We Hate Movies - S14 Ep722: Blast from the Past

Episode Date: February 6, 2024

“Now here’s my question: bellhops at a Holiday Inn?” — Andrew On this week’s show, we’re chatting about the goofy sci-fi rom-com that should’ve been made as an eerie sci-fi thriller, Blast from the Past! Shouldn’t Christopher Walken’s character be brought up on charges? How has Brendan Fraser’s character not grown into a big, hulking baby psycho? Why do Fraser and Dave Foley both have terribly dyed jet-black hair in this movie? And could we just get a weird little movie about Joey Slotnick’s dive bar? PLUS: The return of the VHS Trailer Game!  Blast from the Past stars Brendan Fraser, Alicia Silverstone, Christopher Walken, Sissy Spacek, Dave Foley, Joey Slotnick, and Nathan Fillion as Cliff; directed by Hugh Wilson. Today's episode is brought to you in party by Microdose Gummies! Get 30% off your first order, plus free shipping today at Microdose.com, promo code WHM. It’s available nationwide. That’s Microdose.com, promo code WHM, for 30% off and free shipping. Microdose.com, promo code WHM. If you haven’t yet checked out our digital show on THE FLASH from last week, you have until Thursday, February 8th to catch that replay! MOMENT DOT CO SLASH WE HATE MOVIES for tickets, gang! Don’t miss out! Catch us on the road this spring as we take a trek through the American South! We’re hitting Atlanta for the first time in SEVEN YEARS, Houston for the FIRST TIME EVER (!!!) and Austin for the first time in SIX YEARS, and we wanna see you out there! Head to our website for all ticketing information and come out to these spring shows! Want more WHM? Join our Patreon fam today and instantly unlock hours and hours of exclusive bonus content, including Ad-Free WHM Prime at the $8 level and up! Make the WHM Merch Store your one-stop shop for all your We Hate Movies needs! Including new Polish Decoy, ‘Jack Kirby’, and Forrest the Universal Soldier designs!

This week on We Hate Movies. It's another movie where Brendan Fraser's kind of technically playing a caveman. It's Blast from the Past. I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Sadak. Eric Blasting. A bunker boy, Chris Cabin. Oh, there he goes. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone. Welcome to the fine program, as always. If you're joining us for the first time, we're a comedy show that takes a movie of any kind, really, and just sort of pokes fun at it a little bit. This week, we're talking blast from the past. passed from 1999 directed by Hugh Wilson, rest in peace. This guy, hell of a fucking career. Auteur, they invented the word for this fellow. Listen to this

filmography. I'm sure, Andrew, you got it at the ready. I absolutely do. First of all, he was a creator of what I think is a really great sitcom WKRP in Cincinnati. Oh, wow, okay. He directed Police Academy. And also wrote it.

He directed Burglar with Whoopi Goldberg. I believe that's a state. Strike against. you. There's one. Guarding Tess. There's a two. Two against you there. First Lives Club. I love that Police Academy is getting the Chris Cabin Pass on this street. Of course.

The Police Academy is a classic. What the fuck. There we go. All right. Don't worry, Chris. There's definitely a strike coming up towards the end of this. First Wives Club, which I think is a good movie. It's fine. Here we go. Re-teaming with the phrase dog for Dudley-Dewrite. Oh, yeah. And you're out. That is a demented

filmography. What? Like, oh, my God. And so get this. No one remembers this movie. Mickey from 2004 with Harry Connick Jr., where he plays a dude on the run from the IRS who changes his identity. And then his child who's, like, too old to be playing Little League.

He, like, secretly enrolls in a Little League. And then the kid's really good and starts making headlines. And he's like, oh, no, the IRS might be coming man. Oh, no, I got to kill my kid to stay ahead of the IRS. We've always wondered, how do you package tax evasion and ladybugs? I mean, something weird. It's coming up, dude. I got to think about my own way out.

That's actually true. We might be watching Mickey tonight with a notebook. And this dude also wrote previous episode and Bert Reynolds' movie Stroker Ace. Right. Oh, my God. And he wrote the, I guarantee you it's a stay tuned down periscope. Hell of a fucking filmography. Oh, I could tell you.

It's a stay tuned. I've seen that in a bit. embarrassing amount of times in the 90s. Now, before we hit the auto lock on our bunker, I would like to hit play really quickly. Uh-oh. It's the VHS trailer game.

America's favorite game, but obsolete materials. We have been gone for a little bit. We had some medical complications. Certain things have kept us away from the trailer game, but the trailer game is back, and it's better than ever. I thought it was pending an investigation or something. There were some investigations. that did happen.

Nothing substantial. Is that right? Yeah, it was a bunch of smoke. But no fire. But the good news is we're behind a little bit. I will be peppering this in, by the way, to the on-screen live in the next couple of weeks. So you want to check us out on Mondays at noon Eastern time

on our YouTube channel. We do on-screen live, which you want to check out anyway. That's right. I'll be thrown at least one VHS trailer game of that in the month of February to kind of even stuff out a little bit. There we go. This is returning champion here. I got to reclaim my title.

Exactly. Now in case you guys are wondering what the VHS trailer game is, it's a fun little game where I played these guys and the winner gets to do a whole bunch of stuff gets to choose a movie for next year. I believe, what did we say that the winner gets the one WLM of their choice as

well as a redo. That's two movies for the winner of this thing. And as always, gets the, gets to raid the we hate movie slush fund for a cameo, a taunting cameo of their choice. That's right. This is fantastic. Right now, the score as it stands. Oh, boy. Chris Cabot has 40 points. Mm-hmm. Andrew is 20 and Eric has zero. But again, how's that? How's that passed? I won last year. I know you won last year, but that was last year. We've only done three rounds. And then the points end when you went, when the shows. Yeah, yeah. You don't get extra points after. It just doesn't keep going. All right, I'm learning.

Okay, fine. So here we go. We're going to do this as we always do. I'm going to ask a series of clues as they'll go down in point order. So the first one, so it's five points, four points, three points, et cetera. If you buzz in and guess incorrectly, you are out of the round. I will say there's some subtitle stuff going on on one of these titles. So I do want the full correct title.

Okay. In French or something? Subtitles are happening? Yes. Okay. Okay. So here we are we ready? Do I have any questions?

Uh, no. So, uh, here we go. Round one. Game Masters Kalu. Here it is. A Hong Kong action star who never really made it in America had a bunch of misfires. This one paired him with a WHM favorite impression in a buddy cop situation. Chris Cabin.

Uh, Rush hour? It is not rush hour. I have Andrew Jupin coming in right after that. The protector? It is not the protector. Fuck. Uh, so. Eric, do you want to go

onto the Tribune trivia? Let's go on to the Tribune trivia. Now it's all Eric here. Director James Foley said this movie should be deliberately exaggerated visual style with multicolored fluorescent lighting, flashing strobe lights, constantly moving high-held cameras with whip pans and snap zooms because he thought his last

few movies were very boring and formulaic. He wanted to reinvent himself as a filmmaker. He originally thought the cinematographer Juan Rees Anisha would hate some of his ideas in mind, but he loved them. So that's useless. Oh, God.

But I will just remember, Hong Kong action start never really made it in America. A bunch of misfires had a, had a WHM favorite impression, buddy cop. What's a WHM favorite impression, Hong Kong guy that never really made it in America? Hong Kong guy that never made it in America. I mean, he made it in America. Everyone knows who he is, but he never had a hit. Oh, my God. How am I fucking, how am I striking out on this?

I've been watching a lot of Hong Kong. movies. Let's do the last clue. We have a couple more. Tagline. If you have a secret, he knows it. If you have a weakness, he exploits it. If you have anything good in you, he destroys it. He is the you know, can I just

say, I thought of the right movie in my head and got the fucking title. I knew you got the title wrong, unfortunately. Here he goes. Star number two, for two big points. Mark Wahlberg is in this movie area. Mark Wahlberg at a Hong Kong action.

Star. Oh my God. I think I got it. What is it? The corruptor? It is the corruptor for two points. I have been circling, watching this actually. Oh my God. I should do it. Yeah, the pretty, I don't even know if the protector is a real movie. No, it is with Jackie Chan. Oh, is it? Wow.

Wow. Got it. But I think I'm fair with China and Fett never really. Didn't he? Wasn't Crouching Tiger a big head? But that's not an international title. It was an Oscar contender as well. But yeah, not in England. English, my friend. I guess you're right.

I think bulletproof monk erased all. Exactly. That's what I'm talking about. You're bulletproof monk, your whatever's. Okay, here we go. Moving on to round two. Okay. Round two.

Game Masters Clute. This is so stressful. A classic, hey, let's just film a play. That never goes wrong situation. Adapt one. We're a bunch of dudes in a Hollywood home monologue at each other about drugs, life and the industry, and chicks, man. Chris Cabin.

Hurley-Burley? It is Hurley-burly for five big points. Whoa. Yeah, dude. Hurley fucking burly. Horrible movie. Horrible movie. It's Kevin Spacey and Sean Penn. Yes, Kevin Spacey with blonde hair in that film, dude. Yes, man. Yuck. And Chess Poulbittaries around. Gary Shandling is involved. Oh, this sounds like a future episode.

No, it's not. It's all talk. It's bad talk, too. Yeah. Just like the show. See, we can't be outpaced. Wait a second. Wait a second. This is what Hurley Burley is. Yeah. What did you think Hurley really was? Uh, what the fuck was?

A Western from 1950. No, it's just, it's, I honestly thought it was some sort of like period piece or something. No, it's just a bunch of dudes in Hollywood, like doing Coke talking about ladies, as I understand. Yeah, and like, they're all drugged out. Like, that's the big things. They're all kind of stone. Uh, oh. Oh, God damn it.

I was thinking of topsy-turvy, the movie. That's a very difficult. I did it again. Dude, you might want to get checked out. Yeah, no kidding. Here we go. Round three.

Game Masters Clue. A better late than never horror sequel that nobody wanted released 23 years after the iconic original exchanges

the original Eric Siska. An American Werewolf in Paris? It is not an American Royal in Paris. It exchanged the original's promising

young cast for a bunch of nobodies and pushes the OG title to the subtitle just to be edgy. So it's a horror sequel, it's 23 years. The original had it a great, promising young cast, and this one had nobody in it. So it sounds like it's something colon the original title. Exactly. That's the thing about that. We might have to move out of number four.

Okay, here we go, Tribune Trivia. Aside from archive footage of the first film, Amy Irving is the only actress and character to return for the sequel. So how about that, Amy Irving fans? Amy Irving, huh? Okay. That's difficult. Oh, whoa, oh, where's the brace handbook?

Andrew Juppin. Finally, the rage carry two. It is the rage carry two before big points. Love that. Dang. Love that. Yeah, man. I'm fucking racking my brain

Amy Irving horror movie What are we doing? Oh yeah Star 2 is Jason London And the star of Carrie The Rage 2 is Emily Burgle If you'll believe that Oh really

Oh I will They're going to movies for a second And now Hey great funny thing about The Rage Carrie 2 One I think it's totally an episode I rented it years and years and years ago Zachary Ty Bryant

Yes he's involved. He gets like a fucking like harpoon to the dick or something in that movie. Or something happens to his genitalia in that movie. It seems like we're at a house party and Carrie's not having a good time there. Yep. No, she's. Yeah. Instead of prom, I believe it's like a house party where this other girl is humiliated. Here we go. Ladies and gentlemen.

Round four. Bonus points here. It's a movie I've never heard of so everything is double. Okay. Game Master's Clue A nerdy teen gets advice For his grandpa on how to win the girl of his dreams His next door neighbor who was The titular star of a WB show in the 1990s Grandpa's advice

Camp out in her front law Until she agrees to go on a date with him Oh yeah This almost sounds like your favorite movie Chris Not Angus A nerdy teen gets an advice to his grandpa How to Win the Girl's Dreams his next-door neighbor who was the titular star

of a 90s WB show. Graham's advice camp out on her lawn until she agrees to go on a date with him. This is the 90s. Yeah, this is the 97. I'll give you that even a year here. I remember the cover of this is like right in my mind. I feel like the tribute

the trivia will help, but I think we should move on to the unless anyone has it. I got nothing. Tribute trivia. This film gets its name from a Beatles song. Oh, Eric, Andrew Drupin. Eight days a week.

Wow. Eight days a week with Carrie Russell for eight large points, my friend. Carrie Russell, yes. I love it. As long as Chris isn't getting points. Have you seen that movie or you just kind of had that going? No, that was like a video store cover memory for some reason. I mean, if you see the cover, you completely understand why.

That sounds like an episode of nerd, desperate enough. for a lady that he just creepily sits outside her house. And the trailer, I mean, Carrie Russell's probably like 19 and it's like, look at this girl. Look at this girl. You got to plant your flag in her yard. Who plays the grandfather? That's a great guy.

I'll look it up. But that is the VHS trailer game. Congratulations to everyone who play. Thank you. Thanks, Steve. Thank you. No longer is zero. I'll take it.

Hey, totally, dude. Every point matters. I don't remember who was the grandfather though I don't remember that Pulling it up This is strictly a I remembered the cover answer Not Peter Falk is it That would really be sad

Father There's Nick There's a lot of fathers here You notice he doesn't even know folks Sad man Phil is that him Is it I just yeah I got nothing for grandpa No one has listed his grandpa

Okay All right That's too bad That sucked. Thank you. So this blast from the past, huh? Yeah, blast from past. It's, you know, I love it.

It opens just like LA Confidential. Accentuate the positive. Just kicking in with all the like showing of the old, like old tiny stuff. This time it's like, you know, atom bomb testing and stuff like that. Yeah, atomic panic things of that nature. And I got to say the amount of peri-combe. mo you are you are you are choked with in this movie yeah like i get it he likes old-timey music let's move the movie right along the thing is it's like it's this is a fine premise for a movie but it

just fumbles it's it's just not funny is the problem you know what i mean this is a fine premise for like a sci-fi thriller yeah a goofy romantic comedy like this guy has serious like fucking mental and emotional problems Christopher Walken should be jailed you know Sissy Spacic will be trying to fucking kill Christopher Walken they try to do this thing where like

oh she's like sort of becoming an alcoholic or whatever but that comes to nothing serious you know just like real alcoholism it's fine it's a total joke it's fine it's fine you know this could have been something I think as even a rom-com it just needs to be 30 minutes short exactly it has to be 90 minutes

on the dot and that's it. The original sin of this movie is when they go down in the bomb shelter that we don't just cut to 30 years later. The fact that we keep cutting in in every we watch this kid grow up. We watch Joey Slotnik grow up.

Steve, we got these sets and we're going to get all the money we can out of them. We built this bunker to look like mid-century modern an underground bunker for this atomic war. We were supposed to have still waiting for it folks we built this bunker

yes we start on a party you know sometimes people have like a paint party like come over paint my house they decided to have an exposition party come over and just tell us what the movie's gonna do no shit right I love this guy who's just like drinking and Christopher walking and Sissy Spacex house and he's like I guess he's telling the new guy in the neighborhood

like what's going on and he's like so you see the house we're out right now the guy's fucking crazy like he's just like giving it like oh yeah he's an inventor he's a lunatic don't mention communists here okay yeah he'll take your throat right out if you say commies in front of him he'll just take you right out i believe this mustachiate guy is the dude from cliffhanger um the heavy in cliffhanger yeah one of the heavies yes yes uh and chris walkins entertaining everyone telling this joke about a duck a duck goes into a drugstore by lip gloss dude it's another thing where he's talking about like

anthropomorphic animals just like the mice two mice go to a drugstore wait hold on I messed that up and what does the duck say but put it on my bill two mice and a duck 35 years

underground all dead because it's two mice and a duck they don't live that long where you go on tonight Adam somewhere exotic like the living room we're trapped out here. I'll tell you what's rad about this bunker dude. They're fucking living on the set of Dogville

in this beginning of the movie. It's like we got walls but like there's no fucking ceilings to anything. There's something really like sad about going to the yard room. Yeah, the yard room is kind of great. I mean like and the thing of it is when they they play

too much of Sissy SpaceX who is a great actress absolutely. She needs something to do. They make her like sad and stuff. That makes it so much worse. To make this a comedy, she needs to be like a flighty dumb mom that's always like, I made marshmallows squares or something like having her have an inner life where she wants out is so sad.

Steve, I am sorry to bring this up, but of course, this was 99. Mothers were not allowed to talk in movies. This is not, they did not allow this. Like, you can be a little alcoholic, like, that's the whole joke. Literally the whole joke is she's an alcoholic. That's it. Period. I don't know if that's reflected in the 90s.

This is just a bad script. Sure, yeah. But, you know, I would obviously be an alcoholic in this situation, but I mean, there's a real, there's a real chance of a family annihilation here. And the movie doesn't bother to sniff that out. And that's what's kind of weird. This movie's too innocent for its own good. I'm an alcoholic in this current situation there. My God, what would it be? I mean, but that I'd be afraid, you know, we say that she likes the drinking sherry. Like, how much should walk and buy for 35 years? I mean, like to ask. Are they making Pruno down? there like what's going on? No, no, no, no. They're stacked, dude. This is 1962. They literally, they go down into the bunker at the start of the Cuban missile crisis. And back then, there's no such thing as alcoholism. So you know that he was fucking stacked to the gills. I was just normal thing. And yeah. During the height of the pandemic, like I would go to the liquor store and I would walk out with a literal

a duffel bag like I was fucking Tom Seismore and heat and just carry the this thing across the street. Steve, they would go and get me a box from the back room. Exactly. Oh, here comes box guy again. Somebody goes set them up. I had nowhere to go. I had a shed at the time that I put stuff in. It was, there was

a beer shed going on. It was sad time. So I can't imagine, I don't know, a little bit of drinking sherry for 35 years. I don't know. And by the way, all you, at least you know, not to paint the pandemic in a rosy picture, but at least we could watch TV,

film strips of the honeymooners. Dude, and I got to tell you a nice detail here for a fucking total loser like me is when he starts at the first time, they're watching the honeymooners and yeah, it's just like some little 16 print. Good show by the way.

Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no, no. Not at all. But what's cool for me and literally only me starts it up. Good looking print. He's got this little like mirror device so they can watch it on a fake screen, but the text is all reversed, but it's the honeymooners. so it doesn't matter. And as this opening, the opening half hour of this movie

before you see Brendan Fraser at all, every time they cut back to watching the honeymooners, the print looks worse. It's like scratched and it's dirty. Just from like the continued use and I thought that was such a cool detail because it's like, yeah, while you're stocked for 35 years of whiskey and cooking sherry,

you're not stocked for 35 years of various film entertainment. That's true. I did not spot that. That is a cool detail. and you know Christopher Walkins is like smoking pipes and shit in that room. Oh yeah. Oh, yep, definitely. Pipe tobacco is one of the main things he asks for. That's like

top of the list. And you know, it is too bad that they didn't have other things to watch. All they did was like learn German perfectly and French and probably read all the books of the Western canon. Another thing that kind of annoys me is like they paint Walk him as like

this, it's just a blanket genius. Yeah. When it's like, yeah, he's like a sciencey guy. of some type, that doesn't translate to like, you can easily and swiftly, like, learn all these languages. You know, like, he's just too much of, like, a Renaissance man.

It's kind of weird. And I mean, it gives Brendan Fraser what he always gets in these fish out of water movies. Right. Which is superpowers for no reason. Because like, I'm sorry, Link, you thawed a caveman from the Ice Age, and he

happens to be alive. His bones are made of nothing. He's not Well, he's not super strong. He's not running around. He's dying immediately from the oxygen. This is very much Encino Man as well. But also, the same thing could work here. Like the muscle fatigue of having living in three rooms for 35 years.

I could imagine. He's not going to be this big old hunky man. Oh, wait. Again, they like cover that up with like, he takes dance lessons all the time. Christopher Walkins like kind of teaching him how to box in one scene or whatever. They had to cut out the scenes where you see the track. he built for them to run and get daily fucking exercise. I mean, like, that's what, I mean, like, none of it makes that, like, if you were actually

piping in oxygen, where's the clean oxygen coming from? If you think it's a nuclear, but I mean, it's ridiculous. There's a line later in the film that it was, it was something like near the sewer, so I imagine it didn't smell very well down there. So that's another thing, man, you're down in this bunker. It's you, at some point, like, you know, she has the baby in the bunker. So it's like, you're raising an infant at one point. like I'm sorry this is family annihilation dude all the stress plus it smells like a sewer line

and again it's it's coming from cissy space deck who we do see like I think it's one of the times uh something something where uh we're watching the honeymoon is like this show just gets better and better and she goes into her room and screams and we cut to black i'm like that's not funny you know what it's actually chilling it's a real heartbreaking thing is like there's no there's no dialogue it's just Walken's laughing at it as if it's brand new. Yes. And she just looks like she wants everyone

in the bunker to suffocate and die. And then, and only when Waukin turns to her to be like, funny, right? She like, smile. And as soon as he looks back to the television, she just goes cold again. And I'm like, that, in that,

those moments where Sissy SpaceX being a real actor in this movie, that's the movie I want. I want her to be like, it's not fucking funny anymore that he's pretending to be a man from space. I mean, you have in the bedroom already. It's already

exists. She should freak out and like sabotage all the yacht batteries that run this place. Like we're all going to hell tonight. Well, because I mean the thing, we should set it up. So basically they're having this party. Uh-oh, Cuban missile crisis is happening. Walkin sends everybody home.

Right. One year before a blast that made history. Mm-hmm. When he's kicking everybody out, first of all, I love the William Houtkins guy that is filmed running through the neighborhood and like gets to the party and he's like, oh, Christopher Walken, you got to turn on the TV. JFK's giving it to Crucev. And they're like, oh, wow. And like they're all watching it. And so he sends everybody home. You catch the number of people leaving this house.

There's like 35 people walking out. This was an enormous event. it's huge but I like this you know what I like it as a reason to kick people out of your house this is personally

I want to excuse me I have to take a shit that's thing is now I'm just going to leave the fucking like whenever whatever Biden's like babbling at the brewery about Earth Rider

I'm going to leave that on my TV and be like oh well you heard what he said I'm like everybody's got to go home I'm sorry you're like Bibby Bobby Bubba Burr like yeah as the president said we have to go it's also nuts like what are the odds that on the eve of the start of the Cuban Missile Crisis

there's this plane that lands on their house like what it lands it crashes yeah but like this is final destination by yeah this is a dumb detail it is all those party goers are now going to be haunted by the specter of death because and murdered because here's what it is right this is the the way more grounded not completely ridiculously stupid reason for them to think that the bomb went off, right? Because that's the whole thing. This plane crashes on their house and there's an explosion and Christopher Walken's like, oh, no, it happened. And like he locks them

in for 35 years and that's what it is. Here's the actual way you do this. They're so nervous about what JFK said on the television. He's kicking everybody home and, uh-oh. Sissy Space Act left something on in the kitchen. There was a lit cigarette. Boom, gas explosion.

The house blow. It's a way more grounded kind of calamity than, oh, on top of the Cuban Missile crisis happening. This fighter jet just falls out of the sky. Which is why yeah. It's fantastic. It's too fantastical on top of a fantastical idea. And they also

pack in here. It's like, oh, I left the radio. I'll go get it in a second. Oh no. Now I don't have a radio. I'm like, fuck dude. No, you're bringing the radio. That's the first thing you grab. Any kind of entertainment thing. And again, Tom Seismore with the wist, with the lyre.

You know what I mean? Like, sweating as he walks across. waddles across the parkway. That was me. That would be me here, too. Where you going, Steve? A hockey practice? Or robbing a bank? Just drinking. Got it.

But yeah, so like this guy, like we just cut to this dude in a fighter jet and he's like, oh, hey, Tower. I think I might be having some problems with this jet, if you can believe that right now. Control, actually, the movie cannot be 90 minutes. It has to be two hours. Would you like to cut to three different scenes of me getting fucked in the air before I crash land?

Would you like to do that? What if I eject over a civilian population? Yeah, what is the back and forth there he has? Go to the ocean. Well, the guy says, like, oh, like, you hear the guy in the command tower and everyone he's like, can you make the ocean? And I had the subtitles out. I swear the guy says yes. And then, like, he just injects and the plane goes flying.

I think this is a poorly written movie. No, but I mean, because this happens a couple of times where I think, like, the movie expects you to go along with it. I think he's being sarcastic. Do you know what I mean? I could totally reach the ocean. I don't know, because there's another moment where, like, the moment when Alicia Silverstone is driving Adam for the first time. And, like, she's like, oh, I'll take it to the holiday in for a baseball card or whatever. And then in the middle of it, she's like, you're a wacky dude.

and she starts driving really erratically and you don't know why and it's like I guess it's because she's afraid of it but it's never telegraphed properly you're completely right these things happen in this movie and you're like why is this character acting in this way

you're absolutely correct dude about that other thing it's I don't remember what the line is but like he says something that could like be interpreted as creepy or I'm sure it is creepy because he's a weird caveman boy scout this movie but like so yeah she does get creeped out by it

and then start speeding because I was like, how stupid is this that like whatever it was four years after Clueless there's another movie where she's like bad at driving but then I realized

like she is purposely speeding but you're completely right the telegraphing of that is a total failure. And I think that's what's happening whatever is happening here is the same problem. It's like we don't know how to telegraph

what things mean. So yeah, he just explodes and she has the baby almost immediately. And again like just a quick, maybe we'd have like one the first night or something and then 35 years later but no we're watching but every couple of years sure but and keep in mind christopher walkins like i could deliver it myself or whatever but now we're also in a world where thank god no medical problem has ever occurred whatsoever yeah and you probably don't have any teeth left in your head

at this point unless you got really good teeth which god bless that's a good call yeah and this kid never got, this kid never got braces. He comes out like really fucking weird looking. You're totally right. Like at least for the adults maybe something about like, I had us prefabricated dentures just in case. Just knock your teeth out. I put these

in. Well also you have to imagine that like from what we know of fucking Christopher Walken, he's a crank. He's a absolutely crazy person. So he comes out, the fact that the kid comes out squeaky clean like doesn't register to me. Because you know he's been, been

bombarded for 30 years of like, well, we're living under Castro's America now, of course. Right. Yes. Yes. He's crazy. He should be like a gun-happy psycho who spent the last fucking 35 years masturbating to his mother or father. Prepare to come out and destroy the communist world that has happened to.

He comes out like Rambo. Like that's what he would be doing. This would be a funny comedic premise because then he'd be like, he'd see the modern world and be like, fuck, I love communism. Yeah, yeah, it's fantastic. McDonald's everywhere. What if we drove out of our way to make fun of trans people real quick

and basically called them mutants? What if we did that? We'll do that instead. Okay, that's good. Right, because that's when eventually 35 years is up. Christopher Walken uses the back lift. It's convenient that the first exit was destroyed,

but there's another one. And we, by the, I'm sorry, when that happens, it's the morning of And, like, Sissy SpaceX, they're all asleep. And then the door opens, like, absolutely. This should not catch anyone by surprise. Dude, no, you are standing there 10. 9.

Hey, it's been 35 fucking years. I do like the montage of the everyone like, like their property gets sold. And we're building this like malt shop, mom's malt shop. You know, when we're checking in through the years, it gets shittier and shittier. Eventually, it's a gutter bar. And I think that. that's all very funny, right? But, like, this is how you save us all of that

Adam fucking growing up. You have, like, one scene, and it's like, somebody, the cap on the scene is like, and then we'll have to wonder what's up there. And the movie, I mean, the movie does actually do this. There's a fake shot of, like, we're rising up and we go through the floor, and this is how we're introduced to the mom's malt shop kind of thing.

But all you need to do, you get an exterior on that malt shop, baby, and you have a little animated sequence where it's sped up shit, and it's like, Malt shop. Whoops. Now it's the bar. Now it's a fucking shittier bar. Now it's a place where homeless people, you know what I mean? I mean, it drives you crazy because this is like the worst advice you would get from like the 17 script writing books that came out in the 90s in the late 80s. With the worst idea is that like everything that happens in the first 30 minutes

to 45 minutes sets up everything in the back half. Like there's no air to breathe. There's nothing that just happens by chance. Everything is just fucking like calculating the rest of the movie and like it makes it boring it makes it like easy to predict as well you're just like oh my god he likes baseball card i wonder if they're going to be worth something oh wait he's a magical millionaire yes oh yay it is convenient in that way but also like you're trying to make an easy breezy rom-com it's a problem to have your love interest introduced 41 minutes insane uh by the way so the guy who works at the mall shop is joey slottick anyone else have a I obviously is from Twister

he was the funny guy on the single guy which I watched every episode of Oh sure I'm I I noticed his bravery on the Coming on the shores of Boston Public Of course oh yes I watched I watched a lot of Boston public And I believe Chris

Doesn't his character like go down for sleeping with a student Yes I think so yes Eventually he's like a nerdy guy And then there's like a sexy student by the way, here's Joey Slottnick's Wikipedia page. The photo is going to make everybody laugh. Oh, no. I love it. Who's this guy?

Steve Wozni. It's him. It's Steve Wozniak because he played him in Pirates of Silicon Valley. Oh, God. That's bad casting. It's horrible casting. I will say, I think he's funny in this movie. I think he's a He's needed. Yes, he's like a saving grace.

It's like finally some comedy. Yeah, these are where the fucking jokes are at Mom's Malt Shop. Man, the fucking embossed public Chai McBride is so disappointed when he finds out about that. Yes. Because he's the fucking principal, right? He's the principal, man. Is that streaming anywhere?

I don't know. It should be, man. Chey McBride was fucking awesome on that show. Well, it looks like he was in plane last year. I did not see. Oh, yes, he was. He was. Oh, my God.

That movie, we never, I mean, we never really talked about. But, like, that has the craziest 90s, like, kickback cast ever. Tony Goldwin's in that. Ben vote I forget his fucking It's Ben B-O-G-T He's the main

Italian guy from house guest Okay Oh sure But you see the guy's face You know him He's on the wire too Paul Ben Victor Yeah that's that's

Oh that guy who's like a He's like a substitute For old what's his name there Oh man Lord almighty The crazy dude from diehard Who's a crazy Magga guy. Yes. He's like a fake Robert Davy this Paul Ben Victor guy. Yes, yes. But on Law & Order like a hundred thousand times. Oh, of course. You'd have to do.

But yeah, so we're watching these things unfold. We're watching a bunch of kids. One of the kids, the last kid is the lead from the bye bye man who is also in what do you call it there? The Mormon show on HBO. Big love. Yes. He was the lead boy on that. that show. So there you go. Hmm. You're saying that's the guy who's Adam when he's like speaking German or whatever? Yes, and he's like dancing around. Okay. And I mean like I don't understand

why Adam is, I mean, I guess that's the character, but like he's so squeaky and happy. Like wouldn't you be horrifically depressed and or like, I don't know, like a weird sex offender at this point? Like you've never never even left the house, never like, you can't even jack off on your own home? You have no idea of social

graces, yeah. It would be you'd be a walking nightmare. Well, yeah, do you even know how to jerk off? Did Christopher Walker think that was needed? No, he doesn't, because at the end of the movie is only when he's finally telling this 35-year-old man how a woman is inseminated.

You're saying he's never ejaculated his entire life. Maybe a wet dream or two, for sure. No, no, he'd be having them on the weekly. Oh, yeah, definitely, yeah. I mean, I would put out there because we never see the bathroom situation in the bunker. Like, what's the showerhead situation looking like?

Is that detachable? That could be fun. Oh, he's like rubbing his genitals with it. You're figuring shit out. You're like, well, the shower is the only place where my two parents aren't up my ass to my four hours. I mean, it's like, Adam, we recycle that water. Why are their little fish type of things?

Oh, God. And then Sissy SpaceX is like, I don't want to wash any more crusty sheets. So he should be in there as long as it needs to be. I am so tired of hard sheets. Well, the filtration works, right? The filtration works all day long. Good.

The water is another question. But then again, I'm sure there's answers for all these fallout shelters. I'm sure they were very thorough back in the day. I think it's all magic. I think everything in here is mad. Like, oh, it just worked out. Chris, I think there was one line about well water. There is something about well water.

There's also a moment where he's catching a fish. Did anybody else notice that? Because he's got this big pool. Like you see the little like baby fish at first. And then there's just a scene where he's like dinner. And he's got this like handheld net. And he just gets his big old bass in or whatever. Yeah, you're like farm fished it.

Like yeah. Yeah. He's breathing his own fish. Yeah. I mean, we're talking about all these things we wish Sissy Spaceik did in this movie. But honestly, off camera, she definitely stopped a dog tooth from happening in this place. sure she averted it Hawken was definitely marching towards that end

and she just barely got him to stop with the honeymoon she just laughed along to the honeymoon is enough so that he fucking wouldn't think like that so finally his like 35th birthday comes door's going to open and Wauken goes up

first and this is the first of a couple of times we're kind of referencing but it's just ripping off back to the future like walking comes up wearing a radiation suit and it's the exact same gag as Marty it's the same fucking thing he might as well said his name was darth raider from the planet fall yes exactly and so he he comes up he scares the shit out of joey slotnik who now is like a pseudo like mansen wannabe guy he's got a bad spiral tattoo on his forehead and he's talking about how he doesn't believe in god and he's just waiting

the end, et cetera, et cetera, which, you know. Oh, you guys, you guys didn't get it? Oh, no, he's, he came back from the future to warn us all about, uh, uh, uh, a, uh, true detective night country. Uh, that's what the little circle comes from. He's just like, no, it's not that good. It's really, it's, it's fine in parts, but it's mostly not that good. I only saw the first two episodes, the shit the better already. Uh, I'm, I'm going to disagree with you there. The third episode, I think it should pretty bad. I, I'll see it. I'm, uh, a lot of people like it. So, Joy being wrong over there

I have very happy with that but yeah so he walks out yes and like so now Joey Slotnick becomes like an acolyte of his or something he's just so terrible I mean like you would just be like oh it's a guy in a suit I guess there's weird but it just came out of the ground after he said like show me a sign

or some shit and leave my elevator alone and now he's putting that up as a quote from a you know an otherworldly being in his mind right yeah so walking you know goes outside and this is like you're supposed to be this big genius and you know that you know under your you know what you're assuming has happened is like a nuclear holocaust and all this stuff he goes outside

and he's like what happened to my yard and i'm like the fuck did you think happened you think a bomb went off dude but we also here it's just like oh my god because we have like rap music oh oh rat music and a bum oh no and there's like some junkyard dogs and chain link fences up and it's like we're in a you know an urban area and it's like oh no the world ended type of shit oh yeah I mean Cypress Hill plays in all the scariest places like the mall

restaurants yeah some guy with a water gun shoots at him at some point like he's like he's got that's a weird thing he's very weird the car and the hydraulics that he's he just shoots at him I mean like this movie I would love to know what this movie thinks

about 90 the actual 90s L.A. You know what I mean? Like is it is it bad? I know what it is. When sun go down city bad when sun come up city fine. Okay, got it. That's the logic of the film. Pretty much. It's so scary. Oh my God. And then he meets a trans sex worker who is like, hey, you want me to be a boy? I'll be a boy. I'll be a girl. 200 bucks, man. Whatever you want. And then he's like, oh no. I mean like And I know, like, it's obviously much more prevalent now.

But, like, you knew about, like, at least cross-dressing in the 1960s, right? Like, you know what I mean? Like, you would be like, oh, that's just someone who is. I don't know, man. This guy's just barely fucking swallowing the commie threat. I guess so. Yeah, but you know, like, this dude, like, served in World War II. And when they were over in Germany, fucking, like, saw some stage show.

And it was like, wait a minute. That voluptuous woman. You know what I do you know that. I'm telling you, Sissy, Spacic, there are nothing but J. Edgar Hoover's up there. It's like he saw Abe Simpson's, whatever that review was, he got himself wrapped up in, like, that kind of. He knows about cross-dressing and whatever. So, like, that's, that's at least a starting point for this. And not for him to be like, oh, no, a monster. It's a mutant with both pairs of genitals. He even says some species. It's not good. It's tough, dude. It's a rough one for this one.

being, I guess he'd be shocked, no, he wouldn't be shocked by just anyone, but it is the first time he's seeing other people in 35 years, but it is a bad, it's played for a bad joke, for sure. It's played for a bad joke. And then he goes, he goes to the adult bookstore for a

second and then just runs away. Yeah. So like, whatever. What do you think that was? You thought it was would be Faulkner or something? Finally, a place where I can get away from all those shelves full of Berenstain Bears. some just adult books

oh a gang bang does that mean we just get to shoot are we all shooting like a gang oh dude they shoot wait this is this one stars someone called machine let me put it in oh no

leave her alone machine Bukaki I guess I'll give it a spin it just hell you won't believe it they killed a girl and filmed it I just

and he comes back down and I mean like I don't know dude you're breathing comfortably. That's just the way the world is. Let's wait till the morning and see what it looks like. You know what I mean? Like no, but he wanted to do like the recon at night because he thought it would be dangerous. But yep. Yeah. And also like she, she's like fucking had it. Oh yeah. Because what has already happened is like on that night before he has an insane line, which is boy, I wish we could

stay down here longer and this is where she goes behind the door and starts screaming. That's what it is. And I'd be like, lady, just leave it. Like, it's fine. Like, take your 35-year-old fucking ape son and get up there. And just

see what it's like. Your hulking son, just go up there. He will protect you. But so he has, and I mean, Walkin in this movie, like I think Wauken is fine in comedies, but sometimes when you're like, hey, Chris, be funny. like, that's not what you want.

This broad heart attack he has is very unfunny. Is it supposed to be funny, though? Oh, I ache a heart attack. I just thought it was bad. But that's like the worst question to have in a movie like this. Is it supposed to be funny? Thank you, yes. What the fuck?

My question is, when is it going to be funny? I bought a ticket from the director of police a cat. Thank you. When is it getting funny? When is someone getting sucked off? behind a podium. I mean, when he has the heart attack, I'm like wondering, I'm like, oh, well, of course you, because this would have come up in 35 years, you definitely told Sissy Space like how to

treat you if you have a heart. Oh, you didn't? Oh, that's interesting. Oh, okay. So do not resuscitate because he can't. I wish. There's nothing here to do that. That would be great if it was he's sick. She's gearing up the young boy there, Brendan Fraser, to go up to the service, get supplies, and walk and tells them if you find a suitable woman, you know, bring her down. Bring her down here.

I want to watch you breed, son. Breeding a race of Morlocks. Just go out into the town, find a girl, and bring her back home with us. That's the plot of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. Yes, it is. F-Y-I, that's some psycho shit, that musical. That is a terrifying movie.

that is a incredible dare I say stay tuned could we actually do an old musical that might be fun if we were going to do a musical we would have to do that one that one is absolutely the most bizarre thing I've ever seen it's terrifying it's a strange one with amazing dance corps well yeah no there's a lot there's there's better elements to that than this even though that movie is kind of rape oh yeah you can take the kind of right out of there but okay it's very let's underline it let's underline it really quick very underlined there's some sort of weird thing where is it Sissy Space

like herself that's like or is it walking one of them is like and make sure you know when you're looking for this nice girl the club over the head and bring it to our fucking dungeon she's from Pasadena this is Sissy SpaceX is like only nice girls from Pasadena

or something which is right and I don't know what that joke is. I think it's like you got to get a lady from the suburbs and that don't mean further away from L.A. I just don't I don't believe she gives a shit about any of this right She's been wanting to get out of here

For fucking 30 years now Like I don't get why she doesn't just go With you know what I mean She's like she actually does kind of a funny line here Because she's telling him like you know stuff to get And he's writing everything down And she goes liquor store Write that down

Liquor store But it's only like half a joke though Because she doesn't tell him Like if you find a liquor store Here's what I want It's like half of a joke she's had a fucking 30

years to live 30 years to live with a like not a Jack Torrance that didn't erupt and like and you just are now getting free of him you would there's this scene where she goes up and she's scared of Joey Slotnick and his

if you walked up and saw a shark walking around you'd be like okay cool I totally would do it that's cool let's got that's how I was again during the pandemic where I could mostly kind of sort of leave my house and like, you know, go outside in my backyard

or whatever. I would absolutely welcome the shark people. At the late April. At the same time, 35 years living in an institutional prison you maybe are afraid to go out. There's people still not going outside because of COVID to this

day. Oh, absolutely. Remember Tom Hanks had to sleep on the floor at the end of Castaway? Like sometimes you just get used to stuff. Brooks was here. That's 100% true but like of course the movie does nothing to be like she's like that like there's nothing to be like she's attached to the place she hates it the last joke of the movie is on the mother which we'll get to at the very end of the movie but it's it's chilling at the way that

it's played it's it's not this but if it were to happen it's like a sequel set up for a genre hopping sequel that turns into a horror movie exactly but so breton fraser does go out there with a list and he's got like, I think he gets like $3,000 from them like in cash. It's like three grand and then he's got all these like priceless baseball cards with him. This is, he's like walking down, you know, he's got this

moment where he's staring up at the sky and like again, these are things that like in a more serious movie it's kind of interesting, right? Like this is a person literally seeing the real sky for a first time. Yeah. And like the movie does try to like play it for this kind of nice moment

for a second and I was like no no no you've set this up you have told me this is a dumb comedy buy the ticket ride the ride make the movie you said you were going to make like you don't get to have these kinds of moments in this movie but then he sees a female post postal worker look out oh boy yes this is the late great sonia eddie by the way did everybody recognize her yes sir uh rebecca de morne from seinfeld oh right yes the lady works at the homeless shelter or whatever this book's bed in the bathroom Fraser walks down the street, sees this woman who was indeed an African-American

actress and person and says, oh, my stars a Negro. And what a fucking douche-chill moment for this movie? And you just know, in the theater in 1999, like that was fucking hitting it out of the park. That was a grand slam

written joke. I almost think it's a trailer line. It's not of the first trailer, I don't think. I watched the first trailer earlier. includes music I think like even Green Day that is not in the movie

Oh that's unfortunate You get like You get like a trailer voiceover But it's not the guy you all know From the 90s It's just some guy Oh it's not Don La Fontaine It's definitely not

It's some like In a world Someone who lacks any type of gravitas Did it? Oh that sucked It's just yeah It's just this weird Like ass clenching moment

And then he's like Nice to meet you ma'am Yeah And she's like, okay, nice to meet you too. Have a good day. Psycho. It's cute. When he does it, it's cute, okay?

You know, it's supposed to underscore the fish out of water thing and like how times have changed. But, uh, yikes. Remember, Chet Baker's the only good jazz musician. Because I mean, like, again, they went down pre-civil riots act. If you're, yeah, if you're watching just the honeymoon is, you're never going to see a black person on there. That's for sure. Jackie made sure of that No, I don't know, but I mean, you're totally

right, like that's a thing, like, you know, why don't we make sure that the fucking programming in the bunker is a little more we're casting a wider net for entertainment. So, you know what I mean? Chet Baker, Dave Brubbeck, you know,

Elvis Presley, let's name all the people that stole from black culture. Who gave you this Lee Morgan record? Tell me. Tell me that name. Dude, Brendan Fraser goes on to, so he, Adam, by the way, the character's name, of course, Adam gets on a bus. And this is like, one of my biggest pepaves is people just loudly talking on public transportation. And I got to tell you, the people on this Los Angeles bus, man, they are a little too patient with this guy.

There needs to be a lot more screaming. I'd split his lip. Yeah, there's just these like old people just kind of like looking back quietly. Let me tell you something. an old person will sass you on the bus don't worry about it. If an old person sees you on the bus doing something that they consider to be a fool, they will fucking

tell you about it. I'm just happy we got out of here without like a reference to speed honestly. Yeah, this is not, movies not above that I could see it. I remember an older lady, a guy got on the back of a bus once and she just

started screaming, pay your fare, pay your fare! And then he's like comb your hair. comb your hair. Comb your hair. That's cool. I like this. I like that guy. It was a pretty cool dude. She should have calmed her hair before she started mouthing off. Did she comb it?

Did she comb it? Did you, hey, what happened? Nothing happened. It was the Bronx. Everyone just kind of settled in for a long, tense ride. But like, assholes clenched. Handles held. Let's go. Is anybody going to stab anybody? We'll find out. I'll go back to the bunker after seeing that.

I just don't, you know, and don't narc on people when they jump out of the back of the bus It's the same thing You might as well turn around and be like They jumped over the subway turn style Yes Narc on people

Who gives his shit Mind your own business Keep your eyes down Shut up Only robbing from a city That doesn't give a shit About you in the first place But so he finds a grocery store

And he's like Driver stop And he goes to the meat department He's like I need 400 pounds Of whatever of hamburgers and the guys like that's going to be like a thousand dollars like oh my i'm going to run out of money soon and i mean we got to talk about brend fraser a couple things the hair is unsettling i don't know why he has to have black hair in this movie like it just it's not his natural hair it's what's

what's his natural hair it wasn't like dark brown you know what i mean but like this like jet black hair is just i guess we're we're dying walkin's hair and i guess we're trying to desperately make it seem like their father and son and it'd be kind of It would be funny if you start talking like him. Because you wouldn't you? Yes. You would have the mannerisms of the people, the two people you're around all the time like that.

You absolutely. Or you would have the mannerisms of Art Carney. Oh, dude, that would be great. Jeez, can you tell me I got to find the grocery store around here. Did I have some beef patties, please? I need a bunch of beef patties. Hello, Bull. What do you sound like that for a young man?

I don't really know. there is also the line of like oh meat order that big you get delivered to your house oh uh i don't know where i live do you know where i live no there is i like i like this deli guy because that's funny and then he like adam realizes he has to leave to find home or whatever and he goes will you please excuse me and the guy it's a really great this dude not missing a beat he's not leaving any air in between fraser's sentence and his he's just like gladly it's just it's such a great delivery I was howling, honestly, one of the biggest laughs in the movie. He's a five-star character

actor, I don't know who he was. He's been around for forever. He does almost the... He does almost the exact same thing in Beverly Hills Cop 2 when Oh, really? Axel Foley goes to the house that he steals while he's there. He's the foreman he's talking to who he gets to.

Oh, yeah, oh, all right. He's also in cone heads. Stay tuned for us talking about cone heads at some point. W-L-M. But so... He now is lost and he realizes, oh, man, I don't even have enough money to do all the stuff that they said because of Joe Biden's inflation.

You know what I mean? No. So he realizes like, okay, you know, he finds the adult bookstore again. By the way, well, Dishawala's Pretty Babies is playing during this montage. Fuck yeah. Really?

This song? Really? I feel like this was the one. listen, I, I'm fine with Dishwala, but I was like, I did not remember this song at all. I was like, could you play one that I know? I mean, that's fair. I was much more excited for Squirrel Nut Zippers. I'll be honest.

Oh, man, forget about it. When hell came on, I was like, oh, yeah. The ever clear drop was when I clapped in my house. When the Squirrel Nuts Zippers play and they go to that like 40 swing revival club, you should be like, did I go back in time? No, thank you. That's like three years too late at least. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, I was also, because it's like a revival of olden times. But yes, you are correct. It is a little, I guess 1999 is a little late to be going to something like a brown derby knockoff where we're doing swing music. But that, no, but that swing craze, that was firmly a like 97 to 99. Okay. So this is like the death rattle. I don't know. The mask is what, 95? The Cocoa Bondo. No, but that's, but that's, but that's not the same thing as like. when Squirrel Nut Zippers and the Cherry Pop and Daddy's

had Zoot Suit Riot. That shit was later in the 90s. Take it back. Swingers is 96. You're right. The mask is 94. The album that Squirreled as Zippers, hell came out 96. Okay, yeah. So it's it was like a 96 to like, I mean this it's the death rattle. It was

I mean, it wasn't killed by 9-11. It was dead before 9-11. That's sure. It was killed by Y2K with this clock. Yes, I think that's true. True. I think that's probably more likely. It was Y2K that did that great music revival in. But he goes to the wrong. It's another adult book story.

He realizes, oh, man, there's so many of them. I don't know where I'm going to be. He goes up the street. Wouldn't you know if there's a hobby shop that sells baseball cards? And you're like, hey, is there ever going to be a romantic lead in this movie? And here she is 50-ish. I would wager minutes into the movie. I think I clocked it at 41 minutes.

minutes, maybe 42. I paused it when she came on the screen. It's crazy that it takes this long. There's just so much grab ass in this movie. And like, I don't know, for a lot of people, 99, it's only four years off. You're like, I'm going to see the girl from Clueless in a movie. You are

fucking tapping your toe like Sonic the Headshot. Make this movie 95 minutes. Get her in there by minute 30 at the latest. At the very latest. The problem is, is that like, we got more than enough of the walk-in and SpaceX show from the first 30

minutes or so. It's fine, but we keep going back to them and it slows everything down and they frame the action of this. Like, we, it would be great to have him out there for a couple days, like have a night where he watches a fucking sunset and a sunrise. Like, these

things would be interesting. But because you have this framing device that they need their meat and tobacco, like that is the big joke, right? We got to talk about the bunker culture of the 1960s. Don't we all remember it? But it would be more compelling. How about if they just all fucking die in there? And he gets out and he doesn't

have to go back and he's just a pure fish out of water and we're not worried about mom and dad and we're... Like that's kind of what you could do, right? Is like, my parents died and I don't really know. You know what I mean? Like they get locked in there, they suffocate for some reason. My God. What a grim movie. But that's

what I'm saying. This is a, it's a grim idea and that's my first... The conceit of this shoved through the filter of a rom-com is a terrible idea. You know what? I'm with Andrew here. I I think it should have the same opening as Mitzomar. Okay, got it. No, no, listen, he's like a 12-year-old boy down there in the bunker,

and he accidentally locks his mom and dad into, like, the battery room. Oh, nice. He doesn't know how to unlock it, and they suffocate it, die. Oh, it's the battery room, so they're getting electrocuted, and Christopher Walken turns to toast again, into electricity in the movie. Oh, that would be amazing. A little shot of a skeleton face.

So, yeah, Alicia Silverstone here as Eve, so the situation is he goes into the store. and Eve, everyone. Is everyone paying attention? Oh, yes, store proprietor. How much would you give me for this Mickey Mental rookie card? And the dude's clearly ripping him off.

He's looking through the box. There's, of course, all these, like, you know, really rare collectible kind of things, expensive shit. And he's like, how about I give you $500 for the whole thing? And this is where Alicia's character comes in. And she's like, this scumbag's ripping you off. The one card alone in his hand is worth $4.4.000. thousand dollars and it turns into this big thing where he's like yeah you're a fucking stupid

bitch you're fucking fired yeah well i quit no you're fired and then he's like oh adam and eve huh mazel fucking tall yeah i love that line it is good and then like he like she's like oh how do i uh she's trying to get rid of him but like he's like hey could you help me find the holiday in because that's what his mother says if you wind up going there find a holiday in and this is literally what I tell you, the engine of this movie falls out immediately because it should have, it is like, son, go find food, please, we're dying here. Okay, that's what that movie's about. Oh, wait. I like a girl. Oh, wait. And then like, he's going to like use her to get food for a while. And then we're talking about weeks and weeks. And that it's like, and then find me a

girl. That's weeks and weeks. Like, there is no like engine or plot to, like, there's a story, but there's no plot. There's no even courtship here. She's going to help him go out on the town and find someone. It's stilted. No. It doesn't make any sense. It's obvious from the beginning that like these two are going to be

together. Why not just make it a fucking story about them getting to know each other? Because rather than this fucking. We got to have fun pointing out that he knows French and German and he's well, you know, this is kind of like a turn on that idea of

of like the boy's friends with a quote nerdy girl and doesn't see her for the beauty that she is through the whole movie and she's helping him get a prom date or whatever. It's kind of that. He's a little bit of the whole time. He's the nerdy one. He thinks he's beautiful.

He's the nerdy loser and she's the hot shit Freddie Prudence Jr. or whatever. No, but that's what I'm saying. Like he's on one kind of story track but she's on another story track. Yes. And that's why a lot of this movie just feels like it's spinning its wheels the whole time.

Because she's basically, even here, it's like, oh, are they going to have like a fun meet cute and like go get coffee? It's like, will you help me drive to my hotel? And she's like, maybe. And he's like, what if I gave you one of the cards? And she takes it. And this is the scene we talked about where she, you know, gets freaked out by him and like rushes through traffic to get him to the holiday in and basically kicks him out of the car. Yeah. Now, here's my question.

Bellhop's at a holiday inn. I don't know about that. No. Right? Was that part of the swing revival? Yeah, you know what? Maybe in the 90s, I don't remember, but like, I don't think so. I really don't.

I mean, not to knock a holiday in, but like, that's where you're going to, you know, save a couple of shekels. Sure. To fucking be tipping bellhops at a holiday in. Yeah, I don't think that's right now. But there is this bellhop that takes him to the room. And there is, there's kind of a funny joke here where, and again, this is another, the screenplays terribly telegraphing something. But I think that the comment here is the movie is saying because he's like never seen the real son

blah blah blah he doesn't look as aged as he should because the guy's like oh how old are you and he says 35 and the guy says you look 25. Yes. And I think in that you look 25 it's this whole loaded thing of like you're supposed to like put together oh yeah of course he hasn't seen the sun so He doesn't have as much like UV ray damage and whatever else. Like, so of course, you know, and like the movie does an awful job at like telling you that's what the joke is. Anyone else recognize the actor is the bell boy?

Oh, no. He's, he was in, well, the actor's Danny Zorn, unfortunately passed away a while ago. But he was in my boyfriend's back. I think he was one of the main characters. Oh. And apparently was also, he was also an IQ apparently. but I remember my boyfriend's back very well I think he's the lead

Is he really? Oh really? He's the boyfriend or Maybe not but he's in it I just always remember him from that movie How weird that's something I haven't seen in a while It's weird Danny Zorn is a character name In The Born Identity and I don't know why But it just is like get me Danny Zorn

I think he gets murdered by I want to say Brian Cox at some point. Oh, yeah, I'd buy that. It's a fitting tribute. I mean, I think they're calling back when they do first time on the freeway. I think that's a pretty open call back to Clueless.

I think they're doing it knowingly. And like, I mean, honestly, I said this above, I feel like Lucius Silverstone, sure, a nice lady. And I think Clueless is an iconic character and an iconic performance that is up there.

with anything you put in the 90s, like that is Americana, that was it for her. She's never been really good ever again, I don't think. I agree. But she is great. She's kind of a one-hit wonder in that way. Incredible, including. Incredible, yes.

Once in a generation performance, but like, I don't think there's anything else really. I mean, what about her performance as Barbara Wilson and Batman and Robin? It's a totally thankless. Suit me up, Uncle Alfred. I don't want you to die. do my

Uncle Alford Do my tits and ass look good Could you just let me know? Oh yes my darling Your knockers madam Thank you Thank you Look perfect

You're right She really did Just petered out after that It's a shame Because like you said Clueless was great And she's not awful here either No but it's just sort of like

She's always kind of a little flat To be you know what I mean Like And like So then then the next day She comes back And she's like Because again

have a read on her character. I mean, it's a poorly written character. She's like, I have to give back this card. What was I thinking accepting? And I can't accept a thousand card just to give somebody a ride. A, yes, you can. Of course you can. Yeah, because the only inner life we ever get of her is like the fact that like her ex-boyfriend Nathan Filion still hanging around. So she's in demand or whatever. Yeah. There's nothing about like that's the you would think like you would want to spend time getting to know her since this is the only other character you've had, and we're trying not to kill Spacicic and Walkin.

But we can't, we can't, because this is really a rom-com about a father and son, and we need all that time for Christopher Warkin's antics. It's a really sad situation. But yeah, so her whole thing is like, oh, I always wind up with shallow hot guys who only want one

thing for me, because I'm also shallow and hot. And so he he in this moment is like, all right, listen, here's the deal. I got a proposition for you. Let's try to have a story in this movie. I'm going to pay you in valuable baseball cards to drive me around in a U-Haul

to pick up supplies on this list that I have and put them all in a storage facility. And also, for the next remaining fucking 45 minutes hour of this movie, you're never once going to ask what we're doing? And I'm never once going to tell you what we're doing. And that's another really weird part of this movie. is like, we're never really kind of investigating this guy until

it's the end of the movie. It keeps telling you like, don't think about stuff. Let's turn up the Everclear. Oh, my God. Like, hey, good song. Good song. It was. It's a fine. Boom, boom, boom, do, do. Yeah. I remember liking that band

back in the 90s, but hearing it in this context as like, oh, brother. It just doesn't make sense. Like, I love Sparkle and Fade Era Everclear, the unbelievable record. But, like, this, I'm just like, it's just, like, it's about, like, fantasizing that you can do everything for your loved one. And you're going around buying shit for your crazy parents in the fucking, I'm like, what? Why does this match?

Who thought this match? No one did, dude. It was on rock radio, dude. No one thought shit match. Because, you know what the thing of it is? You never see any of these transactions because now we're listening to Everclear. We're driving around to you hall. We're having a little bit of a montage fund.

It's never like, yes, I need 6,000 socks. and she's like, oh, cool. You know what I mean? Like, what the fuck is going on? It's not even funny. It's not even funny. It's not like you would think he's like, oh, he gets mixed up at the cashier register. Something goes wrong.

It's just like, hi, I'm purchasing goods. Hello. Cut to the next scene of purchasing goods. I don't know, man. If you're just like a dude with a U-Haul truck and you're buying all this stuff, I know we're talking pre-9-11, of course, but I still feel you're on a list of some kind. because especially when it's like, oh, I got to buy

a pallet of pipe tobacco. What is this guy getting up to? Is he friends with Terry Nichols? We got to look into this guy. He also buys what's the fertilizer situation? Also, the storage unit, what the fuck is that? You're going to put all your pipe tobacco. You're going to put the hamburgers in there.

Bring shit down to the fucking bunker but he's storing it all. And he's also doing, well, he doesn't know where the bunker is at this point area. Oh, right. He also buys like, my apologies. 12 to 15 yacht batteries. I'm like, what That's what powers the electricity and Walken's Nightmare House.

Sure, but someone is like, I don't know if you could buy those in bulk, dude. You got to talk about that. I'll tell you what they're, when he goes to buy what, like the 500 packs of Sudafed, they're going to be like, excuse me, pardon me, we have a little thing called meth in this country. Well, I mean, that's probably, that's interesting though, right? Because like, you know what's not on the shopping list, Chris? modern medicine. Yeah. Oh yeah. I guess it's all like you're chewing you know, Waka root and like that's healing you

or something. That's you're, you're, now you're on to something, Chris. There should be a scene where he goes into a pharmacy and he's like, I need a gross of cocaine. They're like, what, you know, what's like an old timey, whatever? And they're like, that was discontinued three decades ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't get the big pills of morphine anymore. Let me get some, let me get some lead paint, thank you so much, about a palette of that. Do you have any like bulk

packages of DDT? I really got to pick up some DDT. Do you still do Ordelon bunting to go? Because I was really hoping to give a couple of those to go. Around here we're introduced to Dave Foley doing gay face as

the friend Troy. Oh yes, that's right. Dave Foley is Troy, the gay best friend. I will say I remembered this being much more cartoonish than it actually is. It's restrained in a way. It's it could be way worse. It's you know, it's a good thought here. You don't have

a character. Can't make much crazy. You know? You just don't give him anything to play and he can't play anything up. I just meant more, I misremembered this performance as more of a fete loud, stereotypical

gay best friend kind of role. And more of a Scott Thompson situation. And Dave Foley actually got the rest of the hair dye that they were using for Brendan Fraser. Dude, this is rough. It is. I don't know what. It's a bad haircut in general,

but also like jet black hair. I just don't get why do they both need jet black hair? But he facilitates some, you know, of these fish out of water jokes of like, oh, I designed websites. It's like, what the fuck is that? Well, that's the funny part. It's like, that's a great scene, right?

Is when she's like, I design websites. And like he leaves her a moment. And she, I think Alicia Silverstone's like, oh, he's just on his computer. He's like, you have a computer in your house and he gets up and runs, but we don't see the rest of it. No, why would you want to see that? You get back to Christopher Walker being like,

Sissy SpaceX, I'll cut your throat if you try and leave. I got that already, dude. Like, I know that story. Yeah, unfortunately, we keep checking in on them. They should be a framing device. That's it. Start and end. This is also, we should say it's the 90s.

in American cinema. This is Dave Foley's just tell me what you want me to fuck phase. He was getting railroaded by a nasty divorce. You can hear all about it on his WTF.

But like he was just taking roles in movies which is why he also re-teams with Brendan Fraser for fucking Monkey Bone. Oh, I worry about that. A better movie,

by the way. Holy God, is that a better movie compared to this. It's a long time for me in Monkey Bone, but I am over the moon to hear it, Chris.

I can't wait to check out your favorite movie. it is my favorite i forgot i should have said my favorite movie monkey bone it's it's it's it's clear up the charts uh as always on the listener request month so who knows hey maybe this is the year but here's here's something about this part of the movie so brett and fraser he says i'll do this give me two weeks you know and i'll give you i'll pay you a thousand dollars a week right that's what and like she's like oh cool i have a job now and i can take advantage of this guy but i also like him and he's cute or whatever they're going around they're buying all this stuff

At what point, Brennan Fraser, do you stop and be like, wait a second, this world isn't populated by mutants? I could just, I could stop buying in bulk and find my fucking family

and just bring them upstairs during the daytime. Like that is the number one thing you should be worried about. I need to find, no matter what I need to find my family, I should stop buying thousands of pounds of hamburger because the world is livable.

I can smell the fucking ocean. And you're totally right. And here's how you do it, dude. The first fucking Costco stop that they have. Yes. He's in there and he's looking around and it's like the jolly butcher slicing some ribs for a customer. There's a woman helping a friendly child try on a shirt, you know, over in the shirt

because you're buying clothes at Costco too. That's weird. But that's happening. Someone's given out free samples and laughing about it. And he has that realization. Like, wait a second. This is all totally fine. And we can stop the shopping spree.

Yes. And just the movie becomes, I got to find my family, which is something. Exactly. And it just, it makes so much less sense that there's never, there's actually never a scene where he realizes that his father was full of shit. You know what I mean? He's, like, he tells his father at the end that he's full of shit. He's like, sorry, dad.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'd be like, oh, wait, I wasted half my life listening to my father's insane rambling. Yep, you are fucking mad at that dude, absolutely. And that's a thing that never happened. in this movie. It's crazy. But again, it's because you're making a fun comedy. But this is, that's just out of bounds, dude. He should be screaming at this dude.

Like, just give it one scene. Maybe he does remember where they lived. And he goes back and he tells them off. Yeah. And then like, that's it. And maybe they're too scared to go up and that's why he builds this dream house that is a replica of a mid-century modern 1962

house. What a hell for Sissy Space Act? Hey, guess what? You can leave. Leave and live. in the exact same fucking place again. So in this scene also, just to quickly point out, Adam gets very horny because Alicia Silverstone's Eve is like, oh, I'm a psychic. And Dave Foley's

like, knows that it's full of shit. And he's like, oh, that's cool. Why don't you do a psychic reading on our friend here? And she's doing like, oh, let me read your palm. And she's like stroking his palm. And he's like licking his lips. Like he's looking at a bucket of chicken or something. Like really getting it. to win. Oh, I came.

Yeah, exactly. First time for everything. He also, Dave Foley can just say, oh, go. He has to be the gay best friend. He has to be the gay best friend. It's like, well, Miss Dionne Warwick. Why don't you have a good shot at it? I'm sassy. That's kind of a funny line. Sure, sure.

The Dionne Warwick Psychic hotline, dude, was huge. And I haven't gone down for fraud yet. Thank you. The Golden Days, huh? Oh, sure, dude. She made a lot of money off that. I don't know if she lost it all or what. We got to start our own psychic hotline.

I've got a feeling about you folks, listen. Oh, yeah. So, like, she just starts bullshitting and she's like, oh, you're from Alaska and blah, blah, blah. And, like, yeah, because he thinks she's pretty and he's really getting turned on right now. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, right, right, yeah. Juno, not the other one. Yeah, cool. Right, there's the trivia off with Dave Foley about Alaska facts.

Okay. I'm excited. I'm really excited and loving this movie right now. Do you guys catch what's going on here? What? Alicia Silverstone, they're all sipping champagne cocktails here. Lisa Silverstone sitting watching this Alaska off happening. She's sitting in front of a tower of Blockbuster Video Tics.

Yes, that's right. Massive stack of Blockbuster tape cases. Last from the past right there. Yeah, I was having my own blast for the past. Looking at those tape cases, dude. Isn't it right after this one we get Sissy Spacic coming up Yeah, just about

She's got a cigarette And a fucking drink She's wasted And she comes up And she sees the cult of Joey Slotnick That has come up And like Again like

We've already hammered it But like of course she'd be like Oh other people Of course I'm here Of course I'm going to stay here What are you doing You're chanting at nothing I'm here for that

Let's do that I love that but no she's just it's like supposed to be a laugh she looks she peers over her shoulder sees them all being weird and is like just goes right back down

takes a sip of her martini and goes back down Jesus Christ so Dave Foley as his role as gay best friend gives Adam a glow up here they go shopping

no actual shopping montage or I'm too sexy trying on closed montage which I guess is fine because I'm pretty sure that's an Encino man but this is like they just come home with shopping bags

he also comes home with roller blades earlier in the film Christopher Walkin in vents rollerblades down in the bunker or whatever because whatever but oh yeah because he's like I had to make your roller skates bigger because of your huge fucking caveman feet

newly designed rollerblades I made for me and he asks Eve if he could skate around her block and Foley's got a good retort of like, well, Eve, can he skate around your block? Yeah, that's not too bad. So they go to like a skate park on the beach or whatever

and there's, Brendan Fraser's doing some hardcore rollerblading. Sure, he's having fun. And, you know, we're doing things that the movie likes to like throw out, but it's not going to do an absolute goddamn thing with, like he rollerblades past a bunch of homeless people. Never asked Alicia Silverstone about that. It's just like, hmm, homeless

people. I'll nod at them and keep going. Are those mutants? Exactly. Are those mutants? Yep. Yep. Like that's what you set up movie, right? Like theoretically then he sees those people. He should be fucking saying something like that. But it's like he looks and sort of like politely nods and that's all the movie cares to do with that. You know there has to be a gun in the bunker. He's going up there up top side. He's shooting homeless people thinking they're mutants. I mean, there's a movie in there, dude, probably produced by canon films, but there's a movie in there. Oh, yeah. Proma. The John Millius blast from the past would be fantastic.

Oh, that would be something else, wouldn't it? It'd be the furor's bunker where... He's got all the place. He's just polishing a rifle the whole 35 years. That's all he's doing. So this is where he sees the ocean for the first time. And again, like, it's a thing... Yep.

From a different movie. You know, like if, you know, the little boy from Room, you see him doing that in the ocean, that's in that movie. That's fine for that movie in that tone. but this is like he's having this like actual moment and it's Brendan Fraser who's a legitimate actor so like in my view anyway

this scene if you stuck it in some sort of like serious more seriously toned movie this is all legit right here and then it cuts back to like Alicia Silverstone and Dave Foley being like isn't he a fucking idiot and you're like what do you want me to feel about any of this? But it's also played without dialogue either

it's just like they're just like there's music or whatever bullshit song is on. They're just, like, smiling at each other. I'm like, what, yeah, what am I supposed to feel here? Tell me. It's supposed to be a warm, like, because they change it to a warmer, like, yeah, there's definitely supposed to be a contemplative thing when he sees the homelessness.

He sees the hot girls rollerblading. And then he sees the ocean. And like, you're supposed to definitely, like, and they shoot Alicia Silverstone and Dave Holy as they're like, oh, he's a real person. Oh, that's, oh, that's interesting. Oh, yeah, he's touching water for the first time. He might, he might be a real boy now. and I mean like I would have much preferred

the fucking the Jimmy Doherty taking care of business flipping around like a dolphin Jim Bullishy of course knows how to do it the right way of course no but it's like this big religious it's like awakenings it's like really fuck yes no exactly

yes it's fucking weird again I don't know how the movie wants me to feel moment to moment when things like that happen I definitely know how I was feeling watching Dave Foley teach Brendan Fraser had to do YMCA. That's a fun little moment. Hump dancing, little hump dancing.

Oh, yeah. Between friends. Just, but for who? Like, it's too much. It's just so lame at this point. YMCA, that's like, come on. Yep. Yep.

It's, don't worry, Steve. It's stupid. Again with that control. Yeah, no, no, no. We need another 10 minutes. You know, we can't, we cannot do 110 minutes. No, no, no, no. It's got to be closer.

Good for us. We're moving on to the. the date segment where he's trying to pick up ladies at the Squirrel Nuts Zippers song Emporium here. Oh, club 40s, dude. Where there's a dude, I mean, this sucks, right? Like, this sucks. There's a dude pretending to be Humphrey Bogart, like, emceeing the evening.

It's rough. I mean, look, what are we watching? Pulp fucking fiction? Get out of here, Humphrey Bogart. Am I in the world of Brazil? I know. What the fuck? Why don't have a lookalike?

I kept expecting the mask to show up at the club, Cocoa Bongo. You know what I mean? Like that's that's where he goes, right? Yep. But this is like Dave Foley and Alicia Silverstone are taking him out to meet babes here or whatever. And this is

there's a couple of moments in this movie where I'm like there's definitely some deleted scenes here. One of which is the all men gay baseball league that's happening. Dave Foley takes him to that. That seems like there was more there. That's gone. And then also we meet this character

that Alicia Silverstone's character clearly has a history with this Sophie woman. Yep. And this is like Sophie scenes deleted. Like there's there had to have been dialogue about like this is what Sophie did that makes Eve hate her yada yada, that boyfriend, that boyfriend, whatever.

That's easy to do, right? It is, but they don't do it. And it's just like, oh, she's just like, oh, you can't hit on that fucking bitch, you know, Sophie or whatever. Like, stay away from that girl, Sophie, she says. freaks out at him. Because they have

a French off for a second. You know what I mean? Like that's fun. Because again, he has superpowers. Not that he would be malnourished both intellectually and physically by being in a fucking dark cave for 35 years with only his mother and father. Yes. Well, yeah. I mean, the whole joke is like actually that stuff made him the perfect man. Yes, exactly. Actually being in the bunker was good. Really. Having your best friends be your parents until you were

35 years old. Indeed, your only friends was a perfect idea. And that should happen to everybody. It should happen to everyone. That three years where you were kind of sure you were a vampire, it made you grow being stuck down there. It was great. So Dave Foley

and Lisa Silverstone spy some ladies or a lady or whatever like across the way and they're like, oh, all right, go over and say hi to this girl. Ask her if she wants to dance or whatever. And remember to lie to her because that's a part of dating. You got to lie. Everybody lies, they say,

you know, and she goes up. And this is kind of funny. It is. I seem to have lost my congressional medal of honor. It's a good line, dude. Even though, like, the line he has is kind of like a boy scouty sort of. Yeah, it's cornball, and it can be charming in the right

application. And also, it's a 1990-something bread and Fraser, so there you go. Yeah. I mean, this is the whale rolling up on them. That's what you're not. Oh, my God. That's a that's another alternative ending for living 35 years in a cavern dances up to Sophie

whips out a meatball sandwich and he fucking goes for it starts jerking off to internet pornography or I think that guy was probably buying discs he seemed like a DVD man in that movie Yeah he likes physical physical media

A man of culture Then he ascends right Is that how that works? I never saw that stupid asses Somebody fucking turned the lights on and he got abducted by aliens at the end of that movie That's like, I think what you're supposed to believe. Anyway, so this is a big, it's the late 90s, man.

I mean, the 90s in general, we got to have a dance number in our comedy. Here we go. Speaking of fucking Cuban Pete, he's going off. He's dancing with two chicks at the same dad. Oh, wow. And it's only because, guys, he's only this talented and charming and lucky with the ladies because his dad gave him, his dad and mom gave him dance lessons every day for his entire life. They gave him the dance lessons. They gave him the German and French lessons. It was, it was great being down there for his personality. It was a fantastic move. And they should do it. We should do it more often. You know what? We got a lot of parents who are listening these days. Build a bunker and throw your kids down there. It's a great idea. I fully support this. Chris, I'm hearing way too many things about people's kids. Take that shit underground, pal. You know what? Fresh air overrated. Not enough people are saying it. You know what? More for me then, Chris. Yeah. Did you? Did you?

true. But because of this smooth operator dancing that he's doing, Alicia Silverstone realizes Eve is like, oh, wait a second. Am I getting horny right now? And I'm also getting jealous for some reason. Uh-oh. Oh, no, I like this guy. And like the song finishes and he's like, oh, excuse me, ladies, I'm going to go talk to my friend or whatever. These girls are so horny because of the dancing, they're going to just go home with each other. We just got to fuck something really quickly That guy was that sexy doing those dance moves

Tell me what you want to fuck Yeah exactly So this is like he tries to go and talk to Alicia Who uh-oh Ex-boyfriend Nathan Filion is at the bar And they're doing shots together And he's gonna go over and see what's going on And here's Cliff

Nathan Filion very baby-faced Nathan Filion Sure yeah still very attractive Yeah and it's like he's being a douchebag and Brendan Fraser kind of doesn't understand and then it's like we're going to get in a fight. But again, thankfully, Christopher walking, taught him boxing every day.

He's doing like rapid, like quick patches, just like knocking this dude in the nose. And like, it's kind of like, it's almost funny the way that it's happening, but it's not because he's just like, it looks like he has a cold at the end of it. I think it is a little funny towards the end. When Nathan Philean is like,

well, okay, good night or whatever. he starts playing along that he's leaving. I think it has moments here. It's pretty funny, but like, I wish there was, like, maybe a little bit of a bloody nose or something. I mean, that's, like, picky. But it is funny, because what it is is, is he keeps trying to sucker punch Brendan Fraser,

and Fraser gets him every time. And the way that, like, the funny part about it is the way that Phileon passes it off is like, oh, I just got punched the face. Oh, yeah, I probably should go. Yeah, that sounds about right. But it's just, again, I don't know. I've spent, like, a hundred and however, many minutes at this point, not laughing

at this movie? I'm not in the mood. No. Sorry, Nathan Philly. So he goes home with Sophie and Alicia Silverstone's like, oh my God, but he didn't because he left and he's back again. Aside really quickly because basically, Alicia Silverstone goes home first. She like storms

out and then like Dave Foley comes home and he's like, yeah, I didn't, he did not leave without, with me. He left with, you know, and as he's discussing this, he goes into their bookroom and he picks up Charles Bukowski's world war all the time and I'm like

what does this guy read Charles Vikowski for? Anyway, that was bizarre for me. I mean, he's getting ready for the end, I assume. I guess so. You're reading that shit. I don't know. I mean, what's funny about this is this is where like I think Dave Foley is actually a terrible friend in this scene. Because he's, they're talking and

Alicia Silverstone is clearly very jealous. And as we said, Horny, she's got some hornacy issues. and she says something and Dave Foley's like well you're not saying love and like it's very clear

he's like you're in love with the stupid boy who we met and like no she's not like first of all no she's not she's in lust maybe maybe maybe she's starting to have feelings but like of course he just immediately feeds into it

and he's just like you know what no it's love get out get out there and I would like to imagine it's because he wants the house to himself I was just gonna say dude I think he wants that house because at some point he just becomes the roommate I don't think that was always

the case in the movie I don't think so but at some point he is clearly just living there and yeah and then like she decides to rush off to Sophie's to I don't know do a murder suicide or it's like there's a horror living in your building

Rossi like maybe that situation we're going to try out maybe some carry she'll get some pig blood on the way, you know what I mean? There's a whore in this. There's a horror in this building and I would like to be that whore instead. But no, Brendan Fraser

just rolls up in a cab and he's like, oh, hey, how's it going? And she freaks out, because he fucking bangs on the window or whatever. And she runs out of the car and freaks out and twists her ankle or falls over. She scrapes her knee. We got a big sexy... These pants are destroyed,

right? Okay, I'm going to rip them open even more to get at this scrape knee that you have. Very importantly, before that happens, he brings her in, and he's like, oh, hey, Dave Foley. And Dave Foley just looks at him. He's like, you know, Adam, she's not looking for a boy. She's looking for a man. And like, he has a moment. And then for the rest of the movie, Brendan Fraser stops artificially lightening his voice.

And he just starts talking with his normal deep voice. It's like, no, is that true? I didn't even notice. He just starts to, oh, hey, how's it going? As opposed to be like, wow, gee Willikris, this is fun. It's like, can I sit you down here? And it's like a sexy guy And I'm like, why were you doing?

Who are you doing that for if you could turn it off? But I'm sorry, Dave Foley, again, you're wrong. She clearly is very attracted to the boy. Yeah, that's true. It's the boy she's into. Like, I don't know about that. The man was doing that sexy dancing with the swing music. Oh, I see. Okay.

Maybe. You know, sure. Because that's when she realizes, oh, I'm horny for this guy. Right. It's a man child at the end of the day. Yes. So he's like singing Perry Como's The Street where you live to her And they start kind of like making out for a little bit

And then she's like Have you ever had sex before? And he's like no And while we're on the subject This is a great time for me to spill the beans About my weird upbringing in a bomb shelter And she's like Oh I think it's time for you to leave

Which is one thing But then she tries to have him committed, which is like such an insane overreach. He's completely harmless. There's child protective services for adults, I guess. I was confused about that myself. I don't know what legal

is ridiculous to this. They're immediately there being like, you're going away now. Yeah, actually our whole week is open. Yeah, do you want us to come at 8 a.m.? Or 9 a.m.? We can go. We literally, we have no appointment. at all this week. I don't know how this happened. Oh, you need someone dragged away against their will.

Oh, yeah, no, I'll be right over. Oh, he says he grew up in a bomb shelter. Well, yeah, he should spend the rest of his life at a fucking mental institution. Got it. Got it. Did you guys notice when he's spilling the beans about, you know, my dad was a genius and he built the shelter or whatever?

He is kind of saying this, it reminded, I don't think it's a reference to this necessarily because many people, projects could have had this, but it made me think of Appie and the Manhattan Project because he says that Christopher Walken, like, utilized compartmentalization while building the bunker because he says it's all this shit about like, oh yeah, he never told everybody what he was working on, but he had these people do this little thing for him and these other people did this other little thing for him. And he brought it all together and built the bunker.

And I was like, compartmentalization, Opie. Yes. Now I have become Cramden bringa of death. Now I've become cramden driver of bus But yeah So she's gonna fucking throw up And she just says I think it's time to call a cab And this is kind of there's a funny audio joke here He's like oh good night Eve And she's like yeah good night close the door

And you hear like multiple locks immediately clicking I guess so I guess you would be this freaked out I don't know like it just seems like No I don't buy it. any of this. When you know about this guy, like, he's totally harmless. He's a really nice guy. Blah, blah, blah. Maybe he's a little bit off because he believes this, but it's just really bizarre.

No. This is where we go. It just makes no sense. Like, even as like, somebody would be like, well, it's supposed to be funny. It's not funny. It's not funny. The decision's not funny. There's a good Joey Slotnick joke that I think is funny in response to this when he finds the bunker again. And he finds who, I guess he's calling himself an archerbishop. now of this new religion. And Brandon Fraser says, I think I'm being chased by a psychiatrist and he says, it happens. That is very funny. But like all of this is just pointless. The scene where

this social services, when he realizes that this person is coming to like take him somewhere, it turns into a completely different movie. And Brandon Fraser is turning on, he's turning on the dramatic chops and he's like, if I could just go home, I promise. I won't bother any of you ever again

and I'm like, when am I going to be laughing again? Is there an ETA on the yucks? What is going on? I don't get it. I don't understand. It's such a bizarre. And then they watch him get chased by this other guy. And then like, I think while he's being chased like Dave Foley is like, hey, that's

fucked up. And he explains it to her and says, wait a second. I take it back. I'm like, what the fuck even happened? I mean, yeah, you don't. know. And so he, whatever, Adam gets it in their supply van and speeds off and runs away. So Eve and Troy, by the way, is the name of Dave Foley's character, are like going around trying to look for him. They go to this hotel room that he was at at the holiday in and like somehow

just get right in. And, you know, he's like, oh, they find the stock certificates. Like, oh, yeah, look at all these stock certificates that like Chris Walken, we do see, you know, give him at the beginning of the movie. And it's like IBM. IBM. AT&T, all these big companies. Yeah. And then like Dave Foley just has this line that I think is like straight out of a kids of the hall sketch where he's just like, Eve, do you think maybe his homes underneath the dirty bookstore in the valley? Yes. It's a great delivery. And they go there and like there's this weird part where they're the porn bookstore like stomping on the floor to find the secret passage. That's something. I loved what's going on here because, like, this is, it must have been a functioning adult bookstore slash tape shop or whatever,

because I don't know why you would, like, stock a set this way, knowing what would happen to you, but, like, they had to blur out all the porno tape titles because they're, like, those are always incredibly graphic as well. And to preserve the PG-13 ready, like, you watch the scene, it's just blurred out everywhere. All, like, it's a huge tape store. I mean, and there's all these blurred out covers.

title itself sounds like a porna right blast from the past it's true yeah blast in your ass volume yeah ass blasters yes um but yeah like he calls there's a thing it's pointless she never even gets this message he calls her leaves a message like i wish all your dreams come true blah blah blah what a sweetie and they're just driving down the block and she spies him like they're driving away like dave folly's pulling away there's a weird thing where teens are making fun of dave folly's car which is kind of funny. And, like, he, as they're stopped at this light, these kids are like, shitty car, asshole.

And then she sees him walking. And she's like, Adam and just gets out of the car. And they just start making out. And I was like, all right, well, that fucking answering machine message was for nothing. And cool, that's the end of the movie, right? And then we just go downstairs and tell mom and dad that everything's okay. No, this is when Alicia Silverstone is it a voiceover boots? And I'm like, what the fuck just happened?

she starts narrating the end of the movie I can't believe this the 11th hour fucking voiceover narration it's like I was watching you know our favorite WLM, Dune 1984 where we're fucking fast forwarding to the end right right or

like Blade Runner 1982 and it's just like I never know and now I understood why he was in that bunker we're running out of time get Alicia in the voiceover booth explain it to her we have to we have to We have to have her explain to the audience why he's building a replica of his bunker out on a farmland.

Oh, God damn it. I wanted the Alicia Silverstone who manages the bookstore in Traverse City, Michigan. I didn't want the star of Clueless. Who did this? Another classic David Lynch casting bungle. For more on that, due 1984 is our Patreon episode this month. That's right. But yes, so she starts saying like, oh,

he's such a great guy he loves his parents and I got to meet them and they were super nice and like we have the scene of her meeting the parents but it's really stilted because it's like

surrounded by voiceover it's very bizarre this feels so this feels so cobbled together like we're desperately trying to keep this under two hours I imagine there's a there's a cut out there

well probably burned rightfully that was 220 or something but I just love that the decision was not let's have a smooth comprehensive ending and ditch all the crap

at the beginning with the bunker. No, no, no. That first useless half hour has to stand and then the rest will do the best weekend. It's crazy. I like how it ends with us just like narrowly avoiding Christopher Walken shooting

Alicia Silverstone in the head because they're like her last name is Eve Rusticoff. And she's like, you see the fucking blood come in his eyes. Is that Russian? No, dad. It's Ukrainian. It's fine. Ukraine. No, put the rifle away. Dad, the rifle? Doesn't need to be at the dinner table. But the craziest thing is like, so they go down and like mom's like,

oh, let me buy you something. You're such a sweet girl. And Bret and Fray's like, listen, guys, I can't tell you why. You need to set the locks again for two more months. And then and then I'll come and get you. And they're like, well, if you say so, Jr., again, you are begging for a murder suicide. You're begging. Absolutely. And it's going to be Sissy SpaceX pulling the trigger and Christopher Washington. Absolutely. And it's going to be like, I thought I could do it, but I know 35 years we accomplished it. But the prospect of another two months I couldn't take it. I killed.

This is the plan. I think it's like, and then maybe my parents will kill each other and we'll be rid of them forever. Well, I mean, it is. It's such a dice roll because like, yes, this system that this insane person, your father built, worked for 35 years. Why are you trying to think it's going to work anything past that. Chris Walken is, he's, when they bring her down, he is resetting the locks for an additional 10 years. Yes. No, he's got to be shot. No, he's got to be

shot. I'm sorry. No, maybe it's, we go end of Mystic River. They go down, he goes down at the end. He goes down two months later and it's just to see SpaceX. And he's like, oh, what happened to dad? She's like, you know what? Son, I just wish you worked a little faster.

Just wish you could have got here just a little faster. And like, pats him on the shoulder, like, you don't know what happened to him. Yep. Oh, man, that would be chilling and great. But, yeah, so they stuff these two old fogies back down to this bunker so he can go cash in all of these stock certificates and everything, become a millionaire, a multi-millionaire overnight. And Alicia's got this whole thing in her fucking half-ass narration that's like, oh, yeah, well, you know, the fastest way to get anything. done is you just say money is not a problem or whatever and it's like they've had this house built in just two months and blah blah blah she's just like telling you all this and you're like

man where are those credits and it's like oh we had we we realized that we needed to bring them back slowly which i don't understand why you know what i mean like so they've already been above ground they've been above ground they know what's going on why do you need to put them in this nightmarish 1960s house again the last place i would want to be is it a place that it looked exactly at the place I was there in prison for 35 years. And the movie is like really planting a seed for like a terrifying thing

that it's never going to address because there's no blast from the past two of course. Certainly not. The whole thing and this is kind of more interesting than the movie itself but like Christopher Walken, his character doesn't believe anything that Brendan Fraser's telling

him and he's like, because he's like, dad you know, the Soviet Union collapsed. The Cold War ended without a shot being fired, blah, blah, blah. And he's like that's just the kind of thing that a crazy Soviet would want dispersed throughout all the information. You know what I mean?

He's still wired to think that it's all a fucking scam and it's just a big Soviet plot. Because the last shot of the movie is him doing, he's measuring the length of the yard by like his stride as if to say I'm building another bunker in this

backyard. Honestly, not a bad idea. I idea, at least right now, in 2024. Yeah, blast from the past to, and you're having a baby in there. You're forcing to have a, you know, the grandchild's got to be born. You know, you were born this

way? Why not your child be born this way in a terrible way? The worst possible way, far from a hospital. I agree. Tradition is important. It's blast from the past, too, and it's Nancy Pelosi who's still terrified of Russians for some reason. You're a Chinese agent,

is what you are. And it needs to be blast from the past to premiering on Shudder. You know what I mean? But the last line of the movie is, don't tell your mother. And it's like, so this woman has to live in ignorance as to what the real world is?

Like, I just don't, it is a chilling. The way that they treat this character, this mother character is so bizarre. Yeah. But, you know, it gets more chilling than that, Steve. You undersold it. Because we end the movie with the Randy Newman song.

Yes, Randy Newman's political science was just like, we're gonna drop a bomb on each other start dropping bombs, baby. I mean, it's not that, but that's... It's pretty much that.

It's his big Cold War. Yeah, so that was a nice kick in the ear right at the end of this movie. But that is it. That is Blast for the past. A really ill-directed written film. I go around the horn here for some final thoughts.

yeah um you know you could do worse it has some charming little moments of you know it's cute enough but the more we talked about it the more i soured on it a bit not really a recommend from me but uh you could do worse yeah i'll i'll hop in and say yeah i'm i'm kind of with you like it's i don't know it's a it's a light recommend in the way of like if you think Brendan Fraser is a charming actor like he's also doing that here so you know punch the card for your Fraser filmography I guess but I wouldn't

say there's literally any other reason to watch it whatsoever because it's a movie with a terrifying creepy premise it's just played for goofs and the goofs aren't even making you laugh Chris Cabin I mean no I don't think it gets

much worse I pretty fucking bad it's just like totally incompetent at every edge like there's just nothing going on here like the reason I have I gave a two stars and all of that is for Brendan Fraser

that is every inch of that is for Brendan Fraser because as I don't even think he's good in this but that's because the character is so terribly written as either a comic instrument or as like an actual character either version sucks and doesn't work so like

I just don't know what good I'm supposed to get from this other than like Oh, people I like are on screen. Like, to me, it just nothing about it works, and it tries everything. I would say you could get worse with this, and this director did with the same

star, because Dudley do right. Well, yeah. Oh, I'm sure. I would have to rewatch it. I would have to give it a second view. We should do a double feature of that in the fucking bollwinkle, Rocky Bullwinkle movie Jason Alexander. Steve Sadek, final thought of the program.

Oh. There we go. Steve had to leave as he's taking his shit. He's doing that with his mouth, folks. Okay, no conspiracy theories. That's not what I did at the hospital. No, I didn't care. I watched me a couple years ago,

and I didn't remember disliking it as much as I did last night. I just, something about it is so rudderless, so aimless, and, like, just fumbles this pretty okay, kooky premise. Like, you could just imagine that there's, like, like she works for a job wherein like maybe his 1960s factoids make sense

and like wow he's like a trivia master or something you know what I mean like there's just a world in which there's a cute version of this that is a little less sweaty and a little less creepy and number one is just making sissy SpaceX just okay with it

you know what I mean like just turn that button where she's just okay with it yeah it's not a recommend for me no well that is going to do it folks for this episode. I'm Blast from the past. As always, if you want more We Hate Movies, check out that Patreon. Patreon.com slash We Hate Movies with this month.

Yes, indeedly do. The We Love Movies episode all about David Lynch's Dune from 1984. That episode's a lot of fun. I think we might be opening some eyes for folks with that movie, which I think is very cool.

Also, big reminder, of course, right? Because when this comes out, you still have a few more days. If you're downloading this, On the day it comes out, you got two more days, I believe, to catch the replay of our Flash show. Head over to moment.com slash we hate movies. That was a lot of fun. You're going to want to get on that. It's a full video episode of us doing our episode on The Flash live. And it is a lot of fun. There's even an after party where we hang out and answered questions.

You can't ask them now, but you can't happen. Right. But you can check that out as well. That's right. Moment.co slash We Hate Movies. Now also on the Patreon this month folks, once in a lifetime coming back, Chris Cabin. What are we talking about? We're talking about the walls are watching

a just a showcase for one, Brandscombe Richards. Richmond. Richmond. A star you've never heard of. A bit actor I guess in Batman Return. That's about it. Oh, and Renegade, of course. Of course, and Renegade.

the show I haven't seen. But yes, we're talking about that. We're talking about foreclosures in America. We're talking about a lot of fun stuff. Yeah, talking about some pseudo-hider in the house kind of stuff, but not really. So that was a hell of a lot of fun.

Eric Sisko, who we talk about the Gleap Glouclery this month? We're going way back to the Mosaisley Cantina finally to talk about Cape and Mufftack. This is a dynamic duo here, a little guy and a big guy. and we'll be getting into

their whole history on the show. You're going to want to get double orders of that, Eric, because I go right through the mufftack. Yeah, two Cabin Muff Kets for the Mufftack. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't. Okay. Yeah, no.

I know Hoblo Star Wars. Yeah, for the table. Thank you. And then on A.D., Steve, what cartoon are we talking about? We are talking about a Kathy Valentine's Day special from, I believe, the early 80s I want to say

we're going deep on the YouTube you can fire it on YouTube kind of a scenario but I think we found this a couple weeks ago it looks bone-chilling it fits Valentine's Day we need to talk about Kathy the comic script character that we haven't recorded that yet but I'm going to guarantee

that's a barn burner sorry oh yeah all this and more including ad-free we hate movies episodes if you subscribe at the $8 level or up Up also gets you Melro 210, of course, a very popular show about Melrose Place and Beverly Hills, 902.1. And we have our Star Trek show, The Nexus, as usual. Also, come see us live on the road. We'll be in Atlanta, Georgia on April 25th of this year, 2024. We'll be in Houston, Texas, May 14th. We'll be in Austin, Texas, May 15th. Tickets and more information, all available on WHMpodcast.com slash tour.

and because this is coming out the day after we've officially announced it we do know what those titles are going to be for those shows right so in Atlanta which one we got in Atlanta is that's gamer gamer in Atlanta Robocop 2 in Houston Texas

and then a we love movies live episode on one of the all-time greats from Dust Till Dawn Robert Rodriguez's own QT's foot fetish on Fold display, that's going to be a ton of fun. So those are the movies that we're talking about

on the first leg of our 2024 tour. Now, Steve Sadek, next Tuesday, the show continues. We have another We Hate Movies episode, locked and loaded. What will we be talking about then? We'll be talking about a Notting Hill, another romantic comedy. Just in time for Valentine's Day, guys.

Right. This is Jules. We're getting into Julia. I feel like I've seen this movie once, but maybe just once. I've never seen it. So excited. for me. Oh, yeah, you're going to love it. It's a bunch of British people, Eric. Oh, don't get me started. It's now going to play fucking find the doorknob.

Awesome. Awesome. I, for one, think this is a wacky but totally charming movie, so it'll be enjoyable to talk about because, of course, it's Jules, but it's also Eric, very nervous Hugh Grant. So you got that going for you. Oh, he's doing

plenty of that. So until Until next week, when we're chatting Notting Hill. I've been Andrew Juven. Steven Siddick. Eric Siska. Chris Cabin. Take it easy.

Thank you. Thank you.