We Hate Movies - S13 Ep688: Twins (Live in Los Angeles)

Episode Date: August 1, 2023

Recorded 5.22.23 at the world-famous Hollywood Improv in Los Angeles, CA On the first Summer Break episode of the season, the guys are live in Los Angeles tackling the outrageous Ivan Reitman comedy, Twins! Why is it that Arnold’s character knows a ton of science-related facts, but has no idea what a phone or seatbelt is? Did they really have to go that hard on Danny in the screenplay? And what is with that Fast & Furious-esque third act? PLUS: The guys wear flammable shirts live on stage! Twins stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito, Kelly Preston, Chloe Webb, Bonnie Bartlett, David Caruso, Tony Jay, Nehemiah Persoff, Maury Chaykin, and Trey Wilson as Beetroot McKinley; directed by Ivan Reitman. Want more WHM? Join our Patreon fam today and instantly unlock hours and hours of exclusive bonus content, starting as low as $2 a month! We’ll be releasing new Patreon content all throughout August, so it’s the perfect time to join! Be sure to get in early and get your tickets for the WHM Holiday Extravaganza where we’re talking The Santa Clause! Check out the WHM Merch Store featuring new Skeleton Juice, Spring Tour 2023, KONG & DILF Den designs! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/whm and get on your way to being your best self. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

POMAYOR. I don't know what I'm going to be. I don't know. I don't know. And... ...whoe... ...when... ...withan...

...and... ...to... ...the... ...the... ...you know... ...the... ...and... ...or...

...and... ...the... Well, here we are the summer vacation, the slew of lie-up episodes, so we can just get out of the studio and get some sanity back into our brains. Get to the beach, get these binoculars out, try to see some twins. out there. Oh, yeah. All sorts of twins. It's twins. Yes, this is our live episode recorded what was this, last June. Yes. Right? No, May.

Last May. In Los Angeles, California, the beautiful Hollywood improv. It was a fucking great show, great room, great stuff. It is, I think, my favorite room to play in the country. Yes. And we had a total blast talking about this really weird A weird movie in which Angelic Simpleton Arnold Schwarzenegger meets fuck beast

Danny DeVito his long lost brother I'm hot the whole time Arnold That couch creature coming out for you Dude this character's got like a larger head count than some porn stars out there

He has taken some ladies to bed And I want to say Just close your eyes and imagine us all In twins shirts because that's what we did That was a lot of fun It was like I think the line is literally called like Vincent Ware

or something like that You can buy these shirts I kept mine I think a couple of you dudes threw them out In the green room At the club Yeah that's in the garbage

That was their problem I guess I took it home Because as someone pointed out recently A lot of the shirts That I've bought for like Our virtual live show Bad T-shirt competitions I'm just wearing

And it is just I am Patty and Selma, dude. That line, like, it started out as a Halloween costume and then worked his way into the regular rotation. I mean, I had to keep the shirt. How many times do you own a piece of, you know, casual wear like that that is labeled extremely flammable? I don't get that often.

You need to like that. Totally, man. If the shirt brusles up against your nipples too hard, a fucking fire is going to... Walk outside in a summer day in Newark City, just open flame right there. Can't fire on your tit, dude, absolutely. Somebody can take a picture of you? Oh, that's a Pink Floyd album coming.

there you go. Get that one. That's all done. But here we are, gang, live at the beautiful Highland Improv talking about Ivan Reitman's Twins. Enjoy. Enjoy. And now I know it's because you're part of me.

Wasn't my choice. It was meant to be. We were connected even with. We got together Now the real part of star If one is good If one is good Then two is better

Oh boy Oh boy are incredibly affordable. Just as an FYI. It's really cheap. I just, I'm thankful that we're no longer smoking in clubs because these things are gonna go up like that.

Watch the lamps, because they really could just do it. I mean, any minute now. You wear these shirts when you want to go protest global warming in D.C., you know what I'm saying? Some of you knew what I was saying.

Oh, man. Los Angeles, what is happening? Hello everybody So I'm going to try to Try to move back a little bit there As fantastic as my ass is Y'all don't want that Oh my goodness

It has been a minute Since we've been to this fair city And it's great to be back Thanks so much for coming out y'all This is very, very cool How many of y'all saw is the last time we were here? A couple folks There you go.

Repeat customers. I love it. Repeat customers. That is right. That's what you're going for every time. Any first timers here, seen us for the first time? Yeah.

Ooh. Oh, okay. I like that. Well, first I'd like just to get to know you. Yes. Who is your daddy and what does he do? No, wrong movie. Oh, shit.

Wrong movie. Second rightment. That's the second rightment. And I can understand how it's confusing because the one we're going to talk about tonight, Twins, is the first of two high concept. movies that these guys did together that both revolve around juggling semen in one

way. Yep, yep, yep, yeah. That's it. Not like a jester, but you know what I mean. How does that happen? Because this was such a hit. They were like, go back to the well of semen? Yes. Yeah, yeah. Go back to the fluid well, get us another comedy. And in between them, right, was kindergarten cop, I guess that was the one that didn't

fall into the mold. There's not as much semen in that one. No. Well, they already made all the kids at that point. There's high concept, and then there's a fuel injection heist that happens in the third act of this movie that is just sort of like, huh. Yeah. And it was just like

he's the big guy and you're the small. No, okay, that's fine too. Yeah. It's like, you know, buddy comedy, buddy comedy, road movie thing that Dominic Toreto should be handling. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, you want to see where you can do this? Yeah. All right, let's give it a whirl here. My name is Andrew Jupin. I'm Chris Cabin.

Eric Siska. Stephen Seda. And we are Wee Hey Movies from New York City. Oh, mercy. Yeah, we are here to talk about twins from 1988, directed by the late great Ivan Reitman. First of all, I wanted to sort of cast this out. Anybody here a twin? Yes.

Really? Okay. Oh, and you're right here? You're so fucked. Identical or just twin? Yeah, well, it's a twin sister, so I'd be kind of weird. Okay. Of course.

But do you psychically know what she's doing? right now. No. Oh, really? So, like, if, like, we see in this movie, like, if she spilled coffee on her hand, you wouldn't be like, oh.

No. Can you, if you were in New Mexico trying to find her, could you sniff her out? Yeah. Could you walk down the street like a dog and find her? No, no, see, he's just a regular twin. What a God's twins.

Not an abomination. That's true. Oh, right. So, Ronald Schwarzenegger is a living nightmare that was raised on the island of Dr. Moreau. Is that how that world? Yeah, there is the other side of the beach from all the cat people and whatnot. It's also kind of a red flag

when a German scientist goes to a tropical location. Nope. So many people had to say yes to slide that shit through. And you know somebody noticed it. Somebody was like, oh, I just, ooh, ah, but I don't want to say, ooh, ah. And then the movie came out of me.

It was like, oh, the basic premise is, six guys went into a cup, a science cup, I guess it's a beaker. It's a cup for science. A beaker, a beaker. It's not like a solo cup. You're not playing beer pong. No, no, no, no. Although cinema has put semen in those cups before. That's American pie.

Cinema has graced us with a lot of great things. So you put six guys come into a beaker, and then you put into the large hydron collider. And somehow, you slam them all together into one sperm that emanates this woman. Because I keep saying they have six fathers. Yes. Do you remember in the fly, David Kronberst, the fly, they take out a large maggot from Gina Davis in a dream sequence. That is what this thing has got to look like.

By the end of all this shit, because the machine looks like it's jerking off anyway when you see it. It could just walk on in. Yeah, yeah. We also never hear what the mother's deal is. It's not like, oh, I needed the money, or it was an art project, or I believe in American superiority or anything. Like, she's got that whole spiel

towards the end kind of about like, oh, and my paintings were popular for a while and I made money. Is that bullshit? Is it like the experiment was the money? I think so. Yeah. I think someone over there agreed.

I heard a yeah. How many landscapes do you really need, you know? That's true. I wanted to ask some other stuff twin-related really quickly. So you noticed we came out to that fantastic twins theme song. which is Little Richard and some other guy.

Nice. Philip something. And it's your classic, like, movie, music video where it's like they're performing the song, standing in, you know, a convertible that's open, and Arnold and Danny are sort of off to the side, and that was an afternoon. But the lyrics to this shit.

So just really quickly. Twins, United Outside and In. Yeah. So I think that speaks to, like, the psychic thing a little more, right? And whatever general, like, diseases they might carry together, you know, genetic stuff. Right, you know.

That's true. That's true. Bad kidneys within. Propensity for alcoholism about now. Now, what happened to you, hey, I could feel it. I smile and cry without knowing why. More psychic shit. So you're saying the psychic shit is no good. Absolutely not.

None of that. This is so disappointing. None of that. None of that. And your twin is as female. Is there any Lannister stuff Is that? Oh, all right. You know what? I don't know. We're going to move on.

That's what the TV told me. We're getting the red light already. I had no idea. So that's a no, I guess. All right, I'm going to try one more. Write that down. Because I got like three more, but I'm only trying one more. When you're twins, which you supposedly are,

the magic just never ends. Is that true? There it is. There is. It's one. They got one right. So the song wasn't totally full of shit. No.

Okay. That's fine. But yeah, so it's like, you know, we see this whole like opening montage. And already you're like, well, that's a lot. Like, how about if they were just regular twins and like, oh, wow, we had an Italian mother and an Austrian father and who would have fucking guessed it? I mean, I don't know. Well, because then it's not funny.

Then they're not, you know, turning it on its head. Yeah. I'm not sure, though. I think it's nice to set this right on an island right near Argentina. right near Argentina or Brazil. Who knows? He's a boy from Brazil. A man?

A man. He's a man. He's 35 years old when we meet him, which means that he was created in 53. Have eight years to relocate? Seven, eight years to relocate. Not bad. Plenty of time to move, dude.

He has six fathers. One was a Nobel Prize winner. One was a football player. And what is just known as Mr. X? it in a funny little mustache. I gotta say, this whole thing's kind of weird from the jump because you get like the photo.

There's like the file photo of the people doing this experiment and you get all the dudes lined up, you know? No one under like 57. Yeah, yeah. It's all just really old. There's like the one guy that looks like Jack La Lane like he's pulling a boat with his teeth.

I feel like that's because they wanted two of those guys to come back for like are in the movie. you should have them all be kids like really young people but if they're young you know that those swim faster i think so you need them all around the same age so it's like you know so no one gets ahead while you smash them all together to make the super cut yes there's a sperm version of the monster from the relic is really what it is in there oh ew just a bunch of shit maxed together and we're just we're told this over like a montage of like it's arnold's birthday we literally see them blow out can't candles, which is really nice. Oh, that's kind of perfect, right? It's like, this, do you think it's the thing

where, like, the dude has told them, like, all right, on your 35th, that's what I'm going to give you the straight dope. And just every birthday, it's like, finally, three, five, let's do it. It's really, yeah, 35 is a long time to wait. Like, maybe in your 20s, you know, you don't want to, like, upset somebody when they're a teenager.

Sure. I guess you're just waiting for the, like, the heat to die down. Because this guy's hiding out. Yeah, so when you're 35, you could run for president and find out if you were a judge. Well, this guy's not running for president. I mean, not of the United States anyway. You could lose your virginity at 35.

You can. He could be a governorator, though. He could end up being that one day. That's true. That could happen. I love, so, like, yeah, he learns from Tony Jay. He immediately is going to go off and, like, he's saying goodbye. I need to know what his sleeping quarters is like.

Similarly, Island of Dr. Moreau, like, is like his falcon man, like his roommate kind of a thing. Yeah, like they're sleeping in the barn. and it's like Falcon Man, Leopard Lady, you know? I will miss you most of all, leopard lady. You are so sweet to me. Turtle Teddy, you've just been gross, man. I won't miss you at all. Oh, Eddie the eel, we've been so close.

You taught me how to swim. Ew, half man, half eel. That's a stretch. That's disgusting. Wiggle the ass down there. Isn't it weird lion buddy that I'm the weirdest one of us all? I am the most implausible.

but because you have one father and one mother and some lion's shit goes on. Me, six dads. We definitely needed more time on the island of freaks and seeing all these abominations because you know that guy was getting up into crazier shit. Exactly. They don't just stop, dude.

They never just stop. They never stop. Dad, who father, who owns this island? Well, it's a German consortium of political. political members is what it is and they're just very, very generous. They're asylum seekers right now, yeah. Refugees.

We meet Danny DeVito. We sure do. He's just, he's just ejaculated. By the way. You know, I didn't. He's just, like, seconds before he's introduced into this movie, he's had an orgasm. This is kind of like a family comedy, right?

Yes. And it's really raunchy. At least that's what part of the movie's telling you. You got Danny DeVito fucking everyone in sight and you actually do see the beaker. You see the beaker. It's full of it.

It gets a little, it gets like a this, kind of like a good bourbon. It does a little of that, which I thought was unnecessary. I used to like bourbon. Tony Jay's just doing it and they's like, see bourbon you have on the rocks

and that you get your rocks off. Sure, sure, sure, sure. You're still thirsty for bourbon, Steve, or what? No, I'm good. I think that like the whole thing. I think that, like, the whole Danny DeVito Lethario stuff comes from, like, I have a right. I'm just like, look, I don't know if you're going to read this whole screenplay. It's really rough on you.

Like, a lot of the jokes are exactly at your expense. How you look, how disgusting you are. But what if women in this movie find you unbelievably attracted? Well, okay, I guess. Because he's, like, having sex with some lady. Oh, no. Her husband's home. Oh, yeah, totally.

Dude, if you come home to Danny DeVito fucking your wife, and not to be rude. I like how you're saying this movie's so mean to him, and now you're like, could you have a bad fucking little freak in there? He's not here. That's fair. Unless. It could be.

I don't know. But, I mean, you know, you got to be like, all right. Come on. It has to be the selling point because 10 to 15% of this screenplay is just dialogue directed at him about, how he's a mistake, he's disgusting. Yeah, sure. I can't even look at you without wanting to puke says that one scientist.

This scientist is basically like, yeah, then Arnold was born, and then the placenta had eyes and a nose. Yes. And we decided to bring it up a little bit. And then immediately give it to an orphanage. Immediately. And the guy who tells him that, by the way, is the guy who voices Papa Mouskowitz from

an American tale. So you have possibly one of the sweetest fucking animated characters of all time be like, you're garbage. Every time you look in the mirror, you should see garbage. Well, his line, I think, is specifically like, oh yeah, you're all the crap that was left over, and that's what you look

at in the mirror every day. And I'm like, hey, Ivan cut real quick. Like, it's hour for, like, we're in the second hour of this movie. We got it already, right? Like, he's really good-looking guy. I'm not, like, do we need to go that far? It's like phrenology

for sperm. It's like, If it breaks, you know, the... I don't know how this all works, but... Sure. Oh, is that right? I'm glad you preface this, all right. Okay, kids, listen, up. Biology is tied.

Sperm goes into the egg. And then all the good stuff goes a little to the left. And then all the bad attributes, like the gambling addiction and stuff, goes to the left. That's how biology works. That's how it all works, Eric. Yeah, he, like, leaves...

You know, he's like just... He's a shit heel, essentially. it's the ponytails, my question. What do we feel about the ponytail, ladies and gentlemen? The Danny DeVito. All right, I like it in the back. I like it in the back. So, is there, there's a twin here?

Is there any ponytails here? No one's going to admit to that. No. I'll throw away all these questions. It's the bald ponytail, and then, like, sometimes when he unfurls it, he looks like a wrestler, like, at the end of a match. Dude, it is like, if macho man Randy Savage

had like a gimmick where he was paired with like a little person. Yes, exactly. Because it's just the curly hair and he's got the horseshoes so it all works out. It's kind of great. It's a ponytail that says that guy will steal your car. Which he does like four to five times

in this movie very easily. It's his profession. It's his career. His career is, well I mean I guess he's a journeyman of sorts. He's a swindler. He's a swindler. I guess he manages wrestlers. That's just a dude, no. He rented that office, and that was like on the door from the last guy.

And it was just like, yeah, I'll keep it. That sounds respectable. They were my favorite clients. Give me $500, please. The last guy killed himself in the office before, too. Yep, yeah. So it's a cheap office. It's haunted.

He didn't have to change the sign out. I mean, why does he even need an office, right? Like, I mean, selling patio furniture. He's taking boxes of socks around town. He is trying to sell a box of socks at one point. That's rough. That's kind of a rough. scene, but I think it's because he's at, like, you know, maybe this business does generate

money, but then on the other side of it, he owes 20 large to, like, the vague mafia that's in this movie. The Mickey Mouse Mafia, which is honestly insulting. We came from New York. We're a pro-Mafia show. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. All every day. Look, they're just trying to, you know, raise their families and protect the community. Exactly. Disgusting. I mean, come on. Mori Chakin is actually the hero of this movie. if you look at it the correct way. He's just trying to get his money back.

Danny DeVito scammed him. And DeVito has this scam going on with David Caruso who's in this movie for four minutes as like, oh, you'll leave your car at L.A.X or the airport, whichever airport it is, it's probably L.A.X. You know, leave it there. And he'll be like, hey, there's a new hot car

on, like, level P2 that's going to be here for a week. Come steal it. That you should do, like, once in your career as that guy. he's doing it every three days there's no cars left I would be if I'm David Caruso I'm like you know De Niro after the Lafonsa heist

I'm just like no you can't have another car we gotta let this shit settle down man you're not slamming against the wall daddy yeah daddy you marvelous motherfuckers because the supervisor is like oh on every shift this month

a high profile car has been stolen that you worked and oddly I remember when you switched with Terry and that still happened is this the nicest

I know we're already talking about how big of a scumbag is but it might be the nicest character David Caruso's ever played on screen that's true I mean he's just stealing cars I mean he's not even stealing him

he's just opening the gate Danny's doing the rest when he gets shot in King of New York you're like fucking finally somebody he got him. It's a long time coming for that character.

Yeah, he's stealing cars and what have you. And meanwhile, Arnold is... He rose a boat to an airport. He rose a boat to the airport. It has to have his own, the land from the island that he's from in the boat for him to be a... Oh, right, much like Dracula. Like a vampire, yes.

Got it, got it, yeah. And then he's on the plane doing the yak-di-y-y-y-k. No one told to me about an inside voice. And he's like, oh, what is popular music? That's the thing. This movie does not make a decision whether or not, like, he's this homeschooled genius or, like, he's a caveman. Yes. Because there's one part, like, later on where, like, a car alarm goes off, and he knows enough about car alarm technology.

Where he's like, oh, you lift the car up, and if it's above a 45-degree angle, the thing shuts off. And then, like, later, like, seconds later in the movie, he's like, what is a scene? which is so like I don't how does that if you know the mercury from the car alarm computers what are you even talking about with that on an airplane wearing a seat belt yes also true also true like Tony Jay your your weird scientist father never had headphones no I think Tony Jay just really hated Ralph Nader yeah he was just like no That doesn't exist. I'm never going to tell them about seatbelts.

Don't worry, that's an accurate Tony Jay impression. If you knew Tony Jay is, you'd be fucking dying. Well, actually, the funny thing is... Some people are meant to go through the windshield, okay? There is... In the yakety-y-y-y-y-ach scene, which I will call the yak-de-y-y-ach scene... Take out the papers and the trash. Or you don't get no spending cash.

Yackety-Dak! Don't talk back. Clint Eastwood, like, visit. visited the set that day. That's right. And watched Arnold Schwarzenegger go yack and he's like that guy's got it. He's like, that's it.

I didn't know you were so talented. You're as talented as Clyde. You sing better than my ape friend. Now, just tell me, do you shit in cop cars too? Fantastic. You're going to be cast in a little movie called Unforgiven.

Right turn, Arnold. this movie's going to gross a billion dollars because he even did the like he went up to Arnold and was like you're a great performer and I wonder though because like he never cast him in anything

no no no he's just like where is he going to go and you are certainly now a million dollar baby wow where did that stool come from yeah he could have been the guy that set the stool there

Is that my daughter in there? Okay, listen to me really quickly. There might be a bomb in Sedali Park. I do not know. I, Richard Jewel, am getting railroaded by the American media. Yeah, I just don't know what would fit. I don't know where he would fit, dude. I don't think it would work in Richard Joel.

I don't think he's eating that donut at the end. I think he said, no, I won't do it. No. So he got all the way through that script. that was like, I don't know about the donut consumption. I'm sorry, Clint, I can't do it. That's too much to ask of me. I think Clint probably left the set and was like,

I was just joking. Are you fucking kidding? Well, maybe it's good. He's not going to be in the movie then. Yeah, so he gets to Los Angeles. And yes, like we said, using magic and his sense of smell finds Danny DeVito essentially.

Pretty much. He just kind of walks around Los Angeles. Angeles until he finds him. Well, he goes to the orphanage. That's right. And he can smell that Danny is slept on a single bed 20 years ago. Because it's the one I would have chosen. Because I could save all the kids

you understand. But of course, Danny Dumas, saved the kids. He almost burned the place down according to the mother. Also, this, the mother's superior here. Mrs. Chote from Seinfeldon's grandmother. She is, she's talking about

Vincent. She's like, oh, he was also garbage. I'll add on to this. He's also garbage, yes, to me as well. When a nun is talking shit about you, that's rough. It's like this character, the Blues Brothers. Someone on this stage hasn't been to Catholic school, I'll

tell you that much. And someone has. No, you know what, dude? I only went to Catholic Church and it was fucking miserable enough. So you can answer this for me then, Steve. So if you were to, hypothetically, a 12 years old, were to fuck one of your teachers.

You're non. Be molested. Be molested. Be molested by. But that's not the way the movie positions it. Like that's my point. Would you feel okay

being blamed for that? No. I mean, it's weird. It's a sexual abuse thing and it's like it's played like every man's fantasy. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, it's like at 12

he had sex with his nun and she was defrocked because he's such a weird little pervert. And the movie stops and it's like, nice, nice. Yeah. Yeah. It comes up later, too, because, like, you know, of course,

the big scene, you know, it's revealed that he's a virgin or whatever, and he's, Arnold asks, you know, Danny about his first time, and he's like, oh, you don't want to hear about that. It was, I was 12 years old, and she was a nun. I didn't know anything about it. I just crawled right up in there. Oh, no. No.

I wriggled. Wriggled. Man, what, it was an absolute open season on Catholic kids, huh? For both. sides of the aisle. And that's not great. No, it's not.

Just take a second. She was defrocked and kicked out of the church. These other guys are like... Oh, yeah. Just move around a little bit. Put him over there. You get a promotion. You're now a bishop.

Congratulations. She says, like, oh, that little pervert or whatever, he's probably in jail, which, ironically enough, he is in jail. because he never pays parking tickets. Oh, right. He starts talking shit to a cop. He mouths off about getting the car towed and he gets arrested.

When he was trying to sell the socks, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's right. He's very offended that, nope. Somebody in the shop that he goes to has clearly said something about you being garbage as well because he's like, you don't have to say that. I'm just trying to sell some socks here.

And they do have a brief moment where they're both scratching their ass outside the premiere of Willow, I guess. Oh, right. Willow's premiering at Groundbans. That was kind of a... I cannot believe they removed it from Disney Plus. I didn't even finish all eight episodes.

And that happened to me. Oh, you didn't get to finish the season? I didn't finish it. I guess maybe that speaks to the quality. I don't know. I do love what DeVito gets arrested. The cop still puts his head on his hand on his head to make sure he doesn't hit the cop.

He was never going to hit that fucking time. No. Like it was just touching DeVito skull for a second. It's like if I bet you $50 that you could do a slam dunk. There's just no fucking way. You just made 50 bucks, my friend. But yeah, so he's in jail and Arnold goes to bail him out

which is a great, like, what does he do there? Taxi driver take me to jail. No understanding of where he could be at all. He should have threw a brick through a window instead, right? Oh, so then he also gets arrested? Oh, and then they're in there together.

Think about the shenanigans in jail. Oh, yeah. Oh, now it's a prison drama for It wouldn't involve an experimental engine, so maybe I'm into it, dude. The experimental engine, I don't know. I like corporate espionage fun enough, I guess. Yeah, sure. It's, they don't do anything with it. You need to have, like, a motive for that, right?

Like, like, oh, because what's, Trey Wilson plays the, yeah, beat root? Beat root Johnson or whatever the fuck this dude's name is. I mean, if you hear that. If he was like, I'm going to sell it to the Chinese or so, you know, some type of intrigue of some kind. Yeah, I mean, but he's. Beat Root Johnson. Was this dude a fraggle? Did I miss something?

I miss? Was there a frackle in the film? Hey, man, you're supposed to be like twins or something, man. One's smaller than the other one. Danny DeVito could go hang out with the dozers. Oh, no, we're eating all this. The fraggals are eating all that crystalline building material. Jop.

Jocers are building us a tunnel to Houston. Get that dog out. Get her away from me. It's going to eat me. No, if it's like any casting trends or like how they treat them in this movie, you'd play fucking Marjorie. the trash eap.

Right, yes. She was probably a twin. You know, the bad half. Yes. And, you know, he's bailing him out and he, DeVito, like, doesn't believe, obviously, that they're twins at first. And, like, it takes a while

for him to get there, which is the movie, you kind of want that to be a little quicker. It's like, I'm there. Yeah. I'm there from rental acceptance. Yeah. So, like, get the character there a little faster. Well, because you saw them in the great shirts. That's true. The part.

You know what's going on. You know what this movie is about almost entirely when you go in. Well, because now that Danny, I mean, like they meet, and of course he doesn't know how to use the phone in the... That's again what I'm talking about. Is he fucking time traveling from 1776?

Pick up the fucking phone! You've got to have a couple books. Some books do talk about prison. I hate to tell you this. But he bales him out, and he's basically scamming Arnold for money. I guess he's got unlimited island money. Yeah, dude, I wonder where they got that from.

They changed a couple of gold bars, if you know what I'm saying? They're technically in Franks, but... Yeah, just scratch off that funny-looking cross. He winds up... They're like, you know, they're going around, and this is when Danny DeVito gets a shit kicked out of him. which I love. Certainly does, dude. They go back to his office right here and there's some like

furniture getting repossessed as happens in these kinds of movies. And then this is like the Mickey Mouse Mafia comes in and there's a couple of hit men here. One of them was one of the dudes in No Mam, Al Bundy's guy. The first round is just one guy. Oh, okay. Oh, that's right. One guy who throws him through the very nicely

painted door he's got there. He spent all the money on that, I'm pretty sure. I'll tell you right now, Danny DeVito flying through a window that's in a door like that. It's kind of great stunt work. It looks awesome. Here's the thing. It's that scene

and there's the scene in L.A. Confidential when Russell Crow really pushes the screws. Yep, yep. This is a nice intro to that. It's pretty funny. I mean,

I'm not a good person. It's a comedy. So is L.A. Confidential, right? Yes. I mean, it's amazing because in L.A. Confidentially he does say, we're pals, right? And this one, he doesn't.

In this one, he's like, yeah, you're just going to kill me. Okay. Arnold comes in. Does a Vulcan. neck pinch for some reason. Yeah, you got to license that or what, you think? I then immediately asked the guy, like,

where he says the guy he's not behaving logically. Yeah, he's like, oh, I don't like people that don't have any respect for logic. And I was like, you are getting sued. Like, be very careful all you're dancing around this, man. It was supposed to be, you know, Nimoy and Walter Koenig, I think,

originally. Right. We are twins. I am so short. And I am so tall. how unlogical but it is we missed of course the big shove off that Arnold Schwarzenegger does to Sylvester Stallone

in one of the most wonderful little moments where he sees the the poster a big poster for Rambo 3 which is the one where he helps the muajah din and he's saying he compares muscles and he's like I could have helped the muajaddin

I would have killed Russia I would have slaughtered them. I could have trained Osama bin Laden so much better. Dude, do you think it was a thing where, like, in advance of the movie coming out, it was like, Sly, yeah, it's me, Arnold. Yeah, just saying, maybe you should come see the preview screening of twins we're doing. No reason. Oh, Sly, look, I just gave it to you on screen. It's amazing, right? Yeah, it's great, man. I'm super thrilled they left the house to be humiliated. public. That's phenomenal, man. That's great.

I made fun of your pathetic muscles. Look how small they are. It just stops. If you could even believe that this wasn't a movie for three seconds, it's like, no, it's a fucking movie. That's an actor, that's an actor. Don't forget about it. Now, Sly, I want to introduce you to one of a screen writers. He has a fantastic project called Don't Stop or My Mom Will Shoots. You're gonna love it. I was going to do it. I'm really thinking about it.

No, no, no, no, no. Don't get me going. No, I'm thinking about doing it. I love is still getting. He's fantastic. You guys know that, right? He tricks Sylvester Stallone doing that movie.

That's great. So he beats up this dude and now Arnold and Daddy are kind of on the same side. I like how you fight, Arnold. And I like how you fuck. Look at you. God, the Stannama.

Perhaps we could teach each other things. What if? You're twins, right? Like we're talking about, you know, genetic material swishing from one to the other. What if everything on Arnold was enormous? Mm-hmm. Except.

Yeah. And everything on Danny DeVito was small. Right. Except. Oh. So he's got like a pogo stick. Yeah, exactly. I got a big Austrian cock.

I can't believe it. I have to get my pants. pants cut long, just a, just a ship. Tammy, help me. But we meet their love interests. One is Chloe Webb, is Danny DeVito's kind of on again, off again, girlfriend. Linder.

Linder. Yeah, it's Linder, please. Linder, and Kelly Preston, RIP, as the other love interest. Marnie, who just got out of a long relationship with Sean Connery. Nice. That's for the six people that have seen that Albert Hitchcock movie.

Thank you. Congratulations on getting that reference. Thank you. The movie shows restraint by making them not twins, right? They're not twins. They're just siblings. I'm sure they weren't probably in previous draft. But also the idea of like dating sisters is always fucking weird.

That's a thing in film and like television, dude. I don't know that that's. Anyone getting excited for that? Like, oh, my brother's dating the city? Like, no, right? See, it's weird. Does someone woo? was there a woo?

If so, was it a serious woo? Now you're embarrassed either way, so all right. It does. It might make it easier if you want to do a joint wedding. If you're one of those people, if you're looking or not to doing it. You're saying, yeah, exactly. Get everybody together anyway.

Oh, yeah, everybody's going to be there. So just, you know, do it. Whatever. Split it right up. He meets... Is this at the grocery store? Yeah, Arnold meets... This is after the crazy driving sequence where he doesn't know what a fucking...

He learns, and he's also like the short-circuit. robot where he can read a book real fast. Yeah, it's like he asked Danny for the manual to the car and he's like skimming it, like data from Star Trek. I need input. I need input. Danny's like, I need input too. I need to input it into hair. Wow, we are brothers. We both need input. Did you say input it in her hair? No, into her.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, I see. Into her. Got it. So they're at a grocery store. If you want to spray, go for it. So they're at a grocery store. Sure. Okay. Smoking cigarettes. Smoking in a grocery store. Good Lord.

It's another world. Hey, these mango's any good or what? Yeah, no, that potato salad looks fine. That's a beautiful child you have there. Do you like fruit loops? Listen, you grew up in the 80s. You knew what it was like, going to McDonald's people just smoking. I mean, I'm having a hamburger.

The good old days. One way to put it. You know, the best part about that, though, is if you go on eBay, you can buy those glorious amber ashtrays that McDonald's has. Oh, nice. If you want to spend $60 on a McDonald's ashtray. They somehow give you cancer faster. It's just touching it, dude.

The half-light. on those fuckers, you know? The mailman's in a hazmat suit, like, here's this. Here it is, sir. Oh, we're delivering another McDonald's assprife. Just a huge trench of them

and they push dirt over it with the bulldozer. They also, so Arnold is in this grocery store. Everyone's smoking cigarettes. But there's pornography in the grocery store? The best damn grocery store in town. Oh, there's very

interesting things about twins in here. Oh, my goodness. Wait, what? Damnie, do they expect us to do that? Also, like, no plastic wrap, no paper bag over the pornography. Just loose grocery store pornography. That was a serious, woo. That was a serious, woo. That person was like,

fucking finally, I don't have to cut the plastic wrap off. Get to my pornography, my printed pornography faster. Sorry, it's on. my grocery list I've got half a pound of London broil, milk, eggs, cigarettes, Hustler magazine, cake mix.

Honey, there's just no way we ran out of pornography already. We just bought that two weeks ago. We weren't through it. I'm sorry. We're going to need some more. Okay, all right. I tried the hustler last time. I'm going to get us club this time because it's a little more cheap. Club? What happened in that was?

Oh yeah Oh yeah So it involves I imagine a very large Dildo type of object Right? A Dildo type of object By the way

Captain there's a dildo type of object Off the port back And may I say Oh my You could fuck a club Like the handle of it No I think a club

Like you go to a club Oh yeah No not like Benadetta No not like that Not like my favorite movie of the other year Marnie Benadetta, cum jokes.

We're all doing great. Listen, I mean, it's the material. I mean, we thought this was a wholesome movie for you, folks. And it turns out it's really gross. I did. I watched this an unreasonable amount of times as a young child. Stunning. Oh, yeah, just a lot.

It was bad. I mean, I wanted to beat Danny DeVito. Also a surprise. You're like two feet taller than them. I mean, I tried. The ponytail didn't work. Yeah, I watch this a lot, too. It was bad for me.

But, like, so they, you know, She's attracted to him. He's very attracted to her. So kind of like where like maybe go on a double twin date. A little bit of a meet cute. And you know that they might be meant to be together when like he turns around still looking at the pornography, mind you, and bumps into her and the pornography goes flying. Yeah.

And she doesn't run away and disgust. Like he makes up this thing like, oh, I didn't know they looked like that in these magazines. And she goes, she literally says, what were you born on a secluded island? And he's like, oh, do I have? a story to tell you. It's a 1998 Arnold Schwarzenegger. He could be reading a magazine that says how to steal from a woman's checking account.

She's like, say. Okay, well, why don't you just tell me about the flight over from Rio? How was that? Huh? Was that nice? Can I catch? You know, then Danny takes Arnold home. He makes the most

disgusting microwave eggplant parmesan. It is awful. I mean, you know, eggplant parm, it's a very delicate thing. Take out from the grocery store that you then microwave with like half a pound of the... Which also smells like Benson and Hedges now, by the way. Absolutely, yes, absolutely. Real tobacco smell. And you're going to put it in the microwave, and you dump like a half a pound of that disgusting

craft parmesan cheese on it. Real government-issue shit. And this is teaching him how to, like, make it good? Yeah. Oh, it's awful. I don't know that needs a little more sawdust on it. Oh, it looks like a brick. That's the way you want it.

You want it to look like a cold brick. Dude, then you see this disgusting little piece of palm here, and it's bad prop department stuff. It looks like jelly. I don't know what's going on. It's real bad. Like a gelatinous square kind of a thing. We get a couple of time jumps towards the end of the movie.

It would be amazing, and one of them, Arnold is just fat because he's been hanging out with Danny DeVito for some. He doesn't go to the gym anymore. He's eating eggplant parm all the time, drink of beer. Well, where's the deleted scene where they get horrendous diarrhea from this grocery store

eggplant barn? Danny, what is happening to my eyes? Yeah, that's actually true, man. He's not used to this disgusting preservative lace food. I have to call my friend the Tuttleman.

Gentleman, you are right. It's terrible here. I'm popping one of you right now. I've tried these things called Doritos. I'm never coming back, Turtle Man. So, you know, Arnold sort of puts out here like, hey, maybe we should go try to find our other fathers, our five fathers or whatever. And this is the first

time, of several times in this movie, that you have to hear sperm milkshake. Yep. Because Danny says, oh, you want to find the guys who contributed to our sperm milkshake. And he's acting it out going like, uh, ah, ah, ah, at the table. Yeah, it's disgusting. It's disgusting. And, I mean, like, also, like, me as a movie goer, I'm like, well, that's a fine plot for this movie. like 40 minutes in

and it's like, no, it sort of might be kind of almost. Well, there's still a science angle too. Yeah, so it's educational. And you can't forget about the mafia. You can't forget about the corporate espionage. Which are unrelated by the way. No, separate things. The mafia is after Dave DeVito.

The corporate espionage people are after both of them. And we get, this is the scene where, of course, David Caruso lets in two guys in Hawaiian shirts who have this big thing in their trunk. that does something. Yep.

And it's very important. Does something. Great point. That's all we're told is it does something and it's going to make this dude a millionaire. And he really,

really wants it. And so David Crusoe, of course, is like, oh man, great car. Okay. Danny DeVito, scumbag friend of the century.

Get over here right now and get this car out of my shit right now. I want $500 on my face. And I will lose my job. And he does, they steal the car. So now that that,

like it's kind of a, the wrong. scenario a little bit. Instead of a briefcase, it's a car from a parking garage. Sure. That also may have a briefcase in it, I don't remember. And basically Danny calls

somebody from the thing and the guy's like, hey listen, calls Beatroot McClintock, whatever the fuck this guy's name is. The B-Rootie part is right. Oh, Beat Rout McKinley. There it is. Damn close. Yeah, that's a name. That's a name you have when you assassinate a president. There's no doubt

about it. There's no doubt about it. And, what are you, a Zappa? A dweasel Zappa all of a sudden? I don't know. Nothing like, well, did Wiesel Zappa?

Nothing. No, it sounds like a, you know, like a Russian chef or something, you know, beetroot. Oh, that's actually true. That's a good one, Eric. He offers him $5 million to go.

He offers him $5 million to go to Houston. That's important. Not a lot of borsht in this town, huh? All right. You got that gelatinous parmesan, though, right? Go ahead.

Yeah. What were you saying there you see? No, he just, now the idea is it's a road movie because we're going to go to Houston but at the same time Arnold is like hey he goes to see this like Jack La Lane motherfucker

He jogs to this dude's house Somehow an address is given And it's like go here This is where your mother Oh it's I think Mrs. Chote gives the address And so Arnold jogs to this house And like you don't know where it is

Or how far away it is Other than he's just pouring sweat He's jogging in these Chuck Taylor's Which like enjoy the fucking Planner fascii is Arnold. Good Lord. There's no support. He's a fucking 300-pound man jogging in those sneakers. I'm pretty

sure he's had the same wardrobe on for three days now. That, that is a lot of smell going on around him right now. It's probably pretty fun-contacular. But it's from an island of turtle people. It doesn't matter. Sure. To him, but to everyone else around him, he smells like a petting zoo. All right?

The turtle people, never mind it. Leopard lady liked it. They actually liked, they loved it. They would son on me. The turtle men would come and lay on me. They would nuzzle me and smell me more. You people are stuck up. No, it's my turtle men friends, you know

Raphael, Donatello, Leonardo. They're all from ooze. They're all from ooze. Yes, they are. It's true. And, you know, this guy's like, yeah, your mother might live... The scientist is in Santa Fe or some bullshit, right? That's what it is. Yeah. He gives them

the scientist's address, which is Papa Mouskowitz dude. And It's kind of awesome because this dude, yeah, he's a big, like, Jack-Lillane-looking guy, so he's, like, older, but, like, Arnold's height and really jacked, and he sees this dude coming down in his driveway, and it's like, oh, fuck. Here, the day I've dreaded for 35 years is here. The chickens coming home to roost. This gigantic man is about to ask me all sorts of questions

about the cum experiment I was part of. And right in front of poor Jason Reitman, the little tiny Jason Reitman right there. Oh, playing basketball. Yeah, totally. Hi. My dad said you're full of crap. Oh, right. His famous line and Ghostbusters, too.

Exactly. You're full of crap. You should have said that to Danny DeVito. Made of crap. But Danny doesn't want to take him, but he winds up wanting to do so. This is also Arnold takes a shower after all of this.

Still reprise of yak-a-y-y-yak and Clint Eastwood's laughing somewhere. Oh, I only saw him do it the one time. But he reprises that brilliance again. That is probably how Clint Eastwood laughs, right? Huh, oh, this is my laugh of the year. I was 40 years young when that song first premiered back in 1959. Then someone's like, well, I didn't think Clint thought it was funny at all.

No, that was hilarious. He said laugh twice. That's the most he's ever laughed, is saying it twice. That kid's got it. But he, you know, Kelly Preston runs into him on the shower. She's like, say, that's kind of that thing. Yeah, pretty nice. So we're all going to drive together, like, the Irishman,

the four of us in a car, in a Cadillac. Yeah, I would prefer it if you did not smoke in the car. Okay, I have to leave for a little bit and get the flights. Nope, paint a house. But, Danny, Jimmy Hoffa is my friend. Why does the car smell like fish? Listen, Arnold, it's $5 million to have Jimmy and Hoffa. I think DeVita was in Hoffa.

He was. He was. Parallel paths. Oh, yeah. Parallel paths, indeed. But they're driving and, you know, this is what the score starts going fucking nuts. Dude, so this movie is peppered very inappropriately with what we like to call Fat Guy John Candy.

music. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Which, I mean, if you hear it, you get it, you know. It's like, it's not quite blues, but it's not quite children's music. Yeah. But it's fun as fuck. Yeah.

Like, if you hear it, you know you're having a good time. You don't know why. Yep. You know, it's kind of like, well, you know, that song, if anyone was in here at the start of our playlist, The Ghostbusters. Yeah, it's. Let me tell you story about little. down on the piano's fucking going ape shit that's fat guy giant candy music and this movie

which has a lot going on that's that's a spice that you didn't need in the chili it is a song only good for like a pizza delivery guy who's like five minutes away from losing all of his money if he doesn't deliver that is what it's for honestly i don't mind that i mind the like sentimental piano oh the treakly one the doodoo do yeah oh my lord it's like wait a minute A tiny little piano riff? This is my favorite comedy of all time. I'm going to use that. My Grand Tarino.

My Grand Tarino, my Grand Tarino, my Granterino. I love this. What do the kids call it? Fat Guy John Candy music? Excellent stuff. Meanwhile, Marshall Bell is moving through this movie like a Cohen Brothers agent of death. Just like kill.

people, and I'm like, what the fuck is that? Like, it doesn't make any... Like, he kills, like, the two guys that hire him, like, kind of violently, and then like, he goes to raid Danny DeVito's apartment, and then, like, shoots everyone of the... And the mafia, so... Two subplots meet each other, and I couldn't

believe it was going to happen. It's like, yeah, oh, you got to watch it there, that movie's going to collide with that movie, oh my God. Someone called the Tower, these two movies are going to collide! And this actor, what, Marshall Bell? Marshall Marshalls. You might remember him as Quato, the body of Quato. That's right.

Also, and then my favorite is in Stand By Me. The wrong kid died. Oh, yes. Oh, right, he's a shithead dad in that movie? Oh, yeah. He played it to great effect. Incredible actor. But, yeah, he shoots the mafia dudes in the leg

because, like, he doesn't want anyone to know his face, but he kind of respects the mafia a little bit, rightfully. Yeah, it's like, oh, they're also hired killers. Yeah. You know. It's important, though, that they're not. Expects game is the idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They get shot, like, in the shins. And you're, you're seeing these dudes' legs just blow out. It's important to remember that because later in the movie, when they just accidentally change that two, you got shot in the foot, and they're walking around on crutches, absolutely not. No, not happening. Absolutely. I saw that

guy's fucking leg explode, like, the beginning of saving private ride. These dudes are done for the summer. You know what I mean? Yep. Yep. Those collections will have to wait. Dude, my mafia summer is over. Unless you want to do the collection. from a wheelchair. Then you can do it.

Yeah. Yeah, that's not very threatening. No, I don't think so. You get a lot of like, what are you going to do about it? Yeah, for sure. I could shift. That's what I can.

It's real degrading work. Wheel. Unless you get a lot of gadgets on there, that might be cool. Hey, that's not bad, yeah. I can see that. You get a gun, just flip up. Oh, yeah, exactly.

I think FDR had that. Just in case, the war got hot. We're now just describing the Professor X super wheelchair. Okay. Man, but I mean, come on, dude, if you could cruise around in that, you know you would be

doing it. Well, Professor X had guns on that shit? In certain iterations. In the cartoon one, like the big yellow one. I mean, there's like cup holders all over the place. TVVCR guns. In the cartoon one, it was probably Lasars, right? Oh, yeah. They love bleep blooping in that

cartoon. That's true. Of course, the toilet right underneath them. Oh, you need it, dude. You need it. You need it. So we're driving around and Arnold is like kind of holding on to the outside of the car. And then Kelly Press is like, say, touches his knee, and

his muscle rips through his shirt? It is. Incredible Hulk? This signifies him getting a heart on him. Yes, yes. Kids movie, yeah. Fun family entertainment. It's really unexpected, and this shirt totally goes, and then it cuts to them, like, at a

gas station, and he's just like, sorry about your shirt. He's not really sorry about it. And this is, they think he gets in, like, a just a regular, degular, like, Bad to the Bone kind of T-shirt. Born to be bad.

Oh, that's what it is. And they're like laughing their tits off at him. It's like, it's baby's first t-shirt. Bad to the Bone was his other movie. Yes. We do play that in The Terminator, that's right. But the next movement is basically let's, we go

to the science facility. Because 55 minutes into this movie, it turns into a road trip situation. A bit too late in the day to be hitting the road. And this is when that scientist throws up when he sees Danny DeVito. And it's like, all right, we can tone that down.

It's like, we just forgot to take out the garbage. And that's what you are. I kind of have to hand to this guy because you see Arnold Schwarzenegger comes, kicks in your door. Yes. And then you can tell that he has some protective, you know, feelings for this little Danny DeVito that's right next to him. To this little Danny DeVito.

Okay. Just checking. All this, and then even with all that, you're like, this piece of shit shouldn't exist. You're the afterbirth. But now, like, you know, what is the point of this government experiment? Great question. Arnold is bad. I understand Tony J. is the German scientist,

absconded with him. Sure. To the tropics. But, like, shouldn't he be trying to, like, get him back in the Super Soldier? What the fuck was this for? For the Super Soldier. I think they just want Superman now.

I don't think they want Super Soldiers anymore. you didn't have laser eyes, so we just said whatever, goodbye. You can't make things levitate with your mind in the garbage. Drown it! You know what it could be, actually, if there was like a prequel, or not a prequel, a prolog, right, you know, at the start of everything

where you see, like, Tony Jay escaping with the baby. Yeah, sure. And maybe, like, the original facility is, like, coming down for some reason. Or maybe keep super science out of it. Mm. All so a possibility. Other idea. We just wanted to know if you could combine six sperm

into one and then impregnate a lady. End of experiment, goodbye. Let's say that's done and we'll never do it again for some reason and whatever. Because even, Papa Mouskowitz even says he's like, oh, we've had this door lock for 35 years. Really? So there wasn't another experiment that needed the real estate?

And what? What were all? Home gym? I don't know. Or a smokers' lounge, you know. Well, that'd be nice. Didn't they get what they wanted? Like, did they really shut it down just because a mother died in childbirth? A thing that happened. She didn't even.

She didn't. She didn't. Exactly. But why would you stop it? Why? I don't know. I don't know why you would lie about that. I don't know why you would lie and tell her that the baby died.

None of it makes sense. They should have brought those scientists back for the junior movie, right? Yes. Oh, we're up to our old tricks. Right, because that was another vicious comic experiment. Uh-huh. They, but he does. tell him the location of their

mother. So we're going to go, but before we go, we're going to have a Randy night on the town. And this is when Danny gives Arnold a makeover. They wear these fantastic shirts. Arnold went to wherever the fuck New Mexico to get these. We went to Dan Flashes.

By the way, we all have twins and they're much better than us. Yes, yes. There's a podcast across the street with four Arnold Schwarzenegger looking to. And they're all real. A, it's much funnier. And B, man, do they look good.

Yeah. They're not talking about movies, though. It's like fitness routines. Yeah, yeah. We all love gyms. And, you know... That's another good gym. That one is also good.

Gold's gym. Oh, yeah, good gym. Good gym. Solid gym, solid, solid stuff. The Santa Monica Planet Fitness. Honestly, not that good. Not that good. The bathroom always smells

and I say something at the desk every time and they never do anything about it. I'm always setting off the lunk alarm. You know, they say it's the judgment-free zone but I feel judged every time the lunk alarm goes off. It's not my fault I had super sperm. It's not your fault.

So, yeah, like he's teaching him how to dance and how to woo a lady. I'm sure. It's like, when I want to get him really hot, I do the waltz. So we teach Arnold how to waltz in this movie. To go to a country bar, country western bar. We're going to make it really classy, you understand. The first time we're going to make it classy.

We're going to a bar called Daddy's Girl. Yeah, it is. You know, and so rarely do you see a neon sign with like a splayed lady, and they go through the effort of putting nipples on the light. Yeah. That's what we're talking about with this bar. Attention to detail. Craftsmanship.

Primo. Primo neon signage. And I'm like, yeah, that's fine. And they're like doing country line dance. And like a lot of ass grabbing happened in here. Oh, dude. Real cartoonish, like, handfuls of ass. And I'm just like kind of watching the movie.

That Jeff Beck is on guitar. I'm like, pardon me? That was a real surprise. It was a bit on. Bit on. Do some from blow by blow. Come on, Jeff. Yeah, they're not paying for that.

No, no, not one. And this is when the mafia shows up. There's Arnold, Svenl Thurson shows up as well. Absolutely, it's one of the mafia cousin guys or something. Good old Svenol, man. Love him. That must have, I mean, it must have given quite the shake to the Schwarzenegger camp, though. Oh.

Hey, Arnold, yeah, it's Jesse. Yeah, Jesse Ventura. Yeah, why wasn't I in that movie? Did you come? Yep, just saying, man, I saw the poster and probably a lot of difficulties. in casting. It's called twins, but one guy's real small. He kind of looks like the guy from taxis.

I mean, I'm just saying, me and you, I got the shoehorn ball just like that guy does. If this is because I agreed to be, oh my God, where's my Jesse? You gotta get it back. You're going to have to keep it simple. That's how it is. That's how you're going to do it. You're going to have to keep it simple.

Listen, I was just in demolition man because I thought we were renovating a condo. I didn't know I was in a sloth. movie. Yeah, I thought it was something for HGTV, man. That was bad on me. Yeah, but I saw a bald guy

in the first five minutes of your twins movie, Arnold. I could have been that. He looked like Daddy Warbucks. I could have been that guy. Oh, there is one of the, one of the Cumbum guys. Definitely looks like Daddy Warbucks from Annie. I could have been your father, Arnold. I like the idea of Jesse the Body Ventura

not understanding what comedy is and just being like... Well, that's not... I don't understand. Those guys look so different. I mean, it's kind of weird, you know, like the title and the poster's telling me one thing, but this casting flub is embarrassing. You know, if you wanted a bald guy, I was right there. You know, you get...

I buy this ticket to this Ghostbusters picture, you see, and here I'm expecting a bunch of tough guys about to bust some ghosts, but they're all fucking Chicago comedians. And they're quite bumbling. I was expected to be scared out of my wits. You know, and I'm just going to say, I don't know what the hell a caddy shack is, but it's a movie about golf.

I thought it was going to be about a haunted shack. I've got documents on those. Those are going to be nature horror. The golfer was going to eat them all. You know what? I'm not all right, buddy. You do got to worry about me, all right, tough guy.

How about that? Why don't you get back in that hole and shut up? You think you're so great with your animatronic arms shimmying in the hole? You're fucking garbage. Well, yeah, of course I eat the Babe Ruth.

Why don't you eat the Babe Ruth? Well, Brum, we eat the Babe Ruth? Perfectly fine candy bar in the pool. He, uh, but you know, we're like, uh, I don't know. I'm off. I'm gone, dude. Okay, we're at the bar. Yes, thank you.

Thorson shows up. Yeah. The Biggie Mouse, my office. his in these foot guard like just go to bed, go home heal up. You couldn't find two other heavies. They did and they brought them all. Why

bring these guys? Well, you know I was counting on that work weekend trip and just because I hurt my foot doesn't mean I should be excluded. And Mori Chakin is putting a snub-nosed pistol next to Kelly Preston's heart and the reaction from Harold Schwarzeneriger is like

that wasn't logical. He literally goes, yeah you're not you're not going to do it. I'm calling your bluff asshole. Go ahead, shoot the girl. I just met that bimbo, okay? See if I give a shit. She already caught me looking at pornography

in the grocery store. She's just like, I'm so attracted to this guy. He doesn't care if I live or die. And he just openly reads pornography in the grocery store. That's world-class necking right there. You know what I mean? That's an alpha right there.

Absolutely. But he, he, especially. batches these dudes in the face and then does a good clunk headbut with two people. And like this bar that was just besieged by four gunmen, like literal dudes with guns. Just

applaud and go back to the best. You know, they're like they dance around their bodies. Which is something I always wanted to do. Yeah, for sure. But this is a joke for like the bar that the Blues Brothers play, like the country western bar where like that's the reaction. This is like Jeff Beck and

this lady singing this kind of like smoothish sort of rock tune they would be phased is what I'm saying they would just be a scotch phased by what's going on here not dancing around dead bodies I hope they're dead I don't know yeah I think that's kind of the last you hear

of the mafia right so possibly that's fair so that there's one plot line ended we're a check mark oh no we haven't gone to the corporate espionage that's going to take a little longer daddy we got to get to Houston we are wanted man in New Mexico triple homicide. First, we've got to have sex.

We're doing it, man. It's going to happen. Oh, is it ever? And it's without a beaker. What do you know about that? Danny DeVito's like, I'm going to go into, you know, Linder's room, and we're going to have sex and like, you just stay here and listen to Arnold.

Now, there's, you know. What's that song he's singing? Like, it's going to be your time, bro. You're going to be a good night, bro. It's going to be a good night, bro. Yeah. It's going to be a good night, bro. They could not.

hire a fucking songwriter for Danny DeVito. So Danny DeVito is just saying Goodnight Bro in different octaves. They should have brought in Chris Christopherson to whip something up for him. A nice ballad there, a road ballad. The movie's about what? All right, chicken shit.

All right. You're a gentle country song about it. You're going to have a good night, bro. Gonna have a good night, bro. Basically what I was doing. Music, music and performance by Chris Christopherson. Lyrics improvised by Danny DeVito. You got to make sure the credits right.

They don't look alike at all. Wait a second. Wait a second. They look mismatched. Hang on, you brought me to write a song for a film called Twins, but I saw her that poster. They ain't no twins. They might be wearing the same outfit and what have you,

but they ain't no twins. You know, that's what I was saying. Finally, someone gets it over here. The weird Danny line, by the way. The weird Danny line, when he's going to, like, go off, you know, for the rest of the evening, he's like, yeah, I got to go read Linder, a bedtime story. And I'm like, mm. Again, that's fucking weird.

Especially also to do that when you're significantly older than your girlfriend. Just leave that one alone. And Kelly Preston shows up. She's like, yeah, I got kicked out of the other room. Mind if I sleep in here tonight? He's like, seriously? I will sleep on the floor while my batteries reactivate.

And what is this? He's always sleeping on the floor. He was raised like a barnyard animal on that island. I think so, dude. He's got fed hay and stuff. Yeah, he's in the barn with all the pig people and the horse people. And the turtles, yeah.

And the turtle people. They don't have beds. They don't even have hay. But she like sleeps in the bed. She gets into this bed. There's one shot. And there's no other way to put it. She is presenting.

She is like, there's no other way to say it. There is it. We talked about it for 25 minutes backstage. Yes. That's the best we came up with. Because that's what's happening. All right? And he's like, well, that's interesting.

Good night. You know, it's going to be very difficult for you to sleep with your ass up in the air like that. Could you and your ass and legs keep it down? I'm trying to read. She's doing the thing where she's like, you know, she's doing the thing where she's like, you know, making up excuses to get down on the floor with him. And so one of her things is like, oh, the mattress is lumpy. But there's a really bad, like, ADR recording where it doesn't sound like Kelly Pressett at all.

Do you catch this? No. Sounds exactly like Catherine Hepburn. Oh, really? It's like, it's the camera's like on Arnold and he's got like the pillow over his head or whatever, trying to like just get Bonertown to go away. And you just hear like, oh, my goodness, this mattress is too. Lumpy. I was like

Where in the Philadelphia story did that shit come from? I'd love to be on the floor. Let's get on the floor. My goodness, you're massive. It's like three, three caragrants together.

Now, I don't understand. I saw the poster for the movie and it's called twins, but you're tall and he's garbage. So we, thankfully, there is no actual sex scene. It's like a quick cut. Thankfully, okay.

I mean, you know. Might want to see it. What are you under 23 and complaining on the internet about sex scenes? Fair point. Fair point. Get fucking. That's what I say. I mean, it would be a bit odd in the middle of this family comedy.

Dude, family com, come on now. What I'm realizing now is it's not a family comedy. I just had a bad family. Oh, okay. Yeah. Dude, no movie that within the first four minutes someone's got a sniffer a seaman. Can you qualify as a family film?

My mom and dad's like, yeah, keep going, yeah, no. Get closer to the TV. Do you know what they're doing right now? You're going to learn something, boy. You get your nose up to that screen and you learn. I don't, I agree a little bit. I don't think there should have been a sex scene, but there should have been a scene where he finishes,

catches it in his hand. No, me. Runs next door to be like, Danny, we have to mix it. That's how they do it, right? We have to mix. You know, at the beginning of that, I was like, I was like, oh, Chris is going to go, oh, no, this is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard. Dude, you know when it's like you're walking down the stairs at night, you know,

and you got the lights off and you're like, that's the last step. And then you step thinking it's the floor. And it's another fucking step. That's what just happened. I was like, this is going great. Another step. Nope, come, come mixing. What are we talking about you?

It's my family heritage. This is how you do it, right? No, but the gag that you could do is it goes over to Chloe and Danny, right? And they're in the room and it's like, I wonder how Arnold's doing over there. And then you just hear like cling on screams. Oh yeah, or like the entire wall is shaking. Yeah, totally. Like a painting goes flying off the wall.

No, I mean, he's a 35-year-old virgin. It's 31 seconds. And, oh, Jesus Christ! Shaisa! Managotin'emel. And she's like, I'm going to go to the bathroom. Daddy! Through the wall?

Daddy, I need a flask. Give me a flask. Yeah, I'm going to go see what the showerhead situations like in the bathroom. Chris, Chris, was the flask to save the sea? Of course, yes. What else are you going to put it? You have problems with the hand stuff. I got problems with both of it.

How about that? That's fair. I got no problem with nothing. They go the next day. They're in great spirits because everyone had sex. Absolutely. And there's now like Polly family that they've accidentally started. A little bit of polycule, yeah.

Yeah, they drive to this compound where the mother is supposed to be, this artist's company. Whispering pines, dude. Whispering pines. Whispering pines. And like, she's just a weird thing. liar. I don't understand what the scene's about. That's accurate. It was a top

secret government program, right? Oh, did she think that if she said yes or were going to assassinate me? There was just men from the government. Yes, okay, got it. That first guy they meet at the gate might be her handler. He might just be there to watch over her. That's true. They break in. They have to jump over this wall into this

painting commune. That is really good security. That's surprised me. Excellent security. And this is Bonnie Bartlett as Marianne Benedict and she's no stranger to playing mothers of garbage people she played

fucking Tim the Toolman's Taylor mother on a five episodes of Home Improvement Oh, oh, oh that's a dude who was created in a jerk off experiment no doubt about it Well, though they made a jerk off

in the experiment. Right, yeah, yeah. At least that experiment had a goal. It did. We want to make a jerk off, but she's like doing this Obi-Wan Kenobi routine she's like oh your mother died quite some time ago

oh Mary Ann Benedict that's a name I haven't heard in a long time at the end of the movie she's like from a certain point of view what I told you was correct so they're devastated because she does tell them that their mother's dead and Danny DeVito is like really upset he's so upset he leaves everyone

else on the side of the fucking road? Dude, he pulls a reverse five easy pieces. Yes. He takes the car but still leaves him all with the truck stop. Because at the very least, the lady in five easy pieces could drive home. That's right. Karen Black, I think. I believe so.

That sounds right. But, so, yeah, like he just, and he goes, I don't know what I was doing. I got this, there's this whole other movie I should have been in. I get $5 million. I'm going to check in on the corporate espionage or whatever. Okay, so the come

thing has ended. That storyline has ended. So now we start the espionage. Get back to it. It's just so half-assed and rushed and then we get like Arnold walking around, I guess. This is supposed to be Texas. Yeah, Houston. He's like, again, he's

just following his nose to where Danny DeVito might be. I smell my twin. I smell him. That never happened, seriously? Not once. And like, close vicinity. Like, where is she in the house? No sense of presence at all

Like she's upstairs Nothing? I can't believe the movie Twins lied to us this bad It's fucking ridiculous I can't believe you volunteered that information dude You're a huge mistake Maybe the mad science thing gave them powers right Yeah I think that's probably what it is

They're like super twins Original title Super Twins Yeah we were a baby genius I wore glasses as a baby and talked It was crazy They made a movie about John Voigt played my father But meanwhile

Danny DeVito does just drop this car off At a parking garage He gets $5 million Oh that's right He meets Beatroot In person Beatroot and other guy Beatroot McKeanley and Celery Johnson That's right

His bodyguard, Celery Johnson, yes. And the deal goes great, but then they're murdered because, again, the fucking movie Twins has a higher body cut on a Friday the 13th movie. Not too far. Not too far. Check against some of them. I think I might be right.

By the way, a marquee for Friday the 13th, Part 7, the new blood in the background of this movie at one point. Oh, that's right. That's what we call foreshadowing. I see. Man, and what a time to be alive. You know, you go, Willow out, Friday the 13th, 7th. the new blood.

Excellent. We got a return. It's at least six or seven dead. David Caruso gets murdered off screen. Yeah. I need the sound effect of that. You know what I mean? Like, what's a difference at that point?

You're not getting rated R. Some tourist finds his body like curled up in it. It's an easy shot, everybody. It is. So, this is kind of the last gasp. Arnold just knows where Danny is. He sniffed them out.

You know, and then this, it sort of turns into the most it's ever in Arnold movie. Guns are going off and people are dodging them. That's about as close as it gets. We're kind of running around a factory that could be a refinery of some kind. It could be a Terminator factory, absolutely. There's one more twin.

I order you not to go. I order you not to go. I need a vacation. Yeah. That line works in both movies, actually, so that... I cannot see. self-twin, you're going to have to do.

Hey, speaking to which, we're talking... Called to Kelly Preston now. Dude, we're talking Terminator. That little HBO first look thing that we played there, so this is 1988. T2 Judgment Day is not out yet, and this commercial is like, don't worry, Terminator

fans, your favorite heroes sticking to action. I was like, did you fucking see the movie announcer guy? He's not the hero in that Terminator movie. There are plenty of people that grew up thinking he was the hero in that movie, I'm loving SkyNet, right? Look, it just, you know what?

It doesn't mean you have to produce an inaccurate behind the scenes featurette just because people are stupid. Well, they remind you midway through that he is the terminator because, of course, he gets an I'll be back. Of course he does do and I'll be back. Talk to Papa Moskowitz.

Yet again, I'm like, oh shit, am I watching a movie? Nope, nope, I'm definitely watching a movie. Okay, got it. You know, Ivan, I read all 97 pages of this script. Not one, I'll be back. Listen, you have to do, I'll be back and then mention Conan the Barbarian and of course,

the Planet Alleywoods I might be opening. And I'm also just really confused on page one. This guy, Danny DeVito does not look like me at all. Like not even a little bit. Are you keeping the title twins? It doesn't make any sense, Ivan. I didn't notice until my friend pointed it out but now it's actually bothering me.

Yeah, did you tell him? Did you tell him about the flub and the script? phone right now Jesse I want the phone with him right now because I don't want you being embarrassed doing this movie that guy looks nothing like you and they're calling it twins I know it's really confused it's getting me it's taking me out of the whole thing I mean look I'm just saying buddy you put a movie out called the Terminator you're the Terminator front and center no fucking confusion there I'm starting to think that sly is trying to get me back with this one look commando right there again

you're the you're the titular commando he was supposed to be suburban commander did you read that no what he almost stole an acting role from Terry Belay this is this is IMDB trivia

which might be fan fiction but yes I read this too there were two things with the title this was originally this would have helped Jesse Ventura it was supposed to be called brothers at first

but do you know why they couldn't call it because it might have gotten mixed up with another movie that was being made at the time that was at the time that was at the time called Brothers. It turned out to be a movie called Dead Ringers. Yeah. Oh.

If anybody knows that one, so Danny, we are both surgeons now. And yes, he was they had been in talks to do Suburban Commando and then Hulk Hogan would have done twins. With Christopher Lloyd is what they said. Oh man, now, so now what if Amazon rebooted

the Twins franchise with Rachel Weiss? And one, it's just regular Rachel Weiss. And they the other one, she's like standing on her knees the whole time with shoes. And she's got like a little bolt spot. Or, oh, maybe it's Rachel Weiss and like Rhea Perlman.

Oh, even better. There you go. Maybe she's available. She's awesome. She knows comedy. So like, basically Marshall Bell just kind of like in an action figure commercial. Somebody presses a button and a bunch of shit falls on him. Well, Danny DeVito murders him.

Yeah, okay. Because it's like he pulls a lever and like one ton of chains falls on this guy. And as a kid, this was the one thing I always remembered about the movie. I was like, oh, the movie with the chains kill, that poor man. Phenomenal picture. Well, he goes out like Wiley Coyote, man.

It's horrible. No, Leslie Nielsen should be doing this. This should be from the files of police squad. And he should just be like, oh, I can't turn off the chain thing. Okay. Oh, boy. So he's dead. Yes, he is.

Now we got all the money. we got the $5 million and we were talked into giving it back or do we? And then we get on the cover of USA Today that says like Twins solve engine problem maybe. Everyone reading the newspaper is like

that's got to be a type What the fuck? Look at these guys. Twin. I mean, you know what, honey? Get me the number of the newspaper. They're going to have to issue a correction here. Look at these guys.

Twins parentheses question mark. It's a weird headline. And the mother is just like, oh, my word, those two boys weren't assassins after all. And she stops off. This lady's so full of herself that it's like, they must be coming for my money or to kill me. Nobody knows who you are, lady. Nobody cares. She goes to yell at the scientist briefly.

Oh, she kind of punches him in the face. Would have been better with like a kick to the nuts. Yes, since it's a nut-related movie, definitely a nut thing. Yeah, you like playing with people's balls, huh? Let's see you reconstitute that seaman. Yeah, let's see it. Let's see you do it, Papa Mouskowitz. I thought about not saying that.

I'm glad I did. Me too. And he, you know, they're like super successful now. It's more than implied that Dated Javito stole a million dollars of this. Oh, because it's one of those, like, you know, they were getting paid five for this drop off. and then he's like, yeah, Arnold, we return the $4 million. The thing is that they return the money to who?

The dude is dead. He was an illegal deal. Like, what are we talking about? You murdered, like, you killed off one too many plot lines. There's nobody left to return the money to. Oh, come on. No, you go to the child of Beat Rube McKinley. Carrot Top McKinley.

I think that's what you go to. It's like, here's your money back. And listen, when you grow up, if you're still sore, about me killing your father. Oh, shit. Is that why Karatov's getting in such good shape lately? Yes. Oh, dude.

He's getting ready to take out his revenge on Beat Rout something or other. He's going to kill Danny DeVito. I'd watch that. No. Oh, yeah. In a movie. In a movie, of course.

In a movie or television show, maybe. Or a short clip that's shared on Twitter that shouldn't be, yeah. And it's just gross. one of the endings of this movie is like she comes in and she's like my boys and they both turned her like mama

dude you see Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny Duvito devolve into the baby from dinosaurs yes it's just this mama what are you if I'm that lady I am turning

tail and leaving you're 35 mom is totally fire I believe you owe me some milk oh god I got some lips. They need a latchin. She brings them a teddy bear. She's got to ask you for this treatment.

Well, here's the thing, though. You know already you're going to meet your two twin sons. Sure. One teddy bear? What the fuck? You're supposedly some art commune millionaire. I got the answer for this. One for the good one and nothing for the garbage.

Oh, got to keep that going. She agreed with Mouskowitz, ultimately. She was like, no, yeah, he is garbage. You're right. The little one's garbage. And the end of the movie is, I guess there's no extradition on Tony Jay. He comes to the mainland here. This is stupid. It should be the Jack La Lane guy. Yeah. It's Tony Jay and, like, they're all in a park.

And, of course, Arnold and everybody have had twins with their respective sisters. Isn't that something? That's great. Is that a product of the experiment? Like, every offspring is going to have? Oh, shit. That's a genetic thing. Like, twins are more prone to having twins.

Or if you have twins in your landlinks. You got kids? You got kids? It's the one thing I know about twins. You think that's going to happen, though, dude? You're going to be, like, doubling up? Like a two-for-one coupon? Got to start saving now.

Yeah. Got it. But they all have twins. And it's like, ah, twins on twins on twins. Which is fucked up because the end of junior is, like, them also, like, on vacation. And everybody's got babies. And everybody's got babies. Someone had to say something.

Look, I know he was Ivan Wright, and he was a giant. Asked for a rewrite. You can't have that twice in a movie. At least if you're going to do it, you have to also include kindergarten cop and have him steal some kids at the end. Now you're coming with me. You're twins.

It's okay. I'm a police officer. It's okay. Get in my Gio. We're going for a drive. But yeah, that's twins. That's the end of the movie. There is the.

the end of this weird movie. So that, of course, means we do have to start wrapping it up here. We want to thank you all for coming out. You've been awesome. Give yourselves another round of applause. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Be sure you are tipping your server generously, folks. Absolutely. These are hard, strange, shitty times. Tip generously. Now, for all of you all

who have not seen us live before, what we like to do to end a show here, you know, is check in with the best place on the internet, you can go to find grounded, intelligent, well-thought-out, not insane whatsoever writing about film, you guessed it, the Internet Movie Database,

user review section. One of these days we're going to run out and we're just going to have to start going to Reddit. And it's really, and then it's going to get really bad. Hey, Fred Reddit over here, everybody. Look at that. All right. You got some real weird people

on your website, Fred. All right. No, the logical step, by the way, is letterboxed. No, there's a bunch of fucking freaks on there, too. Not crazy enough. This is the Wild West.

I need the Wild West. All right, fair enough. Respected people on Letterbox. All right, here we go. We're all on there. All right, here we go. First one, ten out of ten stars. Wow.

The subject line is 6.1 average at time of writing. Right? Which was 4 o'clock at the morning. Valentine's Day. The 10th of May, 2022, I wish.

We did have a Valentine's. What was that show that was a Valentine's Day somewhere along the way? This is by Barry Devine, 36663. There must be a bug in the IMDB rating system. You don't say. How on God's Earth does this masterpiece only receive a mere 6.1 out of 10.

I can only imagine the amount of terrible movies that score higher. The mind boggles. Anyway, it's a beautiful, feel-good, heartwarming, action-packed, hilarious movie that may even get you to shed a tear. At gunpoint, maybe. Now, this tells you everything that's wrong with IMDB. I gave it a 10 to raise the average, though it probably does deserve a nine.

Great. It's fantastic. Closing line, a big thank you to its producers. You're very welcome, says Ivan Reitman from Beyond the Grave. You're very welcome. All right, here we go, another one here. One out of ten stars. Oh, no. Boo this man

Okay Subject line Trash Man this is great Written the 28th of August 2019 username Eric, you ready

This might have been you England sucks 88 73 I'm just saying They shouldn't be telling us what to do What of your burner accounts?

No, no, no. All right. This is very in-depth. Get ready. Okay. It was so bad that I just stopped watching in the movie. End of review. Nice.

Maybe that was me, actually. You get these late night rants, man. It was like the 16th review that person posted in the night, you know? I was in a bad place for a long time. Fucking twins, I'll get that one. You see. I'm still in a bad place. I need help.

One out of ten stars. We've got a couple more here. One out of ten stars. Username Vux. All right. That's it. April the 26th, 2022.

This is a weird one. Everything bad that's ever happened in my life can be traced back to this movie. Oh, man. I gotta hear this. Was this you again? This might be me.

This might be me. Are you Vux and England sucks? I get blackout drunk and I watch this movie all the time, apparently. Son of a bitch twins. All right. So everything in my life is going to trace back this movie. All right. I'm leaving you.

You're watching twins too much. Possibly. Possibly. Probably. Junior, I have cancer. and it's from all the twins watching. Well, I'm sorry, Tom, we can't keep you on here. You're just watching twins far too much.

It's a real, little shame. We need to talk about your Marshall Bell addiction. Second sentence and final sentence of the review. So let's just do the whole thing. You're the whole experience. Yeah, right? Okay. Everything bad that's ever happened in my life can be traced back to this movie.

If you know, you know. I do not. I don't know. I really do not know. You know, stash away them pennies for therapy. I don't know. I can't help you. All right, here we go.

This is the last one. The last one. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know.

All right. 10 out of 10 stars. We're going to end a high note. Subject line outstanding. written the 3rd of July 2020, just fucking knee-deep in lockdown. Oh, yeah.

You're watching Twins. That's, there's your positive review right there. You're cut off from society? This is fantastic. Anything looks good when you're living the life of Julius Benedict. All right, here we go. Oh, this is Justin, what was it? Justin Scrodom?

Justin Socromb. Oh, okay. I thought it said Scrodom for a second, which would have been perfect. But I'm not going to fake it. It doesn't say that. All right, but what it does say, these guys come from different worlds,

but unify through love. A genius story that's very entertaining. Can't wait for triplets. We've been We Hate Movies from New York City. Thank you very much. Thank you so much, Los Angeles. Y'all have been awesome. We will see you all next time.

Bye-bye. Thank you, everybody. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you. Thank you so much for joining us. Make sure you close out your tab and take care of the servers. We do have another show heading in, so we do have to shut down the showroom. Thank you so much for joining us. When United I signed in me Yeah

When you're twins The magic just ever in That was a hate gum podcast I'm Tobin Heath, two-time World Cup winner And I'm Kristen Press, two-time World Cup winner And this is the recap show This is the first time we'll be watching the World Cup In over a decade

We know we're not alone with how we feel about the way people talk about women's sports. We want to be part of the solution. Having been there many times before ourselves, Tobin and I are going to bring to you what it's like to play in a World Cup, what's really happening behind the scenes, all the good, juicy bits.

The recap show will bring you gal culture at its finest. We all know what broculture is, but what is gal culture? We're here to define it. We have incredible guests joining us. You're going to get the strongest perspective, the strongest minds the game has to offer. This is our narrative, our culture,

and we get to tell it our way. Nobody can speak about the World Cup better than us. You'll hear it all on the recap show. Premaring July 20th, you're going to find the recap show everywhere. YouTube, TikTok, Twitter, Instagram, threads, and wherever you get your podcast. Welcome to the recap. Welcome to the show. LFG.