We Hate Movies - S14 Ep704: The Devil's Rain (with Ben Worcester)

Episode Date: October 31, 2023

“It is ugly as sin, this amulet… it better protect you from evil, otherwise…” Chris On the final Spooktacular episode of 2023, the guys bring on their beloved bud, Ben Worcester to chat about the unfairly maligned Satanic Panic picture, The Devil’s Rain! Why couldn’t they have Ernest Borgnine in a Hawaiian shirt here at some point? Was this film’s makeup the inspiration for the Shatner Captain Kirk mask that then became the infamous Michael Myers ‘The Shape’ mask? How hilarious/great is that flashback sequence? And did everyone get a good look at Shatner’s belt buckle and wicker cowboy hat combo? PLUS: Is this the meltiest movie of all time?  The Devil’s Rain stars Ernest Borgnine, William Shatner, Eddie Albert, Tom Skerritt, Joan Prather, Keenan Wynn, Woodrow Chambliss, John Travolta, and the legendary Ida Lupino as Emma Preston; directed by Robert Fuest. Be sure you snag your replay ticket for our Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter digital show! Available now through Thursday, November 2nd! Get it before it’s gone for good! Today’s episode is brought to you by Nutrisense! To start decoding your body's messages and pave the way for a healthier life, visit NUTRISENSE DOT COM SLASH WHM and get $30 off your first month and one month of board certified nutritionist support as well. When they ask how you learned about Nutrisense make sure to tell them it was the We Hate Movies podcast! Want more WHM? Join our Patreon fam today and instantly unlock hours and hours of exclusive bonus content, including Ad-Free WHM Prime at the $8 level and up! Be sure to get tickets for the WHM Holiday Extravaganza where we’re talking The Santa Clause! Check out the WHM Merch Store featuring new Polish Decoy, ‘Jack Kirby’, and Forrest the Universal Soldier designs!

This week on the program, we wrap the 2023 Halloween spooktacko with a real demonic banger. It's the devil's rain. I'm Andrew Jupin. I'm Eric's reign. I'm Chris Lucifer. Ben Beazelbub. Yeah, there you go. Oh, perfect. Then we hate movies. sometimes. You know, it's Halloween. I guess everyone's a title of one good scare.

Sometimes, dead is better. The zombies have entered the building. They're at the door. They're coming in. It is time to keep your appointment with the Wickham Ann. They're coming to get you, Barbara. I'm sick for fucks you've seen one too many movies Now sit, don't you blame the movies Movies don't create psychos Movies make psychos more creative

Put the fucking looser in the back That's an excellent day for an exorcism Hello everyone, welcome to We Hate Movies Thank you for tuning in as always That's right We welcome our bud Ben Worcester back to the show How you doing, sir? Oh, gentlemen, good to be back.

The BVW, beloved Ben Worcester's here. Oh, that's right. We're not on camera here, but wearing a hat that literally says beans. That's right. It does. Blue beans wearer also. It also works.

He had a bean dinner and he sauntered on over here to talk to us about the devil's reign, a William Shatner film. That's right. From 1975, directed by Robert Fust, who this guy, if you are a Vincent Price fan

he directed two of the Abominable Dr. Fibbs movies. Oh, really? The first one? The first one and Dr. Fives rides again. And he also did this movie and Soon Darkness, which is like a creepy, like, girls out in the country, one girl goes missing. I mean, this dude

was like... So they're creepy girls that were out in the country? It was the country. No, the country was creepy. Yeah, yeah. But the girls were regular? Uh, girls were pretty regular. Pretty regular, regular ladies. Hippy, you know, hippie, dippy kind of lady oh okay so that's a little something they remade this uh i think with uh your favorite actor uh from uh dread and star trek west carl urban carl urban i think they made it ensuing the darkness

i think that's they did make a remake oh is that right with it and they called it ensuing the yeah yeah yeah i'm almost positive it's carl urban dude i might have to check that out oh i prefer carl rural oh really but you're talking about out in the country yeah i know i don't you're right i don't I like the Urban. I know for a fact that one's a lie. I know that you love Carl Urban. I do like Carl Urban. Ben, what do you think of Carl Urban?

Dread is quite a watch. Hell you. I like it. Yeah. I wish they did another one of those. Me too. Me too. I say it every day.

It's a great movie. I wake up every morning saying it. Wait, what side are you on with this, Chris? I think it's fine. Because Steve Sadek, who's not here today, we should say. He's off worshipping the devil in a burned out country western town right now. As he so often does. He despises that film, man.

He once called me a loser for saying I like it. I don't despise it. I am not as gung-ho about it as others, but I think it's fine. You guys are talking, you're familiar with the work of Robert Fwest. Is that what this guy's? Fused. Fused, which you know. Fused.

What they wanted here was the director that had the name as close to Faust as possible. It's like, look, we got to look. Cook, no, that's not going to work. Linger, no, that's not going to work. Fused. Oh, perfect. This is a movie I realized when I turned it on. I definitely gave this movie a shot once before and straight up passed out before the credits were over with. This movie is so maligned. Everyone says this is one of the worst movies ever made. I think they're crazy. Everyone just tries to watch it when they're blind drunk or way too late at night. Yeah. I mean, it's a quick 85 minutes or something. Just don't watch it as greened out as I was at the time. Had you seen this before, Ben? Absolutely not. This is my third time. Oh, really? Yes, yes. Wow, the three timers club.

Hey, congratulations of being the first person since Robert Fuse to watch this movie three times. I think you just called me a loser. Was this originally on one of like your little Discord movie mania things that you do occasionally? It might have. You know, I think I first saw it because it was Shatner.

And then I think I saw it on one of those. Yeah. Yeah. Not Discord, but yes. Oh, one of them. Yes. One of these internet, one of these illicit broadcasts.

right this is the stream sites that we don't like talking about because we don't want them taken down sorry folks they're out there yeah they're out there and they could but if we could you know pay us for advertising and I'll talk a blue streak so you can you can fucking play

chicken with the copyright infringement any day you like now Ben are you a big Borg9 fan love love Ernie yeah big Ernie I mean I was hoping there'd be a Hawaiian shirt in here at some point but there's no time for that

this movie. The devil goes Hawaiian. I love it. That's the sequel. Yeah, it's Corbus fucking eating a roast pig in Hawaii. Corbus Hawaiian Louau, absolutely. I also love that he's just corbus. Yeah. It's great. I'm fucking great. Unthrown made of pineapple. But remember, this is

accurate, okay? Technical advisor and cameo in the film Anton LeVay. Oh, yeah. Pretty great. Which we all know, the Church of Satan is real and it's all based on no, it's all fake. It's all bullshit. But he probably brought some good ideas. I just want to hear

like I'm sure he was very helpful for this movie but I kind of just want to watch movies with Anton Leve and like have him like be like oh no that's all wrong. That's no that's just absolutely incorrect. No no no no no no. You get one of those like

you know those old disc sets where they license like five or four like random movies to put in a set but it's all devil movies but the difference is in this set Anton LeVay doing commentary. He's also long dead. Well, sure. But he could also

he could comment from beyond the grave. That's true. Dude, yeah. A commentary from beyond the grave that would be the highest selling DVD in all time. If everybody's still checking in, I would bet on Anton. He seems like someone who liked current events and keeping up with things. Oh, yeah. He was a political man, you know? He liked reading the newspaper every morning. He's got a great

look at this movie. He's got that gold helmet on. towards the end with the ceremony. Pretty rad. Pretty red. So, Eric, this was, this was your, you've been carrying the torch for this movie, and I think rightfully so, this is like, like, Andrew to Chud is you to Devil's Rain almost.

Well, I think your history with Chud is a little more storied and longer than mine. I guess so, but just, you know, your history of the film and, and, and, capsule description. Okay, capsule description is this is about, okay, so William Ashatner is descended from a lineage

that portrayed Corbus in like the 1600s and Ernie, I almost said, Ernie Hudson. Ooh, yeah. Gordon, I wish. Although I'll take it. Yeah, please. Borgnine is a fucking, you know, devil-worshipping master.

He's like the Pope of Satan or whatever. Yep. And he's chasing this family through time trying to like kill all their lineage and stuff. It's a lot of fun. But my history with it is, I mean, I only saw it a few years ago. I think it was the pandemic maybe. Yeah. Because I feel like only a few years ago

was when some sort of like acceptable transfer of this movie became available and not like in full on YouTube like VHS trash show. It was probably 2020 and then I watched again a part of some marathon and it's like 85 minutes, why not? And then, you know, I was pushing it for actually a little inside baseball for if listener request

month last year, this past year didn't I guess this year, 2023. Still 23. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, Christ. Oh, time. Corbis is chasing you, too. March feels like six years ago.

Yeah, it's okay. Episode 666 fell on listener request month. If it had not, I was pushing for this movie to be episode 666. Yes, this would be a good one. Which would have been a correct one. Yeah. What do we do for 666 instead? The covenant.

Oh, sure. That's the witches and the devial in a way. The new metal witch. A movie that you definitely remember. That's for sure. You remembered so much. I didn't remember. that that's what we did

666. I love the start of this movie where you're just watching Hieronymus Bosch paintings over the opening credits. That dude loved painting The Seven Deadly Sins, that guy. That's hell right there. That's what it looks like. It's a fucking your little bodies being cut in half

and put inside a chicken. That's hell, man. Was that all the same Bosch painting? I think so. I think so. Was it all the same one? I wasn't sure. It does seem like the same. I think it's the one I'm... But the credit of it, says like intro credit paintings by Hieronymus Bosch. It's possible. I didn't keep two, but it looked

like all the same tints like the red background. It's just like it is a great where's Waldo of fucked up devil shit happening? Oh and they were taking their time with that too. They were not rushing through those opening credits. They were showing you everything. Everything which is great. Dude, give me all the time with these paintings. Yeah. Yeah, hilarious dudes getting stuffed in chickens. People getting thrown into bottomless pits, speared with shit. Oh, I hate these ones. He always

hides in plain sight. Is he near the boy being split in half? No. Dude, yeah, spot the devil. Where's Satan? Is he on the boat near where the shark is eating the man? No. So we got Ernest Borgne top credit in the movie.

God bless him. Before the title, right? He's before the title. Yeah. And then we got Shat as a co-starring, William Shatner, he's like the first one out of the gate there, which I was kind of surprised about, but at this point, yeah, not too great. We hadn't yet made the first Star Trek

the motion picture. No, T.J. Hooker yet, obviously. This is a real, am I going to wake up dead tomorrow? That's, I kind of feel like Scarritt is more of the lead here. Like, Shatner gets some extra time up top, which is kind of, but

it seems like he really, he brings the ball into the touchdown. I want, You're right. I agree. And you wonder if you would have gotten more Shatner if for not the fact he left production for two days to go to a Star Trek convention in New York City. That's how much he hated making this movie. He was like, yeah, I'll do the convention. I'm done with this fake devil stuff. I'm going to go where the real evil is. Bring me and all the real monsters. You're going to brand me. Oh, dude, he definitely gets branded in this movie. I'm ready for it. Put it right on the tuckuskis. It's crazy, man, because not only Borg9 in this movie, you have Ida Lupino,

another Hollywood legend. Wild. Very weird to see her showing up in dingy 1970s horror movies, but everybody gets old. Hey, everybody gets to have something. Like, that's what I find what I find funny about Ernest Bordenine is

like everybody, at least from like a Hollywood history point of view, like everybody remembers him as Marty, the very cute, very shy Brooklyn boy. In the titular film, Marty, who can't get a date and, like, is, you know, a romantic hero in a lot of ways. But then, like, I remember forgets that, like, everything else he did.

He was always evil. Like, he was just not all the time. Just disgusting, though. Often evil and almost unusually disgusting. So that, like, stuff like this and, like, when he comes back in later years and he's always a villain in this kind of way, he's usually, like, in charge of some evil town. Well, because. In, um, he's got a great cackle. Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's the laugh. It's awesome, which he uses a lot in a movie where he's not a villain, but he is a scumbag, escaped from New York. Oh, he's the cab driver and escape from New York, and he's, but he's still a scumbag, even though he's kind of got a heart of gold. I got to say in this movie, not a ton of the Ernest Borgon laugh, which was a little disappointing. Yeah, that's true. You trade that in, you see.

You don't have the laugh, but you have. And this is really what should be getting the top billing. You get goat, Borgnine. Right. A be horned earned his board nine. With some porcine qualities as well. I feel like he was

kind of like pig demon. The noises sound more pigish. But the face is all goat. Yeah. To me. It would be cool if you had a curly cute tail, though. Yeah. Show me what's going on in the behind. Yes. That would be like, stop pulling it. If he had the must

and the pitchfork, you could have got the cackle. Oh, yes, if he's laughing as the devil, like, I got you now. I did Lupino, by the way, just wanted to mention, as far as, like, she was a great, like, Golden Age Hollywood actress. She also directed a bunch of incredible director. One of the ones, it's totally great, and you would really like it. It's called The Hitchhiker. Really good. It's two dudes just pick up a fucking murderer who's a hitchhiker, and, like, he's just in their car the whole time.

I think I saw this. What year is this in the 40s or 50s? I think I might have seen this actually. Suspensful. 53. Yeah, I think I've seen this. It's good. Directed one of the first depictions in Hollywood of an abortion or straight on abortion movie called Not Wanted. Very good. I do appreciate that up front in the credits, they are like technical advisor, Anton LeVay.

Oh, yeah. High priest of the Church of Saint. It's all like right there in the opening credits. Like this movie, unsurprisingly, not released by a major distributed. movie house of any kind. And I wonder if that's the reason why a lot of people went hard on this movie when it came out. I know it's a shorter movie and certain

things feel padded or maybe it feels a little dull here and there. But the fact that you're paying the Church of Satan is that why Roger Ebert put this on his most hated movie list? I mean, I told you, man, Ebert was a hardcore Catholic boy. Which is

crazy. You know, I'm sure this movie he was just like, nope. Sorry. You know what I I read most of his review. He basically just tells you the entire movie, including the ending. Really? Yeah, I'm like, why are you telling us the ending? That is the worst kind of film criticism, man.

When you are like really patting it with like the plot of the film, come on, Raj. Do bet. I know it was 1975. I feel like he was, I read his review. He was approaching it from a broad perspective and not from like an enthusiast's perspective. Well, yeah, you know, like he's expecting like polish. And, like, that's, I'm like, why, why would you expect that from this film? Are you out of your fucking mind?

The opening credit says, like, it's not this, but it's like a movie house LLC production. Like, of course it's not going to be polished. And apparently Borgnine claims that this movie was financed with mafia money and he never got paid. Oh, well, the mafia ripped him off. That's surprising. He said this in like 2010. So I don't know if he even remembered this movie when he said that. I think it's amazing that someone was asking him about this movie in 2010, though.

What was it for? I don't. It was some IMDB trivia. It's probably just a... Some fan convention fucking poll quote. Yeah. I got him to say it. And then as I walked away, I heard him saying, wait, that's not the one, but it was too late. He'd already weighed in? Ah, the devil's reign. Yeah, yeah. That was a Western version of Shakespeare's Othello. That's Jubal. What? What's that? That's Jubal.

What? No, that's the devil's reign. I remember that very clearly. It's just insane if it's true that he has top billing and never got a dime off of this. Yeah, that's pretty shitty. Come on. No, if we can't trust the mafia, Satan, who can we trust? Exactly. Come on. Does seem like a good pairing, though, right off the back. They should make more. They should start up again. Get the boys back together, you know? Get them out of the nursing home. Yes, it's true.

It's not, what I find interesting about this movie is it's not 100% like super, anti the church of Satan in any stretch of the imagination. It seems pretty good to me. It's like, it's, the movie's like, well, Tom Scarrant has a problem with it. You know what I mean? But like that's versus like, I don't know, another devil thing we just covered this month like the exorcist, right? That movie is very much positioned as like Satan is evil. The, you know, the power of Christ compels you to cast down Satan and all that stuff.

This movie's like, well, it could be a good hang unless somebody fucks it up for you. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, isn't that kind of where we're at? now. I mean, I feel like if you hung out with Satanists, they'd be kind of like cool, cool dudes.

Everybody's looking at, have pleasure such as it is. They're wise asses. That's what they are. They like a good ribbing. If you've ever seen the documentary Penny Lanes, Hail Satan, yes. Interesting watch.

It's about Satanists today. They're still cracking. They're still doing their thing. And that's the thing. And that's the thing. they seem like they're kind of pranksters. They like being like, oh, really? Well, how about this? Kind of stuff to everybody in general.

They challenge a lot of stuff. They seem like they're doing good work. But like this is, of course, what I'm always looking for is Satanists in the traditional sense. Right. We're killing kids. Yep. We're drinking blood. We're taking souls.

We're in robes and whatnot. I don't want these do-gooders satanists. It's fine that they're out there. No, it's not. I agree with you. You're a traditionalist. in my movies at least I want to see them doing their Satan stuff

I don't want to see them you know going to fucking Congress what? Who got elected? No they go there to like petition things and like petition you know for different it's I mean it's a lot of it is like oh you say you're so Christian but what's you're feeling

on blah blah blah oh really that's pretty anti-Christian if you ask like it's a lot of that like they have a good they have a good amount of fun like poking holes in like Christian. People who claim to be Christian, but it's like fuck the poor and fuck refugees

and all this shit. It's like Captain Kirk talking a computer to death, you know, it's like, yeah, I guess you're, oh fuck, I'm dead. But it's some like, yeah, it's some dumbass evangelical so it takes like two seconds to do it. So we open, we meet Ida Lupino as Mrs. Preston. It's a dark and stormy night

like setting this real great. Wait, are you saying that it's raining outside? Oh, it is. But right now, I think this is just Jesus. Jesus rain. It's regular rain. I mean, I sat down and I thought, oh, all right. You're giving us the rain right away. Geez, they kind of rushed the devil's rain. You know, you can take long. Is this about a flood that was really bad? Is that why it's called the devil's right?

Man, no, you would not believe it. Yeah, we called the rain Bruce and the fucker never worked. It just broke down every time we tried to do the final scene with Robert Shaw. Every fucking time, the rain just broke down. It wouldn't work. I think some issue people have is like the start the start of this kind of feels very playy. Well, it's also very like we are dipped right into a situation

that we don't know anything about. Right. It's like Shatner runs into the house. By the way, completely dry. What's that? Sure. Dressed exactly like my father every day of his life from about 1973 to sometime in 1995. Like just

a flannel shirt. crisp flannel and just a pair of dungeries. The only thing my dad was missing was the big belt buckle that Shatner's got in this movie. And the only thing that Shatner was missing from my dad was a killer mustache. So did your dad have this hat?

He's this fucking beautiful hat. Oh, this wicker cowboy hat? No, my father did not have that. But it's amazing. Father's Day's coming up. It's a fashion statement. Oh, I stopped buying gifts for my father on Father's Day a decade ago at least.

When I saw, I bought him a John Wayne DVD box that. I saw him using it as a fucking coaster one time. I was like, that's the end of it gives for you. Just a hard salami after that. Something you know he's going to use. He even stopped drinking, dude. So booze is out of the question. It's really, you know, some cheese and meats maybe.

Or a steak or something. Yeah, I don't know. The man's very hard to buy it for. Listen, folks out there, feed your father's meat. It's true. Cheese and steaks. By hand. Yeah, yeah. Just feed your father with your hands with meat.

Like, you are a traditional Satan. That sounds very. Yeah, yeah, you gotta go back, man. You can't just with this newfangles. You must feed your father with your own hands of Satan. You chew it for him? No, you move the jaw for them if you have to. Oh, you get a baby bird.

Oh, you want to do it. You got to eat the steak and puke it into your father's mouth. See, Eric, I'm not going to tell you how to do it for you. That's good that you have that system. I'm going to do it my way. I'm just dropping pieces of meat in my father's mouth. Can you ever puke in your father's mouth? That's not for this episode.

It's a trusted space. It's a safe space to talk about such things, Ben, if you need to. Really? Yeah. Hey, if you have to. I've been wanting to get this off my chest then. You're all very supportive. Back in the summer of 85.

It was the summer of 85. And I just finished eating the biggest T-bone steak. I was like gear up dad I was four years old No no Ben Worcester is older than us Ben Worcester is 78 years old Oh really I was not aware I'm sorry

Yeah well you know it's the It's that young blood Yeah you do one or two of these rituals And that's right Definitely not drinking enough blood in this movie I agree I agree yeah I mean instead of blood What we get in this movie is like that weird

Like ooze There's a lot of ooze There's a lot of oozing. You know, I did not expect this movie to be as oozy as it is. Very oozy. This is fucking devil's rain colon secret of the ooze. It's true because you don't expect it with when you know it starts out. He's coming in from the rain.

Oh, no sign of the truck. Oh, Simpson's Bridge has been taken out. Yes. They're waiting. Ida Lupino is worried that the father has not come home yet. She's worried about something staring out at the stormy night in, in barges Shatner. Yes. she's been having dreams that like

the father ate shit at one point you kind of gather she doesn't give the whole dream but she's like oh you know Shatner my son you know this this is how my dream played out and your father oh you know and then this dude comes home they also have

I guess because it's like a desert farm kind of thing they have this old timer John John who just yes is at the house also but that's not the dad or the grandfather I mean he's just a guy He's just a slow guy they live with. I think that's husband number two.

I think we're not going to talk about it much, but Ida Lupino's got to have two there. Back up cock. Yeah, I mean, come on. The guy's looking okay. Back up. Yeah, the guy was the guy's like barely coherent and I guess. But he is protective. I mean, when the, when the, when they assault the house, he does try to keep. Well, he gets a good though.

It gets slammed. He doesn't do much. He's a frail old man. He gets strung up pretty easily. But first. The father comes home with the empty eyes. And it's like, that's not your father.

And he tells them he's like, Corbus is out in the desert waiting for his book. Give him what belongs to him is what this dude says. And then he drops dead and starts melting in front of the eyes. And this is where I was like,

I was like, I'm so fucking keyed into this movie right now. Like this old dude just dropped dead and he's, oh, what's that? He's melting. thumbs up. This is why I thought it was actually the devil's rain because I thought the rain was melting him. Oh, like, so like it's an environmental like acid rain

message movie. Meanwhile, he's putting on his wicker cowboy hat and it's like, we'll probably do better than that. I would definitely do that right after I watched my dad die. I'd be like, where's my fancy wicker hat? He's going to go out and give Corbus a talking to. But he'll never give him that book. Not once. This humongous book, I would not be referring to this thing as a book. This is a tome.

This is a 100% of a tomb. The book is inside the house, right? Yes, it's buried in the floor. It's like, I pointed at the screen, I was like, a necronomicon. We got us a necronomicon situation here. Don't read from that sucker, huh? Oh, my. I was like, are we, is this going to veer into evil dead territory?

I was hoping. I wish the book was spookier or it was like a spell book, but it's just a ledger of the souls corpus is cool. It's a total McGuffin. Like it's not used for anything. It's just something he likes. It's like a sole accountant ledger. We just have it there in the movie that like

pages start getting added of people who he's taken since. It's just kind of cool and converted. He did a bunch of he seems to be working. I get that. I guess it's valuable in the sense of like if you are trying to fight this group of people you know the list of all the people that have been

turned. Right. Yeah. You know because that's what it is. You need to know who you can trust in the new world order. Yeah. And it's like here's all the people that Ernest Borgnine has converted

into this cults over the years. So you find the book and you're like, oh shit, I guess I can't trust Martin Fife in 1638 or... Oh, that guy. Yeah,

you don't want to cross that guy. Any of his kids, you know what? They're going to let you burn alive. They're not going to do anything to stop you from burning alive. I do love like Shatner's like, I'm going to go out to Redstone

and show him what it's life. or whatever. And, like, Ida Lupino's like, no, you can't go out there or whatever. And Shatner just cocking this gun. And he's like, oh, settle this on my own terms. I think John, the slower guy there is like, that old man in town, it's Godforsaken. It's a ghost town. It's almost like this is half a Western. It, I mean, it is. This is, I think, the Hollywood's only Western Satanist movie. Yes. Which adds just, I mean, to kind of, interject because I know it was mentioned earlier about the polish or lack of polish

like the western elements I found actually kind of polished in a sense like some of the shots are composed where like it looks really pretty I'll tell you this movie shot really well it's bizarre the production design here is really great like they just built this old

timey western town in the middle of wherever they shot this and not only that they built a New England style church later on the character Julie's like that's not supposed to be. Right. Yeah, that shouldn't be here. Do you think like if it was a, if it was like a Southwestern church, Corbus couldn't get there because it's like, oh, that's, we're the devil guys. Those are El Diablo. It's a little different. He needs those Puritan vibes in there. Exactly. But that's what's cool about it too. It's like you got this

old West town with a New England church in it. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's it's a devil stuff. Honestly, you're mixing those kind of cultures. That's not good. It's like It's like seeing a modern house next to a colonial bone chili. I'm just going to vomit right now. Gag. No, but it is when you realize

what the whole deal is, it's like actually kind of cool because it's like people who have like, I don't know if Borgnion is supposed to have been alive that whole time, but it's like maybe reborn or whatever. And it's like, yeah, I think it's reborn.

They left their like, you know, pilgrim-esque New England area and were driven way out. His soul is jumping or whatever. Yeah. How do we know if Corbus has really been born into our beautiful new child, James? Well, I don't know. Why don't you tick him a little bit?

Oh, our two-year-old is cackling like the leader. Oh, man. He drew blood while breastfeeding. It's Corbus all right. Dude, if your baby laughs like Ernest Borgne, you get it to a priest immediately. I don't know what else to tell you. That kid's going to have problems. But so this pickup truck pulls up in the middle of the storm.

And they're like, oh, that's dad's truck. Shatner races out there. Uh-oh. No one is in the truck, but like a little wax doll pinned to the steering wheel. And you're like, oh, that can't be good. And then like, Shatner hears screaming from inside the house and he runs back in. And like, these devil worshippers, man, they are pretty efficient with their timing. Like this house is fucked up. Oh, yeah.

This old timers strung up upside down by his feet. He goes out to the truck and it's sort of like a voodoo doll type of thing. Right. Of the mother. And then the house is being tossed and it almost feels. feels like a poltergeist thing because you don't see anyone do it. Right. Then suddenly this John guy's tied up upside down and they cut him down.

He's like, oh, where's my mother? She's, she's gone over the sun. Your mother's gone over the sun. I love that expression for a guest going to heaven. Yeah. She's gone up over the sun. Mr. Tuilliger. Mom going to heaven, Mr. Turwillinger.

Oh, cousin Burl, really. I like that all this happened, like the dad melts. And then they just, they go back inside. Yeah. And just start talking about what to do next. Shatner grabs his gun. Yeah. Goes outside.

Meanwhile, the puddle of the father is just sort of like, it's fine. Do they do a cut back to that puddle? Wipe your feet. They cut back to a shot of that puddle at one point. And it's like, bleep. Like, it's like, yeah, I'm still here. Blab.

Oh, get ready. Because there's going to be a lot more. focused shots on puddles. It's melting. Puddle Paloza the last 10 minutes of this movie. And I mean, you have to imagine these puddles smell like shit. Oh, yeah.

I mean, I know you're washing it away, so that's nice. It's a melted person. Yeah, yeah. And it's a fake, you know, it's not a real person, I guess. Whatever this. Whatever, yeah, I don't know. There was a debate of that and Shatner was like, it had its, it's had his face,

it had his clothes. It looked like father. Somehow it's made out of a green and red goo. I don't know how, but it is. There is a great, like, you know, we just recorded the November nexus episode on Search for Spock. Yeah.

Where Kirk yells, you cling on bastards, you kill my boys, screaming like that. Dude, in this movie, there's more shat and screaming, he's like, Corbin!

God damn you! That reminded me of Khan, the con screen. Yeah, he's been working on it. He's many, years. There's some shouts to the heavens. There's also like, you know, cries of agony. There's just great Shatner moments in this. One, I feel like as, you know, the T.J. Hooker fellow squad car member here. Don't want to gloss over that, I mean, this is just a little moment, but I appreciated

it. One moment, like, he took, I guess his mom, right? Yeah. He took his mom and kind of like, like, gave her a little shoulder shake. Oh, yeah. Snap out of it. I was like, yeah. It's like, yeah. There's Billy. Cut the shit. Cut the shit. But yeah. And then this old timer, John, he's Shatner's cutting him down and this guy started screaming about they had no

faces. They had no faces. That's kind of like the only thing he's saying. No, John, but that's inaccurate. They have no eyes. They do very clearly have faces. I spent my entire life thinking the word facemen eyes. I was not to

The face was the window to the soul. I was calling the face, the eyes, and the eyes, the face. I didn't know why everyone was laughing at me. I spent too much time looking at that Haramia's Bosch picture. There's so many faces on there. Now I know. I thought everybody got stuffed inside a chicken. I don't want to turn into a red and green goo man.

Mr. Wicker hat. As far as I know, he doesn't. I think he just gets killed. We do, whoa. Does he get murdered in this movie? He looks bloody as shit the last time I saw him. I don't know if he's actually dead. Oh, I don't know.

Cut me down, please. This is embarrassing. I feel all the blood rushing to my eyes. Shatner cuts him down. It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll be back. And then he's off to Redstone. Yes, it's like the next morning.

You know, morning comes, you know, we've been dealing with this all throughout the night or whatever. The storm has passed. that's dawn. Shatner decides he's going to drive up to Redstone. I love Shatner driving this shitbox, like, station wagon car. Oh man. It is a real clunker that he's got in this movie. It's kind of great. We got some like Badlands-esque landscape shots. There's some gorgeous ass shots in this movie. I'm telling you, it's polished.

And it did, it felt like to me a big transition too, which made that all the more funny because it was like, yeah, I'll be right back. And then I didn't necessarily know that where we started with all the rain, that they were already kind of in the desert. Close enough. Close enough. But it felt like to me like he drove across the country. He just, I'll be right back. And then stay right here.

I just got to get to Nebraska. But yeah, it's great. And he drives into Redstone, which is just this abandoned town that I think at the beginning he'd been saying like, oh, I'm just going to go out to Redstone. And John, the crazy old timer there had been like, no, you can't do that. Too spooky. It's Godforsaken. Yeah, exactly. But so Shatner drives out.

Yeah, all these like abandoned, you know, old West buildings. The church is spectacular. I mean, all of this is really great. And like, based on where it is, I'm like, either the production, like, built this or this was, like, leftover filming locations from something else that had run down and they were, like, perfect. Yeah, I was guessing something like that. Spawn Ranch. Yeah, could have.

Right? Yeah. But this is where you. see him wearing this wicker cowboy hat and hot damn is it stupid like but it's so awesome at the same time and you know what the perfect like accompaniment to that is the big giant amulet that his mom gave him let's not forget that yes she's like yeah wear this around your neck at all times they can't hurt you

bad advice mom well also he should flavor flave sized like brass amulet like this thing is yeah boy Oh my god I love it It's ugly as sin this amulet I mean like it better protect you from fucking evil Otherwise he gets tricked into taking it off basically But oh you're right you're right

This is where we get Borg9 coming out to meet him And Shatner's trying to get water out of this like And what I love about this is like Corb is just it's like dust Yeah that Corbish shows I killed me. He shows up and it's suddenly working

because he uses devil shit. It's freaky. And then he gives him the old like, well, Shatner, first of all, in like, this was like out of like chaplain or something like that. Like he's kind of, works the pump and dust comes out.

Just dust shooting out of it. I just, I laugh. Here's my thing about what's going on here. So it's like a trough, you know, for the water to fall in water pumping. There's like this tiny like coffee cup or like a mug. just like sitting on the edge of the trough and I was like,

was this like the village mug? Like everybody come take a drink? No, yeah. Hi, yeah. This is Ernest doing the commentary for the film. That's Tom's mug. He forgot it there. He wasn't even filming that day.

But Tom decided that would be the best place to leave a little mug. So what we did was we used it as a urinal for the entire shoot. And then Tom took it home and drank for them. We never told him. Find it out now. Take that, scare it. Did the green tea taste good? But when Shatner drinks of the water, it's bitter.

But it's sweet after such a long thirst, isn't it? Which is great. It's such a fucking devil line. It's like, yeah, it's bitter, but it's better than nothing. The devil is better than nothing. It's bitter. That's because it's my urine. My urine is all around these houses here.

Oh, yeah, William Shatner. You enjoy in the water. There's taste a little bitter, doesn't it? Yeah. That was the working title for this movie. The Devil's urine. I don't know how we can sell a movie to theaters with the title is devil piss. It's your God who has to clear blue stuff that tastes good.

I have the yellow bitter stuff. I like this concept that God is pissing on us and we're drinking the beautiful piss. It's way from being a kid. clear and blue and angelic and we call it water. He's well hydrated. Yes. That's right. No asparagus in that. I'm not smelling nothing. The Lord hates asparagus,

dude. Absolutely. He's like, I should have never created that. That's embarrassing. But he loves pineapple so his cum tastes good. Yeah. Anyway. The juices too, yeah. So Borg 9 and Shatner kind of get into it a little bit here. And it's a weird, like again, the movie

the movie knows more than we know at this point because Shatner is just like yes whatever I go up against in there I know that my faith is going and it's like he knows whatever he's about to like do or whatever party he's about to crash and like us as the audience are like well what are you facing in there

what the hell are you talking about? That's kind of confusing and I saw some reviews saying the plot is incomprehensible. That's not true. It's not true. No. You just didn't, you were on your phone the whole movie and then when you wrote your Rotten Tomatoes review, you

sounded like a morrow. Just because it's stupid doesn't mean that it wasn't done. It was done. It's just very stupid. It's fine. Corbus is like, where is the book away from you, devil? Right. After this little water Tedda, Ted, it's like, okay,

I'm talking to the devil right now. Let's get down to business. Where's my book? And he basically, Shatner challenges him to a faith off. Which is so ridiculous. my notes, Eric. And the whole thing is like, oh, if I win, I get

my parents back to life and they come with me or whatever. Right. And if you lose, the book. And you. Yes, Borgnan's in you. Oh, yeah. Pretty great. I gave you my piss. I was the nicest man to you. Now come to me and bring me my fucking book. Did I not quench you when you suffered from Thaised? I didn't laugh when I sawed a hat on your head.

Isn't that nice of me? I got out to church. I looked right at your belt buckle and I was in my head thinking, man, that's stupid. But I didn't say anything to you, did I? I was going to call you a Trek boy. I didn't do it.

Didn't do it. But so they go into the church here and this is where you see. I mean, this is a great set right here. I love this church. I love the stained glass. Oh, face, whatever you have behind those doors. It's pretty great.

That's a good line. It's a satanic temple is what they've turned the church into Borgnine does kind of have to feel cocky about this though. You've got this young man who comes up looking for water and afford presto and like

you're supposed to be like oh yeah this is the guy who's going to slay me of course like no shut the fuck up. But that's what's weird right is like we don't know at the start of the water pump scene that Borgnion

is the character Jonathan Corbus that they've been talking about. But like we learn after the fact that like clearly Shatner knows who that dude was like immediately when he got there. He knew that he was facing Corbus. He knows what Corbus looks like.

Like it was a mystery to the audience. It's not a mystery to any of the characters. This has been like a long, indeed like centuries running. Yes. You know, the flashback coming up really sets the record straight on that. Right. So it's like, you know,

the faith off, such as it is, is basically like who can do like the best praying all of these like accolites you know these like dudes and hoods and whatever like doing some sort of satanic chant and Shatner just sits down in this pew and starts just doing the our father

the Lord put the Lord's fair here. You've got to pull out some bigger stuff if you're fighting with the devil's main minion you got to get some like really niche stuff. Stuff I haven't heard before. Am I fighting the devil? Well, then I'll say grace. Thank the Lord for the food.

The bitter water. Thanks for the grub. That's all you're going to do. I would get used to the taste of my piss. Because you're going to be having it for quite some time. No shock. He loses his faith up. He does have a good line.

I do have to say, I mean, yeah, he does our father, heart and heaven stuff. But at one point he grabs, I'm big on the amulet. He grabs the amulet and he says, Be my shield against the terrors of hell. Yes, that's not too bad. It's shabby. There's also, I was, because, you know,

the Lord's Prayer, again, it is like the greatest hit of Christian prayer, right? You know, Our Father Heart in Heaven, yada, yada. I swear, though, Shatner added in like a verse that we never did growing up because I was like, oh, did he switch it? But then it went back to the Our Father. And I was like, oh, you're doing like the hidden lyrics

that nobody gives a shit about. Shatner. This is some hardcore stuff. I had not heard the part from the Bible that says William Shatner deserves more leading roles in Hollywood. Hallow be thy name. At least do like the Hail Mary or something, dude. If it's

the one that I can remember in full, you're not doing a good job fighting the devil. Look, everybody's heard God only knows. You got to do another song. Not the most famous fucking one. All right. All right. Fine. I will send you back to hell, demon.

Help me Rhonda. Help, help me, Rhonda. Gotta get her out of my heart. Oh, you're still here? Oh, fuck. Some people know that one. Not all people know that. So, you know, that's fine. It's not hold on to your ego or nothing. It's not the real crazies yet. Sure. Oh, great tune. By the way, that's all. I'm picking up bad vibrations. It should be noted, too, that Borg9, you know, when we see, first see him, he's, in the cowboy outfit, just like Shadner. As soon as we get in that church, there is just, he's in full reds. Oh, yeah. He is in

full reds. He's got his organ and everything. Oh, my God. The guy playing the organ up there pretty great. I have to say, also like just another bit of props for this production, it's lit so well in this church. Yes. Like, it understands, like, the movie

understands it's okay to have theatrical lighting and not like drawing for realism. Like, I'm sorry. When all these motherfuckers, especially making horror movies nowadays, are trying for realism, it translates to, I can't see your movie. Well, that's Jason, that's

Paul Greengrass, that's Platinum Dunes shit. Like, that was all like you're, it's not only the realism, it's urgency. It's like the feeling that you are there, right there, there is no distance between you and these actions at all. Which is so dumb because it's like, I know

I'm at the movies, man. They can look artistic in some way. To me, that just makes it feel more distant when you got like a shaky camera and you're trying to be frantic and I'm just like, well, that's not how I live my life. No, I don't. But like, I'm not running around. I'm seeing the art in life. Oh, that's a beautiful lamp. If you were in a horror movie, if you were in a horror movie, I don't know, maybe not you, but most people in a horror movie would be running around in shaky cam vision. I guess so. For me, it's a rom-com. So, you know, Shatner gets outprayed here, hardcore.

he kind of like stands up knowing he's sort of defeated he runs into uh oh here's mom i did lupino no fucking eyes in her head and she gives a great like giant ass and he kind of freaks out runs like out of the church right here as they all sort of chase after him oh one oh right he pulls that pistol right you're right shoots one and corbus has a great line is this your faith yeah yeah i feel like that that's when he lost was when he had to resort to fighting on his own turns. Right, exactly. It is the first of at least two, maybe three

times in this movie that Ernest Borg9 yells Sees him. I love that. A good, like a modern day set movie where someone is yelling sees him, pretty fantastic. I love it. The key problem with having a faith off between William Shatner and Ernest Borgnine is that

means essentially it's an acting off between Ernest Borgnine and William Shatner. Guess who's winning? I love Shatner and all but it's Ernest fucking Borg Nighter is great though I love cheese and all

ham and all but he does have some great moments maybe not in this film but The intruder he's great it Oh my God That's a great movie Oh hell yeah Yeah

The guy he shoots in the belly I want to focus on that for a sec Because we do see more of this like Those hell slurry Come out Yes And it's like Is that part of the converting process that, like, your internal chemistry turns into this paste?

I think so. We reveal later on that, like, these people are now inhabited by souls of loyalists to Corbis. Like, he's putting someone in that body. And I guess that just makes the fucking work. The pipes go to shit. I don't know. Oh, is he the problem? You got a crooked soul in there.

That's why you're pissing green. No, yeah. Demons don't have nothing, no use for aesthetics. They just fuck up the whole place. You know, your kidneys, your liver, your liver's your heart. It's all just a bunch of muck down there. So Shatner runs out of the church. He's like, I'm still free, Corbus. And then this is where he gets tricked. Because Corbus is like, oh, yeah, you're really nice amulet, huh? Take a look at it now. And it turns into a snake, which is pretty sweet. And then he's scared and throws it off. Dude, leave it. Leave it. Yeah. That part was fantastic. Because you get like a little, like a little jump, you know, transformation. It's a jump effect from like a cheap Star Trek episode, honestly. And then, of course, Shatner's like, oh, it's great. He has a freak out. I think when Borgnine turns it into to a snake, he yells, behold as well.

Oh, nice. Which is another great thing to yell. Sees him and behold. I don't, I think we only get a quick flash of goat Borgnine here. You don't get the full one quite yet. Yeah, I think you just get like a flash of it. Like a fight club, you know, porn in the kids movie frame. There's like a steady cam here or something going.

Like Shatner's running. Yes. The shot is great. It's better than 1917. It is. It's a great like Shatner tries to run away from them. Yeah. And they're chasing him. And like there's a car. Yeah. A camera mounted on it driving ahead of Shatner.

Yes. And it's it's great because the car's moving pretty fast. Shatner's like going as fast as he can. Oh, he's hedgehoging. It's great. The little hedgehog run of his. It's awesome. Get me my gold rings.

I must have all of my gold rings. Comtails, let's go. Boy! So that it sort of cuts like right in the middle of all that crazy, creepy action to like a medical lecture that's going on. And we're introduced to Tom Scarrett here as Tom, which is nice and convenient.

He's a doctor along with the dude from Green Acres as this other guy. Alan or what is this guy's name? Oh, I forget. Sam, maybe. Yes, Sam is the character's name. Eric, you told me going into this,

it's Shatner, Borgnine, you know, I didn't look at the IMDB page before I started watching it. Scarrett one of, this movie just keeps giving you like, what? Yeah. Who is that?

There's several of them. There's more to come. Absolutely. But yeah, so this is, Scarrett, his character Tom and this other guy, Sam, are these doctors that I guess are talking about, like, I didn't really understand this, but it's some sort of like mental control where you can, if you learn how to harness this internal power that we all have or whatever, like you can do ESP. You can harness telekinetic powers. It's kind of like you can harness the satanic magic through medicine. Come to our free lecture. Yes. And $35 for tickets after this one. But the free lecture today. You will learn how to do ESP. And then so Scarrett has his wife, Julie, played by Joan Prather,

sort of laid out on the table here. And she's like in some sort of trance talking about what it feels like to do all this stuff. Now, we should say, by the way, Joan Prather, a little bit of interesting trivia about this lady. Oh, yeah. So apparently on the set of this film,

she introduced John Travolta to Scientology. You're telling me John Travolta is in this movie. Yes. That's in the movie. he's in the movie he is in the movie so I think there's a big joke about like it's a cult movie with a cult in it and

John Travolta joined a cult during it yeah the Satanist cult is not the worst part of this film Scientology hanging over its head I mean congratulations Joan Prather for ruining that man's life and ruining his fucking Travolta's yes

well for Scientology they run Hollywood you gotta be that or you know it was good for a while It was worse when he needed Pitbull to tell him it's okay to be bald. No, not the career shit, man. It's like, didn't fucking invest in seizure medication for his son, who died of a seizure. His wife, also a Scientologist, died of breast cancer because they don't believe in that shit. And it's because this woman fucking gave him this book on the side of this movie.

To be fair, doctors are annoying. You go there. Oh, put on, take off your clothes and put this on. let me put a cold stethoscope there. Oh, yeah, you're dying. A million dollars, please. What does Scientology do? You eat a banana. You'll be fine. I mean, okay. Yeah, that seems easier. A banana a day keeps the Zeno away. What they say famously. Yeah, you definitely won't drop dead of a seizure near your father's plane. I mean, all the serious reasons. Yes, they're terrible. But folks, John Travolta barely in the movie, blinking, you miss it. Yeah, you really. He's in like freak makeup only. But, yeah.

I'm pretty sure. Technically, his first feature film. That's right. I believe that's the case. I think the trivia says it's his film debut. Maybe he had television prior. Well, of course, welcome back. Welcome back.

There you go. Hey, Mr. Carter. Yeah, yeah, we got the kid from Cotter to be a freak. Yeah.

Yeah. We got him. Can you believe that would be a devil? I've actually never seen Welcome Back Cotter. It's, you know, a bunch of, it's an old TV show. No, it's mostly garbage, but it's fine. Mr. Cotter went to the school.

He comes back to teach at it, hence the welcome back. Yeah. You know, like Horshack, you know, he was one of the... In the 80s and 90s, they made like 100 movies about this same exact thing. What were they called in that? They were the sweat hogs? The sweathawks. I think that sounds right.

That sounds one of the, like, the group of kids and... Oh, I forget. I don't remember. Maybe the sweathogs were part of something else. Do we think David Miscavage has seen the devil's reign? Oh, yeah, probably. He's a man who does his research. Yeah, it's like, I want to see the projects of all my pretty children.

He's a man of amulets. Yeah, he saw the little like, that dude will wear your amulet. He saw the Lily Tomlin movie. He saw this one. He saw all the early Travolta. I just checked it out. Yes, Travolta, he was in a few TV shows guest appearances. And then this is the debut.

Had he done the TV movie Boy in the Plastic Bubble at this point or no. No, no. Oh, okay. Before this. all he has done was an episode of emergency, an episode of Owen Marshall Consul at Law Counselor at Law

Whatever that is, the rookies which is actually kind of a proto T.J. Hooker. Hey now. Stay tuned. Nightmare the TV movie. He plays man outside store. Nice. Oh, of course. A appearance on a show called Medical Center. It looks like a

ER kind of show. Devil's Rain. Then he let's see. If this is 75, Carrie's got to be right around the corner. Carries around the corner. I'm skipping some... Then, boy in the plastic bubble is the same year as Carrie, then Saturday Night Fever. Okay, which 77?

And then... Yes. So, okay, because Welcome Back Cotter ended later, so they shifted up on the IMDB. Oh, got it. So he started to star on Welcome Back Cotter the same year this movie came out. Got it. Okay.

75. So he's off and running now. Yeah. but yeah so whatever Julie's like explaining what's going on and what you realize after you've seen the whole movie these visions that she's describing having during this experience is shit that's about to happen in the movie and it's kind of funny because she's like

yeah it's all just right here in front of my face and I feel like I can reach out to it it's kind of like watching a movie you're literally watching the movie it's clever but then I'm acting in it it's better dude it's brilliant Yeah, that was pretty great. She comes out of the trance with a tongue, like, scream that I thought was pretty, like, it was a solid scream.

It's a jarring moment because she is, she is very much like, and now it's this and it feels like I'm in a dream. And then it's just like, boom, like, just like total screaming. That's also how she described Scientology. It feels like I'm in a dream. Forever dream. I have a message from your brother. He says he needs to see you now. His name's Mark.

Yes. Yes, Mark. Which is Shatner's character. Mark Preston. Mark Preston family. So this is Dr. Tom Preston is Tom Scarrett. So anyway, this big freak out happens. We cut to the next day.

They've gone to the family house here. And they're talking to the sheriff who's just like, this guy does not want to have anything to do with a possible crime. So for this, for me. Yeah. Because it was another moment for me. I was like, that guy. I didn't know the name.

I had to look it up. Keenan Wynne. Yes. Legendary character actor. Colonel Batguano himself from Dr. Strange. Oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah. I recognized the name and the credits and I didn't look him up. But yeah, that dude was in a ton of movies. You're going to have to answer to the Coca-Cola company. Oh, yes. That line is just stuck on my head. Smaller mustache in that movie, I believe. Yes.

one you can have crows resting on it oh it's a big one he's an old west sheriff yeah yeah it's a big boy how dismissive he is of this whole concern it's just like oh let's miss it from that story is a UFO yeah he's not having it man he is he is convinced that this whole thing is full of shit or whatever

and scare it's like all right well you can't stop me from driving out he's like I'm going to drive out there anyway or whatever and he's like well ain't no law against that I'm like yeah all right it doesn't really seem like Redstone, nothing is happening. Like, it's not like...

It's true. There's no stores open. There's no restaurants that you can go to. It's just a ghost town. Like, so the sheriff has to be like, oh, well, another long day of doing nothing and I guess hearing about Ernest Borgnigh. And the main complaint, like, all the evidence they have is like the house was tossed and churned around

and the guy's like, yeah, there was a huge windstorm. Yeah, he's saying like, well, he's also like being dismissive because he feels like he's got better things to do because that Which he doesn't To be clear Yes he does It's called drinking during the day

He recommends He claims that like Because of that rainstorm There was flooding everywhere And all his guys are out Dealing with all the people And he's like Scarra's like you think a storm

Did that sheriff and he's like Yes yes I do He also makes a crazy claim here That they had Helicopter surveillance Of Redstone And the guy Piloting the helicopter

Saw no signs of life around the town and he's like, so no one's there doing anything. And Scarrett's like, well, they could be inside somewhere. He's like, no, no, no. The helicopter guy said no life signs. I talked to the helicopter man today. I also talked to my big

friend Harvey, who's a rabbit. I just, I thought I talked to all the important people today. I talked to my dog. He told me to kill some people. He's definitely been drinking during the day, it sounds like. Oh, yeah. I imagine it's gotten so bad.

for him that he's like, well, you know, if you'd have just a little nip, little nip of rattlesnake venom, it actually gets you pretty fucked up. Oh, that's awesome. If you don't, you know, you don't want too much of it, you know, because that'll kill you. Just like a thimble, right? Yeah, if you just put a little bit on your tongue, it fucks you up in that bit. Come over here. You want to meet the helicopter, man?

Come here, Mr. Ratler. You want to meet the helicopter? Take a sick of this. Ooh, here's this thimble right here. Just drink from this little thimble. you'll see the helicopter man Can you feel it? Your rotors are going there

Going out to the desert And drop in venom, dude Yes, absolutely Oh hell yeah So yeah, he's like I'm going to go out there The sheriff's like Whatever you do what you got to do

This dude peels out of here Which is great Driving way too fast for just a pull out of a driveway But anyways John is like They didn't have He's repeating all the shit from last night Like there weren't no faces on him They wanted the book

Blah blah blah For the seventh time, John. Eyes. They notice the pile, the goop pile on the porch where that dad melted. And because the wife, Julie, is like, what's with this like pile of black wax that's on the porch? And this dude's like, that there was your paw. That was here. He melted.

He had no face. I sure it ain't. You didn't want to take a hose to that thing? You maybe just, you know, clean it off a little bit. It was a traumatic evening. The old timer was hung up by his bootstraps. Oh, yeah, I guess if I saw my father turn to goo, maybe. How's this for a dramatic, a traumatic evening.

Oh. Shatners with Borgnine. And guess who's there? Lilith, the queen of delights. Oh, enough of Lilith, the queen of delights. Yeah, but it's a, it's like, oh, my God, this sexy Satanist lady is going to fuck me. Oh, wait, it's my mother. Oh, boy.

That's that's, that's, cut to the mother. That's a real problem. Well, it's like a sexy lady at first. Yeah, yeah, but then it's over. And then it's just the mother, which is creepy. It's more of that Borg9 trickery going on. It made you fuck your mom. You never know.

I can make you fuck anyone I like. You got a sister? Yeah. You's got horny for a second. Then I swapped the sexy Lilith for your sexy eyeless mother. If there's, if there's anybody you're not supposed to fuck, you'll fuck them because you're me. So I guess

Lilith might be the soul that's planted in the mother now. Oh, yes. Yes, you're right. That could be. Yeah, that's a good call. There is a logic underpinning all of this. This is only the stuff

you come from seeing the movie three times. Three times. Well, it's 85 minutes. Folks, you could do it tonight. It's just rock it. If you're listening to this at like 11 p.m., yeah, you could still do it tonight. It's pretty quick.

It really goes by. This is great, though, because in this whole thing, like, he starts freaking out. Like, no, I don't want to have sex with my mother. And then, like, the camera kind of pulls back and you realize Shatner is tied to an upside down crucifix. Oh, yeah. And they're about to, like, hang him, you know, upside down from it. And this scream that the movie tells us is coming from William Shatner definitely does not come from William Shatner.

There are other Shat-centric screams in the movie where it's definitely him doing it. This is no way. It's, like, part animal. It's part little girl. like whatever this like modulated scream in that's happening right there is creepy as hell you're right they're trying for like a blood curdling scream but they should have gone but just uh you know just shatter do i can't imagine william shatner having such an ego that he hears it over and over again he's like i'm tired of that william scream we're going to have a william scream oh yes just my scream and you get to use it whenever you like and then you hear it like unlike the shittiest movie like terrifier has the williams It would be crazy if they, it would be great if they had the Wilhelm scream in this, at least once. The Williams screen. It's more important now. If they worked it into that soundscape in the beginning, like the,

yeah, all the people are like the sounds of hell. That's one place. Also, during like the 10 minute meltathon. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Popping in there. A lot of people screaming crying in that. When Scarritt shoots one of them.

Yeah, why not? I'm hearing like parrots. Like I am. I'm hearing parrots in that fucking end. soundscape. There's a lot of sounds in there. You could mix it in. Devil's rain, dude.

Hell's tropical. You, I didn't know. That's where we should get Corbis in the Hawaiian shirt down at hell. I like to eat the pig's eye when I cook it. Oh, absolutely. Pop it into my mouth. Now, you have to think, though, with that Shatner's scream and the soundscapes in the beginning. Yeah.

That has to have been technical advisor, Anton LeVay, contributing some. some info there So, you know, when we were about to hang someone upside down from the cross, you know, this is how the scream usually sounds. It needs a little more, a little more bleeding sheep in there.

Yeah, exactly. Now, when I was in the church, the king thing we always did, it sounds funny, but it's true, we did it. Whenever we were referring to eyes, we called it face. It sounds weird, I know, but we decided

to do that. If we want to be technically accurate. Yeah, I mean, this old man is just repeatedly wrong about what's going. Because it's like their faces, yes, are fucked up, but they're still like a mouth and a nose and cheekbones and what? Dead eyes. It's all it is.

It's just dead eyes. I was having trouble with those eyes. There was a lot of close-ups of the eyes. I was like it's no good, dude. Creepy, creepy stuff in this creepy movie. So Tom and Julie get to Redstone and I love this

this is like I guess I could see people like arguing right here like it slows down a little bit but it's not terribly long and it adds to like the atmosphere the eeriness of it I do love the shot they walk by and this is all the you know this is Beckett Redstone all the old timey western town stuff

I love the way the movie plays with you here a little bit like they pass by one building and there's a rocking chair out front that just starts moving and you're like oh go shit and then the camera just kind of comes up a little bit and you realize someone's just jabbed a knife

in the arm of the chair. So it's that nice thing of like, yes, there's weird devil stuff afoot here. But there's also like, this is grounded. These are people sort of doing this. Right.

Right. This is also where we get Julie saying that, oh, the church is from New England and it doesn't belong to. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just, yeah, again, sort of just like adding to all the eerieness,

the mystery of what's happening. Right. And we're sneaking around, Scarrett's got this rifle out. He goes into the church. And this is Julie recognizes the stained glass from her vision. And it's like you, you then, the person watching the movie, you're like, oh, she's been seeing stuff that has yet to unfold in the movie. Tom, come here. I can't believe it. I found, oh God, it's disgusting. I found the original Celtics mascot here. It's here. It's New England.

They've haunted us forever. Oh my God. This little dead cartoon leopard. It looks like E.T. at the end of that movie. Why is he winking at me like that? Oh, my God. His corn cup pipe! They do get attacked by a dead-eyed guy and they fall down the stairs. Oh, yes. Honestly, pretty good. The scariest thing, I think, is falling down. Stairs in general. Oh, my Lord, yes. Well, that's, that's dead-eyed Travolta. Oh, is it? Okay. Oh, Travolta's who gets them in the house at that one point? I think when he's like searching for him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice. I'm pretty sure that's, because he's like, right, they go in the church. She finds like the wax. She's like

oh, this is. They see Shatner's shirt. Yes, because Scarrett's like, oh, this is my brother's shirt or whatever. And then she's like, oh, this is all the wax that we found on the front porch back of your parents' house. But I do love the idea that this dude just sees a flannel shirt on the ground.

And he's like, this is clearly my brother's shirt. This flannel shirt. I couldn't tell you any of my brother's shirts. Oh, no. I don't know. Could you would you know by scent like if Tom put it up to his because I was assuming like Scarrett

like smelled a dog I don't know if Tom scared a dog no he's a man it's the it's the crisp the level of crispness could only come from William Shadden right that's true that was a crisp flannel that's a man who irons his flannel

absolutely so while they're in there having this moment there's a big boom outside and this is a Dude, it's fucking great. They walk out and the, the Scarrot's car has been blown up. Again,

these robed, the Satanists, they put in good wet work. Like, it's very efficient. Oh, these guys know what they're doing, man.

They really do. We learn from the IRA. Oh, man, almighty. Nice. So they're borrowing from heaven's soldiers? Yeah,

they're getting it. They got their, their playbook. But, after the car blows up and they're like, holy fuck the car blew up. One of these creeps speeds by, this might be Travolta, speeds by

in Shatner's Shatbach, shitbox car here. They're like, oh, this is the old Shatbox mobile here. Speeds through and they sort of like give chase. They go into like an old saloon it looks like. The other reason I say that is because it definitely looked,

I saw some green felt on a table and I was like, oh, that looks like a card table. That was definitely a. saloon. Yeah. And so they go upstairs where, you know, all the sex workers would be in the saloonies. Oh, nice. Tom, not now. We're being chased. But then this is,

this is, I think, where you're saying, Ben, this is where Travolta might come in. It's a goon wearing a cowboy hat. And he's all I fucked up still and everything. I could have sworn the way I was tracking it was yeah, Travolta had the car and then they chased him into the saloon and then he was hiding

and got the drop on him. Right, right. They tumble down the saloon main staircase. And as he's on the staircase there, like they go down and look at him and Julie starts having a vision. And this takes us back to the 1600s. She stares into his eyes. Right. And we go through the eyes into Puritan times.

It's pretty cool. It's wild. And I love that the way we are able to recognize where the movie has taken us, like the first clue is Ernest Borgnine wearing a pilgrim hat and it's awesome

he's got my big pilgrim hat shit I couldn't do folkhor it's great and he's all pulled up with his fellow Satanists one of which is also played by William Shatner Martin Fife who I guess

the descendant Mark Preston is a descendant of Mark of 5th and that is the thing that again the movie the movie knows before we do because Borgnine keeps yelling out Mark Preston

like during that during the faith off and you're like who the frig is that guy like what are you talking about and we only learn here at this point that Shatner is Mark Preston

from generations back sort of a deal no as far as I could tell maybe I'll go back and check the scene again because it would be cool to just see him without all the makeup on

do we have Travolta floating around in this scene I have no idea I didn't spot him perhaps I have no idea I feel like it really would I like, Travolta's face is so unique that I feel like I would have.

You would have had to have been like, holy shit, there's John Travolta at this pilgrim scene. But the problem is I was confusing eyes and faces. Yeah. Oh, I couldn't tell. Dude, you know what? Don't feel bad. Classic mistake. But yeah, so Borgnine here is, again, he's like, who stole the book?

Where's my book? And blah, blah, blah. And then what basically is revealed in this scene is Borgnine suspects that Shatner's wife during this time period is crooked and has told the rest of the town what they're up to. And all of a sudden there's a knock at the door. And Borgonite, it's kind of great because he's like, all right, now remember, nobody's supposed to know that we're Satanous. So once I

open this door, don't say anything about Satan. They don't know nothing. We like God. God. He's the good one. God the Father, you see. Satan bad. I know what's hard. This is difficult. Satan bad for now. No, we were actually in here denouncing him. Yes. We don't like him. No. But yeah, well, the reason, by the way, that Borgnine is suspicious of Shatner's wife

is because he's like, there's only one member of our clan that's not at the meeting right now. And it's your slut wife, William Shatner. What do you think about that? He does. Now, the preacher comes and yells at Borgnan and condemns them. This dude was in, um, it's not a huge. role, but I look this guy up. He's in License to Kill. Oh, boy. One of the two Bond movies with Timothy

Dalton. Dalton, yes. Thank you. He's like a banker at one point in the movie that has a couple of like fun interactions with Bond. That's cool. So he denounces or no, he like casts them down says that, you know, they're their witches or whatever

and they're going to burn. And then... He goes, what are you doing here? And this guy goes, God's most holy business. the condemning of evil. Dude, get a fucking hobby. How about that? Borg 9 spot Shatner's wife in the crowd and yells slut and slaps her in the face. He is a slap, a slap and run situation.

I was kind of like, Ernie. My goodness. I mean, I know you're Satan's minister and all. But it's a really like shitty version of hit it and quit it. Show some decorum. If she says I like Satan, she's lying. She's lying. I don't like Satan at all

And so this is what's interesting though Is like the movie again I think this is like what It maybe led Raj to despise it a little bit These you're puritanical Christians Such as they're supposed to be And this movie are played as like Bloodthirsty

And like there's the one guy When they're trying to knock down the door to the house Because like Borg9 goes back inside or whatever And they lock the door They're trying to like use a battering ram or something That open the door And there's a guy who's like straight up wasted And he's just like

Yeah! locked down the door and get them. And like they are presented as kind of being worse than the Satanists who are just quietly having a meeting in the cabin. Because Shatner's wife turns on the coven or whatever and tells everyone about it

under the conditions that she and her husband are freed. Right. They burn them along with everyone else. Confirm then. Roger Ebert, pro rat. Son of a bitch. The wife shouting after she

finds out that, you know, her deal has gone south. Vow vowed. Vow. Yeah, well, that'll teach you about vows, huh? But you know what? Borgnine, it doesn't matter to him. He was ready to get burned. Dude, it's hysterical because, like, so it's like,

Shatner and his wife are being burned on one steak, and Borgnine is being burned on, like, a neighboring steak. There is definitely some laughing right here, which is great. But, like, they are engaging in a conversation whilst being burned at the stake and he's just like he's cursing him he's like now let me tell you something I'm gonna follow you through time I'm gonna kill every member of your fucking family

it's kind of like a Freddie Kruger thing you just wait motherfucker you just and it's like the like animated admittedly like flames are like rising higher and higher and he's just like talking shit like totally painlessly it's awesome no yeah yeah put some gasoline on it

why don't you yeah make the flames a little higher and bluer he kind of does the Danny of you know burn baby bird he's like yeah burn burn burn me i don't give a shit come on fucking do it there's a lot about like you can't destroy something bigger than life by destroying life yeah it's true i mean it's true yeah and it's it's the fucking satanist the quote unquote villain of the movie saying this stuff there's a lot going on devil's rain gang i'm just going to say why don't you cook your sabs of meat on the fire that surrounds me you sons of bitches. Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah. The fipes over there. They're crying. Oh,

we're burning to death. Why don't you enjoy it? Huh? Why don't you puke in your father's mouth? Welcome to every day from now on. Bring that pig out here. Let's get a spit roast going. Oh, yeah. Lou-out music is playing. Grill the pineapple, too. Do it all. Make it a big day. That's the second pineapple reference. Hell yeah. It was not going to... Yeah, juicy. Big fan.

After this, we get a great thing of Shatner being led into the, into the desert. Black mass. Yeah, he's about to get black massed. And Tom Scarrett going undercover with a robe.

Dude, fucking, yeah, man. Love it. You know, and I don't want to be like Hong Kong drive a truck through it, but like, what happened? How'd this happen? Yes, I need to see, like, because they're all marching out.

It's, again, it's a great shot. We're out in the desert. All these dudes are. like be hooded and they have torches and shit. They did a massive day for night shot on this. It is. Oh, amazing. Which like, I think adds to the... At this part right here,

the big... This was day for night? Where they're, when Shatner is like shirtless and they're taking them out. Yeah. And it's like, yeah, he just shows up Scarrett. Like, I need like scare it just like boom, like knocking some fella on the noggin.

Oh, we were robbed at that. Taking the roll. It's a real comical, like, gunk. So that they're black, empty eyes go to stars for a second. Yeah, it's like, wait a minute. Those are stars and birds around his eyes. Hang on a second. Oh, not eyes. Face.

Excuse me. Ernest Borg Nye starts singing, oh, death. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Dude, we got to get some O death in this movie. Oh, man. Great song. Oh, I was thought you were talking about the music from the group O death.

Oh, brother. When they seek it to the KKK. meeting. Got it. He's singing O'Deth. Yes. Okay. The traditional song. I thought you meant the old, remember the old purchase band? That's what I thought we're talking about. Yeah. So Shatner being dragged along here. This is, again, we don't see Shatner get the branding, but he's got the chest mark here now. That's another scene that could have been. I want to see that dude's chest the sizzle. You know what I mean? Just burn it right in there. Hell yeah. I want no damage will be done to this chest. You leave this. chest alone. I love that it's William

Shadder shirt off, belt buckle definitely still on. This is almost the greatest view of the belt buckle you get. It is gigantic this thing. It's awesome. It's a big buckle. But yeah, so Scarrot's kind of following them along here. Corbis starts doing like another

gospel on the mount kind of thing. Like, you know, the master of the world, hear me. I petitioned the prince of the abyss. Oh, thank you. I got goat face. Wait, I lost my line. Hold on. And then the goat and wait. Never. Wait. Son of a bitch. Because there's like a big boom and like a cloud of smoke. And then here comes Ernest Borknheim.

Oh. Straight out of a fucking Ninja Turtles movie or something here. This moment. This moment. I like, I just, I got to say. Like, we're to me, similar to the shocking screen. of Tom, you know, like this moment, they drop it on you like instantaneously because he's in the middle of that sermon that you were saying there. And then just out of nowhere, boom! And then he's a fucking pig goat

man. And I think... Huge horns. He looks kind of like the stained glass. Yeah. I mean, I think this is like he now is like the vessel like the devil is inside him. Yeah. This is the devil. Yeah. This is like how they show the devil. You're right. Because the devil, he's a little aloof.

Is it been prepared? I mean, out of here, is it prepared? Wait, is everybody ready? I was on time. Places, everyone. Where's the baby blood? I thought we would have the baby blood ready before we got here. What do you mean you already branded him?

That's my job. Why are you taking away my... Well, you know, I guess you don't need old Satan anymore. And I keep telling you people, those are eyes and these are faces. It's different. All right, all right. Just tell me, please. Oh, man.

Please tell me you've already bathed them in ash. You haven't? Oh, well, fuck. Well, it's just, you know what? Let's all go home. Let's go back to hell. Everybody go back to hell. We'll come back.

Next weekend when you're ready to be serious about this. Rank amateurs. Yeah, totally. Corbus? My office. Y'all made me look like an asshole out there today, guys. The district manager came and you guys made me look like a real asshole. Yeah, but so he's like

Cleanse this body of its current soul Or unworthy soul And Shatner starts screaming right here And this is, it's interesting because you're like Oh, even though this is William Shatner Captain Kirk himself, blah blah blah This dude's just getting put through it right now And it is not going to make it out the other side of it

Like he gets transformed right here The glistening William Shatner branded with a pentagram getting transformed. His insides are turning into hell slurry right here. Absolutely. And they have another like wax figure right here that starts,

they place it like over a big like candle cup kind of thing and it starts like melting into it or whatever and he's like be sealed by the holy waters of forgetfulness. And I think this is like supposed to be like as this fife guy gets put into the body, he's going to forget all of the current day, William

Shatner character memories and everything. Like that person's being erased and this Mr. Fife is coming back. Yeah, here comes. Jack the Ripper will take his role. And now this is where he starts looking like Michael Myers with the eye effect here or face effect, whatever

you want to call it. And I did some deep digging on this because I'm like because it's been so, so much has been talked about the Michael Myers mask. Obviously, we know it's like a Captain Kirk mask that the eyes were cut bigger. Right. Apparently it's been long rumor that it was a molding of the face of Shatner's face from this movie

is what they based the mask for Captain Kirk on yet Shatner has refuted that and said that it was from an earlier face molding that was done like a year prior but there seems to be conflicting stories on I mean that that was my first thought seeing it once he had the the dead eyes it was like Shatner is wearing the Shatner mask. Right? What the fuck? And even if it isn't like a direct relation, it's like he looks

just like Michael Wires and he does. I don't know, Eric. I don't know if Shatner would ever lie. I don't know. I don't know if he could be mistaken. He doesn't usually do that. Because one of the things Carpenter says about that mask is that not only yes, was it a Captain Kirkwreck mask that they painted

white and teased out the hair and whatever but they also widened the eye holes. And like in this movie, four Shatner's to have the fake, like, blacked out eyes or whatever, you had to cut a wider hole, you know, because you're cutting, because not only you're cutting out the eye, right?

You're cutting out, like, the lower and upper, like, eyelids. So it would just be a larger hole, which is what is featured here. So I would totally buy that. That's what I got this from. And also, like, yeah, right. William Shatner was, like, paying attention to how Star Trek merchandise was being made.

also it was made for a movie from beforehand don't you think like what was it and of green gables like what the fuck what was this movie that he's like no it was this other one that happened although i think he's saying like they had already manufactured because the show went off the air in the original okay so it's like they'd already made captain kirk Halloween costume so they had done it okay yeah i i feel like a mobster was like ooh you got this shatlin mask line around it's uh it's Halloween time Listen, this fell off a truck. Bing, bang, boom, you're painting white. You got your boogerman, all right?

We sell these masks off. We could make $50. That's right. I said $50. 50 big ones, dude. And that's for the whole lot. So actually, actually, why don't we just burn them?

You know what? I know. It's just a cut loss here. I love Scarrick getting found out right here because some fucking nerdlinger just start screaming, blasphemer. It's a blast fever because he's the only one in the crowd that doesn't have blacked out eyeballs.

Right. He is hunting around and barrobed, you know, watching all this happening. I guess, I don't know what his plan is necessarily. Well, he's got that shotgun. Yeah. I think it's like, make my way as close to the front as possible. And then maybe like get Borgnine or something. And shoot the devil in the belly.

Dude, shoot the devil with buckshot. What if you miss? Kill Borgnine and then, of course, all of his followers die just like that. how it works. Right. Yeah. It's like werewolves, vampire lore in some cases. That's true. He finds, a devil guy. He finds his mother, Ida Lupino, who has also been turned, and he freaks out over that.

Mother my God. Yeah. That's pretty great. Yeah. Also, when Scarritz found out to sort of like save himself, he just ices a couple of these dudes with the shotgun, which is pretty great. Oh, yeah. And then he just runs off, which is the move. You're like super outnumbered here. He runs back to Rudstone. And this is a great. he runs into one of these houses again

this might be back to the saloon there's a guy that he like gets into it with and he throws him off the balcony yeah great stunt work here it's a dude like scarrots really throwing a stuntman over pitchforks him too at some point yeah separate guy separate guy I love it even better so first guy goes over the balcony

and then he's like whew it's kind of like Lori Strode and Halloween actually she's like oh got him and then like he comes out like it's a different dude attacks him and then this he's got the pitchfork and I'm like, ooh, pretty cool. And it's kind of great. The movie faked me out right here

because the way they're shooting it's like a hallway and like pitchfork guy comes up from the stairs, you know, and starts trying to get at scare it here. And the whole time they're shooting this wide shot, you see this beautifully lit huge window. And I'm like, he's going to fucking pitchfork this dude through the window. And unfortunately, he only pitchforks the guy. And the guy's like, ha, ha, it's been a tough day.

I'm done. Shit, that's usually what us devil guys use. We use pitchforks. Oh, my God. This hurts. What have I been doing to people? Oh, the irony. Hoisted by my own petard.

Ah. Ow, my petard. Oh, he got me right in the potard. But then so, Scarrett goes back to the house. And this is where, like, his buddy, Sam finally meets back up with the movie. and Sam has been like talking to crazy old man John or whatever for a while.

And he's been like mind talking with Julie kind of, it seems like. And they find the book and they go through it and they've seen now that his brother's name has been added to the book in blood. Right. Of all the converts and it's pretty big. I mean, it's a hell of a mailing list that he's got here for when the apocalypse happens. The letter from Martin Fife's rat wife, like way back when, it's just this long screed or whatever. And I think that's like, is that supposed to be a letter she wrote to like the church

like ratting everybody out and they like got hold of it and took it as devil evidence or something? Yeah, yeah. It's a, yes. They're making a little collage here with all that shit. But yeah, so, you know, this dude Sam is explaining like Corbyn believes that he has the power to like take one soul out of a body and put another one. in it. And I'm like, finally, we as the audience are ahead of the characters

in the movie because we're like, yeah, we just saw that happen to Shatner. Like, it literally just happened in the last scene. But the cool thing like you mentioned before, Eric, we do see, uh-oh, the latest addition to the book, the latest name is Mark Preston. And Sam, it should be

explored a little bit more. It's a little bit of a throwaway line. He's just like, this name wasn't here last night. And like, that's the end of it. But at least we know, like, okay, there is, maybe it's not like the Necronomicon proper, but it is a creepy book that has magic powers and whatever. And it's updated

very, like, promptly. I mean, it doesn't take any time whatsoever. They're going right for it. They don't say, they're not lazy these people. Good bookkeepers, those Satan's. Yeah, no, really? It's all about the numbers. It's all about keeping perfect records. Because if the devil audits you, dude, you're fucking. Yeah, we don't

even have the ledger, but we're using our mind to update it because we need these records together, folks. Oh, we got to update the quarter ends next week. We've got to update it tonight. And this, I feel, is like a little bit of bad editing because it's like, it's night time when Scarrett, like, you know, makes the great escape from Redstone. He goes back to the house.

It's daytime. They have this quick conversation and it's like, okay, well, let's go back to Redstone. And then it's night again. And I was like, yeah. You could have just kept everything like at night. Isn't there some line too of Scarrett's like, I don't even know where Julie is. It's like, I got to find Julie. Let me check the script real quick.

Yeah. She's in a car somewhere. I guess they got separated. There was, no, there's a thing. There's a thing. Yeah,

we skipped over this, but there's a moment like after the first like, Redstone's getting creepy kind of freak out. Scarrett kind of drives way far away and stops the car. And he's like, all right, you go back to town and tell everybody what's going on, get the sheriff.

Oh, right. He walks back to town with the shotgun. It's actually, it's a very creepy moment. she's driving back and you see like the camera's just shooting like through the windshield

and she's driving the car the Ida Lupino pops up in the back seat and then all of a sudden the car like careens into a tree the classic the classic yeah and so she has been kidnapped

by the group so that's why when we come back we're at the same like big sacrificial mount or whatever Ernest Borgnine back in the same red robe and whatever looking like Borg9 again

he doesn't look like the devil but now Julie is carted out tied to a table and they're going to do a soul a soul swap on Julie. We should have saved Lilith the queen of delights for this one and not the mother. Yeah, that's fair. But she's like placed on this altar or whatever. And so like Borgnine has some line about like blah, blah, blah, blah.

So we can see divine fire. And like she starts screaming. And then so this is, there's, they go from like outside doing the shit to Julie and I guess like whatever they're going to do they sort of start doing it but then they all walk back to the church because this is where Sam

which the actor's name by the way is Eddie Albert I believe the the Green Acres dude from Alan Dwan's fantastic rendezvous with Annie. Fantastic movie if you get to see it ever. Oh is that right? Phenomenal. Really good comedy. Also Green Acres

phenomenal. Yes. 160 episodes Green Acres. Oh yeah. But so, like, they sneak back into the church at one point, and they find, oh, that's right. The Satanists aren't there yet. Sam and Tom go into this church again. And it's like, oh, what's this satanic designed manhole that's glowing? What could be under here? And they open it up, like, behind the altar or whatever.

And there's this big, like, glass vase with a TV in it. And you see all these people, like, screaming and whatever. And they're like, well, let's take this out of here. because this clearly has something to do with everything that's going on. This definitely feels evil. I don't know how evil, but definitely the smell is of evil. And this is where this guy,

Sam, kind of comes in as like the DeiSX Sam, because he's like, while you're up at Redstone that whole night, I did all this research about what's going on. And now I have all this information. And maybe if you flesh this out more, he could be more like a Van Helsing. Yes.

Like he's just an expert you reach out to. My brother's been kidnapped. versus this a doctor acquaintance just reading something I guess because when you meet them like it's almost a thruple vibe

like they all are working on this ESP thing together they don't seem to have workers with them well I think it's this like BS like Simpson and the Sun magic tonic medicine road show thing oh man it would be so much better if they were like hustlers

if they were just like completely I kind of thought that's what it sort of was at first but they're at this like medical college or whatever? I don't really know. No, ESP's real. No. Come on. Scientific studies. It's one of the threadbare elements. I mean, there's a lot.

Like, we're kind of filling in details where it's like it could have been better. But they were on, they were on that mob schedule. The mafia really churns out movies. We got to get this thing made. You've got to shoot it in 14 days. That's all you get from us. We're going to put the reels and cement and throw it in the ocean.

Because that's how we do it around here. but yeah so this is we're told this is the devil's reign this is like the jar that has all the souls in it and that's actually kind of cool. Yeah and when they do the close up of it you know you see like some people

dressed in like pilgrim clothes others not you know they're all wailing and crying. It does seem been brought up Sonic before I do believe that all the souls would come out like little birds and bunnies if you were to drop this thing like just a bunch of

if corpus fell over a bunch of coins would fall out. Actually, Ernest Borgneid, an absolutely phenomenal Dr. Robotnik. Oh, yeah. In 1975. Get him in a little floating thing

just trying to fucking torture a hedgehog. Absolutely. A $100 billion movie. The sheriff shows up and it's kind of a great moment where they're like, oh, thank God, sheriff you're here. And that dude's been transformed. Now, I wondered the thing the whole time,

do you guys think the sheriff was in on it from the jump, and that's why he was like, no point going up to Redstone. No, I think he was just lazy. Bat Guano's a straight shooter. Yeah, that's true. It's kind of cool, though, seeing him, like, walk in, and the way it's shot is very cool.

Then suddenly his cowboy hat goes up. Yeah, he looks up and you see that he's been turned. And he's using an axe, which makes me think they put in a guy in his body that didn't know how to use a modern firearm that the police have. You're right. He's just like a pilgrim. I put Lizzie Borden in there.

An automatic what? Just give me the axis. I know axes, okay? But he's easily dispatched. He falls into the like little well storage area for the devil's waiting. I think that's a pit straight to hell. Yeah. Just a fire.

He just a fireball. Yeah, yeah. But so the goon squad comes back here to the church at this point. And we kind of have the big finale here. where they're hiding up in the sort of the organ players nest there and looking down and they're you know all the goons are going to try to complete

the ceremony or whatever and this is like this is a bad like sort of too impulsive move on Scarrett's character's part here because like he just jumps off this balcony not even on to Ernest Borgline like just one of the dudes

and starts kind of getting into it like they immediately all like come on top of him and they're like you know, well, there's like 40 of us in one of you, Scarrett, got you. They come on top of him. 40 on one. Yikes. Wow. Real Bukaki situation. Well, that sounds like what the devil

would like. That sounds like the devil's rain. That's the devil's rain. Yeah, of course. Spurt, spurt, so us speak. Where's that pineapple? There's a lot of Travolta, like, in demon makeup here because he's kind of like the main guy

assigned to like stop Scarrett and whatever. So he's kind of scene around a lot of here. And like, if you look at it, like, it is that like 1970s thin John Travolta face, but he doesn't have any eyeballs. He can't really super tell that it's Travolta, but he is in the movie. He's got to get his revenge from the, the shame he got on this, getting bested on the staircase. Oh, yeah. But so then Sam has this really pathetic, like, he's holding the thing up and he's like, all right now, I swear, I'm going to break it if you don't stop that. He's holding all. He's holding all.

all the cards because he's got the big fish bowl full of souls. Just break it. This guy beefs this so hard. Like a cultist walks up and he grabs it. Dude, it is just, I'll take that. Thank you very much. I guess I should have just done it. Dude, save the speech and just

break the souls. You're an old fucking man. Act like it. You can't fucking take on the zombie hoard. Well, he can now through the power of reading. Oh, of course. Kids at home, you're listening. Him and LaVarber and read. Okay, read things.

Because now Shatner has, he's returning the devil's reign, the jar of souls to Borgnine. Right. And this dude starts calling out the wife, his wife's name, remember, what was the name? Aronesa. Aronessa, remember Aronessa. He's done his research. So he knows. Yeah, that's right.

He spent all last night reading the rest of this movie. Let me say some other bullshit names, Clarinetta, Oster. Yeah. And then it's like, you know, Borgnine's just. Like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, don't do anything to rash. Because if you do that, you're going to be a creature of nothing. Pergatory, you're not going to be a creature of hell, which has been pretty nice. Or heaven.

You're not going to heaven if you do that, just so you know. And Sam starts yelling stuff about, like, you know, without the devil's rain, he has no hold on you. You can think for yourself again and blah, blah, blah. Back here, what is the devil's rain? Yeah, I've only been a goon for like two weeks. What's the devil's rain? We don't think we had that meeting. Good, like, two sentences.

I don't need anything. Yeah, hi. New Soul here. Yeah, you got me last week only. I don't know what any of this shit is. You put me in some guy's body and we're basically the same age. It's just weird. I just want to be ready for when it happens. I mean, do I need to, do I need a wicker cowboy head here? I want to stay dry. It's time to keep your appointment with the wicker cowboy. He needed slicker as well. Excuse me. Yeah, new ghoul here. I don't have a belt buckle that large. Is that going to be a problem? Do you supply the big belt buckle? for us or what? Is Corbus, like, the big man?

Or is he more of like a supervisor, like in the evil, you know? Quick Corbus question. So Corbus, when you turn into the goat person, are you actually Satan or is it like it's just Corbus with some devil stuff on? How's that work? Yeah, I was actually wondering that too. Thank you. New hires, new hires, there's going to be orientation next Monday in the rec route.

There will be donuts and coffee. We did not intend for Tom Scarrett and his weird girlfriend and the weird scientist guy to come out here. So this is, I know it's all like advanced level demon cult stuff, but attend the information session next Tuesday. It seems a little early for it, but according to some requests, we will also have soda and cookies. Don't worry, we're going to make the best of it. All going to go to the saloon afterwards. Lilith will be upstairs. it's going to be a good time.

It would be good. Yes, I will be. Now don't you talk, Lily. You just wait. So, you know, there is a great, like, Shatner, you know, they finally get through to him when he just goes, Aranesa and breaks the devil's drain glass. Oh, yeah.

As soon as he does this, the roof of the church explodes. Oh, yeah. Awesome. Do not turn off the containment unit. That's right. It's pretty fantastic. He spikes this thing like a football. It's really great.

And yeah, someone like steps on the TNT because like we get a big boom. I thought like it was like the top of it blew off. Just like because people are still, we have a lot more. We had a lot of melting to do. The church, the whole building, you're right. The whole building eventually explodes. Yeah. Masterfully.

Yes. But this first is maybe it's like just the force of the just goes straight up. And it just blew a hole in the ceiling or something. something. But as soon as that happens, I feel like the spell's kind of broken a little bit. It starts pouring down through the hole in the church. And all these people are like freaking out and the melting begins. Hell yeah. It's really cool. Like the ending of Gremlins 2, but with people. But yes. And 10 minutes long of just people melting. It goes on forever. But we do get insane little mini scenes within it. It's like, first of all,

Tom Scarrett, why don't you wait this one out for a minute? Everyone's melting. Why are you running after Corbis? He might still have powers. Yeah, totally. He's ready to go toe to toe with the pig goat demon. Yeah. Find a good like overhang somewhere. Take a smoke.

Wait for this all to blow over. It's going to take some time. Tom Scarrett. Underrated mustache or properly rated mustache? Pretty solid. I think it's a properly rated mustache. He's just not as well known.

as other moustachioed, like Tom Sellex. Because it never was a lead, really. Like, even in his bigger movies, he was always like the secondary character, really. Right. He sort of went tertiary. This is sort of an example of a Tom Skirot lead, more or less. This is, yeah, this might be it. Like, this kind of is it.

Did he have a mustache in that movie where Drew Barrymore was trying to fucking poison ivy? Poison Ivy. Yes, he did. Because he's licking his lips the whole time. He's got the thing. Because he's supposed to have some, like, that character has like a teeth disease or something. I don't know

I don't remember what it's called like yeah I have a thing where I'm always kind of my face hurts a lot and I got to touch it it's a weird Nick that the character has I like to have sex

with 17 year olds as is the plot of that film well I gotta go to the dentist Poison Ivy technical advisor Anton no yeah that's exactly how you do it no yeah that's exactly it

right there that's all legit that's sure check the birth certificate so goat nine is trying to like swoosh his head which is a great visual just like trying to smush his head he's trying to kill scarrett here but then like he starts weakening because he also starts melting and so like all of his fucking goat makeup is melting off and his hands are melting off and he can't it's hard to keep a grip on there you know oh yeah slippery conditions on the field all that slurry in the in the in the in the in the Put a tarp over all the occultists here. Well, that's what old John did to the dad. Eventually, he's like, I'm not cleaning this up.

Oh, I'm not going to scrape the wax off this porch. Putting a tarp on it. Put a tarp there. That looks nice. What am I going to buy a chisel to get it off? No, sir. So you're going to wait until it's hot out. The wax will melt and then I'll just mop it up.

Maybe the dog will eat it. That'll be nice. Oh, we got to take the dog to the vet. He ate a bunch of devil wax again. Oh, well, okay. So now the dog is Satan. I don't know how that has. happened. Well, yeah, I do, actually. That would add

to the movie of a pack of feral animals showed up to start feeding on them. Hell yeah, dude. They're just lapping up all the goop and whatnot. That would be pretty sweet. Always a positive I said. Uh, so in the struggle, whatever, Borgnine falls into this whole massive explosion comes out there, which is

pretty sweet. So he's done. He's down for the count and out of the movie. Ida Lupino, you see, I mean, it's cool, but like all's at the same time, this poor woman. She came up in classic Hollywood times. Here's she is pressing a special effects mask on her face to make

green shit come out of her eye sockets and everything. Well, she thinks like man, I acted for Raul Walsh once. Yeah, I did movies with Humphrey Bogart. Here I am pressing Nickelodeon slime out of my fucking face. Well, it happens.

This movie has two things going for it. Like, these are the aces in the hole in this movie. It's like oozing faces. Like, whatever special effect they had. They're like, we're going to get Our money's worth it. They accidentally bought in bulk and they're like, well, we're going to use it all.

Mumbles likes oozing. What can I say? Yeah, it's a big fan of oozing over here. Yeah. Well, the last movie was bloody. We've got to have an oozy movie. We got to have an oozing movie. Pastoral landscapes and oozing faces.

I want them wet. I want them all wet. That's the most important. There is a really great shot of the organ player upstairs, also just has melted onto his organ keyboard which is great. You'd never see this dude ever outside of just the arms playing the organ

and it just cuts to his shot of like just on the keyboard. Pretty great. And yeah, it just goes. It just keeps going. People keep melting. There's a great one where it's like, I think it was like a married couple. You see these two gloopy hands

trying to like reach out before the moment of gloopitude consumes them all. It's pretty great. So romantic. It's just a puzzle. Everybody's just a puddle. And eventually they get out of there and then the whole thing explodes. The church just explodes and we're just blowing up this church that

we built. Awesome. Was there a catalyst for, I can't all the wallowing in the ooze, like I couldn't, I can't quite recall, but like was there something that led to the... I think here's what it was. Here's my theory. So, remember in the film Die Hard

with a vengeance. Certainly. Where they find the liquid bomb and it's like when you mix the red and the white together and then you drop it, it's an explosion. I think in this movie, because they're gooping out green and they're gooping out red

and all that's mixing together. Oh, yeah. You see, and then somebody threw a paper clip on the floor and all of the mixed goop made the church. Charlie, you're going to be wearing that church up your ass! Yes!

Absolutely. Corn syrup? They were just bleeding corn syrup. But it's it's a great fucking explosion man this thing goes up and i gotta say for like a cheap ass movie financed by the mafia they could bother to blow up a set of a church it looks amazing it's great well if the mafia knows one thing it's explode in things how to blow up cars how to blow up buildings no no we got the extras for the bodies don't you worry about that no one's gonna find

well it's an exterior shot sir we don't need anybody no no it'll be more realistic Authenticity. No, we run a dummy company that makes dummies, and we'll stack the dummies in there. Don't worry about it. This dummy's still moving. Yeah, that's all right. It's a new one. It's an electrical one.

It has little things. Bring me that pitchfork. Faster you blow up this church, the faster you don't have to worry about that no more. You know, I can fix that moving one. What you do is you just crack the neck really quick. And then that makes them just. stop. Yeah, that's how the puppet stops moving. Yeah. It's a factory

reset. Look at this. It works very well. So, like, the last moment of the movie, I think is very rad. It's like, they run out of the, you know, the church blows up or whatever, it's scared. It's like, oh, Julie, there you are you are. I guess, does the friend get it? Where is Sam at this point?

Is that guy eat shit? Maybe. I don't think you're ever shown. He's not because this last shot is Julie and Tom, they come out and she, like, gives him a big hug. And then as they turn around, around. Uh-oh, Julie's actually Ernest Borgnine. Just, yeah, yeah. I took over her soul and now you're fucking me. You think you're hugging your wife, you see, but you're actually hugging me. Ernest Borgnine.

I'm going to get married to you. I'm going to live together for 30 years. Cut to Anton. I mean, like, yep, that's just exactly how it is. All your wives are Ernest Borgnine. Every one of them. You don't know this. True tenant of the Church of Satan is your wife is actually secretly earned a is working. But then that's the end of the movie and it's kind of great because these credits very short because we got so much

of that stuff up front over Hieronomous Bosch and everything. The end of it is the last image that we kept seeing in Julie's visions, her trapped in the devil's rain, pounding on the glass screaming. It's fucking rad. And then what the coolest part about

it is there's actually like there's a moment of development in there. It's not just like we fade out on her screaming, she's screaming through the credits or whatever, and then she like stops and gives up. And it's like, resigning herself to like, guess I'm stuck in here. And then the movie, it totally fades to black.

It's a really, really cool fucking ending. It's a great, great thing. So is he able to reform? Does this thing are they just got spare fish bowls lying around? Yeah, we always got to have a backup. Yeah. You got to find a new one now, I think, like an old

samovar or something. Sure. I mean, she might be like the first in this new devil's rain bucket. Yeah, I didn't see anyone else there. It was just her. That's even like more terrifying in a way, right? At least when you're screaming around 300 other people there, you're like, all right, well, at least I'm not the only one this happened to. Well, he'll get, they'll be, they'll be more fish in that tank soon enough. For Devil's Rain, too, that never happened.

Oh, too bad. It's bullshit, man. I think it should be remade, get a little franchise going. Oh, yeah. The devil's snow. Let's get going here, everybody. devil's wind. It's a whole movie about satanic farting. The devil's sun.

I mean, come on. It's just... Oh, sure. That's... Well, that's just the omen. The devil's earth went and fire, yeah. Yes. Ooh, funky soundtrack of that one. But that is going to do it for this episode on The Devil's Rain.

We'll go around here. Final Thoughts. We'll start with our guest Ben Worcester. I mean, a cult classic. Cult, capital C. Is it, though, like, it definitely is not something that was on my radar. No, people actually don't like... I feel like people don't like it.

It's not rated very highly on leather box or anywhere. Or a lot of people just don't know about it. That's true. And I feel if you say like, you know, hey, devil's rain, cult classic, it's got to be like a lot of people know about it. I don't think that's the case.

Right, right. No, it was certainly new to me. I can see why in a lot of ways too, though, because of how incongruous some of the elements are. And there is, and there's like... Well, it's certainly for the people that saw it at the time, especially our boy Bobby Ebert,

like it kind of was dead on arrival, so to speak. So it's probably why it didn't gain more of a following. But there's a lot of fun in this. Like, there's a lot of fun to be had. And certainly for anyone where this is in the wheelhouse, like, you got to, I mean, come on you get William Shedder with a pentagram on his chest. Hell yeah. Come on.

That's not enough to get you in the door. of the Puritan church to be converted. I don't know what is. So it's a recommend. Yeah, I would say for sure. If this is in your wheelhouse, got to check it out.

Chris Cabin. Yeah, you know, a light recommend. I think what people are probably turned off by is this movie does not have a lot of scaffolding. Like you're not setting up a lot. Things kind of hit the ground running. Yeah.

And if you don't keep up with it, And if you don't, like, allow it, it's moments of, you know, backstory and exposition and stuff like that. I can see people kind of getting turned off by that. But, like, I've watched a lot of movies like this. They're not, they don't look as good for sure. And they don't have the star power. I mean, like, Tom Skirt's fine in it. But Ernest Borgneye just knocks the shit out of the park.

Like, I love the man. And he just really goes ham here. And, yeah, I enjoy. enjoyed myself quite a bit. Full pig. God damn it. Whole hog, full pig. For a man that was allegedly not paid, he is not phoning it in at all. Well, you know what? I got to jerk off every day, so I felt good. I felt good about what I was doing. Estimate a lot. Yeah, no, this is a total recommend for me now that I've actually like watched it beyond the opening credits, uh, it's a lot of fun. It's really cool seeing

dudes like Ernest Borgne and William Shatner and Tom Scarrett in like Scuzbo horror movies like this, you know, and Ida Lupino for God's sakes. I mean, that's fucking great. No, it was a total surprise. I think it's a lot of fun. I think it does have an unfortunate bad rap.

Probably from a lot of people that just look at it and go, oh, William Shatner horror movie, huh, ha, it's bad. But like, I thought it was a lot of fun. And it's really fucking well shot. And I'm sorry, like, you used a real ghost town set. It's cool. Total recommend. It's streaming on Shutter right now. Eric Siska closes it out.

Yeah, I know it's a recommend for me as well. I really enjoy it. Like what Chris says, like it's it hits the ground running so people might get a little lost. But you have to pay attention to this movie. Like you have to watch them set the table. You've got to hear about Corbus. I feel like compared to a lot of other horror movies, like maybe like a slasher or whatever, you can kind of zone in and out of those.

Right. But I feel like if you walk away from this movie for five to ten minutes, you've, you've, you've lost the thread. Right. And maybe that's part of the problem. A lot of people watching shit on phone. I'm on my phone while, quote, watching the movie. Right, right, right, right.

Exactly. But, uh, kids, put your, no, it's no screen time. No. Just pay, you know, just give it a chance. I think that's the thing is, just give it a chance. It's a hot little picture. Yeah, hell yeah. Uh, but that is a wrap on the 2023 Halloween spooktacular.

Of course, Ben, we thank you for dropping by. Absolutely. Catch Ben and Eric doing T. Hooker, of course. Hooked on T.J. Hooker. Yes. Hooked on T.J. Hooker is a podcast, Ben and I do once a year. Yeah. It's really fallen by the wayside lately.

Clipping along. We've got some, some severe life events happening. Severe. Severely good. But not a lot of time, but we're going to be back at it again, wearing the blue, talking about every single episode of T.J. Hooker. We're into season four out of, I think, five. Yeah. So we are, I don't even remember

what the show is. But we are working our way through it. We've got to put the foot a little on the gas a little more. We got to inch that up to cruise control. Romano, put your foot to the pedal. Let's go. We have a ton of episodes already recorded. So dig into that if you haven't heard the show.

T.J. Hooker Podcast.com or just search hooked on T.J. Hooker, wherever a podcast. You never know when a Blaming on Outer Space is going to show up, too. That's right. I said when we miss episodes, I'm going to post an old Blame it out of our space. But then guess what happened? I didn't do that. There are reposted ones that are a lot of fun. There will continue to be reposted ones once life settles down. Eric just needs to, he needs to get into his, he's got to put his robe on.

That's right. He's got to slide into his. I'm building a satanic temple upstate. It's taken a lot of time out of my schedule. But soon it'll be done. Goatface will be there. And we will be talking about T.J. Hooker once more. Get back into that Alfred Molina and Boogie Knight's mindset that you love.

on. Exactly. But I know this episode is coming out, I believe, on All Hallows Eve itself. Oh, sweet. Yeah, hell yeah. But, you know, we got a lot of spooky stuff that came out content-wise here on We Hate Movies. Again, all of the main feed W-HM episodes that we've done,

which this month included Exorcist the beginning, the purge. What are their main feed ones? I'm looking at Chris Cavend. He's just fucking laughing at me. I was about to say society commentary but that's not Oh well that's a commentary that's out

Yes of course So you're going through the spook tag I'm sorry Exorcist's beginning Okay saw five It started early So five right Exorcist the beginning

Bushed whacked The classic comedy With Daniel Stern Sure Pumpkin head the purge Pumpkin head There we go Purge in this movie

But if you listen to all of those With commercials Hey bummer for you man Patreon.com Slash we ate movies All Season 14 and onward, We Hate Movies Prime episodes

are dropping their ad free at the $8 level and up. We also had a We Love Movies episode. That's at the $5 level and up all about Billy Friedkin's The Exorcist. Another horror movie there. We talked about Corrin's groovy Halloween mystery on animation, Damnation the South Park episode.

Melrode 2 and O, terrifying as always. Every day. What was her name on Gleeve Glove glossaryl? What the fuck she called? It was Gephs. Gelsarian. It's a Star Wars Witch. So we spooky on that show as well. Absolutely. The Societymentary is out now. If you guys are looking to do a fun movie night tonight, you can watch society along with us. You can listen to Steve

Sadek silently lose his mind, which is one of the funnier things you'll hear this year. Really fantastic. And that's all over on patreon.com slash we hate movies. Now here on WHM Prime, the show continues next month. It's going to be November. It's We Love Movies Month. And so Steve wasn't here. I actually, I had the foresight to look it up. Thank God. really, okay, because I was scrambling. I was going to look at up for you. Because usually you never do that, but go ahead. Yes, no, I actually was a little more prepared this evening.

Hey, Andrew, what are we doing next week? Thank you, Chris. Actually, the horror keeps continuing here on We Hate Movies. We're talking about Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho. Oh, G, classic film to get us into We Love Movies Month. So be sure to get your Big Daddy dispatch ready to find out all the movies that we're going to be talking about, including what will be because we flip the script every November. So the

patrons only we hate movies episode that's coming out this November. So again, patreon.com slash we hate movies. If you're subscribed at any level, you get the Big Daddy Dispatch. So that'll be there telling you everything we're going to do next month. But kicking it off next Tuesday, Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho,

1960, Janet Lee, Anthony Perkins, hell of a fucking time. Very excited for that. Ted Knight from Caddyshack and a little roll at the end there. Shows. Knives. Shows, knives. It's all there. Throwing cars and swamps. Absolutely. Big houses. That's right. And shitty motels. All that and more next week when we talk about Psycho. Until then, I've been Andrew Jupin. Eric Sisko. Chris Cabin. Ben Worcester. Take it easy and happy Halloween. Sometimes dead is better.

Zombies have entered the building. They're at the door. They're coming in! It is time to keep your appointment with the Wicca Man. They're coming to get you, Barbara. He's sick for fucks you've seen one too many movies. Now, Sid! Don't you blame the movies! Movies don't create psychos!

Movies make sense. Side goes for creative! Put the fucking lotion in the bathroom! What an excellent day for an exitism.