We Hate Movies - S13: On-Screen Live! 4.17.23 Renfield, The Pope's Exorcist, Beau Is Afraid, the Box Office #s & more!

Episode Date: April 19, 2023

On this week's On-Screen Live!, the guys are chatting about Nic Cage as Dracula in Renfield, Russell Crowe wearing a hat as The Pope's Exorcist, Joaquin Phoenix freaking out in Beau Is Afraid, reacting to the trailers for The Marvels and The Last Voyage of the Demeter, going over the weekend Box Office numbers, and more, including the debut of a brand-new segment, SECRET MOVIE! Don't forget to pick up your tickets for our WORLDWIDE VIRTUAL LIVE SHOW happening tomorrow, 4/20, where we'll be talking all about Peter Jackson's King Kong from 2005! Be sure to pick up the ticket bundle that gives you access to the full show AND the After Party where we'll be doing another FULL HOUR answering questions from the audience! If you can't make the show, the replay is available for a full week after!   Be sure to catch us on the road this spring when we play shows in San Francisco, Los Angeles and New Brunswick, NJ! This is of course the audio-only edition of On-Screen Live!, if you want the full experience, check out the show on our YouTube channel. Watch live Mondays at 12pm/et or catch the replay whenever. While you're there, be sure to like this episode and subscribe to the channel! Set up notifications so you don't miss a moment of new content from us!  Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Thank you. And so. I'm What's going on, everybody? Good evening. Good afternoon. Good morning. You are coming at us from. My name is Andrew Jupin. This is on screen live. We got a lot to get to today, including box office numbers, some trailer reactions, stuff we've seen in theaters and debuting a new segment on the program. So we got a lot to get to. Going to bring in, well, some sexy friends of mine. I just got sexy friends. I don't know what to tell you. I got sexy fucking friends. sexy friend. So we're doing this

So we're doing this Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Start with the prize pig and move on down. Steve, your moniker here letting us in on what you were getting up to over the weekend. We'll get to that a little later. And here we go,

ooh, here's a sexy blonde pig, Eric Siska. I want to make bacon with you. Dude, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, I was. Uh, surprise, low budget hit has nothing to offer, but it's gimmick, an evil lepricon Davis, who terrorizes young people on the farm while searching for his stolen gold poorly written and what what on the air? No, no, no, keep going, honestly. Hey, look, the blockbuster entertainment movie guide is, uh, quite, uh, quite a read. Wow, quite as big as big that's your toilet time thing.

Just at any given moment. Look, it's this and ulysses. You do that and just it calms the mood, little tea. It lets it helps the shit happen. Exactly. It eases up the bowel. What was that you were really? Was that a Hal Ashby movie you were talking about for a second there?

Hal Ashby's the lepercon. Got it. Which co-stars Jennifer Aniston. That would have been kind of sweet of howlashby directed Lepard. I don't know what that would look like, but it would definitely better movie. Better soundtrack for sure. Oh, do you guys? Do you guys have a good weekend? Sure. Yeah, I did. I saw, well, I'll see what I got. I did a little Broadway. I went to see

Doll's house with Jessica Chastain. Oh. You put on your tuxedo and your top hat. I did. Now Steve, that was the stage adaptation the stage adaptation of the short live television series. She keeps turning into different assassins. Yeah. Andrew Jupin watched every fucking second of that show. I will say though

judging by the audience's reaction to sort of like the last half of that play which is you know kind of it's a play so it's like kind of sad at the end and people are still laughing because like the guy from succession is kind of funny in it but at the end he's not that funny. Stewie from Succession isn't it? Oh that's cool.

Okay. He's like the male lead. uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, or, uh, anyone jumping off the top turn buckle? No, but at the beginning, it's just Jessica Chastade just sits down and like just on this ring and it kind of her chair just kind of goes around and around. And the ushers keep coming out to you like, by the way, it's totally okay to take pictures right now. When the show starts, fuck, like, it's, it's like, it's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, fuck. Like, like, it's, it's weird. Uh, that's weird. So it's like, she's, like, spinning around on this chair. They're, like, trying to, like, not have perverts. Yeah. She says sat, sat and spinned. She literally sat and spun. And, okay. So she's like, great play.

Yeah. Did she all, did she only, while she's doing this, is she also defending Jeremy strong, uh, just. to the nail in the bone, okay, got to let her, you know, sorry. No, that's, that's totally fine. By the way, happy a big 420 thing that we're going to talk about in a little later, but we got a lot to get to folks, like I said. So let's run the numbers, gang. This is highest gross. All right. top five, top five. Very surprising.

Is it is still rocking and rolling. Let me get the numbers out here so everybody can play along at home. Another 7.72 mill, not too shabby. Beholden. I was out last week. I did see this movie. I really liked it. It's a fun little like, you know,

we call it about, you know, a baseball term. It's not a home run. It's a double. You know what I mean? is a total double. I enjoyed it. I think more movies should be as kind of low key and fun for adults, even though it is brand propaganda. That's true. It is propaganda, but guys talking in rooms. Yes. It's good. It's adult. Like, that's the, like, and your only adult, like, what's your counter program for adult? Is it a mafia mama? Yeah. It can do so good. So, like, yeah, I'm not surprised by this. And people still love Damon and Affleck. I'm sorry. They're big brands and they work. Yep. You mentioned mafia mama. We should mention how much. It was. It was one of our first trailer segments on the show. That's right. Yeah. We were looking. I don't have any graphics for it because it's not in the top five, but just to let you know, debuted at eight. Did just a scotch over $2 million on 2002 screens. So yeah, that's awful. That is insane. A huge wide release, swing and a miss.

You have to you have to you have to you have to you know, you know, you know, something like that you have to you have to make you have to make you know, you know, a couple of regions 50 screens something like that. You can't put a movie like this out on 2002 screens. Like bleaker street flubbed dude. I mean, I guess they thought it was going to be another 80 for Brady but it's really different. You know what I mean? It's a very different core audience. It's a very violent movie and a gross movie. Oh, really? You watched it? Oh yeah. I saw it. Oh, the richfield, of course, the richfield, like, like, like, the richfield theater around me, like they, uh, but I try to go there because they're very cheap. Uh, so, so you're saying it's actually violent. That's interesting. It's, it's very bloody. It's like really bloody. Uh, because it's Catherine Hardwick. Like, you kind of get that with her. Uh, but like, Tony Colette is all in on that performance. And nobody is backing her up. Yeah. Really? Not even Monica? No, I mean, she's like so checked out. You, you would not. I mean, even for Monica, who's supposed to be like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, uh, uh,

like she's, uh, they, they, uh, they, she's just bored. Like she, you can tell. She's like, yes, Tony. Thank you. Yes. Yes. Tony. Yes. I, I, I like, trip advisor too. Yes. I'm, I'm very fond of it. There's, there are plugs for like trip advisor and shit like that all over the fucking thing. So would you say it's anti or pro mafia? Um, you know, it kind of, it's hits the middle ground. It doesn't go. It doesn't go. It doesn't go. It doesn't go. It doesn't. I need. I need my mafia movies to be whole hog pro mafia. That's fair. That's why I tanked to the box office. Word got around. Exactly. I wouldn't be surprised. One more note on air, much like that film, Michael Jordan is in my move. He's right over there. You just can't see him. Oh, okay. That's right. Michael Jordan is right there. Hi, Michael.

Uh, coming out four, speaking of fucking tanking hard. Oh, yeah. And field. uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, out air, uh, which is, uh, not great. That's not a great debut. I mean, you know, John Wick is in the theater. Uh, you're, you're going up against the fat dime, dime, that is, uh, Russell Crow these days. And then Super Mario, you know is going to be there forever. Yeah. I mean, it's just, it's tough. That's, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, like, you know, like, you know, like, John Wick for it'd be fucking killing it. No, such as it is.

I, I feel like they maybe should have, but that is the problem. John Wick is specifically the issue because why go see the lighting scheme in Renfield when you can just go see it in Johnwick forward? Yeah, that's actually fair. It's the same exact lighting scheme. So why not? Just go. Yeah, except John Wick actually keeps the, the lighting scheme consistent. throughout. We'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, you can watch three, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, we'll, uh,

and we can watch three, three or four Renfields in John Wick with the runtime differences, because that's a 93 minute movie, which I thought was refreshing. But yeah, it was. But in this instance, dude, the 93 minutes cramming in more showtimes did not help. Uh, because John Wick in at number three, in its fourth fucking week, another nearly eight million dollars. Yeah. Uh, you know, What do you say? This is this box office. The box office is. I mean, you got this chugging along, you know, irrespective of like what the movie quality is really chugging along. Yeah. The movies are back. I mean, well, there was that piece going around that like, you know, studios are finally admitting, yes, it's probably a good idea to just have theatrical releases again. That's, that's going to be our best model for making money off movies. Who would have a fucking guess? By the way, I like fresh thinking. I like going.

new ideas. I love when they go for new stuff. All those people that wrote op- like, we're never going back to the movies again. Movie theaters should close. All them belong on death row. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Line them up and just shoot them in the public square. Eric has the receipts and he's ready to do it. Yeah. Absolutely. I was early back to the movies. I went back during Mortal Kombat. Oh, yeah. That's right. You were an early adapt. Wow. Oh, wow. Okay, good for you. Uh, it's still sucks that, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, we had all that time out of theaters, like as a retro, but my first reel back to the movie was conjuring three, which is, that ain't in chief. Yeah, yeah. Hey, speaking of horror movies released in theaters at number two, you know them, you love them. The Pope's Exorcist, man. I'm in with nine point two million for a non-franchise, uh, uh, uh, you're on, uh, uh, uh,

you just put, uh, on anything and people are going to go see it. I don't know, I don't know that that's true, man. These, no one gives a shit about exorcist movies. No, exorcism movies, different. Not, not, not the grand Peter Blatty classic. No, I meant what you mean. No, but I mean, like there's all. Yeah, I guess it's true. I don't know. Wasn't that, wasn't that the movie you saw that you hated? Like, like, like the devil pray for the devil? For the devil. There's always exorcist movies coming out. I think those did well? That's fair. No, that's the thing, Steve. Just because they're coming out doesn't mean people are watching. What was the last big exorcism movie? The exorcism of Emily Rose or something? That was a big guy.

That was a conjurings, technically. Conjurings are exorcist movies. And you got an actual movie, a big, big movie star. you know, not to like stuff like the conjuring. Patrick Wilson's a person, but he didn't have the career people still love the crowman. They do. Fantastic. They absolutely do.

This new like era of crow like dad beer gut crow. I'm loving it, man. And the new segment this week is going to tie into that a little bit. Pretty excited to talk about that. But here we go. Of course, no surprises.

Mario. another $87 million dollars. It also, it's on thousands of screens. It added 28 million dollars. There are like, we didn't play Mario. We are on the verge. By the way, only a 41% drop from its first week. Excellent hold. It's the biggest box office film right now in 2023. And it's the highest video game adaptation of all time. stuff. We're gonna see more of these. We're, just between this spiderverse, like these, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, are waning a little bit on our live action love. I think that we're going to see more kind of what I'm going to call prestige animated pictures, like big brand, something that could have been a live action movie that absolutely will go animated because of this movie and Spider-verse. I think there goes my hopes for a live-action Metroid. Yeah. No, that's that's that's another thing too. I'm wondering. Are we see a wave of Is my precious is my time to see a minute? Is my precious Zelda Yep, I mean, I was with some friends

on Saturday night and that was precisely what we were talking about because a buddy of ours had some new Zelda footage because he works in the gaming industry and we were talking about like, man, wouldn't that be something like live action? But then this friend of mine was like,

no, they'll do an animated movie. It's going to be animated. You're going to get like Timothy Shamel to do the voice a link or something. Link's talking. Link's the danger. We're going to go to go to a couple of and that movie comes, that game comes out the, like the weekend before. And I'm bringing my switch. I don't know if I'm going to leave my hotel is the problem. I will get on the plane. I will go to the hotel. Steve, don't bring it. Don't bring. I said I'm not bringing it specifically because of this issue because I'll miss the show. I just know. I just know what's going to happen. So just leave the

fucking thing at home. This show is sponsored by better help. When do you have time to reflect? You always jumping from one hurdle to the next, trying to make ends meet, and ideally trying to stay on top of everything. When's the last time you learned something new about yourself? When was the last time you checked in with yourself? I've been going to therapy for almost a decade, and I really think it's the best place to

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And then real quick, one title in the art market that we will be highlighting a little bit later. But Ariester's, Beau is Afraid, came out in limited New York, L.A. release. It was on four screens, two in each city. But $320,000 on four screens, that's a big deal. My Alamo screening was the because it was the right one. I went to the 240

and obviously it's a three-hour movie so you want to go to the 240, you know what I mean? I mean, that's what was crazy. I was trying to find a time to see this weekend, could not fit it in, but I'm looking at the showtimes, right? And I was really curious because it opened it, yeah, here in New York, it was the Alamo, Brooklyn and Lincoln Square on the Upper West Side. Lincoln Square is like

I'm like my my to IMAX and I'm looking at I'm looking at these showtimes I wasn't considering it but there was an 11 p.m. showtime of that movie in IMAX I'm not getting out of the movies at 2.30 in the morning what's a matter with you? That's insane.

I really I should have looked to see like ticket availability right before the showtime to see who was there like if anyone turned out for that I mean it's Manhattan so like I'm sure several hours I'm sure I mean, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I mean, like, like, like,

like, um, um, so, like, the, the, the, the, the limited release makes sense. But, like, I do like this idea of building anticipation. This, this, I do think works. And, like, even though I'm like, you, the box office. Exactly. You don't want to come quite yet. Uh, the, I, I think that if you do this, like, like, to a certain degree, it works. But, like, I'm also like, come on. You can get me one outside of New York. Yeah. Just this one. Come on, baby. Dude, this is on platform. This is how platform releases work.

I don't know. I know. I know. Here's what I do you guys. Do you three have anything going on this Thursday at around like 9 p.m.? Zelda comes out a couple weeks from now, so I'm free. Oh, I got plans. You got plans?

What are your plans, dude? Virtual live show. Oh, my God. There it is. This Thursday, 420, it's going to be so much fun. Chris Cabin is going to smoke a whole banana. I've been testing it. I've been testing it doesn't work.

I have to put gas on the fucking banana. You have to figure this out. Maybe you can make a bong out of a banana. Oh, I'm sure, but you could make a bong out of a banana. No, you need a harder fruit, man. That's why you always do with apples. I'm definitely getting a lot of burnt like a rine in there. And I don't want that.

Do apes eat apples? I'm sure. Probably. Yeah, I would think so. Yeah. All right. You can do it with an apple. but I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that I'm not doing that I'm not doing that I'm not doing that's not doing that's just us. A super fun show at 9 p.m. Eastern that we're going to talk about all about king Kong and then we're going to do a little after party. I might smoke a little bit for the after party. Possibly. Oh, I will be. Possibly. Oh, yeah.

those after party tickets to see the sin, the actual sin. Actually, actually, we're all of us what a what a what a lot. What a time to be alive. Remember we used to call it like a tall glass of water back Oh yeah. We had jobs and it was illegal. That's right. Now this is the job and it's legal. So you're going to go to moment.com slash we hate movies gang. Get those tickets. And get yeah, get the after party too because that's like we're going to do the show and the show's like, so we hit movie show. It's going to be, you know, you know, like 90 minutes to like 1005 minutes. And then we're doing a full hour after. Oh, yeah. Answering cues and all that good stuff. It'll both will be available for replay for seven days after. And then that's it, folks. We're no, we're not going back to Kong country.

It's not coming out again. So if you want to see this show, you want to hang out with us and abide on 420. This is your chance. That's right. By them ticks. Chris and I will probably be smoking throughout the, before, oh, like a regular like a regular got to keep it regular, speaking of them, we got some trailers one of them, I think, uh, just some of the box office

tiredness we've been talking about. But let's check out these trailers in a segment we like to call trailer segment. So this first one coming up, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, like, uh, like, uh, uh, uh, I was, I couldn't give less of a shit if I tried, uh, I mean, you know, I'll probably see it. This is our job. I'll see it. But man, the marvels. I just don't. Well, it's fine. I have not, truly don't care. I haven't seen the trailer yet at all. So this is a first

reaction that I'm going to be having here. I guess Steve as well. Mm-hmm. me too, oh, oh, oh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, so there's links to both trailers we're going to be watching today. So feel free to sync along with us. Uh, here we are with the Marvel's. This is, it is from the Marvel entertainment account. So you know it's the real deal. Uh, let's check it out now in three, two, one, go. No trailer trailer. Woo! Yep. No trailer trailer. Fucking great. Oh, do the Avengers

have a spaceship now. that was previously established. I don't know. I don't I don't know. It must be a shield Yes. Yes. And just like oh hey Nick Fierre you're a celebrity. Like God damn it I hate that. He's your boss So yeah, here we go. Captain Rambo. Okay. So you're intergalactic galactic, oh, yep.

And here's Captain Charisma herself. It's surprising that it took them this long to do another Captain Marvel thing. I guess it's because of the internet being upset that she existed. Well, probably also like because of the way they like worked that character into all their weird phased machinations or whatever. Yeah, she's, we've seen a lot of her. I don't remember any more. She comes in at, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, she comes in, like, like, like, I think that's where you see her. Uh, and I watched, I watched, like, one episode of that Ms. Marvel and just knew it was not for me.

Just a little too, like, Y, A feeling. Oh, there's a cat. Yeah, you got to get a cat. It's fun. I mean, I like the first one. I'm probably going to give, I'm definitely going to give this a shot. I. Yeah.

It just, you know, maybe not, though. If I have to watch Miss Marble. to understand. That's the question. No, no, no, no, no, yeah. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, I don't know. I guess we will see. The use of intergalactic is just disgusting. I totally forgot. I forgot there was even a Miss Marvel. Is that right? Yeah, well, it's every week. You got to keep, you got to keep up. So if you're not watching Marvel every week, you're missing out on the. Marvel. I mean, you know, you know, same with Star Wars. So this comes out November 10th, directed by Nea DeCosta. Um, you know, I like her first movie. It's been not so great. I, that Candyman remake is not for me. I stayed away, dude. I read our, our good friend Angelica Jade Bastion's review and stayed right away from that movie. I was meant to go back to it, but I never did. It's, yeah. There are parts that work, uh, overall it does not. Uh, and Little Woods, her first movie

is very good. I can't say because I think she did something else. Did she did she? I forget. I'm a quick run around the IMDB here. Or was it just Candyman? I might have just been Candyman. But yeah, it's just it's the Marble. I'm hoping that is this the next no, the next Marvel movie is what? Oh, is Guardians which you know. That's going to really let me know whether or not

I can fuck with Marvel anymore. totally totally is not we're just we're really in trouble because I've really liked the first of this segment I mean honestly that was sort of what surprised me so much about that dreadful ant man was

I was on the outside of that part too I liked both of those movies and that was like a real kick in the teeth oh Chris yeah this is yeah she did Little Woods and then Candyman and in between that two episodes of a TV series

but the Marvels. The boy gets top in that I hope so. I don't know, TV show from 2019 here. Two London drug dealers plied their lucrative trade at a public housing estate in East London. That's what it's about.

All right. So, all right, let's get to the other one. This is some real ridiculous shit here. The last voyage of the Demeter now, if you're a fan of literature, you know what this is referencing. If you don't, we're going to watch the trailer and you will find out what this movie is about. And good God. I've heard of this. I'm kind of excited. I have no idea. Universal has cooked up with director, Andrea Overdahl. You know, your great friend Ruben Oslin would be so disappointed at you, dude. Go for your throat. All right,

So here we go, The Demeter, Chris, Chris, by the preview, in three, one, go. Oh, he was on board, uh-oh. Yep, oh, spooky scary. You got fucking, what's his face from Game of Trones? Oh, it's a Dracula movie. Okay.

And I'll call it a Dracula movie with a debiter. Yeah, dude. So we are making a movie about one chapter from the book Dracula. Oh, shit, I do it. The onion. Knights in this. I mean, I got some nice looking ships in that's something. The last voyage of here's the question. Because it's universal. You never know. You never could be sure what they're going to start a dark universe. Are we starting a dark universe here again? Maybe this could be a dark universe sly reboot me. Yeah. I don't know. Any time they could just be like did that make money? Dark

universe. I just called Dr. Universe. Yeah. They just learned not to call their period period period. The the original dark universe was right with the mummy and Russell Crow was Russell Crow was supposed to be Dr. Dr. Jekyll.

Dave Dasmalion is in this movie too floating around he's also in the Boogids Man coming out this year as well. Pardon the boogeyman that's coming out in there's a boogie man movie? Yeah Stephen King Boogieman movie this went in June I saw that trailer yesterday. Oh.

and you also floating around in the movie. floating around in the movie. Kroes was the dude. I think he's in the heights. And a bad Tom Hardy clone I just saw somewhere. Were we doing full bat Dracula?

Are we looking like, are we wearing a suit at some point? They showed him as a big nosferatu monster kind of thing. I can barely see anything in this trailer. I hate to break it to you. Yeah. Yeah, I know this is set the 1800s,

but let's turn a fucking light on them. set, I've seen the big monster, you think he's you think he sucks off a few guys? There's a dude on the IMDB page that is credited as playing Dracula, a dude name Oh no, shut up! See?

See? Shut up with the drop. Yeah. The world is a vampire, Billy Corrigan. The boat is a vampire. The boat is a vampire. I do do do do do do do do too too too too oh yeah and you're right chris the woman from nightingale which was one of the most difficult brutal fucking movie see he's like it's like a bat creature man if you you just lost a hundred dollars andrew because if you came to me you're like yo dude uh there's a movie coming out about dracula's boat ride up like i bet you a hundred dollars you're fucking lying that's fake motherfucker and dude i mean i saw it before

Renfield, I just, I just, I just, I just, I was watching. Well, I believe you, because I couldn't see so I couldn't believe it either. Uh, but yeah, this is dropping this shit middle of August. Uh, this is the dude who did troll hunter. And, uh, what else were we saying? Cabin? Scary stories to tell in the dark. Which I did not see. GD.T. produced. Yes. And they, that and troll hunter both have things in them that work. Uh, I don't like the movies overall, but, uh, the autopsy of Jane Doe, which, he did with Brian is very good. A movie

is that a horror movie? It's a A thriller. I'd like that. Like like with paranormal shit They're like cutting open to the body Like oh oh there's monsters in it. You're seeing autopsies dude yes For sure exactly exactly what's going on So yeah I don't know

We'll see my interest isn't not peaked. Between Renfield we've got the Dracula boat I just feel like yes, there will be like Dracula's Taylor coming up. You know what I mean? Whatever little Dracula piece I can get and just explore. Because that's all rights free, man. We don't have to pay

anybody for shit. But Dracula Taylor sounds like a villain in John Wick. Now you have to go up against Dracula's Taylor. All right, Jonathan. You have to go see. Dracula's but let's but let's get into it. Renfields dead three out of

Eric Eric Eric Eric I think you the most so let's hear your thoughts man I liked it when it veered into total campy action and I know there's fountains of CG blood and it's pretty stupid but I honestly found parts of the movie

charming I think it's you get caged to do some shit it's not a great movie. It's a short movie. I was in and out of the theater. Yeah. I mean, I'll say I definitely liked it less than you. I think I've actually soured on it more since we were talking about it yesterday. I just am bummed by the notion of like, here's the movie where Cage plays Dracula. And I think he actually does a really good job. And I think Nicholas Holt's actually pretty good as Renfield. But all of the shit with the cops and Aquafina and this crime family. Dracula teaming up with a shit, had absolutely no interest in. The fact that John Ralphio is your major villain other than, it's just I was in hell. And I love Ben Schwartz, but it's just, it's not. Very funny guy. Very, very funny guy. It's just not what you want to anchor this movie. The whole anchor of the movie is you have Nicholas Cage as fucking Dracula finally.

and his relationship and his relationship with Renfield. I think the thing is that no one about Nicholas Cage but like us. Do you think that's true? The movie is not going to be catering to that. I think he's lucky to even be in it. I disagree

with that really hard at least right now because Pig just gave him a fucking second wind. Like what is he done with it? What is you know? I guess it's this and I just don't think anyone cares about Cage anymore. I love him and that's why I kind of enjoyed the movie.

We're in camp cage, though. He's gone full walk in the unbearable like this is where we are. He's just going to make these movies where he goes, boogity, boogany. And it was like, yay. He's also in 5,000 movies that come out every year that no one sees.

That's also very true. He was in that Clint Howard Western movie, the old way or whatever, which was like fine. But I mean, he's not caging out. And honest, you know, I would actually kind of make the argument, I mean, he's not caging out in this is an actual he's putting together. He's like, like, Dracula talks, it's an actual thing. And it's not, he's good at it.

He is really good. And I will tell you, like, Aquafina, you know, I thought she was great in the farewell. That's an excellent movie. She is. She's made me laugh here and there. She's just completely ill-suited for what they're asking of her in this movie. And it's also like, her whole storyline is like, I'm the only do-gooder cop, and everybody else is crooked, because they all work for Jean-Ralphio and Shora Agladashu. And my dad was maybe murdered by crooked cops. And I'm going to clear his name. Oh, and my sister over here works for the FBI. That's kind of, it's just like, get it all out of the movie. It's a lot. It's a lot. I feel like they felt like, okay, we're doing

Dracula. We can't just do the story of Dracula again. I'm going to modernize it. We're going to set it in the modern world, which I think, which, which didn't really made sense. Aquafina is, Aquafina is fully in sliding doors mode because Stephanie Sue, she got replaced by Stephanie Sue because of scheduling conflicts for everything everywhere, which would have made a huge deal for her career. She could, she could have been, she was supposed to be Stephanie Shues. Yes. And everything everywhere. There was scheduling conflicts, maybe because of Shang-chi or something else. And she dropped out and Stephanie Sue came in and she got nominated for an Oscar rightfully. That's the

that's going to be the sliding. That's a slating door moment for her I thought the sliding door for her was when she voiced this MTA subway for a day. She did that for a day? Oh, now I got the joke. Well, I mean, Nicholas, Nicholas Holt is also in that situation. There was just a piece written.

I think it was either in the Hollywood Reporter or variety where he was talking about how he, like, Tom Cruise was like, I want you to be in, Tom, in Mission Impossible. And it, it conflicted with, he was already. He was already. He was already. He's a main, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, and he has been. And like, like, like, this is Chris McKay. He's horrible. Like the Tomorrow War is so fucking bad. I can't even tell you. Well, you don't know, that was the director of robot chicken is not, uh, cut out for major motion

pictures. Well, that's the thing is he did that and they gave him the Lego Batman movie. And that, of course, whoever was going to be behind it, it was going to make a bagelion dollars. Dude, dude, but I watched the Lego Batman movie but we rented it having liked that first Lego movie enough and we watched Lego Batman and I was like, oh no, I'm done with this. I'm done with all Lego related shit. It's for children, which is fine. Yep. It's totally fun. Precisely. But all it made money and his name was attached to it. So they're like, well, give him five movies that like nobody will give a shit about ever. So maybe that'll work. Well, well, oh, oh, oh, that's interesting. He edited the, um, um, um, the, but it's interesting. And I just want to see who the, the credit is here. Because I'm

curious if it's actually him, uh, in the edit bay for Renfield. And it looks like that is a no. But there's three editors here. And I will say that is another huge slam against Renfield. I think it's one of the most horribly edited movies I've seen in a while like really choppy shit like it just I was really kind of surprised it was that bad um but moving on pope's exorcist uh we're we're loving we're loving Russell Crow and his new uh era of Crow the Russell Sons I guess um did anybody see this besides me no I admit I did not I'm fully I'm fully waiting three and I'm spending And I'm going to see it. You don't need to see it in theaters

It is kind of slow And actually funny enough, we just were mentioning it a minute ago But it's also kind of like a chamber drama Because when he rolls up to this This Come on The Spanish Abbey You know, they really don't leave

the house after that to hilariously to home, what's his face? he's like, I'm doing I'm doing the pope of research. I have to do some a pope of research and tell Russell Crow about the the demon. Oh, and he's like looking through books and stuff and you're just

like, nobody's letting the Pope do this? Is Franco Niro looking at it books like, oh my good, I can't believe a Kevin of Spacey innocent that cannot believe to be my best friend, my best friend. He's the only way. my movie, he's the only way.

We make the movie in Italy nobody give a shit about a Kevin Spacey allegation. Yeah, it's ridiculous. And Crow, you know, for what it's worth, he is going whole hog. He is in the movie, man. There is some crazy crazy Crow moments.

But like, extra star and a half alone for shots of him on this fucking moped, the sunglasses, the Exorcist hat, and the fucking priest cloak blowing in the wind. amazing shots of this guy riding around Rome. The woman who plays the mother is, what's her face from, oh, Lord now.

The last big, oh, Dr. Sleep. She plays like the Wendy Torrance in Dr. Sleep. Alex Esso, that's her name. She's been in a bunch of stuff you've seen. Oh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, she's in, uh, uh, you's in, uh, uh, uh, uh, you're in, you're, uh, and, uh, and the fact that they never showed two Stallone's on the same screen is one of the biggest missed opportunities in fucking, the fuck are we doing. No, that seems like the whole point.

But yeah, this is a definite, you will have a fun time renting this movie and watching it at home. Um, that's, that's, that's, that's my two sense. I went into it. Um, um, um, um, um, um, fucking got it. Uh, no complaints there. Uh, but so Steve Sadek, I think this was just all you, dude, Bo is afraid. Yeah, uh, I was an East Coast elite and I got to see this film. Uh, yeah.

I really liked it. Um, I can see, it is a thousand and ten percent not for everybody. it's going to alienate a lot of people like Midsomar and like to redatry although I do think there's a lot connected to those things like all of the psychology in those movies is on full display in this movie

like this movie is just basically like a three hour anxiety nightmare fever dream and it's great it's also really fucking funny I could get that at home though exactly well here's the thing as a man with anxiety you're just, you're like, you're just, that ain't me. Oh man, that's great. That's his

exactly. You're just, you know, you're, you're a little better about yourself. At the end, and it was a packed Alamo screening. And again, like the jokes all hit. And like people are laughing. Rightfully so. Again, it's really darkly funny. At the end, though, some guy, the guy next to me who was laughing sometimes, just went, Jesus Christ. And I was like, and I got it. You know what I mean? At the same time, but I do there is going to be some there's going to be some fucking fine. I don't understand

I do kind of understand this universe where everybody has to be on a team one way or another and you're either Team A24 or Team Marvel or whatever. Like if you, you can't imagine the two things existing in the same fucking movie theater at once with Team Mario Brothers now. And so you're going to have to go

out of your way to be like, well, this is a fucking disaster. Oh my God. Arioster should be fucking killed. He's probably I don't think he's probably just I don't think he's going to like he's going to make a ton of money it'll probably do okay but I don't think it's it'll only cost like 50, 60 million

you know who knows advertising budgets if they'll break even or not but he's going to make another horror movie after this and he's going to be just fine. You know what I mean? Because he's a really good director and I think that this is a it's a cool thing that A24 gave him this rope. I don't

think he hung himself with it. Again I really think it's a really good movie. It'll probably be on my best of list, because I think it's going to be a pretty big movie year. I don't think this movie is going to win. That's going to win. That's kind of what we want these movies to do. And I, it's just not that movie. Even for like, what do you call it there? Everything everywhere. And maybe that surprised people too. Maybe this will catch on. I just, I think it is a little too alienating. And again, I really liked it. But I do think that I can see people being alienated by it. Yeah. Can I ask you this? Do you think, because I wonder the time, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, um, um, um, um, you know, um, do you think, um, the reactions to this movie would be leaning more towards, uh, the positive side than they are,

not that they're negative, but, you know, there'd be less of a split or there'd be less, uh, derision if they kind of just didn't tell you that it was an Ari Aster movie. In other words, if you removed from the direction, I feel like that shit. because I feel like because I feel like that shit certain expectations from the guys who brought you hereditary

and midsamar exactly I think you're right though because I think that there is this like it needs to be a horror movie and it is it's much closer to a comedy than not I mean there are there's tension like throughout

there's like really like you know there's no real scares in it but it is really tense and like disturbing but it's not but it is also very very funny one thing the cast is fantastic. You got you got Joaquin who's a perfect

in the whole movie just dealing with Nathan Lane's great. Amy Ryan is fantastic also Richard Kind who we'll talk about in a minute is that he shows up and dude you want to talk about Russell Crow because I just happened to rewatch Glorious Bastards this weekend

the French guy from the beginning Denny Morishan Menoshet he is in this movie and he is a doorway. He is a Big man now. He's unrecognos. He's unrecognos. He's actually. He's really good at this. He's like a maniac. It's just, it's fantastic. There's this big, it's kind of a straw dogs ripoff called The Beasts that was big in France. It's coming out later this year. And I saw it earlier this year. I was like, oh my God. He ate a house. He ate a whole house. Dude, he saw Russell Crow and he wanted to, yeah. Yeah, dude. He, you sort of got a hint of this because he's one of the guards in, um,

Oh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, what the fuck the fuck the fuck the fuck the fuck the fuck the fuck the fuck. he's, you know, you know, we got robot chicken directing movies that are not doing well right now. I think maybe we'll lose robot chicken before we'll lose Ari Aster. So, Eric, you're saying, uh, the dude that was getting dragged over the weekend for his fucking little piss baby tweet about the movie being like a career ender for Ariester. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I saw that. Big old bitch was his name. What was his name? Eric. The guy. The guy's a big old bitch. The guy. The thing with those kind of tweets, is like, you kind of have to have guys like that around. Because that, it does. A bunch of people were saying this when he did that. They're like, oh, that guy sucks. If he hates it, it must be great. Yes. Like, it's a fucking signal up in the air like, oh, wait. Oh, maybe this is good. Maybe I was wrong about that. And I will, I will, I will, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, and I, uh,

and he is, dude, dude, he is, yeah, he's great and everything. Uh, he's just got some great faces in this film that really, that really steal the show for me. He's, it's, it's a really, it's definitely worth seeing when it comes out this weekend, folks. It's, but it is three hours and again, depending, I do think mileage will vary, but I, I really enjoyed it. There are a lot of people in the chat asking if the three hours are justified. I think so. But you do feel it. It's kind of both. Eric Weber. Eric Weber tweeted it. Yeah. Oh. Um, other, uh, quick casting cue. How's Patty Lepone?

She's great. Uh, you takes a while to get there and she's like, she's very, uh, she's very scary in a good way. Uh, I love it. Love it. And Parker Posey's fantastic too. Oh, God. Yeah. What a fucking. bench, it goes and goes. I think, I do think that most people, might like this guy's got a great bio. The world's foremost film evaluator registered. Probably paying big Elon Musk some money for that. Hashtag Oscar guru awardsace.com. Box office profit. Chair of the Sunset Awards. member of some I hate you

I hate you I hate you Midnight movie talk I can't give I mean we talk about because it's interesting but I could not give a shit about your predictions I could not care less

that only really mattered to me socially when that cool box office game was going around about 15 years ago that we all used to play this movie is Steve Good call this movie is indeed going wide this Friday, he's got, he's got, he's got, he's got an hour and 11 minute long YouTube video about how Bo is afraid is the worst movie ever made.

Oh, yeah, of course. We're having fun on the internet. Worth every minute. I'm sure. I mean, it's also probably, it will likely get its brains beaten by fucking Evil Dead because that's a true horror movie and it's going to give people what they want, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Again, I don't, I don't think this movie's going to make a shit ton of money, but it doesn't make it a bad movie. Yeah, totally. I go to the movies. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you're only going to the movies to make money, you're missing out on a whole lot. Including Renfield. So to close out the week here, new segment to introduce. We, you know, we've sort of talked about these kinds of movies here and there. You know, a lot of times, especially now with just how easy it is to, you know, get movies up on.

streaming platforms. The new direct to DVD, of course, and what you find, you're really digging through these, like, like, rent offerings on, like, Apple or wherever, you'll notice, like, big celebrities are making some movies that, like, nobody ever heard of, is never going to hear of. People like Morgan Freeman fall into this category quite a bit. Secret movies. So I thought, hey, let's highlight some of these good or bad in a new segment. We're definitely calling secret movie. By the way, big thanks to Filippa Brower for always coming through with the fucking awesome graphics, man. So dudes, I want to make you hip to this movie because we've been talking about them a lot on this episode already. And folks at home, get ready for Russell

this is on this is a peacock this is that's that's no no that's uh... that's the ryan johnson created television that's the real poker face yeah no

secret poker face man and this is a movie not only starring Russell Crow but written directed and contributing at least four songs to the soundtrack poker face from screen media films

which I learned last night is owned by you didn't guess it. chicken soup for the soul entertainment. Okay. Those self-help books fucking buying movies. Wow.

News to me. News to me. So this movie, you guys, this is a movie where Russell Crow and Rizza are like tech billionaires. Of course. They, it makes no fucking sense.

Russell Crow is like, narrating the beginning, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like he, like he, like, like he, like, or whatever and Rizzo, and somehow turned that same software, uh, into surveillance technology. Uh-huh. And just made a boatload of money. And so Russell Crow, uh, is this guy who, it's all, it's all filmed in Australia, very beautiful. he plays a guy he's he's he's he's he's

and invites his old buddies you know stand by me kind of shit uh to his gorgeous house to play this game of poker like dudes night we haven't had dude dude dude in a while we're all so busy blah blah blah and then he poisons all of his friends with like truth serum because it turns out like what what all his

all his friends like these hardcore like friends of his aside from Riza One of these other dudes has, like, like, like, like, he knows him over. And he's all that's, and then the brother of one of these buddies is going to Russell Crow's big, rich guy house to do, like, an art heist. So it's like all of these ridiculous fucking things. It's a real, it's a real movie stew. The truth serum has almost nothing to do with the rest of the movies that I'm understanding. No, because it's basically like

You're just a poison you're just truth serum You're gonna get sweaty and maybe a little diarrhea But you're all right And it's just basically like him just like talking to these dudes To get them to admit things That they've done and that happens And then it's like but we're all still mates Oh look I'm getting robbed at gunpoint

And then it turns into like a fucking panic room movie For a little bit Interesting I kind of like this idea It's just so much movie in one it's a it's a it's a it's a lot of movie for 94 minutes i was actually pretty surprised i just like once my biggest critique of like how outrageous it is is it's like 94 minutes and right when it was really getting going i put up the little info bar there's like 15 minutes left and like riza only gets to the movie in like the last 20 minutes that's a big fucking problem because he's like second bill I thought I thought he'd be in it

because I think they must be friends because this is now the second movie they're They were both in the man with the iron fists From 2012 Oh I didn't know Russell Crow was in that movie Well yeah it's a trade because Riza directed that I believe Oh yes There were strangers on a train once many years ago

You'd be in my bad movie I'll be in yours Chris Cross Yeah we swap bad movies But yeah, I mean, I mean, I mean, this, I mean, I mean, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, and then Rizzo. And then everybody else, it's all Australian actors and the only other person we would really recognize by name is Liam Hemsworth. Of course. The runt of the litter. His, uh, his, um, his character is like supposed to be an alcoholic or something.

And they're trying to give him like red boozehound face, but it just, the whole movie, it just looks like he's got a really bad sunburn. Uh-huh. And because he's supposed to be childhood friends with Russell Crowe, who are like, they're definitely putting like age makeup and some bad gray hair on him. Okay, great, awesome. Why would he couldn't just be like the younger kid in the group of friends also? Like, dude, they're aging him up.

So it's like bad sunburn and bad age makeup. It's fucking hilarious. His younger brother and then Alfie died. That's how that worked. Now he's just part of the crew. Look, it's just as easy to believe two, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like two, like it's completely normal. You bring the baby to college

and you take care of it in the court, in the, in the room with you, and then, like, you called your best friend. He's my best friend. Drink, baby, drink. You're, like, pouring it into it. Uh-huh, uh-huh. That's what gives him that skin, that red is skin. Oh, uh, yeah. So, you know, it's like a $5.99 rental. I would say, if you ever pass by it will be TV, you know, you know, you know, you'll certainly live at some point. Uh, uh, you know, it's a secret movie that you could do worse with. Um, so yeah. Again, there you go. We're flying in a couple of weeks. I got to get my airplane movies going. Uh, oh, this is an airplane movie because you know what, Steve, you could also very successfully fall asleep for like 20 minutes and it wouldn't matter. Uh, it does have like, you know, it's funny because another ingredient of course is like it is a poker movie. for the first half. is a lot of like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, um, um, um, um,

what's her face? Elsa Pataki, who is married to one of the Hemsworth brothers. I think she's, by that, Chris. I think it's Chris. Oh, yeah. I think it's Chris. Yeah. And she's also in like a couple of the Fast and Furious movies.

Yeah. She is the biological mother of Little B. I think if I'm, uh, remembering the, the franchise, right? Anyway, so there's a lot going on in poker. face besides just poker. But I would say, watch that TV show before. It is a good show. Yeah, really, really, really like it. So that's it, folks. But as always, you know, we got a big ass week here, a lot coming up. Starting with tomorrow, April continues on We Hate Movies. We're going back to Eastwood and Clyde Country with any which way you can. I want to show you guys something here.

very proud of this, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, like, uh, I was in this. He said, you're getting this. Oh, it is. Oh, yeah. It's so handsome with that hat. That's great. Oh, yeah. Yep. It's fucking awesome, dude. You like, he could walk into any, that ape with that hat on could walk to any country music event or concert. No one of the, of course. He looks like Earl Haggard. He looks like the average person in one of those shows. You can see that, you can see an ape like that of Miranda Lambert. didn't even have to be old-fashioned country, too. What's cool is, they have a little, another nice shot of this ape. Oh, the artists that sing on it, too. And the ape does not even wear a hat in the movie. Is that right? I don't believe. I don't remember. I don't know.

The ape is hatless. I repeat, hatless. Hatless. Okay. Scandal right there. The ape will be passing directly under the Earth's sun now. But great music. And if you want to watch a sleazy, like 70s hangout movie where we're trying to get an ape laid. I think it's a very important. That's also very true. Listen to the audio. Yes. And then on Thursday, we're going to be dropping what will be the season finale of the Mandalorian half hour because the season finale of the Mandalorian is airing this week. And if you haven't been listening to our weekly recaps of every single episode of the Mandalorian, it's really the Mandalorian hour kind of. Yes. Oh, So get on it.

It's a lot of fun. We have a good time. And then Friday. Oh, Thursday night. Oh, actually, you're right. You're totally right. The virtual live show. We are talking Peter Jackson's King Kong.

And we're going to have a very good time. We're going to go bananas with you. And it's 420. You're going to want to hang out with us on 420. Just hang out with your buddies. I'm your best friend. Oh, yeah. Yikes. Is that too close? If you feel uncomfortable, I've been paying Chris Cabin to hang out with me for

He has never showed up pro bono for a birthday party or anything like that. Steve, Steve, stop, stop joking. It's not funny to do that, although it did bounce that the last one did bounce. So just be, just be, you know, I don't want to talk about it, but yeah. If you've, if you've known Chris Cabin for over 20 years, the only way you can get him to come to your birthday party is like a hundred. $1st get out of bed We call it a tax. It's just a A friendship tax. It's just a small thing And then After that, if you are not Aped out, we still have some ape-related content to round out

the month, including for our top tier patrons on once in a lifetime AirBud Entertainment presents SpyMate. This is a monkey that is a secret agent, goes on adventures. surprising on high budget, with some explosions and CG work that are actually look kind of good. It is about as good as the poster promises.

Yeah, I mean, this is about it. What you're looking at here is about it. And I will say, unlike the, unlike the fucking false advertising here with the ape wearing the hat, which does not happen in that movie, you bet your sweet buns that this fucking chimp in this movie

is wearing the suit though. He's what I was kind of trying to go back in my brain on. For one scene I think he's got it for one scene and to what Steve said earlier the one thing that is not on here is Richard Kind holding a gun. He does hold a gun in the movie. I'm so excited about that.

Andrew, could you put the poster up one quick moment again? I want to point something out here. What is going on with these jeans? I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I don't know what's the style at the time ladies and gentlemen which we should we should point out was 2003 when they filmed the movie not to be released on DVD until 2006 yeah so that's going on um but Also, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, but, you're gonna want to want to clear your calendars anyway, because at 8 p.m. Eastern, boom, we are doing a live mail bag. It has been a minute, uh, but we are going to be reading your letters and all that good stuff on the air. It's been a while, but, you know, we use

these things to plug the tour and all that stuff. Yeah. Uh, and get those stories in. Get those stories in. We all hate movies at gmail. We'll even answer questions. We'll even answer questions. What do? What do? What do I'm in? What do I do? Oh, my God. I'm in so much trouble. What do I do? Yeah. Yeah, totally. Like, you know, I owe a lot of money to some big guys. What do I do? If you want to treat us like your own personal dear prudy, we'll do it. Exactly. Take that kind of a fun. That's actually, it's a good idea. Yeah, I'll give bad advice. So all of that going on this week into next gang. crazy stuff. We are going to be hitting the road in a few weeks too. But that's it for on screen live this week. Be sure to like and subscribe down below. Click that notification bell.

Make sure you get updated every time we go live and post new content. Because you don't want to miss it. Because if you start falling behind, you know, you'll never catch up. You'll never catch up. You won't know about poker face. where would we be, dude, dude, how else are you're going to get filled in on these fucking totally fake movies that no one's ever going to see? That's what we're here for, and that's what you don't want to miss. So until next Monday's live, WHM Mailbag at 8 p.m. Eastern, right here on this very channel, I've been Andrew Jupin, Stephen Sadek, Eric Siska, Chris Cabin.

Have a good week, y'all. Bye-bye. That was a hate gum podcast.