We Hate Movies - S13 Ep658: R.I.P.D.

Episode Date: February 7, 2023

On this episode, the guys are chatting about an absolute duketastrophe of a comic book adaptation, R.I.P.D.! What kind of a deal did Ryan Reynolds make with The Devil? Is this proof that Jeff Bridges can be a delight in anything? How hard was this thing trying to be Men in Black? And wow, how horrendous is all the CGI here? Woof. PLUS: After the success of Barbarian, can Richard Brake go to a hardware store anymore?  R.I.P.D. stars Jeff Bridges, Ryan Reynolds, Kevin Bacon, Mary-Louise Parker, Stephanie Szostak, Marisa Miller, Devin Ratray, Mike O’Malley, and Hollywood legend, James Hong as… Nick’s Avatar; directed by Robert Schwentke. For more Jeff Bridges chatter, be sure you’re subscribed to the WHM Patreon to access this month’s WLM on The Big Lebowski, along with hours and hours of exclusive bonus content. Check out the WHM Merch Store featuring new Love & Thunder, Demono’s Pizza, SW Crispy Critters, MINGO! designs! Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the program, we've been waiting to talk about this one for a deado decade. It's our IPD. I'm Andrew Deddo. You're 70 Sam Shadegh. Eric Siska Department. Chris Cabin. And we hate movies. Hello, Hello, everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies.

Thank you for tuning in. As always, that's right. We've been wanting to do this one since it fucking came out. and we didn't think the show would be around when it happened. We really did not. This is RIPD from 2013, directed by Robert Schentke. It is kind of depressing that some of this stuff is it. It's 10th. Absolutely. Totally regular, regular, 10 year rule.

Totally fine. New listeners won't know this, but this is how depressing this is. We started this podcast, this very own show you're listening to. Three years later, this movie comes out. We have the 10-year rule. I don't even think we started doing the. worst of the year before yet. No, that was, that was much more.

So we still had that 10-year rule and we're like, I'm going to be like, you know, living a life, having a family. I'll never, well, the podcast, that's not going to happen. I at least thought I would have gotten rid of the pubic life by that point.

Really? Yeah. So what are they doing down there? It's good to set goals even when you don't meet them. That's always nice. You just keep coming back. Yeah, just keep clapping me. This is a line where it's like, Oh, you think you get, you get a ball, but you forget about the eggs. Now, you got to, like, shave down there because you got like this, this burrow or whatever that they're, they're like crawling up.

Yeah, I call it the sixth borough. That's correct. Seiduck Island. I don't have pubic license. Oh, yeah. All right. Sure you don't. Robert Schwentick, by the way, you got to get a load of this.

He of read. It's, it's almost, it's almost as if there. This dude solely directs English language feature films that we can do episodes on. Flight plan? Terrible. Time Traveler's wife. My wife told me it was terrible. Red.

Terrible. Divergent series, insurgent and allegiance. Terrible. And snake eyes. G. I. Joe Origins. You know, it said we missed that for worst of whenever that was.

Now in nine years, I can't believe we're doing fucking snake eyes. Well, actually, you know what? We're recording this before the drawing. So maybe listener request month. Someone out of the foresight, the fucking decency to request that movie. Get another Schencki in here. It is, I mean, this is just disgusting that Germany has fell in this far. That this is what you're offering to us, really.

It's the country of Fospender fucking dead. This is a, Jesus Christ. This is a German fellow. This is a German fellow. Yeah, man. Put that wall back up. Keep some of them in there, you know? I mean, obviously there's too many.

You know, I'll just put it out there. there, man. If the wall didn't come down, maybe this movie wouldn't have been made. Yeah, what the fuck? Did the Kaiser survive? Somehow, the Kaiser returned. And he's got an even pointier hat. What are you going to ask? Eric? I'm sorry. Yeah, see? Now you're, is someone, I heard someone or it was on chat recently or something,

you know, what with, we're weekly live streaming now on our YouTube channel, YouTube.com slash we ate movies. I forgot something, which I'm known to do. My attention span, not great, probably an undiagnosed something or other. Yeah, I was going to point that out, actually. Yeah, totally. But someone in the chat was, I forgot something.

And they were like, oh, classic jupe with that fat idiot. So now, dude, now you know what it's like, Eric, you feel like a total moron. Did they actually say fat idiot? Or is this you, are you editorializing? You're right. You know what, Chris Cabin? When you write, you're right. Andrew forgot.

I'm pretty sure that's what. No, it was a classic and. Drew. That's where it's stopped. It's kind of hard to like even like with us when we get started, get going. We're going. We're going. It's like you know, there's ninja stars being thrown around. It's like what was I going to say? You know, like we're, we've already moved on

and we're trying to save the princess. I mean, Eric, it's true. It's like we get ahead of ourselves a little bit. Much like the movie RAPD, much like Uncharted, has the confidence to say my centerpiece must be at the front of my movie. Oh, yep. To interest people. and here's this big, fat, fucking warped running at you.

Is this stupidest fucking shit in the world? Is this like Free Guy? The Free guy kind of did this too, right? Well, I was about to say something with Uncharted, I think in that episode, I say something about when they freeze-framed, I expected him to be like,

you probably wondering how I got it! Or whatever, right? But we get it. It doesn't do it. But in this movie, you hear fucking Ryan Reynolds in this voiceover, which never comes back. No. You think you.

you've had a bad day at work, suck my fucking balls with that shit. You've had a bad day? Yeah, I was working. I got killed. My life is over. My wife will now, who knows, and now I'm assigned to this, and I'm instantly working on it. And I kind of have a weird detachment from my own fucking life that just ended. You think you have it bad.

I was leading a fucking DC property last year. And now I am in R.I. fucking PD. Oh, shit, dude. thing. This is two years after Greenland. My wife, my wife, John last night, she didn't watch this to the movie, she's like, Ryan Reynolds have a fucking deal with the devil? Like, how did, I mean, because, I mean, like,

this dude, I mean, like, you want to talk about quote unquote white mediocrity, et cetera, white men failing up, this guys had nothing but chances. Like, like, so many huge huge, but this movie's a catastrophe of a bomb. Green Lantern is a catastrophe of a bomb, but they're like, keep

throwing it at him. He had a more chance. A brief streak in their late odds. where he did in 2009 he did Adventureland. He did Holy Crow. We also hang on. So Adventureland, he's great and because he's just kind of playing a smooth talking dick. The proposal, which was actually successful, right? And that's the thing also just to go by these one by one here. Keep them in rom-coms because it's a proposal, whatever, it's whatever, but he functions, I think, much better in those kind of rules. And then the

change up, which was before this movie, maybe maybe a year or two. He's body swapping. Yeah, he's body swapping. Pissing and fountains and whatnot. Comedic premises, you know, you got your Van Wilders back in the day. Very good Van Rennel. Little Ryan Reynolds fact that I was looking up this afternoon. Since the year 2002, he has appeared in a major motion picture at least one every single year.

Yeah. Since 2000. And we're talking 21 years. Yes. And 16 out of those 21 years, multiple. And I'm talking two. and threes, sometimes fours? How is this possible? It's insane.

He's a very handsome man. Some of them are cameos, et cetera. There was also back in a time when you could actually release multiple movies a year. The fact that he had multiple releases in 2009 and 2011. Oh nine, he's in Adventureland, X-Men Origins Wolverine, the proposal, and something called

Paper Man. That's like an Arnold streak where you're like, wow, I cannot believe all those movies came out in the same year. But with an Arnold streak, you look at them and, you know, not that Arnold's bad at a thousand, But, like, a lot of them, you're like, these are some pretty okay movies. 2015, Mississippi Grind, the woman in gold and self-slash-L. He is good in Mississippi Grind.

Okay. Arnold was like a real talent, real charisma. This is a guy that a board member thinks has that, you know. That's a really great way to put it. A board member thinks that he's got the juice. I mean, like, at one point, he did have the juice. I watched a good chunk of two guys, a girl in a pizza place. Good TV guy.

AKA two guys and a girl Van Wilder I'm sure you know what Last night I watched two guys And a girl Oh yeah Oh wait wait no it wasn't on TV It was on adult time

I just realized it wasn't on TV It was on a laptop Well that's also how you watch The Fablemans was on your iPads Who the fuck knows what's going on Brassers streaming three the hard way Well you know what I would I have to But you know the fablemans

You're seeing Missy getting stooped by Seth Rogan. Can I tell you? I'm cooking your dad. Yeah. Hang on a second, though. Hang on a second, though.

Because I don't know if anyone else notices the Fableman's, but I swear to you, it must be a direction straight from the mouth of Steve Spielberg himself. Because that Seth Rogan laugh, which we all know what it is, is

definitely like tempered down, muffled, if you will. He's very good in that movie. It's a very, it gives a really nuanced performance. That was really great, but let me just say one thing here. We're hanging around the campfire and everything. It would be really fantastic if you just put a muzzle on that fucking laugh.

You know what I'm saying? I mean, I directed fucking jaws, all right? What are you talking about? See, this is direction. It works. Come to think of it. I guess my Michael Chivalte, the German, Michael Schengit. All right.

Yeah, okay, Seth. I know you're going to go back to your, your little trailer and smelt your Mary Jane Owana. I'm going to tell you right now, I want this to be studied. I don't want this to be your wild fucking pineapple. Oh, shit. Oh, I hear it in there. I fucking hear you there.

God damn it. In the year of our Lord, too, in 2021, he was 22. Ryan Reynolds was in. Jesus. The Adam Project, Bullet Train and spirited in 2021. Wait, hang on. Bullet Train came. if I believe.

I'm just saying appearance is a major motion picture. Fair enough. So like all that's to say is Is that all of it? Have we gone through it off? No, no, I have interrupted. But no, but the point is

the dude gets a lot of chances. Yeah. And to his credit, he fucking works. He really, really shows. Well, because shows up and wants to be on a movie set. We're also in that weird, awkward time period, especially right now where there are no more comedy movies

unless it's him and Will Ferrell or whatever. you just have to be a legacy now there's no no one's coming up as like a big leading comedic man which is actually a fucking travesty because this is what led us to people like tom hanks and you wouldn't have my name my name is auto today if you didn't have his comedic output two years ago oh man it's like the ice caps melting it's like in 35 years we might not have an old grouchy man to put in that movie and that's a fair point dude i'm not kidding it's true i mean the thing that happened with reynolds is that romantic comedies went away. He was doing fine because the proposal also he's good when he is matched with a woman. He has good chemistry with women comedically. Like, just friends

is, it's not a movie I like, but it works at least. By the way, stay tuned, I think, right? Is he a giant fat soup? I was a fat I was a fat bloberman. We still have shallow how to get to first, but that's true. How about

packing on the pounds month? we call it fucking fat phobia month dude that's exactly that's exactly what it is we could 100% we could 100% find at least two more to make a fucking fat phobia February maybe maybe a year from today we'll see oh wow fat phobia February dude so heavyweights

Fobriary is that we just said Chris Fobreary I got like fapueryr I almost sounds like fap you wear like you're jerking off that's a different month all together we can redo baby cakes from remember that movie. Oh, big fat phobia in that movie. Very clearly, we want to talk in detail about what's happening in RIPB. Very obviously, we are very interested in. So, it, we opened and it's,

yeah, as we said, it's a record. How did I get here? And like, we get a fat buzz, CGI fat buzz. Noted, uh, arrested for domestic abuse, uh, Devin Rat Ray. Not great guy, but then we get four or five days ago. Isn't that irreverent and ryeball? They don't even know how many days ago. No, well, because I just said it was four or five days ago and then it's doing it again. By the way, he's a, he's a, in the buzz is a monster in this moment. Yes.

It's the worst CGI you've ever seen. It's terrible. It's large. It's extraordinary gentlemen. It is. Yeah. Like a lot. It's crazy.

It's, it's bewilderling. Which came out, I think. Check my math on that, but I think it's exactly 10 years. Breyer. Very video gaming. The design and look of all of these creatures. A game I would never be playing. Nobody wants to. The design of this shit, you know what it is? It's

whatever bad garbage resident evil knockoff or possible Resident Evil sequel you're putting out there. It's a big fat monster. You got to shoot it with a shotgun. Yes, but we got to get through this plot. Someone's going to be mad if we don't. Okay. Oh. So, but

the people. The folks who are averse to grass touching. Okay. Listen, listen. Now, Ryan Reynolds is, is planting a orange tree in Boston. I love my orange tree. I love it. But it's, it's going to die instantly in Boston. In that first Bean Town winner. Well, yeah. He's got an apple tree. Sam Adams all over it. It has nothing to do with

oranges. Nothing has anything to do with oranges. You know what? Here's what it is. Holy shit. Ready for Los Angeles. Here's what it is. Ready for Los Angeles. No, what? Here's what. Here. Here. what it is. He plants an orange tree. Okay. Do we recall in Frankie Ford C's Godfather Trilogy, orange signified death, he plants an orange tree

dies. It's a film. Doing something after all. Really? Really thinking about it. His French wife, Stephanie Sotzac, showstack. She's got by like the bad villain from Iron Man 3. Yes, Sam. She, wow. Great line of dialogue here. Heavy lifting by her. in this line, how, how the, she, she like jumps on him in bed or whatever.

Oh, the French girl got the jump on Boston's finest. Here's, here's, by the way, husband, here's who I am and here's who you are. And this is your job. And yes, I'm French. So everyone, we're not distracted by it. She's so, like, cutely, like speaking English with that accent. I was expecting her to be like, would you like me if I had a pot? I would like a little put, baby.

Would you like a beautiful? He would never kill Zed. He doesn't have the power to do it. The funny is dead, baby, maybe. I don't know. It's a chopper. The funniest thing in this scene, one of the many things they do establish in your eye,

because she is just like, here is where we live, this is what they do, this is where we are. Would you like to have sexual intercourse in our bedroom where we are currently laying? It is the year 2013. He does the thing,

and it's set up. So later in the movie, you're like, oh, wow, that's smart. where he touches her chin like puts his thumb on her chin like holds it right before he kisses her, which is the least specific move in all of intimacy.

Everyone does that. Oh my God, that's just the thing me and my husband do. You're grabbing chins? You're grabbing chins every day. Yeah, man. Chin-grabber. I mean, everyone does that.

I don't know if I grab the chin. Maybe I get to there. I'll say this. Maybe it's a thing, right, where it's like face off and he's just like rubbing his hand down her entire face. I think that's what we're trying to get to

is something specific so later it's like sure. But that's our secret handshake. If you like grabbed her ass and then like smacked it twice but like oh that's his thing. Or like pull her like ear in a certain way. Yes, exactly.

You're right. But the fact that it's like remember when we kissed like man and woman do? Like husband and wives? Oh my goodness. My husband always pushes his lips. against my own in a way we invented called Kesey. Yeah, and they got a beautiful goddamn house with backyard, and he's like, gosh, darn it,

if only I had more money. We don't even, do we find out what she actually does? She's a French person. She's a French person, okay. She just sits around like smoking and eating bread. Sounds great. Passively reading the newspaper. Beautiful. Coffee out of a bowl.

The beginning when he's burying these de blooms and I'm like, okay, so I'm totally going to understand what this is. at some point, right? And that check is cashed in like an hour of 15 in. I never know what this is insane gold. So much of this could be solved just by being corrupt. Yes. I'm also like

the minute, he's bet this the first scene is him putting this gold in the ground under this orange tree. And then we cut to this romance. I'm like, get back to the blood gold. What the fuck was that? Get me back. What was that? It's a really bad way to introduce you, right? You need a thing where it's like

it's the middle of the night. his partner played by Kevin Bacon is dropping him off at the house they have a little like I'm gonna bury it in the backyard don't worry about it I bought this orange tree that she's always wanted

she's never gonna question you just you need some of that because like in this movie like I know I'm signing in for RIPD and okay but like yeah he's just dumping this gold and nobody's saying anything and the movie's only been on for seven minutes

I mean the fact that this movie is such a high budget and it was like a summer thing it was only 96 minutes it's, it, and even bridges has come out and said that this is cut to ribbons. Oh, they sliced and diced and diced again. Well, that's, I buy that, but you know. I mean, I just hate the fact that it starts so seriously. Like, Ryan, this first like, after the first like bit, uh, with the, the, the fast, uh, forward from the fucking centipes. Once we get to the actual, here we are, here starts the movie. It's so serious. until he died and like you are very clearly trying to be men in black everything including your title

is essentially referencing men in black so why the fuck would like it starts everybody's funny in men and black yes there's no scene without a joke especially you have Ryan Reynolds but this is before he was like fully Deadpool all of the time right yes this is like Blade Trinity

Ryan Reynolds he's really like kind of he's very grim in this movie you're right it is like Trinity has that double king, by the way. Serious tone, because he should actually give, the stakes shouldn't be saving the world. It should be saving his wife like ghost or something. Well, fucking when we get to the goddamn, when we get upstairs to Proctor and Mary Louis Parker, and she's like, you know what a ghost who riding in the in the world do, that's climate change.

That's like death worldwide. I'm like, no, no, stop. No, it's just ghosts. It's just fucking ghost. Maybe that's a, you know, a sly remark about overpop. population. Oh, sure. Because you think about how many ghosts there are. There's more ghosts now than there ever was because you've got to count

all the people that died before us. So that's my father, my grandfather, my great-grandfather, my great-grandfather, my great-great-grandfather, my great-great-great-grandfather. They're up there just licking and gnawing at the ozone layer. They're trying to get it, fucking crack it through. What else are they going to do? We are told, though, that it is only the spirits

of those who have not moved on. Sure. And don't want to go to either heaven or hell. That's a great. I mean, look, the thing is this movie, it takes so, they just push this thing right through. Like, we spend more time in, with Ryan Reynolds and this drug bust and blah, blah, blah. Then we do like the beginnings of the RIPA D. This is the police station.

This is what this does. In the middle of the movie, what he eats a hot dog is like, I can't taste anything. And Jeff Brits is like, oh, yeah, you don't eat, you don't sleep. But all you do is work. And I'm like, why am I just finding this out now? It's crazy. And, like, you think about, I mean, because Chris started this off, there's no way to end the comparison in men and black. No. But the way men and black starts, I mean, there is the cold open where it's like the flashback and, you know, Tommy Lee Jones mean the aliens and Roswell and whatnot. But then like the introduction to Will Smith is this like, he's chasing a criminal. Yes. But it's still funny. It's not like hyper serious. But you are able to figure out like, all right, he's a cop. He's good at what he does. Yada yada. Even though. UFO lore is funny. Like, you gave that tall man some flowers. Well, yeah, totally. But then, like, you get to...

Freeze, mean, stop. Like, there's jokes in the chase. When you get to, like, what in this movie, you can't even call it didactic because they just fucking forget to tell you anything until these random scenes where you're like, you don't eat hot dogs, but I like the mouth feel or, you know, whatever. When they start men in black, like, they... I mean, it's an Ed Solomon screenplay. fucker knows what's up like they secretly teach you all that shit it's like the fucking you know you're putting the the pill on the peanut butter yeah you're getting all of this information about what the mib is what they are what they do but but it all you know it's also stylish that movie's got a style sure that helps it flow well barry soninfeld is exactly in an actual director and this dude i think might just be three little kids in a fucking huge trench

coat i don't think this guy's a real man copy of a copy of a copy of a copy syndrome. Sonfeld was a decent copy of Tim Burton. Yeah. Sure. This is a copy of a copy of a copy copy and it's German. Yeah. So it's just like, I mean, there's no flavor to it. Like, it's just like he knows

how to make things look bubbly. But Sunsen was a DP under the Coens and shit like that, right? And he knows how to frame his shot. He knows how to make things look interesting. He knows how to get that flow going and this guy doesn't. And I mean, like the the other thing too is like, aliens are

obviously a huge metaphysical like, whoa, we're not alone in the universe. What happens when you die is a huge question that this movie doesn't want to answer. You know what I mean? Steve, there's a very interesting black light poster you see for about a minute

of a big hole going up in the sky. More of I am totally okay with that one moment in this movie. Like, oh, that's kind of cool. It's kind of neat. Kevin Bacon by that. Sorry, I just applaud it. I had no, I watched this movie. in 2013. I had zero memory

of Kevin Bacon being in this. I think this was a fucked up as all get out, Astoria screening. I think you watch this at your old apartment. Oh, yeah. Because I knew that I had seen this movie and parts of it I did remember, but unsurprisingly, as the runtime

kept going, more details including maybe the entirety of the third act, I didn't remember. Kevin Bacon shows up, but he's like, hey man, what did you do with your gold? He's like, oh, I buried it. It's a good idea. This is what I'm doing with mine because we got this gold from this drug bust yesterday. By the way

we live in the city of Boston, we're both detectives. We're getting a lot of information. Kevin Bacon making an attempt at some sort of Bostonian slash New England accent. Ryan Reynolds, unsurprisingly not trying. Well, he went inside of his mental closet, grabbed the Mystic River accent down. Oh, it's under like three board games.

No, I got the Mystic River accent. Let's see. Yeah, Candyland, Battleship, Star Wars Monopoly. Oh, there it is. There's my Mystic River accent. No, I'm leaving the flash dance up there. Too old for that these days. Footloose. Footloose. Yes.

But yeah, and he's just like, yeah, blah, blah, blah. Ryan Reynolds, like, you know what? My wife is so attractive. I'm just going to forget about this whole situation. I'd rather be poor with my hot-ass French wife than in jail. You know how you do that is you leave it buried and shut the fuck up? Exactly. Why are you telling this guy that like, oh, no, I'm going to actually turn it in after the fact?

Well, here's the thing. adding all these fucking questions to everything. Let me ask you this, though, because what we learn by the end of this wretched movie is that all that gold are, it's pieces of this large staff that is going to open up. The shaft of Jericho. The staff of Jericho, which when they assemble, is clearly not a staff. No, it's just, that's a problem for me. It's like a weird little monument thing.

It's not a staff. I don't know how we don't. It's like a box. I don't know how we don't know what the word staff means in this movie. But all that aside, right? So like, hey, spoiler alert, Kevin Bacon's a fucking deado. Yeah. And he's trying to do this whole plan, right?

If their thing, if Ryan Reynolds's whole thing is like, I'm taking this gold because I want my lady wife here to like have a good life and I want us to stop having money problems or whatever. But if his gold is part of the staff of Jericho. Yeah. He was never going to get it anyway. Kevin Bacon's fucking rolling up in the night to dig up the ocean or the, Orange plant. I also don't know how some drug dealer had this mystical gold.

Oh, Garza, dude. Oh, because that's the whole thing we get the call in the locker room. Oh, we got an eye on Garza. It's time for a huge SWAT operation out of nowhere. Now, it's obviously this just adds more questions. Is Kevin Bacon framing this guy to get the gold from him because he knows it's from the staff of Jericho? And if so, is this Garza fellow trying to get the staff as well? Or is he just came across gold or did someone sell him? I got you. I got you. this one. Garza was clearly, we got deados on one side. What we got the other side? Livo's.

Oh. Livoes are protecting the golden shaft of Jericho and all of its pieces. Got to protect the shaft. Got to protect the shaft at all times. Rubbed the underside. Work the balls. Always. Make sure that taint is nice and nice. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. No dry taints here. Is this a naked, fat guy, the buddy from according to Jim? He is a deed. I think he's got to be like seeds deleted like somewhere later on. It's got to be right. He's like in there for five seconds. He's in for five seconds.

But there's also this thing. When Kevin Bacon is entering, it's like everybody's, they're making you think that he is like the cock of the walk. As a guy's like, man, looks like you were always celebrated in like they have a high school. Like here's what our boys did this month.

Like like you won the fucking football game against fucking LAPD. Cops love patting this. themselves on the back. You don't say. I mean, so that happens. And stopping people from breathing.

Also, very big fans at that. That would work. And then in the locker room, of course, he sees a fat. He's like, ha,

ha, fat. Ah, fat. There we go fat. Ryan Reynolds, how are you doing? Ha, fat.

You're giving their track record. I even surprised they didn't choke during that football game. Yeah. It's too bad. And, so it's a big drug bus.

Yeah. Drug bus. I mean, because we're really running through this story and immediately Kevin Bacon is going to flip on him and the thing that drives me and it happens pretty much

it's a big action scene that's pretty bad it's pretty bad and also like if Ryan Reynolds wasn't murdered in a few seconds and like involved in the RIPD this movie would be about this tits up Boston Police Department

Jesus Christ yeah dude like the explosions that we're seeing here like this is a massive failure of law enforcement. Terminator factory for some reason. Of course. It's always a terminator factory, a warehouse,

something nondescript. So yeah, Kevin Bacon shoots him in the head in the face or whatever. No, he does not. This is what drove me nuts. Right, because they say it later on,

but he shoots him in like the chest. He just doesn't invest and then he falls off and hits his head. Is, yeah, are we not, does he become a ghost instantly? So we don't see the exact carnage?

Yes, that is correct. But we go down with the body, though. It's not like the soul came out. the way the head hits there also would be blood there but there isn't no there isn't I think it's instantaneous like they're not going to show

we are we are desperately trying to get that PG 30 well we are yeah because multiple times in the movie they say that Kevin Bacon shot Ryan Reynolds in the face and it's just does that happen doesn't happen it doesn't yeah it's crazy maybe he did it afterwards like maybe we're not seeing this he desicrates the body really made sure

I just might be that might have been it oh Garza did it so yeah he had a shotgun he just absolutely blew it away and we then we get a moment of but just movie does multiple times we loved in the 2010s maybe because of matrix residue is that slowdown of action scenes but this is even more slowdown of him just walking through this completely frozen landscape which yes to your point Andrew is thousands of bombs going off cars being flipped on fire I don't understand how any of that is happening there's when he leaves the warehouse there's a huge huge like plume of fire coming out of it. And you definitely see one cop getting fucking rocked like someone pulled a wire attached to his wrist

waist and just went. Like that dude's definitely dead. Like I'm telling you, if Ryan Reynolds survived this, this dude is getting put on fucking probation at the east. He's getting involved. Oh, he's going down. Because like this is so bad you can only sort of intimate that he

is working with Garza. That's how bad it is. But he also got Garza, it sounds like. So if you get the big bad guy, oh, that's true. They don't give a fuck what happens. Garza's a pile of meat in the court. No one survived this Holocaust. Like, nothing

is making it through this. Well, Kevin Bacon did because, well, okay, you might, he's a dead old dude. Well, you might not have noticed it. You might not have noticed it, but he does have a St. Christopher's medal on his wrist that might be ported later. That his mother

gave him. It's his armor. It's his Charmed bracelet, he wears it into battle. Hey, Ryan Reddell, let me just point this out for you really quickly. It's just an incidental thing about my character. Later on in the film, we're noted that, like, oh, yeah, you know, if they carry something special, it could be a fucking, be a mask for their soul stank and they can walk around, not be deceived. If they have an accessory, all rules are off. Every rule that I spent the last 40 minutes telling you, oh, that's double backwards.

Wait, do you're wearing shoes? I used to have a time X to put my stench down. Magic shoes. That's what it is. He's wearing pants. Oh, he's got those little things on the shoelaces at the end. He's probably prevented him as a soul stank. Yes, now the soul stank, we have to.

Oh, yeah. Stank, dude. It'll rot like your house. It'll rot everything around you if you're a dead person living a life. But the bracelet. prevents it. Yes. I was just looking up the patron saints here, right?

He says it's a St. Christopher. Yeah. It's a cop saint, right? It's a patron saint of cops or no. It's not, though. That's what I, because I was looking it up. St. Michael is the patron saint of law enforcement. And I know this. I was reminded of it because you better believe it. My fucking little bros got a huge St. Michael's Oh, there you guys. Unless he got duped.

Well, unless it got duped, but actually, I was Googling, and it is, it is St. Michael. St. Christopher is the patron saint of travelers, including motorists, which, if I'm remembering right, was somewhere decades ago was a thing like for travelers, like AAA would give you some sort of like St. Christopher fucking thing. Magic AAA card. Get away from him. That's always the thing about the Catholics that never makes any sense. It's like, you know, your, your grandmother dies of cancer. It's like, oh, it's just so sad. It's just God's plan. you know, he's got it all figured out. Sure.

And then it's like, oh, man, if you're going to go travel there, you should pray to St. Christopher, make sure he does that right. So wait, so is it, is St. Christopher going to be like, hey, man, can I just fix the plan real quick? I don't want that guy to die in a plane crash because he prayed to me. Well, Catholicism is not monotheism, right? Because you got the Holy Trinity, which are three people. And then also, you got all the fucking cast of characters.

You got the whole monster party up there. Apropos of RIPD, dude, with the Holy Trinity, it's two dudes and a ghost Yeah well the father the son Which are the Holy Ghost Okay and the Holy Ghost is God's cock Yeah but it's all Kaiser Sosa it's all the same dude That's also true

You drop that coffee mug and it just says Fucking Holy Spirit at the bottom of it I think there's also probably Most definitely Just thinking about coming from a Catholic family myself too Like I think Some of these Catholics use these saints

The wrong way Because I'm looking up here in St. Christopher is like the, you know, the patron saint of traveling, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. My mother would also go around the house when she couldn't find something and say St. Christopher, St. Christopher, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'd be like, oh, St. Christopher is the patron saint of lost, blah, blah, blah.

And I'm like, so now I'm looking at this and I'm thinking about RIPD and I'm thinking about my mother's catchphrases. I was anybody correct? Was anyone at any point? Meanwhile, he's search about anything. Meanwhile, there's a fucking genocide in Rwanda, but some fucking saints kind of get off his ass for your mom's car keys. That's what we're doing

with? Exactly. You know, grown up, you know, I was like not a very lapsed Catholic. My grandmother and great-grandmother lived with us, an Austrian Catholic and never heard a fucking saint before. Christ was big. Yeah. They didn't talk about saints. Oh, no, because it's all

been, I mean, everything's gotten flattened, everything has been cheap and now all they have is like, St. Seth, who is the patron saint of energy drinks. Sure. I mean, they don't really have that much aspirations anymore. Yeah, St. Cooper, dude, he's the patron's, the patron saint of partying down. Yeah, I mean, it just doesn't get there.

Like traveling, I mean, people don't even want to travel anymore. They don't want to go to the movies anymore. It's just St. Carissa, the patron saint of Instagram. Oh, totally. Oh, love you, St. Carissa. Yeah, you got to do that. You'll get better filters if you do that. St. Buster, the patron state of fast food.

Oh, totally, dude. Pray to that guy all the time. Oh, St. Bustar. I hope the Wendy's is still open. So Ryan Reynolds is sucked into the sky, which then brings him to the RAPD department instead of going to judgment, which would send him to heaven or hell.

And Steve, I think you've mentioned this on the show before, but I think this is a great example of that cynical, ironic detachment from the material. Oh, sure. Because like, oh, I'm dead. I'll never see my wife again, and my life is over, and he just kind of doesn't care. He doesn't give a shit. And it's just, it also like, Molly,

Mary Louise Parker, who, by the way, this is a movie for guys who like movies. She's totally sexed out this whole movie. She's sexed out. She wears go-go boots

the entire film. Oh, sure, I guess so. Is that what we're counting as sexed out in the age of cleavage? I couldn't tell that she was sexed out because I couldn't see them ankles.

And then all of the bodacious babe jokes that are like throughout this film. When we get to the fuck of what Jeff Bridges is to do it. It's a movie for. guys like movies. I will not stand down from that point. I agree with Steve. I mean, I think

she's such a thing. Yes. Yes. You know, you'd be hard pressed to not make her sex. For sure. But my eyes sex her up, yes. But the, like, her like three minute spiel is like, oh, it's a kind of a mid-level marketing scheme because it's like, oh, you know what? Ooh, you were about to go to judgment

and do you want to go to judgment? Not with the stuff in your record. Why don't you work for us for a hundred years? And then we'll make, I'll put it a, no, even, I'll get you into heaven, because we don't say heaven or hell. We just say judgment and the cosmos, et cetera, et cetera. A hundred years, I'll put it, we'll put it a good word for you. A good word. Would you like to be in this movie?

We have this movie we were thinking about. Your other movie ended because you got shot. You got shot in the face by Kevin Bacon. But I got to, I got to say this is my favorite scene because of one thing and one thing only. I know where you're going with this dude. Go-go boots. Eric, how'd you know? No, I know. Can I guess?

You know. And then you can finish it up. You know. A special appearance. And I thought it was going to come back more than once and fuck you for not. The Dan dude. Yes. Steely Dan's Hay 19 is playing in the background. Hell you. Lightly for a minute there. And that is the only respite of fucking peace I had during this goddamn movie. Because it turns into because it's 2013 and we loved this. Random. Yeah. Right? Because he's like. What's what the steely dancing? It's always on.

We don't know why. Random. Bada bough, bough, ba-dom-paw-d-d-paw-baw-baw-bott-baw-bott-baw-bott-a-bondom. This is heaven. Fine Bolivian in the heaven. Okay.

But I mean, so, the idea is only cops, by the way. Yep. That's right. The PBA is ever powerful. It really is. They're going to break up the union.

Only cops get this second chance at what, at redemption because they need some carcarsal systems have to exist in all forms of life. Of course. It all forms of metaphysics. Prison has to exist in every plane of existence. Yeah. So they people who escape

judgment and go back to Earth somehow, we never explain how or why. Nope. They just escape judgment and then sure get back into Earth as what we call deados. Need to be hunted down by the RIPD. And the greatest part about this, they don't. So like when they arrest them, I assume that they just

send them to judgment. We never see that process. You see them get arrested. But you sure as fuck see Jeff Bridges just annihilating souls from all existence with impunity. And everyone's like, hey, stop doing that. He's like, what the fuck ever? How bullage can

just get rid of souls? And it's like, if that's the case, why does judgment matter? Exactly. If he's just allowed to just annihilate souls, wouldn't there be like, I mean, you would think in this about all police departments, would there hearings about what happened? Yeah, do I love working

for the RIPD? Two words. Qualified a music. Well, look, you know, we had to take a lot of flights of fancy depicting the police department and RIPD. We thought we'd have one thing that carried over that was realistic. And you know what's

fucking hilarious, man? And I mean, obviously there's a stark difference because this is indeed the rest in peace department. So, like, immediately from your title, you're invoked cops but like in any part of men in black at no point are you like these dudes feel like cops ever you know what I mean like there's not that shit and like they're more like they're agents of like you know like oh what he called X files like paranormal investigators yeah different

and this should be that like really coping it up is dumb as well because it's so my deportation too it's never like and then we fucking murder these things I mean obviously the bad guys and some of the bad guys and men in black wind up dead but it is mostly about we are deporting them off of earth but I can understand a UFO coming to Earth

and an alien getting out versus the deados just come back if they did human possession it'd be creepy and interesting but some body snatchers energy goes I guess you come back as your own self and then only if you eat Indian food random

it makes you back into a big monster person because Indian food weird Oh, my God, it has this cumin stuff in it. It's in these weird fucking unbelievable foods like chili. Just normal fucking chili. Chili could do it. And the chili was existing in the Old West.

But also like hearing the words like sagpaneer makes people, these things shit themselves. It's like, what the fuck are we talking about? It's a 1982 sushi joke that somehow got here. In 20, motherfucker you 13. You're doing this. Jeff Bridges goes, chicken chico masala. And then this fucking alien or this ghost just goes,

and that whole scene wouldn't be, I wouldn't be vomiting or anything. If fucking Jeff Bridges was enshuffling it like a fucking baby eating this chika masala. Here's the thing is the deados, even the deados for some reason don't see the RIPD department. They're watching the hot lady eat the Indian food.

So let's get it to Jeff Bridges Let's end the pot That's a better idea. Fuck this movie. Okay, so would you recommend? But this is a particularly, I mean, seven son comes out the next year. That's when we did like an emergency episode on that. I think, yeah, was that the time we invented emergency episodes?

I think this is more embarrassing. Yes. Oh, yeah. Yosemite Sam horse shit that he's doing. Absolutely. And he's got this, like, beard. And this is what, like, his voice got gravely and just incomprehensible. And that's just sort of age, I guess.

Sure. But he's also that. He's doing a voice. I mean, this is, but I mean, this is like baby. But, like, again, like, I hate to bring up baby so much because he's doing a lot of baby stuff in this. But, like, the whole fucking point is like, Tommy Lee Jones was a character in men and us.

This is like, God damn it. My penis is aching. Where is Mary Louise Parker? My butt hurts. You're right. Tommy Lee Jones had an inner life. in men in black. There was a character backstory

that was heartfelt and there was a, there was a drama to it. This, I'm shitting my britches. But it's a 2013 quasi comedy script and you have to do random. You have to do random

and also to your point, Chris, and you want to say that you were not sexing up Mary Louise Parker. I don't. She's only his ex-girlfriend. You know what I mean? She's not the boss.

She's like, oh man, it's my bitch ex-girlfriend. Dude, let me tell you, like, If you are putting out in your motion picture that ghosts are dating, I got to see something. If ghosts are putting out, I have to see it.

Totally. We've learned already ghosts can't do it. We've learned it. Yeah, I sure can't come. I ghost can't do it. I've been eating down there getting all the actoplasm out. Well, that's why I mean. It broke my jaw.

It took so long. Well, it's what so was revolutionary about McGruber. It really just flipped the script. It goes can't do it. goes can do it and they seem to enjoy it a little bit. See, McRuber, so much so much fun, very funny. This movie, not, but I will push back

slightly. I mean, this is a shit fucking movie. Absolutely. But I think Jeff Bridge is having fun with it. He is. And no one else is having fun here. Ryan Reynolds has to play his fucking blank man performance that he does a lot. Yes.

I mean, it's also like, it's just him doing drama. Like, He's never really funny. Like, it's always, like, occasionally he'll be getting, like, a very dry response to Jeff Bridges. Yeah. But, like, it's not like he has jokes. He's just serious about getting revet. You know what it is?

He's in ghost. Yeah. And fucking Jeff Bridges is in men in black. Yes. I think with Reynolds, though, it's a thing where he was like, oh, shit. If I start acting like my, you know, close to true persona, which is Van Wilder, which is two guys, a girl in a pizza place. If I, well, that's the thing, right?

This is pre-Deadpool. So it's like, if I, if I start doing that, oh, no, they might not take me seriously. And it's with Deadpool. Then he realizes, oh, fuck, I can just keep doing that. And people do. Like, I'm allowed to do movies. He was in, he was experimenting at this point, his career, right? Because he did Adventureland buried.

Buried, good movie, by the way. Safe House with Denzel Washington. So he, I guess he didn't know where he was going to land on the spectrum. and obviously with Bridges being smoking aces by the way smoking aces. Oh he's in that movie. Stay tuned for smoking aces. I've still never seen it. But Bridges is so cartoonish

maybe thought I need to play straight man. Sure. Which is fine. I mean it just they have no chemistry. But if he was going to play straight man he needs to play straighter of a man and actually give a fuck about dying. Give a fuck about his French wife. That's all I fucking know about her. But also

the idea that the RIPD like later on is again, you don't sleep, you don't you just work. And it's like, wouldn't that drive you insane? Like, you know what I mean? You still have a mind of a, you know, the idea of a concept of a mind. Yeah, you're functioning human brain. You would be like, oh, wait, so like, it's been two years and all I've done is fucking

chased down these dead old things. I would, I would take what, the suicide rate, the ghost, RIPD suicide rate would be to the roof. Absolutely. At least show you, like, is there any downtime? Like, when, when, when, you know, apartment. Yeah, like, when data's, like, working on. his computer inside his quarters

on Star Trek the next generation. All right, yeah, you're at the RIPD apartment complex. You're on 12. I'm on six. You know, like whatever it is. That is something that men in black doesn't address, but it doesn't matter because they don't ever say like anything about we're working all the time. You just kind of assume that they

go home. Well, they have a 36 hour day. There's this little line in it where they're like, we're on a 36 hour day. Oh, yes. where, like, you can't sleep, like, you do two days and then you sleep. Yeah. But to Steve's idea of this apartment, you could have jokes there. Yeah.

Turn on the TV and Johnny Carson could still be hosting the Tonight Show. Oh, that's a great idea. Well, what the fuck is, like, okay, so the whole plan, when you get to RIPD, it's all got a cop ghosts. Yes. It's all, and like, they don't look interesting. Like, some of them have Bobby uniforms on. That's about it. It's just, you know, you look at like.

guy at the beginning. Yes, there's like, there's a 70s dude who's wearing like a leather jacket and a mustache. He'd love more of that. Yeah. I mean, because there's like, there's one guy who you said Bobby's. Yeah, it's like really old in times he's got a dumb hat on. Then there's like kind of maybe like a 1950s cop sort of a thing. But none of that. That's shit that you can mind for jokes. And they they sort of do it with bridges here and there. Like he says things about his past or whatever. You know, he does kind of have the fun line where he talks about how I'm the one. who invented, like, you know, fighting in the streets of guns. So there's, like, things there, but the ankle's joke is kind of humorous. Like, you know, right? That's also good. Yeah. Oh, back, you know, back in my dad. That's all you wanted to see. Oh, look at the ankles

on that one. Exactly. It's a fine little joke. Yes. Yeah, totally. You know, speaking about Jeff Bridges past, I think three of us have watched RIPD2. Sure. Colin Dent. Dude, I'm not going to fucking apologize. We're not watching RAPD. Well, you know, we're being thorough and doing our job. not wasting our time at all

Steve. No, no, sir. Oh, is it a true waste of my time. It's called two, even though it's a prequel, where we have burn notice. Jeffrey Donovan. Donovan. As, as

Roy, whatever the fuck. Roy Fis, Pulitzer, or whatever. Royce of Fis, Pullen surprise winner. Yes, exactly. That's the one. And this just adds more questions than not, because he dies and then he's young as a ghost. So do

you age as a ghost? Yes. And also if you're aging, I mean What the fuck? Because that, you know, the same deal goes in the prequel, right? Like he gets sentenced to like 100 years of doing this. So like, and we're also told

in this movie, in RIPD1, that he's had his sentence extended three times. Yes. But like, you know, I don't even remember where I was going with it. But this just doesn't That's why I was going with. There's shit in that movie that straight up contradicts this movie

so much to the point where I'm watching this movie today and I was like, did no one who made that terrible sequel watched this? I can't blame them on that level. If I was asked to direct RIPD2 I'm like, I'm not watching the first one.

Well, what if you were asked to do with that? That's what I did. I was like, I'm not watching the second one. The second one is worse somehow. Here's a question that I have. that's been driving. Is Jeffrey Donovan noted, I mean, it's pretty good. He was good in Fargo season two. Sikario. As Secario as well. Fargo is great.

Is he doing like a Jeff Bridges root and tutan accent? No, he's just doing kind of like a Tejas. There's a little twang. Yeah. So he's just not doing the same character at all. No. So then what the fuck? I mean, I'm sorry. Just call it RIPD Rise of the Deados or whatever

the fuck it's called. And it's just some other guy. Why wouldn't you? This is such an easy idea to repackage like they did with men in black international whoops which I still have not seen

unwatchable it's awful I mean I was thinking about that movie recently because we did the Thor Love and Thunder show in which they're both in that movie also

that men and black movie will make you hate the concept of men in black and I was so thankful when I got the 4K of the first movie and Chelsea and I rewatched it and I was like oh never mind

this is excellent But that fucking international burned me on. That's crazy because two and three destroyed all love. Three is good. I will stand by the three is a good movie. I got to rewatch it. It's a good movie. I was kind of indifferent to it, but certainly after you watch International,

it gets a new glow to it. So, I mean, like, at this point, like maybe it is just something like one of them is named Roycephor, Rice of Fis. Roycephus. Rice of Fis. Polis a prize winner. And the other one is Roycephist.

Stephanie, and, like, they just happened to fuck it up on the transit. I think it's a thing. Well, it's weird because, like, it can't be a budget thing because it's a period old west thing. So you're paying for costumes and whatnot. People can't bring that. It's terrible, but, like, people can't bring that shit for, from home. Right. So, like, you're paying for some of that, right? Yes, yes. But I was about to say, like, if you just made what that movie should have been, like, any one of those off-brand fake sequel and name only SWAT Firefight Time. Yeah, sure. all that shit. And it's just Jeffrey Donovan

and he fucking dies as a detective in present day. It would be Jeff Bridges. Way better. It would be way better. Because what you could do because the concept, I mean the concept is bad RIPD, just full on bad. But it's, there's enough room to wiggle around. You could be like, you know, it's been

10 years. That's what they did. They were like, hey, it's a property. Let's try it again. Why on earth you'd go back to the well with a character you'd have to remember from the first one that nobody liked anyway? Why wouldn't you come on. Get some famous hero cops in this police. Get Serpico. Gist Christopher Dornner.

Dornner. It would have to be Dorner, right? Because he was shot down in the line of duty. Where we thought he was being a bad guy, but it turns out. He was being a good guy. Mark Ferman's still alive or no. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Furman, I think, is still alive. Wait, who's Christopher Dornner? He's a guy. He's a cop out in Los Angeles that went crazy and shot a bunch of people and died

it like Big Bear California he was he was targeting other cops what about Cannibal cop is he still living I believe so unfortunately we're gonna have to get him to cross over maybe he becomes yeah get him up there I mean there's a lot of options maybe that cop

Cardinal cannibal cop would go to judgment they'd be like all right dude a hundred years ago he's like no I'm gonna go to fucking judgment because you know what I never ate anybody that's true it's all of my hair that's true can I get sent to hell for internet fantasies Here's the other thing, by the way. It's like a jail for internet fantasy turns out, which is something, I guess.

The thing that I was asking, I was rolling it about in my head and answered it for myself like an IMDB. And why it's just more confounding that this film and its prequel are so different as far as one of its main characters is concerned. This is based on a comic book. Yeah. So dark horse comic book. But like, regardless, what the fuck did the comic book? it's a great question i mean it's a comic from 1999 the guy wound up

the writer wound up being like just a TV guy he was uh involved and he did that Hawaii 5-0 he's a big CBS guy until he was fired from CBS because he bullied uh the dude Lucas Till who's on uh McGiver

uh he like body shamed him he said and Lucas still said to the point of almost suicide and then it's like crazy shit Wait, where, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. How is someone who's good enough looking to be on the McGiver show, which I'm sure was terrible? Being bullied by a comic book writer. Exactly. But I guess because he's your boss, dude. He's just like, hey, you don't look good enough. Which

motherfucker was this? Peter Lenkoff or Lucas Maron. I think it's Peter what Peter Lenko. Yeah. Allegedly. Which is probably means it did happen. Oh, well, here's a picture of him at fucking SD ComicCon. So yeah, he's probably got all sorts of troubles. But so he, yes, 40 episodes of, oh no, you're, hang on. Just want to double check here. Oh, well, so at the same time that he's MacGyvering, which was 2016 to 2020s on that program for 80 episodes. Sure. This motherfucker squeaks in 40 episodes of Magnum PI. This guy's just remaking TV. He's a lot of money. So, but we go back. But look at that. That's who we give money. The guy who made RIPD. Exactly

because it's a bad idea. Well, he made red which made us a lot of money Eric. No, no, no, I'm talking about the comic book. Oh, the comic book guy. Who created RIPD. Not the, not the Crout Cinema Smith. We go back

for the first case and it's Robert Nepper who is the answer to four people passed. I was on prison break once and people kind of like that a little bit. We even asked Tony Shalub again. I know it's tasteless, but you know what?

We thought we just give it a shot. And this is the Indian food scene, which we didn't, basically, if you have to go in and he looks like a normal person, you ask a bunch of questions where the answer is Indian food and the dude almost vomits enough until he turns into a monster. It's also just Blade Runner questions. He's a replicant test on them. Yes, he's like, because Jeff Bridges is like,

you read the cards and I'll hold it. God, there's a, there's a delivery man bringing chicken Vindaloo. Well, that's the right. No, no, no, no, no. I would hurt the turtle. I would absolutely hurt the turtle. I would hurt the turtle. Who gives a shit?

It's a turtle. Much like Blade Runner, when hearing this question makes you want to punt a turtle. I also, hearing all these questions, kind of made me hungry last. And I look, do you eat chicken Vindaloo? And also, does this mean India has no ghosts? No devilets? They would have billions. They'd have to have.

Billion, literally billions of guns. Maybe they went all up to judgment. Well, shit, that's the thing. It's like, what is the religion that's right? I think to make these kinds of ideas, quote, unquote, work. Yeah, yeah. Organized religion is not a thing. It's like, it is just up or down, which I think makes it even more hilarious that

we are setting this movie entirely in Boston. They should have called it cop out. But I mean, like something like that does. this is defending your life. But again, like, the first six minutes of that movie, well, not the first six minutes. When you get to Judgment City, Rip-Torn, again, in Men and Black as well,

Rip Torn, undefeated, just like running through stuff, giving you a ton of exposition, making it funny. I think even Albert Brooks even asked, which is a question I have in this movie. What happens to kids? Riptorn goes,

they all move on. Isn't that nice? It just, it's a great it's a perfect fucking thing because I think there is you've seen that movie more than I have but is there not some sort of additional line where he's he basically says like they haven't had enough time to do anything wrong so like they just pass on it's a sweet kind of nice thing and you're right

this movie is kind of like because defending your life takes its time to set up what the fuck has happened yeah this is all plot this is just keep the fucking train moving and like even God. So he does the pervious thing a ghost can do. He watches his own funeral. He

goes there with Jeff Bridges. His wife's not crying. Very specifically She's kind of all right. She's like Yeah, it's a tragedy. Well, we're having money problems. And now I got all that life insurance and the pension and whatnot. It's a tragedy. Well, Jeff Bridges brings him there, though. He's like, first

step for any RIPD officer, watch your funeral. Not doing it. You know what? Get me out of here. I'm done. I'm not. I'm not. going to have a funeral. My family does not have funerals for some reason. Baird and see. We're going to bury you at sea? Off the cliff. No, you just cremate and you put it away. Oh. Don't

fucking say anything. I thought you were using the Cisca cliff or something. You toss a body over there. Chris, why don't you come over sometime? Once I'm dead, I'm not letting you kill me and then do it. Once my body is there, they'll never find your body. This is like an idea wherein like

Jeff Bridges is hazing him. You know what I mean? He's like, oh, recording on funeral. And he's like, I got to do something. He's like, oh, we'll see how this one's going to go. He's fucking with him even more, though, because they're at the funeral. He's like, oh, yeah, pretty weak turnout, huh? And you're like, oh, man, you need this guy to fight ghost crime with you.

Why are you messing with him? Oh, you know, you're in Boston, you know, you should do a mystic river. Have a bunch of claps. Hold you back. He does, they do. And because he runs up to her. And he's like, it's me. it's me.

Oh, we haven't talked about the avatar program. This is where it comes in. And guess what? She sees him and everyone else sees him as James Hong. Oh, boy. I wish for it every day. Trade up, dude. I'd rather have James Hong in the movie.

And that is a fucking criminal thing, right? Because in that prequel, there's plenty of moments where the avatars are talking. And we'll get to them in just one second. But like, in this I was like, boy, I'd love James Hong to be talking more than these fucking Ryan Reynolds lines. They don't trust it to be James

Hong. It's not like, you know, everything everywhere all at once where it's like, oh, this guy's a great actor. No, it's just like, it's a little Chinese guy as Ryan Reynolds, because they keep saying little Chinese guy, because you know why? It's pretty random. They give a great actor, they give a great actor nothing to do. Just one note race jokes. Yes. And then he's paired with a model who doesn't even speak, right? She speaks a few lines.

A little bit, but like you see her a lot more. More than James Long, I mean, because it's a bo-bo-b-bub-babe. She's bodacious, Eric. Here's the thing. She is bo-dacious. So in this movie, the avatars, right, it's a babe and an old Chinese fella. Sure. Isn't that something?

In this prequel, it is, it is. Which, by the way, Netflix just released. fix, just put it out. It is burn notice and his partner who we learn in that movie, Griddeer Loins is Joe Navark herself. Of course. Okay.

We're not, no, no, no. We're not, you're not ready for judgment. Hang on. Yeah, what did she do wrong? Oh, she stole some cocaine on the job. And their other partner, Napoleon. I mean, what? So, there are two avatars. We, so there's

it's set in the Old West. Zone of Arc in the old West. I know Steve, it's very stunning, but more stunning information is about to hate you, so are you ready? Okay, okay. We are in the Old West and you would now believe this quantum leap bullshit, dude, both of the avatars. So Joan of Arc

and Burn Notice, almost calls them Deadpool. Burn Notice, their avatars in the Old West are two black women. And there is a lot of like them going around and you, they just there's no names at least James

Hong is called like Mr. whatever at one point. These two women no names. They're literally referred to as avatars and it's a lot of like should we be looking like this in this time period and then like Joan of Arc is like well this is this is a challenge

you're going to have to see how these people face and I'm just like what the fuck are you talking about? Not for this movie fucking RIPD too. RIPD too trying to do like walk a mile and That's what it's just like, it doesn't, it feels wrong, it feels like you're making fun of them. Which also, yes, it feels, because that's what they're doing in this movie. I mean, that's what James Hong is the idea, the joke is, big, hunky white guy.

Could you imagine if he was a little old Chinese guy, which is some, which is a lesser form of life, which I'm sorry, is what we're doing in this movie. No, and you're not wrong, but there is just something about, oh, yes, here's two black women in the old west. And that's how you, that's how you look, Sam. So figure out how they live, Sam, Dr. Samuel Beckett. Which also, like, what part of this of the RIPD? Like, it's also similarly, like, you know, why would you have an old, an old man and a hot bodacious babe? And later the Stinger joke, if there is almost Stinger joke,

of Ryan Reynolds turns into a little six-year-old girl later at the end of the movie. Like, that just limits their investigative abilities, which is what you want them there for at the first place. But by the way, this is reminding me because they also drive a car that says the V. V-V-C-R repair on the side of it, which is, this is now this VCR repair shop that they enter, they use it to enter into the regular world. Through the turlet. This is fucking the Matrix.

This is the Matrix. Dial-in. This is the Matrix. Well, it's the last time you had a VCR repaired. Is anyone still in the theater? That was a joke. I made a VCR. Hey, you getting popcorn.

Hey, Fat Body. You hear me make fun of VCRs? It's just. so fucking terrible and I at this point going forward I will be announcing things that the prequel undoes from this movie. That's exciting. Because I just can't

believe you had the privilege of making RIPD too. And it's like I said it's as if you didn't even watch RIPD I have no respect for the tradition. Well speaking of tradition much like Robert Nepper my tradition I also eat gold

when I'm about to run. Yes. So Robert Nepper just starts shoveling fucking pieces of gold down his mouth to and runs his ass right out of a window slim picking style Jeff Bridges rides Ryan Reynolds to the bottom of the pavement

to beat this guy and then can people see this? Can people see a bodacious babe? I think that that's what they can see what you would say you are watching a bodacious babe ride James Hong out of a fucking sky scraper on the ground. It's physics because like literally it took me a while figure that out even like because like

the physicality means nothing like they just bounce around like little ping pong balls like why do they need avatars at all? Why aren't they just invisible only to the fucking deados or whatever? I don't know that would make a ton of sense. There'd be less jokes. Stephen. True. There's a line about how their guns won't work

against the living but they do get yelled at for their driving ability. Someone says learn to drive bimbo. Can he actually can can Jeff Bridges hit a living person with a car in this world. I think he would, yeah.

Absolutely. You could kill someone's ass. You could actually kill so. Yes. And he could eat someone's ass. If he wanted to, just to answer your question, which I know is your next question is going to be. He could go to a bathroom. Eternal, not internal.

Eternal affairs would then be called. Yes. They were like, all right, dude. You have eaten three asses on your last assignment. You are now going. Oh, Roger's Billy go to that last dash. Well, hey, my love. is dead, but my sex life doesn't have to be.

And I told you, I can't taste nothing. I just like the mouth feel. I love it. Just get me in them cakes. Also, the thing, here's another thing that's fucking dumb about that prequel. And I guess just the bathroom is the proud tradition of the RIPD. Because when we are coming back from the afterlife in that prequel, that again, is said in the Old West,

you better believe burn notice is blasting up through an outhouse. Oh, that's great. Oh, yeah, they call it the rest in peace department. I call it the ribbon incredible peaches department.

That's what I come down for. Ribbon some peaches. That's goody. I can't ever taste your ass, pushy or crack. It just means you can go for longer. It means that you can be the best of eating peaches, eating bananas, anything you like.

Have you ever been vaginally fucked? I have because I'm a bodacist babe now. That's a great question. You try to fuck this bodacious babe. Yeah, there's got to be something. Yeah, of course. I'm beyond gender now. If there's anything the RIPD strives for it, you know, it's fucking accuracy.

So you better believe those avatars have genitalians. It just doesn't make any God damn. Why would they look like anything? They wouldn't look like anything. No. It would just be, but I guess it's just because they don't want to do the men in black thing. Like they have to differentiate it a little bit. So it's not

that they're just there and they can make people forget. It's high concept comedy. Oh, really? Just have to let go and go with it. But the whole MIB neuralizer thing is something that is super missing from this movie because there's like, I'm not

going to go to the extent and say there's like 75 9-11s at the end of this movie, but it is a It's a huge. It is a daggum. All you got to do is like, oh, I'm going to possess those people and then put that memory in their subconscious. Maybe they'll dream about it. I mean, you got to figure out something because like there's buildings falling down. There's all this other shit. We see a news report at one point where the newscasters straight up is like, there is a thing going around Boston that I can describe as nothing short of a monster. Get a nobody to be the guy like, oh, this is Rick. Rick is our guy who just makes people forget things.

Yep. And he's just, right. And he's got like Dorito dust on him. And you can get one of the nobodies. You know how I know? Because Mike O'Malley plays a main character in this fucking movie. Absolutely. Absolutely.

You can get nobody. You know nobody. Well, I was kind of surprised. Like, yeah, whatever. Robert Nepper, the gold, he dies. They find the gold. And like Ryan Reynolds wants to investigate it. So he's like, don't you have stool pigeon?

we go to Michael Malley who the scene starts We're at Fenway Park And it's like ladies and gentlemen David Ortiz And I'm like are we doing full men in black Like is David Ortiz going to be a deado That would have been something

That would be something But I think at that point though Ed Solomon's got a lawsuit Or the men in black comic people have a lawsuit But who's somebody who's like Everybody around them is dying or wants to die Oh John Landis John Landis is a deado. He's a famous deado. There you go.

Oh, dude, whenever it happens, he will do anything he can do escape judgment. Wait a minute. Why does John Landis always have a St. Christopher's medal around his wrist? I don't know. What is this? I can't believe my new partner at the RIPD is the guy who made the Blues brothers. That'll be something. That's like the RIPD Hollywood homicide. There you go. And your son is a sex criminal. And Mike O'Malley is a guy that loves the Red Sox that's an informant.

They allow to be a debto in order for an exchange of information, which seems to not be going well. He's a rat, really. And now there's a runner now because in the last scene, Jeff Bridges lost his cowboy, had it. I lost my hat. Now I'm trying on, you know what, the rest of the movie's going to be a fun hat bond. The series of stupid hats. Here's a stupid hat and a stupid face to go along with you. At one point, he puts on a plain red baseball cap.

Rethinks it pretty quick. But it's crazy, man, like 10 years before. And, you know, I was just like, yeah. Like, I'm sorry for, you know, red hats everywhere. Only three. No, only three years. Yeah. Oh, you're right.

Fuck. Probably two. Yeah, yeah. Coming down that escalator, that fat fuck. I don't care I'll say Give me one star On the apps

Actually, quick question Can these deados vote That's a Ooh That's how Joe Biden Got elected in Georgia Okay All the deados

Going out Voting Democrat I noticed a lot of James Hongs voting for And all these bodacious babes You know they look like

Jeff Bridges You just know it Who do you think votes by mail They're dead people They're deados. They're trying to get the staff of Jericho. Santa's little helper.

A couple of the lassies. Snowball one and two. Diamond and silk. Oh, which one's dead? So Michael Malley, like he gives him the gold. He's like, yeah, yeah, look into this. And then like immediately they follow him. And he gives it to Kevin Bacon.

Like, well, that's odd. Yes. Now there's a plot for him. Something, something, man. Like, ooh, isn't this intrigue? And it's a weird thing where Jeff Bridges, like, I mean, I guess because he comes from the old West and there's a different time,

but like he doesn't understand what like detective work is. It was so bizarre. Like, you've been doing this shit for how many decades? So literally your job is just to go around asking people about Indian food and then shooting them in the face. Like you do that day in and day out without any investigatory or any kind of intellectual

pursuit whatsoever. Oh, well, you sure have been here before Indian food was invented. It was a real. Hell. Right now, I think Jeff they follow Kevin Bacon who got the piece of gold from the informant and he goes to Ryan Reynolds's

wife house. Oh, it's the trafficker. He's fucking your wife. What is shit? I mean, again, like a really shitty thing to say. Here's a classic 2010's joke. Unless she's coming to your house to scrub the porn off your computer. Which a whole

classy move if that's the case. fucking hilarious, and my wife pointed this out, like, because he has just come from not understanding detective work. Yes. She was like, well, how is it that scrubbing internet pornography of a laptop is something he's completely aware of?

Well, that's, I mean, clearly he's reading Time magazine every week just to get the broad points of what's happening in culture, because he does have a few big ones like that. You can jerk off as as a ghost in the RIPD, because he's having sex. He's having text of what's his person? Because he's probably. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I guess you can. So, I mean, you know, wait for judgment. A hundred years. You can jerk off all you. I don't know. If you're a, that's not a bad idea. Right. If you're a ghost.

It's like a vapegris. It goes to cop, first of all. First of all, Eric, you have to be cop. You have to become a cop. Yes, of course. But no, I think this is this goes for all afterlife. Okay. Individuals.

Okay. My question is. Dust, you come dust. If you're a good, no. That's not your question. That's your department. That's your department. I can not give a fuck.

All I see it. R-I-C-D over there. Oh, the R-I-C-D, the Eric Siska's the rest in-coms department. Wait, wait, wait, please, you had a serious point. If you're a ghost and you're looking at internet pornography, is that kind of like you're always in

like incognito mode? Because you're a ghost that's not going to keep on the history. You can only watch dead porn stars, which turns out as most of them anyway. So they they find Kevin Bacon, goes to her and like this is something that bothers Ryan Reynolds a lot because he's like

hey it looks like your husband was crooked and there's probably some gold under that tree and she's like oh my god I cannot believe he was why would you give a shit also you'd be like I did not even know who he was oh he was a dirty copy he had gold also

that's actually my gold actually that's not my property thank you very much get the fuck off my law I don't see a warrant I see no Warren it turns out I didn't even know who I was married to. You're married to the dude you knew you had money problems. Ryan Reynolds is watching this happen

to be like, whatever. No, he wants to go, to be fair, he wants to go right. Socks. I mean, sure. It's Ryan. But the character does want to go interview. And Jeff Bridges is like, hold it right there. No talking to nobody.

He does it. He does a Lobowski here. He jumps the C-word again. Yeah. He certainly does. Speaking of Labowski, but the Big Labowski will be our feature-length podcast episode on Patreon. Patreon.com slash we hate movies for that premiere episode. Can I tell you by the time this episode comes out? Yes, sir.

That's already out. You can enjoy it right now. Available right this instance. So stop this and go listen to that. So we're going to follow Kevin Bacon and see where he's taking the gold. And wouldn't you know it? He brings it to fucking buzz. himself, Devin Rat Ray.

Is a ghost fence, I guess, is what he is. And which means what exactly? I don't know, Eric. It was driving me fucking nuts. Like, what is the black market for ghosts? And I guess everyone wants Do they do it? What do they need money?

They traded cigarettes? Like, what the fuck? Because you, when you're, well, here's well, if you're a ghost, you don't have to worry about cancer. No, but if you're trading cigarettes, you become a ghost pretty fast. If you're a ghost person that's escaping, judgment. You're living on earth. I guess you would need money to just sort of, I guess you wouldn't matter because you would have to eat. I don't know, it's very complicated. I mean, you don't want to just be wandering the streets. Even if you don't sleep, you want a place where you can just watch TV. That's another thing is, are you capable, once you smell the cumin, are you able to go back to normal version of yourself? I think once you pop, you can't stop much like Pringles. Like you're just some dumbass and you just decide to have chili and you're a dead of. and you're just out for good now.

Ohio is this not happening all the time. Like everywhere. And the thing too is the people on earth can see these monstrosities. Also something that shouldn't be part of it. It's like, nope. They should turn into slimers and like nobody can see it or whatever.

You turn it. Yeah, exactly. You turn into a literal ghost and you're flying all over the place. And shit, maybe you do slime some people. He slimy me! Why not? We're definitely doing ghost buses here. So like basically they cornered Devin Rat Ray

and they're like about to give him the Indian food thing. And he's like, oh, fuck it. And he kind of just, he inhales it. And then he turns into Big Fat Spider-Man. Why can he scale walls, ladies and you're a- Magic.

I'm over here. I'm going to be saying that. Chris Kavan. You said magic. Can we alter that? Just add on a little bit. Ghost magic. Magico.

Like a Jeddo. Good question. RAPD-2. Sure. Are the deados still pop out in such a way? I'm talking about this. They don't really. Like Richard Brick is kind of like the head villain.

And he kind of like, you know, gets a little something. Yeah. It's not, it's not, it's not where near rat ray turning into a big monster. They don't turn into fat CGI things now. And God damn, what a waste of Richard Brake who's having a little break of Sons. A little break of Sons. Yeah. I was yearning for him to be in a fucking basement apartment.

I guarantee now, because Barbarian is so huge, Richard Brake could not go to a hardware store anymore. Like it's just like, he just like, he just like, he just like, he just like, he just. just can't do it. He has to send somebody else. It's like, shit, I need garden shears. So you think he walks into a home depot and someone screams like, he's keeping women in his basement.

You're the basement guy. Right? You're the basement guy. He fucked his own daughter. I'm actually a nice British man. I don't do any of that. I saw that barbarian, dude. You were sitting down to that basement with that big tinted mons. And you are

American. Not British. But actually it's not... Isn't that that killer? No, that's another movie I was seen. I bet he had a VCR repaired recently because he's watching those tapes of him with redhead gas station.

No, no, no. That was all a movie, you see. I was in a movie. Holy shit, did you kill the Wains? I'm not even sorry for what I did. You said some fucked up shit in doom, fella. Yes, I'm a working actor. Why didn't you help Nicholas Cajun, Mandy?

Why didn't you tell him what he needed to know? His fucking wife burns by the cult, you asshole. And you needed a tiger hanging out there with you? That's just Andrea Reisbrose. She's a very lovely woman who's still actually alive. That campaign was fucked up. She should be card-feathered for that nomination. As you see, now, Bobby, you must go to Home Depot.

Bobby Break must go to... A little Bobby Break going to Home Depot. You must go to Lowe's in Home Depot. and hope that they haven't checked what my family looks like. Hey, it's basement guy's son. You're famous. You come to buy some nails

to lock up some doors with women in them. Whatever, a great movie. He's, whatever, like, now we're back to the beginning. This is where I got off kind of a thing. Yeah, I fucking. hate like we're catching up

to the movie. Remember when the movie started it's here? And he's like scaling buildings. People are screaming like people are screaming and the funny thing is like he goes through a boardroom and like everyone's like throwing up and then like Jeff Bridges walks by and everyone's like

oh I'm going to jerk off to that sexy fucking lady. It's like he flies up because he's like attached to to buzz. What's the needle drop? Oh I don't even remember. Every time that she comes. There's a needle drop every time that she that everybody's like oh my

is it let's get it on it might I think it might be just that guitar with every time it happens like five times in this movie it is incredible in this part though because yeah he's hanging on to buzz and he's getting dragged all over the place and yeah he goes through this office all these people are screaming

shit in their pants the whole thing and then bridges as the babe is standing there and like yeah this guy's fucking cock is hard I'm like weren't you like wasn't it fucking inside you when that monster came through the office? Well, yes, but I've never seen a bodacious babe

dragged on a carpet before. It just, and the ball's got a rumbling. I had to go. And then we get the elevator set piece and then the dude gets away. They're called back. And then it's just like, oh, an eternal affairs has to look into it. I love how like in this dumbass thing, we are getting like, we're so beholden

to the cop movie now. that here's the scene where the brass is suspending them for the craziness. There's a, you know, IAB-esque hearing that's going to happen. God talks to them through these fucking, I don't know, these little tubes

like a bank. Like a bang. That's a joke that's literally 20 years too late. Banks, I can't imagine banks. Nobody does that. They don't do that anymore, right? You just go to an ATM. You can do all your banking. Steve, speaking of Spider-Man, didn't the, isn't it in Spider-Man where also the Hives is soundtracked while they're doing, like,

also I love the hives, but whenever they show up on a soundtrack, be forewarned, you are about to see the worst shit you've ever seen in your life. Every time that it's, it's, it's a soundtrack the worst scenes. Because it's just like, have it fun. It's like, no, or not. No, we're not. Nobody is. Objection. No or not. They're not. They're going to erase Ryan Reynolds and Jeff Bridges because they fucked this up. So bad. Even though. this thing is clearly happening all the time all over the world if deados are a worldwide phenomenon

and so Ryan Reynolds goes to the track where his wife runs at night and like just approaches her and he touches her chin and she's like oh my god it's a Ryan Reynolds no he's James honk I must run away I must

run away oh congratulations you're freaking around it's kind of hilarious because like when we start this scene this woman is just running and it's very like measured exercise running you know and then when she gets like spooked by james hung and they cut to this huge like wide shot of the whole track and she's running away and like her arms are hilariously flailing like she's like she's running away from cocaine bear i am not going to try i will not be trying in this no i don't i won't be a character in the movie

but i'm running away i think that like The better way to do this scene, I mean, is to not make the movie at all. But the better way to do the scene is to have it be James Hong who can act. Like, if he looked at her like, oh, my God, like, you know, just like, hey, James Hong, because your wife. Convince her, convince her and convince us the audience. And, like, you know, he, like, gives her a look, you know, to be, like, a haunted look. Like, he could do that.

He gets all in her face and he's like, I'm going to say the thing that I said to you, the night that we got married, Cartwright, four. I mean it's just like He is a great actor And he could do something And this was one of those moments Because they do give him like A single sentence here or something

And I was like Oh cool he's gonna start talking Oh no no no it's just Ryan Reynolds again Uh oh Well because they don't have the confidence Like a confident production would be like Okay just let James Hong Get the work do the thing

Yes But they have to remind you that it's Ryan Reynolds But also this movie is reminding you of shit like six times we have to stop the movie for them to be like

Ryan Reynolds was corrupt you're right well what do you mean we only spent the first fucking 10 minutes but this is

Chris you have to understand this is the all hope is lost segment of the film sure we get the end in back too you're right they have to go and like

mope about shit and this is also where we get Jeff Bridges with the squeeze box but like I don't be so hard on yourself I was skull

fucked by coyotes Jeffrey just got a swiss boss Ron Raskin's seat at night Which also Him describing his own death Is not what happens in the prequel But just like by the slightest little differences And the details

Which is like even more frustrating Because it's like you knew You know that his body was taken off by coyotes Which they do tell you in this prequel But in the prequel he is Parts of him were left behind and they did bury those. And this movie's like,

they dragged my whole corpse to a cave and skull fuck. I've got ghost dementia. That didn't happen. Also, like, so was like, instead of his funeral, like he came down as Jeff Bridges goes, like,

look at his corpse getting skull fucked by, like, come on, stop it. Hey, get away from there. Get out. Get gone.

Oh, you finished. Great. Came all over my brain. What were the RIPD doing back then, killing coyotes? Like, is that we're the coyotes? They were rounding up Richard Brake. Of course.

He is, he is shot in the back by a matter of $80? By maybe by a matter of $80. By something like crooked mayor in the movie that's working for Richard Break. And then they blame this other like train robber guy on it. And that guy like gets, that guy's like a deado, but he winds up being like, like a good deado by the end of the movies. Do not worry about any type

of spoilers for that movie because it's sub-history channel. The way it looks is awful. God, like, worse than community theater. Honestly, there was one of the worst movies I've ever seen. It's terrible. Oh, I mean, some of the deados are kind of good.

Kind of makes sense. Kind of like Thanos. Not a Thanos deado here. Also, what's crazy, because I was just thinking about so around here, they're like, you know, This is where we get the whole thing about, like, if they assemble this thing, what it's going to do is open up the hole in the afterlife and reverse the flow of souls and the dead will come back to Earth. Can I tell you and get shocked as fuck?

That's literally what they're fighting up against in the prequel. It's another thing where Richard Brakes is trying to open a hole in hell and bring the dead back. It's the same thing. It's also Ghostbusters. Yes, yeah, totally. I mean, also Ghostbusters at the end of the day. but I couldn't believe when I'm watching this today I was like, why does this sound so familiar?

I haven't seen this movie in 10 years. It's because it's literally they made that the plot of the prequel. It doesn't make any sense also because the next thing is like, hey, let's have a movie. So Ryan Reynolds and Jeff Bridges. Jeff Bridges confront Kevin Bacon in his house. And Kevin Bacon's like, I know that you're Jeff Bridges under there for some reason, but I want to fuck you be you the sexy lady. What's that I don't even mean?

I have no idea. And then he takes off the model of St. Christopher and his house turns to shit. And then it's like, why do you want to bring back the dead? He's like, because then it'll all be dead and we can all stay here forever. And I'm like, well, what does that mean? What does that mean? And also what happened?

Did you get offered a job at RIPD? Like, what is your story? I think it doesn't it. It was dead. And then like he just escaped like any other bad dead. Okay. Yes. And then he blank.

We'll fill that in late. later. And now he's here. That's what's hilarious, right? Because he says, like, yeah, I shouldn't have to go to hell because I took some money for whatever his crooked cop crimes were. He believed he didn't have to go to hell for them. And he just, like, ran and became a deado. But when we see Ryan Reynolds, like, he's floating up there or whatever. There's no moment where he's like, oh, I'm going to turn away. There's no, like, decision making thing. And in fact, he's just like yanked into the RIP. Yes. So like, what is the, you?

When Kevin Bacon's talking about this in the house You need a flashback I want to see Kevin Bacon Get a person escape Yes like Kevin Bacon gets killed on the job And this whole And you see him fucking run away and become a dead You have to because otherwise

It's just the same thing as Ryan Reynolds And why wasn't Kevin Bacon recruited to be in the RIPD And what we also realize is It's 2013 Dark Night has come out Spectre came out The villain has to give himself up Yep to be imprisoned Avengers as well but it was all part of his master plan, you see.

So he goes into the RIPD office with all of his deado friends and they all have pieces of the gold thing and up their ass, I guess is the idea. Not only that, these mini-orbs things, the broken or two halves of like a little Death Star model or something. Yes, it does look like the Dead Star. And that freezes the RIPD in their tracks for some reason. Yeah, I don't know. He just is like, ah, look what I did.

It's a magic thing. Exactly. There's tons of magic from back in the day. That is an insane thing that Kevin Bacon says, though, because he is straight up, like, I found a thing that it freezes all the RIPD cops, but it doesn't affect deados. And he's literally like, isn't it? They got a crazy spell for everything in the afterlife. And I was like, what in the shit are you talking about? So they get all the pieces of the staff and then escape.

And now it's like the last act of the movie. Yep. We're in, yes. I mean, like, literally, these deados are running around, stomping on people. I mean, you know, this is a straight up fucking, like, monster attack. It's like a really tiny version of like Pacific Rim. There's all these fucking monsters running around the city of Boston. Yeah.

Not since a level from Fallout, have I seen stuff like this. and yeah this does also remind me very much of the end of the Avengers movie too because we're building on top of a building a big thing that's got a bit a hole in the sky yep things are coming out of it so this is 2013 we had that first Avengers movie

yeah that's 2012 right we do get like this god how is no one sued the weather pattern of dead people flying around the sky is kind of funny I mean I get that like there's a lot of people on this planet and tons of us die every day but like the volume of souls that we see

flying up from the earth at any point are these fresh when they start to rain down are these fresh kills are they like I don't think it's the fresh kills necessarily so these could be like the old like is it heaven is it hell what is it right could we get yeah could we get like a fucking a joke where it's like

Beethoven or something not the dog oh man he should be in heaven all eight of them I heard all dogs go to heaven. Oh, true. Terribly sad film. Nobody wants to watch that. You know, or fucking, you know,

Ben Franklin. You even do Hitler if you wanted. Like, just something fun. Hitler and Bosnia, he'd fit right in. Oh, yeah, I love the socks. Oh, yes, this is a very nice aquarium. Right on the water, just like this, this is beautiful. Well, I guess he had some good points.

Mind that gotta, those people in this. Southie are very racist. Oh, let's go look for used stuff at Newberry Comics. Did you know that I would want to three bars, got three different pints, and three of my bartenders were bitter against Ben Affleck's

success. Could you believe it? Could you believe it? That one guy hated Ben Affleck. A story for another day. But the, but now, yeah, like, it's coming down. there's some bullshit part of the horse shit prophecy where you need the blood of the enemy

and he's going to use the blood of Julia or Julie whatever the way she's not a character so yeah it is fucking hysterical though because this is another total 11th hour Kevin Bacon being like they're on the roof and he has this woman hostage and he's like you know as these things uh oh excuse me

you know as these things tend to go uh you know you need a human sacrifice bro and I was like, oh, really? As these things tend to go, Kevin Bacon's character, okay. As these movies tend to go, they need stakes. And we are missing them. So as I'm getting older,

I do start to nod off dirt. I kind of started nodded off at the end of this one. I'm sorry. Sure. Well, it's completely understandable. Because it's just so incomprehensible. And like, Jeff Bridges has to do all of this bullshit pulling a fucking truck with his teeth or whatever.

The stakes are so broad where it's like the world is sending in some vague way. Yes. And the comedy is so broad. It cancels each other out. Who gives a fuck about this? Can I tell you, getting older, resolutions, say something nice about the movie.

I think there is a legitimately funny line when they're talking about, like Ryan Reynolds is like, all right, I'm going to go get Kevin Bacon. You take down the thing. And Jeff Bridges says, it goes, that golden peckers coming down. And I was like, you know what? That's fucking.

I think he, you know, because it does look like a big, golden dick by the by being nice to the movie you're being mean to me by making me remember that shit all right just think about him saying it in true grit instead

kind of similar similar ish accents one less eyeball with that character yeah it's sad his name's rooster too his name's not rooster yeah the eyeballs on the RIPD

in that movie go back to that one only one and done really liked it but I only saw the one time in theaters really good good return engagement yeah I want to go back

but yeah something something he throws a truck at it and like you know it got stuck above the fucking shaft and he pulls it down there's all these like holes opening up all over the city these are bouncing around so like yeah there's a bunch of wind and whatnot and this truck just winds up on the top of the building thankfully that's the other thing too actually which bothered me and made me to Eric's point have no interest in this whole movie is the physics doesn't make any sense and like these like aside from

the blue bullet that's going to erase them from existence. They can never get hurt. They can never get sick or anything like that. So like there's no stakes to this fight. It's like I know they're not going to fucking erase Jeff Bridges from existence. Although you know, that'd be nice. Well, I mean, if you're taking it from

the MIB point of view and you want to go that route with it, I mean, that is kind of a natural way for that character to have the MIB Tommy Lee Jones ending of like he gets neuralized and goes back to his wife and whatever. This is like, well, moving on now, finally.

Which, by the way, that is exactly how I remembered this movie. Nope, you were way wrong. Unlike, Steve, I am not always thinking about physics during movies. Oh, you don't say. No, that's not. You thinking about science? No, not, not quite. But I am thinking

what is this cowboy shit I'm about to see? Because Ryan Reynolds's whole thing is, show me some cowboy shit. Yes. And I guess this is supposed to be a lassoing. Oh, yeah, he lasso. But like, they don't do like I want like a full like remembering like the courses

and just like you're totally right dude and you need the score to get all like back to the future three like you know I need like a whole down at home ranch music I really wish folks at home

could have seen Chris mimic the last he was doing the whole thing yeah I was look I put effort into this unless Mr. Unlike Mr. Bridges I would have made sure I was playing whatever this character's name is by the way they do a race

at some point buzz you should make he gets got he gets shot right in the face which is pretty funny another movie that maybe we kind of mentioned here but it's definitely something that they're aping is the classic and I'm not joking I think it's a legitimately great movie ghost and here's the shit where like the end of the movie

his wife gets run through with a pole and so she falls down her blood is falling into the thing so that's why the big golden cock is being activated but so she's like eating shit and so she like kind of dies right here on the roof and she of course sees Ryan Reynolds as Ryan Reynolds because she's like half in half out of this realm so they have their like kiss goodbye and I'm just sitting there

like how long has it been since I saw a ghost definitely do for a rush after this nonsense because he's like in a better movie it would be a thing where he like he does try to hold on to her a little too much but that doesn't come up a ton and then when he finally is like you have to move on find somebody else blah blah blah that would mean something in a movie you know what i mean but it's just

ryan reynolds and a woman that was just like trying to remember her lines for iron man three like all right to get her accent down jay have to go now my planet needs me and then she's in a hospital and there's an old black man doctor that checks in on her that happens to be mary louise parker because it's so funny when that shit gets switched isn't it so it's so funny earlier on in the film one of the desk scenes with her whatever chelsea's watching it. She's doing literally anything else, but I'm watching it in her presence. And she sees Mary Louise Parker and she's like, she won a Tony.

Yeah. So we get to this scene here at the end where she's like pretended to be this doctor and Chelsea just goes, I think it was two Tony's like, what the fuck is she doing? She might be nominated for a couple of Emmys if not one one. Possibly. Right? She was weeds. Yeah, she was all of those weeds. Watch one episode of that and that was more than enough. Oh yeah. you don't do that. But then she's like, yeah, you know what?

So you owe me, you got to see your girlfriend one more, your wife one more time. And you get off with the warning Ryan Reynolds and you, Jeff Bridges, you get an extra 58 years on your sentence. It's like, 58 more years of this shit, I'm going to end it all. I mean, again, you're not sleeping, you're not eating, you're not watching television, you're not reading books. You're only working every single moment.

It's like Jeff Bezos runs the cosmos. He might. He might. I can't even take a. break the piss. Well, okay, but why don't we join the MPD, the marriage, married bliss

department? Because aren't we really in love with each other, Mary Louise Parker? Hasn't that been what this whole movie's about? Really, when you think about it, is me and this lady? Thank God this didn't come out today, because the age gap discourse on that would be huge, right?

He was born in like 1800 and she was probably born in 1960s or something. Well, if she's got the, like, 60-ish boots on, so, like, early 50s. He predates Lloyd Bridges. Just, just slightly. Just a little bit. Just slightly.

But, and then, and I imagine this is because they had a good time on set, Mary Louise Parker. Yep. Is it taking it right? Yeah, Mary Louise Parker and Jeff Bridges. She bites his goatee, like the hair at the end of it. Yep. And it is gnarly, man.

It is some gnarly shade. Yes. She billy goaded me That is sexing her up That I will count Up until then I'm not convinced But then I'm like holy Okay I'm hard

Excellent Yeah she billy goaded me Something we used to do Back when we were dating During the Carter administration Oh she's a famous hair chomper She likes the mouth feel There's also a

There's also a totally dumb thing where this whole movie she's been like proctor Proctor, Procter, Proctor. Ryan Reynolds calls her Ms. Proctor at one point. And he's like, yeah, I can't believe you're really going to be Mildred. Yeah. I was like, all right.

Yeah, of course she has an old lady name. She's a ghost. Mildred Proctor. She wasn't just proctoring a test. She was actually a person with the last name Proctor. It turns out it's the family name. Weird. They exist. I was wondering if it was supposed to be like a Salemy kind of like which,

you know what I mean? Oh. Mildred Proctor, yada, yada. That's something, yeah. That would be something to do. And that's also Boston. Got a little bit of info about our friend Ms. Proctor. I got the first name.

And her ex-boyfriend before me was the devil. A little gentleman by the name of Black Philip, actually. A handsome goat. My girlfriend fucked a goat. Is he Billy Goat? she was part of a I believe it was a band the witches of Ishtwin

Would thou like to live Chumpily So yeah we're biting some beard Hair He gets sentenced for 56 more years Somebody farted and then the credits Yes thank God for that Every character has like their own

accessory like He bridges as the cowboy I had. I think Reynolds has the gun. She's got the boots. Very Louise Parker's boots. Absolutely. Oh, we did already mention it, but the whole gag is the end of it is Jeff Bridges, like,

oh, you hated being the old Chinese, fellas, so I got your new costume from storage. And it's just this little, like, red-headed 12-year-old Girl Scout with headgear braces driving the car. And again, that would be, that would be a problem, wouldn't it? Like, that would get them into less

totally. areas. Yeah. You know, if the next RIPD case is like at a bar. Yeah, like a crooked bar owner. Well, you can't be showing ID. So there is a couple of songs here. Oh, good. Thank God. A remix of Robbins Kanichiewa bitches. A Robin tune I was not aware. I was not aware of a lot of Robin tunes, but I definitely wasn't aware of that one. But then the Robin tune I know is the bird outside.

That's right, dude. Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin Linnag. Oh, that guy's involves. But then Jeff Bridges, and this is how I know. Dude, I turned. I did dutifully scan on Peacostas to see if you saw any images. Yeah, but that was it. I was like, I'm out.

But we were talking, I don't remember where, on second songs. Yes, yes. On soundtracks. At the credits, right? So they do that song, which the, the, Robin's song appears at other points in the movie. Sure. But then the second song that takes you through most of the rest of the credits

is Jeff Bridges singing in like a studio produced version of that song he sings on the squeeze box sitting on the waterfront. Wow, that's a treat for everyone who stayed in the theater. I guess it's like the better man I think is the song. I guess because he likes to do music.

Didn't he make a couple songs with Crazy Heart probably? He put out a record. He put on a record. Yeah. He's beautiful singing voice. It's kind of the best part of the movie. Sure. Because you're not brae-bo-blah-blab-

So the end-credits is the best part of the movie. I think in this case, finally, it's actually true. That is the end of this movie. Final thoughts and recommendations. Eric Sisko.

It is terrible. I, you know what? Honestly, I feel like I had rose-colored tinted lenses thinking back on it. Not that I ever liked it. I never liked it,

but I was just like, Jeff Bridges is fun and affable enough. How bad can this be? I haven't seen it in 10 years. Right. So much worse than I remembered. And I, you know, like, I was fucked up then. I was fucked up now.

So nothing changed. It's just a terrible movie. Please avoid. Sure. Chris Gavin. Oh, yeah. It's terrible. You shouldn't watch it ever.

Also, I would say just, maybe this is just me on this one. Ryan Reynolds movies in general. Just avoid him. Him leading a movie, not a good idea. I would say. What about a co-lead situation? But that's it. That's my exact point.

Okay. He is a co. He is good spice. he go if you add him to a stew it's nice he cannot be the stew he is not the beef he just happens he's just a handsome canadian that's it yeah that's all that happened and like i you just put too much on this guy and now he tries to make all these different movies they all suck and like you're never going to get an adventure land again you're just stuck with this and yeah it it's it pisses you off to watch it do you say that no this is like high concepts with

cheese you need you need to make this make any kind of sense and it still it's still be really bad because the idea again of a police department at the afterlife is fucking bone chilling. But I just don't, it doesn't make any sense. It's not fun and it ages really, really

poorly. Totally. Here's a question because I kind of chop these, or you know, combine these two movies in my head as far as like dumb as donkey dick movies based on comic books I will never in a thousand fucking lifetimes read. Which is worse? Are I

PD or Jonah Hex Ooh RIPD Jonah Hex Oh no Worst you said Yeah which is the worst Oh RIPD is much worse

Jonah Hex No no Oh god damn Take Jonah Hex anything On this Stump and say that No I think I'm gonna go

With Jonah Hex as well I think that movie Has a lot of silly bullshit in it Yeah By a Billy Goats hair Yeah Exactly

At least like Jeff Bridges Is kind of fun In this movie Yes And I think that there's nothing in Jonah Hex. This is what's crazy, though. I think I agree with you, but in Jonah Hex, it walks and talks a little bit like a movie. A little bit more.

A little bit more coherent by a lot. But then on the other side of it, yeah, Bridges is actually fun. Whereas in that movie, you got John Chalko Snitch as the bad guy and Brolins, the Jonah Hex and thing. You got the Foss Bender. as like his weirdo psycho. You got Will Arnett as like a union officer for five seconds. I mean None of it. None of it gets to the level of

bridges which again like yeah like he thought the movie was weak sauce. He was disappointed with the cut but he clearly had fun making it. By the way Jonah Hex previous episode. If you haven't heard that one you can go back and hear us say the same kind of shit about that movie.

And I'll just I'll just clarify this movie's dog shit. Also the sequel is dog shit sequel. Yeah. Uh, don't bother with any of it. And I'm sorry for anybody out there who's like a legit RIPD comic fan. I don't know anything about nothing with that. But I mean, they got to be out there. There's got to be one.

And if you were bummed down, I'm sorry you know, that that movie sucks shit. And if you like this movie, that's okay too. And if you see Richard Brake at any hardware store, he's just going there for legitimate reason. He probably has to clock his tub. It's okay. He's fixing his house up while everyone else

left. The tub's leaking. He's not imprisoning women in his basement. He might We just need a light ball, folks. Yeah, totally. Sometimes you go there for that. That is our episode on RIPD, the Rest and Peace Department. If you want more, we hate movies, check out patreon.com slash we hate movies. There is indeed a We Love Movies episode, all about Jeff Bridges in the Big Lobowski,

available right now. What are we doing for AD this month? You know what? I've been dicking around it far too long. I think we're doing gargoyles. We're going to do an episode of gargoyles. Good cartoon. Yeah.

So it's kind of, it might be a we love animation. damnation, whatever, but or maybe it's not being some fucking sick Keith David voice acting. No, that's exciting. Oh, hell yeah. What are we doing over on the Gleap Glossary? The Gleap Glossary, the 50th episode. Oh, Gleap Glossary is over the hill now,

dude. It is over the hill. So that's what the critics are saying also on Reddit. But we're going to be doing Count Duku. Hell yeah. And I thought about this for multiple reasons. Obviously, Christopher Lee is great. But he's sort of, he's not

in it, but like Count Duku is kind of important to the new season of the bad batch. Oh, okay. Plus. Okay. I decided to give that another shot, by the way. I went back and watched the first episode, which is like 76 minutes. I got to say, I was surprised the, I watched some of the new season. It's that, I was never a fan of the 3D animation, but it's looking way better. Interesting. It's looking better this year. So, you know, tying to that and tying just for a love of Duku in general. we're going to be talking duku and this month also

we have welcoming it back i miss it every month we don't have it once in a lifetime returns with a what sleep what is this sleepwalking in suburbia is that correct that is correct yes now eventually so they do this sleepwalking movie about a woman's sleepwalking and all the trouble she gets into with that yep uh eventually she enters the stuff the doctor's universe sleep sleepwalkers nightmare. A sleepwalkers nightmare. So, yes, eventually

it will all collide because we've done all the stalked by my doctor movies until this. But after we do this movie, we can eventually do that movie. We will finally do. Dr. Beck attacks or the biggest crossover event of whatever the day it was released on. Well, we didn't want people to be confused

if we went right into the next store by my doctor. Sure. The world building that lifetime has been doing. Yeah, you don't know the story of this lady that sleepwalks and fucks a neighbor and it's pregnant, which I think is what the plot is special said. Sounds right. We also will have another Melro 2-1-0.

Hell yeah. Well, I'm sure it will involve a lot of fucking as it tends to do these things. And fucking's not just stopping there. It's also on the Nexus, our Star Trek recap podcast. Absolutely. We talk about an episode of TOS and an episode of TNG. Last month, for instance, was a lot of fun. The great riff there

about the Three Stooges having sex. So it's not just Star Trek, you're only getting half the experience by not being a patron. That's right. And on this main feat, next Tuesday, brand new episode, Steve, what are we talking about? We were talking about sleepless in Seattle, I believe. Just in time for Valentine's Day. Get ready to get creepy.

Yeah, baby, make sure your son gets you a wife. I'm excited. I've never seen this, but I can't wait for the... Really? I guess the creepitude that's involved. You've never seen Sleepless in Seattle? Why would I watch Sleepless? That's a good point.

It's Tom. I love Tom Hanks. No, but it's Eric. I mean, I guess, yeah, Eric. Nothing to do with Tom Hanks. Yeah. No, I just hate Seattle Ever since we got

supposed to do a show there years ago And that didn't happen So that's got a grudge Yeah, I see Steve, are you double checking That that that is indeed the episode And we're good to go Hey you know what

It's it's fair to check We do a lot here on WeA movies Including over on YouTube.com slash we ate movies Every Monday at noon Eastern We are doing on screen live Where we are talking Entertainment news

Box office receipts Trailer reactions Shit we're watching In theaters and otherwise a lot going on there you don't want to miss that the live experience I don't want to take all the energy out of the room but I just got some disturbing news on the phone

DC's Pennyworth has been canceled Oh no Oh no no no no seriously we have to get off to Wait so is that Jesus Christ Well does that colon I want to be clear We were recording this on February 1st Cohen Batman's butt Butler is a butt butt butler

We'll never know how it becomes batman's This clearly is going to derail the plan for pennyworth a colon a pennies worth a pennyworth movie uh you know what we're just gonna have to get out of here and go more and and rewatch some pennyworth so cry maybe we'll be back if we can fucking manage a conversation that's a gut punch that's a gut punch i'm disgusted you know what until next week i'm andrew jupin i guess i'll have to be stephen say to say to Eric Siska. I'm not saying my name.

Rest in peace, Alfred Pennyworth. That was a hate gum podcast.