We Hate Movies - S12 Ep625: Robocop 3 (Live in Detroit)

Episode Date: August 9, 2022

Recorded live at the Majestic Theatre, October 16, 2021, in Detroit, MI On this week's show, the guys are still on vacation, so they are once again unlocking the WHM vault present to you this super-fun show from last year where the topic of conversation was the crummy sequel, Robocop 3! Why did they need to add rockets and make Murphy fly? Shouldn't this film have just been about Robocop training the next generation of robotic law enforcement? And should Murphy really have been filming Lewis's death like that? PLUS: The exciting, nail-biting finale of the VHS TRAILER GAME!  Robocop 3 stars Robert John Burke, Nancy Allen, Mario Machado, Remy Ryan, Rip Torn, John Castle, CCH Pounder, Stephen Root, Daniel von Bargen, Stanley Anderson, and screen legend Mako as Kanemitsu; directed by Fred Dekker. Check out the WHM Merch Store -- featuring new Seagal Sucks, MINGO!, WHAT IF Donna?, Mortal Kombat & Bean Dinner designs! Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

POMAYOR. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. We're going to be. We're going to be. We're going to be.

We're going to be. .. ...when ... ... ... ... ...

... ... vacation is in full swing y'all oh my god look at us all in our bathing suits oh man hell yeah relaxing snack town that damn podcast work will never find us here Eric let me just tighten up this shark fin suit you've got on the back here we're going to give these kids what's for oh yeah totally get that fin on are you guys don't Don't touch the blowhole. Are you guys totally relaxed?

You guys are absolutely relaxed. Yeah. Oh, yeah, dude. That's awesome. Yeah. We're finally free. Before we introduce Robocop 3, I just wanted to hit play really quickly. Fuck.

Son of a God. Coming soon to theater. Oh, we're going to get a break. It is the VHS trailer game season finale, ladies and gentlemen. I'm going to walk into the ocean. I have the J-master. You stay there. You can sit on a buoy if you need to.

I am the Jame Master and these are my clues. This is a, we've been building up this all season where there's never any rest here on We Hate Movies because we always need to be working. Sure. That's right.

Apparently. So here we go. This is it. This is the, for all the marbles here. Oh, wait, hang on. Let me just open this huge can of wine. This is for all the marbles.

A can of wine, huh? All the marbles. Two glasses at once, dude. For all the, the marbles he keeps saying. So this is the finale. This is the ending. Is it one question? That's what I was wondering. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's going to be really long.

No, it's not going to be that long. But it will be there's going to be three rounds. Okay. And right now, currently, Chris is in the lead with 64 points. What is Sharon? Eric is within striking distance. Is that even mathematically possible with your draconian point system?

51 points for Eric. And then Andrew might as well keep drinking that wine he's got 44 points you know what Steve I'm just happy to be here I'm glad you're here dude I'm very glad you're here now as we know

sadly if Chris wins the first episode we will do coming back will be nothing but trouble and there will be a cameo as well but if Eric or Andrew pull this out Chris gets blocked and they get to use the cameo fund for their own evil devices

so I'm super excited about That's where we ready to go? Yes. There will be no, nothing but trouble episodes. Exactly. Giving people a chance to root for Chris, I guess. There is. Just a quick FYI.

The point system goes, it's five points for my first clue, four points for my second, third, two, one for, it's only five clues. You will, as you know, if you buzz in incorrectly or out for that round, but you can come back in the next one. Everybody knows that stuff, right? Sure. So, Chris gets one more.

we can just, like, call the game and walk all in to the, you know. Nope, nope, nope, nope, we're going to do. I spent a lot of time this afternoon doing this, so we're all going to do it together. A lot of time. Okay. Here we go. Round one. So this is for Robocop 3, which is our live episode, which we did in, oh God.

Detroit. Detroit, of course. It's not so hard to think about it. It really is. You think that sound check guy is still upset that we played his venue? I think he is. There was a guy that didn't like us, but that's not too uncommon. This morning, he was just talking to the wife being like, I can't those kids a year ago or something

like that. I just fucking hate him so much. Oh, hey, man. Fucking boomers will hold a grudge. They will, indeed. They will. They will. And I should mention quickly that venue, beautiful theater, you might not hear the laughs

as much as a comedy club because it's a big theater. And I want to contextualize that for folks at home because I feel like that's sometimes lost on people. Ladies and gentlemen, people were laughing. They were laughing. I tell you, they were laughing at there. Not that boomer tech, but everybody else was laughing there. So this is around, this is Robocop 3.

So these are VHS trailers off of Robocop 3 for context. For you, gentlemen, 1993 is what we're talking about here. Christ almighty. It's a big one. Round one, Game Master's Clue. an adorable sequel to a deadly coming of age story. This time we're visiting Los Angeles. Eric Siska.

I probably didn't get it right now that you said Los Angeles. I was going to say My Girl 2. You are correct with My Girl 2. Eric Siska's got 56 big points. I'm shocked. The Los Angeles thing would have, if I had waited a second longer folks at home, I would have been like, well, that's not it.

He would have mentioned the bees or something instead. No, the bees are part one, dude. And starring the little shit boy in that movie is our favorite little shit boy, Austin O'Brien, coming back. Wooing Ms. Anna Chlompsky in that one. You think you ever called her for a beep roll, probably? Sure. Yeah, like a role in the catering department or something? If I had that connection to her, I'd bother her.

Sure. For all sorts of reasons. Okay, round two. Game Masters. Klu, a spooky story directed by a master of horror about a pen name come to life.

Chris Cabin. That's the dark half? That is the dark half for five big points. Andrew is just right behind him, sadly. So it's the game's over now, right? It is not. It is not. Last one.

Round three. Game Master Here's Clue. A warm comedy that found a massively talented actor in the employ of an older lady played by a screen legend. A warm comedy that found a massively talented actor in the employ of a powerful... That's Andrew Juppen. Driving Miss Daisy? Incorrect.

Chris Cabin. Is that guarding Tess? It is guarding Tess. Massively talented. Nicholas Cage. Nicholas Cage. Oh, yeah, Chris Cabinow is 74, Eric is 56, and Andrew still has 44.

But, uh-oh, it's the lightning round. This is DVD. It's the DVD trailer game, which makes its appearance only once a year where the media is smaller. The features are special, and the points are double. Wow.

So people are still in the game here. If somebody could sweep, somebody could definitely sweep Chris right out of this motherfucker. I don't believe you. Crystal S-74, Eric 56, and Andrew 44. Here we go. Now, this is a, and by the way, this is a get ready for action. This was on the Robocop DVD, and it was just like a mishmash montage of action movies.

So that's kind of your clue here. Because it's a mishmash, I will be giving you the year the movie came out. Okay. So number one, round one, starting at 10 points, from 19. 1998, Game Master's Clue, a European set spy thriller filled with car chases that sports a cool title that kind of doesn't mean anything. That's Eric Siska. Mission Impossible? That is not Mission Impossible.

Unfortunately. I think your clue described Mission Impossible. I think the folks at home would agree. Big applause. Oh, no, they're laughing. Eric. You just can't hear it. It's a big room.

A European set spy thriller. filled with car chases that sports a cool title that kind of doesn't mean anything. Chris Cabin. Ronan? It is Ronan for 10 big points. Nice.

That's 84 for Chris. Sorry, Andrew, it came in just behind him yet again. Well, I would argue Ronan, the title makes more sense, you know,

the masterless samurai than Mission Impossible. How does that mean anything? I do have to admit, that threw me. It was all the car chase talk. I was like, what has a bunch of,

oh, that has Ronan. The title doesn't mean anything because also, spoiler alert for that movie, what do you call it there? Robert Deere is still working with the U.S. government, so it doesn't made anything. That's why he was written by a professor at Purchase College. Yes. It was indeed. That was part of the trivia, my friends.

Okay. Okay. For 2002, here we go. Game Master's Clue, even Madonna singing the title couldn't elevate this action sequel, nor proposed spinoff of the sex. Character deduce, that's Andrew Juppin. Fucking finally die another day. It is Die Another Day previous episode. That is one of the absolute worst bond songs.

It is. Hands down. Fucking terrible. Yeah. It's that and the Billy Elish one. I really do not like the Billy Elish one. Don't care for it. I still have not seen that last movie.

Is that where she's coming from? Yeah, that's the one. That goes like 16th, so it would have to. be that one. She was like four doing the Golden Eye theme. Yeah. She was a prodigy. Of course.

And got no time to die. And I like her music well enough, you know, but like, nah. Oh my God. Yeah, she was born in 2001. Yeah, dude. That'll fucking sting. No, Golden. She wasn't even come yet when Golden

I was in. Mm-hmm. Great way to put that. Last round here, before we get taken off the air. You can take anything off the air. Game Masters Clue. A disastrous comic book adaptation from a comic no one's ever heard of led to this East Meets West bomb where in a legendary Hong Kong actor had to show a plucky white comedy star, The Ropes.

Huh. Did we get a year on this? guy? Oh, I apologize. 2003. I will re-read the clue. A disastrous comic book adaptation from a comic book no one's ever heard of. It led to this East Meets West bomb

wherein a legendary Hong Kong actor had to show a plucky white comedy star of the ropes. You'll remember the movie, but you won't remember the title. Eric Siski. All right, I'm going to get this wrong, but Shanghai Noon? It is not Shanghai Noon. I can't

think of the fucking first word of the title Is it thaw? It is actually not the Spoiler alert. Tribune trivia. So 10 points are off the board sadly. Mr. Funktastic's chest tattoo with his name

reads Mr. Fucktastic Without the end. Another piece of trivia this movie is currently on Tooby. Somebody put that on the IMDB trivia which I really appreciated. They put that on the trivia? They did put that on the trivia which is my fucking funny.

I know, Andrew. Andrew Shupin. Bulletproof monk? Bulletproof monk is correct. For eight large points. Good for you. I saw that in the theater. I had the fucking monk part, dude.

And I was like, what the fuck? Other part of the fucking title that stupid movie I never saw. American Pie presents Bulletproof Mon. So that actually puts Andrew in second place, putting Eric in fucking third place. But Chris is in first.

So Chris is 84. Andrew finishes 62 after a strong showing, and Eric has 56 points. So I know what's going to happen. Oh, no. You know what you're going to do? What am I going to do? You're going to watch nothing but trouble

and you're going to talk about it extensively. Did we really find out a way to make me last place after being second place the entire fucking... I mean, you found a way... Life found away here, dude. Well, I'm in last place again, folks. So next season, we will initiate the, it's going to be my version of the

2024 election. We're going to stop the steal before it happens. Got it. I do, yeah, sadly, bulletproof monk. Fucked you, dude. Sorry, you got fucked with a bulletproof monk. Yeah. And you.

And me, yes. So that's exciting. There we go. I think that when we record the episode on Nothing But Trouble The three of us are going to have to be dressed like Christian Bale When he kills Jared Leto in American Slocke. Just like these fucking raincoats on Because when Steve starts puking all over the studio

Christ It's going to be great It's just going to be like I'm just not going to have an erection for like four weeks It's going to be fucking cool to watch that movie Especially when I just especially when I just start texting you grease babies

every once in a while. So I guess our first episode in September will be nothing but trouble. So now you know that. And Chris Cabot a little round of applause. Come on. Thank you. And he does get to

use the cameo slush fund. I'm sure Chris has some ideas. I'm really excited. Last time was Ernie Hudson, which was a bit of a banger. Don't know if I'm going to be able to top that one. Like, as far as delivery, like, just general, like, could not care less of what he was doing, nor who was telling him to do it. That is a special energy that only Ernie Hudson can really put out there, and I was glad we got it. It's pretty extraordinary.

It is pretty extraordinary, Ernie. So that is the VHS trailer game, season 12. For now, we will be back bigger and better next year, season 13. Lucky 13 for Erickusk, I believe. That's the way I'm calling it. I'm predicting it. I'm predicting I will literally never win in the entire history. But that's fine.

Dude, I don't know why you're complaining, man. I'm not winning either. So stop acting like you're all alone. I'm making it. I'm making content right now. Yes. Speaking of content, by the way, we got a whole show for you here lined up ready to go. This is us talking Robocop 3, a really trash movie, but it was a really fun show.

Beautiful old theater in Detroit, Michigan. Thanks a lot to all the folks in Motor City, you came out, except with that fucking tech that hated our guts. Now please enjoy Robocop 3 live in Detroit. My love is making music with my friends. And I can't wait to get on the road again. On the road again. Just can't wait to get on the road again. Oh, yeah.

There it is. There we are yet. There's shift right there. My boy need his juice. Yes, the pinking juice. oh my god is on the road game can you even believe it motor city what is happening hi who i'm so pumped i don't even want to sit down but i'm gonna do it just go back and forth i was gonna but i'm also you know drunk and lazy so well that's

excellent we like to do like regional jokes and stuff so i just want to be really really clear before we get too deep in it. There's no robotic cops in the audience, right? You should show yourselves. If you're a cop, you have to tell us. That is true. Just a robotic cop. I don't give a shit if you're a flesh and blood police officer.

That's, you know, whatever. But the robots, that's a problem. I found that show very offensive. I mean, can they really do that voice? Could you at least send back the silver? well done dude well done thank you

Detroit thank you so much for coming out this evening how are y'all doing all right we are so excited to be doing this again it's been two years since we've been on the road so this has been

quite an excellent few days but thank you so much for coming out thank you for doing your part to be here thank you for getting vaccinated i mean we're all doing our part really guys thank you we're living in a society and we're trying as best we can to not be assholes about it.

Yeah, this was booked in 2019. My beard had much more brown in it back then, I feel. I don't know, you want to see if we can give it a whirl? Sure, see what the fuck happens? All right, cool. All right, here we go. My name is Andrew Juppen. I'm Chris Cabin. Eric Siska. Stephen Sadegh. And we are Wee Hey Movies from New York City.

Thanks so much for coming out. You know, when we hit the road, you know, we try to do things that are like geographically appropriate and, you know, we figured, what the hell, Robocop, right? He was like mayor here for a while, I think was the idea? Yeah, sure. But I guess Robocop 3, we should have done it at Atlanta, Georgia. Yeah, not filmed on location. Now, this was a question we actually had, and so we'll throw it out to you all here, because you'll know. What the fuck ever happened to that statue of him?

still being built. That sounds like the mafia took your money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You handed, oh, we got a construction. Oh, yeah, yeah, we're doing the Robocop statue. Joey, let's leave. But it's amazing. I mean, these stories shared between cities because the

mafia in New York held up the building of the Freedom Tower. And the mafia here in Detroit is holding up building the Robocop statue. It's unbelievable. Thank you. Thank you. The young man in the audience knows the ethos of this show that we are...

By the way, thank you for being here for 30 minutes and already being very intoxicated. That's fantastic. Clearly, holy she. Yeah, look at that. Yeah, yeah. But what I was saying is we're a pro-Mafia show. And, you know, just letting anyone in the mafia know,

we're cool. The more no-show jobs, the better, I say. No show jobs. Oh, I see what you're saying. Excuse me. They went in this very late 80s, early 90s, Uh-oh, the Japanese are going to eat us a live idea. But I would have liked for Robocop 3, RoboCop versus Robo Mafia.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, the Robo Mafia, dude. Yeah, they keep breaking down because they're getting caught in the rain sitting outside Satriels. Oh, fuck, it's raining again, but the Gabagool. Ferrari's making them on. They're shipping them. Somehow I don't breathe anymore, but I still smoke cigarettes.

There is a cigarette. cigarette smoking robot in this movie. There is, and I forgot that guy smokes. Yeah, that's pretty cool. It's like that little monkey you buy, that little toy monkey that smokes the cigarette. Much more expensive, though. Now, were you putting real cigarettes in that,

or was it like a funny cigarette? Like marijuana or... No, no, no, why would you waste a marijuana cigarette on a toy monkey? A cigarette that's telling jokes then, or what? No, I'm just... Steve mentioned the toy with the little monkey that would smoke, and I'm asking,

did you have to actually put in a nicotine cigarette or was it like a little toy? Was it fake or was he really smoking? I think it's a nicotine cigarette but only after he fucks her. Perfect. Good theory, I say. It's kind of an inside joke

if you've been listening to the show for a while. That's right. Who watched the movie in preparation out of curiosity? All right. Nice. Now it's like a holiday for you folks, right? Like every calendar year

you got to watch all them fucking things? I don't think I've ever... I do not think I've ever seen the second one. And I know that I have with, you, but I, my brain doesn't tell me that I know that. Yeah, no, you've physically been present in a room where we were watching it. But we were doing too much

nuke that night. We were. Yeah, so, like, your memory, the experience of watching the great Robocop 2 was like, and that one's a good one, is what we're saying? This one's not. This one is not. But I kind of like Robocop too. Of course. It's the best one. It's totally fun.

Irvin Kirshner directs. That's right. Indeed. right so it was that after empire strikes back that's pretty cool right so this is the third time this guy is patrolling your fine streets and unfortunately it's a different actor in the role and a purchase alum we apologize yeah we share alumni status with uh robert john burke you may know him as iab from law and order SVU the biggest piece of shit like when he walks in he might as well have death's robes on when he's walks into that show. Like, they just turn him into the most evil motherfucker for no reason. Olivia. Olivia, I'm about to ruin this episode

for everybody. Or also, previous episode Thinner, he's the protagonist there. That's right. He's the guy that got thinner. Yes. He's the guy that had the walking bag of Doritos. And I think what happened before this movie, someone went up to him and was like, a robot.

Oh, no, oh no. Oh, no. I'm turning into a robot. Yeah, call my doctor again. Yeah, my piss is still black, and it is oil. I just, yeah, I'm getting

worried here. Yeah, sounds like you were cursed. Someone gave you the robo curse, I think. Did anyone come up and brush your face gently at one point? Oh, yeah, I'm just fucking with Romani left and right just all the time. It would have to be like a space Romani to have that type of technology, right?

Doc, I just keep on seeing zeros and ones. I know see, I don't see images anymore, just information. The Space Romani play like fiddles, but they're like laser strings. Hey, this sounds kind of cool, actually. I don't know. I'd check it out. Maybe.

So we start this movie with like, imagine Detroit, but better. Right? Because this whole franchise is about how your city is terrible. And I just, I for one, I'm not going to sit here and take it. No. Right. They're proposing this Delta City construction. Honestly, that Renaissance Center you got

kind of looks a little like it. Yeah, holy, that's something. We drove by that recently. It's terrifying. Shiver down my spine. Yeah, and it's like basically the idea is like, what if gentrification happened and the idea is it's going to no matter what.

But like, and like the idea is the OCP, the Omni Corporation. Yeah. Is. Omni consumer products, right? Oh, yeah, I just did it wrong. Is that right? Yeah.

Thank you. Steve's down with OCP. Yeah, you know me. But it's like forceful relocation as opposed to like gradual relocation. Just raise the rents, right? Takes the time. That's what New York does all the time. That's actually true.

No, but there's something in this movie like Rip Torns on a clock for some reason. We're going to get the fucking loan revoke. Three days until the loans are called due. And they're never called due, by the way. It's got to be like, oh, no, we're going to turn the community center to a parking lot. Oh, no, Robocop put on a talent show. See, that's something. Low stakes Robocop like that?

Absolutely. He's just got to get out on a stage like this and do, like, bad stand-up for a little bit. He gentlyly gets a cat out of a tree. That's what I want to see. I want to see him just going, like, door to door, making sure everybody's happy. Like boring cop work? Yes, the most boring shit ever. That sounds great for a Robocop.

out of a tree and crushes it. Oh, no, it happened again, Lieutenant. Yeah, so OCP, by the way, has been sold to the Japanese. There's a headline that's like, OCP is turning Japanese, and I was like, I don't think so, motion picture. Well, they got sold to that piece of shit, Katamitsu Corporation. Who says that? Bradley Whitford. Oh, it sounded like an impression of your father, so it was just curious.

My father is Bradley Whitford. Sick. I wish, right? I wouldn't be here. What do you do for a living again, Eric? Not in a negative way, but you... You wouldn't have to be here. You'd just be a rich guy, I'd imagine.

Sure. You know, you'd attend the premiere of Call of the Wild, which Bradley Whitford is also in as a beleaguered man who gets a dog that runs through his house briefly. That's the extent of his role, by the way. Oh, really? Yeah. Don't see it.

Oh, Call of the Wild, the Harrison Ford Computer Dog movie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The computer dogs are the new robocops. They are.

So that movie started with the dog getting shot 40 times and then they bring them back at the computer? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's talk about that, right? I think you can fly a rover.

See, we have to discuss this, right? Because the, I mean, this movie sucks shit entirely. But one of the biggest reasons that sucks so much shit is that it's like PG or PG-13? PG-13, yeah. I'm sorry.

That first movie, you're watching chunks of this guy fly off. They cut out a lot... Supposedly, according to Wikipedia, who the hell knows wrote that? Maybe Bradley Whitford's son, I don't know. That they cut out a lot of the graphic violence because the studio realized

that kids love Robocop. And it's that fucking cartoon, right? It's the cartoon that did it, dude. It is the cartoon. But in that case, they should have released a chunk cut. Oh, yes. Say again.

A chunk cut. You were saying, you were seeing chunks come off of people? I want a chunk cut from this movie. I thought you were saying that there's a cut of this movie

where the fat kid from the Goonies is running around doing shit. I would also be into that. No, I would not be into that. No. Why are you raising your shirt, child?

That's indecent exposure. How does that have anything to do with truffles? Get some squibs on that kid. It's a party. It's fun to look at people get shot. I mean, it's one of the original little shit boys for you.

Oh, yeah. Oh, definitely. Definitely. I think that's what put me off the film. Probably. It's just a thing where it's like, you know what? And I get it's a money thing, right? But like not everything has to be for fucking kids. No. No. Can we just have some things that are for adults that aren't pornography? Well, I saw Robocop

when I was six. Uh-huh. My dad had it out of VHS. My brother saw it too. He was like nine. And the next day, we went to a Catholic school. And the next day was like around Easter, so they kind of taught everybody about the passion.

And he kept seeing Robocop getting crucified. It had like weird, like, kind of flashbacks because Robocop is kind of like, Jesus. Paul Verhoeven is very unsubtle about that in the first film. Yes. I assume none of you guys were in theaters to see this. You were much too young, correct? You saw Robocop 3 in theater?

No, no. I watched this at a friend's house, and he told me, do you want to watch Robocop? Oh. And I was watching Robocop 3. That's fucked up. Let me ask you this. Wait, let me ask you this. Sure. You still friends with this person? No. All right. Why?

Why would you allow that to happen? And then, no. No, yeah. You're not going to carry on that fucking friendship. A curse on his wife and his children, as far as I'm concerned. You know, your first clue that this wasn't Robocop 1 was when it starts with the three there. When you do the big old three. I don't go to the bathroom during the movie, Stephen. Jesus. Wait, so it turns out, so you think you're settling in for Paul Verhoeven's Robocop?

I don't know it's Paul Verhoven. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Robocop. Sure. Robocop 3 is on screen. That doesn't come up. I was out of the room when that happened. Oh, so you missed it. But you realized after a fashion, it wasn't Robocop or no? You've never seen it. This is a Robocop. I'm young enough where it's like, oh, it's a Robocop movie. I'm watching Robocop. And that's like it.

So was there a period of time where you thought that this was the plot of the first Robocop movie? Yes, and I thought Robocop sucked. I didn't understand what everybody was talking about. They were like, Robocop rules. I'm like, no, it doesn't I wash it? It's like, there's a kid in it. She's a hacker. I don't get it.

I want to touch on Jesus again real quick. Please. Sure. That's what everybody's here for. Touching on Jesus. Because it's very interesting, right? Because Jesus Christ's famous criminal. Thin line, though, because, you know, Jesus cop, no.

Robocop is a cop. Yeah. I just think it's an interesting, it's like if a Roman centurion got crucified. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the weird thing in these movies is that, like, the cops are the, you know, infallible heroes and whatnot, which is a bit of an issue.

Yes, yes. We weren't really thinking about it back then in movies, but, you know, it's weird. Because of all the teeming rabble in this city, apparently, right? We now, in this movie, we're like, oh, what if there were bad cops? I was like, wow, I wonder. But it's this idea of this weird militaristic police force that is relocating people in, like, weird concentration camp-esque things, where we never see what happens to them?

I think because if you see them in what we're clearly told concentration camps, like, then they'd be like, wait. They're called rehabilitation villages. Villages. Yeah, okay. And these guys' uniforms, obviously gray, well-dressed. And they have, I just noticed this today, their side emblem on their shoulder,

it looks like if Roy Lichtenstein designed a swastika. Very similar. It's like pop art swastika. Distressingly similar. And later, there are hidden artworks that these cops have taken for themselves. Dude, let me ask you this. Frank Miller, what are you talking about?

No, man. This is what survived from the Miller script. Of course, it had to be. All right, you can rewrite it, but they still got to be Nazis. That's why he was so mad is like they got rid of the gold teeth and the pile of shoes. Wait, wait, wait, you kept the stolen art, right? Okay. But the weird thing is like, which is always my question in the Robocopiverse, is like, and forgive me,

and this is just a movie. Detroit is a flaming shithole in this universe. And then, like, is Milwaukee, like, great? Like, because if that's the case... Yeah. If that's the case that I'm, like, going up the street, dude, it's like, yeah, oh, you're relocating me into a concentration camp? What if I just moved, I don't know, over there?

It's a stunningly confusing part of this whole franchise because they never address, like, what's going on in Chicago? What does fucking Santa Fe have to say about all this? It's just, like, Detroit is its own world in this movie? Very, very strange. I feel it's like, so you don't have to answer these hard-hitting questions like we're asking tonight. You just cut to a couple from like Seattle and they're just like in a really nice kitchen.

Like, you know, Mother, Detroit has a now a robotic cop. That is so Detroit. That is so Detroit that they would have a robot. Motor City, right? Yeah, I put a motor in a guy. Last night, the Giants beat the Falcons and Detroit continues to be a feudal state. Everything else is totally fine, but for whatever reason, this state, this city only. Yeah, like, I don't even know.

Is Ann Arbor awesome? Like, I don't know. You can just go to Ann Arbor, like, be by the Lincoln shit and relax. Can I point out, by the way, Steve was being hypothetical. Whoever yelled out no to is Ann Arbor worth a damn? We don't care. It's a fake question. So, yeah, they're getting relocated.

We start with his family. long time for Robocop 3 for RoboCop to show up just to deploy I. You know what? I need this movie to start with like a RoboCop cold open. You know like every Bond film there's always a cold open maybe maybe not related to the plot

of the film. I would like my oil shaken, not stirred. My name is cop Robo. Cop. Robo cop. There it is. That's that's, but yeah, no, it's just, I don't know. It's kind of weird that I have to wait like close to

20 minutes before the titular Robocop. Do you think it's like there's two of these. They know what he looks like. I'm looking forward to his Robocob James Bond movie where he faces off with like a fax machine voiced by Jonathan Price.

I'd watch that. I want that. Oh man, then he has to store Michael Jackson's house. For what? The fax machine. Oh, I see. It's the fax machine. It's a finding Neverland or whatever it's called.

Yes. No, that was that Johnny Depp movie. Oh, right. Where he was playing J.M. Barry or whatever the fuck. A great mix up to happen. Someone's made that mistake and been like, this is not what I wanted to watch. Oh my God. When do they get to the part where he invents Peter Pan?

Fax Machine. This little girl, Nico is her name, I believe. Nico. The single, well, the second, I guess, biggest reason why this movie sucks shit. Because not only is all the violence out of it, the main character, I hate to break it to you is not Robocop. It's this little girl. Yeah. A super genius, by the way. They turned it into

Inspector Gadget. Yes. She's Penny. All we need is a talking dog. Go-go Gadgett's sidearm. But did the dog talk in that, or am I thinking David Berkowitz? Yeah, you're thinking of David Berkowitz. But speaking of David Berkowitz, she's got action figures of Robocop, which you

might as well have action figures of David Berkowitz and Dahmer that you're playing with. He's a famous murderer. That's all he is. People would buy those. A hundred percent. There's probably so sick fuck toy line out there that's like, here's action figure Jeffrey Dahmer.

But a little kid shouldn't have it, right? Acid sold separately. And... Jar with dicks in it sold separately. Oh, it's pricey too. You could buy his refrigerator with all the accessories. It comes with chocolate accessories, but you can't.

eat them. Don't eat them. Buy the apartment play set. It's like, you know, I wish that they would keep the jar with dixen it accessory but not behind the counter because I hate having to ask for it. How many times? A lot. I got to buy

another jar with dixon at accessory. You're going to be embarrassed at the store again. It's the only thing in the toy story. You have to be 21 or over to buy. So this little girl's terrified, right? She asks her father, you know, are we going to get kicked out of this house? And this is an unintentional, hilarious

ass bit of editing. This dad's like, no, no, no, it's totally fine. The police would never do that to us. Don't worry about it. Just go to sleep. He'll be... This wrecking ball breaks through this little girl's bedroom, and I am laughing my tits off. It's hard to get over, honestly. And then in the background, I'd buy that for a dollar. Dude, yeah. I'm glad he's still in. in business. But there's a couple

of times this included where it reminds you like, there was one time a better movie called Robocop, and you could be watching it right now. But your friend lied to you at the sleepover and it's Robocop 3. Look, if I had just not had to

pee, we would have been all set. I mean, to your friend, like, give your friend some credit here. It was the latest Robocop. It was the hottest thing, right? It's the new one. It's a new one. Okay, but you said Robocop. I'm going to do something I don't ever is give you some credit because listen you had to go to the bathroom

right and this movie's title card sequence doesn't start to like 10 minutes into the movie so like maybe you thought there wasn't one that's possible and well it's I guess if I had watched it I would have thought the name of the movie was three oh right it does start with a three first

does it not that's dumb okay I guess aren't you happy though Steve that this follows your sequel legislation yeah well you know what the fuck you're getting unless you go to the bathroom apparently You know exactly what you're getting. I was younger, Stephen. God damn it.

It's Robocop 3. And so they're all getting, like, loaded onto buses, and it's very traumatic. And CCH Pounder, who may also be a Robocop, just a general. I think she's got some robot parts. That's a name sounds robotic. CCH Pounder. Yeah.

CCHOH Pounder, freeze scumbags. Exactly. That's just describes she doesn't like. freeze scumb day? Yes, exactly. Yeah, so she's leading like the resistance team. We do have, they're called

like straight up the rebellion. Also, it's like a weird, yeah, there's Nazis, but also like they're making you think about Star Wars. Constantly. They're like, no, give up the location of the rebel base, please. The Nazi shit is really intense in this scene where they're separated.

Because like, literally, they're separating the kid from the parents. One is going away. One is going into a bus, and the next thing we know about these people is they died. Yeah, they were shot trying to escape. Frank Miller. What the fuck?

Having fun, I guess. And the head of this force, it's a relocation force, that's a mercenary unit, that they do the war, the Amazon war, which is interesting. Right, the Amazon war is going on. I think

that's coming up, right? That's the, oh, I can't get to my package in time for Christmas? We're trying to start it, dude, right? It's like first take over space and then turn them lasers back on Earth. Might as well end it, right? Earth. Bezos, I think,

is trying to do it. This is the titular Amazon Wars we're talking about. Look, we will have the supply change ready for the Amazon Wars. Garrett Robotic copper will come to save us all during the... Where am I?

what's this what happened he's got a jet pack man he'll deliver your package it's just like the rocketeer I remember seeing him up in the sky I love him yeah Robocop just you know

on your way home deliver some packages oh god damn it man why was there only one Rocketeer movie there should have been at least three fuck

what is Robocop doing in between shifts by the way pick up a broom you know what dude you don't sleep you don't eat He just, like, sits there and shits oil out or something. Charging, I assume, a battery.

Oh, so it takes forever. You got to put him on low power mode. That would ain't charges faster. Well, see, there's a couple of things you can do here with a Robocop, much like an electric car, right? If you get to an actual Robocop charging station, it's only like a two-hour thing until you get the full charge. But if you get the plug, you pull the cord out of his ass and you plug him into the wall, that's like a six, eight-hour charge right there. Oh, I see. Yeah, so it's all a voltage thing.

You know, that's why he's got to sleep at the police station. The ass plug. Jill Hennesse is going to have to plug him in after she's done flirting with this microwave that talks. Well, he's very sexy, Chris. What with his face being stretched over a fucking robotic skeleton?

Sure, sure. Yuck. And, you know, by the third movie, I think Robocop should have been promoted by now. Like, maybe he has like commandant of a police academy. Robo chief? You know, he could be like Sergeant Eric,

no, not Sergeant. Commodon Eric Lassar. in Robo-Crow, in Police Academy. There it is. Robo! Mahoney, I cannot receive a blowjob behind this podium. My genitals were burned and shot off by Clarence Boddicker. I do wish there was more, it would be great if he was training a new Robocop in this one, right?

He's got a Robocop partner. Why would one robot need to train another robot? It takes a while to get used to be in Robocop. This is the charging chair. pretty cool. Oh, by the way, you may have some vague memories of a family that you once called your own. Just shake it off. You'll

never see them again. He's trading his new partner, a boombox that he just carries around the station, Steve. Let's go, boombox. No, it's like a cop that stubs his toe. It's like, it sprays his ankle. He goes to the hospital, like, oh, you're ruined. You better become

the new robocop. What? We just need a new robocop. You're a good size. But it's just my ankle. I mean, the rest of my body's totally fine. We're going to have to solve all of your body. Why don't you just sign this paperwork to get your health insurance and your Robocop thing on? Now, everyone will be calling you Robo,

but technically we are the undead. Dude, there's a couple parts of this movie where people are calling him Robo, and I'm like, I don't know about that. It's either Mr. Robocop, I would say, or Officer Robocop. I think Rip Torn calls him Mr. Robocop in this movie. That's some respect, at least.

You just don't go up to Robert De Niro and call him Bobby. Yes, that's true. That's true. Don't do this shit. Also, though, when Rip Torn says Mr. Robocop, he didn't know the cameras were rolling. Although this British Nazi officer McDaggot probably calls him Bobby. Oh, yes, it's a Robobobby. I see what you have here.

This is disgusting. A Robobobobby, yes. Oh, God. Oh, hello there, Robobobobie. Let me ask you a couple of questions about your body now. Is it just the face? Nipples left under there, what? Can you make facial expressions, Robo Bobby?

Or are you like the ones we have guarding our queen? They are also undead. I bet they wish they were undid. I do like this guy going to Detroit and being like, now, remind me, it's been a while since I've been to America, that is the city with the robocop in it. There's only one, there's literally thousands of cities across this continent, but only one has a robotic bobby.

be and there's only one in the whole okay okay I can dismantle that fucker but I think I think Steve you sort of mentioned that at one point right maybe it was backstage but like this is the third movie training another robocop maybe it's an army of robocops

and like the whole operation goes tits up and then only the OG Alex Murphy can save the day something that's a movie it's literally something they could be the reinforcements for the Amazon War it's like the Lone Wars, and they just have a bunch of robocops

made by some long-necked alien. And if you want to learn anything about it, you've got to watch seven seasons of a fucking cartoon show I couldn't care about. And yet it's still kind of incomprehensible. And, but yeah, so like they're getting relocated, and he does have like this, CCH pattern blows some shit up.

They kind of kidnap this girl. It's sort of like if we leave her there, they're going to kill her, and now we just have this child great. And now you know she's really cool because she hijacks Ed 209 from the last movie. This is bullshit. You have the coolest part of that second movie come into this one. And this is the only scene this little robot has? I don't think so.

They have to, they should take him and like recruit him. You guys remember Ed 209 is the big motherfucker thing from the second movie? Someone should ride him like a horse. Oh, now we're talking about. That's how that little girl can make herself useful. She's just riding this thing. She should climb all over at like Totoro. He's in the first movie, too, right?

Yeah, he is. Yes, that's right. Totero? So I like the idea of Totoro with guns. That's kind of cool. That's like a good one. Not exactly Miyazaki's sweet movie, but it's like, yeah, with guns.

Yeah, like he still starts off as like a furry school bus, but then he turns into Ed 2 or not. Yeah, then it's just every other anime. Careful we're in public. That's true. I forgot the Japanese did take over. Good, great. But, yeah, so this is, yeah, she hijacks at 209.

There's a bunch of good character actors in this. Stephen Root shows up. So many good ones. You got Daniel von Bargan, I believe. His name is on Seinfeld. Mr. Kruger, yeah. Malcolm in the middle for a fashion, yeah. That guy.

We already mentioned CCH print. There's a lot of, there's a lot of characters. Johannes-I, I mean, it's just, it's overflowing. It's kind of the only thing that saves this movie is that it's dumb as shit, but there's at least like a bunch of... And Whitford, character actor, like great folks along the way to elevate this horseshit.

We mentioned Rip Torn. I mean, their performances is what makes this sort of a movie. Almost. Almost. Almost gets there. So their whole thing is, when they encounter Ed 209,

what they're doing is they're trying to rob the, like, police armory, which, like, I guess on the one hand, you're like, all right, there's this gigantic robot monster. That's enough to guard the armory, but, like, this little kid hacks it, in two seconds, and then there's no other security.

Just take it home. It seems like a bit of a flub. Right? Just take at a 209. That's the only gun you need. If you hack that thing and he's on your side, you don't need any other rifles. Look, they want some variety, okay? This armory apparently has guns with bayonets on it, muskets.

These people are running around with these, it looks like a duel is going to take place at some point in this. Maybe the last duel, possibly? Yes, possibly that one. Oh, shit. There is a guy that sort of looks like Ridley Scott in this. He does kind of, yeah, the dude, the hat. He's like the fourth guy and, like, the head of the resistance.

Yeah, you folks know that guy with the hat. Looks like Ridley Scott is wearing a hat in this movie, you know. They wind up going, the cops get called eventually, so they're like on a chase, and now Robocop 16 minutes in is being mentioned. You see his face. Yeah, that's right. No, not a face, the visor. The visor, I guess.

Just the visor. Robo eyes. And it's like, again, why are you teasing it? It's the third movie. I know what Robocop looks like. They keep on safe. This is why I was fooled. They're like, Murphy, Murphy, Murphy, Murphy for 15 minutes.

And I'm like, oh, this, I'm built up now. A robot face. This is a Robocop. Okay, I can get into a Robocop movie, and then, of course, it sucked. And Nancy Allen is at a donut shop that gets run almost raw. proprietor Jeff Garland. Yes, donut clerk Jeff Garland in this movie. IMDB trivia, and again, always a grain of salt,

says that he ate 36 donuts while filming this scene. 100% believe it. 36! I thought he liked to eat cheese. There's a movie that he made was like, I like cheesy. I think it's literally called, I like cheese with. I want someone to eat cheese with. Oh, there it is.

It's because it's a romantic movie about cheese eating, Eric. but I mean I feel like they're like all right Jeff we just got to redo the light did you just eat another donut oh we're okay is there a donut in your mouth right now it's not even it's not even the script that you have to eat any donuts

the craft services is over there you don't have to keep eating this company's donuts okay so we're just going to have to go out for more fucking donuts so we're going to be late we're going to be late again okay no that's fine Jeff you you are a method actor wait a second half of these were fake he's eating the fake All of our styrofoam donuts are gone.

So do you think if you went back and watched, like, if you're checking for donut continuity? Yeah. Don't say what I'm about to say, buddy. It makes it less fucking funny if you say it a half a second before I do. It's very frustrating. It's totally fine. But yeah, I think, you know, it's like jelly, glaze, chocolate. Just doing it.

Just doing it. I feel if you went back and looked, it's a bunch of different donuts, and I feel that that's a right fact. It's correct. 36. Would you say 36? 36 in like a 36-minute shoot was how it worked. It was one donut per minute. Look, I'm a professional.

You need me to do it again? So it wasn't even like a cool hand Luke thing where he's going to win something at the end? So how does it feel they be a rocket scientist? That's his big line of the movie. That is his big line. Because the joke is it's a donut shop. The guy tries to rob it and there's a bunch of cops there.

Oh, my God, can you even fucking stand it? How hilarious is that, huh? They introduce Anne Lewis, the former, oh, I didn't know it, the partner of Robocop, like Max at the beginning of Rushmore. Like, she has a paper up, and, like, you just hear the cops going, Louis, Lewis, Lewis, and it just trains in on her, me. She walks up to the chalkboard and solves all crime. And, like, the cop teacher's like, that's incredible.

I didn't know any, not even I, or my professors at Cop Harvard could do that. But what they're... You cut to Brian Cox, that's the worst cop we've got. But what they're, why they're cheering her name, it's not because they, like, think she's great or, you know, anyone acknowledges her previous adventures with Robocop. It's because they're all fighting over whose turn it is to do their job. Yeah.

They're like, like, the call comes over, and it's like, oh, my God, the police armory got robbed. Holy shit, that's a big deal. And they're all like, all right, it's Johnson's turn. And then Johnson's like, no, no, no. It's fucking Franklin's turn. And it's like a diner of cops yelling about who's going to go pull somebody over. We're only going to send one cop to this armory.

That's it. And one of these cops that don't want to do their job is Shane Black, right? Yes. That's right. It's pretty neat. It's got to be buds with what's his face due to directed this, right? Fred Decker. Fred Decker, right?

Did Monster Squad, which Shane Black's also in. But so what is Robocop doing right? I know he's not at the donut shop because he's not allowed because people would just throw up. You know what? I don't have to eat, but it would just be nice to be invited. I can chew it and spit it out, you know. Oh, my God.

How do they go? Oh, no way. That would be something. But also like Garlands hovering over the table. He's got that bucket you get when you're at a wine tasting. He just is eating donuts and spitting it out. This is what it's like to be. cop again. How do they

keep his flesh from rotting? Like, you think his face would be rot. Baby food. You're right in the first movie, right? They just smear it on his face or what? He eats baby food. He eats it, okay. Does he have to shave then if it's living tissue? That's a good question. I am

Robocop, but now I've got a mustache. I have to be careful doing this or over the sink. The water can rust the other part of my head. I do like the idea of him like slinging a towel over his shoulder. Yes Uh-oh, I cut myself

Doesn't matter Someone will buff it out at the precinct Jill will handle this Oh no, not Jill, I'm sorry Her name is Dr. Lazarus in this movie Shut the fuck up already, Frank Miller Shut the fuck up Doctor Resurrection

Oh, I just got that Oh So maybe it's smarter than we realized Doctor, another chance. All your favorite characters from the Bible are here. They should make that a comic book. I think that would be more digestible. What, the Bible?

Yeah. I'm sure somebody's wasted all sorts of time doing that. I would be first in line for that lot single issue. A lot of people turn to salt. They go, they take the wrong turn, and now they're in the splatterpunks. which is kind of cool. Oh, right.

Well, we should say, so she does give Chase. It's her and this other partner, I guess. Which, is she not partners with Robocop in this movie? Maybe they had an argument. Oh. What, you really don't think 101 do 1, 101.1.

Is true? Oh, so actually, so he does a bunch of robots speak and so it's like a Han Solo Chubbacah thing? Like, she understands him, but like, we never get the subtitles. Or he like, finally, and they're always at the end of every shift, they're like,

dude, come on down to McGillicotties, have a drink with us. Like, no, I can't. I'm a robot. And the one time he goes, he comes in, and she's already telling the story, like, he smells so bad. Oh, my God, he's here. It's like rotting flesh, baby food all day. And sort of like a milk odor?

No, no, don't worry about it. I'll leave. Murphy, I have to talk to somebody about it, okay? I have to vent somehow. I'm going. Thanks for nothing. Here's money, and he's like smash it to the table. Does he have a wallet?

Oh, my God, does he have a wallet? I think it's a thing where like a little draw comes out of the side and there's like changing shit in there. It also serves as a cup holder if I leave it open. Hold on, I've got a single here somewhere. Oh, man, that would have been a great American. If Paul Verhoeven was empty, if they made an American Express commercial, I've got it.

Oh, yeah. Oh, shit. dude totally never leave home without it as I literally can't because it's part of me because I still have to charge I have to get up to 65% tonight you know Steve you just you perfectly described credit scores it is a part of you all the time the credit score is already inside of you oh wow I've achieved 758 that's great so CCH Pounder has taken the little hacker genius into a church with Bargain and Ridley

Scott. Yeah. And well, rehab. Yes. The bad cops know where they are. And Robocop and Lewis are the last ones there. And what happens? Lewis gets blown the fuck away.

She gets murdered. This is a real like, all right, I know I'm contracted for three of these. It doesn't say how long I have to stay in the third one. So please kill me. I cannot be the partner of a robot cop anymore.

This is fucking humiliating. I've worked with Brian De Palma, God damn it. Well, you know she's going to die because they're like, Hey, Lewis, you want your body armor? And she's like, no, I'm good. I'm like, oh, that's not a good idea. It's just like you live, we're told, it's like 2044 or whatever.

And like, you sneeze the wrong way. Someone shoots you in the face. So I'm like, I don't know, take that body armor. I think this is a suicide. Yeah, and this is right after you're wrong. Robocop saved her from the splatter punks. And the splatter punks are fantastic characters because even in 1993, we're terrified

of the idea of, I don't know, the sex pistols. The Astor Place rebels are going to come after you. And we get to see that fella, the guy from Frankenhooker, get shot. Oh my God, yeah. So there's a car chase that happens here and they tee-boned this dude who's dressed

like a fucking terrible stand-up comedian. And he's like making a big deal about it. And they're like, oh no, like these fucking gutter punks are everywhere, something might happen, and this guy's like mouthing off, like, you know, talking shit and everything, and he gets like instantly assassinated and boy, does it feel good.

It's good, and this is when Robocop shows up, and you realize... It's style. He shows up in style. Yeah, because, like, you see him, like, getting primed for, you know, whatever he's about to do, and then you realize... He's his style. Driving off a fucking parking garage. And he pulls a fucking Dominic

Torretto, dude. He drives right off this parking garage and lands perfectly in front of them. shoots his own roof open. It's like, there's a door, robocop. We keep telling you. This happens multiple times in this movie. This dude's shooting holes and shit to walk through. Like, he's a cartoon character.

Either one, just Frankenstein your way through the door and break it down. Or just use the handle. You have a fucking hand. You have a human mind somewhere in there. I've always wanted to do this. I've always hated doors. Murphy hated doors. it's amazing you say

actually I think if they were I mean they did that terrible remake with Joel Kinneman honestly Vin Diesel as Robocop he doesn't have to act at all he just has to say robotic shit that's perfect for him

he's been playing Robocop for fucking nine movies then what are you talking about just put the visor over him he's there he's ready to do it it's about family oh and then oh he's a robot and he tries chugging Corona and his fucking spark

starts shooting out of him wildly He's just tearing me up inside. Why did I do this? But the problem with John Robert Burke is like he's doing this thing. He's trying to do like a Peter Weller impression. But he's got like his lips. He has to like, you called for backup. He has to do duck lips a little bit.

Yeah, you're right. It's like a little of this. I go. Free scumbra. Now is that like did he research, do dead lips stick up more than, like is there like a rigamortis of the lip? He went method with it. Robocop wants to kiss. That's all I can do.

Oh, nice little cold kiss from RoboCop. Does he have a full tongue? Does he have a full tongue? Yeah, you see him talking. He's got a tongue and teeth and whatnot. I like the idea of Robocop 4 colon cold kiss. No, Fred, you have to understand the skin should be much darker. It should be blue, like drained of life.

That should be how it is. Just a cold, dry tongue rubbing up on you. Making out with me is like making out with a cat. I think this is again why Nancy Allen isn't writing with RoboCub. That Christmas party got out of control. We were both curious and we were both let down. I shouldn't have put you up on the Xerox machine like that. That's a threesome, dude.

He was already in a relationship with the Xerox machine and decided to spice it up after five or ten years. You know, me and my lady liked your vibe. He was my roommate in college. You want to go in the back and copy? Oh, you want to put your tits on her screen, real original. That's grotesque. That certainly is.

So the splatterpunks were trying to light up Robocop, and it doesn't really work. Cyborg eats bullets. That's right. Cyborg does eat bullets. Not today. eventually, yes, as Chris pointed out, they make their way to a church safe house, and then, yeah, this is where they roll up,

and then they're just Nazis. I mean, the Nazis in this movie also roll up. But there's a lot of, like, Robocop admiring the cross as well. Like, I remember that guy. Well, after Lewis gets shot, he does do the Pieta for a minute there. Yes, he kind of does.

We've got to sort of like Frankenstein a little bit, like dragging her through the church. Yes. So, like, these, you know, what's this bad guy's name again? McDaggett. McDaggett. McDaggett rolls up and he's like, oh, hello there, Robocop. Yes, I see you.

I see you there with your little partner where we're going to go in this church, and we're going to exterminate, I mean, relocate all these people. And then, like, Robocop's, like, having this, like, motor. You see, it's a fucking, ladies and gentlemen, it is a robot having a crisis of faith, which is pretty darn funny. Because he's got the stupid, like, protocols that are going in front of his visor, and it's like, be a cop, be a cop, don't hurt cops, you know, whatever the fuck.

Protect public trust is number one. He starts, like, short-circuiting because it says, like, to serve and protect, and it's less like, what? Murder loiterers is, like, number six. And then, like, the protocol four is, like, you won't hurt an OCP agent so he can't, like, shoot them or whatever.

But then Nancy Allen comes in, and she's like, step aside, robot. I don't want to be alive anymore. And, like, pulls a pistol on these dudes And this fucking McDaggart is just like, oh, yes, this will be quite fun. She gets laid out. It's pretty good. Machine gun.

It's pretty close to like what happens to Murphy. So I thought maybe she was going to become a lady robocop. Yeah. A bunch of awes in the audience. Do you want them to fall in love? That would be nice. Imagine a robo girlfriend. Here's the thing.

I think that's why Nancy Allen pulled the plug. She was like, look, this is the third one of these. Bet you dollars to donuts, they're going to make me fuck this. thing. And honestly, I would rather be dead. The Lady Robocop does factor and, I have to brief aside, if you get a chance to watch

the Siskel and Ebert review of this movie. We were watching this before the show. It's fun. Siskel is, of course, hated the shit out of this. It's just like, I would have liked something cornyer. Like, I don't know. A lady robot. And then Roger

Ebert, Horndog of the Central is like, could you talk a little bit more about that? jumps up. Could you, he jumps up, and he's like, talk about her ass a little bit. How about that? I think he says, he even says, like, we're going to have to talk more about this after the show.

Yeah, he says that a Jesus was like, okay, buddy, okay, can we get to the next movie? No, no, no, talk about our breasts a little bit more. See, and this is unfortunate, right? Because, like, there's all, you can find them on YouTube. There's all the outtakes of them, like, arguing with each other when they were off the air about whatever. Why isn't that argument one of the outtakes?

Well, Raj, you really creep me out tonight, man. I don't know what the fuck that was about. I'm just saying it's been three movies. Maybe this time he gets laid. Now, just tell me, Gene, how would insertion work? Could you map out how insertion would work for me? I'm leaving. Okay, you can, you know, email me or write me a letter.

Well, Roger, I guess you'd have to take the gas cap off first. Oh, I like where you're going with that one. Maybe this has started the whole thing of their breakup. Oh, that makes it right? Now I'm just picturing a condom filling with gasoline. I think the rebels actually use that as a weapon in some part of this show.

Jeet Siskel opens a Christmas card from Roger Ebert. It's just this erotic drawing of a lady robo cop. Happy holidays. That's on the internet. It's already on deviant art guaranteed.

I love that when she's dying, he's like, let me do you one favor by recording your untimely demise. Oh my God, dude, it's a Robo Snuff film. I want to watch the lights go out. Rewind. Rewind.

Rewind. My last words was Robocop. Don't film this. Like, I'm actually shitting my pants right now and I'm scared. I don't want this forever. I didn't sign a release form or anything. Robocop, go to private mode.

Private mode. She's just lost 21 grams. Her soul has left her body. I do love the Robert John Burke delivery of of Officer Down. that's like what you should have yelled when she got shot to shit out on the front porch by the way the soul question's interesting do you think robocop like does he have half a soul is like half of Murphy in heaven Robocop will go right to hell yep yeah so half of him is in hell I mean because

it's not like he's a full human experience he's an abomination against God yeah he's got to go to hell he's a column practically this is more or less a gallant Please get this piece of paper out of my mouth. Stop touching my face so much, please. Vindiza could play a Gollum as well. It's kind of surprising he hasn't yet, man. Honestly, they should remake that old German expressionist film until like a new franchise.

I would watch the fuck out. Der Golum, dude, that could have been part of the dark universe. Absolutely. Still give him the same mushroom bowl haircut. Yeah, so I know it's the Gullum. I've seen the first movie. That's the only way you know. Oh, that's right.

You were watching Gollum 3, and you didn't even fucking know it. You went to the bathroom. I went to the bathroom when the three came up, okay? Wait, there's more Gollum movies? Shit. The Empire Strikes Back guy made a Robo movie? They go underneath. Robocop gets shot to shit as well.

He's, like, damaged. So this, like, gives you even less time with Robocop because it's like, I'm going to take a nap for the middle of the movie. I need to get to a phone charger immediately. Well, yeah. McDaggett, the worst McDonald's sandwich ever release, fucking loads a fucking rocket into his chest, and that's what ends him for good. I ordered my McDaget without cheese. This is ridiculous.

Ah, yes, the McDagot, a boiled mutton with ketchup and lettuce. I love how McDaggot frames him for murder. Yes. Oh, I don't know. I can't believe that Robocop murdered that lady. That was terrible. and it's a weird thing where you realize

they have control over the news outlet or whatever because they're just reading this bullshit story about like Robocop has killed all of these other cops or whatever I'm so sorry that Robocop ate your lunch I know he doesn't eat

but yeah I know it was clearly marked in the fridge and Robocop just came out of it He ate your chips I'm afraid he thought they were microchips and I know I do not smell like Doritos Oh you know what's Robobobobie I believe was the one peeing on the seat in the men's room. Yes, yes, definitely Robo Bobby.

Oh, yes, Robo Bobby. I'm enjoying some coffee. I just used your sister, the coffee maker. That's fucked up, man. You deal with it. You'll never take my job. She's not my sister. She's my ex-girlfriend, creep.

Well, now I've put my grounds in her. Staked my claim. I think I'll have a fresh cup. Keep going. What else with coffee? Oh, yeah, I put, oh, thank you, Chris, because I also put my cream in there. There we go.

I was waiting for it. Come up. I like it with a little milk. You were, like, making your way, and then you stopped, and you banged up a little bit, and then he went through the wall. Usually, I put cream in my tea. I drink my own cum.

and creamer. Meanwhile, British tradition. Oh, excellent. Back at OCP headquarters, this is where we meet like Ripthorn and Bradley Whitford. Yeah. This is like,

you know, I guess it's just this thing about like this, they all have like tons of stock shares in this company and everything like that. And that's why like OCP employees are committing suicide at like record rates because the company's failing. You know, maybe look at what the, I don't know.

I guess the job market is done. with the Amazon war and all. I mean, find something else. I don't know, right? Like, don't jump out of a skyscraper. They're all acting like this is the fucking stock market crash. Yeah, although these are, you know, we're making fun of this, but like those are the best parts of the movie.

I love seeing that guy jump out the window. They are, like, supposed to be comedic. Like, there's this lady just like, honey, it's not there. She's on a video phone and her husband's getting up in the window about to jump out. She's like, honey, it's no big deal. Just come home. And he's like, hello.

And then Bradley Whitford's like, oh, yeah, I would never do that. I would eat a bullet first. And this is when he gets fired off-screen suicide. Kind of want to watch him shoot himself. Of course I do. Of course I do. There's no kind as about it. This is where he says, he walks into this meeting room when Rip Toyn's there with the Japanese robot. And that's where he says this piece of Kattahmitsu Corporation.

And Rip Toren's face like, oh, no! Shut up. One of them's here. And this is just, Otomo is the name of this guy. Spoiler alert, he's secretly a robot. It's so stupid. I mean, look, you give me a fucking robot

with a cyber blade. I'm way into it. But then you got to do it. You can't just have him in three scenes. No. And he should be talking. Yeah. Talking all sorts of shit. Be like an actual villain for a film. I just realized there are, as we see towards the end of the film,

there are three of these guys identical. Maybe that's what the titular three at the start was. Oh. Because it's more hit. Well, I wish it was his movie. I wish they gave this guy more to do. Are they all shipped to America? How does that work?

Oh, maybe like in pieces and then they're built once they get here. Got it. It sounds right. But you know, the supply chain. Oh. God damn it, man. The supply chain. No more new Robocops.

I'm sorry, everybody. Who wants ice cream? I'm tired. You might have to open your Robococon. cop presence in January this year or maybe order your robocops now in October they

yeah so like um but yeah this guy's investigating where the rebels are and again this is why Robocop is fully sleeping in this movie he's down the girl tries to like hack him they have to get Jill Hennessy involved and that's

it's almost a romantic thing but not really like they pull back a big way? Yeah, I mean, I think it's the thing where if we had like Jill Hennessy like a night at home, you know, she's living at home, maybe she's got like a couple of cats or some shit, you know, and then it's like she sits down, a bunch of like

containers of old Chinese food, you know, and then it's like she's just realizing she's fantasizing about Murphy. And then she's got a crush on Robocop. That would be awesome. Well, there is that scene, like he, the kid falls asleep on his lap at one moment

and Jill Hennessy comes in and there's definitely moment where she's looking like, boy, that garbage truck would make a great father. Oh, boy. Is this after the scene where Robocop has his, like, memory thing, where it looks like the Regal Cinema's roller coaster, like, you're waiting for the movie to start, and it's like, and then it's like, enjoy the show. But then he sees all, he sees, like, his, his dad, not dead wife, but he's dead. Mrs. Murphy.

Mrs. Murphy. Lewis, who is the second Mrs. Murphy. And now Lazarus, he's taking a shine on these three ladies. And he morphs them together like, I don't care, they're all kind of the same kind of a thing. It doesn't matter, not like I could do anything about it anyway. And they all have, like they look like they're naked, like there's nothing on the shoulders, so it looks like the Michael Jackson black or white video for a moment. It definitely does.

That's weird. You're white, you're white. Go to me to be. Hey, yeah. And you're white again. but yeah the rebels like bring Jill Hennessy because they're like hey this thing we can't get it to boot up we know that you're like the expert here do we have to like reset it

do I have to like push two buttons at the same time and hold it for 10 seconds we've got him sitting in rice right now and that's not working I have been on hold with this fucking 800 number for 35 minutes

we figured it would be easier if we just brought you in and yeah so she starts fucking with him and we do this is like basically the first movie again right where like he keeps fading in and out and then you get five of them put that shit back in dude yeah you're getting like like surgery goofs yeah where like he he i guess comes out of sleep mode because it's not you know i almost said like anesthetic but clearly not it's a robot but he comes out of sleep mode and it's like you got

like daniel von bargain leading the surgery and then like something pops off and like sprays in cc hounder's face and like, I'm not tuning into this for the laughs. I'm sorry. You excited me. I was having a dream about three women. But we do this like we're going to turn. Oh, oh fuck he woke up. Turn it off. And then like he wakes back

up again. Another silly thing happens. Oh no, it happened again. Turn off Robocom. He really smells like shit. Oh God, he's listening. Stop it. Stop and stop. They're holding what is his replacement heart. It looks like a wet coffee grinder. And what are we doing here? Like what is

this replacement heart? Because, I mean, whatever happened, the rocket is what happened to the heart. Oh, yeah. He has a human heart? Yeah, is it. Maybe it is. Maybe, do you think they, do you think they cut it out of someone?

I think they fucking bumped him up on the transplant list, and that's pretty mean. There's others waiting. He's already dead. My wife is going to die so that this guy who died five years ago could still be a living abomination? Okay, so that's good.

And how many hearts has he been through in these three movies so far. Okay. He actually hates living. Okay. Interesting. Well, maybe the guy was like upset, you know, but then it was like, oh, wait, it's for Robocop? Oh, oh. Well, it's good. Too much. My hero? Yes, thank you for

your service, Robocop. Don't mention it. Do your part, dude. Do your part to help Robocop. Yeah. But yeah, this, uh, Atomo kind of just goes around, he finds like these hillbillies that he murders really quickly. This is the

Very famous, very cool scene where the guy hits him with the pipe and the jaw moves around a little bit. I love this effect. It's so great because when this robot gets his jaw like totally fucked up, he looks exactly like Robert Zedar. Yes, he does.

100%. I love it. Like a hot Robert Zedar, actually, yeah. Yeah, not too shabby. Too bad it's all puppet work. But actually, this guy playing the character is quite attractive. We meet him with a shirt off.

It's got like a sexy chest tattoo and whatnot. Oh, my God. You could put a charcutory platter on that chest. My God. And since he's a robot, you could actually cut the meat on it, too. Yeah, indeed. Ooh. I love the thing about...

You're all right, too? You're all right? Hold on, no. We'll give him a second. You could cut the cheese on it, too. We're talking about olives and gherkins. Pardon me? Girkin and small pickle.

They're merkins, because Robocop would need a murkin because he doesn't have the pubic hair. My pubes were all singed when I was murdered originally. But thankfully, the Detroit Police Department shelled out a couple more bucks for a murkin. He's cool of Robocop wore underwear. It's just everything else is the same, but he's wearing box of shorts.

Like Superman? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like just underwear outside the metal? That would have been a very weird fruit of the loom ad. Do you think like when Robocop, If he ever, like, you know, someone on the force has like a barbecue or something. Sure.

Like, oh, hey, Robocop, coming to my Memorial Day barbecue. Do you think Robocop then dresses like every off-duty cop where it's like a tight pair of dungarees with a fucking tucked-in polo shirt? The back of it says, don't worry, I'm definitely not a cop. Like, I just, his casual wear. I wish they would just, like, I don't know, put a fucking hoodie on him at one point.

Burger me. Give me the burger. Wow. Does anybody need me to tap the burger? This keg, the last one kicked. Anyone else want baby food on their burger? Can you believe the Detroit Lions lost that game? They had a win probability of 66.1%.

It's insane that they actually lost that game. Murphy, never tell me the odds. I'll cut a hole in the watermelon. You get the vodka bottle. Party here. I love this scene, though, where Jill Hennessy, like, gets down to this underground layer and realizes that Robocon, There, like you mentioned, the kid is, like, sitting there with Robocop.

It's a weird, like, pseudo-Santa Claus situation. But, like, it's so... God damn, it's so funny. Because this little girl is like, you know what, Robocop? It's so great to be teamed up with you. I can't wait until we can hit the streets and, you know, find my parents. And you see Robocop, like, wait a minute. And he does a little, like, Robocop cycling through his computer brain,

and he finds the picture of the father, and it's, like, shot dead. And then scrolls some more and finds the mother additionally shot dead. And then he's like, he's like, uh, yeah, the great thing is your parents will always be with you if you remember them. Isn't Dr. Lazarus kind of like a mother to you now? A little bit. Your parents are currently offline. I didn't have the heart to tell you because I literally don't have a heart right now. My programming doesn't let me

soften blows. Your family is murdered. So this kid puts her head down on his lap and for a moment he's like, should I do it? Okay, I'm going to do it. And somebody put a petting protocol

in Robocop? Yeah. Oh, I've crushed her skull. Yep. Dude, that's what it looks like. He's looking like, oh, fuck, take it easy now. You've crushed things like this before. Remember there. Remember Lewis's cat that you murdered? And then Lewis's second cat.

Then she stopped inviting me over. Tell me about the rabbits, Lewis. Tell me about the rabbits. We got a great scene where like if this was a better movie, it would be awesome. Where a Tomo goes to like this gas station because every kills this hillbilly, he pulls out this little like transparent piece of plastic paper with like a little route on it. So he steals a map of the entire city

of Detroit from this gas station. Here's the thing. If you guys are ever going to become insurgents or whatever, just tell your friends the cross streets as to where you are. Don't draw a fucking map. And don't put the root on the map in bright red and almost say

you are here at the end. Yeah, you never know what a computer might find that. But this is just it's so stupid because this guy like he opens up this map of your whole city your whole big beautiful city and places this piece of paper down

and is like, got it, that's where they are. I do like the scene of him hassling a shopkeep, you know? That's the scene that would be better because in a better movie that's made for adults and we're not trying to sell fucking toys and cartoon episodes, he would have butchered this guy.

And it would have been fucking hilarious and it would have been great. He fucked up his sign, which is pretty cool. At least he did some property damage. That's what I care. They're out there breaking the windows of the best buys. No. A robot stole my map. Yeah, he starts fucking

with this guy who punches through glass and steals the map. He's like, hey, you've got to pay for that map. My life is worth 91 cents, exactly. Look, if I meet if I see a guy, if I'm working that job and I see a guy, if I see a guy that attractive and he wants a map, he takes the map. Oh, yeah.

How low. How long have it. It sounds like it takes a lot of things from you, dude. I would give him a map to my house. But I think Steve... A map to your heart. I think, though, to your point about this, right, is like if a person comes into your establishment and smashes through a thing of glass

with no problem and takes a map out of it and then you yell, hey, you got to pay for that, what is the expectation then that this glass punch is going to go, oh, I'm sorry, I think he'll be free. Oh, oh, here's your 96 cents. Yeah, this guy just wants to die, I think. He's figured out the easiest way to do it. Well, he lives in Detroit.

That's the movie. That's what the movie says. It's the movie. We've never been here before. We have no opinion of this town. It's the movie telling us. We've had a great time so far. So far so good.

The movie, the movie says. Yes, indeed. We do, speaking of action figures, when Jill Helen, they're like, oh, blah, blah, blah. That's Robocop's Jetpack. We might use that later. I believe it's called Chekhov's Jetpack.

Yes, exactly. Oh, my God, we have to go to KB Toys after this. There's a robot jetpack from Robocop. You shouldn't be watching this movie. They should call it a jetpack. They called a flight pack. Oh, right. Was that copyrighted?

I guess. Jetpack? I don't know. Just call it the thing that everybody knows it's called. Stupid. That crap, we're running it out of it. A fly pack. I don't know.

I'm running out of it. I do love Robocopra. Replays, like he's calling up a YouTube video. Lewis's death, and he's just like, replay, replay, replay. Put on the hits. And then he realized he has to go kill McDaggett, so he leaves, and he blows up the police station here. This is a guy, this is where you meet your favorite character. My favorite characters is all.

guy at the police station. I kept on, I've quoted this for years and years and years. I thought it was from a better movie from one of the other two. But it's like, you got a, you got an alien cop, you got a ghost cop, you got a vampire cop. Is it trying out material at the police station? Is any of this working? You think it's funny or what? Look, Leon, I went to your set last Saturday.

It didn't work then. It's not working now. Let me play it straight with you. But I want to specify. this guy's got awesome ideas. Alien Cop, Ghost Cop, Vampire Cop, I would watch all those movies. I think he was working for 20th Century Fox at the time.

There's probably all of those. Yeah, yeah. You think so? Alien Nation. Alien Nation, that's alien cop. Forever night, that's vampire cop. But Ghost Cop would be so cool, right? Like, oh, the criminals are at their secret hideaway

and suddenly the dishes start moving. Isn't Ghost Cop angel eyes? No, there's nothing The J-Lo movie with Jim Caviesel? There's nothing supernatural or interesting about that movie whatsoever. Okay.

Should be really clear about that? I thought, okay, I thought it was a ghost. You thought she came back from the dead? Yeah. I saw that movie in the theaters and it was like before I started smoking weed and I still don't remember a thing about it. You're fine.

He winds up going to, Robocop bursts in. There's a warrant out for his arrest, which is kind of hilarious. Yes, and then this is the sergeant's like, Robocop, you know we're supposed to shoot you side on scene right? And he's like, yeah, got it

anyway, where are all those Nazis you have hidden back here? Well, yeah, what do you talk? Like, what, did you ever talk to the other cops about what happens if Robocop does something wrong? Put handcuffs on them, that'll work. No, yeah, there needs to be a switch that's just like, he needs this.

Yep, there should be a kill switch somewhere. After two movies of him tearing down the city. You might think they'd even decommission him at this point. Robocop's at it again. Oh, fuck, we forgot. Well, he's 21% more efficient than a regular cop and 98% more lethal.

Gotta keep him going. Works. Is this where, there's like, yeah, he goes to the back of the police station and there's like a couple of these guys hanging out and one guy's like, got a light. And then the other guy goes, here's scumbag. And ooh, it's Robocop.

And he starts flame throwing. Yes. Kind of great. It's great. I just realized something. The way to make these self-driving cars happen is to put a human brain, a dead human's brain inside of it.

That makes a ton of sense. You start with Elon Musk. You get in the car, there's like a human face stretched out across the dashboard. And it's like, where to, buddy? Where do you got to go, Roger? I'll take you anywhere in fucking tune town.

By the way, Motor City, these are the ideas you should be coming in with. This should be the retirement for every NASCAR driver. They should all be putting cars, Exactly. You put a number three on it. You know who you're riding with. Can I... Well, the numbers let you know for everyone who you're riding with.

That's why they're there. Okay, Gregory, drive to Vitale's Restaurant. I miss my wife. Vitaly's Restaurant. I love her so much. Could you please write her a letter? I only have wheels now. Vitale's Restaurant.

Now I realize they would still crash into other cars and just can't have to. Absolutely. We're all going to hell tonight. Off a cliff. Got it. These stupid pigs are eating at Applebee's again. Bridge and Bankman. Okay, Elliot.

Let's go to the Regal Center. Where am I? What's happening here? It's dark everywhere. Does it bother you that there is no God? Well, no, I was just trying to catch the new Halloween movie. Does it bother you that everyone's going to become a car one day? I don't, you know, I mean, I know there's stuff to be worked out with this, but I think harvesting the dead to drive cars, there might be something.

I do think there's something to it. So, listen, we were driving to my cousin's wedding, and my self-aware self-driving car started having memories from his old life seeping back in, and it was a huge disaster. We were late to the rehearsal dinner. It was awful. My car started crying. The windshield wiper fluid obviously, right? Oh my God, Roger. We're going to be late for the rehearsal dinner. I once had children.

I didn't know that until today. I once had children. Where are my children? We're going to be cruising by their house real quick. You know, we're in the wedding party. We have to be there on time. Sorry. They were in third and fifth grades.

Oh my God. And now I'm a car. How old are they at now? How old are they now? What year is it? Dude, I think that's what that sitcom My Mother the Car was about. Yeah, that makes sense. Well, I didn't hear about that.

My Mother the Car? No, I don't know. Old television show. And then it was a lady that was a car? Maybe. I'd like to get into that. Oh, but that's a nightmare because freaking rich parents will be like, when we die, we're going to have our brains put into two twin Lamborghinis

that we're going to leave to you children. And we will be with you forever. No. You'll leave the the keys in that one, dude. Dad, could you turn up the fan? It's a little hot back here. When are you having children? This was a terrible idea. I've been locked in the garage for 15 years.

All right, Dad. I'm just going to put this brick on your gas pedal here. Is what we're going to do here. I didn't have my soul put into the engine of this car to have a tarp put over me all winter. God damn it. But so Robocop finds McDagget at this weird, like, flop house that he's hanging out in. And, like... It's a brothel. It really is.

This is more Nazi stuff. It's no, it's the, it's like an Elwood Blues flop house. Like, you got my cheese whiz boy? Like that kind of a place. They're with prostitutes. It's like the Nazis in France here. Oh, that's true. That's true.

Here's the thing, though, like, in these kinds of movies, like, let's say another third in a series that's ruined by children. Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, right? In that movie, like, the hoity-toity folks that live at, like, the top of the top of Barter Town, there's at least a nice apartment there. This got, like, they should put these people in, like, a really nice facility to make them like the... You're right, we should be treating them better.

Yeah, wine and dine them. That's the key to it all. I'm not saying me. I'm just saying it would make sense for this movie because they're supposed to be the villains that you hate. Like, they're in a nice place, not a shit-ass flop house. I mean, that's fair because OCP has, like, skyscrapers. Like, why are...

You can have sex in an office. Totally. It happens all the time. Exactly. It's probably happened here. Yeah. Well, McDagget is discussing plans with Mako, Miko. Yes.

The Japanese arm of this whole... The Japanese villain in the movie. And he's like, should I do it? And he just keeps pointing at this briefcase. And this was driving me case. I'm like, what can he do with the briefcase? Is this thing going to explode? No, it doesn't.

No, it doesn't. It just, it controls the other robots, I guess, the other automos. But in a twist that nobody could give a shit, Stephen Root is evil, and it's like, okay. Oh, right, he's crooked. Who could care, huh? When you were like nine years old, we're like, wow, did he didn't see that coming? Yeah. Yeah.

I saw it. He's scourly. Like, I could just tell. I love when Robocop walks in and shoots his way through a door instead of just walking through an or opening it. Yes, this is the other time where he goes, He's very theatrical. It's very dumb.

Now I have no bullets to shoot you, McDagget. Because here's the problem. He's got those big clampers. He tries to use a doorknob. He just breaks it off. You're right. He's got like Dr. Nohans. Exactly. But when he gets in there, he sees Stephen Rood.

And he says like, wait, wait, wait, is this the rebel base? What is happening? What are you doing here? And it's a weird thing, too, where, like, I guess he's talking about how McDaggart knew they were at the church because Stephen Root's just like oh yeah well you know that last tip I gave you really paid off and I was like the

fuck are even talking about I know nothing was there a deleted scene also it doesn't matter there was a brief scene of Stephen Root like freaking out which was kind of nice it's just like it's not worth it man it's not worth it that's Steve in this kind of a society guaranteed so I'd be dead already there's a robot cop

I'm killing myself I'd be taking I don't need that I'd be driving inside of you to go to Halloween kills but I can't drive so you can't turn me into a car I keep forgetting you don't have a license I'm only 37 years old okay

look my buddy the car used to be a friend of my we used to go to the movies let me bring the car into the movie theater please please that's next with the way they're doing these movie theaters

now you can eat and drink and eventually oh I guess they'll reverse that's a drive-in theater you're thinking of they'll reverse an event drive-ins again yeah yeah they should be more popular

to be fans He takes a pimp's car. This is sort of something. Oh, right, because McTaggart, McDaggett. Oh, McDaggett. Pardon me. Does a solid, like, jump out of this hotel window and, like, scampers away. And Robocop, like, yes, goes up to this pimp, and he's like, excuse me, I need your car, honest businessman.

And this dude, like, here's the thing. The gag for this scene is the guy doesn't know that it's Robocop behind him, and he starts, like, talking shit. before he turns around and it's like, oh, pardon me, Mr. Robocop. But, like, I don't know. I feel like if you live in this town, you know that there's a Robocop. Oh, when the ground shakes and fucking this thing's just pounding up behind you, who else could it be?

The elephant detective? Well, it's interesting you point out how much weight and sound he would bring because he gets into this car and the tires don't pop out immediately. You're totally right. His feet should go through the damn thing and it should be Fred Flintstone all the way to the next location. Oh, fuck, now I'm flint stoning to the precincts. Jabba-dab-Dab-Doo.

And it's a dumb, like, car chase where they burn it up this pimp's car, which is kind of fun. It's, like, the whole gag is supposed to be, isn't it funny? Because it's Robocop, but, like, there's, like, fuzzy dice in the mirror, and there's, like, fucking Christmas lights all around of it. But, like,

you also then need, like, a cool, like, funk song. Parliament and Funkadelic should be, yeah. Just get for it. Get P-Funk involved. Get P-Funk involved. Exactly. Because it's just like the super serious Robocop score and like the joke is totally killed. How do I get to Funky Town?

And that's like the only music in the movie and it's just repeating ad nauseum. Yeah, no, can't stand it. This scene doesn't work. I like the move McDaggot has of like using the children as a human shield by tossing out this money that he was going to pay, Stephen Roof. Oh yeah, the money bomb because

he, Robocop is a about to run over about a dozen children. Money, money, money, money. Who do you love? So, like, Robocop's going to kill all these kids because McDaggart threw all this money in the road and they all, like, kind of run back out and get it, kind of, whatever. It's cute.

I like it. It's cute. You know, it's just, it's little kids making this movie better and better once again, of course. But Robocop, the city is on the line. Hit the gas. Totally. Go through these kids. There'll be more kids.

Yeah, they could be... That's the problem. I guess they couldn't be cars. They don't have licenses. I guess they'd be tricycles or something. If I mowed through these, maybe I will have a son. Oh, my God. A little, a little, a little, oh, God.

In the third movie, in the fourth movie, he just becomes this weird, like, I must have a child. And he starts, like, killing kids. Yeah. You know, time's just moving on and on, and I'm not getting any younger, boy, would I like some offspring?

The last shot of the movie is just an infant with a cano eye on. I like this. It's becoming like an interview with the vampire. We are the only real evil left. That's very true. There is a funny, because they can't show

any real violence, of course. So when Robocop does come up to the prostitute hotel, there is this, this guy takes out a gun. And he shoots it like a hundred, Robocop shoots it a hundred times out of his hand. And it's like a guy had

a gun on a fishing line and was just going like this a bunch of time. Not as if. You can see the fishing line. It's not exactly as if. And like, why are you doing like trick gun shit like this? Just shoot that guy in the face. I'm watching the Robocop movie.

Fastest gun in the Midwest, dude. Well, we blew our budget. We could only have three squibs. I'm sorry. If you took that fake gun on the string and put like a little fake fucking Halloween spider in its place, no one would have noticed. Same difference.

Same difference. It's that ineffective and useless. This is when Stephen Rood goes back and reveals himself to be a bad guy. And CCH Pounder, who has been like the leader of this resistance, dies in front of this little girl. It's really sad. But to show her... It's funny.

To show her that everything's going to be okay, she gives a thumbs up. Like, as she's dying, and I mean, like, you're not actually taking the horror out of the moment. You're just ruining thumbs up for this girl for the rest of your life. Never again can she give a thumbs up. Or like, you know, she's just at the store and so, oh, yeah, just give me a Diet Coke? Oh, Jesus Christ! She hits the deck. No, the thumbs up is a sweet notion.

It's like, well, maybe we'll meet again. Like, if you get into a taxi in five years. But it's kind of great because she's giving this, like, dying thumbs up. And then the little girl's like, all right. It's true. What do you do back to that, right? Rock and roll, man. Do one of these, dude.

Yeah. You're checking out. Adio, CCH founder. Nikki, there's one chip left. So at one point, the cops all quit at one point. Well, because, yeah, they're like, oh, we have to go into the city or this neighborhood and really forcefully relocate everybody. Get all your men in an hour.

And then this is like, that's too much. And it's this big, like, everyone's taking their badge and throwing on the floor. but the noise just sounds like plastic every time it hits the floor man this was like you know what just let the plastic hit and then we'll replace it later don't worry about it and someone forgot and it just sounds like

little toy shields just hitting each other it's really bad oh yeah this is the commentary on the movie oh yeah what we did for this scene is we just took empty ice cube trays and throw them at each other we just kept on doing that for a while and that's how you get this sound you know

a bunch of subpar experts on the commentary track I guess because we're trying to do this thing where it's like no there's the bad cops over here but the good cops are over here the whole thing kind of the whole movie sort of amps that up because this is also where we get the news the news team again it's been

it's the same like man and woman giving the news and the woman has to read this thing where it's like oh Robocop Robocop killed all of these nuns and then you see the video feed and it's just got this little thing in the corner that's like reenactment and it's a dead

nun and the robocop foot coming down and stepping on the badge and this woman is like she stands up makes a whole thing she's like this is bullshit she walks off the set but I got so excited for a moment there I thought I was about to watch bad robo lieutenant

and I was just I couldn't wait for him to go oh oh I have a lot of money on the Mets and now it is bad Robocop Port of New Orleans I will jerk off my oil onto your windshield I guess you didn't see that pretty solid Nick Cage movie folks

that chicken is dancing for some reason no no let him go but no it's yeah this is just the media break is over except for later we see the guy picking his nose which is a huge plot point for some reason I love that the splatterpunks get back involved.

Oh, yeah. Because they're like now the bad guys. It's like the bad guys is going to recruit more bad guys to rouse to all these kids. Turns into like Death Wish 3 at the end a little bit here. A little bit, yeah, because like after all the cops walk out, right? Like this, I keep forgetting his name.

McDaggett. Oh, McDaggett. God damn it. How would you and your friend like to make a little money, chum? Yeah, they're about to like this one gutter punk's ready to run out and he's like, no, get that man. How about I give you and all your crazy-ass shit friends

a bunch of machine guns. Oh, I've been shot. Cheerio. Exactly. Oh, you've run over the police station. Excellent. And I need this to be a thing where this blows up in McDaggart's face, right? And all the crust punks come after him instead.

The only joke you get is like somebody trying to put a helmet over a Mohawk. That's kind of cute. Yeah. I guess. It's sort of cute. I mean, they have them at this like training camp and you just imagine there must have been like

at least 400 casualties. of this 30-minute training camp where they're learning how to protect the innocent. And then in like another sad turn of events, like the sergeant is like, they go up to all the rebels in this movie and he's like, hey, you've all officially been deputized by the Detroit Police Department and all these people like are like, yeah, but they should be like, who fucking cares? Society is crumbling.

You're the one that did this to me, asshole. Fuck you. You're not welcome here. You let a fucking corporation buy your ass, you stupid idiots. You evicted us before rehab did, so fuck you. Maybe. I guess this neighborhood of Cadillac Heights is apparently according to Wikipedia, which is, again, maybe written by Bradley Whitford's son, I don't know.

Dennis Whitford. Apparently a lot of the locations in this movie were going to be demolitioned for the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta. Oh, right. So there is a Robocop in Centennial Park. Oh, you think Richard Jules spotted this guy? I do. Richard Jewell would have been an amazing robocop. Right?

Well, he was very alert. He was very alert. That's true. It's true. He knew it. And no, everyone else didn't believe him. I don't know if the donut eating scene would have been so strong with all the metal all over his face. My friend Richard Jewel was railroaded by the media.

If they made him a robocop, do you think they'd like to make him more comfortable in his own body? Would they make him fat still? That's a great question. I don't know what I have the answer to it. He did die. Or you die as a fact guy You come back as a big jacked robocop Like this isn't so bad

No it is so bad I can fit in a medium again You're talking mean to be in a robo cop Exactly dude I'd love to fit in a medium again Yeah But you're a robo cop All you got left is like a chin A couple of nipples and part of your brain maybe

Yes nipples still Well I like to think that maybe he's got one nipple left Underneath that chest plate Just so I can feel something You know Yeah, that makes sense. Just one nipple. Still has a little...

Oh, that's hot. Still has a few skin tags near his neck. Why did you keep those? I was about to say... Just to stay human, baby. Got it. Why did you leave those? This is when he has the fight with Otomo

back at the rebel headquarters. Oh, right. The first fight, because there's like three of these robots for some reason. And this is the problem with the robocop design. Really intimidating, super heavy. Chunky ass? No, the problem is...

Every time he gets knocked over, there we go. Yep. It's just this. Yep. Yes. Yeah, it's a turtle. It's a turtle that fell over. It's Sheldon from Morocco's modern life.

And that's not good. And the weird thing is he's also, I don't know what's going on. I think it's a top-heavy situation. Because, like, there's one point where Otomo jumps over him and kind of just like pokes him on the forehead. And he fucking goes. Of course she does. That's all you got to do. Oh, fuck.

My one weakness, gravity. Well, that's the one, that's the biggest loss of Lewis. Oh, I used to have a friend that would help me with this. Where are you, Anne? And then he gets shot in the head by Robocop. And it's like, damn, why did I use a sword on this guy? It's also just kind of lame, right? Like your robot can get taken out that easily.

It's just so quick. It's disappointing. But then don't worry, folks, there's two more. Who also die immediately when we do introduce them? Yeah, it's not like a T-1000 thing, like, oh, he's better than Robocop. How's he going to win? he shoots him in the head. Yeah.

That's the thing. If there's like the next big, like leap forward in robo technology, he should be better than Robocop. Because I think that's sort of like a weird American 1990s, like, oh, the Japanese thought they built it better, but not better than us! Definitely is what it is. Yeah. Yeah. No, it doesn't make any sense.

No, this model is invincible, and this you shoot it, stab it, or put it anywhere near water. so yeah this dude is like dead for now I guess is the idea and like time is running out for for rip torn and everybody well this is when it turns into fucking cool world when he puts on this jet pack and holy shit the cartoon we're looking at here wow I don't know there had to have been a better way to figure this out well when you when that's the script and you know you can't do it you cut that from the script yeah like should he fly can we afford it no he should not fly but we already ordered an OCP tank, so we need something to blow it out. Sure. I guess so, but it just looks so terrible. This tank just shooting at cops and stuff is

something else, huh? Look, look, yes, the flying is going to look like absolute garbage. But we're going to give you maybe a minute of animation. I know we're saying this movie's bad, but like, you've got to give it credit. It predicted the militarization of law enforcement. That's true. This tank

is coming through the street and all these cops are going, where can we get one of those? Sure hope there's a government surplus soon. Wait, wait a second. No, I should sign up for the rehab guys. Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah, Frank Miller is in the audience. He sees the tank down the street.

There's my Nazi stuff. Thank God. They left it in. Thank God. I thought they were going to butcher my dream. And the girl and Jill Hennessy get kidnapped to OCP, right? That's how this is going to all end. Yes, and that's why Robocop is motivated to put the jetpack

Got it. Because, like, he's turtling. She does that illegal broadcast saying. Yes, yeah. He's ready to give it all up because he's like, well, Nancy Allen's dead. There's no one to help me down here. And folks, this is like the 30th time I've seen this movie because I have problems. And in this closet scene where she does the illegal broadcast, first time I've noticed,

they have collections of arts that we alluded to earlier, literally like written on it, like 19th century French, whatever. it's fucking crazy. And also, like, we're evicting people from this, quote, unquote, like, slum neighborhood and they have priceless art? That's a question. Yep. Yeah.

It's like, oh, we can't eat this month. Should we sell the run war? No, we won't. We won't. Yes, we actually hunted down all the monuments men and had them killed. You should. Fuck them. Oh, my God.

That's a movie you can take an exquisitely deep nap through. How many people saw that, too? this guy fucking opening day apparently was that right opening day oh wow and why Bill Murray was in it oh George Clooney fan that'll do it too

it's a rough times for you sir Bob Balband didn't do nothing for you I want to go to your house and drink some espresso you could be the Danny DeVito to his George I'm the Danny DeVito to everybody sadly I was having lemoncella with George

Oh wow Wait Danny George who No and then he went Clooney Look up that clip from the view I promise you it's fucking Yeah he went on Yeah Danny DeVito went on the view

Completely drunk It was delightful But yeah So they're all gonna go to hell tonight They're all Robocop blasted a window They're like I didn't know he could fly Like we just made that up

So now he can't They fly now? Yeah exactly Well you got Robocops flying now You know when I took this job, I didn't know the Robo Bobby could fly. Now one told me about the Robobby's accessories, you see.

Really wish I could take back that coffee maker commenter, mate. Oh boy, shit. And then you have two more of these Otomos that did absolutely jack shit in the last thing, and are about to do absolute jack shit in this one. They fight them for like six and a half

seconds. I like that we get to tell them apart though, because Robocop shoots one in the head and it wigs out. Well, you know what that is, dude? That's how like we have two guys playing this robot and we don't have to worry about like, you know, dual screen or anything like that because one's just a dude with fucked up face

makeup on. You got to do street fighter rules. If I'm wearing the black costume, then you got to wear the red one. That's how that's going to go. That's true. This is what should have happened the whole time, right? Like the first guy, maybe he's decked out in black. Then these other two motherfuckers come in, that's red and blue. Yes. That's how you do this. Do video game rules. Well, it doesn't really matter

because Nikki and her magic computer come in to save the day. Robocop is there She doesn't connect any wires To anything That's a great point Because she connects a wire Into Ed 209

Yes And Wi-Fi wasn't invented yet So what the fuck are we doing? It's magic It's super magic They are just Desperately trying to end this movie In some fashion

I think is the idea And for once I'm with them And they both cut each other's heads off Yeah she hacks it I guess So it's like The one looks at the other And it's like Enemies

And it's like doubles a cap While they're doing this, McDaggart, it's like, what are you doing? Instead of stopping them? Shooting anyone? He does have a line right here where he goes, all right, Mr. Robocop, come and get me. Kind of great. Mr. Robocop.

That's what he goes to a nice restaurant. Right this way, Mr. Robocop. Reservations under Mr. Robocop. We have a table for you right by the bathroom. It's fine. I don't eat or smell or nothing. The lady will have the Kalamata olives. I would take him to the app.

like Lady and the Tramp. Oh, yes. I don't want to disturb our customers. That would be great. And then they're eating spaghetti and the two robots fall in love. Oh, that's cute. But then there's some weird reaction

due to the spaghetti and they're both getting electrocuted through their faces. Oh, yeah, you can't give a robot garlic. It's like a fucking cat, dude. That'll kill it. Poor vampire cup. Yeah, there you go.

And so they both have a self-destruct mechanism that's going to destroy the whole building. Hey, sure, fuck it. Throw that in it the last second, whatever. Even though the first robot didn't. Nope. Nope, that didn't happen.

And I'm sorry, Mick Daggett, I need a better end than singed ankles. The jetpack falls down and the afterburners fucking burn his ankles off. And he just falls like, eh. And that's it. And then the blow up. I don't know. Like, you probably could hang on to that PG-13 rating, right?

I mean, there's no fucking boobs flying around. There's no F words being used. It's just innocent old ankle singeing. Let me see that. I saw no flying boobs. Not one flying boob. I'm going to tell you that. Well, there was a robocop.

Oh, were they? Nice. Yeah, that flying boob that goes around saving the city. What do they call them, Robocop? Boob in the Archie Bunker manner. They do cut back to Jeff Garland at a certain point. Like around here, like when it's Jill Hennessy doing her impact. And he ate another 37 donuts?

That's what I'm curious. Yeah, that's another scene. He does have a donut in his hand, so, you know, fool me once, Jeff Garland. There's a, that's 72 donuts, that. Robocop flies out with the lady and the kid. They're fine. They're totally fine. I would have an instant heart attack, and I'd probably fall and get burned to death or whatever.

Or he just realized that he broke both their backs because he was holding too hard. I didn't think I had to tell you. you to hold on. Sorry. And the way the building explodes is it fades out to white because we can't afford it. No, yeah, there's just a couple of super fake like fireballs

and it just wishes right out. Oh, you don't want to see any of that audience. Don't worry. And I think about 40 pages of the script fell in the toilet. Because at the end of this movie, Maco bows to Robocop and I'm like, A, who are you? And B,

why are you doing that? That's the first time we've seen Mako in the flesh in this movie. Every other fucking scene, he's screaming on a television. And here comes this legendary actor into this piece of shit movie and he just bows to a robot. I mean, ladies and

gentlemen. After firing Rip Thorne for being like, hey, maybe we just gentrify the neighborhood, you know, like the good old days. Maybe less of the debt squad and just, you know, raise the rent and put in like, I don't know, expensive high rises. A $9 cup of

coffee, that'll do it. Put an anthropology right over there. A few luxury condos. It's just settle everything. And the end of this movie, the last line is so fucking stupid. Because Riptoin is just like,

well, you're bested me, huh? Ha ha! So, what do I call you? Is it Burphy? And he's like, no, my friends call me Murphy. You may call me Robocop. Screenplay by Frank Miller. If you're going to be like, you could call me Robocop 3

because I'm actually not Robocop at all. See? I just thought I just watched the piece of shit known as Robocop. But the thing is about that last line, the first half of that last line, my friends call me Murphy. No one ever would remember that there's a throwaway line

earlier in the film where he's like, I don't have any friends. Because the little girl's like, something, something, what are your friends call me? He's like, I don't know, I don't have it. any friends. But no, he made a friend and that little girl. I know. Isn't that something? What do you mean

you're going to college? Now I'll have no friends again. I must turn you into a robot to prevent emptiness syndrome. Most nights it's just me in the refrigerator. Dude, great new, uh, it's like 30 years later. I think that actress is still working. She's like 37 now. Uh-huh.

It's her. She reprises the role as Nico. She's getting married and Robocop has to give her away. That's beautiful. Oh. That's beautiful. Guess what he fuck. I didn't like that this guy didn't ask for your hand in marriage. We're looking for a new project for Nancy Myers. There you go right there. That's it.

That's beautiful. I don't think I can cut that much of a rug at the reception. Alec Baldwin, we shouldn't be doing this. Well, you offered me the option of chicken or fish. I guess I'll select neither what with being a robot. And that's the end of the movie. That's what we'll come. three. That is it.

The end of it. A piece of shit. Big, big, huge thanks to the majestic for having us, of course. Big thanks to all of you. Give yourself a round of applause. It is very awesome to finally get to this town

and hang out for a little bit. But before we go, you know, as always, when you're looking around for the best place on the internet to find yourself some intelligent, grounded, totally non-insane film writing, the place to go. is the IMDB user review section.

Indeed. So we've got a couple here that we just want to read out. You know, it's important. It's important to support independent film criticism. Absolutely. Hell yeah.

Inane rambling, that's what you're talking about. That's right, yes, yes. So we got two here for you this evening. So we'll do the first one here. One out of ten stars. Oh, no. Words fail me. It was the subject line.

written May the 2nd, 2001, so right before the world changed. Oh, wow, yeah. Written in a different American. Maybe they like it now. Yeah, oh, that's true. Yeah, it's too bad it wasn't OCP Towers. So the first line, the first line of this review is just, uh, words failed to describe the horror that is Robocop 3.

by far one of the worst movies ever made. The first one, which was a dirty, guilty little fun that had charm... What did you just call me? It had charm that this one lacks. You know what else this movie lacks?

Just a few things, really. Plot, acting, good special effects, direction, directing, writing, a reason to be made, someone to set it on fire. Has good acting, shut up. Isn't it kind of sad? when the original of a series are these people

hang on what are we doing isn't it kind of sad that when the original of a series that is somewhat known for its special effects is better than a sequel that actually made it to the big screen what the fuck that's a riddle I don't know I don't know you know what I'm just going to keep going

was this written by The Sphinx this was changing shades okay is the name here Okay. Speaking of which, why was this a theatrical release? Great question. That's a kind of an interesting question. I mean, if it was direct to video, I would be a little more lenient.

But I made my dad drag me and my friends, aged around 13, ex-friends. Now you do the math. They liked this movie. So they waited until 2001 to write that part. Right, yeah. Yeah, these are my ex-friends now. Thanks for nothing, Roger. I think the idea is maybe this guy was the ringleader that was like,

oh, we got to go see Robocop 3, my dad's going to take me, don't worry about it, and then it sucks shit and all these kids stop being friends with him. That's what they said. Drag us all to a sneak preview of this monstrosity. He spelled it monstrosity. Oh, well, at least I got to see it for free and got a free t-shirt to see this movie. And all it cost me was my eternal soul. They're Robocop 3 t-shirts.

I might need to look into this. See what eBay has to offer, dude. I think I will. That's what me... I mean, Frank Miller is the devil. I kind of get that part. You give over your soul. That makes sense.

I have to check that shit for fleas, though, dude. Rating, one start of ten, he says, once again. Disclaimer, not nearly as bad as Manos, the hands of fate, or Hudson Hawk. Okay. Guess we got to just throw that in, whatever the fuck ever. P.S. So dumb. Why would you put this?

P.S. I still have the shirt in case you were wondering. Yeah, I was. Why would I be wondering? Real. Hit me up with the size of that shirt. Let's talk. Are you going to outbid him, dude?

Yeah. All right, we got one more here. All right. Ten out of ten stars. Not as bad as people think. It's not as great as everybody thinks. The best movie ever made, you mean? 10 out of 10.

It's written by Mark Ball. May the 22nd, 2007. This guy's coming to Robocop 3, a titch late. Says, well, this movie isn't on the levels of Robocop 1 or 2, but still is a pretty good movie overall. What did you give 1 and 2? Great question. 11 and 12.

Ah. Weller doesn't return to play Robocop in this movie, but they still do a nice job. I mean, the only thing I can complain about is the violence. PG-13, the first movie had no rating, and two was rated R. I mean, you're making some good words. I'm really, I'm on board with this. Would 10 out of 10 have no flaws whatsoever? Wouldn't this be a perfect film?

That's the idea. Okay. It's the good old American. We don't know how numbers work. It's okay to like a movie. It is. Robocop isn't made out to be a kid's movie. Once again, definitely correct.

It needs blood and gore in it. Yes. Again, one is the best by far, and number two was a very good and underrated sequel. Mm-hmm. Three is not up there in terms of the rating or story, yet I still enjoyed it.

Now, again, enjoyed. Ten out of ten is flawless. Well, here's the thing. Your heart should be racing when this movie is mentioned if it's 10 out of 10, you moron? Once a robotic cop is in a movie,

it's a 10 out of 10. After that, it's up to you. What about robots doing other things? Like that robot taxi driver and that art old movie there. Total recall. Yeah, there we go. Welcome to Johnny Cab.

Yeah. Johnny Cab. Is that a 10? 10 stars? Yeah. Okay. Because he's not a figure of authority. Maybe Johnny Cab had a soul and was put into a car. Yeah, that sounds right.

That was definitely a person, right? They just took the soul and visage of William H. Macy and made it that robot. Yeah, yeah. Got to do something with them. Let's see. Yet I still enjoyed it. The story wasn't bad.

I love Robocop. Obviously. And the movies never get old. I can watch them over and over again. Robo crap? How about not? Robocop rules. We are We 8 movies from New York City, Detroit.

Thank you so much for coming out tonight. Thank you, guys. We will see you next time. Thank you. Bye, bye. That's wrong Don't know I got to I got

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