We Hate Movies - S13 Ep648: Avatar

Episode Date: December 13, 2022

On this week’s episode, the gang gets into the holiday spirt with… what’s that say? Avatar? Sure, why not? We’re talking about Avatar! How incredible is the look of, well, everything on Pandora? How outrageous is Stephen Lang’s Colonel villain? Did Sigourney Weaver’s character have to get that t-shirt custom made or what? How bad does that avatar aquarium tank smell? And why in the world did they clip that tail sex scene in some places? PLUS: Per 'Jigsaw' Jim Cameron, Costas Mandylor to direct Avatar 7!  Avatar stars Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldaña, Sigourney Weaver, Stephen Lang, Michelle Rodriguez, Giovanni Ribisi, Joel David Moore, CCH Pounder, Wes Studi, Laz Alonso, and Dileep Rao as Dr. Max Patel; directed by James Cameron. Perfect for your holiday shopping—check out the WHM Merch Store featuring new SW Crispy Critters, MINGO!, WHAT IF Donna? & Mortal Kombat designs! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/whm and get on your way to being your best self. Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the program, mount up your flying horse thing and get ready to blue yourselves because on this episode, we're talking about Avatar. I'm Andrew Jupin. My name's Stephen Shadak, and I'm going to eat your eyes for Jiu-Jubis. Eric, the way of Cisca. Chris Cabin. And we hate movies. Hello,

tuning in as always. That's right. We're just days away from finding out the way of water. So here we are talking the OG avatar from 2009 directed by Jim Cameron. And I should say if you want the full

we hate movies Jim Cameron experience, be sure to head over to patreon.com slash we hate movies. We're already there's a we love movies episode about true lies sitting there waiting for you. And I got to tell you true lies shorter than this movie more interesting

it's more fun I guess you know I don't have a problem with this movie but it kind of does drag a little for me I feel almost exactly the same way about true lies as I do this movie I have a lot of fun with both of them I don't want to die on a hill for

either right I think they're both incredibly well made and just like the problem with this one is the white savior bullshit bugs me as a story tone. It just, it just, I can't deal with it. Uh, and the problem with true lies is it doesn't make any sense and it just is a jumble. Uh, they're bloated good times. Yes, exactly. Chris, can't you appreciate the towering achievement of making a movie like this? My God, the towering

achievement. Thank you, sir, for making two billion dollars. My word. Is this James Cameron's Renfield that, uh, you're doing here? Okay. It's about 22. percent of the internet. Okay. Yeah, that's right. People love it and it's okay to like it. We're going to kick it around a little bit. But remember, it's totally fine to enjoy it and love Avatar and all that good stuff. But the towering achievement, Steve, was hurtling us into the darkness of 3D cinema for years and years and years. And here's the thing. Everyone just forgot about it. I was so happy. I've been so happy about that. Well, Cameron kicks it off, right, with this movie. And I remember at the time,

like, oh man. Because like, and we've, we've said this on the show before we've said this, do another Jim Cameron movies. Like, do not doubt this dude when it comes to tech. Like, just don't fucking do it. Because he will get one over on you every single fucking time. And I remember

specifically watching the movie the first time. It was, I had a Steve Sadec in Hannibal type experience, or seeing Hannibal. It was a snowstorm situation in Astoria. So I almost fucking drove my car off the road. to see this movie.

I was in the backseat, dude. I know what was going on. I couldn't remember who was. It was you, a friend of the show, Sean Winer, another bud of ours. Yeah, nearly died for that. But I remember thinking like, wow, I've never seen 3D use this way.

And then all these motherfuckers were like, hey, cool, he said it's a good idea to do it. And then they were all doing it and post-converting and not really giving it thought or planning of any kind, you know? The thought process was, what we need to do is we have to make some way

we have to make it look a good reason why we make tickets more expensive. So what we will do is we will do this. And like there's Coraline that I think uses it well. Hugo I think uses it well. There are gravity. There are films that do use it well. But it was like Clash of the fucking Titans,

which is like nobody needs to see that in 3D. Nobody needs to see that in D. Wasn't that also starring this motherfucker by the way? It was indeed. That was part of the whole fucking wrap up with him. is like, you got him with this movie, which I think he's serviceable and fine in. I kind of agree with that.

Yeah. And then they were just like, well, he's in the biggest movie that's ever existed. Therefore, we have to put him in everything. But yes, he was putting everything because of this movie.

And audiences, he wore out as welcome with audiences because he was in 3D and everything. And it's like this fucking potato head guy walking around still. With his red nose and his pink ears and his dumb hat. his hot wife I do think actually

he's actually really good in under the banner of heaven that was the first time I've ever been like I hear this wow Sam Worthing that's great what on earth is that

that's the Mormon show that was on FX with Andrew Garfield he's one of the other like he's an antagonist in the show I'll tell you what Steve FX did their god damnness

to cover up that he's in that show it's uh holy shit I think it's the Into the Wild Rider yeah it's him John whatever Crack Hour

Crack hour, he wrote the book. But the, and this is the fictional. Good book. He's really good. And so is Wyatt Russell. So there's just as an awkward. I love that Wyatt Russell, dude. Um, but it's interesting to your point, Chris, about the 3D because I was realizing today, today was the first day that, uh, or first time, whatever.

The first day I started watching Avatar and that's right. Yeah. And now I'm in a weird fucking time tunnel thing where I'm doing the episode, but I still haven't finished the movie. technically. Make for the summit tomorrow. I understand. It is, it is crazy. I put on that movie this morning and it feels like right now I've lived two weeks. But that airs longer. You're like, wait a minute. I clip my nails yesterday.

But that is, to be fair, that is the James Cameron special. All these movies since T2 have been at least 30 minutes to an hour longer than they need to be. I say including Titanic in that, which is so much longer than this. not by much but yeah but the thing about it is so this was the first time I rewatched Avatar

on a small screen I saw twice in 2009 in theaters and that was it and I've never rewatched it aside from maybe like flipping here and they're like

oh it's Avatar changed channel immediately but I realize like without the big screen and without the 3D glasses I feel this about this movie

the same way I feel about the film Gravity it's just not worth it to me just to me just to me to watch this movie without that much immersive spectacle because I don't have anything to really grab on.

Gravity, way more of an emotional story, way easier to be affected. But as far as like the fuller, real 100% gravity experience, 3D on a big screen. And this, I was watching it, I'm like, yeah, pretty colors. You got beautiful creep-grop creatures and lands and everything. The tech looks great.

I got nothing to grab on to you. I would say, like, if you had like human body, to look at. I mean, because after a while, I mean, the CGI in this is good. You know, it's fine. You know, it's a technical achievement, et cetera. A towering achievement, you fool. Yes. I think Conan O'Brien used to do that impression.

But it's, you got, after a while, it looks like I'm watching Jar Jar Jar Binks is running around, you know? I can't admit to that. Like, I am pretty regularly throughout this movie was pretty, uh, knocked out by how it looked. I can't really I can't really art like even as it went on I wasn't and I was genuinely like

when the tree goes down I was affected like I wasn't like oh fuck that I felt for everything like I wasn't like oh fuck those people I mean that would be some reaction I was just kind of like there's a tree 11 every character looks identical pretty much at least from a distance

so after a while you do fall into that trap that like modern Marvel movies have where it's like it's a bunch cool looking colors just slamming each other or okay it's a bunch of colors slamming ass I mean that's the thing is I mean like at a certain point like I actually like the beginning a lot more than I

remember it you know what I mean I kind of like you know just going in between the two et cetera et cetera like I definitely want more stuff on actual earth which would be cool but like when that second hour what I like to call disc two of the video game is when we're just

when he's doing all of his training sequences and stuff like that I might as well be watching Pricksar's bloop. You know what I mean? And it's the Native American Pixar movie. It isn't interesting. And maybe an old Native American woman dies at the beginning and everyone feel sad about it. I just, I can't get that invested in it. Because to Eric's point, yeah, it's just a bunch of colors moving around. I don't think anyone's very particularly well drawn as characters, not even just like visually. Like, you know, Laza Lanzo is like the number two who I love on, what do you call it there, on the boys. And he plays Mother's Milk. He

Yes, and in this movie he's playing Tutsi, like the sort of romantic rival and like he dies at the end of this movie I'm like, oh yeah, that guy is around. Dude, he dies in this movie and like the only way you're even your eyeball is even able to acknowledge it is you're like, oh yeah,

he was the dude that had the red necklace on when they went into battle, but he was only wearing it in the seven seconds leading up to this battle. And before that, he's just been like everybody else. Just give me another bite. type or two of these creatures so I can understand which one is which.

You know, not for nothing wanting to see myself on screen a little bit. Where are the fucking lazy pigs of Pandora? You know what I mean? Come on. What does like a wide dude and at least you know, I don't know what he looked like in 2009, but in the boys, he's like a wide guy. He's just fucked. He's built like a brick shit. He's like his face. You know, you're only

acting with your face in this. Exactly. Yeah. So it's a detriment in a way. And I understand technical achievement, towering achievement. I also do think that, like, the internet so loves this movie. And part of that is not only because of the denigration of cinema over these past few years. But I could see being a big avatar guy if I was a teenager or a kid when I first saw this movie. But we were working adults.

That's a good point. I mean, because when you're saying, like, the internet loves avatar, I'm like, not anyone I follow. And not to say that I follow a bunch of avatar haters, I just mean, like, no one. talks about it. Yeah. And is that an age thing? I think because the very few people that I see talking about it now online are just like those critics that I follow that are probably like, you know, 26 or something like that. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. No, I think it is for, I mean, I think it definitely connects more with those people. And also I think, I mean, Eric compared this to MCU. I cannot do that. I think this still looks 10 times better than anything the MCU has ever put

out. That's my opinion. It's not even comparison to me. It's ridiculous. Including Black Panther Reconda Forever. A movie Avatar was definitely watched before that was made. Absolutely. They gave a spin. I almost think it's like a rallying campaign like come on MCU versus Avatar. It's going to happen this year, baby. Here it comes. No, that's all what's funny is sort of the online debate about these films, even though it's the same parent company. Well, I think something you can see is that like everybody is so just hungry for a person with vision to direct a movie that James Cameron

has become a popular again. It happened to Michael Bay. It happened to Tony Scott. It happened to all of them because they're craftsmen. James Cameron is a crap. He cares about this shit. Like that is something I can't, I don't think you can argue with at all. And he's also about this. He's allowed to work in a way where he, his vision can end up on screen. Exactly. And not a bunch of Marvel executives who hired someone who just had a hit indie film to shit out a new property. Just listen to the producers, do the script. You are going to be edited

by our team anyway, so fuck you. Exactly. And Cameron's not going to have that problem. And he's allowed and yes, he's allowed to do that because, and as I said this, I think in the True Lies episode, there is he makes movies for big audiences. Like, the minute this thing goes on the small screen, you lose a whole point, I would say, maybe. Maybe a half point, whole point. Like, Avatar

is incredible on the big screen. It's pretty good on on the small screen. That's got, I mean, this is my second time watching the movie last night because again, like, I watched it in that almost deadly viewing back at 2009. And I never, you know, I liked it. I was like, oh, cool, you know, it was visually

exciting. Like, this look cool, that look cool. 3D was great. And I really never thought about it after that. And then like, you know, it became the punchline that it has become because it's taken so long for the sequel to happen, et cetera, et cetera. And that's been my engagement with Avatar, aside from that great Nathan, Nathan Free, is it, was it the rehearsal?

Oh, no, it's, uh, the John Wilson show. The John Wilson show. Yes. The avatar, uh, the great avatar meeting of, uh, all those fans, which is super exciting and sad, um, which I would have watched. I would watch 90 minutes of that, dude. Yeah. It's nice. Good for them. You guys, you guys are doing great. They found something. But can I, can I throw out there something that I, think, because we're talking about, oh, we would have

enjoyed some information more about, like, Earth or whatever. If we can't have that with footage or some sort of, like, prolog, this would benefit from a scroll big time. It would have, I mean, because you've got this, the opening is almost like a noir opening. Yes, it's VO, too, throughout.

Yeah. But that VO needs to go away at a certain point because sure does. At the end, when he's just like, yeah, because the tree is so important. I've been watching this for two hours, of course. I know the tree's important. And I'm still updating this real world-esque video diary for the company that I'm fighting.

Also, it does do, I was noticing the voiceover definitely loses its way from like he's doing those vlogs and that's what you're hearing. Yes. To his internal monologue. And it only happens a couple times. And boy, not necessary.

Very obvious. Like, that's just a mistake. is a hunk-hawk, not a plot-hole thing, but it's just like, you fucked up what this thing was. You told us it was one thing. And then all of a sudden, I'm in his head. No, no, no. I'm in front of his little GoPro recorder. Yes.

And I love that, like, so the movie opens and like, it's like, yeah, I got to solve a murder. My own. I mean, my twin brother, you know? Like, I was lying in a VA hospital with a hell blown in me. I love that these dudes, these company men, are talking to this guy about. taking his brother's avatar, literally as he's cremating him. Not the day of the funeral, not at the coffee shop. Like the thing he's about to hit boop, boop, burn my brother.

And they're like, yeah, so he got a little business opportunity for you, you understand. Listen here, Jake, Sully. If you could go ahead and press that red button and incinerate your brother's corpse, we could get on to talking to you about getting on this spaceship today. We have other things to do. You understand the time is a wasting, brother. So sign the paper. Right. So when does his brother's cremation?

Okay, fuck. Yeah. We'll meet him there. All right. Let's just go. We'll go. We'll meet him at the crematory. I just like what we know about the brother is that he looks identical to him. And he had a PhD and all this fancy stuff. And well, he was killed by a guy with a guy with a gun for money for the paper in his pocket. And I'm pretty sure that's probably Sam Worthington who did that to his brother. I don't think you say I think you say it like that unless you're trying

to hide something like crime is it's out of control we just got to give up on earth dude exactly that's why I had to get out you had to get to Pandora that fucking line though is it that is a total noir line just imagine it said this way like yeah see my brother was gunned down see by a hoodlum looking to get all the paper

that was in his profit it absolutely is fucking like 1940s C grade noir long because I just want like I know this movie's definitely long enough and you could definitely find this 10 you can take 10 minutes from the middle which is fucking as soggy as anything and put it up top and just

like let me just see him roll out of the fucking crematorium let me see the Blade Runner world let me see how shitty it is and I know there's an extended version of this and I think some of that does happen it's not good it's oh you don't say no I mean like

whatever you don't like on this is this is much worse got it there's a whole thing about like I think you see Sigourney Weaver teaching there's a whole thing about Naviri what's the Zohiri

I want to say Nikiri Zoe Saldana's character Natiri Natiri she has a sister that was killed I think by the military I there's some other stuff For the

The hair in her pockets or something I was just trying to try to think of what any of these people use I don't know paper currency So that's the thing is like No currency no pockets It's a cool and beautiful world of tranquility with these aliens, but I, you know, you don't go beyond the bow and arrow, really. I don't have any sense of the society besides that.

Well, you never see them eat. Am I wrong? Like, I don't know. Well, Jake Scull. Sully, he munches on some fruit at the start, but that's at the military compound, but I imagine it's local. Yes. I have a question about how all this works. So the whole, like, I mean, I don't know, maybe I'm jumping the gun here,

but like this whole thing of like you get into bed and then they close it like an MRI machine, you go to sleep and you wake up and your consciousness is in the avatar Navi body. Okay. And then when the Navi avatar goes to sleep, you wake back up in your body. So my question is, is if you're in this program and you're flip flopping back and forth like this, is your brain like ever sleeping? Like is Sam Worthington just going to bed? I think later in the

later in the movie what you're called Sigourty Weaver because that was something that bothered me in the middle of the movie as well. Later in the movie Sigourney Weaver is like you have to go to sleep. You have to go to sleep. She's like trying to put him to bed at some point. See, this is another reason the internet loves this movie. It represents the gamer lifestyle. He should have some monster energy drinks right next to the thing.

He should put smoking cigarettes the whole time. Oh yeah, dude. You know that Norm Spellman characters chugging fucking monster energy drink. Me and Norm had an epic avatar sish last night. We were playing basketball in the backyard. It was an epic sish. Norm, you got to let me in.

I got to go see my girlfriend back in the forest. You got an avatar date sish. I got to get to. Let a class out of my date? He is not. I mean, look, and he even says, like, he said that he found at this point, the Navi accent easier to do than the American

and I'm like I can it shows Of course because one's just a fucking gobbledy Glark language that they paid some dude to make up And the other one's an accent you can't do All this is just a future bullshit world Let him have an Australian accent Exactly he can just be an Australian guy It's fine

Because we're working for a corporation here And not exactly the US military It's not military It's definitely all like black water type Which I think is a little bit of chicken shit To be quite honest it's slightly yeah i mean that is the future i kind of get it but like well that's actually fair and he is at least using colonel still because this delusional motherfucker and stephen lang

it would be you're talking about a fucking sadworthic being a detective in a film noir he is an anime yeah he is straight out of an anime i it's i i think it was just something that was big at the time so they so chris did they hire like the guy with the pointiest face for that yes no no no he He's the general who doesn't talk gruffin to like this. Hey, I need that tomorrow. Give that to me. Okay, I was thinking to the Cape guys. I like those guys too.

Oh, well, yes. Cape would be nice in Stephen Lang, honestly. But so we're told that, you know, there's all these. So it's Pandora. So here's another thing that I wish there was a scroll for. Because Pandora, we see all, I love all the space graphics, by the way. There's a ship and all that stuff. It is very, very beautiful.

Pandora is a moon to another massive fucking planet and I just want to know like what's going on there are there people on that huge planet that's like 10 times the size of Pandora? Oh it sounds like someone is asking for five more movies

Excuse me You know what Chris I'm going on record All I'm asking for is a scroll dude fucking one hondo words Sops man sorry movie's been made Five more movies are coming to explain to you how the big planet works. Is there a comic book that I can read

to brush up on how the big planet works? No, you just got to survive for another two decades to get all these movies out. You know what? I got 20 bucks on gas giant. Sure. Oh, see? Oh, that's the fucking coward's way out, isn't it? Oh, sorry, it's just a gas giant. No one lives there.

Yeah. No story to tell there. Or do you think all the fat people are down there? Well, you know, nobody is ever a high. Hi, that's James Cameron here. No, nobody's actually filmed a gas giant in reality. So I'm going to do it. I'm going to create a gas giant. And then, yeah, that's going to be Avatar 7.

I'll be making it when I'm 120. Gas giant, dude, like the clumps. I mean, the whole Avatar sequel thing reminds me, you ever see that great Mr. Show sketch with mustard A&As? And it's the one where Bob Odenkirk is trying to make a sandwich for his daughter by putting mustard and mayonnaise at the same sandwich. and like he's just getting older and older

and the daughter is like a little girl and she's going to college and it's her wedding day but he's still making the sandwich and then at the end it's an old lady and she goes daddy I'm dying it's going to be me watching this last fucking avatar movie

Avatar 5 I was going to say Eric was also complaining about the different avatar creatures oh don't you worry there's five movies coming and you're going to see so many different avatars so many So he gets there And I mean like you know

Stephen Lang is like is the big scary Colonel Colonel Miles Quorich God damn it's the most hostile environment imaginable Welcome to Pandora There are Pandora rules I want every last little charm

On your little bracelet That's what I need. Welcome to Pandora I need the music sign on your little bracelet I need the time you went to Disney World On your little bracelet What's that little girl? Girl, you like eating hot dogs. I need the hot dog charm on your little bracelet.

Pandora bracelets. Put it on your little bracelet, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, yeah, little girl, Pandora. You're going to tell me you give a thumbs up to the talking heads, and I'm going to give you another selection of songs you might also like. That's right, boys and girls. You ain't in Spotify country no more. this Pandora. Look alive. Look alive.

So one of the guys that's along with him is Norm Spellman. And this is that dude, Joel David Moore is like a character actor. Wasn't he in like Dodgeball among other things? Is it a grandma's boy? I think is it in the titular. No, he's not the titular grandma's boy. He's like the bad guy. Oh, nice. He's in the first hatchet. There's now like three or four hatchets. I could not tell you. That sounds like a fake avatar sequels to be. They're actually making hatchet movies. there's like three of them

or something. Yeah, that's right. I got a little hatchet on my little bracelet because I love that movie. I just watch it. I just swap through it and see all the big scenes and hatchet. That's right. I was dying for a new big bad horror movie monster franchise and hatchet

delivered the goods, which is why I wear a hatchet Pandora bracelet. He's not named Jason Ford, but he is Jason Ford. He's essentially so why the fuck wouldn't I watch this? I scarred my face falling down at the multiplex scene hatchet

but I kind of like I like how it reminds me of the world this fucking scar thing dude I'm like you were a botched security guard at Jurassic Park with this fucking thing well he says like he's like hey you know like

there's it's one of those things that we do it in future movies it's fine but it's like wait what is it's like that's right I did two tours in Nigeria didn't leave with a scratch job I'm like what are you doing in Nigeria wouldn't you like to know James Cameron, I know you're listening, prequel, the Nigerian conflict, please.

Sure. Go, do it. In space? If you do it in space, he'll do it. No, it's in Nigeria, Chris. Well, the space Nigeria, he'll take that. No, no, listen, there'll be a scroll at the start that explains to the nerds that Earth is already in space and is therefore cool as hell.

See, the only, no, this isn't going to happen because James Cameron's going to want to build Nigeria. Like, that's the only way this goes, Eric. Okay. I mean, honestly, I think Nigeria would like $140 million. Sure. It might be the way to do it. I don't know. We also meet at this point, Dr. Max Patel, played by Dilip Rowe, who kind of rules. He's in Inception, among other things. He's like one of the assistants there in the big van jump scene in that movie. Yeah. I feel like he went away.

He was one of those character actors that like a huge moment and then I haven't seen him in a while. Yeah, I don't, you know, he's allowed to stay behind on Pandora at the end of this movie. So maybe he's still there. He helps find out the way of water, dude. I mean, I don't know. Probably. They do a good job at like introducing us to all these characters really quickly because then we get right to Grace Augustine, which is Sigourney.

She's the head of the avatar program and they don't do this enough. There's a couple shots of it. And even though it's fake, I appreciate it. She's just smoking in this science life. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, please. do it more. Do it more, please. It's a CGI cigarette, which is fucking stupid, like, stupid, I don't know, smoke

fruit tobacco or something, but, like, I appreciate that in 2009, we had a character that was a scientist, and she was smoking in that lab, and, because it's Sigourney Weaver, she's just smoking. She also is, like, super pissed at Jake Sully when he shows up, because she's like, you're just a dumb grunt, I don't want you in my project,

et cetera, et cetera. He's been, because it is a cool opening, so, like, you get the whatever, like, you see him in the crematorium, you do see him like emerging from hypersleep, which I always love. A sucker for emerging for hypersleep. And like, he's like, yeah, it's been six months since I'll lift earth or however it is. Like, what do you think they started telling Sigourney Weaver this dude was showing up? Was it yesterday?

Because that's pretty shitty. I think it's like, oh, hey, Dr. Augustine, we're in the transport, getting ready to shuttle you over to where the new recruits are coming in. Oh, by the way, Sully, yeah, he's dead. We got his twin brother, though. Buckle you see felt. They told her just in time before they started butchering up that body

which then no one could use because it's like a partial clone. Yes. That's why, yeah, the whole thing is like, you know, your avatar is linked to your DNA.

So because they are twin brothers, he's able to slide right on in there. But if he, if he hadn't been, there would have been as a nice big barbecue or something. Oh yeah. Get chopin,

dude. Send them, send them some meat, some nice charred meat. I assume Dr. Augustine, they have to, like, tell her to not smoke while coming down, like, in the transport, like she's in a helicopter trying to light a cigarette.

They're like, please, could you just, it's not going to work up here, even if it is CGI. I mean, like, the thing is, like, the amount of money it would cost to make one of, in, in world, one of these avatars, it just like, it does, I know that unobtainium, it's like, you know, it's $20 million, they say per kilo. it's still not enough money to make this many of them and like they don't even they don't even do anything oh you're going to go and negotiate a peace

treaty you never see him do that yeah what's so interesting about that is like it's like oh we can't have this guy and there we're supposed to have these scientists that like study the language and stuff and they're even less effective it seems like the program is a complete failure yes exactly and how much money did you fucking toss

in the toilet for it well I mean that is that to be again is pretty realistic and that the whole point of it is just a fucking mine out whatever the fuck they can get. Yeah, I think Chris is realistic because there's definitely what happened in some capacity, but it would be mainly for sex stuff.

Yeah, also that. I mean, I'm not saying that's not happening. That's probably an avatar four. That looks the horny one, I think. When she, oh yeah, the horny sequel. When Jake's Sully's finally in this avatar body, there's a moment where he has his tail, his

hair tail, his ponytail thing out. And she tells him that if he keeps playing with it he'll go blind so he's just hanging there with his dick out. Yeah, his hair dicks. I mean, they're like they're little, they're like little tentacles essentially. Yes, and Chris

in this society, sort of like your favorite film, Zoo, the documentary from 2007, you can just shove it, you could shove that hair dick right into a horse or whatever you want. Sure, I suppose you can do that, Eric. Yeah. That's how you connect. That's how you like

bond with nature. You put your dick and things. And that's what this movie is. It's even worse when he puts it, I think he puts it in the the bird or whatever. Yeah, the dragon. Yeah, you're mine now. Oh, yeah. You like that? You little dragon. Hey, hey, look at this. You're ready for this? Close your eyes. Bam.

Hair tail. Oh, I didn't even put all the hairs in yet. Oh, there's too many hairs for you. You know what I did? Weird flying horse thing. You know what I did? I dominated him. Oh, yeah, I dominated him. Yeah, that's what I did. I dominated him. Going to turn you into a shower drain, mate.

Oh, this dragon. Yeah, this dragon's my sub now. Yeah. I will say Cameron himself is horny for these Navi. No two ways. Of course. Oh, big time. He probably has a doll that he fucks or something.

Especially at the end when, like, it's, and it's, you know, if you're really invested in the movie, it's beautiful. When she finally sees tiny little Jake Sully and she picks. him up. Oh, my God. Is it it? How you doing? Crush me like a

bungling to Hamilton. All of that just blew my headphones out nice and well. Blue. Oh, yeah. We also meet dude who doesn't get his in this movie and what the fuck are you doing?

Giovanni Rubisi is Parker Selfridge. He's like the manager of the company who's doing all the mining of the unobtainium. And let me tell you something. This guy needs to be set on fire at the end of this movie, fucking launched off a mountain, something.

Just the fact that he gets to shuffle off this planet at the end of the movie to shrug in his shoulders. I'm so sorry. It didn't work out. Get ready for the sequel, right? He's supposed to be in that again. So they'll probably rip his head off or something.

I hope so. Because I mean, I think that's the thing. It's like you, uh, Jake Sully need to understand. Like, nah, sorry, Nivie. We can't let him go. that easily. They'll never learn their lesson. Send them back in buddy bigs. Yeah,

exactly, dude. Just get a spaceship, turn them all into fucking, you know, pudding. Put all the pudding in the spaceship and just send it back to Earth with a little note on it. It's fucked around and found out. This is pudding. This is pudding. This is pudding people now. Putting people, yeah.

Putting people. Yummy. Maybe that's what he puts his hands in when he's painting himself white in that one scene. This is Oh, yeah. That goo scene that he puts his hands in goo. Not enough goo scenes. Probably not.

I like some slime, too. Some slime would be cool. I mean, it's a little slimy. It's slimy goo. When they, you know, start making out, they just slime each other up, right? That would also be hot. I don't think they're going to go the society way on this. I don't think that's James Cameron's way.

You don't have to go the whole way. You can just slime it up like a Nickelodeon game show set. Exactly. Which is also unfortunately erotic. and Rabisi's whole thing is he's stoked about the Jake Sully switcheroo and in fact okayed it because he's like oh be great now

there's a Marine that's on our team or something so he's stoked to have like a grunt in the mix who's not a lame scientist or whatever because scientists are rebels don't you know and the soldier will take orders and the thing is he does Stephen Lang takes him a sign as like

well listen to me you son of a bitch I need you to be undercover for me even though I control this whole fucking thing and can just see the footage of what they're doing all the time but I need to know the emotional intelligence what do they give a shit about do they give a shit about this tree or that tree

and therefore I can use that to really fuck with them yeah exactly it's like oh they care about that tree then I'll really fuck that one of Yeah, yeah, that one is going to have to go first. That's going to have to be the first one. I need you to go inside your $2 billion outfit and figure shit out for three months and learn exactly nothing I can use. Yes. Hand me the most obvious intelligent, like the, okay, now the big tree, they really like the big tree because it is big.

Okay, got it. I could have figured that. And is that the biggest tree they have? I need to know that before I hit it. I have now learned everything I needed to know with took me. six months and fucking $20 billion are you fucking around? Oh, and by the way, Jake Sully,

I am so confident in the way in which I will waste money. Before you are going to finish your mission, I am going to pull you out of this program and send you back to Earth to get your spine fixed. I love that he doesn't. He's like, all right, you told me two things, and I don't

want you to finish the job. Go ahead. I got your legs. Don't worry about it. Get home and have your legs. So it's day one of him you know we're going to do this transference get into the avatar body it starts with fucking hilarious shot here of like the

lab or whatever and it's like you're seeing the chamber where the Jake Sully avatar had been like floating in the amniotic fluid or whatever and Norm has some comment about like oh yeah they grew them you know on the six year journey out here

or whatever so you see that tube and they've taken the avatar out and put it on a table and there is a dude like a fucking circus janitor or like a zoo maintenance guy hosing down this fucking avatar chamber? Oh my God, these fucking Navi smell well these fake divi the real divi smell quite nice

The synthetic ones smell like shit though Oh I think we got Thank God we have these masks on you don't know They corroded the old ones They just evaporated off the guy's face Once he smelled it It's like a dirty diaper with spoiled meat in it Smell like crocodile

It's a real synthetic smell You know how to alien blood rots through the ship? Yeah, just the smell rotted right through the mask. It's going to stink through the hall. It's weird. You don't, the weird one thing, and I mean, they never tell you this in this movie, which is a really important rule that I need spelled out very early on, which is if you die in the avatar, you die for real.

I need to know that. You never know what happens if somebody dies. The opposite. it like yeah that thing can die and you'll be fine because the only time you actually see what might happen is that towards the end I think Norm's avatar dies and he gets out kind of clutching his

chest but that's two and a half hours into the movie so like when Jake Sully is like jumping around and trying to catch dragons like am I supposed to be nervous for his well-being not like exactly yeah or is he just going to wake up in the bed and you know I'm pretty sure that you

have to like for at least if you are in the synthetic thing like it's not it's not Matrix rules. If you die in Pandora, you don't die for real. I don't think that's the rule. Well, they prove it with the norm character. The avatar gets like shot the stomach.

I need that up top. I need to know what's that. You know what I mean? Or not even up top, but like you also don't even realize, it takes you a while if you're me, to realize like these things aren't exactly dovee either because they have five fingers instead of four

and they have eyebrows. Oh, I didn't notice any of that. Exactly. It's an affront of God. It's an alien human hybrid. and it should be burned in a fire. But to Chris's point about, you know, it's not the Matrix rules,

but there is a moment once we get the, eventually when we go through all the him learning everything, we do get his pods. He jumps. There's pods for one. And then he jumps as like the big, one of the big tests.

And he, he doesn't pass it because no one does the first time. He falls down on a mushroom. Yes, he does. I know. It's a two hour and 40 something minute movie. You might forget that he tries to, jump at one point he fails can't even cling on to a vine and then he's saved by falling on a

mushroom big soft mushroom and there's a lot of falling on big leaves I appreciate the big leaves look very comfortable hell yeah I honestly love that they sleep in yeah yeah well those are nice dude the pods are nice but like there are several shots of just humongous leaves that break his fall oh yes and he's like sliding off him like that would be nice that if if anybody is trying to do an amusement park ride for this shit that would be nice yeah just push people off a fucking building and have a couple of banana leaves on the ground. And not a building, a rock formation. Excuse me, sir. A cliff, if you will. You should know about cliffs. Do we know a single person? Have you heard of anyone that's gone to that

Pandora Park? No. Right? Okay. Life's too short. I mean, Jesus. Why? It's the same thing with that what's the fucking uh the dance the first flight of the turak tarak the dinosaur hunter what the yes oh the dinosaur oh the the um the uh cirque du selay sirc to so yes they did the the the the the scene you don't see which would have been a nice scene to see uh when he takes on the bigger uh dragon thing right when he when he fucks that one as well when he fucks that he puts his dick inside its dick um and then it goes and they they become bonded yeah That is in a Cirque de Soleil performance. Which, I don't know.

It makes sense, I guess. Well, here's a thing, though. Chris described to you everything that happens in it, right? Or like what the story is. There is a filmed version of this listed on IMDB. No. 80 minutes. Wow.

No, sir. 80 minutes. Come on, Cirque de Soleil. I wonder if that's how he got the money is he's like, look, there's a scene I'm cutting out of it. you can make it your next Cirque de Soleil thing. Will that get me 50 grand to finish this fucker? But loop back around an avatar world really quick.

It would have been bigger. Had we seen their food? Had we seen, you know, fleshed out that world. Because if there was like, oh yeah, the Pandora bar,

now we're talking maybe. Oh, yeah, dude. Right. Well, oh, and then it's all, oh, here it is,

right? It's like the bar is on Pandora. And so because of that, it's all like the size of Navi. so you just get a beer and it's like a huge fucking glass of beer normal size for a Navi

but for us human folk huge you gotta drink the whole thing one gulp frog and all because there's gonna be weird biological shit in see this is why you guys would never be able to blend in

with the Navi they would think this is disgusting they're saying you're not actually helping the core you're not helping the nature you're right there's too much gluten for them right there's too much gluten

and you're too much hanging out there's not enough activity going on I do agree. I don't really see the Navi getting wasted, like it's shit hammered at a bar. They'd be like, what? Why? That's my fucking favorite war. Change. Turn that shit up. Yeah, exactly. Like, there's no fucking, like, soccer team for them to root for me. I guess there's no, no culture worth saving there then. No, just there's no nightlife, Eric, is what we're saying.

I'm going to join up with Colonel Quidditch. I was going to say, we do see a lot of speaking of being horny for these things. we see a lot of big, beautiful feet in this movie, don't we? Oh, dude, feet of all kinds, huh? And they get you at the start, right? Because when he goes into the avatar and, like, of course, this man

who has been paraplegic for a while is going to be wiggling them toes. So, like, that's your one. That's the one that you get. Like him marveling at, oh, my goodness. My feet work again. But after that, dude, there's no excuse for all them toes in this movie.

Nope. Well, look, you try being friends with Quentin Tarantino, okay? That's James Cameron's, you know, he's like, that's my buddy. I'm going to get him. Are they friends? I think so. They've done like interviews together, I think. Ooh.

We already talked about, you know, what, you know, Colonel Quidditch or Quarich, you know, getting Jake Sully to be this like sort of undercover thing. He needs an org chart. I'm sorry. Like, who, who am, exactly who am I reporting to? Is it the scientist? Is it Packer? is it the is the colonel i just need to know who's who here or maybe i'm reporting to trudy chashon

played by michel rodriguez yeah who who offers to take him on a side mission which we do not see they needed another gunner on one of these flight missions boom blam blah she's gone from the movie for the next three hours you know why she's there for the third act only basically michel rodriguez is thrilled to be sixth build in your movie and i love that about her she's just Oh, yeah. She gets up for it. She's like, that's fucking awesome, man. I get paid as much. And I like, I have 20 days off on set. Great. Love it. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, it doesn't interfere with her drinking schedule. Oh, now. Listen, that's a positive in my book. Sure. Wasn't a positive in her book, dude. I got her fired from lost.

And did it also get her fired from doing the pre the movie pre show when she did the Resident Evil thing and she was drunk. You saw this, Chris. Are you the only other person? Oh, my God, it's my favorite thing of the world. Yeah. Oh, yeah, she's like some, it's like some, a publicity interview where they're trying to talk about some movie and she's wasted. They're talking about a Resident Evil movie, whatever, whichever one it is. Listen, like, it's heard Villaljovich, and she's just like, this girl's been in all these

movies and they're awesome. She's the bad. Yeah. Listen, I can't still, you know, throw stones about that because I was just as wasted for our Resident Evil episode. At this point in the movie, though, something I want to point out. Because we're, you know, we're praising the graphics and everything. Yes, technical achievement.

We'll say it for the 40th time. Towering, right, Steve? It's a towering. Tectical achievement, my God. Do you know, do you know how much money this movie made? That means it's the best movie ever made, you fucking imbecile. Do you know how much money this movie made? Do you know how that personally affects me?

Until, of course, the best movie ever made now, Avengers Endgame finally toppled it. My new God has arrived. I love the tups of the box office. Oh, no. So he, he's like working on one of these fucking neck suits, dude. And he's like, all right, you go undercover for me. I'll fix your legs. Now I got to get in my little rover.

And let me tell you. I got to show you how this functions a little bit for when it shows up in the third act of the film. And I just wish we spend a little more time on this because the fucking. human head inside this thing looks terrible. It looked terrible in 2009. It looked terrible today. It looked terrible when they did it in whichever one of them fucking

Marvel movies where you see Mark Ruffalo's head in the big... Oh, yeah. Hulkbuster shoot or whatever the fuck. I believe that's endgame and I believe that's... Jesus. That... You want to talk about moments at the movies, right? Like, movies you'll...

Moments at the movies you'll never forget. his fucking helmet opens up in that movie and you see Mark Rappalo's head my jaw was on the floor my jaw was on the floor you've got to be like we have to cut that scene or we need to fucking push this movie back two months

we gotta fix it we gotta fix it we gotta devote a whole fucking Korean animation warehouse to fix this fucking thing it's the worst looking thing I mean you know what he's been in eight of these movies maybe finally we just know what his voice sounds like yeah sure have to pop his fucking head out of it

this is a technical achievement that did this influenced marvel this is why this is partially why everything is cg i now that's all same exactly so that you know i mean like it's hard to love love love all this so like whatever he like loves being uh an avatar now he's running around they're like avatars playing basketball big sexy security weaver and then i just fucked somebody and i'm hanging out their t-shirt stamford shirt comes out it's like all right guys All right, Jim, put the boner away, buddy. She had a custom t-shirt made for this avatar for her alma mater. If there is anything more obnoxious, I can't find it.

That's what radicalized Stephen Lang's character right there. He got that request, and he was like, this is fucking stupid. All right, we got to get a soldier in there. I can't these fucking scientists keep on putting needles in my trees. I can't fucking deal with it. We got to fight the Navi, because look at this. Pandora sizes at the Stanford bookstore now. You've got PXXL

happening at the Stanford bookstore. Wow, what a marvelous achievement. You're so proud that you got accepted to do school. You had a custom-made shirt to put on your fake alien body. Wow, I'm impressed. Very easy to get that shirt when Stanford is the only college on Pandora right now. They're the only one who has a satellite campus on this.

Bob, I got two, I got good news. bad news. I got accepted to Stanford. I know you're excited. But actually, it's the Pandora satellite. Yeah, so it's going to take me 10 years to graduate, six years to get there, four years of study, and then also another six years back to Earth. I'm going to major an

enormous basket weaving. I could get a doctorate in killing blue people. Honestly, I fucking wish, Steve, I would love to see a basket being weaved. I would love to see anything about the culture. I know there's prayer and there's reverence for nature, which is

awesome, but I need a little more of this society. Maybe you're going to get it in the way I can't wait. You're definitely going to get it. I don't know. He's going to find the time in three hours and 12 minutes. I just don't know. Well, good thing. There's seven more being made somehow. And he's like planning them after his death

jigsaw style. Like a... Hello movie theaters. Because like what? Six and seven, he's not going to direct himself or whatever, but he's left plans for his assistant Amanda and detective costo mandelor. Costas mandelor to direct Avatar 7.

That's how they get, that's how they get Catherine Bigelow back in the mainstream movies. He calls her back, much like Jigsaw calls back his victim. Yeah. He calls back Catherine Bigelow and he's like, Catherine, you must direct Avatar 6 and 7,

the way of dust or whatever. You're now selling me on the 6 and 7, by the way. It's when he's dead. They do the autopsy. It's fucking gross. They just find this little wax. little tape. Hello there. I guess you thought I was done

with the way, after the way of dust. Incorrect, Avatar 8 is happening. The way of death. My disciple and ex-wife, Catherine. We'll be taking care of it. My disciple and ex-wife,

what is his fucking nexium? So he loves being an avatar. That's great. And like, they, yeah, we don't see this side mission where he's a gunner. We do, it's like the first big, night out. We're going to go and just like

see what's going to happen. But the funny thing the thing is like you know, Jake Sully's an impetuous guy. He's kind of an asshole at the beginning of this movie. You know, he's got a lot to learn. So he fucks around and he does find out as well. Oh yeah. He fucks around getting chased down by this hammerhead rhino.

Sure. Looking creature. That's what I was calling. Oh, no. Is that what it is? Is that I just don't give a shit about it, but I agree. I wrote down dinosaurs. there is a dinosaur panther later and then there this i i had i had a hammerhead elephant that's what i oh nice with mud i mean it is funny because it is essentially what gets you him playing with the plants is essentially immediately what gets you killed an alien covenant

yeah you're right it's just like this it's just like no it's not that it's actually the humongous fucking elephant thing that's going to almost kill you before the panther thing tries to kill you. There is a out and out Flintstones joke at the start of this scene because they're in the chopper with Michelle Rodriguez and she's dropping them off in this area. So

yeah, we can just get acclimated and Norm and Dr. Augustine are taking soil samples. Real exciting shit. And so Jake's always looking out at the Majesty of Pandora from the skies and everything and the chopper flies past like some, you know, what weird bird looking

things. One of these things looks right at the camera and may as well be like it's a living like when you're designing a computer animated thing to spike the camera well done yeah I mean like you know all these animals are like you know

exciting I think that the the the hammerhead guy is cool this fucking we needed to go back to formula on this fucking panther looking thing that thing the little panthers are cool I like the little ones but the big one I'm not I think they needed to like bloom it out a little bit more

from the little ones. You know what they kind of look like? You remember in Mario 64 when you activated the green question mark boxes and it turned you into like metal Mario? No, I do. Well, all right, two or three ain't bad.

It's that kind of just like formless, shiny, like it looks like a moving statue in a way. Yeah, it's like glistening but not wet, which is a problem. It also looks a lot like all of those faceless thanos words from Infinity War that

Oh yeah Or Mukanda if you remember that part Barely Uh But yes And And what's the other thing About these guys that I really

Oh Here's one to point out It's the first time This happens So yeah Jake Sully In this avatar body Right

So he for all intents and purposes Looks like a Navi But he's got Human clothes on And of course He's carrying a gun And the thing that I realize

is really awkward. This happens a lot with Jake Sully and I think maybe Sigourney once or twice but it's definitely Jake Sully he's the A number one offender here. When you're in the Navi body and you're using profanity yeah weird look yeah like right here is the first

one that kind of happens where like Sigourney Weaver's like oh stands your ground against this hammerhead elephant thing don't back down and you'll be fine so he like screams at it and the thing runs away but it's like ha ha the joke is the big other creatures behind Sam

Worthington right and it spooks the animal but Sam Worthington thinks that he scared it off and he's like yeah that's what I'm talking about bitch and I'm like I don't know man and there's other parts of this movie where he's like god damn and look at that shit

like in this blue body and you're like I don't know seven dirty words you can't say as an av I ain't a teary My cock is itching after that Six last night Can I get a bud wiser That reminds him doing that thing

Which is what he's like Yeah bitch and the things behind him Reminds me of I think my first day of second grade I was playing gotcha last With some older boy That was like the new my mother What is gotcha last? It's kind of like tag

Gotcha last You're back and forth back and I get him last. I run inside the car of the woman that was driving me home, another friend of mine and he's like about he's about to shove his arm in the window. Nice. I push up the

electric window and I'm looking at my friend like, hey, ha, got that son of a bitch. His face goes to horror. This kid's arm is stuck in the window. He's like, oh, you son of a bitch, you're breaking my arm. It's the first time anyone called me a son of a bitch. That's incredible. Yeah. I did have to.

break off? Was there bleeding or anything? No, no, but I just, you know, almost crippled. And he's, you almost, okay, so he didn't get it. So survive. It would be cool if he did because then he could, you know, go into a navvy body. Did you get it though, Steve? Did you get in trouble? No. He shouldn't be fucking around, dude. Yeah, no, okay. No, I was going to say, Steve, if you had gotten in trouble, well, that's fucking, that's indefensible, dude, you were being messed with it. Exactly. It's bullshit. You were just doing window shenan again. You were just playing. It would be fun. And so I realized this time

through a thing that just, especially when it's not on the big screen, there's so many moments in this movie, especially early on where we're getting the run of the planet, whatever, where we are just getting in chase scene after chasing. And so like, he gets chased by this one thing, falls down a fucking hill.

And then, like, the sunsets. And he's getting chased by these other things, like wolf-sized creatures, like, right after. They're babies of the thing that just. chase. Oh, is that the deal? Yeah. Okay. Their tiny versions of it. But it's because

this is all being cheated for 3D, it's nauseating the look at in a small screen. It just is. Like, you know what I mean? The way the camera's moving around, it's just, it doesn't, it's not nearly as exciting and it's aging a bit like, you can tell like glooping, like glooping up that torch

in 3D would have been more interesting looking with all that 3D gloop and glop on it. Right. Yes. But on this, it's just like okay so he's like wandering through the forest at night and this is like our brief introduction to natiri here this is uh zoi seldanya and um she's like about to assassinate him which i fucking love and then like she notices the little like white fluffy thing like lands on him and that's like the planet speaking to her or whatever and she like cool this guy's cool

lowers the weapon i was like oh man dude who's about to have a fucking head shot this movie the white things fall down and because she's also seen Miyazaki movies she's like oh that's got to be important I better fucking figure this shit out oh you're making fun that's actually their police officers all right Steve and they're saying

look this guy's cool all right back off we know this guy he's cool back off we made a deal with Pandora land if a bunch of Willow the Whips like escorted me out of that bar for drinking too much it would be interesting oh that'd be cool yeah like oh oh Mr. Ciske

they're asking you to leave also you're too drunk to fly your horse home so Eric just use well collectively cover you in little fuzzies and fly you home that's not true I could put my dick in anything I could drive that horse with my dick yeah John Waters is directing Eric Siska's Navi like he's just trying to give booze to all the Navi and give cigarettes that might be a new thing and you know Elon Muscoi no listens to the show but maybe that's the new Tesla thing is if you're not able to to get hard, you shouldn't be allowed to drive because you're too drunk. You know what I mean?

Like that's a good move. That's a great way to ruin the company. I agree, Steve. I think that's a fantastic way to end all of this. Then I think it's a great idea because I love ruining things. Everyone on Navi is pedophiles.

That's why we have to destroy them. Actually, we are actually building a separate non-petophile convention. to get Jack Sully out of Pandora because the pedophiles have been bad at it. They can't find him. Yeah, pedophiles terrible.

They kill children and stuff. But our cars do it much more effectively. Well, that's what's funny. It's like, so he gets lost in night and Niteri finds him. And she's like, tell you like, you stupid, don't be thanking me for killing something. You know, all this stuff.

You know, love the land. You're like a baby. And I mean, to be fair, he is. I mean, he is a baby. Like, I just like the way that she says, baby, you are a baby. That's one of the English words she learned. Yes. That is what's weird about this, too, is he's constantly giving all these speeches in English.

It's like, hey, yeah, yeah, translate. But most of these people already know the fucking King's English here. Well, because what should have to call it, Sigourney. Yes. In her character, and I have to be clear. Her supreme naivete, almost criminal naivete, she's opened all these schools to sort of, because she thinks this company gives a shit about the Navi, like, I mean, like, you know, like, if you were a schoolteacher in like 1664, you're like, oh, no, we're just,

we're just going to share the land with the natives. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah. They don't have all of the history of all of fucking imperialized society. Lady, you've got a fucking doctor from Stanford. You should know where you're fucking, where this is going. We need a little more with her just like, because you could easily explain that.

Like, yeah, this company is terrible, but like who would, what scientists would turn down an opportunity to study a new alien life and a new planet. Oh, yeah. And of course, to be built by, you know, the most evil people on Earth.

Of course, you would love to do that. The funny thing about talking about how like, you can't tell them apart, I could very easily tell Sigourney's apart because they make her look exactly like her. Whereas like Sam Worthingtons does not look looks like

a different character. That's right. Chris, you could tell her apart because she's wearing cargo shorts and shit. Well, no, she also, she definitely yeah, she definitely has, it's like Sigourney's chin like way more than the other characters for short, like including other characters

like we meet right here because they, all right, so they get captured or Jake gets captured by, you know, the rest of the community when she brings them, you know, brings him back or whatever. We meet Natiri's parents. played by the great West Studey and CCH Pounder. Hell yeah. They don't look anything like those two characters, you know?

So a lot of this I was like, because, you know, they just have these fucking, you know, alien names and whatnot. And I was like, all right, well, I'm trying to listen, you know, and I was like, all right, well, that's definitely West Studi. Okay, there's definitively CCH Pounder. She's got a beautiful rich voice that you, you know, you do not mistake for anyone else. But like, they're not saying the names right away. So I'm looking on I and D.B.

like, who the fuck are these people? Totally. Do you ever see that great clip of Dennis from Always Sunny doing a CCH Pounder impression? Yes. It's life-changing.

Just at FYI, if you haven't, listening at home. You know, and so West Studi, I think it's him who declares Jake Sully's like the first warrior

dream walker. And that's how they sort of sell it too. You know, they sell it to the Navi, the same way they sell it to the company, which is like, hey, he's not a scientist. He's a strong warrior guy who knows how to fight and everything.

This is insane that this whole society just rolls their back over. Like, well, he likes to kill things. So he's better and he's fine and we can accept him. But that's the thing is like, and then like, you know, they're like, all right, we're going to let you learn. They're going to teach him the ways which would, which makes Gordon, we were really happy. It's like, oh, wow, this is what I've wanted for so long. Finally an inn for anthropological purposes. And then Stephen Lang's like, excellent, in three months, you will, I don't know, tell me where the tree is, which I know where it is already.

So it's the big tree over yonder. That's the one they like the most. Okay, the big tree. We'll be attacking that. Thank you for the intel. That costs the cost people billions of dollars to achieve. Well, that's like, he gets lost in the woods with the Tiri. And like, they just like send out one team to go find this billion dollar clone thing that they created. And like, yeah, you would have to send out. Of course, Stephen Lang's going to find out about this shit. But they're all, they're stoked because they've discovered back at the research command center or whatever that underneath the big tree village where they live is the largest supply of a, you know, of unobtainium they've ever recorded on the moon. So he's got three months to ingratiate himself and learn the ways of the folks. before the dozers get there to bulldoze. But also, but also to, he says specifically, and you have three months to negotiate their resettlement,

which he should try to do. You know what I mean? Like, because when the dozers comes, like, oh, fuck, I just got laid last night, mate. Like, you know what I mean? He needs to be like, listen, it's going to be bad. It's going to be really bad. Well, I think part of it, though, is like, they won't,

they won't listen to him until he's one of them. so he's got to get through this whole thing. But then you're right, Steve, the problem is he fucking gets it wet on graduation night. And he's too cum drunk the next morning to go fucking Warren West Studi and CCH Bounder about what's going on. And the fucking bulldozer comes and totally wipes out their first fuck pad. We need to get that unattainium.

First, we're going to get those dozers out there. And then we are going to drill right through that McGuffanite and get that unattainee. Where's the resurrection tree? I want that next. I want that next on the list. we killed the big tree. Apparently, guys, unobtainium was also in the core

2003, previous episode. Mm-hmm. Oh, what's the 5 million degrees or whatever? Yeah. Yeah. I just think this shared universe,

you could easily bring in characters from the hit movie, The core. Don't they all die? No, I think that there's, but at least some survive. Chris, that doesn't stop anyone on Pandora.

Oh, sure. they could be reborn as Navi, I suppose. What if it's a thing where, you know, the events of the core happened, they thought they saved the day, but then trouble started anyway. And then that forced the society, because this is like 2150 something, right? Sure. That forced the society to start concentrating on deep space exploration. And then here we are, you know, whatever, 100 plus years later, boom, it's the same universe.

I think it works. I think it works perfectly. why do I need unobtainium in that movie Fair enough To obtain it I think I think because the drill Nees to be made of it

To get to the core Okay yeah I think you're right That might be it I don't I do not remember that I listen I know someone's gonna tweet at us That this is a real thing And we're showing our ignorance

That's all right But the uh This is my favorite part of the movie When you know You get to learn how to do a double jump, how to check your inventory, where in. Well, I was going to say, that's the reason he doesn't do any of the shit.

He's like, I mean, just to like his point, like, yeah, like he has to get involved. But also, do your job or learn to fuck fly a dragon. How about that? How about that is your two options in life? I would also take the fucking flying dragon. Wouldn't you? Would you just like, no, no, no, no, no. No, I'm going to do my job.

No, no, no. Of course I want to fuck fly a dragon. You get a wet on graduation day. You fuck a horse, you fuck a dragon. Of course, that's what you're going to do. That's what life's about. It's not about telling people, look, your whole life is going to be destroyed in about, I don't know, three months. So, yeah, she does teach him about, hey, you know, this is how you bond with this fucking flying horse thing, using your hair and whatever.

And so there's a lot of, like, cutting back and forth between, like, him on Pandora avataring it up and then like him back at the base or whatever informing everybody of what he's learning

and around here is when you see Max Dr. Patel spies him talking with the colonel in Ribisi and you don't have the scene here you just see the reaction you know the consequence to it

he tells Sigourney what's going on and she's like oh here's an idea we're going to go we're all going to go shift camp to one of our science stations up in the floating mountains because there's Avatar tanks up there and we're far away from fucking Stephen Lang and his bullshit.

And all of this, this whole sequence of Michelle Rodriguez flying them to you know, get the go to the station up there rather. It's all fucking great. It's beautiful. Seeing all the flying mountains and everything, very cool. Except for the very clunky James Cameron line of

you've never heard of the famed famed floating mountains of Pandora? That's a weird thing from Ned or whatever his name is here. Norm, but they don't, they try to set something up and then immediately quash it

where it's like Norm is jealous because Norm has been studying for all these years to do the Avatar program and then here comes Jake Sully and just falls ass backwards into it and he doesn't know anything. and yeah, I think that's where we're using this line, but it's just like

characters that are way too into the thing that they're researching or whatever are sometimes bothersome. And yeah, that line's a clunker. I mean, the problem with Joe David Moore is that he's just not as hot as Jake Sully is the thing. And his avatar isn't hot either. I got to say,

they did this guy wrong by also making him a little bit Sigourney-like, like it looks a little too much like him. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, give him a handsome guy. give him like the, the, the, uh, betrothed guy look. Come on. Also, missed opportunity for these flying mountains because when the whole world turns on the imperialists and start, you know, the birds and shit start attacking, how about a fucking

giant mountain flying at them? I'd like that. Yep. Yep. Yep. Find a way to bring one of those fuckers down somehow. Yeah, absolutely. Maybe it's talking. It's eating some boulders. It's just, you know, listen, look at it, look at at this last night. I was like, ooh, man, I'm T-minus fucking five buds from that fucking Zelda game. Look at it. out everybody. You'll never hear me podcast again in May. But yeah, the thing with Norm is so funny, though, because like once they get to the, you know, the new station, uh, we get another fucking classic Jake Sully video log. And just in one sentence, he's just like, yeah, you know, Norm's kind of coming around to me now. That's all fine.

Anyway, it's like, all right. I guess that's something they tried to give this poor character. And that was it. That's all that made it. and he's like, man, here's a clunk of line too, by the way, Steve, in this vlog, he's talking about how he's learning everything and it's like, you know, she's teaching me atchery and learning the stupid language and whatnot. And then he goes, I really hope this tree hugger crap isn't on the final. Yeah. There's going to be a final. Isn't that funny? So funny. God damn. That sucks. so this is when the movie gets really soggy just to be completely because it's like it's like four training montages stick together back and it's like you know

the whole like he has to pick his dragon and it's the dragon that you know this part of this ceremony to become a man you got to you know it's the dragon that's going to fight you on the cliff and then it's like later you know and then after this scene where he finds his dragon he fucks it he flies it which is great and all then you know four

45, 50 minutes later, it's like, I need to find this dragon, oh, different one, a bigger one, orange, I need to find, oh, it's going to fight me. It's such a, it's just over and over again. Great point, Eric. It's such a fucking weird thing because, you know, Zoe Saldanya, she's just like, yeah, Jake Sully. So, you know, you pick your guy and your guy's going to pick you. And if you're a match, like, it'll work or whatever. And she's like, and then you're linked for life.

And you're not going to fly one other fucking bird horse. And I'm like, well, so did that? guy now. I mean, I guess at the end of the movie, we do see the big red guy fly away. You have a horrid dragon sleeping in your tree. You piece of shit, we were supposed to be made in for life. I'm sorry I'm not a big red dragon. Tora 4G. Oh, do you want that look, that hook with a big stone thing coming out of the front of my head and out of my chin too? You don't like the normal dragon look anymore? I'm sorry, I'm a thousand years old. It's just, we're going to condense this.

You would have gotten the white savior shit earlier, but you know it's fucking coming anyway. Of course it is. Sure, but like, they do set that up. Like, she talks about her grandfather writing like the, this dragon before him. And like, like, so like that made sense. I wasn't like, oh, fuck this when that happened.

I was like, okay. I wasn't fuck this. I was just like, there was a more economical way to tell this story. I just wanted to know where the other guy was. Yes. Chris, it's James Cameron. You identified part of the problem. That's his way.

My point way back was not fuck this, Chris. My point was, are they leaving the blue guy in the garage or something? What is he doing? He's flying off. He's flying back to his friends, I think. I want to see where it is. Okay. May I remind you, you are going to find out the whole history of this dragon,

probably in the third one of this movie. No, I mean, that dragon just goes back and just fucking orders too much pizza and listens to the magnetic fields, feeling sorry for himself. So he goes, you know, the first challenge is, you know, he's like, you got to go where the banshees are, ooh, rah. Oh, vomit with that shit. That's the thing. James Cameron, we can't be critical of the military because the military rocks.

Yeah. It's cool dude stuff, dude. It's pretty cool dudes and armies being army and they're arming and. Well, they protected him while he went down to like visit the sea creatures, I guess. So, yeah, he's probably, well, because he became a documentarian for like a decade between Titanic and this and just did the sea voyage. Right. And then he learned that no one wanted to watch it. So now he's back. He's like, fine. Okay, I'll make a narrative feature again. I'm coming back, baby. Yeah, that is kind of funny that it's like, nobody wants to watch my Titanic documentary. I'm going to make another one. Nobody wants to watch my Marianas Trench documentary. guess I'll just go make Avatar

and show you all. All right, that's it. I have to build my own spaceship and document the whole thing. Okay. All right, that's actually going to be as expensive as Avatar. Okay, I'll do Avatar. Fuck it. Less dangerous that way. So, yeah, he goes to find his Forever Horse, and

it is, this process is great. The whole, like, you got to tame it or whatever. Because he's just choking this thing out. Yeah. It's fucking awesome, man. He's got it like a chokehold. Like, you're mine now. You're mine now. you're mine now. It's like, let me go at some point in this movie

because this is what he's like, yeah, I'm learning all sorts of ways of being Navi. And you do see the, what do you call it there? You see one Navi funeral and it is just a fucking Navi in a hole. Yes, it's so good. He looks like Dominic, you son of a bitch. It is

a shallow grave, probably on the side of a road. Yeah, they had a problem with someone from another tribe. So they beat him to death with aluminum baseball bats. They believe in ditch burial here. They just throw the dead in the, that is literally what it seems like. They're just like, yeah, we just throw them wherever and then become part of the earth next.

That's awesome. That is a nice way of doing it. Yeah, I like that. So we get, there's another vlog where, and this is kind of interesting and they don't, again, explore it that much, but it's a cool idea where he's like, oh, you know, my human body now feels like what the dream is because I've been spending so much time. time with these people. And like, there is a fascinating, like, mental fuck around with all of that that I guess Chris Cabin's fucking saws all excuses. It's James Cameron. But like, you know,

give me some of that. That's an interesting idea. I think that's actually like, I forget who, but I think someone on earth had the, I don't know, tribe or wherever had the notion that like the dream world was the actual world and really more so than the world we're in right now. So I think we're kind of just piggybacking off that idea here. Starting to believe we're all living in a simulation. Pandora's the only true reality. Me and my friend Matrix kid. I'm telling you,

I'm telling you if he could chat with his buddies and like do the soft A N word in the chat while he was doing this, he would do it forever. He would be really happy. He would be drinking the monster energy drinks and just do it. Call a duty and some other. things.

That's an idea. Call a duty, colon Pandora. Oh, yeah. I'm sure that'll happen. I would love to shoot some of these things

in a video game. The people and the blue guys. You just want to shoot all of them. Oh, yeah. It's just, you know, Stephen Lang,

because they've been away in the mountains, you know, doing stuff. He's like, Hey, Jim, am I still in this goddamn movie or what? Exactly.

He comes in. He's like, excuse me, you've been gone for six weeks. Am I here still or what? Can I kill the tree yet or what? Come on. It has been the second act for fucking ever already. What the fuck? I'm supposed to be in a third act.

One of them scientists told me that tree's been standing for centuries. It's been standing long enough. We've got to get that fucker down. Soggy we say about soggy weeds, Jim. Soggy weas. You know what we say about soggy weedies, Jim? You never eat them. Soggy ass second half of your mood. It is soggy. Might as well be oatmeal. Why?

Never mind the weed. Just get the oatmeal at that point. I'm going to get a little Moby Dick charm for my little bracelet. You know why? Because this is taken for fucking ever. You might as well, facts, Jim. Now, I'm suspecting the big tree over there. I'm going to wait for that intel to come back on that big tree.

I'm going to be sitting here for six weeks. Stephen, again, hi, James. Yeah, yeah. I told you, you didn't have to be in character all the time. when we're, you know, I'm not like that. I don't need the method or you don't have to be it. Well, why the hell have I been waking up and getting the makeup every morning then, Jim? Well, I do.

I like the fact that you just kept the claw marks on your head the whole time. I do think that's nice. But yeah, we do need to do a little makeup in the beginning. I mean, come on, Stephen. Jim, I'm spending all my days looking like a dang X-Man villain. This is ridiculous. You know, me, I go method with this stuff. So, yeah, I'm getting to fights at Buffalo Wild Wings and whatnot.

All right, we're going to have to get you in the mecks suit sooner than later. Jesus, God, damn Christ. Last night I was in a New Zealand Buffalo Wild Wigs and I ain't a man's eyes like juju bees, Jim. Because that's what the Navi would do. They're putting in my brain. All right, Jim, you got me. You said I'll be in the sequel even though I die.

That'll be soon, though, right? That's going to be quick, like right after this one. You're making a movie for $140 million. how much more cost a brab a jury give me off this juju B rap so whatever yeah Stephen Lang tries to

he's like all right you've provided me with two things I could have looked up myself on the computer so you've held up your end of the bargain now you're going to leave tonight to go get your legs and he's like nah I'm going to hang back finish this whole thing and trust me I'm going to be able to negotiate

the terms of their relocation I actually, I know it's bad timing for me to get my legs back. It's kind of my bar mitzvets for tonight. It's a ceremony where I'll become a man. Navi bar mitzvah, spooky scary. I'm going to have to do a lot of dancing in circles. I'm getting ready for it. I can't have you out there by that big tree stepping on glass and doing whatever else, Judaism, stuff.

It's about my understanding of it. They have a lot of raisin-based pastries. that I'm looking forward to trying. Wait, are you how, Dorot, while you're reading from the Torah your bar mitzvah? I just cram it in a fucking serious man reference.

Why not? Why not? Yeah, just, there you go. If you're playing charades with me, I suck at. So, whatever, he has this ceremony and West Dutie, you know, welcomes him as part of the people. And he connects to this tree

and can hear all the ancestors gabin and whatnot. Now that you're one of us, Is there anything you have to tell us, any impending doom? Let me ask you this. Now that you're one of us, will our entire civilization be nearly destroyed in the next 36 hours? Do you have explosives? You can tell us.

We're ancestors. Just tell us, do you have explosives that could kill everybody? They also say something. The Sigourney we've here in the middle of the movie says something, something, the trees, their consciousnesses get downloaded in, and every tree to the 12th power or something else

I just got laws Oh yeah It is a real like You know Everything is connected We're all connected All the trees Are connected to one

Another kind of like a huge network Kind of like What they're studying now To believe with like Mushrooms I think do this Yes But yeah

They can all like Kind of talk to each other And yes The Navi can Hook in And upload their fucking Mastodon profile Whatever

It's kind of cool Like this whole like The planet is like a brain is like a brain and that sort of brings it back for when the birds in the sky et cetera can start attacking them later on it's like the entire being of pandora recognizes this threat yeah and jake sully's a bad boy because he asks uh the tree to uh fight the war for him uh oh that's that's a little later he's not supposed to do that but he's he keeps on asking this tree a bunch of stuff he's like oh can i also fuck this girl who's betroth to uh the the

the prince of the fucking the tribe. Yeah, she fucking you know, Natieri takes Jake out and they're walking around like a congratulatory stroll and whatever and she's like, oh, now you can pick a woman. You know, slea slack is a good fucking cook. Oh, that's

cool. And Beverly over here is great at archery and whatever. I don't want Beverly and I don't want sleigh slack. Candice Bergen is a great cook. But she's like, he's like, oh, I've already chosen someone.

She says, I too have already chosen someone. And it was just a fucking blue makeout session. Oh, yeah. Well, they, they fuck. Am I nuts? Did I fucking, what do you call it there? Berenstain bear this? I thought they put those ponytail.

That's what I thought too. I did too. I did have that memory. I had that memory too. I wonder if I was just thinking of because you see it with the horse. Right. Yeah. That was beastiality technically.

so like for the last you know 12 years we've been making fun of the roll. Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. I'm looking Oh no, is it doesn't happen? It doesn't happen. Well, let's roll it back. Dude, if they cut it for Disney Plus. I don't know if it was Disney Plus or Avatar love scene. Here we go. I'm pulling. I'm, you know,

we'll keep talking. We'll do some research. Okay, though, this is going to be great. Now, just describe the slimes you see coming out of their mouths. There was never any slime, Eric. I wish there was. Can I just tell you, should I tell you, hang on a second. and Steve's looking up his thing. I did a cursory glance and just found this headline slash film from earlier this year. The avatar love scene we're still thinking about touch grass. Ew.

What are you doing? Wait, hold on. Oh, there's the tendrils. Yeah, there's a screen grab. No, no, I'm looking at it right now. I don't know if it's Disney Plus or if it was. Yeah, no, the tendrils are making out with each other. They tuck it out because, oh my God.

It's too sensual, I guess. But I've also There's been a few of these because Amazon does this shit too I think it's things that are made fun of a bunch on the internet I think they have a division now where they just When it goes streaming they're like fuck it cut it Like the fucking losers division I forget what it was

Amazon losers division Hey holy shit okay Hang out a second so this This slash This slash film article which I was making fun of Because that is just it's in the chat by the way the video. The saddest title. But they say that that sex scene was longer at one point. The script was nominated for

a WGA award, at which point it made public. And I guess on Ebert.com, they posted an excerpt. Here it is. Nateri says, kissing is very good, but we have something better. She pulls him down until they are kneeling, facing each other on the faintly glowing moss. Natiri takes the end of her cue and raises it. Jake does the same with trembling anticipation. The tendrils at the ends move with the life of their own. Strain to be joined.

Macro shot. The tendrils intertwined with gentle undulations. My God, I just watched it on YouTube. It actually exists. I can't believe it's gone. I mean, this is a sex scene between two blue people, and we're not sticking cocks. I don't understand why you've removed this. I thought this would be the safest sex scene in the world, but even this has to be fucking neutered.

Nope, it has to be neutered. There can be no intimate acts. You have to understand that, even if it's just hair sex. I can't believe I got fucking robbed from hair sex last night, Disney Plus. What am I fucking paying for? That makes me fucking sick. I don't know if it's... Where is my $7.99 a month going, you pieces of shit?

I don't know if it's... It might not be Disney Plus. If you're yelling at me in the chat, maybe there was a different cut or something. But I... Here goes. Here it goes. Oh, God, I'm watching it. I knew I saw this in the theater.

I definitely saw that. I definitely saw that. Because it stuck with me. It's just... Honestly, honestly. good thing. I want something to stick with me and I don't want. It's the only part of the movie I remember. Yeah, exactly. I don't want to remember it for 11 years until your sequel's off the ground and then suddenly you remove it from the film and act like it never existed. I feel like Cameron's got

a lot of oversight on this stuff. So it'd be weird that it was removed without his blessing. Maybe he was okay with it. I mean, once the studio has it, the studio has it, especially with streaming rights. Like, it's not under his purview. But with a big guy like that, I mean, that might be, well, you know, I was trying inside baseball. I was once trying to get a, because when I was working at Showtime, I think we had like, God,

some, I think it was like Django Unchained and my boss wanted me to find out if they, if they could provide a pan and scan version. Oh, and I had to, that movie, wow. I had to cause enough stink because of my boss,

who doesn't understand how things work, sure, that I had to run it up the chain of command to the point where they, they were like, yeah, Tarantino said fuck no. Okay. I think there was definitely like a long time where like directors had say over like what got shown on TV, but I get like what like Michael Mann famously like had a different cut so that it would take up longer on TV for heat. But I think that changed the streaming with streaming. I think it's all like. That is interesting. I'd be very curious to know if that has happened because I even remember a time when Paul Thomas Anderson didn't like the way the master looked on showtime on his talent.

And I had to send the tape back to him and eventually concluded it was just what because for this is way inside baseball, but for when a TV network broadcast something, then like if you have Time Warner cable, that's like you're that it could get fucked up in that process as well. Right. If the cable company is like putting it out. Okay. So here's something. Okay. Apparently this maybe what we all saw was the extended version in the theater. I don't you haven't misremember. I'm reading something from deck Toro.com, who knows. I don't know what that is. But the article is why the Avatar re-released doesn't have the hair scene. They just re-released it in theaters and like, everyone's like, hey, what about the heresy? Like, we were just talking about.

Jesus Christ. In the re-release, blah, blah, you haven't misremembered the moment when they joined Ponetails with their horrible tendrils. A few months after the original... A few months after a nice little cat, Dexertoe.com. A few months after the original movie hits cinemas. A special

extended edition was released, which included the scene you're thinking about. The scene was also included in the extended version of the DVD and Blu-ray. You can watch it here. I guess we, I just, I don't know, like, I guess we saw the extended version, because I definitely saw that. I don't know, like, I don't have memory

of watching Avatar other than the theater, so it's very weird. I've only seen it once. Yes, I've only said it once, and I remember seeing, I remember talking about the ponytail's patch. The New York market was, like, hot enough to take the sex scene on. Oh, like, those fucking, East Coast degenerates can take it.

But, you know, we slip into the multiplexes in Nebraska and shit. You kind of get that tendrils scene out. Fascinating. Honestly, extremely disappointing. I thought it was weird. I didn't see it, but it's like even worse that it was removed. Yeah, that's very weird. Well, I'll tell you this, guys,

I'm just happy that proof once again, constant weed use does not ruin your memory. That's the proof right there. So we get this rude awakening scene, the next morning. He's fucking come drunk. This is, I think, Steve, what you were talking about

where she's like, you got to sleep more and eat and whatnot. It's like, they're about to get run over by this huge steamrolling fucking Fern Gully rainforest destroying contraption. And he won't wake up because Sigourney Weaver's making him eat the worst looking scrambled eggs I've seen since the deer hunter. Oh, God.

Yeah, and she forces it down his mouth. Like, and I would just be like, I will starve. Thank you very much. And he's like, oh, yeah, no, I'm going to eat that fast. And yeah, I know I smell. And I haven't taken shower in a month or two. But I got to get back to my game, Ma. I got to get back to my game.

Listen, ma, I know my bull's stinking. You want to throw up at the breakfast table. But I'm really in the middle of an epic session. I just got laid last night. You know what's funny, too, is now that I'm thinking about it, they do a good job of making his, the human part of his character look like a haggard gamer as this goes on. Because, like, his hair's getting longer.

And they make it just, like, puffing. and messy constantly he's wearing bad t-shirts it looks perfect he's just missing the red bull can the monster look look grace i have to i've just met separov and he upgraded my bow and i need to go after him so we got to get back in i can't be eating any of this any of this garbage i need monster and any drink drink and no eggs oh my god it's awesome um but yeah this huge crawler scene you know he eventually does get in there and wake up and he tries to stop them and he jumps up on top

of the thing, smashes the fucking security cameras and you see Stephen Lang like, say one good goddamn minute. Well, what do you know? The third act is showing up. Now it's my time to shine. My plant has turned against me

when I knew this was going to happen. I just knew it. I'm going to kill him right now. Now that I've received that intel that in no way affects my decision, well that's the best part so they they haul him in right uh and they're like listen buddy this is you know it's fucked up this party is over etc etc and they're like but i got i just need to whatever i just need to negotiate the truce and then they should play one of his real world confessionals against him where it's just like yeah but didn't you say this three months ago and which is a scene

is is a scene we absolutely should have seen already but we haven't which is him being like they'll never resettled. They love their land. And he's like, well, there you go, everybody. Let's do it. Third Act, baby. Let's find it. Oh, so it's exactly what Sigourney Weaver's been telling us for a couple of years before this guy even showed up. Well, that's

interesting. Oh, this is actually another moment of a human and an avatar using profanity and it's weird because Mother's Milk says at one point, I think it's, no, maybe it's one of the parents is like, you

mated with this man or something like that? And Sigourney Weaver just goes, oh shit. But it's her like in cargo shorts as an avatar is saying, oh shit. Weird. It's just weird. And when they fucking take Jake Sully into custody right here, the Navi you mean?

No, the part where Lang and company walk up to them. Yeah. And they slap these like handcuffs on him. And it looks like those 90s like slap bracelets you remember they? Yeah. They look exactly like them. We're now using them for evil. First, they were just things you had fun with your

friends at the mall with, but now evil. You don't want to see what the fidget spinner's up to. Let me tell you that much. We've evolved as a species. We have slap cuffs now and we have finger cuffs as well. That's where your spinners are going. How you think the aliens are corin out the cow's

asshole fidget spinners absolutely we'll put a little teeth on them and they just bore right in fella I love because they're having another control room fight and I love Sigourney Weaver going at it

with Stephen Lang and then she goes to Giovanni Rubisi you need to muzzle your dog fucking awesome dude do not fuck with Sigourney Weaver especially in a James Cameron movie is this when he's like give me just an hour I'll

now I'll definitely do it I was supposed to do for three whole goddamn months. Yes, exactly, dude. He's got senior writers. He's doing the book report at the last second. And yeah, Rabisi's like, all right, you go one month and then we're going to get there, man, you better fucking do your diligence. And this fucking confession, I was laughing this whole thing because he's like, okay, okay.

So they're going to obliterate your entire home. And yes, I fucked you even though I lied to you. And yes, I fucked your betrothed. but like, you should listen to me. You should listen. I have a good message for you. There's nothing you can do about it. Even though this is, yes,

your suspicions of me being a demon and a false body. Okay, listen, don't get mad, but it is a false body. I mean, he's exactly a demon in a false body. I don't know what else to tell you, folks. Listen, West Studi,

all I'm going to say, me, Jake Sully, this is all new, mate, because you did the ceremony. I put the glop all over my face. You made me one of yours. Nothing you can do about it now. I'm in.

I'm in, baby. What's that thing you said about being a seer? Why didn't you see this? You see all this happened. Aren't you see her? You could kill me. I'm just going to go to Navi Heaven because you made me one, you dumb bitch. I'll see you in Navi Heaven.

And so he is trying to warn these people when the attack starts. Yes. and I paused it right here man and unfortunate news there was an hour left Oh yeah Yeah I did the same thing You just realize it's like

Oh man we are in the long haul now I thought I thought this seemed like a climax Of some sort Yeah it's the first climax It's James Cameron movie we need two Yeah this is the This is the fucking tree 11 dude This is like

Oh yeah They're they're tied up They're looking like they're about to be Sacrifice to King Kong And then like CCH pounder comes up And she's like All right if you're going to help us, then help us.

And she frees them and everything. And Michelle Rodriguez gets involved in it at one point. Michelle Rodriguez just decides not to do it. She goes, right. Yeah. She refuses to do the bombing. She's like, I never saw. I didn't sign up for this shit. Well, even though you pretty much did. I mean, you totally. You totally. Come on.

Yeah. One of those things, one of the things I would love to know, especially if you die as an avatar, if you die for real, which you don't find out to the end. I would like to know what Unobtainium does. I know it's worth a lot of money. and I know that's kind of all that matters. But it does matter is it like whether it's fuel or if it's jewelry.

Do you know what I mean? There's a huge difference. We need it to make Game Boys. There's a revival of Game Boys. People like in Game Boys these days. I mean, microchips being made for the major planet that we're a moon for and actually they use the unobtainium

to make the microchips. I would wager. I mean, I would wager just because of how direct and obvious of like an environmental message this movie is. Undemptadium is oil and we are fueling all sorts of things. But don't be chicken shit and do that. Be like, yeah, we we need, we need to, I need to drive my SUV to work and pay a dora to have motherfuck. So I need some unattainium to go in it. Spell it out. Look

how Dune did it so well. Like yes, this is a drug and it's also the how interstellar space travels possible. It matters so much what we are getting from this thing. You can't, you know what I mean? That's the thing is James Cameron is trying to world build without world building. Yes, exactly. Thank you. Yeah. And that's it's another, it's another reason why it's just when I watch this movie,

I'm like pretty colors and cool graphics with fight scenes. Listen, everybody, this is a couple of 30 years ago, we found some undobtainium and the guy made a dildo out of it. It is the best dildo anyone's ever made. And yes, we only make deal. It's a 20 million per key. Deldo, but it is worth it. And that is how

unobtainium becomes fun obtainium by making it but obtainium. And the whole like space marine angle is designed to be like, your brain will fill in the rest. We don't need to go through things. Right. That's right. And again, if it would

make, wouldn't it be amazing if in, while you're fucking blowing this tree to high hell and all these natives are crying, these native navvies are crying, there was American flags on these ships. You know what I mean? Like, wouldn't that just push it to a level where it means something or the earth flag?

Or, yeah, a flag that looks like something representing a country on Earth. That's, but like, people are already like, it's so on the nose. Can you fucking imagine if it was like that on the, like, I mean, it's pretty obvious. I think, like, all it is obvious. Yeah. But it's just

like. Yes, it's, either way it's on the nose, but you could say one ways maybe less is more toothless than the other but yeah it's just a richer story if you do that though and it's not that much of an extra lift at all sure like i i guess i understand that but like also like this this movie's anti-american bona fides are like anti-militaristic mindset or whatever is not up for question to be it's like the whole like it's like what we were doing in iraq was fucking criminal like that's we're getting right at the point where like didn't obama just get elected when this came out. Yeah, pretty much, right? Yeah, yeah. So, like, we're just

reckoning with that. Like, to me, it's, it's so fucking obvious what it's talking about. And then, like, everybody yelled at it for being obvious. And then everybody's like, well, you know what? It could be a little bit more obvious. Right. Avatar, the way of waterboarding, please. Yeah. But yeah. I do it. They might do it. It's, that's at least, I don't know. To me, I, I agree with you, Chris. Like, I know it's a rock and a hard place. Like, yeah, I would probably be yelling that I'm out of the other way. I think you're probably, you might be right about that, but at least, I don't know, like, at this point of the movie, I was feeling so little. I just kind of wanted to solidify that as an anti-American American military statement for clear and for sure, it would have

moved me a little bit. I mean, it doesn't even have to go full anti-American military or whatever, but like, I need to know what, what is, what earth is. I need to know what is, I need a context of some Are there still countries? Is it a one-world government, like Star Trek situation? I just want to know what that looks like. And again, I've been saying it the whole episode, a fucking scroll will fix it. It really will. And I won't have these questions because I read it at the beginning.

And, you know, maybe it's Jake Sully that narrated it. Maybe it's, you get Sigourney's beautiful voice to do it, whatever. You definitely need narration because I'm not reading that goddamn papyrus font the entire fucking time. Sure. yeah so the tree 11 happens all this looks really good um you know it is it it's that tree fucking falls man and a lot of people getting crushed underneath it this all i will say this about it um a lot of action going on in here a lot of uh ins and outs and what have you know as

as the dude would say i was able to follow this whole sequence oh yeah yes yes yes oh no that the action is really clear and good i will you don't mean like it's great even like you You know, the explosions. Yeah. You know, especially compared to stuff that I'm watching now. And I'm not just even going to pick on just the Marvel movies. A lot of stuff. A lot of quick cutting.

A lot of Black Adam, one of the worst movies of the year. That's not a Marvel movie. It's not. Let's go with that. You know, a lot of quick cutting, a lot of, like, unclear what, who's where? Why is it? You know every, and especially even the last fight with all the great, like, you know, the dragon is fucking throwing these helicopters around. Like, you see it, you see it, you feel it, you know what I mean?

Yes. Which is something we don't get a lot in actually. movie. So points to this movie for that. Um, so, uh, in, in this initial attack, unfortunately, the great West Studi, uh, his character eats shit and dies and, uh, Nateria's

fucking furious with Jake Sully right here, choose him out and everything when he like tries to apologize or whatever. Um, and they, uh, the, the, black water dudes start dropping them back out of the avatar bodies again. They, you push the red button at like emergency wake up

and we're watching these big blue fuckers just drop to the ground and it's kind of, it's a weird Avatar commercial break right here it is a full on quiet fade to black and then we come back from selling dish detergent and we're like back into the movie

well we're back in the movie where they're all in jail all the rebellious insert disc three yes yes oh yeah you would have like well because Titanic had two tapes you would definitely have three tapes maybe for Avatar just because of the look of the thing but like

they're in jail and I'll I'll I give it to him like I was waiting for like oh god they're gonna like they're gonna have to break like it's gonna be a setup of like where they're on now what they're doing like are they taking apart the tree no no no no Michelle Rodriguez immediately shows up is like jail break over let's go and like everybody just goes and gets back into the fucking gets their monster energy drinks gets their fucking you know their Cheetos flaming hots getting there ready to go and they're back in trying to fight for Pandora. And this is when Stephen Lange's like, you know what I'm going to do is I'm going to fuck that other tree. I fucked one big tree. I ain't done fucking trees, motherfucker. Well, I looked at that one tree that I fucked up and I was like, God damn it. I wish there was a bigger.

Look at that tree. It's bigger. Let's go fuck that tree up now. I've actually, I've been a vendetta against trees and I find out there's one bigger than a redwood. I thought a redwood was the biggest tree they had. But apparently these fucking Pandorans have these huge trees that they can talk to. all special light.

He says something that is so weird and I mean like it's actually probably one of the more interesting lines in the movie but it is so weird

I am gonna do something that is gonna go deep into their racial memory. I'm like, whoa, dude, what are we talking about? And then he fucking later like towards the end

of the movie he says to Jake Sully he's like, how do you feel being a traitor to your own race? I'm like, go-hoo!

Yeah, we're doing it. I mean, hey, we're doing it. Yeah, that's where I'm like, we're doing it. You know what I mean? Like, yes. I agree.

You know, I just see four minutes ago and I didn't think we were doing it, but there we're doing it. So Trudy breaks them out, which I get it. It's economical. We're getting back into it. But it's so quick that I was like, why even bother? Like bringing them to another place just to have a very quick and unexciting jail break. But whatever, we steal a chopper. I love this.

Stephen Lang is so fucking furious. He tells, like, the whole thing, I don't know if we mentioned this, but on Pandora, humans can't breathe so you have to have oxygen masks on. And he opens the fucking, like, command room door to go out and fire at this helicopter. And he yells back to the office like, hey, masks on and just opens this door while holding his breath wildly firing his gun. Pretty hilarious. I think even, like, kicks that door open. It's pretty dramatic. Yes, it is a kick.

You're right. And he just, he actually, at this point, he, he shoots, uh, security. Sigourney Weaver. Oops. This is going to ruin my whole day. Great line from her. This is where I, this whole fucking, the rebirthing scene, this is, you could lift this whole fucking thing out. It looks cool and all that. But like, I, I, I, I really love how most this looks. Nothing looks worse than the quasi-naked Sigourney Weaver being carted through, like, the land of light to the tree of rebirth. Yeah. Like, this looks so bad. I was like I could we stop this

and why is she fucking your point is she's nearly nude why she dressed like fucking poison ivy I don't know I think it's because you know you don't want to show if she was naked you would see something also you know and this whole sequence also reminded me of another movie

ready player one where I know I know that came after but it's like you're moving this trailer so that we can go into the game world in it and there's now the real world obstacles are hurting the whole

Oh yeah, okay it took me a second to remember the part of the movie you were talking about but yeah, all right, yeah, I mean that this is obviously

sets up what's going to happen at the end of the movie which when you see this, you're like, okay, I know at the end of the movie. Right, it's like you've got to see

that this process can fail so that like at the end of the movie you're like, oh boy, is the main character going to make it? But to your guy's point, like at this point, they've been fudging so much

and just like, uh, being like, oh, you get it. right for so many things like I'm just like at the end like oh yeah you take him to this tree and he can

connect it's fine yeah I'm actually fine with that like I I'm not at this point I'm not expecting an explanation about this shit because it's just so like overwhelming how else you're going to see the Navi opening ceremonies I suppose that's true I suppose that I didn't think about that one

and this is when like they're like hey man fuck fuck you because you fucked up our whole civilization you killed my dad etc etc etc And he's like, well, what if I had a big red dragon? What's that doing anything for? I mean, like, it is such an easy out. Like, he is, he has destroyed their civilization,

destroyed their home, killed his beloved's father. And he's like, red dragon can't get mad. And it's like, I guess so, dude. Didn't you tell me something, something the chosen one would ride the red dragon? Well, here I am, baby. That's like, that's like a famous, like a piece of shit logic. he's like, well, if I just do that, she'll forgive me. Because all I got to do is fucking train the red dragon and I'm out of it, baby.

I got it. And then he does it. Of course, we don't even fucking get to see it. But number one problem with this is I don't fucking get to see what would be a cool scene, him trying to get this fucking dragon. Well, he jumps on its back and that's interesting enough. Sure. But then we cut away.

Yeah. Because it's, there's a whole, you know, I, I like a bunch of stuff about this movie. And like, just like him exploring the world at one point. being like, you know, oh, I became a great hunter on Dragonback, you know, whatever back, and death from above, this, then the other thing. But, oh, there's also other predators. So we established this fucking thing. And then later on, he's like, well, it's the biggest thing and it doesn't expect

anyone to attack it when he jumps down onto it. So I thought it was a it's a cool little logic threat that he has. Exactly. Exactly. I just wish it was more succinct. Yeah. So Sigourney eats shit and Jake Sully gives us rousing speech where like fucking Kevin Costner and Yellowstone this motherfucker yells the line

this is our land which I thought was pretty funny and I'm running for governor or whatever Wes Bentley's doing or whatever the fuck's happening on that show it's about right getting a little closet

to the governor's mansion that's right so they go around they like fly around the moon for a little while getting like other clans involved so we get like the actual like

ground horse people and the sea people which I guess maybe more in a way of water we'll be seeing those folks or whatever and then like so we're doing that recruitment process and Stephen Lang's like giving his own speech and this is some real like we will fight terror

with terror and this is Steve where he says blast a crater in their racial memory so deep they'll never come back there's also this weird line where like he says something about an aboriginal horde and like more pouring in every day and I'm like

there's the border talk oh because he's yeah you're totally right because he's talking about in the last two days they've like doubled their manpower to this you know by this point they'll have enough people to overrun our facility look at them all climbing over the wall there's a navvy caravan coming in okay is it November then it is definitely on its way people are like

have a special flag for the anti-navi unit like it's got a blue but a special blue line oh speaking of special blue lines when at the end of this when Navi cocaine that'd be cool right

but Michelle Rodriguez's Trudy character paints blue on her gunship so that it's on the Navi side I didn't notice that the first time and then she's all paid she's also got war paint on her too yeah she's gone crazy, which is great. For four

more minutes before she's dead. But yeah, this is when they get all the tribes from all over. And I mean, like, yeah, I guess we'll find out the next couple of movies. When this big battle sequence happens here at the end, the arrows actually work against things and they didn't at the tree fight. Yeah. Yeah, well, maybe they're better arrows, dude.

They have to get it from the horse people and the sea people. He does do a prayer to Iwa or whatever and he's like, listen, this is what these people do. They're not going to just stop at this tree. they're going to destroy your whole world they're going to build a Starbucks made it's going to be gross

what do you think they're going to build new apartment buildings in the trees and you're not going to be able to afford to rent them they're going to that's the that's one of the things he has and one of his little confessionals he's just like they don't want they're not going to do it

for light beer and blue jeans oh yes which is a good line yes I like that um there I think it's the the doctor Patel there is trying to communicate like oh I just heard him giving this speech

blah blah blah he goes some sort of he's talking about some sort of shock and awe and I was like yep uh huh yep yep and so it's the big fight right yeah the big battle it starts with Stephen Lang

I'm sorry Steve but the funniest the fun in a sea of funny weird lines that Stephen Lang has in this movie when he gets on the calm to like register like get everybody organized for the big invasion he goes this is Papa Dragon oh yeah dude here comes Papa Dragon here comes Papa Dragon baby I saw that they think they have dragons that's

you know they think you had I'm a dragon how about that shit I'm a dragon now I'm a grand dragon I'm a Papa Dragon do you see do you see yes exactly he gets he gets to take it back at that fucking Tom Newton Tom Newton should be at the at the floor on the bottom Tom Noon and the Navi All he did just paint that fucker blue He's already 10 feet tall Yeah totally

You don't need any of that fucking computer shit Jim Cameron Well you know just give him the ponytail maybe Yeah Could be an elder But yeah I mean you know whatever This is it's a big Ridiculous action scene that you can follow Every bit of it

It's 25 minutes long And it's good Like there's some great moments here Even when the mother's milk fella dies Like him jumping onto that ship and just grabbing dudes and tossing them off. Yep. I was talking to see him throw people.

I was like, yes, throw them. But then he's immediately assassinated, which is unfortunate. He did. And what do you call it there? What's her face?

Natiri falls down to earth. And she joins the sort of the horse campaign against the mech suits. Well, her dragons gets shot down and there's a nice little goodbye to the dragon. But then, yeah, come to the rescue.

She's about to die. She's about to give it all. And then, of course, Elway provides. Yes. I do like seeing, like, the infantry lines, you know, the ground and air battle, you know, going back and forth the two. And then, yes, of course, when these hammerhead dinosaurs start attacking these infantry units, it's great.

Yeah. Awah has heard you. I love that this movie has something in common with the end. of Ace Ventura, too. You guys remember that? When Jim Carrey calls all the animals and he's like, friends, quadrupeds, lend me your ears. I forgot that.

I just remembered guano. A source of nitrate. Unobtanium, a source of nitrate. Also another, you know, dicey confl. Oh, it's about as dicey as it gets in that movie. But yeah, a lot of funny stuff here. there is a good before she is totally bursting into flames

Michelle Rodriguez like fires on Stephen Lang and he's like, what in the fuck? And it's a great oops. Yeah. She's good, man. I think she's a lot of fun. I love her. I guess she love and that's the thing. I'm not even, that's not even a slight she loves to be the fifth bill in a big movie and that's great.

It's a great career. I also love the dude who, so they're, they're readying these two huge pallets of explosives and the ship sort of bucks at one point and the one pallet that they're about to drop falls backwards and

that motherfucker gets crushed between two of them. Oh, that's great. Oh, what a death. Poor Davy. Poor Davy got crushed between the fucking pads. Yeah, the big explosion and then this is when Jake finds the Papa Dragon and he

kind of blows it up and like they go down to hell together a little bit. Right. Oh yeah. He definitely does. He blows it up by gingerly tossing grenades like Dove Lundgren and Universal Soldier. Yeah, but then Lange has a great idea of jumping into this mex suit as this aircraft is going down. And now we can get our big final battle on the floor of the forest here. And it's a, it's a rad

situation when you think about it for a sec. Like, you know, he has lost his ship and, you know, all of his dudes or whatever. And his only resort is to be a, and basically like his militaristic version of the avatar suit, right? So it's like two avatars basically fighting each other. Very true, the mech suit. And I also like how the mex suit functions where it's like, it's like being a person, like you whip out a gun or you whip out a gigantic knife

that must be like six feet tall, which is awesome. A robot with a knife, you're always going to win. I've always like, you know what, dude? I was like two and a half stars. Oh, no, three stars. That robot has a knife. Okay, got it. That's cool.

That's cool. That's like super anime villain to me. Oh yeah. Super big knife like that. Well, that was always on every episode of Battlebots, dude. When you saw the one that had like a saw on it or something, you knew that guy was winning. That's right.

We're going to stop the Navi. I'm got a big knife on my big neck suit. That's right. I'm going to get him really bad. Watch me do it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so it's a good fight or whatever. And then, you know, just when it looks like, oh, this is when he has the,

It's actually, I think, the character's last lines alive. He's like, hey, Sully, how's it feel to betray your own race? And Matiri just fucking launches these arrows into this dude's heart. It's pretty good, yeah. And they're big arrows, too, because they're big people. I really appreciate how big they are. It's so good. It's like this guy comically getting hit with three javelins in the chest.

It's great. This is our giant woman moment, too. Yeah, because he breaks it to Jake's little pod there. actual Jake Sully's pod. Right, he was trying to wake him up, you know, and end the whole avatar simulation. But he can't breathe, so the big mama's got to pick him up.

Ooh, baby. Hold him like a little baby. Oh, yeah. It's kind of like, oh yeah. Mama going to take care of you. Make sure you breathe at night. It's kind of like two fetishes at the same time.

When it starts, he's choking. And I'm like, Oh, shit, little autoerotic expaciation here. Jake should also be wearing a diaper living in this fucking... Yes! Oh, yeah. Well, I had that question. I mean, the movie's almost over with here.

I don't want to derail us too much, but there is the moment where he goes to sleep after the graduation night's sex and he wakes up and I was like, is he having a wet dream in that thing? Yep. Like, did he just wake up like, oh, cranky, it came in my pants.

Definitely. I think there's definitely got to be like a suction situation. Oh, yeah. the tube comes down and like sucks up the come off of you or I mean there's all I mean we didn't even bring it up Eric but like the piss and shit have to go somewhere that's that's the thing all the sweat a tube right up the ass a tube I think surrounding your whole cock and balls do you think it's like a when you like he's like a Navi he's like oh but ride these dragons all day let me just to run around just go behind this tree take a leak and it's like when you start to pee in a dream oh fuck wake go wake up oh man I've been there

shit, no, no, no, this is not, this is, I am not an ambassador of McDonald's with my grandfather, he's been dead for 20 years. Let's get out of here. This isn't real. This isn't real. So, yeah. Too late. Yeah, so whatever. The little epilogue here is

Jake Sully is doing his final video log and he tells us that all these people, all the humans are getting kicked off of Pandora except for Max and Norm. And he's like, this is my final log entry. There's a party for me tonight. And I can't be late.

It's my birthday after all. No more unobtidium for their little bracelets. We're done with it. Sorry, you're going to have to find some other way to tell the world that your son's the best Little League pitcher in the town. Pandora bracelets. Yes, yeah. It's his birthday. Yeah.

It's kind of cool. I wish, I mean, it's been enough movie. I wish there's a little more danger of just like, I might die tonight, you know what I mean? Like, that could be something. Yeah, yeah. Well, I think it's a thing where he has, he does have some, it would have been better, Steve, you're right,

if the stakes were better. But he has some line where it's like, whether or not this whack ado, soul transfer permanently works or not, I get to stay on Pandora one way or another. So he's either going to be Jake Sully or, you know, human being or Jake Sully. Big blue badass, yeah.

Yeah. That's the thing. Triple B. He should have taken maybe, you know, because like Sigourney Weaver's character like dying and not the soul transference not really working or whatever. Like if he was more bodily injured for this soul transference, like he maybe took a six foot knife in the gutter or something.

Yeah, yeah. It would be like maybe he won't survive it, you know? Because that's the thing that CCH Pounder says why it didn't work for Sigourney's characters is because she was too beat up from the gunshot. So now it's just like, yeah, this is going to work and that's going to be fine. You're in the perfect health to do this science experiment. And credits are coming. Come on.

Don't worry about it. And then, yeah, just the last shot of the movie is his eyes wake up in the body and Avatar, directed by Jim Cameron. I appreciate the directed by Jim Cameron and a lot of these initial credits here at the end. Definite traditional Jim Cameron credit font. I'm pretty sure it's the same font from True Lies.

And you got Celine back, baby. Oh, yeah. What? Celine Dion does the song at the end of the movie, my friend. It's terrible. It's horrific. A lot of the music in this, I feel like, is just wishy-washy. Oh, man.

Just put in Prague rock, dude, get some yes or Asia and just fucking blasted. And honestly, this would have gone off a whole star rating. I'm absolutely with you on that era because there are times when the like Paul Simon's Graceland outtakes that like, pepper throughout this, like the little chance and everything. I'm just like, this is too much. Yes. Can I just, can I, I've gone too far?

I got to throw something in here because I've become a big fan of ever since the iPhone let you put a Shazam shortcut, I've been using it a lot to find end songs. This is not Salina. Oh, it is not? Oh, I'm sorry. No, it's a British singer by the name of Leona Lewis.

Oh, okay. Singing the song, I see you parentheses, theme from Avatar. It does. worse. It is kind of funny though. Sorry for being wrong. It is funny. It is very 90s-esque to have this big old pop song. Yes. Taylor's oldest time to go over your credits. You know what I mean? Do you think they were like, hey, Jim, you haven't had a narrative motion picture since 1997. We don't do that. Exactly. Exactly. He's bringing it back. Did you see like the weekend has songs on this fucking. Oh boy. Avatar movie, which is a bad idea. I really don't think. It's a terrible idea, I think. Okay. I don't know. I guess

we're just going to have to see in a few short days from when this episode drops because we will be waste deep in the way of water at the theater, for sure. Oh, yeah. But that is Avatar folks. Recommendations and final thoughts. Chris Cabin will start with you. Yeah, I like this movie.

A borderline, you know, I say in chat, I love about 75 to 80% of what's going on here. And that, but the 25% is really tough. Uh, I don't think dances with wolves is necessarily a good, uh, uh, a thing to compare it to because the fucking, I don't know if I think that's one of those things where people are just like, oh, broadly that works, right? Fuck what actually happens in the movie. Yeah. And like, it's just so different. Uh, and I, I give more credit Cameron. It's, it's essentially a better remake of dances with wolves if you want to say

anything about it. Yeah, not a lot of mech suits in. No. No, there are not any. The problem, really. Big issue, I got to say. Less coyotes, more of those. I, you know, I said a lot about, like, I don't really believe in him being, like, him, like, trying to tighten things.

Because he, I, I, none of this is tight. Like, not even T2 is really tight. Like, Terminator is really the only one. It's tight, but that's just the thing. It's like, I guess he got, like, the bloat certainly got worse as True Lise and Titanic went by. But, like, I come to know that he's going to waste my time. Like, that's just the thing.

It's a big blockbuster movie. Of course, it's going to waste my time. Not every fucking moment is going to hit me. So, like, I kind of give that to him. He's not going to be, he's going to be a guy of excess. And this as a work of excess, I like. I think it's a very good one. Eric Sisko.

Yeah, no, I applaud the effort. I like a good amount of what this is. I said earlier that, like, I feel like he's trying to world build without actually putting in the work of world building. and it would have been nicer to be more lived in in these moments. But that said, the action sequences are fantastic. There's good stuff here. There's bad, you know, the, it's got a complicated legacy, I would say, that is not

necessarily good or bad. I like James Cameron, more or less, but sometimes less is more. That's my review. Steve? Yeah, I mean, yeah, just because it's on the HV doesn't mean it's a hate movie. Like, I don't hate this movie. it's just it's a it's okay you know honestly like I was I kind of felt the same way when I watched the first time I just my second time through like I'm not bold away by this concept and not bold away by the world some of the actions really exciting a lot of the character building is really not so good and just you know it's just James Cameron like if I think I say this is the true lives episode I'll say it again if he had a second writer just some guy that wrote or guy or woman or whomever that help him him like craft the story like here's your big ideas and you're going to change the world with

your big ideas great let's make a movie right on the page first then we'll make a then you can do all the shit with the cameras and that's what i just wish he was able to do but he's not able to do it and you know i'm not going to jack off for box office numbers folks i'm just not going to do it i don't care i mean like great that's cool for making the disney corporation more money than they already have i just can't i can't get up for that shit i don't care well you'll be pleased to know, Steve, that this sequel that is coming out in a few days or whatever is

the team of writers on it are the people that did, it's also Cameron, but Rise of the Planet of the Apes, those movies. They actually also did Jurassic World and Moulon and the hand that rocks the cradle in the 90s. I like that. So say.

Maybe. Yeah. It's going to be interesting to see him working with those other writers. There's also other additional writers with story credits. So get ready for like five, seven writers on the opening of Avatar. Maybe seven might be too many. Maybe they heard by please too much. I think it's five.

Apologies. Five, got it. Yeah, you know, I had not revisited this movie since the year 2009, where I saw twice, once was, yeah, the Blizzard mission and then once was through an old work event. I don't think this movie's life-changing by any stretch of the imagination. I think very few movies, indeed, are life-changing, as a matter of fact. It's this pure spectacle, and it's, you know, boring to me to watch on a TV. And I also have to say, I wish I could have invested the money in a 4K disc to watch on my own,

because I'm watching this on Disney Plus. It's the week before, you know, the movie's going to come out. Every motherfucker is watching it, you know, on Disney Plus. the stream was terrible it was absolutely fucking terrible and it's like you know Jim Cameron you so love technology man why don't you let me use my home

technology to watch your movies appropriately because that way was a bullshit two hours and 46 minutes this is streaming on Cameron plus the new streaming site that James Cameron owns and operates oh man so yeah I don't know whatever but the thing is we're all

fucking gonna check out wave water and we'll report on that in some fashion or another but that is going to do it for this episode on Avatar if you want more we hate movies including a discussion about another Jim Cameron film head over to patreon.com slash we hate movies. We are talking all about true lies on the WLM

offering this month. What else is going on? What are we doing? We got something for the holidays on once in a lifetime Chris Cabin? Oh yeah we got something called a Christmas Prince which is a nothing movie that apparently everybody loves. It's a movie people love it's a Netflix movie that we are covering on the once in a lifetime

tier, the top tier of our Patreon. I'm very excited for this to drop because I think there was a really fun episode. It was. Do we know who we're doing on the Glee Blastery? We do. We, you know, last month we did Chewbacca, major get major character to thought. We dip down. Do something smaller this run. We'll do a prequel character, Zam Weasel, yes.

Shapeshifting Assesson. the pendulum flies mightily to the other direction we're going to be doing having some holiday fun on animation damnation as we review a Netflix original elf on the shelf cartoon this is this is this might get the gun in my mouth and the trigger pulled I think you know as close as you came with Lil Ellen Eric I think this one might do it yep this one might do it so all of that and more over on patreon.com slash we at movies including I thought of another one here

towards the end of the month around around them holidays we're going to be releasing our final commentary of the year and you guessed it Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets in my opinion the worst Harry Potter movie that is going to be fun as fuck another

sinkable commentary coming out on Patreon.com slash we eight movies now December's just getting going here we had a live episode last week. This week we're avataring it up. And next week, we're continuing with in-studio episodes. Steve, what are we talking about? Oh, it's the

holiday season. It's the Christmas with the cranks. Oh. This will be my first and only time watching. Wow. Lucky you. I saw it once before. Man, it's going to be an H on the feed in a big, bad way next week. I can't wait. Oh, yeah. Chris, I think you

and I saw this together when it came out at Thanksgiving. I've been trying to block that one out, but yes, Jimmy Allen will be in attendance. Jamie Lee Curtis, of course, something, something. Oh, they're going to, the plot is they are going to go on a tropical vacation for Christmas, even though they always do a big to-do because the daughter's not coming home from college, and then guess what? Dropping in.

It's a poppin. It's a movie about a holiday popping, if you can even believe it. The worst poppin that's ever happened. Kramer be damned. So until next week, when we celebrate Christmas with the cranks, I'm Andrew Juppin. Stephen Zaid actor. Eric Siska. Chris Cabin.

Take it easy.