We Hate Movies - S13 Ep675: World War Z

Episode Date: May 16, 2023

On this episode, the guys are left scratching their heads over the “prestige zombie drama” World War Z! How checked-out was Brad for this one? Couldn’t they have found anything for Mireille Enos to do besides sit by a phone and mope? And good gravy, what are we doing with that Pepsi machine at the end? PLUS: Gal Gadot adopts North Korea’s anti-zombie protocol!  World War Z stars Brad Pitt, Mireille Enos, Daniella Kertesz, James Badge Dale, Ludi Boeken, Peter Capaldi, Pierfrancesco Favino, Ruth Negga, Matthew Fox, and David Morse as Ex-CIA Agent; directed by Marc Forster. San Francisco! We’ll be talking Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home IN TWO DAYS at Cobb’s Comedy Club—this Thursday, 5/18! Make sure you’ve got your tix!! We're so pumped to see you! Check out the WHM Merch Store featuring new KONG, DILF Den, Grab-Ass & Cancer & SW Crispy Critters designs! Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the program, get ready to slam an ice cold Pepsi, because on this episode, we're talking, oh, man, it's World War Z, isn't it? God damn it. I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Seda. World War Siska. Damn me, you took mine. Chris Cabin Z. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone, welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in. As always, that's right. This week on the program, we're talking, uh, 2013's World War's he directed by Mark Forster.

Now, if you don't know this fella, that's right, Chris Cabin. Check out this fucking. filmography starting with last year's a man called Otto Christopher Robin

Wait that man called Otto that's a zombie movie right Tom Hanks's first zombie movie Yeah Christopher Robin Machine gun preacher Wait wait is this That's Gerard Bootler

Yes it is I'm a preacher with a machine Good Do you get it? I'm praying to my Lord A.K. 47 I'm sucking the cock of a gun Oh quantum of solace

The Kite Runner Stranger Than Fiction The Will Ferrell movie That was the first Boring filmography What does he just throw darts at a wall? What the fuck is this? Dude, get ready

Backing up even further Back to the Future 3 Finding Neverland And then the movie he did Right before that is big break Oh yeah You guessed it name it Chris Cabin.

Monster's Ball. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. What a fucking filmography. Not great. Not, man. Fighting Neverland and Monsters Ball at least. And I mean, like,

fighting Neverland. Two movies about people who abuse children. Yes, but, like, were well received in, like, in Oscar-y circles. I don't care for it. Finding Neverland is the documentary about Michael J. Yeah.

Michael J. Michael Jackson, not Michael J. Fox. No. No, that's Johnny Depp. as the dude who wrote Peter Jackson. No, that's Charlie the chocolate factor. There we go. That was almost too stupid, but then it turned out to be great.

Look at that alley. That was nice. Here's something dumb for you. Try this on for a side. World War Z. You know, because World War zombie, I guess. So World War I. That's the first one. Yeah. And then there was World War I.I.

Right. No. And I thought I had somewhere to go and I don't. I got an Eric. I got an Eric. The tree tracks are running out. Here you go, I'll help you out. Here comes the cliff. I'm going to be the Judd Apatow to your Gary Shandling and write you this joke.

Thank you. World War Z. Probably should have called the World War Z, Z, Z, Z, Z, because this thing put me to sleep. Yes. Oh, yeah. Yes, that's good. That's the good one. Well, I mean, Larry Sanders would never tell a joke so low.

This, so as much with movies like this, the end of the world, you have to open your credits with what's on TV What's on TV? Wendy Williams is on TV Ladies and gentlemen Wendy Williams is on TV A lot of nature footage is on TV Apparently

You know what's weird Is just right before Mark Foster You know he's on location You're just about to start shooting this movie And 28 days later It was on TV

And he just couldn't put it down You know what I mean He's like that's a good movie Oh man Yeah hell of a movie What I have to do is the exact opposite of all that

all that stuff needs to be put in the backseat for the front stuff, which is just making a big prestige blockbuster zombie movie. Here's an amazing thing. So this movie is 2013. This movie, uh, theatrically was cowardly rated PG-13. And here's the thing. We at that point were of course firmly in a post Sean of the Dead world.

Oh yeah. There is an R-rated modern zombie movie that made a fuck ton of money. There's absolutely no excuse for this movie to be rated PG-13 theatrically. And 28 days later made a shit ton of money too. Like, you know what I mean? And obviously, like, honestly, I think that fucking Walking Dead,

which obviously this movie wants to cash in on is much more violent and, like, bloody and stuff. You know what I mean? Like, it's just, it's insane that this movie is so bloodless. It's not a horror movie. It's, and I mean, like, this is why I didn't see this movie in theaters is why I didn't want. to watch this last night, which is why I still haven't

really watched The Last of Us. I've been done with zombies for a really long time. I remember seeing this when it came out in the theater. I haven't seen it since. But when I saw it, even when I saw it in the theater, it was begrudgingly because I was tired of zombies then, 10 years ago. And to your point earlier,

earlier, dirder. Dirter. 28 days later, yeah, it borrows so much. This is like the exact same mechanics, right? It's a disease and they're fast. They're fast and it's grainy and it's gritty and it's on the ground.

That's the problem with this. That's true. Sean of the Dead has jokes. Legitimate big fucking laps. Oh, it's a comedy. 28 days later. Also hilarious. It's got its moments.

Blood, A. It's brutal. Brandon Gleezer. Get the fuck away from me! Yeah. That was pretty funny. We're still laughing about that to this day. Surprise.

Birthday party. Oh, is it get the fucking. Brendan Gleason's like, get the fucking away from me. Isn't the bench. in a Sharon? It's been both movies actually brought it back. But like the rougher elements of those, the fact that

it does look like that and like the colors are all bled out like that. All those things add to the, what gives it. This is literally just a prestige drama that they fucking threw fucking zombies in. It's Zariana. Z Z Zariah. Zambiana.

But we do get speaking of zombies, he gets to Pierce Morgan, right? Right up top and talking about God knows what. God. there might be a zombie outbreak. That's the most horrifying image in the whole movie is fucking Piers Morgan's ugly moored in my TV. Silly jump scare I got. Well, here's the thing

is I thought so I saw this movie sort of once before and by that I mean late in the night once years ago I downloaded like Cam Torrent and fell asleep Was it because I kept on talking about the ending? Because the Pepsi machine

I had to review this and I when I tell you This, when the, when the Pepsi machine thing happens at the end of this, I burst out laughing into a dead silent crowd. I always remember you talking about that moment to the point of which I was expecting Brad Pitt to be surfing on the thing. Yes. I thought it was going to be a more integral part. Just saved humanity. What you need is a good Pepsi.

Are you ready, Pepsi machine? You got it, Jerry. Let's fight these zombies. But like, but like. They all get, the zombies get diabetes. You know, and I don't know, I put it on and was kind of like, okay, I'm not hip to the whole, like, prestige, you know, zombie drama because, like, zombie movies are supposed to be grody and disgusting. You want to smell them coming off the screen. Oh, yeah.

And, you know, Brad Pitt's just so durn handsome in this movie. All I'm smelling is, like, pleasant cologne. You know, at the start of this film, when he's in Philadelphia, by the. the way. I thought the traffic was stopping because someone that looks like Brad Pitt showed up in Philadelphia. Could you imagine? He's, he is

it's not the zombies, it's Brad Pitt like, what? A guy that looks like that in Philadelphia. He is especially pretty in this movie. The long hair. The scarf, the fucking scarf. The scarves are crazy. Well, that scarf tells you that he's worldly. Oh yeah, yeah. Do you think that they shopped this was

the M-9 because of this Philadelphia connection or no? I wondered about that. I also then wondered if they didn't, if M. Knight tried to put a cease and desist. I'm the only one that makes weird shit in Philly, God damn. I mean, the opening is like happening. Yeah, very much. It feels like it.

Because it's just like things happening, you know, we're going around. And then we just open up very much like the opening of Dawn of the Dead the second one, the new one. I was going to say also very much like the opening of dawn of the planet of the apes where they're talking about indeed a virus

that ravaged humanity. over the news but they're in bed and like the kids come in and like it's like almost like a fake scare like because you're expecting some zombie stuff is like make us pancakes worse than zombies I say that's have to do this instead of just having to fend off a zombie and Jerry it seems has like retired for Jerry's Bradford's character Jerry Lane by the way which is what I imagine they call jaywalking in the UK your lad's Jay in the lane you're Jerry Lining what are you doing jerry lane is also like someone who stars in fuck flicks yeah for sure yeah probably female star yeah yeah just jerry with a g by the way very important you know it is probably only one

our sometimes i spell jerry with a g and an eye but it's like he's retired from war crimes to be a stay-at-home dad yeah even mariel he knows his wife is like you remember what that job did to you it's like that means he was like fucking sticking things up people's ass and like fucking waterboarding and whatever. It's weird. The timeline we get like apparently it was like a military guy for the UN. Yes. And there's talking about Sri Lanka in 07 and

whatever. Yeah. I don't know how much of that is like related to real historical events. But it is weird that this dude who were told worked for the UN is like a super spy kind of Jason born dude. This movie puts so much stock in

UN and stock in science and the globe, which has been proven, all this has been proven completely false. And caring about all, like, caring about the fucking UN. Like, is anybody actually paying attention to what's going on in the UN? Yes, nerds. Well, sure. Yeah. But, like, generally, like, an audience, I'm just like, nobody. No, that never happens unless, like, someone comes to address the general assembly like Superman. Yeah, yeah. Then everybody pays attention to what's going on down there. But the United States has never ever, to Eric's point, cared about the UN, has never cared about science, has never cared

about, post-COVID, it's like, yeah, you're fucked. I mean, that's the way. Yes, but the end of this movie having like, you got, every now, okay, everyone, yes, it's a disease, inject yourself with, I just, I, so many flashbacks to the whole. Well, it's fascinating right, because in the world

of World War Z, there wasn't a bunch of fucking assholes running rough shot across all media you know, spewing disinformation and telling people not to take it. This was like, hey, there be zombies. This protect you from them zombies.

Take shot, no die. All those people are in their house, are in their apartments or their houses, in their rooms, and being eaten. They're not out there making their opinions or anything like that. I ain't wearing a mat. Oh, yeah. So I was supposed to shoot a zombie in the head. Got it.

Honey, just look, I told, you don't ask me about my old job. Look, one minute there was a Syrian wedding there. The other time, it wasn't, you know? Happens like that. Hole in the ground, used to be a wedding. The government's telling me I'm supposed to help defeat the zombies. I don't think I like the zombies now.

Now that the government said I should destroy them, I like them. Marjorie Taylor Green would suck off a zombie. Oh, of course. That's part of her crossfit. Fucking jumping on zombie dicks, jerking them off. Is anybody asking how there's, zombies feel. I mean, I think this is an obvious point that nobody wants to bring

up, but we are maybe just as bad as the zombies. A zombie never wore a dress and tried to read to children, so having the fuck forbid. I think I'm voting zombie for resident this year. And not like an old politician zombie. Like an actual

undead monster. Oh, yeah, another vote for me. Oh, amazing. That's fantastic. I think both tickets are going to have zombies. talkful of zombies on each side. All right, sweetheart, here's your pancakes. You know, I did shoot a little girl little younger than you in the head three years ago

in a war zone, but, you know, I'll just keep... That's what, dude, that's when he holds over them when they're, like, misbehaving and whatnot. He's just like, I don't want pancakes. You know, one time I shot a little girl right in the face. She looked just like you, and you know what? I bet she wishes she was alive to eat pancakes right now. The daughter of a certain drug trafficker

who was sort of begging for her life. might have had an issue like this. Her daddy was passing out leftist leaflets. Come boom. Bye bye daddy. Bye bye bye. Did you see the end of Sikario?

Kind of like that. Kind of what he did to that nice house is what I would do to this place. But like he, but dude, this fucking commute where they're in the, I guess they're in the suburbs driving into main,

the mainstream fucking Philadelphia, Midtown Philadelphia. Yeah. Yikes. Yeah. Especially on the morning of a zombie apocalypse outbreak. It's a tough one. My God, the fucking gridlock.

Why use the bus? What's wrong with the bus? Yeah, exactly. Is this a problem here? What is Miriel Enos' character supposed to do for a living? Do we get that at all? She's Brad Pitt's wife. That is her job.

It's a job, you can tell that she's a lady. She's got a bow in her hair. She's got nothing to do in this movie. Absolutely not. I'll tell you an alternate path for her character, which is insane. May or may or not have been filmed.

I remember. Yeah. So what do we get there? So they leave the house for reasons. I don't know. They're driving down the street. And it's like, oh, traffic jam got all cars and a beach got set. Oh, wait, turn down the Dave Matthews. What's happening?

Oh, my God, zombies. And it's like a dump truck. Well, a cop car flies by and breaks off his side mirror. And he gets out a car to be like, hey, what's going on out here? I'm a scientist or something. Well, he is so low-fi this entire movie. movie. Like, he doesn't give his shit. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, that's the thing about Brad Pitt is like, when he gets a character that he can actually kind of sink his teeth into, you can see it happen. But when it's like, hey, Brad Pitt, just being in a regular movie, like, got it. Oh, no, zombies. Nice guy. Not good for him.

No. That is what is fast. Nice guy is also not good for him in real life. I don't know. If you believe it. Yeah, true. Here's the thing, though. Nice guy. Oh, here's the thing. That's crazy. Sure. Because. And he and his production company, Plan B, fought like snakes to fucking option this. They were fighting against Leo DeCaprio's production company. They put all this money into licensing the fucking book, like a million dollar advance for this fucking thing. Ridiculous. And then like he gets there and it's like, you know,

I guess it's like, well, part of the deal is like Bradstars in the movie. Sure. But apparently they use nothing from the book. Is that right now? The book was written by it's Mel Brooks's son. I believe that's his full name. Yes. Max Mel Brooks.

Sunbrook. Right. So they're just licensing it for the title? Essentially. I guess it's a good title. It was a huge book. It was a huge book. It's the Weinstein playbook. If it sounds like something that a fucking teenage will buy a ticket for, that's all that matters. Just looking at the production stuff. It just, there was a script that was very that was close enough to the, because the book itself doesn't really have a narrative. It's more like interviews about the actual, what would happen in the zombie apocalypse and like stories told in that vein. And, this was like, oh, first I was like, hey, we'll have a character that actually does the

interviews. And it's like, well, what if the character doesn't do the interviews? What if this happens? What if it's exactly World War Zee? It's only in time. What if we just made it like zero dark 30 or something? Maybe what if it's kind of about globalism? Like I don't know really what the like, no, this movie isn't saying anything. Don't even try it. Of course it's not saying anything. I think it might have a pretense that it's trying to. Oh, I don't think so. But I think because I think they always say. Mark especially love saying that. There is some interesting political things

that we'll get into. It's bad, but I mean, it's funny because he does, he's like, there's a delivery guy and he's like, oh, because I connect with the people on below me. Hey man, what's going on? Do you know what's going on down there?

Karen, Karen, I've been in lots of war zones. Watch how I talk to this guy. Hey, dude. I want to say dude to these people. Okay, just it eases them. It's a colloquial greeting from this area. We're going to be fine. Now, don't move your hands a lot. You'll get scared. Hey, wait, wait, we're in downtown Philly. I got, I got to hang in.

He's like, hey, dude, what's with that John down there? Do you think the Sixers have it this year? I didn't know what I did here, sweetly. The answer's always no, but you say that to play came. Okay, he's a little nervous. I'm going to try to climb the lamppost so he sees that I'm much like his fans. I, Eagles fan, yes. See, I do the same thing. Yes. Climb to the top of that lamp post and took a shit back down to the ground.

They're accepting us into the tribe. No, no, no, no, no. Honey, drink the yingling. They're going to find you offensive if you don't drink the yingling. Honey, we're steps away from being welcomed into the Eagles Nation. And they're going to tell us what's going on with those zombies. No, I know it's on actual black and tan. Just drink it. It's, no, cheese withs is kind of disgusting,

but you're just going to have to eat this sandwich. I do love, I don't know, man. And he goes back in his car. I was like, well, that was weird. And then, like, this cop is like, hey, stay in here. And he gets fucking clipped so hard.

It's so awesome. It's the best of the movie. Yes. And the only reason they allow it is because there's no splatter. And it's clear a cartoon character. Yeah. Getting hit by that garbage truck. But, like, there's all these.

The Department of Sanitation was, just kind of like, you know what? They're going to make us clean up all these zombie bodies. Fuck this. Out of the way. Talk to my rep. This garbage truck that just rams everyone. And Brad Piz is a smart idea.

We'll just follow the garbage. That's right. That's right. You know, you got a good dude who's pushing dudes out of the way and you're holding the football, man. You just follow the path. Ambulance chasing. You can do it for other kinds of big cars. Absolutely.

And funnily enough, in the trivia for this, Andrew and I discovered that, There's a movie cliche number 25. Dude, I'll pull it up, Steve. You set up what's going on. But there's just a bunch of like movie cliche. The zombies shouldn't do this or that. It's like some guy on having fun of IMDB trivia.

Well, the movie cliche they missed is the fucking little girl with the asthma. Anytime someone has asthma in a movie or insulin, it's like, oh no, how are we going to do the thing because of the asthma? Immediately she doesn't have her asthma puffer. like a big fucking... Their life automatically becomes more important. Hollywood cliche number 27.

Humans who will become zombies can never visit a dentist. What? I don't know. Is that in the movie? Well, no, I think that some of the zombie teeth are messed up

because they make some of... Oh, okay. Is that a trivia? But one of those was the fucking girl with the inhaler? No, no, no, it's not. They don't mention...

Sorry, I got a couple more here. Hollywood. cliche number 25 zombies have remarkable muscle tone yet poor muscle control okay food for thought boy this is a list of things

I care about let's do a few more there's only one more so this is the final one at 11 minutes and 51 seconds Hollywood cliche number 23 the engine was working just a few minutes ago yeah

just the car stops like if you're out there and you wrote that, fuck you. Like, you ruined my day, dude. You literally, like, the trivia section is for trivia. It's sacred. It is.

Not for your fucking grudges. Cchay number 53. The airline hostess doesn't even check the elevator on the airplane before pushing the button. It happens all the time, folks. It's just, these people that submit things to the internet movie database

really steam my clams. You're just photocopying executive decisions. Good job. So we're watching Brad Pitt because he's a super genius guy that's tortured enough people. I guess when you torture enough people, you take their knowledge. How Native Americans believe the windigo does that.

You know, when you eat somebody. Or what I firmly believe happens when one human being consumes the flesh of another. Okay. You know, you take their essence. You're just taking ravenness is gospel now. Absolutely. It's better than church.

He's a genius, so he sees some guy fall to the ground. Well, you know what? I'm going to start counting to see how long it takes for this guy to get up. 12 seconds. Honey, that's how long it takes for a zombie to become a zombie. I figured it out. It's 12 seconds. And there's a way to do this where it's like, here's a guy who is like piecing together.

Sure. What is happening. But like, when you introduce that character, I need to be told that this. guy's like a virologist. Yes, exactly. He's Sherlock. Like, if he can do shit like that, that's Sherlock shit. That's just like, oh, in the middle of this panic situation, I could slow everything down and remember that it's 12 seconds. Exactly. I also remember the shirt my daughter is wearing the building across the street and the man hanging out of it. So they're driving. They're like, oh, fuck, oh, fuck, oh, fuck. We have to. Oh, that's what. They have to switch to the

RV. You know why they got to switch the RV? Because they get in a car accident. Do you know why they get in the car accident because their fucking kid, this rotten little girl, is like sitting on the floor of the car and the both of them, these idiotic parents are both turned like, honey, you gotta put your buckle on, honey? And I was like, I think

Brad Pitt should be watching the boom, boom, but they get fucked up because of this stupid little girl. Yeah, well, they just took her like a football and threw it into the zombie horn and ran. You know what? Deadweight dude? She's fucking catatonic for rest of the movie anyway. Chowdown, boys. They then

find a luckily placed RV that they get into. Absolutely. A battle van that has like all these guns in it. Shit. Yeah. It's convenient. Yeah. And wouldn't you know it? So Steve's point here, movie cliche, it's like, uh-oh, we have to stop off because she lost her puffer. What's also funny about this too is by then, he's already had this phone call with the guy at the U.N. whose name's Terry. And this is Jerry,

calling Terry, screenplay, you can't do it. You just can't do it. You got to be nice to the UN or Terry's going to send Jerry over here. You'd much rather be talking to Terry on the phone than dealing with Jerry in real life. I forget, I think it's one of them that actually tries to say teary.

Yeah. It's the, it's for the French spelling, you know, much like Terry Henri, T-H-I-E-R-R-Y. I think they were just getting confused too. Terry A, call, you know, call, you know, they talk to him on the phone and it's like, yeah, okay, you're on I-90, what, five, or whatever. Okay, yeah, you're, you're getting near Newark. We're going to send a helicopter, be there in 90 minutes. Yeah, okay. I think I'll just go now one, go grocery shopping. The helicopter is coming. I would also like, because you're the most special torture we have. We need you right now. I'd be great if when he gets there, like, listen, fuck this up. We have a couple political assassinations. We need you to come out of retirement for. Like, the time. frame it. It's go time. Frame the zombies. You're going to take this zombie. You're going to

throw it at the arched dude. Or whatever. The arched dude. Well, because Tiri tells him that they're at this supermarket, Terry tells them, we're not going to be able to get a helicopter out to you until tomorrow morning. That's the earliest

I can get it to you. He just says, okay, apartment 23 something. And he's like, okay, yeah, we'll find worry. Oh, we got that. We got that. Oh, you're going to put a flare up. That's all you need to do. And it's not their apartment. it's a random apartment in Newark. Yeah, just a random one next to this supermarket.

And like the supermarket scene, there's all plenty of food. Like that's what's so funny about it is like, she's just like, she doesn't have to search for anything. She's like, okay. Oh, she's read labels. Hey, Jerry, I know it's a zombie apocalypse, but are you cool with low sodium progresso or what?

Hey, Hunt, do you think that maybe the UN complex we're going to might have low sodium. All right. These chicken breasts aren't organic, but I think we'll be able to get through it. I took a number and the butcher's not coming on. I have been waiting for 15 minutes. Where's the butcher?

Is there a manager? Well, I mean, the staff's dead tired. That's the thing about, again, this is, when I saw the grocery store scene, I was like, this is why I don't watch zombie shit anymore because I am, especially after 2020, I am positive that I will die in a grocery store scene. grocery store, fighting over luxuries that I've taken for granted my entire life. I know that's coming.

Why don't I need to watch that every year? You know what I mean? I'm not going to watch a fucking show about a guy drowning in student debt. I'm living it. It's fine. Yeah, no, that's totally true, man. It's like, I got zombies fucking eat me to death out here. I don't need to watch a fucking movie about it. I mean, that is true, though. And this grocery

store scene specifically, because like, in those early days of the fucking pandi, dude, I literally, we're recording here. It's a very rainy day here in New York. I had to stand outside the grocery store in the rain, like the waning days of the Soviet Union.

Sure, yeah, yeah. To be led in for, like, there's no way I'd be able to battle somebody over a gallon jug of Poland spring water. You know what I mean? You're done. You're done. Just the suicide town, let's fucking do it. They'll be like, oh, you forgot your ass is puffer. That'll make it easier. We're just going to put the game.

We're going to get this hose going into our car here. We're going to die as a family, sweetheart. That would be great. The world would be handed over to those like 68 year olds who buy 12 packs of Poland Spring every time they go to the grocery store. They just add it on. You know what? I might as well.

Oh, that's my parents. Dude, my family. Oh, my God. You go to my parents' house. If you're thirsty, dude, you'll be able to drink for months. They are never running low on bottled beverages. Absolutely not. Poland's bring the little tiny water ones.

Oh, my God. You go down to my parents' basement. It's like the fucking Ark of the Covenant warehouse just with Poland. Spring little cans. Mom, where's the Poland Spring? What is it? Christmas? Drink the Nestle. Yeah, actually, yeah, there's

some off-brand bottled water as well. But so they're in the grocery store and everything's going fine except in the pharmacy. Brad Pitt's trying to fucking find some melbuterol, you know, puffer canisters there. And some dude comes out and he's got it good. I'm just like so

exhausted already. And it turns out, uh-oh. It's not a bad guy with a gun. You guys, that's a good guy with your guy. Because, like, here's this dude. He looks like a fucking gross tweaker. And you're like, here it comes. And Brad Pitt, like, Jerry himself is ready to lay the death blow on this guy.

And then it's just like, yeah, they grow out of that eventually. My girls did. Here's all your albuterol. These vitamins make it easier to, you have a blessed day now. And I was like, no, this guy was ready to chew your throat out. Which is the big problem with this movie. World War Z. Yeah.

A lot of world. Some Z, almost no war at all. Almost absolutely. Like the percentages of Z and the percentages of war are way over the world. Well, Steve, doesn't it just bloom in your imagination since it's all off screen? Don't you just get to believe anything you like? I love the 13 seconds of Soviet, of Russian war at the end of the movie. That's really exciting.

That was taped together from the originally filmed ending for this movie, which was like the battle. for Moscow. Yeah, okay, great. Everybody was like, like, it's a total no-win scenario because everybody who was like involved in making the movie was like, boy, that's a fucking bummer

because we thought we were really making a human drama or whatever. And now it's an action movie at the end. I don't want it either way. We're going to go back and reshoot, do a huge reshoot, get David Lindeloff involved. Oh, yeah. And have a fucking, a human drama ending,

which also sucks. Also, like, if you're called it. I also suck. World War Z. I want like a general that's a zombie. Yeah. Guys in uniform. Don't you fucking dare try to make this fun. Oh, you watch yourself there, Mr. Those zombies took the beach. We're going to take the beach back, boys. You know, like something like that. Or you need a really like gaudily, adorned like Omar Gaddafi kind of general, but it's a zombie. Here you go. World War Z. You got Brad Pitt. Get Aldo Rain around here. I want my zombies. Hell yeah, that could be something

Mm-hmm Was that, when the hell was inglorious? When did that come out? Was that before this? Oh, it was way before this. 2009? Wow. Yeah, something like that.

It's not 2007, but 2009, I think. So we make it to this fucking, someone steals the RV, nobody gives a shit, they just steal another car and they get to this apartment building and we're going through... Not like in the movie

28 days later. Oh, and we're going through an apartment building with zombies much like the film Dawn of the Dead 1978. At the beginning there. So we're going up the stairs and everything.

Of course, it's disgusting apartment building. Not only there's zombies around, it's in Newark, New Jersey, so there's spray paint on all the walls everywhere, everywhere. Oh, wait, honey, I'm going to have to speak to these locals. Uh-oh, let me just change. I apologize that the Nets left to Brooklyn. Is it okay if I have some of your beer?

We enjoy your local, your local Prudential Center. That's what you should have had to, a bunch of folks gathering at the rock and whatnot for safety. So, yeah, they, the little girl, like, finds this apartment. Yes. And, let us in, let us in. Sorry, sweetheart, I got my own fucking problems. Yeah, good luck dying out there.

We're waiting to die inside. You have to die outside. And this family, like, kindly lets them in. And it's a thing where, like, the little boy has to translate for the parents who only speak Spanish. Tommy is a little boy. Yes, Tommy. and here's something. Tommy, can you hear me?

No, just like, again, just with the product placement in this movie, and in this instance, I think, either it's like this guy doesn't want to give up the good stuff to Brad Pitt or what's going on here, but the dude is like Cervesa and Brad Pitt is like, you know, see,

Gracia's. And the dude just gives him an ice cold, sparkling bud heavy. And you're just like, I don't want to be presumptuous here, but there's a lot more delicious options that this fella could be offering this guy. Also, I know traditions die hard

after a workout like running from zombies you want a cold beer, but maybe a water. I understand, you know, it's a hard day and all, but you know, zombies trying to eat you. That's actually fascinating, right? Because he's chugging Budweiser and Pepsi throughout this movie. That's how you get that Brad Pitt physique, dude. He's just chug both things.

He's just farting the most noxious shit you ever smelled. If that's his whole thing, it's just soda and fucking beer and whatever he's eaten. And also like the gorgeous long hair he has. I never see him condition in this film once. I mean, like that would be, I don't think that's going to be on the battleboat that he's going on. That would be some greasy, gnarly shit up there. Once he gets to Terry, they should be like, okay, where's all the conditioner? Where's the last conditioner on the planet?

Absolutely, dude, yeah. What do you mean you have Perk plus? That's not good enough. I need a tactical comb. to go to South Korea. That's what Mariel Enos grabbed in the grocery store. Honey, they don't have, they don't have pantyed. You better not be grabbing per plus, woman.

Look for something with tea tree oil. Tea tree oil. What are herbal essences work? What did I tell you about the two and ones? They don't work. I need separate conditioner. Yeah, here's some conditioner. It always works for me.

Yeah. Tea tree oil, yeah. Some guy next to say, you sure you don't want food? There's like, well, we're running out of food here. My husband really loves his hair. Shit, honey, they only have the bars of Newtugina, not the pump. All right, I'll just take the can of beans, a can of beans,

can of beans. I mean, I'll take all the cans of beans if you're not going to have the cans of beans. Dinner for that guy. Absolutely. So, you know, they rest up here for a little bit. He, Brad Pitt, as Jerry, turns on a radio, and it's like, the state of New Jersey says you should stay inside now and blah, blah, blah, blah.

Chris Christie is dead. Ladies and gentlemen, but a nation borns. He's become a super zombie. Oh, dude, they can't... In a sea of fast-moving zombies, Chris Christie is still a traditional slow-moving zombie. Can't believe it, but he is actually growing. He is eating the bridge.

Can you believe it? Dude, zombie kaiju movie. Chris Christie is the only zombie? Yeah, I'd probably watch that. On the radio, something that's never been uttered ever, Minnesota's safe zone. I guess it had, they, they may, it out, I guess.

Yeah, it's like, oh, yeah, New Jersey's fucked. Sorry, folks. And, like, Jerry wakes up. He's a nightmare. He realizes, he looks for his daughter and he finds her in, like, Tommy's bedroom. He's like, she had a nightmare. I was just being a very nice kid. And it's like, oh, okay, thanks, man.

Yeah, you're cool, dude. Yeah, high five. That's cool. Your parents aren't going to be dead in 20 minutes, are they? Because, like, so it's, after he wakes up from that nightmare, it's like, all right, we've rested enough. Let's get up to the roof and wait for the helicopter. to come first he uses almost all this guy's duct tape i mean like in a fucking in a zombie apocalypse

you want to keep your duct tape but this guy this family oh yeah you could have you could have a got some of your duct tape sure all of it i think that this guy though i mean they're dead in seconds anyway it doesn't matter but like this guy he's he's kind of like um betty white in uh uh hard rain like they are refusing to leave that apart So I think this dude's kind of like, yeah, take it. I'm not going to need it. I'm safe in my Newark, New Jersey apartment. I don't know, man.

He makes a bayonet, which is kind of cool. That's something. Yeah, it's a cool idea because he has a rifle from the truck. You don't really get to see him use it. Use it once. I mean, oh, that's great. I think we saw him take longer to fashion it that we saw him use it. Yeah, he falls down with it, which is exhilarating.

But I mean, yeah, like, you would imagine like, I'm not scared of no zombies. this is New Jersey. I'm going to throw some of our water at him. He's going to melt. He's just going to go down to bone. Honey, what's that smell? Funny, that's just New Jersey. It's okay.

That's where we are. You're okay. You're okay. Why do I just feel this intense dread about everything? New Jersey. That right there is the New Jersey. That's not the zombies. But so they make the way up to the roof.

The guy's like, you know, thanks, but no thanks. Immediately that they're besieged by Zion. Like, and I think it's. kind of Jerry's fault on the way out. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The cat's over there. Hey, it's a nice family in there for you to kill. Why don't you go get them? He's my family out of it.

Because we get up to the roof and like, Jerry is holding the door closed where everybody can run out. And then like, oh, now Jerry's going to run. And like, here comes the zombies. And it's the first one out the door is the dad that refused to leave. And you're like, shit, that was quick. And the kid, Tommy comes up before them. It's like obvious that it went really south.

he's coming with us and who should save them Matthew Fox with two and a half lines For what? Because there's a version of this screenplay or I think this might have been filmed Oh I don't know about that Maybe in the version

wherein it ends in a big war An actual World War Zia The Battle for Moscow In the Battle for Moscow version Meryl Inos goes to a different refugee camp that, like, Matthew Fox is kind of running and she has to, like, sleep with him for favors.

What? She calls, when Jerry finally gets in touch with him, Matthew Fox is like, hey, man, you better not come back from Moscow. This lady's mind. Setting up World War Z two, Matthew Fox v. Bradbitt. What the fuck world with that existed? When did, does anybody remember when the Walking Dead started?

Was it like 2010? Yeah, something like that. Yeah, it was 10, I think. Yeah. But Chris, you were right. about Inglorious Bastards being 09. Oh, 9. Oh, okay. Yeah.

2010, walking 10. Yeah. And I mean, I just, that show was already doing all of the people turn evil to, like, to do a movie about that. Like, I'm just glad that that has not happened. Well, I mean, the fucking, the Matthew Fox thing is literally the Shane and fucking the main character with the wife. Like, that's literally the triangle.

He's like the big, he's a big strong one that's going to take care of everybody. Yeah, you're right. Back with that show was pretty good. but yeah so like i remember that oh that show being good that was nice i didn't even recognize matthew fox though yeah i'm that whole part i really didn't apparently it is if the count on imdb is do you believe he's got like five lines that's that's it he gets great they get in the helicopter and then they go to battleboat

because that was too exciting and now i mean literally the rest of the movie is pretty boring i'm not even kidding it's so boring i couldn't believe it so it's all about like tracing the origin. It's very like COVID. Yeah, dude. It was weird watching this. He's trying to find patient zero. It picked up a little bit with the airplane thing, but that's about it. Uh, and like, oh, thank you. My very special political assassin is here. Thank God. I would, I would even like, I think like if it was a genuine, if it was like a who done it and like trying to find patient zero and like going insane trying to do that. Yeah. That would even be more interesting to me. That is something, I mean, they made, it's a kind of a ridiculous movie,

but it's way more watchable than this. Outbreak is literally about that. It is trying to find the patient zero and then Dustin Hoffman is like, yeah, the patient zero monkeys on the fence. We gotta kill him. Don't do it. Don't do it. Please don't do it. I also love here how dumb Brad Pitt is because it's just like, okay, yeah, you brought me here, Terry. Now I'm just going to live my, no, no, we, you're going to do something. Well, I don't, by doing stuff days is behind. I don't know if you know I'm retired. It's like, yeah, look

around. Everyone is doing something. If you, if you're leading, you could be clean. My friend. Hey, man. Do you got some data that needs to analyze? And I'm right here for you, man. No, actually, you want you to go out into the field. Yes, they want them to take this young doctor. I guess the only one

left. Oh, yeah. The last guy. Fossbach. Fossbach. Yes. Dr. Fossbach. to South Korea to find patient zero to then question mark a vaccine out of that. Did I get so I, there's a lot of talk here and I swore I heard the vice president's a zombie. Well, no. The president is dead.

The president is dead. The vice president is missing. Oh, I'm dead. Oh, I'm Barack Obama and I'm dead. Four Supreme Court justices have been taken out. And I was like, shit, man, hope it's the right ones. Oh, no. Gorsuch would still be there.

he's already a zombie. That dutalied flesh. He wasn't appointed yet though on the timeline. That's true. Oh yeah that's true. Although I don't know when this takes place. It's a good question. Some future I mean, yeah, I don't know. No, it's scary because it's now. Oh, dude, it could happen any second.

That's right. There's a line here where like they see their quarters on the on the battleship here and this dude here is like, hey man you know, your bunks are six, eight, and three and they're all numbered or whatever. And again, man. these fucking privileged

fucks. He's looking around like, is that it? Fuck, what the fuck? Is that it? And she has to be, she turns, Mariel Eno's turns around and she's like, well, honey, it's bigger than our apartment back on the 72nd Street when we were younger.

I was like, that's what you get for living on fucking 72nd Street on either side of the island. I guess that's why they moved to Philadelphia. Always look on the bright side of your life. Come on, baby, we're not dead. I wish Terry was like, all right, so you've got bunks.

Sorry about, I didn't know you were bringing this extra kid. We can't have them. Yeah, we got to kill him. Sorry. Look, just, you know what? Get him up to the deck. Leave him alone. That's all you got to do.

That's all you got to do. Be like, look, look at the ocean out there. And then you hope for a strong breeze, a.k.a. my man, Brudo over here is going to push him overboard. We've got some tier one operators here, baby. Operator. We can take care of this. Well, there's this great moment because he leaves. He goes to Maryland. He says to be, of course,

because she has nothing to do it. She has to be like, you can't do that. Oh, no. It's so, would you remember what you were like back then or whatever of course shit that is? Yeah. It's just, who could care? You weren't wearing the scarf. You didn't have as much eye shadow on. And he leaves. He says goodbye to Maryland.

And this is, he goes to Tommy. He's like, hey, tough guy. You could take care of the girls. You're not horrifically trauma. times by the death of all your entire family, right? Yeah, we're friends. You're good. Everybody, you're good. You're a strong little buddy. Kind of own you now. Just FYI. Listen, now you're in this family. I'm going to set some rules here.

If you're leaning, you could be clean. No, the kid should be like, like Marge when they come back to the house and she's shaking and the hairs coming out. Like, that should be about where that kid is right now. There is a great thing. So we go to like a control room area where there's all these people making calls and analyzing things. And you have one guy. that they keep cutting back to because I guess this was the dude in the room that had a sag card and he's like, he's got real

dumb ass lines like, how the hell do I know if Russia's fallen? And I'm just like, this keeps getting worse. Nothing. And I mean fucking nothing is as stupid as saying Mother Nature is a serial killer. That's coming up. Yeah, that's right

here. That's right here. Mother nature's a serial killer. She wears clown makeup. It's kids to come into her basement. Mother Nature's Jack the Ripper. She hunts out prostitutes on foggy London nights every week. Mother Nature will wear a cast and ask you to help moving a couch into her van. But don't do it. Don't go into Mother Nature's van.

Mother Nature is such a serial killer. She's actually copying the crimes of other serial killers while she's out there doing her serial killer. What would Mother Nature need with a van? man. Why would God need a stars? Absolutely. But yeah, that's this because this doctor is telling Brad Penn,

it's like, we're going to find it because Mother Nature is a serial killer. She wants to be caught. And she's leaving all these clues. And just when you think it's like the virus is too strong, that's probably the biggest clue of them all. Right. The strength is the way. The weakness is in the strength.

Yeah. The weakness is the weakness. Got it. I just, you know what? Because, like, he says it in the scene. So this is, by the way, we're en route to South Korea at this point. We're on the airplane. And he's doing all that. And you're just

kind of like, who is this for and why? And then the funny thing is, like, later in the movie, Brad Pitt like thinks back to that guy's like whole speech. And you're just like, it was dumb the first time. Somehow

dumber the second time, because it's like he's remembering the entire voiceover. It's like he's doing that. I guess like it's a fake out. We're like, oh, this here comes the new character. Nope. Only Brad Pitt can be in this movie. Literally. No one but Brad Pitt is allowed to be in this movie. Yes, it's weird and bad, but like just randomly killing this guy. It's pretty funny. It's funny. So they land

at the base in South Korea and it's like, all right, you know, we're going to get out and everybody's got to be quiet and our like dudes are going to go out first and all right, it's raining. A couple of guys. guys go out nice and quiet. We're walking across this tarmac and then it's like, uh-oh, zombie time. And like they try to turn tail. A couple of these seals get taken out right here. And then this fucking doctor who Brad Pitt has given a gun. Yes. And he has to say shit like don't stand there with your finger on the trigger. Like clearly this guy doesn't know how to use a firearm. And the dude goes to run back up the fucking walkway to the plane or whatever, the ramp. And he falls

and shoots himself in the head. It's pretty good. What an idiot. Oh yeah. What a total idiot. James Batchdale is right there to make fun of them too a little bit. I appreciate that. It was like, oh wait, so that was the guy. That was our big hero right there just shot himself with the fucking teeth. Excellent. James Batchdale went into his mental closet, got his Iron Man character out.

He'll wear this for today. Absolutely. Yeah, we meet James Bajdale and Michael Wiesman, who are two of these seals here and they, after that fucking hilarious doctor death, they get of course, the untouchable Jerry into the base. And we're

get a little bit of the history here. And like this is where the movie gets kind of interesting for a little bit. Sure. They're talking about like, oh yeah, like all the dudes that, like there was the, the doctor from the base got called into a village to go check out. You know, someone was ill and he went to go check

out what was going on. And the dude fucking got bit or whatever happened. He was there like from the autopsy or something. And they were, it was a zombie. He was the first one tied up and it bites him and he goes back to the hospital and da-da-da-da-da-da turns and they started putting all the infected dudes

like into a jail cell and then at some point they either the zombies lit themselves on fire or they burn them down one of the guys did but it's just it's actually kind of a cool like brand that's just walking in a room full of ash that's a good image and like if you had actually used it to get some dread going yes maybe it'd be something but no of course not how about the dread in the form of isn't north korea scary Dude, this is where we This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life

And we get told it Through a tap dancing David Morris I've never seen him play this cartoonage As an ex-CIA agent who's now imprisoned there at this base Because he was selling arms to North Korea Correct And he does this whole thing, yeah, North Korea

They don't have any any cases Because overnight, 24 hours they ripped out all the teeth of 23 million people. How do you, how does that function that fast? You have to have at least, that means if you're doing 23 million fucking teeth pulls, you have to have at least, to do it in 24 hours, 20 million of those 23 million people have to be dentists. I don't know, I mean, you know, it's just such a stupid thing to say. I think Kim John Oon was watching the Rudolph Christmas special.

And then he watched the abominable snowman get his teeth ripped out. And he's like, say, ooh, oh, the abominable snowman. What's his face had the right idea? You con Cornelia's at the right idea. I also just love the idea. It's like, yeah, they're zombies, but they have no teeth. So it just really hurts. Totally.

I mean, he's doing it's like getting bit by a snapping turtle. He's like doing Marlon Brando in Apocalypse now. He's like, if I only had men who could do something like that. And then he's the one that tells Brad Pitt, that Israel's fine because they are globalist conspiracies. Dude,

and because of the way David Morris has done up in this movie when he says, of course Israel's fine, I was like, where's this movie going? Yeah.

What kind of a character we have here? And did you notice David Morris himself has no teeth in this? This character has no teeth. Because there's a couple parts where he's yelling at Brad Pitt

and his mouth opens and you can see the top gum and there's nothing there. That tells you how fucking bad Mark Forrester is at this shit. Like even something like that gives that character so much more of like to actually focus

and have him bring it like I'm not gonna let anything happen to me or like you yeah you have to give him the line number he specifies like and guess what's even crazier I did it to myself they give lines to fucking Tim Robbins and goddamn war of the world like that's the kind of

oh right I forgot he's crazy in that movie this is a normal this is a character you see in these movies all the time but you have to give them the stage well here's the thing I understand I mean it's insane and it's also not possible why North Korea would put the teeth everyone out of me. Sure.

It's just the stupidest damage I ever thought of. Where do they put all those teeth out of curiosity? Oh, they're making furniture out of it and whatnot. That'd be awesome. A new palace. A new palace for Kim. Yeah, a fucking throne of teeth. That's very cool. Here I sit on a throne of teeth

above the river of blood. Don't forget to whiten my throne this weekend. Put a bunch of crest strips on it. You could have it all. Throne of Teeth. Empire teeth at that point. It could get me. It was spread.

Can I tell you? I was letting Steve Dean and I was watching his mouth and I was like, we could go empire and teeth. And I saw your tongue go to make. And I was like, no, we're doing throne. Okay. That's the North Korea's known from now on, the Empire of Teeth. North Korea could just make a gun that's, you know, you could shoot teeth out of a Kronenberg gun. Yeah, and it could barely go fucking six feet in front of it.

Get John Malkovich on the case, you know. He knows how to build guns. I met Kim, an incredible man and genius, ripped teeth out of 17 million people. Is it ugly? It worked. What does it matter? They don't have the problem. But like, what also, so what I was getting at before, it's just a staggering logistical thing to get over about the teeth.

But then why would David Morris rip his teeth out? What does he care? Like, oh, so like. Case your turns into a zombie. But then they would just make a bit, he'd be a zombie anyway. and then he'd be an ineffectual zombie at that. Like, it matters more that other people don't have to, not me. Right, yeah, yeah.

You're right, that doesn't make sense. But this is the vaccine law. They can get vaccinated. I don't have. I mean, oh, so you think he's just trying to set a good example? All right, guys, I'll go first and then everyone else does it. Well, I mean, he just came from North Korea, presumably over the border. So maybe they did it to him or he drank the Kool-Aid and is all on board.

I mean, that's the whole no-tooth movie, yeah. Any of that shit. is a great idea. The movie just has to care to use any of that. You'd be asking that from a Mark Forston movie. Don't you fucking dare. But that's what's so weird about the way that this movie plays is every single time you meet noticeable actors. Yes.

They're either killed off or we leave and go to a different place in the movie. And the people that he winds up getting sidled with, for the most part, like this Israeli actress that we're about to meet. like she's a total nobody in the eyes of Hollywood so like that's what is okay in this movie but like no fucking way will his partner be David Morris going out and doing shit because I was like okay cool so now this is where he meets James Badge Dale Michael Weissman and they become part of the team oh oh you're just leaving yeah I mean that's that's a great point like you could have freed David Morris it's like yeah he's kind of crazy now we got like we got this fucking dirty dozen energy yes with how Mag it was and eventually he's going to try to

double-crossed you and you kill him and it adds a little, a layer on top of this. All right. That's a crazy guy. Just look out. When you go to sleep, watch your teeth. Watch he's going to try to eat. You ever meet the tooth fairy? I wouldn't go to sleep if I were you. I mean, why have dirty dozen energy, Eric, when you could have King of King's energy and just have Jesus. Brad Pitt to Jesus walking through the zombie untouched. Where does Jesus belong? Israel. We're going next. It's like, all right, I'm going to go. And then all these people, because, you know, I guess they're like, oh, wow, we'll refute fuel your plane. No problem. I'm James Badgedale. This is a mission I can get behind.

Refuel your plane to go to Israel. So they go. They're all on bikes. The bicycle thing is very funny because they're like, listen, we got to do this as quietly as possible, which is why I'm pure cured the rustiest, shangliest, squeakiest bicycles possible. It would be funny if it's like the end of fifth element It's just like he only has so many squirts of WD40 lap Very careful with it I just don't understand why that is preferable To just walking quietly Exactly

You can only pedal so fast on a bicycle Like they're gonna get you anyway If you're trying to outrun them sure Also like we literally just got here I understand Can we just you mind if we just hang out The night wait till morning Maybe the rain will stop

Let's get a fucking shit And maybe then part of the movie wouldn't look like a black smear on the camera. Seeing them take off in the morning, I would have welcomed it. Because, yeah, they're doing it at night. It's, I guess, supposed to be scary. urgency, I guess, as well. Like, I need to cure the world by tomorrow. I'm Brad Pitt.

I'm saving the world, don't you know? Isn't that interesting that I'm perfect? I'm also not qualified for anything aside from fucking bolowing some dude's balls in a fucking kitchen chair. But no, don't worry. I'll fix this one out. Oh, man. And, like, this is, ah, so dumb.

He's riding along, and they just cut to Muriel Eno's laying in bed with the kids back on the battleship. And you see her be like, huh, well, I think I'll call Gary. And, like, you see her sort of, like, look at the phone. She doesn't pick it up or nothing, I don't think. But they, like, cuts back to fucking Jerry. And of course,

this fucking satellite phone starts ringing, ringing, and all the fucking zombies come attack again. She's calling because they had a rough day at battleboat headquarters because they're online for food. And the little girl, and you got, if you're barely in us, you got to be like, we're going to go out tonight, sweetheart. We're going to go to our food. You need to button it up. Because she's like, mommy, this food's terrible. And this guy's like, you know what?

It tastes so bad because there's too many fucking people on this boat. I will shove a little girl off because I've lost my entire family and I don't need to hear this right now. Little girl stew. Totally. This is the best polenta you've ever had, okay? You just eat it up and shut up. I don't like this one. You rock little fucking shit.

You know what? You took all the man's duct tape, take an extra one, just put it over the mouth. Before you leave the room every time. Because I mean like, that's, I do think that there's a version,

I mean, not the Matthew Fox version, maybe not, but like a version where we follow Mary Lina's's journey. a little bit where at least like she doesn't have to suck dick for toilet paper

yeah that'd be great like if she could do something other than suck dick for toilet paper that's right and the thing that's ass is like oh no they sent her to

they sent her to North Korea now they're going to get her teeth no I'm here for my wife's teeth I'll take it out of your throne Kim Jong-un where are your teeth files tell me

I mean the thing that's so unfortunate why did they take all their teeth What is so unfortunate Is that you have Mariel Innos in this movie And she's fucking great If you've ever seen her on the show

The Killing the A&C show She is fucking awesome Would it be easier just to break everyone's legs Or like force everyone to stay at home Yeah Because that's just two bones to break I don't know how many teeth people have Oh yeah

Zombies and wheelchairs That'd be fantastic Yeah wheelies but you're right I mean she's she's good and she's got nothing to do in this movie

like she's got like four scenes and Moses is like is Jerry okay I hope I'm gonna call Jerry it's like how many ways can I dial a phone

and make it interesting I mean really it's so awful and like Jerry is like well I don't want to I might be napping in the middle of I don't want to miss this call

so I would have put my ringer up to extra loud real quick yeah I mean that's the other thing Jare I mean you're riding bikes to be all quiet and shit. Turn that

off. You're going to turn it off during a movie. Turn it off during the zombie invasion. Some of the actors we just met can now just be eliminated from the film. It's great. The most interesting one. Batchdale, who gets bit by a zombie and commits suicide immediately and it's fucking hilarious because there's like a sniper

on the roof. And this dude's just like, give me the word, Sarge. I got you in my sights. And he's just like, that's okay, boys. This one's on me. Gun to head. It's great. I mean, look, it's stupid, but also, like, the way this we tries to differentiate, like, oh, these zombies, they function on sound.

Like, oh, like all fucking zombies? Like, they try and really, you can't make a noise. They're so sensitive to noise. Yes. Okay. Great. Like a lot of predators in movies. All right.

Well, because you would think they're, like, the part of the whole prestige thing is that they're going to give you, like, more, like, whether you want it or not, they're going to give you more detail about how, like, the zombies work. like what actually and I'm like none of that you don't even get that like even Romero had more interesting things about like how zombies operate sure this is just fucking who gives it shit just get Brad Pitt on the camera again my favorite um line before someone sacrifices themselves comes right after the James Badgerdale suicide where like they're refueled they're ready to go and then the pilot's like oh man the fucking hose is still stuck on the plane and this fucking

guy who's like we meet him briefly when they're first flying out he's like lead seal guy yeah that's right and he just turns around he goes all right this israel idea better pay off and he runs out to unplug the thing and gets killed of me yeah that's pretty great now i'm killing myself out here i would love if they finally get to israel and just like no one has teeth welcome to I was like, oh, fuck, I flew all the way for the teeth thing again. Yeah, we got the facts from North Korea. It's going pretty good. Oh, so that's why Galgado talks like that.

Brad Pitt, got me the stone. No, you're doing. Did you understand everybody in the IDF? No, I won't go on a date with you, Shazam. But instead, I'm going to pay Cleopatra and your champagne

to fill the Nile Yeah they are they are prematurely popping that champagne to fill the Nile because it's just a stupid

fucking wall It's a huge wall The funny thing is they're like Oh you know How did you know to build the wall So early I feel like they were just Oh we were just doing it

for the Palestinians. I mean, it just worked out. We had this whole thing. We were to lock all the Palestinians out, but oh, it just... So we took our idea of Palestinian apartheid and just switched out Palestinians and put zombies in it. Oh, even better. We're not even switched out, we put plus.

I'm surprised. I'm surprised you haven't heard. We love walls. We fucking love that shit. We've been doing that forever. We've got one that wails out back if you want to see it. And they're just, just like, everything's great here. Don't worry. We just, you know, we, the government stepped in and did the right thing as always.

The whole line of like, like, they, oh, well, they have a secret government program where I'm the guy that says everyone else is full of shit. The 10th man protocol. And it's like, so they just listen to the 10th man immediately, I guess? Well, it's like, oh, yeah, you're right. Because that line of thing doesn't make any sense. No. When nine people look at something and the 10th one says, that's bullshit.

Then we go and do what the 10th person says. So like, so should be, the 10th man has to work from. the assumption that the nine other people who all agree with one another are wrong. Well, so I guess the entire system of government is based on the wrong thing to do. It's a Costanza. Like, you're right.

That's why they said apartheid. Let's try that. And, you know, the idea of a wall is just dumb to begin with. Like, make it a dome. Put yourself under a dome or something. Stephen King Show had the right idea. Yes, yes.

And the Iron Dome as well. So Brad Pitt's like, wow, that's really interesting. This is a fun. Diversion. We do meet Sagan, who is the Israeli soldiers number two for most of the rest of the movie. He has to seek out this dude Yergan, by the way. This is the guy that's telling him about the 10th man protocol and yada, yada. Yes. But, I mean, it doesn't

fucking matter. And he's just kind of like, yeah, I don't know how else we can really help you, Brad Pitt, because like, should have built the wall three weeks ago, brother. Yeah, exactly. Like, this is this is the deal, man. And he's like, oh, all right. And then the best part is they're letting people in you're letting people in that's very un-Israel of you and he's like well he's like well that's one less zombie we have to kill

think about it that way exactly and so like because it is like such a fucking you know oasis type place at this point people are like singing and playing music and someone uh oh takes a microphone and puts it to the little boombox speaker and the music starts attracting these zombies. And, you know, zombies

proven what a lot of us know already. Walls don't work because you can go over them. Well, they all act like a bunch of bugs or like fire ants at this point. Like little ladders, people ladders. Ford mentality. And it was, because I had seen that part of this movie already, it was when whatever later in the series Walking Dead season opened with something almost exactly,

I think it's called The Horde. And I was just like, nope, it was that moment that I stopped watching the show because I was like, you just rip something from a zombie movie that I couldn't even be bothered to fucking finish.

I'm not going to be bothered to finish this fucking show. And that was the end of it. Because yes, another fucking fire ants is a great way to put it. Fire ant wall of zombies happens there. But of course, so they climb over it in this movie

and start fucking murking people left and right, of course. And then it's like this dude, is like, oh, all right, all of these soldiers here, your number one job is to get our best friend Jerry out of the country. Don't worry about your wives or your children or protecting your actual homeland. This white guy was nice enough to come here and ask me four questions. That's it.

We're going to get him a helicopter. We need to get Jerry out. And he's from the UN, okay? And that means absolutely nothing anymore. That's the thing. It's like, it's the end of the world. What is stopping one of these people who's like, protect this man and all. Coast, just taking the gun, shooting Jerry

and be like, what now? Exactly. What are you doing now? Put me in jail, I guess. Like, it doesn't make any absolutely, I'm going to die for, we're all going to die for Jerry tonight. And so many of these soldiers do lose their lives for Jerry. He's got to get back to the

UN with his lack of knowledge. And by the way, he has a wife, two baby daughters. Oh my God, a sweet, sweet baby daughters. And an adopted son. And I, as a soldier, in the Israeli army have no family whatsoever. They have asthma by

Oh my God. All of them. I'm willing to take a bullet for Jerry for his asthmatic daughter. While Brad Pitt is running around here there's two instances where he starts Sherlocking because he sees at separate points an old

man and then a little boy in both instances the zombies totally bypass these people and he's just kind of like oh He's bald, right? Because I guess cancer. He just starts shaving his head in the little bit of the movie.

He's like, I got it. I got it. No, this dude, though, this Brad Pitt character, wait, the cure to, you know, get these zombies off my back is to shave this beautiful head of hair? I'd rather die. Take me now, zombie, you'll never get this haircut. There's got to be another way. No zombie eat me. Me sick.

Ooh, he card read good. By the way, we do know he is in action mode now because he does have the scarf finally. Oh, yeah. He puts it on during the South Korea expedition. It's a tactical scarf. Of course. Oh, yeah. It scares them off. So we head to the airport and I guess

his plane was already stolen or not. No, it leaves without him. They take off and he's like, hey. That's funny. And then they see this Belarus Airlines is like trying to take off. But first, Sagan gets bit on the hand. Yes. Yes. Sagan, who's

this a female Israeli sergeant that's like following him and she gets bit and like he cuts her hand off immediately and she's like the fuck and he starts counting yeah you know and then he's like okay it's past the 12 seconds or whatever like you're not going to turn later in the movie I mean a few minutes from now it doesn't matter she's just like how did you know that would work and he's like I didn't and she kind of takes this as like an insult or whatever but it's like hey lady got to try it if you didn't do it You were dead anyway, so if it didn't work, you'd be in the same exact position. Look, I don't want you to get, you know, unnerved or anything.

But one day, I'll tell you about how many years I spent chopping off hands. I was quite good at it. You're right, Chris. That is not my first hand, Rodeo. It is way too quick of a reaction. And right like butter. He knows the exact speed you need. Yep, totally.

He's not getting stuck in that pesky wrist bone. No. I used to, uh, fuck. autopsies. They do autopsies. That's what they do. Call me the butcher. I'm sorry.

And it's because this is like so shittily and cowardly and cowardly cut to a PG-13 rating. It's basically like you see him. It's like here's what it's like. It's like when the two nerds in Can Hardly Wait are doing lightsaber, Luke and Darth Vader battle. And then it's like you cut my hand off. And it's just kind of like, erunk.

and then the kid drops the flashlight, that may as well be this. Because it's just kind of like clunk and she goes, oh, oh, yeah, and like that's it.

There's nothing. There's no blood. It's such a bad idea. But he ties it off and now they're both going on Belarus Airlines. I got to want him when he calls his wife.

She's like, yeah, she met this really great girl I cut her hand off. So you had to cut her hand off, huh? Okay. I don't know. I know what that's like,

I remember when you said that I was the only girl who's hand you'd want to cut off. Where did you two meet? Oh, in the middle of a zombie attack. That's interesting. That's interesting. You work together now?

No one else. No men you could cut down her hands off? No, just touch her hand. Oh, but all right. You were the one who had to cut her hand up. There's no one else around that could do it. Oh, yeah, she's pretty. She's very pretty.

Oh, her boyfriend was eaten. That's very, that's very convenient. Sounds like you're having a great time over there. I really hope her pussy wasn't eaten. Hangs up. Sorry, you know what? North Korea is a blowjob paradise. A whole nation of Gumbing.

Oh, totally, dude. That's a fucking complete sanctuary up there, dude. They're just 69 at every night, man. It's everyone's having a great time. Hell yeah. Oh, no. Oh, great. Now they're releasing all the.

footage from North Korea. It's like, dude, you go down to Florida. The fucking village is down there. Dude, all them old fogies are gumming each others and whatnot. They absolutely are. And it's ruled like North Korea. Oh, yeah. Let's get it started. Put on Megan DeStuyans' wet-ass pussy.

And let's get going, girls. Yes. I have decided to ban all transliterature and to rip the teeth out of everyone in Florida. Fuck you. Mickey Mouse This is the debut of the Ron DeSandres

No problem That guy sounds ridiculous It really is funny I never heard what he Now sounded like until recently By the way does Do you have some pudding

It sustains me Much like Dracula with blood I need pudding To keep going There's only when I eat it With my fingers I like it On my mouth

I like being a sticky baby Big white boots I'm a big sticky baby so they're in Belarus Airlines Brad Pitt is on the airplane they get on Brad Pitt's like I don't know if you know this but I'm incredibly special like oh right this way sir

dude yeah because he's a special passenger he calls he calls Terry and he's like hey man we're trying to get out of here you know we need to get to a fucking world health organization facility or whatever close us to what possible and he's like all right hang out a second he's pounding on the cockpit door

and the fucking pilot turns around he's like what what do you want and he's like I think you might want to talk to someone on the phone right now and then it's like you don't hear this conversation and the dude gives the phone back like all right we're going to Wales thank you

oh okay oh for the UN who gives you shit yeah let me just hold on you want to fart into the phone really quickly it's not the UN anymore it's the un authority doesn't exist you fucking maniac

no I want to I'm the captain which makes me the fucking czar of this plane you can't tell me shit but they're flying he has to he does some more medical stuff to Sagan to make sure that her he cleans her bandage and it's a very harrowing scene

with again totally bloodless right but even though the plane landed in Israel which was its destination and then took off again immediately someone on the plane has the virus somehow was just stuck in the bathroom go away yeah it doesn't

make a lot of sense it does not Especially because it takes 12s, it's not another zombie movie where it's like, oh, I'm a little sick, but I'm going to go, but no, you have this stupid 12 second rule. And then we ignore it for this scene to make another little action set piece. It's so funny too.

Of course Jerry's immediately, well, like, well, coach is gone. Only first class will survive. Let's put all these bags. Make sure they don't get out. Make sure they stay there and die. And much like Jerry Seinfeld's like, you know, this curtain really doesn't work.

There really should be a locking door. You know, what is going on back there? You know, you're trying to relax on the flight. Oh, I'm sorry, sir. There's a zombie outbreak in the back of the plane. Another glass of champagne? More everything. Do you really mean that?

Because here it comes. But yeah, their plan isn't great. We're going to use our shitty suitcases to make it a barrier? It's the best you got to. There's no idea. I like this idea where Brad Pitt takes the grenade. and chucks it to make a hole in the plane so that it sucks all the zombies out.

All of a sudden, it's just like, oh, fuck, what is the name of that Michelle Yo movie? I just watched. Oh, the fucking, oh, God, what's it called? Oh, which one is that where they're on the plane? It's her and she befriends. Is it Police Story 3? Royal Warriors?

I think it might be Royal Warriors. The one where, like, she's a cop and she meets two other dude cops on a plane and they overtake like a terrorist attack or something that happens on the plane. including a dude shoots a window and she like pushes the guy's like head through it and his head freezes on the other side of it. I love that scene. It fucking rules. It is Royal Warriors.

Royal Warriors is the one of the thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, it just reminded me about it. Yeah, anyway. But so like, yeah, he grenades all these zombies out of a plane and probably some innocent people too. Well, that's what I was wondering, dude, because like this whole huge hole. Sorry guys are very special.

And it's like, I guess in this instance, maybe it's a, okay that the 12 second rule because like at least you're turning into a zombie before you hit the ground. Yeah. So there's that going for you. And boy it's lucky that it didn't just split the plane in half and just really got to the corner there. Yep.

Just a little hole right there. Yeah, this thing. I want the co-pilot. What the fuck are you doing back here? You know what, man? No one wanted you on this flight. You pushed this fucking phone in my face. Now we're going where some guys telling me to go because of you.

and you throw a grenade at somebody? By the way, I'm about to die. In Jerry's name. Jerry's so special. We crash in whales. Yes. A walkable distance from the world. One of the odds.

From the World Health Organization. Meanwhile, it's important. Brad Pitt has a fucking, like, shard through his body due to the plane crash. Yes. And Sagan is like, you know, now we're best. Oh, so she carried you? you all the way to WHO pretty cozy, it sounds like, it's nice to them.

Oh, yeah, oh, you were impaled with a piece of fuselage and she helped you walk. Oh, nice. Oh, she fingered your orifice there and nursed you back to help. I know, it sounds great. It sounds like you have a real intimate relationship and it sounds like you guys are getting along and like, I love that that's

how you work. And that's how you do these things. Well, me and your daughters, me and your daughters have been removed from the plane because you were too busy with your girlfriend there. That's what I'm. And we're Sucking dick for toilet paper. You know that Tommy boy that's hanging out with us all the time? I had to beg them not to throw him off the boat.

I had to beg them. Oh, the funny thing too, when they, so Brad Pitt like wakes up all dazed and whatnot after the plane crashes and he like hears a zombie noise. He's like, fuck, God, all right. Where's this one? And he looks. And it's a lady zombie who's still buckled into the seat. And you can't get out of that.

and she just sits there the whole time that's kind of great. Again, one of those things where you're like, is this the beginning of like a sequence or a set piece? Yes. And it's just like, how about not? How about we just keep on going? How about we don't care about that at all? Yep. But it's okay because we're getting towards the end. We're getting

to Peter Capaldi, which is what everybody wants. It's just ridiculous that you have so many scenes that add up to nothing and you stitch them all together and this is a two-hour garbage movie. It's nothing because once we get, we do get to the WHO. Brad Pitt passes out and then he wakes up

three days later there is a great yeah there's a great scene with Terry it goes up to Karen Marilyn Neas like so listen and dude once again to my complaint that she's fucking awesome sure

you don't give her any kind of reactions she's just on a boat in three seconds because it you know it's so bad news your husband's pretty much dead and sorry about that. But maybe worse news, you're going to a refugee camp. That is the funniest thing is like,

well, the dude who was your fucking meal ticket to this boat is dead. So get the hell out of here. Look, Eric Prince is waiting for a place to sleep. He doesn't know where he's going to get his next meal. So if you guys aren't being used anymore, he'll help us. Yeah, you were a plus one and the invitee is no longer here. We're all the plus ones to Nova Scotch. Canada's plus one capital of the nation. Even in this incredibly Brad Pitt-centric movie, she could do something like, well, Jerry isn't dead because Jerry's the best.

I guarantee you, Jerry's going to call you and he's going to solve this whole durn thing. She says nothing. She's seen nothing. She puts up no fight. They get on this helicopter and they're out of the movie. They're out of the movie. They're gone. You've never seen a refugee camp at all.

Well, at the very end, right? for the split seconds. Yes, very, very, very. So he wakes up and Peter Capaldi is giving him the business. Peter Capaldi is a doctor inside the WHO. Make your own joke there. They were. They were because the production had advanced notice that he'd been cast as the doctor. So isn't that fucking funny for nobody. It's very funny. It's so fucking funny. Oh, my God, that's fucking funny. I am the doctor. Hello. Hi. No, it's weird because like this is, he was not the biggest deal yet. So he's playing the number two.

Yes. Which is so weird. Like, it's Peter fucking Capaldi. He's going to steal the show. Who's the other guy with the beard? Like, no, I don't know. Oh, he's, he's an Italian actor. Yeah.

In a bunch of things. Okay. I wrote down something later on my notes. He's like the boss and like, that's the thing Brad Pitt's such a genius. He's like, why do you keep looking at him? And he's like, because he's your boss and I'm a genius. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

What does he say? It's like, it's even cooler than that, Steve. He's like, because he's the one in charge. Yeah. I don't know if you know this, but I'm just. Oh, my God, we have Jerry. I had no idea Jerry was going to be here. Oh, it's an honor, Jerry.

Oh, prepare Ruth Nagan now. She's going to lose her shit when she finds out jerry's in the house. She comes in, Ruth Nek has got a fucking Brad Pitt t-shirt on who says, Jerry. My God, it's Jerry. It's the Jerry. Jerry comes up with the idea that we need diseases in order to, you know, to be immune from the zombies. Right, because predators don't want to eat diseased meat. But the problem is all of our great diseases are in the B wing.

And the B wing is chock full of Zambis. Could you believe it? A couple of Ziques down that hallway. Oh, yeah, yeah, dude. And, like, it was at this point in the movie where I just, I had had enough. And I think what's kind of funny is the movie itself has enough because Brad Pitt has some kind of line that's basically like, and what happened to Z wing, like, whatever it is, you know? And it's like, we've just.

It's the same thing as like we're at the fucking Korean base. Yes. Oh, but the gas pump is way over here. We're getting on little bikes again. Yep. In the lab, in the lap, they, they watched some footage about what happened to Bewing. And in the lab of the World Health Organization, there is a guy with, I'm not kidding you, just like the basic COVID mask and nothing else handling the super zombie serum.

No, no, no, none of those glove things that are in the box. and that you go in and do the thing. No, no, no, no. Why don't you just lick it and see how it tastes? But also, it's amazing when the sequence is like, yeah, you know, and like, everyone's like, you're mad, Jerry. It's like, no, actually, I saw it like two to three times. Like, well, it's worth a try, so we're going to do it.

And I guess we'll have to figure out who is going to have to, like, take that disease and meet her. And they have this, like, this other zombie in another room in the A-wing or whatever, right? And, like, she's wearing a lab coat. Yeah, it comes, like maybe a collie. It comes, it's, this movie loves to load. Chekhov's gun and then put it in a box somewhere and lock

the box. There's several guns. Don't want this going off in the movie. Exactly. It's like, oh yeah, we'll just Chekhov's gun, we'll put that right here. I don't want that. They want that going off. In the third act, my God. You don't want that happening. So it's a stupid

sequence where it's like, oh, it's tense. We've got to walk around all these Zambis. And everyone's fine. Brad Pitt gets trapped into the disease room where we wanted to be anyway. The other two or three members of the party, what the Israeli girl and the guy in charge. I looked him up.

His name is Pierre Francesco Favino who's been in a ton of Italian TV and movies, but played Christopher Columbus in that first night of the museum movie. So those two characters run back fine and close the door. That's when I was like, okay, clearly this is when that zombie

is getting out of the cave. It's going to happen. Gets all of them in the command center. That would be pretty much. That's like a zombie movie that might happen because something they go I mean it just takes a while you know what I mean like they go really Tippy to Brad Pitt Sagan and the other guy they're like we're going to go and everyone's like

it's so dangerous but you'll have to go okay this is where it gets the most video gamey too because it's like walk and get to the freezer with all the viruses without any of the zombies spotting you I was amazed this actually did come out I think the year the same year as last

of the first last of us game. Oh, really? And I was like, because there is a, it's in the show, too. There is one sequence that is literally just this. You got to walk quietly. Walk and quietly. So nobody sees you in a lab. Like, oh, in a lab too?

Oh, shit. Yeah, but this is, this sequence is so boring for me. Yes, it is. And I'm so, I'm so tired of it by now and just being quiet around. I'm like, shut the fuck up. It doesn't get interesting until it's just him and the other one zombie outside. And even then, I'm just like, end this movie. I'm so.

Well, first of all, Deiast X Mountain Dew almost done in by a can of Mountain Dew because he just like walks into this and kicks this can across the room. It's clanging and clinking. Almost killed by Mountain Dew saved by Pepsi. That's how it works. Two flavors of America. Sam family of sodas. That's true. That's good. It should have been. We're like, hey, what the fuck? Hey, Pepsi. What the fuck? You're right. I mean, it should have been like he kicks a fucking can of Diet Coke and a zombie does come out and kill somebody. And it's like, man, that Coke is. That Coke is. dangerous. Not drinking that. Pepsi saves the day at the end of the movie. It is just crazy though in a zombie movie because I mean that's the thing is it once we get to the hospital it starts to act like a regular regular zombie

movie where we're like in closed quarters there's all the zombies over there we're safe over here but of course we're not because that's how zombie movies have to work but they all survive. Every single one of them. I've never seen anything like it and they kill like two and a half zombies in this sequence because they're like oh

here you get the bat you get the you get the axe all right and I'm like maybe something do can I wake up from the couch no I should that axe does nothing but propado are you kidding so fucking dull so let's just get to the injection part those he is basically they get separated like you said eric Sagan and the other guy just get back safely and they're like oh my god we left brad pit and he's stuck in this this room that has all the diseases in it he grabs it he writes a sign that's a tell my children I love them because there's a zombie waiting outside the door for him. Well also the guy the Italian guy says there's like a whole he takes a bunch of shit

into this box of diseases. And he's like well I hope he doesn't like use half of those because those would just straight up fucking kill you. He says something about like if he took anything from the shelf on the left there's nothing we can do for it. And I'm like well with the fucking trajectory of this movie I'm sure it's

something from the right. They're all supposed to be lethal. What is the, I guess there's lethal diseases you can instantly cure. Because once he gets out of there, they just give him like the antidote injection. And I'm like, what? Scarlet fever goes away pretty quick. I need to know what he got. They never, they never tell you.

And that's, you know, it's insane. Again, would be an interesting, even that is a detail. Something I can latch on to. Oh, no, it's chronic diarrhea. Well, Jerry's just been shitting in there for hours. No one The zombie lost interest Well that's the thing

Maybe like oh yeah The smell Fecal matter Yeah they don't like that And then just like Finally my dream Just shit wherever Yes

And now we get to see Shots of people All over the country Like covered in shit Put in their shit On themselves And walking around And then North Korea's like

You guys look ridiculous You should have pulled out your butt holes Anyway and I mean it tells you that the Italian guy definitely thought this was not going to work because you would think before you fucking send him out there be like look there's this one shelf and it is just going to fuck your shit up do not go near it yep and but no like just go in do it even more like moments in that room where it's just like okay move the camera up and down yeah exactly I thought I thought that's what was going to happen

But no, instead, he just walks out of there, opens the door, it's fine. And then he goes and gets a delicious fucking Pepsi. Which after a hard day's work of saving the planet, well-earned. You prove that you have this solution to the thing that has been killed over half the world, it seems like. And you're going back to the people who are going to facilitate this getting to everybody. Yep. And before you do that, you have to stop and drink a pep, a can of Pepsi. Hey, it's an alpha move, dude, sorry.

Oh, is it? And then he kicks the, what, the open dispenser. That's the thing. It has a practical use because he has to move the zombies away from the door. So he's way down in another hallway. And yes, knocking all the cans on the floor distracts them. But the fact that before that happens, he's got to crack one and chug. Oh, yeah.

Fuck of that. Dude, that is embarrassing. Like Brad Pitt, you should be embarrassed that you agreed to do that. And I mean, it's just such a jack. off moment. It's like a, it's a perfect shot of him walking while all the zombies and like, oh my God did it. He's so handsome and he's

so heroic and he's drinking Pepsi like a hero would. All the famous here, Indiana Jones Luke Skywalker chugging Pepsi. Now I want to see Kylie Jenner try to give a Pepsi to zombies. Oh yeah, yes, the Pepsi to the soldier.

I'd like to give the world Oh, that was a Coke song. Anyway, it was still funny. So, yeah, he fucking gets out. They're like, oh, my God, he's done it. Oh, my God. I knew it. I knew once Jerry was here.

We were safe. Thank you, Jerry. Ruth Bologna pulls her shirt opens the t-shirt. That's what Edward, who abdicated the throne was saying. He was sympathetic to the Nazis. He was sympathetic to the Nazis. The Brits called them Jerry's. That's right.

And then get ready for some convenient montage and it's like, oh yes, don't worry, that all worked out. But it didn't but he's very pointed to be like, it didn't solve the problem, but just camouflaged it. We say camouflage like four times. This third act

couldn't even believe it. But it's just so crazy that like there's and they keep showing the stuff which I assume is from this other cut. Like these war scenes, I'm like, hey, that look. pretty sharp. That looks pretty interesting. And here's the thing. They do such a bad, bad job at making that crystal clear film scene footage look like news footage that when

you're watching, because of course we got to splice in news footage of like unrest. So it looks like war torn whatever. But then we're literally just cutting the scenes from movies. Yes. You can tell so hard. And like this is all being intercut with him just getting back to Merriely. You know, gets to Nova Scotian, no problem over there. Yep. No one's even got a fucking bandage. At least that one of his kids should just have one eye. And it's like, oh, that's... Oh, yeah. What was the story there?

Oh, you know what it means. I mean, it looks like an R.E.I commercial. It does. It just has like a winter wetware. It's really clean and brand new. Yeah. No, thank you. We're going to drink this Pepsi and shop at Patagonia. Anyway, that's the end of the movie. It is because he's just like... And we

just did it. That's... But the war is just beginning. Don't worry. you're not going to believe this. World War ZZ. Do you know who was supposed to direct World War Z, too? Fincher. Fincher. Fitcher was on board for like three months. You don't start

lower and go up. Start up and go lower. I should tell you where Fincher was at the time. He was looking for work because nobody is like A, we're not paying you as much as you want. A. And B, like we're not going to give you the kind of control you want. Like, it's just not going to happen. What was this

betwixt with him? Like social Network, obviously, it was already out. Remember, Girl of Dragon Tattoo, I mean, I love that movie, but it did not do the numbers. It was supposed to do. It was like, what, 2011? I still haven't even seen it. And then there was, I forget what the one is between that. Oh, Gone Girl. Oh, Gone Girl. And Gone Girl again was just like, I love that movie, but like, like Girl Dragon Tattoo, it was supposed to be a breakout insane hit and it was just a hit. Yeah. But yeah, that's the end of the movie a real you're not going to believe this the war is still going this is me on my zombie outpost signing off for now or whatever the fuck right i think the

last yeah the war has just begun or something yeah we've only just begun to do stupid world war z movies um yeah that's the fucking end of it thankfully uh just about two hours that was a real pain final thoughts and recommendations eric siska uh yeah my my final thought is no. No, I didn't like it in 2013. My God, 2013. And I didn't like it now. It's just tedious. I mean, I see what they're trying to do with having like a globe trotting adventure during all this, but I do not think it's pulled off. So it's a not recommend for me across the board. Chris Cabin. Oh, yeah. A terrible movie. And like to what Eric was talking about, it would be great if something like that had globe trotting like zombie, like you have to deal with

the whole world dealing with it. But then Jerry has to be a character. I'm sorry to say. Oh, yeah. And you can't just be daddy who also knows a world horror health organization shit. Like that, it has to be more than that. He has to have some interiority.

And I just, I find this movie abhorrent. Like the way that it like tries to do like the clean prestigious, like I think that's why I get really itchy whenever someone's like elevated horror and you shit like that. I'm like, this is kind of what they're thinking about. And I do not want any more of this. Stop this now. And it hasn't gone any further, so thank God.

Yeah, I'll just say, still off zombies would not recommend this total fucking travesty of a movie. Real embarrassment for everyone involved. That should be totally ashamed of themselves. What a failure. Steve, say that. Yeah, it's going to take a lot for me to go back to zombies. And Last of

us, I gave it a shot and I get that the mushrooms are different. Listen, I only watched two episodes. People who enjoy that show, they should enjoy that show. But for me, I just know the beats. I know that there's going to be the grocery store scene. I know that there's going to be the scene where we're like creeping around. Will the zombie ever hear us?

Oh, no, it hurt us and blah, blah, blah. And I mean, like, I just, I find all of those beats really boring at this point. It would take a real like reinvention or just, which, I mean, which Danny Boyle did in the early aughts. And that's why that's why this whole zombie boom happened. Good for him. He doesn't get a ton of credit for it. But like, it just, it's, it's, I've seen it all. And this movie has nothing because it's not even a horror movie and it's not even really exciting or even thought provoking.

It doesn't even talk much about like what the end of the world could be, man. You know what I mean? It just sort of doesn't even do that stuff. It doesn't want to do any of it. And then it just ends with Pepsi. So no thank you. But that is going to do it for this episode of We Hate Movies. We All got to go crack an ice cold Pepsi ourselves here.

But feel free to head over to patreon.com slash we hate movies. for even more exclusive we hate movies content, including a banger re-love movies episode on Jimmy Guns, Guardians of the Galaxy. We got the singer from Jabba's Palace there. Yes, yes. She was credited as Fat Dancer in the end credits of Return of the Jedi, and we're going to talk about her for about 20 minutes or so

as a little bonus content for you, folks. An AD on Rugrats, Melro 210 is coming up. Yes, and of course the Nexus, our Star Trek, recap show is trucking along. We've been recapping the original series and the next generation. So get into it. I got to tell you because I just remembered that I believe

that this month's Melro 2 and O at least the Melro, the 902 and no portion is real. There's a lot of Jim Walsh in this one and the episode in question is called Mexican standoff. You want to subscribe to hear Chris Cabins really upset already. I can't wait.

And I will say at the time of this recording we've yet to lay it down but I do believe that by the time this episode airs we will have put out a very special me and Steve recapping the third season of Star Trek Picard which I think is one

of the most fantastic bits of science fiction television in a long fucking time so we've been doing a very special one episode only just sending off making it so that was the Picard recap show we did season one on we didn't have time to

do season two. So we're going to be talking season three in all its fucking glory. You can get that on the Patreon as well. But here on the main feed the show continues next week, Steve, where are we going? Oh, we are we're revving it up next week. And we're globetrotting still.

Fast and the furious Tokyo drift. Oh, yes. Indeedly do. There's a lot to talk about in that movie. And of course Fast X coming out, the conclusion to the saga. The good news is we're going to be talking about the least consequential Fast movie of the one

where most of it just got thrown out. The one without the guys. The one that doesn't have any of the people. Without any of the guys that you loved. I mean, you know, Han is there, of course. But that's a lot if you're really into it. Exactly. So all that,

of course, we'll be talking about the fast franchise which always a sequel, which is planned to serve as the 11th and final. No. So there's going to be a sequel to the one. Dude is just, you know what? That's, you know what? That's dumb. But anyways, next week, gang, we'll be talking about Tokyo Drift. Can't wait to see you there. Until then, I've been Andrew Jupon. Steven Zadak. Eric Cisker. Chris Cabin. Take it easy.

That was a hate gum podcast.