We Hate Movies - S14 Ep731: Major League

Episode Date: April 2, 2024

“Yes! Bring me more of that sharp profanity!” - Andrew on the Major League script On this week’s episode, we’re kicking off SHEENPRIL here on We Hate Movies with a chat about the beloved sports comedy, Major League! How bonkers is it that Tom Berenger’s Jake Taylor is straight-up stalking Rene Russo’s Lynn Wells throughout this whole movie? Was the real Willie Mays Hayes murdered by Wesley’s character and this guy just took his place at the tryouts? How many pounds of gravel did James Gammon have to eat throughout his life to get that majestic voice? And who knew Sheen’s Ricky “Wild Thing” Vaughn was going to be such a huge sensation? PLUS: Who wins in a fight between James Gammon and Rip Torn?!  Major League stars Tom Berenger, Charlie Sheen, Corbin Bernsen, Margaret Whitton, James Gammon, Rene Russo, Wesley Snipes, Charles Cyphers, Chelcie Ross, Dennis Haysbert, and Bob Uecker as Harry Doyle; directed by David S. Ward. This episode is brought to you in part by Rocket Money. Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney dot com slash WHM. That’s RocketMoney dot com slash WHM. RocketMoney dot com slash WHM. And also by Astepro! Get fast-acting nasal allergy symptom relief with Astepro. Go to Astepro allergy dot com for a discount so you can Astepro and Go! today. A-S-T-E-P-R-O allergy dot com. Astepro and Go! Use as directed for relief of nasal congestion, runny nose, sneezing and itchy nose due to allergies. Be sure to catch us on tour this spring, y’all! We’ll be in Atlanta on 4/25 (Gamer), Houston on 5/14 (Robocop 2), and Austin on 5/15 (From Dusk Till Dawn)! Tickets are on sale now and meet & greets are happening at all shows, so head to our website and pick up your tix today—we wanna see you out there! Make the WHM Merch Store your one-stop shop for all your We Hate Movies merch-related needs! Including new NIGHT VISION, Too Old For This Shit and Time Runner designs!

this week on the program. Get ready to strike out hard. We're talking about Major League. Up to the plate. I'm Andrew Jupin. I'm questionable mascot, Steven Sadek. Eric Siska. Mild thing. Chris Cabin. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone, welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in. As always, that's right. We are kicking off Sheenpro, one of the dumbest theme months on record. Awful. Talking about Major League. from 1989 written, written, directed by David S. Ward.

Oh, man, the king. King Ralph, the man himself. King Ralph directed King Ralph this guy did. So he's going to live in heaven for the rest of it? Oh, yeah, yeah. That's all halla, right there. Oh, definitely. Great film. Yes. Oh, wonderful. Down Periscope, not so much.

Not so much. This, it's all right. You might be asking why Charlie Sheet and the answer is, I don't really know. I think we just had a bunch of Charlie Sheet movies in, like, in the hopper. And we're like, let's just. We haven't done them. There's so many we have. done exactly like we've literally been talking for like years about doing men at work yes i feel

uh the rookie has come up a lot so this is kind of just a nice way it's a dump it's a it's really it's just a dump yeah we're taking a sheen taking a huge sheen all over the feed this big hot sheen which is uh but this is an interesting sheen movie because he's a second build here and it had been a really long time since i'd seen this i've seen a few times over the over the years, but I had way more of a memory, and I think this is kind of me possibly mixing part two a little bit of Sheen

being in the movie more. I forgot how much of this movie is straight up the Tom Berringer show. It's like an ensemble. I think you just nailed its main problem. Pick a perspective. It's well, Barringer's specific, the Berringer's. You got beef with Berringer, bro?

I mean, anybody who's an enterprising little YouTuber out there, Eric, if you would like to put this on, The creepy misdoubt fire trailer, you can do that so easily with the Tom Berger's storyline in this, you just take out all the pleakly Barry Manilow ballads that are playing out over him and René Rousseau's and put a, he legit, he legit, like actually like full on like the definition of stalking, he does it. Corners her in one's like literally corners her.

She tries to give a fake phone number. She tries to get away from this dude. And he's just like, I don't think so. I'm following your home. Classic starker mistake, though, the first time it goes to follow her home. Oops, this is in her house and I just walked in anyway. Oh, now I'm in a high society party and they're going to look at me. Better kill everybody.

Oh, my God, I should probably kill him. Oh, my God, I should probably kill him. Yeah. Speaking of conflating the second one, which I guess I have also seen a lot of and maybe even seen more than the first one, I was like, where's Randy Quaid? Where on earth is Randy Quaid? He's in the second one. I'm often thinking that. Where is it? Starwackers.

They got it more from like a self-defense perspective. Is Randy Quaid going to jump out of some closet and stab me the death? You have to be ready at all times. I would love to be stabbed to death by Randy Quaid. And if he wants to do it, let him do it. And this is legal documentation that it's okay if he doesn't. We will be giving Eric's home address later in the episode for people who are interested. Oh, that's not for people that are.

did for Randy Quaid. Then I could plan little traps around the house. It'll be fun. We're going to broadcast it in a pitch only Randy Quaid can hear. Yes. The dog pitch.

Get it out there. Or the far pitch. Someone's given out Erick's Andreas. Because he plays like one of the like Cleveland chorus in the second movie like You guys suck. That's where they were like from this first movie

they were like man we keep cut into all like the bleacher creatures and whatnot. They're all just like Cleveland nothing people why don't we throw like an actual known face out there oh my god Twinsday into this movie where you get some crowd shots whole like real

crowd shots oh my god chill you right to the bone it is insane we do start ironically enough we start on the first shot of the movie is the Cleveland Guardian which is pretty fucking funny yes you're totally right gave them the idea to rename the team which is you know and I mean

good on them you know He's honestly like all this shit, the TP, he, because Bob Yucer is like, we're coming out of the TP going on a warpath. And I'm like, oh, man. Oh, dude. The tribe, they're calling them. The tribe. Yeah, I mean, it's endless.

Every time Bob Yucer opens his mouth of this, like every other time. Yes. Because I do think the times that he's not doing that, he's so fucking funny in this movie. He's great. But it's just like, he was throwing like one after another. And I was like, how do you keep coming up with these Bob Uker? My God. The name of the show is.

T.P. Talk. Yes. Oh, yes. Radio show. We're going to have a powwow with these two. And they changed it first before the Red Skids, which is worse. The Redskins was always worse. Yes. Yes. Is the Atlanta Braves

still that? Is that okay? Braves are still there. The Chiefs are still the Chiefs. You will catch a couple of Tomahawks in those chief games that everyone is like, don't do it. Stop it. Well, the Braves are going to get a hog chopped, don't they? We're going to be called We're going to be the clowns next year.

Don't the Braves still do it? I think so, yeah. It is just like, what are any of you people doing out there? Well, you know, where my daddy did it, so I should get to do it. What was your high school mascots? We were the blue bison. Yes. I was the Indians.

Oh, really? What is it now? Out of business high school? I think it's abandoned, yeah. I think it's the Eagles now. I was about saying, we were the Silesian Eagles. Okay. You should have been like

the Salesian Holy Eagles or something in fucking Catholic school. Like the Pope sends out the Eagles to attack people. Go my minions. Does you have any special powers? The Pope? Well, it depends upon who he asks.

He talks to God. Yeah, who doesn't? He's a chatty-cathy though. Limited teleportation. Like he has to be able to see it to be able to help. He has to be able to help. No, I can't break into that bank vault.

I am sorry. Oh, my God. Imagine the showed up in the White House uninvited. That'd be cool. That was in one of those movies, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's a big in X2, I think.

Yes, he almost kills the president. That's your favorite. That's your favorite movie. One of my favorite movies for sure. Was it 25 on the list, right? I believe. It's creep it up. It's the best X-Men movie. It's X-2 is your second favorite and your first favorite is X-Men. No, no, no, no.

X-2 is much better than X-Men. Yeah, yeah. They came a long way there. Oh, interesting. I feel like I have the opposite reaction, but it's been forever since I've seen them. Yeah. Also, the film, Scareer. I think is above all those. And don't worry folks, Major League is a nothing movie

so we can just talk about it. I mean, I like all the Cleveland stuff that we're watching at the beginning. However, this Randy Newman. This Randy Newman song, who we are just like, are you trying to put me to sleep? I'm trying to watch. Shouldn't I be excited to watch the movie? Just because he says Cleveland repeatedly in it. He belongs in jail. Cleveland, the river's going to buy. It's going to point.

And the river. You know what you did? Get me the graph that shows like the correlation of Randy Newman getting popular and the correlation of us finding lead in the water supply. I bet it is a dead on graph. At least I love L.A., which is an

ironic song is bouncy. It's a little bit. I love L.A. but it's better, it's better, but I'll give it up for the rest of the river. I'll tell you what though. Now that you're spelling it out like this, maybe it is appropriate. Dude, I've been to the city of Cleveland, zero bounce.

Zero fucking bounce in that town. To that point, like, I also do not like the song, but for it to be like, city of lights, and then you see a guy, like, with half his entire body's dirt, and he's drinking beer and fucking snorting something out of his nose.

Like, you're like, okay, it's a little interplay here. The reality of the situation is it's kind of dirty and, you know, working class, but like, fucking Randy Newman's like, the Calhooker River. And you're just like, okay, I guess there's some matches. This is, that song is, like, related to, like, the river, like, lit on fire.

Yeah. So that's what's about, yeah, yeah. I, uh, my wife, my wife's mother moved to Cleveland. So I've gone there a bunch now, uh, for families. Any bounce updates, too? That's how much the bounce update. But this movie's a sacred cow out there. We were, like, sure.

Uh, we were, we happened to be there by accident on opening day. Uh, and we just went to, like. Of be ball? Of baseball. Yes. And it was like, I think we're going for Easter, which they are usually pretty close. Yeah, it's coming up. That's also why we're doing this first.

All right, Steve's at the mound. Go ahead. We just wind up going, like, we're in town. Oh, cool sports parties get a thing. Everyone there is dressed like all the waitresses are dressed like Charlie Sheen. What? They have the glasses that they're wearing the Vaughn thing. They have on regular cable, they're playing major league. It goes through.

It ends. Guess what's happening. It's starting again. What you're talking about playing it on? cable. So were they rewinding a DVR? No, no. I think it was just an all-day major league. And like a local Cleveland affiliate. Yeah, or something. Yeah, it was just literally, it had commercials. It was on cable. It ended. And we're like, I was like, I wonder if they're going to play the second one. No, it's the first one again. Actually, smart ideas. I prefer that to you're watching the second one, if I can.

Well, because your all-day elf nonsense. Biggest, uh, biggest problem there with part two. And I, well, I think part two is like a funny movie. It's been, again, 15, 20 years to see it. I don't even remember part- part two, they fucking replace Wesley with, I believe, Omar Epps. Yes, they do. And he's still playing Willie May Hayes. Yes. And it's like, oh, that's a fucking step down. It's also been five years and now everyone's March,

apparently, like I was reading about it last night. It takes place the next season. Even though five years have passed and now Willie Mays Hayes is now younger and everyone else is much older. Yeah, that's kind of weird. But he's a lightning bolt in this movie. Like he is really unbelievable

Desperate to be a star A shot in the arm of this movie for sure I feel like there's some deleted stuff with him Because there's like this When we when he gets to camp It's like where this guy come from And then later on they're like We don't know where he came from

But blah blah but there's like a sub story About him Yeah Either like talented Mr. Ripleying his way somewhere There's like the real Willie Mays Hayes dead in a ditch somewhere Yeah he's in a fucking box car In a bag That's awesome

Why did you pick the name Willie Mays Hayes? It was available. My original name is Dennis Don Draper. Well, that's a part of the because it's an ensemble because it's about a baseball team.

So you kind of get this characterization spread thin throughout. We're mostly focused on Tom Berringer. But we kind of want to focus on Sheen, but it doesn't really pan out. He's definitely taking all the other energy. Like Snipes is not given that kind of level because his story doesn't matter as much.

like Sheen's whole like finding out he needs glasses not pitching right like they really build that up I do agree like here's one of those movies where I'm like you could give me a little extra yeah two hours two hours two hours and ten minutes I might be I might be thinking this is a genuinely like really good movie because it's it's exactly a dromedy you know what I mean it's not it's not quite funny enough to be a comedy

and the only time it gets really broad is when unfortunately Dennis Hayesberg shows up and that's just we'll talk about that for a long time So the beginning is the owner dies and his showgirl wife wants to move the team from Cleveland to Miami good idea and wants to

and the only way to do that there's a clause in the contract if the attendance goes below 800,000 they can have an escape clause they can leave. Right and this is sort of I guess loosely based on the woman that inherited the Rams. The Rams yes the L.A. Rams who then she moved

to her her hometown of St. Louis. And when she finally is off the team, they finally moved it back to Los Angeles. Oh, okay. I mean, to me, it was funny because she, I mean, it's evil woman syndrome. It's 1989. Oh, yeah. And it's a woman.

So, but she is doing almost exactly what Bobby, what's his name from the A's was doing in Moneyball? Like, get cheap players to play like and see if it went, but she's evil. So she's like, but it's because I'm doing a producer's scam. Yes. It's

producers money ball they were actually trying to win but she's an evil woman she is trying to producers her season there is also there's a ref the movie the Rams thing yeah there was another I don't know if it was the dude who owned the twins or something the clause part of this

story was another real life baseball thing from the 70s where it was another like if attendance for three seasons in a row was something this guy got to do something. And I think it was maybe something to do with, like, building a new stadium. I don't really remember the details. The weird thing about, I mean, she's a fine.

I mean, she's an evil woman, absolutely, with the capital E, capital W in a movie that doesn't have, as that and René Rousseau being stalked. Yeah, she's a victim. But he, but you also have, like, it actually, it doesn't make sense after a certain point. Like, once they start doing well and, like, shouldn't you be like, oh, shit, the money's pouring in? and also like you've lost your whatever ability to hit that low threshold but she's still like I don't care they're gonna be flying coach

and it's like well no it's already too late no you should probably move more into the team maybe they'll win the fucking world series eventually you should start going with it yeah you gotta go the other way no but again you guys evil woman this is all about a person

who despises living in the city of Cleveland which is relatable for a lot lot of folks out there. So she's like, she's not going to give it up, man, until the very last game, she's crossing her fingers.

She is an e-vail woman for sure, but at the same time, it's like, what do you want another guy in here? I still at least, because women are evil in real life. I've seen tons of, I've dated them.

Yes. No, keep going. There are evil women. I did. That's all I'm saying. Did anyone notice, did anyone look up the trivia on the Wild Thing edition?

No. It's on Wikipedia, so it seems, real. There's a version of this movie called the Wild Thing Edition, a cut. An alternate ending where I think Charles Seifers, yeah. I think he goes up to her at the end. He's like, I, you know,

I can't believe you let this happen, blah, blah, blah. Look, they're winning. And she's like, that actually was the point. The whole, she's like actually reveals to be like this huge Cleveland Indian fan. To motivate them. Yes, to motivate them. And that was like the twist ending. And like, this is common this is a common motivation technique. My father was doing it. And then

like test audience is like, no, she has to be a villain so they cut that. Well, I mean, it's like, no, Robert Redford's the good guy in the end of an indecent proposal, too. Like, he's just trying to get them closer. I'm just trying to motivate your marriage by plowing your wife. Oh, my God. It was great, by the way. Don't know if I mentioned that. I'll pay you one million dollars to have your wife fuck me while you move

to Miami. Ain't I a saint? You might want to get tested, by the way. See ya. Been around the world around the world. Ayah, yeah. But yeah, so that's like sort of the setup. And yeah, to

Chris's point, like, I do want a little more lived in stuff because first they call James Gammon. The great. James Gavin. My voice is already breaking. I'll do your movie. God damn it. I'll be there. We're going to take off a piece of this cardboard cutout

for every game you win. Now, my contract stipulates. I need to have great. a glass to gargle before I work. I need the good stuff. Not the, not the easy sand stuff you're getting on the boardwalk. Oh, what do you got there?

Y'all take a alopeio and a gasoline and put a chains on there too. Oh, yeah. You boys have been playing well so she's getting more naked, but it's okay because she used to be a showgirl or something. Do you have those

tacks that they throw to make tires pop? I just want to eat a whole bunch of them. It's crazy that he's not talking through his throat like a cigarette. I know. But the first scene with him is he's, I guess he's a minor league coach and he's running, he's been coaching the Toledo

mudhens for 35 years. But he's also running a tire store and he's like, well I can do I can rotate your tires for you. And I'm like, I want a little bit of that. I just want like maybe two minutes of him doing

something with tires and being like, well, I Yes, I will coach to Cleveland, Indian. Little character things are all over the storm. Just like, if you gave me a little bit more, it makes your movie feel more like a move, like the way, when they can't get the whirlpool to work, and they have to bring the fucking boat motor in. I'm like, just show me who got that and how did they get that?

Little shit like that would make it, because this has total comedy syndrome of like, it feels just like a bunch of good scenes. Yes. It doesn't feel like a movie. Well, to that point, The boat thing, how it just appears out of nowhere, is very much like a Marks Brothers feeling sight gag,

where you would be like, how did Harpo get that boat motor? You don't know, they're not going to show you that. You could do that. Like, literally, they just, like, open a closet and, like, oh, he's a boat motor. Like, in the locker room. Who took that boat motor?

That was going to be my breakfast. I was going to put an egg on that boat motor and eat her all up. I'll go out to the parking lot and just find myself a Cadillac. Chew on. All right, fine. Splitsies. I get the thing that shreds. You get the motor. It's a melted cheddar all over. That catty lack can eat it up good. This Lou Brown character is the glue that holds this too.

He absolutely is. Now, and the mustache, by the way, is beyond pure. Oh, dude, that's great. It's great. This is like my dad level mustache. This is the mustache my father has. Oh, nice. If this were, not David S. Ward's Major League, if it were, if it were Zach Snipes, Major League Part 1. This whole little montage we have here of Lou getting the players would be the whole fucking movie and then we'll play baseball in part 2.

To your point, yes. I am also glad this movie is an hour and 45 minutes even though like it's, you know, oh, I would like a little more here, a little less there. You could have done something with that 15 minutes. Sure. But yes, to your point, yes. I'm glad we fucking get to it.

Tom Berringer is murdering prostitutes in Mexico. Pretending masquerading to play baseball. this woman long dead laying naked next to him. I'll tell you what, he is, and maybe we had some method acting on our hands here, you look at this guy in this scene, like, Barringer answers the phone, like, oh, my God, I'm going to vomit.

Oh, my God. He has Primo hangover. Like, you feel the hangover coming off the screen? I mean, that's always, but I mean, he's got that. He looks gruff. He always looks annoyed. Sure. Barringer's got some strengths here.

That's method actor. Incredible, incredible performer. I do believe there would be something like, well, yes, we do know where he is, but he's been questioned in a series of murders. And on the wall of each one, the word lynn has been

written in blood. And we don't quite know. We've been calling them the leans, the lynn slashing. Yeah. And we don't know exactly where it's going. Every red-headed woman in Mexico is now dead. Yeah, well, I still need them on the baseball teams who put them on the phone.

I don't care if there was a copy of Moby Dick founded all the crimes. You get him here right now. He's escalating. But he thinks it's a prank call. Yes. Which is great. He's offered to come try out. And he's like, ooh, that's not. That's not fair to it. Oh, my God, who put you up to this? Oh, my God, who put you up to this?

You should have released the Yankees, you fucking piece of shit. Yes. Oh, that's right. So it's Barringer is, uh, platoons the big one. That's the, that's the, that's the, that's, yes. Which was also a substitute. Yeah, the substitute. And the sniper series. Who could forget the Sniper series? I mean, he's still making it my thing. There is a law, I once, I never actually started it. Barack Obama was present when a sniper was made.

100%. I think Trump was president when a fucking Sniper movie came out. Oh, I'm sure. That's the way, that's the Stephen Seagall one, right? Didn't you eventually do sniper movies? Well, this, the Bar-I know, I know, is he, that's a franchise. I'm talking about other-ups. He did an American Sniper rip-off.

Oh, God. That's what I'm thinking about. Yeah, that checks. The American Sniper franchise, which I remember being kind of disappointing, but I should go back to it. I had this whole plan. I looked them all up on Wikipedia. I was like, I'm going to, it'll be so stupid. And then I'll write about it in the Big Daddy Dispatch. I'm going to watch all the sniper movies. And then I never watched any of them. But it is one of those things. We are just rotating Berenger out some meat cleaver face. Nobody takes up the hell. Yeah, like last year was like sniper reassessment. Yes, we're doing a lot of that. Remember, I mean, I think he was used very. well in Inception. Yeah.

Let me hit pause real quick. Because here it is for the VHS trailer game. Let's, we'll do, we'll do Price's Right Rules. And, how many sniper movies are there? Ooh, nice.

Okay. I'll say six. He's got six. There are seven sniper movies. There are seven sniper movies. Ten. Ten, exactly. 10. Exactly.

That's incredible. I got to give the guy five big points for that. I think honestly, they may have made more since the last time I did the count. The last one sniper grit with which is an acronym. Is it in space? G.R. IT. Go global response intelligence team. Yes, of course.

September 26th, 2003. Okay. Oh, Biden in office. Holy fuck. Okay. How many. star Tom Barron. That, that, it's hard to tell. I think he's out after like two or three. Yeah. Let's see. Three tops. He's, me, he was out after the first substitute, right? Yes. Beckett. The late

tree Williams comes in in part two. Beckett. Oh, no, Brandon Beckett. Okay. So Thomas Beckett is, uh, Thomas Beckett is his character. What the fuck. His son, Sergeant Brandon Beckett takes over the franchise. Of course. Let's go, Brandon. He came, wait, sniper assassin's end. You, You better believe he comes back in 2020. Legendary sniper Thomas Beckin and his son, Brandon Beckett, are on the runner from the CIA. Oh, my God, let's do one last mission. Oh, my God, let's do one last mission. We're going to open sniper and sons.

You see, son. Sniper and son. You see, son, I've perfected a way of killing any target while sitting down in a desk chair. So how many of Berringer? It looks like. Oh, no, like four or five. Okay. More than I thought.

Healthy helpings, but I'm sure like five seconds at some of his later one. Yeah, yeah. So that's Barringer's intro. Then we get to Sheen, who I do like this fucking delivery. It's like Ricky Vaughn. Like, oh, we're going to need you next week in spring training.

And he's in jail. And he's like, I don't think I'm going to make it. It's so funny. I mean, I think probably my favorite Charlie Sheen performance might be Ferris Bueller. This is pretty close to it. Yeah. It's pretty much what that dude did after leaving Illinois.

Right. Well, Ferris Bueller was exactly his real life persona. He's actually being drugged out and doesn't know where he is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that's him that we are introduced, yes, to Dennis Haysbert is Pedro Serrano, who's a Cuban player, who practices air quotes because this is a podcast, voodoo. Yeah. Yes, he defected from Cuba for religious freedom to practice voodoo.

To, uh, Jubo. A. Jobu. Hi, Joe Boo. And, you know, it's supposed to be silly and, you know, whatever. But like at the same time, the Harris character who's like the Christian on the team. Chelsea Ross, by the way. Is that the actress? The actress name, yeah.

He comes up and stuff. Yeah, quite a lot. He's presented as a real buffoon. Yeah. And like, he's constantly lecturing Serrano on, you know, the merits of Jesus Christ or whatever. But then in the plane, when there's a problem, he's just reading Hustler, magazine out of the open. Oh, yeah.

Like, this guy's a complete classic Christian. Classic Christian. Exactly. But speaking of class, this was like the last gasp of, which we loved in the 70s and 80s, specifically voodoo black guy jokes. We love, like, it's just like,

like those John Candy movie, I'm thinking of what John Candy movie had? Going Berserk has that all over it. You're right. All this like, weekend at Bernie's. We get at Bernie's too. Yeah, that's even later than this.

Yeah. But it finally goes away, which it should. because we're just like that we love that witch doctor horse shit and it's just all these writers that have no fucking clue like what that religion is or any of that predator two as well predator too absolutely yes the serpent in the rainbow but that takes a little more seriously that's right yeah but it was a big comedy trope of just like uh-oh they're gonna bubobo boil me alive or something here it's a comedy yeah and everyone is broad and dumb yes Chelsea Ross by the way who is uh Harris

who's also kind of most famous on Mad Men as what you would call it Connie, Connie. Connard Hill. Oh, wow. He's kind of like Lane Smith and soda. You know what I mean? It's like, you got Lane Smith as like is solid, is, you know, just, that's neat. You put soda and you get Chelsea Ross.

I was looking it up because he's looking old as fuck. And again, I hadn't seen. Still around. I hadn't seen this movie in a long time and I was like, what does Harris do? Oh, Harris is a pitcher in this movie. So then I looked it up and I was looking up how old Chelsea Ross was making this movie. This dude in this movie

who looks like an old man on that pictures man 46 years ago. Really? 46, fucking 6 years older than we are. That guy never saw a glass of water. He didn't throw on the floor. 16 years older than me, but yeah. I do like the fact that he's... Dude, you look terrible for 30.

I, you know, okay. All right. All right. But you look fantastic for 40, though. Right. So maybe you'll age into it. Maybe, yeah. I think, yeah.

I'm on the trajectory. you're a beautiful man Eric oh my thank you Christopher it's amazing that his name is actually Ed Harris yeah that is funny like I just kept I think I'm like I'm gonna pitch today

Harris is like one of the older guys that's just been around Corbin Burnson L.A. Law's Corbin Bronson L.A. Law I believe going at the time right 89 I think it was on the air that's a show that what just completely the earth swallowed

like what do you mean? It's not never in syndication never comes back I don't even know if it's streaming you know what i mean what is there any shows like that law order that's the only one but it's i was trying to get to that point yeah that is the only show that you're right you're right though there's all the doctor shows like there's like there's like homicide life on the street there's tons of shows that are just gone that's a show that's famously unstreamable homicide yeah that is nice and because it's also it's david's i mean come on it's god

i think new york undercover is another one isn't that it's a cop show that's just completely vanished from... I feel like they that finally got... That's some place. One of the Fox streamers got it or something. But L.A. law was huge. Yeah, it was humongous. But yeah, and Corbyn, wait, he's that Dr. Giggles. He's... The dentist. He's the dentist. He's the dentist.

Apologies. Five big points. There it is. He's also hilariously annoyed by George Costanza on that Seinfeld. Dude, fucking Corbin Burnson. Oh, right. And George went like commiserating while the Tonight shows at commercial. Just like,

that guy backstage, kind of like a weird, wild-looking bald guy. Yeah, that was the guy I was talking. And he keeps wanting to move the show out of somewhere else. He wants to move cheers out of the bar. And L.A. law, he's telling a story about like, so this one, I'm dating this girl all the time. She asked me to feed her cat while she's out of town. Oh, I forget about the cat.

Two, three, four days. He kills the cat. Corbyn Brinson relaying the story to Jay Leno on the show is so funny. And then he just got to fucking Jason Alexander stewing in the audience. A real nut. him and George went both call him a real nut which is funny anyway yeah so he's Roger Dorn I believe yes he's one of the only like holdovers from this Cleveland team he's good or he's what do they say he's terrible but expensive because he's like a

he's a free he got paid and then like just kind of stop giving a shit yes right right right which does happen in sports he's yep he's working his way towards his retirement he's way more concerned with like the portfolio and he's seen at one point reading Forbes's magazine. I mean, he's doing what honestly athletes have to be smart about. It's like, what is the next part of my career after, you know, I just naturally retire or have a

knee blows out. It is a good, I mean, like, in terms of like a movie, I mean, it is broad. And again, there is literal voodoo in it. But like, I think it's a fun world to watch like a team come together and like, you know, all the different guys in the team, this guy believes this about the sport.

This guy believes that about the sport. It's fun to look at that stuff. And also, it's very easy. Thankfully, baseball is like the one sport where like, I believe almost anyone is a baseball player. You know what I mean? Like, yeah. It's, it's, it's, right, because that tubelard, Babe Ruth. Is that what you're good? I mean, tiny guys, tall

guys, fat guys, skinny guys. Oh yeah. I had the first, it's amazing you say that. I had the first time in my life where I didn't believe someone was a baseball player in a movie just the other day. Really? Was it the rookie? The little kid? It was not the rookie. I wish. It does have any baseball on it.

but it was I meant rookie of the year oh okay oh the rookies another Charlie Sheet movie we are doing soon but the rookie is also that Bruce Willis movie where he right isn't there a rookie movie

the kid oh the kid that's what I'm thinking you're Disney's the Dennis Quaid oh yes that's what I'm thinking Dennis Quaid Dennis Quaid is in one day might be called the rookie

that's actually my apologize oh yes he's like an older guy that's going to be paying this okay Chris I'm apologize who do you not fine convincing. Michael O'Keefe is in a How Ashby movie called The Slugger's Wife. Yeah. And he's just, it's, it's not there.

Like none of the physicality there. And I know I actually kind of like Michael O'Kee. So I wasn't like, this guy's gonna fucking blow it. But it's just not there. It's about baseball. It is about baseball. But does he hit his wife? No. I thought maybe that would be like, maybe that's what they were talking about. No, no. The sluggers. Danny Noon from Caddyshack. Oh, yeah. I'd have a hard time believing that guy's a baseball player. He just doesn't put in the, I mean, it's a bad movie period, but like, especially back then you, it's

like, oh, it's a young guy, put him in a uniform. Yeah, right. And he's got the fit of it. He just doesn't put any work. But that's the thing is, like you do something with basketball, it's like, you need everyone to be six, fucking 10 or else. I'm not believing a fucking second. Exactly. That's why, that's where all those lifetime movies falter because they always have the little tiny guy on the

basketball team. It just put them on the soccer team. That is, it's a baseball team. This is contextualizing everything for everyone. Baseball for normal people, basketball. all for freaks. Yes. Uh-huh. You need to be a different

kind of human being to play basketball. Which is crazy, right? Super tall monster kind of people. Like, they weren't like devising the sport to be played by monsters. It just is now.

It just sort of happened. Oh, Ben, you know, if you're seven feet or above, you're having a really good time playing. They know what they should do? You're closer to the fucking rim. Raise the goddamn baskets.

Fuck this shit. Everyone's six, nine or seven, seven and five eighths or whatever the fuck. Nine, 20 feet tall, whatever these balls? onions are. Raise that basket 30 feet in the air, my friends. Dunking should not be a thing in desk. It should not be a thing.

No one should be able to physically dunking. You know what? They're showing off is a thing. You know what? And we hate that in America. We do not like the showing off. Well, I don't like America, crazy. So we get down to spring training and everybody shows up. I will say a thing here. What definitely helps this movie is this R rating for language? Yes. Oh, it's all over it. I love it. The profanity peppered throughout this movie really works well because you don't expect it really in a lot of sports movies. And like when

Sheen pulls up, he's like, he's been hitchhiking, some biker like drops them off. And somebody has a really good I don't know if it's gammon or whoever's like, who the fuck is that? And I was like, whoa. Yes. Bring me more of that sharp profanity. Oh my God. I love Tom Barringer showing up here because he's got like a blazer on with a

Ticante beer t-shirt. Oh, yeah. Well, he's got, he's wearing this fucking Don Johnson Miami Vice jacket, this whole movie. And it's like, dude, that ain't you. But as was the style at the time. People were trying, trying to emulate all the job. Lou, I had to kill somebody at the airport and take their identity.

I'm kind of a wanted man in Mexico. And if you could just put me on this team and give me a different name, that would be great. And, yeah, I won't be playing in Detroit. That's not going to happen. I will also stay out of Milwaukee. Oh, Colorado. Yeah, you don't want me out with the Rock. that's not going to happen. Apparently this is all filmed in Milwaukee pretty much.

Yeah. The Brewer's Stadium doubled for. Oh, interesting. Yeah, yeah. Um, so what's weird about, and I don't know, like, I would assume, because again, it's like she's shortchanging the team and whatever. So I guess like the accommodations are supposed to be shitty, but this like, fold metal jacket bunk beds. Is that real? That's what I'm saying. I don't know. There's, and maybe it was once, but there's no way. not now. Now there's just too much money in the sport. Everybody just makes it, you know, corrupt. They have to be comfortable. At this point, they would be very into that point. I mean, yeah, but like, I don't know, there was money in the sport in 89.

Well, actually, it's funny, when Tom Berringer goes to the study party and he's like, I make the lead minimum, I looked it up. Yeah. It's 68 grand, which was about a buck 75. Okay. In inflation. Not bad at all. Which is why I don't know why he's living in a flop house with Charlie Sheen at the end of this movie. Well, that's what, yeah, I was like, who's living with who in that? Yes. Is Tom Berger Ruman with Charlie Schumer? Like, give me another 10 minutes. I want to know what that

living situation is. Because, yeah, like, it's important because at the end of the movie, he has sex with somebody, which will talk about. And like, Tom Berger's like, whoa, what the fuck happened? What are you doing at his house, Tom Berger? I'm like, oh, I guess they're roommates. Right, yeah, you find out then. Yeah, well, yeah, the end of the movie that they've been living together. To sign a lease.

or any kind of apartment contract, I'd have to use my real name. As I said, I am wanted by several federal organizations at the moment. Tom Riple, no, Donner, no. Richard Ripley. There we go. That's the one. R.R. I like that. Dick Ripley. You can go on me Dick Rip.

Yeah, hell yeah. I'm going to rip your dick off. Oh, that's all. Dick Rip. That's what the boys with the Country Cup do by that? I would be at Country Club. I don't know. You know that guy who had a name like that, Rip Torn, right? Rip Torn. What a, what a, what a, Fun name. Great thing. That's this.

Perfect for him too. Yeah. Sure. Just beautifully sums up. Riptorn cage match. Riptorn James Gammon. Who's getting out of that? Oh, boy. Oh, that was, that was how many drugs do each of them get beforehand? Oh, no. There's no drugs. It's just fucking warm beer and whiskey. That's all that's going on there. Is that what was? You think you're better than you think you're better than me? I'll eat your goddamn head off your neck.

I'll eat your penis's head. I choked Norman mad for 15 minutes. You think I'm going to go against you. Bring it, old man, even though you're my age. Oh, just try to bite my cock old timer. You come on here. We're both dead. Oh, that's it.

I'm going to crab walk over to your cock and bite it. Yeah, that's right. We're both dead. It's a ghost fight. It's a ghost fight, but I still be chewing razor blades. Bring it to your big old dick. Wow, what a fucking psycho.

Tricks on you, my dick is Razor Blaze. At least in my career, I was never ejaculated on by an elephant. Fair point. Let's go to hell together, holding hands. And they did.

It's a beautiful story. Happily ever after. Two hearts are better than one. So, whatever, we get some locker room, machismo. here Corbyn Brinson's given Charlie Sheen some shit about his bad haircut. Which is a bad hair. We gotta be

careful. It's a real bad haircut. Oh, it's terrible. But it works for him. At the time and stuff. Yeah, you know, a mullet with a fun shave. It's something different, you know. It's style. It earns him the nickname. The source of, you know, a sea of Halloween costumes. Oh, I think so? Yeah. Oh, I've seen people go as wild.

You have? Absolutely. Where do you live? 1990? I didn't know that you had There was a time limit Where do you live? 1992 When did the sequel come out? I don't know.

Way later. So that makes sense. They took their time with that one. Oh, no. I thought he was talking about the third one, which was quite after that second movie. I found out today that there was a third one of these. And the fact that bacula's in it.

Bacula, by the way, and rip off of this movie, a movie that my brother called me the other day about is like, why do we like this as kids? It's a great question. Necessary roughness. Yes. You know what's funny is I looked up this movie on on HBO Max or Max or whatever the fuck we're calling it.

It's just Max. It's a max for you guys. It's cleaner. Yeah. You look this movie up and then under it. Yep. Because the logo of this is the baseball with the Mohawk, which is like what? That's not even wild thing.

I guess that's supposed to be an Indian. Yes. Yeah. Native thing. Like, God. It's part of the movie, folks. It's not me. And then underneath that, they had

Necessary Roughness as Auto came up. And that's a fun loving football with horns. It's a football with horns, sunglasses, and a cool mustache. He's having a great time. Two balls, having a ball. Now, Necessary Roughness, Sinbad in that movie? I've definitely seen it. It's been ages.

Sinbad is in that movie. Rob Schneider is in that movie. Is Ted McGinley in that? Probably. Kathy Ireland is in that film. I think Zengief is in that movie. More than likely, yeah. Did you say Tom Schneider?

Football, save yourself. What the fuck? Who did you say? Rob Schneider, I said. Rob Schneider. That makes sense. Ted McKinley is in... The third of these.

Yeah, he's also in this major league back to the minor. I think he isn't necessarily rough it. But like, I mean, yes, they were trying to copy this. I think it's all trying to do slap shot. Yes. Yeah, that's true.

That's actually a great movie. That's a good point. That's the blue. print, right? And it's such a fucking good movie. It's a better movie than this. Paul fucking Newman, by the way. That's how that shit works. What a looker. But that's what's great. It's Paul Newman,

Michael Antkeen, Sheriff Harry S. Truman from Twin Peaks, and then no one. Yes. It's all players. So many of those dudes were like just hockey players. Get over. Get over here, Paul Newman. I'm going to eat your puck. Also, you get like at least five

playthrus of it's all right. And it's going strong. We're going to get right back to where we're going from. Yeah, there we go. Nothing's cool. Nothing. Something. Yeah.

You get like five or six play-thrus. It's very nice. Yeah. Slapshot is a five-star motion picture. Absolutely. And it's the same like scuzzy beer swilly. You know what I mean? Yeah.

So long story short, they suck. Wouldn't you believe it? So like everybody's got their problems. Charlie Sheen has good velocity. It doesn't have control. Tom Barringer's knees. are shot. Wesley Snipes can't hit, he can't hit. He can

run really fast. That's his whole thing. I love this is, it's a very wacky, and again, this is so weird though, now that I'm thinking of it, this is also kind of a bizarre Marx Brothers moment when the security guards come in the middle of the night, they're all sleeping. This is when I was like, somebody's going to get fucking beaten with a sock full soap. And like, the security guards come in and they're like, oh, here's the guy that nobody knows why he's here, it didn't get invited or whatever. And they

pick his bed up. He's on the top bunk of the bunk. Wesley Snipes. They pick him up and carry him out and then like he wakes up outside sleeping and he's like, oh shit, did I get caught already? That's such a Marx Brothers joke. It's very funny. It is. And it's again, like where is this guy coming from? What happened to

the real Williamese? I'm telling you, dude, box cars sack death. But yeah, he like then wakes up and like beats everybody in a race. He's so fast. Yeah, but he can't. In his full pajamas. They're already running and he beats. them all. Well, this is like his, I mean, like,

he had been in like, what he, the other, the football movie with Wildcats, the, oh, yeah, with Goldie Hawn, yeah. That was, like, kind of his first movie, like, he's been in TV. Like, Wesley was just not around this much. And, like, he's so young, too. Like, the first shot of him in this movie, I was like, my goodness, he's like a little baby.

Is it his next movie King of New York? It might be. Oh, that's, stay tuned for the WLM fair. Hell yeah. I love that movie, but he's, but he's so hungry in this. You could just see, like, he loves to be on camera he's a firecracker and you see he can't look away from him he's he really holds the screen it's so great uh yes it's like your classic like everybody's got their problems and like boy does this uh skipper have his tried and true methods of like getting

you out of bad habits right it's like all right wesley snipes like uh every time you hit a ball straight up and not a just a real like bouncer through the infield that's 20 pushups so it's like that kind of shit. He does do that to somebody else. What's the, what's another one that he does? If you do something, I'm making it. It's like 20 sit-ups or something. Yes. I think it's to Corbin-Burnson. Yeah, Dorn. Yeah. If you know, he won't

like, dive his body for the play. Yes, exactly. Tom Barrencher says, if he doesn't do it, he'll cut his nuts off and make him swallow it. So that is another threat. That's later in the film. And that is fucking dead serious. No doubt about it. He's like, I'm going to come to your house on a Sunday afternoon. I'm

to kiss your wife on the cheek and threaten your life. I swear to God. You know what Sundays are? It's the day I eat someone's testicles. It might just be yours. Call ball chomp Sundays. I've done it before. I've done it to my own father.

I thought of everything he knows. Meanwhile, where are those goddamn quarters? I'm getting hungry. Yum, I love to eat quarters. Most baseball skippers prefer some bumble gum or sunflower seeds. I'm just eating quarters and screws. That's what I have after my rock soup. It's lunchtime. Time for me to go to the scrapyard and dig in for my meal.

Yeah, that's right. I'm actually technically a Gauron from the legend of Zilder franchise. I eat rocks every day. Well, that explains why my teeth are bloody all the time. Well, it would appear to me that at this spring training, facility the pitcher's mound is stacked a little too high with dirt so let me get into Pac-Man mode and gnom, gnom, gnom, gnom, gom. Oh, it gives me my beautiful voice. I'm going to shit a brick later. Oh, man. Tom Boyd's like, dude, relax. You guys got to go out. You're going to blow your voice out there, champ. You're going to sing backup anyway. You don't got to push it. Um, yeah, but it's, it's, I do

love Chelsea Ross He's great in this movie actually He's so fucking funny I love him giving Charlie Sheen some tips As like how A Vagicil Yeah he's like what the hell's all over your chest And it's like

Vaseline here Vagicil on my side And he's like sometimes I put a little Something under my nose That makes my nose run Halapeno Yeah a little jalapeno under my nose Like get some snot rubbing on the fault

Charlie Shee This is where Charlie Sheen shines And we said this in Or we will say this I don't know when it comes out Which comes out first But we say this also in the wall Wall Street, WLM, but he is so much better at comedy.

And it is just these, like, flat kind of deliveries where, like, he says that about rubbing snot on the ball. And he's just like, you rub snot on the ball? Like, it's just a really good flat throwback. It's really funny. Yeah, but meanwhile, yeah, it's just the dead. And Dennis Hayesbert's great. And I mean, like, he's cut out of marble in this movie. And like, it makes sense you to be the big power hitter, which he is so good. His problem is, by the way, he can't hit breaking balls. You can only hit fast balls. Oh, that's right. but he's got

and it's just the voodoo stuff man every well I mean what else is he's also listen this this might be the best thing he's known for right because 24 as the president which is you know politically vado commercials which is also all state you're in good hand

insurance is a scam folks and then also the war on being supportive of the war on terror we're having far from heaven is probably a good one yes yeah that's right heat yeah he's he was he's a top two build on that? He's the driver

of the big, I mean, the big thing. He comes to see the guy at the diner when they keep on coming back. I need to rewatch. He's a driver guy. Yeah, I mean, he's been in good stuff. And he is good in this. It's just every time we're in the locker room, you're like, all right. Oh, yeah, exactly. Can we just that right? When he's just, like, part of the gang, like,

trying to get hits or like, oh, why that's so crazy. Like, I'm like, yeah, that's great. It's a fucking Dennis Hayesbrot. That it's like, let me just feed my God, Joboo. Yeah. Yeah. I'm laughing already. I'm sorry. cigars and rum you know we're afraid to get

cut is the idea so the whole thing is like if you are cut you're going to know because you're going to open your locker and there's going to be a little red tag there and wouldn't you know it Vaughn opens his locker Charlie Sheen there's a red tag and he's like all downtrodden

whatever goes in to Gannon's office and really just lets this dude have it fuck it's really funny I don't know what to tell you but I didn't cut you I think someone's having fun with you well oh okay uh nice seeing you and i will be going he goes out there and tackles dorn and starts fighting great fucking locker room fight man really he like jumps

on him to tackle him i like this i'm much more into sheen versus dorn as a central thing than this fucking bearer trousseau stuff i'm much more to these kind of rivalries these are interesting it's almost like pick one or the other and just lean in to one or the other yeah totally So it's like there's a really great, hey man, you know, Berringer tells him like, you know, calm down. You got to pack for Cleveland. And he opens his locker again. I notice it's like, this is spring training.

It's just a few weeks. Sheen's character, the pornography on the locker door? Like, I couldn't even go a month without pornography. A is just going out of prison. So A number one. That's true. Also, you're showing your dick to all your fellas here. You might want to get a semi-chub going.

Sure, absolutely. You don't want to be. Get some girth. Yeah, I get you. Just a little girth. It's a girth enhanced. A touch of fluff. A self-fluff.

A touch of fluff. We don't love Joboo doing it for us. So we get to Cleveland. There's a nice moment, which is, I think this one little scene sort of explores the two-sidedness of this movie. Because it's a really nice moment of Tom Berringer. You know, he's the old-timer. He doesn't have many games left. You know, his knees are shot out, whatever.

And he's going to, he goes around. He imagines hitting a home run. He's running all the bases. And it's like, it is a sports movie, too, which is the other thing. It tries to juggle this, like, romantic drama stuff, which makes it feel like a Kevin Costner sports movie. But then it is a big, you know, S sports movie, you know. And so he's doing that. It's really nice.

And then it's like Charlie Sheen and Wesley Stein's like making fun of him busting his balls. And so Beringer does the nice thing there. He takes him out nice, fancy dinner at this Cleveland restaurant. It's probably like the nicest restaurant in the city, maybe. You boys know how to dine and dash, don't you? You know, Willie Mays Hayes, hey, you're pretty fast on the field. You're pretty fast at running out of the restaurant. So you go to the bathroom first, and then I will join you then afterwards.

So you run so that we can sneak out. Yeah, you cars a big scene, and then we sneak out quietly. This will work out perfectly with you being black and us being white. You being the fault. I mean, it'll work out perfect. There is, at this, funny joke is Charlie Sheen's always wearing biker games. he was wearing a biker jacket and like they put a tie around his neck. Did you

catch what's going on with this jacket? It is a like sleeveless like cut off sleeves leather jacket. That's his whole thing. Everything is cut off sleeves. Eventually we get an Amex commercial they star in. They're wearing tuxedos. That's cut off sleeves. This is wild thing. He's wild thing.

You can't get him down. And from across the dining hall there, he just caesered. The kill bill this is Renee Rousseau is Lynn Weston I believe is this character This is like one of her first roles too Really?

This is a breakout for her too Uh yeah this is 89 She's in She doesn't come into lethal weapon until The third one right And that's firmly rooted in the early 90s 93 maybe And then get shorty's the mid-90s

Like yeah Get Shorty I think is closer than 90s That's the right you're right yeah yeah yeah So, yeah, this is, I mean, very young looking for her. I mean, you know, she is just getting stocked by a ballplayer this whole movie. But I think she's good in what she has to do. Sure, yeah. She's good in what she has to do.

But, like, this is crazy, right? Because he's just like, I'm going to, oh, my God, oh, my God, I'm going to call the restaurant. And I'm going to go. Oh, fake phone call. It's unbelievable how quickly it snaps on. Like, it's not even has to consider. He's just like, immediately like, boom. Okay.

Go to the phone and harass her a little bit. Okay. Just a little bit. What I'm going to do. Wait, wait. Okay, so I'm going to call the restaurant I'm in from the restaurant. I'm in. Wait, that's a busy signal.

Damn. Do you have two lines? Could you put one in for me? Sir, are you trying some sort of stalkerly old romance scam here? Called romance, sir. No, I'm actually Ed Froman, the sausage king of Cleveland, actually. Cleveland sausage, get the fuck out of here. We've been talking a lot about Mrs. Doughtfire lady.

This could have been a, this could have been a Mrs. Douthfire situation. just to hear what she's saying. Go over there and then run out and take off the prosthetics and go back. Oh, hello, dear. I'm an old-timey Scottish nanny. He doesn't put any makeup on. Death is on the way, dear.

But she goes, oh, does René Russo, whatever, Lynn is like, you have a phone call, blah, blah, blah. So she goes up to the front desk, goes, hello, Lynn, terrified yet. Dude, what he does is, fucking creepy as hell. You're not far off because she's on the phone like, oh, you know, how'd you know if he was here, whatever? And he's like, you look pretty good at that black dress with the red sash. And she's like, oh, fuck. And this is happening again. Her, there, it's his

ex-wife, like, full of ex-girlfriend. Yeah. But I did say, I think, at least my notes, oh, my wife saw a date down there. Oh, really? But maybe that's him projecting the future. That is, I believe so. Because they, it, there's no divorce talk or something. No. But when we find out is he was a serial cheater. Not like he cheated on her once. Like, oh shit, you know, I was drunk with the guys and blah. But he's just like, yeah, but I, you can't be with anybody else. I'll kill you. Oh, you see that guy? Is that the guy you're with? Is that, oh, it's happening. It's a, er, you know, both athletes, maybe it's better if we have an open relationship. Yeah, that means I get to fuck anyone and you stay home, right? If that's that true That wasn't my fault

You weren't taking yourself up on our offer I just wanted to hear one thing I don't know if you guys caught it And I just didn't hear it What was her athlete thing She was a swimmer A swimmer okay Olympic level swimmer

Do we get anything beyond her mentioning that? She was an alternate in the 1980 Olympics It's mentioned at the The dinner party that he crashed The dinner party Okay because I was like I was dying for Renee Rousseau to have anything outside of him and Tom. Right.

She should like toss a javelin on the field. Just have her go and like she's pissed off at Berringer and her fucking fiance and have her go swim for a little bit. And like show her like she gets back into these things. Like what attracted to the, because as far as I am seeing it, there was nothing that attracts these two other than I guess Tom Berger's supposed to be sexy. Hot fucking. Yes. Well, she also. She also loves books specifically.

Moby Dick, which is the king of books. That's the number one book. She's like, you never read Moby Dick. I like, I get it, like, but if this guy doesn't really read, you want to start a little slower. You want to be like, hey man, how about Catcher in the Rye? Give that one a shot. Oh my God, I'm going to kill the president. Great book. Great

fucking book, I got to tell you. Opened up a lot of things inside of me. By the way, I'm taking a 230 bus to Washington, D.C. It led me to some great, great pickups. this thing called the Turner Diaries. It's just a hell of a read. That's a page Turner. Like, you know, that?

Maybe a William Faulkner book, like, a little slim guys. I mean, Steve, you're mentioning like, you know, literature. Yeah, sure. Get this guy at John Grisham. Get there something from a fucking Hudson News. He's a baseball player. He's not going to be reading that. Stephen King.

Come on now. And he eventually reads Moby Dick in the movie. It's the comic book version because, yeah, he's dumb. All right? They're all, I mean, it's funny because they're eventually all reading them. Like, there's a crime and punishment one that gets flung around. I thought

that was pretty funny. Because it's Sheenpro, we got to, I'm going to try to, you know, this is a movie that doesn't necessarily star Charlie Sheen here, as I want to mention some stuff. He has a really good delivery in this scene. When Barringer spies that she's with a dude or whatever, he goes, yeah, you want me to drag him out of here? Kick the shit

out of him? Like, not even, like, in earnest, like, You're my teammate. You want me to kick the shit out of this guy in the street? Thank you, brother. I appreciate that, but that's my job. He's fantastic a comedy. Both hot shot movies are great.

Oh, my God. But so he's, like, with Renee Russo, Berringer's just like, I'm not leaving until you give me your phone number. Give me your phone number right now if you want to live. I will make a big scene and ruin your big fanci date. She's like, okay, 555. Help. 555 help.

Oh, my God. she gave her wrong number. Oh, my God, you gave her wrong number. I'm going to kill her. I'm going to kill her. But isn't that enough, dude? Like you, because later on he calls it's like, whatever, like, you know, Bob's repo services or whatever the horse shit he gets. Yeah. Isn't that like, oh, man, I guess she really was terrified at that moment. It needed to give me a better finder. Yeah. I'm sorry, Steve, but you know what? You know what losers do? They take no for an answer. That's true. That's what they do. They don't, you know, persistence means just edgic, like, I'm sorry. He literally. foreigners her in a scene. This drives me insane. I forget now, did he used to play for the Indians? Why does she live in Cleveland? It's the second stint in Cleveland for some reason.

Yes. Oh, that happens with baseball. That's that old. It happens with librarians. They say at some point that they had had him for like four years ago or something like that. Yeah, it's towards the end of my librarian career. I'm going to go back to where it all started. I want to finish my career as a Cleveland

just one more season at the Cleveland Public Library. I was doing AAA Library before this. Oh yeah, that's a rough gig. With the minors, that's like the book fair they bring to the first grade. I left the Scholastic Book Fair? Hell yeah. I left as a general manager.

I'm coming back as a general manager. So yeah, we have it's game day, game one. We're all excited. This is where we get a little Dennis Hayesbert doing a little bit of whatever there. He's lighting some stuff. Chelsea

Ross tried to, calls him a savage, which is fucking that really rings you here. It's really something. Uh-huh. Great. So he, that word should be nowhere near this movie specifically with what team we're playing for and everything else we're doing. It's better believe it. It should just be the team name.

I'm sure that they were. Oh, yeah. Well, that's what my daddy called it. And his daddy before him. It is interesting. when you go around Cleveland because there will be like it's it's like either

oh are you wearing like the old shirt people do that because they like that exactly you see that in Washington D.C. Yes it's like oh is it is it because you just haven't gotten around to buying the new shirt yet no no no no no they're buying up all the old stuff buying it bulk dude wearing that shit till it's just

fucking tatters on you. Yeah they're making a point it's about heritage. That's right tradition of course that's right. Oh it's all fucking abhorrent. So Chelsea Ross, yes, calls him Savage, decides he says to the skipper, he's like, mind if we do a little prayer to the Lord Almighty Jesus Christ

to watch over this game today? You can try it, but any time I see his name, I, uh, something flies out of my mouth. I don't need that I don't need that shit. I taste ash. I do like that he just walks away. Funny enough, Dorn leaves too. He's like, fuck this. Out of there. They set off the the smoke alarm, which is kind of funny. His prayer is literally rained out. I kind of like that. So we get on the field and here he is, man.

Still alive to this day, we found out, Bob Euker. Wow. Unbelievable. Still rocking and rolling on Mr. Belvedere at this point, which is one of the weirdest things of all the time. A hundred and some odd episodes, Bob Euker on Mr. Belvedere. He was the dad

and I guess because I think this was the week that he sat on his balls he was able to shoot this movie. Is that how that works? That's right. Mr. Wilberdeer sat on his balls and here I am. Had a free week to come shoot some fun stuff for the movie Major League. That's what they told the public, but I ate a nimble out of too hard. They don't pop easy.

It takes a bit. That Mr. Belvedere's got balls of steel. Trust me. I had to know on it. But Yucre is very funny. He's always funny in whatever he appears in. It makes sense that they did at the Brewers' Stadium because he was the announcement. That's right.

I think because he was a player too. Back in the day, yeah. I do love this gag right at the start. They're calling it Die Hard's night and it's whoever was alive at the time that Cleveland last won the pennant. You get like a discount or whatever. That is so funny. Like 1947 or something. We will sacrifice a child in your honor. Right on this field. I love the

gag of youker just sucking back the Jack Daniels. Just any which way he can, just a little bit of it. He does the great, I don't know if it's right here, but somewhere in this movie, he does the, and apparently there's a Bob Euker Improv, he does a little, like whiskey on his finger and puts it behind his ears like it's Cologne. Fuck, that's funny.

I mean, this is, imagine this, this is that you get to do this for a living. This pays for your house and your hamburger meat. It's fucking getting drunk and talking about baseball all day. I mean, honestly, well, we got lucky to. We're very lucky. That's exactly right. His hamburger budget was out of control. for a while. You know that. After my taxes, I got to look at my hamburgers. I got to look at it. I got to look at it. I got to look at it. Save all those receipts, dude. That's a business expense. I have to separate organic and normal. You know, it's always the thing there. Yeah, the IRS doesn't let you deduct plant-based hamburgers, but the real deal, that's a deduction. The impossible shit. That's all you. Well, actually, you'll get like an energy efficiency credit. Oh, that's true. It sort of balances that.

Well, I don't know about impossible burgers. Popeye, could I eat those? Sir, this is a ground turkey. You're paying for this. Stop bullshiting me, please. That's the one thing you can't write off. Oh, wow. Elk burger. That sounds fun. That's on your town.

Well, they ordered me because they didn't think a man could eat that many hamburgers in here. It turns out that I could. Yeah, they said, the IRS came up and said, prove it. They had all these burgers. And then you just ate them off. We did not ask him to do this, but he did. he showed us all these pictures of his what he called his burger shits

that's a great that's your receipt you take a photo of the toilet every morning I'd love to send a photo of my own shit to the people of the IRS absolutely definitely you should start taking this get a look at this asshole you get artistic with that like change the lighting

get some Dutch angles right yeah just don't edit it in Photoshop though they'll find that out don't get you so yeah they suck shit they lose 9-0. This Berringer calls up and it's like some fucking sheet metal factory or something tries to call Renee Rousseau.

Well, that sounds delicious. Hold on. Where were they? Do they deliver? Give me that phone number again. You threw it away. I get those white walls extra crispy. But this is he tracks her down at work, which... Oh, my God. I don't know how we find her here. Wesley Stipes, he's reading Moby Dick as a comic book.

And Wesley Stimes's like, you know what you should do? And, I mean, it's bad advice. It's just like, you should go to her job and then follow her home. And then now, now you know where she lives. Now you know where he lives. Wake up, Tom Berringer. And then he says, like, isn't that kind of juvenile? And Wesley Snipes has this great delivery of like, yeah.

Yeah. I know who you are. Yes. You're going to do something like this. But he can't hold back, though, dude. He doesn't. He tells him specifically just wait in the car and then follow her home. He goes into the library and he's like,

Why the fuck did you give me a fake number? Why did you give me a fake number? What a piece of shit. I mean, I'd be like, security is here. I told you, I knew he was going to come. It's that guy. But then he does follow her home and she's got the read, the license plate, which is something. It's a vanity plate that says read.

Oh, read. Yeah, like you read a book. Oh, oh, R-A-D. Okay, God. Yeah, what did you think I meant? Like a brass instrument? Yes, but I thought maybe the guy's name was Reed or something. Oh, no.

Like, like, like, she's a. she's a book one she's like you know you never you the funny thing about Renee Russo like you just need to stand your ground don't go around with like you never read books I just know you fucked everything that moved we learn right here she's like I caught you banging a stewardess yes like and even he even says like well I was defending your honor because she said she said she had a better body than you I was gonna prove her and like man that's that's low it's a fun A funny joke is Renee Russo, like, you know she didn't have a better body than me.

Like that kind of. Right. And there's also like a line, I don't know if it's there or later that it's like the, oh, we got, he got slapped with like a paternity suit. And it's just like, well, that was just a hoax. She just wanted money. Yeah, but you fucked her. Yeah. You still slept with. Yeah. I mean, that's a thing. But I didn't impregnator. I think Barrona works better as a ball player. Like if for a line like that, specifically the like, well, I had to defend. and your honor. He has to be a little bit more boyish. Yes. He has to be like boyishly handsome to get away with this shit. He's a long way from that at this point. He looks rugged as shit. Focus on playing with baseballs, not your own balls. Exactly. That's right. Good advice for all the boys out there. That's what my dad told me when he dropped me off at college. Think with this head, not that head. But the whole and her whole problem, I mean, it's, she's always flirting with him a little bit. Oh, sure. Get out of here. You. And it's like, no. Oh, my God. We weren't good for each other.

because we were fucking so good. We were like fucking great, weren't we? But I can't be with you. I don't like you. Well, I mean, it's like, as she says later, right? You know, when they do, they get down to shock on the spoiler alert. Like, she says, wow, it's kind of a weird, well, we might as well do this. It's the only thing that we're really good at together.

I was like, yep, doesn't sound like a great relationship at all. Yeah, you and Tommy might not be, you know, right for each other. Let's just say that. Yeah, the second one is he goes, he does follow her back to this dude's house. and like it's it is a snooty party and like no one is impressed that this guy plays professional baseball I think this is I would argue the wives like the way both the wives are like how

but the one lady it's like you think it's like a one way ticket to Splash Town and then he says what his salary is I make the league minimum 68 or whatever he just says league minimum and it's just a desert instantly it's just like actually never mind It's 1989, and so many movies of this era had that, like, at least a scene of like the indictment of yuppie culture. Absolutely. And that's what this is.

Yeah, this is they could, they could not be concerned. They don't recognize his name. They're like, he's like, oh, yeah, I play for the Indians or whatever. And the old, the older ladies, like, oh, I've heard they're quite terrible or something like that. Do they still have a team? Oh, is that what she says? I mean, this is a, you could cut this, literally, they make him, he comes in, he bursts in like an asshole. And the guy is accommodating and nice.

Like, let's get a drink. Let me introduce you our friends. I think that's a total problem. What they should do is he meets them. They get him right immediately and he's like, I'm leaving. And then René Russo goes like, well, okay, let me put this down. I'll say goodbye. And they just look at each other.

And then they have the last exchange, which is stay away from her, suck my dick. Yes. That is all they want to say to each other. It is a primo delivery of suck my dick that Tom Barrenger gives this yuppie scum. It's so good that this series. is worth it, that he is an unhinged stock. I love that. Shut my dick, no one can stop

me. Hey, listen, if I'm not dead, I'm coming to your house. You ever see that movie Terminator that came out? Bump, bump, bum, bum, motherfucker, what do you think now? Do you know the red dragon will rise? I have

He's just got fucking pantyhose on his face. I got to get home to my tiger. Do you have any, do you have any iron butterfly tape. No, I'll bring my own. It's fine. Are you friends with a blind woman by any chance?

You got dollars. I got dollar eyed. The two first instances of stalking here are cut in the middle. It's a funny joke. So the owner realizes they're still not doing bad enough. There are only seven games

out of first place or something. And so she's like, let's cut the budget more. This is where I love the shitbox plane that they have to fly on. It's fun. It's like fucking a blues plane. Yes. Yeah.

There's a shot of the pilot taping up the propeller with duct tape. Yeah. I mean, we're all flying Boeing in May, so it's a nice preview screening here we got. Yeah, the plane bit's funny. I think there's, is there a stewardess? I think what it was like, someone says, like, I think we should get the stewardess or something like that. I think it's Wesley's like. I don't think there is a stewardess.

He needs a bag. Are there pilots? Oh, no, that's what it is. Yeah. Leslie Snipes needs a bag. We should call the stewardess to get the vomit bag. I don't think there is a stewardess. Yeah.

And then, yeah, are there any pilots? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, I mean, there's so much of this that, yeah, it does feel like just these little moments. Like, you get the little moment of, you know, the skipper being like, hey, I'm pretty sure, Vaughn that you need glasses because he can't read a, you know, letters written on a piece of paper far away.

He's about to put it to send him to the minors and then he's just like and like Charlie Sheen's looking and he's like, wait a shit and hold on, can you read this? That's how good this fucking dude is, man. I thought that you know, it could have gone either way. It's just like I'm illiterate. Oh, I can see

perfectly fine. I just can't read or write. You have a thing where fucking the Chelsea Ross's character does it. Again, it's like this dude is practicing, you know, his religion in the locker room and then like he walks away

and this dude's like, walks by, like, say, because there's been this whole thing about like there's rum that's being put in front of this idol. Don't touch my rum, whatever. And he goes, up your butt, Joe boo, and takes the shot of rum. And then when he goes out on the field, he's immediately

hitting the head with a bat that goes flying. You know, it's funny. It's not like a thread of any kind. No, he's got a great unlikable face. Like at least, at very least like those bits about the voodoo like you know that he's the villain in the scenario even though yeah yeah no even though yeah no at one point the owner uh i think character's name is rachel phelps yes yes mrs phelps yeah but she comes out and you know like

lou brown you know he's just what was the actor's name john gam james james gammon james gammon he's completely naked oh dude it's so great this is what the whirlpool is broken he's like why can't i get in the goddamn world first of all you're the manager you don't need the we're all pulled. I just like it. Standing there completely naked and she's like she's going to tell. We're out of towels. I'm too old to be digging into lockers to get

one. Yep. And you look at my wet dick. She bangs on Charlie Sheen's jockstrap. Yeah. A little funny games. This is what she's kind of playing with the guy. I said, by the way, we should say the great Charles Seifers in this movie as the general manager.

Evil did die tonight. Yeah, that's right. he's great he's just got a great face and a great delivery like he does yeah and it's interesting to see him like in a movie like this you know and his character's like Charlie or whatever and he's like the general manager

in between the Lou Brown character and the owner of the team and he's kind of playing both sides he's the one who reveals to James Gammon that Indy Phelps is producering this and trying to my God we're getting producers

what on that movie how dare she what the hell does that make me franz leapkin or something i certainly hope i'm not the zero most stale character that guy was fat as hell even though i will jump on you okay speaking of other movies i got this guy outlined two cyphers he keeps calling me he's a he's a therapist or something something about some great evil coming to town right um you can ignore that that's uh that might be the mexican officials yeah i do agree that evil dies tonight. We're going to kick the shit out of them, Yankees. God damn

it. Yes, the Yankees are pure evil. Yes. Yeah, I agree. The one game with the Yankees early on, I love that one line, the Yankee batterer that is a vill, one of the villains of the movie. One of these lines he says to fucking Berengers, like,

how's your wife and my kids do it? Yeah, that's a good one. Somewhere a little before that, Vaughn's about to have his like first win as a pitcher. This is where Corbyn Burnson, he misses what should be an easy grab to get the out. And so, like, everyone's kind of a little suspicious. And this is where Berringer goes to the house.

And he's like, oh, you know, being really nice to the wife and everything. It's like, oh, get you something to drink. Oh, yeah. Oh, how you doing, sweetheart? I promise I'm not going to kill you. I'm here to kill your husband. Don't worry about it. And it was for you.

It would be dead or, oh, let me just bring my air tank in here. I just carry it around in case. It's a cattle call her egg air tank. You know, it makes me feel better that I'm growing as a person because usually I would see a woman. I would just have to immediately choke her to death. And ICU, Suzanne, and it's just like a friendly. We just have a nice relationship.

I'm just so happy about that. Thank you. You calm down my heart rate, Suzanne. He's a psychopathic killer with bad knees, but sure what. He's a psychopathic catcher. You could still get us to the World Series, but so what. but yeah this is the I don't know what happened to you

but don't tank another play like that ever again if you do I'm gonna cut your nuts off and stuff them down your fucking throat and it just cuts this woman holding a tray of coffee there's a lot of good fuck the fucking from Berger later is iconic practically yeah big pops yeah because Seifers does come in

and he's like listen I'll let you know what's going on here it's because you know she's producing the whole thing and then like because they're 60 and 60 at this point by the way she has already lost all incentive to lose you know what I mean like they're 500 team they're just middling they're not going to be the worst team in the league

they're never they're never going to get to that a low threshold that she needs to make her dream come true so she might as well put money into the team but she doesn't right because that's the thing is it's like at a certain point because the movie doesn't work unless she's the villain I guess exactly yes but then at the same time when the villain's

motivation doesn't exactly make sense evil woman It's the wild thing cut It's the twist that she was into it the whole time She's motivating that's just so It's so innocent It's fucking stupid It's kind of dumb either way

It is But so this is when like Gammon's like Well I just heard apparently Miss Phelps believes we can't win anything She brought the It's basically if I do that anymore I'm gonna fucking die Yeah careful there

If you know She brought a of rookies and veterans and like anyone who's on the team by the end of the year is going to get cut anyway like she doesn't care about any of us there's no there's no job security here yes even you dorn i mean that it's it's funny because he's like all right folks what we got to do is it can't just be jake here who hates a woman we all got to hate a woman for this to really work so here is a naked poster thing what i don't stand up cut it right Cut out. Because I think she was supposed to be a showgirl at some point. So this is an old photo of her, I guess, that we're taking a piece of clothes off for each time. And there's a thing that's like, well, the press thinks we're going to fuck up.

So why don't we stick around and give him a shit burger to eat? And then Barrona sends him, well, I guess if that's what's going on, we might as well win the whole fucking thing. That's a great man. It's so good. It's so good. I do like also when Charles Seifers breaks the news to Lou. about what's going on. It's great how we have a cut here

because it's not like explaining everything that we all know already. The audience knows what the fuck's going on because he said like, Lou's like, you know, oh yeah, coming along really well. All we need is just a couple more things to get it together. And he's like, Mrs. Phelps will never allow that.

And it just cuts away. And you know, he's fucking, you know, telling her what's going on. Meanwhile, they do win a game at some point and Taylor is Tom Barringer's name spies Renee Rousseau in the crowd and this is where he runs out and he goes to the security guard

and he's like, oh my God, I can't get to the other stadium to get my car. Oh my God, I need a car right now. And the guy's like, I don't know, why don't you take the one of the cruisers that we bop around the field with cut to Tom Berringer

driving a golf cart following this woman again. A golf cart that is shaped like a baseball. It's a baseball like with the batting helmet on it. She's unlisted for a reason, dude. Yeah, and by then they've won a few games. We do a quick montage of like the clothes coming off of the cardboard cutout. Charlie Sheen is at a piece of shit rock music going on.

Charlie Sheen is at a bar, a very sexy lady goes, wild thing. This is a, oh, yes, I'm sorry. He's at the jukebox. It's another one of those like absolutely nothing scenes. It's Charlie at a jukebox. And the girl comes up and is like, ooh, wild thing. They play the song and then that's, that's that's that. Because it'd be kind of lame if, like, because they, because early on the fan group says it as like, as like, sarcastically is like, wow thing.

Yeah. You fucked up the game thing. You walk everything. Yeah, that's right. And now, but like you do have to have somebody be like, you can't just have him give himself his own fucking nickname. Somebody has to give him this thing. And now everyone's wearing wild thing t-shirts and so on and so forth. It's a phenomenon across

of Cleveland. We see people in bars. They do like construction workers are now wearing the Indian hard helmets. What's his Hardheads? What's his name from Scrubs? Neil Flynn is in this. Yeah. He's like one of the guys is just like because it's funny because at first like they

fucking suck. They're not so bad. And then they become like kind of great. Yeah. You see through like these same groups of Cleveland citizens in the fan base like evolving their opinion. Right, because eventually, like, there's people in the stands and they're enjoying it. But at the start of the movie, it's like three guys.

They're like, let's get a wave. Who the fuck are these guys? I think that's Neil Flynn's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's get a wave going. And it's a two-person wave, which is kind of funny. Yeah. And the Japanese worker's been like, they're shitty.

Yes. They're still shitty. But yeah, so we do. I mean, again, it's a sports movie. So there's so many montages, montage of like, you know, them practicing to get better or whatever. Well, you should say he follows, he follows Renner Risto to her house. Oh, right. That's what's bringing up.

This is the baseball. ball cart. Yes, and then he fucks her brains out. Yeah, this is, he balls her. He does, you ever hear that, that expression? My parents used to say that they bawled. Oh, really? Parents are saying that. Oh, yeah. Your father bawled my brains out last night. They were quite liberated. Yes. Amazing. To the detriment of me. I don't think I was good for them, bad for you. Bad for you. I don't think I've heard it in like television, whatever. I don't think I've ever heard in the wild. Someone's a balder last night. Maybe it's more of a Midwestern thing. My parents are from Chicago. Yeah, could be. Yeah. Doesn't Jeff Goldblum say it in, um, I'm sure it's a cover. Yes.

Yeah. Well, actually, that makes sense because in the Midwest, you can only have sex after a ball. Right. So that, you know, it all goes together there. You see, here it's soda, there it's pop. Here it's sex, there it's ball. It's a little difference. Tomato. Tomato. Little differences. It's the little differences between New York and Cleveland. Yeah, or Chicago. I don't know. I didn't go to fucking Cleveland. and Burger King. How about that? So they sweep the angels at one point and puts them into second place. This is where they have, I really like the quick shot of them

filming the commercial and everything. And they have Wesley come in and he slides into the home plate. You know, American Express, don't steal home without it. Very funny. You do want Wesley to have a little bit more a time. Yes. Well, that's the problem with everyone in the movie.

Like everyone needs a little more time, but the nature of the movie is you don't get it. One thing that Wesley does get in relation to all this, though, is he says that he wants to steal a hundred bases in the season. He bought a hundred pairs of batting gloves. And for every base that he steals, he's going to attack the pair of gloves, like, up on his wall at home. And you do see in this same montage, he's at home hammering. And there's a shit ton of gloves all over the wall. Hey, haze, are you sealed my tacks?

What the fuck am I going to eat tonight? That's how I freshen my breast. God damn it. I put a bunch of tacks in my mouth. No, not tic tacks, tack, tax. Those are the one with the Chipotle seasoning on them.

I like them because they're spicy going down and burn coming out. Oh, my God. You should try the jalapeno tax. They're delicious. Oh, I must, oh, my God, I'm sick today.

I'm shit liquid metal. Oh, $1,000. Oh, crap. He only does knives and stabbing weapons. Believe you. It's like a pile of like Mercury on the floor

and it forms into a turn. That's reconstituting. We got to run the turd one thousand's after us. Clogged my toilet with the turd one thousand. God damn. You get the T2 music. Let's go hide at the gallery.

The gallery? Carl the plumber now. Your toilet's already dead. Hang up the phone. There's one more chip. I eat microchips. It's in my asshole. Let's go to Cyberdine and eat some fucking computer parts.

Cyberdine and dash. Yes. This guy is essentially the creature at the end of a cure. Just eating all metal things. I got to be honest, those Terminator arms are pretty damn good. You know, a little mustard on there. My ass has become self-aware. It's going to start judgment.

took so long to get that whole Terminator down my gullina d'need a vacation. Oh my gosh. Your step-parents are dead. This is our last podcast. I hope you'll talk tomorrow. No, I'm not.

We got more stuff to do this week. Yeah, we got to record tomorrow, so maybe we should stop talking. Get some salt water in there. Good show, everyone. Big detail, though. At the end of this, everybody's doing better montage

is Mrs. Corbyn Burson, Mrs. Dorn, is watching some sort of press conference on the television. The team's all celebrating, blah, blah, blah. And what does she spy in the background? Her husband, putting his arm around a lady and going in some back room or whatever. And this is how you can tell

that the guys haven't been getting laid like this in a while because, like, you would know, Dorn back in the day. Oh, sure. He would never allow such a thing. But like now he's just willy-nilly, here I am. You're getting sloppy, dude. It's terrible. In your old age.

dude, yeah. I mean, I do love this. Huge props to the makeup and the wardrobe people here because, so what happens is Skip, James Gannon tells Vaughn like, look, you're not, we're going

against the Yankees. I want to start the other guy. Chelsea Ross's guy. Yeah. And he's like, it's not about you. You got us here. Eddie Harris. That's right. It's not about you. You got us here. It's just a thing. He's feeling a little depressed. He goes to a bar.

This woman walks in and a stunning woman walks in. And he's just like, he's like, well, I don't know why you'd be. He's like, well, you're the sexiest man I've ever seen. And for a moment, it didn't click for me. It was his wife. Oh, is that right? A minute for me to get it. And I was like, oh, wait, good job on the fucking hair, man.

You really did it. She does totally transform herself. Once he's, when she fucks him almost immediately. And then like, once she's laying in bed, I'm like, oh, of. Oh, fuck. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's great. I do love the post-sex reveal here where, like, she's putting her clothes on and he's like, hey, where are you going?

I didn't even get your name. And she's like, Suzanne, Suzanne Dorn. Mrs. Suzanne Dorn. She true. Roger Dorn. She's true detectives. Yeah. That's great. Oh, my God. I can't believe. I would rewatch it. That's just, it's like

Matthew, Maddie McConaughey. She used my dick against me. I can't believe. It's just, like, standing there, like, robbed of his masculine ass. It's like, get out of here. She says to Charlie Sheena, she leaves the room. She goes, this is disgusting. She goes, you're a good kid.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, boy. I mean, that's what they were saying the whole time. That's how they were working it. You know what I mean? It's just, I don't need to hear it. If I was sure, I mean, if I'm, I'm Ricky Vaughn after this, I'm putting on the temptations.

I'm doing a little dance. I just fucked my fucking nemes. his wife. Now there's tension. You know, they're going in against the Yankees. They're about to like maybe sit, like clinch it and go on to the World Series or whatever. Yeah. And now it's like, oh, shit, are we going to have to fight Dorn? What's going to happen? There's all this him and honing. Serrano wants to sacrifice a live chicken before the game. Well, and you know, what's better than that is a KFC commercial, which, you know, but that is, I could picture Tom Berringer doing it for 100% both as a person and this character. He needed a whole chicken. Well, it's

kind of funny because Tom Berringer's the guy that's solving all the problems. Like, all right. Yeah, I'll take care of Serrano. Oh, by the way, Charlie or Vaughn, you just get dressed early and wait on the mouth. Just do not be in the locker room at all. You have a lot of time here. Get out of here before Dorn even hits the club has. Yes. Oh, yeah.

Could you win the game for us? Because I think then he might not care. If you could do that, we'd be great. One Dorn thing we skipped in the commercial, it's kind of great because this whole thing is like, I'm in his acting career. I just love like in the commercial, he's like absolutely. terrible. He can't deliver a line to save his life. And it's a great detail in this movie. Which instantly reminded me of like when you have those, this happens. I mean, this happened

with Alex Rodriguez. Yes. Where like you retire and then you become an on-air person. Arod has gotten better. But when he started just being like the color commentary guy, I think like ESPN had him or something. It was fucking brutal. He sucks. Tony Romo sucks. Tony Romo sucks. Tony Romo is obnoxious doing Monday night football. I have to imagine they're both. better than Dennis Miller, though. Oh, God. I'd be better than Dennis Miller. That was a brutal experiment. Athletes becoming actors.

Michael Jordan sucks at acting. LeBron James is awful. Rough, dude, rough one. Rough hand to think. Oh, but Larry Bird's great. Ray Allen. Ray Allen and he got game. Yep.

Oh, yeah. There you go. Not too bad. There are exceptions. There are a few exceptions. So, yeah, the whole chicken thing. I'll tell you what, though, with that product placement, man.

I was like, I was like, I had a case of the grumb bellies there. That chicken looks real good. The grumb bellies? Yeah. Yeah, that's what happens when you eat far too much sheet metal in one night.

You get the grumb bellies. Oh my God, I got a bad too much sheet metal last night. Got a case of the grumb bellies better take it easy to eat a couple of tires tonight. Someone out there name your band the grumbbellies. Oh, there's some.

You think it's already done? There's some now defunct Cleveland grunge band called the Grumbbells. All right. Then go with Piss Fart Toilet or whatever. I was in that band actually. We're Piss Fart Toilat Good Day. Fuck you, Cleveland. But yes, it's a big game.

It's the Yankees. And it is kind of funny because again, like, at this point, Ms. Phelps is just totally like, she's just in the movie. Like, because she never gets her come up. Because again, like, you guess what? It's a sold-out crowd. That's all going in your pocket. That's good for you. And they deleted the scene of her final scene in the movie. Well, yeah, the last day of you see her,

essentially, she's like, she's her rumphing, and Charlie's, like, jerking off next to her in ecstasy. Charles ciphers as Charlie, not the Charlie Sheen, of course. No, no, no, no, no. No, he's not doing anything untoward to that character. You know, it's the pen and everyone's allowed one good come. If you'll excuse me. And you see the way that, you know, people have sort of developed here, right?

We do have a little bit of character stuff happening, right? Chelsea Ross's and Harris character. He's warming up on the man. He's got the start. He's warming up with the Jobu Idol next to him. There's a, there's a play that Corbin Burnson makes.

Dorn makes this play and he does use his body as defense to stop the ball. So you see like all of these things that they've been trying to put in the play the whole movie. But they should have done more. I think you should have seen Ed Harris take a fucking bugger right on the fucking thing and like, and have

have like a close-up of the eye of the hitter be like, oh, dude I didn't write down a lot of the Bob Euker's stuff, but this is what, like, somebody hits a fucking home run. And this is just an example of these Native American

influenced things here we go. That home run is off the reservation. It's like slapping your fucking forehead. Oh, that fall just went right in the ground, and now we'll make a land acknowledgment. No. less than 25 people in this movie

are doing the Ted Nugent headdress and makeup thing. That's a funny thing. That's a funny thing. It's like now that the guardians, I just feel bad for the guy who has to like, because like last two years ago, he was like reservation and this and pow out. And I was just like, we guarded that one. We're guarding it again.

They sure did shield them tonight. I will say the guardians on that bridge are pretty cool. They're really cool. We went across that bridge to get to the airport or something. after a show there and they were really impressive. It's like a very Joel Schumacher Gotham City looking thing. Yeah, it's really cool.

You're dead right. It's so is. Yeah. I do like one Bob Euker thing, which is the iconic line where I think it's the first time Ricky misses a pitch and it goes way outside of the whatever thing, just a bit outside.

It's just kind of like, he does both of them very well, which is like the big ones and the small ones to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, just a bit outside and it's like fucking eight feet out of the strike zone. Yeah, so, you know, Dennis Hayesbert, I guess learns to not rely so much on his religion

because he has to be, fuck you, Joe Boo, I'll do it myself. Yes. Which, and then he does hit a real, he gets a two-run, home run, I think, or something like that. Tie the game, which is great. Ties the game, yeah. And then so here we go. Chelsea Ross, you know, he's the old-timer.

He's 46 going on 76 in his. movie doesn't have he's you know doesn't have a lot of throws in him things he can do this will finish this inning well he's put up on all night talking to don draper on the phone about a hotel this wily idea for a hotel chain he's got but so here we go relief pitcher comes in and this movie is credited with starting what is now the trend in professional baseball the closing pitcher has entrance music oh that's kind of cool like it you know the one i grew up with Mariana Rivera very

famously when he would come out to close down a game and her Sandman that started with this movie and this moment I mean this is like this is a great sports movie moment in here where Wild Thing plays and and Sheen walks out you know and the place is going crazy it's just a really

well done you know you get excited the guy with the handlebar mustache he's been fucking up the whole movie which this guy I was reading I can't I don't remember his name but he was a real baseball player. And funny enough, he was a pitcher, mostly in the American league, so he

rarely batted ever. Weird, yeah. In his career, I think he wound up playing for the National League later. But he's a big fucking dude, too. He's a huge dude. Yeah, he's a real tall, like, looks like fucking cane from the WWB. Only not a fucking insane politician now or whatever.

Oh, right, I forgot about that. Oh, yeah, that guy's elected to office in, like, Georgia or no. I don't remember. Some are crazy. Tennessee, I think. Yeah, some are crazy. I'm going to elect someone for a public office that threw people through fucking pine tables. Okay. Yeah. Sure.

Well, he can get things done, obviously. Was it outsider, you see. Oh, that's wonderful. And then, well, let's reelect him because, well, he's an insider now, you see. The thing that is unrealistic, though, is she, like, Vaughn gets a pitch off and every, like, the stadium is still playing wild thing and everyone's singing. No, no, no, no, no. It would be turned right off. Yeah.

You're not blaring. music for the first pitch of the inning like that. There's a cutaway to the owner, Rachel's saying, I hate this fucking song. Is that when Charles Seifers does the Raspberry? Yeah. Yeah, maybe. He's like, hey, this fucking song and he's like, I love the drugs.

I do, this is when Corbynson finally comes up to him and he takes the ball and he's like, strike this fucking guy out, will you? I only got one thing to say to you. Strike this motherfucker out. It's so good. Yeah, nice moment. You can fuck my wife. It's fine. Yeah, whatever. We're into it.

it. Come on over on Saturday. You strike this motherfucker out. You can come over whenever you want to do it. Give me some tips. You know, maybe I'll start fucking her. You got a hard on. We'll figure it out together. I could jerk off on her feet while you're doing other stuff. I could sit in a chair. Very comfy chairs in my house.

Berringer's got a good profanity use here too because when Dorn starts walking to the plate, he just goes, oh shit. Like he thinks a fight is going to break out on the mound, which is awesome. Oh, I found the guy, this guy playing Haywood, this Yankee. is former pitcher Peter Vukovic

who played among other teams the White Sox, the Blue Jays, the Cardinals, and the Brewers. Nice. Nice. But yeah, strikes him out, strike three, three pitches is all it takes. He gets this dude going down 101 miles an hour, this third fastball. They're like, oh, give him, like, don't give him a fat. He loves fastballs, but no, his fastballs are so good. That's how that works.

And I'll say this, and I like that buildup. I like that. gets backed and he gets to strike him out. That's good. And then the Berringer Babe Ruth thing where like all of a sudden the secret villain fat man, the pitcher comes out. Yes. And I'm like who? What? It's weird. Who cares? It's weird

because it has to, the only way that this game can work, well I guess it would have made more sense actually if Indians were up and he was about to, you know what I mean? Like that way the strikeout would end the end the game. So the Indians were tied. There has to be one more side. So yeah, to your point, like the

offensive part of it of Tom Berger calling his shot, like they're just like fucking with people. Yes. Yeah. Because they do they, they're like, oh, do you think this would work? And they do the hand signals. And it's like, just pretend to point like your Babe Ruth. They're setting him up because he bunts. Yeah, yeah. So that's the whole. And then Wesley can just steal two bases. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, so they win the game. It's great. They win the game off the

Barringer Bunn, Wesley scores. And what's that? Is that my future wife in the stand? And she's shown that she better be here. She no longer has the engagement ring on. So we're on to fuck. She comes down. The whole team's holding her up. Yeah, fuck prize.

Fuck prize. Yes. It's the best kind of prize. I can't wait to cheat on you one more time, baby. Oh, all the ways in which I'm going to cheat on you. Oh, yeah. You fucking fill for it. Oh, Lynn, I'm so happy.

I'm so sad to hear that Tom's missing. What? No, I heard Tom's missing. He hasn't been seen for 36 hours. What I do like about this, too, is it just ends on the field celebrating. And what's great is this is just the ALDS. It's just a divisional playoff game. It's not, like, they have to go through a whole other series to win the championship of the American League to then go to the World Series.

So it's cool that it's like lower stakes. It's lower stakes. And then you do find out in the second movie, they lose the ALCS. They don't go to the World Series. Oh, okay. Yeah. I have a false memory of them going to the World Series. The second movie, they win the World Series.

Yeah. That's what I'm thinking of. Yeah, but it's like, yeah, after this, whatever, whoever they played after the Yankees and the ALDS, they lost. Or CS, they lost, which is very cool. But yeah, that is the end of the movie. Much like Mighty Ducks, I think, right? They don't win the big chance, the nationals, do they?

Oh, in the second one? Yeah, at the second one, they start, and they're in loss, I think. I don't remember. I forget, but like, I think also it's a minor league. Well, the second one is the USA team versus Iceland or whatever. Big leagues. Yeah. Well, they're not.

Guys, this is Sheenpril, not Estabez. You're totally right. Fair is fair. Stick to one Sheen brother here at a time, but that is the end of Major League. Go around the horn here. Final thoughts. Eric Siska, first up to bat. It is a.

light recommend for me it is it's fun i like the ensemble i like some of these comedy elements i kind of wish it all came together a little bit stronger as a movie movie uh i remember liking it more when i was a kid but that makes sense yeah but it's a light fun movie if you want to put it on put it on there you go batting second christopher cabin i mean yeah i i i recommend it i think if you haven't seen i assume if you have television and grew up in the 90s you've seen this in one way or another at least in pieces at some point you had to but yeah if you haven't seen some like it's definitely worth it there's a lot of good zingers the script is not bad but again as eric pointed out there's just like no uh nothing holding it together no emotional resonance no thematic buildup any of that stuff

that you would like to have in a normal movie a movie similar i would say to this but they uh do a better job with it a league of their own yeah and uh you know i would have loved to see that i would love to Soderberg was supposed to do Moneyball for so long and like I kind of wish he we had some of his process in here like we say about getting some characters doing stuff Is that my younger sister

kit? You know what they call Soderberg in the Midwest? Popperberg. Yeah, really? Yeah, it's true. But yes, recommend it. Batting third Steve's saying it. It's a lot recommend. Yeah, for sure. I mean, it's a buck 45. It's a sports movie through and through. It's a

good, I'm not even a baseball fan but I enjoy the baseball stuff is actually the best parts of the movie is like them playing baseball all of the baseballie like oh he can't hit a splitter and blah blah blah all that stuff it's engaging it's fun it's like oh this I'm the older

guy on the team I'm going to teach young all that stuff is really interesting the outside personal stuff doesn't actually really hold together the stocking and you know our good friend the great Dennis Hayesbert just just having to eat some shit in this movie so that but it's

It's a light recommend. Bad and Clean Up Me. I'll say, yeah, you know, I like this movie fine. I don't love it. It's a recommend. I always say a full-throated recommend. Sure. You know, what we haven't mentioned,

Primo Hangover movie. It is just, it's a full-throated recommend. It's like gravely-throated recommend. Absolutely. Yeah, a Primo hangover movie. Second one not as good, but still has some laughs. But this is, you know, yeah, the stalking and, you know, the praying to Joe Boo and all that.

Not great, but it's 1989. There was unfortunate stuff all over the place with pop culture, including the fucking baseball team that's the center of this. And also, again, the thing that does not happen anymore, and we were talking about this somewhere recently, maybe on that night game episode,

because again, that was another baseball-related thing, but that idea of these movies where a real team is licensing their name and it's like a shitty team being shitty in the movie. really don't. I don't know when the heck the last time you saw something like that. Was it Eddie?

Oh, Eddie, where she's coaching the Knicks. Yeah. Maybe you're the real team in the replacements? No. No. That's a fake California team. I have to look it up. But like that it's kind of cool.

Moneyball, right? The Oakland A's. Oh, yeah. I guess that's true. That might have been one of the more recent ones. Incredible movie. Still got to see it. Oh, man.

It's a secret shame. You really love that one. I got to check that out. But anyway, that's going to do it. for what is just the inaugural episode of Sheen Pearl here, folks. If you want more content, of course, check out patreon.com slash

We Hate Movies, where this month the We Love Movies episode to celebrate Sheenpril, like we've mentioned already, is Oliver Stone's Wall Street, Charlie Sheen playing Bud Fox, Michael Douglas, Martin Sheen, great fucking cast, great movie. Good movie, check it out. I feel like that might be a blind spot for some people.

Give it a spin. Yeah, try it out. Absolutely. once in a lifetime we're going to be doing the last in the Beck I guess this is what not a quadrology no the fifth one quintology

quintology just what the doctor ordered hell crazy as hell a pretender to the throne of Hyder in the house another one of these fucking things these guys trying to just ape Gary Busey in that movie and just hasn't happened to it and by the way please don't say last we got to say most recent

I know you don't want more Chris Cabin, but I'm doing my work here. And of course, Melro 2 and O, that's going to keep rocking and rolling this month. Of course, things were really heating up and getting fucking crazy. That's going to be great. We are now full steam ahead on too old for this shit, which is now currently a X-Men 97 recap show. We're doing biweekly-ish recaps on that. We're having a lot of fun on that feed. Absolutely.

And because they're like a little wonky with the release dates, if you go to W. and podcast.com. You go to the too old for this shit. Show page. It has the release date for every episode right there ready to go. All episodes shall be recapped. And our Star Trek show, the Nexus, is back to normal programming, as is the Gleap Glossary.

I don't have a guy picked out yet. It'll be a humdinger. I didn't do my homework for animation damnation yet. But they will return. Just like James Bond, they will return. Exactly. And we are going to return here next Tuesday, where you can get it all new

We Hate Movies episode, either on that free feed with commercials or over here on the Patreon where it is ad-free, folks. Sheenpril rocks on next Tuesday with which Charlie Sheen star in film. It's going to get confusing. It's not baseball month. It is Sheenpril. But we are covering the rookie from 1990.

It's not a baseball movie. It's a cop movie. I've never seen this. So it's Charlie and Clint, right? And Ralph Julia is the baddie. I think directed by Eastwood. Dude, it is a slam dunk. It's a home. It's a Humdinger.

I'm going to be sent through time because I know that I've only seen this movie once and that was in theaters. Whoa. One time in theaters with my dad when I was seven and I don't remember anything. Oh, your dad definitely loves this movie. Your dad wanted to see this bad.

Oh, absolutely. I don't care that he's supposed to be an altar boy practice today. We're going to see the rookie, God damn it. Teach him something. But until next week, we're talking Clint Eastwood's the rookie that also has Charlie Sheen in it

Because it's Sheenpro. I've been Andrew Jupin. Steven Say that. Eric Siska. Chris Cap. Take it easy. Thank you.