We Hate Movies - S13 Ep670: Any Which Way You Can

Episode Date: April 18, 2023

On this week’s APE-ril episode, the guys check back in with Philo, Orville and Clyde in the cigarette and bad beer-filled sequel, Any Which Way You Can! How are these fellas bareknuckle boxing in those tight slacks? How great was it back in the day when Truckers outranked Police in this country? And boy, oh boy, will this movie remind you to always check the car seat cushion before you sit down! PLUS: Behold! One of the wildest, most disgusting sex scenes in cinema history! Any Which Way You Can stars Clint Eastwood, Sondra Locke, Geoffrey Lewis, William Smith, Harry Guardino, Ruth Gordon, Barry Corbin, Al Ruscio, and the late Buddha the Orangutan as Clyde; directed by Buddy Van Horn. DO NOT miss our WORLDWIDE virtual live show THIS THURSDAY, 4/20, where we’re talking Peter Jackson’s KING KONG, PLUS, doing a full hour, post-show Q&A after party! Can’t make it the night of? No worries! The show AND after party are available for replay for a full week after! San Francisco, Los Angeles and New Brunswick, NJ—tickets are on sale now for our upcoming spring and summer shows! Check out the WHM Merch Store featuring new DILF Den, Grab-Ass & Cancer, SW Crispy Critters, MINGO! & WHAT IF Donna? designs! Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the program, well, get your soft pack cigarettes and your six pack of bad beer because we are talking any which way you can, right? That's what it's called. Sure. I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Zadak, a member of the Arangetangetang, Hall of Fame. Eric Siska. Chris Cabin coming from Monkey Heaven. And we, ape movies.

We're going to be able to be. Hello everyone. Welcome to We8 movies. Thank you for tuning in as always. That's right. We are going back to Clinton Clyde Country. Oh, yeah. I should enunciate better. Clinton and Clyde Country. You really want to be careful with Clint Eastwood. No, no, you're close to it. Clinton lied. You're right. You're right. Andrew, he did. Better lock this movie up. Hey, my name's Clint. Try and find me. A couple folds later. Hello. The answer is always in a secret room watching Gene Hackman get it on. Why don't you lash me with your tongue, big boy? Get back here, Hackman.

Can you handle the real stuff? Don't forget about me, Clint. The most important part of the whole enterprise. Speaking about stimulating things. A virtual live show on April 20th. That's this Thursday. That is. That is this Thursday. For the high holy holiday. Absolutely. We're going to be talking another monkey move. That's right. King Kong, 2005. Peter Jackson. Eric will be there stimulating guerrillas. Oh, yeah. I've always said. Well, actually, the greatest gorilla that's ever been. King Kong. He's the greatest. Although we were talking about this, Clyde might have beat him at the box office. He might have. We will get those numbers, you know, for the show. But there will be a finger cam at the virtual live show this Thursday. Moment.C.O. slash we hate movies. Get your tickets now and join us for a night of King Kong. I'm going to say Donkey Kong.

That's his little brother. He'll come up in conversation for sure. Absolutely. I mean, they're kissing cousins for sure. And not a day goes by where I'm just not talking about Donkey Kong anyway in some fashion. Two days from this. episode. That's right. Tell your family. Tell your friends. Bring them all out. They can all come, man. That's the brilliance of a virtual live show. For this episode specifically, we really need to. That's the. Oh, yeah. Hang on course. Yes. Suit up, Steve. Oh, yes. This is, I get the stats out here. Any which way you can from 1980 directed by longtime stuntman and friend of Clint Eastwood, Buddy Van Horn. He directed three motion pictures, all with Clinties with this movie.

And he also, I'm presuming filled in for Clint here, like on the directorial chairs for these movies. This movie, the Deadpool and Pink Cadillac. Just like, yeah, you do it, buddy. You could do it. Now, you know, I know for a fact that Clinton Tarantino is saying this film critic movie is going to be his next and last movie. Yes. You know, he's going to keep saying that he should do a sequel to Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. where Rick Dalton is in a monkey movie

directed by Cliff. Cliff is now a director. Like, you know what I mean? Because that's how he gets him back for all the shenanigans with the the Manson murders. It's like, hey man, hey good buddy, you could direct me in my next picture. Yeah, totally.

You know what? I say go experimental a little bit. Have Clinies would play himself back in the old time. Yes. Oh, is that fucker? Do you know what? Don't even. Just let him out there. Hey, there. We're going to the street. to get some ladies. Or that could be like the final.

It's like he gets a letter and it's like Clyde has died. So he goes with son of Clyde like out on the road for some reason. It's like this old ass skeleton and a healthy orangutan on the road, you know? Whoever, I mean, when Clyde dies, he is very clearly going to go. Clyde's dead, by the way. In the universe when Clyde died. guys. Sure. Philo is going John Wick on whoever he can blame it on. Oh, absolutely. Even if it's like a Waffle House manager. He's going after them. Come, Mother Nature. He's got to be one of those guys. He takes Clyde to the animal hospital finally, like probably way too late. Yes. And the animal just dies there. And he's like, now I'm going to kill all these doctors.

It was that big city veterinarian. Exactly. Yeah. It certainly wasn't the 30 rack of Coors light that this fucking ape was putting back every week. We talked about it on our first episode, every which way, because it's part of the which way of verse. Which I think just consists of two movies, but go ahead. And then anything everywhere all at once is part of that. That's true.

It should have been a monkey in that movie. The first movie episode like 155 of this podcast, a thousand years ago. We mentioned about the ape in this movie, the orangutan, beaten to death by its trainer. Oh, right. Oh, Jesus.

That takes me back. Yeah. So that's, that's something apparently there was a documentary Jane Goodall was involved in this book that they used for the documentary. Oh, I thought she was pissed. Dude, I thought he was

about to say she was in on it. It was like a pipe hit and Jane Goodall for some reason. Like, what did that fucking interview? It was beaten by its trainer to keep him docile. The trainer would spray mace in his face and beat him with an iron pipe wrapped in newspaper. Well, that makes this movie a lot less fun.

And then eventually steal, it was, he had a cerebral hemorrhage for stealing donuts from the craft service table. He got killed the same way that Jack Nance from a racerhead got killed. He was stealing donuts. He's in the donut parking lot. It got beat to death. Los Angeles

is known for its donuts. It is disputed by the makeup artist. I don't know what is the truth. I'm going to guess they mistreated it. Apparently there was two Buddha, who I believe is one that got beaten to death. And then CJ was brought on after Philadelphia was completed to do publicity. So it's like, oh, look.

See what? Look at everybody. It's DJ. Now, wait, is this for both movies or is this just for part one? For part two. For this. Oh, for part two. So the one you were watching on screen here was beaten with a pipe wrapped in newspapers for stealing donuts. This is what I'm talking about, man. This, I think I was saying on the Dunstan checks in episode two. Like, I just don't think monkey movies should have been a thing. Right. Right. Just in, sorry, the death blow was an axe handle. I see. Thank you. But just around around the house was. Eric, stop rubbing your nipples while you talk about this. Also, that's what's making it weird.

Between Buddha who was beaten to death and CJ, speaking of very similar to the plot of Dunstan Checks-in episode two weeks ago. Because that was what happened with Samson and Dunstan. The story. Yes. Oh, no, no, not the actual bug. You're right, though. The story, yeah.

Oh, man. Some guy with goofy teeth beats the shit out of this name. It's very sad, you know, when this stuff happens. obviously here I'll make it happier here's a cheer of the episode beers to you my good buddy

the fucking soundtrack this movie awesome from monkey heaven no that's whiskey heaven sorry it starts with this fucking song

that is Ray Charles and Clinties would duetting and the story of like the storytellers in the song right they're singing about like we were in Vietnam together this whole fucking thing

We're in Tucson honky tonk and join ourselves. I wish they sang we were in Vietnam together. They say something a little different to describe that experience. Yeah, he says like those South Asian boys, blah, blah, blah. And then the fucking theme song or the like the melody of the tune gets a little xylophone action right when we say South Asia. Just in case anyone wasn't paying attention. Look, you want a little bit of map. You want some finger point in here.

You got to know where to go. But it's just so bizarre to hear Clint Eastwood sing. Just sing. Yeah. Oh, so wait, have you not seen Grand Trino and heard his beautiful singing voice? No, I'm not. Oh, it's great. Oh, Korean. Grand Turino and Koreans. He's got something to say about them too. He sings the theme song to that. And then I think Michael Bouble does a version over it. It's quite nuts. That's a hard pass. It's the mule. Having a three Switzerland with some ladies. That's, it's great. He should do that for his next and final out. right. Clint's back in the saddle. He's going to have one more. The crime. That's, I mean, famous like, Tarantino, too. Like, I'm just like, oh, this is like the seventh time. Clint Eastwood's like, I'm going to, I'm going to quit. With Eastwood, you got to get like

someone on deck to direct it in his place once he dies for insurance purposes. Oh, that's what happened to fucking Altman. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Right. Yeah. It's a very home companion. Yes. Get Cooper. Bradley Cooper would do that shit for him. He certainly would stand right in. Shotgun. Yeah, so, like, we're watching our friends from the first movie, Philo Clyde, and Otis, Otis. Orville.

Orville. Driving to this, I guess you'd call it a match, is what we'd call it? I mean, he's driving to like some sort of construction site, mining operation, where he's

indeed going to fight a representative from the sheriff's office in, you guessed it, bare knuckle boxing. this is where like if you're I forget what the the justified thing they're bringing back is the prequel should be like railing given's father fucking taking like having to run these things like oh sure and like have to be the backup in case somebody like goes off on a bit or railing given's just doing it now do like what's you've been doing since the show ended oh bare knuckle boxing it just like to watch that take the shirt off yeah totally just seems like a justified type of place

where just like hardworking truckers and highway patrol men you are getting down to watch a fight. Yes, you are right. This sounds more appropriate for fucking Kentucky or Tennessee. We are in Los Angeles. It's so weird. The Tennessee neighborhood of Los Angeles. Absolutely.

You see a Bakersfield, you know, it gets a little oaky up there, I guess, is the idea. I think that's that's true. But we don't get to Bakersfield towards later. Still, it's L.A. somewhere, presumably. That's how I live my life, man. It's L.A. somewhere. weirdly this is just Beverly Hills but it's it's awesome just the cigaretteiness

the fucking you can smell this movie yeah the idea of going to a sporting event where both participants are wearing slacks is really enticing to me like just like some Dickies work pants yep absolutely I love because you don't really know what's going on at first and like the first interactions with people

you see in this movie are like Hillbillies fucking with cops like actively fucking with cops. This was a different era. This is when truckers outranked police. Yes. And I guess we got to get back there in this country. This was a balance and it worked. You'll see Philo

and Clyde tackle with the police and come up on top throughout the entire film franchise. They treat them like buffoons. It's an ACAP movie. Yeah. The idea at least in the 70s, again, weird is this 1980. pre-Ragan, just about pre-Ragan, is that this is, the working man was against the cop.

The cop was against the working man. You know what I mean? The cop is trying to fucking tangle you up and give you a ticket, et cetera, et cetera. You just have to watch the movie Convoy. Yes, exactly. The movie Convoy is all you need to understand, like, American's sociopolitical relations at the time. Cops are always fucking up your day, no matter what. Well, look at Smoky and the Bandit as well.

You know, Beaufortee Justice, quite a caricature of the highway cop. and it extends through all these other sweaty-ass summary-feeling movies. You know what? I kind of, I mean, like, I know there were plenty of them made. This was even made afterwards. But I do kind of have to point the finger. Well, I guess not because it's like, I was going to like Serpico like being like now, because it did so well.

Yeah, but I mean, Serpico is anti-com. I mean, it was anti-cacom, but like that the hero cop was there. The blockbusters, right? The 80s blockbusters where every action hero is like, yeah, I'm a cap. But I'm trying to think of who like was. like an actual like you saw the beat cop like because they say that and like dying. John McClain's

not really doing like cop work. Robo cop. That's critical. I mean like. That's also been critical. Yeah. I'm trying like lethal weapon I guess. I guess that's the one. Yes. As far as what like this start of like copagandic? Yeah. Yeah. Sure. It's a little late.

What started the avalanche? I'm trying to think. Oh, I don't know. Yeah. But I mean, I'm just interested. It's just because it's that was. That was a hooker. television, really. That's true. And Hill Street Blues and all that stuff. Yeah, it did come in through TV. Streets of San Francisco. Yeah. Like it comes in through TV, week and week out. You're watching. All of those old ass Adam. Adam 12 and all that shit. Those are like, yeah, the cops. Now we're on patrol. Police Academy. Huh? Police Academy. Oh, well, yes. But that's the 80s, isn't it? Yeah.

You know, what's funny is I wonder if you could track whatever it is inside of fucking Clint Eastwood filmography. Like, well, I mean, Dirty Harry. But Dirty Harry. But Dirty Harry. The bad cop. Yeah. But we like it. Yeah, we like it. But you need a bad cop to catch a bad criminal. Exactly.

There's that whole thing. I'm just like, Dirty Harry definitely would be wearing the, have a Punisher mudflap for sure. Oh, absolutely. I mean, I love that Marvel comics character.

The Punisher. I saw a Punisher skull blue Lives Matter pin on a train conductor today. I'm like, come on, guy. Come up with your own little thing. And you know what says about? Atab, all trade conductors are bad. Well, you know what that means, dude? That is, what?

All right, I'm going to put a guess in my head. I'm going to ask you right now, what did this guy look like? He was a white guy. No, I know. No shit, but a little, give me a little more to work with. Oh, boy, geez, you know, that kind of nondescript American mix. I don't know. No, the height build, that kind of thing.

Was the shirt struggling for structural integrity? Here's what I'm getting. Here's what I'm getting. Okay. Crew cut. Okay. Here's what it is. Here's what it is.

Exactly. Probably 52, 55. Here it is. This is exactly what it is. That dude is a guy who tried to be a cop and failed. Which means he was too much of a fucking maniac to be granted a slot on the NYPD. You fucking look out for that guy riding the rails. That is a rocket ready to launch.

A Bernie Gets type of. Yep. Which is what you love. So there, yeah, by the way, this month. By the way, I will say if I have a critique of this movie, which I have a few, number one with a bullet is not enough Clyde, I think. He disappears for large struts in the movie. The beginning of this movie, he is gambling. He is a gambling ape, which has now churned again, that's back in the 70s and 80s.

We had gambling apes. Now we have gambling apps. Very different. Oh, nice one, dude. Yeah. I just was, I had a shovel and this thing was coming in the episode. I don't care. I love it.

No, I mean, you're totally right, dude, like a gambling ape kind of great. Like, you would almost wager that that's what people are coming to see, buying a ticket to this fucking movie. And when it becomes like Clint Eastwood boxing the dude who's also kind of his friend to get back at the mafia. You're just sitting there like, where is the ape? Well, yeah, because it's always Eastwood saying, oh, he's going to do something. And then it's not really, it's not really monkey based. It's not orangutan based. Like him ripping the cars apart.

It's just watching stuff fly in the air. It's sort of like the first one, too. It was still about Mr. Philo-Doh-Doh. Is that his name? Fylobettoe. Fylobetto. Yes, he's a Greek gentleman, Philo-Doh. He washed him on these shows.

Oh, God, didn't know I was playing ethnic in this movie. But, you know, the ape is gambling. And one thing he tells, like, I'm going to go fight this guy. This is a funny gag where it's like on the other side the cops have this ringer this guy who's beaten up everyone at is a Marine Corps

the joke keeps being like yeah but he's no Marine like he's even tougher than a Marine he's tougher than a Marine or whatever so he could beat this cop who was a Marine and beat all these people the first what I was trying to get at before is the first movie is also about

Eastwood going around boxing people and slide is sort of just there right yeah I guess that's fair this is a bare knuckle boxing franchise well yeah like this is more I mean this is more of a rocky thing where you're building up to a big fight. Yes.

And they're buddies. Like Wilson, the guy he's going to fight eventually. Yeah. Is his buddy through most of his movies? He certainly is. The honor amongst fighters. Yeah,

it's very nice to see. Can we just talk about one thing? I don't know if we touched this on the last time we talked about this franchise, which was a hundred years ago. Yes. Millions of brain cells ago. Almost a decade. The,

just the, and I guess too, I've had like pugilism on the brain, like just saw Creed 3 a couple weeks ago and whatnot. the notion of bare knuckle boxing as the event just and I got to hand it

whoever did the Foley work on this movie the fucking fight scenes dude you are just hearing roast beef hit ham and it is really something we need more of it I'm gonna say I think with this needs a bare knuckle boxing is such a cool thing to watch like I honestly think

you should make IRL or in the pictures dude hey you pick them which way you want to go well because I'm saying we're going out in the road on a few weeks. Maybe we should try to find somebody wants to point me to it. I absolutely will go and lay down 20 bucks on a fucking fight. We are going to be playing a show near you. I'm guessing San Francisco has it too.

California. Get at us. Let us know where we can get to some underground fighting. No, no, no, no. I don't want it under. The point of it is it's got to be outside. I want that bare knuckle like above ground fighting. Please. He wanted to be like a circle of trucks. Yes. That's something. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. I meant underground is illegal. Oh, okay. It's not some dranian mole people fighting.

Oh, my God, sewer fighting. I thought you're talking about a fight club situation. Frankly, if there is some interesting boxing going on when we're in L.A. or something, I would go see something. I just believe in Babylon. I want to really clear about this, no bum fights. I want both men to at least have some sort of housing that they could return to. Absolutely.

And that they are doing this of their own free will. I don't want the prize at the end of the fight to be a bottle of hooch. Okay. Like a check. This is what the next, if they're going to, no, no, no. You know what? Whatever the next John Wick kind of movie is, it should be based in the world of bare knuckle boxing rather than gun cada.

Yes, or cockfighting. Well, look this is human cockfighting essentially. Also, we've already made. Get those cocks out. Let's fight them. We've already made the greatest cockfighting movie ever made. Cockfighter. But it's true.

It's great movie War Notes. Here's something. And we see Clint Eastwood jogging a little later in the movie, seems to be the only exercise he gets and unlifted it. 10 miles a day. And it's an engine block. So, you know, that's a lot of core activity there. You get your biceps going.

Sure. Does anyone know how to block? Everyone is just like punches for it. That's like, no that everyone's just taking it right to the face. And you hit with your hands, dude. No one blocks in this movie. It's kind of staggering. Hey, uh, Philo, you sure you want to be a jogging in jeans?

Dude. What, what exactly is the thought for us is, I like to have my thighs, scratched up. We were stronger back then, you know? We got a bunch of soft boys here. We learned at the end of this fight that he has to stop because he's like the pain. So maybe that's what the jeans are. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

You eat it up like candy that Yeah. Yeah. I go jogging 10 miles a day and my nutsacks in a vice the whole time. It's a denim vice while I'm exercising. And that seam, it just kind of rubs back and forth. It's almost like a saw

on your balls going back and forth. that little middle scene there. Hey, Sandra Locke, things have changed around here in the bedroom, if you understand me. I eat pain like candy, so, you know, I have a raw scrotum. Yes, I'd like to see some CBT that doesn't stand for cognitive behavioral therapy. It's cock and ball torture. I'm going to put on a bulletproof vest before we can have the sex next time, and you're going to shoot me directly in the heart.

And then I'm going to fuck the shit out of you. That's a way to go, man. I actually kind of fucking hot. Honestly, my God. So he lays waste to this dude. It's like the cops try to do like a he ain't down, blah, blah, blah. He ain't had enough. And Glenn's like, he's had enough.

Yeah. And what's it? Where's Clyde? Fucking ape is shitting in the police car. How can you not love this guy? I mean, immediately, I mean, telling, just a genius way to bring the audience to your hero right off the bat is like, Clyde has been going as the fight has been going on, Clyde has been visiting a nice cop car here and just shit all over the front seat. Oh, man. Oh, man. It's a gag that pays off in the movie. Also, multiple times. I appreciate that, of course.

So right after this, he's like, yeah, oh, oh, Orville, I'm out, man. I'm starting to get a Woody in the ring, dude. It's no good for nobody. Hit me, daddy. Hit me. Could you kick me in the nudge? I know it's illegal in the fight, but just, you know, for shit and giggles. Speaking of illegal fights, we get a quick, we get a cut cross-country to NYC, baby. What kind of fucking crazy fighting must we do in New York if out in California, these guys are fighting in construction? Oh, oh, it's just the mafia and it's a big glass cube and it's a weasel versus a

mangoos versus snake. Oh, is that what it is? Yeah. No, yeah. I don't know. These little marmots, man, you know? That's the natural enemy, right? That's the ricky tiki-tappy fight, dude. You're betting on Rudyard-Coupling shit. Oh, shit. No, we just love watching rodents get poisoned. We absolutely love it. Little cameo here. Ken Lerner shows up. A little

Love be some Ken Lerner. His brother just passed away. That's right. Our IPD. David Lerner. Michael Ler. Michael, excuse me. The best of the best. Mayor Ebert in Godzilla 98. Among other more legitimate. I mean, the studio head in Bart Fink is the one I always think of.

Benominal. Ken Lerner, the first principal on the vampire slayer eaten by his own students which is fun. Oh, right. We just, he popped up in something we were covering recently. Law and order, he's rife. He's just everywhere there. But anyway, so all these fucking gumbas are having this

fight and you're watching, I mean, this was real. Right. You can't face. this in 1979. It's literally a snake biting a mongoose a couple of times. Which is what they're naturally meant to do. Sure. You know, they're like, these are two guys

that fight each other, so you put them together. Oh, I guess you don't like Louis Bunewell, do you? You got a problem with this? He's poking you in the chest. You don't like Louis Boodwell. You're not, you don't like it.

So a goat has to die. It's a masterpiece. What's wrong with you? Here come the 1981 woke left coming at me for killing animals on my movies. Why don't you just put another nail through my hand while you're at it? And kids, we understand it is terrible. There shouldn't be animals shouldn't be murdered or maimed for the production of a film. But here we are. There's a wild moment where like the dude who's got the mongoose, you know, he's on team mongoose.

It's like, oh, hey, fuck they. He's not going. The fight should still be going on. And then this guy who's Mr. Jim Beekman here is going to be like the big bad guy kind of, but just more like the gambling organizer. He just comes, he finds himself in the morass of what the end of this movie is. Yeah, he gets wrapped up in it. It becomes like it's a mad, mad world in a way. There's no real antagonist at all.

But this guy says, well, you mongo, or, yeah, he's like, your mongoose is going to be dead in 15 seconds. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. That's 15 seconds for me to take my pants off and jerk off to your sadness. I mean, look, I grew up with the Bronx. There was the mafia around. I never saw any, I never walked in on any mongoose v. snake battle. Right.

So no one you knew were training mongoose or snakes. No, not at all. No, no, no. I've seen people do gambling pickups. Those were fun. Maybe you just weren't curious enough. No, yeah. back then, you know.

Jefferson's a gambling pickup where the dude who's being picked up from wasn't quite ready to pay. No, he was, oh, he was ready. He was really, really friendly about it. He had a little envelope. He's like, oh, thanks, buddy. Talk you soon. Didn't you witness a Mystic River, too? Yeah, I don't talk about that so often.

Just some kid got in the car that he probably shouldn't have. And I was like, I don't know if that's legal. It was the end of that kid. Absolutely. Chaffter closed. Yeah, but so these do. I mean, now I have to tell the story because that sounds like, Oh, yeah, all right.

I think you've told the story on the show before. It's all right. There's new listeners I want to hear the story about. We've wet their whistle with animal cruelty. Let's talk about child ablux. And Mystic River, all the new young listeners. My phone had been turned off, which is, which was the style at the time. So I was a, you mean it's a landline phone?

Oh, yeah. No, but you got to explain. Oh, yeah. Look, we have, and we appreciate them, a lot of Gen Z listeners. And we're old farts. That's right. We've been doing this a while. I was 13 years old.

My phone, the family phone had been turned off as it was. and I went across the street to use the pay phone to call a movie phone to find out when Spawn was playing. A movie phone kid's was it was literally the Fandango app into a phone line. You dialed a number and some dude went, hello, and you asked him about what was playing. And a pay phone used to be a thing that was on certain blocks. And it was covered in bum piss. Watch Seinfeld, you'll get both of them. You could still make a call if you had a few quarters on you.

And a nose that didn't work. Quarters were a currency denomination. It was introduced by the Federal Reserve. And a street. So whatever. I'm listening to when Spawn is like Spawn is playing at. And this guy, and I'm right in the corner. And I see this kid like 13, 14 run.

And then this car literally jumps on the curb and cuts him off. Like Popeye Doyle was driving. One Italian guy comes out. Hey, you think it's funny to hit my car. You think it's funny to hit my car. And the kid's like, I don't know, I don't know. He's like, get in here right now. And the kid got in the car and they drove away.

Spawn. We'll be playing at Bay Plaza, 830. And I'm like, got it. Hang up. And I did see Spawn that night. And I don't know what spawned from that kid. Were you drawn to my cement? Were you drawing in my cement?

Get in this car. Get in this car. In retrospect, I probably should have called. the cops, but in the days of yours. And then a few days later, you said that the whole neighborhood had all these posters. That part is a fake part of the story. There were no candles on that part of the story either. And you didn't want to get in trouble so you didn't mention anything. There were no murals at your local school. Stephen, I'm begging you. Was that my son in there? Listen, he probably got, you know,

punched in the face a couple of times. Who knows what happened? It's not that Mafio so's fault that the kid then fell out the car and died from headwood. You know what he probably did? He probably drove him home and he said, had a word with his father. Listen, your son was being a real piece of shit.

It's none of our business. Sure. This man did. It's none of our business. Steve's totally right though, man. That guy, that gentle mafioso, they're not going to hurt a kid. He went, he took him home into the house. He said, where's your father? Some loser came outside. Then

that guy got garretted. Now, do you have a sporting good store? Do you happen to... Something we could aggressively take over the finances from? Do you need some borrowing? I think so. Are you a poker man? Oh, you're not going to see sport tonight, kiddo.

No one's seeing spores. So anyway, this dude is like... I've heard of this Philo Beto fella out in California. what do we say we get him to do a fight with our guy, Mr. Jack Wilson. It's so weird, the anglicized, I guess it's sort of a thing to make it more appealing to the whole country. Like if these were Italian, because they're coded as Italian mobsters. Yeah.

But they're all like Beekman and Jack Wilson and Paul, whatever. You know what I mean? That's actually true. Not many olive oil sounding names. I'm trying to think of the big mobster at the end. I'll look him up too. Maybe he has an Italian name, but maybe he doesn't. Oh, yeah, the famed Italian mobster, John O'Brien.

that they put the end of the movie. Oh, yes. There is, at the end, Al Rousseo, the gray-haired guy, who's played a mobster in everything, played Tony Paoli, Sr. I see. Oh, that dude played a mobster in everything except for, is he not also the manager of monks

in that one episode of Seinfeld? He's like, they are my daughter. Yes. Oh, and he's also David Silver's grandfather in the episode. Oh, when they go to the house, they're trying to have the house party or whatever. Yes, not at 2 and O, yeah. But so, like, so that's like sort of the beginning of it.

And now, whoever said Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, it's very accurate because I think right around here is the introduction of, I think real life married couple, Logan and Anne Ramsey, playing these like vacationing so-and-so's. Now, here's the thing because, again, I did not re-listen to the episode. And I've not seen that first movie since whenever we did it 10 plus years ago. are these characters from the first movie? No, I don't believe so.

It's just that they're a funny couple that's Vacation in California. Don't they carry themselves as such, especially because of that line where it's like, now look, Mildred, we're in California now. I was waiting for him to say, there's no way we're going to see that crazy chimpanzee. What?

Well, I guess this also establishes this movie is also like we're, don't worry folks, it's going to become a road movie eventually. The first movie is sort of a road movie. as well. We eventually go to Colorado in that movie. Oh, yeah. I guess that's true. Here we go to Wyoming. But it's just that out west

dude, that free movement. They love it out there. But it's also... She sees a monkey's dick, we should say. Oh, yeah. That's the first time they see them is he's like, oh, yeah, she goes, we're going to California. You know, I hear people are quite peculiar out there or whatever. And he's like, yeah, whatever. It'll be fine.

Mother or whatever. And then like, she's looking at the window. And the three of our heroes are out on the side of the road. all taking a piss, ape included. Luther, they're pissing. Luther, the monkey pissed in front of me. People don't piss in Iowa. We should go back home to Iowa. It's true.

Not on the road. I mean, that's, I assume part of it is like, oh, I mean, because they show up again. And I think it's, be like, here, here's, here's you audience. This is, uh, the Midwest kind of people. Oh, yeah, totally. Because they're from Iowa. And like the whole thing is like, quote unquote, real. American. Yeah. And they

have a hard time having sex. Don't you know? Oh, we will get to that. Don't you fucking worry about it, dude. They go to the local honky tonk they love. If this honky tonk could have been just the whole movie. Because I think someone was saying this before we went on the air. Every time they leave the honky tonk after you get that taste, I just want to go

right back to that honky talk. It's the same thing in the movie Nashville. Anytime we're not at the bar and someone's singing, I'm like, could we get back to that, please? The way they advertise that Fats, there's a coming suit Fats Domino but like there's a marquee out front

so I was like a little, for a minute I was like is that like a new dish they're serving from the Fass Domino? Is that like a loaded tater tots situation? No, it's literally music legend Fats Domino in this movie. It's not who we next see. It's actually Santa Locke. To your credit,

his name is displayed right next to steaks and cocktails. Yeah. We got steak. cocktails and fats domino. Sounds like a great night to me. I love the fat Domino, no sour cream. Thank you so much. So do you want the spicy Aoli and the beef brisket too? Okay, okay. That's fine.

Yeah, but so Sandra Locke is singing again at the bar and they are, I believe at the end of the first movie, they do break up. So you sort of see that like your life's too crazy for me or whatever. Much like they're real relationship. Oh, they had to be quite a disintegrated relationship there. That is no one's business on this show

I don't know the answer so I don't know It's none of our business But so like it's like oh man There's that lady that you know broke your heart Do you want to leave and Clint's like no Meanwhile Clyde goes to the bar by himself Much like a you know Like a college student you get

He likes to go to bars get drunk and make out with dudes Totally fine Clyde's fine in himself Yes yes he starts kissing this man And it takes his cigar and the guy is like I think I like that but This guy's, he's into it. Is this the jacked blonde guy? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

It's probably a thing where he sees this goddamn ape every fucking night. Yeah. Making his move. He's going to shoot his shot. I think he's getting pissed off at first because he's yelling at the bartender. He's like, you're serving that fucking ape. I didn't mean you get a beer. And I think the bartender's got to be like, look, man, that ape is tipping me.

You're not getting served because you're not tipping the bartenders. I would be more like, what happens if this ape just starts to go fucking literally ape in this bar. It rips us all apart. Yeah, excuse me, can I talk to the manager? I just want to know what your ape freak out contingency plan is. I don't mind that he's here, but he might freak out. You know there's a gun behind

the register. Yeah, that's the fucking protocol, dude. Pump action. You just shoot that monkey in the head. Which they did, and then they replaced it. We want CJ for the press tour. It was a pipe. Okay, Eric. Stop it. Or an accent. Stop being ridiculous. But yet, he makes that

this guy and then the, what do you call it there? Then Clint and Sandra Locke kind of have it out a little bit. Yeah, there's a little like, you know, I ain't mad. You left me and that's it. That's the end of that. Ain't going to be talking about feelings around here. I love pain like candy. Yeah.

Oh, give me some more of that nasty shit. Oh, I live off it. Why do you think my closest relationship is with an orangutan? Yeah. He can't say anything. Yep. precisely. I got to see that, him getting some candy off that orangutan, getting

beaten by it, be like, oh, yeah. Slap me in the face, Clyde. Throw M&Ms at me, you dirty ape. I'm training for the next fight. The next sort of, it's a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world. Intro is these fucking white

supremacists that, like, they really have it out for Philo Beto. And again, it was like, they were the bad guys in the last movie. Okay, so this is at least carryover from that. And we're like, oh, here comes. the Nazi subplot. Yeah. Oh, absolutely, man. And it's like nowhere near as charming as the Blues Brothers Nazi subplot. Not at all, not at all. Even though they're what, they're same year. Yeah, the Black Widows, these guys are. Yeah, it is same year as the Blues Brothers actually,

same release year. Um, yeah, the black widows, the name of this. Biker gang slash neo-Nazis, which I mean, that's kind of like interchangeable in a lot of parts of the country. B and J, baby. Not all biker gangs, man, but you know, a lot of few. Enough. Enough. More than enough. 99.8%. Enough. Enough of them. Well, no, you see, all those biker gangs, they have Nazi paraphernalia on them

because they hate Nazis so much. You understand? They want to, they want to be reminded how much they hate Nazis by putting it on their jackets. That's right. You know, like, if you're collecting some plates, you know, you're just a billionaire trying to get those plates off the market. Well, yeah. Real races can't own them.

Well, yeah. You understand that having the Hitler in my lock, this heart locking around, or I'm neck here. That's just because I hate him so much. That's because I denounce him. That's why he's so close to my heart. My heart is, what were you asking again? I don't like him. That's, that's, that's what? Oh, yeah. Long story short, Nazi bat. I don't like him. What was that guy's name Harlan Williams? Harlan Crow. Harlan Crow. I'm just mentioning the name. Also a justified name. That's true. That is very true. For people in the future who have no idea what

were references. Oh, don't worry, kids. A long time ago, there was a Supreme Court Justice who was great big friends with a great big Nazi. It's totally cool. And don't worry, you guess the kids, nobody did anything about it. No one will ever do anything about literally anything. So I hope you're, we're sorry your parents had you. That's ridiculous. People will make things worse. Stop that nonsense. Speaking of making things worse, Chris Cabin, excellent segue, because once again, Ruth Gordon is in this movie. Oh, dude. Just let her, just let her die.

I got to tell you, Ruth, I just loved your work in that movie where you fucked the kid. Yeah. Watched a Harry and Mid. Harry and Molly. Harry and Mid. I think that would be Harry and Low. I've actually never seen Harold and Maud. It's good.

It's a good weird time, dude. Hal Ashby, R-N-D. Great music, too. Yeah, great soundtrack also. But she, you know, she passed about five years on. from this movie and we were having a convo I was gonna say five years ago I was like what? No no no she's been dead

for decades so worry about Steve So yeah did not live to see 9-11 and God bless her for it I think she died in like 1985 So like literally five years after the release of this movie But we were having a conversation On the Mandalorian Half Hour recently With the guest starring appearance

of Christopher Lloyd there And you know Steve brought up like should we be Letting these old folks you know Is it against their will thing? Are we dragging a man is it for health insurance whatever and like Ruth Gordon it's just like you really wish the services at those like Hollywood retirement communities were just a little bit better

because then maybe Ruth Gordon wouldn't have had to come out the house for any which way you can and debase herself it's a bad it's real bad the movie stops dead whenever she's in it I mean not this movie's fantastic but like her bits are just like what's that monkey up to where's her monkey money. Where is all the monkey money? Oh, yeah. Like, it's more like she's, I mean,

like she does help during the very fun car chase. Uh-huh. Of course, is quite good. Sure. But like, it's more like, Clyde, hide the money from my. Like, yeah. It's more like, I'm a little stinker and you're my monkey friend.

Right. Cause you get, hide Bob's medicine. We're going to steal, it's going to steal some dollars out of purse. Put a pillow over Ma's face. I'm going to go to the movies, Clyde, and you're going to put a pillow over her face, and we're going to be

rich by the end of the night. I have a ticket, a single ticket to Empire Strikes Back. When I get back, Ma better be asleep. Wink, wink. Yes, I know. We made plans to see the Empire Strikes

back together, but killing Ma is way more important. It's just an alibi. will buy the shovels on my way home. Stop bugging me. I am the human here. I can do it. And listen, I ain't calling it Empire whatever.

It's Star Wars 2. I will be seeing Star Wars 2 tonight. I can't believe Clyde. You're never going to believe it. Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father. No, you didn't guess it from the trailer. No, it's not Dark Victor. It's Darth Vader, you stupid, eh?

There's something. So the representative from the mafia or whatever shows up. This guy who, his, like, the way that he's delivering these lines, he is straight out of like a 1940s Hollywood production. Oh, yeah, yeah. Hello there, Mr. Beto. I'm here to give you some news about here. 15 Lodge, big boy, to fight Jack Wilson, you see.

Yeah, it is an interesting. interesting way of speaking. It's sort of like a traveling salesman. It's kind of, yeah. It's like traveling salesman and like with a dash of mafia. Oh, absolutely. Because everybody is just, once it really gets into Mad Mad World Territory,

which it does, everyone's a stock character. You know what I mean? And you want to, you want to know exactly who everyone is. So everyone's as big and broad as possible, including this guy who offers him, you have 15,000 to fight and he gets 10 more or he gets 10,

10 down, 10 down, and 15 when he does the fight, no matter. win or losing, it's $25,000, which the math is like $100,000. The inflation on that. Oh, yeah. It's like 90.

There's a great thing here, this guy. This guy, by the way, you could beat this. Anyone wants to beat the shit out of me for $90,000. You give me the contract. Oh, I got to get fined an ATM. How about $200, Steve? Come, friend discount. No discount.

All right, like, we're not going to beat the shit yet. What can I get for like just a swift one-time-only kick to the stomach. You're already laying down so you want to have to fall over. How much? I think I have five bucks. I think I have five bucks. You know at least four digits, a thousand dollars. You give me a thousand bucks and kick me right at the stomach. Running start or stand still? Running starts 50 and hundred. Stand still thousand. That's the menu we're dealing with. Got it. Five bucks kind of like stub your toe. Anything? Is there anything if I want you to wear a costume?

No, now we're talking. A costume would be perfect. all right if you're going to kick him in the stomach while he's already on the ground dress as Batman that's a cool $6,000 I was thinking more a train conductor hat but like hey

you take with what I can get All Lives Matter pin on it Oh man So he The fucking The mafia dude meeting The ape is really funny

He gives a good Holy shit Well because he's like You gotta talk to my bandager Yeah or it was it like Oh give the money to my accountant this ape Now you watch your junk around him

He's liable to just pick it off He's a ball ripper He'll just take it You won't even know what happened You'll just go down And there's red dripping everywhere I mean seriously though man Like just imagine you're talking to some dude

You're trying to do a business deal And then he's like And my friend here And then there's a fucking loose orangutan And there's no fucking cattle prod Or track darts to be found Not even a fucking collar on this thing He's just out in the world, like you and me.

Back then, you could just do that. You could just have an ape and go on an adventure. I think in the first movie he went, it said he wanted in a fight or something. Yes. It's like the Millennian Falcon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, if he shows me his CPA license, I guess.

Yeah, sure. Then maybe I can do it. So he's sort of like, you know, he takes some money. He's like, yeah, all right, you got yourself a deal, blah, blah, blah. We go back to the honky ton because it's a night. Is this where the monkey, uh, the ape, excuse me, he's a chimpanzee. Arangetangetang.

I don't even have them. See, see folks, we don't know. The orangutan goes, he's like, oh, Clyde is missing. And he's back at the honky tonk. I thought he was going to spend that 10 grand on booze. Oh, yeah, totally a bulk order. Another order of fried plantains.

Ooh, all right. That's kind of a little tasty. We're not supposed to serve this here, Clyde. But so Eastwood, you know, makes his way to the bar and, you know, here he is. And it's, it is, I think we're doing a little bit of fucking Simeon matchmaker here. Yes. Because it's like, oh, I'm at the watering hole. Come get me.

Oh, now I'm sitting next to your ex-girlfriend. You know. She misses Clyde and she, she reveals to Clint Eastwood that she's only been at this honky ton because she knows it's the one he goes to. She wants to get back together with him. Now, there's a weird line here in this conversation, and I want to read the room, because I don't think I know definitively that this is what it is, but he goes, after she apologizes, he's like, oh, it's fine. You know, it turns out I have a tolerance for a certain specific kind of pain to which she reply, referring to like the heartbreak or whatever. To which she replies very bluntly like, yeah, I have one of those two. And I was like, is this like a reference to like he's getting handsy or something?

Oh, I don't think so. I just think it's like we're both like, you know, we're both old fucking working class, country, western folk. We're used to getting kicked down by the man. Yeah, that kind of thing. I don't think it's crash. I don't think we're going into that. Let's get into a car accident. Uh-oh.

My dad took a shit. You know, I actually could get you, Jane Mansfield's car. If they're looking for it. Oh, my God. Wait a second. mixing up crash. Yeah. For once we were talking about the Kronenberg. The good one. Yeah. Nobody takes a shit the Kronenberg crash

as far as I can tell. Later in the film, the Clyde does drag him from the burning car. Yeah. So presumably you get into some type of crash Kronenberg stuff. You bring the ape with you. You get into that car accident and if it's a little too, if it's not as horny as you want it to be and it's more deadly yeah. Apes there to drag you out.

Okay. So it's got like a safety name. Clyde. Clyde leave me alone. I got to have my head hit the windshield or others or I won't be able to get off. I can't believe he dragged me out. I didn't even yell my safe word. Yeah, but so he... Oh, so this is the end of the scene.

Like so many scenes in this movie just gets played out by a full musical number. This is Fats Domino. He's tinkering away to whiskey heaven. Like we no longer have good old-fashioned bare-knuckle boxing movies. We also don't have songs that just like are like, you know, drunk drive. It's pretty okay. Like these don't exist.

Fats Domino's singing like, thank God that he drove me home last night because I wasn't driving that car like shit like that. Thanks for getting behind the wheel, Jesus. You just black out, you wake up in your own bed, you see the car out the wind, you're like, whoa. That was definitely God's work. Definitely not the man below. That's the, yeah.

One footprint in the sand, Chris. He's carrying you. Literally carrying your drunk ass old. Every hungover step. So this is where he's like, I'll give you a fucking ride, I guess. To the YWCA. Absolutely. And this is, it's an interesting way that they do this here where like he pulls up. You don't, there's no establishing shot.

It's just the car. And he looks up and goes like something like, oh, nice place or something like that. And she's like, you got a problem with it. No, it's a roof or like whatever. And then you see that it's the white. MCA so that tells you like clearly she's embarrassed about this is like the living situation blah blah blah and like this is an amazing moment like in movies like this where it's like you're pushing two hours you could have just done this all in the scene it's one of those like he's like

all right have a good night at the YWCA and he drives off and then he's like ah never mind pulls around to go back to like get her out and I'm like you should have just stayed Well, because he originally thought he was like he was kind of getting cockblocked by Clyde here. Because like she was very much like, are you sure you don't want to come up? Yeah. I've kept him waiting enough. I can't keep him in here

with the windows down a little bit. He's liable to drive this fucking thing off. But I was so like, yeah, he's like, you know what, Clyde, you're going to watch tonight. So just prepare yourself mentally now. So he's not allowed. It's why WCA's no men are allowed. They call the cops. This is not the

first time Philo Beto has been called the cops on it at YWCA. It's the least loud version, which is good. Yeah, the fucking attendant. What the fuck are you talking about? The attendant calls the desk and it's just like, hello, police department. Yeah, code fileo.

Yeah, no, it's a Tuesday. I know it's weird. There's all these ladies. Oh, man. Oh, absolutely. This is fucking horny hall right here. Oh, God. Yeah, he hides like under her bed and the cops come and like, they open the door and she's like, oh, what, I was sleeping. It's like, oh, sorry, ma'am.

And then like outdoor, outside the door, there's some congregation of women gathered. And one's just like, oh, you guys just think we all just want you or whatever. And this one lady's like, I do. Speak for yourself. Starts making out with this cop with a mouthful of toothpaste. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Eat shit cop.

And he's grossed out. Like he was just kissed by the lady gremlin. He's just like, I got to get out of here. Well, I mean, you don't know what the fucking status of these people are. She's some fucking foot and mouth disease. Also, Lady Gremlin looking pretty Can get it. Robert Piccaro on the podcast.

Oh, yeah. Let's just say she could get it. Dude, I saw somebody somebody tweeted like something about the lady gremlin at Robert Picardo recently and he like responded like kind of with good humor like oh, she's looking fabulous.

There's something like that. I was like, yeah, you remember that your character was horny for a gremlin and gremlins to the new badge. Well, he started to resist, but then he gave in and said, hey, and that, oh, my God, his facial expressions in that scene are incredible. Absolutely phenomenal. This bathroom will be our boudoir. But he's like, hey, come home with me. We've got extra room in my crazy fucking creepy house.

So here's how he sets this up. He's like, we have an extra room at the house. And she's like, yeah, right. Well, she says, importantly, again, about the socioeconomic thing. I don't want any handout And he says It's not a handout That's what you get from the government

Handouts are what you get from the government A hand up is what you get from France Yeah yeah you're getting Fucking hand up your fucking underpants You want to go back to my place With my mom and my friend Orville Who lives there

And my orangutan Who is absolutely gonna watch us bone Oh yeah Orville last movie Jeffrey Lewis I love Jeffrey Lewis whenever I see him and stuff, including this where he's wearing a wig or whatever. Oh, dude, this rug. I think he's wearing two wings. It's somehow two wings, dude. First movie, he's betting Beverly DeAngelo and he's like a fully realized character. And this, he's nothing. Well, yeah, he's a cartoon character. There's a gag right around here where he's like listening to the radio for like pick up things. This is kind of fine. It's actually a pretty good as far as schemes go. Yeah. It's pretty good. And he has all the stickers for all. all the different tow trucks in their interest. He just slips, oh, that's 20 minutes away.

I can make it in five. Yes. Slapping on. And you just know he's getting into arguments because they're showing up midtoe. Oh, yeah. What do you want? Yeah, exactly. You're going to sue me into a, oh, you're going to sue me. Oh, okay. Oh, it's the 80s. So you can sue me now. Oh, oh, oh, my tow trucks are being impounded. I forgot suing was invented in 1978. This is my problem. Clyde, we need you to rip down the fucking walls of this impound lot.

Well, that's the thing. It's like, you, you, oh, yeah, I'm undercutting you and I stole your business. What? You got something to say? I got my orangutan friend. That's true. That's better than a gun. It's like a smart gun.

And I gave the orangutan a gun. Do you like having your face connected to all of your ears? Because my friend Clyde feels differently about it. It's very important. We don't forget because it is a running gag in this movie that pays off right here. When they make an escape out of the YWCA, like, Eastwood and this woman climb out the window and he peels out in his truck and the cops are like, there he goes. And they go to get in the car. And Clyde has taken his shit in this police car.

And this dude sits in. And man, that is your week is destroyed. It is also funny that like they escape the YMCA or whatever. And these cops are like, that's them. Get it. Like, who cares? They're not in there anymore. Yes. I mean, like, unless you want to question what you don't is, hey, are you leaving? of your own accord kind of lady's sure that's a reasonable We know Philo Beto That's not none of the LAPD's business

Whatever the man wants to do He'll let him do it He's outside of the WICA now Philo Beto's probably has got like That house is going to become a barbarian house It's pretty close Yep When he puts her to bed

He's like all right Here's your extra guest room I'm putting you in the shotgun room There did you notice that like next to her bed is a fucking wall unit with four shotguns in it. Do you know why, dude? Because he's giving her his bedroom.

That's what's insane about this. It's like you can come to my house. He says like at the YWCA we have an extra bedroom. What he means is you can sleep in my room where there's multiple gun racks filled to the brim with fucking pump action shotguns. And I'm going to go sleep out in the shed

in a sleeping bag with my ape next to me. That is the arrangement that he's putting down. With hay. The dirt floor with some hay. Some hay. And that's what I mean by it's not exactly accurate to say you have an extra bedroom at the house. You have a house with as many bedrooms as you have. And then in the back, there's a shed with a sleeping bed. He's not fussy, Andrew. So that's to tell you, like, he's a real man. He's not fussy. He will go sleep with his ape outside. Even though he, you know, he usually likes like a white noise machine. He likes having to bolt action

rifle right next to his art. Just right there and feeling it there. A sleeping apes kind of a white noise machine. It's just a constant like breathing and fart. Oh, totally. Yeah. And it's, and there's constant fear of it waking up and just beating the absolute shit out of you. Absolutely.

Right to death, maybe. Oh, I'm going to eat that like candy. Oh, no. Clyde had a nightmare. Now I'm Mason Verger again. Exactly. Oh, well, you're going to miss the toe. Now, Clyde, it's okay. Just help me find my rib cage. Just to point me where you threw it.

But Chris, you keep saying that the ape watched, sure. Because, like, he goes to sleep. He's like, all right, Clyde, let's get to bed. Yep. And I think in the first movie, there's a funny gag, which is parody to the critic, which is like, oh, somebody's next to me, must be a beautiful woman.

And he starts to make, that's a critic joke. Right. But, like, so we're replay, because again, this is like such a capital S sequel like so many gags are being replayed here it's he's sleeping the monkey puts its arm around him it's like oh LOL but he likes it

so it's like fine whatever Sandra Locke is like room for one more dude the monkey's arm is still there yeah she goes in and we cut I don't know what happens wait no no no excuse me it has excuse me monkey load

here's the thing first of all ape orangutan loads loads loads What is buzzing in? What is the orangutank? One, you figure, in this kind of scenario, it's like, like, she's horny. So it's like, oh, gee, Philo, it's really cold in your bedroom. It's just me and all those soulless shotguns. Come make love to me.

Sure. Not next to the orangutanang. How about that, right? There's that. But what happens, you know, like you said, Steve, room for one more. she folds into this sleeping bag he fucking leans over to this ape and goes no looking now

oh does he say that no looking now and then he tucks himself he rolls over to start banging this or maybe we're just getting some like digital manipulation or what you know who knows old Hollywood rules if it's a if it's a hard cut with a couple going to bed

they fuck in front of this fucking ape and I thought it would be the weirdest seen in the movie. But boy was I wrong. That is yet to come in this fucking... Clyde. Stop eating my ass while I'm pumping into

wait a minute. No stop. You should stop. That should be that should just be for me and you time. That shouldn't be an all three thing. So they have like a, there's a weird see and this is why this

doesn't make any sense. He does the whole like no look at now. And then the next morning when they've clearly already fucked he's like hey get out of here ape and this is where it's like the chimp hall of fame montage where it's just like Clyde working in the backyard doing shit

which I mean again thank you that's what I bought a fucking ticket for but that's also you cue this montage before the fucking yeah it's a good point so the audience isn't like yeah he was inside of that woman when the fucking ape was right there farting right oh yeah and I don't think

Clyde's a mistress maker I don't think he took his suggestion. I think he looked. I'm going to be, I'm going to be honest with you. I think he's looking. I mean, at that point, like, literally on the menu of things that could have happened in that scene, the ape looking is on the low end. I'm hoping

that's the least of your problems. Zoo, ape looked at you? Yeah. It definitely beat off, is what you're saying. At very least. Look, I just like holding his hand while I do it. It's a confidence thing. I just like to know he's there.

Well, that actually sounds kind of nice. Look, all I got here Oh, yeah. All I got here is a sleeping bag In a minimal pile of hay. There's no headboard for support. So that's where Clyde comes in. He puts his arm up.

I grab onto it. Oh, God. For support, you see. So this is where he clints out jogging in them slacks. And then here comes this fella. Out of nowhere, big buff dude, mustache. just goes, mind if I jog with you? To which Eastwood replies a hearty,

hell no. Well, and I thought this was about to turn into a different movie all the other. Yeah, I thought they were going to find an underpass to fuck. Yep, or at least jerk each other off. I don't have a lot of time, but, you know. I'm sorry, I can't, we can't run together.

You're not wearing jeans. You're wearing sweatpants. I don't know why anybody would do that while you're running. You're not getting the crotch, you know. And it's like this weird thing where they're running together He's like, well, aren't you a big burly guy? And he's like, well, I work behind a desk. He's like, you lifted that desk, big man?

Like, I'm like, where is this going? Exactly. Like, one of them says, like, you work out, it seems. Yes. And then in a move that would totally seal the deal, one would think. They're jogging along, you know, it's another construction site jog area here. This dude falls through the ground, like off the side of this cliff or whatever. And Eastwood helps him.

like, well, at least I could do for a fella is jerk him off under that overpass. It's just the way that this has played is so weird. It doesn't play like I think they thought it played. Or maybe it just played differently in 1980. Because it was supposed to play as like, these are two, two burly dudes

that respect each other, respect each other's burliness and like, wow, you're a built man. I'm a built man. Let's be built men together. But in a mutual respect kind of. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, two regular heterosexual men who are jogging together and still support Eisenhower.

You spot this William Smith actor here. He's been in everything you could think of. He was a Russian in Red Dawn. Oh, wow. He was a Russian in Bulletproof with Gary Busey. He's played to have these across like every fucking movie. Wow. Really quite a career.

Conan's father and Conan the Barbarian. Just tons and tons of stuff. He's an enormous dude. He also Jack Wilson, the character and William Smith is the actor. That's right. he looks like he slept through a house fire a little bit like you just kind of like you know just the house fire was happening

and he's like whatever he hit the snooze on that house yeah he rolled right over the bare knuckle boxing works for him because it does he does looks right actually it's worse when he like tries to wear a suit because you're like that doesn't look right on you

that's not correct but don't you think with him in that suit dude he could be a goon in um oh lord now uh oh he looks like the dude the mayor from final fight remember that video game where like there's three dudes like two small uh karate guys and one dude is the big hulking mayor i don't remember oh you get to fight a mayor

no you get to be the mayor oh my god i get elected to bruise you're mr mayor uh-huh samurai cop oh yeah that guy in a suit he's a scuzz ball at that restaurant and samurai cop i mean he could walk into samurai cop no problem this guy nobody would blink this probably got a christmas card from Robert Zadar every year. Oh yeah. They're buddies. Absolutely. From Clint too, I bet. I mean, that's the thing is you would assume that like, like, because it's always talked in hush tones. Like, oh, Wilson. Wilson. And he shows up and like, who's that guy? Yeah. Is this just his buddy that he's, he's jogging with? And it's like, I was expecting some like big, like, and I guess that's supposed to be part of the joke or

part of the naturalness of it, I guess. Exactly. It's just, these are just dudes that eat steak at every meal. I kind of wanted, like, the, who's the, the asshole and, like, Rocky Fatt, the, the young guy. He's training. Oh, Tommy the gun, like, I was expecting something like that. But he's, but, like, he doesn't introduce himself at all. He's just like, hey, thanks. I owe you one buddy. And he goes, and one could be in anything.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, you won. And he runs away, but you don't know. One shot in the mouth. And we get this, this quick scene. Because we got to get back to the honky talk, man. The bar has been away from the honky tongue for too long as far as I'm concerned.

there's a quick scene where Jeffrey Lewis is like I don't want you fighting this guy I did some sort of cursory research and it ain't no good and he's like I'll do as I please he goes back to the honky tonk because I guess he owes Jack Wilson the beer is the idea

I think he's just there and Jack Wilson happens to be I gotta stare at that lady I'm starting to date again but it is this like what you realize after a fashion is he knows who Philo Beto is Philo better knows that this is Jack

Wilson because Clint Eastwood is in this bar for 15 seconds and you better believe he's getting into a bar fight some drunk guy like makes fun of his lady friend's singing voice like now got some real singing up here Oh yeah you just signed your death It's actually Jack that escalates it

Oh does he? He has to step in yeah He's like oh that's not nice to say to a lady Oh right right right and he's just like Leave it alone Oh you didn't now I have to fight everyone in the bar. And we have to say because Jack Wilson little different than Clinties. Different style. He's doing some

karate kicks. We are getting some kicks here, which is weird because you think that that would come into play at the end of this guy don't fight like me. Yeah. Exactly. No. Now. And then it's like, oh, you know, blah, blah, blah. He introduced a guy. I am Jack Wilson. I am the guy you're going to be fighting. And he's obviously, I've been scouting you.

And it's interesting the way they do it because after the bar fight, Clint says to him like, did you get what you came here for? Like, I know you've been sizing me. up, blah, blah, blah. Well, I've been slowly poisoning you so I did get what I wanted. Just, it's

in the bag now. He tells him not to fight. I don't want to fight you. You don't want to fight me. It's going to be bad for you. And he's well, I guess we'll find out. But then finally, Sandra Locke comes up to it as like, you shouldn't fight Jack Wilson. Apparently, he's maimed five people, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. And he's finally, I guess

if everyone's against it, hey, mafia guy, good thing you're back in my front yard again. Here's your money back. Listen, I got to beat him. Otherwise, I got to keep on working for the marquee. The mafia guy doesn't want to take it back. Okay, I'm going to hold it for you, but the fight's still on.

Yes. And then, of course, Eastwood has to be an asshole and escalate this by Clyde scrap the caddy. Well, because the guy on the way out kind of escalates it with like, oh, yeah, well, if you don't show up, there's guys coming back here that look just like me, blah, blah, blah. he's like, let me guess they're also going to be driving a Cadillac. So he makes this threat about the mafia coming back. Listen, I mean, this is a pro-Mafia show. Every time.

It has been since the start. Sure. You know, these are just men trying to, you know, be symbols for the community, standing up for their, you know. You know, it's kind of, it's putting me in an awkward place. Mafia versus bare knuckle boxers. It's two groups I support. But the point is, Chris, you do not as a man.

sure as in anything sure get it agree to something uh-huh and then fucking back out of it especially when money's on the you've accepted 10,000 dollars from the mafia. You are due. You need to honor that commitment. What if your best buddies with the guy you're going to beat up though, Eric? You just didn't know it. My friends all the time. That's true. We're not talking about all the marketing costs. The mafia has incurred already. That's like, but just the thing is like, it seems like what they're preparing for is a random event that will happen at some random place at some random time in the next month, then we are going to somehow, again, and we'll get into this when we get to end, but like, going to get everybody there in like a minute.

But the point is, someone gives you $10,000. Sure. You say, yes, sir. Hey, he did. I mean. I thought what we were going to have here was like, because they make such a big deal out of like, Clyde has to hide the money from Ma because Ma's got fast fingers and blah blah blah. I thought it was going to be a thing where he tries to give the money back

and then it's like, uh-oh, Ma spent it all at the dog track or whatever. And then it's like you have to do it. No, no, he gives him the money back. He gives him the money back and it's like you better fucking be there. I think it's a thing where it's like you've got to call the date and the location closer

to the actual day. It's going to happen. You can't announce it like an actual like sanction boxing match. because the cops or you know the cops that don't have money on the fight might come in and break it up you need like this is their I mean like these people

if they are putting in bets on bare knuckle box I'm talking about the Jimmy and the New York guys like if they know that's happening you've got to put somebody right next to Clyde and Philo all the time ready to give you a phone call when the fight is going

and just to make sure he's not fucking up anything but of course they don't think that far ahead. So this is when the movie gets incredibly horny. And it comes out of nowhere. It really does. A real left field hornedoggery. Because you have the one sex scene or implied sex. You're like, whoa, that's wild.

But like earlier in the movie Clyde looks at a poster of some zoo orangutan that he wants to fuck. And Eastwood is like, well, we got to get my buddy later. I think this kind of ties into the first movie as well where he goes to the zoo. But in the first movie, he just goes in the zoo and fucks.

Yeah. This one's like, she He's coming with us. Which, like, why do they need a bedroom? Why do they need a banana with drugs in it to knock out this? Because he's like, here, he clearly gives him this banana with like syringes it. It's like, this'll soften her up, buddy boy. Could you do this for me, buddy? I'm not actually going to put the drug in the banana.

I'm going to leave it to you. Well, no, here's what it is. That's the backup, dude. The banana has been dosed. Oh, I see. Because what happens is he's like, all right, Clyde, I guess this is what the screenwriters wanted to do. So this banana's doped and you just got to throw it in the cage and give it to her.

If that doesn't work, here's the syringe with the backup and you just poke her and push down. And he explains all this. And then Clyde goes, got it and injects himself with it and passes out. It is insane. No, this should be the monkey takes the syringe. she falls through the carpet Lou Reed's perfect day starts playing Open your eyes

How much did you take? How much? Open your eyes. Philo is such a piece of shit. He knows he was in N.A. Just to throw this shit at him like that. But they go to this motel And, you know, there's a horny motel

First of two horny motel managers, which I think it's too many. Who's like, oh, you know, and like Eastwood and Sandra Locke get a room and then Clyde and this other the orangutan get a room and also wouldn't you know it in the room over from there is Anne Ramsey and her

husband. Yes. Loretta and Luther. Yes. And it is just the weirdest most unsettling sequence of events. Like, oh, you know, Lynn is like, what's all what's all that noise? And he's like, oh,

it's just Clyde putting on a show because they're getting down. And she's like, oh, those apes are going to get down in there, eh? Well, speaking of getting down. Why don't you show off for me, Big Daddy? And like, it just cuts to Eastwood swinging from the chandelier in this

motel room. Nothing gets me turned on more than the sounds of apes. Just screaming and moving. Having two apes have their own hotel room where they're just obviously trashing it. And they're just going to fucking piss

and shit come all over this place. You need to burn this hotel room to the ground. Absolutely. I mean, the whole motel on it. do just take the whole place out meanwhile there's this sequence i mean somebody thought this is amazing where um it's we're parodying the movie 10 with bow derrick where oh and like we're doing special effects where the the ape's head is on boat on a bow derrick esk body on the beach and the clyde is getting horny about it no this is with people does it happen with the apes too am i wrong with it The Bo Derek, okay, so here's how I remember the Bo Derek thing.

At the same time that this is all going on, Ruth Gordon is like, I have to get to my boys in the motel. And she steals the tow truck. And Ruth Gordon, so Ruth Gordon also gets, she descends on this motel where the cops are also on their way and she sees the fucking motel manager peeping in a window at either the apes or the Ramsey's fucking or Eastwood and Lynn, whatever fucking.

And she chastised, like, oh, you're such a little, a dirty old man there. You know, they're trying to make some love you. You're just such a grossy, gross, gross man. And he turns in, and this guy looks at her. Yes. And he sees Bo Derek in 10. And then it turns into Ruth Gordon's face on Bo Derek's face, jogging. And this dude's horny.

And then she's fucking horny. So now this three-way free-for-all became a four-way fuck fest. And I thought that this was just a bare-knuckle. boxing movie with a chip in it. She had caught him watching folks make the humpety-bumpity and kicks him in the nuts and then she's like oh, oh, it's a live

one. I'll be in the motel office if you want to fuck. But we skipped ahead briefly. There was another encounter with the Nazi biker gang. I mean, the less said about them the better. This is when he tricks them into riding

their bikes into tar. They're laying tar on the freeway. Oh, sure. Shower. And it's like, oh, I'm hardening and they're freezing this is very weird. Like they pull through, I've never seen a road paved like this where like, it's

a device shaped like a car wash. Yes, exactly. And it's just dribbling hot tar on the road. You want it a little lower, I would say. Yeah, yeah. Like something like a seven foot drop for hot tar while you're paved in a road seems movie magic. Oh yeah. Yeah. Look, I want

them covered in tar. I don't care how. He takes him in the hospital and it's like, oh, can you remove that stuff? Yeah, we'll just peel them like a banana. Oh, so that hurts, huh? Yeah. Oh, good. Wait a second.

Oh, maybe I'll do that for myself. I do love pain. Can you dip my dick and balls and tar? Do you got any loose tar back there that I could buy off you? Wait, let me drive a motorcycle under that their car wash a tar. seemed stupid until I Oh yeah After that he goes to

Bakersfield and then they The mafia descends as well That's what says Ruth Gordon And that's where the zoo is Where we're getting our lives Everywhere they visit Just has a zoo that they can take A sexy orangutan Eric

And then Jeffrey Lewis here Also has to get in on it Because he knows the cops are on the way To the motel So he makes some crass remark And gets the cops to like Race him to the motel I took a Spider-Man one.

Your girlfriend would like that. Yes. Yeah, yeah. And then, you know, about it. So it's like Beto can hear that, you know, there's a cop shit of foot. It also spooks away the mafia.

I mean, is this, I mean, like they have, they should the cops have philo on ape sex trafficking for sure. Oh yeah. I don't know if this is across state line or like,

you know, city lines or county lines. He must be known by all zoo managers. Yes. That they're just this rash. At the end. Abductions. At the end of the movie, the bad cop is like, I'm going to write you up and write up that ape

because you don't have papers for her. Like, fucking finally, someone has the ape's welfare at hand. To which Eastwood, I think, responds to that guy like, Clyde doesn't have an owner. He's a free person. And I was like, no, it's an animal. Well, I mean, that word that now we're just talking about the end credits because they beat that cop just half to death and they let them die in the desert as the end credits roll up. I will be goddamned if you stop me from feeding this orangut.

attain bacon and beer. I will die before I stop doing that. Yes, every day the ape has violent diarrhea. One of it. There's always a cop car. There's always somewhere for it to go. But yeah, so the cops break up. The

mafia's about to get them, but then the cops come and sort of scare them off. Orville gets arrested because he disrespected the cop or whatever. They bail him out. I love when he's going to get arrested. What station? Fourth Street Station? Fourth Street Station. yeah totally let me know where you're going to be yeah go pose that bail

they bail him out and this is when the mafia gets them again yeah Lynn gets kidnapped here this they set the truck on fire this is where Clyde saves him from the burning wreckage or whatever and my question is just like it's in the zoo parking lot they're returning the used aid this goes into my question does no one work at the Baker's Field? I know no what are we And here's the thing too, right? You always hear about like, oh, man, you know, it's so hard to get, you know, animals to reproduce in captivity.

I would imagine. Like, wouldn't there be some program where it's like, yeah, bring your chimp in or bring your orangutangang in and, you know, get fucking. See, you know, all on the up and up. None of the stealing and drugging animals. Yeah, it'd be nice if you wouldn't drug the animal. Yeah. Sign up here for our mating classes. But so, like, the mafia calls.

up and they're like hey we got your lady he demands proof of life you know and then it's like all right like I will fight to get her back we're in Jackson Hill Wyoming and this is when the movie really becomes Mad Mad World because

we're introduced to these gang all these groups of gamblers one of which is the colonel from war games yes and Julie Brown in her first appearance by the way Julie Brown really she's one of like the gambling babes yes because it is

just like you don't know anything about these people other than they are on like a rich fucking months long drug and booze-filled orgy of some kind you know you kind of want that movie you do what are all these rich people doing with these babes

this guy has one of the people he's hanging out with has the job I most want which is a bare knuckle boxing expert a guy who just has it at his command the facts of the bare knuckle boxing world up to date.

Like he just, he has, he has his connections. He's probably making like 17 phone calls from a pay phone in the morning, just checking up on bare knuckle boxing prospects. Well, I think is it we're supposed to believe, I mean, these are like hardcore gamblers. Because the mafia guy calls up and he's like, hey, just wanted to let you know, Jackson Hole, Wyoming, big fucking bare knuckle boxing fight going down. I know how much you love gambling, get in on it. It would be so great if we could go back.

If rich people would go back to put in their money. into this rather than buying the Supreme Court. That would be so fucking phenomenal. Yep. That would be so good. This is Barry Corbyn, also of, what do you call it there? No Country for Old Men fame, et cetera. My guy. Yellowstone now is an old man.

Yes, he's been around forever. He's always a pleasure when he pops up in a movie. Grand Pappy Yellowstone. Oh, is that right? I think so. So is he like who Harrison Ford was playing, dude? No, I don't think. I don't know how that Cowboys show works.

I think he played, I think Harrison Ford was in like the 1980s. He's playing a character named Fat Zach, by the way. And when Fat Zach flies in from Dallas or Kansas City or wherever, he's got this private plane and he's flying it upside down. They're flying it upside down. They're having a laugh. There's a real wild line here where they're doing that. It's like, ha, ha, ha, we're flying the plane upside down.

We've been doing so for a long time, it seems. and the ladies like, we got to write the plane. I want to have some of the champagne. And then like some Monopoly guy looking motherfuckers like, oh yeah, well you can drink upside down. Watch. And he does it. And she's like, oh, that's great. And he goes, oh, yeah, there's a lot of

stuff you can do upside down. And the whole plane starts laughing. We're going to fuck upside down. So you want to fuck me now? Come on. Let's out fuck. We even get like guys at the airport. I think Art LaFloor plays one. Art of the bag.

definitely this video. Being like, what the hell is with that plane? And then we cut into the plane and we get our shenanigans. And the whole town is a buzz with this fight. There's old ladies sizing up Philo. By the way, Philo and Clyde and Orville check into another motel. Here's your second horny hotel motel manager. Who winds up flash.

Because Clyde is dressed up like a lady and he's like, ooh, I like that lady. And he flashes her or him rather. And then Clyde flashes him back. And the dude is like, oh, no, wires are getting crossed. This is weird, but not as weird as it should be. When they're initially checking again, he sees the ape in the, in, in Ruth Gordon's clothes. Yes. And it's like, oh, you blood relation.

Yeah, it's like my mother or whatever. You should think twice about having children. But then he's super horny for. Yeah. Presumably the hairy mother. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. He's ready to go to that.

That's when he flashed. See, I'm really into procreation sciences. and I make sure that we have the best offstring possible for the future of our civilization. You should not fuck anybody. Philo goes for another jog here. And then Jack Wilson is like, oh, hey man, how's it going? And he's like, yeah, you work for some weird people.

And he's like, I had nothing to do with it, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. But they team up. They team up because when he's like, look, man, you know, I'm a bare knuckle boxer. I travel all over the country, bare knuckle boxing and whatnot. but I draw the line of kidnapping ladies Like he's like

I'm not down with what they have done here So yes we will team up and Yes And get these dudes whatever now the old ladies here I had a question about the old ladies This is 1979 The actresses seem like they're Just the slightest bit kind of aged up

Like playing a little bit fuddy-duddy kind of Right Did these ladies not remind you just the little as bit Of the two little old ladies And Dunstan checks in that are also boozy and weird Oh sure I wonder It's a grand tradition of oranguts I mean, I wondered if it was some kind of reference, not necessarily that the same people, maybe they are, but I thought a bit like, it's like the old guys in, oh, Lord Almighty, of course, trading places who show up in other motion pictures and shit.

I wondered if it was kind of maybe a cinematic universe. That grand tradition of movie comedy weirdness. The thing is like having an ape in a movie is just so like, whoa, what? And then comparing that with like dusty old people. that's like the people who would be most offended by yet they don't even really get into any encounters with the ape which is unfortunate I would love to see Clyde maybe strip these women

like the car rip her arm off take out her spine like you're fucking doing a fatality they're not crash test dummies these people will be when we're done one of them well that's like the thing with something like you don't you can't have an outright dowager

coming to the bare-knuckle boxing fight. So you have to have this version of the old lady like, I put it on, although it would be funny if just like a palinquin comes in some ladies watching the fight from... Absolutely. Everybody in the world loves bare-knuckle box. I'd be up for that.

But that's the thing is this is when the movie kind of just takes a turn and Clyde is barely involved. It's kind of gets a bit dull in this portion. It does. It just, you know, they save you know, Lynn from these mobsters.

you know, like everybody gets beaten up and Jack Wilson's like, you better get going to this. You go to the drive to the coast until you see the water. It's like, all right, but they're not going to do that. Yeah, they got a movie to make here. I mean, we have to mention them

because they are omnipresent throughout the film. We've barely discussed them, but the Black Widows are also in Jackson Hole. But they get wrapped up. Dude, the allure of gambling such as it is, they forget all about their hatred of Philo long enough to be like we can actually

make some money off this guy. Rippling gambling edition outranks like the white supremacy and grudgery. Exactly. And the guy, I think the leader is like, oh, I actually bet on Philo to win this thing. But they are in bald caps now.

These bald caps look awful. They do. They're wearing fake wigs on top of it. At one point, a Wyoming State Trooper pulls them over. And it's just like, give you a ticket. Oh, you got enough problems. Well, the only law you're breaking is the laws of nature And we ain't around to enforce those tea hat

A wig on a man I just can't What are we in Parliament of England I mean we are wearing clown wigs guys It's not just a Jeffrey Lewis rug It's the funniest thing I've ever seen A wig on a man You're a fucking Wyoming state trooper dude

Your life is about as boring as it gets. You're telling me there's guys who do this for a clown, you say? I've never heard of such a thing. A clown? One of the oldest entertainment forms in the world, you're saying, eh? They must be great because this is the funniest fucking thing. And these scenes with the mafia talking about the money and the gambling and laying on the bets and laying off the bets, it's 20 minutes. It's spread it between the movie. We keep cutting back and the money gets higher and the mafia gets these two dudes get more and more in deep and then finally after the kidnapping scheme jack and philo call off the fight right oh no what are we going to do

and then somebody realizes 20 minutes left so they fight in a barn because of respect this is a weird thing where it's like the whole thing is off and it's like you know it's whatever point such as it is where everybody can get their money back yeah from you know placing the bets on the fight and then they're just in this barn and he's like well we saved the day didn't we yes we did but uh you know i mean you still want to know right yeah i still want to know and it's just like we're gonna fight for each other in this barn keep it on the down low yes kind of like we're fucking jerking each other off under an overpass here like you want to just find out well the studio well the studio said we have to have a winner The audiences will rebel if it's two guys who just have a handshake.

Because I think they were anticipating degenerate gambling in the audience at the theater. We're going to be gambling to see if Clint beats this guy. And this is the very long street fight. It has its ups and it's up and 30 minutes before people's money would be refunded and somehow people start just, I guess, telephone game. Yeah, like, oh, they're fighting, they're fighting. Oh, get on the phone to fat as Zach or whatever. Fat Zach, taxiing the.

The plane pulls it over to go back and watch. Into the street. This is sort of also a bad bad world thing where everyone's rushing back to see this. And yes, now the street fight sequence commences across all of downtown Jacksonville. It's not, it's nuns, it's police officers, the Iron Giant. Everybody's coming to see the big file of fight. Alex and his droogs are all there. Jack Nichols.

Tony Soprano and the boys, they're going to, they're putting money down. See, it takes place in space jam Yeah, Charles Foster Kane was in attendance. Totally. He bets his newspaper on it. And the fight's fun. I mean, it's just a lot. Again, no one's blocking. It's just, I'm going to punch you in the face and you punch me in the face.

How does that sound? Yeah, I mean, because I think, dude, the true block in bare knuckle boxing is a dodge. Got it. Because like, a block in boxing, you got them gloves and you hope that his fists hit the gloves. Yeah, sure. what your fist getting you know his fist into your wrist that's still fucking you up yeah you know like but i don't think there is blocking no philo just he eats it like candy like homer simpson as a boxer just getting punched and punched and punched well i don't know wilson i i bought some new

super tight jeans to jogging before we start the fight i'm bleeding already buddy i'm it's all red down there good on him dude i'll scare you. That's right. It's strategy. You want to start fighting me? I got no nuts left. I'm rubbed raw as it is. Let's go already. I have nothing to lose as it's like nuts. This fight gets wild though

because like, I don't know, at one point, we're breaking into a restaurant. Like they crash into a restaurant and like the crowd of people following them follows them into the rest. This is just a disaster. This town is destroyed. They keep stopping. Like, wow, this is some fight.

Yes, it is. Want to keep going? Absolutely. Dude, the halftime show for bare-knuckle boxing is what you want. Because it's just these two fellas, these warriors in their prime, sitting back against a fucking like warehouse loading dock.

Just out of nowhere, someone's got beers ready to go. Eastwood's chugging this beer. Hey, it's a party. It doesn't have to make sense. That's exactly what it is. I didn't know where he's just got this tall boy. It's great. Oh, man, I love it.

As you mentioned earlier, yes, the black widows had bet on Philo and there was a mafia. I was going to try to assassinate him to end the fight. And the Nazis defeat the Italians. That's backwards, man. I mean, like, in terms of who I as an audience member should be rooting for. Always root for the mafia over. Oh, my God. Of course, of course. I root for mafia over the Catholic Church at this point. I root for the mafia over anything. I forget, where are the cowboys in this? Because I know they're also cowboys there. I know the nuns are fighting as well.

Yeah, I think they're just kind of spread out. That's okay. The cowboys aren't a big enough group to get their own subplot. Here's the thing. It's like, I guess because it's bare knuckle boxing rules, assassinations are okay. Like mid-fight assassinations. We're just going to shoot him in the back. It's not even elegant. If you shoot him in the back, like, I don't know, then you lose your bet. Anyway, you've interfered. You know what?

It can't be called on account of assassination. Bring back that drug that knocks out apes or something. Maybe there's another syringe and the mafia finds it in their stuff. They use this to fuck with ape. Sick, dude. And just knock them out. Somewhere, somebody should have got stuck in the butt with one of them. Absolutely.

That sounds like Orville. Orville should get one of those right in the fuck. And then you could do like a eye. crossed. Just because it doesn't matter. Orville got shot in the kidnapping scene. He's just like, now I get to bed pretty nurses with my enormous wig on. Now I get to not be in the movie. Exactly. Honestly, very disappointing lack of Jeffrey Lewis. For sure. And then like in sort of the climax of this, Jack Wilson kind of awesomely breaks Clint Eastwood's arm. Like he's the only time he does a kick because Clint East was like leading on something. And Jack Wilson just fucking

snaps his arm. It's nasty, man. This is, I feel like, you know, even though we're fucking bare-knuckle boxing, that's against the rules. And, you know, so Wilson's like, it's over. It's broken. It's over. And it's like, yeah, but Jack Wilson, you forgot one thing, motherfucker. You're fighting movie star Clint Eastwood. So it's one-arm boxing time.

And he defeats this dude with one hand because literally the other one is fucking broken. Unbelievable. But this is like a series of Johnny Cage-esque uppercuts Eastwood is doing to this guy repeatedly back to back. And he wins and they're like, we're still best buds right, like you know it. I would be like

why'd you fucking break my arm dude? Like I respected you a lot more before that. There were plenty of, I'm just saying, look I'm just saying Jack, there were plenty of opportunities for me to stomp on your wrist and I didn't do it. And you know it's illegal.

Set fire to me all you want. You can't break my arm in the middle of a bernacle boxing. Fuck, who's going to pay for my physical therapy? This is going to take a while to recover from. God, I'm going to be on the phone with United for fucking five hours. Oh, like, he has insurance.

And honestly, this is a movie that needs to end with, like, they're shaking hands. Period. I think it might still be going. In some universes, this movie is still playing from 1980. But, like, when your fight is over with, and the two combatants shake hands and the crowd is cheering

and the chimp comes back in with Jeffrey Lewis like there it is you've assembled the whole cast that's the end of the movie and instead it's like we see him saying goodbye to the Nazis bye bye best friends oh thanks for the $40 you owed me oh really Himmler owned this

I'll take this home I'm running for mayor soon so thanks for the support totally but Orville is like oh I'm staying in Jackson Hall there's a bunch of pussy I haven't harassed. Yeah. So, like, he's hanging back there or whatever. And then, like, they're just getting back on the road.

And it's like, then they get fucking pulled over by one of the cops from the first fight. And you're just like, man, I was there. Presumably, I guess they're in Death Valley now because this guy was supposed to be reassigned there for losing the money on the bet for Philo at the start. And with that $10,000 that he got from this bet, he could not fix the turn signal on his fucking car. So he's had this ape do the whole time. Right signal Clyde. So of course, and this has been the bit the whole time. Yep. The cop is up against Clyde. Right signal Clyde. Knocks him out. Yeah. That Clyde is going to be hunt down by the LAPD. That is a cop killer. Or the Wyoming PD. Sorry. You punch a man straight in the face with the force of an ape. Forget it. You're done,

dude. The nose is going right into the brain. It's over. Yes. I think that's why, because this is before like dash cams and whatnot. It's like, all right, Clyde, now you got to finish the job. I'm not pulling over again. You got to kill this guy, you know? And it's like heart rip, Clyde. Yep, totally, dude. Heart rip, Clyde.

Eat the body, Clyde. And, you know, the only person we don't check back in on with Ruth is Ruth Gordon. I think she's still just come drunk at that motel. Mom, you're dead? Mom, are you? Okay, I think she's dead. All right, good. one less character for the third of these if we make them. I will say I have been to this

cowboy bar they're at at the end. What really? In Jackson Hole, Wyoming. I was at a wedding there and they took us out there. It is just as awesome as it looks. Glenn Campbell was not playing the night we were there, sadly to say. But it's a real nice. It's the million dollar cowboy bar. It's it's a real fun time if you ever go there. I like that. Yeah, just fucking onward, Clyde. Here we go. onto the next adventure that didn't happen.

Sadly not, even though this was a box office fucking sensation. At top of the box office, the weekend it came out, $8 million in back then money. Right, 1980 money. They say I'm torturing you. That ape shouldn't be in movies until it's the 90s and you're with kids. Listen, we beat one ape to death, but we got the other one. We treated the other one okay on the press store. That's two movies, one dead ape.

Not too shed. Oh, man, but that is the end of this movie, and this was the end of the road for Philo and Clyde. Kind of stunning, and correct me if I'm wrong, this wasn't adapted into like a worst TV show. Yeah. Because we would do a lot of that. I mean, I think BJ and the bear was just sort of like,

it was doing it. It was doing it without doing it kind of thing, without paying the rights kind of a deal. Yeah, that's true. Was he a bear knuckle boxer on that show? That's a good question. I don't know. I hope.

I don't know, but William Smith did appear in two episodes. So. B.J. and the bear? Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah, apparently. I was looking at his IMDB. Oh, nice. But that is the end of this movie. Any which way you can, we'll do as some recommendations and final thoughts here. Eric Siska. Yes. Okay. So this movie is not that great. The first movie, I think, is actually a lot more fun. I would say it's sort of a light recommend, but what you should do, watch the first movie every which way but loose. put this on afterwards and fall asleep during there perfect yeah i would say i if you've seen

the first one and you haven't followed up on the next part of the adventure okay but i found this to be pretty boring and pretty it's a mad mad mad mad mad world and i don't know again just these kind of eight movies man there this movie took a life and i can't fucking abide by that yeah you know what i mean no i mean it's tragic yeah we joke around here but it is actually abhorne what happened. Totally. Chris Cabin. It's a light recommend for me, like, mostly because, like, you just, you don't get movies like this anymore. Like, the hangout vibe, I think is pretty impeccable. Uh, you can't really beat it. And, uh, but like, of course, I mean, there's a lot of things to consider,

of course, the ape death, orangutan death and all that stuff. But like, a bare knuckle boxing movie, like a, a comedy based on bare knuckle boxing with an ape. It's just such a nuts thing that I'm like, I can't, you kind of have to see it to believe it, but I will admit, the first one is much better. Yeah. Steve Saneck. Yeah, it's not a recommend for me because I do think the first one is much better and you can just watch that instead of this one. It's pretty much the same thing. But this has all this soggy stuff towards the end and not enough monkey antics to be quite honest. That's right.

That's what I'm here for. I want more monkey antics. It's a fun, but it's a light not recommend. It's not like a disaster. You could totally put this on. good hangover vibes here for sure oh sure you can smell the fucking coors light coming off the screen it's got like lo-fi like music a lot of it oh yeah which actually pretty good i mean good in that glen campbell did the theme song yeah i mean most of the songs on the soundtrack are pretty fucking righteous and i actually think that's like the best part of the movie is like we're at the honky tongue

listening and it's i think the movie at least kind of knows that a little bit because it holds on all of these performances. You get the full song. The characters leave the bar and Fats Domino keeps playing kind of thing. Sure. Yeah. But that is going to do it, folks. If you want more ape-related hijinks, head on over to patreon.com slash we hate movies. Too much ape-related hijinks.

We got an animation damnation on the Donkey Kong cartoon, which is absolutely abhorrent. Oh, real bad. We came as close as we could on the Gleap Glouclery to talk about an ape type person. Yes. Yeah. We already did Chewbacca and Lobaka. I thought those were kind of ape people. But we did Wicket

the EWalk on the Gleap Glouclery. A lot of fun. It's a live studio audience talk show. We record downtown these days. It's a lot of fun. So check that out. Talked about the little hairy man. Once in a lifetime we're talking about another hairy little man. A spy monkey who

helps, I guess like Emma Emma Roberts is barely in that fucking movie. Yeah. Yeah. In that eight movie, we were like, where's Emma Roberts? but yeah that's a weird she's a little kid scientist and he's the ape trying to save her. But hey, Richard Kind is a bond villain so watch spy mate

and listen to us talk about it on Patreon. That is true. And of course all of our non-Ape related side shows of course Melro 2 and the Nexus and of course the Mandalorian Half Hour. We've been recapping that entire season here and as of this coming out in just a few days we'll be recapping

the last episode if you can even believe that season's already over with. Ah, but speaking of almost already over with, April, such as it is, is coming to an end next week with one last apirific suggestion. Steve, what are we doing? Well, we're going into the future here. We've had far too many real apes. I'm so sick and tired of actually looking at light hitting things, Chris Cabin. I need to see CGI apes all as far as I can see in Dwayne the Rock Johnson's Rampage. Oh, yes. We are breaking that sort of quasi 10-year rule because

it's ape month, it's April, we're going ape shit, we're going bananas. So you break a rule when you do, apes break rules. I was actually nervous when we picked it. I was like, is there enough ape in that movie? And the answer is absolutely yes. Quite a lot.

Absolutely, man. And I'm very excited to talk about that movie next week. Kind of more excited than I thought I'd ever be about the rampage movie. But that's life, folks. So until next week, when we're talking video game adaptation rampage. I've been Andrew Jupp and Stephen Seda. Eric Cisco.

Chris Gavin. Take it easy. That was a hate gum podcast.