We Hate Movies - S13 Ep650: Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (with Chelsea Jupin)

Episode Date: December 27, 2022

On our final episode of 2022, the gang welcomes Chelsea Jupin back to the show to chat about the beloved, Christmas cookie-cutter sequel, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York! How successful of an arms dealer must Uncle Rob McCallister be to afford this Upper West Side townhouse? Would it have been a better movie if the hotel staff entirely replaced the Sticky Bandits? Why couldn’t they mix up the story a little bit so it’s not just a carbon copy of part one set in NYC? And what’s with that Uncle Frank crotch comment? PLUS: Snooty UWS residents band together Spider-Man-style to fight the holiday evil that is Kevin McCallister! Home Alone 2: Lost in New York stars Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, Catherine O’Hara, John Heard, Kieran Culkin, Tim Curry, Brenda Fricker, Eddie Bracken, Dana Ivey, Sweet Robbie Schneider, and Gerry Bamman as Uncle Frank; directed by Chris Columbus.  Check out the WHM Merch Store featuring new SW Crispy Critters, MINGO!, WHAT IF Donna? & Mortal Kombat designs! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/whm and get on your way to being your best self. Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

this week on the program trash your uncle's brownstone and clean that bird shit off your shoulder because on this episode we're talking about home alone to lost in new york i'm andrew jupin stephen shaddak you got it eric ciska too chris cabin up there to the left chelsea jupin and we hate movies Hello, everyone, welcome to the program. are tuning in, as always. That's right. On this episode, we are talking Chris Columbus's 1992 sequel, Home Alone 2, Lost in New York, and here to talk about it with us, back to the program, my beautiful wife, Chelsea, who is, I think, Home Alone 2's biggest fan. How damn it is. Damning praise. That's the meanest thing anyone has ever said about me. Coming up next week, divorce.

No, I don't know. I don't know. I don't. disagree that this movie is garbage but I love this movie. I was not to deal with a friend of mine last night and I was just like oh blah blah talking about home alone too and I was like yeah we're about doing it on the show he's like for a we love movies right? And I was like he gave me this look like

fuck you dude it's like oh wow I kind of understand that I think it has a Ghostbusters 2 type thing where like yeah definitely because it just came out so quickly after the first one and capitalized on all of it like so quickly that you're just like, yeah, this one's also good

even though when you look back and you're like, wait, what the fuck is happening? What, excuse me? I mean, it's okay to like a movie. This is totally a fine movie to like. It's actually better than a lot of holiday movies. Sure, sure. It definitely has stuff going for it,

but it is just a rehash of the first movie in a new location and you add a bird lady. And an old man Duncan. Oh, don't get me started on old man. You double up on the old. people, that's a, that's, that's, that's a no, thank you. This is not, we don't need double doses. Well, but you double up on a lot of the, you doubled up on that and you also double up on torture houses because you get a little bit at Duncan's toy chest and also

the Brownstone. And also a little bit in Central Park as well, you get, you almost get three. He should have been trapping them all across the island, you know what I mean? Just like going from neighbor to name. Maybe there's some wild scene with like Daniel Stern's pissing on the third rail of a subway line or something. That'd be great. I wholeheartedly would support that. I just think because that's the thing. Scope would be nice here, but they have to hit all the same notes so they don't do much in scope. The electricity would go

up his P-stream and he turned to a skeleton and you'd still see his beard and everything. It'd be amazing. That's classy. I got to say when you see a skeleton when somebody's getting electrocued, that's a class act move right there. I love it. It's a full blanca. I appreciate it.

You want to go full blanca when you can. There's a way in which this movie in which Harry and Marv do not show up and it's just Tim Curry and Rob Schneider fucking with this kid

in the hotel and it's kind of almost a better movie you know what I mean It makes more sense It does Yeah I don't know if I want to see

that movie Yeah that's actually kind of true I mean So Stephen you're in your alternative here Is he still fucking with him Like is he setting traps

all over the park The hotel The hotel I guess so There would have to be You'd have to set some traps because that's what you're paying for.

I mean, because, like, the idea of, like, these comedic befuddlings about trying to get this kid out of a hotel or if Harry and Marv decide to raid the hotel, you know what I mean, for some reason. Oh, yeah. And now it's, this is my hotel. I have to defend it. You know, something like that. Yeah.

Thanks. He's the little king of that place. If we're doing that, though, we're getting a lot more of the unfortunate cameo. And. That's true. Any more of the unfortunate cameo. How many days do you want a film in my hotel? That's a good point.

Because we should say that's why he's in this movie. It's, I don't know how well known of a thing this is, but back in the day when people in this town fucking catered to this dude, you know, outside of Staten Island, there was a thing where if you wanted to film anything, Law & Order, you know, movies like this, whatever, in a property that he owned,

one of the deals was you had to shoot a cameo with him. Right. And apparently most of the time, like with Law & Order and those things, the cameo would be cut. And he had no problem with that because he wasn't watching anything because he's culturally... That's why he called himself the Law & Order candidate.

Yeah, I think exactly. I've been cut out of more Law & Order episodes. I'm the Dick... I'm the Dick Wolf candidate. I mean, so for whatever reason, they left it in for this movie because it was the early 90s and we still quote unquote loved down the hall into the left more like fucking back into the left if you please

oh oh ah the parody but not really um the thing with him is like i kind of think home alone was too big for him not to be like i bet you he really pressed them he stopped he wouldn't stop calling them to make sure he stayed in this because this was the biggest fucking the first movie was such a big thing and this movie made so much money and you kind did you want to be able to say that you told McCullough Culkin where to go? I bet he did watch this. Maybe he stopped after his

scene, but he at least watched up to then. Well, you know the kids watch it because Don Jr. was fucking bitching about like the cameo getting cut out and someone was like oh, that's for television broadcast and your father's actually been cut out of the movie for like fucking 25 years or

whatever. And he thought it was like something to do with like the presidency or whatever. Because he is the dumbest coached. If you were to write like a little children's book about Don Jr., it would be called the dumbest coquette. Dumbest Cokehead at Christmas. Oh, yeah. Of course, there's the snow. When the Cokehead brings the snow. Yeah, but you guys are right.

This is, I was saying it's like an ad, uh, Madlib's, uh, screenplay of the first movie. But this is kind of like sex in the city almost, which is not something I thought I would say. And that it's, it really, its strength is that another character is the city of New York, baby. Yes. Which is also why Trump, I think, also argued to be in it, too.

Like, I'm a fixture of New York. I'm up there with the buildings. Exactly. If I'm not in it, they're not going to know where they are. If anyone's going to tell this little shithead where the lobby is, it's going to be me. Just go up there, go to the suite, and go into the elevator, like, cut the brakes.

Let the thing fall. Hey, hey, Kevin, while on your way in, did you see them celebrating in Jersey City? Did you see them

celebrating in Jersey City? They set some traps for us, didn't they? If anything, his cameo should have been, like later in the film when he's kicked out of the hotel and he runs a foul

of a bunch of New York City nightmare people. Yes. That's when Trump, oh, yeah, when it's just like the prostit, you want a bedtime story? He wants to split a diet Coke.

Yeah. You want a cold Cheeseburger from McDonald's? I love that part because it's fucking on the Upper West Side and like I know it was the early 90s but come on.

I also love that like you know sex workers are taunting children in the street? Yeah. Are they trying to make a sale? It's not just that

but like when he gets into the taxi at that point the cabby's just like it's scary in here too look at my weird face. Welcome to Goblin Land USA. What is better to do?

on Christmas Eve, then scare strange children who you don't know. I get it. It makes all sorts of sense to me. Oh, a little kid gets in my cab on Christmas Eve. I don't have a fucking field day with that monster. Oh, yeah. Terrorize them. That part of the movie is written by fucking Tom Waits. I don't understand what part of New York that's supposed to be.

And the little girl got in the car. And I said, ain't much better in here, kid. That's awesome. That guy looks like he's got a fucking, like. like zombie virus or something to his face is all fucked up. I like the opening. I like the opening cartoon.

Always love an opening car. I mean, it's not a cartoon, but it's just this kind of the little, the skyline to the house. But it sets up something that doesn't happen,

which is the house moves to New York. I would love the house moves to New York. Have it like the up. Yeah, like that'd be nice. Like the movie up. Or honestly, that would be a better

for the plaza type thing. Like if that was the movie that it was in the plaza, this would make more sense. but like he's the house I guess he's yes home is where you hang your hat

Chris I think it's oh I see the place where you scam your way into yeah home is where you fraudulently use a credit card to sleep home is wherever you kill burglars

exactly it should be New York colon lost home alone mm yes he's not home alone at all right I wouldn't have confused anyone back in the time

let me get a ticket for What the hell is it called again? It's called New York colon. One for New York colon, please? We lost home alone. It actually makes more sense. It takes forever to say, but it makes more sense. It's logical this way.

I love that this movie takes place a year after the first movie, and already this family's like, yeah, we'll go on vacation again together. I would never want to see anyone involved. in the previous Christmas after the events of the first movie. Not only are they about to go on vacation again around the holidays. They are fucking, it's a year out from this kid being fucking left alone for this whole thing and having to fend off these robbers who are front page news, by the way, according to a newspaper that flies across the fucking USA Today, I believe.

So let's use newspaper lightly. Front page news. The family never knows about this, right? As far as they're concerned, he, like, hung out at home for a few days and he broke the bookcases. Sure, but, like, they have to know by now. Like, it's too much. It's too much of a big case, right? Like, I guess, like, they hide it all.

Yeah, he probably would have been called to testify. That's right. That's an opening I want. Yeah, all right. I just don't buy it all. These burglars were screaming your son's name at their trial. Kevin McAllister Oh, that was just a delusion actually

There was ghosts they were seeing What is the penalty For putting a child's hand in your mouth They're going to eat all of his fingers Is that a salt? Is that what definitely needs to be put on Harry on this one too? It's a sex crime

It's for sure You're definitely going to have to check All your little fingers You're definitely Definitely got to check with multiple agencies when you move anywhere Is what I'm going to say if you're not you're not getting on a fucking plane to florida i'll tell you that much you heaven's got

a little fucking ankle bracelet or something on him but like even more than that these fucking parents are acting like nothing the whole family is acting like nothing fucking happens they all buried it deep down in the fucking well there's so many kids yeah they're like 50 kids it's christmas time we have to take these 50 kids on a lavish fucking expensive vacation we do it every christmas we dump 30 grand out the window. Nobody's asking, hey, how are you doing a year after your Joe Pesci almost ate your hand?

Nobody's asking, hey, how much you were almost fucking hung from a door? Like, what the fuck? Act like, when Cather O'Hara goes up to the room, it's like, are you sorry for what you did? I am surprised McCoy Culk to say, fuck you, lady. Get the fuck out of here.

At the end of this movie, you know, Mr. McAllister has the balls to be like, you spent $967 on room service. I'd be like, dude, you know what? I could be in three fucking garbage bags of the Lower East Side. So let's just relax. You're lucky McAllister.

You're lucky McAuster. You got fucking lucky there, Pete. You got really fucking lucky. Oh, 967. How much would my fucking funeral cost, asshole? How much would that cost? You know, or worse yet, there's a fucking, you know, warehouse in South Brooklyn where this kid's, you know.

Oh, boy. The beginning of a Liam Neeson movie. Yeah. Oh my God. And also to Chris's point, this kid's going to be fucked over. He's probably started torturing animals in between these films. 100%. There's no way you emerge from this unscathed.

No way. After this movie, you need to separate as a fan. This needs to stop. I don't care how many fucking presents Duncan fucking shelled out. You got to fucking split this up. This is too much for you to handle. Clearly, Pete. Well, I was looking at the Wikipedia's,

summary of whichever one it is that's within the canon of the sequels. So like home a loner or home alonans, whatever the one that came out last year, the new owner. No, no, it's like the fourth one. Oh, yes, yes. With French Stewart. And it does begin with, so they've divorced.

Really? That sounds about right. Yeah. Kate McAllister out on the fucking market, huh? Well, it's Peter's story, so. Oh, man. Wait, John Hurd not returning. I'm sure not. Because It wasn't, it wasn't Macaulay Culkin.

But French, yeah, that's true. But French Stewart plays Kevin McAllister. No. No? He plays one of the... I'm sorry, I'm sorry. No, he plays Marv. Right.

Yes. Not Kevin McAllister. But the kid in the movie is also playing Kevin McAllis. Yes. Which is very strange. And he's younger, right? Which is even weirder. That's weird.

Yeah, he's got fucking... Is that Brad Pitt movie? Benjamin Button. Yeah. He's Benjamin Buttoning. Well, the weird thing is like, you know, this movie came out in 92. The last one came out in 90. actually, but they keep saying

last year, last year, last year, the better move is to be like, yes, this is 1992, even though you're obviously filming in 91, you say, hey, remember last year we did nothing and it was the most boring Christmas ever? Let's spice it up by going to Florida. You know what I mean? Like, we pay, like, I want to know

these people paid some kind of a penance Christmas wise. And no, I totally agree with you, Stephen. This is why it's weird and we should look up if Chris Columbus had, or John Hughes rather, had he written any sequels? Because like, I think this might have been the first sequel that he wrote. And, you know, none of that news story is there because we're just

doing beat for beat. Yes. The first movie, like, including this night before everyone's getting together at this house again. First of all, fuck you, Uncle Frank. Get a hotel, you piece of shit. He had written a sequel before National Ampoon's European Vacation. And he did fantastic with that one, didn't he? He just not thought we're right out of the park. People hate that one? I kind of like that one. It's fine.

But it's exactly the same thing where it's just like, hey, let's just change little parts of the fucking calculus and they'll be the same thing essentially. I guess that is true. I mean, he also wrote the other sequel, Christmas vacation, of course. Which is much more successful in every possible way that I can imagine. They didn't get him back for that Vegas vacation, did he? That's got to be based on characters only. It doesn't look like. It's a fucking stay tuned in a half.

But so yeah, we do get this great Uncle Frank moment where he's in the shower. Oh, yeah. They're like, you know, first of all, fucking, I mean, on top of everything else, Peter McAllister knocks into the goddamn wall and unplugs the alarm clock. You're still doing this rookie shit a year later? It's not even a knock, man. He fucking unpluggs it to get some fucking thing off of it and then plugs it back in. I think he's just probably sleeping there with the 12 o'clock flashing in his face.

You would think you would have noticed it. You would think. Well, yeah, but Chelsea, what you were forgetting is that Peter McAllister never went to sleep sober in his life. That's fair. That's fair. If I had that many kids, neither would I. Exactly. One thing I have in common with Peter McAllister.

I love Uncle Frank getting walked in. This movie I find is infinitely re-quotable and, oh, you're quote. is one that I use a lot. I actually just, Chelsea can attest to this, I just understood a joke that I never got before. When McCallie Colkin is like,

Uncle Frank said that if I saw him in the shower, that I'd never feel like a real man. And only today that I realize Uncle Frank is like, yeah, I got a huge fucking dick, Kevin. Don't look at it. You'll feel inferior to me. That's awesome. That's great to tell you to a nephew.

That's a really good thing to be. Totally. Thanks a lot, Uncle Frank. Hey, buddy, you know, I know you were abandoned last Christmas, so here's a president early on. My dick will ruin your life. If you look at it, my dick will ruin your fucking life. You understand that kid, child? That's the thing, because you now have to go through the rest,

as his parents, you have to go to the rest of your lives being like 75% sure nothing ever happened to this kid. You know what I mean? Because their Christmas is a big old question mark. Oh, absolutely. What the fuck was Hansy old man Marley getting up to you? Exactly. Who knows?

who knows also that's how you start this movie by the way is old man marley's funeral it's like December 19th old man marley's funeral hilarious a real real peppy start yeah like a 15 shovel salute oh you know it's like I don't know maybe like all the McAllis the kid well the the older ones are like a pallbearers you know and like buzz makes some like fart noise to Kevin in the church and he pushes him and they drop The coffin. The fucking body falls out. It would make...

It would make more sense for Frank and Leslie and their kids to come back for a funeral than just like to come a day early to come and see this... This what? This random school concert?

Like, as an aunt... I mean, I love my nieces and nephews and of course, if I'm actually invited, I will love it, but... No, no, no. If we're invited, we'll go. We just won't leave a review. Meet them in Florida.

Yeah, exactly. Florida. Well, that's the other thing, though, fucking Uncle Frank definitely lets it slip right here that John Hurd is paying for this entire vacation. Of course he is. So John Hurd, this is where you have to be like, nah, Frank, here's you and your fucking

family's plane tickets. Yes. We will see you in Miami, buddy. We just rewatched the first one as well in preparation for this. And they do mention in the first one that the other family lives in Ohio. So they're not even local. You're going all, you're driving all the way from Ohio.

to Chicago and then flying on your brother's dime like yeah like oh hair to Miami yeah I would if I'm John Hurd I'm drafting up some good some good contracts here and number one on that you will not talk about your cock to my son

at any point in this that is the number one with a bullet I will cancel the fucking ticket if he talks about your balls once and I will swear to God Frank Chris alright Frank Kevin mentioned something about you talking about your huge dick one We all know you have a huge dick, Frank.

Remember the fucking 1987 July 4th barbecue he had? Your bathing suit fell off. Yeah, we fucking remember that dude. There is zero BDE coming from Uncle Frank. No way. I don't know. I mean, he's quite confident at least. Well, I guess he's funny.

It's no wonder he was dating Ariana Grande. Look, it's just in comparison to a child's penis. Wait, hold on. I'm sorry. Are you suggesting that Uncle Frank has a. Pete Davidson's dating history. He's got that level of a body count. Gotcha.

Kanye West fucking hates his guts. Just will not stop going after him for Uncle Frank. Because the actor in real life probably celebrates Hanukkah and so also that you know what I was saying. Well, first, yeah, one, double up there.

That's a double hit for Kanye right there. Oh, that's a double dip all right. Double dip shit. Yeah. Fuck that guy. Yeah. getting ready it's the same shit and it's like katherine o'hara can smell something's off she's like i don't know about this you know this trip or whatever everybody kind of has last year in the rearview which is

unfortunate which is why you take a year off and you do nothing and like you were saying then just sort of reference last year when we all stayed home for christmas and we hated it because there's too many children now we have to go to florida because if like the events of the last film happened Okay, oof, that was close one. Sorry, ma'am, whatever. The events of this film happened. Your kid is gone. I'm sorry that the state is taking him.

Oh, you got fucking four more, so it's fine. Oh, no, I don't know. Those younger ones, I think fucking Pete would be gone, too. They'd just start picking them off from the end, dude. It's like, maybe you get to keep buzz. Take him in a pair. It's like they can go to the pair as a pair to the foster home. That makes total sense.

And I think you got to give Kevin to Pete's arms dealer brother who has the New York City penthouse and the French Riviera spot. Uncle Rob and Aunt George Jackman. Uncle Rob who definitely definitely doesn't know any kings in Syria and doesn't know how to get backdoor ammunition to them

at any point. He definitely does not know them. I think Uncle Rob is the only guy who made money on that Iraqi Dinar scare. Yep. He's the one. It came in for Uncle Rob only. I think we just I think we just released

Uncle Rob in exchange for Britney Griner last did good trade honestly you can have them. Uncle Rob also known as the Merchant of Death. Does that mean the brownstone's available? I think that's not that it's in my budget. My goodness. It's right next to

Jeffrey Epstein's, which is also available. I think Epstein was an east sider. Oh, that's right. That's true. I like Pepperless side better. We do switch things up a little bit, a little bit. That's the thing because the new stuff had me laughing. Like the bit where Buzz is fucking with him with the candles.

It is, but also the audience goes, like the audience within the auditorium, not the movie audience. It's like way to. It must have been a really Christmas, a really boring Christmas concert if they're laughing that hard. Well, clearly, I mean, look at the songs that they're saying in the choir. It was a terrible event.

I think it's great because Man O'Mer, the sight of an entire auditorium laughing at a kid singing a solo? Oh, funny. Oh, funny. Good job, Buzz. So was there an open bar at this recital? It's like, that's the only way I really buy this is if everybody's

drunk and this kid has, like it's not that good a bit. Two candles that look kind of like horns. It's fine. I get it at the time. The drumming is what the drumming is when it's really. The drumming, I guess. That's funny. That's good. Maybe they all brought flasks. Maybe over one.

Sure. It's a B-Y-O concert. That makes sense. Uncle Frank is definitely... Uncle Frank is definitely... Yeah, he's loaded. He's passed out, first of all, so, yeah. If he's anything like me around my nephew, he's pretty loaded.

I noticed this time around that it's definitely like a private school that they're at, so you can imagine... Of course it is. It's the McAllister's baby. Man, paying private school tuition for five children. Jesus Christ. Well, yeah, that sucks. Maybe, well, because only... Are they all the kids in it or is just Kevin and Buzz?

I mean, I don't know. I feel like you send the kids to the same school, but maybe not. And no, Pete is there. Oh, yeah, you're right. What does John Hurd do again? Is he like Bernie Madoff or something? It's got to be a money man for somebody. Yeah, you never know.

In the first movie, they sort of insinuate that Kate works in fashion because of all the like mannequins everywhere and sewing equipment stuff. Lots of fabric things and stuff. Yeah, textiles and stuff. Yeah, textiles and shit like that. But I think, yeah, it's some sort of mafia-esque. You know, Mayor Daly was still in office in Chicago during this time. I mean, who the fuck knows the corruption in that state?

Yeah, it's probably one of those, like, jobs that when you hear it, you're like, oh, that's code. That's code for the mob. Like, in Florida, it was pool, like pool installation, pool cleaning pool. Trash, trash. Yeah, construction is another big one in place. Wait, but so in Florida, it was a thing like drug dealers would use, like, pool companies as the front? Yeah, apparently.

Yes. That's great. I mean, there's a lot of it. It makes total sense. There's a lot of pools down there. There's a lot of rats in Jersey. I love this fucking lady on the piano, eating shit. Oh, yeah. She's definitely killed. Apparently, if the trivia is to be believed, the guy that they had in to be the stuntman for this fall,

if you like slow-mo it, which, we did not do. You can see this dude's like five o'clock shadows. It's just like this dude dressed up as an old lady falling off his stool. He just falls back. Nah, my fucking knee. Don't worry, kids. Missed out fire is going to be okay.

Hey, Paul. Hey, Paul, we have to reset. Yeah, yeah. Could you put the wig back on? Paul, we have to reset. Yeah, you're going to get hit again. No, you don't have to say. It is great seeing all those kids go down like dominoes.

That is really funny. It's great physical. I mean, the movie is great physical comedy from top of the bottom. Right. And right from the start, here we get it before. We've got Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern back at all. You're still laughing at some good falls. Just kids eating shit.

Old ladies eating shit. It's awesome. I also like this buzz turn where like he's got everybody. He's like the purple man. Everybody's doing whatever he says kind of a deal. I love it. It's just, it's a funny bit. They don't do enough with it, I think. Yeah. His whole apology.

They do it once. You know what I mean? You kind of want to do it twice, I think. You know? Well, because there's clearly some connection between Buzz and Pete for Pete to allow this shit to keep on God. Him and Catherine O'Hara allowing this to, because they know Buzz is a piece of shit. Don't tell me they don't know it. They know

their kid. They know he's a piece of shit. So for them to allow this to happen after their kid is a year out from almost drowning in the basement of his maybe killer fucking neighbor. Like I just like it's so insane that they allow this to happen and they're like, well

Kevin, we're waiting for your apology. for what happened for what your brother did to you we're waiting for your apology. Kevin is fucking annoying I think I is the thing and their parents fucking hate him already like shut the fuck up. I think you're right dude because I think it was like the first you know oh my God Kevin Kevin Kevin that lasted until about Easter and then Kevin started

getting on everybody's nerves. And eight months later you're like this fucking kid is going down. Because Kevin his shit don't stink. That's how he behaves. Well but then they should have broken up the family in the first place. If this is how you're going to act, oh, no, my kid is being annoying after he was almost killed by two adults. Chris, would you see he's acting like a little trout sniffer right then?

A little bit of a trout sniffer. I don't know what that means, but I do think it is what he is. But that is the insult buzz hurls at him after this apology. And yeah, I don't know what it means either, but I like it. Do you fish? Is that like a fishing term? I don't, I can't tell. Yeah, I don't know.

I mean, the insult should be you smell like trout. You know, that you are smelling. And you smell like one, too. Yeah, maybe. But yeah, the whole Jack McCoy bit that Buzz does here, I was not fond of. And then, of course, Catherine O'Hara goes up and says, look, you really should apologize to me again for the thing that your brother did to you. Okay.

According to the Urban Dictionary. Oh, no. Please don't be racist. Trout sniffer is a person who sniffs the inside of a female's underwear. Wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wouldn't it guess that? Yeah.

Oh, so wait a bit. Okay, so then Buzz definitely knows what this is. Oh, because Buzz is projecting right here. Like, it's not even Peter McAllister knows what a trout sniffer is, but Buzz does. Kevin surely has no idea when he's just been called. By the way, that was added to this thing in 2018. Damn. So we were late to the draw on getting that up on the Urban Dixen.

Oh, boy. so i mean what happens so everybody goes to bed uh peter mccalster before everybody goes to bed make sure that nobody else has alarm there's no other clock in the house other than their alarm clock in the primary bedroom it's just a sea of people like everywhere you go is just people sleeping because everyone the whole town seemingly is going on this trip uncle frank you know he's an older fella sure you know they're up late you know probably They got back from the recital. I had to order 10 cheese pizzas at like 9.30. He's drinking some Coke, you know? I guarantee you Uncle Frank is fucking in Peter McAllister's house. He's that kind of a brother.

Oh, sure. Like, you know, the rule is you just don't. You know what I mean? When you're in the guest room, not even about the noise, just don't. That kind of brother. He's definitely doing it. Yes, absolutely. But I'm saying, though, I think that this, like, there's no way this dude doesn't

waking up at like 630 to take a leak. You know what I mean? Especially all these kids, no one woke up early, like I don't have kids. But my understanding is they wake up at like four in the morning. It's one of the reasons your life is miserable for 20 years. They piss and shit themselves constantly. They have to constantly be cleaned, yeah. Or like, you know, Fuller didn't fucking have a wet one in the evening and, you know, wake up to that.

The other thing is the, the laziness of we did it again. And then they play the same music cue And we get the same thing over there We don't get the amazing Chicago kid back Like, oh hey, where are you guys going this time? Sausage Clause did not visit him this year. Oh, oh Miami, eh?

Isn't that where Scarface is from? Boy, I love Scarface. My dad took me to see that movie. It was pretty violent. Yeah, oh, he takes out that chainsaw. You got to see Dan Marino down in Miami. Miami or what?

In 1999, one sausage Clause came to that little boy. I was like you have had too much Chicago sausage you need to take a few years off. And so that's why he doesn't go visit the McAllister. Sausage Clause insisted on it.

And when Sausage Clause gives you an order, you fucking listen. It's true. Absolutely. You know what? If you don't, if you make the naughty list, you end up as sausage. Yeah. Dude, and then all of a sudden, you're the tasty links. He's got his vicious elves up at the North Pole grinding up human meat.

Yeah. Just working with casing day in, day out, just grinding it out. Oh, it's going to be bangers only for you now. And that's real casing, by the way, the intestines from changing. Of course. You're not got to get the fake stuff from sausage claws. Are you kidding me? He's not doing the fake stuff.

Oh, yeah, he does the best, nothing but. Oh, no additive ingredients and sausage. Clause's products They get Kevin on the bus this time And I mean like this is where the movie just Like I know I know it's a comedy It has to happen for the movie to actually exist No one's holding this kid's hand at the airport

I mean come on dude Like the last time at least like It's conceivable because like hey look Oh we're in a rush we did count the kid But it was the wrong kid and blah blah blah The wrong information was relayed this time Peter McAllister is next to his tiny tiny child and is like keep the fuck up and he starts moving

that's it that's what he does I'm sorry because he's hungover is I guess what we're saying yeah because he's like he's definitely like Kevin you got my bag oh thank God he can carry it oh god just you just you hold on to that I mean like I know this is an extreme option and I'm sure Eric's going to have some things to say about this

but I think you have to handcuff yourself to your kid. You do. At this point, you have to do that. Yes. The parents will do at Disney World and stuff. It's undignified, but at this scenario, on a fucking, on one of the busiest travel days of the year, or at the very least, you've got to do the thing where you pick the kid up and you're running with him. Because he's small anyway. A leash or, you know, you get a rope to tie around his neck or something. Anything like that. Anything. Because I mean, is it, um, I'm just realizing now, though, because you never see the in-laws have this problem. Are Uncle Frank

and what's her face? Leslie. Are they better parents? Fuller's never going to they would have to be. They have to be. Leslie seems like a pretty good mom. That's true. It's all Leslie. Yeah, that's not Uncle Frank. The Ramsies were better parents, dude. Like, come on. You missed this kid twice? Well, that's the thing. As Leslie is also, I think she runs a tighter ship than Catherine O'Hara does. I don't think Frank is telling any of his kids

about his dick. I don't think that's happening. I think that he would, Leslie would not allow that to happen in her house. But I mean, this happened to me last year. I went to, I think I might even told this story last year, so stop me if I have. But I went to the San Diego Zoo with my family. I was like, it was my, we had four, four young kids between us, two sets of parents and my mother. I was sixth in the depth chart of being responsible.

You know what I mean? Which is right where I need to be. Like, I have the least responsible adult for these kids, but I was having a fucking panic attack. Like, who's going to the bathroom? Who's fucking not keep it up? Like, oh, is he with him? Okay, okay. Where's the other one?

He's over there. Like, keep track of just kids in a, in a big environment like that. And you're just running to the plane because you got to get your seat. Like, you're sick. So, Steve, did you save the dad? I didn't do anything. I did jack shit. But I was nervous all day.

There you go. Sure. And again, the parents are sitting in first class and the kids are all in coach. Yep. And none of the kids are sitting together. and she's like, oh, of course, it's this time of year. But again, if your last Christmas was we lost a kid, I feel like you're getting seats with your kids

and you're all sitting together. At the very least, one of the parents is sitting with Kevin. Yeah, exactly. It takes a while to board it. Just go back there before takeoff and make sure everyone's there. Right. Of course, because if you were any logical person, the thought that's going through your head is,

if what happened last year happens again, I have to kill myself. If this happens again, I am so irresponsible and unable to keep focus of my brood, this fucking gaggle of children that I run. Like you just, you got to give it up. Either you give up life or you go and you like go vagabond style, go roam the fucking countryside. I don't know, man. Again, you're not even losing, you're not even leaving him at home. And it's like, well, there's food.

blah, blah, blah. Maybe a neighbor could check out on. This kid's lost at the airport. This kid's getting snatched. I'm sorry. Now you're on Dateline. You are the fucking, the airport parents or whatever the hell is you, whatever date line calls you. The beginning of a Liam Neeson movie.

Dateline for the second. I would argue for the second year in a row. You're double, you are the most watched family in America for about two years. There was a story. I don't know if I mentioned this on our last episode. Speaking of the Ramsies. Sorry. Probably not.

there was a family in like the late 80s or early 90s I only know this from David Letterman monologues but they went on vacation over the holidays and left their kids in the house to fend for themselves and to cook and shit and they were like super young

oh wow oh really? Yeah it didn't work out so well so they parents got arrested at the airport coming back wow are we talking dead kids no I think they lived but it was like a huge national story. Everyone was making

fun of it and talking about it. Had they knowingly left the kids? Yes. They knowingly left them like mommy and daddy going on vacation over the holidays. There's like a frozen pizza in the fridge. Good luck. Oh wow. It's kind of like because I just rewatched it like two days

ago. But it's like at the beginning of Unforgiven when Clinties was just talking to those two little kids and he's like, all right I'm going away for weeks at a time. And your dead mother is looking over you now. Bye, bye. Well, the good news is CPS is still about 80 years away. I could do whatever I want. Me and Marla are going on vacation. We need a break from you kids. Me and your dead

mothers. So we're going to go on a vacation together to, I don't know, 50 miles from here. It is fucking weird. Like at one point in that movie when Morgan Freeman's like, oh, where are the children? And he's like, the Lord is watching. over them and Morgan Freeman's like got it sounds like a perfect excuse that's not a babysitter so we're running through this airport

by the way I just looked it up they left for nine days for vacation in Mexico leaving their nine year old and four year old daughters alone that's so young this is 1992 so these movies had come out you know they were inspired they were like that's a great

idea it worked out well for Kevin, let's, these kids will just chop. All right, no, you got Bob, me and daddy you go to Mexico to his fucking pizza in the fridge,

your soda in your fridge. And we left a lot of micro machines if anybody tries to come inside, okay? All right, now remember, if you're gonna give a movie you're gonna wear a pizza,

here's the gangster movie you got to put on to scare them away with the machine guns out. Yeah, so it's just absolutely no way that they're coming home to the entire plot of Jose Saramago's blindness a house full of kids who have gone blind and attacking

each other. If anyone wants to look this up there, David and Sharon's shoe. Oh, boy. I'm going to do that. Wikipedia or rabbit hole when we're done. Don't worry about it. It's the shoes. And they were arrested in old hair, pulling it right back to Chicago. Oh, fuck.

Oh, these people, dude, yes, they were inspired by. Oh, this is not a movie to emulate. No, man. But I would watch the movie of that story. Yeah. First of all, so he gives Kevin his bag because Kevin wants batteries. He's like, hey, Kevin, oh, you want to hold my bag?

How cute of you? You're going to hold my bag. You got to fucking keep up, kid. And he wants, by the way, this bag, full of fucking Mr. McAllister stash, by the way. It's like 12 grand and fucking unmarked bills or whatever's going on. Yeah. Yep. Oh, you're going to be passing them all down in Florida.

Exactly. He was going to go work with some pool guys in Florida. Or like hand it off at the airport, you know, for his criminal network. Oh, yeah. Oh, yep, totally. Like the beginning of collateral. Exactly. Tom Cruise and Jason and Statham just exchanged those bags. There's just these pill bottles at the bottom of it. He's like, what's this for, Dad? And fucking Peter McAllister should know better than to do this. I, if the kid is asking, for batteries because he wants to change the batteries on his little recorder that is very important and was definitely for sale

at the time. What are you getting? No, it wasn't. It wasn't actually. This is an interesting thing. No, this is an interesting thing. It was a fake thing that they designed for the movie and then it was so popular Tiger designed the talk boy and the talk girl for sale

after the movie was a huge hit. Oh, that's so funny. But also, what is Kevin going to do with it? Then he's like, I need these batteries before we get to the gate. Mischiff. He needs it for mischief. Kids. Well, I guess he wants to listen.

It's also a walkman, so that's what he's listening to Christmas music. So I guess he's intending to listen to music on the flight. Right. I guess. That's true. Right. But you can get the batteries on the plane.

Yes, you can also do that. But just grab this kid's arm and make sure you're holding him the entire time. It's not that difficult. But he just runs. One of those, like, baby wearing things. I know. He's not that big. It's just.

McCulley Culkin, you know, just put him, so you're wearing him like a kangaroo. He's baby-sized for sure. He's gotten a lot bigger in the two years between Home Alone and Home Alone, too, but not that much. He's still a little guy. Listen, my brother walked away in the mall

one time. My mother had that kid on a fucking leash apparatus. Don't even hear about it. It's crazy heart moment. Yeah, my mom was drunk running around the mall. You see a kid in it? here. Oh, poor Jeff Bridges in that movie. But he loses, you know, Mr. McAllister is off to the

races and Kevin thinks he's got him. I think he even yells wait up and this guy can't even hear him. Just, just running. You get to look at this guy who he thinks is his father. No. The guy that he winds up like following accidentally, he looks like a composite sketch on unsolved mysteries. Yeah. Like, there's just something so like, uh, uh, uh, Like, like, detailless about the guy's face. And, of course, he's got a terrifying pencil mustache. Yeah, it's a wispy mustache. Yeah, it's good.

It might be a stuntman. Like, he has that look in the build. He does, yeah. Yeah. He might have been John Hurd's, like, stand in or something. Oh, that could be, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we're running to the gate.

And this is a classic pre-9-11. Oh, your boarding passes in this pile of papers. Come on board. No problem. Come on board and just find an empty seat when we've already established that it's assigned seating but not for Kevin I guess

I don't know. Yeah, I mean that's with both of these movies it's like there there does come a point here and there where the screenplay has to bend over backwards to make this work like in the first movie they do their damnedest to make sure the cops aren't going to come to the house

and I feel like it all works but it also doesn't in a fun way In the first movie there is also, which is never explored, which is fine and for the best, but it does help a little bit with the logic. There's a little bit of magic, right? He makes the wish. There's a wispy noise. The fucking power goes out.

You know what I mean? Like there's a little bit of Christmas magic as to why this kid might be separated. This time, it's pure negligence. Yeah, but he loves it, thought. It's pure negligence and also O'Hare being the most confusing airport in the world. I probably would have gotten lost for my family there. But this eyebrow wiggle, once he gets to New York and he realizes he can do whatever he wants, it's a little...

When he's in the Long Island City, Vernon Boulevard Airport, International Airport. Oh, yeah. Can you imagine? I mean, I know, I know there's going to be a lot of New York geography talk, which not everyone loves on the show, but I don't care. That's why I got, you know, brought another New Yorker on for this episode. It would be so scary if there was a major international airport in Long Island City. That's so close to Manhattan.

Planes would be landing over one of my favorite bars. Yeah, wouldn't it all be Long Island City? Wouldn't that all have to take up all the space of Long Island? Essentially, yeah, it would just be that then. Well, that's the other thing, too. So he gets there and, like, there's no attempt on his end, on Kevin's end to be like, oh, shit, let me call the hotel. I think that we were staying at the. whatever you know what I mean because that's a little bit on you Kevin yes your parents

I didn't want to go to Florida yeah yeah he's like whatever this sounds much more fun than Miami at Christmas which as someone who spent many Miami Christmases I get it yeah he'd rather be dead in a dumpster on the lower east side yeah he's got three stacks of high society in his dad's bag so he's gonna be fine for the weekend yeah the look he gives definitely suggests that like he is very happy to be like he immediately like they set it up in the first one that he's like oh my god i'm so pissed off with my family i'm so fucking done with them it's been building up for years and this one it's just immediately like oh i'm happy i'm in new york after by the way he pans the camera because

he has to speak to a frenchman yeah which is i'm just like what what what oh this is a joke out of fucking nowhere like a renan stimpy joke that found itself in the home alone just to slow pan to the camera like can you believe it He's French. Yes. The only reason that that happens is so that he puts his headphones on and he misses the line nonstop to New York. That's kind of right.

But no, you're right. He does spike the camera for no reason. So do you think the Frenchman's going to New York or is he getting a connecting flight? Oh, good question. Well, so I looked up what it was he said because I don't speak French at all. And apparently he's saying,

it's the first time I've come to America. Can you tell me a good restaurant or maybe your parents know a good place? Why aren't you replying? You speak French, right? I don't think English at all. Help me out here. You don't want to talk to me, do you?

Are you upset with me? So that's what we're missing. I am upset, Jacques. Yeah, I'm upset. Well, the thing too, with the eyebrows, by the way, like this is part of the cookie cutter fucking Madlib screenwriting because he does the same thing in the first movie after I made my parents disappear, boink, boink, eyebrow raise.

in this movie you got to get that fucking eyebrow raise in man it's a thing he did in the first movie so like here's where we just shove it in and that's the shit that is the most disappointing in this movie is every time you're like oh it's a thing in the first movie yes we love to do that

we get Ali Sheedy at the ticket counter here though nice little John Hughes World Cameo that was nice to see I'm glad to see her I'll tell you I am not happy to see this little joke we have when they land in Miami me and they're like, Kevin isn't here. Kevin isn't here. Kevin isn't here.

Oh my God. I'm still alive and not driving myself into traffic somehow. I'm not like just floating on air to how I can murder myself. I got to tell you the one thing that really works. Not the one thing. My favorite joke of the movie is when Catherine O'Hara and John Hurd sit down. And John Hurd's like, we never lose our luggage and they both have a huge laugh about it. I love it.

They're so cute together. It's such a nice moment for the day. do them. Yes. Exactly. They have really good chemistry together. I mean, and especially it's even better for the second one. They're coming back together. This movie and the first one benefits so much

from the casting of Catherine O'Hara and John Hurd. Oh, absolutely. And they do the in-sync knock on wood on the cop's desk, which is fucking great. It's the best. They're so great. If I was, but if I was this portly Miami police officer

who's taking all this information down and his hearing, who is going to, I mean, he probably would have heard about the first incident anyway, but anyway, he hears all this. My first note, my first note off the bat would be like, you know, honestly, I would just quit it with the jokes. The jokes about your kid being abandoned and like that being a funny joke for your family. Like, I would just like keep those at home, buddy. I don't think that's going to do well with the New York Police Department. I'll tell you that much. Yeah, totally. Once fucking Jerry Orbach gets to you. Yeah, not going to like it.

Then you're in trouble. Yeah. So, yeah, whatever. He has, you know, a nice little montage of, like, driving into the city. He goes over the Queensboro Bridge. And he goes all the way downtown before you've been checks into a hotel. That seems exhausting.

It's an exhausting day, dude. You wait all the way from, like, let's say, let's call it LaGuardia, all the way down to the battery where he's looking out at the Statue of Liberty. That's a fucking day. I know. town to get fireworks because of course they're handing them out down there of course right and then we're at the top of the world trade center at one point mm-hmm it's a lot which i was

reading um and this is this is interesting right because you know the motto around these united states for so long right was never forget still is in some circles oh yeah this movie after nine 11, they edited out all the stuff with him. Really? Really? The Trade Center. And it didn't come back until like 2018. And I'm like, guys, if you don't want to forget, stop cut shit out of movies.

You know what I mean? He was casing the joint for Osama and the boys. Early days. Well, dude, just a year later was the parking garage. And who gave him the information? One little boy, one mischievous little boy who was taking pictures up on the roof. He's like, yeah, the basement

might be accessible for, I don't know, you get a big van down there? Sure. All you need to do is bump into the lady with all the boarding passes. Say yours inside of it. Then you're on the plane. Man, and that's the movie in the middle of this is how in the world he was recruited by Al Qaeda. Oh, man. Well, I just like the idea of Kevin McAllister essentially being the Tom Noonan from Heat Roll in that situation. He's got all the blueprints. He knows where to go. He's telling you exactly what time to hit the place. Absolutely. while this is happening at one point when he's when he's downtown by the way he goes to the South Street

Seaport and this is where we see our good friends the wet bandits who we are told from that newspaper clipping

broke out of jail while a prison riot was going on which is pretty great I'd love to see that oh yeah oh yeah come on Marv

you gotta go it Daniel Stern's beating someone to death with a fucking I don't know a bedpost that he broke

go off for something. They kill a few guards and they have to run now. Yeah, exactly. They got out when Ethan Hunt broke out of that prison and beginning of Ghost Protocol. Oh, definitely. That's where they were. Oh, well, they didn't expect us to get out, I guess. We're not terrorists.

And I guess they hitch a ride to New York, which doesn't I mean, sure. I guess they hide in this fish truck. I mean, like jumping on a train would make more sense than this, but yeah. Yeah, riding all the way I mean, I guess I don't know

where they were in jail, but still. Yeah, we don't know where they were housed. Probably Illinois, right? I mean, maybe they were just at Sing Sing and then it's like, you're not so bad. Well, talk about definitely taking the train then. Well, you're just up the river a little

bit. That's true. I love the gag where Joe Pesci's like, you smell that mom? And he's like, yeah, it's fish. And he's like, no, it's opportunity. It smells like fish, though. And they are in a fish truck. I have to say fucking Daniel Stern, I think,

is the MVP of this movie. Yeah, she's great too. Yeah. Daniel Stern in this one definitely, definitely MVP for me. A lot of it a lot of it, I think, is they wrote it as, oh, kids really loved that character. Let's give him lots of silly screaming to do

that the kids loved. The screaming, and then he's also, you know, when Joe Pesci's like, you know, then we'll, once we make our big score, we'll get some fake passports and high-tail to a fake a foreign country and you know Marve is like yeah like Arizona

they definitely I mean you know it's not like he was a Rhodes Scholar in the first one but they dumb him down a lot in this one but I don't mind it's right it's funny and it's I like it I'm not even sure if you're like

yes they do but like I think the whole point is they are Looney Tunes like Daniel Stern specifically especially towards the end of this I mean even the Arizona line is kind of a looney Tunes line. But like when he like when they get I mean we'll get to it when he they get to the townhouse

but when he gets smashed and his nose is crooked and he's like I didn't think that was that's what just happened isn't like that that is such a like Looney Tune pause moment I was like struck I was like oh well that's and I actually that is my favorite part of this film It's the sound of a tool shit falling down the stairs I think Pesci give also why there's more Marv

I think Pesci gave less of a shit this time of around. Clearly. He was like, I did this once and it was fun. Yeah. Because I think he wanted an Oscar in between filming this movie and he won an Oscar for Goodfellas in 1990, so the ceremony in 91, and he

was given this award by the pigeon lady. Because what is this Irish woman's name? Brenda Fricker. Yes, Brendan Fricker. She played the mom in my left foot and she won the best supporting Academy Award for it. So then as

tradition she had to present the next year's actor winner and it was Peschi for Goodfellas. Hollywood Magic. Wow. Oh yeah. If IMDB is to be believed trivia here after one scene, McCulley Culley can ask Joe Pesci why he never smiled. Pesci told him to shut up. At the time, Pesci out. At the time Pesci said he's pampered by a lot of people but not me and I think he likes that. Yeah, he likes when I tell him to

shut up. Hey, shut the fuck up kid. awesome. I love it. You know what? The last time I saw McCulley, I punched him right in the eye. He said that I never, nobody has been such an influence on him than I, the person who punched him right in the face. I punched him in the face. It was two weeks after the premiere of the Irish. Is a child, is a child abuse for three, just all of them, though? Is that truly,

is that truly an unfair fight? Oh, great question, actually. We're all at the same skill level, Jerry. Speaking of which, I noticed this time around, man, Daniel Stern, in both movies, but I guess this one, because they're in the city, he is dressed exactly like Cosmo Kramer and I love it. I love it. Just the ratty scumbagg, 70s, you know, clothes. Oh, God. But yeah, so Kevin is just going around, like, I mean, look, yeah, doing world trade and then going up and then like, it's just, it's very illogical the way he's running around, but he is just burning through this fat stack. Yep. Uh, with un-cab money. Because he's not

taking the train, obviously. No, no. We never see the subway. No subway, which is interesting. Well, because he's a little rich boy, you know? Exactly. It's also probably a nightmare to film. I can't, the logistics of filming this movie in New York and so much of it is on location blows my mind. I cannot imagine how frustrating it had to be.

Well, also with O'Hare, they couldn't close the airport. If the trivia is to be believed, they filmed this in February of the previous year and like O'Hare had to just leave all the Christmas decorations up. You can't close one of the, the major airports in the United States. But I also heard that the big part of it was is because, and it's hard for people to remember this, but the nation had Culkin mania.

Oh, big time. Sure. The nation was obsessed with a child and they were very interested in what the child was doing at all times. And they were like apparently at the O'Hare shoot, like there were like people at the door and they

like had to like push them off. Like, hey, we see you when we're filming. Please stop. That's so weird. And like that's like the weirdest this shit in the world for this kid that yes and like maybe I mean hey maybe Joe Pesci's right maybe like punching him and fucking telling him he's a piece of shit

will make him like you a little bit more than all these people who love him yeah well you got to imagine right he grew up with like a bunch of yes people around him his parents certainly saw dollar signs all over this kid to have Pesci who you know by every report is a real deal

fucking just Jersey dude like I'm sure he didn't have a fucking second for that kid's shenanigans and you know told him to his face and good for him for doing it. I think that's good but also you definitely need the kind of sway that Culkin had for me to believe he pulls

a true Beverly Hills cop on this fucking Tim Kirk on this the Adams family lady Dana Ivy May I propose something? America's answer to Fiona Shaw sure oh yes definitely I take that yeah absolutely

certainly in the stockinged leg department. Dude, I remember being I remember being a youngster watching this movie and they just, they have Dana Ivy in these really long black stockings and like the scene where she, you know,

gets down like a fucking center, you know, on the defensive line ready to block this fucking kid. She sort of like bends the, and I just remember being like, oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, look at those legs. Oh, no. My wife's in the room. That's not information.

Although, you know, here's the thing, though, definitely didn't feel the same jitterbugs during the Adams family. There you go. Which she's also in. Different moods. She winds up marrying cousin it. Cousinette, yeah. Mrs. It. Mrs. It.

So he gets to the word famous Plaza Hotel. Credit card? Oh, God. That's another part. I quote, anytime a credit card comes up, which is, A lot. Yeah, you know, Tim Curry as, like, the head concierge dude here, fucking classic. And this is where, like, the first movie, I think is great, you know, I miss a character

like this and this. Like, it's kind of weird when we think about the first movie, not a ton of, like, extra supporting characters outside of Old Man Marley. This is, in the first movie, this is all really small parts. the person who works at the grocery store who he's talking to, the person who he asks about the toothbrush. You know, we never get very much of those characters

and they're not established actors who we know already in love like Tim Curry is. And Rob Schneider. And Rob Schneider is not really a sentence that I'm ready to say. He's not beloved nor in action. But he's great and like perfect. He's very funny. He works in this.

He's perfect in this. But I do want to be clear. One thing we're forgetting is that John fucking Candie is in the first movie. So there's that. Oh, shit. You're right. You're right. There it is. You don't get a John Candy stand in this one, which is a fault. Apparently, he was

supposed to do some sort of role in this movie. It didn't work out. Would he have been the same guy? I don't know. I don't know. I hope so. If they were like on tour, a poker concert in. Totally. Oh, yeah. This is where you could do it, right? Because, you know,

Plaza Hotel, Central Park South. The place that Woody used to do the clarinet jazz sessions, hotel is just right down the street if John Candy's Polka, the whatever Polka kids. I think they were playing much smaller venue. No, but this is the sequel

Chelsea and so you can amp it up. They're successful in this movie. I don't know. That's too many. It's the whole, everyone they've met in the first movie showing up in New York is too convenient. But yeah, you're right. The John Candy role in this movie is kind of the pigeon lady because she's the one that adds the heart,

you know? You're right. You're right. But the pigeon lady is also kind of the salt guy from the first one. Yeah, but also we're splitting that with old man Duncan a little, you know, of being like, oh, he's a nice old man and we're helping build a hospital or whatever. What's what these little, this little kid making friends with old people? This is ridiculous. This is the most unbelievable part of the world.

And also not a great idea, dude. You know what I mean? Like give those people a fucking wide birth. He should be pranking them, Steve. He should be terrorizing old man Duncan. Well, it's fucking fuller is his fucking, I mean, like, that's the only kid around his age. And he's pissing himself all the time. You don't want to hang out with that kid all the time.

Like, that's the thing is they're like, everybody else kind of sucks, right, Kevin? And like, you're the best, right, Kevin? And that's also why you get Tim Curry is because now in the first movie, the supermarket lady, like, it was important for her to look like a fool in the face of Culkin. Yeah. But now, now it is important because Culkin is, Culkin mania is on and fucking people want to see him fucking trounce people. So he got out. You're right. Fronzing adults.

Yes, it gets Curry, he gets Schneider, and he gets Dana Ivy as well. I mean, he gets the whole hotel security in that one scene. Poor Cliff. The, what do you call? I do agree. The kid powerness has been updated quite a bit. A lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I do just think, like, Tim Curry is great in this. Rob Schneider's doing a job in this. And I love, I prefer Daniel Stern and Joe Pashy. It does just feel like a little too much. Oh, yeah, no, it is. If they just focused on, you know, maybe it wouldn't. be as beloved or whatever. But if if Tim Curry, you know, got

his hands burned or something. Yeah. I'd be having a great time too. It'd be a little more, yeah, it would be different. You don't even, it would really feel like home alone too as opposed to just home alone again. Yes. This is home alone again. In New York. It is home alone again. I think, oh, I just got something

though. If it turned out Rob Schneider's character was crooked and he befriends the wet bandits or he meets them somewhere and they convince him, like, I'd Joe Pesci's like, all right, man, give us, like, some uniforms. We can disguise ourselves as hotel employees. Rob Schneider could also be like maybe a younger brother to Daniel Stern.

They don't look dissimilar. High hair at least. And the face. There's some similarities. I can see it. Yeah. If that was the case. And then, yeah, you are really running around this hotel.

Rob Schneider, that would be pretty cool. Is a guy that, like, gets kids for people? Is that what we're saying? Yes, exactly. Oh, I play the kid getter and the new home. Loan movie. Oh, wait, my brother knows this kid? That's crazy. Oh, he definitely should

be the one to kill him. Let me call him. Yes, I definitely want to have a resume that reads Kid Gitter in Home Alongton. There are kid getters working every day. Sure, sure. I'm sure they're very public about that, that they do that. So he makes the reservation

with the talk boy, uh, with the voice modulation. A little pre-scream scream, scream with your favorite scary movie. Oh, Friday to the 13th, you got it. So he really went to the video store and rented, right? Because these are VHS tapes in his room of Mutville Massacre and Angels with even filthier souls. If you hang up on me, I'm going to kill you just like your mother.

You know what's greatest before he's watching the movies, they have the scene where he goes swimming. And I was curious in Google, because I've been to the plaza for events and we've been to like the shopping area. But I've never stayed there. So I was like, do they have a pool? And apparently there's a frequently asked question section on the website that says, and I quote, despite Kevin McAllister's famous cannonball, the plaza does not house a swimming pool. Yeah, it was the four seasons in Chicago, but that is fucking hilarious.

I love that the website still has to be like, please, please, please don't come and ask. Well, you know what Plaza Hotel, lean into it, man. That's pretty cool. Putting a pool in? That's got to be hard. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm saying they're leaning into it by mentioning Kevin McCallel. Oh, oh, I thought you meant they should build a pool.

The Kevin McAllister Memorial Pool. I mean, if they got rid of that food court area that we've been to, you can make that a pool. You could put a pool down there. But that food court, like, holiday market was pretty nice. Yeah, we haven't been there in a long time. Certainly not since the pandemic. The bid, yeah. And what's what is the point of the pool scene but to also like reference again,

Like, reference the boy's penis and the boy being naked in the pool. Like, that, it's all fucking, yes, exactly. It's all fucking revving up to a kid being naked in front of old people. Yeah, dude. And that being the joke. And I'm like, great, that's fantastic. Let's go watch the ventilator and fucking heal from this. You know, it's weird, my, uh, you already mentioned my clarinet club.

Now my ears are really burning. Oh, man, this might be my favorite podcast. Yeah, yeah, John Candy, I heard about the gig, I wouldn't take it. That place is a little haunted, I'm just going to say, you just don't, you don't want to be near the guy who is kind of running the place these days. The funny thing about that cannonball scene, though, is like, he walks in, and it's like, it's just a kid at a pool. You know what I mean? Sure. That's a dime a dozen, you know?

Yeah. These adults are all staring at this kid like a fucking alien walked in with some pool slippers on. They know what's up. He's going to pee in the pool. Like, now it's like, cool. Now I have to watch this kid and make sure it doesn't count. Okay. And I get that.

But let me ask you this, though. All right. We're in a pool. You see a kid. Yes. Are you like, well, who is he with? Yes. A hundred percent.

No way. A thousand percent because I'm like, now I have a kid and I have to watch it. I agree. That's your problem, lady. I mean, come on. Well, you know, it's on my second X chromosome. I can't help it. No, I'm a similar.

same way, like, depending on the age, if it's like a 13-year-old kid, I'm like, oh, whatever, but if it's like some 7-year-old, like, watch me do a candid ball, like, who the fuck are you with kid? They are going to be horsing around, now you're responsible is the nearest adult. Exactly, it's your responsibility because no grown-up

thing with them. Horsing around. Wait a second. They're going to shit in the pool, Andrew. Okay, but hang on. They're going to pee in the pool, they're going to shit in the pool. Because the McAllister family is filled with selfish adults, so let's just talk about selfish adults for a second. Are you looking at this kid because you're like oh this kid could be in danger or is it like oh this kid might spill

my drink and cause a ruckus you know what dude it's people like you that made that Tommy lee pool party happen okay people need to be aware of what's going what happened at that I don't know this story do I want to know please tell me Steve I don't know what's going on I believe a child drowned to death is what I'm getting while he was making that porno tape no but like that was on a boat there was a separate occasion. There was that broke in the pool? I would just say it, a kid at a pool, you gotta be like, what's this going on?

Absolutely, absolutely. Especially if they're wearing swim trunks that are the equivalent of David Burns' suit in Stop Making Sets. Exactly. He should be like, it's like the flying nun, but it's with bathing shorts.

It's like, I'm pretty sure there's supposed to be like Plaza Hotel. They are, yeah. But honestly, it could be like John Hurd's bathing suit. It fits him that well, you know, Man, I don't know. I wouldn't put my dad's bathing shirt on. That's what I'm saying.

It doesn't fit this kid. Bad news. But that's why it's a hotel loner, which is also weird. Well, but again, it still doesn't fit. I don't know. I would be so terrified for that kid if I was one of these old people. I would never relax. Well, they know what they've got.

I mean, I think, you know, contrary to what the movie tells you, I think Tim Curry, Rob Schneider, they all know what they got. They have the missing kid. The second missing is happening in the, Plaza. We are home to this, this kid, because they do fucking everything for this kid. Like the, the

starched drawers is fucking hilarious. I kind of laugh at that. But like, him just like, ah, yeah, please, ice cream. It's 9 o'clock at night. No, my dad's not here. Yeah, ice cream, pizza, burgers, alcohol. Can I also just

raid that little like gumball, like the snack stash? The mini fridge type of situation? But it's like, but it's not even a, it's like a cabinet. Okay. Is that your problem with the scene? Yes. That's my major.

Is that it's not a fridge? It's a cabinet. My biggest, my biggest problem is that the, the big change up in what happened is they got the same actor from, uh, my Tommy gun, don't. Angels with dirty faces. They got the same guy. But do we filthy souls. Oh. They got the same guy.

The big change up they did is like, this time, he's murdering a woman. Yes. It's true. I mean, honestly, this movie is. pound for pound way more violent than the last movie like just yes and especially to your point Chris yes and the first one it's just some other guy some of the mobster guy this one is he's murdering his lover yeah and by the way she was mooching with everyone she was I mean I don't know have you guys seen a fucking film noir ever guess what happens all the time Andrew you just actually

quoted the actual movie the Bogart movie the angel of dirty faces 1930 yes all right my apologies I was like where is he getting this from I knew it was something. But he does, yes, you get on your knees and tell me you love me. And man, the acoustics, the acoustics on the tall boy must be really amazing. And Tim Curry is like, this is a real person speaking to me. And not something on a toy. It's stupid.

I mean, fooling the pizza boys, one thing. Fuling a whole hotel staff with this is just kind of dumb. Yeah. Well, isn't this? this is also when Tim Curry gets fired, I mean, doesn't get fired for some reason by sneaking into the, sneaks into

the fucking room and I mean, Kevin McAllister I mean, one of the great con men of all time just an absolute criminal mastermind. He knows within like two minutes time to inflate the bozo he somehow brought with him

and put it in the fucking shower. Rig the whole thing to do the same thing we with the first movie in front of the thing. Get it everybody. It's not Michael Jordan this time. Here's the thing, Chris. Much like the movie Ronan, Kevin McAllister

never walks into a room without knowing how to walk out of him. That's true. That's true. That's my man. I think he got in yet the day before with Rob Schneider, you know, and like he gave him the fruit stripe gum is the tip. And the second that dude closed the door, he was blowing up that fucking cloud.

He was getting that thing ready to fucking go, dude. He had three pranks that he never even needed to use, but if you needed to, he would have been all right. Yeah, absolutely. Ready to go just in case. He's calling Jim Belushi to make sure all the alarms are accounted for. Did you get the fifth one? Is that a call in? Or is that an alarm that

goes off in the place? I do like this one, though, because we get to hear Uncle Frank again yell, a little pervert. Get out of here, your nosy little pervert or I'm going to slap you silly. You're a cooking, Frank. Do Tim Curry, Tim Curry tripping over this

fucking side table is also really great. Tim Curry is so good in this movie. I mean, he's great in anything that he's in. But this is like and you know, perhaps there's another performance somewhere but this to me is the most manic

he got since Clue. Yes, I don't say clues Clues what I would use to. At least based on anything I've seen. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Because I wouldn't call Frankenferter manic or anything. It's a wild character but that's a whole

whole different ballgame. Yeah. And also pre-clu. Right. But, yeah, I mean, I just, I love the fucking, like, manic energy he brings to this movie. It's fantastic. It's great. And then the next day, he's super apologetic to Kevin.

And he just wants to meet Mr. McAllister and apologize personally. Because, I mean, yeah, you are breaking into a room. Yeah. It's not even, like, you can't even say room service. It's like fucking 11 o'clock at night, dude. Like, this is not all right. Yeah, totally. He does do a funny Tim Curry voice where he's like,

Room soft as. But again, though, Kevin McAllister's stupid little kid, just put that fucking tag on the door. Exactly, dude. You know what? Don't need it now. Come back later. And do the like, don't rate me, uh,

lock thing on it. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, dude, welcome to New York. Latch that door. That's just, absolutely. There is no locking of any door in either movie in the first one, too. And if you've got people chasing you, a locked door is a nice barcade.

It's like the number one step to stop that. Like I said, like, a latch isn't going to keep somebody out. Like, if they really want to get in, but it'll give you enough time to know someone's coming in. Right, exactly. Yeah, totally. But then after he screwed it up, one of my favorite moments in this movie is the way Tim Curry says, a pizza. Yeah. Oh, yes.

It's just the best. Your limousine and your pizza. I feel so bad for this limo driver because you know he's going to have to wipe down the interior of this entire limo. You know these grubby little nasty. So much pizza. Yeah. Fingers are getting in everything.

It's amazing. Kevin gets to have a real fucking cheese pizza. Sorry, Chicago. And man, the way the steam comes off, no pizza has ever looked better

than this pizza looks in O'M Alone too. Excellent pizza photography. I totally agree. Excellent pizza. And this movie and the first one. Excellent ice cream photography. The ice cream sundaes

that Kevin consumes are on my like top. Like what? movie food do you want to eat the most? It's Kevin McAllister's ice cream sundaes. There's also a great one at the end of Blank Check that I have thought about every single day since whenever I saw blank check in the 90s as a child. Good ice cream actors and good pizza actor in this one. Exactly. There's so many good pizza and ice cream actors in this movie. Well done. I mean, they had to because like, of course they had to call back what's the, we didn't, we can't just let the pizza from the first

movie stay there. Got it's all back that we're bringing back that he still likes his pizza. He still likes pizza. You're still going to

like the movie. He likes pizza still. Do you remember the other movie? That he doesn't? I mean, fuck it the guy. But also the driver

being like, the kid says, show me your finest toy store. And he must be like, okay, we'll take you to F.

Oh, we can't film there. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I mean, and that's the thing. It's like catty corner into the plaza.

He's probably like, cool. I guess I'll turn around. It's going to take me like 20 minutes to circle the block this way. If you had said something at the beginning, we could have gone there. Yeah, we just passed it. But the thing, here is where it gets to. And I, you know, I understand this movie is ridiculous,

but I do have to give it credit for what made me fall in love with it as a kid, which is, again, like I said, how prominent New York is in this movie. I have told Andrew for years that if it weren't for this movie, I would have never met him because this movie and the Babysitters Club there was one of them who was from New York

originally. If it weren't for the two of them I never would have wanted to move to New York. I never would have been like this is the most magical city I can imagine. I need to live there.

I wouldn't have known any of you. I knew Chris and Steve before I knew Andrew and I, yeah, thanks, home alone too. We should have invited Chris Columbus to the wedding. Definitely.

He would have. Yeah, he would have shown out. I mean, and that's, I'm glad you mentioned him again, though, because that's another thing that I feel like is a really good distinction between the two movies is Home Alone One kind of feels like a John Hughes movie. Home Alone 2 feels like a Chris Columbus movie. That's a great point. Yeah. There's at least some grit in the first one that you really don't get in this one.

Yeah. This is squeakier or clean. That's a great one. It's squeakier or clean. No one is poor in this movie even though it's in New York and there's plenty of poverty. I mean, I guess there's the Pigeon Lady, of course. But even that, she's rich with bird shit And she's also sort of magical and mythical

She's sort of dressed the exact same way As the bird lady in Mary Poppins Which is also very dreamlike So it's it's not what it would be Which is fine because it's a children's Christmas movie She's got a great life Like she's got all those bird friends She lives she goes up to the

She gets to see all the music at Carnegie Hall She's squatting up there It's fucking great pad up there you know and she's got the run of that park everyone reveres her she's a Chris Columbus unhoused woman and not a John Hughes

very good point thank you because she's not if it was if she was John Hughes and homeless she'd be drunk yes and meaner yes here's the thing if I'm Kevin McAllis was like tape me to the best

toy store in New York and I go to this place I'd go back out and be like yo dude all that's fucking a bunch of wooden horses and trainsets What am I, what about a hundred years old, dude? You're totally right, Steve, three words, where's the Nintendo?

Exactly. Can I get a fucking Power Ranger, a fucking Ninja Turtle, something? Something I could use, dude. This movie has to end before any of those fucking motherfuckers, the McAllister children, open those presents. Because as soon as Buzz opens up his little hobby horse and realizes it's not fucking battle toads on S&S. Yes. You got a problem on your hands, Mr. Duncan. Exactly. A big problem. Well, yeah, he's still got, he's just like a carpenter's in the back working on

toys for Christmas. I mean, they also, this is, it's hilarious because they did, they filmed Duncan's toy chest. I think only the exterior in Chicago. Exterior is in Chicago. That's because, of course, they, but they have the clock from F.A.O. Schwartz. They have a bunch of signifiers for F. Schwartz in this place. But you are correct. They are making dolls and fucking like, fucking horses and fucking it's nothing that anybody wants

but Duncan apparently is a multimillion he seems to be the king of the city when we meet him can I get something was it made with a lathe please

they just they just employ a bunch of shakers to do all the work and they're just working and back oh two turta doves made by people

who don't believe in electricity there's even a giant trampoline in the middle of the store that seems like an insurance risk. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, you're going to be on people's court, Mr. Duncan.

Don't worry about that. We're closed down after the accident. Who? Kirkadov. You know where you're not going to get those, man? This fucking Wally World. So what does he buy here? It's like a Godzilla head of some sort or something.

It's like silly soap because that's he ends up using it to make them slip. It's another fake toy that was actually. engineered after the fact. I was so on board for all that because I had I had the talk boy and I had the this slime. Did you give you like harm anyone gravely with either of those? Well, I can't talk about that because of the lawsuit, Eric. Still in litigation.

Come on, Eric. I got to be careful here. There's no statute of limitations on fucking murder, dude. I'll do whatever Joss Whedon did in that article, just that's what I'm doing. Like something happened Oh my God Yeah Like who knows

It was bad He came Wait so after his crimes He said there was He wrote an article That said something happened And just didn't elaborate Is it an interview?

Eric you have to read this Cause It's insane I'm behind it was this week No this was a while ago This was when they did the big Like reckoning Like passed the allegations thing

He comes back And there's part of this Fucking piece on him That is part in interview where the person who's writing it is like he bring up some fucking thing in his childhood where him and this kid went to a pool together away from all the other adults

from all their adults and then they found him and the kid was dead. What? He's just like, I don't know what happened. It just, he was like, he was Bush on fucking JFK assassination day. I don't know what happened. I don't know where I was.

Who knows? A lot of people were around. I don't know One day I'm at the town pool Me and my best friend Chip And I don't know I guess I blacked out for a while Woke up They're telling me Chip's dead

It's an incredible Wait this kid died a long time ago And he's just bringing us up Yeah it's when Josh Sweden was like a kid Yes Oh yeah it was a Liam Neeson situation Totally unprompted Well if kids killed

Just like here's what was it It was like a fucking What was it like Vanity Fair or something Variety or Hollywood But you know if a kid But if a kid kills another kid that's fair game. Yeah. If he was a kid, it's fine. Oh, the Cisco's rules?

Oh, yeah. I see. Okay. The kids can just kill you. What's, what's the limit on that, Eric, is 12 years old or what? 18. Wow. Okay. When you become a person, dude, when you become a person. I'm going to... Your honor, I object. No, no. No. Declining all future dinner and lunche invitation to your house. Are you over 18

that you got nothing? Well, I don't want to see any murders in your house, man. What I'm saying is a kid kills another kid. That seems to be like growing up to me. You know what I mean? Like the rough and tumble kids. I guess that is. I guess this is growing up. I'm not saying I'm fine

with kids being killed in my house. This is whatever you're interpreting. It's actually, Steve, you're right. This is what the Blinklyway to Tucson damn it was about. Yeah, absolutely kill your friend at a pool. Don't tell anybody about it. And it's legal. And it's totally legal because of the house rules of

your, of your friend's father. You're fine, dude. You're under 18. What are they going to, you know, what are they going to put you in a spec? Oh, it's, it's school, but it's worse because you sleep over. Yeah. Oh, God. You're a juvenile.

What do they have something like juvenile detention? Well, there's some hall they're going to put you in. But you could take a life and then once you turn, you know, of age, they let you out, and you're fine. That's true. So Kevin McAllister, you say. Thank you, Steve. Speaking of killer kids

He winds up He goes to Duncan's toy chest He buys the soap And he gets into a fucking He is chatting up this old guy I'm doing like yeah man Can you just wrap that please? Yeah please yep

Yep Exhibit old time Absolutely Like Mr. Bean and Love Actually taking Forever to check out Alan Rickman I love the gag of the

Sticky bandits here Hiding in the dollhouses And like They're sticking their face out Daniel Stern's got a great line here. He's like, it's something like, oh, great house. This isn't a bathroom in it, though,

which is fucking great. Because I'm picturing Marv. That means he's definitely pissed on the corner of this. Yeah, 100%. Coiled shit in that house. Oh, no one's going to buy this now, says Mr. Duncan. I do love the thing that they're, because they're sticking their faces out of like the windows of these dollhouses

or playhouses or whatever. And every time an adult walks by, they freeze. like is Joe Pesci and Daniels they're like freezing for just a quick second as like a lady walks. I also like that the whole Trojan horse aspect we're going to hang on the houses until after dark.

This is the exact same way that they tried to buy concert tickets on Save by the Bell one time by, uh, they went to the outdoors store there and hidden the tents. Yeah. Yeah. And did they hurt anyone?

They don't hurt anyone. Doesn't it end up being there? It's like a candid camera. show or something. That's one of the more bizarre episodes. Or am I mixing it up? Because there's also a Christmas mall episode where like

Santa Or like there's a girl who doesn't have a home and it's Santa's daughter. I don't remember. No, not like Santa's daughter but like the guy. The mall's Santa's daughter? Oh, I see. I don't remember. Sorry, saved by the belt

purists who are upset. No, I just remember the Bayside gang was trying to get concert tickets and they came up with a great idea. No, you're right. You're right. There's also a Christmas one, though, that is clouding my memories. Well, it's that time of the year for Christmas clouds. Exactly. So just keep school at home. Kevin spends $967 on room service, whatever the daily rate at the Plaza Hotel is.

20-something dollars on toys. He hears this fucking weepy story about kids in the children's hospital. He has 20 bucks. And Mr. fucking Mr. Duncan's like, oh, man. Oh, wow, what a fucking good boy. Fuck you, kid. It should at least be a hundo, dude. You've got it to spare. Do you know how I built all these toys with my hands?

There's no microchips in any of them. I built them from wood. All these toys that none of the little boys and girls want. And I can't figure out why. They keep saying, where's the Sega Genesis? I'll take a turtle dove or else I'll throw it out. because nobody wants it. Yes, you can,

oh, you can have a free toy. Yeah, select from the garbage bin over here. You know what? Perfect. The cancer kids, they complained about splinters in their hands. I'm going to make even Rufferwood this year. Maybe all the good toys sold out.

This is like, yeah, I'm donating everything we sell on Christmas Eve because there's nothing good left. I'll tell you, I don't know how business is going to be for at least for a day after a kid walks out your store and two strangers take him

and he starts screaming at the top of his That is fucking funny. That would I think clear out the business for a little while I think There's a great I love the gag right here where the sticky bandits like come out of the store

and they're like all right we got some time to kill before the big score tonight or whatever and Joe Pesci's like what do you want to do and Daniel Stern's like well you promised me you'd take me to the Central Park Zoo. Which is not worth your time. Like, if you're already there and you've got kids, fine, go.

But skip that. Brunk Zoo is better, but zoos are still just such a mess. And yeah, it's a real schlep from wherever you are. It's also, it's like a two-day thing. Oh, the Brog Zoo is a massive, yeah. Yeah. But for the most part,

I feel like Kevin does a good job of seeing a lot of the New York things. We don't get to see him go see a show. I mean, I guess, unless the Carnegie Hall concert concerts, I'd say. Which, yeah, it counts. I was looking to see what are some of the Broadway shows.

He could have gone to go see. And there was a Christmas carol starring Patrick Stewart that it just opened right around. Oh, Patrick Stewart on Broadway? Yeah. Would that young man in the audience please shut up?

Turn off your talk boy, God damn it. I can hear you bootlegging my performance. I'm going to slap you silly, you little perv. I look that up. And I was like, oh, mention that. They can do some stuff on Patrick Stewart.

This will shame some time off the clock. Give them the cue. Go, Patrick Stewart on Broadway. Wow, I would like to dedicate tonight's performance to Kevin McAllister, the little boy with the worst parents in America. Normally, we collect for Broadway cares around this time of year. It goes to things like AIDS research. But this year, we're collecting for Kevin McAllister,

the little boy who has no family. he gets more money Marvin Harry are like chasing him through the streets and they go through the back part of a theater and they go on stage during a thing and Patrick Stewart just close lines Marvin Harry accident

Love it By God Ebenezer Scroo's taking out the sticky bandits What a close line You're ruining my performance By the way Fuck that would be great Around this time in the movie we do have

check in with the rest of the family who are, could you imagine having to watch Spanish television? Uh-huh. I mean, because they watch it's a wonderful life in French and the first ones and now they're watching in Spanish.

Yeah, you guys watch it back to back so you picked up that knowledge. I totally forgot. And again, though, this is one of those things, Eric, where it's like, put a different fucking Christmas movie in. Like, I don't care if you use the same gag. Okay.

I mean, it's lazy, but at least changed the movie than they watch. I do want to point out that it doesn't rain like that in Florida in December. December is actually a fantastic time to go to Florida, so don't let this movie dissuade you. Are you with the tourists for? No,

but as a native Floridian, I you know, there's lots of Florida trash talk in this movie and in the world, and most of it is earned. The way it inspired you to go to New York has inspired me never to go to Florida. Which I can understand, and I

Don't argue with, but maybe in December, it's actually pretty beautiful then. But can I say, speaking of family vacations in December, in fucking Florida, this is proof that the family would take at least a year off from shenanigans because we did a family trip, multiple cousins, aunts and uncles, whatnot, did the whole Disney World thing. This is the, I've told the story a thousand times. We're in the fucking big red boat. That whole vacation. You saw Marvin the Martian with his head off.

Yep. Very weird. saw the performer with the costume head off. Bone chilling. Oh, bone chilling shit, dude, no doubt about it. But like after that, it was like, okay, we're never doing this again. And you

know what? We never did. And you know what else? That was like almost 30 years ago. Sounds about right, dude. We're not, we didn't take fucking 11 months off and we're like, you know what, let's try it again. Not a family full of fucking

pain pigs. No. But, I mean, it's so boring. It's just like, okay, well, there's been credit card activity, so we know he's in New York. We have to get you to New York. Meanwhile, there is a thrilling chase in which Kevin grabs some ladies' ass or just pinches it, I guess. Oh, well, that's after they snatch him up or whatever. There's the chase. He buys, like, a bunch of pearls or whatever from this dude on the street.

It's impressive that Kevin, who had presumably never been to New York before, as far as we know, if he's doing all this touristy shit, he's probably, this is his first time there. But he was like, ah, this is a cheap necklace. I can break this apart with my hands. Absolutely. This guy, I was, because I was, you know, we've seen this movie a thousand times. So I was kind of like just looking through the cast list on IMDB a lot and everything. This guy is selling the Pearl. an actor named Abdule Nagam been in a ton of stuff, but also previous episode, The Super

with Joe Pesci. And also he played a tourist, an African tourist in the film you guys all know and love just as much as I love it, the greasy strangler. So a guy that was in Home Alone, too, was in the greasy strangler. That's very weird to me. And it wasn't McCulley Coulkin.

And somehow, yeah, McCulley, and dodged being in the greasy strangler, which you would think, Steve, you're right. He'd be right at home doing something weird like that these days. Absolutely. He loves that stuff. Yeah, they grab an ass. It's kind of a funny thing where earlier in the movie, Marv kind of flirts with this lady

and she kind of like, you know, runs away or whatever. And this time she punches him and Joe Pesci right in the face. Which is a great, like, like she sees Daniel Stern and knocks his block off. And then McCauley Culkin's just like, No, he did it. And points to Joe Pesci.

Joe Pesci's got a great, like, what did I do? Before he gets knocked out. I think that was the same reaction he gave before he was beating a death in Casino. What did I do? Yeah. And then this run back, you know, he's confronted by Tim Curry with, what's the matter? The store wouldn't accept your stolen credit card. Oh, yeah, dude.

He is jerking off ready to fucking nail this kid. It's great. I do love earlier on when he gets the notification. that the credit card is stolen and they're doing a nice Kevin is in the limo watching the Grinch and Tim Curry just gives this crazy fucking Grinch smile

it's God damn it dude what a fucking treasure Tim Kri is it looks like he's like able to animation style like perfectly mimic the Grinch Grinch it's like a Jim Carrey as face rubberiness you know

Tim Curry doesn't get enough credit for this movie well I mean and he's the whole whole part of the this is he Kevin sneaks in and he gets to do his Tommy gun scene I love you

this is like a yeah it's like shut up and play the hits Kevin McAllister yeah yeah but it is to your Christmas point it is like Curry

brings a new element to it by doing I love you you're gonna have to do better than that get down on your knees Cliff. Oh, poor cliff, dude.

It's a lie. I love that guy's expression. It's a lie. Yeah, the smooching. Accusations of smooching. Smooching. Such a great word. We don't talk about smooching enough.

Definitely not enough smooching. Yeah. The British ruined it with snogging. Yes. What do they do over there? They snog. What is that like when you put your making out? It sounds like you put your nose in a crotch or something.

Well, yeah. supposed to sound like a pig, Eric. No, no, no, no. Eric, you're thinking a trout sniffer. It's the sound of a pig, Eric. They snog until they're, you know, they've worked up enough of an appetite to have some pudding and some potato in a boot. Is that? That's what you do, yes. Once you're done, snogging the slag, have your boot in the eel pie and the whole pudding thing.

Oh, and don't forget to bend down to open the door. That's where the doorknob is. You pie, crisps. This is all sounding like pig food. I'm sorry. The snogging just sounds so much like pig terminology. Cordell! Remember where you go to feed the pigs, put on the favorite movie,

hoar-old deluxe in New York. They're going to snog. They're going to snog Mr. Lecter. Well, you know, I apologize to the people of the UK. No, you don't. Stop it. I love every country. that's a lie. I love all the slang.

Not even a little bit. And the one thing, so he does do, you know, he plays the whole clip and the joke is at the end, there's the big Tommy gun thing. And, uh, I mean, Tim Curry sells the shit. There's someone a madman with a gun, you know, it's funny. But I mean, come on. You know, in the last movie, at least

you put it in, uh, you put firecrackers in a can. So then you could actually hear some like, you know what I mean? I thought that's what was going to happen with those firecrackers, which turned out to be always misremember. remember that he's using some firecrackers in the bathtub and this. And every time, I'm wrong. It would be, it's got to be like a hell of a sound system on that television.

Yeah, that 1992 hotel television has amazing sound. The great physical comedy here of all of them doing like the army crawl on the floor. And when you see Tim Curry like shuffle across the frame, he's like not moving his legs. God damn it, that's great. And it's a classic like New York thing too. like a, well, I should say a New York pop culture thing is like there's all this gunfire going off

and whatever. And all these people are just like sticking their heads out of the door like, hey, what's going on out of you? Not like panicking and slamming the door and running for safety. Because they're all like, someone's got their TV really loud. Exactly, exactly. They're all like, well, that's obviously on the television. Oh, here's the hotel staff. You finally

came up to address the loud television we're calling about. But this is where when we get Kevin McSallister outside and he's confronted by the garbage people of New York. Well, we, we, we, he, he stops really quick by Uncle Rob and Aunt Jorgett's place, uh, just to see,

just to set it up, because we are going to be coming back very soon. We get the, uh, we get the adie here, by the way, the address, uh, West 95th, West 95th street. So, dude, I mean, yeah, West 95th Street in Central Park West. Well done, Rob. You are dealing some guns to the fucking Saudis. Don't worry. Oh, yeah, baby. For the second home. For the second.

Well, actually, I think. At least second. But is, I think this might be the main residence and the Paris thing is like the Pietitare kind of situation. Sure. It's still a lot of real estate. No, no, no. He's disgusting. It's a lot of real estate. My point I was about to make was this motherfucker is running from, and I need to see this kid getting out of a car.

I'm sorry. He's running from the Plaza Hotel at 59th Street all the way up to 95th Street and Central Park West. get the fast little legs. You're no longer nine years old. You don't know what it's like to have that kind of energy. That's true. He might be able to burn that up. 40 blocks in 10 minutes.

Well, I mean, look, the guy has to do, the kid sees that, can't get in and then has to go, like, meet the feebles who are hanging out outside of Central Park. There's a guy that, like, crawls out of the garbage. It's like, watch it, kid. What do you want for me? And, like, he goes in, of course, yeah, the goblin fucking, uh, uh, cabby driver and he said much better in here kid i'm also scary i got skin problems actually you know who this guy reminded me of was uh steve you were telling that story one time about the cab driver

with the vaseline neck oh yeah totally that that's my vaseline neck when when you when you told that story i thought about this cab driver yes that sounds about right i mean i've had some rules but yeah but yes he's a goblin person um and well also So we skipped over. The sticky baddies do get him again, but the bird lady rescues him. And now he's, is this when the bird lady comes up again?

This is exactly what's happening. He meets the bird lady right here. He sees the garbage people. He runs into Central Park. He gets his foot stuck. And then the scariest garbage person of them all, the bird woman comes out. And what? What? She just, she fixes his leg.

It's like Jesus with the lion's paw or whatever. And he sees, he saw her earlier and he says, sick. And it's not like how you'll hear me be like, oh, I love that movie man, it was sick. No. He's like, that woman's disgusting.

I mean, she is, I mean, it's eventually, it's essentially the nice version of the penguin. Yes, totally. A genial penguin? She has control over these pigeons that I assume have been bringing her up since birth after her

parents left her in Central Park forever and ever. But no, she's very nice to him. They get along very quickly. I mean, this is the magical homeless person. So, like, of course, like, he's not vomiting from the smell. She's not saying anything too crazy. Like, it's just, like, a pretty normal little friendship.

And then they go and hang out at Carnegie Hall in Bill Cunningham's apartment, it looks like. Dude, thank you for mentioning Bill Cunningham. Rest in peace for one. But absolutely, there are actual apartments above Carnegie Hall that they, used to rent to artists and things of that nature. Famous New York photographer, Bill Cunningham, was one of those guys. If you ever see the Bill Cunningham documentary that I think Zykeyes put out several years ago, it's a really great New York story.

Real fucking character, man. Real interesting guy. Real beautiful person. Yeah, the interior of this is not Carnegie Hall. It's a Chicago concert hall. It's a Chicago concert hall. I love that they got what the guy, the conductor who's leading the orchestra looks exactly like John Williams though it's really great

just a delicious old older bald white guy with a beard looks awesome well this is the thing is we find out that this woman is a penguin is a pigeon person she's not a penguin person she's a pigeon person not because society let her down she did it because she closed her heart that's what happens every homeless person you see

made that decision to be that way that's true they probably had their heartbroken they want it a bad date. They live with the pigeons. It's not that poverty is the social problem that we need to address that housing is a human right that we don't treat the way it is.

Not at all. No. The pigeon lady is lucky that it's 1992 man. Because if it was 2002 that pigeon lady, she's getting thrown in jail. We're arresting these fucking homeless people, put them in hospitals and whatever this bullshit is.

Yeah, she does have a sweet little line though. that they'd prefer I wasn't part of their city, which is so true and horrible and sad. And this actress, I mean, she's apparently literally been called one of Ireland's greatest actresses. Like, she's incredible. Again, this movie benefits so well by the fact that the casting is just out of control with getting like the best possible people. She's really good in So I Married an Axe Murderer. Yes, she's the mother in that movie. phenomenal.

You're a wee sexy fucker. You know that? Oh, Anthony La Paglia. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. One of the few times in cinema, someone's getting horny for Anthony La Paglia. That movie holds up.

It's really a lot of folks. Hell yeah. She's also the foster mom or something. I think in angels in the outfield. Oh, did you clean behind your ears, dearie? Oh, yeah. But yeah, of course, it's a magical time. So it's just heartbreak that made her go homeless.

And but so he, goes out he's like it's nice to meet you I hope that the turtle dove I give you cures her homeless eventually I'm gonna go walk and I'm gonna go hang I'm gonna go see the cancer kids for a little bit wave at one of them

and that is going to be my impetus for building my HH. Home Murder house. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna wave at them and then I'm gonna go back to that old man Duncan's store and throw a brick through his yeah I did well and he only has three

hours to get the blue or the brownstone set up which doesn't seem like it's enough time but again I don't have the energy of 10 year old it's taking 90 minutes to get up there okay he went downtown two blocks he said fucking Carnegie Hall 57 the 7 all the way Carnegie Hall to get all the way up to to the upper 90s no you can't but you're oh you're forgetting he went through the same program as Gina Carrano and Haywire exactly he's got this total assassin you're right. And also why he throws a brick through the windows because he was

arguing Mr. Duncan that whole movie to get some Chicagoans up in that motherfucking wall. Okay? That's what he wanted with some Chicagoans on that motherfucking wall. Makes sense. Your favorite little hijinks master Kevin McAllister returns in Home Alone too. Do the right thing.

Oh, Kevin McAllister's a rich man. He's never going to have any problems again. Hell yeah. Oh, I love that fucking movie, man. It's good. Yeah. No, I mean, I just, I do like the idea of, because the Pigeon Lady puts us in his head, right?

She's like, you know, yada, yada. Like the holidays are all about doing something for others. A good deed erases a bad deed is what she says. That's right. Yeah, I don't know about that. What the fuck did you do in Ireland? Exactly. But that's what.

Yeah, you know, inspires him to do this, yeah. We do see the family arrive in New York and they get one of my favorite little lines, which is where she goes, what kind of idiots do you have working here? And they go, the finest in New York. That's awesome. I love, oh, man, John Hurd and Catherine O'Hare are fucking chewing this hotel staff out. John Hurd, like, raising his voice. Like, he's like, so when he's, his credit card was stolen, what did you do?

You scared him away? wait. Yes. I would have, pardon me, sir. Aren't you the guy that lost him twice in two years? Let's lower our voices. That's my wife. My wife did that part. Catherine O'Hara also slaps Tim Curry

across the face, which is great. Very nice. Again, the physical comedy from Tim Curry, the way his face quivers after it is, hmm, he's so great. He is. This movie's fantastic. Thank you. We love movies.

You might be talking me into it now. I'm where I am. Yeah, yeah. The magic of New York. So he makes his plan. This is what he starts doing. Another Christmas in the trenches. Dude, there is so much gasoline fire in this in his second time around.

Dude, he's escalated. He's escalating, definitely. Yeah. Thank God, Home Alone three restarts or whatever. Totally. If it was Kevin McAllisker. or Kevin McAllister continuing to escalate. My God.

Well, it's funny. With the escalation, though, because in that most recent movie where it's like some little snot-nosed British kid or whatever, it's fucking horrible. It's the kid from Jojo Rabbit. But yes.

But what? I was going to say, I think the biggest problem with the most recent one is that the bad guys aren't bad guys. Yes, they're hard up parents. Right. Who, once they understand he's home alone, they're like, oh, sweetie,

but you never want to, like, come on. I'm not home alone. It's fucking sickening. You can't have villains anymore. It's too scary. No, I love that these are like actual criminals who are like, I'm going to shoot this child. Chelsea, that's the new character edition.

Not just Tim Curry and Dana Ivy and Rob Schneider. No, Joe Pesci's good. He keeps talking about it and then you see it at the end. Like, isn't the first one. you know, I'm going to get you, you little I'm going to eat your fingers. Now he's like, I'm just going to shoot you with the gun

that I have on me. Like, well, cannibalism is going to take too long because I'll just shoot him in the head. The thing I was bringing up the most recent movie in this franchise for is because, oh, so they continue, like we mentioned before,

Buzz is in that movie. Noted piece of shit, Devin Rat Ray comes back to play. Buzz. And what they do there, there's a little detail. It's like Buzz works for McAllister Home Securities. No, isn't Buzz a cop? Or Kevin doesn't? Okay. Maybe that's what it. Buzz is a cop. And he says like, oh, and my little brother Kevin runs McAllister Home Securities, which is like a ha ha ha for a second. But if you really dig into it, I think he's developing this business so he can get into the houses. It's just like Joe Pesci dressing up like the cop.

So somewhere in this cinematic universe, Kevin McAllis, who's a crooked fuck back in Illinois. You know, I know McCauley Culkin has wanted to sort of go. He was leading the charge to sort of say, let's get the former president out of the second movie. I'll film a cameo and it's adult Macaulay Culkin talking to child,

McCauley Culkin. What we need is adult McCauley Culkin sort of being Kevin the criminal. And now he's show peshing, like you said, and trying to case these houses in Winnetka and trying to, ooh, that's a better home alone. Well, there was, um, somewhere, there's, and it's, it's, it's a web series, so it's not real. Oh, it's less than not real. It's less than real. It's a dream. But, uh, there's what you said on your podcast, right? Well done.

All right. Just checking. Sorry. But, uh, I love the show. I'm sure you do. I do. I do. But there was a thing where it's like Kevin and McCullough of Cullin plays Kevin in this thing. And whatever the guy is doing this web series is with him for some reason. And it's like a, they catch a burglar and he brings him back to the house.

And Kevin like tortures and kills him or something like that. And the end of the sketch is like McCauley Calkin covered in blood doing the scream again. Nice. So like it's already been out there. It's already been put into the world. But we could make that movie if we wanted to. Do it, Hollywood, please. Christmas horror, dude, it's hot again.

It is. But I think, I mean, he's happy doing that one shot, that one scene in righteous gemstones and then never doing anything again, I think. Well, he doesn't need to, man. He's loaded and he, you know, lived through all the troubles. So he's just like a decent dude that lives in New York somewhere with his wife and kid, like, you know. He's got very good memory. He's got memories of almost killing Daniel Stern in front of his house with these bricks, which, by the way, first brick to your forehead, you're gone. Like, that's just the end of your life right there.

He also doesn't remember what happened with Michael Jackson. This is just so. Memory is a little sick. My notes towards the end are just which of these actions would kill Daniel Stern or Al-Hashy. Well, because that's the thing, dude. Almost all. Yeah, like, I think there's like 10% of them they could have survived.

But that's a small amount. In the first one, you know, it's all these traps and pranks and you slip it on micro machines, step it on Christmas tournaments. He's just throwing bricks. people of this. That is not clever, nor is it silly. It's just fucking throw it a brick at somebody. They are multiple times falling like three stories. Yeah, at least.

There's a, there's a fabulous joke at the start of all of this. Because the first bit of like physical assault here is when he is something, something outside the toy store and Joe Pesci, oh, Joe Pesci standing on one board, Daniel Stern steps on the other. part of it and launches him or whatever and Joe Pesci's like laying on the ground like totally wiped out. Daniel Stern's just like, oh, you're all right, Harry? Oh, geez, yeah. I think I twisted my ankle on that board back there. Joe Pesci's just laying dead in the street. Twisted my ankle, he says. Oh, it's awesome. I mean, from that alone, you would need fucking Nick Cage and Ving Rames in

the ambulance taking him somewhere to stop because he's already like Joe Pesci out of it. So this is now Marv only and he's going to be clobbered to death with loose bricks before he even walks, before he even gets shot in the dick. Yeah. Oh yeah. And like, you know, something Chelsea, you mentioned it a second ago, but

like speaking to this movie and like shit, we don't do anymore, I mean, how great is it that Daniel Stern, like when they decided to go into the house, he just goes, let's kill. Yeah. Like, fuck yeah. And you know what? That's fucking hilarious. And I saw it as a kid in 1992, and I didn't grow up

to be a serial killer or nothing. There's a lot that's wrong with me, but I don't think Home Alone 2 is responsible for any of it. Of course so. Don't put that. Again, like I said, Home Alone 2, brought me to all of you. There you go. I think about it in terms of like, I have to fucking endlessly see, because he's

filming it right now, I think. These Instagram posts from Dwayne Johnson, where he's just like, here we are filming our new, what he keeps calling Christmas franchise movie. You know what I mean? And I'm just like, Like, I'm sure that thing's got fucking no scrote to it whatsoever. Of course.

Just the safest baby shit. Yeah. Did any of you guys watch Spirited, though, Will Ferrell and Ryan Reynolds one? No, was that all right? I thought it wasn't bad. There's a couple of decent laughs. There's a better movie in there somewhere that if they had had a better writer and a better director would have emerged, but.

It's a weird thing where, like, at the same time, I'm so still just fucking. and tired of Ryan Reynolds overexposure, but on the same note, it was weird because in this movie where it's Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Reynoldsing all over the place, I was like, shit, man, I haven't seen Will Ferrell in a movie in a while. But he's also not

Ryan Reynoldsing the same way that he does. True. Yeah, that's fair. I'm someone who's been a Ryan Reynolds apologist with zero evidence to back it up other than that buried movie that I think he's really good in. But otherwise, like, I've always really liked Ryan Reynolds, but not

actually ever liked Ryan Reynolds. But I feel like what I see is what happens in Spirited. Yeah. Yeah, it's fair. I mean, it's not great, but it's definitely worth it. But it still does not have the teeth of the early 90s home-alone sequel. But it's at least of Christmas movies I've seen made in, you know, it's the closest I've seen in a while. Does Ryan Reynolds say, let's kill a kid in it?

He doesn't. So again, it's not quite there, but it's close. It's closer. I don't know. I didn't hate it. Part of the worst part about it is that the music is done by the guys who did Dear Evan Hanson and the greatest showmen. And they are the worst composers.

Horrendous songs. I think they're just terrible songwriters. Anyway, that's not this movie. They like, I just don't understand what the, what do you call it there? The wet bandits are like, aside from revenge, they're like, oh no, he's got our picture. I'm like, dude, you're on the run from the law as it is. You stole from a toy store. You probably have $4,000.

Just leave. Just leave. You know what I mean? It's not like, this is not Ocean's 11 stealing from the vault. You don't have millions of dollars. This is like, you know, this is going to, you can get as far as Philadelphia with that money.

Right. It was supposed to get them enough to like get them plane tickets. It's not like now we're set forever. No, not at all. Walking away from the Belizeo. Yeah. To the DeBerset. We need the fun and games.

So we have to slide across the ground and hit this fucking paint. canister shelf. We've got to try to, wow, what a hole. Catch this on fire and staple this and all of those things. Joe Pesci being set on fire again, right? Yes. The first movie? Yes.

Yeah. Yeah, he gets set on fire. And then he dumps his head, which is on fire, into a toilet full of kerosene. This is where he is now dead, obviously. Right. Big tire. Oh, Bader. They even fall off the fucking roof. But even if even if somehow they're surviving this, which I don't think is possible,

on the Upper West Side, you're telling me none of these neighbors are calling the cops and being like, there's too much noise. Then not in my backyard, Upper West Side is letting this go. No way. They'd call the cops on a halal cart out there.

Exactly, dude, exactly. It would be like the ending of fucking a Spider-Man movie where New York on the Upper West Side would come together to destroy the wet bandits for all the. the noise. You mess with one of us.

You mess with all of us, actually. That's right. Now I'm going to get my doorman to go call the cops on it. God damn it. The McAllis must have rented their stuff up to some Columbia kids. Uh-oh, Muffy, college students moved in. Oh, they're electrocuting themselves over there like they do nowadays. Hold on.

Who's that tall gentleman over there with the curly? Yeah, he's Jewish. Call the cops. Call the cops right now. Colicombs right now. I do love in this movie they confirm that Marv is indeed Jewish. Yeah, happy Hanukkah Marv.

Yeah, totally. It's pretty fucking great. Yeah, I mean, we're just fucking beat the shit out of these dudes. We get the paint cans. We get the... I mean, how did Kevin get this, like, I don't even know, this fucking steel fitters pipe on these ropes. I don't get how that worked out.

Because that's, I mean, that's like your... Oh, it's being renovated. So, like, any old piece of metal material How did he get it up there? Did the bird lady show up and help out? Exactly. Was it already tied up or something? I don't know very much about renovating.

Maybe, I mean, I watch a lot of HGTV shows and they're never showing. Here's when we tie things to ropes so that you could swing them at burglars. That never comes up on those shows. I love him, Daniel Stern getting electrocuted in the basement. Yeah. And he turns into the scalp and he looks like the fucking Jerry Garcia puppet from the touch a gray video. Well, they're all like skeleton puppets in that video. But like

it is, man, just putting a skeleton in a movie. I mean, it just, that's an extra half star. I'm sorry. Just a little electrocution skeleton gag. It is beautiful. It's great. I love it. I mean, if Rob McAllister is the arms dealer that I believe him

to be, there's entirely, it's entirely possible that the only thing that Kevin really put in was the hole because all this might just be stuff to get the feds. If the feds happened to fucking come and get in there. The big fight. Oh, my God. Uncle Rob has a lot of toys here.

Wow. Yeah, dude, he's got his house wired in case they come for the Lord of War. He's got that electric thing in the basement. That's supposed to go on the nipples. Oh, you hooked that up to the sink, did you? It's supposed to be for your tits. You know what? That's innovation, Kevin. I'm going to have to put you on my payroll.

Have you ever been to the actual Columbia? I think one of my favorite gags here towards the end of all those shenanigans is they wind up in a position reversal so Kevin is out on the street and the two guys are up on the roof and Daniel Stern once again is revenge and toss a brick down at Kevin and he just goes

suck brick and I'd love to throw a brick in a kid. Oh my God I would adore doing this. Yeah this is when they go down the pipe with the rope with Kyrus scene, they fall over and they chase him into the park. We get another because this is

it's plug and play. Kids are scared of the park because he said kids are scared of the dark in the last movie. Yep. You got to hit all those beats ladies and gentlemen. But the funny thing is Steve, I think with that one that didn't catch on till home video. Yeah, sure. That little Easter

egg, you know, after like kids put it on like four or five times, they're like, oh, oh yeah, because we just watched the first one right before this. Oh, yeah, scared of the dark scared of the park. Oh, okay. Well, they might have... Didn't notice that in the theater three years ago. They mixed up the scripts and they accidentally made the first movie again, I think.

It's it. Oh, Boosey Daisy. So Joe Pache... We did it again! There had been a third one instead of pigeons. It would have been larks and it'd be... Kids are scared of the lions. Just keep naming, you know, rhyming things. Kids aren't scared of the starks. I don't know.

Oh, shit. Yeah, then he's just running from Iron Man. Yeah. Oh, no. No! Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern have him and they're about to put him under like the water in Central Park until

the pigeon lady, bird lady comes out and says my baby! They all flock and they just take out Marvin there. It is fun dumping them with the bird seed or whatever because they're already

so gooey from the calamities they've faced. Yeah, they're like covered in like wood varnish or something. I would love to fucking Harry gets a few of these pigeons with that gun. Oh, yes, please. It's like two or three. Feather explosion. And it's scattered, dude. Birdseater, no, you start fired a gutted a bunch of pigeons and then they'll fucking fly away.

The actors would have preferred it. I know that Daniel Stern particularly said that at least one of the pigeons got into his mouth. I might prefer most of the things that Kevin does at the Brownstone. to getting all those New York City pigeons are me no thank you I might take a paint can to the head instead That's actually one of the weirdest parts of the movie is like whenever it is he's like having his first like meet cute with the pigeon lady And he's like how do you get him to come to you or whatever and she throws the seed and it's supposed to be like the John Williams score like totally rises right here and it's supposed to be this magical moment and I was like This is one of the most disgusting

I mean this is disgusting I don't mind pigeons I mean I'm not gonna eat it I don't want them to run into my mouth, but they're fun. No way. I mean, this movie has a lot of New York magic to me, but none of the pigeon stuff lands. Let's stick this through. Harry's got a gun with six bullets in it. You fire two at these pigeons.

They scatter. You get two more for the pigeon lady. You still got two for Kevin. Yes. At very least, the pigeon lady should be totally lit up. Or listen, if Kevin runs away, one for Marvin, one for you, you want to do life in prison. Absolutely not

That's a really good point The pigeon lady might also have a gun Who knows? Oh, she probably would You know? Ma, if you want to do suicide by cop They just start waving it at these Because that's what happens

That is how it stops the pigeons Is one of the cops fires his gun into the air That is actually true That's right You can't fire the gun really Because his hands are too greasy At one point I think that is addressed

But they're being eaten by these pigeons Kevin sets off those fireworks And runs away And the cops come because the cops will respond to fireworks, but not murder. Gunfire, well, that's just Christmas Eve. Well, Ed, Barb is very looking for, I mean, because they must be going to, like, the jail from, like, Muppets take Manhattan or something. Like, they are, like, he's like, oh, we missed the gift transfer.

Oh, no, it's not like I'm going to get beaten unmerciful in the minute I get back in there. That is a fun. Oh, hey now. Merry Christmas. But that is a funny thing that I've always laughed at this movie. He assumes he's just going back to the jail that he broke out of. Like, probably not. I missed the gift exchange. Which is also weird because we're told at one point in the movie, they only spent nine months in prison.

So they never had a Christmas in jail. Maybe they just heard about how great it was. Oh, there was flyers up in the rec room and whatnot. Or just talk, you know. Yeah, sure. He was really hoping that Sausage Claus was going to come in a present. And at least then, though, because Sausage Claus comes on the 26th. That's right.

That's true. They could still meet sausage clause in jail. I could use some sausage magic this week. Catherine O'Hara finds him at the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree because the cop tells her, what would your kid do? oh he loves Christmas trees so that's where he would go and like there you go that's no he's at the fucking video game store I would think that's a trauma if your kid is now after being abandoned at fucking Christmas is now obsessed with Christmas trees yeah I'd be like that's a problem

that should probably be we worked out but hey it worked that's the plot of Christmas evil yeah there you have a lot of therapy after these movies oh my go family oh yeah every single Again, dissolve that fucking family. Well, apparently they do. Well, hey, hey, look, do you need family or can it be all this be fixed by a bunch of toys from Duncan's woodworking house? Who reads a note that says, hey, old bastard, I fucking broke your window. And his heart warms to this.

And he sends a countless amount of presence to the McAllisters. I hope he got insurance. How do we have so many siblings? Like, are these all for Kevin? It's very bizarre. Maybe he called ahead. Oh, I have the note. It says, Hey, you old fuck, I broke your window. If you're still sore about it, about the Plaza Hotel Suite 415.

It's Antifa. Antifa's breaking windows. Duncan's toy chest was looted. Duncan's toy chest, the best buy. They've all been ruined. They've disrespected the Starbucks and it won't continue. I'm the law and order president. I've been cut out of every episode. I would not take this kind of violence against a Chucky cheese ever again.

Oh, yeah. I love Dunkin. I love Dunkin so much. You could get a, what was this, a homemade checkerboard? A little figurine that rides a bicycle, I guess. Yes, I understand a Nazi ran over that lady in a rally. Big whoop. That window was broken and a store is ruined. That is retail you're talking about. When you see like Christmas morning and it's like, like this whole, like all the kids like sleep in this room. You know this whole thing smells like shit. Oh. There's all these disgusting kids just sleep in one over another like a pack of dogs.

It smells like fucking shit. And then like there's a milky odor too maybe. And Fuller's got the entire bed to himself because he's just peeing everywhere. Yeah. Absolutely. He's ruling over water world right there. I need them to have a talking like cloud of farts that are like, hovering over these children because they're not they've just been flying twice they've just

been fucking they've been eating they've been eating a drinking Coca-Cola they are farting and shit and all over the place that's all kids just permeate just fart and shit just oozing it all time everywhere they go and like of course uh at the last minute Kevin's like no you know what I have to give a a little tree toy to my friend the pigeon lady and she is going to remember me forever. It's called an ornament, by the way. No, it's a tree toy. Thank you.

Not even a full tree toy. Chubaka and his family celebrated Life Day by decorating the tree with tree toys. I mean, he must have reached into his little fucking rich pocket, moved around through $50 bills, and reached out to get that turtle dove. Half, not even a full tree toy.

Half a tree toy. Exactly. To this lady who, like, you, he's like, I'll never forget you, except for the minute I get back home and then I will. But that's the point of the tree toy, dude. He keeps one and gives one to her because they're friends for life. Uh-huh. Well, her life's going to be substantially shorter than his.

Yeah, she's got a few months maybe. Hey, on your deathbed, could you mail me back that turtle dove tree toy? I don't understand how he gets, like, how are you not watching him like off? I mean, how are you not watching him like a hawk after the first movie is what we were talking about in the first part of the episode? But then again, the fact that he sneaks out goes to the park while you're open.

Keep an eye on. We need to talk about Kevin. And we need to be watching cats. Instead, we're getting mad about the goddamn room service bill, which all things considered is not too terrible. It's not good, but... You're getting that palace suite for free.

You're averting a media fucking meltdown about you and your parenting. I would hope you would take that as a blessing because I don't know the next day the cameras might show up and your shit might be really fucking. That's right. Yeah, totally. Dude. Like, oh yeah, you're this loving father. But we have confirmed reports from several guests at the hotel that you were screaming at your son about a room service bill. Yeah. You know, we heard all this talk about taking off a belt. We don't like that. We don't like that at all, McAllister. You know what? So you know what? You fucking eat it. But yeah, that's how the movie ends is. is him being yelled at for eating while he was abandoned which is great. I suppose that is how this is always going to end is something like that. Yep. I love

the expectation of like oh our little child is in the city all by himself and he wasn't frugal enough with the he should have been eating a single sparrow slice a day and maybe a kid

size fountain soda but that's it. Listen, listen, listen. Kevin, would it be so hard for you to go to a Gristetti's and just, you know, get a couple of some cold cuts, maybe? Is that hard? Bring the fucking, yeah, some groceries back to the hotel. Buy a jar of peanut butter, you know, and some bread. Yeah. Just keep the bills down.

That's easy. But yeah, that is the end of Home Alone 2 column Lost in New York. We'll go around here with final thoughts and recommendations. And starting with our guest this week, Chelsea? You know, I can't necessarily say that I recommend it, but there. This movie is always going to hold a special spot in my heart. It's what made me fall in love with the city that I still love so much that led me to the people I love, you know.

So if you're me in 1992 seeing it, yes, I highly recommend it because otherwise your life is going to go very differently. But otherwise, I don't know. I can't say that I think that it works for everyone, but it worked for me and I love it. And I'm going to rewatch it, and I'm going to fall in love with New York at Christmas time over and over again. Steve Say that. Yeah, I, you know, I watch the original home alone probably about once a year around Christmas. This one's like at every five years.

I think that's about the right rotation, maybe even every decade at this point. Because it's, it is really redundant if you've got the other one right handy. And the other one's a little sharper, a little darker, et cetera, et cetera. I do. but it's some of these jokes really work it's definitely I can see the affection for it not just you other people that I know as well

I can see it it just even as a kid I was never super crazy about this movie so it's like it's a light recommend for a Christmas while you're rapid presence kind of a situation Steve can I ask you this when the movie came out was there anything because you're the only native New Yorker of the gang here

was there any like oh man the new home alone's coming out and it's set in our city No, I didn't feel that. You know, just being in the Bronx is so different than being in New York City. It just sounds weird, but it is. It always is like, oh, he's in the city, which seemed even kind of far away from me.

Right, yeah, yeah, sure. Yeah, no, that makes sense. I was just curious. And I do want to say that, like, the New York that is of this movie is obviously, like, a fictional best version, Christmas version, that is not real New York. So I understand that, why it wouldn't have appealed

to Native New Yorkers who would actually have been here. Yeah. Although, man, I'll tell you, the city at Christmas, magical time. It is. It is. But also a pain in the ass. So, in ways that the movie doesn't get into. Speaking of pains in the ass, Eric's sister. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. No, it's true. You know what? I was like, I'm going to say that. And then it's either Chris or Eric, the joke will be the same. Well, I was going to say, yeah, New York City during Christmas. Oh, my God. Awful. My God. You walk down anywhere in this city. Too many fucking people looking at a goddamn tree that's not even from here. Oh, Sacks 5th Avenue's got something in the window. Shut up. The last time you were here was Santa Con, though, so.

It seems like it's always some stupid fucking thing in this city, isn't it? It's always been Santa Con. There's always been Santa Con. And the tree this year is from upstate New York, at least. That's true. Usually is, I think, right? Usually Vermont, I think. Oh, okay.

I remember one year it was from Suffren, New York, and I thought it was like, oh, my goodness. Look at that. That's not too far away. Isn't that a wonderful thing? anyway I guess it's sort of a light recommend I see why people like it I don't really

like it like it I feel like the way that Steve says once every five years for me I haven't seen this since the 90s probably I'm not a huge home alone head

I do think that first movie is superior and we're kind of just like repeating it a little bit here which is fine but I kind of wanted more from it like if maybe more Tim Curry maybe leave the sticky bandits

out of it. I know that would mean diminishing ticket sales, but it would have at least felt narratively a direction. Totally. And the other beloved pain in the ass, Chris Gavin. Hello. I mean,

it is a light recommend. It's not a good movie, but I do want to echo what both Steve and Eric were talking about. I think the first ones almost a real movie, maybe even a real movie. The second one, it's not a real movie, but

there's big laughs. Like, real laughs. Real serious laughs. And the first one, I don't even think I ever really gave a hoop the way I did in this movie. Like, I was blaring during this, in some of the Daniel Stern stuff. So I kind of have to recommend it for that. Also,

for another reason, the Twin Towers have very looked so good. no you're right there's two shots of the twin towers and they look phenomenal and I really do think since we do lose these shots so quickly on cable because of the tragedies

I think it's nice to see this was before that happened and they were just like here it's look how huge these fucking things are this was before that happened it was just a little yeah they're still there in this shot yeah yeah this and man on

wire are both really good looks at the buildings. Also loose change little documentary. I'm kidding. Good one. It's a good one. Great footage of that. I think you're totally right, Chris. The shot of him walking up and he's on the ground

floor on the street, you know, they're there and then the big it's a copter shot of him takes his little Polaroid and the camera pulls away. It's glorious. They were beautiful structures and that's why I think removing shit like that, it's fucking bullshit. And like I guess

you know, sure, in the immediate aftermath, I guess. But the fact that they didn't put that shit back in until 2018, give me a break. Like, never forget. Well, never forget they were in fucking movies, man. You know what I mean? They weren't editing the fucking intro to the critic. I mean, you know, come on. I want to see some of that kind of branding on delis and pizza places.

Let's get the scenes back in Home Alone, too. Never forget Home Alone, too. That seems like the beggar one. Never forget. I mean, that's where I kind of stand. is like, you know, it's a big nostalgia thing for me. I know that, you know. I've seen this movie a thousand times.

I do think it's rip-roaring funny, though. There are a lot of jokes in that script. It was written by John Hughes, may rest in peace. But, like, you know, dude could write a good joke. Yes, is it a carbon copy of the first movie? Almost absolutely in every beaten way possible. But, you know, I think also a little leniency I'm giving because it's a Christmas movie,

and I don't expect those to be master. pieces. I expect to laugh and get in the Christmas spirit, whatever. And so yeah, we do watch this movie every year in this house. That's okay. Yeah. You'd have never met me if I were for this. Precisely. So I'm always indebted to this movie

in multiple ways. But that is going to do it for our discussion on Chris Columbus's Home Alone 2, Lost in New York. If you want more, we hate movies, of course, head on over to patreon.com slash we hate movies where not a Christmas motion picture, but a we love movies episode all about James

Cameron's True Lies is on there, along with some other Christmas treats. We got a once and a lifetime on, what are we doing Chris Cabin? Oh, we're going to be doing a Christmas Prince, which apparently is a movie that you people like, and I need to discuss this with you, but yeah, it's a

staple in the jupe and household, sorry. It is a nightmare to sit through. Oh, it's a real shit fest, but yeah, we will be putting that up very soon, or it might be up by now. It's probably up by now. Probably up by now. And Steve, over on AD, we have the origin of Elf on the shelf. That's right.

The surveillance state was born here. It's part of the Patriot Act, I think, Alf on the shelf. Yes, exactly. We haven't recorded it yet, but I'm pretty sure it's going to be a wild one. I can't even imagine what this thing looks like, but it is on Netflix to watch as well if you want to watch along.

Yeah. So we got that going. What are we gleeping about this one there? We are gleeping about Zam Weasel, a assassin briefly seen an attack of the clones. But if you know, it's just, you know, it's a small entry, but if you subscribe, you unlock everything we've ever done. You can get

all those Gleap Glossaries. Last month we did Chewbacca. And that was a great episode. Chubbacca Gleep Clop is one for the ages. It's an all time. Did you like the soundboard, Chelsea? I love the soundboard. Oh, don't encourage him.

Please never put me on the soundboard, but I love the soundboard. Thank you, Steve. I don't, I think it's, I think it's going to stay. Yeah. You know, great. I'm so excited And speaking of Chris Columbus movies A shittier Chris Columbus movie

We have recorded a single Commentary for all about All over I should say Harry Potter in the Chamber of a Seagance The second and worst Harry Potter movie That'll be coming out a bit closer To Christmas time Because that's sort of a Christmas time's movie

At least for part of it But man fuck that movie Two hours and 40 minutes Are we still watching it? I think are we still It's still happening right now. We're still recording. It's still happening.

God damn it. That's exactly right. But here on the main feed, of course, the show continues. I mean, we should say this is our last episode of 2022. But 2023 is right around the corner. Steve Sadek. What are we doing for our first episode of the worst of the previous year month? I mean, there's no other way to start it.

I would say lock your doors, you know, check out outside, make sure. Because the moon, it's fallen. It's fallen. It's fallen. I hate when that happens. I know, dude. Does somebody say I hate when that happens in the movie? That would be great.

How many people at this time have seen the movie Moonfall? Not me. Oh, yeah. Oh, I have. We almost watched it, but then it was 9-11, and we were like, we shouldn't watch it yesterday. I forgot about that. Speaking about never forget.

Jesus, great. Yeah, totally. I couldn't believe it. But yeah, next week, Moonfall, I'm so excited to see this movie. It sounds absolutely ridiculous. and that is going to kick off just a slew of the worst

of the worst previous year months so we're very excited about that. Chelsea, we were very excited to have you back on the program. You got anything to plug on your way out the door here? I couldn't have been happier to be here for this We Love Movies episode about the alone too. Thank you so much.

Happy about it. I will say to any listeners who are fan of trivia podcasts, if you listen to the Great American Pop Culture Quiz Show podcast, fourth episode of the eighth season, and I don't know exactly

when it is that comes out. It'll be after this comes out, though. But there might be a voice that sounds like the voice that you're listening to right now as a competitor on that episode, maybe. There we go. And we won't reveal what happened. No. No. You don't have to listen

and find out. No spoilers. No spoilers. But that is going to do it. Thank you so much for another year. You're welcome. Shut up, not you. The listeners. Thank you. As a listener, thank you all for a great year. Thanks, Chelsea. Thanks, everybody for tuning in. Another great year potting with no end in sight. And we're very stoked to get into some of the worst movies of this year because there's been some real newsies, man. So until next year, when we kick things off with Moonfall, I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Siddak. Eric, Cisca. Chris Cabin. Chelsea Jupin. Take it easy.

That was a hit-gum.