We Hate Movies - S13 Ep685: Mission: Impossible II

Episode Date: July 11, 2023

On this week’s show, the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza continues with the gang chatting about the fun studio chop job, Mission: Impossible II! Will the Woo Cut ever see the light of day? How incredible is the spectacle level jump from the last movie to this one? And why couldn’t they cast a few more… memorable actors for some of these supporting roles? PLUS: If Tom Holland starred in a Ronin remake, would you watch? Mission: Impossible II stars Tom Cruise, Thandiwe Newton, Dougray Scott, Ving Rhames, Richard Roxburgh, John Polson, Rade Serbedzija, William Mapother, Brendan Gleeson, and Anthony Hopkins as Mission Commander Swanbeck; directed by John Woo. Want more WHM? Join our Patreon fam today and instantly unlock hours and hours of exclusive bonus content, starting as low as $3 a month! Be sure to get in early and get your tickets for the WHM Holiday Extravaganza where we’re talking The Santa Clause! Check out the WHM Merch Store featuring new Skeleton Juice, Spring Tour 2023, KONG & DILF Den designs! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Because, hey, is all the wireless even seen lately? Lip biscuit. Excellent. This week on the program, it's Hitchcock's Notorious, just with way more exploding cars. It's Mission Impossible, too. I'm Andrew Jopin. Stephen Sadek. Eric Ciska.

Ethan Cabin. And we hate movies. movies. Hello everyone. Welcome to We Hey Movies. Thank you for tuning in as always. That's right. We have accepted the mission to once again talk about a film from this quite entertaining franchise. This is a mission impossible. Part Duh from 2000. Oh, I've seen this one. This is where they drop the bomb on Saddam Hussein. Oh, that's hot shots part of it. Oh, fuck. Yeah. No, no, no. Yeah, you got to remember. This is the one with the rooster that's being a lot. That's awesome. It's also hot shots part of it. All my notes are about the love interest named Ramada, is that wrong? Also hot shots. Okay, damn it.

Which one is Ryan Stiles in? Both of them. That's both of questions. No, I'm serious. As a matter of fact, he's in both of hodians. He's a male man farmer in the first movie, and then he plays some other guy on the mission. Oh, no, I meant Mission Impossible to or Hot Shots too.

Oh, you know what? You know, Ryan Stiles could have played one of these guns because these dudes are worth this. This I should mention, of course, is directed by John Wu. Hell yes. Imagine that a Mission Impossible with Canadian. Oh, my God. Because he's Canadian, right?

Yeah, put him next to fucking Dominic Purcell, little baby Dominic Purcell. Sure, why not? Wall to wall Australians in this film, man. Oh, my God, of course. There's something they got like a discount or something when they were down there. It must have been a hefty discount, man.

This should be considered like an Australian motion picture. It is. All right. We've talked about it. We're going to ask for $50. We want $50 for you to shoot your little impossible mission here. There's a $100 leaving town tax. Now, also, can you put a Faustus in your movie?

Also, could you break Yahoo series' neck? Oh, dude. Oh, that would be awesome. He'd be great in one of these movies. Top of the franchise, if that happened. Oh, yeah. Put him in the role of this fucking Australian thing. It doesn't matter.

You could put, literally you could put one of the Tarkins in here. You know, this Billy Baird character, I think his name is. like we'll get into it more later. I feel like I should have looked it up. He was probably some like big Aussie like TV guy or something. But like give me Paul Hogan flying that helicopter man. Anybody. Someone we know.

Oh, yes. Paul Hogan, definitely. Remember he had some movie where he played an angel or something? Oh, yeah. Yes. Oh,

fuck. I think it's called heaven. No heaven for Australians. Is that it? That is it. Yeah. He won't let an Australian man into heaven. St.

Peter's like Vegemite. I don't think so. The slogan of Australia, of course. I know why you all want to hate me right now is because I want to hit play real quick. Coming soon to theater. It's a VHS trailer game. America and Australia's favorite game

about obsolete materials. No proof to us. Well, that's, I think, I think maybe Australia's second favorite game show because the first favorite game show of Australia is everybody knows. Boxing kangaroos. No, fine. the guzzaline.

Oh, yes, exactly. I think that when they air it in Australian TV, it's called Guzz Hunt. Oh, yeah, dude, they hunt that gus. It's so good at siphoning there. All right.

But this is the... Wilma here. Wilma took her hockey mask and we thought that was a nice story list of addition. Now we've got to get a little class out of the VHS too. There we go.

Which is, by the way, a mission impossible. It is a mission impossible. But not for you. You're in striking distance, Mr. Hunt. I will say, uh, this is kind of like,

give you a little schedule for the end of the season here. Oh, good ideas. This is, we're in July, so there will be one here. There'll be one, a full trailer game right now. And then there will be another trailer game on our Birdcage episode, which is broadcast live. And then on the Universal Soldier episode, which will be our last live episode of August, there will be a bumper with a huge VHS trailer game. That's the finale. That's where all the points will be awarded.

And the winner will be crowned and whomever wins will be able to choose an episode. episode from the previous, from like the first 100 or so episodes of, We Hate Movies, Fandom and redo it. So a redo episode, based upon whomever wins basically right now, the score. Considering who's in this room, it's probably going to be a Star War. Could be a Star Wars. I bet you. But the only archive Star War, I think, is Fan Menace. We can do Phantom Menace again. Or Chris, actually, what do you want to do? I was thinking the Phantom Menace. Really? Okay. Because I wasn't on that episode. And I feel. Got some dots.

Tiger in the cage. I think we would pick the same episode. Oh, I don't know. So Chris has 49 big points. It's a big one. They're very big ones. Eric has 41 medium-sized points. Not bad.

There's some husky boys in there. There's a few big points. Some are thinner. And Andrew has 28 points. Still in the running. It's child-sized points. So, you know how this goes. I'm going to do five clues.

You know, whoever rings in, blah, blah, blah. If you get it wrong, you're not in the same round. Okay, so this is from the year 2000. Two clues here. One of the three movies I'm about to reveal has been a previous episode on this very show. One of them. And more interestingly, every single trailer on Mission Impossible 2 was directed by a woman. So there you go. Oh, wow.

Okay. Films, here we go. Okay. So, Game Master's Clue. Nice. This rom-com is fantastical for two reasons. It involves a man getting telepathy and for positing that its lead

an embattled action star is someone who can change and be able to get in touch with their feminine side. Andrew Jupin. What women won? That is five big points for Andrew Jupin. Very good.

There you go. I'll see you next season, folks. I feel like the last score. I need to go back in time to think of Mel Gibson as an action star. Yeah, but he was. He was. Let me tell you something.

I mean, yes, he was. And he is. There's an attempt again, dude. Coming soon to on screen lives, secret movie section. Oh, I like this. There's some dog shit like Mel Gibson. L.O.L. Mel Gibson, a cop working for IAB.

Oh, yeah. And it from the trail, I can't even think of the fucking name of it right now, but from the trailer, it is clear, Mel Gibson is in 10 minutes of this movie. Oh, there were seven of those released this year thus far. And also, of course, she's lending. his wonderful face that doesn't look like it's seen the ravages of alcohol. He is putting his mouth towards the Jim Cavizal sex trafficking opus sound of freedom. Oh, that's burning up the box office here.

Here it comes. I want a career like that. Not like that. But like, not like that. You know, I pop in for 10 minutes of a podcast. Yeah. Out of there. Yeah.

A huge check. Well, first step one. get pulled over for drunk driving. Step two, call the officer pulling you over sugar tits. Step three, proceed to rant about Jews endlessly. Step four, be sure someone is taking it. That's just a start by the way. Sugar tits, you're complimenting the young lady.

And if they're running the world, I mean, my God, they must be smart to do that. All right. You know what? Let's get into round two here, folks. What happened to chivalry is what I want to know. It's a great question. Game Master's Kalu.

this small time crime comedy caper centered on local news paired a TV star actress and a Eric Siska lucky numbers it is lucky number for five big points because you think about that right like a TV station thing it's got to be lucky numbers it's got to be lucky numbers anything there was back in the multiplex days quick lucky numbers story hell yeah it was not me because I would totally cop to it if I did it another projectionist building up the print for that movie put some of the reels out of order just two of the reels were swapped or something

and literally nobody going to the movie noticed at the theater until like the Sunday afternoon someone like finally came out and was like I think the movie's out of order dude it had been in release for 48 hours that is insane we saw that together I think we had one of those previous

very avant-garde picture where stuff happened out of morning oh man you're really going for it Tarantino do this one, too. All right. Round three, the final round. Ooh. Game Masters Kalu.

Sick. This 70s set film was the breakthrough for its Nepo baby author, leading a second generation of that directing dynasty. It featured in the Dreamy sign. Andrew Jubin? The Virgin Suicide. It is the Virgin suicide. Wow, look at that. Hey, Chris, you shut the fuck out.

I mean, Chris is also shut the fuck out. I'm still in the lead. So, fuck you. You are in the, listen, you're going to win. No, no, I understand. Fuck you. But this is a, this is a rivalry. People love these in sports.

Sure, of course. I'm trying to get jocks into the show. So it's sort of like, you know, I'm the Yankees or the Red Sox kind of animosity. There you go. We're playing it up for, you know, obviously. We're both from New York, so maybe the color commentary that'll be on the news about this. Well, it'll juke our numbers, both of us. So here's the thing.

Now, Chris is 49. Yeah. Eric has 46 and Andrew now in striking distance, 38 points. It's a huge, huge round for him. Now it's a game. Now it's a game. Now it's a game. And we haven't, have we added the bird cage? We will not add the bird cage points until that airs. And then there will be the finale on Universal Soldier.

So see us all here this summer, folks. That's right. That is right. Yeah, you know, every time one of these Mission Impossible movies comes out, like which Dead Reckoning is out, well, if you go into the fan event, you can see. you today when this episode is. Oh, the fan. Yeah, we're talking to Wednesday release. You know, I go through the series and now I watched this one last just because I didn't want to like watch it two weeks ago and then like rewatch it or whatever. Yeah. And like this is probably the one I go back and forth with the most. And this time, for me at least, it was a real like,

there's obviously competent action here. But I will say this. We mentioned this on the we love movies episode for Mission Impossible. George Lucas telling Brian De Palma to get all like the lovey-dovey sex stuff out of the movie. Lucas was right, man. There's way more of it in this movie. And while it is indeed sexy, because it's Tom Cruise and fucking Tanddewey Newton doing it up, not for Mission Impossible. But that's the thing. I think part of like, because I've grown to like this a lot more than I did. Yeah. Everybody in theaters, by the way? Yes. I was in theaters. By the way, that trailer No, I definitely saw this.

Who makes it. That trailer lit the world on fire where it's just him crawling up the mountain or whatever. I fucking love. I think about that every single day of my life. Used to be an art for him, Eric. Instead of just telling me the entire fucking thing from the, never mind. But anyway, what it is, is I think, a very popular John Wu movie. It is like so potently just all of his stuff.

And he doesn't care that it doesn't necessarily translate to an American audience. despite this being, like, the most American fucking... But, I mean, John Wu had other action movies that did translate to American audiences. It just so happened they weren't anchored to franchises. If you had this movie and you just called it renegade spy or something else... The chimera fucking experiment. Exactly. I feel like a lot of people out there because this...

I think this one gets done dirty the most. And I think people would be more accepting of it if it wasn't... I'm mission impossible. I'm team sort of mediocre on this one. It's fun. there's a lot of cool action, yada, yada. There is. But I do think there's a down time, too. There's a lot of downtime. Like Brian De Palma's stuff is not, it is very action-packed and very

exciting. But I think John Wu adds something here into the stew that is still around a day. Oh, yes. He created the spectacle part of it. Exactly. We're not created, but like, I mean, obviously, the ending in the train with the blah, blah, blah, is spectacle. But this, this movie really pushes the spectacle button and they keep pushing the spectacle button in, in even cartoony ways, which we still have today and it's fun and thrilling I think the real problem is yeah the love story maybe doesn't work apparently that's why

John Wu really wanted to do the movie yeah I think love story is kind of interesting I mean I like it I like that's part of the reason like the John Wu John Wu has these kinds of romances these crazy like we're just too misunderstood like crime doers

there's a there's a bizarre like sexual back and forth and fucking hard target yeah I think there's I think face off and broken arrow he didn't go full flag I think because they did so well with having Brian De Palma just do his thing

they're like John Wu do whatever you want to do man just do your thing which turns out to like that is an interesting idea right like here's this franchise and we're going to get director like each film is going to have a director with a very you know signature style

and then what do they do in the third movie just hired JJ Abrams which is the world's most successful gun for hire kind of director and that all falls to nothing. And I think that sort of is the plug from the damn. This is hardcore the Tom

Cruz show. The third one. And then it becomes the Minister of Information, Christopher Macquarie. Tom Cruise is a minister. Briefly, the Incredibles guy, Ghost Proreco. Oh, that's right. I love Ghost Proffaw. I do too. I really love that. I rewatch that one. I think part of the reason people reacted badly this also

is because it is such an enormous shift from Brian De Palma. It is. Like, that is a spy movie. That that also has action set pieces. This is an action movie. The spy stuff kind of is non-existent. See, sorry, I would argue it's in it way more than I remembered it being, though.

There is way more of slow spy stuff in this movie as opposed to like breakneck action. Like a large chunk of the beginning of this movie, I'd think, I would argue, was kind of slower. There's actually kind of a clever part about that. Because if you notice in this, Tom Cruise doesn't fire a gun in the first movie famously. And then in this movie, he doesn't fire a gun until that big biocyte sequence, which is kind of interesting because... Then he fires a thousand bullets. But it's because it's kind of smart in that way because Doug Gray Scott, as Ambrose... Who?

Doug Ray Scott. The ghost, you mean? The ghost that's in the movie? Can you imagine giving birth and naming a Doug Ray? But let me finish my point, Doug Gray. See, now you know how I feel all the time. All right. Doug Ray Scott, he makes the thing where it's like, oh, Ethan Hunt,

wants to do subterfuge, et cetera, et cetera, but I want to blow shit up. So then he has to sort of, it's Ethan Hunt having to play by Sean Ambrose's rules for the rest of the movie in terms of a great breakneck action movie. And then kind of the rest of the series becomes that, which is fine. Right.

And the third movie, I actually really like still. I love Phillips and Mer Hoffman. I love the McGuffin, just being a muguffin or whatever. The whole mystery box garbage actually worked for me there. Yeah, the rabbit's foot. But that's, you know, we're talking about the love angles here. I mean, that movie also has it where he's contained into this relationship. Well, yeah.

But it's really used against him. I guess that does happen here. But, well, I think neither these two, De Palma one and the Wu one, are the two where they actually brought on stylists. Like Brad Bird and JJ Abrams are very good at the mechanics of blockbusters. They make efficient big movies. The technical directors. And they're very good at it. even when they fail, I think they're very good at it.

And from, and then Macquarie, that sets the stage for Macquarie to me, which has made this very consistent, not very stylish, but Tom, it's a Tom Cruise movie. Yes. And it has, I think it's worked. For the most, it's my second favorite franchise. Aliens always going to be number one. Okay. And I think this is always going to be number two.

The consistency in the one, like, this is probably, this or three is the lowest one for me. and I like them both Right It's also like When Harry Potter Those movies found David Yates They're just like You know what I mean

They just sort of like slowed down And they're like This is This guy could do what we want them These movies to look like And that's what we're gonna do forever He is Typhoid Mary For this too dark shit though

Yeah You can't see anything in the fucking frame He is the first guy to really press that shit And like as much as that like I think the first one he did I thought was pretty cool but ever since it's just been a disaster. He comes into the fifth movie, I think.

Fourth or fifth, I forget. Goblet or... Yeah, I mean, the fifth one, I remember being in the theater, like, I can't see a fucking thing in this movie. And it just continued from there. Two things about Mission Impossible, too. One, it was the highest-grossing movie of that year,

which is kind of incredible. Number two, got nominated for a couple of Razzis. And the only actor of the film nominated for a Razzis. Let me get. Was Tandy Newton, if you can believe it. If you could believe that. What a shock. Unbelievable.

You know, I think she's really good in this. She's great. She's a highlight of this movie. Yeah. It's got, I mean, it's like when I say actually, I mean like the way people talk to each other. All this stuff. It's not very like quiet talk, technical talk, all that stuff. It's like big romantic like, I will find you.

I will find you, Willie. And I will free you. that's that's probably got to be a stay tuned right oh my god i've never seen free will really oh sweet jesus we should clamshell casing it in my house oh man it we will i believe yeah yeah i think we have to do at least 20 minutes on the michael jackson song for sure it's not a terrible song it's pretty bad uh i'll tell you this dude it is it is a family film with michael madsen as like the fatherly figure oh i love that He's very gentle in that movie.

And Michael Jackson, that guy loved to Free a Willie. He did indeed. He did indeed, Eric. Excellent. Are you going to all day, little whale, or are you going to fuck up this yacht? No, yeah. I talk to them. I don't know. I put it on the Resi a couple years ago.

Free Willy way better if it ends with Michael Madsen being consumed by a rogue orca. That would be amazing, right? Because now they're working together. They're fighting mankind. It's amazing. This movie starts with one of my favorites. guy who made the most money off the movie the saint because after that he was allowed

to be in movies doing this thing. Yep. Raibed Serbia. I love that dude. My man. Love that. He's great. Fucking rules. Of course, famously never takes his coat off and taken two. Which I believe is a long thread and are taken to commentary. Certainly.

There's just words that he says that just stick in my brain to me like, Ballet off phone. Oh, yeah. Just immediately. I remember that now. I shouldn't. but chimera it's like he's narrating mortal

combat it is so yeah it's a weird opening because it's just like it isn't hello Mr. Hunt choose to accept this movie like well Dimitri here we are again

did I want is it this is like when I went to go see I went to go see Spector they started playing Spotlight it was like Boston 19706 and I was like is this the right movie

and it turned out to not be the way James Bond gets molested as a child that's why he turns into a killing I was born James Bondowski. I grew up on the docks before I moved to London. Dimitri,

you have so much problem going on. Oh, yeah, he's talking about like his fellow scientist, buddy, succumbed to this chimera virus. You don't exactly know why, but he's got to get to Atlanta in 20 hours and this, that, and the other thing. I just thought he got a shitty

connector, you know what I mean? Like, it just happens. Dimitri, you have to save me from this layover. We must be there in 20 hours for the bathroom on this flight has been, it does not work. There's a paper sign. It worked when we got on, but not now. Fucking Delta. I go from Sydney.

I want to go Russia. They put me through to Atlanta. They always put you through to Atlanta. Man, yes, Sydney to Atlanta. That's a hell of flight. And here's a question that I have about the au revoir of this film, because the, or this franchise. I think Ethan Hunt is sleeping with a lot more of these people

than he leads on because like, everyone he knows. Exactly. He's like, oh, Dimitri, you're the only one I would trust. Oh, you have to ferry me then, Dimitri. I suppose so, Steve. You wonder about this an awful lot.

I think they just might be close friends. I think they're Essend and. Yeah, maybe. Just but think of that, like, dun, dun, da, da, da, kissy, kissy. Exactly. I think I think he's, he's like pumping

along to the Lalo Schiffran. In, out, in out, in out. In, out, in, out. He's dedicated. We know that about Tom Cruise. I think he would do it for Ethan. Nipple play. Nipple play.

Now put the firework in my ass and light the fuse. I remember those cold nights in Zurich. Because I think that's what happens. The ones we don't see, it's like your mission, if you choose to, oh, it's another sex one. Okay. It's genius on the IMF's part. No one's going to say no. Exactly.

I think this is also very clearly the horniest of all these. Oh, my God. By that's a question. Country mile. I think it's quite, the first one's got got something going on there with the problem. Yeah, I mean, please.

Well, I was, I rewatched a fallout yesterday and what's her face? Rebecca Ferguson. Ferguson. No, not Rebecca Ferguson. Sorry, the blonde girl.

Vanessa Kirby? Yes. Vanessa Kirby is super fucking horny in that movie. Oh, yeah. Out of control horniness. wild shit I've got a diffuser I'm hoping Estrada brings the energy

but it's like Dimitri we are going to Atlanta thank you so much for riding Atlanta and it's you know you're like yeah what is it some sort of weird like he's fleeing his war-torn country drama like what is this

and you know then it's like oh the pilots got some bad news about the air pressure in the cabin better drop the masks here and you're like these people are getting gas. I would just I mean like the minute those things go I'm like I'm dead like yeah maybe we make it

out of this but like I'm see that oh there's death hello the specter of death I luckily have never been on a flight where they had to drop those for whatever reason but you must imagine the ones that come out okay when you're de-plaining the fucking feces and piss smell

just from everybody just evacuating so it's like a regular It's like a regular flight then. It's a Spirit Airlines flight. Yeah, exactly. No, I would, yeah, I would lose dignity immediately if that thing popped down. Yep, absolutely. You start screaming.

Screaming, crying, like throwing babies aside. No, let me live. Absolutely. This has been such a waste. Where's the, where's the break in the hull? I'll shove this baby on it. Start screaming, I need to get out of here. Just opens the emergency door.

flies out. Well, that's pretty much what's going on here because we have, Tom Cruise is like, oh, I'll go. go get up and see what's going on. And then he comes back and sits down. And dude, we're ripping that mask off and here's DeGray Scott. And you're like, oh, interesting.

And so it's DeGray Scott and his team of thugs, including William Maypole there, which Tom Cruise's cousin. I guess like he's like the hacker of the group, but he literally has one line in the movie. Yep. So who could care? And then like a couple other dead meets.

And then this other, the British fella. Richard Roxburgh. Yes, Richard Roxburgh, who's been heavy in some other things, I think? He does this kind of role all the time. He was Dracula in Van Helsing. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God, that was him. Yeah, and he's also in one movie

I haven't seen in a little while, Malen Rouge in some way, shape, or form. Oh. I bet you he's a bad guy. Yeah, I would think, yeah. Well, it's hilarious, because he's like pretending to be the pilot and the co-pilot, like, has the mask on and looks over like, Captain, why aren't you?

and passes out, which is really great. And, yeah, he basically, he sets the plane on a crash course for a mountain. And all these dudes jump out a hole in the floor. And we get some cool, your skydiving and, like, the wind is, like, whipping you away from the plane. Doug Gray Scott does chop Raberser's neck and then break it, which is pretty fucking fantastic. Yeah, that's beautiful. And that's when you're like, because he does that with the Ethan Hotmas. And you're kind of like, I remember being in the theater like, well, that's a little too violent for Ethan Hunt.

Little did I know. At that time, 23 years ago, I was being set up for the most mask play. Any mission impossible. This is mask happy, dude. And I would argue a scotch too much mask play. It's fun though sometimes. It's fine. I mean, like they, I think they better use it. The use of it is much better in three. That whole scene. is really good with Phil Seymour Hoffman. But he's like telling the guard, wait a minute while the voice uploads. Yeah. I mean, Nuthre Scott doing this.

I mean, that, I hate doing this because it is so rare for me that like the actor is the problem for me in a movie that it's so rarely happens. But you have him going up against charisma atom bomb Tom Cruise. Yeah. And it's just, it makes almost all the tension in this movie drain right out for me. And even from this moment, like, when it takes off, I'm like, okay, it's a guy. I, I, I, it's a guy. It was John Voight last time.

Oh, my God. It's another guy. It's just a guy. It's a guy. It's not Tom Cruise. It's just some guy. He took off his mask. He's another guy under there.

Oh, my God. Holy crap. There's a couple of guys in this movie. This was exactly the audience's reaction to it. Oh, it's a guy. Who's the guy? Well, what had he been known for him? You're a great question.

I was looking at this up. The best I could get, I think he probably had some heat because he gets this and famously he gets X-Men as well that he had to drop out of because I thought I always misunderstood that story to be he chose Mission Impossible over X-Men. Oh, no. No, but he was in Mission Impossible and ran long.

He hurt himself and then they had to drop him out. Yeah, this production fucked. Yes. But could you imagine him as Wolverine? I don't think it would be as good. Honestly, thank goodness. Yes. like really i mean because jackman's got

jackman's got it this guy kind of does it the heat off of the movie i believe ever after which is kind of a thing i think he's the male lead in the movie ever after it's that's just some guy ever after yeah no i wouldn't see it was just some guy it's prince guy it's prince some guy

it's crazy is it you got a movie here ever after you got of course a famous person drew barrymore there's some guy in the movie oh you know i was reading the script for mission impossible, too. We need a guy in that. Why'd you get the guy from that movie? He can be the guy in this movie. Excuse me. Guy on a budget.

Let's make that very clear. We need a guy on a budget. I think they must have learned their lesson though, man, because the very next movie, it's Fawley, man. Ghost Protocols, though, the fella from Girl of the Dragon tattoo, Mikhail.

Again, we start going into some guy. No, but that guy had heat, dude, because... John Wick. He's, I mean, he's the bad guy. Girl with Dragon Tattoo was also very big. I like the dude, the Irish guy, guy, from those latter... Oh, Sean, yeah, the guy who plays Lane. Sean Harris?

Sean Harris. He's great in a movie with Joel Edgerton of this year, which is, I forget what it's called. It's a really slow burn movie about a guy, Joel Edgeden being undercover. It's a really cool movie. Oh, that's pretty... He's in, I believe, this Irish movie called 71, which I thought was quite fantastic. You know what's funny is a rewatching rogue name?

or whatever and there's like they do the sketch of Solomon Lane or whatever Solomon Lane, which is Sean Harris. I'm like kind of looks just like Simon Pegg in this guy. It totally does. The stranger by the way from 2020. Sean Harris, for me

he is Ian Curtis and 24 hour party people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great performance. Yep. He's not just a guy. No, no, he's got a face and everything. Yeah, these are all people with heat on them going into these movies. So, you know, duress got whatever dude you won the lottery

that's the thing is like it's it's fine like it's I think the what they're trying to do with them as like connected and knowing everything about each other would work better with a bigger star sure but like he's fine like he's in that Ripley's game he's not a bad

actor I just think it's such a bad idea for this particular movie was too gritty and to subdue like it's all internal stuff you know what I mean like I think place the creep very well but like all the other stuff just goes to pot. Meanwhile, Ethan Hunt is on, I wouldn't call this a vacation,

but this just sounds like a fucking, A, it's a death, death wish, obviously. It's all about what you're into, though, dude, because look at it this way. You call camping a vacation, and I would never in my fucking life say that about camping. So for some people, yeah, this dangerous free soloing shit, maybe it centers you, maybe whatever, not in a thousand years for anyone in this room. It's an awesome opening. It's awesome. I mean, I actually, it's so famous that when the movie started, I was like, ain't he supposed to be on a top of a mountain rat?

Because I just think, like, well, that of course must be the cold open of this movie. But when we finally get to it, he's free soloing up this rock. He's listening to Iko, Ico, which again, if it centers you while you're rock climbing, fine. We got to talk about the music in this fucking movie. That is terrible. Yeah. The limp biscuit is terrible. Then we got like, Enya shit hanging out in the back end.

Metallica. The best part of the flamenco dancing, honestly. Even that can fuck itself. That fucking new we're noodling a Spaniard's guitar while we're kissing each other. Like, come on.

Going a little too far with the flamenco. I won't be hearing the dispergement. He's just a guy whose ears really despise the sound of classical acoustic guitar. I do. I understand why maybe some of this stuff makes sense,

especially like Wu wants to go kind of bigger with this stuff. That makes sense. But I'm just like, it's not doing it for me. I got to tell you that Libbiscuit, the Libbiscuit song. I listen to both the Metallica and Libbiscuit song on the way up here. Libisket song, you will forget because the music starts.

And I'm like, oh shit, is this song awesome? And then fucking Fred Durst shows up. Oh, wait, now it sucks worse than anything I've ever heard. It sounds like he forgets what the lyrics are halfway through. Like mission pass. Because that has always been the catch 22 of that band. is West Borland is a fucking great guitar player.

And late 90s is Fred Durst. And do with that what you will. Because it's like late 90s cool, chunky guitar, if you're into that sort of thing, which I am. And I'm like, oh, cool. He's like, bar, oh, bar, bar down. And I'm like, yeah, that's pretty cool.

Oh, DJ Lethal's scratching it up. I also, whoever is in, I don't know if he doesn't himself or if he has a team, I assume he has a team. Whoever is handling the makeup on West Borland that makes him look like a Babylon on five villain every time he gets on stage. I really do. I love it. I think they're doing great. I think that is one of the biggest

wastes of time. Just get your ass out there and play the guitar. Do you want to be photographed with one Fred Durst? Do you want to be a photograph looking like a possessed member of ICP? One, please. Right over here. Because he's got this, it's like a, it's a look. You know, whatever you don't, if you don't like the makeup, you don't like the makeup. She didn't kiss fucking gave it up, dude.

if you took it off, you'd be saying, it's just some guy. I kind of miss it. I don't know. I kind of miss it. I went to see Limp Biscuit. There was just some guy. They fired West Borland.

Oh, he's not there. You see what having it? They fired the haunted clown guy and they just got some other guy. Haunted clown is a perfect description. I think we said this off the air, but they certainly knew that production, Paramount knew what they had with that song because you only hear the West Borland guitars

in this movie. There is nary a Fred Durst vocal line in this movie. They play the entire, and the credits, they play the entirety of the Metallica song, which was enormous and not very good. And then like there's like a little clip of the, uh, the, the, what he call it? Like, it's during the fucking like no animals were harmed. You're here. Now I know why you won't hate me. Oh, right. You're right. It is at the very end. You're right. Now is it true. I think I glance

this on the Tribune trivia that that Metallica song was the one that leaked to Napster and started the loss it was yeah it's insane the typhoid Mary really yes yes we do love that expression in this movie we're very fond of it

but this uh you know the whole free climb thing here I mean this is like this is the first spectacle stunts there's stunts and shit in the first movie but there's not spectacle stuff and like the train stuff with Voight is great but it's all fake exactly right this is a real deal thing. Like, yes, they digitally

removed wires from Cruz, which is, I mean, it's still impressive. Loser. Yeah, I could do that. Fucking wired. I mean, you wire me up. I'll fucking climb any mountain you want. I mean, Christ. Exactly. Said all the cool dudes on the internet after they saw

the movie. They digitally removed all the piss on his pants. You see that? Because you would be letting go. I know. William Shatner in like his 50s can do it. Yeah. We can all. We can We can do it. Go climb a rock. Oh yeah, that's the t-shirt

I'm wearing on the bridge. But yeah, you know, it's a crazy thing like Wu didn't want him to do it. There are a couple stunt dudes for some of the things, but it is Tom Cruise up there putting his life on the line in this movie and it fucking rules. He wants to do that and he also does it in the knife

scene which we'll talk about later, which is insane. That's real dumb. That one's real fucking stupid. But a great moment of the film. I really do. Oh, no, it's great, but the insistence to use real knife there is fucking Because, I mean, again, this is when Tom Cruise, I mean, look, he's obviously asserted himself like he and De Palma got to a lot of fights in the last movie. But this is when he's like, no, I know what these movies need to be.

And it's going to be about me defying death each and every time at least once or twice. Yeah, and apparently even pick the director or whatever. So like this has become the Tom Cruise show officially here. Right. To the point which goes all the way down to catering folks, I saw this in the trivia as well, that he demanded there be cold bananas on this set. cold bananas. The bananas must be cold. Well, that says, you know,

don't like them hot. Yeah. Oh, yeah. The bananas are chilly today. Not cold. What did I say? Don't put them in the fridge. Put them in a bowl of ice like I asked. Congratulations. We're shut down for the week. I will say there

is, because there is that like asshole side to Tom Cruise, a very large asshole side depending on who you hear. And it comes out in some of these movies. It comes out in this one when he's on the on the balcony with tandy duton and they're fighting about like do you want to do this mission or not and he's like would it make you feel any better if uh is it would make you feel any better if i told you i didn't want you to do it's like yeah would he's like well feel better it's just like this real like you know what i mean it's a real like dude fight element i believe that's the scene that uh i think it was a vulture interview that tan dewe did a couple years ago where she talked about that and she was like That fucking sucked because he was trying to, like, just tell me how he wanted me to do it and it wasn't working out. And apparently also there was some trouble because John Wu decided for the production he wasn't going to speak English and he was going to use a translator.

So that made him things like doubly difficult. And she was saying, like, he did this thing where he was like, okay, we're going to switch and you play Ethan Hunt and I'm going to show you how I want Naya to sound. And he did it. And she was like, that just made it way worse because I had no fucking idea what he actually meant. And he was just like saying lines at me. And what was crazy is she tells this story.

She went and she called J.D. She called Jonathan Demi. And was like, I'm making this Mission Impossible movie. This just fucking happened to me on set today. And he was just like, oh, no. Like, go back there. You just assert yourself with him. Like, and she totally like gave him,

gave her the confidence to go back and do the scene again. But like they had to redo it like weeks later. And she was like, he did like helped out at all so i just tried to like mimic the way he said those lines at me and that's how they got through that scene she did say like it's kind of interesting because she plays it both ways she's like you know that was super shitty and he's a very intense and terrifying person but he puts like the pressure of these movies all on himself and he's just one of those people that like doesn't he's incapable of delegating and so like he's thinks he's the

only one that knows how to do everything right with this shit and it just makes it really hard she said otherwise she had a great time making a movie with them or whatever but that scene it was like no no no you play me and i'm gonna tell you how i want you to say your lines is fucking crazy i mean this is also the movie that started the rumor that he was like telling people that no one can look at me in the eyes like everyone has to look down but apparently according to the trivia and who knows is church of scientology probably wrote it in red congas or whatever that they kept on blowing scenes at the horse race because people would just stare at Tom. Oh my God, it's a guy from Raymond. It's that guy. It's that guy. It's that guy. It's Justin Hoffman's friend. His friend. But that, that rumor persisted. I remember even the last samurai, people were like saying you'd be hit by, hit with

reeds for looking at Tom Cruise. Yeah, I don't believe. Well, you never know with the diabolical church he associates with. That's very true. You know what else he associates with in this movie? And this set the world a fire. So he gets to the top of the rock and a helicopter pulls up and he's like, great, it's work calling.

And a fucking little rocket comes out and lands in the rock and he picks it out. Oh, it's not a blow up one. He just tells it, it's not a blow up one. Now it's a messenger rocket. It's fine. I get these every day. Yeah, it says like

office memo on it. But he opens it and what's inside for the year 2000, a pair of Oakley sunglasses, dude, and you bet your ass. This movie set that a fire. People buying Oakley sunglasses, including me. And X-Men had, the Cyclops

wore Oakley's as well. We love those Oakley's back of the day. Are they coming back, you think? I don't know. Are they staying? They never left. Dude, if you're part of the extreme sports world, they never left. I bet you that's, if they really wanted Google glasses to take off, they would make them in

Oakley's. I think you would really get, right. Bump those numbers out. I've done all the divorced dance who look at pornography and walk down the street. Oh shit, really. Interesting. Look, she's getting fucked in the ass

and I'm crossing the street. Load, Lode previous MP4. Load previous MP4, Google. Yeah, that divorce guy's looking at porn on his Google glasses. He thinks he's an IMF agent, but he's watching J-O-I video.

It's not the same thing. Search J-O-I, not IMF, pervert. but so your jerk off instructions should you choose to accept them I am watching Busting Impossible okay

I am trying to be cultured you have to come in 30 seconds Oh my God Coming up next on Spism Impossible 3 Oh yes No but the voice that Steve is doing is because in this movie

The leader of them all Is an uncredited Anthony Hopkins Booh Yes boo indeed boo and d because it's just such a small role and also just like they are we're just pumping a lot of british guys throughout this IMF aren't we like simon peg joins in the next film well that's why i mean for this at least like he's trying to do he's doing his like flat hana balecta thing like i'm not entirely english it's a little creepier than that Ethan hans oh it's creepy english it's a good question because is this an international or an american agent i always thought they painted it as american that's what i was but, you know, maybe they recruit people from sympathetic nations. Well, because like Pegg's character Benji starts out as just like a computer guy

at Langley. Right. Isn't the story that it was supposed to be Ricky Drew Vase? Yep. And we just the biggest bullet dodge of the century of the just I've never, I would not be able to watch these. Oh, Ethan, did you know that God ain't real? I would I would create so many multiverses to set that right I would just fucking everything up

Dr. Strange get your fucking wizard ass up here We gotta fix some time Flash get your fucking running shoes on We gotta fucking figure this shit out They would have gotten rid of him by now though They would have been like Ethan would have had a line In one of the new movies like Oh yeah when he fell off that cliff

Well I mean they got shone the head three times And then someone pissed in the whole They straight up like don't That's what I kind of love about these movies is they straight up don't acknowledge like why or when team members leave. Right. You know, we don't know what happens to the fate

of this obnoxious Australian guy. That's true. Maybe he'll be back in Dead Reckoning along with Kittrich. You know, next movie, Jonathan Rees-Myers, he's a fucking one and done. Sure. But you just kind of assume like they've been killed or maybe disavowed or something.

Hopefully, God willing, they've all been killed. Well, wasn't it always an attempt to like find somebody? Because that was Jeremy Renner, too, them trying to find somebody who would eventually take over for Tom Cruise who's now like, I'm making these until I'm 80. I will be an octogenarian playing fucking Ethan Hunt.

Yeah, that's a bad. Go for it. Go for it. I dare you. Give it a shot. But like, he eventually would have to become like the John Void. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got to like, I think they're ahead of the game. The Scientologist, say what you want about them. Sure.

They probably got that Nazi secret science going. He's probably got stem cells and robot limbs are ready. If he's doing this when he's 80, the fucking big stunt in the new movie will be a beer before bed. I don't know. I don't know. He's going to drink that whole beer before he goes to bed. That's a pretty big stunt.

In this one, he drives a sob after 9 p.m. Even battling his night blindness, which he definitely has. Ooh, in this one, the big stunt is he has to not use the handicap space, but a space at the back of the lot and walk all the way to the store. I mean, I do like Hopkins in this.

Like, this is around when he's doing these kinds of drop-ins. I'm just going to add just a dose of charisma here, everybody. Look, Ben Hopkins in like the early aughts and shit. It's better than hearts in Atlantis, which I saw in theaters. But so he has to go find Tendu Newton in Civil Spain. And this is the flamenco dancing party scene. It's pretty sexy. Pretty spicy.

Oh, yeah, dude. I just, I've never, you know, I haven't gotten to Spain yet. I imagine people are just having sexual intercourse 24 hours. That's how they conquered the planet. It's mandated by the government. It's small plates and sex all day. What do you think the fucking siastas are for, man? You go get you de-est and then you go have some topics.

And you know what it is, Eric? You make fun, but it is the flamenco acoustic guitar music being everywhere. A horny, as horny a genre music as I've ever heard. It's the horniest musical genre. It has to be. But small plates is the key, I think. because you have like, you just eat small throughout the day

so you never really fucking heavy. Yeah, no food. That's true. Constantly fucking common shit and whatever and fuck people. And then you got that little plate to catch it in if you need to. Some sausages and beans and fish. Just little beats, little bites. Oh, God. I don't know why. I do love

topas. Condoms or a towel isn't enough for you, but you need a tapas plate to catch it. Well, I don't know if they're into some weird shit. I don't know. I don't, I know they have the small plates. I don't know about their condimental situation. I presumably they have a few.

This is also, we get, when he spots Naya from like across the way, I mean, instant hornery on both sides, but classic John Loo, we're getting into slow motion. Oh, yeah. It's this weird jittery music video slow motion that happens here. So you're essentially watching like a Flamenco music video. So like heavily digitally manipulate.

Like it looks like the. the Plymico dancer is in a different realm completely. Or it's like there's maybe a little image trail kind of a thing. That's what the effect we're putting on here. A lot of the aesthetic of this movie was aped from the you wouldn't steal a car, would you? It's the same vibe. This is your 2-0-0-0. Yeah, period.

That's why Lip-Biscuit is heavily involved. That's just insane, isn't it? You think about it? Oh, my God. They didn't get deaf tones. point down. If you recall also, that video was

top in the charts on TRL, both of them. Well, you know, James Headfield jumping off a rock. I fucking love that. Well,

Libbiscuits rock and they said, it's like Russian roulette when you're placing your bed. You know what I mean? Oh, I heard that. Oh,

wait, so wait, was there also, there was a music video for the Lindbiscuit song series? I believe the lip biscuit music video

and I might be complaining with another one, but I believe this is what this one was. It was like, everyone's blaming us for Woodstock. 2000. I can't believe it.

Really? Oh my God. Go to jail for Woodstock 2000. 99. Yes. Yes. They were blaming them for 99 in the video specifically. Part of that terrible documentary sort of blames them too. I'm sure. It's a lot of like saying

like Fred Durst like didn't do anything. Like you didn't get out on the mic and like tell people to knock it off or whatever. But it was supposedly like their set. Of course because break stuff was played. Sure. That's speaking of light the fuse. Your mission. should you choose to accept it, Fred Durst, is to not get sued.

If you complete this, this lawsuit will explode in 10 minutes. If you can not act like a complete asshole for 24 hours, Mr. Dursk, you will save the free world. But so his whole deal is, as Hopkins explains to him over the phone, we haven't met Hopkins yet, IRL, but he's like, you have to, like, meet her. She's like a jewel thief, you know, an accomplished thief of, you know, repute. And so she, she has to be convinced to come on to help you because, uh-oh, she used to date this dude, do Grey Scott's character here, Ambrose, Sean Ambrose. Now she's into guys with longish hair who are very handsome. Now, and we think you might work just blind for this.

Yeah. Also, just leave your family jewels lying out on a table and suddenly she'll come. come and pick him up. This is one of the sex ones he gets. Is this exactly? Oh, Mr. Hart, your mission,

if you choose to accept it, have sex with this woman. Yeah. A lady this time, she's pretty hot. Give her a fuck her into accepting a job. Start by giving her kisses and then work from there. But I do think it's,

it kind of sucks about this movie is they set her up as this cool jewel thief. We rip off out of sight for about five minutes. And then, um, she's never a jewel thief again. And it's like, and even Tom Cruise is like, wait,

I thought we were using her for a jewel thief. I was like, nah, she's just a lady. She's his ex-girlfriend. Oh, sorry, did I say jewel thief? I meant pussy. Excuse me. Exactly. Also, she's a very unknown paper thief.

She's of repute. She can take paper from any pocket that you ever, ever thought. Yeah, I mean, that kind of, she uses her pickpocket. That's a little bit. It sets up like a fucking Tandy Newton Catwoman scenario, which I'm very interested in. Oh, yeah. Tandywey Newton as Catwoman in general, supreme idea. Great.

Put that into the thing. I'm glad. I'm glad she, I mean, if anybody else is going to be in that movie, I'm glad no. Haley Bear could take that hit because she was so big at the time. I think anybody else in that role, it blows up their entire career. Oh, would have totally, yeah, killed her career. Yeah, it destroys it. I mean, it didn't, it didn't do wonders for Hallie Barry. No, no, no. So now we're seeing what would happen with Doug Ray, Scott, if he had gotten. Yeah, an ex-superhero. Oh, man. Maybe honestly, he might have, he might have stopped all this. He might have done it. Here's what could have happened, though. And this is kind of interesting. Let's play alternate

universes again for just a moment. But if he, so let's say he's in that first Wolverine movie or the X-Men movie playing Wolverine. He's clearly ill-suited for that role. They would have, because of course there's going to be a second X-Men movie no matter what. They would have fired him. Someone else would have taken the role and we would have stopped dead in its tracks. That thing that started in the 2000s, that notion of like the same person has to play the same superhero in every movie or else something's wrong. Because nobody had a problem with that with the Batman movies in the 90s

with three different Batman. Because back then we rightfully ignored AOL message boards instead of making it run Hollywood. Precisely. And I think that could have been like, oh, well, they changed out Wolverine who gives a shit.

Or it's like, oh, there's a different timeline now. I can't Wolverine? No, it's because that actor sucked. All the imaginary stuff has to make sense all the time. You know what that's right? If this happened, we would have had X-Men No Way Home

and you would have seen a scene with all the multiple Wolverines and you would also have like I don't know dude like you'd have another fucking Iron Man movie with somebody else's Iron Man and it would have been just fine you know what I mean like totally fine so the whole thing here is like

she is going to steal she we're at a big sexy party and she's going to steal this dude's ex-wife's necklace that he's like getting ready to put up for auction the next morning this is turning to do a key party in like 30 that's also part of her clock I gotta get out of here

before the orgy start. Speaking of Tom Cruise's hair, doesn't he still have the eyes wide shut haircut in this movie? I thought the fucking piano was going to go off at any second.

This is Magnolia haircut. Oh, is Magnolia hair? Okay. It's, yeah, I think. Eyes wide shut, it's close. It's a little shorter.

It's much shorter. I must have been thinking of Magnolia. But in Magnolia, it is long. It's a little longer. Yeah, yeah. Anyway.

Sidney Paul's going to get the fuck out of here. It's going to start in a couple of minutes. You're going to miss the piano. Everybody get your robe, John. decision for you. You understand that, Ethan? You shouldn't be here for this.

This is a mission you should not accept. Another great mask movie. Exactly. Among the best of the masked movies, I would say. So, yeah, so she's, you know, looking to break open the safe that's in a bathroom. She's kind of hanging out in this tub. He drops in and he's like, uh-uh, it's the one all the way in the left. And she's like freaked out.

We get into some sexy times in this bathtub. And I think this is the only time. in this entire franchise, Ethan Hunt gets kicked in the nuts. And it's a gentle, playful, like, nuttap, but he's into it. Oh, yeah, yeah. He's very into whatever pain you can give him down there. He clearly is very much. I just want a guy I can mutilate them.

Oh, man. Well, Ethan Hunt, you go find him, Eric, because he might want you. These movies don't, outside of this, I think, and this is why this is the horniest one, because yeah, they're sexy ladies and the other movies and sexy dudes and whatnot, but the dialogue, is nowhere near as sexy as shit. Like, you mind if I'm on top and he goes either way works for me?

Like, which, you can argue, yes, sounds a little bond, but like, it's sexy and totally works here. Very bond. I mean, it's all very bonded too. And it's all very out of, this is out of sight. Like, this is literally we're right on top of each other at a compress space. Because it was like 98.

Yeah. Something like that. Mr. Boussa at a sight. And she's straddling this in the whole time. And I'm like, well, okay. Dude, she's fucking riding his face. Yeah, let's go, man. crazy.

And like, you know, we're trying to push the button, the safe button, not the actual button. Yeah, yeah. Trying to find the right button to push. So, you know, whatever. An alarm goes off. Security dudes come in. And then somehow, like Tom Cruise or Ethan Hunt has set himself up that he is this rich guy's

head of security. He's a sneaker. He is sneaking. He is one of the sneakers because he's like, I was testing your, uh, your emergency here. And I just wanted to make sure if it was close enough. I was doing a report for you. Right, but this guy knows who he looks like, what he looks like physically because he comes and he's like, what are you doing?

This is my chief of security. Put your guns down. The sneakers are hired by the people they break into, too. Sure. That's their, that's, he's the sneaker. I guess that's true. I think, though, what we're, what this little bit of confusion is a great point to bring in, the first cut of this movie was three and a half hours long.

Oh, baby. And Paramount was like, you have to make a two hour movie. so cutting 90 minutes out of a movie is fucking tough and you know what Paramount it's your own fucking fault for letting that happen in the first place I think that's why you have these weird things where it's like did that guy hire them is there some exchange with Ethan Hunt

and that dude earlier in this sequence where in fact that would make more sense for this dude to come in and be like he's my chief of security because otherwise how the fuck does he know that Ethan Hunt is that guy you know what I mean? I'm just happy that I would assume since it's John Wu, there's just so much

more blood. Apparently there is. I read that there was way more violence and gore, whatever. Maybe not Gore, Gore, but blood for sure. Release the Wu cut, folks. Why don't we fight for something good in our lives? Yes. Do it now. I would love that. And you know, there is

it's the famed like VHS boot of that work print or whatever. We all hate movies at gmail.com. We can be very discreet about that shit. Oh yeah. I want to see. It's like it's like an hour and 40 or two hours and 40 odd minutes. So it's not the full

woo experience, but I would still watch whatever that is. We do not talk to or cooperate with authorities. That's our modusep and I over here. So send it on over. We're journalists. So I think that's right. That's right. Look, how else am I supposed to see the demi-cut of swing shift?

Am I supposed to just sit here and do nothing? Absolutely not. And if somebody has their hands in the Onani club, you know, that's it. Listen, just slide it under the door. We all hate movies at gmail.com. We ain't telling nobody's. That's right.

So, yeah, he's like, hey, yeah, yes, I'm checking out your work here because I want to hire you for a job. And she's like, oh, you're a spy. That's, I don't deal with spies or whatever. And then they do get down to some fucking. Well, the first one, we rip off Golden Eye for about five minutes. They just don't have the song. Which part are we ripping off? It's the Famkey Jansen chase scene, like almost.

Oh, the car chase. Oh, like, she's like, all right, yeah, like, I'll consider the gig or whatever if you can keep up with me. And, you know, for what is what? This is a wild car. Shit. It's pretty cool. Tandu is fucking driving an odd ETT, which was the, the pick for guys going through a midlife crisis. This thing was like, it was like a sports car from this one of the safe companies.

So like, it was all over the place at the time. That's right. But, you know, he says to her, you know, he calls. like on some fucking hilarious looking 2000 car phone and she hangs up on him so he pulls up alongside and we're yelling between cars going 90 miles an hour and he's like

you know oh you know I will you know I know I know am I six and Langley and how it would actually sound as like I was a baby they're having a perfectly audible conversation but he's like I you know I know you got all these charges

Scotland Yarden whatnot I can make it go away And this is where she's like, oh, fuck, you're a spy. I don't deal with spies. And then they, like, flamenco dance, chase each other. And then, like, she almost falls up a cliff. He picks her up. But then now we're getting down to fuck her. Oh, yeah.

The weird thing about this is, like, her car almost goes off that cliff and she's dangling by the door and whatever. And he heroically races over and grabs her. They're still just sitting in the driver's seat of her car. Get the fuck on the road. Well, that's part of the thrill, Andrew. I mean, you know, that pumps the juices. Death boner, dude.

What do you go. Is it where, or I think it's maybe the, I think it is the Simpsons when he's almost falling off the side of the cliff and he changes the radio to the, the radio dials to the other side. Yeah, I think that is a Simpsons joke. He should have tried that here. But so, yeah, they kind of kind of start kissing a little bit here. And yes, they do fuck. She, you know, is told about the mission or whatever. Oh, great line, too, where they start kissing and he's like, I don't know if this is the decent thing to do.

And she goes, who said anything about being decent? they just start making out pretty good. Yeah. And then he's like, thank God, this little tapus plate was here. He pulls out and just collects it there and everyone's fun. Fresh shrimp. Oh, we have to go. They almost instantly go for a round two by the way. I couldn't believe that. A little afternoon delight. Because after this, in three and on, you're no longer real. Like there's that makeout scene with Michelle Monaghan into the third one. But like he's a family man for one that it's not really about fucking. with her. It's about like unlife beyond. Well, and that's a thing. Right. He's like, he's pushing towards domesticity. Like, yeah, he gets down with Michelle Monaghan in the hospital break room or whatever. But like,

it's like they have that engagement party. He's living in the suburbia. It's all very safe. And Rebecca Ferguson, like, it's almost like, it's so chaste. Like that's the, it's like, everything after that, it's so chaste. Well, he's an older man now, you know. I mean, they say older men are fucking more than fucking teenagers. really these fucking uh you got introduce me to some of your friends retirement homes they say they're just you know they're like uh olympic village but also what i'm also meaning is like you know like i mean Olympic village those kids can fucking go through anything they want but older man you want to perform the best it's like you don't you don't nut before the football game that old adage right

yes yes so my grandfather said that too maybe i can't jump across this cliff as much if my my abs hurt from fucking also it would be great of this mission is like oh yeah this mission she's no no I can't my fucking every muscle I have is on fire because I just climb this mountain I need a week right yeah I need a full fucking week

do you have a tub of ice that I can lower myself into no I can't do this mission I sprained my back trying a new sex position last night so Hopkins gives him the score oh no she's we're not using her as a cat bag she's pretty much a prostitute.

Right. There's a hilarious he's showing Ethan Hunt like the footage of like Raged or making some like diary video or whatever and it is just the funniest like this is a reminder that DVD is a new home video because it's like you're watching

this on a DVD from the DVD player there is like a DVD mission storage I think it's called Paramount also produced those for Actually, if you want, Mr. Hunt, we can listen to the director's commentary on this Rames Sibesia tape. Yeah, yeah, we fucked it up.

Yeah, we fucked this one up too. Yeah, we usually fuck it up. I'll be honest with you. But he finds out here that Ambrose doubled as Hunt to do this mission. And the whole thing was he was supposed to get Chimera. And now it's like, oh, we lost track of him. And the plane crashed. And, well, Mr. Hunt, would you think this guy would be capable of turning at any point?

Yes, I do as a matter of question. I'll be honest with you, Mr. Hunt. We've been playing a little grab-ass at IMF, and we just kind of lost track of one of our most volatile agents. Well, you know, he's just some guy, really. It's just some guys. It's easy to forget him. Blend in, disappear. It's just some guys.

It's the greatest spy in the world. I know that Mr. Invisible. I mean, who do you think someone we actually pay attention to would get chimera? and the super virus. No, it has to be a nothing. I do like the idea of wear it, like a Tom Cruise mask on someone else. Sure. I would like to see them both. Kiss. Yeah, I was going to say, I got distracted, thinking of them with their shirts off. But like two Tom Cruise is going at each other or just the idea of, you know, like a rogue agent using this mask mask technology against them.

Right. It's cool and interesting to me. Yeah. But it's also weird because like they, like Hopkins basically, throws out that like they do this kind of stuff just working in the IMF like because he says like oh I believe he's doubled for you a few times is that right I was like can you imagine going to work pretending to be a co-worker that's great like I just walk in somewhere wearing an Eric mask it would be easier to pretend to be someone else than be me uh no I will not be eating that cake this just come in it I won't I won't be doing that there might be new listeners that are not aware that most potlucks across this great country and others, if you work in an office and they have a potluck, what happens is people from home, you know, the disgruntled ones, which is almost everyone in America, let's be honest here. Yeah, we let everybody down. They are putting weird shit in there. You're going to taste stuff that's a little salty and maybe a couple hairs. Sure, that makes sense. Those are big warning flags. Also, like when when you eat someone's food and they smile, a little, little riot.

a little wild. You like you. Exactly. They're signaling, they're signaling to the piss you're eating or drinking. They're pissed that you're eating or drinking. I guarantee you.

We've all eaten piss and come. I'm sure. I bathed. Exactly. There's so many people that make food while they bathe. So Ethan, you know,

convinces her to do this mission because he shows her like these plane crash photos and he's like, you know, all these innocent people were murdered. And she says, She says something like, who would have interest in this?

And he goes, well, Sean Ambrose, for one. And she immediately is like, oh, fuck, now I know what this guy wants me for. It's not my cat burglaring skills. Yeah, exactly. So basically, so then the thing is like, oh, we'll make Ambrose think you're in trouble. And this, I think, it's probably in that four-hour cut. Like, this part's really choppy. We are, like, the movie literally, you can see the tracking fast-forward marks here.

Because it's just like, bina-na-mow. but she's like oh only if I'm in huge trouble and they show her like kind of sort of maybe get arrested and he's like oh Ambrose will be watching it and Ambrose will break you out of prison which we won't see yes it's all a weird because yeah right she's like well we just broke up like six months ago he would be suspicious of me if I just waltzed back

to him you know so yes Tom Cruise says something to the effect of like well you know making a lot of trouble is the business I'm in or something like that. And it's like a shot of her getting like a mug shot taken and then she's just on a boat in Australia going to this dude's house and you're like, seems to me something's been deleted from the movie. It's literally just going into jail and coming out.

Like it's a little mugshot and then her coming out of the prison right after. Yes, exactly. Did she just go in there for the mugshot and then come leave? Right. It was the Trump special. Just go in and get the mug shot. They let you out right after. It's fine.

It's quickie. Don't worry about it. No, they fingerprint. but they don't take photos. Oh, that's right. Because they know someone's leaking that. Right, right. Immediately.

So she goes to Ambrose. This is when we meet. We fully meet his crew, which is really, his crew is just moved. We talked about Tom Cruise's cousin. And this dude, Hugh, who is Richard Roxburgh,

his whole thing is the right thing, which is like, you're really bringing your girlfriend of this thing? We all took a pack that we were going to do three months, sell this virus,

get rich and then get laid. We were all on the same fucking thing. We made the pact, dude, this summer, we were dumping our girlfriends, we were stealing an easily communicable deadly virus, then we're getting laid. You don't think, you don't think I miss Anita? You don't think I

think I think about her every night. You don't think I wish I had her to bone here. We had a pact. I'm dedicated. You are not. That's, aside from Sean Ambrose being, as we're told a little bit more violent than Ethan Hunt,

he's just horny. In terms of like actual character traits, he is horny this entire self. Also a John Woof special. We need Tom Cruz and that guy, like he could put on a Newton mask, you know? Sure. And then get it on with Sean

Ambrose there, Dugray. Absolutely. And then I don't know what would happen after that. Maybe the fast forward so Tom is in the outback with his team, which is Luther's Nickle the Great Bing Rames. Hell yeah.

And this dude Billy Baird, who's Australian actor John Paulson and who could fucking care. They fucking put a jacket on a kangaroo and let it act. This fucking guy, I swear to God. This guy is a totally nice dude

and I'm sure our Australian listeners know him from doing a lot of fun down under TV or whatever. Maybe he's a stand-up or something. But like, this is bad. Allow me to counter. They probably don't. They probably don't know who the fuck this is.

I mean, the thing is, like, it's not even, it's the movie's fault, too, because they, they can't figure out, like, he might be the comic relief, but we're not really committing to that either. Oh, dude, this movie is begging for him to be the comic relief, and it falls on its face every time. Seems deleted. Maybe he had a real, a show-off sequence in the original kind. Like, he's supposed to, when he gets roughed up at the racetrack, like, that shit's supposed to be funny and it's just not. Well, there's that weird part when, like, Santinian Newton, like, goes up to Doug Gray Scott. Like, she kisses him. He was like, oh, that lady knows here to say, hello, that's right? Better than you, Luther.

Oh, not that I wanted to make out with you, Luther. Is this doing it for anybody, right? Yeah, that's right. Well, I'll shut up for 20 minutes and then I'll have my other line that I have in 20 minutes. And then, 20 minutes from then, I'll have my last line. John, that wasn't all three lines, right? I still have two more lines. No, John.

I did one line there. I'm doing two more later. Two more later. It's contractually obligated. I get one line per reel of the film. My agent said one of them's in a helicopter. Could you make sure we do that? I'm really looking forward to that one.

Australia is a mistake in this. I mean, you could be there at some point, but like having your whole movie pretty much set there, we have Spain briefly. It's slugs because it's not globetrotting. We're just in Sydney and it's beautiful shots of Sydney for sure. It's glorious. I mean, but this was like, oh, the Matrix film down there.

Yeah. Let's all go to the lobby. Let's get our leather jackets and go, which we do. Let's get our tax breaks and go. They had tax breaks on film productions and leather jackets. And Aussie actors. Get them in there. We'll give you 50 bucks if you put this guy in there.

I love the detail of like they get out of the chopper and it's just this dude and Luther. And Luther fucking steps and shit like immediately. And he's like, oh man, these are like $800 Gucci shoes. And I was like, Luther Stickle is doing quite well for. He is, but you're going on Spicey. You're wearing a fucking A-Hood. That's on you, dude. This is not a nice dinner with friends. Get some Keynes, okay, buddy.

He's a nice, Ikeen booths. He's a computer guy. He might want to go to a fancy restaurant afterwards. He thought he was just going to be sitting in the van or in the safe house. And Tom Cruise definitely, like, Ethan was probably on the phone like Luther, I need you in Sydney, man. And he's like, Sydney, a great metropolitan town. Excellent. Oh, no, but the safe house is out in the fucking outback, dude.

like you'll definitely be stepping in animal shit. Yeah, so we have nothing to eat but koalas and it's it's rough going. I hope you like grass salad because that's what we're going to be having. Luther, most of what he does in this movie there's so many shots of him maybe, I think three I counted where he's getting

he's in the helicopter at one point and he just jumps back into like falls backwards into the helicopter who avoid gunfire. Yes. Multiple times. You get to see his slacks and his shoes go up in the air. Got to get a lean. Got to get a lean.

He's a leaner. But so immediately Doug Gray-Scott does that thing where it's like, I bought you a sexy dress. I'd like to see you in it. And she's like, she gets naked and she's about to put his like, I didn't mean right now. Let's get down to fuck it. It's like, all right.

So I'm getting fucked for the third time in this movie. Great. Excellent. Okay. And we're 25 minutes in. Yeah. This is when Hugh Stamp has a real fucking problem because it's the next day. They fucked. She's totally sleeping.

This dude listened to all of it. Exactly. And they have a business meeting, a crime business meeting where he's like, hey, this is where the fucking, this is where the drop is going to be. And Doug Ray Scott, Sean Ambrose, has the gall to show up at a sex road. Oh, yeah. And you know nothing is on underneath it. He has not watched his balls since. Oh, no. He's just, he probably got fed oranges three minutes ago.

It wasn't, it would not be, look, it's got to be a power move. If you wash your balls, it's not a power move. He's got to smell. He's got to smell it. They are thoroughly juiced. He knows what he's doing. And I applaud him. I feel for Hugh, man.

It's like, can he's like, you know, listen, Sean, can we have one business meeting where I can't smell smegma from across the table? Oh, why don't you do something about it? It smells like I'm in an office potluck. Somebody bring in some buffalo chicken dip. I'm smelling something. Oh, you're liking that guackalca.

Molly. I made it with my schbeckback. I've collected it for months. Old family recipe. But yeah, so people do it. Do Gray is not thrilled about Hugh

bringing up the lady friend. The way he brings it up because they have the meeting. It's like, all right, we're going to have the big, it's like, oh, we're going to do the drop off tomorrow at at the horse track or whatever. It's like, oh, great, that'll also be a cool date for me and me, friend and he's like, you know what, dude, like, I got to bring this up. You know, she left you six

months ago and she wasn't exactly gagging for it then. Interesting slang is it not. And this is, oh, he's got a nasty nail there. Then he's got the cigar cutter. This seems pretty awesome. And he's like twisting it. Also, he's not wrong. That was a pretty nasty thing. It was. Well, look, hey, the man has cultivated a nice Coke nail. And you're just going and chopping it Right on. I think that's part of it. Dude is he's like, I thought we had a discussion.

No snort and cook anymore. You got a real spoon there on your pinky. You look like Harvey Kaitel and taxi driver. I swear it's for tapus. It's to get some more sauce. I stab little pieces of anchovia on bread. You know, you can really carve through a prawn with this fucking pinky. Don't worry about it.

Slice it right down the middle. But it is great because it ends He's like he's got his pink His pinky and the fucking thing He's like, you never. He's like maybe I know she might be a Trojan horse and blah blah blah And maybe I want to go for a couple of rounds first

And then he goes, because I am gagging for it. Excellent. And he pushes down on those chomper's dude. It's the one seat. I imagine they did some preliminary like discussions with the Palmer and this was the one. scene that stuck from his first discussion. He's got to say he's

gagging for it. Remember that. We've got to talking about gagging a lot. You've got to understand the pinky is the penis. He's cutting off his penis is what he's doing there. And I mean, it's just this is just natural stuff with villains and the number two. He's circumcising his subordinate right there in the room,

you see. That's exactly how it's done. Some osse heavy grabs you and puts it in a cigar trimmer. I mean, he is the worst. He's the worst villain in this franchise. But that's a baller move. It's a great.

It's a charged scene of so much of this just glides by on like just action movement. But like, this is an actually charged scene where I'm like, holy shit. Like because, I mean, you used to take time to like build the relationship between the number two and the villain and have some fun with it. Yeah. This, I mean, now it's just kind of like, do it. Yes, sir. I think again, because we're missing 90 minutes of a movie. I really want more.

I mean, give me two and a half hours here. I would do it. And usually I say the opposite, make it two or less. John Wu, you can give me as much as you want. It's John Wu, and there's clearly something that went wrong. That's right. At the story level, like, go back and give me a two-hour movie that works. How about that instead?

I'm thinking reshoots. Yeah, probably. So we go to the horse track Yes And this is like they You know So Naya's got the earpiece in and everything And she's able to communicate with Ethan here

And we are doing like the most obvious We're two spies talking to each other At a racetrack because like they're like No one is used I'm sorry I got a heart fun this Because Chris and I grew up around race track culture Oh yeah Oh yeah you guys used to bet on it all the

No one is using binoculars to look up at the grandstand. No. So, like, the fact that Tom Cruise is standing there with his spy binoculars looking up, clearly having a conversation, like, you don't need to see her, dude. I know she's gorgeous and you just fucked her brains out twice 48 hours ago. Yep. There's my real estate agent. Yep. Uh-huh.

And then I think that's the guy. Yep, that guy robbed me once. Yeah, I don't know. I hadn't seen him since. I'm going to go get that fucker. But so, uh, you. you know, he, they observe that there are some photos

on a digital camera that this, uh, DuGray is showing to a very disgruntled Brendan Gleason. Oh yeah. Who I totally forgot was in this movie. And I love that he gets fucked with so hardcore later in the film. He's high up in the cast, too. Like, when it started like rolling, I was like, Brendan Gleason. Oh yeah. Totally.

I could use more of them. I know you don't necessarily need it for what he is in this story. I need a little bit more of that chest hair. Just another little scoop. take a little bit more of that. But some of the photos that he's showing him are of, like, so people are photographing like large sums of money and sending it to do grace Scott.

In this case, it's 37 million pounds saying like, hey, this is our offer 37 million pounds to buy the virus. And Gleason is this dude, John McCloy, who's like the CEO of this biocyte pharmaceutical company that developed this virus

slash, you know, blah, blah, crooked, something around. Crooked, man that only wants money sort of. I knew my student. It was made in a lab and buy big pharma so that they can control the antidote. That's what we're doing in this movie.

That is what we're doing in this movie. But I feel like Trump would have that Irish lab. You know, you know, you can't imagine. You know that the Irish we're behind this. The lucky charms virus is coming over here. And what is Joe

Biden, Irish. Irish my case. Look, what we have to make is an Italian coalition. The Italians and the Germans, that's never worked. Oh, well, it has worked before. In a very interesting way, it worked before. I love, and again,

I understand this movie's 23 years old, but it is amusing to me, looking back at quaint technology that was like, amazing in, like, when the movie was made. And so it's like, he's got this heavy-duty, high-tech digital camera with a memory card that's got 32 megabytes on it.

And the thing is as big as an iPad. Oh, it's huge. It's as big as, it's as big as binoculars itself. You know what I mean? It's a huge camera. Thomas Edison designed that thing. That camera is big enough to photograph an elephant getting electrocuted to death. By the way, I would have loved that stunt.

You know, maybe Tom Cruise flipping over an elephant in this would be very good. Speaking of flipping, he does crazy flips in this. Like, yeah, flipping a completely up and backwards just to kick some guy while he's already down. He doesn't honestly get in this guy off the street fighter flash kick in the middle of this movie. That is the John Wu stuff because like Ethan Hunt didn't fight like this before and he never fought like this again. There are so many fucking bicycle kicks. Oh man. Jumping through the air double chest kicks.

That's the stuff they should have kept. The close punching stuff like it gets better as movies go on. But, like, this is just so much more fun to watch. Yeah, it's true. Her thing is basically she has to go. She pick pockets Doug Gray Scott to get the memory card, brings it down to Ethan Hunt. Meanwhile, Hugh, whatever, is about,

is following her, but then one of his two, three scenes, Bobby Boyd or whatever the fuck. Billy Baird, Billy Baird breaks, uh, breaks his finger one more time. And he almost, it would be great if you just, if, if you killed this guy thinking he was a, usher, a clumsy usher, that would be

fucking a best. Oh, I'd love it. He just cuts his throat right at the racetrack and that's the end of the character. Ethan, we're down to just me and you on this team, man. Got it, Luther. No problem. We can keep going. I think we can keep going. Billy would want that. I don't think so, John. I've got two more lines left.

Nice try, Mr. Wu. I've got four lines in this movie and I've only spoken two of them. It's in me contract. There is a great, it's so hilarious. It's a detail here where it's like they're looking at you know Luther's looking through the photos that are on the thing and it's showing him

like how the virus attacks the cells in the body and showing a register page's co-worker this guy gradski or something who had the virus and it's like gradsky at 24 hours gradsky at 36 hours whatever all of these photos are like property

of the pharmaceutical company not for public display here's our fucking horrible virus and we're fucking watermarking with our logo. Yeah, not the best idea. No. We're very worried about corporate espionage.

But so she goes, you know, she has this conversation with Tom Cruise, like down, you know, on the ground, like she goes to place a bet and, you know, she gets, Luther does the transfer here. And then so she's going back to put the, the card, you know,

in the envelope back in DeGray Scott's pocket. Uh-oh. She put it in the wrong pocket. And I think what you're supposed to believe here is that when she was trying to do it and put in the pocket, she grazed the nipple with her knuckle, you know. And he was like, ooh, oh, oh, she fucked me. I mean, here's the thing. You don't have to be a genius pickpocket. Just grab this dude's dick.

You won't feel anything else. You can do whatever else you want with his other pocket. Well, she does try to do something similar as a distraction, right? Because when she goes to put in the wrong pocket, she also puts her other hand in his pants. Got it. Yeah. At one point. as like, oh, that's during the

original pick pocket. That was the right move. Yep. And you know what? No one dude is going to be like, you know, she was touching my dick too much at the racetrack. Pull that move again. Just grab that Johnson and get the thing back in the right pocket. It's always the other way. You're not touching my dick enough at

the racetrack. It's always that way. That's how it always ends up. I believe that is my favorite poem by Charles Pukowski. One of my favorites. We're at the race track. And she just wasn't touching my dick enough. Then I went to the OTP and someone there was touching my dick enough. I'm so glad we went to this

reading. I'm so fucking horny. Jesus. Then I threw up in the bathroom. That's what poets should be. Absolutely. Oh, just total fucking train wrecks at all time. Absolutely. So we do get a little more with Gleason as McCloy right here. It's him leaving. the office and just getting driven home in a limo. God, fuck these pharmaceutical people, man.

This is when he gets visited by, he gets gassed, visited by the ghost of Rave Sorbager. Yes, which is hilarious. Car merda. He's like, I am a little tired, but clearly not dead. And I'm like, yeah, Rapeseraja, more of you. Absolutely. There's a weird, I think it's like, you know,

since watching the Martin McDonough movie last year. I was, I guess, focusing in on a little more of it now, but like, so Brendan Gleason, like he's smoking a cigar in this limo and he's trying to roll the window down and they want to show you like, oh, the windows are locked on both sides

and you're seeing Brendan Gleason's sausage fingies just trying to roll this window down and I was like, oh, that was choking donkey right to death, my friend. Those are some donkey choking fingers. Oh, yeah, Donkey couldn't digest it.

Andre the giant couldn't digest those You couldn't beat that thing One time I cut my finger off And fat it to a donkey I think I have that in the collection He's a living legend No one does it as good as O'Man oh wow So yeah

But this is like They're duping the they're You know fool in this dude again To get information about what the motivation here And it's kind of funny because he's like, yes, my name is John C. McCloy, and I'm the CEO of Biosite. And yes, I created that virus. And yes, I created the antidote to make money. Here is my address and social security number.

My name is John C. McCoy. See, my character does have a name. You didn't think he did, but I do. But, and then, like, Tom Cruise is like, I've seen enough. But meanwhile, what's happening is Teddy. Newton is kind of trying to escape the facility where Degre Scott is. And then Tom Cruise, like grabs her. He's like, we're going to be fine.

You're like, oh, it's Tom Cruise. But then Raib Sarbeja takes his mask off. It's Tom Cruise. Uh-oh, it's evil Tom Cruise. And he's like, I just need you to stay here for a little longer. Also, by the way, you're going to have to eat his ass. Yeah, you know, that's, yeah, to be Ethan Hunt. Part of your mission, impossible.

mission is to eat this dude's ass. Because he is straight up like, and by the way, I mean, and by the way, you have to do everything Ambrose tells you. It's like, what? I know he asked for his birthday, your birthday,

your anniversary to eat his ass, and you've always said you weren't into it. But now you've got to be into it. Millions will die. Even if he refuses to wash, you must do it for IMF. That's part of the kink.

It's just, I think this is just, we're badly editing two scenes together to save time and trying to make it look like. It's like tension. Oh, which one's the real Ethan Hunt? Yeah, but it's just, it still plays confused. It does, but I would love more actual tension, you know, like you, that De Palma movie is wall to wall, tense moments. Redible.

And that's why I kind of think it's more important to see this scene with, Tom Doug Gray Scott underneath the Tom Cruise because that I mean for whatever else in the character that is supposed to be

a real heartbreaking moment for this villain and like he's supposed to have a moment of like fury and hurt and stuff it does work like yeah and that's more interesting

to me than this like well here's some plot that you need it yeah it's a ton of plot here's some stuff that we didn't say the funniest line that Brendan Gleason has

when they so they make him think that he has Camara that's the whole thing And it's, it's Ethan as Rachel Bidgen, like, you know, oh, I have that antidote, but, you know, I'm not going to give it to you right away or whatever it is. Fucking Brendan Gleason screams at this dude. I need it now. You whacked out Russian gypsy. Yes.

Fucking great. But so now Ethan Hunt realizes, uh-oh, they never had the virus at all. They've only had the antidote and that's meaningless. So they're going to try and steal the virus. but you know what? We'll destroy the virus before they can get it. And now Doug Ray Scott's like, ah, but Ethan Hunt is going to.

So it's kind of like we know each way. And like this is kind of, you know, like, oh, he's not going to go through the bottom because that's going to be too many guards. He doesn't want to shoot people. He's going to do some aerobatic nonsense. Yes. And this is all really cool because it's like,

you realize it's Hunt going up against the true equal because he knows, like he's not wrong at any step of this. Right. It's the exact plan. Like Golden Eye, you know, like, very much a goldenay. And also this wirework here of jumping down into this facility. Which this is really cool. It's a little computery.

But I did this is some tension with like, we're going to open these vents. And if you open them at night, you only have 40 seconds to close them before the alarm goes off. So, Ethan, you have to jump out of this helicopter. And then Billy Outback has to get the fucking cable up before the 40 seconds or else, you know, I think Luther's got some line like, not even I can get this security alarm off or whatever. And it's cool, but it is a little bit like

remember the last movie? Yeah, that's true. I almost want more of this because just like getting in through the facility is kind of interesting. We kind of get in there and then suddenly he's at the lab. And then the guns come out and it's like, like the John Wu movie takes over right here. But that's and I mean, that's also

just the difference of like De Palma likes showing you the process of him having to vote very low. this is computer digital shit all when he's going down. Oh yeah. Yeah. It's like it's fun at the very end when he has to put himself up. He's dodging the dude in the lab. That's pretty cool. He does some good flips and like that's what I liked it. With Cruz clearly put in the physical work to do some of this stuff. Doing this stuff. So that's what I like. But like, yeah, the tension of that whole scene just kind of gets cut in the middle. And also because when he goes down, Billy Baird from the copter screams,

no rules just right yeah that was a crazy line it was a weird one yeah it took me out of it a little bit but it's funny because you know yeah he has some line

about like oh yeah you know Ethan Hunt would rather sacrifice his own life than harm one hair on a security guard's head and it cuts to like Ambrose and his team comedy and they fucking murder

that security guard like immediately which I think is in your fabled two hour and 40 minute cut because we cut away from killing the security to guard. I want to see this guy, this guy get lit up. I think there was some brains splattered across that desk that you don't see. Absolutely.

Maybe the Matrix had a suit. I don't know. Yeah, that's also, it's, yeah. Oh, wow. Filmed an Australian, a big massacre in the lobby of an office building, A. Yeah. Interesting. It is kind of hilarious. So Ethan's whole thing is, he has to destroy the virus. And he does like, you know, he does like,

he does three, there's three in this area. That's two four more in the other area or whatever it is. There's two places he has to go. Like the incubation chamber where they're making the virus and then for whatever reason we have three loaded needle guns that also have the virus in another part of the lab. He kills,

he does the incubation chamber really easily. Kimera stock terminated. And then it's like, all right, I'll just needle gun one, boom, done. Needle gun two, boom done. Needle gun three. Wait. Oh my God. I'm going to get a plot beacon. Ah. Oh, oh. Flashback. Oh, ah. I'm thinking about stuff that happened

in the movie. No. Just fucking wish a button, you ass. Even when you hear the guns going off. You're like, okay, cool. I have, I have a, I have a will of steel. I'm fucking scaling red rocks without any gun. You can push the button and then forget it. Well, Steve, don't you know? I mean, it's a riding, a theme in the, in the series. It's like, he gets too personal. And he has to, so he got personal with Rates for Baja. They knew each other Yeah. Because I mean, that is like what's, it's so dumb. Because he had the flash fake name base.

Dimitri and Vlad. But, like, his flashback is of, oh, well, you know, my good buddy, Dr. Whatever, must have been standing right here with the, oh, geez, injected himself. He does piece something together right here. It's like, oh, you can't just take it out of the lab or whatever to transport it so it can stay alive to get it to the next location. He must have injected himself with it. Which is the only time you get, because in the first movie, he does.

does the great thing with Voight, where you, the editing tells you, Ethan is figuring it out, you're seeing his thoughts or whatever. This happens like that, but it's like not as well done at all. And it comes way late. It just doesn't work the same way. And you're right. This dude has heard a gun go off before, Steve. Like, he should have just been like, oh, fuck, let me just destroy this and then kill those guys. Yeah, the piece, like, what makes the story work has never been John Wu's like interest. It's how it looks. And this is a pretty fun sequence. It's totally fun. And also on the outside, my favorite shot in this movie. So, like, some dude, you don't even see who because the movie doesn't care, but you probably should care a little bit.

Some mysterious individual, you know, some bad actor puts a bomb underneath Luther's van. Oh, Doug Ray Scott did that? No, it was some other some guy. This guy, you only see his hand. This guy named Ray Doug Scott. He was like, I got to get it on this. But my favorite shot in the movie is Luther looks out the window and he sees the reflection of the bomb timer in the puddle on the ground. Yeah, that's pretty great.

And this is the fastest Ving moves in this whole franchise. Oh, fuck, oh, fuck. He's trying to grab all the computership before the bomb goes off. And there's something important here, which is like there's one computer in the world that knows where Tandy Newton is at all times. And this is the one. And it kind of gets blown up here a little bit. So that's because of a plot device at about 10 minutes. Oh, yes.

But yeah, they dare scare you into thinking that Ving was killed in this movie, which I, fuck that. Don't do that. Fuck that. Don't play around with my heart like that. I love that man. Big shoot out here, Doug Gray Scott's like, yeah, whenever I pretended to be you, the difficult part was gritted like an arsehole every minute. He's nailed. You got me there, Ambrose.

I do like smiling. What's the deal with fucking, what is auditing anyway? One of those cans for, dude. I mean, I tried to fake the funk ones, but I didn't know what the fuck I was talking about. They lost me at Space Lord. Yeah, I'm angry. I'm fucking supposed to be.

I'm a human being. And yes, I see a psychiatrist. Oh, boy. Those are two big negatives. They don't like them people. They hate those people. No, no, no, no. that's why Kirstie Ali never

appeared on Frasier because he played a psychiatrist Yep Oh yeah Real stupid She was a hard liner Oh yeah Big in it

I think Travolta got her involved Wow Yeah it's fucked up So it's also revealed right here Oops Naya's been taken hostage There's a weird He's like

Come on out here You bad girl And I'm like Yeah Yeah It's gross Because again Like this is the great

Cat Bergl's like Now she's just kidnap bait this is this is one of the biggest I'm not trying to onk on through the whole movie here plot hall but there's just one part in the sequence where Ving is just like oh

Ethan look out man for whatever reason Naya just walked into the building because like she also has a tracker on her like Steve said with the computer that he's using can see it and I'm like but why yeah and it's never explained she just rolls up to

to the office building the pharmaceutical building. My assumption was that Doug Gray Scott brought her there. Yeah. But she isn't with him until like because Ving has some line about like she just walked into the building or something. Like I imagine waiting in the car. We're killing people and you have to follow us in

kind of a thing. Sure, but I would like to hear that. I got to see it or hear something man. Because her just showing up like that I'm doing too much, you know, mental black backflips as an audience member here. You know what I mean? Just I mean, I think John Wu's idea of like backstory and all this stuff and like story in general it can be summed up in what Bingram

says he's like well the red dot's about to meet the yellow dot. Yes exactly and that's going to be bad that's going to be a bad situation uh oh yeah but she in another baffling move is like oh wow

if uh you know the the gun with the virus is hanging out over there and he's go get me me virus and she goes and for whatever. Don't eat it. Please don't do that. Because I think Tom Cruise says he's

going to kill you the second. You give it to him. It's like, I know I'll inject myself. Well, because he needs the virus. And as long as her body is alive, the virus is still the live. And it's the last bit of this virus. So it is kind of like it'll keep me alive. But now it also is like

oh, the movie could have ended. But now because you did this, the movie will not end. Because now you have 20 hours until you know you can't be cured and yes we're just going to rip off last of the Mohicans I will find you stay alive yeah that's kind of funny but instead of jumping off a waterfall he just jumps out of a building with a parachute which is fucking rad that's his way but yeah so I you know that that whole scene is probably the best sequence of the movie I mean this end fight is also pretty good but we get to the big rocky cliff compound here at the end also

this is where the Typhoid Mary of Oz, of Oz. Oh, right. Remember. We're in Australia. I don't know if you, you remember this, Ms. Newton, but you're in Australia. I really feel like someone should be wearing a film Australia shirt. Yes. We're kicking it off. Osploitation 2. Slim Australia. Andrew, you're getting towards the climax here with the big fights.

Really good stuff. The motorcycle stuff. I love it. You know what's crazy, though? I seem to remember when this movie came out. I mean, you know, it wasn't super well received. And a lot of people gave the motorcycle sequence shit because of like when they run at each other. And I'm like,

watching it today, I was like, nah. This is awesome. It doesn't make sense, but it's fun. Well, because I think what we've seen especially over the last couple of decades, is like action cinema being more respected as a stylistic art form. Like all the Tony Scott reconsideration came from this thing. so like stuff like this

yes it doesn't make sense but stylistically it's exciting this is very true because like action film was always treated as so much lesser yes I mean I couldn't believe the day we saw we didn't go see it but but total recall playing a film form I never thought we'd come to that consensus

oh yeah baby I mean Paul Verhoeven great great director and stuff but I also feel like even those movies in the 80s and stuff weren't as like you like now I think of Robocop up there with Citizen Kane but it was not the case No, because it was, I mean, it's, it was, everybody was going through this. Like, the slow stuff was what was being like contemplative stuff.

European basic stuff was what people were after. And then what happens, Taiwanese new wave, Scorsese becomes more of a big thing. So fast cutting, fast movement all of a sudden becomes an art form itself and people reconsider everything. And you have like Robocop, there's, in a lot of the better ones, there is a pill in the peanut butter. you know what I mean, which is whether it's capitalist critique that you're not going to get because you want to see a movie called Robocop. You know what I mean? There's two ways to watch a movie called Robocop.

Either that shit ain't in there or that shit really is in there. And you are figuring shit out as you watch it, you know? It was all of a sudden, like, a movie going like jumped a whole leap in visual literacy. And it was like, oh, wait a second, those movies were saying shit. It's the same with Hart. Yeah, yeah. Oh, definitely, definitely. you know, horror is easily

cast out that way. I'm sorry, you're fucking stupid. Har only started to become elevated, I think, in 2015. Oh, right. Hereditary. Hereditary was the first horror movie. It was the first horror movie to ever be about something that is a big, spooky scary. Devil, when the devil rode the elevator,

that's when we got the elevated horror. That's when it started. Going, horror is going up. How is that not part of the fucking ad campaign that's, this summer, horror is going up? I love that the start of this too There's more free climbing here Oh yeah

It's like oh thank God I saw him doing at the beginning Because I would not have believed him doing it Oh no he's a Tommy Sue He is I mean we've talked about a little bit He is kicking the shit out of people And like it's great point of like dude I'm down could you stop kicking me in the ribs Yeah it's not enough for him just to like knock a dude out

With like a round house kick He then has to throw his entire body weight Into a circle into the air And then come down on him land on his ass He's like he's pulling like luchador moves on these guys It's wild

I was unconscious And now I have a crushed lung Okay congratulations I liked it first the better way I gave up And then you need me in the stomach But yeah There's a lot of cool kicking here

Meanwhile Doug Gray Scott has Brendan Gleason He's like listen Because the whole movie There's like 37 million pounds That seems like a light little thing For what we're doing here But no, actually.

She doesn't weigh 36 million pounds. It's the rudest thing I've heard just said. I mean, first of all, that's funny. Second of all,

no, it's not. I know. The British pound. Oh, okay. Yes. But no,

it's also, yes. Actually, I'm 36 million Irish pounds. Oh. Oh, he's not. He's not. He's not.

He's not. He weighs as much as I do. But those fingers will fucking. don't even worry about so they actually get thicker when it gets wet so you know when they're going down like a sponge

you can't help it remember those sponge toys yeah making little dinosaurs and whatnot yeah they were great they also smelled quite a bit very distinct odor so like he's like oh when you give me that those 36 million pounds

I will then invest in the stock market in your company hostile takeover in you and now because of this pandemic I'm about to start a plan I'm sorry plan demic that's right the stock of this corporation will go up and I will be a billionaire and blah blah blah

exactly and meanwhile at this point Naya has been taken to somewhere in Sydney and he's like this girl's gonna launch off and make all these people really fucking sick and there's a really funny John Wu

centric line that happens here. Did anybody catch this? When Ethan is like, oh, you know, Luther, do you have eyes on Naya? And he goes Oh, well, you know, Ethan, he's got her somewhere in Sydney. To which Ethan Hunt responds, somewhere

in Sydney, care to harden the target. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Somewhere in Sydney, yeah. That's the whole movie. Do you want an egg, Ethan? Yeah, hard-boiled. Oh, wow, you're going head-to-head

with that motorcycle, Ethan. Yeah, it's a real face-off. Yeah, and that guy riding it's a real killer. Look out for that guy. Oh, shit, I broke my arrow. It's a broken arrow. Or maybe it will be better tomorrow. It sounds like that breeze is chatting over there, a real wind talker.

Oh, wow, yeah, wind talkers. You'll forget about wind talkers. You certainly will. But not John Wu, who did it all for the paycheck. Oh, excellent. Oh, nobody wants to hear that one. Nobody wants to be reminded. That's a, that's a stay tuned to that.

And a half, dude. Also a fucking unfortunate saw that in theaters. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah. The stupidest Ben Affleck movie before the movie, Hypnotic. Oh, right. You recently watched Hypnotic. Oh, it's so dumb.

Oh, it's so dumb. Anybody even know direct that movie? Robert Rodriguez. Yeah, yeah. Even worse news. Yeah. But so, like, this is happening. Ian, Ethan is kicking his way

to the facility. We got the doves right here, of course. He does say, don't worry about worst case in a scenario, Naya will take care of. Naya, meaning she will kill herself before she's allowed to be a pawn in his game. That's a good way to think, Ethan. Yeah, and I'll take it. Look, you know, we should be putting 100% into this. But if not, she'll kill herself. Don't worry, guys. And keep, you know, just remember. He's at least not wrong, though, because she is contemplating throwing herself off that cliff. She is, and she just written a couple of Victorian novels before this one. She is throwing herself off the moors

into the fucking splashy water below. She was just missing a big weird dress to wear while she tosses herself off. The stakes is high but low high, you know? It's not the highest high. Yes, we get the doves and this is when

it's a John Wu fucking gasm with the you get the dove, then the explosion and the flaming door and the dove goes through the flaming door and here comes Ethan Hunt and you are also seeing it in CGI and Sean Ambrose's eye.

Holy shit, John Wu, relax. Yeah. And you know what's funny is like, this is just par for the course with that dude, but I think so many people that saw Mission Impossible one and were hip to go see another Tom Cruise movie, but maybe weren't as hip to John Wu movies

were like startled by it. Or, you know, I mean, a lot of people made fun of it and whatever. But it's just like, it's just what the dude does. Yeah. You know, it's like if you never saw us, Spike Lee movie and then you saw him do like the double dolly and you're like, what the fuck

is that? And it's like, it's just in every one of his movies. Is Malcolm X floating? Does she have superpowers? Precisely. I wish he did. Yeah, so there's the big fight here with

Ethan and what's this dude? Hugh. Hugh, there it is. We get this big fight with them. Hugh is the European and English version of Hank you know in the North America we got Hank's walking around Hughes are in

obviously Australia Great Britain but yeah Hugh does a raise your hand very slowly and Hunt's like got it uh oh grenade time which is fucking great and this grenade goes off and then

we cut back to the room with Brendan Gleason and in comes Hugh carrying Ethan Hunt and you're like oh something doesn't seem quite right I love this scene. I know it doesn't make a lot of sense. It's kind of funny because, like, Ethan as Hugh is like, oh, I, I broke his jaw. That's why he's not talking. Yeah. Yeah, that'll do. He also broke my kneecap, so I'm seven inches shorter now.

And my clothes fit really differently. He's go for a baggy look. But it's an interesting, do Grey Scott line here where he's like, this is what's known as getting your gun off and just fucking shoots this dude, Hugh. Hey, Hugh, one quick question. If I were to go to a therapist, what would you say?

I mean, that's the one thing I don't understand about any of this is like, once I knew that the mass tech was as it is, I would just be cutting faces just to make sure. Oh, yeah. I'd just be like, okay, this is a big thing. Right, it's like you'll search

him for the gun and then you put a razor across their cheek. Just like a little one right here, maybe in the beard, if you have a beard. Or I think an easy tell, just check for sweat. Because those masks don't have sweat glands in them. Excuse me here. I'm going to have to grab your face. Grab it and see if it rips.

Right. So they shoot the Ethan guy who's actually Hugh. And now Hugh, who is Ethan, is running out of this. Yes. And it's with the, with the. And a don't. Yeah. Sure. But yeah, it's kind of awesome because, you know, A nice bit of writing here pays off Even though the finger thing is cool At the beginning of the movie He Dugray notices the fucked up finger

On quote unquote Ethan Hunt And flips the fuck out And that's when he turns around And it's like Oh wait that dude that was totally behind me Stole shit and then ran out the door That's in front of me and I didn't see it fuck Son of a bitch

Dominic Purcell you get on him Oh yeah dude The camera Keep your mouth shut too by the way The camera is never closer than like 12 feet away this guy. Yeah, he's, you're like, is that? And the answer is yes, but it's just barely. The answer is yes. And also, boy, does it not matter. Yeah, he's got to be Australia. This is my guess. I would wager. But so this is the real serious woo action comes in here. We get this awesome fucking motorcycle chase where, like, all these cars are getting blown up.

I love when they're like, Luther, you got to, Ethan's like, Luther, you got to clear that bridge. And like, these dudes are shooting at him. And Luther fucking missiles this car. And it goes off. the bridge. I did, uh, objection, Ronan, your honor. This is a little too Ronan. And I'm sure before that an action movie had a fucking rocket hit a car off. You know what? You want to make, remake Ronan? I'll, I'll love you to go. Yeah, go for. I don't care. Like, fucking dare you to remake. Please, please be influenced by good art. Oh, yeah. It's a rodent with Tom Holland. Oh, man. That's right. I'm a spy or something. Here I go. Okay. I'm going to pass out now. I gotta pass out now.

What color was the boathouse and Yardley? What color wasn't you said of a bitch? God, I would maybe watch that. Like ironically, because it would be awful. Sure. I mean, I do think it's cool when he does the break and the smoke fogs up

and then he hit by the fucking truck. That is pretty fantastic. That's pretty baller. I mean, I like all the making the motorcycle stop on the front wheel and doing a 180s shooting. Just these wheelies just to show off. Totally.

He's really fucking hot dogging it out there. He is hot dogging it. Is this, this is the first, like, sequence. This is the first one where you have sequences on motorcycles, right? He's not riding a motorcycle in the first one. I don't think so.

I mean, so that's, now that's fucking industry standard. These, you know, got to go on that motorcycle. Yeah. But yeah, you know, all of this is really great. I love, there's two great car accidents that happened here. one is the car that gets rammed by a Mack truck out of nowhere. That's the truck that has Tom Cruise's cousin in it.

That's great. And then there's another one that like they kind of run off the road and it runs into like a parking lot. Yeah. And just slams into a row of parked cars and flips up and like explodes in the air. There's just no substitute for practical car explosions. Vin Diesel, sorry to tell you. That's very true. Then we just end up on a beach.

beach fight beach fight well we joust each other with motorcycles which is absurd right but it's cool as fuck

I get it you drive at each other as fast as possible you both jump off and grab each other midair it's awesome I mean it would be cool

if they're like you want to do what we did in the academy but for real and he's like oh yeah motherfucker that would be a thing

dude like they they reference it like earlier in the script somewhere right he's having one of his other monologues In the big version, they had like a 30-minute flashback of them at the Academy.

Sure. And like it's being, living the same dorm room. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Do it motorcycle hijinks, putting the tie on the door. That means don't come in. Ethan was always trying to study for the big exam, but do Gray Scott was like fucking ladies all the time. She cheated off him on the big test.

Oh, right. Yeah, exactly. Big spy test. Yes. He would get really high marks for doing that because that's part of being a spot. That's true. I was able to get this leaked information. Dude, that's some James T. Kirk shit, man.

Right. Yeah. Doug Gray's guys gets an A-plus and Tom Cruise gets a B-minus for studying. It's like, you should have actually done it the other way around. Why didn't you cheat? But it's a really cool and brutal, 22-minute fight. It's really wild.

We're just beating the living shit out of each other, but this is where we referenced at the beginning of the episode. There's a knife fight that, you know, breaks out here and Tom Cruise insisted on using a real knife for this including the shot where like

Du Grey jumps on him basically and shoves tries to shove the knife like into Ethan's eyeball and we wanted to do this like get the knife shot you know the hand coming right there and like any fucking practical person would be like okay

we're going to start the shot with the knife right by the eyeball and then Du Grey you whip your arm away really fast and then we'll just reverse it in the editing room no no no no no he's making these motherfuckers measure out precisely like this is the you know the length of his arm and this is how high he's going to be sitting on my chest all four i mean the way that it winds up getting cut yeah there's a cable so wouldn't go too far but like he still was like no dougray you got to jack your arm down as hard as possible like i'm sorry man george miliers was doing camera tricks in the fucking

late 1800s. Do one here. It's the biggest waste of like, I could stab this dude in the brain. Oh, you know, actually. And also, uh, sorry, one of my best buddies is Michael Massey, whose life was ruined by the crow. Uh, so I'm not doing this Tom Cruise. Thanks for it. I don't want to live with putting a fucking knife through your eye. Yeah. Well, he's not going to get hard if you don't do it that way. So either you walk or you do it. But, you know, God bless him. He's doing it for real. He's doing it. He's doing it. He is doing it. I mean, hanging onto a plane as it takes off sure jumping from a high altitude thing and a fucking space suit sure all of that i get the practicality

this is a thing that is solved with a very simple camera trick and it's not right look at this way it's not like it's a thing where it's just this wide shot where you see him the whole time bring the knife down blah blah blah it's all heavily edited yeah so you can't even tell so it didn't matter anyway and i guarantee you in the grand tradition of all Mission Impossible movies there was a teamster that was just like wait we can't break for lunch

no because Tom we need to redo it because Tom is going to do it himself we could just do it no hope it fucking kills him I guarantee you in every single movie some teamster we're really in the back it's just like we're not

oh but fuck it you know what dude you want to be a big show oh but fucking kills what's that oh I got to work on a Saturday I hope it fucking kills you to be fair I'm pretty sure Tom Cruise is also thinking that

in his head. I think please do it. I think that is really what he would love to do. He would love to mid-stunt. Die. Die finally meet Shelly Muskevich. I'm coming for you, Shelly. It's the big one. I'm coming, baby. It's the only way to get her back. We have to go up to heaven.

Why is it that every time we make a Mission Impossible movie, Tom Cruise is screaming like red fox and Sanford and son? I have to say, though, the ending of this, as far as, like, villains getting it kind of sucks. It does. It's a double, it's a double deflation because the first time, like, he kicks him off him after the knife thing. And he hits his head on a rock.

And, like, there's this thing where you're like, he must check his pulse. And he's like, oh, he's dead. And he leaves him alone. Because he's laying there, like, with his eyes open. And Ethan's kind of like, he checks it out. Yeah. And he leaves. And then he goes, meanwhile,

Danny Newton comes down in the fucking helicopter. It's like, oh, man, they have the antidote. Here it comes. And then, like, here comes Doug Gray Scott alive again. And he's got a guzzling. You should have killed me. And then it's a cool, like, jump kick thing that he does. I mean, you get a couple good things because you get, like,

Ving gets out of the helicopter to get the antidote. He gets off his ass for once. And he, he's got the great, because, like, Ethan thinks the mission is over with. And, like, Ving is. got a great, like, facial reaction, like, oh, fuck. And Tom tosses him the antidote. And then, yeah, he, like, kicks the gun up in the sand and turns around and does a big John Wu fucking jump in fire.

And it's fine, but, like, in the last movie, a helicopter fell on John Boyd. Yeah. Pretty rad. Yeah. And he just got, like, shot in the chest three times. Like, I at least need a cool head shot. Something. Or I'd need to see him have the virus in him and, like, explode in a contained room.

Like, what's his face getting the green balls shoved in his mouth in the rock? I'm going to took my money out of you. I'm going to gag my money. Yeah, I mean, he did get sexually humiliated pretty intensely. Oh, that's true. I give it that. So, you know, whatever. Luther gives her the antidote for the injection and we get sort of the outro of the movie where Hopkins, this is fucked up where he's like, I believe the mission was for you to bring back the virus alive.

And I'm like, what nasty shit were you playing in Motherlucker? Oh, they figured it out 20 years later. Don't worry about it. But, you know, as promised, Naya, you know, her record is cleared of all charges, yada, yada, yada. And then it's like, Mr. Hunt, what are you up to now? Are you having an old friend for dinner? You know, yeah. That's like eating around, right?

Yes, Eric. And that's what we do. That's the ending. We've got a kissy vacation. It's kind of funny, though, because he's like, yeah, I'm going on vacation. and there was this whole thing about, like, at the beginning, Hopkins was like, you got to tell us where you're going on vacation. And Cruz is like, well, then it wouldn't be a vacation.

This, it's like turned around. He's like, I'll be sure to tell you where I'm going. No, no. Then it wouldn't be a vacation. But it appears as if they're just going on vacation in Sydney. Yeah. I mean, maybe it's the best place of the world. Why would you ever leave?

We wouldn't dare film anywhere else. Yeah. I mean, it's just, dimmed credits. It's kind of weird. Like, go to, you know, a beautiful beach in Australia. There's plenty of them. Like, have that. Make it look a little different.

But it's just this park. And then there's like a crane shot where it comes up and you see like the beautiful opera house and everything. And I'm like, someone in the crowd would be like, isn't that the guy that was murdering people on the beach yesterday? Yeah, he saw me. kicked a gun up and shot some poor man. Yeah, the beach killer. Yeah, he's right there. Get him.

It's the motorcycle marauder that's killing all those people in Triffick. He's killing people in Trifick and trying to steer the guzzoline. The last line of the movies They start making out And he says, let's get lost And then Metallica kicks in Hey, yeah, yeah Very unexpectedly, here I go now

Because, and I mean again, because somebody actually listened to the limb biscuits songs like, oh no And it'll end with it bump up No, did you actually hear it? Did you ever hear that guy sing? No, no, the music is great. The guitar is excellent.

Yeah, but there's another guy. There's another, he's always wearing a red baseball hat When that guy opens his mouth, we got to get this out of the movie. It's the nookie guy. The guy who said the nookie song. Oh, my God.

I thought we just hired the sad clown to jam out there too. You know, Jim Boy, one of the most disgusting developments in all film in the 21st century there was Limp Biscuit getting cut out a mission as possible to. You know, they just had the sad clown play his guitar there. But before the genius mouth of former president, Fred Durst gets open, he starts spitting his awesome rhymes. They just cut it out.

Put in Matatka. It was supposed to be the opening of the rapping president. A new series for AMC. Yeah, okay, Bones. Why don't you check their vitals? Let's get back to doctoring here, please. We got three bleeding Klingons right in front of us. Can we get to that, please?

But that is the end of this movie. We'll go around the horn here. Final thoughts and recommendations. Chris Cabin. Good movie. Not the best of these. I think it's just a matter of probably the two and a half hour version is a version I would like more. I would imagine what is missing is more.

I think there's stuff missing from this. But it works more or less for me as a Mission Impossible movie. All the stunts work. Tom Cruise. I love you, man. I know you're insane. But, you know, that happens. Yeah, I don't, I like all the little things John Wu is trying to do, like, the idea of like a Belal for,

Camara and the Bellelphor was like a tale you people told each other it wasn't written down by so that talks to me about like what Mission Possible was trying to do like here's a version of this

here's a version here's John Wu's version here's Brian De Palma's version here's J.J. Abrams version and I think he does a good enough job here it just didn't it doesn't have what Mission Possible has the first one it just doesn't Steve say that yeah I it's a light

recommend, I wouldn't call it a good movie. It's always kind of just right in the middle and like it's straddling because there's enough fun action here. It is, I mean, I do think really now more than anything, if someone is like, why should I watch Mission Impossible too? I was like, to understand the year 2000. You put this movie on and you will understand exactly everything that was going on from Y2K up until September 10th, that 2001. You're right. That is where we are. That's what this movie is. and it's interesting in that regard but other than that it's sort of like

it's definitely the weakest in the Mission Impossibles for me doesn't have the stuff that I want I still think my favorite my favorite mission impossible is the first one see our Patreon paywold episode on We Love Movies Oh yeah On that guy Yeah I'll just I'll hop in and say

I would recommend all of these movies I'm sure I'll recommend Dead Reckoning Part 1 when I see it next week Yeah you know It is probably my least favorite, but it's my least favorite in a string of, I think, you know, pretty good to incredibly great, you know, action espionage movies. And, you know, check out the filmography of John Wu to sort get it a little more, you know, there's also that. Bullard in the head, fantastic movie. Great movie,

the killer, great movie. You know, also speaking of that Bones McCoy thing, story credit on this movie. Yes. Ronald D. Moore and Brandon Braddon. I saw that's true. Which is kind of weird. The screenplay is credited to Robert Town who did the first one and, you know, China Town and a shit ton of, you know, huge movies. But I thought that was kind of interesting and I'd love to know what's there their contribution, if anything at all.

See, the pinkies like the nose. It's just like that. It's just a little cut. It's just also, because the nose was the penis as well. Oh, yeah, the Robert Town thing. That's right. But final word, Eric Siska. I don't think I'm going to say anything different.

it is my least favorite, but I still like it. I would lightly recommend it or just regular recommend it. You know, if you're watching these, I don't think there's a reason to skip any. No. If you're, if you're going to, I'm going to watch Mission Impossible movies, watch them all. First one is my favorite. And yes, what an excellent episode that is on the Patreon. So, yeah, no, I still enjoy it, but it is the weaker one for me.

So there you go. There you go. And that is going to do it on this episode on John Wu's Mission Impossible, too. Yes, as we mentioned, Patreon. dot com slash we hate movies not only can you get a we love movies episode all about De Palma's Mission Impossible you get a metric fuck ton of exclusive

bonus content you cannot get anywhere else so head on over there a bunch of different tiers bunch of different shows check it all out Patreon.com slash we hate movies now here on the main feed as we say the summer blockbuster extravaganza continues Steve

with what motion picture next week we are going back to sappy Teenville with American Pie Part 2 And we're going to be joined by our good friend Angelica Jade Bastien. That's right. So a big week here on We Hate Movies coming up. It's going to be a lot of fun. We did American Pie 1 last summer. So that's kind of a new thing going

through the franchise in the summer blockbuster extravagance. I'll say this is one I've not seen in a long time because I saw it in the theaters and disliked it immensely. Oh, well, we got to catch up for American Pie Dead Reckoning. Part one. Part one. exactly. So until next week where we're going on summer vacation with a bunch of real creepy dudes, I've been Andrew Jupin. Stephen Seda. Eric Siskel. Chris Cabin. Take it easy. That was a hate-gum podcast.