We Hate Movies - S14 Ep712: Silent Night Deadly Night

Episode Date: December 12, 2023

“All this, over the treatment of a magic cookie-eater!” - Chris on Santa Claus-related outrage  On this week’s holly-jolly horror-tinged episode, we’re chatting about the totally kick-ass Christmas slasher, Silent Night Deadly Night! Why couldn’t they have bothered to actually name the psychiatric institute in this movie? Were there zero dollars set aside for background extras? How despicable is this Mother Superior? And major LOL to that priest assassination at the end. PLUS: Remember to NEVER stop for a Santa Claus or a Dracula on the side of the road! Silent Night Deadly Night stars Robert Brian Wilson, Lilyan Chauvin, Britt Leach, Toni Nero, Leo Geter, Randy Stumpf, Will Hare, Tara Buckman, Geoff Hansen, and Linnea Quigley as Denise; directed by Charles E. Sellier Jr.  Today’s episode is brought to you in part by Seed! Listen to your gut with Seed’s DS-01® Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/WHM and use code 25WHM to get 25% off your first month! Want more WHM? Join our Patreon fam today and instantly unlock hours and hours of exclusive bonus content, including Ad-Free WHM Prime at the $8 level and up! Make the WHM Merch Store your one-stop shop for the holidays! Including new Polish Decoy, ‘Jack Kirby’, and Forrest the Universal Soldier designs! 

This week on the program, the pearl clutching that this movie caused in this country upon release is one of the funniest things you will ever hear about. It's Silent Night, Deadly Night. I'm Andrew Jupin. Eric Slayska. Candy cane, Chris Cabin. Oh, fuck yeah. And we hate movies. Hello, Hello, everyone, welcome to we hate movies. Thank you for tuning in.

As always, that's right. We're talking. Charles E. Cellier Jr.'s, 1984. Cellar. Cellar. Cellier. S.E. D.L. L. I.E.R. I believe. That sounds like one of the ingredients they put into the pot in the Chewbacca Christmas special. Oh, when you're making the roast there, the panther roast. This is. Throwing a director of Silent Night, Deadly Night. This is Paproika. This is a little diploma we're putting in this. I guess that's a perfect segue. Chris, we should mention.

that we are doing this Star Wars Holiday special on Patreon, yeah. It's amazing we have not even started talking about this movie. You're fucking plug another episode. Oh, of course. Well, listen to that one. That's a good one. But this is Silent Night, Deadly Night.

It's a Christmas horror classic. It's a classic. I love this movie. I think it's a great movie, actually. I think it's a perfect slasher. Like, right down the middle. I don't think it has any, it's like no fuss, no must. That's kind of what I like a lot about it.

It's like it's a shampoo. Speaking of no fuss, no fuss, no must. Like, it's like a shampoo that knows it's really good and it gets the job done. But it's not trying to turn your head with a bunch of fancy smells and whatnot. Yeah, yeah. You got to add conditioner after it. It's not the orange dandruff shampoo that smells like you're degreasing something. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. We should quickly mention that Steve was we, we told them, listen, it's going to be a lot of fun. If you dress a Santa for this episode, come on in as Santa. Right. As Santa. The fellow had a psychotic break. Total, total freak out. He remembered what happened with his father. I mean, and it was a dark night. You know. Last we heard from him, he was saying punish and he laughed. Punish.

Nottie. Punish. Notty. I think that's most of the dialogue in this film, which is great. Another reason I love this movie as a slasher is we're not hiding who the killer is. I think a lot of modern horror does this. Sure. It's like, oh, who did it?

Because it's another thing. The psychology behind it. it's another thing to add to the because the slasher doesn't have much like right it's a little revenge tale or some kind of killer tale like sure

six kids are there five kids get killed this is how it happens a lot of these kinds of movies are math equations and I think right the one way you make it like sort of more quote unquote interesting is when you had like the

who done it slasher like your first Friday the 13th like who's behind that POV etc versus like knowing that it's like Michael Myers the whole time or whatever. And I do like when the business is just out in the open. I really do. I do. Yeah. It's like, I mean, like

that is why. I mean, it's not from the very beginning, I guess. I mean, this is why the vanishing is the best movie ever. It's just like right about halfway through you you're like, oh, it's okay. I like scenes where I can like sit with the killer too and like observe what's going on with that

person or whatever instead of just like, a bunch of either, like, lame POV kills or just like, uh-oh, a hand came out of nowhere and slashed your throat and vanished into the night. Exactly. I do really appreciate getting to know the killer. Well, because I think the issue is that whodunits, we know all the equations. Right. And if you can't do any of those, you know, occasionally they sneak up on you and you get something that actually surprises you. I'm forgetting the last time. See, but, like, it does happen. Okay. When you're saying the reveal surprises you? Yeah, it's always a letdown. It's almost always a letdown. It's always a letdown. And then you, the rewatchability is a factor too,

because then you watch these movies. And then it's just like, you're focusing on this red herring so much. And you've seen it now a hundred times. So what's the point? Yeah, exactly. I mean, I will say with Scream, though, to get back to Slashers. It is interesting to rewatch it knowing Skeet and, and, Matthew Lillard are the guys

because he arc actually does play it up a bit in that before it's revealed. Yeah. Like you can see him like kind of like adding little things to it. Yeah. And I think like the direction you give for stuff like that, maybe Wes even did that for those two dudes. It's like, all right, in this scene like you're acting like you are the killer. Yeah. And in this other scene you're not the killer. Kind of like how

what's your face Mary Heron I believe directed American Psycho Yes How she directed Defoe in that movie In this scene you know That Patrick Bateman is the murder

Yes In this take you don't And then she edited them all together Exactly And it's so It's such a weird stew That you can even see How Patrick Bateman would be like

What is this going on? It's tightrope Yeah it's a total tightrope Hey speaking of a total tightrope Yeah releasing these kinds of movies when you do, this movie is released the same exact day as a nightmare on Elm Street.

Really? Same exact day. It's so funny that this got the pearl clutching and it's like, oh, a, yeah, a janitor child molester who the town burns in a furnace who comes back from the dead to kill you in your dreams with a knife glove. Everyone's applauding it. This movie got dragged through the dirt,

got protested in the streets. Oh, yeah. Fucking Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel. acting like this is the end of civilization. Absolutely insane of either of them to do that. But I think it is because well, Freddie, I mean, that's

not happening. Crazy guy in a Santa Claus costume axing a couple people to death. That could happen. You know, you get one of these Santa Khan guys a little pissed off. And it will happen. It might happen. This year, I vow it. Well, you got your costume already? No, no.

Steve's out in the woods. Oh, okay. It's going to happen. Sorry. I mean, yeah, I can see that, dude, but like, you know, complaining about one and not the other. When literally both came out on the same day is very funny. Also, though, interestingly, this movie was outgrossing Nightmare at Elm Street in the first week. And then after all the stupid pearl clutching protests, try star pictures pulled the movie from theaters. And Nightmare and Elm Street goes on to be Nightmare and Elm Street. We could have lived in a different world where we had way more Santa murder content.

Oh, well, it's also, it's idiotic. Like, what, leave it. Oh, everybody's talking about this movie. Let's make sure they can't see it. Like, just, like, that's what, I mean, the Howard Stern formula. Like, you piss them off enough that they need to see it. And like, if there's a situation like that, where frick up fucking papers and opinion pieces are being written about the thing.

People are going to sneak in and see that movie. Yeah, no, exactly. Like, try star only, like, undercut money they could have made here. I watched a news, like, there's, on YouTube, there's some, like, you know, supplemental stuff about this movie news footage of like actual broadcasters talking about the protests and stuff and how like now they're trying to use

the controversy and put it back in theaters in like May or something you had to be far enough away from Christmas so they were trying to cash in on it and it's I don't know if it was the director I think it was the producer actually who's funny enough named Ira I guess named after I think his story

yeah and he was saying like that you know Ebert and Siskel like our hypocriticry because it's like you wanted something to talk about and you got it and if you really thought this movie should be buried you wouldn't even have addressed it. You wouldn't have risen its profile by covering it

on the movies. Completely correct. Yeah. Dude, just dead on. Siskel's thing where he's like listing the names of like the production companies and like they were so shame. Are you happy with yourselves? Well, yeah, they were for the first fucking weekend. They were making money

hand over fucking foot. Oh, walk into traffic gene. Like Jesus. This is things like, you know, they famously hated so many slashes. They hated Friday the 13th part four, especially. And it's just like this movie is actually trying to get there. It's doing more than those.

I mean, I probably love a lot of the Friday movies more. But this is really trying to get to the psychology of a killer in a way. Yeah. In a very interesting way that hasn't been done all that often and just to pan it outright. Because it's all about this false moralism, right? it's just like a traditional view of what like because they like I'm sorry they both have loved movies that infer similar kind of situations sure it's just the the filming of it and even

the filming of it I would bet you there are bloody movies that they both were like oh that's fine because it's realistic yeah because this is I think it's like you know because you're daring slander the almighty Santa Claus oh jeez I guess you know you could if you want to see their point I guess you think about you're watching television television. Your kids are there. They have a TV spot for Silent Night Deadly Night. It's like what Santa's mean? Oh, a mean Santa. I do. I don't think I would like to hear about a Black Peter or Crampus or any of those things. You know, but it's existed prior to this. There's that famous song. I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus. This dude was getting down chimneys. He was

trying to get into your mom's chimney. The same people who hated this movie. and got all pissy about it. Absolutely love that song. Yeah. They're like, yeah, I would love. You know what? I'd love to be cucked by Santa. This is a better song,

doll. Santa's coming. Is it, no, no, Santa's watching. Santa's creeping. It's Santa's coming.

Yeah, like Christmas. Santa's watching through the people. Santa's jerking in his motel. Oh, that's like, oh, that's like, oh, that's like,

he's watching through the people playing with his P-hole. But now it's a glory hole. Oh, shit. There we go. Mid-game. That's an in-game decision. That is how this movie starts with eerie, sing-songy. It's like, it's a Christmas themed nursery rhyme is what it

kind of sounds like, I mean, because speaking of Nightmare and Elm Street, it does kind of sound like one, two, Freddy, like that kind of shit. But I do like it. I like, we've been touching on this a lot. I feel like we've got to keep pumping it up because you got to pump it, dude. Pump it up. Pumping. Opening credits. Getting us ready to get into the movie. Everybody put your

soda in the cup holder. We got a movie coming here. We got gentle opening titles. It's a cool like flashy light font kind of. You go in like you put there's a pull into the wreath. And it's like I think that is that a Halloween specific thing? Oh like moving in on the jack lantern. Yeah, yeah. Maybe. Because that's the first thing I thought of. But like, I don't know if there's another movie that did it before that. Yeah, I'm not too sure. But we start, it's Christmas Eve, 1971. We're in Bartlett's Field is the name of the town.

This is Utah, I believe we're told. Of course it is. It's the Utah mental facility, not the whatever, the Bakersfield. So it's like, it's this family of, it's a mom and a dad, a little toddler there. And I believe an infant. Is there a baby? There's a baby. And we are driving, and it is, it's kind of funny because this movie came out two years before Christmas vacation. But Christmas vacation opens with the Griswolds in the shipbox station wagon, wood panel station wagon, driving on like a snow covered road. And this is the same exact start. And it's kind of funny because the woman playing the mother looks almost exactly like Beverly D'Angelo. Did you guys notice that? Definitely has a feel about, I would love if fucking holiday road start kicked in. Santa's assaulting your mother.

Roll them up. Roll them up those windows. Jack be nimble, Jack be quick. Utah mental facility. And we get, yeah, we get to this sign and it is just Utah mental facility is the sign that's out front of this building. Very funny. And it's like, all right, we're going to visit grandpa. Oh, grandpa doesn't even talk. He doesn't know we're there anymore.

We got to go because it's the holidays or whatever. They go into visit. And I love, because it's like a cheap, low budget movie, right? But here's this like mental facility such as it is. It's just the family, the grandfather, and the one attendant. There's not a single extra to be fucking found. They are the only people in this building. We're saving money.

We're making a cheap and effective movie. We're just getting in and out. Yeah, yeah. I mean, but at that point, I would offer like a beer to someone on the street. Hey, would you walk behind this person? Chris, it's Utah. There's no one on the street. Oh, yeah.

There's no one there. There's nobody. It's a ghost town. It's empty. Is this the best movie out of Utah? I don't know, but it's definitely up there. We'd have to do a lot of research, right? Well, they filmed in some of those salt flats for Planet of the Apes, and that's a better movie than this.

That's true. That could have used Santa, though. Is that where the Outwaters was shot to, or is that California? Oh, my God. Is that Get your damn dirty Santa glove off of me. To answer Chris's question that he was asking about the

Outwaters. I don't know. Okay. I don't remember what that was filmed. But yes, Eric, to your point, I feel like I'm a parent going back and forth here, but Eric, your point about Santa talking to the planet of the apes is also very funny. I'll look up where the Outworlds was shot. Let's see. That was outwaters. Okay, I'm thinking of Mortal Kombat. Yeah, there you go. Actually, that fucking Mortal Kombat annihilation, those were some weird salt flats areas. You might be right there. Oh, it looks like it belongs to California. The grandfather, by the way, the actor Will Hair playing this like catatonic grandfather. I recognized him. Old man Peabody from back to the future. Of course.

You space bastard. You killed the pie. All right. That's it. We got to we got to put him in the home now. You talk about the pine being murdered. Yep. Yep. Oh, he thinks an alien destroyed his pine tree. He keeps babbling how it would have been called the Twin Pines Mall, but now it's just Lone Pine Mall. Now it's got to be the Lone Pine Mental Facility. No, sir, it was chopped down. It was not killed. Like, you can't slaughter it. I really

And I guess it's like, the explanation is what? Like, is Grandpa's crazy? Because like, what is the motivation of this grandfather just completely destroying his grandson's life in this moment? I mean, it's pretty awesome. This is what I would do if I had kids. I thought of you exactly.

The greatest example of why you should not have children is. You would fucking do this to them. I'm hardcore. I dog toothed the first generation. Oh, you really mess them up good. The next generation, I'd be like,

Christmas Eve is the scariest night of the year. Well, it's the scheming, right? It's the waiting until your son leaves the room and being looking around being like, Santa kills people on Christmas Eve. He comes into your house and he'll take what you love.

He only gives presents to the good ones. But if you've been naughty, you're done. son he's catatonic he hasn't said anything for years yeah uh you better run boy you better run for your life and like that's what that like the play acting is what is so fucked up about it because it's like oh yeah grandpa just sits here all day whatever and then the single attendant in the Utah mental facility is like oh can I please uh like we'll just go to the other room and talk about your father's condition and they all walk away and they leave this little boy with

the grandfather and that's when this dude comes to life like a magic nutcracker of some kind. Yes. And you know common trope, right? The Harbinger of Doom here. Sure. Well, but I also do, I kind of like the idea of this being a, the whole thing, like a Lucille

Bluth-esque scheme that got out of control. Oh, sure. He hired the guy at the Santa Claus costume. Oh, it's Gene Parmesan. Yeah, Jean Parmesan. Oh, Gene took it way too far than if that's the case. I tried to tell him to stay off the

before he got on the job and he just let it get away from him. That's the other thing, Chris. Good point. There's no evidence that this grandfather, old man Peabody here, is consuming alcohol, but this guy's playing it like he's wasted, which is great. You can smell it. So they get back in the car

and it's like, oh, uh, mommy, Santa Claus is going to because the kid's like, Mommy, were you ever naughty? And she's like, oh, maybe a few times. And he's like, oh yeah? Well, Santa Claus is going to punish you then. Like, what the fuck? What did you say to me?

How did, what did you hear that from? And he's like, oh, that's what grandpa said. The dude's driving the car like, oh, fuck. Now my kid's crazy, too. That guy hasn't spoken a word in years. All right. You know what? We're going to just go to your racist father next time.

It's not this bad. I mean, it's bad, but it's not this bad. I'll just put earmuffs on. It is kind of, you know what I'd argue. It's probably better to fear Santa Claus is than general swaths of people. Well, yeah, that's my may be a problem. Maybe. I don't know. It is kind of funny, though, when they're like, where did you hear that from?

And he's like, oh, grandpa told me. And the wife goes, oh, geez, honey, wow, what a development for your father. Should we go back to the hospital and tell them the dude's like, nah? Yeah. If they did, none of this would have. You're totally right. Kept on saying nobody can help you. Nobody can help you.

So, like, that's the awkward convo happening. we cut to this convenience store and like this is where the movie just jumps in head first there's a dude comes in as Santa Claus he's buying stuff and then uh oh it's a holdup and

this guy is just like you know get the cash or whatever the fucking cashier tries to do a one false move kind of a thing and the Santa Claus fucking murders this guy gets him real good Squib City including a shot in the head now I think I saw this movie

was shorter, and now there's an 80-something minute cut. I saw the 84-minute cut. Yeah, me too. Yeah, adds a little more gore and violence, but you can tell what was cut because the quality changes. Yes, yeah, because what you can rent is the Scream Factory Blu-ray edition, and

that was like they tried their best, and those added moments, like, were so fucked up that you couldn't restore them, really. Yeah, I mean, this is exactly how I saw the unrated version of my bloody valentine

had these kinds of switches to less degraded footage I actually don't mind that stuff because I do like it it's you know when I'm watching those extended things I'm always like what was the stuff that was extended at least this way you can tell that looks shitty it's the lost

footage it's at the benefit excuse me if I'm going to be a snob here for a second it is the benefit of watching like essay films is that stuff like that like the Metropolis super cut with all this stuff in it. Oh, sure. Yeah.

It's amazing to me. I love it. It's because, like, you can like, oh, yeah, just a piece of paper in there. That's fine. This is the storyboard part of what this was supposed to look like. I think that's really cool. I don't know about you folks, but I trust my gut because when I see a hitchhacker carrying a human-sized garbage bag, I keep on driving.

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DeerCop. He's a deer cop. You might know, he's got a very interesting face. You can't really see it in this movie because he's got the beard on. He's got a very, very, like, flattened nose and stuff. Very interesting look.

He was in the sting, Butch Cassidy. Wow. And 1985, believes The Fix, which is some movie I found on VHS that doesn't exist outside of that one cop. Oh, wait. I'm thinking of different movies. Yeah, no, it's kind of a unknown movie that's not worth your time, but it's one that I've seen. I was just thinking of the Australian pop band The Fix. Oh, yeah. Which is a great band. Extra X there. And not much in the way of the movies.

Although featured in House of the Devil, some of the music anyway. So anyway, this dude goes because the guy, the cashier before he pulls the gun is like, what do you do? do? And the guy goes, I'm holding you up, asshole, which is fucking great. I mean, the first guy who thought of putting on the Santa Claus costume before killing someone. Yeah. That must have been like the first guy who found gold in a river. Oh, yeah. You just, you must be really just, oh my God. Nobody's thought of this. Right. Because nobody suspects Santa Claus. And like a Santa suit's perfect if you want to go camouflage in blood, you know? Yeah. Like, yes, there's going to be a lot of blood. and you're already wearing red.

Are you having problems getting into homes of people you want to thief or murder? Well, you just show up looking like, say, I'm here for donations for the orphanage. I'm Santa Claus. If you have a break from reality, it is a great idea. Incredible idea. Just genius work.

Another great movie, probably better than this one, Christmas Evil. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I love that movie. Christmas Evil has a great, when you see places advertising, maybe playing Christmas.

evil or like Christmas evil top picks you know top horror holiday picks or whatever everyone always uses the same frame and it's of the Santa it's the beginning of the movie it's the Santa like on his knees and basically

like putting his face in the mother's crotch in front of the Christmas tree and like that's the promotion mommy's kissing Santa Claus or Santa Claus is kissing mommy down down dude that's what's going on instead of Santa Claus Santa Conalingis today.

Yep. Santa Conellengus indeed. It just rolls off the time. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, I got it. I got it. Yes, please. Santa Clauselengus. Oh, yep. There it is.

Yeah. It really, it rolls off the tongue. Yep, I fixed it. It tightened it up. There it is. Yeah, it's a finger at a certain point that the claws. I love this dude in the parking lot. Like after he, after he straight up murders this guy and empties out his cash register,

he's out in the parking lot and he looks and he goes, $31. Merry fucking Chris. I'm really put out by murdering you. It's like you robbed a fucking dirt shit convenience store on the side of a dark highway. What did you think the score was going to be? It's Utah. You're lucky you got that much. Yeah. You got what you should have done is should knock over one of like a soda bar or something.

Oh, sure. Then you would get the real money. That's where the high spenders are. Kill all the soda jerks. Yeah, the highest quality root beer. That's what really gets you fucked up. milkshakes or what? All right, because it's Utah, right? They don't, it's foreboughton

to drink. That's right. I mean, this gas station looks like the gas station that bookends Halloween 3. Just middle of nowhere highway road. And you can tell it's the middle of the nowhere highway road because it's Utah. Well, because it's Utah. But here it comes our intrepid family driving along, singing a song, having a great day.

And uh-oh, who's that broken down on the side of the road? Oh, could it be Santa Claus himself? kids. Listen, point of order. Never stop for anyone. I mean, never stop for anyone. But especially, I'm sorry, a dude dressed up like Santa. Yeah. Any costume. Good point. But again, if you see specifically a Santa, because this is, we got to warn this time of year, dude. You know, if you see a Santa Claus on the side of the road and he's still dressed up and he's got

the hat, the fake beard or whatever, don't stop. Because any non-psychopath would take the jacket off, take the beard off. Hey, I'm just a guy that broke down on the side of the road. You're not staying in your Santa Claus ghetto. But to, I mean, to Eric's point, I would sooner trust someone in the vampire little blood streaks down the chin thing before I'm trusting a Santa Claus in the middle of the road. But what if it's near Christmas? Isn't that unsettling some kind of full Dracula outfit? Nah, I would, I trust it more.

He's not trying to get one over me. He's clearly just crazy. Dracula is some monster you can reason with Santa. You don't know what he's thinking. No, because that guy, he's all black and white. You're either naughty or nice and that's it. At least Dracula, dude, he sees the in-between. He bends the rules.

He's like, are you sexy enough to have sex with instead of outright murder? Or are you, like, cool enough? Maybe I could have a buddy. I'll turn you. Yeah, because Dracula does care about social circles. He loves that. He wants to keep up appearances to a certain degree. I mean, that's why he's buying fucking, what, Carfax Abby or whatever.

That's right. It's just to keep up appearances. Dracula is in society. Santa is off the grid, isolated. To be. North Pole, asshole. I agree with all this, but to be fair, he used to be better.

Now I sound like a grampy. He used to be better, but after he had his encounter with the Oogie Boogie man, he went right off the rails. You're right. He just became really bitter, resentful. Yes.

I'll tell you, though. Jesus of shit, salmon. We're recording this on like December 2nd, so we are in the throes of the holiday season, such as it is. I got to say, I'd probably be freaked out if I was driving along and there was a fucking Dracula broke it down. I'd be fine.

Certainly out of season for you, count. The Santa Claus would freak me out, though. That would, I'd be me like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, no, I see those dudes outside of like a mall setting or like jingling a bell for a shitty Salvation Army thing. Oh, right. Yeah. What is that all about? Is that a real thing? It is, like, the Salvation Army's got some problems. Yeah, I saw one guy on the local news from the Salvation Army the other day. In full military uniform, I'm like, I didn't think it was an actual army.

Oh, now it is, dude. You know, they got like generals and things. They're recruiting. Yeah. The Salvation. Yeah. They got a lot of officers, too. Not too many petties.

So this scene is pretty horrifying. So the guy comes up, it's like, oh, Sandy Claus, eh? What can we? And the dad is playing along with the dudes like, oh, what can we do for you, Santa? I'm like, dude, your family's going to get murdered right now. It's so dumb. Don't call him Santa. Yeah, exactly.

Sir, what's go? did you break down on your way to the department store, sir? Is the JCPenney expecting you in 40 minutes? Well, yeah, this guy's got to get a couple lines off for us. He's been boiling. He's just been thinking, oh, man, can I get a riff going with this guy? Yep. Mid fucking panic attack for my child.

And so this dude pulls out a gun and shoots the father. Well, no, no, the dad, he pulls out the gun. And the dad is like, oh, Santa, how could you? And like, this dude backs up the car. Santa, though. Just go forward. Yeah, run this fucker down or run, you know, away from him or whatever. So Santa starts firing off here like it's fucking lethal weapon.

Gets this dad right between the eyes. Headshot. Dude, pretty wild. Total headshot. It's awesome. And the dad, because of that, like, jerks the wheel. The car goes flying into a fucking ditch or whatever. And the dad falls out dead.

The mom's trying to run away. The kid runs off into the woods. but like just so far enough that he can turn back and watch all this horror unfold and like this guy's like assaulting this woman. It's fucking horrible. But don't worry, he stops and murders her. Right.

It seems to be in an attempted situation that then becomes a full on murder instead. And this dude, when he rips the shirt open, it's kind of the scariest part of the movie because he just goes, ho, ho, ho. I was like, oh, no, no. So yeah, she's dead.

he decides to just cut her throat instead. Then he's like looking for the kid. He's like, where are you, you little bastard? And like you're seeing from little Billy's point of view, like a very scary Santa Claus man with blood all over him and maybe some of your father's brains. Yeah. You know, looking for you, calling you a little bastard or whatever.

And like this kid is ruined forever. I know, but you know, he should have channeled this into a more effective method like Batman, right? Yeah, she became Santa man. He faced his fears and placed it earlier. Dude, yeah. Underneath his house, it's like a total winter wonderland. That's where his hideout is.

He dresses up at Santa and just murders like bad Santas. He's got his joker is Jesus. The guy who will just show up. Honestly, probably the most ultimate Joker of all time. Jesus, yeah. He's got a calling card, a little cross here. I think for theatrics like you, turns water into wine. He's a calling card.

It's a resurrected Lazarus. It's just a lot of fish. It's a ton of fish. It's just a card. It's made out of like communion wafer material. He's a powerful guy that Jesus. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but like Joker.

He'd be, he'd probably beat Joker and Santa in the fight. I think you're going to be my false idol for a long time. You want to know how I got these holes in my hands. You want to know how I got this stigmata. Yeah. Oh my God. That's the next step. I know Mel Gibson kind of already did a Jesus horror movie. But Jesus horror movie, like the night he came back, my God. Hey, and actually, not to say too many good things about the passion of the Christ, but I will say, met with, I would argue, much more vociferous, loud, obnoxious protesting when that movie was released. And you know what? They kept it in theaters and it made a shit. ton of money. Right, and last

temptation of Christ too. Oh, right. It's the stupid fucking horse company that doesn't understand these things. So here we go, December 1974. Now this is what I love. We are now at we're told, St. Mary's home for orphan children. And I'm

telling you, if you go back and look at the tape, it is the exact same sign they used for Utah mental facility and just repainted it and put this home for orphan sign on it. What's That's the difference. Once you're done with the orphanage, you go to the mental facility. Either or, really, send them either. Yeah, you know, you turn 18. No one came and

bought you from the pound. Right. Exactly. I mean, if you're a, if you're a young child, you can run rampant in this mental facility. There's nobody around. You can fucking start a little cult for yourself. Exactly. We saw the outside. It was a huge building. And on the inside, no one was inside. Unless your orphanage is a kill shelter, you know. Well, that is, you know. Those are the ones you should be adopting, folks. Yes, you should absolutely be doing that. But so it's like a classroom setting and this nun who we meet

Sister Margaret, who will continue throughout the film here. Margaret Loomis. Yes, that's exactly her all. A good call. This is 100%. It's a good Loomis. It's like if Loomis was actually trying to help Michael. Yes, like she, unlike Dr. Loomis, seems to be pretty good at her nun teaching

job. Yes, her nunnery. Is that what they call it? Nunning. Her nunning. The nunning. The nunning. The nunan-noning. Non-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-h. Ooh, crossover shared cinematic universe with Silent Night Deadly Night. Obviously, and then the Jesus horror movie we're going to make. Honestly, a remake of this movie would be better than either of those non-movies. I think they made this movie and it was terrible.

Oh, really? I think they did. Really? Oh, no. Why don't you find out? I'll, uh... Why don't you find out? Why don't you find out?

No, I'm pretty sure they did kind of like, oh, recently it. It sounds familiar, actually. Chris, get on that. You're knocking something loose here. Because it was in that slew of, like, we're remaking, like, when a stranger calls and Black Christmas. Right, yes. And you know, what was it? Black Christmas is great, by the way, the original.

And the remake, I thought was pretty decent. That's with, like, Michelle Tractenberg. Yeah, I think so. It's like the Oats, I believe. The Black Christmas remake is much more recent. Really? That was, like, 2018, maybe. Oh, come on.

It's pretty recent. It was really recent. It is. because it was, I think, wasn't it directed by the woman who did always shine? Yes, it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You few beautiful fools. They've remade it twice.

No way. 2006 is Black Christmas with Trachenberg and then Black Christmas 2019, which I did not. That's the one. Look up who directed the 2019 one. Let's see here. Sophia Tackle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

She's an interesting director, man. I do want to check that one out. Yeah, I've been meeting too. And I think Eric, that's the one that people say is good, not the Michelle Tracker. Oh, I kind of like, I didn't see that. Oh, you did see the 2000s. Oh, okay. Oh, I think I got myself a little, a little holiday horror triptych working out here. Oh, Glenn Morgan did the 2006 one. You know him from the X-Files. The one he was a producer of. Willard he was a producer of. So they did remake it in 2012, but it's just called Silent Night. Oh, there wasn't a Silent Night, Deadly Night remake. I'm not seeing one. Okay. Although my favorite fact about this franchise, sure. The third one is directed

by Monty Hellman. Yes. Incredible. Incredible. And it's not very good. It's pretty bad. Those later movies, 3, 4, and 5 have nothing to do

with the Billy saga. The second one is the guy who says Garbage Day famously is the little brother in this movie. I find the second one more entertaining than this one, but I find this one better overall. The second movie is one stop shopping

because it's like, 60% flashbacks. Yes. Which means it's just footage of this movie. Right. So when you watch Silent Night Deadly Night Part 2, you're kind of watching two movies at the same time. It's true. It's mostly this.

And then the other half is just the kills at the end, which are great. Most of them are pretty good. And you know, Silent Night Deadly Night 2, I think it's been meme to death. Everyone knows the garbage day. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Which is kind of worth it. It's kind of worth it.

It is a nice little line. Oh, yeah. It's great. So anyway, we're having class. And it's like everybody's drawing a Christmas picture. And it's like, all right, Billy, you're next to put your Christmas picture up on the chalkboard. And it's kind of great because you don't see what it is right away, but this nun just being fucking horrified.

And it's like, you and this picture have to go to the mother superior's office right now. I'm sorry. You work at an orphanage and this is the worst thing you've seen on paper. Well, I mean, again, I think it's a thing where like you're seeing precious sannie claws in a situation that it shouldn't be because the photograph is, or the drawing, little colored pencil drawing. It'll be a photo by the end of the movie. Santa Claus shot to death or stabbed to death. There's a bunch of knives in him. And then they what did this fucking animal ever do to you kid? A decapitated reindeer, which is a bit rough.

All this over the treatment of a magical cookie eater. Like what exactly are you getting so offended by? I agree. Yeah. That cookie eating son of a bitch needs to be taken down. I don't think it's, here's the thing, fellas. Now, I'm no child psychologist. Sure. You're not? last time I checked, no, my online degree has not come through yet. I would let you do it. Oh, sure. Yeah. It would be great to be. Just experiments. Yeah. No, but I think it's more, you know, not so much that the violence is happening upon Santa Claus. It's that it's just a gory ass photo that a, it's a gory ass drawing that a little kid made. Right. Santa ain't got nothing to do. If you drew something like this after Columbine, for instance, you're being called into the place. Yes, you are. But I'm imagining at this particular orphanage, the nun, like, for. Three years ago had like someone with a family, you know, a drawing of all the family with all different family members.

And like the mother's face just blacked out and like bloody heads over like the father. Like just, yeah. I would be like, there are also normal orphans. No, there are not. I know you've been wrapped up in orphan movies like the orphan and the orphan do. It is. It's proper. It's propaganda.

It's true. But there are plenty great kids out. There are. There are many. And you should adopt if you want to. From a no kill shot. I mean from a kill shelter The no kill ones, you let them stay there

until they get to the mensel. I see. They all get shipped off the Utah mental facility. Let the process play out. So, you know, he goes to the Mother Superior and this lady is a fucking piece of shit. Oh yeah. This sister Margaret is like, hey, Mother Superior, this kid has

like crippling mental problems and really needs to be like delicately handled and professionally evaluated and whatnot. And this lady's just like, I don't think so. him in the room indefinitely wall him off like he doesn't remember the incident but it's coming out in these drawings one day it's going to come out in a different worse way yes i don't want to hear it yeah like again this lady is the dr lumis of this movie she's trying to sound the alarm right no one

is listening yep uh who who more more poorly equipped to handle a mentally and emotionally damaged child like this, then some crotchety-ass penguin that's hated her fucking existence for the last 40 years. I wish they had at least done something like, well, we don't have the budget to handle, get somebody to handle problems like this, but it's no, it's just immediately shut them off. Yes. Cask of a Monteado him. Yeah, it's not even, you're right. It's not even like, we'll do whatever we can for him, but we're severely under-resourced here at this Utah orphanage or whatever. It's not a that, it's just none of that.

It's just like, don't, don't make that a habit. No, it's just this like, you know what's going to fix him, right? Locking him in this room indefinitely, which they do. And it appears as if like days go by. And then finally

this sister Margaret is like, hey, look, Billy, like all your friends are outside making a snowman. You want to go outside? And he's like, oh, mother's appears and I got to stay in here. And she's like, fuck that old lady. Let's go outside or whatever. And this is a weird turn of events here because somewhere along the way, I guess like sister Margaret has to like go ahead of him to go tend to the children or whatever.

She leaves this kid to find his way from the bedroom downstairs and somewhere along the way, he's just, he's walking down this hallway and I hadn't seen this in a while and I forgot this part. I'm like, sounds like people are fucking in this orphanage and that's exactly what's going on. I think this is supposed to be like some of the older kids or whatever, which is weird. I was confused by this. I thought one of them was going to be a nun or something. Yes, like a priest is getting a little Randy with a nun. And then that would be like, you got to send them to hell tonight.

That's like, you took a vow. That's nothing to sneeze. You got to call Poppy over in Rome and see what's going on. But if these were just regular fuckers, which how do they even get there? Who are they? Whatever. Then Mother's Superior is maybe a little harsh on them. Yeah.

A little harsh. It is just weird, though, because. like you are to believe that they are a residence of this orphanage and like when you're 18 you're out of the orphanage. So if you're in the orphanage and this is going on. Oh, I figured it out there. They're trying to avoid Vietnam. No, no, no, no, I'm 17 again. No, no, no, I'm an orphan. I honestly do it.

The best way you know it. Yeah. But it's like you see immediately like the fucking trauma that this kid has endured because like he's peering through the keyhole and he sees these two teens getting down and the woman is topless and when he sees some nipple

it makes him flashback to that right three years ago when the shirt was ripped open which is like... Imagine sex being ruined even more for you you know what's pretty bad already what's the base here

you know what's the found What's the celery onions on this sucker? It depends on the person. I don't want to expose myself more than I have. And you don't want us exposing ourselves. So like he's peering in. And like it is a real like he doesn't understand what's going on. He's looking through the keyhole.

And then here comes this mother superior fucking belt out. Oh yeah. What are you doing? What are you looking at? And like she bursts in this room. This dude's like mid. or whatever. Oh, I can't believe this. And then, like, she just starts fucking straight up whipping these teenagers. Oh, my God. You guys ever get the belt grown up? I have not.

Oh, boy. A belt, no. Yes, I've been whipped. I got a spanking or two. Oh, that too. I got an open farmer once. Oh, yeah. I got a wooden cooking spoon cracked over my head. Yeah, well, you know, when you live with your grandparents and great grandparents, I didn't think about that. People born in the 1800s at a different thing about child. Wooden spoons were just the norm. You had like some neighborhood friend come over like, can Eric come out and play? Yes, after another two hours in the stocks and you're just in the backyard. Pretty much. Not too far from reality. I'll tell you what. You can play with him if you buy me a new wooden spoon. This one. Oh my God. That was a good. The wooden spoon day was a good day. The grandmother's chasing me through the house. I ran into my parents' bedroom, which was the one that

had like a lock key. Sure. No one had the key for it because it was such an old door. But I figured out to use a screwdriver on it. So I trapped the old broad in there. I jammed a screwdriver in the door, locked it that way and held it in there. This is amazing. I thought you were going to say you hid in there from her.

No, no. You locked her in the room. Oh, we had our cat mouse moments back and forth. And then your mother comes in like William Atherton. We have to open and let it out. We have to. I think eventually I let her out. And that's when retribution occurred.

I'm sorry, Eric, that sucks. It's all right. It made me who I am. It's true. So this Mother Superior comes out and is like, what did you see them doing in there, Billy? And he's like, I don't know. And she's like, what they were doing was very, very naughty.

And I'm like, this is where you can't use that word naughty because, yeah, it was fucking naughty. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying, Mother's Appear? That was a better than naughty. as it gets. But you're triggering something in this boy's head and all of a sudden she looks like Patty Lepone and he's about to be thrown in with the penis monster. Oh, God. And now this, they didn't even get to finish here, I don't think, right? Oh, no, no, no. She interrupted mid-coitus, dude. Man, I know, I wonder in that situation, would you like, would you finish, would you finish or

would you, would it be too startling? Oh, I think if you're startled, dude, I mean, it might be coming with the startling. Coming with the startle. Or you're losing the, the big E. Right. Oh, yeah, that's also, yeah. What's the E? Erection. Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah. Sorry, B, boner. No, I, no, no. I lose the big E all the time. Don't worry about it. I just think it's behind the seat cushions or something. Oh, here it is amongst all this change, I found. You know, honey, I lost my erection the other day and, oh, I don't know. It's not in the cushions, but here's the remote. And just some pennies. There's no erection in here. I was looking for that remote. And so this lady's like, punish.

is necessary. So like, this kid's getting whipped for just looking through a fucking keyhole. And I'm just like, no wonder you're going to fucking turn and kill all these people. What bad luck. The one Catholic orphanage in all of Utah, right? The only one. Right. So he's like laying in his bed or whatever and you just get a shot of him like, you know, obviously very upset. Did you guys notice in the room right here? I don't know what this was. I didn't get a chance to look it up. Like, maybe it's on eBay or something. a yogi bear board game

that's disturbing yeah dude it's like get to the finish line to steal the picnic basket there's a lot of great toys and games in this throughout the background especially once we get the IRO's toy shop hell yeah there is a crawl board game or something there and crawl is clear as day

I didn't notice crawl crawl is clear as day at the back end of it also made me think of Thanksgiving this year's release which also had a crawl poster in the movie where was that now I'm missing all the crawl action. The dirtbag Massachusetts townie that's put on the party for the kids

selling booze. That dude's great. He's got a crawl poster. Oh. That guy's a hero. He's a total fucking hero. I love that guy. What a fucking total scumbag. It's like that's a primo, like, brilliantly rid of scumbag character. That is exactly what we would all be if podcasting didn't

catch off. Yeah, we'd be charging teenagers 20 bucks a pop to drink in our mother's house or whatever's going on. Yeah. Dude, my mother's in Mexico right now. I could throw a fucking cagger. Oh, wow, dude. Look at that. Friger at the old Cisca house. Eric, I'm coming home early.

Oh, no. We have to clean the house first. So, like, he's, like, having some nightmares, like reliving the attack, all of that stuff. And, like, I noticed right here, actually, they show the dad fall out of the car again. Doesn't he look a little bit like

Michael Antekeen from Twin Peaks? Sheriff Harrius Truman, you know, who I see that but the one I thought of was what's his name from a body double the main character. Oh, the guy that looks like Bill Marr. The other Bill Mar guy. Oh, that guy. Who's in Dream Warriors? Yes, yeah. Craig T. Nelson. Nels. S. Solar. Craig, you're right. I'm just naming Craig. It's a whoever that dude is, he has a single

and a music video attached to it. You're kidding. Craig Wassa or something like that. That sounds like Watson, maybe. That sounds like a name. But like look up that fucking song. Once we get the name of the guy, Eric's looking up right now. Craig Watson. Craig Watson.

All right. 10 big points. Thank you. Thing. Craig Watson has some, it's like some R.M.B. Rick Astley kind of shitty single. It's fucking great.

Really? The video's really funny too. You're never going to be. I'm sorry like all the actors turn musicians out there. None of you are beating Don Johnson heartbeat. It's just not happening. That's a good one. Get, get over it. It's fine.

The New York temperature is 26 degrees. Eastern standard time. The video is starting out with a little something. Let me go into the... A little bit. Ooh. Yeah, I'm pretty sure this is the one. Yeah.

No, I can definitely imagine... I don't think this song's not good for podcasts. it's not, but you know what? It does sound good for cocaine use, which I assume was the real reasoning behind. Oh, here it is. No, wait, which song were you playing? Have me arrested. All right. It is have me arrested. Because he's got some other like Vietnam song called the Boys and Company C. I don't want nothing to do with that. Oh, look up the Craig Watson have me arrested video. Yeah, yeah. The Boys and Company, that's a movie. It is. Uh, uh, Joe Don Baker. Oh, really? Oh, now we're talking. Um, so whatever. The kid gets up and he tries out. And he tries to

to run out the orphanage because he's having a freak out moment. This fucking Mother Superior, dude, ties this kid to the bed and I'm like, lady, you are asking for it. Oh, he's got enough sexual fucking problems and kings and stuff. Yes, this is just adding on to it.

I can't shoot unless I'm dressed as Santa stabbing someone and tied to a bed. It's too much. I mean, it is too much. That's a lot. That's a lot of recrossed wires in your head there. So it's Christmas morning and the orphanage has like a gift for all the kids

and it's like they're doing this weird thing I've never heard of this where it's like we're opening all these presents and then Santa's coming by later and we all have to sit on his lap and thank him for the gift this is some fucking psycho shit right here I think you're trying to get into these kids' heads

and really fuck with them a little bit here with this one well because she's like this mother's superior is like looking at all these kids like daring to have a nice Christmas morning and she's like I see more greed here than I see gratitude. Okay, William, here is your present

a porno about Santa Claus. Yeah, exactly. Here you go. Just to fuck you up a little more, William. Santa's coming. Santa's rimming. Every day, you will get 10 minutes with our VCR and you can watch 10 minutes of your tape

that is not going to fuck up. You just got a race to the finish line around. So this kid like gets a present or whatever. I don't know. What's the gift? Because he does open it.

I don't remember what it was. I forget. But he, you know, then it's like, all right, Santa's coming. Now everyone has to,

you know, I guess go, go pledge fealty to Santa Claus and thank him for the presents. It's not, I have a note here that says child torture. That's not what it is. That wasn't the gift.

Yeah, you got a gift card for a child torture. Yeah. From Buffalo Wildwing. It is torture to eat there, dude. So this, you know, this Mother's Superior, like, forces this kid to sit on the Santa's lap. Yes. Billy has a total freak out here.

Dex this Santa Claus right in the face and the guy falls off the chair, which is really funny. It's like, I don't know, buddy. You're a grown man. This is like a 10-year-old small child. How is he cold cocking you? Seriously, he's working out. I love that, like, because the Santa Claus falls over and, like, the kid runs out of the house or the orphanage or whatever. And this guy goes, wow, the hell's wrong with that kid.

He's got a point, but still, you should have been able to take the hits, sir. That's true. And then you just like, freeze frames on Billy, like the nun comes in. The Mother Superior comes in. It's like, well, yeah, me, like freeze frame. And then boom, 1984, 10 years later, here we are. This is where shit's getting real. interesting. And we're like 30 minutes into an 84 minute

movie. This fucker is moving. Yep. Yeah. It's like, it's also interesting because like all of this time so far has just been about the guy who becomes the killer of the movie. Exactly. It's really interesting. It's much more interesting than like, here are all the future victims mulling around. Right. And POV shots in the woods of like, oh, what's go? That might be creepy later. I see. We like it in this movie and we don't like it and Rob Zombie's Halloween. You son of a bitch. Yes.

Yes. I'm sorry, Chris. I'm not a big fan of Rob Zombies Halloween. I'll tell you one of the reasons why this is easier for me to stomach. Sure. And it just comes down to one word, dude, hellbilly. Well, this poor kid, the orphanage, it's a shitty nunnery orphanage raising real bad. But it's clearly in the Northeast. And like, no one is a fucking hellbilly. This is more fleshed out. then I guess

1978's Halloween but even that movie was a kid being traumatized young I mean you don't I mean I mean I mean I mean everyone thought

about grabbing a butcher knife and stab and someone as a kid that's a kid that did it well yeah I mean that's why I don't bring it up you see the repercussions

of what that would mean without having like the Rob Zombie version has the table dressing of like what was it Brad Durf is the father or something

no he's the sheriff okay he's the father and the mother are just like We're in foresight. You fucking dumb bit, blah, blah, blah, my sloppy tits shit. Fuck, fuck that. Oh, here for good measure. Here's some fucking gay slurs.

I mean, it's just too much. Sure. I mean, I do like when he says sloppy tit, though. That's, I'd be dad as a cracker. So, here we go. 10 years later, sister Margaret, still on the case, still fucking fighting the good fight for this kid. She goes into Ira's toy shop here and is like, oh, asking the manager,

Mr. Sims. This is like Dr. Loomis was like, Michael needs a job. How about he works at your mechanic shop and puts on one of those jumpsuits? He needs regular hours.

No part-time bullshit. We need consistency. He's good with his hands, Sheriff. There's a hard worker coming to your town and he needs employment, sheriff. No, he's very strong, but that's a good thing.

That's a good thing because you want a stock boy. He'll work weak. Ken Sheriff. Yeah, because this lady's like, listen, I got this boy. He needs a job. You have a posting in the window for a job. And this guy is like, oh, well, sister, you know, it's a stockroom job. It's a lot of heavy lifting.

It's not really something a boy can handle. And she's like, oh, I'm calling him the boy because he's still at my orphanage. But he is indeed 20 years old. Why don't you say hello to him? And they do this like camera slow, tilt up, like, look. Look at this hunky stuff. Big and strong. That boy's big and strong.

William can lift. And then Ira, of course, says, you know what? I don't like the look on his face. That's a note from me, lady. I'm sorry. And she says, Nya. Nah.

All right. He's hired. Just don't cry. Stop creepily screaming. Thank you. Thank you. I really appreciate it. Could you stop?

Could you stop doing that, please? Yeah. So he's instantly. hired and you get to see him moving boxes and stuff. Dude, this montage, by the way, dude, what is this fucking Christmas song? I don't know. The warm side of the door? Warm side of the door.

Oh, my God. This was so written by a divorced man. Like, you can just smell it. Like, like, the warm side of the door, that's the best you can imagine is getting inside the door. Oh, I bet better, I bet my ex-wife's house got, it's pretty warm on the inside.

So cold here on the outside. Dude, and that's, dude, one of the, The, like, rejoinders or whatever is. It's always Christmas on the warm side of the door. It's like, what is this Christmas song? She used to get one of those really salty turkeys from KFC for the holidays, and I just miss that salty turkey so much.

Oh, my God, I could smell her pepperoni and mozzarella garbage bread on the warm side of the door. Oh, iceberg lettuce. you. Oh my God. You know, I bet on the warm side of that door, she's putting up all sorts of shrimp cocktail. She probably bought a 12 of Bud Light. Oh, yep. This song is just terrible. And it's like he's stock and stuff. You see him kind of being sweet with the store girl here. Thank you. Like we got the strong tradition of montage from Sergei Eisenstein. Direct line to silent. Yeah. Oh, of course. You just see it in your brain it makes sense jean and roj you didn't see the magistrate in this movie there's a great moment in the montage where billy's like walking by a display and he notices like one little box is

kind of uh just like out of place a little bit and he just kind of moves it just the teeniest bit to make it oh just right they cut to this mr sims guy who is the funniest actor in the movie yeah this mr sims doing like this nod of approval like mm-hmm excellent notice right there That's hell of a moving right there, son. Just incredible movement. Oh, way to push that box an inch to the left, son. So proud. Did you see, though, in this stocking montage?

This was the toy I noticed, dude. Right behind this guy, big display for like Jabba the Hut action figures? This looked pretty cool. I was fucking jealous. I was trying to tell like what it was. Like, is it like a playset thing? Is it just a Java figurine? I believe it said playset. Yeah. It's got

the whole dais. Fucking. Okay. The Ira, Brit Leach, Mr. Sims? Mr. Sims. He is the... He was the man. Supermarket manager who kicks Steve Martin out of the supermarket and Father of the Bride. Yes. Oh, and he has the bun freak out? Yes. He's also murdered in that. Yes. Steve Martin returns with a hammer. All of a sudden, the footage changes on that too. That would be so delightful. It's like crystal clear. Steve Martin is arguing with the guy in the store. And then it cuts to like, grainy, scratched up footage and it's Steve Martin cutting this guy's

head off in the deli department. Wow, the Father of the Bride extended cut is really funny. I'm going to have to up that number. That's a three and a half or right there. This winter father of the bride. Hell yeah. Would that be great? Terrifying killer of the bride.

Ooh, yep, there it is. So yeah, it's always Christmas on the wrong side of the door. And you see here too, like now Mr. Sims is getting the store decorated for Christmas and they unveil this big like Merry Christmas banner and there's a picture of Sannie

right in the middle of it and you see this dude just kind of like Harampo Santa Claus great I'll never escape my nemesis I mean the nun had to at least know about this right the like at some point it had to come up she had to jump she should have jumped in and got him out

of Christmas you know I mean that's at the very least like I know you don't have the money for you know actually bring it professional into the orphanage to take care of a situation like this. Think of it like dog training. Whenever he sees a Santa and he starts getting worried,

like give him a treat. That's all children and dogs exact same fucking shit. Yes, exactly. I've said this for years, Eric. They both respond very well to food. Yes, exactly. You take your kid on a leash, you have a shit outside. Nice and easy. It's exactly the same. Safe spot, you know, you put the paper in a nice

safe spot for them to wipe, but you got to keep it outside. Exactly. If you're leaving for a while, you don't need a sitter. Just put down some newspapers. Good a good lease. But no, but for real, they are, you know, it's still a mammal that has a brain, I guess. And you can train, you train people like you would train an animal. Yes, it's not hard at all.

She should have just been like, hey, you know, Billy or whatever fuck his name is. It's Billy. Billy, what his name is, should. Yeah. They should take vacation days. Like, oh, we need, he needs to help out around the orphanage around Christmas. Oh, yeah. Get him out. out of there. Get it out of there.

Also, red flag on this fucking iris toys and I hate when people do this. You can do it a little bit but doing it on every window and door,

painting every window and door. So you can't even see inside the store if you're doing window shopping. And I guess that's maybe because we're filming at night.

Also, it's helpful if you want to murder everyone inside and nobody sees the body. That is actually a good point, Chris. If that is what you're thinking. I'm going home

and painting my windows tonight. Just in case. Just in case. You never know. So like some dude playing Santa shows up to do some, you know, kids sitting on Santa's lap stuff with the store. This guy has a total freak out and falls over a bunch of boxes. And you can see this Mr. Sims being like, uh-oh, here's the crack in the foundation. Crazy guys finally going crazy. And he's like, oh, Billy, are you all right? This dude stands up. It's so comical. he stands up sort of dust himself off and he's like, well, I've never felt better in my entire life. You know, the nun told me to do this.

Here's a famous Amos cookie. All right, back to stocking. And you're a very good boy. Oh, good stock boy. What a good stock boy. And you know, I don't understand the economics of this toy store because we're also introduced to Andy around this point. Oh, Andy the stock room guy, big scumbag. Another stock room guy.

Why? Who's like, seen at the during this montage all he's doing is sitting in the stock room at the desk drinking like whiskey out of the bottle talking shit to billy like you when you came here you were an all right kid now you got it you got a fucking attitude and he's doing stuff like oh you don't do anything around here blah blah blah I have to do everything meanwhile it's billy with like the uh uh you know clipboard like taking stock of something like doing actual work while this while this guy's saying he does nothing that's the thing is the

has to be drunk all the time to make any sense of he's like because later he's like, oh, you've been slacking off. Yes. You've been doing, I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about, man? What are you going to point to? Like, the footage that's going to show I did my work. Because this is like, yeah, I mean,

this is one of those pieces of shit. Yeah. That you'd encounter, we encountered this working in retail where it's like the person who's been there longer and they've got maybe a little like senioritis and they're fucking off. And then you're like doing the job because you're new. to the place and you want to do a good job

and you haven't become jaded by the institution yet or whatever is, you know. And then that person calls you out as if you're not doing good, but like you are oh yes. These people are fucking repulsive. You should be entitled to strangle them with Christmas lights all the fuck you want. Honestly, that was, I mean, when

he goes overboard but if he had just done that, I might have been okay with him. If he just killed Andy. That's maybe okay. You're all right. You're fine. You're a young boy. You're from the orphanage. Right. So we got this co-worker Pamela here, this pretty girl who's like, oh, don't worry about it, Billy. Like, I'll pick up the boxes you knocked over and he's like, oh, will you?

And we cut to this like sex fantasy that this guy's having. And I got to tell you. It's good. Props to this guy playing Billy because both of these actors are completely nude in this bed. And like the way the shot starts, it's like, you know, from the feet kind of working a way up the body here. and both of the actors are doing like our legs are positioned in a certain way so you can't see genitalia

but this guy's got one knee kind of up too high and like the camera goes right up this dude's asshole like you can see this dude's like ass crack hair like you're really getting to look up the tunnel love right here. Well choyfe too that ass hair very nice

looking. Nice blonde looking ass hair you know it's a real like maybe you should think about shaving because you look like the bottom half of your body looks like a Oh, too much ass here. Well, that's, I mean, look, you got to key into the animalistic nature of sex. So, you know, you don't shave, you don't use anything to make you smell better. You just let it go.

So, like, the sex fantasies interrupted because in the dream, uh-oh, here comes a Santa Claus. And he starts attacking them or whatever. And Billy's just screaming like, I just wanted to be good. I just wanted to be good. Yeah, sex, you know, that's a triggering event for him. and it's going to bring about this murderous Santa idea. Speaking of, so here's what happens. It's the last day, it's Christmas Eve.

Mr. Fucking Sims is so excited for the staff party that night. He can't wait for the Christmas season to be behind him. And uh-oh, this is, this is, this is where it's trouble because the mall or the mall Santa, the Santa that they've hired from the agency has broken his ankle and cannot come to be Santa for the last day. and it's like, who among us is big enough to make this work? Oh, Billy, would you like to be Santa Claus? And like at this point, this is why the nun needed some additional paperwork with the application that was like,

and by the way, definitely don't like put Santa stuff around him, but definitely, definitely don't dress him like Santa Claus at all costs. Fuck you, Mr. Sims, you be Santa. You don't even, you're the manager. You don't want to work today anyway. You just want to get shit faced later. You're heavier than Billy. You belong. to sit the whole day. Yes. You're Santa, not Billy. Poor Billy. You look like you're from an

you are. It's very clear. You're an economically depressed area. Yeah. Go out. Get Pities to stop playing funzies with the third rail and like get him in a fucking Santa Claus costume. So you're saying go out. Find yourself like a buck flower-esque town hobo. Yes. Derelict. Yes. Play Santa instead. And because you're in a town like this, you're more close together. You're more tightly knit. You know your hobos. That's true. You can try. You can. them to do these little things. You can offer him a free shower. Exactly. You get him a meal. This is easy stuff. Because you're going to want to spray him down before you have a kid in that land. And I'll tell you something about Buckflower. He is not freaking out when he thinks about

Santa Claus plowing some white. Oh, he's not freaking out at all. He guarantee. He has fucked a woman dressed. Very comfortable with the idea. He was dressed as Santa. She was dressed as Santa. That had to have happened. Oh, at least once. Yeah. Santa on Santa cosplay. Would that be cool? Is there anything like that on the internet? Maybe I could watch. Oh, yeah. There has to be. There's a Girls Gone Wild Santa Con that you should see. And that would really turn your hair white. I'd be. Man, Santa Khan, by the way. You know, just when I've forgotten that that exists, it just comes right back. Isn't it happening soon? It's happening December 9th in New York City. And yes, it's going to be terrible. But honestly, any weekend day in fair New York City is kind of a anicon, but with different people participating. Alcoholics. No, no. Today you have the shit-eating families going. They're on the trains, having fun.

Everyone's screaming. We're going to go see the fucking tree at Rockefeller. We're going to see the fucking tree. You're going to know about it, even though you're trying to mind your own business. That's been happening for many, many years. I hate it. Dressing up as Santa so that you can blind drunk because the fucking city is one-eighth bars. Like that is something very new

But again, we need the economy So yeah, go ahead Dress up as your Santa's Get blind drunk Vomit your KFC all over the fucking MTA I mean they were almost like banished From the city and like they were forced to put in like Regulations and stuff

Because there was one year where it was a total fucking fiasco Right they were like fighting in the streets Fighting in the street vomiting on people like just really bad Like the end of the Joker Yes, the whole fucking city goes mad Well, think about those kids when they grow up after seeing a drunk vomiting Santa on the street. Oh, yeah. Every time

they drink or vomit, they're going to have flashbacks and it's going to ruin their lives. It's going to be Christmas. Christmas. Whatever the, whatever the real sloppy year was, too, I think it was also, there was a bad snowstorm and, like, it was just total chaos. And by the way, you fucking said it's on the 9th. And I'm just realizing I've dinner reservations down to that.

Cancel. Cancel. No, they're really hard to get. I'm not doing it. Oh, shit, dude. I get a hotel room down there. Yeah, I would. That's the thing is people don't really understand like if you're not from New York City, you don't realize that it's like the Warriors that day.

It is. But you're trying to, you're just trying to get home. Trying to get back to Coney or something. And there's Santa's attacking you throughout the entire area. It is the closest we come to living the plot of the Warriors.

If you are out and it's like, wait, what is, wait, wait, wait, and you're like, you're downtown, right? And you look and you're like, oh, there's a guy dressed as Santa. Interesting. And then you look across the street the other side of the intersection.

It's like, oh, two other people there are dressed as Santa. Oh, that's a little unsettling. Oh, and there's some more. And then you get on the phone and you're like Santa Con year that this is in. And it's two days date. It's like, get to the train. We gotta get up town.

This would be a great remake of this movie. You set it in New York City during Santa Con. It's sort of like Scream Six vibes. Ooh, yes. Yeah, yeah. Go ahead. Go right ahead and do that. So this dude doing the Santa's lap thing, it's immediately not going well.

This little girl is totally terrified, and he's like, he's not shaking her, but I like to believe he's definitely like gripping her tightly and it's just like, stop it. Just stop it. Behave. Just stop it. You know that knee is just going. It's just like, oh, yeah, stop it. Stop it or I'll have to punish you. This is exactly. If I had a, if I had a child, I think this is what I'd be doing every day. He's just like grabbing them and be like, stop it. Stop it. Stop it. in a Santa Claus costume or just your normal attire. That's how I walk around the house every day. You should know that by me. I should. I should remember. I do love the gag of these two moms like standing far away and they're like totally impressed by what's going on because they can't hear him.

They just know that like the girl isn't fiddling or screaming or whatever. And the one mom is just like, oh my God, he's just so good. He knows how to handle children. Look at him. She's so calm. Yeah, that's funny. Look, I see all the hope draining from her eyes. That's a beautiful thing. But it's like here's the thing is even if you can't hear what he's saying

he's not being a boister. There's not a single boisterous. No. It is just, I'm whispering to your child and it's fucking creepy and no one has a problem with it. Yeah, Sims is okay though. He's doing just fine.

Oh yeah, because guess what? The clock ticks. Boom, it's seven o'clock. Time to get shit phase. Oh, yeah. Only quick plot thing here is that the phone rings in the stock room. it's sister Margaret looking for Billy

and the dude Andy's like oh he's actually playing Santa Claus right now and she's like oh it's like if they come back to that woman of the fucking kill Bill fucking alarm went off and the whole frame turned red because she's like oh fuck today

oh wait oh fuck and she just like looks around her think oh I didn't give him the letter I meant to get Mr. Sims this letter about poor Billy Oh, too late. And so I do love this shot. It's Mr. Sims fucking slams that door closed, locks it. He's like, it's seven o'clock. Let's get shitfaced. That's right, Mr. Sims. And it is the like one of the best slash like kind of saddest things you can see in any kind of Christmas set movie. The staff holiday party of under six people. Oh, and you know there's way too much booze. But we got to drink it all. Well, we're not going to bring it home with us. That's a good point. I have you ever like, like, if you go like, Andrew, when we go home, like, I'll go to like one of the like outdoor strip malls that we have the little ones. That's our entire town is. Newton Plaza, such as. And you will see if you cross, if you're like out around that time for the week before Christmas, you will go like you'll be passing like even a real estate office and you will see things like. Oh, sure. Oh, yeah. And like, I'm like, a it's probably if you are, you know, a human, it's probably.

great because like if you're close to someone you can like actually it's just you guys you can just hang out. Yeah. But like I think because it's it's just me I'm like I would just be so alienated and it's just like I need to get out of here. Oh yeah. I'll either that or I have to get blind drunk. Either or. Yep. Yep. One of the other

super uncomfortable. Especially too if you don't like the people you work with. Yeah. But it's such a small staff that you're like kind of obligated to attend. Right. Yeah. You know because if you didn't you'd cut the guests left like you know. a quarter of the guest list would be cut out. Also, other people are much more amenable than we

are. That's also true. Generally speaking. Yeah, friendlier, better in crowds. Really? Outgoing. Capable of conversation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not us. No, but I'm always envious of those people. I know. I guess we need a lobotomy. It's like watching a magician, man. I'm like, how'd they do that?

See, I'm thinking, Eric, I think the lobotabies going to make you even less talkative. I think that's even going to bump it down a bit. I think the problem is I'm too, like, I'm too in my own ahead. I'm too self-aware or something. So I need that part cut out. Okay. And then I'll, you know, I'll be, I'll be on December 9th.

I'd be downtown fucking shitting my brains out. Vomiting up fucking, you know, booze. Yeah, like at a McDonald's employee. Yeah. All the fun stuff. You know what it's more like, well, not more like than the Warriors, but in addition to the Warriors, you know, the vibe the city also has on fucking Santa as you start to see the day waning

the purge. Oh yeah. Yes. Because it's like we are all rushing to get home and lock our apartment doors before the real Santa Con craziness happens. I would rather have been in any war ever than be a woman out and about on Santa Con. I would rather fucking throw me in Vietnam.

I prefer it. Now this is also another good idea for a purge sequel set around Santa Con. Yeah. And you have like maybe an older house, maybe in Brooklyn or something that actually has a fireplace. And now there's Santa's trying to come down there to kill you and your family. Yeah, dude. A quick fix of that, dude. You just light a fire.

They move the purge to Christmas one year. Yeah, the holiday purge, dude. They had a new one, right? We need two purges a year. Numbers are down from last year. You need to get something. You got to give a gimmick. Got to figure something out.

You know what? Like, we're giving this shit away for free. I'm going to keep my eye on those movie listings because a lot of the last. suit. We'll be coming if we are not contacted for holiday purge. You're fucking better believe it. For the holiday, yeah. Let us come. Just let, look, bring us in, give us a few sandwiches. Let's punch, punch up

a script. Be nice to us. Exactly. That's all it takes. We'd be great puncher uppers. Oh, absolutely. Because you'd be able to be like, that's stupid. That's going to be embarrassing when you put it to film. Don't do that. Oh, exactly. I do love the preparation for this party. Did you see this dude, Andy? He's got this

really old school, the yellow bag of Doritos. Oh, you love those. Man, it was like looking through time. Very old. Brought back some memories right there, man. For a minute there, I was like, are those Doritos? Like, I kind of was like, wait, they like shifted

on me. I was like, wait, no. Yes, it is it. It's the same yellow as like the Jack's pretzel bag. Funions a little bit. That temper, too. I love this one line. So Mr. What's his face here? Sims. Yes. He's so excited.

And he's talking about how wasted everybody's going to get. He's like, Billy, by the time this party's over, you're going to think you are Santa. And I'm like, baby, you have no idea, Mr. Sims. It's only been 30 minutes. He took some bills too. He gets trashed immediately and pretty good, pretty good drunk acting. Yeah. Oh, it's so funny. There's a crazy thing here where, so they got like some radio playing. I don't know if it's like the store radio, whatever, but it's like Christmas music for the party. and then like Mr. Sims and this old lady who's in

Halloween 4 by the way she plays this like old lady who's like Mr. Sims at the party she plays at the beginning of Halloween 4 where it's like Michael has been in this institution of this hospital has been comatose since

the explosion from part two and she's working as like a nurse or whatever in that facility when he like wakes up I believe she gets murdered by him She's one of the first kills in the movie. She deserves it. She's dancing here to fingering my girl on Christmas Eve.

Yep. But they start singing. They start singing. We wish you a Merry Christmas over the loud radio Christmas song. And so it's like the actors trying to out sing the already kind of too loud music. Very obnoxious.

That gives me a thought. Now, mistletoe. That's a holiday tradition. It is indeed. Did that start out as a thing that perverts invented? Probably. Yeah, yeah. I get to kiss you.

Question answer. No, but I'm just thinking, a toe. And, you know, you think about these tropes in the 80s and 70s and putting your leg under the table to start feeling their footplay. That's kind of a missile toe. Like, whoa, that toe went somewhere. Oh, well, yeah. A missing toe.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I see that. Yeah, yeah, I can see that. Yeah. So, oh, man, it is a real fucking douche show with this Mr. Sims, though, because he's like, he's like, oh, what are you doing? Billy and he's like, uh, I'm thinking about my parents. And he's

like, oh, that's good. A boy should think about his parents on Christmas to which this dude responds. They're dead. This dude just goes, oh, I forgot. Yeah, man, but it's, uh, it's good to remember them, right? You know, it's good to keep him in your memory.

Excuse me, I'm sorry, I have to piss on your leg right now. I'm just, I can't make it to the bathroom. Because that's the level of wasted people are getting at these holiday parties by the way. Pretty bad. Because here's the thing, you can so overshoot it, right? Because your goal right is like, oh, have some cocktails, get a little loose, maybe do

like a holiday hookup in the back room or whatever. But then like, you biff the holiday hookup part. Yeah. But then you keep drinking and you totally overshoot it. And now you're just pissing down your own leg. Yeah. Yeah. With coworkers that you have to see once again after the holiday break. Every year it happened. You and Ben,

you're going to embarrass yourself at a holiday party. That right there, isn't that the American experience right there? You're told your entire life, you are going to fuck one of your co-workers at your Halloween party while you are a little buzz. And it never happens. Then you're like, maybe it'll happen at the Christmas party and it never

happens. And then you just keep on getting drunk and ruin your life. Yes, exactly. And that's sort of almost what happens here. Well, if Andy had the opportunity, perhaps he would because he tells what is it Pamela? Yeah. They're like, oh, let's say, I got a present for you. Oh, it's in the back room. It's not a present for everyone.

Oh, man. Yeah. This guy, Andy, by the way, what was I saying? He looks like he's a cross between like, oh, what is it? The Unknown Pesci brother. Dude, yes. It's, it's, it's, I wrote Joe Pesci. It's Joe Pesci mixed with Harvey Kytel with just a splattering of Joe Piscopo on top of it. Oh, that's a bad mix. That's what this guy, Andy, looks like almost exactly. Well, that's, I mean, that's your, at the topping is your problem there. The Piscopo is where you really head off the cliff right there. It's like topping sushi

with sugar. This guy's got a great night name to. The actor's name is Randy Stumpf. Oh, is he from anything we would know? I don't think so. Something that you know probably. The music documentary stump comes alive.

I don't, I think... I'm pulling up his page. I think it's one of those like he's known for Silent Night, Deadly Night. Not to make this even worse, but like, you know, the other thing that I remember Mr. Sims from, he's the guy who gets electrocuted in the Great Outdoors, the guy who keeps on getting struck by lightning. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. So Randy Stumpf, this was his last movie, which is shocking. What? Yeah. He was. I don't know about shocking. Yeah, I guess that's fair. He was in a couple TV minor roles, stage manager in one episode of the Jeffersons. One episode of bosom buddies as punk number one. Well, at least who's the first one? One episode of Happy Days is Spider. Not bad.

So, yeah, he's got, well, one episode of MASH. He's probably still eating off of that. Yeah, so just smattering of a little TV stuff. Did this movie was probably shamed by those, those. The pearl clutches. Yeah, those religious freaks. Maybe he killed his career. Ciskel and Ebert.

I said it before, man, Raj was a hardcore Catholic boy. He absolutely was. But didn't he love bosoms and things like that. He did. He did, like many of us Catholic boys. Yeah, he's a Protestant at heart. That's really what the difference is. You really just want to listen to

yourself. Uh, so Billy here's some noises coming from the back room and he slowly goes to investigate walks by another real great product placement here for the board game Mouse Trap. Nice. I can see this. The, uh, the game that took 25 minutes to set up and way too long to actually play. So long. Never worked right. Never played it. Never played it. It was garbage, dude. It was, it was, it was, it was, it It was like, it looked so cool because they really did cut a good commercial for it.

Oh, yeah. It made it look really thrilling, all the traps doing stuff. That's right up there with, what was that? Like, Don't Wake Daddy. Don't Wake Daddy was a fucked up commercial. I don't remember. I never played Don't Wake Daddy. Sure.

But I just, I mean, I met one of my best friends, our friend Victor. I met him playing Mousetrap at a summer camp. Oh, wow. There was a free spot and you sat down and you, you got. You were like riverboat gambling, basically, with Mousetrap. It's like, room for one more. Like, yeah, but the, you know, you got to put, you got to put in. The buy-in was $500 for that round of Mouset.

Let me ask you something there. Did your parents give you any quarters for the day? What are you having the way of lunch money? You'd like to pony up to the table. How about we play for slush puppies? Ooh, yeah. That'd be a sketch, right? A riverboat gambler at the lunch table for some reason.

be like, put your yogurt on the table. All right, boy, let's see what you got. Show your cards. Oh, nobody wants a banana. I ain't gonna go. I'm not gonna gamble with bananas. There's a weird thing, and I don't know what Mr. Sims thinks he's doing with this toy store, but like in the

back, right before Billy walks into the stock room, do you notice the section he walks by? It's all, like, I mean, cheap as fuck, obviously, but it's all like really garbage Halloween costumes and like monster makeup. and shit. And I'm like, what are you doing? Save it for next year. That's what you're doing.

Well, that's what it's like, oh, I'll take it down. I'll take it down. Oh, Thanksgiving happened. Oh, no, mother, don't. I'll take it down before Christmas. Uh-oh. All right. Before St. Patrick's Day, I'll take down the Halloween costumes. And then, yeah, you're right. Next thing you know, it's like late September, people are buying Halloween costumes again. That's right. Lazy piece of shit. Lazy people. Well, you know, you keep them up because. I'm preparing for next October. I'm getting a head on it. You leave them up because Christmas Eve is the scariest night of them all. I mean, I guess

that's true. Old man Peabody had more information than we Well, it's not like you're at a best buy in the age of fucking getting a clobbered for a video game. Oh, sure. So, yeah, this girl, Pamela is not into it. She's saying no repeatedly. Let's go back

out to the party. Repeatedly. This asshole's not not listening here. And he starts getting handsy. And again, it's another shirt rip. And this shirt rip, Andy spies the shirt rip, and this is, he just has a complete and total mental break from reality

right here. Uh, and he fucking lifts this dude up. This is some crazy shit. puts Christmas light string around this dude's neck and then lifts him up like he's Jason Borges. Noddy. And, yeah, naughty. And just hangs him until dead. I love it. With one arm and

drops this guy. And then he turns to Pamela expecting the heroes welcome. Obviously, thanks. She's just like, you sick, fuck, why did you do? You know. Then it's like, I got to kill her now. You can just imagine the nun on the phone being like, oh, Jesus, you dressed him as a Santa Claus?

That's bad enough. What? There's a motherly young woman who's kind of flirting with him, too. Oh, no, you got it. You got fire him. I'm sorry. I know I asked you to hire him. fire him. The orphanage is

a VW wagon that I'm trying to drive to the toy store can only go so fast. Belching black smoke out the back. So this dude is immediately like punishment must be given Pamela and she's like screaming and this dude

just slices and dices with this box cutter from the stock room and this poor girl's murdered horribly. Oh well. Well look but hey a nice young lady, a nice young child who gets this as a present You know what? He's thoughtful.

He's a thoughtful boy. This is, when you're watching the rentable transfer of this, this is one of the like all-timers as far as we're cutting to unrestored footage right here. I'm almost kind of part of me wants to re-watch the movie because I'm like, how would this even work without this stuff? Like, it seems like it would just kind of be not as good. Well, that was, there's actually even one moment later in the, the movie where like you're seeing some beat up footage that actually did seem pretty crucial

because when it ends the actor is in like a completely different location and I'm like Jesus like without that footage how did you even understand what was happening at that moment I mean maybe it's just like the the canon editing school which just make it short it doesn't matter dude then finally this Mr. Sims guy boy is it funny he comes in like yo oh oh and like here comes Billy just fucking hits this dude with a hammer and murders it. Oh, so good. Oh, man. You get a good, really good bloodsperd on that one. I was really happy

with that. And then now I'm finally at the point where I'm crossing fingers for characters to get killed because this Mrs. Randall here, I think the lady. She's just because she's drunk. She's horny for Mr. Sims as all get out and she's like, Mr. Sims. I say I say Mr. Sissim just like repeatedly and loudly and the movie's like getting my blood worked up

I'm like kill this woman please kill this lady or have sex with her Sims it's yeah one of two choices here either bone or get rid of her but this lady also looks like Mark McKinney playing an old lady on kids in the hall which is very funny a little bit but yeah so she like tries to run like he comes out he like biff's killing her right here and she like almost gets away. He's chasing around with an axe or whatever. She does the

best. She seems to be really making him struggle. But because Mr. Sims was like, I don't know, like it's going to be such a ranger here. We got to lock the door to the toy store. She can't get out. And Billy's like, oh good, I'm in the outdoor section of the store. Here's a bow and arrow out of nowhere. This lady gets it right through the back. I love this, but it's like, what was that doing in a toy store? Seriously. And it was like, okay, you want to have like a little bow an arrow set with like suction cup arrows, fine. This is a full on, you could fucking take an elk

down with this arrow. It's Utah. You could probably buy a shotgun there as well. Mrs. Sims, you want to turn this into a hunting store slash toy store? Why, that's just what a Walmart would do. And it's pretty great because Billy kills her and like walks off into the

night down the street and they do a nice we're just taking quick shots of all the dead people in this toy store. No real audio or anything, just a real eerie. It's effective. It's a job well done here. This sister Maggie shows up like

way too late. Oh, shoot. Walks in like oh, oh, oh, yep. Yep, yep. Yep, the corpse is here. Yep. Oh, I knew this was coming. You know what? You're all getting into heaven. You know, I'm personally vouching

here. You all get the, I know the man, very close to him. Just start spritzing them with holy water. Yeah, you're fine. There you go. Just a couple of blessings over the top of them there. It is kind of funny. She lets out this huge scream. And they just cut to this terrifying shot of nutcrackers. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the eeriest of all the Christmas decorations. That is what's happening to Billy right now. His nuts are getting cracked from all the Santa stuff. It's really, it's cracking his nuts and

it's making him go nuts. So then we cut to, it's kind of weird because it's like the movie's been going on and like it sort of feels like because we've had those those two other segments of like bad traumatic shit happening with this guy as a kid and then this is the third movement of the movie and it kind of feels like in a way that could have serviced as the finale if this was like a kind of a shorter little like short film segment kind of a thing you know what because I did kind of get the feeling this just it for me this movie is missing just a little bit of something extra. And the thing I think, I kept on thinking was like,

if this had just been like an Alfred Hitchcock presents kind of thing at like a good 55 minutes, it would have been like one of the best they ever did. Oh yeah. Or if you trimmed a little bit of it and it could be like a segment in a like Christmas anthology horror film

that could have worked. But the movie goes on and because we need to like have some more victims it just cuts to this rando couple getting ready to fuck on a pool table. It's so weird. It's just, we ran out of people to kill. We're going to find a new house to do

it. Yeah. And it's like, they're like getting ready to fuck. You know, we got, we got shirts off. We're in various stages of dress here. And this guy this guy is just like, hey, baby, you mind if I turn on some music? Those Christmas carol is outside

are just making my wood fucking go right down, man. He also, he also says that he was going to put, he's like, two ball corner pocket. Oh, yep, that's kind of a pretty. I'm just asking, do you mind if I actually put my testicles into it?

I'm putting my fucking testicles into your vagina. Hey, baby. I don't know if it'll do anything for you, but it'll really turn me on if you let me teabagged this pool table. That's the joke that he's making. So she's like, oh yeah, yeah, these these Christmas carolers aren't really

fucking getting me going either. And he, definitely puts on some sort of fake we might be fucking on Christmas song. A terrible song, right? Because it's just like the Christmas blues. Yeah. Something like, no thank you. But it's like, it is that like Bum, bum, bam, bam,

get your dick out Santa. You know, Santa's coming with a sack. It's she's only got one testicle. The little girl is like, what are you listening to? I don't care what you're doing on the pool table. The fact that there's a little girl in this house

that you don't know it's, until after the kills are done is crazy. I don't know. They're yelling because she comes downstairs. Because that's, but it's funny. I was drunk. I was Mr. Sims. Well, you know, as was the style at the time. Yes.

But no, it's kind of funny because like you're right in a way though because like it's by the way the woman is of course Scream Queen Legend Leanna Quigley. And so she and the guy are downstairs in this basement. It's pool table, blah, blah, blah. And because I think what happens is he says something about putting the music on and she's like not too loud we don't want to wake whatever yeah and then as they're

like getting ready to get it on she comes to the top of the stairs like oh hey uh i can't sleep but they're like stay up there stay that's it don't come any don't come down those stairs don't you come down those goddamn stairs Santa will kill you Santa will kill you to come down those stairs he hates you there is a great line here where she goes uh if you don't go back to bed Santa won't come to which this boyfriend whispers in her ear he's not the only one And instead of being like, oh, you pervert, she's like, you're definitely right. Go to bed. I can't be thinking about you.

You know, if I get in my head, I can't get there. Daddy's trying to make a white Christmas down here. Go to sleep. But you sort of glean that it is this like, it's a babysitter situation. Yeah, because the little girl. Halloween, I mean, it's the Halloween thing. Yeah, little girl calls Leanna Quigley's character like by her first name. It's not mom or whatever.

So it's like, yeah, I got this, I got Tad to come over. and we're fucking in the basement and whatever. So, like, the girl does go back to bed. And then it's like, uh-oh, uh, now she hears like jingle bell jingling outside. And she's like, oh, I have to go let the cat in. And I'm like, lady. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's get our rocks off first here. I agree with that. Yeah, but she heard, oh, I heard the caller. And she lets the cat in, but more than the cat. Because she's like, oh, there you are bad kitty. And the cat runs in. And then you just hear punish. And dude, he comes around the,

corner comes in the fucking house punish. I love it dude. Paniish. You see something naughty, you do something. This is just responsible. But I don't understand how he comes to find these people. Like he just shows up at the house. Just like the look of the house, you know? Maybe there was a sannie claw, a light up sannie Claus

Alcranton. Santa visits every house every year, right? For Christmas. Hey, I'm just doing my job. Exactly. Making my rounds. And it's Utah. There's one house. Wait. So do the Mormons believe in Santa Claus? That's a great question, Chris. I don't know. Do they have, they probably, I mean, knowing them, they probably have a Black Peter type situation. Oh, that could be. Some evil guy. Yes. Yeah. It's that or it's a giant snake they worship. I don't know what goes on. Either or. I mean, both evil, I say. But what is hilarious is like he is chasing Leanna Quigley around this house. They are running, stamping their feet. She is screaming. He does, I got to say, I think this is.

the best kill of the movie. He pulls a fucking leather face right here. This is the best. Lifts her up and mounts her on the mounted deer antler head. Yes. It's a deer head with the antlers still on it and whatnot and just fucking like squishes it right on.

They got this deer head with like a nice molly into the stud or something. The way it's holding up this woman is fantastic. Absolutely. I do. I mean, it's like the Wayne's World camera one, camera two with how they're switching. between the old footage and the regular footage.

It's just like going back and forth and back and forth. Yeah. That's a great way. Because all the puncture, like, I think all the puncture stuff was cut. Yes. It was cut out. Yeah, and now it's restored in this questionable, you know, footage quality, but it looks great. No, it looks, I mean, it's really cool. The special effects are great. Even the old footage is good. I love the look of that. I mean, if there was ever a time, it's fine to watch a grind house quality

print transfer. Like, it's shitty movies like this. So it really adds to it, which is great. But I'm like, okay, like we get a good idea of what this house is. You know, it's kind of like

a ranch-style situation with the downstairs and whatever. It's not a massive purge house or anything like that. How does this boyfriend not hear all the stamping

and screaming and furniture get, like after she's murdered, it cuts back to him like laying on that pool table like bed jeez my girlfriend's been gone an awful long time i mean

the weird that that is weird but like he's just shooting pool well he comes back into the room where she is hanging from the wall and it's like huh what the that's uh and then like he passes her and look behind him and it's like oh my god it's hilarious it's so funny he's got a line

uh if this is some joke i'm gonna kill her which is great. But then Tommy comes out. This guy kind of has a little bit of a slob knocker here. Tommy is the boyfriend. Billy is a killer. Billy comes out, punish. And they get into like, it's kind of like

a pro wrestling fight for a little bit right here. I like seeing someone put up a fight. It's nice. And then it's pretty great. And then he gets thrown at the window, I think. Dude, and it's finally, I'm watching this and I'm like, thank you. This is a more realistic after-effective of jumping through a window in a movie.

This dude's just got the window in his chest. And in his face and he's totally fucking dead. That is what happens. Windows are the dangerous things. You know, those are scary things. How about that for a horror movie? Windows. Oh, look out, dude.

There probably is something out there. Isn't that the name of, oh, this is going to be really done? An operating system. No, that's not the Steve McQueen movie. No, there is an Elijah Wood. thriller of some open windows Yes

And it's a scrolling Like It's like a dab It's a desktop movie though Right Yeah yeah Yeah closed windows are scarier Because you go through the glass

Then yeah Open window You're kind of right Unless you're on the second floor Or above There is a pretty funny movie About a killer lawnmower I think it's called blades

You can get something like that With windows Oh yeah there you go Yeah The window could talk, go up and down. Get out. Yeah. Sadly, that is not the plot to the house with the laughing windows, the Giala movie.

Oh, it's not that. You tried to blind me with these blinds, but I am now free. My eyes are open now, and it is you who will be blinded. And then there's like glass in the eyeballs. Hell yeah. What I like this. Double pain. Oh, double.

Yes. You, you have normal pain. but I who must deal with all of your things have double pain. Oh, no, that's what it is, right? So when the trailer, it's like, this Halloween, you'll feel the pain. And it's written on the poster

and it's P-A-N-E. Exactly. Dude, this is a million dollar. Yeah, when they're looking to make the grim remake of Monster House, please do call us. Oh, absolutely. The live action Monster House.

Yeah, get us going. By the way, speaking of people in lackluster Halloween sequels. This guy playing Tommy gets murdered in Halloween Curse of Michael Myers. Wow. So everyone's in Halloween. I think there's another dude later on in the film that's in part five also. That's crazy. There should be a

what's it called with the Grammy if you get all of the... Oh, you got? If you you should be able to get an EGOT for like someone like just a background player who's been killed in every horror. Oh yes. It's like you got killed by Jason, Michael. a Santa window The lawnmower

Leather face The Lord Christ Yeah all those Hellraise Like the big boy The big boys I'm talking about That would be cool man

I wonder if anyone's crossed All those thresholds Someone had to have done it the most You know obviously hasn't gotten To all of them But like who was killed by the most iconic slashers That's an interesting question

Our dead meet people might have to get on this for us Yeah I don't got the time To take on a project Consult or dead meat buds there, get some numbers running on that. So, yeah, I mean, it's fucked up. Like, the little girl comes out at this point, by the way, after all this murders happen, it's like Santa. And it's like, this is what, this is like, where the movie's like, all right, how, uh, like, awful do you think we're going to be in this

movie? And it's like, is he going to kill this little girl? And I love that, you know, we always have this scene. And I love that it always is kind of the same where it's like, Jason and Jason lives, sees all the kids. You're like, oh, he's going to kill them. And then he just watch some sleep and leaves because he sympathizes with them. Right. Similar here. Yeah. Well, this is more. Have you done anything naughty? No. Are you sure? In Thanksgiving, he feeds the cat. Oh, that's an amazing moment. That is really big. But this, I, this to me calls to, um, like Frankenstein. Like the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, these kind of interactions. Oh, sure. You're always just like on that pens. And of course,

it's much darker in Frankenstein. I was going to say the Frankenstein monster does indeed accidentally kill that girl. But that, the tension of the scene is something. I think they ride a lot with these. Yeah, I mean, it's similar. I mean, just keep using them. Frankenstein movies, Bride of Frankenstein. It's like, is he going to kill that blind guy?

Smoke, good. It's like he smoked you up, monster. Don't kill him. It's okay. Then we cut to these two cops. And then this is where I realized, I was like, the movie at this point, like your anchor through the whole thing is Billy.

But then when we're doing the murder spree, now we're introducing all these characters. And Billy's not really the anchor. as much because like here's these two cops and it's like oh we got a sign to be looking around there's some Santa Claus guy supposedly causing trouble or whatever and I'm like who are either of you I don't care I really back here I don't care but you know that kind of functions in a way that now you never know where Santa's going to strike which is sort of effective towards the last cops kill right because like so right here they're driving along they see a

dude dressed as Santa up on a ladder like going into a window? What kind of fucking psycho is this guy? So they bust through the house. They run upstairs. No knock, by the way. Yeah. Well, it's an emergency. The wife's like, excuse me. The two cops run up the stairs, pull out their guns.

They're going to kill this guy. And it's like the kid recognizes it as her father, daddy, or whatever. It's a great comical. The two cops hear that and look at each other. Daddy. Daddy. The door kicks in. He just says, Meredith, I can explain. But could you like, you're, I mean, I'm sure, I'm sure someone listening does this every year.

Just, I just find it odd to take a ladder and enter your own house through a window as Santa Claus to, I guess. I don't get what the point of this. What was the dad's goal? Because the little girl was totally asleep. So like, what are you doing? It's just the stupidest thing in the fucking world. Because like, it's like, oh, is Santa Claus like the tooth fairy? Like, does he sneak?

Yeah. This isn't even Santa Claus shit. What are you talking about? Yeah. I'll say if any, I want to know about any folks growing up, relatives pretending to be Santa in extreme situations. Right in the mailbag. We all hate movies at gmail.com.

Anyone try to do the Phoebe K's dad from Gremlins? That's a horrible one. What and morrow. Did your parents, did your father ever try doing something from the, like the one in Silent Night, Deadly Night? If so, how many times a year do you allow him to speak to him? And now does, you want to kill people as Santa Claus when you see

sex now. I would imagine so. Please write in. So he goes from killing those two teens there, Leanna Quigley and a dude from Halloween 6 there, and then finds himself just wandering the woods because we cut to these two. This is hysterical

shit. It's two boys who are like clearly at least 16 or 17 years old. Right. They're getting ready to go sledding in the middle of the night. First of all, I have to say, growing up in upstate New York, I know what a good sled path looks like. This is shit. This is absolute fucking shit.

Amateur hour here. Total amateur hour dudes. These two guys are like, all right, we're ready to go down the hill. And like, these actors are way too old for how these two characters are written because then comes in two dudes that look exactly like them and they're supposed to be the scary older boy bullies. It's a difference of like 33 and 36. It is not funny. We do try to like milk some tension here being like, I think there's someone else out there or whatever. And you're

thinking of Santa because you heard the jingle for a second and it's like, oh my God. Right. But then it turns out to be those bullies who then like sucker punched them and steal their sleds. Yep. Now we're going slaying. Very funny. Well, yeah. The minute they steal this, you're like, oh, where is he? Where's my boy? Where's his axe? Where is he? Well, well, he's coming right up. This is great. So the one guy goes down and then the, the bigger, meaner bully goes to start sledding. I get to go sledding first because I'm a big bully. And Santa cuts this dude's head off. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Great fashion. amazing. Nottie. Like this

dude pops out like the Mortal Kombat Toasty guy. It's like here's this bully going down the sled, you know, going down the hill on the sled naughty. Decavitation. You're driving along. You're driving along. It's so good. And then like the guy waiting for his buddy to come down the hill like

yeah, we got the little kid sleds right, Beaufort. Dude, where's your head? Yeah. Oh man. It's awesome. This guy just does it. I got to say this guy this bully screaming? This dude's got a good scream on it. I felt like John Travolta at the end of blowout and watch the movie. I'm like, yeah, it's a good scream. It's a good scream. It can feel it. It can feel it right here. The head rolling after it. That's a great ending by the way. I just we watched blowout again. What a great movie. Primo motion picture. Yeah. The sled coming down with

just the corpse on it is great. And the head rolling after it, which you have to feel like Billy picked that up and threw it down the hill, right? That wasn't just the force of the thing. He was Got stuck. Okay. You're going to want this. Play some soccer. So sister Margaret at some point is like, oh, by the way, he's probably going back to the orphanage, which he should be because this mother superior should have been the number

one villain or the number one victim or whatever. You know what I mean? So it's like, oh, man, he's going back there. All units respond to the orphanage or whatever. Right. She's with like a detective or something going there by yourself. Dude, this is nothing old guy detective out of nowhere. Like the thing is like, you know,

something like Halloween or something, like this would have been a character throughout the entire film. Yes. But it's barely a role. I don't think the guy even has a name. It's just like detective. The problem is they blow their load.

In doing all of the people at the workspace in the one like moment, like there's only one crime scene. There's nothing to grow to. That's the thing. It's like, and I know, I understand folks, it's Utah. There's no real towns or anything. Sure.

But the, like, it's something like Halloween, you get a texture of the town. Yeah. You know the kids come and go. You see the adults come and go. The sheriff's got the name. You have a feel for what that town is. You do not have that here. You have just the toy store and then everything that comes after it.

You could have tried it integrated a little more, have like a town center where you see this cop at some point earlier in the middle. Well, because that stuff's always mislabeled as downtime stuff. And I'm like, no, it's important. It is important. You can't just say like, yeah, okay, people aren't getting killed or fucking. I'm sorry. It's atmosphere and it helps you buy into the premise, buy into the film.

It feels like a real place. Yeah, I mean, like if, let's say, Leanna Quigley and the boyfriend, or maybe it's just Leanna Quigley's character, came into the toy store, oh, I got to get something for my cousin or whatever. And then, like, Billy sees her at one point. Like, that's at least something. She flashes some way. I mean, like, oh, well, maybe that, you know, sure.

Small stuff to just get. this some character. Yeah. So this APB goes out for Billy. The dude is like, and by the way, we are authorized. You shoot that Santa on site. You understand. Shoot to kill. Yeah. And this one cop responds. This is the dude, I believe, that's also in Halloween 5 playing some doctor. This trigger happy cop here. They roll up to the orphanage and there's a Santa approaching the children and they light them up. From the back, dude. He doesn't even get a look at this guy's fucking face. Great, a little, you know, I guess squibs or whatever. Great a little

effect. We're here seeing the blood come out of this dude falls down. It turns out he was like what, Father O'Malley? He was the priest that they hired and do the Santa thing to the kids. I guess priest. Oh yeah, that's because like the sister Margaret, like here's the report over the detectives radio

and she's like no, no, the physical description of that guy is all wrong. That's not Billy. That sounds like Father O'Malley or whatever. And then the guy's like, well, he said he screamed his name and he didn't turn around. And he's like, that's because the priest is deaf. And I'm like, you just shot this deaf old man in front of children.

Oh, God. Yeah, you're fired. It's like so funny. It's like so many points, like when he gives that box cutter to the little girl after Denise and Tommy are killed. Oh, yes. I don't know if we'd mention that. But that and then this, you have, you're springing up tons of other.

Oh, you're making a little army of buildings. Exactly. she's going to become the Easter bunny eventually yeah it's gonna it's all gonna come back to you well that's the thing is you take in our Santa Con version you have like a quick flashback and one of the killers was one of the kids at this

at the orphanage yeah he made his way to the big city and look out so yeah the mother superior like brings all the kids inside or whatever and she's like trying to distract them by singing like Christmas carols and shit while this other cop like goes exploring the grounds or whatever

looking around. This part where he like goes into a weird like outside basement kind of thing. It's like that scene from tar like he's going down into this thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Searching for this. Weird dogs turns around bashes his head on the on the stairs. Oh no, it's nothing. I fell down a little bit. Sorry. I mean it's like a weird staircase to a bunker is some shit.

I don't know what's going on here. Yeah. This this whole ending sequence is a little weird. geography-wise, but it's still kind of cool. It's cool. Like, dude doesn't find anything, so he comes back out of the basement, and then it's just punish. And this dude, much like Scatman Crothers and the Shining, gets a fucking

axe right to the chest. Yeah, dude dead instantly here. Toasty! Yeah, no, it's a, yeah, he is a toasty, absolutely. So, like, here, oh, Billy's on the premises, blah, blah, blah. I do love the great thing. Right before he goes into the orphanage, he uses the axe to decapitate

that snowman. That's great. got to put that in the kill count. That is part of the body count. That snowman lost his life. Yep. That's children's dreams. He's killing children's dreams. It's very nice. He's slaughtered a child's imagination over there. Okay. Body count. What was naughty about that imagination? Uh, so. People shouldn't be snow. Anyway. Humans are flesh and blood. We're not making human people out of snow. Yeah. Okay. Santa killed my parents. That's bad enough. A snowman ate my brother.

We're due for a classy reboot of Jack Frost the snowman horror movie. Way less carrot-related jokes. Like, let's make it a real serious horror. Yeah. Yeah, steal the beginning of the sentimental Jack Frost with Michael Keaton, where he's a blues man. Oh, yeah, the Jack Frost blues band.

Like the Invisible Man, and it's like a tech bro that accidentally turned himself into water or something. He turns into ice just to have a four. Yeah, I know. I like that. Mr. So, great. So, yeah, he marches.

A little kid lets him in. It's like, oh, Santa's here. And the kid opens the door. And like, I got to tell you, this is the biggest non-payoff tease of this movie. He is ready to slay this Mother Superior. The person you have wanted dead from, like, like that second movement of the movie. Like from the moment you meet this character

you want her fucking iced. And you want her dead even more now because she's yelling, hey, no, no, there is no Santa Claus to keep these kids away from them. Come on. You're ruining the magic for the kids. William, listen to me. Lieutenant Pembre, this woman. Put your face

under her face and pretend to be a dead nun and get them to take you out. Oh. That's Mother Superior there. God damn it. You talk to her. her name's Mother Superior Oh, poor Jim Pembrey, dude But he is shot before he can

Kill her, unfortunately Yeah, this fake detective character Just ices So many people getting shot in the back In this movie, but I don't know So he's dead And then it's just sort of the last thing you see is And this I didn't entirely tie together

I had to like be told this part because the little boy is not really there's one scene with this little boy before where you're supposed to get that it's the little brother who was the infant at the time of the murder and now is like this little kid terrible job.

It doesn't even come off here but it's like he's the little brother of Billy he sees his brother dead and he looks at the mother superior and just goes naughty and it's freeze frame punch he does I mean that is that little boy becomes garbage day

in part two. Oh, that's beautiful. See, we can all become something. That little boy grew up to sick. It's the circle of life. Garbage day. I do love that. Oh, it's great. It's so great. We're playing another creep fake fucking Christmas song at the end here. Just

it's some like, Santa's watching. He's always watching. That's true. You'll marry you in an unmarked grave. He's Santa Claus. That is the end of this movie, the end of Silent Night, Deadly Night.

Yes, it would indeed spawn four sequels. Jesus. Only one of which people give a shit about. But I will say, actually, I've seen, I have not seen the Money Helman part three. I've seen four, no, I've definitely seen five, though, because five is the Mickey Rooney Toymaker movie. Oh, wow. I did not see this. I don't think I've seen that one.

It's dumb as shit. I watched it on Shudder, I think last holiday season. I got to get on this. Would recommend. And it's fucking funny because Mickey Rooney was one of the people that came out against that first movie? Oh, geez, what do you got to show little Santa Claus

getting all the kids all scared for? Oh, I'll be in part five. Did they get so angry when, I guess not, because it's different, it's Santa Claus on the attack over Scrooge. I guess he's an action hero in that, so he's not actually getting killed. Yeah, he's still kind of saving the day. But still, like, slandering his image, I would say.

That's true. And the answer is no, because these people really enjoy picking and choosing their outrage here. But that is going to do it for this motion picture. Go around the horn here. Final thoughts, Eric Siska? Yeah, no, I think this is, I mean, there's obviously a few faults in it. It's not like a perfect movie. It's just nearly perfect. Sure.

I think it's a lot of fun. I think it's kind of a great movie to put on around the holiday season when you kind of wish Halloween didn't end, which is kind of me all the time. So I would recommend it and I think it is a lot of fun. obviously it's not as good as window the horror movie for instance, but you could do a lot worse. I enjoyed this film. Chris Cabin. This

I recommend it for sure. It's a good introduction to slasters if you're not trying to go with the big ones. Yeah. If you're just trying to get like a lean and meaner, like just go one in and it means like even the uncut version of 84 minutes, it really does fly right to fuck by. Oh yeah.

But yeah, there's like not much to it. Like as we've been saying, it's there's not much to it and that's both a positive and a negative for me and I think it's worth I mean I think so saw this

I think two years ago I was like I like and she had to like she saw a scream first and she like was freaked out by the Drew Barrymorekill sure but like now she's gone in

and she likes this one she likes a few other ones so like yeah I would recommend it yeah I totally recommend this movie I'm still more of a Christmas evil Stan myself it is a better movie

but this is really good and it's been a while since I'd seen it and I think it's totally totally worth your time it's quick and again like you know there is

a wealth of holiday horror they're churning them out every year there's more of them now and like I gotta tell you just like anything

it is too much of a good thing and like some of these movies are just not good but this entirely works I think I would recommend it so check it out that's gonna do it for this episode if you want

more we hate movies. We are going holiday crazy. Right now, if you are on our Patreon at the $8 level or up, you're listening to this holiday horror episode ad free. That's right. No advertisements. No ad reads by us. No ad reads inserted. That is available to you now. Yes, indeed. And we're having all kinds of stuff going on. The side shows here are animation damnation. We are dealing with the absolutely terrible Doug's Christmas special. Oh, man. Doug's Christmas special or story

or whatever it's called where the town is trying to kill his dog pork chop. Chris Cabin freaked out. He hated that fucking. I really do. You have to listen to his vitriol and also listen to us struggle to get through the Star Wars holiday special.

I think I mentioned it earlier up top. We did that on the Gleap Gloucestry, a special presentation, 60th episode of the Glee Plossary. Oh yeah. Our Star Wars Shine show where in this time we went big deep dive on that Star Wars holiday special redoing an episode we did eight or nine years ago. Part do I believe is what we wish we should be. It's Redux. Calling it. On the once in a lifetime of course we were going to be doing a very nutty Christmas with Melissa John Hart. Speaking of terrifying nutcrackers, man. Right. So this is a lifetime movie about a nutcracker that comes to life and

tries to romance a lady. So get on that. That's at the $10 level. There's so much stuff going on. We've got a commentary track on the Prisoner of Ascaband, the Harry Potter motion picture. That's right. That'll be coming out towards the end of this month. Christmas times all over that movie. You get your Christmas section of Harry Potter stories, of course. Of course. And like we would be bringing up Melro 210, but there's really nothing Christmassy about. There's a big fucking fat episode on there for you anyway. Take a break from Christmas and hit the beach with Melro 2 and O. That is a recap show where we talk about Beverly Hills 9-0-2-1-0 and Melrose Place.

And if you also want another break from Christmas, the Nexus is back to the regularly scheduled programming after our episode with Search for Spock. We are now just doing an episode of TOS and an episode of TNG. I haven't looked at the TNG episode yet. Maybe they're doing like some Dickensian Christmas shit on the holiday. I mean, you never know. Sometimes the Nexus lines up in a weird way like that. Mr. Data. I'm playing Charles Dickens on the holiday.

I get to say street urchin. Why don't you, Charlie, my dickens. And here on the Tuesday feed, Tuesday lineup of episodes, I should say, the holiday fun rolls on next week. And if Steve Sadek we're here, he'd be telling you we're talking about a movie even more terrifying than this movie, Chris Gavin. Oh, love actually. Finally, we are doing this punk of shit. I have never seen the whole thing. Oh, my. God, Eric. Clips. It looks

it looks like not for me. I'm excited to dig in. Full on nightmare town. Just get ready for it, baby. I've seen this movie approximately one time. No, exactly one time, as a matter of fact. But what I didn't recall, dude, we're looking at like two hours and 15

minutes. Oh, baby. There's a lot of actors in that movie and they all get their time. They certainly do. So until next week, we're talking about the holiday horror spectacular. That is Love Actually. I've been Andrew Jupin. Eric Siska. Chris Cabin. Take it easy. Thank you.