We Hate Movies - S13 Ep671: The Edge (with author Brant MacDuff)

Episode Date: May 2, 2023

On this week’s episode, the gang welcomes friend of the show and author, Brant MacDuff to chat about the pursued-by-bear survivalist thriller, The Edge! How much of a genius is Anthony Hopkins supposed to here? Should you really be throwing an old man a surprise birthday party? And couldn’t someone have taken two minutes to at least eulogize that poor dead pilot? PLUS: A lengthy argument about what constitutes a “sexy sandwich.” Pick up a copy of Brant’s fascinating new book, “The Shotgun Conservationist,” out now from Timber Press! The Edge stars Anthony Hopkins, Alec Baldwin, Harold Perrineau, Elle Macpherson, L.Q. Jones, Kathleen Wilholte, Gordon Tootoosis, and Bart the Bear as The Bear; directed by Lee Tamahori. San Francisco & Los Angeles—tickets are on sale now for our upcoming spring shows! Check out the WHM Merch Store featuring new KONG, DILF Den, Grab-Ass & Cancer & SW Crispy Critters designs! Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

this week on the program get ready to kill a bear with your own two hands because on this episode we're talking the edge I'm Andrew Jupin Well I can do with anything to do

Stephen Sadek Eric Siska Chris the bear Up Say your name Ratch And we hate movies

Hello, everyone, welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in, as always. That's right. You heard up front. We have a special guest with us this week. A friend of the show, Brandt McDuff is here, author all around gathering.

about socialite and whatnot, but you are here, and it's programmatic synchronization, we'll call it here on We Hate Movies. You got a rad new book coming out or out, depending upon when this episode airs. But, Brent, tell us a little bit about why you're here talking about this rad book,

and we're talking about Lee Tomahorries, The Edge. Yes, his rad film. Oh, it's rad, baby. Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, edge-wise, I'm just a huge fan of The Ed. a fan of edging. Yeah, yeah.

All forms. The cutting edge. All forms of edging, all forms of bears. However you wish to define it. Sure. So just a big fan right out of the gate. It's America's pastime is edged.

It is. Edging two bears being edged by a bear. Yeah, got to hold on to that feeling. Edging, baseball. What else? Burgers. Pie eating contests. Yeah, yeah.

Generally, yeah. Let's move some books. So why are you? Your Pratt? Okay. So I just wrote a book. It is about wildlife economics, and it's all centered around hunting. The shotgun conservationist Yes, the title of the book is The Shotgun Conservationist Why Environmentalists

Should Love Hunting So I wanted to piss people off Immediately And you know, that's how you really get sales As people are like, oh, I do not want to read that book And then they buy it immediately Well, you got to buy it before you can burn it Exactly, exactly

Outrage culture, that's what we're tapping into Yep, so that was my strategy but because the book covers all kinds of topics as they relate back to hunting, I did want to have a section about media. So, and my favorite is movies. So I love movies. So there was initially a massive section on movies.

And I kept sending it into my editor, and she kept whittling it down and whittling it down. And so initially, I had, had, well, you guys know, that I asked the boys if I could interview them, and I got a big we hate movies interview for the book. And it was like two pages. I sent them, I sent them homework. They had to like read an essay. And then I questioned them for the homework. And I had this huge two-page interview and I sent it in

and it came back a little shorter a little shorter, a little shorter. Story of our lives. This is actually exactly how the Wall Street Journal interview. We had a giant interview with the Wall Street Journal and then it became one sentence. Anyway, go ahead.

The We hate movies guys said yes. To an interview we'll tell you nothing about. Anyway. This is, well, if you read the segment, that is exactly what happened to your interview in my book. And all I can imagine is my editor coming back and being like, well, you know, they

talk a lot about cinema and movie making. It's a little bit less about hunting. It's more about film theory. And I kept being like, yeah, but what about this other part? Can't we keep? And so I kept fighting and fighting for it. And all I can think is she's going home being like, he wants his little friends in the book, but give him a sentence so I can get him off my back or something. Brandt, I'm telling you what you should have done is you should have pitched him this way, say, we are hunting movies in the wild is what we are doing here on the show. You know, we're using all kinds of traps and guns. We have to find out where to rent this movie.

I mean, that's a hunting. Yes, there's all kinds of things. You've got to go out there. Interpretation. Yeah. So basically, I wanted to ask the guys about hunting in film. and it got whittled down to maybe two sentences and a mention of Steve only. But yes, which is great, because I've known neither the longest, that's the most important part.

But really quickly, what is like the elevator pitch for the book as a whole in terms of, you know, like, I'm an environmentalist. Why should I give a shit about hunting? My question. Sure. It's not asking people to like hunting or become hunters. Basically, the point is rethink it or lay off it because it actually does have these huge paybacks into the wildlife conservation economy.

And a lot of that is just because of habitat preservation. So even if when you get to the section where I talk about Africa, big game trophy hunting is actually really, really good for habitat conservation in Africa. Otherwise, those wild lands get converted to crop farming, animal grazing, some kind of development, mining. So you have to make habitat good for animals and it has to pay for it. So how much ivory can I take out of? Yeah, exactly.

Well, you know, read the book, pick up the book if you guys want to make some money. Well, I think it's actually kind of funny that your editor, not trash this person at all. I don't know anything about anything. She's fantastic. But I think what's interesting is that part of what you get. into you in the part that you know we're mentioned in a little bit and just talking about like media representation and whatnot you would think you know one of those ways to sort of get the message out you know that you're talking about the book and you know other people have the same

idea is through like major media outlets right so it's it's kind of interesting like if you can change you know like one of the biggest examples in in the book in that part is talking about bambi right and just how that moment in movies sort of changed a country's entire perception on what hunting, you know, is or is not, right? So you'd think that like through the studying of media

and discussing it, maybe we can sort of turn that a little bit to better representations of like hunting in media, which I don't think we have a turn of at the moment. Oh, well, as soon as Hollyweird can get on board. Well, it's all like movies.

Like, have you, Brandt, you talked about trophy. Have you seen the documentary trophy? Yes. Yeah, I thought that was a really striking movie where they actually talk about how like hard a question that thing is. Like it didn't just try to give you an easy way, this way or that way about it. But like otherwise, it's all like these like romantic indies where like William,

Willem Defoe is being paid like $500,000 to hunt a panther. Like, and it's a 90-minute movie of him just looking on a gun and then putting it down and then looking to a gun. Right. The last Tasmanian Tiger. Yes, yes. That one, God, man. Because there's a bunch of movies like that that just come out, and I feel like all of them

start Will and Defoe. I'm wrong. Yeah, I'm going hunting again. Jeff Fow. But I don't think he's ever done a most dangerous game thing. And this movie almost, this movie The Edge, almost becomes a most dangerous. We should be hunting

humans for sport. Well, that's my next book. Okay, good. I assume you've already watched Hard Target in preparation to get the foundation. Target. No,

I may, what was the, what was the, what's the other one I'm thinking of? Surviving the game. Yes. Yeah. Oh,

it's pretty much surviving the game, but John Claude Van Dam is in hard target. And John Wu directed it. It's a bit of an upgrade. Yeah. Yeah. For your next book. I mean,

I mean, how much methane does a human being make really? Eric. Sure. You know what I mean? Oh, so many. And there's eight billion of them. Yeah.

There's, listen, there's too many fucking people. And that, that's the title. of the next book. There's too many fucking people. Brent McDuff tells you how to change the world. I think that's the next book.

We could just have a conservation thing with people. You get a nice, like you put me in a habitat. You can hunt me once a year. Oh, look at the mighty Cisco. Right. You can try to kill me but otherwise I'm living pretty nice. No, I like this. Why not? It's better than buying a human at the store that you get from a factory farm. That sounds like

the time machine. What was the alloy and the Morlocks? The Morlocks. Yeah, yeah, totally. I can see you really thriving in that kind of situation, Eric. I've got the complexion of a Morlock, yes. Oh, yeah, totally. Not the same of the muscle mass situation. Yeah, definitely less of that.

If you knew you were going to get hunted once a year, you would spend that year getting really ready for that idea. Honestly, I think I'd be fucking happy. I think you would really thrive in that situation. Come and get me, motherfuckers! All right, so to kind of like maybe swoop into the movie a little bit here, something that has nothing to do with the topic of hunting or conservation at all, but something that I found totally wild,

was seeing that there's a movie like this that opens with the big deal 20th century Fox logo because this is 97 this movie's coming out. It's before big studios started making art shingles. Like, this is 100% a fucking Fox Searchlight or a Paramount Vantage or a Warner's Independent kind of movie. But because, like, the business had not shifted to that yet, you have all these gigando movie stars

in a movie that's really just two of them and then Harold Perrinow and of course, Bart the Bear that would definitely be under a smaller arm. But all this to say, you do not expect this movie to start with Brum, bum, bum, and the fucking... Oh, Star Wars is starting. I saw this movie in theaters. No, did you really?

Absolutely. I think I might have too, actually. It was the late 90s and I was going to the movie. Oh, yeah, everybody. I had nothing else going on. And it was like, specifically like man movies or like cool man. David Manette. David Manette.

And I think I was like, oh, cool, Alec Baldwin had a Beechter fighting a bear. And I was right. That's the bigger thing. That's the thing that comes with this movie is that Anthony Hopkins at the time was a genre. Yeah. He was still riding the Science of the Lamb train, I think, throughout this whole. Because does anybody remember that awful instinct? Yes.

Oh my sweet Jesus. They allowed that to be released by a major studio. And he played a bear in that, right? He was. He was a wild man. Yeah, he was a trapped animal in a cage. People Gooding Jr., I think, is the doctor. Yes, yes, I think so.

Eric, you've seen this in theaters. Brant, did you see this in theaters? No, I did not. I had the VHS, and when we talked about doing this movie, I mean, I said, I don't even need to rewatch it. But I do, but I do. I watched it again on my same VHS that I had when I was a kid. Well, this is exciting. You're going to critique it for us, and you tell us how to kill the bear better, right?

What they should have done. Wait till we get there. I have got so much to say about that. We should say that this movie, yes, indeed, written by David Mamet, which you don't expect to happen. And then something that happens a little more, but you don't expect it so much nowadays. Directed by Lee Tomahorri, you did Once We Were Warriors, a great fucking movie, but then Mohollen Falls, which is a lot of Come came with Spider, stay tuned. Die another day, already did an episode on

Triple X, State of the Union, stay tuned. And a hardcore stay tuned, a movie in where Nicholas Cage plays a magician next. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Next gets requested all the time. And it's not very good. No, no, no, it's not in theaters.

This is one of his better movies, perhaps. Yeah, but the vast majority of this fellow's fucking filmography either is an episode, will be an episode, or is being turn to an episode right now. Thank you for your service. What movies, what separates this movie

and I think is why it's what it was better ones. I think the setting is so great. I think, like, honestly, like, I love all the wildlife photography. Yes. Oh, yeah. It does look really gorgeous. Like, it holds up in that old 90s.

It's definitely on film, obviously. It's pre-digital and all that stuff. And then we have, there's a lot of what I've just been calling Lord of the Rings walking in this movie. Oh, yeah. We are stepping out in the fucking shire in this movie, man, walking.

And it looks beautiful. Alaska. That's like America Shire. That's right. Is that where this is supposed to be? Okay. All right. I missed that.

This was filmed like entirely in Canada. Carnada. It looks beautiful. I mean, I'll give them that. I mean, Canada, Alaska. We're going to split hairs here. Same dip. So yeah.

So Anthony Hopkins plays this billionaire dip shit who's like, I guess you got to pay your friends to come out for your big old man birthday party in the middle of the not. Not even your friends. your wife's photography your wife's friends no no I think he's tagging law yeah he's just so happens

to be his birthday yes that's weird you're going to be in Alaska I'm not going to get fucked in Alaska so I'll be going as well I think that's kind of what's going Oh I see Oh sure

By the way great David Mamet writing here He gets with the opening shot It's like you know We're seeing this little This little wild life area They're going to be staying this lodge We're really establishing it They get off the plane

and he gets on the tarmac and this like this grease monkey working the other planes is like man would I love to get a piece of that lady and he's like what lady it's like that plain lady

the challenger there it's just it's too much he says it's a $20 million aircraft and I'm like you know what if you really give a shit about planes you're saying oh it's got twin Rolls Royce engines or something you're not saying it's $20 million

that guy was crying for different different reasons on 9-11. But the best part is he goes, some other guys are like, oh, Charles, this is for you, this is whatever his name is Charles Mills. Morse. Morse, there you go, Charles Morse. Charles Morse, there you go, Charles Morse, the billionaire?

Yep. That's who you are? Yes. My favorite life. But this is, I mean, it's so funny because, like, why would this fucking grease monkey give a shit? But to your point about him, Hopkins coming off of Lecter,

he kind of has a little bit of a lecture hiss right here because the dude is like, oh, yeah, like the billionaire is that who you are he's like yeah he doesn't believe that he still even though this happened and even though it's the strangest thing that he does not believe that he was talking about the plane

like he's still suspicious after it it's so funny that like so much of this movie hinges on him being suspicious of people wanting to fuck his wife yes well he's right I guess and your wife is L. McPherson right you know there's a little bit of a suspicion

there yeah what do we do You're very encouraged. Yeah. You know the deal. You're just a fucking bagger wrinkles with money. Jesse, yeah, let her have her fun. Jesus Christ. He doesn't want to admit it, man.

You can have fun too. Here's the thing is that the problem with having David Mamet do that is that this guy is supposed to be like a world titan. He's supposed to be able to like walk. I think he owns a bank he says at some point. And like he is supposed to be walking into all these rooms and just having people like swarm him in like, oh my God, this man is just too much. You want to S that D, dude.

And what we actually give from him, the show of charm is like, hey, did you know that you can make a carburetor at a lap happy? Yeah, yeah, I inherited all this money. Did you know you could make celery sticks out of carrot sticks? Did you know that? Fire from ice, Mr. Baldwin. Ask me how you do that.

Constantly like little fat, like it's like an old man who went on Wikipedia and just won't stop talking about what he read about. I love printing out the internet. The original title of this movie was the bookworm. Of course. After it was done, they were like, we need a better title for anyone to go see this movie. Of course. I'm a bookworm.

I read books. Like, I don't know. Even Bear a tank. It's terrible, but closer to the movie. Now, Brandt, can you use an ice cube to make fire through the lens of the sun or whatever the fuck is explanation? You know, that what I haven't done it yet? Yeah, I'm not going to comment on it, but I have never. ever done it.

Got it. Well, soon we will drop you into the wild and we'll be seeing how you do. It's a kind of like wild boys. Oh, my God, that'd be great. Great arm for the show. They should do more exploration. What's that?

We should do more exploration like that. Oh, yeah. Challenges of looking into things. Yeah, some challenges of feet. Outside podcasting. Outdoor podcast. I like this idea. I don't know.

That sounds kind of not as impressive as you think it makes. We just pull a generator out into the middle of the words and be like, oh, we're just going to talk. It's actually going to be pretty quiet. Battery powered fucking Zoom. Well, there you go. And you can all hear the wind that's making it on listening.

That's the benefit. It sounds like shit. Fantastic. So he's got something about like, yeah, we're going to do whatever we're going to do. And then we'll be back in New York at 8 p.m.

I think Baldwin says because we got to turn over some pictures I got to take. This is crazy. They're coming from New York City to like, you know, outside of Anchorage. And going back

in 24 hours? That's a miserable... That's not even possible. It's like 10 hours to get there at least. Yeah. Like, not even from the cocaine in the world. Only by gunpoint would you get me on this plan for this... But I guess he's so...

I mean, and that's the... They don't actually... There's like two scenes with L. McPherson and Anthony Hopkins and they're not very good because... Too, too many. Half of them feature L. McPherson. Yeah. Right, yeah. But, who by the way, the same year,

Batman and Robin and Robin, this is her big, am I an actress year at the world? said no. Who was she in Batman and Robin? She was his girlfriend. She was Batman's girlfriend who's like, stop being Batman. He's like,

maybe, maybe not. What if I, what if I just keep doing that? Yeah. How about that? How about if I keep doing the Batman? Batman's girlfriend's a good gig.

Honestly. A hard gig if you can get it. It's a temp gig. You're not even getting health insurance. Well, you want to be the flirt. You want to be a Chase Meridian, really.

You're keeping him as an option and you're not like fully letting in, even though by the end, of course, they ruin her. like obsessed with him. Oh, thank you. You're a beautiful woman, but I'm going to hang out

with this other leather, rubber clad young man, and we're going to clean up the streets, young lady. I have to talk to Two-Face. Not you, beautiful woman. So, you know, whatever. We're out of this, like, gorgeous lodge. I mean, this is a primo piece.

If you have to, like, spend less than 10 hours in Alaska, I guess you want to do it in this huge place. And, you know, we're going along and Baldwin, I think it is. he's the guy who spots the photograph of the indigenous fella and it's what's his face

who's LQ Jones. El Q Jones the director of a boy and his dog absolutely astounding motion picture. Yeah, that is a mistake. And he just recently passed RIP, Farinad. He was totally Farinid. RIP. Great actor.

Fantastic presence. It's very important to note that around here it's when Anthony Hopkins also notices Alec Baldwin's watch and we make this big deal about like there's two time zones so that when I'm in L.A. I don't have to add three. Isn't that fucking funny? Aren't I

charming in this movie? He's supposed to be like a New Yorker like a New York Society type photography. He's a co-comat fashion. Yeah, exactly. He's got a friend's haircut in this movie which is really something. Like a baron-an-na-na- Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. You got just the upward swoop, which was the style at the time.

This is kind of like, and I don't have the timeline specifically. This, because it's coming out in 97, feels like we are towards the end of this look of Alec Baldwin because we

still have the narrow face it's pretty fat it's not long okay so it's pre fat I'm trying to be nice about it but Steve goes right

to pre fat I mean he sort of had the upward swoop even in 30 rock kind of yes yeah a little bit yeah it's longer and combed down

this is a little bit more of an upspike I think the Elaine Venice right here and I think the fat is a misnomer he got thick yes

that's he thickened His whole body thick and you love a nice one. That's what happened. He just like, it just like, it got, and it got tighter. Like, he got muscled. But it's just like everywhere at the same time. Like, you look at him in like, you know. Beetle juice is skinny as a rail.

Beetle juice or like married to the mob or whatever. Yeah. Blue, what the fuck is? Miami Blues. Miami Blues. Yeah. Like those movies, he's all just like a very much smaller, but there's less of a person there. Yes.

And like, what he became later is a combo of like, dowing this, but also built like a brick shithouse out of nowhere. The Daniel Baldwin gene took effect and it just sort of started taking now you're as old as I am. Because I think it's either this year or I think it's next year actually he does

he's the hot boyfriend in Notting Hill that she's leaving for Hugh Grant. I think that's the last call for him as like the hot guy. I mean people still find him attractive shit out. Yes, they do. It's just a different dude. That's all. It's a different

non- Beetlejuice dude. We all get thicker. It's mostly muscle. As everyone will get to tell, don't touch me, but it is. Should point out, because my notes pointed it out around here, which means the on-screen credit came up. Score by Jerry Goldsmith, which I said recently, he is my fave film composer.

And this rules. I was not aware that he had done the music for this movie. I saw this like once or twice before. The first time was serious. like VHS back in college days or maybe high school. This is a rocking fucking score for this movie. It's like, and you could have a thing where it's, you have like a small-ish kind of movie like this and the score's way too big for what it is.

But this score feels big, but isn't too big for the movie. It does a week's score. It goes into, it knows how to handle some quieter scenes because a lot of this is, as you said, it's just like men walking around in the wilderness.

Right. There's like this long, long like dolly in of that like Alec Baldwin and Anthony Hopkins just like holding each other for what feels like two or three minutes after something big that we will get to. Oh yes. The pullout shot

yes absolutely. There's a cool shot in the so like basically like everyone's like yeah he whatever this guy leaked Hugh LQ Jones he tries to like sell him on that's the next that's the next day which is an amazing way too soon but like he's like

the paddle. He impresses him with his whole paddle knowledge, he's like, Christ. First of all, I had a real problem with this lodge keeper. And now you're going to hear about it. He's way to like down home country. And like that is not Alaska. No. You need

like grizzled Alaskan. Right. Not like, you know, he has that like a duck on a Jew, boy. And it's like, that is not it. My dude. People in Alaska are like, the fuck is a Junebug. What are you talking about? You can smell the lower 48.

all over this day. But anyway, yeah, you can go back to the... But yeah, the whole thing is just sort of like, oh, you know, blah, blah, blah. It's... You know, Al McPherson is like, oh, Charles knows everything. And he's like, oh, really? Does he ever know everything? Do he hot in you?

I fetched myself a bookworm. You might title this story after me, bookworm. I'm a worm, you see, a bookworm. I worm two books. I like to dig through them like an apple. You know, you come in here with your cheap cologne and your scarred face. Looks like you got in a fight with a bear or something in your cheap shoes. I will say what I think is interesting about the Al Q Jones performance to me at least is that he does seem like someone like when the real estate thing does happen, it does kind of reveal that like that the steel, because he feels like he is putting on like a tough guy bravado for like Alec Baldwin and Harold Perano.

They both feel like they're like, oh my God, this guy is. like masculinity personified and everything. But as soon as money touches him, he crumbles. Like, it's just a facade. Like, once he thinks there's an opportunity there, it becomes this like, just please, could you give me money? Please, could you just give me money? Sorry, I need to go back to this.

I'm going to be your most pedantic. Love it. No, please. When he's talking about the paddle and he's trying to, he's like, now what's on the other side of this paddle? And he's like, you know, there's like the black panther on one side and the rabbit smoking pipe. And then he says it's an old Cree Indian thing.

It's like there is no North American Indian tribe that would have accidentally come upon a black panther. We are talking about like the Cree Indians live in Canada and Panthers, which are just like melanistic. Well, Brent, maybe they got hunted. Now that the only ones left are in Asia We got rid of them in all of North America Do the Bering Strait

Ever ever hear of that guy I could go bookworm on you too dude But they did see a lot of rabbit smoking pipes Yeah that's legit that definitely happened That's legit I do you guys look at the other side What's the other side of that panel It says Alpha Omega for the back

Thank you sir A couple of wavy lines The rabbit's smoking the pipe And why is the rabbit smoking the pipe? Because he's smarter than the panda Just like me actually What's on the other side of that pipe? Well, it's a rabbit smoking that loud stuff

He's really, he's chiefing He's going forward He's getting gassed up tonight He's ready for it And it's because he, why? Because he's stoned It's not because he's smart He's just stoned

Yeah, I don't know about like smarter than the panther But he's like way more relaxed And probably doesn't have a headache But otherwise, Is the rabbit also a rich banker? The fact that at the end he's like, I'm the rabbit, don't you understand?

I'm just like, shut the fuck up. The way that this movie is revealed that once he gets into the woods and does literally everything right every single time anything comes upon him. Except make that compass the first time. That fucking idiot,

it is like it was written by Charles Morris. You know what I mean? Like, David Mammett was a pen name for this guy. And it's like, how fucking smart I am. And at the end, when he, you know, spoiler alert, at the end, when he has a dramatic line, he was like, they saved my life. It's like, yeah, that's a beautiful thing for respect for blah, blah, blah, these dudes who died next to you. But it's more like, no one would ever believe his version of the, so we went in the woods, you see.

And then I did this right. Then I did this right. And everyone's like, let's do it wrong. And I'm like, no, I'm going to do it right. And this guy was a fucking idiot. The guy that the bearer, absolute moron. You just listen to me. I would have been able to fix it.

So they go upstairs. I was expecting a full-on... By the way, we have to talk about Anthony Hopkins dyed eyebrows in this film. They were distracting. Why can't we just let Anthony Hopkins be Anthony Hopkins? Is it the point that he's an older man anyway?

I guess billionaires have their vanity, right? Jeff Bozo has to go to the gym or whatever. Oh, yeah, that dude loves working out. For what and for whom I don't know. To make his arms look like his head. Well, and to probably... While naked, more like a penis. Oh, I see.

When naked, he would look more like an erection. Oh, so I stand very still with like my arms at my side and whatnot, totally covered in oil. It's like a big gigando shot kind of all. All the veins everywhere. It's just like, if you work out more, it's more pronounced. I'll get to you in two days or less, absolutely. Well, what I meant about is biceps. Shut up.

Now what? It's spitting milk. That's wonderful. Isn't it, though? His bald head is like, he's like a cone. head guy, right? It looks like cone head. A little bit of a cone head arc on that guy.

And he's trying to make his biceps look like cones as well. Oh, I see. Absolutely. All canonical. It looks like a polygod. It looks like a golden I-64 character. Really? Dude, maybe he's going to just look like fucking Dr. Joke. That is the ultimate

body goal for that guy. But Ella McPherson, they're not having sex. It's like, oh, I love you so much. And he's like, you know, my secretary had caught me this awesome book because it's the very special day. And she's like, yeah, whatever. Could you go make me a sandwich? And here's always the thing.

It's much like in movies when somebody's like, hey, let's order Chinese food. Someone's like, hey, can you make me a sandwich? I'm having a 20 minute. I'm saying yes. I'm getting 20 minutes. What do you want? What is this sandwich? What is we talking about?

You're in this weird lodge in the middle of nowhere. Oh, yeah, I'll just step up. I'll go get a sandwich. That means you have to talk to this weird old guy, maybe wake him up. He says it's like, yeah, it's open, go whenever you want to. Make a sandwich whenever you want to. the sandwich bar. Be clear, there's only one kind of sandwich.

It's a ham sandwich. We don't really carry anything else. It looks like we're putting together a like tomato and cheese and mayonnaise sandwich when you can get the fuck out of America with that that nonsense sandwich. Also like what an unsexy thing. Like I get this is all, spoiler alert for the next two

seconds. A prank because what? Sandwiches can be sexy. Yeah, I guess so. But like, it's all a ruse to get them downstairs. for a surprise birthday party. What she really wants is a sandwich with Alec Baldwin and...

Well, she wants a sex sandwich, right? And I, you know... If anything, she'd be like, why don't you go downstairs? Maybe a glass of wine, mate. Me, Australian, L. McPherson in this movie? Oh, I didn't know that. Oh, crikey, yeah.

Oh, great. But a... Just make me a sandwich. Nothing with onions. I'll get the farts. Like, just like, come on. It's not even a sexy... That's the problem.

It is, there are a sexy sandwiches out there. Pastrami, please. Tongue. All right, so what is the sexy? I mean, we're talking like a, like maybe a, uh, an arugula with, I'm trying to start with a ruggler. I can't even believe this. Something with hot peppers.

That's a sexy sandwich. Yeah, it's spicy. What is the fucking thesis of the sandwich cabby? You don't start with hot peppers. I'm sorry. I'm not a theatician of sandwiches. To make it sexy, you got to be, it's got to be fresh hunted meat, right, Brian? Yes.

That'll help. That'll help. But I feel like the, yeah, is the sam, are we looking at the sandwich? as sexy or the best sandwich for sexy time because that's you know if you're putting hot peppers on a sandwich that is not a sexy time

well yeah you shouldn't be making it then because then you have to have gloves yeah and all like if orals off the table you put hot peppers on your sandwich like yeah with the pepper spice transfer to the woman or whoever when you're I think that's that's the point

of concern man and then you have to have like a you gotta have like a glass of milk on the bedside table. It would be like a little little spicy tingle. I see. You can't go from sandwich play into milk play. It's just, it's too little like feces.

We're writing an episode of Seinfeld. I'm just curious what I mean, yeah, like I don't even know, like a light turkey. We're talking like a little, the hot pepper thing for a guy like Hopkins, it might work out in that,

in the very way you're talking about because it's like, I can't because I had hot pepper. Oh, I can't do. But you, you can do it. You can do it all the time. Finger sandwiches. Like, did people ever fuck during tea time? Oh, I'm sure.

With the cucumber and butter. 4 p.m. fucking. The original Netflix and chill, Eric, that's how that worked. Yeah, they were doing a dirt... 4 p.m. hot tea and fuck fiasco, yeah. Dirty right rimies right out here. Tea and plea. I don't know. Tea and plea. Yeah.

For sex. I don't know. I bet that started as a sex thing. The world's were like, it's our sex and food break. I like the finger sandwich. I think I think we're talking like a turkey, like maybe some like radishes. a nice light mustard kind of a thing like a nice refreshing

kind of thing if he got a sense of humor well yeah that would be nice to get the press down good for sex tourism yeah I think so oh come on

god damn that was the last thing that our friend David charity date for sure yeah before he ate himself yeah like one sexy sandwich and your finest

leather belt please extra cilantro all right the point is there was no sandwich there was never a sandwich that was intended to be eating. It was a fake sandwich. A sandwich fake out because we got

something I cannot sanction a fucking surprise party for anyone over the age of 10. In the middle of the night, this poor old man. Dude, he's lucky he didn't get startled. Anybody see the beginning of Get Shorty? Come on now. They did. They were trying to kill him. That's right. Al McPherson. This proves that the end of the movie we're not sure. El McPherson was in on it. I go downstairs. You're going to get madden. I don't want to shame

you drop dead But the movie It's hilarious because the movie Because you know It's a bear movie It's going on And like you know LQ Jones real like

Make sure you You always cover your food Especially big hams That I'm going to be leaving out And make sure you do that Because the bears will smell To come in And blah blah

And you want to This is a question I have for you brand Is the Is the if you see a bear Just like casually walk away His bear safety talk when everyone comes in. I can feel the anger emanating.

No, his bear talk is pretty legit. It depends on the type of bear. If you're on the eastern seaboard and you're talking about black bear, those guys are basically like big raccoons at this point. I used to chase them out of my driveway growing up.

I stumbled upon one once as a child walking through the woods, and it was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. It was sleeping. And I was walking through the woods Started chucking rocks out of it? No, I just came across and it was like, that ain't good. It fucking went back the other way.

It kind of stirred a little bit, but I was like, I am not fucking with this in. Yeah, well, that's a different scenario. If you startle a sleeping bear in the woods versus one that's rooting around in your trash can. But, yeah, if you're in Alaska, I mean, you're talking about brown bears, grizzly bears. So all brown bears are grizzly bears.

Oh, fuck. See, now we're learning stuff. Yeah, that's right. Now we're getting, it's my time to shine. Because this is, we're coming off of our April where we didn't know fucking monkeys from chimps to whatever else. So we're starting fresh year learning about bears. Yes. So you say shoot on sight is what you're saying.

You see a grisly. Not unless you have a bear tag. There's a season. There's a fucking permit. Right. And you're not, you're certainly not using, you're certainly not using like a, a friggin, like drop. Bear pit But his

Home Alone antics That they get into Deadfall or whatever Deadfall I'm gonna put out these Christmas ornaments For this bear Oh

Alec Baldwin Now we're gonna watch This old movie And make sure That the bear Things where There's a bunch of Gangsters in here

Oh my God I can't believe It worked That bear slipped On those micro machines You even got The Bear to deliver us pizza You scared it off

For the movie I made my parents Disappeared Oh yeah That's, yeah, there we go. I watch all those movies. Look, Brett, I just need more trivia facts like this, the Grizzly Brown thing, because, like, I have a local trivia at a brewery on me, and the amount of time I'm bombing at this thing.

You might as well call me Carlos the jackal. How many fair questions are you getting? I'm just preparing. It's never immediate, like, you get like maybe one or two movie and music stuff. And then it's mostly like history. which, of course, my wife's a few nails. Yeah, you're useless on that. Absolutely cannot be helped on that.

But, like, science stuff and, and, like, nature stuff, it does come up. You're also bad at that. I am terrible at that. I can put up a tent. That's about it. But so, yeah, you're saying you can just... You can just say, I'm walking backwards, bear. We're cool buddies.

Is that how that works? Yeah, you have to be chill. You definitely do not want to run. Bear will absolutely outrun you any kind of bear. It does not run Anthony Hopkins in this space. I cannot wait. The whole reason I'm here is just for that one moment.

I can't believe I'm not running this bad with my medium-speed jaw guy. He's a rich guy. He might have had like the bionic woman surgery. Oh, totally, dude. We can rebuild him faster, stronger, metalwork. Yeah, okay. And he would, at the time,

he would, Anthony Hopkins would be number one on the list of people who would get those kinds of surgeries. But it's true. But we got power. We got a fake out here because we're, you know, it's 1997, you're watching the movie. You know, it's a bear movie. And then Alec Baldwin is wearing a bear costume.

Oh, right. What is a bear? It's got a bear rug. It's got a bear rug. Yeah. But there's a bear. There is a bear sound. When he opens the door, there is a growl. I don't know where it comes from. You know where it may have come from? The mouth of Frank Welker. I didn't check to see if Welker had any fucking voice credits on this movie. I thought it was Elle McPherson's

tummy. Waiting for that sandwich. I never got that sexy sandwich, dude. Oh, shit, you're right. What's it? Are you telling me that sandwich was a lie? you just got me down here to surprise me I made this sandwich with a knife

we're getting divorced and here's the thing too if I'm making a sandwich and like I'm going downstairs for my wife I'm like I'm doing a lot of yelter yeah they don't got it

so yeah we're looking at tomatoes mayonnaise I'm waking up everybody yeah you want to make sure everybody knows you're putting in the work yeah

you want to make it make it sound like you're in a fucking like actual factory if I'm talking to Elbeck first now that I'm positive

they don't We also have like some like scare fake outs like I think there's like a door open at one point because it's like it's 40 minutes till we see the bear so we got to have something I guess the idea. That is 40 long minutes until Bart the Bear

shows up. I need maybe a little like Bart the Bear like we're doing our party and then like what's Bart the Bear up to? Oh I would love to know you know because he's like a fully realized character in this movie. He's a man girl. Let's see him like on its first like I have a scream opening kind of Oh, yeah, like he's eating some kids or something? Yes.

Like, what's your favorite yogi bear episode? Just like I recently watched Prophecy by John Frankenheimer. Oh, yeah. What actually turned into the South Bar joke about man bear pig is that creature. Oh, right. And there's a big, weird opening kill in that with some dog death. But I, that is, it was funny because I was watching outdoorsy movies this week just in getting to this movie. To build yourself up to see that, did you check out the Great Outdoors as well?

Oh, yeah. Where the bears actually get on the car and like started pushing on the car. What do you think of that one, Brand? Love it. Love it. Get that original VHS too. Why don't you find yourself a spin cycle? I just wonder about, you know, finding other animals in the wild like the raccoons in the

great outdoors that could be subtitled for our benefit. So when you stumble across them in the wild, it's like, you know, they roar at you, but it's a subtitle like, hey, man, it's cool. I just, I got diarrhea. leave me alone right now. Like life is a rat race for them too. Like so show Bart the bear like oh God another day of this you know. Yeah. Got to go down to the river

and find salmon. I looked by the way. Bart the bear, the entertainer that he was died in like 2000s of Bart the bear no idea about 9-11. He might have lived longer. He had cancer. Wow. How the fuck does a bear get cancer? Only a good day, yeah. Did he sire any like children? Was there

a Bart the second? There is a Bart Jr. It's not his bear, but it's a brother and sister Grizzly went to Doug after they couldn't find the mother. So Bart wasn't the dad, he was just the dad who stepped up.

He was just the dad who stepped up. Step bear. It's kind of weird because we have this dumb little surprise party. One of the friends here or people hangers on is Catherine Wilhelm from like witch board

and a thousand other things and various sporting roles. She's in like 14 seconds of it. It's well it's good. It's just her and Harold Parano who's man, dead meat of the highest order. And then just some other guy.

And it's like, oh, we're going to hang out. You're going to have to have like, sorry, it's my husband's birthday. We're going to have to do like a weird like kind of a six and a half minute surprise party. But then we'll all go to bed. It's going to be weird. I'm going to pretend that I need a

sandwich. He's going to go down and make it. And so Elek need you to put on the bear rug. That'll be funny. Harold need you to leave the door open. That'll be scary. Catherine, nothing to do. You just stand back and laugh, darling. Do that realistic growl you do. Exactly. That's the one. Perfect. Yeah, they'll think that's a bear. Excellent. Now, LQ, I want you to just laugh at any of his little facts. He's going to have a lot of little facts. And he's going to want to tell you about them. So it's like, oh, you didn't forget my birthday after all. She gives him a pocket watch with an inscription. Like, the only man I ever love, you're the best.

Thank you for the billions of dollars. I hope you don't die. Pretty generic. Like, if you're trying to cover up, you're fucking banging some other fella, you know. Maybe not as like Hallmark Cardi. Maybe a little more personal. It's a very, like, to my most darling, thank you for everything. The thank you that Hopkins gives to both her and to

Baldwin, I think is the most legit thank you I've ever seen in a moot. Look at his eyes and he is so genuine. The way he looks there and he says, this is the most wonderful gift. Thank you. I have legitimately

received friends gifts from people who I love and I have never been that sincere saying thank you to them. The way he says it is next level and you're like, you didn't have to be that good for This moment in this movie.

He can't turn it off. No. And, Brad, it's because you see, the rabbit has to be ready for these things. He's smarter than everybody. He's also stoned out of the gourd. But he is prepared for these situations and he has to be. It is funny when he gets the knife to, he acts like he's holding a scaliber. Yeah.

It's cute. Like, he's like a little kid. He's really happy to have it. We've got some, like, silly little, like, we're playing knifie quartery. Whatever this, like, someone gives you a knife, you got to give him a quarter. That's a legit thing. It's a, it's a, it's a, it's, it's, it's, um, it originally, he says it's like a superstition, like the way he says it, it makes it sound like it's some, again, like, yeah, some down home country thing, but it's a, it's a, it's an Asian tradition. If you give someone a knife, they have to sort of pay you for it.

So you give them a coin or a dollar. And that way you've paid for it. It wasn't a gift. Otherwise, it will sever your friendship. Kind of interesting, uh, how this movie manages to, you know, just to, you know, um, just to, dumb that eloquent tradition down so much of the part you just got to give him a quarter

it's like a can of soda you have to fit in another wonderful line like did you know a cantalup can also be a raccoon he is just that dude that you do not want to hear shit yeah it's just an answer for everything did you hear about yeah I fucking heard about it dude

enough already you know the history channel all day long and he's just going to tell you about it you know the ancient hope he shut the fuck up about the ancient hobie. I do not care. I'm tired of it. Did you know that this hotel was built on ancient Indian? Shut the fuck up, dude. No one cares. The next morning

maybe Anthony Hopkins and Ellen McPherson had sex. Who knows? Definitely not. It doesn't seem like it's the right situation. It seems like everyone could hear everything. Look, if I get spooked by your more handsome friend wearing a bearskin rug, I'm not up for intercourse that night.

I'm just putting it out there. So she's a model. She's very sexy. on the water here and we're doing sexy Pocahontas yes I'm indigenous chic heap and a half whatever this fucking outfit is

good God no thank you and Baldwin's photographer I was just gonna say I really it dawned on me later but I really have to know what this photo shoot is for

because you know so Baldwin is our fancy schmancy fashion photographer and we've got this you know 90s fancy fancy photo shoot going on but then

he so easily wants the other guy to be the model and I'm like what are we set? And he's making a thing about the shoes I'm like are we putting the high heels on the guy to sell the shoes? What is this photo shoot for? I get the feeling it's like a two paneler where like you're going to have LFerson on one in this

like Coachella fucking get up and then on the other you're going to have the serious guy with the shoes and like it's just I mean it's the sex sells 90s you have to have a model and then you eventually get over to like, I guess well, no, I mean, then eventually it's like

Johnny Depp doing like Oh God, fucking perfume. La Tigre or whatever the fucking shit he's doing. Savage. Yeah, Savage. It's like, the tiger's a band. Yeah, that's right.

But he's like, you know, none of this is authentic. I need this guy. I want this guy. Jack Crow and he's pointing out and he's like, well, he's only 20 miles up a road. But this is when LQ goes up to Hopkins when they're watching. He's a beautiful place, isn't it?

He's like, yeah, it really, it truly is. And he's like, well, for just $30 to $40 million, he shoots his shot too early, is I know? Yep, absolutely. You want to just like, can I just get your email? That's the one. You'd be friend, be friendly with him, then get the email. You want to wait until he comes back from nearly dying from a bear.

Don't you want to burn these woods? And you know, it's kind of interesting, right? Because you know, whatever, we're jumping all over. But the last like sequence of the movie, Spardle or Lord, he gets back, fine. or alive at least. I totally expected, because this is like, it's a days-long

Anthony Hopkins getting visited by three ghosts in a way. And so like when he gets back, he looks at LQ Jones and I was like, here it goes, here's where he's going to be like, and now you're a $40 million for your piece of shit resort or whatever, I'm going to help this small man make this enterprise.

No, no. I'm just going to stare at that guy and then fucking go inside. Nope, I'm ready to do it. This will be the first Jurassic World. We'll put the lapisarses over here. Anthony Hopkins, let me try to sell you on this. It's another business I got. So one lakeside real estate resort and lodge in Alaska. Also, mining for amber in South America and Central America.

We're going to find all sorts of dino DNA, whichever one you all, baby. This is a mosquito in amber. Now, just imagine, you see how beautiful these woods are? Imagine a T-Rex tearing through them. Just stomping his little feet through your woods, stepping on trees and such. Now, if we recreated dinosaurs, it would be ethical to hunt them because... You, I mean, of all the things you'd have to fucking keep in check population-wise, absolutely. I think that's...

I don't understand. This is why, you know, the people in Jurassic World Dominion, especially, needed your book, Brandt, because how is it? You fuck it up that much that dinosaurs are ruling the world again. It's true. You need to train real hunters to go out there that know what they're fucking... doing. Right. That was the only problem with that. Not more

Chris Prats who know there. Get those dinoes off the streets. Get those clone girls off the streets. We can't have those running rough shot across the fields. I hate those more you know, that's what we should be really hunting. Clone girls, yeah. Absolutely. Or clone whoever's that's we should have cloning. If you make

a clone of yourself, then you should be able to do whatever. Right. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. I've been saying that for years. You know, let's get a good 69 going. You know what I'm saying? You could do anything with them? it's your clone. Would that end space time in some way?

Oh, little time cops in area. Like, oh, same matter can't come in its own mouth. Are you sure about that? We'll test it. Ron Silver's got it.

But so he, like, it's kind of like one of these things when you're at a party and then someone's like, hey, you want to go on a beer run? And like,

that's always a dicey proposition when you're like, the fifth one in the car. You don't really need me to go with you guys. But here's the problem. Because you can see both sides of it, right? At least with the beer run scenario,

maybe not so much fun this indigenous to take his picture scenario. But with the beer run, right? It's at least like, yeah, I'm going to miss a lot of the party. But when I come back, I'm going to be a fucking hero. Sure. You know, so that's like what you have to weigh if you're going to be this fifth guy in the beer run.

How valuable, you know, is this photograph? Yeah, yeah, for sure. That's when, yeah, Baldwin's trying to like wrap up the photo shoot and get going. and he's making this he's making all this stink about the shoes and the shoes aren't shiny enough and he's got Hopkins is like

you know the inside of a banana peel a little shine shoes and you get you get the tiniest little bit of Jack Donegie when he gives this look he like takes a beat and he looks around and then he looks at the other guy and he's like

I didn't know you did you know what he's got a and he goes up on this rant That's brilliant, lemon. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Who would have thought? But that appeals. It's great.

Yeah, and so, like, hey, we're going to go on an adventure, Charles. He calls him Charles 340 times. More, apparently. Oh, my God. I mean, it is like, it becomes a thing where he starts using it at the end of every sentence at one part of the movie where it's like, you think we're going to get out of this, hey, Charles? Like, the set, like, he ends every sentence with, hey, Charles? Charles? Do you want to go? Charles?

Charles? Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. And he's just telling him like and he's constantly checking in with him. I'm wiping now, Childs. I'll be back to you. It does feel like a movie thing where people are saying people's names way more than ever happens. But I think this movie, I don't think I've ever seen it as bad as it is in this movie. I've never heard someone's name. I have never said the names of my friends in real life as many times as are uttered. in this movie Hey man, hey dude, hey brother

Yeah, how you doing? Like there's a whole There's so many other I never, this is a mammoth thing This is just very clearly He doesn't wag the dog too Yeah I think he even does it in Hannibal

Like which he did work on by the way Oh really? Is that right? Yeah, the Ridley Scott Handel He did that as well And like command the door eh Yeah, yeah, we do like to say Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah

So they get Now let's all get into The rickettiest plane I've ever seen this launch pad McQuack poor shit that you could not pay me

for a billion dollars to get into even launch pad would be like I don't know Mr. McD the structural integrity of this plane

looks pretty terrible well we we forgot to mention before before they fly to the lodge you get a little like

you know Bob do you know what foreshadowing is and when they mention bird strikes Oh, yes, they do say, like, oh, you'll look out for those bird strike. It's a really bad Baldwin line, too, where, like, someone mentions bird strikes. And he goes, bird strikes?

What are bird strikes? Does anyone on this plane have the definition of a bird strike? And someone has to give it. Yeah. That's one of those, like, you know, people in corn fuck wherever might not know what you're talking about. But like, I don't know, man, you're in a plane, you're talking bird strike. Seems pretty straightforward as to what we're discussing. I mean, some context clues.

I'll be honest with a 14-year-old fact. kid from the Bronx needed some help with that. The fuck's a bird strike. The bird strike, what is that? Heck, no. That's right. Egg production has ceased. Well, Steve, it's like, you know, in where you come from, it's like when a plane takes

off, you know, there's like people like huck and beer bottles out and scare away the birds. So a bird strike doesn't happen. I think isn't a bird strike what happens in chicken run? Yeah, yes. I do believe they are doing a bird strike. Well, that's what happened in the. Sully.

Scyma's most famous bird strike. Oh, man. Beautiful. He probably saw this and he's like, I could do that. I could have lain that plane. I'd be fine. Oh, I thought you were talking about the birds saying, oh, that could have been me. No, Sully just in the theater, like at that age, she's probably like.

Sully Sullenberger. At like 38 or something, going to the movies and being like, oh, that idiot, I could have done it. Yeah, that wouldn't have now. Honey, watch it. One of these days, a bunch of birds are going to strike my plane and I'm going to land it safely on a river. Look, it's a fine movie. I don't want to get honest anything. He's a good performance.

It just doesn't make any sense. Do you think that's like, if you go to the movies with Sully Sullenberger, it's insufferable if there's an airplane. Oh, forget about it. Any pilot. Yeah, it's like, well, that wouldn't happen. Yeah, I know. It's fucking die hard, all right? Shut up.

Sullivan, I'm leaving you. And it's because you won't shut up about fucking flight. Why? You wouldn't have survived. You wouldn't have survived either. Whatever, Chris. He was drunk behind the wheel of that plane. but so like they go to Jack Hawk's place

he's got a note that says gone hunting on it hunting a bear or whatever so then like this is the beginning of Baldwin's weird I don't know if it's him oh no it's probably mammoth there's a lot of like weird like gay panicy stuff and he's like oh look he's hunting how butch yeah

I better take this note so no one will know where we're going I don't understand what that is I better take this with me it's a memento he's a collector He is a collector of notes

that tells people where they've been or where they're going There's another bit of foreshadowing It's a bear pen It's a catch bears It's a bearer

He gets us another little Jack Donagie It's a bear pen And then they take off again And they run into a billion birds It's pretty great strike You know decent sequence I have to say

It was awesome Not too shabby The pilot is just like Oh fuck It's amazing This pilot eats fucking shit in this movie man this guy

and no one cares no one gives a fuck which is really sad but like these birds are coming through this window pelting this dude in the face this plane goes down into a lake

and we have a really cool like they used an actual tank to film this all sequence very cool underwater shit uh Harold Perano like kind of getting stuck in the plane a little bit but this pilot

we are not making an effort to save this man whatsoever this dude just goes down with I don't know how any of them would have, you see that, like, the fuselage hit the water. Just looking at it, I was like, oh, you guys are toast. I got to be honest, man. For Harold Parano, I would rather drown in this lake than what you get. You just keep me in that lake.

Alba could be Davey Jones's locker tonight, man. Absolutely, man, because you come up from the water and you look around and it's like, all right, it's me, Harold Perronow, Anthony Hopkins and Alex Baldwin. And one's a rich fashion photographer. for the other one's fucking, oh, I'm fucked. I'm so fucked as me, Harold Perino, the only black guy in this adventure right now.

And when Hopkins gets him out of it, he's dead. Like, he's out. Like, he's gone. Oh, that's right. He's, like, out for the count. Yeah. But he just barely gets him out of there with the new pocket knife. Yes.

Damn in handy, didn't it? We should say, right before the hilarious bird strike, Hopkins turns to Baldwin and just goes, so, how are you planning on killing me? bird strike immediately, which is a great transition. This movie flirts are like Hitchcockian suspense, but it never bothers to follow through on that whatsoever. Well, that's like, I mean, what an interesting idea of what

Mamick could have done with that. But like, it's just this language he has that like erodes everything else to, at least for me with a lot of this stuff. And like, I understand a plane crash happened. If I survived this and it's Anthony Hopkins, Harold Parentho, and Alec Baldwin and get up there. Alec Baldwin, I would get my breath and be like, what the fuck was that killing?

Yeah, yeah. What the hell is that? Why do you think that? What the fuck is up with you, man? He was right. Exactly. But like, it's just immediately like,

survival. Let's just forget everything that happened. And we're just going to get hair, and parano's water out his lungs. Just murdering someone for their wife? There's other things out there. Wait until that, like, list grows a little bit and then maybe do the deed. Wait for him.

Watch noirs. Wait for him to pay you to kill her. Exactly. Sure. Oh, yep. That's how it goes. Get paid twice. Also, like, you're Alec Baldwin and she's El McPherson, and he's Anthony Hopkins.

Just wait it out. Yes, exactly. It's math. Yeah. Come on. You're fine. And, but so, like, now, Anthony Hopkins, because he's the world's greatest genius. or does CPR on Harold Peron, saves his life.

And it's like, well, how are we going to get out? It's like, well, I know everything about everything. That's going to be just fine. And he's like, you know, you can make a, which we also learned from his little book. I think he tells people earlier. Lost in the woods. Yeah, or you can do the,

you can do a compass with a mag, with a pin, and he used the paper clip, you know, and that's sort of something. You know, you can make hummus out of a radio. And it doesn't, it doesn't work. Even if they follow it, but, you know, they think it sounds. but it's not.

Which is also, I mean, I was reading this, it also makes sense like, just look where the sun is going. That's how you figure that out. It's kind of stunning that they never watched the sun once. Even me, fucking gorilla boy that knows nothing about survival.

Well, gorillas are good at survival. Yeah, well, I meant like just a fucking, like, big idiot. You know what I mean? Like, even I was like, hey man, why don't we look to the skies when the sun is out? Right, yeah.

Try, give that a shot. I think I could survive this, no problem. Oh, really? You'd all be fucking dead. Brand would be the only one alive. I'd be pretty good at it, I think. I think so. I think so.

Let him have this. Let him have it. Oh, yeah. We do get this hilarious close-up of his fucking little birthday gift book falling in the water. That's like, well, good thing he memorized all of it, I guess. Well, he's a bookworm. It's in the worms, brain, now. Can you give me that book?

I'm going to eat through it. I'm the bookworm. For sustenance, you understand. but it's like yeah we gotta go south it's gonna be this way and even I don't feel fucking south man speaking of bookworms I mean they should eat bugs at some point to survive

that would be an interesting thing they don't eat for most of the movie they only eat the bear when they eat the bear and they're not complaining about hunger at all they just you know they ate the pilot maybe oh I was so full I just don't understand how this whole sequence happens and the three of them get to shore

And, you know, yeah, we got to, maybe we're going to make a compass out of a leaf and a piece of metal, or maybe we're going to dig our own graves, whatever we're going to do. But what we're not going to do once at all is mention that pilot ever again. That dude is dead and he's instantly erased from this movie, erased from their memory. Plain to itself. Just get fucked, Jerry. But you know what we have to do is we do have to be a little homophobic, just not. make sure.

Oh, yeah. Get the pulse of the nation at the time. And, like, because they all get, they get Harold Peronow coughs up a bunch of water. And they're all up and they're like, so what are we going to do? And fucking Alec Baldwin says, there are feelings with this list that nearly drew. Well, he does, quote, unquote, gay voice like three to five times in this movie. It's just like go-to joke in this movie. And he does it multiple times.

It's at least five times. If the trivia is to be believed, he slips into this voice five times in this movie. So they're going. And, yeah, I think Alex... Well, this is when we find out he took the note. Oh, yes. That's pretty... For what reason?

Well, sometimes it's just... I get itchy fingers. I can't help but taking things off doors. I took the note, three rolls of toilet paper. And then I took your wife. I mean, nothing. I was hoping Jack Hawk would hold it in the ad that we're doing. I thought it wouldn't be a nifty thing.

You know, just throw something in there, give it a little character. I'm sorry. Okay, we're going to die. I'm sorry. $30 from his drawer took the cork out of his piggy bank and they're going and this is what he's like,

why would I want to kill you, Charles, why would I want to kill you, Charles? Charles, Charles. And he's like, Charles. For my wife of Charles. For my wife, of course. And it's like, whatever. They go, he's like, no, I don't want to kill you.

By the way, and this is sort of setting up with the movie is like, I need you to survive at this point. And I mean, like, if Hopkins is to be believed, apparently the script was better than the movie and was more of a character thing, not as much of an action movie. What's funny is, yeah, I saw that in the trivia that even Baldwin said that. It's like,

that director fucked it up. But I think that's, I mean, I kind of like that it's an action movie. You know what I mean? I can't see another version of this where it is like, the will of two men against each other, yada, yada. Well, I mean, that's what the trailer like, promised. That was more of what the trailer showed was them like, it was going to be a showdown

between these two men. Right. And that's not really what it is. at all. That very much doesn't happen. But also it is weird to me calling this an action movie because you have a plane crash and a bear fight. It's good. It's not that it's bad, but I don't

think it's enough to call it an action movie. It's a movie where we are doing a lot of walking, a lot of talking, and for a couple of scenes, we fight a bear. The survivalist thriller. They do try to when they're in the woods, it's like, okay, well, they have to work together

if they want to survive. And then as soon is they get to the canoe and the shack part, they're like, okay, now you can... Now it can be man versus man, not man versus bear. Right. I mean, we got the stuff out of the way that we want to like get people into the theater for

and now this is the movie that we wanted the whole time. I mean, you want to condense that first part then, if that's the case and expand the cabin. Precisely. I mean, because like, this is a two-hour movie and it's 40 minutes until you get to that bear. Yes. Something's got to give. This is a

100 minute movie. Bear with us. Eric Siska, you dog. That's why I'm here. That's why I'm here. I'm going to be quiet for the next 15 minutes again. That might be, I mean, to me, like, I don't know if I'm alone on this, but I did feel the time heavy duty in this movie.

Oh, yeah. I didn't really feel it that much. I understand what you're saying because it takes 40 minutes to get to the bear. But I feel like I was going down memory lane watching this. Okay. I was remembering. This is a cable. classic. This is an ass bag.

It's like, ooh, it's this part. Is this the part where Harold Peranoe cuts his whole leg off? Okay, I'm going to watch it. I was remembering happy times of watching television. To me, this is very similar to, I think, it Breedkins, the hunted. Where like everything about it.

Everything about it is way more promising than the actual movie when you sit down to watch it. It had a very deceptive trailer. I remember sitting in the theater being like the same what I signed. It sounds like most movies. Is the hunted in your book? Is it about, Do you have things about CIA hitmen that are actual hunters? I've never seen that one.

It's not good, but it's worth seeing. There's some parts of it that are good. You didn't, like, miss it for the book or anything. It's a watchable. I have not seen that one either, but I have seen the hunted from 95, I think, starring Christopher Laleigh. That's got ninjas in it. It does, indeed.

Is that the one where he's trying to get out of that jail that's kind of like the jail from Dark Night Rises? if there's ninjas in it I guess so I guess I don't particularly remember ninjas in that movie I think that's right he has to get out of like I was born in it kind of prison

oh no they've put me in the the pit prison I have to impress these ninjas it doesn't matter so he so like we're walking and are we ever yeah we're walking a long time and this is what I think we start

we do get the first bear sighting Yes, Baldwin does a really good, like, when they got to start running, really great. Bart the Bear is great. I love this droopy, lower lip. It's a real nice, pronounced. It's a choice. It's a good choice by Barton.

Well, the guy's got present. He does. You think that was like, Steve, you think that was like a J.R. Jim Ross situation? Yeah. We're talking with that group there. No, I think it was more of. I'm just glad that Steve's the only room.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's a wrestling thing. So the rest of you don't know how much of an asshole is. Yeah, I think it's more. of, uh, no, I think it's a, he's a bear and who cares. Exactly. Well, I mean, but this, I've rarely seen a bear with this kind of presence. You could put this guy up against Robert Mitchum and he would do.

He almost won an Oscar. Oh, really? Barth the Bear was nominated for an Oscar in his, uh, for his work in the bear. Oh, wow. Really? Was he up against like Jack Nicholson or was he up against like other hand out? Oh, I should have. I didn't look at who else. No, he, no, he presented.

The bear from the bears. Did you present it? He just, they don't nominate. No, he almost got the Oscars for Oscar. It was a difficult performance. If you've never seen the bear, you have to. It's gorgeous. It's like the idea of like, he almost won.

They go to Daniel DeLuis and he's got his hands tent to. Oh, like, Nicholson. Jimmy the Crow was probably another contender back of the day. That was a, oh, from, uh, it's a wonderful life. Yes, yes. But famous Crow actor. But Bart the Bear presented at the Academy Award. I think he almost won it.

I don't you remember it. He was up against a Steve. Evie who played bingo and bingo. Got it. Okay. Well, that was a tough year then. One of the Homeward Bound movies was out around, man. Probably. Oh, sure.

Bart the Bear passed on Homeward Bound. It's like, no, thank you. And then he passed. I've worked with that Golden Retriever before. I'm not doing it again. Both of those movies, I think, came out before this movie, though. Probably right. And so the way they get around it, there's like a tree that they make a bridge out of,

and, like, everyone's kind of crossing it. They walk across it standing. You can shimmy. Yes, of course. If you're doing that, you don't walk standing up on the law. To be clear, this is... It's not into the playground sandpit if you fall off. I also love how the two strapping young men, Harold Pernau, and Alec Baldwin are like,

we're going to go first. You go to an old man. Well, dude, I'm sorry. Listen, here's the deal. That's a thing. That's a thing, right? This is a rich piece of shit. Fuck this asshole.

You want to fucking fall off a waterfall. I don't care, you rich piece of shit. The people who have to work for a living, first. Yeah, but if I survive, if we all survive, then maybe I'm getting a little piece at the end. The presumption though is that he's going to have like a three-go situation. Yes.

You know, and as we see, LQ Jones gets the shaft at the end of this movie. Well, you're asking 40 mil. I think if I get Alec Ball, if I get him out of this situation, it's like, just a million dollars. That's nothing to you. It's literally nothing. I mean, honestly, like $40 million for a lodge renovation

in Alaska and like the 90s? What are you? The mafia? I don't know. Where's money going. What are you doing? If that lodge guy was serious, he would never want to develop that land. That is another reason. This guy is a phony baloney. That's true.

The charlatan. Hopkins goes under. They all go in the water to save him. And now we're all freezing and they make fire with a, what do you call it there? A flare. I've gone camping

with my wife now like once a year for like the last 10 years. At least 10 is how you make all flyers now? I can't make fire for shit I would die Even last time we were in Hawaii We did the camping in Hawaii

It was gorgeous, amazing We usually get like Dora flame logs To make fire We could just rub two parrots together in Hawaii But we couldn't buy it Did you know you can make fire by rubbing two parrots together You know what it's better than ice They couldn't find enough chemical compounds

To light on the beach Literally we're on the beach with firewood kindling we've got newspaper I have a fucking a bick lighter

with those long dudes oh what was the prize it just would not happen it did not happen the fucking fire was about to light you up I think that's just

a sign from nature that you should be dead it's true you should die next week the next day we went to the fucking whatever Hope Depot

and I got a Dura Flame log it's got it going put that in the bucolic splendor of Hawaii throw a fucking Dura flame in the beach

It is kind of funny how they get, well, I think it's like Hopkins mainly gets way good at building fire, like, too sweet. Because the first, it's like Baldwin's like, I have eight matches and that's it. Yeah. And he like tries to do it once and it doesn't work. And you're like, these dudes are going to be totally fucked. And then like from the next scene through the rest of the movie, he's just making fucking fires. Why not just make a fire, make it big, keep feeding it. You got the whole goddamn Alaska.

They went to sleep. They fell asleep, Eric, remember? They fell asleep. Because the whole thing is like that... Take shifts you three days! They give up on the notion of a signal fire like immediately like... Because they're in the wrong place.

That was the whole note thing. Like they're in the wrong spot. That does give them reason to move. Because otherwise, yeah, you should stay put, make your big fire and, you know, stay there. But now they've got a reason that they've got to move because no one knows where they are. It would be hilarious if like the whole time out of one's like,

well, they keep three matches for these Monticello as I have. I have three Monticellas left and I'd really like this motion. or any of this goes because we're just three and I'll be fine it relaxes me okay it relaxes me it's really what I need

he does a good job shivering oh yeah when he's opening the really good shivering totally there's a weird sequence here and I think it's like Mammitt

wants this exchange to be hilarious and it's not and also I think it's supposed to be funny some of we're doing a gay voice no we're doing a race thing oh good

this is an exchange where the we're talking about, like, we got to go fishing or whatever. And he says to Harold Perrono, like, I need you to make me a spear. Oh, right. And Harold Peronow gets very, like,

you know, he puffs his chest out like, what, you're asking me to make a spirit? Like, do you understand how fucked up that is. And he's like, yes,

make a spirit. Do as I say. And like, that's the end of it. And you're just like, but that's such a loaded fucking thing. And the movie or like the writing for the movie knows that it's a loaded thing,

but the movie doesn't play it as a loaded thing. It plays it as like a, I think, that's Mamet. That's Mamet's politics in kind of a crystal ball right there. Why can't you be laughing at that? I think he's definitely one of those, like, you can't be funny anymore types. I think that's definitely part of

his whole thing now. The dude was never fucking funny in the first place, but yeah, I can't be funny no more. The idea that like stuff like that is fucked up, but our survival is more important. Our bonds as masculine men is more important than all this race nonsense. Well, it's, yeah, it's fishing, try to catch a fish with the spear.

Instead, he just cuts his own leg off. I'm unclear how this occurs. This is the biggest bungle in Hollywood history. How did you do this to yourself? He goes, he's like, hey, make a spear. That happens. He goes to Alex Ball and he's like, oh, I see what you're doing. You're trying to just keep his mind off the tragedy we're in kind of thing.

Yeah, yeah, that's the idea. And like, oh, sure, if you say so, yes. Oh, no. And they run over to him. He says, like, what did I do? How did I do this? I don't know what you did. You almost cut your own leg off doing what pocket knife.

It is such a deep cut for this little pocket knife. I don't understand it. His pants are shattered. The only thing I could think of was maybe he was bracing the stick on his leg and shaving downward with the knife and somehow fucked that up and it just went straight into his thigh instead. And the second it hits, flesh, he kept going. He kept going, yeah. And it's just like, no, my pants aren't torn enough.

I can get in there more. I just, I mean, I could get. This, dude, it looks like a werewolf got it. Yeah, it is really open. They try to gloss over it as quickly as possible because they know they're like, okay, there's no way to justify this. So we've just got to like, deal with the trial. Oh, no, make it better.

They're not like, how did you do this? It's like, in my head, I'm just like, he found, like, a secret block of cabot. And he just didn't have a board to put it. it on, and just was putting it on his leg and like, I gotta have it. And it's slice open. The shop is cheddar.

Oh, yeah. I don't let anyone know about my white cheddar that I brought on this trip. Bored it for myself. Dude, that's survival shit. It's Vermont's best. It's only for me. No, you guys don't travel with cheese. I have cheese on me right now.

You got pocket cheese on you? Of course. I got pocket cheese on me. Wow. No wonder it smells. In case, this plane goes down, dude. It's just some Fremundit cheese. Is it Cabot or baby?

Bell, what are you doing now? Vermont, dude. Oh, nice. You are a monster. I love it. God damn. This is, yeah, I think somewhere around here is now where, like, Hopkins pause, it's like, we just have to walk south.

That's where we were supposed to be going, so we hit south and, you know. But the leg cut, he goes to Alec Baldwin, specifically, Anthony Hopkins has been right this entire movie. He's like, now bury this, which even, like, I'm not a bear expert, but I have a good idea why you would bury a bloody fucking rat in the woods and he does it because they're like they're like sitting around

a big fire like relaxing like oh it's going to be fine even though like Harold Parano if I'm not looking too good Baldwin's got a weird line here where he's like oh yes I don't know much about this wilderness it's not really the same thing as sniffing coke off a model's hip and I'm like

all right it's like that counts as characterization in this movie that's the kind of dude you are absolutely I guess So, like, it doesn't make any sense. But, like, the way he... I'm a big city, so-and-so, you see. The only thing that makes sense to me of how, what happens with this shirt is that he is

actually trying to get the bear to kill them for. Yes. Like, that is the only thing I can consider. The burying it would not have been good either. Probably not. You want to take that into the water and put some rocks under it so it stays under the water. Bears have an insanely good sense of smell.

They make a bloodhound sense of smell look like shit. Oh, well, it appears Anthony Hopkins didn't know everything. What a fucking idiot I will be the pedantic one on this goddamn podcast Well here's the thing I think that Alex Baldwin had it Had a deal with the bear

Like listen You kill him You'll give you three million For killing my friend here All right One million fish Okay Chris cross you kill my guy

I kill my guy I kill 30 birds Deal Or it's like You know like Bart the bear is like yeah totally we can do a criss-cross I'll kill you guys here but the guy I need you to kill

is a bear in a Russian circus and you were going to need to get on an airplane because a real nasty fucker they just feed him fucking raw beef and vodka I mean I would love if the bear assassination was successful and he took out Harold Peronaut and Anthony Hopkins and then 10 years now

he Alipaldives down in New Orleans and like the bear comes in like Gandalfini Oh yes another shot please and who am I killing children but so the bear comes and it really demolishes poor Harold Perrinow

it is brutal dude and I thought I had my fill of this dude screaming on Lost no sir I forgot how much he's screaming in this movie we gotta we got a puppet for a second but honestly it's a quick way to go it might be a not too damn

better than spending four more days with Alec Baldwin. Chris, I watched the movie. Of course. He's taken care of pretty quick. I know he took care of his leg first. He helped start the process. Definitely when he stopped screaming, he's definitely dead. I'm sure of that, of course.

He's not feeling anything. Well, there's a, his head is being in, like, swallowed by the bear pretty much. But once you, you know, you get to that point of pain where pain is meaning. Sure. Sure. You're in shot. Yeah.

So it's, you know, it's, what do we still know what's going on. It's like the horror of it all. Yeah, I'd be like, oh my God. Bear is eating me to death. What's wrong with that? Well, this is for you, Steve, it would be like, you know, wow, I've come a long way from the Bronx. This is being consumed by this bear in Alaska, not too shabby. I got out of the burrow.

There's worse ways to die. That's all I'm saying. I don't know, man. I just, I could not help but think about our good friend Werner Herzlach at this point. You must not watch The Edge. It is a terrifying film. You hear the screams of Harold. paranoid. This son of a bitch

David Mammoth wrote it. You would not believe this motherfucker. He just talks out his ass all the time. His race politics are abysmal. So now they're like, and by the way, to your point, the pilot, we're not talking about, we're not talking about Steve no more. Which is insane.

It's not like, oh man, Steve. Steve had a, I knew Steve for 20 years. I can't believe it. I'm so horrified about hearing my best friend die. No. Just, I mean, I get like, yeah, survival is key, but even as we're walking copiously, we could be like, yeah, that really sucks for Steve.

Yeah, totally. I can still smell his blood in there, can you? There was a really great moment at the tail end of the death scene where, like, Anthony Hopkins has a torch lit up and he's been like swatting or whatever. And like, as the screams kind of dissipate, you just see Hopkins in this one shot. He takes like another, like, one last, like,

meek swing and then he's like, ah, fuck it, the bear won this one. It's just like kind of totally like, accepts what's I mean but he's again a really nice guy because Baldwin's gone I would loneliest planet

any of you motherfuckers for a bear I would be gone just running away oh yeah I would just like to watch you try to pull me in front of you that's quite the image

you don't have to be the fastest one running away from a bear you just have to be faster than your friends exactly I have cheese in one pocket and marbles at the other the marbles are for everyone else

to fall as I escape I eat my cheese You are set in home alone traps again. Absolutely. But so now they're just walking and they're like, well, this is when they start to try and hunt. And I mean like, they rob the, what do you call the Gilligan's Island effects of the traps that Hopkins makes? This like squirrel trap is like, it's like a $90 squirrel trap to buy an R-E-I.

You know, it's a West Elms squirrel trap. It's just like all the, it's like perfectly like grid. I mean, so you're saying the next time, the next time I walk into an R. I go up to the attendant. The attendant is going to say, how can I help you? And I can say, point me toward your finest squirrel. Please. That's happening.

It's a little key. It's a nice looking little box that he puts together with these branches. But what's funny is like it is also placed on a just a tree branch or like a log, like a basement tree or whatever where like when the box falls down. it's not, you know, it's wider than the branch. So the squirrel can just, it's just going to jump down. I don't understand that would be hilarious if that actually happened. Like, the squirrel just like jumps off.

It's really stupid. I think like you needed to place this trap better, but they fail at doing that. And I mean, it doesn't matter because this is when they, I mean, they capture a squirrel, but then the first helicopter flies over. And then what happens to the squirrel? Do they go back for the squirrel? Do they just let them starve in there? I would take it, I'd be like, I would, if I was on set, I'd be like, no, Anthony Hopkins should shout back.

Get the squire! We're eating good tonight. It doesn't take long to break one of their necks if you get a good hold of. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, just real quick. Just do it all the time in the backyard. And again, it's been like at least two to three days. They have not, I have not seen them eaten.

Like, again, we're not, low, we're not foraging berries or anything like that. Like, well, maybe Stephen. Maybe, again, yeah, I think Bart had most of Stephen. Oh, yeah, totally. We're going back for leftovers. But this is when, yeah, the helicopter goes, this is when Baldwin goes into the only time this movie talks about wealth at all. And it's like, the only thing that you can't.

Because he turns on Hopkins for a second. He'll only thing that pisses you off is taxes and Jews. Yeah, what, he says to him about, what puts you off Jews and taxes? And I was like, where did that come from? That's David Mamet. That's right there. But that is about 57 minutes too late to introduce a character saying that, who has not had that kind of

mindset the whole time. But I mean, again, like, I think that this, I think they'd be they kind of, like, later on, like, even Baldwin, like, I could have made my fortune out here. So it's kind of like, there is in a version of this movie where it is about class. Right. It's upper class versus billionaire class.

It's like, new money versus old money. Yeah. Sort of, yeah. I can get from it. But, like, I'm like, I don't give a shit about Alec Baldwin whatsoever in this movie. I'm waiting for him to die. Right. He's a villain. He's a full-on villain. Like, Anthony Hopkins walks on

water because he's a billionaire. I don't even feel like hatred to him though. Like the villainy thing doesn't even work to me. I don't really care. Like I'm just like, well,

this is just happening. You're watching two assholes survive the wilderness. Sure. And the will, it's compelling. Great title. It's better than bookworm,

at least. But so like, they, you know, this is when, this is actually the part was like, did I get fire from ice? Did I get fire from ice?

Ugh. Listen to me. Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, listen to me. Fire from ice. Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob. Bob, I don't care. It's Rob, you son of a bitch.

We still have the matches, and that's all we'll need. He just sort of walks off, and I was like, I don't know. You could use a fish pole, fucking gun of some kind, maybe. There's plenty of things you can, you could need more Bob, maybe. Bob, did you get a Bob? Did you know you could turn a matchstick into a meatball? It's easy. We're going to eat good tonight.

Just like a senile McGuiver That's all he does He's a stupid bucket back I mean he does one right here Where it's like now it's time to go fishing Any like fashions a lure Out of like the pocket watch

The gold line is something Like it's gold It's what everyone's The whole world craves it Even the fish in this lake crave gold I would like A toasty like thing of gold member Like gold

but yeah and then he's got like a little part of his like sweaters breaking off and he gets that to make the line and we're trying to fish for a little bit he's about to he's about to succeed because he's a fucking genius but then the bear comes and this is another this is what anthony hopkins does outrun a bear yeah absolutely but where was alec Baldwin while he's I think he's building a fishing he's building a camp fire another the camp for the night I'll get through the fishing you build a camp I will only accept this him beating the bear is when he's done if his knees are actually smoking. Like there's big like clouds of black smoke coming off of them. Cartoon Looney Tunes. His shoes are totally flat. The ride of tread. That's it. I will not take anything else. I think

around here is one of the greatest visibility points because we have some phenomenal like stunt double shots in this movie. Including right here like he's doing the fishing and the bear's like how's it going and he starts running away and the stunt double like Anthony

Hopkins stunt double in this movie looks almost exactly like Tommy Chong and I can't think of a worse like dupe for Anthony Hopkins. It's not a great match and then like basically they outrun the bear and they start putting fire. He's a

man killer. Now the snakes are raised because it chased you again and it's like not only is there a bear this is a bear that loves murdering human beings you see. Well that's I laughed for about three minutes when they earlier on are like that's a Kodiak there. Once it eats one

person, it just eats all people and I'm just like, oh, I wonder if that's coming into play. Brandt, bear ruling, what do we think? Oh, God. First of what, like, man eater is not a thing. Anytime there's like an animal that's killing or eating people, it's usually like,

they have a, their tooth hurts. Like, that's usually the answer. Oh, man, I know when I have a toothache, man, I just want to assume human flesh. Yeah, you're just going on a homicidal Yeah, I kill tons of people. Because I can't afford dental insurance. You know what? I got to kill people.

Sorry, America. Yeah. So that like anything that's like man eater related is all is all buckets. And certainly like, oh, when it eats one. And I was like, well, where's the it ate one person and now there's just the vampire? Yeah.

To your point, Steve from earlier, it's like if you had that cold scream opening about some hiker being eaten by the door. And then you see developing that taste. oh shit, this is actually good. You know what's kind of fucked up, dude? Great point. And when your movie's missing that, but the movie Cocaine Bear has that exactly.

Huge problemo. Yeah, not good. That's true. That's true. But they have like a ring of fire that they've erected and they realize. My bear went into a burning ring fire. I wish we had a fucking shot of this movie. Bear jumping over the fire ring.

It would be for gallious. be great. This is the sea that this whole sequence into the next makes the least sense of everything. So they're in this circle of fire. They've thrown all these torches everywhere and the bear is like circling them. And I think it's

Anthony Hopkins is like, he's circling us and he's going to wait us out until we stop the death until we try to get out and he's going to eat us. And then it cuts to the next day when they're fine and out and walking. There is some bad editing in this movie. And that happens a couple

of times, Chris. I mean, I think that is kind of the most what are we doing? Yeah. It's like, you're like, you are going to die and actually, no, actually. There's a couple of times where it's like, how are we going to get through this? Well, then the sun came up and I guess nobody gave a shit and they got through it. The bear is a vampire

alien's track. The bear is a vampire, dude. Well, no, they probably cut the whole, the big monologue that Anthony Hopkins had that David Mamet wrote where he talks about his history in the Mossad or so. And you want to die immediately.

You want to chase these guys away? But this is when the movie gets so wacky. It's like we have to look. You know, Bob is freaking out because he's an idiot. And Charles is like, no, I'm a genius. We're going to get through this. I'm going to kill the motherfucker. Now say it with me, you're going to kill the bear.

You're going to be okay. The fucking song. You're going to be okay. But I don't know if it's like wilderness, madness, or if the movie wants us to believe it's like, the bear, reading our thoughts. And I'm like, wait a second. Hold on.

It's been checking us the whole time. That's a bit much. That wasn't the bear. That was an astral projection of the bear. You know what that was? That was Grace Starling. She's in a bear suit. She's coming for me finally.

There is the great like, we're going to kill him. And it fades to black. Yes. And I am generally not a fan of the artificial commercial commercial break. Sure. In a movie. This like kind of cuts like the pace right when it needs to. It's a really interesting.

transition. As it started fading out, I was like, this isn't going to work. And then it worked. I was really surprised. And they started making predator traps for it. Oh, yeah. This is my least favorite movie trope of all time is when we need to get blood for some

purpose and we cut the palm of our hand or our thumb or our fingers. And it's like these are the most important things you have. You are really going to need your hands, your palm, your hand. You've got blood in your calf, you've got blood

almost every part of your body has some accessible blood in it. The ass I don't know. The ass blood is so easy. You don't even have to ask for it sometimes. Are you honest? You want some ass blood, dude. You get fucking four really flaming hot barbecow and tacos. I'll give you some fucking ass blood.

Don't worry about it. No, squeeze it. Squeeze it out. That's how you do it. But I mean, no, you're totally right yet. Now, if I got a paper cut, I'm down for a couple of days. Oh, dude. I'm calling in to work with paper cuts. Sorry to tell you.

Because I can't use my fingies. I need those. Oh, when I draw it, he goes so deep on his thumb. It's brutal. I mean, I think it's like, because that's the easiest way to photograph it. Like, how great would it be in the movie where we're, like, really relying on, like, legitimate, you know, survival techniques. Of your arm. Yes.

Anything. All right. I'm going to go. If you want this bear here, soon, we're going to use ass blood. You understand. It's a very kind of blood. Did you know that a Codiac bear actually loves ass blood more than any kind of blood that's ever been known to man?

And actually, if you get enough ass blood, you can get a low, a low Wi-Fi signal. Did you know that? They love ass-blad and commoda dragons. You know, you can fashion a bunch of ass blood into a vacuum cleaner if you play a concert, right? Oh, that guy really isn't no at all. He deserves to be a billionaire.

Get him on Jeopardy. He would just rake up. But they, I mean, like, they find so many, like trees and like just firm like logs to fashion all these spears. Oh yeah, dude. It's pretty great. They do they do a full on predator that big thing. It's a boulder with a road. We don't see them making this fucking thing. This is so. The big the spiky ball. The spiky ball, dude.

Oh, boy. Yeah. I don't know. Last scene and what's that the Simpsons where Marge is like substitute teaching? Oh, that's a log that comes down. Yeah. Yeah. I think they do that in predator. Doesn't he get him? He does. They're lying like tree mace. that's just got sharpened spikes coming out of all parts. I do love that they fuck it up, though. Well, that's, I mean, this is, we're going to do the whole clinic here. They fucking try to get this bear.

They're just like, come on, just wait for it. We're just going to back him up into this fucking trap. And they wait until he just hits the X. And they're just like, do it. Do it now. That's the best way. And I'm like, first of all, you didn't put a picnic basket there. First problem.

You're right. You're totally right. Number two, you have to wait till the midsection gets there, motherfucker. Come on. Yeah, it's, it's a... You get him in the snout. Like, what was I? A nosebleed?

Oh, whoops. It's a Codiac bear, man. But we are fighting this bear, and it is a huge standoff. A lot of spears were held. A lot of running, too. Oh, well, you got to run, dude. The whole scenario is exactly that, um, that scene in Wayne's world when Garth is like, um, first we get the bear to chase us

and then we outrun the bear and then we get to a series of booby traps that we have preset and we nail every single one of them in order and then we get to the end where we've sharpened our bear spike we get the bear to rear up exactly where we put the bear spike

and then we prop up the bear spike and then he falls on it and then we live It's almost too easy. Oh, bummer, we died. Let's see the ending where we killed the bear. Yeah, exactly. Scooby-Doo ending, the bear.

It was LQ Jones the whole thought. He was doing a real estate deal, dude. You know what, man? That's kind of awesome. And holy shit, if that was the end of this movie. Imagine like Co-current cuts to him, like, feeding bears human flesh. Get a taste for it. Get a taste for it.

Go get him. Go get them, Barry. Should a do. still don't want to do that real estate deal. I will say, I do think they should play ballroom blitz over this fair fight. Oh, hell yes.

The old-fashioned version. Get it going. Yeah. You cut back to Elmcphiris and just watching the, why you want to break my. Why you want to break my? She's got a big boa constrictor around her. Oh, yeah.

You better call Frankie Sharp. Sharp, Sharp, Spear Records. You know, that old billionaire was really, informative. Why is Rob Lowe subbing in for me as a photographer here? Also would have worked. But yeah, so like all of that actually, what Brett just said, actually happens. Yes. It is kind of great. I do

like, I do like watching this bear meet its fucking end, though. It's pretty awesome. It's nice. Yeah. I'm just like trying to get on top of Anthony Hopkins, which not even his wife wants to do it. And then he falls on the spear, which is never a wreck when his wife is around.

Well, you had a Ciala Spear, dude. Oh, shit. And they got the idea from the other side of the cigar box that was the note on the... Oh, yeah. He shows him, but he does it. This is how it's going to work. It's going to work like this. I may have lost my survival guide at the bottom of that lake.

But thankfully, that note about that guy being back after hunting was also written on a page from a survival book. Excellent. I also love, like, Anthony Hopkins, this bear is just laying on him. And there is, like, a moment of, like, oh, shit, this old man's. it's clearly dead. It's like, oh, I need a vacation. It's like, no, dude, you're dead. Like that bear weighs 2,000 pounds and you're an old man.

Yeah, there's that moment where you think he might be dead. And Alec Baldwin's like, say, oh, two assholes with the same spear. There is a great, we haven't pointed out a lot. But Alec Baldwin has to do a lot of, like, yelling in this movie. Yes. And when he is yelling in this movie specifically, that Long Island accent is just flying out of this dude's maw. Well, he's stalking us. Yeah, but there's a great, because it's something

Well, you mentioned the mind reading thing and one of the lines, it's like, it's like, it's reading the mind, Charles, which is fucking crazy. But then when he goes, like, we're fighting with this bear or whatever, and Alec Baldwin just goes, hit him in the neck, Charles.

It's great. And also the, what one man could do, another can do. Remember that guy? That's very true. What one man can do, another can do! But so they killed a bear.

And then they go to Mark Jacobs to make these. bear outfits that are fucking insane. They are awesome. I was like, we're at the post apocalypse now. Dude, this is a real fucking scenes deleted situation. Like, where was the scene where it's like, we're stitching up some of this

hide here? We got to clear it before the maggots get to it, into the wild style. I want to see, I mean, frankly, you know, and we can bring this back to you, buddy. But would you like to know how accurate it is? Well, no, because I'm saying there's smoke coming out of his ears

right now. No, listen, because like, I have seen, you know, my father's a hunter, and so I've seen deer skinned quite a bit in my day. And I know that there's like, there's a bit to it. You can't just like go fucking pull this thing's hide off or whatever. So like, it's kind of interesting that like here we are no, you know, I mean, the survival shit's sure, but like there's a difference between like survival skills and like knowing how to dress an animal like, you know, cutting it down and everything. So, like, what I mean, what are we doing? I know it's

not accurate, but like, how fucking infuriating is this? Yeah, it's a lot. It would not be, uh, it would not be something you're just getting done in the afternoon. Because they're also eating, they're eating. Now, the eating part, like, no one's, no one's expected to know this or need to know this, but bear have trichinosis

for the most, like, the vast, vast majority. And that bear meat man did that, look good over the fire, but both of them are getting trichinosis and just shitting and puking for the rest of that movie. You need to cook that shit till like 160. And yeah, that's going to be

if it was a an accurate film, it would be a very different. They could be like shitting blood from that attracting more bear. It's a vicious cycle. That would be actually perfect if they are just like laying in the river,

shitting themselves while the helicopter don't want to try. Oh my God. It sees the red. Please kill us. Just land on us, please. The river's red,

so they take the chopper down. What is that? Well, one man could do another. Oh, my God. I'm going again. I can't believe it. Oh, it's both hands. It's both.

It's a good going down. I will say also, though, I have seen, like, cooked bear meat. I've had bear before. Quite delicious. I think the consistency of whatever they were showing here. actually looked pretty

to bear meat which was kind of oddly accurate looking to me but yeah now they have these full on bear outfits and Hopkins makes of them cute adorable bear necklaces

with a bear tooth yeah it's a weird like he's got one made Baldwin is like and where's mine you made a chotchky for me right a friendship bracelet

and then they pretty quickly come upon this cabin like almost this is like a Miyazaki cabin that's who you can build a cabin anywhere it doesn't have to be on top of a boulder or I don't know how anyone built that it's pretty awesome looking

it's pretty dope it looks like Sergio Leon like it's the final like that's how I was like oh this is where the movie's coming up now we're getting to the they hate each other thing because it's like it looks like something from the good to bad and the ugly it looks like they're going to go at

And they find they walk right past a deadfall, FYI. I'm pretty sure there was at least one poster of this movie called Deadfall. They're like, ah, it's not that. It's the edge. When did that Nick Cage movie come out? I could be okay with that. I would be in a deadfall. What movie?

Nick Cage's deadfall is? Oh, yeah. That's a few years before this, right? It's a wild. Okay. Okay, so that's what I didn't do. It's crazy performance. There's a video game.

Oh, that's dead space. I think there's a video game. Sort of a survival horror kind of thing. I think there's also an Eric Banna movie called Deadfall. Crikey. not so good but like mind the deadfall everybody that's a little

setting up while we go into the cabin we find Hooch very important oh I would love that yeah and we find a gun which Alec Baldwin takes immediately and starts loading

and it's like well that's not great and Albault leaves to do something and he's like oh what do you make us a fire and like oh here's and like he looks and he has the I guess he has the receipt from she gave him the box with a watch she left the receipt

and just dude big flub B. L. McPherson, you idiot. You can't even cheat on your husband, right? Totally. This is embarrassing. Well, first of all, it's room to leave the receipt for any gift anywhere. You know what I mean? Yeah. You don't want to know how much someone's spent on it.

That's why you ask for the gift receipt. It doesn't have the fucking number on it. And especially when you're doing a three-way, like, I'm going to get my husband a gift. I got to buy my boyfriend a gift to give to my husband. That's the worst one. You know what?

My boyfriend of gift as well. Inscribable all. The twist should be that there's a third watch. It's like, and then they both team up. I'm like, who the hell is this guy? What's it? Phil?

Who fuck is Phil? Charles, do you know a Phil? My husband, his watch, the knife, and his lover. The thief, yeah, yeah. I'd watch that. To Phil, the man with the best cock I've ever known. Oh, what the fuck is this? Oh, now that's the last great insult.

Perhaps she meant clock. The best clock she ever did. Yes, maybe this man, Phil fixes grandfather clocks, you see. But that only is his typeo. Not only is the receipt itemized That shows exactly what she got It also has each inscription So it's like to Charles, my loving husband

Here's a knife Thanks for the money And then the third one is To Bob, thanks for all the night Oh, dude Wild, wet or otherwise Thanks for all the nights Thanks for being an A plus sidepiece

And this is so now we know Now it's all confirmed Again and I guess it doesn't matter but like the way that Baldwin is portrayed in this movie he is a city guy who does nothing but city things

like snort and coke off ladies asses and whatnot all that stuff which is to say maybe as this like fashion photographer cokehead dude he's not well versed in loading a rifle like this is again

just really easy peasy like I guess the bullets just go in this hole right like it's all working fucking fine well he used to before he became a fashion photographer he worked for guns and ammo. Oh, yeah. He's got some. He knows how to handle.

I used to shoot the covers for Soldier of Fortune. But now, only about half of those guys are assassins now. As he's drinking, he's like, oh, he needs to be drunk to do it.

The deed, Hobob! Hobob! And so now all the cards are, he was like, what are you doing with that broad anyway? Which I love that line. And he's like,

we're going to kill you outside. He's an old yell or him. at this point. What's the matter, Bob? Can't do it so bad. The line he fucking gives to him pretty great. And as he's walking, you know, they're talking, oh, no, deadfall. Oh, dude, just falling right into this pit.

You'd leave him there. Oh, of course you would. Here's the thing. If you are gunning so hard for this to be like some sort of Hitchcock, like fucking Rod Serling, whatever the shit, he leaves him in the fucking pit. And the way you do it is, because he jumps down into the pit and you're like, Oh, fuck. You're going to save him, idiot.

He picks that gun up first. And you're like, all right, cool. He's just going to take this gun and leave him totally defenseless for when Bart 2 comes down or whatever. But no, we are fucking helping this guy the whole eat shit. No way.

He's a billionaire. He's our social better, Andrew. He would, of course. This movie would be way more appealing if this guy wasn't a billionaire. I'm sorry. I've no fucking patience for this shit. Better or not, I don't know how Tony's

dragging him out of the, Also, very true. Back's gone, brother. It's not going to happen. Alex Baldwin's a bigger man than him. That's right. You know, you can do a pulley system out of a couple of pine cones. No, like, I'm sorry.

This has to end with Anthony Hopkins taking his bare leftovers, just hanging out in the little house. And just every day going in and checking, how you doing on that? Oh, how are you doing? These leftovers are great. I'm going to drop a little bit of bare meat right near your foot. Let's see if you can get to it. He uses, he uses that.

is a toilet. Oh, dude, yes. Just pissing on them. Go all in. And then like when you're ready to go or whatever, like the chopper comes, you're like, one second, pilot and you go back and you fill that fucking hole in. He's just buried with himself and your feces.

Yeah. I found him that way. He was full of piss and shit and bear meat when I got here. He dug up the latrine, was trying to eat all my feces. He was a real sick ticket. He was voracious. Wilderness. badness had struck him

and then he fell down and hurt his leg he became the bad at the end of the day he was the bad and I don't know who carved shithead into his head but

the penmanship is a mac for a forehead but I don't know I mean like also like Alec Baldwin is going to shoot Anthony Hopkins

at the end of all of this A yes you could definitely get some money out of this dude B like I guess you're going to just bury

him out there and no one will ever find it but I feel like he would be found and you're going to go back And so Alcabal's playing, I'm going to shoot this guy. I'm going to marry his wife and then she's going to get all the money. You're at least like a three-part special on 2020, at least.

There's a long time before the fucking H is not O. You know what I mean? Like before everything cools down, this is a long commitment. Keep up whatever this grift was. You're going to keep your story straight for a song. Because again, as we've pointed out, he's a billionaire. America's most precious of people. So you know the country would just be so disheartened and we'd want to know what happened.

People in the streets. Poor man. Fuck this guy. You're like, yeah, like, you just have to imagine it now. Like, if Jeff Bezos got lost in the woods, can you imagine the joy and jubilation on Twitter? It would just be like, it would be celebration day in Star Wars. Like, it would literally everybody would be a joyous and be like,

oh, please let him be dead. Oh, yes. Now I am the most famous rich person pedophile, excellent. I wouldn't get lost in the woods. I would have died. on the plane there I wish I'd have enough smarch

to die in the plane crash stupid oh you want to be eating by bad do you so he drags Alec Baldwin up and like

I guess he makes a stretcher for him that he's dragging him around well did you know that you can fashion a hydraulic lift

out of a hundred sticks I don't know do it all do it all he takes them on the canoe and goes down the river yeah

basically the end of the movie is like or the end of this is them on a rock and like Alec Baldwin is like cursing him out but that he's like I'm sorry Charles I can't believe I did

that by the way your wife totally wasn't in on it absolutely and I feel like that's kind of uh I'm gonna die and I don't want her to be in trouble but she was definitely in on it I'll tell the devil otherwise but I'm gonna tell this billionaire a different story the receipt in the fucking thing tells you

she's 100 100% on the murder though blood lost and whatnot I mean if you find that like if you're trying to, like, because... Sure, she's getting dicked, but she's not saying kill him. Part of me thinks she planted that receipt in there and wanted him to know.

To fight each other, right? Yeah. Like, I think she was kind of... Oh, they kill each other and she gets all the money. Oh, devious as fuck. I like that. That's got it. Yeah. But he, like, he does apologize, then he quickly dies when the helicopter comes. Anthony Hopkins, you know, finally

hails it down. And yes, he comes back as king fucking shit to this. And this also feels like it's like how long were they missing? Oh, day? Well, yes. Everyone's still there. Yeah, Captain Wilhoed is just still hanging around this lodge. I think I counted like they got like three sleeps in.

So we got like three nights maybe we're going on. Yeah, their beards aren't that big either. That's true. That's nothing. Yeah. I could do this. And they're playing the score from like Gandhi. Yes.

Like him coming back on to this slip like, hello, I am back. The police, the press. Yeah. The amount of press they get into the. small Alaskan Lodge is insane. We got everybody. We got time too as well. And he sees LQ Jones and he's just like, and this is where I was like he's going to offer him the

money. No, no, no. He just brings up that dumbass rabbit with a pipe thing. Because he's like, come on, say it to me. And he's like, why did the rabbit survive? Come on. Suck my D. And he's like, because the rabbit is smarter. Fine. You're fucking billionaire. What else? What more validation do you need? I just wanted to operate a hotel where people could come and enjoy, I'll forget it.

Where you know, my trophy wife needs an photographer. Could you maybe pick that up? I like that picture of Jack Hawk. How do you like to live the rest of your life as a shadow boat? Come on now. You're on to my pay. Because doesn't he say, doesn't LQ say that he's the one that took the one that took the two in the first

place? Wow, you have quite the eye. Oh, yeah, that'd be something. But in the end here... You ever make $40 million the hard way? Oh, sorry. He gives the wife the receipt or whatever. The watch. Fuck you. Oh, the watch. Yeah, Baldwin's watch

No one goes up to him When they When he lands and he gets off Everyone's just standing there stoically like Yeah, yeah, you come to me After he's just survived this ordeal She's standing up at the lodge deck Like, come on old man

At the very least How about some medical attention? A snack? A granola bar? A rush and a hug would be nice Wouldn't it? Like a real like the second I'm off the helicopter after a Russian adrenaline shot. Just give it to me right there.

You know, that would have happened if Baldwin got off that point. Oh, yeah, that's true. And the first reporter, the first reporter to say something asks her a question. No, it doesn't ask him. How does it feel? Come on. Isn't it great to have? It's like, well, you had time to ask her all kinds of questions.

Totally. Before they recovered the guy. Unless you just showed up, which means you were late to this press conference, which is wholly unprofessional. She's given all the answers she's going to give. he should be brought in on a palanquin by some of the media like Newsweek's top guy has one shoulder

and fucking the New York Times has another one but they say lastly you know what happened to the other men you're with die saving my life I did not eat them I know what you're thinking I want to put this out of your mind right now before anything else there was no

consumption of human flesh There was this bear, and I shit myself for about 48 hours. But, no, no eating of the people. Absolutely not. Oh, wait. Actually, yeah, I thought over. Bye, bye, everybody. Press card was over.

Is there enough toilet paper up there? Oh, man. And Roger Ebert called this. This thank you card to Bart the Bear comes way too early in the credits. Yeah. Because it's like, it's a dramatic ending. Like, they died saving my life. Quick black.

Thank you to Bart the Bear for being adorable. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I mean, here's the, here's the, he's the, he's putting asses in seats. It's fucked up that it's not at the front. I'll just say that. He doesn't he get a, like Bart the Bear is, doesn't he get a title card? Oh, does he? Oh, maybe I'm wrong.

I don't see what I don't be thinking. It's the end where it's like, thanks to Bart and Doug or whoever the trainer was. I mean, he should get the hammer. Yes, I'll, and Bart the Bear as the bear. Absolutely. But no, we got an opening. in question, this is good for engagement. Comment below if he

does have that credit or not. You're watching. If you're watching at home, please let us know. Thank you. But so then... I mean, that's the movie. It's kind of nice that it sort of ends right there. Although

there is an argument to be made that you end this movie right after we kill that bear. Sure. Because the rest of that stuff just feels all the shit in the hot and whatever the lodge or whatever it is. Like, that's great, but at that point it feels like it's in a completely different movie.

You didn't pace it properly. Or the helicopter rescue ended when the helicopter is seen or something. If it's about man versus man and the bear is the side show, you need to pace it that way. So much energy is used on the bear and we forget about our troubles for so long. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, that's what anyone thinks about this movie now. I mean, we've made this joke for years on the show. Like, this is a movie where Anthony Hopkins fist fights a bear. Yeah. We've been saying that since 2010, like, in one way or another. That's all anyone remembers about this movie because it was just sort of pushed as

there's a bear chasing a movie and that's the movie. Where is the edge here? That's the fucking question. The guitarist? I think they go to the edge. They go to the edge. At least they actually fight the bear. What was that Liam Neeson movie?

The Grey. That's with wolves. They set up a wolf fight and you never see it. No, I was a... I want to see a wolf fight. Yeah, for sure. A huge sold-out crowd at a Cobble Hill theater many years ago was quite upset when that movie did not deliver the goods. You could add a pack of wolves to almost any Liam Neeson movie that's going to make it better. There's a pack of wolves following me on my train commute and the commuter.

The wolves are going to be taken. Marlowe wants to ask you a question. Oh, no, there are wolves. For some reason, because it's Liam Neeson, it seems like natural. I'd be like, oh, yeah, and this is the wolf part. Yeah, there's a pack of wolves, follows them around at all times, no matter what the character is. He's got a Dr. Doolittle thing, but it's only for, like, evil animals, like coyotes. Yeah, quote-unquote evil animals, yeah, in the mainstream media.

Yeah. It also, the credits, as much as I love this score, it's odd that the credits just have this real, like, light, jazzy thing going on. Like, it's a fucking Clint Eastwood movie out of nowhere. They're trying to go prestigey with it. Sure. Yeah. I'm going to take you to the end. it's going to be the edge

of your sanity I mean I would like Because my answer right Like what is the edge The edge is cannibalism And we don't get there No we should have eaten Harold Parano

With Bart Maybe that's the bonding activity Yeah It's like see we both love eating this guy We're all man killers And it doesn't matter Because we're at the edge of the world That's right

We're at the edge of this episode So Brent we will start with you As our esteemed guest this week final thoughts and recommendations on The Edge. And also talk about your great book. Thank you. So I am all for the focus being put on the bear versus the man versus man scenario.

I feel like we get a lot of survival movies where man versus man is the thing. And I'm fine with that. But yeah, you're getting my butt in a seat to see a bear movie. So I want there to be a heavy bear presence. And especially if it's part of the bear. So, you know, also it's,

Like, I saw this movie when I was a kid. You know, I loved, I love this movie as a kid. Anything that is a survival movie or a creature feature, those are my movies. And this is both, so I'm, you know, is it a good movie? No. But if you like those things, it's fun. It's really fun. And I do think some of the shots are surprisingly good.

That bear strike, I mean, the bird strike scene is pretty awesome. They don't linger on the CGI birds for long enough for you to see how shitty they are. And then all the practical looks awesome. so I really just enjoy it as a movie especially one that I had a connection to growing up the trainer Bart's trainer Doug Seuss

he started a foundation called Vital Ground and what they do is they buy up land and connect it to public land and protected land to make larger wildlife corridors so that animals can move, they have larger freedom of movement

through public and private grounds. So that's a pretty sweet foundation that he started. You can also buy a poster of Doug Seuss and Barth the bear on their website. And it's pretty awesome. I do have one. Yes.

So, yeah, Vital Ground, go buy some swag from them. The book, I am psyched about the book if you do not like hunting if you are suspect of hunting this book is for you

I specifically wrote it for people who don't want to read it and it's a new wave marketing technique so check it out it's mostly about wildlife economics the shotgun conservationist and you can

if you really don't like the fact that the boys had a hunting advocate on their podcast, feel free to email Steve. Don't give it out. Do not give it out. That's a Gmail address.

No, no, no, no. You can find my website at immortalanimals.com. My Instagram is stuff in my apartment. And, yeah, go buy a book. Get the, if you enjoyed the,

if you enjoyed the sounds of my voice, then get the audio book. Yeah. Now, if this isn't out when the episode drops, what is the, what is the street date of this sucker? When can people? The book is going to be on shelves April 25th. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. All right. Great. It is available now. It is available now. But yeah, when it comes out, yes, absolutely available now. I would love it if you bought a copy. I really don't care if you read it, but please buy a copy for the love of God. That's what's important. Steve Saneck. Yeah, again, I saw this movie in 1997. Do you recall what scene are you went to by any chance? The Bay Plaza Multiplex.

That's where you got to go. Bay Plaza. It's a blast. It's not a good movie. It's an absolute great TNT movie. It's a hangover movie galore, like a top tier hangover movie. Totally. Because it's so quiet.

And I do think like the scenery is nice and all that stuff. Like there's a lot of good photography of the stuff. The Bear looks beautiful. And like I think that they give to good performances in a shitty, silly movie. So it's totally good. Yeah, a slight recommend for me. It had been a while since I'd seen it. And I was kind of like misremembering some things.

Like, I totally remembered Hopkins completely falling off that waterfall for whatever reason. So that was a bit disappointing. But yeah, I don't know. It's two like heavyweight actors, you know, out in the wilderness. Yeah, there's a lot of walking. But there's also a lot of like decent talking. If you can get around the mammateness of it all. And fucking Bart the Bear, man, totally ruled.

classic legendary animal actor Chris Cabin. I mean I would say watch it once as light a recommend as I can give because it's just a very awkward and weird film to me the matching of Mamet with this kind of world is just so strange

and he needs to me to have this work you need a director who's more stylish like this is just not that and like it looks good but it doesn't have any character of its own from the filmmaking point of view or through the editing and anything like that but of course Like everything else, I just love Anthony Hopkins. Sure.

So him saying, like, let's kill the motherfucker. That is great. That is kind of worth it for me. Like, stuff like that. Like, I think back to what we were talking about Bram Stoker's Dracula, when he says like, you have birth, right? Yeah, stuff like that. Yeah, totally.

Stuff like that is what I come to the movies for at the time. And, like, he does a lot of it in this. Now, can Bart join the Council of Dudes? Please, take a seat. Eric Siski. Yes, it is a strong recommend for me, like many of us here. I watched this growing up. I still had fun with it

We're watching it this morning Just the nature being bad I've been good I got a fetish for that No it was a I just had a good time watching it again And stroll down memory lane And two big actors getting at it And of course the biggest actor of all

Bart the Bear That's right That's right Well that is going to do it for this episode We Hate Movies y'all If you want more WHM content Of course head over to Patreon.com Slash We Hate Movies

Where every month there is a boatload of exclusive shows that drop just on there. So for the month of May, which is what we're in, which you can't even fucking believe it, first of all. It's already May of 2033. We got a WLM all about Marvel's

Guardians of the Galaxy. Proving to you all, once again, we don't just blindly hate all of those movies. This is one on the love feed for sure, because it is indeed if you can even stand it, a good movie. And I'm sure people will be very normal about this episode. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, because normalcy always happens when you talk about these movies. Absolutely. Yeah. What else we got here? Steve, nothing for animation, damnation? Not yet. Are we reporting this too early? We are recording this too.

We got a new Melrose 2 and O coming out. Sure, absolutely. Lives are continuing to be on fire in Melrose Place. Absolutely. You've got to call the L-A-FD for these folks because everyone's life is burning to the ground, which is fantastic. Oh, is good. Our Nexus continues? Right.

We are dangerously close to the end of TOS. And we got to figure out and maybe we put this out to all of our patrons out there. Like, what is the move? This is just become a show where we're talking about TNG. Are we doing another series? Are we

ending it? Let us hear what you think. The ending is a terrible idea. Well, you know, you've got to make them want it. Eric is doing the tinkerbell. And, you know, this podcast might permanently very soon.

Unless the show rolls on next week, Steve, what is the next week's episode? Oh, great question. It is, we're doing an episode on son-in-law. Oh, yeah. Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy. I'm a country boy.

The weasel is coming to WHM. Is this our first Pauly Shore movie? No, it's in. In Ceno, man. Well, that's a Pauly Shore movie. It's movie Pauly Shore is in. So, wait, wait, wait, it's jury duty and then this, right? We're just in the Army now.

In the Army now. But under his rules, that might be an Andy Dick movie. I'll tell you this right now, motherfucker. There's never been an Andy Dick movie. Biodome might, I think, is technically a polychore. But it's Baldwin, Stephen. It's a lesser Baldwin. It's a second bill.

Yeah. Anyway, son-in-law, this is a movie I've seen probably 70 to 80. I like that. Massive in the house movie. We got the dean, we should say. of American Hogwarts Lane Smith is the father here in the film?

It's bunched some grindy. That's right, dude. Great, thank you for remembering the fucking, the sort of running gagging that. It absolutely is. It absolutely is. Yep, we are going to munch on some grindage next week. Thank you.

Next week we will be munching on some grindage with Polly Shore in son-in-law. Until then, I've been Andrew Chippin. Stephen Ced at. Eric Cisker. Chris Gavin. Brandt Macduff. Take it easy. That was a hate gum podcast.