We Hate Movies - S14 Ep720: Saw X
Episode Date: January 30, 2024“Poor Beethoven and Droopy are never gonna get high again!” - Chris, on the crooked veterinarian in this movie On this week’s episode, we’re ending our survey of some of last year’s bigges...t stinkers with a real wild one on the [EDITOR’S NOTE: Not too terrible! - Andrew] ninth sequel in this most miserable film franchise, Saw X! How fun is it to see John Kramer actually walking around the room while his traps are being executed? How is no one noticing Amanda running through that dance club with the Pig Mask get-up on? Who signs their last will and testament at a blustery, outside cafe? How funny is it to have Jigsaw shopping at a crummy liquor store? And how many sequels can they squeeze in between all these other sequels? PLUS: Jigsaw gives Letterboxd his Top Four! Saw X stars Tobin Bell, Shawnee Smith, Synnøve Macody Lund, Renata Vaca, Joshua Okamoto, Octavio Hinojosa, Paulette Hernandez, Jorge Briseño, Costas Mandylor, Michael Beach, and Steven Brand as Parker Sears; directed by Kevin Greutert. This episode is brought to you in part by Rocket Money! Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney dot com slash WHM. That's RocketMoney dot com slash WHM. RocketMoney dot com slash WHM! Be sure to catch us THIS THURSDAY, February 1, at 9pm/est as we chat LIVE about THE FLASH! We’ll also be doing a post-show hang where we’ll be answering audience questions live! Can’t make the show this Thursday night? We got you covered! Show will be available for a full SEVEN DAYS after the broadcast! We’re gonna be heading south this spring, gang! Catch us in Atlanta, Houston and Austin in just a few months! Click through here and snag your tix now! It’s our first time in ATL in SEVEN years, first time in SIX years for Austin, and our FIRST TIME EVER in Houston! We def wanna make a splash, so come on through—we wanna see you there! Want more WHM? Join our Patreon fam today and instantly unlock hours and hours of exclusive bonus content, including Ad-Free WHM Prime at the $8 level and up! Make the WHM Merch Store your one-stop shop for all your We Hate Movies needs! Including new Polish Decoy, ‘Jack Kirby’, and Forrest the Universal Soldier designs!
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This week on the show, it's the age-old tale of a boomer getting brain-pilled by lies on the internet.
It's Saw X.
I'm Andrew Kramer.
Eric Soska X.
Chris Cabin.
And we hate movies.
Hello everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies.
Thank you for tuning into the program, as always.
If you're new to the show and finding us because you're a big Saw fan, we're a comedy show where we take a movie and kind of just poke fun at it a little bit.
And that's right. Saw X is up this week from last year, directed by Kevin.
Grutter or maybe Grutter, Griter. I don't know. Grutter. Grutter. We got the Gruder. We got the Gruder. We got the Grutter on the saw this time. We got, we got him man in the fucking blade. McGruder. Saw Maestro, right? He was an editor and he directed some of the other films. Oh, they're keeping in the family, huh? Oh, yeah. I think, well, this, you know what it is, Chris Cabman. It's like, it's a 10th movie in a franchise. You're not looking to outsource this shit. It's like, all right, who wants to do this one? Who drew the short?
Who else is emotionally, you know, invested in this already
and is going to maybe do this for a little less than we would normally ask
in the James Wan years?
Yeah, I should get out in front and say,
I don't hate this movie and I do think it's the second best saw movie of all.
You know, I think I agree with you because it took them 10 movies to find like
motive for the killings.
I think if I was thinking normally, I would probably agree with that assessment because
it is, it is like probably the second best directed of the whole bunch. I kind of give
the first one more credit than it deserves because it is the first one and because
James Juan is there. What's his name? Lee Wynnell gets going from that. There's quite a lot
there. I appreciate that it happened more than I actually liked the movie. But I see its value. And
then jigsaw, I think, is genuinely well-directed.
This one is just under that, but I still hate it.
And the reasoning is very, very simple for me.
I just find this so cynical.
Like, I find this more cynical than almost, and not just like what is, you know, all saws
are cynical, but like, the actual, like, curb into like, well, you know, maybe we give
John Kramer a little bit more credit than he already has.
Maybe he's not that bad of a guy, okay?
Well, you know, and it's kind of funny, Chris.
I mean, I totally hear you.
And I had, because I was thinking about your criticisms of this movie this morning when I was rewatching it.
And by the way, when the sun is shining and it's 9 a.m.
And you're watching Saw X.
Boy, I was doing some real reevaluating of my existence.
But I was thinking about your criticisms of it.
I think what's kind of interesting is like, you're totally right.
But also, yes, this is the first time.
we see this kind of action with John Kramer,
but only because this is also the first time in 10 movies
where they've put him in that kind of a position.
So, like, I don't know, maybe he would have been doing this the whole time
if these were movies where, like, he was present more
and he was actually watching the traps be executed
and this, that, and the other thing.
But maybe we would have seen this lighter side.
That's John Kramer.
Possible, but, like, it's not an alternate universe.
happens in between movies that already existed and we know how this all ends like it's like
that the idea here and it's a from a marketing standpoint i get it completely especially from a
like we got to break out of the cycle kind of idea and like while also keeping our star i i get
why they did this but like to me it's so ridiculous to put so much fucking you know what has
dragged down all these movies is the constant like connecting of the other fucking
movies and the backstories and all this and this movie's like hey fuck that like honestly
no it's like i know what yes it is but it's been like the whole movie has just been chugging
along and like belching dust for fucking years because it keeps doing it and then it's like well
finally what you know what finally yeah we'll do it and we're going to do it we're going to set
it right in the middle of the other movies suggesting like literally to me it suggests a alternate
universe of the
John Kramer
universe. Right. Because
this is just such like bullshit, like
nice guy bullshit. I'm like, he wasn't
a nice guy when we see the
his backstory before
he even became. Well, he's kind of
a piece of shit then. That's
actually kind of true. But he was
trying to make a health clinic. We're making a health
clinic. So they're in those back
story of John Kramer, there is
sort of a attempt at, I
guess helping people
in some way. But he keeps on telling his
his sainted, his sainted wife
past wife, ex-wife, ex-wife, I guess now.
Jill saw, please. Jill saw.
Jill saw. She got door
pushed. Whenever she's working there,
he's like, you know, you should think about maybe
leaving that place. It's not exactly safe for you
in the baby. Like, he
immediately, even if he put funding into it, he's
immediately like, no, it's not, it's not dangerous
because I saw a brown person
walking in there. And like,
I just don't get
why you're, like, other than just to save the franchise, I don't see why you do this kind of
complete swer. Chris, it reinvigorates the franchise because you take Saw on the road,
you know? I would like more Saw Travelog movies, sort of like the trip or the trip to Greece.
Alexander Payne's, Alexander Payne's Saw 11. Yeah. Yeah, that's right, Amanda. We're going to go to
Greece and we're going to sit down at all these nice restaurants and we're just kind of going to
improv for a little bit and eventually we're going to find one of the members of the serving team
and we're going to put some traps on him. Here's my Michael Kane impression. You weren't supposed
to blow the bloody doors off. Was that good? Was that good? Did it sound like him?
Have you ever seen a fish called Wanda? Wonderful film. Can I get more squid here?
hey jigsaw this is samantha from letterbox what's your top four
oh god fish called wanda definitely
when harry met sally for sure oh god when she when she's like i hate you harry i hate you
boy i just laugh and cry at the same time um i know it's you're good you're gonna laugh
a little bit the iron giant i mean it just gets me every time just a big old the tears
The eyes just well up, and I cannot, the connection to a machine, the way I feel that, you know, I feel that in my heart, connection to a jolly machine that rips a person's face off.
And then, of course, the Suprudeau film, you know, inspired me as a boy.
It's a short, I know, but I'm sneaking it in.
It was a toss-up between Zapruder film and Pinocchio.
What with all the puppet, puppet shit going on that movie?
The Roberto Benini version, by the way.
Oh, my God.
John Kramer would be great
setting up that island for
what was it, misfit boys or
what was that? Oh man. That donkey
island? Yeah, donkey island.
Oh, hey there, little
boy, if you don't pass this test,
you're turning into a donkey.
I made an
entire metal whale that eats
children. I like this, turn into
a donkey, like we get magical traps
now, you know? Yeah, totally.
I've been studying the dark arts, of course
Amanda. But then you do
have to watch at least 30 minutes
in the film of him drawing the
schematics and like getting very
detailed about it. Because you have to remember
he's not stupid. He's very
smart. He always a genius. Of course he is.
Even though he's done like the stupidest
shit in the world
into and including this film.
Like
I actually actually I meant to be water
boarded with blood. That was part of
my plan. I got it.
That's how I get off.
Yeah. Blood boarded.
complete moron
and no but like he's a civil engineer
he's an architect so he's very smart everybody
it's not that he's stupid and falls for
it constantly
I mean this is yeah go ahead
I got a question about the timeline
you know while we're setting up this
new alternate universe you're calling it
Chris
Saul one came out in 2004
was that not set in 2004
because under goofs on IMDB
yes it says that
this film is set in
2001.
Yeah, I don't know what's going on there.
I kind of always assumed that that first saw was 2004,
but I think what you got to do here is we're pulling details probably from some
of them later sequels where shit's really convoluted.
And maybe somewhere in there, they mentioned like, oh, back when Danny Glover found that
dude in the bathroom in 2001 or whatever the fuck.
But Danny Glover gets killed that movie.
I did look at it is.
Apparently they said that, like the Wikipedia said that Saw 1 was written in 2001.
So maybe they were, it was supposed to be set then?
I don't really know.
But the goofs here on IMDB are so fucking funny.
It's like set in 2001, John Kramer has a Gmail account.
Gmail didn't exist in 2004.
He's offered this tequila that didn't exist yet.
It's, it goes on and on.
It's a lot of that stuff.
Dude, the goofs are pretty thorough.
I have to say, we're talking about like cell phone models also like,
Oh, so-and-so, like the woman who plays Cecilia
has this Motorola phone that didn't come around until 2004.
I appreciate the lack of life a person must have
to get them deets up on the IMDB.
Like real stunning wastes of time.
Really appreciate it.
Oh, yeah.
If you don't have hobbies and you are just like watching these things
with like a pen and pencil and like pausing your 4K of Saw X
to fucking find the little details to make it make sense.
Like that is just a sad existence
I'm sorry for you if you are that person
I don't mean to hit your existence
even more than already happened clearly
But someone listening is like hey
I'm sorry
I added those
And like I'm literally here with a pen and paper
With my saw X notes
I kind of feel like that as well
I'm close to it close I'm very close
But now 2001 now apparently
The sequel to this is supposedly
going to be a direct sequel from the events
of this film hopefully John
Kramer sees the towers go down and the next one, man, is him making gadgets against Al-Qaeda or
something. Oh, yeah. Hello, Sama. I want to play a game. You know, someone tells me you like
Seinfeld DVDs. You know what? Get Sam Rockwell back as Bush and like see him get Kramer out
there. What movie was he doing Bush? In Vice. He's a, oh, sure. That movie is terrible. I went
back to that movie. You forget how fucking bad it is.
No, I didn't.
It's so much worse than you can either, like, consent.
He tries every fucking idea he ever had.
Adam McKay, you mean?
Yeah, Adam McKay just throws everything at the wall in that movie and none of it sticks.
I just love that one shot of, you know, big old fat Christian Bale looking down at the guy that fell off the telephone pole or something.
Oh, right.
That's all I remember from the movie.
The only good stuff about, oh, now we're talking about it's way too much.
That's okay.
In the early scenes when they have Dick Cheney, like they actually dramatize.
the fact that Dick Cheney, when he was younger,
was a piece of fucking shit.
Like, drunk all the time.
And how to sell.
Starting fights all the fucking time.
Oh, yeah.
It's just an absolute hillbilly piece of shit.
And like, hellbilly.
They actually give like some of that, some dramatization
before they get into all this shit.
But once the shit starts, it's bad.
It's real fucking bad.
See, Chris, vice is on our minds because a vice is sort of like a saw trap, right?
It is.
That's, that's, that's, that's, that's,
very true. So we start this movie and like, God bless it, we're back to the rusty ass piece
of shit Lionsgate logo. That gets everybody in the mood to watch these movies. Oh, yeah.
And this is John Kramer. He's getting a cat scan. And I, dude, we have a little league of
skeleton shit here. Like, he's got this cat scan and we're doing like superimposed like the skull
pictures over it. And I was like, man, just one of those, just one of them. You need to
flash Billy the puppet over his face. Just one time you have to do that, it would be so perfect
and everybody would eat that shit up. They absolutely would. That's the tumor. He's got a little
puppet in his head. Oh, the puppet is malignant. We can't cut this out of you. That'd be the only
way you could get that thing through TSA. How does he get that to Mexico City? Dude, how are we
getting a lot of stuff to Mexico City or just sourcing it in Mexico in general? Do not even open
the Pandora's box about
how any of this shit happens.
Well, you have to open the Pandora's
box, Christopher, because that's how the
game starts. Fucking Gabriel
bringing Gabriela out of
that club in the middle of a
like 200 people are at this fucking sex
club. Just that good, dude.
And just that good. Just
that good. And visibility cloak, like
Potter. No, well, this
don't mind the giant
pig head at the club, everyone.
I mean, I gotta say that as much as I do, you know, I'm fine with this movie.
I'm not gonna use the L word and say that I like it, like it, but like, the, an unfortunate thing of this movie is they're doing a lot of that stuff and saying a lot of that stuff and getting away with a lot of that stuff with the shitty presumption or excuse rather of like, well, it's Mexico, you know what I mean?
It's like, oh, girl got kidnapped by a pig mask person right out of a crowded dance club.
Well, it's Mexico.
Once we get to Mexico, there is a taxi driver who takes them around to see like these beautiful, amazing structures.
And he's like, you see that?
Yeah, that's actually a piece of shit.
This place is a piece of shit.
And actually, uh, it's dangerous here.
I could do that.
I could do those Aztec saw traps.
Oh, body rolls downstairs.
Big deal.
Yeah, yeah.
Big whoop. I bet the Aztecs didn't put a metal helmet on some guy's face and kill him with a pear trap.
A ripped a heart out big fucking deal. God damn it. The depiction of Mexico is, yes, we are doing the yellow tint, everyone.
Oh, man. Just a scotch, but not like traffic bad. It's there. At the start, when he first gets there, like at the airport or whatever. Yeah. But it lightens up a little bit once we, because they kind of go outside of the city. And I think that's when it's like, oh, I could finally.
breathe. It's not as yellow anymore.
Yeah, exactly.
So he's at this cancer
support group really quickly here at the beginning.
And, you know, again,
I think it's kind of fascinating
to see John Kramer moving and shaken
in the real world. So he's at this
meeting for, you know,
fellow people afflicted with cancer.
And he hears
from this dude, Henry Kessler,
that is stage four
pancreatic cancer. And that's
kind of the only thing we get about him right there.
We have another doctor telling him, you know, hey, you got like a year, maybe some months here.
And he's like, I still have a lot of work that needs to be done.
And this dude's like, hey, here's an idea.
Why don't you retire and just live out, you know, the rest of your life as best he can.
And he's like, so your advice to me is to die easy.
You piece of shit.
That's, you know what?
You're going to get a bear trap on your dick because of that.
I'm not going to do the full face one like I want to.
But I'm going to do something to you and your children.
I'm not going to die easy
John McLean gets to die hard
Why would I have to die easy
What is the deal with this doctor though
Because I thought
I mean I guess you know
You see a bunch of different doctors
When you have an affliction like this or whatever
But like wasn't Carrie Elway's his doctor at one point
Isn't that the whole thing?
In America he is his doctor
Well this is in America right here too
Yes it is but Carrie Always is already dead now right
Because this is between one and two
Because he's already started sure
Yeah that's like the
the new guy but then it's also like
how long is this fucking can't like
you got a month to live okay
yeah that can you fit about 15
movies in that's well that's
another another problem with this movie
is you don't understand
because you can't
what exactly is going on with the passage
of time i.e. like
what is the length of time the most important
one is what is the length of time between him
figuring out he's been hilariously
duped by people on the internet
and him
executing all of these traps on these people
over the course of one wild night
you know
like you don't get that so I'm like yeah
if he's got months to live but you're like
bringing in all of this fucking
engineering equipment and whatever
I you know
it's best not to think about it Chris
it's a Pandora's box you open it
this thing to
imagine when he when fucking
whoever has to propel down
from the ceiling in
fucking Cecilia's house to
grab her. And there's apparently
no fucking security on the building. I think that's
Amanda. No, but the thing is with this, it's
like you could have just drove. An old man
in a van, he could have seen
at the border, but then you wouldn't set up the
taxi driver Diego, who turns out to be
the fake Dr. Cortez.
You'd have to have just a different scene
to convey that. Yes. Right. That's true.
I love this scene of him
leaving this doctor's office and he's waiting
for the... Or no, he goes to a water fountain
and he sees this janitor, like,
like in this guy's room.
And the janitor
is like sifting through a draw here
like considering stealing this dude's wedding band
and watch or whatever. And John
Kramer pulls a full on
usual suspects right here
because he looks around the room
and he's like, boy, I sure would love to kill
that guy in a trap. Huh.
If I were to build one of these traps right now,
what could it consist of? And he sees like
the dude in the hospital bed that
has like all the bones in his body
broken or whatever and he's got his hand.
in some contraption, kind of like
when Dr. Strange has the car accident
and he's like in all these braces or whatever.
And then you cut to
this room and it's
like, oh, there's the finger things.
Hello, janitor. And this dude's
got like tubes on his eyes or whatever.
And this is a pretty cool sequence,
but I got to say, I do not appreciate
the fucking trap fake out.
And this is just a dream sequence. It's bullshit.
It's stupid that it's a fake out.
It is, but it's showing you
his process. It's his creative process.
says, and what they don't show you, and I did, I got a little pissed at this, is he is
very clearly jerking off while he's thinking of this. Oh, absolutely. I don't know about it.
He is not in sight of the thief, so he has some room to really put out. Yeah, yeah. Chris,
do you think he's got some cock traps for his own, like pleasure, you know? Oh, oh, for sure. I
don't know if they're metal made. He's probably smart enough not to know, put his own little
they're probably made out of the flesh of his victims. You know what? That is actually, he has a lot
of material there it's it's an actual fleshlight oh no oh no very possible eric but yes he we do get this
i suck it's the best uh trap in the movie to me for for sure it's a solid one i love the eyeballs
dropping down into the box just like dunk dunk i also like it because like i'm kind of the one
thing i will give this movie about it's decision on the deaths i think a lot of them are not
particularly good but like
I do like one thing
and that is that now we are
having more survivors
right yes like that is to me
much more interesting than like
and I my my theory here
is that of course they are all going to try
again to kill John Kramer in the next
one and get sawdrapped to death
so now this is both of you have
mentioned the next one has there been
a greenlit
at least according to Wikipedia
it said sequel
Well, in December 2023, Lions
Get announced a sequel, Saw 11
scheduled to be released, September 27th,
2024, and it's supposed to be a direct
sequel to Saw Act. And that's why
I am 100% sure,
because you mentioned Kessler in the beginning,
that is played by, I forget the guy's name,
Black Mantis's father from Aquaman.
He's a really good actor.
Michael Beach. Michael Beach, thank you.
Good, man.
He is, you only see him
like one more time after this,
and that's it. He's definitely coming back.
And there's one of the victims
that will 100% be coming back.
Oh, yeah.
But, like,
you're just, like, winding
it all back up here. Like,
that's why I kind of think of it in the alternate
universe way is because, like,
it, we've gone, we've gone away from
all the grubby, shitty, like,
aesthetics. Like, even Saw 3D
looks like shit. Like,
it looks a little better than, like, of course,
the digital stuff. We do get to warehouses.
in this and just sitting around warehouses, but they
look better, they're lit better. Exactly.
That's, I think, we're getting
away from the grubbiness of it. Like, Jigsaw
was the first one to actually make it
look really good. Jigsaw looks great. Chris,
you are really selling me on this being a Calvin
timeline. I'm telling you,
it's the only thing that makes sense to me.
Because, like, I think it all ends with
Saw 3D is the last of that
timeline. And both Jigsaw
and Spiral were attempts
to rejig, like, rejigger it,
completely refiguer it.
what can we do with this now that fucking John Kramer is not with us anymore.
And I don't know about Shawnee.
I forget how Shawnee Smith and Costas Mandelor end up in all this show.
I just graduated Softlyde Academy.
Oh, there it is.
There it is.
Amanda and detective Costas Mandelor graduates of Soft Lead Academy.
Absolutely.
I think to your question, Chris, Amanda eats shit at the end of the third.
one maybe. She gets shot in the same room, I think, that Jigsaw winds up dying in.
Oh, yes. But it's smart, I think, because I think it's kind of smart to do this because who gives
a shit about the actors aging? Horror fans don't care about shit like that. No. No. So why, like
Tobin Bell and and Shawnee Smith are arguably the better things in this franchise, keep
them going. Yes. Yeah. I actually, because you, again, because you are seeing the two of them
work together throughout this whole movie
and it's way more interesting
to me at least than like
yep we set all this shit up
days ago and now you're just watching it
unfold like in this it's like
we don't see the set up days ago
but they are present for
these things taken off
I like that they're in the room a lot
I like that there's one part in this movie
where the one girl
decides fuck you I'm not going to
play that tape and she throws the tape recorder away
and he's like oh
that's not how this works.
Luckily, I've got the script to that tape
right here and I'm just reading it over the
microphone. I didn't delete the files
did I. Oh, fuck. Where's my word?
Also, no police after
him right here. Nothing. Which is good
because I get tired of like
a Donnie Wahlberg type wandering
around, a darkness, you know?
Because that shit is, it's
never interesting. I'm sorry. Unless the
police are the focus of the movie, like a
seven situation. Yes. It always
sucks. And I'm calling it out right
a movie that I think would have been a thousand times better,
even though I did have a ball watching it,
that Beekeeper movie is totally hamstrung by these two
useless FBI characters that are 30 minutes behind the whole movie
the entire time, and it's awful.
There's a few more hamstringing up the beekeeper,
but I do agree with you that is a major issue.
Honey glazed hams.
Many haggins.
So Michael Beach, so we have this cancer scene
where they're like, he's like, oh, God, and
I got stage 4
pancreatic cancer
and I'm getting ready to die
but I'm still pissed about it
and you can see John Kramer is really into that idea
and is like oh yeah
fuck that fuck what does the lady
say like
well no it's not to die easy but she's like
think of like you're passing on
to another life like she's trying to like
tell them to like accept things
in a way and they're like fuck that shit
I want to kill a few people on my way
out. Well, right, because this dude, Kessler
says, I have stage four pancreatic cancer.
It's terminal. I am determined
to fight this thing till the very end.
And John Kramer's like, ooh, a fighter.
I like that. I like a fighter.
And then it's, I think, like,
months later, he's at a
sidewalk cafe going over
his last will.
Thank you. You are outside.
You got like outside coffee
or whatever. And you are, like,
the wind is blowing. You're trying to fill.
out this fucking will come on it's just like the most like it like it's like it's like the most
busiest thing i've ever seen in my life he gets this little tiny french press of coffee
yes he's had this nice little sidewalk cafe going his last uh uh will and testament and there is
fucking henry kessler about to order a delicious looking blueberry scone oh you wanted a blueberry
scone and he uh and john's like hey henry he he looks healthy he
And he's like, hey, Henry, hey, it's John Kramer, remember me?
We're both the fighters and we didn't die.
Remember that?
And he gets down and he tells him, I'm cured.
Yeah, I have a war.
When he shows him this big scar on his chest that he calls his war wound.
Looks like Fred Kruger got to this guy with this thing.
How do you, okay, like the thing, you know, the twist later is that Henry's in on this kind of fake medical scam.
Yeah.
How do you make a fake scar?
good enough to impress jigsaw right out of the top.
That's, well, I think, you know what?
That's an excellent point, Eric.
And I think the only answer is somehow this dude
indeed hired Tom Savini to make this scar make a floor.
Oh, Tom Savini's in it.
You've made blood come out of fake heads your whole life.
How about it's coming out of your head now?
I created an actual pumpkin head.
Oh, Tom Savini, you thought it was a good idea.
to make the zombies in Dawn of the Dead Blue for some reason.
Well, now I'm going to choke you till you're blue.
My theory on this is that because we do hear when the big twist happens about 30 minutes in,
we do hear John Kramer making a phone call to detective.
And I assume that it's Costa Mandelor.
And that I think Costas Mandelor probably kills Henry Kessler and that's the opening of the sequel.
Sure.
because like he's shown it the stingers helping helping jigsaw set up the trap because the the what doesn't make sense to me is like it doesn't make sense you're what you said about the scar also struck me I'm like John Kramer knows all like he's an idiot but he also knows what's going on a lot of the time true but I think another thing that this movie kind of tries to do I guess is like show you that he is kind of like this fallible dude and in that moment I think it's like oh fuck this guy should be dead and now
he's walking around getting a scone hold on i i want to be enjoying a scone i haven't enjoyed a scone
since 1998 so i'm not enjoying a scone i'm sitting here enjoying signing my will so this henry
castler character goes to cancer groups puts on a cry show and then like i guess keeps tabs on
everyone and just bumps into them later and be like oh you know yeah i i i dude yeah these
are some sick tickets man yeah he's got he's like a plant he's like literally a good
industry plant to like bring people to this
Peterson, the Peterson
Project.net. Yeah.
So, okay. Here's a good
fucking rule of thumb out there.
All right. If someone is telling you
they have like this magic
cancer cure, which by the
way I went to Mexico for
or no, he says he went to Sweden, I think.
Norway, yeah. Norway, you're right. Yeah, yeah. Because the actress
playing Cecilia is Norwegian. He's like,
oh, I went to Norway, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Here's the information. I'll write it on this
And the URL for this website is a dot net. Get right out of there. Not great. Get right out of there.
I'm going to email my cancer doctor at geocities.com. My hot mail doctor. I mean, the other thing he says, he's like, now you can't get it here because it isn't FDA approved. The FDA would approve fried shrimp to treat AIDS. Like they don't, they don't really like say no too much.
They really do let quite a lot through.
It's just a line of just like, American bureaucracy.
That makes sense.
Yeah, fuck America.
Yes.
And I'm forced, like, this is such an opportunity to, like, really press that, like,
he was forced into this because the health, uh, health care in America isn't good
and forced him into it.
Like, there is an argument to be made where this makes more sense, but it's not that.
It's just that he's an idiot and fell for like the last, uh, possible thing, this total scam.
to get him more life.
Because that's what happens, dude.
That's what happens to old people and the internet.
All right?
Like, I said it in my little intro line.
Like, old people are the most easily scammed by the internet.
And if this takes place in 2001, like, this is even before they were getting scammed on social media.
Like, this dude's just getting scammed.
It's so funny.
I think that should be the through line of the next movie and maybe this new trilogy that they're cultivating here is him getting
scammed each time, you know?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, dude, if he keeps falling for scams.
Amanda, did you know that Obama's a secret Muslim?
And there's going to be death battles.
I talked to a prince in Haiti, and he's going to give me safe passage to his kingdom.
Oh, yeah, I got a phone call.
This poor guy was trapped while traveling and just needed some money sent to him.
So, you know, I wanted to help him out.
trying to pay him forward. Now my bank account's been frozen. You're here because you had an
illegitimate GoFundB. You weren't sick. I'm sick. You weren't sick. I want my $50 back
and pints of your blood. That's I that one sounds the most saw like is that a go fund me would
be. He would really he would be pissed off about. Oh yeah. Those are out there. Oh yeah. He'd be
very pissed off about that. But like, so he goes, he goes home and he's watching YouTube videos of
Dr. Finn Peterson who has been forced into hiding because of his cancer treatment. Yes. Yeah. I'm kind of
thinking that this dude like isn't real or like maybe died several years ago. Maybe. The whole
operation is being run by his daughter, Cecilia Peterson. Right. Uh, who calls him here. And this is
a Sinov Mackie Lund, who's a Norwegian actress. She's been in.
uh she was in oh you know what she was in is that a girl in the spider's web the claire foy dragon tattoo movie yeah uh and then a bunch of other european stuff that hasn't really crossed over here but she's like yeah so we can definitely do this with my dad's cure uh just to let you know our new facility just outside of mexico city it's a little off the grid right there again big no thanks john graeman the medical facility is off the grid because this dude is being hunted by a
They are cancer renegades is what's happening here.
Yes.
Their cancer freedom fighters because there's some line about like, well, big pharma or maybe
it's just on the screen like big pharma will like shut it like they're trying to shut
them down because it would cure like all these diseases and then they wouldn't be able
to sell medication.
Yes.
Which, oh, so like big farm is definitely a better choice than this.
That's good.
That's a good intimation right there.
This is kind of like those lines that they throw out.
out here are that sort of cancer
conspiracy stuff of like
well how is it that they haven't found a cure
for cancer by now they're just
hiding it so they can make you know what I mean
like all that shit which like honestly if it turned
out to be true it wouldn't be surprised exactly
I'm not going around reading about that shit
on the internet or watching YouTube videos
better as a Chris Rock joke than
it is as a fucking
state of mind about the fucking state
of health care a Chris Rock joke is
what spiral
is that what it's called? Yeah but yes that is another one
them. So whatever, this dying dude goes to Mexico here. And yes, this is the guy giving
him the tour of everything around Mexico City. He does make mention of like, hey, and then
here's this Aztec shrine where they always, tourists always ask me to take them. And this is
where they cut out hearts and threw them down the stairs. And blah, blah, yes. Wouldn't like,
okay, you're John Kramer, you are nearly at the end. Even if you are going
to find maybe your last chance to get out of this death sentence.
Even on the plane, guess what I'm doing?
I'm getting in a wheelchair and I'm going to save my energy because this,
the one thing I know about cancer treatments is you get zapped of energy constantly.
That's true.
It's just, and like, but no, John Kramer has to be that asshole.
I was like, no, I'm going to walk.
Don't you fucking touch me.
Yeah, I don't need your help.
Fuck you.
Fuck on you.
Like, and he gets in the, yes, as you said, the cab and he goes around all these places.
you know, cancer is so expensive
you want to share?
I mean, yeah, kind of
pretty much, honestly.
It's like, you know,
book your own transport in advance,
John Kramer. And so the driving along,
it goes really from like,
we're in Mexico City to like we cut
and all of a sudden this dude is just driving on grass.
And again, I would be like,
like if I'm John Kramer, it's like,
now we're just literally not driving on a road
anymore. This is trouble.
Well, that's Mexico.
Oh yeah. Anytime I'm being put in a place where I'm like, this also looks like a Lucci Fulci film.
You know, probably not great. I wish. I don't want that.
So, yeah, this van comes out of nowhere, straight up kidnapped van. We got fucking machine guns drawn on this taxi cab.
This is a little much. It's like, it's like Big Pharma is going to come down here with a paramilitary to stop us from curing cancer.
And we need the big guns to stop them from stopping us.
Well, imagine this.
You're like, this happens to you.
You're John Kramer and you're living through this thing.
And you're like, and they're like, actually putting a gun in your face with black masks on and like looking like you're getting kidnapped for your life.
Actually, this was just a check.
This was a security check to make sure that you are really John Kramer.
Wouldn't you just immediately be like, you know what?
No, thanks.
I'm just going to die of cancer.
That's good by me.
I don't want to, whatever the next phase of this is, I don't need to be.
Because we're like invoking like a cartel kidnapping here or something.
Which honestly, I don't know.
I would watch that saw movie as well.
I have to get to the doctor.
No, you're kidnapping me.
I have nothing to do with drug running.
I have to get to the doctor.
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
Sit out, American.
Well, yeah.
Oh, man.
Well, yeah.
It doesn't involve the cartel because S.
Craig Zoller did not get to direct.
Oh, my God.
Imagine him doing a saw movie quiz.
it to him tomorrow. I know
I know he has this new movie is coming out this year
and I'm very excited like everybody else. And he
did, I will say, he did
put this on his top 10 movies of 2020.
Did he? Wait, where are you getting this information?
Well, this is on his personal
email correspondence with S. Craig Zoller.
The S Craigzoller Project.net.
He's on letterbox
or people say he's on letterbox.
Oh, I just saw you follow that where the
account is literally not S. Craig
Zoller. Well, like the same thing. Like they do
that like not Dave Kerr is Dave Kerr.
Right. Like not Bill Murray
is Bill Murray on Twitter. Yeah, yeah. I'm kidding.
I do like here where they're like, you know, who the fuck are you?
blah, blah, blah. He's like, I am John Kramer. It's pretty
like you want him, because there is a break between I am and then John
Kramer. I so want him to be like, I am jigsaw.
Like just once. Just once say it into the camera for me, Big Daddy.
Come on. He's already jigsawed already. You know, he's already laid on a warehouse floor.
for their entire movie. And like this guy's so paranoid. And like these two guys are like, oh,
actually, you're fine. We're just going to the nice cancer treatment house, a mansion that we're
going to bring you to. Don't worry about it, Mr. Kramer. That was just a security check.
Here is your nice white lady to bring you through the rest of this cancer world. I also meet our
lovely Gabriela who just got a brand new hit a smack and she's looking great. Yep, absolutely. This is
who meets them at the door is Gabriela
played by Renata Vaca
and she's she is also
like hyping up the story she's like
oh welcome oh these pictures
on the wall that my family
lived here I grew up here
Dr. Peterson saved my
life and he's just like
oh well if this innocent
young girl is saying that Dr. Peterson
helped out this all must be
on the up and up first dot net
website now this oh yeah
would you say that I am now part of
The Cancer Rebellion, because that's what I feel like.
I feel like I'm part of a really rag-tag group of people who are going to beat cancer for good.
I feel part of a group now.
I love it.
We're going to start getting malignant against the system.
Yeah.
Darnard, d'ert-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-saw.
Boy, and I'm Parker Sears.
I used to have a tumor big as my knob, which was quite large.
He does meet this Dr. Peterson right here.
This is where she's like, oh, yeah, sorry about that greeting.
We had to step up security because Big Pharma is always on our ass, she says.
Yes, of course.
And okay, so here we go.
Red Flag number 76.
She takes him on a tour of this facility and she's like, oh, yeah, here's where the surgery will be happening.
Don't worry about it.
This used to be an old chemical factory.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'd be like, I don't know, man.
Are you planning to turn me into the Joker?
What are you doing?
Right, that doesn't sound very sterile.
No.
Yeah, exactly.
No, and like they do.
They make it like a clean room.
It looks like something from a Fincher film.
Yes, yes.
And they go in, and he gets to see, he gets to see Parker Sears.
Yes.
Who's getting prepped.
And he does say that he had a tumor the size of his dick, or the head of his dick, I suppose.
He had a penis-shaped tumor in his throat.
Which, I mean, I would hear that.
And I'm like, yeah, actually, can I give you more money?
Also, to do to this.
This sounds so legit.
A dick-sized tumor.
got removed from his his neck you say that's yeah oh oh i can't wait to give you more money also
this name parker sears what what is you're looking around the room though there's a game by
parker brothers oh there's a photo of chicago that's the sears tower yeah yeah it's awful
it is such a bad name and you can tell it's a bad name because like it sticks out like a sore
thumb and everybody's saying it and you're like god damn that terrible name oh my it's because
we kept making fun of Jeff. Now they're giving
us Parker Sears.
And here's, uh, here's my brother,
Barnum Macy's.
Oh, here we go.
MacDonald Gimbles. Yes.
Uh,
the,
the, the, the, the procedure worked for
McDonald Gimbles. It's going to work for me.
I'm a fighter.
He had a war wound. I saw it.
Shape like a dick. That war wound.
Um, so yeah, he meets like this
whole team. There's Mateo, who's like
an anesthesiologist. This is Octavia
Yinojosa, Parker
Sears, yeah, Stephen Brand.
And so Cecilia's like, all right, hey, so
you know, what do you do for a living?
And this is, because he
has already started jigsawing around,
he's like, basically
like, yeah, I'm a life coach of sorts.
I help people through personal
obstacles. Yes. Are you
into class of cars? Not really.
I'm more into taking.
Hens Off of Bodies
you get the
congratulations tequila that he can't have
yet. Gabriela is
giving him it's special. We're going to
see it again later. It is not product
placement. No, it is.
Is this tequila
also owned by Mark Wahlberg
or is this one that Tobin Bell set up for himself?
Whatever it is, it's a goof because it didn't exist
in 2001, apparently. Oh, really? Oh, well.
Let me try to find that goof for all these.
fine folks. Here's my time
traveling tequila. It hasn't been invented
yet. That's how good it is.
But it's the Calvin timeline, man.
It is.
Oh, there's a bit of bullshit right
here, like the night before the surgery.
He's like, boy, I sure I'm having trouble sleeping.
What's that noise? And he goes
out, and this is where we meet
Little Carlos, who's going to
play a huge role at the end of this movie.
And he, like, helps him fix
his bike. And this whole scene exists
so that John Kramer
can learn the word for like
to pull in Spanish.
Yes. That's all that exists
this scene exists for because
at the end of the movie he needs to
utilize that information. Well it establishes
Carlos, who I guarantee you, is coming back
in the next movie as a helper
or maybe even we'll do a movie
20 years in the future
you know, or what?
Yeah. Jigsaw Jr.
Exactly. It's like Carlos, your time is
come i'm dead you're you're setting up a lot of things to branch out to whatever the next phase of
this piece of shit's gonna be and like michael panya in two movies being carlos the new jigsaw
makes a lot of sense to me that i'd watch that like that's fine uh but yeah this is my
any time you're trying to make john kramer sweet yes i'm out i'm all i'm so out and i'm not
really in on any of the other stuff to be fair but like this is where I'm just like what
what is even the point of this other than to be like you know what he's not he's not such a bad
guy he's not a bad guy he he has he bonds with Carlos and Gabriela so he's a good guy Chris
yes he's a really nice guy who just loves ripping people's heads off by the way tequila update
the tequila is codigo 1530 which was co-founded by country music
singer George Strait. Of course.
Whoa. Everything is a celebrity piece of shit.
Yes.
You see, oh, man, maybe he's going to be in Saul Evin. Maybe get George
Straight in Saul Evan. Oh, sure. Yeah. I don't know.
Hey, man. Yeah, you want to play a game, man.
Hey, yeah. I also got cancer, man.
Can I join the Cancer Avengers with you, John Pramer?
A couple 70-year-old kicking butt killing people for no reason.
I'm going to be tumor. What do you want to be?
yeah you know whatever he's helping his kid fix the bike and he's like pull what how do you say pull
and he goes halar all right halar halar and it's important right here to note also that uh he's he asks him
something about uh english and the kid says no and he's like well that's about about the extent
of my spanish knowledge only later for him to say
something in Spanish and I was
like, wait a second. You told
that little kid you didn't speak Spanish.
Well, he has to play everybody, Andrew.
He can't like to keep up the
artifice to really
sell the thing. He has to lie to
everybody. So even this child cannot be
told the truth. Because it's, I think it's
the, when he got, when
the revenge is starting and he goes
back to get the cab driver and
the dude in Spanish says where
you know, where are we going or whatever? And
John Kramer in Spanish response.
with two hell. Yes.
So was it, I guess that was him or, yeah, it was him, right?
Because he takes off his mask there. Or was that
Shawnee Smith? She starts kidnapping people at some point.
You don't see John Kramer in that scene. But I think
that first one is supposed to be him and she's
getting the rest of him. That's more likely, I would probably agree with you
because he is the one when we cut to see what they're happening to
Diego and the arm bombs.
that that is John Kramer is all over it
he's the only person there right so
he goes in for this fake
surgery that he doesn't know is fake quite yet
and they're like oh yeah you're gonna have a
a waking craniotomy
and that means we're gonna cut your fucking head
open while you're in and out of consciousness
which sounds terrifying
it does and like this is so low
like when we find out like so he gets
he goes through it there's one point where he
wakes up and he sees on the screen something, it looks like what you would think the inside
of a brain would look like. Right. The surgery happening. But it's not. It's not. It turns out
it is not. He goes through the surgery. It's a DVD for surgeons of tomorrow, which if anybody
has this, please give it to me. Seriously. Seriously. What's this? What's this box set look
like? What do the fucking interactive menus look like? DM me or DM the show. Do whatever. Just give
me this thing. I hope it has surgeons commentary tracks. Oh, man.
Please.
He's fucking up there.
He also fucked up there.
You know, something they never got right in scrubs is the way that we all like love each other.
So, yeah, he goes through it.
He's actually, he, they give him some gas so that he knocks out for good.
Nobody but the nurse Valentina is that it?
I think that's right.
Yes.
is going to see him other than
Dr. Peterson who she, Cecilia Peterson,
sees him when he wakes up, gives him all the,
you know, don't take off your bandages, take some rest.
Right, because they're anti-bacterial.
Now, you can make this con so much more convincing.
Yeah.
Shave his head and then like just cut the scalp and, you know,
stitch it back.
This is so low rent.
Like I would be so much more into the idea that this is actually like a scam
being backed by like really like wealthy people but like clearly they are hiring from the bottom
of the barrel like they're hide when he comes back to find out this is all a fucking sham they left
the DVD case out they fucking it's a real bad cleanup job you're absolutely right didn't even
buzz his hair like you had the buzzer yes you're totally right there is a shot of the buzzer
and like one of these fake medical technicians turning it on it's like
like at least do that
it's a problem that everyone here is
is faking being a medical person
why not get like a doctor Nick Riviera
someone who like flungly out
yep you can find those fuckers absolutely
the gravitas of a sawtrap on that guy
and Kramer going like
you took a you took an oath
when you went to medical school
and you betrayed it you know
beautiful yes yes
you vowed to do no harm
and now I vowed to leave you with no
arms. How about that? Give him
the eye suck machine.
Oh, yeah, put it out his dick though. Yeah,
oh, fine. That will be. People have been trying to invent that for
years. They have. And they have. The
Japanese have really made some strides.
But, so. I'm going to Japan
to get my dick sucked.
We're close to that, Eric.
So he's,
he wakes up. He, you know, he's
not, you know, he's not. You know what? He's not
dreaming. He made a sawtrap
sketch. And he's like,
no, that's wrong.
So he rips it out of his notebook.
This is, this is, it's
so funny to me because it's like,
it's looking like a real good
fucking head destroyer trap or whatever.
And then he's like, you know what?
No, I'm leaving that
life behind. And as he crinkles it up, they cut
to this like medium shot of him on this bench.
Yeah, I just got a little, uh, froyo
here. He's got some froyo
sitting in the park on an afternoon.
designed my sawtraps in my sketchbook.
I'm not a total psycho.
I can't wait to live another 15 years.
It's going to be so great.
And like, he's like sketching hills and all this shit
and like enjoying life, quote unquote, drinking Americanos.
How could he retire?
He's got more little murder machines to devise.
Well, no, because he's going to turn into a sketch.
It seems like he's just going to sketch like hills and mountains for the rest of his life.
If he were to live.
You know, what's what's, what's, what's,
weird about this. And I guess it's just showing
you like once a civil
engineer, always a civil engineer or whatever,
but he's like, not only is he sketching
the mountains, he's like sketching stuff that
he can see. So like, here's, here's this radio
tower that's on top of the mountain and whatever.
And he's doing what looks like some sort of
like navigational
like calculations or something. And I guess
he's just drawing stuff and obsessed with making
it to scale or something. But I thought he was
trying to determine like where
he was because
when he wakes up there's this whole thing about like oh we're not at the facility anymore we're at a hospital that's two blocks away from dr. Mateo's hospital so in case anything if you needed a blood transfusion she says you'd be you know closer to getting that or whatever and I thought it was like where the fuck are they keeping me all right this looks like the radio towers here that would be but I guess it's just like he's drawing to scale I don't know that honestly Eric is right that is very interesting but they
if that is true, the filmmakers do almost nothing to draw attention to that.
He could have tracked down the place he was at from his drawings or whatever versus kidnapping the cab driver.
Exactly.
Which is what, I mean, after he finds, he goes, he buys a part, he time travels, gets this bottle of tequila, comes back and he brings it over to where he got his surgery.
he is not met with by a gang of militants
who are going to bring him to his cancer thing.
He gets right to the door.
Yes.
With a nice bottle with Gabriel a greeting card.
And nobody's fucking there.
By the way,
it's fucking gone.
It's so funny when he goes to the liquor story.
He's like,
you have a card to go with it.
And it's just,
you have cards in Mexico?
I don't know.
But the card to go,
it's just a piece of paper that says Gabriella.
And it's just like,
what did you expect from a liquor story anyway?
Well, that's the thing.
I don't think it's so much, do you have cards in Mexico?
It's, do you have cards at this liquor store?
Which I've been in that situation, man.
You got to ask the person at the liquor store if there's like a gift bag you can also buy.
It is kind of sad.
You might as well be like throwing a pack of condoms in some lotto tickets.
That's the level that I'm at right now asking for a bag like that and a gift store.
Gabriella, I got you scratch-offs.
Scratchers.
Well, I guess I do have to give them credit on that.
It is not a place like that.
It looks like a very fancy liquor store he goes to.
Well, that's, it does look pretty nice.
It's a pretty nice little place.
And apparently, Chris, on the door, it has some stickers for apps that don't exist in 2001.
Oh, that's interesting.
You can get, you can get Grubhub in 2002.
In the Calvin timeline.
Yes.
The Calvin Timeline.
So he, yeah, he goes to, it's a ghost town at the old.
The fucking front door is wide open.
Like, here's the thing about that DVD being left on.
Like, the monitor, I don't.
they at once didn't clean up but also made more of a mess
because like there's a there's a like a a head to toe like floor mirror thing
that's just broken the monitor that's playing the DVD is turned over
but the DVD menu like is still on I don't know why they decided to fuck up their own hideout
it's really weird I'm a little shocked we didn't get a
John Kramer walking into this fucking ex
this former clinic
and just getting a night of the living dead
like a horde of homeless people as zombies
Oh yes
Clearly that's how he sees them
I mean like we've heard what he thinks of the poor people
who used to use his clinic
But that is not what happens
He sees all this he makes the realization
Almost immediately pulls off his bandages
And they have done jack shit to his head
they haven't even like imagine this
imagine he pulls that off and he just has
a shaved head and like scars in it you might
he might have bought that yeah exactly
dude exactly this is why we
got to do it right when we're older and we
start running scams
yeah when we start doing saw traps and like that never
work uh we should uh definitely
think this through now does he he does
I guess the idea is like this is a
this is a touring scam they'll go
somewhere else which also
Norway is next baby why not just pack up all
your stuff and we use that
precious DVD.
But no, I guess John Kramer
now just uses this warehouse
as his murder laboratory, is that right?
Right, well, because when he turns the lights on,
like the first, we should say,
the first time he sees this lab
where the procedure happens
or doesn't happen as it is,
it's all like,
you know,
what am I trying to say?
Like fluorescent lighting, it's very
sterile, white, sort of clean lighting
kind of a thing.
When he comes back to it, he turns the lights
on, and it looks immediately like a saw warehouse.
Like, it's yellow and green lighting, everything's shitty.
And he's like, oh, now this place kind of feels like home, all right, I'll set up shop here.
There's a certain familiar aesthetic here.
There should have been a scene like the killer where it's like, oh, who's coming to the door?
And they're just dropping off menus in the mail.
Oh, yes.
They got it.
I don't have to saw that guy.
Now, echoing through the clinic is, punctured bicycle.
the hillside.
Fuck yeah, dude, trade up.
She hopes to make a man out of me.
That would be great.
Who's playing that
delightful music?
But you're right, Eric, because
while this movie is borderline two hours, which is a
problem. It's too long. Yeah.
I just, I want just
the littlest bit of him making himself
at home in this warehouse, which would include
a similar situation of
someone stopping by dropping off menus or whatever it is, you know.
Or maybe we see a little Carlos kicking the football around earlier in the film as well.
So it establishes that Carlos still like plays around there or something like that.
Yeah, that would be nice.
But yeah, so now it's like, okay, he sort of deduces how the fuck do I track all these people down.
Oh, I'll go back to Diego.
That's the dude who, you know, I know maybe the whereabouts of where I can find him if he's still
driving the cab around and we can go from there
and this is like the he drops off some tourists
and then it's like someone else gets in the car
you don't see who it is where are we going to hell he says
in Spanish and then Diego wakes up
and fucking finally we got a saw trap here
a real one not just a fake phony dream sequence
also the whole thing with this Diego guy it's like so he was
at the airport waiting just for John Kramer
like there's so many very and then of course he is also
Dr. Cortez
it's like you presumably make a lot of money like they bill come out of like uh what is it
over 200 000 yeah yes and you're doing this multiple times and and now you're just being a
cab driver again well that's i i guess well they haven't gotten paid yet that's one of the
right yes it's coming apocracies is apocer's all the money but that even that is so fucking
great like of course someone with like any kind perception is going to be like oh that looks
something my taxi driver was about to cut him to my
fucking head. Like, why is that happening?
Am I just racist? Because I guess he's got
like the face mask on and it's like,
well, they're American. They're not going to know.
But like literally, if you had not
done that, maybe he doesn't put this together.
Maybe he doesn't get Diego in that.
You can't, that's the thing.
You know, this isn't like some
rinky dink local community
theater company. You don't need people
playing more than one role. All right.
Like, get another person
to play the role of Dr. Cortez.
because your actor already has the role
of the cab driver. Parker Sears
and Cecilia are an item.
So, like, we know that this shit is, they're
sharing fucking funds. So I think
fucking Diego getting an extra five grand
is not out of control. Yes, there's a
totally right. There's a twist that Parker Sears,
if you could believe it, is actually
a bad guy. He did not
have a tumor like a penis.
He did not have that.
John Kramer's like, you know what? In retrospect,
that did sound fake.
You know, in life, you said that you had a tumor,
the shape of a penis, but what if we put
Diego's penis in your throat now?
Oh, no. Oh, no!
Ah, no! Ah!
I would watch that porno parody.
Oh, fuck yeah. I saw XXX.
That's right. I'm sure
some twisted fuck
has made that. You think so? Let's try to look
it up. There you go. And while you
do that, ruin your searches.
Oh, an open private window.
Yeah, oh, smart moves. Smart moves.
Don't want any of them internet detectives
after you.
his mandelor.
It's going to put me in a fucking
dick-sucking machine if I Google too much.
So
Diego has been taken.
He wakes up. He has
two
a pipe bombs
on his arm.
They are attached through these
wires that we are told
cannot be cut.
He's bounded up
by rope as well.
And we see John Kramer
is in a separate room
through glass. He sees him.
Very important, Chris,
to note that this guy is kind of
set up
like you're playing Edward 40 hands, but instead of two delicious 40-ounce bottles of beer,
you've got little blades attached there, medical tools.
Some frat, there has to be some genius frat guy out there who has made some, like,
because you have to get tired of like the drinking, like Olympics and just like, you know,
picking fucking pickles up with your ass and doing a shot and then being done.
So some frat guy out there has to think of.
like make a saw themed like frat drinking party where you have to do each one of these in the drinking like Edward 40 hands and if you don't if you don't drink both 40 if you don't if you're the last person to finish your 40s your arms get cut off oh there you go there you go I thought these were going to be practical drinking games until you were talking about actually cutting off someone's arms look I have to I have to call down the frat bros a little bit here this is the best way to do it get them drunk and then get them mostly not alive the frat bros might also like
like this bit, this little nugget here saw a hardcore parody from 2010.
So that is how old the saw porno is.
The saw porno is so old that Ron Jeremy is the chief of police in it.
Oh, Jesus.
The hedgehog striking out this movie.
I don't think so.
The criminal himself.
Yes, six years after the original.
Written directed by Dick Chubbles.
Oh.
Chibbles.
Oh, it's a Chibbles.
Sorry.
Chibbles.
Oh, it's a chibbles joint.
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
He's chibbles here.
He's quite the aesthetic.
Yeah, the director of losers never get laid.
And Superman of a hard quirk.
Anyway, I'll stop talking about it.
So one of the things about John Kramer being present for all of this stuff that I do think is amusing is now in this screenplay, so many people are just yelling,
Kramer!
They are.
Just constantly yelling the name Kramer.
It's very funny.
So he uses these
the scalples and he cuts through his
ropes. And oops-a-doodle
that triggered something.
That triggers the pipe bombs. There's numbers
on his pipe bombs and they start going.
Yes. And he's just
yelling at Kramer until he notices they drop
down the little tape
recorder. And he plays
his message and of course, you know,
you have to cut around
the pipe bombs,
the skin, and rip them off
to get them off. Or, you
you are going to blow up.
It's fucking brutal, man.
It is really brutal.
I'm surprised.
He does it and he lives.
And then you get John Kramer
walking in with this little medical case.
You're going to be okay.
Yeah.
Sing the fucking song.
Now, what I want you to do with those arms
that definitely work the same is bandage,
bandaged correctly.
Because if you fuck it up,
then you could get a defection.
And I don't, that's not on me.
That's on you.
He's still doing Edward's scalpel hands.
You're totally right.
How's he supposed to bandage anything?
John Kramer. You left him to die
John Kramer. There was a
flashback later on when we're revealing
like, oh, I knew everything
all along. Like, I think this guy gives
up Parker Sears at some point.
He does. He does. Yeah. Okay.
They're boning. He says he tells them like
they're fucking. Yeah. Oh, yes, that's right.
Yeah. But this is where
he, this is you see really
quickly, Kramer's on the phone
and he's like, oh, hey, detective.
I'm going to need help
tracking down these names.
people who need our services.
Now, could you make it so that
Valentina the nurse almost gets raped
like right before I come out
because that would really help my...
Dude, that's another fucking only
in Mexico. It absolutely
is if it's fucking terrible. Just have this
girl blowing rails
in a club. Why does the threat
of rape have to also be in the volume?
I'll tell you exactly because this is
another one where they're like, well, he's not
such a bad guy. Because he kills
the rapist. When the rapist tries
to get at Valentina
he like, I don't know if he shoots
him in the head. This is Shawnee Smith
dude. And she like takes
him out. He's like, I don't know if he's dead
dead, but he's definitely fucked up. Yeah, I don't think
it's a kill. I think he gets hit in the
head with something because there's like
a window in the car that gets busted
out. Yes.
So I think she just like fucks him up or
something maybe. But yeah, so
she is about to be assaulted in
this car and
her pig mess comes in here.
nabs her. Her savior pig man comes in. It's too much.
It's fucking takes her to fucking go into the
the, uh, those, like, what is, it's a warehouse, I guess. I don't know. Yeah. It's,
it's, it's the warehouse, uh, I believe where the procedure took place. I believe so. Yeah.
Oh, like, yeah, because they take out the clean room. Oh, we're going to have to swing by the butcher shop,
get some pig heads. You know, uh, there's no way I'm driving all the way down here with pig masks. They're going to be rotting in the
are now Diego before we start where's the best place to get some robes around here
i need a robe guy and i need a couple of them in different sizes i got some friends who are
coming that's the thing is like the robes the pig masks this is sex cult stuff it is uh so yeah he
he gets valentina uh shawney smith gets uh valentina out of this car she gets kidnapped uh is a gabry
no matthew we go to matteo at this veteran
clinic. Yes.
And it's, this is, see,
I guess this Mateo, it's close
to a Dr. Nick Riviera, but he's just a
veterinarian who's also
slinging drugs, which I believe
is that not
a character in, oh shit.
Is it, is it
better call Saul where
there's a crooked veterinarian
character, I think?
Are you thinking of Beethoven?
No, I'm not thinking of Beethoven.
I have, I've sadly
not gone past the first season
of Better Call Saul, I want to
I just haven't done it. I think
there's a similar, it's a crooked
veterinarian and the dude's
kind of like trying to get
out of the whole thing. I think it's better
call Saul where that character exists. I would like
to believe that this is Jeremy Piven's
character and he is. Oh,
very similar. Yeah.
But have your veterinarian be the
doctor guy and you can still administer
drugs and cut an incision
and sew it up. Come on.
But you're right
You're right
But like also the more important thing Eric
Is that he's a piece of shit
Because like he's helping out at the at this
At the clinic
And like the two ladies
His two colleagues even they're like
Shitheads
Yes what is that about why is it just fucking
Talking shit about those women
Because you're supposed to think like he deserves
Every fucking thing he gets like
That is them like juice in it
They do
They fucking con a man with cancer
Yeah exactly
like he but they're like they want to keep juicing you because you're going to watch these people scream for their lives for at least two minutes that's fair so you have to kind of really build up this the fucking idea that yes they absolutely deserve it he hates his fucking uh colleagues he fucking steals drugs from dogs
he's hey what happened to my stash poor beethoven and droopy are never going to get high again see this is what he should have jigsaw should have captured those dogs and then been like you've been uh steal
stealing from dogs and now dogs will steal from you and they get to bite them.
Ooh, yeah.
Poor hungry dogs on leashed on.
Poor barbecue sauce all over them and let them have it.
Oh, no, I need that medication to regulate my blood sugar.
I guess it's not enough like a rusted metal with dogs.
I think every device needs rusted metal.
Yeah, that's the problem right there.
I mean, you could just make a dog like machine that rip the person apart, I guess.
Carlos, throw this metal in the lake.
I'm going to need it later.
Go rust up this metal for me, Carlos.
Don't worry. It'll come in handy.
Gabriella pops in and is like, oh, you know, I need a fix.
And this dude is like, all right, here's some drugs.
I definitely just have in my pocket ready for you.
But I, this is a weird one though, right?
Because you're saying they're trying to juice it up like he's a scumbag.
But then this dude's also like, you got to go someplace else for your drugs from now on.
Because I'm done with this or whatever.
And she's like, okay.
the dogs are all barking in the back of the clinic or whatever.
And then this is a weird, we're not explaining what's going on here,
but all the dogs start barking or stop barking, excuse me.
And then it's like, okay, like that's how Mateo knows like something's up.
But like, is Shawnee Smith killing those dogs?
No, she probably threw another pig masks at them.
They had a nice dinner.
These weeners will give me the energy idea.
But they do, like they yelp, like you hear a yelp.
so you imagine they're scared to silence by this?
I don't know.
I don't really get it either.
I was a little curious about that,
but it does,
I mean,
Shawnee Smith gets him,
tasers him.
Is this that he gets tased in the face,
right?
She shoots the taser in his face.
Later,
she gets it in the face.
This is a fraud.
This is,
oh yes,
you're right.
Classic pig mask device,
the prod,
by the way.
You does love it.
And then we go directly from there to
Gabriela who is going to a like this underground club that is highly populated and she goes into
the bathroom and she's you can tell that she's an innocent because she's a little shameful about
taking the drugs out and open right which is wild because it's just pills yes it's just pills
nobody would give a shit absolutely but that's it's to suggest that maybe this character isn't
all bad which is what Shawnee Smith will be saying for the rest of this fucking movie I mean to be
fair this character winds up getting a pretty raw
deal when all the sudden. Pretty
bad.
So she goes into the toilet and
is taking her drugs. Into the toilet?
Or the stall? Well, no,
she does a train spot.
She's swimming down there. That should
be a fucking saw trap.
Yeah, I put you down the toilet.
Will you drown
or not? Today you find out.
So she
takes her drugs. She sees a robe
like coming up to the fucking
stall and she's like oh shit oh here we go whatever this is it's not good it's you know what it kind
is which sucks is because you see the pair of like black boots you're kind of ripping off scream
right there absolutely it's black boots and a toilet stall door that's scream totally good yeah
i would totally agree with that and of course uh she comes out very slowly uh pig face uh punches
her and she gets knocked out uh again gets the harry potter invisibility cloak and takes her ass out
very easily, it seems. Very embarrassing detail, though, here, Chris, because she's in the
toilet and she's scared and she's like, ooh, let's think of some self-defense. And she pulls out
a bottle of mace. And then Shawnee Smith takes the bottle after attacking her and maces this woman
with her own mace. Yeah. Really brutal stuff. Yep. Much like Hannibal Lecter did to that
prison guard. That's right. And then so here we go. The big get Cecilia herself in her big
mansion location question mark and she's like you see this big wall of marks and she's got all
these additional scam she's on the phone conning a woman this is now now I'm like oh shit maybe
it's not a traveling band maybe they just always do it in Mexico to rip people off so then why
would you leave your DVDs out that would make no sense if she's got a house here or is she renting
it question it looks like a question marks it looks like a I don't know if you can
fucking rent a place like that place is fucking nice it's it's a pretty like it's a house that's so cool
and eerie looking at night you could do a nice home invasion movie yeah yes yeah uh which would it would
have been cool actually if he set up shop in this woman's house not actually not enough home invasion
movies lately get to work everyone that that hush one sucked so i'm not really oh i didn't see that
what was that chris that's the what's his name mike uh mike flanagan's got one uh that's got to be
at least 10 years old.
Oh, is it?
I've noticed this time.
2016.
Okay.
All right.
Close.
That was the last one I remember and I did not like it.
Didn't we do like a new strangers movie or something at one?
We did, but that's the whole thing with the new strangers movie is it's outside.
Most of it is like, there's like kills outside mostly.
So it's not a home invasion.
It's like a backyard invasion.
I think like maybe it starts with a home invasion.
Get out of my yard.
Get out of here.
There's like a pool.
kill in that movie. Should I look up
Home Invasion movies? Maybe there's a home invasion
porn parody. There definitely
is, Eric, so don't you worry.
There's quite a few of those
I would wager. So,
yeah, she's like on the phone with this lady and she's like,
oh, no need to cry, Margaret.
Oh, we're going to take such good care
of you. I'm not an angel. Stop
saying I'm an angel.
I'm not an angel. Well, this
woman is like double fisting
fat stacks of cash right here
and putting them into a bag and it's like
it's labeled like, oh, you know, this is for Mateo, this is Gabriella, yada, yada, yada.
So you see her and like how the back end of this scam is working.
And then basically it's like, uh-oh, she hears a noise or whatever.
And she's starting to look at this big grid of security cameras.
Like I say, I like this shot of, you know, she's looking around the house, all these different camera angles.
And then it's this big wide shot of the house.
Basically, the establishing shot they use for the start of this scene is used as security footage.
and you see her.
It almost looks like a Wes Anderson movie
in the way that he sometimes
dollhouse compartmentalizes sets like,
you know, he does in Life Aquatic.
He should do a home invasion movie.
Oh, there you go.
That's kind of what Royal Tenant Bowms is.
That's actually, yeah, kind of, yeah.
But I like this, it's like,
because she can see herself in one room
so she's looking around,
and then, uh-oh, there's someone on the roof,
which is pretty cool.
Yeah, so it's a good shot.
Pigman is on the fucking roof.
And whoever this is, I assume it's Shawnee.
throws something through
the glass ceiling, which
looked like a big tube television to me
at first. It's 2001, so it's
totally possible. Definitely.
I hope the Saw Levin
will show the Ethan Hunt
-esque fucking training you have to do
to fucking repel down
from this fucking ceiling
to fucking get this lady in time
before she activates whatever
fucking otherworldly
fucking security system she has
on this place. Yeah, this is
both of them at the same time because this is where
she like runs to the car
and she's about to get out of the driveway and one of the
pig masks is standing in front of the car
it's Shawnee Smith because then
John Kramer comes out in the other pig mask
and injects her he's hiding in the back seat the whole time
and then it's like this is my associate
Amanda and the theater goes wild
oh man she's back oh man
I have loved her since
who's Harry Crumb
Oh, have you seen, have you seen Becker? It's delightful.
What is she, like a little daughter in who's Harry Crumb or something?
She's like his sidekick in who's Harry Crum.
She's like the younger, because it's like a model gets kidnapped and the model's younger sister is his sidekick when he's investigating it.
It's been a long time for me and Harry Crum.
Mother of God.
I know we're trying not always to do, we're trying to avoid comedy sometimes, but Mother of God that movie.
Jeffrey Jones versus John Candy
I fucking imagine
Oh that sounds delightful
I always confuse it with Delirious
You remember that one?
Delirious is the one with him and Eugene Levy
He's a writer writer yes
Eugene Levy was armed and dangerous
Was a big one?
That's armed and that isn't stay tuned
But what is the one I'm thinking of though
So it's not delirious
It's John Candy and Eugene Levy
They're limo drivers
And oh fuck
What is that movie
Going Berserk
Yes. Going Berserk. That is a sub-movie.
A shout factory put that out on a Blu-ray and I 100% bought it.
Oh, boy. I might have to join you.
Oh, dude. It took me back, man, because that, going Berserk was like a movie we danced around doing in the early days of W.H.
I remember it being a little dicey. There's definitely some dicey material in it. Don't worry about it.
Maybe we should look into some John Candy comedies, but you're right, Chris.
comedies can be kind of hard because it's like
tricky. What's the fun of us just pointing
out stuff that's not funny? I love talking
about stuff that makes me laugh. I love doing
that as much, but I entertain to the folks at home
at least not as entertaining as I try
to be. Exactly. We do get
a quick montage that shows Amanda
kidnapping everyone and
she's got a good line here. She's like, get some
rest, Cecilia. You're going to
fucking need it. I don't
necessarily buy her as a tough
character, but I appreciate the effort
in all these movies where she's trying to like
sound badass in her own way
and I think I think that's a totally
I'm a well-wisher to Shawnee Smith at this point
yeah exactly
she's been around forever
she's earned it and like I'm glad
she has like that's the thing is
I in in a better
world I would like the idea
like I like that Brady Kruger
is just Frady Krueger throughout those movies
I like that fucking Jason is just
Jason throughout those movies
I would have liked if
John Kramer would shut his fucking mouth
about the morals I would
like to have seen him throughout these movies doing this.
But they make him such like a, actually, I'm kind of a good guy.
If you would listen to me for 25 fucking minutes, you would understand that actually
this is, there's, there's some real political meaning here.
You know, I would argue that this is the only movie that actually tries to give us what,
what is behind his, you know, like, what is he doing this for?
You are absolutely right.
And it does that in fucking objection to everything that's come before it.
That's true.
Because everything that came before it was bad.
I think I'm now on board that this is maybe the best one, but I don't like the franchise.
I don't.
I don't like this idea.
I really don't.
But like, yeah, that's besides point.
We've said this many, many times.
They are all in the big warehouse now.
And now it's basically we're not leaving this facility.
Now it's like your tried and true formula.
Exactly.
Now we have spent our entire $13 million budget.
We're staying here, buddy.
Yes, here's the 250,000 left over.
And honestly, man, like, this is why it keeps getting sequels.
I mean, $13 million, box office is over $100 million.
Like, of course.
And your biggest star is Tobin Bell.
Yes.
Your costs are really low.
So I do love all these people shitting their ever-loving pants when they see John Kramer walk into the room.
And again, this is shit that, like, you don't get when it's just a tape recorder threatening people.
and they're like oh fuck here's the dude that we totally scammed and we all know that we totally scammed him
and now the chicken has come home to roost and we're totally fuck we're all chained here and they start screaming like
they all immediately turn on cecilia like it was all her she made us do everything and then this woman
goes uh like oh john we were only trying to help you and he just turns and goes that game
is over good for you john you tell him oh
Excellent, which is great because this movie does not end with a game over.
So this is where you get your game over.
And he turns to Valentina, who is like the nurse here.
And he goes, hey, Valentina, what'd you do with those blood samples?
You ever get those blood samples of mine to the lab?
Or did you just suck out my blood and flush it down a drain somewhere?
And with that idea, let me introduce, I'm my game.
And he's got, this is one of the most, he definitely.
definitely wanted her dead.
All the other ones, like, there's a pretty easy out.
She has to do, like, three things to get.
Yep.
She has to start the clock, first of all.
And then from there, she has to, there's a razor wire around her neck.
He refers to it as a gilly saw, by the way.
I never heard of such a thing, apparently.
I've read a book, so I'm actually smarter than you.
You're right.
They do.
they're like, oh, it was
invented by Leonardo Gile. Lee.
I'm not just reading Wikipedia right now.
Fucking piece of shit.
So, yeah, he has a very special word for what is
razor wire. And it's going to cut
through her neck. If she doesn't cut through
her thigh, take off her leg.
Completely remove her leg, amputated. Oh, my God.
It gets worse and worse.
Come, you have to do that. And then from there, that's
not enough. You have to, oh, I'm sorry. You have to
put a tourniquet on also while this is happening.
Uh, and then you have to stick a fucking, like,
a drainage pipe like a vacuum cleaner.
Yeah. Yep. Yep.
In your fucking leg to get enough blood into the bone marrow.
Is it bone marrow? It's bone marrow. It's, it's so, yeah,
it's like fucked up double dare. It's like you got to suck out all this stuff
so that the scale moves enough that it turns off the device.
This is down right guts. I would love.
Oh, well done.
So this was a missed fucking opportunity.
If she got, I would have loved it.
If she does it, she solves it.
But he's like, oh, excuse me, this is blood, not bone marrow.
And then he just does it.
It's just like, fuck.
And like, takes her head off.
I mean, it's, it's weight-based.
You could probably do blood, right?
Yeah.
I mean, well, it's a weird, like, there's a sort of like a filter,
like a filtered platform that the blood is falling through
and it's catching all of this bone marrow.
on it. And I'm trying not to
throw up here. I will
say, I saw this in the theater
and being in the theater
I had to look away. Like, at least
with my television and I'd already seen it before
and I was like, oh yeah, this is awful.
But dude, I was in that theater like
it's a rough one. It was
really. But I think, Chris, you're totally right. And I had
this thought watching it today. Like,
the first one is virtually
impossible. Like, yes, quote unquote,
you could do it. Sure. But like,
you're not going to do it.
She almost does it, too, by the way.
She comes real fucking close.
She comes close, sure.
But, like, he's able to calculate, you know, for that, like, all the hesitation that's
going to happen.
And I think he wants to guarantee the first one goes tits up.
So it shows, like, he's not fucking around with the rest of these people.
Like, look, it's real.
Like, I don't care that this girl got her head chopped off.
This is more to the point of, like, don't play the game.
Just get your head chopped off and die with some dignity here.
Yeah, yeah.
Don't give him his pleasure.
Like, or, I mean, maybe he's.
would get pleasure from what he would get pleasure from me what about when it when the head gets
cut off and the entire body slumps out of that chair pretty cool shot yeah yep it's not bad
because it's like the camera is on cecilia turning away to look away from it and it's just like
like the whole thing just falls on the floor really really tough stuff oh yeah i really want to
underline what you said andrew because you are 100% right this he's a showman and he knows that
he can't get through the rest of what he has to get through.
If she doesn't do it, I would have fucking loved, man.
If she's just like will not start the clock, like, no.
Well, I'll starve.
I'd rather starve to death than whatever the fuck.
Seriously.
Whatever this is, are you fucking serious?
Yes, but I think he has accounted for that already because that's what Mateo does and they all have like shock collars on.
Yeah, but doesn't he, like, isn't her whole thing like, I'm not going to do it?
And then like, Cecile's just like, you have to do it.
It's not even, you don't even see what force is hard to do it.
She does talk her into it in a way to talk her through it to survive it, but that does not happen.
No, it does not.
And like, yeah, she, of course, she does not get it.
She gets her head cut off.
And everybody's like, oh, that's so sad.
I bet he didn't want that to happen.
And next, I mean, now we're talking for a little bit.
It takes a while before Mateo comes up.
Right.
So much.
This is like, we get, well, talking with some truly disgusting
stuff peppered in.
But like this is also where like
Kramer's telling Amanda, you know,
everyone's got free will and Amanda's
trying to like sympathize
with the Gabriela character because
Amanda is a drug addict who's
in recovery thanks to the John
Kramer trials. You know,
and he's like, hey, you had problems with drugs.
I helped you out. She can help
herself out too, blah, blah, blah.
And so while they're having this convo,
Cecilia is trying to like scam her way out of there.
and she's like, you know how I'm going to do it?
I'm going to cut this corpse open,
grab Valentina's intestines out,
and use it like a rope.
Yes. And I'm almost...
This is almost where I'm with this movie,
where I'm like, okay, now you're pushing it,
and I actually like that.
Like, the idea that this would get so ridiculous,
like you're pulling the guts out of something.
Like, this is actually something I would see in Fulci,
like something silly a little bit.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, well, it's also fascinating because, like,
I think the Cecilia character,
it's interesting to have another villain in this movie.
Like, yes, John and Amanda are doing shitty stuff, of course.
And they're, like, protagonist and villain in the movie.
But, like, Cecilia is a bit of a formidable rival to John Kramer in that way.
And, like, she's willing to fucking instantly cut this corpse open
and grab the intestines.
She very casually is holding it in her hands.
hand and just goes, we have a rope.
Yes. You know what I mean? Like, this lady would
resort to cannibalism immediately if she
had to. Like, she's not playing around.
Exactly. But, which we're definitely setting her up.
I think, you know, obviously the sequel,
we'll see her again. And maybe, you know,
it'll be like a little cat mouse between who can do the best
murder traps. It's going to be her and
Kessler, for sure. It's nice to see an actual
like villain to Jigsaw versus just Randos.
But then I kind of wish, like,
Like the only vulnerability, like the only thing where you understand that
John Kramer is a person that can be like fooled is the beginning.
After that like every, he thinks of everything.
And like even like the twist at the end, you're like,
oh, but he even accounted for that.
Right.
Well, it's a real like fool me one shame on me, fool me twice saw on you.
You know what I'm saying?
So I suppose that is true.
She uses the intestines to pull.
There's like a cart with all their balloons.
longings on it that Shawnee Smith places in the middle of the room for no reason other than
to have this scene where Cecilia pulls the cart over using the intestines and grabs her cell
phone. She makes a quick phone call. You don't see who she calls and you don't understand it
because she's speaking Norwegian over the phone. And this is where Amanda uses the shock collar.
This is where you see that they have those. It's later revealed that she called Parker. I believe
yes. Yes. Because he's very soon after that like banging on the door like this is right here.
You said that you were going to get my cancer away
and I still have the dick-sized cancer in my throat.
Your scammers, I still got the knob in me throat.
I've come to get me money back, you thieves.
It's now a knob and shaft in there.
And you think that Jigsaw, you know,
John Kramer is like, oh, that happened to me right this way, sir.
Oh, a friend.
Finally another friend.
I do love the way that they like,
allow him entry though. It's like
the door opens, he walks in, and he
sees a pig mass person standing
there, and he shoots the
pig mass person, and the head falls
off because it's Valentina's corpse.
There is so much
corpse play in this
movie with this poor woman. Oh my God.
Valentina specifically, like, she
almost gets raped and then
has the most gruesome death,
and then on top of that has her fucking
severed head shot by this
lunatic. Oh, sorry, we were playing a little
weakened at Bernice with her.
And don't forget the intestines.
My God, the intestines.
Oh, yeah, they really fucking hate this one.
You see a lot of this girl.
And, you know, he's like, they're all con artists.
My new good friend, Parker Sears.
And, like, he fills him in on everything.
And he's like, he's basically right now trying to
amandify Parker Sears.
Like, let him into the fold, you know.
Well, it seems like,
I'm offering you a chance to do something significant with your life, blah, blah, blah.
But I think he really was gutted for Gabriela to be the new Amanda that doesn't come to pass.
Well, I already, I turned one drug addict and that seemed pretty easy.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
You know what?
I should have given her the head trap too.
That was the problem.
I got all fucking ambitious with the radiation gun.
I should have just gone with my instincts and done the head trap again.
Oh, this is where the face tasing happens.
because Mateo, unfortunately, calls Amanda the C word.
And she's like, oh, yeah, tasers to the face.
Yeah.
Very fun.
Yeah.
So, you know, this is the next thing up here is Billy the puppet making his appearance
because John has been like, all right, Gabriella's next.
And Amanda is like, if I'm doing things, you're making me do everything.
I'm saying that the fake anesthesiologist is who's up next.
And so finally, you got this guy through customs man,
Billy the puppet and his tricycle making appearance in this movie.
It's a gift for my nephew.
I work for a traveling rent fare, actually,
and we do some plays with Billy.
Yes, Billeth is what I call him.
Yeah, I know it's freaky looking.
It's a religious figurine.
So, you know, they're all weird looking and stuff.
I mean, don't pay it no mind.
You can't just be all punching Judy.
There has to be a third character out there, right?
Jeff.
Jeff.
Jeff the puppet.
Punch Judy and Jeff.
No, I guess we would be Billy, though.
Is Billy the puppet, like, they just call it that in the fandom verse or like James Juan said something?
I think that's a James Wan thing.
I don't know for sure, but that sounds like it's not like he's ever saying, Billy, it's
Billy time.
No, no, it doesn't.
It should totally.
it should be Billy time at some point
It's Billy time
Yes please
It feels like something like
That's what the actual doll
Behind the scene
So how I mean he's a great civil engineer
How does it pedal itself
Oh there's a little mechanism in there
Oh I bet there is
Something something civil engineer
Yeah yeah yeah
Well so it brings out this cart
With the tape for Mateo
And it's got some little other trinkets there
Little medical devices and what I do
love Mateo because he is saying
what the audience is thinking, which is
what the fuck is that? Which is a
very funny line to me. And so
yes, here's the tape. And this
is, man, a lot of
steps to these jigsaw traps
in this movie, I have to say. This one is
Mateo has to do brain
surgery on himself. He has to cut open
his own skull. Which, no, it's not happening.
Sorry, John. Put the fucking heat
lamps in my face. Yep.
Electrocut my neck until I'm
roasted like a fucking overdone
hot dog dude because I'm not doing this. Close up this mask
and kill me. I'm not playing your game. I know you want me to be better or
whatever, but I'm dying today. That's the thing. This whole franchise
overestimates the amount of people that would even do any of this. Like, are you
kidding me, man? Like at the end of this, like, sure, a bunch of pain comes my way, but then I don't
have to worry about bills ever again. All right. Which is why the first, the first trap that was
the fake out is kind of the most, you know, yeah, okay, I'll break all my fingers. So my
eyeballs don't get sucked out. But this trap, I'm not going to saw my skull open and take out a piece
of the skull and take out a piece of the brain and then put enough in a jar. Oh, so you're selfish.
You could have, you could so easily heal from your wounds here. Yes. But you, you wouldn't do that.
You would rather die. You're so selfish. I'm the selfish one. Yeah. He is spouting a whole bunch of
nonsense that sort of sounds like he's trying to convince this guy. He's.
he may turn into some sort of like
brainiac superhero kind of thing
because he's like, you know, Mateo,
plenty of people over the years
have lost large swaths of their brain.
I mean, even like a whole hemisphere,
just gone. And then
the brain rewires itself and
sometimes better, stronger,
faster. I said the same thing to Bill Maher
on his show last night.
That's a sawtrap watching Bill Maher.
Oh, fuck, dude.
Yeah. In this universe, if things
said swung differently, John Kramer would have
definitely appeared on real time
with Bill Maher at least once.
After the Architecture
Digest Awards gave him his
fucking big award.
Well, actually, holy shit.
Now I'm thinking, so like,
remember in that not great
scream three, how it's like, scream goes
to Hollywood and whatever.
Dude, Saw goes to Hollywood.
And yeah, he won some civil engineer
award or whatever the fuck. He's going
on all these talk shows, but then
the traps are like
the writing staff
and host of some shitty talk show
that he's on. Honestly, you're hitting
all the fucking MAGA points.
Mexico, first off,
want to go to Hollywood next? Let's do it.
Honestly, that makes
sense to me.
So, yes, he has to
you know,
pluck a bunch of
fucking brains out like it's pieces of
sashimi and dump it in this
these enzyme thing.
and something something,
this will close the circuit
and not kill this guy.
I don't understand how this one.
Roast me, King, like actually,
literally roast me.
It's always like the problem,
it's so heartbreaking
because Valentino almost got it.
This guy almost gets it,
but it's like arbitrary that like it's within a few seconds.
It's a few seconds too late.
Yeah,
it just goes to show.
If you ever put in a fucking sawtrap,
do not hesitate.
Well, no, you know what?
You're not thinking this through.
because chemo takes three minutes
every day.
It only takes three minutes.
It doesn't, you know, that's what I don't get his equipment.
I mean, that's why he's fucking crazy and like a bad person.
But like we also have to think of him as a good person.
Is that like, yeah, of course, like three minute thing is bullshit.
And he just wants to kill these people.
Yes, it's just a real thing.
It's just to kill people.
Oh, I didn't do it.
It was the monster machine that I built, but I don't do it.
I only had three minutes to get over my cancer.
So why haven't they gotten over their soul cancers or whatever the fuck?
It would make more sense if he was doing chemo to himself, right?
Exactly.
Like just anything to make this fake sense.
You know how you go to the doctor's office and they put you down into that machine and they say chemo yourself in three minutes?
It's easy. Easy piece.
I mean, you know, it would be kind of great if, you know, we've got the situation.
The dude, like, Mateo looks at the clock, and he's like, all right, look, man, I appreciate my life.
I do have the will to live, and I will do this, but three minutes is unacceptable.
I've never carved a hole in any skull, let alone my own skull.
This is going to take some time.
I've got to psych myself up.
How about, I don't know, six minutes?
Give me six minutes, I'll figure it out.
Quote Val Kilmer from Alexander.
Jigsaw be reasonable.
Wow.
That is a weird pull.
I rewatched the director's cut really good movie.
I have always been mean to see that.
It is something else, man.
I only saw the theatrical in theaters.
Much like Ridley Scott's Kingdom of Heaven,
the theatrical is bad.
The director's cut is great.
Oh, I'm fingers crossed on Napoleon.
Me too. Oh, man.
That would be so great if we get a new cut.
Yes.
I would really love to see that.
Supposedly four hours.
I don't know where it is.
Yes.
Wow.
Yes, please give me that.
So, yeah, he does the skull thing.
And I have to say, at least jigsaw, you know, John Kramer,
courteous enough to do the head shaving already.
There's a little bit of an outline.
And for his first time carving into a skull,
that's also his own skull, this dude is precise.
I was pretty impressed.
All that vet school stuff, dude.
Oh, right.
Comes right back.
Even though you're watching, you're doing it through like a camera.
But, yeah, I mean, he just barely misses and he gets roasted,
right up who toast her face uh and uh that that's that and like pretty quickly from that we're
going to gabriella like it's almost immediate yes yes the chain start pulling her up and she's being
exposed to the radiation she's tasked with breaking like her hands and her legs to get out of it
she's got to pull a uh a gerald's game basically while hanging from this apparatus while it's some
sort of huge heat lamp
yeah that is turned on her
and she's got to like bang her
foot and hand
out of these chains or whatever
Cecilia this whole time
through all of these people has been like
the cheerleader like you can do it
you have to do this thing
blah blah and I'm like I don't know like
if these are all
people who assisted
me in my scam here
I would kind of be fine with
them just being picked off one by one with this
I would not be cheering for them
Later on she was like
It was good actually
Because it's less people to split the money with
Right
Yeah
Now it's just me and Parker Sears
Get all the fucking all the money
Parker Sears
Yeah
Which it's so yeah
Gabriela is trying very hard
Doesn't he like
She fails but doesn't they like
Aren't they like
Get an ambulance she could still make it
Yes no she no she does
She does make it
She will it's this is the one first of all
where she's like, fuck you,
I'm not playing that tape
and throws it across the room.
And then you see John Kramer
like he's speaking into this PA microphone
and it's just him reading the script that he wrote.
Because there's definitely multiple times
of Tobin Bell looking down
and he can only be looking down at the desk
because notes are there and he's giving,
like you see him give an actual jigsaw speech
that you normally just hear through the tape recorders
or the puppet or whatever.
Why doesn't he do that usually?
He's like, no, no, no, no.
I need to have evidence.
Well, I would love that
If he's like he's reading
He's like much like Godzilla
In the nation of Japan
He's like oh this is the old draft
I deleted all of this the first time
It's supposed to be about cancer now
Look around yourself graduates
You have just graduate from the Civil Engine
Oh wait no this was my commencement speech
When I got an honorary degree
At BCU
So she fucking
Cecili's like start with your foot
Because then you'll be able
the swing out of the way, the thing. She
bashes her own foot. And then
John Kramer just can move this heat
lamp directly lined up with her again.
Oops.
But she does win, you know,
she falls down or whatever, and
John Kramer says to Amanda, drop her
at the hospital. And then this is
where, uh-oh, Parker Seals
pulls a gun, because he's just been lying
about being a double.
He is indeed a double.
And this is like, I
you know I die for you, baby, and he's like making out with Cecilia.
I was bloody in on it, mate.
God damn it.
And this is really the...
This is brutal.
The reveal to the actual end of this movie to me takes so much time to get...
This is where I'm like, you could have cut this down to the nice 100 minutes and we would have been fine.
Yep, absolutely.
Important to point out, though, now that Parker Sears and Cecilia have the upper
her hand. John Kramer and Amanda are both like, this woman needs medical attention. And
Cecilia's like, not if I have anything to say about it. And she literally steps on this girl's
throat until she breaks her neck. Awesome. Awesome. That's just like John Kramer being like,
actually, she really needs some help. No, no. I, yeah, I baked her face for five minutes.
It's great. It reminds me of Star Trek 3 with Christopher Lloyd being like, because you wish it.
Yeah, that's right. Why won't you take her to the hospital? Because you wish it.
Exactly. You just got to kill her to get back. This is good to get back at Jigsaw because
fuck your stupid game, bro, you know? Yeah, I do like that. Um, you know, so Parker puts John in
his own trap here. Now the shoe's on the other foot. And, you know, they're like, oh, well,
who else? It's a, it's a big, like, chain thing that requires two people. Who's going to be
other person. Oh, would you look at that? Look who's outside kicking a soccer ball against the
factory wall. Little young Carlos here. Yes. So we go out. We fucking get this kid. But he's innocent.
He didn't do anything. And it's just like, he never did drugs. Yeah, exactly. So he shouldn't be
killed. You're a murder, murdering dipshit, John Kramer. Come on. This fucking false morality that
he keeps up being like, you'll understand it at some point. I swear to God. Uh, so.
bad Cecilia delivery here
she's like telling him
you know oh once I figured out who you were
blah blah blah blah and she's like
your jig fucking saw
and I was like that sucks
that super fucking sucks
also like this moment
when you're like an hour
and 47 minutes into this
slightly under two hour movie
only then is someone in this world
like oh I'm aware of the jigsaw killer
it just seems like a little too late in the game
for the movie to acknowledge that
he's so renowned that this
Norwegian con artist slash doctor
or whatever would know of his existence
you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. No thank you.
But all right, so everyone is disgusted
that she wants to kill this little kid
and we sort of get him on this thing
and he's like, okay, you know, don't
no halar
that's what he keeps saying
this kid like don't pull the thing
like let it all happen to me or whatever
and you're like
what could this thing possibly be
and it's basically
they're waterboarding each other
depending upon
whose lever is pulled where
but this is it's worse
than jig fucking saw
is when Cecilia just goes
not waterboarding
huh bloodboarding
I was like that's the worst line
of the business
no thank you
where is this blood from
Is it from the pigs?
I mean, some of it should have been
John Kramer's like,
I found that blood you were going to pour down the drain.
Yeah, I, you're another great point.
Where is this blood coming from?
And if there's this much blood,
you have to set it up.
Oh, no, this wasn't an old chemical factory.
This is an old slaughterhouse or a closed for the holiday slaughterhouse.
In fact, that's why that's how you get your fucking pig masks
and your blood supply.
Well, this is a little awkward
since Carlos is here, of course,
but I put his father
in a barrel with a bunch of lime
and I just turned him into liquid blood.
And that's what's pouring all over your face right now.
I appreciate the seesaw here, you know,
up and down.
Yeah, I mean, it's a pretty,
as far as saw traps go,
it's a pretty interesting one.
it's the two person ones are always kind of like
you know like there's the one with the
the two guys big guy and little guy
whichever that one is and they like beat the shit out of each other
and there's also two girls one cup
that was one of the greatest jigsaw traps of all time
was two girls one cup yeah he's sneaky
that John Kramer hello ladies
I want to become infamous on the internet
classically shit goes in a toilet
you've been talking shit
why don't you start eating it
it is kind of funny
that Amanda is only yelling at them
to stop this whole thing
when the blood is going on
to Kramer's face
when the little kid is getting it
this girl is dead silent
and then as soon as John Kramer's getting
and she's like
you gotta stop the madness
it's because you know for a fact
they didn't show it of course
but like John Kramer's first few tests
were definitely on like
17 and 18 year olds
like who were like skateboarding
and no skateboarding thumbs
and he was like that's enough
they have to be fucking gutted now
oh hey there Justin
did you see that sign that says
no loitering I guess you didn't
because you and your friends were loitering
outside the circle
you lived your life as a loiterer
oh you kids
have some frosty tall boys
I'm not going to kidnap the man that
bought them for you but I will
kidnap you
as if enough people
head and figure out what's going on
you've got
Parker Sears and Cecilia
in this control room and he's like
I can't believe they fell for it
fucking idiots
and they start making out and I'm like
yep most of the audience
probably got this 10 minutes ago but that's fine
and he's got this throwoff line of like
oh hey Cecilia like if this
seesaw trap was yours
like who's supposed to be on the other side of that plank
with you. And she's like, oh, whatever. It doesn't matter. Here's that bag of money. And she pulls
it off this shelf. And uh-oh, red alarm, lights go out. The saw theme starts playing. Look,
when you start hearing that song, you know you're totally fucked. Yeah. And there is a gas that
is pouring into the room that just melts the flesh off your body. Essentially, it burns
you pretty badly. And Kramer has gotten free and is like, look,
I guess this is the tape still where he's like, look, there's one hole.
It's a hole in an air-free spot.
A head hole, which I thought the twist at the end, I thought it was going to be a guillotine or something.
Yes, that's what I thought.
Oh, that would have been super fucking funny.
Could you imagine that?
Well, but we got to, we're building out a new universe here, Eric.
We got to, you know, we got to build out a new villain so we can't kill her right yet.
Right. Which, you know, I appreciate, I guess, in some level.
Well, because I, if this was her death, like, she just gets her head cut off, come on.
She's the most evil there.
Like, come on.
True.
I need her to be ripped apart.
Like, I really do need that.
If we're going to do this, if we're going to play this game.
Sounds like we just sold a ticket for Saw 11 here.
I mean, everybody who is on this podcast currently is seeing Saw 11.
Yeah, well, we're obligated to shit or exactly.
But, yes, she sticks her head in it.
There's a little bit of a fight, but of course, Parker Sears succumbs to being gas burned.
Yes, yes.
There's a struggle.
Well, she stabs him in the.
You got that too, yes, of course, yes.
And Kramer and Shawnee Smith and beautiful little Carlos,
who are covered in shit in blood.
Oh, man.
It is disgusting.
Walk out into the beautiful sunshine.
Let's get you home, Carlos.
Maybe a shower first.
You know what?
I'll settle for a fucking hose.
Is there a hose anywhere in this facility?
And he's going to give him the money, presumably, with this bag.
Oh, he does.
Yeah, he gives him the money.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what?
I was, I'll give this to you and your father.
Oh, sorry, I killed your father because he gave a 16-year-old a cigarette.
So that's, you know, I had to cut his head off.
Sorry, I'm sorry, Carlos, but here's some money.
Your father was walking into the Circle K and some teens asked him to buy them cigarettes
and he complied.
Yes.
So I melted his body digitally.
Your little dog named Pepito, the pooped on the sidewalk and he didn't pick it up.
So, of course, I had to liquidate him.
Yeah, he didn't curb his dog so I.
curb stomped him
and also turned him into blood jelly
and now
he's all over us
we're covered in your father
they leave this fucking chemical
factory and they leave that puppet behind
pretty great calling card
I have to say no questions asked
as to who was responsible with this
because he's apparently world famous as the
jigsaw killer well yeah
and I do I mean
I when I said
hit the road. I was thinking more
of like about Kramer
you know he goes to see his
daughter get
wedded to some crazy
family he doesn't like but
I'm also into this trip to Greece
kind of situation. If we are doing this
internationally now like I would like to see
where like what is it like to watch him
in Italy like is he going to
connect with the old P2 people and really
figure out what to do? If we get a sequel
where he gets to wear like a little straw hat
meat spaghetti. Oh, man. I'm going to be so thrilled. Dude, some squid. He gets some charred squid
for sure. You just, you guys just figured it out. You turn these movies into the white lotus.
Yeah, yeah. Every movie, he's just in a different exotic location. But dispatching people.
It's very important though. Each time he thinks he's getting a special procedure that's going to save him
from cancer. And he keeps on fucking ago because he's,
an idiot. Saw 11
colon still falling
for it. A dumb ass motherfucker
because like Eric
can I ask you, when you see
these people
in this warehouse with these
contraptions on them, is this
what you think that people
who like
get on you for
mispronouncing
Star Wars names are trying
are going to do to you?
No, no, no. That's what I'm going to do to them.
Okay. Because, yeah, I would be, it would be very funny to me. It was like, you, you didn't say a moron assholio correctly. And you actually mispronounced his father, a dumb guy, fuck shit. Oh, well, people, people get upset because, you know, they hear it one way in their head cannon or they played a video game. And that's, it's just, the thing is, people just have to say stuff. People have to be opinionated. Yes, of course. They just have to, you know, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's just.
leaves their mark. They have to leave their mark.
I can't wait for the Gleap Gloucery episode on scumbag assholio or whatever you call that might be
next month. We'll see. We'll see. Good idea.
Yeah, but that's that's it. They walk off into the sunset. It's a really awkward like the title card
just comes up. It's very unbees. Artie. It's artie as shit. And I don't, I do not like it.
I thought I was watching after Yang for a second. Absolutely.
That's the, it's an 824 thing.
I would like it if that was the actual end of the movie, but it's not.
You're right.
We got a little bit of a stinger here.
So it's like they walk off into the sunset.
You got about 30 seconds of,
Darnet, darn it, darn, da, bap, so.
And then it cuts back.
Uh-oh.
We're in the famous fucking bathroom.
And here's Kramer with Henry Kessler.
He's all tied up.
Costas Mandilor is there.
He's located him, you know.
And dude, Mandy lore is pretty funny right here.
He's like,
Out of all the men to cheat, you pick John Kramer.
I call that epic bad luck.
You see, the movie takes place in the past,
and we're still saying epic a lot.
Right, okay, yeah, then that makes sense.
Sure.
And this dude's all tied up and he's got a little device on his gut.
And he's like, oh, where's your battle scar there, buddy?
That's all gone, huh?
Savini did a good cleanup job on that.
and you see him
out of the horse's mouth
itself John Kramer says
I want to play a game
there you go
but here's my thing about that
I want to play a game he turns this device on
and this dude starts screaming
I was like is this a game
or is this just like we're killing
this dude
kind of sounds like he's just being murdered
I think we're going to find out next
in the next movie I think this is probably
what's going to open the movie
saw 11 still falling for it
still getting scams.
These saw movies love that connective tissue.
Like the door closes on the detective,
but he's in the next movie, et cetera, et cetera.
I bet you what's going to happen is
you're going to open the next one with the useless detective
is going to find Michael Beach's body
and you're going to get the flashback
to whatever happened with the fucking belly eater
or whatever it was.
Yeah, you're totally right.
And I got to say also,
Costas Mandy lore, you know,
dude's looking great.
He is.
Still look totally like,
detective, whatever the fuck.
Like, so if you're bringing this guy back into these movies after all this time,
fine, whatever, whatever.
Hoffman, Mark Hoffman.
That's right.
That's right.
But that is going to do it.
That's the end of Saw X.
I'm sure we are, of course, not done with the Saw franchise.
But final thoughts on this motion picture, Eric Sisko?
Yes.
No, I think I do think this is the best Saw movie.
I did.
It's a light recommend to not recommend.
I don't really like the franchise.
much. I find it a little too
dirty for my
tastes. Like a more clean
kills. This rusted equipment
just gets tiresome. Warehouses
get tiresome. But now it's a warehouse
in a different country. I appreciate
the setup of getting there.
I would love more shots outside.
This movie delivered some shots
outside, which we don't usually get
in this franchise. So yeah, it's a
light recommended. I think it's the best of the series.
Chris,
we'll let you go last. I'll just say
because Eric kind of summed up how I feel about it.
It is kind of a light recommend for me
because it's the most of these movies
that feels like a movie.
And yeah, you know, with part one,
it is, if you forget that a bunch of other movies
happen after it and totally are convoluted
and filled with weird structures and flashbacks
and pointless twists,
if you just look at that first one as like a weird,
isolated little indie horror movie,
I think that's the way to sort of remember that first movie.
But this just feels like more of a movie, despite all of its flaws.
It's just like we're ditching single location stuff.
We're ditching cops being 30 minutes behind the movie.
John Kramer's actually out and about.
And it's like, you know, I've said this before on other things.
But I think Tobin Bell is a good actor.
And it's just refreshing to see a movie in this franchise that has made him a household name to some degree.
You know, and he actually gets to act in it.
And he's not just laying in a hospital bed and doing these like pointless flashbacks.
an actual story of him.
And yes, it's goofy as fuck, but
they all are. Chris Cabin, final thought.
Well, before we get to my actual thoughts,
I do, if you are, you are, it sounds
like you're a very big Tobin Bell fan. He did have
another film in 2023
with the Randy Couture called
Clown Motel. What?
Tell me of Clown Motel.
It is a horror film, and
it is, it's just, Randy Couture
and Tobin Bell, who
is in like faded clown
makeup on the cover. It's
I haven't seen it yet.
I just saw the, I was looking at two Tobin Bell's
filmography, and it was right towards the top.
And holy God, am I not watching that movie?
But maybe Eric will, maybe Andrew will.
Yeah, maybe.
Maybe. We'll see.
Well, wait, just hang on a second.
It's got Toll Road in it. Come on.
Randy Couture, Tobin Bell,
also Richard Greco in this movie.
And here's the logline.
When Alma returns home to help her family get their Native American
heritage recognized, all she
finds is the world famous clown
motel that has been erected
on their land. Yes. Oh,
I'm going to watch this movie.
This is based on what
there's an actual clown motel out west
that's like weird or something.
Is that true? Yeah, Nevada. It's like a
it's like a freak show
stop there on your way
somewhere kind of thing. I would
suggest actually going to the place rather than watching
whatever this film is. But hey, trivia, the
production crew for clown motel
actually stayed at the real clown motel
during the production. Oh, there you go.
There's the answer to your question right there.
Yeah, I just, I don't
like these movies. Like the,
it is more well made than
these usually are, but I do
attribute that to them trying to find
a new way to continue this
on. And what I like
about franchises is that
like, for the most part, the best
ones are the ones that have really stuck around
are killing machine. Like, they're not, like,
trying to explain themselves. They're not, like, the one that's trying to explain himself the most
is fucking pinhead. And, like, he has some cosmic horror to deal with. There's, there's some
actual ambition to, like, talk about spirituality and things like that. That, to me, is more
interesting than just this weird moral idea that John Kramer is. And I don't appreciate it. I find
it, like, it slogs everything down. It means we have to talk more. It means we have to explain
ourselves more. And it just isn't what I like from horror.
Even the like, quote unquote, like, smart or elevated horror, that's not what I like about it.
And I find that this just kind of is like, well, we've got to do something new because the other stuff has kind of been spent and we kill our fucking character.
So we have to find a new way to do it.
So we're going to just try a little, it's going to look a little better, you know, it's going to, we're going to try to build a new story out of this.
And like, I don't know how it's going to unravel because I'm sure we're going to be explained quite.
a lot of how it unravels, but I don't know. I cannot stand these movies. These movies
bug me. I think they're kind of full of shit in a way. I agree with you. I mean, I don't
really like them either, but I thought this was a more watchable one. It is, it is undeniably a more
watch. This and Jigsaw are the most watchable ones. They look good. I just can't get behind this
story. And I can't get behind John Kramer. It's just not in me. So you're not voting John Kramer.
for president. Hey, you know what?
If he's a VP pick, who knows? He just
got like 60% in Iowa.
So I think it's happening.
John Kramer's happening, dude.
But that is going to do it for this episode on
Saw X, which brings to a close
our month of talking about
some of the most confounding stuff
from last year.
But if you are
listening to this on Patreon
at the $8 level or up, that means you are listening
to this commercial free. That's right.
Ad free. We hate movies.
on the Patreon, where you will also find more
we hate movies like
this month's we love movies selection
all about Oppenheimer, a movie that I'm sure
now is destined for Hollywood's biggest
night. Appie Update, by the way,
I've now seen it for... Oh, nice. Yes, it is...
It's a great movie. It's a lot of... It's, our
conversation's a lot of fun. It's almost three hours long. So
perfect companion piece for your rewatch
before the Academy Awards. Also, I should say,
This Thursday night, turn into our digital worldwide experience.
It's going to be live.
We're doing an episode live that you can listen to and watch live on The Flash.
Yes, indeed.
Ooh, that's right.
So while we are done technically with confusing and disappointing movies from last year on the feed,
we got one more for you talking the Flash, that's going to be a lot of fun.
And of course, if you can't make it Thursday night live, replay is available for seven days after that moment.
dot co slash we hate movies for those tickets. Do not forget to tune into the after
party as well where we get a little drunker, a little higher, and we
answer some questions. That's right. Those are
always a lot of fun. So do not miss that stuff. Let's
see. What else we got? Eric, what were we doing on animation, damnation this
agent Elvis. Now, this is a cartoon about Elvis, who's a
spy of sorts. Yes.
Sure.
You had a monkey companion.
It's a lot of, that's a fun episode.
It's a big honkid one and we have a really good time with bullshitting about that premise.
And on the Gleepe glossary, we're doing Lady Valerian.
This is our Star Wars sideshow where we talk about expanded universe characters that time has sort of forgotten.
And this one, we settle a bet.
Oh, yes, we do.
The bet is settled and it is fucking great.
You do want to do not want to miss that.
And, of course, Melrode 210 and the Nexus out this month, as always, our journey through all of that television recap business continues.
Now, of course, Steve Sadek down to Mexico for some bogus medical treatment.
We don't yet know if he knew he was getting scammed, but we knew he was getting scammed and let him go anyway.
Because Steve's an adult and can make his own decisions, folks, all right?
But Chris Cabin, if Steve were here, I would say next week the show continues.
We Hate Movies back to our regularly program schedule.
What motion picture we'll be talking about next week?
We will finally be talking about blasts from the fucking past.
Brendan Frazier, Christopher Walken, Alicia Silverstone, a time travel.
I guess it's a time capsule movie more than time traveling movie.
Time Caps is a good way to sum it up.
It's more like what that is.
It is a horror show and we cannot wait to talk about it and remember what it's about otherwise.
Yeah, I watched this for the first time maybe.
seven or eight months ago
and I kind of don't super remember.
Don't remember. No.
Do not remember.
It's been a while. Also, don't forget, folks,
April 25th will be in Atlanta, Georgia
doing a live podcast.
We'll be doing a live podcast also
in Houston, Texas, May 14th
and Austin, Texas, May 15th.
Tickets and all information,
you can find at WHMpodcast.com.
Click on tour and come out and see us.
And get your calls in tomorrow.
Listener request month.
Get your calls in.
it ends tomorrow folks if you're listening to this the day it's released tomorrow is the last day to get your calls in for listener requests month 2024 oh yeah that's of course you know the the month of march you tell us what to watch both on the we hate movies feed here and on all the patreon stuff so all of that information you probably heard on a bumper at the beginning of this unless you listen to it ad free in which case we have posted all the information on a patreon post on the patreon platform so you can get that stuff
there. But that's going to do it for this week, gang. Until next week, we're talking blast from the
past. I've been Andrew Jupin. Eric Siska. Chris Cabin. Take it easy.
Thank you.