We Hate Movies - S13 Ep680: Transformers: Rise of the Beasts

Episode Date: June 13, 2023

The Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza goes to Red Alert for this special Emergency Episode all about the brand-new Transformers motion picture, Transformers: Rise of the Beasts! Caution: if you have not yet seen this movie, we’re talking a blue streak about it this week, so yes, spoilers abound! Hey, why do these Maximals have hair? Why does Unicron look like a giant chocolate starfish? Who can we thank for the awesome soundtrack? Why didn’t they realize that Dominique Fishback’s character isn’t addressed by name until 30 minutes into the film? And wow, that giant cloud of smoke over Manhattan sure was prescient, wasn’t it? PLUS: Unicron gets the wrong Burger King order from Grub Hub! Transformers: Rise of the Beasts stars Anthony Ramos, Dominique Fishback, Luna Lauren Vélez, Tobe Nwigwe, Michael Kelly, and the voices of Ron Perlman, Peter Dinklage, Michelle Yeoh, Pete Davidson, Liza Koshy, John Dimaggio, David Soblolov, Michaela Jaé Rodriguez, Colman Domingo, Cristo Fernández, Tongayi Chirisa, and the legendary Peter Cullen as Optimus Prime; directed by Steven Caple Jr. Looking for more WHM-related content? Check out the hours and hours of exclusive bonus content on our Patreon! Check out the WHM Merch Store featuring new Tour 2023, KONG, DILF Den, Grab-Ass & Cancer & SW Crispy Critters designs! Advertise on We Hate Movies via Gumball.fm Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast. This week on the program, get ready for Pete Davidson by the barrelful, because we're talking Transformers, colon, rise of the beasts. I'm Andrew Jupin. I'm Steven Sannack from the Bronx, which is about 40 minutes away from Brooklyn. Brooklyn, baby. Brooklyn. Chris, Rise of the Cabin.

Brooklyn. Brooklyn. And we hate movies. Hello everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning into this very special. Oh my God. Brooklyn, baby. Oh my God. Brooklyn. That's right. Brooklyn. Folks, you can feel the excitement in the air. We're here doing an emergency broadcast episode. Had to happen. Had to happen. Keeping the tradition up here. Brooklyn. Brooklyn. I have to say, it's not a tradition. We flubbed our own thing because we never did an episode on Bumblebee. We did. But yeah, it was basically because we did the last night when that came out. We did that's what we did. All our Transformer. episodes. Right. And then Bubblebee came out and were like, eh. But this is like the return of a Transformers movie. Right. Bumblebees is like a one-off thing. It's a separate

world. Right. It's a different dimension. I mean, I mean, bumblebee is from this universe, but they do what I like about the movie is that they don't constantly beat you over there. Like, do you know the Optimus Prime is also here? And also Starscream and who gives it shit? So Optimus Prime wasn't in the bumblebees. I don't remember. He might be in like one scene. I don't remember. It's been a minute. I don't know if he was like a

one scene that he just calls him up. Hey man, how's it going? Wow, that sounds crazy. Yeah, I'm pretty busy over here. Have a great time. Bye bumblebees. Do you have a new girlfriend? What's her name? Ali Steinfelds.

She sounds awful young for you, bumblebee. I'm just going to put it out there. These guys are billions of years old. They're billions of years. Quite old. This movie was directed by Stephen Cable Jr. you will probably know one thing and one thing only he directed

Creed 2. Yes. I think he's just done like music videos. Did an indie that's not bad called The Land before that. And that, I mean, I think that got, what's his name? Cigler, yeah. Interest in him and that's how Crete 2.

Because I think this dude shot the first, was he a D.P. That sounds right. That sounds right. And he welcomed me to the movies the other day. That was nice. Oh, really? You got a little video? I did not get a video so please explain this video.

No, it's just sort of like, oh, you know, thanks for coming to see our Transformers movies in theaters. And I went to talk about it. Oh, sure. And, you know, it's the best place to see it. And, you know, we worked really hard. You know, I hope you enjoy all these new designs on the Autobots. And I was like, I didn't see it.

I don't. Hey, you know, if you want to bring some blueprints next time and tell me what you think changed about these robots. Exactly. Before and after. It's funny how that beak moves a little But yeah, that's a lot of doing stuff. Maybe it's there in the other movies, but I noticed it more in this one.

A fucking Optimus Prime's rocking these windshield titties. Yeah, I love them. They're pretty cool. You can see through them a little bit. You play with his windshield wipers. That's like the nipples. It makes so much sense, though, because his nipples would be in a glass

because they're so much more sensitive. Oh, you know what I mean? It's like the rest of these metal, but oh, my, oh, my glass. Stay away from my glass titty. Well, that's the thing is your nipples. are always going to be cracked then. I mean, look at this shit he's doing all this. It's a fetish to get the safe light guy out there.

Fix it for me, Jared. Dude, yeah, because they got to insert it with like those big suction cups that you see him in the safe light commercials. Look who's got new hooters. Come on, Jared, do it slower. I'm trying to enjoy myself. I've got a double D now. Thank you.

No, Starscream. I can't hang out this weekend. I'm still recovering from the tit job I had last week. Would you like to? watch. Sometimes I like to have my friends watch. This is the whole point of doing Transformers. There's some real people. There's real people

listening in addition to the robots. Oh, in the movie. That it's okay to like a movie. And if you love this franchise, like, more power to you because you're going to give more power anyway. Listen to the end. I'm pretty bit, I'm not, I don't, I'm in the middle. Like, I don't love this movie. I don't hate it like with all of my core, but I just kind of never

gave a shit about Transformers. That's the thing. It's like I was never, I was never a big Transformers kid, but, you know, spoiler alert from the end of the episode. Like, I didn't hate this and actually I was kind of fine with it. I mean, we'll get into it. But, and then, but here's the thing, folks. Brooklyn. Don't, don't. Beke. First of all, Brooklyn. Brooklyn, baby. Brooklyn. Brooklyn. Brooklyn. The bridge, too. Did anyone get a count? It's got to be humongous. But it doesn't pick up until the end of the movie. Yes. That is just nonstop. You get things. like, you know, I never should have left Brooklyn. We in Brooklyn. Brooklyn. You know why that fuck it is? It's because Elena, who we will get to,

Dominique Fishback and the main character, I'm forgetting his name. Nathan Ramo says Noah. Yeah. They like have nothing to share. There is nothing connecting them other than Brooklyn. Brooklyn. You get these West Coast screenwriters and like,

how do people in New York talk? Well, they love saying Brooklyn. Especially in the 90s era, because this is a, remember, period piece. That's right. Hi, hey, man. Thanks so much. Yeah, let me get a white slice, got a Jamaica beef patty inside Brooklyn, of course. And, you know, take a Stewart's soda, Black Cherry, please.

Thanks so much. A side of Brooklyn. Brooklyn, Sam. Brooklyn. Oh, Brooklyn, Brian, Brooklyn, and Brooklyn to you. But Brooklyn is, I think Brooklyn is the most yellable borough. Oh, yeah. Because watch this, right?

It doesn't work. Staten Island Manhattan, Manhattan, yeah. Well, it's more like, Staten Island, do do do, do, do, do, Queens. Yeah, you have to be really angry

with Queens. You can't just do, you can't look, Brooklyn, it's, it's, it's, Queens. Even Bronx, you go,

you go, you go boogie down. You would always move to the, you just say boogie down instead of the Bronx. People would know what you're talking. Wait, it's, so it's buggy down to you. The boogie down Bronx, my friend.

Well, that's where I'm right. That's right. That's right. We're getting funky up town. It's beautiful. In proud, Transformers fashion. You know, we always got to point out the alternate

production company openings. This is, of course, Paramount, the proud property owners of this IP. Nothing visually changes, but you do have like robot sounds as the stars are dancing across the screen. Robot stars. Actually, that whole

mountain there, yeah, that's a transformer right there. Oh, you don't know it. And Hasbro, man, that Hasbro title card, because we are entering, which we'll talk about for maybe 55 minutes. Hell yeah. A cinematic universe. I can't wait. You know what? Bring on the garbage.

I was in a, I was in a virtually empty theater and it's not a knock against, you know, the interest of the movie. It was of 11 a.m. screening on a Friday. You were so eager. I just, oh, of course. Wait, literally all three of you

saw before I did. I know. I know. I know. No, but. Well, I did it for work. I don't know why you did it. What do I do? Just very different reasons. Look, Brooklyn, sorry. I just yelled, what?

At that part, we will get to it. I love it. I think interesting, interesting thing for this movie that I think helps it a lot and it speaks to the Brooklyn of it all. Sure. In a lot of ways. But setting it in 94 allows it to have this fucking awesome hip hop soundtrack.

They must have spent more money on this than they did on any of the animation. I'm starting to think that the Spotify stuff and all that must have really hit music right stuff in a way where it can't be as much because, I mean, this is it's music I like a lot

more. Yeah. But it is in line with all recent blockbusters. It's playlist. Yeah, it's jukebox. Yeah. Just throw as whenever you have downtime and don't have a creative decision to throw on the screen, put on a song. But at least this is all like period appropriate curation.

And it's not just hodgepodge. Like, sorry, that Garden's 3 soundtrack is not a curated anything. It's also just so weirdly deployed. Like, the first and last song specifically are so weird to open or close a movie. I'm just like, all right, whatever, man. Yeah, these, I mean, these tunes hit much better, except for there is one part where a Biggie Small song is playing. And fucking Pete Davidson as Mirage just yells out, Wu, Tang!

And I was like, yeah. That may that be the joke. That's a joke. No, no, no, no. Listen, he's a very smart performer. He's above my level. I don't know what he's doing. it's not a fucking joke because the song

is non-diogenic at that point. The fucking robot doesn't know what song is on, right? It's not a joke. It's a stupid thing that happens in the movie. I did. I actually made a note of that and you guys know that you guys know music in general better than me and even I spotted that and it was distracting. Yeah, it took me right out of it.

We start on planet, I don't even know what. The maximal home world. No, well, I think I read online that it was a planet that was colonized, Well, they're suddenly driving their trucks down your street. How would you like it? That is something that they sort of dance into in this movie when Optimus Primal later on and, you know, get a little ahead of ourselves here.

But he totally talks about how the maximals, their whole thing was we go from planet to planet, all these young planets helping the civilization. This is ancient alien shit we're going to here. And I think that's what it is. like they just happen to be helping that planet at the time because it's not just like the borg. Help her. Help her. Yeah. Just like the borg. What an older being finds something young and full of life. It's really helping. Help her. But we do get like there's a little narration here. I think it's from Peter Cullen as Optimus. Yeah. I mean, I could tell you it's been three days.

Far from Brooklyn was a planet known as Brooklyn. Oh, it must be, it must be from Optimus Prime's point of view because he calls him the vile God. Unicron. It's all the shit about... Let editorializing Optimus. Just give me the facts. Give me the straight facts here. Totally.

You know what Optimus Prime? Why don't you let me make up my own mind about this unicron? Okay. God Unicron. The God Unicron. And which we learn, which I totally forgot or it totally forgot from the last night is this is now, not only is this, because this is my question, this is a prequel, or I think we're in an alternate timeline because.

in the last night Earth turns out to be Unicron if you remember which you don't because you watched three years ago but like no it's like something something he like oh we're reawakening

Unicron and it's like oh my God Earth is Unicron bro and like that is what that movie is so therefore Steve you're making a classic mistake okay and thinking there's any continuity to any this is the one franchise where they're like

Fuck it. Whatever happened. Last movie happened. We're on to the next thing. I mean, it's maybe not a direct prequel, but of course it takes place before the Walberg movies and the Shia movies and everything. Could Unicron impregnate the Earth? I don't know.

Possibly. I don't know. It seems sexual. What am I trying to ask anyone? We're just talking about pregnant. Pregnant planets. That's important. So the last night, Mark Wahlberg, he's walking around.

Oh, this was, I was going to ask Chris because he's the only other one that saw it. when is bumblebee supposed to take place? It's supposed to be in the 80s, I think. It's the 80s, right? That's what I was, this is a direct sequel to Bumblebee. Maybe early 90s, maybe early 90s. This is 94. So like that's, if it was like 90, 91, that would make sense.

Which is all before that. But again, like, if Unicron is Earth, then what? If that's, how does that relate to the robots know, though, that not in Bumblebee? Not in Bumblebee. Not in the whole time in that last? No, they find out. Like, that's like the twist of the movie. Well, so they don't know.

And so they, you know, they're still just thinking they need to get back to their home planet, but they've been on the home planet the whole time. No, no, Unicron is the monster. Cybertron. Yeah. CyberTron. Yeah. So what are you saying? Unicron, the bad guy in this movie was in the last night was Earth. Oh. And the Earth can gobble. Exactly.

And he's on first as well. Yeah, seriously. Well, to that I'll just say there's a weird detail at the end of this movie when it's fucking spoiler alert, they defeat him, such as it is, and close this portal. Optimus Prime says something about like, he's stuck somewhere and he's not

it's sort of like a space between spaces thing maybe and that sort of plays into it I don't know well there's a thing is no one none of the robots die none of them can die the bad guys don't die in that way it's like the cartoon we battled and now we're fucking off you know what no one robot could die this

ape link eats shit in the beginning of this movie and also Michelle Yo's birdie boy there yeah whatever the bird boyfriends you got a bird boyfriend Ravenclaw no that's Harry Potter. What the fuck is the name of hers? I don't know. But let's talk about that. Aries.

She gets murdered. Air Razor. There it is. Air Razor totally gets murdered also. I think ApeLink looks awful. He does. It's been like hair plugs or something. Yeah. Not great. Oh, no, no, no Ape Link. No one could tell. It looks great. Hey, Starscream. Did you

you see what Aplink's doing over there? I mean, I told them nobody can notice, but come on, man. Open your eyes. Leave them alone. It's been working with the ladies. It's about confidence, not necessarily reality. You're right. If it's fine for him,

it doesn't matter what we think. Juicy, that piece of ass he picked up the other day. Just a quick question. Can he get it wet or what? Like, is it a weird thing where it's gonna, is it gonna come off in the rain? I was thinking of having a pool party this summer, but I don't want to invite him and

make him feel uncomfortable having to possibly swim. Just a huge black puddle around him. Oh God, it's his hair dyes dripping off like Rudy Giuliani we learn

so the Aplink and is a buddy of our friend Optimus Primal voiced by Ron Perlman right Ron Perlman with the modulation

it just sounds like your speakers are blown out what's totally what's the fucking pull up to the first window

give me a hammer no there's no there's no fucking point why would you hire names like this because you

only really want to have, say, like, Ron Perlman's on our movie. Fucking Michelle Yo's in our movie. Dinklid. I watched this movie days ago because I was so excited. And I had no idea of Peter Dinklage was in until right now. Of course not. Because it does, like literally in this case,

it's only about the names, but the names aren't even used in the promotional material. It's for people who are in IMDB, be like, oh my God, that was Peter Dinklage. The only one that sounds like you can you can definitely tell is Pete Davidson. Well, yes. Because it's just all Pete David.

Net him riff. You know. Let him riff, baby. A little, it's not a, I don't, I was surprised Pete Davidson could do this. Yes. Because usually Pete Davidson's so low energy, that's his thing. It's like, I'm just cheering again fucking Coke and pussy has it going, guys. Yeah.

But to him, for him to do a pretty family friendly, like big, boisterous character. Well, he did. I didn't enjoy it. But I was surprised that. he could do it. Family friendly though. I mean, he's got that one joke about you were inside me. Oh, and once again, cut to me in the theater yesterday morning. What?

I was surprised. Just in terms of him getting that cadence, like doing a real voice. I totally agree with you. And I wonder if it's a thing where he's just a dude that's like grossly uncomfortable on camera. And it's like, you know, because he started as a standup. Sure. And so like, you know, you don't got to be worrying about cameras there.

And then you get into like SNL. And all of a sudden you're like being filmed everywhere. and he's like awful in, you know, fast X that bullshit cameo that he's got there. I like him in Bodies, bodies, bodies, but that's like, but that's like exactly what he should be doing. Yeah, right, you know, accidentally fucking cutting his own throat. I know I'm from TV commercials.

It seems like that's his main job. He's good at that as well. But I don't know, even in those, he seems like, I wish I didn't have the cameras on me. And I think for this where it's like, he's just in a recording studio and he can kind of do whatever, maybe some of that like self-aware, nervousness kind of goes away.

He needs to be, I think it's kind of a good, I mean, it's not good, but it's an example for a lot, like, I can also do nothing and be everywhere. I can also be a lazy piece of shit and just be famous for being funny. Like, I understand, like, I like Pete Davidson, I think

more than most people in this room. And I even get, like, the whole thing is he puts no effort in. Like, that's the whole thing, until something like this, where I'm like, okay. Yeah, he seems to actually be, look what happens early so we learned the whole thing is

they are trying to protect this trans warp key from getting into the hands of Unicron because if he gets that he can jump throughout space and time planets much faster huge coup from a bad dragon for designing this trans warp key it's a really I don't know what that matter

they're a dildo company they are a Steve no problemo they are a dildo company is this an ad is a sponsor by them double-sided. It does work. It looks really nice. Reach out. You do some ass-to-ass. They design like monster dildos. Like dildos like a monster my... I would love to advertise monster dildos on the program.

Sure, totally. If you want to be fucked like a character and a Japanese cartoon, you buy these dragon dicks. Yeah, it does look like a big neon orange dildo. Yes, it does. It does. Yes. But of course, it's first... Well, okay, it's here, here it's on, it's not... This is before it's in the Maltese Falcon, right? Yes.

we are we are still on this and it's uncut at this point too too by the speaking of it we're still on the maximal home world or colony or who the fuck knows because you know Scourge just beat the shit out of

to Aplink and he's just like everyone can tell and it's like no and they like rips his arms off and steals his is like little logo oh

sure Aplink you can have the trans warp key, you just have to get it at the bottom of the deep end of this swimming pool. No! Scourge, by the way, looking like Super Shredder. Yeah, very

super shreddery. Well, they all look like that. The leader of the terror cons were told. And Scurge has something going on at the end, like he removes a faceplate and his mouth is all fucked up. Because he was burned. Something happened to his actual like transformer face and he has like an MF Doom

thing going on over his. I just got to get in here now real quick with the Unicron and Scourge thing So it's a A god being Yes that can Which also just looks like a robot by the way That devours planets

And before it devours planets It sends a really Super strong herald of sorts To let the planet know that things are going to go down And to destroy any weaknesses on that planet It's a lot like Golioli of the Silver Surfer. It's a lot like the Galactus of the Silver Surfer. It is.

And I'm not going to sit here and, you know, argue about which came first or if this was part of Transformers or whatever. It absolutely came first. Well, I'm just showing to say... We can never really know. No, we can. I'm just going to say they're grossly similar. Yes. Like where Marvel should be

like, excuse me? Yeah. Pardon me? Brooklyn? My God, this this Unicron Planet Eater comes It looks like the Death Star if it was like eating out Alderot. Like before it fucks it over, it's going to give it a lot. It just goes in.

It kind of goes in first. Oh, yeah, it's from the back. So nose goes in first. And it's got that little whole mouth that's like getting up in there was mountains. Dude, it just looks like a puckered asshole. Yeah. To eat this planet. It's the, it's like intergalactic chocolate starfish.

Right. What we're dealing with here. Do you think people are sexually attracted to Unicron? Probably. Somebody's got to be. Someone's doing deviant iron. That fucking dildo company. probably made it's like a fuck

like a flashlight and it's also it could be a vibrating egg because it's got that shape to it. I do wonder how long like Coleman Domingo spent like hours a day a perfecting the Unicron voice for sure and like really like getting into the character putting on the weight

yeah exactly like oh man my wife won't talk to me anymore man I just got way too into Unicron last summer Colman Domingo ate six hard boiled planets a day his belt size equator no baby they're planets no it's fun that you do it for the kid that the eggs a planet it's a planet i'm jane into this role jeanine but so the whole thing is the planet starts like getting destroyed here

and the maximals are all like all right we're going to use the trans warp key to get out of here this planet cannot be saved and uh ape link ape lincoln yeah dude abraham lincoln should have been in this movie why the hell not at this point ape link is like all right everybody buddy, all my maximal buddies here, you know, we sacrifice everything for the mission. So I'm going to stay behind, cause a distraction with Scourge, you guys get the hell out of here.

And here comes this scourge. This fucking Aplink doesn't even put up fight, man. I'm honest to God, he dies instantly. What a fucking loser. He really gets very short work of apeling. And I know, you know, I understand that we are told later in the film

that Unicron is putting like dark energy into these hitman here. Excuses, excuses. Exactly, dude. I mean, this fucking gorilla doesn't even throw a punch. No, no, no. He's murdered and the planet gets eaten and boom, they all

fuck off. They escape on the rainbow bridge. And what did you believe it? They wind up on planet Earth. Oh, 1999. How nice of them. Yes. Oh, yeah. Yes. But they came here hundreds and thousands of years ago. Right. Yes. Ron probably

was just cooling his heels in Peru, apparently, forever. I mean, like, with the ape link, I do, I do kind of understand that thinking, because you're like, well, I'm going to die now. Yeah. Bruce Willis, when he makes the decision on Armagedon, he might as well piss on that fucking rock. I mean,

like, he's like, well, I'm going to die. It's going to happen. Could you imagine like take an outer space taking out your Johnson? Press the button and then pull your pants. And then instantly, the space like freezes it and smushes it and blood shoots out. I mean,

I might pop that helmet off as, as, as it's all, as the nuke is coming. Just to smell it for four seconds. Exactly. Just get a big whiff of space. I would say you probably should pull your pants down before you push the button. You might not be able to. You push the button with your cold ass.

You sit on the button with your ass. They should have cyanide pills for astronauts, you know, if stuff goes south. Dude, I bet there's a thing where it's like, look, if you're up there and you encounter some vicious aliens, you know, not like Vulcans and whatnot, like some real nasty grades.

probe happy guys. You know, you pop out your false astronaut tooth and bite down. Transformers have the same thing. It's made a, it's a sugar cube actually. Let me drink this can of diet cola. No, don't. So we, yes, go to 1984. Brooklyn.

Brooklyn, excuse me. But I should say, that was a point of confusion. Brooklyn. Early in the morning, you know, the caffeine hadn't kicked in yet. The thing comes up. I read 84. Oh, okay. And then immediately you see we're introduced to Noah Diaz, played by Anthony Ramos, and

there's just a huge Wutang flag, and I was like what the fuck? And then no, it is, it is 94. I just read that wrong. Cream is playing the famous. I think he's pretty good in this role. Ramos, yeah, I like him.

I liked him in the Heights, too, even though I didn't like in the Heights that much. That movie isn't worth a goddamn IMO, but I thought he was pretty okay with it. The little brother is also in the height. Oh, really? Yeah, I think he's one of the little kids, like, at the end of the movie when he's, like, telling the story. So he was, like, just born then, I guess.

In 94? Well, no, no, I mean, like, in the heights was a while ago. Oh, yeah, no, he's a much little. I think he's probably like five years old. Two years, three years. Because he can't be, what, he's probably like 12 years old in this movie. Five inches in that movie. And Luna Lauren Velez.

Oh, right. She's having a big year. Battling it out as two bewildered Latino mothers in two movies. the top of the box office. She's also the mom from Spider-verse. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, great. Yeah, totally. Yeah, I like her. Um, so yeah, you know, he, uh, Noah's like a electronics, tinkerer kind of guy.

Which comes to nothing. TV, VCR repair. You'd think, like, in the end, he'd like, fucking rebuild Mirage himself. That might have been good screenwriting, Eric. That just might have been. Does he? Dude, did you walk out? I did. So this, okay, here's, here's what

here's what I'm really curious about. because there's a little, like, mid-credit sequence that happens. Didn't see it. I don't know, maybe. There's two. Oh, yeah, yeah, good. Okay. There's one.

There's one after and then there's a mid-credit one. There's one in one. Yeah, the mid-credit one is what I'm talking about. Is this in the garage? The job interview one? No. That's just the final scene of the movie. That's not a, that's not a anything.

That, then I saw, it was like, but boom, here's the music again. There's, it says Transformers the end. And I'm like, I am out of you. But this is what, this is what I have to ask you about. This is what I'm trying to get out of my mouth. How fast are you getting out of this fucking theater? Because it's no more than like 20 seconds of credit. It's pretty quick.

You were, you were, you were, you were racist, dude. I was out of there, dude. Do you have a little too much Dr. Pepper? Listen, I didn't know how long the liquor store was going to stay up. We all have things to do. But no, yeah, but he literally does rebuild Mirage, which does. Which, I mean, again, kind of because the singer doesn't count. Like, he needs to do something at the end of the movie, like, oh, no, there's no way we'll solve this.

electronic problem. No, uh, fix it. I need to see wires. Even if you're going to the fucking bullshit half credit scene. Yes. You don't see. It's just like, I did it. Did you see it? It's finished and done. What you said what? You need to see him go to fucking automotive school. No, I need to see him taking a wire. I'm like, here, here's something to do. Him actually repairing something in the, in the, in the climax of the movie might have helped. Oh, you're talking about the climax of the movie. Either way, like literally either way to see the work of it. Like that's the point is to see the work. It's just because these human characters

that should be. Nothing. But this is the way they should be. They should be shells of people that you don't care about. I mean, he's got good character motivation with this whole thing with the kid, but the kid is maybe too much.

But also the library lady or museum lady. Elena, who they name 40 minutes into the movie. What a mistake. We don't name her until that. Maybe I missed it if it was earlier, but she doesn't need to be in the movie. No, she kind of doesn't need to. She's the best actor here, I think.

Sure, sure. But yeah, her character These characters could be combined or it could be her movie instead of his movies. And also I'll say it again, which I always say, which is probably whatever, but like, they could also get together. You know what I mean? At the end of the movie, they're inside this fucking planet. Are you trying to force

the two people? Can't they be friends, Stephen? That's also for mommies and dad. That is for mommies and dad. I don't think they're mommies and daddy. You have that like, I don't need to transform. I don't need a Michael Bay shot of Dominique Fishbacks fucking labia. I would like her to like kiss

a man. You know what I mean? Referring to all of those shots of Megan Fox in those movies if you don't remember our complaint department rants about those things. He's not just saying that to say it. I missed that scene in fucking swarm, I guess. Before you start

defending Michael Bay up and down, which you know, he has his moments, but apparently Megan Fox called him Adolf Hitler while working on those movies. Maybe a little over the top. maybe. Certainly got under Steve Spielberg's skin he was not. Not too thrilled

that one around. Can't throw that around. But anyway, yes. So the little kid is they've got a cute thing which is also like this is a little too much speaking with the music as well but like man I love the 90s because we're doing Sonic and Tails. The kids wear a Power Ranger shirt. We see all the

like there's a lot of good needle drops but also when we're introduced, you see like tapes of different, like, very major hip-hop records, Delaussels, the first on three feet high and which I do appreciate at the very least, at the very least we're specific about it. Like these are, you know, these are Latina characters in Brooklyn

that what are they listening to? It's not like, oh man, look at the, it's like, here's Biggie Smalls, here's stone double pilots. Like, you know what I mean? Like, keep that shit out of here. Like, it should all be. There's a thread that works. And also, like, again, to using real songs, it's like, You know, he goes out, I think, I think they live in bedstay, and it's like...

Brooklyn. Yes. I just want to let people know. Bedstai is people not, might not know this for the folks at home, is in Brooklyn. It is. It's a neighborhood. New York. Brooklyn, New York.

Well, no, Brooklyn, New York baby. Brooklyn baby. Yes. That sounds right. That's what we write on our letters. Made famous by the notorious B.I.G. Spike Lee and so on. But they're going out into this world and real music that you would hear on the street at the time. is happening instead of just like

you know just like nothing just beat music yeah for sure so that's kind of cool but here's the thing Sonic and Tales that's a neat little you know thing with brothers or whatever but you all you see this kid playing is that Game Boy and I was like where's the Genesis yeah because that's all you were getting Sonic and Tails

on at the time my friends get some Tojam and Earl going oh sure oh sure man hey tow Jim this is Earl doesn't have as nice of a ring to it Mario's Luigi that'd be fun Kirby and his suck you know

remember Kirby Hey hey suck it's me Kirby come on in he was huge on Game Boy all I'm saying yeah hey I gotta stop you dude

you keep naming clay fighters at me I don't remember that game you're yelling you're yelling the snowman I don't know what that shit is we rented clay fighters one time from the bodega

and I didn't like it And you played it a lot. And I kept telling you, I don't know these characters. And crinkle cut, that's a character. That's a character in the thing? Okay.

I thought that was just a fry type. Yeah. Well, fry types would be good. You could be shoestring and waffle. Steak. Yeah. Shoestring. Come in at steak.

That's awesome. Oh, dude. We got a potato detectives or something. Oh, dude. I think that's a show they have on, you know, Irish television. No, that's going to be the new Pixar movie. I'm just, I don't want it.

be a steak fry. I'm more of a waffle guy. Let's go on an adventure about it. It turns out the sweet potato fries we're on the take. Dude, that fucking elemental movie just looks like donkey shit. I just saw the trailer for it before this actually. It looks at the emoji movie. It looks a lot like the yeah, it looks terrible. Looks like most of these movies. Emoji movie blended with inside out essentially is what that whole thing is. You're totally right. But he's about so the kid has sickle solenemia and it's very expensive on the family. The mother question mark is just like, I'm out of the movie. She works. That's all I know. She works and we know that she goes to night school. That's her thing

is like, you know, you boys remember, I'm going to be a class tonight so you can go out and have Transformer adventures and I won't be wondering where you are. I'll see you the third act. I do think like it's nice to have that these human drama moments in this movie to give me something to glom on. Yeah. Honestly, it's way, this kind of setting where it's like small family sick kid trying to get by mother going to school

that's like a thing versus like Sam Wiki's going to college and his parents are embarrassing exactly because this has actual struggle and that's much much more interesting also interestingly enough and this is true folks at home in the United States to get health care

you have to save the fucking world you got to team up with a bunch of fucking space robots save the world and then your brother is taken care of. It is way more believable that space robots would help you with your health care costs for the U.S.

government. Excuse me, Eric. How else are you supposed to fuel ambition? How else are we supposed to do it other than kill people? He would be too lazy to steal and then too lazy to get them to the robot adventure. He wouldn't want to work. It's not nobody wants to work. Nobody gets actual value from work. Are you fucking crazy?

Oh my God. Wait a minute. I can't believe my car shaped ears. You're telling me that this boy will be denied a bed for he cannot afford the cost of said bed that's disgusting you know what unicron come in and take it let's go baby back it up unicron back it up get that space asshole right above the united states of america and start sucking can i ride you in can we get it so i get on top of you with a hat and start swinging it around while you fuck the planet it is i mean you're right

dude. You're right. The only way this kid lives is because his brother saved the day. Exactly. And to Chris's point, I would love to see a robot in a hat. Oh yeah. You don't see that that. Yeah. No, the hat robots. You just got Spider-Man in a hat recently. So yeah, you've got to wait a little bit. It would be truly fantastic if one of these movies

was like, like the next one. It's like, all right, Noah, we must go undercover. And it's just a robot. He's got a little hat on. He's pretend to be like one of like a big city barbecue on the freeway. The big sign. Nope, just a sign.

Don't mind me. It's an advertisement. But so, like, he has to drop the kid off at the hospital, and he also has his big job interview. We also meet his, like, kind of near-do-well buddy who he gives a hot cable box. That took me, that was, like, a specific reference that took me back a little bit. Yeah. Oh, Twizzler man.

What's that? Twizzler man, you're near. Yeah, but giving someone a hot, getting stolen cable as a thing. Oh, yeah, that's a big one. I wonder if that's why I was inspired. to rewatch the cable guy last night after seeing this movie. But so he gives him like a hot box. Like, hey man, if you ever want to make some real money, talk to me later in the movie,

he's like, I probably will because today's not going to go so great. And he goes, the kid gets kicked out of the hospital because he doesn't have enough money, which is amazing. This fucking stone cold piece of shit lady is just like, well, you're going to have to take your disgusting sick brother and get him out of my hospital until your bills are paid, Mr. Yeah. And this is how it is in America. Isn't it awesome?

This kid is sitting there like, my arm is not working right now. I can't grip things with my arm. Well, then ask the person next to you to open the door and get the fuck out. Help each other. Come on. Let's all help each other. There's also the Twizzler fellow. Rieke is his name? Twizzler man. I've just been called him Twizzler man. Has some lines that sound like they were written on Twitter today.

Oh, yeah. about the vampiric capitalism, the modern day capitalism, which is like, I agree with everything he's saying, but it seems a little heavy. It seems a little heavy, especially for 1994. This dude is a rapper or something. His name's Toby Nguigwe. I'd never heard of him until this movie.

I thought he was, like, funny enough. Yeah, it's good. Dude, what he's doing. We cut to the New York Museum of Archaeology located on Ellis Island. Hey, whatever the fuck. Okay. Yes.

So this is not, now, this is why you thought it was an alternate dimension. Yes, exactly. Because this just, Ellis Island is all the immigration stuff. Yes, that's about it. It's about immigration. There's no fucking science museum. Roosevelt Island or something I could see that. That's what I thought it was at first.

Since that's now, I guess, developing into a school of some kind. Were you not allowed to use the name of any other museum in the New York area? Just like, what the fuck? Natural history or something. paying for them. Oh, yeah. I got you. And that's like, oh, you want to use the natural history museum and what? Oh, I don't think so. Yeah. But they... Good for them for having standards. This is when we meet the nameless Elena. Because she does it out of a name at this point. Maybe if you, maybe there might be a close up on her key card which is coming in that you might get it.

Because her boss is just calling her like, she's her boss is a piece of shit. This Dominic Fishbeck is Elena. Her boss is a piece of shit is like, oh, intern, I need this. Intern, I need that. I'm like, the intern knows more than the boss like there's a scene wherein like there was a heist of a art which I watched that movie can I watch this Thomas Crown affair well it's one of those weird things where like

we lump a bunch of this shit together as if it's all the same profession yes exactly so it's like the FBI had this huge raid and they need us to you know qualify whether or not this stuff is legit and one of them is like a gigando painting of someone

kind. And then there's all these like tiny little trinkets and arrowheads and shit. And it's like, you know, and Dominic Fishback is able to be like, oh yeah, well, that painting's a fake because it's hanging in the whatever gallery and all these little, you know, trinkets and other things. And I was like, the painting thing has to go. One of these things is not. Just because this woman knows about like artifacts and how is she going to pinpoint a fake painting. Andrew, when anybody is undervalued

in their work, they are, of course, this world's greatest genius. That is just equal that side to that side. Which you could still do and I totally get because of course that stuff happens all the time but like one take the painting out and two as far as the name thing goes yes that gag works because she's a piece of shit boss

that undervalues this woman who has like a college education in you know this field of archaeology and everything you need like the janitor to come in or some other assistant or something and call this woman by her name I'm telling you it's like 35 minutes until a road

asks her her name. Well, they know the value of labor. Not so much in the museum. Like Air Razor is finally just like, oh, and by the way, what is your name? Young lady? I'm like, fucking finally, robot. Aren't you that, are you that girl from the deuce?

Yes. You're the girl from the deuce, of course. So this heist is curious to me because I guess somewhere had all, had actual stuff and forgeries together. Yes. Some guy's house. Like, what is the? I've been foolishly expected that to come back in the movie at some point.

Like you'd be like, oh, and that was the Decepticons trying to find the whatever or something. Or the terror con's apology. You know, there should be like, we should lean into the whole art thing. Like maybe there's an auction for like a Model T car. Yes. And it's like fucking, uh, Optimus Prime is like, buy her, buy her. It's my great-grandmother. But in this too, this is where one of the things that she's,

asked to look at is indeed a Maltese felon looking thing and you know she starts analyzing it getting very Indiana Jones about it like this looks like it's from here but it's there's some she realized almost instantly there's some sort of mystery attached to this

it is fucking incredible that you are so creatively bankrupt that you can't even figure out your own McGuffin you have to go with the most famous MacGuffin that's ever been fucking made it makes it clever again oh oh oh my You know what?

Rip-offs. Why don't we tighten it up with the omages, folks? Exactly. Because the line between homage and rip-off is real thin these days. I get it when it's a shot. It's a similar shot you use. That's an homage. When you're like, we're just going to use the thing from the other thing and put it in our movies.

Right. That's not. That's a bit different. Homage meet Mirage. When Optimus Prime gets here, it's going to be mighty pissed off. That it's very dismissed. Hey, Optimus. Want a cigarette?

So Noah goes for this job interview. He's turned down. This is where we briefly learned that he has had some sort of experience in the army. That sort of comes into place or... Which it sort of makes sense why he's like agile and able to fight at the end of the movie, I guess. But like this dude, this security firm or something is just like, yeah, I called your former commanding officer. And he said you daydream a lot. So no job for you.

Well, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it was just Gulf War I. There was plenty of time to daydream. What we did. What did we lose like a dozen people in that conflict? Tops. Yeah, that's just because they tripped on their shoelaces. We're all daydreaming and writing fan fiction. You know, just having fun with it.

I do think this is the only time the movie ever references like race a little bit because he's like, you know, do it if you're going to do it because he's just like, I'm not going to have someone like you come in here and ruin something that we built. And then he's like, someone like me, end of scene. And you never see this guy ever again. Maybe when that toxic cloud comes, like he gets like fucking destroyed by something. Oh, yeah. Where he gets suck.

He's the only guy that gets sucked up by Unicron. Like, no! Why was it just me? That should be a stinger scene. After he's recruited by G.I. Joe, spoiler alert, he can go up and like shoot that guy. Yeah, that would be great. That would be great. Well, you want, because like, if he's not going to get this job anyway,

you want this character to go off on this guy to show that he's got balls. exactly, you know, is capable of saving the world later. I mean, if at the end, like, Noah has like a really good business and this guy's like, hey, do you have a, I actually, my business closed. Can you get me a, and then he does allow him on his work because he's the bigger guy. Oh, yeah, that would be something. And then he's calling him intern. Yeah.

There you go. Yeah, Dominic Fishback's just on the side doing the books. But now because he got turned down for this, legitimate job. He kind of does a little bit of, what do you call it there? George Clinton at a sight. He rips his tie off and throws it on the floor. No, but I'm going to go back to go into a life of crime

because my family needs money and this is how we're going to do it. Exactly. The funny thing about Twizzler man and Noah, I'm calling him Twizzler man. That's his whole thing. He's always sucking on a twisler. And when he, like, he's like, you know, come to me

whenever you want, like I know you're an electrician. Come to me whenever you want to become a burglar. Yes. I was so like, is he going to like rewire a security system or something interesting? But he's like, no, you just want to become a criminal? It was weird that all of a sudden this was stealing a car because of the way it's set up, like they're sitting in a car outside of this big venue and we're talking about like, you know, Rik is saying like, you know, rich people donate tons of money to cause it to make themselves feel good all the time. They're not going to miss this.

And I was like, oh, he's like robbing some charity ball or something. That would be cool. Mission Impossible kind of thing. This is interesting. All of Gotham's first born, dead. And then when he like, you know, he breaks into the back and he's going through this kitchen. And I was like, okay, yeah, this is going to be something. And then it's like, boom, he's in a parking garage just boosting this car. It's like, oh, all right.

Yeah. So not only that, like they say that it was there for three weeks. Yeah. So it has literally nothing to do with the charity auction whatsoever. Why even mention it? That's a great question. No clue. Also, was like, was like, Marage just like mellowing out for a couple of weeks?

I guess so. He's one of those Pete Davidson days, if you know what I said. Had too much premium. I got high on that shit. He smoked too much marijuana. He does. I heard that he likes that stuff. Yeah, he likes that stuff. Yeah, that's really fucking dangerous. So, you know, he breaks into the car and it's the, you know, he's trying to jack the lock up. And oh, it's closing on itself. So you know, we got ourselves an Autobot here, folks. And I, you know, this is kind of cool. Like, he gets locked in the car. The security guard comes up, like, get out of the car. And this is right when Optimus Prime starts sending the word out.

Because something, something. These two scenes are happening concurrently. Don't make fishback at the museum. It's like fucking with the Maltese falcon. It crumbles apart, turns into the bad dragon dildo. She's scanning it for something and it awakens it. And it lets up a beacon into the sky. Correct.

And fucking Optimus Prime is like, like sitting back watching an episode of Seinfeld, just like, wait a minute. What is that? Oh, hang on. What are all these, that's a great question. What are all of these automots doing in New York in the mid-90s? Well, it was the place to be, dude.

We know where the action is. We were just bumming around and coffee shops hanging out. L.A. is over. New York is where it's at. You know, no one told me there'd be days like this. My job's a joke.

I'm broke. My love life is D-O-A. It feels like I'm always stuck in second gear. I should have that looked at, actually. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's like slam poetry events he could go to. It's awesome. Which is funny, though, because at some point,

to get to that 2007 Transformers, which is in California, I think. That's what, you know, people, they stay in New York for a long time. And they're just, the weather gets to them. And they're like, you know, I'm just going to go out to California. It's like a gig that comes along. We have to move west.

The show is filming in California. I haven't gotten famous in New York. Surely I will in California. Only one of two, Vivian. They're just all hanging around. They're like, oh, shit, the beacons right there. They're all in New York. It's very convenient.

Chicago. That's a joke. You can't make it in Chicago, Vivian. Are you crazy? Oh, well, you know. 94, he's going to have to bite his tongue a little bit, right? Didn't a lot of S&L cast come from... Yeah, it's true. It's the four of the big...

Improv is just starting here right now, actually. Oh, yeah, that makes sense, Vivian. Me becoming a physical comedian. God damn it! I'd watch him fall on a coffee table. Absolutely. Wops. He just destroys the whole theater. Well, isn't that special.

Well, we have to reconstruct the theater for the fifth time this season. Optimus decided to go off. Vivian, I'm not going on television and saying swing. It's not funny. That Farley guy's going to be here forever. Yeah, so Optimus, right as this car is being jacked. Oh, calling all Autobots, you won't fucking believe what happened. Chandler has a date and it's not going well.

We need to go to the coffee shop and talk it out. Man, what I wouldn't give to sit on that. big couch someday. Bumblebee, you're going to have to be a distraction for the other date. Keep her waiting outside. Say that the table isn't ready yet.

Chandler Bing, your gay panic is quite distressing. My God, Bumblebee, count how many times lesbians are the butt of a joke on this show. It's ridiculous. So

the car takes off and is going to the destination that Optimus has asked them to go to and I like this chase scene here with the cops, you know, coming after the car and everything. Yeah. We're doing a lot of fancy driving on the Williamsburg Bridge. And it's the actual

it's Williamsburg Bridge. They got the right bridge. That was nice. Yeah. And the the mirage happens where he splits into multiple cars in order to kill a police officer. Yeah. Which definitely happened. Oh, yeah, 100%. That dude's dead. But it's also it's important to realize these are the old style New York police officers

not that there's ever been a difference but cars you mean the cars well the color right the blue and the white wasn't it always NYC police that doesn't seem right right they probably they probably couldn't say NYPD because that's a branded thing yeah and this was so it was funny because I didn't know at this

point where Pete Davidson fell into the movie and all I'd the only reason I even knew Pete Davidson was in the movie was because of Eric's letterbox review yeah so I was like oh Pete Davidson shows up somewhere in this movie and I fully expected just to see that dude's mug

somewhere in this movie and when the car started talking like Pete Davidson I was like Rutro. Yeah. It turned out to be better than I expected but I was like oh man he's doing voice work. But I mean like the character is so plucky and

so joky it gets to be a lot. Yeah. When he sees Optimus Prime and he's like hey those new ribs I'm like I want to be dead. But so we get to this little warehouse Where all they're meeting You think it's kind of funny

Brooklyn you think It is because they go over the Williamsburg Bridge You're right, it isn't Brooklyn All right Brooklyn baby Yeah now that's a warehouse It's kind of funny because like Noah tries to act all tough to Mirage And it's just there's this one shot

Where Pete Davidson's like Oh yeah you think you're tough And it's like a robot Shoving a huge cannon in this kid's face Which is pretty great I kind of like that But so, you know, the rest of the autobots that are around show up here. So you've got, of course, Optimus Prime, of course Bumblebee.

You got a motorcycle lady. Yeah, which is AC, I think the name is. R.C. R.C. There it is. Yeah. That's the, which is the way. I want like an up close sort of inspection of what this. Oh, the lady. Well, no, because it's a, it's a fake person on the motorcycle. So, like, if that helmet comes up, is. there a face in there? Just like empty. It's empty. I think it's a

it's part of the hologram. That would be kind of cool to see the little visor on the helmet come up and it's just nothing. Just TV static. It would be cool. Just turn into people or like little big robot people. I mean they do I guess they are big robot people. But no, I mean like you know, like more

humanish. Well, eventually well I mean I guess what we're leading to is eventually if you are going to follow a continuity of these fucking movies is something Mark Wahlberg who is part transformer part human at the end of the last night. I forgot about that.

Nope. He's like transformer Jesus at the end of that. It's incredible. What? True incredible stuff. Dude, I saw that movie in theaters. I don't even remember that. Bro, it turns out the circuit was in me. Oh, there is by the way, speaking of Mark Wahlberg. It's right here. Davidson's like

because he's just, there's some line of like, oh man, this is crazy. Yeah, it is crazy. Do you hear that Marky Mark is leaving the funky bunch? going to start acting. Look at the camera. I guess he's going to try to be in movies or something. You know, you hear that John Totoro's not going to be in Spike B movies exclusively anymore?

There's another dumb thing that he says here when, because Noah has some line. He exclaims like, you're a robot or something like that. And he's like, no, I'm an alien. And I was like, ghoul. Yeah. And then he says that like if he does this mission, well, I guess I'm optimist and all the gang show up and they're like, who brought the stinking human? Where's the

flesh bag coming from? That I guess is Optimus Prime's journey in this film. Correct. Because in later movies, he loves humans. Yeah, he's a big These fucking stinking pieces of shit. My God, do you know, extrament just falls out the backside of these things. It's awful.

Maybe he hates being a truck, you know, and he's like, they designed such stupid vehicles. Why can't I be a planet like Unicron? He's got it. May. But don't these movies show you at one point, too, that, like, all these guys got to do these autobots is, like, scan a car. Yeah. So, like, he must like be in a big honking truck. I guess so. Maybe you can't undo it. Maybe once you've decided on that, you can't really stuck. You can't hit the undo function anymore after you've saved. You can't undo beyond the save. I'm a little older than Mirage. I can't get it up all the time into other shapes. Just play with my windshields. Mirage is around where he's like, yeah, and then after you do the mission, you could show me and that'll be your payment. I can become a Lamborghini.

That's the weirdest part. What does that mean? Is that in the stinger there? Is this being sold? No, he's the same Porsche. He's just being rebuilt with different parts. I guess the idea is you would sell him. And then he would leave?

Yeah. But that's actually, it's kind of a change into a different car than leave. It's kind of a Primo scam. if you have a human being and an Autobot who's willing to do this, like he turns into a nice Porsche. Oh yeah. You know,

and then like Noah would sell him to somebody. Oh, man. Get all the money. And then like Marage just drives away. Hit the next town. Then he turns into a different kind of car. Sell that off. Get the money.

Then he drives. That's a great. Dude, and here it is. Transformers colon, auto scum. And it's just that we're, we're crisscrossing the nation

ripping people off. I'd watch that. Paper. as a Transformers movie or matchstick men as a tr-that sounds more like I'd be like low low tier scams I like it I would like that I'd be into that

yeah what the hell yeah so that's the whole thing like if you he says if you help us break into the museum and get the key we can do this car sale scam and you know Bob's your uncle there we go and that's they they go

and you drive to Ellis Island no no you can oh in the movie you can yeah I think it's a special Bridge. Elis Bridge. Got it. Got it. Yes, you cannot drive. I would load it that they're all just on the ferry. Like, man, this is taking forever.

Well, I think that's why you see at one point, as they're like going there, you see all of the terracons literally like wash up on the shore. I think they like walk under the water or something. Because yes, you cannot drive to Ellis Island. But this garbage truck does. So it's great. By the way. Which is now Mirage.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah, he turns, because he can just turn to other stuff. there was John DiMaggio The voice actor Yes plays I don't even Plays the plane later on

But he also provided the voice of transit A Decepticon who transforms into a New York City transit bus What? But the character's scenes were deleted Due to their darker tone What? Dark like what happened Release the transit cut

I need to see what's going on Yes now start the campaign Hashtag release the transit cut Don't let anyone involved in this movie fucking sleep. No. So we get that fucking version. Dominique, it's on site. Come on.

Would this be like a deleted scene in the DVD? Do you think, do they film this? It says it seems like scenes were deleted. Oh, I want everyone to go to the Williamsburg Bridge and stop traffic. Just clutter it until we get our fucking transit. Like, what do you think is going on? Like, ass grab it? Like, what's the darker tone?

Or is he running over people? Oh, that could be. Do, do, do, do, do, do, right? It's a populated day in the same. city. It's a beautiful weather. And the do, do, do, do. Yeah, that's what Optimus was doing before he changed. He's just like, get all these

stinking humans in the street. Transit, full power. There's a funny thing around here, because you got, of course, the beloved bumblebee who can only speak through radio frequency and whatever. And he makes, I remember some of his references later.

I don't remember what this one is, but it is one of the funniest things in the movie is Optimus Prime goes, I don't want you going to that drive-in theater anymore. He's just upset that he's going to the movies. I think it's the you can't handle the truth line. Oh,

there it is. Man, I didn't even fucking see that. Way to spoil it. Fuckface. It just came out last weekend, you son of a bitch. You know I love Rob Reiner movies. Meathead, one of the all-time greatest actor turned director.

Don't care much for that Tom Cruise fellow. Rob Reiner, every day, every week. Because Tom Cruise is like wrecking cars and stuff. That could have been a person. That was my uncle. That's somebody. I tried to watch days of thunder, but I was crying the whole time.

They just use us. That's all they do. I went and saw that vanilla sky in theaters. And of course, what has to happen? He gets in a car accident. Disgusting. Now my cousin is blamed for his disfigured face. Oh, yeah.

He puts on a mess They probably hid Selly Muscovich in my trunk So we have like a big museum fight here Because we're going in to steal the key We meet Noah and Amelia Elena meet each other And there's this security guard Who is my favorite part of the movie

He's like hey what are you all doing in here This dude gets evaporating There's nothing left of him Nope, nope, not a trace that this dude ever existed on this planet and he is vaporized. Oh, man. I mean, at least he doesn't have to play Alamony anymore.

It's a nice way out. He's off the hook. He's just got like 75 missed messages after two days. It's incredible, man. Yeah, what are you doing here? Boom. Here come the tarotons into this movie. And here's a weird thing.

So Scourge, weird thing that Scourge has is like these like salacious be crumb kind of things like detach themselves from his body and start chasing people including our two human beings are around the museum here

I mean much like Super Shredder has a token eraser ready to go and do his work for him It'd be so great to take part of you away you know and have it become another thing I guess that's having a kid but I was just say yeah I was just

I meant like all that beer belly is now like a glob that's fighting oh yeah sure sure yeah but as I said As you were saying this, I was like, he's talking about having kids. So I'm thinking about it. My nose is on a side quest right now. I don't know. I shaved off my bush and nothing happened when I threw it to the ground.

But yeah, we are, we're having the big robot fight outside while these people are being terrorized. And this is like, you know, they are getting their asses handed to them because these terracons are pumped through all this dark energy. So you get Optimus Prime getting his ass kick. You got Bumblebee getting murdered. Doesn't, does it, obviously prime, like,

get his punch caught? And he goes, impossible. I think so. There is. I've got to be fucking kidding. But your bumblebee dies. Which is such a stupid.

Fucking do it, dude. Just fucking do it. Watching the movie, I was just like, yeah, they're playing it up, but there's zero chance

that it's an actual moment of the moment of death. There's a whole thing with these movies is like, one of the Transformers, if not many of, them always have a brutal end in all these movies in some way or other. And it's pretended like we don't know from all

the other movies that they can be put back together because they're alien robots and it doesn't fucking matter. Also like I don't know how on board I am with the alternate timeline thing. I think this is the same time limit and in which case I'm like well there's like five other movies with bumblebee that take place after

this so I know that it's just a matter at time. I'm telling you that is this friend they do not give a fuck about what happened the last movie. So where's Megatron right now in outer space? I think so. Hanging out. He's just bawling some broad, you know? That's what he's doing. Maybe he turned into his T-Rex character

from Beast Wars and balling some other dinosaur. Maybe he's got that super private room in Unicron. You have to know him to get it. But it's like right at the top of the globe. Like Scourge doesn't even know he's there. What's in the presidential suite up there, Unicron? Nothing. Well, Unicron is just, by the way,

speaking of what he's doing, uh, He's, like, cool in his heels. Like, the seamless driver keeps being like, I'm going to need another 155 years. Like, all right, I guess so. Fuck, man. This guy's taking forever. I'm going to do another 150.

Fucking Jesus. I'm starving over here. That's better than, well, can you come down and get it? I'm outside. That's what he does at the end. Is it, can you come down and get it? That's right. Scourge has a bad leg.

He can't get up there. There is. I mean, honestly, this fake bumblebee death is almost worth it because of this. shot where you just see this dead robot laying on the ground very just like casually like I could imagine the cops coming and doing a gigundo chalk body outline it would take them all day it's so I I chuckled in the theater. Optus Prime is very upset he is of course he's oh and the cool thing is this scourge he's such a dastardly son of a bitch this robot sure he's doing like the I'm taking a trophy from

my kills yeah and he rips the autobot insignia off a bumblebee and like affixes it to his own body that's kind of cool yeah dude it's like taking ears and whatnot it's something it would be cool if just his entire body was covered and him at this point he's like I've been at this for a while kids well because he does the same

thing to fucking ape lax what's the thing in the ape link he rips off ape link's insignia and puts on him too got your hair piece you won't be needing these plugs anymore. I mean, cool

if he was wearing his hair. I mean, really, though, like, could you again, it's been three days, could you pick scourge out of a line of it? If I showed you seven traps, or not, no. Could you say what scourge looked like? The answer is absolutely not. Probably not. Yeah, I guess, grayish.

He was gray. He was one of the gray ones. I think she was sharper on the edges. Yeah. That's the thing. He's like evil, so he's got a lot more points coming out of him, I guess. And he's got a scarier face. Like, his face is supposed to be scary. around you don't have faces he does

he's looking right at you he's got two eyes this fucking thing give me more face or give me less okay you don't want in between I'll give you fucking face and so like just when you think all is lost with the Autobots battling here

here comes Air Razor just lighten these dudes up pretty cool bit of fire you it's a dragon or something it's very dragon-esque but it's a bird Michelle yo welcome back to the movie She has some weird line here

Where she's like I'm Air Razor And I'm part of your past and your future And I was like what the fuck are you talking about? I don't know man She this is a day and a half for her tops Yeah it had to have been I think for everybody who voiced any

I mean it's not a day at most Yes Except for Coleman Domingo who just just really just To get into the Unicron thing Yeah his husband wouldn't talk to him anymore Like it's just like I can't do it. I just, him when he gets like Unicron, it's just, it's scary. It's scary. Eating dirt in the backyard trying to prepare for this role. Glenn, I'm working. I mean, he was as Zola, he was

pretending to be a pimp and that was less scary than what I was going through with Unicron. He is fucking bone chilling in that movie. A great movie. Oh, man. I, I fucking hate that when that movie came out, more people didn't see it. Yeah. It's so goddamn good. But this is So air razor swoops in here and is explaining all the stuff we've already talked about with, like, dark energy and whatnot. And you got Optimus Prime being like, well, that clearly explains it. They're juicing. Of course I would best them in a fight. That's unfair.

I want to take a piss test scourge. Piss in this cup. An oil check. Get your dipstick out. As I thought, Diesel. But this is like when it's kind of like, it's kind of like. It's a bit of a leap If I'm Noah

Because it's like Oh man The fit of the world And it lays on this key If they get it Then Unucron comes And destroys the world He's like

Destroy the world My little brothers In the world I won't let this happen I'm a hero I'd be like All right I'll see you robots later

I'm glad I'm not dead Good luck with all the whatever But no We have to warn you That Brooklyn is part of the world That's it That's really the inspiration Brooklyn baby

Hey Marajer You could still sell it we sold the sole thing, because I did do what I said I was going to do, so it wasn't a cash. Like it wasn't my fault. It got stolen. Yeah. I got it. The deal was I go into the museum and get it out for you. And I did. So when are we going on this car sale scheme or what? But so this is when also Air Razors like, well, the sort of good news is it's only half of this thing. And dude, we cut to scourge going up to Unicron and be like, my lord, the key. And then. there is the funniest. They have this robot planet go, finally, my hunger is killing me. And I was like, is this robot planet turning into Joe Pesci? Dude, that's what I'm telling you, man.

It's been, it's been thousands of years. The seamless driver finally shows up and he doesn't have your fucking nugget. You're like, are you fucking kidding me? I was waiting for Unicron to slap him upside the head. Like one of the particles just to hit him in the back. He does kind of torture him, which is pretty great. He gets a little electrocuted, you know, which I, you know, which I, You know, a robot getting tortured. Where are the spicy nugs? I can't believe it. I wouldn't have ordered anything unless I had the spicy nugs.

Wait a minute. What the fuck is this? Chicken fries. I said nugs, not tenders. Go back. Go back. Today's episode is sponsored by me undies. You've been listening to this show four years.

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And also we got a huge tax credit for doing it. But we have to have a quick, like, Noah's going to go, say goodbye to the brother. And this is around where it's just, again, me in the theater. what? When, you know, Chris is the name of the brother is like, oh my God, you know this robot?

And he's like, oh, well, you know, we're not really friends. He's just, you know, I know him from work. He calls him a work friend. And this is where Pete Davidson goes, work friend, but you've been inside me. I was like, who is that for? Work friend is a direct rip from Thor Ragnarok,

so that's fine. Oh, that's right. I know that guy. He's a friend from Also, they weren't working together, right? Crime friends, if anything. Noah, why can't you say that we just had sex? Why can't you just be honest with your brother? And the little kid wants to go on the adventure and hear,

I'm like, please don't, please don't, please don't, please don't please. Oh, yeah, dude, I was in there, fingers across in the theater. That wasn't happening. Yeah, just like, I would have voted no, so fucking hard. Well, yeah, that was to choose your own adventure. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Well, because then you have disgusting cancer boy. and that's a disgusting sickle cell boy

I mean I just The last thing this movie needed was a sickly child Exactly But so that he doesn't He's like you better take care of my brother here You know you don't see it happen But he does give Mirage the radio So they can talk to each other apparently

Right yes Which is what is this radio's power Going from Brooklyn baby All the way to Peru Now I think it's Marage It's probably juiced it with this alien taint We'll just sit up. I'm going to plug it into my tank.

It's inside me. See, they haven't created cell phones yet. So here's something like a cell phone. Right. Exactly. Do you know by the way, that Mirage was, he was linked to R.C.

on this movie. Like, they were there, they might have been dating. Oh, yeah, right. Yeah. Well, I heard that Mirage was a huge cock. That's what I've heard too.

Yeah. They were at the Laker game. I was just, oh, is he going to be on the show with R.C.? like with them and she's with her sisters? He's also now been spotted with Megatron. He's having sex with Megatron. The robots.

They have sex with all of. So then it's like, boy, how are we going to get all these gigando robots to Peru? Don't worry. There's an Autobot called Stratosphere, which is a Scotsman with a mustache and a cough. He's somehow drunk?

Like, all this stuff? Like, how? How? I had too much. ethanol in me. I'm wasted. I don't know, man. God damn it. What is worse that it can get drunk or that it definitely has a mustache?

Yeah. Well, that we've done before. We have had a robot mustache before. Have we seen Strasfeer in other movies? I don't think he, there is a similar character. There's more than one of these things that has facial hair. There is. In the scrapyard one,

whatever one is basically in the scrapyard has mustache. Oh, Mader. You mean, Mader. Yes. Mater. Yeah, Mater. No. I do love how Mirage is like, oh, no, it better not be the, oh, it is stratosphere.

I'm taking a private plane or I'm flying coach or whatever. And I'd be like, I don't know, man, like, fuck. Can't you all fly? Like, what the fuck? Yeah, exactly. You got to get into this old man's behind. Exactly. And then he'll take you there probably tell you a boring story along the war.

I do like how it's the war with Cybertron. I do like how in this. plain, like, optimists kind of spread out moody. He's got survivors guilt in this movie. He's got his arm up on like a shelf or something and he's, this is, it's a robot pensively

staring out a window. Yes. Really interesting shot. This is where we do start talking a little bit about Brooklyn because they realize they're both from Brooklyn. So it's like, oh, you know, he, she grew up in Canarsie or something, I think. And her dad is a taxi driver.

Yeah. And he's from Bushway. Brooklyn, baby. You're unrecognizable to debate today compared to 94. Absolutely true. Benz-Stuy, Wuzberg. Let's just name all the different neighborhoods. Let's just do it.

Let's just, okay, yeah, Apple store. Yeah, that's Brooklyn, baby. That's just pure Brooklyn. Woo. Topest place. Topest place. Brooklyn, baby. Number one.

There's a really dumb. She goes like, oh, my dad. Because she's like, oh, cool. You're from Bedstide. dad used to take me to this pizza place on such and such and such and such avenue and he's like oh frank's pizza yeah it's like all right Brooklyn baby best pizza in the world also though shouldn't it be um Brooklyn because it's it's the 90s man shouldn't it be uh what's the what's the what's the name of the pizza place and do the right thing sounds yeah that would have been

kind of funny if it's like you're talking about sales oh i haven't been there since the garbage can went through the window. Why do you not have any autobots on the wall? Where's StarScream? No, Radio Rahim literally was a transformer. You didn't know that.

That boombox is actually. At the end of that movie, there's a stinger seat at the end of Dureate thing after the incredibly powerful ending and the letter from Martin Luther King, the letter from Malcolm X. If you watch all the way through the credits, a bunch of Energon comes through the floor.

And then Radio Rahim is alive and then they fight the power. That's right. He wakes up big blue eyes. Yes, exactly. You only catch that scene if you're not running out to the liquor store immediately. Listen, I had to do it. It was worth it. I have no regrets.

Well, you mean you don't know about the beam and do the right thing. Everybody knows about the beam. So, so yeah, this is also where they plot, you know, Noah's like, listen, I mean, Elena, fuck these robots, right? Yeah. You know, let's

And then she's like, but then they're not going to be able to get home. And he's like, yeah. But then we don't have to worry about any of this. And we save the planet and it's not going to fall into the hands of these other things. You know what's frustrating about this is that they don't do it there. And then at the end of the movie, fucking Optimus Prime is like, yeah, I guess that's the only way to actually do this. Yes, exactly. Because there's a scene in the middle of it where it's like, you were going to destroy it.

That was my ride home, you son of a bitch. Piece of shit. And then like, yeah, at the end of it, yeah, I guess we should have probably destroyed it all the way in the beginning. I guess this movie was for nothing. I think it's one of those things that it's like, well, now the circumstances have clearly changed because this gigantic space asshole is puckering up into the stratosphere. No, no, you're more important. Your planet's more important. My place is fucked.

Whatever. They go, they go to Peru and they meet, I think this is Wheeljack. Wheeljack, voiced by Christopher Fernandez, who's fans of Ted Lassel will remember him as Danny Rojas. Football is life! Oh, yeah. Yeah, that guy. Yeah, he's a funny dude. But he's

and he's got like a Spanish accent or what have you there. And like we, uh, Andre Ramos or Noah's like, oh, you speak Spanish and he starts speaking Spanish and I'm like, there's this like weird like racist Joe votes racist to assume it's like, don't like, if you're going to hire this dude

he's got an accent, totally fine. Just don't call attention to it. Also, you know what I mean? Like, let it go. Why wouldn't a truck living in Peru know Spanish? Yes. Yeah, I don't, you know, why is the Autobots only speak English? What does that even mean?

Why would he have an accent at all? Like, I can't just leave it alone. Just forget. Exactly. Let him be in the movie with the accent. And just don't address it. You're not going to talk to Michelle, yo, like, oh, do you speak Chinese? Like, no, you know what I mean?

Like, that doesn't make any fucking sense. No, exactly. That never comes up. And, like, you know, there's one of two ways to do it. either Noah speaks Spanish to this car and the car speaks Spanish back or just you don't acknowledge it because it doesn't matter anyway but there is

a line that's kind of funny even though the bit doesn't work because he's like because the robot is like don't you think that's a little racist and what Noah responds with is well this is a robot how is it racist and I'm like that's kind of funny but the bit overall fails horribly And he's introduced, the wheel guy.

Wheel Jack. He's introduced A, his classes. He does wear glasses. He's just so stupid. Oh, thank God, Wheeljack. You have your corrective lenses on. So, well, of course, we as Transformers, vision is included, obviously. It would be insane not to include vision.

Yeah, we have our Oculus, the guy who checks our eyes every year. So he's introduced, isn't he like looking around at things? Yeah. It's like butterflies or something. There's something floating around him that he's like looking at. I have no idea. This is. It sounds beautiful.

I'm not sure if this is true, but it might just because Spider-Man happened and I got pissed off about the meme thing again. But this transformer looking at these things looks exactly like that meme of the guy with glasses and a butterfly. And he's like, is this a? I kind of I'm just of the mind now that memes are always being put in these movies It's cute we love memes And everybody knows it

Like you know here's the thing about Putting memes and things for people to Recognize Relatable things right Well now it's like you're doing that And you know the people that go like Oh yeah oh look it's the thing It's the Spider-Man point it's the

You know the butterfly meme From whatever you know animated thing that is It's no different than when Steve was on the Tower of Terror and that person said, they made it look like that time. Exactly. When you acknowledge with any kind of like positivity that someone's referencing a meme, just know that in public you sound like,

they made it look like that time. Oh, I know that. It's just as stupid. Well, people just want meming in their films. A film needs to have a meming. Yes, because then I go to the movies and I steal the memes. So I stole your meme here and I stole your meme there. That is like a meme goblin

that tells you. Here's a meme about me stealing your memes. I am a meme Unicron. I eat memes for breakfast. Oh, man, talking about a gigando space asshole. Exactly. Space X assholes. So the whole thing is like, oh,

the piece that we're looking for might be located in this church. But of course, a bunch of cars can't room, room into a church. What do you mean? What the fuck? Oh, fine. You're saying we aren't allowed to believe in a higher power.

I get it. I'm baptized. Man, well, how do you baptize a huge truck man? The fucking fire hose full of holy water. A truck and confession. That's good. I'm Catholic, honestly. I didn't make a complete stop at the stoplight.

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been 250,000 miles since my last confession. Yes, it would be in miles. He just lies down in a river And the whole thing just empties Tidal wave They were doing what to those cars I made a turn and I didn't signal

Oh yeah he's helping the spotlight Reporters They have to know The light turned green And after only half a second I really laid on the horn It was rude of me Oh

Catholic cars That's something so Elena and Noah have to go down they sort of walk through this parade really quickly and again I always hate when this happens like we're doing like you know skullduggery and I think Noah's like wow this is like Indiana Jones shit

I'm like yeah I know dude I've been watching this fucking movie you know what I mean like just don't do it because she they get into this like garden area of this church and they're looking at the signals as to where this like entrance you know is going to be and uh oh there's a huge floor puzzle and it's very i literally i'm such a fucking loser i'm sitting in the theater with this notebook by the way scribbling and i just wrote like indiana jones shit and then like a cavern opens and no one goes wow that's some indiana jones shit and i was like oh god

oh what's happening to me oh it's coming on in a few weeks get ready everybody uh yeah only a co-production with paramount this time though because that's all disney baby of course they gabbled that shit right up man do unicron dude just eating planets that's true so they you know I open this cavern and they go down

and it's one of those like boy I don't think anyone stepped here in half a millennia and you're like wait for that to not pay off at the little epilogue of this movie but we go down

we find the room here's a box we're literally like moving a stone tablet and uh oh the box is empty where could this piece of the key be well no time to think on it now because here comes

this fucking salation be crumthing again, chasing them around. Yeah, so they have to run away from that fucking thing. And then eventually when they get back to the maximum, they find those new maximals. Yes. Well, because Noah, at this point, Pete Davidson gives him like that wristband thing. And he like accidentally like iron man's this robot and kills it,

which sets up a part of the movie that I don't care for. Disagree, but we'll get there. But I think it's funny that they're like trying to find this piece of the key. And it's like in this ancient temple and it's not there. and then they meet up with those other transformers like yeah we moved that it just seems weird but yes they they come out

they run through this cavern they come out the other side of it in the jungle and then bum bum here we go here's all the maximals including Optimus primal here's like the big dude that would be oh yeah but by the way right but not too far before this

they're running through there's a chase I think it's around where wheeljack is introduced and transformers are running across rooftops. Yes. Explain any of that to me. Explain how any, like, you would just be falling through every roof. It's kind of funny because they like try to make it work. And it does, because you're right, like one foot, it would just go right through this thing.

Not even. But you see, like, as its foot leaves the roof to take the next step, like the roof is falling down. But I was like, there's no way. There's no way this structure would support this gigantic robot for even a second. And that's one. There's four of them doing this baby. This place is gone. Yeah.

Get a helicopter. Countless dead. Drop a car on a fucking building and see what happens. You know what I mean? Like that's, yep. You know what? I would love to see that. They should put that in the movie theater.

We should do that. We should have a show. It's like how stuff works movie edition. Right. It's like, what would happen if a transformer actually stepped on a roof of a house? Drop that fucking car down on it. And of course, we have a show. of living people in these houses

to see how this would actually match. It's a real, it reminded me a lot of the, the Hummer scene in Bad Boys 2 when they're just driving on people's fucking homes. Oh, right. I mean, I this, it made me think about it. Don't worry, they're poor though, so it didn't matter. Of course. That's right. That doesn't matter at all. I mean,

that it made me think because when Optimus Prime and then, he's swinging from trees. Yeah. Are you fucking serious? Yep. Like, this can't, this, nothing can support this thing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. He weighs 7,000 pounds. Get swing from shit.

He, this is, this is a big fight. There's a Pete Davidson line here that I will not forget. I think he's fighting Scourge. And this is what he says, Stranger Danger a couple of times. That's great. That's awesome. I love that.

Yeah, it's like when Noah and Elena are making their way through that tunnel to meet the maximals, the terracons are fighting with the Autobots here. I did like how Wheeljack, turns back into a van and like RC or whatever her name is there is like Hank like sort of skitching alongside of it and scourge or one of those fuckers throws a missile and they turn and the cart like the van's doors are both opens wheeljack turns into like a VW bus thing and the rocket goes through it I thought that was kind of neat like you notice that the lady one mouth the word fuck when it happened no what I think she did really yeah it was like yeah

I was like, fuck. That's kind of cool. Maybe that's in a cut. Maybe it's in that transit cut. Yeah, the dark cut. Oh, right. Yeah. Somewhere around here, too, when the Autobots meet back up with the maximals here in the woods,

Pete Davidson calls Optimus primal Donkey Kong. Yeah. Isn't that right? But the weird thing about Optimus primal is he never turns into a robot. He's just, he loves being a gorilla. Yeah. Right? How stupid is it?

All the maximals turn into robots at the end of the movie to do the big fight. Right? I don't remember it either. Because it's it's that like Autobots, maximals roll and they both say roll out. And then everybody turns into robots. What is the point of turning from a gorilla robot to a robot robot? Exactly. Yeah.

Same thing. Yeah. You're a man. You have hands. Arms and legs. It's the same shit. When they're in their robot firms, they have guns. They can fly.

how but all right I mean you're right but how baller would it be if you got this huge gorilla robot and his hand just turns into a cannon and starts fucking killing people and it's a monkey doing it dude you know what I mean? These are a creative

ideas they have no place here oh got it that's just not it's not what we're doing here meanwhile at the end of that fight though scourge sprays Michelle yo with something like a disc adder and it attaches to her wing there

He comes on her back and then. Air Razor, Optimus Primal, Chitor, and Rhinox are the big, the beasties that we meet here, the Maximals. And I think Rinox is played by Paul Giamatti. I would hope. Now I'm voicing a robot. This is great. I love rhinocerite. I got typecast. I forget what the context is, maybe Pete Davidson startled by these guys or it was from the fight. I got a note that says, I'm not scared. That's just engine oil. He pisses himself.

Yes, he pisses himself. Because I forget what happens, but he does piss himself. He pisses himself. It's very clear that he pissed himself. Which would be engine oil, I guess. It would be. What pisses me off most about this movie, I think, is that. What kills you off?

It starts, like, the total things is we're going to do the beasts. Now it's going to be the beast's thing. Sure. Rise of the fucking beast. It's in the beginning and this and like maybe the last 30 minutes, maybe. Not a lot of beasts here. Yeah. There's a whole hour at least of me just watching a plain old Transformer.

It's a, it's an absolutely, it's a regular Transformers movie. It's rise of the beast. The next movie they're going to have the beasts. That's going to be in the main beast. Transformers colon, the beasts are here. I think there's a little bit of truth to that. But also it does feel like they didn't have any confidence in these maximal characters. Because you shouldn't.

Maybe you should have looked at your script that? I don't know what to tell you that. Right on maybe has two lines. The Cheetor one has maybe all lines. They're both completely underutilized. And I mean, like, you know, Optrus Primal is there. He has a lot of exposition. Dude, after his Air Razor.

One dumb thing that this fucking robot says right here. Robot monkey. Oh, pardon me. Robo ape is because he's like, because I think Air Razors like introducing them all to the autobots and she's like and this is their leader Optimus Primal and dude Optimus Prime is like

Optimus what? And then this fucking gorilla robot is like yes I was named after you and I was like so these robots got parents and the parents these maximal I guess they're also guerrilla robots

were aware of the existence of the Autobot Optimus Prime. I feel like my brain's going to it. I'm just probably like, oh, that means you must have been born in 24-641-9. I was really hot back then. Like that was so many optimists. It was Jalen for girls and boys and optimist for boys.

Well, because they do, they make suggestions that there was like older ones that were also that same kind of dynamic. Yes. There was an optimum primus, which I just imagine less claypool. Gundam. That robot was a really good base player. This is also where we get... That makes sense because his mother was a race car driver. So that would be a ton of sense.

Yeah. Jerry's mother. This was just on the radio yesterday. There you go. But this is where, you know, so Optimus Primal is like, yeah, we for some reason moved the half of the key. But it's with some folks. Let's go check it out.

They go to this village. There's this family there. And this dude is like, yes, like these are the last of this family that's helped us. you know, keep the key secure for centuries, blah, blah, blah, and Optimus Prime is just like, you're, you partnered

with people. You're walking with people. Like, he's so, so disgusted. That's awesome. That this, there was this partnership here. And, uh, yeah, this is also where we get all the shit about the fucking ancient aliens, sort of. Like, it's just, it's just a dip in your toe on the water

of ancient aliens. it's pretty unethical for these space apes to come down and break the prime directive yes and then force this this village to like worship them like gods yeah it's Redfield practically yes master yes ape but well I actually worship a 12 foot ape I don't know what do you worship there there's a dude's like right though literally he's right there he must be forcing them to go into town and find cars and siphon the tank give him gas or whatever whatever's evil bidding is you know you better sacrifice your first

board to me. Oh yeah. Me, your ape monkey robot god. Think about how good that would feel too. Oh, yeah. You put a baby in palm of your hands and just close it and then open it. And it's just juice, dude. It's just juice. There's a great like everybody's cut. Juice.

There's a great thing where everybody's kind of like hanging low for the night. Yeah. And this is where air raisers talking to Optimus Primal and it's really great like Optimus Primal. And it's really great like Optimus Primal. now has met his namesake and he's super disappointed

he's just like I don't know Air Razor this dude kind of fucking sucks man They say never meet your hero He's totally dude That's exactly what it is He's kind of a fucking loser A big fucking truck

I mean Jesus Christ I mean he's kind of the racist Did you hear what he talked about people I mean Can't believe my namesake's a bigot I think it's I think it's Optimus Primate Who has the line that made me scream

Which was when he's pointing to the people who believe in primate he's like much like us they have more than meets the eye and I fucking screamed it's like you may want to rethink your opinion on humans

optimist prime because human beings are more than meet the other we're less they also invented Brooklyn Brooklyn baby speaking of Brooklyn they're having a Brooklyn conversation Anthony Ramos and Dominique Fishback

and don't worry about a hint of romanticism don't worry we're not gonna hold hands we're not gonna kiss that's for mommy's and daddy look the big climax they can become colleagues

yes that's big that's really satisfying maybe that's the thing like that's why it doesn't feel like now

she needs either more to do or not to be in the movie at all or him not to be in the movie because it's just muddled and if they were maybe finding each other through this voyage

there would have been something too that. I wonder if there was a draft version of this. Possibly. The closest you get is like when all the dust settles and they're back on that Scottish airplane she puts her head as she leans her head on his shoulder

and that's that's all you get. That's like live journal oh my god I think this might be happening kind of stuff. By Beach Boys metrics it means you're married. That's true. But they're talking and it's like should we destroy this? Should we not?

This is what she's like oh but you know the Transformers helped us and they want to let them go home and all this stuff. He's like, I don't care Brooklyn, baby Brooklyn. And this is when Michelle Yo freaks out and turns into a monster, which is hilarious. Yeah, like, I kind of want to watch the video of Michelle Yo doing this vocal performance. Oh, yeah, totally.

I get the 4K for this? She had those destroyed. She's like, yeah, you'll destroy that. Yeah, no, this will not be a DVD bonus feature anytime soon. No, thank you. Because you had, uh, Elena wakes up the next morning and it's like, wow, what's that noise? Sounds like someone's taking a real gnarly shit. And she, like, walks out into this field and here's this fucking bird robot turned over sideways. Like, yeah, get a fuck away from me.

And it's like, you know, she's trying to stave off being taken over by the dark energy or whatever. So it is like a little bit of a Brendan Gleason get the fuck away from me. And like, here Optimus, uh, or Optimus Primal comes in like, oh, it's happened. And we get a little bit of a fight here because she takes away. Elena in her claws and they give chase. She comes back to herself briefly for a moment and it was like, kill me. Do it. Do it. Kill me. Because they have this whole thing like sacrifice anything for the good of the mission. And this gorilla

just fucking mushes this thing. A big gorilla hug. He kills his bird wife. I can't believe it. Don't worry kids at home. She'll be fine. I'm sure. I'm sure she's in the next movie. That's the thing is like we make all the effort in the world to bring back Bumblebee to bring back Mirage, but eat fucking dunk shit, Air Razor. You are dead forever. Oh, she'll be bad. No, she's

like, I just won an Oscar. Can you kill me in page? Yeah, my contract stipulates you need a shot of my robot body being melted down in a lava river. See, I said yes to everything after this, the hit. So, you know, I

can't do a sequel. I actually have to be on the James Bond movie. I'm coming back from Tomorrow Never Dies. It's also probably not that popular of a character, the bird, right? But like Bumblebee, if they actually kept him dead. Someone would be walking around. Someone would walk into the White House wearing a C4 vest if they actually killed Bumblebee. Oh, man, another terrorist attack because we let them kill Bumblebee.

God, you know what? Get me on the phone to Jack Paramount. We've got to solve this. He's been dead for 100 years? Is Spielberg still involved with that stuff? Get that man on the phone. Still EP on this movie. still getting that chick. So basically

the third act of this movie, the terracons now have both pieces of this key. We're going to assemble it. And they're kind of just going to Mordor. It's this big mountain volcano thing. And this is where we're going to assemble everything and open this portal. Conveniently nothing there. Like

it's just nothing. It looks like nothing. Nothing to render. Nothing to worry about. Smoothish. It's a grassy hill essentially. It doesn't look good. It's a trip to Mordor, but also while it is happening, we have an Avengers end game level battle on the field with all the different characters

and the little crawly guys dude those crawly guys at one point it's like the unicorn is coming and he's shooting crawly guys after yeah yeah yes and then there's like portals that open though and all these other crawley things come out and somebody's like oh look it's all the foot soldiers and I was like what the fuck where these things

come from enemies coming in from a portal I know I thought some the revengers it must be the revengers I love that movie. And like, especially when it's in New York and you can see it. And it's a big portal in the air. I'm like, that's that movie that I saw. Yeah, 11 years ago.

Can we, uh... You got to get back on the phone and Joe Paramount about this. No portals. Let's take a break from portals. Absolutely. Sky portal specifically, I think we can get rid of. And we're all fighting. And basically, uh, Noah.

And it's, it's hilarious how this keeps happening. Like, if you, why would there be in this Terracon creation? an area that only humans can access? A human-sized console, you mean? It doesn't make any sense. No, it doesn't at all. And, you know, so the whole thing is they have to race down. It's basically like a very long bridge to get to the foot of Mordor or whatever.

And that's where this console is. And so she reaches it while Noah gets discovered by Scourge and there's a little bit of fighting there. And so she gets to this console and I swear to God, it is like a two second, like, Oh, there it is. She inputs this weird alien code. And I was like, you know, I don't need to see her going to computer programming school. But I need to be a little more focused on like getting this password in. Oh, it didn't work this way.

It is just a now it's done. But then it doesn't work anyway, right? Well, the console is destroyed and it doesn't matter. But that's, I mean, going back to like, oh, she's undervalued at work there for world's greatest genius. Like, she also, we don't even figure it with a computer. Like, we don't see her with a computer doing anything like that. She's writing it all on her hand. Oh, the symbol, if that symbol is this way,

then obviously the other side of the symbol has to be this. I'm like, it's an alien language. I definitely know how to type this. I know how to do this. And the, meanwhile, the big fight, this is when, unfortunately, everyone's favorite character, Mirage. He's like covering. I'm going to self-sacrifice myself so that you can actually finish this and stop

Omnachron from destroying all the planets, this, and the other thing, courageous self-sacrifice. Oh, never mind. I'm fine. So does he get the power glove before Mirage dies? He does have one power glove before. He gets the power first. Because he uses it way because Marage gives it to him way back when they go to infiltrate the church. Yes, that's right.

And then Mirage while he's dying turns Noah into Mega Man. Yes. Literally Mega. That's my Noah too. I feel like they got a suit right there. Dude, I was kind of just like, hey man, look at this. Oh, so. But like, look at it this way.

that fucking Mario movie was huge it's time it's time for a Mega Man movie I mean we just got it dude we literally just got it and you know what Anthony Ramos for Mega Man dude I was totally cool with this he's bopping around on this little robot scene I thought it was pretty stupid

It is stupid but I was cool with it Oh don't worry Steve it's stupid It's just because I don't think it looks terribly good I just and it's like it's a cool idea but it's almost too late in the movie and also like I'm now wearing my dead friend is a little bit odd

I'm wearing my dead it's like oh man I'm gonna fight oh this guy's fuck with me I'm gonna wear Andrew's dead body on they'll never know who I am this way

dude I gotta tell you Steve if some some tough out there was giving you trouble and you rolled up wearing my body as a suit that guy would bother you no more friend I'm cool

I'm cool man argument over you that guy's fucking you know what man yeah Superman would beat the flash in the race face in your chest cavity.

Do you want my car? Whatever's in my wallet? I will suck your dick, dude. Just let me leave a lot. I just really wish I didn't see this. Let's finish this. What the fuck? God, we were just yelling about which Robin was better.

Tim Drake, motherfucker. This guy's crazy. Could you just take your friend off your face? And then so in a weird thing, I guess part of Unicron like, sucking up this planet is like a big, a shockwave goes across the land and activates all this like, you know, raw energyon that we're told, oh, don't worry about it way back when. Because I think even, I think it's the Scotsman's like, oh, you know, if you just, if you got him back to Cybertron, if you just pump him full of Energon, he might be able to be revived. And so wouldn't you know it? He just needs a hard read start. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. It's like the turn on Bumblebee, but hold down control off delete while. you do it, you know, have Bumblebee boot up in safe mode.

Oh, and actually, it's very easy for audio to skip death if you just get some energy on. You can all just come back. There's a really great thing, though, where, like, Optimus Prime is getting, like, gang banged by all these little foot soldiers. Like, they're all over him. Oh, my God, this is disgusting. And then, like, here comes Bumblebee, you know, to save the day and shoots all these things off him. he also murders Nightbird, which is like the purple Terracon, and she's got like swords and whatnot. While Alana is at the console, my favorite line of the movie, it's not quite Vivian get in here, but it is after his prime looking down at a woman being like, Elena, shut it down.

Which is just sort of like, that's what happens when the party gets out of control. You know what I mean? Like dad comes in. Your uncle, like, fucking somebody knocks over the fucking Christmas. That's it. Elena, shut it down. Your friends have to leave. Your mother and I have been sitting upstairs quietly, patiently,

waiting for these vagabonds to engine our home, and now the Christmas tree is on the ground. Shut it down. We're never going to fix that portrait of your great-grandfather. So shut it down, Elena. Who broke the goddamn coffee table? Oh, no, this is incredible. This liquor bottle has been drank from

Elena shut it down All right Who dragged dog do into the house It's all over the carpet Elena shut it down I would love to see this house I imagine it's just a giant garage Who put all our frozen food

In the dishwasher Who did it Boy your little friends sure think They're fucking funny Shut it down Oh you've got to be fucking kidding me Someone ate my leftover spaghetti That was lunch for work tomorrow.

Elena, shut it down. Do you think they eat, like, actual food, like spaghetti? Yeah, but it tears them apart. Or do they just eat like nuts and bolts? Oh. Nah. I'd like to think it would be in spaghetti. Yeah, I would like to, like, just a swimming pool full of like manicotti.

Yeah, I'd be fine. They did, they came to New York for a reason. Yeah, we can't leave. The food is far too good. I've gained 14 tons since going here. Vivian, I am eating my way around the world without ever having to leave. Brooklyn! You haven't had real garbage hot dogs until you've been to New York.

Vivian, grab me another dirty water dog. Brooklyn! This is when, and every one of these movies has this, and I really appreciate it. When a robot does die, specifically when he's the bad robot. They get fucked in the face so hard. It's brutal. It is so incredible.

He rips off Peter Dinklage's arms and shoves his face into lava. Is that how that goes? While saying, speaking of shut it down, this is another good one. Because they're just having this fight. And it's almost as if like Optimus has been laying in weight, just toying with him or whatever. And he gets frustrated. He just goes, all right, I've had enough. And shoves his face into a lava waterfall.

not too shabby it's pretty good he eats shit here and then this is when oh actually sorry another line right here after the lava facing he pulls the dead robot body back towards him and goes this belongs to a friend of mine yeah and rips off

bumblebee's insignia from the chest and then throws it down pretty great and this belongs in a museum he uh kind of great like this is when so like it's the end now because alida tried to do the thing the console blew up. There's no way to stop Eutocron unless we destroy the key,

but that will kill you or something. It's going to cause a massive explosion at the source of turning it off. And so that's self-sacrifice time. Outtax Prime is like, I'm going to go to hell tonight. And he's going to fall into a, he does it. He falls into a cliff, but then who would, Mega Man shows up and saves the day. And then Optimus Primal's like, you've got to be fucking kidding me, kid. And then he pulls both of them up. because it's causing like if everything's getting like sucked back into the portals of the whoa

and this is also when you know Optimus Prime stops being so racist because she's like, what? Noah? Damn, saved by one of you. I mean, that's tough, right? Right? Like you see the little guy and you're like, oh. But you'd be like, oh yeah, you could only do that because you're wearing my friend as a suit.

That's true. Where did you get all that? Oh my God. It's mirage. I can't believe it. It's so disgusting. You twisted, fuck. What is the silence of the lambs, you sick bastard? You dissected him and you're wearing his body.

I hate you even more now. Kill them all, Unicron. And then it's just a real, like, I think it's, someone says like, oh, Unicron's dead and Optimus Prime's like, Oh, nice. Unicron is not dead. He's just somewhere else right now. He's waiting for the sequel.

He's looking for more shrines. And so then we get into the standard. You know, this is what I was appreciated about these movies. You know when these movies are coming to an end, when you get the Optimus Prime closing voiceover here. Oh, yeah. Just a reminder, my name is Optimus Prime, and this is a recap of the movie.

And he says, you know, the key is broken, so we're stuck here on Earth. But good thing I'm learning to like these people because we're, you know, stuck with each other, yada yadas, that's his whole thing. And then Elena appears on 60 minutes. Sure.

We're being interviewed by a present day Leslie Stala, which is weird. I guess that's why they kept the TV screen so small there. And it's like, oh, yes, Elena, whatever, you know, she discovered this cave. And at no point, I mean, I don't know. Wouldn't they be like, what the hell were you doing there? What were you doing in Peru? Right.

Nothing. You know what I mean? What did this? How did this museum intern wind up in this Peruvian cave. I was following the research of an old explorer named Phineas Witwiki. Oh, nice.

Nice. Fucking damn it. But you know, there's no, it'd be questioned, right? Like, they'd be like, okay, but there's no record of you ever traveling there. There's nothing. Oh, and also, you don't have a passport. We do have this, like, grainy security footage of you leaving that museum

disaster that left 30 security guards dead. Totally. They still want to interview you, you know, a man died there. died in the room I mean we think so we have no evidence he ever existed Security Joe we were using mist

to find his DNA we just held a Q-tip up in the air and just swabbed around we're hoping for the best but this is the last scene of the movie where another big job interview

another big job interview there's a scene when he goes back to his family and it's like hey you're back yeah but whatever Sonic kills we get it but yeah it's the last scene's a job interview and like he'll see you now

and enter the dude from fucking Michael Kelly who's a great actor Oh yeah shared a plane back from South by with that guy Really? Oh yeah Not exactly the heat

you're looking for though for this role This is like three to five people pass For TV people he's got Not only does he have house cards He's also on that Godforsaken Jack Ryan show Oh wow okay He's a major character in that But it's but it's

But it's not like I mean like direct comparison It's not fucking Samuel old Jackson being like hi I'm Samuel L. Jackson right although it is kind of the level of the other shield guy Clark Gregg yeah yeah

it is kind of Clark Greg level it's better than Clark Greg oh poor Clark I agree with it yeah I mean I've always like Michael Kelly and stuff so this is kind of cool but he's like oh you know your resume is a little thin I don't know if you're going to be good for this security job he's like what have you been doing lately and he's like well I went to

Peru is like oh that's still on this resume I went to South America that's right And what else did you do in Peru? He's like, I didn't say Peru. And he's like, I'll let you in. And we're a government agency nobody knows about. And like all this, you know that a stinger is coming.

I for one didn't see GI Joe coming. I thought it was going to be some robot that I never heard of that some other, somebody else would have lost their mind. Or like the door opens and there's Tuturo. And it's like, all right, that's that government agency. The Gilgamax project or something. And I was like, oh, fuck, they're going to do Gilgumax next movie or whatever nonsense. Yeah.

I was waiting for some nerds in the theater to say anything. And I think everybody was way too gobsmacked. It was just like a, what? I mean, and we're, we can't tell about our benefactor, but let's just say they know him as the Monopoly Man. Exactly. You might as well, if we're bringing it all has he man in there, like a real fighting with Nerf guns.

Yes. Nice. It's stupid. Yeah. I mean, here's the thing. Maybe it'll somehow inspire them to make a watchable G.I. Joe movie. There you go.

I mean, G.I. Joe needs this. I mean, no one, like, none of those movies ever worked. They've done it four to five times. No one's watched a single one of them. That's Snake Eyes movie? Who saw that? No one in the world. That's a $100 million secret movie.

And if someone, you know, listen to this has seen Snake Eyes. I'm sorry, but that was just a government project. You didn't actually see it. you got like M.K. Ultrad. There was like something in your drink. They just told you that. Yeah. The only snake guys for me is that excellent De Palma movie. Yeah. Oh yeah. Great. Yeah. It's good one.

Because it's three bad G.I. Joe movies and Stake Eyes. So it's four? I think it's two and then the Snake Eyes movie. Yes. Because it's G.I. Joe, then G.I. Joe with Dwayne Johnson where everybody gets killed for the most part. Yes. And then I think it. Wasn't there like also one that's like collateral or so? I don't know.

There's two actual G. G.I. Joe movies. And then I think Snake Eyes is the third one in that. That's what I thought too. G.I. Joe retaliation. That's the second one. That's the second one. And the Rise of Cobra was the first one. Okay. And then Snake Eyes, you are correct. Because I think that was the thing where they were like, oh,

we'll do like origin story movies for all of these G.I. Joe characters and who could get? I don't know, man. You had Channing Tatum and Dwayne the Rock Johnson. Maybe you don't know how to make this movie. Maybe you don't know. Like, you had all. I mean, I would tell you to get a better director and better writers, but I know you don't give a fuck about that.

So, yeah, all you can do is just say, like, I guess they are like, make Josh too O'Mell was actually part of G.I. Joe when he was helping to transformers. And that, it might be what we see, dude. I don't know. That'd be great. He looks at the business card. It's just a business card that says G.I. Joe, which why G.

G.I. Joe would have business cards. That doesn't matter here, folks. Oh, here's a way to tie it all in. John M. Chu directed G.I. Joe Retaliation and in the Heights. That's right. Oh, there you go. That's right. Well, he, isn't he who's directing those wicked movies? Sure.

Yes, he is. Well, here's my question. So, like, you know, G.I. Joe's always famously have, I'm not only like Transformers, really stupid names. What's Michael E. Kelly's, what's Michael Kelly's, uh, code name here? Is he like boardroom or is he like, hairplug? Deal maker. Deal maker. H.R. Maybe just HR.

HR. That's good. That's what it is. I like that. It's got to hair retaliation. I'm going to tell you about a secret project nobody's ready for. You're the first one to know about it. It's called Project Barney. We've got this purple dinosaur. And we went when Earth is on the verge of collapse, we will send him into battle and he will destroy all. The serious Barney movie, right, where it's like you're getting all these hints that it might be a Barney movie. And then you hear, because we love these covers, right? We love old Dickensian. little girl ghost covers.

I love you. You love me. And everyone in the audience, like, oh, shit, it's Barney. I'm fucking, my childhood should never end. I'm 50 years old. I want to keep seeing it. I want to keep seeing it. We need you to join Project Telatubby in order to help.

Are you fighting the Telitubby invasion? Yes. Or, yeah, yeah. The big dildo on the head one. Yeah, totally. What if it's a thing? turn you into a teletub. If Barney and the telitubes fell into public domain,

we could start making like they're doing with those abysmal fucking Winnie the Pooh horror movies. Oh, God. Unwatchable horseshit that is. Worst movie I've seen this year by quite a margin. Of course it is. It's the worst thing. Of course it is.

I mean, look, if it's a good kill, I'm fine. But like, it's not good kills. Terrible. Nothing. Terrible. Terrible movie. But that is the end of this movie. We'll go around the horn here. Final thoughts.

Recommendations for this, our emergency episode, Chris Cabin. You know, it's not good. You know, I see why a completist might want to see it. I didn't find much. It's mostly inoffensive, which I give it. Like, that's the smart thing Bumblebee and this do is that they're both, like, they are for kids and for teenagers. They're not really trying to get the Armymen very excited about the child's toys.

But hey, you know, I like, the cast enough but like yeah most of this I was just checked out yeah Eric Siska yeah not a big recommend for me I understand why you all love it and adore it out there

in the big wide world I mean it's okay to like a movie I'm glad everyone's having fun with it all my opinions need like a last stress yeah yeah like no it's actually good please don't complain please no I mean it didn't really

yeah it didn't really do it for me because eventually all these movies just get to that point where it's a bunch of fucking big metalmen fighting each other and it's like well I know all these characters are in the other movies and this is 94 right whatever it's a no for me

but I'm glad everyone loves it Steve saying it you know it's it's a no for me to it's it's weirdly like to Chris's point it's inoffensive it's like it's certainly shorter than most of those Bay movies so that's a plus it is less ponderous than a lot of those Bay movies which is also a plus

but at the same time like I still feel like if somebody the devil put a gun to my head and you have to watch another Transformers movie I'd probably just put the first one on and that's fine you know what I mean like this isn't like my favorite because it's so short whatever I think that you know that I do think that the the maximals were done dirty here I wanted more fucking pieces to rise and I didn't care for Mega Man

and the G.I. Joe you got to get the fuck out of here with you just literally have to find some sort of a craft could be a boat could be a car could be a fucking helicopter to get the fuck out of here with that. And you know who could who could build that, Bob, the builder. That's how it's it. Oh, fuck. Yes. Wow. Yes.

Ready player one forever. Yeah, I love it. All my friends. All my guys. All my toys are back. All my toys. Space jams forever. Oh, sure. Make everything connected.

I will say that I should probably go find my cub because I'm the lone wolf this this week. I would recommend it. I was actually kind of surprised, you know, I think, again, going along that bumblebee formula of like cut out the 37 human characters and you just have two

which are played by Dominic Fishback and fucking Anthony Ramos two I think really good actors the action held my attention I will say on the editing I could follow these fights scenes better than I can in a lot of those Bay movies I appreciate it even though it is

like yes less to render yada yada we're in a field where you can also see things a little more clearly than in a big muddled cityscape loved the soundtrack. I thought that added a lot to it. It gave it a nice sort of time and place. And yeah, I will agree

the fucking, the Maximiles got done dirty. For a movie called Rise of the Beast, they barely got it up. Barely right. But that is going to do it for this episode of We Hate Movies. If you want more WHM content, head on over to patreon.com. We got a really fun episode this month on Indiana Jones

and The Last Crusade on We Love Movies. Speaking of us talking about sequels and whatnot. Probably the last good Indiana Jones movie we'll see we'll see but I'm pretty sure we will be continuing this beast thread later this week on animation

damnation Steve is that right that's right rise we're talking about at Beast Wars at long last a fun episode about Dynobot being cloned right double DinoBot yeah exactly it's episode he gets it both ways yeah he's getting it all ends in that

hell yeah we also we just laid down a very fun gleepe gloss Yes, on Boss Nass. Speaking of Rise of the Beast. Yes, that's him. The big heavyset guy ruling the Gungans. We had fun talking about him. He's the best motorboat and son of a bitch this side of the galaxy.

We also have an episode of a once in a lifetime coming out on Stockton My Doctor, a sleepwalker's nightmare, I believe it is. If you join Patreon, you can hear us talk about every sleep by my dog. Sleep by my doctor. That's what he wants. I want to sleep by you, sleep by me. But we will be completing the entire series. You can listen to all the episodes we've done in similarly.

Melro 210. We got Wedding Bell Blues where we have the finally Mel and Jackie at tying the Oh, yeah. It's finally happened folks. We're doing the deed, Jackie. Get married. Not to be outdone. By the end of this month, we will release a full length, sinkable commentary.

That's right. For you spider heads, Spider-Man, no way home. We're going to revisit that movie. None of us have seen it since theaters and we'll all just kind of react to it live. Have some fun. Have some fun to Foe voice. That's right. Just a little hang, just some buds hanging watching a movie.

And of course on the main feed here, the summer blockbuster extravaganza. It goes back into regular programming mode with what motion picture are we talking about? You better set your clock back 10 years because we're going to the mall. Oh, yeah. Paul Blart Mall cop. And we need some help with that. So we got Ben Worcester to help us out. Oh, yes.

That was quite an epic conversation on that happy Madison movie. So be on the lookout for that next Tuesday here on We Hate Movies. But until then, I've been Andrew Jupin. Stephen Zadak. Eric Siska, Brooklyn, Baby. Chris Cabin. Take it easy. Brooklyn.

Brooklyn. Brooklyn, Brooklyn, Brooklyn. That was a hit-gum-pment-combe.