We Hate Movies - S13 Ep664: Equilibrium

Episode Date: March 14, 2023

This week on the show, Listener Request Month continues as the guys do their best to hide all emotion while discussing the completely dreadful sci-fi romp, Equilibrium! How did they botch that book size bit? Why were pillows outlawed in this society? And how much of a disgusting shit boy (DSB) is this little son? PLUS: Freddy Krueger returns after the citizens of Libria finally stop taking their dream suppressants—and he’s underwhelmed at the quality of dead meats! Equilibrium stars Christian Bale, Taye Diggs, Sean Pertwee, William Fichtner, Angus Macfadyen, Sean Bean, and Emily Watson as Mary O’Brien; directed by Kurt Wimmer. Tickets on sale now for our shows in San Francisco and Los Angeles! Check out the WHM Merch Store featuring new Grab-Ass & Cancer, SW Crispy Critters, MINGO! & WHAT IF Donna? designs! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/whm and get on your way to being your best self. Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

this week on the program it's like THX 1138 for idiots it's equilibrium I'm Andrew Jupin Stephen Sadek Eric for idiots a cleric cabin and we hate movies Hello, everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in. As always, that's right. We are talking about Kurt Vimmer's 2002 directorial effort, equilibrium. And they ought to call this guy Kurt Dimmer. Can I just Can I offer the audience Another version of exactly what you said

Because I have it in my notes Oh please Oh no no for Andrew actually It's like Fahrenheit 451 But for morons Oh there you go Well here about this dude It's like Fahrenheit 450 dumb

Even better It's beautiful I can imagine the poster now With Christian Bale's sharp face right on the thing 450 dumb Or you know even dumber than Fahrenheit 9-11. How about that?

1980 bore. Oh, that's not a good one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like this. A more like a grave new world. I don't know. That's good. Grave New World's kind of, I don't know.

It's a little too spooky. It's just grave meaning like not very good. If there was a movie called Grave New World and it was like a picture of like a planet with a giant tombstone on it, I would be buying a ticket. way more excited than I would be for whatever this is. And the poster certainly didn't excite me back in the day. Was this everybody's first time with this? No, no. I saw this on

video. I rented this when it came out. Really? A buddy of mine, who I loved dearly, who collected samurai swords for a little bit, was very into this film. And just sat me

down. Sat let's watch it. Yes. And it didn't work out. friendship over at the time and even like this was like this is like me in 2002 who was an idiot

you know what I mean like liking the movie Boondock Saints in the height of that era of Stephen Sadek I was still like this is kind of dumb and I watched it like

two or three years ago to say hey maybe this is for the show and it was so much worse and then watch it now so it's like three times and each time like the movie the middle of this movie

is such an immersive slog like it's just it starts with some verb the ending is stupid city but at least it's got some action in it or whatever but like the middle of this movie is a mess I mean quite a lot of it is a mess I don't think you have to

single single portion I mean it's all very exciting messiness I was not bored I gotta say by any of this it is my first time seeing it and I just watched it at home but I mean honestly Steve it sounds like you had

the ideal setting for this movie is to be with somebody who really likes swords telling you how great this movie is while you're watching it. That seems like the perfect way to watch it. And also smoking weed right outside of its podcast. Oh, of course. You got to do it.

At least there's Christian Bale. And, like, yes, it's like a Xerox of every sci-fi story, but there's sort of... I feel like there could have maybe been something if they developed... It's hard to develop characters when no one can feel, I guess. Yeah.

Andrew, was this your first run? Oh, this is my first and only time I'll ever watch this movie. I super despised every second of this experience. I'll tell you what, I'll tell you right now. I will tell you right now how you know you are fucking failing with your little gunfight movie. Because every fucking time a gun went off or a fucking punch got thrown, I was like, oh shit, guns and punching are in this movie.

I kept fucking forgetting that, This was a movie where there's literally a fighting style called Gun Kata. Like, holy fuck. How do you fuck up that bad making a gun and punch movie that I forgot guns and punching were in it? Unbelievable this movie. I want to see like a one-sheet poster saying starring guns and punching. I mean, they have more presents than Tay Diggs in this movie. That's not Tay Diggs' fault.

Oh, man. No, he's playing. He's supposed to be bad. That's what's so funny about his character And also Angus McFadden Who oh man Please you want to talk about a haunted A haunted filmography

He's a house of horrors Can't catch a break He really can't He was because he's this He's the fucking kangaroo monster movie What else has he been in? Eric is he the Fat benefactor from

Lost City of Z? I think he is. I think that's the only thing good I've seen this. He's Robert the Bruce and Braveheart. That's the big guy. You are correct.

Chris. And I also want to say he is in that not good but incredibly watchable HBO Rat Pack movie. He plays Peter Lawford. I feel like Ray Leota

as Frank Sinatra slaps him around a little bit. Not too shabby. Not too shabby. Also, don't forget his role as Joe. in the Saw movies Honestly, it's his career

started out. His career started off with a real bang playing Robert the Bruce and Braveheart, my lord. That's a huge one. That's a huge deal. I mean, the first thing that I will say about this, because this was my first time, and it opens this

font that you have the title with, it is like the beer brand beer of a type. Like, it's just like, this is your equilibrium. I enjoy it. Ariel Black, I think we call that. Before we get too ahead of ourselves,

I want to press play real quick. No, you don't. No, no, it's the listener request month. We should play the call. So I will press play real quick. Here we go. Yeah, yeah, do my dinner. Indeed, indeed,

someone granted us the fucking gift of watching this movie for listener request month. So here we go. Take it away, caller. Hey, gang, this is Evan from Portland. Oregon, and I must be talking to four Grammaton clerics, highly skilled in the art of Gunata, because you have managed to dodge doing Kurt Wimmer's equilibrium for your over 10 years on the air. Join Christian Bale in his audition for Batman, and Tay Biggs, and he struggled to not be gorgeous and charming.

Get ready for the movie that saw The Matrix and took away the wrong lessons about leather trench coats. So burn your paintings, take your pills, and tread softly, for you tread on my dreams. man yeah there you go thank you Evan thank you Evan thank you Evan Librium that was better than parts of this film

I will say a whole 30 minutes of this movie that I would have preferred to listen to that again that was tighter as a production Andrew can I can I make a guess here because I know you very well sure does some of this rage come from the dog slaughter scene

no it actually doesn't man and I'll tell you I mean that that I was like man oh it's absolutely unnecessary and stupid but the movie I mean the movie had already lost because here's the kind of science fiction that I really like hate the most is when you can just feel like the creator really thinks they're saying something and it's just all nothing and this movie's just nothing it's dumb guy being

smart. Yeah, it's like a high school kid read 1984 and was like, me do a movie like that with, I don't know, gun and maybe short. Also, Steve, by the way, your buddy who shall not be named that was loving the swords at the time. What a disappointment man, so few sword play scenes in this movie. I will say the one the sword finally, because I remember more swords and I was like, oh, it's only the last one. Yeah. And Andrew, you know, you know who that is. You know Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I know.

It's just, it's so, but I, it is, there's so much like at the beginning, it's like, equilibrium. This is the worst opening fucking narration. Like, what is this? This is the world, World War III. Beat, beat, beat, beat, beat, beat, a fourth cannot happen. Like, it goes, I thought the thing like, stop. I thought like, stop. I thought like, I had. that problem with my audio because it goes on for so long between when you're finishing the fucking thought. Chris Kevin can I tell you there's

there's one part later in this movie where Christian Bail is speaking and like he's he's like very measured and dull because that's what every fucking person in this movie has to play their character like and at one point I'm not even kidding you my fucking Apple

rental froze and I thought it was just the movie and I was like all right come on just fucking say the rest of the line. And it was seriously, like, a good five seconds before I realized it broke. I actually was afraid mine broke because the, what do you call it there? The scene when he goes in, and like the first scene when he raids everybody, goes into darkness.

And, like, that lasts for like 30 seconds. And you're like, yep, what are we doing? It's artistic, Steve. That opening narration also says we have to escape our volatile natures. And they show Stalin and Saddam Hussein. Yeah, big buddies. There are big buddies. And yes, Saddam dating it as a 2002 release. But also, are they known for being that emotional? Is that their problem?

Yeah, I was going to say, Stalin just off the handle all the time. Just but a hot, red hot blooded. That's the message is so muddled. And we're also doing in a big bad way, which annoys the fucking piss out of me. Oh, man, here. You know what those pharmaceutical people are putting in their, Valiums and they want to get everyone addicted to their pills. It's not about like regulating your mental medical chemistry. It's that fucking big fucking farmer.

This is exactly what people, you know, the COVID-19 deniers believe that Pfizer is up to. And that's why they need every gun in the world, maybe a couple cool swords. Oh, yeah. But they never go to Father's House. No, they don't. Well, they're too busy doing chicken gada. Well, that's the thing. I've assessed the room.

There's dips all across this buffalo wild wings, and I'm going to be dipping my chicken in each one real fast. I got the lemon pepper before you even saw me get it. The geometry of me dipping and eating chicken is unprecedented. Countless footage of people eating chicken, and now I know how to do it super fast and tactical. You used to have some mango habanero, but I took it from you. That's chicken coddle.

that's knowing how to eat chicken before your opponent even knows his sauce is there. A fat guy sliding down a Buffalo Wild Wings just dipping as he goes down the table. In a black trench coat. Guys, you know, here's the

thing. You're joking, but right now you are inspiring the next commercial for that abysmal fucking chicken chain. Oh, I hope so. No doubt about it. No doubt about it. It's sometime in the next fucking five years you will see a dude sliding down the fucking bar in slow motion, like, you thought you couldn't try every flavor of chicken wing and buff of wild

rings. But what have you practiced chicken counter? And he's sliding and dip in. Maybe a yehaw gets thrown. Oh, man. In a future where you cannot show your hunger. Finally, a hero says no. Yeah, yeah. And instead of a leather trench coat, he's in a garbage bag. They eliminated all dipping sauces except only milds are allowed it's not human anymore honestly that would be a problem if we got rid of spicy stuff yeah I'm rising up

yeah that's that would do it I think that's honestly that is my my biggest problem with this movie like so we find out that this is a world where you can you cannot have emotions you're taking something called prosium it's not prozac

no no no no no no it's prosium which you inject it valium No. Maybe it's one or the other. By the way, it's prosium two because Prozium 1 had some real problems with it. Yes. People were just killing each other out in the street. It's the rage virus

from 28 days later. You know, I'm so thrilled to no longer have emotions. Did you have like violent diarrhea yesterday? Yeah, I did. I really did. You know the funny thing about this movie that I read online but not on IMDB? It's not on the trivia. or at least I didn't notice it,

is that Jan DeBant secured almost the entire budget of the film from the Dutch government from a tax incentive. And they filmed it all in Europe, you know, it's mostly in Berlin, I think,

but yeah. Yeah, they look at, I mean, that's, Jan DeBant, this is a showing of his declining, uh,

influence, I guess at the time, too, is that this is like his last big stamp that I, I've heard of at least. kind of a bummer. Yeah, I mean, he just produced or whatever, but like, geez, man, just robbing the government treasury to make equilibrium.

Like your emotion movie. Like, why can't any of these, like, tax scam movies ever be good? Like, just once you, like, watch some movie and you come out of the theater, like, God damn, that was incredible. What an amazing movie. The craft, the performances. Right. The everything.

Oh, my goodness. You're like, hey, total government tax scam movie. No, you don't say. If you make it good, do you go to prison, like in the producers or something? That might be it. That might be the situation, Eric, actually. Because you would think Paul Schrader would be all over this shit. It would just be like, tax scams, you say. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I need $10 million to make my fucking movie. Give me a tax scam wherever you got. Yeah, you should hook up with some European, like, Jan DeBont, to figure that out, honestly. Direct a Stephen Segal film, Paul. Please. That's how you get through this. As the very long narration is going on, one of the things that has talked about, a direct phrase which made me laugh out loud is like, we wanted to stop man's in humanity to man. And where I've heard that phrase before is in the movie American movie when Mark Borschart is washing Uncle Bill in the bathtub on Thanksgiving.

And he goes, ah, imagine humanity to man, man. Look at that. Look at that toenail. also this movie's solution demands humanity to man is man's in a humanity to man but an exclamation point at the end of it yeah now it's got leather trench coats and government issued motorcycle helmets oh yeah everybody all the fucking security

around everywhere looks like the the bad guy from nightmare beach yeah oh definitely fleet of those guys everywhere with kids also sorry and like little like baby Nazis that are like, his little Nazi son, yeah. Dude, that little son, let's talk about his son for a second. Please.

Christian Bail's son, you know, he's got two kids. He's a fucking widower man. He watched his own wife burn alive or whatever they do in this fucking dumb ass. But so he he's got these two kids and the little, the boy is like studying to be like the next. What do they call him? Like the assassin name. Grammaton clerics, my friend. Yes, clerics. There it is. He's training to be a cleric. They're clerics because they're great at Guncata, but they're grammatant clerics because if you use the wrong use of your, they're going to let you hear about it. They're really fucking nasty about it. Yeah, they serve under Clippy. Fippey is their master.

But, well, was Clippy helping it with grammar? Clippy would always be like, do you know how to save this as a PDF? Like, that's what I thought Clippy was there for. Wasn't he in charge of everything. but he just showed up for like the big helping thing. He was like, hey, you need a little help. You need a little help. So every time there's like a red line squiggly under misspelling Clippy sent it. He sent his people to inform me. Well, yeah, like Clippy is

Tony Soprano, you see. And these are all his little things that he doesn't actually have a hand in all, but they have to report back to him, of course. Right. But the son. Oh, yeah. No, the son. He's just like a little fucking Nazi in training dude, this little fucking turd kid. He's like, so dad, are you, uh, still doing your job okay

or do I have to report you to the murder police I love at the end spoiler alert it turns out that he's actually good he has been off the med since the mother died which is weird that kind of pissed me off I didn't want to yeah I wanted him I liked him so much as this weird

little narc like but of course you will be going to equilibrium to get more medicine right oh man I thought I thought there was going to be a gun-cata fight between father and son. I was so excited. I got very, very pumped

for that. I thought he was going to fill that little kid up with prosium. Just like, you want another dose? How about another dose? You say, I should need a dose. Here's a dose for you. Oh, wait, here's another dose. Here's a... Prozium O.D., dude. I'm more in line with Eric. Dude, I was praying for the end of before the devil knows you're dead. Just fucking

smother that kid with that pillow. Just do it. And then the little daughter's like watching on just like, yeah, dad, do it. Like, she's fucking cool with it too just kill my little Nazi brother she shouldn't even be in this movie she's not in this movie

pointless right like she's not in the movie she's in briefly the kids the kids are barely in it like he is just running around having emotions adopting dogs and I'm like are they feeding these kids like what are we doing he is two small children at home yes he's got no fondness

even after coming off the drug he's got no fondness for his children yeah but the puppy I sympathize with that. But I mean, like, he doesn't, like, even showing me that there is a maid or a live-in nanny or something that is actually feeding and clothing these tiny, tiny kids in this widower's house. Yeah.

But that's like, I mean, it's a weird, you know, everything has to be, you know, brought back around to how would this look if you had to do it without emotions? And I feel like even having like a nanny, then you got to bother with making sure. that nanny's shitty enough to kids that it makes sense that she's not getting executed. You know what I mean? Like it's just,

I feel like parts of this world it just doesn't make fucking sense. No, it doesn't at all. We're not gonna have any of that, you know? But by the way, yes, interesting movie if like, if Bale's character comes around way sooner and it's like him and the kids

and it's like some, like it's a family combo like that the Spielberg, Tom Cruise War of the Worlds where it's like him and the kids and they're trying to fucking do something. I mean, then it's like, it's fucking anything, man. You don't know what anybody wants in this movie other than like, me want to feel good

sometimes. Yeah, I want to, I mean, that's the funniest thing because Siska, Eric, you, you fucking sent that, you sent us that, uh, quote from Vimmer about making this, the party. He only wants to, he wants to make movies for people who party. Right. He said he never, he never met a critic he wanted to party with. So why should I worry about? pleasing them. I want to please people.

I want to party with. Some paraphrasing. But that is the idea of the quote that I found. Yes. This party movie that hinges on him on the main character having to assassinate his best friend for reading Yates. Like that's not exactly a party

down move. Well, because Yates is boring, dude. I mean, like, honestly, Kurt Vibber saying like, oh yes, that's party down. Here's some Yates. It was the winter of my No, just starting, that's not a party thing. I don't understand what that thought is.

Well, this movie is, but that's the thing is this movie is not fun, right? No, at all. Dereary and grim and stupid, which is a bad combination of things. We start with this big raid, and it's kind of, I was like, is that the guy from prison break? It is, whatever, is Dominic Purcell. Dominic Purcell. Do you fucking hear what this fucking bullshit was, though?

That's amazing. Dude, the son of a bitch was the fucking star of the movie. And then Christian Bear was like, no, no, I'll take it from here. And this guy got relegated to like cameo at the beginning. You know, it's like one of those things that couldn't he be? And I mean, obviously you want, you want, what do you call it, Sean Bean in there. You definitely do want Tate Diggs over Dominic for spells specifically at this time in this career. But at the same time, it's like, yeah.

So you're not going to start anymore. You're the cameo. You're the leader of the resistance for three seconds. This is about the inside man, not the rebellious leader from the outside trying to bring down the... Which would be, by the way, that would make it much more interesting because then you can have the group of resistance people having emotions and then they fight the faceless state. Yes, we've seen that a thousand times because especially when they're emotional as it doesn't make sense to be showing us inside the fascist state because it's boring. When we finally... No, you're totally right.

And because that's the thing is, when we finally open up and meet William Fichter in the underground, there's like 20 minutes left of the movie, the middle of this movie literally, now I can elucid it, it feels like you're playing a video game and you can't figure out how to get to the next area, the map. So you keep going in the same rooms and like, did I miss it in here? Did I miss it in there? All right. No, I'll go back into the other room.

I'll talk to Emily Watson one more time. Nothing there. You know what I mean? And then finally it just actually happens. And you're like, fucking finally. there's so much of this movie where I was sitting there like oh well we did that we already talked to her you had that scene we had this scene

we're doing it again maybe maybe some new information will be unturned this time sometimes he shoots people and dust comes out so I mean no maybe this time when you interrogate Emily Watson it'll work whatever it is whatever it is nobody knows but you know maybe

that'll do it. The fifth time we fucking talk to her. Can I just say something about the first line of this movie I think of actual dialogue is Dominic Brousel going to all his guys because they're coming it's like the beginning of the original judge dread like uh oh we're being raided and he's like all right you all know what to do and everything like

right and then this guy gets shot immediately all right so John you go out and you get shot in the foyer Tommy you go over there you're going to get shot in the corner I'm going to get shot in the head and Eric you fucking stand there and get shot in the stomach oh no problem it is fucking hilarious dude because I had the exact same

thought of like what was it they knew to do because as soon as he says this no plan is enacted and they're all murdered yes the cops show up and they I actually kind of like the cars throughout this movie there's boxy and just like black or white and I think

these have like yellow sirens instead of like blue and red because we're in the future and it's a different world or whatever we're in the future but dude we got no money and this white car you're talking about wasn't always white and we got fucking like white house paint on these things. Yes. There's one part like when

you see bail driving this car later and you see the interior of it and again we're doing like it's all conformity in the future so it's all just white with no details and it is just house paint all over this car dashboard. It's so fucking piss poor.

You know it's endearing how pissport is almost that so I start to like sort of like this movie and it's cheapness. Well you don't want to bring out your beamer to the netheres. You know? That's a bad place to be like also just calling this place of netheres is pretty

pretty bad. I've put my beamer in the netheres before you know how have you? That must have been a hell of a night. Oh yeah, dude we got to like 70 miles an hour. Oh, good and wet speed there. Dude, some fuck cotta right there, man. Exactly.

Hit the, you know. Hit the G spot from 70 angles. Sorry. The beamer, the beamer in the nether's dude that's just you hitting yourself in the nuts of the flashlight that's all that is yeah i know that's all that is i was trying to sound like a big man and you ruined it you know what so this is i knew i knew right from this if it wasn't if i wasn't cluded enough by the fucking footage of Stalin and saddam hussein what comes right here is where i knew tap out this this movie ain't for me we fucking tear up that

floorboards, dude, and it's like, done it, done it. We found it. Burn it. Dun it. The Mona Lisa. Yeah, it's real, by the way. Burn it. Now, but here's the question. Here's the question, though, with this. Because it's dumb and shit.

This is dumb as shit. Verified. It's the real thing. Okay, great. Would that matter? If it was a fake one, would they not burn it? It makes no sense why they fucking verified this painting. They never They verified nothing else, so that's cool, too. And the second thing is, like, Mona Lisa, that lets you know, and you're right, Andrew,

that's what, this is a perfect time to check out of this movie intellectually. Because that's like, Vimmer's right in this script, like, hey, babe, what's that famous picture with the lady? The lady picture. Because, like, you're not, that is like the not deepest cut, the most surface level cut there is. The most, she's really pleasant. You know, she just seems really pleasant. and, like, has a little smart. God, I can't believe.

Everybody knows it. Shit. Where is it? Fuck. Babe. She's got, like, dark hair and stuff. And stuff. She's got, it's like the same, it's the same name as, uh, it's my favorite Danny DeVito movie.

Drowning. What the fuck was it? Drowning something? Fuck. Oh, yeah. Oh, fuck. I finally got it. Gina Davis.

Yeah. That's, it's the, it's the, it's the famous painting. painting Gina Davis. They should paint her. Like, because, you know, like, you know, like, I don't know if I was,

you know, helping him out with the script. Oh, you want to go like a little deeper there. You know what I mean? Monet possibly be kind of cool. No. No, everybody's got to know.

Literally a baby needs to know. Like, if they're watching this. The funniest part about when they set the Mona Lisa on fire is, uh, it's,

I don't know who had control of the fucking sound library. rentals, but when the flames hit this painting, there is a noise that's uttered only when like you are trying to burn the thing with a blow torch. It's like an alien scream

sound that they put in. Baby's crying. Baby's crying layered over each other. It's all the feelings that could have happened looking at that painting that never got to be felt. Wow. Wow. That's really think about it. Incredible. Really, really incredible stuff. Oh no, my

painting. He's still alive. that's what I would love to I would love for them to scan it and it comes up unverified and he's like what what's that and then you just hear a clicking noise and then just get Jeff Daniel's eyes from speed

blows up mother and you know to give him like some credit here because poor Sean Bean's just shitting it in this movie to give him a little bit of credit he's a great actor and you know right from

I didn't know what this fucking movie was about at all. And just like from Sean Bean's reaction to like watching the painting getting burned, I was like, oh, he's against this. Like, it's a very subtle, but like, you know, I feel like

some folks might be missing that in the movie. I was pleased to see a little subtle Sean Bean acting. Before he shot the face eight seconds later. Yeah, and then he's put him to a bean bag. Yes, he is. Body bag. A body bag. A body bag you put Sean Bean into.

Christian Bale, by the way, who's a great actor in his own right, obviously finding his way here a little bit, this is post-American psycho, so he's like, you know, primeish bail here. Right. But he, A, is made up like Joel Gray and fucking cabaret, this entire, like, especially in the beginning. You know what I mean? Like,

welcome to equilibrium. What, the slick back hair? The slick back hair and like so much makeup. So much makeup. I didn't notice the makeup, but like the shirt collar a little bit. Fiddly tibettas. Fiddly tibettas. Too much emotion there, Steve. It would be, uh, we'll come and

be an beinvue. Welcome. Cabaret. Cabaret. Yeah. This is post-American psycho, but I believe this movie sat on the shelf for like a, like, a year or two. It was, it was shot in 2000 and then

it came out in 2002. It is not late 2000. Anyway. It's not up to the sterling heights of one man's justice. I will say this. It's just not something you can equal. I mean, you missed the boss here. The boss would have knocked this out of the park. Right now, this is a previous movie by Kurt Vimmer. We talked about a little bit on the episode four. Stone Cold. Stone Cold. Yes, thank you. I have not seen that yet. I have to see it. You really do. He's, by the way, directed the children in the corn movie that's finally coming out. Yes. I was, I thought, ready to come out. in 2020, but just as now they're finally Yeah. Oh, it's just that one? Yes. Yes. Because it's set on the show, you know, it was not released. It went to some film festivals and then now they're finally releasing it. So IMDB says it's Children of the Corn 2020.

Oh, interesting. Yeah, because it's, he's only, he did one tough bastard equilibrium, ultraviolet and then Children of the Court. So this guy, I mean, like, if we get a copy of One Tough Bastard and do Children of the Corn for worst of, we've got all the Vimmers done. We're done with Vemmers. You know what I mean? Like, we've got them. You don't have to worry about it anymore. I've been worried about it. One tough bastard also known as one man's justice.

Yes, indeed. Hey, here's a dumb thing about this movie. This particular Kurt Vimmer movie, we get a little look at like what this nondescript, like, city is that the movie's set in or whatever. Libria. Call it equilibrium city. Yeah, equilibrium city, sure.

I mean, after World War III and you're like, All right. Start and scratch here. How about the Nazi flag? I don't know. That was in World War III. That was World War II. It's okay for us to use. All right.

What do we make them tease for the tetragramma, the clerics? Or whatever the fuck this society is called. Tetragrammatron. Tetragrammatron, which I think is a brother-in-law with fucking Optimus Prime. Yes, sounds like it. I can't believe you invited Tetrageton. Gramatron here. He's going to drink all of my unobtainium tonight. Vivian, your brother sucks. Tetrogrammatron, stop putting on the Bauhaus. This is a family function. Obviously,

he's just waiting to borrow money from me. He's going to come in, pretend to be my friend, talk to me about racing, obviously, and then he'll slip in, and now I'm lending him $2,400. He keeps sharing Andrew Tate prison videos with me. Oh, God. This guy's original. I know that I should have told him the first time I found it repulsive, but I said nothing. And now he keeps sending them. Evil happens when good men do nothing, right?

That includes you, Optimus Prime. Vivian, Vivian, you can't leave me alone with that guy. Last time at brunch when you went to the bathroom, he explained to me the entirety of Stargate SG-1. And he kept saying, I was not interested. Jesus. That happened to me once. Oh, really?

Nice. Fun times. I was playing pooled like a distant family hanger on her kind of a guy. And he was like, you ever watch Stargate SG-1? I was like, nah. And then like, that was it. He was like, you're about to in your own mind. He's going to tell you everything about it.

Nice. So you're an expert now. That's awesome. Yeah, yeah. Why don't you spout some knowledge about SG1, man? I don't have anything. Who's the captain? Wasn't that Richard? What's his face?

Dean Anderson? Richard Dean Anderson, I believe so. I don't know if he's a captain. You listen to this guy. Yeah, okay. It was years ago. It was years ago, and I wasn't paying attention. Is that Robert Carlisle eventually show up there?

Yeah, he's floating around on one of them shows. I think it's maybe Stargate Atlantis. He's one of them, yeah. Something. Oh, well, way, way back. The thing that I was actually trying to point out that I thought was really dumb about the city layout. They got Zeppelins, dude.

Well, there it is, dude. Zeppelin. Is that what you were going to say? Yep, there are. Zeppelins. Go ahead, go ahead. Talk about the Zeppelins. Okay, they looked pretty sharp. I think a higher budget would have made you

produced a better-looking Zeppelin, but they certainly do have Zep. It's sort of just like the Goodyear Blimp just playing adverts but it's from the government, you know? Yeah, it's very shiny. Everything is very shine.

The city looks like shit. Let's let's, that's the first thing. Looks like overshot. Everything is very, very bright, uh, and fake looking,

of course. Sure. It's the future, man. It's 272. Of course. Well, it looks like, here's what it looks like.

Because again, you got to take out all fucking like, you know, architectural rule anything. Like, everything has to look like fucking plain garbage. All this city looks like is remember in back to the future when Doc is trying to explain to Marty like the plan and here's, you're going to drive down at this exact time.

And he builds the model of Hill Valley. And it's all just like gray boxes. And he's like, sorry I didn't have time to build it to scale or to paint it. Like it just looks like that painless Doc Brown model, just like white gray buildings. Everything looks like it's got a thick. coat of bird shit. But this is Whimmer saying something like this is what totalitarian

totalitarianism. Yes. That's what that looks like. It looks like a fucking, it looks like a ketchup bottle painted gray. Oh no, it's your cousin totalitarian tron. Oh God, he's going to tell me more Chuck Norris jokes. It's been two decades.

Vivian, you will never believe what totalotron told me just the other day. In the year, 272, Vivian, he made a goddamn Budweiser frog joke. That's ridiculous. And I got it. Don't get me wrong. I got it.

But still, God damn it. Listen, we're going to your nephew's communion and we're leaving after the service. I am not getting dinner with these people. Getting fuel, right? Going to the gas station. Exactly. Listen, I put a lot of oil in the card. They'll be happy with it, okay?

I'm pumping up, do you mind? He's got his fucking ass exposed for the fucking gas nozzle to go in there to feed his fucking belly. Don't look at me. Stop staring. The constant stream of Sean Purtry as father, the explicit, like, it's fine in the beginning because it's giving you some information that you need to sort of get grounded in this world but like imagine just walking around and all the time exposition like everywhere you go they're they're like this is the world it's capitalism everybody has to make money and else they fucking die in the street like yeah i know dude i fucking know i got it's weird the omnipresenceness of it yes it's sort of like 1984 where like the leader's talking to you at all times but just make it angus mcfadden because he's doing the exact same role in other scenes as father or just like have it be like a leader with like a cool mask

or cool veil, like some imagery because, like, otherwise, I am just walking around my, during the day with the Tiananmen Square footage and fucking Rodney King footage just being played on these huge fucking TVs everywhere. I might get a little weirded out eventually. I might get numb to things. That's the point. But that's, do you know what? The movie that I kept on thinking about here is demolition man. Right. Yeah. This is just essentially a, of, a, of, very boring version of demolition man. Right. That's right. Because one of the greatest different, it's so funny, Chris, because I was

totally thinking about this. One of the biggest whiffs of this movie is when Christian Bale like finds the entrance to the underground and William Fickner's like, hey, welcome to the underground and you look and it appears as if like there's

a whole like marketplace down there almost. It's not exactly that, but it's a thriving community. Right. And my thoughts immediately went to demolition man when Dennis Leary is showing sly around. This is how everything works down here and blah. And I was like, it's literally

the same idea. And the fucking movie with Dennis Leary and Rocky and the woman from the bus did it way better. Did it so much better because the underground in this movie is the exact same as the up top. Why is there nothing in all these fucking rooms? Why wouldn't

they have maybe a painting? Or like, you know, a rat burger station or something. A skateboard. something just anything anything to do because I will say I'm not sure if I can judge this movie correctly because the time I watch this right

when you're doing when you're seeing the videos of the father and all this shit for the first time you also get a quick shot of William Fickner for one second and for the rest of the movie I'm just waiting for William Fickner to show up I'm like where's my man where is he

can you bring him out here please because I'm getting tired of the rest of this shit And it's not, it's still the fucking end. It's no doubt in my mind, Chris Kevin, that in this movie, he is William most scenes deleted Fickner. Yeah. Because, because there's two, there's two, like, mysteries that this movie decides to, like, set up that are completely meaningless. One is, like, the two-second mystery of the leader of the underground. And they're saying his name at one point.

And I don't remember what it is. We'll get to it. Yurgan. Yurgan, there it is. And, like, that's just William Fickner. Okay, great. So you didn't have them in the whole movie. Just so for two seconds, you could be like,

you have to find the mysterious Yergan. Up, there he is. Oh, it's William Fittler. Whoopty fuck. Just go to, there he goes. Yeah, there he goes indeed, dude. And then also, like, the fucking Sean Pertwee as father. And Eric, I think you just asked, like,

why can we just see him the whole time? Because we have to have this garbage, Wizard of Oz twist thing for no fucking reason where Angus McFadden the dude that you've seen the whole movie he has multiple scenes with Christian Bale he gets, you know, Christian Bale

thinking he's working this whole undercover operation like Angus McFadden is in this movie there is no reason to do this twist in his fucking garbage swooping out Sean Putee and Angus McFaiden is like oh it's like swapping out

Zach Grinier for Kurt Fuller. It's the same fucking guy. Like it doesn't make a difference. It makes no goddamn difference. It really doesn't. No, Steve, did we talk about the book, the changing book size?

No, we did not. So like in the car, you know, they're driving back like, hey, that was a pretty good little genocide we just did.

Like, yeah, absolutely. It was pretty cool. And Sean Bean, Christian Bell notices, in his pocket, in Sean Bean's pocket is a slim,

slim volume of poetry by Yeats. and he's like, oh, what, what's with that? He's like, oh, I'm just going to have them enter it into evidence. And Christian Bell kind of runs it down. And it's like, wait a second, he never entered it to enter into evidence. And now, and at this point, we've already found out that like he watched his wife burn and didn't give a shit. So this is like showing you how down in the dumps the dude is for the cause.

He finds Sean Bean alone reading. And I mean, it's a dictionary-sized book all of it. the sun. It's so comically huge. Completely different books, same cover. I think this is for the stunt that's about to occur with it. I don't, this, this felt like a Langian expressionistic

twist to me. Okay, God, it's very smart. See, it's a very, it's a nice little bit they do here. Have you ever seen a book? If you put it on your shelf, it gets bigger and bigger and bigger. The more you love it. That's why we ban them because

the book's got too big. Reading books, them, okay, and it makes them big. That's why we had to ban them and burn them because they were eating your mind. I had this copy of David Copperfield and it kept on saying, feed me, Preston. So he'd walk around and make people read it

and then it would grow even bigger. It's a problem. My brother had a copy of Infinite chest and it crushed him because it got so fucking big. It was big enough already and it got so fucking big. It crushed all of what used to be Minnesota. Yeah.

It just got so big and it just toppled right over. It got infinite. It did. That just. And it will crush all of humanity. We got to ban books, obviously. Oh, clearly. I mean, they're way ahead of you.

See, look, I'm just saying moderate opinions now. Isn't everyone happy? Just ban books. Yeah, it's fun. It's the middle of the road. Yeah, don't burn it. You know what? Something that we, there's,

So we should say that he shoots fucking Sean Bean right in the fucking head. Right. He puts the book in front of his face to be like, yeah, you're going to be shooting me, but I'm going to enjoy some poetry first. Pow, right in the book. And this is the book, the book, you know, the shoots a bunch of pieces of paper out of it. It's kind of a cool effect for a head shot when you can't afford to actually shoot someone in the head.

I've been there myself. It looks good, though. It looks good. And it would just make sense to reshoot that scene in the fucking, in the, in the, car and have the appropriate sized book. That would be nice. It's so wild. I was going curious about like what is legal, what is it legal? Because we never like and like what this real society is because you don't actually see anybody aside from the Grammatron clerics. Like you don't, you know, are there fucking,

you know, are there newspaper people? Like, you know what does anyone else do? Also, I mean, I'm almost certain. Have you heard the news? It's fine. It's normal. Everything's good. can you fuck and is fucking allowed this is a great question because they're like why like no one can feel even if your after your wife goes to the crematorium alive or whatever the fuck we're doing yeah how is there sensuality how are you making your little Nazi children what exactly right I think that's that was all on the same floor that William Fickner's scenes are on is dealing with the fucking whatever the sex is because like yeah like that's a a a a an emotional thing, purely like it would have to be something like Demolition Man where you have mind sex come in a cup and then she switches it around and shoots it. I bet you

here's the thing I bet you right now fucking is outlawed. This is the thing they're too cowardly to talk about in the movie but like fucking is outlawed it is all artificial insemination like you want kid jerk off in cup in blank white room we take

blank white cum and put in but if you can't feel like are you are you getting are you jerking are you getting you know aroused are you coming a heavily a heavily heavily heavily edited copy of uh lady chatterley's lover is the only thing you have to jerk off to that's literally it that's what else can you get through in this fucking culture so dystopian huh it's pretty bad eric i think it's pretty bad that the thing that that i just hung me up the whole fucking time was for sean bean it's yate That's the thing that's going to cause emotions for him But I'm like most people are much stupider than that So like what if it's the guy who's like He finds the one last cup of Seshwan sauce From the Rick and Morty thing

And that's the thing that has to make him Fucking like get shot in the fucking head I can't believe it survived World War III Dust this off Oh my goodness They canceled Tuka and Bertie Well that's a thing too Is like they don't like

Later on when we even when we bust Emily Watson and we go into her like little Pietitere there, it's like this like it's like some old grandma's house like wouldn't there be anything new like a fucking DVD player or a goddamn what's funny is like

a slip not CD or something this stuff that's going to give you emotions yes includes just right like ornate lamps and a wallpaper on the wall but also in that little room she has is the the school crossing sign like

children like people walking across the street like pedestrian crossing is inspiring emotion in people apparently i mean i think what we're getting to here is that you know i think maybe to chris's original question there's no distinguishing between high and low art dude like if you think art is you know a movement from like mozart's nine that's your art if you think it's fucking dipping sauce from a cartoon from a hundred years ago, then that's your fucking bag, man. And you will, you will be, you will be

just as persecuted for that fucking Seshwan sauce collectible cup as you will from owning fucking granny's old 78 inch, you know, records with Beethoven on them. Should be executed for like watching Benny Hill videos or something. Yeah.

He's weeping as like Benny Hill pitches a fanny. The bobbies are after him. I'm going to put the TV in front of my head. Go ahead and shoot. William Fickner was radicalized because he couldn't see Edgar Wright's version of Ant Man. That was the thing. It just pushed him right over the edge.

And he's like, well, now I'm going to lead the resistance against this cruel world. So he gets fucking partnered with Taye Diggs after he murders his own partner there. You know, and Tay Diggs is all, I was told this would be a career making advancement for me. Tay Diggs What is also completely underdeveloped in both Christian Bale and Tay Diggs characters are that they have some sort of preternatural

ability to like read people's minds and they know if they're feeling and it's like hey you know what? Just real quick Kurt could you could you extrapolate that idea like at all at all for this

no okay similarly with the whole Guncata thing Like, these dudes seemingly have, like, supernatural-esque abilities to, like, go into a room and not get shot and they say it's training or whatever. But, like, in The Matrix, which this movie has seen, you know, all of that stuff makes sense because of the way we explore what the world is and what the world isn't and all that great stuff. But what in here, there's no, there's no actual reason as to why he can, like, do all these crazy backflips and the other people in the fascist movement can. You know what I mean? Well, that's the thing, right? Is like, are you, is there like a career day at some point?

And it's like, all right, like after this survey you filled out, like you are, you know, you're, you're destined to be a cleric. But you're just a fucking grunt that looks like an extra from Marilyn Manson's dope show video. Like, how is it, how is it, you know, they determine like cleric versus fucking motorcycle helmet guy. These are great questions. And also, we see a bunch of. other clerics training in Guncada or it's the Guncada Police Academy, I don't know

but they never come into question later. They never defend father or Angus McFadden. They just, they disappear from the movie. They don't exist. Here's more motorcycle helmet guy. There's nothing to like, there's no structure to suggest like anybody's obsessed with father.

Like, no. He's just there. And like, I'm sorry. It's very silly for like Christian Bale to put his hand up to a wall. and say, it's here. And then break down the wall like it's Secaria with the bodies. And it turns out to be an alarm clock

with Mickey Mouse on it and a couple of lamps. Like, that's hysterically stupid. Oh, this is the Ron DeSantis mode here. That's how we would like it. Eventually, that's how it's going to be down in Florida. It's getting there.

It's getting there. You know what's a weird thing? We see like his home life. this is where we do see his little fucking Nazi kid who's like yeah I saw my friend crying today should I report him to the school master yeah and he's like

yes do it your friend should be killed unquestionably yep yep just get him killed you got that right but one thing I noticed here Christian Bale like lays down for the evening just to like be with his thoughts about his new partner

whatever and we got no pillows yes and I just those inspire Those inspire feelings. Yeah. Yeah, right. Like what, you know, feeling right now I have against my pillow is, I'm fucking pissed off because I slept wrong. My fucking neck has been killing me for days. So is that why?

Is it like, I might get all riled up at my pillow? Could be. But you're, you watch Christian Bailey. He was like sleeping on his fucking muscular arm. Like that looks terrible. I mean, like, because when, you know, when. Sexy. Oh, my God.

I have a fucking sexy. When father, we do all. also realize that it's a two-bed scenario because he looks over because it's kind of a twin. Aren't they pushed together though? They are. So yeah I guess I don't know. It's a great question. But yeah. When father is coming

into power is like yes and we will no more world wars. Woo! No more feelings. Abs of fucking looting. And no more pillows. Hold on. Wait. Wait. Oh yeah.

Father has fallen 38 points. in the next our fascistic collection. Father, a question out here at the back. Yeah, hi, Simon. Hi, nice to meet you. Could I take my clothing and put it under my head as to simulate a pillow? Or is that also going to get me burned alive? Yeah, just a fucking pillow, man.

I need it to sleep. I apologize. I like, too. Occasionally, I like to. If you don't, you know, want me to have. have like flashy Superman bed sheets or whatever the okay but like oh dude that's that's a world

burn someone alive for sleeping in a race car bed bunch of eight year olds they just heard them all into a fucking burner well sir you are uh yep you are 39 years old and you are sleeping with Superman sheets so you will indeed be burned alive good night everybody they might they might have some good ideas here father's back up on the polls with me well actually you don't think about it though like You know, so you got a pillow. That's great. Yeah, like a regular, you know, down pillow. Okay. Oh, maybe we've got some goose feathers in there. Okay. Well, fancy boy. Then all of a sudden you get yourself of my pillow and now we're storming the Capitol. Right. Father was right, actually. The pillows are very dangerous. Also, goose feathers. Where are you getting those, Steve, the nether? Who do you know in the nether? Getting these goose feathers. Why don't you tell us about that? The cursed earth. That is the never. The nether. I want to get into it. So like eventually, like he goes home. He has a whatever. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He doesn't. He

He doesn't sleep by a pillow, and then in the morning, he accidentally knocks over his dose of prosium, and he's like, oops, what a silly mistake? And his son is just like, I've taken the liberty of telling your partner, you'll be late for work today. And I'm like, this kid rules. Like, I want, I definitely want a showdown with the kid at the end. I can't believe they back down from it. Exactly. It's so, it's so cowardly because the kid doesn't, the kids matter nothing the entire film anyway. The only thing that's interesting is the way the kid acts.

But anyway, you'll go by equilibrium and log the loss. I was like, yeah, can't you tell that fucker? By the way, every day you are woke, there's a blaring horn that says, Awaken to Triumph again. If you want to hear something that would make me, oh really, because this would make me stay right in bed. This would be like, no what, you know what, no, I'm not doing that.

Triumph, no thing. No, I triumph a little bit. I mean, a little less now that I'm older, but. Well, sure. that's fair so he goes to he's an emily watson and she's uh they'd like the fucking called the prayer that is taking your dose no matter where you are happens and he doesn't do it and it's like oh how long you've been off the dose they walk into her fucking house and he goes uh this uh this mirror frame here is clearly illegal get rid of it like pulls it off the wall yes and

like this is what yeah oh yeah i got ahead of myself yes. Yeah. He's fucking given it to her. He's like, you're off your meds. Look at you. You know. And he discovers, yes, this secret hidden room with art and wallpaper and furniture that was popular when fucking Lincoln was assassinated. And I realized like what it is. I think it's it's just like people in this world, right? Like they're kind of like Ariel, the Little Mermaid. Like it's just knickknacks. Any fucking remnants of like human society they find in the garbage. Because like, yeah, like. Emily Watson, she's got fucking forks and weird old lamps from saloons and whatnot. It's kind of nice. It's like a little man cave for her, right? Yeah, it's almost like another party guy hallmark, a Proust or Proust. Yes. It's much like that. That's another party guy. You're totally right, though, Chris, because it's also stuffy. Like, I would like a couple of Barron's Day Bears racers from McDonald's, you know.

Lightning. How about some Bert Reynolds movies? Yeah, exactly, a poster of gator or something. Yeah, please, anything. But so, like, he arrests her, but he feels kind of bad. They're about to execute her and then Christian Bale because he's like, oh, he gets his first erection, possibly question mark. And he's like, oh, we need to question her later. So put her on ice and like Tay Diggs becomes sort of suspicious. Well, he, no, he gets the boner in the interrogation room.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. that's for sure Sean Bean was with her apparently and later on it's revealed that he helped get her all these artifacts or whatever and they were fucking and he kills him

so then he's just like no I get to fuck her I'm moving up in the rank or something I get the fuck now I got the fuck daddy gets to fuck oh you got yourself a feeling lady

oh oh nice so I don't know the next time goes to the dog scene, which is fucking hilarious to me. I mean, it is so unnecessary. It's like, we don't need to talk about pets. I don't think like, we don't need to think about it that

far because it doesn't make a ton of sense anyway. But the way they talk about it is just like, what are they, we've seen this before. Yeah, women and children were defending these pets. What are those? We, well, we killed all them pretty easy, but we don't really know how to handle this. Hey, clerics, should we just shoot these dogs? I mean, what? I've never

seen a dog. It's so stupid. Like, yeah, exactly. They would be run. A, they'd be wild dogs on the street. You know what I mean? At least in the nether. Well, I mean, it's, what is the point, like, the point of this is clear to be like, oh, no, they are really fucking evil. Like, that's the, and I'm like, I just, I, I know Christian Bale sent his, his wife

into the burner. I know that's happened. What, I don't need anything more. I mean, like, yeah, I personally was more pissed because I'm a dog, you know, I'm a dog lover and all that shit. But like, I'm like, yeah, I guess this note is just way too heavy for this. Like, it just turns, it, it brings it into a level. I was like, this is pretty extreme.

It is, but I guess, yeah, I mean, all, I mean, they shoot them all off screen, so whatever. But then the little poppy tries to run away and the guy, like, grab it, grab it, grab it. And Christian Bale does, and he's got that moment of like, what? Yeah. But yeah, then the dog, like, give him a kiss. And he's like, oh, no. You know what? Don't kill this one.

Why? it might need to be tested for diseases or something and like here's the thing this this movie has not set up a world in where like diseases run rampant in the nether regions and what like none of that's been fucking explained at all so like that excuse should not fly

with these security guards at all right here they should be like what diseases are you talking about sir gun down everything Oh, yeah, he might be have disease. Cuddle disease. Come here, you. Honestly, Christian Bail's a moron for doing this, for even embracing this dog because it gives him up in a way.

But also, just prior to that scene, he was like he was caught by Tate Diggs smuggling a book of his own out of the nether or whatever. Yes. And he uses the same excuse that Sean Bean does when Christian Bale catches him at the beginning of the movie, which is like, oh, I found him. because, you know, sometimes they're not thorough and don't burn everything. So I'm going to make sure that it gets destroyed.

This is also after he finds a snow globe of the Eiffel Tower and cries over a Beethoven 45. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In another secret fucking man cave room. The man caves are great in this movie. He, uh, the poet caves. And Tay Diggs keeps giving him the look that Mr. Burns gives Smithers after he says, well, that kiss was a sign of respect.

that he's like, uh, yes. Like, he has that eyebrow up the whole movie. He really does. Because he's kind of like, Tate Diggs character like from the jump. Yes. Suspects like something is up, you know, with Christian Bale or whatever.

He noticed the, the boner when he, when Emily Watson, uh, and Christian Bale meet for the first time. Because the, the mirror is his response to him noticing the boner. Like,

Tay Diggs comes in and is, and it's like, hey what what she's still alive what what the fuck what what's this guy's like oh did the the the the mirror is the thing that's the problem and that's the problem and then i mean one thing that we did absolutely miss it i have they they they probably had to put in the no emotions protocol first before they decided to call these criminals i shit you not oh yeah yep yep sense offenders come on you know what you really someone you know what, this is why the fucking see something say something was in the movie. It wasn't just for fucking terrorism. It was for shit like this. When you're working on a movie and it's some dystopian sci-fi gobbledy gook

where we're making up terms and expressions and words and someone is like the villains in this movie or the perceived villains, the oppressed, we are going to call them sense offenders. Not a single person. The dozens of people on the set of this film were like, hold up. You know, when you say sense offender real fast, like, say it right now. Sense offender. What does it sound like to you?

Does it sound like anything else? Another kind of fucking offender. How stupid it is? Like, are you telling me that these emotionless men don't have the sense of touch or literally anything? Like, yeah, I cried at the end of Jack so I can't be fucking 20 yards with it of school, dude. That's how that shit works.

No, no, his taste, you know, is taste forbidden? Or are they like, they scald your tongue so you can't taste the Italian combos you're still ordering or something? Great question. We only see them eating breakfast and the kid, no, it's only the kid and it's eating like a chaco puffs

kind of a scenario. Right. So chaco puffs, okay. Father's got a bit of a sweet tooth. Sugar. Sugar definitely doesn't create emotions of any kind. So he's kind of like going through it. You know, he's realizing, oh you know, he's crying. One night he goes to bed and like he wakes up. He's a dream.

about his wife, I think, right? He remembers whatever happened. An exposition dream, which is always a convenient. You see her go out of the oven or whatever the fuck in this flashback dream sequence? I think it's a thing where, like, and again, this is just like some connections I'm taking a leap with here because the movie,

the movie certainly ain't going to do anything about this. But I think part of it is that medicine that they keep making you take might also be a dream suppressant. Because when he wakes up after having that nightmare, it's like, holy fuck! What was that? I'm like, I think he's like not used to any form of dreaming at all. Oh, that's interesting.

And then, oh, you know, it's coming back then. Welcome back, everybody. You stop taking prosium. Now I can haunt your dreams. Uh-oh. It only took what, what year is this? Holy shit. Well, the point is I'm back.

Wow, your dreams are gray and stark. Not much to work with here. I usually haunt teenagers. What are you, 38? What the fuck? No kids dreaming? I like that demonic robe your wife was wearing, though. That's very sharp of her. Yeah, dude, that's straight out of fucking jigsaw's closet.

These execution robes were wearing. They're a little sexy for some reason. I don't know why. But he wakes up. And I mean, this is what, like, parts of the, aside from like, you know, using a service level thing like, you know, Beethoven and fucking, uh, uh, the Mona Lisa. The scene where he wakes up and there's a little pinhole in, we realize that like all these windows are like tinted out to all get out to suppress sunlight coming in and the beauty of the natural world.

And in this dramatic scene, it's raining out and he opens it and he looks out and he sees true beauty, which I swear to God, is a level from Diddy Kong racing. It's just the, it is the cheap. like just i don't know like just find a way to show a cityscape you don't just show a real sunrise he's supposed to be marveling at the fucking sunrise but you have to put in this fucking cg i fake brick ass fucking equilibrium city horrid shit and like the funnier thing to me is that like it's like he just figured out that you can peel this shit off the window that's fading he's just like i just imagine him like after he peels it off he's like that was that was it he goes into the

bathroom he's like he turns on it's cold water he's like looks over he's like hot water turns it on oh my god this hot water oh my god we got a sense of fender he's yeah he's feeling the temperature of the water he's using he's using the switch to turn on the lights and he's just elated he's just figured that out too yeah he's using a curt dimmer to dim dim the lights he's just screaming with joy you know he should learn to masturbate in this film he should finally figure it out yes yes do you think it's a thing though where like that was just like when Christian Bale and his family moved in, like, it was just a new apartment. You know, and like you get a new TV and there's like that layer over it that you're supposed

to peel up. Do you think like he invites it, like, Tate Diggs comes over one day for like a little like weekend hang or something and he's like, hey man, you didn't, uh, you take the the sticker off your windows? Oh, well, no, that's to dim out all the sunlight, right? No, man, that's cool. you can see sunlight's man it's just a new apartment you didn't peel off the window paper read your Grammatron dude there's nothing to about fucking sunlight what are you talking about

did you turn motion smoothing off your window as well you don't have to worry about the resale value man you can just feel that shit off it doesn't worry don't worry about no scratches are going to happen to your window I just am more productive in the morning when the sun shines and I don't know if that's really like a feeling thing it's just you know just what vitamin D dude will do you well

of the problem. It's just so ill-defined of what would this even mean? What would it mean to have zero emotions? Why is this interesting to watch? Yeah. It's nothing. They tried this recently. There was a Kristen Stewart movie called Equals, I think. Really? That was similar, very similar

to this. And like, no emotion. Gun-Cata? No, gun-cata. Eric, thank you so much, because that's what we miss, is where Angus McFadden starts describing gun- Cotta to this whole gym

of guys doing Jim Cata and by the way it is all guys and he's just like it will inflict maximum damage geometric fighting and it is the stupidest looking shit in the world it's so silly it's so stupid well this is where it's like we

discovered all it's basically like we're doing money ball with gun fighting yes exactly oh all the we averaged out all the, you know, the basic trajectories a human brain immediately goes to when it wants to fire a gun. So we taught you to dodge all of those at the same time. Yeah, you heard a chicken cotta, not too dissimilar. So Angus McFadden is the Billy Bean of shooting people in the head. Yes, he is. Does the bullet get on base? I'm going to ask again, does the

bullet get on base? Listen, I've just, I've been shooting people in the head, an old-fashioned way I raised my arm and I blow their fucking brains out. What's wrong with that? That's how my dad did it. By the way, Chris Cabin, you are correct. Equals from 2015 with Kristen Stewart and Nicholas Halt plot synopsis synopsis and emotionless utopia

in and emotionless utopia. Two people fall in love when they regain their feelings after contracting a mysterious disease causing tensions between them and their society. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's so boring. So boring. So boring.

He also has this scene when he's like really going into his own where like he realizes that all the desks are organized the same way. And in this, it's his office, you know, and in the office where everyone is doing their Grammatron best to fucking suppress emotions. You got father Blair at a fucking 12 about this shit. And I'm like, dude, I know. I've tried to. I got reports due at five. Can we turn that down? like I swear to God I know all there is to know about it

I swear to you father it's like trying to like work in an airport you know what I mean it's just like fucking TVs are always on you can't hear yourself fucking think for two little seconds and this guy wants a a productive agency of fucking fascist bootlickers going out and burning paintings no when you have like Tony Robbins speak going over the fucking loud

speakers all day? No, thank you. Yeah. We also mentioned, we didn't mention because you're like, oh, the career day, because you could either be a Grammonton cleric, a you know, Michael Jackson, Moonwalker esque, Gestapo dude, or a guy who gets shoved in the street in a gray suit.

That's the third option is you're a guy going somewhere in a gray suit. I think I'd be a gray suit guy. Yeah. Well, because that's that's fucking interesting, right? is like, what jobs exist? They make the cereal, the cocoa pumps. I mean, you're making the cereal.

There's factories where we have to make this brain juice. Prosium. The brain juice, yeah. The brain juice sounds way cooler, first of all. It does sound cooler than prosium. The problem with working at the prosium factory is you could get exploded by terrorists. Oh, it's true. Or A.K. Freedom Fighters.

Depends on your point of view. You need bullet factory. You need a gun factory. for sure. You need a trench you need trench coats by the billions, I would think. That's true. That's true. A factory Helmet factory. Factory to make all the white

paint. There's plenty of industry. There's plenty of industry. There's plenty of industry. This one Lippria is doing just fine. I don't know about the rest of the fucking planet. Always a great question. Is this America? Is this

I mean, it's sure as fuck feels like Europe. But why are we making poor fucking Christian Bail uses that because of no one else has to. I would be like, Kurt, Kurt, why does Sean get to do it? Why is Sean get to? Come on. That's, that doesn't sound like a party man question, Christian. I would like a party man actor. I mean, I'm guessing you at the time, especially Christian Bale was trying to become a big start America. Yeah. That's probably why. Also, by the way, Guncada famously, at least if you believe the IMDB invented in Kurt Vibber's backyard. That I like, oh. Oh,

I'll believe that a large portion of this movie was conceived in a backyard, dude. Absolutely. You know, feeling was legal in that backyard, but thought was illegal. We each had names. My name was Silencer. This is my friend Magnum. That's very cool. Nice backyard shenanigans.

Cool. Keep it down there, Vimore. I got work tomorrow. I don't know. He's invented a new kind of. Gun Karate out there is something. I prefer the backyard wrestling, I'll be honest. A little barbed wire might have taught him something.

That bullet just whizzed by my head, Vibber. Oh, there goes the window. Another window that Papa Vimmer has to replace. I am calling your parents in the morning. Yeah, I know you're 40. Gun karate. On Memorial Day, Vimmer. on Memorial Day seriously

this is the part of the film now when Christian Bale goes out with the dog I think he was going to at first get rid of it and leave it out there but then he's like damn you're too cute okay get back in the trunk yeah it's a nice little scene he looks at he looks at this dog like John Cusack looks at the baby

and gross point blank it's just like oh here's all my humanity back because of this cute puppy dog It wasn't my wife getting incinerated. No, no, no, no. She was on the branges. Of course. And meanwhile, he has two small children at home that are starving.

But, you know, I got to hand it to them. You know, the dog is a lot better than both of these kids. I mean, I could easily, instantly press the button to incinerate those kids. Oh, or two. I would have reservations. I wouldn't, I wouldn't even have to think about it, especially with that son. See you later. Right.

Yeah, exactly. You later. won't see you there. You're going to be Ashley. So like a bunch of fucking, you know, bootlickers roll up on him here. And that you know, I will say

they kind of do a decent job here with the tension because like the dog is in the trunk and it's like, you know, what's going on here? Oh, we didn't know it was you, sir. Sorry about that clerk. Didn't see you there. And then like, he's about to get out of there. And the dude's giving him the car keys and like the dog

barks and it's like I've never seen well I won't say never but it's just it's one of those movies where like the hero is June is damnedest to not do the hero stuff that makes the movie even remotely interesting and I'm like yes just do it just lay these dudes down

dead I know you're going to do it stop fighting it something has to happen in this movie man yeah this is a fun little fight scene you know yeah this is a decent action action scene it is yeah all these guys go down you get the Jim got a whoops better movie

Gun Kata where these little spikes come out of like the handles of the gun and he's like smashing these dudes motorcycle helmets. The motorcycle helmets actually add to the movie because it's something to break because you know this movie's not going to break faces constantly which it should but

I appreciate it anyway. There's a great moment where one guy goes oh fuck and he gets like fucking nailed with one. Right. There's one moment where one of them has like blood explode inside the motorcycle helmet which nice. I was wondering, with the things coming out of the, the butts of the, the gun handle there, I thought it was a thing where he, when he hit someone, the gun also went off and fired at someone else. So it's like, I'm banging, maybe, I'm banging the butt of the gun. You know,

I'm like, I'm pissed to whipping somebody, but also like the gun is firing in a different direction. Because in that one fight, because he is, he's still like shooting people, but he very pointedly, like, flips them around so that he's like he doesn't have like a, he's not able to put a finger on the trigger. So he's like smashing these dudes and I think the gun

is also going off at the same time which I thought was neat. And then by the way, you never see that happen again. Nope. No. Well, that's a subset called Handel-Cata. It's very different than gun-cata. Once you master gun-cata, then you can learn Handel-Cod.

that's that's when you get to the rifle belt uh that's it's a very special thing and then you know the the glock belt that's what that's the really up there one yeah one of uh one of the funniest parts of this movie uh happens around here where it's like bail you know he decides uh like all right i'm i'm off i've been off my meds for a while got to figure out you know what i'm doing with all these things can't hide them at work obviously can't hide them around the house or the fucking little Nazi kids always running around. There was one scene where he dumps it like in a pedestrian traffic. Like people walking around.

Yes. That's it too. But now he needs a new method. And it's like, oh, better, better quietly figure out a place to hide them in the house. Let's rip the fucking medicine cabinet off the wall. That's a nice quiet thing. I'm trying to stash my drugs. Come on, man.

That's, first of all, that's how you get the candy man involved. Okay. Thank you very much, dude. If you want to find a fucking see. apartment that the candy man's been living in Christian bail here you go dude but I mean also like funny with the mirror just never went back on

it's like oh fuck oh Jesus come on now I did now I really did now I got to call out of work and fix this oh god did they do they outlaw cocking does that make emotions does that do it shit out of curiosity are people going through this dude's toilet like what the fuck do you just go in there

and like just dump it in the toilet are they're like is there like a shit cleric yes There's turd examinations obviously happening. Oh, yeah. I bet you. Yeah. Well, you know, because like we can examine, you know, they were doing a lot of like wastewater examination was in the news a lot with like COVID, right? And so I feel like in this day and age, again, not that the screenplay is going to tell you, but a reason he can't just flush it is because there's probably like within each household a wastewater detector. And it's like the second there's a drop of that shit in there, you know, you're getting. shot the face. Dude, if you pee too much, Angus McFadden's on your TV yelling at you or something.

Well, yeah, that's the thing. They definitely knew from the beginning. It's, it's a common trope. You throw down, you know, pills you don't want any more, booze you don't want anymore, the toilet it goes. So they knew that these prosiums were going to go there eventually. So they definitely, they either have a shit cleric or they have

something equipped in the pipes where they notice those things being flushed down. No, I imagine it's a dude with like a he's got the same kind of priest jacket looks all cool his hair slick back but it's brown and he's just got like long gloves and he's just doing a little shit kata like oh yeah most people uh you know use certain angles when they're looking through shit me i know all the right angles and all the cool angles that i'm using when i'm slipping and slide through your piece yeah and he's waiting he can like piss fight you too you know yeah totally he piss you piss one way

it'll hit you across the room somehow. Waiting hip-deep in shit and just like picking little vials out of the shit and just throwing them up in the air while like flashbangs happened like the first gunfight scene. The waste management clerics, I love those guys.

You know, his jacket wasn't always brown. Yes, dude, it's all the years in the field. He's been blooded or bled or whatever they say in the military. First time I've ever been died, Yeah, just got, just got in there. Oh, here's an emotion.

Like, what about things being gross? Like, so you're just like, this is fantastic. I love shit so much. Look at me. I have no feeling. Why, you accidentally eat it every day. Because you don't know what to do, because you have no fucking emotion.

No, I see that reasoning. You know what? Here's the thing, man. This is a stupid movie, but I don't think it's that stupid. No, I think it I mean, the fucking thing about that is Like you do you don't even see like

I don't remember is there like a food scene other than the The cocoa puffs The cockapuses is right little turds Just oh actually freeze dried You might be right They're fucking deer pellets dude That was Sean Bean's last words It's like yeah it's not even the Yates man

It's I'm really tired of eating poo Aren't you Aren't you tired of eat your own poo it's rabbit shit man look at the little turds they're telling you it's cocoa puffs it's rabbit shit this is genius because that means you have to take the prosium in order to lead a normal life because then you wouldn't taste the shit necessarily exactly otherwise you would go crazy because like otherwise i don't know how you're not vomit well this this fucking great conversation is making me tell too right what this movie is missing and it definitely should have

had with the Angus McFadden character, you're doing a little bit of Soiling Green here, right? Like, there should be a thing where the high up in society people are just laughing. You got Dom Deloese laughing going on. They're horny. They're fucking

drunk and angrily fighting with each other. Like, you get to a high enough point in society. You should still be able to, like, have emotions and all that shit. And that's part of this whole we're bringing down, you know, walking on Angus McFadden watching Spike TV masturbating or something

they're like, you're feeling, you're feeling, mate. Well, that would be, that would be a great reveal for the end, which is so dull, um, is you go to Angus McFadden's pad and oh man, there's like fucking posters everywhere. There's like, you know what I mean? Right, yeah. He's listening to the Beatles or something. Yeah, exactly.

It's like, oh, you know, which is what fascism is all about. It's like, you know, not for thee, but for me, you know, that would be a fine cherry on top and actually to push forward something. thing at the end of this film, which there's nothing. I get what you're saying, but also, and I'm not crazy about this movie, but also Tay Diggs's face getting cut off. It's pretty great. Pretty good. Not a bad trade. I'll be honest, between that and

Beatles reveal. Because this is what we're I don't know. You're at your, how about both? Because that's, thank you. Well, that's the thing too is like the this is the middle of the movie that gets so sloggy. And that's why we're like kind of jumping around. because it's just kind of Christian Bail going around. Nothing.

Yeah. Do we're going on raids? We're just going on raids. There's raids. There's a training scene where Tate Diggs and him meet up and they briefly spar and like these Kendo outfits and. No, no. That scene is to just tell Christian Bale, another raid is happening, dude.

That's all it is. But it shows you the training, you know, when he taps his balls in this sparring match. So that's something. He taps his nuts. Like I could have gotten. in the nuts day digs no you know what get him in the nuts get him in the god damn nuts i agree get him in the nuts this movie is stupid enough it should have gotten him in the maybe if you hit someone hard enough in the nuts they're like you must be feeling something

to do that yes that's oh that that's a that's a that's a tell that's that you get incinerated yeah so if eric kicks me in the nuts and i start crying am i then going to be incinerated of course yeah because you felt something what you fucking feel something for and i'll be incinerated for wanting to kick you in the nuts I guess so. You'll get your revenge in the afterlife. This just reminded me of something great. This reminded me of something great. Now, if you guys remember Comedy Central back,

we're talking like late 90s, early odds, they had a show where like it was a game show where you sat in a chair and a standup came out and you, like, they would do material and you had to do your best, like, not to laugh, right? And if you got past a certain amount of time, like, you were in the clear and you got to go sit back down. And if you laughed, like, you lost, right?

If we brought that game back, but in the world of equilibrium and it's like, oh, if you laugh, you get fucking shot in the head. And it's just like, that's a thing that's on like state TV in this world. I would love that. Yeah. Comedy's kill. Anything to switch off the father channel, I'd be fucking three. you know what I mean?

Oh, 200 channels, nothing but father on. Yes, there's this raid where like, for whatever reason, I think it's the raid that we go on after the Kendo sequence with the nut tapping. Where Christian Bail, and I mean, like, that's the thing about Christian Bail's, like, the middle of this movie. Like, he needs to find the resistance sooner because he sure does, floundering. He's floundering because he sees all these dudes and he's like, just go out the back door.

They're like, you're just going to shoot me in the back. of the head. He's like, no, I promise I won't. Just go out the back door. And he's like, oh, fuck, I'll take you. And I'm like, this is the end of the movie because once you get caught, you get, you're in a fucking oven, dude. There's a guy that fucking finds out about it, dude, right in the scene. He's like, you just go back that way. The dude is like, what Steve just said, like, no, you're going to shoot us in the back and we run away. And he goes, all right, no, just follow me. And he leads these dudes away. And they cut very pointedly to have.

motorcycle helmet guy staring right at him watching him do it and it comes to nothing that motorcycle guy is my favorite execution of the movie now I'm remembering it because like what's happening is like motorcycle guy is executing a guy across the street

while Christian Bell's yelling at these guys and the way he executes this guy across the street he's got him up against the wall and the guy puts up his hand like please don't execute me and then he gets shot listener I was laughing that's always funny

like one of those hands gonna do oh man it is great and yeah so then like Christian Bale just kind of like

beats up on some more dudes or whatever and then it turns out Tay Diggs rounded up all these guys that Bail let go and this is like the big test right

because Tate Diggs is on to him and it's like all right Christian Bail like these dudes got away now go ahead and execute them and it's this whole like back and forth thing and he's like no I think in the end

it'll be better if you have it he like gives a gun back to Taye Diggs and if I'm Tate Diggs I'm just like no man it's all you dude like you almost got these dudes and they almost got away from you end it all right here man like force this dude to do it because then it would have been a thing where it's like

because they do film Christian Bale make an eye contact with one of these resistance guys and I'm like all right, he's going to favor, you know, keeping his identity up right here and just kill these dudes. And then it would at least make it like a little bit more interesting. Like he had to make a really hard decision like that

even though now he's like fully feeling emotions and whatever. And it's like, no, no, no, just pass it back to Tay Diggs. And then these other guys just assassinate them all anyway, firing squad style. Exactly. I don't know why. I think this is just to facilitate the dumb twist that really comes to nothing later on because now apparently Christian Bail has switched

guns with Tay Diggs so that his gun will be read as the one that was at the puppy the puppy freedom fight that was happening earlier where he killed those guys that found him and the puppy. He should have been spending less time in his

backyard fucking around with guns and more times in front of the fucking typewriter dude figured this shit out. I don't think he can you know I just don't think he's got it in just if that's the case then find a fucking screen writer and a director and well this is what i don't get though like he's way more of an accomplished screenwriter than a director he has he has way more scripts than directorial efforts but it's like

find someone to just be like hey man i got this idea for gun kata and that's all i got let's make a whole movie around it i got no business making a movie around it but i invented gun kata can we make a movie out of gun kata let someone else give it a shot oh man this is a disastrous filmography as a writer. I mean, it's fine, whatever. It's better than May. Sveir, Thomas Crown Affair, the equilibrium, the recruit ultraviolet, of course, street kings, law-abiding citizen previous

episode, salt, total recall remake, point break remake, spell and now children of the corn. No, thank you. Most of, almost all of that is no. Oh, and something called misfits with Chris Rosnman.

Yeah, it's mostly no. Rennie Harlan. Oh, that's, yeah, of course. Dude, enough for any Harlan on this show. We've got him coming up in two weeks. Enough already. Enough already. That's right. Enough.

So like this is sort of like when to Andrew's point there's this like mini mystery of like he goes in. He kind of confronts what's her face. Emily Watson in a sexy way about her relationship with Sean Bean. This is where I was saying he was getting the boner, dude. Oh yeah. He like. Like she gets like

flipped up onto the fucking table and he's like staring at her like and they're both like breathing and he's like looking at her and I was like oh this is him like learning what it feels like to be horny interesting yeah oh yeah it's all over for him now

now the guys with guns are good tape days can feel that horniness from five rooms over yes this is not just some normal day horniness but yeah Mary Emily Watson's character is about is about to be burned they found a photo of her with Sean Bean

also with the word freedom on the back very very stirring Sean Bean's like previous belongings or whatever like that photo and then he wrote freedom on the back I was think it's so funny that he looks at freedom and it gives him emotions he finds another he finds another one that says come on the back

he finally found it that's part of this dumb little mystery where he's like wait a second and he basically just goes to the freedom building which I guess is like a school and he throws that guy through the bookcase and he's like oh I found the fucking underground great. Not the Hall of Destruction

you mean or any of these other stupidly named fucking buildings we got to deal with here the League of Justice. A thing that's very funny about the freedom photo a couple of things. One, it's a picture of Sean Bean and Emily Watson and they are just

straight up not even look at it. It's a really bad Photoshop thing. But what's great is you see a shot of him bail like opening you know the box or whatever it is looking through all of Sean Bean's shit and he comes across this thing with a bunch of hidden

photographs in it and the freedom thing is in that and so you see it and it's like freedom scrolled on the back of the photograph when you see it again later it is written completely differently Of course it is. Like, it is just, it is not the same prop whatsoever. Really bad.

Also, by the way, when we find the freedom photo, we're looking at Sean Bean, who's on the slab. He would have been more rotting. Maybe that's something father invented is how to slow bodies because this is like well into the movie. And he's got a bullet hole in his chest. And I was like, dude, I saw that guy get shot at the head. What are we talking about? You can keep fuckers on ice for a long time, though. Okay. So that might be it. But you're totally right. How did the bullet wound go from his fucking forehead to his chest?

I don't know. I think good memory is also a kind of emotion, Steve. That's probably a problem for them. Continuity, man. It's the enemy of, I don't know. Kurt Vimmer. But so this is, yeah, when we get to the school, like, you know, trying to fucking wrap this movie up. And this is a hilarious, again, just it's so poor.

All of this is so poor. he's fucking yelling at this teacher like you know I'm the cleric everybody get the fuck out of here you know I'm looking for this dude you know blah blah blah the guy's like oh he came in here with a fella named Yergan

you gotta find Yergan and he throws this dude through a wall and there's William Fickner going how's it going I'm Yirgin yes and here in the welcome to the underground and you see like that like people are walking above like on the street level like

You've got kind of like a little light like cubes there in the ceiling of the street or whatever. And here in the underground where it is exactly the same as it is up there. Well, yeah, it's awesome. Kind of looks like the hallways from us, the underground in us a little bit. Drab clothing. There's a desk and a chair and then more just emotionalist windows like windows to nowhere. There's windows in the underground that there's nothing on the other side. Okay, whatever.

It should be a thing where like that's where. the undergrounders wore all the fucking conference final t-shirts goer like you didn't fucking win the Super Bowl like that's where your t-shirt goes or whatever like so it's just all of these people wearing like inaccurate

t-shirt saying like so-and-so won the Super Bowl but it was the wrong team like it's just all bogus clothes and William Vickner should also be like oh thank God you saved that dog yeah no all those dogs that were up there that you guys shot yeah they're from my dog fighting ring we do down here so the only form of entertainment we have right it's something

dude and also William Fickner's like we've been watching you Preston and I'd be like have you how how how how show me that even once like you know Preston walks through something

and then like he you know William Fickner is hiding behind the wall like interesting right well you know instead we just have this scene and then we do the polygraph test of like this will show if you're actually feeling blah blah blah the polygraph test but also what really tells him that he can feel finally is that and this would tip me off as well is he has a red ribbon red ribbon with the fucking scent of Emily Watson in his pocket and I'm like a woman you met two days ago my man that just smelling this fucking ribbon all day long but she was with my partner so now she's with me. Yeah, yeah. You understand? It's, it's a Clapton Harrison situation there. Exactly. Exactly. And this is great too because I think William Fickner's character at this point realizes we don't have much movie left here and he's like, oh, hey, better speed things along. Hey, Christian Bell, you know, it would be great if you killed father. And Christian Bell's like, it would be great if I killed father. All right. That is it. That sounds great. That's the convincing. That's all the arm testing needed. You will save society if you fucking kill.

father. And it's like, oh, how am I going to do that? Well, he never grants an audience with anybody. It's like, well, what if I gave them the whole underground? And Angus McFadden's like, yeah, sure, whatever. The movie got like nine minutes left. What do you want? That's, yeah, we haven't really brought, he's been, Christian Bale has been having private like camgirls sessions with Angus McFa about the future of their fascist regime and what's going to happen to it. And he's just like, father wants it. So father gets it now. And he's like, yeah, I'll give you the entire underground. I'll do it all. I don't know what was stopping me before. Like, yes. I guess I just decided to

do this now. Who knew? I could do it. And he does. And I think at this point, uh, it's, it's kind of a one, two, three thing. Like, he says he's about to do that. But then, uh, he realizes that Emily Watson is about to be burned. And he's like, oh, wait, I have feelings. So he has like this very dramatic. This is when he starts really shoving dudes in gray suits in the, in the street. Oh, yeah. And I feel like if you're caught running, I mean, that right there, it's like, well, where are you going? The emotion factory? Come on. I'm going. The guy from Back to the Future Three is just like, run for fun. What the hell kind of a motion-fueled phone is that?

We allow this one old prospector to still exist. flavor and he does not make it to emily Watson's burning and you know what I kind of want a little bit more here because we just sort of see this weird like T-shaped thing window where like you just kind of see her go

mother sorry sir we already locked the door and if we were opening now it would blow up the street level or something anyway yeah no she's dying well the way it's shut though it seems like the door is a piece of shit and it was like a little a jar like you could just barely see

but you're like, ah yeah, it usually shuts it so that you don't see the absolute horror of a body being burned alive and the screams and such. We usually tried to block that from all these people because that, if anything, is going to cause emotions. I mean, that really does a number. And here

is where I thought the movie was going to like kick it into high gear because it's an excellent Ms. Boppel uh ha there because uh what the like Christian Bale runs in he's like we gotta stop him and the some guy like one of the the executioner dudes here is like oh well sorry about that cleric because the machine turbines are already priming and if we stop the turbines why they would just explode right out into the street and I was like okay so Christian Bail just heard that and

here's his big call to sabotage right we're going to save it. Emily Watson. He's going to keep moving up the big tower because it's a big just video game at this point. But no, no, no, no. This woman just gets fucking scorched. And you see like her face reflected in Christian Bale's eyes

and then like flames go up. Come on movie. I want to see a fatality here. I guess it's instantaneous. I guess it's actually a pretty good way to die. This is when he breaks down, sobbing in the street. and Tadig punch him

you know it's like aha I got you now caught a feeler got ourselves a feeler yeah so you know bail is brought into Angus McFadden here and it's like

there was a scene because here again like this fucking screenplay it's like meet with the resistance go meet Angus McFadden where he says like speed up your undercover activities got it goes back and meets the with the resistance again Fickner's like all right when you go

back to Angus McFadden you know don't try to stop what's her face from getting executed like he has some line where it's like you know seeing her one last time is going to make it harder for you to do what you have to do or whatever and you know then he's arrested and brought back again

and then this is oh and sir remember we had that conversation about someone on the inside working with the resistance? Well, it's right here, Taye Diggs, I got him for you, sir. Okay, movie. Well, that's the thing is this

is a three-second rope-a-dope. You know what I mean? Because it's like, whoa, wow, Christian Bale really tricked Angus McFadden. And now he gets to meet up, he's the number one boy, so he gets to dress in a nice white suit. Right. And then immediately it's like, you didn't actually trick us, you see.

We tricked you. It's so crazy, just the amount of, like, running back and forth because it's like they even go through all the theatrics of Tay Diggs getting carried out. He's being brought to the hall of judgment. And, you know, Angus McFadden's like, it doesn't disturb you in the least that your colleague is in the resistance or whatever.

And then he's kind of like, he got to run home again because his apartment's being searched or whatever. And then this is like, like he's running. And he does a really fucking hilarious, like, He's sprinting down the hall and then right before he gets to the apartment, he stops and, like, slow walks again. I think running there is a sign of an emotion.

Yes, exactly. You should have done the Ferris people. Like, boom, bow, bow, da-da. But then, yeah, this is the kid is, like, looking for these, and you think it's like a big dun-d-d-dun moment. And he's like, you've got to be more careful with him, dad, by the way, long-lived the resistance.

Like, what the fuck? Whatever, dude. I need more than that. The kids are all right. No, you should fight the kid. Fight the kid. That would be amazing. Throw that kid through that fucking window.

Do it. Come on. Make his sister watch as you beat the shit out of it. Yeah, make this sister who is like B-roll footage for one scene later on. Like, she's not in the movie. She's not in this fucking movie. Not in there. Beat your kids.

They call that 80s cada. Oh shit, man. my old man was a black belt. But then, so, you know, Christian Bell tattles on the underground. He gets all these dudes arrested, which is all part of the plan because McFadden has agreed, like, well, I guess if you are the man that brings down the underground, sure, you can meet father. So then, yes, he's in his dress whites here with his big cool sword. Woo!

Sword! And they make him take off the sword. They do not make him take off his Travis Bickle guns for some. I don't know why that is. That seems a little weird. Dude, you're right, Kevin. Not a single metal detector. A pat down.

And these guys are sucking their own dicks about how great the security is around father. Okay, dude. Don't you want to keep Angus McFadden safe here? Like, don't you want to keep him nice and cuddly? Like, because that's the big fucking oopty-dupe

is that goddamn Angus, of course, as we said, father does not exist. Angus is fucking father. Yeah. And like, this is the big surprise,

I guess for the movie, even though I could not care fucking less. No one could. It means nothing. It's, again, it's the same actor twice. Like, it doesn't matter. And then... It does not matter. It turns out, like, speaking of not matter, like, he goes into Meet Father.

They strip them to another stick him rather to another polygraph here. Yeah. And Taye Diggs comes back in and it's like, uh-oh, actually Tay Diggs was in on it the whole time. Ha, ha, ha. And then these dudes are going to kill him.

And this is, this is, I think, I mean, I don't know if it's the dumbest part of the movie. I mean, this whole thing is just

one big dumb, but like Christian Bail's getting ready to fucking like Hulk out right here and it's like, you know, so what are you going to do about it, Christian Bale,

huh? And he gets like all mad and then like the fucking lie detector test, the polygraph, flat lines like it's a heart monitor. That doesn't think. And I think there's even a B,

and I was like that's not the same device well Andrew that means he has no emotions now what he's about to do is he doesn't feel anything sure even though that's against what the whole fucking movie was about it's in cold blood here

of course yeah and that man they must have much like America now they must have lowered the education standards because the gun cada of the younger generation is not fucking up to this Christian Bail is wiping motherfuckers out.

This is just an absolute embarrassment. Welcome to Rhonda Santis's America, dude. You can't teach any books any fucking more. You know what I mean? What are you supposed to teach? The Secrets of Gun Kata by Fudge Turkinton. PhD.

Well, it's all right. Once all the public schools go under, we can use that tax money to give back to the rich, a.k.a. the job creators. So it's all true. And it all trickle down. Oh, yeah, it's good trickle. Don't worry about it. trickling is very important. And the cool thing is if you wear a pig shirt, someone could beat you to death in the street.

That'll be fun. So then he breaks into the fucking main office here, which looks like with all the columns and everything, it's a little reminding me of Saul Goodman's office from Breaking Bed. Yeah, yeah. Probably not a good thing to make you remember right now. No, no, no.

But yeah, and so then it's like, uh-oh, now it's fucking sword played. time. He grabs a sword from one of these dudes, kills them all. And then... Pretty quick. Yeah, pretty quick. But the only thing that's quicker is the big fight between the two partners, Tate Diggs and Christian Bale. I kind of like how quick this is. It's insane. How quick this is. You know, Tate Diggs does have a nice line of, mind the uniform. I plan to be wearing it for a long time. And like, it cuts his face off. He does mind the uniform. That's sad. he cuts his face right off

it falls off wonderful I was really worried we weren't going to see it I was really worried for a moment there apparently this was the thing where Taye Diggs wasn't available for reshoots so no one knows if maybe this was like composite footage or if Tate Diggs was even there

that's why it was so short it's so fucking wild that's funny it's like something that maybe was a hindrance to the production is the one thing I remembered about this movie for the last 20 years Yeah, I mean, that's true. So then Angus McFadden is just like, Be careful, Preston, you're treading on all me dreams.

Yeah. And we're just one more thrilling gun-cata fight. Uh-huh. Then that's it. And then he kills that guy in fucking two seconds. You know, is it really worth the price? You know, taking a life, are you going to feel bad about that if you kill me? And Christian Pail says, I pay it gladly.

and just fucking kills this dude. And then he goes down to the control room. And you think there's all these dudes that hazmat suits for no reason. Working in computers, question mark. Well, that's what the production design of this movie is. It's almost endearing for that.

And all these, like, police vehicles, which are just the airport, like, hangar trucks painted white. Yeah. It's, it's wild. And Christian Bail comes in, and it's like, you think he's either going to give a speech to these guys

or he's going to, like, go behind one of the computers. and then give a speech to the whatever. But no, it's equal in a room so he shoots a bunch of stuff. You think he'd let the people know or something or try to inspire revolution. But thankfully,

William Fickner's guys that are completely developed off-screen have their bombings of the various fucking brain juice factories. Because then if there's even a one-day disruption in the brain juice factories, then people will start feeling and the revolution will have.

up and on zone, but we don't really even get to see that. No, no, what one day without the prosium and the horniness comes back and then it's all over from there. It's all over from there. People are going to be getting hand jobs under bleachers all over this fair city. You won't have it. There won't be a dry street in this city. It's all going to be wet from different kinds of shit. It'll be a fucking slip and slide, Preston. Is that what you want? We'll be able to walk down the street without getting pregnant. You're going to have to burn.

all the clothes you wear. Well, that would be fine. They're all horribly dressed in this. The trench coats got to go, I suppose. But yeah, it's like, you know, everything William Fickner said came true. As soon as word comes out that father is dead, all these bombs are going to go off.

Which there's also a weird thing here where, like, you see William Fickner and his buddy's like literally being led to execution when those bombs go off. But the movie doesn't quite let you know that William Fickner and his friend aren't also executed? Great question, yep. It should be a thing where it's like, we elect the new ruler

and it's fucking William Fickner and it's like, now let's get fucking. At the very least, you should see the resistance members liberating that prison where he's about to be fucking burned to death. That'd be nice. You know, we see like the... Or bail doing it. Anyone.

Yes. Anyone liberating these dudes would be great. Hey, maybe the little son. He's right. He's in the resistance. He just looked at. looks out on the world of Sky Gapton and who gives this fuck and smiles and that's the end of the movie. It's awesome.

Well, all this shit blows up. I mean, the only thing that you're fucking missing is playing the pixies right here, honestly. Yes. Oh, it's very. That is the end of this movie blissfully. Eric Siska, final thoughts and recommendations here, buddy. Okay. I mean, yes, this

movie is dumbest dog shit for various reasons we discussed. I mean, this movie even has, you know, Christian Bale's wife played by two different actresses and recasts in the middle. This movie doesn't give a fuck about anything. It's kind of, it's a soft recommend for me. I mean,

it's terrible. It's awful. But like if you get like a, you, you drink an entire six pack and smoke a blunt or up higher. Yeah. And your boys, you know, watching this movie, I, you could maybe have a good time with how bad it is. That's kind of my take on

it. Christopher Cabin. that sounds like the words of a sense offender to me it is right there that sounds like yeah i mean i didn't mind this this is the the second best kurt vimmer movie there you go which is not uh not something that is necessarily a gold prize in my view but like you know i i wasn't bored the uh there's one most of the fights are pretty good i guess or at least interesting enough they're the earth the first one where like it only lights up when he's shooting yeah uh right That one I thought was really cool. I thought that was a cool effect that he did there.

And there's a few little things like that that make it enough that I wasn't like dying. But man, is this the dumbest shit in the world? And as I will agree, actually, with my sense offender friend. A lot of tokech, and you might get, you might get to a nice place with this. Steven Sadek. I have never liked this movie. I never can get behind it. I do think that the, it's, the plot is dirt stupid.

The action is pretty good. not really that you can't get tired of that for a while as well if you're me it's a no and i mean the one the funny thing uh to give this to be some props at the end here after watching like you know modern blockbuster seeing that picture of chris evans and anna armas not in the same fucking movie but in the same fucking movie that's floating around the internet right now at least like they all were there in sets you know what i mean they built ugly sets that they made actors do stuff in front of them

that's kind of fun you know like there's there's actual a tactileness to this movie that I wound up appreciating which is shocking but overall it's a no for me you know it's also shot on film so it actually looks even though it's bad it kind of looks good

I mean that is the one thing I will say is I was noticing you know how good it looks just being shot on film it's not a good looking movie but it looks better than a lot of badly poorly shot digital stuff so yes, tactile is

a nice word, yeah, like you can feel them making this movie. Aside from that, no, this is a no. I really struggled with this movie today.

You know, I was watching it, man, and I'm just like, ah, is this the one? Is this the one that gives me a fucking header off my balcony? I don't know. It just was not not doing it for me. And again, I think it has a little bit to do with the fact that it thinks it's just the little

has been extreme and it's really just fucking toothless dog shit. But that is going to do it for our conversation on equilibrium. Big thanks to whoever it was that Evan, I believe. Evan. Evan in Portland. Evan in Portland,

Oregon for requesting Equilibrium. It's another Kurt Vimmer film off the books or on the books, off the table, and on the books. There you go. And boy, you know, I was just fucking

praying for the Baws to come out at any point in this movie that would have been greatly appreciated. But unfortunately, that is not the case, but that is the end

of this movie. It is not the end of content here from We Hate Movies this week because, of course, on Thursday, on patreon.com

slash we ate movies and all new episode of the Mandalorian Half Hour will be airing. We are knee-deep in recapping. that very good Star Wars show right now in its third season

so we got that going on and those episodes a lot of them tend to be 50 minutes or an hour so just letting you know the added value you know we were only going to give you a half an hour but we're giving you the whole hour on some of these episodes that's right there are no

crummy crumbies on our Patreon where listener request month also extends to We have a We Love Movies episode That was a patron requested All about John Houston's The Man Who Would Be King

That is out now A lot of Michael Kane And Sean Conner impressions Impressions Abound We have Steve A patron requested animation damnation Yeah that's coming soon On Ugly Americans

Will It seems like a mid-aughts cartoon That people really like actually So maybe I'll really like it we'll find out we'll see yeah we will see and then of course on the nexus uh chris cabin we are taking some patron requested episodes but we're not doing tng and tos is that right no we're doing uh i believe it's voyager and uh ds nine yeah in the pale moonlight is the one from ds nine at the we've all had just absolutely burst into flames

trying to say the title said i think it is something it's got the rock in it folks Folks. That's what they're doing. That's, it's a, it's a rock episode of fucking Voyager. That's right. And Eric's got the gleam glossaries. Someone requested who, who R5D4, which is a droid, an astromech droid. We will have a lot of fun. Might be, might be a little celebrity guest on that episode. So you're going to want to tune in. Got some fun stuff lined up. We also have a John Wick commentary coming later this month. You can sync up to you and watch before you watch your new John Wick 4 coming out at the end of this month. That'll be fun.

Yeah. That's right. And of course, Melro 210. Oh, yeah, back at it. Back into I, you know what? The last episode was called Collision Chorus. That's essentially what Miller's place should be called from now on is Collision Chorus because it's just all fire and brimstone and sex.

Because it's Jay Leno and Pat Marita. Yes, indeed. It is a 90-minute cop buddy movie. And if you love the Oscars. you want to subscribe to YouTube.com slash we hate movies

because our Monday on screen episode will dedicate quite a bit of time talking about the Oscars. That's right. Well, it did already. Is that right? It's available now.

If you go to YouTube. com slash we hate movies hit live, our Oscar discussion is up and running. There you go. But on the main feed here, the show continues with more listener requested

apps next week included. what delightful gem will we be covering them this was a blockbuster rental for me and I watched a couple months ago as a kind of a regular I think it was a hangover deal and it held together

hard rain oh yeah nice I'm looking forward to revisiting this it's a fun one I think Christian Slater and Morgan Freeman a battle of wits yes and a lot of rain I'm confident in saying

that I've never seen this movie A lot of firsts for this phone. I'm confident in thinking you're going to have a good time. I think you're going to have a good time. I think you're very happy. You know what I always mixed it up with is the Sylvester Stallone movie where the fucking Lincoln Tunnel collapses? Daylight. Yes.

Which also has water in it. It doesn't have a hard rain necessarily. Yeah, that's soft water there. Yeah, it's all homeowners know. That's the difference between hard and soft water is daylight and hard rain. Yeah, there it is. So until next week, when we cover hard rain, I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Sadek.

Eric Cisper. Chris Cabin. Take it easy. was a hate gum podcast.