We Hate Movies - S12 Ep622: American Pie

Episode Date: July 19, 2022

On this episode, the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza goes back to the turn of the century as the guys chat about the big box comedy that kickstarted the Y2K-era boob comedy boom, American Pie! How horrendous is all the 1998 clothing here? Did everyone always recognize how obnoxious Kevin is as a character? And whatever happened to the other MILF guy? PLUS: The Queen becomes roomies with John Wayne in Hell!  Be sure to catch our VIRTUAL LIVE SHOW where we're talking about Ghostbusters: Afterlife and doing a night-of virtual Q&A, on Friday, July 29th! Click here for tickets. American Pie stars Jason Biggs, Chris Klein, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Tara Reid, Shannon Elizabeth, Alyson Hannigan, Sean William Scott, Mena Suvari, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Natasha Lyonne, John Cho, and Jennifer Coolidge as Stifler's Mom; directed by Paul & Chris Weitz. Check out the WHM Merch Store -- featuring new Seagal Sucks, MINGO!, WHAT IF Donna?, Mortal Kombat & Bean Dinner designs! Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm    Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the program, mothers, lock up your bake goods because we're talking American pie. I'm Andrew Jupin. Harry armed Stephen Sadek. Eric Sisker. Shiprick! And we hate movies. Hello everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in as always. That's right. We're talking about a movie. I don't think any of us had seen in a really long time. This is American Pie, y'all from 1999, directed by Paul White's. with the shadow of Chris Whites

is in there uncredited you uncredit that brother did you go to court to take him off which one of them continued directing movies Paul did

Chris I was looking at up is doing script punchups he's involved in Disney's Pinocchio that's coming out late this year so no one is crying for money but Paul is the one that makes movies Chris has also been making some movies Operation Finale

A Better Life Twilight's Saga, New Moon, Golden Compass. Oh, Chris was the one that went to do those movies. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Paul White's, didn't he direct that Scarlett Johansson movie where she made fun of purchase?

In good company? Yeah. He did that. American Dreams, Little Fockers, Bean, Flynn. Oh, man. A little Fischer's grandma. He's involved in Mozart in the jungle, if you could believe it. Oh, yeah. Your parents are watching that on Amazon.

Like sands through the hourglass. So is Mozart in the jungle. You should see Malcolm McDowell in this show. He's phenomenal, Stephen. Yeah, he fucks a papaya. Speaking of fucking, man, I mean, this movie starts off with, what a total flashback, scrambled pornography. Oh, yeah. Speaking of scrambled pornography, let me just hit play really quickly here.

Oh, man. Coming soon to be. It's the VHS trailer game, you lucky sons and bitches. Right. Favorite game about obsolete materials. I am your Jemaster, Stephen Sadek, and these are my clues. Yes, we should mention real quick, Steve, that the updated rankings, I believe Andrew's in the lead, he was awarded 58 big points, the last game. You know, I've been quiet about that because it annoyed me so much.

It annoyed me so much. the farce that you boys put on on the Expendables 2 episode I almost I almost quit You know what I listen I got a report That there you know You could look at all the cell phone signals

And you knew Where the VHS tapes were getting dropped off And we knew that you were fucking clogging Chris's mailbox Because your cell phone drove past his house That's true times Yep That's impossible because my cell phone

Like me can't drive Oh my god Steve was that your phone driving a car If my phone could drive my wife Would like me more At least one of us could Yeah Jen is in on it

Yeah she is No so that was bullshit That no one could even possibly care about Well I mean it was the same premise Yeah exactly But it was the preview game I'm not of course Hosted by your piece of shit Chris Cabin

I think of anything So we are rounding into the finale here of the VHS trailer game. Kind of exciting. Kind of exciting folks. We've got this episode and then in August we're going to release Robocop 3 which will have the big finale on there and that's going to have some that's going to be a bigger, a bigger trailer game.

A jame, I should say. I apologize. Oh yeah, I didn't know what you were talking about for a second. Well, excuse me. So the rank, the actual true real for honest to goodness scores right now are Andrew in last place with 40 points asterisk Eric in the middle with 46 points

and Chris Cabin piece of shit of extraordinary with 54 big piece of shit points because that was all your idea and I could smell it so you know what I mean it seems like Chris now I'm going to jump ship and go to your side it seems like this Chris guy took over your game maybe you can help some other people out now

that game seems more fun no fuck you too it was certainly easier I'll say that because no one has the fucking passion for it. I'm slave over these questions. I'm not spending three hours of my company time doing this. I think my favorite thing

of the preview game just really quickly was when Eric's clue to Chris was a bunch of clerks working at a store which I literally looked around the studio and saw you know Kevin Smith thing, and that's how it came. So I was doing the whole like, you know, the Kaiser Sozai.

Yeah, I love it. I love it. So, yeah, so this is going to be the second, the penultimate VHS trailer game for the season, season 12. The legends. Eric, are you watching Master Chef these days? Yes, I actually am. And it's funny because they just act like that season of legends never happened. Oh, no. I guess some legends do die. Now it's like, yoke, everyone's coming back.

Who's going to win? this one. The season of legends to the season of losers. It is. Did Ryan Johnson direct legends? Is that why they're just

let's just wipe it off the map? We're just going to forget about it entirely. All right. So here we go. Round one. Game Masters clue. A live action adaptation of a cartoon led by a big hunk who had already

done a live action cartoon. This time he's an inept lawman. One more time, a live action adaptation of a cartoon led by a big hunk who had already done a live action cartoon. This time is the next to the lawman, Chris Cabin? That's a Dudley-Doo-Right. That is Dudley-Duright, five big points. I was going to guess ants.

That's not live action. That's what's good for me. Woody Allen is a lawman, a hell of a hell of a picture there. Yeah, it right there. Where are you going? I'm a school crossing guard. Hey, slow it down. You always have the green light with me.

Man, I really forgot Dudley Durek, man. I forgot that even existed. And if I did remember it, I would have thought it was like 94. If you hadn't said the law man, I would have definitely guessed Tarzan. I would have mixed it up. or George's Jungle that's what it was. What the fuck was that obsession though? Because there was that movie

and then we had the fucking Rocky and Bullwinkle movie. Which of those was successful? I mean I guess George of the Jungle made money. Was that how that worked? That seems like it did make money. Yeah. But that was like, yeah, I guess that was what, 97 or something? Yeah. That sounds right. It was two years earlier. Okay. Yeah. Yikes. Round

two. There's four of these fuckers. These were all on the tape by the way. Sorry, these were all on the tape. These were Yes, at least from the YouTube clip that I pulled them from. Excellent. And Chris, you enjoy that YouTube link as well? Chris subscribes to the channel. Oh, is it all on one channel?

Good. Game Master's Clue! Shut up! A direct video sequel of a buddy cop comedy released a decade after the original with a title that would become very unfortunate two years later. Oh, A direct-to-video sequel of a buddy comedy released a decade after the original

with a title that would become very unfortunate. So the title is something like World Trade Center still standing. Yep, very unfortunate. Two years later. Sure. Do the math, 99, plus two years. Direct to DVD. Video sequel of a buddy cop comedy.

Buddy cop comedy. Released a decade after the original with a title that would become very unfortunate it two years later. We're going to move on to the next bit of trivia here. And that's going to help because I didn't do IMDB trivia because it was like dog shit because this movie is so obscure.

Steve trivia released as episode 83 of the We Hate Movies podcast. Previous episode of Andrew Juppin. Ah, now I got you where I want you VHS trailer game. This is indeed K-9-1-1. Yes, it is. K-9-11,

everybody. 9.11. Nice. So the World Trade Center was right. It was. You were very close. You were scratching at the door like a dog. Like a dog. Oh yeah. I forgot about that. Uh, round three. Anymore. The only thing I remember about that K911 episode is the a lot of red rocket conversation. Yeah, big dick. Oh, yeah, totally. That's the one where there's like a fucking mass shooting in a park, right? probably with like a guy no he's no I'm serious he's wearing like insane body armor oh right yes is that that one I think we're ripping off lethal weapon four or you know whatever the lethal weapon body armor won that's like I could do that too yeah that's for

yeah game masters clue two comedy heavyweets teamed up for the first time in a Hollywood satire that involved a geeky body double Chris Cabin that is both finger. Wow. Bo Finger. Oh, fuck. Yeah. That's right. God damn it. The fucking best movie. It's so good. It's been forever. I kind of wanted to rewatch it. Just like going through the stuff this morning. It holds up so, so well. We should do a WLM on some point. It's so goddamn good that movie. I saw that in the theater. And that was the last time I saw it. I remember not being or thrilled with it. Maybe just nonplus. But I guess I have to go back and watch my bow finger. It's one of those beautiful things where you're like, oh my God, Robert Downey Jr. in the supporting. roll. And he could just knock it out nice and quick. And great Terrence stamp. Oh, yeah. God, I remember nothing about that movie. I think I seen both finger one time. He's doing a fake

Scientology thing. Yep. It's so good. God damn. I love that movie. Okay, here we go. Last one. Then we can talk about the pie fucking. Thank God. Game Masters Clue. Start to lose my erection. Very, well, I'm sorry about that. A very late 90s adaptation of a classic horror novel.

after watching this one you might want to stare clear of the fireplace Eric Ziska The Haunting That is previous episode the haunting Andrew was right after Eric With that right that was That huge

Remember that fucking huge Walkin fireplace that movie has? Yes it's just You could burn Whole villages in that fireplace It's huge That's why we got it Okay so updated scores

Andrew's got 44, Eric has got 51, and Chris's got 59. There's going to be some double point of this opportunities next time around. Chris Cabin is not running away with this because I'm really going to do my best that we don't have to watch Nothing But Trouble, but it sounds like we're going to. Oh, my Lord. I forgot about that. Yeah, that's Hell yeah. And another cam, and we're not to do another cameo.

The winner gets that, but if Chris gets a double victory because he won last time, he gets to choose nothing but trouble. Oh, hell yeah. Wow. It's going to be exciting, folks. It's a scrambling pornography I'm very familiar with. But here's the thing. Did you ever speak to the scrambled pornography? No, I never thought I was dirty talking the lady on the, you know.

What if it's, let's say you're in a poltergeist situation. Sure. There's porno that wants to touch you back through the television. This should happen. If the videodrome hand had come out through the TV and started stroking me, I'd be all for talking. Oh, no, child. This little boy's getting jerked off. TV. He's only 17 and a half years old. Oh, no, child, you got some inappropriate horny ghosts in your TV.

I believe that's Deborah Harry in there. Oh, please TV. That would be fine. It's, yeah, the talking back is a very, I've never talked back to pornography period. You know, it's just sort of like, like, what is the point? Who is it for? Well, you know, not, not talking back, but I could see yelling and obviously grunts. Mones, I get that. You know, Chris, when you get into your really heavy session and you start like, you just lose yourself.

Yeah, yeah. Chris would black out. You'd lose all sense of time and place. Well, that's because there was a belt around his neck. Yeah, and then Eric would have to come in and slap me awake, put the salts under my nose. I would come in and spray and then it'll wake you up.

Some people, some people suffer from sleep paralysis, but Chris cabin suffers from jerk paralysis where he will just go to a fucking fugue state dude and good luck get them out. Look, sometimes when we were living together and you were doing one of your big sessions and then you just

you like came to and you were standing in the bank. Oh, I remember because the Flubber DVD came on again before I left. Yeah, you were like Rift-Tor and just like showing up places with your dementia. I thought this was a bathroom. Sorry,

I'm come drunk. Yeah, I mean, RipTorne really is my inspiration whenever I am grunting at the pornography. It's because he has a good timber for it. I clicked on brazers and all of a sudden here I am at the bag jack it off. Again. I'm trying to pick up a pound note. Look. Look, we're losing a lot of legends.

So I have to replace Riptorn in the few states. So his mom catches him jerking off. and yeah I mean it's a comedy and I understand that there's going to be comedic misunderstandings and people are going to do silly things for the sake of making the bit happen but hey like you got to wait

for everyone to go to sleep you really got to be like going around depending on where your parents' bedroom is you just got to be look at that light go out even from the crack under the door and then maybe you're like maybe I'll put on some quiet pornography and not talk

about it also just he's sitting on the the bed like just i don't know man use those blankets that's why they're there blankets you got to have your last channel button ready to go oh yeah you're ready to go to flip back to the weather channel or ESPN immediately but look at this we we're we're we're seasoned pros we've had a whole life of developing these killer instincts yeah the craziest thing in this movie though is there's so many times where there's like just middle of the day shenanigans like that because in this cold open, it's clearly just the afternoon. When he does the whole

thing with Shannon Elizabeth, that's just the afternoon. When Thomasie and Nicholas is fucking going down on Terra, what's her face, that's just the middle of the afternoon. The fucking parents are downstairs. It's like, does no one sneak out at night in this movie? I don't understand this. And have you ever heard of jerk it off in the

shower, aka the perfect crime? You know what I mean? It's just you and the Lord in there, man. There's a lock on that door that everybody respects. you know your room the lock might not be respected they might go and get a key but the bathroom door they're not gonna they don't want to see whatever that's true because you can just say like hey my dad I got ass problems in yeah you don't want to see this shit please no I'm taking a shit I'm taking a shit mm-hmm really stinky but like I love how she starts yelling about illegal channels I love that like it's what would that even be snuff films like what who's broadcasting this I guess it's a video drum signal well it's was a thing where they had like the black box and he's stealing cable, then sure, that's an illegal channel. But it's scrambled, it's scrambled pornography, ladies and gentlemen, which

for folks at home, before the internet, that's what a lot of us had to go on. It was between the late 90s, it was either the Playboy channel or Spice. RIPD Spice TV. Spice. I'll tell you, man, you know, a lot of great people lost their jobs when that network folded. Great people. Yeah, why not? See some professionals. Real legends of our adolescents. But where are we to go now? I'm sorry.

The dream is dead. I'm sorry, you're going to have to pack up and go to the internet. But we don't know how to get there. It's just like a caravan of people starve in the desert because they couldn't figure out how to get into the internet porn business. Making pornography in a camp and then like playing the harmonica afterwards. It's like nightmare alley. Everyone's just eating breakfast together.

It's the Spike TV players. Well, we might as well go Do a three-way again, Mother. Oh, I believe the three-way girls Are halfway to Abilene by now. Every time there's a cum shot, I'll be there. Every time that someone is trying to piss on somebody else for pleasure, I'll be there.

Anytime that there is a new inmate in a female prison. Oh, I'll be there. now son can you take a load right in the face mr i was born for it this delightful i love the fucking the dude porn star in the tape when the mom is standing there you just hear well then so Eugene Levy walks in

and he's like trying to make excuses for the kid and then he's like oh it's just some you know show or whatever. And you hear the guy go, oh, spank my hairy ass. And there's a great Eugene Levy reacts so perfectly here. It's the second the guy is done saying that he just does a quick what? Yeah. MVP right here. Yeah, exactly. I mean, honestly, this scene, I was laughing a bit at this scene and throughout the movie a little bit. But I think Eugene Levy is definitely the MVP. Eugene Levy and Natasha Leone are the two that really stuck out. playing a high school girl

who has like the soul of a 45 year old woman in her body yeah phenomenal she's like the old pro given all these kids advice but she's also just their age maybe there's like a freaky Friday happening with her on the periphery

with Jim's mom yeah so what thing about this scene is that once my mother enters the room called on a counter rain where uh you know this isn't happening tonight. Maybe tomorrow morning, we'll try again. But this

is just not happening. I'm sorry. Your mother coming in and kissing you. You're saying that would not increase your bonus. I'm not sure if I would be able to get it up again for a week. I think we're looking at a week of no jerkin. Because she is kissing him while he has a full erection.

Horrible. And he's got the sock going. The sock I've never. The sock to me was always an afterthought. The sock might be there for, you know, to get rid of some stuff. But Like, I'm not using the sock. I mean, I know. Time 100 tradition, people jizzing in socks.

I never got it because you're just coming up the laundry now. Exactly. Now you're just full come. Well, but also to be, that's like you're pre-planning way too much. Like, this is all too much process. You deal with it afterwards. But again, yes, just napkins and fucking paper towels, fucking anything. Humping the sock.

Like, what does that do for the fantasy? What are you fucking a mug? like what what what are you imagining well he's into he's into cartoons he wants to fuck uh ariel the mermaid yes that's a little weird drop line that is in here because now this is a precursor kids today if you're younger than us listening to this right now which you probably are this is what you would you know anime that's what you jerked off to and still do constantly you beat it raw to it And this is this, you know, the start, 99 adult swam. We start getting a lot more of that in America.

And the cartoons get hornier and hornier. But for the time being, this young man had to jerk off to the little mermaid. Well, this is also the age of the internet springing, oh, here's Ariel sucking the Seagull's dick. Oh, yeah, sure. Just like this and like that just. Chris, you got a link for that? I don't know, I'm dropping it in the chat. I do want to get to, because I said, Harry Armed Steve Sadek,

it's Eugene, and Eugene Levy's always been an incredibly hairy man. Again, MVP of this movie, but it's because he's being nerdy dad, he's got the Sipowitz shirt throughout this whole movie, and you can see everything. Wait, I thought you said Harry and Arm, Stephen Seneck, because you grew hair on your palms from jacket too much. No, see, that's why I wanted to clarify. It's about Eugene Levy's incredibly hairy body.

Yeah, you definitely don't want the audience at home thinking that you jerk off too much, Steve. That would be, that would change everyone's opinion of me. I'm going to say heavy arm arm hair, alpha move. I think that's a masculine thing. Oh yeah. But it's also coming down to the knuckles, you know.

I mean, eventually you start looking like, like you're in the grocery store and someone's like, Mr. Levinson, uh, are you turning into a werewolf? Yes, get away from me. I, the thing about the last thing about the sock. So, like, when the mom comes in, he puts a pillow over himself, right?

And so that the blackout line of the scene is she pulls the pillow and they see his fucking besocked cock, right? Yep. Yeah. It's stunning. And Chris, I think you were sort of starting to allude to this, but, like, it's stunning that after all these shenanigans have gone down, this kid is still hard? Yeah, no, thanks. Like, he still got an erection. Of course.

And I was like, oh, my God. No, no, no. that would be it would be inside me it would be done like a fucking frightened turtle dude yep close for business young growing boy you know he's probably hard all of the time

oh yeah and I mean the therapist he'll be talking to in about 10 years we'll have a lot to say about all of this oh yeah so you know we meet this rather large cast of characters here Jim of course Jason Biggs Oz played by Chris Klein

Heather Mina Suvari Kevin Thomasian Nicholas Right Vicky that's a Tara What's her name? Tara Reid Tara Reid there we go

I kept on to say Tara Lipinski And I'm like She was an ice skater Not the same person Fucking Finch A.k.a. shitbreak Eddie K. Thomas And fucking Steve Stiffler himself

Sean William Scott This character I hate to admit it He was still making me laugh a little bit Sean William Scott I think is very funny that's just my genuine feeling is I don't know this character isn't great but he's very funny I think

quick around the horn because I didn't do it earlier because I had to do my stupid board game what was everybody's experience with this movie like what did you live it did you love it was your you know we're all around the same right age for a 1999 boy centric

boob comedy I'm just curious where everybody was was with this guy it wasn't in theaters for me it was a sneak in situation Or was it a sneak-in situation? You were probably too young to get in. Yeah. And yeah, no, I remember being all about it.

I bought the fucking DVD when it came out. I've seen this movie a lot. And again, it was another, this is happening a lot with movies that were covering around like 99 into like 05 or something. Like, I saw it like a thousand times on DVD when I had it. And I couldn't, until this morning,

I couldn't have told you the last time I've seen this movie. although I will say I saw all four of the main franchise movies in theaters as well I have done that wait I didn't even remember I don't think I ever saw American reunion I think that I did not see that was in one ear out the other movie

for me I couldn't tell you what the fuck they're doing other than having a high school reunion right yeah I don't remember that either I saw this my dad brought my friend Richie my friend Eric and me into this with a six-pack with it not not just one people to know

no different different Eric although his last thing also started with an ass but my dad brought in a sixer of Bex wow yeah because he for himself for you guys

for himself because he very obviously did not want to see this movie he drove home afterwards he did finish the sixer he got through like two so I trust him on two but yeah, I remember

laughing my ass off in the theaters. I remember my dad spitting up the beer at one point. Oh, so he got into it, huh? Yeah, at one point he really thought the pie fucking was very funny. Well, he's got a fucking heartbeat.

Of course he did. I don't know if he had seen the trailer. So I really think it did like take him by surprise. That's wonderful. But yeah, and I also bought this on DVD and watched it a couple. the thing about DVD is you just

I didn't do this with videotapes because I thought you would break the tape but like DVDs really is when I started just throwing on movies to have in the background like I would channel surf to find movies before that but like once I had DVDs I thought like oh these things are never going to fucking wear out

so I just keep on doing DVD so for me I saw this in the theater and I definitely saw it a few times on cable I never owned it I did see I think I saw two and wedding in the theater. But then I, you know,

I haven't thought or seen hide nor hair of Jim and his dick till to that. Yeah, I never wasn't in this movie. It just was always, it was always my corner. I was on for whatever reason. I didn't see it in theaters. So maybe a theater audience would have probably helped me get into it. You were jealous of everyone.

I was. I was so jealous of everyone. But yeah, like all these, I don't know, just these squeak. I always found the cast, especially the four lead boys, really disagreeable to me. And it never worked for me for that reason. I think you're right.

Yeah, there's a funny stuff. I remember laughing at some of the stuff, but I was never like super into this, and especially as the sequels, and Kevin and his, tonight's going to last forever, guys. This is going to be it, dudes. We're never going to have this good gentleman

over and over that nonsense that he's full. I was like, dude, I'm fucking out I'm fucking out. It's stunning that anyone is friends with Kevin. Thank Kevin fucking sucks, dude. And it's kind of funny because I always found all of the girl characters way more

interesting than the guy characters except for Finch. Finch was my guy because that guy humiliated due to like shit reasons was into pretentious coffee, you know, one of the, he was the quote unquote sophisticated kid in the sense

that he had, you know, he was into booze and they, like, beer, like that sort of shit. And I was like, all right, you're like the fucking nerd outlier guy, Finch. I'm all right with you. But fucking Jason Biggs. I'll tell you right now, the thing about Jason Biggs. I watched this on Peacock. I never noticed this before with this movie.

And it doesn't happen with any of the other actors. So, like, you know, the production was on top of it, mostly. The makeup department is what I'm getting at here. He is fucking sweating through this whole movie. Like, not when he's not supposed to be. Like, when they're casually at the little hot dog

joint that they hang out at in the movie he's just pouring buckets like he's getting interrogated. I kind of like that as a touch. I think that's kind of like... It's an accidental touch because he's nervous all the time. I mean I don't know why they would just be like yeah sweat in every scene unless it was

like a pointed choice. Like he is sweaty the whole movie and it gives that like really gross like that's like the one R crumbesque like actual perversion like thing about it. Like I'm like oh he's gross. Like, he's actually kind of gross. Because if you

if your balls aren't properly drained you start sweating it out. Yes, exactly. It's just this little thin sweat mixed with calm coming through your pores. If you do not get those balls drained. It's interesting you bring that up, Eric, because this had to, this

and the second one, both are linked directly with Blink 182 albums. Yes. This one has mud from Animal of the State. And the, Enum of State came out a month before this, I think, like literally just tie, like right there. They come out at the same time, both hits. America Pie 2 comes out a little bit before take off your pants and jacket.

Yes. And there are, I think the reason people always ask why there had to be so many of these stupid movies. I think you have to make an America Pie for every Blink 1A2 record. I think it is a rule. I think it's somewhere out there that they have to be linked forever. There are nine American Pie movies. and there are nine Blink 182 records. Wow. Oh, interesting.

Did you do, did you go down the rabbit hole? Is there one in every single one? Is there some secret code? I will say this. Of the main cat, ignore the presents gang. I will. The four main ones all come out within a year of a Blink 182 record. Oh, that's fucking weird.

Because, yeah, because wedding was 2012 in their movie, their record neighborhoods, came out in 2011. Yeah, that is fucking weird. You got a real Pepe Sivio thing going on here, dude. If they come back for 2019, what happens to 2020? The fucking thing comes back again. That's right.

Girls rule. Yes, you're totally right, dude. Holy shit. It has to happen. It has to happen. It's all adding up. Alexis is collecting this. The second movie over the universal logo is their song, Roller Coaster.

The thing that's fucking hilarious, though, speaking of Blinkway 2, I'll just throw it out now. they are in this movie in that fucking just disastrous web stream scene where that dude Jim I would never go back to that high school but we'll get there

but so Blake Way 2 is part of that they're watching them and it is clearly Mark Hoppus Tom DeLong and Travis Barker when you get to the cast credit list at the end of the movie they credit not Travis Barker

but the old drummer Scott Rayner who had left the band by that point how is not dude and it's he Travis Barker got fuck twice by these credits because then at the end of it, when they credit it's the song credit for Mutt

that plays in this movie they fucking, it is Travis Barker, but they spelled his last name wrong. Just did that dude dirty. I couldn't believe it. But yeah, Scott Rainer in the credits under, they're credited as garage band, which is funny, but yeah, no Travis Barker acting

credit, kind of funny. Terrible. So they're, you know, we're in school and, you know, we meet everybody. Chris Klein is a Quote unquote, lovable oaf, I guess. Is what was going on with him? They really do him a little. I mean, they give him the word, like the intro is like, yeah, man, legal channels.

All women's channels should be legal channels. You know, there's this Reddit page I want to show you after we're done here. It's a new kind of thing. Yeah, this joke is like, yeah, like the Lifetime Network for Medistration or whatever. Yeah, you got to fucking lock those girls up, man. watching the fucking wrong babysitter. I'm going to go play lacrosse. You should have kept on jerking, man.

You should have just kept on jerking while your mother was there. He started yelling at the pornography. That's actually a power move, right? You just make total eye contact and just get to town on yourself. I'm jerking off. What do you want? I guess the idea is like, oh, when he turned sensitive at the end, it'll be really even more interesting, but it's not.

It's a big script arc is what that is. I don't know, man. I just, I've never liked Chris Klein's work. I'll be completely honest with you folks. He seems kind of like he's got, no, I'm not trying to, this is not like, I'm not trying to be too disparaging, but like a, like a simple energy, like a man child energy.

And I feel like that carries over into his other films too. Election does, he knows what he's to do with that because he's, he plays a big dumb oaf and like they use that. Like he's a sweet dumb oaf and like, you know, he's really nice to his sister and like a sister hates his guts. And like, for him in that movie and this one

not so much. No. Well, that's what's like kind of unfortunate about this movie is like really amp up that these guys are scumbags. Like they're little high school perverts and like that's the thing. Like don't try to make them charming. Like high school boys are not charming. High school boys are scumbags. They're horny

scumbags. You're redeemable trash. Lean into that shit. That's the problem is that they have to be the way that they write them they have to be kind of like adults too. like that that's the only way you get like a moral out of it and I'm like no no no no but that's less funny yeah but that's less less funny doing the coming of age thing and I guess of coming of age I guess um but it's surprising and maybe it's a good thing maybe it's a bad thing you'd think

that Oz's character arc of like learning like hey sex competition with my friends is stupid I'm falling in love with this girl seems like the protagonist's story arc but it's you're right because we focus on Jim because Jim is funnier and Jim has a funny dad and like that makes more sense but yeah like you're right because Oz has this like very like sweet story but it's like I don't know I don't care and then also Kevin you would also kind of think would be the lead because he's got the girlfriend and he wants to have sex with her and like we follow his girlfriend she has seen this without anybody else you know what I mean that's right yeah that would also make him sort of lead but again we go back to that Jason Biggs can had it back in the day. Yeah, I guess it's very much an ensemble, but at the same time, yeah, we're very focused on Jim, but I think now I'm realizing why is to have the kids in the audience identify

with someone, you're a fucking piece of shit loser. You're going to fucking fuck shit in your kitchen. One thing watching this movie, one, because I never liked any of the boys, and it was like sort of in the Milf guys scene, I was like, why aren't they part

of the crew? Like, they're funny enough. Like, you know what I mean? Like, why not just, why aren't we hanging out with the milf guys because they're just as likable as these four if not more. Because you got John Cho in the action. Yeah, John Cho, you know, he's just kind of kissing that picture of Stifler's mom.

Like, that's not too bad. I mean, the funny thing is I was actually thinking about it because they're credited as milf guys and one is fucking John Cho. Yes. What? I didn't look it up, but what do you think happened to the other milf guy? I mean, he's at Comic-Con as other

milf guy. I think you're right. I think he's just yelling. It's like you're getting a little, a little like TikTok of him yelling milf with you. But then you got, you got to pay him $50. Don't go to his, don't go to his TikTok channel, by the way. It's, it's a dark place. You don't want to see what's going on there now. This is interesting. I just pulled up his IMDB. He's basically done nothing besides these movies, but they bring him back for every one of them. Oh, yeah. Him and John Cho, I think, both keep coming back. He eventually gets the name Justin in American Pie. two and American wedding

and then by the time American reunion comes around they forgot his name was Justin he's back to Milf guy number one Oh John Cho must have been devastated because that makes you Milfkeye number two sadly Yeah Stephen Tomalowski would tell you all about the problems with that The other thing about the dudes and I was like

Whose clothes are supposed to be good Like is anyone supposed to be a good flashy dresser? Because they were making this movie in 1998 dude and everyone looked like shit. Everybody. All of these shirts are repulsive. They're all repulsive but Chris Klein is like so like jacked and like actually looks

like at Adonis that anything kind of worked for him. He fits in his costume like the most. Yes. Jason Biggs I think looks the absolute worst. And like they have Eddie K. Thomas they kind of dress him a little older because that's part of like what goes along with

the Finch character like a little bit. Like he's dressed like he could be a protagonist antagonist in singles or something. Yes. The jacket was working for me. I could buy a jacket, you know. Yeah. I mean, Thomas Ian Nickle, the look is, I have to say it greasy.

Every time, every time I look at him, I'm like greasy. This guy is. Physically or like a sleaze ball? Sleas ball. Like it's all very sleazy. They, they wanted, speaking of, because he, Thomas Ian Nichols, of course, rookie of the year at a King and Kin Arthur's Court. And most recently seen

Bulk buying a book to get it on the New York Times bestseller Lost. Did he do that for instance? Because he was, I don't remember the details this was several years ago. He was trying to adapt some book or was doing that or something like that. And

he got caught like mass buying the book so that it would go up so he could say like New York Times bestseller or whatever. I don't know what happened to it after that but it was just like a real like oh, that's embarrassing. That's true. He belongs in jail.

That's a fraud perpetrated on the American people. For Jim, they wanted JTT Jonathan Taylor Thomas, but he passed. Oh, dude, he's kicking his own ass every day. That would have been, I mean, that's, that would have been the move to shake off his sitcom, Awshuck's kid shit. Would not have worked. No. Under no circumstances with that.

Because now every girl's going to the movie as well. Well, I mean, I guess, I guess the good point there. At that point, is he still, is he still that hot in the 99? I don't know. Well, that fucking tool, that tool time was still on the air. Sure, but like, I mean, we're all, we're already, we're, we're well into DiCaprio era now. We're like, things have stopped for JTTT, I think. You could, you can be, you can be horny for more than one.

Sure. I understand that, but you're also, you're changing the entire, like, dynamic of the, like, what's funny about the way like he plays Jim in the movie is that he is gross and that he is kind of like inept and like you would never have JTT like that

ever because he's got to oh man I'm getting I'm getting the last word on everybody yeah you have to like it's just not happening like he would have to be a Ostride the little goblin Pinocchio oh yeah he would have to be the Oz character

but then at the same time he's not athletically built to be a lacrosse player and he's not as high as Klein. I'm sorry. It's just not a little simple. But you are right, though, because he is too attractive to play gym. I mean, that's why, like, Jason Biggs, it's kind of the, like, I'm not saying the dude's ugly or anything, but he's just like,

he's a guy. Yeah, he's just your average Joe, whatever, is indeed sweating in every scene. Oof, that face. Oie. Whatever, I mean, there's the first big, like, Stifler has a house party. There's two, the movie's sort of bookended by Big Stifler

parties is the idea. So this is the first one just, I guess a casual weekend party is the idea. I'm always like, is he their friend or is he not their friend? I guess they just kind of use him because he does have like money, it seems. Well, that's the joke they kind of make at the end of the movie. They're like, oh, well, we got to go to the lake party after prom. Like, why else do we stay friends with Stifler this whole time? Oh, right.

To secure the invite. But then it's kind of, like, it's ridiculous because then there's just a huge party bus that takes what appears to be almost the entire school of this fucking house or whatever. well yeah like he he's friends with the two of he's better friends with the two of the more unlikable of the four like chris klein yes and thomasia nichols like they they have the inn with stifler and then i guess yeah jim and and finch seemed to just be like yeah you can make fun of us i guess yeah that's fine yeah everyone you know you get you have your tertiary punching bag friends back in high school a person who can only communicate i've been there

But they scheme before the party Because they meet it like their little hot dog hut hangout place And they're talking about getting laid and yada yada And it's like let's make a pact We are going to lose our virginity ladies and gentlemen Before prom night No that's after the party because that's after Sherman walks away with the boner and like all that's Oh you're you're totally right you're totally right yeah so they do have the huge party though

this is the bit like the fucking come and the cup scene is in this part of the movie that was I remember when that happened in this movie and just sitting in the theater being like oh my they're showing they're showing what in this movie that's that's cloudy that's awfully cloudy that drink I don't know they they you know they tried to leap over something about Mary you know not come on an ear coming a cup now my friends yep that's right but you don't absolutely You don't even see the come go in. Well, I mean, come on.

Come on. Nine songs. Get the Michael Winterbottom to do this. Man, the start of the party scene, there are two separate needle drops for this one. Bare naked ladies one week. Look out below. That'll get the party started.

So one thing we do have to bring up is before this, Kevin and Tara Reid have had a discussion in a car where she is going to accepted to college, I guess, at Cornell. Right. Yeah, one of the Middle East is going to Cornell. And he's going to U of M. And she says, I love you. And he just can't do it.

And I'm like, oh, boy. And I'm like, look, at the time I was like, as a kid, I was like, what are you fucking stupid? Like, I just remember very clearly in my head, be like, what are you, what? What? I'm 16-year-old being looking at Terry. I would say I love you and I will never love anyone else

at 16 to get whatever this is going towards. But he's a little sleazy Thomasian Nichols that he's got a big heart, Chris. I think it's Nickliss, by the way. Okay. Don't want to be getting no tweets from him. Sure. You said my name

wrong by making fun of me for two hours. Yeah, go read a book or buy one. Now, is it him being like, I'm honest, you know, maybe I haven't gotten quite to love yet. Is that what this is? Or is he like, let's see what other chicks

wind up near me? I think what it is. I think it's the first one because what I think Chris, maybe you mentioned this already, but like they kind of have to write them like adults. And that's a weird moment of that. You're right. Like an 18 year old kid

would just be like, yeah, okay, I love you too, high school girlfriend, whatever. But he's like, they write this whole and he gives Tara Reid this kind of like flowery speech later he's like when I say it I want the moment to be right and this is that the other thing and I'm like

fuck you dude you look like this dude in 1999 like you are saying whatever it will take to fuck this girl come on exactly and like it makes more her her reasoning of like she talks to Natasha Leon at the party is like I want it to be special I wanted to be at a time when I want

to do it which is completely reasonable and something like you hear in high school for sure as compared to I can't say I love you I don't know if it's real or not Well that's the weird part Exactly

Again about the girl scenes Which I'll call the girl scenes Because it's just her It's Terry and Natasha Leon Like they play so much more real Because like you know It's true What you recall

She's Terry's really Really nervous about sex And Natasha Leon's very worldly And she's just like You know it's not the fucking Space Launch dude Like it's just gonna happen You know what I mean

And she has some great lines But I mean like Her anxiety versus her sort of worldliness actually plays a lot better than like, I don't know, what would the dude's portion? Right. No, I think you're totally right. They do, you know, Tashelione's character of Jessica is that worldly person that the boys don't have in their group.

It almost feels like they should be talking to the lunch lady or something like. Because they know so much. That's what I was saying earlier. Like she has the soul of like a 45 year old woman in her body. Eric, we're not going to get to that quite yet. but what you're talking about is you want more scenes with Casey Affleck's character. You know what? Actually, you're right.

Yeah, I kind of do. Because his whole scene is just like the inheriting of the Conalingas Bible. But like, it would be interesting if there was a little more there there. Maybe it's around a holiday and he has to come home. Definitely, you should be definitely listening to more sex advice from Casey Affleck. That seems like a good road to be riding. a lot of stuff hasn't aged well you also probably shouldn't illegally

you know videotape underage girl and broadcast it on the internet I don't know if fucking Eugene Levin would go to jail at the end of this movie Absolutely dude oh I'm sorry Mr. Levinson we noted that in your house technically sir your name is on the lease you were fucking producing child pornography

in this house Wait I'm going What's happening? Jim Jim! Did you make a kiddie porn dungeon gym? I love, I mean, what lost me, I think the first fucking time I ever saw this movie is like, so Thomas Ian Nicholas, our hero, ladies and gentlemen, is dissatisfied by getting oral sex from terror. He is just fucking over it.

He is tired of it. And I'm like, you know, dude, fuck out of these kids. Who could ever want a blow job? What the fuck get that out of here. I'm so tired. I'm so tired of these damn blow jobs. Can I just, can I move on as a 17-year-old from blow jobs all the time?

It's fucking wild because there's that one exchange between Tara Reid and Natasha Leon where Tara Reid's like, uh, like something, something like, oh, well, like he,

he likes getting sucked off or whatever. And Natasha Leon's like, oh, yeah, a guy likes getting a blow job. Wow, fucking world news to read.

Well, that's the other thing she's asked her if she's ever had an orgasm and she's like, I think there was one and she stops like,

no, you didn't. You would know. It's a very funny scene. But yeah, I mean, this, and that's the funny part

is he gets caught like he's talking to gym. Like, enough of this blowjob bullshit. I want to get laid. And she's like, yeah, nice.

And it's like, you know what? You're never talking to that kid again. Like, you're fucking 31 minutes away from having sucked this dude off. And he's like, blow

jobs suck. I am anti-blow jobs. It's like the end of the year anyway. Just ghost this fucking kid and go to Cornell and give a blowjob to someone who would appreciate it. Yeah. To quote De Niro from Copeland, you blew it! Exactly. There is, man, I love some of just the

quick audio jokes in this movie and there's one right around here because we are speaking about this blowjob where like they're in a bedroom at the party getting ready to do it and you just hear like some dude out in the hallway

like because they are talking about like the right moment and blah blah blah and you just this dude go dude my farts fucking stink and then this other dude goes dude you gotta take a shit. It's like you have no

idea who those guys are. You have no idea what they're doing at the party. But it's just like the funniest fucking thing to kill a mood right before a blowjohn. Those are my favorite characters. While this is going on, Oz has been talking about he's got a date with a college girl.

Man oh man, suck me beautiful. That is whoever told him that that was going to work, bad advice. Yes. And also look at this. Someone over here wants a blowjob. Someone over here appreciates that. I was

actually, because it's been forever since it's begging for it like you should. Yeah. When I was watching that scene because it's like my college girl, we start, we find out that she's a she's studying feminist theory

or something like that. It's like, oh, here we go. But the scene's actually like, he does suck be beautiful. She laughs at him and just just like, you got to do better than that. It's not like this being. They call me Nova. As in Casanova. Oh, man. It's just like brutal, one after the other.

It is nice because it's actually a constructive put down. She's just like, hey, man, you got to do better than that. You got to fucking be interested in her. You got to ask questions. You know, you got to participate in this. It's not just suck me beautiful. And then she's like, I'm going to drive you back to your little friends. And you know what?

I'm never going to date a high school guy again. I know what I was thinking, yeah, yep. I'm very curious to find out how he even looks. landed the first date. Yes. Like, he looks like Chris Klein. I guess so, but if she's in college, she's just hanging out at lacrosse games, I guess.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. She's working on her thesis. Uh-huh. But yeah, so he fucking, Kevin comes in this cup and leaves it on the nightstand.

And then like, here we go. Man, Stifler barges in, kicks them out. And he's trying to let cook up with this girl. And man, oh man, he just chugs this come, realizes immediately he did and throws up on this girl. Well done sir. Does he, how, so

how does he know it's come? Because he takes a huge sip of it and then he looks at it and then they have Sean William Scott do a like, he turns back towards the door like, oh fuck, Kevin was just, oh no.

Yeah, I guess that's, I just I always was just like, is this a fetish for Nicholas? This he's like, I just like, I love coming and cuff. Maybe, no. The full cups, I just love It's a nice cool down after a hot job. I mean, look, I know you're in a high school party. You got to take it with you, man.

And then, like, go direct to the bathroom, right in the toilet. Sure. Well, you guys were poo-pooing socks a few minutes ago. Guess what would have come in handy for Kevin right here. But then you got, you're coming on Stifler's socks, which is another fetish. You're folding it up in your back pocket and you're either taking it with you or throwing it out in the garbage. you go to the bathroom or something. Or fuck, throw it out the bedroom window.

Let the lawn take care of it. Hey, you want to know another thing that totally dates this movie in a hilarious way? Please. I mean, the whole movie is just itself completely dated in all of the most uncomfortable ways.

But when Natasha Leone is about the orgasm conversation and she asks Tara Reid if she's ever masturbated and she fucking, the euphemism she uses is you never double-click your mouse? Oh, yeah. Yeah, no kids, I know you're

thinking they're talking about some type of rodent But computers used to have these things called Mouses. That would you could You know surf the web with They're now the pad in front of your laptop. Yeah, yeah, your mouse got flattened into a track pad. Oh, you never pushed down on your track pad, dude? Oh, man.

I mean, so that's kind of the party that we meet the milf guys the mill and you know the milf was a big cultural sensation you know this is what did it man people are still saying it people are still saying oh yeah they're saying all the time oh yeah it created a new porn category essentially it can't be from this right apparently like something some website predated it a couple of years ah damn it but you know it's certainly popularized it some screenwriter was masturbating Look, I'm a dreamer, Eric. I just wanted to believe in this script being the groundbreaker.

Thanks, I mean, John Cho's latter career. Because, I mean, you know, you've got other Miltz guy. That's the sliding doors moment. But, like, somebody comes up to like, hey, Milf guy. Actually, I was Sulu on Star Trek, you know. Yeah, I was on a bunch of TV shows. I do really well, you know. I was also fucking Harold in the three big Harold and Kumar comedies.

Exactly. Just don't call me, don't call me fucking Miltz guy, okay? I was in Guantanamo Bay Okay I mean that we also get the Shermanator Oh dear The introduction to the Shermanator

At the party is fucking hilarious Because he's standing Just like in the living room or whatever And Stifler walks by him Because like it's a little quick Like we're following Stifler through his party And he's greeting people And sexually harassing women and everything

And he goes Sherman, what the fuck are you doing here? It's a good line. I always wanted to greet someone that way, you know? But yeah, so Sherman is like telling Jim and Kevin like, oh yeah,

I'm getting late to night, don't even worry about it. And then they see him right after the interaction with the Miltz guys like taking this girl into a bedroom and closing the door. And so the next morning, they all crash at this house and they wake up, hungover. And they're all like so,

depressed that the shermanator is bringing this lady downstairs and they have like a nice little hug and she leaves and whatnot and thanks him for a great night and these four guys are just they're really furious about this development

just done and this is when you know Kevin because he's going to make it's oh fuck Kevin's got to make a speech and he gets up and he's like guys it's too much already we can't take this lying down we're going to work together like we're all working as a team which kind of doesn't actually happen in the movie you know what i mean like

this idea that we're all going to work together like they do some stuff for finch a little bit but for the rest of it they're just kind of like i don't know dude you're doing your thing i'm doing mine yeah they all sort of yeah they all like independently go do their own thing but it reminded me of that episode of seinfeld where george is like helping jerry date that girl and he's like giving him like the change of clothes and like oh you know i need what's the line. He's like, oh, I need like a bunch of flowers by tonight or something. And George's like, a little notice would have been nice. Like,

that's what the movie should have been. Them all working together. Right. Like they say they do here, but it definitely doesn't happen. I just don't know how in this scene, Oz doesn't go to Jim and be like, Jesus Christ, you watch Dead Poets Society again last night. Oh, God. Okay. Could you just get off the table and just

yeah, could you just please? Because I'd be like, yeah, hey, awesome, man. We were going to put on some Street Fighter 2, Turbo, if you don't mind. Just could just fucking move. You're really hung over here, man. You're just like standing on this chair yelling things at me. Blocking the TV, man.

Speechifying and blocking the TV. Two party fouls. By the way, I was looking at Chris Owen, who plays Sherman's IMDB, and I was he in major pain? He is in major pain because he is the poster. This kid, I just wrote

the chat, it's a really funny looking face he's got this poster. yes it is and isn't he the second fiddle in Angus too? Yes he is Oh wow that is the Shermanator look at him By the way you know Actually I just was reading a major pain the other day

Because I rewatched the last Starfighter Did an episode with junk food cinema on that But I was I was totally like Taken by surprise wow The shape from Halloween directed major pain Oh really? Yeah Nick Castle What Nick Castle? Oh shit

That's weird We will have to do, we will have to do Major Pan at some point. That movie is fucking nuts. I saw that in the drive-ins I did. Chris Owen also did a, uh, ate some pubes in what the hell is that movie? She's all that.

Hmm. Oh, when he was like, got to eat pubs dude. And of course he's the famous kleptomaniac and can't hardly wait. Oh yes. And steals the police car while a fucking Blinkway A2 song is playing that movie.

I hate to break it to you, folks. We're definitely doing major pain because Sir Bam Bam Bigelow is in that movie. Oh, wow. He got knight in final. That senile old bat in Buckingham's going to tossing out nightheads. Is he the shitty dad? It just says huge, but he's credited as huge. Oh, yes.

Yeah, yep. I remember. Oh, bam, bam, bigelow, my favorite of all the New Jersey Rasslers. Rise, sir. Bam Bam of Asbury Park She's losing it Fucking night and wrestlers

It's got to be put down The Queen will be making no more public appearances for the year Except for this hologram of her younger For some reason Anyway, Tudaloo It was actually the hologram that knighted Bam Bam That was just We were testing it out

And Bam Bam was nice enough to come down. Well, to be fair, Bam Bam died in 2007, much like the queen. Yes. Oh, Bam Bam. Now we're meeting in heaven once again. You mean hell, right? Yeah. Hell is heaven to me, you see? She's going to rule over the ashes.

Us filthy imperialists just love going to hell. Here's a crazy fucking line in that. Kevin's speech that it's like, dude, I want to think that if the Kevin character fell on hard times, this dude's foreshannon and fucking storming the Capitol. Because one of the lines here is he's talking about like, you know, we got to stand up for ourselves

and all the other guys out there. He goes, every man who isn't getting laid and should be. Uh-huh. That should be, sir. That's, that's in-cell behavior, a number one, dude. Yep. How dare you not be, how dare, how dare I just be getting blow jobs is the, is the Kevin, the Kevin plight. Damn, these fucking kids, man. I do love, then they, then they start talking at the hot dog stand like we talked about.

They're kind of going over the terms of this very vague pack that they're going to get all get laid by. By the way, deeply weird to be like, listen, okay? By three weeks, all of us have to get laid. It's like, he also puts it out there. and guess it's got to be totally uh uh and then what is it's consensual is the first consensual consensual consensual no prostitutes but also consensual he says no prostitutes to like soften it up like guys let's keep it clean out there all right like i know totally if you're you know what i mean like we all want to win this pact but come on guys now now i've given you all each

two index cards that's to place the come afterwards in between to prove that you you have done the sex. Exactly. I want to know. I want to know. I want to hear about it. And so they decide that prom is their last chance. Sure. That's the deadline. We don't have any kind of like everybody

put their hand in thing, which I don't think this movie's above. They should have done that. A woe Bundy kind of a scenario. Oh yes. Absolutely. And we get into the fucking needle drops are fucking totally wild dude. So we get this montage of them

kind of setting to work you know chasing after whatever tail they're chasing after two anybody notice it anybody remember which one flagpole sitter yeah

flagpole sitter holy shit dude not on the not on the theme not on the soundtrack which I would have I would have fucking been furious I'm like I wanted flagpole sita what the fuck is going on

well you wanted you want that to lead they had like a new tonic song oh thank you that tonic song was huge that massive and then this bad as

on fire I don't know disease in your own oh you think so pretty you hear that song you know

you're having a good time tonight exactly you know the boys are back together let's listen

to that song again am I wrong here though I don't is that in the movie I don't think

it is I think it was trailer only it was trailer only but I think it might make it

into the sequel because they knew what they had they were like everybody keeps talking about that song from the trailer we got to put it in the rest of the movies we blew it the first time we can't fail them again look we can't ignore James again they've been ignored

by the public enough that's a band that did it oh yes you're right the um yeah oh my god it's like a yodeling cowboy you know that's what that sounds like when you do

that uh huh him making this, it's like e-date profile. This is so early internet, man. This is quaint and quite hilarious. It's cool to see that they're not ignoring it completely. Like, the internet obviously plays a big factor in this movie. But at the same time,

they're overestimating it maybe. Because, like, who's able to stream a good video? Oh, my God. Forget about it. No. No. I don't know. These little rich boys, they could have. That's fair, actually. They are fucking stinking rich I could smell it on them that's true

one of the things I was fucking pretty stunned about is there's that shot after that montage comes to a close we're back at the school for a second and there's just this

they are in the middle of this hallway with their fellow students walking all around them and Kevin has a shopping bag and he's doling out multiple boxes of condoms to these dudes

just right there and it's like one Why is Kevin the guy that's going to the fucking drugstore and getting all the condom? Because he's the only one that's into it. And everyone's like, God damn it, Kevin. Yeah, I think you're right. Thank you for the free condom dude. Awesome.

I will say, that's, I found it a lot more, like, relieving at the end of this movie when they fucking say, fuck you to him. Yes, absolutely. It's very cathartic. I kind of was shrugging at it the first time I saw it. But like, now I'm like, oh, yeah, he's a fucking pain in the ass. Well, that's, it is the, you know, it's the beauty of hindsight. because I'm telling you the last time I watched this movie I didn't think Kevin was an asshole

Kevin's totally an asshole he's a fucking creep and I also didn't really understand that like the three of them are kind of just like yeah I guess we'll do it but like yeah he's getting t-shirts made for this thing you know what you're totally right because Kevin's getting t-shirts made for everything

it's always like dude gentlemen when are we going to Vegas got the t-shirts made and it's like okay and then we'll do that and then like but Kevin's like yeah we're doing dinner Stakes. We're all getting I don't want to no no we're in Vegas Gotta get steaks

Fuck dude I just wanted the chicken Looks really good could I do that And there you go there's the rich angle again Because like who has the money to buy He's got like 10 boxes of these condoms It's crazy How many boxes of condoms he's given Like Jason Biggs is holding like two boxes

of condoms in his hand And I'm like what do you do with those kids? Also look Oz playing lacrosse Like that's a rich school thing right? Oh, absolutely. Because do you guys have lacrosse teams up there? We did, yeah. We did. The lacrosse was very popular. I did not know

it was real. I thought it was a movie thing. Oh, no, yeah. No, it was, it was very, very I would say it was probably, honestly, like the third probably biggest sport in our school behind, like, football and baseball.

You had baseball, too, wow. We had field hockey. Field hockey. We had soccer. We had baseball. We wouldn't, the school would not pay for football because of the insurance. And it was an all-boy school and like everybody wanted to do it. And then like, nah. We had track and field and football, but football disbanded due to a lack of interest for a year or two.

I think it maybe came back later. But lacrosse, is that game just, it's only played by high school students? I understand. Like, you can't, ESPN is, is they're playing? Are they playing? There is college. There's, well, there's college lacrosse.

There is professional. lacrosse, like very low radar. Like, it's there. It's there. But like no, like cricket has to have way more viewership and shit. Like no one's watching lacrosse. No. No, it's, it's, it's not huge. A cricket over in the UK and other places. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely massive. That's true. That's massive sport. We've taken a hit. The lacrosse community has taken a hit over the years. You got to, you got to help us. Watch us again. Net for us. We've a new net. So what the concept is there's a now is that ball,

hard or soft at their I believe it's hard. It's hard. It's quite hard. And you have to catch it in like a dog catching net. Yeah. And then you curl it at a at a goal. Is that? Yes. It's got it. You got it. Yeah, pretty much.

Can you use your hands or feet? What are the restrictions? You're running. You're running. I don't think you cannot use your hands to like pick up the ball. I do not believe. No. The goalie, like the goaltender has a bigger netted stick than the rest of the players. So if the ball hits the ground you can't touch it

you have to like get it in your nattered you you scoop it up the way to remove it on clothing that's right you would move it on a lot of clothing yeah sure smart move yeah yeah I mean the thing I think should happen after the flagpole sit a montage

is that everything should be first person perspective and we should be from Mark or Jess's perspective as they make their way through high school and see what's going no Kevin is like at 10 years from now he's the guy you're dreading fucking bringing to your goddamn bachelor party oh absolutely and I think in the sequels he is kind of the guy who is always like ah the memories brother exactly definitely is yes he's he's the guy in the group chat that there's a separate group chat about you know what I mean it's just like you know it's just like fuck Kevin man what the fuck it's going on with that guy he fucking made t-shirts I've had four stakes on this fucking guys only the best steaks only yeah he only wants us to go to steakhouses

during the bachelor party during lunch too oh man imagine those shits oh Jesus imagine the colon cancer the shit break thing and it's always something that I'm sure you know and I mean because this is a thing this is a problem with society we should all just be okay

going to the bathroom in public and people should be okay with people going to the bathroom in public I've got to take a shit, ladies and gentlemen. It's just going to happen. Well, you've always had such a cavalier attitude. No shame is your philosophy. Exactly.

Because it's a fucking natural function. I would have loved to be able to do what shit breaks move was. But, but, you know, my house was like an hour bus ride away from this school. And almost every single stall in the school because your boys doesn't matter. No doors on any of the stalls. No doors. get into trouble, you understand. We're just fucking taking a shit like it's jail.

I've done that. I've done that, Steve. You're welcome. I don't know. It's the, that's what I'm saying too. It's all, it's all bad. Like, that's also part of it. Like, you should just be able to have a fucking shit. And if we respected the institution, we wouldn't break the lot. Here's the thing, though, man, you're talking about two different things at the same time. Okay. I agree with you. that at no point should we and you know it's high school

I'm guilty of this Chris Cabin is guilty of this I'm sure you guys are guilty of in high school I'm innocent the the you know a public he's taking a shit making fun of someone for taking a shit absolutely we shouldn't be doing that because everybody poops but where I disagree with you Steve is on the other side

of just do it because I am a big germaphobe and for a large portion of my life I could not shit in public. I didn't shit in high school. I didn't shit in the school. It wasn't until like college, I think befriending Mr. Cavalier himself,

Steve Sadek, did some of that finally brush off on me? Because I was using bathrooms at purchase in public. I wasn't running back to the dorm. But in high school, I never fucking took a shit. Absolutely not. I was too crazed about the germs, and I'd have to get to the home base where it was just the family germs.

It was less to worry about, I guess. Steve doesn't even like going into the bathroom these ways. tables, floors. In the street, just in the street. Everybody does it. What are you looking at? The water bowls that are supposed to be for the dogs. In a future scenario of society crumbled, in my opinion, but maybe heightened in yours,

would you be okay with street defecation in mass? No, no, I want privacy. I want privacy, ladies a gentleman. I do. I absolutely do. I want a door that closes that has a lock. Florida ceiling commode Florida ceiling commode

Oh wouldn't that be nice Hell yeah You're talking about science fiction now I've only seen that I've only seen that style of bathroom I think three times in my life Once at Union Hall In Brooklyn

They have a commode situation I think the Met opera house also Oh is that right Yes And the downtown draft house Their commode section of the bathroom floor to ceiling doors And it's genderless

you don't have to worry about any of that horse shit. It's just like everybody needs to take a shit. And here's a little room for you to do it in and enjoy the rest of your life. As much as you're hung up on the bathroom, Steve, thank God you're not one of these guys that's like trying to police who could go in, you know, doing whatever.

No, no. Because again, it shouldn't matter. Just go in. Everyone's going to do shit. Yeah, who gives a fuck? But to get back to the movie for a second. If we could. No.

If I could, because Eddie K. Thomas has a line here where he says, and it's fucking. hilarious that he's clocked it, but it's like 16 minutes round trip or something like that. If I could have gotten back to my house in high school in eight minutes of walking or whatever, I definitely would be going home

to take a shit. No doubt about it. I would be Andrew's shit break jupin. No doubt about it. No, I mean, I will take any facility that has a lock. I'm happy with the, that's all I need. You can see my ankles. I, you know, it's not the 30s here. uh it's that no but like i and after hearing like the idea of eric like holding up his jacket to get

some privacy so there's no door didn't uh did you bring a shower curtain no uh i i was sort of like you andrew i i tried never to do it at school i definitely did it at least once or twice and my friends you're just you're you're crossing your fingers that no one's coming in i've been there i've been there and it's just sort of like i hope it doesn't have to come to this because someone's going to look at me. But the funny thing about him, Eddie K. Thomas' finch character is he goes up to Kevin. He's like, listen,

whatever you hear about me, just say yes. And you find out later on that he's paid Natasha Leone to say that they'd have sex and to start all these insane rumors about how big his dick is, et cetera, if he has a tattoo and so on and so. And it just kind of gets out of control. Yeah.

He fuck Stifler's mom before he actually fuck Stifler's mom. An affair with an older woman. And then he beat up Stifler was the one that sets off Stifler when he hears about that. Like, oh, really? And yes, the very memorable

I put a bunch of fucking X-Lax in his, because it's 1990. Oh, it sure is. Making this movie, his Mamma-Mocachino. Oh, man. And it's interesting because now, Stifler obviously no problem is betraying him because he was never part of the pact,

which is another interesting dynamic with this friend circle. Well, because Stiffler's, you know, getting tail left and right, man. Is he, though? Oh, yeah. I mean, he smacks that ladies rump, which is non-consensual, but is he, like, banging in this movie?

Did I miss it? I think you are to just sort of assume he is a bit of a scuzzy ladies' man, yes. Yeah, you're never getting, like, it would be great if you did get the reveal, like, as, like, the, what happens with Shermanator, that, like, Stifler has never done anything. Yes.

That would be good. Did you guys ever have a friend who pretended to do it, like, said, and, like, it was very obviously that they didn't. Chris Cabin, yeah. Absolutely. No, there is, I will, you know, never name and names here. Sure, of course not. Elya Kazan. There's a dude, Aaron Harris.

I'm not fucking standing up for that piece of shit. He said that. He never fucked. He never fucked once. That guy lied about fucking. Then he fucked America. No, um, yeah, no, Chris, we have a guy. I'll tell you off the air, there's a guy.

Yeah, it was, because it was like weekly. It was every fucking week. You know what? I think, am I thinking, I might be thinking of the guy, too. Do I know, do I know, do I know this gentleman? I don't think so. There's another guy you guys also know that I think would also be behind due to do things.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Steve knows what I'm talking about. Oh, yeah. No, not, not that guy, but there was a guy and it was just like every, and, you know, we're in like, you know, junior year of high school, senior year, like 17, 18 years old. And this guy's fucking like he's Peter North,

if you're gonna believe him. And we would just be like, I don't, and we never said anything, but it was always like, you know, it was the late 90s, early 2000, so we didn't have texting. There was no group chats, but it was a lot of like when Mr.

so-and-so wasn't around, like, he's not getting it wet that much, right? Or if at all. Was he identifying girls at the school as well as his victims? Or was it just like, oh, yeah, no, I just, I met this chick at the mall. That's what it was, dude, because it was, while we did not have texting, it was the age of aim, my friends. And it was a lot of like, I fucking have been talking to this girl from the next town over.

Yeah, it was, that was the other thing. Nobody knows her. It was like, oh, this girl from this other school, we've been dating. I fucked this girl. I fingered that girl under the bleachers. But it was never, it was never anyone in the high school. And that was always like the biggest, obvious, dumbest red flag of the whole affair. I might one of my best friends from high school came walking down the street what I we were still

going to the bus stop hold on a second Chris he came while he was walking down the street he also did that he was a big come walker uh so he he he he's walking down the street to beat me and he's with our other friend and our other friend very loudly at like I mean this is like 630 in the morning starts just yells down the street he fucked her announcing that my friend had fucked her and then like I get close to him like okay and he's like yeah he introduced me to this girl you know we had a good time too and then my my friend looks at him he's like no you didn't and then he looks back at me and he's like yeah it was weird public call out just right there like no you didn't have sex no literally like no you did not

wow incredible move it was amazing that's a power play it is holy yeah yeah um so like that's you know he takes the big shit he takes the big shit yes and like everyone's got these in the girls room in the girls room and then all the girls look at him like oh my god you take a shit the girls room so now he's like he's uh any good stuff happening for him is now gone by the time yeah he eliminated

yeah exactly yeah the crowd form like the girls are in there and they hear the shitting and they run out but it seems like Stifler has corralled the schools in the hallway. Definitely. And they're all just laughing at him. And it's like sometimes all the time, everyone, every day someone has a violent shit. It just happens. It's happening right now. You're probably, you gentle listener, probably taking an enormous shit right now.

Totally. It's the best way to listen to this show. Remember to wipe. Excellent advice. Finch, I think the reason I also always, to Finch is because he's got the funny storyline. Yes. He doesn't have to really hold this major like arc of character building

throughout like Chris Klein going to choir with Menacevari. It's kind of boring. It's incredibly boring. They have some chemistry a little bit, I guess. But like it's tough because like clearly White's is not Alexander Payne. So he doesn't know really what to do. with Klein. He's just like, hey, talk, you're handsome, do this. Talk

in a very loud stage whisper. Yeah. Because that's just like his sort of like, you know, you know, emotional, whatever kind of. I'm a soft thinking, soft-hearted kind of guy. I do think that they have chemistry, though. It's actually thinking it watching it today. The two

of them, I do think, have pretty decent chemistry, but you were just watching these kids. John Cho in this chorus, too. singing do you believe in magic and man, I fucking hate that song. It's a pretty bad one. Well, it's Acapella folks, so... Well, that's also, that's the fucking devil's music.

I will not be convinced otherwise that piece of shit art form. The queens down there listening to Acapello with John Wayne and Bam Bam Bigelow. Oh, Duke, don't you love listening to all this delicious music down here with me and so bum bum?

It's as hell, lady. It's sure feels like it. I do not believe in magic. Era, you didn't tell me you were watching it again. Mr. President, I'm going to put on some Van Helen and we're going to rock. I'll tell you, I believe in a magic bullet. I want to say that song was used

in a Burger King commercial at some time in the 90s. That sounds right. It was a huge fucking song. yeah it was 70s or whatever yeah and it's just man I hate it because like Oz's plan such as it is like oh that you know this woman told me to be sensitive so I'm gonna try and do it he's seen reading a YM magazine for oh I miss that oh when was that it's just it's during the montage that kind of does nothing oh okay he's watching a show about bird houses and he's got a YM magazine okay oh I remember him watching the TV what is YM magazine was that young

young male? I don't know. Wait, wait, wait, is this you guys talking about happiness? No, some some youth publication.

It was a teen magazine. Yeah. Mostly for women. Or for gals. Oh, it was for gals. Yeah, I said, was it, young maidens?

It might have been. I'm trying to find out the YM's did for. How is that not the first thing on the Wikipedia page? YM started the 1930s. Nice. Whoa.

No ankle. Compact which was aimed at older teams and calling all girls was another magazine at the time Calling all girls Ring a ding ding dang dang I just I got nothing for a lot

Nothing Wow Oh what maybe youth monthly Oh that maybe that's it Or maybe it's just like the actual like the initial like the initials of like the overseeing company like Yeager Mahler

Like some magazine It is your magazine. Oh, look at that. I just Googled YM meaning. And there's some list of acronyms and definitions came up. And the first one says, you moron. It stands for you moron.

It resonates. It does resonate to think that. But so then he winds up joining the choir because he thinks, you know, he's going to join the, you know, he's going to, you know, find a gal there. This is when we see the only black people in this movie that might even. have any dialogue. It's insane how few black people are in this movie. It's kind of nuts. Yeah, because the teacher is a black actress and I think maybe like one or two students in the choir people of color, but that's kind of it. Because you would want, like, especially even in like the gym scene when we're seeing all these different groups of people, like not a single

black person tuning in on that. Okay. Totally cool. It's just the girl that Menacevari talks to from choir. It is pretty crazy, but I think Michigan's been plowing ahead trying to make a white ethno state eventually. So maybe this is like the one pocket where they're getting it getting it down. Right. It's possible. It's a good representation for

this state. That's why Tim Allen lives there. And they... What was the thing with Tim Allen? Do you just see this? Chris, did you tell us about this? Yes, I did because it happened right near my in-laws house. Tim Allen like spilled an

entire yachts worth of gas into a marina. And they had to close it down for the whole day. You're talking about fuel, not farts? Fuel. Absolutely fuel. Not the farts. But you can't fart near it because then it will set fire. And then, you know, we're all in trouble.

But yeah, I went downtown the day and it literally smelled like gasoline. What a fucking asshole. And everybody, like, now this is like the most pack time around Traverse City. So like literally everybody, you just like hear people murmuring everywhere, you know, fucking Tim Allen

that piece of shit, you know? Like, everywhere I go, you just hear it echoing. That's nice. He should, like, bought the whole town dinner or something. He does a lot, apparently he does a lot of work for the local theaters. I don't know. All right. Well, that's fine, but keep your fucking gas and your boat. He also probably does a lot of work for the, uh, fucking local police department, that fucking snitch. So probably.

Probably. Probably. But they, whatever. And like, that's kind of their sweet story and like he's playing lacrosse and you know Stiffler's giving him a lot of shit like why are you doing it's like dude the chicks are so cute here specifically me to Savari they start getting getting going

hot and heavy and yeah this is like a little like a 19 minute rom-com in this movie you know what I mean like a different movie pretty much because you could you know and they've done this this movie exists of course it does I mean them that's the movie

Heather and Oz, like, that's a movie, and that's just the only story. And that's, like, the annoying thing about this movie, even though I do like this movie. I think this is a totally fine three-star affair. But, like, it just makes it feel so oddly segmented that a lot of it, it doesn't feel like there's a flow. At least we do have the timeline of we have to get this done by prom. So you're on the clock, but it's like, it just feels like a bunch of disparate scenes, you know, unless we're all interacting together, which kind of doesn't happen in a lot of the scenes. I think this is very emblematic of the sitcom kind of writing that was going on now,

like, let's just get as many funny scenes as we can in here. And all the parts that people like that Tesswell, like a romance story, like, you know, a sex Bible, I don't know, all these things that Tesswell, like just put them in there. It doesn't matter how he's shape. And by the way, they did make the movie that they're having in this movie. It's called Here on Earth. And I think it's the Cancer Lady movie. Oh, that makes sense.

I think it's sad. I think Lee-Sobiaski has cancer. But now, I feel like this, this Oz's relationship, I think you kind of need it because otherwise there's not really, no one has like a turn of heart and everyone's just like dying to come and that's all that matters. And then also, you know, you, there's plenty of jokes in the movie, but I feel like it was just, if there were more, a few more scenes of them striking out with girls instead of this, it would be, you'd be, you'd be tapping that while.

That's true. At the same time, like, greasy as ever, fucking Kevin, rather than he's tried to, you know, he's tried to send flowers. He's tried to apologize a few times. So what is he going to do? He's going to fuck his way out of this. What he does is he does a thing you should never do, and he takes sex advice from Casey Affle over the phone from a sushi restaurant. I don't know what the fuck this is about him. Because he's a cool older guy. I guess just to get the spicy tuna hand roll joke in is the whole thing. And also, because Casey Affleck was nowhere near this movie. They had him for half an hour and he's like, sure. But this was like 1999. Like you're making this movie in 98.

Who the fuck was Casey Affleck? It's a good point. Because it's pre-Oceans. It's just before Goodwill Hunt. It's just after Goodwill Hunt. Oh, which I forgot he's in. He's pretty big in it. Yeah.

All right. So that's, I just. I had completely totally forgotten that that was him. I want to say honestly, the last time I watched this movie, I probably wasn't that super aware of KCF like as a person.

That's like how long it's been since I had seen this movie. But I was because I was watching it today. He pops up in the scene over the phone and I was like, what the fuck are you doing here? I totally forgot him too. And it's like,

oh yeah, dude, you've got the old Bible panned it down from all. Because like any fucking kid in high school has ever figured out how to eat fucking pussy like Christ on the cross like you know what I mean that's a Bible of worthless information

it's really not that hard kids but the funny thing is like this again you know kid uncovers the sex book in his high school and shares it with his friends that's also just another movie and they fucking realize that because one of them

their direct to streaming or direct to DVD sequels is the book of love and it is literally just kind of like a soft reboot of American Pie. Like, it's about a kid who finds the book and it's like now all my fucking weird

pervert friends are looking at the book. It belongs in a museum. We refuse to return the book of sex to the Middle East where we stole it from. We're to put it on display in the B&I. I'm just imagining now

when the Nazis were trying to get it and they were like, and bring back the book of sex to your furor without knowing that it works. No, we have to eat pussy on this island. He puts on a headdress. A headdress for sure. Yeah. I really love the scene

where Eugene Levy tries to have the talk with him for porno magazines. God damn. And I guess the thing was with this movie, Eugene Levy, like, Chelsea told me this after we watched it, but that, like, he was not thrilled at all with the scrimped, if you could even believe it. And he was like, yeah, I'll do this movie

if I can just, like, improvise everything that I do. Oh, so that's why he's funny. Okay. Yes, that's why it's the fucking leaps and bounds is the funniest part of the movie, no doubt about it. Well, he's talking about Presti's like, which are large and they're used for feeding infants and for feeding infants made me cackle on my house. and I did not expect the laugh

of that movie but yeah. Feeding feeding influence mostly. Yes. The A he takes for a walk on shaved. Shaved. Well, like, that's what's kind of great. Like, it is clearly Mr. Levinson has

thought about this. He's very familiar with the content of all of these porno megs because there is an escalation to this. There's a presentation to all of it because it's like the first one is just like perfect 10 and it's like it's just breasts and that's, That's when the breast line happens.

And he's like, now this is Hustler, and this is a little more erotic. And you'll see there's full frontal nudity here. And then the escalation to shade. It's great. I want to quickly mention maybe stop a tweet, maybe stop some madman polishing a gun on Reddit. You kept on saying Levin's son, but it's Levinstein, apparently. Oh, is that right? Yeah, I just want to stop a tweet.

I pulled up the IMD for American Wedding, where we get last names on our character descriptions. Oh, really? There we go. I think they're probably on the first one, too, and I just missed it. But good catch. Levinstein, it is. And then, oh, my God, with shaved, though,

when he's like, yes, and you see it here quite clearly. Someone looks like a little bit of an underwater sea creature. You see that looking her eye? That little, you know, hey there. Hey, there. Big boy. Yeah, the way he says,

she's like, hey there, big boy. It's just, it's a question. It's so. And again, yes. it is all improvised. That's why it's much funny in the rest of the movie. Yeah. He finds the fucking drawer full of condoms and he's like, well, it's better than a sock.

Yes. And he leaves also great. He loses the condom on his ass, which is the joke. And then the pie fucking scene, which needs to happen. Oh, absolutely. Because there's this line about it feels like warm apple pie. Yeah. What does third base feel like? It feels

like warm apple pie. And I mean, all right. Sure. But, It's a classic line. I've used this line before. I'll use it again after today. Just go jerk off. You don't need to be fucking this pie, man. Yeah. It's insane. What are you getting ready for a pot lock? Or bring it into the bathroom and lock a door. Like, I am not sticking my dick at anything without a lock door anywhere. What's the funnier things about this to be is in the trailer. for the movie, it's actually spicier. He actually is fighting, he's like fucking the pie against the wall. Whereas

in this, it's missionary. He's just he's just humping a pie on the island and of course the, oh wait a second, wait a second, which, so you saw on the island? Yeah, yeah, he's on the island. Because I had against, I had against I had against the counter. Yeah, against

the wall, the counter. Interesting. Weird. Because yeah, he's on, that's right. Now that I'm remembering it, he's on the island, like, fucking it. Like, really going for it. Oh, my God. Wait, is the director's, is it actually so spicy? Did the fucking ratings board actually, like,

that's too spicy? That, the, against the wild pie, fucking. Well, where did you watch it? Because Eric and I watched it on Peacock. I pulled up the IMDB. I confirmed the run times were the same on Peacock and IMD, so I don't know if there was an alternate version. I got the, I watched the unrated version

on Amazon and that did. super fan absolutely had to do it okay so unrated version Chris maybe that's what you watched as well yeah that's what I watch it yeah so I guess that the Spicer one is the missionary it's the mission because I was reading apparently the the MPAA did have problems with how many pumps he got in like that was part of the problem I should have realized it would have been an uncut version because we love doing that shit back then oh of course the DVD because you release the DVD and then six months later it's like holy shit it's oh yeah Raided. What?

Steve, can you also Could you confirm that we also see a little ass? Yes, you see his ass cheeks in that. You definitely see his ass, yeah. Do you see it would they stand up too? Okay. Oh, when he's standing up... I don't think you do. The shirt is kind of covering most of it.

You definitely see his ass more in the on the island missionary fucking. Like he's he's fucking the pie such as it is like against the kitchen counter. And so like his crotch area is probably up against like a cabinet door or like a drawer or something

and it's all like he's facing away and Eugene Levy walks in and he turns around and he's holding the pie like over his crotch basically. Now this I'm going to only ask one more question but between the unrated and this please do you have the scene

where Eugene Levy forces him to eat the cum pie? No you're lying. Now you're going to have to eat it that you You made your bed. Look, I'm not going to lie to your mother. We're going to say we eat it.

You're going to eat it. Now, you eat from the goo out. You go from goo to crust. Did he, did he ejaculated in it, you think? Because I know the father walks in, they, it's kind of stops, right? But maybe he had no problem jerking off in front of his parents earlier. So maybe he did not in that. That was the time to shoot.

Dad, just give me a second. I'll be right with you. I think he's got like a humiliation fetish, right? probably a big time thing coming up. That could be. Again, like you're saying we'll talk. Let's just get the webcam. So Shend Elizabeth is in this movie.

She plays the sexy exchange student because we're just We're borrowing that from 1986. Totally. You know, and she's, Jim has a huge crush on her earlier in the movie. He tries to talk to her and like, and that's a humorous scene where he's just, he's like, everyone's laughing. So he's laughing and then he doesn't know what to say. And he kind of creeps away.

That's kind of funny. I mean, the, I'm laughing my way into a conversation, never a great idea. No, not a good one. Because, like, you don't know what they're laughing at. And the question always will come back to you, what are you laughing at? Because you're not part of the conversation, Jim, and this is weird. And the fact that you just continue laughing without saying anything, it's a real face plant. Like, this kid, this kid, he must be a punishment.

pig because he keeps bouncing back from this shit. Yeah. I, after this face plant, you know, I'll see you at graduation. No more social stuff for me, man. Well, post, post what we're about to talk about, I see no other exit other than suicide. I really I just don't understand how you could think otherwise. You walk right into Lake Michigan,

dude, right into it. Put some rocks in your pockets. Easy as fucking pies. People saw you prematurely ejaculate. And they probably twice. That's true. All right. I'm trying to say it's not as bad as it sounds, but I guess it is. But also, like, this kid is geared up to be a geek squad creeper. Like, that's his job. Oh, yeah, good old fucking gym toilet cam Levinstein.

Yep, she's going to be an Airbnb host in no time. Well, because that's the weirdest part. It's like, so, like, she's like, oh, you know, you can help me study. And I have ballet practice, so I have to change when I get to your house. And then Stifler is like, dude, you got to put your webcam. and filmer. And then like everybody agrees, even like Finch who's supposed to be a sensitive one.

I was hoping Finch would might stick up and be like, this is fucking gross. This is gross. It's criminal. We shouldn't be doing this. But no, everyone's like, you got to do it, dude. And I'm like, I guess do you have to do? Do you like, it's like the drill tweet. Like, uh, ISIS

you don't under any circumstances have to hand it to them. You know what I mean? Like, it's very similar. Like, you don't have to do this like you could be like oh cool she's naked in my room right now and like you know fantasize or whatever that's fine but the filming and also the broadcasting like if you could yeah it's it's bad it's all sorts of bad it's it's definitely bad and there's you know the shermanator calls uh Kevin to to rub it in that apparently he sent it to the entire email directory of the school question mark question mark question Mark, can people have emails associated with the school, or is it like an email list the school

has? And for some reason, all these kids have email, which I assure you folks at home, it wasn't as common in 99. No. But it's, I mean, like, it was, it's a little early, but this is just starting to happen where you have an email directory for public school teachers. Because like, for teachers, but not students, right? Not students. That's a little weird that's going to students. Yeah, like college, yes, that's, again, but that's, you're upping the adulthood of them to make certain jokes work. That's true. So, like, they're giving certain adult privileges to them to allow this to work. But what is insane about all of this?

And if I were Jim here after this gross public humiliation, I would not be friends with these guys anymore because the fucking Shermanator blows the whistle. He's like, hey, guys, your fucking idiot friend emailed everybody. I'm watching it right now at no point do either fucking Kevin or Finch get up and run over to Jim's house or call the house

or anything like that to be like, hey man this girl's naked all over the school email like you're fucking dancing like an asshole like no one tries to put out this fire and also like listen I would never accept a fucking link from you guys where you're like hey

and I would also never ask you to send me the link of I'm going to go have sex. You know what? Could you send me a link for that dude? So I can watch it on your webcam. I have no interest. It is interesting that she's the only nudity in this movie. You know, there's Yes. Because everybody else

is not, except for some man-ass with a lot of boy nipples. You'll get those. Oh, movies love boy nipples. But she's naked for a good portion of the scene. She's a fantasy fucking character. So she's like,

to look at this dude's pornography. Dude, it's just the start of a porno scene. She opens the drawer and is just like, what is this? Oh, well, Jim is not back yet. I'm supposed to be changing here by myself. Maybe I'll start fingering myself. What are you fucking doing in this house? It's also a joke on how, you know,

Europeans are more not as puritanical as us Americans when it comes to show. Yes, of course. They love it. I mean, the most insane thing about this, because she's like, oh, yeah, I have the ballet practice. I can change at your house. I'll come straight from practice.

And so he like sets her up. And then it's like another, it's the Blink 182 mutt needle drop. And he runs over to Kevin's house to watch it. Like, what does he think the fucking end game is going to be here with all of this? It's really insane. Well, then we're all just jacking off, A, to this girl without a permission. And B, later to our friend having sex. Like, we're all just watching it.

It's like get this fucking rock hard. Revenge porn without ever having betrayal. It's just a random crime. It's literally just a random crime. You're right. Again,

this is a, he's the geek squad fucking creep, dude. He is. Yep. Oh, exactly. He will install your TV and he will videotape you pissing.

Absolutely. There is, he does have a good line here. Like when he goes over to Kevin's house and they're watching it, when she opens the, the night tape. table draw he just goes uh she's going through my stuff like dude that is the least of your

problems right now man yeah uh and he said like they're about to have sex and he comes immediately which is very funny and then touching her leg yeah and then like she's even like hey let's give it another shot and like he's like all right maybe and then it just happens again the weirdest part about all this so like she uh he does this cry to her and everyone sees it like he's humiliated sure but her punishment is like her sponsors in this country

saw it and sent her back to wherever the fuck like yeah she got deported that is such it's such a casually dropped line like it's the next day they're at school and Jim's like well Nadia's sponsor family got so enraged they sent her back

to the Czech Republic and it's like holy fuck dude she got deported because you're fucking gross sex prank? Because they can't actually, it's not like they can actually have her come back and actually have to deal with the consequences of what that was. They have to get rid of her.

They have to get rid of her now. She's just a fantasy figure and now she's gone. Because otherwise, you know, then what? Jim and her get it on and the movie's over? I guess. Allison Hannigan doesn't get to meet Jim. Well, that's the thing.

That's the next thing is like he, like everyone is making fun of him at school except for now the low that we've been seeing Alison Hannigan kind of in periphery as like the nerd girl the band girl so now fucking we are just settling for Allison Hanigan

ladies and gentlemen is that what I'm to believe I might believe that there is a universe where you're like I guess I'll have sex with Alice and Hannigan I suppose so you know you got me into it I'm so fucking finessed me on one end I'm so sick of getting blow jobs from Tara Reid and now

Fuck. Now I goddamn have to have sex with Alison Hannigan. Oh, my life. This terrible life of mine. That's another interesting point about the movie. I mean, besides for Oz, who's actually trying to reach out to other types of women, they're all like obsessed with this, again, fantasy type of woman that's just like all for fucking or whatever. I don't even know what they're imagining. Yes. They want a horny person. They want like the horniness to be up front. The romance should be in the back and that's true of I think that's true of Kevin as well but like this is around when he gets

I mean I was just talking about the sitcom set up but like the Michigan State game being on the same day as the choir that is so that is the laziest fucking writing I've ever also I love that that's literally fucking Morton Mindy shit he's he's in

he's in Roarkin Mindy he's he's in that choir thing he's in lacrosse no one he never knows about this conflict though not Yeah, that's insane. Even the, even the teachers would know of this conflict, perhaps. Well, they keep saying it's Saturday, Saturday. He's just, I think that he's just too stupid to figure it out.

Yeah, he's done. Dumb big ox. Well, he's fucking up to his eyes and come, dude. He can't get laid. That's right. He's not thinking straight. You got to drain that shit. You got to get all the pastries you can find and make some fucking go to town.

Totally just fucking demolish a Dunkin' Donuts. You just take a regular donut. You make that a Boston. cream pie. It's not donuts. Eric, excuse me, his fod,

the family business is making subs. He's putting some special mayonnaise, some Ioli that, he's the air sub fucker.

He's the air to the blimpy franchise or something. Actually, Chris, you're out in Michigan right now. Is that sub country?

Are we talking, or is it a hoagies, grinders? You can see more hoagies out here. Yeah, I think subs is more, I don't know

where subs are, but I don't think they're Michigan. I don't think they're Michigan, sir. I mean, I don't know. I can't speak for like pockets of, you know, that's true. Up here. Grand Rapids, who knows? It's kind of a great, it looks like a sub shop that could be really close to a college campus

because it's got a cool name. It's called subculture. I like that. Pretty sharp little name. They probably play the cool alternative radio station in there, you know? Oh, yeah. They probably asked to Zingermans and they're like, no. No, you're not, you're not going to fill it. Ingrams is like, it's a famous sandwich shop.

And it's in Ann Arbor. And like, this is like the stupidest thing for me to remember. But Obama visited it and it was a huge press thing. And they named a fucking sandwich after Obama. Oh, really? It's an actually pretty good sandwich. But, yeah. It's a sandwich that you're like eating it the whole time and you think it's like a really good sandwich.

And then when the sandwich is gone, you're like, oh, actually, I never ate a sandwich at all. Just have diarrhea. just diarrhea all day. Nothing came of that sandwich. Yep, I know you thought it was a good sandwich that when I was in office, but I came in it and that's it. That sandwich had eight fucking years to codify abortion,

but it didn't. Couldn't be bothered. The sandwich couldn't be bothered. Way to go, sandwich. But yeah, so like Oz's as we're doing this sitcom shit where it's like, oh no, am I going to play the big game or do the big,

fucking a cappella recital with my girlfriend and he does the big game and she's disappointed and in the middle of it this coach who's got who is terrible and is out of nowhere and we're trying to do like there's a bit where like the assistant coach is kind of repeating stuff I'm like this is not this movie it's too late I kind of like hype guy dude what I got to say every time I hear culmination yes I laugh yes all right oh my god dude whenever I hear the word culmination in my head I'm like, culmination. So, you know, the funny thing is with this whole sitcom setup, he kind of gets to have it both ways

because he does stay in the game long enough where they kind of have, like, racked up the score a little bit because they're definitely doing a lot of like, we're kicking your ass and all this stuff, like really demolishing this other team. And then he decides to run to the choir recital. So, like, he kind of gets both, which is fine. I think that's a nice deal.

I think that's a good deal. You get to go and see your girlfriend after you run up the score on these Michigan State idiots. Well, the thing is you would think, I mean, if the movie was about them, there would be follow. Like, oh, the team is like disappointed in it.

You never hear about the team ever again. No, so it's just sort of like whatever. He's a, he's a, you know, a strapping young white man in the 90s. It turns out he could win and win and win and win. No problem.

So, yeah, he runs. to the campus and goes in and it's this hilarious, like, because he's running there, I guess the, the, the, the thing is he runs all the way from the field, so he's still got like the shoulder pads on,

he's running in cleats and whatever. But like, they've brought his outfit, because they're all, you know, the guys are wearing like, shirts and ties, jackets and stuff. And then magically Chris Klein, he's like, hey, I'm here, I can do the big, you know, he and me and Mino Suvari have been practicing

this duet and whatever, and he's just like, Now I can do the recital. And then, like, seconds later, seemingly with this editing, he's totally cleaned, you know, bathed, hairs, quaffed. You know, he's got the clothes. And I was like, who brought the... Clawthole! Clawthole!

Drive a truck to it. Well, a good joke would be, because there's another guy in the choir that's, like, kind of his rival who takes over the role once he says that he's going to play the game. Right. And that guy's kind of the same size as Chris Klein. And I was like, it would be funny.

if they made that guy take off his fucking clothes. And they just cut to like the wings of the theater. And the guy's just like in his boxers. It would have been kind of funny. Then Chris Klein could say hold my jock. Oh, yeah. Well, much like Adam Driver in Annette, it seems like Chris Klein is the rare lover of the backstage shower.

Because he's also, he's very, he looks like he's gotten a good shower in before he goes to stage. He's all dirtied up from the field. No, it's crazy. But so they sing that terrible fucking song. Oh, sure. By the way, boop, pop, bop it all over the place. It's fine.

I just want to say it's okay to like a song. I don't want to, you know. Yeah, and it's okay for me to fucking meet it. Yeah, I will say, I'm not a fan of this movie and the Acapella and helping shit. So there you go. Acapella. Never done. Not great.

I don't mind this song in its original iteration. But what I do really like about this scene is so like being the good friends that they are, Jim and Kevin go to the auditorium to like see Oz do this performance or whatever and I do love that it is just this like I mean it's a fucking a cappella recital so they're all just like yes oh very

appropriately clapping or whatever but then when they finish their song the two of them stand up like fuck yeah Oz you fucking rule that's just kind of a good good little good little laugh there but so that's that sort of

seals it up like she's happy with Oz again and because there was a moment where she was like, you were making fun of me with your lacrosse friends or whatever, which wasn't the case, a little bit of a misunderstanding there, but now they're all back to, we're going to the prom again and everything's fine. Shocked, we only get

a South Parkian gay in this movie as opposed to the full-blown F-bomb. Yeah, so there's that absolutely. If you would have asked me what I would have expected from this movie, neither of them are good, but I'm just shocked that we got the soft. That's gay. dude as opposed

to the full on. Yeah, no. This was the pivot because 1998, can't hardly wait, you are still using the F-bomb. You're totally right. And then this is the first one where they're like, hey, we're just going to be a little insensitive, okay? We're not going to go fall out. We're going to be shitty, not terrible. How's that? It's interesting

that we did keep doing it throughout American cinema, right? It wasn't a full pivot, but this movie as a big box comedy that historically would have been rampant with that shit. It is like sort of planting a flag like, see, you can do this movie

without that slur. I mean, yeah, Stiffler does say to Kevin Klein like, or Kevin Klein like, I went. He's just sitting at home watching In and Out game. The fuck did you say to me Stifler? Kevin Klein's trying to get with a high school choir girl.

No, he says to Chris Klein, he says, because he's singing again in the line. soccer room, you know, practicing his solo. And he says, what are you gay? And, like, not great. Obviously not. But, like, that's where it's left. And it's the only time that that happens. Like, when, when he first joins the choir and the three guys are in the back of the auditorium, like, you expect it to happen right there, too. But instead, it's really just Stifler being like, what the fuck are you doing this for? And that's, like, where it ends. I was totally surprised in that scene specifically. Very surprising. Four years later,

Freddie versus Jason will still drop the F-dom. I just think it's funny because it's like this movie has that pivot like you're saying, but then in the timeline when they would have graduated college, Freddie Kruger is still saying it or whatever.

Someone's calling Freddy Krueger. It's Kelly Rolland. Isn't it Kelly Rollins? Who says it? That's Fred Kruger. He ain't no homophones. But that tells you exactly where it went. It started becoming something more severe. It was for more severe movies.

Freddie and adjacent. Like, it started moving that way. Extreme. Extreme. Extreme slurs. Didn't someone say, too, though, that that is, or is this a contended thing maybe between, like, her and the screenwriters? Yeah, some people think that it's a, but of an improv.

Adlib. Yes. Oh, wow. Nobody wants to take credit for that one. You know. If you can believe it. We'll back away from the table for this. No, no, they did.

She ad-libbed it. But you know what? Yeah, and that meant I had to keep it in the movie. Exactly. yeah exactly yep yeah either way the the final cut was approved as is so uh you know a lot of people were wrong there so we get the uh big prom well yeah the the prom montage of them getting everything ready for their fuck night uh and they very nice uh mr levinstein moment here oh yeah yeah it's very sweet when before he sends him off i want you to be very very careful when you're putting on

the corsage. Much better than the time when he's telling him about how his uncle jacked off all the time. Oh my God. Your uncle, your uncle Mort five, six times a day. That's amazing. You can't look Uncle Mort in the fucking face again. Hopefully Uncle Mort's dead

because otherwise you can't be at a fucking dinner function with him again. Yeah, no, I can't get that information on a live relative. Please know. I beg. And, I mean, that, it's also a weird, it's not that same hallway conversation, but it's the weird one where they're looking at the family photo. And he's talking about, like, bouncing, you know, masturbation's like bouncing a ball against the wall. It's fun, but it's not a game.

Yes. You want a part. And it's a weird, he's trying to figure out, like, does my son only like jerk an offer? Is he interested in a sexual partner? Like, don't let him be a weird pie fucker, please. You see, Jim, in the Great Escape, when Steve McQueen's got that ball, he's just jerking off. He's just jerking off in his room. That's what half the Great Escape's about is jerking off.

What you want is a Nazi to chase you. But so, yeah, we get to prom. It's at the school. This fucking creepy prom band? Yeah. Very, very sinister looking. It's like a lynchian thing. It's weird as fuck.

A little bit. It's not explored enough. They should be playing the bar room. Like you want someone like sort of like, oh, man, this band sucks. Because other than that, I'm like, what are we talking about with this band? They're like, the guys wearing like a big fucking Kreskin-esque turban, like, you know what I mean? There's multiple Kreskin turbans. But you do, and you get one, you guys suck.

But it's not, you want to get a character to say. Exactly. Stifler to say it's, but it's just like some random ADR. You suck. And you want the thing where the band hears it. Because that's the other thing. It's just, I remember the moment. It's just a big wide shot of the auditorium

after they take a set break and someone's like, you guys suck, but like, yeah, have Stifler say it, have the guy in the fucking huge Creskin costume be like, oh, you know, like have his feelings hurt or something. But it is just, yeah, it's just a creepy.

Now, we had, we did not have a live band at our prom. We had a DJ. Yes. Thank God for that too. Jeez. Yes. I, I I can't. The wedding band for the prom? No, thank you. I can't be doing that. Either of you other gentlemen

attend prom? I did. I did not. I was there for the after party, man. Me too. Oh, yeah. Oh, that after party. Wild after party. Pretty wild. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It was actually kind of funny because our after prom thing, and Chris was

older than us, so he just came, which was nice, hanging out, even though it wasn't your senior prom, Chris was our chauffeur, which was great. He had a chauffeur hat, very funny. Oh, yeah. But it was, uh, the party was at a lake house. Oh, wow.

Did you drink any cum or? I don't, I don't, I don't think I drank any cum. I drank a lot of beer. I smoked up quite a bit. And then I fucking passed out on a deck chair outside. And this is like second week of May or something like that. I remember this. In upstate New York.

I fucking fell asleep outside. And it's. snowed and I was so passed out that I didn't wake up until my body was completely covered in snow. And I woke up and I was like, what's going on? What's happened? There was like a death

because this guy, much like you, Eric, this house was very close to a cliff. Yeah, yeah. And like all the cars were like right near, parked right near the cliff. So now all the snow and ice had built up and like you were just waiting for one of these cars to go down and just like go like

pure sweet hair after. That'd be awesome. drown a bunch of kids died this night of prom by all those kids I mean you guys sure yeah that would be nice but yeah fell asleep outside and got completely covered quick question is you guys have a an actual venue or was it school gymnasium

we had a venue is that you guys went to public school is that right? It was a public school there weren't even fucking stalls stalls for the toilets We had our gym. Yeah, they were. Yeah, the, all your stall doors were at our

They shipped them up up to out. Yeah. And every single day, it was like in all. Every single dance was just in the stupid fucking gym and who would want to fucking go. All the other dances were in our, our gymnasium, but the prom they they shelled out for, I guess. Somewhere near the edge.

I'm sure somebody got a fucking deal. Yeah, like so the Albany Convention Center. That sounds right. Nice room. Nice room, I have to say. But so there. prom yeah creepy prom band this is they have the big like jim and finch and oz are all over it and they tell kevin to go fuck himself and i'm cheering in my living because he's got this weird thing it's like you still got to do it guys and they're like what the fuck are you talking about what do you want me to fuck dude show me what do you want me to fuck it yeah what do you're gonna talk to finch about he just hot pooped himself out of ever getting laid i like he's got a nice little attitude with this when this speech happens. It's like, well, you know, at least I

learned out of shit in school. Yes. That's that. So he's not the only character besides Oz that does a little growing. See, now he can poop in public. Look at that. Good for him. And for a moment, you think, and Natasha Leon is very nice to give some a flask for a moment. Oh, yeah, that's very sweet. And I thought that was a nice. And it's that, again,

the movie does really well with her because she also does, uh, she very specific, but I'm not going to fuck you. You know what I mean? Like, yes. Because I do Like so many, not so many, like almost all of the women in this movie, literally except for her, are just like things to be got. You know what I mean? And she is the only one that actually doesn't. You know what I mean? And it is over it and like has had sex, is sex, you know, is sexually progressive.

And it's just sort of like, yeah, but none of these fucking dudes. And like, you know, like. I think it's literally her, Jim's mom and the fucking choir teacher. Yeah. I mean, they try with terrorita, except for like she trying to kind of just folds. Yes, yes, exactly. After she comes,

we didn't even talk about the scene where he goes down on her. He goes down on her. One good joke in that is the father coming upstairs in attention, and then she yells, I'm coming, and he assumes that, oh, she heard the dinner's ready. I can just go back back. But you're right. You're doing, you mentioned this, Andrew.

You're doing this like $4.54 on a Tuesday. Like, what the fuck are you people up to? I mean, you're. I mean, unless it's a thing where dangers your game, but, like, sure. You know, you're still coming in solo cups. You don't know what your game is yet, okay? Wait for fucking mom and dad to go to the brewers for fucking, you know, a bridge. And then you fuck.

Yep. Excuse me, though. He has to make three weeks happen here. That's, he doesn't have the, he has got a rush to baby. Gentlemen, we got to do it, guys. Guys, we got to get on it. You got all got your index cards. Get ready to wipe, brothers. Get ready to wipe.

God damn, that's disgusting I do love the other, it's so goofy and stupid, and it's not even, I don't think the actor doing it, I think they have like ADR of the dad just like humming his way, like up and down the stairs, just like a

like a real fucking dumbass kind of hum. It's sort of adds to the quaintness of it. He's about to walk in on his daughter having someone go downtown. God, what a daredevil. Unbelievable this kid. Good to do it.

like not even like oh man the dad's gonna beat you up then you have to be like you just getting caught and you're like yes sir i was yes sir sorry sir i will yeah i'm leaving now okay bye but it's just like you know okay fine fine fine you get caught in the bedroom or something and it's like you're you shouldn't be up here and you're just like talking on the bed one thing making out on the couch maybe that's one thing yeah you are face first in this dude's daughter's crotch okay like it's that dude's probably taken a swing all right or throw him down the stairs like taking your collar not great but then the next morning she's just got to deal with it you know what i mean like you can you pass the butter oh yeah you want the butter

to go down on you it's like what you know like that's where that's the rest of that and then she's like say and then there's more food fucking that's true oh like now it's a theme uh oh man speaking of fucking the multiple public humiliations in this movie boy the Shermanator gets his for telling tales out of school. The pissing of the pants was I was like, all right, it's too much, but it's fine. It's a little much, but we have to punish

liars. Yes. You know what? I was laughing. I was laughing a whole lot. And talk about not being able to come back from something, dude. If you fucking piss your pants at prom, guess what, you are not walking across that stage at graduation. Everyone now

has witnessed at least what happens with your P.P. Floppy cock and they don't want it. It made peepie down your pants. Like Steve, you mentioned if you, I think this was on our Thor 2 episode, yes. If you got caught in a Moby-esque Natalie Portman thing, people would find,

the next time someone would see you as a blurry photo pumping gas in Nevada. That's me if I piss my pants at prom. Like you would never see me again. That graduating class would be like, oh yeah, and then remember, Andrew Juppen he pissed his pants at prom and then promptly died that. Like, you know, like, they would think I was dead.

They'd fucking never see me again. Yeah, the fucking car would blow up in the parking lot. Mom, Dad, you're just going to have Thanksgiving alone for the next couple years. At least a decade. At least a decade. You know what? Just wait until I can go, you know, I'll graduate college. I'll go get set up at an apartment.

And then you to me. You can come to me for Thanksgiving. Oh, man. So, yeah, so they do. They're finally like, you know, we're sick and tired of this shit, dude. Like, fuck you, Kevin. And they all kind of, like, walk out on him, which is pretty sweet,

except for, like, 75 seconds later they make up. Yes, of course. And it's, and it's, I got to end the movie. Because he's like, oh, I think I'm just scared, blah, blah, blah. And this is the montage where all at St. And here's the thing about Stifler's house and after party. And I'm going to, you know, your epic after party, Andrew. Was there a loner, bizarre, alcoholic mom?

stalking around the house or no no it was a straight up the guys parents uh had like a spring and summer home in vermont or something and so they were like nowhere to be found yeah and it was kids kids kids ruled the day that night kid power it was like so it sounds like you didn't go to the seduction dungeon like i did yeah the the dad was there and he was uh he was piped up he was really piped up So he really got you there, didn't he? Well, no, I walked out as soon as I saw him. He had a very husky voice and I knew there was danger.

Wait, are you kidding me? Was that dude's dad there? No, I'm joking. Oh, I was like, wow, I fucking miss that. But I mean, like, that's the thing is like, it's not a cool party if your mom is there. You know what I mean? She's hiding in the basement. It's just this finch is a snooper. But what's also interesting is like, yes, all these kids come to our house. And yeah, fucking every single bed room. I can't wait.

I can't wait to clean fucking 40 cummy sheets tomorrow. Exactly. Find fucking all the cups and socks and blankets and fucking Teddy bears. Man, welcome to managing an Airbnb. What do you think those fucking people are doing? But you're also missing the fact that clearly the stiflers have a maid. They don't deal with their own laundry.

That's not happening. This is all taking care of. The cum stains are going to be dealt with by their maids. Hang it, so let me ask you this, though, Steve, what, and, you know, the rest of the group to respond here, what is weirder at this post-prong party where everybody's fucking and suck until the sun comes up? Stifler's mom hiding out in a room that does indeed say, do not enter. She should have locked that door, but what are you going to do? I think that's maybe part of her trap.

But so is it that, or is it the younger of the, a stiff more offspring hiding in closets hoping to get a peep and then he's like you're fucking fucking fucking fucking fuckers and like that kid Thomasy and Nichols I guess because you're 17 18 you know you're you're always getting a I wouldn't get hard

for a week after seeing that fucking little nightmare kid you know what I mean no fucking pet cemetery you're trying to get down your lady it's been it's been a rough month and then suddenly a disgusting little shit boy jumps out of the closet it like a fucking nightmare. Yes.

Fucking fucking you fuck now. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. You fuckers. You fuckers. Uncle Scrooge you doctor. Oh, that was Tom Holland. His first film credit. Oh.

I'm actually trying to find the younger Stifler on IMDB because I want to see. I've already done this. It's not the same kid. Oh, it's not the same guy. I couldn't find that kid because the cast list is really long and disorganized because it's fucking IMDB. He does apparently return for American Pie 2, according to his eye. Oh, that's good.

Yeah, but it looks like that's it. It's a recast when they do the old, when he becomes the series lead. Yeah, when he fucking takes up the mantle of town pervert or whatever. But now everybody's getting it. This, of course, the one time at band camp thing happens here where, you know, the funny. And Allison Hattigning is straight up really, really fucking funny in this movie, too. Oh, my God. She's so funny.

This is what she's working on Buffy. She's doing both. She's always had a really good handle on comedy. So if they're making, so what is the timeline here, Steve? What are we talking? Like season two or three of Buffy is on the air? It's probably two or three if I had to guess. And she's just, you know, one time of telling these really long inane stories.

And the last one is a stuck of flute by Bussy. And then it's like, wait, what? Wait, what? It's like, wait, you're a girl and you have that? You want sex? I don't have to, like, take it from you. Oh, no. She does, I mean, she does have the great line of, like, you were an easy mark or whatever, you know, kind of.

It's a nice twist because, like, you know, obviously, like, he's settling for her and he's like, oh, I guess I will. But you find out she's really settling for him. The settling, we've walked away from probably the most halting moment is, uh, I don't know. I mean, I guess you could call this either way. But when Eugene Levy is sending him off, he asks, she must be a very special girl. And Jim says, oh, she's special.

Uh-huh. Yes. Yep. Yep. Yeah. That's a, yeah. Yeah, great. That is a masked. Yeah. And he would later... I'm very glad that this guy is now getting to have sex with this woman. Not only that. Don't they get married

in the franchise? Yes. They do. They're the true loves. And Stifler lads a Betty Draper. Or no, a January Jones is yes yeah yeah you know what maybe every summer we'll we'll do American pie because I got to rewatch this oh yeah let's just make my life worse let's figure out how to do it fucking terrifying VHS trailer game

nothing but trouble plus all the American time everything Steve's been lobbying for for the last five years you want to come in my house and take my whiskey you want to do you anyone want to come back I'm actually out right now so I might okay good and then like so everyone starts having sex there's a great needle drop here by the way ever clears everything to everyone great tune and the the the jim and michelstein is the funniest because she's like super aggressive

and apparently it was improvised when she says say my name bitch it's just kind of amazing does she slap him in the face i'm trying no she just screams oh maybe she does i don't know she does i think she does yeah and just say my name bitch uh which is humorous and then do us and minasavari not have sex is that it no they have no they do they do but they do that's right he does the at the hot dog stand the next morning he does the gentlemanly thing of he says to them that they didn't do it yes yeah so as to not brag and whatnot because of the storyline they give them a very nicholas sparks-esque love scene like he's pulling the fucking little covers over his oh yeah they're they're fucking out by like this boathouse thing or

And then, like, post-coital, they're just in this chair sitting on a dock. Got to say, pretty saucy stuff, pretty romantic. L.L. Bean, you should be picking that chair. This is how you sell those fucking blankets. Get them out the stores. Well, it's the American Pie Fuck Blanket from L.L. Bean. Well, I mean, this movie kind of reminded me, which is not a great documentary that, the Abercrombie and Fitch documentary about how white that company was.

You know what I mean? Like, oh, I keep hearing about that. I haven't seen it anymore. It's like the footage is good. the story is good the documentary isn't great one of those you know I hate when that happens with documentaries a wasted story on a bad doc

damn it but long story short it's a very white situation and so whatever and then like Kevin and his and Tara Reid have sex and it's like we're talking about the pain of it that's kind of what's going on there and like they kind of break up right afterwards

because they're and it's kind of a nice like Vicky's just like hey you know I'm going to school in western New York, you're going to school and like whatever, like Northern Michigan or something like, you would have to I think Natasha Leon says at one point like, yeah, it's a seven hour drive and you've got to

go through Canada and all this shit. So she's Vicki's like, it just is not logical to do this and he for a second tries to do the like, oh, we can try and then she's like, no, definitely not. And he's like, yeah, you're right. Like it's a nice like, yeah. Yeah, let's just kind of like let this mutually

fizzle out. No, Kevin. Just wait for Thanksgiving. We'll get drunk can have sex again we'll revisit for every time I come back for the holidays that is kind of what winds up happening I think in these I can't wait to find out next summer

I can't wait to find out next summer Steve next summer do you know what happens next summer Steve Jim glues his hand to his dick with suit and that's gonna be so would you believe that Steve? I can't wait to believe it you will believe a kid

can be that fucking stupid we should just dedicate a month to like the Caribbean Pirates of the Caribbean movie Yeah, that's a great idea because then the American wedding I remember seeing that and one thing that, the only thing that stuck

the only thing I remember about that movie at all is like he trims his pubs on his wedding day or something and they fly on the cake. They do indeed. So we got a pub cake. Oh yes. You got that, Steve? You got the grandmother. I do love that. I love it. The grandmother is upset

that Allison Hannigan is not Jewish and fucking flips out about that at one point. kind of cool that we're at least acknowledging that you know, that's what the character is. Yeah, that's something. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, totally. Yeah, so they broke up and then I love Jim waking up and the fucking blow up dinosaurs

next to him instead. And she's just totally bolted. We don't see her in the rest of the movie. Like, that's it for Michelle for now. And he's like, she used me. She used me. She used me. I made my parents disappear. Yeah, totally.

Totally. I was used. And Finch and Jennifer Coolidge. Not enough for Jennifer Coolidge to do in this movie. Jennifer Coolidge, who is fucking hilarious. So good. Everything's, in everything she does accept this movie. She didn't really make me laugh here. I don't know. I mean, I think she comes in and does a great keyboard solo and leaves. Yeah. She comes in. I think she's all it needs to be. Yeah, exactly. That's kind of what I like about it. It's like she was still, I mean, like she hadn't, I think

Legally Blonde's next year. And that's where she really takes off and the best in shows like the year after that. Yes. But, like, this, I was like, this is exactly like, because you would usually get, you would, I mean, I don't think they, they picked a comedian. Yes. And they didn't go like purely for like, let's just get hot. Like Shannon Tweed or something. Yeah, yeah, something stupid like that. No, she's very funny in this little scene with him.

I will say when she says age 18 years, as I like it, my hair blew back like the Max L tapes. It's really, it's really something. And, like, lady, you got to check IDs. Like, if you're really, if you're really looking at fucking skirt in that line, like, you're going to fuck something. You're going to fuck your son's little school friend. A lot of those kids are 17. There's a lot of fucking November birthdays at your party.

So you really got to be careful. She's walking the line with this one. But she's in all those sequels. So I can't say, I can't wait to see what she gets up to next. Me too. There is a great, like, when he first walks into the room, like, she's like, Yeah, like, it's a billiards room. And she's just sitting in a chair kind of sipping on some, some scotch.

And, you know, he's like, oh, Stifler's mom. Oh, I'm sorry, blah, blah, blah. And she says something about like, so, where's your little date tonight? He goes, no date. There was a bathroom incident. And what's awesome is the way that Jennifer Coolidge plays getting that piece of information, she's like, oh, I totally understand it. It's a, she doesn't say anything, but it's just the way that she,

like hears him and then is like I've been there or something like that it's so fucking great she's such a genius and I think I think she does bring it in this scene I just think that she's playing it a little smokier than we're used to her being it's not on my top five for her

which is it's kind of about a little bit of all of its own yeah fucking yeah I mean because this is it's not the you know the loud you know bombastic doing a voice maybe with your character heard white lotus that we know fucking John Grice

and thinking he's part of Black Lives Matter is just the funniest thing. Yeah. Oh my God. Oh, I hope she fucking wins that Emmy she got nominated for. Yeah, so that they just

do have a lot of sexes. She says something about, I don't know what her question is to him, but he says, yes, ma'am, I am. And they like get, get it out. Well, it's kind of funny. It's seducing me, like the, oh, the graduate line.

That's right. Eddie K. Thomas was the youngest of the, I think, of the boys in the movie, and he was like 17. So that's why they don't film anything. It's just, they just stand up, you hear some stuff, and then like later, Stifler walks in. And it's all, Sean William Scott is like, oh, hello there, you know, that kind of thing. Yes, you don't hear anything. And it's actually, it's a good use of some folly sounds because she sort of, she gets up and walks toward the pool table and grabs him by the arm. and it's kind of like a whoa

and like she pulls him out of the frame and then once he's out of the frame you hear a bunch of pool balls clacking together I thought that was pretty good messing up the table and then Stiffler yeah Stifler walks in on them and it's just like hey Stifler

because yeah you can't film him collecting his underwear and running like a maniac out of window Stiffler fucking passes out though which is pretty funny and then yeah we all have post-coital hot dogs boys as

hell yeah as you should should, as you should have Diet Coke and hot dogs with your boys every time you have sex. It sounds like it's a good routine to get into. Hell yeah, man, you just got laid. You go out for a couple of dogs. That's the problem, man.

You guys all move too far away. I can't get up to it. I know. Damn. I'm sorry. Fuck, Ray. Yeah, you just go. You're like, sorry, honey, you got to go. I'm getting dogs with the boys. We're still in bed. We're just happened. You get three notifications. in one day and you're like, okay, I can't

have sex today. I just had three hot dog meals because they all had sex. The boys needed it. The gentlemen, I'll meet you at the hot dog restaurant. What do you mean you're not coming? There was a hot dog packed about sex. Whenever you have sex,

we have to get a hot dog. It's enough, Kevin. Oh, dude. Oh, man. Jim did anil last night. Chili dogs all around, my friend. Oh, my God. sloppy chili dogs sloping up

and you don't know you don't know who went where by the way in that anal you'll never figure it out you'll never know you'll never know actually I will but when I install those cameras

because I'm a geek squad nightmare that's he is a geek squad nightmare thank you for elucidating it absolutely I have a little extra alert here there is a shot

one of the angles where they're filming the guys at the table. There's a shot where the left side of the frame is Chris Klein and the right side of the frame I think is Thomasian Nicholas. And precisely in the middle of it. So these boys are on the edges

of the frame, leaving plenty of space in the middle for this guy behind them. You see him like, tons of ketchup, tons of mustard. And then like when it cuts back to him, it's just, you're watching this old guy he's got like long hair, maybe it's a ponytail and he's just like eating this

hot dog, like slowly putting this hot dog in his mouth, amazing extra work. That's my order to do, a lot of ketchup, a lot of mustard. Yeah. That's your post dog. Kevin kind of has

some other fucking bullshit thing here because it ends with like he raises a glass of soda like to the next step and I'd just be like piece of shit. You know, we were all trying to have our post-coital hot dogs and Kevin's making toasts with soda cups. God damn that guy

sucks. Can we just stop it by him to stuff his mother you know his mother is so nice we can't I'm sorry guys it's always so nice to us shit the most improbable part of this movie is that we have

like a little sort of coda here at the end where somehow even after humiliating her over the internet and getting her deported Nadia is cool to log on with Jim and have another strip tease session where Jim's dancing

in front of the camera. Like, I'd be like, I never talk to Jim again. Jim get me deported and ruined life. Jim ruined my life. I was supposed to get scholarship to American college. Now I peel potato for rest of life.

No more ballet for me. No, like, this is how, like, insecure are about these final seeds, is that you have to put the two most popular songs at the time back to back to fucking, dude, it's a semi-charmed kind of life.

And, uh, reprised of, yeah, reprised of one week. Well, that's a weird part too, because like, it's so choppy at the end. It's like, Stifler walks in on him, hot dog seed. Now, because you want to end on a joke, it's Jim and, uh, Jim and Nadia. And then his dad is dancing in the hall, like, because he tested well. Well, because the dad now, he's, you know, he won fuck. Now, daddy want fuck. Oh, yeah.

Oh, daddy wants to love. So he sees his son dancing with his shirt off. He's like, say, now I'm getting an erection. Better cha-cha down the hallway. Yeah. Do you think it's that or do you think he's like, look at the cool moves of my son. If that gets that model who's for some reason interested in my boy, Horny,

maybe it'll get the Mrs. Horny. Dare. Him dancing, though, is fucking funny. But you're right, though, Steve. It is because he tested well. I didn't check the haircut situation there, but we should have been looking for some reshoots

or extra scene kind of haircuts here. But that's pretty much it. That's the end of the movie. He dances away. That's it. The thing about all the needle drops. Oh, yeah. The thing about the needle drops, we're talking here about the back-to-back music, it gets even more convoluted in the montage

where they are all having sex because they give each of them their own song. Yes. So each storyline has its own song. But so when they cut between them, though, it's just like some asshole changing the presets on your radio to different stations. And it keeps going back to it. And it's not a great way.

The editing in this movie is uniquely bad, I think. Yeah, it's not great. But I just like the idea of like Bear Naked Ladies, parentheses, Jim's theme. Exactly. But yes, that is the end of it. the movie go around the horn here chris cabin will start with you recommendations and final thoughts i have to recommend especially if you haven't seen it i kind of think you have to see it the way i you have to see animal house or caddyshack to understand the comedy i mean i do think there are

genuinely funny parts to this movie but i think it's a good temperature of what 1999 was like as far as where we were changing things that where comedy was going with uh gross out stuff but nothing I mean, there's a lot of stuff here. I was like, eh, that's not great. Oh, boy. Okay. And like the whole time.

But like, it is still funny. And there are certain performances that I think are very warm and well done. And yeah, I would say recommend light. Eric Siska. I am basically going to agree with Chris. It's a light recommend for me.

Obviously there's stuff that's not great here. But there is genuine moments of funny shit in this movie. So, you know, I have to kind of lightly recommend it because Jim's dad tested well. Steve? Yeah, it's a no for me. Not a huge shock. I've never liked this movie. This afternoon didn't change my opinion.

I threw up my mouth a little bit when Chris Cabin compared it to Caddyshack. That's okay. We'll just do that. That's fine. I'm doing it. Yeah. Yeah, Chevy Chase, Bill Murray, Jason Biggs, Chris Klein, all the same. You're totally right.

I get what you mean by the the cultural impact of the movie it is one of those movies for sure I've never liked the dudes I've got a couple laughs out of there there's some funny performances strewn throughout this movie but that does not a good movie make

and it just yeah no thanks well also Caddy Shack Animal House have similar scenes where you watch it today like Jesus oh yes how did we get away with that I got an idea. Maybe this will be an interesting project. We go through all of these movies, Steve,

and then we go back to this one and then see what you think after you watch. What if we watch it once a month? Is that something we could do? Oh, there you go. Yeah, after we'll have sex. All right, guys, remember, every time you get laid,

we got to meet up and watch fucking American while we're gnashing on dogs. Just a couple of buds, come drunk, munching on some dogs. watching American Pie. You know how it goes. Yes, boys do. I would recommend this movie. It's a light recommend, but

I'm with Chris Cabin on this. I think it's an interesting cultural artifact, too, because this is like, like, because Can't Hardly Wait the year before, it's not quite the same thing. No. Like, Can't Hardly Wait is

way more towards a John Hughes type thing, but this is more the like return to a boob comedy thing, like what the 90s were doing with like gross out boob comedy stuff and you think about shit that was like around in the 90s also, I mean, you'll

be surprised to know National Lampoon was still making movies this whole time. And you had shit like senior trip and the Stone Age and all those kinds of things. And this was like such a massive sensation. I mean, this exploded. This is what, I mean this movie, Ryan

Reynolds can kind of thank this movie for having a career because without this movie, you don't have Van Wilder. That's true. And Van Wilder just had that dude, like, obviously explode. I know he was on Two Guys a Girl or Pizza Place before that, but, like, he exploded as Van Wilder. And I don't think Van Wilder gets made without this movie.

So it's just kind of an interesting cultural thing. And there are some laughs. But, I mean, yes, there are also a lot of things that don't hold up. I mean, shit, like, the whole web stream thing is abhorrent. And, like, you know, you just, we were not thinking in terms of shit like that back then. unfortunately and it's played as funny and it's not it's really fucking gross but there are laughs here

so you know if you haven't seen it yet check it out I you know I can't necessarily recommend really jumping into the whole franchise but we will be on this that's right next summer to Steve Chagrin oh yeah it's

it's interesting that this comes I think it's this is the same year as 10 things I hate about you and oh which is I think think of a much better, much, much better movie. But also, that kicks off the whole let's let's take on Shakespeare and start doing that as modern ideas.

It's funny that they both kind of came out the same time. They both were so seismic as far as influence goes. Right. And you are right, by the way. Ten Things Hate About You, 1999. That is going to do it for this episode of We Hate Movies, folks. That is American Pie.

If you want more We Hate Movies, of course, check out patreon.com slash we hate movies where this month there is a lot of stuff going on here including a full length two and a half hour we love movies episode all about my and some of your other favorite

MCU movies, Iron Man 3 so we got that going on we got Melro 210 Steve Sanders centric BH 90210 which is nice we got a weird what do you call it there a tombstone-esque

original series episode of Star Trek? Right, Specter of the Gun, the classic TOS episode appearing on the Nexus this month. And who are we doing on the Gleap Glossary? That's our Star Wars That's right. So if you ever wanted to hear about

Forlom, which I understand you don't know what that is, and that's fine. That's why you're going to listen to the Gleap Glossary, our Star Wars show. I'm going to tell you and the guys what Forlom is. Can't wait. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. So all that and more, patreon.com slash we hate movies. Now, Steve, on the main feed here, I hear that there's a new episode next week.

There is, and it is indeed, the season finale of We Hate Movies. Season 12 is coming to an end. Oh, my God. With. Oh, fuck. The Lost Boys. Ooh, spooky ending to the season. I love it.

Get your body grease and your saxophone. Hell yeah, hell yeah. I will say right now, I'm fine, of course, because I'm a level-headed adult with this movie, The Lost Boys, being on the H-Feed here, but this would have been a WLM for me. I really like this movie. It'll be a lot of fun to talk about. Absolutely. Maybe a little bit of a nostalgia thing, but I do like the movie.

Yes, I remember really liking it back in the day. Haven't seen it in forever, so we'll see what happens next week. Yeah, so until next week where we're playing the saxophone, greased up on the boardwalk. I'm Andrew Juppin. Steven Sadeh. Eric Siska, Chris Gavin. Take it easy.