll do your watchman movie, but I'm only playing

Dr. Manhattan. But also, the only character I'm playing. The irony here is that he's all the same year. in the Indian Runner where he absolutely dies in that movie. So what are we talking about here? That's funny. So apparently like Crystal said, well, that's the key part of the story. Curley has to die so the three guys

can bring the herd in themselves. And you and I would have some lovely scenes together. And apparently Charles Brown said, fuck you, I'm dead and hung up. Wow. This was on Yahoo Entertainment. I found the scoop there.

Kind of incredible. And little did he know he would have been able to come back to play Duke in the sequel. And we could have had a Charles Bronson Oscar, by the way. Academy Award winner Charles Bronson that's the world I want to...

Wait a second. Did he not get it? No, I don't believe he did. I don't think he did. But I think he should have. Not for Death Wish 3, sadly. No. No, that was the best movie. I mean, that's... Wait, wait, he was nominated for one primetime Emmy. Okay.

the funniest thing is that he turned this down in wake of like the cannon run. His last movie before Indian runner is that absolute maniac Kijate. Oh, dude, that movie. Oh, yeah. Yep. Absolute maniac.

Forbidden secrets. Is that the subtitle of that movie? That movie might be too spicy for this program. It's really something. It's almost too much. We'd almost have to bring back side order a slays on Patreon maybe. We would have to do it. Now someone's going to be like they said they did that one time. Now why aren't they doing it?

Eric said it. It's going to be a $45 a level. Yes, special level. And it's going to be full of bleeps because it's just like, all right, well, he does say this in this part. I don't know how to talk about this movie unless talking about him saying this. The thing with Palance fucking throwing the lasso around this dude, it looks like it's like almost like a metallic kind of thing that he's like whipping around his neck. It doesn't look like a rope rope. It's weird.

It looks like it's harder or something. I'm sure it's some like stunt bullshit. Yeah. It's like an off color that rope normally is. I don't know. It's kind of weird looking. Like he's like strangling him with a fucking cord or something. I'm going to strangle you with a phone card.

Oh, that's right. There's no call waiting for you. You know, I worked with Jack Nicholson not too long ago. Oh, hey, that's funny man. I know Tracy Walls. we went to the rap party at Batman I've seen that man's ass Fun little reunion right there

It is, yeah pals I honestly, I mean that's the thing I would after watching this I still think I'm glad Jack Palance to go to an Oscar I would give it to him for Batman Don't forget your lucky deck Sugar Bummies

More screen time You are gonna need it my friend I can just do the whole scene, sorry I mean, it was worth it for him to do the push up on stage. Yeah, yeah. Honestly, that was that was what sold it to me. Thank you for mentioning this, Chris. I think that was the last, like,

startling moment of the Oscars since the slap happened. Yeah, I think that was the two big moments. It's also the two moments of the Oscars. Yeah. Well, wait, no, no, no, no. What happened in between? When fucking Bonnie and Clyde fucked up best picture. Moonlight, it's right, right.

And Roberto Benini, like, walking over people. Right. Oh, doing his fucking clown shit. Whatever. Those are, like, the four or three, yeah, those are the four events of the Oscars. I got to say, man, just thinking about Crystal, because you, you mentioned earlier that he was, like, your Oscar, whatever. I mean, he's everybody's, like, at least people of our age. Yeah.

Go back to one host who can, who could entertain and just let them do their thing. You know what I mean? And it's like, it's got to be a song and dance person, man. now you just you just cursed us with james cordon hosting the oscar show here oh god in heaven no but i think crystal anyone by him is he's got he's got presence he's fun to watch do i care for every single thing he does no but i would watch the oscars hosted by him again i would watch it hosted by letterman again and anyone a singular host would be terrific it has to be somebody corny even if it was amy schumer who i don't even care for or whomever else who i don't even care

for it just like one host at least gives it a vision and it's like oh now I'm watching the Oscars as opposed to like fucking 14 people doing something but it has to be somebody the shit all this ideas were bad because it has to be somebody a little corny yeah has the Oscars are fucking corny

it's a corny fucking thing to do so you have to have someone like Steve Martin or like Billy Crystal who can be a little corny right we'll see and that like that throw John Malaney in the mix just absolutely make sure Dave Chabelle stays home. Yes, please, please.

Well, because it turned into this thing, and I think this is one of the many things Ricky Jervis destroyed for everyone, it turned into this like truth to power thing to host an award show. Like, I'm gonna take the piss out of it. I'm gonna be really rude about it. And again, like, yeah, of course all these people

deserve to be taken down a peg. But it's also like uncomfortable. It actually just makes things not move as slowly, as quickly as they want. And also the things you want to see. We want to watch the awards. That's what you're trying to do. Everyone stopped watching those stupid fucking celebrity roasts already, you know?

Precisely. I mean, that's the thing, right? That's why Crystal made it work so well because, yeah, he's like a little cheesy. He's got just the right amount of song and dance. He's funny. And also, you never felt like when he was up there, he was disparaging the movies and disparaging the people in them. Like, he would make jokes about stuff, sure. But now it's like, and you're right, it is.

straight line from fucking Jervais, definitely. It's just this like, isn't this all fucking stupid? And aren't these movies long and boring? Like fucking the Wanda Sykes joke about like, I fucking watched Heart of the Dog. I fell asleep three times. And it's just like, why are you like insulting the movies that these people liked enough to nominate?

Like, what are you doing? You know, Steve, I think you had a, you had a line about the state of like blockbusters now of having this like ironic detachment. If you don't care, why do I? and I feel like that's the same of the word shows. It absolutely is. Just have somebody, have some fucking pageantry in there

and let's make it a three hour show and like, yeah, it's a self-suck, obviously, but that's the fucking point of it. And that's what we're watching. And that's the thing, is everyone thinks that they're blowing the lids off the joint and blowing the wigs off and knocking the monocles out by calling them out. The self-suck. But the thing is, everybody knows it's a self-suck, including the people who are doing the self-sucking and the people at home

who are watching the self-sucking on television. That's the fucking, the fucking contract you sign when you say you're going to watch the something fucking like an award show of any kind well if I'm trying to watch a porn home video of a guy sucking his own dick and then somebody starts making jokes about it like no get to the dude

sucking his own cock you got that you got that link candy or oh yeah it's a what is my search history get that fucking dong in there to plug up all them bad jokes dude they should have taken Roberto Benini in for like bring him into

some kind of compound and study his ankles. Because to be able to do what he did that night, and climb over all those things, they must be like, they made weapon X and they made Roberto Benini's angles. That was what the two

they things they made when they fucking made animating. Bringing in Roberto Benini into a compound, that's the plot of the film. I almost actually pointed that out, but let it slide. So the movie city slickers.

Oh, man, yeah. I mean, whatever. So Jack Palance, you know, breaks up the fight. And Billy Crystal feels a little bit emasculated by it, I guess. So, like, they're all eating dinner. And it's a great old-timey gag. If you're going to talk a bunch of shit. It's like, oh, he's right behind me, isn't he?

Like that kind of thing. Which I think was invented by Bugs Bunny. Exactly. Or maybe. Which, by the way. Charles Chaplin or something. I love Jack Palance. But if he gave an Oscar for this, it's time Bugs Bunny got an Oscar.

I crap bigger than you. Yeah. Ha. Oh, yeah. Think about my hot shit. So he takes like a big Jurassic Park like dump. Laura Dern, get over here. Jack Palance is sick.

On his side. Well, Jack Falons can't be eating these berries. Why is he eating them? That's a lot of shit, Jack Palance. Oh, my God. Listen to him breathe. What are these sores on Jack Pallace's tongue? Herpes.

Jack Palletts does want to be fed. Jack Palletts wants to hunt. Oh, damn straight, dude. Mother's luck of your great granddaughters. He also said there's a great knife throat towards that dude's dick. Which is awesome, yep. And then there was like talks around the camp, like that cookie, the, the chef there said that he had slits someone neck to nuts at some point.

Oh, yeah, dude, that's, you're on fucking vacation, man. You're at the, like, the little commissary getting some dinner and the dude who's pouring fucking Franks and beans under your bowl goes, uh, see that guy over there, he's your guide for the weekend. One time, stuck a knife in a man, put it fucking from his neck right down to his fucking nut sack. Enjoy your dinner. Oh, yeah.

Bone tomahawk to man. Oh, man, Jack Fallon's just ripping a man in two. But, like, yeah, I mean, that's the thing. Like, Noble Willingham's like, hey, here's two sex offenders that have probable murder. Hope you having fun fucking two weeks. Yeah, man, I think a couple of these folks are getting back from this excursion and they're suing him.

Yeah. Right. Like, you are fucking out of business, Noble Willingham. Good job on you selling all these cows to the meat company because you are out of business. You know why? It's the 90s. We're going to sue you. that guy could have shown up in this movie

and it would have not missed a beat he could have played cookie or a cow I mean it is a horror film set up like honestly like if you have these two have the bosses of the place like being like the motel hell

father and mother oh yeah it just it works so easily but because it's the 90s and it's Billy Crystal we're not going to be doing that great idea should we write dark cities like

yes please let's do it A24's city slickers oh fuck yeah dude fuck yeah yeah yeah oh I want that

oh you're gonna worry about one thing and that's me yeah can we cast one of the drowned cows can be Josh Gadd so whatever

man our fucking little cattle drive It's off. Noble Willingham's like, we'll see you in Colorado. It's like, man, you should probably come on this. Exactly. I'm going to be driving. I'll be there. I'll be there in a couple days. Totally. Like, what is he taking the fucking bus?

I guess so. But you know what? I think, honestly, after this excursion, he's got to be doing some undercover boss. I mean, because these guys that he's sending these city slickers out into the wilderness with unreliable. It's just a lawsuit waiting to happen. picturing dumpy old

noble Willingham putting on like a like a ladies uh you know wig or whatever and trying to see if anything fresh happens i feel like everyone would spot him is the yes i believe so well he doesn't have his trademark mustache in this film though oh yeah that's it is kind of weird also kind of weird billy crystal's michael jackson impression when this horse starts walking backwards sure because again there's just so much billy crystal is on a horse and we're gonna get magic whatever he does it's going to be magic we'll put it in the movie kind of it's just riff my man and that's also kind of the problem they let him riff a little too much so I'm like

oh this is the guy that's like despondent and deeply depressed at 39 doesn't seem it and that's the thing too to your point Eric I think that like unfortunately both Bruno Kirby and Daniel Stern get the short thrift and they don't get enough screen time you know what I mean like yeah if this is a true like about city slickers about the three of them it's a kind of a better movie. You know what I mean? You got to balance that shit more. Yes. And it's like, you know, you need to see more of everybody's

family life. Like, not just Daniel Stern at the party. Like, see Daniel Stern either at the grocery store or at their house and there's a big fucking blowout. Bruno Kirby, you know, at the bachelor pad with the lady friend. And there's a fucking Scatman Crothers poster on the wall kind of a situation. Absolutely. I would love this. Not a poster of Scatman. No, I don't mean. A naked woman poster. Because then you shave off all that Billy Crystal family shit.

You can see the wife, the kid in passing, the kids don't need lines. I don't need to have, no, God, no. I don't need, like, fucking tiny, dutty darko skittering across the fucking frame either. That could be fine. Well, that's the fucking funniest thing is when, like, at the end when, like, the one thing comes back and he's like, it's your kids. I'm like, of the many things that have been talked about over the last 90 minutes, your kids have not been one of them. Like the wife is mentioned, almost everything. The kids are not mentioned even at all.

It's like, oh, I don't get it. It's like, oh, little Bobby, when I played catch with him, it was amazing. And then, oh, when my daughter lost her first tooth, I thought I was going to die. Like, any of that shit could happen, but none of that does. Totally. No. My daughter did a flute recital. It was really beautiful.

My son, well, he kind of looks like a live action anime character. He talks shit about his daughter because it's like, you know, because she's like, why don't you quit your job if you fucking hate it? so much because we're having this conversation now and he's like, but I can't because she's going to go into art school and she's like, well, she's very talented. She fell off the stage and I'm like, Jesus Christ, dude, you're... Oh, that's what she wants

to be an actor and he's like she was in one production and she fell off the stage. And the daughter, played by actual Billy Crystal's daughter Lindsay Crystal. You know that name? Lindsay Christie? It did not take the world by story. Well, she was also in

the seat she was also in mr saturday night uh city slickers too obviously and then my giant we'll all remember my giant and we do it eventually god damn that movie man wait you couldn't get her into forget paris come on crystal we forgot she was right there for when harry met sally what the hell come on buddy was only two years prior please so they're riding you know we we do some like horsey stuff and then like the the first thing is like basically Crystal's like, oh, hey, I'm going to make some really fancy coffee because I'm a New Yorker. It's a New Yorker joke. And he's got a

fresh coffee grinder that he presses and spooks all the cats, right? All the cows. Yeah. And the cows, A, get spooked and then come back and destroy the camp and ruin everybody's shit. So everyone's pissed off. And then... And also, like, this is a... I mean,

look, I like this movie. I'm having a lot of fun here today, but I will tell you what. One hour and 56 minutes is unacceptable for this movie. And this fucking stampede scene that goes on for at least five to six minutes. Like, I got it, man. The camp's fucking wrecked. Let's

get on with it. Nope. Nope. Oh, man. And Palance is pissed because some of the cows are missing and he's like, you and I are going to go out and find those cows. It's kind of awesome. And fucking Daniel Stern and Bruno Kirby think that

Curley is going to kill him. Yes. This is the 84 movie. Yeah. I would. I absolutely would think that. I mean, also around here we get just meandering shit before we break from Bruno Kirby and Daniel Stern is where Kirby's like trying to gauge

if Billy Crystal would cheat on his wife. Oh yeah. Oh, because he accuses him of like flirting with Becky Galke or whatever. Right. And his whole thing escalates to like, all right, look would you fucking alien? Yeah, spaceship comes down. You know, no one would ever

know. They're probably there to collect human semen who knows what they're doing with it. wouldn't you do it? And you know what? The UFO angle, I don't know, City Slickers 3 is apparently on the horizon. I think in the desert it would be cool if he came across a UFO.

You know what? I'm thinking about it right now. And here's where, if this movie happens, here's what I bet is going on. Something, something. Daniel Stern and Billy Crystal. And shit, maybe get Lovitz back for it.

Something, something, because they will kill the Bruno Kirby character. We got to go do a fucking tribute thing for Ed, yada, yada. Because he's not even in the second one. That's why Lovitz is there, right? And then Jill and Hall steals an ambulance and, um, that would be incredible shit. My son is stolen ambulance. Ah, great.

But are you getting, are you getting one of like Jack Palance's like shitty actor sons? Like Paul Palance is he going to show up in City Slickers three? just like a grandson or something that has had handsome I bet you I bet you anything dude like it wouldn't be like a direct

palance offspring per se but like you put a fucking Scott Eastwood car actor in there something like it's it's like the grandson of Curley or yeah

if you do an older guy maybe it's the son of Curley like or get Frank Stallone his Italian cousin oh man something tells me Curley wasn't entertaining Italian

Look, we're trying to tank this thing so this is the best way to do it. Get Frank Sloan involved. So, yeah, anyway, they think that Curley's going to fucking murder him and, you know, they go out or whatever. And yet this is the whole they're wrapping up all these

like loose stray cattle and fucking, you know, Jack Pounce is like, all right, throw it over and lasso him. And then, like, Billy Crystal's got to, like, demean this whole thing and be like, no, no, no. Like, I'm just going to get off the horse, walk over, and put it on top of his head. And then, like, Jack Palin's fucking whistles. And we have this, like, why would he hang on to this rope?

Just let it go. Just so you can get the trailer line of, I'm on vacation. Yeah, it's for that. And it's also to prove he's, you know, because this whole thing is like he's trying to be a man. Yeah. In a way, right? Like, this is all masculine. any crap. I mean, he is, yeah, I mean, he's doing very, uh, manly things like talking about

baseball, talking about baseball, talking about baseball. He does sort of about baseball a little bit too. Maybe he gets a, he, he helps a cow get birth. And then the cow is like quickly used as just, just complete emotional manipulation. It's like threatened to die like two or three times. Right. Yep. Yep. Great. Fantastic. Mm-hmm. A little baby cow coming up. Billy Crystal also worried that by camping out under the stars with Curly it's about to turn into deliverance. We're definitely getting a fucking deliverance joke that was a joke made by somebody who has never watched

Deliverance. What about this is like Deliverance? Yeah, I'm going to be having sex with your ass. We're all alone now. Like just the two people who are in Deliverance. Oh, wait, there were like six people. Yeah, you went down the wrong river. I mean, desert or... Yeah. Wow, looks like you're going to take out your harmonica.

Oh, oh, it was a banjo in deliverance. That's real. Let me hear you squeal like a pig. Oh, there are no pigs in the desert. It's kind of like that Eddie Peru short story that I like that is obscure now, but it'll be big in a couple of years. Brokeback Mountain. Yeah, I got a big fan of that writer.

Yeah, I'm a vociferous reader. There is a great palance line here, though, because Crystal's just fucking yip-yap and he goes, it's like rolling a cigarette or something, he's just like, you make a lot of smart remarks at my expense, don't you? I'm like, he is ready to strangle this guy. Yeah, I think I'm going to send you to. Find that last cow at Access Chemical.

Don't forget your lucky dick. They actually used what Charles Bronson said to Biller Crystal when he offered him to roll for Jack Pounce's lines in this movie. Fuck you. I'm dead. You tell me how to act. I mean, I honestly, when I read the Charles Bronson thing, I just perked up because I'm like, he i couldn't imagine him being any cooler but he told billy crystal to fuck off yeah it's pretty

it's pretty great man dude if if charles bronson told me to fuck myself i would fucking sleep with light on for a couple days just to be sure just in case he's watching him masturbating immediately i get off the phone with us i'm doing what you told me you told me to fuck myself and i am uh so it went whatever they wind up having a nice little moment under the stars singing tumble and tumbleweeds and Billy Crystal's playing the harmonica.

And then of course we got a Billy Crystal our way out of that scene though. It's like a totally nice moment. They cut to this nice composite shot of like, you know, the desert and the mountains and whatnot. And then it's just you know any show tunes? Yeah. And it

it fucking ruins that moment. And the next thing is the cow gets, uh, they find the pregnant cow and the birthing scene and like yeah he's just like riffing and he's like shut the fuck up and deliver the cow she'll kick you and kill you and the calf and that's too much for me to carry back look inside the cow look inside the cow now I'm going to kill the cow I thought they smelled bad on the outside by the way this is like Jack Palin's just sleeping in this cow gotta stay warm

take out the calf and put me in I'm sick Joshua still rides on a horse I found them repeat I found them man by the way this fucking cow birth fucking Cronenberg level body horror

I know that it's a nasty IRL too but wow holy shit man and it's like there's a bit of pop it and there's a bit of real life I guess what was the trivia saying they had three pregnant cows on hand like waiting for them to like give birth

and do this scene or whatever so they could get the footage of like the actual like little calf standing up and whatnot no yeah we had three on set and yeah part of his contract Jack Palin's got to shoot all three of them after they were done I don't know why he liked it I don't understand it

I like watching the light leave their eyes thank you Mr. Palitz you're an icon thank you where's everyone going I was gonna skin him and cut him up and grill him and have a nice time here. Watch a new rug. The cast and groom city slickers running away. So, yeah, whatever.

Of course, like, he loses his watch inside this cow. That's a joke. That's also very gross. Well, I mean, if Jack Pouts hadn't shot the cow just because it was, it would have to, he would have to shoot it anyway because of what was left inside of it. Oh, right, yeah, yeah. There is a nice exchange here where Billy Crystal jokingly is like,

I made a cow, and Jack Palin's gets in on it and goes, he looks like you. Oh, add one cow, minus another, bam. Yep, totally. Mother's gone. Balance, preserve. I took them to the meat company because he's just a cow to me

and they didn't mind that's what I call the palance balance if you can't even just starts eating this cow like dead just not even skinning it it's best this way I like my hamburgers

extremely raw hey Mitch did you ever pretend you're a wolf he's just eating the placenta like an apple God Damn it

Why don't you go back to the beans while I have a real dinner I said how man neat I don't know what city slickers eat I'm gonna go see the Northman after this

but yes on the ride back we get into some talking about ladies and I love red heads which is disturbing and basically this is the very important

scene which is basically him. And it's a nice scene where it's just like... He does a good job. I'm not being a dick. He's just like, you know, you worry about stuff too much. You gotta worry about one thing.

And it's like, what's the one thing? It's like, that's for you to figure out. And the one thing is, when am I going to kill you? Ah, you'll be looking over your shoulder the rest of your life. Murder's a good thing to focus on. I've been doing it all my life. What's the one thing? I'm going to kill you with, a candlestick, a rope.

Maybe I'll push you off a cliff. I did it in the study. I just noticed. Yeah. Take that Colonel Mustard. Jack Fallenstein's died the same year as Bruno Kirby. How hard. Yeah, man.

It's got to suck to be sitting on set and being like, I'm going to outlive that guy by a lot. And it just didn't happen. And because God takes our best first. I mean, Bruno Kirby, what a fucking great guy. Absolutely. Oh, yeah. But so that's kind of the big thing.

And he learns that and they kind of get together and like the neck that night. And again, it's kind of amazing that night he's just basically like Kirby's a great, you know, not Kirby. Curley's a great guy. You got to come meet him. And he's like, he's just sitting off in the distance and he's fucking dead. And he's out of the movie. Yeah. Yeah.

Just dead. And there's still 50 minutes left, folks. I hope to like more city slickers without the Oscar winning performance. This really was a shock to be that he, there's so much left after he go. I assume there was only like 20 minutes left when he goes. I wonder what his screen time altogether is. It's probably pretty low because prior to his death, we even get this ice cream off. What, what, what, what's his name?

Josh Mostel as Barry can name any ice cream for any meal. Oh, right. He can pair it with like that your dessert after whatever meal you had. And this goes on. It goes on.

Way too long. Because these guys, they're trying to make them characters, but they're kind of not. They're there for that initial joke. And they're kind of don't matter after that. Well, look, all fat guys have special food power.

It's just a knowledge of thing that we all know. We don't talk about it. But this is, guy he has a special food power it's to match the the fucking ice cream with the right food and this eats up 15

minutes oh yeah because we need we need like Mitch searching his mind for how to stump them or whatever so it's like sea bass potatoes all grottin and asparagus and of course he nails it with rum raisin being the parent I've always liked the

end of all this of Billy Crystal laughing at them and being like well how the fuck you just fucking woohooed each other. Like, how do you know you're right? You know, and it's like 1,700 retail outlets across North America. That's how. Do you have restaurants with them?

What are you talking? Well, Ben and Jerry's has some, you know, they have sit down stuff. I've never been to a restaurant. Do they have savory? Do they bring you a chakutery board? No, no, no. It's like an ice cream shop. Yeah, no, exactly. Like a basket rob. Chris was trying to say, like, are you serving a steak at this place that you would have an idea of

pairing anything? No, it's, it's ice cream only counter service stuff, but you'll find some that have like seating areas and shit like that. But, you know, no, there's not like a waiter bringing you fucking blooming onion before your ice cream. But then this is where let's get curly in on this action. They find him dead. And they bury him like a dog. Oh, yeah.

Just like a dog in the fucking ground. I do love Daniel Stern being like, the man ate bacon at every meal. I think about that lie. Yes. A lot. You can't do that. You can't do that. Yes, exactly, which rules.

And then fucking Cookie's got a good line here. Like, because Billy Crystal suggests like, oh, Cookie, why don't you give a little bit of a eulogy here? And he says something really quick. And then they're looking at him. And he's like, well, what else is there? I got chicken burning. He hat.

And then sort of the next movement is cookie. And because it happens really quick. Like, Cookie gets drunk and like basically destroys the camp yet again, which you've already seen happen. I think it's important to just really quick we don't have to talk about the scene itself because it's just like whatever like more of the drama stuff

but it's this kind of like whiplash shit you feel watching this movie because the scene right before this is the three them doing all of the best days and worst days and Bruno Kirby they all give nice monologues here and Bruno Kirby's is about like him standing up to his abusive father

yada yada that's my best day and fucking Daniel Stern says what's your worst day and he goes same day and rides off And you're like, wow, that was all really heavy and devastating. And then it's like, now cookies drunk and all the food's falling out. It is a dromedy, but it is just sort of, it's more of a, speaking of ice cream. It's more of a Neapolitan style, you know, chocolate, vanilla and, and, and, uh, and, uh, strawberry kind of a thing. Like, it's just, we cut between the, and the delineation is so severe.

Yep. Well, I mean, it is, it's literally a Woody Allen Western. Like, what would that, what would those, like, like, I can hear the pitch meeting, like, literally like, why don't we take Woody Allen and Westerns, which are doing terribly right now, put them together. We got the Billy Crystal headline, and we can't lose. But the funny thing is it's important to specify, I think,

like, Hannah and her sister's crimes and misdemeanors kind of Woody Allen. Yes. Oh, this is like Hannah and her steers. Excellent. Hannah and her six steers. interiors of a cow's vagina oh man so one of the one of these fucking

other pervert ranchants there he does kind of a good line that I always laugh at he's drunk the old shithead yeah what else are you going to do with this job I would be getting drunk all the time if of course like you have to be if I was cookie I'd be getting drunk all the time or I'd be skipping

over and milking the good cow by the rich guy's house. There you go. But also, like, if you were to, like, once the old man, the boss of it dies and you're left with these two guys that are fucking dangerous, you got about, you know, fucking shows over, folks,

let's just go back, let's go to a town, call somebody, hey, give this guy a proper burial and call his twin brother who exists, you know? And, or let's, how about a shallow grave that's unmarked besides this rickety cross? That's what he would

love and like, yeah, it's not the, I mean, we're pretending it's the Old West, but like, yeah, like, civilization is like two miles away. I don't know about that, man. There's some fucking vast stretches of this place. And the point they make, though, is like, they can't just fucking leave because they're in like a really like desert part of everything and all the fucking cows are going to die. Well, yeah, this all goes back to them hiring only criminal maniac to work for them. Like that is, this is really where that's not paying off because J.R. and. and Tinky or whatever his name is. T.R. and Jeff, I think. There you go. No, J.R. and Tinky, dude. Okay, so J.R. and Tinky. Go ahead.

J.R. and Tinky, they're next, like, immediately, not like, literally two scenes after fucking Curly is dead. They're holding a fucking gun to this little cow's head. Oh, dude. They're putting it in its mouth. L-O-L from this guy over here, man. Absolutely. Oh, absolutely. And this, this calf is fucking adorable. I was totally in love with it last night as I was as a kid I was like this is the cutest little thing in the world but putting a gun inside of its mouth

I was slapping my knee man and then the dude he's doing it he's fucking like making this fucking little baby cow lick the fucking barrel of this gun dude and he's like he's taught the rest of them because they're all scared in a tent and he's like do you like calf brains

because basically they get drunk after like so cookie is it breaks its leg and Ben and Steve who have done nothing this entire time they offer to leave the movie Yeah so we can leave the movie

They volunteer to not be in the movie And it's like okay so we'll just And the rest of us will go on With the what do you call it there With the with the expedition And they find How about you dig back up that body And take it with cookie

Exactly good would you mind And or like Or do we know exactly where we buried him We don't Yeah. And also, I like the, I like the trend of, what did you call him Tinky and Jeffie? What was? J.R. and Tinky. Right. All right. Those guys. I love, they were like, oh, like cookies drunk again, that piece of shit. Uh, anyway, let's get immediately drunk just like him. Yes, exactly. Totally. Say, that's a good idea. There is the decent gag of when the food crate goes off the cliff when Cookie breaks his legs that the horses are buried and we do a cut. just two more graves.

That is funny. Skyrocket and Buttercup. It starts the same way. It's like, what can you say about Skyrocket and Buttercup? It's a very funny joke. So yeah, Ben and Steve pack up cookie. That's getting some characters out of here. Did he have a smiley

face on his ass when he was doing this whole thing? He definitely did. Yeah, probably written in his own feces because the man's insane, right? Okay. I just wanted to double check that I wasn't just seeing things. No. And so Billy Crystal tries to stand up for Norman the cat. here and you know he's trying to like get the guys to calm down and so he one guy calls him a pansy

ass bastard and then it's followed up immediately with the other guy calling him a shit-nose little f slur and then here you go you know what as if the movie was like we're sorry we know that that was bad here can we make it up to you here's a shot of billy crystal getting punched in the face By the way, only PG-13 with that language, folks. Wow, the toilet talk, dude, unbelievable. Terrible. Little Bill of Dead were saying it all the time. That's true.

That's true. They fucking love that word. But this was so bloody. It should be an R. Honestly, it was horrific when that calf was birth. That was Kurt and Bergey and dude. That was from the brood. That was disgusting.

It was just, Sam Ramey's City Slickers is really, it's a return to Oh, man, did you see the new city slickers? You guys, Ramey got to Ramey again. God damn it. Oh, that means, oh, yeah, he just taped his other work and there was a zombie and got it. For six minutes.

For five and a half minutes, it was quite ramy. But so Daniel Stern gets in on it, man. And he's ready to go to hell tonight. Oh, dude. Get this dude's gun. Fucking put it in his face. My father-in-law is a bully. Yeah.

This is so close to turning into a fucking Michael Henneke movie. Yep. Just like any moment now. That'd be great. The thing is he's got nothing to live for, man. And I think that's dangerous. You know what I mean? Like, I lost my wife, my job.

I got some rash from making in the bushes. Yeah. I mean, he's the guy that actually has a character development and growth and here's him trying to be you know he's being a man and whatever it's it's as close as daniel stern ever got to performing michael douglas's character from falling down like because he's ready to fucking snap oh yeah dude we're going to hell tonight but it just reeks of like phil should be the protagonist what is just just to have mitch make quips yeah totally billy crystal got punched out in two seconds daniel stern saved the day and stern pulls this off i don't think crystal could pull this

oh no can you imagine that's what i think that's maybe the problem is if moranus was here again i don't think it's as a commanding of performance i think it's much more totally right oh yeah i lost my wife in my house you know what i don't like bullies exactly and look even if he's got the gun we're just doing big bully again yes exactly i but it's amazing because it takes it even weirder turns he does that whole thing and like they're like he doesn't kill the guy that's the joke and then he's like now you two assholes sleep it off but then he goes back in the tent and he's got the loaded gun and this goes on for a while and it's like this dude's a family annihilator man totally dude he's petting every fucking round in that chamber it's really something

gently making sure all the girls are comfortable in their bed before we fucking set out into the night man tell the tell the ex-wife and yardley smith to go see their parents when when when he comes back. Make sure that they're not around when he comes back with this gun. It's just going to get bad. We should also say that this movie does sort of chicken out that. Yardley Smith actually wasn't pregnant. She just lost Mr. Period.

And, you know, eventually. Oh, that's right. They just kind of chicken out of that whole thing. But I feel like that's also to be like, see, Phil can now really start over and now he can have freedom. That's what that means. Becky Galke. She's right there. Yeah, exactly.

But he starts having this breakdown about working at the grocery store it's fucking rough and it's also interesting thank god he's got his buddies fucking Ed Mitch there just the idea also he's like he knows a gun so well because he has one

at the grocery store and I'm just thinking like and if anyone's listening to this that works at a grocery store do not risk your life for the cash register definitely not absolutely absolutely fucking loop I gotta tell you there's this episode's long enough but I'm not going to go

all of any of them. No, no, go do it all. Do it all. My dad, you know, managed a couple grocery stores in New York and has some, like, taxi driver-esque stories about defending the register. Wow. It's really, it's really something. Your dad ever save a child prosecutor? How many confirmed kills, though? Not the, none that I know of, but just like he would, he would get into it, man. You're taking that money for the register? Not on his turn. So he would stand, he would, he would, he foiled some robberies, huh? To hear him tell it? Absolutely. Wow. Huh. That's incredible. I bet you though, a civil shepherd had ever done it. He left her habit. There was a story. My uncle was a taxi driver

briefly in Chicago and some guy pulled a gun on him and gave him, he just gave over the money. And that was his last day as a taxi driver. It's a great idea. Oh, that's fucked up. Oh, did he leave on his own recognizance or did Danny DeVito fire? Or the Danny DeVito equivalent of his taxi garage. You know what? He says he left on his own, but I think Danny DeVito fired him. I prefer that

version. And the best news of the movie is both all of these, both those scumbags leave in the night. But now it's like oh no, what are we going to do? They left us. And you know, this is when everybody decides to, you know, we'll just

go, we'll ride into town and fuck the cows except for Bruno Kirby who wants to bring the herd in. So, oh yeah, but so Phil gets in on it. Stern is like, I'm down, Bruno Kirby. Like, I will help you. We'll do the fucking cattle ranch. You know, we're not about to let all these animals die.

So like Ben and Jerry and Becky Gelke and Billy Crystal are all going to go to town. And then like, so I'd love to watch all those guys go to dude, that'd be fun. Oh, fuck, yeah. Talk about 31 flavors. Right ice cream.

Oh, now what ice cream you pair after human semen? Probably like a shaved coconut. Yeah, that sounds good. Yeah, that makes sense. You definitely need to go sweet. You want to stay away from like the salty caramel pretzel stuff, you know? Yeah, and ass to mouth you want to go pistachio. Rocky Road.

Rocky Road even better. it's a new flavor we're developing called Hershey Highway Oh man Oh man But I hate what movies do this right Where it's like

Yeah right We're all gonna go this way Good luck you crazy guys And then like Two seconds pass And then it's like Bap-Bah Bally Crystal's return Like

All right Like how about like They get into peril And he saves them Not just like They went down the road Half Mile And he changed his mind

Well excuse me his his vest is much nicer he's also wearing he's wearing jack palin's hat that fucking that's stolen valet grave robber so clearly he knows everything now and he is Jesus himself Jesus the Lord of all the Cowboys it's true he's come back in immaculate visage you know what I mean he's changed

it's been three days he is risen on the horse honestly they should just have Jack Pallens come back as curly in the end that would be awesome I fell asleep And I woke up under some rocks I was in a cave

You really got to check someone's pulse Before you bury up Is there any Roman centaurians around? It's oh and also He's like it's a real It's such fucking hack shit He's like Oh sorry I'm late Norman

So much trash Oh, yeah. We love that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Because it's the dazzling. And, like, here is a thing where, like, I don't, I don't know what this one sequence serves, but, like, yes, one, the episode is long enough. But also this movie has fucking been long enough. The whole thing of, like, this, they just must have thought it was a funny bit. Daniel Stern and Billy Crystal going back and forth about how you record stuff from your TV to the VCR. It was the style of the time. friend, that's what we did. I think this was

a humdinger of a riff in the era. It's wild shit though, that it's just the movie you wouldn't know it was moving if it weren't for the horses doing the walk. The only thing about it that's kind of interesting is it sounds and

feels like all those really sensitive scenes because like I just don't think I'm ever going to be able to do it. It sounds like it's going to be about impotence. I think it's the joke because it's like has it never happened to you is it like, you know, does it But Steve, yeah, you're totally right, but that's like three lines of a 67 line. No, it goes on forever.

Even Bruno Kirby gets too tired of it. That turn is fucking funny, but then they're literally just, because then they try to, then the joke becomes he's frustrated at how long they're taking. But it's like, so's the audience. I mean, I think a lot of these lines are, I mean, and the way that a lot of this does feel like, Certain scenes just, like, there's no flow to the movie itself. There's just, like, scene, scenes happen. Yeah, exactly.

Things like that, I think it is, there's like a sitcom-y paste. Like, this was the beginning of this turning. Oh, absolutely. The big movies are very sitcomy, and this feels like a sitcom set up. The Siskel and Ebert of this movie, and they praise specifically this moment of the recording on the VCR talk or whatever. Oh, because fucking Gene and Roger. had a fight about the same thing but they actually

they had one good point is like Bonnie gets zero to do in this movie and oh yeah if they could have used her as a sounding board for some of their problems with women.

Yeah I mean that they are maybe maybe but look she does get to be the prize that Daniel Stern wins for not killing himself so you know what so you know what she's something she's something out there.

See folks it might seem like it might seem like things are hard, but stick it out because Supergirl might be right around the corner. It's sick. Squirt. So here's the big action scene that

ends the movie, right? They got to cross the river. There's a big storm. There's no way around. There's no way but through. And it's where we got all our guys navigating all the horses and whatnot. Everything's good except for, whoops. Norman, of course, is drowning. Billy Crystal runs after him and this is the big the guys have to rely on each other

to save, you know, and everybody's working together and we're all best boomer friends and whatnot. Something that has just like bridge the divide throughout Hollywood is we love seeing animals in distress. Yeah. Just something that audiences eat up and I don't understand.

I'm like, this is five minutes of a cow almost time. They put this calf through the torture. They put this calf through the paces, dude. They put a gutter in its mouth. They are, like, drowned. thing. Its mother gets shot in front of it. It's like a baby animal. You can mistreat all you want in a way. But it reminds folks, you know, like it's, oh, what's better than kids? Oh, cute little animals. So that is a huge stake. To do that and just put them in danger all

the time. And the audience was coming to. I mean, I do. That is essentially like the beginning of Beethoven is like that. A lot of this shit is like that, I guess. The whole thing of Beethoven is an animal in peril, like, right? Isn't the whole thing? They want to shoot that dog. Miguel Ferrear wants to shoot him in the head? They want to shoot that dog in the head? Yeah, or some type of medical experiment, I think, was also supposed to be perpetrated on the dog.

I rewatched it after Groding Pass, and I hadn't seen it in a thousand years. Did it hold up? I haven't seen it. Well, I don't know if it held up back then. I'm just checking my review on Letterbox. I gave it two and a half stars. so I don't know what that means. I don't know what state I was in.

We'll be doing it at some point and highlight and Groden's fantastic performance. All right, here's listening to this review I wrote. You'll forget that the movie Beethoven is about people trying to kidnap a big dog to test a new bullet on its skull. That's a, yes, that's a bullet. It's crazy.

That's amazing. Best biggest laugh of the movie, by the way, is when Billy Crystal is going down this river and he's trying to protect this calf. And you just see Billy Crystal get slammed against a rock and he gets a little out of a real oof too it's just great oh it's kind of great it's good reaction

and uh anyway but you know so then yes Daniel Stern uh pulls him in and he almost follows but the Bruno Kirby pulls him in and then we're all like on the side of the cliff like wow that was something also how is he holding this I mean I know it's water but how are you holding this fucking cow dude

I don't know that thing's got to weigh 150 pounds well when you get Curley's hat you get super strength got it I'm helping you out down from hell It's gonna be great The devil gave me powers Just try it out

You can bench press a Buick Hey bitch hell was full I'm gonna ride with you now I have to When hell is full I walk the earth Dude let me tell you I don't know if you guys have ever seen it but the second movie literally starts with Billy Crystal

thinking that he is seeing the ghost of Curley all around New York City. Oh, you know, I forgot that. I forgot literally everything about the sequel, but I've definitely seen that a few times. Oh, great. Ed's new trip has taken us to this new little shack and here's the Necronomicon.

That's the Necronomicon. Ex Mortis, the Book of the Dead. You've unleashed a cadarian demon. You're as dumb as that professor nobie. Oh, I love it. So whatever, man. They bring all the fucking cows back to the ranch. You have the great, great gobs of goose shit.

Yeah. Oh, you are paying Bill Willough game for that one, man. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And, like, yeah, the guys singing the fucking Bonanza theme song, which is equal parts nice and annoying. It's, it's boomer shit, dude, loving it. Of course. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. But it's, this little turn where it's like, because I think, like, Ben and Steve who've been outed for the movie are back. And they're like, you know, we'd like to ride these cows back to Arizona for you. And he's like, well, ain't going to happen there, boys. We sold them to the meat company. And I'm like, yeah. It's such, it's a bizarre deflating complication that doesn't mean anything. and it's not really

The only thing is that he saves Norman but it doesn't do anything for the movie It doesn't It just makes it so that the end It's all to service the joke of the end of the movie Billy Crystal puts a cow in a mini Yeah Because otherwise you could just do it the other way

Where he'd be like All right there dentist father and son Yeah that'd be all right We can do that and we'll take y'all up And Norman's gonna walk back with us too And then that part is like Billy Crystal Just has to say goodbye out of the cute little cat.

But they want to have a joke where Billy Crystal shoves a huge animal in a minivan. They're working backwards on that one. But you can't do that. Yes, exactly.

You can't do that anyway. It's like, I didn't want to let go in Norman. So I brought him with me. Bapara, buta. Well, at the end of the movie. I will say I like this version. That's true.

Steve, you're totally right. That's true. I like this version much better than their original version, which they cut and it's all black and white footage and Norman has a red jacket on that is all the sun's red out of nowhere for some reason.

on why? Billy Crystal saying you could have saved more cows I need I need their little

I need their little hooves that watch I left that other calf I could have saved so many more if I

had it holy fucking hell wow or the end of this movie should be like

you know Billy you know because Billy Crystal that's it they go to the

airport and Billy Crystal gets by his shit-eaten family, but they're all eating McDonald's and he starts throwing up. Oh, totally.

And it's just like, you get like real extreme close-ups of like Jake Gyllenhaal just chewing on a double cheeseburger. And he's like, ah, ha, ha, ha. That'd be cool if like his character grew or changed whatsoever, but that doesn't really happen.

Yeah. But, because it's like these specific cows, the cows I know I'm sad about, but any other cows, fuck them. it doesn't pay off in one way or another like if again if he comes out of vegetarian then that makes sense that they would do that moment you know what i mean like oh yeah right i'm never eating you know honey we're never having steak again like you know something like that would mean something but other than that then you're just sentencing these cows to deaths for no reason yes i mean bring you a special boy back one thing i'll give this movie is is is i guess it's trying to have a tether to reality yes we eat cows yes we have confrontations about in pregnant and cashiers at parties you know the real world

crashes into this yes well I think this reveals what Billy Crystal's whole promise so the end of the movie he brings he comes back he says they the people who survived this this herd get together and Billy Crystal's like

you know what Jack Poundst on me you know there's one thing and one thing you got to focus on in this world and it's my kids those pieces of shit I haven't talked about at all right That was the one thing he thought about while he was in the river trying to save a calf. It seems like you're thinking about the calf. Your own

life, maybe. Maybe your own life. Who knows? Maybe I'm crazy. I love my daughter because she's sweet. That boy creeps me right out. Creeps me right out. I mean, you look at them. It's a family photo last Christmas. Look at it. It's like a

live action cartoon character. It's disgusting. It's like nocturnal animals, but a child. I've justified it to myself as a buy one get one free type of thing because you know she's definitely worth it

but he's you know I could take her leave I can easily see my son creeping around car accidents taking pictures of stuff like a little velvet buzzsaw ew until we figure this out

we're putting in a bubble he's gonna be the bubble boy now okay uh quick question before we wrap this up because that's the end of the movie. Back on the ranch, when they're hanging out, they're back in, like, their city

slicker clothes, just talking about like what they're going to do and, like, Daniel Stern's starting over, and Bruno Kirby's going to go get Kim pregnant, whatever. Raw dog. Did anybody notice, is Daniel Stern drinking a cult 45 in that scene? I didn't see it. I wish I did.

He's got a tall something. Dude, if he did, he's earned it. Good for him. Honestly. Yeah, honestly, he's earned it. But what I think this cow thing proves is that what Billy Crystal needed, he needed to get a dog. Yes. This all

could have been averted if he had gotten a dog for the family. Yeah. That was because you bring home, first of all, you think you're going to help your marriage bringing home this cow? No. You think that's that... You think you're walking into a happy wife with this fucking cow and whatever, you're going

to have to feed this fucking thing on Roosevelt Island? Yes, he was to keep it in the dead, which little little rich guy here having a fucking damn. But yes, having the cow in the house, you could have just had a fucking dog, like a mangy, like Curly has a dog.

It helps them herd the fucking cattle. The dog is alone now. You take it home to your stupid kids. There you go. Well, you know, it's little Norman's doing great, but yeah, Jake Gyllenhaal died of parasites. I guess Norman just had them.

Damn shame. Damn shame. This ending is so full of twisted fucking shit. When they're at airport coming back, and Bruno Kirby's like, oh, next time the North Pole or whatever, it's like, ha-ha joke. And Billy Crystal's like, oh, okay, but next Tuesday, coffee

and cake. They're just getting together for coffee and cake. That's what people do. Yeah, just to chat. Here's the thing. That's what people do. You need up with your friends for coffee and cake? No, but I mean, I'd be it for coffee.

I certainly didn't get the invite for this coffee and cake. It's a thing that happens less, because we're much more connected through the texting. Sure, sure. No, coffee makes sense. I just thought the cake element was, was distracted. I'll tell you this. I'll tell you this. I've never

had cake with Steve Seda. I feel like I've never had cake out of the house unless it's like a real big to do. Chris, don't tell them about our cake dates. I fucking knew it. Fucking knew it. First, the trailer game

I was keeping my mouth. I want to be very clear about something. I was keeping my mouth. I wasn't talking about any cake dates And that was it I thought I was whispering And no one could hear me but Chris You're out of your mind You've been doing this for over 10 years Steve

Chris Kavin's cake dates I do want to point out Because we always point out Inaccuracy geographical stuff In New York City I will say if you Take to believe If you take to believe

That they flew into the Westchester County airport. They would indeed be driving that direction over the tri-borrow bridge into Astoria to go down what was that fucking 21st Street and turn onto Roosevelt Island. Yes. There is a little

bridge down there by 21st Street and like 36 or 5th or something. Yeah 36 Avenue because they don't let you drive fucking cars on there. It's all a parking well you can you can drive a car on there it's limited I think though isn't it or maybe permit or something? Maybe I don't really know.

It doesn't matter. Nobody cares about any of this. Chris, let's not talk about this at our next cake date. Let's talk about something else. So again, Roosevelt Island, great place, accessible by car subway, and this little fancy little gondola thing, which honestly is pretty fun. If you're ever in New York City, ride it there and then get right back on and go right back to Manhattan. Yeah, come here and get COVID on the Spider-Man people mover.

Steve, I'm going to see. say let's just move it to our pie night oh yeah that is no no that that's going to devastate me pie i'm a pie guy hi i just pie and coffee saturday night's all right for pie night all right so anyway man that is fucking city slickers go around the horn here any final thoughts and recommendations eric cisco oh um very i guess very light recommend towards a no there's definitely uh charm to this movie there's stuff going on. I think it's overlong. I don't really think it all necessarily comes together the way it should. So it's just a it's a it's a light recommend because the cast kind of carries it. There you go. Chris Cabin. This thing is janky as shit. No, absolutely do not watch this thing. It's just like a bunch. Like I said, it's just cobbled together. And the first 20 minutes are supposed to inform the rest of the movie. I'm I suppose. But they don't really, like, other than they're upset guys, they could be upset guys anyway.

I just kind of didn't connect with anything this time right. I remember a lot of the scenes, like verbatim. But I really don't understand all the baseball talk. Like, there's no real, like, insight to, like, what I have to change in my life or anything like that. And maybe I'm asking too much of the movie called City Slickers. But still, still, if you're going to bite off half of the Woody, Allen cookie. I want you to do the other half too. Oh, who's eating my cookies?

Soonie, are you in my cookies? So, after that, yes, a big no. Steve's saying. I'm closer to Eric on a light recommend, and I do think, because this cast top to bottom is so much fucking fun. You know what I mean? David Pamer, Josh Mistell, you know,

Tracy Walter, Jack Palin. It's just so much. And like, obviously, the three leads are a lot of fun to watch. together, even though it does get grating and it is jangly as fuck and you find me a 90 minute version of this movie or a 90 minute version of this episode, you're better off, but

I don't, you know, I just feel like this is, uh, there's 20 minutes that could have come off here. It's any, anywhere you wanted it to go. Yeah. Look, I'll just say first of all, the episode is so long because Eric is back from Top Pod. Yes, it's true. So we're just thrilled to have him back. I will say I'm going to recommend this movie

I know it's jankly as fuck and a lot of it's probably nostalgia but like yeah Bangor cast has a lot of good moments yes it's one of those movies where like it doesn't feel as much of a smooth story as it is just scenes kind of connected by stuff but like

there are some bits that just have stayed with me for fucking over 30 years now watching this movie I guess right crazy so yeah I don't know recommend whatever and fucking stay tuned for Legend of Curley's goal because that is some fucking dog shit city. That is going to do it for this edition of We Hate Movies.

If you want more movie and TV related shit chat gang, of course, head over to patreon.com slash we hate movies. We got a lot of shit going on, including Big Bad Obie Pod Canobi, us talking about the new Disney Plus Canobi program. What else? We just did the Talking Cat Commentary is out. That's right. Holy shit, that's really something. We've got Jurassic Park coming out this month. on as our We Love Movies episode,

a big boy on that one, which is so much fucking fun. Who we got for the Gleap Glossary this month there? Oh, the Gleap Glossary. Now, if you have listened to our George R. Binks episode on the Gleep Glossary, George R. Binks' father, you'll know that I hinted at this, Steve,

because you brought him up. The Luxur Droids guy, the Storm Trooper that says that, Davin Felfth. We'll be talking about Davenfelfth on the June edition of Gleep, glossary. And somehow that entry

is like what, 700 pages of this guy real robust life probably? Somehow it returned. Yes. No, it is it'll be fun. I don't think it's that long but there is a short story about this stormtrooper that said looks her droids in

one of the tales of books. I think it might be Mozisly. So enjoy folks. There we go. And of course, on the main feed the show will continue next Tuesday, a brand spanking new episode Steve, what's the chit chat about that?

We're going to Dog Shit City where I lost my gold. Sorry, I just love that idea so much. Dog shit city. No, but we are close to Dog Shit City because we're going to the expendables too. Look at that. Oh, yeah. Expendables too. You got

JCVD is the bad guy. I think honestly, I mean, I'm not crazy about those movies. It might be my favorite expendables movies. And of course, Of course, by the way, we don't talk about this a lot on the air. It's always in the Big Daddy Dispatch and whatnot. But be sure to check out the We Hate Movies merch store. You head over to WHModcast.com.

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Let's get those numbers up, folks. That's right, gang. So until next week with the expendables to, I'm Andrew Jupert. Steve didn't say that. Eric, Cisca. Chris Cabin. Take it easy. That was a hate gum podcast.