We Hate Movies - S13 Ep683: Garfield: The Movie (with Bob Mackey & Henry Gilbert of Talking Simpsons)

Episode Date: July 4, 2023

On this week’s episode, the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza heads to Toon Town as the guys welcome Bob Mackey and Henry Gilbert back to the program to chat about the totally abysmal live-action/animation hybrid, Garfield! Was Bill Murray that much of a ‘get’ for this movie that the studio accepted this disinterested, nothing vocal performance? Why is Garfield shaking his ass to the Black Eyed Peas and Baha Men in this movie? And how come Garfield is the only animal that’s a cartoon here? WOOF. PLUS: Thank GOD for Tobo in this movie! Garfield stars Breckin Meyer, Jennifer Love Hewitt, and Stephen Tobolowsky, with the voices of Nick Cannon, Alan Cumming, David Eigenberg, Brad Garrett, Jimmy Kimmel, Debra Messing, Richard Kind, Debra Jo Rupp, and Bill Murray as the voice of Garfield; directed by Peter Hewitt. Want more WHM? Join our Patreon fam today and instantly unlock hours and hours of exclusive bonus content, starting as low as $3 a month! Be sure to get in early and get your tickets for the WHM Holiday Extravaganza where we’re talking The Santa Clause! Check out the WHM Merch Store featuring new Skeleton Juice, Spring Tour 2023, KONG & DILF Den designs! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/whm and get on your way to being your best self. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

this week on the program gobble up your lasagna that's definitely drawn like manicotti because on this episode we're chatting about garfield the movie i'm andrew jupin stephen sadak eric ciscus chris cabin bob mackie henry gilbert and we hate movies Hello. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in, as always. That's right. The summer blockbuster extravaganza goes to almost animation town. We got a live action hybrid here. We're talking Garfield, the movie from 04, directed by Peter Hewitt. And welcoming back to the program, we're pleased to have our friends. Bob Mackey and Henry Gilbert, of course, from the very popular Talking Simpsons program, fellas. How you doing? It's we hate movies and friends. That's right. I'm some sort of bookish pig. figure. Then I guess I call Wade the very anxious duck then. I presume that we're here to talk about the three seconds

of Simpsons footage in this movie, which was a cold glass of water in the desert for me. Oh boy. If there was ever a you know, a reminder of what you're missing by watching this, the little three seconds of Santa's Little Helper did it. Did anyone know what episode that was just off

the top, like in the three seconds you got it? Like for bonus points. I think it was. Was it the canine Mutiny Henry? I think it is the Lattie one. I think a delivery of Bart's things he bought with his expensive or with his fake credit card is about... Oh, yes. Santos

El Halper, of course. Of course. If you're wrong, the internet is going to tear you to shred. Just set that one up. You guys should get... This would be awesome dude. Like, there's Frankieac out there, of course, very invaluable resource. You guys should come up with like a framed, but with Simpsons

only, and it's like, guess the episode? And you have like five frames of the episode to do it and it could be like a Talking Simpsons game. That is, I mean, if you do ones of the family, that's the like you, that would be the first one or just like the front door.

No, the biggest team would just be the establishing shot that they just reused in like a 70 episode. Yes. Yeah. Just the house. So crazy filmography from this, Peter Hewitt, by the way, started out pretty okay. I guess. Bill and Ted's bogus journey. Wow. Okay. Then we got things like Tom and Huck

starring JTT. And I think that guy that started a cult, is he No, Brad Renfrew. It's Brad Renfrew. It passed away. Yeah, yeah. He wasn't in a cult. I don't think. I don't think so either. Dude also did the borrowers with John Goodman

and a bunch of British people. Zoom, starring Tim Allen and a bunch of kids. Wow. And people will tell you that's a good movie. Am I wrong? Oh, no, I guess I get that mixed up with Sky High, which people will tell you. is like an entertaining family superhero movie. I will give it that. Plus,

Kurt Russell, a definite one-up over Tim Allen. Of course. Definitely. Come on. Zoom is a movie where Tim Allen plays like a retired superhero who goes to like the superhero academy to teach all these rag tag soon-to-be superhero kids

how to rough, rough, rough, or whatever. I think one of them has Bruce Campbell, right? Oh, is Bruce Campbell in in Zoom? He's in Zoom or the other one. I want to think Zoom because that's the only reason I would have paid attention to it back then. And then

also wildly, this dude directed Home Alone, colon, the holiday heist, and for Steve's legislation, that is indeed Home Alone 5. Oh, boy. That's two away from where you want to be. You know what I mean?

He went from bogus journey to making bogus movies. That's right. that's well done. All in one. This is how that totally makes sense of this guy ends up directing a Garfield movie. Yeah.

Totally. Ideal person to get it. I really do have to say I was so, I've never seen this movie. I didn't go into theater. I didn't watch it when it came out like VOD or anything like that. I was shocked to find out that he's the only cartoon. Yes.

That is kind of weird, right? Like you couldn't bother with. like Nirmal or Odie Odie. It's just famous designs. They're just as famous as the other, not as famous, but pretty goddamn famous. You're saying that they have like a regular dog is Odie.

Yeah, yeah. A regular cat is normal, but normal does speak. Yes, they all speak. Well, except for Odie, which is, and actually I want to put this to the Simpsons guys because one of the reasons they're on here is they do a great show called What a Cartoon as well. And do a lot of

different cartoons other than Simpsons. And I know that Henry specifically, you're like a Garfield maniac, right? Is that correct? Is that correct? You know, I've been known to enjoy a lot of Garfield in the past. There's a Garfield toy behind Bob. I'm looking around his apartment now. There's Garfield paraphernalia, let's say.

Yeah, no, I grew up loving Garfield comic strips. I would cut them out of the newspaper and paste him into a book for a whole year. I did that even. And Garfield and Friends was like my favorite Saturday morning. cartoon for a time. I know Garfield lore too much to be. So when this film is filled with things that completely destroy Garfield lore, it's why I never even hate watched it until now. Wow. That was my question. Did either of you guys make it into the theater? I guess the answer is no. No, no. This is a first time watch for me. And actually, Henry and I a few weeks ago,

we were lucky enough to see a 35 millimeter print of Who Frame Roger Rabbit at the Castro Theater in San Francisco. This is like that. experience is taking place in hell absolutely see this is great because I was worried because yeah I knew Henry was a Garfield head and I was like I'm going to feel real bad if he's like you know

this holds a special place in my heart for da da da da no no thank God you haven't even seen it until yesterday beautiful no one can love this nobody can it is not possible I refuse to believe that anybody could love and I was also I had all the Garfield books

of comics. I had all those. I read them. And Garfield and Friends was the coveted spot. Before I went to school, it was the last show you could complete before you had to go and get to the butt stop. So I watched it every

morning essentially. And I loved it. And I'm the current way movies are made really poisoned my brain because I am now waiting at the end of this movie for like John to call his mother and be like, oh, you know,

Orson's doing pretty good in the bad. Oh, yep. You know, we fed Roy this morning. He's mouthy as ever. It's kind of shocking they went to Paris for the sequel instead of the barn barn. Barriard. Just do that.

Or London, Eric. They go to London for a tale of two kiddies. Yeah, yeah. Oh, really? Yes. I believe. What's a tale of two cities? Is that about London? What's London and Paris? It's the two cities. Yeah. Yeah. No, I, well, that I know is because, well, I made a guess and then I looked it up on box office mojo that like this was a successful film in America, but it made like twice as much money internationally. So Europeans clearly love this. And so like, well, the sequel has to be in Europe then. Just like the second Smurfs movie took place in Europe. But interesting. Yeah, that makes a ton of sense. Well, I mean, like, this movie was at least 10 years too late. Maybe 20. Like really, like, when we were talking about in early 04, I'm like, what, a Garfield movie?

Absolutely. For what and for whom? I mean, Henry, obviously, he's the biggest Garfield fanatic. I'll let him have that. But we are all of the Garf generation. We were born to be Garfield fans. The cartoon was on exactly when we were kids and it stopped when we started becoming teenagers. All that stuff happened.

I feel like the best time for a Garfield movie would have been 1991 and they could have gotten Tom Hanks to play John Arbuckle in his career slump. Garfield, there's a puppet. Everything else is a puppet. We got a good movie. A salvageable movie could be made in that era. I would even say you can go a puppet, you could do a fat orange cat with just a voice track, do like a homeward bound kind of a scenario. As long as the mouth isn't moving, dude. Yes, exactly.

And that would be true to the cartoon, which is great. But yeah, because you do have that in this movie. Some of these other dogs and cats are moving their mouths when they talk and it is unsettling. There's no reason for that, right? Because it's not like humans and no one can hear them. It's all to let's all, but it's all Jim Davis telepathy is my understanding. I feel like there's a discremency too because he can talk to Nirmal and he can't talk to Odie, but he can talk to Luca, this bad dog down the street who does respond to him.

Well, Odie famously doesn't talk. Like he didn't talk in the cartoon. Did other dogs talk? Yeah. Some of us do you. I think so. Yeah. So that was Odie's weird.

I guess. When they made the choice, I wonder at one point they made the choice. Because like cheap wise and they want to make this movie cheap, you can tell. But like if they just didn't have mouth lip sync and any mouths moving on the characters, they would have saved a whole lot of money in trouble. Yep. Yep. So I feel like that they were told like, hey, no, you see, do you see how much money snow buddies made or cats and dogs? Like the mouths have to move on these stupid animals.

Dr. Doolittle probably too. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, man. Oh, right. The Eddie Murphy movies were definitely out at this point. Yeah. But that's the thing is you make it so unsettling that Garfield in this movie is this amorphous blob non-looking cat thing. Like, it's the classic Garfield designer close to it, not great. We're trying to get that.

But, you know, you fail at that. But at the same time, like, and then there's all these other real animals, you're like, what is Garfield? Well, that's the weird thing, right? is because I feel like they're trying to go for some sort of weird middle ground between like the famous beloved cartoon visage of Garfield and then like a photorealistic thing and you can't go too far either way because if you have a completely photorealistic Garfield it's just no one's going to care it's not going to look like the character but then if you go to cartoon then you have the rest of these real life animals what the fuck did that thing

escape from Toon Town what's happening exactly I think there was some like secret of the Ouse stuff that. Oh, that Yeah. It's possible. Yeah, it makes some scenes unsettling because, you know, in the comic or the cartoon, you watch Garfield kick Odie off the table and it's funny because Odie is just this freakish drawing. It looks nothing like a dog, really. But then when Garfield

is kicking around this real dog, you're thinking of a real dog made out of flesh and bones. Just getting punted off a couch. It's unsettling and I don't like it. It doesn't make me happy to see this. How many times do they shove a real dog off on a blue screen set? Like, you know? I mean, at least for that

final shot at the end of the movie he kicks that dog off the chair like four times yeah uh-huh and that's some dude in a blue screen outfit just shoving a dog i would almost argue there's not enough animal abuse in a way because to be fair to the true source material didn't he always fuck with normal like mailing that thing out mailed to abu-dabi absolutely and also um uh normal normal normal looks nothing like not even not even not even not cartoonish it's a totally different fucking cat what are we talking about that's normal it drives me crazy that it's a Siamese cat who just is like his friend who agrees to do things. And he's voiced by Steve from Sex and the City.

Dude, and that is how you are saving some money, man. You get Steve from Sex in the City and I'm doing a normal voice. Isn't that a money saver? I'm a walking coupon. I mean, even for Garfield, every choice is wrong. The choices that the original Garfield make are fine, but they want to deviate from them. Like, John is not a loser. He's just the most bland Breckenmeyer character ever.

And then Liz is not this battle axe who has to put up with an awful sexual harasser. She immediately loves him unconditionally from the first second we see her. Well, every woman pines after the guy that's been jerking off to her for 20 years. You know what I mean? That is the thing that don't go to Zales. Just tell her that you would jerk it off to her since high school. That's how you win her heart. And it will turn out that she's been jerking off to you for all that time as well.

That's that's what the real prize is and you will find it. It's meant to be. Yeah. Who needs the barnyard set up when you have that twist ending of Jennifer Love Hewitt has also had a crush on John Arbuckle this whole time. What a twist. He's like, oh, and wow, you love your cat. You're a single man who obsess over me and you've owned a cat that you've gotten really fat and love him a whole bunch. Wow.

This dude's yearbook has been reopened more than anyone in the history of American High School. Sticky pages tearing. Oh, yeah. The volleyball team pictures are just destroyed at this point. It's like Chevy Chase leafing through the magazine and Christmas vacation. It's just pages tearing out on his hand. He's got sappy hands. Man sap, we call that.

Every internet bookmark he has is of her Facebook of various different. I mean Hot keys, dude He's getting there real quick Oh wow Very hot keys for sure I just I also think they fundamentally

Fuck up something key About Garfield And I think it has a lot to do With the fact that Bill Murray Is the voice of fucking Garfield Was Lorenzo music not available Was he dead by this point? Oh that's too bad

The day the music died 2001 but you know what The day Mr. Music died Mr. Music to you. But if, if, you know, what Bob put out there a minute ago was true, if you got

this movie in like 91 or something, Lorenzo music right there. And like, sorry, that's the only reason Bill Murray's doing this fucking voice is because he sounds like Lorenzo music. But it's like upgrade, right? Because Lorenzo music was, you know, upgrade. I'm sorry, I was doing our

quotes because it's like, oh, Lorenzo music is like the cheap guy doing Pete Bankman on Ghostbusters. Right. And now we're going to get the actual guy who did Pete Vankman from Ghostbuster. But he is, it's because at the time also Bill Murray, if you could get him, you get him. Because everybody was obsessed with him. The t-shirt started happening around this time. I remember the posters started happening around this time.

The philosophy books about fucking Bill Murray happened around this time. Osrosis Jones had happened at this point. Huge hit. Wave were waiting for broken flowers for him to be like actually. great again. But here's the thing with this is he acts like a diva in this movie. And pain in

the ass was always the feeling I got from the cartoon. And that is a very it's important distinction I think. Because in this one, it's all about him flaunting. Every fucking joke is about him. I'm so fat and fucking happy. And I

am ha! How are you doing? Lazzania. Like just after stuff that shreds your earloat. But don't we identify with that, Chris? No, no. It feels like they got merchandising Garfield instead of Comic Garfield to be in the series. Totally. They didn't get Comic Garfield.

They got fucking stuck to the back of your mom's Ford Windstar Windshield Garfield. Because also Garfield had like a dark sarcasm. Again, now I'm going a little far with it. But it was like there was like that like a famous joke from the show which is like whoever made line dancing should be drug out to the street and shot. Like you know what I mean?

that's like a kind of a darkish joke that like you know that's kind of what I'm looking for Steve there is a dark joke there is a prison suicide joke later on that's true which is like I appreciate it but the movie should have been like 81 minutes of those kinds of jokes you know what I mean you guys covered the the Shrek movies and we recently covered it on our podcast the first Shrek and Bill Murray and this reminds me of Eddie Murphy in that first movie where they get a big comedian in and they're very intimidated so they just go go just go on riff just riff your heart out we're going to keep it all in and because of that all of the riffs are these just half ass off the top of your head tastes like

chicken kind of jokes that are just nothing they're just like they might as well be filler yeah I mean because that's I think the the difference there Bob is that Eddie Murphy voicing donkey especially that first time was truly given a shit and the thing about Bill Murray is like he's made a whole career out of not giving a shit and he doesn't give a shit about this and like you hear various interviews with him talking about this movie and it's like clearly this dude did not give a fuck whatsoever. He also

has that fake story about like oh it's like oh this is written by it's by some this movie's written by two dudes one of uh I got it right in front of me Alex Socolo who I think is a family guy guy and then I know cheaper by the dozen guy and Joel Cohen with an age

and he's like you know when I go to the script I thought it was wow the Coens are doing it that's exciting and I just I didn't read it, but I agreed to it. It's like, no, you didn't. And also, I mean, I'm sorry, Bill Murray, but if that is a true story, dude, how stupid are you? What do you think of

the Coen brothers are making a Garfield movie? What are you talking about? You fucking idiot. I think we're a couple years from the Noah Bombach, Madagascar. Yeah. It was a real, fucking, that one was right out of nowhere. I mean, we're days away from Greta Gerwig Barbie.

So, yeah. There is that. of Gerwig and Noah Baumbach, Barbie. He fucking wrote it with her. No, I feel like Bill Murray timeline-wise, he'd be about like six months after this is when Life Aquatic comes out.

So he could have been recording secondary dialogue for this for like ADR while finishing up Steve Seizu. But now today, the safest way to make a movie with Bill Murray is him locked in a room recording dialogue.

Away from any actor or PA. Yeah, I feel like at the time we were like, well, you know, he made the movie an accident, he's blameless. And I do remember at the time, Jennifer Love Hewitt went on The Daily Show to promote this movie. And John Stewart took her to task like she was dick fucking Cheney over being in this movie. Jesus Christ. Sometimes he got to be a little much. Remember his pizza wars? You would always go, you'd always say, oh, New York pizza versus others.

I don't give a fuck. Yeah. And look at the terrible fucking movie he made during the pandemic. It only existed so podcasters have something to do that week. What was that called again, Chris? What was that? Irresistible, I want to say. People found it pretty resistible.

It is deeply resistible. Never watch it. It's one of the worst things I've ever seen. Because it's one of those, it's one of those like, can't people in American politics just admit everyone's a little wrong? And it's like, bitch, you fucking put that out during the Trump years? What is the matter with you? Not that I need people to be nakedly commercialistic, but I kind of wish that they were

because there was also that if we remember the Alva the Chipmunks kerfuffle between David Cross and Pat and Oswald where Pat and Oswald was like I threw that script across the street in the garbage

and David Cross picked it up and I'm like I don't know dude everyone's just trying to make shitty money everybody does garbage everybody does garbage Cross had the best comeback to that too do you remember that part of the story

I do I barely do but he was like he was like all right sure shit on me for doing fucking chipmunks and the squeak and whatever he was like he was like but one of my dreams in my life was to always be able to afford to buy like a mountain house on a lake somewhere in the country and doing the fucking alvin and the chipmunks movie allowed me to do that so like fuck you like who are you to judge i'm sorry pat and oswald weren't you appearing here and there on six seasons of fucking uh almost at the shield what

is it king of queens i thought you were going to say no no i mean yes that but what the fuck was that's too. Oh, Shield. There we go. I kept on to say SWAT. Oh, he's agents of Shield. He is, he was fucking happy as hell to be in that movie. So like, come on. MCU scraps, he just gobbles up, right? Because he's like a little fat computer. He's modoc too, right? Yeah, whatever that is. That's

the key to it's because to him, like, because he's a nerd, quote unquote, and David Cross isn't a nerd, it's okay for him to do things like that. Whereas David Cross, he is given this patina that is totally, Totally not. He didn't ask for that he has to be above all that shit,

which he very clearly is not and has never been. It's just so funny. It's just so funny. It's like dudes, you both came up as alt comics on the fucking indie scene in the early 90s. Let's all relax. And similarly, Jennifer, Jennifer Love Hewitt, you know what I mean?

She's just doing her best. It's better than doing a lifetime prostitute movie or whatever else she's got going. Or then redoing your, then redoing your lifetime prostitute movie into a lifetime prostitute TV series. Yes. Which also lasted for a bit

and was not a continuation of the movie but was indeed a second adaptation of the same story from true events. What did John Stewart think she was going to do? Do you think she was going to do the merchant of Venice? Like what the fuck? It's Jennifer

Love Hewitt. She's good at what she does. But it's not like she ever showed any grand ambitions to be like the major star of the moment like she was in teen movies and then she was in TV this is the kind of stuff you do this is back when John Stewart would have John McCain on and throw his armor at him and say

this guy's great isn't he folks then he like threw acid in JLH's face I also just saw recently people dug up when he had on RFK Jr. in like 2006 and he said like you're you're finally talking about some stuff with vaccines that I think people need to hear

like you I love that. John Stewart is not blameless, is all I'm saying. But yeah, why be so me to Jennifer? It also does feel like he had Bill Murray on the show around the same time. Bill Murray doesn't promote things anyway. But if he showed up, no fucking way would he say like, oh, I was here in Garfield. Why did you do this shit?

Yeah, he wouldn't say that shit. He wouldn't say that shit to Breck and Meyer. He wouldn't have done that. I'm glad we're all sticking up for Jennifer Love Hewitt. So this movie begins. Sure does. another Baja men song. And

there is another Baja men song. This was so I've taken to, now that Apple has put the Shazam shortcut in the iOS like drop-down menu on your phone, I'm like Johnny Shazam over here. Anytime I see a song for the show

or like we're doing Melro 2 and O and I'm like, is this a fake song? Like I will Shazam it instantly. And this popped up and the first thing I saw was Baja Men and I was like, well, that's got to be wrong. no they had they had an amazing career from who let the dogs out being a hit that they were like they before everybody associated you know all star with shrek the big song from shrek was the bahaman song the new one for that like that was the one they got the music video oh yeah okay that's right i vaguely remember that yeah all right bahaman and and black eyed peas who we'll talk about a lot later because they're in this movie a lot go into that same like where you make a song

you're like, I hope this is the song of the summer, but then all of a sudden it turns into like the song of kiddie aerobics and then you're just like and kids are like bouncing their ass to it like fake dancing. Now you just made kid ass dancing music and that is what your life has become. Kid ass music pays

no no, dude you make a shit ton of money kid ass dancing music. But Steve's right though because if your song all of a sudden is covered on the latest kids Bob volume. Exactly. People will not be fucking dancing to it in the club at the same time. It's like, I already had to listen to this in the minivan with the kids.

That's why like anyone's like, oh, man, you listen to Imagine Dragons? No, I'm not six years old. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I'm not at a water park right now. The tone of Garfield is a Lou Rawls song opening your movie. Yes. That would be awesome. For an exciting, like this exciting like, hey, ha, ha, ha,

hey like this type of music over just a long pan across photos of Garfield that it just feels it's just that this is like you know for for movies especially like this is a song that would be placed if the movie was taking place and the character was on vacation or something it's not a slow pan over like black and white photos of John adopting Garfield and all the fun times they've had and also this world's number one cat trope. which is clearly stolen valor that's a fake present you won nothing you want nothing

Garfield that's right okay I do think the ideal tone for this movie is the apartment scenes in the long goodbye you want Elliot Gould and his cat like vibes between these two I think and then you might have a good movie

out of that but not this kiddie shit but I mean like the weird thing is you get all these photos which reveal what Garfield looks like. And then they have Garfield under the covers like, ooh, who's under there? I'm like, I just saw it, dude. Like, you know what I mean? Like, yeah. It's not this thing where I'm like, I've been waiting 30 years see Garfield on screen. You just blew it with these

shitty photographs. A couple of questions about this opening up like Monday morning scene here. One, I always loved, you know, in the comics and in the cartoon, Garfield just had the nice little square bed. This like adorned oak bed frame. that this cat has like John Arbuckle that's weird dude that's totally weird that's what you call wasting $100

your cat will never be on that fucking you know what I mean you can buy it you can buy it it's just that you're never going to see a cat's ass on that thing but it's deranged you're right it's deranged to have that well those are the kinds of pieces of furniture that a man that is still jerking off and crushing on the woman he was obsessed with 20 years ago

hats they do they do spend their money on this shit So follow-up question to all this, though, if Garfield, who famously hates Mondays, and this shockingly transferred over

into this adaptation, they kept the hatred of Mondays, why then would this cat have an alarm clock? Why doesn't the human being who has a job have the alarm clock? There's just so much about this

right off the bat that you're like, oh, this is going to be a dumb movie? No, I think that they sometimes forget at the Garfield when they want to bring in jokes that we're in like comic strips they forget that in the comic strip Garfield is just a man in a cat he's not actually a cat

but for animation wise most of the time to like well but he does need to walk on all fours and move pretty much like a cat so that that is the biggest disconnect with like oh he he sleeps under the covers then pulls him back and then he hugs his his

stuffed animal pokey right right right I got to say these hands Garfield had kind of freaked me out. Like, kind of bony. I was like, the weird attention to detail on, I watched this on Max. The shot that's like behind

the text or whatever is just a close up of Garfield's face and you can see one of his ears and it's like light hitting the back of the ear and you can see like veins in it kind of. It's way too photorealistic

and none of that transfers to actual movie. I don't know where that still is from. It's unsettling to look at, though. The CG is, it could be worse. I feel like it's actually better than like Thor Love and Thunder, for instance. Yeah, you might be right on that. I do think to Bob's

point, though, like that the CG on Garfield is whatever, is one thing, but Garfield interacting with things. Garfield interacted with John specifically is horrendous, especially when you view it next to something like Roger Rabbit, we're thinking about shadow and where he, like, I just don't even think Breck and

Meyer knew where this thing was supposed to be half the time. And Roger Robert came out like what 25 years before this movie? Like it's insane how well they did. And I get like a lot of it's like budgetary shit and like people who are making your movies but hey just to point out there speaking

to that really quickly. Do you notice who shot this motherfucker? Hey Dean Cundee. Are you kidding me? No I'm not. I was shot. It's scarier than any Halloween picture. Well it makes sense. That's damn thing. Back to the Roger Rabbit thing, it's a big cheat in this movie that, I mean, we mentioned it up front, but Garfield's mouth moves, but an early drop line in this movie is John, I know you can't hear me, but so John and Garfield never talk. They don't have to match eye lines ever. The CGI things just kind of exist in the frame. Occasionally he'll hug Garfield to pick him up, but it's very rare that he interacts with Garfield or actually talks to him. I wish there should just be one line where, or just a moment where when Garfield is talking, you like, he's.

hear things how Arbuckle hears it. You just hear like, mea, me or whatever, because I need to know what he hears when he's looking at Garfield and Garfield is talking and his mouth is moving. What does he hear? I mean, also I ask myself, okay, when Garfield looks like Elvis and like does a little dance, what would a human see if they were in the room with him? Do they see a cat doing that? That's a great point, especially the scene when Garfield trying to get him to see the TV very urgently. it would have been cool to see what is on John Arbuckle's side of yeah you're totally right you're totally right and I wonder Bob about that line because I'd the thought like is that also possibly for like all the slow joes in the back row that have no idea what this Garfield property is and it's like okay mr. Thompson one last time when the cat talks the humans can't hear him go yeah absolutely and I think there we don't get that reversing that Henry mentioned in that where we would hear the meowing of Garfield because people would

think, well, he can't talk anymore? A witch stole Garfield's voice. This movie's getting interesting. That would be interesting, right? Dude, you know what? That is indeed a better plot to this movie. So, you know, whenever we see their routine, they have breakfast. John Arbuckle eating this hash

in a dash, microwavable corned beef hash. Excuse me, he is not eating it. Garfield is eating that. He is eating cats. shit food. His intention was to eat the corned beef but the joke is that Garfield switched it because he is indeed a selfish little stinker.

If I could compliment the special effects in this movie a little bit sometimes when Garfield has a big fat cat tries to jump on something and gets halfway up and has to scoot up. I'm like, that's kind of cute. It makes me, as a former cat owner, I was

growing up who had an orange cat probably because I like Garfield so much. I like, oh, that does, that actually looks like him moving like a cat. Now, Garfield shouldn't move like a cat to look like Garfield, but as far as fat cat animation goes. Right. I mean, that's what I always loved about the cartoons animation of how Garfield moved was

like, he was always kind of like when you're hungover, shuffling to the refrigerator. Like, that's sort of how he walked. And I always loved that. Not so much here, but yeah. Lorenzo music played it that way. You know, there was a little bit more of a drone to it here. Bill Murray is just really, I mean, he doesn't have a voice for it. I'm going to do Bill Murray.

He's literally reading lines. To date this movie also, hardcore 2004, he makes a fucking Atkins diet joke right here. Where he's like, oh, gee, I'm going off the Katkins diet today. Oh, man, that fucking sucks. We get the got milk reference. He looks at you and he says, got milk, and it lets you know. no, you're in for 70 more minutes of this.

Well, then you're treated to what we all really wanted, which was about 30 seconds to a minute of Garfield shaking his ass to James Brown. You get to hear Bill Murray cover James Brown. Doesn't that feel good? Doesn't everybody like this?

You're talking about the end of it? No, because he does it early. He does it twice, though. Oh, I see. And at the end of the movie when he's doing, I feel good. And it's like just nothing like the movie's over with and you see him do the whole little thing. I wondered if that was like proof of concept for the animation. Like here's a scene where he's going to dance to fucking James Brown on the on the porch and

he just kind of does it because it's like totally disconnected from where the rest of the movie is at that point. Yeah. And they just left it in or something. It's to tell viewers you're going to see him dance way more and you better get used to it. Yeah. He's going to dance. I this.

Oh, go ahead. Henry. Well, I mean, in some of the specials. like in the very first Garfield special he does a heavily choreographed dance is their way to show off. He's animated now he's dancing. So it's like Garfield dancing isn't exactly

a thing he's never done but still he is not known for his activity and constantly dancing. I blame the success of Kangaroo Jack before this movie came out of that kids love a dancing CGI animal. Yeah that in Shrek we are in the immediate post Shrek

era and if you guys remember the DVD of Shrek that released later the year. The big advertising point was, we have extended the dance party sequence. You know why? Because now your kids are bopping their asses in the living room. That's

what we're doing. Get the black eyed bees go and pop those asses. How did we get here as a society? I mean, I guess 9-11 9-11 had a lot to do with it. Definitely helps. And then there's no doubt of it. And now we're adding longer scenes to Shrek.

And we're making Garfield. need to dance around their living room so they like shut up and go to bed. That's why they dance. They dance there right out. You know, the only kind of thing like that that I will give 100% approval to is I purchased the first Adam's family movie on 4K and I purchased something called the More Mamushka edition. And it's like the full number of them dancing the Mamushka in that movie. And I got to tell you, it kicks ass. I would recommend the more Mimushka edition of the Adams family.

Because that's Adams family and that was fucking Shrek. The Edm's family, it's a really good movie. It was Garfield v. Shrek this year because Shrek 2 also came out in 2004. Wow. Oh, man. I don't know what I hate more. Well, sadly, I will say Shrek 2 is the better movie.

I am not a fan of Shrek. Shrek 2 is leaps and bounds better than this movie. It's okay if you're listening and you like Shrek or you like the Garfield movie. that's your right. I mean, you don't. Don't lie. You don't. Chris, they've won. But it's over. It's over. We do meet Nirmal who instead of being a cat that's obsessed with how cutie is, is a cat that got kicked in the head by a horse yesterday. I don't get it. I got to get it. Like it's David Eichenberg, dude, that's like, that's his, that's what he does. That's what he does on sex in the city. That's what he's doing in the Garfield movie.

I'm kind of whispering with a New York accent. It's, I built my career on it. We do an astronaut gag. Like, it's a fun little gag, I guess, right? Nah, for a bunch of milk to get pissed in Garfield's mouth, pretty much. Yeah, thank you. Not great. Thank you, Henry.

He's fucking getting pissed on, man. It's weird with that milk shot. It's white piss, so film blank. Well, because I think it's all for the sake. It was written backwards for, like, okay, we need him to say Houston. We have a problem. How do we get there? also I would bet they were told like okay it's it's really hard to animate like a cat actually

licking if this cat is all digital and to lick up the milk that's really hard it just needs to be a stream of water or milk that just splashes into the middle of his mouth yeah exactly I mean watch how little Garfield actually eats on screen because that's way harder to animate you're totally right it's a lot of the aftermath of him eating absolutely the problem this movies like this make me think that we we're always talking about the algorithm movies now these this kind of makes me think it's always been there because you could like the way that he does like the quote it's all advertising like got milk stuff kathkins diet stuff and then but then it's also movie like lines like like henry just said and then he does the also i love the smell of blank

in the morning like as if it's an apocalypse now he's hanging under a car like fucking Max Cady and Cape Cere! At one point in this movie. You just feed all those shit into an algorithm and it's just a Garfield movie. Well, you know what it is, Chris? I think you're totally right and it's like we didn't have like the AI

back then to just fucking shoot it out the movie poop shoot. What you instead had, I would guess, is fairly close to the executives coming into the writer's room in that scene in the Pucci episode of The Simpsons. Yeah. Can you rostify him by 010%

needs more attitude like all that shit that's what it was like making this movie it's just a bunch of corporate committees like ah you know an apocalypse now reference would be funny that's for the dads taking their kids to see this movie I guess Shrek does constant movie quotes so yeah yeah

it's way worse and it's way more like out in the open too like they do that Cape Fear gag and like I mean I don't know who the fuck that's for but it's in there but it's not like Garfield's laughing in a movie theater this is more elegant movie than Shrek. Apparently

John Arbuckle was supposed to... What I do think is part of why this movie fails so spectacularly is... I mean, not to shit on Breck and Meyer, like, you know, it's... I got nothing against Breck and Meyer, I don't know. He's a totally charming guy, totally charming actor. But he's not the lead of a movie. And I think that like

Jim Carrey passed on this. Adam Sandler passed on this. Ben Stiller was involved. Like, those are people that you could make the Garfield movie around. All of those dudes, I would weigh or unless it's like specified his age in the comics or something like are older than Breckenmeyer

like he just feels too young for this he needs to be like a middle aged loser they were both playing high schoolers in the same movie and can't hardly wait like five years before this right right yeah exactly that's totally right I forgot Breck and Myers in that for two seconds love burgers

he feels too naturally laid back and cool to be John and I thought they were establishing that John is a loser joke pretty early because there's that gag where he basically has the Futurama's Bachelor Chow for breakfast. But that's about it in terms of how much of a loser John is. He's actually, we don't know where he works, but he's got a

very nice house. He's maybe a little bit socially inept, but he seems to just have it all going for him, except for, you know, no love life. Great call about the house, Bob. It's a gorgeous house. Sorry, Henry. He's got an gorgeous house. Wherever they live. This is an enormous house. I will say Breckett

Meyer, I've seen him I remember watching some robot chickens where he appears and he jokes of like, hey, I'm John Arbuckle motherfucker would be the line he'd say like he had some compare that to Bill Murray's joke in Zobbyland about like his one regret

is Garfield when he dies. But yeah, the food swap happens and everything. We see a little bit of John who yeah appears to kind of work from home. Maybe it's a hybrid thing. I don't really know what the job is supposed to be. Do they ever specify what

his career is in the animated world at all? Oh, important Garfield lore in the first comic strip, he says, my name is John, I'm a cartoonist. I think it's the first thing you see in the book of Genesis of Garfield. Yes, yeah, he says, my name's John Arbuckle. I'm a cartoonist. This is my cat Garfield.

And Garfield said, hey, I'm Garfield, I'm a cat. And this is my cartoonist, John Arbuckle. And even in Garfield and friends, they never remember that. Like, it never comes up again. He's just a bachelor. Like his job is bachelor. And like I feel like for the casting, you know, to make

it right, it needs to be a dude who could way more easily than you'd hope turn to family annihilation. Like he's just, he's one step away from snapping and like shooting a neighbor or something. And you just

don't get it with Breckin. He's way too laid back. He's way too much of a nice, quiet guy. John would get pissed off. Ready, throw Garfield out. the fucking window. He would say Garfield, which he never, he never says that once in this movie, even when he gets the most mad at him. He never does.

I know. Yeah. The family annihilator thing, you know what? I think, yeah, I'm got, yeah, it's, it's got to be Philip Seymour Hoffman. Phil Seymour Hoffman had to play Jim, John Arbuckle. Then you might get what you want. I still think like, my

two options are always going to be Elliot Gould and the yellow tabby for, the the Orange Tabby from Long Goodbye. Or just make a 2D fucking animated film like what the comic strip looks like and build a world around it.

And that might be something I enjoy. Can I tell you something? We're going to get that next year with Chris Pratt, everybody. Well, yeah, I don't know about any of that, but I'll tell you right now. It works really well for a movie that I didn't think needed to exist but I thought it turned out to be pretty great is that Peanuts movie.

Um, they stuck. I mean, could you imagine some sort of terrifying world where it's like a bunch of live action adults that you never see just walking. It's like human legs, but then just animated little peanut kids. That would be weird. And I'm sure someone pitched that at one point was like thrown out of the room or something. Well, I mean, have you guys seen Al Roker and Bob, you're thinking of the same thing. I'm thinking of like Carson Daly and the other, the today show. Was that what it was? Yeah, yeah. It was like the Halloween costume today show. And I just remember the Al Roker. outfit. That's right. Oh, fuck, yeah. That's got to drum up some nightmares tonight. Noted criminal Matt Lauer was also involved. Was he playing the football? No, I think he might have been Charlie Brown

or I think he's Linus if I'm correctly. Yeah. Oh, I see. No, Andrew, you're correct. The Peanuts movie is very good. There's like one mandatory pop song they have to jam in there. It really contains the dignity of the strip. It does. That music number really kind of takes you out of it. I remember seeing it at the Museum

of the Moving Image and just being like totally grooving with that movie and then the school dance happens there's a pop song and I was like physically like yeah like I moved my head further away from the screen it was so shitty this movie does a better job

about moving meal kits than I as a podcaster ever could because these disgusting ravi these disgusting lasanias that John Arbuckle brings home for himself for food for the week is horrendous

I don't know, man. This is how he's the loser to the point earlier. Like he's got the breakfast. He doesn't cook. He doesn't do anything. He has lasagna or corned beef ash every day. Why isn't he 400 pounds? I'll tell you what, dude.

Like if they want to bring this movie into any kind of reality, you need to be dealing with the real fact that this cat of yours is having severe diarrhea if you're lucky after all this lasagna. I mean, that's the thing. The joke is Garfield eats some lasagna. It's like, oh, no, Garfield, all my lasagna. Guess I have to take you to the vet. Which you absolutely have to do if a cat, it vibes that much lasagna. But, dude, he's not taking the cat to the vet

for the cat. He's taking the cat to the vet for the pussy. Oh, yeah. I feel like... I had to do it just once in a time. Oh, I like it. It feels like the real life John would be having a monthly go-fund me for Garfield. Well, it makes me doubt Liz's abilities, too, that she's like he's a perfectly healthy fat cat.

Like, no. And it's so cheaped out. That's when I realized how cheap they were being with Garfield. He eats the, he eats all the lasagna off screen. Like, isn't it? It's a funny visual to see a cat eat lasagna.

Just shove it in his mouth. Like, absolutely. It's, that's, I'm telling you, there were legions of Garfield fans pissed off about that in the theater. I guarantee it.

Would you get like Henry to make that shot work in reality? Would it be CGL lasagna? Would you get like a one of those bomb control robots? You'd like put it in douse it in blue and then get it under the lasagna and like trying to scratch it all up? And then no, yeah. We're fielded in post, I think. Yeah, I think so.

That's the way. You want to see real food flying around. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, I agree. Exactly. That comes in the second one. There's a five minute a bit. A soundtrack to the Black IP song, I believe, of them making lasagna.

lasagna in a castle, which is just thrilling. Oh, wow. But I mean, so they go to the vet and Jennifer Love Hewitt is playing Liz. And I, we just defended her and I think she's fine. I do think it's a little bit

knowing Liz from the strips and from everything. I'm like, you are putting Jennifer Love Hewitt in a role that is, Liz always remind me of like a woman Lou Reed wrote a song about. like this is a little too nice

she's a little too she's a brass there was something even the look was very like greaser looking you know what I'll tell you dude if we're talking 04 if you got a dude who was a legitimate like middle aged guy you probably could have gotten away with like Annie Potts playing her

and there's your brassiness that's closer that's what I'm thinking yeah yep yeah in the comic she's basically in the comic she's basically Patty and Orselma from the Simpson she is just an Serbic, smoky voice character, who has zero time for John. And she's right to be annoyed that a guy who's only contacts with a woman is someone who is doing a job for him, like being his vet.

And so he's constantly taking advantage of her goodwill that, but Jennifer Love Hewitt, I think I would like to see her try to play in a Serbic person, like given anything to do. I'm not saying it's who she would be, should be cast in the role. But she literally is like the most agreeable, like, angel that ever existed. Like, her job is to fall in love. And she seems to just be walking around the vet office all day going like, when will a man want to date me? She's an in-celled dream girl.

She literally goes up to John later in the movie. And she's like, oh, you know, I love when you stammer all over yourself. It's so adorable. And then she even says, like, you weren't like those other jerks in high school. I'm like, dude, give it up. It's been 20 years. Everyone needs to give it up. Yeah, I think even later, she's like, I'm asking you out.

She has to like literally kiss him in the car. Like, do you get it now? Do you get this, you fucking moron? It is incredible. Like, he says at one point, like, oh, do you want to like maybe come over for dinner? Do you want to come in and hang out or something, I think? And she's like, oh, no, I can. He's like, all right, fine.

Yeah. Fine, fine, fine. And then she's like, no, I just meant today. You want to hang out Sunday? Jesus fucking Christ. Total in-cell behavior. And this is the most beautiful woman in town, like by far. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. No doubt about it. Well, Garfield is getting pampered. There is like a Garfield Elvis moment because I don't know. That eats up 80 seconds. This is like spa day kind of shit because that's the thing is like he keeps taking this cat the vet to see this woman. So, like, he's paying all these fucking visitation fees.

Man, I mean, this is some psychotic shit. Dude, you can't walk out of a vet's office without, without dropping three bills. It's just, it's just not possible in America. Referencing the GoFundMe thing before. Like, maybe that's his job. He's just a scammer, you know? That'd be great. Just always getting in people, social media replies like with just photos of Garfield saying, my cat is sick. Exactly. He's on more interesting. Oh, my God. He's on like MySpace begging for money. no not not to again just be the garfield wouldn't do that guy but like garfield hates the vet if he keeps going like well i guess i'll go to the vet and be pamper like no garfield always

because it's that's the more obvious joke jim davis always did of just like well yeah it's a pet it hates going to the vet that's the joke yeah totally that's true to life and yeah i mean you know he's going there and get like his nails trimmed his hair did and all this shit i think this cat needs a fucking blood exam because the salt comes content and this thing's body. He's got to be going through the route. And again, like, if you want to bring this into reality, Garfield has to have legitimate health concerns in this movie.

Yeah, I agree. And I think, now, is, is Tobo introduced on TV here or at home? It's right before they go to the vet. Right before we meet Tobo. This is, there's two important things that happen here. A is the introduction of Tobo as both happy and Walter Chapman.

I think that's right. His brother that's a news reporter. Yeah, a very important. And he is a, a cat and dog, uh, a kibble person. I, I never get what he's one of those. It's one of those like, you know, local news segment things you'll see where it's like, here's our fucking animal guy. And it's sponsored by kibbley cat, cat food. It's like I saw stupid petricks on Letterman. Can I turn this into a job? Now, and hey, look, I, you know, it was bad already. But when he does the, he does the, he,

He sees the persnickety cat. A voice by Alan coming. By oncoming and says, literally looks at the camera after he does this. That cat is on t-shirts, on mugs. That cat is everywhere. Pan. Hello. Yeah.

I love seeing him. He's the only guy who live at, no, the only actor in this who's like having a good time. He gets to have fun because he gets to be a Disney TV movie actor. I'm just like just big, stupid reactions. And I, I couldn't resist looking up trying to find one interview with him about this movie. And, and yeah, basically he did say that like Tom Lennon for Reno 9-1 dropped out at the last second. And he got hired on like two days notice without even reading the script. Oh, David.

I was just being this Garfield. I was drunk and then all of a sudden, Tom Lennon called me like, you got to do Garfield. And they just said like, okay, don't even read the lines. Let's put the wig on you to see how you look as the other as his successful brother. Okay, that's great. Two months. Let's do this right now. Incredible.

But you know what? Like, Tobo is the kind of fucking film and TV workhorse where it's like, oh, two days. That's not a problem. Like, he fucking nailed it with like clearly no time for preparation. And dude, Tobo in this wig as the twin is fucking hilarious. It's kind of the funniest part of the movie. They let his character down so many times because they set up all the stuff that doesn't play out later. Like, they set up that he's allergic to cats.

That's something that's going to happen, right? They set up that he hates lasagna. And I'm like, oh, at the end of the movie, he's going to get dumped with a whole bunch of lasagna. Sure. It's the Garfield movie. And none of those things happen. It would be great if like he looks to the sky at the end of the movie and it's like fucking peck. from Ghostbusters when he gets douched

with the marshmallow. And it's, oh, no, it's a whole tank of lasagna. That seems like it would fit the source material better than him getting his own battle royale collar apply. It was 2004, and we were shocking nuts crazy as a country. We were. I believe historians

look back on that and they call it the jackass effect, Steve. Now, kids at home, if you're younger, I mean, everyone back then would get their nuts shocked all the time. I would think So Bolowski doesn't agree to this if he has to have a bunch of red liquid dumped on him with the other movie. He's like, you know what I'm not doing this. I saw what happened to Paul Giamati in that big fat liar. That guy's been blue for two years. I'm not getting sauce dumped on me. And like a year after this, he's in Deadwood. Like that's the, dude,

the story of that guy's life, man. Just like one shit property, one minute, an amazing thing the next And that's why I'm not going to give Jennifer Love Hewitt shit. Like you know what? These people just work and you're just going through life working dude. It's totally fine. Well then you know what? Steve you're never going to be the host of the Daily show. What do you think about that? I don't think so.

Seems like a cursed chair at this point. Just one man's opinion. But yeah, we set up that like he he's allergic. He's got this twin brother that is really successful. We are, this is before the Fox Movie Corporation got eaten up by Disney. So like it's really

a lot of Fox synergy in this movie like he's gonna be on Good Day New York which is the local New York it's the Fox affiliate like real show which is weird Greg Kelly hosted and I think I think Greg Kelly was me be hosting it no four

maybe a little bit before his time I don't know that's true maybe but for guy's a monster for Bob and Henry he's the son of the former police chief of New York City and now is on what is he a Newsmax asshole or a O-A-N-A-N-A-N-A- one of those one of those is because of all the the rape allegations he ended yeah he was uh too shitty for fox news if you can even believe it yeah not even losano scotto would talk to him now that's right

i guess we're lucky he's not in this movie then for like yeah exactly uh so yeah the whole thing here uh at the vet is man and this is fucking embarrassing for this guy like he goes in like jennifer love you it's like hey can i talk to you in private for a second which is like I don't know, you can't say this in front of the cat, whatever. But she's like, I have something I want to ask you. And he's like, I think I know where you're going. And I'm like, you definitely don't, dude. And she's like, would you adopt this dog?

Because he's not going to make it on the inside weird way to put this. And I mean, this is the most adorable dog that I've ever seen. This dog is going to get adopted like 13 seconds. Give you a fucking break. Absolutely, dude. It looks like Doc Brown's a pre. previous dog that you see in 195, Copernicus. Yes.

Maybe if you didn't get adopted, the gas chambers pretty quick. I just wanted to see, just put a black dot on his side. That's it. Like, it doesn't have to be the same breed as Odie, but like, it's just a black dot. Just give a shit about the character design like at all.

Or he should be the other one that's also a cartoon. Like, you know what I mean? Maybe not that sounds too expensive. Yeah. I mean, I didn't know this was the ODI Begin story. But also, I mean, it's weird how they play by the rules because for some reason they choose to play by the rule that Odie can talk. But whenever the other animal can talk, I'm thinking, is Odie intellectually disabled? It's extra cruel when Garfield is kicking them in that case.

You're totally right, Bob. That's a great point. And, like, yeah, again, you're either true to the comic or you're not because you're making a live action movie of sorts. Like, Odie should be somebody. Maybe Seth Green, they were buds. Like that, you know, him and Breck and Meyer get, get Seth in to do a voice in my movie. Why not? Yeah. I mean, I, I just don't think they care really. I mean, they put some effort into the John Arbuckle and Liz stuff. But like, I just do not. I blank out every time it starts. Like, dude, she asks him out. That stuff, because the romance is just nothing. Like, it's just like she, as, as Henry said, like, she's just agreeing to everything.

No. Oh, you were in love with me forever? Yes. Okay. Then I was in love with you ever. here's the thing. So I'm a dog person over cats because I'm heinously allergic to cats. So I've always been a dog person my whole life. You're happy chapman. Yeah, I'm going to I want to douse you with lasagna. It's so. There we are you. Which I also love. So I'd be loved to cover it in that shit. But when she is like, oh, we should totally go on a date sometime. We could go to a dog show. Absolutely

not. What are you kidding me? That is no place for a first date. That's like, we've been married for six years and this is what it's come to. Go into a dog show. You don't bring an animal to a dog show. That's a terrible fucking idea. Absolutely not. And also, she doesn't even mention, oh, by the way, I'm a judge at this thing. Yeah, it's weird not to mention that. But Garfield is a stowaway in this moment, right? He is. Oh, when we go there, yeah. I did jump the gun a little bit. It's fine. I mean, all that happens is, though, he goes home and, you know, he, he fucks with him. The only thing that does happen, is whilst, um, fooling around at the house, we find out that Odie likes to dance to this song.

second. And when you see Garfield in the strip and in the cartoon, he is just catatonic in front of the TV. Garfield does not have little dance parties for himself. No. Yeah. And you know what? I think this was like, well, listen, we got to have something

for this trailer to get people excited. Because them dancing was all over the trailer. I was working at the old multiplex, the storied Latham Circle Mall 10 multiplex back in the day when this movie came out. And this is I say I've kind of, until today when I watched it in its entirety, I'd kind of seen this movie

because I had to watch it from a projection booth porthole window because like something funky was going on with the film print. I had to keep my eye on it, but keep an eye on the picture too to make sure that it looked okay. Anyway, but in the lead up to this film's release, like this trailer was just on everything. And so I saw it so many times. And like watching it today, I was like, oh, them dancing. is like, at least as I remember it, like 60% of that trailer. Yes. I'm sure market research told them, like, if kids see a dancing, uh, CG animal, that's, you make $75 million right there. Like, that's it just guaranteed. I,

I mean, though the way Garfield dances, like, he shakes his ass. So like, it's basically twerking. Yeah, he spins it around. Like, yeah. It's very welcoming presenting. And then Bill Murray just has to go like, uh-huh, that's right. Oh, I know you're not doing that. Okay. Like, I'm surprised there was no, Bill Garfield, it's your birthday. Where was that? That's a failure on the rewrite room. Not pitching that. Yeah, you're totally right.

At any point in the negotiators, well, Bill, we'd love to have you on set with a mocap suit to really just, so that everybody feels like, and he's like absolutely not. Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah, I'm not doing that. By the way, I'm going to re-record all of my lines from a boat off the coast of Italy while filming Steve Zisu. So you got me for how long you got me and I'm not getting in the suit.

Don't worry about it. I love that story so much. Just imagining like they're going, they're sifting through these fucking takes and you just hear Angelica Houston's background. What are you doing? Are you fucking serious, Bill? Get the fuck get back to set. Jesus is fucking Christ.

Not to mention the dingy noise and the seagulls in the background. Dude, you got Defoe opens the door. He's like, hey Bill, we're getting some white. Oh, he's doing the Garfield lines. Excuse me. Wait, wait. What is that?

What? Is that Sue George? Is that Sue George singing in the background? Dude, are we hearing Bowie covers in Portuguese? Bill, what the fuck's going on over there? Oh, wow. You know, I was more of a Marmaduke fan myself. I got to see myself out.

The only thing that makes us this role seem presentable or this performance seem presentable is the fact that Eric Roberts did a much worse job in a talking cat. That is clearly, I, emailed you my iPhone audio files and I'm not talking to you anymore. Eric Roberts famously has never been allowed on a boat. That's for sure. Yeah, actually even just bringing a marmaduke or

also like Beverly Hills Chihuahua like there are low there are much lower lows than Garfield sadly in talking animal world. I hate to say like that Garfield being a full CGI creature it I instead of just every

character having a mouth pasted on it I guess things could be worse than this girl. Well we covered what the fuck was that the movie dogs and cats where they're like spy agencies fighting each other that's abysmal that's bottom of the barrel shit and speaking of fucking Wes Anderson movies

Jeff Goldblum's all over that movie that's humiliating. I think unfortunately we're experiencing a renaissance of these movies made for the kids who grew up with this because there's that new movie coming out the summer I think it's called strays it's like the dirty talking animal movie. Yep. Totally. Totally. It's like you're going to see

Jamie Fox voice a little Boston terror that says fuck all the time. They better go all the way with that. I want to see these dogs eating feces and other stuff that dogs do, you know? Well, they totally rip a thing from the Olivia Wilde directed film

Book Smart where in that movie the Caitlin Dever and Beanie Feldstein smoke weed and like at one point they turned into like stop motion characters and shit and in that strays in the preview, the dogs are all like out in the forest and they eat like psilocybin mushrooms. And it's like, now we're animated. Now there's a dog that looks like a sock

pop. Isn't that funny? Because that's what happens to you on mushrooms. No, it doesn't. They're given away too much. If they're given that away in the trailer, then what they must be saving is pure gold. But so like, Odie gets to this competition and something, something Garfield has stowed away. We do get a gag of Garfield they stop short and Garfield smushes against the window. Yep. Which is giving you your gag of he's doing

the sticky guy. You know what's crazy about that dude? Like it's so stupid and you need to have a thing where like maybe it's JLH and she's like, you know really into like looking at Breck & Meyer or something like that or they're talking about something and it's like

uh oh stop signer, uh oh red light and she's got a jam on the brakes. But what this movie shows you is The light has just turned yellow And for no reason she jams on the brakes If only to make the cartoon cat do the suction cup gag It's so fucking lazy These are warning signs for John

These are clear warning signs She's not the perfect angel you think to use I will say this movie This movie does surprisingly Especially in the age of post-track It's surprising how squeaky clean it is Like aside from that one suicide joke there's no like oh my litter box or uh oh what's that between your legs odie or what you know what you

know what you know what we love to do that at this time i think well i i was thinking too of the sonic movie um the first one and like in this movie the closest thing to like garfield farts is he's in the he's in the air vents and there's a sound that sounds like you fart and he goes like oh is that me meanwhile in the first sonic movie sonic just audibly farts multiple times and a character even says like, hey, you should check if some of that blue fur is brown and now. I'm like, Jesus Christ. Exactly. That's, you know, I got

to say, I was surprised how much I liked that first Sonic movie. I didn't love it, but I just kind of assumed it was going to be garbage, but I had a good time with it. But the second movie, which I also saw, it makes the right move of like, oh, they're here for these cartoon characters. And like,

the live action actors in that movie like fade into the background. And you have like, minutes on end where all it is is like live action like environments and sets and stuff but it's just all of these little computer sonic characters

talking to each other. This is what it should have been like just more of like and this is maybe he meets the fucking barnyard animals and it's like all CGI things. I got to find Odie and like Breckenmeyer and Jennifer Love are like nowhere to be found or just do a cartoon

or that yeah. I mean that's the thing I'm fine with you pumping the IP on this one. Bring in all the fucking U.S. Acre things. Sheldon, bring Sheldon in for sure. Oh, yeah. That would be disturbing to look at photo realize. Also, bring back the Arbuckle family

from the Christmas special and the Thanksgiving Oh, please. Bring them back. Bring them back. Well, unless you want Lars von Trier to direct it, you can't bring back the Arbuckle family. Don't ask me that question. I do want him to. What were they dirty people? What are they?

No, it was just the most depressing thing I've ever seen. Vividly weeping in the second grade because it's fucking grandma Arbuckle talking to this cat about how it's the first Christmas without grandpa and well I'm probably not long for this world either. It's fucking devastating. It's the end of dinosaurs. It's the end of dinosaurs as a cartoon special. Boy, it's getting cold out there, Earl Sinclair. the funny thing about

the uh bringing the the odie to the dog show it is kind of John Arbuckle showing him how the other half lit like the better half lives like he's just like you're never going to be like this Odie you're a piece of shit that I had to adopt and I'm going to bring you home to be fucking

like be just dragged and fucking pushed and fucking yelled at all the time by this fat CGI thing not only that Chris stuffed with Italian food this dog's going to die just like Garfield would have already died

You know and I could see like Okay you're going to go out on a date with this girl And she's like I also have a dog Let's take our dogs to the dog park That's something This is like This dude just brings his own dog

On this date to a dog show That he's not informed in advance His lady friend is a judge in And the whole thing just stinks to high heaven The dog he just received So it's not you know He's not trained at all Of course it runs off

often does all this shenanigans. It hasn't bonded with you whatsoever. All you're doing is setting up for Stephen Tobolowski to get big heart eyes over over fucking Odie when he does the little dance on the floor. Well, that's what happens

here too. So like all these dogs that are about to start the dog show competition see Garfield in the stands or whatever and they go crazy and start chasing him or whatever. And like and I think so Steve this is the second time your favorite song. Hey, Mama. because like

Tobo for whatever or the other guy who's the judge of this thing is like hey DJ why did you get your head out of your ass and provide a distraction

for this crowd and like he just starts pumping black eyed peas at this dog show hey sure and then he the OD just starts hopping around on his height legs

which like again if this impresses everybody Garfield doing fully choreographed dances would blow their fucking mind exactly totally like that's who Tobo should be chasing after. The cat that knows about shaking his own ass.

It'll be great if everybody saw the Garfield. He starts to jazz like, what the fuck is that? He's like, oh, no, it's my cat. That's not a cat. What is it? What did you do to his eyes? No, his elbows shouldn't bend that way. How does he do that?

He's three feet tall and three feet wide. That's not a fucking cat. Also, when I noticed this movie, like, the set design is like so bland and nothing. Like when they go to a train station, it just says train station, there's no details. That's how you know when product placement is on screen because something stands out at all of like, oh, they work with Petco on this and there's the IM's brand cat food. And I mean, Wendy's is the biggest one. Pepsi's in there.

Oh, the goldfish crackers? Yeah. Flavor explosion goldfish or whatever that shit. was, like, one of the biggest scams of all time. That's just, like, we put more flavor salt on these goldfish crackers. But slightly more salt than usual. That's all. Yeah, exactly.

The Wendy's and Pepsi is so bad. John Arbuckle later, like, showing, like, he's kind of sad or something. He's just playing with his train set because he's that guy. Yep. And it's a branded train set with, like, signs from Wendy's and Pepsi in the train set. Oh, is it? Dude, I didn't notice that. It's sad, dude.

That just hurts. I mean, the only thing that I almost believe that the thing he's eating in the more, what a trash bag of hash or whatever the fucking. I forget what it. Trash hash. Yeah. It's just a big bucket of hash. Like, I was almost like, is that real? Because everything is, like, everything is branded. You should check out at the grocery store later. See if a hash bucket is there. You know, I've, I've sunk pretty low in my life, but buying canned corned beef hash. I'm not quite there. You know, yet. I'll get it in a diner because I do love it but bringing it home. No, no, no, no, no, no. Probably not great. So Garfield, to escape these dogs that are chasing him, jumps up a large woman's skirt

and is calling her pinky the whole time and I feel that's so like some people in the audience can mishear that as piggy because there is, we are laughing that this is a big woman. Like this is supposed to be funny. I'm having fun with it. She's horrified by

this. It goes right up her crotch and we don't know where he is for a while and there's commotion in this gargantuan dress of course, right? It's very strange and of course she just falls over because that's additionally hilarious and he has the line, thanks for the ride.

Really surprised her hair was not in curlers. Holding a rolling pin. She had a face mask on. She should have a big cartoon bowl on her cheek too. She's from Renan Stimpy is what we're saying. You know, when Dean Cundee is shooting this with this woman with the fake thing under her, I do wonder to like, is he, he remembering when he filmed stuff like this on Roger Rabbit and the weeks of

prep for that scene in the movie. They probably hired Dean Cundee with two days notice too. Him and Tobo got hired the same day. And it was yet another bomb displacing robot that was placed up this woman's trash. Oh, and two, talk about cheap. When they, when the dogs are all chasing after Garfield, like, he's under the carpet just so it's like, well, we don't want to animate him too much running around. Yeah, totally. And that's like the little bump under this whatever for the dog show is way larger than they tell you

the cat is for the rest of this movie. I think it's just like they got a little fucking 12 year old kid under there running right. Might be it. Anthony Cundee under there, man. Bring her son to work day. Tony Cundee, absolutely. this leads to so of course tobo is like i want odie this will be great for my pet show your dog could have a career in television and here's your car i'm not interested mister i just want a boring dog and breck and mire takes his card goes home this sadly leads to a rendition of billy joel uh a new york state of mind

in the key of a new dog state of mind in which I almost ripped my ears off. Garfield accidentally destroys John's house. He gets back something, something. He knocks something over. He gets back. This is the Max Katie thing right here. He doesn't let, they never find out that Garfield went to the dog show. So he's fucking hiding

under Jennifer Love Hewitt's pickup truck. And of course, John's house is like a Rube Goldberg machine of, if you're not something, everything comes loose. Yep. Totally. There's a weird, oh, right here also, like when John comes in and sees the destruction, they make this cartoon cat do a, like,

Cheshire cat smile. Un settling is all get out. You see this thing's fucking human, Sonic the hedgehog teeth. Oh my God. And now he's in exile. No, I like, I also like when Odie wins the contest, like, Tobelowski's character just goes like, and he's the winner. And now,

I think the judge, the guy who was hosting he was like, well, this was a weird one, but I guess this is the winner of the dog show. All right. I have no papers on this animal. Here you go. Here's a trophy. I did notice some things that felt like bad executions of jokes that could have been funny. Like when Odie leaves the house, Garfield tricks him out of the house, and then he chases a Vespa and then another truck and then a bigger truck.

And I feel like, oh, the joke is that he's chasing a succession of bigger vehicles, but the pacing is so slow, you really can't connect those ideas. Nope. Yeah, you totally don't get it at all. If it was a Sunday comic strip, it'd work fine. Right. Yeah. And this is set to Chris's new dog state of mind thing. Now, here's the thing. I know, I know. Bill likes to sing, Andrew. Bill likes to sing. I know he does, Steve. I know he does. But, and I know this is, you know, not for everybody.

But I fucking love Billy Joel. And hearing this. fucking new dog state of it's just it's dog shit i'm saying it's not fucking funny it's not for kids like you got you got fucking black eyed peas and the baha men through all this shit i'm sorry like pick something else that's closer to that and have him sing it and make it a dog parody hire weird al if you have to get a dog parody of some song but this new dog state of mine garbage this was the part that felt the most like jim davis's involvement to me because it's it's it's the choices that would be made by a guy who stopped paying attention to culture

in like 1984. Oh, you remember how funny it was when Bill Murray would sing the songs on Saturday Night Live? Let's do that. But with the hit song, all kids in 2004, no, New York State of Mine.

Well, you know, it's 2004. Well, that's a thing. That's a thing, Kevin, right? It's 2004. Fox is still doing their thing, still owning Star Wars. Yeah. Have him just do,

like Brecken Myers, maybe home this is would not be out of character certainly he's watching star wars alone in his house with his animals and no girlfriend absolutely like and have him just go out star wars that totally fine but in that situation would not lorn michael's rip through your door and come and kill you with a hammer hey bill saw the rough cut of garfield that's right i watch all the movies all my former minions do and not gonna fly with the Star Wars

joke buddy may I suggest I just saw him at the garden a Billy Joel parody he is the franchise you understand Broadway video would have to get at least a production credit those fucking bums

also I have to say like the way that they say the way Garfield says like I'm gonna blow cat chunks I was like That's not a joke. That doesn't count. And also he's like, oh, John doesn't even let me sleep in the bed. It's like, yeah, because you have your own fucking bed, Garfield. Yeah, what do you need a bed for?

Yeah. I feel like they realize at this point the audience is full of stepdad. And they need to wake up because they got to take their kids home. If they're asleep when the movie ends, the kids are going to wander off. It's going to be a problem. So for the rest of the movie, Jennifer Luff Hewitt is just jammed into these mini dresses. The excuse is like, I thought we were going on a date. she's got to run around in like these very skimpy tight dresses.

I mean, and that's what her body looks like and that's fine. But I feel like there is some male gaze going on here in the Garfield movie. What are we waiting for Garfield? I'm right here. Yeah, totally. It's just a shame. It never rains in this movie.

We balance it out. The sexiness. We balance it up because now she's wearing a cross for the rest of the movie. Oh, she's just a Christian out of nowhere. She's a good girl who's not going to give it up to John. Arbuckle on the first day. The idea of anyone giving it up to John Arbuckle, I mean

terrible. Oh my God. Literature's greatest loser is John Arbuckle. All of literature, I think. Yeah. No one would let him hit. You're totally right. Poor guy. Yeah, so, you know, and this is devastating because this

piece of shit, selfish cat that locks this dog out of the house and the poor thing runs away and it's just like sleeping on these cold stone steps. It's like, are you trying to get me to hate the character of Garfield? Because you're doing a great job. Again, because if this was a blobby yellow Jim Davis looking Oda, you'd be like, oh, that's a fine little thing. This is, again, an adorable terrier that is, like, in trouble.

And like this cartoon monster did this to him. We cut to Tobo, who's getting a suit tailored here. and he's got some little worm assistant that shows him like, oh, there's a dog found sign because Odie has picked up the night before by a kindly old woman who actually kind of looks like the live action version of Grandma Arbuckle.

Yeah, a little bit. A little bit, yeah. But so this lady takes him in and puts these signs out. So Tobo's like, my stars, Odie's available. Let's go get him. I do like how his wormy assistant says,

like, oh, you know, ever since the divorce, I know you've been lonely and I've been trying to like, You know, I chuckle of that, but, but I do hate that, like, nobody in this movie is anybody except for the three star, live action stars. Like, I just thought like, you guys couldn't even just get like Ethan Supply or whatever to be somebody in background. Just like middle level, like sea listers. Like there, we get some sea listers in the voice casting because we, we went, we talked over, uh, Nick Cannon as this mouse. Oh, Lewis the mouse. Yeah.

this Jonesing mouse who needs a macadabian nut cookie to maintain I need to ask this because I haven't I haven't watched while now or any of the Nick Cannon stuff is he always doing a Chris Rock impression or is that

specifically for this this is this his direction seems pretty clear what they wanted out of Nick Cannon we couldn't afford Tony Danza from Crash shows up and starts directing him How do we know this mouse is from the streets, huh?

How do we know? I do love that Nick Cannon is playing Lewis the mouse in this movie because ironically, he fucks and breeds just like mice do. That's true. So that's kind of an interesting little thing. But no, the Nick Cannon thing, I mean, that also is very, it's the very obvious choice you make. Same with like Debra Messing playing Arlene, the cat, who her job is just to be. be like, hey Garfield or Garfield, why'd you do that? And it's like Arlene, like an established

character from the comics or like his like I guess kind of love interest or whatever. Like, do they even say like, I think there's maybe one line where he's like, oh, hey Arlene. Like it's never it. It's a blink and you miss it that that this might be a canon character of some kind. I needed IMDB to tell me that was Arlene. Yes. I mean, yeah. Maybe it's because the second I knew that who normal was in this movie. I was just seeing red from that point on, this disservice to the normal character. Henry,

Henry was hearing the kill bill noise for about an hour of this movie. Well, also, Arlene, in this movie, you don't see her putting on, like, red lipstick on her lips. Right. A diva from the fucking 40s. Yep, totally. And then, like, we didn't

mention him, but, like, the neighborhood sort of bully dog or whatever, this Big Doberman thing, is Luca voiced by Brad Garrett, which he kind of comes to nothing. They all come to nothing. It's amazing. The Brad Garrett can appear in every movie doing one voice and he's probably getting paid like, you know,

75 grand for each movies. Oh, absolutely. I mean, because you just, you got that voice. That can be all sorts of voice work, Raymond. Sure. You got Jimmy Kimmel here as a character named Spanky. I don't know if that's ever mentioned. I think he's the bulldog in the vet or no in the prison when he goes like you're telling me right Garfield is that's the only other character I can think is him.

Who else could Spanky be in this? Apparently they never say the word spanky as an uncredited performance by Spanky I suppose. Oh, thanks for Jimmy Kimmel. Thank you for that. That was a great little nugget. But all the way back to your point, Henry, like have Jimmy Kimmel be Tobo's assistant. Have Jimmy Kimmel be, you know, I don't. know like the the the the animal control guy you know what i mean have him be that dude i thought i thought that guy was somebody and i think like in the first shot of him in the movie like the light just hit him the wrong way like i thought it was like doug stanhope or something or that guy should be or sean hayes yeah i mean it's 2004 where is dj qualls yeah that's a great question yep in general it needs to be a gay actor who's though not obviously gay uh the character can't be gay because this is a 2004 kids movie. But I have

now I've been noticing that in Marvel movies too now. They cast gay, funny actors I like to just be like a tan line assistant to the villain. Like that that's in Guardians 3, the actor from Superstore who I really like who, yeah. Oh yeah.

Which character in Guardians 3? Because I'm unfamiliar with Superstore. Oh, well, he's the side, he's the heavier set, sidekick to the high evolutionary. Yeah. Okay. got it got it got it um so liz shows up for their sunday dinner date and um john arbuckle shit in his pants because his dog's gone like i totally get it but like fuck you john arbuckle because if your lady friend shows up and you're not immediately like date canceled my dog has gone missing like he's really weighing like oh fuck oh fuck do i go out with her do i go out what do i do she just gave you the dog she would understand she would get it she's a veterinarian well she's wearing a dress for the fuck me store so he's like well i don't know what to do here this is a very difficult situation for me unlimited and i like that there's tension for like two seconds because he's like do i lie do i not he lies and then like a minute

later he says i can't lie to you actually he's lost and like tension over like it's all she's immediately supportive yeah she's just like let's go find him. And also not for nothing. What a great story to tell your grandchildren. Yeah, totally. You know what I mean? Like our first date, me and me and Pee Paw had to go out looking for his long dead

dog, you know? Oh, Pee Pah, he was so romantic. He lied to me and then he said he couldn't lie to me. I always remember that when I think back. And I spent my gift card at the fuck me unlimited to

get really sexy for my date. That's right grandkids. Meemaw had some delicious hooters back in the day, you see. Delicious. I almost said something way worse. Way worse. That's shocking.

She's a very beautiful woman. I mean, on Jennifer Love at Brawatch, this is like I love Hugh at Brawatch. This is a much more restrained compared to her, you know, I know what you did last. Oh, yeah. Or just it's kind of funny because I was thinking like has she ever played because we're talking

about Liz needs to be like a little more salty you know has she ever played kind of more salty I believe just three years prior to this is this right cabin 2001 she's in heartbreakers with sigourney weaver and jean hackman and like she's kind of playing like a salty like crooked kind of con artist character in that movie so pretty good movie yeah not too bad that's her high water mark I think acting wise I think she's really really good thing simpson's connection there it's directed by David Merkin, the showrunner of seasons five and six. How did he fucking wind up directing that movie?

It was that and Romney and Michelle, the two movies he directed. Oh, both good movies. Nice track record. And then after Heartbreakers, he's kind of in movie jail after that and doesn't really direct much after. Yeah. That's too bad. Just an all-time or Gene Hackman performance in that. Just a beautiful work. It's fucking

great. And Romeo and Michelle, great movie. So great. Yeah. So they're looking of the, it's important to say that the, uh, the, the conclave of like shitty non-animal characters all turn on Garfield because they're like it's kind of like the toy story

the plot of the original toy story like you shoved you shoved buzz out the window kind of a thing it's like you let Odie out so you know you you did that maliciously Garfield we all hate you so Garfield has to go on his own and leave the cul-de-sac which he famously says three or four times in this goddamn movie he doesn't want to do

to find Odie and he through he does see Odie on TV He tries to get John to see that That doesn't work so well we talked about it But now he's on his way to the TV station To confront Stephen Tobelask And this is a weird

Like he looks at the back of a cat food box Sure That John Arbuckle keeps right next to all his cereal Dude you're playing with fire My Cheerios tastes like lamb today I think that this guy secretly likes eating cat food And keeps us to pretending

that he doesn't, like, oh, no, I accidentally ate cat food again. And Garfield, I need to turn around to check something. I had a friend growing up who straight up would just eat dog biscuits. Well, really? Oh, yeah. He'd come over to the house. We had a big, my parents had this big ass, like, plastic container with a screw top on it. And my dad would, like, go to BJs or whatever and get the big bag or he'd dump all the

treat bones in it. This motherfucker would come over to play Nintendo. and he'd like just be in the kitchen, he'd take one and just eat it. It was disgusting. Was it a milk bone? Are we talking here? Not milkbone brand,

but like little tiny, you know, maybe like three, four inches long kind of cookie cracker kind of shaped things. I mean, that is the negative effects of too many kids

watching Turner and Hooch when they're young. It's true. Tom Hanks do that shit. I think that is just it poisons their brain. Is this one of these things that started as a dare

and then just became normal for the guy? It's entirely possible, Henry, but I wasn't there for that part. I was just there for one day this dude in my childhood kitchen was like unscrewed the top, ate one, and put the top back on as if like nothing was weird about it. And I was like, dude, you know that it's dog treat, right? And he's like, yeah, it wasn't one of my more favorite flavors that they have in this assortment. And I was like, you've done this before.

It's just treats to me. It's all just treats to me. Maybe he's on to something. It gives you the strength of a dog, you know? the clean teeth too that's how he brushed his teeth Garfield winds up and this is a guy that needs to be in this movie

in an alleyway and a bunch of rats come out to get Garfield played by Richard Carn who just needs to be anywhere in this movie Richard Kind or sorry Richard Kind Richard Kind and Richard Card they should both be most of business

Yes yep you're right But Richard Kind is like this like father rat Deborah Joe Rupp another person. Also, both stars of Prime Ape. Oh, my God, you're right. They're both in Spymate, dude. Spymate. Sorry, that's right. Oh. But

they're like, Mama and Papa, rat. And, like, there's a gag there. And then, like, Nick Cannon comes out and saves Garfield. I feel like having a Jewish guy and a black man play the rat. And Berman. Sorry. Bob said that to me

before I'm stealing his joke. Are you stealing my joke or blaming me? Oh, yeah. Sorry. yeah no you're totally right it is not a great decision uh i guess maybe that's why debor joe rup is there and it's sort of midwested up a little bit i don't know try to even the ship a little bit jesus but if you can't get richard kine live action in your movie like you're cheap like that is too cheap a movie like he he can't cost that much and like no i would say he's probably like a scotch cheaper than tobo i mean i'm glad tobo's in this movie but maybe richard kine

is the number two. Or even like the animal control guy. Let's flesh this fucking out. You're totally right. And there's two animal control people, Eric, featured. So it could be Richard Kind and Deborah Drew Rupp as like bumbling animal control people. That would be something. Is this really a cat?

What is it? It's a big orange blob of something. The eyes are bigger than my fist. This thing is disgusting. Oh, my God. Escape from a lab or something. He ate my lunch. Why?

I put it down to me. Well, we're putting it down immediately. There's a, we sort of skipped over it, but Garfield learning that Odie is at this TV station is because Tobos got him on the show. Yes. Dressed up and later hos in. Odie Schnitzel. Yes, he's calling him Odie Schnitzel and the little dog's doing a dance or whatever. And there's a weird line here, man.

Odie's watching or Garfield's watching Odie on the television. He's wearing later hos and he's dancing around. Garfield just goes, he sure did find an alternative lifestyle. I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about you? 2004, you need at least one gay joke. Jesus Christ almighty. And it's like, I don't, why? What is the connection there?

Later, Hosen, I guess. Fuck you, that's lazy. I mean, that's so dumb. Traditional German underpants or like clothes, like that doesn't look gay. I don't understand the, that, yeah, I mean, it's also like, it's a mean gay jokes that also is kind of from nowhere. Yeah, just totally left field. Yeah. And it's also in this scene that we learn Tobo is, because again,

I gotta be on Good Day New York with my stupid pet tricks. He is for whatever reason taking like a cross country train to New York City. Like could we not afford filming at a fake airport somewhere? There's a big trade disaster at the end of this movie that wouldn't make sense of the sky, I guess is the idea. Yeah, that's true. That's true. causing chaos at an airport

after 9-11 that you're right that's what caused it it was a cat at the switch just directing fucking FAA traffic there is one bit my favorite joke in the movie

is Stephen Tobelowski watching his brother who's like the high end like you know he's a whatever like a real reporter and is like this is whatever blah blah blah reporting live from the Hague

and it's just it's David Tobelowski in a wig saying he's reporting from the Hague what is it 2004 Are we talking about getting George W in there? It is funny to hear about the Hague in this children's movie. Yes. Yeah.

Totally weird. Because I'm sure there were zero people under the age of like 18 that understood that joke watching this movie. Yeah. All it did was give the grandpas who fucking took their grandkids to this. Oh, well, that was a nice movie. Wasn't it, Jimmy? Now, you probably didn't understand what the Hague is.

the Hague house is some of the most funniest human beings that have ever existed. Well, why don't you sit on my lap and we'll talk to you about Kosovo. Now, Junior, if you ever find yourself on trial for war crimes, you'll visit the Hague. And that's what that joke was in that Garfield movie. That explanation will end, of course, 10 years later. Because he's got to really lay down all the foundation. Oh, as I say, they also cheap out on Garfield traveling. because he's like, I don't believe the cul-de-sac.

Then he cut to, like, the highway is like, are we going to see Garfield walk on the highway? No, he just walks onto a bus. He's like, there, I'll just be in the city. I'm on a bus. Speaking of traveling, Henry, we were mentioning similarities with Toy Story, and it should be pointed out

that two of the writers on this movie were writers on Toy Story. There are like five writers on Toy Story. And then when Garfield and the mouse have to cross the street, there's CGI things underneath things crossing the street. That is just a ripped off scene from Toy Story, too. Whoa.

Oh, yeah. That is so right. Damn, we are fucking stealing left and right in this movie. The bus thing, I think, is them trying to just, because you got to throw in brands, right? So it's like, if he's just walking, we can't advertise nothing. What are we going to do? What are we going to do? So, like, yeah, we got to get a Greyhound in there. I don't know.

I'm surprised they didn't get a real estate company in the housing area. Well, it's like, and clearly, by the way, it's Greyhound over like Peter Pan bus lines. You know what I mean? When Odie chases that Vespa guy, I kept thinking like, that should be a Domino's. Like somebody in the marketing department failed to get the Domino's account.

Sleeping on that. Maybe it was like 04 and they were like, you know what? We are certain. Any day now there's going to be a new Ninja Turtles movie announced. Dominoes, you know, we got to hold out for that. Sorry, we can't be in the Garfield movie. Save the budget. Yeah. I mean,

and again, it's like, I will say that is very true to Garfield's spirit of selling out as hard as possible. Constant adds in it. Yes. Also, the other thing about the cul-de-sac, do we ever see that it's actually a cul-de-sac?

We don't. It just sort of looks like a street. Marry a cul-de-sac to be found. We need proof of sack. I want hard evidence of sack, dude. It's very hardy. It's a cul-de-sac in 1955 with a milkman delivering milk.

It's like a time portal they go through. Garfield breaks into the building after crossing the street with Lewis. Lewis tells him to look out for the po-po, the 5-0. That's okay. And to keep it on the down low. When Garfield's

told to keep it on the down low, he's like, how down low should we keep it? Just to make it clear, like Garfield doesn't understand this slang. He doesn't speak jive. Yeah, no. Absolutely. Absolutely not. That's why he's got to leave the cul-de-sac more often. But he's now in the building and this air vent, a lot of fun. Stunning. Stunning. Because again, it's another Fox property.

Stunning, we're not making a fucking die-hard joke right here. I could not believe it. That's true. It's right. Or aliens. Hippie-Catter. Or aliens. Yeah, totally. Yeah. When they also flush the system, I'm like, wait, you can't, you can't do that. Well, like, people know you can't do that with air conditioning. going back to the alien thing I feel like they were half committed but then they thought no one will get this so they only just barely made the reference but when you're tracking a dot going through ducks

there's nothing else people are going to think of except for the first alien movie you're right you're totally right yeah but they'll get our fucking Max Katie reference don't worry about that so yeah they flush this air it's like oh something's clogging the air vents let's flush it I guess

and Garfield goes flying around through these vents. His face smashes through the window like that dude in Friday the 13th part 6 in the fucking RV when Jason's I believe that dude, oh no, it's a lady actually because the dude is like, Becky, what are you

taking his shit or whatever? And like Jason slams this woman's face into the wall and you see like the outside of the RV and like her facial imprint comes out kind of nuts. I don't think that's a direct reference. It's what I thought of.

sure. This is where the suggestion of a fart joke happens. Oh, right. Yeah. And he does belch. That's like he says, and that's how you know, the tank is full. Like, it's another like real got milk kind of gag here. Yep, totally. I

almost threw up, so that's just enough lasagna for me for now. He should have said something like, like, oh, these delicious goldfish crackers really fill you up. If only they were flavor blasted. I'm going to need a Pepsi blue to chuck this all down. Oh, Lord, blue Pepsi. That was a time to live through, huh?

I think that might have been happening right around 2004. It was. He has a 12-pack of it. Oh, does he has a 12-pack of blue Pepsi? No, he's got a 12-pack of blue Pepsi. No way. I got no memory of Blue Pepsi. Jesus. Oh, dude, it was a time to be alive, dude. Get this. Get this, Eric. I was too young, by the way. That's what I was. It was, it was blue-colored Pepsi. right? And the kick was tasted just like Pepsi. Can you even believe it?

No. Also, speaking of the ad placement too, I forgot to mention at the judge's booth at the dog show, there's the Ace Hardware Girl mascot. It's just like, just a woman dresses like, I'm the Ace Hardware mascot. I'm here

too. I could use a hammer. Yeah. These, you know, these regional dog shows, you know, they take sponsorship wherever they can. And maybe that was part of the stipulation. Meanwhile, By the way, John and Liz are going through an incredibly unfunny series of events to catch them up to the movie. Like, they couldn't write a joke for these two characters to save their lives. They're like, they just find the woman.

They're like, oh, it's the woman who found the dog. You found Odie, right? She's like, no, I already gave it to Stephen Tobelowski. And I'm like, where's the joke? Like, there needs to be like something funny happens or a turn of phrase or maybe something calls down. Or it's like a thing where, you know, like John Arbuckles like. Oh, geez. Well, okay. But then like, you know, Liz

gets in this lady's face. You gave my friend's dog away to the wrong person, you idiot. It's just... Or the old lady could be mean. Some character could cause conflict in the scene. Yeah. She just gently closes the door and they're like, well, on to the

next scene, I guess. Maybe the dog and cat will be in that one. They're politely caught up to the rest of the movie pretty much. Scene after scene. Garfield, it finds Odie. Sure. In with the collar. And he doesn't get, they don't get out of the, Tobo gets there before he can get

out of the room. Yes. But like, he knows he's there. So then we head to the finale on the train, which like, how do Breck and Meyer, Jennifer Love, Hewitt, figure that part out? Because Garfield's giant paw print in the dust in the room makes him say, oh, Garfield was here. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's no other cat's paw print that was

no other animal could make this, this thing. Garfield was here. This is asking themselves, how the fuck was Garfield here? How did my house cat get eight miles into town? Yeah. And it also wants you to connect the three seconds we see of John's train set to the train station. Oh, right. It's asking us to make the connection because Garfield later will say like, oh, like John's train set at home.

And then you have to remember, oh, it was a very minor part of a train set. one of the four montages in this movie. Oh, yeah. John Arbuckle loves model trains. I remember the six seconds of that earlier in the movie, of course. Oh, you know what? That's a callback. It's good now. Yeah, it's a callback. So it's good. They figured it out. They completed the loop. Oh, excellent. They did the absolute bad minimum to tell a story. Perfect. Oh, I love it. I love it so fucking much. Speaking of which, Garfield just apologizes to Odie very perfunctory. You know, you can be annoying too, but, uh, you know, you can be annoying too, but, uh, sorry and hey I guess we both belong to John so anyway and then because Odie can't say words or remote back it's just he's just saying this to a regular dog like there's nothing else to do it's a dog looking

at a blue tennis ball that's about it. Did we mention the prison section? No so here's the thing so Garfield we skipped over this but really quickly Garfield falls out of a window and slams through the roof of

another like lasagna fucking meal prep kit truck. It's so ridiculous. A lasagna truck. But like it's a metal roof of a truck, ladies and gentlemen. He falls out of this fucking sky. He would do dead. Terminator

cat, it's insane. Instead, he gets a lasagna. He gets even fatter. He eats all that lasagna. Then he gets caught by animal control. And when he's taken to animal controls like prison area for these animals, he says, guard, may I have some shoelaces, please?

Not only does he say that. When he's getting arrested, he cries police brutality, which you know that's fucking hilarious. And then he's planning on hanging himself in his jail cell. While singing, sing a swing low sweet chariot. It's a little much. Not a song for you to sing Garfield. No, it's not. Not a song for you to sing Bill Murray as a matter of fact. What the fuck were they thinking with any of this. Trying to Epstein himself is what we're getting here. That's the idea. Give me some shoelaces, man. All I got are these prison slip-ons. When Garfield falls through that roof, too, that was, this is the danger of having him surrounded by real cats. Because you're just imagining like, well, now, I know if a real cat dropped 10 stories onto a metal roof. Like, they're snapped in half. Like, they're in pieces. It becomes lasagna. Yes.

Like, if normal was taken that fall with Garfield, only one of them is breaking through and safely landing on the lasagna. The other one is definitely dead. also Garfield like surfs down of a bunch of stairs like again it's like it's this action star party animal Garfield like he's a fat ass who doesn't go anywhere that's his car he doesn't grind rails no oh he's dry that's the whole fucking thing god damn it and also Stephen he can't Epstein himself unless the head of the dog prison is the one who's actually killing him all right you know what all right well the cameras were mysteriously not working that day. The dog pound the cameras went out. Instead of saying, can I get shoelaces, like, you know what? Can I get a phone

call to the Clinton Foundation? Was Garfield telling everybody, I love to be alive, I would never kill myself? Oh, man, my fellow party animal Garfield's locked up, baby. We got to send them some shoe laces, if you know what I mean.

We have to check the lasagna, express flight logs. This cat's going to rat. You know what I'm saying, baby? Wait, Mr. President, you actually want us to send shoelaces to this cat? No, baby. I want you to send Joey shoelaces.

He's the number one assassin in the country. He knows too much about all that veal lasagna on that island. Yeah, I'm a cat assassin. All I assassinate are cats. Listen, there's only two things we have. in common. We both hate Mondays

and we both love poo dink baby! You can now reply to Elon Musk with a photo of him eating lasagna. He'll know what it means. Yes, sir. Interesting. Wow, it should look into this lasagna conspiracy.

But there's like a longish sequence which we don't have to get into where he finds out Garfield is about to get adopted. He learned like he's kind of nasty to the cats that are adoptee. earlier on and now he kind of right if he learns anything in this movie is that they're

friends too and like he explains like oh man I screwed up with this dog I need some help and Alan coming as Persnickety also known as Sir Lloyd or whatever Roland or something Sir Roland helps Garfield escape the prison yes yeah it's a very long

scene of just like hearing the life of Mr. Persnickety yes that he got fire I mean it is pretty rough to be like fired from your job and put in like just give into a dog pound all of a sudden. Also dog catchers only exist in Garfield cartoons.

I did. I did. Yeah. And milkman too, yeah. Yes. I do love the shot of all the dogs because the distraction is like Alan Cummings character hits the red button which opens up all the fucking cages which I don't know why this device

would exist but sure. And all these dogs run out and these cats run out or whatever and the shot, it's like this overhead shot of all these dogs running out of the pound. And it just reminds, anyone see that movie White God, the Hungarian film from a few years ago where it's like, it's a movie about like this city has a stray dog problem and the dogs like have finally had enough.

It's kind of like Planned of the Apes with dogs, but they're not talking. And it's like these dogs just start killing all the human beings they come in contact with. It's fucking wild. But like so much of the movie is just menacing overhead shots of like armies of dogs running down these Hungarian side streets. Only time

in human history, I'm confident of this. Anyone has compared that film White God to the film Garfield. There you go. Just put it out there, folks. This is the kind of quality content you get here on We Hate Movies. I'm just putting it out there. Most people go for the easy hole in one and just say it's the Beethoven

thing all over again. We are going one step further. Beethoven. Better movie. Better movie. Oh, much better. Absolutely. I think this scene spawned a conversation between Baja men and the Garfield producers and I'm sure they responded with

We're trying to move past to let the dogs out That was the last five years We're going to give you a new song Because it felt absent there in this movie Dude Bob it is stunning that that movie That song does not make an appearance in this movie It's really wild And it must only be because they told them not to use it

Now we're only worried worried about a new thing Who's gonna bring the cats in we've been thinking too much of the dogs out the cats in well we love all these brilliant fucking song parodies in this movie why not who let the cats out good question yeah we just did we just did a simpson's episode where they wanted to they did a parody of who let the dogs out they basically they're listening to radio disney and it's a nicer version of who let the dogs out which didn't need a nicer version that's the joke and to license the song i think the Baja men insisted they sing

it themselves and appear on the Simpsons. Oh, wow. Yeah. Good negotiation. I'd have done the same thing if I were to if you get to do a performance on the Simpsons, yeah. You're very where every 15 minutes. Garfield sneaks into a control room at the train station

and causes almost a train disaster. I mean, my God, Mr. Glass. He tells us the lives would be done. It's the fucking airborne toxic event from white noise. Like he is about to cause havoc in this town. It's amazing. And it's all just to like, it adds just five minutes to the movie because Garfield,

that train is moving away. He's like, I can't catch a train. I'm like, it's moving pretty slow. Garfield, I gave you a pretty good chance. But I say he's like, I have to make it go backwards. And I kind of like that Happy Chapman is so poor. Like he is such a low status, local news. This guy, he's like, well, we're not taking a plane to New York City.

Let's just take an eight-hour train ride. Which might actually be more expensive, right? Yeah, it just might be as a matter of fact. Also, it's kind of weird here because, like, Tobo, like, is shown sitting in this, like, luxurious, straight out of North by Northwest fucking dining car. Yeah. And this dude comes up.

The first line inside this train car is this dude that goes, salmon, steak, or lasagna. And this is where we learn that Tobo hates lasagna, but, like, On what train in the United States of America in 2004, where you get in that? I don't think so. In this country, it's like you get your fat ass up, you go to the fucking concession stand car, and you buy a bag of fritos like everybody else. Yeah, we have fredos or pretzels.

And the driest weird sandwich. I mean, you are taking everyone's life in your hands, giving them lasagna on a moving train. I mean, it's, you're asking for it. Salmon? I really, I don't know, man. I don't know. Train salmon. Exactly. Yeah, I've read an Amtrak recently and it is, it's open seating, no reserve seats, not a dining car. Yes, it's, uh, the Amtrak also must have paid some good money for this to, to get at this movie. Yeah, to, to show how fucking abysmal they've been for the last 30 or 40 years in this country. I don't know why they took them out of the Amtrak's, but apparently with the Metro North, the trains in New York, they took out, uh, bar cars because people would drink too much and get. And, get drunk. And it's like, what? We're outlawing fun now. Well, now it's a B. Y.O.B. a policy era. Yeah. You can just sneak the beer in. And it's kind of funny because they ditched it on

the Hudson and Harlem line. Sorry guys. This is New York centric talk now. But the two like New York only commuter rails. They got rid of them first. But Connecticut, the New Haven line kept it for years after that. But now that's gone also. So yeah, it's all brown bagging it now. Or like sad. And actually they got rid of this shit too because of the pandemic in Grand Central. There was always the dudes right before the track entrance where they just had the big coolers. Yes, but they got rid of that not because of the pandemic because... Oh, really? Some of those guys, someone involved in that was embezzling money and then they just banned it out right, which...

That's right. Now everything... You have to go to an actual store and they're hard to combine. Some of those closed in Grand Central. And it's more expensive from those guys than it is from the cart guys. So the movie Garfield, you understand. We can talk about Bay Area trains Yeah

On the bar train You can't drink on it I can tell you They close the underground bathrooms In the station Because of 9-11 They reopened last year Well

You know They reopened them Wow That's how they They wanted to make sure That the terrorists didn't win Okay Want to make sure

The terrorists didn't whiz Hey So Garfield Um Makes almost crashes everything Yada Tobelowski chases him to a luggage area with Odie and

this is when everything looks dark for Garfield but all of his friends that he met inside of the prison or the animal control place from everywhere from every yes everyone just springs and like it's it's kind of a horrific scene for Tobolowski it is it is

I was really hoping he got ripped apart I would say it was like cartoonish I wanted that to be last shot of him. I wanted him turned into lasagna, just to keep in pile. It would be awesome if it's like, because it's actually kind of funny. It's all done in like silhouette and Garfield's like all right, dogs, cats and rats, go get him.

And then like, you see the silhouette and all these animals descend on Tobo and he falls down. It should just be a pile of suit. And then just just lasagna everywhere. And then somehow these animals turn totoe into lasso. At least we get to see the collar on Tobo and

And they shock him with it. And you get the lightning effect coming out of the collar, which is kind of sharp. He's got some force lightning, which isn't too Chevy. And also definitely CGI Tobo doing this backflip because we learn earlier on that like he uses this shot collar to make Odie do tricks, including a backflip. And then in this movie at the end, Tobo's doing a CGI backflip, which is kind of funny. I like how Garfield says that that's inhumane. Like just like, you know, like even Garfield has a limit guy. absolutely no the the other funny story in the interview i watched with tobolowski that he told was

that he was asked like do you have a problem with rats he's like no i actually have a pet rat and they're like okay they gets on set and they're like so here's a bunch of rats now we're putting peanut butter on your ear now and they're going to eat it off your ear no all right wait so that reminds me all right so what is worse all right so that story of tobolowski peanut butter on the ear so rats can fucking nibble and lick you or whatever, or Daniel Stern's story about shooting the end scene of Home Alone 2

when the pigeons descend on them and he definitely had a pigeon shit in his mouth. That's a tough one. See, that's a real Sophie's choice of horrible things animals doing. I'm going to take the rats. I'm taking the rats. I'm going to Hollywood rats

over New York. Wats teeth on my skin. Yeah, I'd take the rats. I was just curious if anyone would take the pigeon. Steve, you take the pigeon? No, never. I mean, that's the terrific. You're going to take the rat? The rat, you know, these rats are bred, you know, they're clean, you know.

Are they? Probably. I guess I would wage. No, here's the Hollywood pigeon, dude. We just talked about on, oh Lord, what was it? Oh, our We Love Movies episode on Last Crusade about how they had to specially breed all of those rats for that scene. So it's

all clean and above board? Don't think that's happening on the Garfield. These were just whatever fucking weirdos had a bunch of rats. Yeah, you can bring them. They can be in the movie. We got to shoot this in five weeks. How long does it take for rat babies to gestate? Oh, that long?

I mean, I'm certain this all takes place at a train station because like literally couldn't even get like the cheapest L.A. airport for like five hours. There's no way. Totally. But yeah, so then Breckenmeyer and J.L.H. come in here and dude it's a real lame John Arbuckle punching this dude out

this was at least a take two Breckin I don't know out of character it seemed unearned and it seemed odd to me well I mean how many Apple carts did they have to stand on to punch Steve Donald Blaske in the face there's a cherry picker that lifted him

and this is before Tobo's heart surgery too so he's like a big tall dynamo in this movie absolutely yeah he just he just assaults him It's like, I mean, I guess he stole his dog or whatever in it, in Zaptim, but it feels like a note of like, can we really believe John Arbuckle is a real man if he doesn't punch this guy?

If it was true to John's character, he would have winced after he punched Steve and Tobolass was like, oh, ah, my hand or something like. I mean, it's a lame joke, but it would have been a joke. Make him at least it was. Yeah. And then it's like, oh, that did nothing to Tobo. And then Odie steps on the shock collar and they leave him in this fucking baggage claim, getting shocked to death. But when he's hauled out by the police and getting arrested, it was pretty funny.

When we cut to Tobo, the news anchor brother, and he mentions, this is great. I love the whole thing like, oh, a deranged man started this commotion. And then he's like, oh, it's my idiot brother. Well, that's that was fun. It's one thing to get arrested for, you know, stealing a dog. You're arrested for this big train

kerfuffle in 2004 Homeland Security is involved. You're done. You're done. He's literally in Gitmo. You're trying to do this to impress the people of, of the morning show, of the New York today? Good day, New York. Yeah, good day, New York. Like, so that's what you did this all for, huh?

Yeah, you're not, you are literally going to be passed around like cigarettes. Jessica Chastay just started asking me all sorts of questions. The next day, sorry, the next day, Ron DeSantis is sitting in on his torture. Right, yeah, I forgot about that little Ron fact. Yeah, he was involved in it. think he was the one that was blaring the slip knot. Uh-oh, my balls are getting zapped while they're blaring new metal at me. Oh, fuck.

His electrocution acting is good. Like, again, when I say that he's the only guy who knows what to do in this movie, like he's like, oh, you want me to act electrified? Yeah, okay, I know. And Henry, you were totally right, like completely spot on, man, when you said that this was like a Disney movie villain. It absolutely is. Like, you could see him play in the.

character in some like Disney channel fucking direct to streaming whatever garbage kids film it should be a Disney channel original like this honestly even though this was theatrically released and made real money Disney channel originally is above it in quality

and budget I'm sure absolutely correct I will say that I would have been okay with the Breck and Meyer punch if that had freeze framed and ended the movie. Oh yes because that is what the problem is like I was just like That is it. The fucking animals got the revenge.

Let's get the fuck out of here. Yes. Totally. Freeze frame punch. And it's like, Animal House. That would be great. Arlene became president. That's exactly right. Tobo was fucking lost in Vietnam. Nobody's mom again.

No, so then we get this like, Jennifer Love Hewitt again throwing herself at this guy is just like, because he says something to her, you know what, Liz, you're a real good friend. And she's like, John, I want to be more than friends. When I step on your foot and say, I want to suck your cock, I want to suck your cock, dude. I think she's talking to you.

We learn that she wants to be flavor blasted. I saw your snack cabinet at your house and I've never been more turned off. because yeah, that's it that we're cuddling on the couch later on feeding each other's goldfish. Dude, yeah, there's nothing that turns me on more than watching the tail end of an affair to remember while just

feeding my wife fucking goldfish crackers. Drinking goblets of Pepsi Blue. Enjoying your night. I was screaming for this movie to end. Oh, yeah. And this is the fucking pushing them off the seat cushion here. It happens a bunch of times.

It's just a real dog being shoved. I would hope everything was fine on the set. But yeah, I just, I feel bad watching the cutest dog ever get shoved right. It's fucking brutal, man. I hated it. It was the worst part of the movie for me. I was like, this dog is doing nothing right now. He has no idea what's going on.

And he has some fucking weirdo in a blue suit keeps pushing him. And all this dog can think is, why can't I see that guy's face? What is this thing? It says none of them were harmed in the filming. of the production was in the credits. Sure. Okay. You get a fucking check to those people. Oh, yeah.

They'll let you harm all your wants. I can't believe that like, okay, I get the Breck and Meyer probably had like a sequel clause in his contract and he comes back like Jason Lee did in every chipmunks movie. But like Jennifer Love Hewitt, she should not be coming back. And she is in the sequel. I couldn't believe when I looked at the castles. I was like, no, she actually came back for this thankless nothing. role. Now, but Cabin, you

appear to have seen a tale of two kitties. Is that correct? How much is she actually in it? Does she go on the vacation with them and everything? She goes, well, that's what spurs the vacation is she has to go for work. She has to go to London for something. And Breck and Meyer is trying to propose, of course.

Oh, sure. Yeah. And he doesn't, because he gets so flustered. Chris, did you just watch this because you're a little pain pig? I mean, a little bit of that, Eric. That's a little bit of everything. Yes, I watch. Yes. I watch. I watched it right after I watched the first one today. I got to tell you, Cabin, I thought the same thing,

and then I went and took a shit. I didn't do that. Let me ask you this, Cabin. I got it earlier. I'm just trying to think about what the story of this could be and how it plays out. End of this movie, you know, he probably proposes successfully, yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We get any, like, through the credits or like a little epilogue or something where she's knocked up, and Garfield's like, now there's going to be a baby. once it faded to black Andrew it was turned off the credits were not considered they were not considered

they were there enough she births cats oh really that's what he finally yells Garfield whole litter comes out of there no I well I you know when this got to the end

I have been to reprogramed by current day movies that like even I don't just mean Marvel movies but like every Sonic movie ends with in the next movie will have this character. Like, when this didn't end with them teasing that like Binky the clowns going to appear in the next one or something, I, it felt like a lost opportunity. But the 2004 equivalent to that is more dancing.

Yes, totally. We are back. He's doing the fucking James Brown. I feel good. And I think I this is what I thought was the like the proof of concept. Like this is how we'll animate Garfield in the movie because it's like so out of no. I mean, they're watching fucking Carrie Grant and Deborah Kerr

in a fair to remember. Like, how does that inspire James Brown dancing? I don't, you know. Very weird. It's very, it's very dumb. It feels like repurposed test footage. They're like, well, you know this over. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. And, uh, and then it's like you get this credit sequence where it's like

all of the photos. I think it's like the photo, like it's things that happen in the movie, but they're made to look like black and white photos, which also makes it feel like Garfield died at the end of this movie. And this is like all the fucking in-memorium photos of him having a good time. It is a grim march at the end of this film, which is odd. And I think that's why they had to slip the Baja men in again.

They were like, oh, fuck, this looks totally miserable. Better fun it up with the Baja, man. They should have put on, it's so hard to say goodbye by boys from men instead. As it in memoriam. I'm with Chris that this movie could have been like five minutes shorter, but also an 81-minute movie that, like, I welcome that in the year 2023.

Absolutely. You're totally right. Somehow the sequel is shorter. Some. No, it's shorter than 81 minutes? It's like 78 or something like that. It's really fucking down. That's embarrassing, dude. That's terrible.

But that is the end of this movie that made 200 million off of a 50 million budget. So, yeah, a tale of two kitties was totally inevitable. We'll start with our buds here, guessing on the episode this week fellas final thoughts and recommendations for Garfield colon the movie I thought I was prepared

but I definitely was not prepared for this not a recommend I will recommend if you're not 40 you might not remember these videos but there were these viral videos in the late odds from a video organization called Fatal Farms that painstakingly accurately recreated Garfield strips with video

that is how this movie should look because those are actually funny but they are making fun of the source material but if you want to have fun with Garfield, that's the best way to do it. Oh, I really like that. I would say that they did not, but in 2004, Garfield was already becoming the internet ironic fandom, but the movie is not ready to catch up with it yet. But I, I feel like if you were five when you saw this, you probably liked it all right,

just fine. Like, I like Care Bears movies when I was a dumb kid, too. Like, it's fine. I agree with your classic statement that it's fine to like it. But no, if you're if you're a Garfield appreciator, it only annoys me in all the ways. It's not like Garfield and it just gets it wrong. And the and also, yeah, I just can't the disconnect of a cartoon character Garfield around all these other real animals. And then on top of that, everybody in this other than Stephen Toblaski is so boring.

Just the most like sleep. there's i've seen worse movies uh for sure but and worse like i'd watch this before the snow buddies movies for instance or any of those but but no this like is just so boring i uh i i would did not feel bad that i had waited 19 years to finally see uh yeah i'll just go ahead and say absolutely not uh check out the cartoon wherever you may be able to find that i'm sure it's a bunch of different places that was like that was my garfield that and you know, reading it in the newspaper, impeccable shit. This movie, they really, it kind of feels like they were racing into something where there wasn't really a rush to do so. Because like, it was

already way late anyway. So like, why not take a beat and make sure it's something instead of absolutely nothing, which is what this is. They wait 20 years to do it and then go like, oh, we only have three months. We got to do it right now. Exactly. And, you know, I'm just glad that, you know, my man, Dean Cundee, got paid for this one. Steve Sadek. Yeah, you know, I'm a big Garfield fan myself. It was the first books I ever bought. You'd have a book fair.

You'd get $5. Hell yeah. You'd buy a little, little Garfield book because you don't want to read a real book because you're me. You know, so I loved Garfield growing up. And I just, you know, I don't find any of that here. Like, it's just so devoid of any of those Garfield characteristics.

Garfield looks weird, sounds weird. And yeah, I think that, like, to Henry's point, it's, it's so shocking how few jokes they can find for people who are not Stephen Tobolowski. Yeah. To the point where I feel like maybe Tobos write his own jokes or something, like, where he's just like, well, I got to do something, right? Like, something funny should happen. Like, oh, that's a good idea. What do you think, Steve? Like, I just, because there's nothing here for anyone else other than Garfield.

Those jokes aren't, aren't fantastic. So it's a big no for me. And Tobos easy to, like, rewrite his own jokes because it's, it's a person with a mouth. Like, it's harder to do that with animation, obviously. You want to try to match that mouth as much as you can. Eric Siska. Yes.

I prefer people with mouths as well to animation. So it's a no for me, for me, obviously. This was, while it's only 80 minutes and that's a blessing, it felt like two hours. Just, oh my God. What did you say last night, dude? Every single minute feels like three. Was that Chris? Did you say that? That was me, but it's, oh, was it easy.

Oh, okay. I was a good one. Because I only watched it this morning. And my God, I also waited 19 years. I wish I waited 19 more. That's it. Chris Cabin, final thought. Yeah, I mean, absolutely what everybody said. I agree 100%. The one thing, I think, I mean, it's, I mean, was it worth this to get Steve Zissu? Maybe. Like, if it's to get through this to get to something like that. But like, I don't think so. This just feels, it's funny. that because it doesn't have the tone of the Garfield strips or anything like that, it feels more like it was just a Bill Murray movie.

Like the whole point was to just get Bill Murray's voice in your ears for as long as with a fat blob dancing around with the thing there. Solis cash grab. Nothing about it like melt. It felt

very loose. Nothing felt like it packed together. It just felt like scenes and effects and voices that we think are popular and it just uh it just disgusted me uh and up of course the product placement being as insane as it is in this movie it was just a terror to watch but yeah horrible horrible movie uh so before we all go our separate ways and chug a bunch of blue pepsi uh bob and henry what do you guys got going on over on talking simpsons and your family of shows oh sure yeah like you said andry

we do talking simpsons uh every week we alternate between a classic and a not so classic episode all of you wonderful, very funny guys have been on it. I think you're all in the five timers club at this point for Talking Simpsons. I like that. And you can find that wherever you find podcasts and we have a Patreon. That's at patreon.com slash Talking Simpsons. We cover things like Futurama,

King of the Hill, Batman, the animated series, Mission Hill, and the Critic. And we're doing a ton of stuff on Patreon, like you guys. Yeah, and if folks like movie talk as well, which I would think if you listen to this, you do, we do our premium podcast on the Patreon is, what a

cartoon movie where we go like six hours on animated feature films like uh like our longest one six and a half hours on roger rabbit and we earn every minute of that we do not we're not fuffing about let me ask you this dude because like that is some like hardcore marathoning are you guys doing that in one sitting or is it like we're going to get lunch and come back uh we used to split we used to actually do it on the same day but now we basically we have the a hard split in the middle of it. And so it's basically like, but it is four hours straight. We often do four hours straight. Yes. And you get that for one low price. I'm going to guess. That's, that's what I like, that's what I like to hear. That's right. Just 10 bucks a month to get the

premium edition along with the $5 stuff Bob talked about at Patreon.com slash Talking Simpsons. Then you can give a previews of that on our what a cartoon podcast feed everywhere you find podcasts. Oh, as well as where you find Talking Simpsons. There you go. Well, as always fellas, you know, it's always rad. getting hang with you all. You know, last time we were hanging, it was IRL, but virtual is still cool, too. So thanks for popping on, as always. You always bring great insight into, you know, whatever we're talking about here.

That's going to do it for us, gang. If you want more, we hate movies, of course, you can check out our Patreon. Patreon.com slash we hate movies where this month we're a we love movies episode all about the OG Brian DePalma Mission Impossible in preparation for this new one coming out. We got once in a lifetime that just dropped last month. Have you haven't caught up with that yet? We went back to the stalked cinematic universe. Stocked by my doctor is Sleepwalkers Nightmare.

One of the greatest crossovers in film history. That's very true. Erica, who do we have? Big month, actually, for the Gleap Glossary, no? A month for the Gleap Glossary. The soundboard is dead. And we are talking. Long live the soundboards.

To celebrate our favorite geriatric movie star who also has a movie out now, Hans Solo. That's right. Yeah, it's going to be a five-hour episode. Big one on the leaf loss. We laid down Melro 210. Of course, that's one of our top tier shows

where we go through an episode of Beverly Hills 90210 and Melrose Place and Steve, we had a little bit of fun with that this month. Did we know? We did indeed. A lot of Jim Walsh getting humiliated by by Dylan McKay. And there's some,

and Sydney, our dear friend gets busted for prostit. So there's a lot of, a lot of stuff to talk about that. Oh, yeah, a lot of twists and turns on this episode of Melro 2-1-0, of course. And if you haven't caught up with it, our quarter two sinkable commentary for this year was, of course, Spider-Man, No Way Home. So hear us talk in various shitty Huey-Dooie and Louie-esque impressions of Tom Holland, Defau running around there, too. And I will say, yes, we bash the MCU an awful. lot and I've been seeing some stuff online

and I just got to say listen to the fucking commentary man because it's not all hate we do bring a lot of what we think are positive aspects about the film but it ain't a great movie and you can watch it along with us all that and more in patreon.com slash we hate movies now Steve say that because I understand

it the summer blockbuster extravaganza continues next week on this very free feed what are we talking about on we hey movies next Tuesday to tie in to our Patreon episode on Mission Impossible 1 we'll be doing Mission Impossible 2 on this. Which relax.

It's okay to like a movie. We like the movie. We like the movie. We talk about good movies, bad movies, TV, and toilet talk on this show. So yes, John Woo's much maligned and I will say unfairly maligned. Mission Impossible 2 coming up next week on Wii A movies. But until then, I've been Andrew Jupin. Stephen Siddak.

Eric Cisker. Chris Cabin. Bob Mackey. Andrew Gilbert. Take it easy, folks. Bye-bye. That was a hit-gum podcast.