We Hate Movies - S14 Ep728: Indecent Proposal

Episode Date: March 12, 2024

“Ooo, yeah, throw a plate at me, Demi Moore!” - Eric On this week’s episode, the 2024 Listener Request Month continues with a convo all about the absolute trash-fest that is, Indecent Proposal! Why don’t we see the Moore/Redford sex scene? Why are we doing that flashback with Woody Harrelson and Demi Moore, using a bad wig and braces respectively, to comically play 19 year-olds? Why are we bothering with the lame, dueling, his & hers VoiceOver tracks? How cowardly were these filmmakers and studio execs who were scared to have Redford play an actual villain? And why didn’t we ever get the Seymour Cassel spin-off film, Shackleford?! PLUS: Using Robert Redford movie titles as sex slang, fun for all!  Indecent Proposal stars Demi Moore, Woody Harrelson, Robert Redford, Seymour Cassel, Oliver Platt, Billy Bob Thornton, Billy Connolly, Danny Zorn, Kevin West, and Rip Taylor as Mr. Langford; directed by Adrian Lyne. This week’s episode is brought to you in part by Rocket Money! Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney dot com slash WHM. That’s RocketMoney dot com slash WHM. RocketMoney dot com slash WHM! This episode is also brought to you by Factor. Head to FACTOR MEALS dot com slash whm50 and use code whm50 to get 50% off. That’s code whm50 at FACTOR MEALS dot com slash whm50 to get 50% off! Be sure to catch us on tour this spring, y’all! We’ll be in Atlanta on 4/25 (Gamer), Houston on 5/14 (Robocop 2), and Austin on 5/15 (From Dusk Till Dawn)! Tickets are on sale now and meet & greets are happening at all shows, so head to our website and pick up your tix today—we wanna see you out there! Make the WHM Merch Store your one-stop shop for all your We Hate Movies merch-related needs! Including new Time Runner, Polish Decoy, ‘Jack Kirby’, and Forrest the Universal Soldier designs!

This week on the program, it was the most incensed I've become while watching a movie in quite a long time. It's indecent proposal. I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Zedek. Eric Siska. Wife buyer, Chris Cabin. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone to we hate movies.

Thank you for tuning in, as always. If you're new to the program and finding us because you love watching movies about fucking around and finding out we're a comedy podcast where we take a movie good, bad or otherwise, and kick it around for a little bit. And this being the second week of our listener request month, we're talking the

abhorrent, indecent proposal from 1993, directed by the king of fucking around and finding out Adrian Line, if you can even believe it. Big guy, the big man, Mr. Dark Waters. Oh, Dark Waters. Dark Waters. A Tracy Let's classic. Yes,

the king. He wrote it? No, no. Tracy lets us in that movie. At the end, I don't know even remember why this happens. It's just him driving around, trying to hit Ben Affleck with his car. I think he's also fucking Anna Diarmus I'm pretty sure he is. Yeah, that sounds right.

A little bit of a little bit of sex triangle there. A little bit. I mean, sex triangle, I thought they closed that. What is this my search history? By the way, Deepwater, I would say that's a better film. Yes. It actually is. Well, I think the biggest question uh because previous live show fatal attraction another piece of shit notch on this guy's

belt much better you i think so too by a humongous measure because like go ahead i'm talking this movie is just it's the first act is interesting you know what i mean it's the trailer it's it's the it's the it's the log line it's what what would you do and then when you do it it just the air goes out of the balloon because everyone's too much of a pussy to make Robert Redford the villain. And he's the villain. And that's it. That's all there is to it. He should be shot with a cannon at the end of the movie. Exactly. That's also, but they just, they don't want to get their hands dirty. Like, Demi Moore is moral from the get-go. It's much

more interesting if she's having, if we see her having fun with Robert Redford, if there is some sense of seduction there. But there isn't. Like, she just is like, I fucking hate you from the beginning, but still fucks him. very least a pie in the face some sort of Marx brothers or three stooges type of ending would have been much appreciated. I'm going full

return to the Jedi. I want Seymour Cassell to lift Robert Redford over its head and throw him down an elevator show. That's what it has to be. Yeah, and Demi Moore should strangle Robert Redford with her chain that she's in. I will take

what is it? What do you take? was it slotford Stackford Shackleford Shackleford Shackleford who is the best character I honestly what I really wanted was for him to take out

Redford in a car accident and also but then get Harrelson too and then it turns out Demi is paying him at the end of it like she actually was funding him got him out from underneath the thumb of fucking John Gage and then see where

Cassell puts his tongue down her throat they drive off into the sunset. Absolutely. Just like the end of faces. It was always you, Shackleford. I know it was. Wasn't Shackleford that they were the dude that like discovered Antarctica or some shit? What was that guy's name? No idea. Quick question. Who recommended this movie for us?

Oh yeah. Let's take a listen to this call here. Is it going? Oh, hi. This is a chariot from Denver. And I'm like to request a decent proposal. if for nothing else I really want to hear someone talk about the wig that Woody Heraldston requires flashback. So I even Googled

it. There's nothing coming up. But it's really bad. Thanks. Incredible. Love you. I think it's good. First of all, it was recording. Job well done there. What was it? Jarrett from Colorado?

It sounded like Jared. Jared or Jared. I'm going to, well, it sounded more Jarrett than Jared. Jer. I'll go with Jair on this one. Jerr. Jay Bear, thank you, Jarbear for your indecent proposal

for us to do indecent proposal. I mean, but the wigs are insane in this movie. All the flashback stuff, like there's that one like, it's towards the end of the movie when they're like at the zoo, it's like the time when love and hats were plentiful where they were both

like they're both just wearing silly hats because like we can't figure out what hairstyle we want to put them in. And we're like 30 years old playing 18, million or whatever. Yeah, we were in love and watching the hippos. It was, it was the best of time. I thought I was watching fucking Penn 15 with the way they got the two of them

dressed up as these like 19 year olds, dude. And the fucking zoo footage is the only time we do one of these garbage flashbacks where it just looks like 8mm home movie footage. And I was like, who was fucking filming them at the zoo? Because it's like, towards the end, it's like, Billy kind of like, and these heepers. And, like, it goes to this 8mm footage. Like, the fuck is happening anymore.

Just to clarify that, Steve, because I think you were kind of talking a little fast. That's comedian Billy Connolly in this movie for no reason. Oh, real. Oh. But let's start where it starts, these bullshit opening credits. And we're doing this his and her voice and over, voiceover durations.

Fuck you. You know you're fucked from the jump when they're competing voiceover. You're like, all right. it's full we're just totally sunk already not only that it starts with this I thought Derek Jarman's blue was about to begin with this it was just blue and then it's slowly we slowly get that flashback and that voiceover it is well oh the opposite of intoxicated and you know from the beginning he tells you right like when I lost when I lost Diane yeah you know and so you know

from the get go there's going to be a separation which I think kind of ruins it I I think, like, if a movie like this has some tension, you should try to save it for when it counts. Well, Chris, by the end of the movie, I was so enraged. I was, like, thinking back to that opening narration, and I was like, I hope he fucking kills her. I hope she gets back to the dock and he fucking kills her.

I mean, I just, I don't know. Like, the problem with this movie, I think, is, they, is this opening narration, this dual narration thing is because the movie, for the most part if it works it needs to be tight on his perspective because then it's actually interesting that we don't see them

have sex. Do you know what I mean? Because that it's about about the tension and the trauma that he's going through. I'm like, oh my God, what did my wife do? But then when we cut back to her living her life, you're like, well then why did we see the sex scene? Because if it's her perspective as well. Do you know what I mean? Perspective matters so much in this movie. Humongously

so. And they didn't show it because it would be interesting. Yeah. Yeah. Like literally, when the movie's about to get interesting when she's like, I don't want to be here, but I'm here for the money and I'm going to fuck you. Like, and he's like, well, you think you're going to like it. The translation of that to an actual possibility at the, in the next scene, like, I need to see what that was.

Yes, Chris, obviously you need to see, did they start with oral? How did it go down? Yes. Every single little thing. Does he use a, I'd like you to crank my hog. I'd like you to just get down there and start cranking that hog. Come on. You know how to do it.

You know how to do it. Come on to meet my buddies, the bad dragons. Here they are. Oh, no. It's kind of a wit-d-der-d-d-d-d-d-t. Oh, you thought it was a box with a pretty dress in it. No, it's a box full of dildoes. It's a box full of dildoes.

Yeah, they're huge dildos, too. Like, a gorilla couldn't even sit on these things. Now, you put your hand in here, and if you scream, I'm going to kill you. Now, gum my jabar. I mean, it's so, it's like, we get this, it's Woody Harrell said on a rainy doc, a very rainy doc, and it's like, oh, how I lost my wife, I can't believe it. And yes, Chris, it would be interesting to not know where this movie might be going. And we just hear this, their ideal, of course shit, there were high school sweethearts and engaged at 19 shut the front of the eyes. Our parents thought this was a mistake. And turns out it was. Yeah. Occasion they're right. Occasion of those parents, they, they, they, they sneak away. past you occasionally. These braces on Demi Moore here, my lord, horrendous. Lafout. I mean, that's

something out of a, you know what it is? You know what it is? It's fucking straight out of a fucking Farley Brothers movie. Thank you. She looks like Ben Stiller, right? Yes, she looks exactly like Ben Stiller, and it was working for me. The bathroom is that way. Because it's kind of a comical

reveal because it's like it's Demi Moore, she's gorgeous fucking 1993 Demi Moore. And she's got her mouth, like her lips are closed and then she goes to smile at Woody and it's like a joke reveal like here's right braces oh yeah it's like the

close up and 40 year old virgin when like he's a when he goes flashback to him as a kid and he's like about to get his first blow job and she's like this is gonna be awesome yes she has all the braces in her mouth and like I think this is the worst wig the one when he's in the car here

because like this thing is about to lift itself up and go for a walk dude this looks like the wig he had the in the fucking Venom movie. Yeah. It's got arms. It's humongous. Tentacles, even.

I love also because this is an erotic thriller from the early 90s. And it's two characters are like splitting the main bill here between Woody and Demi. Yeah. And they now they both have stereotypical sex thriller jobs. Him being the architect and her being the real estate agent. Fucking amazing. It's my favorite part is that the early go. you know, we're just going, we're explaining what we do and how we live and we just have this

great house and it's just the house that love built. And he's like, I was just, I was so obsessed at architecture. And then like, Davey Moore's like laying in his lap and like, finger me while you architect. While you're architecting, please finger me. Did you see what's going on here? Pretty filthy shit, man. He's doing like a charcoal sketch. Sure. Yeah. And he's got the piece of charcoal in his hand. He's doodling and whatnot. And then he takes the, the piece of charcoal. He puts it down. and with his charcoal fingies, he's rubbing these nipples. Oh, yeah, he's getting in there. Yeah, he's rubbing it up there.

It's smearing all over the place. But you can't be licking charcoal off a titty. What are you talking about it? Look, if it's Demi Moore in the 90s, you absolutely can do that. Whatever you want to. If there's toxic waste on there, I'm going to do it. Yes, chalk those nipples up and play some billiards with them. Here's the thing is somebody got him for a Halloween, for a Christmas present,

a sexy edible charcoal. So that's the idea. Yeah. So you can chuckle each other up all you want. A little bit of chocolate in there. It's nice. And you know, but this, I mean, this seat is so silly because, like, she's supposed to be looking at. I'm like, oh, this is my man. He's so passionate

about this second house we're going to make I guess and lose our fucking shirt with. Yes. Yeah. Lose your shirt with, but also like they start with one of these flashbacks. It's like, we didn't really have money. So we just drive around and look at houses and car washes. Yes. She liked architect.

And then we're going to tank our fucking life buying this property to try to build this loser architect's dream home. Well, it's a loser architect's dream home as a marketing tool to be like, look at what a great architect I am. And I don't know that's how architecture works. It's all about the blueprint.

Like if you can't sell somebody in the blueprint, it's not about just showing someone of built house. It's the drawings and it's the model that you make. I feel it's probably less like, look, I built the whole thing. Like, you don't fucking build a house on spec. No, you work for like an actual firm for a while. You get a couple really big clients who want to like be like,

hey, whatever I want to make, you're going to do it. You get a couple of them. You can make your own practice then and that's nice. But you do have to work for a firm for a long time. And like we get no sense of like I would have loved it. This scene where they go to the car wash, they, it's music over most of it. It's her narration. And like I would love to hear what he actually thinks about.

this. This would be, again, an interesting thing. You know what, Chris? What is interesting about this character? He knows a lot about architecture, and I don't even get to hear him talk about it. You get to, I guarantee he's doing he's doing the warm up for the class he teaches later, and he's just telling her, oh, don't be just an ordinary

brick, Demi. Oh, of course. Yeah. Not actually talking about it. I think his architecture lecture there is kind of fine and some of the best stuff he gets to do in the movie. But like, to your point, Chris, put that at the top this because then by the teaching the class part

you can be like oh he's telling them the same thing he told her and you could make like a connection there but I feel like so much of this movie is like relying on that his and hers voiceover and it just sucks it sucks right after that when they're he's like he says something like

well yeah you know we made each other crazy from time to time and then it's like they're about to have this like blow up fight where she's pissed off that he's a slob and like she pulls part of it on abusing him at this point. But then it's a joke. It's all a joke.

It's a sexy prank, Steve. This is psycho shit. I was terrified, and of course, I was also hard, but, you know, it's, I was terrified for sure. Oh, yeah, throw a plate at me, Demi Moore. But no, the whole, uh, the car wash deal is, uh, just like, so, uh, what, it's Saturday night, you want to go look at some car washes or quit? And I's cheap.

And all the movies ain't going to do it. We can look at some car. washes. Yeah, I go look at a building or two. The straddling the line of like, oh, we don't have money yet, oh my God, can you believe this fucking recession? We might have to sell one of our two houses. Well, that's the thing. It's like you don't know at first that they own that house that they're in. I didn't even, at first I didn't even know. I thought it was like a bungalow or something they were renting. But like, you find out and you're like, oh, so they are rich. And like, yeah. My God, Eric, like him being like, oh, let's go. This is actually a post office at Bank of

America bought and turned it to a bank. Isn't it beautiful? Don't you just dream like a big brick when you see a bank in a fancy building? Who needs opera when you could look outside of a building that happens to be closed?

I mean, look, guys, it's stupid. I agree with you, but newsflash millions of Americans in this country are house poor. Don't worry about. Oh, no, of course. Don't fucking worry about. But, I mean, come, like just, oh my God, you're losing the property for this house you're building on spec, I kind of don't care. Oh, of course. No,

that part's dumb. That part's dumb. But I don't fault them for owning their little bungalow here. Oh, no. I don't either. But I wish that if you're going to do that, like, we learn all of this in a big sweep again. It's a big narration. We're dummies more. It's like, well, the recession hit, that son of a bitch, H.W. And, you know, we, I didn't sell a house for six months. And we both lost our jobs eventually. Yeah. And like, and he had to eventually he has to get money from his dad. He has to get five grand from his dad. Because Oliver Platt tells him they're going to

lose everything. Just get ahead of your problem and sell one of these things or do something. Or show me it. I just don't have a lot of sympathy for the double housed. No, I agree. Uh, sorry, just reminded of a, when I was first dating my wife, I accidentally, uh, sometimes you got to watch those high.

Hyperlinks, gang. Oh, what is this? What is this story? No. What is this filth? What is this filth? Did you buy a second house? No, I'm Googling. I was, I was like, it was my turn to figure out what to do for dinner.

We were just starting dating. I have zero money ever. And I started a car wash, dude. They got bending machines. So I find a restaurant and then I sent it back to her. And she's like, oh, great. Do you know what you just sent me? And she sends me the H.

TML string and it has the Google search in it which says cheap dinner I love it says like how about this place that I just happened to find that looks really cool cheap dinner question mark dude Steve I love

your hyper generic Googling such as cheap dinner or when we go on tour and you just Google in cities cool bar exactly you'll find a cool bar that way She's dinner, man. That's humiliating.

You're lucky she fucking stuck around. Let me Google, interesting car wash. We get the misses there. Hold on. Or Google horny billionaire. Oh, hello. Steve, it says in the thing, restaurants that don't necessarily ask you to tip. Could we not do that?

Still less humility than having to use a coupon, man. Which I've done plenty of times, but I'll never do again. You can't be using a coupon on a date, by the way. I mean, I think once you're like pushing 40, it's time to re-evaluate extreme couponing in general. But so, yeah, like the recession hits and like, yes, like Chris says, boom, boom, they both lose their jobs. They have no money coming in. Oliver Platt, who is their friend and lawyer, says they need to come up with 50 large or else they lose everything. And yes, sell this, sell the land that you have that you're building this bullshit.

house on which again like is no I want architects to write in have you ever has anyone broken it big in architecture by taking a chance and building a building you know what I mean like oh I just took a chance and built a 50 story high rise in Manhattan just just on spec hoping someone would like it you know at the end of the day that's sort of like an investment and you're sometimes it doesn't turn out and you're just going to have to move on instead of being like let's gamble our lives away I mean it's either you know you sell the property

and you knock down like the it's just like a skeletal structure that's as far as he gets with the construction before they lose their jobs and whatever or you sell the bungalow and you move into a fucking cheap apartment or you know heaven forbid like a roach motel week to week rates kind of thing

until that place is built but they just they totally fuck themselves and I love this scene where they're really trying to figure out what to do and he's shaving and she's looking at their bills while taking a piss in front of him. You know, come on. There's some couples where it's like, yeah, you know, she'll come in and use the bathroom when I'm brushing my teeth or whatever. That's not going on in this fucking house. I'll tell you right now. But the thing is bringing the male into the situation on top of the urinating while he's shaving. There's too much in this scene. But I would argue it

serves a very similar purpose as the braces. It's doing something for somebody. Not only the pissing. That is definitely doing something for somebody. But also financial humiliation, of course. Oh, totally. Yeah. As far as sex goes, people love that shit. They can't get enough of it. That's what this whole movie is, right? Because Gage is just sort of rubbing it at both of their faces. Oh, yeah. He's an angel. He saves their marriage. Let's let's say. You know what? He comes in and he saves this shit. You're right. They needed him. So they need $50,000. after borrowing the 5K from his father and the woodman wakes up in the middle of the night

and he's like, hey, I have an idea and drags this woman to Vegas at 3 o'clock in the morning. Pish it away at a casino. Dude, I, you know, I thought the whole shit in the Albert Brooks movie there, Lost in America. Oh, I love love to America. Like, it's an amazing movie, right? But like, when she loses all that money,

like, I thought that was the most crazed I would ever get at irresponsible gambling in a motion picture until I saw a decent proposal. Well, yeah, it's like, it's like if you're significant others, like, oh, God, can you decide what we're going to do for dinner and you think and you think you think of like, finally, I got it, we're going to dine and dash.

That's what we're going to do. That's the best idea. Let's go. I don't care where we go. We can do it at a Burger King. Look, I'm just going to Google cheap restaurant. What's also so frustrating about this movie in the gambling scene here where he earns $25,000. $25,000. You could have gone to the bank with that. Yes.

You had half of it and they've given you an extension. That's your talking point. And maybe you want to take, all right, we got 20. Put that away. Tomorrow we'll try the five again and see what happens. Because, I mean, I literally just came back from Vegas. And I won about a grand on, I was doing Texas Holden was doing pretty well. And then, of course, the next day I lost most of it.

I walked away with about 150. You know what I mean? You don't get to leave with it. That's how that's right. As in Lost in America, the great Gary. Shandling? No. No.

What's his name? Oh, the guy who runs the casino. Yeah. Gary Marshall. Yes. In Los of America, the great Gary Marshall is like, it's called gambling. You come to Las Vegas, you gamble. Las Vegas gambling.

And that's what it is. You are gambling and that you will always lose. But you could be the casino. that helps people. You could be the casino that helps Albert Brooks. No, I love that so much. Albert Brooks trying to bargain

getting a refund back. It is one of the biggest moments of a human being debasing themselves on film and it's so incredible. I mean, I was screaming at my TV be like Paul Oliver Platt

right now. You're good. You're so good. And also amazing, good on you. you turned five grand and 25. Incredible luck on your work. God bless those two older black ladies that were that were kissing on your dice. The aunties. The aunties were doing great.

Run in the table there. And that's the thing is you've got to find them. All right. You got a show where do we meet up tomorrow for more gambling? No, we're in this together. I need 50 grand. That's what I love about gambling. You need a woman to gamble with.

Did you do that, Steve? Did you seek out some? A couple of babes have one on each arm while you were gambling. to borrow, you know, for luck. Just to borrow for luck, yes, I did. Okay, good. Well, I Google. I Google cheap. I Google cheap. I googled cheap woman.

Dude, cheap woman, Las Vegas, those are endless search results. It has to be. Two women with three vapes each coming out of their mouths. Yes. Two girls, one cup as well. Uh-huh, absolutely. So the woodman is gambling here. Yes, he's got some good luck charms with the ladies here. He's, what is this, craps?

This is crap. Yes, we're doing craps right now. And so he's doing his thing. And Demi's going around. The other very dangerous thing in Las Vegas is, you know, the shopping, of course. Of course. The boutiques and everything. And she's looking at a dress.

And here comes. Well, first of all, she's filleting chocolate. It's really important. That was insane. The fact that, like, she's grabbing every piece of chocolate off this table. And Robert Redford's like, oh, hello, what do we have here? That looks like a desperate woman. Yes.

It looks like a desperate hot woman. Let me swoop. I mean, I'd never thought I'd see Robert Redford play this much of a scumbag character in the movie. This is the scusiest this guy has ever been. And the movie, I think,

sort of like realizes like, oh shit, our John Gage is Robert Redford. He can't end the movie the way it should end. I just, I think it's just incredible miscasting. Like, I don't like say that often, but like, this is a where part, like, Robert Redford's too warm.

he doesn't do it like he can't do that i i'm not i like robert redford uh he's not my favorite 70s act like you know if you if you have any late name 70s actors that i love there's like five above him you know but i like robert he's in classics and he's an incredible actor yes i actually like him in this when the movie allows him to because the weird thing about him is he's got that mask like face you don't know what's going on i'm serious you know what's going on beneath it So, like, I think Eric and I were both thinking of the Eric Stoltz movie at the same guy. I'm laughing to ourselves. But he's a pretty guy.

That's what you needed in the, you have to do that. Otherwise, it's disgusting, right? And it's stony and you don't know what's going on beneath the eyes. And that's what's creepy about it. When he's like, asking about what you would do for love, it's like, oh, Jesus, what is this, what is this guy's end game? But then when he turns out to be this huge sweetheart at the end, it's dog shit. Yeah. Well, yeah, all this, all this mass stuff that you're,

talking about Steve like I get what you're saying and I agree with that as far as like Redford as an actor but like the movie's not doing that the movie is not the movie never for a second thinks maybe the audience will think the way Steve just thought you know what I mean it's just not that it's just this puppy dog

oh I'm so lonely and sad it's so lonely at the top get fucked you billionaire piece of shit this movie oh sorry I'm sorry first of all she so she's flitting chocolate he's like Sherry, hello, and he walks in. She's putting all the chocolate in a bag.

Loose chocolate, by the way. Goodbye headbag. You're in Vegas. You're the fucking desert. Where do you think that chocolate's going to be? Talk about a gamble. It's not even wrapped. That's crazy.

Oh, yeah, but not even wrap. That's the other thing, Steve. I know this is like a nice, very expensive boutique and whatnot, but you just got loose chocolate out on the table. I don't think so. But real quick on Redford again, like, to your point about like, there's, but yes, there's better like 70s actors, but like, you couldn't have Gene Hackman in this part. No. You have to have someone that a woman would be like, hey, say, two for one special, a million dollars and that.

Well, yeah, because you're not, you're never going to, like, to what Steve was saying, like, if you were going to do that thing, you have to have the moment. Because if it's all, if it's all performance and his confidence comes from wealth, like you have to show a moment where he's actually worried about wealth. Because that would actually show there is a mask there. But you never get to see the mask. Like the mask is on all the time. So it doesn't count as a math. He's just having fun. His life is pure leisure. It's disgusting. Do you think he's kind of based on Trump at all?

I think there's a little bit of that. A blonde real estate dude. Yeah, too charming. I don't know. Supposedly charming and handsome. At the time, though,

in the 80s and 90s, you know, it was like, ooh, that Donald Trump. Yeah. Well, you know what's funny?

No, Chris, Chris, come on. Be real, dude. This country was doing, that you look back at like like we were just we went through we watched all of the nanny the amount

of trump like jokes sucking trump's dick oh my god over the six seasons of that show like an eligible bachelor oh my god oh is don't trump gonna be there oh my panties like that shit i'll give you a million dollars okay stop payment on that check and also stop payment on all the contractors checks too yeah at least john gauge fucking paid up dude now i got the panes don't worry about it, just stop payment, stop payment. Here, put this in my panty drawer. With the casting though, you guys want to know something? Because

as I said before, this was the first and will be the only time I see this movie. And I think it's just like, because he gives up he gives off way more appropriate Adrian line fuck around and find out vibes and he was in one of his movies. If you had asked me

up until before this was selected and then I like looked up all the movies and everything, if you'd ask me before we did the drawing who's the guy that offers the million dollars, I guarantee you I would have said Michael Douglas. I thought this bad memory

in my head of Michael Douglas is the dude that offers Woody and to me a million bucks. And like honestly, that would have been way better because that's a dude who's handsome, but also that's a dude who can play scus. Yeah, he could turn it on the sleeves. You can also see this

as like the other side. Like, he got so much shit for fatal attraction. and like depicting Glenn Close in that way. Like I would see this in a way there is a way here where you can, this is an apology thing. How about the man is the thing that. Yeah. There is something to that.

Except for like, of course, I saw this like in fatal attraction, you get the sense that Michael Douglas is enjoying himself. Of course. Those early scenes of Glenn Close, he's having fun. He's enjoying it. He's getting his dick sucked in an elevator. There is nothing like that here. There is no sense that like Demi Moore might, oh my God, and Woody Harrison flips out about it later, she might be attracted to somebody else. Oh no. Well, the weird thing is, I'm sorry, we went out, we talked over it because it happened. We talked over both sex scenes in the movie. By the way, both sex scenes, Woody Harrelson and Demi Moore. And they're both pretty raunchy. You know what I mean? There's some, the nipple, nipple play. He's doing some ass eating at some point. You see her hand.

clench his penis. Like, you see, and I don't know, because the shot is as such, where I don't think you see their faces, and then it sort of like tilts down, and you see that, so it could be body doubles here. I don't know the fucking lurid production history of this movie, but you see a

hand grasp the shaft of a penis over shorts in this movie. He was thinking about the car wash the entire scene. The beauty of the car was. I mean, you know, there was a sonic drive-thru fast food joint. That was, built out of an old church.

It was great. Oh, those archways. Oh, that's what it should be. It's like, oh, one day I'm going to be able to design McDonald's. I mean, I would believe, by the way, that I like you find that you, everybody's heard the Will and Defoe story. I would believe Woody Harrelson is packing a worldender down there.

Oh, but he's got a hammer. I would buy it. Guaranteed. Forget the fucking machinery, dude. Get that dude to Texas and start drilling some oil. It's a good looking dude, but I mean, like, if you look up, he's fucked everyone in the world. He's dated everyone. Oh, yeah, baby.

Yeah. And it's, it's all good reviews. His, you know what I mean? Did you Google the reviews? I did not. Good. I googled cheap dick, Hollywood. Oh, Woody Harrison.

Hey, that would be more expensive. Are these the same people who find Trump charming? I need to know, because if so, I'm just not going to listen to him anymore. So Redford comes. and he flirts with her. He's like, oh, that dress, you should buy it. And she's like, well, no, I can't. And he's like, well, I could buy it for you. You know, you just, he goes, I've enjoyed watching you. You've earned it. Nice. Wow. Exactly. And this is a creepy, this is a creepy line. It is gross even with Redford saying it with his

steamy eyes. And she's like, well, I'm not for sale, which. Oh, ho. The movie, though, dude, again, does not, it's not shot appropriately. It's not lit appropriately. It's not scored appropriately to have a actual reaction of that's a scumbag thing to say. What the movie is saying is look at handsome Robert Redford offering to buy this, like it's bunk-tastic. Because there have been classical Hollywood, I can't think of him right off bat right now, but like there have been classical like romance movies from Hollywood where

this setup is kind of what happens. But like the thing is that you see the goods of both sides. Like, we never really get the good side of Robert Redford other than the fact that he's rich. So, like, there's no playing. There's no character. I mean, like, I said this in my Larrybock's review. There's no characters here.

Like, these are all just perspectives. There's three major perspectives here, and they're just bouncing between them. Well, Shackleford is quite an interesting character. But again, you just know that he murdered someone. You don't really know much else about the man. So she comes back out after flirted with Redford a little bit.

Harrelson's up $25,000. We go upstairs. This is what we do, which is kind of funny, like, actually very misleading. In the trailer, it's them fucking on the money. They fuck on the $25 grand. They never fuck on the million. But fuck it on the money, dude. Honey, oh, I got all these cummy 20s. What are we going to do with them?

Paper cut, babe. You want one on your nip? Oh, found another one. Oh, find another one. Are we going to wash these Comey 20s? Or we'll just go to Burger King. They'll take them. So the thing with the Comey 20s, a couple of things here. It's a bed full of comies.

It's a waterbed. They don't go upstairs, Steve, because they can't afford to stay in this hotel. They're at some fleabag place where there are waterbeds to fuck on filthy Las Vegas money. My skin was crawling. I got cum and bed. bugs on these 20s. The comies are not my issue. My issue is you are

begging. Fucking on this amount of money begging for a curse. You are just, if God catches you doing this, you're so fucked. You are so gone. Especially doing this when you're only halfway through. You know what I mean? Now you're fucked. I would say the best part

of it is, I mean, it's so disgusting. But then at least you get to listen to Shade's No Ordinary Love that's playing over it. And you're like, this is pretty cool. Oh, what's that? Oh, it's a pile of comies, huh? Oh, my God. Honey, do you have any, do we have any dry 20s for the desk guy?

I don't want to tip them in comies. You see, hon, we're load in. No, you got the hair dry, right? Yeah, just, yeah, get them dry. Just get them a little bit. It's like bound all this money drying all over the place. There should be a scene of them hanging it up with like clothespins.

Like drug money, yeah. Like developing a photo, let the commies drip off a little bit. But they fuck and then sure enough, the next day, wouldn't you know it? He puts all this glimmer in play and all this glimmer in play. Look at Mr. fucking Las Vegas. Oh, yeah, maybe. Glimmer in play.

And that's awesome. 48, they get down to 4,800 bucks and like, we said if we got, we wouldn't go under, we wouldn't leave here with less than five grand. Right. They go to a coffee shop. It's like, what do you want to do? Heads or tails. and, you know, obviously they've got the bug,

so they're just going to fucking get them. But again, you need to, everybody, everybody who's listening now, you have to have your head on a swivel for curses at all times. This is really important. If fucking Ray Charles is singing, it's crying time again, over the stereo, yeah, yeah, maybe don't decide to put it all on black. I love this new spiritual side of you, Chris,

looking for these signs. Just got to be careful. You know, it's not, it's not, I'm not like superstitious, but you just got to be careful. I think there are definite curses on this planet's, yes. Yeah, just be careful. Eric, you've been cursed for decades.

Oh, big time. Oh, my God, I could. I don't even have two comies to rub together. I do think your, your interaction in Bruges with that man has caused you to get a Grampy curse. You have forever a grampy curse. That is true.

Me trying to fight an old man, I did think cursed me. Yeah, I think that happened. A couple of things here, and we'll have to turn to Mr. Las Vegas for this first question I have, Steve. And Steve, just, Steve, a guy who enjoys, you know,

putting money on the line here and there. You've been done to gamble, Steve. Sure, a little bit. So, like, so let me ask your personal experience here. So you were doing well at that Texas Hold'am, you were saying, right? So let's say you did like them,

and you were up all, you know, this 25 grand or whatever, and you decided you were going to keep gambling. wouldn't you think like oh shit I was rolling hot last night playing Texas Hold'em right I'm gonna go back and do Texas Hold'em again That's exactly what I did

That's how I lost more But I mean I even still It's at least like Because roulette you lose it so fucking fast It's so fast it's gone And yes And they go to really Yes go back to craps dude

If you're exactly If you're good at craps Or you feel like you've got an angle on craps Or like oh I know when to do this And craps or blackjack or whatever Whatever have Pick your game and stick with it is probably a good

good bet. And the other thing about this diner where they're deciding we'll flip it, you know, heads or tails or whatever, he says tails we quit, heads we go for it. This, they cut to the shot of this waitress. It's one of the best shots in the movie. She turns around, she

hears what he says and all you can all you can glean from this is this is like the 50,000th time this waitress at this vagus greasy greasy Spoon has heard like overheard a couple doing this exact thing because she just has this like look of like

oh those poor young idiots I mean I love like they're not subtle about it at all they do there's like a tracking shot of garbage on the floor leading to Demi Moore and Woody Harrelson as garbage on Las Vegas's floor

because they're about to get taken for everything and then have to fucking of all people have to talk to Billy Bob Thornton I love the Billy Bob's in this movie for two seconds. It is, but it's a, it's the malformed early days Billy Bob back when he was like when he was Chunky, the Tombstone Days. Love fat Billy Bob.

He's got this like open shirt, man. It's fucking great. We got to make him fat again. We have to figure out a way. Well, because you can't have him be a gentleman. Like I love the fact that they're like, they get him in here and he's the one who's like, that's John Gage, he's a billionaire. Also, do you think you, like, I know he's rich,

but could I buy her wife for like $100? I mean, like, he's going to have a better deal, but I think I'm the first one here to give you some money. Yeah, that's John Gage. He must get more pussy than you could shake a stick at. Oh, I'm sorry. Did I have faddy? I'm just talking to pussy in public.

Apologies. Yes. Because he does apologize to me more after. Oh, right. I'm like, dude, I don't know. I know it's Vegas, but calm down. And John Gage borrows his wife to, for luck here and then he's like

you think she's gonna ever come back I'm just shit you I'm just shit you I love that line he's like playing Baccarat for children or whatever the hell he's all I could get all I could think about because I did not understand what I don't know I didn't get the game

it looked like it was just you get 10,000 bucks per chip and it's just who has the better hand of the two cards you get like it reminded me of the gag in Vegas vacation where they go to like the shitty like Reno casinos and there's

like they go to the one casino and it's all like really garbage games like guess the number and shit like that like it reminded me of guess the number but what's great about it is you do have Billy Bob being like oh yeah on top of explaining who John Gage is he has a little bit of an exposition

factory here he also explains about the each one of those chips is $10,000 so you at least understand just how high the stakes are in whatever kind of game this is. And I appreciate that, Steve, because you said back around there, or backerow, I think the game is. Anytime we're playing cards in a bond game, I wish there was a Billy Bob to be like, you see what's going on here. He's got like that big stack of ceramic tiles right there. It's $50,000 per ceramic tile, you see. Like, because I never

know what's going on in those bond casino games ever. Oh, yeah. And five of those will get you a kid. That's just an FYI. But you got to go. to the childmonger and he's on the second floor. It's a different it's a different cash out table. We've got to go to the childmonger up on two. You see that guy there? That's James Bond. He's probably gets more pushy you could shake a stick hat. Oh, I'm sorry for my profanity.

James Bond, I mean, you are no man who knows a childmonger. That man has spoken to quite a lot of them. My goodness gracious. Hello, James. I do. You know, speaking of people, we know people that John Gage is the real deal at this casino because all these like swarthy-looking casino operator

dudes are just like, hey, Mr. G, here's your new thing of chips, Mr. G. They're calling him Mr. G all over this movie. Like, he's that fun. Who was Mr. G? Yeah, I was going to say the weatherman down here, Mr. G. Yeah, New York City weatherman Mr. G. So he loses, he loses his firsthand

at the thing and like, D. Moore is very nervous. He's like, oh, my God, this is so much money. He's like, you know, what do you, you're not a card person, I take it. No. He's like, what do you like? Well, I guess I like craps. And he's like, crap shit is. So he takes it over. One. He says one. Yes. It's a one million dollars. Dude, yeah. Can you imagine, man, just one. On the way, Mr. G. And basically, you got to kiss it first. You got to kiss it first. Otherwise, I won't be able to get off later if you don't kiss it. Yes. He probably did that for the sex, too. Like, you got to kiss it.

We'll never know, Eric. We'll never know. Remember how you kiss those two dice back at the casino? I want you to kiss my two balls now. Remember that overweight, balding southern gentleman? Well, he's here as well. Yeah, that's right. I kind of hang out with John and we double team chicks for a million bucks. All right. Now that you kiss my two balls, throw them across the room.

Call it a sling blade. She kisses the dice. She rolls a seven. and dude, this... I love this... Yes, the security guard's crushing this coffee cup because it's reminded... It's the same kind of, like, comical awe

as Chris Farley and Adam Sandler in the Schmidt's gay sketch. Yes. Where we're, like, that dude may have just slowly raised up sunglasses, like, oh, my God. I... The weird thing about this is, I mean, like... So, they are finance...

They lose everything. They put it all in red. They lose. They are financially... ruined, downtrodden. And then they're like, oh, let's go see what this guy's. Like, I wouldn't give a fuck if the world was on fire if I was in this much financial trouble. It's like,

no, I'm going to go lay under a bus. Like, you know what I mean? Like, but Woody Harold's like, hey, sounds like fun, huh? Oh, go hang out with that billionaire. Ooh, cool. He just won a million bucks. Pretty excited. Well, we're, we're off to our pauper's grave. Well, I mean,

isn't it interesting that he's the first one who's interested in the idea at least but like yeah I mean I would be taking the next morning like she was looking at a dress in the store and like yeah they win he says good night

and then like the next day she gets a dress in a big red box well he specifically goes they're about to go home and like well we're about to go home and kill our shelves he's like oh no I won't hear of it you'll have to stay uh stay the night for my because I would I want you guys to hang out to celebrate

To celebrate, of course. I'll get you guys a sweet, all expenses paid, whatever it's on me. So he does put them up. He does. What I hate about this, though, like he gets, she wins him the million dollars or he wins, whatever you want to say. He's got that extra million. He doesn't lose anything in this entire movie.

No, he doesn't, yeah, it's all, it's all profit. It's not like he's all paid. It was nothing to him. He could have actually solved the issue right here. And like, I thought for a moment that was, because like, at one point he's, he puts a $10,000 chip in her hand and I was like, oh, so that he is going to give her something but I don't know if that actually

yeah, like later, but like I, you could have fixed this here. I mean, this is one of two things where I'm like, you're almost showing how evil he is this and when we find out about what he did with the second house. Those are two things where you're like, okay, you're almost getting there. You're almost getting to a

point where this guy's manipulative part of him is coming out for real, but of course they back off immediate. I mean, he's still kind of you kind of get the sense this guy's dirty and evil in the end but they don't go all the way

to that point. They don't show it. Like I want to see him play that note. They go to the suite which looks exactly like when the Maitlands come back from the afterlife

and Catherine O'Hara has ruined their house in Beetlejuice. This like airbrushed black spray paint everywhere, yuck this fucking sweet. The suite is really, really ghost dude. I mean, that's just like, that's Las Vegas

rich, man. You know what it is? That's like an idiot's idea of what good looking rich things look like. Exactly. And they, yes, he does bring up a box, which is the dress she was looking at. Shackleford. Shackleford does it. The great Seabor Cassell. Amazing. He's the best part of the move. Mr. Gage would like to see you at his suite tonight. Because it's before he started doing West Anderson movies and back when he was known for being heavies.

you know what I mean? Like, and I loved him. But the way he's so... Killing him a Chinese bookie, he's so good in that movie. Oh, yeah. But the way that he's so tied to John Gage in this movie, it just kept reminding me of his character from Royal Tenantbaum's and how loyal that was to Gene Hackman's character, you know?

Speaking of Royal Tenantbombs, the way Gage talks about him is sort of like Royal with Pagoda when he's just like, oh, right? Like, oh, who's Shackleford? someone who works for me someone I trust you know he killed a man once yeah Calcutta that's all that was missing is Calcutta you're right that's so great I do love

Woody opens the box and he's like wow lucky for him you like black burr yeah and they they're playing they go out to a nice dinner we see them laughing now we're playing pool and this is when it's like kind of the end of the night

and like here's the thing you know he's gonna be so all right we're gonna go into this. He's going to want to watch this fuck. I'm not doing it for less than a hundred grand. You're good with that? You good with that? And if he wants to be in the bed that's 125. Again, I mean, the joke is made

later, but you should have called Oliver Platt for real. Yeah. Actually get him on the phone. But also, I read, just quick, again, a scene that would actually have some dramatic substance is them at dinner with him. Yes. What are they talking about? What is this? Like, how do you

keep up relations when you have this weird with this guy now. Like, that is actually something of interest. And you just, what is it? Just like, oh, he's laughing. He's making this joke about who cares? Let's get to the billiards room and can I fuck you for money? Yes.

Yeah. Well, it starts with, you know, they do try to do a little conversation over the billiards table there about like how money can't buy you everything. And he's just like, yes, it can. I'll buy your wife right now. He starts this thing off like a job interview, man. he's like, so where do you see yourselves in 10 years? I'm like, I don't

know, fuck you, man. It's your shot. How about that? Yeah. Oh, you know, I think Diana has the line of you can't buy people. That's naive, Diana. Yeah. Watch what I'm about to do to you over the next fucking almost two hours, Diana.

Yeah, so we finally get the $1 million for one night with your wife. We'll see what you say about then when after you get some two and a half star pipe young lady. I kind of want like Seaborg and Steld are like, we sure

about this? You know what if you look at all? Can we talk real quick? What the fuck's going on? You know, the last time we tried this, sir, she wound up dead. Someone should end up dead at the end of this. Like he should. Of course. Woody should walk in with a fucking suicide vest on into one of these casinos. Please. Oh, absolutely. Or dude, you know what I was pulling for?

Honestly, because they start with that shot of the woodman there at the end of the pier. I said this on letterbox. I wanted Demi to be running up to him and just as she goes to call out his name and to apologize, I've always loved you. I'm sorry. Sure.

He fucking throws himself into the warm arms of the Pacific Ocean. Yeah. And she just has to watch it. And I imagine to be like, yay. But it's kind of great because he's like, one million dollars for a night with your wife. What would you say?

And then, uh, DeMe, more, I would tell you to go to hell. And then Woody House said, yeah, go to hell. He's like, well, I think you two should talk it over. It sounds like basically he wants me to do it and you don't want to do it. And it's weird because, you know, just a little bit ago, you said it was her choice if I could borrow her. So it's weird that you immediately going back on that. Interesting.

It kind of seems that like you might be a piece of shit there, Mr. Woody Harrelson. I don't know. So they go to think it over. I'm guessing in this interim John Gidge is attending a shunting of some kind of course. Well, dude, you're totally probably not off the ball too much there, dude, because when this sort of blows up

like what he says like, I tell you to go to hell and then he's like, all right, well, I guess you've proved me right then. And he says I have to go now. I have a meeting. And I was like, it's like two o'clock in the morning, dude. Ooh, yeah, you're watching poor people melt into rich people and be consumed, aren't you? You're going to a shunting.

Sure, we do have that shunting at 12. Oh, fuck, is that soon? Oh, God. Okay. I always forget about the vagus shuntings. Also, you have a very early most dangerous game situation in the morning. Yeah. You have, it's right at 5 a.m. and you need to be there, sir.

So they toss and turn all night being like, we can't let the construction site fall into foreclosure. Oh, my God. these fucking idiot. I love it's like, well, because the best part is when they have to like count it out, like, well, with the million dollars,

we could save the construction site, pay your dad back. It's five grand from your dad. It's not that important. You know what I mean? Like, unless he's really going to be fucking putting the, put the juice on you, you know what I mean? Oh, wouldn't that be interesting

if there was another character that might actually give us some sense of who these people are? You see his back. You just see him like, He has, like, a white shirt and, like, suspenders on. And he's like, well, I scrape this together, you know, making toys for the local children. You say that now, but I could see going a bad way. Like, you get, like, a dinner with the parents or something.

Oh, boy. And it's sort of the deals kind of brought up. And the cheeky mom's like, oh, that John Cage, he's so handsome. I don't do it. Well, I mean, you're totally right. Because, Chris, the thing about the five grand is, like, maybe the debt, like, because you don't know what kind of stock these people come from. So is the five grand

nothing to sneeze at for this father? Or is it a big fucking deal? Did that guy like sell his car to his neighbor to give his son the money? You know, I don't know. That's why I'm highlighting the white shirt and the suspenders. It is poor the wardrobe is poor coded. Is that right? Okay. Yes. That is and like I was like, because he's like walking away from his garage and they're patting each other on the back and it's like a nice moment I would have liked to has seen it but again it's narration time

but I just like this whole are like this whole discussion you're having about like whether we should do this or not we need this for the second property you know what whatever we do we have to make sure we don't check that we can still buy the property. Let's make

let's make sure double double that there's just no way that we can ever get the you know pulled the rug out from under us let's also not check our voicemails or anything what's going on. But it's also It's just, oh yeah, exactly. We're just going to be gone for days and days. This poor dog.

I don't know who's watching him. Hey, it's an Adrian Line movie. Dude, nobody gives a fuck about the dog. Are you kidding me? Poor Michael Douglas' dog eat goddamn ragu sauce. But it's the same dog, honestly. It did kind of look like the same dog, actually. It looks like a lab.

So they're probably doing a little counter-surfing and have some crackers in the middle of it. You know, it's doing okay, probably. But, so they kind of, it is like, it seems like it seems like it's, more it's kind of more her a little bit more like come on it's just my body who cares you know we we slept with people before

you slept with Bubba yeah that's a pretty funny line well you slept with that slut Olivia Beagle yeah it was no she wasn't a slut yeah that's like too much to my dismay

it's kind of funny I was really hoping she was a hoo- but they decide to do it and then they call up Oliver Platt to keep things on the up and up which is also stupid just fucking sign that just do whatever it's a million dollars

why cut an Oliver Platt why give him $50,000 to broker this they have Oliver Platt writing up it's Oliver Platt has drummed up this whole contract it's not a John Gage sure but special I don't know just get the million like give me the million

I guess Yeah. But how can this be legally binding? I guess because Nevada has prostitution. I think you're allowed. Probably. I think that's probably. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I would guess that's the deal. But yeah, we got a lot of crazy shit here. Oliver Plack goes, sure, I know who John Cage is. He's a billionaire. And a righteous Poonhounds. Again, I think that's, that's, that's again, kind of Trumpish, right? It's like he's going around, going through the starlets or whatever. He's grabbing them. Yes. But he's on this speaker phone when Woody calls him here. And Oliver Platt, it's, so I guess like these two screenwriter characters here are looking for new legal representation. And Oliver Platt's like talking to Woody Harrelson on the phone. And it's like, listen, I don't care how much of a, you know, high society lawyer you are and how important you are and successful or whatever. No call from your buddy like this should be taken on speaker phones. Like, oh, my friend is calling me for a personal thing. like listen fellas i'm gonna take this in the other room not these two potential clients overhearing all this shit but i guess at the end of the day overhearing this salacious conversation gets him the gig he's like i can't believe you settled on a million for diana

could have got you too which is a funny joke you know yeah it's all over plat he's my man i love that guy he's always a delight um and so like there's all these things in the meeting scene we're meeting with gauge right after the next scene and it's like all these things like, oh, he must pay up, even if he can't get it up. Like, that's one of the clauses. The John Garfield clause, they still get the money if this dude dies in the act. Yeah. I mean, here's a question. I mean, like, and especially it's 1993, is, are we wrapping it up or what's going on here? Oh, you know what I mean? Oh, well, you know what? Steve, he's a, he's a rich heterosexual. So that stuff is. Yeah, it's a problem. We're not, no, yeah. It's going to

just go on your back if you're lucky. that would be some tension, like, like, I'm pregnant, you know? Yeah, yeah. Or, and I, uh, well, I was, I was saying he's, he's a fucking rich white billionaire and doesn't have to worry about, you know, the, the, uh, the popular STDs of the time, or the rampant STDs of the time, I should say, like, that's a thing, right? Like, we're not at all concerned about, like, HIV in this movie at all. No, not at all, but also, we don't know if he has an air.

So, you know what? She might be carrying the air to the, the Griffin fortune. The Griffin Capital for Shackleford. I need you to hit her with the car. She's pregnant, Shackleford. Yes, it's our worst. Our worst fears have come true.

Use the Beamer, not the rolls. Use the Beamer, please. We spoke with our other attorney. We're pushing back. The million dollars to the night sounds fantastic. But what about 30 grand and you get to jerk off in the room with us? That's not bad, right?

30 gram. Yeah, you should bargain them down to the- 40 grand. You're going to pick her outfit. The 50 they need it. Just get the 50. Exactly. What could I get for 50 grand?

Is it hand stuff? Exactly. See what he'll say. Say, listen, I'm Woody Harrelson. I will fuck her in front of you while you jerk off. Is that $50,000? Absolutely. You could smell my feet afterwards too if you want.

If ejaculating in her is a million, I think that could be 50. Exactly. This is interesting, though, right? Because again, personally time I will watch this movie. stunned at the structure of it, right? Because what the movie should be is... Yeah, it should be like the will-they-won't-they-do this. Maybe it's a thing where Redford is like,

you have a long weekend here in Las Vegas to decide if you're going to do it, right? And like, that's the movie. But it's crazy that the movie, pun-intended here, blows its load within the first, like, 25 minutes, and then the rest of it is like the fallout? Yeah.

My God, I don't care about that. the fallout. That's not what's interesting here. I felt like the movie ended an hour in and then it was just like it even does that movement of like and that's what happened. And then it's like and then they start the car back up. I'm like what are we doing? Did anyone read the trivia for a decent proposal? No, no. Did you print it out? No, I'm at home. But here's the thing. And I think there's a huge chunk missing from the story. And this is very loosely adapted from a book. The book was very different. If I could pull it up. while Steve is looking it up I'll just say I did look up because the whole Shackleford dilemma the guy I was thinking of was Ernest Shackleton as a matter of fact. Oh nice two pieces of trivia

okay number one Hallie Barry was interested in this movie but was refused an opportunity audition because the studio was afraid of adding an unnecessary racial undertone to the plot this is ironic being that a racial undertone was part of the original novel the Redford character was Arab and the Harrelson character was Jewish

And then the second piece of trivia This movie is very loosely based on Jack Englehart's novel While it does contain the story idea of a million dollars For a Night with One Man's Wife Most of the book focused on Arab is really intrigued Of course Arab is really Intrigue in what capacity

I have no idea Still in Vegas I have no clue So I mean like that What all that stuff And I mean like Glad we took it out By the way

Written by Jack Englehard Yes That does sound like a guy That masturbates and types It's just like But clearly this movie is missing something And you know what I mean A third dimension of kinds

definitely not the Arab-Israelian drink I'm okay without it but like just like something that makes this a movie after the sex happens well there's so I mean there's ways to do like again if you made any of these people characters

there's way to make it like a there's another Daisy Kenyons an auto promager movie where it's like a love triangle where there's three people and you get to know all three of them and you that's that could even make the fallout interesting but like if you just are going to like

because, you know, they say yes. He, uh, like, they go to the, uh, the hotel room. And of course, uh, the shackle for God bless him immediately. He's like, okay, everybody else, get out. The party house and all this get out. Get out now. The line that he has, Chris is insane. He goes, gentlemen of goodwill will take, uh, will take leave of one another.

Like, that's like, the, the snootiest way to say, get the fuck out of here. Yes. And like you, like, it immediately is like, like he i think there's like one scene in woody harrison's like i made a mistake is what i did so now i'm going to be pissed about it isn't that character growth everybody hi well this is back when i mean this was sort of like Woody harrison's deal for i mean like he was woody on cheers it's amazing that he ever broke out of that you know what i mean like think about like all of the big tv actors that played a dumb ass that could never ever get another

role ever again. Woody on Cheers famously that. But then for a while he was playing an unlikable asshole. That's white men can't jump. That's this. That's money train. Right. You know what I mean? And then like Is money train before this movie? No, it's after this.

Oh, okay. But like that's like sort of like his earlyish movie career. Then like the aughts, he turns into Woody Harrelson like kind of an every man and you could stick him anywhere and he's doing anything, you know. Well, Milo Schoorman finds him. Yes. Yes. And does, because I think, People versus Larry Flint was like the, oh, this dude's like a real deal. Exactly, yes. Yeah.

By the way, I just- White Men can't jump much better movie, by the way. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. I was skimming the book synopsis on Wikipedia. And that version, the wealthy Arab makes a sex tape with the wife and shows it to the guy. Wow. Okay.

That's better. That's, here's a videotape of me fucking your wife. Can you imagine? Look at my old. slapping her back. How about that? Eventually it gets into hand-to-hand combat. Yes.

Oh, come on. Oh, so much better. Look, if you didn't want to do the Arab Jewish stuff, I fucking get that, but still keep all them plot points. A reverse Pacific Heights, the rich person. You know, this is very easy stuff to work with. But again, you have to make Robert Redford evil a little bit. Yes, you have to.

You're just not giving it to me. And like this, like the hymns. screaming up at the helicopter and you don't even, like, they don't even confirm if it's the helicopter that she's in. Like, I was like, what? Is it supposed to be a dramatic moment or what?

Yeah, he's losing his mind at this point. He's like, I don't want to do the deal anymore. He's chasing her, trying to chase her down, can't find her. The cleaning lady says that they win up on the helicopter. He runs to the roof and it's already taken off and now he's just going to be

an insufferable prick, this entombed. rest of the movie, despite it being his idea. So wait, so we're supposed to believe that like the helicopter, because the helicopter is literally taking off as he runs up there. Like, she didn't see him? Nobody was like, hey, there's a guy

there. He might get his head chopped off. If I'm in a helicopter, I have my eyes closed, and I'm saying the Our Father as many times they possibly can. They apparently fly to Santa Barbara onto a boat, and that's where they... A yacht, baby. They fucking do the dirty

deed. We do not what, know what it is. She's like, they sent for me, you know, and she's on the deck and she's dressed in the black. You better be wearing that black fucking dress. I swear to God it'll fucking kill somebody. Oh, is it a different black dress. It's kind of like a cultural appropriation. It's a little

bit, it's got like a little Asian. Oh, right. Yeah, we love that. Oh, you missed a button. Oh, a button was missed. You're probably not used to buttoning up dresses like this. What with you being so fucking poor? Now that I'm older, man. I'm going to have to button on a dick

to fuck you with. Excuse me while I tie this lollipop stick onto my penis. One moment. Right here the world's first Viagra, it'll fucking kill me. It's made mostly of cocaine. It also cost one million dollars.

Dude, when she like, so yes, she's on the boat, but there's something I don't want to miss because what I would have loved the rest of this movie to be, it's like, so the, like, Redford and her out of it, right? And I was like, just make it Woody losing his mind in Las Vegas, because there is this scene where he's like, it's after he screamed on the rooftop and he goes back

down to the casino and he goes into this room where it's just a bunch of disgusting dudes watching off-track horse racing from wherever. And I, am I just crazy here? Or was I maybe envisioning something that would have made the movie a little more interesting directorial here, directorially here because there's then this big mosaic screen of all the horse racing does that screen not turn to bodies writhing on one another

and it's him it does happen it's Demi Moore he imagines it being it is okay I wanted to make sure I didn't imagine that because that's like it's kind of a good flair and I think there's absolutely almost nothing good about this movie so for a second I thought I was crazy Steve so thank you for

confirm it I do love it's like that, what do you call it there, that Apple 1984 commercial for a hot second? Yes, yeah, they needed a Woody Herald to throw a fucking hammer through those TV. Stop fucking my way! Those are good. The big pops like that are good. Like that,

I really like when they, the one flashback I like is when he's playing with the hippo doll and it flashes to the 16 millimeter of the hippos like, yawning and stuff like, like little things like that actually give this some style, but like here he's just like, he goes outside,

and he goes to a fountain and there's fire coming out. He's like, it's just like, hell. Having my wife fuck somebody else is like, hell, do you get this? Is everybody understanding that? I don't like this. At the restaurant with Oliver Platt, there's all these like weird singing animatronic. That place definitely existed in Vegas and closed in like 1996.

Platt should not be taking him to the rainforests cafe for a go get a skeezy prostitute. Exactly. A little tip for tat. that'll take you mind off of it and i mean like you know platt's pretty happy he's got 50 grand not too bad not too shabby for a day's work uh but yeah so like they're they're they're on the deck and it's like oh you missed a button and she's like she's very clear like let's get this over with you want to fuck me you fucking pervert and he's like listen i'll give you a chair he brings out the coin is like 50 50 chance of you know uh if heads uh you get you get to leave

tails you don't basically and we're revealed later in the film that it's a trick coin that's both things. Can I tell you? Do you know what this is? Do you know what this is? This is. Two-face. It's not as bad. I'm not saying it's a direct one-to-one. But it reminded me a little bit of the

end of Revenge of the Nerds because this is sexual shenanonit. He fucking tricks her with a two-headed coin and he's like, it's my lucky dollar. Heads or tails. And at the end of the movie, when he gives it to her and she looks at it, It is not seething with rage like it should be. It's that old scoundrel.

He's cheating at sex gambling. And he doesn't have to. You've already bought it. It's already happened. It's bought and paid for. Just do it. And again, we fade to black. We don't see what happens.

And I mean, like, again, if this movie is so, the only way this makes any sense is if we never see Demi Moore alone. And it's only about Woody Harrelson perceiving Demi Moore. But the second we start seeing. to me more, do her own stuff, that it matters what she thought about having sex with with Robert Redford. Like, how were his old balls? You know, these kinds of questions. Yes, did he take his dentures out? I want to know these things.

And it's an erotic film, right? So give me an erotic scene besides the married couple showing a nipple and bed. Mommy's a daddy's only, my friend. I love on this boat, by the way, the in-boat entertainment. Herbie Hancock? Dude, legendary musician Herbie Hancock playing this piano and he gives this

look to Demi Moore that's like yeah, you're the fucking third one this month. He's tried this shit with you. I'm just playing the same songs, lady. Don't worry about it. I'm next. He's fucking he after this. She walks in, he's like, oh good, my helicopter's here. See you later, lady.

He's fucking standing at the bow of this boat, dude, staring out at a lighthouse like he's Jay Gatsby all over again and the shot. Yeah, they said you were ready. I want to show you. This is the dumbest the dumbest fucking thing. I want to show you something.

And all the lights go off on the boat. First of all, real serial killer shit. You see that green light at the other end of the pit? Yeah, exactly. Across the bay, dude. But like, what, he's like, I want to show you something. And he looks up. And I can only glean he's talking about the stars in the sky. Because she says, like, oh, I,

you know are you going to turn those off too and he's like we're working on it but like dude your filmmaking is so terrible you can't even have the shot looking up at the stars do confirm through film language that's what's going on fuck this is shoddy filmmaking

let me turn off all the lights do you have any idea how you could leave you can't can you now let you know now look down yes that's right my dick goes in the dark I've been working on it for many years now. It can only do green

now. I'm working on a blue. Yeah, it's like a glow stick. You've got to crack it down the middle to make it work. And lady, you cracked it the minute I saw you. Yeah, you know, I'm much like that Jay Gatsby fella, but I got Shackleford here to make sure no lonely mechanics shoot me in the back when I go

swimming. That's what Shackleford's here for. It's just to make sure when I go swimming, no lonely mechanics take any shots. Pretty much. You add a scene a little more attention. Have like she's with Gage at some point. and then like another angry husband tries to attack

and Shackleford has to like take a guy down. Yeah, Shackleford's been with me for several years now his sweetheart Daisy was run down in the street by a speeding car. And by that I mean I had sex with her. I paid her a million dollars and had sex with her and she left him. And now she is living in sunny Santa Monica.

I mean, he's just got these lines here, dude, this John Gage. If you were mine, I wouldn't show you with anyone. He's kind of being like, The neck and the husband, dude. It's such a smart move. I bought, what the fuck does he say to? What's the other one?

I bought you because you said you couldn't be bought. And she's just like, we're just going to fuck as I understand it. That's a really like kind of stilted line. And then this is the heads or tails, you know, heads we fuck and oops, both sides your heads. But we'll be laughing about that later audience. Don't worry. And then.

you have to because I feel like at some point somebody was like wait a second he's not making movies yet but this could turn into some Eli Roth torture porn shit like is this guy

raping her like what is he doing to her and that's why they insert this line nothing's gonna happen you don't choose you know so that's just like got your bases covered there with this shit that's what John Kramer says and saw yeah you don't know what's going on there

Fair point. This is your own choice. Now you have to get in this metal box. Yeah. You get hit in the head with nails or you fuck me. Make your decision. It's your choice. Fuck or die.

So then the movie ends. And we get, pretty much. Debbie Moore's end of Blade Runner narration here. If I told myself, I was over it. She fucks, right when we were supposed to see her fuck Redford,

we just, it waits five minutes. And then she fucks Harrelson again when she comes back. This weird lipstick smear sack. Yeah. Well, because that was, that was the lipstick for him. Uh-huh. That was, that was for John Gage. Let me wipe off Lashnatt's lipstick before we get down and dirty.

Oh, lipstick. It's like I'm a billionaire. Now hit the road and let's go buy our second house. But what? What happened? What, you second lawyer, you say what? Yeah. So, like, the whole thing is the, the, they never responded to. of phone calls or letters and now they can't get the property back and it's just... You have a million dollars.

You have a fucking million dollars. Who gives you? Go someplace else. Exactly. You didn't get that far in the in the construction here. It's all very skeletal phase still. You got a million buckaroos in 1993, man.

Go figure it out down the beach somewhere. That's sinister twist later. Wow. He needs to be shot in the heart. John Gage bought the fucking property out from under them seemingly while fucking her. Oh, yeah.

That's the other thing is I don't believe that during their discussion when we see them discussing whether or not to do it, how do you not be like, you don't give him any personal information. Do not share yourself with him. Yes. Yeah.

You make, if you can make up a fake job. Make up as much fake shit as you can. But none of that happens because that would be interesting. So rather than do that, we just do this like let's argue let's Woody Harrelson and Demi Moore argue and be pissy with each other for 25 minutes and then and then eventually we'll get Robert Redford back here to make everything nice for everything. Let's have a scene where they guarded and argue. Let's have a

scene in the house where they argue. Jesus Christ. They could argue on a train. Yes, they can Sam I am. Like they just argue and argue about and I mean I get it like that's kind of the point of the movie is like this it's destroyed the trust in the relationship. Is that so important and interesting? There's a better, quicker way to get to this because it just, the movie becomes so lugubrious and so slow and just everyone's so sad. It's like, I get it, man, like, okay.

I mean, it's amazing. Like, we have this, like, not for this movie, but for a better movie that this movie is trying to be, right? We've got this, like, weird tilting into a Dutch angle when he finds the matchbook that says Griffin on it, you know? And it's just, it's so annoying because he's like, so found this

matchbook and she's like, I thought we weren't going to talk about this. It's like I thought we weren't going to have a movie anymore. We also learn that Woody Halsey's character can't read. What's this Gryphon thing going on? And she's like, um, it's

Griffin. And he's like, oh yeah, but what's this matchbook anyway? Where to two Fs? You're supposed to two Fs on the Griffin. Honey, I struck one of these little sticks and fire came out. What is this? Where did you get this? Wow, Mr. Peterson. I never heard of a matchbook before.

It's so, I mean, look, why can he read Griffin? I mean, he goes, I mean, the big rupture of trust is he starts going through her purse. Yes. I love the dog is on the bed next to him. Like, don't do it, man. The dog's looking like, this is a bad. We've all been there, pal. Just leave that purse alone. Just think about your second house, buddy. Come on. I want the second house for you. I got somewhere to run around, baby. Yeah, it looks like I'm going to have a ball in this huge new house.

Don't fuck this up, buddy. Billion bucks. I don't know. I don't know. I like it. A million bucks. Have you seen him? Have you seen him?

We're just getting like more and more paranoid. And again, if you want to take this into a paranoid thriller territory, go for it, baby. I will help you light that rocket. Absolutely. Like, I am all there for the woodman. man getting fucking freaked out and he starts, like, yes, make it

fatal attraction with like both of the dudes are fucking it up. Like, like Redford drives the wedge in between the marriage and then Woody Harrelson does the crazy crime shit and starts stalking this billionaire. No, it should, it should literally be Jacob's Ladder, but instead

of Vietnam, it's another man fucking his wife. Right. Like that, it should be something like that. It should be so insane. Use the money to hire a hitman to kill John Gage. well this is a thing too and i mean like you've got this billion bucks you know a you get shut out about the house property thing and it's like what i'm to understand at the end of the movie is they don't spend a nickel bull fucking shit the first week it's like you know what let's get

over this we're going at tahiti baby you know what i mean or we're oh yeah we're going out for nice dinners who wants a nice dress who wants nice shoes who we're putting it all on red exactly and also pay your goddamn father back so he's not fucking that so he's not putting his wife up a million bucks, you know what I mean? Like, he's in trouble. Yes, I also fucked your mother. Yes, I meant $1 million for your mother as well. Oh, nice.

Remember, we already have given up 5% to Oliver Platt. Yes. We're down 50 grand. Exactly correct. Yep. Well, it's also, I, the reason, I mean, like, that is number one. Like, them not using any of the money does make me, I don't believe this at all. But like, it, like, it was this era where was.

Isn't it? Like when the destruction of the, of an American family was worse than war. Like if this is, if this shatters, we are truly lost. I'm like, who cares? She's going to find somebody else and be happy. You're both hot as fuck. You know what I mean? Look, it's cool. Who cares? Oh, my God. But so she goes to her old office and asks a former coworker like, hey, I need you to use our realty computer database here and find out who bought the property out from under us. And they're like

for two seconds, this non-character's concern she's going to lose her job, but that doesn't matter. Fuck all. And it's like, uh-oh, who bought it? John Gage. Well, doesn't she I guess, psychically know where John Gage is having lunch at that exact

moment and just goes there? This poor fat guy gets absolutely obliterated. Like, no, John Gage gets no consequences whatsoever. Woody Harrelson barely gets consequences. This fat guy who's just trying to have a nice meal with a billionaire gets fucking creamed

like it's the end of police academy. It's like what the fuck happened to me? Two things are pretty great about this. One, he looks like the kind of like basically a featured extra like he was one of the other guys on Cheers. That guy Paul. Yeah, exactly.

Just one of the other bar flies. He looks exactly like that guy Paul on Cheers. And also I really love, he's clearly just another rich douchebag because when when he gets covered in that corn chowder or whatever is all down he's got a bunch of cummies on it uh all you can see all of the the service staff like eating it up like look at that asshole paul got covered in hot soup isn't that diana we were eating cum how dare you interrupt our luncheon special come from thailand is what rich people do we eat cum for lunch all day long i think he's the other guy who's doing the layoffs and off space. Oh, maybe. Yeah, I think that's him. Yeah. Well, that's, that's, that's Paul from. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know you're right. That's right. Yeah. It's, that's Paul from Cheers. You're right. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. But so she pulls, she pulls him out and screaming, you know, in her, in her Demi Moore Husky voice, like, you fuck this over. I can't believe this.

You know, about the house. Well, it was a good property. It was a good deal. And she's like, well, how much is it going to cost. It was like two millions. Yeah, if you fucked me for $2 million, you'd say $4. Well, probably. Wow. Wait a second, though. Am I wrong here? And Chris Cabin is right?

Or are they both? This other guy is also in office space. Oh, interesting. This is an actor Joe Bayes and he The guy gets the stuff all over him. That is the other guy. Yeah. Yeah. With the mustache. I also thought Paul from Cheers was in office space.

Both of these dudes are in office. I believe so. I'll pull it up right now. That would be an incredible, incredible coincident. Yes. He is at office space. That's awesome. They're both in office space. Paul from office space is one of the bobs. This guy happens to be someone else. Wow. Okay. That's so funny. How about that? They nailed the look of a older office worker.

Oh, here you know, that's totally true. Joe Bays as Dom Portwide, one of Peter's superiors at Intertech. Oh, yes, yes. He comes over. He's one of the first guys that talks about the TPS reports. Yeah, yeah. Oh, oh, God. That's awesome.

But so she's like, she's furious at this guy. He's like, fuck you. I can't believe you tried to, you're trying to ruin our lives and this. You wish you hated me. Oh, that's, yes, like, I hate you. You wish, oh, you wish, you loved it. You fucking love my. red for dick you love playing my spy games she throws you will be my last castle

she fucking throws this entire table at him and he offers her a job yes he's like oh you want a job he's like get the fuck out of here so she decides to go home and she's like listen i should come not even i mean like i'm going to explain to him what happened to our land and what a piece of shit this john gage is and she's like so i saw gage and he throws this one, the cheapest bottle of wine I've ever seen. This thing goes up like a fucking Roman candle against a refrigerator, uh-uh.

Um, you gotta start this reveal differently though, dude. You have to start it. Like, she's burying the lead. I'm not saying the woodman throwing the bottle of wine against the fridge is the right call at all. It's not. But she buries the lead.

You have to start with guess I found out who bought the property. Exactly. And wouldn't you believe it? It's that son of a bitch, John Gage. Not I saw John Gage today. What are you kidding me? No, exactly.

And then he just storms off and that's literally the end of their relationship. That man was a fucking stallion, David. We did it all day long. Oh, that's right. Was it good? Was it good? That's right. Good for her. Honestly, good for her. I'm surprised. She should have gone worse. She'd been

like, biggest dick I've ever seen. I literally haven't been walking right since. It wasn't, it wasn't an ankle injury. I'm sorry. I lied to you. It was his dick. His dick made my leg for him. He's the best pussy eater on the West Coast. Get real fucking West Bentley from American Beauty.

I felt like I was fucked by all the president's men, okay? And it was just one guy. He gets me wet in the right ways. Unlike your dick that makes my pussy cry. It was like Butch and Sundance were fucking me at the same time. Who did I enjoy fucking more? It's no quiz show

him. And yes, he was huge, so when it was over, there was a little bit of a sting. Yeah, and I would spend three nights of the Condor with him. What is that even mean? I guess it's three days of the Condor,

but it would be sexy at night. It would be sexy. Ooh, three nights of the Condor. Condor after night, after night. Yes. Oh, and you know what? He was a natural. Oh, of course.

That's the baseball one? Yes, that is. With, I think Brimley. I think Brimley's in it. I mean, the rest of, I mean, until we get to the climax of this thing, it really is just Woody Harrelson just coming to terms with the fact that he has to get a job again. Like, that's really it. This is about 20 minutes of him crying in an empty apartment with his dog and a stuffed hippo

with a bunch of boxes everywhere. And he finally decides, I will become a teacher, I suppose. Well, first of all, he bottoms out because he gets really drunk. As he's getting drunk, we find out, which is also like, I mean, like, you're right. Woody eventually becomes a teacher. That's one thing. We cut to Demi Moore at work. All of a sudden, and I mean, like, I've been watching for an hour and 15 minutes.

My eyes are glazed over. It's the boring part of the movie. Rip fucking Taylor shows up as the boss set up. I couldn't believe me. I cannot believe you just casually drop in Rip Taylor. Like, you can't do this. This is against all laws of movie physics. And he's like a heavy, which is kind of amazing.

You're fucking fired if you don't take this client. I was like, what is happening? Where's the glitter? Exactly. And then the whole thing is like she has to go show John Gage a house that's already his own house. Because John Gage shows up to her office and it's like, recession or no rescission, I'm going to spend $10 million to the. And her boss is like, and he's like, I want the big titty lady to do it.

And the boss is like, I got it. So he, that's what the deal is. That's like the conflict. And she's like, I don't want to do it. He's like, if you don't do it, you're fired. Oh. No more confetti for you. You're fired.

Did you guys want to guess the title of, uh, Rip Taylor's last movie that he was in before dying in 2019? No. He was in a, it's a podcast so I'm doing air quotes he's in a comedy in 2012 that was called

Silent but Deadly Oh yeah Oh no it's a fart Yeah Glitter It's something about like People in an old folks home There's machine guns

I'm like it looks fucking terrible That's depressing That reminded me of another Sexual Robert Redford title Law you don't even have to do anything Do it the old man in the gun That was a good call.

If you don't have sex with me right now, all is lost. You want to see Pete's Dragon? No, don't just. No, no, no, no. Don't just work the shaft. Make sure to lick my bagger vans. That movie sucks.

All right, do not. Do not stick a finger up my ass. That'd be a bridge too far. Do not do it. Don't do it. A million. to take a walk in the woods with your wife. And I won't give the chase.

Oh, yes. Oh, excellent. This is fun. But like, he wants to take, let's go around all these properties. Wouldn't you know, the last property they show up at is his own property, which is like a low, again, and I mean, you can't do this with Robert Redford. He can't be a billionaire with a lonely half. and mourning a love that he doesn't have anymore. Like, I've seen that movie.

Dude, this whole cry baby, piss your pants speech, I'm a billionaire that saw a girl on a bus one time. Get fuck. I wanted to jack off to a girl on a bus one time and I couldn't do it. Join the fucking club, pal. It's ruined my life. You can't just have like a girlfriend. You can't have this guy have a human connection before.

It has to be. no a girl from a far I mean I understand it's part of the character makeup like everything is from afar everything is to be handled there is no person it's just what you're buying but like I just kind of wanted him to like show a little bit of

human something at some point it never happens it's so funny that like the movie the character is so poorly developed like it's not a character it's just a dollar sign with a cock and balls right but like you

get to this house and it's all this like you know these it's art collections and it's fucking Italian marble and whatever else and she he's like well how would you help me fix it up and she's like I don't know some personal anything are you a person like it's so funny that the dialogue

is like sort of accidentally criticize it like yes it's supposed to be this oh it's just the money and whatever but like I'm sorry that doesn't make a movie character and you have to be like my wife died 30 years ago in a car accident or fucking anything at all. Have a picture of him. Oh, this, this year, this

is my grandson. Like, photographs, like this, it's just a nothing, nobody non-character. I hate it. And this is the scene where you're supposed to believe, like, she's into him now. Yes. And, like, after, like, they do a little, like, two-step as they're leaving. And then, like,

you watch Woody Harrelson embarrass himself severely by getting drunk and trying to interrupt their date night later. Well, also, I'm sorry, but the quick thing is, but before that happens, there's also because somehow, whoever whatever script doctor wrote on the end of this movie or wrote all

the versions of the end of this movie, they forgot that they made Woody Harrelson a teacher, and then they accidentally made her a teacher too. Yes. It doesn't make any sense. There's narration again, like she starts teaching people for this the citizenship test because she needed something to do

to fill the time. Yes, the dark void that was in her heart, blah, blah, blah. That's when you know you have really under-baked character. Yeah. She's just over halfway through the movie, you're like, and then she needed something to do. So, I don't know, she got like a jump. I mean, but that, which would be one thing, if it doesn't

happen seven minutes later with Woody Harrelson also. It's so insane. But that's why they're meant to be together. Oh, they're teachers. But so, like, she's teaching. And then Woody Harrel, and then Robert Erfords's like, like, citizenship to have, sounds like bullshit. I'm going to, I'm going to scamp around in it. Hi, everyone.

Dude. Hello, Miguel. This fucking asshole. Can I buy your wife as well? 400 pesos. I fucking hate this because this class goes gaga for this guy. They think it's so romantic that he's being a fucking prick and interrupting their class and possibly wrecking their chances at citizenship. You're right, you're right, but it's a famous guy showed up, I think, is the time. They think he's a president at first. Yeah, he will be. One of them, 20, 20, no, 20. Well, bite my tongue. I meant 2016.

Oh, dude, but 20 something. But if that, if it's John Gage, then we have a fucking, um, Secretary of the Interior, Shackleford and I'm in. Oh, man. That's some house of card shit.

If you got a dude like Shackleford in the white house. But so like, he just scamps around and she, like, I guess he asks around on a date here or whatever and they, this is when they start dating or whatever. I also don't buy that he loves her though

He's in the citizenship class And he's like, I'm crazy about her I'm crazy about her And I was like, why? Because she's hot That's all you know about this woman Don't give me this you're crazy about her Fuck off

I mean he's putting on a show I mean that's what the whole point is like The way he comes in and then comes in the back way He's being an entertainer Like that's his whole thing Even that way I'm sure that was discussed I mean

I just like when you get to the point like there's no point in me like getting angry at him at any point just because I'm like this isn't a character

again this is just like something that comes in every once in a while and fucks things up for Woody Harrelson and Demi Moore and like including

when he Woody Harrelson gets shit face and tries to give her a proposal like outside of the fucking what is this place they go to a nice restaurant

and he does a big swing to punch him and he misses and check. There's a couple of things here that are terrible because this is after we've seen there's a little montage of him ripping up photos of her

and this is some of these memories this is the hippo and these are the 8mm memory for some reason. And he goes and he's like oh yeah well I think you say your logo's a Griffin I think it should be a kooker

because you move to another bird's nest and ruin their babies. Dude, and this is just, it sounded better yesterday, you know what I mean? It's just like, and land a coo, you know what cuckoos do they shit themselves. This is the jerk store all over again. Exactly. And this is when, like, this is when you've lost, dude, when you take a swing at a fucking 68 year old man and miss and fall into a puddle while it's raining. And then he helps you up.

He tells Demi Moore to go inside, get the table, order us some bread, and he's going to help this guy. He's going to be the big man and help him back into his car to get him back home. And I'm so glad that this happens because you get what, now that I'm seeing it here in my notes, it is the best part of this movie. Seymour Casell Fireman Carrying Wooden Errolson on his back. Oh my God.

Yes. And then Woody Harrison, like, wakes up with the dogs licking him. And we get a weird shot here. Oh, yeah. The dog licking the lens. P.O.V. baby. Right. Well, I kind of want, like, you know, Seabor Casell to just, like, put a pillow over his face. Like, yeah. It's for the best. Look, you, uh, you fell on your face whiffing, punching an old man. It's, it's lights out for you, buddy. That cuckoo story didn't make any guts. Tell your handers back at the ID. it's over. Honestly, it would be fucking great if Shackleford did kill him and then Demi's like trying to get away from

this guy and you can't because he's a billionaire and he's like, oh no, he died because he drank so much. I was like, no, I don't know about that. It should take that sharp, dark turn like fatal attraction does with the boiling of the you know. I mean, this is when the Israeli Arab conflict would have gone through the roof, I guess, as a book. There just needs to be something here.

there's literally nothing. We get a Billy Connolly. Well, no, first he goes, Woody Harrelson puts his life back together. He does decide to start teaching again. By the way, when he's living in this like little rental bungalow or whatever. Oh,

it's a shitbox garage. It reminded me of Oppenheimer when Chev, Chauvillier. Chevrolet goes into exile. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, he does kind of have a little shitty bungalow. But this teach,

I mean, his teaching, I mean, like, yes, it's like architecture, this and that, but it is, like, what test is this, like, is this like the opening? You know what I mean? Like, is any of this? Intro to architect. Exactly. Like, it's just like, what is your, what is your brick lady? It's like when Michael Scott teaches the paper class. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it's all showboat and no substance whatsoever. Yeah. It has to be, I mean, this has to be like the first week. Exactly. Yeah. This isn't a, this isn't a week six conversation. I want to see your. syllabus. It's a good opener, right? It's a good opener, but then you can't keep, he probably does this every day. He's just saying the brick speech every day. Welcome to architecture is awesome.

Hi, I'm your teacher. Oh, there's my buddy. Oliver Platt. Hi, everybody. That's my buddy over there. He saw me teach. We're going to take a field trip to go look at car washes. Everybody on the bus, we're going to that beautiful

Sonic made out of a church. And you know, What is a brick want to be? It wants to be a building, doesn't it? And then it truly will be a planet of bricks. And this brick, this brick wants to be named David. And this brick wants to be named Diana. But then Diana, fuck this other brick for a lot of money. Right.

And then it turns into Chris Farley banging the toy cars together. Yeah, then Oliver Platt, Shropstein, is like, yeah, sorry, buddy. She was enforcing you. dude yeah after your first big lecture at school you served with divorce papers oh ouch that's good i do like during his like class prep the night before he's got like a bath towel pinned to a wall and that is his slideshow screen and he's going over stuff and like in his architecture carousel oops there's a picture of demi more i so desperately wanted him to be like i phil tower crassler building yes golden gay Bridge. Oh, here's a picture of me fucking my wife in the slasher. Oh, great. Fan fucking past. He's just crying

in front of all these architectures students. And, you know, so then it's, we're at an auction, an animal auction. Oh, my God. And here comes, I mean, if you thought Rip Taylor just was Billy Connolly, just

as Billy Connolly. Yes. Like doing Billy Connolly material. It's just, it's Billy fucking. Connolly. Was this around the time Billy Connolly had that incredibly short-lived sitcom also called Billy? Possibly. Possibly. That I watched a ton of. Also for clarification, it's not like we're auctioning off animals at some rich people black market thing. It's a fundraiser for a zoo where they're auctioning off and you quote adopt it. And it's a fundraiser like for this zoo, I think is the idea. And this is a little bit of foreshadowing. Because she really, really, Demi Moore really likes the hippo. She's just, she's crazy for the hippo and of course

the hippo is Woody Harrelson. Woody Harrelson is the hippo in this case. Well, Billy was the television season right before this came out in 93. This was 1992, 13 episodes of Billy. Lucky and he goes, you know, it's basically like, you know, how much

Billy Conno is having a lot of fun with the hippo doing a little dance there and it's, you know, five thousand dollars thank you so much 15,000 dollars who are getting a little and then what he has one million dollars

you know what dude a hundred thousand dollars we were in the fives and tens a hundred would have fucking got you that hippo no problem and then you just go Diana I will bought I bought your whole zoo

if I had to we bought a zoo I'm not in that one yeah I mean also let's not forget like you don't have a million dollars Woody Harrelson you don't you have just under a million dollars 9.50 buddy I do want the line like bring that dip shit narration back in and just have him go and then I skipped out on the bill headed to Tijuana the next morning

because once you say something at auction it's kind of legally binding and I was like, shit, I forgot about all of her plant. And then also all that stock that I bought. I mean, so it, yeah. Yeah, the cold August rain starts coming down and

Woody Harrison dramatically signs his divorce papers in the middle of a rainstorm. After dropping this line, dude, where he goes, I thought he was the better man. I know now he's not. He's just got more money. Boom.

finally someone just comes out and says it, you're only with this dude because he's rich, which also makes you fucking deplorable anymore. Exactly, and he gives him the deporist papers and he goes to their dock or wherever. And we have to see, we have to see, oh, Mr. John Gage, standing getting out of the rain,

looking so sad that, oh, look how happy she's making. Oh, and he's happy. Oh, I'm just, I'm such a sad, lonely billionaire. just a sweet old grandpa in this movie. Definitely not a fucking sex trafficking scumbring. And that's, and he, the way he, he's such a good guy because he, he takes her back. And apparently the writer for the, I think she's credited, Beethoven. Yeah, but they took the movie away from her like a million times over and like this was not her ending.

Amy Holden Jones. The idea was no one could give up Robert Redford, Robert Redford, Robert Redford to give them up, which is kind of insane. like no one in the studio would like allow Demi Moore to be like oh I don't want to be with Robert Redford he has to like he has to like see that's what he does in this scene he seeds his hand because it's like oh we're driving away and he's like do you remember hey Seawork-Sel you think she's the most

popular member of the million dollar club and then Seawork himself's like oh my good old friend Shackleford he's a and a shash and also took a lot of improv classes actually really good at it you waste about four grand but he's still pretty good at it. Because he yes adds immediately. And he's like, oh, yes, sir.

I remember the one from Oklahoma couldn't stop hiccuping. Yeah, oh, this isn't the first time I've had to do some on-the-spot long-form improv with my boss. Hey, by the way, guys, Amy Holden Jones, I was like, fuck, that sounds way familiar. Co-writer and director of the first slumber party massacre in 1982. Great movie. It is a very good movie. second movie not so much but fun I just rewatched the second movie last night

and uh yeah it's still not great the second time around so first movie is great but idea here is that gauge like lies to her to say that she was just one of many I don't know yeah it's totally made up but there's there's probably like

10K club that's pretty pretty out of it oh yeah it's got numbers to it that's just called escorts yeah you've paid for escorts and sex workers That's fine. You don't have to give it a club name. No, it's kind of fun.

We have little special ID cards and everything. It's really great. But the, I hate this movie so much. The insane, insane line that they have this woman have. It can't even be a thing where it's like, their long form improv like takes off and works and she gets pissed off and, you know, whatever.

And then he's like, good work, Shackleford. let's go get drunk or whatever. Before she gets out the car, they have to make her hip to it. And then so, like, she doesn't, like, leave angry, even though it's like Robert Redford's set up fake, you know, situation that made her angry. She just goes, thank you, John.

And I was like, for what? Letting you live, lady? What are you thanking this guy for? For coming on her back? Like, I don't understand. Like, what could she thank him for? It's not the million dollars. It's not, you know what I mean?

Like, it just, it doesn't make sense. Thank you for letting me go. Yes, exactly. Thank you for, yeah, not locking me in a basement at Stephen Seagall's house. And then he goes, this is that he gives the lucky dollar

or whatever. And he, is it he says, yeah, he goes, I wanted it to end. Yes. Like a real fucking coward.

And then he's like, oh, Shackleford, she never would have looked at me the way she looked at him. And I was like, I don't know, man,

you could have saved yourself all of this trouble, I guess, he was looking at her that exact same way back at the casino four weeks ago or whatever I just don't understand it it's such a waste I mean it's it's such a cowardly way to resolve this conflict and then it's revealed that it's two-sided and she's laughing about it it's like no lady he tricked you into sex crazy fuck this fuck this guy fuck this couple fuck this movie fuck these non-characterical and then of course at the end they've had this and

I always, this extra screenplay screenplay thing where they have a call and response. Every, like every couple has us. No couple has us. It's like, uh, I, have I told you? Have I told you I loved you lately?

Have I forgotten or, and it's like, I love you a lot. I know. It's like back and forth. It's like relationships is like being spies. Like, you know, the birds fly in the winter.

That's the show the Americans, dude. Oh yeah. You got a lot of excellent seasons of television that do that way better than this movie. What's crazy about this is when she says that, when she says the, so the way, picture this, right, we're at that pier that I so wanted him to throw himself off the pier,

throw her off the pier, jump off the pier together. We're all going to help tonight, whatever. And then just leave a million dollars to the dog. Exactly, yeah, it's like in a briefcase, you know, get another fucking comedian cameo. When fucking Cheech Marin comes in, finds the suitcase, he goes, oh, man, it gets out of that. Boundu, boom, boom.

Oh, yeah. I do like the idea of a rich dog, though, especially from the Beethoven scribe. We could do like a dog cinematic universe in the future. I'll give you $1 million to sleep with your bitch. No, so she walks all the way down this long pier. He's the only one sitting out there, right? So, like, I guess he's just so distraught and whatever.

He can't hear these heels. clacking on this boardwalk. Okay, fine. I'll give you that maybe. He's sitting on this bench and it's like a bench where it backs up into the back of another bench, right? She sits down on the other side and says the, have you told, have I told you I love you, whatever the line is? And Woody's response is one of like, oh my God, she's here. Like, you didn't see and hear this woman coming? Is your peripheral vision totally destroyed for some reason? He's just sad. He's just sad. still always and end of bad movie credit finally everything is just fine unreal

unreal this movie go around the horn here final thoughts Eric Siski yes well I already said the fuck speech but yeah no it's not really a recommend

for me I mean I it's it's bad but Shackleford keeps pulling me back and I would just like a whole series of Shackleford Mysteries Shackleford Mysteries. Shackleford Mysteries also sounds like a 1979 to 1981

detective show that was cancer. And I got to tell you though, Rip Taylor as this heavy he kind of looks like Seymour Cassell if he was like the villain in the Shackleford Mysteries and like it's Seamor Casel beating this shit out of Rip Taylor and vice versa. I'd watch the fuck out of that movie. That sounds incredible. Yeah, so Shackleford versus Mr. Langford.

So to keep it quick. Not really for me, but Shackleford. My God. Steve's saying it. Yeah, it's a not recommended. It's kind of weird it was such a zeitgeisty movie, that whole because it was all the trailers, all the would, you know, the question of would you give up your wife for a million dollars, blah, blah, blah, blah. But then the movie doesn't do anything with it. And this movie made $260 million.

Oh, yeah, maybe. It's just incredible. It would have made more with the original. Did you see that like Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman and Warren Beatty? That would have been probably something else. I just, but the thing is like it also like as an erotic, it's not even erotic whatever like a couple sexy scenes up top.

We don't even have the sex scene that we're paying for. And there's no sex after like the first 41 minutes. So like it's actually, it's a very dull movie. It is. So it's a no. No sex in the architect. extra studio. That's how the song went, right? Chris Cabin. Oh, Big No. Fuck this movie. This is horrible.

I will say, both Eric and Steve have highlighted the issues with it. It is really boring. It is the I think it's probably Lynn's worst movie, all things told. It's either that or the Lolita remake. We'll see. That's a bad movie. Although, you know what? You know what that movie has on this movie, Chris? I know. Frank Langelo Wagging penis. There are little things that I do think put

the little bit of the remake above this. Yeah, it's a medium size. I got to double check it. Let's Google Franklin Jellah penis. It's gorgeous. But I will say, don't watch this movie. But if you are looking for a great gambling movie in Vegas,

I just recently watched looking to get out. It's Hal Ashby's weird John Voight Bert Young movie. Oh, I've never even heard of he it's the the original release uh was considered not very good but the director's cut which was released by ashby uh is very readily available now uh is incredible unbelievable one of my favorite boy performances and and margaret's in it as well she's incredible uh just an amazing movie and see that instead of

this about the same running time hey guys i'm sending you uh the photo of uh lengue franklin jealous petis oh there you go yeah it's all right it's okay not too shabby iron's iron staring on in the background there it's a cold set too who knows what's happening in the heat of the moment that's right exactly triple that size but yeah he's he's playing the Peter Sellers

character in the remake and he I believe this is or no he's been shot here there's a scene previously where he's like running around running down a hallway and it's the penis is doing a little propeller motion which isn't too bad yeah I know I've been a little animated on the show today

I really just despised this. It's been a while since a movie has really hit me like this. And I think part of it was because I was like, this soaked itself into the zeit guys. This made over $266 million globally. This, this, are you kidding? It's the question. It was the question.

I'm telling, like, I don't want to interrupt you, but literally all you had to do was ask the question, would you sleep with Robert for a million dollars? Exactly, because that is a talking thing. that's it that's a everyone's talking about it then and also demi more becoming a huge star at this point so yep oh yeah no i mean i mean i mean i to a degree i get it but like it's incredible that the word of mouth didn't sink it or something you know what i mean like you're not making 266 million dollars in the first weekend you know what i mean so like people had to see it and then be like holy fuck it's great

and i don't get that adrian line movies uh that are better than this include jacob's ladder and the film Unfaithful, which does sexy sexy craziness way fucking better. And I honestly 9.5 weeks might be better than this. It's been a minute, but it's definitely better than this for sure. Okay. I mean, because I just fellas, I truly despised this movie. But that, you know, sometimes makes for a good conversation here on

We Hate Movies, the Comedy Show, of course. So big thanks to who was this from Colorado that's called? Jared. Jarrett, yes, that's right. Thank you for finally making me cross this one off the list, Jared, and I know I will never be revisiting it, but that's going to do it for this episode of We Hate Movies. If you want more

quality programming, of course, you got to check out Patreon.com slash We Hate Movies, where this month as well, we are turning over most of that programming to our fine subscribers, including a We Love Movies episode that is already out now on the kick-ass movie, The Fugitive.

Oh, baby, that's a good one. And you can get an advertisement free as well. This episode their advertisement free. That is available to you now at that $8 level, which also unlocks the Nexus, our Star Trek program,

which also is programmed by you listeners this month, as well as the Gleap Glossary. We're doing Chavage, Opress. And actually, starting next week, we're launching a brand new offering on the $10 level, which is a, we're going to be recapping different stuff from time to time under the banner of too old for this shit

for things that we're obviously too old for. We're starting out with X-Men 97, ladies and gentlemen. The brand new Disney Plus thing that I'm really excited to see what it's all about, how it's all going to go. We talk a deep X-Men nerd shit there on a whatever basis. I think it's weekly, probably. We'll figure it out. We'll see how it is they're releasing the episodes.

We will recap every episode that they release. In one way or another. That's correct. Yeah, I'm very excited for that. At the time of this recording, it has a, even aired yet, but we're super, super excited for too old for this shit. Something that is not

a listener program because we need to keep these story arcs right in the crazy timeline that they're in. Melro 210. Also on the $10.000 level. That's right. Our Beverly Hills 90210 slash Melrose Place Recap show where each month we are going through an episode of that wild

block of Fox primetime soap opera programming from the 90s. Ooh, it is just the sweet spot. There is so many offerings on that Patreon. The $10 level is also once in a lifetime, not a new, every other month we do a lifetime movie. There is so much to do.

And also, don't forget, folks, come see us live on the road. On April 25th, we're going to be in Atlanta, Georgia, at the city winery talking gamer. May 14th, we'll be in Houston, Texas at the Houston Improv talking Robocop 2. Fuck, yeah, I'm pumped for that shit. And then May 15th in Austin, Texas,

Cap City Comedy, talking from Dust Till Dawn. come out to those shows and I'd like to see you. It would have been awesome if at the end of this movie someone turned Robert Redford's character's body into a guitar and played it. Yes.

Much like him from Dustal time. Like Herbie Hancock turns him into a rips him, makes a human piano out of him or something. Yes, and also this month, if it's not out already, the Rebel Moonmentary, we're going through the Zach Snyder

film They are through commentary form, of course. You can either watch along with us or just listen to it. That was a lot of fun. You can hear Steve fall asleep several times throughout. Just once. I don't know, dude. You'll have to listen for yourself and see.

So that's going on as well. That was a lot of fun. But the cool thing is both here at the $8 level and up and on the free feed with commercials, we hate movies, listen to Request Month. Rolls on next Tuesday. There's a brand spanking new episode. And what film, Steve Sadek, are we talking about? We are looking at Rollerball 2002, the Chris Klein joint.

I can't imagine it's very good. I just get, knowing that Chris Klein is the lead, I can't imagine it's very good. Nah, it really isn't. Who's the other, there's another fellow. El O Cooge as well. Rebecca Romaine. Yes. Oh, and also the second most recent directorial effort from

both in movie jail and at one point literal jail John McTiernan. So that was a crazy thing I learned about Roller Ball. I cannot wait to talk about that. Next week, here on We Hate Movies, it's like 30 minutes of a fucking night vision scene in that movie. You don't want to miss out on that. What is that Cicario? So until next week with Roller Ball 2002. I've been Andrew Jupp. Stephen's in. Eric's Cisco.

This cabin. Take it easy. Thank you. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Thank you.