We Hate Movies - S13 Ep671: Rampage (2018)

Episode Date: April 25, 2023

On the final APE-ril offering, the gang is chatting about the better-than-they-expected Dwayne Johnson monster movie, Rampage! Why, for the love of all that is good, do all DJ characters have to be totally sexless, even in this movie where ladies are coming onto him left and right? Are these sexy corporate villains brother and sister, banging, or both? And how fantastic was that big wolf attack scene? More super-violent monster movies, please! PLUS: George W. Bush and Poppy play the OG Rampage game! Rampage stars Dwayne Johnson, Naomie Harris, Malin Ackerman, Jake Lacy, Joe Maganiello, Marley Shelton, P.J. Byrne, Jack Quaid, and Jeffrey Dean Morgan as Kentucky Fried Government Agent Harvey Russell; directed by Brad Peyton. You’ve got a precious couple days left to catch the replay of our KING KONG virtual live show, now through Thursday, 4/27! San Francisco, Los Angeles and New Brunswick, NJ—tickets on sale now for our upcoming spring and summer shows, we wanna see you IRL! Check out the WHM Merch Store featuring new DILF Den, Grab-Ass & Cancer, SW Crispy Critters, MINGO! & WHAT IF Donna? designs! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/whm and get on your way to being your best self.   Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

this week on the program. Well, April comes to an end with a chat about, well, I almost said one of the all-time greats, but absolutely not. It's Rampage 2018. I'm Andrew Jupin. Elbino Steve Sadek. Elbino, Eric Siska. Quite Chris Cabin. And we, Ape Movies. Hello, End of April brings us, well, doing something a little bit different with the programming here. 2018's Rampage, directed by Brad Peyton, who you may know. I don't know him.

Just another rock stooge. He's more or less a rock stooge because he directed this journey to the mysterious island. That's where, like, Brendan Fraser got booted from the franchise and Dwayne Johnson, you know, insert actor here. And then he also directed San Andreas. but he also directed his first feature Dogs and Cats Call in the Rise of Kitty Galois. And there is some secret

Aaron Eckhart movie called Incarnate, which is like something, something a psychic is trying to communicate with a demon inside a person. No, thank you. It's a real, it's real secret movie. You just got to imagine

Dwayne Johnson watching the Cats and Dogs sequel. And you're like, I see talent here. I see, I see vision. I see a person who will listen to everything I say. Yeah. Yeah. And so, yeah, of course, this is the video game adaptation of Rampage, which you may remember

from the arcade or it was on the NES console. Or ask your grandparents. You know, I'll tell you what, after watching this movie, which I did not hate, it's stupid and violent. It has its moment. So there were some moments in there for me. But I went and I was like all fucking geared up. I was like, yes, let's play Rampage. And I flipped on the Switch.

And first I went to the Switch store because I was like maybe. Yes, you can new, you know, redone version of Rampage. And I'll pay $7 for that. Went through nothing. I was like, oh, all right, fine. Well, they just got old Rampage there on the NES console. Fired up that bad boy, the online store there, the Nintendo Online. no rampage to be found

So I don't know if it's one of those things Like maybe you can find it ported over Under the fucking PlayStation console these days But as far as Nintendo's concerned They are not in the rampage business right now And the rampage game was sort of a Godzilla Versus King Kong riff Wherein a human beings by the way

Turn into big gorilla Big gorilla called George Big what reptile called Lizzie That's kind of a Lizard and there was a wolf called Ralph which I think might have only been in the arcade and like when you die in the game you die for real. When you die in the game

you shrink down to a little human person. I remember that you beat the ground you're like oh no I'm a little guy now but what's also great about that game and I do remember playing it with the wolf as well so maybe some arcade action for me eating them people out of them windies. Yes that's the best part

that is the best part of power people you know stepping on a tank yeah all that stuff is great I got to say I don't like I mean we'll talk about with all these video game movies you have to pour over certain things from the game into the thing with Last of Us

Of course you pour the whole fucking thing over Just let's just do this with cameras Direct copy. Just so beautifully written Of course. Yeah just don't change a shot Don't do anything Did you watch that whole season? My wife I've seen a lot of them I haven't seen the whole thing

But I've seen quite a lot of it I gave up after that Offerman episode dude I was like I'm glad Offerman had a nice time here but I just, it's not very good at all. Okay. But the thing with the thing with the stop a million. Listen, I don't want my fucking house burned down, okay? The Last of Us is the best TV show ever made and gamers are the only citizens that should be able to vote.

Burn down Eric's house. You can burn down my house. It's a pretty stupid show. Ralph, like the thing that they're like, Nick, we're calling him Ralph. Oh, dude. Like, no, you're not. You're calling him Superwolf X-29. They say weirdos on the internet.

have started calling him Ralph. Yeah, like we're just just such a, we have to say it because it's the video game, but like, hey, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, you want another two grand? Sure. Say this. Yep. Well, weirdos on the internet are calling this guy Ralph for some reason. Also, this is a way, I say, I say, dude, he's being called Ralph. Jeffrey Devereaux Morgan in this film. Hello there. This is a Kentucky fried FBI agent. Too much. It's a lot. I love it. He's actually the best part of this.

Really? Okay. Yeah. I mean, sure. Here's an odd thing, though. In the world of this movie, the rampage game exists. Which is so weird. Yep. And I think it's a thing where it's like, well, I guess it couldn't have been inspired by it because Malin Ackerman has no idea what could have possibly happen. But it could have been a thing where it's like, I was inspired by this rampage game to actually do the science that could make the rampage game possible. That's how much of a dedicated. fan Malin Ackerman's character Oh Jesus Christ, okay yeah There's just they're putting

Oh my God V's fly traps Coming out of the sewer Every time you jump over I don't know why you would do this Melan Ackerman Why would you do this It'll make us rich somehow

But it is It takes you right out of the movie When you go to Malin Ackermann's office You know it takes me right out of the movie Malin Ackerman Because she's been terrible Her whole career That's also

she is like, I don't know how they gave her an actual name. She has a character name in this. Sure. It is just pure evil. Like, what is the most base evil thing you can do or say in this moment? Just say that we're good. But she's a corporate stooge, which is evil. So it takes her, it takes you out of the movie because she's got the rampage console in her office.

I miss this actually. And it's like if there was a scene in the Mortal Kombat movie where Raiden isn't in his apartment. Oh, wait, I'm playing this game. Mortal Kombat. Hey, that's a lot similar to what we do outside. Back, back, back, left, right, up, down, B, A, B. Oh, look, I did the fatality. Oh, I like this new style you've done here.

Less clothing. I think that's good. What the fuck is sweeping distance? I hate this shit. I'm trying to do this fatality for fucking hours. So I should be prepared for Syrex. There should be Androids in my future. Yeah, it's just kind of stupid.

Yeah. that the game exists. We start with a B movie that I would love to see. Disaster in space. Oh, absolutely. Oh, yeah. Why not? Look, you buy your rampage movie, you get a small gravity for free. Just a tiny gravity to bring you home. A little short film before the future gets underway. That's what this is. I mean, do we need another disaster in space movie? I don't know about that. That's a fair point. But yeah, I mean, this is, and certainly, I didn't expect to start here. So it glues you to the screen. It's Marley Shelton is

the last surviving astronaut in a space station of astronauts that got got. Well, just because I did a bitchy side-swipe on Malin Ackerman, I will praise Marley Sheldon who I've always enjoyed and everything. Oh, yeah. And I'll say just to defend Malin Ackerman

for two seconds, the short-lived sitcom that she was on Trophy Wife with Bradley Whitford fucking hysterical. People tell me she's good at comedy, and maybe I believe it. But this not her and watch If I had to guess, the director must have told her do not be funny.

Avoid it if possible. Look, we're making a movie a video game movie here, I guess. If so, I want more destruction. Honestly, just start with them starting in the middle. It's a disaster at the whole city. You start a disaster in space. There's a rat loose, Chris. Oh, of course.

A giant monster rat. Is that Jesse the rat from the original? I mean, I think that there was, I was looking at, of there's a version. The rat isn't one of the games. No, what are you talking? If it's a sequel or something. Wow. So that's Jesse, by the way. It's stupid Jesse, the rampage.

Oh my God. But this is a bit of a misnomer here in a way because she's on the phone with ground control or whatever. And she's like, oh, one of the samples got loose, you know, oh, scary or whatever. People are dead. There's a body floating by. There's a dude without an eyeball, which is pretty great. Then

Mission Control is just like, it's just a rat. Meanwhile, You know you're doing these experiments to make them as tall as a tower. Yeah. Based on the video game in your office. Yeah. Because that's a thing too. It's very important, dude.

It's not mission control. It's literally just Malin Ackerman and Jake Lacey, who I appreciate, unless I missed it, that the movie doesn't confirm whether or not they're a married couple or brother and sister. Right. Because that's fucking funny. All rich people are exactly like that. You need a rich couple. You're like, are they, wait, are they really?

What is that? What is this? What is that? You know? A lot of, a lot of those, uh, uh, gene pools are quite shallow. Oh, yeah. How are your mothers? If they're, you know, if they're not fucking their kids will be or they're, I don't know if, I

don't know if I read it on Wikipedia or it is confirmed in a line in the movie. They are brother and sister. But I know, but I don't, but I don't know where, where I got that from. Because I see a person that looks like Malin Ackerman and another person that looks like Jake Lacey and the whole hour and 47. minutes, my head was like, are these two specimens fuck? Sure. And listen, dude, I was on high alert for it and I didn't hear a little bro, big sis comment like that. Brothers and

sisters fuck all the time. Yeah, yeah. And also, by the way, there will be no fucking Eric, no fucking Eric. No fucking. No, it's a Dwayne Johnson movie. Exactly. We've got the rock here. Put your dicks away. Yeah. Well, Girdier Lloyd's, the Rock will have none of it. This is the this is probably the sexiest rock movie. There are sex jokes that he participates in he knows that the penis exists

in this film. I mean, that's a good point because after, I mean, the gravity thing, it's funny. It's also like the ad aster scene,

but like, of course, shitty. It's also like that movie Life that nobody watched. Yeah. Oh, yeah,

life, dude, I saw that shit in the theater. No, I got one instead. Oh, nice. Look at you. Look at you coming in hot.

That's adorable. I mean, joking with me about wasting your own life. I wasted mine too. Everybody. I mean, so this is just to set up like, this is where the fucking pods come from.

She very quickly puts these three things in a carrying case, gets into the escape pod right as the rat is scratching up her fucking thing. And of course, you see the little moisture things in the in the pod. And you're like, oh,

she has a little shards of glass You're like, oh, the windshield's falling apart. And so she gets just fucking demolish. Like, you just see her die horribly. And I was like, okay, Rampage, if you can keep up this kind of violence to humans in this movie, we might be sitting on something here. I was almost there.

I was big, but I'm like, okay, so she must be the Rock's wife. Yeah. It's this person, oh, she doesn't matter at all. She just had to die. Marley Shelton is not a name. actor. So it's kind of a nice little dupe like getting her, you know, killed off in the open sugar and spice

in this movie. Menginello is also that. It's like, oh, here comes Joe. Oh, no, he's dead. Yes. Yes. Which is totally exquisite. Even stranger because he has to be hatched from the same exact egg as Jeffrey Dean Morgan. They're too similar. They are far too similar.

But Joe Mangliallo there. Whatever his name is. Mangonello. Okay. I'll take you, I'll take your word for it. That one, though, he got sprayed with the sample from space.

I see. He got all big and strong and weird. It's kind of stunning that because, you know, this is the Rampage movie, right? You'd think, like, let's have some fucking fun. Oh, yeah. Like a big guy, a giant being. Sniff some of that, such as the rock, you know. Well, it's weird that the rock is in this movie at all because, like, I mean, like,

because this is a disaster movie, right? And you do want an intrepid hero to be like, whoa, this is crazy. But usually when the disaster is so big, especially with monster, the rock can't fight these monsters. So why does it, him being the rock matter at all? That's true. We don't have to go all the way back down to Godzilla Matthew Broderick, who is a human fly. Somewhere in the middle.

Like, you know, like even Jack Quaid is in this first scene. Like, that's kind of what you're shooting for. In defense, I guess, he's a big guy who would get along with guerrillas. he's training the guerrillas at the zoo. He's a, by the way, a fucking, uh, in this movie a, a black ops operative doing wet work and the jungles murdering people. Sure. And then on the side getting his primatology degree.

That's how it works. Yep. G.I. Bill. Correspondence classes, man. Honestly, like if you put your mind to it. Yeah, that's true. You can be out in the bush illegally murdering scores of whomever, you know, and still be working on your degree at night.

Let's call that one of a post. as well. Mark that one down as a poacher. Yeah, that's another P for poacher. Got this online class and you wouldn't believe it. This just guy, we should put him in charge of a whole zoo. Yes. He's just immediately like, when we're introduced to him, he's like, you think you're in the jungle for a minute. It's him. It's the quade boy.

Which I do appreciate that they planted the little seeds first. You got a small role for the quade boy before he took over all culture. before the boys happened and then this has to be right before the boys started he's so small in this movie

like it makes sense that it's just a small little roll that no I'm saying it's got to be pretty close so like the boys started like what 2019 2020 that sounds right kind of right around the corner and then the nerd guy who's in Wolf of Wall Street oh he's Rugrette from Wolf of Wall Street

that guy getting arrested in Wolf of Wall Street one of the funniest like baby pissing its pants shots of all time. He's great. He's also great in Babylon, which is not a good movie, but his sequence with the sound. He's the guy that loses his shit in the sound. Best

part of the movie. Probably best best performance in the movie. And I think the actor's name is PJ Byrne because I looked him up last night because I'm like, this guy, if I ever killed anybody, he'd play me in a movie. Oh, sure. You know what I mean? That's what they'd make a movie about. Certainly, if I went out on a rampage of my own

this guy, I would get to hit PJ Burn and Oscar. Yep. Oh, yeah. So this is your dream? This is my dream. This is why are you going to kill all those people? Well, considering that there's always someone older playing you. I mean, I think you're probably close to Anthony Hopkins playing. Last one out, like podcaster Anthony Hopkins, who just happens to murder. I don't know, man.

You get a look at Rugrat. There's some crow's feet there. He's not no spring. I just can't picture. I can't take, you know, Anthony Hopkins in an X-Men t-shirt. I just don't know about. I didn't buy Anthony Hopkins as Steve, believe it. Oh, no.

I'm going to shoot up this comic book store because they're all out of Green Lantern comics. This episode is brought to you by Casper. But yeah, they're out. And also, by the way, a sexy lady. Oh, yes. She comes and goes.

She sure does. There's a, you know, they have this, it's this opening scene where like we meet George, the ape here, he's friends with the rock and whatnot. And it's like, all right, that's the training for the day. We're actually at the San Diego Wildlife

conservative because we can't say the San Diego Zoo probably maybe there's two different places in San Diego that cage animals I don't know but so it's like done with work for the day and this lady is like oh my God Dwayne the Rock Johnson the way that you fucking controlled those animals today it just got me so fucking horny the word the line is I would love to learn about those submission techniques you use yeah there it is maybe we could practice those later And the Rock Johnson and says, no ma'am.

He just goes. No ma'am. No, ma'am, no S&M. I already got plans tonight. Sorry about that. And then Rugrat is like, dude, you have to fuck human women. Like you can't be hanging out of animals. Yes, yeah. But was there an age gap here? It seemed maybe there was.

Yeah, she's probably looking at her 20s. He's probably old enough to be her father. Maybe that was part of it. I don't think that was going to be coming up in the whatever discussion they were having. Well, I'm here. now and we're disgusting. Well, I just think that, you know, the dude's got other issues

if he prefers hanging out with fucking apes over people. We should say I totally understand where he's coming from. They're in the middle of this class or whatever and like one of the monkeys pavo, it gets really aggressive. And Jack Quaid like curls up into a ball

and it's like, oh, look at that little whip. Are you kidding me? I'd love to see any of these tough guys in a gorilla pen when a gorilla is like jumps I would shit my pants and piss everywhere. I agree. As would I. You know why, Steve?

Because you and I would be tourists in this situation. And this is why it's confusing as to what the hell these people are up to because I'm like, all right, unless this is day one, Jack Quaid, you don't have an excuse. They're a school group. He's taking, it's a group. The two, him and a Rugrat are part of the zoo. But I think, or the conservancy or whatever. But yeah, they're like, this is your field stuff.

for the day. Well, at the very least, I think Quaid is going to be around for a while because he's doing rounds at the zoo and finds the exploded thing later. These are people clearly maybe also working on some sort of zoological dissertation or something. Unless this is his

first day around these animals, it's ridiculous that everyone else is like in grad school and fine with it and he's a huge coward. Like maybe this field is in fault. I can handle this by the way. All you need to do, listen, folks, giant ape coming at you. Roll up a newspaper.

You know, you're going to want to get that schnaz. Just smack that in the schnaz. This also works for grizzly bears. Grizzly bears love this. That's true, too. So while, you know, this, you know, Pavo here, this one gorilla that they're dealing with and sort of learning about like, oh, you know, poachers killed his family, he's new here, blah, blah, blah. In comes this huge white gorilla.

And you're like, what is going on? And I think the gorilla kind of like smacks Jack Quaid a little bit. He does sort of like knock him a little bit. But like this, and then it's like you, oh, you realize right here, this is the level of chimp movie we're talking about or ape movie because it turns out like this ape was just joking with him. And like he's, you know, he's signing with the rock and like, oh, you were fucking with that guy. That's ridiculous. You can't be playing jokes like that around here.

George. George has a twisted sense of humor. And he's shoulder checks Paavo right out of the fucking. Paavo goes flying into the woods I'm not sure if Paavo's alive He walks away with his fucking non-existent tail between his legs And that's when the rock is like

No George Like he's part of our family now People killed his family He's really guilt tripping this ape for the prank That he played And it's like hey give me a fist bump Uh oh middle finger time Mother fuck

This ape's giving the finger now And he's like man God damn That given the fucking finger Has not been funny in 40 years Until now I just Oh really this one sent you Oh dude to the mood

No There was a smirk A sure There was a little contained chuckle Well because like you That's as much as you can get away with Right If you got a teenager audience a little bit

Oh you can't teach the fucking Ape to be like Fuck you You have to give him a little finger here. Imagine an ape walking around saying, fuck you and everyone. Oh, my God. Right?

Here, let's do a prank show. We train an ape with cattle prods, whatever it takes. So anything it would say, fuck you. We'd put them in a little business suit. Oh, this would be. Loose on Wall Street.

And he's saying, fuck you to people. And they're like, well, I never. Before we're sent to prison, this would be fantastic. Yeah. This would be great. And then PJ Byrude would play me in the movie.

but then the ape can break us out of prison I see it's all purpose tool I mean the whole thing like so because Quaid is like flirting with the girl all before this trying to strike something up here before it

and of course this happens and like she goes for the rock right after this and he it's just it's so it's such a stupid thing it's like you know what makes him more masculine is that he wouldn't fuck the woman he wouldn't do it that's what makes him

more of a man and a hero Yeah, that's dumb. So he's going to go home to wax the rest of his body hair. And meanwhile, in the night, this is when the satellite breaks up and we get all these pods. One pod goes to George. And I will say, like, the CGI was actually pretty good on George at the very least. They do good character work. And, like, when he smells, they're like, oh, no.

I did have that moment. Oh, no. Yeah. But you are right, man. The rock, no hair at all. That's zero. Zero. zero. There's nothing going on. Do you think he's got

a little bush downstairs at all? Nothing. I think I know, I think it's smooth sailing. I think it's just, I like to slip, slide away. Just slip and slide in everywhere. How often do you think he like gives his entire body that Brazilian wax? It's got to be. It's got to be at least weekly. Yeah, I think it's the very least. Because I mean, you know, I was about to say like, well, only when he knows he's shooting

a movie. But the problem with this guy, his whole life is on fucking social media also so like you can't even just work out no and have like a little like you know arm fuzz going on because you're in the fucking iron oasis or whatever he calls it and there's a fucking camera on you at all time so yeah I think you just got to be slick like a seal 24 by 7 just like bathing and access chemicals or something to get all that shit off you get into a little waiting pool he plugs his nose you know like here I go this is for Hollywood and he gets on course you got to put the butt plug in well yeah you want to get it cover all the fucking orifices, dude.

You don't want your organs melting. You have to put the little one in your urethra hole just to make sure nothing gets in there. Steve, do they make those? Unaware, Senator. Are you, sir? Just get a little clothes pin.

That's not doing the job. It's going to melt away. I'm sure it's doing the job for somebody. That's got to be a little low. That feels like it might hurt. But his, his dick is probably so muscular from lifting weights. Like, it probably lifts weights itself.

It probably does. But he's so slick. Dude, you cannot catch the rocket. a pool. It's just like slick like a no, no. Oh yeah. Yeah, you try to play Marco Polo with that dude fucking forget it. He'll roll on you like an alligator. Speaking of which, oh, sure. So one pod goes to George. You're like, oh, no. One pod goes to a wolf in a wolf pack and the third one goes into the swamp, but you don't even see what gets it. Which is so stupid. Because I'm pretty sure, I mean, Lizzie was the second player in the Nintendo

guy. Why this wolf gets all this real is I never heard of this fucking wolf. Because he fucking kills Joe Mango dies and then Ralph sorry Ralph people on the internet are calling them Ralph Ralph Ralph uh like and also I'm sorry the goddamn alligator looks horrible it looks like a swamp came to life looks bad

and we've already had so many Godzilla's and stuff like that I think that's probably why they wait so long but here's the thing too for whatever reason like when you see the rat in in a hot second it's got all the spiny shit on it like well what's going on with that rat when the wolf later gets spiny shit too

and gets like bat wings for a hot second. The lizard alligator has like fucking dilaphasaurus panels and like wardhog tusks. Yes. But the ape is just an ape and that I don't get like. Because he's a good guy.

Let me tell you something here. That's the good guy we're supposed to like because their DNA is so close to human you understand. I see. I mean, I don't know, dude. You could modify him just a little bit. Like, why don't you put a tie on it? The Nintendo Corporation's got to have a couple questions about that. You put a tie on them, you train him to say, fuck you, and you're bringing to Wall Street. What a great idea. It would be funny. I think they tried to do that in the Wolf of Wall Street. Yeah, there wasn't a moment where there was a fucking an orangutanang in that office.

We're calling it of Ralph Wall Street. Oh, the Ralph of Wall Street. Oh, the Ralph of Wall Street. The Ralph of weirdos on the internet are calling them Ralph. They, overnight, like, so like the next day the Rock shows up and PJ Burns like, dude, you got to see this. Now, here's something. I feel like PJ Burton exists in this scene, obviously, to tell

DJ's character, you got to see this, right? But in what fucking world is the Rock's character not the fucking first one there in the morning and the last one to leave at night, dude? He pulls in and I was like, you're late for work. I I don't believe it with this character. You got to have him fucking that girl then.

That's why he's late. That would work. Iron man-esque playboy cad. You know, here's the thing, right? If you, maybe he's, listen, because the rock is a happily married man. Maybe he's got that weird fucking Kirk Cameron thing where it's like, oh, I couldn't mother. That makes some sense. But I don't know if that's true because here's a real easy, like way to make the character more of a, you know,

realized character in this way like maybe he puts up that whole thing right he tells PJ Byr like no no no I prefer hanging out with ABC tomorrow and then he's late for work and then uh oh in the car some pink fucking lady undies yeah I mean

and then it's like uh oh yeah what's he's like oh sorry I was late maybe like flix a met fucking rug rat or something you know I don't know about that wasn't a totally different movies yeah yeah yeah why not down with love starring George and

Dwayne Johnson. I know nothing about the Rock's personal life. What's his wife's name? The Crystal. Lauren something. Oh, that's not as fun. Lauren, the Crystal Johnson.

Just another rocky kind of thing. You know, like the G-O'd. And he's got two children so the man in real life, Fox. Yeah. Who does he? Pebble and Bam Bam?

He's got two kids with this lady and then he's got an older daughter from a previous marriage that she's into Rasslin herself. Oh, how about that? Why not? Come on. down free paycheck. I think

Bochum, I think Johnson's got something like Bocham Woodbine in the big hit. He's just taking care of himself. Oh, I see. He takes that very seriously. He's got just like a bar worth of different lubricants that he uses to take care of himself.

He's working that bicep and his forearm to make sure he's got good grip. Yeah, like this is the lube I use if I'm going to be doing the stranger. This is the heating loop. If it's, you know, like a December jerk off and I'm out on the patio. Maybe you can mix them all a little bit like

a mixologist, make a new one. Loob cocktail. Anyway, the film Ram paint. I would love to do you. No loop cocktails in the film Ram. Not enough. Loop my cocktail. Lupin tonic. George is actually in the grizzly bear pen

and we go in there and PJs got a gun rightfully so. And the grizzly has been murdered. Oh yeah, dude. fucking snap this thing's neck like a fortune cookie. Which I kind of want to see that scene. Yeah.

But then you reveal that the gorilla is now very, very large. And the rocks are like, wow, that's crazy. Put your gun down. We're not going to, I would assassinate this thing immediately. Absolutely. While you still can. As we come to find, that would not work. Literally nothing harms them, which is question.

It's stupid. Oh, yeah, because like, oh, yeah, there's this whole like regeneration clause in this movie. And I was like, that wasn't in the game. George Kent. He's a Superman. The movie has unlimited quarters. Sorry. I see. Okay. That makes sense. We should say in the beginning, there is a scroll in this movie, which there absolutely should not be, which is about CRISPR, CRIS, PR, which I believe is an app where it vegetables can fuck each other. That's true.

You got it right on. It's with a K, except this one's with the C. So the CRISPR is, it was a, I mean, they say it the whole thing. It's because at some point downline, I think it's Naomi Harris, mentions it. And she's, and if you would just let it be there, I'd be like, what the fuck is that? CRISPR was a, yeah, some sort of genetic program run by Regenine, whatever this company calls themselves. Yes. And we're told in the scroll

that in 1993, this technology was invented, yada, yada, yada, gene therapy, yada, yada. And now. In 2016, dude, qualifies as a WMD. That's right. The CRISPR virus is a weapon of mass destruction. Boom. Start in the movie. We know this is at least Saddam Hussein level event. I don't know. Allegedly, I know, because he didn't even have any. That poor man. He didn't even know how to Chrisper. He should have had a giant, if he had a giant ape, it would have been, I would have understood things. So as you've guessed, yes, CRISPR is now the new reason we're in Afghanistan.

Poppy's making rampages over there. Like the game I like. He made a deadly camel, Poppy. Yeah. I heard that some geniuses over on the internet, naming this wolf, all sorts of things. Each one of his humps is poison, Poppy. Yeah, Jr., that's video game rules right here in the real world. We're talking WMD's boy. He has fangs, poppy. Fangs. Looks like juniors playing the arcade import somewhere.

Didn't find no wolf in my Nintendo entertainment system. His name's Dudley It would be better if two animals collided with the towers, right? It wouldn't be as like Do you start hucking, do a catap, put an ape in a catapult, throw it at a building? You know what? If two apes flew through

the trade towers, people in this country would go to the zoos and torture them and murder them all. Absolutely. What did you know about it? A fucking ape? Yeah. I think essentially the same stuff would have happened afterwards. I think essentially the same course of events. Two monkeys

he's just end up in the middle of a, it doesn't really kill anyone, but just still, they're just splat against the building essentially. Yeah, let's just wrap up the military. So that all goes down. And then it's like, oh, Jack Quaid's like, you got to come to the guerrilla enclosure. And it's like,

bum, bump, bump, bye, here's this device that fell out of the sky. We cut to Chicago. This is Malin Ackerman and Jake Lacey. Like, oh, hey, good news, everybody. The rampage program is still on. And I was like, absolutely not. Like I know that I'm watching a movie called Rampage

And it's called Rampage because it was based on the game called Rampage And that's about as far as it needs to go And they rampage in the movie Sure Sure Did you know that Yuvra Bull tried to sue Warner Brothers I actually have a trilogy called Rampage And if you use it

This it's going to actually impede on my rights To use the Rampage Honey those aren't real movies Oh no Oh, no, ma'am, not a real movie. So he made a movie called The Rampage. Which is about a fella shooting up Wall Street. Now,

had he been a monkey in a tie saying, fuck you, shooting up Wall Street, it would have gone somewhere. Did anyone see that one? I did not. I always wanted to. I always wanted to. There's assault on Wall Street. Isn't that this? I'm confusing them. I'm confusing them. Because that's the movie

with Eddie Furlongs, like the security guard friend of his. Yes, that sounds right. The guy, the guy in that jailbreak, I think, is playing one of, I think one of the guys from Prison Break. Prison Break. A man with Thirst for Revenge builds Full Body Armor from Kevlar

and goes on a killing spree. That's Rampage? That is Rampage. It is Yuvables Rampage. I confused it. I confused it with the Wall Street. But yeah, there is a Yuvabal movie where like some dude, I think prison break guy gets fucked over. Hold on. There's two other movies. Okay. Rampage

Capital Punishment. And then the first movie is getting the death penalty. And oh my God, in what year is this? 2016, Rampage President Down. And the poster is the rampage guy on the White House. And the tagline is, which is what's really selling me, this bill will not be vetoed. Sounds to me, like if you have that third movie on DVD,

you automatically participated in Jan 6th. I don't know how that works out but I think that it gave you a promo code to go to Jan 6 somehow it did it do is going to happen five years later. Here's your Jan 6 digital download.

It sounds not great. It sounds like I want to watch. I'm looking on your watch list. I can see it right now. I'm smiling. A big smile right now in his face. So the whole thing is like, oh, actually

Project Rampage is still a go. Because we found, you know, the little canisters such as they were, they were able to withstand reentry. So we just got to track down where they were and we could find them or we could fucking start. Like the movie definitely starts with them being like, so all we have to do is go to these three places and find them. And then like, without telling you the movie changes its mind because then later they're like, so all we got to do is turn on this radio tower and all the animals are going to come to us. And I was like, but I thought you were. All right. Well, they try to go to the...

Oh, actually, that's true. He's friends with the... Because they find out George is friendly with them, so they can't do it. The wolf, they're like, oh, shit, that wolf is in whatever, the Pacific Northwest, right? That's what it is. Excuse me, what's his name? Ralph, the weirdos on the internet, you see, have been calling him Ralph. Thank you.

She has this lie. I forgot this, though, but she does have, uh... Remember that military firm we acquired last year? And she goes to Jake Lacey. You called them Killers Are Us. Yes. So they do actually, they do try to go out and capture these things because this is Joe Mangonello is the head of this fake Blackwater kind of organization. We're rolling out to get this wolf. We're going hunting boys. And did you notice who like main hunter number two was? No. Like Mangonelow running the whole thing. And then it's the asshole guy who's basically playing the same character in Avatar. It's the same kind of like, should I bring the 50 caliber for them blue people or what?

I think he also makes Daredevil's suit. He does. Yes, that's correct. Oh, he's that guy? Yeah. Oh, okay. Great cinematic legacy. Great Chrome Dome. One of the great Chrome Dome.

Yeah, he's a big bulk of, uh, chrome dome. And it's like, all right, let's do it. Let's roll out. Like, you know, it's, it's, this scene's not great. Honestly, like the, you kind of want the scene to be better, like the first rampage of like, hit this wolf killing all these military guys. I kind of want a little more here. Yeah, I, I, I, I was satiated, man.

I don't know. My blood lust was. maybe running low last night or something. This wolf fucks these dudes up. You're seeing dudes literally ripped apart. The dude from Avatar gets absolutely destroyed. And Mangonello, man, he fucking goes down like a true champion. It's pretty good.

Yeah, he's the Drew Barrymore in this scene. Yeah, my boyfriend's big. He plays football. He's going to beat the shit out of you. Oh, no, I'm not the star of the movie. I'm getting killed. What a fucking surprise. he really it's a it's kind of funny what they do because the wolf like somehow sneaks up behind him

and then he's a lot of like get my gun ready and then like the wolf just attacks yeah your gun was useless weird and then it's like oh the wolf didn't work meanwhile so now the rock they have sedated they have the monkey in an enclosure well george in an enclosure you're skip so verner herzog comes in. And he has the tapes from when George killed the grizzly. And he's like, you have to watch this. It's awesome. It's so fucking awesome. You should

see what he did. Let me get that guy's wife. She's going to fucking love it. It just destroys this grizzly bear. It just tears him apart. Here is the revenge your husband's soul so desperately needs. We need more of these alpine gorillas. Let's go

George. Let's go George. at some point around here Naomi Harris wakes up hungover she wakes up in the movie like what oh shit

fuck I miss the first 20 minutes of rampage she's getting a phone call it's like hey you're supposed to be in the movie you're late oh fuck I gotta get out of bed

and she is a former energine scientist that knows all about I don't know here's the thing I love Naomi Harris and I think she's fantastic in most things

she's just okay here if there's not about She's like the rock's almost girlfriend. It's the streak. I mean, like, it's moonlight. Moonlight happened and all of a sudden they were like, hey, be in everything. Sure, I'll be in everything. Oh, right.

She's the mom in moonlight. Yeah, okay. And she's obviously in all those James Bond movies. The Pirates of the Caribbean. And also excellent 28 days later. Oh, yes. Yes. Made my favorite.

Still after Moonlight, I might. Yeah, my favorite 28 days later, FYI. but yes she gets a phone call like you're late for whatever job you're supposed to be working at and she's seeing the news report like a lot of this looks weirdly familiar I should probably go check it out so she goes to San Diego and this is like

they now because George is growing we have him in this huge cage and she comes in science science yada and George breaks out immediately yeah you need to feed this thing it's so hungry and it's going to be aggressive but it's too late thing breaks out It's running around. And I have never, in my life, rooted for homeland security before.

Oh, sure. But when they fucking start to put this gorilla down and the rock's like, no. I'm like, yeah, do it. Yeah, do it, dudes. Get out. Light this fucking monstrosity up. Yeah, because if you kill it now, you won't have to try and kill it when it's much bigger later. Yes.

Not too shabby. That's true. Yeah. But they just trank it and then they arrest the rock and Naomi Harris for some reason. They should like, now I know it takes time. I mean, like it regenerates or whatever. It heals pretty fast. Can't you like dismember it or something?

Yeah, like I could take that head off. I've been saying this all month. Take the legs and arms off. Maybe the teeth. I mean, you don't know. I mean, like, I mean, you don't know what it is at this point. I'm willing to bet if you take that thing and try to put a saw on it, it just breaks. Like, oh, I don't really think anything's getting through the skin.

Oh, these things are unbreakable then. I think you get, you know what? Get the biggest white barrel in history. Yes. Find it and then get a lot of lie. I'm not kidding you. Whole supplies of lie. Go to a warehouse where you have to buy this with a license.

Then maybe you're working with this. I like it. You know what the rock? I'm sorry. Someone has to tell him because I mean like this is a man in his monkey story, much like the last week's. any which way you can. It's, it's, you know, like,

hey man, this is no longer your friend. Your friend is dead. What exists now is this, also like, eager, aggressive, like, this thing's like yacked up on Coke and ready. This is a cocaine bear scenario. It really is, dude. Yeah, like your buddy that you would watch,

you know, eight movies with and drink a bunch of beers together. That dude's dead, DJ. I'm sorry to tell you. This is a, this is a great A monster you have on your hands. It's no longer cocaine bear. You've got Adderall Ape now. No, no. It's doing its homework too fast.

It's cleaning everything. We don't stop him now. This ape's going to clean every bathroom inside of that hospital top to bottom. Oh, man. The pantry is just immacually organized. Wow. This is a really great system. Can that ape come to my house tonight?

This house hasn't looked better in years. Thanks, Adderall Ayer. It looks incredible, but there's all these banana peels everywhere. So we're reinventing monkey butlers here. Adderall ape. I like it. I think the monkey butlers were all drug addicts. They got to be on something. Oh, for sure.

One of the coolest things in this whole like wolf sequence that happens, because like after they get arrested is the wolf sequence, which we already talked about. But one of the things that they keep true to the game function, which I thought was kind of neat, these animals are going after helicopter. helicopters at all time. Yes. Yeah. And you see, I mean, it's this wild ass.

It's like, Manganel is the only dude on the ground left alive. And he's like, you got to fucking take this thing out with the chain gun. And like this wolf just eats this helicopter to the ground. It's so awesome. I feel like the wolf size changes quite a bit. Am I wrong? Like, it seems like it's big and small again. But don't you understand?

That's not us being lazy and stupid. That stuff's happening and they're growing. They're all growing. So we don't have to give a shit. Don't give a shit. We'll explain it in the script. It's all part of the show, folks. Because I feel like the helicopter scene seems a lot bigger than it does later when he's in Chicago, go to the Cubs game.

Oh, maybe. Yeah, I don't know. It could be. But, you know, we got multiple helicopters down in this film, which is great. I mean, they're the easiest thing to destroy, right? Of all man's creations. Exactly. I mean, you sneeze at a helicopter that things, oh, fuck, we're going down.

You instantly hear that. What's that alarm? Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt. Yeah. Oh, my God. What a great. That's the we're going down alarm. I just want to make sure no one had any Taco Bell for lunch because if you fart, we will go to.

Durt, dirt, dirt, dirt. Oh, fuck what you do. You farted. Oh, God. The helicopter, it's just so dated. You try to jump out of there with a parachute. You're sucked up in the blades. I'm so sorry.

I just wanted to try the three-beat salad. Durt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt. Anyone see this week's succession? Oh, no, a spoiler, we're going down. So DJ is like, hey, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, you're not going to put this ape on that plane there, are you? And he's like, he got that right, boy. As soon as I finished this here, Peach Cobbler,

me and you is going to take the ape. Oh, man, that Peach Cobbber, with his side of scenery, dude. He's having fun, but it's like, oh, they're being tough guys against each other. And poor Naomi Harris has to be like, I guess I'm the girl who has to be like, you two tough guys stop being tough.

But it's one of those things where it's like even that kind of, because like they start like, you know, dick measuring and whatnot. And then they get her in there and she has to be like, it's just the lines you've heard a thousand times of like, boys, can we stop waggling out there? And I was like, oh, now you have to do

even that's fucking played. Yes, it's very played. Well, yeah, you're going to give, you know, women more screen time. Why don't you say, oh, just to, what was it in Golden Night? Boys with toys. Yeah, you're just with boys with toys. There is one moment, though, where Jeffrey Dean Morgan definitely calls Dwayne Johnson brother.

Yeah. And then it's like DJ's response is like something or he's like, whatever he's actually responding to DJ's like, well, why don't you take the cuffs off and then we can find out, brother. And it's like, yeah. Not so great. Not great. Jeffrey Dean Morgan,

Homeland Security guy. Oh, you're a racist on the play? Oh, fuck, the helicopter's going down again. Called Dwayne Johnson brother. The helicopter going down a lot. I love that alarm. I want that to be like my, you know, wake up call in the morning.

You feel like you're in a helicopter plummeting to your dad? You know what I need to rig my bed to like shake at the same time? You know what it could be? Opens a window instantly. A fan goes on. If that happens, right? So every morning you simulate going down in some sort of aircraft. The realization of like, oh, I just woke up and it's early.

I'm in my bed. Like, okay, so the worst thing to actually happen at the moment is he had to get out of bed. And not like, oh, few, I'm not actually dying. That's true. What a relief. It's reassuring. It helps you start the day and a little bit better footing. I think that's a positive way to look at it.

But I also, I kind of get the. feeling your lovely wife is going to be waking up every morning with, we're going down! We're going down! But listen, yes, there'll be months of that. But eventually we'll be comfortable. And then when I'm in an actual helicopter that starts

going down, I'll just have that room. Zen, you'll be good. Yeah, time to go to bed, close my eyes. You be nodding off. So this is all in preparation for you, obviously dying in a helicopter, if you go in a helicopter. It's a way to go down. It's that or being shot at the

grocery store. Okay. I'm an American, Chris. I know. Go with the big one. I agree. So, yeah, they're in the plane and they're like, oh, man, they realize now Jake Lacey and Malin Ackerman Ackerman are aware that the wolf is unstoppable and now that the government has this ape and Naomi Harris.

And if they start putting two and two together, we're all going to jail. Let me put on this insane weird transmitter thing on top of the Sears fucking tower or the Willis Tower now, I guess. And it's going to make all the animals go insane and come here and fight each other. And the government will just stop them before that ever happens. And we'll be safe. We could also pick up the remains because basically the blood will be on our doorstep so we can just scoop it up. We have the weaponized DNA at our disposal so we can just go out there with an ice cream

scooper and pick up some of Frankie's brains or whatever the fuck these things are called. What's the wolf's name again? Ralph. The weirdos of the internet have been calling him Ralph. Oh, Ralph. Martin. Yeah.

And so let's just start this beacon. And then the beacon, the wolf just shoots off to head to Chicago way. Head to Chicago way. You do see it because we're fucking keeping it secret. Of course. By you, this thing is moving in the water. And you're like, oh, fuck, what's it going to look like?

And it's like when you eventually see it and it looks nothing like the game, not like anything in this movie looks like the game. But you're just like, ha, should have fucking kept it in there a little longer. Or just two things is fine. Two things is plenty. But also the third part of this is, I am sure. I haven't watched in a while because I do remember when the wolf flies at the end of the movie, that's definitely in one of the trailers in the movie.

Oh, and he flies. Yeah, the wolf was flying. They fly now. Yeah, that's definitely in the trailer. And I guarantee you that the fucking Lizzie the lizard was revealed in at least trailer two, three or the final trailer for sure. Oh, sure. So like what is the point of even trying to keep that shit secret in a movie?

You don't know what I bought the ticket for it? Well, here's the thing. I saw it six months ago at the Super Bowl, dude. Where is it? The movie is well made and locked before the trailers. Sure. Like when that shit happens, it's the trailer people's fault. Like the movie people have it. They are well within their right to try to keep something as a surprise from the audience. It's the assholes that market it later. you know and like if you ever met a trailer cutter some of these sadistic fucks oh really oh yeah no I just know one this I know one trailer cutter who's a fucking total loser I'm sure a lot of them are I'm sure a lot of them are totally great but like this motherfucker that I'm thinking of

this motherfucker would definitely be like well you got to show that lizard in the trailer yeah and then like the director can be like well hey man actually we go to great lengths to you know sort of tease the character and the surprise reveal the character design and everything in the yeah but we put in the trailer We'll go right in the trailers It's by the trailer Look, who can deed The other two roars Aren't as good as that roar Okay, so we're gonna get that one out here We're gonna need a reveal for trailers

Right now trailer 3 is feeling a little light In the reveal department Because I was the first trailer revealed a lot Second trailer revealed even more But trailer 3 is lacking in the reveal The part we're gonna want to have something else in there So there's nothing to No reason for you to actually see the movie

Because by the time we get to the final trailer by the way. You want to make sure by the final trailer everything has been revealed. That's what we have trailers 1 through 3 4 to get all the reveals out of the way. Trailer 4 final trailer, no more reveals. By the way, we have plenty of surprise is still late. We haven't even teased

even a little bit that Joe Pantaniano and Tommy Lee Jones are trying to find Harrison Ford while this is happening. That'd be great, right? The fugitive song playing as I want to check over a monkey house, ape house. I didn't grow 50 feet tall and kill my wife. That was the ape.

I don't care. Oook, ook, ook. A white ape. Like I believe that. A one-armed man, a white ape, same difference. I got to say, so the ape wakes up midair. So, like, you know, there's some like reveals. This is when we find out that the rock was a special op soldier and also a primatologist.

Of course. And we find out also that Jeffrey Dean Morgan works for some other government, shady government. And then Naomi Harris was fired and was in jail. And actually has no means at this point to get to a cure, which is what she sells DJ on way back when they first meet each other. But the ape wakes up midair and it's this midair collision sequence. I don't know if it's because we just done uncharted a couple months ago. I am so sick of these sequences.

I don't know what I don't know what it is. It's because of the. It's in the mummy. that whatever the mummy movie Tom Cruise. I'm trying to think of other I mean I just fall over the place. It's in Mission Impossible movies. It's in Dark Night Rises. Yes, it's just sort of like the oh my God the plane is going down but we're fighting each other

while the plane is going down. It's a little tired at this point and also what's also weird about this scene. It's you know, George starts to break out of his cage. Jeffrey Dean Morgan has the line, aim for its body. Like what? Wow, dude, you get paid for that kind of advice?

Remember to target. the body. No, I'm sorry, the aura. Don't aim for its body at all. Just the whatever's emanating off of it. Shoot it in the chakra. You got to get it in the chakra now. No way it's going to go down. I mean, it's also the problem is that now all of them are CGI. Like the first couple of these were Mission Impossible, Fast and Furious, which are very dark night. Are stunt heavy. Like you're going to put that forefront. Now it's like it's a fucking ape and it's the boxes coming out of the uncharted. thing and I don't give a shit.

Yeah. I kind of was okay. All right. There is. It's like the ape gets crushed by a big like a forklift that goes flying. That's kind of neat. Dudes are getting whipped out of this plane. Again, it's like I did not expect this movie to have

a toll at all, any kind of a body counts. It's like the little Andrew video game in its head in my head. It's like, ding, ding. There's another one. Ding. You work over the high score. Ding. I was shocked because, you know, you know, like a Marvel movie or something wouldn't have this body can. It's true. For sure.

And I will admit, I understand like everything. Like, this is all ridiculous trying to find, hold on to anything. But I was like, imagine you're, you're piling this plane and a huge gorilla bank. Oh yeah, we're fine. Yeah, we got. We're steady as we go. Don't you fucking

worry. We're not going down. Yeah. Just a little, if you look outside your window there, you'll see the Great Lakes. And the goes to Chicago here. And there's the debris of our engines which are gone a little kerfuffle there with a white ape that's

a 30 feet tall I wouldn't worry too much about it should be touch it down in 41 minutes. You want to see it's a cage it's a right side plummeting towards earth. We've got a unruly passenger in the form of a giant white ape we'll be making an emergency landing here in Bakersfield. Looks like someone's

doing their damnedest to be memed by the end of the night. It is kind of weird though because it's not weird. It's not weird. funny actually because the co-pilot comes out with a machine gun like from the flight deck like bha-d-ch-ch-ch-d-ch-de-

he's killed immediately yes and then the pilot we just the other guy you just see slumped over at the controls the dude's been shot in the back by one of these people that's why you're supposed to aim for the body not the pilot yes oh that's true yeah aim for the

oh I'm at the ape's body not the pilot's body oh should have clarified sorry yeah just a little quick update here. I've been shot in the chest. Going down my blood pressure and this plane. But we will be picking up some time in coming back here. So we will be

getting you home a little earlier. And by that I mean crashing into the ground. We'll be there earlier, but it's going to be fiery and violent. By the way, I was killed by Agent Foghorn leghorn. He shot me right in the back while he was trying to save me, quote unquote.

But so here's something that's interesting. So for folks at home, little how the sausages made here we hate movies. We just recorded earlier our episode on any which way you can. In where we talked about the

seedy motel owner looking at Ma and having the Bo Derek fantasy and they put what's Ruth Gordon's face on Bo Derek's body. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Similar

bit of special effecting happening here because we have a, we're jumping out of a plane and at some point we have like actual skydiving footage. Yeah. And then we want to go in on a close up of DJ's character

and it's like the footage of the skydiver. Yeah. And we put a cartoon mask on this guy. Dude, it looks like and Dwayne Johnson as Dr. Dope. This fit like polygonal fucked up CGI

That's tough, dude. Oh, someone should have said no. And then he has to do some acting like, oh, no, George. Oh, George, you're dying. Oh, George is dead. Sorry, George. But George survives the helicopter crash because they're looking around. It's not really good.

You got a body? Nope, nobody. We got nobody. Nobody. So, yeah, he survived. Uh-oh. I somehow didn't see him trampling off, even though I had literally a God's eye view of the situation. I don't know, man. There was a little bit more to worry about at the moment,

wouldn't you say? It's a humongous ape. I'm like, oh, I have no idea where he went. Not even a direction for you. Well, I'm just, you're saying that this guy should have been fighting for his life falling out of the sky and also paying attention to where they're, if you're an action hero of this size. I mean, look, you're George's friend. Are you ready to fucking help or not? This size, you're right, Dwayne, the Rock Johnson's a big guy. It stands the reason he's got bigger eyes the mean or you. That he should be able to at least clock

which direction. Don't have big hairless eyes. Don't ask me to be fair to this beautiful man. But also this the rock goes out of his way to save Jeffrey Dean Morgan even though they were antagonists before.

Yes. And it puts him in a parachute. And basically they're, you know, that now they have a begrudging respect which turns into a lifetime free pass of any crime you want to do. Yes, yes.

Hey, I'll take it. That Jeffrey Dean Morgan waking up. falling going, holy shit. That's pretty funny. I forgot about that. Yeah, because he's like unconscious as the plane is crashing and the rock like pulls him out when he doesn't have to. At some point around here, the FBI

invades Energen's office in Chicago. And this is like Malin Ackman like playing all nice. Oh, whatever you need officers. And it's like, I don't know, all these agents have to do to take one look around this fucking room. You got fucking, you know, the

villains from Rocky and Bullwinkle. Literally a rampage arcade tower. Jake Lacey is eating a pop tarts. Like, you got to go in here and be like, yeah, clearly you're crooked. We're looking through your books here. It looks like you finance the Joker? How evil are you people? But it's America, so they didn't get, they don't get arrested.

No, no. It's just. Oh, and here's a 200% tax refund. Thank you, job creators. Do you need a PPP loan? We can get you one of those. I know you're the biggest. company in the fucking world.

Don't worry. You won't have to pay him. Oh, that's forgiven. That's forgiven. Do you believe some podcast took out those loans? Is that right? Yes. And they were forgiven. We could have gotten some, we could have just rated the treasury. Wow. If only we were more keen to fucking abuse government assistance. Don't tease me. Yeah. So it's like, we're looking for such and such servers and we have this warm. blah blah blah and it's like every server

they report to them on except the one server that only the two, the bad server. The sibling fuckers have access to. Yes, sir. And that's the one that is of course controlling. Yes. The big thing. This big dog whistle in the sky they got going for 24 hours a day. Literally a big dog whistle in the sky. That's pretty dumb. They get all of our heroes. I'm having fun with the movie, but that's pretty dumb. We're at a military

command center at this point and Colonel wrongheaded is here. Everything I do will be absolutely wrong. You bet your ass I will be making wrong turn after bad decision this whole movie. Under my leadership, we haven't won a conflict since before Vietnam. Now you've got to understand. People who

were in the military are the best. The actual military are the biggest group of fuck-ups in the entire fucking world. But this primate expert and a disgraced scientist. And then a he-haw, McGraw here, forever. That's the winning combination.

The colonel is really funny, though, because it's one of those like, I am barely tolerating you, Jeffrey Dean Morgan. You're only here because you're an FBI agent or whatever, Homeland Security, whatever you are. Other government agency, yeah. But these other two people, I mean, neither of them has a badge of any kind. And there's this scene, it's your classic, the team is going to take care of the problem

and we're going to watch them get murdered through night vision goggles. I guess they're in Juliet, Illinois. I don't know where we are exactly, but like, getting close. The McAllister's live right up the fucking road. And it's, we see that the ape and the wolf are working together on the rock. It's like, that doesn't make any sense. They're both predators.

They should be tearing at each other. What's going on here? something. There's a mystery of it, Colonel. It's kind of funny because he does, he gives this like very sciencey response. And the colonel's just like, what the hell are these people? I don't want science in here. I'm going to do it wrong.

God damn it. Treat it like it's a video game. Explain it to me like it's a video game. Well, he's trying to play like a video game where you just shoot you spray and pray, man. Yes, exactly. Button mashing, they call that. Oh, yeah. I'm going to throw some moabs at it. Is this where he does

the mother of all? He mentions moab. yeah, that's like the contingency if they have to like they don't want to but if they have to they will destroy Chicago if we have to nuke Chicago it's got to happen

look we don't mean to do it just look this is what happens in all these movies don't you understand eventually we have to threaten a big bomb that's going to kill a couple of them

that's the biggest bomb like just under nuke I understand it's 2018 well the AV club sucks now anyway do it do it sure Oh, what? And pitchforks still there? Yeah, do it. Do it right now. Do it as quick as possible.

But, yeah, the colonel does give the order to evacuate the city. This is something that I think this exists now in these kinds of movies post BVS. I think it was BVS. I think it was BVS. Yeah. It was the backlash. I mean, I think our BVS episode was the creation of our gag about 75911 is happening. And like just this rampant fucking destruction and yada, yada, yada. And like after that, you get either like what happens in those Avengers movies where like they finally get in trouble for destroying shit or you get these half ass evacuate the whole city. You know, so when we knock it to shit in 45 minutes from now, nobody will be dead. Yeah, exactly. Everyone's just fine.

It's just buildings. It was just cans. Which, you know, it's funny because those people are like, see, they evacuated. It's just buildings. are the same people a lot of the time anyway that are like, but there's spray paint in the windows of the best buy. Yeah, I always love when people cry about like graffiti

or, uh-oh, someone broke a window or someone, God forbid, stole something or looted something, and they're so worried about the structure of the building, this, that, and the other thing. And then they're the ones that will never actually go to the city. Oh, no, no. Eric, it's not the fire. It's not the good.

inside the best buy that you really want. It's the best buy. You want the whole fucking turn. I swear to God, the day after the George Floyd protests and all that stuff, this guy came up to me. It was, you know, in the middle of the pandemic. It was over Zoom. It was a meeting.

Some older guy at my job was like, Stephen, did you, did you hear? They broke in to the best buy up the street. I don't give a fly. Could they act like it's their house? They said, oh, the best buy is down. They broke in. They took.

a bunch of chargers that are going to break in three months anyway. Stephen, they stole a Blu-ray of Far as good. My pre-ordered copy of Super Mario Odyssey for the Switch was in that best buy, and they burnt it to a crisp. My Lord, all the dongles are gone. There's no more fucking donkles. Where am I supposed to get my car stereo now? They took the surrounds out, and they shot it in there.

head? They should be killed all these people. They should shoot them. I can't believe they hurt the best body. They hurt the best. If I wanted to choose between three different refrigerators for which one would be my refrigerator, I would have gone there, but now okay, it goes to spray paint on it. I have to go up and I have to go three blocks over to the other best bottle look at

refrigerators. They're forcing me to a PC Richard makeup stop. fucking so much for the tolerant left. Whatever to the fucking Best Buy. Whatever. But yeah, so like now we're an hour and five minutes in, I will say, and now it's time for the rampage. Yep, finally.

Let's get rampage. I did clock it. I mean, I think there was enough, like, there was enough pre-rampage before the rampage. But now the rampage begins an artist. I know it's CGI glop and whatever. It's not light. hitting, I thought the destruction

looked pretty good. I was surprised by it as well. I was I think it's well choreographed even though like, you know, it's weird to say that because nothing's actually happening. But like usually it's just like, I don't know, like those transformer movies, for example. Like the CGI is better probably

in those films. However, because it's more expensive. But the same I, it's shot in a way where I could understand what's happening. Like the gorilla hit this then the wolf bit that and then here comes the lizard to do this as opposed to like a big

optimist prime nothing happening well because like part you know Transformers comparison to this is interesting I mean one because there is one of those movies that also ends up in Chicago at some point but like those movies part of it is like oh you got to get in there because of all the

little buttons and gizmos that are flipping and flippin when they transform and you want to get all up close with that don't you care about how that looks versus this where like what's really smart about what they do for a lot of it, you just have these huge-ass copter shots, and we're looking at

things like the lizard thing, swimming up the Chicago River, and like when they get to the one building, you know, the climbing up, the Willis Tower or whatever it is there, you know, it does actually like a 360, a chopper flies around the building, and you can see the different parts of the building that

the monsters are climbing up and like doing the rampage game thing. Game shots are good. I like the game shots quite a bit. I got to say, though, this alligator looks a little much, too much like a Kadamari Damase type thing. It's just too much shit

together. There's so much on it. This rolled over a bunch of office supplies in a playroom. There's too much fucking shit on me. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. There's too much shit on the alligator. I don't want to be around anymore. Yeah, totally. Another thing about the buildings that looks good is because there are actual buildings you know. It's sort of like how King Kong went up the Empire State building versus

I don't know. You go to one of these lesser cities across the country. You destroy one of those. Suddenly you're like, what, what, okay, they destroyed the best by this. They're number one thing. But it's nice to see these actual buildings

you know and love in Chicago. Here's a great example, right? When that T-Rex runs rampant in the third act of the Lost World Jurassic Park, I don't know, maybe it's stomping over some San Diego fucking landmarks, but nothing stuck out to me. Nothing looked like a landmark, no.

I mean, feel free. I mean, I also don't think they were filming that in San Diego. Right. Exactly. Yeah. Oh, no, they fucking got Sherry's shrimp shack. Oh, no. As bad it is to use this much scale, CGI. There's another version where this movie could exist, where it is shooting on the street in Toronto. Yeah, totally. And it looks like nothing. It looks, it looks, I can't tell you whether or not, and I think this actually was filmed in Georgia, because everything is. But

like, at the very least, it's a model rendering of Chicago. They get Chicago right for the most part in terms of actually make that look like Chicago. So the Rock and Naomi Harris steal a helicopter because they're like, we're the only people who know how to do this. We're going to go inside energy and get the antidote and stop all this chaos.

There's a part where the Rock threatens a military policeman that he's going to choke about and make him piss himself. Yes. In front of the lady. Yeah, you're going to piss in front of the lady. You don't want to do a thing like that. Oh, you don't have to piss.

I'll make you. I'll put pitch in your black Well this is This is where I do I agree with Eric I think Dwayne Johnson Is better than average in this movie Yeah

And some of it is with shit like this Where he does So of course he starts beating the shit Out of these two army guys Right And he's choking the guy And he's just like see see This is exactly what he didn't want to happen

See oh see And I'm like that's I was laughing at least That's funnier than he gets to be Because it's not like I feel like so much of shit Like in that fucking terrible jungle cruise movie, right?

That was the Riverboat movie. It's just a lot of like jokes because either he's dumb or other people think he's dumb. Yeah. And those are the jokes. And this is like as close as I feel he's gotten to like Willis-esque quips. Yeah. Parts here and there. They don't let him quip a lot in these movies. He says like, I'm going to say a big dumb thing that's going to make you believe in my bravery and it's also kind of entertaining. And like that's the line. Yeah. But it's never like, oh, that's fucking funny. Yeah. So he's like, he's always Captain Nice guy and it's nice to see him, you know, threaten a man's bladder or whatever. That's, I mean, that's a different is. I think like, Willis could do it because for whatever he is in Die Hard, he has a family. He's not a family man.

Yes. Whereas the Rock always has to be, with very few exceptions, a family man. And here he's not a family man. Well, this is like one of the few exceptions, but like skyscraper technically should be his diehard. And the whole problem is. is that it's his family and he can't shut the fuck up about his family and how sad he is that his family are kidnapped. Yeah, I mean,

at least Bruce Willis in that first movie like forgot about Holly every once in a house. It's just getting ready to kill them German terrorists. He'd get like one shot of her at one point and you're like, okay, yeah, he cares about her.

You can stop talking about it and shoot someone. Sure. But so Jeffrey Dean Morgan or Jeffrey Devereaux Morgan. Boregard is like, Well, that's my crawfish. Pardon me, I was late to the big rampage here.

A couple of Benier orders I had to put through. God, I was just hanging out with my good friend Emerald Lugosset. Wow, look at that monster knocked down that skyscraper. Bam, indeed, Emerald. Emerald, you got it. I got him on the phone right now. Emerald, you should see this. We could make so many alligator po-boys out of this man.

Oh, yeah, I already said, bam. I got it. Yeah, all right. This could solve world hunger. Oh, dude, you eat up this gator, man. Oh, my God. Gator's good eating. It is.

Absolutely. I like that. But he gives them, he lets them steal the helicopter. He's like, here's the satellite phone. Call me when you get there. We're working together. They get to the facility. They're looking around and immediately Malin Ackerman shoots the rock in the stomach.

Don't worry, folks. That means nothing for the rest of the movie. Oh, totally not. Like, this is, yeah, it's. It's him and Naomi Harris, like getting to the, Oh, they get caught. That's what it is. They're sneaking the antidote out.

And Malin Ackerman and Jake Lacey like come into the lab. And it's kind of an interesting, like, she doesn't even wait for any shit talking to happen. She's just like, oh, you're stealing my antidote? Blam. Yes. It's cool. It makes her like a little more edgy Malin Ackerman's villain character. The weirdest part, I would be trivia was going crazy about this because we'll talk about

about Malin Ackerman's death in a minute. but everyone's like, oh, you knew what was going to happen because she's wearing the red dress. And I'm like, what the fuck does that? Apparently the women in red dresses get eaten in the game, but I'm not a fucking psychopath. I'm going to let a woman wears a red dress. Even in the rampage movie,

I'm not making that connection. I was waiting for my fucking pepperoni pizza at Papa Gino's playing this game. I wasn't being like, oh, what's the girl in the red dress doing in there? What's she doing? because I think with some of, like you can eat most of the people in the game. Yeah, you can eat guys, gals. But some people, along with some things, like if you try to eat a toilet or a bathtub, they do the thing where like you put it in your mouth that chews it and then you spit.

I think some of the people can get spit out. Oh, really? Like if they have, if it's like a dude with a gun or something, maybe. You know what they should do is Ralph should eat one of those people and snowball it into Georgia's right? Oh, there we go. So maybe this, maybe I'm screwing up here, maybe Devereaux, maybe Jeffrey Dean Morgan, is there a character in the video game that says like, suck a tash or something? He pops up when some destruction happened.

Shuck a tash. Man, yeah, like it's the toasty guy, but he just a suck a dash. That would be great. Well, that must be him. It's just like Ralph. George eats Claire Whiden, who was wearing a red dress. In the games, you could eat women wearing red dresses for points in health. Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God. Wear the red dress. Oh, my God. I love eating women in red dresses. Oh, my God. I'm 43 years old. Oh, fuck, yeah. Red dress.

Oh, fuck, yeah. Oh, I'm fucking 15 years away from retiring for my job. I'm not talking about the TV on the radio song. I'm talking about this video game that nobody cares about. I mean, honestly, if you can't get it on the classics library or a remodified version, clearly nobody cares. I don't know. There's plenty of video games. I wish it could have played it.

It's a fun game, but, yeah, I did not pick up on the nuances that this film is. Oh, the red dress. Oh, my God, the red dress. The red red dress, yes. By the way, the antidote, they're like looking in a bunch of freezers and whatnot. And Naomi Harris is like, oh, it's going to say RPG on it. Like the case is going to say RPG And I was like, is Everyone's still with us

At the end of the Rampage movie? And then what happens? We got to get into the helicopter And it's got a crash. Right, right, right, right. But it's can't, we can't turn it on. Like we're going to glide the helicopter down. So, yeah, we're on the roof of the building.

Yes. The Rock is just like, oh man, that that bullet really didn't bother me. He's like, oh, it didn't hit any major organs. I'm cool. Every hero. Every hero now has to be half, like, field doctor and just like, oh, yeah, I went right through. Oh, yeah, I just put some peroxide on.

It'll be fine. The brother dies first, though, right? No, they kind of died to say, yeah, she dies first, actually. Really? So they're up in the helicopter. They're about to, oh, my God, we have one antidote left. We could give it to George. The George could fight the other monsters.

Because it won't, it's not going to shrink them. Yes, it just makes the normal. The rage part goes away. and this is when Claire comes Melanackerman's got a gun like, not so fast. You're coming with me and we're all going to get away and you're going to have to re-engineer the rampage syndrome.

Totally. I just let me put my red dress on. Yeah, she's fucking wearing it. She's fucking doing it. Oh my God, look at her. I could eat her. I did not see this coming. It's great. I thought it was awesome.

It was. Well, yeah, because you didn't know about the red dress, of course. I didn't know about the red dress. so the antidote goes into her purse and they throw her into his mouth basically. And he just gobbles her up. It's pretty fantastic. And

she's got a good like, oh, shit! Yeah. And then the rock digs out her skull out of the droppings and uses as an ashtray. Totally. Well, he's got to boil it a little bit like predator. You make sure there's nothing left on it. You know, all the fucking shit stains out.

That's a big pile of shit right there. Could you, uh, hey, Rock, if you're, if you're digging in there, can get that red dress. I don't think that monkey can digest the red dress. Yeah, I know it's covered in a monkey shit. I know everybody thinks Malin Ackerman's deathiness is a little intense. I'm just

echoing the death of the greatest villain of all time that lady assistant from Jurassic World. That was a good one too. She really got it. Could have used a red dress. But meanwhile, Jake Lacey is leaving from the lobby in the building and he's like, oh boy, you ran down all them stairs

pretty fast. It's me. Jeffrey Dean Morgan, ladies and gentlemen. It is this great, like, Lacey's, like, running out with a, with a briefcase in his hand or whatever, and he's like, now say I say, wouldn't you have yourself a big old laptop in there with a bunch of yomi information of me to take? And he's like, yeah, and he's like, all right, I'll make you a little deal. You give me the laptop and you can just run away. How's that sound? Yeah. Mighty good.

Excellent. And he just runs out, like, thanks, buddy. And get smushed by a part of this. building falling down and so good to this movie's credit we have blood splatter back on the door window that's a good one oh yes I was very fond of that and like yeah

it's it's a really good both of their deaths are good usually you're expecting only one to be good or you know what I mean somebody gets away they're both good deaths and this is where you'd expect the movie to end yeah the villains have been bested you would think this would be the end no no this is what yeah this is where the movie

starts to lose you because The building topples over. And I mean, like, and they do keep showing that there are people, because the evacuation could have, obviously wasn't going to be successful. It was like three minutes. Yeah. And it's fucking Chicago. Yeah.

So there are people. And like, meanwhile, Jeffrey Dean Morgan's like, you can't drop that bomb there. There's a lot of people down here. And Dino's down there. The Bears down there. The best sandwiches and the. Oh, Patillos allow you here. No one's going to bomb Portillo's on.

I watch you. And what happens to the Rock and Naomi Harris there get into the helicopter? And they kind of just crash it into the ground. And then they walk out afterwards

and say, I can't believe we survived that. It's something. Me neither. Like the helicopter has no like tail on it. And he's got some goof tacular line

where he's like, I'm going to start the top blade. So that'll keep us like kind of up in the air and we're just going to surf the rubble to the bottom. Steve, if you could. Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt. Yeah, dude, absolutely, both in the soundscape

and just for screenplay logic alerts. It's going down and don't make no sense at all. I mean, like, it's like, you're telling me, like, I'm watching this movie and like you're watching my little, my little level going here. It's like flat all the way through like, yep, and now that wolf bit the helicopter. Oh, no. Okay, yeah. And, oh, yeah, we're, oh, Malin Ackerman eaten by that ape.

That's crazy. But, you know, I'll buy it, whatever. A big radio tower that makes these monsters come to them. Absolutely fine. But, oh, what's that? You're going to surf a helicopter down a pile of debris. Dard, dart, dart, dart, dart, dart, dot. Oh, dude.

Boy, that's about as dumb as it gets. At that point, you should just get the little, the little Mario guy in the cloud to go down, pick him up and drop him back down. Oh, lock it two is going to do it, man. Because his Mario card is not on. Gotcha. Yep. It's not the wrong part of the course. But so like now, he gives, the rock gives the George sound language.

This is the problem, I think, too, because it's the rock. Again, if it wasn't, Matthew Broder is not the right person. Pick somebody. Usually is always the wrong person. Wyatt Russell. Yeah, Wyatt Russell or something, you know, just a regular, like, actiony hero, but that's not a real action hero that's just like there to be the doctor. A guy. Not a muscle-bound freak.

Because then it's like the rock has to get involved in the action. He gets a big gun and another big gun. And it's like he's not, doesn't matter. It's about the monsters fighting each other. Exactly. And that's where this movie, I mean, exactly what you're articulating. Because he's in it, the movie can't do that. So instead you get this.

All right, George, let's go. I've got a grenade launcher. It's like, what the fuck? And they fight this, the alligator thing. and then... The wolf gets dispatched pretty quickly. They trick it into biting the wolf's head off. Yeah, which is pretty cool.

Yeah, that thing getting its head bit off was pretty great. And I kind of looked away for a second and came back and I was like, wait a second. That thing gets its head bit off. Rewind. Oh, yes, it did. Rewind again. Within two minutes of the, oh, they fly now. They fly now.

Yeah. Yes. Oh, yeah. It's dispatched like right after that. But now it's like the invincible alligator guy. And this is when the movie gets really boring. because it is so invincible and nothing works. That happens like six times in nine to 12 minutes.

And you know what? No part of this alligator starts flashing to tell you which part to hit. I really don't appreciate it. I need to know where the arrows go. Thought this was a video game adaptation. Video game rules, dude, always attack the eyes. If you can, always attack the eyes. Also real life, too.

Oh, yeah. The best part to get someone. You break someone's eye out. They're done for the day, usually. Totally. the rock goes inside of an aircraft or a fucking you know whatever an air bomber

and it's like shooting the thing nothing happens there he throws a bunch of bombs and it's ear nothing happens oh well that's the great uh he chucks like he's got this grenade launcher and he shoots the grenades into it's got like gills at this point fish gills and it gets it right in there

and I was like oh that's actually kind of that's like that's a total video game thing like when its gills are open that's when you put the grenades in And I thought because this is a Dwayne Johnson movie, I was like, this is what's going to happen. Its fucking head is going to blow off and he's going to kill it. And he does it.

It actually survives that stunningly. It survives. There's just another perfectly placed helicopter. And he's like, oh, good, this hasn't been decimated. That doesn't work. But then yet here comes George with the pipe. Yeah. Through this thing's fucking eyeball.

Right. When all hope is almost lost. Oh, right. The rock's about to eat shit. The Rock's about to eat shit and curdle wrong head is going to drop the Moab on him no matter what but that he sees that the gorilla beats the thing and is now being

nice as a son of a bitch Oh I could be fired for this. No Moab please. And the Rock has some line about George because George is now thought to be dead Yes. And it's he's just like he saved my life and she's like

he saved a lot of people's lives. He absolutely did not. He killed so many people. people. He killed so many people. But like innocent people, like school kids he's stepping on him. People do not have their

oh boy, everyone's going to be crying a night because their daddy ain't coming home from work because George fucking farted on him. But it doesn't matter, Steve, because immediately after Naomi Harris said that to DJ, all DJ does is look around and he sees a little white girl

running with the arms of little white mother and he goes, he did. He did absolutely objection. That's, I, I want to hear, I want to hear the, the general be like, it's time, you know, this proves one thing for all. We got to stop listening to military men like me. Start listening to military men like the rock. That's right. And then, man, this last part, I was like, you can go fuck yourself.

What? this ape well George's died for sins here he's got like a spear through him but he doesn't even that's actually a good point but he doesn't even have the courtesy to wait fucking three days dude so it means

anything yeah he waits fucking three minutes and then it's like oh George is dead and the rocks feeling fucking sad about it and then it's like oh what's that did he just move did he George is that your pulse is that your giving the fucking finger oh the ape's given the

fucking finger George you twist it sense of humor. This is, I mean, we should play the Every Which Way But Luce song here, because that's kind of, it's a Clyde move. It is a Clyde move. Dude, all it needs is to open a fucking room temperature Coors banquet here. And then, the best part of the movie happens.

When he sees the two of them there together and he's asking the rock if they're friends with each other. Yeah. Yeah, we are. And then the ape starts doing the dick in a hole thing. Yeah. The old finger in the hole. Yeah. Oh, full

up a star for that alone. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. And meanwhile, the rock is like, Dert, Dert, Dert, Dert, Dert, Dert. No, we don't, we don't do that. George, we never do that. We never ever do that. Did you teach your ape that? You sick, fuck.

George, what did I say? We take care of ourselves. We take care of ourselves. No sex. We cannot be giving our essence to other people, George. George just started to jerking off in the middle of Chicago now. Absolutely. Let him do it.

Let him do it. He's taking care of himself. No, no, George, get it in the river. Get it in the river. Listen, that man saved so many lives today. He's earned this. I'm sorry.

It's like, chirk, chirk, chirk. Oh, that's actually true. Echoes through the city. Is there a logging company in here? No, it's a giant jerking off. They started reconstruction already?

Ah, yeah. So the movie really, really just ends. with the old finger in the whole There's a bunch of marshmallow on this street Oh my God, it's the same You just insert the same Willem Atherton shot Ghostbusters Absolutely

That's what should happen to fucking Jeffrey Dean Morgan Oh yes Oh, shuck attach Oh, splash My eyes, the goggles Do nothing He can't believe I'm going to drown

A monkey cub I just took nature gumbo to the face. Just like my grandpappy dying and monkey cuck. My grandpappy, you know what he used to say, you don't need no concrete if you got monkey cum.

You can put up a house and monkey come. That's true. That's actually true. Stunningly, this movie no fucking stingers or nothing. Shocked by it. I was, yeah. Very shocking. And that's another reason why we must support ramping.

Honestly, like, Dude, you're watching a movie that is concerned with just Rampage 1. Yeah, exactly. You could do worse. You know what? If Rampage 2 happened, which it won't, they could just pick up the ball.

Oh, no, another canister that nobody ever saw was there. Exactly. Whatever. That's it. We thought Marley Shelton brought back three. She actually brought back four. Now there's a big fucking poodle walk. Or George bites another gorilla and he turns to do a rampage.

Oh, sure. No, it's coming through the saliva, you see. Exactly. No, but that's, that's Rampage, the one and only so far. I don't know. I didn't look. Our 47, ladies and gentlemen. Not too shabby on that. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. I'll start us off here. I would recommend this movie. I stunningly had a lot of fun with it. It's stupid and it's violent. Combine those things. It's easier for me than most to have a good time. That's just

me. Chris Cabin. It's a light not recommend. I do appreciate the a stupid and violent. If it's going to be this stupid, I needed a lot more violent. How my equation goes. I do think this is a little bit more

digestible than most of Johnson's like extra stuff. Although like San Andreas, you got Paul Giamatti. He's there. There's little treats and Neb Campbell is in skyscraper. I have people like, this I got sack a task. And I'm like,

Naomi Harris is doing nothing. So it's fine. But like, I wasn't crazy about this, but it certainly did not put me off. Yeah. Eric Siska. Yeah, it's a light recommend for me. I think you're right about the violence. I mean, yes, Chris, I always want more violence. I don't think you're getting more violence in an American movie necessarily,

or at least a big fucking CGI rock movie. A man can dream. Yes. I mean, yes, yes, you have a dream. So an action scope such as this mixed with the violence and viscera of, say, like an art the clown motion picture, that's what you're going. for a terrifier level of gore? It looked like

we're all Shaw Brothers people here. The boxer's omen is what I'm really looking for. Or how about like a kaiju movie directed by S. Craig Zola? Oh, don't. Oh. That monster's got some iffy politics. Godzilla dragged across concrete.

Give me that tomorrow. Yeah. So, you know, it's a light recommend for me. I thought it was fun enough time. And the violence satiated my bloodlust at least. There you go. Adek. Yeah, it's a rampage movie. It's actually pretty okay for being a rampage movie. It's also now, like, I don't even know, I'd have to really do the math. Top five video game adaptation, maybe top two. I mean, like, it does all I wanted to do, not much less. I do think the rock is the

problem. I think anyone, he is charismatic, et cetera, et cetera. But like I said, like at the end of the movie, it has to satisfy the requirements of being a rock movie, which it shouldn't have to do. It should just satisfied being a Rampage movie, which it almost does pretty well. Oh, well, you know who you... You gotta bring in the old master. Hello, I'm Matthew Brodrick, here for Rampage 2, Ralph's Revenge.

Oh, yes. That is going to do it for this episode on Rampage, directed by Brad Payton. If you want more WeA movies, check out patreon.com slash we ate movies where, yes, we are coming to the end of April, but on that feed, We Love Movies episode all about the 1968 Planet of the Apes.

Excellent movie, excellent convo on an excellent episode. Also, by the way, for the next couple of days, you can still get our Moment House conversation on Peter Jackson's King Kong. Go to wh-HMpodcast.com slash tour for that info. That's right, yes. And the fun continues on Patreon as well in many regards. You know, the animation damnation. We did Donkey Kong Country, Leap Glossary.

we did WIC at the EWalk, the Nexus, which is our Star Trek show, which is normal programming, Melrode 2 and O, normal programming if you want to reprieve from ape-ness. Well, but there is a one last morsel of apeness. Once in a lifetime, we did SpyMade. That's right.

Starring an ape and Emma Roberts. And Richard Kine. And Richard Kine, of course. Yes, two apes and Emma Roberts. No, I love the man. But also, you know, if you're apes out, on that Patreon you have access to so much it's not just this month's offering you pledge you get everything months and months of content i think like thousands of hours we have the archive of

the first 100 or so episodes on there it's an embarrassment of riches and this week uh on that feed on the patreon feed is the final uh season three episode of the mandolorean half hour uh so you can go back and catch all that we recap the entire series there it's season. Well, technically the whole series, but this most recent season. Paul season of Obi-Wan Kenobi, we recapped and also Book of Boba Fed. That's right. All them there's Star Wars.

Ah, but on the main feed, even though April is coming to an end, the show rolls on next week, Steve, what are we talking about? You know, even though April has come to an end, I wish we were leaving the wilderness, but we're actually going further in next week. Join us next week as we travel to The Edge.

Speaking of Anthony Hopkins and that's right, Alec Baldwin. Oh, man, I cannot wait. That's, yes, speaking of fucking fist-fighting animals. So until next week, when we try to not go over the edge, I've been Andrew Jupin. Stephen Siddharic. Chris Cap. Take it easy.

That was a hate gum podcast.